#how i often feel like a man made machine because of my experiences and hinderances

[gardenpansy]

// The Wiring Event // Documentations

The relentless and purposeful injury to the brain is essential for creating the machine that is the adult product of trauma.

Interference, which is discouraged, allows the development of self-identity, self-assurance, and trust.

Discrediting interference establishes doubt in the machine’s self and surroundings, and ensures consistent and lifelong dependence upon the creators and bystanders.

[sasorikigai]

My muse in a relationships || @ephemeralkryonics​ || accepting (Part 2)

👫Do they display affection in public? What about in private?

Publicly, Hanzo may come across as stern, reserved and repressed with his affection (even when he attempts to sneak in knowing gazes, brush of hands and any part of exposed flesh, etc.), as he’s running high on rampant, prompted introspection and overwhelming onslaught of responsibilities that come as freight train of thoughts. So it may prevent him from fully capable to display physical and mental affection, compared to the private setting. 

In private, he is definitely much more at ease, without tension and hardened countenance and aura, which makes it effortless to commit to both physical and mental affection. While he feels more than comfortable expressing his affection with vocalizations, such would not be a possibility when he is fulfilling his Grandmaster’s responsibilities and duties. 

💕Are they open to threesomes or a polyamorous relationship?

It’s a hard no; Hanzo is a strict believer of the ethical philosophy and that “what’s good is what feels good” approach of polyamory or non-monogamy relationship repulsive. This can be more gross, as in the orgiastic pleasures of indulgence, or more subtle, as in weighing long term vs. short term pleasures and pursuing sustainable pleasures, seeking more subtle pleasures such as art and community, and considering the greatest pleasure for the greatest number of beings. While he understands that that it’s not only about sex, and being about the intimacy surrounding sex, Hanzo doesn’t that the pursuit of pleasure is as important to human beings nowhere near as to live a meaningful life, and I think the monogamous family model has been preferred for many good reasons. 

He is a traditionalist by heart, so he prefers one woman or one man is an equal balance with himself, instead of having primary and secondary person whom he could divide his attention. He isn’t very open regarding polyamorous relationships either, so trying other arrangements is out of the option too. Hanzo thinks polyamory is very egocentric and exploitive of participants. There is a primary lover and then secondary lovers, so there is an inherent caste system in Polyamorous relationships. So he would much prefer to have and thinks that it’s better to just find one person to make love with, and stay open to a community of friends. 

Also, time demands and emotional complexities may hinder Hanzo from ever pursuing it for himself. While Harumi and Kuai Liang share self-responsibility and integrity when it comes to their emotional strength and jealousy and commitment wouldn’t be an issue for them, he doesn’t think it’s sustainable long term as it is selfish in nature, even if the premise is that he can love a lot more abundantly than he originally believed we could. Monogamy is not just a belief system – it’s called pair bonding. Nature wants him to team up with and fall in love with one partner. Monogamy doesn’t mean he has to mate with one person for life, but Harumi will always be the one whom he’d consider his soulmate even before Kuai; Kuai just happens to share many paramount traits which Harumi possessed. 

💔Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with?

Anyone who is shallow, one-dimensional, goes against the Bushido Code, which are code of eight virtues he will follow with all his heart. Those individuals don’t deserve Hanzo Hasashi’s hard-earned trust, loyalty, devotion and love. 

💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship?

Because of his past as a misguided hellspawn spectre and being used as a pawn without self-governance, Hanzo’s trust towards others and the time it takes to be completely comfortable with his significant other may take a while. With Kuai Liang, the duration which it takes for Hanzo to become more comfortable may be significantly reduced, simply because they have a long history between them. Even as mortal rivals and being a prominent member of opposite factions that had been in such a bitter rivalry for centuries, only exacerbated by Quan Chi’s machinations, the gravitational force of attraction was always there. 

There was an intrinsic intrigue, ever since the OG time where even as Scorpion, he caught up on how significantly different Kuai Liang was compared to Bi-Han. Kuai Liang’s major story arc revolves with the fact that the death of older brother had big impact on Kuai Liang, who in Bi-Han’s honor took name of Sub-Zero as he sought revenge against Scorpion. It was one of his biggest motivation during all MK stories - at least until he made a peace with Hanzo Hasashi. Kuai Liang is idealistic and naive, and Hanzo finds his sympathy, kindness, empathy and mercifulness (despite being absolutely ruthless and ferocious when he’s engaged in kombat) and Hanzo finds that endearing. 

Elder Kuai Liang may seem very composed, but Hanzo now knows in the Lin Kuei’s youth, he was driven by emotions (anger, guilt) - just like he is, anger fueled by guilt - and forced to do many things against his will by various powers (Lin Kuei, Quan Chi’s magic, cursed blade) and still he stayed on the heroes’ side. Kuai Liang even made peace with murderer of his brother - himself - and blamed only Quan Chi for what happened to Bi-Han. Hanzo forever feels indebted and grateful for Kuai’s forgiveness.

🤐Would they ever confess their feelings first?

Hanzo most likely would to Kuai Liang, than having it the other way. While Hanzo isn’t much experienced when it comes to having romantic/sexual relationships, for his one and only partner for life had been Harumi and I headcanon that they were friends from childhood years, in which Hanzo soon became Harumi’s suitor and they became lovers from friends, which also lead to them becoming soulmates. Because Hanzo is more emotionally in touch with himself and have no qualms of expressing his thoughts and feelings, it would come much more natural to him than Kuai Liang, who is rather naive and hasn’t experienced all the life’s joys as his childhood and normalcy to experience various appropriate things in Lin Kuei. 

❌Would they ever cheat on their partner?

Cheating is wrong, because it breaches his hard-earned trust, devotion and love. The golden rule for arguing about morals is the golden rule itself: One should treat others the way one would like others to treat oneself. The special exclusive bond he shared with him/her would degrade to become never exclusive or special. It would feel like such a violation and make him doubt his own self-worth, that maybe he is not deemed worthy enough. A relationship is heavy, involves a lot of opening up and intimacy, and breaking that trust makes him feel vulnerable and betrayed. The searing mental image of his loved one being intimate with someone else is hard to erase completely from your head, and would haunt him for long. It’s a shattering blend of impotent anger, envy, loss of self-confidence, possible erosion of faith in love, disgust at having opened up to such a person, and mind-numbing ��regret and sorrow. 

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Do they want children?

Hanzo always thrived better with having his offsprings; regardless of biological (Satoshi) or surrogate (Takeda Takahashi), Hanzo’s paternal prowess has not only kept him in check from his severe depression and sole survivor’s guilt, but it boosted his hellfire and fighting capabilities, making him even capable of coming on top of Raiden and Sub-Zero (albeit he was injured before their battle). 

🐶Are they a cuddler?

As I have mentioned before, physical intimacy is one of the most crucial and profound part of romantic/sexual relationship. Cuddling often gets conflated with sex because it releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding, and like sex, cuddling can lower blood pressure, ease pain, and increase sexual and life satisfaction. While cuddling doesn’t always make sex as an end result, Hanzo regards cuddling itself as one of the most important communications in relationships, as those subtle, grounding touches anchor him to reality. It only fosters tight-knitted bonding opportunities and cuddling increases his sense of security with Kuai Liang, which in turn, increases his desire to be emotionally intimate and vulnerable with him. There’s no denying the positive effects cuddling has on his relationship.

🔮Do they believe in soul mates?

I think Hanzo both believes in destiny and growth beliefs; it’s the same with Harumi and Kuai, that he was destined to be with a specific person (in this case, people) and that he would have one person who is meant for me in different timelines (if Harumi hadn’t met her gruesome death, Hanzo would have dedicated his life for her). And this is especially important with Hanzo’s relationship with Kuai Liang, and that their relationship slowly progressed and they both grew to fit together - like yin and yang - as they both made conscious effort to become needed and fill in the gaps of their imperfections. While he believes that he and Kuai can be the most compatible person on the face of the earth, but he doesn’t believe there's an invisible force that draws complete strangers towards each other; they have to continue to make conscious effort to understand and perceive each other, even as they begin to know them in-depth. 

⚔️ Are they protective of their partner?

Extremely. Although Hanzo knows Kuai is a strong and ferocious warrior who can very easily protect himself from peril and throes of death, it’s the past trauma of losing his clan - not once, but twice under supernatural forces he couldn’t control nor predict - and most definitely his family. 

🚀 How far are they willing to go for the person they love?

Once Hanzo commits in romantic/sexual relationships, he will literally go to the ends of the earth and to Hell and back; it’s literally the entirety of his story arc regarding Harumi/Satoshi when you think about it. It it weren’t for Hanzo’s love, Hanzo Hasashi as a character we know as of now may have been nonexistent, and so does Scorpion. 

❤️ Do they fall in love easily?

While the severity of his trauma may have been slightly mitigated by the decades of his desiderium and deep longing, Hanzo still has dreams and nightmares about Harumi, whom he considered not only as a longtime friend, a lover, a beloved and devoted wife, but even more so, his soulmate. She was a quiet, but a strong presence who served as Hanzo’s emotional pillar and guidance. 

📺 Do they share information about their relationships freely with friends and family?

Initially, Hanzo would be very discreet and hesitant about their relationship; at least until it becomes truly serious and fully devoted. For Hanzo, strategic disclosure and manipulation of co-presence (especially in regards to their shared Grandmasters’ positions and being Earthrealm’s protectors) signals will become the most frequent ways in which information was managed. The most frequent reasons for revelation were felt obligation to reveal based on the relationship with the target, the desire for emotional expression and the desire for psychological support from the target. The most frequent reason to withhold information was the anticipation of a negative reaction from his surroundings, specifically to the Shirai Ryu and perhaps beyond.  

This sharing of personal details about his life - your feelings, thoughts, memories, and other such things - Hanzo’s self-disclosure is on the low side; while he is completely open about sharing them to the most trusted, loved individuals, he is much more reserved about such things. 

♦️Are they concerned with the social status of their partner?

Social status is most likely the least facet Hanzo is concerned about, but I think Hanzo certainly has a type for someone who is either 1) a commanding leader in any manifestations and forms - Grandmasters, Commanders, those who have been in the leading position where they are responsible for numbers of individuals under their wings, so to speak, and 2) possesses insistence, the iron-will stubbornness that is able to meet his own hot-tempered decisiveness. 

💭 Do they tend to sleep better when in bed with their partner?

One of Hanzo’s most absolute favorite things to do is to cuddle naked; while he is much more of a sensual being than sexual, Hanzo does enjoy both physical or emotional closeness. While the term intimate relationship usually implies the inclusion of sexual activity, the term is also used to indicate a relationship with more than just sexual activity. Intimate relationships maintain a key role in his overall human experience because they involve emotional connections with others. This may be romance, physical or sexual attraction, sexual activity, or emotional support, while also helps him to develop strong interpersonal connections. 

Hanzo desires physical intimacy of some sort at least occasionally, being that it is a natural part of human sexuality. Because this is most often sensual touching of any sort, it requires an entrance into another's personal space, while it may be an emotional or sexual act anywhere from a hug to a kiss or sexual intercourse. Emotional or sensual touching of this sort aids in the release of oxytocin, dopamine,and serotonin, which reduces stress. Also, without physical intimacy, there are increased feelings of loneliness or sadness and Hanzo is highly prone to suffering both without the intimate proximity with his significant other. 

Specifically with Kuai Liang, he finds the quality of his sleep significantly improved; he finds the cryomancer’s coolness extremely comfortable, relaxing and natural. Even as a pyromancer and someone who is more or less used to stifling heat of Japan, regardless of humidity, he finds majority of summer and fall a bit unbearable - since he is the type to sweat a lot in those hot seasons and it’s hard for him to cool down rapidly without feeling significant discomfort beyond where he feels unhygienic and disgusting. Having some kind of weight under him is also a comforting presence, and he dreams less nightmares and unpleasant dreams because of it. 

