#how can one person be soooo fucking unlucky???

[rickybaby]

Sainz getting away with no penalty for his moment with his teammate yesterday. Stroll getting away with just a 10s penalty after he ended Daniel’s race and heavily affecting Oscar’s. But Daniel getting a 3 PLACE GRID DROP PENALTY for taking back a place he lost under the safety car because stroll wasn’t paying attention?????

[cryleforhelp]

THANK YOU FOR THE K2 FIC RECS... IT MEANS A LOT ... !!!! esp putting so much oh my gosh i'm definitely spamming who you tagged for more fic recs

if it isn't a bother again: do you also have any cryle fic recs or any other ships you like? i know kivea is like. the biggest cryle enthusiast out there

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yesyesyes pls give mumu and mint all da love of fics to ur hearts content!!!!!! KIVEA IS THE HUGEST CRYLE ENTHUSIAST OUT THERE, i would recommend all their works because i think i literally read all of them bc i love their stories so much HAHAH. Kivea if you see this, thank you for your hardwork FORREAL. ALSO it's never a bother, i really love receiving asks!!<33 i primarily sit in the style, k2 and cryle ao3 tab honestly, so i haven't ventured far out from the main three i ship! SO SINCE you asked about cryle, here are some cryle fics that I can recommend below!!

Red Solo Cup | Cryle, Style | T | TW: none author: startwithsnail OK.. THIS FIC IS SOOOO GOOD AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING THAT BC THE AUTHOR WROTE IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY LMFAO BUT LEGIT this fic is everything i envision cryle to be. the pacing, the characterization, the WRITING EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO GOOD. THE ENDING ALSO GAGGED ME I WAS LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET UP IN THE AIR AND SCREAMING AHHAHAHA im so blessed that my really talented friend wrote me this :'(((( what did i ever do to deserve her. HER TUMBLR IS @amporella IF YOU WANNA GO GIVE HER SOME LOVE!!!!!!!!!!1 <333333 SUMMARY: Kyle, notoriously unlucky in love, has his reasons to be hesitant on party games - especially of the romantic variety. He can only really think of one person who dislikes them even more than he does. But maybe there’s something that can make it worthwhile for both of them? I'd Tap That | Cryle | G | TW: none author: alister312 STOOOOOP THIS FIC WAS SO CUTE. Dryad Kyle too, it's such a treat to read HHHHH.. i don't want to spoil this fic for you but you won't be disappointed at all!!!!!! craig is so so adorable in here too <3 BANGER AFTER BANGER!! this was also written by my friend @alister312 if you wanna show them some love too :3c <3 SUMMARY: If only Cartman paid just a little more attention to his familiar, if only Tweek wasn’t being such a child about the break up, if only potions didn’t suck ass and learning it had seemed even a little worth it, if if if—

If only, then Craig wouldn’t be here, crawling ass-backward away from the pissed off dryad floating above him. I Want To Hold You Like You're Mine | Cryle (Side Style) | E | TW: smut author: wonderfultweek i need to tell you that this fic is so good. like oh my god, you can feel the emotional connect both craig and kyle are having with each other here and it's so raw and soft. i will say there's style in the beginning but it's stan cheating on kyle so if that's not your cup of tea then feel free to skip this recommendation!

SUMMARY: But he isn’t sure how much information he really wants to reveal right now, and his emotions are still simmering hot just under the surface of his skin. It’s a dangerous road to go down so soon, but he also wants nothing more than to let out his anger and his hurt in hopes that Craig will validate him.

~

"What the fuck, Craig? How can you sit there and tell me there’s nothing wrong with me when I’m a complete fucking mess?”

“Because I-” Craig stops himself, that guarded look returning. He nearly looks fearful at whatever it is he almost admitted. “I get it. I understand.” When I'm With You, I Don't Want To Be | Cryle | E | TW: smut author: wonderfultweek DSSSSSSSSGSKGJI09EUW4HERJOPLDHE59Y0ERSPFDBJOGF8OILKFFHJGFLDKHJHGKJFDLKJHEEYIROHLKSGDFHSJLFSHJDSFLKHJ. that is all. no, jk, but i am literally rolling around because of this fic, everything in it left me waNTING MORE. I LOVE KYLE AND CRAIG BEING EACH OTHER'S LAST RESORT OK maybe i really am toxic idk /lh SUMMARY: Maybe he’s just disappointed that he doesn’t have someone to sit around and be miserable with. Even if all he and Craig do is bitch at each other, it’s better than sitting here alone, perched on the kitchen counter while he watches everyone have a splendid fucking time. ok this is all i have time to recc KLJDSGLKJSG IF I REMEMBER OR FIND MORE ILL REBLOG THEM HERE. ILY ANON. (...*links kivea's ao3 just in case*)

[angeldigital92]

reading the sentence "dni if you think komaeda hajime is abusive" is the most insane chronic online shit I've ever read honestly holyshit my brother in christ have you eVEN PLAYED THE SAME GAME???????????????????? did that piece of shit did not fucking play the sad shitty victim only to literally shit all over him and ONLY INSULT HIM to a point he pulls The Most Fucked murder investigation that lead to pointing the finger at literally the only person who ever cared abt him AND also someone completely innocent. it's like, some of yall want what madohomu has sooooooo bad you really can't see the nuance of Actually doing anything for someone you Love vs "hi im komaeda pls feel bad for me bc im sick, also I'm soooo untalented sooooo laaame" [later on turns into personal punching bag, humiliates in front of everyone, executes the closest person to you just to prove his point on how UnLuCkY he really is]

no this isn't the same and NO ONE can prove to me komaeda is good he is literally the worst anyway t4t bi4bi hajime chiaki 🥱🥱🥱

[bronzetomatoes]

omg i love monoma as well hes so cool and yes the overlooked characters are great. personally i like the villains more than the students, but your faves are good choices. hawks *is* a fucked up babygirl in all the worst ways... not sure how far youve gotten so i don’t want to spoil but uh, do you know about what happened with best jeanist and hawks? man. for a while there..., before the later manga chapters disproved it, hawks was soooo messed up babygirl.

Also Shigaraki! he is my fave he is my discord profile picture i have written many an analysis about him! *please* tell me your thoughts about him. he only really gets interesting in a little bit of the Overhaul arc and then in the MVA/PLF arc he really shines. pleassse tell me how far along youve gotten in the story so i know what i can and can’t tell you. the shigaraki and midoriya parallels are so strong they make me go crazy. also! i stopped keeping up with bnha at around the big war thingy idk what it’s called with all the heroes and students and whatever, so i don’t know about anything after that

Okay so I'm halfway through season 5 and I don't read the manga, so that's where I'm at. I've had a lot spoiled for me just by nature of getting into a fandom that's been around for 6+ years, yk how it is, so I know a lot about Hawks but honestly not as much about Shigaraki? Honestly whenever I think about him I need to repeat that I Don't Condone Terrorism bc honestly he is. Hes an evil man but in such a sad way. Like it's so sad.

Honestly I think the part that gets me the most about him is that he couldve been anyone. Anyone at all could be Shigaraki Tomura, and Shimura Tenko was just the unlucky one, yknow? And as much as you can say that he made his own choices near the end, he never... knew anything else. If he's been having every awful thing he's done encouraged all his life, than being an evil person is obviously how he's going to turn out. I strongly recommend you (and literally everyone) read Japan v. Shigaraki (2237) SCOJ No. 4401, it's essentially an imagined future trial for him and it fucks me up, like, severely.

And Shigaraki is a lot of things, yeah? He's cold and he's calculating, and he's ruthless with his methods. He seems to flit back and forth with his ideologies (which I'd say is due to the fact that he had to pick a reason behind his villainy rather quickly, compared to the years he spent living that way Solely Because AFO wanted him to). He is a horrendous human being who's done horrendous things and has ruined thousands of lives. I think at his core though, it's such a fucking tragedy. It's sad bro.

[nerice]

coming in with some fresh ocs now that I can look at your site! 🕰️for garvith, 🤕 for shina, 💀 for noah

aaaaaa hello yes!! new oc info coming up i definitely drifted a little in these replies since i wna do justice introducing these guys to you :D!! as always u have impeccable skill in choosing ask game questions<3

🕰️ has there been an event that happened in your OCs past that affects their future or one that they think about still? is this a bad event or a good one? what are a few of their childhood memories they can recall?

extremely :D! abt this one bc it is so so vital to his existence!!! garvith is infact the other half of reina's soul (as in, resulting from the very soul split that broke the entire verse) the original ruler they were split her soul resulting in reina (who retained the original's name and appearance) and garvith, who took the form of a giant white feathered serpent, who didn't take a proper name until a bit later due to nerice getting nuked as consequence n there not having been a lot of time for identity-finding during that mess. immediate post-split reina/garvith is vry fun because they're essentially identical persons(serpents) who share a consciousness soup until they diverge into vastly different personalities over the following centuries of war :3!!! as such garvith's 'childhood memories' are exactly the same as reina's bc they were the same being up to the soul split, which definitely wins out on Important Event He Keeps Thinking About That Shaped His Future like. i do have to stress it's not that garvith is a split-off part of reina but that both reina&garvith as they exist now are divergent paths of the singular true ruler they were before the split!! i love going on endless meta on which aspects of og!reina each of them retained/are expressions of, it's soooo interesting!!!! but a ramble for a different time bc length! :D

plugging the reina/garvith aes tag here tho it's one of my favs <3

🤕 what is the worst injury your OC has ever suffered? do they have any scars or lasting physical reminders of it? do they get sick often or have any lasting medical conditions?

ohboy!!! shina is the lifesong user of lhnh generation making her everyone's favourite field medic (evil) the drawback being that to heal someone she essentially transfers their injuries to herself >:3 she's racked up an impressive scar count that easily beats out gray's habitual mutilation games to the point where there's not many places on her body that are unscarred. her worst scar(s) are the result of trying to save as many people as possible in the aftermath of one of azra's surprise attacks until the lifesong shut down on her (yay for parasitic power that wants to keep its host alive) & to her credit, with experience she learns to mitigate the damage she incurs by diverting e.g. one large injury in many smaller, less severe ones, so long as the total life force given balances out it works! descendant resilience keeps her from suffering too hard a long-term damage (everything heals eventually) also just general unrelated but vital fun fact im tacking on at the end: she absolutely fucking hates descendants and her war duty and while she will not let anyone die she is also always a second away from murdering people in cold blood, has stopped hearts in sincere threat, and despises reina with a passion. shina's only buddy is a guy by the name of irias who also keeps a pet blood demon which further dampens how much dmg she has to take for her job where she can just infuse its generated blood with her life force to heal people and then pass the fuck out. she's a lot

💀 has your OC ever lost anyone to death? multiple people? people close to them? how does the loss make them feel?

FUNNILY ENOUGH noah has never lost anyone to death (not on main anyway. avery dies a couple times, but that's Complicated lol) HOWEVER noah is notoriously unlucky in just. getting fucking betrayed to the point of the other person being dead to him/having to kill them which is just. extremely tragic how it keeps happening im laughing (crying) rn fucking f. heres an abridged list:

damia whom he technically betrays first when he allies with reina and leaves damia stuck at the bottom of the ocean. they have a cute deathmatch abt it in dream game

maheloas switches to azra's side and noah spends much of the rest of the war hunting him down/keeping him in check during battles

garvith, who ultimately flees the war during a critical encounter with azra (which also almost kills reina. oops) & that fucks noah up even more since he n garvith were kind of an item (in their own dragon/serpent way. advanced qpr)

noah's entire fucking drama revolves around a self-sustaining cycle of toxic loyalty and betrayal (where his own betrayal of damia is at the core) and he copes with what he did thru his unwavering loyalty to reina to his own and everyone else's detriment h.

-

these were very fun so if anyone wants to send me more!! pls!!!! (oc page linked in description etc) uwwwwwu

[creativeskullcreations]

A FEW MORE DETAILS for the Strip Club AU (before I do the Origin Thing)

Soooo I just thought of some important details that have to do with the Strip Club AU, so my origin thing will be in my next submission.

Since I have nothing else to say, let’s dive right in!

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

For some reason, in my previous submission I said “Uzi encompasses her desire for endless sex as well as her submission kink.” when I MEANT to say, “Rae encompasses Uzi’s desire for endless sex as well as her submission kink.” Just wanted to correct that little detail first

Good for clarifying that.

The Silver Strip is split into two parts. The first part is the entrance, which doesn’t include anything overly sexual as to not traumatize any children who wander in during the day out of curiosity. The second part is the club itself, which has a strip area above ground, and a brothel below

V, N and J have known each other since childhood. V and N were always the closest, and dated even before they joined the Strip, while J was content to just be the Mom Friend everyone came to when they wanted to get something off their chest, even though she had a wide array of issues herself that she didn’t talk about for a long time. At least, until S showed up in her life

Aw, Mom Friend J is one I haven't seen before. It does make sense, though, in a way.

The Silver Strip has the vibe of a giant rave. Neon lighting everywhere including the stages and poles, loud music, and small crowds dancing to the music. In the brothel portion, the dancing can sometimes get a bit more…physical, if ya know what I mean ;)

Every five years, around New Year’s Eve, the Silver Strip holds something called the Club’s Climax. To put it in its simplest terms, which is its only terms, the Club’s Climax is a giant orgy among the dancers and brothel staff, and even the bar staff should they choose to participate. It also means one lucky (or unlucky) staff member is chosen to be at the center of the affections. It isn’t mandatory of course, and staff can choose not to join in, but most of the staff chooses to cuz, like I said in a previous submission, they’re horny robots. And considering how many drones work the in strip, it’s a very, very pleasurable experience for everyone involved

With that said, Uzi once got chosen to be at the center of the Club’s Climax once. The pleasure was so extreme that she passed out a few times and, very almost, blue screened. And she considers it the best night of her fucking life

GOD THIS IS SO NSFW

Have you seen the fics I write? Lol.

Thad and Uzi aren’t in a relationship, though they do have some feelings for each other. Nothing too serious, really

Most dancers in the Silver Strip use neon paint on their body that glows in the dark. Uzi V and N are three of these dancers. It’s nothing too over the top, just a bunch of painted lines over their bodies

That would honestly look really cool. Might try and draw that later.

J acts as Vera’s errand girl when she’s not working the bar. Sometimes she’ll help smuggle guns to the more dangerous parts of Haven, other times she’ll help with protection. But most of the time, if she’s out of the club, it most likely means she’s sending a message to a gang that fucked up

The center of The Alleys has two settings. In the night, it’s a giant party where people dance till dawn, and these parties can get so extreme, that some groups of people start fucking in public. During the day however, it’s quiet, as everyone is asleep by then. It could even be called peaceful

The Silver Strip has a secretary at the front desk named Caroline. She’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet, and also the most sassy. She takes calls, does the paperwork, works during the day and makes sure Maia doesn’t wander into the main club to protect her innocence

Oh yeah, Maia’s here too, by the way. Sometimes Uzi N and V, and sometimes even J and S, visit her Thad at their home. She is blissfully unaware of what their jobs actually are and sometimes goes to The Alleys without Thad’s permission during the day. She’s tried to sneak into the Silver Strip twice out of curiosity, but to no avail. She’ll get in there someday front desk lady!

Maia would be so confused over why, though. She knows what sex, or at least the pleasure programming, is from her mom's books. But she doesn't have any in depth knowledge of it beyond the technical aspects. So she's used that as an argument, but Caroline's still called Thad to come get her.

The center of The Alleys, at night, is basically a giant party, with everyone dancing to loud music, and gets so extreme, that some people fuck in public. It’s not like that during the day, though, as most people are asleep during the day. It can even be called peaceful.

The Silver Strip has a secret warehouse connected to the lowest part of the brothel that contains medical kits, bombs, molotovs, and any type of firearm that can think of. It serves as the armory for Vera and the rest of her gang

Nice, weapons. Would Uzi's rail-gun be in there, or does that not exist in this AU?

Haven is full of gangs. Big and small, strong and weak, old and new. Some are smart and cunning, while others are reckless and go for the kill. But they all share one rule: Do not fuck with Vera. Cuz she’ll fuck with you in turn. And you don’t want Vera to fuck with you. Vera has…a reputation, to say the least.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

And now, with this submission out of the way, I can finally begin working on the origin thing!

