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zero-ek · 7 months ago

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A couple other live concerts and a couple other thoughts on them

Yo!

So this is coming after another post concerning other concerts, i had to break it off cause i reached the image limit on that one lol, plus i felt like it'd be more thematically concise to separate these guys into their own post. So yeah, anyway, here's part one.

Also also because these don't allow screenshots i did my best to describe every highlight, but because of that this became a huge block of text, just a heads up.

3. Natsume Itsuki – Parallel Shot

(See the KV here cause i don't want Hanagata to be mad at me)

Dang, it’s been a month already....

So, good news, I’m not as moody as I’ve been the previous days, so thankfully i did get to enjoy myself watching this concert a lot more, however...

You see, this was, as per usual, a two performance concert (which by the way if you know it I’d really like to know why that is a thing), and usually with these both performances are mostly the same, with some minor changes to the setlist and whatnot. Now while they did stream both parts this time (usually only the nighttime one is available), I’m kinda on a budget, so, thinking i wouldn’t be missing out on much, i got the nighttime one, since it’s the one i normally go for.

Tamu, however, decided that this time there’d be a storyline playing through both performances, and pretty much built the entire experience around it, the song choices, the breaks and everything. So while it was by all means an awesome performance, i was left really itching because i didn’t get the full picture.

I did watch her post-concert talk and the daytime performance watchalong, so i do sort of have an idea of what went on, but dang it I’m feeling so sad that i didn’t actually get to see it, especially since in hindsight, i really want to know how the songs she sang in the daytime part sound like live. But hey, the chance’s already been missed, not much i can do about it now.

Oh, before we get into the actual live, i gotta mention this:

Look. at. This!

I’ve known about this outfit since her first live 8 months ago or so, but she hadn’t posted any pics of it until now so i totally forgot about it. I still can’t believe not only that she actually had this made, but that it looks as good as it does.

First song was “Struggle of Egos”, the theme for this concert, and like, i cannot begin to explain how absolutely m a s s i v e this song sounds live, like it’s incredible. Tamu’s singing is also a lot “shoutier” live, which only makes the performance even rawer (hey hey actually if you wanna check it out for yourself she does show the first couple songs on her watchalong stream so you can go see that I’m not lying)

Also, it might just be the camera framing but the venue looks huge! Like i actually got a little jumpscared by how big it looked, especially with that massive screen behind her (looking it up, it says it’s 618 inches, or 15 meters in diameter!). Also i really love the camera angles, there is a crew operating them manually, so there’s a lot of dynamic shots and very precise closeups.

She then sang her solo version of “Tsuisou no Ragnarok”, which is her collab song with Nakucha under Gree Entertainment. I mention this because firstly on looking up what Gree is exactly i learned that they also work with Assault Lily, which now has me convinced that everything I’ve ever been interested in is run by the same like 10 people or something how the heck do i keep running into the same things like this? But more importantly i gotta mention that I’m really happy that Hifumi seems to be making a hard push for these two lately, i get the impression that they saw how banging they’ve been with La Prière this past two years and realized it’s worth getting them out there. Also, as an Eufolie enjoyer I’m just happy in general that these two are doing stuff together again (even if it isn’t jazz).

She performed “Happy Enforcer” and “Spider Girl” with the dancers from the last concert, and she mentioned afterwards that she messed up pretty hard her dance parts, but honestly those girls were going extremely hard, i gotta commend her for managing to keep up and sing at the same time.

So, for the story, or what i understood of it: it seems that 3D Tamu is actually a separate entity than utaite Tamu, and while they should normally coexist as like perfect mirrors of one another, something went wrong and 3D Tamu started to be loaded up into utaite Tamu’s body instead. 3D Tamu then asks if she could take the opportunity to borrow her body so she can see the real world, which real Tamu accepts, but something seems off.

The now 3D-Tamu-in-real-Tamu’s-body then sang some covers, the highlight for me being “Unravel”. I’ve heard this song like a million times by now, but I’ve never heard it sung in the context of a live concert, and Tamu’s main vocal character being the raw energy her voice has gave me some of the most intense chills I’ve felt in a little while.

The two Tamus talk a little more, and turns out some time loop shenanigans are going on, 3D Tamu is purposefully trying to hijack real Tamu’s body and wants to keep this concert on repeat endlessly. So, from what i could piece together, the daytime performance was the first loop, in which she successfully took over and reset everything.

The robot cat thingie, which i actually don’t know the name of someone help (Future Zero note: apparently he’s called "War Criminal Cat" lmao) managed to remember everything though, and asked the audience to help break the loop and stop 3D Tamu. They do, and that sends the concert, which apparently was exactly the same as the daytime performance so far, off course. It seems that 3D Tamu is on Banana mentality, so real Tamu talks about how the uniqueness of each performance is what makes live concerts exciting to try to talk her out of it.

And like, starting from here until pretty much the end of the concert, she sings a battery of some of her most intense songs, which, looking at the setlist, seems to mirror the more pop-y vibes from the daytime setlist, which i imagine were 3D Tamu’s picks. Particular highlight to “Fragment of Qualia”, i adore that song and was so hyped to hear it live, hearing it with the huge venue acoustics and the crowd cheering was already amazing through the stream, i can’t even imagine how crazy it must’ve been to actually be there.

Also, i gotta mention, the entire concert has been pretty much high gear only so far, like, there’s been calmer songs, but overall it’s been high intensity all the way.

Finally, 3D Tamu is about to be expunged from real Tamu’s head, so as a final request, she asks real Tamu to shoot her with her gun, claiming she wants to at least go out with a bang. Real Tamu shoots... and misses, saying that you shouldn’t want to go out with a bang, but with beauty.

The two of them sing “Ai to CodeQ...” together, before 3D Tamu disappears for good. I’m like 99% sure that the entire story of this concert was written around and as a build up to this song, like, I’d say it’s even more of a theme song than “Struggle of Egos” is. I will admit that it’s not as much of a favourite for me, but it’s that thing where, when you listen to a song in a different context, it helps you see it in a different way, it’s been growing on me, particularly because existentialism is my bread and butter and the lyrics for this song touch on that quite a bit.

Anyways, this is where the concert ends formally, so for the encore, she sings “My Entertainer”, which 3D Tamu sang on her daytime setlist (this mirrors that the daytime encore was Anamnesis, which was in real Tamu’s nighttime setlist). The dancers come back for this one, and Tamu is still keeping up like my gosh what does this girl eat???

By the way, speaking of the setlist, I’m particularly sad to have missed the last three songs of the daytime one. She sang an alternate version of “Junjou Sacrifice”, which she did release and i honestly love it more than the original, i feel like the instrumentation encapsulates the vibe of the lyrics much better. Then “Miniascape”, which is one of my favourites of hers just out of the sheer atmosphere it evokes, and she ended with “Son Macabre”, which i honestly didn’t like at first, but it seriously grew on me a whole lot, she mentioned it on the watchalong, but it really gives off that “bad end” vibe really well, from the perspective of the villain, particularly, and i reeeeeeeally wanted to hear that in the context of this concert’s story.

Now that the story is over, Tamu can finally break character and do an MC. Yep, the only MC is in the encore. She goes at it for like i think 15 minutes or so, mainly showcasing merch and talking about how this whole live came to be, and like, she’s talking at like a hundred miles an hour, mind you she’s doing this for the second time on the day, and this one is even more hyped up than the daytime one, and there’s not a sliver of tiredness at all in her voice, like if i speak uninterrupted for just 10 minutes my throat feels sore for the rest of the day girl what are you?

The biggest announcement is that she’s going on tour!!! And with a live band!!! Like, the momentum that she and the other LaPri girls have been on is insane, they’ve done so much these past two years that whenever something new is announced, i get kinda fearful that like, it’s gonna be their peak and things will start to slow down, just because y’know, they’re pretty much as close to indie as you can get (nayuta in particular actually being one), but no, they just keep shooting higher and higher, and that really warms my heart.

Also, with how intense Tamu’s songs in particular are, my excitement is through the roof to hear how a live band brings them to life.

Actually, now that i think about it, it might’ve been for the best that i picked the nighttime performance, I’m writing this a couple days after my first watch, so i had a little time to marinate my thoughts on it, and most importantly the immediate post-event-hype wore off, so I’m more inclined to think “dang it, i really wanted to see that”. And like yeah, i am a lil pouty that i didn’t get to watch everything, but on second thought i feel like i really needed the uninterrupted burst of energy that this live was.

I like to make playlists of concerts after i watch them, not only cuz it helps me remember but often because i like to think about the intention that went into arranging the songs in that particular order. I’ve noticed that I’ve been listening to Tamu’s quite a bit ever since, and i feel that i gained another level of appreciation for her stuff now, particularly because i was in the position that i was when i watched her concert, which is fun, but also cruel to think about how these sorts of pieces move. (Future Zero note: guys help me i don’t know what the frick i meant by this???)

I don't know how to end this, uhh... i guess the lesson here is beware of time warping, body-snatching, cute singing anime girls. Yeah.

4. Aitsuki Nakuru – Qulalim Stella

After all these years, i finally know how to write クラリムステラin romaji! It’s still nonsense but it sounds cool

Oh and by the way this is the best concert I’ve ever watched. Ever.

I’ll get into detail about it in a bit but I’m finishing writing this up over a week after i first watched it, and i still cannot get this concert out of my head (which for me is saying something), like it was just so good in all the best little ways a concert can be, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Before we get into the songs, i wanna talk about the visuals. First and foremost, the venue was massive, like, look at this!

I looked it up, and the capacity is for roughly 1.7 thousand people seated, and it was absolutely packed! And also, the stage was fully decorated, which i could be wrong but i don’t think I’ve seen that before in utaite concerts (usually it’s just the empty stage, or just the screen behind them), which really helped bring the performances to life, considering how large the stage was.

But what i freaked out the most about was this:

They actually made her the Nardack/Indigrotto/jellyfish outfit!!!

She had announced what the stage outfit would be like (this one, from the 2nd keyvis and designed by her friend Youichi), and with how complex Nardack’s design is, i wasn’t expecting at all that she’d actually have it made too. The pics really don’t do it justice, it looked amazing on stage, the skirt is a lot puffier than it looks, and the translucent parts looked especially great with the stage lights shining through them.

The first three songs were very fitting for a 1st concert, in a “this is who i am vibe”, she started with “Azura Lano”, which she later called her “self introduction song”, then “Cosmodiver”, one of her latest songs, which she actually explained that it was made especially for this concert (and written by Tamu, no less!). And “Kotonoha”, a very old song for the older fans, which I’ve never heard before because I’m an overseas fan and Nacollection 1 doesn't exist for us.

A couple of things to note, first of all, my compliments to the PA team, the whole concert was mixed to perfection, with the venue being as large as it was, the acoustics were really intense, but not too overbearing on the ears. Also, and I’ve noticed this on her 3D stuff, but it’s amazing how Nakucha’s voice has so much projection while still remaining as airy and breathy as she usually is. She’s a human flute if I’ve ever seen one.

Also also, for this being her first ever solo concert, she’s an absolute natural at it, like, she said she’s just winging it, but she’s extremely charismatic and lively, her interactions and banter with the audience during the MCs had me smiling all the way. Of course, this isn’t her first concert per se, she’s had the past two years or so with LaPri and stuff, but i do think there’s a difference between having the other two to bounce off of and doing it on her own, and she pulled it off incredibly well.

Anyways, she sang her version of “Tsuisou no Ragnarok” (which in my humble opinion is the best one), and i haven’t been able to shake the thought that they’re gearing up for a NakuTamu two-man live, they’ve got another single coming up soon, and it really seems like Hifumi and Gree are pushing hard to make this pair a thing.

Now, for the first highlight of the night, “Oxydlate”.

Holy crap.

This was pretty much what everyone was talking about, reading up on tweets and live reports, and justifiably so, because oh my god what a performance. The song has some of the highest falsettos she can do, which was already impressive enough, but i think what really made this so incredible was actually getting to see her expressiveness during it, like, being able to see through her body language, the inflections and tiny imperfections on her voice denoting how demanding this song is, and how much work she is putting to pull it off so perfectly.

That, combined with just how enthralling the song itself is, is what i think made this so memorable, it gets you as into a performance as i think is humanly possible, like, i distinctively remember being in like a sort of a trance that i had to shake myself out of by the time the song ended, I didn’t mention this before, but i was home alone the day i watched this live, so i got to set up my computer to my actually pretty nice TV, and i really feel like that increased my experience of it like tenfold.

Oh, and i can’t not mention That One Part™ where she falls to her knees, which pretty much everyone was like “holy sh*t what a moment”, she actually mentioned on her post concert stream that she was only half-acting on that part, she really needed to get her bearings in that moment and figured she should do it with style. I personally feel like that part really cemented this as one of my favourite live performances of all time, like it’s that good.

Then it was Endorfin time! sky_delta came as a guest, playing the keyboard, i really liked how the stage really lit up during this part, with the strobe lights going crazy in the back, and the crowd really got to cheer hard during this part too, Endorfin’s songs usually being more upbeat, and that played off of the hype from “Oxydlate” perfectly in my opinion. A special highlight to “Suisei no Parasol” because sky_delta got to play a sick solo in it.

I wish sky_delta had stayed longer, not only because live instruments are better as we all know, but honestly he himself was a joy to watch. He’s a little more awkward on stage than Nakucha, but they bounce off each other really well, and he really seemed super happy to be there. She mentioned how he approached her 10 years ago, when she wasn’t doing singing as much, and was like like “hey let’s do this thing”, and now she got him to perform their songs in front of almost two thousand people, that really warmed my heart.

Entering the second half of the concert, a prerecorded performance of 3D Nakucha sings “Indigrotto” while real Nakucha goes to change outfits, it looked sort of like this (there's a timestamp here i hope it works):

She comes back wearing the dark outfit from the 2nd keyvis and sings “Evil Bubble” joined by two dancers, and i must say that I’ve not seen a harder display of bad b*tchery as this. She spends most of the performance sat on this ornate sofa, doing a badass pose, while the two other girls dance wildly around her, and only at the end she gets escorted out of it, hand in hand with the dancers, mirroring the puppet imagery from the song. I gotta give props to the camera work here for really going crazy with the shakes and angles while still managing to capture everything, it made the recording really come alive

She then really goes off and joins in on the choreography in “Lilith”, and like, she absolutely s l a y e d, she kept up with the dancers amazingly, and the choreo itself was incredibly captivating (this is my polite way to say that she had me swooning lol it’s a sexy song and I’m gay what do you expect?).

The next three songs were pretty much each one a highlight, being all fan favourites, but i feel like the last one in particular even more so. She started with “Gyakusaka”, with the dancers doing this amazing performance with traditional umbrellas. Then “Killer Neuron”, which is already hype enough of a song just from the sheer energy of it, but was even more intense to watch, with the dancers going all out, and the incredible camerawork being the cherry on top.

She then went into an MC and i gotta say that i love how she’ll sing like the hardest, filthiest, most stank-face inducing songs known to man, and then be all like “hey guuyyyss ☺️☺️☺️ that was Killer Neuron!!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️ how'd you like it???? ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️”.

Halfway through the MC, the lights go out, and when they come back up, Nakucha starts speaking in this overbearingly cutesy and bubbly way, and i adore that i immediately knew what was going on. Like, she could’ve just gone straight into the song, even more so since everyone knew she was going to sing it in this concert (it was chosen by the fans through a poll), but it’s super cool that she took the time to make up a whole routine to build up to it, even though I’m pretty sure she was cringing on the inside.

Anyways, yeah, the next song is “Fake Idol”, the Aitsuki Nakuru song of the 2020s (so far). And y’know, as hype as this song was with the whole buildup and everything, by this point the rhythm of the second half has already settled in, so there isn’t much i can say about this performance that i haven’t about the others already. But as it turns out, she has a trick up her sleeve, because following this one, she sings two of her “actual idol-ish” songs, which i thought was genius.

Like, if these two songs were anywhere else on the setlist, it would’ve been fine, cutesy upbeat songs are fun to cheer to, but i wouldn’t think much of it. But because she started the set with “Fake Idol”, you get that lingering feeling that something isn’t right. The two songs, “Continue!” and “Watashi ga Watashi ni Itatta...” are perfectly innocent, cute songs, and she just sang them normally, but she manages to spin them around as songs that put you off simply by their placement.

Which is another reason why i believe why this is my favourite concert ever: the setlist was absolutely perfect, every song choice was perfect, their positioning on the setlist was perfect, and the flow from one section to the other was completely immaculate.

The last song was “Kore Kurai de”, another one i actually hadn’t heard before either. As it turns out, it’s a song she sang for a really old eroge, and actually i wanna take the chance to ask what is it with eroges having some of the hardest ending songs ever? Like, i do appreciate the effort and that they take themselves so seriously, but like, the amount of times I’ve heard a banger only to look it up and see that it came from an eroge is insane (looking at you, I’ve sound, Mosaic.wav). Kudos to japanese devs for that.

She explains that the reason she chose this song in particular was because not only she imagined that it’d be nostalgic for a lot of people, but because the lyrics summarized perfectly what she had to say and how she wanted to end this live with. Halfway through the song, though, she started to cry, and i don’t mean like her voice was shaking or she teared up a bit or anything like that. No, i mean she cried hard, like to the point that she couldn’t even finish the verses anymore. She managed to power through but as soon as the song ended she just mumbled a “thank you” and literally ran away from the stage.

It hit me really hard that, like, the girl who was lighting the whole stage on fire only 5 minutes ago and pulled off every song on the setlist flawlessly was the same one crying so hard that she could barely get the words out. Mainly because she isn’t the most open about herself, not that she doesn’t share (i mean look at her sub-twitter), but she’s sort of like the type of person that you can only infer so much about what they’re like from what they show you, so you can’t say that you really “know them” for certain.

(Also overall, she just isn’t around all that much)

So because of that, i really didn’t know how to feel about what had happened, it was simultaneously extremely endearing, given that the song is about not being able to properly express one’s gratitude for how cherished they are. But at the same time, i felt guilty somewhat, it takes a lot of fortitude to be vulnerable in front of someone, let alone over a thousand people, and i got the impression that she wasn’t particularly ready to be put in that position. I sincerely hope that I’m wrong and that she did felt at least comfortable enough to be seen like that, i imagine everyone knows how much it sucks to crumble somewhere you don’t feel safe doing so.

She came back for the encore, and the first thing she said was “this is so cringe”, which... yeah, i can imagine, if it was me i would’ve just went home then and there and not do an encore at all, professionalism be damned. Again, I hope it’s not something that’ll haunt her in her sleep or anything. It was usual encore business, she showed off her merch, did her announcements, she called the dancers and sky_delta to the stage to say a couple words, which was particularly nice. But most importantly to me i think was the little talk about herself she had at the end.

In her words, she’s always been nothing more than an “empty void”, someone who never had any big dreams or passions in her life, being overall a complete pessimist. But that changed once “Aitsuki Nakuru” came to be, because that was a part of her that people began to look up to. Since then, she dreamed that she could keep on being “Aitsuki Nakuru”, to be able to live up to who that is.

She said that if “Aitsuki Nakuru” were to fade away, she’s afraid that she might end up back on her old ways, “a monster of pessimism”, as she put it. So, as long as the veil of “Aitsuki Nakuru” exists, she wants everyone to keep watching over her through it, and keep her dream alive. And in return, she’ll keep on singing through it, to push everyone towards their own dreams. While she doesn’t want to be put in a pedestal or anything, all she asks is that everyone keeps the memory of “Aitsuki Nakuru”, even if just a small piece of it, on the back of their heads, until the day we die.

I mentioned that this was my favourite concert I’ve ever watched, and like initially i thought it was just the euphoria of blasting it on a big screen, which i never got to do before, but even after that wore down i was still thinking about it a whole lot, particularly these last 20 or so minutes of it. Plus, I watched some insanely incredible stuff, like, a core memory of mine, and the very reason I’m so into watching live concerts, was Kalafina’s very last concert on the Nippon Budoukan, that was an experience i cannot even begin to describe, and that I’m forever thankful that i never forgot about.

But what made this one so special to me, even in the face of much more objectively amazing stuff I’ve watched prior, is that it felt very human, “normal”, in a sense. I know that my gushing so far may not convey that very well, but for whatever reason, throughout the duration of this concert, i never once felt like i was looking “up” at her, that the girl on stage was someone above me, that i couldn’t see eye to eye with. This is something that I’ve been working to unlearn about people i admire ever since i left my teens, but that i don’t think I had faced it to this degree yet.

This could be just me assuming things, but from what little i know about her, Nakuru seems to be the type who doesn’t think too highly of herself, not in a self-deprecating way (although she goes that way sometimes), but as in like “i’m just a person doing person things like everyone else”. A thing to note, and that she mentioned a couple of times before, is that she didn’t particularly want to do a live concert at all. She doesn’t like singing in front of people, and even though she does do live events every so often, she gets a little unhappy about it because she feels that she isn’t cut out for it.

In contrast to that, this concert was put together to an unbelievable degree of perfection, as i made sure to let you know. You could see in every detail of it, the stage, the decorations, the outfits, the choreographies, the sound quality, the cinematography, the venue itself, that an insurmountable amount of effort went into producing this concert and making it happen as smoothly as it did. And people showed up for it, i know i keep on hammering this point but like holy ship the venue was massive, keeping in mind this is the very first live concert, of a doujin artist, i cannot stress enough how absolutely incredible that is.

