#how it can be scary for depression
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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*cracks knuckles* we know Tyler isn’t the original Clancy right? Y’all caught that? Clancy’s bishop was Keons, Tyler’s is Nico, and now “Clancy” is Tyler. Because “scaled and icy” is an anagram for “Clancy is dead” and that album was the one where dema was using Tyler’s popularity for their own purposes. Clancy failed to stop the cycle on his own, and despite already being used as a figurehead for dema, Tyler decided to take up the role of “Clancy” in the wake of what seemed like a total collapse of the Banditos. Their leader had been taken out, and now they had no one to organize them.
But Tyler taking on the name Clancy isn’t him taking on the role of leader or even organizer. He is showing us (the Banditos) that we all can be our own inspiration, we don’t need a figure to follow, we don’t need a leader to lead us. We can do this, fight dema, ourselves.
Y’all got that, right?
#twenty one pilots#twenty øne piløts#tøp#Clancy#tøp clancy#I just don’t ever see anyone talking about the lore connections and I need to know that I’m not the only person making these connections#bc I remember the countless interviews where Tyler reiterated that he is not Clancy and the letters are not written by him#and in the letters clancy explains how each person gets a bishop assigned to them and his was keons#and in Nico and the niners tyler sings he’ll always try to stop me that Nicolas Bourbaki#therefore the bishop we see in the videos interacting with tyler is Nico and not keons#let alone the fact that Clancy describes keons as kind and gentle and Nico seems very forceful in comparison#and don’t forget this is all a metaphor or allegory for depression and mental illness#Clancy’s bishops being kind and caring while Tyler’s is scary and forceful is representing the different ways mental illness can menifest#maybe it feels like it’s trying to help you but it’s actually just keeping control over you#or maybe it scared the shit out of you but you don’t know how to fight back#because both kind of have a point#anyway#pls let me know if this was new information or if I’m preaching to the choir
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For fanfic purposes, I enjoy the parallels of switching the romance narrative from “We deserve each other” to “I don’t deserve you” for angst purposes and also I think there can be something touching with Fiyero finding beauty in Elphaba’s looks and Elphaba being intrigued by Fiyero’s mind. I want both of them learning to love and accept the part of themselves they’re most insecure about, because to accept to other’s love for them they have to acknowledge and accept the many reasons why they love each other, including that.
#hollypunkerspost#he sees her looks he acknowledges them and its his truth shes beautiful to him#fiyero ‘mr depression with a smile’ ‘mr self depreciating jokes about how dumb i am’ ‘mr i hope you can accept me the way i am now’#fiyero 🤝 captain kirk ‘green means go’ (im sorry)#fiyeraba#fiyero tigelaar#elphaba thropp#my thoughts on writing and also mentally ill fiyero is my headcanon and also theres a whole plot thing going on with that#anyone else ever seen return to oz?#mombi… the wheelers… 😏 so fucking scary man
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its slow and tedious. and god still plays her little tricks on me.. but i do really think its getting better
#walking on eggshells but i can see the light on the horizon. ... hatsune miku?!#sorry i had to#i find myself hopeful even when im depressed. i have really really bad days but they always end. there is always tomorrow.#the time will pass anyways#i think time is such a scary thing#but there is a big comfort in time . and how everything is always changing.#i am better than i was 5 years ago . and i will be better than i am now in 5 years#its slow but its changing#theres a future im clawing my way too. hands in the dirt blood under my finger nails. but at least i can picture it. at least its there#rambling
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Outside, night.
A girl stands in a blue hoodie and jeans, ignoring the suburbia around her to stare at the clear, starry night. She looks up, peacefully.
Girl (loudly): MAN IT SURE WOULD SUCK IF THE TEMPORAL ANOMALY KNOWN AS THE MIDNIGHT DINER CAME AROUND. IT SURE WOULD BE BAD IF THE POINT OF NULL ENTROPY DROPPED RIGHT INFRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. MAN, I DO HOPE IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!
