#how does it feel eren? to be become the very thing you swore to destroy

[anjasitdown]

screaming crying throwing up what are you doing eren? wtf are you on?? do i even wanna know why you're doing all This???

[kyojuuros]

Hi! With Levi being in bad shape, what do you think is gonna happen to his character in the future if he survives? I keep fearing he doesnt have a lot to offer to the story. I used to think there was some potential but recent talk about it are making me doubt..

Hey there! I’ve seen a lot of posts arguing one way or the other about Levi’s general usefulness to the story or what his character can do from here on out, so I probably know some of the ones you are talking about. Rather than come down on anyone else’s interpretation of the narrative and Levi’s character, let me just explain how I see it. 

When trying to analyze and figure out what a character has left to offer to the story, I think it’s good to consider: 

Has the character’s arc been completed?

Does the character still have unfinished business?

Is there anything left that the character can offer to other core characters?

What have the character’s actions up until now contributed to the story’s overall themes?

How would the story benefit from the character being eliminated? How would it be hurt?

I’m personally not too keen on entertaining the notion that Levi will be announced dead or dying in the coming chapters. With a scar that characteristic and intentional, as well as missing fingers, it is clear to me that Levi is meant to carry on with the new design and handicap. To serve as both a lesson and a reminder, whether that be for Levi only or to also touch on some development for the other characters. 

I’d made a messy and emotionally driven post when spoilers about him “dying” leaked in my heated rage about all the reasons why killing Levi off here and in such a manner wouldn’t be good writing (imo). I still agree with all of those points and am relieved I won’t have to sit on those fumes for the remainder of the story. He still has things to do and people to impact. 

So to touch on my points above… 

Has Levi’s arc been completed?

Absolutely not. While Levi is an adult character who’s traits are more or less set in stone upon his introduction, that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a story to be told and lessons to be learned. We are all always growing and changing regardless of our core personality traits. 

Levi’s biggest character flaw is his tendency to react with violence in situations that are beyond his control. This has been framed as a negative thing within the narrative (and there have been a handful of meta posts throughout the last few years that touch on this) but Levi hasn’t really had to face any consequences for inflicting harm onto the other characters. This ties into the overall narrative that violence isn’t the way we should solve our problems and that letting go of grudges is the only way for humanity to move forward in a healthy manner. Levi is currently stewing in a bowl of both of these issues. 

A thought I had the other day was how Kenny is a person who lusted for power and used violence as a means to prove he was the strongest. He was the one who taught Levi that violence is the only way to be strong and stay on top. Levi has lived by this his entire life since then - it’s the only thing he’s ever known. Kenny never let go of violence and in the end that’s what got him killed. Levi would surely head down the same path if he keeps using violence as a means to solve his problems. 

“But Zeke had it coming.”

I fully agree! Zeke has done horrible things that have affected Levi more than anyone and he certainly didn’t do himself any good by adding fuel to the fire when he transformed Levi’s soldiers into titans. Levi reacting angrily to Zeke’s actions is understandable and very much justified. 

However, it should have stopped once he had Zeke disarmed and disabled. 

It did not. 

The first mistake that Levi made was impaling Zeke with a thunder spear which endangered not just Zeke, but Levi himself. He did so in order to force Zeke to stay completely still while Levi indulged himself in slicing Zeke’s legs up piece by piece. Not just once, but multiple times. This goes well beyond the point of disarming and capturing your enemy and crosses the line over into senseless self-indulgent torture. Levi makes his hatred for Zeke plain and clear as he taunts him and inflicts extreme pain onto him repeatedly. It’s vengeful, dangerous behavior.

It reminded me a lot of Roy Mustang’s treatment of Envy once he learned the truth about Envy’s role in Hughes’ murder in Fullmetal Alchemist. He hunts Envy down like an animal and makes it a point to torture Envy with his flame alchemy over and over and over, taunting him relentlessly while doing so. It’s a very ugly side of him and had he continued to indulge in that behavior and finish Envy off in such a cruel and horrifying way it would have destroyed the core of Mustang’s character. Luckily for him, he had Hawkeye there to stop him from taking that dark path. Levi had no such support here. But the result would end up the same had Levi fulfilled his goal of killing Zeke off for good after indulging his hatred this way. He would not have come out of the situation a better person.

