#how do atheists have meaning in their lives
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Alright, this post has gotten super big and attracted tons of controversy and weird opinions so I thought I would clarify my position one last time :
No a militarized intervention, be it UN, US or whoever else, isn't a good idea. Bombs are never the answer, violence is never the answer, forcing an enormous change on people who's culture and ideas you don't understand is never the answer.
It seems the Malala Fund is seen as controversial for reasons that are unknown to me at the moment. In the meantime donating to Women for Afghan Women or to RAWA for those who can or want is still a good thing.
No Islam and religions aren't necessarily the problem. I am atheist myself, although raised in Christianity and while I absolutely believe that religion can be used and is used as a weapon in the world today, I do not believe that blaming them (instead of the people fostering an unsafe environment using them) is helpful.
Afghan Women don't necessarily want to live European/US women and that should not be the goal. The goal is for them to be safe, first and foremost, and have a choice as to what they want. The biggest thing that feminism can do is listen to Afghan Women. What do they need ? What can we provide ? They are the ones living in the situation, they know best than anybody.
Afghan Women being part of an Islamic culture doesn't mean that everything happening to them is normal or desired. The Taliban regime arrived by force and rules by force. Their society is not built on solid foundations, and without change it's certain that it won't last long. The problem is the damage they will do until it crumbles, and the damage that will be done while it's happening. The main victim of catastrophes are always the ones at the bottom of the social pyramid and in Afghanistan, it's Women. That's why we're fighting with them.
To clarify : I am against the very idea of a social pyramid. But because it exists, it has to be taken into account when deciding how to deal with things and how to provoke change.
I've had some wild comments about transidenty somehow so : to know if Afghan trans people are in danger, ask Afghan trans people. If you look at what witnesses and refugees are saying, all trans people are in danger. No they're not the danger. No transwomen are not just men trying to touch women by hiding as women. They face the same stigma as any other woman, and can be treated even worse when outed. How did you all decide they were the problem or that Afghan Women could just "become trans" to escape the oppressive regime like. How. Please. What the hell.
Stop being mean. I'm just a person who made a post on tumblr. This post may have gotten big but I still don't have the influence of other bloggers or people reblogging this post. I can't monitor everything. I can't even look at all the reblog because I don't have time. I can't answer everything. If you feel wronged because somebody said something in the reblogs, confront them, not me.
Once again I insist : I tried to educate myself but I can't guarantee I knew where to look and remembered it all correctly. Once again, I am just a random person on tumblr. If you think I should truly know something, you can go to my asks directly, otherwise there's a chance I won't see it. I don't know everything, be kind.
I'm not american. Stop bringing the whole "Americans say this because they want to invade" argument, I'm not fucking American. I don't think of myself as a saviour. I don't think of myself as better. I just made a post about an info I saw that was bugging me, and needed to express just how wrong it felt somewhere. Don't assume I have or should have all the answers. I'm not even old enough to vote in my country. Keep that in mind when interacting.
This is one post out of hundreds people will see today. Yes it has an impact, but that doesn't mean it somehow makes me responsible for every single deranged idea somebody may have when seeing this. The average person will just like this post and move on with their lives, whether you think it's good or not. When interacting remember that I can't be expected to carry everything on one post's shoulder, nor that this post will somehow determine how people see Afghan Women for the next 30 years to come.
The amount of comments and people deciding that I was responsible for all of this because I made one fucking post about the subject is making me sick so. This is the last time I interact with my own post. I will stop responding or looking at reblogs and comments. I'll keep this post up because I do hope it reaches somebody who decides to donate or join local action to help but for the sake of my mental health (once again, just a random teenager online) I will not update it any longer.
And please remember that supporting local actions will always be more helpful than arguing with some strangers on the internet
This has been a psa or whatever
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't speak to each other Afghanistan
Women. Can't. Speak. To. Each. Other. In. Afghanistan.
No conversations
No hearing another woman's voice, no hearing her speak or pray
No way to share experiences no way to ask questions no way to organize
And if you ban education then they can't communicate by writing either
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't communicate with other women in Afghanistan
People can't communicate with other people
That's how low we've gotten
Please don't forget about them.
#afghanistan#feminism#clarifications#what the hell man#I've had people telling me I was somehow directly responsible for people wanting war on afghanistan#or that all muslim people are the problem#go outside#talk to muslim people#talk to afghan people#talk to women#and talk to transgender people#don't just base your opinions on he she said they said#i've made that mistake before and am learning not to do it again#but also I'm not even a fucking adult yet#so keep that in mind when interacting
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WHAT UP THE CONFLATION OF SUFFERING WITH LOVE IS EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE
Tags on this post, by @saint-ambrosef and @mariposasmonarch, isolated here because they accidentally hit on EXACTLY what I think brought about my original line of thinking:
#of course christ dying wasn't “necessary” #but damn if it isnt the most visible and obvious way to show someone that you love them #a person snapping their fingers and giving you everything you wanted isn't nearly as impactful as that person willingly enduring personal #suffering in order to give it to you #thats what we mean when we say “christ died for us” #not because he strictly had to but because he wanted to show us just how far his love goes #we puny humans can know in our lowest moments that god incarnated himself to be brutally murdered #just to make his “i love you” absolutely clear #its not a guilt trip...it's reassurance in its purest form #<- YES #and if this isn’t the most beautiful and touching expression of True Love #the Selfless Love #Love which is Willing the Good for the other for no reason but just that
I disagree with this. All of it. I genuinely think that dying for someone is a shitty and stupid gift, especially when you didn't need to do it and it provides them with no tangible benefit. I think this is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to teach your children.
Martyrdom and suffering are not inherent expressions of love.
I believe in good for others for the sake of good, and kindness for the sake of kindness. But what always throws me for a loop is the Christian idea that suffering on its own is a form of good. I disagree. I disagree with my whole heart.
As a child, I was taught that the best thing I could be is Christlike. And I was Not Okay.
I lived my life ready to set myself on fire to prevent someone else from feeling a chill, and this impulse still follows me over a decade after I lost my faith. (There were other factors also, but religion played a big role in this attitude.)
It has been devastating to my health, nearly to the point of death on multiple occasions. The idea that the best and purest form of love is to suffer - It's gross. I think it's gross. I don't feel loved; I feel like if someone tortured themselves to death and then I was told to rejoice, for they did it all for me! And I'm like... oh. I didn't... ask for that?
I've lived my entire adult life without proper healthcare. I would argue that someone snapping their fingers and giving me everything I ever wanted would actually be a LOT better for me than if they suffered and died. Like, magnitudes better.
I believe that the purest form of love is to LIVE for another person.
I've done that. I do that. I've seen people suffer pain worse than death and still not die just because they loved me. And I felt loved not because they were suffering but because they were doing whatever it took to live by my side and to live in happiness.
Sacrifice is a part of love, but it is not inherently loving. It has to have a reason or it is just pure performative loss, which actually does feel like a guilt trip!
I just-- I've gotten a ton of completely different dogmatic answers today, but to me, these tags are what strikes at the heart of it all.
The idea that we need to place every single other living thing before ourselves even and perhaps especially to the point of self-destruction.
For an example, in the Catholic church, most of the Saints are martyrs! And they were taught to us like action heroes with superpowers and everything! My little sister with their childhood OCD collected cards of saints like they were Pokemon cards! Which is really cute until you consider that they were a compulsive child idolizing a pantheon of people whose defining trait was brutal self-sacrificial death. They were one of the most anxious children I've ever met.
For me, as an autistic kid, the idea that suffering was somehow inherently good helped me to endure a lot more extreme sensory pain than I otherwise would have. I was terribly proud of my ability to endure pain. But now as an adult with crippling cPTSD, I can't help but notice that none of those sacrifices I made actually helped anyone!
I don't personally believe that gods are real. But if I did, I think I'd be awfully angry at the Christian god for killing himself and having the nerve to say it was for me.
I've literally had a loved one who believed they were a burden offer to kill themselves for me. It was a heinous idea for a gift, and I told them so. They were terribly disappointed when I chose the other, much more difficult and beautiful option, which was to live for each other. Live and grow and love in the light. To plant gardens for each other and cook them into meals. To build and nurture and know. THAT is the most beautiful and sure form of love. I will accept no substitutes.
I hope someday someone shows you love in a way that feels more beautiful to you than crucifixion - literal or metaphysical. You deserve love that isn't defined by pain.
#original#religious trauma#former catholic#ex christian#suicide tw#suicidal ideation#they didn't kill themselves and they're doing a lot better now and my partner and i are so terribly proud of them#any other ex catholics reading this - your happiness matters just as much as the person next to you#you are worthy of love outside of suffering#the best way to be a good person is not through pain but through love. and those are absolutely not the same thing.#there is no greater love you could put into the world then by choosing to live in it and live kindly#I think these tags really got to me cuz they are written like they were written by me in a parallel universe where I stayed Catholic#which. hey. at least means they're well written! ;)#reminds me a lot of how Jean Valjean at the end of Les Mis sacrifices himself for no reason even tho the thing that would#ACTUALLY have been the best for cosette would be to have a not dead dad#and once you're an atheist the fact that the metaphorical light of heaven shines on his face at the end is kind of cold comfort#it is an explicitly christlike death - SO much crucifixion imagery. but also.... he didn't need to???? and he doesn't get to resurrect??
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the thing about antisemitism that offends me the most (outside of, you know, horrific violence) is the sense of *ownership* over judaism from non-jewish, especially (in my experience) christian, society. it’s the evangelicals holding seders and the atheists casually joking about “YHWH”. it’s the sense that to them, jews are nothing but a prequel. we are irrelevant, and therefore in the public domain. in more overt examples, it’s holocaust inversion and jokes about “the goyim”. they look at us and say, “all that was yours now belongs to me.” it’s the assumption that our life and culture is open to all, and that we are somehow greedy by not letting them have it.
when we do exist to christian society, it’s as a means to an end: “good thing the jews are still around, otherwise how would they all be gathered in zion?”, or its being treated as a relic, as living replicas of the Old Times: “those silly jews, they’re stuck living in the past!”
it’s dehumanizing, and frustrating, and i hate it.
we had avraham first. we had yaakov and sarai and it is. still. ours. you shouldn’t get to pretend like we don’t exist anymore. we aren’t extinct, no matter how hard some people wished we were, and that isn’t going to change.
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One nerd's musing about Chinese religion and "respect"
-I try to stay away from fandom discourse, but, much like how you can smell the stench from a dumpster fire without walking into said dumpster fire, I've noticed something that seemed to come up a lot in western JTTW + adjacent fandoms: "respect Chinese religion".
-Usually as a reason for why you shouldn't ship a character, because of fucking course it's shipping discourse too.
-And my first reaction is "Man, you are taking Chinese religion too darn seriously, more than people who are born and raised in China."
-My second reaction is "I mean, most of us are atheist/agnostic by default anyways, with a good number of what I'd call 'atheist/agnostics with superstitions': people who said they were not religious, yet believed in Fengshui or divinations and burnt incense at temples for good luck."
-My third reaction: "But why do I get the feeling that when you mention 'Respect', you are thinking about something completely different?"
-Then I reread an essay from Anthony C. Yu, "Religion and Literature in China: The "Obscure Way" of Journey to the West", and the metaphorical lightbulb just lit up over my head.
(Everything below applies more to Daoism + associated folk religions, but by the time most classic Chinese vernacular novels were written, the blending of the three religions had become well and truly mainstream.)
(The conception of gods differs from dynasty to dynasty. What I'm describing here is mostly based on Ming and Qing ones; if you went back to Han or pre-Qin times, most of these would not apply.)
(I am one of the "atheist/agnostic by default" people. I just have an interest in this kind of stuff. I am also just one Chinese person, and an actual Daoist/Buddhist/Religion Studies researcher would probably have a lot more valuable information and perspective to offer when it comes to contemporary practices and worship. Like any people on the internet: take my words with a grain of salt.)
-Even in the past, when society was far less secularized, Chinese gods are not omniscient, perfect beings whose worship is a solemn, humorless affair. Some's worship are Serious Business, but that has more to do with the sort of gods they are and the patronage they enjoy, not godhood in and of itself.
-And even the ones that you are supposed to "treat seriously" are still very human. To use an analogy I've used plenty of times before: you respect and fear them in the same way you'd respect and fear an emperor's official, or the emperor himself, because if you don't, you are not gonna like the consequences.
-However, unlike Jesus, the emperor & his officials were capable of being temperamental, flawed, or an outright asshole, divine or not. Ideally, they wouldn't be, and if you were one of the "serious" believers——people who actually got an official permit, became ordained clergy, and went to live in a temple, you were unlikely to think of your gods in that manner.
-But it wasn't a complete, utter impossibility. The lower you go in the pantheon, the closer you get to popular religion, the less "serious" the gods and their worship become. By that, I mean general attitude, not sincerity of faith. You still shouldn't be rude to them, but, well, they are more likely to take a joke in stride, or participate in the "vulgar" pleasures of commoners because they weren't as bound to Confucian moral standards or religious disciplines.
