#how about we pause the war and have a nice and friendly tea party? With some nice and calming herbal teas 🍵

[vyunok-obyknovenniy]

Odysseus:

Here's my daily routine as one of the Achaean generals:

I wake up, I ignore Agamemnon.

I join the battlefield for 5 hours. I ignore Agamemnon.

I train with my soldiers, using the training as an excuse to ignore Agamemnon.

I finish training and eat dinner/breakfast, while continuing to ignore Agamemnon.

When the stars align and I do decide to talk to the people that dragged me here, the conversation tends to go something like:

- Hey, we need a new plan to defeat the Trojans. Let's come up with an idea to infiltrate their city!

- k

(The original sound)

[sweetteaanddragons]

How to Make Friends and Influence Hobbits (Part 3)

It’s my birthday! To celebrate, I’m posting another segment from the story I published a few months ago, in which Feanor uses a tea cozy of doom and ends up in the Shire.

. . .

“So,” Belladonna said cheerfully as she finished pouring the tea. “Where do we start?”

Her collection of maps was spread over the kitchen table, with particular emphasis to those that showed the coast, as that was their best guess for where Feanor’s son was.

“I do not know,” Feanor confessed. He didn’t sound like he said those words often. “I’ve never even laid eyes on this coast.”

“I am not even truly convinced that he walks these shores,” Gandalf said doubtfully. “To speak truth, until you arrived and said otherwise, I assumed that he had long ago gone to Mandos’s Halls.”

“No,” Feanor said grimly. “He was spared that, at least.”

Gandalf’s eyebrows came together rather alarmingly in a manner that normally preceded a rebuke, which Belladonna rather doubted their other guest would take kindly. She intervened hastily. “Bungo? What do you think?”

“Oh, dear,” he said helplessly. “Well, I’m rather out of my depth here, you know, but this is rather a search party, as you said, and I can’t help thinking that when your young cousin went missing, we ended up finding her when her friend - Daisy, was it? - when her friend mentioned how much she’d wanted to climb that old tree down by the bridge, and sure enough, there she was at the very top. I don’t suppose there’s anyone else we could ask?”

“There are few indeed who look kindly on my house now. I doubt he has any he feels he may confide in on these shores,” Feanor said heavily.

“There may yet be one,” Gandalf said slowly. “I know Elrond searched for him for many years. He might, at the very least, have some information on where we need not bother to look.”

“Elrond?” Feanor looked startled.

“I suppose he was rather after your time. Idril’s grandson might be a more useful description - “

“I know perfectly well who he is, thank you,” Feanor interrupted. “Mandos liked to keep me updated on the damage brought about by my Oath. Fingon spoke better of the incident, but I was unsure how much of that was his rather singular optimism.”

Gandalf’s mouth twitched. “In this case, at least, I believe it was not misplaced. Elrond is also rather singular, in his case for his attachment to your eldest sons. I suspect he will be willing to help us, or at least to make the attempt.”

“It’s settled then,” Belladonna said brightly. “Elrond’s it is! Every quest ought to begin at Rivendell, I think, it’s such a nice destination, so that’s all right and proper. And you’ll finally get to meet him, Bungo!”

Bungo nodded firmly. “I’d best get started on the provisions, then. We won’t want to get hungry on our way.”

Gandalf shook his head fondly. “Hobbits.”

His eyes sharpened slightly when Feanor volunteered to help pack said provisions, though Belladonna couldn’t imagine why. Feanor had never been anything but a courteous houseguest, and she didn’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to help pack the provisions, anyway. It was the best way to get a say in what got packed.

It was a good thing Feanor volunteered too, or else she might have forgotten to return his tea cozy, and it was such a lovely thing that it would have been a terrible shame.

. . .

The Last Homely House was always open to any friendly visitors, but Elrond had to admit that he hadn’t been anticipating these.

He’d led them in to a private room near the center of the house where they were unlikely to be disturbed and where his guests could recover from their travels in comfort. It seemed the best thing to do, given that he could only guess what catastrophic events could have led to this unexpected party forming.

