#how am I the idiot in this story
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Feeling like cracking open my skull, throwing up, never leaving bed etc
#how can people fake intimacy I donāt get it#how can you talk to someone and tell them intimate things about yourself and itās al fake????????????????#like genuinely okay Iām drunk but how is that something people do#why canāt you be sincere#I told this man things about myself I donāt tell people very easily and he doesnāt even have the decency to fucking answer my fucking mail#if youāre gonna act inappropriately with a student at least fucking apologise when they ask you to stop#I was perfectly polite as well#god I fucking hate myself for being so fucking naive#how am I the idiot in this story#why does he get to walk away and Iām here getting drunk by myself cause i donāt know how else to deal with this#heās probably out walking his fucking dogs (theyāre not his he borrows them from a neighbour and I know this cause I pay attention to him)#god forbid I open up to people#why do I have to feel wretched and stupid and embarrassed about this when heās the one trying to fuck any and all of his students#kind of funny how easily I believed my opinions and thoughts mattered lol#this man told me he canāt have children and how it impacted his marriage and I genuinely cannot tell you if it was a lie#sorry for this Iāve had to much wine and been crying for like an hour#Iām gonna sleep now#ugh#emmys thoughts#too*
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secret admirer part twenty-six
679 words
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five
Steve studies Eddieās sketches with a frown. Theyāre thumbnails of people in different positions, and Steve canāt help but compare them to his own. Perhaps he simply has to come to terms with the fact that heāll never be a good artist. He thought he was improving, given all the time and effort heās putting into the portraits, especially Eddieās, but no. He still sucks.
The point of the assignment wasnāt to make the drawings good - only to provide a quick recap on anatomy. Still, though, Eddieās are good. And Steveāsā¦ Well, at least Steve isnāt going to get a poor grade (because thatās frowned upon when the student tries their best).
The figures on his paper are unproportionate and vaguely unsettling, like his art tends to be.
āThey canāt be that bad, Steve,ā Eddie says, naively.
Steve had unthinkingly shielded his paper from the other teen - a habit heād picked up from the project, and when Steve had asked, Eddie had handed his own over passively because heās a fucking art prodigy, apparently.
Steve slumps in his seat and places his paper in front of Eddie. He hadnāt even pushed to see it. Not once. Now, he picks it up and studies the sketches for a solid minute, brows furrowed in concentration.Ā
Steveās frown deepens considerably. Heās beginning to regret handing it over for judgment. Eventually, though, Eddie sets the paper on the table and looks up to make sure he has Steveās attention before he issues his verdict. As if Steveās attention is ever directed elsewhere.
Once assured Steveās eyes are on him, Eddie picks up his pencil and hovers over the paper with the eraser aimed at it. āMay I?ā he questions.Ā
Steve huffs. "Sure. āS not like they can get any worse," he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Eddie erases things here and there. Steve thinks he's about to begin fixing the drawings, but he simply straightens and slides the paper over to Steve. He leans in close and points to one of the places he had erased. "Okay, so...āĀ
He continues to suggest ways Steve could make them look more like the references.Ā
At the end of class, Steve actually feels better footed - ready to finish up his portraits. He's almost done with his own, actually, and he only needs a few more things until he'll be satisfied with Eddie's.Ā
The bell rings and Steve turns to make plans with Eddie only to find the teen already looking at him expectantly. "Uh, my place?" Steve suggests. It's only fair after Eddie had hosted on Monday.Ā
Eddie nods in acknowledgement. "Sounds good, Stevie."
Steve clears his throat, trying not to let it show that heās aware his face has begun to flame with the arrival of the nickname.Ā
Stevie.Ā
It's not like it's unprecedented, people have called him Stevie here and there for as long as he can remember.
It feels different coming from Eddie, though. Makes him feel special.
"You wanna follow my car, then?" Steve asks, standing from his seat finally.Ā
Eddie levels him with a look that's hard to interpret. "Bold of you to assume the entire school doesn't know where your castle is, Mr. Keg King."Ā
Right, he'd forgotten about the parties.Ā
Steve scratches his check. "Huh, right. Meet you there?ā
Eddie agrees and Steve finally takes his leave.Ā
Hours later, when dismissal has rolled around, Steve is trying to remember what state he'd left the house in that morning.
