#how could I not write this when there's a funny punchline at the end

[metamercury]

I can do it. I can write. People (me) would want to read this (me) if I wrote it (me)

[elodieunderglass]

🎀

Fanfic ask game: https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/769295248269705216?source=share

“🎀 how do you decide when something is done?”

That’s such a good question, thank you! I know where I’m going with my (recent) fics because they’re all mechanisms.

They’re like a little clockwork item that I hand to you, and when you wind it up, it Does Something. It opens up to show you something inside, or it unfolds to be something else. Or it’s a puzzle box with something exciting. Sometimes it mostly just shows you how it’s made. Sometimes it’s a jack-in-the-box and the surprise is just that it goes “pop” and makes you laugh.

It’s important that the construction be witty. In addition to the overall mechanism working properly, it’s important to me that it be done in a stylish way. Even if I don’t pull this off, I know it’s done if it’s managed to meet the goal of the mechanism and also be a bit collectible and stylish.

This is how the jokes are supposed to go off in your brain:

Anyway, I know they’re done when the mechanism works!

Sharpe’s Daemon is a very quick character study set up so the last line hits like a punch: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58673878 It’s supposed to be satisfying and funny and make you go OH NO. I knew it was done because it does this! All the writing before the punchline is there to make the punchline happen. It was written with the ending in mind: once the ending was achieved, the fic was done, and ready to be served!

The absurdly ambitious Strange Pilgrims (Good Omens) is many things, but one of them is “two interlocking spirals, one black and one white. It is about how the universe, the depicted ship, and all the small things are also in this shape - the love between the characters being the same geometry as the underpinning physics of the galaxy etc etc etc” https://archiveofourown.org/works/19368694/chapters/46082842 so it SLIGHTLY bothers me that the earlier-written chapters are weaker and unbalanced it! Also, when they announced there was going to be a Good Omens season 2, I was so disgusted that I had to scramble madly to finish the damned thing early ( it initially had a shape that could support the development of a sequel. They would have been very pretty next to each other but MY 123k baby is a Pratchett love letter, not advertisement for some other guy.) that’s why it has the absolutely unhinged Choose Your Own Adventure multiple-ending mechanism, where you select a glitchy tarot card to get “your” ending, and you can choose to stop there or interlock it further. I have not seen that done before and I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE DONT DO IT.

His Delicious Materials (Dungeon Meshi) https://archiveofourown.org/works/56658973/chapters/144024799 is a work in progress and actually has me puzzled because the intention of the mechanism may have changed! It was scoped as a gift, but - I am so touched by this - other people like it too, and I may have to do one route for the original recipient and another for the other readers. Like the person it’s for would enjoy a cuckoo clock, but the people reading it are going “oh this is a GREAT music box” and I’m like oh dang, it WOULD be a very effective music box.

Weasel Heart in Defiance (Dungeon Meshi but as an argument with Tolkien) https://archiveofourown.org/works/60074548/chapters/153284221 is going to be 125k in order to set up an ending scene in which - having spent 125k with these idiots in their silly world - you cry. And you go THANK YOU ELODIE I GET IT. And it sets off a Halfling Revolution in your heart. That scene’s already written, and the rest of it is just colouring in. That one is already done, basically.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Yet again I am away from my computer and nonetheless compelled to write jaytim as though my life depended upon it

This is a snippet that will... probably(?) go in Chained at some point so spoiler warning for below the cut, but it should be funny enough on its own for folks who aren't interested in that to enjoy it too 👍

Dick carefully punches in the codes to disable Tim's second story window alarms and comes in out of the late December chill. He's not being particularly stealthy, since all he's here to do is drop off a small present before Christmas - but then he hears Tim and someone who sounds suspiciously like exiled-from-Gotham-and-totally-disappeared-off-face-of-Earth Jason, and decides to switch to maximum stealth instead.

They're standing around in Tim's kitchen (which actually looks well used for once) sharing coffee. Jason's striped down to nothing but boxers and Tim is draped in an oversized shirt that leaves it a mystery as to weather or not he's got anything covering his ass. Something about the way Tim is looking at Jason's chest makes him uncomfortable.

He's expecting Jason to be uncomfortable with it too and snap at him for staring at his scars - instead when Jason notices Tim's gaze, he smiles smugly and makes his pecs bounce.

Dick silently recoils in shock, while Tim blushes a bright red and thwaps Jason with a hand towel.

"You're supposed to say 'my eyes are up here'!"

"Hey, normally I would, but we both know that these..." He gestures lasciviously to his chest. "Are the only things keeping your eyes from wandering down here." He gestures the same way down to his boxers which are actually tented when he holds them at this angle and- holy fucking shit why is he wearing a strap-on?!?

That- that is way too fucking big and hard to be a packer why is he... With Tim... Both half naked... Flirting over coffee... Strapped...

Dick rapidly begins spiraling towards something like a mental breakdown, because not only is his little brother who's freshly murdered someone (AGAIN!!) being harbored by his other little brother who he loves to absolute death and he's going to have to fight both of them over this, potentially on Christmas - not only is the world possibly ending in like four months - not only that but they're apparently fucking each other too!

Which... Kinda isn't the most surprising thing ever? It breaks his heart in two to think it, but honestly how could Jason not assume that he's been utterly disowned at this point? Is Dick even right to still think of him as family? Maybe this was a long time coming...

Tim blushes an even deeper red and rolls his eyes. "Well, gee, thanks for helping to keep your little brother's thoughts chaste."

The words 'little brother' hit him like a psychic mac truck to the forehead.

It's supposed to be sarcasm, but his tone is far too fond and too flirtatious, and his eyes are still far too low, and 'little brother' wasn't said like the punchline it was said like it was true, and they're smiling at each other as they each sip their coffee and-

That's when he spots it.

Bright red and perfectly centered between them. One large container of coffee. Folgers. Coffee.

Dick officially snaps.

The x-files theme plays over clips of that goddawful commercial and the image before him of his own two siblings reenacting that same energy right before his eyes.

Dick stealthily goes back down the hall and right out the window and up to Tim's front door and rings the doorbell repeatedy until Tim opens the door, looking flustered and just a touch guilty.

