#how long until we’re allowed to make fanfiction

[niightegoblingtyime]

I love The Magnus Protocol. My favorite part was when Colin wired two computers together so that Chester and Norris could hold hands and also gaze at each other and also kiss, and then they said “thank you, your kind heart and IT skills have saved us, here’s a detailed explanation of all the entities and how to stop them”

My second favorite part was when Sam caught Alice and Gwen making out in the break room and fully fainted in the doorway and dropped his coffee cup all over the floor

[tkwrites]

The Invitation - Jack Hughes x platonic ofc

Photo from Pinterest

Title: The Invitation

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Pre-established in the Snapshots Series - Platonic Jack Hughes x  Quinn’s GF Sarah Roberts  

Warnings: None

Summary: Jack extends Sarah an olive branch 

Word count: 625

Comments: Just a little blurb to set up some more off-season adventures. 

The Invitation

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

A week and a half after Quinn left for Michigan, while walking to the train station from the aquarium, Sarah’s arms felt like lead.

They were moving labs, and despite “going paperless,” they still had hundreds of files she had to box up, move, scan, and hopefully shred - if Dr. Forrest would allow them to actually go paperless. She almost told him he could keep all these damn papers at home if he wanted the backups so bad. If she knew she wouldn’t be the one moving them, she would have.

Her phone trilled, and she was so thankful for the airpods Quinn had given her. Digging her phone from the depths of her bag felt like too much of a burden. 

Siri informed her, “Michigan,” was calling. 

Dread flooded her limbs, and she stopped dead on the sidewalk, making the crowd part to walk around her. 

“Call from: Michigan,” Siri said again. 

Taking a steadying breath, Sarah tapped her right earphone to answer the call, “Hello?” 

“Hey, Sarah?” 

Recognizing the voice only calmed her racing heart by a tick. 

“Hey, Jack. Is everything okay?” 

He seemed surprised by her concern, “yeah, everything’s fine.” 

Sighing, she began walking again. “You’ve never called me before, so I thought Q was hurt or something.” 

“Oh,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn’t thought about how she would interpret him calling. He hated talking on the phone. 

“What’s up?” 

“Oh, um…” 

Good god, what was he even doing? He had to wait until she was off work to call her, and now, he was in a corner of the bar patio, hoping no one in their group would come looking for him. 

“I was calling you about Hawaii,” he blurted. 

“Oh.” 

“I, uh,” he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I think it would be good if you could come for part of it. Like, the second week or something?” 

A smile broke over Sarah’s face, “really?” 

“Yeah, I mean Quinn would love it, and my mom keeps talking about all this stuff you know, so it would be good for you to be there part of the time.” 

“That’s really nice. I would love to.” 

Of course she was sweet about it. She was sweet about everything. 

A pause passed over the phone, and Jack heard the city muffled through her headphones. 

“Anyway,” he said after a minute, “I was thinking it could be fun to surprise him. I’m talking to Kylee to surprise Luke, too.” 

“That’s really sweet, Jack.” 

“Don’t sound so shocked,” he admonished. He loved his brothers. If he could make them happy by buying a few plane tickets, he would. 

She laughed, “no, I guess I shouldn’t.” Still, she was surprised to have the kind of consideration that Quinn often talked about directed at her. It was a turning point she hadn’t expected to reach with Jack for a long time. 

“Anyway, I'll buy your ticket. You lived on Kauai, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“We’re doing that the second week. I’ll send you the details.” 

“Okay. Can you send me the dates now so I can request work off?” 

Right. She had to ask about stuff like that. He forgot that most people didn’t have the summer off.

“Yeah. I will. Listen, I have to go, but we’ll talk more.” 

Sarah stepped onto the train, feeling a little out of sync but grateful all the same.

By the time she got back to her apartment, Jack had texted her a set of dates and asked her when she could fly. It was going to be awful to keep it a secret from Quinn for the summer, but it would be fun to surprise him. She’d never seen him surprised. She wondered how he would react. 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[joanna-lannister]

I promised I would make a masterlist of all my favorite JC fanfictions, so here you go. Those fics aren't sorted out by Canon or AU, they are just a mix of what I loved over the years.

How My Story Ends by Millie55 Cersei and her army arrive in Winterfell to aide in the battle against the Night King. Or Cersei and Jaime reunite in Winterfell.

Casablanca by LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666 Tywin extends Jaime’s business trip abroad at short notice with express instructions to fly directly to the next country. Jaime however rather likes the idea of a detour, and he knows the perfect person to join him. Aka As long as he gets there by Monday morning it doesn’t really matter what he does in the meantime, does it?

They Want to Make Me Their Queen by Millie55 Cersei has lost everything except 2 things: Jaime, and her Kingdom.

Until Death Do Us Part by LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666 A new law is passed in parliament that changes Jaime and Cersei's lives for good, allowing them the opportunities, freedom, and happiness that they once could only dare to hope for.

my blood alone remains by houselannister The Austrian Princess is barely fourteen when she leaves her homeland for France. She speaks very little French, and is wilful, stubborn and capricious. She leaves Vienna with an escort of two thousand men, loyal Austrian soldiers.

The Ribbon by Magnolie Cersei is shipped off to France by their mother to part her from Jaime. But there is no without each other for them, only together.

Oh come all ye faithful by Magnolie Jaime and Cersei have their own ways and excuses to escape the boring Christmas Parties and even if they have to stay... there is always a way to spice things up.

therefore each to other bound by copacet Having escaped Stark custody, Jaime returns to King's Landing during the Battle of the Blackwater—thus solving some of his family's problems while also creating several new ones.

of love and beauty by liesmyth “We’re lions.” Jaime’s hand clasped around her own. “Let them all choke on it.”

The Price of Love by nightingalesighs Cersei studies her sleeping twin’s face one night trying to pinpoint when Jaime’s feature’s had changed. When his hair had started going grey and what caused the wrinkles on his familiar face.

She's always been afraid of storms by vwoolf Cersei's afraid of storms and seeks out her brother's company.

you gave away what you never really had, and now your purse is empty, I can see why you're sad by houselannister It's been five years since Jaime left London. Now Tywin is dead, and business is business. Cersei flies to Paris to get what's hers.

foreshore by lutece Still, the lions linger—perhaps they are dead across the sea, but in Pentos they have flourished with their cub.

The Better Cure by corrielle After being unhorsed by Loras Tyrell on Prince Joffrey's name day, Jaime visits Cersei to soothe his wounded pride.

perihelion by houselannister London, 2020 - After Tywin Lannister's death, Jaime and Tyrion uncover their father's most precious secret: a hidden sister. Money and power intersect with family and obsession.

Prophecies & Promises by spinsterclaire When the 18-year old Lannister twins find themselves locked out of their father's townhome, they visit an old acquaintance to escape the Manhattan blizzard. There, they must confront their fears about keeping promises, accepting fate, and bringing new life into the world.

Study Me, Study You by LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666 Jaime needs help with his homework, and who better to help than Cersei?

Take My Hand, The Night Grows Ever Colder by LordStannisTheGodDamnMannis666 Across the Narrow Sea, in a stone house on the shore of Pentos, Cersei Lannister dreams of her children.

The Loneliest Girl in Town by Millie55 Cersei fears she may have lost Jaime for good - every last piece of him.

Quiet. by frozenpapers Tywin interrupts Cersei and Jaime.

Hush. by frozenpapers A phone call interrupts Cersei and Jaime.

[p3girlsweek]

Welcome to Persona 3 Girls Week! This is a week-long event from August 5 - 11 dedicated to celebrating the girls from Persona 3. Anyone is welcome to participate as long as they follow the guidelines! Rules and Content Guidelines:

Works should focus on the Persona 3 girls. If you include the male characters, please make sure they do not overshadow the girls.

Romantic pairings, platonic pairings, and familial pairings are allowed.

Canon and AU works are both welcome.

Please make sure to tag your entries appropriately.

Any type of fanwork is allowed (e.g. digital or traditional art, fanfiction, fan videos, etc.) as long as it was made by you. No plagiarism or AI.

If you wish to use other creators’ work in your submission (e.g. fanart in fanvids, MMD models, etc.), please obtain their permission to do so and credit them appropriately.

How to participate:

If you would like us to reblog your work, please tag your post with “#P3GirlsWeek2024” OR mention our account (@p3girlsweek)!

We will only reblog works with SFW thumbnails. For NSFW works, please put the full version under a “read more,” or link off-site.

Writers are welcome to add their works to the P3GirlsWeek AO3 Collection.

Late entries are allowed! We will continue to monitor the tag and reblog posts until two weeks after the event has ended (August 26th).

For people who don't have a Tumblr/AO3 account that still want to participate, you can submit links to your entries using this google form and it will be added to a masterlist of off-site entries!

Most importantly, have fun and don’t stress yourself out! We’re excited to see everyone’s works!

Have a question that hasn’t been answered? Check our FAQ tag, or send us an ask! We will be more than happy to answer ✨

[codesecretsanta]

Code Secret Santa - Rules 2024

General rules

Once you have signed up, your match will be sent out by the 1st of December. Please reply to the email to let us know that you have received it.

Please meet the deadlines!

If something does come up and you can no longer participate, let us know as soon as possible, so we can arrange a new Santa for your recipient.

Seriously. If you can’t participate anymore, let us know! We’d much prefer to have people formally drop out than to never hear back from you.

If you change your username/URL during this event, please let us know. It can be difficult to figure out who you are and tag you in your gift if the information you provided us is no longer correct.

If you dropped out of the exchange in a previous year without notice, you are not allowed to participate this year.

This is one of only two reasons your application may be rejected. The organisers will not show any bias towards participants; this event is open to all Code Lyoko fans. The only other reason we’ll reject your application is if you haven’t read the rules. How are you supposed to prove that you’ve read them? Well, read on and find out!

If you need an extension please ask so we can notify the person about the delay.

If you ask for an extension and later find out you can’t finish your gift, please let us know. Otherwise, we’ll count you as having dropped out and you won’t be allowed to participate in future Secret Santas.

Please don’t put off making your gift until the last second. People are working hard for you and everyone else, so have fun and spend time on it.

We don’t like having to chase people up so again, please contact us as soon as possible if you need to drop out or get an extension.

Gift rules

On the sign-up form, there are four specified mediums and an “other” option.

Art refers to something that is hand-drawn (digitally or traditionally) and does not include graphic art. Art gifts should be completed and finished. If drawn traditionally, a scan is highly preferred but if this isn’t possible, please take a photo with good lighting.

Fanfiction should be 1000 words minimum. There’s no maximum. If you would like someone to proofread your fanfiction, mod @a-queenoffairys will be happy to do so (unless she’s your recipient, in which case you’ll need to ask elsewhere).

Video should be at least 45 seconds long and uploaded in good quality.

Graphic art is a work that uses official images from the show such as renders and screenshots, and/or other pre-existing images that can be found online. Examples of common graphic art gifts include mood boards, icon sets, forum packs, profile backgrounds, desktop backgrounds, blog headers, etc. If you’re going to be doing graphic art as a gift, we strongly suggest anonymously asking your recipient which of these they would be most interested in or find most useful so that they can get the most out of your gift to them.

The “Other" option can be used to put your own ideas for gift mediums. Examples include handmade crafts such as sewing or needle-felting.

If your gift is hand-crafted, your submission to us should be a photo of it.

If your gift does not meet the requirements we will ask you to fix it.

NSFW gifts are not an option. Please keep your gift SFW.

Your work must be new. 

Your work must be your own. Don’t steal from someone else.

How to turn in your gift

Your gift must be posted on the blog you specified in the sign-up sheet.

The tag #xana is automatically flagged as NSFW on Tumblr, meaning that any posts with that tag will not appear on search or tag pages. If you want to tag XANA in something, use #x.a.n.a. instead.

We’re tracking #code lyoko and #code secret santa on Tumblr. Please include one or both of these in the first five tags of your post and/or mention us with @codesecretsanta.

Once it’s posted, send us an email with the link (because some people might get a Secret Santa from someone on dA and vice versa) (email codesecretsanta@yahoo.com).

If you post your gift to a different website such as DeviantArt or Twitter, we will repost it to our blog here with full credit.

If you choose to send your gift via private message instead of posting it publicly, you still need to email us to let us know, or we’ll just assume that you’ve missed the deadline and will chase you up.

Please include I got you a rubber duck for christmas in the “Secret code” question of your sign-up form to let us know that you have read the rules.

Remember, this is a Secret Santa - don’t reveal yourself to your person until the 25th of December! If you want to ask them a question but don’t have a way of contacting them anonymously, let us know and we’ll pass the message on to them.

Post your gift on December 25th.

Got it? Sign up here!

[depressopax]

Promise

Nairobi/Ágata Jiménez x gender neutral reader

Fandom - La casa de papel/Money Heist

⚠This fanfiction includes spoiler for LCDP season 3-5!⚠

Pairing: Nairobi x gender neutral reader Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort Warning(s): Spoilers for La casa de papel season 3-5! Character injury, mentions of scars, blood and death. Just domestic life with Nairobi. Reader is gender-neutral.  Words: 1K Summary: After the second heist, Nairobi and reader get their happy ending, together.  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

|| AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

Promise

The kitchen smells of dish-soap and you hum softly to the radio in the kitchen, whilst cleaning the dishes from tonight's dinner. The bedroom door squeaks and Nairobi sneaks out of the son, Axels room, softly shutting the door behind her. She lets out a sigh and walks up to you, putting her arms around your waist and pulls you close. The engagement ring on her long fingers shine in the dim lighted kitchen, and a smile creeps up on your face, despite the exhaustion after a night of no sleep. You still can’t believe you’ll get to marry her one day. 

“He’s finally asleep?”

“Yea. He’s too damn obsessed with those video games.” she murmurs, her breath warm against your shirt. 

“Aww, poor thing.” 

“Need help with the dishes, amore?” 

You look at the mountain of dirty plates and glasses and sighs. And you thought you were almost done.