Of course, i have to be real here, Hifumi is a very capable agency, and Nakuru is one of the more well known utaites out there, so it’s not like this is a total Cinderella type thing or anything. But even still it felt very personal, like, the high production value in this didn’t feel like some celebrity’s grand endeavor, it felt like an everyday person, the type you’d see on the train or your coworker, being granted the opportunity to show the world that they can do something special.

And y’know, i think, and i at least hope, that this was a revelation to her as well, that she’s capable of a lot more than she gives herself credit for, and that there’s much more to reap from what she sowed for the past 10 years or so. “Aitsuki Nakuru” isn’t some ethereal existence that she needs to keep clinging onto to be able to have some sense of worth, “Aitsuki Nakuru” is something she made with her own hands, the result of work and dedication. It may not be who she is, but is what she achieved, and i sincerely hope she is as proud of that as everyone else around her clearly is.

“Kore Kurai de” was a song about gratitude, being shown happiness that one doesn’t know they could have, but not being able to express themselves about it. With the context of what she spoke about herself and what “Aitsuki Nakuru” means to her, i would like to think that her tears came from realizing that it’s her that we’re looking at. She is Aitsuki Nakuru, the happiness and gratitude she wanted so much to convey through that song was the result of what she worked to achieve. Not some external concept bound to a song or illustration or 3D model, her, the actual person in this world that made it happen.

In short, this is my favourite concert of all time, not just because it was some million dollar production that was completely and utterly impressive every step of the way (which it was, mind you), but because it was the work of a very flawed individual, not unlike all of us, that shows that we’re not any less capable of achieving incredible things because of it, even if we might not personally believe it so.

Anyways i didn’t even mention the encore track, it was the title track of the concert, “Qulalim Stella”, which by the way i actually took the time to translate, if you scroll down on the music video you’ll see me down there lol. I particularly like the second chorus, in the context of this concert:

“The yesterdays that i put behind me, and the hazy tomorrows yet to come

I hope that i can eventually embrace them both.

Because you showed me a side of myself i never knew of, I can now shine so brightly. And so

I shake away my doubts, so the path i walk may continue.”

Like I’ve said before, the song choices and placement for the setlist was absolutely immaculate, following up on the themes of “Kore Kurai de”, but with much more conviction and firm grasp and understanding of oneself. I’m not sure if that’s something she actually thought about, but i hope that, as the song suggests, she can hold her head up high moving forward and be more proud of herself.

(Future Zero note: her current Twitter banner is a shot of the live concert visuals from Fake Idol, kinda ominous but i hope this means she sees live concerts more favourably now lol)

Oh, yeah, and the announcement! To no one’s surprise, really, she’s gonna do another live, and looking at the venue holy shoot the place is even more massive than the first! I don’t think i need to say how excited i am for this one!

Nakucha world Domination!!!

6. La Prière – Splash the Tone

(Go follow Narumi-sensei he actually has a tumblr!)

It’s summer!!!

Well, not in Japan, and especially not here, but it might as well be, I’m pretty sure it rained like at least once a week for the entire last year, but lately it’s been scolding hot every single day, I’m pretty sure my skin is sublimating, and i even got a pretty bad nosebleed the other day.

This concert really was like an Avengers moment, since not only it follows only a little while after Tamu and Nakucha’s solo lives, but also, as the very last stop of their tour, it’s the last project backed by the crowdfunding from two years ago (which i still can’t wrap my head around how insane that was). And it absolutely shows here, not only this is their biggest venue yet, but it was also incredibly produced. Like, from the stage outfits, to the adorable set decor, to some of the most professional and dynamic camerawork I’ve ever seen, it’s actually hard to believe that this wasn’t a company-backed concert, i cannot stress enough how well put together this live was.

The first three songs were probably the most in line with the summer theme, “Seishun Summer Dive”, which I’m actually a bit sad that they couldn’t find a way to sing the harmony parts live, but on the other hand, really highlighted just how perfect the live mixing was on this. The drums pop out so much that you’d actually think there was a live drummer in the venue. And yet, their voices were crystal clear, which particularly impressed me since not only were they wearing masks, but this song has the harmony parts and pretty dense horns as well, which could’ve very easily drowned out everything else.

Next was “Susume Lovely Idol...”, probably their silliest song, i really liked how not only they came up with a little choreography for it, but also fully acted out the little dialogue parts. While this isn’t a song that i usually go out of my way to listen to, it was very cute to watch it performed on stage.

They did a little intro MC (shout out to the couple people who were actually from overseas, i soooo envy you) and then went into the title track, “Splash the Tone”, and like, something that really surprised me, especially since the previous two songs were so high energy, was how incredibly soft nayuta sounded in this one, like, not only the texture of her voice, but even her pronunciation of each word was unbelievably clear, my heart actually skipped a beat every time she had a solo verse.

(not biased at all guys promise)

Then “Instant Love”, which actually had a pretty involved choreo that they absolutely slayed. Something i really love about this song is that it’s a perfect example of how their combined vocals are greater than the sum of their parts. Like, you have the verses sung solo, then the pre-chorus has one vocal line front and centre, but with the other two harmonizing the backing vocals (which i particularly like how since they each have a turn, it showcases the different combinations of their voices and how they harmonize together) and finally the chorus, which puts it all together with their unison parts.

Next, they sang “Evo”, which i actually didn’t expect to become one of my favourites, it’s one of those that never leaves your head after your second or third listen (damn you Chinozo and your catchy hooks), it was a particularly “ooh!” moment for me when it came up because they sang a different summer themed version of it, with a different MV in the back and everything, although sadly it's apparently not gonna be released.

Oh yeah, as if this live couldn’t get any better, they even brought guests! Nakurage (CV: Natsume Itsuki) and Poyuta (CV: Natsume Itsuki), who were both incredibly honoured to be there and absolutely came out of their own volition and not at all because they were coerced into it by a certain lady in blue or anything.

Something i really like about these smaller concerts is that, at least from what I’ve seen, the MCs are much more laid back and freeform, particularly with this one where there’s three people on stage, there isn’t much of a worry about keeping the audience “in the moment” and they can just goof around a lot more. Tamu and Nakucha in particular are such a dynamic duo, their back and forth is always so amusing i love it.

Ending the “upbeat” part of the live, they sang “Tenshin Ranman...” and “RisingSun” because they’re required by law to sing these two together. They and the audience had these little wooden fans during these two tracks, and the visual of the crowd waving them around was really compelling for me, i don’t know why, like, it made the venue feel very “alive” in a way.

Also, for the first highlight of the night, “RisingSun” holy shoot, it’s already my favorite of the two, but the live performance was jawdropping. The song has a lot of long tones, and nayuta absolutely knocked it out of the park on her parts, her voice was soo bewitching like i can’t put into words how well she was singing here. Like i mentioned before i don’t know if it’s just me but her voice just feels even more clearer and softer than ever in this live, i couldn’t get enough of it.

Also also, i didn’t mention, but in this first “idol-y” part, pretty much every song had a little choreo for them, a couple were very simple, and a couple were genuinely impressive. Like i mentioned, the one in “Instant Love”, but also the one for “Tenshin Ranman...” were probably my favourites.

There was an intermission while they went to change outfits, and the song that they played was... something, i could barely follow along because it was so trippy, like think “Susume Lovely Idol...” but double the BPM and add some very weird beat drops and breakdowns and a bunch of nonsense lyrics. It’s not something they released i think but i couldn’t not mention it because it was so weird.

The second half of the concert (which was more like 2/3 of it) is where in my opinion it really pops off. First and foremost look at their outfits:

Not only were they absolutely rocking these on the stage, but they sang 5 absolute bangers back to back, “richromatic prayer”, their latest song, really reminds me of their earlier, super intense material, like, it’d be a perfect fit for “Galaxy Triangle” had it come out back then. Next, “Eikyuu no Gemini”, which i can’t really explain why but it has that particular sort of epic feel that gets you pumped up in a “i want to flamboyantly swordfight to this” sort of way. And “Koi no Illusionista”, which is one of my favourite songs of theirs ever, not only because it’s extremely catchy, but also it has a super crazy and addicting rhythm section, which was absolutely incredible to hear through a live mix. (also I’m pretty sure their outfits were based on the ones from the MV), they also had a choreo for this one, so even more extra points.

They kept going with “Sweet Dreams”, which looking back, was probably the only low energy moment from the entire setlist, i mean “Instant Love” wasn’t super high energy, but it had the most complex choreo so far to make up for it. Also i wanna praise the camerawork again, since the girls were sitting down for this one, they went crazy with the effects and angles to still make it visually engaging. And finally closing up the set, “Muhou Chiten”, another personal favourite, it’s a very quintessential JRock song, but done so well that it just never leaves your head.

Now for another big highlight, the start of the next set was “Necrogamy”, which is like, an outstanding piece of music, like easily top 5 best LaPri songs, objectively speaking. I could just spend the rest of this report talking about all the things i like about this song, like, to me, it’s a distillation of everything that makes each of them, and LaPri as a whole, great, the lyrics are very engaging (massive props to Tamu, she wrote them!), and the melodies and instrumentation are so beautiful and captivating.

And of course, their vocals are so mesmerizing all the way, there’s solo parts showcasing their softer singing, then the first chorus in unison, displaying their synchronicity, but then, as the song shifts from major to minor they shift into harmonizing, which is probably my single favourite thing about this group: they each have such distinct voices, each very clear but in very different ways, yet they combine so perfectly when they harmonize, nayuta’s is focused yet clear, Nakucha’s is breathy and ethereal, and Tamu’s is strong and piercing.

Then there’s the c part, which suddenly brings the energy of the song up, and just condenses everything i just talked about, there’s unison parts, which devolves into disjointed solo verses, continuously building up in intensity until they all come in sync again to resolve the section. Finally, the song ends with a repeat of the a section, but it ends with them harmonizing a minor chord instead, reinforcing the overall theme of the song.

I really like this one...

The next one was “GHOST”, which while significantly less intense than the last one, it makes up for it by having very expressive verses, the rhythm is a very tight groove and the verses are more spoken and rap-esque, but the way they put a lot of emotion in their voices make it flow very naturally, while still being musically engaging. (Also i particularly love the drums in this one and again, the in house engineers killed it with the live mix). Then, “Sore wa Sekai...”, their first song ever as La Prière, and to this day one of their best ones, being incredibly well composed and masterfully making use of their vocals both individually and together. It was particularly interesting to hear it live, since it made for a good show of how much their singing has matured since then, Tamu in particular, since she sounds a lot more aggressive when she sings live, i feel like her parts were really the highlight of this track, particularly in the last chorus, where there was this little back and forth between Tamu alone and Nakucha and nayuta in unison, she cut straight though their softer vocals with how potent her voice is.

The final set of the concert though was just cruel.

“Habataku Kimi e” is another personal favourite, maybe not top 5 but extremely close, much like “Necrogamy” it’s all about how their vocals mesh together in all sorts of different ways, but while “Necrogamy” reels you in first before hitting you hard, this one is just a big explosion all the way through, like it’s all of the things i talked about before but condensed into a short but powerful burst of music, even more so on a live mix, where everything sounds so massive, and you can pick apart their voices even more clearly, like i got goosebumps so strong it actually hurt a little lol.

“Triptych Symphony” then follows in the vein of “Sore wa Sekai...”, in that it’s very much about each of them individually, showing off their own strengths and ultimately how they come together to make something even more beautiful as a trio than it’d be possible on their own, not only in the arrangement (which i can’t not appreciate that it was by nayuta, the talent on this girl), how it’s mostly solo parts, but certain parts will be highlighted by one or two of them doing backing vocals to support the lead for the part, and only converging in a unison part at the very end. But also in the lyrics, which actually i wanna come back to in a minute.

Then, finally, for maximum emotional damage, the final song of the concert was “Three Piece!”, which like... i didn’t think that i was gonna cry watching this live, but like, how do you not? That wasn’t fair at all. I wanna say that it was i think 10pm at the time but i actually sang along to this one, and yeah my sisters got mad at me for it but y’know what i had tears in my eyes and the biggest dumbest smile in my face and i regret absolutely nothing.

Thankfully they didn’t cut straight to the encore because the whiplash would’ve killed me, the first song was “Animatte Utopia”, which i had been wondering why it wasn’t together with “Evo”, since they both have the same energy. Again, since they didn’t cut straight to it like it usually is the case with these lives, and they even played a little intro for it, i had a little time to get my mood in order.

Anyways, i feel like I’ve been very cordial and respectful throughout this report, but i genuinely don’t think there’s any other way to express this.

nayuta.

Was too.

F***ing

CUTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FREAKING LOVE THIS WOMAN SHE IS SO DAMN ADORABLE OH MY F***ING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So they had changed into casual clothes, as per the usual with encore sections, but for this song they each had put on a set of animal ears and tail, corresponding to the MV. Not only that, but this one also had a super cute choreo too, and it’s probably just because I’m biased since she’s my favorite but like i feel like out of the three of them nayuta was the absolute cutest, just completely and utterly the most adorable little thingie I’ve ever seen, like i wanted to squeeze her till my arms give out, especially considering she’s the shorter one of of the three of them, so she just looked even more cute jumping around and doing the animal poses next to the other two. Like i swear to god i wanted to scream into my pillow because of how cute she was...

...ahem...

So, uh, yeah. Also, the choreo for this song was a really intense one, and the song itself is very fast paced, so it was actually really impressive that they pulled it off so flawlessly, especially considering they were using handheld mics, which are way too easy to lose volume if you pull them away even just a little bit. But then again i shouldn’t be too surprised since they were absolutely slaying from early on in this live.

While they were doing the usual encore stuff, showing off the merch and all, Tamu brought along a cake, and they sang Nakucha happy birthday (the live itself happened at the end of February, her birthday being March 1st.). Apparently it was the backstage crew’s suggestion, which I thought was very sweet of them, Nakucha mentioned that she doesn’t really like to celebrate her birthdays (same), but that she was genuinely glad that they went out of their way to do that for her, she stole a bite of of the cake and they took the ending pics with it, i hope that made it one to remember for her.

Now, for this encore’s Reflection Time™, which i actually wanna get into quite a bit. Nakucha asked the other two to “summarize what La Prière means to them in one sentence”. It’s a very interesting question to pose, seeing that this is not only the end of their Tour, but of the whole CF campaign and the two years of projects and content that it spawned, it’s the end of an era, pretty much. Not to mention that Nakucha was the one to bring it up, considering that this is only a few weeks after her own solo live and i told you what went on back then.

Tamu said that for her, it was a “turning point in her life”, mentioning how back then, it was a big push for her to quit the day job she had at the time, in order to make more time for LaPri’s projects. Of course, she had her solo career at the time, but that it was LaPri that pushed her to make that life-changing decision, and that she probably wouldn’t be here as we know her if it weren’t for it.

Coming off of that, nayuta said that it’s something that “added colour to her life”, how it allowed her to do things that she wouldn’t be able to by herself, this concert and tour being one of them. And that because she has the two of them with her, supporting her and stepping in where she falls short, she was able to broaden her horizons and achieve much more than she thought she could on her own.

(Also she mentions how the whole idea for a live CF project came from a long conversation about life that they had on the Tokyo Sky Tree at sunset, and like that’s the most idol anime thing ever are you kidding me???)

Finally, Nakucha says that for her, LaPri is “courage”, that back when she was doing her solo live, she had been so painfully nervous about doing it on her own, but now that she has the two of them with her this time around, she feels much more at ease. She talks about how she only got the courage to do a solo live because of having already done the LaPri concerts prior, because of the two of them pulling her out of her comfort zone and showing her what standing on stage has to offer, and that at the end of the day, she can do it on her own.

The overall sentiment here was very much that “i’ve made it somewhere i never thought i would”, which i think in the face of this concert in particular, is pretty much the single most suitable way to describe LaPri and the past two years. While y’know, in Nakucha’s solo live, the sentiment i got out of it was “someone not yet realizing how far they’ve come and how much farther they can go”, with this it was much more in the vein of them seizing an opportunity and taking it as far as they possibly can.

Nayuta mentioned how much of a wonder it was that the three of them, as doujin artists, were able to make it all the way to Tokyo Zepp (twice, even!), which thinking about it, yeah, that’s actually pretty crazy to think about. Sure, i think everyone who’s into japanese music knows one or two cinderella stories like that, but at the very least in the independent utaite sphere (as far as i know, Hifumi doesn’t have anything to do with LaPri in particular, though i wouldn’t be surprised), it’s not at all the most common thing to see projects of this scope.

I mean, yeah, they are sort of a supergroup, i think each of them has over 10 years of work under their belts, and are pretty much some of the most high profile people in the doujin music scene. But then again, it’s not the biggest scene out there to begin with, and even for some of the most accomplished veterans, a single live concert is an incredibly arduous task to pull off on their own, part of the reason why you’ll most often only see them live in festivals or as part of larger projects.

And yet here they are, with a two part concert and a 3 stop tour in only two years, finishing it off on Tokyo Zepp, and with such a widespread reach that not only were they able to stream it overseas, but they even got a sizeable handful of attendees from outside of Japan to come watch them in person. Putting it into perspective, it’s an absolutely bonkers thing to think about.

I mentioned the last three songs being such a hard hit, and i wanna elaborate on that a little more. “Habataku Kimi e” is a song about closure, it evokes the idea that things end and we gotta move on from it, but that there is much more to be seen beyond what we have now. That’s something that could be said about the live, the tour, the CF campaign or La Prière as a whole, especially if we take into account that it’s the theme song and very last track of their latest album.

They’ve just entered their 5th year as a group, and yeah, they’ve come so far, and achieved so much, but that’s gotta end at some point, and LaPri themselves are going to end at some point. And in that sense, and in the context of what they talked about afterwards, i feel like it’s as much of a song for themselves as it is a song for the listener, in the vein of “this won’t last forever, but that’s okay, we were able to be part of something special, and we can now look to the future precisely because we had it”.

I particularly love this last chorus:

“To you, spreading your wings, now i say

That this goodbye only hurts this much, because we’re now so full of light.

To you, spreading your wings, never stop moving forward

towards a new tomorrow, because even after we part

The paths we walk will continue on, forever”

The timing for this couldn’t have been more impeccable to me in particular...

If “Habataku Kimi e” is about “why” you should remember, then I’d say “Triptych Symphony” is much more about the “what” to remember them by, like i said, it’s very much about each of them and what makes their union special, i mean, a Triptych is a work of art in which three pieces (wink wink) make up a whole, which is reflected on the song’s overall theme of many voices, melodies, sounds, and destinies joining together to deliver a message, be it of “lament”, of “finality”, of “love”, and finally, in the last portion of the song, simply of “music”.

And y’know, while this song is about the merging of their voices, it’s very interesting that most of it is sung in solo parts, with only a couple of spots where all three of them sing together, like in the first pre-chorus, “this lone melody i found among the darkness shall change my fate”, or the whole second verse, which is a flip on the much more somber message of the first one. The same goes for the verses each of them sing and how they might relate to each of them in a deeper level (Nakucha’s in particular), i hadn’t thought much of it before, but after listening to what they talked about in this concert, these choices seem much more purposeful than they appear.

And of course, “Three Piece!”, which to me felt very obviously like a celebration of everything that’s happened these past two years. It was the theme song for their first concert, the very start of the whole saga that this performance was closing up, which even now looking back at it, the fact that this entire project was even able to happen in the first place is just straight up unbelievable. I think that this one hit me as hard as it did because it marked the end of something that was lucky enough to be there every step of the way, it was something that I’m insanely happy to have been able to be a part of and to see through to its end.

I’m also extremely proud of the girls themselves, of course, for pushing forwards and upwards as far as they possibly could with this, and for how much they were able to accomplish because of it, as LaPri and individually, considering how much more each of them have been doing on their own in the past two years since the first LaPri live. At the very last drop of the song, the venue exploded with confetti and the crowd cheered super hard, and i don’t know why, but to me that moment in particular just absolutely filled me with joy, i don’t think that I’ve been as happy to have found out about them, to have donated to the CF, to have followed them throughout every step of this whole saga as I’ve been in that single moment. I just can’t put into words how immensely satisfying of an ending that was, like, they could’ve said that that was their last ever live performance and i would’ve been okay with it because it was such a high note to end things on.

Oh, yeah, and i haven’t even mentioned the second encore song yet.

“Chronologue”, the La Prière song, putting a bow on everything proper. I’ll admit that i wasn’t as emotional by the time it came around, since the first encore was so cute, and they talked for long enough after for me to pull myself together. This is a very special song in that the lyrics are by all three of them, and also I’m just now realizing that i made an oopsie because what this song is about is pretty much what I’ve discussed at length in the paragraphs above, so i kinda don’t have much else to say here...

The interesting thing about this song , though, highlighted in this performance, is how it and “Three Piece!” sort of play off of each other in their similarities, Tamu even joked how hard of a punch it was to end the concert with one and the encore with the other. “Three Piece!”, which was released later, is much more about looking ahead and wanting to do so much more moving forward, with verses like “There’s still much more to this story, and we’ll be together for it”. Meanwhile, “Chronologue”, which came before, is about looking back with pride on the path that one takes and being grateful for it, the titular verse of the song being “We’ve made it this far because you were here for us”. For this concert in particular, i feel like they were two different ways of expressing the same feeling, one in emotion, and one in the lyrics, which i think makes each of them a great ending in their own right.

