#how can we get these two on the celebrity version of the Great British Bake Off?

[fyeaheddiemunson]

Ok. But look at Joe's face when Jamie says he never saw him as Eddie.

[kirayaykimura]

Obi’d had dreams once. He’d wanted to be a director. He’d almost finished his sixth semester at UCLA before bad decisions and worse friends finally caught up with him and rerouted his life to where he was always meant to be: bartending, unable to make ends meet without three roommates, amounting to nothing and no hope for anything different in the future.

Except now, apparently. One of said three roommates, a journalist named Zen who was as uptight as he was fair-skinned, had talked Obi into waking up early for a perfect opportunity to get back to what you actually want to do. No, I’m not taking no for an answer. Up at 7 of your own volition or I get Mitsuhide to carry you out to the car in the morning. Which was how he found himself interviewing for a PA position on the set of the American version of the Great British Bake-off. He couldn’t even land an AD position. No, he was interviewing to be a production assistant for a lazy cash grab of a reality show that no one was going to watch. 

“Why am I here?” Obi asked. 

Haruka, the director and Obi’s interviewer, paused mid-sentence. One eyebrow raised, clearly telegraphing his displeasure at being interrupted. 

“This is an interview,” Haruka said. “Or have you never had one of those before.” 

Obi usually liked sass. Under different circumstances, he thought they might actually get along. As it was, though, he was confused and cranky from getting two hours of sleep and really not in the mood to just lie back and think of England. 

“I didn’t apply for this job,” Obi said. 

“Well, someone did. And as I’m conducting this interview as a personal favor to the Wistarias, I can only assume you’ve caught the eye of one of them.” 

Wistaria. As in Zen Wistaria? Did that kid think any position on a set was good enough? A director could also be the caterer! Because why not! 

“Look,” Haruka said, “I’ve heard you had your sights set on being a director, but the truth is, you didn’t even finish film school and you have zero experience. Even though nepotism is alive and well enough to get you this interview, I won’t pretend I’m even considering you for the AD role.” 

Well, Obi could appreciate the honesty. At least they wouldn’t have to pretend Haruka had stumbled on his short film from sophomore year Pomegranate, A Tragedy in Three Acts and found it so brilliant he had to hire Obi on the spot. 

“However,” Haruka said, “we have a slightly unique role we’re looking to fill. Impress us, and I’ll consider you for something closer to what you want to do in the future.” 

Great. That meant he was going to get paid an assistant’s wage to do three people’s jobs. There was also no way it was going to be more than what he pulled in at the bar. Still, though, he was already in the room. Might as well hear what the job was. Plus, he wasn’t exactly sure where his ride home had wandered off to. 

“Impress me with the job duties and we’ll talk,” Obi said. 

Haruka’s jaw twitched in irritation, and Obi flashed his most obnoxious grin. That’s right. Obi wasn’t some desperate, starry-eyed kid willing to swallow on his knees and say, “Thank you.” This wasn’t the life Obi got to want anymore. If they wanted him, they’d need to make a damn good case for why he should give up the current stability in his life for the unknown. 

Haruka’s eyes flicked over to the door, then back to Obi. He asked, “How do you feel about being this annoying on camera?” 

A week later, Obi strolled onto the studio lot where they’d be shooting the Great American Bake-off: Trial by Fire. Aka, they want the name recognition while assuring everyone this would align with the American sense of intense competition. It didn’t really make sense to Obi since the draw of the original was the sense of camaraderie and celebration of human kindness, but since his job was to ensure that didn’t happen, he should probably stop thinking that. 

After a few wrong turns and directions from very harried PAs - should he have brought a clipboard and ten thousand pens tucked behind his ears and in various pockets as well? - he found the right place, just on time to be the last one there. They were instructed to wait in a green room that looked more like a warehouse to Obi for how big it was. Even with a couple folding tables of breakfast pastries, fruit, and coffee, the other eleven contestants had plenty of room to fan out. By coming in late, he’d hoped that everyone would be deep in conversation with at least one other contestant and he could size up the “competition” without being noticed or having to explain why he was totally listening to where John Smith lived and how bad the traffic was on Wilshire that morning while his eyes roamed the room. 

He found Zen first. The kid’s hair was a very unique shade of blond; made it easy to spot in him a crowd. He was talking to a cute little red-head a few inches shorter than Zen. The way he smiled softly at her while she gestured to the room, clearly excited to just be in the holding room before the actual kitchen, told Obi that Zen was half-way to being in love already and that girl was trouble. Not in the traditional sense, but her cutesy wholesome act didn’t bode well for the fight-to-the-death vision all the higher-ups clearly had in mind. 

A few feet away, his other two roommates - Kiki and Mitsuhide - were chatting amiably. Well, Mitsuhide was amiable. Kiki was as stoic as ever. Obi wondered if Zen had rounded up everyone he knew for the show. Was this whole room packed with Zen’s acquaintances? 

While it was possible - he hadn’t known Zen that long - he didn’t recognize anyone else in the room. Two tall blond twin dudes who looked more creepy than they did hot, a dark-haired guy trying to flirt with an obviously uninterested brunette, and a trio of ridiculously attractive women nursing coffees in silence in the corner to Obi’s left. 

“Sizing the competition up?” a voice drawled near his right shoulder. 

Only years of practice from living in a big city kept Obi from jumping. Showing fear meant making yourself a target. He glanced side-long at the man who had snuck up on him. They guy was probably Obi’s age, about mid-twenties, with silky black hair pulled up into an artfully messy ponytail. He had sharp eyes and a sardonic smile. 

Obi hated him instantly. 

“Hisame,” the man said mildly, reaching a hand out for Obi to shake. 

Obi wished he would go His-away. Forever. (Should he say that one on camera? That was the sort of embarrassingly stupid shit people who watched reality tv loved to gif and make fun of on Twitter.) 

“I’m not here to make friends,” Obi said, ignoring the outstretched hand.

Hisame’s lips quirked in a slight approximation of an amused smile. “Are you quoting The Bachelor at me?” 

It was the only other reality show he’d ever watched. Girls liked it for some reason, and, well, he liked girls. 

“No,” he lied as some assistant came in and ushered them into their version of the tent, which turned out to be a soulless sound stage with a green screen backdrop. 

“We’ll add in the Hollywood Hills later,” the assistant explained. 

Sure. They were half an hour from the actual Hollywood Hills, but sure. They’d add it all in post. Sometimes movie magic was fun, but most of the time Los Angeles was just depressing. 

The assistant pointed out everyone’s work stations. Zen was right in front. The cute redhead took the other front workstation. Mitsuhide was near the middle. Kiki got the second to last station catty corner from Obi, who shared the back row with Hisame. 

“Pleasure to see you as always, Miss Seiran,” Hisame murmured to Kiki while the PA gave them all a run-down on the do’s and don’ts of being on camera that no one but Mitsuhide was paying any attention to. 

She turned to nod politely back at him. “Hisame.” 

Interesting. She must have caught Obi’s delighted grin because she shot him her iciest stare until he backed down first, breaking eye contact and focusing instead on putting on his apron. He wasn’t really afraid of Kiki, but he was a little afraid of Kiki. He’d be a fool not to be. She literally taught krav maga classes. He was scrappy, but they both knew she could kick his ass without even breaking a sweat. He wasn’t exactly proud of it, but he’d had more than one dream about her holding him down and-

“Everyone ready?” the PA asked. Without waiting for an answer, she said, “Good. Great. We’re doing this in real time, so please try not to have any medical emergencies. That would really fuck up our schedule.” And with that, it was show time. 

Half an hour in, Obi wondered why he was there at all. Like sure, he could fuck up plans like nobody’s business, but the real competition was baking. Artistry. He managed to set a fire boiling water once (long story short: don’t leave plastic spatulas where they could potentially fall onto hot burners), so baking perfect, beautiful, delicious cookies? Probably not going to happen. The plan was to deal with whatever he made and have the hosts declare they “tasted perfect, but maybe work on presentation next time,” and let him coast at least a few weeks until it became too suspicious to let him keep going. Still, though, he didn’t want to, like, poison Izana or Haki. 

He slid his cookie sheets into his oven, set his timer, and looked up to find a borderline irate Haruka making unsubtle glances at the cute redhead - Shirayuki - in the front row. Whoops. Guess he’d been a little more focused on which one’s sugar, which one’s salt, don’t add cups of salt than he’d thought. 

Obi shrugged slightly in apology, then sauntered up to the front just in time to hear Shirayuki say, “I have some time. Can I help?” 

“Yes, actually,” Zen said, shoulders dropping from tensed to relieved at her words. “Thank you. I’d-” 

“What a coincidence,” Obi cut in. He leaned a hip against Shirayuki’s abandoned station with her oven right behind him. “I also have some time and some free hands.” 

“Just the one pair will do,” Zen told Obi. The underlying message was, I know you’re up to something. Go away. Obi simply grinned in response. 

“And you, Miss Shirayuki?” Obi asked. He watched as she slid on a pair of oven mitts and pulled Zen’s cookies out for him. Zen’s hands were currently covered in icing and blue dye. He’d be stained for days. Obi was very much looking forward to calling him Grouchy Smurf tomorrow morning. The kid did not handle mornings well. 

“Me what?” Shirayuki asked, polite but distracted. 

Perfect. Obi subtly pulled the oven door behind him open just a crack. It should be small enough to go unnoticed for a while, but big enough to throw off the temperature and make the cookies...he didn’t know. That was beyond his pay grade. Probably flat or something. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Obi said. “I can see I’m not useful here. I’ll just be on my way.” 

The man behind Shirayuki’s workstation - Tsuruba, according to the plaque at the edge of his station - caught Obi’s eye as he was leaving. Tsuruba’s gaze flicked to the open oven, then back to Obi. Obi met the clear question with a silent one of his own: are you going to stop me? 

Three, two, one. Tsuruba’s gaze flicked away, and Obi strolled back to his own station with a pleased pep in his step. 

Okay, so he did feel a little bad watching Shirayuki freak out about her cookies. She managed to scrape by just fine, though. In the bottom half for sure, but she still managed to do better than Kiki, Tariga, and Yuzuri. And Obi, he was sure, if the playing field had been level. He made a point to leave her alone for the second round, choosing to focus on making Hisame and Mitsuhide’s lives harder than they needed to be when they both offered to lend a hand to Kiki, but Haruka had him back on Shirayuki’s tail for the final show-stopper. He leaned over her station, chin in hands, and waited for her to notice him as she pulled her gingerbread cookies out of her oven. The sides, it looked like, of what was apparently to be a gingerbread greenhouse with shortbread plants inside. She'd even promised functioning doors. It was ambitious enough that she probably wasn't going to have time to help anyone else, so he was standing in as a sort of buffer against anyone else lending her a hand.

“Oh,” Shirayuki said, slightly startled, when she did, in fact, finally notice he was in front of her. “It’s you.”

“At your service.” He stood up and nodded back at the rest of the room. “I thought I’d come see if you need any help since no one else wants me around.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Zen snarked under his breath.

Shirayuki frowned, eyes darting between the two men. It wouldn’t do if she was suspicious of him, so he changed the topic and said, “Icing. I’m great at it. What are we thinking? Royal?”

“Well,” Shirayuki said, still frowning, “yes, but it’ll harden before we can use it if we make it now.”

“Right,” he said. Of course she knew that. “Good call.”

She was clearly still suspicious and he wasn’t helping his case at all, so he plastered on his most innocent smile and awaited her verdict in silence. Which was probably for the best; his mouth was always the thing to get him in trouble anyway.

“But I do need some buttercream frosting,” Shirayuki said after a long moment. “If you’re sure you don’t have anything you need to be doing.” She still seemed wary of him, but she was letting him in anyway. She was either incredibly stupid or incredibly naive. Either way, it worked in his favor.

“I’m still waiting for mine to cool,” Obi said, making his way around to Shirayuki’s side of the station. She was swapping out another tray of gingerbread for a few trays of shortbread, so Obi set up the mixer on the other end. Buttercream. Butter was probably in it, right? And...cream?  He was using royal icing; he didn’t need to know the recipe for any other frostings.

“Have you,” Shirayuki asked slowly, “ever made buttercream frosting before?”

On anyone else, it would have sounded like a judgment, but he got the feeling that wasn’t what was happening here. She simply seemed curious but cautious, like she didn’t want to offend him if it wasn’t true.

He had two options. One was to lie, of course, but he knew she’d know it was a lie and he’d lose any sliver of trust he might still have from her. The other option was to fess up and hope she found it charming instead of the deeply dubious it actually was.

He ran a hand through the back of his hair and laughed self-deprecatingly. “Is it that obvious?”

“A little. Sorry.” She shot him a small, amused smile as she gathered the ingredients for him. (Coffee creamer, he noted, was not among the items.) “I have to ask, though: how did you get on a baking competition without knowing how to make buttercream frosting?”

A good question. A very good question.

“I’m better at other things. I don’t really do icings.” The key to lying was confidence. He had no idea if what he was saying made any sense at all, but he knew he’d said it with conviction.

“So you’re good at bread?” Shirayuki ventured.  

Bless her and her trusting heart.

“Bread. Exactly. I’m great at bread.”

He had never made bread in his life.

“How about I take care of the icing, then,” Shirayuki said, inching him out of the way.

Fine by him. He hopped up on the last (tiny) clear section of counter and watched her plop a frankly upsetting number of sticks of butter into the Kitchenaid bowl. Maybe he could distract her enough that she would mess up her frosting and have to redo it a few times. That would press her for time, which would probably be exciting, right?

“Is this your thing, then?” he asked. At her look of confusion, he clarified, “You asked me earlier how I got on the show. Are cookies your thing, or will you wow us all another week?”

Her brow furrowed slightly. She said, “Oh. I guess I don’t really have a thing.”

“So you’re great at everything?”

“Well, I wouldn't say that. I’m not great at making bread.”

Shit. Was it really that hard? He was doomed.

“Honestly?” she said. “I think I just got lucky, getting on the show.”

Obi stilled. He didn’t do emotions. He wasn’t equipped to help this girl through whatever crisis of confidence she was having at him right now. But when she peered up at him with those big, guileless eyes, he found himself wanting to be whatever she needed.

“Obviously I’ll work super hard,” Shirayuki said with a quick shake of her head. She checked the butter and started organizing her food coloring next to various small bowls. “I’m grateful to be here, but baking isn’t really my thing.”

“Not your thing, huh?” Obi asked. “What is your thing?”

“Plants," she said simply.

“Obviously.” Obi pointed to the gingerbread that would become a greenhouse with a lot of effort and imagination. “So why not look for a botany competition or something? Why agree to come on this one?”

When Shirayuki looked up at him again, all traces of self-doubt were replaced with steadfast determination. She said, “Because someone told me I couldn’t.”

Well, fuck. There went his plan of being a good little plant for Haruka. Breaking into Hollywood was a pipe dream anyway. He’d much rather help this feisty girl with a score to settle.

Without a glance over at Haruka, Obi said, “Well then, Miss Shirayuki, let’s get your cookies in the chiller so you have more time to frost them. It sounds like you have someone to prove wrong.”

[magaliemagpie]

The Wheel of the Year

The Wheel of the Year is celebrated (usually) by Pagans and looks at the annual cycle of seasonal festivals. It includes the solstices and equinoxes, as well as the midpoints between them. As the festivals are based on British Paganism from the mid-20th century, there are Celtic Fire Festivals (or “Cross-Quarter Days”) which count for 4 of the festivals altogether - if you don’t want to celebrate these, then it’s perfectly alright not to. The Wheel of the Year is cyclical and so follows the idea of life, death and rebirth. Also, just because you practice witchcraft, doesn’t mean that you have to follow the Wheel of the Year - Witchcraft is not a religion, but a practice.

However, I follow the Wheel of the Year and so that’s why I’m putting this out there!

So to start, we’ve got our Solar Festivals;

Yule (Winter Solstice)

Ostara (Spring Equinox)

Litha (Summer Solstice)

Mabon (Autumnal Equinox)

The Solar Festivals celebrate the peak of each season and are decided by where the sun is in relation to the Earth.

And then there’s our Celtic Fire Festivals;

Imbolc/Bride

Beltaine

Lughnasadh/Lammas

Samhain

The Celtic Fire Festivals are the “entry” to the season and are seen to have tons of seasonal energy. This energy is usually released with a bonfire being lit. They’re like the midpoints between the Solstices and the Equinoxes, and can be called “Cross-Quarter Days”.

The Wheel of the Year isn’t the “End-All” or “Complete Collection” of festivals that you can celebrate, but it gives structure to the year and so most witches adapt to it. If there’s a holiday that you have and love, add it in and have some fun!

Samhain

"The end and the beginning of the Celtic Year” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from October 31st to November 1st

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from April 30th to May 1st

So, I pronounce this like “sow-en” but I am Irish so it’s that Gaeilge accent coming out of me. This is also known as “Halloween” to those that don’t follow the Wheel of the Year, or “All Hallow’s Eve”. When we look at the cyclical nature of the Wheel of the Year, it stands for that in between moment where we stare and anticipate death. During this festival, the veil between the Living and the Dead is thin, and so it’s about remembering those that have passed before us.

Typically, witches will work with the dead and try to communicate with spirits and wandering ghosts.

Yule

“Festival of rebirth, midwinter, the shortest day and longest night of the year” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from December 20th to the 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from June 20th to 23rd

Pronounced exactly how it looks, Yule is also called “Midwinter” commonly and “Alban Arthan” within modern Druid traditions. It’s the turning point of the year where we celebrate the fact that the sun is coming back and with it the life of the Earth. Basically we’re sick of winter and want summer back.

Typically, witches celebrate with warm drinks, Yule logs and evergreen trees decorated for the spirits of winter.

Imbolc/Imbolg/Bride

“The Earth’s awakening” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from January 31st to February 2nd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from July 31st to August 2nd

This festival has a lot of names, in case you couldn’t tell. Pick whichever you prefer and vibe with it - it honestly doesn’t really matter which you choose because they all mean the same festival in essence. So Bride isn’t pronounced how you think it is, it’s “bri-ja” like the word “bridge” but stretched out. It is not pronounced like a groom and bride!

Imbolg celebrates the return of spring, and is originally a festival that celebrated the goddess Brigid, later turned into Saint Brigid through Christianisation.

Typically, witches will light torches and celebrate using fire in every form, symbolising the light that is coming with Spring.

Ostara

“The first day of Spring, day and night are equal” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from March 21st to 22nd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from September 21st to 22nd

This festival is attributed to Eostre (an Old English Goddess/ Anglo-Saxon Goddess). Basically, it’s about how excited everyone is now that spring is here. Ostara is now Easter - hares and eggs are the symbols of Eostre. The Equinox is all about fertility, new life and the idea of harmony and balance. Light and dark are equal, and the light is only growing stronger. Bluntly put, Ostara is the run-up for Beltaine (the prep work kinda?), since it’s all gaining the favour of a fertility goddess which is then put to the test at the next festival .

Typically, witches will paint eggs and basically dedicated the festival to celebrating fertility.

Beltaine

“ Heralding Summer, festival of fertility” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated on the 1st of May

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from October 31st to November 1st

So I’m cheating on this one..... Beltaine (”bell-ten-aah”) can be spelt Bealteinne, Bealtaine and Beltane, but I’m Irish so I use the Irish/Gaeilge spelling and pronunciation.

Beltaine is the first day of summer and was celebrated by people jumping over fires to ensure their fertility - it was symbolic and the idea that if you cleared the fire with no problems, then you’re definitely gonna be fertile and conceive super easily. The veil between the world is thin during this time, and so it’s perfect to communicate with spirits - human and not.

Typically, witches have a lot of sex and go for nature walks.

Litha

“Summer’s height, the longest day and the shortest night” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from June 20th to the 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from December 20th to 23rd

At the Summer Solstice, the sun is high and bright in the sky and is at its peak for the year. It can be called “Midsummer” as well, as after it the dark starts to creep back into our days.

Here’s a fun fact, so June is blessed with the Mead Moon or Honey Moon, and as June was considered super lucky, couples would get married during it. Newlyweds would have to drink mead all day for a month after their wedding for tradition and so this period of time was known as their “honeymoon”, and is where we get the term from!