"Uh, hi? Wha- are you good?"

Dick pushes passed him and marches right up to the kitchen. "Got a case, sorry about this, but there's no time to explain."

"Should I be getting my suit on??"

"Nope! No, no, no, you just stay here. Just don't touch anyone for the next like twenty four hours and you'll be fiiiine!"

Jason has predictably vanished by the time he gets there, but Tim's coffee is still hot and on the counter.

He swipes both the cup and the container of grounds right off the counter and starts marching back towards the door to leave, to go down into the batcave and test this shit for psychoactive chemicals!

"My coffee? Seriously?? Dick what the fuck?!"

"Crane and or Ivy, don't ask, no time, just don't touch anyone!"

Tim looks at him like he's a lunatic as he runs back out the door, but he's earned that lunatic status so they can both be excused.

---

Jason eyes his coffee, takes another sip. It doesn't taste poisoned. He shrugs and drinks the rest.

---

(Dick is ultimately glad that the lab tests come back clear. Whatever is happening between them it's better that it's not... chemically induced.

He's still gonna have to have a whole internal crisis about it though.)

[tobiasdrake]

Here we go, it's Ranma time. Episode 5! The introduction to Ryoga continues.

God, I love how mournfully quiet this is.

This is what happens when women write women. Male writers don't often think about things like just how much a long-haired girl's hair means to her. Akane's been growing that out for years.

Look at how little she was when she started growing her hair. That is the product of years. Many years. Gone in an instant.

But she rolls with the punches. Akane has remarkable emotional fortitude. She'd kind of have to in order to survive all the shit she's had to put up with in her day-to-day life.

I love that they leave so much unstated, yet clearly implied, about the way her long hair relates to her longstanding crush on Dr. Tofu. When she says she wants to grow it out so she can be like Kasumi, there's an implication there that she thinks Dr. Tofu will like her more if she has Kasumi's hairstyle.

She's trying to walk in her big sister's shoes so that the man who likes her big sister might look her way. An idea that was doomed from the moment of its conception. She was never going to beat Kasumi at being Kasumi, and if she has to try, then she's already failed.

The manga's a bit more explicit about this, as Kasumi directly tells Baby Akane that Dr. Tofu won't like her very much if she keeps acting like a boy. From that, she draws the conclusion that having hair like Kasumi will make him like her more. But the reboot anime keeps it implied and understated.

So there's a lot going on here when Akane breaks down and cries into Dr. Tofu's chest. This is the end of an era. The loss of her hair symbolizes the death of a child's dream. The end of her efforts to be more like Kasumi so that this man would like her better, and the beginning of a new era where someone else out there will like her for being Akane.

While also demonstrating how much she leans on and depends on Dr. Tofu as a stabilizing figure in her life. She feels safe enough with him to finally let down her walls and cry out the grief over her lost hair, in a way she doesn't have at school or at home. Ironically mourning the death of her pursuit of him to him.

My dude, you desperately need to get a hobby. Supervillains are more considerate. Giving some real Vegeta energy here, but specifically the TeamFourStar kind.

And also the Tendo home desperately needs to get some door locks because he just strolled right on in here to do this.

And they both get punished for this.

Story of Ranma's life.

Takahashi's comedy remains incredible. Kasumi objects to Akane going out there not because she doesn't think Akane can take the mystery robber but because she wants Akane to hit him with something heavier.

I want that too. So Kasumi and I are on the same page.

She does, too. Nails Ryoga right in the back of the neck with a long-range shotput throw of that fucking barbell. Akane wins Ranma v. Ryoga, Round 2.

The moral of the story is to... not... do... anything that Ryoga did here.

...or, really, anything that Ryoga ever does. Don't be like Ryoga. That's sound life advice. (Not that the rest of the cast is any better.)

Immediately followed by Kasumi with another punchline. Man, I did not remember how funny she is.

Akane's rematch with Ryoga goes super well too. She is on fire.

Sincerely want to know what could possibly have possessed him to think jumping Akane while in piglet form was a good idea.

So begins the saga of P-chan.

AND ALL FOR BREAD AND BREAD-RELATED PRODUCTS

My dude.

The curry bun was not worth it.

Like.

Like. The part where Ranma knocked Ryoga into the piggy spring without noticing and then Genma tried to fucking eat him? Yeah. I can see being homicidally mad about that.

But he didn't even know that was them until literally this scene. Everything up to this point has been Ryoga blaming Ranma because he, Ryoga, stalked Ranma to China to avenge his curry bun.

Speaking of Genma.

I love how he just walks in on his son in girly form having Naked Bath Time with some random boy, and his response is to just... apologize and peace out. Whatever this is, it's none of his business.

Actually, not just any random boy. Specifically the random boy that got Ranma in trouble earlier tonight when he snuck into their bedroom for a late-night call.

Genma definitely thinks these two are up to shenanigans.

Literally the only member of her family that actually objects to Ranma sneaking into Akane's room late at night to do shenanigans to her (read: trying to fucking extract Ryoga from an unsuspecting Akane's bed) is Kasumi. Who merely scolds Ranma for moving too fast.

Is it any wonder she doesn't feel safe being emotionally vulnerable at home?

(Seriously, though, there is so much drama that could be avoided if Ranma would just tell Akane that P-chan is Ryoga. She has a right to know that, and not telling her makes Ranma complicit in Ryoga's shittiness.)

[cocoa-rococo]

Koopaling Headcanons: Iggy

Larry | Morton | Wendy | Iggy | Roy | Lemmy | Ludwig

The wild child, the mad lad, the resident scientist himself! I think about him a regular amount.

Left-handed.

His powers are more plant-based, and he's very good at controlling them, but inventing is a big hobby of his that plays into how he attacks. To put it in other terms, he's got Artificer software running on Druid hardware.

His eye color is a rare mutation of his draconic koopa biology, though it does give him some issues with his vision, hence the glasses.

He's definitely wacky, but he's not actually ‘demented’ or ‘insane’ like most think he is. That being said, he likes to play up the whole ‘mad scientist' act around other people because he enjoys their reactions. Maybe a little too much…

April Fool's is a banned celebration in the castle because of him. Not that it stops him from pulling pranks on any other day of the year.

