#how are you supposed to make troll depression happy

[skidmarkeater]

TrollsTober Day 12: Grey Troll

[olderthannetfic]

I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.

For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.

Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.

So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.

And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.

So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?

--

Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.

Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.

Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.

Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.

--

As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.

If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.

--

But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.

The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.

--

Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?

Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.

Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.

Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.

[adviserbylove]

I am aware I've been quite annoying about this issue in the past, and for the moots that are tired of hearing this, I apologize. This will most likely be the last time that I will say this, cause at this point, I'm also fed up with it as well. But if I don't properly express my views on this matter instead of arguing with trolls hiding behind a grey ball with sunglasses (anonymous asks), I'm gonna let my feelings bottle up like a champagne bottle and, well....we all know how that goes

And no, this is not something that has been ongoing for me, or I'm still getting shit for this. If I do, I will delete any further asks about this issue. I've just been reminded of idiotic posts I've seen from purity patrol and it sickens me

There is nothing wrong with aging up your f/o

"It's not my fault you didn't grow out of your teenage crush" "....'Cause some people can't let go of their crush when they were teens" "Umm...why do you selfship with X who is 17 when you're an adult?" -- Shut up. There are so many reasons why someone would age up a character, and they don't equate to "Hiding the fact you would be attracted to their canon age". Perhaps they were a teenager when they started to selfship with them and when they got older, their f/o was in a media were they didn't age. Perhaps you fell in love with a character who, without their age being canonically 16-17, you would've taken them for early twenties~. Perhaps those characters have helped you through extremely harsh times, helped you through panic attacks and depressive episodes, and they became people that were very near and dear to you. People just expect you to throw all of that out the window as soon as you blow out the candles on your 18th birthday cake? Why not create an AU where you two grew up together and are still happy with each other? That is literally what self shipping is! Not 'growing out of your crush, and if you don't, that's your problem, not mine!'. That only makes it sound like your feelings towards your f/o is something that can be turned on and off like a light switch, which is NOT how feelings fucking work! Guess I should've gotten tired of my husband that I knew for 20+ years/been married to for 6+ years!

If anything, it would be weird if an adult did not age their f/o up. The reason behind aging up character is because sexualizing minors is wrong. You are not imaging yourself with teenagers, but adults that use to be those teenagers. It's faulty reasoning, because by this logic, college au's of characters that are canonically 16-17 are not valid. By this logic, falling in love with your childhood friend is not valid (which is actually one of my favorite, if not my favorite, trope). Seeing how characters grow and develop is suppose to be one of the best parts of fictional characters, and the fact that some people want to shit on that aspect that one's comfort can bring to them is absolutely wild for me

I've been blocked by multiple blogs, but before I was, they asked me why I selfship with a 17 year old when I'm in my twenties. Before I even answered their asks with the fact that I aged them up and worked hard on planning out what they would've done as an adult/what would be different/what their life was like in our AU, etc. I was already blocked. If you aren't interested in hearing my answer, then don't even bother sending an ask to me in the first place

I was groomed + SA'ed when I was 11 (by five different men, two of them happened to be family members, mind you), have children irl, and two younger brothers that have also been CSA victims. I will NEVER stop believing that it is wrong for an adult to take advantage of a minor. And frankly, you can stop shitting on a coping mechanism that actual survivors of CSA use

Aging up is not equal to sexualizing minors/p*dophilia! All it does is tell me that you have morals!

Again, believe what you want, but I will be deleting any pedo apologists, mean comments, purity patrol, proshitters using this as a trump card, etc.

They aren’t real. They can’t be hurt. They’re there for us to have fun with. So as long as you aren't producing literal CP, you are fine! Just enjoy yourself

[hostilemuppet]

creek thought floyd knew he broke up with guy months ago. my brother in christ how was he supposed to know, he's in a full body cast and no means of communicating with the outside world. who was gonna tell him???? bruce?? john dory??????

creek thought it was so obvious that hed always choose floyd over guy that he didnt even consider the possibility of floyd not also thinking so. 16 and 17 both had creek thinking about how much he loves and misses floyd, with floyd either refusing to acknowledge creeks attempts at making him happy or outright thinking "creek likes guy better". creek thought floyd knew hes the most important troll in his life, while floyd has. you know. severe depression

[vriskaserketdaily]

what albums are those and why do you connect it w vriska :3?

THANK YOU mwah

it's not so much that i connect these albums with vriska, but rather with the persona vriska constructs for herself and with vriska's perceptions of mindfang.

the first album is celebrity skin (1998), the third and final album of the band hole. you might have heard this song from the album if you listened to rock stations in the 2000s. it deals heavily with doomed romance, suicidality, the façades of fame and the ugly, sad truths which lie beneath.

the second is soho lights (2008) by the UK-based pop-punk band tat. it is their first and only album, and i have no idea if it got radio play at all, but here's a song from the album to give you a feel for the sound. this one themes itself around the rock-and-roll lifestyle, sexuality (particularly unwilling and unrequited love) and rebellion against expectations of how women are "supposed" to behave.

both albums present an aggressive (and aggressively heterosexual) brand of femininity that i believe 13-year-old (and younger) vriska would latch onto in her quest to emulate and embody mindfang as depicted in her journals. people much smarter than me have pointed out that vriska reads very strongly as a lesbian character suffering from compulsory heterosexuality, because despite her many many attempts to replicate the important men-oriented relationships of her ancestor, these relationships consistently leave her dissatisfied; and because her most intense and passionate relationships are with women (terezi, kanaya, aradia) rather than the men she should be interested in (eridan, tavros, arguably equius). (i also think she is suffering from "compulsory heterosexuality" in the troll sense in that mindfang's quadrants are very neat and delineated whereas vriska's cannot help but be . . . messy. see: terezi and tavros)

vriska's picture of mindfang as a historical figure is incomplete, because she only ever consults one source on mindfang's life and personality. yes, it's a primary source, but there's no reason to believe mindfang's account of her conquests or conduct is accurate to historical events. she could have been creating a character just as much as vriska is, someone who is cool and in control of all events, never afraid for her life or doubtful of her abilities. vriska, taking this account at face value and being unable or unwilling to conduct further research beyond the contents of one volume of mindfang's journals, internalized this potentially fictitious characterization as fact, projecting onto mindfang her desires and aspirations.

like all the other characters in homestuck, vriska's outward appearance of a ruthless, 8adass cerulean marauder is a façade. a sham. her conversations with john, aradia, and meenah reveal her to be introspective, affection-seeking (or at least, connection-seeking), conscious of the weight of her actions and remorseful for them. even before her introspective conversations, she is established as a character who is not happy with her life and the things she has to do to stay alive, the role she believes she has to play so she and her friends don't die. she is scared of the things she has to do and the role she has to play, but even at her introduction the stakes were life and death.

for her, mindfang is a persona, an armor she steps into when she needs to be the person her society insists she is. to that end, i believe that if she had access to celebrity skin and soho lights, she would use them as "mood-setting music" to get into the headspace of the mindfang persona and affirm that the aggressive, rebellious, at times morbidly depressed, heterosexual picture of herself is an accurate one reflected by this music---music mindfang would have made or enjoyed.

(there is also something to be said about the controversy surrounding courtney love that may make her a compelling individual for vriska, but when it comes to music as experienced by a 13-year-old i do not believe the artist is the most relevant factor in that 13-year-old's processing and interpretation of the music---it certainly wasn't for me at that age)

tl;dr vriska listens to these aggressive rocker chicks growl into the mic about their heterosexual love lives that have failed in various ways, and the depression that comes with their lifestyles, and thinks to herself as an aggressive depressed teenage girl whose relationships with men always flop for reasons that have nothing to do with her not actually liking men and thinks, "she's just like me fr"

[windy-trickster]

Cold Night

Small TWs for: Depressive thoughts / Implied s*lf h*rm

Ask anyone about Sherco Cerade and they'll tell you this: A boy of sunshine, a personality that's so infectious you can't help but want stick around him. A smile that can brighten up the darkest of rooms. Warm, easy-going and simply a delight to be around. But what happens when that smile is gone? When he's alone, by himself? It's cold. It's cold, but he'll never tell anyone. He'll never tell anyone about the pain he feels inside of his head. The piercing thoughts that push him to his breaking point at times. How he feels like he doesn't belong in a world that he was born into. He's not like the rest. But he's not supposed to be, right? Sherco's his own troll, he can be whoever he wants. But what if it's not good enough? An ever-present thought in the Indigoblood's mind. 'What if I'm not good enough?', a mocking voice seems to always push that to the forefront, making Sherco want to curl in on himself and never leave his hive. He feels alone in his own neighborhood despite having people there who care about him. He feels ostracized from his own caste, displaying no such similarities to other Indigos he's grown up around. Beaten down and broken several times in the past. But he keeps smiling. He keeps that warm, all familiar smile on his face. Because why wouldn't he? He's a ray of sunshine, a spark that lights up the dark. A troll where others can feel comfortable around. He is non-judgmental. He a friend to all and an enemy of none. He lives with his lusus, his moirail-sister. He's able to live life mostly how HE wishes to. He should be happy. He shouldn't feel like he needs to fit the mold of anything to be HAPPY. But it's hard. It's hard when you've been mocked and pushed around so much in your life. How you've been told you're nothing, you're a mistake, you're stupid and so much more. It's hard. It's painful. But Sherco doesn't let any of that show. Because why would he? He allows his darkest feelings to remain in the depths, his body littered with scars. Metaphorical and literal. Were they self-inflicted? Had the blade of a knife kissed his delicate skin? Or were they given to him by others? Those who felt they needed to beat him down to feel better about themselves. We will never know. The stew of self-hatred and self-destruction rages in Sherco's mind, but he never lets it boil over. There's no need to let that mess spill out from between his lips. So, he will remain happy. He will continue to smile. Act like everything is fine. When in reality.... He longs to feel accepted.

