#how does such a small body contain so much poop?!

[fae-of-the-wild]

God, this brings back memories of when Arya Stark the Murder Cat, was still a Murder Kitten. They really like pooping places to spite you. We had multiple litter boxes so she could easily get to one if she needed to use it, but no the carpet was much better. She is a spiteful little shit so I know it was on purpose.

Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?

Ollie: Not

Me: Are you sure?

Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not

[watermelonlovershigh]

The Diaper Blowout👶🚼

AN: this idea came out of nowhere but when i thought of it i started writing it imidiantly. i love some good dadrry so i hope you do too. don't forget to share your feedback. thx.

This story contains: VERY poopy diaper, mentions of throw up, fluff

{ dadrry - husband!harry - softrry - Rayne is two weeks old - au harry }

word count- 1,590

Your two week old daughter wakes up in the middle of the night with her first diaper blowout and when Harry realizes the situation is much bigger than he can handle alone, he resorts to waking you up for some help.

You and Harry just welcomed your little baby girl, Rayne, two weeks ago into this world. The labor process was one you'd rather forget but after seeing your little bundle of joy for the first time, you knew you'd do it a million times over just to have your baby.

Rayne makes you both first time parents but honestly Harry and yourself read every parenting book under the sun and went to every parenting class that when she was born everything came so natural to you.

Every cry and ounce of discomfort she lets out does of course cause anxiety to fill you, but luckily once she's in one of your arms, Rayne's little body relaxes and she knows everything is going to be alright now that one of her parents are holding her.

One thing you knew you'd expect after Rayne was born was how amazing Harry would be at fathering your baby girl. He was so attentive during your entire pregnancy process and now two weeks after she was born, it's still the same attentive man but ten times more.

Harry has always wanted to be a dad so you making him one was the best gift anyone has ever gave to him. He's eternally grateful for you in that aspect. Seeing Rayne be born and hearing her first cry into this world made him sob so loud in the delivery room that it startled all the nurses who was present.

Now just because you love being parents doesn't mean it's not hard. It's very hard at times. The lack of sleep. The sore boobs after not feeding or pumping for a few hours. The raw nipples from feeding so frequently that no one warns you about. But luckily Rayne is a pretty well behaved baby so you are grateful for that.

------------------------

It's two in the morning when the wailing cry from Rayne's nursery jolts Harry awake. He was never the heaviest sleeper before she was born but now he's an even lighter sleeper. Not wanting to disturb you, he gets out of bed and assumes he can handle the situation himself. Feeling confident he's a pro at this dad thing.

If she's hungry there was pre pumped breast milk in the freezer he could feed her. If she just wanted a cuddle he could give her some of those because he likes to think of himself as a professional cuddler, though you're the one who gave him that title.

As quickly as possible, Harry pads his feet in the dark until he reaches the hallway and rushes over to the baby's nursery down the hall. When he finally makes it, he flips the light switch on and moves swiftly over to her crib. "Hey," Harry coos in his soft baby voice, "what's the matter, little love? Huh?"

Once Harry is right in front of the crib, he goes to lift the small baby up to hold her and asses what could have her crying so hard in the middle of the night when all of the sudden he sees, and rather smells the issue instantly. Poop. Everywhere. Well luckily not near her hands or face but it's leaked out of her diaper and got on her sheets. Rayne had her first diaper blowout.

Now Harry would like to say that after becoming a husband and a father that his stomach is made of steal but that's just not the case. He can handle a little throw up from time to time and has changed Rayne's diapers several times. But none smelled and looked this bad. It has him holding down gags.

Being the good dad he is though, Harry pushes through his own weak stomach and grabs an extra baby blanket to wrap around her small body and lift her out of the crib. Then he scrambles to think of what to do. He really didn't want to wake you up but this is far too much for him to handle on his own.

He shushes Rayne in his hold while making his way back into your bedroom. Harry turns on the lamp and nudges your shoulder gently. "Love, Y/N, wake up f'me."

Thinking the worst, you jolt awake and sit up quickly. "What, what, is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"

Trying not to let a giggle out at the situation in hand, Harry replies, "Yeah, well I think everythin' is okay. Or will be okay but I need your help. Little miss Rayne shit everywhere and I don't know what to do. It's leaking out her nappy and got on her sheets."

Though you are concerned about your baby's tummy troubles, you can't help but laugh out loud. Harry looks so stressed which isn't inherently funny but the way you can tell he's trying not to throw up at the thought of the diaper blowout is hilarious. And the fact he had to wake you up.

"Don't laugh at me!" Harry retorts, not really mad because he has a small smile trying to peek out over his fake frown.

"Alright, it's gonna be okay. Help strip her clothes off and yours as well and I'll help you wash her in the shower." you respond as its the only solution to the problem right now. Harry carries her to your bathroom and begins to peel away the soiled blanket and her soiled onesie. Then he takes her diaper off to throw it in the trash can beside the toilet.

"You think I should shower with her naked?" Harry asks.

You reach in the shower to get the water going and the temperature just right before answering, "Yes H, she's two weeks old. She's not gonna remember seeing her dad naked. You'll get shit on her boxers otherwise."

With that, Harry holds a dirty and naked Rayne with one hand and his other hand reaches down to slide off his underwear. When you confirm the water is just perfect for a newborn, he steps in the shower with her cradled to his chest and allows you to instruct further instructions.

"Okay I'm not getting in but I'll hand you the soaps and stuff. First rinse her off with the water. The pressure shouldn't bother her. Just don't get it in her face." Harry does as told and carefully turns to face the shower head and allow the water to rinse off any poop she still had on hers and his skin. He even turns Rayne around in his hold to get her front really well rinsed.

You grab her baby soap and apply some to a soft cloth before handing it to your husband. "Here, now gently wash her bottom off. But start from the front to back so she doesn't get a UTI, please."

Though Harry already knew how to safely wash a baby girl he listened to you anyways. He takes the soapy cloth from you and while one arm cradles Rayne to his chest facing forward, the other hand very gently wipes over her vagina, making sure no poop got on the area. Then he hands the cloth back to you so he can turn her around in his hold.

While he washes over her bum area, Rayne just now starts to cry. She had been handling the shower really well up until now. "Oh, shush. It's okay. Daddy's got you." Harry coos to the small baby in his arms. As you stand on the outside of the shower doors all you can think about is how much you love them both so much. Snapping you out of your thoughts, Harry looks over to you and says, "All done. Take her from me while I wash up quickly."

"Yeah, of course. Let me grab Rayne's baby towel." You get a towel from the stack of towels specifically for your newborn and walk back over to the shower where Harry leans out the shower doors and carefully places her in your arms.

While you began to dry off your small, crying baby, Harry bathes himself off. Some poop did transfer onto him and he wants to make sure it's all gone and he's clean before going back to sleep for the night.

------------------------

Once Harry is all clean and dry and he's put on a fresh pair of briefs you'd laid out for him, he walks back into the bedroom to see you sat up in bed, half asleep, with Rayne feeding from your right boob. The sight makes Harry feel all warm inside. The people he loves the most just looks so comfy and safe.

Harry rolls the bassinet over to his side of the bed and when Rayne is done feeding and you burp her, he places her inside to finish her sleep for the night. Her bed still had shit on it and that's something neither of you have the energy to deal with tonight. When he's made sure she's all nice and cozy in her bassinet, Harry climbs back into bed beside you and you instantly crawl over to cuddle into him.

Once the bedside lamp is off and the covers are over you both snuggly, you whisper, "Love you. Thank you for helping with Rayne tonight. She has the best daddy in the world."

Harry whispers back, "Love you too, baby. And you're welcome. She means the world to me and I'd do anything for her. And you too, you know. Night, night. Sweet dreams." With that, you're both off to slumberland until Rayne wakes up again three hours later....

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[bbhyeoliskooks]

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞» - PT. TWO

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part one out here!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst

Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? i’m so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it 😭😭 and for the anon who requested this bc there wasn’t a notif- keah accidentally deleted it 😭😭. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it 😌💕)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you must’ve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.

How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasn’t sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how you’d frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didn’t seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didn’t go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasn’t the point!

In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone he’s ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You weren’t easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldn’t possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldn’t have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!

Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.

Perhaps it was the way you looked that night- he could say- however, it was more than that. With your adoring, sparkling eyes that weren’t easy to miss and your stunning, contagious smile that caused ripples of happiness to fly across the room, he couldn’t blame anyone for falling in love with you. After all, he was a victim of it himself so there was no way he could’ve not in the end. All of those things were true especially, but taking in everything to account as well hanging out with you, your unique individual beauty meant nothing.

He just loved you for you. Loved? No, not loved. Loves. He still loves you for you, and he was a fool to realize it this late. He just lost the best thing in his life due to his stupidity; he knew fully well that you couldn’t ever bring yourself to talk to him face-to-face again if the two of you met again. Would you two even come to meet in the first place? That was the true question here. He and you both knew that due to your resistance and remorse for what happened last weekend that you would never permit yourself to see him. Like he said, he couldn’t blame you for that either.

And yet, why is he trying to convince himself that he’s the only one for you? Your every smile was originally because of him, but now... but now, you’d never let him hear that for one, last time. He couldn’t redo his mistakes of the past of hurting you even if he promised never to do that again. And judging this situation, destiny wouldn’t allow that to happen anyway. With all of your encounters, it seemed as if they all turned out the same way. Everything was ripped into shreds.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Wait, so you sLEPT WITH HIM?!” Soobin’s voice reached to a dangerous while the two of you paced around the hallways together, trying to quietly talk about last weekend until he so rudely screamed about your untrue administrations. You clasped your hand over his mouth in instinct, punching his shoulder as a warning to keep quiet or else. His body heaved with hearty chuckles while you screamed, telling him to keep his voice down so that you could truly tell him the whole story.

“Soobin! That’s not true; I wouldn’t do anything like that, ever!”

“Well, he’s your ex- and he’s hot, so why wouldn’t you sleep with him?!”

Now some of the students subtly shuffled around to eavesdrop on your conversation, and you groaned at the newfound attention. Just what were you thinking about telling him when sometimes he could contradict himself to be this loud?! It was steaming tea, yes, but no one else had to hear about it! You should’ve told him this stuff at lunch when the two of you were alone.

Swiftly pulling Soobin to the vacant hallway where thankfully no one else was walking, you made sure to keep your voice to a faint hush. You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but you couldn’t risk involving anyone else in this personal matter. Students passed by all around you in the other hallway, holding conversations and walking in groups which was a good sign you could actually speak normally since no one was paying attention anymore.

“So did you or did you not?” He mused, ruffling the top of your head. You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes at his playfulness when the gravity of the situation needed to be comprehended instead.

“Soobin, I told you we never slept together in that sense last weekend. We were both drunk and shared the same bed! It doesn’t mean anything and we aren’t going to get back together,” you held your breath through those words as you watched the amused smile on his face turn into a pitiful, pouting lip. His adorable puppy dog eyes that were begging you not to get mad at him didn’t seem to work now, and you found yourself telling him off even if you didn’t mean to in the first place.

“You’re so stupid for thinking that, you know?! Yeonjun’s a jerk, I have no clue why I ever got with that bastard in the first place! God, if you never let us meet together then you know I would’ve been happy now. Just why did everything have to turn out this way?!”

The walls of your heart you tried so hard to buttress through your words and actions crumbled with every second you spoke, disintegrating into pure dust the moment your voice leveled to reach your anger. Your chest was trembling as you choked out the last few words, unable to say anything anymore as a lump appeared in your throat. You hated being weak in front of him the most because he’s seen you so many times like this before and he’d very clearly think of you as a crybaby.

He seemed to understand this, shooting you a gently smile as some small encouragement. It was that smile that urged you to snap out of your evil trance immediately. For saying all those rude things to him, it was contradictory since at that very moment you wanted to take everything back. The guilt ate you up in an instant once you took in his dumbfound yet soft expression, causing you to envelope him in a warm embrace as contrition. He never deserved this treatment when it wasn’t even his fault anyway.

“I... I’m sorry, Soobin. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s just so hard on me now since I know I shouldn’t have done that with him last weekend. We didn’t do a lot, and yet I still want to say that I love him...? Even now I won’t allow myself to cry and be weak but,” your voice faltered as your body slightly shivered, “I can’t do it. I just can’t be strong anymore. It’s so hard.”

Soobin sighed, generously allowing you to lean on him like last time. You were so strong- you had always been so strong in front of him, and it hurt him to see that you were slowly breaking no matter how much you tried to stop it. He could see right through the so called smile you shot him this morning as soon as you saw him. He knew right then and there that something happened to you during the weekend and when he heard it was all about Yeonjun... he had to contain himself not to beat up his best friend or else the friendship he treasured dearly would crash, fall, and wouldn’t withstand.

However, the truth remained. Little by little, you were shattering due to Yeonjun’s actions and he could only watch helplessly as you flew freely to the ground. It was an understatement to say that he was starting to hate his best friend for doing this to you, but in the end he believed you. If you did it before, then you could do it again right? And you knew that Soobin was always right there for you no matter what.

Last month you gave it your all in order to move on. He truly admired that you kept running and running towards the future even if you felt that there was no end, a quality he secretly cherished of you. As a person, you were strong in your own way and Soobin was proud of you. He just didn’t know how to say it now without making the bright atmosphere droop. It was always like this whenever a problem with your relationship arose. He brought you closer to his arms.

“You’re not weak at all for crying, Y/N. I think you’ve been holding it for too long now. You’re always welcome to come to me, alright? I’ll save you from that stupid Yeonjun and make you happier than he ever has! You deserve someone much better. You and I both know this.”

He wiped your every tear which streamed against your cheek with his thumb gently, and somehow you finally smiled. Ardent, genuine, and sincere, your smile was enough to cause another one of his own towards you, a great deal of blinding happiness all around you. You were sure Soobin was waiting for this after a while, although it came out at a surprising time. You didn’t expect it either.

This was another feeling you couldn’t ever get enough of, for it reminded you of the time when Yeonjun asked you to be his... but comparing it to this wasn’t right at all.

No words were spoken between the two of you, but it really did mean a great deal of comfort to you. How could he offer up this ample amount of support towards you? You made a promise to yourself to make it up to him one day.

A few minutes later, you reluctantly pulled away from his sweet hug to check the time on your phone. You weren’t sure how long you’d been holding each other like this (and you really did enjoy it), but if you kept dawdling then you would miss every single afternoon class. Your eyes scanned through the upper numbers.

Crap. You already missed the first few minutes!

You scrambled to get yourself off him, pulling your bag over your shoulder in a haste. “Wait, I’ll tell you the details later!” You waved your hand for a flimsy goodbye, rushing to get every paper in your bags in check. It was a pathetic bye, that was for sure. You rushed out before Soobin could even mutter a bye, hoping to get there in good time so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Oh, well. You’ll see him later.

Your footsteps faded away little by little and yet another set rippled through his ears through little clacks on the spotless floor. He wondered if you were coming back to ask him something but before he could turn around, sweet words that were due to a familiar tone made his heart stop in place.

“Please, take care of her for me.”

...

Upon hearing that voice Soobin halted in his tracks, looking back at a pair of warm, brown eyes that met his own. By the looks of it, he heard everything you said. Not to mention that it was the second time the boy eavesdropped at that.

“Soobin, please? You can date her even if it hurts but just please... if I can’t look after her, then who else’ll take her to her favorite restaurant?”

The pleas did not matter to him all the more, if he was being honest. This game was something he didn’t want to be involved in but looks like fate had its plans. It was obvious now. He hated this and although he said you deserved better, it was clear that the two of you were destined to be together.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

The door clamorously creaked as soon as you entered, making you cringe at the sudden but minimal heads that turned towards you. You shyly offered up a smile, reorganizing the books in your hands to pass off some of the attention somewhere else. Some of the people there were doing their own things and focused on talking to each other to an extent. You sighed gratefully. Thankfully you could sit alone at a spot where no one would notice you at the top of the row.

After you wondered where the rest of the students were and the professor whom you searched for in every direction, you gave up with a relieving drop of your shoulders and decided to sit down. Glancing at the time, you muttered how stupid you were under your breath for reading the clock wrong. You were fortunately five minutes earlier, but looks like you have to wait now until the lesson starts.

Getting situated in your spot was an easy thing and you toyed with your phone when you heard a shuffling of clothes sitting next to you on the right. It wasn’t such a good time to be socializing right now since you felt like crap but if you were going to make new friends, you might as well do so now. After all, college was supposed to be a good experience minus all the endless assignments and projects to prepare for your future.

You managed to steal a look at the person who sat right next to you but became paralyzed in your spot when you realized who it was, whipping your head where you wouldn’t be able to get distracted by him. That dazzling, blue hair was unmistakable. And the perfect, rosy lips were too! How could you not be tainted when he chose to sit next to you?! Seeing as the latter was impossible when you heard his deep voice murmur the words ‘good morning,’ a bead of sweat collected at your forehead. He was never this bold before after you broke up, and you pondered if he wanted to be good friends again after what happened. The audacity was unbelievable.

You couldn’t understand why he’d choose to be beside you when there were many more other open spots in the room. He must’ve been mocking you, making fun of you after how weak you looked a few days before.

The question was though, why the hell was he sitting right there?! Right next to you?! You could feel the words becoming stuck in your throat as you choked out a good morning back, too anxious to say anything or else it’d initiate a conversation between the two of you. That was the least thing you wanted to do as of now, wasting all your energy on the time spent convincing yourself he’d make up some small talk. That time however never came, and you were left politely smiling at the one and only Choi Yeonjun when you randomly found him staring at you.

The professor finally arrived, lifting off a heavy burden on your chest when you could’ve been dreading the lesson instead. You should’ve left before as to not create any conflict, but anymore absences and your future would’ve been as good as dead. Although you could look at the bright side now! Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to talk to you or else he’d miss some important things which would in turn affect his grades. You threw a grateful smile towards the center of the cavernous room, becoming a little bit relaxed even if some part of you was still freaking out he was that close to you.

The class was a blur, pointless information echoing throughout the room you didn’t care to learn since you were dozing off. Your mind was too busy looking back at the events that went down last weekend, becoming more tired with every second that passed. It was hard to get your brain off that addicting stuff called overthinking every single time you caught Yeonjun staring at you with tender, soft eyes. Simultaneously, you were hoping no one would call you out for daydreaming of what could’ve been, so you hid behind a tall person’s blonde head, hoping not to be caught.

Sadly, you were brought back to the room when a chorus of sighs collected together to make a violin whimper of disappointment.

“You will be working with the person beside you on the right,” the professor declared, clearing their throat while most of the class groaned altogether. Wait so that means...

In an instant, everything seemed way too overheated in the room now. Were you the only one feeling hot or what?! You knew fully what was supposed to come next since you were the only two sitting on the top, the rest of the bottom being filled out by tons of people who were tuning in to the lesson.

Sometimes life doesn’t work the way we want it to. That itself was obvious. Otherwise you’d be somewhere else being happy instead of working with this jerk!

You couldn’t help the frustration of curses you thought in your head, glaring at the boy who was giggling cutely to himself.

“Oh, looks like you’re paired up with me! I can’t wait to work with you, Y/N~” The tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat, the all too familiar teasing getting to your head. As you expected, whatever he said would have an effect on you, instantly making you heat up at how true that statement was.

Smiling, you gulped, feeling too parched all of a sudden. God only knows how much you wanted to get out of there right away. You were dying not to embarrass yourself, collecting your books together as you slathered a polite tone to your voice. Somehow you got the words out despite making clear eye contact with him way too long for your own good. It felt so wrong to say he was a masterpiece but it felt so right to keep looking at him like this.

“Where should we work?” Yeonjun asked once more.

He leaned closer to you, leaning on his hand as he maintained an direct, intent gaze. Your lips formed into a straight line, hopelessly wishing he wouldn’t see how much of a mess you were in front of him. Then he licked his lips. That was the end of you! He and you both knew that it was meant to be flirtatious. Your ears burned at the sight. Well that was enough to be looking at his eyes now! You foolishly turned away.

“Hmm, how about we meet at the bakery everyday at five? Are you okay with that?” Yeonjun suggested, raising an eyebrow to comprehend your unsure expression. You nodded your head acceptingly, albeit a bit defeated. He shouldn’t have been expecting anything. You were fine with whatever place you could meet up by, but didn’t he know that you weren’t fine working with him?!

After the quiet and easily awkward atmosphere, you turned on your heel getting up from the exhausting spot. It was much too uncomfortable for you to plan out a schedule with him, and second you weren’t able to catch the directions with him chatting it up a bunch.

Of course you wanted to be mature about the situation, but it was impossible for you. If it was another person, then you would’ve been fine. You could ask around but that itself was scary too. Your heart was in a tugging predicament with you in between, and you weren’t sure what to choose. Seems like Yeonjun was your only choice now. It would’ve helped you move on but with him right there, it would be harder to really think about yourself for once. You shot him one more look, hoping it would be the last.

“Yeonjun, don’t think you’re fooling me with this flirting. You know I can’t work with you after what you said. I’m sorry, but find someone else who’ll be open to being your partner.” You opted to get up from your seat, trying to dash away as quickly and quietly as possible until he said something that made you paralyzed as you got up.

“Y/N, please wait!”

Suddenly the world stopped and in it, you could only see the two of you with Yeonjun clinging gently to you.

He grabbed your arm before you could move to another seat, holding on tightly just to make you stay. You winced at how warm it was compared to your shaking arm, avoiding his vulnerable eyes due to embarrassment. You didn’t know how you were supposed to do this project anyway when you couldn’t even look at him in the first place.

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done whatever we did while we were drunk and bothered you like that. Just... can you work with me this once? I want you to get a good grade with me.”

Gradually, his words became inaudible at the end, as if too ashamed to say it out loud. It was an understatement to say what he said was surprising. Therefore you couldn’t help but gasp at how vulnerable he got when you tried to move away from him when you thought he would’ve let you go after what happened. It was clearly too much for you to see his adorable puppy dog eyes, glistening and sparkling with sincerity when you safely decided to look back at him, feeling weak in the knees with uncertainty of what to say.

And although you wanted to say no so badly, you spoke without thinking and murmured something only he could hear.

“Okay then... Let’s do well.”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Before you knew it, five pm rolled by and you were face-to-face at the bakery where Yeonjun was waiting for you. At this point, you were reluctant to go through with this since you could easily say you hadn’t found anyone to do the project with. But knowing that the teacher was stubborn and hardheaded when they made plans like these, it would be impossible to convince him to let you work alone. Plus, you actually got ready instead of throwing your favorite hoodie this time! You couldn’t let all your extra effort and special preparing to go to waste just because it was Yeonjun.

And gosh, you just had to remind yourself it was Yeonjun again.

The advances were simple. You had brought all your heavy books relating to the subject, hoping they’d be able to help but now all they seemed to do was weigh you down from getting the door. The wind was heartless, sending icy gusts through your clothes as you heaved out a sigh. It would’ve been good if you just left now instead. But this would only make matters worse. You swiped your phone again, purposely ignoring the contact name of ‘Stupid Mean Jerk Jjuniebug.’ He hadn’t texted you yet saying he was there so you hesitated a tiny bit before reaching for the golden door handle and eventually going inside.

The warm smell of cookies, cakes, and a variety of baked breads welcomed your nose, making the corners of your lips turn up with satisfaction. Out of all the distractions in the world, the Boulangerie was such a perfect place to go to do anything, really. If it wasn’t for your stupid project, you’d probably relax and enjoy a cup of your favorite drink paired with one of the delights they had here! It sounded like flawless idea. Happily, you made a mental memorandum in your head to plan out a day with Soobin where the two of you could hang out and tell stories to each other. He would definitely enjoy this place because of all of the bread you could order.

