#how do yall feel about lee/luke?
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freddie-77-ao3 · 7 months ago
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so yall know the popular headcanon that will is allergic to telling lies bc apollo is the god of truth? HEAR ME OUT one of the children of hermes is allergic to telling the truth. i--
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phoenix--flying · 11 months ago
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things my friendgroup has said while playing roblox games but its just titan army characters (canon +my hcs and a couple aus)
Chris: Not pump up the music box. What is is? Luke: Wind up??
Ellis: It's 5:07, we might not even need to wind up the music box. Cecil: Did you just say its almost seven???
Chris: Watch them all come into the room at 5:50. bonnie appearing at the end of the hall Al: CHRIS. CHRIS! Chris: OH GOD BONNIE-
Drew: Ethan is just SO homophobic he'd rather die then deal with lesbians. Ethan: Uh...yeah true
Luke: What if we did a reverse Five Nights at Freddys where the animatronics had to spend five nights at our house and then we literally like smash them in with a baseball bat.
Lee: Yall I have no idea what I'm doing. Silena: You can do it Lee! Lee: dies
Lou: I think that was Foxy leaving his home. Cecil: uh..nuh uh.
Lou: Oh. I don't like that sound. Ellis: No neither do I.. Cecil: Run.
Lee: Ventilation sys-... *phantom puppet standing directly behind him doing nothing* HI?? CAN I HELP YOU??
Silena: I've never seen him on the first night. Luke: I have. Lee: ....I feel like Lee is about to tell us me a horror story.
Ethan: Hes alive. Al: *walks into the room and stares at him.* Oh shit.
Silena: He's still in here? Don't tell me to come closer bitch.
Al: Please distract him. *jumpscare noise* ...by distract him I didn't mean throw yourself into his arms.
Chris: Luke your head just flew off of your head for a second."
Luke: I'm dead by the way so I am...no longer living. Lee: wow i wonder...
Silena: He's by Lees corpse 🤗 Lee: Thanks Leens😒
spooky noise Cecil: What was that?? *runs off*
Lee: If you do die I will to. I'll die with you.
Chris, Al and Ethan: *incoherent yelling and screaming about balloon boy* Luke: .....what??
Nyssa: Yea Foxys like eating your ass right now.
Luke: I hate Balloon Boy, I hate his stupid round eyes and his frickin balloon sign. Get outta here. Silena: His like free balloons take one I love you sign? Luke: Yea. Chris: Like I don't care. Go burn. Lee: How about we just burn the whole place to the ground.
Al: If I don't see him, he doesn't see me....he might see me. He might see me. Ethan: He sees you.
Cecil: What if it's really fun. Like what if we go to fun land after this. twenty minutes later Cecil: NO WE HAVE TO SLIDE INTO FUN??? Lou: NO KING WHY DID YOU SAY WE WERE GONNA GO TO FUNLAND??
Lee: Wait thats a seven? Silena: Its a two for me! Luke: ITS DIFFERENT NUMBERS!?
Ethan: Is this Sirenhead?? Chris: Do not even start. DON'T even tell me that.
Lee: So just hang left? Silena: Yup. Luke: Just always go left. Chris: Hehe. That's what I thought too. Silena: Oh..
Al: Chris I can't believe your profile picture isn't a cat. Chris: Al I can't believe you're GAY.
Mitchell: Why is your face purple?? Ethan: You're purple too?? Drew: WELL. YOU'RE FACE IS PURPLE TOO.
Chris: But I can see really well, I don't know what's wrong with you. Ethan: Cause you...cause you died. Al: Cause you fucking walked into Bonnie??
Chris: Oh my god I did it guys! All me. Silena: YOU DIDN'T!? You died like immediately. Luke: You died before the animatronics even started moving.
Cecil: Why would you say that? Chris: You trusted the person who walked into Bonnie on the first night? Cecil: I don't trust you, Luke: And he wasn't even off the stage yet. Cecil: I'm just gullible.
Lou: Oh my god this is so much better I can actually see them....actually nevermind it's not better. It's not better. I see too much.
Lee: Do you wanna play FNaF 4 :D Luke: NO??? (they played fnaf 4)
Drew: Oh come on lets get out! Car! OH IS THAT A KIA SOUL!? EUAGHGHHH
Cecil: I kinda wanna go down there. I really wanna go down there. I'm going. Ellis: Don't die. You're probably gonna die what am I saying?
Chris: Oh Foxy's in the garage?? Foxy's about to drive that car bro
Drew: Is Freddy in this game?? Yeah he is. Silena: Yeah Freddy's in the room. He's under the bed. Drew: Oh! He's under the bed! That makes me feel really safe! That's really- I don't like that. I wish you didn't tell me that.
Lee: I feel like I'm being chased in a horror movie or something. Silena: Me too. Lee: Except I'm surrounded by JOSH HUTCHERSON and I can't be serious about that.
Luke: I'm heading there. OH nevermind I just got hit by a military tank.
Al: Why am I coughing so much?? Chris: Because you're gay. Al: Yeah its a sickness.
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just-your-average-author · 2 years ago
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Lees, Lers, Laughter, and Other "L" Words
YALL IT IS HERE MY FIRST GILMORE GIRLS FIC!!! 'tis rory+jess because I will accept no other ideas in my gremlin brain and it's a classic hurt+comfort. I hope you guys like it! Also, my Ao3 is officially up and running, so I will link that here as well as in my bio. That is also where I post my longer works (think chaptered) so if that's something you'd like check it out!
It was a typical Friday night, and they had just gotten back from a particularly awful dinner. She didn’t mean to start a fight; she never did. But regardless of her intentions, Lorelai didn’t see it that way. All she saw was another fight with Emily, and Rory felt awful.
“Mom, I���m sorry,” earnestly cried Rory, while Lorelai merely walked past her and into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. “What do you want me to say? I had no idea you didn’t tell them you were dating Luke. It’s been over a month. You’ve always told them by now!” she insisted.
Lorelai spun around at that. “Oh, so now it’s my fault?” she rebutted. Rory couldn’t help but sigh. 
“I never said that. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be mad at me for something I didn’t cause.”
“But you did cause it, Rory. Once again, I ask you to refrain from speaking to my mother about anything you haven’t cleared with me first! You know this by now!” she exclaimed, raising her voice. A distant voice echoed from the back of the house. 
“You alright there, Sugar?” 
Both girls sighed this time. “Yes, Babette!” Lorelai shouted in response to the nosy neighbor in her yard.
“Alright! Just checking! Me and Morey could hear you clear across the fence!”
Lorelai turned back around to face Rory. “Now look what happened! Babette heard us!”
“You can’t seriously be blaming me for that. You’re the one who’s yelling!”
“Only because you ruined everything!”
The last words hung in the air ominously, while the mother and daughter stood in the quiet. Rory sniffled lightly. “I’m sorry. Okay?” With that, she gathered her coat and stepped out into the chilly Stars Hollow wind. 
Rory kicked the stones in her path, wandering down the streets in front of Doose’s. She was feeling miserable. She passed by Kim's antiques, frowning in remembering that she wouldn't be allowed in. Poor Lane was still under extreme "groundation" as she coined it, from the Keg Party the other night. Oh well, she thought. Just one more thing to go wrong. After the party, she and Jess were still kinda fighting, Lane was grounded, Dean refused to speak to her, and now her mom was mad. That's just peachy.
And for some reason, all the feelings and emotions that had been welling up inside her for quite some time were rising to the surface. She thought of Max Medina and Luke, and how her mom had yet another attachment. She thought of Paris, Madeline, and Louise and how they all hated her. She thought of Dean and how he was fighting Jess. She thought back about the horrid Friday night dinner. As these thoughts continued, she alarmed herself by feeling a drop of water splash on her tights. Soon, more and more followed, as the tears she'd held back now flowed freely.
It sucked. No two ways about it, it sucked, and she let herself cry quietly, now sitting in the town square.
—-------------
Jess Mariano walked down the street, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. It was a crisp autumn night in Stars Hollow, and the leaves on the trees were starting to turn yellow and red. It was one of his favorite times of the year, but he was feeling a bit restless. He had been thinking about Rory a lot lately, wondering how she was doing. He hadn't seen her in over a week and was avoiding her for fear she’d yell at him about Dean, I mean, the man started it, okay? He was just defending himself. With a fence. And a table. 
He wasn't sure where they stood, but he knew that he wanted to see her again.
He originally planned to go straight to the Gilmore house, but Jess felt his heart start to race. He grimaced, imagining that Lorelai might not even let him in after the chaos from the night. Frankly, he wasn't sure how Rory was going to react to his surprise visit either, but he was hoping for the best. Turns out he didn't even have to worry about Lorelai at all because on his way over he glanced by the town gazebo and then spun his head around abruptly again after noticing a frail figure curled up on the bench.
“Rory?” he questioned to himself. He cautiously walked up the steps and smiled shyly when she looked up at him.
“Jess!” she lept up and threw her arms around his broad shoulders, hugging him tightly. “I missed you.”
Jess smiled brighter, breathing a deep sigh of relief that they were still on good terms. “Hey, I missed you too.” He cocked his head as they pulled away, noticing her smeared mascara and tear-stained cheeks. “What’s going on?” Anger flooded his chest. “Did Dean do anything?” he demanded. 
Rory shook her head adamantly. “No, Dean didn't do anything. It’s my mom.” 