[threeopennames]

HP1C10

Hallo Hallo

Surprising nobody, Ron and Harry decide that getting themselves into huge trouble and only surviving because of Hermione was a quite good adventure, and they are eager to repeat it. As a reward for saving them, she gets called a bossy know-it-all, and ignored. As a reward for being a total turd Harry gets a state of the art broom bought for him by McGonagall. He is told not to tell anyone, so of course, not even two pages later, they tell Draco. They rub this in Draco's face, and then a teacher comes by and rubs it more into his face, and then we're treated to a very long explanation of Quidditch. Again, we're very casually mentioning how horrible students have been mangled, but whatever. I'll be skipping the absurdity of how Quidditch is played and set up to make Harry the most special person ever, let's just let the author have this.

Then we skip ahead to, imagine this, ACTUAL MAGIC. The class learns how to make stuff levitate. Harry is terrible at it, because, I don't know, he's too cool practicing sports to learn nerd stuff like magic. Hermione tries to help Ron out with the spell and Ron throws a fit ('snarled'!), so she shows him how to do it. She does it great, and then he says she has no friends and is a nightmare, because Ron is a terrible nasty little child.

Hermione runs off crying which is our setup for the next scene. Everyone's enjoying some good Halloween whimsy lists when Quirrell shows up and says 'yo there a troll' then passes out. Everyone is told to go back to their dorms so OF COURSE Harry and Ron decide not to and instead to go tell Hermione about the troll. Now an astute reader might think 'hey, why don't they just tell someone about Hermione?', and the author cleverly addresses this point by ignoring it completely. In fact, they actively avoid teachers, because...well just because, don't think about it.

As a result of their stunningly brave defiance of authority they run into the troll and have absolutely no way to defend against it. Hermione, it turns out, is too scared to do anything, and needs saving. Using their advanced master of magic Harry and Ron I'm just kidding Ron literally just throws garbage at it and Harry sticks his wand up the troll's nose. I didn't quite get how Ron was pulling pipes and bathroom fixtures off the wall to throw at the troll- let's be REALLY generous and just assume he used magic when nobody was looking. This is such a weird scene, ignoring the damsel in distress stuff, because the setup is perfect to have your brave smart cunning Harry Potter superhero use his newfound magic powers to cleverly defeat a more powerful foe. Instead he tries to fight this giant monster in melee combat. Like, really? Couldn't he have at least zoomed around on his broom or something?

Ron successfully uses the levitation spell to awkwardly hit the troll with its own club, and the day is saved. McGonagall, again, shows up and accurately says 'you dumbasses could have died'. Hermione takes the fall presumably in exchange for being saved and then they all become great friends. Ron, most importantly, never has to apologizing for being such a shit, and Hermione ends up getting punished. What a happy ending.

I've heard it said Hermione is supposed to be the author's self insert, but at least in the first book, I have a hard time believing it. She does plenty of heavy lifting through the rest of the book but she's always kind of treated like garbage. Harry and Ron feel much more like self inserts, because they just never face any consequences for their actions (because they are always right). It's depressing reading how hard her character gets trashed through the rest of the story. Plenty more Hermione abuse remains to be revealed!

[grumbums-ooc]

Part 4: Triostuck and Homestuck

oh god

- Triostuck-

Starrs

1. used to be a trollsona. not anymore!

2. was thinking of the idea of then being chinese-indonesian or having that sort of accent because of yonkagor, but i feel like thats be a big change

@serviceablecharismatic

Kitten

1. originally a purpleblood before i knew all purplebloods were juggalos.

2. was thinking of her being homophobic/transphobic but decided against it cuz i feel like she may be a pos but she doesnt stoop down low enough for transphobia

@kittenkatanaweilder

Abgail (added her after i posted the list, cuz i forgot about her. hey, you arent supposed to know about her yet!)

1. reserved and sorta offputting. shes like the weird girl with braces who would show you fucked up drawings in elementary school class

2. based on amy. unintentionally very similar to abby from sburb.exe. i swear to god this wasnt intentional lol

(havent made a blog for her yet but im thinking about it)

also shhhhhh

Raymon

1. ive always felt that rubber balls fav color would be orange or all the human (or troll in this case) versions of him would be orange based and have orange colored clothes. which is why i made raymon a bronzeblood and not a rustie. which also makes it ironic how his fav color is actually rubber ball red.

2. would probably have a specific jamba juice order that he gets every single time. cuz the tism.

bonus 3. moirails with kraken!

(speaking of kraken, i didnt include him and a couple other ones because i didnt create him. he was created by my lovely partner @mrhyde-and-drseek and i just share custody of him.)

@runningrubber

Hearts (hey! youre not supposed to know about her too!)

1. rustie + wheelchair user and ready to kill (justifiably)

2. in the most gay-like straight matespritship with raymon

also, dont say i dont do nothin for ya ;)

Toppie (the troll)

1. the goldblood ever, sans psionics

2. he kinda does whatever for the funny. prob because hes based on toppie the object

Benson

1. mean as shit, based on brownie

2. bard of life, however that works.

Karpel

1. dancestor of kitten

2. has a pyramid on her head instead of a sphere!

Sunnys

1. dancestor of starrs

2. speaks in morse code to say things others wouldnt understand, like muttering something under your breath

Dayste

1. dancestor of abgail

2. very curious!

Rhombi

1. dancestor of hearts

2. believes in chakras and meditation

Kieski

1. dancestor of raymon

2. helps people out of obligation, works in machinery

Burnks

1. dancestor of toppie

2. sacrifices himself to make others happy

Roxpol

1. dancestor of benson

2. therapist friend

Maryax

1. dancestor of M_____

2. blind and proud! wears a shirt that says "im blind. i will pay you 20 dollars to read this."

Valley

1. dancestor of Si____

2. clown but not a purpblood!

Harper

1. dancestor of O_____

2. hates the fact her friends forced her to play sburb. she wishes she could live a "normal life", thus being a prince of breath

Slinka

1. dancestor of P_____

2. robot head

Banken

1. dancestor of kraken

2. super nice, looks intimidating on the outside

Stella

1. robins mom/alpha version; not a troll

2. super angry all the time!!!

Carter

1. graces dad/alpha version; not a troll

2. yes man

Arthur

1. kyles brother/alpha version; not a troll

2. super reserved on the outside, mlp fan on the inside

- Homestuck -

(for trolls that arent part of the triostuck universe)

Felise

1. meow meow cat :3

2. going into the space empire soon*!

@affectionatefeline

Delark

1. clown girl :O3

2. super depressed n suicidal :O3

@coordinated-failure

Skylar

1. obsessed with time, probably listens to ruler of everything

2. based on timekeeper cookie!!!

HOOO BOY THAT WAS A LOT. hopefully that was helpful ig.

give me two facts about every oc on that sheet >:)

ALRIGHT BABY LETS GO

Part 1: OSC

long post! also the updated oc count from 55 to 57 and one of the added ocs is in this part.

RB (short for Rubber Ball)

1. first ever oc & first ever self insert*! oct 16th, 2020

2. raymon and james are different versions of rb to fit the fandom/story they're from

Hart (not a typo)

1. rb's gf, hearts and hannah are different versions/influenced by her

2. adopted! /pos

Toppie (object toppie, is a top hat)

1. originally was supposed to be an antagonist to rb and hart, now is just a mischievous friend

2. nonbinary! (this was when i avoided making queer characters due to "not seeing them as trans/gay", the nb thing was decided a couple years after)

Brownie

1. used to be a bully to rb that could never be redeemed. got redeemed.

2. got super defensive telling people "this isnt an attempt at racism!" when i told them he was a shitbag. dunno why.

all 4 of them are friends btw, and rb, hearts, and toppie are in a poly relationship

Sticker

1. rb's dad. abusive dad. does not correlate to anyone irl i just like giving my characters trauma

2. no design. just a square with a rip and a couple of stains. also drinks alcohol

Stuffy (stuffed animal)

1. rb's mom. dead mom. thats right baybee your boi accidentally just made the mary sue trope of one dead parent one abusive parent on accident i had no idea.

2. kind and caring, of course. died when rb was 7 trying to break up a bar fight bc she worked at a bar.