“Yes, please.” 

She puts on some gloves too, and playfully nudges you to the side with her hip. You grin at her, and together you take care of the house. 

Half an hour later, you’re cuddled up on the couch. The traffic from outside fills the silence in the room, and a soft breeze from the open window strokes your face. You lean against your fiancées shoulder, nuzzling your face against her neck, inhaling her scent. Moments like this makes you both forget the chaotic life you live.

It’s been two years since the heist against the Bank of Spain, and the memories of it are fresh. You all got out safely, as according to the Professor's plan, but it was a close one. You still wake up at nights, sweaty and out of breath, when thinking of it all. It’s always there, in the back of your mind. For Nairobi, too. The worst part was almost losing her. You try to shake off the memories, and continue holding the woman you love. Your hands stroke her soft skin, until finding the scar on her stomach. The bullet that almost killed her. Almost. 

“You alright, darling?” Her voice is soft and sleepy. God, she’s perfect. As you stare at her beautiful face in awe - the dark eyes and crooked nose, and those lips - you forget to reply. 

“Hey?” 

“Hmmm?” 

She grins.

“Someones distracted?” She kisses your cheek and neck, causing a shiver to run down your spine. 

“No. I was just… Thinking.” 

“You look tired.” She strokes your cheek and her expression turns concerned. “You’re thinking of the heist.” 

“No.” But there's no point in lying to your fiancée. She can read you like an open book. Nairobi knows you better than anyone else. 

“I’ve been having nightmares.” you swallow down tears threatening to well up. Noticing how frantically you’re blinking your eyes, her face softens.

“Hey…” she pulls you in for a hug, and you allow yourself to sob. 

“We’re okay.” Nairobi whispers. You seek her warmth, her comfort and love. She’s like a drug. 

“I almost lost you.”

She tenses a bit, before continuing to rub your back soothingly.

“But you didn’t.” she tries. 

You look up at her, but it’s hard to look mad when she gives you that sheepish smile. 

“I’m right here.” Still not having convinced you, she sighs “And I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Promise?” 

She wipes the tears from your puffy eyes and looks at you. Her dark eyes meet yours, and you can almost see your own reflection in them. 

How many times have you not had this conversation? How many times have you woken up in panic, thinking she’s gone? How many times has Nairobi panicked, thinking she doesn’t deserve you, nor her son? Promise. That has become your mantra. A word the two of you repeat, time after time, whenever shit gets rough.

“I promise.” she says, and you let out a shaky, yet relieved exhale. From Axel's room, soft snores can be heard. You giggle.

“He’s such a damn heavy sleeper. Like his mama.” 

Nairobi laughs and squeezes you tight to her chest.

“I’m not! And I don’t snore.” 

Your face says it all, and she grins.

“Alright! Maybe I do.” 

You sit on the couch, cuddled up for a long time, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you.

“I love you.” you whisper.

“I love you too.”

You look at her again, and almost lose your breath. You’ve been through hell and back with her, and sometimes it’s hard to believe that you’re both sitting here, safe and sound. She’s breathtakingly beautiful, like the first time you saw her, in the Toledo House before the first heist. Now, years later, she’s still the most beautiful woman you’ve laid eyes on. 

“I can’t wait to marry you.” you whisper, totally in awe of her. 

“I can’t wait to marry you either. And then, you’ll be mine forever.” 

Now it’s her turn to look at you intensely. She doesn’t say it out loud, but when she looks at you, she can see the future in them. She hates the sense of familiarity those puffy eyes gives her. She’s seen you cry many times. The only thing that hurt more than getting shot, was seeing the panic and devastation written on your face. The pain as you screamed her name and begged her to stay alive. And then it was the tears of relief when she woke up after the surgery. It is something Nairobi will never forget. 

She’s made a promise to herself, too. To keep you - and Axel - safe no matter what. After everything she’s been through, she finally has hopes for the future, thanks to you.

“Forever, huh? Sounds good.” You give her a playful grin. “Promise you’ll love me forever?”

She rolls her eyes, but still can’t resist your playful charm. Nairobi leans closer. With her lips against yours, she whispers:

“I promise.”

This story was based on request:

Thank you sm anon for the request! And I'm so so glad you like my fanfictions! It makes me so happy ahhh 😭💕 And HOLY SHIII- you're so real for this request 🥺 I'm still in pain from THAT mf scene :( I hope this can take some of the pain away lol 😭 And I hope you like the story! Have an amazing day. <3

Hey uhm just so you guys know, this is the canon ending.

NAIROBI IS ALIVE AND WELL!!!

(I have a whole ass OC dedicated to dating Nairobi and giving her a happy ending - I'm not kidding <3)

[taikouvember]

Rules & FAQ

Even though most of the general rules for the week were already written down in the Event Announcement Post, we would still like to specify some of our Do’s and Don’t’s to make sure Taikouvember will turn out amazingly for everyone involved!

Do's & Recommendations

The event goes from November 6th to November 12th, one day for each of the 7 prompts. 

You may choose either one or both of the contrasting prompts to use for each day. Interpret the prompts as you like, you can find some helpful tips in our Prompt Guideline. You may submit as many entries for each prompt as you like.

Every kind of entry will be allowed: Fanfiction, Drabbles, Poems, Fanart, Comics, Sketches & Doodles, Music, Playlists, Music Videos, Picture Sets and Edits, Gifsets, Meta, etc.

You can of course decide which series or medium you want to focus on: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure 02, all corresponding movies, Digimon Adventure Tri, Digimon Adventure Last Evolution: Kizuna, Digimon Adventure 02 The Beginning, Digimon Adventure: The 2020 Reboot, games, manhuas, audio dramas, novels, the stageplay, etc.

You are free to choose how to interpret the relationship of Taikou - whether that's romantic or platonic is completely up to you!

Other canon characters are allowed to be included, as long as the entries contain the original ship Taikou, the original characters, Taichi Yagami and Koushiro Izumi, and/or in extension, their partners, Agumon and Tentomon. You can also include multi-/polyships, OT3s, etc. as long as they contain Taikou.

Crossovers, Alternate Universes (AUs) or Own Characters (OCs) are allowed, as long as the entries contain the original ship.

When posting your entries, please make sure to @ us directly as @taikouvember in the entry post or use the following tags: #taikouvember2023, #taikouvember 2023, #taikouvember. You can also submit your posts directly to our blog.

We will search the different ship tags for your entries too, so regardless of what spelling you use, we will try our best to find it. Late entries beyond Taikouvember are perfectly fine, we will search the ship tags until at least the end of November. If we missed your entry, please contact us directly! #taikou #koutai #taishiro #taishirou

Old content may be reblogged by using our handle @taikouvember, so we can find it or you can send us content you would like us to reblog for consideration. We highly encourage creating new content though!

On Day 7, you may post whatever comes to your mind in regards to the ship, something you always wanted to shout into the world, but never found the opportunity to do so! We’re excited to see what you have in mind!

Don't's & Restrictions

Do not post any ship or character bashing/hate concerning any other Digimon ships/characters. It will not be reblogged.

Only post your own content, art theft etc. will not be tolerated.

Spoilers for the most recent movie, "Digimon Adventure 02 The Beginning" will only be reblogged if tagged accordingly and/or put under "read mores"!

Not Safe For Work (NSFW) content may be submitted in moderation and in line with tumblr's guidelines, but only if it is hidden under "Read Mores". Any kind of adult themes and triggers need to be tagged accordingly. Please understand that we might not reblog explicit, disturbing or any kind of discriminating content.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us directly! Have fun!

[that-left-turn]

I don't get your last anon. I thought this is shipping? Well, we're shipping Caryl, right?! Hardly a ship goes canon. My ships never went canon. Why aren't we allowed to whine about it for years and years?

We start to ship someone, we're searching other shippers, enjoy fanart, fanfiction and whine when they won't get canon etc.

My oldest ship started mid 90s when I was barely a teenager.

Let people enjoy and love whomever they want. No matter if they're going canon or not.

We saw, not long ago, how ridiculous it can get when when a couple is canon. (Cringefest at its finest)

So it doesn't matter that they haven't been together until now. It might not matter if they go canon S2. As long as people ship them, great. (BTW, my first ships fanfiction is still getting updated almost daily 🤗)

Agreed, shipping isn’t related to whether a couple has gone canon or not. It doesn’t even matter if the ship is a popular one because the important part is that it resonates with the viewer. It’s just common to seek confirmation for your observations—we all wanna know we’re not “out there” for thinking something, right? I think the previous anon was simply frustrated and wanted to know why I didn’t seem to share those concerns. I get that 🫠 I can sympathize with the feeling.

My point about the fandom dying wasn't about canon at all. Like you said, there are fandoms where the shows ended decades ago that are still going strong 😊 It feels like there's too much in-fighting between different factions of Caryl fans for this fandom to be healthy. How someone ships is individual: some fans want to remain in their happy bubble and enjoy the fandom spoils without engaging with TPTB, others want to advocate for their ship to go canon. Live and let live, y'know? I don't have the right to tell another person how to enjoy their hobby.

As to whether Caryl would turn into “a cringefest” if they were to go canon depends on how well the showrunner writes old married couple a mature middle-aged relationship, what tone is set for that arc (if it runs counter to the external plot or harmonizes with it), whether there’s studio interference and if the NW EPs have agendas of their own.

AMC (and Norman) like ambiguity to the point of plausible deniability. Caryl will in all likelihood reunite in the last two episodes, unless the block shooting was completely wild (in which case the script supervisor and line producer were the two worst jobs of the entire production). There won’t be time to explore an emotional arc—the reunion would be the denouement of the first two seasons’ B plot: seeing each other again. If there’s canon, it might be the case of acknowledging it having happened at some point offscreen (before the spinoff) and then the show proceeds with “business as usual.”

Based on what little promotion AMC/TWDU have done so far, they’re aiming to draw in all factions of viewers (including those who hate watch) rather than to build anticipation for the core demographic. That usually means a studio is nervous about how the season will be received, but we’re still in standby mode and I don’t want to make blind predictions because AMC has never acted the way other studios would in similar situations.

[sunshinereddie]

Something that absolutely kills me every time I see it come up in fanfictions is the losers referring to each other as brothers/sisters. Like "Of course I'll be your best man. What are brothers for?" Or like "Yes, I can stay in this hospital after visiting hours, I'm his sister." I like it and I think it's cute and good every time

IF you'd like to get ouchie about it however I do also imagine that there are times in the 27 years when the losers will be asked if they have any siblings and they'll go "Yeah I've got a sister and a couple brothers" and then they'll pause and go "Uh. No I don't. I'm an only child. I don't know... I don't know why I said that"

SCREAMS i both love this idea so so much but it also breaks my heart so bad………

like on one hand i love to imagine after the ch2 battle when eddie’s in the hospital, obviously none of them want to leave eddie’s side but when visiting hours come to a close the nurse tries to tell them to leave, but they’re like “actually we’re all his siblings.”

and ofc the nurse just stares at them like. “all 6 of you are his siblings?” (6 bc stan is there too obviously nothing bad happens to stan!)

and they’re all like “yes of course we are!” and richie starts going on this long dramatic tangent of “how it’s actually incredibly disrespectful that this hospital would turn away grieving family from staying with eddie, when we don’t even know if he’ll ever wake up, these could be our dear eddie’s final moments on earth and we aren’t even allowed to see him-”

eventually the nurse realizes that dealing with them is more hassle than it’s worth and allows them to stay, and so all 6 of them are squeezed into eddie’s tiny room while they wait for him to wake up.

and finally when eddie DOES wake up, the first thing he sees is a nurse (different one than before). eddie’s still trying to process what’s going on, just barely hearing what the nurse is saying to him, and he manages to catch her say “…you’re so lucky, to have such wonderful siblings who stayed right by your side the entire time.”

eddie is obviously confused, he’s about to explain that he doesn’t have any siblings…… until he looks over to the side and sees none other than the losers club sitting at his bedside, and it all makes sense.

but also,,,,,, what you said about them during the 27 years 😭 THAT HURTS SO BAD !!!! like im imagining richie at college talking to some friends and he’s telling them this story about his “brother”, but then when his friends ask him about his brother (how old he is, what his name is, etc), richie realizes…….. he doesn’t have a brother. he can’t even really picture the person he was talking about, he can’t quite remember the person’s face or his name, and yet….. richie very distinctly remembers considering that person a brother to him. richie just ends up making up some imaginary brother to tell his friends and quickly changes the subject, but it almost…. haunts him, how he has such strong feelings about this person, (or, as he starts to think a little harder about it… these people, he’s sure that there were more of them) and yet he can’t remember at all who they are.

or even bill, of course he remembers georgie, but imagine one time he’s telling someone about his brother, and he just says, “yes so my little brother eddie-” and he just. pauses for a second. before quickly correcting himself like “sorry no, my brother’s name is georgie, i don’t know where eddie came from…” but then he thinks long and hard how on earth he accidentally said “eddie” instead of “georgie”. bill doesn’t even think he knows anyone named eddie, so… where did that name come from? and why did he think that that person was his brother?

but also, imagining mike still in derry, if people ever ask him if he has siblings, he will say purposefully, and with a big smile, “yes, i have five brothers and a sister. they all live across the country, and i haven’t seen them in a few years- but i still love them all very much.”

this hc. this hurts me. the losers club they……. they’re a family…..

[eddiemonth]

FAQ

When does the event begin?

The first day to post is October 1st, and it will run through the entire month, until Halloween (the 31st).

Where are all the prompts?

We’re releasing them a little at a time, so they don’t overwhelm you all at once and to give you a little something to anticipate ;) There should be a new batch of prompts posted every 5 days—so the 3rd, 8th, 13th, 18th, and 23rd of September. The masterpost is here, to see the most recent update!

What can I make?

Anything that could be considered a fanwork. Fanfiction, artwork, gifsets, edits, moodboards, playlists… canon ships, reader inserts—so long as your creation features Eddie Munson, have at it!