“Your mom? You guys are best friends, what's going on?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her comfortingly.
“Fight with Emily,” she sighed. “She just blamed it on me and it hurt I guess,” Tear whelmed up in her eyes, as she crumpled. 
“Hey, hey, hey none of that.” Jess took his free arm and gently wiped the tears off her cheeks. “You're too pretty to cry.”
Rory smiled slightly, but it fell right away. “I appreciate it, but I'm probably gonna be doing that a lot more.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, his voice soft.
Rory shook her head again. "I don't think so," she said, her eyes starting to fill with tears once again.
Jess didn't know what to do. He wanted to make her feel better, but he didn't know how. A small smile quickly encompassed his face, as an idea popped into his head.
"Well, I might depending on how ticklish you are?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face.
Rory looked at him, surprise written all over her face. "What?" she asked, laughing.
Jess grinned. “Well, are you?” Rory shyly pulled her knees up to her chest. “I dunno,” she muttered, hiding her wavering smile. Jess laughed.
“You don’t know? Well, we’re about to find out!” his hand darted to and squeezed his girlfriend’s side, eliciting a squeak that would outshine a mouse. Jess looked at her face, trying to read if she was comfortable with this or not (he didn't want a repeat of the keg party that's for sure), and to his delight, she was already giggling in anticipation. 
Jess didn't hesitate. He reached out and started tickling her, immediately eliciting a string of giggles. Jess smiled coyly and amped it up, feeling her body tense up and hearing her giggles grow louder. He started by tickling her sides, lightly running his fingers up and down her ribs. Rory squirmed and laughed, trying to twist away from his touch, but he was too quick for her.
As he continued tickling her, Jess could feel her body relax and her laughter become more genuine. He could tell that she was enjoying this moment of playful intimacy between them, and he was happy to be able to make her smile.
He started to focus on her stomach, where he knew she was most ticklish. He traced circles around her navel, his fingers lightly grazing her skin. Rory's laughter turned into breathless gasps, and she tried to squirm away from him, but he held her tight. 
Jess leaned in closer to her, his breath tickling the sensitive skin on her neck. He whispered in her ear, "What's the matter, Gilmore? Can't take it?"
Rory shook her head, her face flushed with laughter. "Ihihihih’ll kihihihll youhuhuh!" she threatened, but she was still smiling.
Jess couldn't resist teasing her a bit more. “You’re the one dying laughing.” He cringed at his bad joke, but it made Rory laugh even harder, so it was worth it. Ugh, the things he did for her, he thought, chuckling alongside her. He started to tickle the backs of her knees, knowing that it would send her into a fit. Sure enough, Rory's legs started kicking uncontrollably, and she let out a loud shriek and flopped over on his lap.
As Jess finally stopped tickling her, Rory lay there, panting and trying to catch her breath. She looked up at him, a big smile on her face.
"Thank you," she said, still catching her breath.
Jess shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Hey, anytime you need a laugh, just let me know."
All was quiet for a minute until-
“I love you.” 
Rory reeled back at the comment while Jess’s face burned. Why the hell did he say that? It was so not the right time! He was spiraling, mortified, and panicked, wondering how he could be so stu-
“I love you too.” 
The two looked at each other with shock and pure giddiness as they professed their love. Jess excitedly scooped up Rory off the bench and spun her around playfully as she giggled. He kissed her, and she kissed back, both purely entranced with each other. 
I love you!” Rory said again, growing more eager by the second. Jess laughed and playfully rolled his eyes. 
“I love you too, Gilmore. More than you’ll ever know.”
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rt-lots · 2 years ago
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louis, clementine, jane and kenny for the character opinion bingo 🙏
RAAAAHHHH LETS FUCKINGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
louis
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im doing these in ms paint dont make fun of me BUT LOUISSSim in love with him top 10 f/o of the over. oh my god. LOUIS GETS a *little* done dirty by the fans but in general hes really beloved and i am grateful for that. i love him. he is so the EVER im so excited to start s4 literally just for him i am obsessed with this guy hes the silliest billiest of the ever my life
clementine
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CLEMMMM one of my fav characters honestly... also i checked off adoption papers but best friend bestie papers also work. SEE i was playing s3 w max and he was like "im a clementine apologist" and im NOT her moral greyness in s4 IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVEERRRRR mcarrol ranch. RAHHHHH OH MY GODDDDD all my thoughts about her are, to be completely fair, recycled thoughts from much more competent anaylitcsists (thats not a word but i dont care) BUT still i could regurgitate those recycled points for HOURSSS i love her sm. ALSO she doesnt REALLY work better as part of a dynamic im moreso referencing her parallels with aj and lee GGRAAAAAAHHHH LEE AJ PARALELL im very easily pleased.
jane
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hmmm janeee... this is where my popular opinion differsss. ok so my thoughts on kenny (this isnt about kenny but kennys impportant when talking abt my feelings on jane) rlly shifted when i watched the video "we dont talk about kenny" or some shit BASICALLY making the claim kennys role in s2 is that of an abusive stepfather. i didnt agree w all their points but its what shifted my view on kenny. (altho my view on kennys shifted AGAIN after playing s2 but youll see that in a sec) when it came to jane tho a lot of the comments were complaining that jane was "just as bad", and the vid doesnt mention her enough. so thats the belief i adopted
UNTILLL i played s2 and thought. no. no shes not nearly as bad as kenny imo. jane has commitment issues forged by trauma which is why shes hesitant to connect w the group and leaves on impulse. she knows what its like to get hurt. but the fandom constantly mischaracterizes this as jane not caring about anyone but herself (probably cuz kenny said it... just sayingg....) and that pisses me off. you cannot claim jane, who killed someone who wasnt directly attacking her the first time for clementine, who pulled clementine out of the ice and was the most concerned with saving her life, who came back after being 2009 emo furry levels of a loner just for clementine didnt care about clementine. she totally did!! she was real with clementine, warning her about love and loss to protect her.
shes totally not justified at all in ep 5 tho. and shes not justified in everything she does! ever! shes morally grey and i like her but i think it just comes back to the ass writing of s2. they wanted a conflict between luke and kenny (new vs old family) but then were like "shit how can we kill one of them!" and decided to bring hotheaded, flaky jane in to KILL A BABY so she would be on the same moral playing field as kenny. which she ISNT thats DEFINITELY A LOT WORSE!! so of COURSE a lot of people hate jane. but idk i think shes mischaracterized a lot which leads to hate for the wrong reasons. it almost feels kinda?? misogynistic at times?? people who are adamant kenny, who has violent rage fits due to his trauma, is justified in doing so but jane being emotionally distant, or dare i say, "a bitch" bc of her trauma is out of line... i see yall...
kenny
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ayyy bingo!!! oh i got bingo on jane too i just didnt notice oops. OK so kennys section is gonna be as long as janes so before i ramble about that i wanna clarify the dynamic part: kennys whole thing is loyalty and i think his best moments are when hes with other people. theres not one specific kenny + another character dynamic i like, i just think kenny is best when hes w people.
kenny... clenches fist. i mentioned in my jane rant how the "why we dont talk about kenny" video changed my perspective of him. and yeah! it did! i dont like kenny in s2 specifically. i think they fucked up his character for the sake of pointless angst and where we couldve gotten an arc about cycles of trauma or healing or literally just kenny-based-fanservice instead we got a pissing competition between him and jane of who could take out their trauma on the other more violently. kenny particularly gets me bc personally, im a big doormat! i walk on eggshells for people. s2 kenny is the type you need to walk on eggshells for. and thats not healthy. i think kennys statement about jane in the truck is wrong, and i think hers is wrong too, but... i mean shes a LITTLE right. the people around kenny ARE scared of him. he (I THINK) recognizes his actions to clementine but seemingly doesnt take an effort to really change them... he just mopes around and then beats up teenagers. its exhausting.
but i dont think its right to call kenny an abusive stepdad. hes not as bad as i expected, to be frank. hes just really poorly written. he is in heavy grief over his familys death, and theres something that can be done with that, but it isnt. he stagnates until it escalates to a final confrontation- which would work in theory if the confrontation wasnt over the death of an infant, like regular kenny would still totally kill her ITS BABY MURDER IT DOESNT WORKKK- and ends. at least closed-off jane opens up occasionally, she isnt totally stuck at the same point like kenny is. kenny recognizes his problems, but when hes with people he acts the same. itd be like if jane kept telling clementine "i think i will open my heart and be less afraid to accept people into my life" and then left the group again. i could probably say more but ive been typing this for like an hour at least im gonna end it here. kenny my beloved but also i hate you
(altho one thing i do love abt kenny is how no matter what ending u choose he assures u it was the right choice... i think thats sweet. just bc im a big kenny critic doesnt mean i dont still have a big attachment to him)
anyways w/ all this out of the way please note these are all my opinions if anything is inaccurate dont come at me... im simply sharing my perceptions of my favorite little game
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caramelcal · 4 years ago
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Trained for Sin {part two}
Word Count: 2.2k 
Ship: Luke Patterson x Reader
a/n: wow...here is your highly requested part two! YALL GOT ME FEELIN FAMOUS!! Thank you so much for every single comment, note, request, repost and message. I am so thankful for them all and I’m glad you guys enjoy my silly little fics lol...