And that’s that, the end of La Prière’s Splash the Tone tour, as well as the two year long crowdfunding campaign, it has been an absolutely insane ride and I’m so glad that i got to be a part of it. I hope that my painstakingly extensive rambling here encourages you to support your independent(-ish) utaites, i mean, who knows what other great projects are out there, waiting to be realized. Maybe it’ll be short lived, and maybe it won’t be the biggest most jaw-dropping thing in the world, but the fact that it was there, and that it happened, that alone makes it special, and speaking from experience, it is absolutely worth it to be there for something like that.

A little epilogue

It’s been almost a whole month and i still haven’t posted this freaking thing why am i like this.

I feel like i went through a whole character arc in those 3 months, in hindsight it’s pretty crazy how almost every one of these concerts had something in them that i needed to hear or think about, i honestly feel like i grew up a little lol.

All that aside, hopefully i can save up enough for this summer, since there’s gonna be a lot of stuff happening then too, though thankfully not as much as in these past few months (so far at least) so my bank account won’t cry as much. Sadly that means I’m gonna have to skip Albemuth’s live coming up this week, which sucks not only because I’ve been seriously into ADAM and their Christmas album, but i really wanted to see Aru off.

I’ll be paying attention to the live reports and Twitter so hopefully i can at least get a good grasp of how things went, but i just know I’m going to regret missing this opportunity, Albemuth really grew on me these past couple months and while i have accepted that there won’t be any more of them... there won’t be any more of them!!! And I’m gonna miss the very last of it!!! Can you see how that’s eating me alive!?

Also also, it’s M3 month!! So while things finally calmed down on the live side, i have new music on the horizon to look forward to in the meantime! The past 2 M3s have really been something for the artists i follow so I’m super excited to see what they’ve been cooking this time.

Anyways, uh, yeah, music good, girls who sing even more good, live concerts? Pshh, even gooder.

Cheers to all two of you reading this, i hope this year gets kinder to you and me both.

#natsume itsuki #aitsuki nakuru #hifumi inc #nayuta #la prière #utaite #zero types a lot

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quillyfied · 3 years ago

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Omenstuck Act 2 Bonus Content

Hello! Here’s just some extra bonus content from the pretty weighty upd8 I posted to my fanfic Omenstuck today (for Chapter 4: Act 2 specifically). A lot of background info went into it that I’m not going to get much occasion to use, so I’m doing what any self-respecting writer would do and dumping it here instead. Obviously has huge spoilers for Omenstuck so if you haven’t read the upd8s from today, don’t look. Hope the readmore holds on mobile, and there are some images below, too. Enjoy!

So for starters, I’m going to post the little cheat sheet that I had on hand for remembering all the characters’ assigned blood colors, Trollian handles, god tier titles, and quadrants (both filled and experimented with):

In order, here’s what we’ve got:

Crowley. Blood: burgundy. UN: anthomanicCaduceus. GT: Rogue of Life. Quadrants: Aziraphale (matesprit), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Hastur (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: snake

Eric. Blood: brown. UN: coneyCloning. GT: Heir of Time. Quadrants: Auspistice to Crowley and Hastur (unwitting); Uriel (auspistice between arguing Erics, short-lived). Lusus: rabbit

Beelzebub. Blood: yellow. UN: carrionTyrant. GT: Prince of Rage. Quadrants: Dagon (moirail), Gabriel (kismesis). Lusus: giant fly

Ligur. Blood: lime/red (vacillating glitch). UN: guanineChameleon. GT: Sylph of Space. Quadrants: Hastur (moirail), Michael (kismesis). Lusus: chameleon

Hastur. Blood: olive. UN: amphibiousGrunt. GT: Knight of Breath. Quadrants: Ligur (moirail), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Crowley (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: frog

Dagon. Blood: jade. UN: aquaticTaskmaster. GT: Witch of Mind. Quadrants: Beelzebub (moirail), Sandalphon (matesprit, short-lived), Metatron (kismesis, one-sided crush). Lusus: lungfish

Aziraphale. Blood: teal. UN: aetherialAntiquarian. GT: Thief of Doom. Quadrants: Crowley (matesprit), Michael (auspistice, coercing) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coercing). Lusus: ??? (dragon, owl?)

Michael. Blood: cerulean. UN: tenebrousAgent. GT: Seer of Void. Quadrants: Uriel (moirail), Aziraphale (one leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, co-conspirator), Ligur (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (tbh spider would still fit here)

Sandalphon. Blood: indigo. UN: toughenedCrusader. GT: Page of Blood. Quadrants: Michael (auspistice, co-conspirator) and Aziraphale (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced), Gabriel (moirail), Dagon (matesprit, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (Possibly musclebeast)

Uriel. Blood: purple. UN: celestialAureate. GT: Maid of Heart. Quadrants: Michael (moirail), Eric (mediated between two of his arguing selves, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (sea-goat still viable)

Gabriel. Blood: violet. UN: gregariousArchangel. GT: Bard of Hope. Quadrants: Sandalphon (moirail), Beelzebub (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (seahorse or shark)

Metatron. Blood: fuchsia. UN: communicantGodhead. GT: Mage of Light. Quadrants: object of one-sided pitch crush from Dagon. Lusus: Horrorterror from Beyond (Gl’bgol’yb, probably)

Here’s the shipping chart of what this madness looked like:

Solid lines for established or longer-lasting relationships, dotted lines for either crushes or experiments that didn’t pan out. Crowley, Eric, and Hastur’s auspisticism is dotted because it’s not a consciously-thought out relationship that’s actually been defined so much as a convenient social contract that keeps Hastur from killing Crowley by distracting him with a multitude of Erics, which makes it a pretty functional auspisticism, actually.

Some notes:

- If you’re thinking that the blood colors and god tier titles don’t exactly fit, you’re right, but there’s a reason, and we’ll get to it in future chapters of Omenstuck. Maybe one day I’ll do the thing proper and give them all more accurate classpects and blood colors, but I think I did pretty well, given everything.

- This means that it was Hastur and Ligur’s jobs, as the Knight and Space players, to breed the Genesis Frog, which creates each new universe, and that tickles me to the bone.

- Ligur’s whole situation is a nod to both Good Omens and to Homestuck; for a bit I entertained making Crowley the hemo-mutant that Karkat is, but thought he fit best lower on the totem pole (on his belly he shall crawl and all that). Canonically, Karkat’s bright red human-like blood is a mutation off of an old hemospectrum caste, the limebloods, and it tickled me to think of Ligur occupying both the limebloods and the red mutation that spawned from it, as a nod to his color-changing in Good Omens and his affiliation with chameleons. Also, apparently it’s the guanine in their skin that makes chameleons change color, which is what the G in Homestuck pesterchum handles stands for (bc the chats are all supposed to represent DNA strands that make up each Genesis Frog that creates each new universe), so it came together kinda perfectly. If Ligur ever was in a pesterlog, I was going to code it so his lines would alternate colors, but it didn’t pan out that way.

- Was it overly simplistic to cast Hell as the lowbloods and Heaven as the highbloods? Yes. But there are two reasons for this, one of which I can’t say because spoilers, one of which I will freely admit, which is that I got tired and just simplified where I could because I was already putting more effort into backstory that turned out to be less relevant than I thought once I finally got the dang thing written.

- In the bowels of my Instagram there is a doodle of Gabriel with the traditional Bardic codpiece and an expression to match, but I didn’t keep it in canon. It is definitely there in spirit and more loving detail will be paid attention to it if I ever go back and do a proper Homestuck troll AU.

- There was a subplot I discarded when thinking of the quadrant entanglements that involved Dagon hooking up with both Sandalphon and Michael in a redrom way and that being one of the catalysts for the bloodbath at the end, because I adore Dagon/Michael and wanted to go there first but she was already appearing so much, and I remember reading about Dagon/Sandalphon once in a fic I wish I could remember off the top of my head and it was so bizarre I adored it. Ultimately I stuck with Dagon and Sandalphon having a redrom fling, because why not.

- Dagon was also going to have a whole Thing against Metatron that boiled down to her having vestigial seadweller traits and being jealous of an actual seadweller that didn’t do his heritage credit, but Metatron was such a non-entity that it didn’t feel relevant to bring up, with so much already getting crammed into this upd8.

- Gabriel and Eridan have some eerie synergy and that’s a hill I’ll die on.

- Uriel was supposed to have a bigger part, too, delving into how they fit into the whole purpleblood Mirthful Messiahs cult and how they use their paint to emphasize their vitiligo (inspired by their canonical pretty gold face markings), but once again...not enough room, not enough interaction with Crowley or Aziraphale. They were either going to be a huge part of it, or eschew it entirely in favor of worshipping Metatron and possibly Metatron’s eldritch lusus instead, but eh. Roads untraveled. I also didn’t doodle their facepaint while I was doing my concept sketches/brainstorming activities so I just let it be.

- The whole Michael and Sandalphon using a heavily manipulative auspisticism to blackmail and control Aziraphale was a concept I had from the beginning, but when I wrote the scene, it actually shook me up a lot; Auspisticism is one of the platonic and weirder quadrants in Homestuck, but it didn’t hit me until I had written it how that particular dynamic could be exploited and turned into something kinda borderline abusive, if not outright abusive (I’m trying to be more careful in how I apply the word so I don’t know for sure if what I wrote counts as fully abusive, or just a super bad time). To be honest, in all the Homestuck fics that ever were, I don’t think I ever read a single one that described what I did in this fic (and RAPE MENTION TW a part of me that is forever struck by my friend’s fic that described a brutal pale rape, as in forcing the usual nonsexual markers of the pale quadrant on an unwilling victim, was worried that I had written ashen rape, which was NOT where I wanted to go; after worrying about it to friends and sleeping on it, I don’t think I quite went there, but the implication that it COULD happen is going to haunt me for a while).

- I did want to get more detailed with a lot of things, like Crowley and Aziraphale’s influencing and talking with humans, and how it was affecting things like their vocabulary and how they saw the world, but it was just too much to tackle in any great detail.

- the whole thing where Crowley uses his god tier powers to steal Life energy from his fellow stranded trolls and makes plants that could potentially feed them one day? Totally unexpected. I did a LOT of refreshing myself on the classes and aspects of god tiers when I was doing the groundwork for this part of the fic, but it didn’t strike me that that was a thing Crowley could do until I was already writing it. And maybe Aziraphale should’ve been a little more horrified by it, but Crowley’s right, they ARE immortal now. Also the whole “taking Life energy and redistributing it among allies” thing probably wasn’t meant to be interpreted as “puts the other trolls in the Mood for quadrant hookups” but it was too hilarious a coincidence to ignore. Life needs things to live, as a wise internet dnd player once said, and when you’re the last of your species, you’ve gotta do what you can to propagate (even if it’s functionally impossible to restore your species, since there’s no Mother Grub to donate slurry to and no ectobiological lab to make ectobabies from. God loves a trier). Does that make all the hookups dubious consent, since weird Life magic was involved? I don’t think so, I think it just accelerated what was already present, but I’ll leave that to y’all to judge.

- Crowley was actually supposed to be the one to die. It said so in my notes. It was a whole Thing, Crowley getting speared or shot or whatever and looking at Aziraphale like “ha I got this one better luck next time”. But then I made Aziraphale a Thief of Doom, which was originally a joke to myself about how he hoards books (Thief players are hoarders and Doom can represent rules or systems), and then he got all contemplative and hit ME back with “no, no, sister, you made me a Thief of Doom, I’m gonna steal this death meant for Crowley and keep it all to myself, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” And he was RIGHT. I can’t believe I’ve killed Aziraphale THREE TIMES now. And I completely forgot about how god tier players are also immortal from being killed unless the death is Heroic or Just until, again Aziraphale reminded me by pushing Crowley out of the way--therefore making his death to sacrifice himself for his friend and beloved Heroic. I played myself in every possible way. Checkmate, brain. (As for what that means in future chapters, stick around, it’s only gonna get weirder, but Homestucks who are puzzled at the inclusion of Dream Shards rather than Dream Bubbles are encouraged to draw some conclusions of their own.)

I think that’s all I wanted to talk about, so have a doodle of Michael with her Seer hood drawn for funsies.

See y’all later! Feel free to send me an ask or a comment or whatever if you have any questions or just wanna talk about this madness I’m creating!

#good omens #omenstuck #quilly writing #quillartist #quilly writing: director's cut #oof y'all i did so much weird work on this #feels good to have it all out there

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 5 years ago

Text

Episode 138: Kevin Party

“Did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?”

Remember Doug Out?

The 125th episode of Steven Universe is a small but very fun story about Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran, two best friends who work as a team to solve a mystery. Steven is already a teenager, and if Connie isn’t thirteen yet she’s awful close (she’s twelve and three quarters on Steven’s midsummer birthday, and school has been in session since Mindful Education), but this feels like a pair of children on an adventure. They’re chaperoned by Connie’s dad, they wear silly disguises and use sillier aliases, and they outright say that their goal is to “ruin some teen’s night.”

Doug Out ends in a cliffhanger, which leads directly to Steven’s abduction, which leads directly to Steven’s journey to and escape from Homeworld, which leads directly to the Breakup Arc, which ends here. That’s fourteen consecutive episodes telling one long story, which happens to be the same number of episodes between Catch and Release kicks off Peridot’s conversion and Hit the Diamond ends our barn adventure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Act II and Act III of Steven Universe have similar sweeping midpoint storylines: both see a radical change occur, and while our middle act’s is more obvious (two new Gems join our crew and Steven saves the dang planet), Act III has the more important development for Steven himself. Because at the beginning of its sweep, Steven and Connie are kids, and at the end, they’re teenagers.

Granted, I see anyone under the age of 25 as a “kid,” but Kevin Party is a distinctly adolescent episode. The Breakup Arc as a whole covers new ground that a typical kid’s show wouldn’t, and even the one episode without much angst for Steven is about a bunch of teens starting a band. But it’s a whole new step to set an episode at a high school party, complete with drinking (age-appropriate drinks, I’m sure) and no adult supervision.

After five episodes watching Steven either stressing about Connie or working his way through his guilt, it’s wonderful and devastating that when we finally see her again, she's having a blast. Her new look is one thing, but her effortless mingling with strangers is my favorite thing about Kevin Party. This isn’t a new aspect of her personality. She’s probably been like this for a while. But it’s the first time we’re seeing it, because it’s the first time Steven is seeing it.

In Bubble Buddies, Connie started out so shy that she feared dying without making a single friend, while Steven was so gregarious that he couldn’t help befriending everyone he met. Now he’s the awkward one, reduced to asking the likes of Kevin for advice, and she’s bloomed out of that social anxiety. And it’s not just a matter of her friendship with Steven changing her, even though that’s a major inciting incident: after he helps her come out of her shell, she’s able to practice interacting with peers on a regular basis in a scenario that’s way more helpful in understanding normal human interactions than anything in Steven’s life, because Connie goes to school.

There’s an unstated and uncomfortable truth that Connie needs Steven to have access to his magical world, creating an uneven power dynamic that’s easy to ignore because it fits into the general role of how a main character and side character work on a show like this. But Kevin Party‘s biggest reveal is that just because she needs him if she wants to have cosmic adventures, she doesn’t need him to have a fulfilling life, and she doesn’t need his friendship to be happy.

Thank. Goodness.

Codependency isn’t something to aspire to, and while Steven isn’t intentionally possessive of Connie (yet), their fight boils down to him treating her like a sidekick, someone who gets to do magic stuff with him under his terms. We don’t get to see what she was up to during the Breakup Arc, but I’m so glad her laughter here isn’t performative. She has enough self-worth to not define herself by the boy she likes or the adventures they share, and even if she’s upset that they’re in a fight, we know from our first look at her that she’d be okay if they never ended up reconciling. And that makes her choice to reconcile so much stronger than just shoving them back together because they’ve been apart long enough and the status quo demands it. She doesn’t need Steven in her life, but she wants him in her life, and that’s the difference between an episode about Connie remaining a sidekick in Steven’s mind and an episode about Connie establishing herself as an equal.

Steven and Connie’s affection has always bounced between platonic and romantic, and I love that even now we keep it ambiguous. Steven wears the shirt Connie got him in Steven’s Birthday, which is a gesture of friendship but occurs in an episode that dances around their mutual crush (complete with actual dancing). The moment of seeing each other again is shot like running into an ex, with time slowing down to let the absolute horror set in as the rest of the party fades, but Steven still refers to her only as his best friend. Kevin makes some of the subtext text through his confusion over the status of their relationship, but even if they’re teens now, these two are still young enough that don’t know how to express their deeper feelings.

Sadie Killer gets our guard down just long enough that Kevin Party’s new surge of drama hits like a truck: this is the original show’s most direct predecessor to the tone of Steven Universe Future’s latter half, where the anguish of watching Steven flounder in his relationship with Connie comes to a head. He makes the same mistake here that he’ll make in Together Forever: he’s so desperate for advice that he doesn’t question its source. Which is doubly frustrating because Greg Universe, who has told several stories on-screen about navigating a new relationship, is just a phone call away! I’m not saying I wish Steven actually called him, because all teens make mistakes and there’s any number of reasons he wouldn’t want to ask his dad in the moment, but it speaks to Steven’s inability to think straight when it comes to Connie.

In his final appearance, Kevin shows the closest thing he’s got to depth by helping Steven the only way he knows how. And unlike Beach City Drift, where he makes up a tragic backstory just to be a troll, it’s clear that the mysterious Sabine did a number on Delmarva’s biggest jerk. But I’ve got no patience for the notion that this episode is anything near redemptive for a guy whose idea of being helpful involves emotionally manipulating a vulnerable fourteen-year-old boy into emotionally manipulating a vulnerable thirteen-year-old girl.

Here more than ever, Kevin contrasts Steven’s self-destructive selflessness by being a black hole of self-importance. He only cares about Steven inasmuch as Steven can help him be more popular, not even bothering to ask for his name until it serves his needs. He’s so oblivious to his surroundings that he confuses Lion for a dog (saying that he’s allergic to dogs is a somewhat funny joke, but talking up Connie’s new life by saying she has a dog now is hilarious), and goes out of his way to antagonize his guests. To Steven, other people exist to be helped, which has noble roots but is catastrophic for his self-image. To Kevin, other people exist to admire Kevin.

“Psychopath” is a strong word, and I don’t wanna exaggerate Kevin’s villainy because that takes away from what makes him so insidious: unlike the Final Boss feel of the Diamonds, there’s an abundance of regular people who do the same awful stuff that Kevin does, and acting like he’s some extreme case detracts from the mundanity of everyday evils. Moreover, I remain unqualified to be an armchair psychologist, and the Hare Psychopathy Checklist has plenty of valid criticism, so take any diagnosis using it (or really any psych profile that involves a checklist you can do from home) with a grain of salt. But with all that said, I’ll just leave a link to it right here and let y’all do what you will with it.

The Big Talk gets five and a half episodes of buildup, and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s so perfect that Connie’s reaction to negging is to do what she always does when she sees someone behaving badly: she gets mad and calls it out. Steven’s typical approach to unkind behavior is to double down on his friendliness, but Connie will always put her foot down and demand kindness, whether you’re her best friend or a galactic tyrant. New hair aside, Connie isn’t the one that changes over the course of the Breakup Arc: it begins with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven ignores her, and it ends with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven listens.

I love that Connie requires no prompting to explain why she didn’t text Steven back, because Full Disclosure shows that she understands how much it hurts to try and connect with a friend who won’t respond. I love that she did go back to talk with him in person while he was on vacation (meaning all of this could’ve been worked through way sooner) because adolescence is suffering and we needed one last little twist of the knife in this arc. And I love that Steven is wise enough to just admit what he did instead of try and defend himself, because their whole fight hinged on his refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his actions, both to Connie and to himself. He doesn’t say the word “sorry” until the very end of his admission, because he means it and wants to provide context for the apology rather than just say “I’m sorry” a bunch.

And it’s so perfect that they don’t end up forming Stevonnie during their reconciliation, and not just because that would’ve given Kevin a win. They make up, but it still takes time to let the lingering pain go away, and it makes Stevonnie’s reappearance in our next episode way more meaningful. After one last display of their fundamental contrast—Steven expresses sympathy for Kevin’s situation with Sabine, while Connie shrugs it off because having a backstory doesn’t mean it’s okay to be a toxic douche—they leave the world of teen parties behind, at least for now. They’ll go back to more adventures right away, traveling to space in Lars of the Stars and Jungle Moon, but they’ll never truly be the same.