Stay tuned!

Can't wait for that!

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Neither of them said anything for a long minute. Murky water dripping carelessly into a puddle somewhere. 

Asivus looked Astor up and down, taking him in. He then nodded, before kicking his legs back out and resting his arms behind his head, resuming his entertainment of staring at the wall. This time he put on the smile.

“Welp! I was kinda hoping a couple decades imprisonment would do the trick, but execution is fine too, I guess. Swiftness and punctuality and all that.” He let out a fake yawn. “Though you’re wasting your time if you’re looking to give a prayer. I intend to go out without asking the gods for anything.”

“I’m not a priest.” Astor said bluntly.

Siv cocked an eyebrow. “Uh…...n...nun—?”

“What happened to you, Assivus?” 

“Ahhhh…And interrogation…” He nodded up and down again. “Then I’ll tell you what I told the other guy—you can goooooooo suck my dick.”

Siv turned to the side, fiddling with something metal in his right pocket, the rattling echoing on the stone floor.  He finally pulled out an old flask, shaking it back and for, the sound revealing a little less than a third of alcohol left in the container. He shook it again and looked at the seer. 

“Snuck this bad boy in, earlier! I know my way around a pat down or two, heheh…” He took a swig before gesturing towards Astor again. “How ‘bout you, choir man? Got any sorrows to drown?”

“A kind offer, but I actually value my health,” he replied. “You got any other contraband keeping you company, then?”

He tensed, but recovered so quickly Astor nearly thought he imagined it. Asivus then let out a laugh before taking another drink and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand—which despite the grime, was probably the cleanest part of his person. 

“So they took the nearest homeless looking pal and sent them down to ask me shit...that’s certainly new.” He studied the seer again. “What? We supposed to bond over our greasy hair? Lack of fashion?” Another beat of silence. “...I’ll admit, it’s working a bit!” He laughed, leaning back against the wall. 

Astor sighed silently, before cutting to the chase. “You’re being charged with manslaughter—the rampaging Guardian that destroyed part of the castle. But I know it wasn’t you.” Water dripped in the back end of the cell. “I want you to tell me about the malice.”

One of the cells down the corridor rattled, some Lizalfo shifting in it’s sleep. The echoing metal left a sense of unease in the air. 

“Listen…” Assivus’s voice dropped to a dangerously quiet tone. “I’m not looking for a defense attorney, and I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. So you should probably get on your way before you miss your sermon.” He glared at Astor, blue eyes seemingly a shade darker. 

“There were timelines where the world ends today, you know.” He stepped closer to the cell bars. “The princess far too weak to awaken her powers, the Calamity having grown just strong enough to erupt around the castle, infecting stone and flesh alike.” 

“Well whatareya doing here, then, Mr. Doomsday?” Assivus cocked his head to the side. “If the world’s supposed to end, shouldn’t you be...out there? Maybe holding an ‘End is Nigh’ sign or something?”

“It doesn’t end for us, though. I’ve spent my life studying the endeavours and feats that await this world and the next. We’ve luckily still got a few years before hell starts to walk.” Astor stepped closer again, unwavering to Assivus’ gaze. “I’m merely curious about how your little disturbance—or perhaps, failure of a disturbance—coincides with the Calamity’s potential return.”

“I fucked with some Sheikah Tech. Guardian got funky. Brat nephew saves the day. I get arrested. Don’t remember running into any ancient evils on this little joy ride.”   

“You and I both know the official report is made-up bullshit. I imagine your spite is derived from the unfairness of the situation.” He tucked his hair behind his ears. “Guardians can’t be corrupted through mechanical means. They’re forces crafted to take on ancient magical forces, and as such are engrained with magical components. They don’t just break out into violence over a broken gear, much less be purposefully made to go against their ancient purposes.” He scoffed at the smirk on Asivus’ face. “Especially not by some idiot like you.” Asivus placed a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended. 

“In addition,” Astor continued, “I imagine your father didn’t have purple and gold slitted eyes. So that trait you occasionally have is certainly suspect.”

Assivus blinked, and the creeping colors in his eyes faded along with his confident smirk. He rubbed his blue eyes and sighed. 

“Hey well that’s just rude,” Siv said, playfully. “Maybe I got it from my mom.”

Astor clicked his tongue, before clenching his jaw.

“Welp, you’re certainly a smarter cookie than I gave you credit for, purple man.” Asivus crossed his legs—criss-cross-applesauce—and turned completely too Astor. “But the fact of the matter is, I don’t really care anymore. And I don’t know why you care. Knowing doesn’t change anything for your little predictions, does it?”

The prophet’s face remained unreadable. Siv started scratching his head. “You know I do remember you now...I’ve seen you around. You used to pester the Dick-Rhoam a bunch. Walking around with your little maps and star charts or whatever...yeah, yeah. The weirdo that would tell the rich bastards around here that they were useless. Very bitter insults, I respect it! Suppose some heroes wear robes over capes.”

“It’s not about insults, it’s the truth.” Astor narrowed his eyes. “I’m trying to help you, but rest assured, we all are doomed to be consumed by the Calamity.”

There was silence between them again, but the slight smile on Siv’s face didn’t fade.

“You know, this whole dark and edgy doomsday act is great and all, don’t get me wrong. But since it’s just us alone here there’s no need to keep up the act. I mean, I’m pretty sure I saw you left that anonymous gift of exotic bird encyclopedias in Larc’s office last year.” Astor’s jaw tightened and Siv winked. “And I know because he claimed he saw me leave it—and I don’t buy books, ever. Might wanna change your wardrobe, you wouldn’t wanna be confused as the homeless orator—”

“The Malice.” The seer cut in. “How’d you get it?”

“Ah, it all started when I was born in Rauru Settlement to Lord Ligero Arist—”

“I mean how did you manifest it?” He articulated.  “Everyone has malice, yes. But it takes something else to make it a physical power. Much less enough to infect Sheikah Technology.”

Asivus tapped his chin for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders. “Can’t I just perish in peace? The ol’ axe seems for sharper conversation.”

“Look, I just want...I want to…” Astor shook his head, restarting. “Any information I get is something I can use to make our future demise just slightly more bearable for whatever unlucky generation lives. Don’t you care about that?”

“Nope! Got no kids. Larc and his brats either didn’t care to look at me, or Larc’s too much of a spineless brother to care about me over the rules. Soooo, I’m all for looking out for me, myself, and I, thank you very much.” He tapped his foot against the stone floor. “Plus, I had an ex that used his kids to scam me of 6k rupees in a pocket monster match a while back, so I’m still recovering from that.” 

“Can I trade you then? What do you want? If I come back here with a good wine, will your lips loosen?” Astor was already mentally planning who he could buy a bottle from without a paper trail, already expecting Siv to say yes.

Water continued to drip and drip and drip. Asivus sighed.

“...Nah.” Astor raised an eyebrow. “I’m good...you can’t get what I want, anyhow…”

The seer looked at him for a long moment. Siv had gone back to staring into blank space, deep in thought about something that had caused his smirk to fade.

Let’s see...What would a dead man value? He’s got a rough relationship with his family, he’s got no friends, he’s tainted by a crime of his past…

“Are you interested in the past?” The prophet finally asked. “I know stuff about your mother. If the material doesn’t mean much to a dead man, then I’m all for a trade of information.”

Siv’s eyes suddenly shot up, specks of gold appeared in his pupils before disappearing.

“Wh..*What...?*”

“I’ll start. We’ll both trade details bit by bit, alright?” It was his turn to smirk at the look on Asivus’ face. 

“I’m a bastard child.”

Asivus scrunched his eyebrows. “The fuck does that have to do with my…” His eyes suddenly widened, his mouth opening and closing. He quickly checked his flask to see how much was left, and took a swig. He stared back at Astor. “Explains a bit but...What the actual fuck.”

“Her name was Serenity. Serenity Lior Astor, from Deya Village. There, I think that’s adequate, yes?” Astor gestured down to him. “Your turn.”

Asivus scratched his chin, before standing. He drank the rest of his flask, before dropping it to the ground. “How’d she die?”

“Your father is Lord Ligero. You know how this game works.”

Siv bit his lip, for a moment, before shrugging. Suddenly, purple started to creep at the edges of his eyes, pupils thinning to gold.

“OK, magic man. But don’t be a snitch, alright?” Assivus raised one of his hands open in the air, and for a moment, Astor wondered if he was supposed to take it in a weird sideways handshake. 

Then, the air swirled, a sensation of mixed euphoria and misery tainting the corridor. Cell occupants were rustling.

A glow of magenta swirled up Assivus’ forearm, before swirling in an orb hovering over his palm. The sound of it forming was like the thick, suffocating scream of hot metal as a smith plunges it into water.

The malice left as quick as it came, and hovering in Assivus’ palm was a strange, and beautiful astrolabe. It’s alluring faint glow nearly made him reach out between the bars to touch it.

“Your turn.”

[roman-writing]

A Study in Hospitality (3/?)

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses / Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Pairing: Hilda Valentine Goneril / Marianne von Edmund

Rating: T

Wordcount: 7,657

Summary: There’s a new student at camp half-blood. Hilda, daughter of Aphrodite, has been tasked with showing her around. A Percy Jackson and the Olympians AU

read it below the cut, or you can read it here on AO3

Hilda had a weird dream. Weirder than usual, that is.  

Normally, there would be flying, or all of her hair and teeth falling out, or being rushed to an event but not being able to find anything in her closet except piles upon piles of Doc Martens. You know. Nightmares. The fuzzy, barely half-remembered kind which she awoke from with a grumbled "- the hell?"

This dream had no fuzzy edges. It was crystal clear, like seeing through a fisheye lens. There was a vaulted stone crypt with an altar shaped like an empty bed, but there were no windows or doors along the walls. She stood in the middle of the room, and every breath was an icy mist, pale clouds from her mouth that faded into nothing. 

Hilda shivered. She blinked, and her mother loomed over her. Aphrodite was ten feet tall and utterly inhuman, with eyes like a meadow in spring. She was draped in a pale lilac dress that shimmered when she moved. 

"Tell me, darling," she murmured, and placed her hands upon Hilda's shoulders. Hilda had never felt so dwarfed in her entire life as she did in that moment. "How would you like to die?"

"What?" said Hilda, the single word accompanied by a plume of lung-warm mist. 

And then Aphrodite's hands were around her throat. She squeezed, and Hilda choked. Reaching up, Hilda tugged at her mother's wrists, but no amount of demigod strength could hope to contend with the real deal. 

"My little girl," Aphrodite smiled, and she sounded so soft, her hands like cold dark iron. "Off to be a big hero."

Hilda kicked her feet. She did not know when she had been lifted off the floor, until suddenly the ground was no longer beneath her, and her legs dangled. She gasped for air. Her head swam.

Her mother's voice was a whisper at her ear now. A golden curl of Aphrodite's hair brushed against Hilda's cheek. "Just remember: don't -"

Something knocked against the bed, and Hilda wrenched awake with a wheeze. Her vision still reeled. She clutched at her chest. In the middle of the night, she had tangled herself up in the blankets. Now, she kicked herself free. 

"Yo, wake up already," Sylvain said. He leaned a shoulder against one of the posts that held her bunk bed aloft. "Lorenz told me to tell you that this week's chores list are on the corkboard by the door."

Finally rid of the sheets, Hilda sank back down to her bed. Her heart was still racing. "Thank you," she gasped.

At that, Sylvain's eyebrows rose. "Thank you?" he repeated, incredulous. "Are you sure you're feeling okay there, Hilda? I think the last time you said 'thank you' to me when we traded duties for a week so you could get to second base with that blue-haired kid from Ares cabin."

Closing her eyes, Hida inhaled a deep breath. Air had never tasted so sweet. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just -" 

She waved at him to leave her alone. He shrugged, and sauntered off without another word. 

Dreams with gods weren't exactly uncommon, but Hilda was hard-pressed to remember the last time she'd had one. Most gods took a general disinterest in their half-mortal children. Aphrodite was no exception. Hell, Hida had only ever met her mother in person three times before, and that was considered a rarity even amongst this crowd. Most demigods were lucky to meet their divine parent once in their entire lives. Or unlucky, depending on the circumstances. 

Hilda had always considered herself fortunate to be so favoured. Being the favoured kid -- along with Holst -- had always been something to flaunt. After that dream however, she wasn’t sure she wanted to see dear old mom again any time soon. Even if it was just a dream. 

Which, of course it was. Just a dream. Just a really weird dream. 

With a groan, Hilda clambered out of bed. She yawned, and rubbed at her eyes as she dragged her feet over to the line of self-contained bathroom cubicles at the far end of the cabin. She shut and locked the door behind her. She already had her toothbrush in her mouth, when she caught sight of herself in the mirror, and froze. 

Her eyes widened. Toothbrush still sticking from the side of her mouth, Hilda leaned forward to more closely inspect her reflection.  

There were bruises at her throat. 

--

The bruises mostly vanished before breakfast. Being a demigod had its perks, like quick healing. But the bruises still managed to freak Hilda out in the meantime. 

Seriously. What the hell? Being a demigod was supposed to be about being near indestructible, having cool powers, and doing backflips with swords. Not whatever the fuck this was.

Before she could even reach the dining pavilion however, Hilda was assailed en route.

"Hey! Hilda! Wait up!"

She turned, irritated. The dining pavilion was close enough that she could smell breakfast. Plus, she'd had a pretty shit morning, all things considered. She wanted food.

"What now?" Hilda asked.

Claude jogged up to her. His usual bow was disguised as a garishly coloured headband. Somehow, he managed to make it work; he had enough confidence to pull off even the most outrageous outfits. If Hilda hadn’t known better, she might have thought they were partly related.

He stopped at a comfortable distance from her. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Proving that it can even happen to the best of us." Hilda made a 'hurry up' motion with her hand. "Now, what's up? My stomach is angry today, so make it snappy."

If anything, Claude took on a more relaxed air. "Far be it from me to come between you and a meal. But I'll be quick. It's about Marianne -"

Hilda rolled her eyes. "Gods, not this again."

"Just hear me out." Claude raised his hands and then made a gesture as though parting a curtain for a grand finale. "Poseidon's daughter."

"Really?" Hilda said, her tone flat and completely unimpressed.

"Oh, c'mon! Think about it." He began to tick off items on his fingers. "Causes earthquakes. Loves horses. Suspiciously avoids going into water around others. The trident on the coin you were telling me about."

"A weird broken trident," Hilda corrected.

"Right. A trident. Also, you've got a lot of hickeys on your neck, just so you know."

Even the mention of the bruises fading at her throat made Hilda's blood run cold. She lifted the collar of her shirt, and grumbled, "Yeah. Thanks."

"I thought you weren't seeing anyone right now? The only person I ever see you hanging around with these days is -" And then Claude's eyes widened. "You're canoodling with the new girl?"

At that, Hilda let out a snort of laughter. It was so utterly ridiculous an idea, that it drove the recent memory of her nightmare right from her mind. She clapped him on the shoulder, and hung on as she continued to laugh. "Okay. Thank you. Really. I needed a good laugh."

"Well, if it's not her, then who is it?" Claude's mouth widened into a smirk. "I do see you being cornered by Seteth an awful lot. That would explain things."

Hilda shoved at his shoulder. "Ew! Gross! As if!"

He still managed to take the time to pat her on the back in a manner that was both friendly and patronising at the same time. It made her think of her brother. "It's okay. I get it. He's got the hot dad thing going for him. Some people are into that."

"Okay. I'm leaving," Hilda huffed, and -- true to her word -- spun around in her heel and marched off, nose in the air.

Claude called after her, "Just think about what I said! About Poseidon! And dad bods!!"

"No, thank you!" Hilda waved over her shoulder without looked back, then pushed past one of the draped banners that hung between the pillars of the pavilion.