Would a ‘Luke Patterson’ tag be something you guys are interested in, so that you would be notified for every Luke fic I post or no? It’s just a little idea right now...
From Luke’s point of view for a bit of ~spice~
Warnings: friends with benefits themes, sexual themes, swearing 
Tags: @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ilymarkchan​ @starjane312​ @miranda0102​ @katrin-okay​ @mah-gah-lee​ @fantastic-fans​ @phantompogues​ @fangirlangioma​
disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s account) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x
Part One   Masterlist
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It wasn’t a particularly normal experience for Luke to be called down by his mom, but he tried to give it no thought as he bounded down the stairs that day. He could faintly hear the sound of a car starting up and leaving outside as he turned his attention towards his mom, “Hey mom, what’s up?”
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he saw his mother stare down at the parcel with a slight, almost unnoticeable, frown. The older woman walked towards her son, giving him a weak smile as she spoke to him, “A h/c haired girl dropped this off for you. She seemed upset.”
That was even more confusing to Luke. Who would drop him off a parcel, and why would they be upset? He took the package off of his mother, flipping it around to look at the neat handwriting splayed out on the envelope that sat on top of the tan packaging of the parcel. That was your handwriting, but why would you send him a letter and a parcel?
Giving his mom a muttered thanks, Luke doesn’t stay around for any small talk and instead goes back up into his room, kicking the door shut behind him, all of his attention now on the parcel. Something is wrong, he knows that.
The guitar that Luke was playing before he was called down was long forgotten about as he sat down on the edge of his best, ripping the tan paper that you had wrapped the item in. You wrapped it as if it was a gift but it wasn’t. It was his hoodie he had given you the previous night in the car. Why did you not just return this yourself?
He placed the hoodie next to him on his bed, the envelope still in his hand. He was confused. Yet, as he opened the envelope and the key fell onto his lap everything started to fall into place. That was the house key he gave you so that you could come over whenever he needed you. With that, his stomach fell. No.
Luke was far from dumb, and he could already tell what this was going to be. He had dumped girls over text, he had dumped them in person, and just from the start of your letter, he knew what you were writing to him about. He just didn’t want to believe it.
Dear Luke,
This was probably not what you were imagining to get. Maybe you were imagining a present, or maybe you had a parcel that you were supposed to be getting delivered or something but this isn’t like that. Apologies for possibly getting your hopes up, but this way everything will be easier. I won’t have to fumble over my words and you won’t have to sit in embarrassment as some random girl tells you she no longer wants to have sex with you.
After that last statement, I can already tell you’ve probably stopped reading this, possibly ripped it up, or set it on fire and that’s alright. Yet, no matter how cliché it sounds, this isn’t your fault. This...Whatever we had was great while it lasted, especially at the start but now I have to search for something else. For something more...romantic.
I know you aren’t the romantic type, that had become obvious to me over the past months we have been involved with each other and that’s perfectly okay. I never expected anything more from you. I didn’t expect me to ever want anything more either but the more I watch the girls in the hallways with their boyfriend’s sweatshirts on, holding hands, kissing, hugging I can’t help but yearn for that.
I know I can never ask you to give me that because that was not our deal. I was never supposed to want anything more than meaningless sex, but I did, and I do. I’m just sorry it had taken me this long to realize this was not what I wanted; for either of us.
I think it’s best we don’t contact each other again, whether it be over the phone or in real life, not to give ourselves time to heal but to give us time to recover: for you to find a new girl that will give you everything I have and more; less commitment and more adrenaline and for me to find someone that will give me what I want. These last few months have been an interesting experience, and I wish you all the best.
I’m sorry.
You were gone, and you weren’t planning on coming back.
. . .
Luke had never been one for romance. The whole ‘teenage sweethearts' thing wasn’t for him. He knew that a lot of girls would kill to be in a relationship with him, but it was for popularity; you didn’t want that. Popularity was not a factor for you at all, Luke knew that even if he didn’t speak to you much.
Unbeknownst to you, Luke watched you too. Your small manners and quirks, and quickly became good at reading you. That was how he knew you were embarrassed in the car, even if he couldn’t see you blush. Luke knew a lot more about you than you suspected but the one thing he didn’t know was that you liked romance. Yet, it seemed that was new to you too. 
He thought you were all about the adrenaline and hook-ups like he was, and after seeing how you were on the first night you guys spent together, he thought you were more experienced than you had been. Walking through school felt different now as he glanced over at your locker, noticing your lack of presence. It didn’t feel right.
It was like an itch at his fingers, that something was off about him and he didn’t like it. Throughout the class, he couldn’t focus, his mind in a muddle and hands lightly trembling. It was like withdrawal. Withdrawal from you.
It wasn’t long before Luke walked out of the classroom, not caring about asking for teacher permission. Having a rich dad certainly had its benefits. The school was mostly funded by well-off individuals, allowing the school funds to pay teachers and make the school the best it could be, and with his dad being one of the main ones, he could get away with a lot. Luke’s dad never being around never really was an issue for Luke, he didn’t know what having a dad present was like.  Luke was just happy he could get away with a lot of things like skipping class and not handing in homework.
He made his way down the corridor, subconsciously finding himself heading towards the music department. It was abnormally quiet down there, normally the music department was bustling with sound, but maybe he would find sanity in the silence. That was what he was banking on.
A new sound evaded his senses however, the soft playing of piano keys in a nice and calming melody and he found himself drifting towards the sound. What he was met with, he was surprised. Leaning against the door frame, he watched you, your back turned to him, but he could tell from a mile away that it was you, “I didn’t know that you played.”
The piano playing stopped, indicating that you heard him, but you made no turn to move. He sighed, eyes looking over your figure before walking towards you. He slid next to you on the piano, looking over at your face, the direction of your gaze staying firmly ahead, not daring to stray to look over at him.
His gaze moved back down to the piano keys as he softly played a tune, clearing his throat a little, “Where is everyone?”
“Spirit assembly, they’ll be gone for the next two periods,” You replied monotonously as you continued to stare straight forward. Luke’s eyes stayed on the side of your face, not even looking down at the keys as he played effortlessly. You turned to face him, gesturing towards his face then to his hands, “Is this supposed to psych me out or something?”
Raising his eyebrows, Luke shook his head, his fingers lifting off of the piano keys, “What? No!”
“Whatever, Patterson,” You grumbled, getting up off of the piano seat and going to walk away, only for Luke to grab onto your lower arm in an attempt to stop you, “What?”
“I- uh- I just wanted to say you were good at playing the piano,” Luke commented dumbly, giving you a smile to which you responded with a blank stare. Luke did mean it when he said you were good at playing the piano but that was not what he meant to say. He meant to say something that would make you stay, that would get you to kiss him, to hold hands, and to be happy with him.
Because although he didn’t know it until he got your letter, he knew clearly now. He wanted to be with you, whether that meant fuck buddies, or if it meant dating with every single string attached.
“Really, Patterson? What are you trying to do here? Compliment me back into getting into bed with you?”
“Of course not,” Luke dismissed, climbing over the piano seat so that he stood right in front of you. He grabbed both of your hands, squeezing them in his lightly as he looked into your eyes, “Listen, I’m sorry.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him, confusion striking you as you asked, “What have you got to be sorry about, Patterson?”
“Everything. Y/n, I-I’m sorry that I initiated this whole thing between us two with the no feelings, because from that moment on when I said no feelings I was lying to not only you to but me.” Luke started, looking down at the floor as he began to let his feelings take over. It was one of the first times that Luke ever found himself relying on feelings to get words across, but it felt good to be able to let it out, “Y/n, I always thought I would never do relationships, but with you everything is different. I would hold hands with you down the hall, run around confessing my love for you. I would kiss you and hug you until the sun rose. I would do anything for you, y/n/n.”
Luke’s hazel stared down at your eyes, his ramble coming to an end, making him whisper the end part as he leaned closer to you. Whilst one hand still held onto your hands, one of his hands was on the side of your face, a calloused thumb stroking your cheek gently as he bent down to make direct eye contact with you.
You were dumbfounded. Luke Patterson just confessed his love for you. Luke Patterson. You didn’t know what to say. You never thought that Luke would ever be the type of person to chase after a girl because he wasn’t normally. So why was he so eager about you? He never seemed to show any interest but maybe he was like you; hiding your feelings until they become unbearable.
Butterflies formed in your stomach whilst you tried your best to fight off the smile that came on to your face, looking at Luke with soft eyes, “Really?”
“Yes, really,” Luke nodded his head with a light laugh, a smile on his face. You didn’t say anything in return and instead, you connected your lips with his. You had kissed Luke one hundred times before but nothing compared to the electricity of the kiss you felt right now.
Whilst normally the adrenaline flooded your veins, instead, it was love. It was different from what you were used to, but every touch of Luke on you felt like sparks, like the passion you had put into the kiss sparked electricity with it.
Luke disconnected your lips as he looked down, his hand letting go of your face as his arms went lower, beckoning you to jump up with his head, so you did. With you now in Luke’s arms, you reconnected your lips again, hands pulling on the brown strands of hair on the back of his head.
You barely even paid attention to the fact that Luke walked over to the piano as you deepened the kiss, his teeth biting gently down on your bottom lip, making you open your mouth in surprise. He took the opportunity for his tongue to explore your mouth, and you allowed it, pulling yourself closer to his chest, trying to get as close as you could to the boy. The boy who just confessed his love for you.