Kick Ball

1. i never actually decided on this but hes either rb's long lost brother or one of his friends ig.

2. blueish teal!

(just realized i flipped the order of stuffy n kick ball. whatever)

Pixel (not on the list, forgot her)

1. really small (about the size of ice cube after used to cool down team ice cube's soup in bfb 13), displays a dark gray color around #161616

2. friends with kb!

Folder

1. made to be someone who had a crush on hart in pair with sign having a crush on rb

2. basically a toppie clone in terms of personality

Sign

1. made to be someone who had a crush on rb in pair with folder having a crush on hart

2. kind of a yandere!

Lighter

1. made to be toppies younger sister. otherwise nothing else

2. i think i once used her for a daydream similar to that one movie (where a kid goes to a party but is forced to take his little sister, gets high at the party, sister has an allergic reaction, rolls down the window for the sister when driving home so she can breathe better, kills her by driving recklessly and decapitating her when driving near a wall or pole or something, and then hiding it from his parents until they find out and theres this scene where the parents are sobbing while the camera slowly pans to the room hes in and he looks full of dread. its called hereditary) where toppie goes to a party. has to take lighter. walks back and accidentally lets ligher get run over. thats all i remember

Starry

1. hart's adoptive mom.

2. changed to be male and the host of an hfjone like object show that never came to fruition, so no male host starry

Spray Can

1. hart's other adoptive mom

2. her and starry's objects were the first things i saw while i was playing subway surfers so they stuck

WHOO BOY THAT WAS A LOT. I WILL REBLOG OR DO ANOTHER POST WITH PART 2 SOON.

[strangefellows]

So, yeah, here’s a bunch of stuff about my FGO Master, Komadori Fujimaru!

I know a lot of people go Full OC with their mastersona, but I really, really like Gudako’s design, so I stick with that but made her my own! Very very much my own.

Featuring her with her best bud Cu and her shiny asshole boyfriend Gil, and her usual mission team. (Yes it’s unbalanced AF no I don’t care about the meta.)

If you can’t read Komadori’s bio, it’s as follows (with her major relationships!); see readmore~

Komadori Fujimaru, age 22 (as of 2015), college grad -- anthropology major -- and part time librarian who rolled on into Chaldea to avoid the crippling existential ennui and depression brought on by losing her brother Ritsuka (yes, ‘Gudao’) when they were kids traumatically and her horrible neglectful parents. Before Chaldea, she was deeply lonely and just going through the motions save for her one true passion -- history/anthropology, which she loved since she was a child; myths and legends and the heroes within had been basically her only friends for most of her life. So, in Chaldea, this is basically her dream come true, she adores it there, it’s the best thing to ever happen to her, she’s genuinely happy and surrounded by friends for the first time since Ricchan died.

She’s an absolute troll chaos gremlin loud sarcastic force of nature, she is, she does not take shit, she isn’t afraid of you, and she will do stupid shit for the lols. Like, all of the troll/silly/jokey dialogue options? Her. She’s just full of life and cheer and joy and love for all of this period, and it means the world to her that she’s not pretending anymore. She is living her best life. She is also a huge, huge nerd, and will make pop culture jokes.

Unfortunately she also has PTSD from losing her brother how she did -- he saved her from a car accident at the cost of his life -- so, she uh. Does not handle heroic sacrifices or similar very well. At all. This proves very fun for her! (Not.)

Being told ‘welcome home’ (okaeri, more or less) means a lot to her too due to her previous loneliness, and it WILL make her cry.

She is -- in universe anyway -- a pro at summoning to abnormal levels, and most Servants she summons remember the Singularities/Lostbelts even when they’re technically not supposed to. No one is sure why, especially since she’s totally average a mage otherwise. She’s just completely a prodigy when i comes to specifically he handling of Heroic Spirits.

( This is because, unbeknownst to her or anyone else because the initial medical exam missed it and then Chaldea blew up so the equipment just wasn’t available for them to figure it out, she’s a homunculus. She and her brother were created by British mages and their cores were attuned to Alaya and Gaia respectively; they were inactive, though, so they were shipped off to a nonmage ally family, the Fujimarus, for observation. But once Ritsuka died, the whole project was axed because what use is one without the other? Her core, however, activated when she hit Chaldea, so she is absolutely just a slowly-awakening conduit for Alaya and the Throne of Heroes. As for Ritsuka...well, his story might not be as over as it seems. He’s a conduit for Gaia, after all. )

As for relationships...

She fell very hard for Roman by the end of the Grand Order, and was thusly devastated at the Temple, especially because she never got to tell him. This ‘Chaldean’ guy in the Lostbelts is both a spot of hope and ENDLESSLY GODDAMN FRUSTRATING, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

She also fell extremely hard for Gilgamesh -- of ALL people, she’s aware her taste is questionable but she’d loved the Epic before Chaldea shut up -- during Babylonia, and she basically spent the whole time sassing/flirting with him. She at first thought he was gorgeous but an insufferable prick, but warmed to him and by the end she had fallen very hard and basically almost cried into the summoning circle after Temple for him to come home. Lucky for her, her very vibrant personality and the way she both respects him and takes ABSOLUTELY NONE of his shit made the affection reciprocal. They’re awful, they sass each other constantly, get a room you losers. She wears his Valentine’s present bracelet all the time.

Her 100% top best friends are Robin, Cu, and Merlin.

Merlin and her are terrible gossipy trolls who sip tea together and talk shit, and bond over missing Roman if/when they get stupid drunk. She adores this absolute shithead wizard man. She WILL roast him constantly, with affection.

Robin she befriended in America and they got a lot closer when he brought him to Babylonia with her; they have a pretty close friendship -- her name, Komadori, means ‘robin’, so she was fond of him as a folk hero before Chaldea, and she was delighted to meet him. They’re bird buddies! Their relationship is basically him going WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS while she does dumb shit, but with fond exasperation. Someone has to carry her out of stupid situations, after all!

Cu was always one of her all time favorite legends, and she summoned him literally right after Singularity F; however, they didn’t bond until America. Because yes, they had the horrible luck of Cu going to America with her. The, uh, repeated slam dunks into Cu’s repressed trauma buttons made Komadori super protective, and at this point they are absolutely ride or die for each other. He’s the first person she goes to if she needs support or to talk or vent.

Drake is...well, they got drunk and probably had sex the first time they met in Okeanos? They’re basically drinking buddy besties with benefits. Komadori absolutely adores the woman, what a great friend.

Komadori ended up with a huge, huge, huge crush on Musashi, and considers her her best girlfriend, and Musashi feels the same, they’re ridiculous chaos gremlin gals, Shimousa was a ride, Vegas was a ride, best galpals ever. Olympus Sucked.

Emiya was one of the other first Servants Komadori called after Fuyuki, and at this point he’s her tired sarcastic protagonist brother-from-another-mother, they’re both full of sass and doneness and snark and Really Exasperated 20-Somethings. They have a bit of a clash over Komadori’s relationship with Gil, given Emiya remembers UBW and is wary of him, but they mostly agree to disagree on that and get on well otherwise.

Mash is Komadori’s baby sister, she imprinted on her as a sort of...”I failed my baby brother but I’ll protect her now” thing. She absolutely would kill and die for Mash, her baby sister. Baby. Protecc. Baby.

Honorable mentions for Servants Komadori’s really close to are: Dantes, Mordred, Ushiwakamaru, Osakabe, Mandricardo, Jeanne Alter, Jinako, Sanson, and obviously Enkidu (they double team Gil it’s hilarious). Moriarty is her Evil Ojiisan and she loves him too.

Oberon-Vortigern is TBA, along with Castoria; I am 90% blind for LB6 so will decide her relationship to them along the way, but tentatively Castoria is Little Sister #2 and ObeVorti is gonna either be a bestie or she’s going to fall hard.

[tomatograter]

New to the fandom, Could you explain June? 💯 Love and support her. But homestuck 2 doesn't have her and I'm just confused?

June Egbert precedes the concept of homestuck^2! I’ve seen a lot of people be confused about this because they weren’t active on the fandom at the time the epilogues dropped, when reading her as a trans woman got a lot of discussion going and eventually lead to multiple confirmations.

So here’s an attempt at contextualization:

Throughout Homestuck, a few key ideas about Egbert’s identity and motivation to push forward with her hero’s journey are dropped like breadcrumbs. She’s meant to play the default straight-man protagonist. Her defining traits are ridiculously… generic, when compared to how all the other kids present themselves and stick to exaggerated bits. She’s a perfectly normal, regular suburban kid with normal, suburban issues. 

She may not leave her room a whole lot. She may not have a lot of real life friends in the neighborhood. She holds a comical irritation for the concept of birthdays, even though her father is extremely supportive, and is delighted to see his son grow up nice and healthy. There’s no reason for her to be so irrationally upset at cakes and gifts, and that’s what makes the setup funny! June doesn’t even know why she’s annoyed with half of the things that annoy her, what the heck.

