#how can i tell that this number i'm calling is even in-service anymore. or if this number is even the office's number at all?
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bruuhhhhh, looking for mental health counseling is EXHAUSTING wtf
#so now i see why i didnt do this shit this winter bc holy hell#i have been calling around and emailing ppl for like the better part of 2 weeks now#jfc#no matter who i seem to call or email#they just..... either have conflicting hours with my own schedule or they sound Bad. over the phone#im trying to avoid god awful therapists but man is that kinda hard#esp as a queer individual in my area this shit ain't easy#i submitted a new patient form on an office's website that looks pretty promising tho? i think??#I HOPE?!#they at the very least seem to be lgbtq+ friendly. like. damn i mean thats really the bare minimum nowadays but#anyways#i emailed another person just now to see if i can get a consult with her but man........ these emails dont look right bro#lord this is like trying to navigate a fucken landmine-filled field#ugh#this sucks man#why are we as a nation so fucking behind mental health services that entire counseling offices exist but they're not even listed on google#DO THEY exist anymore? WHO KNOWS!!#how can i tell that this number i'm calling is even in-service anymore. or if this number is even the office's number at all?#shit's bleak out here. glad i waited until summertime and after i sorted my health insurance stuff out#bc i canNOT see myself doing this mid-january#fuck that#clown horn
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The Story Max Jagerman Never Got to Tell (Silly Goofy things I think about if Max didn't die and had gotten a redemption arc)
So I like to think that he is very slow going at the whole being nice to people thing. Like outside of the main 5 he is still very much the Literal Monster, and even within the main friend group still verbally bullies them he just isn't physically hurting them anymore. As he learns and grows with them, he gets better. First learning to treat his friends on the football team better, and eventually tolerating the other nerds. He still slips up occasionally and says things in the moment that he regrets later, but he's learning to apologize when that happens.
I think once he finds out that the prank was Grace's idea, he is convinced that it was Grace secretly letting him know that she liked him back. He proceeds to start full on courting her: he walks to all her classes, he buys her flowers on special occasions, she even has special privileges to go to the football games (still early on in character development). One day when she goes, he introduces himself to her parents, and the Chastitys make it clear that no one outside of the church can date their daughter. So Max converts. Or at least tries to. He can never grasp his head around all the rules, and by the end of the week, he has decided that it's better if he and Grace are just friends.
At first, he mostly uses Pete as a free tutoring service. He's upset that Pete won't just let him cheat off of him like he did with Steph, but it doesn't even take Max that long to figure out why Steph is different. He makes Pete a deal that he will let him date Steph if Pete cheats for him. Pete talks him down to tutoring with the promise that if it doesn't work, then he will help Max cheat. It turns out that Pete is actually a really good teacher. Max also has certain learning disabilities (I'm gonna go with dyscalculia since we know he's in remedial algebra) that never went addressed since his dad refused to get him tested. Pete is able to show Max techniques that help, and once Max's head no longer hurts from looking at numbers too long, he begrudgingly admits that it's not so bad. Pete also notices that the halls are little quieter before and after Max's math class now.
He never really hung out with Steph that much before. They knew each other and flew in the same circles, but they never really talked before. Max definitely learns how not-okay his dad is by seeing how Steph's dad treats her. As they get closer, he starts getting madder and madder about how the Mayor talks about her. It takes a long time for him to reflect on what he's saying and realizes that his advice works on him too. Him and Steph start bonding over their horrible dads and help each other out when home gets to be a lot.
Ruth is the one that it is the hardest for him to vibe with. While the others he either finds something kinda cool about or can use, Ruth is...Ruth. He doesn't actively bully her anymore, but he doesn't go out of his way to be around her either. He does inadvertently teach her how to be cool though. It's not intentional, but he is less willing to put up with Ruth's whining about how unlovable she is than the others. One day, he starts yelling back to her that maybe if she wasn't constantly complaining about never having anyone around her, then maybe more people would want to be around her. The others call him out for being out of line, but it starts a path for Ruth about learning to be more confident in herself.
I think Richie is the first one to be onboard with the whole 'Max is suddenly chill with us' thing. He's seen enough anime to know a redemption arc when he sees one. He also has a more intense look on Max's growth being around him so much as the mascot. He's the first one to reach out to Max about coming over and watching some anime with him. Max is unsure at first, but Richie convinces him that Attack on Titan actual is really cool and has a lot of blood and guts and fighting in it, so Max agrees as long as Richie doesn't tell anyone what they're doing. Max actually does get really into it, but Richie notices that he seems pay more attention to the "found family" aspects and the character interactions than the fight scenes. He gives Max DVDs that he can watch on his own if he wants: a combination of shows and movies about sports, fighting, and some introspective character pieces as well.
Max also spends the most time at Richie's house than the others. Not necessarily because he prefers Richie, but because Richie has the most chill homelife (the Chastity's still bug him about coming back to church, Steph's dad reminds him to much of home, and Ruth's parents are convinced that he and Ruth are dating. Pete is a close second, but his weird older brother is over a lot, and Max just gets a bad vibe from him). He will just casually pop into Richie's window some nights and say that they are going to watch anime. Richie agrees obviously, but he also wonders what else is going on. It's only after a really personal episode of My Hero Academia that Max lets slip about his dad.
In short, Max Jagerman has so much potential, and it is a shame that he has been doomed by the narrative to never show it.
#might write this out as a full fic later#but i'm already working on like 3 so#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#max jagerman#grace chasity#stephanie lauter#ruth fleming#richie lipschitz
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I don't know I just feel like....
We just watched a man self-immolate in his military uniform. And I don't want to sound like an idiot, because it's much more than this but, couldn't you say that was a very extreme form of conscientious objection?
He could not be complicit anymore, but there is literally no way out of being complicit in this genocide if you live in America. For him especially, being trapped in military service. But for all of us. All of us are trapped in complicity in some way, and we can try to counteract that sin with as much meaningful direct action as we can possibly do, but all of that action comes with some proportional level of risk.
So, a man burned himself alive in an extreme form of conscientious objection (the only form available to him - one of great violence)
And people are still on here telling people to suck it up and vote for Biden.
I just... maybe I'm really stupid and I just can't see the logic y'all are putting forward. Because the way you lay it out it all seems to make so much sense to you. I understand we're trapped in a two party system. I understand the Republicans don't have the same consciences we do and are gonna vote en masse for Trump. I understand Trump is a danger globally and domestically. I understand all that, and I don't want his second term to come to pass. I'm not ignorant of how dangerous he is.
But a man self-immolated to object to the system of complicity he's trapped in, and the most logical response y'all have to a bunch of people wanting to opt out of complicity in this election, and the next four years of horrors that will be done in their name is to tell them, you just have to suck it up and be complicit. Your only tool is to make a phone call. You can try to protest, but there's a non-zero chance you'll be beaten and arrested and have your life ruined, by the way. You can donate to try and put a bandaid on the horrors you're seeing through your phone screen everyday (and you should, but God it's sure not stopping anything). But you're not allowed to object to being complicit in the selection of the Genocider-In-Chief.
It's not going to stop the genocide. We know this. It's not going to stop the election. We know this. It's not going to change anything directly, and Trump is going to get elected (which he will either way. most people who would vote against him are doing it anyway, y'all are fighting a very very small online minority).
But a man self-immolated in his military uniform. He didn't think that act was going to directly stop aid from going to Israel, or stop the genocide, or destroy the US military industrial complex. He didn't think his one small (but extremely brave and impactful) act was going to solve everything. Everything that was going to happen is still going to happen just with one less man in uniform.
But it wasn't nothing. It didn't do nothing. It's not his fault that the military will keep on chugging. It's not his fault that things are getting worse in Gaza every day. But he's not complicit anymore and he sent a message. And he had to die to achieve that.
And y'all are telling us we can't even do the very small act of not being complicit in the presidency. It's a less effective act of protest, but I also don't have to die for it.
It's not a boycott (I've seen this strawman, i don't know why you think we think that). It's not going to "send a message to the government" (obviously, we're not ignorant). It's to the Party that runs these candidates, and makes money off of "pick us because we're not the other guy" then commits crimes against humanity. I don't want to roll over and be fucking complicit in that.