[ebola-kun]

L.A.'s Music Industry Women Are Sick of the Same Old Song When It Comes to Equality | L.A. Weekly

"Threats, hate accounts, weird fan interactions, being hacked several times over the last year — reporting harassment and blocking just became a part of life as I now know it," Addams says. "For some fans it became their life's mission to watch my every move via social media, create false narratives, all in order to let people know that I am not perfect. The same fake accounts of online detectives trying to prove by my actions that I might possibly be lying. They suggested I deserved what happened to me. They questioned why after 20 years would I destroy a man's life? I did not destroy anybody's life. The man who did what he did to me and many other women destroyed his own life by his egregious actions."

Courtesy Purple Crush

Women in the music industry who come forward with similar stories can expect just as much harassment, judgment and doubt online as support, and probably more of the former because "sex, drugs and rock & roll" is built into its mystique. It's expected. Still, some have been brave enough to speak out regardless. In the pop world, Taylor Swift and Kesha were the biggest names to call out behaviors ranging from inappropriate to abusive. And in R&B and hip-hop, the list of men accused of varying degrees of assault goes on and on: Russell Simmons, R. Kelly, L.A. Reid, Chris Brown —all of whom seem to have been for the most part, unscathed professionally. Indeed, the inherent rebelliousness and seduction of the music world makes for a slippery slope. While I spoke with women in indie and rock music for this story, there are so many more to talk to and the problem is far-reaching. The L.A. Weekly will continue to explore these issues within other genres and L.A. nightlife environments on a regular basis next year.

The dance music world for example, is particularly troublesome. Isla Jones of the electro-dance group Purple Crush and promoter of L.A.'s Banjee Ball parties recalls how she found herself the target of cyberbullying via DJ/producer Diplo's Hollertronix message board. "There was this 'dude bro' persona that Diplo iconified, which legions of internet DJs emulated. Being the outspoken woman that I am, I became an easy target for them and was clowned on a weekly basis," she says. The clowning translated into physical violence a couple times, and Jones, who is known in L.A. for her inclusive LGBTQ events, says that it was celebrated online. "It felt like digital rape."

Alice Glass, former frontwoman of Crystal Castles, is one of the few indie artists who came out with a story similar to Addams', accusing her ex-bandmate and beau Ethan Kath of physical and sexual abuse in October 2017. He denied it and filed a defamation suit against her, which was later dismissed. She has gone on to make some of the most powerful music of her career and now is seen as an advocate for victims of assault. In general, though, women who want to prove they can rock with the boys seem more likely to suck it up. As one rock legend tells it, it's hard enough getting acknowledged as a musician in the first place.

"The Go-Go's had been together for three years and could sell out any club we played on the West Coast," recalls guitarist/songwriter Jane Wiedlin, "yet not one major label was interested in us. The attitude was, there'd never been a successful all-female band and so there never would be. There was even an article on the front page of the L.A. Times' Calendar section: 'Why Can't The Go-Go's Get a Record Deal?' It was very frustrating. Finally, a new and tiny label, I.R.S. Records, came to see us, loved us, and offered us a record deal."

Brit Witt at Coachella

Zane Roessell

Though I.R.S. was small, it cared about the band and supported them irrespective of sex, which put The Go-Go's on a successful, hit-packed trajectory. Still, when Wiedlin forged a career on her own years later, she was not immune to vulturous actions. "When I first went solo, in 1985, I took a dinner meeting with a record producer who claimed he wanted to work with me," she recalls. "He ended up trapping me in a room and wouldn't let me leave until I 'put out.' I ended up giving in because I didn't know what else to do. For decades I thought it was my fault, because I hadn't fought back. Now I feel differently about it. Now I know I was assaulted by a sexual predator."

Wiedlin's story is not revelatory but it does reflect how women who accepted these behaviors back then view their experiences now. And whether onstage or off-, the challenges remain the same. Even when women seemingly are in control, they often have to deal with limitations that hinder their success if they don't act a certain way. Men in power were — and are — allowed to wield it without judgment; women, not so much.

Michelle Carr at Jabberjaw

Courtesy Jabberjaw

Britt Witt has made a name for herself booking and running the Hi Hat in Highland Park, but it didn't come easy. "I think I was in denial. I think I still am because I've always just focused on getting the job done rather than why I can't," she explains. "I [used to] attribute being dismissed, ignored and underpaid to just not being good enough. Nowadays, I realize that I'm constantly overcoming the challenge of being considered intimidating, brash or bitchy just because I put my foot down in the same places men do. Encountering skepticism with ideas and facts where a man repeats the same statement minutes later to celebration."

From management to booking to being a club owner, the frustrations I've heard from women working in the music biz over the years have played like a badly broken record. "Owning a music venue with a guy was very frustrating in that I was never taken seriously," says Michelle Carr, proprietress of legendary '90s music venue Jabberjaw, where Nirvana famously first played L.A. "Most would not take my word. They more often than not would seek out Gary [her former partner] for any wants or needs — he was the default. What was most surprising was when even the Riot Grrrl contingent would treat me as such."

Dayle Gloria, who booked the legendary L.A. club Scream, helping to discover bands like Jane's Addiction in the process, and later the Viper Room, echoes Carr's complaints about being taken seriously. "In order to do that I had to really 'man up,' leaving so much of my femininity behind," she admits. "I was always a tomboy but had to be harder than that. If I asked for something once, it was never enough. It was getting to the point where to be heard I had to yell and scream. To get things done. It's not a great way to live."

"I wanted to be seen as a professional manager and executive, and not looked upon as a groupie, girlfriend or disposable mommy," echoes Vicky Hamilton, known for her work managing Guns N' Roses and Poison in the '80s. "To be treated fairly and paid equal to a man for the work done. I have a much better track record then many of my male counterparts, and the bands I have worked with have sold over 250 million records collectively, but I feel it is much harder to get financial backing for my new record company than it would be for a white male with lesser achievements."

Dayle Gloria with Scott Weiland

Courtesy Dayle Gloria

Witt books some of the hottest shows in L.A. right now, but Gloria and Carr are happily out of the music and club business (though Carr is working on a documentary about Jabberjaw). Hamilton soldiers on with a new label, Dark Spark Music, even after years of not being acknowledged for her contributions. "[When] I was an A&R person at a major label, the executive who was supposed to be mentoring me, who took full credit for a band that I brought to the label, told me that my snake in the grass was about recognition and credit. My response was, 'No shit, since I never seem to get either around here.' A month later my contract option was not renewed," she recalls.

Fear of not being seen as a team player or even losing one's job has been a factor for many women in terms of the varying levels of bad treatment they might accept. It's one of the reasons the news about FYF Fest founder Sean Carlson took so long to surface. Nobody wanted to be the first one, possibly standing alone against a powerful man, to put the truth out there. But as detailed in a 2017 Spin magazine article, Carlson's misconduct was "an open secret" for quite some time. Though the Spin piece featured all but one woman sharing stories anonymously, the tales of assault at FYF-associated parties were corroborated by many on social media afterward, and Carlson himself issued a statement to Spin acknowledging his behavior. "I acted inappropriately and shamefully, and deeply regret my actions," he wrote, though the end of the statement went for the all-too-common "blame it on the alcohol" type of excuses that some felt were disingenuous.

Goldenvoice severed all ties with Carlson just before the story broke around this time last year. Soon after, in what should have been a validating and somewhat victorious moment for women, Goldenvoice announced that FYF would go on, unveiling a female-heavy lineup minus Carlson's input, curated mostly by women at the company, including Goldenvoice vet Jennifer Yacoubian, who previously booked the El Rey Theatre and the Shrine Auditorium. The lineup, one of the best FYF would ever see, included Janet Jackson as headliner along with Florence + the Machine, St. Vincent, The Breeders, The xx, U.S. Girls, My Bloody Valentine, Charlotte Gainsbourg and more. But a few months later the entire fest was canceled, reportedly due to low ticket sales. Many journalists, including this one, were dumbfounded that a lineup like that could fail, and a fair share wondered online if there was more to the cancellation. Many of us are hoping that FYF will try again for a similarly gender-equal lineup next year. We'll see.

Vicky Hamilton with Bret Michaels

Courtesy Vicky Hamilton

Festival culture has in many ways become a microcosm of the music world these days, reflecting sexual culture and pop culture in general. The biggest, Coachella, also put together by Goldenvoice/AEG, has made some strides in representing the concerns of women onstage and off-, but for many of us more is needed, and all the major promoters could do better. Warped Tour brought in a group called Safe Spaces to monitor safety for young girls at the event, and even amidst controversy concerning the group's tactics, it was a signal for change that had a positive impact. Unfortunately, Warped is now kaput.

Warped vet Monique Powell of the ska-punk outfit Save Ferris has used her social media to call out the disparities she's seen as a performer on the festival circuit for years, such as flyers, posters and advertisements that belittle female performers by putting them at the bottom of the bill, even when their bands have bigger followings. She also has told the world about the outright sexism she's encountered on tour from promoters, other bands and even her own bandmates. Like Addams, Powell became the victim of brutal online harassment after a legal battle ensued over use of Save Ferris' name when she sought to forge a comeback after a long hiatus. It got worse when she won the case.

"People didn't like that I was bringing it back and I was doing it my way," she says wearily. "I was trolled. I got death threats. And the commonality was unmistakable: They were all young men, 25 to 35 and they all liked a specific band from Orange County."

Powell stops short of naming the band but says a long-held rivalry with a male singer in the scene has led to her feeling unsafe and targeted in recent years, even by the media (TMZ, Perez Hilton and O.C. Weekly's reports about the lawsuit all seem to subtly villainize her). Powell, who lives in L.A. now but grew up in Orange County, says she became "a punching bag. I believe that in Orange County, and in L.A. as well, there's still an accepted underlying misogyny, where strong women who have a voice are not considered ladylike, and therefore not to be trusted."

Save Ferris' Monique Powell

Josh Coffman

To counteract this perception, Powell is shining a light on it, sharing her experiences online and hashtagging them with #dontskirttheissue. She hopes to take the conversation that has emerged and turn it into something bigger, with meetups and a bona fide watchdog group that points out women in music being overlooked and judged by their gender unfairly, in promos, media and more.

Mobilization is coming from all fronts right now, and speaking out is only the beginning. Like the women mentioned thus far, Daisy O'Dell, Ana Calderon, Michelle Pesce and Kate Mazzuca are all names known in local music circles nightlife and beyond, the first three as top L.A. DJs and music curators/supervisors and the latter as a marketing and events entrepreneur. Last year, around the same time that #MeToo started building steam, they sought to make change for women in nightlife by creating a group called, fittingly, woman. The collective grew out of a weekly lunch gathering of female DJs, and its goals were many, but the main one was to create welcoming and safe environments for women in a music and club scene where objectification and discrimination had become commonplace and stories of assault and druggings at venues, some where the gals spun, had started to become more frequent. The women of woman. realized that it was the mindset — of venue owners and promoters, who were all male — that needed to change.

Calderon recalls her aggravation sitting in on club meetings. "We would hear some of the most obscene discussions that you would never expect to hear today about women and women attending venues," she reveals, going on to recount the conversation that made her quit doing clubs in bottle service–driven West Hollywood. "I was brought in to bring more interesting people to the club, and it was a lot of Eastside creatives and LGBT, but at one particular meeting a promoter said he appreciated the mix I brought in but he wondered if I could 'target prettier trans people.' I walked out. I was sad and grossed out and felt like something needed to be done. We couldn't have clubs owned and run just by men anymore."

"What's interesting is that these feelings of unrest, of wanting to take action in terms of sexism and misogyny — even though we were all somewhat isolated from each other — happened simultaneously," interjects O'Dell, who encountered a lot of both as a touring DJ for concerts and in clubs. She realized it was embedded into the system she was a part of. "We were all coming to the same realization that, as veterans in this industry, we had to do something because the younger generation kind of looks to us to lead anyway."

Courtesy woman.

Earlier this year, the ladies pulled together their resources and sought to open an all-female-run nightclub. But as fate would have it, on the day they were going to sign the lease for the perfect Hollywood space, an accusation of abuse emerged against one of the building's owners by his former girlfriend. Though he was a male ally to their vision, they opted not to move forward. Hesitant to qualify the allegations as true or false (charges have since been dropped), they admit there was internal conflict. "It was a very difficult decision to make because we had worked so hard and we had come so far and we had gotten so close," O'Dell says. Adds Calderon, "It was heartbreaking."