Thank goodness.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

I love that Stevonnie’s disdain for Kevin is here for us even when Stevonnie doesn’t show up in the episode.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not just the catharsis factor that gets this in my Top 25. Kevin Party is incredible at capturing the dread I associate with this type of teen party as someone who often felt like Steven as a kid (three traits that don’t work well with teen parties, even if like me you were a fairly social teenager: clinical depression, teetotalism due to the double whammy of that depression and family history of addiction, and having a bad ear that makes it impossible to hear people talk when the music gets loud enough). Beyond the personal connection, we also get one last look at the show’s greatest villain, and an episode that respects Connie so much more than a normal cartoon would. This is how you end an arc, folks.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Lars’s Head

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

6. Horror Club 5. Fusion Cuisine 4. House Guest 3. Onion Gang 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#kevin party #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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yume-fanfare · 4 years ago

Note

hi i am that anon from like 29th Dec (last dang year) who said i read ur tsuki no hime and loved it and that u understand Aizou. i have read more of ur stuff since then and now i NEED to ask you for writing advice, on both characterization and general writing tips since I didnt mention it before. Sorry about that! i just forgot i sent an ask and i do not get notifs at all (or does anon asks not get notifs?) Also, ART STUDENT! That's why the nice art and art leaning!! I feel smart for sensing it

oh yup, tumblr doesn't send notifs for anon asks! but i'm glad you did see the answer anyway

this post is hideously long, so answer under the cut!

so, on characterization: it is mostly a matter of what would they say, rather than what you want them to say. the joke about "the characters do what they want to" instead of what the writer wants is pretty much true if you want them to be in character lol (that's why sometimes a little bit of OoC isn't too bad)

checking the source material is the most important thing: look at prior similar interactions the characters have had and how they reacted

this is kind of hard with LIPxLIP, as there aren't that many translated texts about them but with honeyworks the most canon and reliable thing to use as reference are the mvs. the mvs are drawn in a way that can pretty much be understood even if you don't have the lyrics, and sometimes it's even better if you can't read them, to properly focus on the images better

look at their expressions closely: while aizou is always explosive in his anger, yuujirou often has a more indifferent expression. so, when they fight, aizou is probably the one to blow up first while yuujirou maintains his composure better. it's kind of the classic "this was only a brief passing panel but i am going to expand on it" www

but the thing about fanfiction is that it's always a bit of a character analysis in itself. you don't start writing having already a color-coded folder of possible situations and reactions a character would have for each setting. you just throw the characters in a scenario and then think from there onwards, and eventually you'll be able to have the folder of situations and what you think their reactions would be like. (though, this links back to the prior point, if the characters have gone through a similar situation in canon, use that as guide! plus, finding little references to canon when reading is always fun)

for general writing, i'm going to mostly talk about my own experiences and process! i'm in no way a professional though

the basic is reading a lot. not just books but also fanfic. in fact, since you're writing fanfic, i Encourage you to read fanfic. even if your story ends up novel length, the way of treating the story is different from that of an actual novel. for example, because you're working under the premise that everyone knows the characters already. the general style of fics is different as well.

in fact, the style is the main reason i'm saying this slfkslfkslkf

read a lot of stuff and find a style you like. think of it as sewing together pieces from here and there to make a frankenstein amalgamation: this person's metaphors, the comparisons from here, the descriptions from there

personally, i adore the "long one-shot with a long title formatted (like this)" fics that are mostly feelings and descriptions and as little dialogue as possible, and some that occasionally play with the "show don't tell" rule, and some months ago i read a book whose descriptions amazed me because you could feel what the character was focusing on the most, rather than being general descriptions of the situation (i actually have a lot of thoughts about descriptions but that's a post for another day). but also i really like dialogue and plot-driven stories, descriptions can get boring and before trying to break rules, you have to be really good at following them

but, let's go step by step: developing an idea

for this i'm going to mostly reference the multichap i finished a while ago as an example

i started with just a few vague concepts in mind: non-idol au with aizou who does some sport and likes music but is insecure about his singing and yuujirou who does some music related thing and encourages him to sing in a way that's somehow related to the hozier song to noisemaking (sing), because it's what inspired me to write in the first place

then, from then onwards i wrote down what would happen in the first chapter of the story bullet-point-list-style, including things like the roommates part or the clubs the boys were in (at first yuujirou was in the choir club lol the change was a last second decision that idk why i took) and then bits of dialogue here and there that would be The Turning Points. those first dialogues were for the fight at the end of ch 1, the apology-date in ch 3 and then some vaguely unused ones for the "yuujirou encourages aizou" part, as those were the first key moments i thought of

because, since it's enemies to friends to lovers, an important aspect was character development

not all fics have character development bc not all of them are long enough (if you're aiming for short and sweet then there's no need). but if they do, i recommend you write down how the character was at the beginning of the story and then how they were at the end and then fill in the middle later, think of what those key turning points that made the character change were (the more little things you add, the more gradual it'll be)

samishigariya illustrates this very nicely: the song starts and finishes with the same lines, but the ending ones feel more light-hearted. the beginning has pre-arisa ken and pre-getting-along-with-yuujirou aizou, when they were the lonely people the title mentioned, and the ending, when they're not lonely anymore. the in between can be seen in depth during the other songs: ken before arisa was a playboy who didn't take love seriously, but after meeting her he realized that games were not all there was to love; and aizou used to be quite cranky and high-key a loner, but then he "meets precious things and knows of love". i will not elaborate on that because this isn't an aiyuu post but Oh You Know

for the fic, aizou would go through that same process, more or less: someone who doesn't really form meaningful connections with people but who, in the end, would end up having quite a bunch of people who care about him as his relationship with yuujirou advances too

since the relationship was the main focus, i wrote a very simple outline for how it would develop throughout 5 hypothetical chapters that was just: 1. civil w each other but mostly bad > 2. bad > 3. half friends > 4. pining > 5. date

and then with that in mind and the bullet point list, the final basic outline ended up like this:

there were scraped ideas and ideas that made it in later, but i believe having a simple outline, a bare skeleton to add things to, is important. stories need continuity, development requires a prior buildup

it's especially important in multichapter fics where you post as you write, you need to have a more or less clear idea of what's going to happen because you can't ignore scenes you've already posted

shorter stories don't need it as much, you can think as you go, but it's still helpful to know where you're going with things to avoid getting stuck

and, on getting stuck: don't be afraid of deleting things. if you can't figure out how to continue things, then delete the situation and start again. it might feel like you'd be wasting time but in the end, it is so much better than being stuck on the same scene for weeks

in fact, you don't have to write in order. jump to the next scene and you'll figure it out later. you Can write the scene you want to write and then build everything else around it

it's normal to write a scene and then realize it would make more sense later in the story, or that it would be better if you added another scene earlier, or sometimes you just find it easier to jump from one part of the story to another. rely on your outline to keep track of what you've written, what you have left to write and what's the best way to arrange your story. make your story understandable

which bring us to editing

there's a lot of much better posts on editing stories, but yeah ctrl+f is your best friend: don't repeat yourself too much. and be sure to vary sentence and paragraph length, as well as sentence structure, to give dynamism to the writing

now, i've mentioned before the show, don't tell rule, but i'm going to talk a bit more about it because it's quite important

once again there's a lot of posts that explain more in depth what it is, so i'm not going to expand too much on that, but, very basically, try to avoid things like "then some time passed and they became friends". explain it: what happened exactly? how did they become friends? if it's important, show it to us, instead of summarizing

since things like these make the story longer, it also gives room for more development and proper explanation for things that happen

for example, the fic was originally going to start with them already in the room, and the whole situation would have been explained in a single paragraph somewhere, but by actually adding the scene where they first arrive to the dorms and argue with the lady at the main desk, the story flows better and it let me actually describe their first meeting

and uuuhhh i think that's all? this took super long to write i hope i didn't forget any super basic stuff lol

i want to add that for enemies to lovers i greatly recommend this post bc it's super good but yeah i think that's basically it, if you have any more specific questions just shoot me an ask

#god this is so long #how should i tag this #tutorials #i guess #anonymous #preguntas

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bearhatarmy · 4 years ago

Photo

I really really miss photography.

Photography feels like an old friend I’ve lost touch with. It pains me greatly that I just don’t have the energy or stamina to do it anymore. It really filled a creative void after I was unable to create my original comedy posts any longer. My illness keeps taking and taking from me and it is a challenge to find ways to adapt and cope.

The saddest part is that I felt like I was just starting to master photography as an art form. I was at that point where I could instinctively do all of the technical things and concentrate purely on the art. Lighting was becoming intuitive to me instead of a complicated puzzle I had to solve each time.

Yes, I took a lot of photos that I am really proud of. (Which I am spreading throughout this post).

But sometimes I mourn the photos I could have taken if my chronic illness hadn’t worsened.

It’s also hard seeing the new cameras and lights that have been released since I had to stop. I *just* missed a technological revolution. New features that would have allowed me to do more with less energy. To push the boundaries of my creativity. To get shots I could only dream of back then.

Full frame mirrorless cameras have opened up so many creative possibilities. The low light performance, the detail, the dynamic range--it has all been improved greatly in just a few years. But there are also many automated usability features that allow the camera to offload work and concentration from the brain. These new digital wonders can even be used as cinematic quality video cameras--something I would have liked to have explored.

I had to take these match photos in a pitch-black room, with a reversed lens, with no control over my aperture, and a manual flash. It took forever to time it properly because I had a whopping 3 frames per second. It would have been a cinch with a mirrorless camera, with super fast burst modes and an electronic viewfinder. You can see exactly what your image will look like before snapping it. But you can also “see in the dark” using a high ISO preview. Before you had to use a live view mode on the back screen. But on older cameras that mode was clunky and slow and... it just sucked.

Enlarge!

MOAR BIGGER!

Weirdly, one of the biggest advances is due to a shortened “flange distance” where the lens connects to the camera body. It seems like a small thing. Literally only a centimeter or so. But because of the lack of mirror, camera designers are able to move the lens closer to the sensor and design more advanced lenses with incredible sharpness. Combined with increased megapixel counts, that would have been amazing for my macro photos.

Electronic viewfinders take the guesswork out of exposure--even in bright sunlight where screens get washed out from glare. And being able to compose portraits with highly accurate eye-tracking autofocus would have been a tremendous advantage.

No more “focus and recompose.”

No more “Did I get the eye? Let me zoom to 100% on this tiny screen.”

I could have spent more of my concentration getting natural expressions from my subjects and composing my photos without distraction.

And IBIS!

I missed out on motherhecking IBIS!

This photo of my wonderful friend Erin was taken handheld at sunset. The original RAW version was extremely dark--even though I was using a high ISO. I had to do a ton of work to get this to not look like noisy garbage. But there just wasn’t any other way to capture it... UNTIL NOW.

IBIS (eye-bus/👀-🚌) or “in-body image stabilization,” allows the camera sensor to kind of... float. You can eliminate camera shake caused by the subtle micro-movements when handholding.

How do I explain it? Ummmm...

It turns the sensor into a chicken head.

So instead of increasing the ISO (which is like a volume knob for light which gets grainier as you crank it), you can lower your shutter speed. In the past, depending on the lens, 1/60th of a second was about as slow as you could set it. With IBIS, as long as the scene you are capturing is relatively still, you can take photos in very low light without a tripod. This is great because tripods are a pain in the ass and you can’t always have one handy. Plus, you can combine an IBIS camera with a stabilized lens to get a de-blurrification multiplier. Then you can get sharp handheld photos that are technically considered long exposure. I’ve heard people say they got sharp photos exposing at several seconds. Literally going from a fraction of a second to 2 goddamn Missisisppi. I can’t even quantify how many fantastic photos are being taken right now that would have been unusable blurry messes a few years ago. We get to enjoy these photos all because they installed a chicken head inside cameras.

AND DARN IT ALL TO HECK I HECKING MISSED IT, GOSH HECKING DANG IT!.

Sorry... didn’t mean to curse like a sailor that stubbed his toe while stepping on a Lego.

I think I’ll have a cool refreshing root beer to calm my IBIS envy.

(Those water droplets are a total fraud, by the way. It’s fake blood without the red added.)

And with the progress in battery and wireless technology, artificial lighting has become lighter and more portable while still being powerful enough to compete with the sun. I could have used strobe lights in my little studio, packed them up into a small case, and gone to the middle of the field to use them there.

Yes, I was able to convert my old studio lights to be “portable-ish” but we had to lug so much equipment to accomplish this photo of Brittany in the red dress. The battery pack alone weighed as much as one modern light. I was stuck in bed for a week afterward from all of the carrying of heavy gear.

Before that, this was my hacked together “outdoor” light. The Flash-O-Tron 3000. It looks cool but it was delicate and hard to get through doorways.

After charging 12 AA batteries overnight, I had to drag this contraption outside at the buttcrack of dawn to get my favorite photo of Otis.

I had to use a handheld mirror to reflect my popup flash in the direction of the Flash-O-Tron 3000 to trigger it. It worked about 25% of the time. Oh, and I was laying on cold wet grass, manually tracking Otis--who refused to sit still. I had to line up a single autofocus point on his head for every snap. The concentration required felt like my brain was juggling chainsaws.

But guess what they invented last year?

PET. EYE. AUTOFOCUS.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

A little robot inside the camera is all, “Hey, that’s your dog’s eye!” and just follows it no matter where your pup moves.

I NEEDED THAT SO BAD!

This shot took 10 minutes of me trying to lock onto his eye with a macro lens. The depth of field at that distance was the width of his eye and, again, he does not sit still.

I want a time machine so I can go back and retake every blurry Otis photo.

Also, many of the modern strobes have NO WIRES. You just stick a thing on top of your camera and you can set off lights several football fields away. My photo studio has tons of wires routed in the ceiling and coming out of the walls.

[Hi-Res Version]

And then those wires all go into a weird analog remote with old school sliders that controlled the power of the flashes. But the sliders were difficult to finely adjust.

Now you can load an app on your phone and adjust the flash power digitally and adjust the brightness in 10% increments. You can save lighting ratios and recall them instantly. And you can preview your work with high powered LED modeling lights so you don’t have to take 50 test shots.

No more nudging a light and taking a picture. Raising the power and taking a picture. Swapping out a modifier and taking a picture. Back and forth, back and forth.

Essentially, what you see is what you get, so setting up lighting takes a fraction of the time and effort with these new lights and cameras. That would have been so helpful with my disability.

Oh... the lights are less expensive too.

The future of camera tech looks exciting as well. I think the computational photography that is in the latest smartphones will soon be added to more professional cameras. That is going to make high-end photography so much more accessible to anyone who wants to try it as a hobby. The learning curve will flatten further, and as long as you are creative, you will be able to take beautiful, high-quality photos.

Some might say that not having all of the new tech helped me gain important experience, expertise, and problem-solving skills. Some believe the inconveniences are a photographer’s trial by fire. The struggle makes the art more authentic. And since I learned how to do it the hard way, my journey is more valid than some photography influencer on Instagram with an iPhone.

To that I say... BULLLLLSHEEIIIT.

Those inconveniences just made me SUPER DUPER TIRED.

And some of those influencers take really kickass photos. Not all of them are butts either.

I love photography but there is a reason I had to stop. Like anything, doing it well was a lot of work. I always ended up having to quit taking photos much sooner than I wanted. I had to scale back my ambition to fit my energy requirements. I could only do photography on days when my body was cooperating fully. I had to cancel many photoshoots because the preparation was just too much to handle. And after my bigger projects it took me forever to recover.

GIVE ME ALL THE CONVENIENCES PLEASE.

That “you have to struggle” attitude is no-good-gatekeepy-ableist crap.

Old photographer grumps are upset because they spent years learning how to focus manually on horseback and use the sunny 16 rule and develop film in a converted shed they built by hand and now “those darn kids” can use an iPhone on a skateboard while doing a kickflip with their eyes closed and still pull focus.

However, despite there being a lower barrier for entry, the technological improvements add new complications to the advanced side of things. So you can make photography as difficult as you desire if you are willing to learn new stuff. Which old school photo grumps are notoriously averse to.

This new tech has all kinds of novel things to discover and figure out. There is drone photography. There is advanced macro photography using robotic focusing rails and ever-improving focus stacking software. You can now network more lights together than ever before. Karl Taylor did a photoshoot with 12 lights! (Captain Picard would totally lose his shit.) Long lasting batteries and computerized sliders have created new timelapse possibilities. Stabilization software allows complex hyperlapse videos. Better low light performance and sharper lenses with big apertures combined with stacking or star trail software has improved astrophotography. Advances in material science have allowed darker and darker high quality neutral density filters for extreme long exposure photos. New focus tracking algorithms have allowed for wildlife photography that was never possible before. You can capture fast-moving birds in the sky from farther away and still get amazing detail. Faster burst modes allow people to capture split-second action. Never miss a good header at your kid's soccer games. (Is that a thing? I have no kids and don’t remember how to soccer.) IBIS allows photography without a tripod. So now people can trek to harder to reach areas, AT NIGHT, and take sharp photos with little noise. Increased dynamic range and new HDR displays will allow photographers to take images of lights and capture their actual intensity. What if the lights in photos could glow like they do in real life? Think about a neon sign at night in the rain reflecting in a puddle. That would look so neat.

Not to mention learning how to process photos in editing software is an entirely separate and challenging skillset you can master. There are thousands of techniques you can learn to elevate your images. Dodging & burning, frequency seperation, and compositing, oh my! Programs like Lightroom and Photoshop are constantly updated with new features that expand possibilities.

None of that is easy. It will all require diligent study and practice to master. Technical skills will always be an aspect of photography that anyone can pursue. But not everyone will need as much technical skill to start having fun and create art.

And much to the chagrin of those grumps... phones are perfectly viable to create that art and they will keep getting better.

You might find it odd that this love letter and goodbye to photography has so much talk of technical gadgetry. But, for me, it isn’t out of place in this sentimental essay. Technology was my first love. My parents bought me a 66mhz Packard Bell computer when I was 12 and technology was the first thing I was ever good at. I learned every function of that machine. I would sometimes break it just so I could learn how to fix it. I took it apart and put it back together. It was my first true obsessive hobby. I found my creativity soon after, and I immediately used that technology to help me create art. I wrote comedy. I learned how to digitally paint. I recorded music. And eventually I found photography. It was the perfect marriage of technology and art. I could nerd out as much as I want while still getting my creative fix.

So yeah... I miss it all.

I miss all of the technical nerdery. I miss trying out new gadgets. I miss editing the photos I’ve taken. I miss taking pictures of my beautiful friends. I miss taking pictures of weird products. I miss asking Delling to call apiaries to find me freshly dead bees so I can take macro shots of their fuzzy little torsos.

I really hope some day I find a treatment that gives me enough energy to take photos again.

Thankfully my writing helps me feel creative and productive and fulfilled. And it’s something I can do even if I’m not able to get out of bed. And I am grateful I have so many awesome people that actually want to read what I have to say.

So thanks to everyone for that.

I always find a way to move forward. That’s just the nature of surviving chronic illness. But glancing back at what I lost is a pain I never quite get used to.

Though, writing this has helped.

Looking back at all that I accomplished has helped.

And I do feel lucky I was able to accomplish what I did--even if missing it makes me sad sometimes.

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years ago

Text

The Mandalorian episode 8 reactions

Spoilers ahoy! In short I liked it a lot and now my brain is desperately trying to process it all haha

- thank god taika waititi knows I needed us to open on two unsympathetic comedy stormtroopers after all the stress last time. (in general this episode was very funny and it needed to be because dang mando is having a Bad Day in this one) that scene did such a good job of hilariously humanizing the stromtroopers but in a way that highlights what kind of people would stay with the empire even after the fall. they’re real breathing humans but they’re also baby-punching fascists and it’s not much of a loss to anyone that IG-11 goes to town on them

- ooooh cara is from alderaan!!! that explains just how deep her hatred for the empire is. (*me thinking wistfully about bail organa, the OG good dad of the star wars universe*) also I say this all the time but she is so cool and beautiful and important and the little ‘oh uh oops’ look she threw down at the baby after blowing that droid’s head of was p r i c e l e s s . too bad she’s staying on navarro while mando leaves :(

- FINALLY name confirmation! I’m going to have to go and fix the spelling for my fics and I don’t even care haha. also pedro pascal is so amazing at making his voice expressive jesus christ you can feel the weight of it just from the small pauses between his words (’mandalorian recruits’ = evil empire speech for ‘children’ I’m assuming so. augh)

- cara SHIELDING HIM WITH HER OWN BODY even though he’s literally still in full armor and her beautiful buff arms are completely unprotected *elmo surrounded in flames gif (ironically)* that might actually be more non-violent physical contact than mando’s had since he was a kid (lol but also ouch). there was something almost sibling-like in the way they huddled together, im hurt

- with that grilled flamethrower trooper baby yoda has officially committed his first unassisted murder! *drying proud tears* they grow up so... well obviously not fast in this case but you know what I mean

as usual the baby was a delight. I mean you know this I know this but it bears repeating basically forever

- you know what in one way it felt a bit too early but in another I really like how they showed mando’s face. I think it’s because that reveal isn’t witnessed by any other characters except IG-11 (who is best boy <3 but also there in the role of a medical practitioner and audience stand-in so it doesn’t count in the metaphor lol) -- it’s entirely meant for us, the audience. the whole season really has been a long journey towards specificity in his character; we open up with him being a faceless, nameless and damn near wordless figure, and then they’ve let us closer and closer to him until... now we have his name and his face both and that probably means we know him better than the vast majority of the characters in the show (which is admittedly not saying much haha). it still leaves a LOT of potential in the interpersonal dynamics within the series, but does something interesting for our view of him (and sets up an interesting possibility for a sort of tension between the two as well maybe?).

it feels weird and too intimate but I think that’s exactly what it’s supposed to do. I’d actually been trying to put this into words before this episode -- I didn’t feel able to write fic for this show until episode 7; before that taking on his POV felt... invasive, almost? awkward? but now it feels like the show has reached a place where we get close enough that it’s starting to be possible. he’s having to become more and more real (because he has a baby he loves and who needs him now and he can’t just dissociate anymore haha)

there’s also something really beautiful if fragile in how it plays out like... for this one moment he needs to allow himself to be made vulnerable (by a droid, no less) and through that act of tremendous courage, even though it confuses and pains him, choose to live. after all he was completely free to shoot IG-11 the whole time and he didn’t. I. Hm. mhm. im trying to figure out what I mean give me a few days to write fiction about it and maybe I’ll get it lol

- the way mando disappeared into himself/seemed to be just... resigned to it all was uh. awful! absolutely awful.

thank GOD all these people around him straight up refused to let him die, at a few points it was almost a feeling of ‘SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A GRENADE TO THROW MYSELF ON I’M NOT READY TO BE FULLY ALIVE AGAIN BUT I’LL HAVE TO BE BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE ONE TO BE A DAD FOR’ (at a few points where it’d be natural if he was triggered he instead seems to want to give the child to someone he thinks is more suited and then a) fight (and probably die but y’know at least he’d get to shoot someone) or b) at least stay with and honor the dead. oof)

- very rude of mando to make a grave for kuiil when he’s not even dead tbh. how unlike our main boy in the helmet to be impolite like that, I’m surprised

(I had so desperately hoped IG-11 at least would survive as a sort of legacy -- a testament to his skill and kindness and wisdom :( )

- I KNEW nothing would get the armorer in her own damn forge :D:D:D she is so incredibly cool and I love her. the way she stands there unshaken despite everything like a pillar of what their culture actually is at the core. and also when she’s like ‘well of course this is your son’ and the camera cuts to baby yoda as if to say ‘as I keep telling you dad’

the mirror of her immovable upright certainty and mando on his knees in front of the pile of dead people’s armor -- an image which makes it feel like this is not the first time he’s been there, right?

mando not enthused at the idea of evil sorcerers tho lol I foresee some trickiness in your future my boy

- of ALL the funny references they had to make sad it had to be the self destruct D: I’ve always had a lot of feelings about droids in star wars so I’m probably going to have to process this a bit. also “I’m not sad” oh honey

- I have only a very vague knowledge about the darksaber (I couldn’t get into rebels sadly despite my love for clone wars), but I do understand that it’s taking the nazi gold comparison they’ve got going on with the beskar and dialing it up to 11, that’s apparently a Big Deal. they’ve done such a good job with gideon in setting up a bad guy who works on several levels -- he wants the thing that’s most important to mando today for what’s implied to be Not very great reasons, he’s a physical reminder of the cultural and personal trauma this series is looking at, and as a remnant of the fallen Empire he’s doing a lot of work as the specter of this sort of lawless unsettled in-between age. good stuff!