How do I make sure you see my work?

Put @eddiemonth in the caption!

Is NSFW allowed?

Yes, so long as all characters involved are over 18. Just be sure to tag it with #eddiemonthafterdark, and put any explicit content under a read more. You may also consider using Tumblr’s community labels, and artists might prefer to host their art elsewhere. That’s perfectly fine!

What should I tag?

Use #eddiemonth, and if it’s NSFW, #eddiemonthafterdark. Do please make sure to properly tag individual ships as well, or x reader fic as #xreader, for people’s blocklists. We will also be tagging diligently, so anything that slips through the cracks should still be filtered out on this blog. We’re here to celebrate Eddie, not get into ship wars!

Do I have to do every single day?

Boy, what an undertaking that would be! No, you do not have to do all 31 prompts this October, unless you enjoy the sort of challenge that provides. You can pick and choose which prompts you are most inspired by, do every other day, one per week—it’s up to you!

Can I use a prompt, song, or trait on its own, or do I have to use all 3 at once?

You can pick and choose which you take inspiration from! We tried to coordinate the tone of each so they can be used in tandem, but if you don’t like the feel of one or another you’re welcome to omit any part and just use whatever you are most inclined to.

Are late works accepted?

Yes, no need to worry about lateness, we’ll keep checking back a couple weeks after the event is over!

Is there an AO3 collection?

Yes, here it is! If you need help posting your work to it, we have a tutorial here. You’re welcome to post your works to it, but it is in no way required.

Is there a playlist of every song?

We’ve got one we’ll be adding to as the prompts come out, here!

[heademptynotasinglethought]

No one I know has seen this movie and It wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be and I’m upset

Has anyone seen that movie Fanfic on netflix? Its a polish movie so it has english dub which is how I watched it. So take this into consideration with my opinion on it. Maybe its exceptional in polish idk.

The writing is so bad but it had so much going for it :(

As the title suggests, there’s a reference to fanfiction, what it can do for its readers and the people who write it. But that’s all. A Reference. Its not really something that we focus on throughout the movie and I actually forgot that this is what the movie was supposed to be about halfway through until they throw it back in there at the end for some reason. 

We’re following our main character, an alternative looking teenager with a cool edgy shag cut that hates their life and their parent and uses their fanfiction writing as a form of escapism. They see themselves as a rockstar, dating the character of their dreams, living a life they could never live. I get it I get it seems cool.

But its weird because, the life that our main character is escaping tbh doesnt seem that bad. I mean sure they are unhappy, don’t get along with their father, but also they basically go to euphoria high school so they get to go to all these cool warehouse raves with their huge group of friends all the time? Thats not so bad. Its truly silly like, our character will be out with their large group of friends to this bonfire that they didnt have to go to if they didnt want to but for some reason they brought their laptop with them to write fanfiction. ( how their laptop battery can survive all this I dont know im jealous)

And they see a therapist who seems to be genuinely interested in helping them deal with their emotions in a way that isnt just yelling at people, but alas the world is against them all the time of course. I think what really makes this character not work for me is that there is no internal dialogue? There is initially, like in the first couple minutes of the movie but then they just decided actually nvm? and from then on I just have to guess the main characters thought process and feelings from some longing stares. 

I kept watching despite how much I didn’t like this main character only because the show is nice to watch tbh its pretty. And then I got even more sad because our character finds out that theyre trans. 

Now i just want to like this movie even more right???? But how they find out theyre trans is truly silly. I’m nonbinary and do consider myself trans, sure I dont know everyones experience... but also has anyone ever just decided to put on a pair of jeans, a t shirt, and a jacket and then decided they got the wrong gender? Because our main character does. Its not like he was in drag or something thats just a comfortable outfit for any gender? Have they never been allowed to wear pants before???? I just dont understand. 

The rest of the movie is not that exciting just kind of finding themselves with a love interest who shows up every now and again and isnt too exciting. This movie feels like something that was made to be a show but some higher up said nah so they smashed in to an hour and a half. Why are the characters so flat. Why is our main character the worst in a way thats not intentional? Why cant they wear pants until they find out theyre a boy? 

Am I a girl when I wear mini skirt and a boy when I wear pants?

Also who is our main characters hair stylist I liked his hair before he cut if off I want that please and thank you.

Anyways head empty.

[knightyoomyoui]

Dahyun x F Reader - “Rewrite The Stars”

HAPPY 50K READS TO THIS BOOK AND BELATED HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR JJANG DUBLANGDUNGIE BABY SUPERHERO, KIM DAHYUN! #HAPPYDAHYUNDAY2023💞🎈🎉

I know that I'm way too late on updating this, a week passed after her birthday and I'm really sorry for that. I've been really busy with all the school stuffs especially that I'm recovering from being drained on our midterms. WE'RE IN THE MONTH OF JUNE, BY THE WAY ... SO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ALSO TO MY READERS AND EVERYONE WHO ARE PART OF LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY!

And since this is released in Pride Month, expect that I blended the story to show my support and respect for gay people. I just really hope that my average English vocabulary and how sensitive the topic included in this story won't cause misunderstanding that might offend any members of the community who reads this. I swear I don't mean to hurt anybody's feelings, all I just want is to express my love and acceptance for you guys. Lastly, this doesn't portray Dahyun's parents in real life. I repeat, this is alternate universe FANFICTION. This has nothing to do to their true personality. TRIGGER WARNING: homophobia and discrimination

A cold, peaceful, starry night in the seaside area where the two lovebirds YN and Dahyun are currently strolling together as they let out the remaining time they had to just run out after spending their moment with some of the things they wanted to do.

Both sensing that their feet are slightly aching from the amount of time they've spent walking around the places they've gone through, YN led the initiation for them to take a space across the length of the stone barrier on the seaside.

They climbed while helping the much smaller Dahyun reach the layer. When they did, they sat aside from each other as the waves of the body of water were now present in front of them.

Inhaling the salty, fresh aroma of the breezy air, both felt the relaxation they'd needed for a short break, which was sent through their bodies to at least lessen their tiredness.

They were quiet for a moment until YN planned to bring them into a conversation to escape the silent and awkward atmosphere they may have constructed.

"How's that for a celebration?" YN asked, keeping her sight on the splashing waves of the Seoul sea with a smirk on her lips.

"The best one I had so far." Dahyun smiled largely, glancing at her lover's side profile. "Thank you for this, YN. I enjoyed it a lot with you."

"Glad that I did, you deserve it Dahyun-ah. You did really well earlier on your class." YN clapped her hands as she tilted her body to face her beautiful girlfriend. "Woah, it's still so awesome. Being the top scorer in the test. Congratulations again."

Dahyun giggled sheepishly and blushed. "Yah! I couldn't have done it if it wasn't for you, okay? Y-your... good luck message you sent me while I'm about to pass out from reviewing motivated me back up. So I give the credits to you, babe. That's for you too and my another way to express how grateful I am at you for being my supportive girlfriend."

Dahyun pursed herself to give a kiss on her cheek. Her face enlightened and heart bloomed at her love sign. "I'll do the same for you when you got one next time."

"Do as you wish, Dubu. I'll need that too since I've learned it's effective." YN playfully replied. Dahyun found it hilarious as she grinned.

The two went quiet again to resume their admiration for the sight they were watching together in front of their eyes. This allowed YN to recall this particular fact that popped into her mind and realize something interesting afterward.

"Dahyun."

"Hmm?"

"We're on the road to taking that first whole year, right?"

"Yeah. It would be our first anniversary too." Dahyun blushed at how special it would be for them to also celebrate once they arrived there successfully.

"We've been together for that long now... and I just think that what if..." YN paused to slow it down and not make it too sudden for Dahyun to understand easily.

She is now looking at her, as that halt in the middle of her words got her attention entirely. "What if it's time for us to let your parents know now about our relationship?"

Dahyun stared at YN after hearing that. It got her in a short recall that she and YN were already approved by YN's parents, who have willingly lent their blessings as a way to support the two lovers.

That was a few weeks ago. They were about to inform Dahyun's parents after, but Dahyun requested that they take more time to do it. YN understood that she wasn't ready as much as she is, but that didn't make YN interpret that she was ashamed to announce this to her parents.

All YN knows is that Dahyun is nervous, and she gets it because this is both their first time being in a relationship together. They have to take things slow.

"I mean... yes, I know that last time you said that we should give it a time for now but I'm not rushing you, okay? I just have this idea that what if we have our own parents have the knowledge about us before we reach our first year together." YN explained her suggestion calmly.

Dahyun looked away and nodded, taking her girlfriend's side understandably. "I do get it, and I agree with you."

YN's curves in her lips formed at that response. not until it stopped when Dahyun followed up on her words.

"But I don't know why. I'm still nervous, YN."

That same exact reason is what YN got again for the second time. She respects it and wants to accept it truly, but couldn't there be a much wider story behind it to make it even more... concise?

"Then tell me, Dahyun-nie." YN glanced at Dahyun, lowering her head down. "I'm always here, ready to listen to what bothers you. You know that I stayed to be your company too, right?"

Dahyun nodded.

"Let me know. What makes you nervous about revealing our status to them, Dahyun? We can use it to prepare ourselves more."

She reached for Dahyun's hands clasped together and held them in her touch to ease the lady's feelings. It helped Dahyun, and it permitted her to breathe lightly before answering your concerns.

"It's just... m-my parents. My family."

"What's with them?"

"I grew up on a highly religious family, YN and this... w-what we have here... I'm scared that they won't let it pass through."

YN went speechless. Hearing Dahyun's fears, it struck her to the complete clarity that she was involved to many church services with a purpose. That's because their family was a lifelong servant of God, passed and influenced through their generations, to become a believer and follower of all the gospel of the Lord.

And it seems that she and Dahyun's relationship doesn't include to one of the beliefs that were applied to their bloodline.

"S-so you're nervous because... you're thinking that they won't accept us for what we are?"

Dahyun nodded, her sadness and embarrassment growing inside of her. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything, YN. I just want you to understand. I want to say again that I may be nervous... but I'm not afraid of introducing you to them."

You were noticing some little sniffs and shivers on Dahyun; indicating that she's dealing now with her emotions attacking her. Being a considerate and carefree girlfriend like you always do for Dahyun, you pulled her towards you and wrapped her in a warm cuddle.

"I know. Don't overexplain too much, I'm not angry. Do you know why I couldn't take your words as a lie to me?"

You began caressing her back and stroking her long dark hair from behind to add the soothing effects of your comfort.

"It's because you still decided to come after me despite knowing the consequences it will bring when it comes to your religion. That's enough for me to become grateful and appreciative of you, Dahyun... that you still chose to love me even though they say it's wrong."

"I love you too much, YN. I couldn't resist it. My heart just wants you." Dahyun buried her face deeper in to your arms.

"I love you too... always, Dahyun." YN smiled and kissed the top of her head. "We'll get through this. I'll accompany you. I'll be there on your side and whatever happens, we'll face it together."

Dahyun lifted herself to replace her head to lay it down on YN's shoulder and circle her arms around her waist.

YN pressed the side of her head against Dahyun's as the two proceeded to view the captivating nightsky beyond the sea without any more traces of worry about the obstacle they had to encounter soon.

- 2 DAYS LATER -

A not-so-tiring and stressful class schedule has just finished as usual. Dahyun is riding with YN on her motorcycle, holding onto her body like her life depends on it. Probably due to her not being too used to it as a medium of transportation.

They are on their way to Dahyun's address, with Dahyun instructing all the directions on where they'll take and the turn that will lead them to her house.

Their main agenda begins today. Dahyun will finally introduce YN to her parents, as per what they talked to each other days ago.

"There, the third house on the right. The one with the second level had lights on." Dahyun gave her final instruction after they crossed another street.

YN listened, slowing the speed of her motorcycle using the brake. It stopped just in front of Dahyun's residence.

They hopped out together on the seat. YN escorted her to take off the helmet on Dahyun's head and fix her hair.

Knowing what would happen tonight, they viewed the exterior of the house, where the two people they had in mind to confront with regards to their plan are just right there inside; unknown to what they're about to encounter.

"This is it, huh?" YN sighed and licked her lips. "You good, babe?"

"Yeah. We're already here. There's no turning back now. I just hope my expectations come true." Dahyun rubbed her forearm and stared at the gate in melancholy.

YN reached for her girlfriend and side-hugged her to show good luck and comfort. "They will. We must have to."

She looked at the doorbell displayed beside the gate. Turning her head, she looked at Dahyun to ponder a question. "You ready?"

Dahyun only nods. YN kissed her on the forehead one more time before she let Dahyun nervously press the button, sending an alarm to the inside of the house.

Opening the gate, she entered first, bringing YN with her as they locked hands from behind.

The door opened after they gathered the attention of the people inside the house. As it swung in full swing, Dahyun and YN saw a middle-aged lady with proper home attire standing in front of them.

"Hello, mom." Dahyun acknowledged the presence of her own beloved mother personally.

Mrs. Kim smiled sweetly at her only daughter and accepted Dahyun's willing hug. "Good evening, my little tofu. How's school?"

"Just an ordinary school day, as usual, Mom," Dahyun answered. Mrs. Kim nodded.

Behind her, a space was taken when her husband and Dahyun's own father, Mr. Kim stood behind his wife and hooked his arm around her. "Dad." "You came home safe," Mr. Kim commented as he hugged her daughter back. He lets go, just for him to notice that his wife was squinting her eyes, observing the young stranger standing with their daughter. "It seems that you brought a guest with us tonight." Mr. Kim reacted. "Who is this, Dubu?" Mrs. Kim pointed at YN. The two looked at each other, and YN gestured discreetly to Dahyun that it would be alright. "Uhm, good evening to both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim. The n-name's YN, I'm Dahyun's classmate in our university." YN bowed respectfully in front of the two.

Dahyun and YN looked at each other to compose theirselves. Giving theirselves a trustworthy nod, their hands slowly intertwined with one another.