Typically, witches will eat fresh fruits and experience the power of the sun through meditating outdoors, going for a walk, and charging spells, crystals, and herbs. Divination is practised at night during this time!

Lughnasadh/Lammas

“Festivals of gratitude and marriage” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from July 31st to August 1st

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from February 1st to 2nd

So this is a bit different..... this festival has two names coming from two different origins and this can affect how you celebrate (you can also choose to just not care about that too, either-or really). Lughnasadh is an old way of spelling it, but the modern Irish way is spelt Lúnasa (”loo-na-sah”), if you prefer one way of spelling over the other then choose that one (they’re pronounced the same btw!).  Lammas is the Anglo-Saxon version and translates to loaf mass, whereas Lughnasagh was dedicated to the Celtic god of fire, Lugh.

It’s the festival of the first harvest, so things like baking bread and eating fruits, handfasting and just having a great time on a hill or a mountain (this is something people did for Lugh but I’ll go over that another time).

Typically, witches will bake bread in the shape of a man and eat it, drinking wine (personally, I like rosé) and all around just doing things that relax you.

Mabon

“Festival of harvest, when day and night are equal” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from September 20th to 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from March 20th to 23rd

This.... This right here..... This is my favourite festival. It’s also known as Meán Fómhair (”man” - “foh-er”/”fore” - depends on dialect) in Irish/Gaeilge and is about sharing the last of the harvest amongst others. There’s a lot of bread baking for this holiday as well and I am absolutely enthralled about that. It’s got all the vibes of spiced apples, cinnamon sticks and pastry pies rolled up into one.

Typically, witches will bake apple pie and bread, do some autumn house cleaning, and decorate using acorns and corn.

And that’s the Wheel of the Year! I’ll have a more in depth post where I go over each festival to the point of tears, but for now this is the bare bones of it all!

Thanks for coming to my Witch Talk xx

[humboldtfog]

Years of depression has prepared me very well for the current state of affairs which is weird but whatever here’s a list of my faves on netflix, if I’m missing something let me know cause now’s the time, right?

I'm kinda embarrassed by how long this list is but also kinda like fuck that, there have been very long periods of time where it was either sit and watch shows all day or lie down and stare at the wall in silence all day so I chose the former and it adds up and there's nothing wrong with that.

Glow (Badass ladies learn to wrestle, great 80s aesthetics and grrrrl power.)

Our Planet (Netflix version of Planet Earth, beautiful, cute, terrifying that we aren’t doing more to save us all.)

Bojack Horseman (Hilarious and “deep” critique of LA and celebrity culture for people who don’t care about LA or celebrity culture. Also very funny visual jokes about how if animals were also kinda humans, and lots of great jokes about cliches and tropes, puns, and weirdly rhyming and alliteration? I don’t know how to explain it just watch it.)

Father Brown (BBC, based on mystery novels about a priest who always meddles in police business and solves murders in his small English countryside town.)

Pose (The Ball scene in NY in the 80s, poc queer and trans writers and actors bringing their people’s stories to life. So much joy, so much beauty, but also NYC in the 80s so you will cry.)

Paris is Burning (Documentary made during the Ball scene Pose is based on.)

Sex Education (Such empowering representations of all walks of gender and sexuality, and actually very educational, like I would straight up show this in schools because everyone would be very entertained and would learn a lot more than they teach in a lot of schools.)

What Happened Miss Simone (Documentary about Nina Simone’s life, music and the activism the establishment/ government worked to suppress and used to blacklist her.)

Night on Earth (Low light camera technology has gotten hella good and they’re starting to learn stuff about animals’ behaviors at night that they’ve never been able to study before.)

Call the Midwife (Follows stories from the midwives that worked in the East End of London after the war, based on memoirs. Interesting look at the kind of life of poverty people led before there were many large hospitals or birth control, right as the British were implementing their universal healthcare program.)

The Great British Baking Show (Everyone’s so nice and everything looks so good!)

Atypical (Dramady about a high schooler with autism and his family, very funny and great representations of autism and how to be a good dude.)

Parks and Recreation (Just very funny and everyone knows it. Amazing ensemble cast, and they still keeps in touch through a group chat awww doesn’t that say something!)

Kim’s Convenience (Canadian comedy about family of first and second gen Korean immigrants that’s just a really solid funny modern day sitcom.)

Queer Eye (I feel like if everyone in this world could get a life makeover from these guys we just wouldn’t be here right now.)

Obvious Child (Jenny Slate accidentally gets pregnant and gets an abortion. It’s funny and it’s realistic, we’re not all Juno.)

Maria Bamford: the Special Special Special (Rad lady comedian not afraid to talk about her mental health and lack thereof and very vocal about the stigma surrounding mental health problems and I very much relate to. My favorite standup probably ever. I could make a list just for standup so message me if you’d like more suggestions.)

Monty Python (Flying Circus, movies, doc, ect. “The Beatles of comedy” is the cliche but it's true.)

Easy (Very unconventional non-narrative structure and editing, following random people in Chicago in a very real life feeling way. Different story each episode, but sometimes characters show up briefly in each other’s lives or return for a second episode.)

Everything Sucks! (High school nerds and lesbians and theater geeks in the 90s! I’m so sad this only got one season I rewatched it recently and it’s just so solid.)

She’s Gotta Have It (Revival of Spike Lee’s first movie, black girl magic, art world, gentrified New York, lots of sex.)

The Office (Classic, holds up very well, totally solid throughout, worth a rewatch. Also if you're a fan Jenna Ficher and Angela Davis are doing a rewatch podcast jsyk.)

Billy on the Street (Mindless game show for laughs, amazing gay comedian runs around New York yelling questions at them. I watch this with my dad and he can’t help but snort even when it’s “inappropriate” or “juvenile” so you know it’s good.)

Good Girls (Some lower middle class family ladies that are all about to be broke decide to rob the grocery store one of them works at, but they accidentally cross a gang that stored their cash there, so they gotta pay it back, and of course can’t help but get deeper and deeper into it. Very suspenseful like your heart rate will go up and stay up. )

Arrested Development (It’s just funny, as you've probably heard, but I'm telling you it just really is.)

The Laundromat (Tells the stories of a few of the people involved in the panama papers in different ways, explains in an entertaining way how money laundering works in a way that made it mostly make sense even to me. The rich get richer, and Meryl Streep is here to tell them to fuck off and pay their taxes.)

Russian Doll (She keeps dying and coming back to the same moment over and over and can’t figure out how to stop the cycle or why so kinda sci fi, very suspenseful, big cliff hanger ending, or rather no ending, and just found out season two filming is delayed because virus which is very annoying!!)

Dear White People (Show picking up where the movie left off, after a frat hosts a black face party and the ivy league college is forced to deal with racism.)

Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings (Stories based on Dolly songs. Very Hallmark channel, you will cry.)

Episodes (Show about two British writers making a version of their BBC show for American tv. Kind of meta, very funny, Matt LaBlanc plays himself and it's great.)

Dumplin’ (Fat girl grows up with a beauty pageant winning mom and enters one herself with the help of her late aunt’s Dolly Parton drag queen friends.)

Lunatics (Chris Lilley is the best character actor ever, all his shows are just him playing different parts and you seriously forget it’s all one actor, even when he’s playing teenage girls.)

Jane the Virgin (Prime time soap opera about a girl who is engaged and waiting until marrige and is accidentally inseminated with the only sperm sample of a man who’s had cancer so decides to keep the baby, very heavy on the soap opera cliches in a meta way but also that’s what it is. So good at first but after the first three or so seasons it gets too much tbh though.)

Zumbo’s Just Desserts (Australian Bake show but with just sweet stuff and pressure to be avant garde.)

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (Jerry Sienfeld goes out with funny people to coffee and lunch in fancy cars and they have funny conversations.)

One Day at a Time (Very very cheesy laugh track sitcom, like the kind of thing my grandma would watch, but it makes me so happy it’s doing a great job eplaining really woke concepts like queer pronouns and ptsd and addiction and white privilege to people like my grandma!)

Orange is the New Black (Good stories about very diverse characters, I’d say by starting it off about a upper middle class white girl it tricks privileged white people into watching and then encountering the more realistic stories of women who go to prison and how the system treats prisoners. Ending of season two is super solid and you can stop it there, season three is a really great critique of the privatization of prisons. I admit it goes on and on to the point that it’s stressful and after watching it spread out over years I can’t remember/ keep up with all the different story lines, though they’re all good stories to tell.)

Space Jam (Just saw while scrolling for more ideas this was added! One of the greatest sports movies of all time obviously.)

Bonus amazon prime shows, I try to avoid Amazon in general but these are just too good if you know a prime member who you can't convince not to give their money to amazon so they might as well give you their login (like yer dad).

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (A 1950s New York upper class Jewish house wife gets dumped and starts doing stand up, so funny, great actors, and they seriously transform NY back into another era.)

Good Omens (Mini series based off Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s satirical novel about the biblical apocalypse, very funny, very smart, very British, does the book pretty solid justice.)

There are other decent things that aren’t included, I’d say these are solid recs for a general list of genres all over the map without letting it get to a ridiculously unhelpful length. I feel like I’d be good at the “if you like this then you’ll also like…” so let me know if some of these are your favorites too and want personal recs for what to watch next based on a brain instead of an algorithm.

If you want to have a remote date and watch things together on video chat or one of those watch party sites or just tell me what to watch next here’s some stuff on my list I’ve been curious about or not sure about or don’t want to watch alone or have been putting off, and now’s the time right?: Strangers Things, I Am Not Okay With This, Black Panther, The Betty White doc, John Mulaney Snack Lunch Bunch, Dead to Me, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, A Wrinkle in Time, The Little Prince, Maniac, Wet Hot American Summer reboots, and a bunch of different standup specials from comedians I like.

[i-got-personality]

all of the emoji asks! (that u feel comfortable answering) :)

avnai☝ - How tall are you? 5'2✔ - Sexual Orientation Biromantic ace!🚬 - Do you Smoke?No, and I don't intend to.🍷 - Do you Drink?Again, no. Not my thing.♒ - Do you Take Drugs?Still nope.😳 - Age you get mistaken for?It varies wildly, people usually think I'm about 13 but I've had people think I was 11 and 18 before too (I'm in the 14-17 range so all of these are Wrong™)💉 - Have Tattoos?No.✏️ - Want any tattoos?No, I don't think I could deal with having needles stuck into me that many times.✂️ - Got any Piercings?Yeah, just my ears.✌ - Want any piercings?Not really, I like the ones I have but that's all I really want.👌 - Best friend?She isn't on Tumblr sadly. :(♥ - Do you like anyone?Not in that way, at the moment.🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?Newsies OBCThey Might Be GiantsTuck Everlasting OBCThe Boston PopsLed Zeppelin🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?I can't choose just 5!😒 - Biggest pet peeve?Whistling. Also, slurping sounds. They make me want to cry.📝 - Story from your childhood.When I was like 7 I taught myself to play the piano upside down just so I would be cool at parties when I was older. And hey, it worked! Ish.💬 - I wish…I wish people, in general, were more accepting of people they don't agree with and were kinder to each other.‼️ - Something you’ll change?I'm not sure exactly. There are a lot of changes I'd love to make in the world, but nothing I could do completely by myself. I do want to dye my hair blue someday though.💦 - What makes you horny?Nothing. As previously stated, I'm ace.🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for?I can't say, then it won't come true! I'm not usually a superstitious person, but I make an exception for wishes. Can't take any chances with those.🔥 - Something spicy you like?I like a lot of spicy things! My grandma makes amazing homemade salsa and it's super spicy and really good.👃 You hate the smell of ….Seafood, mostly because I'm slightly allergic.👊 - Something you hate?Injustice in general.🚶 - Are you single?Yep!💬 - Can we text?Depends on who you are?���� - Fan mail me?You're anonymous, but hey, you seem pretty cool!💍 - Marry me?No thank you.💘 - Be my tumblr crush?If you insist.💭 - Favorite foods?Chocolate chip cookies and mac and cheese (separately, of course)☀ - Story about your day.My day was pretty uneventful. I volunteered at the library for a couple hours, which was nice apart from the multiple middle school aged boys who seem to think that playing Fortnite makes them badass, who kept on disrupting everything and eventually a librarian had to call out.💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?I can't think of five at the moment, most of my crushes are on fictional characters right now.🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?Newsies (BOTH VERSIONS)Any Harry Potter movieAny Lord of the Rings movieThe Princess BrideKiki's Delivery ServiceI know this makes six and seven, but I have to add Ferris Bueller's Day Off and How To Train Your Dragon. I just have to.📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?Avatar: The Last AirbenderThe OfficeDoctor WhoThe Great British Bake-OffStar Trek: The Original Series✏ - Random fact about yourself.I know how to pick locks. It's a long story.✈️ - Where are you from?America.🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?Anywhere!😍 - Do you have a crush?Not really at the moment.😷 - Something you hate eating?Seafood or peppermint, mainly because I'm allergic to them. I also have a special loathing for the taste of milk.🙈 - What makes you shy?Uhh everything💃 - Can you dance?Nope.💏 - Do you love anyone?Romantically? No. Platonically? Freakin' everyone.👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?Converse.🌴 - A island you would visit?Great Britain.🌎 - A country you would visit?Japan.🌀 - Favorite type of weather?Sunny with a cold breeze!🔮 - Do you believe in luck?Not really. I don't particularly not believe in it either though.📱 - What kinda phone do you have?iPhone SE, I think?📅 - Favorite time of the year?Spring!📚 - Career goal you want?I'd like to be a librarian or veterinarian!🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?...Wasn't this a question before?🍭 - Favorite Candy?Hershey's Cookies and Cream bars.🍇 - Favorite fruits?Strawberries and peaches!🚘 - Dream car(s)?An old Volkswagen Beetle. Light blue, preferably.🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?Not yet.🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?No, but there have been times I probably should have.🎫 - Do you have a license?Not yet.🚼 - Do you have or want kids?I don't really know if I want kids yet, if I ever do I'd want to adopt.🔞 - Are you under 18?Yes.🐶 - Do you own a pet?I have two, a dog and a cat!😔 - Something that makes you sad?Current American politics.😡 - What pisses you off?Also current American politics.😏 - What turns you on?Nothing.😈 - Are you a freak?Nope.💪 - Do you work out?NahHoly cow, those took a while!

[malta-vpn]

The best Christmas movies and TV shows to watch on Netflix

With much of us cooped up in our residences as well as divided from our friends and family, it can be a very grim time. Fortunate for us, there s lots of holiday magic to be located this Christmas. Netflix launched a ton of wonderful Xmas original movies as well as collection. So if you sanctuary t yet saw the lengthy awaited final thought to the Christmas Prince trilogy, A Royal Infant, here's your chance    Kristin Davis plays a mommy who plans a charming trip to Africa with her husband after their son heads away to college. Unfortunately for her, her husband selects a divorce rather. Certainly Davis determines to go to Africa anyway, probably to Eat Pray Love her impending separation blues away. And also considered that it s a holiday film, the chances seem astronomically high that she s misting likely to fall for Rob Lowe, that plays her pilot on her leg to Zambia. Additionally, Netflix guarantees us there are child elephants. netflix americana Captivate your brain with the coolest information from streaming to superheroes, memes to computer games. Snowstorm on Xmas Eve? Check. Secondary school seniors? Examine. An essential party to go to as well as a swiped keg? Inspect. If this isn t Xmas Superbad fulfills every John Hughes film ever, I ll be extremely let down. Kiernan Shipka will ideally be playing some sort of blonde Molly Ringwald. This animated initial originates from Despicable Me co-creator Sergio Pablos and also includes a fantastic actors of voice actors consisting of Jason Schwartzman, Rashida Jones as well as J.K. Simmons. It s additionally regarding a postal staff member, however I m going to provide it the benefit of the doubt that it s full with Xmas magic. Vanessa Hudgens ends up being pals with a medieval knight that winds up in present-day Ohio. I m presuming this is going to be a Christmas-version of Kate & Leopold, which I m entirely OK with. Plus, Emmanuelle Chriqui co-stars and also the tween lady in me is very thrilled to see if she s still as beautiful as she remained in Snow Day. A radio DJ widower and also daddy of 4 loses his task right prior to Xmas, due to the fact that obviously they live in a world loaded with uncaring beast human beings. Chances are high this is misting likely to be the biggest tearjerker on the checklist. If you haven t seen A Christmas Royal prince or the sequel A Xmas Prince: The Royal Wedding celebration, quit what you're doing and also instantly go watch them. The movies concentrate on Amber, a reporter that openly lies to the international leaders of the imaginary country Adevia which I m pretty sure would be illegal? Yet Netflix doesn’t appear too worried about exactly how laws work in Adevia and also winds up weeding their royal prince. In the second flick, they obtain wed. This time around they're having a baby. Sorry for the looters. Vanessa Hudgens stars as not one yet two characters-- and also of course, among them is a princess. Taking ideas from Mark Twain s The Royal prince and the Destitute, The Princess Change sees skilled baker Stacy replace Girl Margaret Delacour, Duchess of Montenaro, that s hopeless for break of the limelight. But things obtain made complex along with pleasant, lovely as well as all that great stuff, when she discovers a regular life may be a long-term dream. If you like it, take a look at The Princess Change: Switched Again. The politest, loveliest and also most delightfully British show in the affordable cooking scene is true blessing us with one more holiday. It s difficult to state what I'm most excited about, but it ll probably be co-host Noel Fielding s outstanding outfits. The rainbow sweatshirt in the coupon image is everything. Cant wait till Nov. for your British Baking solution? Don t sweat. The present season is still streaming new episodes every Friday. What a gorgeous calamity of a show. I cannot wait for Nicole Byer s Christmas themed jokes and all the horrible looking Santas in store for us. Plus, this period has a multitude of hilarious celebrity judges, from Maya Rudolph to Jason Matsoukis. Dennis Quaid is playing a character called Don Quinn. I'm not also going to inform you what the story s about. I just want you to invest the rest of your day questioning if he was used the role due to the fact that it s so similar to his own name, if Quaid had Netflix change the character s name to another comparable to his, or if it's a complete coincidence. When I finally get a possibility to see Merry Happy Whatever, I expect to invest the whole duration of the film disputing this very important inquiry. Netflix additionally declares the personality highly thinks there's the Quinn way ... and the upside-down. What does it all imply? Please feel free to tweet me your conspiracy theory concepts now. A Christmas-themed period of Sugar Thrill? Yes please! Netflix has made certain we ll have lots of food preparation reveals to enjoy this holiday, and I'm right here for it. This season includes a number of guest courts, consisting of Tiffani Thiessen and also Olympic gold medallist Meryl Davis.

[28allthelove28]

Essay on Fandom and Obsession (One Direction & Fionn Whitehead mainly)

I think it is vital to not make people feel guilty for the things that they enjoy. It is also important to realise that everyone gets obsessed with stuff, and it’s not a bad thing.

Fandom can often be seen as being predominantly young girls screaming and crying over young boys, and apparently that is not cool. At least a lot of people seem to think it is not cool, but that attitude is wrong. Yes, teenage girls have been freaking out over young men since before Beatlemania, but intense fandom and excessive love for your idol is by no means exclusive to young girls. Think of Morrissey. Grown men devote their lives to worshiping him. I’ve witnessed hard, tough, old men in tears, covered in Smiths tattoos, shouting every lyric out at a Morrissey gig, and no one batted an eye. It’s great! David Bowie inspired generations of working class lads to dye their hair bright orange and go out wearing glittery make up. Loads of men really idolise Oasis. Everybody loves Radiohead. I’m one of the proud and devoted thousands who flock in their Goth uniform to see The Cure perform every couple of years, and hopefully I always will be. The best moment of my life was my last Cure gig, and I’m very happy about that. Of course, fan girls don’t just like male musicians, a lot of girls like Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Little Mix, so do a lot of boys. Lads also like Justin Bieber as well as girls. Maybe it is naïve, unnecessary and problematic to even consider fandom in terms of gender, especially in terms of only two genders.

