#how depression works
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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)
#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done#i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now#lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only#a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that#maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage#mine capitalism#anti-capitalism#work
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My voiceclaim for Bidwell is Ben Wyatt from Parks & Rec
#my art#beepartcollection#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 bidwell#tf2 reddy#tf2 jerry#tf2 mags#maggie?#margaret?#idk how people tag her. i barely see anything of her#wish there was more of her tbh!#woman who has depression#also i worked on this for 3 days straight so if you see any oddities. no you didnt
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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Maddie and Buck in 3x16 and 5x15
#actually so weird how margaret and phillip died 80 years ago and these are my adult children.#anyway i was trying to make something much more depressing but the coloring was Not working with me so y'all are safe.... for now....#tv: 911#911 abc#911 fox#911edit#911gifs#buck buckley#evan buckley#maddie han#maddie buckley#buckley siblings#tvgifs#televisiongifs#tvedit#mythtakensgif#cinemapix#dailyflicks#food tw#(buck's single forkful of salad i'm just being vigilant)
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The way this adaptation hit all the big lore and plot points but also made time for the tiniest details that spoke so much about the characters was honestly so great to see, the show creators obviously had so much understanding and respect for the original source material, which is so rare nowadays.
#lockwood & co#lockwood and co#lockwood and co netflix#you're on my permanent shit list netfix#cant imagine why any creators working for you would even want to turn out good material when there's no application of it#someone took time to write this into the script#to stage and act and frame and film it#for what? to just be cancelled#depressing how little work is appreciated#lockwoodlibrary
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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor “im breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racists” swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)
#anti taylor swift#like she can be problematic that’s okay#there are SO many problematic artists i like#but she’s not even that good#like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo#aka her peers#and realise how much better they are#they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it#whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL#she’s so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so#by romanticizing the most mundane#thats never been your brand babe now it’s going to sound like dogshit#GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it!#fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back!#mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since that’s all she knows!#lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression#all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isn’t a cash grab#Anyway i’m so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd#todd anderson#AND JOE ALWYN#joe alwyn my favourite man ever#joe alwyn#dead poets society#anderperry#sylvia plath#virginia woolf#the bell jar#lana del rey#fiona apple#mitski
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zenos, but he's getting spammed by his weirdly tech savvy great-grandfather.
#sketch#wip#ffxiv#zenos yae galvus#garlean communicators but some of them are just really sturdy flip phones#man's just trying to train in peace before his phone starts exploding#this is also spawned from me remembering how tech savvy zenos himself is implied to be lol#he can probably drive- he can pilot- and we've seen him fix/salvage one of the machines before-- im giving him a phone#but it's also just one of those “zenos is a self made prodigy” kind of things that I really enjoy#which makes the decision of dropping the old model of the garlean reaper in Ala Mhigo kinda funny to me#we really mightve just stolen this man's depression fixer-upper#(but also a little sad because it makes me think that he's tried --a lot-- of things trying to make himself happy and it just never worked)#theres probably a lot of things he knows how to do but just doesnt bother with them anymore
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@voyagerweek - DAY 3: Favorite Relationship EMH: Who would have thought that this eclectic group of voyagers could actually become a family? x
#voyager week#star trek voyager#quotes: survival instinct and year of hell#kathryn janeway#juls.gif#my gifs#star trek#mine: stvoy#star trek edit#startrekdaily#star trek voy#dailytrekgifs#tom paris#harry kim#emh#queen arachnia#star trek gifs#seven of nine#chakotay#b'elanna torres#i'm sorry i couldn't pick just one relationship.#“but the execution is a mess” well yes that's just how my head works#and I've been very depressed these days so I'm proud I finished anything at all.
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Someone please educate these kids.
First - Previous - Next
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#deltarune fanart#deltarune comic#comic#kris dreemurr#susie deltarune#noelle holiday#berdly#undertale#frisk#utdr#unstoppable force meets immovable object#don't test frisks determination#they travelled dimensions just to hug the depression out of kris#not even the smart kids know how humans work
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I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...