The pavilion had no official entrances. Shaped like an ancient temple without walls, it could be entered on any side that had a gap between the pillars. The campers within were shielded from the elements by a mixture of magic and long lengths of cloth, each bearing the colours and emblems of the various gods and goddesses represented at the camp. When Hilda passed beneath the banner of Aphrodite, she could smell myrtle in spring, and feel the brush of dove's wings against her skin.

It was early enough in the morning that there were still quite a few people seated at their respective tables. That in and of itself earned Hilda a few curious turned heads and waves in her direction. Normally, she didn't wander into the dining pavilion until the very last second. She would laze around in bed, and then use a late breakfast as an excuse to stave off chores for as long as possible. 

Now, she waved back at one or two people. On the walk over to the Aphrodite table however, she paused. Lysithea was just finishing up scraping leftovers into the central brazier. The coals spat and popped, but nothing more. Just as Lysithea was setting down her plate and making to leave the pavilion, Hilda stepped in her path. 

"Good morning, Lysithea!" Hilda said, far more peppy than she actually felt, but needs must. "Aren't you looking scholarly today!"

Lysithea arched an eyebrow down at her. She was the youngest in their age bracket, but she was still taller than Hilda, which irritated Hilda to no end. "What do you want?"

Hilda tried for a look of wide-eyed innocence. "Do I need to want something from you? Can't a girl just be nice and say hello? And maybe flirt shamelessly a little?"

"I already have a girlfriend. So, I'm not interested. Thanks." And with that, Lysithea started walking away.

Hilda had to scamper to get back into her path and stop her from going too far. "Okay, okay!" Hilda said, her voice dropping back to its usual timbre. "I may have been hoping to ask you a few questions. But it's because you're soooo smart, and I was just wanting your opinion on something that's been bugging me lately."

Lysithea only squinted in reply.

"You don't belive me?" Hilda asked. And, okay, so maybe she added a little breathless quality to her voice. Some habits are hard to break, alright?

"No."

"Well, don't worry. You're very cute, but you and Edelgard are safe from my many charms."

Sighing, Lysithea checked her watch, which was turned inwards to her wrist. "You have three minutes. Don't waste them."

"Right. To business, then." Hilda squared her shoulders, and cleared her throat. Her voice dropped another note or two, until it more closely resembled comfortable, unaffected speaking range. Also so that other people couldn't overhear. "You know the new girl? In Demeter Cabin?"

"I know of her," Lysithea replied. She crossed her arms, already tapping her fingers. 

"Doesn't it seem strange? That she's in Demeter Cabin, I mean. She's not like any other Demeter kid I've ever met before."

"Not everything about the gods and their half-mortal children are as they seem to be," Lysithea said. "You, yourself, for instance seem the epitome of any child of Aphrodite, but people would be foolish to assume you are without cunning."

"Aww, I thought you said no flirting?" Hilda made sure her grin had a flash of dimples. 

At that, Lysithea's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, but her glare could cut glass. "Unless you want me to hex you three ways to Sunday, I suggest you continue with your line of questioning. Promptly."

“Geesh! You’re no fun!” Hilda made a face, sticking out her tongue. “Okay. Forreal, though, after that whole earthquake thing, I saw her talking to an owl, and I thought she might be, y'know, inclined towards your family.”

“That’s it? An owl?”

“Well, she can also use weird magic, too! Like you!”

Lysithea rolled her eyes. “Yes, because there is no variation of the skills within my half-siblings, whatsoever.” 

“Listen,” Hilda used her very best brook-no-nonsense tone, which was very no-nonsense-brooking to be honest. “She was talking with an owl. And I just want some answers. Don’t you want to know, too? I know you know that something’s weird here. And I know you know that I know that you like knowing things.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lysithea sighed. “Not all gods have sacred birds. Obviously some of them do. But also some of them have very similar sacred birds. Hestia and Dionysus, for example, with the turtle-dove and dove respectively.”

“Yeah. Okay. But -”

Before Hilda could continue to pepper her with questions, Lysithea interrupted, “Are you sure she was actually talking to the owl?”

Hilda bristled. “I know what I saw!”

“I’m just offering up potential solutions to your problem. Maybe she was just talking to herself, and the owl happened to be there.”

“Both times? When I saw it, and when Raphael saw it?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think that’s too much of a coincidence?”

“No.”

“Not even just a teensy little bit?” Hilda held up her thumb and forefinger a hair’s breadth apart.

The muscles of Lysithea’s jaw bunched up. “No. Now, unless you have anymore questions -” 

“Well actually, I’m so glad you said that, because this paper Manuela gave us on the transformation of demigods into mythological Heroes is really tough, and I was hoping you’d explain to me how the god parent in question chooses their heirs to become -”

“Great. Bye.” Lysithea turned on her heel and stalked off before Hilda could squeeze another word in edgewise. 

“Hey! Wait!! Lysithea!” Hilda let her hand drop when it became imminently clear that Lysithea was not going to turn back around under any circumstances, short of a portal to Hell rupturing the earth in twain. Which was a shame, really. Hilda was actually curious about the answer to that question.

Sighing, Hilda shoved her hands into the pockets of her shorts, and blinked in surprise. There was a piece of paper rustling against her fingertips. She pulled it out, curious as to what she had left in her pocket -- she didn't recall leaving anything in there. When she pulled it out and unfolded it however, she made a noise of exasperation. 

Claude's cramped handwriting read: 'find out more about our mystery girl. ps - give the Poseidon thing a chance. you know I'm right.'

Hilda threw the piece of paper towards the lake. It fluttered in the breeze, and landed against her shin. In a fit of frustration, she picked it up, crumpled it into a ball, and then chucked it again. This time it very satisfyingly landed into the lake, and sank beneath the surface of the water. 

When had he even managed to sneak that note into her pocket? It must've happened when they spoke this morning before breakfast. Bastard. 

Not that Claude didn't have a point. Poseidon did seem to be a good bet. Something about the idea didn't sit quite right in Hilda's mind, though. Then again, she had never met a child of one of the Big Three gods. So, maybe Claude's theory had merit. 

Midway through the week however, it became more and more evident that the last thing Marianne needed was scrutiny. She needed socialisation. At the very least she needed a hug. Though, Hilda was ninety-seven percent sure that Marianne would sooner crawl out of her own skin than let someone give her a hug. 

As usual, the two of them were forced to team together for chores throughout the week. On top of that, this week was all about paired activities. About having a buddy, and doing lessons and things with them. Things like: climbing a hundred foot wall in less than two minutes while your partner belayed for you, and canoeing in paired races across the lake, and sparring until either a) their muscles turned to mush, or b) first blood. 

You know. Good wholesome camp stuff.

The first day’s activity Hilda was sure they would win. She knew for a fact that some of the Athena and Ares kids had a deadly fear of heights, but Ingrid took the cake in that exercise, beating the rest of them by a good fifteen feet. The second day’s activity they also lost, which meant that Claude's Poseidon theory was looking thin. Hilda made silent faces at Claude across the beach until he shook his head and mimed a response at her. 

And the activity on the third day ended with Hilda moaning about being too delicate for this kind of strenuous exercise in the middle of the afternoon. It didn't matter that Marianne kept losing their sparring match on purpose, or that there was still a jagged patch of grey rock in the ground where the arena had been repaired earlier in the week. 

By the middle of the sparring lesson, Hilda leaned against her axe, and frowned. "Are you even trying?"

Marianne held her Celestial bronze sword loosely in one hand. Her form was atrocious, but in a way that belied an underlying understanding of swordsmanship itself. Only someone well-trained in the art could do something that terrible. It had to be on purpose.

"What do you mean?"

With one hand, Hilda pushed her sweaty bangs out of her face. "Well, you obviously know how to use that," she said, pointing towards the sword. "But you pretend that you don't. Are you trying to make me feel better by letting me win, or something?"

"No," Marianne mumbled.

"Because, trust me, my ego can take it. It's totally fine."

Marianne's fingers tightened into a fist around the sword hilt. "I never doubted that."

"So, what's the big deal?"

"You underestimate yourself," Marianne said. "You're very strong."

"Thanks. I know. Which is why you shouldn't feel like you need to hold back so much." Hilda lowered her voice slightly. "Didn't we talk about this in the woods the other day? I told you, I'm not made of glass. None of us here are. You're among people like you now, remember?"

Still, Marianne dropped her eyes and refused to meet Hilda's gaze. She nodded in silence, but said nothing. 

Hilda hefted her axe to her shoulder, shrugging against the weight as though the heavy Celestial bronze were as light as paper. "Well, come on, then. Hit me with your best shot." She said it in a sing-song tone, and bent her knees slightly as though in anticipation for a blow.

Marianne swallowed nervously. "I don't -" she started to say, but stopped. Her tongue darted out to wet her lower lip, before she continued, "I don't like hurting people."

"Who said I was going to get hurt, huh?"

After a long pause, Marianne lifted her sword once more. It was a half-hearted attempt at coming en garde, but at least her form was correct this time. Hilda used the flat of her axe to swat Marianne's sword aside. It did not fall from Marianne's hand, but it did leave her wide open for an attack. 

Hilda advanced a step forward, forcing Marianne to take a step back in order to keep distance. "Don't be like that. Hit me back. Make me work for it."

Rather than raise her sword, Marianne continued to retreat while Hilda walked towards her. "I thought you didn't like to work."

"Yeah, but there's something about you that makes me think putting in the effort isn't so bad."

Marianne blinked. "Why?"

"I don't know. It's weird. You’re weird. I kind of like it." Hilda shrugged, and swung her axe again. 

With movements sinuous as a shadow's Marianne slipped out of Hilda's range, easily dodging the blow. Her sword still hung at her side, held loosely in her hand. They were starting to circle around the other pairs of sparring partners now, moving to avoid anyone. Hilda darted forward, swiping at Marianne with her axe, attack after slashing attack, all of which met nothing but air. 

"You know," Hilda said, "Not all confrontation is bad. Sometimes sucking it up, and facing someone down really does make life materially better.” 

“I think you and I have had very different life experiences,” said Marianne. 

After basically chasing Marianne all the way around the area twice, Hilda could feel the sweat beginning to collect dust and grime from the arena. In stark contrast, Marianne hardly looked like she had done anything more than take a leisurely stroll. Her dark eyes were steady and unblinking, reading Hilda’s every movement with the familiarity of someone who had seen years of combat training. 

They had amassed a bit of a crowd. Some of the other campers had stopped their own sparring to watch. Hilda continued to chat casually, even as she swung her axe at Marianne, knowing that her attack would be dodged yet again.

"Have you considered a haircut?" 

Marianne stepped to the side, and circled around Hilda, forcing her to flail her axe in a broad horizontal sweep for the follow up attack. "No. Why?"

"No reason. I just think it would look good on you, is all."

"I like my hair long."

"That's fine. You can keep it long. I'm just thinking a trim. Your bangs are hiding your eyes. Bangs are supposed to be a framing device for your face! Not hide it!"

With a thoughtful hum, Marianne actually parried with her blade, but did not counter attack. "I'm not sure."

"I can show you later, if you want?" Hilda offered, while bringing her axe down so hard it buried itself into the arena floor. She had to tug it free with a grunt. "I think you'd look really cute."

"Oh. Well, I don't know about that." Marianne dodged the attempt at flattery with as much skill as she dodged everything else. 

"Do I look like I don't know what I'm talking about?"

"No. I think you look very stylish."

"Exactly. Which is why you should totally let me give you a makeover one of these days."

"Hmm," said Marianne dubiously. 

"That wasn't a 'no'," Hilda pointed out. She shortened her grip upon her axe to make smaller more controlled movements with it, none of which connected. "Tell you what. Let's play a game. If I can land a hit, then I give you a makeover. And if you disarm me, then you can -- I don't know -- push me into the lake."

"I don't want to push you into the lake."

"Then, what do you want?"

For a moment Marianne mulled that over. She tapped the flat of her sword against her thigh. "Sorbet."

Hilda grinned. "Deal!"

Marianne nodded, and agreed in a far softer tone, "Deal."

This time, when Hilda swung her axe, she feinted. She twisted her shoulders one direction, then changed her footing at the last second so she could bring her axe down to exactly where Marianne had moved. Except this time, Marianne's sword arced up in a gleam of bronze, expertly guided into the groove between axe and handle, so that when Marianne flicked her wrist with a twist, it wrenched the axe handle from Hilda's hands. 

Or at least, it would have, had Hilda not hung on to the axe for dear life. 

Eyes wide in surprise, Hilda stumbled forward. Faster than even the semi-immortal eye could follow, Marianne reached forward with her spare hand, grabbed the long-handled hilt of the axe above Hilda's own grip, and yanked. At the same time, she delicately planted her foot into the middle of Hilda's chest, and pushed. 

The next thing Hilda knew, the air had been knocked out of her, and she was flat on her back. 

A dark shape blotted out the sun, and for a moment it seemed that the shadow Marianne cast while standing over her extended across all the earth. She blocked the sun like the moon during an eclipse. It hurt to look at her. 

Then Hilda blinked, and the moment passed. 

“Sorry,” Marianne said. 

She extended her hand in a silent offer. It was the reverse of last week, when Hilda had helped her to her feet. Without thinking, Hilda reached out and grabbed hold of Marianne’s hand, allowing herself to be hauled upright. A few people were clapping and laughing on the sidelines.

“Are you alright?” asked Marianne. Her hand lingered for a second -- as frightfully cold as it had been the last time they had touched -- before she snatched it away. 

Hilda smiled. She brushed a hand down the front of her own clothes as if wicking off a bit of water, and in a flurry of magic all of the dirt and sweat melted from her, leaving her as clean and fresh as though she had stepped from a shower not five minutes ago.

"Never been better.” She bent down to pick up her axe from the ground, transforming it back into a pair of sunglasses, which she perched atop her nose to complete the look. “Looks like I owe you an ice cream. Or sorbet. Same difference. Want to leave early, and get some now?”

Marianne stared at her. "Was that -" she asked slowly, "- your plan all along? To leave early?"

"Why, are you accusing me of something, Miss Marianne?" Hilda gasped, feigning offence. Then, she lowered her sunglasses just enough to wink over them. "So. Sorbet?"

The corner of Marianne's mouth twitched, but that may have just been a trick of the light. “Yeah. Okay.”

--

If there was one single class that Hilda hated most, it was flying class. The act of flying itself wasn't a problem. In fact, she rather liked it. Especially as a means of convenient transport. Like airplanes. Or helicopters. Or maybe hot air balloons, but those were on thin fucking ice. 

Riding a pegasus, though? No thank you. She would rather wear gumboots and flannel to the Met Gala. 

When Hilda tried to slip away from the class however, she was cornered by Seteth, who was -- unfortunately -- the teacher for that day's lesson. 

"Going somewhere?" 

Hilda froze. She pretended to cough, and turned around, trying to look as haggard as possible. "Oh, Seteth. I'm so glad you asked. I just feel absolutely awful today. I really should sleep this bug off."

Seteth's ageless eyes never left her face. His expression remained fixed and stern, but in a way that somehow made it seem that he was an instant away from a knowing smirk. Like he could see right through her lies. Which, annoyingly, he probably could. 

Damn Titans. Damn pegasi. Damn flying class.

"Now, that is a shame," Seteth said. "Seeing as how, as far as we know, you are the only one Marianne is comfortable touching."

Hilda blinked. "I - uh -? I guess? And also I really don't see how that is relevant."

"Allow me to explain. We are pairing off in today's class, and training for aerial battle manoeuvres." He cocked his head to one side. "Seeing as it would be inhospitable to leave Marianne on the ground while everyone else participated, I was hoping you would do us the kindness of being her partner for this exercise."

"Oh. Well. That's - " Hilda floundered. But before she could even fumble out an excuse, Seteth continued speaking. 

"No matter. If you say you are ill, then you are ill."

Surprised and simultaneously suspicious, Hilda said slowly, "Yes."

"Which is why I must ask Mercedes to heal you. To ensure you are in top shape, of course."

At that, Hilda grimaced. Healing magic when you were actually sick or injured was all fine and dandy. But when you weren't actually sick or injured, it felt -- well, bad, to be perfectly honest. Not that it hurt, so to speak. Just that it felt like someone shoving a tube where it didn't belong in the search for whatever it was that acted as the source of your illness. 