He hadn’t been precisely expecting Mithrandir, but given the Grey Pilgrim’s wandering ways, he never precisely expected him, which he meant he always expected him in a more general way. The two hobbits, while certainly not anticipated, were not outside the realm of possibility; he had met Mistress Belladonna before, and while she had expressed her intention to leave her adventuring ways behind when she last left Rivendell, she would not be the first to leave that intention behind. Master Bungo’s addition to her adventures was sensible when viewed in a certain light, and Elrond was delighted to meet him.

It was the inclusion of Feanor in the party that made Elrond wonder if Dagor Dagorath was upon them rather earlier than expected.

The light of the Trees blazed from the ancient elf’s eyes more strongly than Elrond had ever seen. Power and heat radiated off him, and while he had so far been nothing but courteous, there was a tension between him and Mithrandir that suggested his time amongst the dead had not softened him toward the Valar and their servants. If the Valar had released him anyway . . .

Elrond exercised patience with more difficulty than he’d had for years as he let his guests get settled into their chairs and partake of refreshments before finally turning to Gandalf and asking, “Is the end of days upon us then?”

Bungo choked on his cake and had to be vigorously pounded on his back by Belladonna. “End of days? I thought we were a search party!”

“Has my presence becomes such an ill omen as all that?” Feanor asked with dark humor sparking in his eyes.

Mithrandir sighed. “It has been suggested by some that you would be released to fight in the final battle.”

“Really? Well, I wish someone had told me about it. I could have been preparing . . . Regardless, I have not been released, so you need not fear that battle just yet.”

“I found him in the woods,” Belladonna piped up, with one last concerned look at Bungo. “And then I took him home, of course, because he was dreadfully lost, and luckily Bungo didn’t mind, so he stayed with us for a bit until Gandalf showed up and said he’d escaped from somewhere, though I still don’t quite understand all of that bit.”

Feanor had escaped from the Halls of Mandos. Of course he had. 

“The Valar had nothing to do with it,” Mithrandir confirmed, his voice growing dry. “The exact sequence of events is as of yet unknown to me, but I do know that the Valar are for once as confounded as the rest of us.”

“I weep for them,” Feanor said with even greater dryness. “Though if they paid even a modicum of attention to what their prisoners were getting up to, they would know perfectly well what I was up to - and I wouldn’t have had to be getting up to it, as they would not have left my sons to go slowly mad in solitary confinement.”

Maedhros. He had not been well even when Elrond had last seen him. If things were truly so bad - 

Mithrandir sighed. “The ways of the Valar are not always easily understood - “

Feanor’s eyes gained extra heat. Elrond began to grow concerned at just how far this would escalate.

Belladonna coughed a little pointedly. Elrond stepped gratefully into the momentary chagrined pause. “And how may I help?” He turned to Feanor. “If you need a place to stay as you become accustomed to the world as it is now, you are of course welcome here. Imladris is open to all.” It would cause some difficulty, no doubt, but Elrond had never turned someone who had no ill intent away before, and he didn’t mean to start now.

Feanor actually looked a little rueful.. “I would ask your forgiveness for earlier. I did not come here to start an argument  but to ask a favor, though a different one than you have offered, and I fear I’ve made a terrible start to it.”

“A favor?” Several possibilities warred in his mind.

“I was given to understand that you once searched for the whereabouts for my son. If you can give me any information as to his whereabouts, I would be more grateful than I can express.”

Maglor. Centuries of panic at being asked on that topic froze his mind temporarily before sense returned. He had known this was a possibility, and while Mithrandir’s presence made him reluctant to speak of it, if even Feanor considered it safe to do so, surely it was. Still - “It has been many years since I searched these shores for him,” he said carefully. “Events eventually forced me to cease. Still, if there is any aid I can give, I shall do my best. Your interest in this is, of course, entirely understandable, but may I ask how your companions became involved in this search?”

“He was our guest,” Belladonna said cheerily. “Of course we had to help.”

“Only right,” Bungo agreed with a nod.