Returning their gazes back at the married couple and wonderful parents of such a lovely, down to earth woman, the person who personifies those attributions courageously monitored the pair.

"And mom... dad, I would like you to meet YN here as something more."

"Mr. and Mrs. Kim, your daughter and I are in a relationship." YN proudly spills out her announcement to the parents. "Dahyun here is my girlfriend."

Their faces fell off into a mixture of seriousness and confusion. Furrowing her eyebrows, Mrs. Kim asked YN. "What did you just said?"

YN and Dahyun looked at each other, the concerned and frightened sight of Dahyun's face on what she's spotting to her parent's reaction is what makes YN's nervousness and worries increase.

"Did we hear it that clearly? Y-you two... are" Mr. Kin who is sporting that befuddled expression, inquired about the information they just learned.

"Yes, Dad. YN is my girlfriend. We've been together for 8 months and counting-"

"Dahyun. What is this?" Mrs. Kim interrupted her daughter to express her cluelessness about what is going on between them. "You're saying that she's not just your classmate nor a friend... but what? A girlfriend?" She said, with a glimpse of weirdness in her tone.

That's it. YN and Dahyun's hearts fell at that one particular obvious note that doesn't require any long or precise definition to do so. They got the answer to what they sought.

"Are you serious right now, Dahyun?" Mr. Kim mentioned her daughter without her nickname, another one for Dahyun to clearly tell that they are in a serious mode. "You're telling us, right here. On my property. In front of us, your parents who raised you what wanted you to become just to show us the opposite as what? That you're gay?"

"And what if she's gay, Mr. Kim? Does that off-"

"Silence, kid." Mr. Kim warned YN, daringly pointing his fingers at the defensive girlfriend. "Don't you dare speak to your elders without permission."

"Especially that you don't know us well. How disrespectful of you." Mrs. Kim scolded the young woman. "And what were you trying to say? That having our daughter to reveal that she's gay offends us? YES! It's not just like that. It's blasphemy! A shame to our family!"

"Dahyun, when did we ever tell you to be like this? This isn't how we teach you to grow up in the future." Mr. Kim asked Dahyun who is now bowing her head down in embarrassment and guilt.

"I-I'm sorry. Mom, Dad. I just wanted you two to know and understand that I love YN so much."

"And we want you to know that it's not right for both genders. To be exact, two women to engage in a romantic relationship or simply, to love each other. You know the words and so do we, Dahyun. That's what it says on the church and in the bible!"

"And yet, you brought her here, and for what? To say in our faces that you two are girlfriends, while knowing that it's against our beliefs?!" Mr. Kim grunted in frustration. "Aren't you both even ashamed of yourselves?!"

Dahyun is now crying beside YN, who quickly noticed the poor state of her partner as she consumed all the hatred they've got for their own undeserving actions. YN looks at Mr. and Mrs. Kim with poor and pleading eyes.

"Please, stop. We didn't mean to cause any disrespect or offense to both of you. We're simply loving each other and I am here with your daughter, desperately telling you two that we all just wanted both of your blessings for our relationship as we want our sides to support what we have for each other." YN persuades her partner's parents, who actually turned out to be one of the existing homophobes, while she eases the wailing Dahyun.

"It's too bad that we aren't alike on what we believe in when it comes to love. For me, we shouldn't dictate or choose for others on what we should love. Love is not just for men and women only and certainly, if that somebody makes you discover what is love, then you might as well go for it without anybody restricting you." YN said as she stood in her position to defend her and Dahyun as much as she could.

"Enough!" Mr. Kim stomped his foot aggressively on the floor, scaring Dahyun and intimidating YN in the process. "You don't lecture us as if you know better than we are. Twist it whatever you want, being gay is a sin to the heavens and to the gods above. You two are clearly disobeying the wise gospel of the Bible and as a father , I would not let that forgiven for what my daughter has done."

"I'm so disappointed, especially to you Dahyun. After all we've done to ensure that you'll live in a good, normal life, this is what you'll repay us?" Mrs. Kim shook her head disapprovingly.

"Go inside. Now. We'll deal with this privately."

YN looked at Dahyun concerningly. The latter nodded and tried her best to assure her lover that she will handle it.

"I'm sorry." Dahyun muttered before letting go from YN's grasp.

"You shouldn't be. Go on. Just remember that we're not done with this." She said as she wipes one more teardrop away from Dahyun's devastated demeanor.

"What are you whispering to my daughter? Leave, now! And don't you step here on our property ever again. Or better, stay away from my daughter." Mrs. Kim harshly gestures for YN to disappear.

"Don't make us be the ones to separate you two from each other. Stop this nonsense as soon as possible!" Mr. Kim offers a warning to YN before pulling Dahyun with them inside and slamming the door shut.

YN sighed heavily; her eyes became watery after enduring the pain and remaining calm and patient with all of their backlash against your identities.

She clutched her chest and stared at the door worriedly, wondering what Dahyun would go through with her parents' hurtful insults and lecturing.

"I'm sorry too, Dahyun. Just hold on tight, they'll accept us someday." She whispered to herself before she weakly returned to her motorcycle to go home after being rejected by Dahyun's unsupportive and discriminating parents due to the truth that you and Dahyun are in a lesbian relationship.

THE NEXT DAY

YN was sitting in one of the kiosks located on the far left of the engineering course building, awaiting the arrival of her girlfriend, whom she wanted to greet and check up on instantly after what happened to both of them last night.

Her eyes soon caught a trace of Dahyun entering the gate, with the security guard scanning her belongings first before she was given access to enter the grounds.

She abruptly moved her feet, intersecting in Dahyun's direction, and used herself to become the blockage on her path. Dahyun was taken aback at the sudden emergence of her girlfriend around her.

Both stood in their spots, and they shared the same sorrowful and pained look in their eyes when they looked at each other's faces.

"Dahyun." YN muttered her partner's name solemnly.

Without any further ado, Dahyun came towards YN and crushed themselves in a hug. YN felt the vibrations in her skin, created by the muffled sounds of Dahyun's cries, burying her face on her upper chest.

"I'm sorry."

"What did I tell you yesterday? It was nothing, Dahyunnie. At least we tried, right? And we were aware of them doing that to us. Don't take all the blame here," YN said, lowering her voice.

"Are you okay? Did they do something bad to you?"

"No. Even if they do, what they all said about you still hurts worse."

YN winced and twitched her lips in her words that struck directly in her heart.

"I couldn't think straight, YN. I didn't even get a proper sleep from having you on my mind while I'm being distracted by all these rude and cruel words they spat on you," Dahyun said, squeezing your arm. "I'm still in disbelief that they had that side, and I couldn't be more frustrated about it. They didn't care for your feelings, YN!"

"Yes, I do admit that it hurts a lot, but I have to be strong for us, Dahyun. I give you my word that I will do everything for us to retort them into the appropriate attitude they must have. I won't give up on us, okay?"

Dahyun hummed in response, signaling a similar desire as yours.

"Save your tears up and don't be sad now, babe, we still have a day to complete." YN kissed Dahyun on the cheek, which won her a slight smile of positivity in return for being relieved at least.

Days have passed, and they used them to recover and move on from their first attempt at convincing Dahyun's parents to accept their identity and their so-called forbidden relationship.

They still meet up outside, away from the vision and lack of knowledge by Dahyun's parents that their daughter couldn't stop herself from being attached to the only person she prefers to enjoy all these moments while storing this flaming love, almost making her think that nobody could ever do the same to her other than YN.

Same as what could be told to YN, she only wants and needs Dahyun in her life, no matter how many objections and judgments are thrown at them; she will never let her guard loose to express the love that fuels her whenever she has Dahyun with her.

Both are determined in their unconditional love; it looks like the opposing side has to do anything worse from time to time until they succeed in yielding either of them to their ridiculous principles.

One day, both Dahyun's parents hit the bullseye when they greeted their daughter, who had just gone home on a fake excuse.

Dahyun had to stay in the stairs and pause her steps as her eyes widened when her mother unveiled some news to her that easily had her irritated and surprised at the same time.

"You thought you would just sneak up to us thinking we wouldn't knew about this, don't you?" Mrs. Kim said as she presented a polaroid featuring a captured photo of Dahyun and YN hanging out on an arcade.

"M-mom?! What is this? Are you spying on us?!"

"We had someone to do it for us." Mr. Kim followed. Dahyun's dumbfounded look switched to him. "Haven't we told you enough that you should stop this joke between you and that disgusting gay associate of yours?!"

"Don't call her that! She's much better type of person that y-"

Dahyun didn't had to finish her words when she met an unexpected slap on behalf of her mother who didn't allow her daughter's over the limit outburst to her husband.

Stunned by the attack, Dahyun's terrified eyes wandered to the figure of her parents, who stared at her with smug faces. Probably, they are even thinking that Dahyun deserved the karma they perceive it to be.

"I've had enough of this nonsense and disrespect, Kim Dahyun! Listen to me, from now on. I dare you, if you ever set yourself close with that girl and continue to be stubborn. You don't have a home to stay anymore," Mrs. Kim said, furiously warning her daughter, who is now in shambles.

"Break up with her... or we will take everything we gave from you. That gay companion of yours... or your own parents. Make your choice before we do it ourselves."

Dahyun ran upstairs as she couldn't bear the heavy upset housing inside of her from her parents' unsupportive and rebellious policies for her wellbeing.

She slumped down on her bed before throwing all the pillows away from her room as a method of releasing her anger.

Dahyun stared at the ceiling while replaying all the words that her mother told her, especially the choice she had to make.

She loves YN ofcourse, but she does loves what she also have in her life aside from her too.

A proper education, balanced allowance, cozy house, a personal room.

She has what most of the youngsters like her to dream and wish on just to make theirselves or found out that they're are indeed in a good life.

Although her parents are now showing their new side that Dahyun is completely against with, that won't change the fact that they are her parents, the provider, the one who introduced her to this world.

Without them, she will never be standing where she is right now.

Now in the midst of turmoil, it was all come down to this two choices.

Deeply thinking about what would be her decision, Dahyun couldn't help but to be extremely stressed and agitated that she must have to face this instead of just simply being accepted not just by who she really is, but also to her relationship with YN.

Meanwhile, the married Kim couple watched as their daughter infuriately made her way to her room. Mr. Kim who became speechless from the slap given by his wife, cleared his throat and cupped Mrs. Kim's shoulder.

"Hon, you shouldn't have done that. Wasn't that a bit too far?" The father suppressed a slight concern for her daughter's emotional state.

Mrs. Kim shook her head and sighed. "No. That's just right. She must be disciplined. Our kid is growing up to be a troublesome."

She went back to the kitchen to prepare their dinner for tonight, leaving Mr. Kim to mentally contemplate her wife's actions.

THE NEXT DAY

In one of the tables placed inside a fancy restaurant, YN was there on her own reserved one, sitting and waiting patiently as she observed all the people minding their business to keep herself pleased and distracted by the time at least.

After many minutes of waiting, Dahyun has entered the restaurant and roamed her eyes around to find her girlfriend. She saw a hand raising and got it.

"Hi babe." YN stood up and kissed Dahyun on the cheek to welcome her beloved partner. She looks beautiful in her pearly white dress, which matches her flawless skin.

"Hi," she timidly replied, and she took the seat pulled by YN with an act of gentleness.

YN quickly sat and fixed her posture to prepare herself for yet another wonderful moment she'll be having to share with her girlfriend.

She wanted this to be a surprise date for Dahyun, which is why she picked this place for them.

"How are you doing, babe?" YN smiled while asking that. She couldn't contain the joy forming inside her.

"Fine."

That was very... short and cold coming from her. It helped YN to snap out of being indulged at this precious time when she's having to identify that there's something wrong with Dahyun.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Dahyun gave another thrifty response. "Why did you want us to be here? I won't be staying for long anyway."

YN furrowed her brows; that was new from her. Something is now telling her differently, upsetting her anxiety. "Wait, Dahyun, are you really okay? What do you mean about that?"

Her lowered head, frowned lips, slumped shoulders. That's the usual things that YN recognize whenever Dahyun isn't feeling well.

And all of it are evident in front of him simulteanously. She's beginning to not liking what's going on.

"I'm just here to talk to you about something."

"I-I'm listening." YN slapped his lap. "Just tell me please, I'll be here to h-"

YN was reaching Dahyun's free hand resting on the table when the latter pulled back, disheartening the lover.

"There's no need."

"Dahyun. What's going on?"

Dahyun bit her lips before lifting her eyes to match your troubled gaze. She would be lying if she didn't tell you that those looks pierced her heart. She didn't want to do this, but she has to. and she just wants YN to understand.

"YN, I think we should break up."

YN's eyes widened, her senses ruptured temporarily, and the whole world around him turned upside down.

Only the sounds and movements of her crumbling heart being smashed by the words formed like a sledgehammer that she didn't expect to be heard of Dahyun saying it to her were noticeable.

"I'm sorry, but we had to. That's all my purpose of coming here. Goodbye." Dahyun stood up from his seat, alerting YN, who was about to be left alone in this place. They were supposed to share a wholesome moment together, arguably the best one they would have.

YN clutched her pocket, where a small box containing a very memorable item was stored inside.

She stood up from her seat, speeding her footsteps to chase Dahyun who is also increasing the pace of her walk, obviously wanting to escape her confusion.

"Dahyun!"

YN crossed the street, moving next to the sideway where Dahyun is now meters away from her.

"DAHYUN!"

She decided to run this time. Her agility became a necessity for her to catch up her girlfriend seemingly ignoring how painful she had just done to her lover.

"D-DAHYUN! DAHYUN! HEY!"

YN dodged all the bypassers, taking all the available spaces to use it as her never ending way to finally reach her girlfriend. She touched and grabbed Dahyun's arm, rotating her around to make her face you.

"Let me go, YN!"

"I will if you tell me what was that for!" YN and Dahyun were both being brought on by their overflowing disastrous emotions.