O'Dell and Calderon say they will open up a club one day but in the meantime they are channeling their energy into initiatives: The first is a list of guidelines for the nightclub industry touting inclusion and equality; and the second is an even bigger objective that goes beyond clubs and into events, including the all-important music festival arena.

soteria.

Named for the Greek goddess of safety and salvation, "soteria." is a designated safe space and service hub at music events created to ensure "the safety and well-being of any visitor experiencing trauma trigger, harassment, sexual misconduct and/or assault."

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They already instituted soteria. (which they stress is for everyone who might feel vulnerable at music events, not just women) at the Form festival in Arizona and the Summit LA18 event last month in DTLA with great success, providing safety ambassadors and crisis managers on the ground as well as a private "sanctuary room" and lounge area. They promise much more to come, changing the game for people who love music and those who make it at events.coalition

Sadly, Addams is not making music any longer, but for those who are, like Glass, and new female artists, establishing boundaries is key so that the various forms of mistreatment outlined here will no longer be normalized. Despite the challenges, more women than ever are out there rocking, and in L.A. acts like Starcrawler, Deap Vally, The Regrettes, Cherry Glazerr, Kate Crash, Beck Black, Feels, Dorothy, War Paint, Best Coast and so many more are re-defining the roles, audaciously and unapologetically, scoring huge opening-band tour slots and higher rankings on festival lineups in the process. Local female ground-breakers like L7, Allison Wolfe, Abby Travis, Alice Bag, and Miss Wiedlin herself, are still at it too.

In addition to woman. other groups are providing even more platforms: the Women of Rock project has been collecting stories for some time now, and there's the Girl Cult coalition (which has an event this weekend). There's also Women in Music L.A, and the new book Women Who Rock has spawned an activist group as well. Private women's groups on Facebook have been a resource for women from all walks of life (the music world included) such as "Girls Night Out" and "Binders Full of Women Writers," both of which throw events in town. The latter has led to a popular annual event called BinderCon in various cities.

Beyond supporting each other and holding certain men responsible for their actions, the cultural reckoning happening right now is about finding power in numbers. In the L.A. music scene, it's transcending talk, taking action and hopefully transforming old norms so that real change can occur and everyone, no matter what gender they identify with, can unite and celebrate life. "Solutions are the future of the conversation," O'Dell says hopefully. "It's so exciting to see what was born out of women in nightlife and music holding space for each other."

This content was originally published here.

[superduperandyeah]

Valkyria Chronicles, Squad Hope (VC x DR)

In a crossover maybe 5-10 people will appreciate, here’s my picks for the various casts of the many Danganronpa installments and how I would organize them if they were structured like a Valkyria Chronicles Squad. Note: I’ll mainly be going by Squad E’s set-up in VC4, which removed the Armored Tech class and simplified the skill trees from VC2 and VC3 into armor and weapon types, rather than classes.

Tank Commander

Makoto Naegi (1st Lieutenant, later Captain): Being that “Inspire” is an available order in the series, he felt fitting as the entire squad’s commander; outside of the tank, he’d be a Scout. His plans -though unusual for a high ranked commander and likely to make other squads doubt him- have come through time and again with his “everyone comes home” mantra inspiring loyalty that few other commanders can boast.

Shuichi Saihara (Tank Driver): Like Isara in VC1 or Miles in VC4; I would naturally have him beside Naegi in the tank, helping to come up with tactical moves. His character arc would be learning to speak up and showing himself to be an immensely talented tactician in his own right; Naegi encourages him frequently to one day surpass him and lead the squad.

Secondary Tank Driver

Kyousuke Munakata (2nd Lieutenant): Like Zaka in VC1 or Ronald in VC4, he’d drive a smaller tank solo, setting him up as a “rival” character to Naegi. He’ll follow orders, but won’t be afraid to question his commander’s more risky maneuvers.

APC Driver

The Imposter: Like Dan in VC4, he’d carry soldiers into battle aboard his APC, telling them “I will carry you all” as he does so. Few know his true identity but absolutely none question his driving skills.

Scouts

Kokichi Ouma (Sergeant): Like Alicia in VC1 or Minerva in VC4, his stats would be frightening; despite the sheer lack of trust his comrades place in him preventing him from moving up in rank, he would frequently come up with strategies of his own that often pay off, undermining Naegi’s leadership.

Rantarou Amami: Being a “survivor” his evasion stats would be tremendous. He largely joined the conflict to travel deep as he could into Imperial territory in search of his lost sisters.

Aoi Asahina: She’d likely have access to the “Double Movement” potential because she’s so fit. A plucky girl that helps keep morale high within the squad.

Daisaku Bandai: The joke here is that he’s tall and conspicuous enough that people assume he’d be a lancer and yet is so strangely good at blending in with nature that he makes for a perfect scout.

Yasuhiro Hagakure: Given his skill for escaping the mob unharmed and slip out of danger, he’d also have a strong evasion stat (and probably some lousy accuracy).

Rouma Hoshi: He’d be a powerful all-around capable scout with high accuracy and defense. His squad story would be essentially based around finding his purpose in life, as opposed to looking for a “good death” in battle.

Sonosuke Izayoi: He’d be another tough scout with some potentials leaning towards stealth assassination.

Yuuto Kamishiro: He’d likely have access to a variety of stealth potentials to let him handle recon and the like (without necessarily being fit to engage enemies directly).

Koichi Kizakura: He’d be one of the rare “defensive” scouts able to protect camps all across the map. Happy to be of help, he claims to work best as a “spotter” to the squad’s star sniper, though she’ll deny needing his help every single time.

Mahiru Koizumi: Given her talent, she’d be almost purely recon focused, probably having higher-than-average accuracy. Given the opportunity, she’ll prefer not to kill.

Leon Kuwata: I find the notion amusing of him claiming that he wants to switch classes to shocktrooper because they often get all the glory only to turn out to be completely suited to scout work in a later squad story (though he’d still be in denial by the end of it).

Sayaka Maizono: Like Freesia York in VC1, her background as a dancer makes her work well at the general necessities of a scout. Given her role as the “heroine” character, I’d have likely made her the medic if not for the role being taken already by someone better suited.

Komaru Naegi: The commander’s younger sister who graduated the academy some years after him, he was always quick to tell people she inherited all the firing accuracy in the family. Taking to the battlefield herself, she’s eager to prove this to be true.

Kanon Nakajima: A younger girl who entered the military to follow after her cousin, many ironically believe due to her firing accuracy and ruthlessness with dispatching hostiles that she’d have been better suited to the shocktrooper class; she dismisses all of these claims each and every time, perfectly content to occupy the class closest to her cousin.

Angie Yonaga: She’d be the one with the more off-the-wall potentials that become useful in rare situations.

Shocktroopers

Hajime Hinata (Sergeant-Major): Like Rosie, Zeri or Raz, he’d be the “main” Shocktrooper with stats far above the rest, which eventually gets explained as him being the first in a series of failed attempts to create an “artificial Valkyria” like Maximilian at the end of VC1; his story arc would be overcoming this side of himself to win the war with the power of a normal human being.

Tenko Chabashira: She’d no doubt have the Man-Hater potential like Dallas Wyatt in VC1, while also making a point to protect the rest of the girls in the squad whenever she can. Some of them don’t appreciate or want said help.

Touko Fukawa: Though some see her as a jittery bookworm, once she’s in the heat of battle and witnessed enough blood, her true potential comes out, turning her into a killing machine.

Mukuro Ikusaba: I’ve considered making her a soldier of The Empire, though as a “what-if” character, she couldn’t be anything else but a Shocktrooper (having her be a Darcsen in this AU could also make for some interesting character drama)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: A young Darcsen man, he’d push himself to achieve glory for his family and to hopefully fight back against the stigma against Darcsens (like Zeri in VC2)

Nagito Komaeda: Something of a walking disaster ala Lily in VC4, his potentials would all largely be based around luck (such as “Dude Mine” or Mica Hawkins’ “Jam Jinxed“) and would most certainly either help or hinder whichever detachment he’s a part of.

Ibuki Mioda: Given that she canonically fires a flamethrower, this role seemed obvious for her. She’d probably keep a chipper attitude even in the madness of war.

Kaito Momota: Given his role as a “Hero” character, he’d naturally be one of the best shocktroopers in the squad, with stats nearly comparable to Hinata’s.

Akane Owari: She’d be a more evasion-focused trooper who occasionally experiences major downgrades to evasion due to rushing headlong into danger (much like Raz’s Reckless Charge potential)

Peko Pekoyama: Given her hardy nature, she’d be especially capable of tanking a lot of rounds, though she’d likely feel somewhat uncomfortable with a rifle (like Fleuret Valois in VC4) and have less-than-stellar firing accuracy.

Juuzo Sakakura: A powerful shocktrooper all around, his main drawback would be a disobedient streak when it comes to orders not given by Munakata.

Byakuya Togami: Naturally talented, Togami would participate mainly as a matter of family honor. As expected, he’d be the 3rd or 2nd best shocktrooper behind Hinata (or maybe even above Momota)

Lancers

Sonia Nevermind (”Honorary” Lieutenant): A noblewoman and a member of the royal family for the country your squad is protecting, her military service (and her comparatively low rank) would be an effort to inspire her countrymen by taking to the field of battle. In spite of her high station, she’ll gladly accept any orders given for the sake of the mission.

Gonta Gokuhara: Born in a small town on the outskirts, his reasons for joining the war effort would be to protect the bug habitats that The Empire is toppling.

The Great Gozu: He would likely have the highest HP of all the other lancers.

Hiroko Hagakure: A former delinquent and veteran of the last war, this woman has no problem telling people she taught her scout of a son “everything he knows.” Many doubt if this claim is something worth bragging about, though are just as quickly silenced by her ingenuity in stopping tanks dead in their tracks. Those days as a delinquent weren’t for nothing…

Kiibo: Humanized in this continuity, he would take the firing proficiency he was taught growing up to take out tanks efficiently rather than by brute force.

Isshiki Madarai: The only one of his brothers to get conscripted, this beast of a man would take great pleasure wiping out tanks for the glory of his family.

Nekomaru Nidai: A reliable man happy to support his fellow soldiers, he would dutifully “soften up” tanks before letting someone else delivery the finishing shot.

Sakura Oogami: Likely the most powerful lancer in terms of sheer destructive capacity, she’d the only one to carry the heavier equipment that other lancers dare not attempt to lug into battle.

Mondo Oowada: Something of a loner, he’d he the unit you send off to take care of pesky tanks on obscure parts of the map. He swears by his firing accuracy (though he can never match Kiibo).

Engineers

Ruruka Andou: As a bonus to her repairing and healing job, she’ll occasionally let soldiers and tank drivers have a piece of her candy upon helping them out, giving them a minor morale boost. The drawback is a major drop in morale if she does so again, refusing to hand out any more of her candy as a way to string them along. She’s a double-edged sword if there ever was one.

Chihiro Fujisaki: A tech wizard as far as the 1930′s can go, he’d be highly attentive to fixing tanks though physically frail and often needing protection from them in the thick of battle. He’s working to change this.

Miu Iruma: A self-proclaimed genius inventor, her tendency to make “modifications” to the tanks she repairs has given her something of a bad reputation, even if anything she repairs often ends up working better than it did out of the factory.

Teruteru Hanamura: He would be the type to compare both tanks and injured soldiers to various fine dishes he’s prepared in the past, saying all they need is his “special touch.” Units rarely come to him for help.

Ryouta Mitarai: Highly insecure of the quality of his repairs, he’d likely go through a squad story in which he learns to have confidence in his abilities as an engineer, though that confidence may not last. Baby steps…

Chiaki Nanami: Something of a natural genius, she would get a lot more done on the battlefield if she weren’t so sleepy. Once focused, her support on all fronts is second-to-none.

Hiyoko Saionji: Even though she calls it “lowly Greasemonkey work” she takes her job seriously enough when it comes to taking care of tanks, but can be l stingy when it comes to healing, sadistically holding Ragnaid over someone’s head while saying “Wellll… I guess I could heal you.” One of the rare engineers that both sides fear.

Kazuichi Souda: Something of a scatterbrain when it comes to tanks, he’ll stand by his repairs as being the best, though the sycophantic infatuation he’ll take with the machine once the repair is done leave some drivers reluctant to call upon his services.