Mithrandir sighed. “And I came along to make sure this quest ended rather more peacefully than the last one.”

“Ah.” Elrond’s mind raced. There was only one thing to do, of course, but after so long, it went against all his instincts. And how would Mithrandir react . . . ?

Hurried footsteps echoed down the hallway outside the door, and Elrond tensed. It was either someone with more strange news, which he was not at all sure he could cope with today, or it was - 

“Ada?”

The beautiful voice, high with incredulity, came from the arch of the door. The choice had been taken out of his hands.

Maglor stood in the entryway, eyes locked on the blazing figure in the middle of their party, mingled terror and hope upon his face.

“I thought - I was sure I felt your mind, but how - “ the bard said, his voice for once failing him.

Feanor just shook his head, his own eyes suspiciously full.

“Many long years since you searched for him on these shores,” Mithrandir said witheringly. “Events forced you too cease.”

Elrond gave in with grace. “Many centuries,” he said serenely. “These days I generally search for him in the gardens or the Hall of Fire. And the event of finding him did rather force me to cease or else act rather pointlessly.”

Mirthrandir’s expression suggested Elrond would be hearing about this at length later, but Elrond was far more concerned with the other scene progressing at the moment.

“I’m here,” Feanor said hoarsely as he rose from his chair. “I’m here, Makalaure. I came back for you.”

“But you can’t have,” Maglor breathed. “You can’t - you can’t be real - “ He looked appealingly to Elrond.

“He’s here,” Elrond assured him. “This is real.”

Maglor’s next breath came out as a sob. “I’m sorry,” he said pleadingly. “So sorry, Ada. I failed you.”

“No,” Feanor said firmly, stepping forward, but Maglor seemed not to hear. He was scrambling at the pouch at his waist that until now he’d always kept closed.

“I couldn’t fulfill your Oath, but I could - I managed this much at least, Ada - “

The light that spilled from the pouch was blinding.

“He kept it?” the wizard said in stunned amazement.

Belladonna craned her neck. “What’s it?”

“It’s pretty whatever it is,” Bungo said politely, and Elrond nearly choked.

He had known Maglor had kept it, safely insulated so that it would not burn. Its burn was not so keen now as it once was, though Maglor and Elrond’s views rather differed on what that meant.

Maglor reached in now barehanded and offered it to his father, ignoring whatever pain that remained. Elrond was unable to restrain a cry. The pain might have lessened, but he knew it still remained. He could see it in how the gem trembled in Maglor’s hand.

Feanor took it, and Elrond could have cursed him, but all that ill will was abruptly tossed away.

Rather literally. Feanor took the gem, but then flung it to the ground without even looking at it, instead embracing his son. 

“You’re here,” he said. “I found you. That’s treasure enough.”

[marvelmadam08]

The Princess & The Nomad (3)

Sequel to The Captain and The Culprit! With your hypnosis gone and your identity fully known, you and Steve reunite and pick you right where your left off. But with The Avengers disbanded and a new danger looming in the future, what’ll keep everything from falling apart?

Summary: You arrive back to New York, but your welcoming party isn’t as friendly as you remember.

Warnings: Civil War spoilers (but honestly it’s been like 3 years, if you haven’t seen it yet... what are you doing?) Boom Boom Whoosh. Slight angst.

You land on the tower roof, a joyful smile on your face as you looked over the New York skyline again.

“I’m back.” You breathlessly laugh “Steve, I’m back!”

You run to the entrance, hopeful to see all your friends again, but when you step inside the dark room you see furniture covered with white sheets and dust.

“Guys?” You get no response “FRIDAY? Anyone?”

You close your eyes and feel for any other energy waves or signs of life in the building, and get nothing except the electric power from the building itself. It was completely abandoned.

“He’ll be here when you get back.”

“We all will.”

“Where the hell are you then?” You swallowed the hard lump in your throat and sit on the floor, pulling your knees to your chest.

A orange light pulled you from your thoughts as it circled around you. You drop down through the floor and land on a sofa in a library.