So rather than being accompanied by a helpful character who could have supported him, stopped him and helped him understand why this behavior is dangerous, he got a thunder spear instead. 

While it’s easy to cheer Levi on during chapter 113 (and I certainly did), I felt that it was clear he crossed a line toward the end and that the narrative would punish him for it one way or another. So now Levi has a large scar on his face and, most importantly, two missing fingers. These are the consequences he must now face because he wanted to blindly indulge in his own hatred through violence. As someone who relies on violence, who relies on fighting to survive, Levi is going to be forced to adapt to his handicap and either relinquish violence and fighting forever, or find a way to modify his means of engagement. Either way, he is now going to have to rely on the help of others to accomplish anything for the remainder of this conflict. 

I personally still believe that a workaround is possible for Levi and that he can still fight using his signature reverse grip so long as a way for him to grip the handle can be figured out. Alternatively, he’ll be reduced to a ground soldier. Either way, “Humanity’s Strongest” will probably no longer be an appropriate title for him moving forward. Still, it would be a shame if he can’t provide some support in the climax as the main action guy of the series. 

“So, if Levi can still find a way to fight, then what lesson does he learn?”

Well, I think it’s simple: he needs to let go of killing Zeke. It is clear that the Powers-That-Be want Zeke alive. While I think that Levi’s vow at its core is a very beautiful thing in its intent and as a show of his unyielding loyalty to Erwin, it is a destructive one due to his feelings of resentment and rage being laced within it. 

Levi has indeed been very patient and accommodating with Zeke and the situation over all. He’s been an absolute trooper. I imagine there was even a part of him that hoped he had been wrong about Zeke all along and that Zeke could help them find a way out of their situation. But those feelings of hopefulness stopped as soon as he’d heard Eren was going off the grid. Once he had an opening and a reason to let that feeling of potential faith in Zeke die, he acted without a second thought and prepared immediately to see his vow fulfilled. 

Eren needs Zeke alive if he’s to fulfill his own plans without using Historia as a sacrifice. This is a huge and ongoing plot point - Historia’s life must not be sacrificed. Zeke is the “key” to unlocking the coordinate. Eren will be the one in full control. Regardless of Zeke’s own intentions, his body is needed as a vessel. This is why Levi cannot kill him and partly why Levi needs to let go of his grudge so that Eren can accomplish whatever it is he is trying to do. The other part being the overall theme of leaving the past in the past and moving forward toward a better future:

Levi is certainly not a child, but the cycle of vengeance has to stop somewhere. He can absolutely become one of the people who choose to stop it. Someone who has lived his entire life relying on violence finally choosing to let it go, particularly in a situation where he has strong feelings of hatred accompanying his current roadblock, would be a very powerful thing, in my opinion. 

Levi’s unfinished business & his ties to characters who still need him

Levi certainly still has things to do. His vow is the most prominent thing in the overall discussion. Levi swore to Erwin that he would take out the Beast Titan and ensure that Erwin’s death and the deaths of all his comrades would have meaning. 

The way I see it currently, this vow is being taken too literally and is weighing Levi down as a result. When the world was smaller moments before unlocking Grisha’s diaries from the basement, when Zeke was seen as the ultimate enemy to humanity, this vow made perfect sense. Take out enemy #1 and the problem is solved, humanity can move forward. That is no longer the case. The situation is far more complicated. 

Stewing in feelings of resentment and seeking revenge for what happened in Ragako and Shiganshina are not going to solve the problem at large and Levi needs to direct his energy into helping resolve the bigger conflict - something that goes far beyond Zeke and his boulder barrage four years ago in Shiganshina. This is the way that he can best honor the deaths of his comrades and give those deaths meaning. Killing Zeke won’t solve anything. Those deaths would still have been for naught if Eldia is wiped out anyway. Levi can still honor his vow. He just needs to put his eyes on the bigger picture. 

I think that one way for him to do this is not by focusing on the fallen comrades of his past, but by focusing on the relationships and people who are still alive and impacting the future. People who still need him as a support and mentor figure.

Levi’s relationships with Eren, Hange and Mikasa especially are ones that still need touched upon and fulfilled. 

