#how do half the people on the internet have the mindset of 'if i agree with the reasoning of this side

[ms-hells-bells]

no one is normal on the internet

[wroetojaw]

SIDEMEN BRUTALLY RANK MORE YOUTUBERS | H. Lewis

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

summary: cozy day in with your boyfriend and watching the sidemen

tags: fluff, w2s x reader

warnings: slight cursing (not really)

a/n: instead of doing my literature essay I completed this story hope you guys enjoy!! more stories and stories about other youtubers are coming soon! ⋆｡˚

-

“Welcome to MoreSidemen, where the Sidemen, talk badly, about other youtubers” Simon says as the others cheer jokingly.

You giggle quietly while watching the video, leaning back into your boyfriend’s arms. Harry said you were one of the people they ranked and asked if you wanted to watch it with him. And, of course, you agreed because who wouldn’t. You watch Harry as he gets up from the couch to go get a snack.

"You look good in this video by the way," you complemented him as your eyes wandered back to the screen. "I reckon I look good in every video, don't know what you mean..." He remarked. You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him when he sat back down next to you only to be grabed by the waist and pulled closer to him.

"They are our friends, so don't take any of these seriously," Simon continues with a disclaimer, knowing how the internet would react if he didn't. "Maybe not for much longer if I get ranked last for any of the nice ones." You say, half-accusingly glaring at Harry. He puts on a guilty look and shrugs.

"Which Youtuber would you most want backing you up in a fight, we have seven people." The said seven people then popped up at the bottom of the screen. It was you, Deji, Theo Baker, Callux, Danny Aarons, Randolph, and Calfreezy. “Oh shit, it’s my girlfriend oh no,” Harry says, putting his hands in his face. The guys laugh at him and Vik says, “someone’s sleeping in the dog house tonight.” "Bro you better watch what you say."

"Who'd you want most", "Well Deji has got to be number one", "Yea Deji number one," they say in agreement. "Hey! What about me," you say, turning around to pretend to punch Harry. He ducks out of the way and says, "Come on Y/N, he's literally a professional boxer". "Yeah well...I can throw a punch too." You grumble, turning back around to face the television.

"...Theo's up there because he's pretty w..." You hear your boyfriend say in the video. "I could take him down," you mutter. "I know you could okay Y/N," he says as he kisses the top of your head. The guys continue discussing their rankings, not once mentioning you at all. "Okay now hold on a sec, because I personally think Y/N could pack a punch you know, I feel like she's got the temper enough to take a bitch down." Simon reasons with the group.

"Remind me to give Simon a big hug the next time we see him." You say gleefully, happy someone finally recognized your strength. "Yeah, I agree. I think she has the ride-or-die kind of mindset because she will fight for you and what-not, god I love her." Harry says. You look up lovingly at him and kiss his cheek.

"So we're going Deji, Theo, Danny, Lux, Y/N, Freezy, Randy," they say as they list out their rankings. "Are we sure about Freezy and Randy?" Tobi asks, to which Harry responds, "Y/N loves getting into fights so yeah..." You glare at Harry, unsure if it was a compliment or not. "You know she's actually mad strong. The other time she accidentally turned around and elbowed my stomach and it had a huge bruise for a week," Josh added. "Does that mean you're just weak then?" Simon says. The lads just laughed and before Josh even tried to defend himself, Simon already started talking about the fan's rankings.

"Randy's third? And Danny's six?" Simon says in disbelief. "No way I think Randy and Danny swap," Harry says, he looks down the lists and sees you've been ranked at sixth. "Wait no way they voted Y/N as last. Guys have you seen her during our challenges, she would take a bitch down," Harry continues. You thanked him for 'defending your honor' and gave him a big smooch on the lips.

They continued to disagree with the fan rankings, but you honestly couldn't care less anymore. Knowing that your boyfriend thought you were tough and could hold your own was enough for you. You begin to dose off as the video continues playing, hearing Harry chuckle every now and then when his friends make a joke, as he combs your hair unconsciously.

However, one of the questions you hear as you fall asleep catches your attention. "Which youtuber is the most attractive?" You sit up, curious about what would be their rankings. The rest of boys in the video look at Harry, thinking that he would instantly say his girlfriend, but boy were they wrong. "Number one Callux," Harry says immediately. You both burst out laughing as he continues to try and correct himself, in the video, realising his girlfriend was also in the list. You pretended to act offended as Harry 'apologises profusely', peppering kisses all around your face. You couldn't help but giggle at your boyfriend's adorableness.

Laying back down in your boyfriend's arms as he wraps them tightly around you, with the video playing in the background, you look up at Harry, wondering how did you get so lucky and how much you love your life.

[laylawatermelon]

Buddie: it's The Way It's Played

Aka don't hate the player hate the game or whatever.

(i promise the is Buddie at the halfway point if you just want meta)

I woke up pondering about edy's comments and found it a bit funny and ironic because she probably doesn't know just like we don't know.

Oliver recently talked about how he wasn't heavily involved in this upcoming episode 2 so he'll be getting to watch it for the first time with us.

It's the same case with her. In her eyes she does her few scenes and goes home.

In her head she is the chosen love interest and she is indeed being asked to come back.

The second half of the season hasn't publicly been announced (or fully filmed I assume) so she's just as oblivious as we are.

What I will say is that celebrities should know to not be in the spaces of fandom and don't get heavily involved.

Especially with shippers.

As a fangirl I have always been protective, I would say, over my stuff but I made like a rule that I don't reply or have online arguments.

(mostly because i get riled up easily in real life and it's dangerous imagine doing it with a complete stranger or a mob of them if we're being fr because there's never just one person arguing with you.)

It's likely millions or billions 🙃

Also as a fangirl, I don't mind shipping or not shipping.

Do what you want, I don't care.

I grew up in the good ole don't like scroll away time.

What I'm getting at is that some people are more comfortable on online spaces. Some are more quiet (like me) but they're there.

I've recently become disillusioned slowly over the years of Hollywood ( all the woods honestly) glamour so when they are shown or said to be bad people I treat them as such.

Cause they're that.

People.

Who do good and bad stuff all the time.

Granted we don't a camera or constant surveillance or record (or funds) all the time, but I'd bet we said/did bad stuff.

Now in Hollywood's case their stuff is mainly criminal/jail/wtf is going on over there?!??!

In her case, I'm not surprised.

There's people who are homophobic/transphobic and everyphobic (and -ist!!) in the world so of course they would be in show business.

Cause they're people. We got people (like millions of them, a concerning number in worldwide leadership positions but that's a story for another day...) like that all over.

Celebrities are not and never will be role models. They are public images projected onto a pretty body.

That's also the reason why I'm saying that she should shut her computer and cut her losses.

(a lot of celebrities should do that honestly)

But, it does let you know who to support and who not to.

And I'd rather know my enemy rather than worship a perfect image honestly.

I also think it's unwise to fight the people who are literally indirectly paying your bills.

There are 93k people (just on Tumblr) who ship the guys.

Even I know better and I'm a fan.

(i think it's because I'm a fan and ik how it can get I'm just an observer cause whew 😥😮‍💨)

That's not counting the ones not active here or casuals who agree with the pairing.