"That won't be necessary -" Hilda tried to say, but Seteth was already turning to wave Mercedes over. In horror, she watched as Mercedes joined them with a concerned look on her face. 

"Mercedes," Seteth said. "Hilda isn't feeling so well, and I was hoping you might assist us, as I do wish for her to partake in today's activities."

"Of course!" Mercedes replied, as cheerful as ever to be helpful in any way. 

With a groan, Hilda allowed her face to be grasped between Mercedes' hands, and her vision was filled with white light. After a very uncomfortable moment, in which Hilda felt like a swarm of flies were crawling beneath her skin, Mercedes let her go. 

Smiling, Mercedes said, "There. Good as new."

"Gee. Thanks." Hilda had to swallow past the magically induced cotton-mouth. 

Mercedes turned to Seteth. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No. Thank you," Seteth said, looking every inch the smug bastard Titan that he was. He wasn't even trying to hide the little smile now. "That will be all."

Mercedes ducked her head in a nod, then trotted back over to the red-haired Athena girl, Annette, and the roan pegasus mare they were going to be riding together. Meanwhile, Seteth continued to watch Hilda. He gestured towards the line of yet unclaimed pegasi. "If you would be so kind."

Grumbling under her breath, Hilda stomped over to where he indicated. Marianne stood apart from the others. Most of the camp members had given up trying to interact with her after a few weeks of being met with awkward silences and constant apologies. When Hilda approached however, Marianne's head lifted. 

"Hi," she greeted with a little wave of her hand. "I thought you said you weren't feeling well?"

Hilda sighed, dragging a hand down her face. "Yeah. Well, Mercedes fixed me up, so now I'm back."

"Oh, good. I'm glad."

"Glad? Really?"

Marianne was wringing her hands together, and darting nervous glances at the other campers. "Well, I - one of the other campers came up to me and asked me to be his partner, and I was afraid Seteth would make me do it."

"Would that be so bad?"

Marianne refused to offer any further explanation. 

"Who asked you?" Hilda asked.

Marianne pointed, and Hilda followed where she indicated. Claude. Of course it was Claude. He saw them looking in his direction. He smiled and waved. 

"He's not so bad," Hilda assured her. 

"I'm sure he isn't. He seemed very nice, in fact."

"And?" 

"And -" Marianne continued at Hilda's urging. "- I don't like spending too much time around people."

Hilda sighed. "I see we're still not past that. Ah, well. Baby steps."

"What?"

"Nothing. Nevermind." Hilda looked down the line of pegasi, who were idly grazing while waiting to be approached by an assigned pair. "C'mon. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

"Alright."

Students were being herded towards the pegasi by Seteth and his daughter, Flayn. Pairs of campers had being to approach a pegasus, and some of the more animal-inclined members were already mounting. Hilda straightened her pink-lensed sunglasses upon her nose, and perused the quickly diminishing selection. 

Minty was unmistakable, with his ivory pale coat and black legs. Hilda made a beeline away from him. There was no way she was going to be saddled with that asshole. Before she could approach the nearest pegasus however, another pair swooped in beside it. 

"Hey!" Hilda said in outrage. "Find your own pegasus!"

Both Edelgard, the head of Athena cabin, and Lysithea gave her reproachful looks that were near identical. Followed by Lysithea saying, "I thought that was your pegasus."

She pointed at Minty. 

Hilda scrunched up her nose. "Ew! No way! What would give you that impression?"

"Because you are often seen talking to him at the stables?" Edelgard answered, as though that were obvious.

"Yeah. Sure, but that doesn't mean he's mine."

Edelgard and Lysithea shared a look, then a shrug. "If you say so," said Lysithea. 

"I just did!" 

Behind her, Marianne cleared her throat softly. "Um -? Hilda?"

Hilda turned. "What's up?"

"I think all of the other pegasi have already been taken."

Hilda looked around. Sure enough, Marianne was right. Swearing loudly, Hilda closed her eyes and tilted her head back to the sky. "Why me?" she groaned.

"I'm sorry -" 

"No, not you, Marianne." Hilda let out a long frustrated exhalation. Then, squaring her shoulders, she marched over to Minty, with Marianne drifting in her wake like a shadow. 

"Hey!" Hilda called out. "Future Glue!"

Two black-tipped ears swivelled at the sound of Hilda's voice, and Minty lifted his head. He was still chewing on a tuft of grass, when his voice filled their heads. "Well, if it isn't my old nemesis, What's-Her-Face. And -" Minty's nostrils flared. "- Carrot Girl."

Coming to a halt before him, Hilda rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. We all have a mutual loathing of one another. What's new?"

"I don't hate you," Marianne said from beside Hilda. 

"That's nice," Minty replied. "But you didn't bring carrots this time."

"Uhm, no. Sorry."

He snorted, then lowered his head to keep eating, utterly disinterested in their presence. 

"Let me handle this," Hilda said to Marianne, then rounded on the pegasus. "Now, listen up. None of us want to be here. But we have to be, or else that guy -" she jerked a thumb over her shoulder towards where Seteth was helping a frantic-looking Hubert onto the back of a pegasus "- will get mad. So, unless you want to buy a one-way ticket to Horse Hell, or whatever, I suggest you cooperate for the next hour or two. Got it?"

The pegasus swished his dark glossy tail, and at the same time stomped one of his back hooves. After a long moment of grass-chewing and contemplation, Minty finally said, "Fine. Get on."

Well, that was easier than anticipated. Hilda didn't even have to wheedle, which was a shame, really. She felt like her wheedling skills were starting to get a bit rusty, and it was always good to practice on something that was immune to charmspeak. 

Hilda held out her hand in a gesture for Marianne to go first. Partly because she was trying to be nice. But mostly because she didn't want to be the one in control of a sentient magical animal. That sounded like way too much responsibility. She'd rather let someone else take the reins.

Not that there were actual reins. Pegasi didn't take very kindly to that kind of thing. They preferred their communication to come in the form of verbal or psychic. Or rude gestures. It really depended on what the situation called for. 

Hilda had expected to need to help Marianne up, but Marianne lifted herself atop the pegasus' back with a sudden surge of grace. She shifted slightly once on his back, tugging at her track pants a bit. She still wore Hilda’s ill-fitting clothes; Hilda would have to call up her brother to see what was taking him so long to send new clothes. 

At the added weight, Minty shuffled his wings, but otherwise remained still. He continued to eat. On the other hand, Hilda tried to haul herself into place twice before giving up. Being short and trying to mount a big horse creature was the bane of her existence. Marianne extended her hand, and pulled at Hilda's wrist, and Hilda nearly went careening over Minty's back onto the other side. She barely stopped herself, but only by grabbing onto Marianne's shoulders. 

Immediately, Marianne stiffened. Which meant Hilda stiffened, and jerked her hands away as if burned. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Marianne mumbled, but she kept her head ducked, and her eyes firmly fixed on the way her fists were clenched around great handfuls of Minty's dark mane.  

"Is it okay if I -?" Hilda held out her hands, but did not touch Marianne's waist. 

A moment of hesitation before Marianne nodded. Even so, Hilda did not immediately touch her. 

From the direction of the stables, Seteth's voice rang out. "Campers, you should now all have mounted your pegasi. I want you to do a lap to the dining pavilion and back, before getting into your pre-determined aerial formations over the lake."

He droned on and on with instructions. Hilda made a miming gesture with her hand that mimicked his incessant talking. Peeking over her shoulder, Marianne saw, and made a funny noise at the back of her throat, before quickly turning back around. 

"Don't fly over the forest," Seteth finished with the usual warnings. "And be back in no later than two hours. If you should need assistance, I will be riding behind you. Now, go."

The literal second he said 'go', Minty spread his wings. Previously Hilda had not properly admired the true breadth of his wingspan. He had always kept them neatly tucked up against his flank every time she had encountered him in the past. Now, seated atop his back, his wings spread a good fifteen feet in either direction, and all of a sudden Hilda felt quite small. 

When he lifted his head, and then reared up on his hind legs, Hilda wrapped her arms around Marianne's waist with a yelp. 

"Is that really necessary?" Hilda asked.

He did not answer. Instead, he charged forward to get a running start, and then his wings swept downwards. With a mighty gust, they were airborne. Air rushed past them as they gained altitude with every downward stroke of Minty's wings. 

Hilda kept her eyes squeezed shut. Her hands firmly grasped each other around Marianne's narrow waist, and she had the side of her face pressed against Marianne's back. She could feel the tense of muscle against her cheek, but Marianne did not try to shuffle away or tell her to stop. 

It wasn't until they started to travel in a horizontal line again that Hilda dared to open her eyes and lift her head. She nudged the side of her face against Marianne’s shoulder to straighten her sunglasses. They were midway along the pack of other campers, with more than enough room to spare between each pegasus. Hilda relaxed a bit, letting loose a breath she had been holding since they took off. 

"You don't like flying," Marianne commented, and it was not a question. 

"Not really, no," Hilda said. She looked down at the ground, and admired the view far below. "I mean, I like the act of flying itself. Heights aren’t a problem. If I were flying a plane, it would be totally fine. Or a creature that wasn't, you know, sentient. I just don't trust that a pegasus won't do something dumb just for the hell of it."

"Minty wouldn't do that," Marianne assured her.

"Yes, I would," said Minty. 

Hilda pointed at his tufted ears, which were angled back so he could eavesdrop. "Mind your business, asshole."

"You're on my back. You are my business."

"Whatever." 

They didn't even make it back from the pavilion for the first lap. As they flew over the lake, Minty glided downwards, drifting far below the other pegasi until they were just a meter or so above the water.

"Hey, uh -" Hilda said, peering up at the other paired groups far overhead. "Why are we flying so low all of a sudden? Not that I don't appreciate standing out from the crowd, but -"

Minty did not answer. Instead, he just kicked his back legs. Hard. Hilda, who had loosened her grip around Marianne's waist, was jostled so forcefully that she didn't have time to even scramble for a better hold. She just fell right off his back and into the water.

Hitting the lake was a cold shock. Hilda struck out at the water, and swam furiously back to the surface. She gasped for air, treading water. Her sunglasses had been dislodged, and she could see the faint glimmer of them sinking into the clear blue of the water below her.

Glowering at Minty, who was flapping his wings to hover in place over her, Hilda spat against the water lapping at her chin. "Oh, you're going to pay for that. Look at my hair! And my clothes! And you made me lose my axe! Do you know how much time I spent making -?"

Minty flapped his wings in such a way that the very tip of his longest flight feathers skimmed the surface of the water, and splashed her in the face.

"You -!" Hilda spluttered. "Asshole!"

She tried to splash him back, but missed wildly. He was too high up to reach. On the pegasus' back, Marianne was covering her mouth with one hand. She was holding back an odd, strangled noise. When it escaped from behind her hand, she quickly turned her head aside to hide her face.

She was, Hilda finally realised, laughing at her.

"Oh you think this is funny, do you?" Hilda asked.

It took Marianne a second to compose herself, and even then her answer sounded strained. "No. It's -” Marianne bit her lower lip, and her voice wobbled suspiciously. “It's terrible. What an awful thing to have happened."

"Uh-huh.” Hilda nodded at the pegasus, and said, “Minty, dump her.”

“What -?” said Marianne. 

If a pegasus could grin, then surely Minty was grinning right now. He dropped his back legs, and gave a single strong flap of his wings. Eyes wide, Marianne scrambled at his mane, but couldn’t hold on. She slowly slipped down his back, and plunged into the water a few meters away from Hilda.

Marianne’s head emerged from the water with a gasp. Her hair was plastered to the side of her face, the messy bun beginning to unfurl from its braid at the base of her neck. Hilda lifted a hand, and splashed her. Marianne sputtered. She tread water with the clumsiness of someone well and truly unaccustomed to swimming. Hilda smirked in triumph at the look of absolute shock on Marianne’s face. 

“Now who’s laughing? Huh, punk?” Hilda said.

Some indescribable expression crossed Marianne’s face. Hilda watched her go on a face journey -- bewilderment, irritation, amusement -- before landing finally on resolve. It was the most expressive Hilda had ever seen her. And it took Hilda utterly by surprise when Marianne actually splashed her back. 

“Oh, it is so on.” 

Hilda put a bit more force behind her next splash, spraying a broad stream of lake water right at Marianne’s head. Marianne’s high pitched squeak was well worth another faceful of water pushed back at her. Minty continued to hover and watch their fight until, with Marianne’s help, Hilda managed to grab hold of one hairy pastern and drag him half into the lake. He floundered like a cat in water, flapping wildly until he was in the air once more. But by that point Hilda was laughing so hard she inhaled water and started to cough, while Marianne patted her on the back. 

When they finally made it back to shore, they were panting slightly. Marianne clambered onto the beach and sprawled on her back, with Hilda doing the same beside her.  

Breathing heavily, Hilda said towards the sky, “I told you I would take you swimming in the lake.” 

Marianne laughed aloud, then quickly covered her mouth with her hands to stifle the noise. Her eyes were still crinkled at the edges. The sight hit Hilda like a blow to the chest. Or maybe that was just heat of the sun beating down on them high overhead. 

She looked away, and tried not to think about it too hard. 

The shadow of a pegasus drifted along the ground nearby, as Seteth landed on the beach. He dismounted, and walked over to them. Arms crossed, he tilted his head. “While I am glad to see you two having such a good time, I am hard pressed to condone skipping a lesson.”

Hilda pointed towards Minty, who had landed further along, and was shaking himself off like a dog. “It’s all his fault, Your Honour. I swear it.”

“Please, do not refer to me as such. That is a very particular title reserved for other deities far outside my jurisdiction.”

In response, Hilda lowered her hand so that it was a half-hearted salute by her head. “Understood, my lord.”

Marianne made that strangled sound again. Her hand was clapped over her mouth, and her shoulders were shaking. 

With a sigh, Seteth shook his head. After they received a thoroughly tepid scolding -- which was just enough time for them to start to dry off beneath the noonday sun -- Seteth urged them back into the air to finish the lesson. Before that however, he had a few whispered words with Minty, which neither of them could overhear. Whatever he said must’ve worked though, because the pegasus behaved for the remaining hour or so.

It wasn’t until they were back at the stables that Marianne’s usual sombre air returned. It was incredibly out of place with her rumpled clothes, and the coils of hair that had slipped from their trappings and curled gently at the nape of her neck. Still, her dark eyes were warm when she offered Hilda a little wave of goodbye as they parted ways for the day. 

Hilda waved back, “See you tomorrow!”

Her hand was still held halfway in the air as she watched Marianne walk off towards the cabins. 

When someone clapped Hilda on the back, she nearly leapt out of her skin. Claude came up from behind, and draped his arm around her shoulders so they could watch Marianne glide away together.

“Good trick with the water,” he said, and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Now, we can cross Poseidon off our list.”

“Right,” she replied without any real feeling. Not once did she take her eyes off Marianne’s retreating form. “Yeah, I totally meant to do that.”

Hilda half expected Marianne to turn back, to steal a glance over her shoulder. She didn’t. 

[kaisooficrec]

Can you please recommend new coffee shop themed fics please? Anything that has to do with a coffee shop setting would be great.

Hey anon! these are all the newer/not recced before cafe/coffee shop AU fics we could find! they’re all very fluffy so enjoy~ don’t forget to leave kudos and nice comments to the authors

Two Sugars - jongin is a barista and soo works for a high-end magazine, he has a crush on nini who works at the cafe he always drops by before going to work in the morning. BLESS THIS FIC! it’s as smutty as it is fluffy and i LOVE it! a true masterpiece + ON-GOING! **thumbs up** (Read on AFF)

Unlucky in Love - originally posted for the OLAO fic fest that ended just recently, nini has been going through a dating slump, until chanhun set him up with ksoo who has a crush on him. xxxtra fluffy

A Storm is Brewing - oneshot, barista!jongin who has to take care of soo because he is terrified of storms. 