Eren

While the world is certainly an enemy to Eldia, the true problem is the titan power. If the story’s resolution is removing the titan power from the world, then that is the idea that Levi needs to get behind and support. Since nothing is a guarantee, then Eren needs to use Zeke to see if he can make it happen in hopes that Historia’s fate will never be tied to the power of a shifter. 

Levi is one of the few characters who aren’t aligned with the Yeagerists who’ve expressed a reluctance to believe that Eren has become a true enemy. 

As the narrative continues to unfold, I believe that it has become more and more clear that Eren’s goals are not aligned with Zeke’s. Most likely, his goals aren’t aligned with the Yeagerists either. Eren knows things that the other characters and the readers do not. How much he has actually shared with the other characters is, however, unclear.

Since their first meeting, Levi has been a character who understands Eren’s true nature very well. He is good at reading people and always has been - this is why he chose to follow Erwin, even after realizing Erwin’s true motivations. As a foil to Erwin and someone who’s clearly taken the mantle of a “4D chess player” in his place, it makes sense for Levi to find it in himself to keep backing Eren up if he believes Eren’s heart is still in the right place. Like Erwin, Eren has chosen to keep certain individuals in the dark while trying to dish out a larger plan. Like Erwin, Eren has chosen to take heavy risks in order to see a goal through. There are differences in their methods, but that is why perhaps Levi (with the help of Hange and eventually, hopefully, Mikasa and Armin) can be used to guide Eren down a less destructive path.

Eren appears to have been honest with the Survey Corps about his intents prior to Liberio, but Hange had made it a point on the airship to let Eren know that they no longer trust him and then Eren was imprisoned as soon as he was returned to the island. If the SC refuses to trust in Eren, perhaps that is the reason why Eren has chosen to withhold from them. 

The exchange between Levi and Eren in 105 is still a very intriguing one in that Levi seems to be really let down with Eren’s current state and feels that Eren is not the type of person he’d ever see look this way. He’d always seen Eren as a untamable monster with an incredible amount of will. When he sees him on the airship, though, Eren just looks dead, down and defeated. This genuinely affects Levi. Levi’s show of sadness toward Eren in turn makes Eren react, eyes lighting up.

On top of Levi’s vow to Erwin, there is unfinished business with Eren as well. As a narrative mentor figure to Eren and someone who parallels him in many aspects, it makes sense for Levi to be one of the few characters left who can still reach Eren. Unlike Mikasa and Armin, who were thrown off by Eren’s abrasive attitude toward them and became emotionally compromised by Eren’s intentionally hurtful words, Levi is someone who wouldn’t sit back and allow Eren to pull such a stunt. Levi’s no-bullshit attitude in addition to his injuries might be one more tipping point to get the Eren we are familiar with to come out of hiding and divulge his plot. With Hange accompanying Levi and able to communicate to Eren what happened not just to Levi, but also about how Armin and Mikasa were almost caught in the Yeagerists’ assassination of Zackley, it could be a turning point for Eren’s character overall. 

Hange

As others have pointed out, Hange has been struggling with the pressure of living in Erwin’s shadow. Hange very much has her own strengths as a strategist but the nature of these strengths is very different from Erwin’s. She hasn’t been able to find the answers easily and feels that she cannot live up to Erwin’s legacy and it’s been a huge point of pressure for her. Throughout these years, Levi is the one who’s had to work as a support for Hange so she doesn’t crack under the pressure.

Levi’s vow to Erwin has also created a similar pressure on him. They love Erwin very much and they aspire to fill in his shoes. But it’s a heavy weight on their shoulders, whether they realize that or not.

These two have always worked better together, and it’s a blessing that the narrative has reunited them in their darkest moment. Hange has utterly hit rock bottom in terms of confidence, and Levi has now hit rock bottom in terms of his strength. It’s only when Hange finds Levi injured that we finally see a spark of her on-the-spot strategics come to the surface again. 

I think that a moment similar to this one -

- is something that the two characters very much need. While they need to come into their own in terms of stepping out of Erwin’s shadow, I think that this can be achieved by them realizing that they can be just as good in comparison. They’ve reached this type of enlightenment before, and I think that they can do it again. 

One thing that Levi can contribute to the story is by working as a support character to Hange to help her come into her own as a commander and as someone who can make the right decisions again. Someone who can bolster her confidence and help her find the answers. She has been lost in this last month without him there to help push her. In return, she can work as a support to Levi during his time of uncertainty on how to move forward with his new handicap and/or perhaps help him figure out a way that he can still fight. 