- greef karga earned himself a big place in my heart in this one. you might be sketchier than my understanding of horse anatomy, greef, but I love you nonetheless haha. when he starts to drink nervously while they’re trying to get out of the bar & when he’s immediately doing the sales pitch on Navarro once the blaster fire dies down fdkslhfkas. and that “Or maybe he’ll take care of you” shows that there is some real concern and friendship there and it’s so sweet.

- mando carrying the baby like he was carried safely and with love by the mandalorian in the flashback............ damn dude. and he’s an official full time dad now what a time to be alive

- obligatory flamethrower report: do I even need to say it, mando’s flame thrower. must I point out how badly you have been shown up. honestly this has just been embarrassing for us all let us speak no more of it

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian episode 8

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miraculouscontent · 6 years ago

Note

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you didn't like Onichan.

lol I wasn’t aware I had snarky anons. :3

My reaction to both episodes that aired was a hard meh. I mean, they were basically what I expected. I knew about Kagami’s salt over Lila due to the leaks and I have unfortunate experience with family-centric plots, so I knew how Bakerix was going to turn out.

Knowing about the plots themselves don’t inherently make them bad episodes, of course, but Onichan and Bakerix don’t provide a lot for me.

I feel like “Bakerix” needed a few more laughs. It spends a lot of time with this grandfather character who spends 90% of his screentime shouting. I mean, I suppose if that’s funny to someone, the that’s great for them, but for me, it’s just a grouchy old man that I’ve been given no reason to care about. It’s like… he’s family, so what? I don’t see why him being family means he deserves anything. Heck, we don’t even see how Tom is affected by his father not being around; Sabine just brings it up.

By the way, why do both of Tom’s parents dislike him (or, well, Gina favors Sabine at least)? I know I criticize Tom a lot but still, dang.

Maybe it was supposed to show that Marinette’s family isn’t all sunshine and rainbows (not that I thought that in the first place), but I feel like the grandfather thing could’ve been mentioned in passing, like if it was an episode about Sabine’s father and Marinette asked about Tom’s father at some point. I’m not against the idea of a “bad relative,” but if they’re supposedly worth redeeming, I need a reason to like them aside from blood relations.

Anyway, point being, if Marinette’s grandfather is too stubborn to listen to reason and would rather live out the rest of his life alongside the three not-blind mice, that’s his business.

As for “Onichan,” I feel like it needed more structure and focus. I appreciate that it established what Kagami did with the rose and that Gabriel is considering Adrien’s relationship with Lila (I actually guessed that would happen eventually so that was something), but I think it gets bogged down by the fact that it’s spilling a lot onto its audience. Akumatization episodes try to have focus on the characters being akumatized (with very few exceptions, such as “Sandboy”), but Kagami can’t be afforded that attention because the episode is busy with the “Marinette following Lila and Adrien” plot.

And without the Marinette’s side of the plot, I feel like this would feel a lot more fresh, but since the episode spends time having Marinette chase after them and try to sneak in, it means less time on Kagami and less time developing the Adrimi dynamic.

I’m not going to compare it to “Silencer” because I don’t feel like that’s fair. “Onichan” threw a lot more into its episode than “Silencer.” For one, we have Lila added into the mix. For two, unlike “Silencer” where we hardly needed at all, “Onichan” needed Marinette since she’s the main-est main character.

The fact that it didn’t balance these things despite the obvious reasons for an audience to compare it to “Silencer” though? Yeah, that’s definitely something to critique.

For example, Marinette didn’t need to follow Adrien and Lila. She needed to be tied into the plot, yes, but not to waste time with stuff we’ve already seen her do.

That’s where Kagami comes in, because in the episode, Kagami is just kinda mentioned and then just shows up when the plot needs her. We also get a very brief interaction with Tomoe to show that she’s strict (we could’ve already guessed that, but okay, I’ll keep it in mind anyway).

So, here’s my pitch…

Kagami gets a tear in her red fencing uniform. We are relayed this information in the episode itself as Adrien’s phone goes off right at the end of class. We see Kagami’s contact icon, a few messages (presumably explaining the situation) then an image of the tear in question to show the severity.

Adrien considers this (as Lila is trying to peek at Adrien’s phone), then glances over to his side. Lila thinks that he’s going to speak to her at first and opens her mouth to greet him, but then Adrien calls out to Marinette.

Marinette (who was talking to Alya at the time) is surprised to be addressed, but rushes over to his side. Adrien shows her the picture and, in a hushed and begging tone, asks if it’s possible for her to fix Kagami’s outfit.

Marinette is at least happy that Adrien thinks highly of her sewing skills, but a little put off that he’s talking about Kagami in front of her.

As Marinette begins to ask why she has to do it (just because it seems weird for a rich girl like Kagami to need someone who isn’t a professional), Lila cuts in and starts rambling to Adrien as she does in the episode, wanting to go to Adrien’s house with him.

As Lila starts leading Adrien outside, Adrien gives Marinette a glance. Marinette, both knowing that they haven’t finished their conversation and that Lila around Adrien is a solid nope, follows them out to the limo. Lila gets inside (much to Marinette’s surprise), and when Adrien looks back at Marinette, he points sheepishly to his phone to remind her of Kagami’s uniform.

Marinette hesitates, staring at Lila in the limo. She doesn’t trust Lila around Adrien.

…But, Adrien also asked her to do something important.

With a smile, Marinette nods her head. Adrien, obviously very grateful for that, smiles back and gets into the limo alongside Lila. He’s seen typing on his phone (presumably texting Kagami back) just before Gorilla closes the door.

As the limo is driven away, Marinette takes one last look at it before racing back to the bakery.

Time passes, with Marinette talking to Tikki and wondering why she did this because Kagami probably hates her and–

The conversation is cut off as Sabine shouts up that Marinette has a visitor. Marinette calls back to tell Sabine to just send them up to her room.

Enter Kagami, and Marinette notices immediately that Kagami’s demeanor is… different.

Kagami’s steely gaze is shaken; anxious. She avoids Marinette’s gaze, but it’s obvious that something’s wrong.

Trying to be considerate, Marinette just gestures to the uniform in Kagami’s hand.

Kagami glances at Marinette, then walks over and hands it over with care.

Marinette inspects the uniform, observing the tear for a few seconds, then realizes that Kagami hasn’t sat down yet. She offers to let Kagami sit on her chaise, but Kagami insists that she’s fine.

The atmosphere is a little tense and awkward, but Marinette goes to work. Seeing how Kagami’s eyes are practically glued to the uniform, Marinette supposes that it must be important.

Cut to Lila and Adrien arriving at Gabriel’s mansion and everything continuing roughly as it did in the episode.

Return to Marinette and Kagami, the latter of whom is still awkwardly standing beside Marinette. Curious on the matter of the uniform, Marinette asks why Kagami doesn’t get a professional to fix it.

Kagami replies, a little too quickly, that… no! She can’t!

A pause.

Kagami collects herself, reluctantly explaining that her uniform is special and thus, her mother would be furious to know that she was “reckless” enough to let it happen.

Marinette is a little put off by that as a future fashion designer, observing that the uniform, while clearly given care, can’t hold up forever. Honestly, she doesn’t think any type of clothing can. A little wear is natural and things happen.

Kagami looks surprised that Marinette just tried to make her feel better, but makes no comment.

Marinette continues work on the uniform, though does get a bit discouraged and brings up that Adrien can probably relate to Kagami’s problem.

Kagami asks if Marinette has some sort of motive for mentioning that, to which Marinette insists that she has none; Adrien and Kagami just have a lot in common (as much as it pains her to admit it).

Then, we get the important piece of the Adrimi puzzle, as Kagami eases into talking about Adrien and why she is pursuing him, filling in the gap between “Riposte” and “Frozer” with interactions they’d had. This allows Marinette and Kagami to understand each other and know that neither have any ill intent with Adrien; Kagami even shows Marinette the pressed rose and Marinette shows Kagami the Lucky Charm that Adrien made for her.

As Kagami nears the end of her story (still holding the rose in her hands), she mentions the ice rink in “Frozer.” Marinette flashes back to that time, recalling Adrien holding the door for Kagami as Kagami got inside her limo, then flashes to Adrien watching Lila get into his limo, as it happened not too long ago.

Marinette asked what Kagami thinks of Lila, since Lila tries to be around Adrien often so surely Kagami must’ve met Lila at some point?

Kagami responds that, no, she doesn’t know anyone by that name, then questions what that girl has to do with Adrien.

Marinette looks hesitant to tell, as talking to anyone about Lila never seems to go well, but now Kagami seems set on hearing.

Marinette begins, but the scene cuts back to Lila in Adrien’s room, essentially showing roughly what Marinette would tell Kagami about as Lila lies, invades space without asking, and then gets “fake evidence” to prove a claim she’s made (I know Lila is bad about that last one but we all know that she should be doing this).

As Lila sends out the picture of her kissing Adrien’s cheek, the scene cuts back to Marinette and Kagami.

Kagami is sitting down on Marinette’s chaise, looking more like she belongs in Marinette’s room and isn’t so nervous anymore.

However, now she’s annoyed. Her grip tightens on the rose she’s holding. She tells Marinette that, if Marinette is speaking the truth, then Kagami is furious that such a lying, evil girl exists.

Marinette is honestly shocked to have someone on her side–and for it to be Kagami of all people–but she isn’t complaining.

Then, just as Marinette is about to tell Kagami that the uniform has been patched, their phones go off.

They see the picture. Kagami is now fuming.

Before Marinette can explain, Kagami already assures that she’s aware that Lila is deceiving people. Why else would she just send this picture to everyone except to brag?

Kagami isn’t mad because Adrien is hers or Lila is trying to steal Adrien. No, Kagami is mad because Lila is using Adrien.

Hawk Moth sends out an akuma. Akuma flies into Marinette’s room. Marinette tries to stop it by swatting it away and remaining calm, but it manages to land on the pressed rose that Kagami’s holding.

Cue Onichan.

The rest of the episode plays out mostly as normal, though with time tweaks here and there to make up for any lost/added time from the changed scenes.

By the end, Adrien still scolds Lila, but Kagami shows up to greet Adrien at the door. Marinette and Alya are walking towards the doorway at the time, and manage to see Kagami taking Adrien away from Lila, insisting that they have important business to attend to.

She shoots a smug glance at Lila then a fond glance at Marinette. She walks away alongside Adrien while Lila just stands there, stunned.

Alya is entirely confused, asking Marinette what happened and why Marinette isn’t concerned about Kagami being near Adrien when Marinette freaks out when it’s Lila. Like, what happened to Adrien being “in danger?”

With a smile, Marinette simply says that her and Kagami had a heart-to-heart and she knows Kagami has a good head on her shoulders. She starts to add on something else, but stops herself upon realizing that she’s talking to Alya, who wouldn’t understand. Brushing off the comment, Marinette instead starts heading back home. On her way, she gives a glance back at Lila, who’s walking in the other direction, clearly irritated that Kagami just swept up Adrien and took him away like that.

Oh yeah, that was definitely worth it.

#((lol I feel like all my adjustments centering around Kagami episodes involve Marinette in someway and them working past the rivalry.))#category: critique #category: long post #word count: over 2000 #MC's Adjustments #adjustment: plotlines #episode: Bakerix #episode: Onichan #other: ask and answer

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inkdrinkershadowsinger · 5 years ago

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Thoughts/Background Prisoner of Azkaban

First all, let me state that without Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that we would not have had a franchise. We would have had three movies then done. One hundred percent. This movie changed everything from the sharpness that was lacking in the first two, to the creative that stayed pretty true throughout the rest of the series. This made it less wholesome and sweet like One and Two, and channeled just everything into a solid direction that was edgy and new.

No magic outside of school. No wonder the ministry is watching his ass.

I’ve heard that this scene is supposed to represent Harry masturbating, and if that is true, then we sure have gone in a new direction.

No wonder he can’t sleep Vernon, you keep busting into his room every night.

The first two movies, I felt like Harry was rather young looking, but in this one, Harry and all of the others really grow up, and may I say, “Glowed up” as well.

Just look at the sharpness and clarity in this movie. It was filmed wwith a different camera entirely.

Marge is a bitch. I hate her guts. Umbridge is the number one villain, then her, then Voldemort.

Harry thinks he wins, and then he can spell some shit about to pop off.

And since Harry is a Gryffindor, he cannot keep his mouth shut when this horrible woman is insulting his parents.

And Harry has probably heard even at school that his mother just because of her blood wasn’t as good as anyone else, and to have that compounded when this horrible turnip comes to stay was probably way too much for him.

Dudley couldn’t care less. Petunia is very concerned that this is going to ruin her dinner.

See how Harry runs!!! He’s like, “Time to go.”

I love that we get this shot of Lily and James dancing in nearly every movie.

Try me, bitch.

Marge is floating away into the night sky. I would hate to be the person who had to fly up and get her down to be obliviated.

It looks like he is near a park, is the park that is adjacent to the one that Harry is in at the beginning of Ootp?

SIRIUS!!!!!!

Stan is amazing. He just states the obvious in the funniest of ways. If there wasn’t such an age difference with the suspected death eater activity, him and Luna would have been cute.

What does that red sign say above Stan’s head on the bus? It looks like it says, Black Pepper Impi???? I’m sure about the Black Pepper, but I’m not sure about the last or the first word.

Stan says the most iconic thing her, “Don’t you tell me that you’ve never been hearin’ of Sirius Black.” Stan’s incredulity is amazing here because every knows about Sirius. And everyone should, dang beautiful man.

Tom sure transformed for this movie.

I love that he would have a car out front. You could activate the alarm to keep Muggles who got to close to run off.

It looks like that quill is dictating what the minister is saying. He is most likely making a formal decree as he is telling Harry that everything is all well and good and he is getting off with a little slap on the wrist.

Sirius Black. This is one of the best names in literature. It is just perfect. It could be corny and ordinary but it is perfect.

I love that from the windows of the Leaky you can see both Diagon and also the Muggle world. It is a nice meeting point.

You know the shopkeeper was selling what, a hundred of these monster books, and no one thought to tell any of them how to open them without getting ripped up?

I love all the details in this movie. The guy stirring his drink with his hand, the maid here. I love it all. This movie is very detailed oriented.

The only known shot of who is probably the hottest Weasley brother, if not figuratively then definitely literally.

There is art on the walls of the Leaky, but none of them seem to be moving.

The person in the background is carring like 70 plates as they wobble above their head.

The tea is pouring itself.

Let me just tell you that perhaps you may actually get murdered this year, but no big deal, just keep your nose down. This seems to be such a British sort of thing, like keep your head down, and nothing bad will happen.

I hate those wanted posters because they look like they were taken upon intake, and Sirius has just lost everything, and the loss and angry and desperation portrayed here really messes me up. Like I know that they aren’t real people, but dang, those emotions are real.

Percy in the background here. I never noticed him before.

They all look so grown up. My gosh.

Lupin!

You can always count on Ron to tell the truth.

That bottle of water right there by Lupin’s head. I take it two ways. One, that’s legit all Lupin could probably afford on this trip. And two, it would be a good way for him to keep his face hidden, but see inside of it to see whose reflections are present so he can know who took the compartment with him. I also headcanon, that this is after a full moon night which is why he is a bit lethargic.

The reason that Harry passed out, and no others did was because the dementors were feeding off of him. They took at least three pulls from Harry, but not anyone else.

If you have any questions about whether Hogwarts curriculum is up to snuff just look at any movie. These kids should get a crash course in all the crap that could kill them immediately so that they are aware. I wonder what the accidental death rate is at Hogwarts?

The chorus!!! I know that this was an add in from the director, but I love it, and it should remain canon. I also like they copied it, though with a more nefarious sound during Half Blood Prince.

“Something wicked this way comes!”

Snape claps like three times.

Why would they seat him next to Snape in the first place? Dumbledore is a shit stirrer, and completely planned that.

Draco is a punk bitch. But at this point, you can just see that it is teasing more than anything nefarious. He’s a little bully.

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light. This is one of the most iconic quotes of the series.

Everyone is watching the Fat Lady perform. I love that they brought her to life more, but kept that sassy attitude.

This scene is pure gold. It brought a lot of needed MAGIC to this movie about magic.

I love that Hogwarts is this super prestigious campus with bridges and fountains.

The way that the Womping Wilow is used to portray time is amazing.

She has all of the tea cups stacked behind her. Are those from an earlier class that need to be washed?

This whole film was shot using VIVID from Iphone.

Everyone behind her just leans into see what new stuff Harry Potter is going to get up to this year.

Ron, get some glasses, that clearly looks like a fucking dog. Dang.

Ron is keeping track of his girl. It took them too long to get together.

I don’t care what anyone says about Hagrid as a teacher this lesson was amazing.

Some things are just so second nature to Hagrid. It is proof that different types of intelligence are ral.

When your friends are that choreographed to mock your enemies, like that is some commitment. I stan the Slytherins a bit for this.

In the books, Harry actually steps up for Hagrid instead of being volunteered by everyone else.

Drapple, part one.

That girl behind Ron and Hermione looks to be about twenty seven years old. Someone got into Hogwarts from this reality, and I am pissed that it wasn’t me.

Just the scope and grandeur of Hogwarts, and the grounds really just gets me.

Malfoy is such a whiner. But I assume that he isn’t quite used to pain, any pain really.

The ghosts, also, in this movie are way more dynamic then the ghosts in the previous films.

You really get a sense, a subtle one, of blossoming emotions between members of the opposite sex.

I never noticed that there are hands holding Sirius for this mug shot. It looks to be at least two people that are physically restraining him for this shot.

Lupin calls on Neville of all people, and I am obsessed with him forever because of this. It is popular fanon that the Marauders knew Frank and Alice. It would make sense that Lupin had heard something about Neville from the rest of the teachers, and decided to help bolster this child of his friends.

That image is seared into Neville’s mind.

Can a boggart touch people? I made a headcanon about that, but it would be nice to see what you all think.

I would have really liked to have sseen Hermione’s boggart. I know that the boggart scene in Fantastic Beasts left a few people underwhelmed, but I wonder if Hermione’s would have been just as tame.

McGonagall is authoritative. The perfect teacher balance.

I wonder how hard it was for Remus to stand on this bridge with Harry. I wonder what instance he is talking about here. Lily was there for him when no one else was? When? What instance? This is why we need more information about the Marauders era, and why I did a thing. If you want the thing, message me.

Is it weird that I’m a bit thirsty for head boy Percy’s voice?

She said the same thing to Sirius when he was a student. “Eyes like the devil.” But she probably didn’t mind as much then. We all know Sirius is smoking hot. Have you seen that Tumblr posts where Harry Potter series is ranked based on how attractive Sirius is described?

This might be the most beautiful that the ceiling of the Great Hall gets.

Snape knows how to assert dominance even as a substitute.

That projector is amazing looking.

I love that their school books in DADA are separated by creatures who sleep at night verses the day.