To mention fan fiction, I bought a book from Rough Trade Records which was part of a series of works inspired by different musicians. It was a short story which the author imagined after listening to the album Dry by PJ Harvey. It may not be classed as conventional fan fiction per say, due to Polly Harvey not being directly featured in the story, but each chapter began with the first lyric of Polly’s song, in order of the album tracklist. Something creative and imaginative was born from an enjoyment of music, it was wonderful. And fandom is obviously not just music orientated, thousands of people are obsessed and devoted to football. I couldn’t even count the amount of Newcastle United Football Club tattoos I’ve seen. Game Of Thrones, Star Wars and Harry Potter have enormous fan bases too. The Great British Bake Off is huge, so are specific YouTubers, make-up brands, celebrities like the Kardashians, fashion brands, games, and phone apps. There are so many areas of fandom and obsession, when you begin to think about it. I may have glossed over and simplified some things but these serve as only a few brief examples, out of many, of how diverse and wonderful fandom can be.

Being a fan is clearly by absolutely no means just young females liking young male singers, and it probably is problematic to think so. Perhaps why it can initially seem that way, to me anyway, may be because a girl obsessing over a boy has been my personal experience, and in contemporary culture today, the media really does like to mock girls like me. To focus on One Direction in particular, because that is my biggest obsession, and is most relevant to this discussion, many journalists enjoy frequently claiming that all One Direction fans are hysterical, naive 12 year old girls, who want to sleep with the band, and only like them because they’re pretty. When in fact, not only is that disrespectful to any 12 year old 1D fans, but many fans have grown up with One Direction and are around the same age as them, if not much older. Many One Direction fans don’t fancy the band whatsoever, many 1D fans are boys, many fans are gender fluid, and all the fans that I’ve interacted with genuinely love 1D’s music and respect the band members. Yes, there are some people who sexualise, worship, and disrespect One Direction, but tabloid journalists can often only focus on that side of things.

I think it is important to highlight more so, that a vast portion of the One Direction fandom are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and through 1D and their fans, feel loved, supported, understood, welcomed, included and inspired to be strong and proud. A lot of One Direction concerts are full of rainbow flags, which then get shown on the big screen, signed by Louis, and worn by Harry. Harry has ‘liked’ Instagram posts encouraging people to “Support feminine boys” and Louis has even corrected Harry when he accidentally misgendered a fan. A vast portion of the 1D fandom, myself included, genuinely believe that Harry and Louis are in love, and have been in a secret relationship for years, and we completely support them. (I have a separate essay on this.) I talked about this recently with a lecturer in queer art history, who also believes in Larry, and is in awe at the level of visual analysis ‘Larries’ have undertaken to examine Harry and Louis’ complimentary couple tattoos.

Harry has inspired young boys to wear nail polish because, until seeing him do it, they “Didn’t know boys were allowed.” Again, I don’t want to skim over important issues, but I am quickly mentioning the importance of One Direction’s queer community, and Harry challenging gender norms, to disprove the media idea that all 1D fans are just there to sexualise the band. Yes, I and many others do find One Direction very beautiful and sexy, but I don’t want to be their girlfriend or their lover, at most I just want to be their best friend. I want to continue enjoying their music and supporting them as individuals. And so do the majority of fans that I interact with.

The way in which mainstream media represents One Direction fans can make them expect everyone to mock them. However Mark Radcliffe, a radio presenter on 6Music, an alternative station you would never expect to mention One Direction, recently spoke very kindly of Harry Styles and his fans. He saw people queuing to meet Harry, and explained on his show that they were very excited, and “Why wouldn’t they be?” Mark discussed that Harry was doing solo work and even made a feature out of fandom, asking listeners to text in their own experiences of queueing for their idols. Mark kept chatting to Harry’s fans, checking they were ok and he even brought them breakfast. The entire time Mark mentioned Harry and the fans, he spoke sweetly and respectfully and completely normally. This shouldn’t have been refreshing to hear, but it really was. I tweeted to thank Mark for his kindness, to which he ‘liked’ and replied. I simply found this a lovely and heart-warming example of respectable music news outlets treating young pop fans nicely.

Harry Styles himself was even asked about his fan-base being mainly composed of young girls, as if he were supposed to feel embarrassed about that, and he brilliantly commented “Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say. Music is something that’s changing… Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future – our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going. Teenage-girl fans – they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool’. They like you, and they tell you.” I really don’t think there is a better way to say it. One Direction fans defend them against the media, but they also correct them if they make mistakes. We are honest.

Louis Tomlinson has also talked about how impressive and “Remarkable” his own fans devotion is, and how endlessly grateful he is for it. Louis has discussed how he’s built up a special relationship with his fans and often credits his success as being a constant “Teamwork” between him and the fans working together, even saying that they deserve managerial, promotion jobs. Niall Horan from One Direction constantly looks out for the safety of his fans as they queue to see him perform, and he even regularly shares photos of letters which he’s handwritten for fans, personally updating them on what he’s been up to. Liam Payne from 1D always remembers to acknowledge special band anniversaries that the fans get involved with, and Zayn Malik frequently shares examples of fan art that his fans have drawn of him. The members of the band which people idolise, equally love and appreciate their fans in return and form a family-like unit together, and it’s lovely.

People have picked up on this and even said that society should be built in a similar way as a fandom; supportive, passionate and communal. A lovely article was written by Aarabelle Sicardi, in which she describes fashion designer Rei Kawakubo as her own Harry Styles. She rightly notes that “Loving people makes you brave.” And that “Fandom is a pure version of this. It’s an ideal receptacle of feelings because you ask for nothing personal in return… fandom gave me bravery and friendship.” She admits that you can often find yourself needing to “Defend” your fandom love, and that people may dismiss the thing you love but the thing you love will never dismiss you. She discusses similar points which I have made that “Fandom lives in every industry if you know where to look…teen girls are always attacked for their fandom regardless: music fandom to outsiders looks uncool, unhinged or wasteful. You might see teen girls crying and holding signs or collecting memorabilia and think it’s too much for something so trivial. But it’s not.” Sicardi quotes Harry’s fans as they describe how he was a gateway to finding their queer community and affirming their own identity, saying that “His existence in the world made them more comfortable with their own…Teen girls are criticized for loving the wrong things and loving them in weird and unproductive ways. But the criticisms couldn’t be more off base. They love things with a brilliance and curiosity that makes them better for it…Teen girls push themselves to learn how to code so they can build beautiful fan-pages and online communities… It helps them build worlds out of their imaginings.” Through writing about One Direction, myself and many other fans have also learnt more about putting forward an argument, gathering information, formatting essays and questioning things. Sicardi ends her article by saying that loving things makes fans smarter and braver, and I agree.

These are all beautiful, empowering things, but for me, being so engaged in a fandom can also mean that I do live inside my head quite a lot, but it’s mostly very nice in there, and I think everyone does that. Everyone imagines things. Everyone enjoys the things they enjoy. Admittedly I probably think that obsessing over famous boys is worse than it actually is. In reality I’ve now learnt that it’s not that bad at all. Yes, loving One Direction, Larry Stylinson and Fionn Whitehead can cause some problems – what if no man in real life can live up to them? What if Larry or ‘Larries’ have set unrealistic expectations of relationships? What if I’m more invested in their wellbeing than my own, and those around me? What if I spend so much time on them that I am ignorant to real world problems? What if their rich and privileged lifestyles have made me greedy and selfish? What if their success being born from luck on a talent show has made me lazy and less ambitious? What if their enormous success at the same age as me has made me value my own progress less? What if their physical beauty and that of the people around them has made me doubt and criticise my own? However, perhaps me thinking that loving a boy band or an actor is damaging and could cause all these issues, is the actual problem. Perhaps the obsession itself is not the problem, but my attitude towards it, an attitude influenced by media shame. Maybe me thinking it’s a problem is the only problem.

In reality, it is fun, and educational, and cultural to discover an actor or a singer. To appreciate a person’s talent and hard work, to notice their good qualities, to learn things from them and from their art, to unashamedly be passionate about something, to meet new people through that shared interest and then learn more things from them. All of that is a positive, and rewarding, and beautiful thing. I just have to keep thinking that until I no longer need to remind myself.

Perhaps this whole essay is my way of justifying to myself that it is ok for me to be obsessed with Fionn Whitehead and One Direction. Of course it is. Life is too short and dramatic to worry about things that you don’t really need to worry about. Life is too short and dramatic to deny yourself what you enjoy. Life is too short and dramatic to be over influenced by other people and their opinions. Life is too short and dramatic to not be proud of who you are and what makes you happy.

[smilinstar]

Fic: While you were away (Legends of Tomorrow; Rip/Sara)

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Rating: PG

Pairing: Rip Hunter/Sara Lance (Time Canary)

Summary: “But seriously, Rip,” Sara starts up not two minutes later, and it doesn’t surprise him at all, “Just what did you get up to by yourself?” (Or Rip Hunter: Amateur Baker Extraordinaire)

Author’s Note: This isn’t really speculation fic for the finale, but more a scene that I want to happen, but know probably won’t happen, and so I just wrote it because this show and this ship and this team is currently ruining my life. There you go. Also, this starts off kinda angsty and turns super fluffy. Sorry.

Can also be read here on AO3 

-----

  “A whole year, stuck on board the Waverider as a miniature sized version of you, how’d that feel?”

He can tell she’s struggling to hold it in. The laughter. There’s the twist of her lips as she tries oh so very hard not to smile, likely imagining what he must have looked like. But it’s not working, her twinkling eyes give her away.

“The being stuck on the Waverider? Or being shrunk down to the size of a Borrower?”

Sara looks back at him confused.

He waves it away, “It’s an old British children’s television series, then film, circa 1990’s, never mind. Anyway. If the second, I was blissfully unware. If the first, torture.”

The smile vanishes instantly. A flicker of guilt crosses her face.

She joins him sitting there on the steps to his office, leaning back against the frame as he sits across from her.

He’s not sure what he’s doing here by himself. The rest of the team have disappeared, most likely to wash away the grime of their epic battle and collapse in a heap of exhaustion before the full reality of what they’ve managed to do hits them. But him? He guesses it’s a case of old habits die hard.

“I’m sorry,” she’s quick to apologise, “I didn’t think.”

“No, it’s quite alright,” he shrugs, “Don’t mind me, wallowing away. Seems Time and I don’t have an affinity for one another. You’d think I’d have learnt at least that by now.”

As always Sara seems to read his mind. He doesn’t know when he became so damn transparent.

“I guess it doesn’t help much that resetting reality didn’t erase our memories. Why is that again? Actually, you know what? Never mind. I never got the explanation the first time around.”

He looks up to find Sara staring at the bridge, eyes flickering from the central console to the captain’s chair to the window, not settling on anything in particular. His eyes though seem to be fascinated by the dusting of freckles on her cheek. He has every intention to look away but just can’t bring himself to do so.

A year. A whole year of thinking they were dead. That she was dead.

She turns back to face him, eyes colliding with his and he can do nothing to hide the fact he’s been staring.

She makes nothing of it, holds his gaze and waits.

He clears his throat and looks away, “I suppose it can’t be easy for you either, knowing you were playing loyal henchman to Laurel’s killer all that time.”

Her eyes close, face turning away, and his apology is just as immediate as hers, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she breathes out, “You’re right. But then I remember his face when we won, when I got to stick that dagger in his chest and watch the lights turn out, and it’s not so bad.”

“Hmm, I imagine that must have been quite satisfying.”

And he should know.

“You would know.”

His head jerks up and he finds her lips have curved into a smile.

He shakes his head, “We make quite a pair, Miss Lance.”

She raises her brow and he hastens to clarify, “Of Captains.”

“Of course,” she smirks.

A comfortable silence descends amongst them then and a sense of peace seems to settle inside and it’s entirely unfamiliar but no less welcome.

“But seriously, Rip,” Sara starts up not two minutes later, and it doesn’t surprise him at all, “Just what did you get up to by yourself?”

Apart from the first few months of endlessly trying to send out a distress call, blocking out thoughts of them all being dead and it all being for naught, of walking around the Waverider in a haze of lack of sleep and food and reacquainting himself with his own shadow (he’d forgotten what his ship had looked like without the Legends on board), he can’t think of anything fun to reveal. She’s clearly angling for something light-hearted, and he can’t think of a thing, nothing worth sharing anyway-

“Oh bollocks,” he says suddenly, shooting upright and Sara looks equal part confused and amused. “Gideon?”

“Yes Captain?”

“Did you manage to clear away-”

“Your mess in the Waverider kitchen?” Gideon asks, and he can hear the sass, “I provide technical and logistical support, and when the occasion calls for it, clinical care. Domestic upkeep is not a part of my programming.”

“Of course it isn’t,” he mutters, before practically making a run for it, his coat flapping behind him.

Sara naturally follows, and he should have expected no less. He stops, spins around to tell her not to worry, he’ll deal with it, because he really doesn’t want her or any of them to get a glimpse at just how well he really coped without them, but of course, Time and their lack of accord, means he’s just moments too late.

It appears he underestimated his teams’ need for full stomachs over creature comforts.

“WOAH!”

“What the hell happened in here?”

Ray and Jax’s voices make their way to him and he turns the corner to find them standing there at the entrance to the kitchen, gaping aghast, as if an atomic bomb had gone off in there.

So maybe not so much an atomic bomb, but more like a flour bomb.

He rushes forward, pushing past them into the room, desperate to hide the evidence but he doesn’t know where to start.

Mick strolls in, bends at the waist to pick up an empty bottle of rum and shakes it from side side, “English, you been having a party without us?”

“I think I’m offended,” Martin remarks, taking in the carnage.

“Are those . . . cakes?” Sara asks, incredulous.

Ah yes. The cakes.

“I may have asked Gideon to pull up old archives of The Great British Bake Off and fancied I could do a better job than most of the contestants. And I also may have got a little too competitive and carried away . . .” he trails off sheepishly.

“So that’s what you did all this time?”

“No,” he’s quick to defend, “Not all this time.”

“Captain Hunter also spent a significant proportion of his time inebriated and unconscious,” Gideon chirps up helpfully.

“Yes. Thank you Gideon.”

He can feel Sara’s concerned eyes on him, which he pointedly ignores.

“Look, anyway. Just give me half an hour, and I’ll have this mess cleared up.”

“You made these?” Ray asks, stopping in front of one particular cake, topped with a model of the Millennium Falcon made entirely of fondant icing. He looks up at him with pure unadulterated joy, points at the cake and then back at himself, “Is this for me?”

“Uh,” is the only sound he manages to make, as his hand creeps up to clutch at the back of his neck.

Jax points at a cake adorned with various models of vintage cars and grins, “This is mine, right?”

“Um . . .”

“Where’s mine?” Mick asks, spilling the last drop of rum from one not-quite-empty-yet bottle he’s swiped off the floor.

Rip gives up all pretences, “I think you’ll have to forgive me, Mr Rory, but I didn’t bake you one for reasons I’m sure you can appreciate.”

Mick takes no offence, instead grabs at one of the half-demolished cakes and stuffs it in his mouth.

The rest of the team wait with bated breath.

Mick swallows, and stares back at him for a long moment and it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking. He answers the teams’ unspoken question by reaching down for seconds, and shrugging, “Not bad.”

After that it’s an excited commotion of noise as the team hurries around him searching for cutlery and plates and stopping to take in the aftermath of his cake explosion.

The embarrassment of having the physical manifestations of just how much he missed them all on display fades, only to be taken over by something else. Something warm and gooey, settling in the pit of his stomach; something he hasn’t felt in a long time as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Birds,” Sara says beside him then, and he doesn’t even realise where he’d stopped.

Down on the table in front of him, is one of his relatively simpler creations. A white single-tiered circular cake, decorated in tiny, intricately detailed and vividly colourful birds.

“You know, I would have expected you to go with red velvet and a dagger on the top.”

He huffs out a breath of laughter.

“This how you see me, Rip?” she asks, looking up at him.

He doesn’t answer her.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Yes. Well.” His cheeks stain with a blush.

Sara is thankfully merciful as she steps around him and points to another, “Now this must be yours!”

It’s a wibbly wobbly time mess of a cake. He’d thought it apt.

“Hey, Jax,” she calls out suddenly, “Pass me the candles.”

He knows he looks confused, “Sara, what are you doing?”

She ignores him, “Mick, lighter.”

He throws it across the room, and she catches it easily.

Jax hands her the candles, and she only needs the one as she sticks it into the top of his cake and lights it.

She looks up at him, “Make a wish, Captain.”

“It’s not my birthday.”

“No, but we need to celebrate. We reset reality. Amaya’s alive. Darhk and the Legion are dead and gone, but more importantly, we’re back together again. And we have cake. So I can’t think of a better excuse.”

“Why me?”

“Because,” she shrugs, which isn’t really an answer at all.

No, the answer is in her smile and the flicker of the flame reflecting in her eyes.

And so he does it.

Holds her gaze, makes a wish and three, two, one . . .

 End.

[y0ung-and-l0aded]

1-100 ;)

1. What is you middle name? Ew. Jiandong. It’s Chinese and I don’t even know how to pronounce it tbh2. How old are you? 223. When is your birthday? March 14, 19954. What is your zodiac sign? Pisces5. What is your favorite color? Green6. What’s your lucky number? 147. Do you have any pets? Ye. I have a cat of my own, her name is Stella, and my family has two dogs - Rosie and Tilly. Tilly is my everything8. Where are you from? China, but I grew up in upstate New York9. How tall are you? 4′11″ RIP me10. What shoe size are you? 4 kids11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 812. What was your last dream about? Honestly I had a nightmare and all I remember about it was that it involved the Great British Baking Show, specifically Nadiya from season 613. What talents do you have? I can play the piano, but idk if it’s much of a talent14. Are you psychic in any way? Lol no15. Favorite song? I HAVE MORE THAN ONE. All time favorite - “We Are Young” Glee cast version. Close second all time favorite - “Decoration Day” by the Drive-By Truckers. And then a one of my other favorites is “High Hopes” by Kodaline16. Favorite movie? The Shining and also I recently watched Train to Busan and that’s deff one of my faves17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone I’m in love with, can see myself spending the rest of my life with, trust, have fun with. All that good stuff18. Do you want children? Yesss19. Do you want a church wedding? Yes and no, but honestly I’m pretty indifferent about it20. Are you religious? Lol nah21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. I was inpatient three times, had to go for a day another time, and had an overnight and those were for mental health issues. When I was younger I went a few times bc I had a tic disorder and had to get these weird brain tests done. I also have scoliosis so have been a few times for that. And then when I started testosterone I went every week to get my shot until I learned how to do it myself lol. And recently I went for a consultation for top surgery!22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Kind of. It was a complicated situation23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes24. Baths or showers? Showers25. What color socks are you wearing? Black. One with a grey stripe and one with a red stripe26. Have you ever been famous? LOL NO27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Not a big one. I’d like to get a bit more popular on YouTube, but my ultimate goal is 1000 subs, so just a mediocre celebrity lol28. What type of music do you like? EDM/electronic instrumental and tropical house29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? I was in a lake when my friends skinny dipped, but I didn’t myself30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 0-2, depending on the night31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my right side32. How big is your house? I don’t even have a house lol, I have a studio apartment and it’s v small33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I usually don’t have breakfast34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah it was really cool tbh35. Have you ever tried archery? Yep. I sucked haha36. Favorite clean word? Porkchop37. Favorite swear word? I don’t have a favorite, but I say shit and fuck the most 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 44 hours, that was actually a couple weeks ago39. Do you have any scars? Yes40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Who knows, that’s why they’re called secret admirers 41. Are you a good liar? I guess I can be idrk42. Are you a good judge of character? I’d like to think so43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Yes, I can do a British accent but I have never done it for someone44. Do you have a strong accent? Not to me and compared to the people around me, but I’m sure I do to someone else in the world45. What is your favorite accent? BRITISH 46. What is your personality type? ISFJ-T47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? LOL I have no idea, I probably paid $30 dollars for a sweatshirt at some point in my life48. Can you curl your tongue? Nope49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie50. Left or right handed? Right51. Are you scared of spiders? FUCK YES52. Favorite food? Mashed potatoes but I have recently been obsessed with frozen key lime pie. And I really like pork fried dumplings53. Favorite foreign food? Chinese hands down54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both but overall more clean than messy55. Most used phrased? I say what the frick a lot usually when I play video games56. Most used word? Recently it’s been dude57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Ready for what? In the morning like getting ready for work not long, maybe ten minutes58. Do you have much of an ego? Not at all59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck then bite60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes61. Do you sing to yourself? I sing in the car to music I turn all the way up62. Are you a good singer? I can match pitch but I wouldn’t say I’m good63. Biggest fear? Being burnt alive64. Are you a gossip? Not really65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Train to Busan (I think that can be classified as drama)66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair on me. I’ve found I’m attracted to girls with long hair and guys with short hair67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If I thought about it and wrote them out, probably68. Favorite school subject? Music and if you don’t count that then Englsih69. Extrovert or introvert? Introvert 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No71. What makes you nervous? Social situations72. Are you scared of the dark? Not really73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Not really. It’s a downfall74. Are you ticklish? No75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Not authority per se, but I’ve been in a position of leadership a couple times77. Have you ever drank underage? Yeah lol78. Have you ever done drugs? I smoke weed if you count that and I accidentally did molly one time79. Who was your first real crush? This girl Megan I went to elementary school with. When we were in eighth grade I realized that I was totally in love with her (if that’s what it even was in eighth grade, but that’s what I thought at the time) and that’s when I realized I was into girls haha80. How many piercings do you have? One81. Can you roll your Rs? Nope82. How fast can you type? Very, very fast83. How fast can you run? I used to be able to run really fast. I was a sprinter in high school for the track team. I could probably still sprint really fast but I’d be near to death after it84. What color is your hair? Black85. What color is your eyes? They is brown86. What are you allergic to? Cats, lanolin (it’s in sheep’s wool and some lotions), nickel and cobalt, and eggs but I still eat them bc it’s pretty minor87. Do you keep a journal? Yes. But I haven’t written in it for at least a year probably88. What do your parents do? My mom is a third grade teacher and my dad does some political science thing or something or other for the NYS government89. Do you like your age? I guess? I wouldn’t mind being a couple years older tbh but 22 isn’t bad90. What makes you angry? When people lie to me91. Do you like your own name? Ye92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I want to name my son Price if I ever have one, and I have’t really thought of girls names93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both 94. What are you strengths? I don’t think of myself having strengths 95. What are your weaknesses? I’m too dependent on people96. How did you get your name? I chose it lol97. Were your ancestors royalty? I don’t know anything about my family history due to being adopted98. Do you have any scars? Yes, but not any new ones since question 3999. Color of your bedspread? Blue100. Color of your room? The walls are like tan/beige

:D

[hollyhark]

What's everybody getting up to for Valentine's Day in the galaxy far, far away? Kylux? Finnrey? Techienician? I want to hear about these great celebrations.