Parties and candidates look at those numbers. they see how many people voted for them last time and how many people this time.
They don't care about our voices, and our protests, and our emails. They care about donations, and they care about votes. That's it. That's all they look at. If the emails and the phone calls and the protests don't result in a drop in one of those two things, they don't fucking care.
I don't know. This is a long ass ramble, but I'm trying to work out my feelings about this. Because we can't opt out of paying taxes, we can't really opt out of the benefits of living and being born in the Global North, we can't opt out of work, we can't opt out of the military, we can't opt out of following the law without extreme violence being brought against us. We can't do a whole fucking lot besides call, email, donate, and protest in a way that doesn't get us beaten and arrested, and if you do get beaten and arrested, you'll be dealing with the legal consequences for years or potentially the rest of your life.
And a man burned himself to death to object but I can't withhold my vote???
#just saw a long ass post that asked the question “what is your objective”#and concluded if you don't have any leverage you should just do nothing#and i really really thought about it because it was very well thought out#but i just can't agree with the conclusion#yes find your leverage and use it#yes tailor your tactics to your objectives#but I'm not wrong to object to the system in the very limited ways that are available to me#i feel like I'm crazy#but I've spent this whole last term regretting breaking down and voting for biden last time when my morals told me not to#i don't think i can do it again#and it's not a baseless moral stance or a self-centered “i don't want to feel bad” one#it just doesn't make sense to me#maybe I'll feel guilty when trump wins and wish I'd chosen differently#but i think#I'll feel like this system didn't give me a choice#and I'd rather not let my voice be used to prop up genocide#than roll over and act like no choice is a choice#“people fought for your right to vote” then they fought for my right to opt out of that as well#I'm not good at outlining my logic but i hope if anyone actually sees this#you understand where I'm coming from
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HI BABY GAY!!!!! pls do all the ones with 5s in them pls and thank you !!!
5. Four turn ons- ummmm, smooth voice, intelligence, humor, and the ability to have rational discussions about things we disagree on without it devolving into an argument
15. Favorite quote- the first one that came to mind was the "it's rotten work" "not for me. Not if it's you"
25. Ever done a prank call? When I was like 12 sure
35. Favorite holiday? Halloween for sure
45. Where am I right now? At work sadly. So at a 7-11
50. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My younger brother!
51. How often do I wear a fake smile? Frequently? I work customer service. But ither than that not much
52. When was the last time I hugged someone? Last night? I hug my dad and stepmom at least once a day.
53. What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Would not be a problem. My partner and I are poly so. I'd probably be psyched? Bc I like the other girl too so
54. Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Nope. We cut those kinds of people right out ✂️✂️
55. What is something I disliked about today? My manager messed up the schedule so I'm going to have to stay later than planned tonight which sucks
56. If I could meet anyone on this Earth who would it be? Idk maybe Eichiro Oda
57. What do I think about most? Probably what I want to do with my life- like work wise.
58. What's my strangest talent? I'm pretty good at impressions? Other than that I'm not sure
59. Do I have any strange phobias? lizards. And anything that looks like a Lizard so like geckos and iguanas and oahdbaksb no no no thank you
65. Do I believe in luck? Absolutely. No other way you get born into a tax bracket you're stuck in for your whole life. At least for Americans.
75. What was I doing last night at 12am? Writing my pitchmas fic for Max @ridiculously-over-obsessed
85. What would be a question I'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Oooo probably something about my history of SH or similar topics I'd only like to talk with my therapist about
95. Ever left the house without my wallet? Nah
105. Ever been underweight? Also nah
115. Ever been in an airplane? Yes for the first time ever just a few weeks ago!
125. Ever rode in an ambulance? More times than I could probably remember
135. How many kids do I want and what will their names be? Don't really think I want kids.
145. Am I afraid of heights? Not really. Used to have really bad anxiety about it but not anymore
150. The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me? Paraphrasing but my mother told me I would never amount to anything other than a leech who lives off of other people
151. What I'd do if I won the lottery- buy my dad, myself, and my brother houses and cars. I'd donate a bunch of it. Ya know the usual
152. What do I like about myself? I'm generally a pretty empathetic person. Like I can understand what you're going through even if I haven't and extend care and compassion
153. My closest Tumblr friend- probably @hintatake, as we talk the most regularly!
154. Something I fantasize about- not having to work, being able to freely pursue academics without fear of cost.
Send me numbers
#asks#snowonebutyou#isa#ask game#thank you for the entertainment while im trapped at work#i wish my shift was over 😩
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im writing this because i realized i havent done any acesoap in a hot minute since i was so busy with House of Cards
me being an oc creator is so fun and its even more fun with canon x oc because i can just go
Johnny woke up with an uneasy feeling. He shifts under the covers but can't find the urge to sleep despite being exhausted the whole day. The room felt unnaturally cold. Johnny turns in bed to find Ace, thinking his boyfriend would give him solace from his discomfort.
Johnny would find that the side that Ace usually took up was empty. There was the distinct smell of the guy lingering in the sheets, but Ace seemed to have disappeared into thin air. Johnny sits up in bed.
Johnny strained his ears. Perhaps Ace just was on a late night bathroom visit. Johnny sat and listened. The air in Johnny's apartment was undisturbed. No movement shook the silent atmosphere, save for some crickets outside. The closing of the bathroom door and the creaking of the floorboards never came. Ace wasn't in the house anymore.
Now, Johnny was really freaking out. He jumps up from the bed and winces slightly when he meets the cold floor. Johnny carefully searches his whole house, more desperate when each room is empty.
All of Ace's stuff seemed to have gone too. Despite it being Johnny's place, Ace would have a toothbrush in the toilet, a sweater or two lying around and a mug for his tea in the cabinet. None of these things were in their places.
Johnny recalls the days leading up to now. Ace hadn't shown any signs of wanting to split up, and he was not one to pull such cruel pranks. Hell, Ace cuddled Johnny as they fell asleep last night as usual, always in each other's arms.
Tears pricked at Johnny's eyes, worry weighing his mind as to why Ace seemed to have just up and left in the middle of the night. Johnny reached for his phone to contact Ace. Johnny's fingers had never dialed Ace's number so fast. He put the phone to his ear, and was sent immediately told that the number was not in service.
What the, Johnny thought. That wasn't possible, since they had called and texted just last afternoon when Johnny called Ace over.
Johnny felt ashamed to call anyone else's help for his issue, unsure how to explain just how he lost his boyfriend. However, he was growing desperate. He dialed Gaz's number despite it being the ungodly hour of 3:28AM on a Saturday.
"This better be important.." Gaz's voice grumbled through the phone. Johnny couldn't be happier to hear his best mate's voice. He immediately spoke.
"Gaz, I dunnae where Ace is! I just woke up not too long ago and he's just gaen! A' his hings tae! Gaz, I-"
"Mate, slow down.. I can barely understand you.." Gaz groaned, interrupting Johnny's babbling. "Who's Ace?"
"Quit pumpin' aroond, Gaz! The man's gone and I need to know where he went-"
"Johnny, calm down. I can't help you if you're all freaked out.. Who's Ace?" Gaz asked, genuine confusion in his voice.
Johnny went quiet. Was Gaz serious? He stared at his phone in disbelief for a moment before putting it to his ear again. Maybe it was because Gaz just woke up.
"Ace? Mah boyfriend. He has a scar going around his neck! Our bleedin' CO!"
Johnny was met with silence from Gaz.
"Ace. Ace Doe! Our lieutenant? Kinda short, angry face, always has his shades on, and wears a hoodie everywhere? Gaz!" Johnny's voice cracked with desperation and panic.
"Johnny. As far as I'm concerned, Ghost's our only lieutenant."
"What?! No, Gaz, I'm serious here-"
"So am I!" Gaz hissed through the phone, quickly silencing Johnny. "..Sorry, lost my temper."
Gaz, on the other end of the line, could clearly tell Johnny was seriously distressed. Whoever this Ace is, was really important to Johnny, and also their lieutenant, apparently.
"Just calm down.. and we can talk to Price in the morning." Gaz says. Johnny, satisfied, thanked Gaz and put down the phone.