Malfoy isn’t even using that sling.

Hogwart’s professors do not give extra time on assignments okay, unless you are litearlly dead. If Harry had rolled up in there as a ghost, Snape would still be like, “Where is my essay?”

Is that supposed to be Cedric?

Why is Harry actually seeing the Grim though? Who is sending him these signs? How? Why?

That was a long way to fall.

We only see Dumbledore use his wand on a handful of occasions. Harry, the boy who will save them all, is literally falling out of the sky, and he still doesn’t use it.

You can see the Hufflepuffs in the background. I wonder who they were visiting. Madam Pomfrey probably can’t go one match without having a room full of patients afterward.

Fred Weasley looking fine.

The music here is amazing and soothing.

I imagine that kids swim out to that little island all the time during the warmer months.

Another reason Harry is not in Ravenclaw: It took him at least three Hogsmeade weekends to figure out that he could use his cloak to get there unseen.

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs = My boys

I love when Fred and George speak in unison.

It looks like they make their own candy at the bottom of the shop.

Harry just took Neville’s lollipop though he can’t eat it as he walks down the street because it is on the outside of the cloak.

Hermione who grew up in the Muggle world instantly knows that it is Harry. Ron, who grew up in the wizarding world legit thought that it could have been ghosts from the Shrieking Shack.

Harry is someone who values loyalty above all else. It is why he eventually stands up for Neville and Luna because they were there for him at one point in time. To know that Sirius, the person who was his father’s best friend betrayed him is something that would have made Harry feel physically ill. It would be something that he wouldn’t entirely be able to process, and as a teenage boy, his feelings resulted in this show of anger and frustration.

Everything in this movie is visually stunning, and really sets the tone for the other films.

I wonder what Remus is thinking about in this situation. Is he wondering just why Harry doesn’t have many memories that he can draw on? Is he wondering what his life has been like? What his life would have been like if Lily and James had lived and thinking that he would have had all the happy memories in the world if they had?

You can see the instruments tracking the heavenly patterns.

So, does a Boggart take on all of the traits that the creature it is mimicking? If it takes the shape of a lethifold can it kill you? If it takes the shape of a dementor can it suck out your soul for real? What are the limitations?

And a train set? Does Remus have a thing for trains?

I wish that we would have got some more emotion here from Remus. Harry is giving all of himself here, and Remus is just quietly taking it all in.

Crookshanks in the house.

I love Hagrid’s outfit here.

Best Ron/Harry interaction. You kick those tape dance wearing spiders arses, Ronald Weasley.

In the previous two films we have those lights that blaze with fire like motion activated flames, but this hallway is dark and dank for dramatic effect.

At this point, Harry doesn’t believe in the maps infallibility so it would make sense that he doesn’t really go to anyone and explain what he say on the map. Also, how would he know that someone wouldn’t take it from him? He would have seen this as his only way to get to Hogsmeade with his friends, and he wouldn’t have wanted to give that up for anything.

The Marauders were some of the most intelligent students that have ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. They charmed this piece of parchment in what fifth year? They mapped almost the entire school, found several secret passageways, and helped out their friend in one of the most epic ways possible. I love them. (Peter found most of the passageways in his animagus form)

Read: Charming James Potter was one charming mother f-er. BET.

One of the only times Harry was pleased to read in front of a teacher.

Lupin to the rescue.

Snape is not subtle. It’s no wonder Hermione figured it out. Legit half of the Slytherins know, but they are so tired of having subpar defense teachers that they just go on with their business as usual.

I really wanted to see some more emotion on Lupin’s face. I want to see some subtly in the way that he looks at Harry or the way that he plays a scene. I want to see some longing for his lost friends or his friends son. I wanted to see more. I love this character, but I think it could have had more nuance.

Even the amazement at hearing Peter’s name is sort of dulled here. Idk.

Hermione is one hundred percent the person who cheats at board games, and who wrecked the board when she lost as a little girl. Only child syndrome.

This is the most visually pleasing classroom. You can see Sirius’ face in the crystal ball.

And does Harry tell anyone about this prophecy? Nope. No. Not anyone important.

Draco is instantly afraid because he knows that Hermione is a bad bitch. Also, he might be terrified because he knows how easy it is for people to lose control of their wands.

The Stonehenge like structures here are so interesting to me. They reach to the Heavens, they are in a circular pattern. If you’ll notice in movie 5, the chamber that the trial is in looks like it was built on top of an older chamber. It just makes everything feel as if the new is breeding from these old ancestral power lines or something of that nature, and I just love that idea.

Hagrid is the most responsible adult in this movie. Dumbledore and McGonagall are like, “Yeah, go ahead and meddle with time, no worries.” Hagrid is like, “Don’t worry about me and my feelings about Buckbeak, just get out of here, and be safe heading back to the castle.”

You have to think that even though Sirius spent 12 years in Azkaban that Peter’s time as a rat was never really all that perfect either. Being covered in bugs, constantly on the floor, people don’t really care for you, people who forget to feed you, 7 children all wanting your attention and pulling at you being the only pet that can’t fly in a house full of kids.

I always thought that was a very distinctive stone for Hermione to find and throw.

The time loop here always confused me.

The most awkward hug ever captured on film…no, wait....lol

When you are as blind as Harry James and I, losing your glasses means that you can’t see shit. You can’t see anything but swatches of color.

The Womping Willow has not forgotten that Harry and Ron threw a car into her. And she ain’t going to forget anytime soon.

“If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us too.” Loyalty, my friends. Absolutely crazy, we’re going to get sliced up by an escaped criminal loyalty, but loyalty none the less.

Sirius has spent twelve years in Azkaban, but is still a ten. I just read that Buzzfeed list about which HP characters had the most BDE, and I was not surprised to see Sirius Black on the list. Also, Professor McGonagall, who honestly should have held the top spot.

Lupin flirting from the word, “Go.”

Lupin has dealt with manic Sirius before. Several times.

“I did my waiting twelve years of it… in Azkaban!!!” Is one of the most iconic lines ever.

I had not yet read the books when this movie came out, and I remember be literally so surprised. “The rat is a man?? WTF?”

Snape, here, believes up to this point that Sirius is the reason that Voldemort was able to find Lily in the first place. He believes that Sirius is the reason that the only person Snape ever really cared about is dead. If Snape was a Gryffindor he would have went for the immediate gratification of AK’ing Sirius, but instead, Snape is a true Slytherin and that means that he is vicious, he wants to make sure the revenge is as bad as it can be. In that vein, he wants to let the dementors suck out Sirius’ soul. He wants Sirius to feel like he has felt all the years, like a body with no soul. Lifeless. Death, Snape would think, would be too easy for someone who had taken so much away from him.

Remus is like, “Okay, no, no negotiating or touching Severus at all, gotcha.”

Sirius is goading Snape even at wand point. You want to think that this is the Black family madness or Azkaban insanity, but it is just Sirius being a cocky bastard, overestimating himself and underestimating his opponents.

Sirius and Remus argued like this all the time. Snape gets the old married couple vibe, and honestly, me too.

This is how the Marauders argued. All standing, pacing the room is various shades of annoyance with one another, wishing the other would shut up, shouting “reason”, casting spells, Peter crawling under furniture to avoid said spells, aggressive politeness, “We do not say, “Shut up!””

I would kill Pettigrew for the insipid voice of his.

Why would Dumbledore put a piano in the shrieking shack in the first place.

This is one place where Remus shows some nuance. He wants to kill Peter, intensely. He only stalls and reluctantly at that, because Harry says something.

Sirius looking at the castle and saying that one day he wishes that one day he could walk inside as a free man fucks me up. Hogwarts to Sirius must represent the reverse of everything that Azkaban did. The two places that Sirius spent most of his life. The happiest and the unhappiest memories that he has. The place where he had his friends and then the place where he only had their memories.

I hate this. They all just gradually glance at the moon like something has gone wrong. Like they are calling attention to some fun little oddity.

I wonder how many times Sirius tried to talk to Remus in the form of a wolf. Did he really think that it was possible to call back Remus from the wolf? Had they tried that before? Did it work?

Snape still tries to protect the kids even after they stunned him. Snape has a pathological fear of werewolves, and yet, he stands in its way.

I feel like if Remus was honest with everyone, Dumbledore and Harry that he could have told Harry that meeting up with Sirius and James and Peter in their animagus form while he was the wolf and that they kept him from hurting people would have given Harry more confidence in Sirius’ ability to handle Remus and he wouldn’t have run off with him in the first place. Sirius might never have gotten caught. They all might have made it back to the castle. I don’t know. Honesty is the best policy.

What is that little ball of light that floats out and then in of Harry’s mouth? What is that? Is that supposed to represent his soul? Because Sirius’s soul would be blazing red, yellow, and orange.

The way Dumbledore says, “Scabbers”, like he legit thinks that Ron’s rat could have had a hand in the trouble.

Me and Ron are the same. Dumbledore is just so cheery about the prospect of these two kids going back in time to SAVE LIVES. They aren’t going to the store to get milk, Dumbledore, this is serious business.

Buckbeak is living his best life.

Harry really wants to believe that his dad conjured this Patronus. He has just seen Sirius who isn’t a mass murderer at all, but someone who loves him intensely. He thinks that he is going to get away from the Dursleys. He just blasted the teacher that he hates. He has literally just gone back in time to help save his friends and catch the real bad guy. I mean, why wouldn’t he even consider the possibility that his dad could have somehow cast the Patronus? For Harry, it would seem at least possible if not probable.

I hate when Harry says, “He will come.” Harry is someone who has always only been able to depend upon himself, but in this moment, he thinks that he can depend on someone else to come to his rescue. I know that he finds his own empowerment here, and is able to cast a super strong charm to help get himself and Sirius out of trouble, but he, once again, had to stand up and take care of things himself.

The explanation that he gives on how he casts the patronus doesn’t make sense to me either, Hermione, don’t worry. Time loops are tricky business.

Sirius is down for this ride. Don’t tell me he never played Quidditch. I will fight you. He mocked James for it at first, but then was just as fanatical.

The way that Sirius holds Harry’s face just messes me up. It is like he is trying to memorize every detail in his face.

Remus moved so many small personal objects into this office. It gives you the feel that he really thought that he might be able to stay, and I hate that he was forced out. He is using a cane the night after the full because it was so rough.

The twins are beautiful mischief makers and I love them. I wish we had more of them in these films, but they are sprinkled in wonderfully.

Even Percy has to see this broom in action.

This was the best end for this film because while Harry didn’t get freedom from the Dursley’s he did get some fun which is what godfather’s are for, right?

The art for this film is out of its mind. It is creative and wonderful, and really takes you inside of the theme for this movie. I love it, and even the credits draw you further in to this universe. This is one film that makes all the others better just because it exists.

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter thoughts #prisoner of azkaban #Movie thoughts #Harry Potter analysis

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ghosty-schnibibit · 5 years ago

Text

i a m d e s t r a u g h t

i legit did not even think this ep would come out today and i spent the last hour relistening to the last one to make up for the fact that i meant to relisten to the whole arc this week. oh well! time to be emotionally destroyed!

oooooh no, i am so worried about all the clips griffin chose for the previously one

don't die duck, please don't die my favorite boy

yes! minerva my love!!!

duck what are you doing

"follow the light" what the fuck duck newton

DUCK IT IS CHARGING AT YOU

spontaneous monster death

"i'm going to beef city!" ilu justin

YES IT DOES MATTER DON'T KILL MY FAVORITE BOY

oh damn that's not good

... so is minerva going to see him basically sacrifice beacon to get to leo? fuck, how is she going to take that???

please someone animate this, p l e a s e

nope, the jet pack is still ford angela-ing around in the woods

did leo bring the jet pack??? oh dang i guess leo brought the jet pack

"you don't know what else could be in there" that sounds like dm speak for there's some good shit in the truck

please let this not be a repeat of merle talking to john and getting five sevens in a row

oh nice! cool! back up weapon!

f l o r e s c e n t g o r r o

"what's with these five's dog?" what did i just say

how many luck points is duck down to now? i'm assuming more than aubrey but i think less than ned

"extremely, exquisitely dead" jesus griffin

♪♫♬ i can show you the world ♪♫♬

god i love you justin mcelroy

n o r t h

oh fuck, that ain't good

what are you doing minerva???

she's making a connection back to her home planet!!!

at least we don't have to worry about a shot-the-fake-ned scenario anymore lmao

jake my baby boy ilu so much

aubrey sounds so worried

oh now i'm worried griffin

oh no, oh no, this is very very bad

aubrey don't you sacrifice yourself, i can feel that’s the direction this is going, don’t you do it

NICE! GO AUBREY :D

and we're worried about every one of them trav

okay sweet, less worried about aubrey dying now

well this is extremely, extremely bad, holy fuck

aww eugine :(

OH YEAH, AGENT STERN

oh no, oh pigeon :(((

i am... extremely terrified

god i fucking love you aubrey

damn trav go off

DO! NOT! BURN! THAT! LUCK!

i figured that's how that would go, yikes

having never seen twin peaks i don't know that dynamic :|

"y'know what, no?" ilu aubrey

... oh shit, is stern going to be on their side???

never mind, goddamn this ep is breaking so bad, holy shit

mama ilu so much

oh shit i forgot about that!!!

YES DO THAT AUBREY, AT LEAST TELL VINCENT

god bless ilu

"oh shit, ned may have been right" that's terrifying in its own right lol

god damn the music is so good this ep

that's some cool imagery

it was a number of episodes lol

i think ned has grown on me a lot more as episodes have gone on, i really want him to succeed in a way i didn't in previous episodes

that's a great mental image

NED WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????

CLINT WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WHAT IS YOUR STRATEGY HERE

"HERE'S THE THING-" I SURE HOPE THERE’S A THING NED

it was you larry

NED THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK

bless you clint holy shit

okay, at least they got the hornets on their side

eugine no D:

ilu barclay

okay at least mama is being somewhat sensible about this

"I'M A STEALIN' GUY, OKAY!?" ilu ned

oh no not the abomination music

OH GOD WHAT THE FLYING FUCK

YOU CAN'T JUST CLIFF HANGER IT THERE GRIFFIN

i don't even like ritz crackers griffin

holy shit there's still more than an hour left to this episode, fuck

i just took a minute during the ad read to read the description and... oh fucking boy am i worried about every single character but especially ned. i'm pretty sure the deadly risk for aubrey was pulling the wood out of her leg but i'm worried that it might not be, and “confession” sounds a little too much like last rites for my comfort :(((((

MINERVA :D

"tone and definition are important duck newton!" bless

i love you so much minerva

justin is just absolutely fucked this episode, holy shit

oh poor duck :(

aww minerva :')

"TIME TO CLIMB IDIOT" ilu duck

YES! YES! GO DUCK! :DDDDD

i'm gonna google that, oh hell yeah that's sweet as hell

god i fucking love minerva so much

"i have missed your tutelage" bless you duck my sweet boy

oh the beat is picking up this is so good

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SCENE DUCK

YES! YES!!! YEEEEES!!!!!

THIS MUSIC IS SO BANGING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!!!!!

"well that's the thing-" oh no

jesus griffin you did not need to put that much malice into the word “squeezes”

NICE! he's got some of his chosen mojo back! :D

i am so worried for duck holy shit

THIS WAS THE LIGHT FROM HIS VISION

THIS MUSIC IS SO FUCKING GOOD

AND THEN SHE LEAPS, AND SHE'S HERE

MINERVA!!!!!!!!!!

... that's the quell isn't it

oh this is extremely not good, oh christ they're all going to get massacred

oh no were they... is this a mass exodus from sylvain??? oh my god no

AUBREY PLEASE ASK WHAT'S GOING ON

i'm legit listening to this while there's a thunderstorm in the background, nice ambiance

why are they vanishing??? what mission?????

OH NO I AM SO WORRIED I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GOING TO TRY

did he say weeks early? oh my god this is even worse than i thought

yes!!! go vincent!!!!!

"alright" GRIFFIN I AM WORRIED

YES YES YES YES YES, THANK GOD FOR THOSE GOOD GOOD TRAVIS MCELROY ROLLS

I CALLED IT, WE ALL CALLED IT, IT'S A PART OF THE CRYSTAL

... oh no does she not have magic anymore

AUBREY I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH

dang, that's not great

... oh no, this has to do with the book doesn't it

YES YOU SHOULD VINCENT

this music is so gorgeous oh my god

"i do???" mood clint

alright, fair enough roll

"what ever's inside this thing is also in danger" it's dani isn't it

NED NO, NED YOU DIPSHIT

"are you threatening this sarcophagus?" ilu griffin

alright, not a bad move

ned's going to shoot it, ned's going to kill it and it's going to be dani, this is so very very bad oh my god

IT'S FUCKING DANI!!!!! WE ALL CALLED IT IT'S DANI!!!!!!!!!!

...oh no. oh no oh no oh no. they're going to kill her aren't they

"what do you do?" griffin i am so scared and this music isn't helping

MAYBE BURN A LUCK HERE NED

oh my god this music is killing me griffin

oh my god is... is ned dead???

oh ned :'(

i'm trying so hard not to cry right now and failing so hard

clint you are destroying me here

with love, edmund kelly chicane

oh my god pigeon killed him, oh god

i... i do not know how to feel. i feel heartbroken, on a level i can't describe. i always... in the back of my mind, i always hoped all the pcs would make it to the end, even though i didn't always like everything they did. i always thought they would pull through. but this... it was heartbreaking. and it was beautiful. and it was redemptive. and it fit into the narrative arc of ned's character and his life so well. ned was my least favorite of the core three, but now... he's a fictional character and i feel bad for not appreciating him while he was here. and its a testament to the power of clint's acting, and griffin's writing, and the entire mcelroy family's ability to suck me so deep into a narrative that i feel like i'll be grieving ned chicane for the next week or two at least. there's still about 23 minutes left and i don't know how i'm going to make it though any of them.

... oh god that's why the sarcophagus fell apart isn't it

the level of jocularity implies to me that they filmed this long before clint's scene and i'm still so upset, duck and aubrey still don't know yet

what is this place? oh my god what is this???

god this music is so pretty

is this... the quell???

what on earth is this, i have no idea what is happening

OH NO THE MUSIC IS WARPING THIS IS SO BAD

oh thank god leo didn't die at least

that is not in any way comforting minerva

we are at 15 minutes left and i am... so terrified

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

aubrey my baby ; _ ;

oh god the gate is going to open isn't it

what's happening???

this music is so beautiful and i am so afraid of it

OH MY GOD WHAT

JANELLE

god damn this is so powerful god damn

arms outstreached

OH NO, THIS IS SO BAD, OH NO

I WAS NOT EXPECTING JANELLE TO HAVE A LUCRETIA-ESQUE SORT-OF HEEL TURN THIS IS NOT GREAT

OH NO THIS IS HORRIBLE HOLY SHIT, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO

travis you're being a bit nonchalant about this don't you think

oh my god no please tell me aubrey isn't going to die too

YOU CANNOT END IT THERE GRIFFIN MCELROY

... see you all june 13th, holy fucking shit

#taz #taz amnesty #taz spoilers #the adventure zone #ghosty liveblogs taz #i have... so many emotions #so many #and no where to put them #except in these liveblogs #now on to the tags to suffer with the rest of the fandom

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gwydionae · 6 years ago

Note

I know it's a day later, but in light of recent anime events, how about Reigen Arataka for the character thing? :D

“In light of recent events” yeah ok sure you can put it that way I guess hahahahaaaaaa…………………….. *gross sobbing* (Seriously though thank you Rosy I don’t mind it’s a “day late” XD)

What I like about them

I will hit on “deeper” stuff in the next section, but, honestly? I really just like that he’s there for Mob. He’s not always great at it, but he tries, and you can really believe that this guy cares about this kid and wants him to grow into a good person. I have ALWAYS loved his type of dynamic, and Reigen and Mob fit my (non-romantic) fictional relationship preferences to a T.

That and he’s hilarious, and the animators have way too much fun with him, and I’m not even talking about them “thirsting” over him or whatever, I just mean going overboard with the hand motions, expressions, body language, etc. XD

What I dislike about them

Oddly enough, I actually really didn’t like Reigen at first. The earliest episodes in the anime did a good job at showing him as the world at large would see him: just a fraud using a kid for his own gain. But over time we got to see more of the other sides of him, and by the end of season 1, I had completely changed my mind. Is he still a fraud that can underappreciate those around him due to having an ego built up in order to help him deal with his actual insecurities…

But I don’t dislike this about him anymore. In fact, I actually enjoy it because every character needs flaws, and, even better, these are flaws he is now actually trying to work on. So, all that to say that I’m not sure there’s anything I really dislike about him, because even the parts I disliked initially - and still don’t approve of - are things that make him a better, more rounded character. And I think that’s great.

Favourite moment

Oh gosh, this is hard because my favorite moment of the series does involve him, but in a way it’s more about Mob’s response to it so that seems like maybe I should pick something more specific to Reigen but… ah, screw it, it’s the end of episode 7 in season 2. XD

If two entire episodes counted as a “moment” I would choose s02e06 and e07, but that’s not really how this works, so of course I’m going to go with the part where Reigen asks Mob if he “knows”, and when Mob says that he’s a good person, he literally looks like he’s holding back happy/relieved tears. And it gets me. Every time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched that one scene, lol. It’s so good, man.