Surprisingly, Yeonjun was there already and you assumed he was writing something important down due to the determined expression on his face. He furrowed an eyebrow, slightly biting is lip while you inched towards him. You couldn’t help the smile that arose on your cheeks because of how endearing he looked as he worked hard, holding tightly to the books in your arms when you finally came close to him.

He looked up from his little notes of hearts and bunnies he was doodling as soon as a pair of shoes made unpretentious clitter-clacks, eyes lighting up with admiration when he realized that it was you standing there.

“I ordered your favorite dessert while waiting for you. Do you still like it?”

The words got stuck in your throat. He got you something? He must’ve been thinking of your arrival too attentively otherwise there’s no way that was true, but gosh did Yeonjun prove you wrong in a second.

Glancing at the sweets before you paired with a dainty teacup of your favorite drink, a gasp left your lips that embodied awe since he still remembered what you liked to order whenever you came to the Boulangerie with him. The snow white lace of the table fabric created flashbacks in your mind and you tensed up in realization. You hadn’t come here in two months- the last time you were able to picture your last date with him. Although, that wasn’t the point at all.

You were not to be expecting anything after the two of you separated even if the two of you were exes. It was just in Yeonjun’s moral codes in life to be kind to anybody and especially you whenever he please just because it was normal to him. You adored how pure he was, but at the same time you couldn’t shake how he acted towards you almost two months ago. That hostile expression on his face- one you’d never seen before- couldn’t ever be erased from your memory no matter how much effort you put in it.

But the past was the past. No bad things could happen like that now, could it? It was all because the two of you broke up. You were exes.

And yet, you could smile freely like nothing of the sort happened towards the two of you. After all, it was the right thing to do wasn’t it? Yeonjun would’ve wanted you to do that too, you knew it deep inside despite desiring to deny it. To move on and not have any feelings of pent up frustration and anger towards each other. Joy swelled in your heart at how much maturity you were gaining because of heartbreak. Maybe the two of you could be friends. Maybe.

“Thank you so much for doing this even if you didn’t have to, Yeonjun. I’m surprised you even came since your friends are much more interesting than me. I’m glad that you did though.”

You decided to take a bite in the delicacy, immediately not regretting the dulcet decision as you relished in the simple sweetness that came with it. Honestly, you missed this wonderful, mouth watering taste so much! Just like what you remembered, you shut your eyes in pure content, not being able to take in the sight of the boy in front of you who chuckled to himself.

Yeonjun heaved a breath of amusement from his chest, cheek laying down on his hand again as his eyes showed nothing but the sincere feeling of endearment towards you. He shifted comfortably on his side, grabbing one of the crimson, bright strawberries from his plate as he bit onto the juicy tip of it.

“You know, you’re always cute when you smile like that,” he whispered, not caring whether or not you heard it- which you obviously did.

You puffed your cheeks out at this.

“Shut up...! We’re here for a project, remember? Not to... flirt, silly.”

The mischievous yet saccharine grin on his face made you flustered and you glanced away from him, pretending to look at the tray of enclosed desserts that you saw when you first entered the bakery. You couldn’t allow yourself to become distracted like this! Not to mention that looking at him straight through doesn’t seem to help either!

“Oh, but when I look at you I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’m being serious here; I just really can’t seem to take my eyes off you.”

The slamming yet gentle sound of you slamming the spoon you were holding on the table gave everything away and his eyes turned into euphoric crescents that only signaled delight.

“Yeonjun, I said shut your trap. All these cheesy compliments and I’ll... we have to do our project, so please cooperate and let’s put our work together to actually do something good.” You pulled your books together in a pile, acting as if you were really doing something in order to distract him from teasing you. The raging beat of your heart begged to differ, so you hoped he wouldn’t hear it or else that would give him another reason to make you flustered.  

“As you wish, princess. We’ll work so well together that you’ll miss me once I drop you home!”

Princess...?

He’ll drop you home...?

You groaned in annoyance at the nickname and offer although you kind of enjoyed it, wanting to smack Yeonjun in the mouth for not listening to your request. He must’ve been deaf or something because the whole time he kept throwing coy phrases you’d never heard before or trying to whine about how much work it all was for the two of you.

You were only starting to understand how annoying he was whenever he got cranky and dozed off for thirty minutes, leaving you to search through all those books and gather information yourself which was luckily a lot of help. It was a nice silence for a while but once he got back to annoying you endlessly, you swore you could rip all your hair off from the frustration building up from inside of you.

How were you going to do a week of working with him when you couldn’t even look at him in the eye every time he made pouty, kissing lips? Or take him seriously whenever he called you a pet name for that matter? You wished future you the best luck, unfortunately not knowing what would arrive in the times to come.

...

“Hey, could you look at this for a second? I’m having trouble if I should or more exactly- how I should put this down when it makes no sense.”

You laughed at how clueless he was when it came to his favorite subject, shuffling right beside him to see what he was struggling with. It was too natural, too suspicious for the both of you not to know this. You contained the snickers of mock once you put it all together, silently calling him stupid in your head for not being able to jot down this simple effortless thing. You twisted your body towards the notes, enough for your shoulders to meet together.

Little did you know that Yeonjun only wanted you to come close to him, and it was more than suffice to say it worked out in his favor.

You were explaining everything to him but the only thing he could focus on was the little things about you. The bitty, endearing gestures of your hands while you connected two of the subjects, the way your chest heaved up and down when you took a tiny breath of air, and even how your lips opened and closed was enough for Yeonjun’s fluffy cheeks to heat up and bloom into a rosy red. The words droned off as it echoed between the two of you, easily becoming pointless since he wasn’t paying attention anyway.

A couple of seconds passed between the two of you when the bakery suddenly became silent, and he gripped the pencil he dropped earlier on the table as you shot him a shy smile. Yeonjun’s knuckles became white with every second his stare lingered on you. You were way too cute for your own good, and you didn’t even know it- so why was he surprised? He, too, was hoping you wouldn’t be able to notice the aggressive thumping in his chest.

“Yeonjun? You got all of that, right?” Your symphony-like voice snapped him from out of his trance.

“Okay, then I’ll put that down,” he breathed tiredly.” It looks like he was getting exhausted too, huh? You were about to say a few words of encouragement until he cut you off with his own.

“We’re almost done researching; just hang in there, alright? You’ve been doing so well, Y/N.”

The gentle, supporting words was enough to send ripples through your heart and you nodded your head, all the while checking through what you noted and what you forgot. You wanted to keep thinking about what he said and how it motivated you to keep going. You didn’t want to upset you and most definitely not him. However, the fatigue coating your eyes was too much and you slowly closed the heavy lids, head slowly turning to the side before you fell on something all too familiar.

A sudden yet light weight on his shoulder made him look up from what he was writing down, stunning him in his spot when he saw you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He must’ve known that this much thinking wore you out after such a long while. A tender smile decorated his lips and he took in your every feature, hoping to draw out the face that made him feel alive.

“She’s so cute...” He grabbed his jacket from the side he’d taken off earlier, laying it gently upon you with his other hand as if it was something he’d done since the beginning of time. You nuzzled your cheek against his way too comfortable shoulder, becoming more snug with each minute that passed by. He couldn’t help the skip in his heartbeat when you muttered his favorite nickname in your sleep, this ‘Jjuniebug’ being much more different compared to the past because he knew you were dreaming of him.

When such a sight like this was to be treasured by anyone, he decided he didn’t want to work anymore. Like the gentleman he was, he gathered your books together, pushing your plate to the side before laying his head against yours. He intertwined your hands with his, grinning gently from ear to ear at the warmness he felt from inside.

He stole one more glance at you, fingers delicately dancing from your cheekbone all the way to your chin, tracing your jaw as gingerly as he could. This was what he was hoping for after such a long time of not receiving it. That itself was rightfully so, yet having you near meant the world and so much more to him.

Then he glanced out the window where rain was drizzling, creating a dreading gray atmosphere which was nothing but chaos. It could’ve been something that alerted him on such a dreary day, making him anxious at how he was going to get home in a mess. But to him, he wouldn’t trade this peaceful present. Always, he wanted to be close to you like this. It couldn’t have been too much to ask, honestly.

“Tell me,” he said to no one in particular, “how can you make a moment last forever?”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Tuesday passed as quickly as Monday did and you swiftly got prepared for five pm later. You were bouncing with excitement, ready to see the boy who’d been waiting for you over at the library, a place you decided together when he texted you during lunch break. To be true to yourself, you couldn’t wait to work with him. All day you were waiting for the horrid, slow hours to pass of lectures and countless assignments online, lingering silently through the minutes that seemed to go by forever in hopes that everything would go faster. The relief you felt when you were dismissed for the day and the joy that swelled in your heart when you went home, preparing yourself as best you could.

You didn’t understand why you were buzzing with energy over meeting someone like this, for wasn’t it true the two of you were exes? Two months ago you broke up; that was quite obvious. It didn’t help that and that number one: he was a jerk after a while of dating you, and number two: he was probably playing with your heart if you decided to be smart. But then again you always rewarded that guilty pleasure by saying the past was the past and he bought you your favorite delicacy. He may have hurt you before and because of that, you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever date him ever again.

With that thought in mind you threw your favorite outfit on that you planned just the night before, looking in the mirror twice just to make sure you looked okay. Deep down you knew it was a lie to say you weren’t doing these special things for him, trying to convince yourself that in doing so- this dressing up would do your ego a favor. Yeonjun didn’t have to see this, not at all! It was all because you wanted to look decent. Just that.

So sneakily, you crept out of the house while slipping your shoes on since nobody would notice you were gone. You checked your phone at least twice before opening the door, clearly not ready for the surprising sight your eyes landed upon as soon as you left home.

In front of you was the boy who had taken your mind captive all day, smiling from ear to ear as his fingers combed gently through his blue hair.

You gasped at how he actually came to your house after teasing yesterday that he would, but you never knew he’d carry out his plan. He would keep poking your cheek while saying something under his breath like how he’d visit you one day to pick you up. He would never do that, right? Well no, you were extremely wrong and just a day after your project date went well.

Nonetheless, you couldn’t stop the touched grin on your face to know he was waiting for you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he shyly giggled and that itself made your heart skip a beat, “let’s walk to the library together today, alright? Wait, let me take your books, please!”

Even with your protests and several no’s, he still took your books and placed it snugly against his left arm, teasing about how light they were together. You glared at him for a second before taking a few steps when he suddenly grabbed your hand.

You turned around, eyes wide in a daze.

“What is it?”

An overwhelming heat rose up to your cheeks and ears, making you feel hot in the face as you realized he was still holding on.

“If it isn’t too much to ask, can I hold your hand today? I really miss the warm feeling you gave me last summer.”

He held his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it on your own accord. You easily obliged- albeit a bit hesitantly- putting your hand against his and allowing him to guide you to wherever- whenever he wanted. The way his eyes lit up as he lead you to the place was precious, making you feel soft with endearment at how gentle he treated you.

Now this? This was bad. So, so bad.

On the day you left Yeonjun’s house in tears, you weren’t expecting any of this to happen. You weren’t sure how you could trust him so easily after everything he’s done- maybe it was the way you felt his sincerity in every smile he sent you or how tenderly he had grabbed your hand just now, but the happiness bottling up inside you did not lie. You felt pure jubilation whenever you saw him.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Wednesday.

Wednesday, the middle of the school days where you desperately wanted to claw your eyes out from how tedious everything was. Wednesday, a day where nothing significant happened but nothing too horrible happened either. Wednesday, a reminder that you only had two days left- counting today and Thursday- to work with Yeonjun. You hated the bitter taste of having to really say goodbye, but the future had to be on the brighter side then. After this, you swore you wouldn’t ever see him and his damn handsome face for another accidental time.

Just about reaching four in the afternoon, you decided to go with Soobin over to the Boulangerie where you’d been promising yourself to take him since Monday. It was luck on your side today that you actually went out for some fresh air, carrying out some of the awaiting plans you had on your checklist. Sometimes it was nice to have a breather in the middle of the week when everything else was distracting.

It started off as usual, and you realized you hadn’t seen him since that very day of hearing Yeonjun’s offer to be your partner. To be quite honest, you didn’t really think about telling him since it shouldn’t be that important, but the boy knew it was important just by from the hesitance in your expressions. His fingers placed the glass filled with chocolate milk on the table gently and curiously prodded.

“Y/N? You’ve been acting strange lately; is everything okay?”

You glanced up from the china plate, eyes widening with surprise. You weren’t sure what he was talking about. It couldn’t have been anything important, could it? Or were you being so obvious about your giant, giant problem?

“Yeah, everything is fine, Bin! Trust me, there isn’t anything going wrong but I guess you could say that... from your perspective.”

You made sure to look at the way he reacted and seeing how his head titled with wonder, you chose to give it a try.

“Well... I should’ve called you about this but I’m working with Yeonjun for a project. We have to turn it in by Friday, but we’ve been doing stuff on it since Monday. It doesn’t mean anything though, and we’re supposed to meet up at the park (Moonlight) today.” You intentionally left out the fact he asked you and those sweet moments since you were afraid of his reaction.

You knew he was one to be respectful and kind no matter the person, although because of all this tugging back and forth between his best friends- you couldn’t blame him for wanting to sock either one of you for being so stupid. And stupid were you and Yeonjun for not being able to get enough of each other, at least that’s how you viewed it. Soobin wouldn’t dare to hurt either one of you since the two of you were best friends; physically wouldn’t cut it. You hoped he would just remain patient like he’d always have- one thing you were grateful for, obviously, instead of freaking out at the recent moments you’ve experienced.

That being said, the look on Soobin’s face was absolutely priceless once you told him about your predicament.

“You two? On a project? TOGETHER?!”

Glumly you nodded your head, expecting him to say something but his mouth was filled with shock to the brim that he couldn’t even bring himself to say anything.

“Yup, that’s true. You didn’t know about it?” To say the least, you were surprised he didn’t know about it since Yeonjun was one to trust him about everything. Little things like this would count, yes, and you could very vividly remember how he blabbed to Soobin when you first started dating about how to keep a girl on her period happy.

In response, he shook his head, hand still glued covering his mouth. Your lips slightly turned upwards at his melodramatic feedback.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything at all about it! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?”

Ouch, that stung. But at the same time, what were you expecting?

“That’s a surprise. I thought he couldn’t keep his mouth--”

The deafening, shuffling sound of the store bell rang throughout your ears, causing you to shudder at the intermittent sound. This was a popular Boulangerie so you didn’t need to be surprised whenever a new customer came in, but it stunned you at the worst times. You shrugged at Soobin’s suddenly ghost white reaction, thinking he was just kidding with you again and went back to the cup of a refreshing drink. Honestly, you couldn’t care less about it unless it was someone you knew.

You lifted the cup to pass through your lips until the familiar sight of messy radiant, blue hair caught the peripheral vision of your eye.

It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else.

“Y-Yeonjun...?”

As your heart dropped to your stomach, your voice broke out gently, making you the only person to hear it muffled with both distress and disbelief. There was no possible way you were witnessing what was happening in front of you. You didn’t want to believe it, squinting your eyes over and over again just to get a good look. It was still him no matter what you did, no matter what you changed.

Somehow, he didn’t notice you.

He sat down at a table, sending a sugary smile towards an alluring girl who sent him the same one back. Your back became rigid at the too close proximity of their faces. They chatted for a little bit about anything that could cross their minds, obviously flirting with the stares sent back and forth and back again until it turned into a full discussion- both of them laughing their hearts out. Happiness from the ideal ‘couple’ (as anyone could’ve mistaken them) spread around the Boulangerie contagiously, making everyone awe at the sight of them fully enjoying themselves. But you? You? Your heart shattered piece by piece while watching this play out.

Too many questions flooded in your mind at once as well as too many insecurities, paralyzing you in your spot as you couldn’t find the correct way to breathe again. It was getting too hard to find the air in, you realized. Soobin called your name out many times- to get you to listen, to get you out of your stupid trance, to get you to do anything else in the world but look because it’d hurt you just as much as it did for him!

To this, you were only sitting still, staring and staring like a dormant painting hanging in a museum just to find out that you wouldn’t ever be able to change anything, but only see the people in front of you. You didn’t want to look at the face of pain in front of you but... if you looked away then something else might happen.

You cradled yourself in your arms, trying to stop the icy cold breeze that whirled pass your rips and over to the tips of your toes. It didn’t make sense to you. Why even bother putting effort into winning him back? You wouldn’t be able to be as good enough. You shouldn’t have even tried in the first place.

You gulped down those insecurities again, trying to calm your shaking hands.

It wasn’t possible to be that perfect... not at all. She was such a stunning girl, the epitome of everything you weren’t and what you didn’t have. She had such sparkling eyes, such a gorgeous smile, and not to mention an impeccable complexion that had every single girl in the world jealous. Everything about her was simply perfect and that drowned your own specialties into the deepest ocean called hatred.

Once again you glanced at Yeonjun who seemed to be having fun with the deep chuckles and smiles he was freely giving up. Oh, how bad you wanted it to be you but this reminder was one that gave you a wake up call. You never really had a chance in the first place.

He then turned his head a little to the side, ultimately being able to see you sitting next to Soobin just like you had planned. His honeyed brown eyes changed from smug into something unreadable you couldn’t put your finger on before changing in a split second to look back at the girl.

The decision dawned on you, and you clenched your fists until you felt flashing, white pain run through your fingers.

He didn’t even care.

You were stupid enough to believe he actually liked you back again. You were stupid enough to think that with all these sweet interactions and words, he was warming up to you for another countless time. You were stupid to think he was being truthful that drunken night, saying he needed you clearly as much as you needed him. Finally, you were stupid enough to think he loved you. Now the proof was smack dab in your face, blinding you from your goal of hating him, and you were such a fool to be thinking he would really be yours after such a long while.

The glossy tears gathered in your eyes, angry, frustrated but pointless words with no explanation becoming more stuck in your throat when you glanced once more at the sight across from you. Time passed by through the regal clock, ringing in an ear and out the other. One way or another, you needed to get out of there and you needed it to be now.

You hastily slung your bag filled with papers over your shoulders, making sure you hid the flowing tears from everyone’s sight. Just one turn and he’d probably see you so pitiful at the wrong time. You certainly didn’t want to look pathetic, especially not in front of Yeonjun, whom you still loved with all your heart.

In a dash, you aggressively swiped the entrance of the door handle and into the day where you just wanted to disappear. Bell ringing haphazardly behind you, you weren’t able to perceive you were out of the bakery until another customer ignored your everblooming sadness, struggling behind you to get the door. Tears soon fell on the ground after holding them in for too long, signaling your vulnerability as you crouched down behind the bakery to let everything keeping your heart captive out. This time, for real, you really weren’t going to see him again even if it meant your grades being obliterated.

You hated him. You hated him so much for what he did back there.

And yet here you were, running away from your problems again.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Y/N?”

It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have pressed accept without looking at the contact name. You were just so stupid that it was funny. Just another one of the reasons why he wouldn’t ever want to date you again. How could you blame him for breaking up with you?

“Y/N, you there?”

He was seeing another girl, you should’ve known. Why didn’t you know? Why did you have to be such a fool to be used in the first place? And why the hell were you sad about it when you could be using this opportunity to be getting over him?!

“Y/N, you’re not responding and I’m getting worried. Is there something I can do? Please...?”

You were just exes. Exes, for crying out loud! Exes. That’s all.

“Y/N, if you’re there just-”

“yeah, I’m right here,” you murmured quietly, caring any less that he might have not heard you in the end. If he was able to really see how you accidentally looked at him earlier, then surely he would’ve known how the world crashed on your shoulders just by looking at you. Oh, but it was funny wasn’t it? It didn’t matter anyway. After all, he wouldn’t give a damn right? Not what he did back there he wouldn’t.

Because of that, you realized that this conversation with him was not needed. Whether it was because of the project or if it was for a favor, you wouldn’t be able to do it without looking weak in his eyes. Your finger hovered over the red button, tempted to press hang up until again, his act of using a concerned voice tugged painfully on your heart strings.

“Wait, are you okay? Do you need me to be there? Something’s wrong, I know you’re not okay,” he tried for another time, breathing through the call tiredly as if he was oblivious to what went on earlier. The hate for him smoldered in your chest, and your fingers tightened around the phone so arduously that they turned white, shaking hysterically.

“No, I...” you felt your voice break, and you covered the change in pitch by clearing your throat. With the lump so gigantic that you couldn’t even breathe, it hurt to tell him a lie, much less speak at that moment. You put on a tone to make it more believable. “Everything’s fine. Just busy right now.”

“You’re lying,” he whispered so softly into the receiver you were wondering yourself if you had heard him in the first place. You forced yourself to laugh at his statement, but it came naturally, knowing it was all too true.

“I’m not lying, I promise! I just took a nap, that’s all. No need to be so worked up over me.” You figured that teasing him would be the best way to cover up your sorrow, giggling alongside him because you were so bad at lying. Nonetheless, you hoped he would take this approach, waiting silently on the floor for his best answer.

On the other side he hummed hesitantly, mumbling a few words that you couldn’t quite comprehend because you knew he didn’t want to hear them. You barely noticed you were in the corner holding yourself, rocking back and forth as the anticipation of just hanging up crept up on you.

Before you could start, Yeonjun grumbled in concern.

“Well... okay then. But if you really want to convince me you’re fine then you’ll keep your promise and meet at Moonlight today. We still have a lot to do, so let’s meet up at the usual time. You’ll be there, right?”

“Um... I...”

What else could you say? It would be rude to decline and you weren’t in the mood to lie after all that. Well, he didn’t buy it all but at least he got off the topic. You were thankful to him for not budging, although this had to be one of the worst things he could ever suggest. Not only about how you feel in the end but about the project too. As far as you were concerned, you only a little left so you were able to work separately anyway. He didn’t have to go so far to do things his way, but this would show you he didn’t need you at all.

You spoke on impulse hastily after the long, deafening silence.

“Yeah, okay. S-see you then.”

Abruptly, you hung up before the tears could start again. Not even letting him throw in a sincere goodbye to your predicament.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like what you remembered, Moonlight was still a breathtaking place where the golden sun shone during the day and the moon peeked out from the dim curtains of nighttime. You sighed, staring longingly at the beautiful scenery before you and sat down under one of the trees. It’d been so long since you chose to come here, especially by yourself this time. There were happy memories that came along with this place and you didn’t want to think about the bad ones, of course. However everywhere you looked, it would only remind you of him and that was the least thing you wanted to have at the back of your mind right now.

Checking the time, you made sure you didn’t arrive too early or too late. It was a few minutes after five and true to your word, you actually came. You were surprised at yourself for showing up voluntarily with your mind in such a bad condition, acting as if you were okay just for a stupid project. If you’d done this earlier, you would’ve definitely said no. Perhaps it was the way he was worried about you- although, you thought it was fishy- that you wanted to come. Maybe then you would’ve gotten the attention you wanted after all this time, with this being the final time you’ll see him.

Eventually, you saw the familiar blue haired boy arrive just a quarter after your planned time. He was panting heavily and you swore you almost felt bad for him until the image of him catching eyes with you from earlier rearranged your thought process by miles. You stood up expectantly as he ran over to you, planting his hands on his knees in order to regain breath.

“So sorry for being late, Y/N,” he choked out restlessly, taking your hands into his as an apology. He held them tightly in place, squeezing in an attempt to excuse himself for why he was late. Instantly you gasped at the contact, slowly pulling away so that he wouldn’t realize that you more or less hated his affection. At times when you’d be melting at this, you failed to realize that your suspicions were true and he was playing you behind your back.