He doesnāt go to his locker even though Eddieās library book - which heād picked up yesterday - is in his locker and heād wanted to grab it for tonight. He's trying to avoid Tommy. He knows his friend will just act like nothing ever happened. And to him, nothing did. He's probably forgotten already, honestly.Ā
Steve doesn't forget - he never does.
He goes straight to his bimmer and unlocks and opens the door, but as heās about to descend into his seat, a hand claps him on the back and he straightens again.Ā
So, Tommy's found him anyway. Great.
tag list (closed)
@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso
@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie
@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve
@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx
@tinyplanet95 @dannys-guilt-ridden-cockroach @theohohmoment @corvus-perplexus @hippieg1rl420
@blurryjoji @bookbinderbitch @arthurianace @dragonmama76 @thesuninyaface
@tillystealeaves @p0lybl4nkk @sageclipse @mugloversonly @chameleonhair
@thedragonsaunt @yesdangerpls @sanctumdemunson @slv-333 @loguine-linguine
@resident-gay-bitch @anaibis @moomkin77 @thrashbatx @salchica
@flustratedcas @ajeff855 @nerdyglassescheeseychick @pearynice @imaginary-maggie-waggie
#guyssssss#i wanna finish this so bad you have no idea#i can't promise it'll be speedy#but i can promise that i am NOT giving up on this story#i love these idiots too much to leave them (and you guys) hanging#it's just that the writing was already inching along what with school and work and drama#but now that i'm hardly even reading for steddie anymore...#let's just say#yikes#i love hearing how much you guys like this series#it's what motivates me to get more stuff out there#anyways this is what i had written before buddie took over my life and brain#also sorry is this is bad#i'll shut up now#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie#tommy hagan
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MOM THE FUCKING DEMON POSSESSED ME AGAIN AND IT DIDN'T WANNA WORK ON ANIMATRONICS BANGS HEAD
Singles under the cut!
#anyways hi yes i dont CARE if you dont know dragonball you are GOING to peep my babies#dragonball ocs#these are. very specifically for db xenoverse 2 do you understand how mentally unwell i am about that game#and how ANGUISHED i am that APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN FUCKING. STORY SHIT HAPPENING AND I NEVER KNEW!!!!!!!!!!#anyways hi these are my sillies that have gone through So Many fucking redesigns oh my god#kallabash used to be a girl. not anymore [transgenderfication beam be upon ye] /hj#jericho oh my god sweet baby i've been fighting for my life#BUT NOT AS MUCH AS RAINE OH MY GOD HE'S GONE THROUGH THE MOST ITERATIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE#anywhoooo something something if you know the gist of the xenoverse games- these guys are a big team!#kallabash jericho and blizzard are heavy hitters#whilst keyta and lulu provide support and then there's raine who actually is a talented inventor bc#i think we can have more of that as a treat#i've been. thinking about these fuckers on and off for a few months now and the fucking#shenanigans these idiots have/would get into#heart emojis <33#they're gonna be on artfight and. now excuse me while i fight with lesbians and the tumblr sexyman (apparently)#dbxv2 ocs#dbxv2 oc#xenoverse 2 oc#xenoverse 2 ocs#namekian oc#majin oc#saiyan oc#icejin oc
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my hot take is that certain shows do need to understand that oppression isn't solely poor and rich but goes deeper.
"Our piece of media doesn't have bigoted views like homophobia, misogyny, etc."
ok but do you understand how delicately those work together in oppression? how it is connected?
I am not saying every piece of media needs this kind of deepness and I also want to be able to engage without having to see ugly shit. but I fear if you want your media to be about classism and oppression like Arcane does and try to say how well you did it, and how deep it is and yet you only do surface level shit??? yeah you failed.
my second hot take is that Arcane needed to add stuff like this, say what you want.
My last hot take is Arcane season 2 failed because they didn't understand how oppression and class actually works, did they ever hear of the word intersectionality or is that news for them? The fact that they never reached deeper than "rich and poor" is a red flag I do not care.