-To stretch the same analogy further: you should still respect your village head, they could still give your ass a good spanking for being a disrespectful brat, but you were not obligated to get on your knees and kowtow to them like you would do in front of a provincial magistrate, the emperor's minister, or the emperor himself, nor did they have the power to chop your head off just because you were rude.
-On the other hand, the emperor would never visit a random peasant just to help them fix their broken plow or treat them to a nice meal, but your village head could, and your relationship would probably be warmer and a lot more personal as a result.
-Your respect for them was more likely to stem from the things they actually did for you and the village as a whole, instead of something owed to this distant, powerful authority you might never get to see in your lifetime, but could change its course with a single stroke of a brush.
-Now exchange "village head" for your run-of-the-mill Tudis and Chenghuangs and friendly neighborhood spirits (because yes, people worshipped yaoguais for the exact same reasons), emperor + his officials for the Celestial Bureaucracy, and you'd have a basic idea of how Chinese religions worked on the ground level.
-This is far from absolute: maybe your village head was a spiteful old bastard who loved bullying his juniors, maybe your regional magistrate was an honest, upright man who could enjoy a good drink and a good laugh, maybe the emperor was a lenient one and wouldn't chop your head off for petty offenses. But their general degree of power over you and the closeness of your relationships still apply.
-Complicating the matter further, some folk gods (like Wutong) were worshipped not because they brought blessings, but because they were the divine equivalent of gangsters running a protection racket: you basically bribed them with offerings so they'd leave you alone and not wreck your shit. Famous people who died violently and were posthumously deified often fell into this category——shockingly enough, Guan Yu used to be one such god!
-Yeah, kinda like how your average guy could become an official through the imperial examinations, so could humans become gods through posthumous worship, or cultivate themselves into immortals and Enlightened beings.
-Some immortals aren't qualified for, or interested in a position in the Celestial Bureaucracy——they are the equivalent of your hermits, your cloistered Daoist priests, your common literati who kept trying and failing the exams. But some do get a job offer and gladly take it.
-Anyways, back to my original point: that's why it's so absurd when people pull the "Respect Chinese Religion1!!1!" card and immediately follow up with "Would you do X to Jesus?"
-Um, there are a lot of things you can do with Chinese gods that I'm pretty sure you can't do with Jesus. Like worshipping him side by side with Buddha and Confucius (Lao Tzu). Or inviting him to possess you and drink copious amount of alcohol (Tang-ki mediums in SEA). Or genderbend him into a woman over the course of several centuries because folks just like that version of Jesus better (Guan Yin/Avalokitesvara).
-But most importantly, Chinese religions are kinda a "free market" where you could pick and choose between gods, based on their vicinity to you and how efficient they were at answering prayers. You respect them because they'll help you out, you aren't an asshole and know your manners, and pissing them off is a bad idea in general, not because they are some omnipotent, perfect beings who demand exclusive and total reverence.
-A lot of the worship was also, well, very "practical" and almost transactional in nature: leave offerings to Great Immortal Hu, and he doesn't steal your imperial seal while you aren't looking. Perform the rites right and meditate on a Thunder General's visage, and you can temporarily channel said deity's power. Get this talisman for your kids at Bixia Yuanjun's temple, and they'll be protected from smallpox.
-"Faith alone" or "Scripture alone" is seldom the reason people worship popular deities. Even the obsession with afterlife wasn't about the eternal destination of your soul, and more about reducing the potential duration of the prison sentence for you and your loved ones so you can move on faster and reincarnate into a better life.
-Also, there isn't a single "canon" of scriptures. Many popular gods don't show up in Daoist literature until much later. Daoist scriptures often came up with their own gigantic pantheons, full of gods no one had heard of prior to said book, or enjoyed no worship in temples whatsoever.
-In the same way famous dead people could become gods via worship, famous fictional characters could, too, become gods of folk religion——FSYY's pantheon was very influential on popular worship, but that doesn't mean you should take the novels as actual scriptures.
-Like, God-Demon novels are to orthodox Daoism/Buddhism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian doctrines, except no priests had actually built a Church of Saint Beatrice, while Daoists did put FSYY characters into their temples. By their very nature, the worship that stemmed from these books is not on the same level of "seriousness" as, say, the Tiantai school of Buddhism and their veneration of the Lotus Sutra.
-At the risk of being guilty of the same insertion of Christianity where it doesn't belong: You don't cite Dante's Inferno in a theological debate, nor would any self-respecting pastor preach it to churchgoers on a Sunday.
-Similarly, you don't use JTTW or FSYY as your sole evidence for why something is "disrespectful to Chinese religion/tradition" when many practitioners of said religions won't treat them as anything more than fantasy novels.
-In fact, let's use Tripitaka as an example. The historical Xuanzang was an extraordinarily talented, faithful, and determined monk. In JTTW, he was a caricature of a Confucian scholar in a Buddhist kasaya and served the same narrative function as Princess Peach in a Mario game.
-Does the presence of satire alone make JTTW anti-Buddhist, or its religious allegories less poignant? I'd say no. Should you take it as seriously as actual Buddhist sutras, when the book didn't even take itself 100% seriously? Also no.
-To expand further on the idea of "seriousness": even outside of vernacular novels, practitioners are not beholden to a universal set of strict religious laws and taboos.
-Both Daoism and Buddhism had what we called "cloistered" and "non-cloistered" adherents; only the former needed to follow their religious laws and (usually) took a vow of celibacy.
-Certain paths of Daoist cultivation allow for alcohol and sexual activities (thanks @ruibaozha for the info), and some immortals, like Lv Dongbin, had a well-established "playboy" reputation in folklore.
-Though it was rarer for Buddhism and very misunderstood, esoteric variants of it did utilize sexual imageries and sex. And, again, most of the above would not apply if you weren't among the cloistered and ordained clergy.
-Furthermore, not even the worship of gods is mandatory! You could just be a Daoist who was really into internal alchemy, cultivating your body and mind in order to prolong your lifespan and, ideally, attain immortality.
-This idea of "respect" as…for a lack of better words, No Fun & R18 Stuff Allowed, you must treat all divinity with fearful reverence and put yourself completely at their mercy, is NOT the norm in Chinese religious traditions.
-There are different degrees and types of respect, and not every god is supposed to be treated like the Supreme Heavenly Emperor himself during an imperial ceremony; the gods are capable of cracking a joke, and so are we!
TL;DR: Religions are complicated, and you aren't respecting Chinese religions by acting like a stereotypical Puritan over popular Chinese deities and their fictional portrayals.
#chinese religion#chinese mythology#chinese folklore#fandom discourse#journey to the west#xiyouji#investiture of the gods#fengshen yanyi
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Chakras check-in
All about your chakras current energy and blockages
☆How to chose the perfect pile for you?
Okay, Take a deep breathe. Close your eyes, clear your mind and ask the question in your head. You can ask your spirit guides to guide for the information that is meant for you.
☆ Who this reading applies for?
- All people there's nothing specific.
- If you are not into spirituality don't read.
☆ Note:
- Thank you for 600 followers. I'm very grateful that our community is growing in number. Also I'm happy to connect to those beautiful souls💕.
- I'm feeling soft so I chose the pink theme 💗.
- I'm also very happy and grateful for your positive feedbacks. I feel proud when the reading resonates with a lot of people.
- I felt very called to do this reading even though there's another reading that is almost ready but I chose to do this because I felt like my intuition is drawn to it.
- Put on the seat belt because this is going to be a long reading.
Pile 1 - Bunny nose 🐇
Your current energy:
Hello pile 1, how are you? I hope your are doing good. Right off the bat I think that you may (in the past) had a rough childhood where there was not enough financial stability. I see that you went through poverty and now you are trying to recover from it. This piles energy is very strong, swift and young. Also I feel like I'm intimidated, you intimidate people pile 1 I feel the dread all of sudden. You may look scary? Or your appearance make people uncomfortable? People may have claimed that you are intimidating and your aura is so frightening. I see that you may be young or your energy is young I'm picking up on someone between 17 to 30? The age is not important but it could resonates. I don't know I feel intimidated and in awe of you I feel also suffocated, do you have respiratory issues pile 1? Tell me in the comments. Anyways, back to the reading; I feel also that my mind suddenly went blank. I feel like I wanted to say soooo much things and it all went blank. You may have trouble in concentrating, I feel also that some of you suffer from sudden panic attacks. Okay, I feel like some of you are very unhappy with how things are in your home. Your family is so annoying or they interfere with your life a little bit too much. I see that you feel unhappy with them and some of you are quite talented. You are a master manifestor pile 1. You can manifest your dreams, I see also that after the energy have gone (I mean the intimidation) I felt warm. Maybe this is your personality. You may frighten people at first and when they warm up to you they feel warm. I see that you are someone who is very skillful, I see that you are creative, enthusiastic, and determined. You may feel very stimulated in philosophical conversations, I see that you may like debates that aim to change people's points of view. I'm sensing major INTJ, ENTP vibe. Unapologetically scary, sassy and smart too. I'm sensing that some of you already live far away from their family. You may be a college student living in dorms and doing their own things. (The energy is so intense omg).
Confirmation placements for you:
Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces, gemini, Venus in taurus. Mars in sagittarius or mars dominant, neptune, uranus, mercury dominant. Sun or moon in the 2nd, 3rd, 9th, 12th house.
Your crown chakra
Well, I see that some of you are atheist and if not then you may have lost faith in God. Pile 1 you have a spiritual gift and you are connected to God more than you think. God always listen to you and God give you updates too but you are unaware of them. I feel like whenever your intuition tell you something you think that it is pure crab and you think it is just your inner dialog. But it is more than that! Pile 1 I see that God or universe is trying to heal you so it send you a very sweet and caring spirit guide. Your guide loves you and want you to know that no matter how much you deny its existence they'll always be there to guide you. They are telling you that they want to show you the magic or manifestation, they always listen to you talking and rambling about stuff and they want me to tell you that "be careful of what you say because it will come true". They also want you to listen to the updates given to you and never ignore them.
Your third eye chakra
I told you pile 1, you may be clairvoyance. Because your third eye is open and the energy is flowing through it. But the problem is your connection to the universe or God, you need to balance the crown chakra in order for you to get regular updates and guidance from the universe. I see also that because your third eye is open you can see through people. Some of you may see auras and if not them you can see through people's intentions.
Your throat chakra
Your throat chakra is blocked. I see that you may have a crush on someone but you are too discouraged by approaching them and telling them how you feel. I see also that you may have problems in vocalizing what you want during intimacy because you are afraid that your partner or crush or bf won't help or care about you. I see that some of you at first think that romance is cringe but when you warm up to someone...you show them how you truly feel. You need time to heal this chakra but it will be worth it. For some of you (not all) want to get married so bad because you feel so lonely and you want someone to be in your life. But you are hesitant to tell anyone because of that blockage. See how blocked chakras affect our life? You need to heal it.
Your heart chakra
Hmmm, I see that you are too attached to the idea of love and not love itself. You may have toxic attachment and you don't know how to deal with it. I see that you do not take serious practical steps to heal them but instead you cage your heart and build WALLS around it so you don't get hurt. I see also that you may have been disappointed a lot in love and relationships. Some of you got betrayed from your friends and due to this; your heart chakra got blocked too. I see that you may go for unconventional relationships just because you don't want to be vulnerable and because of this that relationship probably end up and it is just a shallow connection. Like you see that one person who want love sooo bad but they are too afraid to let someone in? That's what I'm seeing. You may even rationalize your feelings because they are too cringe.
Your Solar plexus chakra
I see that your self esteem is swaying between I'm that confident b*tch/motherf*cker and I will never be enough. But regardless, you have inner faith because you believe in yourself and your own potential. No matter how much you have been hurt and discarded you'll always get on your feet stronger. Love will heal you, I see that you may be someone who feels very happy and confident when their partner complement them. Also you have a duality to yourself, sometimes you are confident and happy other times you are just so gloomy and sad. Also you know when to give and when to take you have boundaries and you believe in them. I don't feel like this chakra is blocked more likely you need to work on your self esteem so you can have a strong foundation.
Your sacral chakra
You may be young as the energy check told me. But anyways, I feel like you are someone who is very creative and at the same time you may channel your sexual energy into art or work it out. I see also that your sexual needs aren't being met. In other words you may be single since birth or chronically single. I see that this chakra is not blocked but the thing is you may be someone who is ashamed of their sexual or you may consider things like sex as something sinful or bad. Sometimes, your sexual energy take the best out of you. I see that because you refuse to acknowledge your needs you end up rushing to the bathroom or your room to touch yourself and end of story. You may have a lot of sexual energy but you try soo hard to ignore it.