The spine of the piano was folded down and Luke placed the top of the piano down, causing you to disconnect your lips and look down at the sleek, polished, black top of the piano that Luke placed you on top of. You looked back at Luke, a look of hesitation to which he nodded, “Luke, no, we can’t do it here! What if we get caught?”
“You said it yourself y/n/n, everyone will be at spirit rally for the next hour,” Luke smirked, kissing you which made you smirk into the kiss as well.
With that, Luke lightly pushed you down onto the piano, climbing over the top of you, letting out breathlessly, “I love you.”
Luke didn’t wait for your response as he bent down to your neck, sucking on it, prepared to leave many marks littering your skin. However, you didn’t oppose, instead your hands made their way up Luke’s back and into his hair, letting out a gasp as he sunk his teeth lightly into your skin. 
And so the games begin.
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shes-fast-like-me · 5 years ago
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apex legends zombie apocalypse au
bangalore - probably the most prepared for this situation. probably the person whose house is used as a base at first before they're forced to relocate becus it's actually p secure and she has stacks of supplies just laying about. probably one of the calmest people in group, can fight the zombies
bloodhound - this bitch lives in a secluded cabin out in the middle of fuck nowhere in the woods so they should be grand, probably grow their own food too though supplies may start getting low in the winter and such. can probably fight off zombies if they need to but probs just prefer to distract them
caustic - you know the old grumpy ass men in horror/apocalypse movies that always hate the protagonist for no reason and act like an asshole all the time (think lily's dad from twdg1)? yeh that's him until some traumatic shit happens and he grows to like the other survivors as a family
crypto - he's that person that either a) gets rlly paranoid or b) the quiet one that gets kinda sus and ppl think is gonna betray them and steal their supplies and run off but don't. he'd probably die tho if i'm being real ykno the lad in birdbox who watched the cameras? yeh him
gibraltar - the sweet protective lad. why do i picture him as lee in this setting idk but lee vibes yall. is probably the one that gets to make the final decisions on things cus he's rational but also empathetic and won't just leave ppl to die. might be his downfall tho he might try to save somebody and get himself killed idk
lifeline - the stereotypical doctor character in apocalypse settings i could probably give u like five examples there's always some kind of doctor in the gaggle of survivors. keeps the gang safe and healthy, probably overworked and stressed as hell
mirage - why does he feel like a dumb protagonist kajnsksk makes bad decisions and gets into sticky situations but somehow magically manages to survive. why do i feel like he's the clementine in this scenario. he's more like louis from the last twdg. or like luke from the second game. idk if he dies or not but it's likely
octane - the dumbass daredevil one that almost gets himself killed and is still alive somehow. probs goes missing for days on end only to just reappear completely fine the next week like nothing happened. doesn't know how to use a gun and will probably shoot someone by accident at some point during the series which will lead to him and the protagonists to be exiled ykno the drill
pathfinder - idk how to stick a robot into this au but he's quite helpful ig he's mostly there for emotional support
revenant - again dont know how to fit a robot here but as a hitman? yeh probably their best fighter alongside bangalore. probably the one that is rlly brooding and edgy and leaves the group for no reason like midseason and is presumed dead but comes back in the third season and he's like the leader of some dangerous gang or smthn. like. the lily type or smthn idk
wattson - probably the most scared about this whole thing i don't imagine she'd handle it well. i'm thinking that doctor's daughter in twdg2 i forgot her name and i do not care for her but yeh she's gonna need to be taught survival skills but i think she'd actually survive with how close knit the group would get in the final seasons. probably actually has some useful skills that she wasn't aware wouldve come in handy during the apocalypse. a clementine vibe somewhat if she survives that long
wraith - probably the most cautious one that goes out with like the protags to go scavengibg for supplies n whatever. good fighter and all that. if she dies it's pretty tragic if she doesn't there's a chance she splits off and joins a diff group or is constantly on the move rather than sticking to one place. idk man violet from the last twdg
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jackrackhams · 6 years ago
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twdg take us back thoughts (forgive me if any of this is out of order, i’m doing this from memory)
-the game took 10 minutes to download and those were a wild ten minutes i’ll tell you that -right off the bat i was worried clem was gonna get bit -i tried to shoot lilly at first, then i saw it didn’t work and wished her well. that’s just my s1 lilly fan’s final breaths of air right there -LOUIS SAVED MY LIFE THANK YOU I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR TONGUE -god louis’s little smile though oOF -VI I LOVE YOU -THE OTHER KIDS ARE ALIVE -vIOLET INITIATED KISS!!!! (adding a read more bc this got LONG)
-uhhhh i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who was left with some post-ep3 lilly vibes with minnie. like fuck u for expecting some kinda redemption arc with any character we are going to make them go Batshit the next episode -like i really thought we’d be able to help her or something when she was fighting off those walkers. i mean i get she was totally brainwashed but c’mon man. she’s a kid. but fuk that ig -walker james man. i sorta justified not going back and killing lilly last ep by saying this was what james would’ve wanted (also it’s my playthrough i do what i want), and now that i know what happens if you do save him uhhhhhhh.... i’m glad i made the choices i did tbh! it’s what james would’ve wanted. -i spent so long in that cave looking for “something to light on fire” -i decided to trust aj. i figured a) that could possibly save my life (it didn’t lol), b) it would make him feel good about himself, and c) i’ve taught him pretty well up to now so i trust him. -MEETING UP WITH VIOLET AND OUR LITTLE FAMILY HUG WOW CAN I JUST SAY THAT SHIT’S THE GOOD SHIT -i low key wish i’d named the school castle violet, but i figured it was more important to give her the choice. texas two squad, gang gang -fighting minnie on the bridge i was thinking ‘ok minnie’s gonna get a lot of shit for this lol’ -speaking of Bridge Scene, that shit was INTENSE if nothing else -like SHIT -when minnie cut me, i thought ‘oh fuuck, something’s gonna bite that’ -i also thought ‘hey clem’s gonna have a big leg scar to match her big arm scar’ but i was wrong about that lmao -i’ve never been more stressed that someone was gonna bite me than in this ep lmao -i also thought the scene from the trailer where you try to grab aj’s hand was gonna be here on the bridge, not on the rocks -oof when tenn died i was upset, but i feel more secure in that than if it were violet who died. only because that was tenn’s choice, and tenn was another person, like james, who had seemed to make peace with the walkers in a way. plus he died with his sister, which seemed to be what they both wanted at the time. that’s not so say that i wish i could’ve saved him without killing vi (or louis), but i do feel satisfied with what i got here (rip tennessee, you were a cool kid) -and then vi jumps over a fence ok bye violet -climbing up the rocks, i knew this was when it was gonna happen. but still. i cried lol -when i uncovered the bite, i was reminded of the s2 game mechanics. oof -as soon as she was bitten i said ‘you have an axe! cut it off now! do it!’ and when they didn’t i died -the next bit was reminiscent of lee making his way to the marsh house in s1 -actually, clem’s limp reminded me of a new day when lee got into that car crash lol -and when clem and aj were closing the doors to the barn and clem said to get something to block the door, i was expecting her to continue and say something like ‘something strong and sturdy’ like lee said when they were blocking off the pharmacy in s1 bc that scene gave me strong pharmacy vibes -and then strong jewelry shop vibes bc why tf not -playing as aj. that was rough. he’s FAST tho oml -that was when i went ‘ok so clem is dying for real’ and cried a lil bit more cuz you know me -switching between clem and aj. DUDE that got me so emotional -also aj using clem’s trick (that used to be jane’s trick). GO KIDDO -seeing clem looking more and more dead fuckt me up (like how did she get from that to the end of the ep i don’t get it. like even if it was because she waited shorter to cut it off or because it was her leg rather than her arm or what. it doesn’t matter because by the time lee looked like THAT his arm was (determinantly) long gone. but hey, not gonna analyze it too much lol i’m just glad my girl clem’s alive) -okay when clem was talking to aj that also got me crying -and when i told aj to leave clem, i was thinking ‘okay, maybe she’ll link up with james. or tenn, but like hopefully not minnie at this point. and lEE maybe she’ll find lee. or luke. or her parents-’ -and then he picks up that ax and i was like ‘woa ok did you just kill her??’ -and then the flashback. lemme be real and say i thought that was the afterlife or something, and that those floaty specks were Afterlife Dust -but then i remembered ‘oh right the ranch’ -lemme just say i didn’t think the ranch was gonna look like that lol -not 100 percent on what was going on at the ranch tbh -like who were those people and why did we kill all of them? one would assume that clem would first try to get aj back peacefully -oh wait they were at war right -also i really liked the design of like all of those people -and the LAVA GUY HOLY SHIT -obviously i mercy killed him -also wait, was clem with the people they were fighting? i couldn’t tell -ALSO also, was. was that eddie? from 400 days? checking the wiki real quick -yea i think that was him. rip eddie you didn’t deserve That. i mean i was happy he was back nd then we were just forced to kill him oof sorry man -felt bad about killing that woman also, but hey, she had aj in a tiny locker, so i didn’t feel super bad about it after finding him -also lemme just say -little kid aj?? -SUPER CUTE OML -he’s like the perfect mix of anf aj’s face and tfs aj’s face. kudos to whoever designed little aj -also when clem was talking with him in the car. i felt like it was sort of unrealistic little kid talk, but not so much that it distracted from anything going on -never go alone god rule number one had me crying -and then we’re aj fishing! -i didn’t catch any fish as aj lol -also i LOVE how they changed the dialogue options for aj to be a lot more childlike if that makes sense? like fuck yeah that was a really nice call -ROSIE IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OK -i didn’t scratch out the v+m heart because it’s history, and it’s not mine to scratch out. same reason i didn’t make clem spit on marlon’s grave -CLEM’S HAT GET IT -GET IT GET IT -OH GOOD GIRL ROSIE YOU’RE A GOD -oh a walker -oH THAT’S A TENN WALKER SHIT -well i’m not gonna kill him Again -also i don’t want the other kids to have to see him -i was so glad when i got the option to throw the rock -he learned from james what a good boy -RUBY HI -god ruby’s the best lmao -my thoughts when they’re talking about the hat ‘...aj hasn’t put it on... they haven’t talked about clem in the past tense.... is she.... possibly.... not dead?’ -lmao and when the next scene started, the trees + sky reminded me of the st john’s dairy and i wondered if we had another lee dream or afterlife or something but nope -is this take us back?? -hOLY SHIT IT’S TAKE US BACK!!! -okay and walking home, seeing everyone. god i was so sjfsakjfa there -like when i saw aasim run up to ruby i was all !!! and when they held hands i was all !!!!!!!!! yknow?? and then when i saw omar and WILLY and then on the gate there was VIOLET (i was so glad she was ok lmao the last thing i wanted for my girl was an offscreen death) god that was so good with the music i was crying a little again -need to make another bullet to stress how happy i am for ruby and aasim. like i would’ve been happy either way but they were portrayed as such a cute couple in the few seconds we got of them, so like. consider me a fan now i guess -i was worried for louis at first cuz i didn’t see him -i thought maybe this was the end of the game because we closed the gate and stuff and i was thinking ‘oh, like closing the story’ but NOPE -sup omar. up and cooking again i see -lmao my sleep-deprived brain found it hilarious that we just put the empty bucket down next to him -uhh what came next the graves or clem?? i forget -WAIT IT WAS THE GRAVES BECAUSE THE TIRE SWING WHICH IS SO CUTE AHH -well tenn’s grave made me :( but then CLEM -so glad my hunch that she was alive was right lmao -but also i thought that was determinant it was a lot less satisfying when you realize that no matter what she lives -i mean i get why they did it like that, they didn’t want anyone feeling left with the “bad ending”, their thing is that their games are tailored to how you play and there IS no bad ending but still. a little variation on that front would’ve made it a lil more satisfying -also where did they get those crutches -i love talking as aj. so much. -he’s just a funky lil guy! -that convo with clem on the steps, when she asked if she did a good job... like FUCK YEAH you did a good job, I’M YOU, you think i’m not happy with how i raised me?? -aj saying ‘are you crazy’ when clem asked that made me smile -okay i know ppl have been saying this. but. siblings aasim and willy rule. -and then the meal!! -i was super hoping for a card game but what we good was good. not great, but good. also, card game as aj would probably not be quite as fun. or it’d be very fun. honestly, it’d probably just be a different kind of fun. -when we panned over the table i saw a flash of louis and i went all ‘louis!!’ in my head -louis’s little note sadfasf that was so cute -and honestly everything about louis in this scene i love you louis -actually, just this whole scene was cute. willy and omar were adorable, and then ruby, and willy asking for seconds, and everyone just being Soft in general like. yall deserve this happiness -vi and clem talking Strategy dude sign me up -i love how clem trusts aj now. and i trust aj too tbh, a lot more than i did initially. i think i taught him pretty well. -violet and aj duo let’s go -slightly worried abt that caravan that was mentioned, but hey. the game left off on a high note, so NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO THEM EVER. YOU HEAR THAT?? -vIOLET INITIATED KISS PART TWO!!!!!! CHEEK KISS EDITION!!!!!!!! IM SOFT!!!!!!!!!! -okay that hallway with the snb team’s names all over the walls?? dude oof. they worked so hard it made me so happy to see their mark on texas two -haha texas two -ANYWAY -obviously i looked at all the collectibles i had, AND pet rosie, because i knew that when i ran out of things to do, the game would be over, and who wants that? -aj: *places human skull* *looks at animal skull* wow clem really likes skulls -kiddo i hate to break it to you but -seems like you’re taking after her in that regard -good girl rosie -lmao aj and his magic powers -it’s like louis in a box -hanging up james’ walker mask made me :(( -he is watching over you aj. and he would like that -ok guys i am BEGGING you. if you haven’t already, PLEASE repeatedly click disco broccoli until you can’t anymore. it’s great. -and then i finally had to put down the hat -”thank you for playing” GOD THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME -I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SERIES IS OVER -I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SAYING GOODBYE TO CLEM -i mean i still have my louis route BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME AS A FRESH EPISODE YKNOW?? OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: -FIRST OFF I JUST FOUND OUT VI CAN GO BLIND -honestly im in favor of that i rly like blind violet au and now it’s not au -rip her eye honestly -new tag to match my rip louis’ tongue -also i left violet feeling loved FUCK yea i did i love violet -OKAY ACTUAL THOUGHTS -looking at this episode afterwards, is it just me or is it a little... lacking? like, a little off? i mean obviously it’s good in the moment, super intense, but there were just a few things that make me feel like it’s the weakest of the season -also lmao i guess fuck minnie james and lilly, their storylines all felt kinda like a middle finger to their fans if that makes sense -but holy shit was that minnie stuff haunting. like HOLY SHIT -also, for a game that’s been focused a lot around clem’s interactions with the other characters, there was a lot... less of that in this episode. no card game, barely any interaction with anyone other than louis/violet, tenn, minnie, aj, and james. and two of those people are fighting you. one of them is even determinant. i was just expecting a little more on that front, because this season’s been really good with that sorta thing -also i would’ve loved a little more time with violet/louis. but that’s just a personal thing and not necessarily a problem lol -again, i feel like it would’ve been a little more satisfying for clem to survive if there were an option where she didn’t. but again again, i totally get why they didn’t go that route -in that vein, i’d really enjoy a little more time with the person who wasn’t on the bridge with you. i miss my boy louis :( -idk there’s just something a little off about this episode. -that’s not to say i didn’t love it (because i TOTALLY did just look at all that stuff above haha) -like i know i didn’t love the minnie part, but like i said, that shit was INTENSE -i can sorta see why they went that route -and i can’t speak for living!james but walker!james was oddly peaceful to see. like, there was a feeling of ‘this is what he would’ve wanted’ -and okay i loved the violet initiated kisses. so much. -also ruby and aasim that was pretty cute -and obviously im happy clem isn’t dead that’s always great -OH and i loved the scene with the snb team’s names on the walls. like that was so good. -finally, the end scene was so satisfying. it ended the series the right way. with clem’s hat :p
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lukeysgirl · 7 years ago
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The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.9
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Part N I N E 
Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.
Word Count: 4k+
AN: hi hi, im so sorry i died! motivation has been depleted up the ass, and i was just feeling really down. after the loss in my family, ive kinda been moping around but im back and im alright! everything is much better with me now and im more than prepared to write for you all again! so as usual, 100 notes and ill see yall soon x x
Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
I M A G I N E 
Tuesday
“Please tutor Luke after school today.” 
A request, a mere 6-word request that erupted too many in your head. Ms. Lee had looked up to you, desperation pooling her obsidian eyes. You listened as students shuffled out of the class, filing out of your current nightmare. You could tell solely Luke remained, probably owning a smug face as the  anatomy teacher looked at you pleadingly. 
“As much as I would love to for you, Ms. Lee,” you began with a low tone. “That is too big of a request for me.”
“Y/N, you’re so exceptional that your GPA has been boosted to a 3.9 since Friday,” Ms. Lee hummed beautifully, having you grin from your accomplishment. But it still didn’t diminish the reluctance you had to teach Hemmings. “You are a fine student and a great model for Luke to follow.”
“You’re speaking about him like he’s still a 3rd grader, Ms. Lee,” you announced, glancing behind you to see Luke smiling goofily at you. His gold wisps of hair were pulled back by his rough fingers weaving them through. His ocean eyes glimmered, his pupils dilating from the shear sight of you and attempted to steal your gaze. But you looked back at the professor before allowing that. “I just don’t think I’m the right person for it.” 
“He only responds to you, Y/N,” Ms. Lee urged quietly. “I’ve only seen him react to you with some sort of serious demeanor and actually takes you seriously. Only you can be the one to do this.” 
The annoying feeling of guilt was probably something that got to you with ease. You try not to feel guilty, considering you had bigger things to deal with than such a useless emotional that only led to your probable downfall. But as you looked into your teachers eyes, seeing the pure desperation in them vexed you too hard. You sighed before nodding reticently. 
“God bless!” Your teacher exclaimed in a gushing whisper. You shook your head, turning around to find Luke giving you a toothy smirk. You rolled your eyes at the boy, trudging towards your desk before returning to your seat. Ms. Lee approached your desk and passed you a very small handful of papers. “These are a few worksheets you can work on with him as well as a few of his tests to get a feel of where he’s at.” 
“Will do,” you breathed, taking the papers uneasily as you shifted through them. You saw the low markings on all his tests in crimson red, feeling regret overcome you. But, of course, you succumbed so easily seeing as your teacher thought so highly of you. 