#ābut i dont want all my shows to be about bigotryā then watch something else#i also do NOT want everything I engage with to be like this woah crazy right?#but thats when I go look for media that is FOR THAT#not a show like arcane that WANTS to tell this story but doesnt dare to for some fucking reason#hot take#arcane#arcane season 1#arcane season 2#oppression#intersectionality#discussion#classism#homophobia#misogyny#idk if you dont want this stuff in your show about classism and oppression figure out something new? you have god for saken robots (bolbok)#i think figuring something out to actually show how classism works in society is not hard with all the shit you have in your show arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi#jinx#silco#arcane critical#media#also I do want to have certain media that actually GOES deep into this i fear the public is idiotic at times#āi dont want everything to be this deepā ugh#like stop saying this about EVERY piece of media you encounter I am SO serious especially if it IS about that#go watch spongebob or something idk
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(alan wake-gravity falls crossover) man i love that character. you know, the deeply paranoid author who made a pact with a dark entity that ultimately ended with him stranded in another dimension separated from his loved ones for years at a time? takes place in the pacific northwest? has twin imagery associated with him and a reoccurring specific piece of symbology related to the unfortunate situation they're in? doesn't ever explain the reasoning behind his actions and instead just kinda goes "bro trust me"? yeah he also wears an outer layer of clothing with elbow pads on it, that one.
#my art#stanford pines#alan wake (the man)#ford pines#gravity falls#alan wake#remedyverse#SAtT au#i am. normal about the crossovers i make up.#what do you mean the esoteric weird horror game about stories and the disney cartoon about family dont have a shared audience. sounds fake.#anyways the comic on the right is in honor of a joke i had to scrap in my fic wip due to a perspective switch.#rip that joke i thought you were pretty funny. i like the idea of alan critiquing his own manuscript pages upon the events happening.#oh i should probably do a warning since theres that crunchy image of the aw2 alan death screen huh. uh#blood#aw2 alan death screen my beloved. literally made me go ''oh god'' out loud in shock and horror when i first saw it#anyways did you know theres an au to this objectively already an au crossover. i call it ''bill cipher gets sent to the shadow realm''#bill doesn't show up a lot in this au he gets one scene where he taunts ford abt alan being a danger#with the implication that the dark place/presence genuinely freaks him out. but in this self indulgence of a self indulgence#alan essentially manages to trick bill into swapping places with him and bill ends up trapped in the writers room/the dark place.#lmao get yƶtƶn yƶ'd idiot. YOU are aleksi kesƤ now.#also i like the idea of zane and bill meeting as well as door and bill meeting. i think they might scare bill a little bit.#just like how zane scares me <3 what a cool character what the fuck is his deal#also you may be wondering why alans in his aw2 look and not aw or awan look despite the fact that lines up closer#to when gravity falls happens-ish. well the answer to that is 1: the crossover uses a lot of the elements from aw2#and 2: i like alans long hair and suit and beard. i like the pathetic sopping look when his hair is in his face
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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With your lovely reviews on FFN and AO3 motivating me, I have been doing marginally better and have been able to write. So here is the next edited chapter for ISOH (AO3). Full story on FFN Fingers crossed, the next chapter of WFD should be out soon as well.
#romione#in search of hermione#multichap#when fate decides#my readers are the sweetest#sharing Romione love through angsty stories#to each one of you who is posting reviews on these to keep me motivated - all my love#you guys have no clue how much it makes me go on knowing that these stories are loved#Coz I love to write but there are days i am at work for over 14hrs and i work weekends#i have tried writing more regularly but getting the energy after an insane 6 day work-week is not always possible#then i get those msgs - see you loving our two favourite idiots#see you all so invested in these stories and i know i need to give back the love. And it gives me more happiness than i can express
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Watch Nimona, guys.
Watch Nimona and then go buy the comic and also read Nimona, cause as nicely streamlined as the movie is they did change the style quite drastically (proportions and stuff, Iām not on abt the 3D-ness or the adjustments to make characters visually fit their cast better) and Nateās original art is GOOD, and they left out some things I really liked in the comic (where was big buff guy nimona you monsters ToT) and comic has slower pacing that lets you have some more time w the characters, yada yada
NIMONA GOOD, CONSUME NIMONA IN ALL ITS MEDIA FORMATS
#nimona#nd stevenson#I have been a nimona stan since long before either nd or me had our respective top surgeries#I own that shit in book format I need you to understand how FEW THINGS I own in physical formats#don't get me wrong: movie incredible very good#as good a movie adaptation as one could've made for it in terms of writing (and animation/visuals good too)#but alas#I am a comic person I must also preach abt the comic#I do also appreciate that 'letting the transmasc comic idiots have big movie budget for their stories' now has precedent#as that will come in very handy for my own career
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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I know that it is silly nonsense, but part of me seems to not have given up all hope yet regarding a repeat of the 2020 US Election Miracle, complete with random ships that no-one in their right mind would expect to go canon to actually go canon. Except that things really seem quite desperate, regarding the levels of apathy I keep seeing here. So, like, maybe Destiel is not strong enough to save us from this one.