Johnny thought about calling Price directly, since he was the first to meet Ace anyway. He couldn't wait another few hours pondering the whereabouts of his love. Johnny dialed the captain's number.
"..ello?" Came the sleepy gruff of Price on the other end.
"Ace is missing." Johnny said in a shaky voice.
"..Who's Ace? Is Ace a dog?"
Johnny takes in another shaky breath, his lips trembling slightly.
"Nevermind.." Johnny strained.
"Well.. I hope you find him soon.." Price says, now confused, and ends the call.
Who is Ace?
This question would echo in Johnny's mind as he slinks back to bed. Exhaustion was catching up to him. He seemed more lonely than alone. It didn't exactly help when his friends didn't even know who he was talking about.
Johnny pulled back the sheets and slipped under the covers. The bed seemed colder than it ever has been with the absence of someone else. The bed smelled different, like someone else laid in it before Johnny did. He shifts a little, the indent in the bed seemingly not fitting him, but someone else instead. Someone else.
Someone else? Johnny pondered.
And it scares Johnny even more, knowing that he was supposed to know. He was supposed to know when remnants of this someone else was in his bed.
Hours passed and Johnny couldn't get a wink of sleep, but he didn't move when the sun shined in through the curtains. Instead, he found himself thinking.
Who is Ace?
#i wrote this in one sitting on the tumblr app#i just thought it was rude of me to take Ace for his own timeline#and i wanted to explore the different ace variants#house of cards and 141 versions of ace are different teachnically#but i cant show it how im thinking about it#im not exactly a good writer to do it#mailman rants#cod oc#call of duty oc#cod#call of duty#soap mactavish#cod mw soap#soap#AceSoap#oc: LT Ace
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"Jo, how're you doing?"
I'm glad you asked, person I made up to use as an excuse to rant!
Remember when I asked if anyone knew where I could still find some 3DS covers? I ordered one! One I really liked even! Shipping and import are fine, and soon I get the tracking number. Everything's fine.
Few days later tracking says my package has arrived at the inward office, is in customs, and soon off to continue its delivery journey. Everything's fine.
Two days later tracking says it's back in customs at the same inward office, and for several days nothing changes. I get nervous.
I decide to call the office via the number they show on their website. An automated response greets me: "This line is unmanned, please call [Other Number]."
I call Other Number. Another automated line greets me. "Are you calling for tracking?" Yes. "Are you the sender?" No. "Please speak the tracking number." [Tracking Number]. "Please speak the zipcode of the recipient." [Zipcode]. "We cannot give you tracking information at this time. Please call back during office hours."
THEN WHY MAKE ME GO THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS IF I CAN'T GET ANY INFORMATION CURRENTLY ANYWAY--
It's fine, this is fine. I get an idea and check the tracking number via the national tracking service instead of the one I got linked with my order. "Expected arrival September 4th."
Okay. I will give it until then and if it doesn't arrive on that day, I will call every number I can find until I get someone who can actually tell me ANYTHING about my package's status.
It does arrive on September 4th! I still need to pay customs (16,44€) to receive it but that's fine, I expected that. At least it's here. The stress from not knowing is over.
I get my 3DS and my screwdriver, and unpack the cover.
I unscrew my 3DS' back cover and one of its screws snaps off. That's fine, the cover has its own. I put the new cover onto the handheld and get ready to screw it on.
...
It sure is a cover for the New 3DS. But I have a New 3DS XL. I silently turn to my brother and hand him the cover instead. I can't use it but he does have a base New 3DS. I didn't check when I ordered the cover, this is on me. My mood drops but what happened has happened, nothing I can do about it anymore.
I go to screw the old cover back on, one screw is better than none. I notice the other screw is now also gone. With a heavy sigh I click the cover in place and hope it will hold.
Hoping to distract myself with absolutely anything I decide to read the receipt I received for the payment of customs. It says 10,44€.
The whole order, including customs, cost me 70+€. And 6€ of those the postman took for themselves. And I can't even use the cover. I spent 70+€ for effectively nothing.
So that's how my day is going! Hope you guys are doing better!
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Meanwhile in Sweden - Banking-Edition, or Why Do I Still Have This Account, or We Have Customer Service (Allegedly)
I really have to wonder if the bank I have an account with in Sweden even wants customers to be able to contact them. Or if they just want anyone who is not already a customer to be unable to contact them.
Context: This bank relies heavily on a digital identification method (as does a lot of shit in Sweden, but that's a whole separate rant). They rely on it to the point that if you, as a customer, try to call them for help with something, you have to identify yourself with that. There used to be a number you could call if you didn't want to use that; this was just for general questions and wasn't really for customers to use. I say that there used to be a number like that, because I tried calling it today, and it demands that particular identification method now. Fun.
Extra context: My old phone is a 2012-model that doesn't support the OS demanded for the new update for the app running this digital identification method. Since March, I haven't had access to any online services for my account, which is An Issue. I recently got a new phone as a graduation gift. A gift that I did not really want and very specifically only got because I am pretty much softlocked out of everything in Sweden if I do not have this particular identification method. Tax-office shit, banks, fucking anything, you NEED this thing (again, separate rant). I still have a fucking student loan to pay off in Sweden, so I've kept the account with this bank for the purpose of Minimal Fuckery (which has turned into Maximum Fuckery).
The problem?
I cannot activate this digital identification method on the new phone. It won't let me. You can normally do this in three differnet ways - using your old phone's one (obviously not possible, it won't even let me use the app now), a security calculator thing (think two-step authentication device; I Had one, but it's dead, and you can't switch batteries in them and the bank doesn't send them to addresses not in Sweden, so this is out too), and a passport or ID. I tried using my passport. Works fine - up until I agree to the final terms and conditions, upon which it suddenly gives me the message that it doesn't work and that it's to do with the bank's terms and conditions, but it doesn't tell me what part of those terms and conditions are broken, so Idk what's up.
The additional problem?
I can't contact the bank for help with this. Can't call - all the numbers are softlocked behind this goddamn identification wall. Can't use a chat-service on their site - it's a virtual assistant, which has always been absolutely useless and pointless and stupid. Can't email - they don't accept queries like these via email or even their own internal messaging system anymore. Can't visit an office - the only branch office in Finland doesn't deal with private customers, only businesses.
I resorted to their Facebook page. Got the answer of A - check the page for how to activate this identification method on a new phone (already checked that multiple times, nothing pertainin to my situation there), B - call [insert number here] and use a code with 5 numbers that you picked yourself at some point as identification method instead (I already called that number, did not receive alternate identification methods as an option, and do not recall at any point ever picking a code for anything, so ?????), or C - visit an office in Sweden to get help (which I do not even know when that could possibly happen, if it's next year or the year after).
Gold star, guys. Such great possibilities to contact you. And no, I'm not mad at the customer service person who sent the answer, I'm just mad at the system they've set up where they are literally impossible to contact for anything if you do not have access to these specific things.