I think that with enough brainstorming and time to hash out ideas, they will come to a conclusion together in terms of getting through to Eren and moving forward with a solid way to handle the conflict ahead of them. 

Mikasa

Mikasa is a character who is long overdue for a profound moment with Levi, especially in light of the recent revelations about their shared blood. 

Her sense of identity has taken a massive hit, and she is probably wallowing in feelings of complete uncertainty about who she really is and what she really stands for. While having Levi sidelined via injury or death is something that would force her to take more spotlight in terms of fighting prowess, he can also serve as a support for her in this time of doubt about who she is as a person - of course, he can only be that person if he is alive. 

Levi is someone who can assure her that she is not beholden to Eren, that she is not a slave to him and that her feelings for Eren are true and real. This can, in turn, lead Mikasa to the correct answer on whether she wants to continue supporting and protecting Eren or to let him go. If the opportunity comes, I think it’s long overdue that the two of them talk about their shared blood and what it means to them and for them. 

I think that there is no better person for Mikasa to have an interaction with during this time than Levi. Sure, Armin can assure her that her feelings are real, but to have this verified by someone who’s allegedly beholden to the same kind of bond as she is, I think it would be more reassuring coming from Levi. Perhaps even together, they can figure out how best to move forward in terms of Eren. 

If Levi is to let his vow to Erwin go, I think that he can find fulfillment in knowing he contributed to the growth of those around him if they can reach the answer that will save Eldia together. I think that this is something that honors Erwin’s memory far more than indulging in vengeful violence toward the man responsible for his death. I think that this is something that allows Levi to stay a good and kind person, and also allows him growth, to move away from violence as a means of survival, and instead rely on others to help push everyone forward toward something better and brighter. To a world where violence is no longer necessary. 

Whether all of these things happen or not, they are potential developments that Levi would have to be around to push forward. His biggest role in the story is as a support character who has helped to guide others in the right direction. To lose him is to lose that sense of guidance and cast a larger feeling of helplessness all around in terms of the feel of the story and the overall plot. I’m personally a fan of the more hopeful narrative. 

To summarize:

The lesson Levi can learn from what happened to him is that he needs to learn when to let go and to direct his attention to the living who still need him; this ties into the overall theme of letting go of grudges and violence and moving forward to a more positive and kinder future rooted in forgiveness and looking ahead instead of wallowing on the wrongdoings of the past.

The role he can play is to be a figure of guidance and support for the characters who are still very much in need of it (whether that be his physical strength or mental fortitude). 

I hope this helps at least a little. A lot of these are merely wishes and hopes that I have for his character (and admittedly a lot of these things also require enough downtime for the characters to begin with - something I’m uncertain they will get). But I think that he has far more to contribute to the story alive than he does dead. I’m very curious to see how he pushes forward in light of his injuries and learning that Zeke is still alive.

[theotherackerman]

Invisible String

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

CHAPTER THREE: LORE

Eren is back in the white room, alone.

"Hey! Founder Ymir but not! I talked to her! She remembers! You probably already knew that," Eren shouts into the abyss.

"Why are you yelling?" A voice calls. It was unlike any voice Eren had ever heard. The musical laughter that unscored the voice caught him off guard.

"Because I can't see you," Eren scoffs.

"You can't see me most of the time but yet I see and hear you. You're starting to overthink things, Eren."

POP!

The room shifts.  They are back at the bar. The entity taking the form of Founder Ymir is back behind the bar, shaking a drink.

“Do you drink, Eren Jaeger?” she asks as she grabs a glass and pouring the contents of the shaker into it.

“Sometimes,” he replies.

She pushes the glass towards him. Eren takes it and drinks. It tastes like rubbing alcohol or at least what Eren thinks rubbing alcohol would taste like. He coughs.

“I can’t seem to get it right,” the entity replies before sighing. “Why don’t you tell her what happened in the past?”

“What good would that do? She’ll just think I’m a monster,” Eren mutters.

The entity reaches across the table and presses a finger to Eren’s head again.

The memories come flooding back.

The rumbling.

The children scream.

So much blood.

So many innocent lives.