ANON, I’m so glad you sent this, thank you! Yesterday I started this little modern AU Valentine’s Day ficlet and wasn’t sure I’d finish it, and your ask inspired me to finish & post it :33

It’s not the galaxy far, far away version, but it does feature all three of those couples! Happy Valentine’s Dayyyy~~!

I call this: ALWAYS SOMEHOW REHEATING FISH, as it was inspired by the new Girls episode and me laughing at that quote re: meaty near-naked Kylo and his naked partner being awful to their roommate.

~~

Finn smirks as he passes the long line at the flower stand in his building’s lobby. They ran out of red roses around lunchtime and are now selling the dregs to desperate people who didn’t plan as well as he has. He got an email confirmation that the custom bouquet he ordered for Rey arrived at her apartment two hours ago, and her creepy cousin actually responded to his text about placing it in her room. Whether or not Ben actually did so is still uncertain, as it’s hard to predict what he’ll do, regardless of what he says, but Finn has tried to come up with some reason why Ben might want to sabotage Rey’s Valentine’s Day flowers, and he hasn’t landed on anything yet. As obnoxious as Ben can be, he does seem to genuinely care about Rey. Finn would love it if this affection for Rey would translate into Ben maybe attempting to find his own place and letting Rey live her life without her codependent cousin haunting her steps, but he’s not going to hold his breath waiting for that to happen. Not yet, anyway: eventually he’s going to ask Rey to marry him. Maybe next year. At that point, Ben will hopefully take his cue to move out.  

If Rey says yes, that is.

It’s a gray and rainy Tuesday, just a little after six o’clock in the evening. Finn thinks about texting Rey, though she likely won’t have time to look at her phone until her shift ends in five hours. She’s a waitress at Jakku, one of the trendiest restaurants in town, and today will be hell at work for her: the restaurant is fully booked, packed with couples who will expect her to cater to them and their special day while she juggles ten other tables who all demand the same level of doting attention in exchange for Jakku’s insane prices. Rey has been dreading Valentine’s Day all week for this reason, just like she dreaded it last year, when she and Finn were still only friends. Last year all he did was send her supportive messages when she griped about the work day she faced and then about how gruelling it was. He’d offered to bring her some ice cream at midnight, when she finally got home, but she’d said she just wanted to sleep.

This year they’re not just dating but getting pretty serious after seven giddy months. Rey has given him a key to her apartment, where he sleeps more often than not, though he has his own place and it’s pretty nice, definitely quieter. But Ben is not there, and if Ben wasn’t inventing nonstop excuses to need Rey’s “energy” nearby in order to stay sane, he wouldn’t be Ben.

Finn has a modest plan for this year, knowing that Rey will be exhausted when she finally gets home: he’ll surprise her by being there waiting in her room, which feels more and more like their room these days. He’ll have the flowers and a big plate of her favorite cookies, fresh-baked. It’s a recipe they’ve made together before, a kind of nascent tradition. He’s got all the ingredients in his car, except for eggs and milk, and when he was over at the apartment on Sunday there were plenty of both in the fridge. Once Rey gets home they’ll cuddle up together to get crumbs in the bed and watch a movie on her laptop. She’ll probably be too tired for sex, but Finn will offer to rub her back and shoulders, and maybe one thing will lead to another. Whatever happens, he wants to make her feel cozy and appreciated after a long day.

The first thing he notices upon approaching the apartment is that two trash bags are sitting in the hallway by the door. The super has specifically asked them not to do this, and Rey has been stressing about getting fined if Ben keeps ignoring this rule. Finn feels his temperature rising already as he sets down his grocery bag and takes the trash bags to the chute at the end of the hall. It’s really not so difficult, and especially shouldn’t be for someone who is home all day ‘pursuing his art,’ or whatever term Ben is using to describe his freeloading lately. Normally Finn would ask Ben to do it, with a varying degree of firmness that depends on Ben’s mood, but he doesn’t want to get into a thing with him tonight and cause drama that might linger until Rey gets home. Better to just take care of it so Rey doesn’t have to worry about this on a day when she’ll already be drained.

Trash disposed of and grocery bag in hand, he lets himself into the apartment and immediately winces. Despite the removal of the trash, the place stinks of fish and eggs and some other kind of food that he can’t place, something that doesn’t compliment either smell. Finn sighs when he walks in and sees the state of the kitchen: dirty mixing bowls all over the place, flour splattered on the counter and spilled on the floor, what looks like a fish carcass on a plate in the sink. In the middle of the clutter of dirty dishes piled on the kitchen island there’s an empty champagne bottle that stands there like a flag Ben has planted, claiming territory. Great.

Finn surveys the mess, wondering if it wouldn’t just be easier to go home to his place, make the cookies there, then bring them back here to surprise Rey. His apartment is on the other side of town and traffic was bad, some wreck on the highway backing everything in the city up. He puts his bag of ingredients down among the detritus, considering that some poor bastard was in a wreck on Valentine’s Day, and that having to clean up after Ben isn’t the worst thing he might spend this day doing. Just last year he’d been stewing in misery on Valentine’s Day, already in love with Rey and imagining they’d never end up together. Washing dishes in preparation for spending the evening with the woman he loves is no big deal. At least the apartment is quiet. Ben probably went out to get trashed with his friends in some kind of anti-Valentine’s Day protest. He’s weirdly bitter about being single, for someone who seems to have a lot of sex, based on the guys who come and go at all hours and his candid, uninvited commentary on his Grindr adventures.

Finn picks up a pan with what looks like omelet residue in it and curses under his breath. When he checks the fridge, his suspicions are confirmed: Ben has used all the eggs. The milk is gone, too, only the empty carton remaining on the counter, behind a pile of mixing bowls.

“Who even has this many mixing bowls?” Finn mutters, surveying all the ones that need to be washed as he weighs whether he should go down to the bodega for milk and eggs now or just get this mess cleaned up first so he won’t have to come back to the discouraging sight of it.

He rolls up his sleeves and turns on the water, trying to swallow his feelings of resentment. Rey is his dream girl, perfect for him in every way, except for the anchor around her neck that is Ben, and Finn wouldn’t mind so much if he could envision an exit strategy for Ben easing out of her life at least somewhat. As he stands washing Ben’s dishes, nightmarish scenarios where Ben is still living with him and Rey after they’re married with kids begin to enter his mind, and he’s picturing himself washing sixty-year-old Ben’s breakfast dishes when he hears Ben’s bedroom door open down the hall.

So Ben is here after all, just having a rare quiet evening. Good: Ben can help him clean up this mess, or at least run to the bodega for more milk and eggs.

Finn turns from the sink and sees not Ben but a naked man with red hair who seems equally startled to see him, freezing in his tracks just before entering the kitchen.  

“What the fuck!” Finn says, at the same time as the man, who smacks both his pasty hands over his crotch.

“Who are you?” the man asks, scowling. He has a British accent.

“I’m– What do you mean, who am I? I live here! Sort of. Are you with Ben?”

“Who’s Ben?”

Finn feels a chill racing down the back of his neck. There’s a nude lunatic in Rey’s apartment, and apparently Ben didn’t let him in.

“Hux!”

But that’s Ben, and he’s racing out toward the naked man as if he does know him. Ben is at least wearing underwear, though they’re tight enough to leave little to the imagination. He sort of stumbles to a halt, bracing himself on Hux’s shoulders. Hux allows himself to be jostled, hands still over his crotch.

“Who is this man?” Hux asks, turning his scowl on Ben. “I thought you lived with your cousin.”

“I do– This is her boyfriend. What the hell are you doing?” Ben asks, as if he’s so unfamiliar with the practice of washing dishes that he doesn’t recognize it when he sees it.

“I’m surprising Rey for Valentine’s Day,” Finn says. “Trying to, anyway. What did you do in here, cook a twelve course meal?”

“We worked up an appetite,” Ben says, stepping in front of Hux in some kind of belated, gentlemanly gesture. Finn returns his eyes to the dishes, scrubbing with renewed vigor and increasing annoyance.

“Kylo, just get me a fucking glass of water,” Hux says, and he stomps back toward the bedroom. “You people are all too old for roommates,” he calls before slamming Ben’s door.

“Who is that prick?” Finn asks when Ben stands there scratching at his stomach. “And why is he calling you Kyle?”

“Kylo.” Ben goes for the cabinet near the sink, glowering when he sees that there are no clean glasses. “It’s my pen name.”

Finn opens his mouth to ask what Ben is penning these days, then decides he doesn’t want to know. “Help me with this, whatever your name is,” he says. “I’m trying to make something for Rey, for when she gets off work. You guys totally wrecked the place. Who makes fish in the middle of the day?”

“Hux has a refined palate,” Ben says, lowering his voice. He moves over to the next cabinet, grabs a coffee mug and shoulders Finn out of the way to fill it with water. “Fuck,” he says. “He probably only drinks filtered.”

“Who is he? Some guy you picked up?”

“Obviously. He’s incredible. Best sex of my life. We’ve been–”

“I don’t care what you’ve been doing! You used the last of the eggs, man, and all the milk. I need you to go to the store and get more, please.”

“Not likely.” Ben drinks from the mug of water and makes a face. “Does this water always taste so shitty? Hey, if you go to the store, get some bottled water, all right? I’ll owe you one. Fiji, or one of those other fancy kinds. Not Deer Park or Crystal Geyser. Or Dasani.”

“Why don’t you get your own bottled water, and my eggs and milk in the meantime?”

“I’m naked.”

“You could get dressed!”

“Also it’s raining, and this is, like– This is special,” he says, whispering. “I can’t mess this up.”

“What, your hookup with some snob who thinks people in their mid-twenties can’t have roommates? What the hell world does he come from?”

“England. Wealth. Power.”

“Gross.”

“I know,” Ben says, and he smiles dreamily. “He’s all uptight. And then, in the bedroom, he’s like an animal, fuck, he was so ready for it, overdue–”

“Stop!” Finn turns the faucet on Ben, who stands there and lets himself be soaked, unimpressed. “I don’t want to hear about your sex life, just do me a favor and go to the store while I clean up your mess.”

“You don’t have to clean my mess.”

“I do if I want to cook for Rey. I can’t work around this disaster.”

“Sorry man,” Ben says, slapping Finn on the shoulder. “I can’t walk away from what’s going on in my bedroom right now. This is once in a lifetime shit. I have to play my cards right.”

“Hey– No! Fine, I’ll go to the store, but you have to clean up this crap while I’m gone.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” Ben says, darkening. “This isn’t even your place. It’s mine.”

“It’s Rey’s, and since she’s busting her ass working on Valentine’s Day, maybe you could be nice enough not to let her come home to a trashed sex den that she’s paying for and you’re residing in?”

“I contribute. You don’t know about our financial data.”

“I have a vague idea.” Finn smacks off the water and reels himself in while he dries his hands on a dish towel. Pointing out that Ben’s contributions to the rent are minimal compared to Rey’s is not the way to get what he wants right now. “Look,” he says, holding up his hands. “I love Rey, you love Rey. Let’s both do something nice for Rey. I’ll even get bottled water for your guy while I’m at the store, okay? Let him sleep it off for ten minutes while you clean up in here. No big deal, right?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” Ben says. His eyes are narrowed, but the fact that he hasn’t stormed off yet is a good sign. “I’ll clean this shit up. Fine. For Rey. And remember, Fiji water. Or something of Fiji caliber.”

“Great,” Finn says, wanting to punch the snotty look off Ben’s face. Unfortunately, Ben is enormous and most of the money he does bring in comes not from his flighty stabs at art but from cage fighting, something he is disturbingly good at. “I’ll be right back,” Finn says, already dashing for the door.

The rain is still coming down, soaking the mostly empty sidewalk as Finn hurries toward the bodega on the corner, his jacket pulled over his head. He has an umbrella, but it’s in his car, which is parked in the garage of Rey’s building, and fetching it would take longer than dashing to the bodega without it. He can deal with some rain for a block and a half. Or, he normally can: right now it’s making him grit his teeth as it seeps into his shoes and makes his socks damp while he thinks about Ben up there in his underwear, refusing to replace what he’s consumed. Typical. Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, ha. Then don’t act like one, asshole! Finn pushes his low-boiling rage aside and jogs the rest of the way to the store, telling himself that at least Ben is doing dishes now, as he should be.

The usual clerk is behind the counter. His name is Matt and he’s been working here for as long as Finn has been hanging out at Rey’s apartment. He’s a big fan of Ben’s and in awe of Ben’s reputation as a cage fighter, which is apparently noteworthy in certain circles. Matt and Ben train at the same gym; Rey thinks Matt is in love with Ben, but Ben insists that Matt just appreciates his fighting style, which is a combination of eerie grace and beserker mania. Finn nods to Matt as he approaches the counter with his hastily collected milk, eggs and two-liter bottle of Fiji. He gets the usual blank-faced stare from behind Matt’s unfashionable glasses. Matt only ever lights up if Ben comes here with them.

“You okay?” Finn asks when he notices that Matt’s face is very red.

“Yeah.” Matt keeps his eyes on Finn as he drags his purchases mindlessly across the scanner. “Why.”

“Nothing, just. You look kinda feverish or something.”

“My lover got caught in the storm.”

Finn cocks his head. “Sorry?” That sounds like a euphemism.

“My lover. He’s on his way here. Because I’m stuck at fucking work, in this shit hole, on Valentine’s Day. But he’s afraid of thunder. I’m managing my fury by breathing deeply.”

“You–”

The bell on the door jangles violently, and the man who runs inside seems to bring the rain with him, arriving like a kind of human splash. His approach is so swift and panicked that Finn braces himself to confront an attempted robbery. Then he notices that this man is behaving more like he’s fleeing robbers than aiming to act as one, dashing toward Matt and flinging himself behind the counter as if seeking shelter. He’s tall but willowy, his clothes and lank red hair plastered to his body. He throws himself into Matt’s arms, where he is received with a satisfied grunt from Matt, who lifts him nearly off the floor in a crushing hug. So this is the lover Matt was anticipating. Finn averts his eyes when they start making out with audible moaning relief, acting like the red-haired man just came home from war.

“Uh,” Finn says, after this has gone on for longer than he’s willing to abide. “Can I pay?”

Matt goes on mouthing at the other man’s neck. Finn begins to worry that he’s going to throw his boyfriend onto the counter and have him right here, breaking the eggs in the process. This was the last carton on the shelf. The boyfriend at least seems to notice Finn’s irritation, squirming and poking at Matt until he does, too.

“Sorry,” Matt says. His glasses are crooked. “I was just. I was worried about him.”

“I’m fine,” the boyfriend says, in a near whisper. He’s still pressed to Matt’s chest, his skinny shoulders lifting when Finn holds out a twenty.

“Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday,” Matt says. He sounds and looks angry, as if Finn is the one keeping this from being so. “Anyway. This is Techie. Today’s our one-year anniversary.”

“Congratulations,” Finn says. “Can you take my money, please?”

“Are you making a cake?” Techie asks, surveying Finn’s purchases.

“Cookies,” Finn says, tightly.

“For someone special?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“The hell kind of cookies do you make with milk and eggs and overpriced water?” Matt asks.

“These are– There’s other stuff, back at my place.” Finn holds his hand out. Matt gives him a look while surrendering his change. “I know your pain, okay?” Finn says. “My girlfriend won’t finish her shift until midnight.”

“That’s rough, buddy,” Matt says. Finn can’t tell if he’s being sincere or not. “You want a bag?”

Finn does. He stands there, dripping and cold and harnessing all the patience he can as Techie elects to lend a hand, bagging Finn’s three items with weirdly deliberate care and beaming at Matt between each one, as if looking for approval. Matt rubs Techie’s back and stares at him in a way that is itself pretty lewd. They’re making out again before Finn has reached the door.

The rain is relentless, and Finn wants to run for it, but he’s afraid he’ll slip and break the eggs, especially considering he’s still wearing his shoes from work, which are the nicest ones he owns but not known for their great traction on slippery surfaces. He hurries along as fast as he can without risking a fall, glad that he keeps some spare clothes at Rey’s place. That interlude in the bodega took longer than it needed to, but hopefully this means Ben is finished or at least almost finished cleaning the kitchen. Finn can throw on some dry clothes and get started on the cookies. He smiles to himself when he reaches the apartment’s street entrance, thinking of how Rey will be charmed by his story about Matt’s delicate boyfriend. Just the thought of her curling up with delighted laughter as he relates this anecdote in bed gets him up the three flights to her place in a pretty good mood.

He reaches the door and realizes he didn’t think to lock it behind him when he left, too preoccupied with his mission or annoyed with Ben. He tries the handle, not surprised to see that Ben hasn’t bothered locking it since. He considers himself a walking security system, of course. Finn strides inside, reminding himself not to lose his cool if Ben has taken his sweet time with the cleaning.

Only when he sees what’s actually going on inside the apartment does he realize what a naive, best-case-scenario fantasy the idea of Ben taking a long time to clean the kitchen was. Instead, there is some manner of shameless sex going on right there on the living room couch, in full view of the front door, limbs and balls still in fervent motion when Finn whirls away from this scene in an indignant panic, slamming his bag against the doorframe in the process. He can just hear the eggs breaking over the sound of Ben grunting and Hux cursing him for not noticing that they have company.

“Are you deaf?” Hux shouts. “Stop thrusting, the boyfriend is back!”

“Wah? Oh– Fuck, Finn, sorry, hey–”

Finn is torn between wanting to run and wanting to throw his shoe at Ben. It’s not the first time he’s seen Ben’s balls from this vantage point, but usually Rey is beside him to shout oi! and share in his exasperation. And the fucking eggs. He slams the apartment’s door shut and steps out into the hallway to check the carton. The eggs met the doorframe hard, taking the brunt of the impact and then getting crushed with the heavy milk and water bottles. Every one of them is broken.

He’s still standing in the hallway in a kind of defeated, shivering stupor when Ben emerges wearing sweatpants. The waistband on them is worn out, and they hang low enough to be obscene, but Finn can’t work up his usual indignation about Ben’s lack of modesty. Not after what he just saw. Usually when he and Rey walk in on something the lights are off, at least.