If they pay your bills walk on eggshells ma'am. You're job quite literally hinges on people liking you.

So be likable.

(once again I will reiterate as a fan/human with a heart let me know how bad you are so I don't give you my love if you're a bad person with shady morals.)

But as an observer it's like just shhhhhh. Please. The Internet is forever. There is no timeline for it. What are you doing??

If I'd say it it's like watching you drive a burning car driving down the street and you're sitting in it proudly waving and hitting people but insist you're right or a good person.

I'm just shocked at some people's let's say narrow thinking aka limited timeline thinking.

Fans and the Internet didn't forget. They will find you.👹

But I wanna talk about Buddie now!

Okay.

Now that we've criticized celebrity culture and the response of ms. Edy and her bad mindset (aka lack of critical reading and decision making with fandoms and responses in general also queerphobia?!) that honestly I appreciate.

Be a bad apple in public.

Imma stand on business.

Expeditiously 😤.

Bye bye support and hello uproar.

But back to Buddie 😘😚🤗😝, I wanna be clear I am a fan but I am also very critical of media.

It's the way they act.

Literally.

The reason Buddie even exists and is accepted is it's literally there. (Their fault)

There is no subtext.

The actors play it as such, the directors direct it as such and the marketing play it as such.

I'm a bit upset seeing y'all called clowns (although i hope it's said affectionately cause tone indicators or the lack of) because you're not crazy.

They quite literally put the battery in y'all backs so it shouldn't be surprising if the battery is more high powered than expected.

You are not misreading anything.

Most people just choose to ignore the signs because

(the church! Homophobia! All rhe -ias and ists!)

Truly our downfall as a modern society.

Anyways, as a writer and heavy media consumer there's no mistakes.

Every wprd is carefully chosen, every shot has a purpose and every cut is done. These things are practiced a thousand times, edited, retaked a thousand times if they have to.

There's no mistakes in media. It's literally made to influence, persuade and educate.

Nothing is a coincidence!

But after reading a few interviews and listening to the fandom I think we can also say with confidence they've been playing it as a romance.

There's nothing platonic.

They have platonic couples on the show.

That

is not it.

Even if you see it as pure writing without the context of their acting choices.

Let's say kitchen scene.

You wanna work it out in the ring (throws playful punches)

I'd take you.

I wouldn't do that. You're on blood thinners.

Buck steps closer to playfully intimidate him.

You wanna go for the title?

Now pause.

Ik we all know that scene religiously and can only see it as insane (because they are. It is.) but I read it in my mind as a blank sheet of paper and couldn't help but wonder.

Why would you say it like that?!??!!?

Mr. Oliver Stark and Mr. Ryan Guzman I sentence you will eternal jail cause wtfff?

I imagined it more platonically. You can quite literally put, let's say, Hen and Chim in that same scenario. Damn even Eddie and Chim.

Their acting choices would reflect that. Hell, read the lines without looking (or hearing their insane intonation) and imagine your best friend. Any friend for that matter.

It wasn't playful, it was well, sexually tense. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Ps i love buck 1.0 and was shooketh to see his return because i watched the show backwards. i did season 2-6 in like a week then begrudgingly did season 1. Me nah like abby ...

They are choosing to act it out as a romance.

Now that could lend itself to male partnership in movies (and real life) where they went to war together that were usually where gay/queer men had partnerships/relationships in every sense of the word.

The shows ain't got it from nothing. 🤷🏾‍♀️

There's always truth in fiction.

I also find out a bit hilarious to imagine the director tried to get them to stop but the takes were either too good or they kept pushing the envelope and the editors were like yes. 🤗

I will put this shot of them longingly staying at each other instead of the slightly less neutral one.

Or cut when they say we're the only ones who don't have kids (+buck) then cut to Buck being a good dad! 🤗

On a bit of a more serious note let's say it is a bit of manipulation of the masses marketing wise.

The show is very queer friendly with a (black!) lesbian couple, a gay man, an engaged (black!) gay couple and many queer stories of different races in their cases that are told wonderfully.

I acknowledge and comment them for it but ..

The big problem is how Buddie is treated. (Or rather the very rational people who ship them)

(which their name is kind of funny because I link it to buddy cop movies that can be homoerotic when they feel like it and buddie is technically that trope)

Homosexual media (in the case of film) has always been subtext, hidden, stereotyped, twisted or been outright secret messages for the girls to uncode (cause religion 🤷🏾‍♀️).

It has only been like very recent that queer people have been gaining respect in media so it's not surprising.

What life was like in 2019 to now in terms of queer media is like night and day. The same would be for the 2000s. Gay was used as an insult. The world is quite literally changing before our eyes.

In their case, the elf scene is said to be a wink at the audience.

But the actors took it seriously. So we do as well.

Aka the battery put in they back.

They respect the same vision. 😤goated

The chemistry is undeniable, and the tropes they have parallel a lot of romantic things used historically in media. (And in the show *bathena* but🤷🏾‍♀️)

It's not an accident to say that if one of them had been female (aka the "acceptable" pairing) they'd have been together.

You could argue that if he'd been with Maddie like intended they'd be together. And little jiyun would be a sister.

She might be a Jane actually??

Back on topic.

I found it interesting when watching like a compilation (cause i did nawt watch the show before become a buddie fan) and found it hilarious because it was like their normal behavior and i felt the romantic tension shift. It was like whoooaaa holup. The air shifted.

It's very easy to spot it because at the first few episodes it was very platonic then it became very side eye....

What do you mean he's cute? What do you mean wanna go for the title?

(That scene is eternally insane)

What do you mean with other couples they're paired as a family? Consistently?

What do you mean the kid and you go on solo family outings to the zoo? Constantly? For years?

You take care of him like all the time?

What do you mean he's your kid's legal guardian and partly the reason you lived after being trapped in a well?

The actors play it romantically. Ryan does cause I remember step up.

After like a year together? Over his family? Who are not firefighters??

Ik how he is when he's flirting.

The show also (unfortunately) writes their love interests as tools of self growth for them (which can be a bit problematic cause the women aren't being treated three dimensionally characters men get to be. the two who were closest were abby, and Taylor. Shannon was so so for me personally. Which is odd because they have complex main females it's just unfortunate that the women they have for them are rarely people outside of the relationship and that's why it falls apart in the case of their relationship/people getting invested).

Nobody is quite literally written as important to each other like them. They are in a relationship no doubt. We can say queer platonic now (as they are raising a kid together?!??!! Like come on. Chim and Hen aren't like Buck and Ed. Also the good cop bad cop scene?)

It's just not sexual I'd say.

Cause emotionally, mentally all that is there.

And they could absolutely play it "straighter" 🥴 cause I've seen a plethora of male friendships (slight side eye ry we got buddy cop movies galore don't play with me!!!) where they support each other.

They don't act like that!!!! Look at this and tell me I'm wrong!

(i feel insane but I'm not i swear)

the lighting, the cut, the conversation im melting~~~!!!!

It's not inaccurate to say that the way they're written (and acted!!) is more romantic than platonic.

I'd assume they couldn't let the two hot men who represent "manliness" be together because they didn't fit into a (gay) stereotype.