Runners up include:

- Telling Mob near the end of season 1 and he doesn’t have to fight, he’s the one who will suffer in the end, and it’s ok to run.

- Following that up by being freaking awesome and SLAYING those Claw dudes both psychically and verbally.

- That scene in season 2 where Mob is panicking because he doesn’t want to exorcise the ghost family and Reigen realizes this and steps in and just fakes the whole thing in order to take the pressure off of Mob without turning the clients against him.

- Reigen noticing that Mob is “fidgeting” at work, but when he realizes what he’s actually doing, he literally drops everything and is all “let’s go running right now” and puts, like, everything into helping Mob get better, like, I know this scene was just given to us in the most recent episode but I feel so blessed??

Least favourite moment

This may sound like a weird one to pick (especially with the whole “grow up already” scene in play), but my least favorite is probably when he pretends to hold a seance. I mean, it’s funny, sure, but… you know how I talked about the fact that I like his flaws now? This one very specific instance is a case where I really can’t defend him. He knows he’s not a psychic. He knows he can’t actually speak to the dead. And Mob either can’t or won’t do it as he’s sitting right there while this is going on. So… this is literally one of those times where Reigen straight up scams somebody. Not cool, man.

(As for the scene where he’s a huge jerk to Mob? I actually really like that scene because while it’s awful it really does fit his character perfectly, and he seriously needed to hear the back talk from Mob to kickstart his growth. So that’s a “love to hate it” thing, lol.)

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

I want to see this grown man have actual friends, dang it!! Mob (and now maybe Ritsu and Hanazawa) is great, but get this guy someone his own age to talk to! I want to see what he’s like with an actual peer that he likes, not just an apprentice or a blind follower! (Dimple only kind of counts at this point, much as I love him. XD)

An interesting AU for this character

I don’t even know if this counts, but I want a Mob Psycho musical. I want a Reigen dance number, dang it. Dimple can have a villain song about wanting to lead a world wide cult. I need to see the Body Improvement Club training as a dance sequence where they sing about positive body image and loving yourself and working hard. Mob can’t dance for crap but has a surprisingly amazing singing voice, but he pretty much only sings when he’s alone. Yeah. I’ll go with that. XD

A crossover

One of these is more serious than the other. You decide.

1.) My Hero Academia - Reigen somehow manages to become a quirkless hero (despite next to no one knowing this fact) and a teacher at UA. Mob is of course in class 1-A, lol.

2.) Naruto - Reigen is the true founder of Talk no Jutsu.

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

None

Other ships?

Nope

BROTP

Reigen and Mob

NOTP

Reigen and Mob

An assortment of headcanons!

Do my thoughts on why he has an ego because he’s insecure count as a headcanon, or is that just an accepted truth?

Of course after the latest episode I am now headcanoning that Reigen starts running every day after realizing how out of shape he was and also a desire to try something that Mob is actively invested in (body improvement).

Ah, see? This was fun. Mob Psycho can be fun. When it’s not, ya know, preying on some of my worst fears, anyway. Ah yes. Good times. XD

>Make me talk about characters and why i love them

#mob psycho 100 #spoilers #reigen arataka #thanks rosy XD

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morningsound15 · 6 years ago

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How do you think Beca would handle her fame in perdition? We know all the gossip magazines like to make up stuff about celebrity couples and that talk show hosts and interviewers like to prod, do you reckon Beca would be open about her relationship with Chloe bc that’s something she’s wanted for so long, and therefore would scream from the rooftops that she’s in love with Chloe Beale and that she’s hers?

i know this wasn’t your intention anon but congratulations you got a drabble i just wrote in like 3 hours:

(P.S. If you love Stevie as much as I do, PLEASE watch this video of her singing “Wild Heart” while getting her makeup done for a Rolling Stone photo session. It will change your life.)

[COVER STORY]: Beca Mitchell on Her Newest Album, Coming Out & Finding Love. “I’m bisexual, and I’m proud of it.”By Sydney Havershaw

You probably wouldn’t recognize Beca Mitchell if she walked past you on the street. Her personal style is more ‘early-20’s grunge rock enthusiast’ than ‘Grammy Award-winning musician.’ She’s dressed comfortably for our interview — in a pair of skinny jeans, combat boots, and an oversized flannel shirt. Mitchell seems perpetually youthful, and among the crowd of college students around us, she fits right in. At 5’2”, she is also certainly an unassuming figure on the street. “I’m basically a hobbit,” she jokes early in our interview, when situation demands we perch on a set of barstools while we wait for our lunch table. Mitchell’s feet dang comically off the floor, and she swings them absent-mindedly while we get to know each other.

The restaurant where we meet is a tiny hole-in-the-wall Italian bistro — the space is so small it can barely fit 6 tables and the mini-bar it confusingly insists on forcing into the already-crowded room — but it’s a favorite of Mitchell’s (who made me adamantly swear to reveal neither the name nor location of her personal haunt). The little building is charming and rustic and somehow both out-of-place and perfectly nestled within its surroundings. The atmosphere is exquisite. I find myself nearly anxious to grab my pen and begin scribbling down notes.

There’s something easy about being around Mitchell. She has this awkward energy that makes her seem jumpy but also strangely endearing. She’s quick to crack jokes and put herself down for the benefit of the group dynamic. Though her proclivity to make fun of herself is startling at first, her wit and sincerity ultimately triumph, becoming the adjectives which immediately come to mind whenever her name is mentioned in my presence thereafter. Before we even order our food she’s had me in stitches twice, both times with stories about some of her more raucous adventures with her all-female college acapella group, The Barden Bellas (more on them later). She’s an excellent storyteller, if not excellently verbose, and I cannot wait to see what she might have in store for our interview.

It’s a bright afternoon in early March, with clear skies and only the barest hint of a chill in the air. It’s beautiful, and the subtle feeling of spring is beginning to emerge in outfit choices, store inventory, and menu changes. But while most people tend to feel energized and rejuvenated with the promise of new beginnings, Mitchell is still practically reeling from the relative whirlwind of the previous month. She won a Grammy, came out, and started a new relationship — and that was all just in one day!

“I feel like everything changed overnight. I went from being, like, a club DJ to now, I’m at the point where people literally stop me on the street for pictures.” She laughs and shakes her head, like she can’t quite believe it. “It’s been completely nuts.”

For those who may be unaware: after a very public Grammys acceptance speech earlier this year, Mitchell was caught locking-lips with her date, Chloe. [Note: While their relationship is not a secret, and the identity of Mitchell’s partner can be easily found, Mitchell requested we leave Chloe’s last name out of this article for the sake of her privacy.]

Almost immediately, Mitchell’s name-recognition sky-rocketed. The image of the kiss circulated countless gossip websites, made headlines in newspapers around the country, and became a trending topic on Twitter. Videos of the night played on nearly every morning talk show. Mitchell’s social media following almost tripled overnight. Suddenly, and without warning, Mitchell has found herself at the center of a media blitz caused by her very public — and incredibly adorable (link) — public coming out. Seriously, if you haven’t seen the video of her acceptance speech yet (have you been living under a rock?) go watch it right now. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, you’ll squeal, you’ll fall in love.

[image]

Pictured: Beca Mitchell [left] and partner kissing on the red carpet.

Since we both know where this interview is eventually headed (it would be impossible not to talk about it at some point), I figure I should ask: does she want to talk about her relationship first?

She shrugs, her leg bouncing under the table. “I don’t know. No? The… I always think of myself as an artist, first. And my personal life is my personal life. But, you guys are, like… the gay magazine. I can’t imagine it won’t come up.”

Her confidence from earlier has all-but vanished. Perhaps because her music carries with it the easy, confident maturity of an artist with twice her experience, it’s easy to forget she’s still new at this. In order to put her at ease, I start off with a few softball questions, things to get her excited and make her more comfortable with where our interview is going.

Her favorite musician growing up? She smiles, looking much less anxious. “I think this probably is gonna hurt my rep, but I gotta go with Stevie.”

“Nicks?” I ask. This is surprising to me, though perhaps it shouldn’t be. While Mitchell’s music is pretty reliably ‘Pop’, it also shows evidence of clear influence from eclectic styles of music, including jazz and alternative.

“Absolutely. She was my childhood crush. And like, she’s totally everything that I want to be, as a musician. First time I listened to the album Rumours I thought, ‘God, that’s just about the most tragic thing I’ve ever heard.’ It’s the story of a relationship falling apart, the dissolution of a marriage, about cheating and heartbreak and mistrust. But it’s also about optimism, and joy. And… well, to me, it’s also about love. And I used to sit there and listen to that album and think, ‘That’s what I want. If I can produce a piece of music even half as emotional, half as complete, I’ll be happy.’ My entire life, all I’ve ever wanted is just one great love story to tell.”

She’s passionate when talking about her music. She seems energized and excited, like she’s thrilled that anyone at all is interested in her music in any capacity. Because it seems like her preferred topic of discussion, I keep asking her questions about her most recent work. Her favorite song on the album? “Oh, that one’s easy,” she says. “Gotta be ‘Saudade’.”

Saudade is a Portuguese word that roughly translates to a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia. It is a word closely associated with Brazilian music and Brazilian culture. Its most famous usage in pop culture comes from the famous Antônio Carlos Jobim Bossa Nova song “Chega de Saudade” (the published English version is titled “No More Blues”). Mitchell uses the chord changes of Jobim’s chart as the basis for her own melody. This is a common musical practice amongst jazz composers (similar to what ’sampling’ is to Hip Hop and R&B artists), but much less prevalent in Mitchell’s more Pop-dominated genre.

“Saudade” is an early stand-out on Mitchell’s album. It’s a melancholy affair, with a Latin/Bossa drum feel that immediately conjures images of warm summer nights. And to round out the nostalgia of the instrumentals, the song’s lyrics are almost as haunting as the vocal work. Cynthia-Rose Adams, one of the album’s main featured artists, manages to evoke a quiet, unendurable kind of heartbreak while still keeping her performance subtle and subdued. The piece is more than a little impressive. It truly is a masterclass in sad, mournful, longing ballads, and puts more popular efforts by artists like Adele completely to shame. If it isn’t on every teenage girl’s “breakup playlist” by the end of the year, I would be shocked.

But when asked about her preference for that song, Mitchell’s response is less-confident than the quickness of her earlier answer would imply. “I work with a lot of really incredible musicians. My friend, Cynthia-Rose [Adams], who actually provides vocals for that track, she’s a trained jazz vocalist. She’s listed as a co-writer for that song because it’s really all because of her that it has any kind of melody. I showed her a bunch of lyrics really early on, back when I was still work-shopping, and she was in the room with me when I was writing the first draft. But, God, it was terrible.” She laughs again (always willing to joke at her own expense). “No, for real, it was… horrible. So cliché and dumb. But Cynthia just kind of on a whim suggested we try to craft a love ballad using the chord changes of Chega, and I listened to it one time and then it’s like I couldn’t stop writing. It all just poured out of me. The music tied to the lyrics and back again. It’s like the song always existed, and I just was the first person to hear it and write it down.” She pauses, as if she’s only just realizing how long she’s been speaking. “But really,” she says quickly, “without the performance Cynthia puts out on that track, it just… I couldn’t have done it with any other singer. I’m so grateful for her.”

This is a common feature of our interview. Mitchell is almost reluctant to take sole credit for her own music. At every turn she’s thanking her vocalists, her sound engineers, and her co-producers. It belies the incredible amount of time and energy and dedication she put into crafting this album. Anyone who works with Mitchell will also be sure to note both her work ethic and her unyielding attention to detail. Talking to her, you might think a great many things about her character, but ‘immodest’ would certainly not be one of them.

When I ask how she met her collaborators — specifically Adams and Emily Junk, the album’s other featured vocalist — Mitchell grins wider than she has all afternoon. The ease immediately returns to her body. She relaxes in her chair, lounging back with her legs crossed over the knee. She seems like any other 20-something again. You never would guess that, a few short weeks ago, she was a trending topic on Twitter.

“I met Cynthia and Emily in college. They were in the same acapella group I was in.” She’s talking about the Barden Bellas, the nationally-ranked all-female acapella group out of Barden University, a small liberal arts college just outside Atlanta, Georgia. Mitchell was the captain of the group for 3 years, and led the Bellas to two national championships and one world title. “We were really just a bunch of misfits,” she says when I prod her for more information. “And, y’know, being a group of only women, it’s actually pretty hard to make a name for yourself in the acapella world. The best groups are either mixed or all-male. And we’re a very diverse group, and most of us don’t necessarily fit with conventional beauty standards. So I’m just really proud we were able to break through, make an impact, and show people what a group of badass, powerful ladies can do.”

Does she keep in contact with her old group? “Oh, of course, we talk on the daily. I mean, the Bellas gave me everything. They’re my family. I truly don’t know where I’d be without them.”

But now, it’s time to address the elephant in the room. I almost want to apologize to her, though I know it’s completely unnecessary. She has made it apparent that she is comfortable answering personal questions, and has previously specified to me that she is open and completely willing to talk about her own coming out experience. But even though I know she’s agreed to this line of questioning, that’s still just the kind of person she is: she makes you want to look out for her, to keep her safe. She’s so shockingly sincere, so non-malicious, that to do anything to harm her in any way seems tantamount to blasphemy.

Almost like she can sense a shift in the air between us, Mitchell sets her shoulders. I ask her if she’s nervous about coming out. “Not at all,” she answers quickly. “I’ve been ‘out’ for pretty much my whole life. Sexuality has never been a problem for me. I’ve never talked about it before because, honestly — and I know this sounds cheesy and cliché, but I really do mean it — it’s just never come up. It’s been such a non-issue for so long. And I guess I figured it would become common knowledge sooner or later. I just never anticipated, the, um…”

“Going viral?”

She flushes. “Yeah. Never saw that one coming.”

Becoming an overnight sensation by going public with a relationship is an experience that is difficult to replicate or understand, if you haven’t been through it. I ask Beca how she feels about the sudden influx and attention she’s been receiving.

“I don’t mind the attention,” she says honestly. “It can get pretty scary sometimes, but it’s not like I have paparazzi lurking around my apartment or anything, so I feel like I got off pretty easy. I mean I don’t like the attention, but, y’know… sales have gone up, at least,” she jokes, somewhat half-heartedly.

And about her new internet celebrity status (there are dozens and dozens of Tumblr pages devoted to her alone) as an out, queer female musician?

“I mean, I hope we’re moving into a time when, like, it doesn’t matter who anybody dates?” she says, somewhat uncertainly. “I’m like, yeah, technically a celebrity, but it still shouldn’t really matter who I’m with. Man or woman. Like, shouldn’t we be past this, now? If I had kissed a guy that night, I wouldn’t have made the front page. There’s just something different about a queer artist, a woman kissing another woman publicly, I guess. And I mean I do get why. When I was a young, baby bi, I didn’t really have any musicians I could look to, to see myself represented. I know how important it is to see people be out and open about who they are and who they love. I don’t mean to imply that I’m taking that for granted. I am so thankful to every person who’s told me that they’ve connected with my story. And to the people who say I’ve helped them in any way, like… truly, that is such an honor.” She pauses, chewing on her lower lip nervously. “But at the same time, I don’t know if I like that we still live in a world where it’s, like, headline news if a low-level celebrity like me just happens to be dating someone of the same gender.” She laughs lightly. “Guess that’s not something I should say to a magazine that focuses on LGBTQ issues, huh?”

I shrug it off. Mitchell’s point is, after all, a valid one. In this modern political climate, there does seem to be something strangely antiquated (if the early-2000s can be considered ‘antiquated’, that is) about a celebrity needing to give a ‘coming out’ interview. But, despite the merits of her argument, I still have a job to do.

I ask her about her burgeoning role as an icon for other young queer women hoping to enter the industry. “I don’t know if I’m the best role model,” she says with her signature self-deprecating manner. “But I am queer. My music is based off of my life, and I am in a same-sex relationship at the moment. My last album was about a woman. And none of that’s a secret. I’m just going to continue to make the music that I want to make, and my sexuality and my current relationship are definitely a big part of my art. I’m not going to apologize for that. I’m just gonna live my life the best I can, and if people want to see me as a role model for that… yeah, I’d be proud of that.”

I wonder how Chloe feels about her sudden thrust into the limelight. Her life as an inauspicious, unknown civilian must be all-but over (at least, for the time being).

Beca is careful with her response. It takes her many long moments to weigh her words. “We both really value our privacy. And with regards to our relationship, well… I don’t want to speak for her. But I do know that she’d prefer it if she didn’t have any of the fame or the attention. Because of that, we’re really doing our best to keep a low media profile, for our families and also for our personal lives.”

[image]

Pictured: Beca Mitchell, wearing an Angela Chen Jacket, Skoot Apparel Sneakers, Gap Socks, Stylist’s own tank top, and her own jeans.

“But I… we really do want to keep out of the media, as much as possible. But I don’t want people to… A lot of people have contacted me recently, like… way more people than I expected. I get Instagram and Twitter messages every day from young fans; people approach me in the street and tell me that they’ve been impacted by my story; I get letters from people saying that it’s meant a lot to them to see a prominent queer female artist, and… I do feel such a responsibility, now. I understand how much it blows to feel alone and… misunderstood. So, while Chloe and I are trying to keep our private lives private, I don’t want people to think that I’m ashamed of who I am or who I choose to date. That’s not the reason we’ve been keeping a low profile. I’m not ashamed of who I am. So I want to be open about my life. I want people to know that I’m bisexual, and I’m proud of it. And I’m proud of my significant other. But I also want people to respect me, and what I choose to share. I’m sort of a public figure, now, and I signed on for it willingly; like I knew this was coming for me. But Chloe doesn’t really want that life, so… if people could respect my privacy, that would be amazing. I’m not going to stop being who I am and loving who I love proudly and vocally, but I want people to understand that the parts of my life I share are the parts of my life I’m willing to share. Because sometimes — and I think we forget this a lot because of how everyone’s always gotta be documenting their lives on social media and everything — sometimes I think there are some things that should just be for you.”

She shakes her head ruefully. “My publicist is gonna kick my ass. That answer was so preachy and long-winded.” She startles. “Oh shit, can I say ‘ass’?” When I nod in the affirmative, she seems more than a little relieved.

I tell her I understand her desire for privacy. I want to respect her wishes as much as possible, but I’m still dying to know something.

Does she think she’s found her one great love story?

“Chloe’s my best friend,” Mitchell says calmly, with a serene sort of smile on her face. “And she makes me happier than anyone in the world. So if you’re wondering whether I’m ‘finding love’?” She smiles coyly, and looks off to the side. The street outside our café is bustling with activity. A young couple walks by with limbs intertwined, their free hands each balancing an ice cream cone. On a nearby bench, an old man reads the newspaper to his bent-over wife. It think maybe it’s just me, noticing all the sweet signs of romance filtering through the air. (Spring, like I said, makes me think of new starts and new beginnings.)

But Mitchell finally turns back to me. Her smile never wavers. “I would say that it definitely looks promising.”

#perdition #one shots #bechloe #anonymous #asks #didn't plan on writing this but got inspired #:)#long post

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asreadbydana · 6 years ago

Text

The Darkest Minds Series | Reading Reactions

Hey guys! I decided that in preparation for the new book coming out at the end of July I would (finally) read The Darkest Minds series by Alexandra Bracken. I also thought, hey, why don't I post my reactions while I'm reading it? And so that's what I'm going to do! I'll be adding to this post with my thoughts as I work my way through the series. Feel free to keep up with it if you are interested 😊

The Darkest Minds

Update #1

Thrown right into the story, ok!

I can't even imagine how scary it would be to have children dying at such an extreme rate

The way the children are treated in this is just a little too real.

Alright Alexandra, the powers have intrigued me... I wonder why she chose the colors she did? And why is there never purple? Lol

So far, not too much has happened but I'm excited to see where the plot goes, although I have a good guess...

Update #2

First impression of Martin? DO. NOT. LIKE.

Well if that ain't the sketchiest memory to see when meeting a new person! Like, hi, I'm a murderer???? wtf

Ooohh, new friends!

And now it's time for some action! Finally got a glimpse of some of the powers. Yellows seem pretty scary tbh, nothing like Pikachu

Ok, yeah, definitely not Pikachu. Holy heck! If yellows can do that, I can't even imagine what oranges have done that's made the adults fear them so much (that was an odd sentence to read in my head lol fear the fruit!)

Update #3

Is it bad that I haven't read Watership Down so I don't really know what the significance is? Maybe I'll ask my brother, I know he's read it.

Also the whole sock exchange was very awkward and I'm impressed with the second hand embarrassment it gave me.

I'm glad Ruby and Chubs finally found some common ground! I mean, I understand Chubs' suspicion, but it's definitely a better group dynamic when THE CHARACTERS LIKE EACH OTHER. Just sayin'

The orange power is pretty crazy!

Okay, finally seeing what Ruby did to her parents was really sad, but also frustrating.

Hey look, they found the camp.

Yay, school! I hope if the world turns dystopian children will continue to do what they can to learn.

I was wondering when this guy was going to show up!

Tbh, not really feeling the romance. I think I'm just more interested in reading about friendships nowadays than about relationships. Maybe it will grow on me...

Update #4

This Clancy kid is kind of creepy. I definitely don't trust him.

OK wait, this better not turn into a love triangle, I swear...

Why am I not surprised that oranges are rare and oh so powerful?