#midnight burger#Podcast#USA#I hate it here#I'm so fucking happy#I have a decent family#But we can't kill Trump 😭#Because it would give them a martyr#And I do NOT want to give them a martyr#Just.#Look at how Kelsier's martyr turned out.#That shit is scary#Anyway.#Gloria could do it tho.#Gloria is the best.#Besides Effie#Of course#(Of course)#And maybe the rest of the world.#Let Leif run ham with a Lazer cannon.#Release the BTS wolves.#If we put Caspar and Ava in a duo and let them loose we can depress the entire government#Please have this be the timeline where unrealistic shit happens.#Time and ride are roiling and I only recently got a grip#Please let me go at least a year with a grip on my mental state#But no.#The president#Shit#The country#Is putting some very good friends in danger
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Hehe this man is broken and severely emotionally distressed. Silly lovable guy but given self esteem issues because of the crushing weight of perfectionism. Not so funny if you think about it too long. But at least on the upside he cries pretty :))
No but seriously for all those who relate to Mr. Puzzles just want you to know your accomplishments alone do not define your value and worth as a person. Even when you’re a messy work in progress, you are loved and appreciated more than you may recognize. Thank you for being here. Don’t get me wrong it’s good to be idealistic and set goals, but don’t undermine yourself if you don’t get that perfect score….or if you start to fall behind compared to everyone else. Everyone goes through those moments of doubt or perceived failure. We need to fail every once in a while. And that’s okay
…a-anyways funny goofy dramatic TV guy we love him so much so silly so slay he lives in my head rent free yipeee. This animation is dedicated to him because if anyone in the cast deserved a feature length film it was definitely him, and he sure took up the spotlight in Puzzlevison and absolutely owned it. I’m excited for his future endeavors ✨
#someone please how did I make this in two days wh-#wow wow wow what’s going on here how did I do that this is scary super powers being unlocked right now#Mr. Puzzles hyperfixation give me strength and motivation to get shit done I guess??? yay???#like holy shit I’m so productive in my art all the sudden whats this feeling of dopamine and happiness-#WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DEPRESSION WHERE’D IT GO#sir really stepped into my brain and yeeted my depression saying ‘looks like you won’t be needing that anymore’#and now he things he can just puppeteer me around to make countless art pieces in his image and honor??#he’s using me as his pawn to spread his glorious face around the internet HELP jksjksp#no actally don’t it’s very comfortable and freeing here I love letting my silly fixations go rampant <3#I don’t even need to think about what I want to do art stuff just happens naturally#CHEERS TO FICTIONAL MEN YIPEEE#wow he’s so mentally ill just like me fr /j#also now I’m staring to guilt trip myself because I feel bad watching him cry even though I’M THE ONE WHO ANIMATED IT WHYYYY#hplonesome art#mr. puzzles animation#smg4 mr puzzles animation#mr puzzles smg4 animation#sad mr puzzles#mr. puzzles crying animation#smg4 mr puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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Doodled my Three Houses N in between a comm I’m currently working on I think y’all would appreciate it (Ft My semi self insert OC who I ship with him lmao)
#ask to tag#that feeling when you’re most likely gonna die in your mid thirties so you cope with that by making death your special interest#not sure how healthy of a coping mechanism that would actually be but it seems to work for N so let him vibe#3H N is the type of guy to hear about a haunted house. in a universe where ghosts are likely real. mind you#and just INSTANTLY rush in because he’s stoked as shit to encounter ghosts and try and talk to them#it’s probably comforting for him rather than scary since it makes him fear the unknown less and lets him believe he won’t leave his loved#ones forever. He likes to think he can still be with them even beyond the grave#sorry for the depression in the tags lol comes with the territory of ‘chronic illness that shortens your lifespan drastically’#3H N deserves to deck his father and the entire cult in the face#n harmonia#bc rambles#three houses N AU#my au#fire emblem
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#tko_art#i split the apple down symmetrical lines and what i find is kinda scary#everytime i feel good i think it'll last forever but it doens't#and i don't know#how we make it out when we make out on the low#even if it rains you'd rather make it snow#why am i struggling so bad bro what's going on#why can he take it when i can't#i feel like i'm never going to get out of this depression
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hey hey just letting y'all know that if im not replying to your asks or messages im not ignoring you i promise it's just very. hard for me rn. i love you all a lot i just really can't. think rn ;;
#WHYYYYYYYYYYYY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY#and again. i just have to wait until my next session. and i have no idea when it's gonna be.#and all the coping tips i've seen online are just “have you tried talking to people :) have you tried going outside :)”#and to that i say. 1) my family just goes “you have everything how can you be depressed” and 2) the weather is. well. not great#im so sorry for talking so much about this again#the worst thing is that i really can't explain why im feeling like this. or more like. no no i can explain but then it gets very very sad#basically just had a very scary realization a few days ago and now im. yyeah#mmaybe i should just. wait until it goes away
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I'm trying to get into therapy rn and I'm nervous as fuck... I keep all my thoughts and feelings inside for a reason, this is prob gonna make me a little sick... I'm doing it for a reason but jesus....