He’s forced to relive it again.

But the memories slow.

Mikasa finds him.

The smile on his face. He knows this is the end. She’ll end his life. She’ll be a hero.

Even if she only sees him as family, it’s enough.

But the feeling of her lips on his before she raises a sword.

It is not a kiss between family or friends.

He feels it.

She loves him as much as he loves her but he has to die. He’s destroyed over half of the world.

The memories stop and he’s back in the bar.

“She loved you then, enough to do what she had to. She set you free. Set Ymir free, broke a curse.  Then she mourned you for the rest of her life. Now you're just going to let her suffer again?" The entity returns to dumping liquor into a shaker.

"Who are you? What are you? Was that your real voice I heard earlier?" He asks as pushes the horrible drink away.

"Real is subjective. This is happening right now in your head but it's real. I'm a friend. A very bored, in need of chaos, friend. Also I am a sucker for a good love story. Two star crossed lovers given a second chance? It's art in reality. This time around, I just want to see you happy. That's all."

"That entire speech wasn't helpful. Can you...just tell me your name?”

“But where is the fun in that? Fine. I was once called Lore, at least in my female form.”

“What do you really look like?” Eren asked.

“There you go with that real and really. None of that matters. I chose whatever form suits me at the time. Sometimes I’m human. Sometimes I’m an animal. I have to say, Founder Ymir...isn’t close to what I look like. It’s just easier to be someone the person knows sometimes. But I suppose we’ve got past that now, haven’t we?”

The entity snaps its fingers and changes shape.

Instead of Founder Ymir, a tall woman with long black hair in a green dress stood in front of Eren. Her skin was extremely pale but not sickly. It was the eyes that got Eren, there seem to be flames in them.

“Oh, right. The eyes freak people out. Let me fix that,” the voice from earlier has returned. With another snap of the fingers, her eyes change to an almost golden color.

“Lore, you said?” Eren asks.

“Hmm...it’s been a while since anyone has called me that but for now, it’ll do. It’s been a while since I’ve been in this form. Why am I so tall? Ugh and these shoes….why did I wear heels? It’ll need adjusting but it’ll do.” The entity...Lore...holds her arms out checking out her body. “Alright, enough of that. When are you going to talk to her again? Are you truly meeting her tomorrow?”

“Yes, I am. I don’t know. I don’t think I slaughtered eighty percent of humanity is a great opening line,” Eren mumbles as he began to absentmindedly play with the liquid that was left in the cup that he had shoved away.

“You do have a point there. How about something from old life...something happy...there were not many of those moments...were there?” Lore began adding ice to the shaker this time. “Hmm….think on that. Your alarm is about to go off and I haven’t finished my drink. Think on what I said. Something happy.”

Eren’s alarm goes off.

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Mikasa can't sleep.

She tosses and turns for hours.

There is no rest for her.

"This is ridiculous," she mutters to herself.

Why can't she sleep?

Why did she fall earlier?

Is the man from her dreams truly real?

Or is she slowly but finally losing her mind?

She's not sure.

All she knows is that being with Eren makes sense.

Mikasa has always felt a strange protectiveness over Eren.

Well, past Eren.

She hated the lessons in class about how evil Eren was. He had done horrible, awful things but couldn’t any of them easily become a monster? Wasn’t that what Eren did? It wasn’t excusable but neither was what Marley had done either. None of it was excusable.

Regardless of what her classmates had thought, history was not black and white.

It was clear that her feelings about past Eren had come from him sharing the name with her soulmate.

Mikasa sighs.

She looks down at her wrist. For a moment, she swore she saw a tattoo on it before it disappeared.

She was losing it.

Clearly, when she had fallen to the floor, she had hit her head and lost her mind, at least that’s what she blamed it on.

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She didn’t know when she had fallen to sleep but she heard a pounding at the front door.  She groans as she gets out of bed and makes her way to the door. She looks out the small hole to see her sister on the other side of the door. She sighs as she unlocks the door and opens it.

“I heard what happened,” Gabi says as she barges into the apartment. “Are you okay? Also, there was a boy? Did you get a boyfriend and forget to tell me?”  Her younger sister sighs as she crosses her arms across her chest.

“That’s really what you’re angry about, isn’t it?” Mikasa teases her.