Hifumi Yamada: His preference is to keep himself busy all across the battlefield by clearing mines, resupplying ammo and just generally aiding the push on the front line without sticking to any groups in particular. Aside from the commander, the only orders that’ll have him to resupply are those given by a certain red-eyed sniper…

Himiko Yumeno: Something of a lazy engineer, she’s prone to sticking close to groups when she can all while claiming to be lending “support” with her magic. Few question her on it for the simple advantage of having a semi-reliable engineer at arm’s reach.

Snipers:

Kyouko Kirigiri (Staff Sergeant): Having graduated the country’s top military academy in the same class as the current commander, many assumed she would be the one leading the squad only for her to defer the position. Some believe her preference for watching over the battlefield with “the eyes of an eagle” (as some have nicknamed it) are the reason for her choice in class.

Maki Harukawa: A famous mercenary, few in the squad are eager to lend her their trust, a position she’ll happily accept; she doesn’t want any amateurs getting in her way (such as a certain boisterous shocktrooper).

Celestia Ludenberg: Considered something of a devil behind the scope, her rank would surely improve if she weren’t so willing to allow “unworthy” marks from leaving her sights. Convincing her out of this insubordination may take some time…

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: Often underestimated due to his missing eye, he’s happy to shut any doubts about his skills down with a well-timed shot between theirs. Some rumors claim he used to hunt in the small village his family owned beside one of the squad’s other shocktroopers, who would always bring back whatever quarry he’d taken out.

Yasuke Matsuda: A surgeon in his civilian life, many questioned his choice of class as opposed to operating as a field medic. His usual answer to this is a scalpal embedded in whatever nearby wall has some target that few would mistake for a bullseye if he wasn’t so skilled at hitting them from many meters away.

Korekiyo Shinguuji: A self-proclaimed anthropologist, he joined the war effort in order to experience the human condition in the cruelest of circumstances. Thanks to the look of glee on his face when blowing away a target that knows he has them in his sights, he’s often avoided by the rest of the squad.

Grenadier

Kaede Akamatsu: A girl with an unusual sense for viewing the battlefield like a composition, she’s prone to using musical terms like “orchestra” to refer to a combined effort and “coda” nearing the end of a mission. Somehow, despite all the chaos of war, her rounds almost always hit their mark.

Seiko Kimura: An unofficial member of the squad, she joined as a science officer tasked with testing new chemical compositions that she creates for her mortars in the field. Given the choice, she’d much rather be back in her lab, but has slowly grown accustomed to the soldier’s life beside this rowdy band of oddballs.

Ryouko Otonashi: Her position in the squad is something of a “what-if” again, but the role is largely to take advantage of her talent for predicting and analyzing coordinates.

Tsumugi Shirogane: A seemingly frail girl unfit to carry the payload of mortar rounds all grenadiers are expected to, she makes a note of always observing every possible piece of information she has access to before making a move, gaining a natural skill for manipulating her enemy’s movements into the range of her interception fire.

Gundham Tanaka: Prone to calling his rounds “Hellfire that rains from above” few are aware his strangely accurate estimations of the enemy position comes in part from the animal friends he makes before each mission, relaying intel to him before scattering.

Kirumi Toujou: An all-around reliable woman, she joined the war effort for the sake of her master’s businesses that began struggling almost immediately after, though she immediately denied when asked if it would be possible for her to destroy The Empire. Despite that, she’ll make every effort she can to accomplish that very task, one mortar at a time.

Medic

Mikan Tsumiki: The medic who rushes into the warzone to evacuate wounded soldiers. Despite assumptions of her weak or scared nature, she’s shown a surprising amount of bravery during the course of the campaign, leading the squad to trust her with their lives. Her bed-side manner is second-to-none.

Drill Sergeant

Chisa Yukizome: This immensely multi-faceted young woman is charged with training both rookies and veterans. Though she may come off as tough at first, the squad have to come to understand over time that she’s always looking out for each and every one of them. To her, every wound is something she could have prevented with better training.

Mission Control

Kazuou Tengan (General): Not a playable class per se, his role as the direct the operations themselves that the squad take part in. Given his years of military service, few question his battlefield wisdom.

Miaya Gekkogahara: As a radar operator, her role is to debrief the squad on their current mission. Despite her fiercely logical approach to strategy, many have difficulty taking to her tendency to describe the complexities of these operations with a hand puppet shaped like a pink rabbit. Her dedication to ensuring each and every unit understands the mission has endeared her to the squad.

Junko Enoshima She’d start out the game as a rival tank commander ala Jaeger or Walz with Monika as her tank driver, only for her to boredly say when backed into a corner “I hate doing this” before her eyes start glowing red while her hair pales to a snowy white, glowing all over. She’s not just a brilliant tactician: she’s The Empire’s secret weapon, the Valkyria of legend.

How does the squad manage to topple the strategic genius that’s given them this much trouble now wielding the power to decimate whole companies with a single stroke of her lance? They’ll need a Valkyria of their own, naturally.

Perhaps they have such a woman in their midst? Who can say…

[askthepokemutants]

Reid: This black and blue coloration is my natural appearance!! If I tried transforming into a “Normal Pikachu” while my core was literally killing me, I’d be dead before I could’ve removed it! I’m not a freakin’ Ditto you bastard!!

Terry: S-sorry, I didn’t get that;;;!

Reid: SURE YOU DIDN’T!!

Alan: Reid... breathe.

Terry: I should really apologize though... I mean, I’ve been wondering and dreaming about being able to disguise myself, so... you know... I’m sorry about that, um, Reid...

Reid: Humph...

Pyre: Um... by the way-why do you look that way? I mean... I get the idea of ‘shiny’ Pokemon or just some slightly different colors but you’re SO different...

Terry: Oh, right, yeah.. supposedly my dad-a Spinda-was used as a test subject by Team Machine-very likely used in some sort of special breeding project where they let him have children while altered or whatever they did to him...

Pyre: So your dad was a Pre-Alpha Mutant...?

Terry: Um...

Alan: That’s the ones who were experimented on as eggs or had special injections into them...

Terry: M-maybe...?

Reid: Pfft...

Pyre: Oh!!

Terry: I’m just a Pikachu... born naturally, not full of any weird black sludge from a canyon in a now destroyed island...

Reid: So you say...

Pyre: I mean... it’s REALLY possible you’re a mutant-

Reid: I mean, your electricity is freakin’ PINK! Man, can’t wait until Hikari meets you, pffthah!

Terry: Mmmgh....

Alan: Stop. Let’s try and not antagonize each other...

Reid: Antagonize? Pssh, I’m having fun-I actually feel calm for once.

Pyre: But I’m not trying to antagonize;;

Terry: You get used to insults, and don’t worry about it Pyre, it’s fine! Besides, to be honest-Reid’s isn’t as harsh as ones I’ve dealt with back home...

Alan: Right... well, Reid is an asshole, so...

Reid: Hey-

Terry: More like a child-how old was he again? Like, are we older than him?

Reid: What-

Alan: Technically...? I’ve never thought about it that way... if Pyre’s sorta close to her mid 20s... then... would Reid be around the same-

Reid: Let’s pretend this-

Terry: So, technically I’m his senior? So he has to listen to me?

Alan: Maybe?

Reid: Hold on-

Terry: Awesome!

Reid: Fuck you!

Pyre: Hey guys... they’re here...

Reid: Oh... lovely...

Carla: I’ve gone through that book pretty thoroughly, and heard Alan made it?

Alan: Yep.

Carla: You’re very thorough... it’s well put together...

Alan: Great! Thank you!

Carla: As for you, Reid, um... I just wanted to say... I understand your situation a bit better and well...

---: ... ... ...

Pyre: H-h-huh...?

Alan: Pyre...?

Pyre: I’m okay... still feeling a bit off from that weird mist from earlier I think...!

Alan: ... Alright...

Carla: As a Shadow Pokemon, I want to help you because of my vow to help them-that includes Vris if she’s comfortable with that. Also, there’s the Rteddy situation that we’re struggling to figure out-we should focus on that, not on some old group of Pokemon who hasn’t done anything marginally bad to society in nearly a decade-until we antagonized them... a lot...

Reid: You sure did...

Alan: I have to admit, I couldn’t find too many Pokemon who saw the Trio as a bad thing when I was supposed to be hunting for them...

Terry: Seriously?

Alan: Yeah... I mean, technically they were fighting for Pokemon, so, you know... that wasn’t bad.

Terry: ... I guess so...

Carla: It’s just the Goldenrod incident and what happened with-um... you know...

Reid: Cherry?

Carla: Right...

Reid: Now, if she’s really alive and Rteddy has her; if you want to fight them for her, go for it-just know what’s going to happen if you overdo it...

Carla: From the book’s bit about their creation: it can turn living things into toys like itself...?

Reid: Essentially...

Carla: Eeh... maybe there’s a way we can negotiate this...

Reid: Also, if Cherry was a thing this whole time...

Carla: Would they have used her against you?

Reid: Exactly...

Pyre: I didn’t even know about her... maybe there’s a reason?

Clark: Do you think they don’t control her...?

Carla: It did seem that way-she was being controlled by some random Beheyem, who was apparently breaking the rules at the time, so...

Reid: Hmm...

Crysta: Maybe she has her own adventure going on...?

All: ...?

Crysta: ~

Reid: She won’t tell us, will she?

Carla: If my mom deems it detrimental to Celebi’s balance then...

Reid: No.

Carla: No...

Crysta: Trust me~

Reid: Well, we’ve done that so far... besides, I have a question for you, Carla-about Shadow Pokemon actually...

Carla: Yeah...?

Reid: I honestly only have one idea where Vris could be, but I don’t know if she’d be there based on some... things not included in that book for... personal reasons...

Carla: The story during the time after Kryona was destroyed was a bit off...

Reid: ...

Carla: There are a few places I can guess where Pokemon may hide in Orre: the old Poke-Spots strewn across Orre are one...

Pyre: Poke... Spots...?

Clark: Essentially places trainers used to use to lure the tiny amount of wild Pokemon out of hiding. They lost popularity when most trainers opted to leave Orre to begin their journeys.

Pyre: Oh...

Terry: Even then, I bet trainers use them still-it wouldn’t be super wise to go there without being cautious.

Alan: I agree...

Carla: Right, another spot would be Pyrite Town, within The Under-which is an old underground city that was run by miners... Pokemon eventually took it over when the Pyrite police decided to destroy the entry ways humans took... but it’s like... not the most ideal place to go there for a Strident Knight...

Reid: So that’s the best option to search?

Carla: Possibly...?

Reid: ... Are there any others?

Carla: ... You likely know about the last one...

Reid: Yeah...? Do I really?

Carla: Cipher’s lab...

Reid: Hmm...

Crysta: That’s a bit out of your way if you’re looking to venture to Pyrite, you know...

Reid: Yeah, it is...

Carla: I advise you avoid that place, Reid...

Clark: He’s going to end up going there, isn’t he?

Pyre: Um...?

Alan: I’ll bite: what’s there?

Clark: It’s the spot where Shadow Pokemon were created-no one knows what’s in there now... the only worth of going there is trying to understand Shadow Pokemon better, and if Reid wants that, he can learn from us.

Carla: And I don’t think any Shadow Pokemon would go there to hide... memories might be hindered, but I’m sure they remember their time there...

Reid: Hmm...

Terry: Do you think there’d be research there in regards to these ‘Natural Shadow Pokemon’ things?

Reid: Doubt it... just curious of every possible location...

Carla: Well... my advice is to avoid going there, just... don’t... sometimes there’s an unsettling aura coming from there... if there are Shadow Pokemon there, I get the feeling a massive one lurks down in that lab’s depths quite often...

Reid: Hmm...

Crysta: Giving him reasons to go, honey...

Carla: Eeegh... whatever... if he tries going there, I’ll leave it to you all to stop him... anyway-we need to get back before everyone realizes we’re gone... the meeting’ll be starting very soon...

Clark: You sure about that...?

Carla: Just a feeling...