"What did you just say? Y-you want us to end all of this? All that sudden?"

Dahyun still tried to break from YN's hold as she avoids her look but her strength is giving up also to her decrease of composure.

"Look at me." YN cupped Dahyun's face. "What happened? What did they do to make you say that? Huh? I know you didn't do it volunta-"

"They just... h-helped me to realize something."

"Realize WHAT?!"

"That even if I stayed with you, I will still lose everything!" Dahyun screamed in return. YN was befuddled at Dahyun's reasons. She doesn't get what she's referring to. How can them being together would cost Dahyun whatever she has in her life currently?

Unless...

"Dahyun, no. Don't say that. They threatened you, I know it. I see it on you! You can't just fool me with that excuse, we both know that not the only time they tried to tear us apart!"

Dahyun bowed her head as pair of rivers were now visible on her face, staining her cheeks wet from the burden she's carrying placed by her parents through this situation.

"J-just let me go, YN. Please, I'm doing this for us."

"So you think that breaking up with me would solve everything?"

"YES! And you know that all too well, YN. We can't have this any longer, don't you see that these aren't leading us anywhere for the better? Why don't you try to wake up and that we're just hopeless after all?!"

YN scoffed, astounded by the words chosen by Dahyun. She just couldn't believe it that it's the same person she didn't mind at all that will display that kind of negativity who's letting out those unpleasant words he's hearing right now.

This Dahyun she's encountering was successfully blindsided and manipulated by the prejudice and homophobic beliefs of her religious parents.

It felt like she was defeated. She lost the battle. She wasn't able to save her Dahyun from all of these selfish views.

"So that's it?" YN's lips shuddered, and the first teardrop released in her eyes. "You don't love me anymore? What have they done to you? W-what happened to us, I-I thought we were going to solve this together?"

"Have you already given up, Dahyun? Because I haven't... and I would never. Am I the only one anymore who's still holding on for us? "

Dahyun disregarded the disguise she's wearing the entire time, unable to resist your distraught appearance making her feel incredibly guilty and saddened.

She cupped your face this time while holding your arm for support. Wiping the trail of wetness on your cheek, she glanced at you apologetically.

"It's not easy, YN. I didn't want to do it. Ofcourse, I would prefer you to stay with me or run away with you but I have no other choice, YN. This is a sacrifice I'm making here. I can't lose either you or my life."

"Your l-life? What does it have to do with this?" YN asked puzzledly.

"M-my parents... they'll scrap everything they gave to me if I remain linked to you. It's not that I'm siding with them, but please I want you to understand what I'm doing here, YN. I can't let them do something to you."

YN's breath hitched, heart pounding in pain as she learnt that.

"W-why are they doing this to us? Couldn't they just be happy for what we are?"

Dahyun nodded as she sobbed. Removing her hands from covering her mouth, she holds YN's hands and patted it.

"I'm really sorry. You know I want you too and it's not a secret I try to hide, but the more we progress... with all what's happening to us because of me, that's where I could point out that I couldn't have you."

YN looked at their stacked hands in agony. She removes her touch from Dahyun, only to pul out something in her pocket.

The small special box she's been hiding since she entered the restaurant.

Spreading her hands, she placed the box on the palm of Dahyun. "What's this?"

"Open it."

She did, revealing two shining necklaces with a design of two sparkling stars, earning a gasp from Dahyun.

"Today was supposed to be our date. A surprise one... including that." YN said as they both admired the glittering jewelry. "Consider it as my promise gift."

Dahyun looked at YN.

"At first, I want these to give it to you as it holds our promise that we will never separate no matter what happens. But here you are, claiming that it wasn't dictated in our story for us to have a happy ending, telling me that your fate is pulling you miles apart and out of reach from me."

YN spilled the necklace in her hands and took one of the necklaces and wore it around her neck. She looked at the pendant and picked it up.

Dahyun was awestruck at how perfect it looked on you.

"So, what if... we'll just rewrite the stars among us? Now, as long as I am wearing this while I have you in my heart, no one can stop from deciding that you're my destiny, Dahyun... and we are meant to find each other again."

YN removed the other necklace in the box before stuffing it back into her pocket, she wore it around Dahyun's neck; a smile plastered in her lips at how it fits exceptionally well on her.

"Wear it always for me, please." YN sent her last wish to Dahyun.

They kissed, lips brushing and tongues danced in rhythm to how they savored the pleasure.

After they kissed, Dahyun leaned her forehead to YN's, both were breathing heavily at the intensity of their exchange of intimacy.

Dahyun gulped her courage to say this, she swayed some hair behind YN's ear and stared intently on her captivating features one last time before they part ways.

"It just feels too impossible, YN. How can we say what we'll get to be if everything that surrounds us keeps us apart?"

YN lowered her head and cried harder at Dahyun's touch than earlier. "Don't you see that we're hopeless after all? As long as my hands are tied, we're bound to break and won't last longer like we want."

"I love you too, YN... but I would be very happy for you to try again with somebody out there who deserves you much as I do."

In an accurate timing to their mood, the clouds that were forming darkly above the skies finally dragged heavy rainfall to the entire area of Cheongsan.

YN was left there on her spot, standing alone in the middle of the rain as she had to watch the disappearing sight of Dahyun from the distance walking away from her.

Before they wouldn't be seeing one another for how long it would take them to reconcile and assumingly start all over again, YN took the opportunity to shout at the departing Dahyun about something.

"DAHYUN! Say whatever you want for me to move on, but I won't give up on us. I'll prove it to you someday! When I come back and we meet again, we will change the world to be ours!"

Dahyun who was about to remove the necklace wrapped around her neck, heard that loud, determined statement by YN. Thankfully, the ears falling down in her eyes were being washed away from being showered in rain; the impressed smile that formed weren't going to be ruined nonetheless.

6 YEARS LATER

Recently graduated with her degree and closing her college life to enter a new chapter in her life, Dahyun was offered to become a new professor in Science, Technology and Society subject by the head administrator; which she gratefully accepted, fulfilling her dreams of becoming a mentor and instructor to the future generation of students.

One of her classes scheduled for today in the morning was cancelled due to the unexpected news she received from the household that her father was sent to the hospital once again, complaining about the stomachache he's been enduring for weeks.

Fortunately, the higher campus facilitators allowed Dahyun to be excused to visit and guide her father, who is now confined in their neighborhood's nearest hospital.

It lasted for 3 days, her father was still getting treatments and operations to aid his illness, which was revealed to be a slightly worsened ulcer based on the check-up.

The nurses were informing them about the total amount of money they had to sped for the recovery of her father,  despite their average wealth status, Dahyun and mother couldn't avoid but to be shocked still at how expensive the costs were.

One day, Dahyun was about to pay the bills when the nurse told her something that is mind boggling.

"Maam, you're already paid."

"Wait, what?"

The nurse on the desk flipped her monitor to let Dahyun witness the evidence.

"But how did that happen? I-I didn't even came here few days ago?"

"Uhm, maam actually... there's someone who came here and told that the money should go to your record."

Dahyun scratched her nape and stroked the side of her hair. "There's somebody w-who paid all the e-expenses?"

"Yes, maam."

"Can I get whoever that person's name is?"

"I'm sorry, but that one requested for me not to reveal the identity." The nurse pouted and shook her head.

"A-alright. It's fine. Thank you for that."

Dahyun returned to her father's room in utter confusion. "Mom." She called her mother who is busy peeling off some fruits.

"Did you pay our hospital bills?"

"No? Why would I even instruct you to give the money to the-"

"Is it just you couldn't remember?" Dahyun lifted her one brow up.

"I swear, Dahyun. I didn't do it. What's with you ask that anyway?"

"Sorry, it's just... some nobody paid the bills for us."

"WHAT?" Dahyun's mother dropped the knif to the table and stood upright in astonishment. "That's a whole lot of money. Who would ever do that?!

"It looks like whoever did that must be so rich and kind." Dahyun muttered, looking at her mother and her resting father on the bed curiously as she roamed around the room wondering who could be responsible for this.

She literally wants to meet that person and show her huge appreciation and gratitude.

A week has passed, and her father is now regaining his energy after such a successful surgery to heal his damaged organ. The nurse was strolling Mr. Kim in a wheelchair outside of the hospital as they headed onto the car parked alongside the rest that belonged to the other visitors.

"We should go home now so you can take as much rest as you want, Dad." Dahyun said before hugging her father from behind, bending her body to reach the upper half of his body.

Unbeknownst to the relieved and happy family, someone is focused on watching them entertainingly from inside the hospital; not too far on the doors, just beside the reception area.

She was observing them well until it was interrupted by a personal manager calling her name for attention. She turned around, and the two conversed shortly.

"It was nice meeting you again, Dr. LN. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to gain inspiration from how you conduct a presentation to the webinar. I'm still blown away with how you presented all the datas smoothly and precisely. It really looks like you are having a fun stay here."

"Thanks, Dr. Lee. It was a pleasure meeting you too. I am indeed enjoying my stay here knowing I could save and take care of many lives of patients as much as I can. And I don't mind, honestly. It would be a great honor actually."

The two professionals in the same field bowed with respect to each other before Dr. Lee and his assistant left.

As she was about to return her attention to where she's watching, her eyes widened, as if breaking a fourth wall had just occurred and shocked her plainly.

Dahyun was looking directly at her also as she froze in her spot.

She had been finally caught, so might as well surrender then.

The newly licensed psychiatrist Dr. YN LN walked out of the hospital, slowly narrowing her gap with Dahyun until they were inches apart.

The shot of their side profile staring at each other with a visible longing and delight in their faces.

YN smiled at Dahyun. "I told you, we'll meet each other again. There you are, you found me too."

"Y-YN..."

"Yeah. Long time no see, Dahyun."

Dahyun was flabbergasted as she traced the appearance of YN. She almost feels like she never recognize or met this person standing in front of her. "O-oh my god... y-you're here."

She noticed the garment coating around YN's body. "W-wait, you're a doctor?"

"Psychiatrist, to be exact... and I'm not actually based in this hospital. I'm on Busan, but some of us were gathered to be switched places for evaluation. Some of us might be transferred here officially if the results were impressive." YN clarified. "And oh, that reminded me... did you like my help?"

Dahyun remained silent for a while before her face expanded and her eyebrows floated when she understood what YN is referring to.

"T-that's you?!"

YN nodded. "Expensive, I know. But if you have a successful job that pays a damn high salary, it's no biggie."

"What about you? How did you go through all these years?"

"I'm became a professor in our alma mater."

YN hummed and nodded. "Oh wow. Great for you."

"Yeah."

The two grinned before Dahyun couldn't take it anymore, she enveloped YN into a tight embrace.

"I missed you so much, Dahyun."

"Me too. I admit I wasn't used not seeing you around in year not until you showed up today."

"I said that I'll come back for you, right?" YN stroked her hair from behind.

"And you did... I knew that you would be."

They separated from the hug. YN detected something that sent an immediate adrenaline rush of joy through her soul. "You kept it."

Dahyun held the golden star necklace laid in her chest. "I knew you would come back, so I waited for you. I heard what you shouted to me 6 years ago. Everyday I never went to search for anybody to love aside from you, because I still have you inside my heart just like you are."

YN's tears fell, as did Dahyun at how touched they were by their reunion. Everything is meant to happen, and their fate would always lead them back together how many turns and spins they took in this world.

Some people crossed paths to fall in love with each other, but not all of them were meant to last; yet YN and Dahyun are exempted for that matter. For them, it was all nothing but a full circle for their own story, which they've created altogether.

The door of the car opened, Mrs. Kim exits and interrupted the moment between her daughter and the person she used to hate and dislike for the sake of Dahyun.

"M-mom." Dahyun nervously said as she stepped back, her hand tightening around YN's as both felt fear at the sight of the person who highly objected to their relationship.

Mrs. Kim just ignored her daughter and stepped closer. The pair is now facing her, as she observes them carefully, squinting her eyes.

"You know...

... how dumb of me not to realize early that you two do look really great together."

YN and Dahyun was shocked at Mrs. Kim's comment.

The mother reached for YN's tender and stable hands, she looked at the woman she owned a lot of forgiveness for the harsh treatment she has done.

"So it's you who paid all of our my husband's hospital bills." Mrs. Kim said to YN. She was actually listening to the two's entire conversation earlier through the slightly lowered window.

"Y-yes, maam." YN shyly said.

"I would like to say that I truly appreciate your generous help, YN. Despite we didn't even asked for it, you did it... but, why?"

YN glanced at Mrs. Kim's confused look. "After what my husband and I had done for you, why did you still helped us?"

"I don't know." YN shook her head and shrugged. "One thing's for certain, I don't want Dahyun to get hurt by seeing her father suffering."

Mrs. Kim understood, confirming that this woman indeed cares a lot for her daughter, and she couldn't be happier more than that. "I'm sorry for everything we've said to you, YN. We exhibited homophobic views to both of you and Dahyun. My husband and I belittled you, despised you, discriminated you for not being straight as we thought we believed that it was better, but no. Instead, we became ignorant, biased and careless of how our words would affect your wellbeing as a part of the gay community."

YN couldn't contain the overflowing happiness inside of her as she cried while Mrs. Kim tries to comfort her by massaging her trembling hands. "M-Mrs... Kim..."

It was simply surreal of her to witness her lover's parents finally acknowledging and held accountable of their mistake. They had a moment of vulnerability, realizing that love should never be restricted from societal norms.

"We should've been more informative, understanding and educated about it. We chose to judge you just because of your sexuality. We realized that are committing more sinful deeds and it's a shame to our part. We're so sorry, YN. I don't beg for your forgiveness, but I hope you can tell that we are very sincere of saying this to you that we've been too occupied, blinded and misled with our religious beliefs and views, and we would really glad for you to give us a chance to change."

Mrs. Kim was about to kneel on the floor when YN forcefully pulled her back up. "N-no, no Mrs. Kim you don't need to do that!"