#tehri's daily life#Meanwhile in Sweden#Meanwhile in Sweden - banking edition#Customer Service - Allegedly#customer service#how not to do customer service#Sweden#banking#all I want is access to my account :')#Swedbank#Swedish things
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I don't know when this started happening, but it seems like I increasingly cannot get certain medications by just going to my pharmacy anymore. There's a whole bunch of stuff that my doctors now have to (for some reason) route through a "specialty phramacy", which is actually a startup-y online business with a cute little app I have to use, and they take care of both delivery (meaning every time I need my meds I have to add $5 to the price tag in order to tip the delivery guy, since I can't just go to a place and I refuse to not tip) and also they seem to have a lock on insurance pre-approvals, like if my insurance company needs an OK they can't or won't get it straight from my doctor anymore. In June, I didn't deal with any of these companies, just my regular old pharmacy. As of a month later, I have to deal with THREE of these "specialty pharmacies" if I want all my meds, so I have to keep track of different apps and logins for individual scripts basically. And I mean, TWO of these companies are connected to ONE of my doctors, so that's how well this whole thing is going. Here's today's adventure with the latest one of these things:
I get a text message from the actual physical pharmacy (also new to me) compounding my new medication, and the message includes a link to log into the specialty pharmacy so I can pay for the medication and schedule delivery. The specialty pharm is called Nimble. I open the link in a browser and get all the way to the part where I give them my email address "so we can send you your receipt", and I can't go any further because apparently my email address is already attached to an existing account. It wasn't clear to me that I was setting up a new account, I thought I was just completing a transaction...and also I don't remember Nimble, but I guess I must have used them a long time ago, so ok fine, I'll start over and try to log in first. Now the text message link just opens an error page. So I go to Nimble's home page and try to log in from there, and it asks for my email address so it can send me a "magic link". Every single magic link it sends me is preemptively "expired", and it also appears that I'm not actually getting a new one when I request it, it kinda looks like they're just forwarding the first email over and over again? 15 minutes later I receive a text telling me to download the Nimble app, which I REALLY don't want to do just on principle--plus apparently the app shows fucking ads, so they're getting paid to force me to do this--but like, maybe this is the only way to get my medicine? I won't even describe all the complications I had just downloading the app, we can just skip to the part where the inside of the app is exactly the same as the browser version and it is magically sending me the same expired "magic link". So I click into the help chat thing in the app, and I learn that:
Whenever the fuck I used Nimble before, it was under my maiden name. My email address is locked to my maiden name. My current script is under my married name. I am still using the same email address, but there is no technical way to merge the accounts and apparently there is no way for a customer to simply update the spelling of their own name that they use in real life, even though this might have to happen at any time for many reasons including typos. I could have given them my private email address instead of the old one that I give to scammy businesses when I'm forced to, but since WHY THE FUCK would I do that, the solution was for customer service to go into the back end and put a fake email address in my old account, and add my real email address to the new account. No online account I've ever had has been set up like this, where you can't put in your email address or phone number and update something like a password. There was also no way for me to independently enter my name first, even though that is the key unchanging piece of information the way phone/email is normally, and ultimately, there was no way for me to find out what the problem even was without like penetrating to the center of the labyrinth to have it explained to me why I wasn't allowed to get my meds.
I'm on Tumblr like 24/7 and it's obvious that I'm no luddite, but I'm really angry that the whole world has bought into the idea that as long as some system is based on new technology, then it is automatically more efficient and superior to whatever we used to do. This entire experience is NOT superior to me physically walking to my pharmacy and getting all my meds, and it is STILL NOT superior to me calling the physical pharmacy to pay over the phone and book a courier. We need to stop pretending that shit like this is making our lives better just because it feels shiny and new; now it's just like, if I wanna do something totally normal that I'm dependent on doing--like getting drugs that I might need to live as far as all these assholes know--I have to appease some 3rd party alien entity that does not contribute in any way to the success of the process or the quality of the outcome, it's just this random extra burden that takes so long to get through that they should honestly pay me to do it. Because right now I'm fucking sitting here doing this shit like it's my job, and it absolutely is not.
In this case customer service was actually helpful when I finally got to them, but basically they shouldn't have been necessary at all. Everything else about the situation was so fucked up that it reminded me of the single worst customer service experience I've ever had: I used to have a REALLY shitty Lenovo laptop (I didn't realize that "basic" and "simple" now just means "doesn't work"), and one day the Start menu got stuck open. It was fully expanded across my entire desktop, so I couldn't get to any of my shit. I had to spend about an hour talking to a service person who, it turned out, had NO IDEA what I meant by "desktop". I could not get the idea into her mind. I did a screenshare with her and she was like "Yeah I see all your applications, everything is there, what's the problem?" I could not get her to understand that it was INCORRECT for the menu to be permanently open and I couldn't get her to understand what it was blocking. I found myself typing crazy shit like "So the Desktop is like, ya know, it usually has a picture you picked out as the background, and there's little icons for programs you use or stuff you downloaded, there's always the little trashcan thing there..." and she just would not admit that she knew what I meant. It was as if she had never used a computer before. And like I don't even remember how I fixed the problem, I stopped using that machine obviously--but to this very day, there's a part of my brain exclusively devoted to running an endless background process that asks, "What's the best way to describe a computer desktop display to someone who has never seen or heard of one before?"
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2. "I walked the land telling whores and liars of the End to come. There are 9,855 days remaining."
KIM KITSURAGI - "Cool. I'm glad you joined us. Not a lot of money in doomcrying... Let's move on, shall we?"
This next row -- the one that wraps all the way around -- is your number of closed cases. *Closed* is good. It means finished. You've got, let's see…"
"Wow, more than 200!"
"Is that a lot?"
"I would have thought there'd be more."
KIM KITSURAGI - "It's *quite* a lot, even for someone who's been on the force for nearly two decades. Usually clearing more than 10 cases a year puts you in the 90th percentile of *all* RCM officers..."
"See, Kim? I *told* you I was a superstar cop!"
"I used to be good. That's some solace I guess. What's the last number?"
"I don't think I can ever *re-become* this person... What's the last number?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "Call it what you want. You were a valuable member of your precinct. Now, let's look at the last row..."
"Right. Those are your confirmed kills. You've got precisely *three* perforations there."
"So I'm a killer..."
"I was expecting a higher number, honestly."
"That's not... too many."
KIM KITSURAGI - "For an RCM officer -- especially Precinct 41, which is in the Jamrock Quarter -- it's rather... tame. I mean that in a good way."
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] - "What's it feel like to kill a man, Mr. McCoy?" a young woman asks the man across the desk from her...
Honestly, babe," says John McCoy, crossing his ankles over said desk, "I don't feel anything anymore. It's just like brushing my teeth -- I do it once or twice a week and don't really think about it." There's no trace of guilt in his voice.
KIM KITSURAGI - "There are certain officers who treat their kills like some kind of ghoulish game. If they do happen to *solve* a case it's usually by accident." It's obvious the lieutenant doesn't think very highly of these officers...
"But it seems as though you are, or at least *were*, one of the good ones. So we have that to be thankful for."
"Have you ever killed anyone, Kim?"
"How do you handle the strain?"
"Thanks for this." (Conclude.)
KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes," he says, declining to elaborate.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - It's not a problem for him to state it, however.
2. "How do you handle the strain?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "Everyone has their own method of coping, some more effective, or self-destructive, than others..." He gives you a meaningful look.
"Personally, I find it helps to keep up a few hobbies."
"Like what?"
"Maybe I should find a hobby?"
"Hobbies are lame."
KIM KITSURAGI - "Oh, this and that. Let's not get into it now."
"Maybe I should find a hobby?"
KIM KITSURAGI - Why not gardening? You've already got the gloves..." He points to your yellow gardening gloves.
Oh yeah, we're still wearing those.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's meant in earnest. Please don't mistake it for a jab.
3. "Thanks for this." (Conclude.)
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant nods.
3. "Okay, let's go." [Put the ledger away.]
KIM KITSURAGI - "Right. I'll go turn off the lights..." He presses a remote control on the key.
Task complete: Read the watermarks
+10 XP
TUTORIAL AGENT - You can now see your statistics on your JOURNAL page -- to the right of the task description.
Here are our statistics:
Superstar Cop - 4 Apocalypse Cop - 1 Sorry Cop - 6 Boring Cop - 0
Communism - 13 Fascist - 2 Ultraliberal - 0 Moralist - 1
Good cop/Bad cop - 6 Honour - 1
People killed - 3 Cases solved - 216 Years in Service - 18
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Night Shift on Route 90 fiction
After getting my first job at a gas station in the middle of nowhere on a mountain. I was eager to finally be able to make my own money, and the job wasn't even that hard. all I had to do was ring up some stuff and that's all, I was working the night shift, so I was not expecting many customers. after being the only car parked outside the gas station, I thought "this looks so creepy" it really was, the light was white and dim and I kind of got the chills, but I decided to brush it off and start doing the job, I needed the money. I'm the only cashier in the store and the first thing i saw was a note that had 2 rules on it " keep the doors closed, and always check the cameras" I thought it was weird. but once again, i decided to do what it says and not think about it that much. i check the cameras and nothing was there. so i did some chores. i took out the trash and threw it in the garbage bin behind the store. at one point, i feel a presence behind me, it felt so real that i thought i even heard breathing, i tightened my breath trying to make any subtle noises behind me, there were non. after maybe 5 minutes i bulit the courage to look, no one was there. i exhaled deeply and scoffed at myself "it was probably just a racoon".