“I’ll be seeing you two tomorrow, yes?” Ms. Lee pondered as she grabbed her leather Michael Kors bag from underneath her desk. The two of you nodded, having you pay little to no attention to Luke as you sifted through his poor examinations. “Thank you so much for this, Y/N.” 
“No, thank you, Ms. Lee,” Luke praised before you could dare respond, having you sigh from his respond. You could already feel a cheeky smile snake up his lips as he glanced at you happily. Ms. Lee even scoffed a bit before escaping the classroom and shutting the door behind her. 
“Man, why did I let her do this to me?” You whispered to yourself, slightly agitated with yourself. But Luke had been eating this up, raising from his chair to stand in front of your desk. He crossed his arms over the table left before you, planting his head in it as his icy eyes studied you. You huffed. “Yes?” 
“Why don’t you want to tutor me?” Luke asked, his rouge lips parted slightly with ponder sparkling his eyes. You blinked a few times, your eyes now forced on his as you held his exam stiffly in your hands. You studied him briefly. wondering if he was actually serious. 
“Because you don’t actually need tutoring,” you scolded, gently flicking his forehead as you continued reading down his exam. You looked at all the red markings to indicate incorrectness on various questions. It bothered you how little Luke truly tried. “You don’t try in the class, so why the hell should I tutor you?” 
“Because I’ll listen and try if you’re asking me to,” Luke mumbled, having you roll your eyes. You place your hand on his face and push him away, forcing him to stand straight once more. He grinned at your gesture, giving you a quick warm look before wandering over to the closets of the room in which people stored the equipment after being used. You raised an eyebrow at this, curious as to what he was doing. 
“Luke,” you began, hoping he wasn’t going to tamper with things and potentially break a beaker or two. But Luke swiftly opened one to reveal a large, black guitar case. You kept your eyebrow up, curious over his intentions. But you knew for sure this guy was going to start strumming right in the middle of your study session you didn’t want to do. “Luke I swear--” 
“I’m not gonna start playing, promise,” Luke began as he took the guitar and walked over to Ms. Lee’s desk to let it lean. He then leaned on the desk himself, his hands planted on it to keep him up as he shot you a smug smile. “Wanna get started?” 
“Sure,” you said with a shrug, shuffling through the papers to see where you should start. “So maybe we should start here where you--.” 
“I can’t learn that way, Y/N,” Luke stated, having you look up to meet the ocean eyes before you. You blinked a few times, feeling your right eye twitch a little from his words. 
“Then how the hell would you prefer I teach you?” You huffed, dropping the papers to stare stupidly at him. 
“I,” Luke began, his large hands crawling down his torso and to the hem of his shirt. You glared at him, seeing a mischievous smirk crawl at his lips with incredible ease. “Am a visual learner.” 
As he finishes, Luke tugs the hem of his shirt upward, slowly peeling off the garment from his torso. You quickly looked away, but your eyes glanced over as he tugged the shirt overhead and tossed it to the side. You got an eyeful of his pale body, incredibly thin yet defined. You could see the mere abs he attempted to build, evident but not quite there. His rosewood-like nipples splotched his upper chest, having you divert your eyes downward on the table to avoid awkwardness. You could feel your cheeks heat up from such a stupid, small act and you still despised the fact that Luke was the cause. 
“Luke, why the hell did you strip if we could’ve used a mannequin?” You hummed in frustration, raising your hand to your eyes to keep avoiding the view. Luke chuckled at this, evidently amused by your semi-discomfort. 
“I thought this would be more fun,” Luke responded bluntly, listening to another stream of laughter as you let out a heavy sigh. “C’mon, teacher. Use my body.” 
“Don’t say it like that!” You exclaimed, using your scolding tone as you reticently looked back at him. The asshole had been biting his lip teasingly, his torso now arched a bit as he stared at you. There was a brilliance in his eyes, eagerness flowing while staring at you. “Are you serious, Hemmings?” 
“Completely,” Luke hummed, looking back to grab a washable marker from the desk to wiggle it around. “Let’s do it.” 
“God, please stop,” you groaned, reluctantly rising from your seat to trot over to Luke. You kept your eyes diverted to the ground, attempting to avoid all eye and body contact with the lanky, shirtless boy before you. Luke was eating this up, as every time you sneaked a peek at his face, you saw a childish grin play at his lips. “I assume you want me to circle certain parts of your body and you tell me the name of the bone or muscle I request and their purpose.” 
“That’s one way to put it, yes,” Luke hummed, having you let out yet another heavy sigh before allowing your eyes to crawl up his body. You decide not to start with the torso and quickly grabbed his arm, having him flinch in shock. You then drew a very narrow oval on his arm, where the humerus bone resided. 
“What bone is this?” You asked firmly. 
“The humerus,” Luke announced with ease, staring down at you wistfully. “It connects to the ulna and is attached to the forearm. It’s quite a long bone.” He indicates this by flailing his long arm around. 
“Not bad, Hemmings,” you said simply, quickly taking his under arm to squeeze the muscle. “What’s this muscle called?” 
“Ah, Y/N, that hurts!” Luke yelped, chuckling as he playfully slapped your hand to let go. But you weren’t keen to doing so, forcing Luke to think quick before replying. “My bicep! It flexes and supinates the forearm-- Y/N!” 
“Good,” you approved, releasing his bicep quickly. He brought his other hand to rub it, chuckling as he looked at you. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” You began with fake concern, flashing him a dosage of condescension. 
“You enjoyed that, huh?” Luke began, having you emit a small laugh. 
“Very much, yes.” 
“God, you’re aggressive,” Luke mumbled, soothing his muscle before quickly snapping his neck to face you once more. His ocean eyes glistened, looking incredibly warm and strangely inviting as you studied them. You then caught yourself off-guard with how fixed you became on those blue orbs. So you quickly diverted your eyes down and let out a shaky sigh. 
“Okay,” you hummed, tapping upon the marker with your fingers as you lifted it up once more. “Shall we continue?” 
“How about we stop using the marker?” Luke suggested nervously as you held up the writing utensil. His hands were in front of you, threatening to hold you back by the shoulders as you lowered the marker in puzzlement. “I know I suggested it, but I kind’ve don’t want to look like a different species right now.” 
“Oh har har,” you emit sarcastically. You tossed the washable marker on the desk, having it hit the pen holder, rolling away from it before going completely still. You cross your arms before your chest, looking at Luke ponderously. “So what’s your next bizarre antic?” 
“How about you just sit down over here,” Luke hummed suggestively, his hands clinging onto your shoulders as he backed you up. You cautiously looked back, feeling your upper rear hit the edge of your table as he gestures to the flat side of the table. You eye him for a moment before lifting yourself up on the cool black desk. “And I’ll point out to parts, muscle and bone, and tell you the names and their functions. All you have to do is watch and scold me if I say something wrong. That sound alright to you?” 
You stared dubiously at the boy, having his words sit unwell as he smiled widely at you. But you quickly gave in, as all you wanted to do was to resign this idiotic teaching role and get out of the jail-like institution. You watch as Luke gives you a menacing smirk before slowly twirling to present his back. It was just as pale as his front, but smooth with very small, light freckles ornate on it. He then flexed his shoulder blades, having you raise a brow at how prominent they were as he expressed them to you. 
“My scapula,” Luke hummed, having him cockily flex his arms as he posed like Hercules. “Connects the upper arms to the thorax.” You crinkled your nose before clapping a bit, confirming his words correct as he snickered and turned back to face you. 
Luke’s ocean eyes glistened momentarily, having you stare skeptically as his large hands quickly latch on his sides. His thin, bony fingers begin to crawl on his stomach, slowly going down for his thumbs to dig down between his body and the hems of his underwear and pants. Your lips part slightly, a little frightened by the boys’ audacity. 
“Luke, you have to be fucking kidding me,” you growled, looking away to hear him mess with his lower garments a bit more. But no mischievous laughter or snickers ensued. Just silence, until the blonde boy began his sentence. 
“The pelvis bone,” Luke chimed, having you leer over to see Luke brush the tip of his index fingers down the dents of his V-line. You were vexed, but you couldn’t help and actually admire how fairly evident the lines were. For fucks sake, you scolded yourself, rolling your eyes as Luke chuckled. “Connected to the lower spine to connect the legs to the rest of the body.” 
“You’re a dirty dick, d’you know that?” You huffed, aggravated that you were the real pervert anticipating something Luke hadn’t done. But you should’ve known that, knowing Luke. He was a pretty ballsy man, but too silly to go that far. Especially with you. 
“And yet you’re still here,” Luke hummed happily. 
“By obligation.” 
“This wasn’t mandatory,” Luke started, his voice emitting a taunt-like tone as you glared at him. “You could’ve left right now, knowing as fact that I’ll pass future exams with flying colors and tell Ms. Lee how outstanding of a teacher you were.” 
You scoffed, having Luke chuckle from you succumbing. 
“Alright, keep going,” you demanded, feeling your cheeks heat up from Luke’s words. You hadn’t understood this boy at all. He’d cover for you, fight for you, and even lie for you. You have been nothing but a little cold to him and yet he still remains, more than happy to stay around you. What a weirdo. 