But they will gladly let you advertise their show to the high heavens and bring in millions of dollars in revenue, which does upset me ngl but 🤷🏾‍♀️ hey, can't hate the player hate the game right?

[ooc-miqojak]

The State of AAA Games in the Modern Era

"Before the internet became a core facet of gaming, if a studio dropped an unfinished game, that game stayed unfinished." "If a game launched in a poor state, that became the game's legacy."

And a quote from the video linked in #2 in my sources below: "This corporate mindset has encouraged studios to ship now, fix later, and exploit the wallets of players for years down the road. And oftentimes we do see some of the lead developers from these studios even brag about how to pull off this scheme at GDC conferences: [Quote from developer] 'Overdelivery is actually dangerous. With every release that you put out there, you're setting a pattern for your community and for your players. Because it's hard to tell a team, a team that has extra cycles and they have energy and they wanna do something amazing and know how to do it and it totally would be amazing and awesome for the game! Sometimes we have to tell them, like, we shouldn't ship this because it's an overdelivery. Beware of overdelivery, overdelivery is actually dangerous.' "

These are objective facts that people were ready to tear my throat out about during what I thought was a fact-based, adult debate earlier today. Instead, I just had people repeatedly say the same thing to me over and over: "But games still had bugs on console!" Which was something I never countered. I even agreed! My point, however, was that bugs in games were much rarer, and far less impactful to the overall experience of the game - and modern games are often released in a half-finished state, with bugs that massively impact gameplay - just look at Cyberpunk 2077. It's notorious for that very thing! And yet, more than one person was willing to twist my words, and take things out of context (repeatedly trying to nitpick things like Pokemon Gen 1 bugs - things that were not relevant to the discussion, as they were not bugs even remotely comparable to those in modern AAA games upon release) to desperately cling to some idea that console games were released in as bad of a state as modern games are? I don't know why, when console games would have literally killed consoles and gaming as a hobby, if they had been regularly released in as bad of a state as current digital/online only games currently are. It's a fact, and not an opinion that more games in the modern era release in a half-finished, buggy state that makes games unplayable upon release. That is not an opinion. Here's another article about it! (There's lots of videos/articles about this very thing, with just a cursory Google search.)

Yes, console games had bugs - and the ones notorious for those bugs that made story or gameplay basically impossible... bombed! A modern game, like Cyberpunk, that releases with massive bugs? Simply promises to keep patching the unfinished product, which you could not do on a physical product. This is a fact, and not an opinion. Someone claimed that console games would just make a better version, and re-release the game... which doesn't amount to much, because the game already has a bad rep, and no one will pay twice for the same thing (were your parents going to buy you the same $40-60 game a second time back then? Doubtful. No one in their right mind would.), nor would you trust that publisher a second time. That's not the same thing as releasing Cyberpunk in a half-made state, unplayable and bug-ridden and missing core/promised features, and just... finishing it over the next couple years after taking people's money for the half-baked product that wasn't what you promised. They're not asking you to pay for the game twice, they're just making you buy an unfinished product that won't be complete for another year or so (if it ever is). As the video states, there were two years of class action lawsuits - which I don't recall hearing about with console games, because you simply couldn't release only a partial part of a game you claimed was complete, and hope people stuck around for patches, because you couldn't just try and clean up your mess once a disc or cartridge was purchased. If there were incomplete textures, and you couldn't progress the story/engage in gameplay due to game-breaking bugs, that was it. You were screwed.

The modern era and advent of online-only products has led to AAA publishers releasing more and more unfinished products with game-breaking bugs because "we can fix it later"/it's cheaper to fix after launch/because executives simply don't care how it impacts the players, because they have pre-order money in their pockets already/they continue to mistreat the devs of the games, and force them to release unfinished products, and move on to the next cash-grab. These are facts. Not opinions.

Anyways, here's more fact-based sources. One

Two

Three...this video is even from five years ago! (And quotes someone from 8 years prior to that stating that: "The answer for us as publishers is to actually sell unfinished games..."

Four

Five

Next time you find yourself heated by facts that aren't opinions, don't attack the person dealing out the facts, and claim they said something they didn't say - especially if it's the exact opposite of something they said multiple times. Once you start taunting and being childish in a debate, it becomes clear you're not an adult, and shouldn't be partaking in serious, adult conversations - no matter the topic. Objective facts may make you mad, but hey - I'm mad that modern games release in a shitty state thanks to being fully online these days, and not releasing in a physical state that encourages Publishers to release a full, and mostly bug-free game (free of bugs that impact gameplay or story in a serious way, at least. The occasional NPC glitched into a wall or the sky isn't a huge deal, and a wacky texture here and there is mostly hilarious.) Anyways, Donald Trump simply attacks people who use facts in a debate! Don't be like Donald Trump. Don't choose to attack the other person, instead of using objective-based-facts to debate/discuss things. Debates shouldn't make you mad - they should be interesting, and enlightening, and you (or the other person, or all parties) should learn from them. And inevitably, in fact based discussions...someone is wrong! I'm often wrong. I like learning new things. But letting your emotions guide you in a fact based discussion that is very literal and not rooted in emotional appeals... just makes a mess.

[kimikaami]

"I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered," I whisper under my breath as I type out an essay on why those "damn kids are ungrateful towards fandom adults" posts are annoying and stupid.

Anyway.

1) those kids are few and far between, and it's a stupid strawman argument. Do you really think that's a common mindset? The majority of people are normal - they're also just the quietest. Obviously you don't have a bunch of kids going around talking about how great it is to have content made by adults for them to consume. No one thinks about that consciously. They're kids.

2) Even if I'm wrong and it is a big issue, kids can be dumb and should be allowed to have their stupid takes without you blasting them online. Its part of growing up. I'll see posts all the time about how the internet has warped our sense of privacy, about how we should all have the space to make mistakes and grow from it without it being made into a Thing and preserved online. And then we get full adults making posts like the ones I'm talking about. Incredible.

3) I thought we all agreed to buck the stupid generation wars thing? What happened to being better than the people who came before us?

4) why are you so bothered about the opinion of someone half your age anyway? Why do you need to make up a kid to be mad at?