Your root chakra
I see that you may be someone (because in the energy check, you suffered from your family) so now you feel like you don't belong anywhere. I see that you believe that you need to diplomatic and smart when dealing with people and sometimes you doubt their intentions because your crown chakras energy is unacknowledged also you have a lot of anxiety and pessimism of who is going to treat you right and who won't. People here are quite unsure of where they want to belong and above this, there's this view that life is only black. You look at life realistically to the point of melancholy which is not so good for your mental health. Also you have trust issues, you tend to doubt that any opportunity driven to you is going to destroy or disappoint you even if it is for your OWN good. Thank you for reading this and take care💕.
Pile 2 - Angel energy 🪄🔮
Your current energy:
Hello pile 2. Let's start your reading. I see that there was a period of stagnation and insecurity that haunted you for the past few weeks. You might have felt insecure and all your old bad beliefs resurfaced again into your day to day life. But lately; I see that you are actively trying to look at yourself in a different light. Not just this but also you are trying to be more optimistic. I see that you might just registered to the gym and you are trying to take care of your health. Also I see that you are feeling a little nostalgic but at the same time you are looking at the thing that you are nostalgic for in a detached way. What I mean is this thing you are nostalgic for is no longer affecting you in a positive or negative way. I see also that you might have dated someone with earth placements and you might be a water sign or placements yourself. I see that you thought that this relationship was meant to be but you felt sad when it was over. I am talking about soul contracts, this person was only meant for a short period of time to teach you a lesson and leave. But don't worry, good things will arrive in God's timing. Oh... now I got it! Maybe your started working out so you can distract yourself from what happened! I won't say this person is not coming back, because they always do. Anyways, Some of you may be saving money for a trip somewhere green (maybe a green place) idk why green just flashed in front of my mind eye. I think it is a park out of the state? A forest? Mountain? I'm not sure but this place is very famous of it's green nature.
Confirmation this is your pile:
Leo, Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Taurus as placements in your chart. Venus in Aries, sun in Scorpio, Neptune, Sun, Mars, Jupiter dominant in your chart. Your sun or moon in the 1st, 9th, 5th, 4th, 8th, 2nd house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
First; I see that your crown chakra is blocked pile 2. I feel like you are disconnected from the creator or God or the universe (I'm not sure what you believe in) you might be believing in more than one creator and some of you have multiple deity that you believe in. I see that you get spontaneous downloads from the source but you chose to ignore it because you feel like the creator have turned their back on you. I see that you have a toxic subconscious beliefs about the creator and the energy in your crown chakra is stagnant. You might pour your focus on materialistic things and you forget that the creator is going to help you. The creator want you to know that you are not alone, and you should try to heal your subconscious thoughts about them.
Your third eye chakra
I see that you have a great imagination, you might have inherited your psychic abilities from your grandmother or grandfather. I see that one of them was a healer, and in this life time you are meant to be a healer too. I see also that as I said above you might be too materialistic or too realistic that you don't see this as a gift because you don't want to connect with it. I see that because you focus too much on this side your abilities diminish but one day; you'll get a wake up call and you'll connect to that side again.
Your throat chakra
Okay, your throat chakra is not blocked at all which is good. You might be someone who say the truth directly without sugar coating. I see that you hate lying to people and you hate being lied to which frustrate you too much. Also I see that you are someone who is very cunning and smart, you might be claircognizant which means that the downloads you receive are through clear knowing. You know things, you just know everything (the keyboard kept typing the words despite me deleting it for 5 times). Also what you say can become real so be careful, your words are like magic. Speak with caution.
Your heart chakra
Your chakra is not that blocked but still you carry a lot of negative beliefs about God and love. I see that you are someone who is very deep, very emotional but you don't let people see that side of you. I see that you are building a wall around your heart because you are afraid of getting hurt. I see also that when you are in love you become a poet (here comes the throat chakra part) you know how to express verbally how much you love your person. I see also that romantic relationships are meant to awaken the divine in you. Also it meant to teach you how to be balanced emotionally.
Your solar plexus chakra
Okay, this chakra is blocked. First you tend to TRY to balance your views on yourself BUT you either fell in a delusional episode that you are daring and confident and then your inner critic appear and you start talking negatively to yourself. I see also that your views on yourself are very much linked to other people around you. Also you might be someone who is very dependent on other people's praise and words of affirmation to get through your inner-critic you might be one of those people who needs constant reassurance that your partner is still in love with you and they see you beautiful. Which can be good and bad at the same time.
Your sacral chakra
Hmmm, you might be someone who lack stamina. I see that one round can make you feel like they are ten. But anyways, even with that you might be someone who is considered very fertile so be careful of unplanned pregnancy if you are a woman and if you are a man (you don't have enough stamina) I'm not judging. Also, you might get very protective of your sexuality. In other words; you don't have sex with random strangers. You need commitment to feel comfortable. I'm not seeing blockages here it might be underactive (the chakra).
Your root chakra
(I've written this paragraph 3 times and each time I save it; tumblr delete it. I got very impatient but at least I hope this will resonate with you).
I see that you started getting very comfortable in your loneliness. This came as a result of a very devastating breakup that caused you to stay away from people and detach from them. Well baby, this chakra is blocked too. I see that you don't even feel comfortable in your own family. I see also that growing up, your surroundings wasn't safe enough for you to grow and blossom. As a result in your current energy, you either avoid people (build a wall around you) or trying to find someone who have the same communication style as you. Also I see that you might be afraid of repeating the same experiences which drive you away from your soul family. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
Pile 3 - Angel wings 🫀
Your current energy:
Hello lovelies, how are you?. First; I don't know why I'm feeling hesitant. I kept typing question marks even though I have no questions right now. Do you have any questions that you feel like you can't find answer to? I feel like this pile have been overthinking a lot. You may be pursuing someone or you might be pursued by someone I'm not really sure, so take what resonates okay? Let's get into the reading. Anyways, I feel like you might be in a connection that you feel it is destined to happen. Maybe this connection is a soulmate connection or you are feeling a soul tie to this person. I feel like this person or you (the one who is going to pursue the other) is quite detached. Like yeah, I love you and I want you BUT I will not put everything in my life on hold for you. It is like this person know their worth and their persuasion is coming from a place of love not neediness or desperation. Whatever the case I see a beautiful relationship that will blossom into something long term. I see that this person sees you their queen or king. I see also that they want to feel you and enjoy life pleasures with you (food, fine clothes, s*x etc..). So, their approach is "I want you because I think we are compatible not because you are going to do a list of things for me. I see that if your or their persuasion succeeded (omg I keep typing question marks! It is like this person or you want the other sooo bad but they are unsure where to start!) It is going to be a very beautiful and healthy relationship. Also there's passion and a lot of it. This person is sooo excited to be with you. Like they want you right now but they are trying to control their fires. I see that whenever they want to text they say yo themselves "hold your horses and act cool" then they squeal because they can't talk to you. Also, I feel a strong mint taste in my mouth all of sudden. Maybe you use breath Refresher that taste like mint? If you or the person is pursuing you does that tell me in the comments deal?
Confirmation placements for you:
Gemini, Cancer, very strong Taurus energy omg, sagittarius. Mars, venus, saturn as dominant planets in your chart. Stallium in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 9th house in your chart.
Your crown chakra
I feel like you guys are resistant to divine downloads. I feel like God/universe or anything you believe in are trying to guide you and show you the way but you are too stubborn to follow. Which is causing you to get stuck! I see that you feel emotionally imbalanced and you are very anxious. Guys, you need to trust the signs that you are seeing, you are not deluding yourself by seeing and wanting to follow them. I keep thinking of "catastrophizing" so, maybe you are complicating things on your own. Stop doing that, it is frustrating!. You are keeping yourself stuck because you think that there's no way but your own way which is not really working in your favor but against you. This chakra is not blocked, you are resistant to it. Be open and listen the universe is talking to you but you don't want to LISTEN!.
Your third eye chakra
Anyways, your ancestors was very spiritual and they passed you this gift which is Clairvoyance. You can see things too in your dreams, in your third eye. You can search for it if you want to. I feel like you get visions and images that flashes in front of your mind eye but you think that you are imagining things. I see that if you nurtured your talent you'll be a great psychic. You can search on YouTube to see how to develop them but be careful! Some people do it the wrong way and they become insane, let it develop naturally but be careful. This chakra is not blocked, it is developing but you are unaware of it. Also, you are getting psychic messages from your twin flame or soulmate constantly. Enjoy them💕
Your throat chakra
Looking at your throat chakra I feel like you keep things to yourself in hope that you can solve them on your own. I see that you might be very observant of others and details cannot go unnoticed by you. But somehow I feel like when it comes to your emotions you become very sensitive and you don't know how to talk it out? I feel like you guys may be so in love but you can't express your feelings? You keep everything to yourself because you think that no one cares? Dear pile 3 the right person cares as much as you do so don't burden yourself with sadness💕. Anyways, I see that you may also be a bit timid when it comes to say your truth. This chakra us underdeveloped. Try to balance it.
Your heart chakra
I see that you crave commitment but somehow you are afraid of committing to someone who is not going to give you the emotional fulfillment that you dreamed of. I see that you are ready to commit or at least ready for your first long term relationship. I see that you put in a lot of work to heal this chakra. If you are asking about the past; you totally healed and moved on. I see also that right now your heart chakra is balanced and open for love. You want to love without attachment and detachment which is great yeayyy👏🏻.
Your solar plexus
I feel like you still have insecurities from the past. Especially about how you look physically. I see that you don't trust yourself or have self confidence. I see that when you get compliment from someone you think that they are lying to you and they are just being nice. But it is more than that. I see that sometimes you get a strong surge of confidence and other times you just get sooo insecure you wish to hide in the darkest hole in the world. I see that in romantic relationships, you tend to really care about the opposite sex view when they look at you. And you overthink A LOT about how you present yourself to people. You need to balance this chakra or else you'll be in a lot of doubts of yourself especially in romantic relationships.
Your sacral chakra
I see that you get sudden urges to have s*x multiple times per day. I see also that you are motivated by emotions. EMOTIONS turns you ON so freaking bad. I feel like when you are in LOVE you want to do it with your partner non-stop and other times when you are alone you ignore that part of you like it never existed. Also you tend to be lazy when it comes to that thing so you just distract yourself. Also I feel like you are someone who is very fertile with good sexual drive but you don't know how to channel your sexual energy into anything. Try to channel it into craft (any) and see the results.
Your root chakra
Hmmm, I see that you have a LOT of people that you know. Basically; I feel like you know everyone everywhere. I think you are the type of person that can get along with everyone easily. Also your relationships with others are quite balanced. This chakra is very balanced but sometimes you tend to get lazy and overwhelmed by change. Give yourself some time and everything will be alright. You might be someone who moved a lot from house to house during your childhood? I think that you feel very tired if you have to even change furniture right now, this feeling is a result of childhood. Thank you for reading and take care💕.
Pile 4 - Lace teddy 🧸
Your current energy
Hello pile 4, welcome to your reading. (Note: this reading is a message for a specific audience, especially for people who are on a twin flame journey since I got many cards that was referring to that. If you are NOT on a twin flame journey then this pile might not be for you). Okay let's start; I see that you have unfinished business with your twin. This person, I am picking up on wants to reconnect with you. If you are in no contact/ separation right now. I see that they want to reconnect with you and tell you about the work that they have done and that they are very overwhelmed without you. I feel like (look I really don't know the stages of twin flame but I guess it is the last meeting before you go your separate ways). I see that you two are not meant to be in each others life. I see that you'll probably either reconnect and heal together and forgive what happened in the past and move on. I'm not seeing abandonment here; no. I see that both of you will talk things over and about the amount of frustration that both of you faced in your life without the other but at some point you'll realize that they or you are no longer (emotionally or mentally) want to be involved in each other's life. I see also that if you chose to move on from them you'll be faced with two people one of them have fire placements and the other have air placements and you can chose one of them to be in a healthy fulfilling relationship with. I see that your next relationship (if you decided to move on from your twin) will be very peaceful and balanced. You have the choice pile 4. Chose wisely.
Confirmation that this reading is for you:
Sagittarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Gemini, Aries, Pisces, Aquarius as signs for them or you. Jupiter, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, Pluto as dominant planets in your chart. Your sun or moon is in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 12th,9th, 11th house in your natal chart.
Your crown chakra
I think you guys get a spontaneous downloads from the universe or God. Some of you do really know how to work and interpret them and actually believe in that. I see that you see God or the universe as salvation. Some people in this pile are religious (whatever your religion). And you do really pray and worship a deity or a God. This chakra is not blocked but you need to balance it a little bit by meditation and connect to the source.
Your third eye chakra
Guys... why are you forcing your third eye to open? I feel like some of you are really focused on forcing it to open and you do those YouTube exercises to open it. Guys this exercises are going to overwhelm your third eye and as a result the energy in your third eye will be resistant and shattered? I don't know, whatever you are doing is not in your favor. Let it be; it'll open on it's own. Don't force it. If it open suddenly you won't like what you are going to see. I've warned you.