“Okay,” Luke groaned, turning around once again. You eyed him up and down as his thumbs reached the hem of his pants again and lowered it all the way down to his under ass cheeks. You were so off-guard from his quick motion that you got an eyeful of his pale ass and his evident crack between his small cheeks. “The gluteus maximus!” Luke cheered through laughter. 
“Luke!” 
A few more body parts later, you called for a break. 
“Aw c’mon, didn’t you enjoy teaching me?” Luke teased, snatching his Green Day shirt from the floor. He fixed the black garment a bit before slipping it overhead and thankfully covering his torso once again.
“I need a break before my head explodes,” you hummed, bringing your fingers up to rub your temples as you loosely swung your legs off your table. “You are a piece of work, Hemmings.” 
“But you can handle it, as usual,” Luke hummed. “3.9 Gee Pee Aye.” You rolled your eyes, finding annoyance in his blue pools as you twisted your torso to grab your back. Bringing it on your lap, you unzipped it to fish out a few cookies and some iced tea. “You hungry? I can take you out after this if you--” 
“I evidently have cookies right here, like, in my hand,” you spewed sarcastically, holding the plastic bag filled with the sweet treat. Luke stuck his tongue out, having you shrug him off as you opened the plastic and took out a cookie to snag a bite. You eyed the boy, seeing him divert his gaze over to his guitar. You held the bag out, looking towards the opened windows. “You want?” 
“Nah, I’m good,” Luke said in a hush tone, waving his hand as you greedily reeled the treat back to you. Luke smiled at this, enjoying all the small, kind gestures you do while still keeping up the cold facade you own. “Hey, mind if I play you a tune or two?” 
“Pawdon?” You said in a muffled tone, your mouth drying out from the cookie crumbs. You put the bag down to snap open the ice tea and take a few sips from it. “Songs? Why?” 
“I’ve been meaning to practice these songs, but I haven’t had the crowd to practice it to,” Luke spoke, taking out his guitar at the same time from the large, black case. You watched as he swung it overhead and allowed the leather strap to hang from the space between his neck and his shoulder. “The boys have been busy practicing our original songs, but they’re already installed in my head.” 
“Ooo, Mr. Confident,” you teased, rolling your eyes at the boys fair amount of cockiness. You only say fair because he was actually musically inclined both instrumentally and vocally, so you couldn’t say shit. “I mean, I guess since we’re on break, a few songs is fine.” 
“Rad,” Luke said gently, having your heart pause for a second. The way he said that one, small term was actually rather adorable, but you wouldn’t dare admit that. He’d go over the moon if he heard that, and find more confidence to do audaciously romantic moves on you. “Alright, here’s the first one...” 
Luke moves a little forward, away from Ms. Lee’s desk as he rubs his calloused fingers a bit. His icy blue eyes look at the neck of the guitar, placing his long fingers on specified strings before dropping his gaze down to his other hands where the sounds would be emitted. The black orbs worth of his pupils dilate, having you watch as he begins to strum vigorously with ease. It was a nice tune, quick yet gentle, still a bop many could dance to. 
“Ooo, girl, you’re shinin’, like a 5th avenue diamond,” Luke sung, his eyes raised to lock in to yours. You smiled widely, surprised to hear him singing and playing Classic by MKTO. “They don’t make you like they used to, you’re never going out of style.” 
You couldn’t help the smile that printed on your lips, watching as Luke bobbed his head happily to the beat. He moved his feet so silly as he strummed carelessly but perfectly on his guitar. He moved closer to you with each beat he hit, having you shake your head as he flashed a constant smile that seemed permanent. 
“You’re over my head, I’m out of my mind-- thinking I was born in the wrong time,” Luke sang, raising his voice as his hands looked like blurs every time he strummed up and down the strings. “One of a kind, living it a world gone plastic. Baby, you’re so classic.” 
“You’re such a loser,” you spoke softly, having Luke reveal a more toothy grin while strumming a bit more rigorously. 
“Four dozen roses, anything for you to notice,” Luke continued, walking to your left to go to the end of the classroom. You twisted your torso to look behind you, seeing Luke roll his hips as he played contently. “All the way to serenade you, doing it Sinatra style.” 
You watched as he marched over on the right side of the classroom, passing by all the dull sicence tables as he returned back to his place in front of you. He kept singing, his rouge lips moving so easily with his voice coming out loud yet sweet and gentle. You couldn’t help but smile. seeing as not only Luke was talented, but also genuinely enjoyed what he did. Anyone would guess that he’d want to do this as a living. 
“I wanna thrill ya like Michael-- hee hee!” Luke shrieked, spinning and thrusting his pelvis like Michael Jackson used to do. You snorted, covering your mouth to express the shock you had over this boy. “I wanna kiss you like Prince--” he sung that line with a dirty wink. “Let’s get it on like Marvin Gaye, like Hathaway-- write a song for you like this!” 
You pursed your lips, attempting to wipe away the smile you had as Luke danced around. Although this boy could be a pest, you had to admit: it was nice to see someone be genuinely silly like this. He swung his hips all around, as if there was an electricity coursing through his body. His head bobbed like everything else was muted and the only thing he could truly hear was you and his music. He skipped around and hopped, seeming like he could jump right off the earth even though he knew he damn well couldn’t. Seeing a boy seem so free like that made you almost jealous of him. 
“Baby, you’re so classic,” Luke finished, strumming the strings crazily as he broke the rhythm with ease. You giggled, watching Luke get on his knees, slowly lowering his back to the floor while still beating the strings with his fingers. His eyes were closed, bottom lip chewed between his teeth as the lousy playing slowly came to an end. He dropped his hands off the guitar, letting them splat to the ground as his chest heaved. 
“You’re something else, Hemmings,” you spewed, having Luke stare at you blankly from the words he didn’t expect. You giggled, shaking your head as you bounced off the desk. “But you’re really good. That was really good.” 
“Ah thanks!” He mewled as you offered him your hand to help him up. Taking the offer, you felt his calloused hands wrap around yours and pulled him up with some unease. He was pretty heavy for such a skinny, lanky boy. 
“I assume this is how you get all the women, aye?” You taunted, watching as Luke stood his stance and wiggled his shoulders to fix the strap with ease. Luke just stood there, looking at you with this weird wistful gaze. 
“Ah, not necessarily,” Luke began, watching as his tongue swiped along the top row of his teeth. He looked away from you for a moment, his eyes watching the glass window that was on the classroom’s door. “It does tend to sway the ladies, yes, but I don’t play to get digits.” 
“No?” You pondered, finding it difficult to believe his words to be true. “Then why do you play?” 
“Because I already have my heart set on one girl,” Luke said with ease, bringing his blue eyes back to you. You flinched slightly, still unable to adapt to his audacious, abrupt saccharine words. “I wouldn’t have the desire and passion for playing if it weren’t for that lovely girl. Who, coincidentally, is standing before me, holding my hands.” 
You noticed this and quickly slipped out of his grip, having him chuckle at you. 
“When will you forget about August?” You huffed, turning away to go over to the desk. You begin closing the bag of treats and spinning the cap back on your slightly warm drink. Shoving them back in your bag, you take a bit of time to slowly zip the bag closed. You didn’t want to meet Luke’s face again, or his eyes. 
“Never, if I’m being frank,” Luke said simply, having you shake your head. Zipping the bag closed, you turn around and lean your upper rear against the desk. Your gaze was captured by the ugly beige tiles below you, with your feet popping up at the lower area of your periphery. “You’ll never understand how important that day means to me, and how important you’ve become to me.” 
“I didn’t do a single thing,” you uttered quickly. 
“Au contraire, you’ve done everything,” Luke hummed. You listened to him lift the guitar from his body and leaning the neck beside you, flinching a bit from his actions. He then bent his knees, his feet still on the ground, before coming into your periphery with his head tilted up, eyes wide open, and blue orbs burning into yours. “You’ve become the centre of my feelings, Y/N. As much as I could try to pull away, and you can try to push me away, your gravity just keeps me coming back.” 
Your heart stopped right then, and all of a sudden, you couldn’t stop blushing, too. 
yiKES late, i know ! ! but do tell me what you think here and ill see you at part 10 xx 
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viralhottopics · 8 years ago
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While You Were Offline: Hey YAll, Remember to Set Your Doomsday Clocks Forward
Hey, Starlee Kine. We still miss Mystery Show, but while we mourn its disappearance, why don’t you tell everyone what this past week has felt like?
Jesus you miss one day's worth of news and you're Luke returning home to his aunt and uncle on Tatooine.
— Starlee Kine (@StarleeKine) January 25, 2017
Yep, pretty much sums it up. This has been the week where reality has been rejected by those in charge, and perhaps with good reason, considering how badly reality is working out for… almost everyone? But if you’ve had the good luck to have been busy doing other things for the past seven days, here’s a quick roundup of what you might have missed over the last week of World Wide Web-spinning.
It’s the End of the World as We Know It and This Is Fine
What Happened: So, turns out that the Doomsday Clock was updated this week, for those of us having trouble dealing with the anxiety of the modern world. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: But perhaps all this naysaying and doom-mongering is just paranoia, and things aren’t as bad as they seem. Let us just check in with what the big brains at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientistsyou know, the people behind the Doomsday Clock—are saying to get some perspective.