A tight lipped smile that screamed passive-aggressiveness became of your lips and you were eager to take a few steps away from him, shuffling to get under the spot you sat earlier. You backed away a little bit but weren’t able to get far because your shoes slipped from something shaped like a square underneath you. The breath was knocked off your lungs as you fell towards the ground and you plunged back, waiting to hit the ground. That is, until someone caught you by the waist.

You opened your eyes after a few seconds of waiting and as soon as you did... you felt all the blood rush up into your face.

“Y-Yeonjun...”

You weren’t expecting anything like this. Nothing sweet like this at all! Said boy was intently gazing at you, holding you by the waist as you were too shocked to say or hell- even do anything with him this close. Your head tilted away to the side this time, trying to think of anything else that would stop the intermittent pace of your heart beats. Gossiping with Soobin about what happened just now, the way you fell at school a few years earlier and embarrassed yourself and how he helped you up out of everyone else right after, the first moment you laid eyes on him and met the blue haired boy just like that... But no, all you could think of was him, him, and only him!

He seemed to be getting a kick out of this, teasing you with an adorable smile that had you awestruck.

“Were you scared...? Don’t worry about it anymore; I’ll always be here to catch you when you fall, I promise.”

It was then that he started to lean in after chuckling at your shyness, bringing your face closer to his as his eyes ran across yours. Your breath quickened just by looking back at him turn towards you- his gorgeous eyelashes that you felt the need to count each, his nose that was sculpted by the angels, his cherry blossom pink lips you so desperately needed- memorizing every valley on his face as you had done earlier when the two of you dated. Oh wait, dated...?

In a moment, you flung yourself off him. What were you doing with him?! Whatever this was and whatever he was doing- it wasn’t right! It just wasn’t right... It wasn’t right when he was choosing to see someone else, and that girl back there no matter how much you couldn’t help but despise her- did not deserve it. It wasn’t right.

Your legs felt like jelly, unable to stand by yourself as you carried out an attempt to get away from him. It didn’t seem so long ago that you couldn’t get enough of him but now you were itching to be left alone. You wanted to deal with this yourself, not reignite the fire of the hopes that he would return back. He lost that chance and you lost the chance of loving him again- even if yes, you still did love him. It was enough for you anyway- the love he gave you before only serving as a unreachable memory. You realized you needed to relinquish him.

Immediately you pushed him off you, watching the sweet expression on his face bend into something broken. The distance between you became even farther and farther with every breath your chest heaved. You gulped.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get to work so we can finish this,” you deadpanned, bringing your books that used to be laying dormant on the green grassland against your chest, moving under the tree where he broke up with you. This way you would be able to remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprised by your ill nature, Yeonjun nodded carefully, deciding to ponder in his head what was making you act this way instead of asking more questions. There was obviously something wrong, but he didn’t want to bother you more. To him he was unable to think of what he had done wrong and certainly hated the tense atmosphere when you refused to touch him, much less look at him. He just went along with it unknowingly like a fool that it was because of him the whole time.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was too hard to concentrate.

Your eyes searched despondently over the materials over and over and over again to write down something- anything that could possibly benefit the project, but it didn’t help at all that your mind was still on the boy sitting in front of you. Like a mantra, the memories of him smiling with that flawless girl kept replaying in your head as many more times as you bit by bit became insane with wrenching love.

Again, you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him before quickly ducking back down so he wouldn’t be able to catch you staring. He looked so peaceful while retracing his steps in the books, laying on his hand as a stand for his cheek. You hated how he could act so fine while you were left with nothing but hate towards him. Could you even call it hate anyway? It wasn’t true at all.

Yeonjun’s soothing voice snapped you out from your daze of pity, but it did the least to heal you and your pathetic attitude.

“Hey, do you think we could rest a second? I might fall asleep here if we have to keep reading about this nonsense stuff.”

You didn’t look up from your book, allowing him easy access to rest on your shoulder as silently as he could. His heart leaped with joy in his chest, but there was no chance he’d ever say it out loud. He graciously laid his head down upon it, becoming enamoured with your scent as he reached out to touch your hand. This need of affection easily leveled the desire which screamed out he needed you, but he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get an opportunity to be yours again.

You, on the other hand, was dying to tell him you loved him- but it wasn’t right when he simply had the same love as you for another girl.

But at the same time, you wanted to be strong. You had to be strong in order to convince him you were doing fine without him even if the truth was far from that. You had to put on a mask to hide the pain you were going through just because of him and his stupid, contagious smile that makes you grin every time you see it. You had to be strong, otherwise you’d never fool him that you needed him more than anything or anybody you’ve ever wanted. You had to be strong... but why were all your actions simply betrayed you no matter what you did?

“Get off me.”

Your shoulders started to shake aimlessly, shuddering when you felt his head bury more into the crook of your skin. He must’ve not heard anything, and you clenched your jaw until it twitched with pain.

“I said, get off me!”

As hard as you could, you pushed him off you- enough that you were just inches apart from him. It didn’t compare to the distance between you that you came to note before.

The tears were hot against your cheeks and you collapsed into your shaking hands, unable to hold it in anymore. In all your life, you’ve never felt so humiliated before just because a boy lied to you willingly. You felt pathetic.

To say the least, Yeonjun was taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as he hopelessly reached out his hand to you. All the love you bore just for him crashed into waves upon your chest, and you slapped his fingers away harshly before he could even say something.

Miserably you hid your face from him, not allowing him to see such a mess that he caused by his own hands.

“Who even are you? Are you the Choi Yeonjun who broke up with me or are you someone else?! I don’t understand how you can act like this after everything that happened... tell me, are you just playing with me or something?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I meant to do...” he tried tiredly, scooting closer to no avail as you turned your back away from him.

You laughed at his words, still not being able to look at him straight in the eye.

“Not what you meant to do? You’re telling me that it’s not what you meant to do?! Then who- who was she? Because it seemed to me that you were happier with her than you could’ve ever been with me!”

The silence that broke you apart was too deafening as you caught another look at him.

“Y/N, that’s not true... just listen, please,” Yeonjun begged, gazing at you desperately with unreadable but melancholy expression that had you on edge. He knew that you wouldn’t stay if he physically bound you in his embrace, but he had no clue what to do or what to say. He just wanted- no, needed you to really live.

Your heart broke all the more at the words he tried to pick up in order to explain- which you were sure he could hear even if he seemed very far. Easily you trashed his attempt away, getting up from your spot since you didn’t want to hear anything- anymore lies that would hurt the person you tried so hard to protect and shield away from the inevitable demise of love... that was you.

Yeonjun hurriedly got up along with you, leaving the pile of your books abandoned on the floor as he rushed out to match your pace. He ran with all his might to catch up with you but every time he reached your side- you would push him away like earlier and he didn’t have time to find his breath.

“Yeonjun, leave her alone. Haven’t you done enough, already?”

Seconds later upon hearing another voice, you rushed to someone else’s side, hoping that he would be able to protect you from the danger. It was pitiful with you standing right behind him as if that would help, but it did more than what you could ever be grateful for.

Yeonjun tensed up at his spot, stunned to see Soobin when he could’ve sworn nobody else was at Moonlight. In his mind, he could see the two of you right there apart from everything else- the two friends that looked so good together... it had to be much better than him after what he’d done. He came to a thought, letting his guard down while words of Soobin asking too many questions towards you occupied his head.

“I knew it. I knew you two were dating. I-I should’ve known,” he mumbled under his breath, his morals paralyzing him in place as he dropped his gaze towards at the ground instead.

Somehow Soobin heard this muttering and smugly smirked at this silly situation, taking a fresh opportunity that could probably boost destiny’s way before hiding it with a deep frown. He pulled you flush against his chest, holding you when you surprisingly really needed it from someone else.

“You finally figured this out? Leave us alone; you lost your chance the minute you broke up with her, pal.”

As Soobin dragged you along, you took one last look towards Yeonjun and gasped when you saw along with yours- two longing eyes flowing with tears that were nothing short of love. You wanted to reach out to help him not to cry like that even if he hurt you, but it would never work out and he’d leave you just like he’d done before. This only showed that you weren’t meant to be, never in a million years.  

And with that you left with the help of Soobin, leaving Yeonjun alone at Moonlight. Time passed to the point where he gazed upon the stars- wishing that you would come back because he wanted to say he still loved you- by himself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Thursday, the final day where the two of you would ultimately finish this project. The death of having an obligation which ripped your heart out, for better or for worse. The demise of whatever love you shared. The end of seeing him because you really wanted- no, you needed to. Everything was over in a blink of an eye and you were left feeling bittersweet about the situation... more bitter compared to sweet because you wanted more time with him. You knew deep down inside it wasn’t too much to ask, but... ending this would be for the better. It must be.

You were on your usual pathway home from the library after trying to bribe the librarian to excuse you from losing your books (when you actually accidentally left it there with him) while along the way thinking about what to do to make a grand finish for the project. Since the two of you worked on it a lot for a few hours before you exploded on him- something you weren’t sorry for in the least bit because it got your feelings out- it was safe to say that he wouldn’t bother you about it anymore. He finished his side, you were assuming, so he didn’t have to see you for the time being unless he ever decided to talk it out with you. Other than the fact that you totally hurt him back there, it honestly served you a great victory on a silver platter as you waited for the dragged out day to be over.

It was petty, of course it was! But after what he did back there at the Boulangerie while not to mention, make eye contact with you- sweet revenge had to be one of the best tastes a connoisseur could ever call upon.

And the project? Oh yeah, that’s right. It was a good thing that it was the final day so you wouldn’t have to act civil with him, for better or for worse.

After a few more blocks finally, you made it home, causing you to sigh out in relief. Hurriedly you grabbed your keys from your purse, fumbling with several of them to find the one that fit perfectly. The familiar touch never came though, and you groaned loudly, cursing yourself in your head for forgetting it in the library. It was when you set it down next to the book you were reading before you confronted the librarian- poor old woman- and somehow, you forgot to pick it up the second you got up.

Great, now this.

You opted to stare at the horizon in front of you, letting the breeze freely cool down your body. The sight was nothing less than pretty. It was a windy, golden sunny day outside but you didn’t want anything to do with it. All day you were planning to mope around the house and watch your favorite shows, procrastinating ‘til the last minute until the due date of every assignment arrived. They hit differently whenever you grabbed a bag of chips downstairs to finish them along with the homework, and you giggled at every moment that flashed in your head.

There was nothing else better to do but call Soobin, right? Although you didn’t want to bother him because these months have definitely been annoying for him whether he said it or not.

Defeated, you then stared down into the white porch as if it was at fault, feeling fear rise up your throat. What were you going to do? There was no one else you had given the key to, except...

“Y/N? Can we talk?”

Oh, no. Oh, no... Oh no no no!

When you heard that voice you were instantly glued to that spot, feet affixed on the porch as your heart beat too fast for its own good. Your mind must’ve been hallucinating and playing tricks on you; clearly you weren’t ready to see him yet!

Swiftly you moved your head to the side, eyes widening with appall to see that he was actually right there. Expression nothing less than sorrow, hair messed up and fluffy right in front of his eyes, cherry blossom lips curved into a trembling frown: it was Yeonjun, alright, but yet it was someone you couldn’t recognize due to the complete change of attitude in him. He was tightly holding onto your books but seemingly refusing to hand them over as if that would do anything better and increase the need for conversation. Unlike his stiff posture, his eyes held firm intent though, and you quivered at the determination sewn in them.

“Do you need anything?”

Instead of acting childish like you played out in your head, you simply responded it a curt voice because it was better than saying nothing and benefiting the sworn silence. More than anything you wanted to get out of there and leave the awkward tension, but there was nothing else you could possibly do without embarrassing yourself due to the fact you lost your keys.

“I... I...” This time, he avoided your eyes, words caught in his throat as he couldn’t find the exact thing to say. It wouldn’t make things any better, you realized. It just wasn’t meant to be.

You pursed your lips, locking them into a line. Whatever he had to say- it didn’t matter. Plus, there was another thing. As your eyes were already tearing up, it would be hard to stay for long to listen to his words. There was no telling what you’d say if tears automatically streamed down your cheeks.

“If you don’t have anything to say, then I’ll l-leave. We can just work on the project separa-”

Clack!

Clack!

Clack!

Before you could even stay true to your words, Yeonjun took slow steps towards you that had you walking backwards... without you looking.

Soon enough your back hit the door, and you gasped at the close proximity between the two of you now as he leaned in. His hands reached out to cage you in between his arms, tilting his head to the side to study your reaction. The soft blue hair brushed against the top of your head- showing how dangerously close he was. His breath fanned across your lips and his heavenly cologne infiltrated your sense of smell. If he decided to torture you even more, then you’d be able to touch noses from how near he was.

Look, you weren’t sure how to describe it at that moment other than- he was pinning you to the damn wall?! Suddenly you felt all the blood rush in your face, and it was then that you couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore- especially because he’d see how embarrassed you were! He didn’t have to be that close!

“yes, I need something. Or more specifically, you.”

His voice was much more huskier than you remembered it to be, and his eyes fell upon yours, begging for you to look back if not for your anxiety that he was this close. You immediately shut your eyes, heart beating erratically in your chest even if you tried to stop it by focusing on something else. But Yeonjun... how could you not think of anything else but him?! He was nothing short of breathtaking but seeing him this close and personal... it didn’t do good things for your heart!

“M-me?”

It was obvious that the boy was amused even if he felt guilty about the problem, making a quick exhale through his nose to show entertainment. His chuckle that came heartily through his chest caused your ears to heat up with shame since it showed how weak you were- just for him.

“Yes you, you silly baby,” he cooed endearingly, “who else could it be?”

“You’re one to be calling me silly! Don’t pretend like you were the one the other day who asked if frogs have blood!”

In a split second, his face morphed into something nothing less than serious and his left arm dropped to his side. You couldn’t help but wonder at the duality he managed to have when the gravity of the situation hit him.

“I miss things like this. I miss it so much. I miss joking around with you and chasing you around the house just to tickle you. I miss how attached you were because little did you know, I was just as much attached to you as you were to me.

“I miss the sweet look you give me every time I ask you out on a date. I miss having you right beside me whenever we studied together because you were the only person who cheered me on even when it was two in the morning. I miss giving you random kisses out of nowhere because I can’t get enough of you and that adorable, surprised face whenever I did so.

“I miss slipping my hand into yours whenever we would walk home together, letting you cling onto me so that I could protect you from all dangers. I miss giving you victory every argument we had because I hate making you cry. I miss cuddling you on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together whenever we were too lazy to get up and how I couldn’t stop smiling every time you laughed.

“I miss kissing the top of your forehead and you never knew because you were asleep. I miss waking up with you by my side and seeing something so gorgeous it would stay in my head all day even if I studied the same materials over and over again. I miss looking up at the stars with you at Moonlight and resting my head on your lap as you ran your fingers through my hair and how we’d do it every single week.

“Can’t you see? I miss you and every little thing you do, simple or exquisite. I know why you acted that way yesterday and I hate myself so much for not realizing it until later. I owed her something after she told me a way to somehow get closer to you when I’d done such a horrible thing. You can love Soobin- I don’t care about myself anymore as long I get to see my favorite girl smile due to the fact that she’s in love.

“Y/N, you mean much more to me than anything and it’s okay if you’re happy not loving me again because at least I got to experience the full joy and sadness that visited along with the love of my life. This may be the last time you may ever want to see me, but please... let me tell you how much I need you one last time.”

His eyes were shining, full of sincerity that you were able to feel even if you weren’t him. Tears resembling glistening pearls streamed down with his cheeks as he finally told you the truth he’d been dying to tell you, allowing you to see his vulnerabilities inside out. And yet, he was genuinely smiling as he confessed this, happy enough he got the chance to tell you loved you one last time.

Gradually he extended his arms out wide, allowing you to have your personal space while he took a few steps backwards and towards the grass where you followed him. By the end of it all, you weren’t able to help the tears welling up in your eyes at how touched you were from the inside. It was him, the boy who promised to love you until the end of time.

“Y-Yeonjun, I...” he cut in through your words, closing his eyes in fear of the pain that would soon become of his body if you did in the end, choose to grant his wish. It simply wasn’t enough to level the agony of his heart, but he was willing to take all the pain instead of burdening it on you.

“I’ll let you push me. I’ll let you hit me. I’ll let you get back what you deserve. You can slap me, as long as you let everything out. I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, so just do it!”

...

...

...

Silence.

Oh, the euphoric relief coursing in your veins that really pushed you over the edge.

Immediately you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could because you never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace upon contact, burying your head against his chest that was warm and overflowing with passion. Yeonjun hesitantly embraced you back, unsure of what happened just now.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfound expression.

“You silly baby,” you teased, repeating his playful words from earlier, “I’m not dating Soobin and I never have. Why would I date him when I’ll never love this way again?”

You booped his nose as quickly as you could, smiling when he finally reciprocated the same grin back.

“Choi Yeonjun, you were such a fool to lose me, but I’m even more of a fool to love you again. I’ve never stopped loving you, although I’m sure you already knew that, hEY-”

With happiness overflowing the boy, he picked you up and you were swept off your feet in a second. Wide smiles reflected back and forth from his face to yours as he spun you around him a few inches from the ground, pure bliss surrounding the two of you since you both were complete again. He let you laugh in his hands, tickling your sides unintentionally while you snickered at him to let you down. He only chuckled at this, stopping in place but still refusing to listen to your request.

“I love your very big brain that’s so smart it makes me frustrated with how dumb I am sometimes,” he brought you down a little bit to kiss your forehead. He then trailed down to your nose.

“I love how you ask me for opinions of perfume when you know deep down instead I adore your natural scent instead,” he kissed your nose and you laughed at the feeling it naturally gave you.

“But most importantly,” Yeonjun placed you down on the golden grasslands again and ceased right in front of your lips, letting his breath fall upon them, “I love you.”

Then he connected your lips together, bringing you closer towards him than he had ever done before.

At last, everything was finally perfect.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Posted: 3/29/21- 1:37am (yes i did stay up halfway to two am just to get this finished. priorities people- it’s just a sweet early monday here 😔🧍)

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[floralquafloral]

Watch out it's random splatoon headcanon time again

I was thinking about splatting and respawning recently, and @acid-hues used no less than Three looking emojis when I asked if anyone would want to hear my thoughts about how that stuff works, so here goes. Warning for potentially fatal quantities of pseudoscience, since I'm not a biologist or a chemist, just a goober who likes the squid game too much ;P

1. What is splatting?

Splatting is a reflex in inklings and octarians that occurs when they're been critically injured. It allows the cephalopod to escape and recover from a potentially fatal situation, effectively unharmed. Almost all of their body mass is liquefied to ink in a similar process to squid-form transformation, but it's all lost, resulting in the characteristic splatter. The only remaining structure is the "squid soul", which isn't actually a soul so much as a balloon-like vessel that can (under the right conditions) develop into a whole inkling body again.

2. What is a squid soul?

Squid souls aren't actually incorporeal souls, they're just very complicated (and lightweight) biological structures that contain all the mechanisms and information necessary to create an inkling body. Kind of analogous to an egg: given food and time, an egg can turn into a whole animal. Squid souls are just a great deal more precise, in that they generate an inkling body almost exactly as it was before, including the brain and all the inkling's memories and such. The squid soul itself, like an egg, isn't really comparable to an actual inkling - the soul can't talk, or eat, or think. The squid soul doesn't have a brain, and it only has just enough nervous system to seek out a location where it can respawn into a proper body. It uses a rudimentary form of the same senses that allow for the Turf Map. Because the squid soul isn't conscious, getting splatted kind of just feels like a very violent form of teleportation.

More information on the processes & technology behind respawning under the readmore :)

3. How does a squid soul respawn?

Squid souls can only develop into a proper inkling body if they can access two things: A bunch of biomass, and a bunch of electricity. Biomass is necessary because almost all of the inkling's original body has been exploded all over the place, so you need a bunch of stuff to make a new one. A large enough well of pure ink can contain all the necessary material for a body, but most respawn tech uses solutions of ink with other useful things dissolved into it. Respawning from a well of pure ink doesn't feel very good. Pure ink doesn't contain a very good amount of vitamins, iron, etc., so the new body will probably have less of that stuff in it than the old one.

Electricity is necessary to separate different compounds out of the ink, and to provide the energy required for some of the chemical reactions that need to take place - you can't just mush a bunch of ink together and get a body out of it.

4. What could prevent a successful respawn?

This part is pure headcanon, since there's nothing from the base game that relates to this, as far as I'm aware.

Some sources of injury won't trigger the splat reflex; the most common example is prolonged exposure to small amounts of water. Getting caught in heavy rain for hours can dissolve the body without ever triggering the splat reflex, so you just... don't come back.

Old age or severe illness can inhibit the reflex as well. If a young and healthy squid gets hit by a bus, they will explode and come back at the nearest respawn point. If someone whose splat reflex isn't working gets hit by a bus, then they just get run over, which very bad. Alternatively, in some cases the splat reflex could fail to generate a squid soul, so you'd just explode and not get to respawn, which would be exceedingly terrible.

For the kind of squid who would sign up for Turf Wars, there's basically no chance of this stuff happening, but there are still mandatory physicals before you can sign up for a Turf War just to make sure.

Lastly, of course, if someone gets splatted too far away from a viable respawn point, the squid soul will expire after only a few minutes.

5. What kind of tech allows for a respawn?

There are four different places you can respawn in-game: In the online battle maps (5.1), in the Octarian domes (5.3), in the Deepsea Metro's test stations (5.4), and from a Grizzco Tank (5.5). There's also presumably some way to respawn if you just, like, fall out of a tree and get splatted in the public park or something (5.2). There's also the floating respawn-thingies from the Splatoon 3 trailer, but since I don't know how they work in-game yet I don't have anything to make headcanons around. 🤷‍♀️

5.1. Turf War respawn pads: They're cheap to make, they work quickly, and they can handle dozens of squids getting splatted during a single 3-minute battle with no need for oversight during the game. It's worth remembering that the squid soul isn't sapient, it has no regards for the rules of a Turf War - so what prevents someone on Yellow Team from respawning at Purple's base? The answer is that, under most circumstances, the biomass requirement for a respawn can only be met with ink that matches your colour. Different colours of ink have different chemical compositions, so a squid soul that's seeking out a viable location to create a yellow squid won't be able to sense the purple respawn pad as a viable location.

The limitation of the Turf War pad is that they're not perfectly reliable. Occasionally it just won't appear as a viable respawn location to a squid soul, so someone will end up respawning outside the battle, which forfeits them from the match. (i'm only including this because i'm proud of coming up with an in-universe explanation for disconnects)

5.2. City respawn pads: Outside of inksports, it's still a good idea to have respawn pads all over the place so that if someone gets splatted they have somewhere to respawn. City pads, unlike Turf War pads, are designed to be 100% reliable and work for any ink color. Their natural drawback is that they require constant oversight. "Respawn operator" is a job you can have in most major population centers, that mostly involves sitting around, making sure nothing looks broken, and greeting anyone who shows up at the pad.

Getting splatted outside a battle isn't especially common (splatting someone outside a battle is a pretty serious no-no), so any given pad in the city will usually only get 1-2 respawns a day, if any at all. When someone shows up, the operator is supposed to write down their name, the time they respawned, and the reason they got splatted. If it was because of something legally messy like a road accident, they'll have more work to do to get that sorted out. If it was because of a Turf War pad failure, they'll contact the Judds to get that cleared up. If you were with someone when you got splatted, it's common courtesy to send a text or call once you respawn so they don't have to worry; since you won't have your phone with you when you respawn that's something the operator is also supposed to help with. Respawn operators are pretty helpful in general - if you tell them "I don't know how to get back to my house from here", they can usually give you a map or directions or something.