after I take out the trash i go back and check the cameras just in case. I thought it was stupid that i was so scared at that moment, but I checked the cameras, and nothing was behind me. I decide to facetime my girlfriend and tell her about the job so far. she was proud of me, and she was waiting at home with my 2-year-old son. after maybe an hour or two, a man, looking to be in his mid 40's entered the store. he looked drunk because he was starting at nothing for couple seconds and he couldn't walk straight. I told myself to stay calm and it will be over soon. he picks up some candy and a beer, comes over to the cashier and starts mumbling random words. I ignored him and rang up the items, he payed and left. something about that man seemed off..., but once again, I ignore it because he was gone. couple minutes later, the same man was back but this time he has sunglasses and a girl with him, he told me straight up " u call the police, I kill her" he points a gun at her head while stacking up all the beers he can get and ran from the store. i was stunned, I couldn't let out a word. I call my girlfriend and tell her what happened, she told me to call my boss and tell him that I'm leaving early. I agreed, and that what I did. I call my boss and told him everything. he told me that the same exact same man comes in every week and threatens to kill someone, steals beer, and leaves. I asked him why he doesn't call the police and he responded, "this gas station is unreachable." he hung up right after he said that. I was getting scared and didn't know what to do, so I packed my stuff and I left. as I'm trying to leave, the door doesn't open. I checked to see it it was locked but the lock was outside of the store. "What the actual hell" I whispered under my breath. I panicked an at that point I couldn't take this job anymore. i call the police but before i could type in the number, i get no service. then suddenly, that creepy man is in the store, he entered from the back. i couldn't scream from how terrified I was, he had a knife with blood in his hand. he stares straight into my Soul without moving muscle then suddenly pounces at me. i grab a glass bottle and smash it on his head. until i hear sirens and cop cars pulling into the parking lot in front of the gas station. I scream for help and.. my girlfriend and my boss was with the police. my girlfriend was screaming "save him!' at that moment, I felt safer than ever. they arrest the man and shove him in the police car. turns out that mat was a serial killer who would kill his victims, rip of their skin, and feed it to his dog which is now dead.... this serial killer has been missing for 8 years and he killed around 80 people. i am safe now but I'm never working in an unknown area ever again...
This is one of many fictional stories that I am going to write here on Tumblr!
make sure to follow me!
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A journey through Sega's marketing machine with the power of the cassette
I know, I know, a bit of a wild stretch to start this blog off without some proper introduction. Hi. I'm archonedd / Nobusuke, and I'm an avid (at the time of publication) 23 year old Sega (and Sonic) nut.
After mercilessly mocking cassettes as some old fad throughout the elementary and high school years as the world started gravitating more and more towards online streaming, I picked up a cassette player in early 2017 no doubt due to the hype surrounding a cassette that Star-Lord was seen playing on repeat on one of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. Along with said cassette player, came a Type 1 cassette tape to play. It changed my music experience in ways I'd never imagined, and I even tried substituting my CD-based boombox with one of these and needless to say the equipment left a lot to be desired.
It turns out that modern cassette players just don't have the quality mechanisms that legacy cassette decks used to have, and the number of new cassette-enabled devices seem to be dwindling globally as time goes on. Not to mention, most people's recollections of cassettes seems to border towards "listening to a crappy stream from the car's radio" to "only listening to a film's vision of what cassettes or any other vintage audio format used to sound like".
It sure took a YouTube channel like Techmoan and Retro Core AV as well as several others where my outlook on cassettes (and several vintage audio formats) began to change a little as I learned more about the different types of cassettes, and how cassettes can sound a lot like or even close to a properly mastered CD if given the right budget and expectations. So imagine my surprise when I heard almost 5 years later that Sega even started using distributing cassettes dubbed "Sega Forever Volume 1". My initial reaction was - "Wait a minute. What??"
What is this tape about?
Basically the idea of this was to serve as a promotional item sent out to various YouTubers and Sega-centric content creators prior to the launch of the "SEGA Forever" service on mobile devices. The tracks on these are basically taken from popular arcade and Mega Drive/Genesis titles, some of which are still remembered to this day.
The most remembered ones include the arcade BGM to Space Harrier and Outrun, as well as those from Mega Drive standout classics like Phantasy Star 2, Shining Force 2, and even Vectorman (a Blue Sky Software effort) gets a special shoutout though only Terraport from that game gets represented. Overall, there are 12 songs spread into two sides of six.
The strange thing is some of the Sega arcade titles even got console ports on non-Sega systems usually through third parties like Sunsoft and NEC Avenue.
Here is the complete tracklist in case you may not remember.
For the lucky 512 or so content creators lucky enough to receive this retro blast, the package even included a biro pen just in case your cassette player somehow "ate the tape" and you're on the task to spool the tape back in. You, know, like the old days where cassette enjoyers did it. I personally do not have such a strong nostalgic connection, but I just found it interesting to mention.
What are the technical specifications?
There are four types of cassettes sold throughout the market during the continuing lifespan of these audio wonders.
Type 1 refers to a general cassette you are most likely to buy today. This is known as a "Ferric" tape.
Type 2 known as "Chrome" is a step up from Type 1. While it is a general step up from Type 1 tapes, in the end, quality Type I cassettes have higher midrange MOL than most Type II tapes, slow and gentle MOL roll-off at low frequencies, but less treble headroom than Type II.
Type 3 "Ferrichrome" doesn't really exist anymore as far as I can tell.
Type 4 is the supreme stuff. These are called "Metal" tapes. To play such a high-class tape, your deck or player would have to be rated for metal tape playback. Something that today's modern tapes aren't quite capable of playing now, or at least I don't think so.
It seems more likely that Sega Forever Volume 1 cassette is a Type 1 metal tape with no noise reduction to speak of. These days, Dolby noise reduction may be no more, but substitutes such as DDi Codec will be able to alleviate that.
Sega Forever....
Let's talk about Sega Forever. Sega Forever was a then-new initiative to get its best retro games available for a mobile audience that's still going today. Very similar to what they are already doing with Sega Mega Drive Classics on multiplatform experiences via PC, PS4 and XBOX. This cassette was to coincide with the launch of the Sega Forever platform on smartphone on 21 June 2017, with the initial lineup being Altered Beast/Jyuohki, Comix Zone, Chameleon Kid, Sonic the Hedgehog 1 and Phantasy Star II.
Unfortunately it had a somewhat rocky launch. With the exception of the rebooted Sega Forever Sonic the Hedgehog mobile conversion handled by Stealth (the same guy that demoed what Sonic could look like on the GBA compared to the half-baked effort Sega of America pumped out in 2006), almost the entirety of the selection ran poorly despite modern hardware enhancements. It seemed to be a middleware problem as Sega reportedly failed to reach an agreement with the people behind the Retroarch project, instead settling for a Unity-based emulation solution.
Since then, Sega have upped the quality of the emulation for the smartphones of our time.
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POST 1
I'm not sure about my choices for writing my shit here and by that I also mean writing my shit, and to write it here on tumblr. Because I don't know who uses tumblr anymore, but I know who doesn't and the answer for that is nobody that I know. Which is fine if I want no one to read my shit, just rent it out and also the reason behind the use of this platform is that once I used it for ideation and to write shit out and it sort of worked. I just found that blog from more than a year ago and read it a bit, well life was sort of different and also not so much. So the reason then was to practice writing and by that I mean, writing in ENGLISH (just fyi I am way smarter and funnier in Hungarian) and it kind of worked, also it is so funny how I was writing about having amazing sex with a guy (plot twist: I don't talk to him anymore) I have other guys to cry about now hahah. Anyway I am here again blog 2.0. and ready to yap about everything.
Why? - lot of you asked (no one) Because I am unemployed for the first time in my life which means two things: 1. I literally have nothing better to do and I am bored af. 2. I have no money to pay my therapist anymore.
Anyway if you don't like to read about my boring thoughts, then why are you still fucking here? Otherwise blame my roommate who encouraged me today to write.