Still sad about what happened to her parents

Does anyone else find Clancy's teaching sketchy? Like, yes Ruby, show him all your embarrassing memories and things you want kept private, nothing can go wrong there!

No, Zu is leaving us! Also, did we find out why she doesn't talk and I just missed it??

Fight, fight!! (But in all seriousness, calm down boys)

Give the girl a break, she hasn't had years to train and hone her skills like you, sheesh

Wow, way to bring new meaning to mind rape (p.s. I knew Clancy was a bad egg)

Ruby, sweetie, that's not gonna help

Would Liam have believed her if he didn't see/feel what happened?

Seriously?! In the last 2 chapters?? Dang, Alexandra Bracken. You really know how to play with my emotions!

Well, onto the next one...

Never Fade

Update #1

Right away we've got some new characters, alright cool

Oh, and the League is being sketchy yet again!

Were Vida's looks really that important to Ruby?

Jude seems sweet, kind of like a little brother

And we've got a lead on Liam! Knew he wouldn't be gone long 😜

Can I just say that it's so scary that in these dystopian novels the adults are always so willing to kill children? Like what the heck!?

Very unsure about Liam's brother...

I feel very unclear on what the League actually wants. Are they pro powers or against? Or are they just using the children with powers as a means to an end?

Update #2

Well they didn't stay there long!

I like that Ruby is more open to using her powers in this one. Embrace who you are!

The exchange with Andy is how I hope a lot of the adults in this world are feeling. Fear makes us do crazy things, but you can only justify it for so long.

🎶 Reunited and it feels so good 🎵

Well hello, Vida, you snake! Do I trust her? No. Am I supposed to? We'll see...

Another group of young adults abusing their power? You would think they'd want to stick together and help one another!

Update #3

Ick, do all the leaders have to use people in that way????

Whoa, finally seeing what Clancy was talking about in the last book is pretty crazy. I hope we learn more about what he did to the reds.

Ruby to the rescue! (Again)

Well they knew it would be a trap, but they went anyway

Holy heck, Jude has got some crazy skills and quick thinking! I'll say it again, yellows are not to be messed with!

That went bad fast!

Omg, is that the true power of an orange? Damn, Bracken, you know how to cause some nightmares.

Also, does anyone else get an uncomfortable feeling reading some sentences? Not even gory ones, but like, about digging nails into asphalt for example? When I read that I can picture myself doing it and let me just say, no thank you that is not a feeling I like!

Update #4

I'm curious how Internet and other connections even work when the world is so messed up. And how hackers can navigate them!

Ah, Clancy, we meet again. NOT nice to see you.

"I blew out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding" omg. Bracken has used some variation of this several times so far in this series and let me just say, I have noticed Every. Single. Time. Why is this concept/sentence so popular in YA, my gosh?

Wow that tunnel would make me claustrophobic!

Oh shit! That's the thing about oranges! When you are around them you can never really trust what you are seeing, ahhhh

"He let out the breath he'd been holding" really?? Again?? 😧

Ok, this professor has me intrigued. I can't wait to find out what Bracken set up as the reason the children have developed these powers.

Also, Cole? Didn't expect that!

Dang, who is that kid and where did he find the nerve!? So much for peace!

How was Ruby not smart enough to figure out that's what L.G. was doing as soon as she saw the research? I mean come on, that's pretty obvious.

Thanks for breaking my heart Bracken! The next book just won't be the same...

In the Afterlight

Update #1

Why is it that adults are always obsessed with money? And how come they never want to PROTECT the children who are different

Oh ok, I’m gonna be reminded of the sadness throughout this whole book, aren’t I?

I knew they were in California, but I didn’t even think about those other kids !!!!

Also, can I just say, poor Chubs and breaking his glasses. I feel you, bro.

Update #2

Why can’t Cate just accept that Ruby and the others are right?! Ugh!

I was waiting for Vida to display her true emotions. But to think that Ruby doesn’t care? She’s obviously not very observant.

Brothers, eh? Can’t live with ‘em… that’s about it lol

I wonder what the government hides from us in regards to other countries…

I don’t understand why Cole doesn’t just tell Liam? Would it really be so bad?

Truth: I’m still not feeling the romance. And I could do without the kissing scenes.

There’s that darned Watership Down again

Clancy is still such a mystery. I get why he’d want to embrace his powers, but doesn’t he also want to know why he got them?

Chubs and Vida get to spend some quality time~

Ok, no more sparring matches you two!!

Update #3

Those poor kids. Afraid even to be rescued.

Why did Liam hide this from Ruby???? Maybe she would have been a bit more open to it had he been honest.

Also, don’t like the reporter lady.

Omg! Zu!!!!

I can’t believe people think it’s fake? Why would children lie about those kinds of things?

Ah, yes, the red army.

Again, don’t like Alice.

Finally Cole! Was it really so hard?

Ok, this is sad but I totally care more about the side romantic relationship than I do the main one. I just don’t see their chemistry, honestly. It seems like it’s more a relationship of convenience than feeling.

Man, another one? Come on, Bracken, why you gotta do that to us?

I was wondering why the sleepwalking was relevant… not the answer I would have wanted, but alas

Update #4

Still going through with the plan, huh, Ruby?

I guess it makes sense that you can erase memories but not feelings. And that Sam would have images once Ruby’s influence was gone

Wow that wrapped up quickly

Tbh, even though he was horrible, it sucks Clancy had his ability to choose taken from him

Family reunion ♡ not so sad anymore!

Where do they go from here…?

#booklr #books #the darkest minds #alexandra bracken #reading reactions #tdm readactions #mine #never fade #in the afterlight

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mirrix · 3 years ago

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Title: The Last Graduate Author: Naomi Novik

Thoughts: So I loved the first book in this series and was eagerly awaiting this sequel. I think I mentioned in my post about the first book that I saw a lot of pushback for the book for not meeting some expectations about characters of color that I mostly disagreed with. I still stand by that. And I think this book does a better job in general too. SPOILERS AHEAD.

So part of why I think this does a better job in general is that instead of the world building being mostly focused on the school itself, it’s focused a little more on the world outside, because the characters are going to have to face that world again very soon. There’s a lot about class dynamics and how much Galadriel hates them. Which is fair. Galadriel herself gets a lot more development this book too as she has actual friends now and a kinda-sorta boyfriend and she’s got to figure out how to navigate those relationships.

The school also kind pushes her to really break away from her previous survival-only mentality as she and the students start to plan a bonafide jail break. Honestly the only problem I have with this dang book is that it had the audacity to end on a huge fuckin’ cliffhanger! Rude! Now I gotta wait again.

Recommend: Yes!

Cover Image Source

#2021 Book Journal

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servantofclio · 8 years ago

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Oh! Oh! All the things for Rae :D

@continuousspec and @painterofhorizons also asked about her. :)

What is the character’s full name, and how did you come up with it?

Her name is Rachel Dang. Rae for short, to just about everyone. If she has a middle name, she hasn’t bothered to tell me. She was very insistent about being Rae / Rachel as soon as took form in my head. Her last name is Dang, borrowed from a long-ago acquaintance.

What inspired you to create this character?

Being inspired to write and think more about Julian Shepard made me realize I needed to think more about his family. I decided he had two moms, but I still needed to think about what his mom who wasn’t Hannah Shepard was like. It turned out she was Rae.

What species are they, and what do they look like? (Use anything you like - descriptions, art, outfits, face claims, etc)

She’s human, mixed race, predominantly Vietnamese, though her family has lived in North America since the late 20th century (over a century by the time of her birth), with some ethnic mixing that I haven’t figured out yet.

She is short, right around five feet tall, with a slim, wiry build; she has golden-brown skin, black hair that she keeps fairly short, and dark eyes. She almost always wears very practical clothing in fairly nondescript colors. When she needs to dress up, she sticks to black. She doesn’t have a great color sense and doesn’t think much about what she’s wearing, as long as it’s not full of holes and is suited to the task at hand. She’s not especially feminine in her self-presentation.

Tell us a little about the world-state that they inhabit. (For example, are they active before, during, and/or after the events of the Mass Effect trilogy? Are they part of an AU?)

Rae would have been born in the late 2120s. Per the ME wiki, around the year 2151, there was a major effort to build up a space fleet and space stations. That’s an environment that spells opportunity for plenty of dynamic young people -- she’d be in her early-to-mid-20s around then. Rae’s a civilian engineer who worked on the construction of Arcturus Station in the 2150s and continued to work on Arcturus for much of her career. She’s alive throughout the events of the ME trilogy.

Share a quote, image, or song that reminds you of the character.

I’m going to skip this one as I’m so very bad at this sort of thing.

Does this character have a connection to any major/canon characters?

She’s Julian Shepard’s mom. Other mom. Hannah Shepard is the one who gave birth to Julian, and Rae refers to Hannah as “your mom” to Julian. In some ways, Rae would probably prefer to borrow whatever asari term gets translated as “father.”

Where, if anywhere, does the character consider their home to be?

“Home” is flexible for Rae. She grew up in Arizona and California, went to college elsewhere, and worked on Arcturus Station for the better part of her adult life. Arcturus is probably most like home for her, and she’s kind of pissed off when it gets blown up. In reality, though, as long as she has something to work on and her people, she’s content with where she is.

What do they remember most strongly about their childhood?

Hours spent doing puzzles and building models and stuff. She was a happily solitary child as long as she was occupied with something. Her dad thought it healthiest for children to have lots of stimulating intellectual puzzles.

Tell us about an important relationship (of any kind) in the character’s life, and how it impacted them.

Hannah is probably the most single important relationship in her life; they met while Rae was in college and Hannah was at the service academy, and have been together ever since.

The person who introduced them is also important, therefore -- this would be Jami, a high-school friend of Hannah’s who became Rae’s first-year roommate. Rae and Jami were both in tech majors but didn’t otherwise have much in common; Jami’s extroverted, sociable, and talkative, to Rae’s introverted, quiet, and somewhat misanthropic. Jami is the good kind of extrovert who will encourage her introverted friends when they’re ready to come out of their shells and introduce them to other friends, however, and thus she gets credit for Rae and Hannah meeting. She’s also perceptive enough to leave Rae in peace when she really wants that, and becomes a close friend.

How did they end up in their current line of work?

Rae is interested in building stuff and problem-solving from an early point. She aimed inerringly at an engineering career from about age 15 on, and so she went into space-station design and construction. For much of her career, she was also busy with space station maintenance.

The publicity mess surrounding Julian Shepard’s death soured her on the Alliance, however, and she took a job working on Citadel reconstruction in 2185, to get some distance and a fresh start. In 2186 she went to work on the Crucible project.

What is the character’s greatest strength? What do they *think* is their greatest strength?

She thinks her greatest strength is her facility with problem-solving and structural design. She’s certainly not wrong that those are strengths, though her actual greatest strength may be a fierce and uncompromising loyalty to what she thinks is right (and to her people).

What (if anything) do they wish was different about themselves?

She frequently wishes she were better at people. Hannah seems serene and smiling and everyone likes her; Rae frequently feels impatient and irritable. She has some difficulty reading people, and she doesn’t have a lot of patience for screw-ups, and she swears a lot, mostly without thinking about it.

What’s a challenge that the character has overcome (or at least survived) during their lifetime? How did they do it?

Having a kid was actually pretty far outside her comfort zone. She’s the younger of two, she’d never spent much time around infants or small children, and she would never call herself maternal. She ended up reading a ton of information about small-child development in a desperate attempt to figure out what was going on with the small human who’d taken up residence in their home. She also used a ton of timers for things like “check if baby is hungry” and “check if diapers need changing,” etc. She still found the whole baby thing frustratingly unpredictable. She did better once the kid was older and could talk and stuff.

What’s something (a person, a belief, a goal…) that your character would be willing to make major sacrifices for?

Hannah, first and foremost. One example: Rae is actually not a great fan of the military -- she respects Hannah’s ethic of service, but she’s wary of violence and adventurism, and sort of tolerates the Alliance because she loves Hannah.

She’s willing to make sacrifices for people, but not really for stuff. Stuff can be rebuilt, if necessary.

What’s a misconception that people might have about your character?

A lot of people who meet her assume she dislikes them. That’s not, in general, true, although it takes a lot to move her from neutral feelings about a person to genuinely liking them.

#oc headcanons #rae dang #ferociousqueak #replies

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unigotchi · 7 years ago

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DES 102 Week 5

When I was creating these characters, I spent the two hours in lesson time just writing up ideas for them, as I do not think I am very good at art and rendering my ideas to paper (or screen). I didn’t really intend to use 2 hours on this but that’s what I did. I will include all my writing in the Read More section, but here is the information requested.

I chose a post-apocalyptic setting, mostly based on the book series Mortal Engines, a series set after a nuclear apocalypse destroyed the world. The series starts off with a group of people living in the wreckage of London, which is almost exactly the basis of my character design location as well, with the minor difference that in Mortal Engines, cities are mechanical, and move around like giant animals, eating each other for resources.

I’m really ashamed of the quality of my images, and designs, and ideas. So, sorry.

I started with creating the vague body shapes of the two characters. At this point I realized just how similar my concepts were to Roadhog and Junkrat, two apocalypse survivors who live in a destroyed city and travel around together, from the game Overwatch. My main excuse for this is that their archetypes are so, so common that it would take a long development process to make pair of characters where the main contrasts are weight and height.

These characters are yet unnamed, and little detail can be made from these images. The left character is designed to be more square in visual design, to represent how set in her ways she is, and how she doesn’t want change. She is sturdy, and capable of taking hits, and her two main weapons are a pair of industrial strength scissors and a crowbar. She does not use these much for melee, instead they are used in dismantling nearby rubble to use as makeshift bludgeoning weapons.

The character on the right is designed to look a lot more unbalanced, and top heavy, to represent how she wants to change the world and does not mind if that changes her too. Her tools are her backpack, which she uses to store materials she has scavenged, and her spanner, which is used to create small simple robots that become brief allies in fights.

I haven’t learnt much about Illustrator since last week, just that layers are much harder to manipulate. In all honestly, I just wanted to get the visual designs over with as soon as I could because I hate drawing, but I don’t think even with more work the characters would be much improved.

Below are all my notes that I wrote down when designing these characters. It’s in Read More cause there’s a hecky dang lot of it and you might not want to waste your time.

Post Apocalyptic

Potential for conflict between the characters

One is quite satisfied with the way the world is now, and one is trying to go back to how it was before the apocalypse. Their two ways of fighting might get in the way of each other at the beginning, with the large bulky weapons potentially breaking or undoing the work of the intricate mechanisms, and the large fighter would have to avoid hurting the small techie. Obviously these difficulties would be overcome further into the game as they learn to synergise with eachother, and also the player would get tired of having to control to opposing forces which are constantly putting each other at risk.

Opportunities for both characters to demonstrate unique strengths and weaknesses

Obvious size and body type differences are an easy place to start, with one being able to perform tasks (break walls, slip through cracks) that the other cannot. But it can go deeper, with the technician (they need names) being so obsessed with returning to the past that they cannot see the positives of life here and now, the scrapper struggling to cope with seeing remnants of the past as they explore over because of the guilt and resentment these images bring up.

Who

I mean they’re both clearly gay and I’m having that right here in this document so on the off chance these ever become real characters I can shove it in the face of people who try to deny it. Additionally, there are plenty of ways to explore transgender stuff in a setting where societal norms have just absolutely collapsed, and I cannot name a single trans protagonist, so I think if scrapper was trans it could present some things to explore in her backstory, but would not need to affect the present day in any way.

I’m struggling to come up with names because while I want to be racially inclusive, I don’t know HECK about different names culturally and I would like their names to have some kind of meaning. And right now I have up the ‘top 60 popular indian girl names of 2014’ and I don’t think that’s the best way of deciding names, so I’m going to leave them blank for now.

They would have an age difference, not too extreme but enough to justify the different ways they reacted to the apocalypse. I think the scrapper lady would be older, perhaps about 20-21 at the time the apocalypse took place, leaving her at around 30 now. The technician girl would have been about 14-16, leaving her in her mid-20s by the time the game takes place. This age difference creates a dynamic of having one person knowing what the real world was like, and was still coming to terms with losing the rose tinted lense of being a child, so she was living in the harshest time of her life. This contrasts with the other person having experienced a mostly positive and supporting world, and being angry that it was taken away from her before she could complete her life goals.

Their key relationship, as I said earlier, is definitely going to be each other, but maybe at the start they don’t have much more than a friendly acquaintances partnership, or perhaps even just ‘together by necessity’ (I still don’t know what that necessity is). In terms of family, I think having a very sparse group of people they are related to by blood, perhaps just the scrapper lady’s father and a sibling for the technician. I think outright stating that the rest of their families were killed would have a small effect on the player, but at this point ‘dead family’ is a little cliché and I’m not interested in a ridiculously tragic story, despite the setting. I think a general idea would be that, as society fell apart, so did social norms of relationships and family, with plenty of families completely splitting apart and losing contact. Despite what I just said about tragedy, this could lead to another contrast between the two main characters again, with the technician only realizing 16 years into their life that their parents were only together for the sake of their children, and that the family was highly strung up on high achievement and was not particularly close otherwise. Her only remaining brother could be disabled in some way, perhaps having ADHD, which in the old world would have been a burden in schools and maybe could be explored as a way of showing just how abusive techie’s parents actually were. I don’t want disability to be seen as a burden though, I want him to be succeeding in this new world, however the ways he thinks affects him. On the opposite end of the parent-child relationship spectrum, but still exploring abusive relationships, I think if the scrapper lady’s parents were some kind of British equivalent of an American republican, I can’t think of a name for that type of person in England, but when I reread this I’ll know what I mean. Maybe they were a very loving family, but were also a very hateful group of people, and scrapper didn’t feel like she fitted in. I think her father wouldn’t realize who she was in the new world, as she came out only after the family had collapsed, and he would be a low tier society member because of his beliefs that he still holds onto.

Their upbringings could dictate their motivations, with techie believing her perfect family can still be resurrected by returning to how the past was, and that everything can be fixed by innovation, contrasting with scrapper recognizing a lot of the rotten parts of the past for both herself and other people, knowing that her life is better here and now, and that a society that no longer struggles with racism is the way forward.

This returns to the idea of an anti-utopia, a world that is, in all simple definitions, perfect, with plenty of love, and teamwork, and innovation, but anyone looking at it sees a very clearly destroyed world.

This makes the problem of conflict and motivation for a game INCREDIBLY HARD. We have a ‘perfect’ world that is perfect BECAUSE of its destruction. What can jeopardise this life? I’ve created a world where I can’t see any conflict this is so dumb.

I think the original motivation for the game could be that, due to a shift in something space related, a lot of space debris is raining down. It poses little threat to people, as luckily it is falling outside of inhabited areas, but provides a lot of interest, as plenty of satellites are returning to earth (and suspension of disbelief is keeping them from burning up).

What

Scrap Harvester

Vehicle Technician

Where

A post-apocalyptic city, probably British? (because I know the UK better than America). A city based off of a real life one, but with some clearly derelict and some clearly ‘renovated’ areas. People living in these towns eke out a life scavenging for building materials that can be used to create housing and farms. This city in particular is almost an anti-utopia, being incredibly well developed but having an aesthetic of run-down, bombed-to-death suburbs.

When

Sometimes in the near future, or present day in an alternate world where society collapsed very quickly and briefly because of some unknown event (unknown because I don’t know what to make it).

Why

The scrapper lady is happy with the life she has now, as it is (somehow) an improvement on her previous life. She helps people to build their houses, and has some architectural knowledge, so leads teams to salvage any building parts they can.

The technician is trying to replicate the vehicles from before the end, in the hopes that improved transport can help recreate the old life everyone had. One day maybe she can move on from vehicles to other mechanical engineering works, and rebuild the old cities.

How

I think a simple crowbar would suffice for the scrapper lady, along with perhaps some large wire cutter-type scissors. She’s very strong, so focuses on melee, and can perhaps utilise nearby rubble and structures as weaponry as well. In terms of game mechanics, this would result in having two reliable, unbreakable weapons, the crowbar and the scissors, and then some low durability weapons that can be acquired from the countless piles of refuse all over the world map.

For the engineer, she would be the post-apocalyptic equivalent of a hacker finding use out of anything mechanical and controlling it, or building very simple robots to work alongside her. These means, in combat sense, she would be a flimsy character on her own and has to create small mechanisms that perhaps inflict status conditions on opponents.

Archetypes

It’s very difficult put these characters into one archetype, or at least it is for me, as I’ve already put so much thought into them that I see them as more than one dimensional. For the scrapper, I think that The Caregiver is very fitting, as she is satisfied in her life as long as she’s able to be helping someone. I think that The Explorer fits techie the best out of the options, and she wants to go and discover what is inside the satellites, but a lot of the points of the explorer is that they are in an enclosed society, which could not be further from the truth in this case. Anyone is allowed to do whatever they want. I think she doesn’t fit in very well, as her knowledge of life no longer has too many practical applications, with mathematics, science and mechanical knowledge being of a little use to a society where farming and building are the main jobs. Despite being loved and accepted by the community, she feels a personal burden because of how she doesn’t think she is needed, so is afraid of being abandoned.

Character Diamonds

Protective, Intelligent, Just,

Nervous, Strategic, Careless, Inquisitive

#DES102 #pre-visualisation #character designs #character concepts #concept art #my art is honestly shameful #i hate it and myself

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