To allow for anyone to respawn at a City pad, they're filled with a very bright and saturated brown ink solution. This colour is unique in that basically any other ink colour can change into it very easily; if you get splatted while you've got red ink, you'll show up at the city pad with brown ink. This is why bright brown ink isn't frequently used for inksports (definitely not because the developers didn't want it to look like they're using poop for turf wars).

5.3. Octarian Checkpoints: As electricity is a precious and scarce resource for Octarians, their respawn pads are designed to use as little of it as possible. An Inkopolis respawn pad has a current running through it constantly, which combined with the large amount of ink, allows squid souls to perceive it as a viable respawn location. In contrast, Octarian checkpoints don't offer any ink or electricity when inactive. They only switch on when a nearby Octarian soldier gets splatted, using a signal transmitted by the Octarian's equipment. When they turn on, they temporarily fill with ink and run an electrical current, allowing the soldier's octo soul to make its way over and respawn before the checkpoint shuts down again.

The signal receiver of the checkpoints has a vulnerability that allows it to be overridden, which will fill it with any colour of ink solution and render it unable to receive power-on signals. The Hero Tanks worn by Agents 3 and 4 do this automatically when the agents get close to a checkpoint - this is why they're black before an agent gets close, then change to match their ink colour. However, once the checkpoint is overridden, it still doesn't provide electricity, and in fact can't be activated at all. The Hero Tank allows them to be used regardless by putting an electrical charge into the squid soul itself, so that it only needs the well of ink solution. It can only store up to three respawns worth of charge, though. If an agent gets splatted while the battery is empty, they're toast.

Octarians, of course, can't respawn at a checkpoint that's been overridden, not only because it won't power on but also because it doesn't match their ink colour anymore. Only one checkpoint will receive the power-on signal when an Octarian gets splatted, so when an overridden checkpoint is the one that receives the signal, there will be nowhere on the base for the Octarian to respawn. Instead, they'll end up in another dome, or in a civilian respawn pad. The agents aren't murderers, okay?

5.4: Deepsea Metro Test Station Checkpoints: The testing stations in the Deepsea Metro are adapted from Octarian checkpoints, but with some tweaks to reflect the different priorities of Kamabo Co. as opposed to the Octarian military. Metro checkpoints have their remote-activation functionality stripped out, and instead permanently activate once the test subject reaches them, filling with ink solution and receiving a constant electrical current. They probably still have the same vulnerability as the Octarian checkpoints, but Agent 8's has no means of exploiting it, and no reason to anyways - the checkpoints are already configured to match her colour, since they're there for the express purpose of respawning test subjects.

Because Metro checkpoints always match Agent 8's ink colour, the sanitized octarians in the test courses have nowhere they can respawn. Instead, they are simply replaced as needed.

5.5: Grizzco Tanks: I'll be honest, I can't come up with any good explanations for this one. The way it traps the squid soul inside it probably has to do with the same interference that blocks the Turf Map, but the explanation for why you have to shoot it to activate a respawn is beyond me. The best I can do is list what can be ruled out:

It's not because it's using the ink from the shot for mass. If the Grizzco tank itself doesn't contain enough ink for a respawn, then there's no way a single Inkbrush swing would output enough to make up the difference.

It's not using the kinetic energy from the shot to trigger some sort of chemical reaction. Getting hit by a Steelhead bomb or a Flyfish missile don't revive the player, even though they surely have more kinetic energy than something like a Bloblobber bubble, which can.

The weapons themselves aren't providing an electrical charge. If Grizzco could modify a Splattershot to output enough electricity to enable a respawn, then the tank would be capable of doing that itself without needing to be shot.

Whatever it is, it's probably not very good for you long-term to respawn like that. Grizzco just gives off those vibes, like working there is totally gonna mess up your health when you're older.

[barnesandco]

AYESHA!! Can I request, "their entire body freezing for a second when their love kisses them?" For any character you feel inspired to write for!

The Pay Off

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: brief mention of therapy and allusions to Bucky’s recovery after Hydra.

A/N: This.. got wildly out of hand.... and really, really wordy. I love these prompts and I want to write all of them while my WIPs stare at me feeling betrayed.

Like sunshine honey, the woman who has been sitting two seats down from Bucky at the library for the past four months, with a smile the ambience of New York dawn aimed unguarded at the book in your lap. He’s spoken a grand total of 37 sentences to you in that time, each one laden with the weight of this new existence he is carving out for himself, softly, a breakfast knife through butter. Every interaction with you -- every stolen glimpse up from his own space magazine -- leaves his throat parched but prickling with that sensitive heat that makes him want to thirst more. Like the tingle of salt after ocean water. 

Wetting his lips, he tries to refocus on the page in front of him. It details the scientific contributions of the Hubble Space Telescope, with a colorful side-box about the Nancy Grace Roman, who pioneered the notions of sending telescopes into space to unearth its secrets. The magazine is one from a neat stack to his right, a treasure of information he gathered to go through when he arrived today, but he isn’t making the amount of progress to finish reading by closing time.

Every Avenger has made a comment on getting a library card, to no avail. Sam’s information, Steve’s offer to do it in Bucky’s stead, Natasha’s suggestions of giving a fake name, and Wanda’s kind offer to come with him if he doesn’t want to do it alone, along with Tony’s centenarian-themed jokes and Shuri’s gift of a Kindle containing every book she could buy, have all been politely refused and tolerated in turn. Initially, it was because he likes it at the library. It’s the quietest place he has, and is coming to claim as another safe space. An escape. Now, however, there is a new variable he does not want to introduce to the team.

The woman who sits two seats down from him. You come her every afternoon, a book bag in one hand and a gigantic tote full of Lord-knows-what in the other, both dumped on the table before you go to find a book. He’s close enough to smell watermelons and strawberries, pink, sweet-summer things, reminders of a blueberry sky and sugary lemonade, memories he doesn’t remember having but can taste in the heavy air between them. It had taken him two weeks to discover that the scents were coming from the markers that he saw peeking out from the tote, stationary behaving the same way certain books do, enabling him to live a life he has never had.

Your life is a mystery to him, but he guesses at it, reading you. A rainbow of stray marker lines litters your hands almost perpetually, coming alive when they move rapidly as you check books, sometimes chuckling softly at a particular sentence. Once, he caught a Cheese Whiz stain on your cable-knit cuff, and at another occasion, saw you. Bucky is often overcome by the feeling of sonder at the realization that the clues he is gluing together make for a complex life, a marvel of an individual. There is guilt too, for his curiosity. But your eyes, even looking down, are captivating, and he is too far gone to stop. 

The idea of asking you out, of engaging in conversation beyond the moments of stranger familiarity, scares him still. Last time you spoke was when you laughed aloud at the set of examples one particular student had given for an assignment on sensory details. Zachary, age 11, had written that cow poop was a smell he did not like, sending his library companion into brilliant, bubbling laughs that you cut off too soon when you remembered where you were. At that point, you had looked around to see if anyone noticed, and spotting him, offered an apology he had rejected, on the condition that you share the joke. And you did.

But initiating the moment takes something more than what he has right now. His hands, mismatched and cold from the table, empty and longing, shut the magazine.

-----

The courage arrives on a Thursday. An ordinary day, by all accounts, only Bucky is on his fourth week of actual therapy, and got to the library through the subway, instead of Steve’s motorbike. Small victories fill his chest.

Only, you aren’t there when he gets in, and he panics. Fear and disappointment wrestle for a spot in his belly, claiming a tie in knots and weights, as he paces through the aisles of shelves in what he hopes is an unsuspicious speed. Giving up hope, he’s returning to his seat, head bowed, dismayed, when something collides against his side.

It’s you. A hurricane of movement with a slushie in one hand, your eyes also on the floor, and you crash against him with a shriek too late to save either of you. The slushie, cold and blue, spills out and lands on both of you, as you tumble, hands on Bucky’s elbows while his are on yours as he pulls you down, and you land in a heap of ice-water and sticky saccharine snow, a warm weight on top of him.

The library goes silent, for a breath, and then, when the shock lifts, two librarians come rushing from around some hidden corners, by which time you and Bucky have composed yourselves enough to stand and start to apologize profusely in cut-off sentences and shaky stutters. The slush is sinking through his clothes but there is a flush in his cheeks, and somehow, looking at your beautiful face, he has never been warmer.

When the slushie has been cleaned up with rags -- his hand is starting to shiver -- he stands with more sorry on his tongue, but you say, with a grin, “I guess you really fell for me, huh?”

The quip is surprising, but he laughs. Looks between your now-blue blouse and his inky t-shirt, and makes the leap. “Maybe I can get you another drink to make up for it.” And the pleased shock on your mouth, lips parted slightly and breath still recovering, is worth every step and fall it took to get to that one line.

-----

It goes well. He won’t call it a date, in spite of everyone else’s juvenile cooing and teasing when he leaves the Compound on a Saturday evening in his car. It’s a 70s Mustang, body the color of his old Commandos coat, and the interior a shiny black lined with golden stitching and accents. Royal and his very own. Turning towards the neighborhood you live in, he recalls the months it took to restore the damn thing, the last weeks of which were spent practically living in the garage, breathing on the anticipation of this monstrous achievement.

Queens is neon lights and family-owned delis, the scent of tacos mingling with that of curries, and there’s a different language in each window front. You said you lived in an apartment a couple of stories above a Vietnamese bar. 

You’re exiting just as he gets out of the car, and it takes a moment to catch his breath. In jeans and a silk shirt, you are the sun, and he cannot wait to get to revel in your warmth for at least one evening. 

-----

It goes well. With the exception of nerves he can’t rid himself of but rather ignores, everything is perfect. You had enjoyed his handmade picnic in Central Park, and his disgruntled commentary on how things used to be when you got stuck in traffic on the way back. His imitations of Steve and Tony had you in stitches, after which you had fed him Doritos from a packet he did not know was in the glove-box. 

Smooth sailing, soft as cream and just as gentle, the night, until you get back. It is late, and the lights are starting to flicker out of shop windows, and you go a little bit quiet, discontinuing the steady stream of chatter you have been maintaining with him. 

Something is in the air. Something sparking with promise. It hushes your voices and tightens his throat and has his hand trembling when he opens his door and then yours to let you own. You stand in the pale glow of the corner streetlamp, and his hands are in his pockets like he’s sixteen again, wanting to kiss a girl but unsure how to go about it.

Fortunately for him, you’re not a girl. You’re a woman. Made from electric fire and whatever strength that holds the cotton clouds in the sky, luminous and wondrous. 

“I know that was a bit more than a drink, so thank you for agreeing to this,” he says, meeting your eyes.

Your finger is tracing the face of your watch absently as you smile at him. “I had a great time.”

“Really?” Bucky blurts out, and then hurries to suspend the disbelief.

The answer you give him has his heart doing somersaults. “Yeah. I’d actually love to do this again if you feel the same.”

“Of course. Yes, obviously.” He puts a brake on his train of speech, explains as he walks a little closer to you, close enough to count your eyelashes. “I’m sorry, I haven’t been on a date in 80 years, and I’m a little rusty, but--”

Like the event that started it all, your first kiss is a crash. You lean up slowly and he has time to stop you but he doesn’t. He lets you kiss him and freezes, from head to toe, upon the feeling of your soft lips. Stopping within seconds, you lean back, sheepish, ready to back away and run, he’s certain. His head clears, he thinks a little straighter. 

“Sorry, will you let me try that again?” He asks, clearing his throat, and you lift your hand to hold his. 

The warmth of your hold envelopes the back of his human hand, and twists your grip so your fingers are intertwined, so much more surface area to gain heat and the motivation to seek further touch from. “If you stop saying sorry, sure.”

He closes his eyes before you do, and this time, the meeting of your lips is soft. A kiss, not a crash, an elegant collision of mouths and shared wants. In a few breaths of movement, as your other hand rises to his hair and his holds your waist, you come closer, and Bucky grows breathless. The kiss lasts for what feels like minutes too long and hours too short at the same exact time, as you break away with a gasp for air that has pride blooming under his sternum. 

Eyes shining, he hopes he’ll get to do that again. As you kiss his cheek and turn to your door, he looks forward to sitting two seats closer to you on Monday.

[taeyamayang]

Hey congratulations on 200 followers and you’re so creative for coming up with this event dowkzlwkx

I would like to remain anon. My pronouns are she/her and I prefer boys. I’m basically a people pleaser and also constantly worrying about something or the other but I usually don’t let that show outside so I have a calm and confident demeanour but once people are close to me, they’ll know what an over-reactor I am. Ooh and I love the colour lilac and rose gold, too! I enjoy painting to calm myself down. And ofc spending time with nice people!

I prefer a partner who’s laid back, because I’m not, so that they can balance me out. I want them to be friendly and funny and overall a kind person to both people and animals alike. Ooh and health conscious too.

Sorry if that was too much 😓😓😓

i am pairing you withㅡLev Haiba

↬ lev is a very carefree person. he's outgoing and usually does not care about how people view him,, he's literally just there, existing, doing his own thing so i think that attitude of him would balance your personality. i honestly think he has the ability to make you live outside of the box without constantly worrying about things here and there. also, as seen in one of the OVAs lev is fond of animals so i think he pairs with you perfectly :D

you bounce on the balls of your feet as you stretch your hand up above your head. your back cracks from the amount of time spent sitting on the couch. the heat of the sun fondles against your skin as you take in a long deep breath of fresh air.

"hey." someone calls out. you abruptly halt from stretching with your hands still up in the air as your eyes scan the vicinity of your front yard.

"here." the same voice says. you begin to feel horrified. who the hell is talking to you?

"over the fence!" the voice gets louder making you identify the source more vividly. you turn around and bring your arms down to see a green eyed russian looking boy behind the fence. only half of his face is seen above the metallic barrier, his pupils light up when you finally see him. he gives you a small wave.

"i saw you the other day you were feeding the stray cats. i figured you're the best person to ask this favor from." he says as you near his spot.

"im lev by the way." he tilts his head up so you could see his smile.

"im ___." you smile back at him in greeting. "what favor are you referring to?" you ask.

"can you look out for luna?" he tells you and immediately he raises one hand up to reveal a months old kitten resting on the expanse of his palm. "my parents are on vacation and my sister isn't home. i have overnight training camp, i can't leave the kitten by itself. can you take care of her for one night, please?"

you pause for a moment before giving an answer.

"sure." you nod slowly, still unsure of why you're agreeing to this stranger's request but he seems harmless. the worst that he can do is to leave the cat and never return.

"great!" he smiles widely. you reach of the deadbolt of the gate so you can get the kitten from him. opening the gate discloses his figure. he has a sling bag hanged over his lean and tall body and he's wearing a volleyball shirt.

he gently hands you the kitten making the poor stray meow at your touch. you feel your heart softens at how endearing the small kitten is. you smile as you take in the sight of the animal. it's fur is in pure white but it's color is not apparent enough since some spots are covered in grease.

"here." lev undangles the sling bag to place it next to your feet on the ground. "i have all of her things prepared. milk, the blanket where she sleeps, a container for her food, and a bit of cat litter for her poop."

he literally came here all prepared as if he knew you would say yes to him. nonetheless, you take it in.

"thank you! ill be back tomorrow night." he jogs away from your house with his head turned to you as he wave you goodbye.

you've grown to like the kitten as the night passes. you even cleaned her greasy fur with a wet towel and cuddled next to her in bed. lev promised you to be back tonight so you wait for him at your frontyard with luna busying herself with a dried leaf.

"___!" a familiar voice resonates with the stillness of the night. he waves at you when you see him peering from above the fence. you push yourself up from your squated position to open the gate for him. he walks in and gasps at the sight of luna.

"luna! you look so clean!" he folds his knees to pet the kitten. you squat next to him, smiling, with your eyes glued to luna. lev's eyes shift to you.

"you make a great mother." he beams at you, teeth smiling and the duchenne marks on his face popping. you meet with eyes only to tear it off from him once you feel your cheeks go warm.

"you did a great job taking of her too. she seems to adjust well with humans, i just cleaned her up." you shyly remark. you rest your hand at the back of your hand placed on top of your knees. he lowers his gaze to level your eyes.

"i guess we're great parents." his words made you peel your eyes off from luna to lock with his'. he instantly smiles as your orbs meet. his emerald eyes glisten in resemblance with the gleaming moon in the nightsky.

a/n: ahhh it's my first time writing for lev in a one shot,, i hope you like it! and thanks for joining the event~

[poisonedapples]

Roman Gets Help 1/5: Bad Nights

Part One: Virgil

Part Summary: Roman is always trying to make his anxiety more manageable with a bunch of different tactics. But a disorder is a disorder, and some days are worse than others. But at least his best friend Virgil is around to help.

Part of the Service Dog AU!

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety

Warnings: Past panic attacks, medication, anxiety, Remus making poop jokes because he’s Remus, swearing and food mentions

Word Count: 2,751

Taglist: @hold-our-destiny @pricklyfish777 @romansleftshoulderpad

Notes: Cornybird on Ao3 deserves Many Squishmallows for editing so much of my stuff, including this. So send visual squishmallow vibes to her, she deserves it

Virgil really should have known something was weird when Roman didn’t text back.

The two had made plans during lunch to meet up at Roman’s house so he could help with Virgil’s Spanish homework. Roman was infinitely better with language stuff than Virgil could ever dream to be, and even when the work was done, it was always nice to hang out in his room and get away from his wild parents every once in a while. But since Roman left school early and Virgil had to stay after for band practice, he hadn’t heard or seen Roman in a while.

That in itself wasn’t weird, though. What was weird was that when Virgil texted him that he was on his way, Roman didn’t respond. Not even with an emoji reaction or a simple ‘okay’. But even then, what was even weirder was that Virgil was right outside his door, texting Roman to open it for him, and he still wasn’t responding.

Virgil checked the last three messages he sent to Roman’s phone. All of them were marked as delivered but not read, which was also very concerning. What could Roman be doing that he hadn’t checked his phone in thirty minutes? Virgil got anxious when he didn’t read messages immediately, let alone waiting half an hour.

Virgil sent him one last text before putting his phone away. You there? I’m outside.

No response. Virgil knocked on the door and shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting and shifting on his feet for someone to open the door. After a couple minutes, he started to think Roman had just forgotten.

However, a slight spark of hope rose up in him at the sound of the front door opening. But when Virgil looked up from his shoes to the person at the door, he felt his shoulders sag.

It wasn’t Roman who had opened the door. There was no shy and apologetic smile with Princess right under his feet. Instead, it was his bastard brother in ripped jeans and a green tank top, blowing bubblegum like a bully in a 90s Nickelodeon show.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite emo! What brings you here, Raven Way?” Remus asked, leaning on the door frame with a cocky smile.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You’ve already used that one.”

“It’s my favorite nickname for you. It’s the perfect brand of insulting. It has spice to it.”

“I’m glad you’re entertained then. Is Roman out somewhere?”

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “No, he’s been up in his room. Last I checked he was as passed out as a corpse.”

“Okay...can I come in then?”

Remus smiled and opened the door for Virgil, taking a bow as he stepped inside. Virgil rolled his eyes again. This guy is so fucking weird. “You know where his room and the shitter is. Just follow the trail of dog hair to his royal highness.”

“You terrify me, Remus.”

“Good! That’s the aesthetic I’m going for. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bigass thing of chili dip in the fridge that may or may not be expired. We’ll see!” Virgil’s eyes narrowed as Remus skipped back to the kitchen and right to the fridge, but he really didn’t want to be around for that mess. Instead, Virgil went upstairs and turned left to Roman’s room, the colorful Disney decorations covering his door. Virgil knocked twice, but when met with no answer, he came inside anyway.

The first thing Virgil noticed was the lights. The windows and blinds were shut tight so no sunlight could get through while Roman’s fairy lights around his room were turned on. The soft twinkling gave the room a feeling of calmness, but the sight on the bed was more concerning than tranquil. Princess was sat down on top of the bed comforter with two arms wrapped around her, Roman blending in with the sheets he was under as he shoved his face in his dog’s fur. At least she didn’t seem to mind.

Roman looked up at the sound of the door opening. Virgil felt his heart sink when he saw the tear streaks down his face and his messed up hair, but Roman tried his best to respond to Virgil anyway. “Hey…”

Virgil took off his shoes and threw his backpack onto the floor next to the door. “Hey, dude. You look like shit.”

Roman made a strange huff sound, probably meant to be a laugh. “Thanks.”

He buried his face back into Princess’ fur, and Virgil felt that pang of worry grow stronger. He moved to the other side of the bed, sitting alongside Roman and his pile of blankets and pillows. “You okay?”

Roman shrugged. “I’m doing better.”

“What happened?”

“Panic attack.”

Virgil sucked the air through his teeth as a way to say yikes. “Seems like it was a pretty bad one.”

Princess rolled over onto Roman’s chest, and Roman cuddled even closer than what Virgil thought was possible. He looked so small when he did that. “Worse than usual.”

“Do you know what caused it?”

“No. Sometimes it just happens.” Roman kissed the top of Princess’ head. “Anxiety just...does that.”

“Yeah, I get it. Trust me, out of everyone you know, I’d probably be the one to understand it the most.”

“...Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of them. Virgil didn’t actually know what to do when Roman was like this. He’s stopped him from having panic attacks in the past, but he’d never seen him look this bad. Roman was curled in on himself under the covers, gripping onto Princess for dear life in an attempt to soothe himself. His pile of stuffed animals usually spread around the bed were now in a giant pile around his body, and his weighted blanket poked out from under the comforter too. It looked like he was trying his hardest to get comfortable, and Virgil didn’t know what else he could do. A distraction? A nap?

Well, only one way to find out.

Virgil took a deep breath in. “...Is there any way I can help?”

Roman shrugged again. “Not that I know.”

“Did you take a nap? That usually helps me the most.”

“I just woke up. My meds knocked me out.”

“Your meds?”

Roman took a pill bottle from his nightstand and showed it to Virgil. He read the confusing label that all medicine bottles have, but the name of the pills was long and unfamiliar in Virgil’s mind. Roman placed them back once Virgil got a good look and curled in on himself more. “Panic attack meds. They help you calm down really quick when you’re having an attack. They always put me to sleep after. Remus likes to call them my tranquilizer dart.”

Virgil snorted. “I mean...accurate name. I’ve just never seen you with those before.”

“I only take them on bad days. My therapist warned me about how I shouldn’t take them after every panic attack, because then I’ll never learn how to deal with them on my own, and I might get addicted. Which I’d rather not.”

“Yeah, I know about the addiction thing. I used to be on anti-anxiety until last year.”

Roman tilted his head up to look at Virgil for the first time. “Really?”

“Yup. I got eased off them after a while, though. Now I just take an antidepressant, which honestly isn’t much. I think everyone in our friend group is on some kind of meds.”

“...Patton?” Roman asked.

“Patton’s one depressed mother fucker. I say that out of love, but yes, he’s also on antidepressants.”

“And Logan?”

“...Dude. Epilepsy.”

Roman let out a silent oh. “...I forgot you take meds for that.”

“Our brains are fucked up and we accept this.”

Roman flashed a small smile but didn’t respond. After that, the two had fell silent as Virgil awkwardly patted a beat on his leg to put his nervous fidgeting to use.

What do you do for someone getting out of a panic attack? It was obvious Roman wasn’t in a talking mood, but it was killing him inside to just...sit there while he looked so helpless. But he’d never had to deal with this with a friend before. The worst he’d dealt with were Patton’s bad depression days, and those had nothing on how horrible Roman looked right now. And if he already took a nap...what else were you supposed to do after a panic attack?

Virgil thought back to his own experiences. Of course, Virgil’s anxiety was nothing compared to Roman’s, but it was better than nothing. And comfort worked no matter how bad you felt, even if it was only a little.