But under all that playing around there is a sense that her life is so normal, so blasé, so unexciting and limiting and hollow and fake that she’d give anything to not be herself, even if only for ten minutes. This goes way, way back. It’s why June needs SBURB to happen.

June lives as though her life hasn’t started yet. She’s stuck in the Tutorial stage. I would argue while most kids (and trolls) play SBURB to escape a shitty environment or the end of the world as they know it, June plays for a simpler reason: She needs to escape herself, and she needs to do it before it is too late. 

Being thirteen means crossing the homeric abyss between being a child with no care for the world sporting a generic hand-me-down identity and becoming a Teen (capital T) who needs to figure out how to cope with atrocious bodily changes while building the adult they’re meant to be AND deciding what the fuck they want out of life, and how they’re going to work to get it, forever and ever.

When you’re trans, and you don’t yet know you’re trans (or that this is a thing you’re even ALLOWED to be) the above feels a lot like serving a life sentence for an intangible crime.

You know what you’re supposed to do. You’ve seen it on tv, you’ve heard it from your dad, you know what are the normal trials and tribulations. You know you'll grow a few pimples and stubble and you'll need to learn how to shave, obviously, because it's basically a tradition in your family, and no one is really happy to be a teen. You know at some point you'll find a nice girl and you'll grow a hat out of your skull and then you will have to pay taxes and maybe you will have a baby daughter? You'd like it to be a daughter for no particular reason. And when you get a daughter you're going to name her Casey and she's going to be adorable and this is something you've dedicated a lot of thought to. Maybe its because you thought Nic Cage looked really cool with those long flowing locks in con air, the movie who featured a trans woman as a minor character for a few minutes (and she gets quite a bit of compliments, regardless of how the movie has aged), and he had a really exciting life, but goddamn did he love his daughter. There is no purer love than the bond between a father and his daughter. 

This absolutely has nothing to do with your father and you, or how you hold no excitement for becoming an adult man, or how your father's excitement for you becoming an adult man in your stead feels a little stifling.

But i digress.

June spends her time on SBURB mostly hassling karkat, and readily following the instructions of zany, dangerous, COOL girls that seem to know what they're doing. June lets Terezi lead her to certain death without blinking. June lets Vriska dress her up as soon as opportunity presents itself. June thinks its really funny to trick this troll Who Types Really Oddly into believing she's Rose, and also into believing that she's a very silly girl. You may even say Homestuck employs a few of jokes pertaining to how her name looks like EGG !

June has a ball playing this game until it starts to get shitty. She's never able to mend her relationship with her dad, as he's one of the first causalities. She has to spend a lot of time waiting around with jade on a ship until things get cool and exciting again, but she never stops growing during those three years. Its fine, though, because there's always more things to be done and more people to fight.

Until there aren't, and they make a new earth, and while everyone cheers and claps for the birth of a new planet June realizes all her excuses are over. Her friends begin to grow up. Rose gets married. Jade is living her best life. Dave has a not-boyfriend glued to his hip. Jane has a job. Jake is on TV for some reason. June doesn't want to leave home. June's birthday is around the corner again. Here come all the congratulations for becoming a strong lad for yet another year! Vriska is gone. Terezi is gone. SBURB is over. Wacky hijinks have been swapped for real-ass, boring-ass Regular life. We watch her unsuccessfully chase after the glory of days gone by when Rose presents her the possibility of going back into the game, when things were cool and mattered, or her flimsy decision to settle down with a nice girl she hasn’t really made an effort to know and become a father and be absolutely miserable for four decades as she asserts nothing is real, not anymore, and this is just how it is.

Depersonalization, depression and general apathy towards the world are all pronounced aspects of dysphoria that seem like unrelated incidents for someone who hasn't came out yet. June's trainwreck of a life post-game, specially her feeling of hollowness and chasing after anything that could fill it struck a chord with trans readers who left the epilogues to read HS again and discovered this has always sort of been here. June being a trans woman who doesn't have the proper vocabulary to express she is a trans woman makes a lot of earlier bits from the comic click into place, now in a broader context. We settled in the name "June" because it's what she imagines Vriska is calling her at some point, amid laughs, but even that was discussed for a lengthy period last year. What would she want to be called, what are possible tags for this, etc. But it was mostly for fun and games, because the prospect of the protagonist of a 10 year old beloved cult series being ACTUALLY confirmed as a trans woman just wasn't something that was done.

Until word got around to Andrew Hussie and he was reportedly so pleased with this interpretation of events he’d be making references to it, and some time later, a box of toblerones was left in a cave as a gift for fans to find. The first person to find a toblerone thought it would be funny to dedicate it to June, because now she was an ongoing reference that was fun to make. Instead of it ending there, Hussie logs on twitter for the first time in a long while to say 'Oh yeah, i'll make it happen' and that's when the whole thing exploded. I have a post detailing this made a year ago (with pictures!) so i won't keep you here.

In the year since, June has been vaguely alluded to in Pesterquest (in jade's end card, she's having her nails painted by rose.) Has been widely adopted by the community, those making their own fanventures and continuations, and the team behind Homestuck^2. In every way that matters, she's already thriving within the community that brought her to light a year ago. But her coming out in canon is something that will take time and a proper narrative arc to happen, one that is still being set up. We know it'll come eventually, the only question is “how”.

Not that the wind waits for anyone.

[pretend-writer]

Demolition Lovers (Hargreeves x sibling!reader)

Summary: Klaus and Y/N helps their brother, Luther find a perfect date.

Title Reference: Demolition Lovers x My Chemical Romance

Word Count: 1.6k words

Warning: swearing, mention of sex

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

It was a typical day at the Hargeeves mansion. Klaus and I hanging out as we lay across the couch next to each other, scrolling through our social media and sharing celebrity gossips that was trending that day.

Diego would then barge in, bothering us to get up and be productive but then end up eaves dropping and joining our conversation.

Then we'd have Vanya that'll feed us our daily snacks. She was like a mama bird; Hearing the rest of us complaining and bickering then feeds us the goodies to shut our mouth. It honestly worked every time and now I start to wonder if that was her trick all along.

After our snack was nap time, where Klaus and I would lay there for two to five hours, usually get up when the sun was down. Then we would plan our night, typically out for dinner or a night out if it was the weekend.

But our schedule, our precious paradise time was ruined by the one and only. Luther Hargreeves.

It wasn't supposed to be this way; Allison would go out to run errands, Ben worked all day like the responsible man that he was, and Five would just be Five, roaming town and doing God knows what. Luther would be home to research and dig through dad's old stuff.

Today however, wasn't the case.

He instead came in during mine and Klaus' precious nap time, groaning and yappin' about some girl on an app. Didn't know why he had to do this in the family room but there he was.

'Do you not see us sleeping here?' I complained as I lifted my head from the pillow, trying not to move a lot so that Klaus could stay asleep.

'Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to be loud.' He apologized as he stared at his phone, depressed and upset.

Klaus rolled his eyes. 'Well you are and you're still here.'

Luther froze in place, continuing to stare at the screen. Klaus and I looked at each other, nudging one another to see who was going to talk to him first.

The both of us got up, sitting down side to side as we looked at Luther and back at each other. Klaus seemed like he was unbothered, so I sighed and broke the silence. 'What's wrong buddy?'

'Nothing.' Luther frowned.

Squinting my eyes, I grabbed the pillow from the couch and threw it on Luther's head. 'You bitch! You woke us up from our nap and you're going to say "nothing" is bothering you?'

'Ow!' Luther rubbed his head. 'Okay, okay. Damn. It's this girl on tinder, she doesn't want to go on a date with me.'

'Well, what did you tell her? Did you say something stupid?'

Luther got up, 'See. This is why I didn't want to tell you guys becau-'

'Sorry, sorry.' I stood up and pulled Luther back onto the couch. 'Mind if I see the conversation?'

His face immediately turned red, 'Uhm. Do you have to?'

'If you want me to figure out why she's turning you down, yeah.'

Hesitantly, he pulled up the messages he had with the girl and then passed me the phone. Scrolling through the messages, I shook my head. 'Luther, she's DTF.'

'Yeah, I know that's why I don't understand why she turned me down. She brought it up first.'

Klaus blinked, 'What do you think DTF stands for?'

By the look on Luther's face, I knew he was confused. He looked over at the ceiling, thinking for a while before he replied to Klaus. 'Don't tell me I was wrong this whole time.'

'So what do you think it says?'

'Uhm... Date This Friday?'

Klaus awed, shaking his head as he left my side and took a seat next to him. He wrapped his arms around Luther, 'Buddy. No. That's not what it stands for. But that's cute of you.'

'Wait, huh? So this whole time me and her were on the wrong page? What did she mean then?'

'She wanted to fuck you.' I blurted, I felt bad that Luther was so confused. 'It stands for Down To Fuck.'

It was a dead giveaway that he had no clue what his whole conversation really meant, his whole face turned redder than ever. He buried his face into his hands. 'Oh no.'

'I didn't think you were talking to girls, honestly.' Klaus chuckled. 'You clearly got game, your noggin is just a little... outdated.'