So today I had a very social day and by that I mean I even made friends with three strangers. Let me tell you that I am NOT a social person and I will not talk to people in public. Well as I thought. Maybe Amsterdam is starting to change and turning me into this whole new person who is friends with her neighbors. And now you see why the description although today is a random Thursday, but I had breakfast at noon and then I biked 20 minutes to a friend's house who is an actual office job person, so I had a coffee with her in her 20 minutes break and then I took her dog for a walk, where I was chitchatting a stranger number 1 for at least 15 minutes about his dog and my dog who is not even my dog. Then I biked back home for another 20 minutes, which was my exercise for the day as I promised myself that I can not be depressed again, I force myself out of the house every day. I got to my house and they opening a new flower shop, so this is the point I met stranger number 2, a lovely woman who is busy opening her shop. I was about to have another coffee so I offered her one, so I came upstairs made coffees and then we were having coffee, smoking a cigi, talking shit about life. I ended up helping her for like an hour (because what else I have to do). This is when I met stranger number 3, who is opening his coffee business next door and offered me free coffee. Normally I am not even not chatty, but I don't even give a half smile to people. I learned that this is a kind of Eastern European vibe, forgive me but I grew up and lived all my life in Hungary before so I barely met any cultures or at least not long enough to observe cultural differences.
Later I made tomato pasta for dinner and watched Sex and the City when a guy called me for the second time to discuss my gas & electricity subscription. He is so suspicious and I am not adult enough to discuss something like this, on the phone... on my SECOND LANGUAGE, no way. So I told him I can not talk right now for whatever random reason, then I checked my account with the service. What was surprising that I could log in for the first try and then I realized how our subscription is expiring in February. So what I did as a very (trying hard) adult person I put a reminder in my phone for 15th of January to check on that. I am very bad in administration and keeping up with bills and accounts and subscriptions and finances, that eventually I end up paying fines all the time. Last month in Hungary I had 3 fuck ups in the same day about flights and bank accounts and eventually I was just crying in silence at the dinner table I was feeling so defeated by adulthood. My mother tried to comfort me, but she was just saying that I always been like this and what will make it better if I accept the situations and try to problem solve. But tbh most of the time it could be easy to have no problem that requires any solution. So that day I was sitting in the waiting room of my bank for an hour and I started thinking about how I am going to design myself an app that will make me better in adulthood. So this is also the reason I'm writing here and now. I told this whole story to my roommate and she said instead of designing an app why I don't write a blog with my experiences. So blame her if anyone read this far and it is still fucking boring. Anyway I am still going to design that app, but this place will be my ideation space and also my daily bullshit.
love you bye
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AITA for helping a stray cat?
I know this isn't Reddit, but I'm not on Reddit and I need to ask, so here I am.
Some months ago, there was a cat at my window, in the middle of the night, meowing. I never saw it, and all my cats were accounted for, so not mine. I went outside to look at it, and it came right to me. Remember that we don't know each other. I pet it a little, then returned inside.
A few minutes later, the cat was still there, insisting. I decided to give it a can of food and some water, and returned inside. A hour or so later, the cat was still there. The bowl of food was empty, and it was asking for more. I understood that there was something wrong, and it needed more than just food. A cat that ate and is satisfied won't stay around if they have a house to go to, or are able to hunt. It didn't have a collar, so I supposed it ran away to "hunt girls" since it was a natural male, and didn't remember where its home was. It let me hold it in my arms, it willingly followed me inside (I have some kind of annex to my house I use as a shed. It has a window, it's warm and spacious enough for a cat). It was early Friday morning.
During the day, I called my vet and brought it in for inspection. Young male, no microchip, no tattoo, no way to contact its family. I looked around on the web for lost pets, I looked around the neighbourhood for missing cat posters. I posted on the lost animals Facebook page of my city, I posted on my vet's Facebook page, I regularly looked at these posts to answer questions if needed.
I kept the cat for the weekend, spending time with it, playing with it. It poured ropes all weekend, and I couldn't imagine the cat outside, still looking for its home, while the sky was almost falling on us. It ate in my presence. Stressed cats don't eat in front of strangers.
On the next Monday, I've contacted Animal Services and they picked it up the same day. I've then spent some time posting about the fact that I didn't have the cat anymore, that the Animal Services had it, and the phone number to contact them. It was a friendly cat. If they didn't find its home, they would find it a new one easily. I even spent some time on the AS Facebook page to see if it was put in adoption or not. It never was, so I suppose they found its home.
After that, I've received a DM which made me doubt my good actions, hence this post.
They reproached me for feeding stay cats that, of course, would stay for more food. That it was a cat that was used to live outside, and was doing so since about a year. They knew the cat and it was in a loving family and didn't need my help and how dare I contacted AS on it, that it was probably already adopted and would never return home, etc. It didn't look beaten or in distress, so why couldn't I just mind my own business?
I blocked them, but their words stuck with me, even now, months later.
I wanted to tell them that a cat doesn't need to be skin and bones to be hungry, doesn't need to be at death's doorsteps to be in distress. If it was an outside cat, where was its microchip, or at least its collar? Why wasn't it neutered? I didn't give the cat to the Animal Services right away. I tried to find its home, but I also have 4 other cats to take care of, and even if the shed was ok for a few days, I didn't want this cat to spend that much time away from its family, but couldn't take it inside the house.
So, AITA?
(Sorry for bad English, here's a potato 🥔 )
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The werewolf ran a doggy daycare, or so he said. You noticed that the furs were always the same colour as his own hair, coarse, and stuck mostly on the inside of his clothes. He also tore his shirts a lot. He works out you see, or so he said, and kept forgetting to buy larger clothes, or ones that stretch. You suggested he get a bunch of button-up shirts with those snap on/rip off buttons. You sell them after all. You'd never seen someone look so stupified nor relieved before.
The vampire was a surgeon, or so she said. Or maybe a mortician. She was always so bad at taking the thin labcoats, or oops, so clumsy of her to get a mess all over her when cutting up that beef, or it was nosebleeds or falling down stairs or a great number of things. She'd given you a hard time when she first came in, as you'd made remarks about the amount of blood. A joke about a murder scene. She'd taken offense at it. But hey, you had a right to be annoyed; blood is a bitch to get out of fabric. Now you give her a hard time instead because you're rather petty, and it's rather funny. You have no idea if she's caught onto the gag or not yet. But she keeps coming back, and she even gave you an epic old outfit when you said you were going to a Ren Fair. It wasn't her style anymore, she said.
The faerie was a kindergarten teacher, or so they said. You respectfully refer to them with gender neutral pronouns because, honest to God, you can't tell if they're one or the other gender. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Maybe whatever the hell they feel like that day. Whatever. The glitter on their clothes is from all the arts and crafts, they say. Oh kids! Such little terrors! Your favourite coworker had to climb up a ladder to get their favourite sweater once, when they got the glitter on it by accident and it started to float into the rafters. They're the friendliest customer you have... Even if their five adopted kids can be a bit raucous.
The Karen was a friend of the manager, or so she said. She demanded a discount and screeched in fury that her shitty, fake-silk dress couldn't be cleaned and tailored within the next half hour. It was the exact kind of material to melt with the tiniest bit of steam and it had a horrible wine stain that would never come out. She also demanded you make it two sizes bigger, for free, since that's what tailor/dry-cleaner/whatever! shops were apparently supposed to do. You refused. You can't summon material out of thin air, after all. She accused you of calling her fat. Then she went on a rant about how heathen the place was and she should have known better to expect anything more than the lousiest of service from a place that had a fairy godmother as their mascot.
In some cities in the world, it is safe to be a magical creature. This is not yet one of them.
My favorite coworker came from Africa, or so he said. His skin is as pale as bleached rice. He's happiest in the hottest places in the back, whether that be folding clothes next to the dryer vents, or ironing away next to the heater as steam blasts them in the face. They didn't even blink when we hit record high temperatures three summers in a row. We don't have air conditioning in the back as we're a very small business, after all, and most of the space goes to clothing. They were never thirsty, or so he said. Yet he always had a bottle of ice water handy whenever I needed it. In return, I warned him when his red, pointy tail slipped out of his jeans. We regularly go out for coffee and I've been to his place once or twice to hang out and play games. If the cross on his wall is upside down and surrounded by a blood-red pentagram, well. It's none of my business. He couldn't care less about my soul.