His favorite fruits are more tropical things; kiwis, pineapples, and starfruit.

Prefers Chain Chomps and other animals to people, as he's not great with conversation nor predicting people. Rumor has it that he can actually speak with them, but whether it's true remains to be seen.

He occasionally gets nonverbal when an experiment goes awry, or when he’s so upset he can’t find the words for it. His siblings check in on him every once in a while, and he does end up speaking again after a few hours / a day.

His hair naturally falls into a mohawk like in his earlier depictions; he just likes styling it back to differentiate himself from Lemmy.

Doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but he's a big fan of savory things. That said, he does have a fondness for carrot cake.

He actually made his glasses when he realized his eyes didn’t see well with traditional lenses… and because he needed something that was fireproof, blast-proof, and freeze-proof, just to name a few. When he realized he could market it on a professional basis, Iggy’s Glass was created.

He's a big fan of his veggies! He's not a strict vegetarian, nor is he opposed to meat whatsoever, he just likes his greens more. Like I said, Druid hardware.

Speaking of food, if he's craving something, he often decides what to have not by flavor, but by texture. He looooves crunchy stuff or things he can rip into, like sandwiches with hard bread or jerky sticks.

He helps Wendy with her baking hobby! Baking is just another form of chemistry, after all, and he likes having something to do with his hands. He doesn't like cooking much, though. Too much guesswork.

He makes so many things for his siblings for holidays and birthdays, and is always touchingly surprised if they get him something personal or practical (not that he shows it).

He got Morton a camera for his tenth birthday to support his scrapbooking hobby, and is secretly very pleased that Morton takes such good care of it. He also denies crying when Morton showed him the page he made of the two of them with the photos he took.

His handwriting is the worst out of the seven. Given how fast he needs to write to keep up with his experiments, and his habit of using short phrases that only he understands, it's really legible to just him.

He genuinely is pretty funny. His humor is skewed towards shitposter memes thanks to Roy and Larry, but his sense of comedic timing to drop a bomb or punchline is perfect.

Will respond to highly cursed memes and images along the lines of "Oh, that's AWFUL. I LOVE IT."

His currency is amusement. You wanna get on his good side or impress him, making him laugh. This is harder then it sounds; if he can tell you’re trying too hard, he’ll just blast you with sarcasm.

Ludwig is teaching him how to play the accordion. It’s just as chaotic as it sounds.

He's a big fan of bad B-movie horrors, making fun of them while also unironically enjoying how terrible they are. He's got a few posters of them in his room.

He was the dog version of a warrior cats kid. I'm sorry, but it's true.

He likes to collect bugs! It's not a very big collection, seeing as the Darklands is uninhabitable by a majority of insects, but he likes learning and talking about them to anyone interested.

One of the most terrifying generals out of the Koopalings to the troops; not because he’s especially mean or strict or anything, but because you’ll have no idea how he’ll react to something. He is, however, perhaps also one of the the least military-inclined out of his siblings, much preferring his lab to a war room.

Will wear the UGLIEST shirts with zero concerns. Will also wear socks and sandals. Wendy loathes him.

Doesn't like coffee; the taste makes him nauseous. He's more of a soda guy, anyway.

He and Larry are huge sci-fi nerds, and enjoy bonding over comics and mecha anime and going to cons together. Also a big fan of horror; the more gore, the better.

Cannot draw people for shit. Animals and plants he can do okay at, but more in an anatomical kind of way then any artistic sort of style. Blueprints, however, are a different story.

Genuinely likes pistachio ice cream. None of his siblings know why, nor do they want to know.

Like Lemmy, he's very much a fan of pulling a prank and doing the "ohhhh I'm just a little guy, and it's my birthday, I'm a lil birthday boooy" routine. Unlike Lemmy, this rarely works for him.

His lab is his safe haven; it may be a mess in some places, but it's his mess. If you touch something you shouldn't, be prepared to get whacked.

Can and will pick up bugs and eat them. Bonus if they’re dipped in chocolate.

He doesn’t have any particular favorite flowers, but he's got a side hobby of cross-breeding and mutating plants for both science and in the sense of, in his own terms, “fucking around and finding out.”

[randomthefox]

The question is, how do I write to Amy? For her to be so cute yet so annoying?

Spose it depends, and at the end of the day it's very subjective. I think the balance is just right in Sonic Battle for example, but a lot of people think that that's a "bad" game for Amy. Even though she is objectively perfect in it. But the fact that you have to write the character as annoying on purpose is inherently going to mean that to some people she'll be TOO annoying and that'll spoil the whole dessert for them. Amy needs to be a perfect blend of sweet and tart, but some people are diabetic lol.

The other characters reactions towards Amy are key, in my opinion. Particularly Sonic, but the other characters are important too. I feel like this is the perfect encapsulation of the ideal reaction that they should be having towards Amy.

A literal translation is "well, it can't be helped" or something along those lines. Windii translated it into the second picture.

Either way I think that perfectly represents the ideal reaction to Amy's antics from the other characters. Nothing we can do about it, no choice but to either go along with it or get out of the way. In her own way she's a force of nature, carried away on her own flights of fancy and devoting herself to a lofty little ambition of her own invention. And she reacts very violently to anybody who challenges her whimsical fantasies.

I think the secret to getting the balance right is to remember that Amy is supposed to be a comedic character. Comedy is also subjective, so that too is going to land badly for some people. But for like 90% of the stories Amy is a part of, she's supposed to be really funny. But then at the end she can get serious. She's like an inside out joke. A regular joke is mostly a serious set up, so that the subversive punchline hits you with the comedy. But for Amy most of the set up is funny, but then she pulls out the emotionally impactful serious moment.

Like in Sonic Adventure 2, the entire joke of her involvement in the story is the boys keep running off and leaving her behind much to her chagrin. And to some people, they don't find that joke funny (even though it is objectively hilarious). But the whole thing works because then we get to the Last Story where Amy has been left behind again, but in being left behind she comes upon Shadow who isn't participating and that gives her the opportunity to emotionally connect with him and remind him of Maria's true final wish which convinces him to change his tune and help out.