[welcometocapitalism]

im worried that my previous ask is way too aggressive and might make you feel defensive and thats not helpful at all so i just want to explain that im so angry because it breaks my heart to see other people being violently harassed into submission just for saying something that isnt a popular opinion. you are quite literally being gaslit by a bunch of strangers who desperately dont want to have to think that hard about the material consequences of their own behaviors.

they are simplifying the issue in order to make you look unreasonable so that they can completely dismiss your opinion while giving you no way to defend yourself without making yourself look worse. its manipulative and coercive and vile. they have tricked you into condemning your own behavior and reinforcing that self doubt that THEY planted in you in the first place.

they are convincing you that you have to police yourself otherwise they will do it for you and they arent going to be nice about it.

they intentionally misunderstood what you were saying so that they could ignore the point you were making and thus avoid taking responsibility for their personal role in our capitalist society.

they are operating on this us vs them mindset of "good people" vs "bad people" and they think that they are a "good person" and that you are trying to maliciously assert that theyre actually a "bad person." its fascist behavior. they dont want to acknowledge their place in the web of life because then they have to be more careful about how they act and they simply do not want to. they think its their god given right to not have to do anything thats difficult and reflecting on how you are influenced by the oppressive systems you live in is not just difficult but uncomfortable!

you are forcing people to confront some very very uncomfortable truths about themselves and they are reacting the only way they know how: by lashing out at the people around them.

it is a reflection on THEM not YOU. their reaction doesnt say anything about you or the opinion you stated and everything about the experiences and expectations and knowledge that inform the way they think about the world around them.

i just dont feel comfortable standing by and watching this happen to someone else. so i dont know what it means to you but, i completely agree with your original point and i am more than happy to defend it if you dont feel comfortable doing so. i know how scary it can be to face down a mob of people who you know might turn to violence if you dont comply and i know most people dont find it as easy to take harassment as i do. i am more than willing to fight the fight if you cant.

idk just. be kinder to yourself. you cant let these people get to you. i knows it so fucking hard. its so so fucking hard. but you dont have to do it alone.

i hope youre okay.

hey fren, I've seen it all but I'm sorry I'm not gonna respond to all that, I'm very thankful for your kind thoughts and words but it's kinda a bit much 😅

just know we're on the very same track about the whole thing. It's absolutely hilarious what some people wrote to me about an already reworded opinion on pillows, and i can genuinely just laugh about that

this entire thread turned so badly into satire with so many layers that it could almost be considered an artistic expression. after all, this is the internet, which was kinda the original ordeal of the post, and I took it and made it 1000% funnier by writing too quickly and then people came and made it 10000% funnier by becoming embarrassingly entrenched in some random ass online discourse

I like to half jokingly call this kind of behavior 'internet sickness', since as you also noted you can find this kind of behavior all over the internet. people see an entire universe full of people that seemingly get the attention they don't, but humans are fueled with attention, so sometimes you see someone do literally anything for that tiny tad of attention, even if they don't mean it. this may sound familiar from the way I word my posts sometimes, because as I made clear as day, I'm not better than that sometimes.

Admittedly, I also suppose not all of the angry asks and comments would have been so hostile if tumblr would show late reposts with their comments on an original post more clearly, which isn't so easy. This is why I pinned yet another polarizing post about it with a comment about the situation 🤭 some people would rather click to start another shitstorm than click to find out there's no reason for them to freak out. But often in the internet people don't freak out of hostility, but because they realize (but refuse to accept) they identify with something about the cause in some way, so that would be a positive thing I suppose. It's up to each of us individually to grow from that.

i don't get hard feelings about these people, and genuinely as a former Twitter user I'm kinda used to it. it's just an annoyance at some point, but I suppose it's also the attention I was looking for 💁

After all, I get to post this lyrical masterpiece once more in a well fitting context

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

[liftcutie]

DNA: a basic guide

there’s been a lot of new/returning activity in the community, and though i’m somewhat new to DNAing myself, i thought i’d make a very basic overview, since i’ve seen a lot of lifters asking questions about it.

feel free to reblog with additions/your own experiences!

MASSIVE DISCLAIMER:

i am not the authority on anything i’m about to write. i’m a stranger on the internet! as you should with all posts on liftblr, take what i’m about to say with a relative grain of salt, and do your own research and risk assessment.

what does “DNA” mean?

“DNA” stands for “did not arrive.” it’s used as shorthand to describe a common type of online refund fraud.

how does it work/how do i do it?

there’s no special process. it’s relatively simple:

the customer places a legitimate online order for their target item/items. however, when the package arrives, the customer then contacts customer service and claims the parcel didn’t show up in order to receive a fraudulent refund.

unlike shoplifting, with DNAs, a legitimate purchase has to occur in order for the scam to take place.

what are the consequences if i get caught?

this is very important: DNAing, no matter how small the amount, is a type of fraud. based on where you live, the legal penalties for getting caught will vary—it can be difficult to find information online, but i would encourage you to do as much research as possible.

however, even if companies don’t take legal action, refund scamming can result in your account(s) or address being blacklisted from certain online stores. i’ve heard certain companies (amazon) will even ban IPs (which basically means they ban your whole computer, rather than just an account on it). i’ve also heard UPS and other mail carriers can/do ban the addresses of repeat offenders if a suspicious amount of investigations (see below) have been filed.

i personally haven’t heard of anyone experiencing trouble from their bank’s end, but i would stay vigilant nonetheless.

other important terminology

EB: this stands for “empty box.” it’s a variant of DNAing where, instead of claiming the parcel didn’t arrive, you claim the box itself came empty.

partial DNA: partial DNA is when you claim only a portion of your order didn’t arrive. for example, you might say you received a dress you ordered, but were missing a shirt or a pair of shoes—the company then refunds you for only the “missing” items.

investigation: an investigation occurs when the company files a report with the carrier regarding the missing package. this can take days to weeks to process. from what i understand, most of these investigations are either protocol or purely meant to scare you off, and most of the time go absolutely nowhere.

how long should i wait after my order is placed/delivered to contact customer service?

it depends. many people suggest waiting longer so the company is less likely to conduct an investigation (it’s virtually useless after a certain point). however, i’ve also had some successes doing it the day of delivery; use your best judgement.

what do i say to customer service?

act natural! put yourself in the mindset of someone whose order has genuinely failed to show up. be disappointed but polite, and above all firm in what you want. many DNAs are as simple as:

YOU: hello, i placed an order on your site about a week and a half ago. i got an email saying my package was delivered, but i didn’t receive my order.

CS: i’m sorry to hear that. let me check on that for you... i can offer you a reshipment or a refund. which would you prefer?

YOU: a refund, please.

a common mistake is over-explanation. don’t offer more than what customer service asks—an innocent person likely wouldn’t.

i’m not going to go in-depth with methods or “what-ifs” on this post, but there are plenty of great tips on liftblr and reddit. however, if you end up facing suspicion, you will need the ability to stick to a believable story if you want your money back.

what stores can i DNA?

there are lots of stores you can (relatively) safely DNA, with varying degrees of difficulty. from what i’ve read and my own experiences, most people agree that:

shein/romwe*

glossier

lush

hollister

abercrombie

victoria’s secret

are easy places to start and build your confidence. if you’re curious about a certain store, ask around! lots of people are willing to share their experiences. or check out my new blog—@dna-stories!

*shein and romwe will always open an investigation to try and scare you off—however, i have literally never heard of one of these investigations going anywhere. don’t let it intimidate you!

ANOTHER HUGE DISCLAIMER:

just like shoplifting, it’s important to keep greed and recklessness in check. there’s always a risk with DNAing; be smart, and never spend what you can’t afford to lose. if you need that $600 for rent, don’t blow it on bathing suits and bank on your refund—there’s always a chance you won’t get your money back, and you don’t want to accidentally put yourself in a bad position.

where can i find more tips?

reddit has a lot of good information, particularly about amazon, though be mindful of the age of certain threads; some things are bound to outdated. this is a master list of store information i’ve referred to before (but again, take everything with a grain of salt)!

there are also a ton of lifters who post helpful tips on here. i’ve been referring to @heavenlylifter, @urfavoritelifter and @fairylift’s blogs a lot—and many others, too!

i hope this post serves as a helpful intro to DNAing!

stay safe, and happy scamming!