Chance - omg the pining ~so good~ SO kaisoo are baristas at the same cafe and they both like each other but they think the other doesn’t like him back (-:

sweet against your lips - KAISOO FUCKED IN THE BACK OF THE COFFEE SHOP AND IT WAS AMAZING! jongin is the barista and kyungsoo is a regular costumer :D

Chai love it - super fluffy drabble, kyungsoo is a flirt and jongin found his new favorite costumer. it wasn’t a bad tuesday after all o/

How to Say (It) - Uni AU + Cafe AU. Kaisoo and Sulay are both the main pairings (i’d even say it’s sudo-centric, they’re bffs). they all meet in the cafe jongin and yixing work at go on a double date!

Caramel Macchiato with Extra Whipped Cream - i want to SCREAM this is soooo adorable!! soo is a new costumer in the cafe jongin works at but he always comes in with his bff chanyeol who’s too touchy and jongin is very sulky and jealous bc he thinks they’re dating and it’s so cuuuute but also really funny!!

I Remember - omg my heart n_n writer au + cafe au, jongin is a writer and he’s trying to forget about his messy breakup and the cute barista from the cafe he’s always eating at only wants to help him get better. 

Here’s A Tip - UWU suuuuper shy jongin doesn’t have the courage to ask kyungsoo out but luckily he’s got the best wingman aka byun baekhyun and his genius ideas. ADORABLE! fluff fluff and more fluff

Night and Day - zejndjn !!!! i’m DROOLING. jongin is a barista by day and turns into kai the stripper by night. it takes a while for soo to realize they’re the same person. /the smut is 👌🏻/

Caramel and Cinnamon - AGAIN WITH THE PINING! jongin’s the barista who likes ksoo who also likes him but they’re both too shy. it’s super funny too~~

coffee and blueberry muffins - ;__; soo asks jongin out and they go on a couple of dates

Ten to One - ???? three words: unique, sweet and perfect. kyungsoo is mute ;; but jongin falls for his smile and little notes anyway

Happy laughter - kyungsoo decides to go study in a cafe in the middle of the night but he can’t get any work done because he’s too distracted by the hot barista. and his ex barging in asking for a second chance. /cries in uwu/

Now Open - YOOOOO kaisoo are married and ksoo can’t stand his job so he quits and decides to open his own cafe, with the support of his husband. domestic fluff so cute

valentines’ mistletoes - valentine’s day + cafe au!! they’re coworkers in a cafe and they’re putting up decorations for the special event and then kyungsoo :-) finds himself :-) standing under :-) the mistletoe :-) and jongin’s there ofc :-) and baekhyun is just, being baekhyun… :-)

Where Our Worlds Collide - they meet in the cafe kyungsoo works at and it’s basically love at first sight uwu

- Admin Macaroon 

melting point - this is peak fluffy comedy :’)) jongin’s summer job in the cafe is p boring until a very scary looking (very hot) guy shows up on regular. fjhggmjgfl jongin hid under the table when he saw ksoo iM CRY (shy nini, bad boy ksoo)

god i could have kissed you - idol au. kyungsoo is collecting merch and cup sleeves of a famous idol named kai in coffee shops for his bestfriend and actually unintentionally meets the idol himself ;)

Miracles In December - only 4 chapters out but coffee shop!au. jongin is a college student/barista who has a crush on one of their regular customer with cute glasses, kyungsoo, who is the uni’s graduate TA. little does he know that kyungsoo likes him too but both are quite shy and just keep glancing at each other. so FLUFF

Summer Snapdragons - age switch, ksoo a 21 yr old student working in a coffee shop is very shy around the shop’s owner ji who is 27. he draws pictures of jongin in free time and jongin happens to find them. smut.

Cafe Eau Laid - wolf au, jongin’s got a crush on this guy who comes into the coffee shop. Only problem is, this omega has a boyfriend (or not??). smut

I Love You A Latte - a drabble from a collection, it’s super fluffy and cheesy - see the pick up line ;)

I Hate You a Latte - yeaa enemies to lovers au who also love showing off their flirting skills infront of everyone lol

Puppy Love - a fic from our legendary project! it’s a dog cafe how cute! and it’s jongin who owns it ^u^

Coffee never hurt anyone - hybrid au, soo is a kitty hybrid working in the cafe and jongin visits him…smut

A Warm Cup Of You - jongin is getting more than just a caramel frappe :3 and smooth kyungsoo making all the right moves ;D

Coffee Shop AU - kyungsoo visits his favourite coffee shop often and one of the reasons is that he has a crush on a cute boy who works there :)

The Creepy Kid With The Baby - coffee shop setting :) kyungsoo routinely visits a coffee shop and one day a stranger just tells him to hold his baby while he has a cup of coffee done n ready to be picked up - the dilemma! 

awakened - a little drabble of jongin falling a little for the cute barista oo behind the counter ^^

A Dandelion of Dawn - a mysterious writer is intriguing in barista jongin’s eyes. soft and soothing :)

- Admin J

[bd-steelyfam]

No, that’s not their gang name. Shut up, don’t laugh.

P: Curious about my gang, huh? Well, here they are!

P: Around a year ago, I accidentally brushed shoulders with Balmain. She demanded me to say sorry, and I refused! My pride’s waaaay higher than that, yannow. We argued, and got our stands out! Ballsmain looked at me like a fuckin’ deer in the headlights (is that the right term???!) and said that I have potential to join her motorbike gang! How can a hot bod like me turn down that offer??!

P: Then we got to a ghetto street, and met these four other girls. Balenciaga is one sassy beast, like whenever I got angry she just comments with this monotone voice, but her smirk!! God, she never got rid of it every time she talks at me. Carla Zampatti is quieter, but really energetic if we are about to tear down the streets. She has these... y’know. Mom vibes?? I don’t know how to decribe it, but she’s really good at talking and persuading other people into doing some stuff for us!

P: Marlene Dior.. jeez. Where can I even start?! She’s always smiling flirtatiously, I mean look at her fashion! Kiss marks everywhere, even her own FUCKING FACE!! To Main, Cia, Carla, and even me! Like she would flung her arms around their neck from behind them, WHO DOES THAT??!! I must admit, she is a pretty awesome motorbiker, though.

P: And then... there’s Atroe. She prefers to be called Foo Fighters, probably because it sounds waaaay cooler than Atroe! Who names their kid Atroe? She is very smart, the smartest in the whole fuckin’ gang. Foo is... uhh.... mysterious? She is so blunt, like when Dior is joking about something stupid, she says that she is stupid (which is true) and has to reevaluate her conversation choices??!! Foo always acts like this “soooo cool awesome loner” girl, but what kind of person exists in a biker gang? A FUCKIN’ BIKER GANG??!! Look, if she really is sooo smart, why is she even in our gang??!! Cooperation is a must in gangs, missy!

P: Also, no burning people! We nearly got arrested last month because we tried to burn down another Sephora!! Marlene says it’s a quicker way for me to acquire the lipsticks, so of course I fuckin’ followed her!! And after all those fiasco, she just kept laughing and smirking and SHIT!!! Ugh, why am I always the unlucky one??!!

@owlthepen

[solarisesanev]

For evil muns of multimuses

{ Some of my muses aren’t up yet!! OH NO!! }

That muse you really like to put through the wringer:

Siobhan. Mostly because she’s so filled with angst that she makes it pretty easy. I’m kind of afraid she’s lowkey never going to be totally happy and that kinda hurts. Not even the shit I put her through, it’s just the way her mindset is. Like she’s actively preventing herself from being happy. But yeah, Siobhan is definitely number one. 

That muse you like to see get fucked (in whichever sense):

Sexually, it really depends on who the character is partnered up with. Like one night stands can be fun if the character their having it with peaks their interest enough. Otherwise, I’d say all of them. :D It’s how I know that they’re growing and there’s still things to write for them. If they weren’t getting fucked over, that would basically mean there’s nothing left for me to write.

That muse you like to tease with hope and then crush

Not sure. I don’t think any of my muses are really the hopeful type and if they are, they’re the type to persist.

That muse who keeps hoping anyway:

Maryann. No contest.

That muse who has nightmares:

Siobhan, Jo, Isaac, Val, Caius (he’s not up yet ;D), Gracie, Klio, Iago, Isis, Cassie, Soleil, Rion, Aoibheann, Saoirse, Milo, Saskia.

That muse whose backstory keeps getting more tragic:

Siobhan & Val. I was writing some bios in relation to Val yesterday and just... God! Someone should just fold her in a blanket and cuddle the bads away. It won’t work but still.

That muse you adopted specifically to destroy them:

Not sure. XD 

That muse whose death you have already planned in detail:

All of them. Well, half of them.

That muse you keep killing over and over:

Siobhan & Isis

That muse who will always be unlucky in love:

Siobhan: Be it fate or her own actions, she kind of ends up ruining it in the end. In her canon, she has her head stuck on one guy in particular and they do end up together then break up and then get back together. They’re soulmates but for her, she knows that one is going to outlive the other and she only sees the tragic ends in it. 

 Isis: She will do her best to make sure she never loves anyone again considering that the last person she “loved” was just using her to rise through the ranks in their pack back before she became a hybrid and then rejected her. 

Jo: All her relationships have ended in tragedy and, to some degree, she may not know any other way to be. Love ends in pain and she’s experienced this countless times.

Aoibheann: She’s a bitch and she equally hates all gender/sexes/people in general so...

Soleil: There’s no story here, she’s just not one to date. She hasn’t had a boyfriend in centuries.

That muse you love to hurt the most:

ALL!!! GIMME THEM ANGSTY SHITS FAM!!! -GRABBY HANDS- 

Tagged by: @shctteredillusionsTagging: whoever wants (not following a lot of multimuses or a lot of anyone XD Soooo!! HAVE AT YOU

[siranghae]

Punishment (m)

Word count: 4,881

Content: Jungkook smut - blowjob, fingering, hair pulling, ass slapping, dom!Kook, cop AU

A/N: I know this took a looong time to post since I've been busy with school and work (which is just delightful... ugh) but I hope this scenario makes that up for you. After all, it's over 50% smut for once because GOD DO I HAVE A THINK FOR KOOKIE AS A COP. I'M WEAK OKAY?? Sorry.

When it comes to getting pulled over, you might have the worst luck in the world. After all, is there anyone else who has had to flirt their way out of a ticket three times in one month? For some reason, you just happened to be that unlucky. You could be in the Guinness World Records.

And as if it couldn’t get any worse, it’s the same cop every time.

He had dark hair that always looked like he’d just brushed his fingers through it - messy yet stylish in a way - with a few strands falling down his forehead. Eyes like those of a fox, clever and arrogant. That same attitude he showed in his posture, too, always pushing his chest forward so you could clearly see that he exercised frequently.

Jeon Jungkook, is what he introduced himself as every time.

“Yes, I know that,” you said that third time, forcing a smile.

He was leaning against your car, his face only a few inches away from yours and robbed you of any personal space. His smile was that of a boy that had always gotten what he wanted and was now expecting the world to bow down for him. “So you can remember my name but can’t remember traffic rules?” He asked, winking teasingly. He’d said the same thing last time, too, though he didn’t seem to care. Or maybe he’d forgotten.

You giggled exaggeratedly, almost making yourself throw up from the cutesy attitude. “Sorry, mister~” you put emphasis on the last word, stretching the last syllable out as much as possible. The moment you’d laid eyes on him, it had become apparent what kind of girls he’d like: the overly girly ones, sugarcoating everything like they were in a tv drama.

He clicked his tongue. “How is it that I keep running into you? It’s almost as if you’re doing it on purpose.” As he said it, his fox eyes moved down, stopping right where the decollete of your tight red dress started. It was as though you’d sensed you’d meet again that morning, picking the dress instinctively that morning without thinking about it twice. It was a good pick, you realised now: he was basically eating you up alive.

His gaze snapped back to your face when you giggled again. With a dirty smirk, he leaned even closer, basically leaning in through your window at this point. You could kiss him if he got two inches closer. “Who knows? Maybe I want you to teach me the rules.” you did your best to wink suggestively, though you hoped he wouldn’t actually take you up on that offer.

Yes, he was your type. Every angle of his face was perfect, like he’d been shaped to be divine, every smirk he smiled was so tempting that you could already imagine kissing him just to stop him from teasing you. Every inch of your body said yes, would gladly do anything his eyes asked you to do - but despite that, your mind said no. With good reason. His arrogance was overwhelming, his words filled with self-praise and pride. He knew how hot he was, too, which pissed you off more than anything else. Any other guy like this would have turned you off immediately. You wouldn’t have tried to flirt your way out of a speeding ticket if he’d looked even slightly different. And yet, here you were, wondering what had driven you to this point.

“Oh, do you? Hm… I’m not sure,” he said, pretending to think hard about what he’d decide. “Punishing you sounds good too. After all, you’ve been a very, very bad girl.”

You almost burst out laughing at his attempt at flirting with you. Of course, he wasn’t aware of it, looking as though he’d just said the best thing in the world. He was so cocky for someone that wasn’t able to woo you with his words in the slightest. The last time you’d slept with a guy like him, he’d been unbearable before and after. Always talking about himself, his job, his friends, his past and his future like he was infatuated with himself. This cop, though he was much younger, could’ve been his brother. It amused you that people could be this full of themselves.

Looking at your dashboard, you noticed it was almost 7 pm. You were on your way to your parents’ place, though you’d left too late as usual. Getting pulled over by him the other times might not have been as bad - this time, you weren’t that patient. You breathed in slowly before putting on a overly sweet smile again. “Oh, please, mister, I’m not that bad, am I? Could you not let me off with a warning?” You leaned forward, knowing he’d look down again.

You were right. He licked his lips, his eyes hungrier than before. You knew what he was thinking, as his perverted gaze was basically spelling it out for you. “Are you in a hurry or something?”

Nodding eagerly, you explained to him that you were going to see your parents. Why you told him where you were going, you didn’t know. Perhaps it would convince him to let you go.

He chuckled, and from his gaze you could tell he had a hard time concentrating on what you said. “Is that so? Hm… I’m not sure if I believe a girl like you.”

“W-why not?” you said, smiling at the last second.

“Don’t you think I’ve noticed?” He suddenly stepped back from the car. Then, he strained a smile. “‘Mister, mister, I’m soooo sorry for driving too fast! Can’t you let me off with a warning?’” His voice was higher-pitched, sounding almost cutesy. Every word was accompanied by him sticking out his chest even more. Everything about his acting was strange, almost laughable - until you realised he was pretending to be you. “You look like this and you think you need to put on some kind of act for me? Fuck, do you think I’m that ignorant?”

You stuttered, nothing coherent coming out of your mouth. When he realised you wouldn’t respond, he continued. “I was going along with it, but honestly, it isn’t really working for you. Don’t worry, I won’t be keeping you here much longer. Just let me fine you real quick, and-”

“No!” You gasped. “Please don’t.” No way in hell were you going to let your parents discover that you’d broken the rules. They knew you to be so proper, never doing anything that was against the law - even the smallest wrongdoing would send them into shock. Moreover, you weren’t rolling in money. You knew getting fined like this would have consequences.

He raised an eyebrow. “Ah, so that’s your real personality? Look, missy, that’s just how it goes. You break the rules, I punish you. No matter how attractive you might be, or how cutesy you act, rules are rules.”

“Please, o-officer. I’ll do anything. Anything.” You grabbed his hand, noticing that he was turning away from you before you’d even finished your plea.

The cop turned his head into your direction, looking skeptical. “Anything?”

You cleared your throat, putting up a more sensual voice. “Anything for you… oppa.” It was a bold move, you knew that, but it was the only thing you could think of in that moment. Guys loved it when you called them that. You knew how much control you had over them, knew that just that one word could make them forget everything.

Not him.

“What did you just say?” Suddenly, his face was right next to yours. His breath was in your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You gasped, which only made him inch closer to you. “What, huh?”

You didn’t dare move an inch, scared of what he would do if you did. His eyes that had resembled a foxes before now were more like those of a tiger - hungry, angry, violent. The arrogance was gone and had made place for raw emotions - those of an animal that was about to grab its prey. And that prey was you. “Oppa? Oppa? Did you just call me your oppa?” He pulled his hand away, letting yours crash down.