She's a funny bitch, practically the butt of the joke, right up until she hammers you in the gut with the emotional highpoint of the entire story.

The best solution would be to make her cute AND annoying AT THE SAME TIME. This is why Sonic Battle is such a good Amy game. Her whole story in that game is she thinks Emerl is like her and Sonic's practice baby. So she goes ALL IN on being Emerl's mother, trying to take care of him but also impart proper social values and moral lessons onto him. Only this is an idea that she's completely invented out of nothing, and everyone else realizes that and none of them want to participate in it with her. Also Amy constantly fails to live up to her own ideals of motherhood.

THAT is peak Amy Rose right there. Absolutely perfect. She's being an annoying dumbass, but she's also ADORABLE. Trying to be Emerl's mom and smack proper manners (and formal Japanese speech etiquette) into him, only to immediately descend into vulgarity and violence when Phi interrupts her is HILARIOUS. Cute as a button, this stupid pink bitch. I just wanna pinch her little cheeks while she pouts and pulls out her hammer to bash my skull in.

Or you could just say fuck all of that and turn her into Sally Acorn I guess. Because that's "fixing" her.

Whatever works for you.

[stevehairingtit]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @geddyqueer for the tag~

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 24

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 72,539, which kind of makes me want to go add a word to something

3. What fandoms do you write for? Primarily Stranger Things, though I have some 911 stuff both published and planned

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Come and Turn the Tide (My "Achy Breaky Heart." My "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).")

Temperature Running High

A Kind of Magic (My lone Shadowhunters semi-hit)

Living Tissue, Warm Flesh

Slide It In

5. Do you respond to comments? Sometimes with significant delay, but yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? If we are just looking at the individual fic, I wrote a couple of episode codas during the Malec break-up in Shadowhunters that were fairly bleak. But I've never really written angst that isn't resolved by a follow-up fic or by the source material. I'm delicate. Ending author's notes don't count.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They are mostly pretty mushy! Can take your pick.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope

9. Do you write smut? Yeah, it's probably my primary vocation lmao. Though a pretty recent one! I had only written it twice ever before I started writing steddie.

10. Do you write crossovers? No, and I feel like this is not as common as it was when, like, LJ and ff dot net were the primary fandom sites.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Stucky........

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? lmao. I'm a quitter, so anything I start and don't finish in a sitting is at risk for this. My white whale, gogoboysteve, is the most fleshed out of my WIPs that I'm not sure I'll ever get all the way through.

16. What are your writing strengths? I am very funny. This is obviously good for comedy writing, which is my wheelhouse, but I think more dramatic writing is still set-up and punchline, even if the punchline isn't played for laughs.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? You know how pointing out your insecurities draws attention to them? I started listing stuff, decided that I don't want you noticing my eyebrows are more cousins than twins, and deleted it. I will say I think I am something of a one trick pony and comedy is also a bit of a crutch for me and nvm, Kam reblogged a post about finding your form as a writer, and I am not a one trick pony, I have just been called to write silly porn. My weaknesses are varied sentence structure and physical description.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done it, but I think it is fine as long as you are not using a translation software to do so.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Maximum Ride

20. Favorite fics you've written? I've said it before, but right now Path to the Rainbow's End because I finished it lmao. And I like the end product! The Floor of Heaven's Lain is also a favorite, I think the structure is fun and interesting, and I could read it immediately after I wrote it without picking it to pieces.

Tagging @postmodernau @cuips-not-cute @jamiethegardener55 @mustlovesteve

[00127am]

signed with love and forever yours, guanheng

postage. huang guanheng & gn! reader, cursing cost to ship. 730 words

there was a conversation that you had with ten during one of the first times we met. a private one that I caught just in the middle, centered around dating or maybe an old partner or two but primarily about love. you laughed when you told him that you've never seriously been called beautiful. i didn't find it funny, though I suppose i interrupted your thought. so perhaps there was an upcoming punch line that I never got to hear.

punch line or not, you took it so lightly. as if it didn't matter and brushed off ten's plethora of compliments with a wave of your hand. he wasn't undeterred but nor was he wholly serious. if i were to do the same, to tell you what i truly thought of you, would you reject me? if all my words were made seriously?

do you remember the time that we were driving back from dongguan in that shitty SUV ten rented? the one that only cost him a quarter of what it should and the same one that we were convinced was going to implode halfway through the drive. i was driving and you were in the passenger seat. hair splayed out on the headrest and head rolled back to look out the window that you refused to close (even after yangyang spat bugs out of his mouth, you just laughed). you had this look on your face that i could never recreate even if i tried. in this moment, like all others, i found you beautiful.

you made an offhand comment about how you'd like to be loved in the same way you love the summer. you used that word again. seriously. i almost confessed to you then and there. beginning of the phrase choked out by whatever yangyang had bursted out in song to on the radio (you could tell me it was adagio and i would believe you, more focused on you than anything he was doing in the backseat). you looked at me, and for a second, i thought you had heard me (or maybe i hoped you did). but then you tilted your head back and laughed along with ten. i almost confessed again.

i'm not exactly sure what you consider to be serious. though i've thought about it a lot. after all, how could no one have been serious about you? i'm afraid that i have a lot of competition (especially that guy from your apartment building that follows you around like a lost puppy, god, i hate him). they might be serious about you but so am i. to the point where i fear that i may never be serious about anyone ever again.

so if i were to confess. to tell you that you're beautiful. and that i love you like you love summer. seriously in every sense of the term. would you tell me that there was a punchline to that initial conversation i interrupted?