No, we need something even more powerful. We need Stucky.
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUNNY THAT WOULD BE?!
Save us, Captain America.
#I think we are all hoping for some kind of a miracle#because A LOT of the US-Americans I am seeing on here are really fucking stupid#those idiots will repeat 2016 if they're left to their own devices#So yeah maybe Steve Rogers will save us by finally breaking Reality for good#'Trump lost the election and also Captain America is bi'#like it won't happen#but CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT WOULD BE IF IT DID?!#(Full disclosure: I can see Trump losing the election as a possibility if people get their heads out of their asses#I do NOT see Disney relinquishing their iron grip around the fictional character of OG Captain America enough to make him queer as possible#that company literally butchered his entire decade-long story arc just to hammer home the point that he was straight. So.)#political#us politics#us elections#marvel#captain america#stucky
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The last 20 seconds of this trailer have me in the strongest chokehold
#Nameless Faces#honkai star rail#honkai: star rail#honkai#Amphoreus#chat I am filled with fear (in the best possible way)#I'm apprehensively excited because I know now that Amphoreus's story truly WILL be it's own#but also they won't stop drawing parallels 'cause that's just how they are#so I'm trying. DESPERATELY ATTEMPTING to emotionally prepare myself for this year-long journey#actually fuck them because Elysian Realm was also a year-long thing#the Honkai in Honkai: Star Rail#holy shit dawg#the Trailblazer's Mem pet thingy has to be connected to Cyrene . right?#c'mon chat don't kid me#I'm also so worried for March I hope she finds what she's looking for this arc#and I hope they never shut up about the connection that's about to exist between Cyrene and March 7th#every single time they call them 'Flame-Chasers' a part of me died#these idiots are really important to me. I'm still not truly sure why but they are. please take good care of them#I've realized their Star Rail counterparts are not true counterparts. I'm... just not sure if THEY'VE realized that#I hope the parallels are treated with care because otherwise it's going to feel weird (in a bad way)#also . Madam Herta please just one chance (I need to pick your mind. WHAT DO YOU KNOW)#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost star rail edition#do NOT get me fucking started on the Lilas Ikuta feature. we're moving up in the world
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the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.
And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)
#fans don't look#anti netflixvania#something something the fiction doesn't fall from the peak#increibl how that scene is the only reference to lenore's betrayal in s4 and it's written like cute flirting. human psychology whomst#also lmao i didn't mean to take a screenshot of lenore's face on that frame#she looks affronted that hector is even remotely calling her out for raping him - the *nerve* of him am i right?#yeah i sure find her lovable and sympathetic :) i fully understand why the shippers believe she cares so much about him :)#she matches sonic's condescending mug and 'well achskually' face as he's painting his best friend like an idiot when he was the dumbass#i'm still so damn bitter that the story ignored sonic letting metal go out of ~vibes~ but beat a dead horse in the form of mr. tinker#guys. sonic nearly caused the end of the world because he decided metal had agency. not because he didn't kill an innocent man. fuck.#how dare you mock me like this - and this goes for both now#am's speech is not enough i need to kill#(btw i'm not joking about the flow. there's a version of the nfcv scene that completely cuts this exchange for reasons i don't understand)#(the dialogue flows much better because it focuses on the subject that is carmilla's insanity)#(so now that 'you were having fun' feels even more mocking because the dialogue was interrupted for the sake of random rape apologism)#(remind me why these products are so beloved?)
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!! DRUMINDOR SPOILERS IN TEXT AND TAGS !!