[mari-writes]

📚🍷💕

Keiji scowls as he pours himself another glass of wine. He takes a long sip, leaning forward in his chair before looking back into his laptop camera. 

The lighting in his apartment kind of sucks right now, but it’s a livestream—his followers don’t tune in to these for perfect setups or scripts. They’re here to discuss things and listen to Keiji’s unfiltered opinions.

“And what was up with that rabbit that Anne carried around everywhere?” Keiji’s voice rises to an almost unrecognizable pitch. “I mean, what purpose did it actually serve? None!”

The chat is moving fast, and Keiji struggles trying to keep up with the responses. He ignores the handful of people laughing at him for his slightly inebriated state. Most are agreeing with him, or expressing their own feelings. 

“Yes, exactly!” He nods, highlighting one commenter. “She does keep smirking and rolling her eyes like a third-rate Lizzie Bennett! That’s not my Anne Elliot!” 

Keiji huffs, taking another drink before sighing dramatically. “Of course, I’m not upset at Dakota. She was just doing what she was told. Though, if she and the rest of the actors did read the book, then they should’ve know how unfaithful this film was…”

Keiji continues to rant, refilling his wine glass again and taking messy bites of his favorite pickled plum onigri. He is aware that he is sort of making a fool of himself on the internet, but he doesn’t care.

The recent Netflix adaptation of Persuasion, Keiji’s favorite Jane Austen book, is an absolute travesty. A disgrace. It completely misses the point of the story, it’s message, the main character and the love interest.

Ugh, it pisses him off so much!

“Keiji, are you still upset about that movie?” Bokuto, having just gotten home from evening volleyball practice, plops himself down next to Keiji. He waves to the camera and winks. The chat explodes, greeting him with a barrage of heart and flame emojis.

“Yes, and I’m still mad.” Keiji frowns into his already half-empty glass. “It’s my favorite Austen story, and they completely ruined it. It’s a crime of the highest order!”

Bokuto nods seriously. “Yeah, sounds like it.”

Keiji keeps the discussion going, at one point telling his followers the story of how he’d gotten into a fight with a professor over the importance of Austen’s work.

“He literally stood there, saying Austen’s books were ‘fluff’ and of little cultural significance!” Keiji cries. “He couldn’t see past his narrow minded, sexist mindset!”

Bokuto puts his fist up in solidarity. “You tell him, babe! Fight the power!”

It’s nearly ten when Keiji finally decides to finally end the stream. He feels a migraine coming on, probably from a combination of anger, work exhaustion and staring at a screen for almost two hours. He also has the hiccups, which are progressively getting worse.

“Okay, thanks everyone.” He offers a short bow to the camera. “I’ll be back with a new book review next week. Take care.”

He shuts his laptop and immediately turns to burrow his face into Bokuto’s shoulder. The man kisses the top of his curls in response. “You okay there, Keiji?”

“Yeah,” he hiccups once, twice, then sighs. “It’s just… the story means so much to me. I’m sad a lot of people will only watch the film and completely misunderstand It.”

Bokuto’s strong arms wrap around his frame. “Aww, Keiji! Don’t worry. That’s what your channel is for, right? To get more people into books! I bet there are some people who haven’t read Persuasion who will pick it up after hearing you rave about it.”

Keiji hums. “I hope so.”

He feels Bokuto shift, reaching around him, and suddenly Keiji’s limited edition, hardback copy of Persuasion—the one Bokuto’s older sister had bought for him at Foyle’s in London—lands in his lap. He’d taken it out at the start of his stream to read some excerpts.

He glances at the book, then at his boyfriend, raising one eyebrow. 

“No matter what crap Hollywood or Netflix pulls, you can always go back and read the original.” Bokuto grins. “Right, Keiji?”

Keiji blinks, fingers curling lovingly around the novel’s delicate spine. He hiccups, one last time, before pulling the book to his chest. He can’t help but smile.

“Yeah. Always.”

“There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.” —Jane Austen, “Persuasion (1817) 

// Fun fact: The story of Keiji arguing with a literature professor over Austen is actually something that happened to me. I’m still angry at that guy 😆 Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed! 🙏🥰 Also if you want more booktuber!Akaashi please read my fic on A03!!!

[avissapiens]

Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.” It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

[halorocks1214]

there’s a lot to be said about dream, and both sides (fans and critics alike) have made very valid points about him and his tenure into internet fame. he tends to be brash and his lack of filter gets him into more trouble than anyone enjoys, but he’s also just a dude and a good friend trying do his best to make people’s day a little bit brighter. i know i share my fair amount of both positive and negative things to say (not the biggest fan of how he handles mcc, but in other areas of content he’s really chill and fun to listen to)

now that i’ve branched off into non-dsmp spaces (which are wonderful and full of great people don’t get me wrong) i’ve got to say: the critics feel like they’ve become the stans but worse

the twt stans? yeah, most people agree they suck. tumblr stans agree they suck. if i pick a random mcytblr blog and ask them “do you think twitter sucks” i have a high chance of getting back “yeah twitter definitely sucks”

but if you take twitter out of the equation, we have places like tumblr and reddit that are rife with critics. hell, if we put twitter back in we even have the over-the-top antis that think its okay to send death threats to dream/dsmp fans. and unlike the twt stans, they are free from criticism because idk, its dream i guess? 

the stans are rightfully laughed at for being ridiculous, but the critics seem to be allowed to run amuck and say whatever they want. i’ll see an opinion thrown out there that’s easily disproven, but anyone who dares to try and point that out is lambasted as an “annoying stan” and that “dream isn’t free from criticism”

this includes dsmp blogs. half the time i’ll find a one that has a little asterisk on stuff that screams “WE LIKE THESE PEOPLE BUT WE DON’T LIKE DREAM DON’T WORRY WE’RE THE SAFE ONES” even though literally everyone on that server is his friend and talks positively about him

it is overwhelming. some kind of ego check needs to happen /lh, because i’ve found certain non-dsmp blogs to be just as insufferable and unbelievable as the twitter stans themselves. and it’s fostering a mindset that’s uncomfortable at best. here’s a post i found while looking at cute allay stuff:

do you think this post is sarcastic? nope, it’s legitimate. this feels like that one twitter user that dug up a grave to use the bones to “put a curse” on kaceytron except that the energy is coming from an anti. and it’s frustrating, because instead of having genuine criticisms of dream being taken into account, we have people throwing baseless accusations out there which leads to no growth and more hostility from everyone

listen, i get it. i really do. even i find it annoying how much hc stuff is just dsmp crossovers. it sucks, and you have every right to say you hate dsmp and how you don’t want the fans in your spaces because you find them that annoying /gen

but then you can’t wonder why non-dsmp fandoms are so small in number and complain about how dsmp is "too popular”. if you constantly shit on mostly harmless people who also enjoy blockmen like yourself, then they’re going to stay in the lane they know they are welcomed in. you get more flies with honey or whatever

dream is apart of this community. even if it hurts to admit, mcyt is so often considered a synonym to dream because he sparked an insurgence of mcyt content. yes, the captain has been here for a long time, the hermits have been here for a long time, achievement hunter has been going strong for nearly a decade now, and people should respect that, but it’s unfair to deny that dream added a flare that allowed many others (yes, even your faves) to expand the genre in new and exciting ways

you are not free from your own biases. please remember that

[awed-frog]

What I find scary as fuck is how unwaveringly anti two state solution the loudest pro Palestine voices on the internet are. What do they think is going to happen to Israeli Jews under Palestinian rule? Do they think it's going to be any different than the rampant antisemitism faced by Jews in any other Middle Eastern country (which led to such a great influx of Middle Eastern Jewish refugees to Israel in the 1950s in the first place)? Or do they (rightfully) consider Israel an apartheid state but not Islamic states’ treatment of dhimmi under Sharia law?