<The Knights are close...>

<Previous<

[gamer2002]

Ian Bogost, who once made a claim that video games shouldn’t have a player character, once again spun his wheel of random thoughts that are supposed to make him sound like an intellectual. This time he argues games shouldn’t have stories.

Right of the start, he states his declaration of gaming medium’s inferiority.

Film, television, and literature all tell them better. So why are games still obsessed with narrative?

When it comes to some voices in the gaming medium, such declarations are obligatory. Without them, those poor souls couldn’t hope for fulfillment of their dream of being invited to parties of people from “better, more serious mediums”, to do blowjobs.

The first section of the article is about how it is impossible to recreate Star Trek’s Holodeck (kinda like it’s impossible to recreate many Star Trek’s ideas), then he states that environment storytelling, getting bits of story from elements in the environment, is one of possible shortcuts for it. Then he questions the following:

Is interaction with game’s environment a real interactivity?

Is providing bits of story to obtain from game’s environment a way of telling a story?

The first question is dumb and I don’t think I even have to answer it. The second one is dumb as well, but it also reveals Bogost’s ignorance that prevents him from writing about other mediums. Providing bits of story is telling a story, but each medium has different possible tools of narration at their disposal. Books have to use words (let’s put aside picture books), but describing what happened and quoting characters isn’t the only way for a book to tell its story. Stanisław Lew, a late Polish SF author, once put in his book an encyclopedia definition from him story’s setting - was providing it not a way of telling a story? A comicbook Watchmen also includes comics books and articles from its own setting, which are also a part of story. Movies also put in scenery details and elements (like also articles) that we can examine if we only stop the tape (comic books also do this).

How is it different from obtaining a hidden recording in some game’s location? In other mediums it is only simpler to obtain such bits, unless it is a single-frame detail in some movie.

Then Ian makes another declaration of gaming medium’s inferiority, saying that no game story is better than from other mediums. Because... they provide their stories in a different way, that’s the reason. Then he says games have a better goals than telling a story.

The next section of the article is retelling a story of 3d shooters, their limitations, their masculinity (games designed to provide the feeling of being a star of action movie are often masculine, shocking), and how it isn’t the Star Trek Holodeck. Yes, we get it, we can’t create Holodeck. Like we can’t build a spaceship the flies faster than light.

Anyway, the article cites Gone Home as a “breaking the mold of the first-person experience“. Because older first-person adventure games like the fucking Myst (first limited to jumping through nodes, and later allowing its players to walk freely through the environment) didn’t exist. Not for those demanding the medium to progress, after they bury behind every past progress they can’t credit themselves for participating in. “Model set by Gone Home”, my ass.

In the next section the author cities another first-person adventure game, and wonders why it has to be a video game and not a movie. I didn’t play the cited example, but I give a shot that only as a video game we can experience the search as a participant, not as a passive observer. If the the game posses a possible state of failure, bad ending or just temporal inability to progress, this impacts the experience of the story. If you wonder why impacting the experience of a story is important, then wonder why the chosen medium to tell the story wasn’t a constantly lisping moron that tells it in a way you can’t understand it at all.

Also, a remark about how good writing is uncommon among games. Because every movie is Citizen Kane and every book won Literature Nobel. Especially actions flicks and Harlequins.

Anyway, Ian acknowledges what games can do. But states that providing a way to participate in the story and interact with its setting, hoverer it wouldn’t be limited, isn’t a storytelling at all. Why the fuck not? Because books and movies don’t allow for this? Don’t expect to be provided with a definition of “story” or “storytelling”.

Anyway, Ian praises again Gone Home and another walking-simulator, saying that if you hate them that’s because you love first-person shooters. Because those games are as flawless as they are groundbreaking at creating a first person adventure games genre that never ever existed before.

In another section, which is about what mediums can do besides telling a story, it is claimed it was futile to hope for games to “share the stage with books, films, and television, let alone to unseat them“. I mean, being a much bigger industry means nothing.

But besides that, the final claim is that wile we can try to tell stories through games, it is more difficult to experience them this way than watching movies. Because it couldn’t be a point of a story to experience it with difficulties. Like in Nobody Has To Die, where you decide who has to die.

But okay, let’s drop stories. Games alow for other things too, one shooter was used by US Army for recruitment (so I heard), VR games allow to train medicine, plane or car simulators are used to learn more about operation such machines. We don’t talk that much about this, but we don’t talk as well about guidebooks and instructional movies.

There is also interaction with other players and competition, or even just overcoming challenges alone. This is also an aspect of games that cannot be overlooked.

But instead of noticing any of this, Ian tells us how Tetris teaches us about gravity, football is an interesting use of a ball and Texas Holdem is a variant of Poker. Only the Monopoly example is not bizarre or outright pathetic.

I get it, games can use known elements, be them objects, concepts or games, and present how to use them, or play on their concepts. But there is one question. No, two.

What makes is better, not just different, from games that tell their stories? And how a story hinders this, in a way that justifies abandoning the story? The title’s premise is that games are better without stories, but the article isn’t about it. It claims that games are inferior to books/movies in telling a story (opinion taken as a dogma) and says what games can do differently. Not better, just different - like the other mediums are to games.

Games are an unique medium that can tell a story in a unique way. Undertale is able to tell its story solely because it’s a game. Zero Escape series also depends on being a game, and its first game even used for its story the fact that it was created (first) for nDS.

Games also allow us to experience stories. You can watch a mystery film and see a detective solving the case, but in a mystery game you are the detective and are making choices that impact the investigation.

When as a participant you make a choice that impacts the story, even if you make this choice by clicking an option with your mouse cursor, you experience your decision and its consequences on another different level.

And is it a story, when you make choices?

Let me tell you a story.

A man walks through a street, and reaches a crossroad. He turns left, and finds a pocket watch.

Simple, but a story nonetheless. Let me tell you another story.

You walk trough a street, and reach a crossroad. From that point, you can go left or right. If you go left, you will find a pocket watch. But if you right, you will meet an older man looking for his pocket watch.

That, too, was a story.

Now, which medium can be used to tell this story, and what are the advantages of using said medium? Some stories are better to be told through video games.

[drawerevent03-blog]

Cinnamon Crunch Cereal and Hemp Milk

“It is easier to change a man’s religion than to change his diet.” – Margaret Mead

Yup. Pretty much. This entire shift began when I had a particularly gnarly couple of months with manic mood swings that rivaled my adolescence, acne flare-ups, bloating, low energy, night sweats, and all-round malaise. Knowing what I know, I looked at my diet first to see what could be adjusted. Everything was organic, whole, plant-based and totally “healthy” by most peoples’ standards. But it just wasn’t working anymore. I knew something had to give.

Delving in deeper, a typical day for me was a whole-grain porridge in the morning, topped with all kinds of seasonal fruit, homemade granola etc. Lunch was a couple slices of organic sourdough rye bread from the local bakery, with homemade hummus, avocado, sprouts etc. Dinner was often a mixed bowl, the base of which was brown rice, quinoa, millet or buckwheat covered in a rainbow of vegetables, homemade pickles, superfood-loaded sauce, and fresh herbs. I wasn’t eating sugar, drinking coffee, I was keeping up with my exercise and sleeping well. So what was the problem? In this case, I had a feeling it was a big ol’ grain overload.

The idea of cutting back on my morning oats, bread, and grain bowls was literally devastating to me. I cried. On multiple occasions, just talking about giving up muffins made me weep, and I felt like there was just no way I could make even more changes, or think about my diet even more than I already did.

I have had two serious experiences with orthorexia in my life. For those of you who don’t know what orthorexia is, it is defined as an obsession with healthy eating. It is considered an eating disorder, and one that is becoming more prevalent in Western culture as healthy eating becomes increasingly “trendy”. The first bout happened the year I moved out of the house to study at university. While many of my friends were bingeing on junk food and beer, I swung in the opposite direction entirely and took advantage of the incredible meal program that was offered at school, and fueled myself with enormous salads, delicious sandwiches and wraps, veggie-heavy soups and stews, and protein-rich smoothies. I also signed up for the free fitness classes at the university gym, got hooked on kickboxing, step aerobics, boot camp drills, and the weight literally fell off me. I lost about 25 pounds that year, and for the first time in my life I felt like I was in control of the way I looked. The sudden attention from guys – which I had never had before – further stoked the fires for my desire to be even thinner, even though my initial motivation to eat this way stemmed from a desire to be healthy. As my attitude towards food morphed from friend to enemy, I flirted with a full-on eating disorder at this point, playing games with myself to see how long I could go without eating, how many exercise classes I could fit in between classes and study groups, how long I could make my bean salad from lunch last (too long!). Eventually my energy levels dropped to the point where I had a very hard time getting out of bed in the morning and I couldn’t concentrate well in school. I realized that I had taken things too far and started eating in a more balanced way again. I put the experience behind me without giving it too much thought.

The second time this resurfaced was, ironically, while studying holistic nutrition. While I was learning all about foods and how my body worked, I became almost afraid to eat, toxifying my body, or “poisoning” it with sugar, gluten, dairy and the rest. I became obsessed with detoxing and subsisted only on “clean foods”; mostly vegetables. I was stressed, my hair started falling out, my acne came back and my energy hit an all-time low. Despite my obvious physical misery, I somehow felt validated since I wasn’t putting anything “bad” in my body. Eating as healthy as possible became obsessive for me and my classmates, and we’d all proudly bring our lunches to school, subtly scrutinizing each other’s Tupperware contents. Again, food had lost its pleasure, its joy, and had become something that I saw as more of an enemy than a friend. And that really scared me.

After graduating, I finally got a grip, and once again slowly re-established a healthy relationship to what I was eating. It is for these reasons that food is such a tender subject for me, and changing my diet dangerous territory. I spent so many years struggling to achieve a positive connection with food, and when I finally got there and it felt like such a relief. The prospect of having to go “back to that place” of thinking about food more than I already did felt unsafe for me, and slipping back into an obsessive place felt like an inevitability. Meanwhile, the negative self-talk voices were loud and overpowering, telling me how I was fat, flabby, weak, old – things that I KNEW weren’t true. But that’s the sad thing about internal monologues, they don’t need to make sense to play like broken records in our minds all day every day. It’s enough to drive a person insane. The cruel voices coupled with my extreme fear of reverting back to my old thought patterns and eating habits absolutely terrified me. I felt like I had hit a wall of hopelessness. And all I wanted to do to feel better was to eat a piece of eff-ing bread.

The reason I suspected the grain thing was because of the unique relationship that blood sugar has to our hormones. If we’re consuming carbohydrates at a faster rate than our bodies are utilizing them for energy, that extra glucose gets stored in the fat cells of the liver, which decreases its ability to breakdown excess estrogen, and allowing it to hang around in our systems longer than it should. This excess circulating estrogen causes a whole host of symptoms, including, you guessed it: mood swings, bloating, sluggish metabolism, tender breasts, fatigue, foggy thinking, PMS, and many more less-than-desirable issues. Now, these things can be exacerbated by stress (shocker), inadequate fat and protein intake, and environmental factors, all of which I was likely suffering from.

I set out by making a plan, since I know how hard it is to make positive changes without preparation. Instead of focusing on the all the things I wanted to reduce or eliminate, I focused on the foods I could have, foods higher in fat and protein, since I knew that those things would naturally elbow out the things I would normally fall back on (I’m looking at you, banana bread). I made a list that I could refer to when I was grocery shopping for ingredients. I cooked and froze things. I stocked the fridge and pantry. I was ready.

Within the first few days I already noticed a difference: my energy was incredibly stable, my emotions were in check, the bloating in my stomach dissipated, and I just felt good. As the days rolled on my compulsive urges to down half a dozen muffins subsided, and it was like I could clearly see that what I had actually been battling was blood sugar issues – not just “too many” grains or carbohydrates. It became clear that I had been taking my bod on a wild rollercoaster of high and low blood sugar for years, which had in turn been tossing my hormones around like a pair of sneakers in a washing machine. Stabilizing blood sugar is the first step in managing your endocrine’s system ability to do its job properly. I realized that if I was going to eat grains (or any carbohydrate-heavy food), I had to eat them in smaller amounts, balance them out thoughtfully with enough fat and protein, and make sure that I was actually using that energy instead of letting it sit around in my body. So far, things have been going incredibly well, and I am so darn proud of myself for not only identifying the issue, but actually doing something about it.