'I got what? Game? No, I just deleted Candy Crush, it was too addicting.'

Klaus kept his laugh in, curling his lips as he slowly nodded back at his brother. 'Oh my gosh.'

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

It had been about two weeks, helping Luther get a dream girl that he deserved. Despite Luther being the annoying sibling, he had been there for me countless times and I wanted nothing but the best for him.

We've tried talking to the girls on the app, few weren't looking for anything serious, some trolling in the messages. After constant matching and messaging, Luther found someone he potentially saw a relationship with.

'Did you check your message from Claire yet?' Klaus asked.

'No. I'm kind of nervous, actually.' Luther laughed a little under his breath, shaking his legs as he gripped onto his phone.

Resting my hand on his shoulder, I reassured him. 'Don't be nervous, I'm sure she said yes to your date.'

Luther sighed, turning on his phone and scrolling through his messages. As his face lit up, he jumped off his seat. 'She said yes!'

Klaus got up and cheered, hugging Luther tightly. 'I knew it! So what time and where?'

'Ah- Uhm. Why... do you need to know?' Luther paused.

'Cause we're coming to watch.'

'No, no, no. I don't need you two spying on me. I'm already nervous as it is.'

'Yeah, Klaus let's just let him be. He's a big boy now.'

'But-'

'Let's give him the space he needs, Luther definitely needs his alone time with his girl.'

Klaus rolled his eyes, 'Okay. Have fun and tell me everything when you get home.'

A smile hasn't fade away since he saw the text; He was grinning widely than ever, never seen him this happy in my entire life. 'This is going to be so awesome!'

'Good luck buddy.' I smiled as I watch him do his little happy dance going up the stairs to get ready.

Klaus groaned, crossing his arms and pouting like a little child. 'Why can't we go spy on Luther?'

'But we are. I just wanted him to think we weren't.' I wanted nothing but the best for Luther, if it meant that he was going to have a perfect night with his perfect date, I was going to be protective of my brother.

'Perfect! I need to get my spy gear on.'

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

With the binocular in my hands, I looked into the restaurant Luther picked for the both of them. 'Oh my gosh, he looks so cute with his little bow tie.'

Luther was blushing, talking nervously with Claire. It seemed like it was going well, no awkward moment or embarrassing moment between them.

I looked over at Klaus, who was being too quiet next to me in the passenger's seat. He had a rather thick file in his hand. 'What are you reading?'

'Claire's life.' Klaus chuckled. 'She's smart as hell, really pretty. I'd say we did a pretty good job helping Luther.'

'How did you get a file on her life?'

Klaus smiled innocently, 'Ah. I followed Diego into his ex's job and got Ben to steal it for me.'

'You what?' I leaned my head back, staring at the car ceiling as I sighed. 'Klaus, Eudora is my friend. If she finds out that you stole someone's files from the police department, she'd hate me.'

'My bad, Y/N. If it makes you feel better, Ben rejected me a bunch of times. I made a deal with him that he could take over my body for three hours for the files.'

'Whatever.' Looking through the binoculars again, I asked him another question. 'So you didn't ask Diego to get it for you?'

Klaus shook his head. 'Nah, if I ever told him I knew he'd want to come with us to stalk Luther. I wanted some Klaus Y/N alone time.'

'Aw.' I said but immediately stopped. 'Are you saying this to make me forgive you?'

'Is it working?'

'Depends how the night goes.' After a sarcastic smile, I snatched the file off of his hand. 'Why did you want to steal this anyway?'

'You ask so many questions.'

'I know.'

It was rare for Klaus to do "the responsible thing", that was more of a me, Allison or Five's criteria. I couldn't think of a possible reason why he'd go out of his way to take a file to investigate on this girl.

'It's Luther, you know. I wanted to make sure he was going out with someone that won't screw him over again.'

'That's the nicest thing you've ever said.'

'Luther better appreciate this because I'm not going to jail for this shit.'

I smiled at my brother. 'Don't worry. I gotchu.'

A loud scream came from the entrance of the restaurant, Luther approaching us quickly as he eyed the both of us.

'Duck!' I yelled at Klaus as we tried to hide ourselves from his sight.

'Don't bother. I saw you guys from the restaurant!' Luther said as he knocked on the window. 'Why are you guys here? You told me you wouldn't come.'

'I know, I know.' I rolled the window down and squealed as I reached for his bow tie. 'I just couldn't resist! You look so adorable, brother.'

He grunted, 'Stop. Guys go home, you're going to ruin this date with the woman that I love.'

'Woah! Love!?' Klaus and I said in sync.

Luther covered his mouth. He mumbled into his hand. 'Pretend I didn't say that!'

'Pretend?' I laughed, 'Luther. I can't pretend, I'm sorry. That was sort of funny. A little little little bit cute but mostly funny as hell.'

Klaus reached over me to grab onto his hand. 'Dude, you're already whipped but that's okay. But Y/N's right. It's a bit funny not going to lie.'

'I'm whipped?' Luther cocked his head. 'I don't do that sort of foreplay during se-'

'Luther, that's not what it means!'

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell: "Mental health isn't a mystery"

YouTuber Daniel Howell has written a book aimed at demystifying mental health and offering a toolkit for people who are struggling. He tells us why You Will Get Through This Night.

Dan Howell has a message for the struggling.

Don't suffer in silence. Reach out. Connect.

"It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same," says Howell. "It wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer."

The YouTuber has written a book that aims to demystify mental health, a straight-talking missive that offers practical solutions and even a few jokes. He describes You Will Get Through This Night as a "lean, mean, mental health machine" – check out our interview below.

Tell us about your new book – You Will Get Through This Night…

This is the book that I wish I could have read when I needed it. Too many of us go through life not really thinking about our mental health, how we think and how it makes us feel, and if we just learn a few tips (that we should all be taught) it can literally change our lives! Why waste any more time? The book is a lean, mean, mental health machine - there's no fluff or waffle, it gets straight to the point and tells you the practical things you can try in your life right now that will make a difference.

I'm here as the guy that makes it relatable, so you don't feel bad if you see yourself in these struggles, and funny. Because sometimes after a long day the last thing I want to do is 'homework' or read something boring, so if I can make a few inappropriate jokes about my mess of a life to make it enjoyable, I'm happy to.

Are there any books you used as inspiration when writing yours?

I actually really tried to avoid getting influenced by other books out there! A lot of mental health books are either: celeb memoirs that are amazing for relating to and shattering the stigma, but not great advice for you, or serious psychological self help that goes really deep on specific topics and the theory, but are a struggle to get through to the important revelations.

If you only ever buy one book to understand your mind and sort your life out – I want this to be the one. It's like the highlights of the entire library, crammed into 300 pages – designed for you not to just read once, but come back to and refer to as a toolkit for whenever you need it.

Was there a specific incident in your life that spurred you to write it?

Definitely. When I opened up about my struggles with depression, it was incredibly hard – and terrifying. I seriously thought I'd damage my career, people would judge me and think I'm 'crazy' and I'd have to wade through misunderstanding. It was the opposite. People empathised, understood and related.

Some people saw themselves in my story and realised for the first time that their life wasn't supposed to be that way, others finally understood a silent struggle that someone in their life was going through too. It showed me not just the importance of sharing your story to break the stigma that still exists around mental health, but how much incredibly important stuff there is for all of us to know about our minds!

My experience in life has given me a following of passionate people that show me every day the power we all have by telling our stories, the responsibility that comes with a platform, and the good you can do with it. I knew I had to write the book that could have saved me years of struggling – so hopefully someone out there doesn't go through the same.

Great trailer for the book! And really astute point: everyone in the world is alone with their thoughts before they fall asleep. How do you manage your thoughts in that time?

Thank you! I really wanted to show firstly, that mental health is universal. A lot of us only think 'mental health' applies to people with serious anxiety or depression, when it's actually how all of us think and feel all the time – if you are too stressed, have difficulty dealing with anger, or worry too much up in your head and it's holding you back in any way from enjoying life, that's your mental health! You can do something about it.

I'm someone that has real trouble getting to sleep if I'm worrying about stuff and the book deals with this in so many ways: from learning mindfulness to get perspective on your thoughts, to being present and using your senses and body to change how your brain operates, to the practical side of sorting out your problems so they don't go bump in the night.

Deep question – but why do you think night often brings out our darker thoughts and emotions? (No pun intended.)

'The Night' is such an important metaphor, not just for the dark times, but that literally we spend all our days pushing our fears to the back of our minds (to be distracted by the activities of the day), but when night comes and it's just you and your thoughts – they suddenly appear and you have to confront the truth.

We're all great at lying to ourselves about what bothers us and how we really feel, whether that's a day to day problem on your mind or a huge skeleton in the closet (for me literally my own skeleton) that is having a huge effect on your life.

The good news is – you can 'be your own light'. Mental health isn't a mystery or something set in stone, it's something you can influence and shape to make yourself healthier and happier.