He thought back to his own parents. How his mom would hold him and let him cry into his shoulder if he needed to, but that was too awkward for him to do with Roman. His dad would let him curl up and watch him play games on the console, which could maybe work…

...Then Virgil remembered another thing his mom did once after one of his worst panic attacks. It might be a bit embarrassing because of intimacy, but it would help Roman feel better. And that’s all that matters.

“I’m gonna go get some stuff, okay?” Virgil said, “You stay right here.”

Roman hummed. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but okay.”

With that, Virgil hopped out of Roman’s bed and left the bedroom.

First, he needed a water bottle. Roman probably had some water when he took his meds, but it likely wasn’t enough to stop a headache after all the crying. Virgil went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. While he was there, he looked through the rest of the fridge and noticed that there was no container of chili dip in there anymore. Gross.

Expired chili dip aside, he would need a face rag as well. Virgil went through a hallway on the first floor to the older bathroom downstairs, looking through the drawers for a decent cloth. A small one was hidden in the back of the drawer with some bottles of face wash and lotion, so Virgil grabbed that and took a mental note to put it back later. He stood in front of the faucet and stared at it for a while.

Was cold or hot water better for getting tears off someone’s face? Warm water seemed like it’d be more comfortable, but cold water could also be more refreshing. He thought about the possibilities for a while and settled on warm based on his own preferences, turning the hot and cold handles to where the water was only slightly warm, wetting a side of the cloth then turning the faucet off.

Before he left the bathroom, Virgil grabbed a couple squares of toilet paper and then headed out the door. He was back in Roman’s room not even five minutes later, setting his stuff on the nightstand for a second as he grabbed his DS from his bag and turned it on. Roman glanced up from the bed with a confused look, but didn’t say anything. Virgil came back next to the bed and motioned for Roman to move to the middle. Reluctantly, and with some shifting of Princess still at his side, Roman did so.

Virgil sat in Roman’s old spot and grabbed the wad of toilet paper. “Here, sit up and blow your nose. The last thing you need right now is more breathing problems.”

Roman grunted as she shimmied out from under his weighted blanket to sit up against the headboard of his bed. He took the toilet paper from Virgil and blew. “...Thanks.”

“No problem. Now just stick with me for this next part, because I’m not good with touchy-touchy shit, so this’ll be a little awkward.”

Roman gave Virgil a confused look, but he didn’t say anything. He grabbed the damp cloth and silently tilted Roman’s head to face him. Virgil tentatively lifted the cloth to his face and wiped the tears from under his eyes, the gesture mixed with the warm water making Roman hum in content. Virgil didn’t acknowledge what was happening, he just wiped off his friend’s face, flipping to the dry part of the cloth to dry him off after.

“There. That should help you feel less gross, anyway.”

“Thanks...it helped.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Virgil set the cloth to the side and handed Roman the water bottle. “And drink this, it’ll help with that nasty headache you probably have.”

Roman twisted the cap open and chugged the bottle, finishing half of it in record speed before putting it down again. Virgil could tell by how fast he chugged it that his head was probably throbbing.

“Feeling a little better now?” Roman nodded. “Wanna watch me play Harvest Moon until you probably pass out again?”

He nodded again, Virgil scooting closer to him so Roman could place his head on his shoulder as he watched. His hand combed through Princess’ fur as Princess trapped the other under her paw to lick. Most people would think it was gross, but considering licking was one of her grounding techniques, he was desensitized to it by now. “Which one do you have?”

“A New Beginning. I’ll show you all my cows because they’re bomb as fuck. My first cow is named Oven and I have a baby one named Chaos.”

Roman laughed as Virgil started up the game. “Awesome. You play it often?”

“Eh, sometimes. It’s not my favorite game, but I carry it with me because it’s good for calming anxiety down. All I gotta do is feed my animals and mine and shit. Nothing else matters, you know?”

Roman nodded as best he could from Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil loaded up his save file and started to show Roman around his farm, mostly skipping the crops and going straight to the pets and farm animals with the most ridiculous names Virgil could get away with using only six letters. Virgil chatted away about his game and read all the speech bubbles out loud, showing off his wife who he swears he married platonically since his character was obviously gay and talking about his rivalry with the hair stylist. Roman wasn’t responding much, just a few hums and little laughs here and there, but Virgil didn’t mind. So long as his friend was feeling better, that was all that mattered.

A while later, Virgil was baking desserts for a contest being held in town when he spoke up again. “I’m shit at cooking good stuff in this game, but I can make some neat pancakes, apparently. I’m gonna make this contest my bitch.”

There was no response. That wasn’t very strange in itself, but usually when Virgil sweared, Roman at least made a small huff of a laugh from his shoulder. But this time, he was completely quiet. Virgil looked over at his shoulder when he almost awwww’ed out loud.

Roman had fallen back asleep, his mouth open slightly with his arms cuddling Princess extra close as she seemed to relax alongside him. He was adorable, and in a moment of softness that Virgil would deny to the end of his days, he helped Roman to lay back in bed and brushed the hair out of his face. Roman still clung slightly to him even as he slept, so Virgil accepted his fate and moved to curl up alongside him, continuing his game with a smile on his face.

“Your sleep schedule is gonna be absolutely fucked, dude.” Virgil said. There was no response, obviously, and Virgil didn’t talk to his sleeping friend after that. He just took a mental note to tell his parents he was staying the night before it got too late and kept caring for his farm.

Maybe later he’d wake Roman up and get him some dinner, letting him recharge and take a shower before they actually had to go to bed. He’d be too awake to actually sleep at first, but the company of his friend and the comfort of his dog would keep him calm through that, even when Roman hated being awake past eleven. Patton may even find out and tease Virgil about having a heart after all, which Virgil would deny until the end of his days. But his edgy reputation wasn’t what mattered right now.

Instead, Virgil smiled and cuddled closer as Roman slept peacefully.

[livingcorner]

How to stop cats pooping in your garden

Whether you have cats of your own, or live in an area with neighbours who own cats, the likelihood is at some point they will poop in your garden.

While most cats like to keep their toilet habits private and will bury their poos or stick to their litter tray, some felines get into the habit of going to the toilet on lawns or avoiding their own gardens altogether for another plot.

You're reading: How to stop cats pooping in your garden

And that’s the last thing you want to find when you’re trimming your grass or planting up your flower beds.

So, to help you regain control of your garden and deter cats from using it as a portaloo, here are some recommended tricks and products you can use.

How to stop cats pooping in my garden?

Like dogs, cats have a keen sense of smell – so by learning which smells they don’t like, you can deter cats from coming into your garden, or get them to avoid certain areas.

Try scents such as:

• Citrus

• Lavender

• Peppermint

• Cinnamon

Mix a few drops of essential oil with water in a spray bottle, then apply to your garden. Repeat as necessary. You can also use citrus peels for a longer-lasting solution.

Another solution that is particularly useful if cats tend to use your flower beds, is to lay twigs or chicken wire over any bare patches of soil. Twigs are easier to manoeuvre, and particularly good for veg patches so that the plants don’t get disturbed while they grow.

Read more: Permaculture Gardens – Benefits Of Permaculture Gardening

How to create a space for litter outside

If you find messes on your lawn, one solution is to create an outside litter tray/an area where they can poo.

If it’s your own cat that’s started going on the lawn, you can introduce them to their new toilet spot in the same way you would their litter tray, by gently holding their front paws and ‘digging’ in it a little.

If transferring from a litter tray to outside, put a small amount of their cat litter in the spot so they recognise the smell.

Our choice of the best repellents to stop cats pooping in your garden

As well as these natural solutions there are also plenty of products you can buy to deter cats from going to the toilet in your garden:

Just so you know, while we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this page, we never allow this to influence product selections. Read why you can trust us here.

Get Off My Garden Cat & Dog RepellentBest repellent for all weather conditions

Get Off jelly-like crystals are effective in all weather conditions and can be used on paving, lawns and flower beds. They work by slowly releasing a strong, highly scented odour which confuses both cats’ and dogs sense of smell. Over a period of weeks, they will be trained to move away from the treated areas to those where they can detect evidence of previous fouling odours. Each bottle can cover 71 square metres.

Review: “These work! I have a vegetable patch which next door’s cat thought was his toilet. It was so annoying. I bought some of this repellent and it works. These are the second lot I’ve bought as they are so good. They arrived on time and I would recommend.”

Defenders Cat Scatter GranulesBest biodegradable repellent

Defenders Cat Scatter Granules contain natural aromatic plant oils on an inert clay carrier to deter cats and dogs from digging, scratching and fouling in the garden and patio areas. Features an easy to use shaker dispensing cap for easy, even distribution of granules. Each bottle contains 500g treating 150sqm.

NOTE: The solutions above are better if you own cats and simply want them to avoid pooping in certain areas.

Products to stop cats coming into your garden

If you want to deter cats from coming into your garden completely – try the below. These are all humane products:

Silent Roar Cat Repellent Best repellent for warmer weather

Silent Roar cat repellent is highly effective, due to the fact that it plays on the territorial instincts of cats. Cats warn each other away by marking their territory, and even the bravest cat will retreat at the smell of lion dung. These pellets contain no artificial chemicals or any ingredients which are harmful to your soil or plants. One application can help to keep unwanted cats out of your garden for up to three months.

Review: “When cats started using even ornamental planters as toilets, it was time to do something drastic! I released ‘Lions’ following instructions, carefully. Cats gave garden a wide berth for at least a month. Recent very heavy rain has probably washed the scent away. so will reapply as there are unwelcome signs in the first area to be covered, but I would say, it does work where all else fails. Thank you!!!”

Metal Cat Silhouettes with Reflective EyesRecommended

Believe it or not, these cat silhouettes can help deter cats from your garden completely harmlessly. With reflective glass eyes on a painted black metal body, you can position the three different poses anywhere in your garden and it will keep cats and rodents away from your flowerbeds and vegetable patches.

Review: “I bought these to stop other cats from using my front garden as their own personal toilet – I don’t even own a cat and it’s bad enough picking up my own dog’s poo, so I stuck these in strategic places around the garden and they work fantastically – not had to pick up any cat poo from my garden since.”

Read more: Soak Up the Rain: Rain Gardens | US EPA

Ultrasonic Cat ScarerBest repellent using sound motion dection

Using a sound motion detector is a safe and humane way to keep cats and other unwanted pests such as foxes, squirrels and rodents out of your garden. The infrared PIR motion sensor detects movement and body heat up to 7m away, and will emit a high-frequency sound that is almost inaudible to humans, but will dissuade cats from coming near.

Review: “I’ve been having so many issues with cats in the garden. Not only fouling, but also killing anything and everything that moves. They pretty much spend all night, every night in the garden. It’s been a real pain. Until now.

“These things actually seem to be working. Whereas there wasn’t a night where the cats weren’t in the garden for about 6 hours a time, they haven’t spent any time in the garden at all since these have been installed.

“I’ve seen the cats approach the garden, the sensor has activated, the cat reacts to it and legs it out of the garden. These things have been a huge breakthrough.”

Motion Activated Sprinkler SystemRecommended

This cat deterrent fires a 5-second burst of water when triggered, and is particularly good for lawns or large open areas. It has an easily adjustable range of sensitivity settings and covers an area of at least 100sqm.

Review: “The garden fouler arrived – carefully walking through the bushes to leave her calling card on my lawn. With the arrogant confidence of a zen master she eyed her spot. Watching from the kitchen window in the darkness, throat dry, and full of anticipation I waited for what I hoped would be a beautiful moment. The cat slowly and cautiously crept toward the lawn, stopped to take one more look, yes all was well…. then BAM what the #$% was that! Got you! Oh the joy! The fouler leapt with shock and ran for his life never to foul my garden again.”

Read more popular articles

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The best mouse traps that actually work (and are humane)

The best squirrel baffles for your bird feeder

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

source https://livingcorner.com.au/how-to-stop-cats-pooping-in-your-garden-3/

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 180

180

Lance cleaned. He cleaned like a vampire possessed. Nothing escaped his cleaning. From the top of the house to the bottom was vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed, washed, packed and organised. He didn’t stop for sleep. The door to the nursery was shut. The room taboo in the household. Every trace of Keith’s scent was washed away. Keith’s things packed up neatly. Some things slightly tear damaged and a photo frame may now be glassless as it’d been hurled out the bedroom window in a fit of anger. Kosmo didn’t escape. He got bathed, groomed, nails clipped, and bedding washed. Blue got extra wet food, plenty of snuggles, and carried around as she protested loudly.

Stripping his bed, he told himself he was being stupid sleeping with so many blankets. He was a grown man, and grown men didn’t act this way. He also didn’t stop limiting his strength. Able to lift most furniture one handed as he vacuumed, then again as he ran the mop over the floor. Frustrated at the lack of speed with human appliances, he’d nearly hurled the washing machine outside in a fit of rage when the rinse cycle took too long. If Keith couldn’t love him any more, he needed to stop relying on him and believing in love like a dumb teen. Show after show was deleted from his watch lists. He’d have deleted the whole section off streaming if he could have. Matt and Rieva were in Platt so Keith could get used to their scents before the moon, leaving him alone, after asking Pidge and Hunk for some space and time to rest up.

Every single particle of his house reminded him of Keith. Every joke they’d shared. Every dumb plan they’d made. The scratches in the floorboards from where Keith tried to kill him. All the good times. By the time he was done, the only scent in the air was the “pine fresh” scent of aerosol disinfectant and cat poop from Blue’s litter tray. When the house was clean, he started baking. In all his cleaning, he’d forgotten Keith’s favourite coffee cup. Seeing it sitting next to the coffee machine, he missed the other half of his soul that didn’t seem to exist any more.

*

Keith... Keith didn’t know what to make of the world anymore. Fangs. Claws. Yellow eyes. A rage inside him that couldn’t be contained. He didn’t know left from right. Everyone was a foe. Everyone including the one person who absolutely hadn’t been. Lance. Lance who smelt like something he wanted to roll in. Lance who’s egos made him all weird and jumpy, and this weird other messed up self mad for no reason that he could understand. He didn’t know it’d be like this. This... this existence. He didn’t know this and he didn’t know himself anymore.

He was scared. He was scared of the world. He was scared of himself. Lance came and said a lot of things to him, and he didn’t get it. Lance was being kind and sweet, but he was just so angry. He hated this. Lance hated him. Then Lance loved him. Then Lance was leaving. Then Lance wanted him at the scan. Then he didn’t. Then he was gone. And he didn’t get it. He didn’t get why he opened his mouth and said the wrong thing. He’d driven Lance away from him. They’d been so happily in love. Every single touch radiated love. He didn’t really remembered mad at Lance. Coran said that was coma related and okay. He just... didn’t... How could he be around Lance when he was this mad?

Starting small, Keith wasn’t allowed out the medical wing. He’d Shiro twice. The third time he couldn’t look at him. His ego saying some not so nice things about his brother. He got Shiro didn’t want him to die and that he’d thought this Keith’s only chance. But Lance didn’t like him like this. He didn’t like him like this. Everything was too much, but it didn’t stop coming and he didn’t know what to do. He was being too blunt. Krolia had tried to have a conversation with him, but then he’d gotten all cranky and before he knew it he’d broken the hospital table in front of him. He couldn’t do anything right. He just... wanted Lance. He wanted Lance to fix things. To fix him. The furthest he’d gone since turning was down the hall and back again, to get him used to sounds. God. He hated sounds. He didn’t see how he’d ever get used to things he’d never noticed before. As he sat waiting patiently, he could see Coran on the phone outside the room. He looked worried and Keith knew he’d taken the call outside so Keith couldn’t hear what he said. They were probably organising his execution order instead of letting him go see Lance.

Letting himself back into the room, Coran looked upset. He smelt funny. If old man had a scent that smelt slightly like mushrooms were growing on him, that’d be the closest thing to Coran’s scent he could come up with. Sitting down, Coran rested his head in his hands. This was Lance related and Keith fucking knew it. His ego disgustingly annoying. How could it be okay with Lance hurting, and hurting for Lance? How Matt, Rieva, and Lance made a family, he didn’t know

“What is it? He doesn’t want me there, does he?”

With a pained groan, Coran raised his head. The man seemed as if he hadn’t been sleeping well. Actually, this had to make the top 20 times he’d seen Coran stressing

“Well. What happened?!”

Keith had noticed he’d turned into Krolia 2.0 with the bluntness. He could see why werewolves were thought of as dicks, because he felt like a bag of ducks deserving a dick punch

“I’m sorry, my boy. I think you may have to stay here. Rieva and Matt returned home today... Lance has had a bit of a breakdown”

What did Lance have to be having a breakdown over?! He wasn’t suddenly a werewolf. There went this stupid poxy new ego of his. He didn’t like it

“What do you mean?”

“He’s cleaned the house and shut himself up in his office”

That didn’t sound that unusual. Lance took pride in his house being neat and organised. Plus Pidge and Hunk would keep him from going too far into his head

“He left two days ago”

Keith wanted to shut up. Why did he have to be so angry? Why did his ego see Lance hitting the end of his mental rope as weak. Lance wasn’t weak at all. He was strong, kind and very beautiful. Why did every emotion have to be anger. Happy, nope, better glare at the world. Confused, whelp, better snap. Actually angry, here came the growls, snarls, and claws. Lance was beautiful. But suffered from low self esteem and anxiety. He knew that... But how did he know that? He wasn’t Keith anymore. He shouldn’t know things about human Keith’s life.

“Yes. It seems he told Hunk and Pidge he came to rest, cleaned the house, and locked himself away, instead of resting. Rieva said he’s stripped and remade his bed”

What was wrong with that? That’s what he normally did

“I must go to him”

“He’s probably just working”

“Keith, you misunderstand. Rieva said he’s... not in a good state”

“Lance loves cleaning”

“His bed only had one blanket on it. He’d denying himself the comfort of a nest, and gone against his instincts to nest. The staff barely managed to bring him out of labour. He doesn’t know how close he truly came to things being too late. I fear he wishes to do something very stupid. He called Curtis, asking if Curtis had ever heard of vampire returning to being a human”

Why would Lance want to be human again? Okay. Lance had always wanted to be human again. But he couldn’t carry the twins if he was human. His ego didn’t like that. It kind of liked the twins. It was a weird feeling. Like pride and confusion. What did Lance gain from being human. He wouldn’t...

“He wants to be human again because of me”

“I fear so. Curtis called Rieva, not knowing she and Matt were returning. They’ve both being commuting for work as it was. Lance feels that you cannot love him because he’s a vampire”

Keith let out a shaky breath. Ego angry. Him... shaken. That didn’t sound safe or sane. Two weeks was a lifetime when their lives were so messed up..

“If you’re going to see him, can I come?”

Coran lifted his head

“I don’t know, my boy. You’re still going through the changes of being turned. Your ego is currently unpredictable...”

“But Lance is hurting!”

With a shaky breath, Coran let his head drop again

“He’s been hurting for a long time. He didn’t wish the turn upon you. He and Shiro haven’t spoken to my knowledge since you woke. He requested we not be mad at Shiro, knowing Shiro was in an impossible situation with me unable to do anything. I tried all I could. But each time I adjusted your quintessence you had a negative effect. Initially when you were comatosed, Lance’s presence kept you stable. You seemed to know he was there, despite that being quite impossible. He made you a nest, gathered things of comfort, trying to make this transition less scary for you. But as strong as he is, he couldn’t help but lose his cool when it came to you. He combatted his depression staying by your side to care for you. He still loves you a great deal. Any actions you perceive were done in pity, were done in with great love and respect. He knew his presence may lead to insanity by overwhelming you with his own ego, that is the sole reason he left. He placed your health and needs above his own... It was agonising to watch”

And what had he done? Lost his cool because he didn’t know why there now felt like were two of him in his body? Told Lance he wanted to die? That he’d rather be dead than with him

“I hurt him”

“I spoke with Allura. Lance understands. He too went through the change, though he was much younger and slept longer before waking. Vampires also don’t rely on the first full moon to stabilise their egos. She said Lance was most distraught over having broken your trust in him”

This was what Keith didn’t get. How Lance could love him when he wasn’t Keith anymore. Lance smelt weird, but maybe it wasn’t a bad kind of a weird. It was kind of a weird that made him want to roll around in it

“Coran. I don’t know. He loved Keith. I’m not Keith anymore”

Coran chuckled, the sound turning deep into a proper laugh. Trying to recompose himself, the fae wiped at his eyes as Keith clenched his hands, angry automatically

“Sorry, lad. If you’re not Keith, then I don’t know who you are. Just because you’re now a werewolf doesn’t mean you’ll forget being human, or have a whole new identity. You’re still Keith, you just Keith with a little extra now. Goodness me, don’t tell me you’ve been fighting with your memories. You’re still you, my boy! Yours and Lance’s quintessence are still very much connected. That may have wavered but it’s still there. Fancy thinking you weren’t Keith. That would be like Matt not being Matt. I will say, once the moon passes you will notice I real change in my our ego”

Keith felt like of how Kosmo looked each time he had to scold him. He didn’t know how this worked. All Lance’s explanations on ego seemed lacking, not that Lance hadn’t tried, he’d thought he got. He didn’t. He was so tired of being angry, but was angry at himself for being angry so it was kind of like being stuck in an infuriating loop

“So I’m still me?”

He didn’t feel like him. He wouldn’t be so angry at Lance if he was him

“You are, my boy. I know it’s very scary right now, but things will be better. You managed not to snarl at Matt the last time he visited. That’s excellent progress for a wolf who wasn’t been touched by the moon”

He hadn’t liked being visited. He felt like a caged animal on display

“Will this anger ever go away?”

“With time. Oh, dear. We really must be going to see Lance. Any later and you’ll transform in the car. I’m most anxious to drive again today. I’ve been practicing”

*

Coran still couldn’t drive. Keith frustrated and feeling quite ill well before leaving city limits. The restlessness he felt seemed to have turned his stomach into a pit of snakes. He could hear the way the car gears screamed in abuse each time Coran tried to change gear. This was not fun. Maybe it’d have been safer for him to stay at VOLTRON for his first full moon. Matt and Rieva always seemed to be particularly horny and energised before it happened, but they weren’t douches to Lance like he’d been. He hadn’t even asked Coran for a phone to talk to Lance, as Lance had suggested he did. The amount of faith a vampire seemed to have in him made his ego go all weird. How was he supposed to be with Lance if he seemed to hate the mere fact his boyfriend existed?

And that was another thing. Were they still boyfriends? Like, boyfriend boyfriends? Or estranged boyfriends? Lance didn’t come see him until Shiro went running to him. His Lance would have flipped the world off and stayed. This Lance wasn’t acting right. Like Lance was mad and he could feel it in the air. He didn’t get it. If this was his Lance, than why did he have to be mean and cruel to feel better? He felt like everyone who’d ever bullied him had taken over his body and now he enjoyed inflicting pain as much he did.

Reaching Lance’s house, things felt stranger than ever. He knew the house. He knew the drive. He knew it, but it was as if he was seeing everything all over again. The sounds of nature made him feel as if he had that chirping arsehole symphony of cicadas playing just for him. He could smell cow shit... something dead... Lance... as well as two werewolves. Lance always said they smelt like wet dog. He supposed there was a definite trace of that. Matt didn’t smell awful, but he did smell like he needed to be on guard around him. Rieva smelt nicer. Like flowers and girly shit... and stuff. Matt was pretty growly too. Apparently sniffing someone’s mate was a no go, even if you’re only trying to tell your ego that they’re not a threat.

Opening the door, Kosmo came bounding out. His precious boy all paws and no grace as he crashed into Keith, knocking him on his arse as he took a paw to his junk

“Kosmo!”