“What the fuck, man,” Finn says, lifting his dripping bag. “My eggs.”

“Your eggs?” Ben hikes up the pants and frowns.

“You have a room. With a functioning door. Why, just– Why?”

“Sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to– I started to do those dishes, and he came out to see what was taking me so long, and he’s, he’s insatiable, Finn, it’s fucking amazing. We ended up on the couch–”

“You started to do the dishes. Started. How far did you get?”

“I guess I washed, like, a spoon.”  

“Okay. Right.”

“I wanted to do it, don’t give me that look. It was him, he has no patience! He came out sniffing for more dick like a–”

“Do not finish that metaphor. Please. Just– Get out of my way, all right? I’m going to hide in Rey’s room until she gets home.” So much for making her a treat; Finn gives up. He’ll text her about ordering a pizza, since she might not get a chance to even stuff down a snack during her shift. At least he has the flowers, an arrangement that cost almost two hundred bucks and looked really beautiful in the preview image, unique and luscious. “Here,” Finn says, thrusting the bag at Ben. “Your Fiji. Enjoy the milk, too, what do I care. Is he– Can I walk in there, or is he going to be splayed and waiting for you?”

“You’re good, he ran back into my room.” Ben peers down into the bag. “Oh, shit. Your eggs.”

“Yeah.”

Finn pushes into the apartment, still bracing himself to see Hux’s ass or dick or worse, but it’s true that he’s fled, and Ben’s bedroom door is mercifully closed at the end of the hall. Walking into Rey’s room is an instant relief: lately it smells not just like Rey but like home, moreso even than Finn’s own place and despite all the Ben-related annoyances that come with spending so much time here. He’s digging out his phone to ask Rey her thoughts on ordering pizza when he notices the flowers he ordered for her, sitting on top of her dresser and looking conspicuously diminished.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”

He hurries over to the flowers, trying not to lose it just yet, but there’s no mistaking it: the bouquet he carefully designed on an interactive website, checking for flower meanings in another tab every time he added a new variety, only retains a measly quarter of what he paid for, and what remains is mostly filler in neutral colors. The vibrant peonies and hybrid tea roses are gone. There’s no enormous sunflower, no coral orchids spilling down the sides of the vase. Even the little yellow peanut flowers that he had to special order, to represent their nickname for each other, are missing.

No, not missing: this flower delivery service is top-class, with page after page of flawless customer reviews. He did thorough research.

Stolen. That’s what happened here. Fucking bald-faced thievery.

“You know, I knew you were low!” Finn says when he’s standing outside Ben’s bedroom door, pounding on it with his fist and hesitating to barge inside only to spare himself another eyeful of Ben fucking his random nympho ginger. “But this– Even after all the bullshit you’ve pulled, all the stories Rey has told me, I never thought you’d mess with her fucking Valentine’s Day flowers!”

Ben opens the door and sticks his head out, and if Finn wasn’t ready to kill him he might think Ben actually looks a little remorseful.

Then Ben says: “What stories Rey told you?”

“You’re a monster!” Finn shouts.

“Okay– Okay, I’m sorry, I know, all right.” Ben ducks down to pick something up off the floor and slips out into the hall, leaving the door cracked open as he holds a crumpled black t-shirt over his dick. “Sorry, that was– That was bad, I know, we got kind of drunk earlier, and I thought I could make Hux a flower crown and then just put all the flowers back, you know, I didn’t think they’d get kind of, like, wrecked, by what happened after he was wearing the–”

“Flower crown? Fucking– flower crown, what– What is wrong with you?”

“I thought it was stupid, too!” Hux calls from within the room. “For the record!”

“Fuck you!” Ben shouts, whirling around to poke his head back into his room. “You liked it, I have pictures!”

“I can’t handle this,” Finn says, feeling the words take on a kind of damning weight in his chest, because maybe he means more than this day, this one ruined evening. Rey is worth it, of course she is, but he also feels like he’s going to lose his mind.

Ben opens his mouth to respond, probably to make things worse, but before he can they both hear someone fling the apartment’s door open.

“Rey?” Ben calls, and Finn thinks it can’t be her, she’s going to be at Jakku for at least another four hours, but when they both hurry into the living room they find her at the door, wearing her rain slicker and sniffling, her eyes puffy and red.

“Finn!” she says, with surprise and also with such pure, voice-cracking and instant relief that he feels like he could spend an eternity sharing a cardboard box with three Bens, as long as Rey was there, too.

“Peanut,” Finn says, not caring now if Ben holds hearing this over them at a later time. He rushes across the room as she hurries toward him, and when she crumples into his arms and releases a kind of full-body sob he silently vows to kill whoever hurt her, but only after he holds her like this for as long as she’ll let him. She smells like rain and like the grubby reality of even the finest restaurant kitchen, where things have been frying and butter hangs thick in the air.

“I quit,” she says, holding on tight, her chin on Finn’s shoulder. Only then does he remember that he’s still very damp himself. “I threw my apron in Unkar’s face.”

“Yes!” Ben says. “Finally! Fuck that guy.”

Finn can’t help agree with this, based on all the horror stories Rey has told him about Jakku’s owner-manager, though he understands why she’s upset, too.

“I feel terrible,” she says when Finn pulls back to sweep his thumbs over her cheeks, not sure if he’s brushing away tears or rainwater. “I left– I left in the middle of Valentine’s Day! Poe and Jessika will have to pick up my slack, they’ll hate me–”

“They won’t,” Finn promises, and he kisses her nose. “I’m proud of you, it’s okay, don’t worry. If you walked out, Unkar must have really screwed up.”

“He’s screwed up plenty of times before,” Ben says, before Rey can even begin to describe what put her over the edge. He comes forward and touches Rey’s shoulder, trying to insinuate himself into the hug. “You deserve better,” Ben says. “And now you can be serious about cooking school.”

“With what money?” Rey asks. “Unkar says I’m on the server blacklist now, that no one will hire someone who couldn’t cut it in his kitchen–”

“What bullshit!”

That’s Hux, peering at them from the hallway and wrapped in Ben’s checked flannel bedsheet.

“I work in the industry,” Hux says, straightening his posture with snobbish authority. “I know Unkar, and he’s infamously difficult. I’ve worked with every restaurant developer in this town who means anything, if you need a real recommendation. I designed Starkiller.”

“What’s Starkiller?” Finn asks, wanting him to get lost.

“A really big restaurant.” Rey sniffles again and presses her hair down. It’s wild and damp, pulling out of her bun. “Uh. Who is that?” she asks Ben, pointing to Hux.

“The love of my life,” Ben says.

“Oh, fuck off!” Hux says, but he’s grinning.

“We’ll figure it out,” Finn says, speaking softly and attempting to ignore the other two. “You must be– Are you hungry? Do you want a drink, want me to run out and get ice cream? Anything you want–”

“I just want to get in bed,” Rey says. “With you,” she adds more quietly, and she leans up to kiss Finn on the lips. It’s sweet, chaste, but sends a thrill all the way down to his heels, maybe because of the way she swooned into it. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she says, smiling a little, her lips still pressed to his. “How did you know I’d need you this much?”

“I don’t know, just. It’s Valentine’s Day. I just wanted you to know how much I–”

“Look, if you really need the money,” Ben says, interrupting this moment, because of course he is, “I could ask my mother to, uh. To help us with the rent for a while.”

“You haven’t spoken to Leia in years!” Rey says, peering at Ben from over Finn’s shoulder.

“Right, but I could. To help you realize your dreams. Because you’ve helped me realize mine.”

Ben turns to look at Hux, who makes a face like Ben has just thrown a live octopus at him.

“We’ll be in my room,” Rey says, grabbing Finn’s hand. “Don’t disturb unless you want an ass kicking.”

After they’ve both changed into clean, dry clothes, and then almost instantly shed those clothes in the process of having quiet but intense sex that rolls over both of them like an unplanned-for summer storm, Finn tells Rey about his disaster of a day, including the bit about Matt and his thunder-averse boyfriend, which makes Rey laugh even harder than he’d dreamed it would. She tells him about her day, and he’s all sympathy and cuddling when it turns out hers well outpaces his for horribleness. The telling of it seems to unburden her, and she reaches over Finn’s shoulder to grab one of the remaining flowers from the sadly deconstructed bouquet, tucking it behind his ear.

“Well, it’s something to tell the grandchildren,” she says, stroking the back of one finger along the line of Finn’s jaw. “Our first Valentine’s Day together.”

Finn kisses her and tries not to interpret that as a lowkey marriage proposal. Maybe she was just joking around, being lighthearted. But something about the way she said grandchildren makes him highkey wonder if she’s been thinking about their future pretty seriously, too.

Feeling pretty sure that she has been really helps around three in the morning, when Finn is half-awake and sharing a pair of headphones with Rey as they blearily watch another old X-Files episode on her laptop in an attempt to drown out the sounds that are again coming from the bedroom across the hall. Attempting to frame this in the most generous way possible, mostly out of sheer exhaustion, Finn hopes that Ben really has found the love of his life, and that the trajectory of this love will take Ben far, far away from here.

**

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Turning To The Past For Present Comfort

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It started with the bread baking. Pushed by shutdown orders, limited supply and millions of consumers looking for something to do to fill their newfound hours of free time amid shutdowns, many people began making bread.

Instagram began looking incredibly like a bakery’s front page. So-called “breadstagrammers” filled it with pictures of proofing bread dough in coiled wooden bannetons or artisanally shaped loaves centered on breakfast tables.

And, as one Slate writer/pandemic baking enthusiast put it, there was “focaccia with mounds and valleys like hilly country seen from a plane; before-and-after photos showing the power of oven spring, as a ball of raw dough blossoms into a crusty loaf; and cross-sections of sourdough with crumb so open you could hardly butter a slice.”

The bread of social media, like the people who were posting photos of it, always looked its best when presented to the world. Loaves that were burned, failed to rise evenly or ended up looking mildly malformed were consigned to be eaten undocumented, or occasionally posted to a baking misfire thread with all the other failed breads.

The national obsession with baking bread quickly turned into a national debate on the best bread to make and the best way to make it. Dry yeast or fresh cultures? Hand-kneading or stand-mixing? Sourdough versus every other kind of bread? And is banana bread really bread, or is it just a cake aiming above its station?

As it turns out, bread is a highly variable subject on which people have incredibly strong positions. And while baking one’s own bread was the first prominent throwback trend when it came to how consumers are filling their time, it’s been far from the only one.

Digitization and advances in futuristic technology have gotten all the glory during COVID-19, but high-tech hasn’t been the only thing skyrocketing during the pandemic. A whole lot of old things are finding new uses right now, as consumers look for both something to do and an easy way to harken back to simpler times.

Cottagecore

Forget about “hygge,” the Danish interior design and lifestyle trend most closely associated with making one’s person and home as cozy as possible. “Cottagecore” is the newest trend in town when it comes to enhancing the comforts of the home.

Cottagecore is a design and lifestyle trend that sees modern Instagrammers building their personal aesthetics around an idealized version of later 18th-century and 19th-century British pastoral life.

A day in the life of a typical cottagecore enthusiast – according to Jesca, an Orlando area devotee speaking to Vox – involves such things as knitting or taking a trip to the farmers’ market. Jesca also bakes heart-shaped strawberry tarts, makes beeswax candles and tends to her plants. And she does all of this while wearing what’s become the dominant fashion aesthetic of cottagecore: billowy dresses, puffed sleeves and lots of floral patterns.

Other hallmarks of cottagecore include lace doilies, handmade fairy spoons, illustrations from Frog & Toad, Beatrix Potter stories and the general styling of The Secret Garden.

According to published reports, cottagecore comes in several sub-genres. For example, there’s “meadowcore” (cottagecore, but focused on meadows), “forestcore” (cottage core in whimsical wooded settings) and “frog core” (19th-century cottagecore aesthetic sensibility applied wholly and entirely to frogs). And our personal favorite at PYMNTS: “goblincore” (cottagecore, but with fewer flowers and sparkles and more mud, foraged mushrooms and gender-neutral clothing).

Cottagecore and its strength as a social media movement are something of a contradiction. It’s an idealized aesthetic celebration of a past that never quite existed, enabling the participants to harness a modern digital connection and pushing the trend into going viral.

But it’s a contradiction that cottagecore participants embrace because – as Evienne Yanney, a 16-year-old Californian enthusiast, noted in an interview – the joys of an imagined past are in many ways far preferable to existing fully in the present. “The thought of running away to a cottage is really, I guess, kind of soothing,” Yanney said.

Talking to the “TODAY” show, Amelia Ansink, accessories editor for Fashion Snoops, made a similar point on the rise of cottagecore. She sees it as a search for stability uniquely suited for the present historical moment.

“During the worldwide pandemic and long periods of stay-at-home orders, the movement accelerated rapidly as people looked for an escape from our dark reality,” Ansink said. “Cottage core unintentionally represents the ideal quarantine life, where isolation in nature is strived for and everything we need can be produced at home and by our own hands.”

But what about those goods that can’t be procured at home by our own hands? Like when one wants a glass of wine but the YouTube videos on how to start your own backyard vineyard aren’t helpful enough?

As it turns out, the past has a solution for that, too.

The Wine Window: History’s First Drive-Thru

While much has been said about how the drive-thru window has been among the things saving the QSR segment from ruin during the pandemic, it turns out this isn’t the first time in history that service windows have become important tools in combating the spread of a plague.

Centuries ago, when the Black Death was ravaging Europe, the good people of Italy were on the hunt for a way to enjoy a decent glass of wine in the public square without dying.

And thus, the good people of Tuscany invented the buchette del vino, or “wine window.” It was a pint-sized hatch carved into the walls of urban wineries and shops, offering just enough room for medieval merchants to slip a drink to customers and accept payments in return.

Wine windows remain carved into the walls of some Tuscan wineries to this day, but fell into disuse as the invention of antibiotics made that bubonic plague a negligible risk for modern consumers.

Or at least wine windows had fallen out of favor until recently, when a new global pandemic left people desiring a good, stiff drink and a safer way to consume it. That’s something the wine window was literally designed to provide.

“Everyone is confined to home for two months and then the government permits a gradual reopening,” the Wine Window Association website reads. “During this time, some enterprising Florentine Wine Window owners have turned back the clock and are using their Wine Windows to dispense glasses of wine, cups of coffee, drinks, sandwiches and ice cream — all germ-free, contactless!”

Association President Matteo Faglia told The New York Post that “people could knock on the little wooden shutters and have their bottles filled direct from the Antinori, Frescobaldi and Ricasoli families, who still produce some of Italy’s best-known wine.”

Wine windows aren’t only getting a boost from consumers, but also historians who’d like to see their contributions – now and over the course of history – more officially honored, Faglia noted.

“We want to put a plaque by all the wine windows, as people tend to respect them more when they understand what they are and their history,” he said.

Whether wine windows will be immortalized with plaques remains to be seen – as does whether or not their use will last beyond the latest pandemic.

In fact, the long-term stickiness of such new, old-time habits that consumers are using as security blankets to keep COVID-19 anxiety at bay remains to be seen. While it seemed that everyone on Earth was deep into bread-baking as a lifestyle this spring, by the time summer rolled around, people’s enthusiasm for making their own bread had cooled as much as the picture-perfect loaves posted on Instagram.

Will cottagecore face the same fate once consumers are less confined to their “cottages?”

Well, considering that hygge was already on its way to becoming a household word among millennial consumers, we think it’s safe to say that consumers’ obsessions with cozy, comfortable surroundings weren’t created solely because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Thus, they’ll likely still be around long after the pandemic has passed into the historical record. But whether that obsession will look quite so much like 18th-century pastoral England and involve quite so many handmade bonnets bought on Etsy is anyone’s guess.

——————————

New PYMNTS Report: Preventing Financial Crimes Playbook – July 2020 

Call it the great tug-of-war. Fraudsters are teaming up to form elaborate rings that work in sync to launch account takeovers. Chris Tremont, EVP at Radius Bank, tells PYMNTS that financial institutions (FIs) can beat such highly organized fraudsters at their own game. In the July 2020 Preventing Financial Crimes Playbook, Tremont lays out how.