Listening to Drumnidor as a Hadrian girlie is not easy. My god they're assassinating his entire character and taking away his life purpose right in front of us! They're reducing him to a stupid comic relief character with no depth and no real influence on the people around him (to a greater degree than they ever did before) and they're taking away all his greatest achievements and attributing them to someone else to fit the plot! His main character status has been revoked and he's now apparently merely a supporting character in someone else's story. Please, everyone, a moment of silence for my blorbo šš Rest in peace mr. Blackwater. At least they let you pull some impressive-arse sword moves, you looked really cool... but I am so sorry they did not let you be a practising hoe in this one š„
#riyria#drumindor spoilers#sorry everyone i am about five and a half hours into the audiobook and i just reached a conversation between hadrian and arcadius#and i want to fucking jump out a window#why is mjs doing hadrian like this???? what's even his fucking point in the story if it's gonna be like this????#literally and what is hadrian? chopped liver etc etc!!!!!#someone who is also reading the book please talk to me or help me see how i am misinterpreting this#i just want hadrian to be taken seriously and be valued and i want him to actually achieve something that is not just helping royce on his#journey to becoming a better person but yeah i guess he can't even have that - the one thing they kind of let him have in the other books#i am literally becoming a worse person as i listen lol#And listening to Drumindor as a Hadrian/Royce shipper is even harder!#lol#I'm sorry everyone#I can't even make any jokes about this point you'll just have to read the book yourself and find out.#i want to adopt hadrian out of that story my god i swear there is someone who cares about you and values you#crossing my fingers that the remaining 14 hours of this book is different š¤Ŗš¤”#(at least gwen is nice to hadrian and i love that we get to see them bond/see more of their friendship#it's so jarring though bc she actually treats him as an adult#and not as an idiot)#like am i losing my mind???#was it always like this????#was it different because there were other characters around to interact with???#i want to cry because i am so frustrated lol#as i reread my tags i must say it could also be that i am projecting my struggles onto him LOL#because my life is really bad rn in a suspiciously similar manner ...#either i'm a hadrian fan bc he's just like me fr or oh god i'm literally just misinterpreting everything and its not that deep#but i want him to also get the opportunity to be that deep :( ok enough tags now sorry everyone so sorry everyone#fellow hadrian fans what do we think#enter the hivemind (the replies to this post or my inbox/messages) and let me know#and royce fans what do you think about royce in this book?
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#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog#just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone#because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary#but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares#and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive#and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever#and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course!#but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? š#and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend#and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis#until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing#they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :)#which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was#like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation#especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it#but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it#and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me#i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol#so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again š¤”#i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol#but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for itš¤#this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding#anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas?#additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care#(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)
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twenty four hours reader and eddie are so 1989 coded
#it's not funny#i had a break thru with how the rest of the story will go#i'm excited again#i am falling in love with these idiots again#a win for both hailey nation and... 24 nation?#y'all essentially
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Well Critters, not long now.
If you hear a loud thumping noise in the distance that's probably my heart going into overdrive. Campaign 3 is my first campaign ending in real time so naturally I am going more insane than usual, even for someone like me who started in the episode 50s it's been a long road and I reiterate I'm not ready for it to end, but end it shall whether I want it to or not.
But fuck am I terrified, the unknown has rarely ever been a comfort, but I'm hopeful and bittersweet too, just a long series of emotions really. For all that will happen though, I'll miss seeing Bell's Hells on the regular, I hope that this 8.5 hour mega-session brings out the best of the campaign and its players, and I hope Bell's Hells get the ending they deserve.
#critical role#c3 finale#campaign 3#bells hells#cr3#I can't believe I have to sleep get dressed and go to work while this is all happening - goddamn time zones#if I do make a comment on the finale I will make sure to put it under a 'keep reading' cut#but I am hoping after resolving the god stuff we get some Nein Hells-esque rp fun and chaos - that's when BH have been their best#and if there's any form of theme or resolution for c3 it should be this#that this isn't the story of how BH became heroes or legends or champions: this is the story of how they fought to decide their own story#for all the unfair pressure and hoop jumping and shit they put on hold for others; now they get to live their lives#and I most definitely hope that we'll see them again#so this is definitely not goodbye okay - these idiots aren't through with us yet and we're not through with them! We're all gonna be okay#I'm sure you all will *dearly* miss my regular rambles in the tags - but who knows I might have other things to ramble about
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