Kosmo yipped as he gave exactly zero fucks, pushing Keith down and laying on top of him. What the hell was this? Kosmo had knocked him down in the past, but wasn’t he supposed to be a powerful werewolf now. And why was he laying on him. Coming out the house, Rieva came jogging over, Keith growling at her sending Kosmo bolting away from him with his tails between his legs

“That’s enough out of you. Coran, thank you for coming. Keith... what are you thinking letting Kosmo climb on you? He’ll never respect you as his owner if you let him boss you around”

Keith spluttered. His ego bruised enough over being taken out Kosmo

“Me? He knocked me down!”

Rieva placed her hands on her hips as she stared down at him

“Because he’s missed his human. He’s been glued to Lance’s side until Lance shut him out the office. Coran, I think it’s best you go see Lance right away. The sun will be setting soon and Keith needs a run down on what to expect”

Coran took the weirdness in his stride. All their friends were so goddamn weird

“Right you are, my girl! Matt not here?”

“He’s around the back trying to stop Lance if he tries to climb out the window. I did tell him Lance was too pregnant to be running off, but you know Matt”

“I’ll make sure to talk some sense into Lance. You two enjoy your run. Please don’t let Keith do anything stupid”

“Coran, you know Keith. He and Lance are very stupid”

Coran winked at the pair of them

“In all the right ways. Rightyo, I’ll see you two later”

Left with Rieva, Keith continued to stare up at her. He’d only come to see Lance, this whole moon thing made little sense

“Stop staring. You’ll be changing soon, and I suggest you not do it in the drive way”

“I’ll be changing?”

“You’ll be meeting your wolf side tonight. The first step is getting naked”

Oh no. Not more nudity. He wasn’t okay with the nudity

“I... uh...”

Rieva thrust her hand out

“You can’t deny it. You feel the energy don’t you? We feel it. Like there’s electricity in your body with no where for it to go”

“How do you know?”

Rieva rolled her eyes at him

“I’ve been a werewolf for years now. I think I know when I meet a newly turned wolf. Though you are rather sane so that does make talking easier”

“I don’t feel very sane”

“You’d be feeling differently if you weren’t. Tearing at your own skin by now. I was not entirely convinced in Coran’s methods, but you have definitely changed”

“What methods? He had someone bite me while I was unconscious”

“He did no such thing. He even chose a different werewolf at the request of Lance, trying to spare you the awkwardness of having one of us sure you. Now, out to the back with you. Unless you want your clothes destroyed when you turn”

Reluctantly Keith took Rieva’s hand. He didn’t feel like he was going to turn into anything. He just felt... cranky. Scowling at Rieva, Rieva ignored his mood, leading him off behind the house.

Matt gave up his window duties when Keith and Rieva came around the corner. Kalternecker letting out a lazy moo, eyeing him with zero interest

“Keith! Oh, man! Look at you. How do you feel?”

“Cranky”

“I remember my first time. Rieva turned me on a moon, so I was lucky there. We’ll have you back to normal soon enough”

“Matt, be nice. He’s still developing his ego. Keith, how do you feel?”

“Like I want to punch myself in the dick”

Rieva giggled at him

“We’ll the moon is in the sky. But you really do need to strip off. It won’t be long now”

“Can I not?”

“And have Lance sew your clothes back together? I think he’s having a hard enough time as it is. The house has never looked cleaner”

“Lance cleans all the time”

“Ah, but this time he cleaned Blue’s litter tray twice, before crying when she messed it up a third time. Now, clothes off!”

Keith hid himself behind Lance’s roses to strip. Matt and Rieva not caring as they stripped off in the backyard. Matt scolded for not picking up his clothes. Keith didn’t get how Matt’s ego could take it... and look happy about it. Whistling as he dropped his pants, Keith glared at Rieva who clapped her hands

“Take it off!”

“Fuck off”

Matt chuckled at him. Keith wanted to thump him

“Oooh, this is going to be so much fun. Have you gone over ground rules?”

Rieva shook her head

“Not yet. But you can, if you’d like?”

“Okay, man! Listen up. Rieva is my mate. She sets where we go and how far we go. If we get horny, you go away. I’m not to blame if you come too close to my mate. That’d be like me watching you and Lance have sex... actually, that wouldn’t be too bad, but it’d be more like me being in the middle of it and I’d prefer to keep my balls. You stay with us. If you get lost, stay where you are. We can sniff you out. You don’t come back to the house until the sunrises again. No chasing humans and no going near town. Pack playing is a thing. We fight and we bite, but it’s not to hurt each other. Oh! Don’t wake Lance up. And don’t try to hump a stray dog... What am I forgetting?”

“The most important thing. You’ll be overwhelmed. You’ll want to run. Let yourself run. It’s good for you. It gets the good feelings going. You’ll only be able to partly control your ego, so you’ll howl and do all sorts of wolf things that you don’t need to be embarrassed about. You’ll probably feel really horny too”

This didn’t sound fun. Rieva and Matt kept staring at him

“What?”

“We’re waiting for you to come out of there”

“I don’t think I want to”

“Dude, get used to the nudity. Babe, can I shift now?”

“If you want to. I can watch Keith”

“As long as that’s all you do”

Rieva wrapped her arms around Matt, the pair sharing a very passionate kiss. He used to kiss Lance like that. He missed Lance. Why couldn’t Lance be a werewolf? Then he’d be able to be with him... Shifting into a wolf, Keith noticed things he hadn’t noticed before when the pair had turned. Like the way Matt’s bones cracked in a way that sounded like agony. Lance looked so cute when he “batted out”. A little ball of anger that fit nicely under Keith’s chest and fed off his fingers with those razor sharp teeth of his.

Nudging at Rieva’s leg, Rieva ruffled the fur between Matt’s ears

“I’ll join you soon. Why don’t you race to the back fence and back, warm up a bit for tonight?”

Matt nudged up into Rieva’s hand, before fixing Keith in the gaze of his yellow eyes. Keith feeling like someone had doused him in cold water. Rieva was Matt’s mate. If he touched her, Matt would tear his throat out. How this was going to be fun, Keith didn’t know.

Uncomfortable being naked, Keith sat on the grass. Blades stabbing into his bare arse as he hugged his knees to his chest and waited for something to happen. His butt felt wet and he didn’t like it. With his keen sense of smell, he knew he wasn’t sitting where Matt had peed. He’d never noticed how much things smelt. From outside he could smell the scent of tea on the air. He’d heard Lance answer the door to Coran. Lance knew he was here, but he hadn’t come out... and Keith didn’t like it

“Stop thinking. Let the feeling build”

Easy for Rieva to say. She wasn’t stuck in this weird arse situation. Looking back at the house, he wanted Lance to appear in the doorway

“He won’t come out. It’s safer for him and your twins to stay inside”

“He doesn’t even want me here”

Rieva smacked his arm

“Don’t be stupid”

“He wanted to know how to be human again. He doesn’t like me like this”

“He adores you”

“That’s why I’m here and he couldn’t care less”

“If you’re going to be like this, I’ll leave you alone for your first turn”

“No one asked you stay! Go on then”

“Damn it. We both know I wouldn’t. Being a werewolf isn’t too terrible”

“Says you”

“Yes. Says me. Both Matt and I enjoy a relative non limiting normal life. It is possible... oh, I’m going to shift... I can feel the changing coming. It’ll hurt for your first time, but as fast as your body is breaking, it is healing. The more you change your form, the less it’ll hurt”

Rieva shifted into her wolf form, howling at Matt who was running around like an idiot. It disturbed Keith that he could see the pair. Running over to his mate, he tackled Rieva down, Rieva nipping at Matt’s ear, before looking at Keith as if to ask him why he hadn’t turned. How should he know? He was sitting. The slimmest line of red had already disappeared. Maybe he was broken wolf? That’d be hilarious. And just about on par with his life. Opening his mouth to the tell pair to fuck off, he felt the bones in his hands start to shift, horrified as his skin slowly rippled and tuffs to fur pushed through. The pain was immense, yet he couldn’t help but scream when that pain hit his chest and he could literally feel his ribs cracking. Rieva was right. The pain was weird, he could feel it, then came this almost rush of release on its heels.

Turning for the first time took time. His body writhing on the grass before the pain finally left and he was left feeling limp. Looking down to his hands, he saw big black paws. With all the grace of Kosmo after taking a thermometer up the butt, Keith rose to his feet, everything seemed so much bigger, clearer... with a growl, he got that Matt wanted him to follow him. Keith trying to work out how to move his legs. He felt like he looked like one of those cats from the videos where the owner puts cardboard rolls on their legs and they walk funny. He didn’t like it. He swayed like he was drunk. He could smell way too much. The dew on the grass. The birds in the trees... and his hearing... He could hear the TV on in the house, but somehow knew Lance wasn’t watching it. Miserably failing at walking, his legs got tangled and he fell.

Matt didn’t laugh at him. Keith confused by the fellow wolf’s actions as he trotted over started pushing into Keith’s side. Oh. Matt was trying to get him back on his feet... his feet that felt weirdly big. They’d said he’d lose control... was he supposed to be thinking in wolf? Was he thinking in wolf and his brain translating to human? Or was he thinking in wolf and just knew what it meant? Raising his moist nose, he sniffed the air. Something smelt really, really good... and he wanted to pee on it. Growling at him, Matt practically shoved him onto his feet. Keith stretching out each step. He knew how to human walk, but four legs... they didn’t move like his arms and legs. His ego was laughing at him. Mocking him. It was so weird. It didn’t have an actual voice yet he understood it so clearly. He was a wolf. He was a werewolf. Top of the chain. His actions were disgracing himself and the werewolf community.

Not moving fast enough, Matt nipped on his ear. Keith letting out a whine so pathetic he wanted to be scooped up like when Kosmo was a puppy and carried around. He could scent Lance way too clearly. His ego like “Who the fuck is this!?”, while his heart longed to see Lance and show him he’d made it through to this stage. Casting his gaze up to the moon, he really could feel something there. An imaginary tug. Almost as if the moon was so much closer to Earth than it should be. He couldn’t see the craters on the moon, yet it shone pretty damn prettily up there in the blue black inkyness of the sky.

Moving back to his side, Rieva nudged his front foot with her equally wet nose. Matt growling at the pair of them as Keith breathed in her scent. Parts of him were tingling, but not for her. What was this? 30 seconds in and he was horny? Is that what it was always like? He could smell Matt wanted Rieva as badly as Rieva wanted Matt. He wanted to bite Matt, but this was all so weird. Nudging his foot again, Keith took a cautious step forward, stretching out his leg then not sure how to make the rest of his body reach his front paw. The grass was squishy... squishy and he could feel the grains of sand against his paws. He didn’t like it. His body wanted to run, but there he was... not even able to walk. Whining sadly, Rieva huffed, knocking into him, and making him fall back over. Why did he have to have four legs?! No one needed four legs! Is this why octopi had 8. Because four sucked?

Rieva and Matt ended up boxing him in. Keith moving his legs to match their steps. He felt huge compared to them. Their paws seemed nicer than his huge black ones. His huge black ones just wanted to trip him over... He must have got the hang of it though, before he knew he’d done it, he’d reached the back fencing with the pair of them. Casting a glance back at Lance’s, he could still pick up traces of Lance. He didn’t want to cross the fence line, but his new pack gave him no choice. Rieva going first to show him how it was done, then when he failed and got his legs tangled up again, Matt grabbed him by the scruff and dragged him over the wooden fencing and off towards the wooded area in the distance.

[gusu-emilu]

Cantatio: Chapter Five

Ship: Lan Zhan / Wei Ying (POV Lan Zhan)

Summary: Wei Ying gives Lan Zhan a scare while bringing pixiu statues to life in Song Lan’s class.

Cloud Recesses Academy AU, Rated T - read on AO3

Lan Wangji stumbled over as fast as he could. His legs were not working reliably after having so much of his energy drained. What kind of state would Wei Wuxian be in?

He squatted in front of Wei Wuxian, grasped his shoulders, and lifted his hunched torso. His eyes were shut tight, and his mouth hung open, threads of saliva beaded on his tongue.

Starting to panic, Lan Wangji pressed three fingers into a groove on Wei Wuxian’s neck. He was warm. His pulse was surprisingly fast.

“Wei Ying?”

< Ch. 4 | Ch. 6 > |  chapter list

Although Lan Wangji would be disinclined to downplay his uncle, he had to admit that Beings & Creatures with Song Lan was much more interesting than Trans-Himalayan poetry.

Half of the intrigue was the professor himself. He was terse in words and frosty in demeanor, but beneath his withdrawn temperament was a vast expanse of worldly knowledge and wary cynicism that did not seem like it belonged in a man who couldn’t have been much older than thirty. His presence reminded Lan Wangji of something he had felt before.

Lan Wangji had met many Lan Clan elders. Some members of this venerated generation carried a certain type of sorrow. It was a quiet, subdued torment that resided within their aged bones, dormant and faceless.

In a way he could not comprehend, Lan Wangji was able to sense its aura. It made him stiffen when those weathered men and women spoke his name or touched his shoulders, as he was overcome with a foreboding that if he got too close, their frail sorrow would sense his youth and vigor, and slink out of its hosts and into Lan Wangji’s heart to feed on his fresh life force.

These were people who were deeply haunted, but with the blessing of age had managed to integrate their pain into the sinews of their body until their identity and their misery were one and the same. It was not peace. It was the closest these people could come to peace.

Song Lan was one of these people.

Why did a man so young carry such a burden, and how had it settled into his being so seamlessly?

Yesterday evening, Lan Wangji had asked his brother what he knew about Song Lan. It was not much. Lan Xichen remarked that Song Lan had been a rogue cultivator for over a decade, traveling to places beyond the reach of the major cultivation sects. He went wherever the stars guided him, and he solved whatever problems crossed his path. There was no record of his deeds, only that his name roused a vaguely positive reaction if spoken in a few villages spread throughout the land. This was his first time teaching at the Cloud Recesses Academy after being personally invited by Lan Qiren.

Lan Wangji decided that he liked Song Lan, if only for the secrets he kept.

He liked Song Lan’s class, too. The other half of the intrigue of Beings & Creatures was the course material.

Instead of studying at desks in a classroom, the disciples kneeled in a clearing of soft trimmed grass that was a short walk away from the central buildings of the Cloud Recesses. The sunshine was warm upon their backs. In the distance were lush forests and misty mountains.

Song Lan parsed the disciples into groups of two, then took his time as he wordlessly weaved through the clearing and placed before each pair a greyish-brown stone carving of a pixiu, a magical hybrid that looked like a winged, serpentine roaring lion. The statues, small enough to hold in one hand, were old and beat-up. Each wide-mouthed pixiu carving sat atop a rectangular platform.

Lan Wangji’s pixiu sat in the grass between him and his partner Jin Zixuan. Jin Zixuan leaned forward and hesitantly inspected the pixiu.

“It’s kind of cute. In an ugly way,” he remarked.

Jin Zixuan’s head bobbed up and down every few moments to judge the statue from different angles, while Lan Wangji watched Song Lan in anticipation for their instructions.

Song Lan was in no hurry to start. His posture was stiff, but his jaw was soft and his eyelids were heavy. His robes were dark and held tints of cool blue and green. The diagonal golden hilt of a sword was visible behind his shoulder.

A cloud of reluctant curiosity formed over the disciples’ heads. They had no idea what the lesson would be about. In fact, their professor had not said anything other than ‘Do not touch these.’ He hadn’t even introduced himself yet.

On Lan Wangji’s left and two rows ahead, Wei Wuxian was partnered with Nie Huaisang. Both of them were crouched down in the grass to examine the backside of the pixiu.

“It really doesn’t have a butthole,” Wei Wuxian whispered.

“Why is that the first thing you look for?” Jiang Cheng said through clenched teeth from where he kneeled behind them.

Nie Huaisang laid a dainty finger on his chin. “Legend has it that after a pixiu pooped in the Jade Emperor’s palace, the Emperor spanked it so hard that its butt sealed up.”

Lan Wangji’s exhales became a bit more forceful.

Thankfully, the shameless disciples were silenced by a frigid glare from Song Lan.

A few paces away from the class, Jin Guangyao sat alone without a statue. Jin Guangyao may have been a cultivator and the son of the Jin Clan Leader, but he was also the son of a prostitute. He existed in a precarious state of ambiguity—privileged enough to attend classes with the best disciples in the land, but too unclean to fully participate in them. He was condemned to forever watch and serve from the sidelines, true greatness an arm’s length away but yet just beyond his fingertips.

At least, since Jin Guangshan had snatched him out of Nie Mingjue’s more humanizing tutelage the minute he showed promise. Lan Wangji understood why Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen complained so much about their doe-eyed friend joining the Jin Clan.

Suddenly, Song Lan, too, looked at Jin Guangyao. A subtle, inscrutable line appeared in his brow. Otherwise, he did not move.

Jin Guangyao clutched his robes uncomfortably as the professor stared at him.

Another few seconds passed.

By now, the one disciple left to finish examining his pixiu and turn his attention to Song Lan was Wen Ning. Finally, Wen Ning looked up with his dark, expressive eyes.

It was only then that Song Lan spoke.

“Welcome. I am Song Lan of Baixue Temple. Today we will learn to animate guardian statues.”

This was a hefty topic for their first day. Normally a round of lively comments would spread through the crowd of disciples after such an announcement, but no one made a sound.

Song Lan was like a source of gravity, drawing in all attention, noise, even the bright sunlight, and weaving it into a narrow thread of solemnity.

“Someone please inform the class of what a guardian spirit is.”

It was Luo Qingyang who spoke.

“Guardian spirits are formed from the intentions of the founders of a location and are housed in statues. Although many buildings have statues to ward off evil, most contain weak guardian spirits, if any at all. Thousands of prayer intentions of great conviction are necessary to form a potent guardian spirit. Usually only palaces, temples, and important locations like the Cloud Recesses have strong ones.”

Lan Wangji visualized the architecture of the Cloud Recesses. Small statues of animals sat upon its roofs, and guardian lions stood before its most important buildings. They had protected the Cloud Recesses for countless years.

“Very good. Guardian statues take the form of a powerful animal,” Song Lan continued. “Pixiu are a common example. Females have two antlers and fight off evil. Males have a single antler and attract wealth.”

“Why is mine female?” Wen Chao grumbled as though it were a terrible affront.

The frost in Song Lan’s visage turned to sharp ice.

“Why not?”

Wen Chao looked up with a start. Apparently, he had not expected Song Lan to hear, despite how loud his voice was. But a jerk before an audience of one didn’t always have qualms about being a jerk before all.

“Because, I’m a man! Give this to the girls instead.”

In the row behind him, Wen Qing rolled her eyes.

Song Lan gave his head a slight tilt. “Please prove to me, with textualized arguments, that there is an established, well-researched reason this should be done.”

Wen Chao scowled as he processed Song Lan’s words. “I’m male! There’s nothing more to it.”

“Can you prove it to me with words alone, other than references to your sex?”

“…”

“Every object—people, plants, even these statues—contains a balance of feminine and masculine, of yin and yang. To waste one is to starve the soul. If you would like to starve, I will not stop you.”

A vein bulged in Wen Chao’s neck. He looked like he was about to jump up, but having been bested, he did not reply.

“This is basic cultivation theory that a child would know. Do not make me question the legitimacy of your attendance here.”

Several of the disciples grinned and nodded their heads in agreement with Song Lan. Then again, it was easy to agree when the object of ridicule was a Wen.

Song Lan’s eyes left Wen Chao, and darted to Jin Guangyao again. That same line appeared in his forehead. This time, Lan Wangji recognized discomfort in his expression.

Strange.

Then Song Lan continued the lesson as if it had never been interrupted.

“A guardian statue can be animated in a time of crisis by drawing on its guardian spirit. However, animating even a small statue will greatly drain a cultivator’s spiritual energy. Attempting to animate one that is too large can destroy a cultivator’s golden core.

“You are young. Although you possess golden cores, they are immature and fragile. Therefore, you will practice by animating statues that contain weak guardian spirits, and you will work in pairs to combine your energies into a single summoning.”

Jin Zixuan turned his head to exchange glances with Lan Wangji, but Lan Wangji did not return the gesture. He stared at the pixiu, studying its single-horned head. It was male.

“Place one hand upon the statue and reach out to the spirit. Be careful. Once you contact the spirit, it will immediately begin absorbing your energy.”

With two fingers, Lan Wangji gently touched the left side of the pixiu’s head. The stone was rough and slightly warm from sitting in the sun.

Once his partner was also touching the pixiu, Lan Wangji closed his eyes and reached out to probe the spiritual energy orbiting him. He felt Jin Zixuan’s nervousness and determination enter his mind and become one with his thoughts.

Then, something pounded over his spiritual essence like a wave crashing on the shore in ocean storm. Like the tide washing that wave back out to sea, it pulled Lan Wangji.

No, it tore at him—it was draining him, ripping his core from him—

In a second, the pain was gone. He panted for breath. His body felt much weaker, like he had swum a mile at full speed on an empty stomach: sleepy, aching, and dizzy, but still healthy.

He opened his eyes.

The little stone creature had jumped off its platform. Its movements were rigid and awkward, but it was very much alive. It radiated a joyful, protective energy.

The pixiu bounded over to Jin Zixuan, who had dropped onto his stomach in exhaustion. Jin Zixuan peered up at the pixiu that practically stood atop his nose. He gave a weary smile.

Male pixiu sought wealth. Jin Zixuan was undoubtedly the richest person in the vicinity. Their guardian statue performed its duty well.

Lan Wangji observed the progress of the disciples surrounding him. No one had animated their statues as quickly as them. Most sat with clenched muscles as they pressed their hands against the pixiu, trembling and whimpering as they fell deeper into the trance.

To his left, beads of sweat dripped down the side of Jiang Cheng’s face as he bared his teeth.

Two rows ahead, Wei Wuxian’s black curtain of hair was outlined in a fluffy yellow halo created by the sunlight. He was arguing with Nie Huaisang before a still-frozen statue.

“Just put your hand on it!”

“No, it’s too scary!”

“Come on, Huaisang, it’s not that bad!”

“It was going to pull out my golden core! I didn’t like it at all!”

Wei Wuxian grabbed Nie Huaisang by the folds of his robes below his neck and shook him back and forth. Nie Huaisang’s head lolled left and right.

“It couldn’t have felt much worse than this!” Wei Wuxian teased.

Nie Huaisang grinned and tried to peel away Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Yeah, you’re way worse, Wei-xiong! Way worse!”

Lan Wangji became bitterly aware of the lack of Wei Wuxian’s hand on his own robes.

Wait, what?

Ridiculous, Lan Wangji decided, directing his judgement at the two boys in front of him, and not at himself, because that thought had never happened.

Wei Wuxian released Nie Huaisang with a flimsy shove. “Aiya, you’re useless, Huaisang. I’ll just do it myself.”

“Wait, but didn’t the daozhang say that two people—”

“Shh! I just wanna try! It can’t be that hard!”

Lan Wangji clenched his jaw. He had experienced firsthand how much spiritual energy the pixiu had taken from his golden core, and it was already enough to warp his breaths and exhaust his muscles. That was with the help of Jin Zixuan, who was one of the most powerful disciples.

Where was Song Lan? Did he not see what was happening?

Wei Wuxian wasn’t foolish enough to try to animate the statue himself, was he?

The young cultivator wrapped a hand around the neck of the pixiu.

Apparently, he was.

“Wei Ying!”

Lan Wangji jumped to his feet and was about to rush forward to aid Wei Wuxian with what remained of his own spiritual energy, but it was over already.

Wei Wuxian’s back rounded, and his arms fell limp into the grass. The pixiu jolted awake and ran around in circles. It looked like it had gone berserk.

“…Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang said with an undertone of dread. He poked Wei Wuxian in the shoulder.

There was no reaction.