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With 2019 vanishing in the rear view mirror, Markets Daily is back for an insightful look into Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs) and the US Dollar’s ongoing reserve status.Tune in as CoinDesk podcasts editor Adam B. Levine and senior markets reporter Brad Keoun run down recent action, track interesting longer-term trends, and highlight the best “thinking with tokens” and some of the most important crypto industry developments of the day. No time to listen? Scroll down for the transcript with full links.Having trouble with the embedded player? You can download the MP3 here.In this episode:Markets, international and industry news roundup2020 looks set to be a big year for Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs), but why? Adam gets into it, with a look at the innovation vs. optimization mindsetsAnother decade of US dollar reserve dominance? Brad’s dug into the numbers and shares his resultsMore ways to Listen or SubscribeTranscriptAdam B. Levine: On Today’s episode, bitcoin in the new year, Bahamanian Blockchain Bucks and a look at US Dollar reserve status.Adam: It’s January 2, 2020, and you’re listening to Markets Daily, I’m Adam B. Levine, editor of Podcasts here At Coindesk, along with our senior markets reporter, Brad Keoun, to give you a concise daily briefing on crypto markets and some of the most important news developments in the sector over the past 24 hours. Brad: Bitcoin currently around $7100, essentially in the range where it traded through most of the holidays in what was a very calm and quiet end to the year for the largest cryptocurrency, after some pretty wild market swings over the course of the past 12 monthsAnd just to close the books on 2019, bitcoin prices rose $3,475 on the year, recovering roughly a third of the $10,186 decline we saw during 2018, which was so brutal on the entire crypto industry that it’s often referred to as “Crypto Winter”Bitcoin’s full-year price rise works out to a 94 percent gain on the year, or almost double, in its best year since 2017, when the cryptocurrency’s price famously jumped 13-fold to its all-time-high around $20,000It’s important to note that as Wall Street celebrated its best full-year performance for stock investors in six years, with the S&P 500 posting a 29% price gain, bitcoin’s performance was roughly triple in sizeAdam: Looking out to 2020, it’s going to be a landmark year for crypto development along with a lot of other major world events such as the U.S. presidential election and the quadrennial summer olympics in TokyoPerhaps the most high-profile event in the crypto space is bitcoin’s so-called halving, expected in May, when the supply of new units of the cryptocurrency will be cut in halfSome analysts have predicted that the reduction in bitcoin supply, at a time when investor demand for cryptocurrency is increasing, could drive the price to a new all-time high around $100,000Though other analysts say they think that traders and cryptocurrency miners have already adjusted their price models to reflect anticipated reduction in new bitcoin supply, which means that the impact of the halving should already be theoretically be baked into the marketBrad: Nic Carter of Castle Island Ventures wrote last week in a post on The Block that he thinks that the crypto industry is really just about halfway through a deleveraging from the bubble levels we saw in 2017He thinks we’ll see further rationalization in the industry in 2020, with some token projects failing to achieve anything resembling critical mass, and dying off, especially in the face of continued regulatory scrutinyAnd in yet another setback for a South Korean crypto exchange following last year’s alleged $49 million hack of the Upbit exchange, Bithumb has reportedly had about $70 million worth of taxes on cryptocurrency gains withheld, the first time the country’s tax agency has taken such a stepBithumb reportedly plans to take legal action against the claim, leaving it unclear what the consequences might be for customers or the exchange itself A tax professor at the University of Seoul told CoinDesk that the exchange might have to make the tax payment and then go back and try to collect the amount from foreign clients, though from a practical standpoint, that might prove impossibleAdam: Turning to todays featured story, with several proposed central bank digital currencies (CBDCs) picking up steam, CoinDesk’s Danny Nelson reports on one projects quiet holiday launch…The Bahamas’ digital currency pilot project went live late last month.Residents of the island can now enroll in the Central Bank of The Bahamas’ “Project Sand Dollar,” which began Dec. 27. They’ll receive mobile wallets the Bahamian government sees as facilitating the future of payments on the island chain. Bankers said “Sand Dollar” is a “digital fiat currency” – not a cryptocurrency, stablecoin or competitor to the Bahamian dollar. Instead, it is simply a digital version “equivalent in every respect to the paper currency,” they said in the project outline. But it is also a step toward the Bahamas’ long-term goal of launching a fully-fledged central bank digital currency (CBDC), Also called the sand dollar. That larger project would link domestic residents and businesses across a seamless digital payment infrastructure.CoinDesk.comPausing for a moment, we’ll turn to Dr. Gina Pieters, who recently wrote for CoinDesk’s year in review series:The Central Bank consensus is that decentralization is not a desirable property in a CBDC as it could aid tax avoidance and enable criminal payment systems. Therefore, while they recognize digital money may be an improvement over physical money, a central bank designed digital currency will not resemble a decentralized cryptocurrency. Planned CBDCs are not bitcoin-but-issued-by-the-government. They are more like credit-cards-but-issued-by-the-government, where your transactions can be tracked, examined and linked to your taxpayer-identity. CoinDesk.comThere’s always been two, largely incompatible, ways to appreciate the revolutionary possibilities of cryptocurrency, blockchains and tokens as a way to track ownership as a whole.  Call it the difference between innovation and optimization. Innovators like cryptocurrency because its radical trust model eliminates the power which traditional systems imbue in central banks or other forms of monetary policy.  They see the current system as fatally flawed by short term human bias, among other things, and decentralized cryptocurrency with its currency issuance publicly known a hundred years in advance, presents what looks like unstoppable competition in a space where competition is simply not allowed, yet is so desperately needed. The move towards Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs) is the optimization perspective – These people broadly think that current central bank operated money systems are great, but could certainly benefit from improvements… And that’s what they see this technology as, optimizing or improving the rough edges on a system which is already great, and which they have no desire to fundamentally change.Returning to Danny for more details on the Bahamian program:In this vision, residents can pay retailers through wallet-linked QR codes, with banks moving funds in digital form. The Central Bank believes this could ultimately cut currency printing costs and transaction fees while enhancing financial inclusion.“A widely adopted CBDC would place users at less risk of violent crimes that target holders of cash, and potentially reduce security and insurance costs associated with keeping cash on business premises,” according to the outline.For now, however, the sand dollar faces far more restrictive limits from the government. Businesses cannot hold more than B$1 million in their digital wallets, nor can they transact more than one-eighth of their annual business through the wallets in any given month. And individuals max out at B$500, with higher limits coming through “enhanced due diligence” on their accounts.CoinDesk.comAdam: We’ll have more on this developing story as events unfold.Adam: And now, for today’s spotlight, we’re stepping outside the crypto space to take a look at global foreign exchange markets, and specifically the U.S. dollar’s status as the world’s dominant currencyBrad: The U.S. dollar has been the primary currency for payments in international trade for almost a century, since the world wars of the first half of the 1900s, when the British empire’s influence faded and its currency, pound sterling, saw its use as a global tender declineOf course the dollar also occupies a key spot in discussion of cryptocurrencies, since the original and oldest digital asset, bitcoin, was originally proposed as a private-market alternative to government-issued currencies like the dollar in peer-to-peer paymentsBut based on the way that crypto markets have evolved, the dollar is impossible to avoid, since bitcoin is priced in dollars, similar to the way major commodities like oil and gold are quoted in dollarsthere’s a growing roster of so-called stablecoins like tether, USD Coin and dai, whose value is pegged to the dollarAnd in some ways, even China’s planned digital version of its renminbi might trade a lot like a dollar-linked cryptocurrency, since Chinese authorities typically synch the renminbi’s daily fixed exchange rate with wherever the dollar happens to be trading    Now the big question is how long the dollar can hold on as the global reserve currencyIt’s an important question because there are big benefits to the U.S. from having its own currency as such a pillar of global capital markets, but also there’s a self-perpetuating cycle at work here that creates imbalances and the risks of rapid and messy change U.S. consumers benefit disproportionately from the dollar’s strength, since foreigners are essentially subsidizing Americans’ habit of importing more than they export And global demand for dollar-denominated assets helps keep interest rates low on things like Treasury bonds despite a U.S. federal budget deficit of more than $1 trillion a yearThat dynamic encourages governments, businesses and households to take on ever-growing amounts of debt, which might be difficult to pay back if borrowing costs suddenly jumpedHistory shows that these epochal shifts do eventually come, but change can be quite slow in comingAnd a new report this week from CoinDesk showed that, as China’s global ambitions and rapidly advancing digital-asset technologies pose new threats to the dollar, the U.S. currency looks as strong as ever in global capital marketsAs of Dec. 30, an index of the U.S. dollar’s value is up 24 percent over the past decadeThat happened even as the Federal Reserve pumped more than $2 trillion of freshly printed money into the financial system and U.S. national debt more than doubled to about $23 trillion – both developments that economists have warned could faster inflation and a reduction in the dollar’s purchasing power And the greenback’s share of central bank foreign exchange reserves stands at about 62 percent, essentially unchanged since Jan. 1, 2010, according to the International Monetary FundThe second-place euro, touted by some leading economists in the late 2000s as a potential rival to the dollar, saw its share of central bank reserves decline over the past decade to about 20 percent from 26 percentThe Japanese yen, seen as a threat to the dollar in the 1980s, now accounts for just 5.4 percent of central bank reservesThe British pound, which as we said earlier dominated global trade in the 1800s, has a modest share of 4.4 percent, with its future uncertain as the U.K. moves toward an exit from the European UnionAnd China, despite decades of rapid economic growth and a push by authorities there to expand the renminbi’s use in international trade and payments, has never seen its currency account for more than 2 percent of central banks’ reserves.As for digital assets, frequently touted as the future of money, they barely register as an asset class compared with government-issued currenciesBitcoin’s entire market value stands at about $133 billion, well below central banks’ de minimis $218 billion allocation to the renminbiThe point here is that as the new decade of the 2020s dawn, and we see an array of what appear to be very serious challenges to the dollar’s dominance on the horizon, the dollar is going to be tough to dethroneAnd if the dollar were to lose its dominant status, it would entail a pretty landmark and potentially tumultuous shift not just in global capital markets but also in the geopolitical landscape Adam: Join us again on Friday,  for the next Markets Daily from Coindesk.  To make sure you never miss an episode, you can subscribe to Markets daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and just about any other place you’d like to listen.  If you’re enjoying the show, we really appreciate you leaving a review. And if you have any thoughts or comments, email podcasts@coindesk.comDisclosure Read More The leader in blockchain news, CoinDesk is a media outlet that strives for the highest journalistic standards and abides by a strict set of editorial policies. CoinDesk is an independent operating subsidiary of Digital Currency Group, which invests in cryptocurrencies and blockchain startups.

http://m.globalone.com.np/2020/01/markets-daily-central-bank-digital.html

[captaingardening100-blog]

The Month of July 2019: Holidays, Fun Facts, Folklore

New Post has been published on https://gardenguideto.com/awesome/the-month-of-july-2019-holidays-fun-facts-folklore/

The Month of July 2019: Holidays, Fun Facts, Folklore

July is the month when summer has a firm hold on all of us. The average temperature just about everywhere in the country is above 70°F, and thunderstorms are nearly as abundant as ants at a picnic.

The farmers grind and whet their scythes, While hay-stacks in the meadows rise: Green fields and shady groves appear, And rip’ning harvest crowns the year.

–The 1793 [Old] Farmer’s Almanac

Holiday Happenings

July received its name in order to honor the Roman dictator Julius Caesar (100 B.C.–44 B.C.). With the help of Sosigenes, Caesar developed the precursor to the Gregorian calendar we use today. 

July 1 is Canada Day, a Canadian federal holiday that celebrates the creation of the Dominion of Canada in 1867. The Dominion of Canada was a union of the three separate Canadian colonies of the time—New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Canada (which included Quebec and Ontario). Canada remained a part of the British Empire until 1982. 

On July 3, the hot and sultry Dog Days of Summer begin! Read all about the Dog Days of Summer.

July 4: Independence Day (U.S.) on the fourth of July celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776. Don’t forget to raise the flag! See American Flag Rules.

July 14 is Bastille Day, which commemorates the storming of the Bastille and the start of the French Revolution.

Did You Know? John Adams believed that July 2 would be the day when Americans would celebrate their independence. On July 3, 1776, he wrote to his wife, Abigail: “The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival.”

Wacky Holidays

Have fun with these strange celebrations:

July is National Watermelon Month! July 7–13: National Farriers Week July 8: International Town Criers Day July 17: World Emoji Day Jul 20–28: National Moth Week July 22: Spooner’s Day July 27: Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day

Recipes for the Season

Enjoy some delicious summertime recipes:

Grilled Chicken and Herb-Cheese Wraps Baked Summer Squash Grilled Summer Vegetables

See our tips on how to grill vegetables.

Visit our Fourth of July recipe page for a list of festive food ideas!

Visit the garden-fresh Summer Recipes collection for great meal ideas using fresh, seasonal ingredients.

Gardening

Now all hands to haying; begin by mowing the ripest and thinnest first.

Look to your gardens; see that you destroy all kinds of weeds before they go to seed.

In July, summer bugs are at their best (or worst, as the case may be). Get help on our pests and problems page.

Are your crops starting to take over your kitchen? Check out some of our storage tips for fruits, vegetables, and herbs.

Everyday Advice

Warm weather allows us to get outside and complete some annual household duties.

Do you have some painting to do? Learn how to choose and use the right paintbrush for the job.

Many folks sell their house in the summer. Check out our tips on a speedy house sale.

Astronomy

On July 4, Earth is at aphelion, the point in its orbit at which it is farthest from the Sun. The distance between the two orbs will be 94,513,221 miles.

July’s full Moon, the Full Buck Moon, occurs on the 16th, at 5:38 P.M. EDT. Read about the Full Buck Moon or see more Moon phases.

Look up! Summer is a great time for stargazing. See our Sky Watch highlights to know what you’re seeing above.

Folklore for the Season Ne’er trust a July sky. If ant hills are high in July, the coming winter will be hard. As July, so next January.

No tempest, good July, Lest the corn look ruely.

Whatever July and August do not boil,September can not fry.

July Birth Flower

July’s birth flowers are the larkspur and water lily.

The larkspur, especially white forms, generally indicates lightheartedness; pink, fickleness; purple, first love.

The water lily symbolizes purity of heart. Find out more about July’s birth flowers.

July Birthstone

The July birthstone is the ruby, which is believed to protect its wearer from evil.

“Ruby” is derived from the Latin rubeus, which means “red.” This gem is a red form of corundum; all other colors are sapphires. The ruby’s color is due to the presence of chromium, which also makes the gem subject to cracks. High-quality rubies are a transparent, vibrant, purplish red; cloudier samples, or ones containing brown, orange, or pink tones, are less valuable. Many rubies nowadays are heat-treated to improve color saturation and transparency. The ruby, along with the related sapphire, are the second hardest natural gemstones, with only the diamond being harder. The gem was once thought to protect warriors if worn on their armor or embedded in their skin. Considered the king of gems, the ruby symbolizes love, passion, energy, and success.

Find our more about July’s birthstone.

July Zodiac & Astrology

July’s zodiac signs are Cancer (June 21 to July 22) and Leo (July 23 to August 22). Find out your zodiac sign profile.

Mercury Retrograde: Mercury will enter retrograde motion on July 7, finishing on August 2. Read more about Mercury Retrograde.

This Month in History

WE DO DECLARE!

On April 19, 1775, during the Battles of Lexington and Concord (Mass.), the first shots were fired between colonists and British troops, starting the American Revolution. After these first military conflicts, tension between Britain and her American colonists continued to mount. Finally, on July 2, 1776, the Second Continental Congress voted for independence from Britain.

Two days later, on July 4, the Congress approved the final draft of the Declaration of Independence, which had been written by Thomas Jefferson and edited by John Adams and Benjamin Franklin. On July 8, the first public reading of the Declaration took place at the Pennsylvania State House (now Independence Hall) in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Later that same day, other readings occurred in Trenton, New Jersey, and Easton, Pennsylvania.

Printer John Dunlap made about 200 copies of the Declaration dated July 4. Known as the (continued on next page) “Dunlap Broadsides,” these were distributed throughout the 13 colonies. However, it wasn’t until August 2 that the Declaration was officially signed. John Hancock, president of the Congress, was the first of 56 delegates who signed this enlarged version, writing in big, bold letters.

Read more: almanac.com

[joshuamshea84]

How to Spend a Week in London

Published: 07/26/18 | July 26th, 2018

London. The Big Smoke. It’s a sprawling city, covering 607 square miles and home to over eight million people.

In fact, London is really a collection of cities. The City of London (aka “The City”) is just 1.1 square miles (and the site of old Roman Londinium). Everything we think of as London today is actually other cities (Westminster, Camden, etc.) that “The City” gobbled up over the years. (Fun fact: The West and East Ends of London are so named because they were outside the ancient wall that enclosed London.)

My like for London turned into love on my most recent visit last month. Maybe it was the beautiful weather that stood in stark contrast to my other visits, maybe it was the people who I suddenly felt bonded with, maybe it was all the good restaurants and bars I found. Maybe it just took a decade of visits for the city to just “click” with me. Maybe it was all of it. I don’t know.

But now I’m head over heels for the city!

With so much to see and do, London can seem like an overwhelming place, so in today’s post I want to share my suggested one-week itinerary for a visit to London that takes you along — and off — the beaten tourist path:

What to See and Do in London: Day 1

Take a free walking tour – Start your first day off with a free walking tour to orient yourself and learn about the history of London. London is pretty damn big and hard to see much of in just a few hours, so most walking tours simply focus on a small area of the city. Here are my favorite free walking tour companies:

Free Tours by Foot – I’ve taken this company’s NYC tours, so when I found out they had a London version, I was thrilled. Some of the best are the Westminster, Harry Potter, Soho, ghost, and street art tours. Most walks last two to two and a half hours.

Free London Walking Tours – This tiny company offers free walks from a few older British chaps that have an air of a university professor. They tell silly jokes but are super knowledgeable about the most arcane facts of London history. Be sure to check out their “Fire, Pestilence, and Plague” and “Debauched London” tours. Each lasts two hours.

New Europe Walking Tours – This company has free walking tours all over Europe. They are sort of the “backpacker tours,” as most hostels in town heavily promote them, so you see mostly young travelers on their walks. They are good for a broad historic overview of the city. Tours last about three hours.

Pick a neighborhood and wander – London is a great city to just walk around in. You can follow the ancient Roman wall (part of the wall still exists and so does an old Roman amphitheater, which was rediscovered in the 1980s) from the Tower of London through the center of the city. The city maintains a series of panels about the wall and the history of the city along the way.

There are a couple of app-based options too. Visit London has a free app that lets you create personalized maps and itineraries that you can use offline. Detour and StrollOn are two other cool companies that provide virtual walking tours.

Relax in a park – After all that walking on the first day (trust me, it’s worth it), chill out in any one of the city’s many parks:

St. James’ Park (Westminster)

Green Park (Westminster/Central London)

Regent’s Park (Camden Town)

Kensington Gardens (Kensington)

Hyde Park (Central London)

Holland Park (Holland Park)

Battersea Park (Battersea)

Hang in Soho – I love Soho. It has cute little parks, world-class restaurants, lots of popular bars, funky bookstores, beautiful buildings, and everything in between. I recommend you spend your evening (or many evenings) here eating and drinking and hanging out with the locals. Some recommended places:

Ceviche Soho – Great Peruvian food. 17 Frith Street

Flat Iron – Simple menu featuring steak and salad and a daily special. That’s it! At £10, it’s a steal. 9 Denmark Street and 17 Beak Street

La Bodega Negra – Amazing Mexican food. 16 Moor Street

Eat Tokyo – Delicious ramen. 16 Old Compton Street

The London Gin Club – The best gin London can offer! 22 Great Chapel Street

Three Greyhounds – A fun traditional pub. Fun story: I ended up drinking with Rami Malek from Mr. Robot! He was nice. 25 Greek Street

What to See and Do in London: Day 2

Soak in art and culture at a museum – Take advantage of London’s hundreds of museums and overload on history, art, weird oddities, and everything in between. Some of them are so big you can barely see them in a week, let alone a day! Here are some of the bigger ones to start with:

British Museum –

By far one of the best in all of Europe, this giant museum houses one of the most comprehensive art, cultural, and historical collections in the world. Be sure to budget at least three hours to get a good sense of the museum, though you could easily spend a whole day there. Great Russell St. +44 20 7323 8299. britishmuseum.org. Open daily 10am-5:30pm.

National Gallery – This art museum was founded in 1824 and houses a collection of over 2,300 paintings dating from the mid-13th century to around 1900. There are works by Johannes Vermeer, Sandro Botticelli, Rembrandt, and Michelangelo, among many more! It’s a really extensive and wonderful art museum. Trafalgar Square. +44 20 7747 2885. nationalgallery.org.uk. Open daily 10am-6pm.

City of London Museum – I love this museum. It gives you a detailed overview of London’s history and has an excellent exhibit on the Great Fire of 1666. 150 London Wall. +44 20 7001 9844. museumoflondon.org.uk/museum-london. Open daily 10am-6pm.

National Portrait Gallery – Here you’ll find portraits of centuries of famous Brits, from kings and queens to celebrities and artists. St. Martin’s Place. npg.org.uk. +44 20 7306 0055. Open daily 10am-6pm (until 9pm on Fridays).

Note: All these museums are free!

What to See and Do in London: Day 3

Wander around Westminster – Start off with a stroll through Hyde Park’s lush and expansive grounds, with its picturesque walkways, ponds, and ducks, before heading to Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guard at 10:45am. It lasts for about 45 minutes (arrive early to get the best view).

If you’re visiting during the summer, Buckingham Palace is open to the public (in 2018, the dates are July 21 to September 30.). Booking in advance online is recommended. Tickets are £24.

Next, meander over to the Churchill War Rooms. Located beneath the Treasury Building in the Whitehall area of Westminster, this includes the government’s command center during WWII and a museum about the life of Winston Churchill. The centerpiece of the whole place is an interactive table that enables visitors to access digitized material from the Churchill archives. It is one of the best museums in London. Book online in advance to avoid the multi-hour wait! Open 9:30am-7pm in July and August; 9:30am-6pm from September to June. Admission is £18.90 per person.

Afterward, marvel at Westminster Abbey and Parliament. You can see the tombs of 17 monarchs dating back to Henry III (who died in 1272) in the Abbey. Other famous people buried here include Charles Darwin, Sir Issac Newton, Aphra Behn, and Charles Dickens. Westminster Abbey costs £20 but you can visit for free if you go during a service. Just be quiet. On Saturdays, you can tour Parliament. Tickets booked in advance are £25.50; same-day tickets cost £28. Tours start at 9am, with the last tour of the day being at 4:30pm.

Eat in Borough Market – After that, hop on the tube from Westminster to London Bridge (or walk along the South Bank) and head to the famous Borough Market to grab a meal from one of the many vendors. It’s hugely popular with locals, especially around lunchtime.

Wander South London – After you’ve satiated your hunger, wander around South London. See the site of the original Globe Theater, visit the eerie Crossbones Cemetery that honors the working girls and lost souls of London, walk along the riverfront, marvel at Millennium Bridge, and pop into the Tate Modern for a few hours to take in some of the best modern art London has to offer (it’s free). Then head back toward Borough Market for a drink at the George Inn, one of London’s oldest pubs and where Charles Dickens used to drink (it’s also likely that William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe also drank here). The new Globe Theater is also here if you want to take in a Shakespearean play!

What to See and Do in London: Day 4

Hit up some more museums – London is museum city. It has some of the best in the world, so I suggest you visit a few more before you go:

Natural History Museum – There are over 80 million items in this comprehensive museum, including specimens collected by Charles Darwin. It also has a great collection of fossils, making it a fun and educational stop if you’re traveling with kids. Cromwell Road, +44 20 7942 5000, nhm.ac.uk. Open daily from 10am to 5:30pm.

Science Museum – Founded in 1857, this is actually one of the most popular museums in London, attracting over three million visitors each year. There are some really neat interactive galleries on flight and space, and the temporary exhibitions are usually pretty amazing (though those often cost extra). Exhibition Road, South Kensington, +44 20 7942 4000, sciencemuseum.org.uk. Open daily from 10am to 6pm.