We are fluid beings with needs that evolve and change over time. Our diets need to reflect that, which is why it’s imperative to listen to our bodies and be advocates for our own health. No one knows your body better than you, and once you quiet all the noise out there telling you “how” to eat in black-and-white terms, you’ll be able to hear yourself, without judgement, and choose the way of eating that is just right for you, right now. It may be different tomorrow, and that is okay too. In sharing this all with you, I am trying to set an example, because you too have this intuition that is telling you just what you need to eat and do right now. It’s actually fun to be connected to yourself, your unique rhythms and needs. Learning about how you operate and designing a plan that caters to your exceptional self means that you can celebrate, instead of berate your body the whole month through, and experience pleasure in every stage of our cycle. I promise.

This is undoubtedly a huge topic, and one that I plan on chipping away at over the next few blog posts. Some things I want to reiterate here are, that I do not believe that grains or carbohydrates are bad. No natural food group should be vilified, just as no macronutrient should be either. If you’re thinking about giving up carbs, I’d advise you not to. Glucose, the sugar found in carbohydrates is your brain’s primary fuel source, and when consumed responsibly, carbs will help you on your wellness journey, not hinder you. I still stand behind each and every one of the recipes that I have created for this blog, the app, and both of my cookbooks, and I believe that they are appropriate for many people to enjoy. However at this stage of my life, some of the recipes do not serve my needs any longer, and I’ve had to make small changes to them, or put them on the shelf for another time. I’m okay with that.

Whew! Now for some notes on the recipe.

The base recipe for my Cinnamon Toast Crunch-inspired cereal is grain-free, but it does rely on almond flour, which can be expensive. If you can tolerate pseudo-grains, feel free to top up the base with buckwheat flour. This will bulk up the cereal considerably so you’ll have more for less money.

This cereal is r-i-c-h. You really only need a small amount to fuel you in the morning – not like the bottomless bowls of that we’re used to consuming in the morning without every really feeling satisfied, ya know what I mean? And paired with a luscious liquid like my Super Creamy Hemp Milk will keep you full for even longer, help stabilize your blood sugar, not to mention flood your bod with the delicate nutrients and powerful enzymes that store-bought, plant-based milk is missing. This recipe is dead simple and pretty much like cream – I shouldn’t even call it milk, since it’s so rich and thick. And since we’re thinking outside the cereal box here, don’t stop at breakfast…this milk is amazing in coffee and tea, in raw treats and baked goods, soup, smoothies, ice cream and popsicles. You’re gonna love it!

I made the cereal the first time with just almond flour and a full half-cup of applesauce. It was definitely delicious, but I loved it just as much when I cut this amount in half. If you don’t want all the sweetness, use just ¼ cup / 60ml of applesauce instead of the full amount. If you’re using buckwheat flour, you will need the full amount of the applesauce’s moisture to bind it all together. I haven’t tried a version without the coconut sugar, so if you’re not into that stuff feel free to play with the recipe on your own.

    Print recipe    

Grain-free / Gluten-free Cinnamon Crunch Cereal Makes 5-7 servings

Ingredients: ½ cup ground flax seeds / 50g 1 ½ cups / 150g blanched almond flour 1½ Tbsp. cinnamon ¼ tsp. fine sea salt ¼ cup / 35g coconut sugar ¼ cup / 60ml – ½ cup / 125ml applesauce (½ cup / 125ml if using buckwheat flour) 1 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted optional: ½ cup / 85g buckwheat flour

Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 325°F/160°C.

2. Combine the ground flax seeds, almond flour, cinnamon, salt, and sugar in a large mixing bowl. Stir well. Then add the desired amount of applesauce and coconut oil, and stir to fully incorporate (you made need to use your hands if it gets too dry). Gather dough into a rough ball.

3. Place dough ball on a sheet of baking paper with another sheet on top. Using a rolling pin, roll the dough as evenly as possible, about 2mm thickness (not quite paper thin). If you’re using buckwheat flour, you’ll need to separate the dough into two batches to achieve this. Remove top sheet of baking paper, and using a paring knife, score the dough into small squares of your desired size (mine were about 1.5cm / .5” square).

4. Place in the oven to bake for about approximately 25 minutes until turning golden around the edges, then turn the oven off and let the cereal sit in there until cool (this will help dry it out and make them extra crisp).

5. Once the cereal is completely cool, break up the pieces into squares and place in an airtight glass container. Store for up to one month at room temperature.

Super Creamy Hemp Milk Makes 1 liter / 1 quart

Ingredients: scant 4 cups / 1 liter water ¾ cup hulled hemp seeds / hemp hearts

Totally optional add-ins: sweetener (stevia, dates, honey, maple syrup…) vanilla sea salt raw cacao powder

Directions: 1. Place all ingredients in the blender and blend on high until smooth (this make take a couple minutes). 2. Pour directly into a sterilized bottle and store in the fridge for up to 5 days.

Initially, I was really afraid to come out about any of this stuff – the changes my diet is undergoing, the orthorexia, the internal voices! But I know in my gut that if I’m going through it, someone else out there is too. And the reason I wanted to start My New Roots in the first place was to create a safe space for everyone to share and support each other on our health journeys, so I have to be as transparent and honest as I feel I can be to set that example. I want to say a huge heartfelt thank-you to all of you who have stood by me all of these years and continue to do so. It feels pretty amazing to have you, and to be getting better all together.

In light and gratitude, Sarah B.

*****

Also… There’s one spot left for the upcoming retreat in Ibiza, click here to join me for a week of total inspiration and rejuvenation!

Source: https://www.mynewroots.org/site/2017/08/cinnamon-crunch-cereal-hemp-milk/

[olusegundare]

Sister Debbie and Brother Samson’s Story Continues

Sista Debbie says, "He asked me to read the letter".(June 22, 2013)

The key dat opens broda Samson's post office box has been on me 4 quite a while. The office duties have been overpowering in d past few days due 2 d adhoc assigned duty 4m headquarter... Post office Box (P.O. Box) and priv8 male bag (PMB) usage hav been on d downward trend since d advent of internet and increase telehone services. The introduction of social media has worsened d case lately, because fewer people, companies and or organisations maintained d ones dey are using, while d newly established firms, new graduates, new buz hardly open new P.O.Boxes/PMBs, bc internet n telephone have taken over greater percentage if not d whole means of sending and receiving messages.

It shal be interesting 4 our noting dat "mai" lord got his P.O.Box b4 he was retrenched...he howeva finds it difficult maintaining d box during d hard days, but, she has since paid all outstanding debts and d box is fully operational now. In d times past according 2 my love, d regional exam council do send results to students tru their post office boxes...those who r seeking admission often got their admission letas tru postal agencies...those who bought shares/share holders of varying company also get notices of their dividends, annual General Meeting (AGM) 2ru postal agencies, shares can be purchased there amongst oda things dat dey do then.

But now, teknologikal advancements have reduced dat 2 d bearest minimum. Several innovations are being moved by d management of d Island's Postal agencies, but yet, d estab is yet 2 be back on her feet as in d time past according 2 my love n ofcourse wat I can see 2 some degrees. A question keeps coming 2 my heart on d establishment lately n dat is how is d management coping with d payment of her staffs salaries? My love still maintained d post office bc he still receives letas 4m other Island's Radio Agencies, as he talks abt d Gospel thru prints, pp do respond 2 some of his messages in d prints tru letas asking questions etc.

The last sales boy he employed was picked 4 interview out of d four persons who vied 4 d post by sending in their application thru post office box few weeks ago.this is bc according 2 him, d students handwriting these days are horribly illegible...and worst more, laptops ect are not helping them in dis regards. Before I finished my weekend house chores, I hav soaked in water beans...by d time I finished d house chores, d beans is already soaked, soft n d coats can be easily removed...The coats can be removed by rubbing d soft soaked beans within d palms of d individual, or by d use of pestle n mortar and or by d use of ancient grinding stone.... I decided 2 use d 1st option 4 d removal of d beans' coats...

In no distant time I was thru with that n I grinded d beans on d ancient grinding stone... According 2 "mai" mum, d beans grinded using ancient grinding stone's increament in volume is usualy more dan those grinded using d grinding machine when d grinded beans is being doughed 2geda in a bowl using pestle... Having added oda things in2 d doughed bean paste, makin it a pot-pourrri, I took out d wrapping leaves, "ewé iran", and started to pour d pot-pourri beans paste into d leaves made into a funnel-like shape with d use of a small plastic cup... When I was tru dey were arranged in d pot containing boiling water placed on d kerosine stove... On d stove I prepared pap 4 him, bc he loves pap as early morning meal, "when d europeans drink tea, I will take pap", he usually say, a quote 4m d elders of d Island.

He also likes pap post-fastingly...So d 2 is combined 2geda in dis stance, because we r in d morning and again bc he has just finished a protracted fasting... The ended week has been a fasting week/period 4 him as he said he has been asking God 4 something 4 quite a while but d thing asked for is yet 2 manifest or materialize despite d arrays of spiritual promises he had received on d issue...and he feels, well, devil may afterwards be cheating him in hindering d physical manifestation of d answers 2 d requests as he did unto prophet Daniel... I also tried 2 support him in prayers and little fasting I can do, dis is bc my fasting ends @ 12:00 hours daily... When I was through with these, off to his shop was I...I got there around 10:30 hours the Island's time,...he has intimated me on facebook dat he shall prepare his intestine 4 d tantalizing food by eating some fruits ahead...

Cooking is one of my hobbies dat should suggest 2 u dat I prepared leafy bean cake 4 d sales boys n girls too...when I gave dem their, and took ours into d office, we settled down 2 d food,,,He added sugar and liquid milk in2 d warm pap as we dine 2geda, eating 4m d same bowl... Howeva, he barely touch d bean cake, as he said dat may negatively affect his intestine due 2 d protracted fasting...He howeva said dat in d afternoon he shal do justice 2 it... When we r thru wit d food, I told him dat I shal like 2 go 2 d post office 2 check if there are letters 4 us...He bid me farewell, dat I shouldnt take long... As I was opening d post office box, my phone rang, "who could dat be?" I thought...On romoving d fone 4m my bag, I discovered dat it is "mai" lord who is calling, I pressed d answering button, "Darling!" I said. "Are u there?" he asked

"Yes, I am. Just about 2 open d box", I replied. "Do we have any letter in d box?" He asked. "Yes we do sire", I replied. "That is good...I am presently out of d office", he said. "Where are you?" I asked. "At d bookshop which is about 5 poles away 4m my shop", he said. "Do u want me 2 come n meet u there when I am through here?" I asked. "Yes, that is why I called you", he said. "Alright "mai" lord and love, I will be with u soon", I said. "O.k. I shal be expecting", he said. The phone conversation ended...He was on sit when I got there...when I got to him, he stood up, pulling my left along and started talking. "I havent enter dis shop 4 once since it is opened for operations few months ago...I never knew there are christian materials here...I want u 2 see something", he enthused. When we get 2 d Christian section, there are different bibles there of varying sizes, types, color, languages, different christian literature books and other christian materials...

"When I see this pocket sized bible, i like it, do u like it?" He asked as he took d bible 4m d shelf. I took d bible 4m his hand n said, "Yes, d bible is beautiful, and portable, I like it". He took two copies, one for himself n the other for me,...bought some christian literature books ...paid @ d counter, as we strolled down to his shop...the weather is cool as d firmament has hidden the sun 4m d inhabitants of d Island dat day...dis cool weather may not be d experience @ other islands...dat is d work of God n it is marvelous in our eyes... As we were approaching my love's buz centre, one of d sales boyz saw us and ran 2 welcome us, he collected d nylon bag containing d bibles and literature books 4m my hand as well as my bag... "Welcome sire and ma", sales boy said as he bend his torso slightly forwards. "O sé jare", my love said..."Did anyone asks of me?" He queried. "To d best of my thinking faculties sire, nobody requested for your presence sire" sales boy replied.