I have much empathy for the Palestinian plight and I used to think antisemitism was only ever brought up as an excuse to deflect any criticism of Israel. But the more things escalate in Palestine, the more comfortable people become in being openly antisemitic and the more it dawns on me what Israelis mean when they say it's essential for a Jewish state to exist. Yes, Israel should absolutely be held accountable for its war crimes against Palestinians. But seeing liberals talk about Holocaust victims fleeing Europe, people who were open to negotiations with Arabs and a two state solution so they could make a home in the land of their ancestors as “colonizers” is just heartless

I have a lot of issues with current (American) left-wing activism, but its enthusiastic adoption of Noble Savage tropes and unquestioning parroting of radical Islamist points are probably at the top of my list. And while many people are just young, a lot of others should really know better.

As for the current situation, look - personally I don’t see the whole ‘colonizer’ mindset as useful at all. I think that, realistically, every nation state in the world got where it is by appropriating someone else’s land and massacring or assimilating minority communities. That’s how things work. And before nation states there were kingdoms, and before that villages and tribes and groups of wandering half-apes, and this is a thing that always happens: sooner or later, you’re going to want or need more land. Maybe yours got barren, or submerged by a flood, or invaded by someone else. Maybe your community grew too big. Or maybe you have a visionary or an asshole chief who’s all like, ‘If we had more pastures then we’d have a godzillion horses and no one would ever go hungry again’ - in a way, the why doesn’t even matter. The realpolitik here is that these things happen and have happened a lot over the last three centuries or so, which means the number one item on our list as democratic governments (term used loosely and optimistically) is always the same: making sure people are fed and making sure they know their voice counts so they don’t start to question why the country exists at all. 

(It may sound cynical, but we often lose sight of the fact there’s a difference between ‘moral discussion about moral implications of moral choices’ and ‘practical decision we can bring to a negotiation table with enemies and opponents’. Sometimes you’re right but you need to compromise anyway, and that’s something else that’s never going to change.) 

In the end, this is what 99.9% of people care about: if your kids are happy, if you have a house and a job, and if you feel yourself represented and part of the country you live in (and know you can peacefully demand meaningful change if you need to), you don’t give that many fucks about everything else. That’s why, on the whole, most separatist movements go nowhere: because while many people agree on a very basic human principle (“Things would be much better if everyone was like me and thought like me”), they’re not that keen to trade their stability and security for economic chaos or even civil war...for what? All nation states, in the end, are fictional creations, and deep down everyone understands it: when you’re leading a decently happy life, the colour of your passport doesn’t really matter all that much.

So the issue here is not even who’s right and who’s wrong. Of course it’s important to recognize even old crimes and tragedies: it’s definitely one of the steps towards healing and peace and (let’s be optimistic again) the reason why international courts exist, but the immediate priority is always keeping people safe. I mean if you had to make right all the border insanity that went down even in the 20th century, you wouldn’t have the time or resources to do anything else, and, more importantly, you would only create more hostility and conflict in the process. The issue is, a) let’s try not to make more mess in the future and mostly b) let’s make sure everyone is happy and feels heard where he is. If Israel had a system like, idk, Switzerland, with tons of shared wealth and a Parliament full of different voices and minority people getting federal subsidies to preserve their unique cultures and traditions, there would be zero violence. Like of course some people would still resent Israel is there in the first place, and others would resent Israel existing not as a Jewish state but as a nation with sizable Muslim and Christian minorities or whatever else, but it wouldn’t come to civil war because everyone would have too much to lose. 

Unfortunately, in many cases it’s just too late to undo the initial damage. The best we can work towards is ensuring people are safe, can build good lives and are politically represented. The main problem we have now in many regions around the world - like the Middle East - is that lots of powerful people have zero interest not only in righting historical wrongs but also in ensuring literal human beings are not killed in the streets. And as long as their power is made stronger by chaos, hatred and violence, we’re not going to get anywhere.

[sisterssafespace]

Salaam ukhti, I do not know what to do. I’ve been talking to a guy for a while now. My mother knows about him she’s happy for us to be wed. Alhamdulilah

So, this guy & I are from different cultures. I’m african he’s indian & I have no problem with that. In terms of his deen he’s perfect for me. The last step was for him to meet my father; I spoke to my father before they met told him he’s asian not african. He seemed completely okay with it at the time. Anyway, on the day he rang him and he hung up to call me. He said a lot of negative things I won’t repeat.

But, my issue is that he didn’t even try to meet him because of his ethnicity? The worse part is I have a strained relationship with him already (we don’t live together). So, the fact he couldn’t even meet a prospective guy for me his daughter his youngest child makes it worse.

Ever since then, we haven’t been speaking and he’s being really rude to me. Constantly making sly remarks about me because he asked what I did. I was angry because he knows he put me in a horrible situation. Since I had to go back to the guy to tell him my father couldn’t come because of an ‘emergency’.

My mother came up with the solution of her older brother going to meet the guy instead. To be honest, I understand why because my uncle speaks better english so they can communicate which I’m grateful for. But, it’s upsetting knowing my dad didn’t even try and I do not know if my uncle can even mehr me if my dad doesn’t say yes.

- ☁️

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister, I hope you are feeling better by the time you are reading this.

Let me start by saying that your ask hit a not close to home for I can relate on some points. Allahu al'mustaān.

Now, before getting into the story, let me just answer your last question about whether your uncle (brother to your mom) could marry you, if your father doesn't cooperate. Well, I know I clarified in the bio and the opening post that this page doesn't give fatwahs but this is not a fatwah as the fatwah is already there and all over the internet , and it's ' common knowledge ' unfortunately no, the brother of the mother doesn't have the authority to marry the girl off in Islam. In fact, there is a sequence or list of ' wali-s ' who can marry her and in case the father wasn't capable of doing that, then it is the paternal grandfather, then the brother, then the half brother (from her father's side), then her father's brother, then her father's half-brother, then her paternal cousin (son of her father's brother), then son of her father's half-brother, then in case all of them are not available or they don't agree, then it's taken up to the Judge. See, there is no family member from the mother's side in that lineage. Just to be clear.

However, we should consider alllllll the other options that you have before thinking of the worst case scenario, sis. Because even if your father wasn't the greatest man and you don't have the strongest relationship with him, you don't want to start this important chapter of your life on the wrong foot, by upsetting him more, or ruining your chances to fix things with him. It will only complicate the situation more. And keep in mind: it is not permissible to get married without a wali, as prophet Muhammad ﷺ said : There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.