Doomsday Clock moving from 3 minutes to midnight to 2 and a half minutes to midnight
— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) January 26, 2017
Well, crap. So, what brought us that little bit closer to apocalypse? According to the official announcement, none other than the new President of the United States. Well, him and a general worldwide push towards nationalism. “Disturbing comments about the use and proliferation of nuclear weapons made by Donald Trump, as well as the expressed disbelief in the overwhelming scientific consensus on climate change by both Trump and several of his cabinet appointees, affected the Board’s decision, as did the emergence of strident nationalism worldwide,” the release explains.
The change was, of course, picked up by multiple news outlets as everyone tried to just pretend everything was fine.
Certainly, there were plenty of doubters on Twitter:
Have to say, introducing half-minutes to the Doomsday Clock feels like a cop-out.
— Phil Sandifer (@PhilSandifer) January 26, 2017
Real talk: The Doomsday Clock is stupid.
— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) January 27, 2017
At least some people had a certain type of gallows humor
Can't wait to hear Donald Trump's response to the #doomsdayclock moving 2.5 mins to midnight. Probably has a clock that is bigger & better
— Adam C. (@adamecurry) January 26, 2017
The #DoomsdayClock has moved closer to Midnight. It's just like Cinderella. Except when the clock strikes 12 she turns into a mushroom.
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) January 26, 2017
TBH, I'm surprised the Doomsday Clock isn't CLOSER to midnight…
— Hope Larson (@hopelarson) January 27, 2017
So, what's everyone doing for their last 2 min 30 sec on earth? #doomsdayclock
— Ezra Harper (@EmDrive16) January 27, 2017
That’s the spirit! Chins up, everyone The Takeaway: Well, this feels appropriate:
It's not at all concerning when #DOOMSDAYCLOCK is trending. Not at all. Everything is fine. http://pic.twitter.com/F0SzyH47TB
— Tom + Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) January 26, 2017
#SpicerFacts
What Happened: How do you know you’ve made it as White House Press Secretary? When your very first press appearance in the role turns you into an Internet meme. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: New White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer had a rough start to his new job last weekend, when his first appearance at the podium proved to be an argumentative one, as he basically said many wrong things about the size of the crowds for President Trump’s inauguration and everyone called him on it. The resultant online kerfuffle immediately became a meme as #SpicerFacts started trending and everyone offered up their own versions of reality:
President Trump finished the NY Times mini-crossword puzzle each day in roughly 15 seconds. #SpicerFacts
— colbyhall (@colbyhall) January 21, 2017
Trump swam the English Channel while holding Chuck Norris above the waves with one arm. #SpicerFacts
— Charlie Reed (@CharlieReed2004) January 21, 2017
"Everyone knows Beyonc was the weak link in Destiny's Child. Period." #SpicerFacts http://pic.twitter.com/jIWuYHb7bS
— Josh Crews (@JoshCrewsReally) January 22, 2017
"Admiral Ackbar is wrong. There is no trap. Period." #SpicerFacts http://pic.twitter.com/oXKrwKBckk
— Bonnie Burton (@bonniegrrl) January 22, 2017
Unsurprisingly, the media couldn’t resist reporting on this meme, especially considering Spicer’s ire was directed towards the media. Soon, the very idea of #SpicerFacts had gained enough currency that it got a Twitter account of its very own, the surest sign that something had gone mainstream. Well, one of the signs, at least.
Announcers at an NBA game were making #SpicerFacts jokes this weekend. This moment broke through huge. And can't be put back in bottle.
— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) January 23, 2017
So how could the White House fight back against this widespread acceptance of the idea that its Press Secretary had, in his very first official appearance, revealed himself to be unfamiliar with the truth? KellyAnne Conway had an idea: double down.
WATCH: Kellyanne Conway defends WH press secretary's "alternative facts." #MTP http://pic.twitter.com/q4PVzhpA1g
— Meet the Press (@MeetThePress) January 22, 2017
Yes, that’s actually a government official arguing that Spicer wasn’t actually being untruthful, he was just delivering “alternative facts.” Anyone want to make a guess at what became the next hashtag to trend on Twitter?
Never too late to teach your children about #AlternativeFacts http://pic.twitter.com/RlVCEgkusU
— Kenneth Fernandez (@KenFernandezPHD) January 23, 2017
Icebergs are disappearing because polar bears are eating them #alternativefacts
— David Belz (@dmdb44) January 23, 2017
All of the Jedi inexplicably decided to jump into friendly Stormtrooper fire or onto Darth Vader's lightsaber. #Alternativefacts
— Death Star PR (@DeathStarPR) January 23, 2017
Unicorns went extinct when David Bowie died. #AlternativeFacts
— HaberTweets (@ToddHaberkorn) January 23, 2017
As sales of George Orwell’s 1984 spiked almost 10,000 percent (it is, after all, a book filled with alternative facts, or as it’s called in the book, doublespeak), the war on truth continued with Sean Spicer’s second press conference, in which he told reporters, “I think sometimes we can disagree with the facts.” If he seemed unclear about what words mean, thankfully the dictionary was there to throw some shade in his direction:
*whispers into the void* In contemporary use, fact is understood to refer to something with actual existence. https://t.co/gCKRZZm23c
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) January 24, 2017
The Takeaway: Sometimes, the truth is out there all along, just mixed up somewhat.
Best. Anagram. Ever.
ALTERNATIVE FACTS = AN EVIL STATECRAFT#AlternativeFacts (h/t @anagramtimes) http://pic.twitter.com/SbDAG7jvWA
— Jonathan Kaye (@JonathanMKaye) January 24, 2017
Did You Mean…?
What Happened: Sometimes, search functions give you what you need, if not necessarily what you wanted. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Call it the surprise search gift of the week.
It's crazy who pops up when you search the word 'asshole.' on Twitter.
— BEEZ (@bugattibeez) January 26, 2017
Note: This isn’t still the case, so don’t go rushing to Twitter to try it for yourself right now. But, up until Wednesday evening, this was entirely true:
Search "asshole." Search "fascist." Search "racist." Search "worst."
What do you get? http://pic.twitter.com/v0rfqKCiHB
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) January 26, 2017
The @realDonaldTrump account would also come up as a suggestion if you searched for “tiny hands,” although that was discovered after the fact. Twitter, meanwhile, was rather excited about this new discovery.
If you type "asshole" into the Twitter search bar Donald Trump's profile comes up lmfao who did this?
— Anthony (@OMGItsBirdman) January 23, 2017
y'all type "asshole" into the search bar and donald trump comes up sjjakhsjsha
— diego (@shadesof666) January 26, 2017
So anyway I typed "asshole" in the search bar and Donald Trump shows up
— Tay (@CakeFaceTay_) January 26, 2017
WHEN YOU SEARCH "asshole" it shows Trump http://pic.twitter.com/jnSJdejpe4
— Dank Memes (@DankMemes) January 26, 2017
Turns out, Twitter wasn’t the only place people got excited about this search suggestion; unsurprisingly, it got a lot of traction in the media. And why not? If Twitter was trolling Trump it would have seemed an awful lot like making a dig at the guy who has made the service very newsworthy in recent months.
But what if it wasn’t trolling?
Not a troll. Algorithm to find relevant accounts based on the "discussions" they are part of, i.e. lots of tweets to Trump using "asshole". https://t.co/0wlUntdKeV
— Izzy Galvez (@iglvzx) January 26, 2017
The Takeaway: Whether it was a legitimate algorithm or strange glitch, Trump was removed from those results pretty quickly after it became public. It was over almost as soon as it began, but let this serve as a lesson to randomly search for things on Twitter and see what comes up. (That is the lesson here, right?)
There Is a Tweet Tied to an Argument For Torture, What Do You Do?
What Happened: Turns out, Twitter is not so impressed with your ridiculous hypothetical moral dilemmas. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Funny story: our new ppresident believes torture “absolutely works.” As people try to come to terms with what that actually means (FWIW, new Defense Secretary James Mattis disagrees), British comedian Lee Hurst took to Twitter with what we can only assume he thought was a compelling thought experiment.
Your baby is tied to a timebomb. You have the terrorist. He tells you you have 1 hour. Do you #torture him to find your baby or let it die?
— Lee Hurst (@2010LeeHurst) January 26, 2017
Let’s just say that Twitter, en masse, didn’t agree.
Simple. First you row the baby across the river. Then row back and get the time bomb and the goose, leaving the terrorist with the beans.
— Davey Jones (@DHBJones) January 26, 2017
Were you attached to a time bomb when you were a baby? I'd like to talk to you for a thing – DMs are open #journorequest
— josh pappenheim (@papsby) January 26, 2017
Good luck tying my baby to a time bomb. It takes me half an hour just to put a vest on him.
— Ben Davis (@bendavis_86) January 26, 2017
Okay, okay, but what if it were baby Hitler tied to a bomb you sent back in time?
— Kip Manley (@kiplet) January 26, 2017
For sale. Baby timebomb. Never used.
— Kieran Shiach (@KingImpulse) January 26, 2017
The Takeaway: There’s no way to avoid it: this pun just might have made the whole thing worthwhile:
"Lieutenant, they've strapped your baby to a bomb!"
"Don't worry. That won't…"
(puts on sunglasses)
"…RATTLE her."
YEAAAAHHHHHHH
— Li'l Stuffed Bull (@bully_thelsb) January 26, 2017
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from While You Were Offline: Hey YAll, Remember to Set Your Doomsday Clocks Forward
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