"What do you said u have in literature in English in your O/Level result?" my love asked. "Very Good sire...perhaps few marks off the excellent grade sire", sales boy replied. "Yes. I remember. That is why u are answering me as a literature student but not as a science or commercial student will do", bro Samson said. "The compliment. The observation. In the record sire", sales boy again said. Broda Samson did not reply him again, but he pointed me 2 a bike rider who is doing some acrobatic displays on d highway... "Look @ that man sweetest one", he pat me using his right hand and used the index finger of his left hand to point me to d action...As I turned my head 2 look @ d direction, I cannot help myself 4m exclaiming, I moved near him, sunk my face on his right chest for fear, because I do not want 2 see what will become of the bike rider as he manouvered himself thru two trailers..."Ye!" I shouted. As i shouted other passersby, some drivers and bike riders also shouted...

"That is how they get themselves killed "tú-ẹ́" like a fowl. They endangered their lifes thru reckless showmanship while riding a bike", my love enthused. "Has he gone? Did he made it?" I asked my eyes still closed and face resting on his chest. "Yes he has. He is lucky now, but he may not be that lucky some other times", he said. "Thank God 4 dat", I said...and d strolling returned 2 normalcy...we entered d shop...straight into his office...I took d letters out of my bag and said "There are five letters in d box, one is from sista Òdájú to you; d 2nd one is from your friend, Mr and mrs Paul; the 3rd is d monthly Gospel letter; d 4th is from one of d Radio Voices 4m other Island and d last is for a sales boy". I concluded. "Please open the one from sista Òdájú and read it, because it is quite a while that I heard 4m her last", my love said. When I rescind my decision, and decide 2 start going out with broda Samson, not minding d consequencies, I remember dat he mentioned one

Sista Òdájú to me while he was talking about his pasts. He asked me for my past, and i told him I have no past, except some childhood and teenager experiences...He said those werent what he was asking for... He said dat sista Òdájú may have been d one occupying my position in his heart now, but he said it was as if d sista did not knew what she wanted in life...and he had 2 severe d relationship b4 d seed germinated...He also told me some other points, but do I really commit those words 2 heart? I tored off d sealing lid, removed d letter 4m d envelope, handing it 2 him, but he did not collect it 4m me, in the stead he said, "please read the contents out". It was not as if he is busy or doing something, I think he wants 2 make anoda scene out of dis too, so, I cleared my throat and said, "O.K. "mai" lorship sire...I start". "All ears am I "mai" love", he said. "No address on d letter, but she wrote a date, and d letter was written on d day dat the President of d land asked his party's chairman to resign"

"Alright. That is mostly recently", he said. "Dear Evangelist Samson, (this is because many people called my love evangelist and some pastor because of some of the exploits and positions he had occupied in the time past in some churches)..."the body of the letter is as thus "mai" lord, "I am quite happy for you that you found a beautifully loving lass after a very long wait. I tried 2 re-enter your 18 yard box after u have cleared my ball out of the danger zone years ago, but I find it verily difficult 2 re-enter your danger zone. "I thought it would be easy 4 me 2 do since u have once said you loved me,...but I discovered dat it was not easy @ all and I have 2 leave u...obviously thinking dat something shall bring us 2geda soon, but alas I erred, because it was few days afterwards dat I heard dat sista Debbie and u have started going out...I at 1st thought she wont measure up to your spiritual stance bc she was naive in love matters and other issues of life and particularly true was d fact dat she was my junior in the secondary school, and by age she isnt as old as I am needless to add that she is spiritually junior to me.

"But lo and behold my thought of u not gettin on 2geda with her was proved wrong by her gluing 2 u in all things...she indeed has make u her father...yea more than a father, I think a person like her is whom you need considering all u have passed thru in life. "Although, I was unable 2 know many of the harrowing experiences u passed thru in life but your letter 2 me when I first asked you 2 be my lover clearly showed dat your eyes have seen many things. "Well b4 I asked u 2 be my lover, when your buz was yet to pick up in the Island had I been madly in love with u, but d cultural teachings prevented me 4m coming out 2 u. When I started growing frail chiefly bc of the thought of your becoming my sweetheart, I decided 2 write u a love letter, asking you of your hand in love. "Despite d fact dat I loved u, hoped and prayed u will answer in d affirmative, I yet doubted it...but 2 my chagrin your reply was a blessing 2 my humble heart, when u said we shd get d ball rolling dat we shd start dating....Your reply brought me relief, my heart returned 2 normal rhythm as well as my frailing health returning 2 normalcy.

"However, when I discussed d issue with some friends and elederly ones, they counselled me against going out with u, saying "I have sold myself cheaply to you". When I heard dis, dat was when I started playing hanky-panky with u, trying 2 tell u and show u dat my earlier letter 2 u was an error in d 1st instance...my calculations according to their counsels were that assuming u were in love with me u shal start disturbing me...while I keep going into the secret...but d table was turned against me...for it was me who later kept searching 4 u...I sought deeply and endlessly for u until it became obvious to me that I have lost you when sista Debbie came into your life.

"Whenever I remembered d mistake I made in divulging what happened 2 my friends I continue 2 blame myself..bc assuming we have been going out, who shall know whether it is I who 1st made d intention of love known to u or it is you who 1st do? Nobody asks of that...and even if they know what does it matter when we have gotten a stable home and family? Are they going to live under the same roof with us? "My gullibility in male-female relationship showed when I interracted with elder and deaconess Mordechai, the deaconess told me dat when they were in College of Education dat she was d one who actually proposed 2 Elder Mordechai. She said Elder Mordechai was extremely brilliant while she was an average student... "Being an average student she said she did not want 2 lose him and also dat she planned furthering her education after d NCE and thence she called off the cultural and other beliefs by approaching the young man then. "She said d man agreed and they started d dating from NCE II, fashioning out how their life and future shall be.

"According to her, they got married during their midsemester break in 400Level in the University of d Island, having courted for five years plus...and today, who could decipher who 1st made d move among them in the presence of true love? Who amongst our people even have such a remarkable love in display as they are? "After I heard their story, my heart was moved 2 d past, but, well u have gotten a love-bird. "Do not forget to pray 4 me as an evangelist so dat I see somebody soon, because I am yet single and not engaged. "Do pray that sister Debbie gives you twins, triplets and quardruplets when you tie the know...I know u are a man of prayer but I yet pray 4 you that all eyes monitoring your love life, your relationship for evil go blind in Jesus name. Amen. I also pray dat your buz and ministry grow in Jesus name. Amen. "My warmest regards to sister Debbie and others. "Have a tantalizing day. "Yours sincerely, "Miss Òdájú." "The letter ends sire", I said.

"Yes, I know, I heard you". My love said. "But why didnt you invite her to a talk when she was playing "hanky-panky"?" I asked. "Did I press u any further when you said "nope"?" He said. "No you did not. But i think hers is different 4m dis presentation since she was the one who bell the cat. I think u shd have asked 2 know why she suddenly put up a volte-faced actions", I said. "Well, I guess I have discussed dis issue with u...", my love said. "It is obvious that I have forgotten "mai" lord sire", I said. "Then I have forgotten d past issues also. I neither wish nor want 2 remember such experiences again", he said. "But do you think you can?" I asked. "Well with you, I can, I know i have, for when last did u hear me talking about those issues?" He asked. "I know u do not talk of those harrowing pasts, but I want 2 know dis one now", I said. "Those pasts, I want dem in d past, so dat I move forward so dat I have free and freer mind to interract with people", he said. "O.K", I replied. It is obvious that he doesnt want 2 talk about the issue, let me leave it...he interupted my thought when he said, "But, I actually called her, phoned her, texted her repeatedly then, but she kept on giving me excuses, filmsy ones for the inability 2 see me, then one day I speak 2 myself dat dis lady is playing on my intelligence, she thought I am growing young...that was when I called it quit and decided on d way forward for my life marritally" he enthused. "Well, I thank God dat I am where I am today, beside "mai" love and lord", I said. "Please which other letter is there that needs urgent attention", he asked. "None "mai" lord", I replied....

 SOME HARD WORDS’ MEANINGS

*Sista Debbie says, "He asked me to read the letter".(June 22, 2013)

2 d (translation to the)

priv8 (translation private)

"ewé iran", (translation leaf of big breadth in our land)

"tú-ẹ́" (translation suddenly as if they are not humans, as if they do not possess spirit)

[smokeybrandreviews]

I Mustn’t Run Away

I’ve been binging through a bunch of youtube stuff lately and i stumbled across a guy named Bennet the sage. He reviews and explains old timey anime. I think he has a ten year rule or whatever, like, it has be be at least a decade old or something. I often disagree with his synopsis but he’s literally a neckbeard beta so i guess he HAS to hate everything. That’s the most 4chan thing i’ve ever said but it kind of describes him perfectly. Sometimes he’s on point and executes his argument but he hates EVA. It’s hard for me to take his arguments, academic or not, to heart because, i mean, Evangelion is the best, man. Sure, it’s a bit pretentious, maybe a little heavy handed at times, maybe a little convoluted, and mad heavy with symbolism, but the characters and narrative more than make up for that. Moreso, it’s cultural impact has been mad profound. If you don’t like EVA,  that’s cool. If you think it’s trash, okay. But to mitigate it to the throwaways of the genre, and you just don’t understand anime. Watch his episode about End of Evangelion. Cat is on point. Everything he says is pretty accurate. The thing is, kid glazes over all of the reasoning behind why EVA is the way it is. He just immediately goes into a rather glib review, of a re-imaging of the last two episodes of a show that got so existential, it needed to basically be re-shot just so people could digest Anno’s vision. it feels like he gives a rather shallow critique, based two episodes of a show, that’s as deep as the Pacific ocean.

Sage ignores Anno’s mental breakdown and spiral into depression, causing the tonal shift in the later episodes of the series. After Anno’s mom died, cat had an existential crisis and that uncertainty bled into his show. HIS show. Anno has a habit of spiraling into depressing when he creates becuase he puts o much of himself into a project. If Anno doesn’t need a vacation when he’s done with a project, it’s usually not one of the great projects. Sage ignores the fact that Japan is not a christian country so everything about the dominate American religion is window dressing there. it’s not taboo to use that superficial christ imagery to convey a story about humanity being self destructive and fickle because, to the Japanese people and Anno, himself, that’s all we are. Christianity, and Instrumentality by extension, is shallow because we, as a people, are shallow. Instrumentality is our lazy attempt to better ourselves, to evolve beyond the fickle human existence without having to actually engage with that human experience. And the 14 year old boy who supposed to Jesus us into the next stage, reneges. He opts for the biggest “F*CK YOU” in human existence because he’s an obtuse, unlikable, whining, douche-nozzle. Shinji chooses to force everyone into dealing with his teenage angst rather than accept people into the omni-bubble of the hive mind that is forced evolution. EVA is a scathing, cynical, and relatively apt description of what it means to be a growing adolescence in Japan, conveyed to us in the form of a post apocalyptic mecha series, wrapped in a healthy dose of Judaeo-Christian imagery. Or, at least, that’s one of the many interpretations and the one i personally gleaned from the series. Cats have written theses about this show. You get what you put into Eva and he refused to make the effort. Interestingly enough, FLCL could be the same goddamn story, just seen from a different set of eyes, which makes sense because Tsurumaki was Anno’s junior at Gainax way back when. Fooly Cooly just went light on the depression and religion but WAY heavy on the sex and teenage rebellion.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is a goddamn masterpiece and it’s wild to me that people are too lazy to invest in it enough to understand why it’s a goddamn masterpiece. Listening to Bennett the Sage go in on it was ridiculous. Every one is entitled to their opinion and i get that but i almost immediately knew this cat was full of sh*t. Dude doesn't like Eva. He doesn’t like Tenchi. He doesn’t like Vampire Hunter D. He doesn’t like The Big O. He doesn’t like Elfen Lied. He doesn’t like Inuyasha. It’s almost as if you have to actually participate in the narrative, kid isn’t interested. But he LOVES Ninja Scroll. Ninja Scroll is awful! it’s all murder and rape. Literally, that’s it. If that doesn’t tell you what this cat is about, you’re not paying attention. When he admitted most of his positive critiques err toward “Classic” Toonami anime, everything made sense as to why he was so goddamn ridiculous; He’s a Toonami kid. His first foray into anime was, apparently, Pilot Candidate at the tender age of 12. In 2002. I have been watching anime since 1988. In 2002, i was 18.