As a YouTuber, how would you describe the relationship between your mental health and social media? Presumably it must be complicated…

I am definitely trapped in a digital nightmare that I created, haha! Social media has its good sides, from finding communities and support, to having fun and even learning about things that you might not get from a classroom or in your real world environment.

The downside is that the internet brings out the worst in people, from trolls hiding behind screens, to social media beaming us with addictive algorithms that force us to compare ourselves to the highlight reels of our friends' lives and the world's most perfect and successful celebrities.

Even just the information overload of our social lives and the 24 hour news cycle is too much for our primitive brains to handle, no wonder it's so bloody stressful!

How would you recommend people use social media for the benefit of their mental health? And negate its potentially harmful effects?

I do a whole deep dive on social media and how to manage it. From 'muting' that annoying friend, to curating the content on your timeline to take it from stressful and upsetting, to inspirational and mood boosting! It's important to get perspective on why people act differently on the internet and how to interpret the sometimes extreme actions we see (that someone would never do in real life).

We have this incredible power in our hands, connecting us to the whole world all the time, we just need to know how to make it work for us.

Is there a piece of advice or mantra that you’ve found helpful? Either someone else’s or one of your own?

I'll spoil it now: the number one tip for managing your mental health and general emotional wellbeing is support from others. I say this as the biggest introvert in the world that needs a two week holiday alone in a cave after going to a party for five minutes – but sharing what you're thinking and feeling with another person can be a lifesaver.

Even if they don't have magical advice, just feeling seen, heard, acknowledged and getting what's going on up in your head out into the world and onto the table can give you perspective and feel less alone. It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same – it wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer!

Don't suffer in silence. You've got this. You will get through this night.

[greatteachergojou]

The burden of being the strongest

-> on why Gojo won’t be settling down and why he’s such a child

I’ve been seeing ppl commenting on Gojo being a player and all (based on the character infomations from the fanbook) and it prompted me to write a little brief character analysis on Gojo regarding this matter and also kinda trailed off to a topic that I’ve been meaning to talk about because I get the impression that Gojo is often only perceived as the goofy op madlad who is above everyone and everything - which is also true but there’s also more behind those prominent character traits of his.

!!! Beware of SPOILERS if you’re not caught up to the manga!!! (nothing too specific tho)

------------------------------

So... Gojo Satoru is a player. Gege Akutami has stated that he wears sunglasses when he meets up with them ladies (I think it was in some Q&A if I remember correctly) and in the fanbook he said he can’t picture Gojo being faithful to any specific woman. - Not too surprising if you look at his surface level behaviour/personality. That said, there’s more to it than him being a player just for the sake of it.

Remember that being a jujutsu sorcerer is a high risk job - except for Gojo... since he’s the strongest even the chances of him getting injured is basically zero. But he has seen too many friends and colleagues hurt/loose their lives. You might just die on any random easy mission if you’re not Gojo. It’s not a coincidence that seemingly most sorcerers are not married or anything like that. This job is shit (Nanamin, you’re absolutely right). Choosing this job basically means giving up a normal orderly life in exchange for a life full of uncertainties and dangers. If you’re the type to care for your family it’s probably best not to start one in the first place to spare them from tragedy. As harsh as it sounds, it’s easier to put your life on the line when you don’t have to worry about your other half waiting for you to return home. I think the only ones that would really care to get married and have kids are those from the big sorcerer families because they need to continue their bloodline. And I feel tempted to assume that they don’t care in particular about how their family members feel...

Now, the Gojo clan is one of the big three. It’d normally mean Satoru has the duty to continue his bloodline. He could leave this to other clan members though (assuming he’s not the only member of the Gojo family left). But since he is the holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless and he’s the head of his family, there’d be no way around him getting a wife at some point and have some babies. But we know he’s not about those traditions and very much disdains the inner workings of the clans. And since he’s the head of his family and the strongest, I guess no one can force him to anything anyways.

Gojo is a massive troll and most folks just find him super annoying and  too aloof. But that’s just the side of him that he chooses to display in  most situations. It’s not like a goofy character doesn’t have a  serious side. It’s not like the strongest character never hurts. Because  of his immense power and his nonchalant behaviour one tend to forget  that in the end of the day he’s still just a human. I don’t mean that  he might be a depressed character deep down though.  Rather, I think he’s an innately optimistic person.  It’s just that he surely has some sadness in him that he hides away. I  think he is just the typ of character who, while he’s  indeed  a joyful person, also conveniently uses this side of his to mask the more heavier  things that are on his mind. And he deliberately chooses not to let  people get too close to him because that will prevent him from getting hurt -  which btw perfectly fits his infinity cursed technique...

He understands that being the  strongest is far from meaning that he can protect everyone. God knows  how many friends he’s already lost and while people around him are dying  left and right, he’ll surely remain the last man standing. That’s really  sad if you think about it. While he himself might be untouchable, you  can get to him through threatening others that he cares about like for  example his students. And that is a potential weak point for someone  who’s supposed to be invincible. The strongest sorcerer being  vulnerable? How outrageous, that can’t be allowed, right? Imagine he’d let himself get attached and have a family to care for. He just can’t protect them all the time and he has many enemies on top of that.

Also, right now his ultimate goal is to fundamentally change this world they live in. It’s a huuuge task to tackle (and probably something only he can do). His mind is occupied by this goal which requires him to train as many future talents as possible. When he says he’s busy he always says it in a joking manner but he really is super busy with his general duties of being the strongest and with his ambitious vision (the fanbook also states that he doesn’t sleep much. my poor manchild. how come he still looks like he’s only 18? that’s not fair. i mean, have you seen nanami and ijichi?) Long story short, he also just doesn’t seem too interested in anything else atm. And honestly, who knows if he’ll survive until the very end of the story...

So on first glance it  seems like being the strongest comes with benefits only. But actually,  it’s lonely up there at the very top. And with great power comes great  responsibility. I think he really started to understand that after the  whole deal with Riko.  It’s when he suffered  a devastating  defeat that he started to  understand what it means to be the strongest and it’s when Getou  fundamentally changed that he started to form a clear vision of what he  wants to do and what he can do with his power.  

We don’t know much of Gojo‘s upbringing yet. But  I think it’s save to assume that born as the absolute strongest already had a lot  of burden placed on him basically from the moment he was born. So since  his earliest childhood he needed to deal with the immensely high  expectations from his family and the sorcerer world in general as well  as dealing with the many folks who’d maybe try to get rid of the kid while he’s still just a child. I don’t think it  makes for a happy childhood. From the top of my head I can recall two panels of child Gojo and in both he looked like a distanced child (kinda had the same vibe as Megumi when he was a child).

The circumstances just place a lot of burden for a child. And I guess when puberty hits all those pent-up emotions made him despise authority and made him a rebellious teen who was all cocky and found that those responsibilities as the strongest sorcerer and the whole deal with protecting the weak was the biggest nuisance ever. - That also explaines why he said he won’t allow anyone to steal the best years of the youth (and why he stopped the elders from taking away the students decision on whether or not they should continue the Goodwill event and then proceeded to opt for a fun baseball game) and why he is usually acting like a child himself. Because he didn’t get to live out his childhood and youth himself he cherishes every opportunity he can get to just be easygoing and carefree.

[tatwaffel]

“Remus didn't love Tonks. Tonks forced him into a relationship. He was too old for her!”

Bullshit.

First things first, why do some people think Remus didn't love Tonks? Well, Remus is more of a background character. He doesn't talk about his feelings a lot and lives very withdrawn because of his lycanthropy. But then there's this huge problem of Remus Lupin having no self confidence.

Why's that a problem? Well...

We had this wonderful conversation between the trio and Remus where he finally opened up a bit. He said marrying Tonks was a mistake.

But here we have to pay attention. Mind you, Remus has no self confidence. He thinks himself to be a monster. 'He had never fallen in love before'. He's scared and overwhelmed.

By saying he shouldn't have married Tonks he does not say in the slightest that he doesn't love her. He thinks he's ruined her life, spoiled his unborn son's life, made them outcasts.

I ask you, if you don't care about your wife and your unborn child, if you don't love them, would you care like that?

Remus clearly is full of regret but only for 'ruining' Tonks's life. Remus hates himself for that. And, being an outcast himself for years, he runs away. He panics. He's babbling here, clearly distraught. It seems like he left Tonks and apparated straight here.

So this is the scene that makes Remadora haters doubt. But, with all due of respect, if you really think that in this scene Remus finally admitted that he doesn't love Tonks, then you don't understand Remus's character at all.

Now we have that negative thing sorted, here some more positive evidence why Remus loved Tonks.

I'd like to refer to the article on Pottermore here, saying Remus was 'first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten' by Tonks. 'He had never fallen in love before'.

And this fits so well!

You have this clumsy, bubbly, jolly auror lass with the pink hair and large boots. She's constantly tripping, always up for mischief, bubbling with life. For Remus, Tonks is the definition of happiness. Happiness - a thing he's missed for many many years. He learns to smile again, watching her trip over the troll leg but still laughing, watching her morph her hair in a all colours of the rainbow or walking in with a beak. Despite there being a war, he can finally smile again. He found happiness in her.