Victoria and Albert Museum – Named after Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, this museum is home to over 2,000 works of art covering over 3,000 years of human history. Cromwell Road, +44 20 7942 2000, vam.ac.uk. Open daily from 10am to 5:45pm (10pm on Fridays).

Eat on Brick Lane – Head east to the famous Brick Lane and eat your heart out — it has some amazing Jewish delis (Beigel Bake is the most famous — and delicious) and Indian cuisine. On the weekends, this street becomes a bustling flea market and a hub of activity when it fills with antique and flea market sellers, food vendors, and people eating and drinking their way down the street.

Take a Jack the Ripper tour – Every night, you’ll find tons of people in the East End learning about Jack the Ripper on a ridiculous number of similar tours. My favorite is the original Jack the Ripper Tour. Get Mick as your guide; he’s obsessed with Jack the Ripper (he even wrote a pretty decent book on the subject) and will fill you with arcane knowledge. Very animated too!

What to See and Do in London: Day 5

Visit these art galleries – Into art? Great! London is the perfect place to window-shop! Here are some galleries worth checking out:

Maureen Paley – 21 Herald Street, +44 20 7729 4112, maureenpaley.com

Jealous – Shoreditch and Crouch End, jealousgallery.com

Unit – 3 Hanover Square, +44 20 7494 2035, theunitldn.com

Marian Goodman Gallery – 5-8 Lower John Street, +44 20 7099 0088, mariangoodman.com

Explore the Tower of London and its crown jewels – Built in 1070 by William the Conqueror to defend his royal power, the tower was expanded many times over the years. Until the 1800s, weapons and armor were made here and all coins were made here until 1810. Now, it houses the famous crown jewels. The Tower of London’s changing of the guard (the Ceremony of the Keys) and takes place daily at 9:30pm. Tickets are free but book in advance because it fills up quickly. Tickets to the Tower are £22.70 for adults and £10.75 for children. Open Tues-Sat (9am-5:30pm), and Sun-Mon (10am-5:30pm).

Be sure to also head to nearby Tower Bridge, which opened in 1894 (and lot of people confuse with London Bridge). You can access the bridge deck to take in the view or check out the Tower Bridge Exhibition, where you can see the old Victorian engine rooms and get a sense of just how epic an engineering feat the bridge’s construction actually was. Open daily 10am-5:30pm and costs £8.70 for adults.

Take in a show – London is my second favorite theater spot after New York City. You can’t leave without seeing a show. Check out TKTS for discounted tickets for shows in the West End.

What to See and Do in London: Days 6 or 7

Take a day trip to Stonehenge – Stonehenge, located in Salisbury, is one of the oldest man-made structures in the world (it dates back to 2500 BCE). You can’t approach the stones anymore as they are now cordoned off, but it’s still quite a fascinating site to explore. The audio tour is a must so you can get some historical context.

Take a day trip to Bath – Bath is named after its famous mineral baths. It is home to an ancient Roman bath that is marvelously well preserved (the audio guide by Bill Bryson is a must). It’s pretty much the main attraction in town, though the church and river are also nice.

Take a day trip to Oxford – Oxford is one of the oldest universities in the world and exploring all the beautiful colleges here makes for a fun day trip. Most cost a few pounds sterling for a tour. You can even see the one where they filmed Harry Potter. In addition, you can visit the famous Bodleian Library, wander the town’s historic center, and enjoy some good food.

Visit the Dennis Severs House – Located in the East End in Shoreditch, this house is an immersive art experience (“still life drama”) set up to represent how a family of silk weavers would have lived from 1724 to the early 20th century. Honestly, I didn’t really get it: I mean, it was funky and arty, and there’s whispering going on from speakers in the walls, but I didn’t get why everyone loves it. Regardless, it’s one of the more unique things to do. If you are into immersive, participatory art, you’ll like this. 18 Folgate Street, +44 20 7247 4013, dennissevershouse.co.uk. Advance booking required. Prices start at £10 per person.

Take a paid walking tour – During my last visit to London I tried out over 25 different walking tours. There are amazing companies that have created some insightful, entertaining, and delicious walks for every type of interest. From Harry Potter walks to historic pub crawls, there will definitely be something for everyone. For some inspiration, here are some of my favorites!

***

London is one of the biggest cities in the world, with a ton of things to see and do (I didn’t even get to mentioning Camden, Notting Holl, and all the other neighborhoods!). It’s easy to get lost in every neighborhood. A week in London barely scratches the surface, but it is enough to get a good overview, dive into its smaller neighborhoods, and get a taste of local history and culture. Use this London itinerary as a guide for your next trip and get a feel for why I love this city so much now!

Book Your Trip to London: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight to London by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines. Start with Momondo.

Book Your Accommodation My favorite hostels in London are St. Christopher’s Inn, Clink78, and Astor Hyde Park Hostel. If you’re looking for a hostel in London, use Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates. (Here’s the proof.)

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. I never ever go on a trip without it. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. You should too.

Need Some Gear? Check out our resource page for the best companies to use!

Want More Information on London? Be sure to visit our robust London destination guide on London for even more planning tips!

The post How to Spend a Week in London appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/london-itinerary/

[melissagarcia8]

How to Spend a Week in London

Published: 07/26/18 | July 26th, 2018

London. The Big Smoke. It’s a sprawling city, covering 607 square miles and home to over eight million people.

In fact, London is really a collection of cities. The City of London (aka “The City”) is just 1.1 square miles (and the site of old Roman Londinium). Everything we think of as London today is actually other cities (Westminster, Camden, etc.) that “The City” gobbled up over the years. (Fun fact: The West and East Ends of London are so named because they were outside the ancient wall that enclosed London.)

My like for London turned into love on my most recent visit last month. Maybe it was the beautiful weather that stood in stark contrast to my other visits, maybe it was the people who I suddenly felt bonded with, maybe it was all the good restaurants and bars I found. Maybe it just took a decade of visits for the city to just “click” with me. Maybe it was all of it. I don’t know.

But now I’m head over heels for the city!

With so much to see and do, London can seem like an overwhelming place, so in today’s post I want to share my suggested one-week itinerary for a visit to London that takes you along — and off — the beaten tourist path:

What to See and Do in London: Day 1

Take a free walking tour – Start your first day off with a free walking tour to orient yourself and learn about the history of London. London is pretty damn big and hard to see much of in just a few hours, so most walking tours simply focus on a small area of the city. Here are my favorite free walking tour companies:

Free Tours by Foot – I’ve taken this company’s NYC tours, so when I found out they had a London version, I was thrilled. Some of the best are the Westminster, Harry Potter, Soho, ghost, and street art tours. Most walks last two to two and a half hours.

Free London Walking Tours – This tiny company offers free walks from a few older British chaps that have an air of a university professor. They tell silly jokes but are super knowledgeable about the most arcane facts of London history. Be sure to check out their “Fire, Pestilence, and Plague” and “Debauched London” tours. Each lasts two hours.

New Europe Walking Tours – This company has free walking tours all over Europe. They are sort of the “backpacker tours,” as most hostels in town heavily promote them, so you see mostly young travelers on their walks. They are good for a broad historic overview of the city. Tours last about three hours.

Pick a neighborhood and wander – London is a great city to just walk around in. You can follow the ancient Roman wall (part of the wall still exists and so does an old Roman amphitheater, which was rediscovered in the 1980s) from the Tower of London through the center of the city. The city maintains a series of panels about the wall and the history of the city along the way.

There are a couple of app-based options too. Visit London has a free app that lets you create personalized maps and itineraries that you can use offline. Detour and StrollOn are two other cool companies that provide virtual walking tours.

Relax in a park – After all that walking on the first day (trust me, it’s worth it), chill out in any one of the city’s many parks:

St. James’ Park (Westminster)

Green Park (Westminster/Central London)

Regent’s Park (Camden Town)

Kensington Gardens (Kensington)

Hyde Park (Central London)

Holland Park (Holland Park)

Battersea Park (Battersea)

Hang in Soho – I love Soho. It has cute little parks, world-class restaurants, lots of popular bars, funky bookstores, beautiful buildings, and everything in between. I recommend you spend your evening (or many evenings) here eating and drinking and hanging out with the locals. Some recommended places:

Ceviche Soho – Great Peruvian food. 17 Frith Street

Flat Iron – Simple menu featuring steak and salad and a daily special. That’s it! At £10, it’s a steal. 9 Denmark Street and 17 Beak Street

La Bodega Negra – Amazing Mexican food. 16 Moor Street

Eat Tokyo – Delicious ramen. 16 Old Compton Street

The London Gin Club – The best gin London can offer! 22 Great Chapel Street

Three Greyhounds – A fun traditional pub. Fun story: I ended up drinking with Rami Malek from Mr. Robot! He was nice. 25 Greek Street

What to See and Do in London: Day 2

Soak in art and culture at a museum – Take advantage of London’s hundreds of museums and overload on history, art, weird oddities, and everything in between. Some of them are so big you can barely see them in a week, let alone a day! Here are some of the bigger ones to start with:

British Museum –

By far one of the best in all of Europe, this giant museum houses one of the most comprehensive art, cultural, and historical collections in the world. Be sure to budget at least three hours to get a good sense of the museum, though you could easily spend a whole day there. Great Russell St. +44 20 7323 8299. britishmuseum.org. Open daily 10am-5:30pm.

National Gallery – This art museum was founded in 1824 and houses a collection of over 2,300 paintings dating from the mid-13th century to around 1900. There are works by Johannes Vermeer, Sandro Botticelli, Rembrandt, and Michelangelo, among many more! It’s a really extensive and wonderful art museum. Trafalgar Square. +44 20 7747 2885. nationalgallery.org.uk. Open daily 10am-6pm.

City of London Museum – I love this museum. It gives you a detailed overview of London’s history and has an excellent exhibit on the Great Fire of 1666. 150 London Wall. +44 20 7001 9844. museumoflondon.org.uk/museum-london. Open daily 10am-6pm.

National Portrait Gallery – Here you’ll find portraits of centuries of famous Brits, from kings and queens to celebrities and artists. St. Martin’s Place. npg.org.uk. +44 20 7306 0055. Open daily 10am-6pm (until 9pm on Fridays).

Note: All these museums are free!

What to See and Do in London: Day 3

Wander around Westminster – Start off with a stroll through Hyde Park’s lush and expansive grounds, with its picturesque walkways, ponds, and ducks, before heading to Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guard at 10:45am. It lasts for about 45 minutes (arrive early to get the best view).

If you’re visiting during the summer, Buckingham Palace is open to the public (in 2018, the dates are July 21 to September 30.). Booking in advance online is recommended. Tickets are £24.

Next, meander over to the Churchill War Rooms. Located beneath the Treasury Building in the Whitehall area of Westminster, this includes the government’s command center during WWII and a museum about the life of Winston Churchill. The centerpiece of the whole place is an interactive table that enables visitors to access digitized material from the Churchill archives. It is one of the best museums in London. Book online in advance to avoid the multi-hour wait! Open 9:30am-7pm in July and August; 9:30am-6pm from September to June. Admission is £18.90 per person.

Afterward, marvel at Westminster Abbey and Parliament. You can see the tombs of 17 monarchs dating back to Henry III (who died in 1272) in the Abbey. Other famous people buried here include Charles Darwin, Sir Issac Newton, Aphra Behn, and Charles Dickens. Westminster Abbey costs £20 but you can visit for free if you go during a service. Just be quiet. On Saturdays, you can tour Parliament. Tickets booked in advance are £25.50; same-day tickets cost £28. Tours start at 9am, with the last tour of the day being at 4:30pm.

Eat in Borough Market – After that, hop on the tube from Westminster to London Bridge (or walk along the South Bank) and head to the famous Borough Market to grab a meal from one of the many vendors. It’s hugely popular with locals, especially around lunchtime.

Wander South London – After you’ve satiated your hunger, wander around South London. See the site of the original Globe Theater, visit the eerie Crossbones Cemetery that honors the working girls and lost souls of London, walk along the riverfront, marvel at Millennium Bridge, and pop into the Tate Modern for a few hours to take in some of the best modern art London has to offer (it’s free). Then head back toward Borough Market for a drink at the George Inn, one of London’s oldest pubs and where Charles Dickens used to drink (it’s also likely that William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe also drank here). The new Globe Theater is also here if you want to take in a Shakespearean play!

What to See and Do in London: Day 4

Hit up some more museums – London is museum city. It has some of the best in the world, so I suggest you visit a few more before you go:

Natural History Museum – There are over 80 million items in this comprehensive museum, including specimens collected by Charles Darwin. It also has a great collection of fossils, making it a fun and educational stop if you’re traveling with kids. Cromwell Road, +44 20 7942 5000, nhm.ac.uk. Open daily from 10am to 5:30pm.

Science Museum – Founded in 1857, this is actually one of the most popular museums in London, attracting over three million visitors each year. There are some really neat interactive galleries on flight and space, and the temporary exhibitions are usually pretty amazing (though those often cost extra). Exhibition Road, South Kensington, +44 20 7942 4000, sciencemuseum.org.uk. Open daily from 10am to 6pm.

Victoria and Albert Museum – Named after Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, this museum is home to over 2,000 works of art covering over 3,000 years of human history. Cromwell Road, +44 20 7942 2000, vam.ac.uk. Open daily from 10am to 5:45pm (10pm on Fridays).

Eat on Brick Lane – Head east to the famous Brick Lane and eat your heart out — it has some amazing Jewish delis (Beigel Bake is the most famous — and delicious) and Indian cuisine. On the weekends, this street becomes a bustling flea market and a hub of activity when it fills with antique and flea market sellers, food vendors, and people eating and drinking their way down the street.

Take a Jack the Ripper tour – Every night, you’ll find tons of people in the East End learning about Jack the Ripper on a ridiculous number of similar tours. My favorite is the original Jack the Ripper Tour. Get Mick as your guide; he’s obsessed with Jack the Ripper (he even wrote a pretty decent book on the subject) and will fill you with arcane knowledge. Very animated too!

What to See and Do in London: Day 5

Visit these art galleries – Into art? Great! London is the perfect place to window-shop! Here are some galleries worth checking out:

Maureen Paley – 21 Herald Street, +44 20 7729 4112, maureenpaley.com

Jealous – Shoreditch and Crouch End, jealousgallery.com

Unit – 3 Hanover Square, +44 20 7494 2035, theunitldn.com

Marian Goodman Gallery – 5-8 Lower John Street, +44 20 7099 0088, mariangoodman.com

Explore the Tower of London and its crown jewels – Built in 1070 by William the Conqueror to defend his royal power, the tower was expanded many times over the years. Until the 1800s, weapons and armor were made here and all coins were made here until 1810. Now, it houses the famous crown jewels. The Tower of London’s changing of the guard (the Ceremony of the Keys) and takes place daily at 9:30pm. Tickets are free but book in advance because it fills up quickly. Tickets to the Tower are £22.70 for adults and £10.75 for children. Open Tues-Sat (9am-5:30pm), and Sun-Mon (10am-5:30pm).

Be sure to also head to nearby Tower Bridge, which opened in 1894 (and lot of people confuse with London Bridge). You can access the bridge deck to take in the view or check out the Tower Bridge Exhibition, where you can see the old Victorian engine rooms and get a sense of just how epic an engineering feat the bridge’s construction actually was. Open daily 10am-5:30pm and costs £8.70 for adults.

Take in a show – London is my second favorite theater spot after New York City. You can’t leave without seeing a show. Check out TKTS for discounted tickets for shows in the West End.

What to See and Do in London: Days 6 or 7

Take a day trip to Stonehenge – Stonehenge, located in Salisbury, is one of the oldest man-made structures in the world (it dates back to 2500 BCE). You can’t approach the stones anymore as they are now cordoned off, but it’s still quite a fascinating site to explore. The audio tour is a must so you can get some historical context.

Take a day trip to Bath – Bath is named after its famous mineral baths. It is home to an ancient Roman bath that is marvelously well preserved (the audio guide by Bill Bryson is a must). It’s pretty much the main attraction in town, though the church and river are also nice.

Take a day trip to Oxford – Oxford is one of the oldest universities in the world and exploring all the beautiful colleges here makes for a fun day trip. Most cost a few pounds sterling for a tour. You can even see the one where they filmed Harry Potter. In addition, you can visit the famous Bodleian Library, wander the town’s historic center, and enjoy some good food.

Visit the Dennis Severs House – Located in the East End in Shoreditch, this house is an immersive art experience (“still life drama”) set up to represent how a family of silk weavers would have lived from 1724 to the early 20th century. Honestly, I didn’t really get it: I mean, it was funky and arty, and there’s whispering going on from speakers in the walls, but I didn’t get why everyone loves it. Regardless, it’s one of the more unique things to do. If you are into immersive, participatory art, you’ll like this. 18 Folgate Street, +44 20 7247 4013, dennissevershouse.co.uk. Advance booking required. Prices start at £10 per person.

Take a paid walking tour – During my last visit to London I tried out over 25 different walking tours. There are amazing companies that have created some insightful, entertaining, and delicious walks for every type of interest. From Harry Potter walks to historic pub crawls, there will definitely be something for everyone. For some inspiration, here are some of my favorites!

***

London is one of the biggest cities in the world, with a ton of things to see and do (I didn’t even get to mentioning Camden, Notting Holl, and all the other neighborhoods!). It’s easy to get lost in every neighborhood. A week in London barely scratches the surface, but it is enough to get a good overview, dive into its smaller neighborhoods, and get a taste of local history and culture. Use this London itinerary as a guide for your next trip and get a feel for why I love this city so much now!

Book Your Trip to London: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight to London by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines. Start with Momondo.

Book Your Accommodation My favorite hostels in London are St. Christopher’s Inn, Clink78, and Astor Hyde Park Hostel. If you’re looking for a hostel in London, use Hostelworld. If you want to stay elsewhere, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates. (Here’s the proof.)

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. I never ever go on a trip without it. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. You should too.

Need Some Gear? Check out our resource page for the best companies to use!

Want More Information on London? Be sure to visit our robust London destination guide on London for even more planning tips!

The post How to Spend a Week in London appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/london-itinerary/

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My secret hideaway: foreign correspondents reveal all

Foreign correspondents know how to get under the skin of a country. But where do they go when they want to get away from it all? Here, well-travelled journalists reveal their ultimate holiday escapes

Afua Hirsch on São Tomé e Principe, Africa

At first I felt critical of the many Africans I spoke to who had never heard of São Tomé e Principe. It is after all an African country, albeit one of the smallest (population 194,000) and remotest an archipelago of tiny islands nestled in the watery armpit of west and central Africa, deep in the Atlantic, with Gabon to the east and Nigeria to the north.

Then I realised how difficult it was to get there. Back then, in 2002, there was one flight a week from Gabon, and one from Lisbon which ferried the children of Portuguese aristocrats to secretive resorts in pristine bays at the foot of volcanos carpeted in the countrys endless virgin rainforest.

I had graduated from university just months before and in my shiny new NGO job chose São Tomé as the location for an international conference I was organising. But getting hundreds of dignitaries there meant chartering planes, training hotel staff and even having new phone cables laid. I arrived exhausted. My VIP guests were in a strop, not because the plane Id chartered looked ripe for the scrap heap, but because it had no business class seats. I was not in the mood to fall in love.

But I did. Id never seen volcanoes so alive with forest or the Atlantic such a seductive, sleepy blue. Ive never felt so close to a history I thought much older no African language is spoken in São Tomé, but, rather a creole version of Portuguese. The inhabitants are all descended from slaves, Portuguese outcasts and Jewish children dumped on the islands hundreds of years ago.

People lived in the ruins of decayed colonial palaces as if the plantation had collapsed the day before. It felt separated at birth from another part of the world the Caribbean or South America with its palatial palms and crumbling façades, ridgeback mountains and Portuguese towns.

But its Africa all right. Billions of barrels of oil have achieved what natural beauty and human charm never did and placed it firmly on the map. The oil workers have been streaming in since São Tomé and I had our first encounter: I hope people seeking Africas greatest beauty will, too.