“W-W-Wei-xiong???”

Lan Wangji stumbled over as fast as he could. His legs were not working reliably after having so much of his energy drained. What kind of state would Wei Wuxian be in?

He squatted in front of Wei Wuxian, grasped his shoulders, and lifted his hunched torso. His eyes were shut tight, and his mouth hung open, threads of saliva beaded on his tongue.

Starting to panic, Lan Wangji pressed three fingers into a groove on Wei Wuxian’s neck. He was warm. His pulse was surprisingly fast.

“Wei Ying?”

“LAN ZHAN!”

With a sadistic grin, Wei Wuxian shot his eyes open and thrust his fingertips into Lan Wangji’s chest, sending a terrifying jolt through his entire body. Lan Wangji’s heart exploded with fright as he tumbled backwards with a gasp.

“Hahahahahahaha!”

Wei Wuxian doubled over in laughter. Nie Huaisang stared in surprise, then soon joined him in the hilarity.

Song Lan appeared over their shoulders, his expression unamused.

“Compose yourselves. This is not a game,” he said. Then he slinked away to a different pair, leaving as abruptly as he came.

Lan Wangji’s tired, sluggish mind was still processing what happened. His fingers curled into his palms, and soon his fists shook with anger. His ears burned red.

“Wei Wuxian.”

“Ahahaha, so once I’m awake, it’s not Wei Ying anymore? Hahahaha! I’m so hurt, Lan Zhan! Maybe I should just stay asleep! Hahahaha!”

Wei Wuxian’s obnoxious demeanor was not even slightly subdued. He didn’t seem to have lost any energy to the pixiu that scampered away into the forest.

“How…How…”

“How did I do it?” Wei Wuxian said with a smirk. He crossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand in one swift, cocky motion.

“Remind me later. I’ll tell you during detention. You have the privilege of supervising me, right?”

Lan Wangji staggered to his feet and glowered down at Wei Wuxian.

“Do not speak to me again.”

* * *

The rest of Song Lan’s class was a blur fringed with silent fury. Lan Wangji’s brain was dominated by a single thought: He did not like Wei Wuxian. At all.

How had he animated the guardian statue by himself without losing energy? Had he and Nie Huaisang conspired just to play a joke on him?

However, he did not want to hear whatever explanation Wei Wuxian planned to offer later. He had heard his distasteful voice enough.

It took until Song Lan dismissed the disciples for Lan Wangji to fully organize his haywire emotions and regain his composure. It had not helped that his body had been exhausted for most of class. But at last, he felt strength and confidence return to his limbs, and his familiar unfaltering tranquility returned to his mind.

For the most part.

Then he remembered—Wen Qing. They needed to discuss the closet portal.

Lan Wangji barely had the chance to look around for the young medical student when she popped up at his side of her own accord.

She pointed an accusatory finger at his chest. “You will not speak a word to anyone about what you saw last night.”

Her brow was stern and authoritative, her eyes hawklike.

This was not a good start to the conversation.

* * *

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by liking, reblogging, and visiting me on AO3! New chapters posted every Monday on AO3 and Tuesday on Tumblr.

Ch. 6 > |  chapter list

[animalsatwildlilac]

Power Outage with Bearded Dragon

This beardie has a job. His name is Stripy, and he is a working lizard. His life is full of adventure at Wild Lilac preschool. But he does get weekends off, vacations, and even mental health days, just like me. I think he is lonely when we are not together.

On Thursday, when WL announced an early release because of the winter storm warning, I got the whole day off because I only teach in the afternoons. But I still needed to go in, briefly -- to tend to the animals before the roads got messy.

On the way there, I stopped for supplies at my local pet store, Tropical Hut. I bought 100 crickets and a package of frozen bloodworms.

When I parked in front of the school, rain was falling and the temperature was dropping. Masked parents were picking up their unmasked kids. I left 50 of the crickets in my car with plans to take them home for Stripy, my bearded dragon, and then I went to the animal room.

I fed and tucked our critters in –

Two cubes of bloodworms for the Axolotl;

Cucumber and carrots for the just-hatched baby snails;

Fresh pinecones and toilet paper rolls for the gerbils;

Hay for the new-found guinea pigs (see previous post);

Crickets in with the animals that eat crickets: the tarantula, the geckos, and the cane toad;

And food for the crickets themselves (some apple, some dog food);

The Madagascan Hissing cockroaches still had food;

The walking sticks are all out of bramble – I’m sorry, but they will be okay for a few days without food.

I headed home.

As I brought the deli container of crickets into my house (they had been in my car for about 45 minutes) I realized something was tragically wrong -- all 50 of them were on their backs, heels to heaven. My first though was carbon monoxide.  How could they all have DIED in such a short time? Then I realized maybe they weren’t dead – they were cold! Or did they freeze to death? It just hadn’t been that long. Such drama! I set them on a table and watched them, and as they warmed, they started to move. First a leg twitched, then another, then one flipped over. I was thinking how cool is this! Definitely something to explore with the kids – the freezing and warming of crickets.

And then, as I was deep in contemplation watching the flipping crickets, it’s 3 in the afternoon and -- the power goes out! There was no accumulation of ice or snow. The storm had hardly started. PGE said the power would be back on at 5pm. But at 5, they said 6, and at 6, it was 8.

When the temperature in Stripy’s tank dropped to 65 degrees, I had lifted him out and put him on my chest, zipped up a fleece vest over him, and put a fuzzy blanket around my shoulders.

My husband ventured out into the cold night to find a restaurant with power. He arrived home with salted peppered cod and garlic broccoli and kung pao shrimp from Powell Seafood, and the news that there were now 100,000 people without power in the greater Portland area.

At 8:03 our lights came on! Stripy was glad to get into his warm tank and eat some crickets. The humans were glad to catch up on what we had missed electronically in the past five hours.

Stripy poops biweekly, and does so in a predictable way – pretty much every time I put him in the bathtub; warm water brings it on for him like coffee does for me.

His poop in interesting. Part of it is white and rubbery, part of it loose and greenish brown.

At 2 in the morning my partner woke me. The power is off again, he says. PGE says the cause is under investigation and there is no estimated time for the power to return. In my Ambien induced slumber, I mumbled, “Please … bring me Stripy…”.

Stripy settled on my chest and closed his eyes. He clung to my nightie like a bur on a wool sweater, both of us covered with the duvet. Our dogs are not happy about Stripy joining us in the bed, and they move as close to my head as they can.

My partner kept checking on Stripy, to make sure he was staying on me, not straying into the sheets. But he needn’t worried. Why would this lizard leave the best heat source in the house -- a woman going through a menopausal transition?

Flanked by dogs, a lizard, and my partner who at this point in the pandemic has not just a beard, but a full wizard’s beard, we sleep. But not well. Our thermostat now says 54 degrees. I am worried about the crickets -- they are no longer chirping. but I am not going to snuggle them.

It is windy. My neighbor's roof is covered with snow and smoke is coming out of her chimney. Branches come down from the weight of ice. A car explodes and burns when a power line falls on it. All over Portland, people are lighting candles and caressing their reptiles, trying to keep them warm.

Stripy has two tanks – one at school, and one at home. His at-school tank is what I think of as his studio apartment; it’s furnished with a doll’s bed covered with a patchwork quilt, a hammock, a tiny ceramic toilet, and a small, hard copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. At home, he has a “desert” tank where I’ve built him tunnels and hillocks out of excavator sand.

In the summer, at the end of the day, he likes to join my family on the patio. We have cheese and crackers and glasses of chardonnay, and Stripy gets his own glass platter of mealworms. Yes, I know the mealworms are fatty and are supposed to be a treat, not a regular staple, which is why I’ve been trying to transition him to crickets. I want Stripy to chase crickets like how the beardie in the YouTube video chases blueberries, but he doesn’t.

I believe he doesn’t chase his food because he doesn’t have to.

He waits until a cricket crawls up on his hillock and then -- a quick snap nom nom nom -- he chomps on them. A drop of cricket juice spatters from his mouth.

But I know he still has his instincts, because I have watched him shoot across the patio to catch and eat a bee.

At school, the kids touch Stripy with one finger, and they know not to pet his head. Heads are personal spaces, and plus, that third eye! The first time I saw his third eye, I thought a child had drawn on him with marker.

When not roaming about the animal room, or sunning himself under a UV light, Stripy is carried in a woven sea grass basket filled with silks. He has castles built for him out of Magnatiles. The children pick fresh arugula for him from the garden and hand feed it to him. They sketch pictures of him that are pinned to the wall. The kids love him. They tell him this on a daily basis. They don’t imbue him with meaning, they just recognize him as sentient being.

The kids marvel at how his spikes look so sharp but are actually soft. They touch him and talk about his textures and colors, the orange rings encircling his eyes, his soft belly, his pointy tail. We watch his torso expand as he sighs, relaxing into his body.

What are those holes in the sides of his head?

What do you think they are?

Can he hear me? Why aren’t his ears on the outside like mine?

Will he lick me?

He might.

Why did he lick me!

He is tasting you. He’s finding out who you are.

This bearded dragon, does he know how to fly?

Not yet.

Well, his mommy needs to teach him!

I ask him questions in front of the kids … Stripy, do you want some dandelion greens? Oh, you do!  Oh, Stripy, I can see you don’t want to be held right now. You want to move across the floor on your own!

I regularly give animacy to inanimate objects, too.

What is he saying now, Teacher Nikki?

What do you think he is saying?

Caring for animals helps us to build compassion. I want the kids to know that the animals are communicating with us, we just have to listen.

Sometimes, on my way home from work when I stop at Trader Joes, Stripy tells me that he doesn’t want to be left alone in the car, so I set him on my shoulder and he lies very still (but is supremely alert and watches everything) as I walk around the frozen foods and the wine aisles. Kids always notice him and want to connect. The crew usually notice him, too, and greet him with a wink. My sister, who likes animals but doesn’t have any, when I tell her about my experiences in Trader Joes with Stripy, says “Oh, Nik-Nac, you’ve become one of those people.”

And yes, I guess I have, it’s true. I have become that lady with the bearded dragon.

No, we are not supposed to have a lizard in a preschool -- because of the salmonella risk. However, I believe that risk is an inherent and natural consequence of childhood. Our preschoolers take turns on a broken seesaw that was homemade to begin with. They build with crates and cardboard boxes we scavenge from the furniture store on the corner. There is sometimes a sprinkling of nails in our sandbox. We have earthquakes here, and floods, and ice-storms.  Our children breathe harmful air from wildfires. We have lockdown drills to prepare us for potential active shooters in our schools – a little salmonella isn’t going to shut things down for us!

In my more than 30 years of teaching with animals, I have probably exposed thousands of children to salmonella. It will be okay. For those of you who are still worried, let me tell you a little story.

I hosted a special COVID sleepover for some school-age kids recently (the kids were all from the same pod) and when it was discovered that one child had forgotten to bring a tooth brush, I said, “that’s okay, just borrow someone’s toothpaste and brush with your finger.” I mimed a demonstration and all the kids made faces of disgust. “I would never brush my teeth with my finger,” I heard. “I put my fingers in my butt too much!”

We do wash our hands as often as possible.

[hereyougopeanutbutter]

Winners

Winners

 Pony stays in the other section of the building. She said it was a different Panda division but when I asked her what it looked like she texted back ‘worktables with beds, there are about 24 others and no one talks’

The same as in my section. There are 20 of us. And about 50 writing tables. I’m in the front on the left, close to the door. The walls are covered with brown wooden panels dating back to the previous century I believe, in the corner long rectangle speakers and on the front wall two ShunSha LED screens which tell us the weather and switch to the Panda statement, our commitment to Panda and the recognition we will get if we get through. I turn my eyes away. I better focus on what I need to do.

In the morning, they serve breakfast on the side of the room, on large tables. White and brown bread with marmalade, peanut butter, and chocolate sprinkles with butter on shelves. Slices of cheese and bacon in plastic containers. Same at noon. For supper, big pans of stew are rolled in, with whitebread and spoons.

We are not allowed to go to the sleeping section after 8.30 am. In the evenings, everybody crashes on their beds, grabs their cell phones, some bottles of alcohol or other drinks, some smoke cigarettes from the windows in the toilets. I don’t pay attention to them, most of the time I’m in bed right after  8 pm.

 In the morning I eat my sandwich, I like the marmalade and I eat a sandwich while I prepare a peanut butter and gelly one for while I’m working. It’s not allowed but they let me. I also keep my phone with me while working.

“Reached 40,000” Pony texted, “revision going well?”

“Edited up to six chapters, think I’m going to make it.”

“Good. Good. Think of you, go go go Pigtails, love you”

“Need help?”

But Ponytail doesn’t answer. 40,000 words and only 3 more weeks to go.

   In the morning the fear that filled my heart the evening before comes up almost instantly when I wake up. I dreamt about her, how we were swimming in the roaring waters of the Mississippi. “M-I-S-S-I-S-S-P-P-I,” she said as water gulped in her mouth. “Pony, you need to swim, cut the crap” I shouted. “M-I-S-S…” but she didn’t get any further, the part of the river was loud and I had a hard time pulling her up above the water and keeping alive myself.

My little sister, Justine, the tiny baby born when I was four. Her body frame stayed small and frail. When she was young she started calling me Pigtails instead of Amanda. I liked pigtails in my hair. Tamara became Pinky, Tamara loved her pink leggings. She asked Justine how we should call her and Justine fluttered the peaking hair on her head. Mom had tried to created ponytails on either side of her head. “Ponytails!” And from that moment on we were there, ponytails, pigtails and pinky, later Pony, Pig and Pinky.  

“You’ll get it done?” I text. The ward comes in slamming the bell and just to avoid the noise everybody walks to their working tables to start up their word processors, ugly old Dynamics. Mine hums during the day, I listen to it as the clicking of my keys moves along.

“Get started sunshines, poop out the books and go for the million!” the ward shouted as loud as he could over the bell. “People are anxious for your books, com’on, we’re halfway there, three more weeks!”

My phone buzzes “I might”.

 On the wall the screen turns on, bright white, two of them showing one image, the table with the chair, cut in half by the black plastic borders of the SunShu. But we know. Fear sets in the group, we all look around and count. We are still with 20. It must be from the other group. I look at my phone but the ward is still close and he might see me. My fingers slowly tick on the screen ‘y-o-u 0-k-a-y?’ and press send. Pony sends back a ‘y’

The Panda declaration about how we signed up for writing the next bestseller comes up. How we committed to a good sellable story and how the first draft was due in 6 weeks with at least 100,000 words. Panda would help us. Panda guarantees sales of 50,000 copies to all Panda members around the world and oh just so you know Panda has 31,000 active daily accounts. Daily

“We will change your life” it then said. One sentence. “And you agreed we could have it if you fail”

 I don’t recognize the person. She fights the two men who hold her upper arms, we hear ‘No, no!’ but the men guide her to a table where her head is pushed down on the table. A third person behind the chair walks up and pushes the muzzle again the back of her neck. I close my eyes and try not to hear the echoing bang.

 My editing work goes in trembling episodes that day. The killings. The killing is a condition. Panda’s idea of motivating. I think of my mother. I think of Pinkytail and Ponytail, Pinky who went into options trading, and Pony who said she could write a winning Panda book but said last week she was struggling, I can’t worry about her because I need to get my book done.

 This is my second run. I got through the first run and went home. They all hugged me. The money, Panda’s money was in my bank account already, 99,000 dollars. Pinky hugged me and we both cried. We didn’t tell Pony but let her tag along when we picked up mom’s wheelchair, the three of us in the truck, singing and laughing. Pony cried when I paid for the wheelchair in the store, asking ‘where did you get the money, where did you get it?’ and I said I finished a Panda session. Pony burst out in crying. Couldn’t stop. Even in the car home she kept saying ‘That’s where you were, I was wondering what happened. You could have been killed Pigs, don’t ever do that again!” But I hugged her and we both cried. We bought cranberries at the farm store and we ate ice cream on the bench, we overlooked the land and the sun shone, we looked at each other and there was nothing more than love and gratitude. They didn’t know I had already signed up to go back. The edited version – once approved by Panda – would pay me $499,999.-.

Enough to buy mom and all of us a new future. We could move.

 The next day, I wake up refreshed. I am not sure what has caused this but I decide to take the sweep of energy and get to work at my desk. The others complain and wipe their eyes, two of them pout about not hitting their targets but I block it out. Two double sandwiches, one with cheese and bacon, the other a peanut butter and gelly sit on my desk. I work through two chapters stringently blocking out the ward with the bell, blocking out my hunger and my tea getting cold. I read the words and weigh them in my head, re-create sentences and my muse works in the background, it’s just him and me. When I take a sip of my tea I notice it’s cold. I take a bite of my sandwich, afraid I will lose the zone I’m in if I eat more. I write like I did when I was younger, pumping out words that came to mind, the movie continued endlessly and went as fast as my fingers could keep up. For my mom. My mom, I see her at her sewing machine, winding a bobbin and working on my favorite blouse.

Before lunch I have 8 chapters done. They bring in the lunch, the bread, the bacon, and the cheese. I ate my breakfast about an hour ago but I’m hungry again.

“They brought me in,” Pony’s text says.

My hands tremble. Pony got her warning. “How far are you?”

“40k”

I look at my phone. She was at 40k yesterday, she was supposed to be at at least 50,000 words.

“You said you could do it”

“I’m scared Pigs”

Fear fills my gut. I panic. They read her work last night, they always do. Based on their algorithms they have determined Pony is in the danger zone and she needs to make up at least 50%. There is one next warning. I think of Pinky and the story I was writing on at home.

 I looked to the others in my room. Some are comfortable. With headphones in and others biting their nails as they write, some panic, some pound out the words. I text Pony but she doesn’t answer back.

 I eat lunch. My brain is on overdrive. I walk around the room, it’s air-conditioned but the weather outside is warm. Then Pinky texts me. I cannot look at my phone at the lunch table when the staff is there so I need to get to my desk. I chew quickly and glob down some tea. I try to make it look casual as I walk to my desk and start to type a document so it seems I’m back to work.

Pinky says: “I sent you the story, does Pony know how to decrypt? If they find out…” I see the paperclip friendly blinking in a corner. I only have to resend it to Pony. But then the door opens and Simone steps in, she looks at me with an iron smile saying ‘Come with me please’. I freeze. The others are silent and I don’t know what’s wrong. I go into the office where I signed my contract with Panda, I remember sitting here, the pen on a chain is still there.

“We are following your progress, Amanda. You are doing very well and we wondering if you’d be done by next week at this pace?”

I look up to Simone. There must have been a beautiful woman at one point I guess. Now she turned older. And less caring.

“Don’t I have 2 more weeks?”

“You do, you do. But we can get in print quicker if you want”, Amanda twists her pencil, “there could be a bonus.”

I’m silent.

“You’ll get 50,000 more”

I overthink the situation. Suddenly I don’t care about the money anymore and grab all my courage “How much does it cost me to get Pony out?”

“And your work is done?”

Is she going to say they’d take my book and we both walk? I would agree. But no matter how hard it is to stay quiet, I say nothing.

Simone doesn’t need to talk this over, she makes the decisions herself. I wonder if she is maybe the manager of Panda Books herself. She says, “Finish her story as well?”

I do the math. Two weeks and some days to finish the story. They read Pony’s story so I have to go with that, I can’t change it. I think.

Panda publishes the “Dead Man’s Anthology”, the stories from the killed authors. Unfinished stories. It sells like crazy, sometimes better than the books of the winners. Panda is in for the money. The killing is a marketing tool for them. They are the only ones with a license from the government on the condition that Panda pays the family of the writers 30%.

If I can’t produce 30,000 words per week I’ll die. With Pony. While we came here to save our mother. Get a better life. If we were to stay over the weekend I’d have to finish my book and write another 5000 words on Pony’s story. My answer not only determines the rest of my life. Pony’s as well.  And the rest of the family.

Then Simone looks up. “It looks like you don’t have to decide Amanda, your sister has committed to finishing the story, I just got the message.”

“Committed?”

“She is at work right now and their ward says she’s doing good.”

I leave. Get back to my desk, the others look at me. I was never aware Pony was there until she texted me on the first day, four weeks ago. I was shocked. She said she had hoped she would in my group but Panda put her in the other group. Panda made publishers aware that they had two of the Peterson sisters writing stories and there were betting games on who would sell the best books. But Pony wasn’t a writer. Pinky read hers once and said it was fluff. She wouldn’t survive Panda’s One Million Dollar Writing Camp. But on the first day already had 30 million viewers per day. Sales skyrocketed. Said Pinky.

 ‘Why are you here?” I asked

“I want to help you. Do what you do”

“You’ll get yourself killed”

“You didn’t get killed.”

And I almost wanted to write ‘I can write’ but I didn’t. I didn’t sleep that first night. My sister Ponytails was here too, I tried not to get sick but it cost me 2 days to stop thinking about Pony.

 Pony didn’t answer my texts after my meeting with Simone. I finished my book four days early and Pinky kept me in the loop about the contest on the outside. Bidding was way up in my favor.

 I make the last revisions to my story. The bright white screen comes on every day but I ignore it. I push the ear-thing inside my ear every time so I can block it out. I block out the ward in the morning as I revise my story.

Pinky tells me Pony and I are tied. I block that out as well, this is madness, I will never sign up for a Panda writing if we make it out alive.

On the last day, the screen comes on but now it’s black.

We look at each other, 17 left from our group.

From the screen in high definition I can hear Pony ‘I couldn’t make it. Go Pigtails, go’ and the click is silent but deafening. I scream, I cry, They killed Pony? They killed my sister! We were tied!

 My book sells well.

Pony’s sells better. It was the only one sold as a separate book. Pony’s share floats into our bank account.

Panda’s show brings in millions.

My family moves. We do get a better house, and my mother gets better. We bury Pony, Pony gave us a better life. Pony outsmarted us all.  

[beardycarrot]

Axolotl update: one week in!

When I first got it, my baby axolotl was pretty dang pale. I didn’t realize at the time since I had no basis for comparison, but it seems being cooped up in a little deli container in a pet shop was pretty stressful. I feel bad for bettas whose owners take them home and put them in vases not much bigger than this.

It did start to recover once it was in a proper tank, with space to move around and cool, filtered water... but since I hadn’t known for sure whether I would actually be getting an axolotl that day, I hadn’t bought a hide or anything.

Temporary measures are better than nothing, right? As for food, given how absolutely tiny this axolotl (axolitl?) is, big home-grown nightcrawlers are out of the question. Even cutting a bit off of one, it would be like taking a six-foot party sub, cleaving off a few inches, and asking someone to swallow it whole. I was going to need to find some smaller worms.

...I mean, if it were me, I know what kind I would want. Garlic earthworms? Since when do fish have it so good? I ultimately ended up buying a tub of baby nightcrawlers (which were still about half the length of the axolotl’s body) and some tiny bloodworms frozen into little cubes.

After a few days, I’d obtained a proper hide (using a rotary tool to grind away a few sharp unfinished edges on the inside), and the axolotl’s color was a lot better. You’re able to see its digestive tract because of how small and light-colored it is, and bloodworms apparently just... look like that, inside of axolotls.

At this point I hadn’t yet tried feeding it a piece of earthworm, since it wasn’t eating much at first, and I wanted to get through the entire cube of bloodworms I’d thawed. I was worried about it hurting its face on the tweezers I was using, since the bloodworms are so small, so instead of feeding it directly I just dropped some bloodworms near the axolotl and let it sniff them out. As you can see, some drifted behind the hide, and I was forced to pull it away from the walls. Note to self: get a reptile dish to put the bloodworms in.