You didn’t know how to respond without making him more angry. You looked at him in utter silence, holding your breath until your throat ached. His jaw looked razorsharp, like it could cut right through you if he turned his head ever so slightly. With one finger you reached out - scared yet so curious that you couldn’t restrain the urge to touch it.

He shook his head with short, aggressive twitches, making you pull your finger back. You’d never seen someone get so angry over something as trivial as this, shaking like he’d just been told you had ruined his life. “Nobody calls me their oppa, you got that?” The lines between his brows were so deep that you thought they’d become permanent. He clenched his jaw, letting out a groan of frustration that got louder and louder until he finally growled a sentence. “Mister Jeon, is that fucking clear?”

“Y-yes, opp-” You bit down on your lip with such force that it got numb after a second. He raised an eyebrow, inching closer to you. By the time he stopped, you could almost feel his lips against yours. The only thing you had to do was tilt your head forward, and you’d taste him. “...Mister Jeon.”

He nodded. “That’s a good girl.” He stepped back, abruptly ending your thoughts of kissing him. “God, if you hadn’t said that…”

“What then?” You asked, leaning forward.

His eyes locked on to yours, narrowing with distrust. “We’re going to be nosey now? First, you go and call me oppa, and now this… You think you can afford to act this way?” He chuckled, shaking his head again. “A girl as attractive as you in a tight dress like that… fuck, you must’ve done this before.”

“N-no, never!” You exclaimed, reaching out for his hand again. “This is the first time, I swear.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he growled. When he noticed your hand, he laughed. “I bet you’ve bent down with that pretty little ass of yours many times. You know what you’re doing. Dudes must love you and this act of yours. I can’t blame them for that.”

You opened your mouth, but no sound come out. You didn’t know if what he was saying was true, but looking into his eyes you knew he meant it. His eyes followed your curves down again, but this time you could only guess what he was imagining. He swallowed, clearly not in control of his thoughts anymore. “Get out of the car.”

His voice was so demanding that you barely dared to make him wait. You fumbled with your seatbelt, trying to unfasten it as quickly as possible, yet that somehow ended up making it much harder to do. Panicking, you looked up at him. “I-”

He flung the car door open, sighing. “Fuck, I’ll do it for you if it’s going to take this long.” He leaned in, his head almost against your breasts, his fingers creeping up your dress to your belt. You bit your lip. His fingers were long and elegant, and even just this gentle touch made you slam your thighs shut so you’d not notice the warm pleasure between your legs. Two seconds later, it was over. He stepped back, looking impatiently at you. You swallowed, rubbing your thighs together to relieve yourself of some of the tension. Never had a guy been able to make you feel this worked up, let alone a guy that looked like he was about to snap your neck in half. As slowly as you could, you put your feet on the pavement next to your car, hoping to postpone whatever was waiting for you. Gathering all the courage you had, you whispered: “What are you going to do to me?” You were standing next to him now, finally noticing how much taller the boy seemed now that you were seeing him on eye level.

“Punish you, of course.”

His hands were on your waist, spinning your around so that you were facing the car. He placed you against the side of the car harshly. You gasped when you felt him press his lower body against your ass, feeling his erection for the first time. It was already so hard, sliding up and down against the curve in your dress smoothly. His fingers reached down, moving up the fabric until your butt was only covered by a thin layer of underwear. It was cold outside, yet you barely took note of it. Instinctively, you spread your legs further, arching your ass his way.

“Oppa~” you mumbled, closing your eyes.

His hand hit your left cheek only milliseconds after you’ve uttered it. You gasped out of surprise, your mouth pressing against the freezing metal of your car’s frame. “Wrong,” he said, sounding like a teacher reprimanding a pupil. Before he let you correct yourself, he rubbed his cock against you again, sending a wave of pleasure through to your head. The friction made your thoughts foggy, every little distraction abruptly making you forget what you were thinking about. You uttered a coo when he stopped moving, rubbing your ass against him instead.

“You like that, baby?” he groaned, fingers pressing into your waist so hard that they’d leave bruises.

“Fuck, yes~” you whined, turning your head so you could see him. “More…”

The second slap was harder, making you let out a strangled moan that was cut off by a third one. He grabbed you by your hair, pulling your head closer to his. “You know how hard this was for me? I can’t believe I held myself back until now.”

You snapped back to reality for a brief moment. “Wait, you mean…?”

“What, you thought I just now happened to realise this? ‘Huh, she’s giving me a boner, I wonder why’?” He laughed, pushing himself even closer to you. “I’ve wanted to do this to you the second I saw you. But I told myself that I couldn’t. Fuck, I wanted to touch myself so bad this whole month, you don’t even know. You didn’t make this easy for me. Every night, I imagined you on your knees with that little mouth around my dick. I don’t even remember how I stopped myself from jerking off to that thought.” He growled, his hand pulling your hair until your lips touch. It’s a raw, first kiss, much more eager than any of the kisses you’ve had before with other guys but also much more messy. His teeth bit into your lower lip, brushed against your tongue - it was rough, yet it felt incredible to have a man long this much for you. After a mere minute, he jerked his head away.

“Get on your knees,” he sneered, letting your body collapse against the car when he let go of your waist. You nodded, slowly getting down to your knees with the curve of the car against your back. Your heart raced, beating so fast it could've driven you to a heart attack. You had to admit to yourself that you were excited about this now that you were eye to eye with his crotch, noticing how big the bulge in his pants truly was. You wondered what he would feel like inside of your mouth, if he'd even fit, as your fingers inched closer and closer towards his pants.

His hand was on your head, and he petted you kindly as to reward you for obeying his demands. He tried to be aggressive with you, yet you could see that it was really the impatience of a horny young boy who was getting a blowjob. You smiled at that thought as you curled your fingers around the top of his pants.

“You're so eager, babe,” he said, noticing that smile and misinterpreting it as excitement about what was going to happen. “Have you never done this before after all?” He chuckled huskily, his fingers lowering themselves into your nape. “Am I your first?”

You yanked down his pants at that moment, revealing his cock that was standing up straight. Looking up at him, you licked your lips teasingly. “You'll see.”

And with that, you put your mouth on his tip.

“Fuc-ck..” he growled, his fingers wrapping around your hair and pulling your head away from his part. Every inch of his face screamed pain mixed with lust. With his free hand, he slowly started jerking his cock up and down. A moan escaped his lips right before he bit into the lower one roughly. You could tell that he'd been holding back now. Every little stroke made him grunt, thrusting his hips forward so that your mouth was almost on him again. You observed him for a moment, wondering when he'd tell you to do it again, yet it seemed like he was too busy to say a single phrase. After one hard stroke, his eyes rolled back in his head and he let go, too weak to continue pleasuring himself. He was irresistible in that moment, his cock looking so smooth and thick that you couldn't help but repeat your action from before. When you touched the sensitive skin, your gaze found his. He smirked, trying to seem composed. “That's a good girl.”

You stuck your tongue out, licking his tip faster than you usually did. He moaned again, thrusting his hips forward so that his cock went into your mouth. It was sloppy, your teeth scraping him as it entered, yet he didn't seem to mind. With one hand, you grabbed his member by its base, as the other pulled down his pants further to reveal his legs. It was obvious that he worked out - his thighs were accentuated, like those of a dancer. You caressed the left side, feeling the strong muscles twitch with every touch.

“You look so hot on your knees, baby,” he cooed, his hand pulling your hair back so that your mouth would create friction on him. He yelped when you put him deeper in your mouth, punishing him for pulling your hair too hard. You continued until his tip hit the back of your mouth. It hurt, making it so hard to stay like this, yet you managed to pull yourself together and look him in the eyes for a moment as you deepthroated him. There were tears in your own eyes, as your gag reflex was not happy about this course of action. Jungkook, on the other hand, slumped forward with his upper body, his hand grabbing the open door to support him. “Damn,” he moaned, closing his eyes. “Your mouth feels so good… it's so fucking wet-” He moaned again when you slowly pulled your mouth off of his dick. The taste of precum was in your mouth, making you feel a hot burning sensation between your legs.

“You're really good at this, baby girl.” He put his hand on your head again, slowly digging into your hair. You knew your looked messy after that, though you'd only blown him once. Somehow, that made him look at you even more longingly. “Do it again.”

You nodded, wrapping your hand around him once more before blowing him. You made sure not to do it too quickly, your movements predictable and merciful, yet you could see that the man wasn't going to be lasting much longer. His hands weakly held on to your hair, and with every rhythmic thrust of his pelvis he pulled it back a little, making sure you wouldn't choke. Every time you squeezed it,he'd shiver with pleasure and moan delightfully. His cock was so warm and nice in your mouth that you wanted to keep going - pleasuring the man with your soft lips until he came more heavily than he ever had. But before you got the chance to do that, right when he was about to orgasm, he pulled your hair back with such strength that your head slammed against the car frame.

His breathing was short and quick, mixed with loud groans that showed how close he'd been to cumming. “S-sorry…” he moaned, his voice cracking at the end. He wasn't able to say more than that when he was out of breath, needing every bit of oxygen so he wouldn't collapse against you.

“It's okay,” you mumbled, brushing your hair back as best as you could. Your lips were swollen, and when you licked them you tasted from of his precum. That action made him growl like he was in incredible pain from not letting you finish it off. His erection looked painful, still sticking up nearly vertically,making you feel bad for him.

“Oppa-” you bit your lip, but you knew it's too late to take it back. Despite how weak your blowjob had made him, Jungkook’s eyes turned into flames before he completely lost his temper. You shrieked when he grabbed your wrists, pulling you up against the car until you were standing up straight - then, he lifted you up by your knees, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your wetness pressed right up against his clothed stomach, seeping through your underwear and his shirt, making him notice how turned on you were for the first time. You averted your eyes when you noticed his grin, amused and teasing. “God, you're so wet. I bet I'll slide into you just like that. Fuck, I can't wait.”

With surprising ease, he managed to pull down your panties without letting you fall. You gasped, feeling one of his long fingers rub against your entrance and making the tension there increase by tenfold. He licked his lips, seeing you enjoy it so much. “You like it rough, right?”

“W-what? No…” the sweet girl in you couldn't help but deny it, shaking your head like your life depended on it.

Jungkook realised something, chuckling when he sees you blush.

“I have to punish you for lying, babe,” he said, his finger going inside of you. It went in so smooth and deep that you gasped in surprise when he hit your spot so quickly. You grinded your hips against him to relieve the tension of him inside you, spreading your legs further in the process to make it easier for him to move. “God, you feel so fucking tight. I can't wait much longer.”

“Please, Jungkook…” you whined, tightening yourself around his finger even more. “Please…”

“What, babe?”

You moaned.

“Say it.”

You closed your eyes. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook! ”

You didn't have to tell him twice.

His hand moved your ass up against the metal, positioning you in a way that would make it easy for him to slide into you. “That’s my baby girl,” he muttered into your ear, his voice sounding so different that it scared you. It was lower, huskier, much more intense. You knew you’d reached a point from which there was no return. His lips kissed your jawline, your impatience getting stronger and stronger.

“Don’t make me wait, Jungkook~” you whined, turning your head away from his.

“Getting impatient, are we?” You felt his hand cup your ass, squeezing it harshly. “You deserve to be punished for being such a tease. Maybe I’ll let you wait for a whole month, too?”

“N-no!” You yelled, louder than you wanted to. You wrapped your arms around his neck desperately, begging him not to make you wait. Had he changed his mind? “Don’t do this to me.”

“I thought you didn’t want this?” He tilted his head to the side. “You seemed in such a hurry before you conveniently gave in to me. Maybe I should fine you after all…”

You panicked, not knowing what to do to distract him from that thought - or to prove him wrong. Finally, you tightened the embrace, pushing him towards you with your legs until his tip was against your entrance? (I don’t really know what you meant)  “Anything but that. Please, Jungkook. I want you.”

“Really?” He licked his lips, teasingly thrusting his member up so that it entered you by less than an inch. You choked, feeling the way he stretched you with barely anything. “Hm, I don’t know.”

You looked at him. His arrogant smile was back - he was just messing around now. No mattered how many times you begged, you could see that he wasn’t going to give in. But what were you supposed to do then? You didn’t want to wait any longer - and you knew he was only doing this to make you go crazy. He wouldn’t be able to stay patient forever. How long would he make you wait, though?

In that moment, you realised something - you knew what he wanted you to do. He wanted you to say it, loudly and clearly, so he could punish you with good reason.

You bit your lip and put on the same face as you had before he’d shown his true side. Lips pouting, eyes staring into his flirtily, hands caressing his nape. Then, you said the words he wanted to hear, putting on the cutesiest voice you could do.

“Oppa~” you cried. “Why are you making me wait?”

He growled. “What was that?”

You made a confused sound. “Huhhh? What is it, oppa?”

His eyes went blank, the only way to tell what that word was doing to him being the right corner of his mouth that twitched nervously. “Don’t you dare.”

“What do you mean, op-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence. Jungkook entered you so roughly that you cried out in pain, your body unable to adapt to him this quickly. Even he couldn’t contain himself any longer, moaning loudly when he felt your walls so tightly around him. “F-fuck…” Was all he said before you stopped him from talking by moving your hips teasingly. He yelped, his face scrunching up from the immense amount of pleasure that waved through his body. “Slow down!”

You didn’t listen, tightening your walls around him even more. His eyes rolled into his head, his legs almost collapsing from what you were doing to him. “Why, oppa?”

“You fucking brat,” he groaned. “I’ll show you.”

“Sure,” you laughed - regretting it immediately.

His fingers pressed into your ass, their nails digging into the delicate skin. You hummed in approval, the pain feeling more like pleasure after a second. He smiled devilishly - he was up to something. Two seconds later you realised what that something was. He rolled his hips into you - once, twice, again and again. He lifted your leg up to create a better angle for him to thrust into you, giving you the time you needed to take revenge by moving your hips around.

“Stop fucking moving!” He cried, a deep frown etched into his face. You dug your fingers into his shoulders, giggling softly at your sweet revenge. When he noticed, his eyes were filled with rage. “You’re not taking this seriously enough, babe. And you know what that means.”

With one rough thrust, he sent shivers down your spine that felt like a bolt of lightning. Before you knew it, he was pulling down your dress until one breast was visible, his eyes hungrily taking up what he saw. He placed his mouth on your nipple at the same time, his tongue teasing the soft skin with slow, calculated movements. You moaned from the pit of your stomach, feeling every inch of your body loose feeling except where he was touching you. Every time his hips crashed into you was heaven and hell at the same time, driving you to the edge much too quickly yet also just in time. His wet, warm tongue against your sensitive skin, his hand against your ass and the friction of his dick inside of you - all of this was culminating in the biggest orgasm you'd experienced in a long time. With your last willpower, you managed to say his name - his hips thrusting into you until he was filling you up completely one last time before you came.

When you finally regained your senses after a minute of having to force yourself to breathe in and out, so overwhelmed by what had happened that you barely had noticed that Jungkook came at the exact same moment as you, you looked at the man collapsed next to you once more. Your legs were freezing, yet it wasn't that bad after your bodies had collided.

“That was so fucking good,” you heard Jungkook mutter, pulling out with a sigh. “God, you're good.”

You stroked his hair absentmindedly, agreeing with him through this. “Is that right… oppa?”

He looked up, raising one eyebrow at you. “You haven't learned, have you? It's Mister Jeon to you.”

“Sure it is, Jungkook.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell that he didn't care anymore.

“Maybe I'll have to punish you again sometime soon.”

You laughed. “I'll make sure to drive too fast again, then.”

“Good, because I can't wait to do this again.”