Your throat chakra
I see that this chakra was blocked before and unbalanced. I see that you worked really hard on balancing it. Maybe you were someone who played the victim and put all your bad luck on others and now I feel you stopped blaming people on your circumstances and took the lead to heal. You took your power back. I see also that you are now someone who doesn't sugar coat, you give plain truth to others which is good as long as they can take it. Also, I see that you keep nurturing this chakra, Good for you pile 4 👏🏻.
Your heart chakra
Okay, I see that this chakra is kind of imbalanced. I see that you anxiously hold to people in your life. You might have anxious attachment style and also I see possessiveness. You might be too possessive of people in your life. You are a control freak to people in your life. You need to acknowledge that people are not a private property for you to own. Try to balance this chakra so you can have more closeness and trust in your relationships.
Your Solar plexus
You have high self esteem. I see that your caregiver was really aware of that part. The part of your own identity. I see someone with strong identity. Even if your caregivers didn't nurture that, you have healed and built yourself a strong character foundation. I see that sometimes people mistaken your high self esteem of being egoistic. Others just appreciate how good is that in you. This chakra is not blocked.
Your Sacral chakra
Hmm, I see that you guys have had a terrible past that affected you in a bad way. I see that you might have had trauma regarding your sexuality. I see that there was either beliefs or incident that really made you fear intimacy. But, I feel like you have healed it. I see that right now you are very open with your sexuality and you healed the shame of intimacy. And if not then I see that you right it out ( you channel your sexual energy into art). Which is wonderful.
Your root chakra
This chakra is blocked. Why? I see that in this pile people feel like they don't belong anywhere. I see that you overthink the tiniest interactions with other people. I see that you also feel discouraged and emotionally imbalanced. I feel like the problem is in your beliefs pile 4. Your beliefs about belonging is what make you suffer. I see that many of you feel stuck in life or in a circumstance that you feel that you cannot leave. I see that you feel also disappointed because your dream life is in fact a dream and nothing change. Honey, you need to work in order to get that life nothing comes for free. Take care and thank you for reading it💕.
Post date: 9th of Nov-2024 / Sat
*Feedback is appreciated
#free divination#pick a card#free tarot#pick a pile#divination#divination readings#metaphysical#tarot pac#pick a picture#tarotblr#tarot reading
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08/16/2024
Our deacon shared this anecdote last week at Mass. It's a little different each time I hear it, but the moral is always the same.
___
JOKE-OGRAPHY:
1. This cartoon is based on a widespread but often mutated anecdote. There are lots of versions, so I'm not sure what the original story is (share it in the comments if you know), but the two versions I heard recently go thuswise:
(1) An atheist goes up to a Christian and says, "If I believed what you say you believe about Judgment Day and the fate of those who reject Christ, I would crawl across the world on broken glass, begging every single person to repent."
(2) A Catholic and a Protestant walk together, but as they pass a Catholic church, the Catholic bows and makes the Sign of the Cross, as a sign of respect for the Eucharist inside. His Protestant friend says, "If I believed what you say you believe about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, I would crawl to that altar on my hands and knees."
(Breakdown) In every version of the story I've heard, there are two characters: a faithful person and an accuser of some kind. The faithful is usually doing some small gesture of their faith, which the accuser sees as insufficient for the level of belief the faithful claims to have. I want to clarify that no one expects for evangelists to walk on broken glass forever to preach to everyone in the entire world, or for Catholics to crawl up and worship at every tabernacle they pass on a drive. We're human, so we need to find ways to manifest worship or evangelism while also going about our normal healthy lives with each other. Sometimes those ways are imperfect and small, and that's okay, as long as we're really trying. The accuser's point is hyperbolic, but nonetheless poignant.
(Moral) No matter which version of the story you hear, I think the question it poses remains the same: "Is our faith more than just talk?" It's easy to say we believe in God, but what does that belief do? It's a monumental claim, isn't it? Maybe the MOST monumental claim you could make. It seems like it should have a monumental impact on EVERYTHING we do, but instead, life just kind of moves along. How can we dare to claim that we actually believe? What does believing even mean, if it doesn't manifest itself in more than our words? Big questions from such a small story.
2. Our deacon recited the Eucharist-version of this story last week at Mass, and it made me want to illustrate it. I'm sorry this cartoon isn't gut-bustingly hilarious. Here, let me make it up to you with a fun joke. Knock knock.
#catholic#christian#comic#cartoon#catholic memes#christian memes#tomics#priest#professor#wholesome#faith#religion#tomics comics
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idk if you’ve done this yet but like
i just need an mc that’s just sexually frustrated and lowkey touch startled like hello, you live with the living embodiment of Lust, that’s gotta hurt especially when he’s talkin bout his latest hookup while gossiping and mc’s just like “yeh that sounds.. like you had a wonderful time” words just so fulla jealousy and hurt
okay big word wall, im sorry, it’s late and this app is a bit buggish
teal deer: sexually frustrated maybe touch starved mc just wanna get dicked down hard by anyone at this point. your choice of who, cuz let’s face it all the available options are a good contender for our poor unfortunate soul
Hhhhhhh YES
I spun a wheel of names for this one lmao
Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~
Click here if you wanna request!
Relief
Warnings: Smut, Masturbation, Wet Dreams, Implied Non-Con Somnophilia (MC wants it when waking up after), Teasing, Degradation, Edging, Breathplay, Slight Dacryphilia, Creampie
Enjoy.
"Fuck!" You cried out, rage and frustration laced in your voice.
Tears welled up in your eyes, half of the duvet on the floor from your incessant squirming, and a hand between your legs, that's what your situation had you reduced to. Anyone else would've been embarrassed to be in this state. And you would've been too, had you not been so desperate to get off.
You slipped your fingers out of you, flipping your body over and slumping against your bed in defeat. You glanced at your D.D.D., tapping it twice to see the picture of the youngest sin you'd set as your lock screen, date, and time.
7:40pm
It'd been two hours.
You pushed your face against the pillow and screamed against it, your sounds being muffled by the soft material.
Two hours and you couldn't cum once?!
Have the gods forsaken you? It wasn't your fault you were, quite literally, kidnapped and sent to Hell! You didn't do anything but breathe to end up here!
You clicked your tongue, pulling the duvet back up from the floor and over your heated figure.
"At this point, I'll just go fucking atheist," You grumbled, eyes sealing shut as you let sleep whisk you away, hopefully to a land where you'd get some relief.
_
The Avatar of Sloth was never one to purposefully eavesdrop on conversations you and his brothers had. He respected your privacy, he truly did. It's just that you decided to have such conversations in front of him. Granted, he did have his head down, but that didn't mean he was asleep. He was trying to be, but he couldn't with what you were talking about!
"It was the worst thing I've ever felt in my life," Asmodeus sighed, taking a sip of his Demonus as he rambled on about one of his hook-ups. "Like, honestly, you can't talk that much game and be horrible in bed. You get it, right, MC?" The sin glanced at the tired and irritated expression on your face. You were practically seething, not only at the fact that he was bragging but the fact that he couldn't even tell that you were upset. "Totally," You grumbled out.
Belphegor shifted in his spot, biting his lip and looking down at his lap. It was surprising that his brother couldn't tell how frustrated you were, being the Avatar of Lust and all. Anyone could tell that you were struggling to keep your cool, and he knew why. He'd see it all the time in those wet dreams of yours.
The ones where you'd seduce him in an empty classroom at RAD, or where you'd guide him to Lucifer's room to fuck in his bed (he should consider that for one of his next pranks). Whenever he'd penetrate your dreams, he'd always wake up hard as a rock.
He had considered confronting you about it, but figured he should back off.
That was until the two of you decided to have a sleepover in the attic.
_
You had dark circles under your eyes from how late you'd stay up trying to get yourself off. Nothing worked. Even the wet dreams you had only served to make the hours of sleep you get decrease severely due to the number of times you wake up horny and decided to take a shot at masturbating. Then, of course, you'd be up a majority of the night with a fruitless endeavor for relief. You were pissed, but you figured that you might be able to sleep properly if you got help from the Avatar of Sloth.
"Can't you, like, put me to sleep or something?" You asked, holding a pillow close to your chest. Belphegor shrugged. "I guess I could. The only issue is I'm not sure how long you'll be out." You wave your hand in dismissal, placing the pillow under your head while throwing the blanket over your and Belphie's bodies. "Make me sleep for days for all I care, just put me to sleep, yeah? I haven't gotten a full night's rest in so long."
The seventh-born chuckled and pat you on the forehead. "Alright, goodnight, MC," He whispered softly into your ear as he gently placed one of his hands over your eyes. Your breathing slowed as you felt drowsiness course through your veins and relax your muscles, readying you for slumber.
"G'night... Belphie..."
_
The feeling of pleasure was what you yearned for, what you chased after. However, as soon as you'd feel its warm embrace around your body, wrapped around you like a blanket, it'd always seem to disappear from your grasp. Nothing was good enough, not even the dreams you had about the youngest brother.
This one, though, was quite interesting.
You were in the attic, the same place you fell asleep in Belphegor's arms. However, your face was pushed into the pillow and your ass was in the air, his hand planted in your hair to keep you in such a degrading position. He mocked you, teased you, and fucked you so well.
"Look at you and your needy little pussy, MC," He chuckled, thrusting his cock into the warmth that was your cunt, hips bucking into your ass and thighs. "Honestly, don't you have any shame? Walking around the House of Lamentation all horny, practically begging for someone to fuck you."
All you could let out were mindless babbles as he slammed his cock deep inside of your warmth, the tip bullying that same spot that made your vision go fuzzy. You whined out his name into the pillow, only causing him to push your face further into it. "What are you over there saying, hm? I can't hear you."
The lewd way that his balls clapped against your cunt was sending the pleasure you were experiencing straight to your brain, then back down to your pussy. Your walls convulsed around him, feeling that relief just inches away from you. Just a few thrusts away and—
Belphegor pulled out of you, delivering a spiteful smack to your ass as you whined at the loss. "No! No, no, nonono!" Tears formed in your eyes as your orgasm was denied. His hand moved your hair to the side before gently pressing a sweet kiss to the back of your neck. "You're so cute when you're desperate, MC," He murmured softly, running the palms of his hands along your thighs and slowly up your ass, giving it a squeeze of appreciation. His touch was stimulating, but your peak was already too far out of reach, and you weren't going to cum anytime soon without him pleasing you. Knowing this, you pushed your ass backward, causing it to collide with his pelvis as his cock slipped between your thighs.
"Please," You begged softly, beginning to move your legs so that your thighs would rub his still-hardened cock. With a low groan, Belphie gripped your hair once more. "Please what, MC? Use your words." He ground his hips against your ass, one of his hands reaching under you to gently cup your exposed breast.
"Please, Belphie, I wanna cum," You whimpered out, blushing at the sound of his chuckle in response. "You're so needy, aren't you?"
Suddenly, you felt something push the lips of your cunt apart with its entry, letting out a soft whine. Something of similar length and size penetrated you as well, gently thrusting into your pussy. You gasped in confusion. His hands were on your ass and your breast, and his cock was between your thighs.
What the hell?
_
Your eyes shot wide open as you felt your body temperature rising. One of your legs was hoisted up with Belphie's hand while the other was inside of your shorts and panties, thrusting his fingers into your cunt. He gently nibbled on your neck and smiled as he watched you stir to consciousness.
"Welcome back, MC." You could feel his smile on your neck as he pressed a kiss to it. "I wonder what you were dreaming about that got you so wet down here," He teased, thumb beginning to rub slow, lazy circles over your clit as his fingers thrusted into you slowly.
You let out a sharp gasp as you gripped the bedsheets, closing your eyes and shivering as he pressed his tongue against your neck, gently gliding it over your skin. "You seemed so agitated lately... Are you sure sleep was all you needed?" He curled his fingers, making you whine. You reached one of your hands down, almost as if trying to stop the stimulation despite enjoying it so much, only for the hand that held your leg up to grab your wrist. Your leg now resting on his forearm, he leaned in close so that his lips were an inch from your ear. "If you do that kind of thing, I'm gonna start thinking you want me to stop."
You felt your heart drop at his threat, immediately lifting your leg higher to give him more access to your cunt. "That's a good girl." He pressed a kiss to your cheek, continuing his soft administrations.
However, you were quick to grow restless. You'd been trying desperately to relieve yourself for weeks, and he was going far too slow for your liking. While you didn't particularly mind him slowly pulling you apart before making love to you, you wanted him to break you, fuck you senseless into the mattress. Though, maybe you were a bit too prideful to admit that. Instead, you keened and began to roll your hips down, feeding more of his fingers into your sopping heat. Belphegor raised a brow, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close. "What are you doing there, MC? Is there something you want to tell me?" You caught your lower lip between your teeth, muffling a moan as you buried your face in the pillow, not wanting to give him an answer for fear of embarrassment.