I am not a magical creature, or so I've said. And it's true. I'm not. Yet I'll never sell one out, despite all that horrid propaganda out there. They're some of the best people I know. They know what it's like to be ostracized and, well, so do I. I wasn't exactly popular growing up. Besides, if I may be a little selfish... between Karens and Krakens, the krakens always tip better.
Prompt: 130
The vampire who frequents your dry cleaning service had told you many things. He was a surgeon, he had frequent nosebleeds, he was clumsy. You knew what he was, but wanted to see exactly how elaborate his excuses could get.
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Love on the line
pairing: phone sex operator and roommate!hendery x fem!reader
genre: smut
word count: 2.3k
warnings: phone sex, dirty talk, guided masturbation, praise, slight degradation, sex toy
summary: "After you find the promotional card of a phone sex service on the floor of your apartment, you decide to give it a try due to the dry spell that has cursed you recently. Little did you know, your roommate would be on the end of the line."
a/n: This is my submission for Inna's @ncteaxhoe and Kitty’s @immabiteyou Love and Debauchery Collab! I'm sorry I'm 5 days late but the tags stopped working when I was ready to post 😭
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Your phone taunts you.
A little black, rectangular hole in the middle of your bed. Your made-up bed. That you wished someone would come and mess up. You can’t even remember how long your dry spell has lasted for, the sound of a creaking bed foreign in your room.
You look at the business card in your hands. It had slipped out of Hendery’s bag when he was rushing out of your shared apartment. Two half-naked, badly edited men were showing off their abs in the background of the tacky, hot-pink lettering.
DIAL NOW FOR THE STEAMIEST PHONE SEX!!! THE HOTTEST EXPERIENCE IS ONLY ONE CALL AWAY!!!
You can’t believe that you’re even considering this. It was your roommate who had planted the idea in your head, trying to change your opinion when you confronted him about the card you found on the floor.
“There is a reason these services exist! How is this any worse than watching a random dude jerking off on a porn site? At least you get some real interaction”
Interaction. You haven’t really thought of that before. It was the one thing missing from all the nights when you tried to take some of your frustrations away on your own. Even your best of toys couldn’t make you feel less alone anymore. Giving up, you reach for your phone.
“This is all Hendery’s fault”, you mutter under your breath as you dial the number, trying to make the decision easier for you. After a couple of rings, an automated voice comes from the recipient’s end.
“Congratulations, you just dialed the hottest phone sex service that is sure to leave you satisfied. Please wait until we connect you with one of our naughty operators.”
Rolling your eyes, you get under your covers as the line beeps consecutively, trying to get comfortable. Soon enough, someone from the other end clears his throat before delivering his well-rehearsed welcoming line.
“You dialed 1-800-HOT-HUNKS-TALKING. How can I please you tonight?”
Your mouth goes dry as the realization of what you’re doing weighs you down on your shoulders. What are you even supposed to say?
“Hi.”
“W-wearing what are you? Umm… What are you w-wearing?”
You look at the device in your hands in disbelief. The operator sounds young, around your age, you guess, with a deep, pretty voice underneath all that stuttering.
“Excuse me?”
“Uhhh… One second. You wish I was here huh? Oh, wait! Shit, fuck, I’m supposed to ask for your name first.”
You giggle at his rambling, the interaction way stranger than what you expected. The noise of papers being ruffled in panic can be heard in the background. You could’ve sworn you’ve heard his voice before.
“Messed up your script?”
“Y-yeah”, the operator admits, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you there was a script. It’s my first week on the job…”
“My name’s y/n”, you say patiently, hoping your sweet tone calms him down. In return, you get five seconds of silence. “Hello?”
“Uh-uh yes I’m here”, the operator says, his voice changed now. You could tell it was the same person, choosing to fake a deeper timbre all of a sudden for whatever reason. “So, how did you decide to call the line? Lonely?”
“Yes, actually”
“How did you find us?”
Weird question, you think, but then again, maybe it’s mandatory to ask for marketing reasons.
“My roommate had one of your cards. He dropped it, I found it. He suggested that I try the line out”, you sigh, “I haven’t had sex for so long.”
“Must be hard”, the man almost whispers.
“It is”, you mewl, surprised at how comfortable you are already. “I just want someone to be there when I cum, you know? Help me out.”
“Why don’t you ask your roommate to do that for you?”
You laugh heartily at the question. “Trust me, I’ve tried. My dumb roommate is the densest person on earth. No matter how many times I’ve suggested that he just doesn’t take a hint.”
“What?! You’ve never asked me to help you out!”
You sit up straight at his response, phone still in your hands. The card, the voice.
“Hendery?!”
“Yes”, your roommate sighs defeatedly, “it’s me”.
“How? Why?”
You hear him grunt from the end of the line, frustration evident. You still can’t fit this situation inside of your head.
“I needed some money, okay? I saw this ad that they were looking for young male operators for a sex line and I thought hey, how hard can it be?”
“Yeah, you were really smooth out there”
“Hey!”, he protests, the angry tone of his voice sending a current of electricity to your lower stomach, “They told me I was good, I even went through a casting! I’m just- not good at learning scripts. I prefer to go freestyle.”
Laying back down on your bed, you can’t contain the little smile that tugs the corner of your lips upwards.
“Freestyle, huh? Let’s hear you then”
Hendery freezes once again, mouth immediately going dry. You weren’t just some lady he had to impress at the casting call, you were his roommate. The girl whose bare face he admired when making coffee every morning. The girl he goes out of his way to get her favorite take-out for when she’s sad. The girl for whom he’s been pining for all along. And just found out was willing to let him fuck her.
“Well”, he starts off tentatively, “first I would ask you what you’re wearing”
“O-Oh”, you squeak out, taking a look at your outfit under the sheets of your bed, “I’m wearing that black t-shirt you lent me. And those pink pajama shorts I wear all the time”
“Oh my god, these are so hot”
“They are?”
“Yeah, they make your ass look fucking-”. Hendery stops himself mid-sentence, not sure if he can be that vulgar yet. “And underneath that?”
“Umm, nothing”, you admit, heat rushing to your face, “I figured I should wear as little as possible for the call. To have, you know, easy access.”
“Fuck”, he swears under his breath, the sound sending shivers down your spine, “Now touch yourself for me.”
“What?!”
“I thought you said you wanted to cum? Isn’t that why you’re almost naked? And why you haven’t hung up already?”
You suck in a breath at the undeniable accusation, dipping your fingers under the band of your shorts. Your fingers slide right over your lower lips, gasping a little when your thumb grazes your clit.
“I’m doing it.”
“How wet are you?”
It’s embarrassing to admit, but the tips of your fingers are already getting pruney. The smell of his cologne from the t-shirt coils around you, arousing you even more.
“Very wet”
“Is that because you’re desperate, baby, or is it because of me?”
“Please”, you scoff, head dropping back as you circle your index around your opening, “You haven’t even done anything yet.”
“So you admit you’re desperate?”, Hendery teases, “My little slut. Didn’t even bother to put on underwear to get fucked over the phone better.”
Your airy moan signals Hendery to continue, his harsh words making your whole body tingle.
“Move your other hand over your tits. Pinch those nipples for me. I bet they sit all pretty.”
You squeeze your left boob as instructed, playing with the hardened bud and heightening your pleasure. The company of your roommate has your blood running faster than usual, already feeling yourself close as your fingers start to work harder.
“Fuck. I can hear that needy pussy from here. Soaking. Got your fingers all wet for me, huh?”
You whimper at the phone as you circle your clit at a steady pace, teasing the little nub until your toes are curling.
“Answer me.”
“Yes”, you say breathlessly, “Hendery, I’m so close.”
“Aww does that feel good baby? You sound so pretty when you moan my name like that. Makes me wanna ruin you more.”
Breaths getting harder to take, you feel yourself on the brink of falling over the edge. Your thighs shake from all the pleasure, nails digging in the plump skin of your chest.
“Come on, spread those pretty legs and cum for me. I know you want to. Let it all out.”