But then, as they naturally go on missions (like it's said on Pottermore), he realizes that Tonks is capable. She's an auror trained by Alastor Moody after all. She could battle three death eaters at once and probably still win without being scarred. But he's not only impressed by that. He's impressed that she doesn't mind him being a werewolf. He's impressed that she still wants to spend time with him. She's so different from most of the wizard community. She's kind of a freak, really, just like him.

But then, feelings come. He finds himself not only smitten, but seriously smitten. Tonks is all he secretly yearns for. Someone who takes him the way he is, someone who makes him smile even in this dark times. He has fallen for the clumsy auror with the vivid hair.

When she told him she loved him 'after a year of warm friendship', his first reaction was a kind of happiness he's never felt before! He did not immediately start rejecting her, as said on Pottermore, that came later. His first reaction was happiness that the woman he loved loved him back.

Then there's the fact that he clearly enjoyed her company. Pottermore states that, despite his belief that he had to reject her, he still was happy every time he got paired on an overnight mission with her. Furthermore, they are together all the time! Usually, whenever Remus is mentioned in OOTP, Tonks is around. Whether as an old lady escorting the kids back to Hogwarts, or as herself at the breakfast table at headquarters. Coincidence? Well, you never saw Hestia or Emmeline that much in Remus's company, did you?

Oh, and there's this cute little fact of Remus being jealous. Before telling him she's fallen for him sometime in summer 1996, Tonks mentions that 'Sirius is still handsome, isn't he? Even after Azkaban.' And Remus's reaction is jealousy. He tells her that he supposes she's fallen for Sirius, then. Would he react like that if he wasn't in love with Tonks? Certainly not.

A chapter Remadora haters must've overlooked when reading the books was the one in DH when Remus came to Shell Cottage and proudly told everyone about their son. He's beaming and bubbling, which is nothing like the withdrawn and melancholic Remus we know. He's incredibly happy. He also speaks of 'Dora' pretty much, in a very affectionate way.

But second thing, Tonks pushed Remus into a relationship. What?

This is something most Remadora haters say. But, if they really knew Remus's character, they'd realize it's utter bullshit.

Yes, Remus is a lonely and sad man a lot of the time. He yearns to have someone who loves him, be near this someone. He doesn't like to be lonely.

However, he went away with the werewolf pack for about a year. Again, Remus Lupin went to life with the werewolf pack of Fenrir Greyback, the one who ruined his life, for an entire bloody year. An attempt to run away from his feelings, make Tonks realize she wouldn't miss him and just fall for another man - but most importantly here: Remus did manage to keep his distance tho the woman who he loved was waiting at a safer place than somewhere in a cave or forest filled with wolves.

Remus does posses a great will power. If he really didn't want to engulf himself in a relationship, a marriage with Tonks, he simply wouldn't!

Remus wouldn't marry a woman he didn't love just because she loved him and he wanted to do her a favor.

Just recently, I read someone saying that Tonks isn't a strong woman. She's clingy for chasing after Remus.

Tonks didn't chase after Remus. If she had, she would've abandoned her auror duties and left for any forest to get Remus back from the pack. But she stayed at Hogwarts doing her duty of protecting the castle.

We all know she suffered from depression after Remus started rejecting her. Her hair is mousy brown, she looks ill and sad. No wonder. In her eyes, the love of her life preferred death over being with her. How is that not heartbreaking? Besides, her cousin second degree and good friend, Sirius, passed away recently. She's pretty much alone now. And there's a war! She's lost Sirius to the veil, has lost or might lose Remus to the wolves, might lose her parents to the death eaters. This is all much to cope with.

But I ask you: doesn't it make Tonks strong that she kept going? She wasn't selfish and chased after Remus, she guarded Hogwarts because that's where the Order needed her. Plus, she showed her emotions. She didn't try to act like all was well. And that is true strength.

Tonks didn't cling to Remus, pushing him to be with her because she wanted to. Tonks could've had any man, actually. But she wanted Remus.

An important detail we have to see here is that Tonks's attitude described as 'clingy' isn't rooted in selfishness.

This is fiction, but Remus was a broken man. And Tonks tried to fix him. Though Remus said and thought the contrary, Tonks knew that he was indeed worthy of love. Tonks is not stupid - she realized that Remus liked her back. So why should she not try to make him realize he could and should be happy?

There's another thing Remadora haters bring up, which is saying that Tonks's patronus didn't change of pure love, but obsession. Tonks's patronus is a wolf like Remus's because she's obsessed with him. This is compared to Snape's relation to Lily, which is also (labeled as) obsession. Doe and doe, wolf and wolf.

Now what if I tell you that doe and doe doesn't work in nature? Wolf and wolf does. Remus being a male ought to have a male wolf patronus, Tonks a female one. Like it was for James and Lily aka stag and doe.

Tonks's patronus changed because she truly loved Remus. As already stated before, she wasn't obsessed with him.

Tonks didn't go into the battle because she was obsessed with Remus either. She joined the Battle of Hogwarts to fight alongside her husband. Tonks did something Tonks always does when it comes to Remus: make sure he's not alone, make sure he's loved, make sure he's protected.

Last thing, the 13 years age gap.

Well? Why exactly does that matter?

In OOTP Tonks was 22, Remus was 35. In the wizarding world, Tonks was a woman of full age. Five years over the magical line of 17 years, actually. Both were adults. Why is that problematic? When Tonks was born, Remus was 13. That even makes him too old to be her father! I see no problem in that age gap, to be honest. I only see a problem in the narrow minded people who keep using it as a reason why Remus and Tonks shouldn't be together.

I do not expect you all to ship Remadora after this and abandon all your other Remus x any character ships you liked before, simply to stop hating on Remadora - stop hating on any other ship. This is fiction, after all.

All of us are drawn to that one ship, canon or not, that fills our heart with indescribable joy and makes us believe in true love.

For me, that is Remus x Tonks.

[phantomchick]

Naruto Fic Rec Masterpost!

The Last To Know by KuriQuinn Oneshot, Gen, Teen and Up, Team Seven, Sakura and Sasuke, Sakura and Team 7, Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending, trust, broken trust, forgiveness, hurt/comfort, this fic is fantastic and made me have so many feels for the characters as well as the bonds between them, Character Dynamics,

Summary: As usual, telling her the truth happens as though by afterthought. And this time, she's not taking it.

i'll always be there for you by RecklessWriter Oneshot, Gen, Itachi and Sasuke feels, sibling feels, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Big Brother Uchiha Itachi, a part of me niggles over team 7 failing a mission but I pretend that they ran into the hunter nin afterwards and Kakashi got the scroll back, it do be like that sometimes, Good big brother Itachi, Bad big brother Itachi, it’s complicated, Feels,

Summary:

He’s pressed against something warm. There are fingers carding gently through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

“Nii-san,” Sasuke whispers.

The hand in his hair freezes.

Sasuke gets thrown into a frozen lake. Itachi doesn't know how to stop being a big brother, even when he's supposed to be pretending he doesn't care.

The Beautiful Orange Thing by zafiro Oneshot, Gen, Naruto and Kurama, Naruto is a very lonely kid and the kyubi is a very lonely bijuu, Pre-Naruto Canon Era, chibi-Naruto, Naruto loves Orange, Kurama tolerates Naruto because he is Cute, sweetness and light, angst and fluff, so cute I wanna physically hug this fic to my chest

Summary: Naruto arrives at a weird place and finds something wonderful there.

Maslow by FriendshipCastle Oneshot, Gen, T for cursing, canonical child neglect, Iruka feels, Naruto feels, implied/referenced child abuse, but nothing worse than what’s in canon, angst, hurt/comfort,

Summary: The first four tiers of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs applied to Naruto’s depressing childhood. Alternatively: Iruka slowly becomes the best replacement mother a ninja could have.

take the fight from the kid by theformerone Oneshot, Gen, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Team 7, Canon Compliant, but can be read as divergent, Post Wave arc, Pre-Chuunin Exams,  

Summary: Training with his team is different than it was before the mission to Wave. Sasuke notices how things have changed.

A Clean Break by GwendolynStacy Oneshot, Gen, Teen and Up,  Hatake Kakashi and Team 7, Team as Family, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Team Fluff, Kakashi feels, Self-Harm via compulsive hand washing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Happy Ending,

Summary: Every member of Team 7 has their personal set of demons to haunt them. While Kakashi is always prepared to lend his students a listening ear, he still hasn’t quite figured out how to ask for help when he’s the one crumbling.

The Beginning and the End by QuinsValoria Oneshot, short oneshot, gen, THIS HAD ME SOBBING OVER KUSHINA AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT’S SO SHORT, pre-canon era, angst, Dont worry kushina, Your baby makes it out just fine, cries into laptop screen, Hurt/Comfort,

Summary:

“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” —Robert Browning

Uzumaki Kushina is an amazing mother, even in the very short time she has left.

OR

Kushina comforts her baby.