“State your name and purpose on this planet.” A tall dark haired man stood across from you, strange orange symbols around his wrists

You jump up and ready your stance, your own powers erupting from your fists. That’s when you notice the short, chubbier guy standing towards the back, the same symbols on the wrists too.

“Who the hell are you guys?”

“I believed I asked you first.”

“Look I’m not having the best of days right now. And the last thing I want to do is hurt a- wizard?”

“I’m… I’m not a wizard. I’m a sorcerer.” The tall guy sighed heavily

“A sorcerer and a doctor.” The guy in the back added

“You moonlight as a doctor?” You asked, dropping your stance a bit “But if you’re a sorcerer-”

“I don’t moonlight as a- I was a doctor. Still am technically, it’s a long story.”

“I bet I’ve got you beat.” You drop your stance completely and sit back on the couch, the sudden weight of everything crashing on you.

Leaving your family behind, not knowing where Thor was, or any of the Avengers for that fact. Having to go back into hiding after nearly a year after being promised you’d never have to again. Tears started to fall from your eyes. The sorcerer looked to the guy behind him, who just shrugged.

“Um… Are you alright Miss-?” The tall sorcerer asks you

“(Y/N), my name is (Y/N), daughter of Thor.” You sniffled “I’m from Asgard, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to find my friends.”

“I’m sure we can help you find your friends.” He held out a hand to you “I’m Strange.”

“Well yeah, you’re a wizard.” You shook his hand

“No, my name is Strange. Dr. Stephen Strange.”

You started to cry harder when you hear his name. “I’m sorry, my boyfriend’s name is Steven. And I was expecting to see him when I got back, but he’s gone too.” You dab at the tears running down your cheeks

“I see.” Strange sat in an arm chair across from you “Would you like some tea?”

“I’d love some, thank you.” You feel something in your hands, a full teacup appears smelling of honey and orange blossom “Why did you take me from the tower?”

“It’s my job to protect Earth from mystical evils that may threaten it. The last time we saw that light someone named Loki dropped in, and he’s not necessarily welcomed here.” Strange explained

“My uncle, he tried to kill me like twenty minutes ago. Posing as his own father.” You looked up from the teacup “Did he have an older gentleman with him?”

“Not sure, but when we tracked him down he wasn’t far from a nursing home.”

“Shady Acres on fifth.” The guy in the back spoke up “I’m Wong by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Wong.” You give a small wave “I need to find that nursing home, I have reason to believe that’s where he hid my grandfather, Odin. Hopefully he can stop Loki. If I return back with Odin, can you get him back to Asgard?”

“It would take some serious magic, but he could try.” Wong spoke

“Me? Now what a minute, are we looking for Odin or your friends?”

“Why not both?” You stand to your feet, the teacup disappears. “Kill two birds with one stone. I’ll get Odin and you find the rest of The Avengers.”

“The Avengers?” Strange turned to Wong concerned “You’re looking for The Avengers?”

“Yes, will you help me?”

“I’ll do my best.” He gives a small smile

“Thank you.” You look for a door “How do I get out of here?”

A whooshing noise fills your ears, and you Wong and Dr. Strange we’re standing in the foyer.

“Neat trick.” You take off for the door

“You can’t go out like that, you’ll draw attention to yourself.” Dr. Strange tells you

“Says the wizard in the cape. But I’ve got it covered.” A blue light shimmers across your body, changing your jumpsuit and cloak to jeans and a flannel t-shirt. “It was nice to meet you Mr. Strange, and Wong. I will return soon with my grandfather and then we can find my friends.”

“It’s Doctor.” He corrected rubbing his temple as you hurry out the door

Despite the circumstances on Asgard and the The Avengers being M.I.A., you enjoyed being back on Earth, in New York. The feeling of all the electricity in the air gave you an unspoken strength. You learned a lot about your powers on Asgard, how much power you truly held at your hands. Thor even suggested giving you your own version of Mjölnir, but another lead on an infinity stone got in the way before you could.

You turned your head to the sky, hoping Heimdall could get word to Thor about Loki’s hijinks and your safety. But until then you pushed forward on your own personal mission.