"I forgive you and Mr. Kim. That's enough for me to be contented and satisfied that you and him knows where you went wrong, and I hope this would be the start of us to set aside that in peace and let me-"

"Y-yes. We'll forget about that. From now on, you're now part of our family... and we want to invite you for us to get to know you more for our daughter here."

Mrs. Kim and YN hugged for the first time, making the doctor emotional. Dahyun was in awe. She was so surprised at this improved, positive and supportive her mother has turned to be as what she always wanted for a long time.

"Are you s-serious, mom?!"

Mrs. Kim nodded. "I give you two my blessings for your relationship. My dad would agree as well too, right hon?"

She gestured a thumbs up to her husband who is inside the car, sitting in the passengers seat watching them in the window with a proud smile. The latter gave his wife a thumbs up in return.

All three of them laughed. Silence ensued as they sink in everything that just happened.

"Well what are you two waiting for? Go ahead and do whatever you want, we'll wait inside the car Dahyun-nie." Mrs. Kim chuckled.

"Oh y-yes, mom!"

Before her mother was about to open the door, Dahyun hurriedly hugged her mother. "Thank you so much, mom."

"You're welcome, my sweet Dubu. I'm sorry for the torment we've caused you both."

Dahyun nodded and pecked her mother's cheek. "Like YN said, I forgive you and dad too. It's never too late to change, and I'm happy that you two quit on being disrespectful and offensive to one's sexuality."

Mrs. Kim smiled and rode the car. "Say goodbye to YN, I know she has to return back to her shift."

Dahyun closed the door and walked back on YN who is standing confidently. "Now the world is in favor of us now, Dahyun. I told you I would never give up on us and  when I come back, I would make it all possible.

"And I knew you could it do it all along, babe." Dahyun smirked and pinched YN's tip of the nose.

"I love you, Dahyun. I won't let anything that will make me lose you this time."

"I love you too, YN."

After the exchange of wholehearted words, Dahyun and YN embraced their unconditional, romantic relationship full of triumph, pride and equality with another kiss as it adds to the wonderful things they possess in the new chapter of their love story together where they overcome the barriers and bridge their gap to be in each other's arms again.

[fangirleaconmigo]

Do you think it's bad for a cis woman to read gay smut fanfictions or the opposite, as it's not really about exploring the reader's own sexuality?

Hi Anon,

I know this question is controversial in fandom, and liking peace and quiet as much as I do (and disliking Discourse as much as I do), it would be much smarter for me to just delete your ask.

However, I have some extremely strong feelings about this, so I’m going to dive in and hope for the best in how it is received. (famous last words) It is going to be long, because I do think it warrants careful thought. The question of shame, fetishization, and homophobia is an important one, so I will address that. This may be a lot more than you wanted, but asking me any questions about morality is going to open up a huge ol can of worms. I am a wordy bitch. So here we go.

Firstly you ask, is it ‘bad’. To explain my own personal system of morality, my measurement for whether something is bad always boils down to, does it hurt people or does it help people? And when the thing we’re judging is a personal action someone has taken, I ask myself, is this person making a choice for themselves (as is their right to do) or are they making a choice for other people?

Obviously this can get very complex. I studied political philosophy in college, so I know that when you are in the fuzzy areas, you can debate these things until the end of time. People are still arguing over moral ideas put forward centuries ago. BUT that is the basis, the starting point for my own system of morals.

So. Does reading fiction in private, or being horny harm others or even affect others? No. Obviously not. Does it help anyone? Yes! It helps the person reading it! People really really really underestimate how much pleasure, a release, a bit of serotonin, can turn your mood and therefore your mental health around. I’m all for profound emotional shit, but let’s not overlook the fundamental role simple things like pleasure, fun, play, and release make in our quality of life and mental health. Eat a cookie! Smell a flower! Laugh! Orgasm! It’s all the good brain chemicals, folks.

That’s even setting aside (for the moment) the more profound ways reading smut can help you with your own trauma, shame, or general desire to explore your sexuality. It’s also even setting aside the way that smut fics often also have strong emotional elements of love, connection, learning to trust, and healing from trauma. I am setting that aside because even though it is true, it is not necessary to my argument.

So, it doesn’t hurt anyone (I will get to the fetishization question, bear with me.) And it is usually great for you. Or not! You’re a human being. You get to decide what is best for you.

Further, asking “should a woman with X gender identity and X sexuality be reading gay smut of two men” requires a few things. It implies that I am going to pass moral judgement on someone for what fiction they read, and base that judgment on their gender identity and sexuality. So, it requires me to know what that gender identity and sexuality is. Then, it requires me to say...you should or should not be reading that.

So my first issue with that is that I always reject efforts to police, restrict, or gatekeep art. Yes, even horny art is art. Even art created to provoke a sexual response, which many people (often very religious people, but also a subset of online fandom activists) consider a “lower” or “base” function of the human experience, IS art. (I don’t believe the human experience can be dissected in that way, but that is neither here nor there.)

Just as importantly, I viscerally recoil from any effort to police people’s gender or sexuality to see if they are allowed to read (or are just shamed for reading) certain material. Just. Whooooeeee, no thank you. Dear god, no.

Setting aside the fact that people’s sexuality and gender evolve, and they may not even know how to label themselves, this mentality, this sort of approach, often requires people to ‘out’ themselves. It demands that they publicly disclose their own sexual and gender identities in order to enjoy fiction in peace. It is, and I cannot stress this enough, toxic, abusive, and always damages queer people far more than anyone else. It is the exact opposite of queer liberation. Please look up Isabel Fall. There is an article on Vox that thoroughly walks you through one example of people shaming someone and demanding their identity, sending a trans woman into the hospital, and back into the closet.

Cishet white men literally do not give a fuck what you think about what they read. It is always and I mean ALWAYS LGBTQ people that suffer under the policing and forced outing of sexuality and gender. It also stinks of fascism.

I hear people saying “we aren’t burning books, it’s not censoring, relax.” What if we aren’t actively restricting material? What if we just judge, stigmatize, and shame in order to bully straight people into changing their reading habits? Isn’t that ok?

And what kind of disaster would we call upon ourselves if we don’t force anyone to out themselves? I mean, if you just ‘let’ lgbtq people do what they want without disclosing, you could get a bunch of straight cis women slipping through! They could just be out there! In their homes! On their devices! Being horny for fun!!!

I’m completely fine with that.

I am aware that the conversation happening in fandom spaces is whether it’s inherently fetishizing for women to think two men together in fiction is hot, and whether the smut is the cause of a tendency to fetishize gay men. Since I care a whole lot about fighting homophobia, I’ll take that seriously and address that.

People always use the example of “but how is this different from men lusting after lesbians? Don’t women hate it when men fetishize lesbians? How is this different?” That is always the question. “What if the genders were reversed?”

So I am going to start there.

As a gay woman, I can tell you, what a man beats it to in private is his business. I could not be less interested in the details of that. It doesn’t affect or harm me. It is literally none of my business.

What harms me is when a man mistreats gay women. When he thinks he can ‘convert’ a woman, says that she hasn’t had the right dick yet, or asks gay women to perform for him.

And I can say with confidence that men reading explicit material about two women has zero to do with this.

(People often bring porn into this, but bringing real human beings performing sex into the equation would require a broader ethical conversation and you asked about smutty fiction, so I’ll keep it focused on that.)

So, to really drive this point home, we need to separate two concepts out.

Sexual attraction vs dehumanization.

Sexual attraction is being hot for someone. It is morally neutral before you have acted on it in a way that involves another human being.

Dehumanization is seeing someone as less than human in some way. Dehumanization is when people believe they have the right to touch, harm, or even kill another person. It makes people believe that another human doesn’t doesn’t need or deserve to decide what happens to their own body. Dehumanizing is how you get young army recruits to kill complete strangers. Dehumanization facilitates bigotry. It shuffles sexual assault under the rug. It devalues life.

Misogyny is a form of dehumanization. It is a form of violence. It is what causes men to feel entitled to demand sexual favors from a woman, and to disregard her sexuality and autonomy. It is not sexual attraction. It is misogyny.

And you do not “get” or “catch” misogyny from smutty fiction.

When men are still boys, before they even pick up a device or a book, they are taught to see women as commodities. They are taught by their parents, their pastors, even CHILDREN’S MEDIA that sexual harassment is comedic, stalking is romantic, and women are prizes to be won. That if they achieve certain milestones required of men, they are entitled to a ‘prize’ of the woman they desire.

Misogyny is systemic. It is everywhere. It’s in the water, the air of our society, no matter where you live. It is global. The thing that makes men walk up to women and demand their bodies is one thing: sheer, mind boggling, entitlement. Audacity. Gall. Fucking nerve. Insidious misogyny.

I know this sounds dramatic to people who don’t experience it. But think about it. Every time someone tells a girl that she is ‘mean’ for not responding to a ‘nice’ guy's advances they are saying...you are a commodity to bestow on someone as a reward. You are not someone who gets to just simply have preferences. That is for ‘real’ human beings. This kind of mentality, in the mind of a violent angry person, is quite literally why men kill women for breaking up with them.

(I know that men, and people of all genders, suffer abuse and violence against them. I am not denying that, I am just having a conversation focused for the moment on violence against women.)

NOW, the constant violence against women in this context (and you may not experience it, but please look at the numbers for rape and domestic violence and other gendered violence) has made people CONFLATE men’s sexual desires with predation.

That is how you get people who profess to be leftists and care about oppressed peoples treating the ENTIRE CONCEPT of men’s attraction to women as predatory and therefore stigmatizing and demonizing the entire concept of sex and men's sexuality. I’ve heard people talk about leftist puritans online and I think a lot of stems from a misguided reaction to a society that allows sexual predation to become rife. No, darlings, no.

The problem isn’t men or their sexuality. The problem is misogyny.

If we are to have even a prayer of a healthy, kind society, we need to separate those two things out. Get a crowbar. Pull them apart. Don’t allow the patriarchy to poison you against something that is an important, fundamental part of who we all are! There is nothing dangerous or shameful or predatory about men being sexually attracted to women.

If men think women are hot as fuck? If they want to read about or think about hot gay ladies together in order to get off? Shit, me too, man!!! ME FREAKING TOO.

We can apply this to the concept of women fetishizing gay men. When we talk about women fetishizing gay men, we are talking about women who ask creepy intrusive questions. Who call gay men demeaning pet names against their wishes. Who touch them without their consent. Who go to gay clubs just to treat it like their own personal entertainment and make everyone feel uncomfortable and on display. These are women who don't give a shit about the personal boundaries or comfort or well being of gay men.

This behavior is revolting. But the root of that behavior isn’t lust. It is homophobia. Homophobia isn’t just ‘I hate gay people’ or ‘I want to beat up gay people’ or ‘I think they shouldn’t get married'. It is also, ‘gay peoples’ sexuality isn’t real or important, and it just exists to entertain me or get me off.’

Again, we are taught homophobia from the cradle in a thousand different insidious ways. People have their homophobia deeply rooted far before they even find out what AO3 is, my friends. Homophobia is a violence. It is evil. It is systemic.

And we cannot combat it without NAMING it. Without UNDERSTANDING IT. Bigotry is baked into our society (whichever one you live in). You have to learn to IDENTIFY IT to COMBAT IT.

And to do that, I am begging people, BEGGING THEM, my god I am on my knees people, (cue Boyz II Men, down on bended knee) to learn the difference between sex and violence. Between attraction and assault. We don’t have a prayer of eliminating bigotry or the shame and stigma around sex until we do that.

Because the stigma and shame we attach to our bodies and to sexual desire (or lack of sexual desire, ace people are valid, all level of sexual desire is valid) are pernicious, violent, and toxic to our self worth and to our very spirits.

This goes back to the question I asked earlier. If we aren’t forced outing people or actively censoring material, isn’t a little shame and bullying ok just to keep the straights on their toes?

It really is not.

Please take it from me, a person with a metric fuckton of experience working through PTSD, depression, anxiety disorder, and dissociative symptoms, most of it due to sexual abuse as a child, that shame about your body and your natural desires (or, again, lack of) is what keeps their boot on your neck. It is what keeps you from healing. It makes you live a half life. It steals joy and health and peace from you. It is the enemy of the human spirit.

My god! There is nothing wrong with experiencing sexual desire for fictional characters or scenarios! There's nothing wrong with being horny in your own house! Lol Just imagine the damage that kind of shame and stigma does to people!

I was raised by fundamentalist Baptist right wingers. They tried to teach me the same thing. That the natural things my body did were shameful and disgusting outside the bounds of a marriage to a Christian man. It turned out all that did was make me a perfect target for predators because no matter what happened I would always feel at fault.

Besides all the abuse, I was also told point blank by my father and my pastors that gay people are all sexual predators, child molesters, and deserve to be executed. You may not see much of this attitude anymore in public spaces like twitter or tumblr. But it is still very very common all over the world. In fact, it is more common than not. And I internalized that to the point that even as a grown woman I am not whole. I still have work to do to get rid of the shame I have around my own sexuality. But I will get there!

And reading sexy fiction online (along with a metric fuckton of therapy, self help books, meditation, several inpatient hospitalizations, and, well, you get the picture, I’ve done a lot of stuff) helped me work through some of the damage that did to me.

So….thanks, sexy fic writers! (I’m going to talk to the sexy fic writers for a second) You cannot know how much you have helped me! Even all the fics that are ‘just’ pwp or ‘just kink’. You cannot know! It has been a process of shedding shame and being able to face up to who I am after having a whole bunch of self loathing dumped into my brain while it was still mushy and forming.

And reading sexy fic that doesn’t contain any representations of my own body has been really, really important to ease into learning to accept myself, because it offers me a space that will not trigger any hatred or shame I have attached to my own body. That is how it has helped me.

But it doesn’t have to ‘help people’. It can just be fun.