The Prince Of Leaves And Deep Water by RayShippouUchiha Ongoing, 3 chapter fic, do you ever read a fic with language that is so pretty and evocative that you just want to lean into it, like a kid listening to a piece of folklore that’s been passed down, it’s just beautiful to read? And the words slice and cut into your feelings in the best of ways, angst, hurt/comfort, drama, Kushina feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Uzumaki Lore, well worth the read even as a stand alone should it never update again, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canonical Child Neglect, Uzushio feels,

Summary: ‘Protect him,’ Kushina prays in the quiet of her own mind as she leaves; pleading silently to the old spirits from her childhood, to the things that the Uzumaki Elders used to whisper about in hushed tones.

‘Love him,’ Kushina begs of the things she only knows from instinct and half remembered stories, those things filled with the power of salt and sun and deep deep waters.  Those things that live and thrive in the heart and soul of every Uzumaki who has ever breathed and battled and bled.  'Guide him, keep him safe for always.  But love him most of all. My little prince of eddies and leaves.’

Left behind, left alone and cold where before there was only a soft sort of warmth and a steady kind of safety, Naruto wails.

Final Evaluation by Do_the_Cool_Whip Completed, 5 Chapter Fic, Gen, Umino Iruka & The Rookie Nine, Iruka-Sensei, Feels, fluffy, I have so many emotions about Iruka being the best teacher in the elemental nations and this fic brought them all out to play, Excellence, Kakashi is a troll, a huge troll, like, he’s such a troll he’s a mountain troll, Asuma is a lesser troll, like he’s mostly decent but still infuriating so he’s a bridge troll, Kurenai is so cool that even when she’s trolling as is her right and duty as the jounin elite she is, the person she’s trolling still respects her for it, a river troll, the kids are so cute and young here, you can really feel Iruka’s affection for them, please revel in the wonderful that is this entire fic, revel I say

Summary: Progress evaluations are one-on-one consultation meetings between academy students and their teacher. Their purpose is to inform academy students of their strengths and weaknesses and guide them down their ideal path to becoming a strong shinobi. Upon graduating the academy and passing their jounin-sensei test, new genin return to the academy for one final consultation. (Or: The story of what happens when Umino Iruka uses his final meetings with his students as way to send them off to become the best shinobi they can possibly be.)

it takes a village by quillofferings Oneshot, Gen, snapshot series, angst, character insight, konoha 12, rookie 9, team Gai, team 10, team 8, team 7, repeating patterns and revelations, kinda gives a sense of the culture of a childhood in Konoha in a way that’s very quietly tragic, this story was written well before shippuden came out but it still reads mostly true to me, A Classic of the Fandom,

Summary: A Naruto snapshot series in the form of a oneshot.

spirals by nescione Gen, Oneshot, Team Seven, Generations, Team 7, Dai Nana Han, Spirals, Repeating Patterns, things happening the same across generations in repeating patterns is a big theme in the canon and lots of fic delve into it and play with the whole idea as a result, but this fic does it especially well, Team as Family, Angst, Fluff, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, A Classic of the Fandom, Summary: From the sannin to the present- a look at how history repeats itself, and how it doesn't.

this, and love too, will ruin us by RecklessWriter Oneshot, Gen, Itachi and Sasuke feels, Naruto Feels, Short and Sweet, Angst, Whump, Brother Feels, Sibling feels, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Naruto Uzumaki Needs a Hug,

Summary: Naruto remembers the first time he saw Sasuke and Itachi.

He remembers looking at them and thinking, I wish I had someone who loved me like that.

Ten Facts About Team Yamato by Lisse Oneshot, Gen, short and sweet, Team 7 feels, Team as Family, Dai Nana Han, Team Seven, Team Yamato, characterisation, short but solid, Ficlet,

Summary: On paper, their team doesn't exist.

Troubling New Developments by SicTransitGloria Oneshot, Teen and Up, hilarious, pre-shippuden, Team as Family, Kakashi pov, Team 7, AHAHAHAHA,  Puberty hits the genin,

Summary: Kakashi takes a moment to wrap his mind around equating Ino’s chest with enemy shinobi while Asuma begins beating his head against the table and groaning about how he didn’t sign up for this. Rated for language and the general horror that is puberty

Of Harrowed Hearts by Sable_Scribe Ongoing and possibly (probably) Abandoned, Gen, Long Fic, we’re at 36 chapters in as of the time I’m posting this, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix It, Families of Choice, Team Seven, Team as Family, Bamf Kakashi, Good Teacher! Kakashi, Angst, Uzushio Lore, Fluff, Uzushio Feels, Uzumaki heritage, Bamf Team 7, BAMF Rookie Nine, Naruto's ability to make friends with giant chakra demons surfaces early, Rookie Nine, Rookie 9, Konoha 12, Naruto and Kurama,

Summary Naruto has been hearing the rumbling growl in the back of his head for as long as he can remember. He’s seven when he tries to talk to it for the first time. He’s the dead last, the failure at everything, so he doesn’t actually expect to succeed. And when he’s suddenly standing, knee deep in murky water and face to face with a demon, he has no idea what to expect. As it turns out, the world could use something unexpected.

Automatic by Dayadhvam Oneshot, Gen, Sand Siblings, Fluff, Team as Family, but also, Family as Family, Short and Sweet, A Classic of The Fandom

Summary: Gaara's shield defense is automatic: he has never had to consciously think about ordering the sand where it is needed. Kankurou and Temari have always known this.

As Is the Sea Marvelous by blackkat Mature, Gen, Eleven Chapter Fic, Warring States Era, Uchiha Madara/Senju Tobirama, Izuna Lives AU, everybody lives nobody dies, Hurt/Comfort, brotherly feels, sibling relationships, Angst With A Happy Ending, Insecurity, Self-Sacrifice, Imprisonment, Fix-It

Summary: Tobirama is willing to give absolutely anything for Hashirama and his dream. Including his life.

A Lesson In Trust by Live Gen, Oneshot, Shikamaru & Naruto friendship, academy days, trust exercise, fluff

Summary: All Iruka wants is for his class to start trusting each other, too bad Shikamaru would rather watch the clouds...

Snow Is Serious Business When Your Business Is Being A Kid by vulcanhighblood Gen, Oneshot, Iruka and Naruto, Umino Iruka is a Good Teacher, Uzumaki Naruto Needs a Hug, Fluff, Snow

Summary: Iruka's trying to teach his class, but the first snowfall of the year makes keeping their attention more difficult than he would have liked.

The Consequences of Winning by tabjoy13 Oneshot, Gen, Team 7, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi is a Good Teacher, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Feels, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi Is Trying, Wave Mission

Summary: Three days. It had been three days since Zabuza’s attack, since Kakashi passed out, and since Team Seven took refuge in the bridge builder’s home. Three days and Kakashi hadn’t shown a sign of stirring. Three young genin are left with the question: now what? Cross posted on FF.net.

discendo docemus by llamallamaduck Mature, Ongoing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Trauma/Ptsd, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Good Orochimaru, A lot of talk about depression and mental instability, Also Sharingan fuckery and assorted eye-trauma, rarepair, Itachi & Sasuke, eventual Sasuke/Ukitake, Itachi & Tsunade, 

Summary: There are some things a seven-year-old psyche is not ready to endure. An S-ranked torture technique preformed by a traumatized thirteen-year-old is one of those things. Sasuke doesn’t enjoy hallucinating memories of his murdered family day in and day out, but he’s learned to be philosophical about such things. It’s everything else that’s the problem, really.

Nidaime Otokage by DuskBeforeDawn Ongoing, inspired by nukenin, Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Protective Hatake Kakashi, BAMF Hatake Kakashi, BAMF Dai-nana-han,Team 7, Team as Family, Non-Konoha Shinobi Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Kage level Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi-centric, fluff, adventure, crack, mature, fun read

Summary: No one knew him.His father was still alive.His Sharingan acted like it had always been his.Kakashi was twenty-two years in the past of a different world.

French Kissing, the End of the World, and Other Impossible Ordeals by Tsume_Yuki Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Time Travel, Uchiha Sasuke Being an Asshole, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Time Travel Fix-It, Smitten Uchiha Sasuke, grumpy asshole/cheerful optimist, this fic is literally just Sasuke being soft for Naruto, Mature but like it’s fiiine the author could’ve left it at teen and up and it would’ve gotten a pass at least from me

Summary: This is it, centuries of excellent genetics, of carefully selected marriages to maximise the potential of future generations and it’s going to be Sasuke who introduces idiocy to the Uchiha bloodline. The ancestors must be rolling in their graves. In which Sasuke is smitten, Naruto is a badass, and time travel happens.

No Tomorrow by Authorship Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Clan, Shisui Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Longfic, Completed, Found Family, Fix It, Mature, Time Travel, Fuck Danzo

Summary: The water was crushing, pummelling Shisui's broken form, even as it swept him further and further from Konoha. 

And then Shisui woke up.

It's two months until the day he died. Two months to change the current of his life, of his Clan, of his village. And Shisui has no intention of letting history run its course.

¦ part 1 ¦ part 2 ¦ part 3 ¦