You moan gibberish in a lewd crescendo, spreading your wetness over your pussy as you rub yourself through your high. Hendery is swearing continuously on the other end, gasping for oxygen himself. The stars in your vision start to dissipate slowly, yet your audience only makes the fire in your belly get stronger.
“Hendery”, you mewl out and he hisses, addicted to the sound of your voice when you’re drunk on an orgasm.
“I know, baby, I know. Now reach for that pink dildo next to your bed.”
“How do you even know I have that?”
“I was looking for my headphones one day and I saw it on accident. Very impressed by your choice of length”, your roommate shrugs casually, making your blood boil even more.
“I told you not to snoop through my stuff!”
Hendery kisses his teeth at your tantrum, too impatient to have this argument right now.
“We’re already paying this goddamn line gold on our next phone bill. Do you want to bicker or do you want me to make you cum again?”
Huffing in irritation, you take the big toy out of its protective pouch, fingers barely managing to wrap all the way around it. Your rid yourself of your two pieces of clothing, fully bare for him now.
“Hendery…”
“What is it, love?”
“It’s not gonna fit inside me easily…”
The boy chuckles at your cute voice, the little whimpers adorable to him. “Dip two of your fingers inside your pretty pussy for me. You’re wet enough for these to fit, aren’t you baby?”
“Yeah”, you sigh uncertainly, pushing two digits inside your warm hole. It’s a snug fit that makes you wiggle to make yourself comfortable, moaning as your fingers drag over your sensitive spot.
“Good girl. If I knew you wanted me to stretch you open this whole time…”
He lets his bitter sentence unfinished, and you continue to pump eagerly, moans getting louder with every thrust. Soon you can move your fingers easily inside you, scissoring yourself open carefully.
“I- I think I can fit it now”, you whisper tentatively, making Hendery laugh darkly.
“My brave girl. Get on your knees. And try to ride it.”
You shuffle through your bedsheets clumsily, holding onto your bedpost as your trembling legs aren’t reliable enough. Positioning the tip of the toy right underneath your slit, you let gravity do its job and sink the silicone cock right inside you. The stretch burns you immediately, deliciously, causing tears to collect on the corners of your eyes.
“It’s really big…”
“I know it is baby but we have to prep you, don’t we? You know my dick is even bigger right?”
You had gotten a sneak peek through those grey sweatpants he loved so much, desperately trying to hide his morning wood when making breakfast every morning. The memory makes your pussy throb, sending thick slick down the length of the toy, coating it.
“How am I supposed to fuck you the way I want if you can’t even fit your little toy inside you? Wouldn’t wanna make my princess hurt. There’s still plenty of room in that tight pussy to stretch open.”
Determined, your ass finally reaches your mattress again. You let the toy slowly slip out, hovering over it for a second before pushing it all the way inside you again, heart thumping at the thought of Hendery’s promise.
“I- I made it”
“That’s my good girl. Now bounce on it. Just like you do on these nights when you get too horny to function. Were you being loud on purpose? Riling me up and hoping that I knock on your door to give you a good fuck?”
“Yes”, you cry out embarrassed, tears staining your cheeks, making your face glisten in your dimly lit room. Sweltering pleasure has completely overtaken the slight pain you felt, bed creaking as you bounce up and down desperately. The hard tip nudges your sweet spot over and over again.
“Come on, now. Give me one more”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m cumming”
Waves of heat wash over you continuously as you collapse forward, screaming inside your pillow. A big wet spot sits proudly in the middle of the bed, evidence of your mind-blowing orgasm. In the intensity of the moment, you’ve let your phone slip from your palm, leaving a worried Hendery behind. You can hear a small, muffled voice coming out of your speakers.
“Y/n? Y/n? Are you okay?”
Forcing your upper body upwards, you manage to bring your cellphone back to your ear, hissing as your oversensitive nipples rub against your bedsheets.
“Yeah, I’m fine”, you croak through your damaged vocal cords, “this was, wow.”
Hendery chuckles proudly, you can hear his smile clearly over the phone.
“So you admit that I’m good at this job?”
“You are”, you surrender, exhausted, letting the toy slip out of you. A small moment of silence fills the next moments, neither of you being brave enough to ask the big question.
Hendery gives in.
“I’m finishing my shift in a couple of hours. Do you want me to meet you in your room later?”
“Hmmm… I guess I am curious to see if you’re as good in person as you are through the phone.”
“Ok, fuck. This is really happening, okay. Oh my god, I can’t believe this. I have to go now, but I’ll see you soon.”
You smile at his little rambling, feeling yourself being lulled to sleep from your two orgasms, eyelids heavy. Calling that sleazy sex line wasn’t that bad of an idea after all.
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not proofread sorry for any mistakes ><
#hendery smut#neosmutcollective#neowritingsnet#nct smut#wayv smut#wayv scenarios#hendery scenarios#wayv imagines#nct scenarios#hendery x reader#nct x reader#huang guanheng#nct imagines#wong kunhang
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infatuation
infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]
pairing: kamo choso/f!reader
summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]
wordcount: 23.3k
content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]
a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)
"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"
you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).
even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.
"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"
"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"
"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.
you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?
"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.
"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.
"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."
"really? you can hire tho-"
"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.
"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."
"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"
"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."
"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.
"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-
"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.
"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"
"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."
nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.
"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."
"i see. is this a formal event?"
"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"
"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"
"uh i-"
nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."
you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.
"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.
"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."
"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."
"i don't-"
nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"
"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."
"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.
"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.
"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"
"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."
"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.
the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."
"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"
although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.
not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.
"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"
"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."
"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"
you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.
"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."
"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"
you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.
“is everything okay?”
“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”
on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.
“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”
for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.
“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”
nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.
"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.
“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”
the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.
“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.
“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”
you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"
“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.
“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”
humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”
“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”
“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”
“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”
surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.
"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.
“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.
as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.
"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?
“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.
seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.
“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.
“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.
“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?
“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.
“i’m sorry that-”
“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”
giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.
when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”
“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.
before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”
“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”
choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.
“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”
nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.
the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”
“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”
“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”
“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.
choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?
to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.
you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.
"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.
wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.
"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.
"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.
choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.
“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”
a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.
seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.
dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.
“oh.”
“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”
“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”
choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.
carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”
your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.
“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”
you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-
his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”
“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”
choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”
“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”
choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.
“if you want to, of course.”
-----------
now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.
choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.
you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.
silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.
“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.
the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.
choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"
"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.
"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.
"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.
“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.
“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”
before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.
with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”
choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”
“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”
steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.
something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.
you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"
"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."
"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.
"thank you."
"for what?" choso sounded surprised.
"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."
“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”
he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.
“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”
you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”
“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”
sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.
thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”
“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”
“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.
your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”
“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.
after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.
“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”
“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”
“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.
“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”
choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.
“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.
“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”
----------
“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”
“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”
“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”
“nope! not at all!”
“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.
“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”
wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.
“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.
“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”
you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.
everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.
knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him
“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”
your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”
“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”
choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”
“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.
choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.
pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”
reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.
“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.
"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."
you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.
languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.
it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.
“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”
you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”
“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.
choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.
choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.
“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.
slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.
while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”
“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.
slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”
you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”
“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”
“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”
“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.
you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again
“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.
“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.
your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”
“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”
you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”
“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.
“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.
“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”
“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”
you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”
“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”
one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.
the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”
choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”
the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.
“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.
“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”
“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”
“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”
“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”
deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.
as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.
it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”
“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”
“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”
choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”
“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.
choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.
“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.
“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”
“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.
“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.
eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.
unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.
choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.
“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.
choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.
you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.
it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.
"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.
"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"
choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"
you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?
"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."
"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."
"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"
"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."
his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.
“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”
choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.
sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.
weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.
out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”
“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.
“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”
“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”
all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?
“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.
“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”
in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.
“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”
“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.
“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.
“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”
“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”
a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.
“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.
you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”
“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”
“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”
swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”
“that’s-!”
your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”
suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”
choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”
your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.
“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”
“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.
you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.
“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”
you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.
“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”
you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.
“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”
choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”
over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”
“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”
“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”
“it would be an honour, princess.”
with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.
he was perfect and he was yours.
p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!
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