So, when women enjoy smut of two men, and people point and say “Look! Look! Those women aren’t gay. They’re just...(gasp, choke) attracted to men!!! And therefore!!! They like two men together!!!” as though it is just a fucking S C A N D A L. I just. It’s hilarious. Most people are horny, and GOD FORBID, some of them like men! (MEN?? NOOOOO, NOT M E N) Let me notify the church real quick. Let me clutch my pearls. Light some flares. Call the red phone. Turn on the bat signal. Help, Batman, help.

So, dear anon, I don’t know why you asked the question. I don’t know whether you believe it is bad, or whether someone has told you it is bad and therefor you feel bad about yourself, but my answer for you and women of any sexual or gender identity who love gay smut, I promise that you are not inherently bad.

Certainly, if people are like ‘I don’t trust women who only ship men’ or if they have critique about the way fics are written, that is their right. You must respect their feelings and their decisions about what they read and who they associate with. They have the right to feel however they want, and read whatever they want. Being a person is complex, and we all have our own perspectives.

But as for you? Being inherently bad? No, no, no.

And as for gay men, I can guarantee you that the absolute last people on planet earth to be horrified by an attraction to men, are gay men.

Just don’t treat real people like they exist to be your little pet or that their queerness exists to fucking entertain or serve you.

Just don’t confuse fiction and reality. That should be easy enough. One is words on a page. The others are living, breathing, human beings.

[milevenappreciationweek]

MILEVEN WEEK 2022 💛 — We’re back! From the 6th until the 12th of November 2022, join us in celebrating all things Mike & Eleven with a special week dedicated solely to them.

Things are operating a little bit differently this year. Instead of you guys submitting themes for us to choose from, we asked you to vote among those we selected. We know - very upside down of us! But the good news is, they’re one-word prompts, which means there’s enough wiggle room for you to get creative and interpret them however you please! In the spirit of mixing things up, your choice themes for this year’s appreciation week, in no particular order, are:

Day 1: Color - usage and significance, their favorite colors...

Day 2: Stories - favorite plotlines, reading to each other, future fics...

Day 3: AU - any alternative take on their relationship (canon compliant or totally unique, ie. teen comedy au)

Day 4: Holidays - spending the holidays together, dressing up, dates...

Day 5: Power - strength, magic, love, fate…

Day 6: Tropes - “one head taller,” “you must be cold,” “long-distance relationship,” popular fanfiction tropes…

Day 7: Words - canon quotes, meaningful words in their relationship, the exchange of letters…

Above are just some examples of how you can fill the prompts, but don’t hesitate to ask us if you need help and/or have any further questions as to what is/isn’t allowed. We encourage you to submit any and all types of fanwork: fanfiction, gifsets, fanart, video edits, picspams, essays, headcanons, etc. Some themes will naturally be more heavily concentrated on specific types of media (e.g., stories = fanfiction). Don’t worry if you’re not the creative type - sharing others’ work is an equally great way of contributing. We’re not expecting everybody to submit works for every day of the week either - if one of the themes doesn’t pique your interest, no worries. Just create whatever inspires you!

You can publish your posts on the day that corresponds to their theme, but don’t worry if you don’t make it in time - you can still submit them even after that day has passed! We will be tracking the #mileven #milevenweek and #milevenweek2022 hashtags once the event starts on November 6th, so make sure to tag your posts accordingly so one of the admins can share it here. It also helps us immensely if you can include somewhere in the post or tags which day/theme your post is meant for (so we don’t to have to guess). Alternatively, you can also send us a link to your creation if it’s outside of Tumblr (twitter, insta, etc). 

Now we’re leaving it up to you to get started! Feel free to like, reblog, and share this post to let others know what’s happening. If you have any questions about how this is all going to work, or be sure to contact the admins.

We can't wait to see what you come up with! 💜

[singsweetmelodies]

Piarles Winter Fic Exchange

Hello fellow Piarlies 💙 Thank you so much for your interest in the idea of a winter fic exchange for our French and French-adjacent boys. All arrangements, sign-up details and explanations for the exchange can be found beneath the cut!

How does the exchange work?

The idea behind it is simple enough: at the time of posting, we only have two races left before F1 concludes for the year. We're going to miss our boys, and so we thought it would be cool if we could inspire a flood of Piarles-flavoured content to lift our spirits and make us miss F1 a little less over the break. And we thought that a gift exchange would be a fun way to do that, because, well, who doesn't love a present? Especially if that present is a fanfiction written just for you.

So how this works is: you sign up, submit your prompts for what you'd like to read in a gift fic, and then after sign-ups close, we'll assign you a partner to write for. Someone else will have been assigned to write for you, so on the due date, you'll post a gift fic and receive a gift fic of your own. 🎁

When are the deadlines and due dates?

Sign-ups are open as of now, and will remain open until the 16th of November 2022. After that point, we will close sign-ups and collect everyone's prompts.

Assignments will be sent out by the 21st of November (AKA, the day right after the final F1 race on the 2022 calendar.) You will then have the rest of November and all of December to work on your gift fics.

Gift fics are due to be posted on the 10th of January 2023, though we do want this to be a fun and no-real-pressure exchange for everyone, so if we notice that people are struggling to finish in time for the deadline, we can simply shift it up by a week. We can do this as many times as necessary for everyone to finish comfortably and produce a fic you know your giftee will enjoy. 💙

What are the posting instructions for the gift fics?

There aren't a whole lot of really specific or strict rules in this exchange, but the two we would like people to take note of are the following:

This is a Piarles fic exchange, so the main focus of your fanfiction should be the romantic relationship between Pierre Gasly and Charles Leclerc. Background pairings are allowed as long as the primary focus of your fic is still the dynamic between Charles and Pierre. (There will be a space in the sign-up form to indicate which background pairings you do and don't like. Please note, however, that there is no requirement to write any background pairings if you don't want to.)

The minimum word count for this exchange is 2k (2000) words. There is no cut-off or maximum word count, but we do ask that you try and write a one-shot instead of a multi-chapter if at all possible (unless you are very confident that you will be able to finish the multi-chap.)

We will do a more detailed post with AO3 collection details and final deadline/timezone instructions closer to the actual deadline. ❄

Is this a fic-only exchange, or can we create art as well?

This is indeed a fic-focused exchange, so in order to participate, we do request that everyone creates a fic that meets the 2k minimum. If you're inspired to create art of any kind to go along with your fic, though, then you are more than welcome to do so! In fact, you'd be the MVP if you did. 🎁

How does prompting work in this exchange?

There will be a space in the sign-up form for you to submit two different prompts. Prompts can be anything from AU ideas (eg. coffee shop AU) to dialogue (eg. "Shut up" // "Make me") to tropes or themes (eg. enemies to lovers). Anything goes, pretty much! Our only request is that you submit two completely different prompts - this is just to give your gift writer options.

As a gift writer, you can write either of the two prompts, or even go for some sort of creative combination of them both. It's completely up to you!

There will be a space where you can provide an explicit/smutty prompt if you want, but please note that your gift writer is not required to include any explicit content in their fic unless they're comfortable with doing so. 💙

What if I get prompts I really can't write?

Not to worry - if you really don't vibe with any of the prompts you have been given, you can get in touch with one of the mods and we will reach out to your giftee to provide an additional prompt or two. If things are still not working, we might reach out to someone else and have you swap giftees entirely. We want everyone to have a great time in this exchange, both in the writing and receiving parts of it!

We understand that sometimes life gets in the way, though, and you might not be able to fulfill your prompts for other reasons. We hope it doesn't happen, but if you need to drop out of the exchange for any reason, please just let one of our mods know so we can arrange a pinch-hitter to step in and write your giftee's fic in your place. ❄

Who are the mods for this exchange?

We have the wonderful team of @singsweetmelodies, @redyellowstupid, @dm3rv, and @welightitup running things for this exchange! 💙

Where and how do I sign up?

All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and then if you have a Discord account, you can join us in the exchange server (please send @singsweetmelodies​​ a message for the invite link)

@ Pierre/Charles shippers across Tumblr and AO3: we hope that this exchange will make you all smile over the winter break! We are so excited to share this with you all 🎁

[sapphic-lovegood]

Salvation in the form of your grace…

Poly!Rafe Cameron x (Fem)Reader x Barry

As Rafe allows himself to continue to be brainwashed by his father, his slowly leaves behind the two people who truly love him more than anyone.

Warnings: mentions of abuse, emotional manipulation, drug and alcohol use, cursing, violence, homophobia, (light)dom/sub dynamic, smut

A/N: I will die on my Rarry hill so let me have this, also please be nice because some of the things written in are from personal experience so don’t freak out thinking I added it for shock value. Fanfiction is how I cope.

Bold Italics=flashbacks

Italics=lyrics

Word Count: 3906

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes

The trio was indeed an odd group. No one was quite sure what to make of it, but they didn’t question. Simply out of fear of the two men constantly by her sides.

It all started with a drunken blur of a night. Rafe was high and upset and he found himself at Barry’s trailer.

Rafe pounded his fist against the door until it swung open.

“It’s late- the fuck do you want?” Barry asked.

Y/N was there, leaning out from behind Barry shyly.

“Rafe, are you okay?” She whispered softly, stepping past Barry to gently take Rafe’s hands.

His eyes were filled with tears, he was shaking.

“I-I need you-

Before Barry could make a reprimand Rafe for the unsolicited comment, he was interrupted.

“I-I need you both…you’s are all I’ve got anymore.” Rafe said, holding back sobs. Barry’s jaw unclenched and Y/N pulled him into her arms.

“We’re here- you have us, Rafe.” She whispered. He cried into her neck, clutching her sides.

Barry ushered them inside and settled Rafe onto the count. His hands raked through his hair as he cried.

“Hey, hey, Rafe. Look at me, you’re good. You’re good.” Barry whispered, gently touching Rafe’s chin.

“H-He doesn’t see what I do for him- he keeps fucking using me!” Rafe yelled. Y/N jumped and shakily held his cheek.

“Baby, look at me. You can’t keep doing things for him- you can’t let him treat you like this.” Y/N whispered, her thumb stroking his cheek.

“B-But he’s my dad.” He croaked. Her heart broke into a million little pieces for him. She understood more than anyone what it felt like to be discarded by a parent.

“Listen, he ain’t gonna bother you here. Alright?” Barry whispered. Rafe nodded and looked between the two.

“Thank you.” He whispered, gently taking each of their hands. Barry swallowed nervously and nodded.

“Yeah…of course, country club. You’ve always got a home here.” Barry said.

The three loved one another so much. Having been neglected all their lives. They fed off the love they never got to give. Y/N the most out of all of them. Constantly needing to be touched by one of them. Whether it was holding one of their hands or behind cradled in one of their laps.

She needed to feel as close as possible.

Barry and Y/N helped Rafe more than they knew. Helping him with his drug habit, helping him with his mental health. Trying to make sure he was in a good place and had somewhere he could express his emotions without judgement.

Rafe never understood what having a home was like until them. Rafe and Y/N had become his home.

I can't seem to drown you out long enough

Both boys hadn’t come to terms with their sexualities before their relationship. So when it started, it was difficult. Rafe wasn’t used to affection and Barry was jaded. He wasn’t good at talking about how he felt and it resulted in a lot of bickering.

The boys were fighting. Y/N could hear them from outside the trailer. She hated the fighting but it came to a point where she needed to intervene.

Storming inside and slamming the bedroom door open.

“Enough! Both of you!” She yelled, tears already burning in her eyes.

I fell victim to the sound of your love

“We’re sorry, baby.” Barry murmured. Y/N sighed and crossed her arms tightly.

“The fighting has to stop…it’s driving me crazy you guys. We love each other. A-And I know that’s hard for you two…but you know it’s true.” She whispered, her hands cupping their cheeks gently.

“We know…

“Oh fuck off, Barry.” Rafe murmured, pulling away. Y/N clenched her jaw and grabbed his sleeve.

“Look at me, Rafe. I-I know this is harder for you than anyone. With your dad…but it’s okay.” Y/N cooed, ushering Barry over.

Barry tenderly cupped Rafe’s face, causing the boy to flush.

“We love you, big boy. So I guess you’re stuck with us.” Barry said lowly, his thumb gently stroking the boy's cheek as it heated up under his palm.

“I-I love you too. Love the both of you so fucking much.” Rafe whispered. Barry smirked and pulled Rafe down into a soft kiss. Causing them both to let out a soft noise of satisfaction.

Y/N smiled brightly. Her heart swelling with adoration.

As they parted, Barry kissed Y/N gently, fingers gripping her chin.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest little problem solver, huh?” He teased. Her cheeks flushed and she pushed him back playfully.

“I-I hate when you two fight.” She whispered shyly. Rafe grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into his chest.

“We know, honey. We’re sorry. Won’t ever happen again.” Rafe cooed. She nodded, burying herself into his arms.

You're like a song that I ain't ready to stop…

I got nothing but you on my mind

Rafe’s father was becoming a problem. His cruel words slowly getting to Rafe once more. Even after spending so long letting himself be loved and cherished by not one but two people.

He couldn’t get the vile words out of his head.

“So you’re a queer freak now, is that it?”

“You think those scum actually care about you?”

“The drugs have fucked your brain up worse than we thought if you think they care about anything other than money!”

“They fucking care!” Rafe screamed, chest heaving with every strained breath that left him.

“You are nothing to them!” Ward yelled. Rafe pulled at the roots of his hair roughly. Tears filling his eyes.

“They treat me like I’m someone! They fucking care!” Rafe growled, grabbing his bag and leaving. Getting on his bike and letting it take him as fast as it could to the trailer.

The revving of the engine alerting the two inside that Rafe was home.

The trailer door slammed open and Y/N jumped.

“I need a fuckin’ drink.” He grumbled. Y/N looked to Barry who sat across from her. The worry on her face evident.

“I’ll go.” Barry said softly. Y/N nodded and watched him follow Rafe into the kitchen.

“Something happened, bug?” Barry asked, soft twang to his accent. Rafe inhaled sharply and gripped the counter tightly.

“My fucking father…what else is new.” Rafe grumbled. Barry nodded slowly, eyeing the distraught boy carefully.