(i love you like you love summer. you're beautiful.)

about guanheng's love letters.

like him, hendery's handwriting is fast paced. bouncing from one line to the next with various errors and the scribbled lines of his script. despite following the pattern of his thoughts (jumping from one conclusion to the next), the letters find themselves to be unexpectedly romantic. though you suppose that such unadulterated honesty, raw and unedited, is the most endearing kind of love at the end all be all.

he writes on plain paper, no lines or margins. his words fill the page, slopping downward at an angle that only worsens with each new sentence. his writing his skewed, drawing your eyes in curved patterns down the length of the page. he includes drawings at whatever is left of the space, cutesy, shaky-handed caricatures of any and everything. next to his signature is the faint imprint of whatever lip tint or chapstick he had on, faded to the page (a thousand and one kisses dotted on every i).

hendery gave this letter to you head on, going on and on about being serious. you weren't sure what to expect, too flustered by the sudden pull back from the rest of your friend group to notice the flash of red smothering his cheeks. and when you did read it, understanding the full extent of what he had just thrust upon your hands-- you assured him that there was no punchline.

your mailbox

taglist. @evilsailorsenshi @222brainrot @marvelous-llama @clockwork--fandoms @yangasm @ikozen @trourevaille thank you for supporting me! ♡

🧾 © 00127am 2024

[frankenjoly]

17 + koulaine

27 + lemon futon

57 + mushiranpoe

koulaine + 17 | poison (annapantsu's cover)

So far beyond difficult 

To resist another gulp

Come to think about it, something she had done so quite a few times, putting an end to whatever that was would be the best for both parties involved; of that Kôyô had no doubt.

And yet, both kept seeking each other’s company.

Well, ‘company’ might not be a full-fledged euphemism, but also didn’t properly explain their relationship at all. Long story short, Verlaine and her interacting in pretty much any context which didn’t involve official mafia work always ended up in sparring, a makeout session that most times than not went way further than that… or both, usually but not exclusively in that order.

So there they were once again, with him being the one straddling her over the bed for a slight change, in the process of untying her obi before she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled Verlaine closer for a kiss.

“Do your best,” Kôyô said right after, as the obi’s knot got fully undone and she got rid of his jacket. “Or I might stop visiting.”

“I could say the same, you know?” As it usually happened, since taunting each other like that was how their previous quarrels tended to die down. Or escalate as they got intimate, that was a possibility too. “Since you wouldn’t enter here anyway if I don’t want to.”

Anyway, both talked just to talk, to get a reaction out of the other, and she knew that; if there was a constant between them, it was how getting entangled was going to be the end result no matter what.

lemon futon + 27 | my demons (caleb hyles' cover)

I need your help, I can’t fight this forever

I know you’re watching, I can feel you out there

Katai was trembling, both due to cold and fear; struggling to breath and with his teeth clattering, moving seemed like a titanic task right then and there, so it stood to reason he was going to remain there till he could either put himself together or someone came to his aid.

And the possibility of any of them happening in a short term timeframe were…

… Apparently higher than he had expected, given how barely a moment after thinking exactly that, Katai felt the familiar warmth of his futon being wrapped over his shoulders. Then, when he had the cloth secured by clutching onto it for dear life with one hand, the other got swiftly grabbed by the person who had helped him, guiding him away in a quick but easy to follow pace. Also, surprisingly enough, the relief striking his whole body didn’t wash away when he finally noticed who said person was:

No other than the Port Mafia’s volatile bomber-- well. As if he didn’t know him by name at that point.

“You looked like you needed an exit.” Kajii said, technically unprompted. But Katai was sure the question was written all over his face. “So I’m providing! Besides, no offense, but you’re not made for being at the front like, at all.”

Despite everything, Katai laughed a little.

“None taken, it’s true.”

mushiranpoe + 57 | helpless (hamilton)

One week later, I’m writin’ a letter nightly

“Dear Yokomizo,

Things became pretty hectic since last time I wrote to you, but calm has delightfully returned. A lot has changed, though, but I cannot really say I don’t like it.

I have recently gotten into writing myself, thanks to the encouragement of two… new friends, I’d say. Maybe more, to be honest, since I basically got asked out the other day. Heh, bet you’re jealous as hell-- alright, that might be an exaggeration. But, do you want to know something funny? They’re a detective and a mystery writer! And here I thought the universe didn’t have a sense of humor.

(It does, and the punchline’s me.)

Anyway, don’t laugh at me from wherever you are, because I might as well surpass you as a writer. And who will laugh then? Point is, I’m currently living my best life, I kid you not. In fact, I could even say I’m getting so popular I won’t even remember or miss--

Whatever. I also should tell you I have a new job too. Yes, different from what I was doing when we met before… before you were gone. A bit chaotic, but the pay sure makes it up for it.

And I’ve discovered a cafe you might have liked. Yes, also because of one of those two sweet souls my presence is blessing and…”

(Also on ao3.)

[genericpuff]

I've come to the stunning realization-

-that Lore Olympus is basically to the webtoons industry what Youtube Kids is to Youtube.

And I'm not talking about the general "Youtube Kids" label, I'm talking about those videos - Elsagate, Johny Johny, Cocomelon, Mickey Mouse tattooing Spongebob or whatever other weird example you can think of - which are explicitly designed to game the algorithm, turn views into money, and most of all, gain and keep the attention of the one demographic that won't question what they're consuming - children.

!!!!THIS POST HAS FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

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I mean, this is undoubtedly just a tinfoil hat theory, but think about it:

Bright oversaturated colors that are attention-grabbing.

Meme faces and 'lol rAnDoM' humor even when it doesn't suit the situation at all.

Art that's all around ugly and cheap on a technical level but still stands out due to its color design and prioritized advertising.

Vapid surface level scene-to-scene writing that doesn't connect or have any meaning in any coherent way.

One-dimensional projection characters who are easy to manipulate and sway for audience sympathy or anger even if those opinions change on a dime based on actions in the moment.

Cliffhangers that are less like true cliffhangers and more like clickbait. Episodes nowadays tend to be filled with drawn out plotlines, vague hints that can be applied to just about any school of thought, and non-sequitur memes to fill the time until they can hook the reader with another cliffhanger to keep them coming back next week.

Coin prices have gone up but episode length, substance, and quality have noticeably gone down. Even if they reach the same panel count they usually have, dialogue is minimal and pacing is brutally inconsistent to the point that plot progression is often non-existent.

Banner ads that run constantly, often in the first or second (or both) slots, with push notifications and pop-up ads also becoming more frequent whether you're subscribed to the comic or not.

And underneath ALL of that, we've got blatant objectifying and sexualization of female characters regardless of context, misogyny that claims to be progressive, racist undertones, borderline fetish content that constantly toes the Terms of Services line, normalization of problematic/toxic relationship dynamics, a creator who's more interested in 'getting back' at critics than writing an actual story, and underlying messaging both from the characters' and the creator's behavior that encourage witch-hunting, rejection of accountability, and blind devotion.