Even a tiny segment of a tiny earthworm is a bit much for this tiny axolotl. Well, at least I know I can feed it these without worrying about a mess. My next concern was putting some kind of substrate on the bottom of the tank. This is apparently a tricky issue for a lot of axolotl owners; gravel is no good because the way axolotls suck up food can lead to them ingesting it, and while the same is true of sand, they can at least safely pass it most of the time.

Neither is ideal, however, as the amount of waste axolotls produce can make cleaning gravel or sand difficult. Most people who choose a substrate go with sand, but that’s not currently an option for me, as my ‘lotl is so small that swallowing even sand could be an issue. The alternative is leaving the bottom of the tank bare, but the smooth glass prevents the axolotl from gaining purchase, which can stress them out.

I’ve yet to see anyone suggest this while researching the subject, but in my mind the ideal substrate for an axolotl would be something with a rough enough texture that they can crawl along it, but is impermeable enough that nasty stuff won’t build up inside. Something in one solid piece so that the axolotl won’t ingest it, while looking like a natural bottom for a watery environment. Something... that is a single piece of natural slate exactly the size of the bottom of my aquarium. Too bad that’s not a thing you can just buy, eh?

OH WAIT YES IT IS BECAUSE I DID JUST THAT.

After spending ages browsing Amazon and home improvement stores for slate tiles that would fit my needs, I eventually found BlankSlateCrafts on Etsy, who sells home goods made of slate... as well as big pieces of unfinished natural slate, which just so happen to be 10″x20″, the same size as your standard ten gallon aquarium! It needed to be trimmed a bit, since the interior dimensions of the tank are a bit smaller, but this was an incredibly lucky find. Since I’d told him that I would be experimenting with cutting the slate, and that he could just send me a discolored piece if he had any (hey, discoloration is natural, I’m not a suburban mom making it into a fancy cheese board), he decided to send me two slates for the price of one! Sweet guy.

Finally, I decided to pick up a few aquatic plants. Some people don’t bother with plants, but they can really help to reduce the nitrates (converted from the nitrites (converted from the ammonia (converted from the axolotl poop))) in the water. Since axolotls don’t like a lot of light, I went with plants that also thrive in low light: java fern, hornwort, and a marimo. The hornwort is mostly there to sit at the output of the filter and reduce the amount it disturbs the water, but it should also help to keep the water clean.

So, all together, what does the tank look like now?

Bam! Seeing the wall and power cords through the back kinda makes me want to get one of those scenery backings for the tank, but other than that, I’m really happy with how it all came together! I guess we’ll see how it works out on a practical level, but the slate at the very least LOOKS great, and my little axolotl seems to be exploring a lot more than before. Whether it’s due to being able to walk instead of swimming everywhere or because there are actually points of interest in the tank now is unknown, but...

Well, what do you think, Kirby?

...Okay, I’m not 100% sold on the name Kirby yet, but it’s growing on me. Tiny, pink, consumes everything like a vacuum? I’m also considering Woobeewoo, Crona, Quality Woop, and a few other things... so the Untitled Axolotl Project remains, for the time being, a work in progress.

“The Creation of A Lotl” - The Artsy Axolotl, March 2020

[pantryegypt88]

Life Style Sports.

30 Minutes Of Daily Exercise Sufficient To Shed Pounds.

Content

Group Exercise.

Important Training Variables.

Pilates Vs Yoga: The Distinctions As Well As What'S Right For You.

Just How Do I Produce My Very Own Workout Plan?

Slope Strolling Vs Running.

Decreasing your consumption of added sugar is a fantastic way to enhance your diet regimen. By doing this, you remove the substantial majority of added sugar, added fat as well as processed food.

If you would love to know the specific number, work with a personal trainer. They can establish your individual calorie burn throughout a workout. However if running isn't your point, there are various other calorie-burning workouts like HIIT workouts, leaping rope, as well as swimming. You can do any kind of mix of these workouts according to your preferences as well as health and fitness level.

When it pertains to fat burning, protein is the king of nutrients. There are great deals of advantages with a rowing device, or ergometer.

Added sugar is probably the most awful point in the contemporary diet regimen. Excess quantities have been connected to a few of one of the most serious conditions on the planet today.

" That first night, you go to sleep, you sleep your 8 hrs, you are down two extra pounds," she stated. " If you remain to get enough rest every evening, you won't get those hunger pangs. The cravings pangs come from lack of sleep, which induces the hunger hormonal agent to obtain produced from your digestive tract." If we just shed a little of weight when we poop, why do we feel a lot slimmer ultimately pooping after being constipated or after a big meal? It additionally decreases the anxiety levels to end the more than production of the hormones, Cortisol and also Leptin, and makes the belly firm as well as sculpted. Right here are 15 "health foods" that are really just fast food in camouflage.

Group Exercise.

This can aid ramp up weight loss quickly when incorporated with other methods. Teriyaki sauce, sour lotion, peanut butter and maple syrup are a few various other popular sauces and condiments that can create the calories to stack up fast. As an example, a solitary tablespoon of mayo can have upwards of 90 calories, while cattle ranch clothing cram in a tremendous 73 calories per one-tablespoon (15-gram) serving.

One tbsp of apple cider vinegar has regarding three calories and also practically no carbohydrates. Keep in mind, when it pertains to weight-loss, slow and also constant really does win the race. The largest effort you'll make on the diet may be quiting on your own from reaching for more food.

You need to consider your details demands as well as goals prior to working with a personal trainer.

Concentrating on your yearly wage rather than each paycheck is a way to maintain things in perspective.

So how can you obtain your Level 3 Personal Training qualification?

Understandably, January is among the busiest months as individuals are seeking to lastly reach their health and fitness goals in the New Year.

Many master trainers are furnished to develop dish plans and customized health and fitness plans.

A personal trainer's effectiveness is based upon their capability to show just how proactively they support your objectives.

Crucial Educating Variables.

Make note of the obstacles you are facing when it comes to losing weight as well as be honest with on your own. Is your task, pals, time, cash, tension, etc. holding you back from achieving success? Knowing your weak points and making a list of the difficulties you will certainly require to leap, will certainly aid prepare you for these challenges as they occur. As your level of fitness boosts, you can begin to include more high strength training and also weight training to raise outcomes. We have actually produced the Ultimate Guide to get you started - Just how to Drop weight.

Pilates Vs Yoga Exercise: The Differences As Well As What'S Right For You.

Utilizing one can help you develop endurance, strengthen your body, and also improve heart health. If you would love to begin an exercise routine, see your medical professional. You can also speak with a personal trainer or physiotherapist for individualized guidance. These professionals can aid you exercise securely as well as properly.

Just How Do I Create My Own Exercise Strategy?

Incline Walking Vs Running.

High-calorie coffee drinks are really no far better than soft drink. Fitness Training UK packed with vacant calories that can equal an entire meal. If you wish to delight in a piece of pizza, attempt making one at home utilizing healthier components.

Take a while to think of why you are aiming to make this modification. We have actually all heard our seniors encouraging us to eat home-cooked food. Water has a really crucial duty in helping eliminate toxic substances from the body. You ought to shed 1-2kgs a week, relying on your starting weight. This compares to the standard of kJ for a 70kg Australian woman.

This water-soluble, all-natural dietary fiber comes from the roots of the konjac plant, additionally known as the elephant yam. Thankfully, individuals are realizing that coffee is a healthy beverage that is loaded with antioxidants and various other beneficial compounds. There is really truth to the case that drinking water can aid with weight loss.

Another big review of 17 research studies in over 500,000 people located that those who consumed one of the most veggies had a 17% reduced danger of being overweight or obese. Periodic fasting involves biking in between durations of eating and also fasting, with fasts generally lasting 16-- 24 hr. Recording your consumption with an app or food journal is an excellent way to get started. For ideal outcomes, swap out improved carbohydrates like white bread, breakfast cereals and heavily refined pre-packaged foods for whole-grain products like quinoa, oats, brown rice as well as barley. It's particularly valuable to decrease your consumption of polished carbohydrates, which are a type of carbohydrate removed of their nutrient and also fiber content during handling.

Home made pizza sauce is also healthier, given that grocery store selections can include great deals of sugar. They're extremely high in calories and often contain unhealthy active ingredients like very improved flour and also refined meat. Additionally, offer on your own a small portion as well as placed the gelato away so that you will not end up eating too much.

They will certainly additionally discuss any safety measures you should take. Talk with a doctor, personal trainer, or physical therapist. These experts can show just how to securely do calorie-burning exercises. They can likewise suggest other modifications and also steps for your objectives.

Just sure you adhere to the regulations, consume 2 treats from the snack listing per day as well as stay with the part sizes. Since, when it involves reducing weight, similar to whatever in life, we require to a bit of motivation to accomplish our objectives. Luckily, Elle Macpherson's instructor James Duigan has come on board to shares his top suggestions, including his Lose 5kg in 2 weeks diet plan. This resistance training session doesn't require to be excessive.

Sugar-sweetened beverages, like soda, are one of the unhealthiest foods on the planet. While losing 10 pounds in a month might feel like a lofty objective, it's entirely possible by making some easy modifications to your diet regimen as well as way of life.

Before beginning a brand-new workout strategy, talk with your doctor first. Your physician can suggest the most effective sort of workout for your existing fitness degree.

Beer can trigger weight gain, but drinking red wine in small amounts might in fact be beneficial. However, the evidence for alcohol as well as weight gain is unclear. An average-sized sweet bar covered in chocolate can consist of about 200-- 300 calories, and extra-large bars may have much more. Luckily, there are numerous healthy alternatives to conventional wheat bread. One is Ezekiel bread, which is possibly the healthiest bread on the market.

Strolling, running, ideas , biking and swimming are simply a couple of types of cardio that can increase fat burning fast. It is essential to blend it with water, as undiluted vinegar might shed the inside of your mouth as well as esophagus. The placebo team really obtained 0.9 lbs (0.4 kgs), and their waist area somewhat boosted. In this 12-week study, 144 overweight Japanese grownups eaten either 1 tbsp of vinegar, 2 tablespoons of vinegar or a sugar pill beverage everyday.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Thirty: The Dark Half

“Stark reached out, not physically, but with his mind, and seized that disappearing tail of Thad’s mental probe. In the eye of Stark’s own mind it looked like a worm, a fat white maggot deliriously stuffed with offal and decay...”

So, let me tell you about the dark half inhabiting my house... a little over a year ago, we decided to get Waverly, our beautiful golden rescue pet angel, a friend. She loved spending time with her dog cousins, and would sink into a deep depression when we’d bring her back home again. Seriously. Look at this beautiful face. She is truly an angel in dog form.

So, we found a rescue beagle (my daughter’s alleged dream dog of the week). 

Y’all.

I was not prepared for beagle life. Biscuit Beast tore through two different cages, pooped (and smeared it!) everywhere, and chewed up everything from Legos, to Ugg boots to video game controllers. And the sight of a pom-pom on a hat makes her crazy with uncontrolled chewing fueled rage. She was an absolute menace. We tried everything from melatonin, to CBD oil, to just flat-out not leaving the house. She is a lovely, cuddly dog... but her mouth gets her in trouble every time. 

And then quarantine happened. Biscuit Beast has been thrilled to have her people home with her 24/7 all day, every day. Lots of cuddles, walks around the neighborhood, and all the personal interaction a beagle could ask for. We even left on two short jaunts, and she didn’t chew anything. She received all the praise for being the best dog in the world.

And then yesterday, I walk upstairs to find this. She gnawed my copy of The Dark Half like it was a t-bone. And it made no sense. We had been home with her all day, she had a long walk around the lake, and plenty of attention. But her dark half just can’t be tamed. Oh, Biscuit Beast. To know beagles is to love them. 

Biscuit Beast may destroy everything she can wrap her strong little jaw around, but at least she’s not violently killing people, and threatening lives everywhere she goes, unlike George Stark in The Dark Half. I guess I’ve got that going for me?

The Dark Half was fun. It was my first time reading it, and you could almost hear Steve whispering, “Wouldn’t it be funny if Richard Bachman came to life and became my murderous alter-ego?” The author’s note actually reads, “I’m indebted to the late Richard Bachman for his help and inspiration. This novel could not have been written without him.” 

It makes you wonder what the relationship between an author and his pseudonym is like. Is it dark? Does it take you in directions you don’t expect? Do you end up resenting the pseudonym for contractually forcing you to write books outside your comfort zone? Steve had created an entire biography for Bachman, and seemed almost gleeful about killing him; not unlike Thad Beaumont, the main character in The Dark Half. 

The book opens with child Thad, who is suffering from horrible headaches and seizures. He goes in for surgery, and the neurologist finds remains of a fetus in Thad’s head: an eye, part of a nostril, three fingernails and two teeth. *Shudder*

Thad grows up to become a relatively famous writer, and we find him reading a People magazine article discussing how he “killed” his pseudonym, George Stark. The article even includes a picture of Thad and his wife, Liz, standing on Stark’s grave. His gravestone reads, “Not a Very Nice Guy”. Thad seems equally amused and embarrassed by the article; and quickly brushes it to the side in order to help his wife care for their adorable twins, Wendy and William. 

Then, shit gets weird. The police show up on Thad’s doorstep, ready to arrest him for a brutal, local murder they’re confident he committed. After all, his fingerprints are all over the crime scene. There’s only one small problem: Thad has an iron-clad alibi for the night of the murder, with witnesses galore attesting to his presence. 

The police are thrown. 

Meanwhile, several more brutal murders are committed in New York City, including a young man who had figured out the Thad/George connection, and was attempting to blackmail him. Written in blood on his wall is the phrase, “The Sparrows are Flying Again”. The other murder victims are all people who were associated with the People magazine article. Very strange. 

But Thad is starting to put some pieces together. In his office, he also finds the words, “The Sparrows are Flying Again” randomly scratched on a piece of paper. It reminds him of when he was a kid, and the sounds of birdsong would precede one of his bad headaches. He has his suspicions about who the real murderer is. He makes the logical jump that it has to be his pseudonym, George Stark. Because, who else would it be?

Spoiler: It’s George Stark! 

George calls him from one of the murder scenes to gloat, and basically tells Thad he’s not ready to be dead yet. And Thad needs to get started on his next Stark novel. George doesn’t have a lot of time left... his body is starting to deteriorate into a gross mess, and unless Thad starts writing, George is going to (literally) waste away. 

So, George ends up kidnapping Liz and the kids, and takes them to their Maine cottage, where he holds them hostage until Thad starts working on his next novel. Thad starts writing, which causes George to heal, and Thad to take on George’s ailments. There’s some negative, co-dependent symbiosis going on here. Eventually, Thad stops writing, and summons billions of sparrows to bust in the house and peck George to death, before carrying him off to the depths of hell. 

Why sparrows? Well, because they’re psychopomps of course! For those not versed in ancient Greek, psychopomp means, “guide of souls.” According to Thad’s fellow professor, Rawlie DeLesseps, “...those who conduct. In this case, those who conduct human souls back and forth between the land of the living and the land of the dead... Gatherings of sparrows are rather more ominous... sparrows are said to be the outriders of the deceased... which means their job is to guide lost souls back into the land of the living. They are, in other words, the harbingers of the living dead...” 

 Y’all... there is so much going on here. Is George a metaphor for Steve’s drug addiction? Think about it... the more it took over, the sicker Steve got. And it kept him from doing the kind of writing he always wanted to do (novels like this, compared to dung-heaps like The Tommyknockers). Once his addiction was banished and dragged back to hell, he was reunited with his family and kids. Maybe a little bit of a stretch, but thought provoking. 

I really liked this novel; it was tightly edited and well written, it kept my attention and it gave me a glimpse into Steve’s crazy brain. And it had some fun Castle Rock mentions... like that time George Bannerman helped solve that string of nasty murders (The Dead Zone), only to be taken out by a rabid dog (Cujo). Rest in peace, George. 

No Dark Tower or Wisconsin mentions, just good, clean, Steve fun. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 24

Total Dark Tower References: 22

Book Grade: B+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Next up is Four Past Midnight, another collection I’ve thumbed through. Four Past Midnight contains classics like The Langoliers and Secret Window, Secret Garden; which was an excellent movie. When I started reading The Dark Half, my husband told me what a great movie it was. I asked him for the plot, to see if it was similar to the book, or a Lawnmower Man type situation. He then proceeded to give me the entire plot of The Secret Window. And tried to convince me they were basically the same story. I’m going to reserve judgement. So, stay tuned for that. I hope everyone is staying healthy, washing hands and wearing masks. 

Until next time, Long Days and Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[brownstonearmy]

2020-03-06: The Money Pit

July 9 (Thursday evening)

After the attempted looting earlier in the day, something needs to be done to protect all the gold that doesn't fit in SHART's building. Lucky is watching over the pile of gold that's stuck outside, but all that money definitely needs to be relocated to a more secure location for long-term storage. But since it's evening time and all the banks are closed, Tyrik suggests that Norm and Q/Sparkle move the excess money into one of the emergency safe rooms located in the sewers. The safe rooms are protected by a wall of force enchantment that keeps out anyone who doesn't have a special passkey, and there's the fact that wandering through the sewers is generally pretty inconvenient, so that's another plus. Norm and Sparkle agree to the this plan, so Tyrik gives each of them a chest filled with 2,000 GP and sends the duo on their way.

Sparkle and Norm hoist the treasure chests down the nearest manhole and descend into the sewers. But the commotion of their entry attracts the interest of a mysterious stranger lurking in the darkness. She steps out of the shadows and introduces herself as Spleenifer Colognaise. She is a godly woman of Lathander whose proselytizing even includes the lowliest vermin of the world. Everything seems legit, so naturally, an adventuring party forms. Spleenifer is also strong and very tall, and when she sees Norm lugging about that heavy chest, she offers to help him with it and hoists it in the air. Norm keeps his grip on the money, but his feet are dangling in the air. He'd feel more comfortable holding the chest alone, and Spleenifer lets him down.

To the west of the entryway, there's a mud-covered passageway that appears to have the corpse of some poor soul lying face down in the middle of the floor. Norm goes to investigate the body, but steps on something in the mud. That something turns out to be a sleeping swarm of Mud Mephits, and they aren't too happy about being awoken. Norm slashes out at one of them with his dagger, but there's too much going on around him to make contact. Some of the mephits get their claws and teeth into Norm, but Sparkle blasts a hypnotic pattern at the swarm that incapacitates most of the enemies.

Spleenifer charges into to combat with her quarterstaff and smacks one of them. "You foul idolator!" she screams as the mephit explodes in a blast of viscous mud. Norm and Q slash and bonk most of the mephits into submission, but Spleenifer gets hit with a blast of mud and restrained. Norm helps her escape long enough to bash another mephit, but ends up frozen in place by the viscous mud again. Sparkle encounters the same fate, and Norm does his best to hold off the rest of the mephits as they awaken from their hypnotic stupor. A particularly gory shot from Norm's bow causes the surviving mephits to flee deeper into the sewers.

Once the situation is safe, Norm searches the body. It is unclear exactly how long the body has been there, but there is something unusual about the corpse: someone has carved the words "DON'T STEAL!" into the body's stomach, along with a smiling face with too many teeth. The body doesn't appear to have died from carving the words into the flesh. Who could have done such a thing, and for what purpose?

Norm also finds a note scrawled in the pocket of the corpse's trousers containing a sketch of the symbol that the party has seen a few times before and some sort of list. Here's what it says:

Wants to summon Norozogaan... Needs the following: 1. Norozogaan's Ring 2. God spark 3. Lennipur's Basin 4. The Portal 5.

Spleenifer performs her own investigation of the corpse's hindquarters and collects a small tithe from the corpse that she slams between the pages of her holy text. And by tithe, I mean poop. Who are we to judge matters of faith in this game?

Spleenifer marches down another hallway and notices two show-quality goats chained to the wall of the sewer. Norm and Sparkle lag behind and briefly reconsider their budding friendship with Spleenifer. As Spleenifer approaches the goats, she hears muttering and bickering from around a darkened corner. Clearly these fancy goats do not belong in the sewer! She calms the goats down and yanks the chains out of the wall with her righteous might, which is loud enough to attract the notice of whatever was around the corner.

A ratperson in tattered clothing wanders out and demands to know why his goats are being stolen. But one sniff of the deliciously-scented air coming off of Spleenifer's holy causes the ratperson to see this as an opportunity to bargain for some... romantic companionship. He introduces himself as Trashpit, the most powerful and handsome of the ratpeople. He takes Spleenifer on a tour of his squalid chambers, who is overcome with religious ferver at the chance to proselytize to such a stinky and lowly creature. Trashpit beckons Spleenifer to join him in his bedchambers (which is really just a pile of rags on the floor), but Spleenifer needs to freshen up first (or unfreshen, as the case may be).

Trashpit screams at his roommates to leave, and sets a chunk of luminous fungus in a bowl to set the mood for romance. We'll get back to this situation in a moment, but first we need to check in with Sparkle and Norm. Their experience working in the sewers has granted them the knowledge of the nearest safe room, which is somewhere to the southwest. The pair sneak past the entrance to the ratperson warren and witness Spleenifer giving a massage to Trashpit. Eye contact is avoided and the Norm and Sparkle press on toward the safe room without acknowledging the unfolding situation with Spleenifer.

Using their keypasses, Norm and Sparkle deactivate the wall of force that prevents access to the safe room and place their chests of treasure down. But there is a second entrance to the safe room on the opposite wall and there is a crude altar overlooking the entrance. A collection of ratfolk are watching Sparkle and Norm with joy in their hearts. The ratfolk cheer that the god of the underground has chosen someone worthy to enter the transitional area to the land of plenty.

Sparkle and Norm are confused, because there is isn't a gateway to any known promised land in this room. It's just a regular room protected by a wall of force. But the two eventually piece together that the rats can't get in to actually see what's in the room, so the ratfolk have made a cargo cult religion around this mysterious area. Sparkle doesn't want to completely destroy an entire religion with an offhanded remark, so Norm suggests that they take some of the emergency food from the safe room and go the long way around to deliver it to the ratfolk on the other side. That way, the mystery of the safe room is still intact!

Back in Trashpit's bedchamber, a halfing woman and a human male accidentally interrupt the sensual (for Trashpit, at least) massage. The pair had come to deliver a message, but avert their eyes and quickly excuse themselves to deliver their message to the less-indisposed ratfolk roommates. Spleenifer collects her odorous tithe from Trashpit, but she derives no joy from this ritual as she is a woman of great faith. Trashpit, on the other hand, is completely smitten. In addition to the fancy goats he stole, he also offers Spleenifer his favorite rock, which can somehow track time and change shape when you scream the magic word "GARGEN!" at it.

Norm and Sparkle make it to the other ratfolk, and are celebrated as heroes for bringing the ratfolk food from the promised land of abundance. But soon the mysterious human and halfling from earlier show up. The man chastises Sparkle and Norm for not staying out of their business, but notes that Sparkle and Norm might be useful for their coming plans. If someone from SHART would be so kind as to give them access to the staff-only section of the building, they would receive a hefty "finder's fee" for their trouble. Norm and Sparkle aren't interested, so the mysterious pair extend the same offer to the ratfolk, who gladly accept. The mysterious pair will return in two days' time to collect what has been promised. They walk back into the shadows and disappear down a dark hallway.

Sparkle and Norm leave to go check on Spleenifer. She's doing just fine, having just received all of Trashpit's material wealth. But everyone is properly clothed and no one except Trashpit acknowledges what just happened in this room.

"Please come back and visit me, tall person with nice hair," he pleads as the trio head back to the surface.

Back at SHART, Tyrik relieves Lucky of treasure guard duty and gives everyone present some loose coins as payment for their services, on the condition that they don't tell Dave about the payment. It's considerably more than their normal daily wages, so everyone agrees to keep things hush-hush.

Stay tuned next time for more!