"Tch,"
You heard a squelching noise as his fingers abandoned your pussy, which only made you gasp and start whining. "W-Wait! No, I was—" You cut yourself off with a small sob as you felt that familiar pleasure escape you once more. The sin pushed your shoulder down to the bed, climbing ontop of you and pulling down his pants with a small sigh. "You're so picky about what you get, aren't you? I didn't know you were so spoiled." He flicked his tongue against the tips of his fingers before launching that same hand to your throat, capturing it in a near-vice-like grip. "You want to be treated like a whore, don't you?" He pulled down your shorts and panties. "Here I was thinking I'd have to treat you all nice and stuff," He teased, a small grin forming on his face as he ground his hardened cock against your slit.
"Fine. I won't hold back then."
With that, he lined up the tip of his cock with your entrance and shoved himself between your folds, letting out a soft groan as he forced himself deep into your heat in one go. Your cunt fluttered at the stretch, and you cried out in pleasure. That ache in your stomach that had been bugging you for weeks was nearly gone. Bottoming out almost immediately, the Avatar of Sloth gave you no time to adjust. It didn't take you long to, but it would have been easier if he didn't start pounding into you from the get-go. His hand clenched around your neck, blocking your airways just enough to where you could still breathe somewhat, but your oxygen was limited. You gently wrapped your hands around his wrist, letting out choked whines as he fucked you into the bed.
"Poor lamb—" He smiled— "How frustrated have you been that your pretty little cunt is this needy? I don't even have to move that much, it's sucking me in every time I pull out," He teased, lifting your leg to press a kiss to your ankle. His hips maintained their merciless pace, the tip of his cock bullying your G-spot with its constant abuse.
Your walls were constricting around his shaft, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter as your orgasm neared. Finally, that relief that you'd been craving was closer than ever. Your eyes rolled back as you clenched your teeth, nails digging into the flesh of his wrist.
So close, so fucking close.
Belphegor hummed at your expression, brushing his bangs out of his face as his magenta eyes scanned your body. "This isn't right," He murmured, pulling his still-hardened cock out of you and removing his hand from your throat. You gasped for air, taking in as much as you could before letting out a sob, tears forming in your eyes. "No! Why?"
The youngest brother snickered at your protest, grabbing your hips and flipping you over. "Was this the position we were in in that dream of yours?" He asked. Before you could answer, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed your face into the pillow, bullying his cock into your pussy once more.
A muffled cry erupted from your throat and could barely reach his ears due to the pillow he'd shoved your face in as he began to thrust once more. "Jeez, you really are a slut aren't you? You like this kind of stuff?" He laughed softly to compliment his sweet tone and contradict his harsh words and demeaning actions.
Skin slapping against skin, squelching, muffled cries of pleasure, and soft grunts from the disheveled seventh-born were filling the room, bouncing off of the walls and drowning out the sound of flickering flames coming from the fireplace. You were close to your climax again. Whimpering into the pillow, almost as if begging him not to stop again, you gently clasped one of your hands over his. He looked down at your hip, where now both of your hands were placed. He let out a small groan as he felt himself getting closer the more sounds you made.
"Fuck," He grunted out. "Gonna cum... You want me to fill you up, huh? Like in your dreams? I can do that if you say please." Belphie growled at the sound of your muffled moans in response, pulling your hair to bring your head up so you could speak. "Go on then, beg for it."
"Please! P-Please, please, need it! N-Need it, please, Belphie!" You choked out between sobs and mewls of pleasure.
Your tongue lulled out of your mouth as his cock pushed against your cervix, your walls clenching as your orgasm washed over you. His cum coated in your juices, he slammed into you once more, balls pushing against your cunt as he came. His hips stuttered as he rode out his orgasm, fucking his cum deeper into you.
When he pulled out, you collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily with a thin layer of sweat coating your body. Belphegor didn't even attempt to fix his clothes, merely throwing them off and brushing his hair back, smiling in amusement at how the white liquid he'd gifted you spilled out of your opening.
One moment, he was pulling your clothes off to make you more comfortable. The next, your nude body was pushed up against his for cuddling.
"Sweet dreams, MC."
Hope you liked it, anon!
Masterlist
#obey me#obey me mc#obey me smut#obey me belphegor#obey me belphegor smut#belphegor smut#belphegor obey me smut#belphegor smut obey me#omswd smut#omswd belphegor smut#belphie smut
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Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"
I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).
But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?
Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."
What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.
Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.
My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.
(grandma's the one on the right)
Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:
(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")
But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.
For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).
I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.
"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.
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Twisted Wonderland Senior Headcanons
A/N: i am very tired as i write this, BIBI is saving my life force. I just got screamed at by my mom but the fans (no one) can’t wait 😎. Im sorry Lilia’s is kind of short, im pretty high and have been pushing this off for days.
Contents: Various non romantic headcanons for the seniors in TWST
Trigger warnings (if any): Religion mentions (Trey’s + Leona’s + Vil’s + Rook’s + Idia’s part), eating disorders (Vil’s part), stalking mentions (Rook’s part… no surprise), minor adult themes (idia’s part)
Trey Clover
I might have this feeling only because i also bake but he has beef with multiple people about bread.
Like i mean people spreading misinformation (NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO ADD SUGAR INTO BREAD, IT DOESN’T DO MUCH)
Besides my personal beef with ig bakers…
He doesn’t listen to music, lofi background stuff at best.
He’d listen to anything someone put on with no complaint but he doesn’t feel the need for music for mundane things
With his obsession with brushing teeth i feel like he loves mint
Like i mean spearmint gum constantly, mint chocolate chip ice cream, idk mint leaves in drinks?
Bro can not understand if someone else doesn’t like mint
I believe he is an Atheist living in a Christian household
Its probably brought up rarely but he just doesn’t really believe that saying grace before dinner does anything
I think he’s way too empathetic for his own good, i mean like excusing lots of harmful things due to how someone was raised
(Totally didn’t mean to refer to Riddle but whatevs)
Cater Diamond
Get this man into kpop NOW
I feel he is rivaling Idia with his, honestly abusive, amount of slang
I dont think anyone who isn’t chronically online could stand to hear his thoughts
Or who isn’t insanely mentally unstable
But he pulls shit like “she=onika ate=burgers” every single chance he gets
Which i wont blame him for that, i pull medieval slang every second i can too
He loves brittany broski with his whole heart and soul
Not only is she funny as hell but she can also be very serious in a blink of an eye
On the low he enjoys those insider videos
He likes watching them and pausing them to argue the point to no one
Going back to kpop briefly…
He loves Aespa
Do i know any of the members of Aespa to tell you my assumed bias? No.
Also loves Zerobaseone
Ricky bias
Although i may be biased (oh my a silly pun, you scoundrel)
I do believe that he is a funny person but he is very repressed
I dont mean to make this a whole angst post but he genuinely doesn’t understand how he can express it
He is very sensitive to rejection so i think that leads him to extreme lengths to be liked
And I’m not just talking about how he acts a certain way to please others
I mean a deep rooted guilt for not being what someone wanted
Leona Kingscholar
…all my headcanons for him are purely how I’d personally treat him
Someone get this man a mukbang video and a comfy bed
He barely listens to music but when he does its some rnb stuff
He doesnt care for stuff thats too loud but he does like soft music even if he isnt open about it
I need to make him see nekomimi switch, twitter.gov, and anything else that has catgirls/boys so i can see his reaction
I dont think he holds many physical attributes to lions besides the ears, tail, and teeth but he most definitely holds many reactions and other stuff
Like he is literally sleeping in a garden most the time
He has long(er) nails and hates cutting them
Erm… idk man
I think he had a big Religious breakdown in his childhood
I dont really know what Religion he’d be to start with(due to my lack of knowledge of Religion in Africa) but he’d have the whole moment of betrayal
And then he’s completely Atheist for the rest of his life
Vil Schoenheit
He has a side account where he responds to all his hate comments
For music taste… hear me out…
He likes, on the low, vkei
But no metal like kaneto juusei or gulu gulu I mean malice mizer
He enjoys the instrumental along with the twists they take on classical
Moi meme motie x Vil Schoenheit collab when???
He 100% doesn’t express it though, he tells the public he likes whatever’s popular
I feel like, this may or may not be me projecting, he’s a hellenist
Obviously worshipping Aphrodite and has an altar for her which he never publicly speaks of but is not hiding
heres a bit of TW for eds + that type of stuff
I feel like he has an extremely bad relationship with food
He doesnt see it as something to nourish your body but instead a sort of numbers game
Like with a limit of however much someone says and the whole game is to stay under that number in calories
Besides that i feel he’s very orthorexic to the point he’d refuse to eat something if it looked too “bad” to him
(End of tw)
I know he has a very argued gender identity but i dont think he’s too confused by it
He’s very firm that he is who he is and he never seemed to have much of an inside problem with it
Maybe he got poked fun at a few times but thats all his problems with it
Rook Hunt
Get this man away from me
He is in many fandoms and somehow knows everything going on all the time
Bro personally took down Nayeon’s stalker by himself
But seriously i dont think his intentions are bad, i think he is just trying to be on top of everything in the worst was possible
He doesn’t really think its creepy himself but most the time he is
He is also a Hellenist who worships Aphrodite but also Artemis
He is so very open about his Religion
He makes those hopecore videos on tiktok and has amassed 10k followers but no one knows its him
Yearns to be in the south/midwest for the scenery
Just yearns in general
Bro is single handedly bringing back male yearning and being chalant
Saw bridgerton as a normal tuesday for him
1000 hours on c.ai
I will not, and should not, elaborate.
Is that projecting? Yes. Do i care? No.
He has the longest and some how most effective body/skincare routine ever
I mean like he’d do some shit like “once in a blue moon bath in pure hyaluronic acid for 2.5 hours on the dot”
He loves absolutely everything on everyone and its to a detriment to me personally
Hooked nose? Loved. Chubby? Love. Literally anything unconventional? Consider yourself yearned for.
He listens to anything and everything
Although he cant stand songs about break ups or anything to do with hate
Put this man on “doughnut” by TWICE now.
Idia Shroud
Yes… give me this nerdy man…
He 100% (mostly canon) loves jpop idols
Prolly an akb48 stan
I cant even get started on everything he likes
But i can tell y’all 100% that he is not overly flirty or overly easy to fluster
Istg all i see is either big dom idia or uwu shy boy idia
And both are wrong (in my opinion ig)
He starts arguments about anything and everything in game chats
Because he’s grown up in this big company family he was forced to appear better that how he truly acts so i believe that would also entail with being a die hard hellenist
But without any spotlights he does care, he just likes his games and anime
Speaking of anime…
He loves shoujo, he’s in hiding though
He literally wants to be sawako from “from me to you” but will never say it
Somebody come get this man
If anyone asks he just loves Naruto and One Piece
But we know the truth…
Istg he plays an absurd amount of eroges for the plot
He’s depraved on twitter
Two accounts, one for public image and the other for the unspeakable
Do NOT let him find any dating advice on there cause he will take it and act like a fool
He loves breakcore music and anime intros and thats about it
Besides his jpop idols
I dont think he like kpop, for some reason he just has a grudge against some fans
A little self insert but he 100% has autism (as we all know…) but he also has arfid
For those who dont know… arfid is “avoidant restrictive food intake disorder” which is like you are a very picky eater
He aint struggling with it, he succeeding (LYING)
Malleus Draconia
Get this man a cat or some shit like that
Can someone please make him watch all of aphmau Minecraft diaries and then twilight back to back
This strange individual has that man from the notebook shaking in fear
Bros a hopeful romantic
Randomly says inspiration quotes that you cant find anywhere online
It just came from his heart
He only listens to classical songs he knows how to play
Though i’d doubt if you showed him something he’d dislike it
Bros the yearner
I showed up to the yearning contest and went into anaphylactic shock at the sight of him there
He has honestly researched every single religion for fun
Highlight god damn bible verses for no reason
He needs to make an iceberg of every single religion and why they are good/bad
I just know he has an insane knowledge of lore in any book he’s ever read
Please make him watch smiling friends
You’d have to pause every 5 seconds so he can process it
You could make him do anything tbh, just be like “you should come watch *whatever it is* with me” and bro is outside your door
For shame with the amazing attention towards practically anyone who shows anything besides fear or hatred comes the fact he is unaware of most modern things
He has a tamagotchi and thats it man, get him a 3ds at least
He cant use a phone, cant use a computer, and barely understands the concept of social media
But at least he has the spirit to learn
Lilia Vanrouge
Do i even put him as a senior?
Bro is pushing some mystical number that no one knows
He’s like one of those grandmas that never mention their age and whenever its brought up all they say is “never ask a woman her age”
… perchance a bit controversial but i think he’s bad at cooking on purpose
Ain’t no way someone fucks up cooking THAT bad
I think he really likes horror games
And i dont mean those shitty mascot horrors like poppys playtime
I mean fatal frame, faith, and visage type shit
He listens to breakcore too
I dont make the rules
Hes a gamer grandpa so he either has to have pretty good taste in games/music or the absolute worst
HE’D LOVE GULU GULU AND VKEI
Hes practically already mana sama
Hes got all the moi meme motie dresses
Get grandpa off taobao NOW
I want my nyanya madoka dress, and i will not be stopped by some twinkish old man.