All this is essentially why I've given up consuming LO entirely, beyond just on a critical level as of late. There was a time long ago when I stuck around in the hopes it was going to get better, that maybe it was just going through a "rough patch" as some stories do. After that I stuck around because I wanted to see how it could possibly pull off its ending. And then after that, I simply stuck around for the laughs and community banter. But now I don't even find it funny anymore, the punchline of how bad it is has gotten incredibly old. And at this rate, as much as we'd like to believe it's going to end in its third season as it's been mentioned in the past, we also were told it was going to end between 100-200 episodes prior to that - the way it's going, I can't even stick around "for the ending" because LO is going to be around for as long as WT tries to milk it, despite it no longer having a heartbeat.

As much as I've loved talking shit about this comic and it's undoubtedly the main reason so many of you followed me here in the first place, I'm not going to lock myself in some kind of purgatory hell just to be proven what I already know is going to happen - either the comic continues on forever, doomed to be a lifeless mascot for the zombie corporation that is WT, or RS eats shit while trying to stick the landing with a plane that has no functional parts.

There's a quote from Caddicarus that I couldn't help but think of as I typed this up, from his nearly-decade-old review of Dalmations 3 (oh god, it's nearly been a decade since that video came out what the actual fuck-)

"And this is where I officially lost all fucking care. I realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon. It's one of those rare instances where the novelty of how awful everything is actually gets really tiresome and unfunny." - Caddicarus

[otakween]

Digimon Data Squad (Savers) - Episode 23

Not much happened in this one, but I was so engaged that it ended really quickly, so it must have done something right. The character writing is pretty strong this season, I think that's the main factor.

It's funny how the big bad of this arc is so chill. He's not as outright evil as previous villains, he seems more willing to reason (as Kurata says). Let's see where this goes...(also how many more big bads will we be getting, if any?)

Notes:

Ikuto's sure getting a lot of screen time, not that I'm complaining. The first chunk of the season had a lot of Tohma. I think Masaru's so simple and happy-go-lucky he doesn't need a ton of development (also has less trauma then the others). Yoshino is still underdeveloped imo and it doesn't really seem like they intend to go much deeper with her at this point (maybe later tho).

I keep forgetting to mention this, but Yoshino has a catchphrase and it's pretty lame. She's always saying "this is the worst." It's like...could they please develop her character instead of making her say catchphrases plz? (Also, she just kinda sounds whiny when she says it).

The governor dude is such a non-character. He's only there to nudge the plot forward but every time he's on screen my eyes glaze over.

They did the "evil shiny glasses" thing with Kurata...I hate the evil shiny glasses thing

Agumon and Masaru sleeping looked so peaceful (❁´◡`❁) Sleepy time role models honestly.

For some reason they didn't give Ikuto a pillow? He seems to be sleeping on a scrap of fabric and his boomerang...must have been personal preference.

Masaru's mom is kinda badass just suddenly taking in all these kids and digimon and treating them like her own. I liked how honest she was with Ikuto when he asked her what he should do. You can tell she's been through a lot with how unphased she was seeing Ikuto's room completely empty.

They lampshaded how unimpressive Insekimon is lol. That was satisfying

I was kinda hoping the punchline would continue and he'd be really weak, but they tried to make him seem strong.

Masaru and Merukimon talking like they're bros before the battle was fun. Weren't they supposed to negotiate tho...?

So the "device" from the last episode was called a digimon in the episode recap at the beginning of this one. So I guess it is a digimon? Who knows...I'm still not convinced (I guess there are synthetic digimon like Machinedramon)

[runn1ngn0se]

So I was thinking about all the new Runningnose content we got today, including his appearances in the new graphic novel and his new page on the website when I noticed something.

Long ago I wrote a post about how he started off as nothing but a single punchline "wouldn't it be funny if a medicine cat was always sick" joke character that they couldn't end up writing out of the story and therefor had to be turned into more and more of a serious character.

In this new set of content, they've denied that the original joke even exists.

His page talks nothing but of how he suffered under Brokenstar and Tigerstar's rules (even when you could have just slipped a "sickly" in his traits), and in the GN his mention is so quick and fleeting that nobody ever mentions that he can't cure his own cold.

They are trying to commit joke character revisionist history, but they can't fully commit to it because:

They can't rename him, so the second somebody inevitably has to mention the ShadowClan medicine cat that replaced Yellowfang, even the most newby reader is going to raise an eyebrow at his silly name.

They just can't help themselves, and they always have to give him a little snot bubble every time he is visually depicted

THEY WANT SO BADLY FOR YOU TO FORGET THAT THEY WROTE A JOKE CHARACTER, BUT THEY COVER IT UP COMPLETELY, AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT

[idkwhoaphextwinis]

I feel like I'm the only person who didn't enjoy The Substance (spoilers ahead).