#please accept this low effort meme while i work on Emmrich-inspired creative pursuits#hoping and praying and sobbing and crying#BioWare i'm on my hands and knees begging you to GIVE THE SWEET NECROMANCER A SOFT TUMMY#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#okay now im gonna start complaining in the tags so this is your warning#i just don't think im strong enough to withstand ANOTHER RPG with companions that Should Not Fucking Have Abs#like sure i could MAYBE suspend my disbelief that the vain wizard would use some illusion magic to give himself abs (still cringe)#or MAYBE he got really into crunches while he was depressed for a year (HIGHLY doubtful)#BUT THE EMACIATED VAMPIRE!?#like come on bestie#did cazador have some really rigorous workout routines that were conveniently never brought up???#im going insane sorry#i just have a lot of opinions on diverse body types in video games#and dont want them to do my man dirty like that#[insert joke about how getting down and dirty with him is my job]#okay sorry i think i got it all out of my system#if anyone actually read this far please know i love you with my entire serpentine heart
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Hey just wanted to say how much I adore the Raven and The Snake! It kept me sane during some hard times last year screaming at Seb distracted me from my real problems LOL! In fact I love it so much I would love to print the fic and turn it into a book for my own personal enjoyment of course, would it be okay with you if I did that and posted the final product on Twitter? I'd tag you of course! Don't know if it's a dumb question but I wanted to check. Anyways love your work you are SUPER talented!
YES YES YES??? OMG PLSSS I WOULD DIE!!!!!!!
IM HONOURED YOU LIKED IT ENOUGH TO WANT TO BIND IT!!! AND PLS, TAG ME EVERYWHERE WHEN/IF YOU DO IT😭😭 ive considered commissioning someone to bind it myself just to have as a memento bc im the author, but omg the fact that someone else would wanna do it too......im glad sebs dumbassery (and lets be real, clora's too. if not MOSTLY cloras) could distract you from your irl problems by yelling at those two idiots🥰🥰 THANK YOU AGAIN IM HONOURED ARGHHH🧎♀️💖💖
LMFAOOO THE WAY I THOUGHT THIS WAS ANON HATE AT FIRST LMAOOO i mean i guess it kinda could still be considered it??? but i love your love for clora BAHAH bc you are so right, let seb drown, this aint about him✋😔...to satiate you heres a wip of her ive had for a while, and maybe ill finally finish it soon JUST FOR YOU🫵🫵💖
#i have so many ongoing wips tho sometimes im tempted to make a poll of what i should work on LMAO#i have a 3 page modern AU comic of how they get together#and a depressing 2 page comic of seb in azkaban hallucinating clora#and also a yandere seb and clora pic#and then just a bunch of other random cute stuff and some moments from my fic#i wanna do a comic of their first makeout session in cloras room bc i love seb in that scene...asking if he can touch her and stuff....#also them the morning after when clora kisses him awake and sebs like 'waking the sleeping princess with a kiss is supposed to be my job'#but for now ..........im gonna go play video games instead👉👉#ask
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all you got are eyes on meeee i’m the only girl you seeeee
#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#chat i miss drawing….#chat i miss him#IF U KNOW HOW TO BEEE MY LOVERRR#MAYBE U CAN BEEE MY BABBYYY#putting my 2016 ariana grande playlist on loop now im less depressed#tacc0yak1art#twst lilia#twst fanart#twst#disney twisted wonderland#artist on tumblr#sketch before i go back to work again :v
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Consider: I repackage another ace attorney au (split phoenix au) into mp100 for the sillies
#doctorsiren#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#mp100 fanart#mp100 au#split reigen au#digital art#my art#procreate#see split mob would be verrrry easy to do and I will do it once squib and lily finish the show#but split reigen is also very easy bc bro literally said that thing about how everyone has another side to themselves#so here we have Arataka. the one who is lonely and depressed and smokes#and then we have Reigen. the one who is confident and a businessman and charismatic.#he always tries to portray himself as Reigen 😭#he has a sucker in the third drawing bc he’s still not allowed to smoke in the office#also I think Arataka would say the manga thing:#‘I was never particularly proficient in anything and I wasn’t curious about anything’#and Reigen would say the anime thing:#‘I did everything efficiently and I was filled with curiosity about everything’#and so Reigen is who he wants to truly be but he has to come to terms and work on solving the problems of Arataka hello I am insane#I love pulling characters apart into two silly little versions and making them face each other externally :3#aw man Reigen got all the ADHD while Arataka was left with the depression 😭/silly
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How to survive depression
Inspiration and reference: SUNDAE KIDS
#AFTER THIS I'LL HAVE TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE to actually try my best and finish the piles of work I left undone because of feeling sad :(#Please don't wait for me I NEED TO BE 1000% CONCENTRATED I have too much work pent up due to procrastination aauughhuuuuu weeeeee O(-(#dollya art#dol pc#robin the orphan#dol#dol robin#degrees of lewdity#dol fanart#degrees of lewdity robin#lya the blossom#anw it's depressed Lya yall woohoo look at her look at how beat up she is lol the prime example of life fucks me hard daily#ha ha#haa....
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