#trey clover x reader#trey clover#trey x reader#cater diamond#cater x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingsholar x reader#leona x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#idia x reader#malleus x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#lilia x reader#im so tired
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I was raised in the People of Destiny cult (later renamed, and more well-known as, Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches).
The valorization of martyrdom and The End Times was so ubiquitous it was ambient noise. We stood in the church lobby theorizing about who the antichrist would be, we argued about whether Jesus would rapture us all before, after, or during the Tribulation Period where Satan would be given free reign over the earth. There was a strong Christian Zionist fixation on Israel as the final battleground and capital of the coming Messianic Age. But the one thing we were all certain of was is that we were in the End Times, that we were not of this world and couldn’t get too attached to our lives here.
We were raised to believe our sin nature made us undeserving of life, that we deserved death and eternal conscious torture.
My parents read us the Jesus Freaks books (a series by Christian Rap group DC Talk about martyrs). I spent “devotional time” reading Fox’s Book of Martyrs. We had guest speakers from Voice of the Martyrs, their pamphlets were often stocked in our church’s information center. We grew up with our dad listening to right wing talk radio and making us listen to songs about how the Godless atheists were outlawing Christianity in America, that we could all become martyrs soon.
The group’s theology was damaging & traumatic in a lot of other ways that contributed to the suicidality I have continued to struggle with for the rest of my life. For a long time I did not believe I would live past 20. There are times when the idea of giving my death meaning by using public suicide to make a political statement has appealed to me.
So now, seeing so many social media posts glorifying the suicide of a US Airman this week, I have been furious. Reading his social media posts, I recognize so much about the way I was raised in his all-or-nothing, black-or-white mindset, the valorization of death-seeking & martyrdom, and the apocalyptic fire-and-brimstone imagery of self-immolation. The moment I saw people I followed celebrating his self-immolation, I said to myself “this feels like a cult”
So when I learned he was raised in a cult too, nothing could have made more sense to me. His political orientation may have changed, but his mindset did not—it was no less extreme or cult-like.
I’ve talked about so many of the reasons this response from the broader left scares me, including how it’s laundering that airman’s antisemitic beliefs, but I cannot think of anything that would hit me in a more personal place than this specific response to this specific situation has.
When I see the images, I think: that could have been me. That scares me, and what scares me more is that so many prominent people are overwhelmingly sending the message to people like me that there is nothing else we can do that would have a more meaningful impact than killing ourselves for the cause.
I do not believe that. I will not even entertain it. And having to see his death over and over and over again, to argue against people who are treating this like an intellectual/moral exercise or a valid debate we all have to consider has been immensely triggering and fills me with a rage I rarely feel. It’s unconscionable that we are even putting self-harm on the table, and that pushing back against that is somehow controversial.
There is hope. Our lives do have meaning. There are far more effective means of fighting injustice. And the world is a better place for having you in it. Don’t fall into believing this is a way to give life purpose.
#he was raised in a different cult than me but there is significant overlap in the Community of Jesus & People of Destiny worldviews#EDIT: I originally said the Tribulations were ‘7 1/2’ years but this was me confusing the ‘a time times & half a time’ from Daniel#with the idea of a 7 year tribulation#it’s been forever and a lifetime since I lived in that world so the exact theological details can be hazy#death cult shit#extremely traumatic content#i/p#cw suicide#religious trauma#cw trauma#antisemitism#pdi international#people of destiny cult#sgm cult#sovereign grace cult#christian cult#cult survivor#death cult#evangelical apocalypticism#exvangelical
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131 useless or often forgotten facts in The Brothers Karamazov!
This 27 of April is the second anniversary of the day I finished this book for the first time. To do something special, I reread it over the last 20 days and as I did it, I compiled little things that are easy to forget in these 1000 pages filled with food for thought. Let's go!
1. Mitya fought in a duel, though it's most likely that nobody died in it.
2. Ivan's journalist pseudonym is "Eyewitness".
3. Alyosha, in his own words, came back to Skotoprigonyevsk to visit his mother's grave.
4. Fyodor Pavlovich owns several taverns in the district.
5. Grigory was the one who gave Sofia Ivanovna a proper gravestone.
6. Alyosha is one deduction away from becoming a communist.
7. The Brothers Karamazov begins in late August.
8. Kalganov is supposedly Alyosha's friend. This is never mentioned ever again.
9. Kalganov gave one coin to some beggars and told them to divide it among themselves.
10. There is a rumour that the previous elder beat people with sticks. This is false.
11. Alyosha is the only person in the monastery who knows that Rakitin is an atheist, and keeps his secret.
12. Four years ago, Pyotr Miusov divulged a fake story about a saint making out with his own decapitated head. Fyodor never forgot.
13. Madame Khokhlakov is only 33 years old. She has been a widow for 5 years, meaning Lise lost her father at age 9.
14. Zosima's serenity in front of the woman who confesses to a murder may foreshadow his later recollection of having a murder confessed to before.
15. Zosima likes to make jokes.
16. Lise and Alyosha last saw each other two years before.
17. Reminder that Grushenka met Mitya because Fyodor wanted her help to throw Mitya into a debtors' prison.
18. Kuzma Samsonov is the mayor of Skotoprigonyevsk.
19. Ivan rambled to Dmitri and Katerina about how he thinks Rakitin will be a failed journalist turned landlord.
20. Fyodor Pavlovich's house is filled with rats.
21. The Miusov family had their own private theatre.
22. Lizaveta Smerdyashchaya was a bit over 142cm/4'7 tall.
23. In 1842 there was a runaway convict called Karp commiting crimes in Skotoprigonyevsk.
24. Marya Kondratievna's mother is missing a leg.
25. Mitya ghosted a girl in real life.
26. Katerina's mother died when she was young.
27. Mitya had a fever for two weeks once because of a spider bite.
28.Mitya thought Grushenka was "nothing striking" the first time he saw her.
29. Mitya was squatting in his neighbour's rented room.
30. Fyodor Pavlovich has a portrait of the former provincial governor in his house.
31. Fyodor Pavlovich goes to sleep at 3- 4AM, like Dostoyevsky himself.
32. Sofia Ivanovna was being courted by a rich man called Beliavsky while she was married.
33. Who was the woman coming from the alley that Mitya mistook for Grushenka? I still wonder.
34. A cheap glass jar was destroyed during Mitya's frenzied break- in.
35. Katerina sends two detailed reports a week to her surrogate mother figure who lives in Moscow.
36. Katerina has an aquarium.
37. Alyosha sleeps using his monk habit as a blanket.
38. Father Ferapont survives eating nothing more than 1,6kg of bread a week.
39. Ivan had told his father about his feelings for Katerina, for some reason.
40. When Alyosha kissed his father, he had the impression that Alyosha was thinking that it was their last conversation.
41. Madame Khokhlakova owns three houses as property.
42. Madame Khokhlakova and Katerina Ivanovna are supposedly great friends.
43. Ivan reads Schiller when nobody is looking.
44. One of Snegiryov's daughters, Varvara, is invested in feminism.
45. Captain Snegiryov's childhood friend is a lawyer.
46. Mitya spilled cognac over the table of the summerhouse.
47. Smerdyakov sings in falsetto.
48. Marya Kondratievna is the only one who ever calls Smerdyakov 'Pavel Fyodorovich'.
49. Ivan uses Smerdyakov as a messenger.
50. Dmitri and Katerina had been engaged for around six months.
51. Ivan's right shoulder looks lower than the left one when he walks.
52. Smerdyakov often moves the tip of his right foot from side to side when he stands (adorable).
53. Dmitri's favourite death threats are "pounding in a mortar" and "breaking legs".
54. Grigory suffers from paralysis three times a year.
55. The real name of 'Lyagavy' is Gorstkin.
56. Zosima's real name is "Zinovy".
57. There was actually another old German doctor before Herzenstube and he was named Eisenschmidt.
58. Zosima has known Brother Anfim for forty years.
59. The Bible is thrown once.
60. Madame Khokhlakova asked Rakitin to go to the funeral as her eye.
61. Alyosha was hiding behind the grave of starets Iov, who lived 105 years.
62. Zosima was harshly criticized for telling a monk hallucinating to take his meds if praying doesn't work.
63. Both Grushenka and Rakitin are children of deacons.
64. Samsonov is the only person that Grushenka seems to be completely and clearly sincere with.
65. Likewise, Samsonov only trusts her when it comes to counting money.
66. Samsonov has the entire first floor of his house for himself.
67. Mitya tells many of his secrets to his landlords, who are fond of him.
68. Alongside eggs and bread, Mitya grabbed and ate a piece of sausage that he "found".
69. Mitya and Perkhotin first met at the Metropolis tavern.
70. Mitya's dueling pistols are his "most prized possessions".
71. Madame Khokhlakova apparently borrows money from Miusov.
72. The brass pestle was 17 centimetres long.
73. Mitya spent exactly 300 rubles in food and alcohol in Mokroye, and it would have been 400 if Perkhotin didn't help.
74. Mitya gave a glass of champagne to a kid.
75. The owner of Plotnikov's shop is called Varvara Alexeievna.
76. Two thousand villagers live in Mokroye.
77. Trifon Borissovich makes his younger daughters clean up the messes of every guest of the inn.
78. Pan Wroblewski is 190cm / 6'2 tall.
79. Madame Khokhlakova gets a migraine whenever she has to talk to Mitya.
80. The ispravnik's elder granddaughter is called Olga, and the night of the murder was her birthday.
81. The prosecutor's wife seems very interested in sending for Mitya often, for reasons he doesn't know.
82. Mitya does not know that the epidermis is the outer layer of the skin.
83. Nikolay Parfenovich is the only person in the world who trusts Ippolit Kirillovich.
84. Mitya often dreams that a person that he fears is chasing him and searching for him.
85. Nikolay Parfenovich wears a smoky topaz ring on his middle finger.
86. Pan Wroblewski is a dentist without a license.
87. Kalganov had visited Grushenka once before, but she seemed to dislike him for some reason.
88. Kolya's father died when he was a little baby.
89. There was a plot going on in the background about the doctor's maid having a child out of wedlock.
90. Rakitin often talks with Kolya. Seems like the only person who takes his ideas seriously is a literal child.
91. Smerdyakov and Ilyusha met and talked to each other.
92. Alyosha rarely gets colds.
93. Katerina befriended Snegiryov's sick wife.
94. Kolya was taken to a judge for teaching a guy how to efficiently crack the neck of a goose.
95. Kolya is against women's rights.
96. Mitya and Grushenka spent five weeks secluded and away from each other after the arrest.
97. Grushenka went to see Grigory to try to convince him that the door wasn't open.
98. Rakitin made up in an article that Madame Khokhlakova offered Mitya 3k rubles to run away with her.
99. Madame Khokhlakova doesn't remember Rakitin's patronymic, and calls him "Ivanovich" instead of "Osipovich".
100. Madame Khokhlakova didn't know of the judicial system reform until two days before the trial.
101. Lise sent chocolates to Mitya in jail, even though there's no reference to them ever interacting before.
102. Alyosha has had the same dream about the devils that Lise has.
103. Alyosha is friends with the jail inspector, who often discusses the gospels with him.
104. Mitya spent two entire nights awake since he discovered ethics.
105. Ivan cleans his own room.
106. Smerdyakov shared a hospital room with an agonizing dropsy patient.
107. Mitya's letter had the bill on the other side.
108. Smerdyakov uses garters with his stockings.
109. There is an apple tree in Fyodor's garden.
110. One of Ivan's "most stupid" thoughts is being the fat wife of a merchant.
111. Ivan had a friend named Korovkin when he was 17, the one he told the story of the quadrillion kilometres to.
112. Ivan has another poem named Geological Cataclysm.
113. Alyosha was the first person the distraught Marya Kondratievna ran to.
114. Ivan is mistaken for "the eldest son" twice in the trial.
115. Grigory did not remember he was in 1866.
116. Rakitin knows "every detail" of the biography of Fyodor Pavlovich and all the Karamazovs.
117. Grushenka's surname, Svetlova, means "light".
118. Mitya once dropped 100 rubles while he was drunk.
119. Ivan saw not just the Devil, but people who had died while he walked in the street.
120. Ippolit Kirillovich died nine months after the trial, the first and last day he received applauses.
121. Marfa is dismissed as a suspect simply because they can't imagine her killing.
122. There is a partition wall in Mitya's lodgings.
123. Mitya mostly stopped staring at the floor during the prosecutor's speech whenever Grushenka was mentioned.
124. Fetyukovich bends forward in an unnerving manner when he speaks.
125. An 18 year old street vendor committed axe murder earlier that year.
126. The verdict was given past 1AM, making the trial last almost 16 hours.
127. Katerina kept the sick Ivan in her house knowing it could possibly be harmful to her reputation.
128. Rakitin tried to sneak in to see Mitya in the hospital twice.
129. Lise sent the flowers that adorn Ilyusha's coffin, and Katerina paid for the grave.
130. Snegiryov cries seeing his late son's little boots the same way one of the women at the monastery in the beginning of the book did.