I want to say that I appreciate the uniqueness of the film, both visually and story wise. Fargeat did a good job of organizing an incredibly complicated concept and got some really sick shots. I think both Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley were great, however I felt that the film often used the very conventions it was was fighting against and was incredibly unclear in the mechanics of the substance itself. I was disappointed when the film used Elisabeth's older body as a horror gag, using the physicalities of an aging person as both a punchline and an object of disgust. The movie did this often, using the main characters' and their bodies as a way to get a laugh or to make a spectacle. The entire point of the movie is the ridiculousness of these youthful standards, but the movie did absolutely no work to fight against the standards themselves, and if anything -- perpetuated the ideals through countless visuals of Sue contrasted with what was supposed to be a gross (old) Elisabeth. I don't know if I'm misreading it, but I was severely disappointed. In addition to misusing visual tools, there was also zero character development for either Elisabeth or Sue. I understand it would be difficult to delve into character if the film was shorter, but it was 2 hours and 20 minutes of one note characters. It felt as if all these women cared about was how they were perceived by men, and rather than putting the blame on the men who made them feel that way, it felt as though we were supposed to think the women were stupid in the choices they made. That being said, Sue evolved into more of a villain as the film went on, but I think that was a mischaracterization and a missed opportunity to write a nuanced character who was thrust into the world purely as an object of desire and fame. Dennis Quaid's character, although meant to be a satirical TV executive, fell incredibly flat due to his repetitive nature. The repetition of his lines in her head were done horribly, making his delivery seem funny rather than hold the weight it clearly had over both Elisabeth and Sue. Elisabeth and Sue both ended up dead for the standards which attacked them, but he was only embarrassed because of the live destruction of the monster. Also, I was confused by the fact that the two selves did not share a consciousness. It might be my own ignorance, so forgive me. Maybe it was commentary in itself to be purposefully vague, but it seemed as though they were living completely separate lives, they just had to rely on one another to share time properly. This may have also been a commentary on how easy it is to lose control, but I was still confused by this choice. The only thing bounding them together was the fact that one was a variant of the other, and that perhaps Elisabeth lived vicariously through Sue. The finale of the New Year's Eve show went too long and fell incredibly flat for me. I think it would have been far more radical to have Elisabeth live the rest of her life as the old woman and seek fulfillment in other areas of her life, in or out of the spotlight. If Elisabeth found a way to regain some sort of autonomy, it would have said a lot more about how we have the power within ourselves to chose to not let our appearance define us. Although maybe I'm partial to happy endings, Monstro-ElisaSue felt like a haphazard ending which asked the question "what is the most shocking way we could end this movie so that we can make one little audience member (me) throw up in the AMC bathroom afterwards?". It didn't fully wrap up the story for me, and felt really stupid. I understood the throwback of the boob growing in the middle of her face, but again that is so stupid and self-involved. I'm glad there are movies out there that are weird and different, but it didn't feel like an apt criticism of the anti-aging industry for me. I may also be biased because it hit a little close to home, but I am also so tired of watching movies in which women are put through such horrible things in the name of horror, art, commentary, and plot without any character development.

[thekimspoblog]

I'm passionate about Better Call Saul, but that passion doesn't neatly translate into love or hate. The whole series is an above-average origin story fanfic, but it is still at the end of the day an origin story fanfic, and has the same writing problems other prequels run into: There's plot contrivances, lots of pandering winks to the camera, and some moments where it just feels like the show runners were fucking around. I have nothing against the Breaking Bad formula of "Character makes plan, plan fails in unforeseeable way, character has to scramble to come up with a new plan" but by Season 6 it was getting pretty predictable. The fact that Howard is dead because Lalo saw a cockroach and also Kim lied to Jimmy for... (checks notes) basically no reason - that will never not be funny to me. Why shouldn't I find it funny? The show is paced like a comedy, and the punchline was a lawyer literally being buried in cement.

It's very obvious to me that in the process of creating Kim Wexler, they were making it up as they went along. Her character doesn't "evolve" over the course of the series so much as it does mutate rapidly. But that's what I find so interesting about this character; her plasticity. And that feeling extends to the rest of the show; it really bothers me when fans talk about it like it's some flawless masterpiece, because I think there's actually a lot questionable about the political worldview implied by the narrative. But just because it's overrated and fans should more readily poke holes in the storytelling doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it immensely. If the show was actually perfect, I wouldn't have anything to write fanfiction about; I'd be too intimidated. By the creator's own admission, this show started as a shitpost and ended up taking itself seriously, and while it's still a triumph in its own right that they pulled it off, you can still see the pencil marks if you know where to look. But I love that because starting with a joke premise and then finding heavy drama in it half way through, that's how I tend to write. I look at this series and think to myself "Yeah I could totally do that". It makes me want to stick my hands in the bowl and start kneading the dough, and that kind of love is unmatched.

[milleart]

hello! it's your 7kpp secret santa here! it's very interesting to see someone who pairs their mcs with blain AND jarrod! the doc included in the spreadsheet is much appreciated! *puts on interviewer hat* some questions i would like to ask are:

we all know that blain can't stand the mcs simply because she exists, but is there a deeper reason to why he loathes nayeli during the summit (apart from the blackmail 🤭)

from the doc it seems like lien hua doesn't seem to love jarrod in a romantic manner, so how would she answer someone who asks her what does she like about her husband?

happy holidays and a happy new year!

hiiiii anon, hope you're having a wonderful new year and thank you so much for putting the effort for ssanta ❤️ i guess i do have a thing for 'difficult' romances and messy relationships ahaha...

my reply ended up being a bit rambly so i put it under a read more, hope it all makes sense!!

re: nay and blain he could probably write a whole essay on 'why nayeli is the absolute worst' but to put it short, while blain's a petty person in general a lot of what makes nayeli nayeli is a direct antithesis to what makes blain blain.

nay's very playful and teasing and her little jokes and jabs poke blain just where it hurts the most aka his pride. he invests a lot of effort in his appearance and status but nay's irreverent humor just completely undermines that, she turns his vanity into a punchline and doesn't even have the decency to react appropriately cowed when he gets angry about it, she just finds it even more funny.

even when she's being honest with her praise he doesn't really know how to deal with it, it's praise so it makes him happy on some level but then it being nayeli immediately sours it, he doesn't know how to take it from someone like her and just chalks it up to sarcasm

on top of that she makes him feel irrelevant which is like the worst thing for someone whose entire identity is built on being the center of attention. this especially rankles him with ana because he tries SO hard to charm her but ana just doesn't give a shit. meanwhile nay makes some stupid little joke and ana's howling with laughter and slapping her knee. and it feels like every other time he finds ana nayeli's not too far behind. it's actually just because she gets along well with ana and they have fun spending time together but to him it's personal.

and to make things worse she just seems to be everywhere, always up to something. and she just doesn't seem to care about anything, about what people think - and that just doesn't compute to someone who constantly behaves as if the entire world was watching him. he doesn't catch on until much later that she thrives on being underestimated and seen as some silly airheaded hise weirdo - and by the time he does catch on, she's already got his secrets in her grasp.