#the last time I confessed any sort of internal stress to a family member it made me feel SO bad like no... we do not discuss that.....#I can discuss it with close friends tbf (of which I have 1) but that's it. like that shit is supposed to be for me aloooone....#so this is going to be difficult to deal with. but also my depression and my OCD are kicking my ass....#so I need this unfortunately...#also in the inquiry thing I filled out I put gender identity issues in there and I'm kinda fucking regretting iiiiitt......#like how do I discuss this... should I just... take it back??? that's kinda too Scary to talk about bro#ranting
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i think people who tend to have ideas for years and years and don't write have to realize that there's never going to be a good time, there's never going to be the perfect words, and the more you over plan, the more unrealistic expectations you set for yourself, and the more difficult it is to live up to those so you end up losing momentum. it's good to have longstanding ideas, lord knows i do, but at some point you have to put words to page, no matter how bad you think they are, or else you'll never tell the story you want to, and instead you'll let it live in your head for the rest of your life. which is fine, but you might surprise yourself if you put it on the page
#idk i'm just seeing a lot of ppl mostly on instagram like finally start your novel!!#or like a guide to starting novel or writing tools to start your novel#like the only writing tool you need to write a novel is a pen and paper or a doc of some kind#throw world building on a page and make it cohesive later just get all of the ideas out because they're all cool you might just have to#change some later to make it fit#or if it's not perfectly plotted you can plot it as you go along#i feel like sticking to an outline restricts you you never know when an idea is going to hit you it could be mid story#i've had ideas after i've finished the story that made me go back and change a substantial amount#but it was easier because i had something to fix or add to already and i could see how i could do it realistically#that's not to say i don't have outlines they're just very vague#i do think it's good to keep some kind of ending in mind even if it's not specific but like where you want your mc to end up#this is funny actually bc i didn't decide this til after i wrote the whole story#or like how it will start to wrap up at least#and if it's nano then i divide some stuff up by word count#like by 10k get here by 30k get here spend the 30k's writing [vague instruction]#but for regular stories brother that's just fun times writing without thinking#you have to write without thinking! it's the only time you don't think because all your thoughts are immediately going to paper#you can think later . when editing it . or agonizing over a synonym but whatever . have a few ideas and just go for it#and realize how it subsequently reflects your life but you can think later just find something you'll go feral over and write it#idk this is really long and detailed and coming from someone who has no authority whatsoever#but it kind of depresses me when i see people say stuff like this#like !! writing is fun !! just do it !! it'll be good because you wrote it and it'll be fun because you like it !!#and sure i don't do things sometimes bc i'm scared i've had an idea for. a script i just have not written#but like i know i just have to write it i'm not spending time plotting it bc ik if i do i'll never get to it#it's scary at first but just don't pay attention to anything else and just write#anyway this is long for no reason and ironically i SHOULD be editing my story#but you know#had some thoughts#writing#my stuff
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I'm glad I tried fiber gummies like that person on reddit suggested. I take a dump on a regular basis again because of these. They're also really yummy, I got peaches and berries flavored.
#My mom's joined a gastroparesis Facebook group and is always looking for stuff for me in there#I told her I joined the subreddit for gastroparesis but the posts are kinda depressing. Or weird.#I don't understand the want to get a feeding tube put in if you don't have to get one. Like i understand not wanting to eat#But that doesn't mean I want to be tube fed either. That's scary. You can so many issues with that#I've been wondering about if I need a iv port put in but those are dangerous. The only reason I've been thinking about them#Is because of how often I need to go to the hospital for IV fluids. My veins will not last forever doing this every month#Maybe I'd be okay if I could just stop drinking soda and switch to mostly Gatorade and Gatorlyte and saline#my posts
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the sudden urge to cosplay the non-breath oblige character
#lemon man talks#Gay people can never cosplay normal characters it’s always goat guy from a music video of a depressing ass song#They have like 3 images aside from the mv and look slightly different in each one#The liberties I can take with this design are crazy /hj#Like. It’s a simple design and wouldn’t be that hard to cosplay but also#This is one of the most random characters I could’ve possibly chosen to cosplay#Since I’ve only started cosplay and have one (1) cosplay so far I think a simple design like this would be nice for a second one#I get to practice wig styling (I had a LOT of help from my friend with my basil wig. She basically styled it for me.)#I get to learn how to make little props like the tail and horns#And it’d be a cool cosplay to try with contacts for the first time#Basil should’ve technically had contacts but my parents didn’t let me buy them and I was also kinda scared of it#I’ve never worn contacts#Not even prescription ones besides hating wearing glasses sometimes#Contacts are just scary#I shall consider it