131. At the end, Alyosha mentions "leaving the city for a long time" soon. Where to? We don't know.
If you read this far down, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing all of these down.
#the brothers karamazov#fyodor dostoyevsky#I had made a thread on twt about this but decided to post it all at once on tumblr
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can you write something with reader and gromsko and how gromsko would treat her if she was his wife? i’ve heard some seriously questionable things about polish people from my boyfriend, he could be biased but from what i know they are super misogynistic and gromsko gives off traditional vibes yknow.
Masterlist
Wow, that is a very interesting request, actually!
First of all, I am very sorry, that your boyfriend had bad experience with Polish people and I really hope, that things get better. My very first work was in a Polish company, and I've met the sweetest, nicest people there. There was literally one issue - I was young, tiny and underweight, and they all felt sorry about that and constantly tried to feed me.)) So the reason I'm telling this here is to highlight, that there are so many different people in every country.
I don't have anything against authors, who chose to depict him as very traditional (in a negative way) person. It is always important to not forget, such people exist. But I want to offer you a slightly different approach to him. Let's just call it an experiment and see, if it works both for you and me, ok? We will keep this guy traditional more or less, but shift him to a non-toxic side.
Husband Gromsko HCs
Long before the marriage, he takes you with him on a trip across Poland to meet his relatives. Won't stop until you meet everyone. Grannies, aunties, nieces - everyone. You are about to become part of his family and it's important to him, that you are truly integrated in the family and shown love from every single part of it.
He asks his parents to bless your marriage, and definitely asks your parents to let him make a proposal to you. It is not that he is dependent - he was raised in a culture, where respect to elderly is everything.
Regardless of how devout he and you are (even if you are an atheist), Gromskо will persuade you to a traditional wedding ceremony.
If you do not belong to any church or are simply a representative of another faith, he will not rest until he persuades the priest of his native church to allow you two to marry.
Yes, this guy will start to fight for your marriage long before it even starts. He doesn't try to force you into faith though. If needed - he is ready to pray for you both. Because you are his love and Sobieslaw has enough faith to keep you in Gods good books.
Once you are his, truly and finally his - Sobieslaws mind is all concentrated on two objectives: domesticating you and welcoming children in your family.
His biggest fear is to fail you. And in his mind, keeping you on your work equals failing you. If you worry about money - it means to Gromsko, that he doesn't provide well enough.
It will take a lot of talking to change his mind. But eventually he will understand. No matter, what he is taught to believe - you, his wife, love of his life, come first. Always. If you are 100% sure, this is the way, you want to live - he will support your choice to keep your work.
He wants children. Not a single child - children. It will break his heart, if you are not in the same boat with him on that one. He won't push you too hard, won't give ultimatums - but he will constantly try to bring the similar wish into your mind.
He is a 'look how adorable these little ones', 'look how tiny this baby beanie is' type of guy. Watches his friends kids on the playground, while embracing you lovingly and whispering 'they are sweet, but our little treasure would be the sweetest'.
If you are as enthusiastic as he is, and you get pregnant - prepare to meet doctor Gromsko. He won't leave your side, not for a day, even if it affects his career. Who gives a f**k about work stuff, when the most important person out there prepares to gift him the second most important person in his life?
He will monitor you constantly, take you to every single check up, make sure you get all the essential vitamins, have enough of fresh air daily and NO stress.
Will welcome his child with tears, will cover your face with frantic, desperate kisses afterwards. "Dziękuję kochanie... dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję*!"
Gromsko loves it, when everybody knows, that you are his and he is yours. So please, if you take off your wedding ring for any reason - wear it on a chain as a necklace. Otherwise, he will be terrified, that it is a sign, you don't want him by your side anymore.
He is constantly worried, you might get sick, so he makes sure, you are always warm, you eat well (no matter what your body type is, his granny will still call you too thin, so Sobieslaw will worry about that), you get health checkups every now and then (even if you are feeling perfect!!!).
The most supporting guy, if you decide for any reason, that you don't want to work actively and choose to stay at home.
Gromsko won't just settle with 'ok, good, now I finally have a stay at home wifey'. He will make sure, you like every part of your home, have enough time and space for your hobbies, feel safe and loved.
By the way, the guy looks like the 'I'll build our house on my own' type. Who, if not him, knows better, what makes an ideal home for you and him? Of course, you can choose all the decorations, materials and so on. But he is the one, doing the building.
Dziękuję kochanie… dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję - Thank you, love... thank you, thank you, thank you.
#cod mw2#cod#cod modern warfare#call of duty#cod x reader#call of duty mw2#gromsko#modern warfare 2#mw2#modern warfare ii#gromsko mw2#gromsko x reader#mw2 x reader#specgru cod#gromsko cod#sobiesław kościuszko#sobiesław kościuszko x reader#call of duty x reader
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Hello, I was wondering if you believe non-Christians can be saved? I know many Catholics believe everyone that doesn't accept Jesus will go to hell. Personally, I find this outlook very sad and I was curious on other points of view so please anyone respond with their own opinions. I mean to ask you this: If God is love and is forgiving of our sins, why would he send everyone to hell simply because they could not find their way to him?
hi!! YES absolutely everyone is saved!! now, everyone and their brother has a conflicting opinion on this, but i’ll throw in my two cents.
my first, more concrete point: john 3:16. the everyman’s verse!!
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
okay, but what if someone doesn’t believeth? vatican ii’s lumen gentium, no. 16, also covers this. (italics added by me)
Those also can attain to everlasting salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the gospel of Christ or his Church, yet sincerely seek God and, moved by grace, strive by their deeds to do his will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does divine Providence deny the help necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God, but who strive to live a good life, thanks to his grace.
however, it’s important to note LG no. 14. bear with me here.
Whosoever knowing that the Catholic Church was made necessary by God through Jesus Christ would refuse to enter her or to remain in her could not be saved.
i’m not a theologian, i’m just joe off the street—so i may be taking things out of context. forgive me!
however—as much as i am catholic, i believe that this is putting WAY too much importance on the catholic church as we know it today. it is far, far different than the original organization founded upon the rock of st. peter, and i believe that there are many things that god takes issue with in the catholic church (notoriously, jesus criticized large institutions like these). therefore, i don’t know how much i believe that the catholic church today, nor as a whole, was made necessary by god through christ.
my second point: my most fervent belief is that god is love. pretty much all of my friends are atheists, and they are kind and caring and loving people. it is, therefore, impossible for me to believe that they are not saved.
my second-and-a-half point: i take a little bit of issue with your phrasing of “send” to hell.
personally, i believe that hell is not necessarily Dante’s inferno, but a place of complete and total separation from god. i also believe that hell is not a place you are sent to, but rather a place you send yourself.
i mentioned purgatory in my earlier answer to a different anon; this is where that comes in. i generally concur with pope francis when he says that he likes to think of hell as empty (note: he was not issuing doctrine here). i believe that in purgatory, 99.999% (you get it) of people, if not 100%, are able to reconcile with god and see the consequences of their decisions, good and bad, throughout their life.
you know when you tell someone something that is true, but they keep on rejecting it, no matter what evidence you show them? that’s what i imagine is happening to the other .001%.
god is endlessly patient; he doesn’t mind spending eons trying to convince others to have empathy for their fellow man. however, humans are not as patient. they get fed up and walk away—and this is my (limited) understanding of the process of going to hell.
i’ll be honest, i don’t know if hell is permanent, temporary, etc. i’m not sure how helpful it is to debate it, either. but what i do know is very helpfully summarized in this post by the lovely hymnsofheresy.
whenever i have doubts about some aspect of what i believe being incorrect, i remind myself that god is love. he loves us more than anything in the world, and nothing we can do will ever change that. he doesn’t look for reasons for you to go to hell; he wants to be with us all the time.
thank you for sending in this ask, and i hope it helped ❤️❤️❤️
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Hear me out: atheist Rem Saverem.
I get why 98 decided to make Rem Christian. I really do.
However, manga Rem never exactly tells Vash to not kill other people. To not throw his life away? Yes. To not treat lives lightly? Yes. (I guess not killing other people is implied, but hey.)
When she has an issue, she leaps into action, and is not above lying or hacking official government databases. I fully believe if SEEDS tried the Tesla experimentation on the twins, she would have not have hesitated to protect them after making a promise that it wouldn't happen again. If protect means harm, yes.
I find it interesting, then, that manga Rem doesn't seem to really believe in or call in a god for help—even at her most desperate hour, she prays to Alex to give her strength.
And that's evocative of the philosophy she passes on to Vash: to protect and have faith in humanity.
I sometimes hear very religious people wondering how one decides to do "the right thing" without a specific creed. What is your moral compass, then? What guides you?
It's what we owe to each other. It's the people we love. It's getting to that tomorrow.
To be sure, putting your faith in a deity is as much as a toss-up as betting on human race. Rem has seen shit. Vash has seen shit. But they both put their lives on the line, every time, to save humanity because they believe it's worth saving.
#trigun#trigun bookclub#trigunbookclub#my post#vash DOES diverge into praying but only ONCE and it's really not faith but desperation#like 'you have never listened to me but if you are please please grant me this one thing' and Whoever doesn't!#does god exist? idk but it doesn't seem like it in no man's land#also Rem is a scientist. i know scientists are sometimes spiritual or religious but it's not far off to assume she isn't#what's nai's faith? not in humanity.#the twins are godless but that's not what dooms them
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Can I please request the female douma in hasbin hotel I just saw the new trailer and thought about my favourite demon lazy demon .
Ohhhh, Hazbin Hotel! That pretty cool! Deal ;)
Thanks for the Request ❤️
Hazbin Hotel x Douma Reader
Genre: Headcanons
Reader: neutral
Warnings: Douma itself is a Warnings (Cults, cannibalism), Hell, Alastor, mentions of alcohol, long work.
You died during the Taisho era, in Japan. having lived a fairly long and…full life, so to speak.
You were born with a unique appearance! with Rainbow irises that made you extremely popular in the area where you lived.
So much so that the people in your family believed that you had a special gift for speaking with the gods, so they formed a cult around you.
without knowing that in this way they would be awakening the darker side of your being.
As you grew up, being worshiped by the cult your parents had made, you couldn't really learn to differentiate emotions, which was frustrating. You wanted to feel SOMETHING, anything. have the experience.
and you tried everything.
do good things, do bad things, help the cult people with words you didn't really mean, scam, hurt, hurt animals, hurt yourself, hurt others in multiple ways, etc.
Even if they generated a certain feeling of emotion in you, you wouldn't say that they filled you up.
until you decided to try killing certain disciples and eating them to get rid of them.
and it was a success!You finally started to feel the emotions that others talked so much about!
Although of course, not all good things come for free, when you died there was no doubt that you would fall to hell, and so it was.
Honestly, You were very surprised to have fallen into hell, not because you didn't deserve it, but because you were an atheist all your life, believing that everything you preached was a lie.
And it turns out that it was true?? How curious.
but it didn't mean you wouldn't take advantage of your new playground.
With your natural charm, your unique and striking appearance (almost the same as you were when you were human) you were able to convince several low-ranking demons to trust you with their souls, rising in rank exponentially.
To make it easier for you, with your demon abilities you created a place similar to what your cult was like, there you could more easily control the people who gave you their souls.
In record time you became an Overlord. one quite well known but very mysterious. One that had a striking appearance and powers, but was rarely seen.
You could do anything you wanted in hell! which made the scope of your misdeeds increase exponentially, you couldn't be happier!
If we're talking about interacting with Hazbin Hotel's rl cast, of course you did! You were somewhat curious to know how Lucifer's daughter's attempt at humanitarian aid would fail. Also, bother Alastor? You are in!
Technically you already knew Alastor, you two died at similar times (you died before) and you saw how he rose very strongly among the Overlords, you liked him.
Unfortunately Alastor did not enjoy your company in the least, precisely because it made it very difficult for him to read you, either because of your lack of GENUINE emotion or because, like him, you used the trick of always having a smiling and pleasant facade.
Still, of course, he would rather be killed again than admit that.
But it was really a shame, he found some aspects of you pleasant.
For example, your taste in Canibal cuisine, Alasror recognized that you had good taste in that aspect.
Apart from that, you came from a VERY rich culture and spoke fluently in both English and Japanese, which was a great sight. Alastor normally wouldn't think that someone (at first glance) so airheaded would be able to speak a language like that so fluently.
but he is definitely something like your Akaza.
I mean, every time you push him out enough, Alastor will use Elrich magic on you and destroy you in the most grotesque ways possible.
That's until he realizes that you like it when he does that! That you make him hurt you on purpose because you're a masochistic son of a bitch!
The worst thing is that he doesn't realize this until Husk tells him...having already known you for years.
Speaking of, Husk doesn't trust you, not in the slightest.
he thinks you're a freak, a second Alastor but even worse, at least Alastor is honest about how horrible he is unlike you.