Fly to São Tomé e Principe from London via Lisbon with TAP Portugal from £457 (flytap.com). Stay at Omali Lodge, doubles from £106 (omalilodge.com) Afua Hirsch is the former West Africa correspondent for the Guardian

Lyse Doucet on New Brunswick, Canada

Good old times: the Acadian historic village of Caraquet in New Brunswick, Canada. Photograph: Philippe Renault/Hemis/Corbis

Ive heard it time and time again. New Brunswick? Oh, I drove through it to get to Nova Scotia. Acadians? Hmm Cajuns? Oh Cajun cooking Music Louisiana!

But New Brunswick in eastern Canada is much more than a place to drive through. And its northeastern coast will not just delight but enlighten you about a people who survived a British colonial expulsion from here in 1755 and returned to establish a vibrant culture and proud sense of self.

The Acadians are the descendants of the French who colonised the region from the 17th century, and if you visit on 15 August, Acadian national day, youll be loudly reminded of that by the tintamarre. At 17.55, on the dot, people dance in the streets, beating pans and blowing horns, to make as much noise as possible to let the world know theyre still here. A dark day in imperial history, when thousands were forced to flee south including to Louisiana, where the term Acadian became Cajun is now a vibrant celebration of survival.

A drive along the winding shore takes you through a picturesque landscape of simple cottages hugging the coastline and rambling farmhouses set back on rolling green fields (except in the freezing depths of winter, when all is snowy white).

Lobster traps and the Acadian flag are ubiquitous a tricolour to honour French ancestry, with a bright yellow star, representing the Stella Maris, the star of the sea, that guides sailors in storms.

To know even more about this charming corner on the sea, visit the Acadian village, a functioning replica of life through the late 18th to the mid-20th centuries. Inside the original wooden houses of the first Acadian families they are carrying on with daily chores, but are never too busy to warmly welcome visitors.

History comes alive in the evening at the elegant LHôtel Château Albert, where you can tuck into an old- fashioned meal while being entertained by a trio of traditional fiddlers. On my last visit there, a female fiddler recounted how she had to practise in secret as a young girl. Fiddling was only for men then.

And do drop by the Doucet farm in the historical village, where you may find them baking bread.

Fly to Moncton from London via Toronto or Montreal with Air Canada from £532 (aircanada.com). Stay at LHôtel Château Albert, doubles from £70 (villagehistoriqueacadien.com) Lyse Doucet is the BBCs chief international correspondent

Ed Vulliamy on Sfântu Gheorghe, Romania

Rowing home: fisherman on the Danube. Photograph: Alamy

The Sfântu Gheorghe arm of the Danube Delta is gratifyingly hard to reach: by ferry from the river port of Mahmudia, which departs between two and five hours late, laden with essential goods that folk in Sfântu Gheorghe on the Black Sea shore cannot buy in their village shop. The boat navigates bends in Europes mightiest river, past oxbow lakes and through newly dug channels. A small crowd makes its way through the mud to the jetty with donkeys to collect the shopping.

There are two cars in Sfântu Gheorghe: one belongs to the policeman, the other to the government environmental officer. During my first visit in 1995, they had crashed and were being repaired.

I frequent Sfântu Gheorghe thanks to an ornithologist friend from Bucharest. His metier along with caviar from local sturgeon is the ostensible reason to be there: a wonder of eagles, egrets, vultures, cranes, ibises, cormorants and pelicans. Fishermen weigh their wares on iron scales in a market that has not changed for centuries. They say that when the sea howls it means a life lost in revenge for mans abuse of the oceans. Sure enough, last time it howled, the bodies of a father and son washed ashore.

One day the ornithologist took me out on the river in his little boat. And there it was: the howl, a heart-stopping scream, and the river heaved. The ornithologists jovial face was suddenly terrified and intense as he gripped the outboard motor to carve a way through the current and driving rain. After 50 minutes of thinking that any of them could be my last, we made it to the bank.

On the night they return, the fishermen gather, after a brief visit home, at the only bar in town: a window cut into a brickwork house. Outside which they sit to drink vodka that comes in bottles the size of a standard beer thats the unit per round, and I confess its tough going.

In keeping with the vulgarisation and invasion by tourism of anything authentic in Romania (as everywhere else), there is now a Green Village Resort in Sfântu Gheorghe: some people on TripAdvisor seem to have had horrendous experiences there, which can only be a good thing.

On one final night in Sfântu Gheorghe, the ornithologist and I were supposed to have gone to bed early, to catch the dawn boat back to Mahmudia, but the captain was dancing on the table, drinking vodka, so there didnt seem to be much hurry.

When the ferry did leave, I was as ever sad to leave with it, into the quickening eastern sky and the brave dawn of newly capitalist, tourist-friendly Romania.

Fly to Bucharest from London with Ryanair from £22.99 (ryanair.com). Mahmudia port is roughly four hours drive, then take the ferry to Sfântu Gheorghe. Stay at the Green Village, doubles from £40 (greenvillage.ro) Ed Vulliamy is a writer for the Guardian and Observer and was was New York correspondent for the Observer and Rome correspondent for the Guardian

Kate Connolly on Hiddensee, Germany

Artists escape: a lighthouse at the Dornbusch on Hiddensee island. Photograph: Heinz Wohner/Getty Images

As a hideaway it could hardly be better named. The island of Hiddensee sits on Germanys north-eastern tip and is one of the countrys sunniest, windiest locations. Despite being just under 11 miles long and, at its broadest point, only two miles wide, even in the height of summer it is surprisingly easy to find a spot in the dunes or in its expansive heathland to escape the daytrippers who arrive en masse from neighbouring Rügen. While to English ears at least its name sounds like a clever reference to its remoteness, it is in fact a nod to the legendary Norwegian king, Hedin, who is believed to have fought here. Whether for a love interest or for gold, opinions are divided, but in any case Hedins Oe or Hedins Island as it was named while under Danish rule has more or less stuck.

In the 1920s the Baltic island was a magnet for intellects and artists. The families of writers Thomas and Heinrich Mann, Günter Grass (whose wife was a Hiddenseer), sculptor Käthe Kollwitz and the Freuds were among the regulars, as was Danish film star Asta Nielsen, who had a playful circular holiday home, the karusel. The Freud connection endures to this day thanks to Esther Freuds 2003 novel The Sea House, which recalls the holidays her great-grandfather Sigmund and his family enjoyed on the island before they and many Hiddensee residents were banned by the Nazis. The family found some sort of solace in the village of Walberswick on the Suffolk coast which, with its grassy sand dunes, large skies and a home they called Hidden House, reminded them of the beloved Baltic island they were forced to forsake.

Ive been coming here regularly for more than a decade, and it has never lost its appeal as an ideal place for escape. It is car-free, with no golf courses and, at around six hours by train and ferry from Berlin, close enough for a long weekend. Aside from swimming, walking and biking, there are three bookshops, a theatre, some pubs and a tent cinema. Otherwise theres little more to do than ask locals to teach you how to fish for pieces of amber after a storm, or literally milk the bright-orange buckthorn berries for their vitamin C-rich juice.

It continues to be a draw for writers and artists, too. Lutz Seilers 2014 novel Kruso, which won the German Book Prize (out in English this year), is set in Hiddensee during the heady days before the fall of the Berlin Wall. Its a poetic tribute to the island as well as offering an insight into life here during the East German dictatorship for those wanting to flee to the west (Denmark is hardly more than an energetic swim away) as well as those who simply sought internal exile amid the wind and the waves from the every day strains of the GDR. Hiddensee has never lost its appeal as an ideal place for escape.

Fly to Berlin from London with EasyJet from £29.49 (easyjet.com). Regular trains are 44 from Berlin (bahn.com) to Stralsund, from there take a ferry to Hiddensee (reederei-hiddensee.de). Stay at Hotel Godewind, doubles from £92 (hotelgodewind.de) Kate Connolly is the Guardian and Observers Berlin correspondent

Peter Beaumont on Hosh Jasmin, West Bank

A table with a view: the patio at Hosh Jasmin overlooking the hills. Photograph: Luke Pyenson

The hills just beyond the outskirts of the Palestinian town of Beit Jala Bethlehems other half, though never say that to a native are a special place. Ancient limestone terraces descend towards Battir and the cool valley of Wadi Refaim, with its fig trees and gazelles. Small apricot orchards hem in the old stone farms that dot the slopes. Just outside the town is where you find Hosh Jasmin, an organic farm and restaurant opened in 2012 by filmmaker, sculptor and restaurateur Mazen Saadeh.

Fifteen minutes drive from the western edge of Jerusalem, Hosh Jasmin is both circumscribed by and defies Israels continuing occupation of the West Bank. Located in Area C, under Israeli security and administrative control, it is reached for us at least through the Walajah checkpoint, passing the Israeli settlement of Har Gilo. The Israeli separation wall is visible from Hosh Jasmin in the distance, a snaking line of grey concrete.

Despite the reminders, it is a place to escape for a while from the continuing violence and tensions, popular with Palestinians from the neighbouring town, Jerusalemites and internationals. Visiting on a blue moon last year, a group of musicians had been assembled. The waiters, encouraging us to stay, suggested if everyone was drunk enough a midnight walk would be initiated. Named for the Syrian-style hosh compounds, tables are set on rough-hewn wooden platforms under the trees, areas designed for sprawling on cushions, although there is a small indoor area for when it rains and a fire pit for the winter chill of the Jerusalem hills. Elsewhere there are hammocks and swing seats.

Below is Saadehs farm, including olives that Hosh Jasmin presses for oil, fruit trees, hives and rabbit runs and the restaurants arak distillery. Its location is a double-edged sword. The lack of building permits for Palestinians in Area C has preserved the areas rustic feel, and it also means that the accommodation Saadeh provides for those who stay beyond when the fire burns down is a treehouse and several tents.

This Christmas those of us in the press corps celebrated lunch outdoors with turkey and Palestinian starters and Taybeh, the Palestinian beer. On other days the food is dictated by the seasons, although there are no actual menus. Specialities include rabbit zarb, a tagine-like dish cooked in an underground oven, Palestinian dumplings and chicken musakhan with flatbread in its rich sauce of onions and sumac served on a flat bread.

For me, the best time is the late afternoon and evening, watching the hills bruise purple into night as the fire starts. Then, Hosh Jasmin is a place to forget for a while at least all of the areas troubles.

Fly to Tel Aviv from London with British Airways from £304 return (ba.com). Eat and camp at Hosh Jasmin organic farm (facebook.com/HoshJas; +972(0)599 868 914), which can be reached from Jerusalem by taxi or hire car (europcar.co.uk). You will need your passport to cross the Walajah checkpoint Peter Beaumont is the Guardians Jerusalem correspondent

Emma Graham-Harrison on the Jalori Pass, India

Touching the sky: a distant view of the mountains from the Jalori Pass near Kullu. Photograph: Getty Images

The sound of cymbals, drums and song followed us the whole morning, across hillsides of wild iris and through deodar forests, the musicians hidden and the music sometimes thinning to silence but always returning again when mountain paths brought us and the mysterious band back within earshot.

We met them at last outside a tea shack on the Jalori Pass, more than 3,000m high, villagers escorting a goddess swathed in gold and scarlet to the Dussehra festival in Kullu town, two days walk away.

She would be jostled and photographed there by thousands of tourists, but we met her almost alone, our paths crossing at just the right moment.

It seemed like serendipity but our guide, Prem Singh Bodh, had known more or less when the group would arrive, after decades hiking trails in this corner of north India.

Friends got to know him while living in Delhi, and had invited me to join them on a 10-day trip to an area that is little visited by tourists, but full of life and natural beauty.

We met pilgrims at ruined hilltop forts that have become windswept temples. Kids raced up to one campsite from the nearest village and convinced us to lose a game of cricket on an impossible slope.

Their teacher was a postgraduate with a taste for Victorian literature Thackeray, Kipling, Dickens who grew up the other side of a nearby peak. We asked why he turned down the chance of a more lucrative city life after graduating. I missed these mountains, he said simply.

Between those meetings, we had the forests, fields and temples to ourselves for hours at a time. We slept in tents on high meadows beside a woodland lake and spent a couple of nights in spartan but charming lodges built for colonial administrators more than a century ago.

We were camping, but it felt luxurious, with air mattresses, ponies to carry gear so we travelled with just a small day pack, and even a cook.

A few bars of coverage would occasionally appear on the phones of people trying to keep in touch with home. But most of us were happy to be out of contact and suspended in time.

It was often surprising, always beautiful and entirely special, and because we arranged the trip directly with Bodhs company, Zingaro, it was a relatively affordable £50 per person per day including tents and lodges, food and guides. We spent nothing else because there was nothing we needed and nothing to buy. Zingaro also arranges trips to higher altitude areas, for those seeking an even more remote getaway.

Fly to Dharamsala (aka Kangra or Gaggal) from London via Delhi with Air India from £495 (airindia.in). Zingaro treks can organise treks across northern India (zingarotreks.com). Ask Zingaro for advice, but they will usually meet you with a 4×4 or minibus at the edge of the mountains Emma Graham-Harrison is international affairs correspondent for the Guardian and Observer and was Afghanistan bureau chief for Thomson Reuters

Matilda Temperley on Kaokoland, Namibia

Under African skies: a young Himba woman. Photograph: Matilda Temperley

Five hundred miles north-east of Windhoek, the dusty town of Opuwo is nestled into the edge of Kaokolands arid hills. The local inhabitants are bare-breasted, clad in goatskin and covered in ochre. These are the Himba. They live alongside Herero women wearing dresses reminiscent of 19th-century German colonialists with hats shaped to resemble cow horns. Unusual characters arrive in this small trading hub to replenish their supplies at the areas only garage and supermarket before disappearing back into the surrounding desert.

Opuwo is the entrance to the remarkable Kaokoland that lies to the east. This is an area so empty and vast you can drive for days without seeing another soul. I picked up a local guide in Opuwo and set off in the 4×4 (complete with camping gear and roof tents) I had rented in Windhoek. Within an hour, a sandy riverbed stalled our progress and throughout the day the roads became ever more dubious. It doesnt take long until you are obliged to stop being precious about your vehicle and surrender to the inevitable punctures, scrapes and scratches and the hundreds of kilometres of unknown terrain that stretch before you. As you drive, red rocks give way to white deserts, plains become mountains and colours evolve with the day.

After two days of driving, we came across the first sign of human habitation and were surprised to see a rusty petrol drum on a rocky outcrop with signs advertising cold drinks and fuel. It turned out the attendant Himba women had nothing to sell and were rather hoping we could give them some food. It was undoubtedly the oddest petrol station Ive ever seen. The occasional villages we then passed were welcoming, perhaps because the Himbas ancestral land rights and autonomy are well recognised and the increasing cultural tourism in the area is largely on their terms.

When I visited last February, the villages were mainly populated with women and children as the men were with the herds looking for pasture. The villages were full of laughter, most of which was at my expense. The fact that I was childless at 33 never failed to cause mirth. In the first village I camped in, I was given a live chicken that they insisted I leave with. At the next village, I was made to dance out stories. There was something magical in being innocently teased in this matriarchal society.

Kaokoland stretches for many hundreds of kilometres from the Hoanib river north to the Kunene river, which is the border with Angola, and one of the least-populated places on earth. In Kaokoland, you cannot fail to marvel at your insignificance. Kaokoland stole my heart on my first foray and I have been looking for an excuse to return ever since.

Fly to Windhoek from London with South African Airways from £615 (flysaa.com). Car rentals from Camping Car Hire (camping-carhire.com). A 4×4 with full camping equipment is available from £45 a day Matilda Temperley is a photographer and writer

Helena Smith on Koufonisia, Greece

Open water: an empty beach on the islands of Koufonisia. Photograph: Alamy

Greece has always been about the light. The shadows lie in its luminosity. For years I have tried to swim into the sun, a days fading rays made sweeter still by waters brush. The quest for light can take you places that you might otherwise never know; beaches you might never see. In the summer of 1984, on a whim propelled by adventure, I holidayed on Naxos, crossed it by bike and got into a little cargo ship that took me to a place that at the time seemed so ethereal, so elemental, so remote, it has remained with me ever since.

That place was Koufonisia, an isle made up of parts upper Koufonisi and lower Koufonisi and over the course of a spring and summer I would come to know both. Before the internet, before mass travel, before Greeks got fat on EU funds, upper Koufonisi had a smattering of white, flat-roofed houses, one fish tavern, one meat tavern, one tourist (a French painter), one road and a girdle of virgin beaches, ornamented by turquoise sea. In the spring its was carpeted with poppies just as Naxos to its west and Amorgos to its east; and in summer covered by herbs carried on a breeze. But although perfect, it was to be trumped by the discovery of lower Koufonisi: uninhabited (bar the odd shepherd), with even bluer seas, better shorelines and a pure light that I swam into with the passing of each day.

Several years later I returned to upper Koufonisi, this time making my home a rented villa looking out to sea on the isles southern extremity. The water was aquamarine, as seductively translucent as it had been all those summers ago, but it was a world away a world discovered by Greeks who had built second homes, Italians who went for the tourist season and beach bars that served cocktails to the dulcet tones of Icelandic composers.

Lower Koufonisi had changed, too: its cave no more (thanks to a landslide), its beaches the preserve of the droves who descended from fishing boats now busily crossing the 200m channel that separated the isle from upper Koufonisi. But the light was still there, the sky and sea co-joined by a brilliance that was unbeatable and blue. And, as I had done all those years before, I swam into the sun at the end of the day, backstroking through the flat blue, eyes fixed on the brilliant skies and the rocks they framed, knowing I had arrived where I had begun, in the magic of Greece.

Fly to Athens from London with British Airways from £104 (ba.com). Blue Star Ferries on the (Athens) Piraeus Amorgos route stop at Koufonisia three times a week (euroferries.com). Sea jets also makes the trip in summer (seajets.gr). Travellers passing through Athens can also book tickets through Grecian travel (grecian.gr) Helena Smith is the Guardians correspondent in Greece, Turkey and Cyprus

Stephen Gibbs on Playa Bacunayagua, Cuba

Crossing the divide: the Puente de Bacunayagua, completed in 1959, takes you to the beaches of Bacunayagua. Photograph: Buena Vista Images/Getty Images

Go to that bar that serves the piña coladas, cross the bridge, then the road to Bacunayagua is on the left. Those were typical driving directions in Cuba in the early 2000s. Then, it was a country without road signs. The reason was never clear. One theory was that every time a sign was put up it was stolen so that its metal could be turned into car parts. Another was that Fidel Castro, determined that the nation remain on a constant military footing, was convinced that road signage would help invaders. It made travelling a challenge. And arriving especially rewarding.

The directions were good enough the first time I went to Bacunayagua in 2005. There were three of us: two Cuban friends, one of whom was a scuba dive instructor, and me. The piña colada stop was memorable. Alongside the road Marco, in a crisp white guayabera shirt, prepared cocktails for thirsty motorists from palm-fresh coconuts, cream and pineapple. He agreed, reluctantly, to go easy on the rum.

After that we crossed the spectacular Puente de Bacunayagua, the tallest bridge in Cuba, completed in 1959. A couple of kilometres later, almost hidden by trees, there on the left was an unmarked, steep concrete road. It dived through a forest towards the sea, bringing us to a complex of run-down 1970s bungalows. In front was the clearest water, framed by an elegant peninsula, and a perfect little hidden beach.

This particular stretch of coastline was also a notorious pick-up point for the cigarette boats that come from Florida and smuggle Cubans back to the US. A few bored young soldiers were there on watch; they were surprised to see us. The offer of a cold drink turned their frowns into smiles. They kept an eye on the car while we explored the pristine waters below.

I returned to Bacunayagua a few weeks ago. A gleaming blue sign now clearly marks that turnoff to the bay. It is as beautiful as ever, but a little noisier. A Cuban family, complete with relatives from Miami, had rented the house the military once occupied. Silence has been replaced by reggaeton.

On the way back to Havana, I stopped at the roadside bar. Marco was still there. Estás perdido, he said to me. That delightful Cuban greeting perhaps best translated as: Where have you been?, offered with equal feeling whether someone hasnt been seen for a few days or a few years. Cuba may be changing, but it still moves at its own pace.

Fly to Havana from London with Virgin Atlantic from £559 (virginatlantic.com). Hire a car using the concierge at one of the bigger hotels, or contact Cuba Diving Now (cubadivingnow.com) to be guided Stephen Gibbs covers Venezuela for Chinese TV and The Economist

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/my-secret-hideaway-foreign-correspondents-reveal-all/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/173213707402