Now let's see what we are dealing with, I don't know the reasons why your father is having this position - but one can only imagine.. However, Islam is innocent from all these ideologies, interracial and mixed marriage were never a problem in Islam and Allah swt and his Prophet ﷺ never forbid nor advised against marrying someone from a different ethnicity. In fact, the Prophet ﷺ said : "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So, if the only reason why your father is not approving of this marriage is that the potential partner is from a different ethnicity, then your father is in the wrong and he will be accountable on his part. But there isn't much you can do without his approval. So what can you do instead? Is there any uncles from your father's side? A grandfather? An authoritarian family member? Or your local Imam or someone that your father actually values and listens to that you can actually talk to? To convince him to at least give the man a chance? And yes your uncle from your mother's side could talk to the guy and get to know him and maybe then he could tell your father about his qualities and how he is in shaa Allah a perfect fit for you, but again, he can't marry you off.

Now, I am sharing with you the feedback of a sister who is Alhamdulillah in a mixed marriage, she has been thru your experience and is now Alhamdulillah happily married, may Allah bless her and her family : "I understand her pain. They're judging him before even meeting him.. I don't know if there's much she can do tho. I think it's most likely that her father needs time to get used to the idea. He didn't expect her to marry out of the culture, that's a hard pill to slick for a lot of elder people. The advice I can give is to give it time and pray for it. Intercultural relationships is almost normal for our generation but it isn't for the generations before us. We have to keep that in consideration.

Also, if her uncle gets to meet the guy, maybe he can tell her father how great he is especially when it comes to deen. And her mother knows her father the best, she can eventually also speak in on his mindset and make him see that he's wrong to judge someone he hasn't even met.

I pray that her father 'wakes up' and realizes that culture doesn't matter. The only thing that will bring them to jannah, is their deen, and alhamdulillah he's perfect for her deen-wise. May Allah ease their affairs and bring them together in marriage. ❤️"

-----------------

I will finish with this meaningful insight from islamqa.org "While family members may think they are acting in the best interest of their children, there are many cases in which the refusal of parents is based on incorrect presumptions and understandings that stem from their own, distinct experiences and contexts that their children may not necessarily share.

In such cases, if someone does believe they have genuinely found someone suitable for marriage, whether from a different race/culture or not, and their parents still prove to be difficult, they should try to convince them with wisdom and tact, and take all appropriate means to make them see the merits of the decision.

Parents certainly have a right to be concerned about the future of their children, but since it is not the parents entering into the marriage, children also need to make sure they are not being forced into decisions that will adversely effect them in the future."

And most importantly (from the same source) "You should know that marriages are destined by Allah, All-Wise. So if this marriage is facilitated for you, then it will happen, and if not, then it won’t. And in either case, there is wisdom behind this that you are not aware of, so you should pray salat al-istikharah for ease in this matter if it should be good for you. It is best that you take the path of benevolence and kindness in these kinds of issues and don’t rush things lest you aggravate the problems."

To conclude, my dear sister, I KNOW that when we are inn love/ or when we start getting attached to someone, we let our imagination run wild, we build hopes and dreams involving them, we want to be with them asap and we let ourselves get carried away, I know for a fact that you'd want to rush things and just get married to this guy and get it over with, I feel you, I relate to you, I understand you perfectly. But sometimes that's not how life works for a) there's Allah's timing for everything and b) there's Allah's plan for us. We think we are choosing and we think we are planning but it's just an illusion, at the end of the day it's only Allah's plan that works. That's why I pray that your choice matches what Allah swt has already chosen for you, and your plan confirms with Allah's plan for you. Please please please pray Istikhara times and times and times again, tell your guy to pray Istikhara as well, and sis, duāa is your only way out of this. Try to pray Tahajjud (night prayer) if you can, I heard a saying a while ago that anyone who has any need from Allah swt should never miss a Tahajjud prayer. In the quiet of the last third of the night, when everyone else is sleeping, just you and your broken words and you crying heart sincerely and humbling asking for Allah's help and guidance. It works miracles ✨

In shaa Allah kheir my dear, may Allah swt guide you, and bring what's kheir for you closer, and grant you what your heart is wishing for. May Allah swt have mercy on your heart and not allow it to be broken over this matter. Ameen. 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Hello there <3. I find it best to ignore most of the discourse nowadays. At least the one where there’s no good reason for it or where it’s about things that happened a long time ago.

Sometimes I lay awake at night and remember that one weird thing I said months ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. And I have to tell myself surely no-one else remembers that. Now for cc’s that one weird thing gets brought up constantly and some people base their entire perception of said cc around it.

Most of these people won’t change their mindset. I found that even me explaining the other side of the argument in some occasions got people really mad. And it’s not worth the trouble. I think it’s easy to clear up misinformation (like pointing out clips where out of context or people claiming something didn’t happen when you have evidence it did.) and I even have small clips saved ‘just in case’, but I leave it at that.

The internet isn’t fond of mature discussions or admitting they overreacted. Half of the internet just slapped some word on a cc (r4cist, h0m0ph0be, P3do. etc.) and called it a day. With that I mean that it’s gotten to the point where some people don’t even know what a cc did to get such title. (Not people who actually came to the conclusion based on evidence.) People really need to stop using these words lightly. (but that’s a discussion for another day.)

I hope they’ll mature, but until than it’s okay to block people who bring discourse up often. Reminder that despite these people being really loud and prominent they’re not always right. Stay safe and don’t surround yourself in too much negativity it’s proven to be bad for you.

-anon <3

(Also I sensor words because I don’t know if tumblr blacklisted them in asks.)

yeah, this is the sad truth, and what's sadder is i do recognize a lot of these people on the internet DO mean well but haven't been taught well on how to respond to discourse like this. think about it, we've never been taught about how to deal with internet discourse anywhere except for personal experience.

i hope people eventually find that turning point in their lives to realize their toxic attachment to internet discourse. i've realized mine earlier this year, and lately i've managed my internet life much better. sure, i still discuss discourse every now and then, but i realized just... ignoring it feels so good.

this isn't just about twitter - there's a lot of discourse on tumblr that i see. we're not clear of it either lmfao. at this point, i've just taught myself to scroll past and try my best to not give it any gravity. most discourse has such a heavy weight on it because we choose it to affect us - i do agree there's a sense of sadness that comes up naturally from reading them, but dwelling on them more and more is a big choice on our parts too.

honestly just... make your internet experience especially catered to your wellbeing. we don't want to go down our own dsmp villain arc once we let every minor inconvenience dictate our lives lmfao

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Honestly i agree with that post of yours. tbh i think most people who are getting mad over it are the ones who think radical feminism is making fun of genderists on tumblr. like obviously radical feminism is fully against gender ideology but it’s not some sort of movement whose sole and only purpose is to go against it on the internet. Some People on here are getting much too comfortable calling themselves radfems after sharing a few memes about TiMs and insulting a 14 year old who says she’s nonbinary. Even if there Weren’t any trans people, radical feminism would still exist and there would still be a need for it. framing radical feminism as only being anti-trans is basically playing into the misinformation people spread about it and detracts from our ability to have useful conversations. I’d much rather have a constructive discussion on, let’s say the porn industry, with a woman who has a gender identity, than call her an insult, further cementing her belief that radical feminism is out to get her.