You couldn't, either.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Distract me Rio: Don't I always? Rio: But what am I contending against now Buster: I'm in a mood I don't wanna be in Buster: Give me a different one Rio: Okay Rio: What have I got to give hmm Buster: Well, if you're not giving it everything, firstly who are you and secondly, what's the point, like Rio: Ahh that kind of mood is it Rio: Still gotta work on that vagueness Rio: I come at you with a sob story you're not gonna be happy are ya Buster: I'd tell you to get in line, babe Buster: Chlo's already been woe's me-ing my way Rio: Behind her? I think the fuck not Rio: That sounds like a laugh a minute Rio: Want a drink? Buster: Yeah Buster: But I've still got work to do Rio: Hmm Rio: Guess there's time for me to be your private barmaid 'til I have to go do it forreal Rio: taking your work out being out of the question Buster: You really like seeing me nerding out in those dark corners, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: soooo hot Rio: can't be distracting me and showing me up, like Buster: Yes I can Buster: From here or in person Buster: It's a talent, I know Rio: 😏 Rio: Not one you can put on your personal statement Buster: I mean, I could Buster: Does anyone actually read 'em? Rio: I assume so Rio: Or you just namedrop your School n 'rents in the interview? Buster: They'd wanna read this one, it'd be some best seller shit if I started talking about us Rio: Fifty Shades got nothing on us, babe 😂 Buster: You're laughing but it's true Buster: Have you read that shit? It's awful Rio: Yeah, even if the dude is daddy Rio: no saving how boring the bitch and sex is Buster: Shut up, he ain't special Rio: Tell him how you really feel, babe Rio: He wouldn't have to ask me nicely though Buster: 😒 Buster: When I said change my mood, not what I meant, like Rio: Awh baby Rio: You're still my favourite Buster: Whatever Rio: Not whatever Rio: Lemme make it up to you so I can be your favourite again Buster: How? Rio: You tell me Rio: That's how you've got it, baby, not playing around Rio: I take this very seriously 🥇 Buster: Damn Buster: Tell me you miss me Rio: I miss you so much Rio: and it's crazy because I've only just left you, it's like I can still feel you in every bruise Buster: Good 'cause I swear I can still taste you Buster: So the drink can wait Rio: Jesus Rio: I really really miss you now Buster: Yeah? Buster: Don't sugarcoat it for me, babe, I wanna know exactly how that feels Buster: If I'm gonna make it better I need to know how bad it is, like Rio: So bad it hurts Rio: if I show you where will you kiss it better for me, daddy? Buster: Of course, baby Rio: [Vid] Rio: See? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Do you? Or do you need me to send more to clear things up? Buster: Honestly, who can be sure Buster: I think I need more to go on Rio: [Video of her getting closer] Rio: Please, I'm getting desperate here, babe Buster: I can see that Buster: Tell me what you need Rio: You Buster: [sends own vid] Buster: You've got me, babe Rio: I need to feel you Rio: like, right fucking now Buster: Where are you? Rio: Out doing the shop Rio: Way to ruin the mood Rio: but if I don't do it, Indie eats shit/would die so 🤷 Buster: Weed isn't actually counted towards your 5 a day, unlucky kid Buster: That's okay, the app will save you and the mood Rio: And not even she's gonna consume 5 edibles in a go Rio: I hope Rio: 😻 Rio: Get me ready for you baby Buster: I can do better than that Buster: You'll be begging for me, babe Buster: See? Rio: Mmm Rio: I certainly feel it Buster: Good Buster: What about this? Rio: Jesus Rio: the noises I'm holding back rn Rio: remember I'm in public Buster: I haven't forgotten Buster: Why do you think I'm going this hard? Rio: Buster Rio: I can't Buster: Yes you can, babe Buster: Do it for me Rio: I'm seriously going to do it for you right here if you don't stop Rio: Fuck me Buster: That's the plan Buster: I'm gonna keep fucking you until you cum for me, I don't care where you are Rio: When I get there, you gon' clean up the mess you made of me? Buster: You know it Buster: Not an amateur, like Rio: How does it feel knowing you own this pussy, baby? Buster: There's nothing better, trust me Rio: Good because there's nothing better than cumming for you Buster: Except with me Buster: So hurry back Rio: Boy you know what to do to get me hurrying Buster: Yeah Rio: I swear to God Rio: Gonna need to go the frozen aisle to cool tf down Buster: Bring me some ice Buster: Can have a lot of fun with that Rio: This is why I love you Buster: Say it again Rio: I love you Rio: So much Buster: I love you too Rio: Okay, if the little old ladies didn't hate me before Rio: the looks I'm getting Buster: I'd say sorry but we both know I ain't Buster: At all Rio: You know I want it Buster: I love hearing you say it though Rio: You don't need to ask nice, or ask at all Rio: I need you so bad I'll tell you that and more Buster: I need you too Buster: Right fucking now Rio: You know how good you make me feel Rio: I wanna make you feel this good always Buster: So come here Buster: I'll do your shop online for you and make them deliver it Rio: Ask me one more time Buster: Rio, come here Buster: Come fuck me Rio: Yes daddy Rio: I'm gonna ride that dick so hard Buster: You better Rio: You know no one else can do you like I can Buster: Yeah I do but I still want you to show me Rio: Well, you're gonna have the best view, babe Rio: 📸 if you need reminding Buster: Jesus Rio: If you gotta miss me, do it right Buster: You're so perfect Rio: Buster, I seriously love you Buster: I know Buster: It's the same for me Buster: Yeah, I love myself but that's not what I mean Rio: 😂 Can't blame you baby you're just Rio: damn Rio: I wish you didn't have to leave Buster: Me too Buster: But I'll be back for Christmas hols Rio: I know Rio: I wish you never had to leave though Rio: Get the 'cuffs Buster: I'm not gonna say no to that Buster: But seriously, one day, babe Rio: Yeah Rio: I can't wait Buster: And then I'll wake you up every morning in your fave way Rio: 🤤 Rio: God don't leave me okay Buster: Never Rio: Never? Buster: Never, baby Rio: I don't know how this happened Buster: Does it matter? Rio: No but Rio: headfuck Buster: Do you want me to shut up? Rio: No Rio: I like it Rio: I'm just thinking and talking Rio: I never thought you'd mean this much to me Buster: I don't know whether to be impressed that you can still have coherent thoughts or offended that you didn't think I'd be the centre of your universe Buster: Rude Buster: Look at me Buster: Godlike Rio: Stop talking Rio: 😉 Buster: How many times can I say never in one convo Rio: If you're going for a record, I'll start asking the right questions Rio: Hey babe, when am I wrong? Buster: 😂 Rio: Harder than you think Rio: without dipping into the double negatives Buster: You're such a nerd Rio: Shut up 😂 Rio: You wish, get me doing your essays whilst you do me Buster: Let's do that Buster: It's a great plan Rio: You say that now but wait 'til you get your grade back 😏 Buster: Is that you trying to tell me I need to work on my technique, like Rio: Well now you mention it, like Rio: Nah 😂 Opposite, if you were shit I'd boss it, no distraction in it Buster: If I can study with you on my mind you can write an essay with me on you Buster: I believe it Rio: Would save me scouting Profs when you get to Uni Rio: Gimme that fantasy babe Buster: It's not gonna be a fantasy for long Buster: I've got deadlines, babe Buster: There's an essay right here for you Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I'm so whipped for you, I'll seriously do it Buster: I know you will Buster: And you'll do it well Rio: Yes sir Buster: You're killing me Rio: You reckon? Rio: [Pics] Because this is what you've done to me Buster: Fuck Rio: Gutted I'm too turned on to go anywhere but yours Rio: could pick up the schoolgirl costume, like Buster: Later Buster: I don't wanna wait any longer than I already have Rio: Punish me how you see fit for being late Buster: I will Rio: 😈 Rio: I'll try to hide how much I'm enjoying it Buster: Don't Buster: Show me everything Rio: Yes baby Rio: as long as you do too Buster: I couldn't stop myself if I had to Rio: Good Rio: Don't stop Buster: I won't Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear, babe Buster: I can't and I don't want to Rio: Then we've got a deal Rio: I'll knock up a draft whilst I'm at it Rio: feeling motivated Buster: Good

[mrbronzeskull]

Lmao answer them all and good luck ;)

I’m reblogging this, sans readmore, as it was brought to my attention that for at least one person, everything under that just didn’t show up. I humbly beg forgiveness for putting such a huge chunk of text on everyones dash.Spacey, you cheeky sod. I swear this is like the second time you’ve done this. (I both love and hate you for it) Here we fucking go: THIS TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO DO 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I don’t exactly get physical with folks so I have to assume it was my ex, several months ago.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy, Bi and ready to die3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?@gpumidnazora​, some day.4. Are you easy to get along with?I guess so? Not very argumentative, very quiet, tell bad jokes.5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I’d like to think so.6. What kind of people are you attracted to?All of them. More feminine aligned folks usually but super masc folks and androgynous peeps have totally taken my breath away too. Less general note, nerdy folk who I can obsess over something with. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?I mean, I’m in one now and while it does have a massive issue because of distance, I’d like to think we can tough it out.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My girlfriend.9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?A little, I get flustered easily if im not super close with folks.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Fuck, uh, myself? I often have super deep conversations that I should probably talk to a therapist or someone about just aloud to myself. But if that isnt an acceptable answer, @gpumidnazora​ takes the cake.11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“Oh hell, I thought I said hi when I got home and was all like ‘huh, she hasn’t replied, guess she’s already asleep” after I goofed up on letting my gf know I got home on time.12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?OH! I got one from just this morning! Let’s Face It I’m Cute by 11 Acorn Lane.Aside from that I’ve been all nostalgic lately so Mr Brightside by The KillersTeenage Dirtbag by WheatusGoodbye Stranger by SupertrampEverytime We Touch by Cascada13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes. Please do. I’m a big sucker for this. Or any physical affection really. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Miracles not so much but its real hard to not think of things as lucky or unlucky for me15. What good thing happened this summer?I got plenty of hours at work! 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope. No. Nuh. There’s two girls it might be and neither of those would be a good choice.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I mean, it’s literally either that or we are completely alone in the entire universe. Which seems far more terrifying to me. So yeah. But I’m always thinking like microbial or basic life, rather than you know, aliens replete with UFOs and such.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Nah, havent talked to her in years.19. Do you like bubble baths?I almost always shower, too big for the bath really.20. Do you like your neighbors?Fuck dude I dont even know my neighbours21. What are you bad habits?God, what isnt? Nail biting, snacking, bad sleep schedule, shower delays, then too long in the shower, generally messy22. Where would you like to travel?Canada, Tokyo, America, Brazil, Europe, New Zealand. Anywhere with snow23. Do you have trust issues?Yes? I’m not all that open. Until I am and it’s like BAM HERE’S MY ENTIRE LIFE STORY which is too much typically.24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Jerkin’ it just soooo right. Kidding. Mostly. Anytime cuddling my cat while catching up on Youtube videos is great.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My back. just all of that. Beats out the chewed nails and the flab and the face any time.26. What do you do when you wake up?Regret27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Darker. But I’m such a shut in so that aint happening. Least it looks alright next to my paper white sister28. Who are you most comfortable around?Myself. Or my good friend Emily Mac, the @keepingitreluctant​ that you all know and love29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?One, and boy that was a fucking nightmare of a time.30. Do you ever want to get married?Not really? I mean, tax benefits are nice but I don’t care for it much.31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Nah, or at least it’s the shittiest ponytail ever, though my hair is the longest it’s probably ever been.32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?I’d take a spin with pretty much anyone because dang most of them are hella good looking plus all that money you could earn through scandalous details afterwards. 33. Spell your name with your chin.zxzbnldyu. Perfect, nailed it. Funnily enough it’s pronounced ‘Ashley’34. Do you play sports? What sports?I played, emphasis on the ‘ed’, soccer (football) and tennis and fencing!35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV, easy. I listen to music way more than I watch TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Who hasn’t? Though I have an awful habit of fallin in love with folks when I see them if they catch my eye. All the time. Everyone just looks so dang good and cute.37. What do you say during awkward silences?I’m more of a creator of awkward silences than an ender. Yay for being bad at simple conversation.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Aw jeez. I mean I’m tempted to earn brownie points by just describing my lovely girlfriend. But if I had to draw up an ideal, I guess just a real sweet cutie who’s down for cuddling and playing games, preferably nice and short, all adorable and fun sized! Short hair is a plus.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?I don’t shop often. So I guess Robinsons bookshop, EB games and Zing? is that the name of that store filled with ‘nerdy’ junk that’s like partnered with EB?40. What do you want to do after high school?Fuck man I went through high school not knowing and I still have no idea41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I give so many second chances. Multiple.  But it does depend on the action. If you hurt me, no matter how much or how often, I’ll let it slide (possibly because I have 0 self respect) but if you fuck with my mates or are just a despicable person in general I will only give you a couple chances.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m almost always pretty quiet. but if i go silent mid conversation it probably means I’m trying to turn something that just got said into a really lame dad joke.43. Do you smile at strangers?yes and no. If I’m interacting with them or like they pass by and its only the two of us I’ll happily put on a (hopefully not creepy) smile but I won’t have a smile plastered on my face walking through a crowd.44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space. Definitely. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?At the moment, the need to get to work46. What are you paranoid about?People finding out about the murders This and that, usual dark secrets.47. Have you ever been high?Yup and it was eh, I laughed at all sorts of junk but I got serious cottonmouth and had all sorts of gaps in my memory, even worse than normal which was scary.48. Have you ever been drunk?Plenty of times and I think I’m probably 50/50 on if i threw up or not.49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Recently? I did get Maccas for dinner and pretend that I wasnt hungry when I got home after a rough day at workLess recently I fucked up in a life changing way that no one else knows of and I don’t know what to do about that.50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Black51. Ever wished you were someone else?Again, who hasn’t? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Add a couple zeros to the end of my bank balance would be nice. But physically? Clean up my fucking back. 53. Favourite makeup brand?Afraid I really don’t know anything about any of them enough to make a judgement call. 54. Favourite store?Zing (im sticking with that name, fuck it) is fun to just chill in55. Favourite blog?God so many, you are all too great!56. Favourite colour?Turquoise 57. Favourite food?A good steak is hard to turn down58. Last thing you ate?Rice and mince.59. First thing you ate this morning?A caramel Up&Go to wash down some pills.60. Ever won a competition? For what?I’m more of a second place kinda person. Or was. It’s all been going downhill for a while in academic or sporting respect.61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?I almost got suspended/expelled after a particularly nasty and widespread tidbit rumour went around about me.62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.63. Ever been in love?I think so. I’m the kinda guy to say it pretty early. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Uh, I took my girlfriend of the time out to a roller skating rink, I couldn’t skate for shit and I couldnt look her in the eyes without turning away and blushing. Let alone hold a conversation. But afterwards she was kind enough to deign to grant me a kiss in the parking lot.65. Are you hungry right now?Nope, I’m good.66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I talk to you guys just as much as them nowadays. But I would say I’m closer to them than anyone on tumblr, no offense. 67. Facebook or Twitter?Uh I have both but don’t use them.68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr hands down, this is like my only social network platform69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope70. Names of your bestfriends?Emma, Emily, Hayley, Imogen, Lucinda, Ebony71. Craving something? What?Getting intimate with a guy, just accepting my bisexuality recently has kinda kicked that into overdrive. And now I’m blushin.72. What colour are your towels?We’ve got white, black and turquoise72. How many pillows do you sleep with?One73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Not in about 10 years.74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?I wouldnt have a clue how many stuffed animals from when I was younger are still tucked away in the house75. Favourite animal?Meerkat.76. What colour is your underwear?Black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?probably vanilla79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Black80. What colour pants?No pants!81. Favourite tv show?Brooklyn Nine Nine or Bojack Horseman82. Favourite movie?Iron Giant? Road to El Dorado? Spaceballs? Something nostalgic83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?There’s a second?84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Uh, fuck I dont remember the names. The lovely lesbian lass. She was great.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Bruce.87. First person you talked to today?My girlfriend88. Last person you talked to today?Verballly, my mum, text wise, my girlfriend89. Name a person you hate?Donald Motherfuckign Trump, I mean hating trump is as common as breathing air as it should be but man he’s such a fucking disgusting cunt.90. Name a person you love?My parents.91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?God I have spent many an hour dreaming of socking Trump right in that bullshit spewing mouth92. In a fight with someone?Not currently. Or at least, the feud is still open and so old it isn’t a fight anymore.93. How many sweatpants do you have?Two?94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Two?95. Last movie you watched?Moana 96. Favourite actress?Ellen Page is up there for sure97. Favourite actor?Chris Pratt98. Do you tan a lot?Ha, most of my body isnt aware what the sun is99. Have any pets?Boy do I. 2 cats and 5 dogs. 10 chooks.100. How are you feeling?A tad tired.101. Do you type fast?Pretty average 102. Do you regret anything from your past?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA My memory is a whole lot of regrets floating in a void of forgotten moments.103. Can you spell well?W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past?A past best friend of mine.105. Ever been to a bonfire party?I’ve hosted a couple and been invited to one106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I doubt it. Not exactly the type. (devastatingly good looking and/or callous)107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yup, wasn’t the thing for me108. What should you be doing?Sleeping?109. Is something irritating you right now?Well I’m now being inundated by regretful thoughts so that’s a bother.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Nah. 111. Do you have trust issues?I feel like this was already asked. But yeah, I would say so.112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I haven’t cried in literal years. I don’t have a clue.113. What was your childhood nickname?It’s always just been Ash114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup, I’ve been all over the place115. Do you play the Wii?I have, but its been a hot minute116. Are you listening to music right now?Yeah, I had Let’s Face It I’m Cute up for the link and it just played a whole bunch of electroswing music on youtube, now on The Noisy Freaks by Freak Orchestra at least I think thats the name and band, I’ve never heard it before117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?sure118. Do you like Chinese food?Probably not my favorite, but it’s nice119. Favourite book?Too many man, way too many. 120. Are you afraid of the dark?Not really.121. Are you mean?I don’t think so. I’m a weak willed pushover and generally benign and quiet122. Is cheating ever okay?Ugh, it’s not exactly commendable but like anything, it’s all circumstance123. Can you keep white shoes clean?I have white runners, which remain clean by the virtue of me never exercising.124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Not actually, but like i said before I get infatuated on sight all the time.125. Do you believe in true love?Not really.126. Are you currently bored?Buddy, my existence is being bored.127. What makes you happy?my pets.128. Would you change your name?I wanted to change my name to Seth when I was younger after years of “ashley is a girls name’ 129. What your zodiac sign?L1BR4130. Do you like subway?Yeah. it’s normally pretty tasty.131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I mean, I’m currently dating and so is she so that would be a mess, but I doubt much would come of it.132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Ok im 90000% sure this was already asked.133. Favourite lyrics right now?“No matter what I conjure it could not help me deflect/ The angry death, of every hopeful thought/ that I might be a lover or a fighter…”134. Can you count to one million?I suppose I could. Like I have the capacity. But I’d get bored and give the fuck up without good reason to do so135. Dumbest lie you ever told?fuck me, I lie, alot, it’s my go to defense. Which is bad. but whatever. Probably the one where I skipped tennis training and claimed that I was going to extra french lessons instead, which was immediately called out by the French teacher.136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed. keep the cat in and the dogs out137. How tall are you?175 ish cms, which is 5′10″ i think138. Curly or Straight hair?Straight, despite threats of it getting curly should  I let it get longer than a college cut.139. Brunette or Blonde?Wait is this asking preferences. fuck. Uh, Brunette? I’m not fussed by hair colour. though I’d probably avoid redheads just because my mum and one sister are redheads 140. Summer or Winter?WINTER141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?October? it’s got my birthday!143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk145. Tea or Coffee?meh, not fussed either way146. Was today a good day?sure! I got to start work 2/3 hours later than normal after a fucking killer three days.147. Mars or Snickers?Mars? I dont eat a lot of either148. What’s your favourite quote?I dont really have one off-hand149. Do you believe in ghosts?not really.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Captain Thomas Kelly, from the forty-sixth Precinct, said; ‘It looks accidental. Grant may have suspected that his familiarity with Damien place him above danger, but a hungry python does not quibble about such niceties’”I know its more than a line, but that’s a hilarious quote. 