The old stuff he reviews, your Gusmith Cats, Bubblegum Crisis, and Burn Up!, all of that stuff from the golden age of OVAs, i was watching fresh. I remember when i first got a bootleg of A.D. Police. I thought it was brilliant! When Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 came out, it was nostalgic for me and became one of my favorite shows, mostly because i had already digested it’s predecessors. it’s actually influenced one of my personal tales greatly as well as one of my all-time favorite films, Ghost In The Shell. I grew up with the popularity of anime. I grew with the culture. I enjoy Bakuretsu Tenshi because it feels like an updated piece of the Bubblegum franchise. I imagine Bennett would hate it because he’s a goddamn Toonami kid. Toonami kind of killed anime for the generation after me because of the insipid shows that were aired. Don’t get me wrong, DBZ is a force. It’s culturally relevant and Goku might as well be Japanese Superman, but, let’s be honest, it’s a one trick pony. That trick is dope as f*ck but it’s a trick that has hindered the culture ever since. Because of DBZ, we got Naruto and One Piece, and BLEACH and, more importantly, Weeaboos. Weeaboos take the most superficial, the easiest to digest of anime, and hold it to such high esteem, it’s crazy frustration. These are the cats the regale Attack On Titian like it’s high art. It’s not. These are the cats that made SAO a thing while slighting it’s direct inspiration, the Dot.Hack franchise. These motherf*cking children are the types of people to try and convince me that Samurai Champloo is the greatest thing since the second coming because of Hip Hop music and Watanabe. Look, i get it. Bebop and Champloo are great. They’re not the Big and Tupac of anime though. Have you ever taken in Angel Egg? That sh*t is a mindf*ck and better than almost any episode of either one of those shows. But that Bebop/Champ Fandom is too fervent to tolerate and they’ve ruined the experience for me. Just like they did for Inuyasha. Just like they did for FMA. And Bennett the Sage is like the poster child for these first generation weeaboos. It’s wild to see.

He apparently doesn’t like Dragon Ball Z either. This f*ckboy, man...

It’s crazy to think that there are anime fans that have never seen Ghost In The Shell. The movie, not Stand Alone Complex. It’s ridiculous to me that there are kids, now, getting into the culture, who think that Kirito is the greatest anime protagonist ever. It’s insane to me that Akira, one of the most influential movies ever created, gets slighted because it came out in the 80s for more “mature” subject matter in shows like Tokyo Ghoul. Cats nowadays think that anime has to follow a formula but, when i was coming up, the only formula anime had was the boundless possibilities, locked inside of the imagination of their creators. There wasn’t a saturation of harem antagonist, insipid Slice of Life tropes, or Travel to another world and be an ultimate bad-ass, nonsense. Production values were generally on point and the wild uniqueness of early anime was tantamount. I mean, there’s no way Angel’s Egg gets made today. You want to talk about being saturated in Judaeo-Christian imagery, go watch that sh*t and come talk to me about it.

I adore anime. All of it. I’ve watched it long enough to appreciate all facets of it. There are moe-blob shows i adore like Chobits and Lucky star. Some of my favorite serials are mad pretentious and crazy convoluted like Elfen Lied or Evangelion or Deadman Wonderland or Mirai Nikki. Still, other like Erased and A Silent Voice get a spot on my all-time list because of their raw emotion and gentle portrayal of what it means to be vulnerable. Of course Space Dandy, Onepunch Man, and BLEACH all have a special place in my heart and even the grand daddy of mainstream anime, Dragon Ball Z gets recognition. My point is, i love this sh*t man. Love it. All of it. So to see someone who jut adopted it as a hobby in 2002 but acts like he’s been in it for decades is wildly infuriating to me. His analyses for most of these shows is the analyses of a child. Because he IS a child. Because he came up in that Toonami era of anime where everything had to be profitable and accessible. I didn’t have that. I saw Gilgamesh and Melody of Oblivion and Bio-Bosted Armor Guyver and Wicked City before i saw even one episode of Naruto. I saw Evangelion for the first time when i was 12, way back in, like, 96. This kid was watching Pilot Candidate and f*cking Blue Gender. He was at the mercy of the Cartoon Network zeitgeist. I was not. And it rains through almost all of his reviews. He’s looking at shows i watched with fresh eyes, through first generation weeaboo goggles and it’s frustrating because of how shortsighted that view can be. It’s cats like this, i think, that have slowly strangled the life out of anime. They choked the creativity out of a once wild and unique medium because of their stifled, pedestrian, tastes.

Toonami did a lot for making the culture accessible but i don’t think it was all a good thing. Toonami created a culture of formula and profit rather than creativity and uniqueness. And cats like Bennett the Sage eat it up. Cats like Bennett the Sage fuel this crippled machine. Cats like Bennett the Sage are what’s wrong with anime.

[smokeybrand]

I Mustn’t Run Away

I’ve been binging through a bunch of youtube stuff lately and i stumbled across a guy named Bennett the sage. He reviews and explains old timey anime. I think he has a ten year rule or whatever I often disagree with his synopsis but he’s literally a neckbeard beta so i guess he HAS to hate everything. That’s the most 4chan thing i’ve ever said but it kind of describes him perfectly. Sometimes he’s on point and experly executes his argument but he hates EVA. It’s hard for me to take his arguments, academic or not, to heart. If you don’t like EVA, you don’t understand anime. Watch his episode about it. Cat is on point. Everything he says is pretty accurate. The thing is, kid glazes over all of the reasoning behind why EVA is the way it is.

Sage ignores Anno’s mental breakdown and spiral into depression, causing the tonal shift in the later episodes of the series. After Anno’s mom died, cat had an existential crisis and that uncertainty bled into his show. HIS show. Sage ignores the fact that Japan is not a christian country so everything about the dominate American religion is window dressing there. it’s not taboo to use the superficial imagery to convey a story about humanity being self destructive and fickle because, to the Japanese people and Anno, himself, that’s all we are. Christianity, and Instrumentality by extension, is shallow because we, as a people, are shallow. Instrumentality is our lazy attempt to better ourselves, to evolve beyond the fickle human existence as a means to be more, and the 1r4 year old boy who supposed to Jesus us into the nest stage, reneges. He opts for the biggest “F*CK YOU” in human existence because he’s an obtuse, unlikable, whining, douche-nozzle who chooses to force everyone into dealing with his teenage angst rather than accept people into the omni-bubble of the hive mind of evolution. EVA is a scathing, cynical, and relatively apt description of what it means to be a growing adolescence in Japan, conveyed to us in the form of a post apocalyptic mecha series, wrapped in a healthy dose of Judaeo-Christian imagery. Or, at least, that’s one interpretations and the one i personally gleaned from the series. You get what you put into Eva and he refused to make the effort. Interestingly enough, FLCL could be the same goddamn story, just seen from a different set of eyes which makes sense because Tsurumaki was Anno’s junior at Gainax way back when. Fooly Cooly just went light on the depression and religion but WAY heavy on the sex.

 Neon Genesis Evangelion is a goddamn masterpiece and it’s wild to me that people are too lazy to invest in it enough to understand why it’s a goddamn masterpiece. Listening to Bennett the Sage go in on it was ridiculous. Every one is entitles to their opinion and i get that but i almost immediately knew this cat was full of sh*t. Dude doesn't like Eva. He doesn’t like Tenchi. He doesn’t like Vampire Hunter D. He doesn’t like The Big O. He doesn’t like Elfen Lied. He doesn’t like Inuyasha. It’s almost as if you have to actually participate in the narrative, kid isn’t interested. But he LOVES Ninja Scroll. Ninja Scroll is awful! it’s all murder and rape. Literally, that’s it. If that doesn’t tell you what this kid is about, you’re not paying attention. s i watched his critiques err toward “Classic” Toonami anime, everything made sense as to why he was so goddamn ridiculous; He’s a Toonami kid. His first foray into anime was, apparently, Pilot Candidate when he was 12. In 2002. I have been watching anime since 1988.

The old stuff he reviews, your Gusmith Cats, Bubblegum Crisis, and Burn Up!,i was watching fresh. I remember when i first got a bootleg of A.D. Police. I thought it was brilliant! When Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 came out, it was nostalgic for me and became one of my favorite shows. I grew up with the popularity of anime. I grew with the culture. I enjoy Bakuretsu Tenshi because it feels like an updated piece of the Bubblegum franchise. I imagine Bennett would hate it because he’s a goddamn Toonami kid. Toonami kind of killed anime for the generation after me because of the insipid shows that were put on. Don’t get me wrong, DBZ is a force. It’s culturally relevant and Goku might as well be Japanese Superman, but, let’s be honest, it’s a one trick pony. That trick is dope as f*ck but it’s a trick that has hindered the culture ever since. Because of DBZ, we got Naruto and One Piece, and BLEACH and, more importantly, Weeaboos. Weeaboos take the most superficial, the easiest to digest of anime, and hold it to such high esteem, it’s crazy frustration. These are the cats the regale Attack On Titian like it’s high art. It’s not. These are the cats that made SAO a thing while slighting it’s direct inspiration, the Dot.Hack franchise. These motherf*cking children are the types of people to try and convince me that Samurai Champloo is the greatest thing since the second coming because of Hip Hop music and Watanabe. Look, i get it. Bebop and Champloo are great. I don’t care for them though. The Fandom is too fervent to tolerate and they’ve ruined the experience for me. Just like they did for Inuyasha. Just like they did for FMA. And Bennett the Sage is like a lightning point for these first generation weeaboos. It’s wild to see.

He apparently doesn’t like Dragon Ball Z either. This f*ckboy, man...

It’s wild to think that there are anime fans that have never seen Ghost In The Shell. It’s wild to me that there are kids, now, getting into the culture, think that Kirito is the greatest anime protagonist ever. It’s wild to me that Akira, one of the most influential movies ever created, get slighted because it came out in the 80s for more “mature” subject matter in shows like Tokyo Ghoul. Cats nowadays think that anime has to follow a formula but, when i was coming up, the only formula anime had was the boundless creativity of it’s creator. There wasn’t a saturation pussy harem antagonist, insipid Slice of Life tropes, or Travel to another world and be a bad-ass nonsense. Production values were generally on point and the wild creativity of early anime was tantamount. I mean, there’s no way Angel’s Egg gets made today. You want to talk about being saturated in Judaeo-Christian imagery, go watch that sh*t and come talk to me about it.

I adore anime. All of it. I’ve watched it long enough to appreciate all facets of it. There are moe-blob shoe i adore like Chobits and Lucky star. Some of my favorite shows are mad pretentious and crazy convoluted like Elfen Lied or Evangelion or Deadman Wonderland or Mirai Nikki. Still, other like Erased and A Silent Voice get a spot on my all-time list because of their raw emotion and gentle portrayal of what it means to be vulnerable. Of course Space Dandy, Onepunch Man and BLEACH all have a special place in my heart and even the grand daddy of mainstream anime, Dragon Ball Z gets recognition. My point is, i love this sh*t man. Love it. All of it. So to see someone who jut adopted it as a hobby in 2002 but acts like he’s been in it for decades is wildly infuriating to me. His analysis for most of these shows is the analysis of a child. Because he IS a child. Because he came up in that Toonami era of anime where everything had to be profitable and accessible. I didn’t have that. I saw Gilgamesh and Melody of Oblivion before i saw even one episode of Naruto. I saw Evangelion and Guyver for the first time when i was 12, way back in, like, 96. This kid was watching Pilot Candidate and f*cking Blue Gender. He was at the mercy of the Cartoon Network zeitgeist. I was not. And it rains through almost all of his reviews. He’s looking at shows i watched with fresh eyes, through first generation weeaboo goggles and it’s frustrating because of how shortsighted that view can be. It’s cats like this, i think, that have slowly strangled the life out of anime. They choked the creativity out of a once wild and unique medium because of their narrow, pedestrian, tastes.

Toonami did a lot for making the culture accessible but i don’t think that was a good thing. I thing. Toonami created a culture of formula and profit rather than creativity and uniqueness. And cats like Bennett the Sage eat it up. Cats like Bennett the Sage fuel this crippled machine. Cats like Bennett the Sage are what’s wrong with anime.