He serves you drinks when you ask, but if he can, he throws the glass directly in your eye or head, simply because he can. for your delight.
He is quicker to realize your intentions than the average person, and if he realizes that you want to turn one of the hotel members into your "dinner" he is drawing the cards SO FAST---
lots of offensive nicknames, to counteract the "affectionate" nicknames you give to people you know.
Don't touch it or ask it by surprise. Have you seen how cats do when they step on their tail? that's Husk when you surprise him.
Charlie...she's insecure about you.
and she feels BAD about it! She is supposed to be impartial and that everyone deserves a chance to change their ways! but you...well, it's you.
Charlie is not so naive, when more than one member of the Staff warns her that you are bad news, she is considerate of them and tries to make you leave, they have already had incidents with Overlords before, she wants to believe that you are different.
but it proves quite quickly that not when you show your more... somber side.
She tries to be cautious, failing miserably because she wants to know everything about you. You are someone very interesting!
Charlie definitely didn't have much of an idea who you were when she met you, your name did ring any bells, but she didn't think it was that important ---
until you casually blurted out the information that you had a fucking cult.
and that you eat demons.
FROM THE SAME FUCKING CULT YOU HAVE.
There Charlie decides to put into practice everything given in "setting boundaries" and tells you that although she likes how... you liven up the atmosphere of the hotel (and the air conditioning in some way) she DEFINITELY does not want to associate with you having Alastor.
if she KNOWS that you are trying to do something against the hotel or any of the staff members (especially Vaggie)...ohohoho buddy, prepare yourself for an ANGRY Charlie ready to show you WHO'S THE BOSS HERE.
(She definitely tries to get several members of your cult to go to the hotel with her to protect them from you).
You get on Vaggie's nerves. A Lot.
not only because you cool everything you touch, but because you are very similar to Alastor.
She knows you're hiding something, that you want something from them but she can't get it out of you easily, so she's content to just watch you from a distance and make sure you don't mess with anyone.
VERY PROTECTIVE WITH EVERYONE WHEN YOU ARE THERE, it increases the hotel's defenses by 130% and keeps you away from where others are.
You definitely like to annoy her by calling her names that are too friendly for your type of relationship or even using her as an armrest. In these types of cases you usually receive a few good punches in the ribs or a headbutt.
If you try to get too close, she applies the pilot's weapon to you, that is, she takes out her angelic spear and threatens you with a lot of violence. cursing you in Spanish in the process.
She's not as intimidated by you as she is by Alastor, but she definitely doesn't think you're safer for any reason.
less after finding out what you do with the people in your cult.
good luck keeping Vaggie from killing you!
Angel Dust is scared of you, like, really scared.
It's not because you're similar to Alastor, or because you're a Cannibal, or because you're a powerful Overlord. not at all.
It's because you are very similar to Valentino.
You pretend to be a good person, that you give a shit about what happens to the people at the hotel, but really no, it's all fake. REALLY fake.
you feel nothing.
and that terrifies him. He doesn't know how he acts around you. so Angel avoids you as much as he can, going near the fireplace since you don't like the heat, or near Husk.
he keeps making jokes at your expense, but it's really his way of handling the situation.
apart from the fact that Angel genuinely thinks you're pathetic, because you couldn't find any other way to enjoy your life and another life other than hurting people.
that's pathetic.
Yes, she won't let you be near the most vulnerable residents, like Niffty (when she's drunk) and she definitely won't let you be near Fatt Nuggets.
Try him and he will show you what he lived by while he was alive.
Niffty isn't scared of you in the slighleast.
In fact she is attracted to you on many levels, but Alastor will NEVER LET you be even a kilometer close to her in his presence.
In fact, there is a high possibility that you and her will secretly become friends, but Niffty better take care of herself around you.
She makes you use your ice powers so she can make things in the snow, snow angels, dolls, kill bugs with snow picks, etc.
she likes you and you like her :) surprisingly.
Sir Pentious is quite similar to Angel with you.
Sir Pentious is very aware of your reputation as a fearsome Overlord and definitely does not want to join the list of victims with his Eggboys, so he stays as far away from you as possible.
He has tried to make inventions resistant to your frozen currents, since it costs Charlie quite a few resources (because you don't pay a shit for what you break, you cheapskate) and certain artifacts that counteract your ice powers.
He brings several of his smoke machines to the hotel when he knows you're coming to visit (and if you come as a surprise, most likely everyone will hide in Pentious's warship because it's very hot in there.
Yes, he doesn't let his Ehgboys be near you in the slightest, he tells them horror stories with you like the big egg-eating monster.
and if you try something with his Minions PREPARE FOR THE DEATH RAY--
In general, you are a pain in the ass for everyone, everyone, always :)
^when they find out You come to visit
Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!
Thanks for the Request ❤️
#headcanons#fem reader#neutral reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hotel hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin niffty#hazbin vaggie#kny douma#hazbin hotel sir pentious
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Road to Hell
Crowley x GN!Reader
Summary: Of all the subjects Crowley thought he might walk in on you researching in the bookshop, demonology was probably at the bottom of the list.
Requests: Open!
Warnings: Crowley is a dick (affectionate).
"What're you reading today?" Crowley asked, towering over you with a contemplative look. You lifted the book for him to see and in return he offered a shocked choking sound in the back of his throat. "Demonology, huh? What... inspired you to read that?"
He hadn't told you anything about him and Aziraphale being a demon and an angel, respectively. As far as he knew, Aziraphale hadn't broached the topic with you, either. To him, there was absolutely no reason for you to be reading about anything even remotely connected to his or Aziraphale's status as supernatural beings.
Yet here you were.
Reading a book on demonology.
You shrugged in response to his question, bringing the book back down to your lap to read comfortably. "I'd never checked out the occult section before, so I decided to read something from there and this was the most interesting looking book on the whole shelf."
"Ah, right." That did, to Crowley's immense relief, make sense. You'd read at least one book from nearly every section in the bookshop -- why wouldn't you, at some point, venture into the occult?
"Can't help but wonder how accurate it is, though," you mused aloud. "Pretty sure we've all collectively decided that demonic possessions are all just mentally ill people being misunderstood and abused by the church, right? Or I guess sometimes maybe people seeking attention? So how much of this is, like... considered true, I guess?"
"Do you... believe in demons?" Crowley asked carefully.
"Not really. I mean, I feel like if they were real, we'd have more evidence than just... the church saying so? Like, surely atheists and Satanists would've met a ton of demons by now, but I don't see any atheists or Satanists ever talking about meeting demons."
Crowley had to admit that was a fair cop. Maybe a little... small-minded, at least cosmically speaking, but you were but a human. That could be excused.
"What if they were real?" he asked, coming to sit on the arm of the chair you occupied. "What if you met a demon? Knew a demon, even?"
You made a sound at the back of your throat that sounded an awful lot like the one he made. "I'd have a lot of things I needed to reconsider, for starters."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well," you started, closing the book and turning so that you were facing him. "If demons were real, then I think the next logical step would be that angels were real, and if angels were real then the next step from that point would be that God's real."
He rocked back slightly to better look at you, clicking his tongue curiously. "Is that so bad, really?"
You sighed dramatically. It was a sound he loved -- it usually came before something remarkably human. Something remarkably You. "Anthony Janthony Cranthony," you lamented, "I cannot ever, under any circumstances, let my parents know that I regret not going to church more."
Anthony Janthony Cranthony? Why had you called him that? Of all things, to go with Anthony Janthony Cranthony...
He supposed that wasn't really the point to what you were saying. Something about your parents and church, though, that was the point.
"Not sure why they'd have to know," he said casually with a shrug.
Your eyes widened in shocked realization. "Oh, fuck, you're right! They'd never have to know. You're brilliant," you said, to him -- you'd called him brilliant! He beamed at that. "Going to Hell anyway, if all that were real, may as well add 'disrespecting my parents' to my list of sins."
Oh.
"Why do you think you'd go to Hell, darling?"
"It's not like I've been living a pious life, y'know?" you said, blinking up at him. "I curse, I've fucked out of wedlock, I'm reading all about demons and witchcraft and shit. I don't believe in God? I'm pretty sure that's one of the big no-nos."
It was his turn to blink, but his was followed up with a laugh. "Oh, love, God does not care about any of those things. Trust me."
"Oh, God, are you a Christian? Have you been this whole time? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend--"
"No, no, nothing like that. I..."
How did he tell you? Should he even tell you? He was sure Aziraphale might have something to say on the matter, but right now he couldn't be fucked, because you were here, looking up at him so innocently, so adoringly.
"What is it, Crowley?" And you sounded so concerned, so ready to take him into your arms and comfort him and apologize for a crime you hadn't even committed.
"I'm a demon."
The words tumbled forth from his lips before he could stop himself, and they hovered in the air for several silent and tense moments after, where all you did was stare at him.
And then you laughed -- and he wished he could laugh too. Hell, he wished he could hear even a trace of joy in your laugh. But it was all nerves and fear, like you weren't sure if this was some sick joke or if he was delusional.
When his expression didn't change, when he didn't yell out "sike!" or "gotcha!," your laugh died and then you just looked scared of him.
It nearly broke him, because if this was how you reacted before proof, how would you react when he showed you the truth?
But you didn't run away, so he carefully removed his glasses and blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light. Yours were locked onto the yellow irises, the slitted pupils that contracted and dilated at will.
He could tell you wanted to deny the reality of them -- that you wanted to write them off as contacts, but they wouldn't let you, because contacts couldn't dilate.
The only other things he could do -- well, within the confines of the bookshop, were show you his wings or turn into a snake. He wasn't huge on the latter option, at least not right now -- it definitely put him at a disadvantage, made him easier to discorporate.
So, instead, he moved to a stand. And his wings fanned out as you watched, and then, he figured, you'd run out the door screaming, never to be seen again. He hoped you lived well. He closed his eyes so that he didn't have to watch you walk away.
You got up -- he could hear the rustling of fabric, the relieved groan of the chair, the book falling onto the cushion. He expected the little bell above the door to signal your departure at any moment.
Instead, he felt your hands on his face, pulling him nearer to you. His eyes opened, stared into yours. The fear had gone, replaced by unabashed curiosity and deep, untamed love.
He expected many things to come out of that lovely mouth of yours. So God is real? Am I going to Hell? I don't want to go to Hell! What did I do to deserve going to Hell???
(You weren't going to Hell -- but after the initial question, people tended to panic and vomit the others out uncontrollably.)
He expected those questions. A handful of a select few others. He did not anticipate what you actually asked --
"Do you have a cool demon name?"
"A... Sorry, a what?"
"You know... Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Belial. What's your demon name?"
"O-oh... No... no 'cool' demon name, I'm afraid. Just... Just Crowley..."
He hadn't expected to be embarrassed and doubly hadn't expected to see a beaming smile on your face.
"I think Crowley's the coolest demon name, personally."
He could see in your eyes that you meant it -- and that made him smile.
"Isn't it just?" he asked with a relieved laugh.
"Now I gotta know what all you've done as a demon. I mean -- how old are you?"
"Old as the universe, darling."
He could see the moment your brain started trying to process that unfathomable information, and he could also see the moment it gave up. You moved on as if nothing happened, but Crowley took a moment to appreciate he wouldn't have to miracle your memories away before your brain went into nuclear meltdown.
"Why aren't you in Hell?"
"It's dreadfully boring."
"Why are you here?"
"I just think humans are neat... and your lot is very good at making booze."
"Have you done anything cool as a demon?"
"I met Shakespeare, I stopped some Nazi spies, I tempted Eve, I stopped Armageddon..."
"You what!?"
"Oh, yeah..." He made that sound in his throat. You copied it, seemingly from instinct. He wasn't even sure you noticed that you did it. "Long story, but Aziraphale and I convinced the Antichrist to just... not do the whole ending the world thing."
"Who's Aziraphale?"
"Oh. Right. Mr. Fell."
"... Mr. Fell? This Mr. Fell?" You motioned to the bookshop at large and Crowley nodded. "Is he a demon too?"
Crowley laughed -- an uproarious, barking laugh, that lasted much longer than was strictly necessary.
"Oh, you better not let him hear that," he said once he'd calmed down.
"... So he's not a demon?" you mumbled, and Crowley realized he'd accidentally made you feel bad.
He took one of your hands in his and guided it away from his face so that he could kiss the palm. "No, darling, he's not." He kissed your palm again. "He's an angel."
"I'm sorry -- he's a what?"
"An angel, of course. Really, like he could be anything else."
Nothing against him, of course, but he very much was what he was.
"So why are an ageless angel and demon wasting their time with me, a human who'll wither and die? Why go through that for me?"
"Well, it's not exactly our fault you weaseled your way into our lives," he said with an indignant hgk. "But now that you're here, we can't really imagine the place without you."
"I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, and I can't believe it came from a demon."
"Don't let the angel know I let you get away with calling me sweet. He'd never let me live it down."
#crowley x reader#crowley x you#good omens x reader#good omens fic#good omens fan fiction#david tennant
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