“What’d he say this time?” Barry asked softly, hand coming up to gently hold the back of Rafe’s neck. Rafe turned and swallowed back tears.

“Y-You guys…you care. I know you fucking do.” Rafe whispered. Barry’s heart dropped and he nodded.

“We care, bug. Don’t doubt that, pretty boy.” Barry said, pulling him down into a tight hug.

When Y/N didn’t hear any yelling, her worry grew. She followed after him and found them tightly hugging. Rafe crying softly into Barry’s shoulder.

“Get in here, sweet cheeks.” Barry said, seeing her pout at the sight of them hugging without her. She buried herself into their arms and pressed sweet little kisses against Rafe’s tear stained cheeks.

“We love you so much, Rafey. Always be here for you.” She whispered. He laughed softly through his tears and squeezed her waist.

“I love you’s too, so fucking much.” Rafe murmured. Y/N squealed as he nearly took her off her feet. Her fingers gently brushing through his hair.

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes

Barry and Y/N didn’t mind reassuring Rafe they loved him. They wanted him to know he was cared for. But he wasn’t the only one that let his insecurities haunt him.

Before Barry, and before Rafe, Y/N lived with a neglectful father. Mostly absent, and when he wasn’t, he was treating her like shit. Beating on her, locking her out of the house in the middle of storms.

Funny enough, the two had met through her father. Barry was her fathers dealer and one day, her father had wracked up a hefty debt. And when Barry went to his house to collect, he found poor, bruised and beaten Y/N instead.

Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place

Y/N was sleeping between the two boys. It’d been a long night, Y/N’s father showing up at Barry’s trailer.

It took a while to get him to leave, but when Barry called Rafe, the two of them were enough to scare him off.

She was stirring, unable to get comfortable. Her eyes opened and she whimpered softly.

Sitting up quickly and slipping from bed. Her head was spinning with a million thoughts at once.

She was sitting on the foot end of the bed. Picking at her fingers. Maybe she didn’t deserve them.

Maybe she was bound to end up a worthless old drunk like her father. Or maybe she’d die young of an overdose like so many she knew before. Life was cruel, but her mind was crueler.

Her soft whimpers, slowly turning into cries. Which quickly turned into muffled sobs as she tried desperately to not wake the boys behind her.

I was only just a breath removed from going to waste

Barry was the first to wake up. Looking down at her, knees pulled up to her chest. He nudged Rafe awake and they sat up and their hearts broke.

“Hey, sweet thing. What’s on your mind?” Barry whispered. Her head turned to look at them and her cheeks flushed. Feeling silly for crying.

“M’sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” She said softly. Rafe pulled her into his lap and she whimpered, brushing her tears away.

“W-What if I end up l-like him?” She cried. Rafe cradled her against this chest, kissing her head repeatedly as Barry kissed her knuckles.

“That ain’t gonna happen, pretty girl. You know why?” Barry whispered. She shook her head and sniffled, lifting her head from Rafe’s neck to look up at the two boys.

“Because you’re good…you’re smart, and funny as hell. And creative, you’re gonna do something great. We both fucking know it.” Rafe whispered. Y/N sniffled and peered up at the boy holding her.

“Don’t you forget that.” Barry said. Y/N nodded and leaned forward, kissing Barry slowly.

She needed to be surrounded by them. She pulled away from Barry and kissed Rafe slowly, whimpering as his fingers tangled into her hair. Soft little pants leaving her.

“I-I need- I-I

“What’d you need, sweet thing? Hm?” Barry murmured, lips gently brushing along her neck.

“N-Need to feel you- please?” She begged softly. Rafe met Barry’s eyes and evil smirks spread across their faces.

“Yeah- we’ll take care of you, honey. Who do you want first?” Rafe murmured, his hands slowly working her sleep shirt off.

She couldn’t force her words out. It was all making her head fuzzy. She didn’t care who she had first. She just needed to feel close to them.

He carefully maneuvers her so she’s laid back against his chest, Barry kneeling between their legs as Rafe forcefully spreads hers.

Her chest rose and fell quickly as Barry gently kissed down her body. Little whimpers leaving her parted lips.

Rafe’s hands traveled over every inch of exposed skin. Along her shoulders and down her arms. Trailing over her tummy and smirking as she squirmed at the ticklish sensation, before settling his warm hands on her breasts. Fingers playing with her sensitive nipples, pulling and pinching the peaked buds.

“Gonna make you feel real good, sweet thing.” Barry cooed, grabbing her hips.

“Lemme ask you again, who do you want first? Gotta use your words, sweetheart.” Rafe said lowly, suckling bruises along her neck. Leaving her shoulders bare for Barry to mark up.

“Y-You, Rafey. W-Want you first.” She whimpered. Barry chuckled lowly, helping Rafe move her. They handled her like she was a China doll. Like she was nothing but could break at any moment.

“That’sa good girl.” Barry said softly. Rafe was sat on the edge of the bed with Y/N in his lap. Her back against his chest.

Barry stood in front of them, his hand gently holding her face.

“Ready, sweetheart?” Rafe murmured. She nodded, humming her response.

Pushing her panties to the side, Rafe lowered her down onto his cock. His falling back at the feeling of her soft walls hugging him so nicely.

Y/N’s hands flew out to grab onto Barry’s shoulders for support. Soft moans falling past her lips as tears filled her eyes.

Rafe’s rough hand pressed against her tummy as she adjusted to his size.

“F-Feel so good.” She sobbed, using her grip on Barry’s shoulders to gyrate her hips against Rafe.

“Fuck- you’re perfect.” Rafe groaned against her neck.

“Look how pretty you two look fuckin’- know how to drive me crazy, don’tcha?” Barry growled. Y/N whimpered and parted her lips as Barry slid his fingers into her mouth.

“Oh shes fucking needy, isn’t she, pretty boy?” Barry teased. Making her cheeks flush.

She was. She was desperate for any touch they were willing to give her. She needed to be reminded she was theres. That night, she was thoroughly reminded who she belonged to.

Till I found salvation in the form of your grace…

Barry hadn’t loved anyone like he loved Rafe and Y/N. Not ever in his life. Part of him was scared he’d lose them one day. That they realized they both could do so much better.

Y/N would kiss all over his face and tell him she’d never leave him.

Rafe would wrap his arms around him from behind and tell him he’s stuck with them both.

It was all the reassurance Barry needed.

Before Y/N, both men were deeply haunted by their lives. Using drugs as an escape. With help and encouragement from one another, they got clean. Minus cigarettes and the occasional joint.

They truly were good for one another.

On the verge of almost bleeding you out…

The couple had spent so long making sure Rafe had finally learned to ignore his father. Only wanting him to realize he was so much more than the little credit his father gave him.

To his father, he was a nuisance. A disappointment.

But to them, he was kind and caring. A natural protector and caregiver. Y/N had grown to love the nights they spent painting rocks together and then hiding them all over the lawn for Barry to find.

Barry loved the movies night they’d have together, Y/N cuddled up between as Rafe’s fingers carded through his messy hair.

But as time passed, it was clear that Rafe never moved on from his father. In fact, he was influencing him worse than ever.

Rafe hadn’t come around for a couple days. Y/N missed him and Barry wouldn’t admit it, but he missed him too.

It was a week before he was seen by either one. Of course they talked, but his absence was noted.

“Rafey! Where have you been?” Y/N said sweetly, jumping up and hugging him tightly. Barry was less quick to forgive and forget his unannounced disappearance.

“I was around, sweetheart.” He said, his hand squeezing her ass playfully as she ran back to her lounge chair.

“Yeah- I’d like to know where the fuck you’ve been too, country club?” Barry grumbled, walking over to Y/N and gently stroking her hair.

“Listen- I said I was around. Fuck off, man. I just need to buy some shit right now. Okay?” Rafe said. Y/N’s heart stopped and she sat up quickly. Legs swinging over the side of the chair.

“You’re here to buy?” Y/N whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Barry’s arm gently wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his side.

“I-I thought…y-you both were clean?” Y/N whimpered.

“You thought I was fucking serious? Nah- I ain’t about that shit. I just need like a gram or two, man. I got the cash.” Rafe said, tossing the money down onto the ground at their feet.

“Don’t be talking to her that way- you know how important that promise was to her. What the fuck is up, bug?” Barry said lowly, stepping over the money to stand in front of Rafe.

“Jesus! Nothing is up! Can’t I just get my fucking drugs and dip?” Rafe said.

“N-No! Not when you left us wondering for a week? W-What about us? Didn’t you think to l-let us know?” Y/N cried, her hands slamming against his chest to push him back.

Rafe’s lip twitched with anger. His eyes darkening. His hand flew up and grabbed her jaw tightly.

“No I didn’t think to let you’s know because I didn’t give a shit.” He growled. Y/N cried and pushed him back, Barry stepping between them quickly.

“Don’t fucking touch her like that? What the hell is wrong with you?” Barry yelled, grabbing the front of Rafe’s polo shirt in his fist.

This wasn’t the Rafe they’d fallen in love with. It was someone completely different. This was who they’d met so many months before they’d all gotten together.

“I’m not getting you your fucking drugs. Not after this shit. Don’t come back till you’re ready to tell us what’s got you all worked up.” Barry growled. Trying to mask the hurt he was feeling with protectiveness for Y/N.

Rafe shoved him off of him and scoffed.

“Fuck you both.” Rafe growled, mounting his bike and driving off.

Y/N cried softly, rubbing softly at her jaw where Rafe had grabbed her. They hadn’t seen him like that in months. They’d gotten used to the affectionate sweetheart that was in their bed most nights.

Not the unhinged coke head that had just taken his anger out on the two people who loved him most.

Barry hugged her to his chest tightly and tried to ease her mind.

“He ain’t right for that, sweet thing. But you know him, he’s just going through it right now. He’ll come round.” Barry murmured.

Not sure if he was convincing her or himself truthfully.

Are we too wounded now to ever come down?

Oh, how I long for us to find common ground

Y/N had work to keep her mind off of worrying about Rafe. If she spent too long thinking about it, she’d find herself crying again and her head hurt enough.

When she got home, Barry was sitting outside smoking by the fire.

“Hey, baby. Come’er.” He murmured. She happily slid into his lap and buried herself into his arms.

“Have you heard from him?” Y/N whispered. Barry’s head fell back against the chair and he sighed.

“Nah…not a fucking word.” He grumbled. Her heart dropped and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“D-Did I do something?” She whispered, her insecurities creeping up on her. Barry sat up, hands instantly grasping her cheeks.

“Hey, look at me. You’re fucking perfect. Hell..I still don’t know why you’re with either of us. You didn’t do a damn thing wrong, sweet thing.” Barry said. Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded shyly.

“H-He won’t answer any texts or calls. I-I don’t know what c-could be this bad, Bear.” She cried. He hushed her, lips pressing against her head.

“We were nothing but good to him.” Barry murmured. Feeling the unmistakable sinking in his chest that he hadn’t felt in so long.

I've got nothing but you on my mind

They were left in the dust with no answers. He simply vanished from their lives. For a while, it hurt Y/N in a different way than Barry.

Barry had trusted him, finally let someone in. And he got hurt. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he was fucking hurt.

Some nights he laid awake, head on the pillow just staring at the blank ceiling. He couldn’t get his mind to quiet down. He knew it couldn’t have been anything either one of them had done.

There was no answer, no reasons or clarity…until the day Rafe walked onto the property in tears. The first time in weeks they’d seen him.

“I-I need to talk to you both.” He said lowly. Y/N’s heart skipped and beat and she yelled for Barry to come outside.

He rushed out the door, stopping in his tracks.

“Some fucking nerve you’ve got- showing up here…

“I-I know- I’m here to give you answers. Y-You both deserve answers.” He said, fidgeting at her turned to look at the black car behind him where both Y/N and Barry could make out the outline of his father in the drivers seat.

“We’ve gotta end it…all of it.” Rafe said. Y/N looked at Ward Cameron sitting in the car. Smug look on his face.

“T-Tell me it’s not because of your dad.” Y/N whispered, a sudden boldness comping over her. Mainly fueled by the anger she was feeling.

“I-It’s…it’s complicated.” Rafe said.

“It’s not!” Y/N screamed, tears streaming down her face.

“Tell us the truth…we deserve at least that.” Barry said lowly, pulling Y/N back into his arms.

Rafe couldn’t force the words out. He couldn’t tell them it was his dad because then he’d be admitting he fell for the act. That he fell for the if you leave them you’ll be my favorite son again.

Because that would be more humiliating than breaking their hearts.

“I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes.” Barry said lowly. Y/N sniffled and stepped forward to take Rafe’s hands in her own.

“Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place.” She begged. Rafe shook his head, tears staining his flushed cheeks.

His eyes said all he wanted to say. He loved them. So much that he’d rather them hate him.

“P-Please, Rafe. D-Don’t fall for his lies. D-Don’t throw what we had away for him.” Y/N begged. Rafe reached up and cupped her face gently, brushing her tears away gently.

“I found salvation in the form of your grace.” He whispered, gently kissing her a final time.

He released Y/N and walked over to Barry. The shame settling in when he met the harsh eyes of the older man.

“I-I never wanted to hurt you…either of you.” Rafe whispered. Barry reached up and cupped Rafe’s cheek.

“I know, bug. I guess it’s just the way things gotta be.” Barry murmured. Rafe nodded silently, leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss.

“Take care of each other. I-I- I’m so sorry.” Rafe said, forcing himself to pull away from the man. Barry nodded curtly, pulling Y/N into his chest as she cried softly.

They watched him get in the car and angrily wipe away his tears. The black car drove away and away until it was a spec in the distance.

Y/N sobbing into Barry’s chest as the older man held back his own tears of anger.

They spent so long building up love and trust, only for it to be shattered in mere moments.

Months of love and comfort broken apart by cruel lies and fake promises…

On the verge of almost bleeding you out

Are we too wounded now to ever come down?