“No...well, maybe."

"He's just a new friend I made. He lives downstairs. He's my neighbor "

An easy explanation instead of Oh He's the boy I've been dreaming about for years but never met and he's my soulmate.

Mikasa sighs.

"That's so boring! Here I was hoping for something interesting!" Gabi exclaims.

"Sorry. You know me. I just paint and wait tables," she shrugs.

"Well. I just stopped by to see you. I have class in an hour. Call or text dad. He's worried."

Mikasa nods and Gabi leaves the apartment.

Mikasa takes a moment to breathe. Things were getting strange.

She wasn't sure what was real or if this whole situation was a part of something else.

But it made sense.

Her defending of Eren Jaeger

The dreams.

But how were they all happening?

What the actual fuck was going on?

Mikasa sighs.

She's exhausted.

But sleep evades her. She paints for a few hours to get her mind off of things.

She decides to go back to bed after the colors all start to blur.

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She dreams of him.

His hands are her hair.

His shirt was discarded.

His lips on hers.

She can't stop touching him and tracing his body with her hands.

She wants this just as desperately as he does.

But there's a problem.

She has no idea what she's doing.

She's twenty three and she's never even kissed someone else.

But the way Eren is touching her.

His hands are pulling at her shirt.

He pulls away from her.

"You're so beautiful," he tells her with a grin that melts her heart.

Her face goes red.

Then there's a look of confusion on his face. "Fuck! It's actually you. Not just dream you."

"Is this a dream you have often?"

He sighs. "Sometimes. It's just...I didn't….I mean...well...fuck."

"What is this place?" She asks finally as she looks around at the aurora borealis that surrounds them. The stars that stretch out across the dark night sky.

"I think it's the bond between us. I don't know. I didn't completely understand paths to begin with but this is not that. This is…..something."

"Was I okay?" she asks.

He's confused

"The kissing. Was I okay?"

He smiles, "yeah. You were okay. Just don't think I'm a pervert if I would have known it was actually you, I wouldn't have. You barely know me. And while I remember other versions of  you, I don't know this one."

He sighs and the scenery changes. They're back at the beach. Eren sits in the and fidgets with a piece of driftwood for a moment before chucking it away.

Mikasa just watches.

"It wasn't bad," she tells him when she finally decides he has suffered enough. "I enjoyed that."

"How much did you love me?" She asks after a moment.

He stares at her.

"More than you'll ever know or understand,” he answers.

It's a lot for her to take in but somehow she knows none of it's a lie.

They stare at one another for a good moment.

"My alarm is going off. I should go," he says and he disappears from the place.

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Eren wakes up in the real world.

He sighs as he swipes the alarm on his phone up.

He wants nothing more than to run upstairs to see Mikasa.

He'd see her a 100 times if he could.

But she probably needs her space. She'll need to process this first.

Eren has the unfortunate memory of their lives together.

Eren meets them all sooner or later, h is friends from his previous life.

His friends that he had destroyed the world for.

But Mikasa was different.

Eren didn’t know how that made him feel.

“Eren!” Armin calls from the other room, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I’m going to my afternoon classes. Probably won’t be home until late.”

“You finally going to ask Annie out?” Eren asks as he runs a hand through his hair and leans in the doorway of his bedroom.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Either way, I won’t be home until late.”

Eren just simply nods as Armin makes his way out of the front door of his apartment.

What is Eren going to tell Mikasa?

Hey. I was in love with you but you said we were family and while I wanted to run away from all of our problems with you  but I had to destroy the entire world instead to keep you safe. I told you to move on and fall in love with someone else but you didn’t and now we’re both here?

That sounds ridiculous.

He can’t tell her that.

Why does she believe him so easily?

Because she had been in those dreams too.

And then the dream this morning…..

There was nothing more he wanted to do but be physical with her. While they had spent that time together in paths….he could only imagine what fully having her would be like.

He needs to stop thinking about her like that.

Armin never asks about why Eren doesn’t date or doesn’t show interest in anyone.

Eren hasn’t told Armin who he is or who Armin is. Or how Annie is that Annie.

He can see all of their past lives.

His past.

But none of it matters, if he rights his mistakes with Mikasa.

He’ll take a cold shower.

Then he’ll go upstairs and pray she doesn’t see him as a pervert.