(anon's language is obviously not the language I would use to talk about trans people but i can't control what words other people put in my inbox and also i know her intentions aren't bad)

Radical feminism as it is now lacks very basic empathy for trans people. In a way that makes sense as an immediate reaction because many trans people and people who are activists for trans rights lack empathy with us (see how easy everyone talks about killing and choking terfs etc) and will say and do incredibly misogynistic things but it making sense as a human emotional reaction does not make it good or justifiable (neither is misogyny in the supposed name of trans rights, obviously, anyone who cannot conceive of advocating for the rights of trans people without falling back on incredibly misogynistic ideas and who won't listen to criticism of that is nothing but a run of the mill self-serving misogynist).

For years both groups have been isolating one another each getting more and more extreme in their thinking and language and actions to the point that now they can't even communicate with each other properly (see how each of you use different buzzwords to mean the same thing and will keep stubbornly doing so even when it prevents effective communication within the well-intentioned people within each side).

This leads to a mindset that's basically tribal, but feminism is a political movement for women's liberation, that means everyone affected by misogyny. A political movement for the liberation of half the human race from the oppressive institutions set up and the violence done by the other half can't be tribal.

Some people seem to wield the "well, so and so who does this and that can't BE a radical feminism" like attaining 'radical feminist' status is some kind of prize or badge of honour. BUT 'radical feminist' isn't a chosen identity you have to perform or a club one belongs to, it's a set of principles and ideas (that so many people who call themselves radfems now don't even follow themselves) You either agree with them or not, you either act in accordance with them or not and you can even agree with one of them and not the others. I'm a lot less interested in who "is" a radical feminist in an identitarian way, than in who agrees with this or that radical feminist idea, and who incorporates that in their actions and feminist activist. Ie: what are your actual politics are much more important to any political movement than what political label you use. What do you believe? What do you do?

There have always been different branches of feminism, but people are allowed not to subscribe to any one of them and people are allowed to take one idea of radical feminism they agree with, and another one of marxist feminism they also agree with and so on and so forth and all of those different ideas end up forming their own personal political beliefs. And the people with different political beliefs are still allowed to participate in radical feminist actions, or socialist organizing, or even liberal feminists organizing even if they don't neatly fit perfectly any of those labels. We conceptualize these different currents because we need to categorize and organize different concepts in our own head to make sense of them, but that doesn't mean they constitute some kind of exclusive club.

People are allowed to participate in politics with groups they agree with even if they don't agree with everything they say. A trans man may have his own reasons to criticize and be against the sex industry, a thought that would usually fall under radfem ideas, but he may not agree with radfem conceptions of sex and gender due to being trans. He is still allowed to participate/attend events and seminars and read theory about the harms of the sex industry even if he's not a Pure Radical Feminist because of his ideas on gender. He'd be then actively participating in radical feminist thought and action, are you going to tell me that he can't because of his gender identity? Even when his beliefs about the harms of the sex industry and sex trafficking and the violence against women in it are in earnest?

And this is a sorta extreme example. The one that my post was referring to was people who believe in basically everything radical feminist teaches but they continue to identify as trans/nb despite that. It's even more bonkers to me to say that they can't be radical feminists when they're people who believe in gender abolition and recognize that sex matters (their sex also, their bodies! Their own lived experiences that they're talking about!) in the way one is treated by the patriarchy and in who suffers from misogyny! But they're dysphoric and use other pronouns oh no! Out of the VIP club!

People have to analyze whether they care more about the label or about trying to build bridges with other female/afab people also affected by misogyny. They also have to analyze whether the discomfort with trans people getting involved with radfem activism and ideas has more to do with their discomfort with trans people as a whole period. Surprise, despite the violent misogyny of a lot of queer activists in the name of trans rights it turns out that trans people are not a monolith and they also have different opinions about gender and sex!

[gogysglasses-archive]

Ramble anon here back at it again with a long one!! So, as anyone in the mcyt fandom can pretty much agree, the internet can be a really great place for making friends. We see this in the ccs we watch but also in the fandom community itself!! I really admire the dream team friendship especially because it reminds me a lot of what friendships I myself have been able to make online because of minecraft. I used to play on a smaller server from early 2017 up until late 2020 and met a lot of people who have changed my life that im still in contact with now while playing!! (ive even traveled across the country to meet one of them!) I just think the dream team is a great example of how real friendships online can be. (Idk how common the mindset of “people you meet on the internet can’t be your friends” is anymore, but when I was first starting to connect online that’s what my parents were preaching, this mindset may have changed more within the past half decade or so) also, the fact that Sapnap and Dream met each other when they were preteens is also really interesting/cool to me! a friendship that lasts that long is sure to last a lifetime, and I’m really happy for them all, George included!! Speaking of George, I sympathize heavily with him not being able to go visit his friends. I was in a relationship for almost two years with one of my online friends and I only got to see them twice irl during that time, the first time having to wait til during our 8th month anniversary! I can’t imagine knowing people you consider to be your best friends for almost 5 years and not being able to see them irl because of a pandemic :(( I’m just so glad that they’ve chosen to share their friendship with us all because it really is something truly special. What we see is only a small snippet of their interactions as a whole but we can still tell that they all love and care deeply about each other and want to see each other succeed. When the restrictions lessen, I am excited to see them all (responsibly) meet up and complete the dream team trio irl !! (And also get Sapnap and George to finally stop bickering about their height. though, the shorter will probably find a way to accuse the eventually-proven taller one of the two to be rigging the measurement or something /lh)

hello ramble anon! prepare for a ramble response!

that is SO cool that you’ve made such good friends online, i’m very jealous. Traveling to meet your online friend must have been such a cool experience. I have a similar experience of when i was younger, like i remember having entire assemblies in elementary school about online safety and not talking to strangers. (which is important don’t get me wrong) but no one ever talks about the benefit of meeting people online! I’ve met a few people here and there online but it’s nothing compared to what the dteam has. it’s kinda weird cuz i’ve always been involved in fandom culture on the sidelines but this is the first fandom i have actively participated in, and like talked to people in haha. I’m stilling figuring out how to make fandom friends (where tf are you guys finding servers to join that aren’t full of small children?) but it’s so cool to see how many people have met because of mcyt!!

I’m in such awe of the dream team and their friendship, i think that’s why so many people are invested in them is because we love their friendship so much! Sapnap and Dream meeting when they were 12/13 online and now they’re living together has got to be the coolest fucking thing ever and it makes me so so so happy for them. You’re right, it does break my heart that george can’t live with them yet but he will one day. For now we just have to live with the angst of george being sad he can’t be with his best friends :’( what they have is really cool and i agree with you, i’m so glad they’ve shared even just a snippet of it with us. Once the pandemic is over they’re gonna have so much fun, and i’m so excited for them to go and do things and vlog it and just be best friends it’ll be amazing. also, i have a feeling george and sapnap will be almost exactly the same height, and they will never shut up about it. it’ll be about who’s hair is bigger or who is wearing what shoes that day. and dream will tower over both of them.