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#spending so much time doing house stuff when i have dpwntime all i can do is snooze#the landlord replaced the fuckd up laundry machines tho! we have these fancy ones now tht sing annoyig songs when th clothes r done#gonna start painting soon and then im gonna be reattaching the cabinetry in the kitchen bc its all fuckd up#frank.txt#u know despite how rough things are i AM hapy w this place . its so cozy and VERY quiet . and my abuser doesnt know where i live anymore#which is gr8 ! i can go outside and im less likely to deal w irl stalking again. still an agoraphobe bc stalking scary as hell BUT#At least im an agoraphobe in a cozy house that is far away from my prev place so its also safer#mental illness and seasonal depression and ptsd stuff kinda make this month scary for me BUT#its ok. its esp ok bc im making ham on xmas. literally all is well when i can make a big meal and watch ppl eat my food#downsides of this house - well ttoday i saw a stinkbug in the oven:(
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watching a youtuber talking abt a horror movie and itis so obvious when somebody has only talked to mental health professionals for like. depression or anxiety* . bc shes sitting here like Woah i dont understand this guys like engaged to a therapist why doesnt he understand that someone being mentally ill doesnt mean theyre an evil scary person... I am sorry to say this but even being a mental health professional doesnt mean you dont think mentally ill ppl r evil and scary and gross
*this is an assumption on my part bc this yter has never talked about having anything other than those afaik Obv its her right not to just in my experience and the experience of other ppl ive spoken to . it seems like if you have pretty much anything other than those and talk to a therapist you would not have this idea that mental health professionals are like. inherently understanding and whathaveyou
#idk if im wording this right. what i mean is i was having a conversation with my most recent therapist and i planned to talk abt some of my#thangs and then she started talking abt how psychopaths r sooooo fucking scary and shes glad none of her parents r psychopaths and i was#like ohhh this is not a safe space suddenly . <- idt i personally am a psychopath but i think its 1. just disgusting to say something like#that ever 2. esp as a mental health professional 3. why r u telling me at all abt yr other patients its . unprofessional to me. but idk.#that combined with some stuff she said abt bpd and etc. rly made me like Oh i can not talk to this woman abt any of my actual serious stuff#and that wasnt the first kind of experience ive had with a person like that like. ive talked to therapists abt my dissociating in the past#and like. ive never felt safe to discuss my hallucinations even when they were rly rly rly bad last year bc i like. some of these therapist#were surprised when i said i struggled with hygiene bc of the depression like. guys cmon ... idk. thisis not a particularly thoughout post#i just thought abt it while watching the video#idk so many youtubers i watch talk up therapy sm and im like Happy it helps them and im happy like. etc. and obv idk what all goes on in#their lives but im kind of sick of ppl talking abt talk therapy like itll fix everything for everyone ever. like im not talking abt just#being like Oh therapy helped me etc but a lot of ppl r like I dont get why ppl dont go to therapy like 1 money 2 like. idk man. the psych#industry is so evil it like. makes me so mad. IDK all of this is halfthoughts im just talking recreationally#oh another disclaimer bc i worry i came off weird by specifying i only mentioned idt im a psychopath bc the sentence b4 that seemed like i#was implying i was. i wasnt trying to be like IM not one of THOSE GUYS i just didnt want anybody to get confused. ok sry
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Just finished the show a few days ago, so that's why I'm only just posting this now.
#also yes PB is problimatic but so are a lot of the other characters & i don't care#lady reinacorn would probably be higher in her category if i understood what she was saying but unfortunately i don't#tier list#adventure time#adventure time tier list#magic man is where he is because he became normal man otherwise he'd be in the last category#cinnamon bun is only where he is due to his character growth in the flame kingdom before that he would have been in the meh category#lsp is where she is coz i actually find her funny#hope tier 3 lemongrab is meant to be the 3rd version because I like him the best out of all the lemongrabs#sweet pea wasn't on there but i would probably put him before or after fern#root beer guy is only where he is because I like what they did with him when he got resurrected#speaking of which cherry sods should be on here to & if she was I'd probably place her before him#as her reaction to his death & resurrection was super interesting#just realised that starchy isn't on here either i think I'd place him before mr pig#on reflection I'd put the cosmic owl in the 3rd category after prismo#i haven't watched distant lands or fiona & cake yet so please no spoilers#tiffany is where he is because i find him funny even though he is always hating on my boy finn#upon reflection I actually find amo quite interesting (still annoying though)#with his desperate need to be loved without the ability to give it in return#& how no amount of affection would probably ever have been enough#like talk about depressing#on second thought i'd actually put Grob/Gob/Glob Grod in the cool powers but lack of personality category#ash actually belongs in the worst category coz how he gonna do my girl marcy like that#& Jake's alien dad should actually be in the crazy threat category#coz he straight up travels to different dimensions to make kids so he can drain them of their powers & then leave them to die#& wanted to do the same to his grandkids like that's some next level evil#recardio should really have is own category as while he is kind of threat (he did kidnap finn & jake & beat up lady that one time)#his just not scary like people in the crazy threat category are (more just creepy/weird/gross & annoying)
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