---

re: lien hua and jarrod

lien hua's feelings on jarrod are kind of complicated and they don't really turn romantic until muuuuuuuuuuch later.

she finds him relatively straightforward in behaviour, while she enjoys the challenge of 4d chess conversations where everything has 7 different meanings, it's tiring to be constantly on guard and analyzing. meanwhile jarrod's someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and says what he thinks, even if it's rude or crass. and it's frustrating, yes, especially since someone in his position should KNOW BETTER but at the same time it means she doesn't have to guess. and that's nice.

he also has a lot of passion and knowledge about the few specific things he cares about and they might not be things lien hua super enjoys doing herself but it's interesting. it's more than just smacking things with a sword, there's strategy and quick thinking and graceful movements. there's tracking prey, understanding how it thinks, knowing its habits, waiting for the right moment to strike. she once asked about the kind of weapon he uses and whether it was a longsword or a greatsword and the answer was a rant so intensely autistic hyperfixation-like she was positively starry-eyed. she likes that side of him.

at the same time, there's also something she doesn't consciously realize or is unwilling to admit to herself, but for the longest time she sees him as a kind of project. she's been raised in a pretty isolated way, the summit has her learn to apply her knowledge and influence outside of books and debates and there's a huge power rush in that, in being able to influence someone like him, nudge him to be something better. it's very patronising and naive, even if it comes from a place of good intentions.

it's really only after shit goes completely sideways with the exile and the long and humiliating road back to jiyel when they're both thrust completely outside of their comfort zones that things really change for them and lien hua realizes her feelings aren't so… easily categorized. that it catches up to her that maybe you don't really put yourself between someone and an angry mob just because they're a funny project for you to fix. they're both completely out of their element - jarrod stripped of his power and title and everything he was taught to believe was owed to him, lien hua's unshakeable belief that no matter what at least she's SMART having completely blown up in her face because her machiavellian plan of fixing everything went to hell - and forced to lower their defenses and really rely on eachother, plus a nice heaping of trauma bonding on top and… things happen :3c

--

thank youuuu for reading all this and i hope it helps, if i can clarify anything further still just ask 🙏

[duckiedaledeservedbetter]

finished a:tla netflix

here are some thoughts (idk, they might be controversial)

Things I liked:

Avatar itself is so good that even a bad adaptation is enjoyable, and i really enjoyed seeing the avatar world in live-action style, especially Omashu !!!

Ian Ousley was born to play Sokka idc what anybody else says, idc about the butchered character arc, or the personality changes or any of that, Ian Ousley is the live-action Sokka we deserve and he ate every scene (except one, which i WILL be mentioning later)

Like seriously Sokka has never given such big bro energy before and i'm living for it, Ian looks like Sokka, sounds like Sokka, and imo carried the show a bit.

I love a good long episode, none of this percy jackson 30 minute nonsense.

Fire Nation costumes HIT - like some of the other costumes were lacking but the fire nation uniforms and armor ? amazing.

They kept so much of the original music !!!

Honestly the bending was pretty good. i fully expected it to suck and be super cringey but there were really only a few moments of cringe for me.

Lieutenant Jee!!! best character!!! best casting!!! amazing, 10/10.

Like seriously though Omashu looked amazing, Agna Q'ela looked amazing, the southern air temple looked AMAZING.

Hahn was cute, i liked Hahn.

Blue Spirit accuracy omg i am so glad they stuck so closely to the original blue spirit storyline.

Gran gran was giving, ngl.

Again, Ian Ousley as Sokka. Show stopping.

Things I didn't like (sorry, the list is long):

sorry, gordon cormier did not do Aang justice. maybe it was the writing? idk, either way, Aang was not Aang-ing and he was honestly boring ? also i'm pretty sure Gordon is age-accurate (?) but if i had to guess his age with no prior knowledge i would guess 9. maybe 10. idk. i get that Aang is a kid but idkkkkkk I was just disappointed ig.

KATARA. ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. DON'T EVEN ASK, WE ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. Like, i never even liked Katara that much in the og show but dang, they ruined her.

besides katara, Iroh seemed the least character accurate to me. like, in the very first scene in the og show when Zuko is practicing his firebending iroh gets on his case for doing it wrong or whatever and he def has some attitude about it. like, Iroh isn't all chill all the time, let him have some attitude. also where was the wisdom? I felt a bit like i was watching endgame Thor - like iroh was kind of a joke? idk, i couldn't take his character seriously. the actor fell flat for me. bland. didn't sound like iroh, didn't really look like him. writing was weird.

THE PART WHERE THEY HEAL MOMO IN THE POND AND AND AND SOKKA - HUGS HIM ???? LIKE THAT ???? WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS ???? IM CRYING IT WAS SO CRINGE LIKE WHY DID I HAVE TO WATCH THAT WHAT WAS THE POINT

Maybe it was just me but Zhao's actor delivered all his lines like jokes with no punchlines. and he also was not remotely intimidating.

SORRY DANIEL DAE KIM I LOVE YOU BUT no. he didn't do Ozai justice (but really, who could possibly stand up to the performance of mark hamil?)

it wasn't funny. straight up. the whole show. just. not funny.

idk maybe i'm just a nitpicky bitch but none of the performances really hit except Ian's. that's my biggest complaint. they can change what they want (it is an "adaptation" after all) but none of the actors felt right. ig dallas liu wasn't bad ? ian ousley was great, but that's about it.

butchered bumi storyline. no thank you. i will be pretending that didn't happen.

i really just wanted to see live action sokka in kyoshi warrior makeup tbh.

ALSO STRAIGHT UP WHY DID EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HOW SOKKA WASN'T A WARRIOR ??? LIKE YEAH VALIDATE HIS ENGINEERING PASSION AND WHATNOT BUT HE IS A WARRIOR? THAT IS PART OF HIS CHARACTER ? AN IMPORTANT PART ? THAT CARRIES HIS ARC TO THE VERY END OF THE SHOW ? LIKE HE IS A WARRIOR? A NON-BENDING WARRIOR ? idk man don't @ me i stan warrior sokka, it's literally a big part of the show, his growth from child to warrior, his training with piandao, his training with the kyoshi warriors, etc etc. like, it's important.

i feel like they took the wisdom and hard-hitting lines right out of the show. "youre just a child." "well, youre just a teenager." etc etc.

idk. it was fine overall. i watched it. i enjoyed it. i wish it could've been better-acted and more faithful to the original but you win some you lose some.