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

AK Monthly Recap: June 2017

It feels like my first real summer in New York this year. Last year I spent a lot of time away — big trips to South Africa and Colombia, plus I left for the Fourth of July and Labor Day. But this year I’m determined to fully experience the city in the summer.

The verdict?

Summer in New York sucks.

Don’t get me wrong, I still adore this city — but summer is not when it’s at its best. The scent of urine in the air is particularly pungent. Standing on a subway platform is like being in a furnace. Layers upon layers of grime and sweat build up on your face. And the only way to truly cool off is to go somewhere inside with air conditioning.

Still, I’d rather be here than anywhere else.

Destinations Visited

New York, New York

Reading, Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, and Chelsea, Massachusetts

Asheville, North Carolina

Favorite Destination

Asheville is one of my new favorite getaways in the United States!

Highlights

Getting named one of Forbes‘ Top 10 Travel Influencers. A huge honor, a big surprise, and easily the highlight of my month.

Asheville was a fabulous trip. I fell in love with the city, its food scene and the lovely people who call Asheville home. I won’t get too into it because I just wrote the whole post about it, but it was lovely. I’d really like to go back and experience more.

Celebrating my dad’s birthday and Father’s Day on a beer tour of Boston. My sister arranged for the three of us to do a tour with City Brew Tours, which took us to four breweries around the area. It was a lot of fun! If you’re into beer, I would definitely recommend checking them out. They’re in several cities.

We finished with dinner at Myers and Chang, a favorite Boston restaurant of my sister’s and one I shockingly had never been to. They serve fusion Chinese-Thai-Vietnamese-Taiwanese fare and definitely lived up to the hype.

Seeing Allison Janney on Broadway in Six Degrees of Separation. Unfortunately, the play recently closed, but it was SO good! Hilarious and weird in all the right ways. Allison Janney elevates every project she’s in, but she’s almost always in supporting roles, so it was so nice to see her as the lead.

Exploring some new parts of New York. I did a trip to Little Italy in the Bronx and I know I’m going to be making more trips for the outstanding bocconcini (bite-sized mozzarella) at Casa della Mozzarella! I also checked out Coney Island, but it was rainy and a bit depressing.

Lots of visits from British friends. Three sets of blogger and travel industry friends from the UK came to New York this month! I was happy to see them. Sometimes it feels like the European travel bloggers don’t come to the States at all, so I was thrilled to spend time with them here.

I chopped my hair off. Not too too much, but I did lose a good six inches! I also re-colored it. I’ve been wrestling with whether or not to return to my dark natural color — has the blonde run its course?

Getting my first Stitch Fix and Trunk Club boxes. I’ve been wanting to change up my fashion lately and I was curious about the online services that choose clothes for you, so I decided to try out Stitch Fix and Trunk Club.

They’re similar. Stitch Fix sends you five items; Trunk Club sends you ten. Both charge a styling fee ($20 at Stitch Fix, $25 at Trunk Club) which you can put toward your purchase. Also, Stitch Fix gives you a 25% discount if you buy all five items. Stitch Fix sends you styling ideas with the items; Trunk Club pairs you with a personal stylist you use each time.

Between the two services I definitely prefer Trunk Club. The clothes were much higher quality and fit me better. I like building a relationship with one stylist, and the clothes are all from Nordstrom, which I love. If I had a bigger budget, I would have bought more of the items (but I can’t justify spending $147 on a flannel, even if it looks awesome on me).

I did end up with two pieces I love — cool distressed skinny jeans with a fringed hem from Stitch Fix and a fabulous coral lace dress from Trunk Club. I’m definitely going to continue with Trunk Club.

Challenges

I got stuck in delay hell in Charlotte. There were storms in New York when I was due to fly back from Asheville, and my flight kept getting delayed and re-delayed every hour, then cancelled, then I got booked on the last seat on another flight home. I was supposed to be home by 4:00 PM; I didn’t get home until 1:30 AM.

It would have been so much better if the delay had been all at once, not an hour at a time!

Also, my phone has started to fall apart, but I really don’t want to get a new one when the new update is a few months away…it’s running on borrowed time.

There were also a few setbacks this month that I’d rather not go into. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a viewing of Dead Man On Campus.

Most Popular Post

On Influence, and Using It Wisely — We have an obligation to our followers to do as much good as we can.

Other Posts

14 Reasons Why I’m Smitten with Asheville, North Carolina — 4,000 words about my weekend in Asheville.

In Odessa, Romance and Grandeur — I seriously fell hard for the Ukrainian city of Odessa.

Six Ways to Travel More Sustainably — We could all stand to do better.

Bucharest is Fabulous and Fun — All the best things I enjoyed in this cool city.

Most Popular Instagram Photo

People love a good door. This shot from Cartagena did well. For more updates from my travels, follow me on Instagram at @adventurouskate. I am soooo close to hitting 100k…

Fitness Update

I had the most unlucky week at the gym this month. On Tuesday, I had to quit a fitness class halfway through for the first time ever. It was Tabata (a series of drills where you do 20 seconds of exercise followed by 10 seconds of rest) and though there isn’t much I can’t do for 20 seconds, it was so exhausting that I was seeing stars and felt like I was going to faint. Leaving the room and sitting down made me feel better, but I didn’t go back.

Also, fuck burpees. I hate them so much.

Then on Wednesday my Zumba instructor was a no-show (first time that’s ever happened), so I decided to attempt running on the treadmill instead, and though I was doing a modest two minutes of running at 6 mph followed by one minute of walking at 4 mph, I felt a twinge in my knee and had to stop. I couldn’t do stairs without pain (not fun in NYC).

Then on Friday I mixed up the times, again for the first time ever, and was late to Zumba. Oh well. At least I had my personal training session right after and I’m lifting more weight than I was last month!

What I Read This Month

We’re officially halfway through the year and I’m 36 books into the 52-book 2017 Popsugar Reading Challenge! I actually read eight books this month, four of them from Book of the Month (where you can get a new book for three months for $9.99 each — US only). Here we go.

Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk by Kathleen Rooney (2017) — This is my favorite novel of the year so far. Lillian Boxfish is based on the life of Margaret Fishback, America’s highest paid female copywriter of the 1930s. Lillian takes a walk through gritty Manhattan on New Year’s Eve 1984, meets characters along the way, and reminisces about her life. It was as much of a love letter to a transforming New York as it was a story of an incredible life. I absolutely loved the author’s use of language.

If you are an independent woman, a writer, or a New Yorker, you must read this book. If you like smart books and memorable characters, you’ll adore this book. As the book ended, I felt so sad — I wish I could go for a walk with Lillian in real life! Category: a book set around a holiday other than Christmas.

The Explorer and Other Stories by Jyrki Vainonen (2013) — Did you know that “Finnish weird” is a genre of literature? They don’t use literary agents in Finland, so they’re less commercially minded and thus publish a lot of strange literature. I love Finland, so I was eager to jump in!

These stories are weird. “The Explorer” is about a man who decided to journey into his wife’s thigh. That kind of stuff. I found this collection of Vainonen’s stories similar to Ottessa Moshfegh’s Homesick for Another World, but not as repulsive. At 92 pages, it’s a quick read. If you’re planning a trip to Finland, pick this book up! Category: a book from a genre/subgenre you’ve never heard of.

The Mothers by Brit Bennett (2016) — Three teenagers growing up in an evangelical black church in San Diego make a decision that haunts them for years after and throws them into turmoil. The book centers on motherhood — characters’ mothers, how they mother each other, and the book is narrated by a chorus of mothers in the congregation.

I loved this book — and at the same time, it made me so sad for each of the characters. I wanted to take care of all of them in the end. The book is also a study on how evangelical communities too often blame the woman when anything goes wrong in a family. Category: a book with a family-member term in the title.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (2016) — What a magnificent book. Lush, cinematic, and beautiful. Count Rostov, a 30-year-old aristocrat, is sentenced to house arrest for the rest of his life in the grand Metropol hotel in Moscow. Through this predicament he tries to find beauty and meaning however he can as Russia changes exponentially — and the results are deeply moving.

I want this book to become a movie SO badly! It sounds a lot like The Grand Budapest Hotel, but so many of the scenes are described so beautifully, and the dialogue is incredibly witty. I definitely had a crush on the Count at one point. This book will leave you with the biggest smile on your face. Category: a book set in a hotel.

Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin (1825) — This was my book club’s pick of the month — a Russian novel written in verse! Eugene Onegin is a man sent from the city to the country following a relative’s death, and he has a number of adventures in life and love. The entire book is written in verse, and I was very impressed with the translation.

It’s funny, it’s light, it’s delightful, and it’s something different. It did help to go through Wikipedia after reading each chapter and seeing what I missed, though. Between this and A Gentleman in Moscow, I’ve awakened a new interest in Russian literature and culture. My friends and I want to celebrate this book in Russian style at our next meetup — so we might go to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn (a.k.a. Little Odessa) or just hit up a vodka bar with a walk-in freezer! Category: a book with a title that’s a character’s name.

A Million Junes by Emily Henry (2017) — This is the closest I get to a summer read — a bright and fun book best enjoyed if you let go a little bit. Two teenagers in a rural Michigan town are the surviving progeny of two feuding families — and they’re cursed. Of course, they fall in love and try to undo the curse with the help of several ghosts.

At first I was rolling my eyes and thought the teenagers were too witty for their own good, Gilmore Girls-style, but once I let go, I began to enjoy the book a lot more. The book isn’t just an adventure, it’s also about dealing with grief and how you move on and live your life while honoring those you’ve lost. To my surprise, it’s one of the highest rated Book of the Month selections this year. Category: a book with a month or day of the week in the title.

The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master, translated by Daniel Ladinsky (1999) — I’ve been curious about Persian poetry for awhile, so when I found a shelf devoted to Persian poetry at Malaprop’s in Asheville, I decided to pick up this volume. And what a surprising treasure it was.

Hafiz’s poetry is about celebrating the love of God — a funny, compassionate, deeply loving and giving God. The kind of God who is on your side, your best friend, cheering for you and helping you. I actually found out later that this is one of Elizabeth Gilbert’s all-time favorite books; knowing her brand of spirituality, I’m not surprised at all! If you want more poetry in your life, I highly recommend picking up this book or any of Hafiz’s poetry. Category: a book by an author who uses a pseudonym.

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha (2016) — I was recently putting together a list of my all-time favorite memoirs and was shocked to realize that almost none were written by women of color. I read a lot of books by women of color, but they tend to be fiction, so I’m making an effort to add some more memoirs to my list. If you have any recommendations, I’d love to hear them; Roxane Gay’s Hunger is next.

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha grew up in Worcester, Mass., and this book is about her emigration to Canada, her discovery and celebration of her queer, brown, working class identity; her difficulties with disability; her struggles through severe poverty; and her coming to terms with her sexual abuse. This book covers so many perspectives that aren’t featured in mainstream literature, and for that reason alone this book is worth a read. She tells her story frankly and apologetically, and the scenes are richly painted (especially the South Asian queer events in Toronto). Category: a book by or about a person with a disability.

What I Watched This Month

It was time for my annual House of Cards binge, and it was awesome. It wasn’t my favorite season (that’s a tie between Season 1 and Season 4), but House of Cards on an off season is still better than most shows on television.

Just one thing — without revealing any spoilers, they mentioned a possibility related to the election that would have been SO cool to see play out, so unusual and dramatic that I was certain they were going to do it — and then they didn’t do it. It felt like Chekhov’s gun to me, and they ultimately did nothing with it.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt was nice, if a bit off, this season. Of course, I loved the addition of Hamilton‘s Daveed Diggs to the cast! (And the “Boobs of California” song has yet to leave my head.)

Also — I saw Wonder Woman. SO good. It amazed me how remarkable and yet ordinary it felt to watch a feminist superhero movie with the male gaze removed.

Coming Up in July 2017

I’m heading back to the Keys! Florida Keys Tourism invited me to come back and try out some things I didn’t get to experience on my February trip. The Keys are one of my favorite new discoveries in the States lately; I’m glad I get to go back so soon. What am I most excited for? The Hemingway lookalike contest in Key West! I’ll be concentrating on Key Largo and Key West this time around.

And now I’m even more glad that I didn’t end up writing a post on where to find the best key lime pies in the Keys because I have time to do more research! Delicious, delicious research…

Other than that, I’m likely staying put in New York the rest of the month, but I’d love to get in some day trips around the region. There are boats that go direct to Jersey shore towns from Manhattan, and I’d love to get to City Island in the Bronx as well.

What are you up to this summer? Share away!

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