The nursing home was right where Wong said, a small makeshift garden in the front behind a gate. The inside was a bit more professional, with nurses dressed in scrubs and soft music played over the speakers.

“Hi welcome to Shady Acres, are you here to visit or volunteer?” The nurse behind the desk welcomed you

“Visiting my grandfather- well meeting him for the first time. It’s a funny story, well more tragic when you really get into the details.”

You rambled on about the Odin family drama. Starting from where you were “given up for adoption” all the way to the “scheming uncle who wanted the family business”. Knowing you couldn’t actually tell this person the truth and risk being put in an asylum.

“Long story short, I’m here to make amends. My grandfather, he has white hair, one eye-”

“Oh, you’re his granddaughter? That makes a bit more sense.” The nurse chuckled to himself before standing up “I’ll take you to him.”

You follow behind him, seeing other people visit with their relatives and nurses helping out with the other residents.

“Here we are, room 1108.”

“Thank you.” You give him a quick wave as he walked off back down the hall. “Here goes nothing.”

Odin was sitting by the window, a chessboard sitting on the table in front of him. The palms of your hands get a bit sweaty when you realize you were finally meeting him, the man who put your life in such a spiral.

“Odin?”

He turned to you, somewhat confused.

“My dear, did you just call me Odin?” He asked

“Yes.”

“From the mythology?” He laughed “I’m sure you have me confused for someone else.”

“No I don’t. You’re Odin, All Father, and the King of Asgard.” You sit across from him on the other side of the chessboard “You don’t remember?”

“My child, I don’t remember much in my old age, but I do think I would know if I once ruled the kingdom of Asgard. Would you like to play?”

“I don’t know how.”

“Pity- neither do I. Guess we’ll both just have to learn together.”

You stared at him, wondering if he was pretending not to know who he was and only doing so to keep you at bay.

“Do you know your name?” You ask him

“Oddly enough no I don’t. When I was brought here, the nurses explained that I suffered from severe memory lost.” He moved a piece on the board “Your move.”

“I know the feeling. Not knowing who you are, no one to go to for help.” You moved your identical piece to a new square, still unsure about what was going on in both the game and with Odin “You feel alone. Possibly scared?”

“Yes I- I suppose one does start to feel a bit- out of place.” He said after a long pause, you can see him trying to figure something out in his head, but his eye seems to gloss over, putting him back in delusional state “Your move.”

“You’re under Loki’s magic.” You gasped “Of course you are, how else could he keep you here for so long.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Grandfather listen to me, you have to focus. Your son, Loki, placed a spell on you and banished you here to Earth so he could rule Asgard.”

“Grandfather? No my dear, I don’t have any grandchildren.” He shook his head

You sigh heavily as your brain worked through the ways you could break the spell Loki set. The main one being something you didn’t want to risk but knew it could be for the best.

“Forgive me Grandfather, but I’m desperate.” You placed your hands of the side of his head and drew in the electric energy from around you, sending shock waves to his brain, knocking out every block Loki put in. Odin jumped back from you, taking in the room and his clothing before settling on you.

“All Father?” You tried again

“What have you done? What realm is this?” He asked you

“It worked, thank the Norns.” You take his hands in yours “Do you know who I am?”

“Yes I’m- I’m afraid I do.” He sighed and brushed a bit of hair from your face “You look just like your mother. And I assume you have found your father.”

“Yes, and might I add, he held no resentment towards me.” You tell him firmly “Although he might have a row with you All Father, and he won’t be the only one.”

“I did what I thought would be best for my son at the time. I see now, that I’ve only caused great misfortune.” You nod in silent agreement. “Why have you come here?”

“Asgard is in trouble, Loki sits on the throne pretending to be you. He’s tried to sentence both Heimdall and I to death when we found out who he truly was.”

Odin remains silent for a moment. “And what is it you expect me to do?”

“Take back the throne, lock Loki away.”

“I have done my share of ruling, and locking away my secrets.” He stood to his feet and held an arm out to you “Shall we walk for a bit.”

“My family is still on Asgard, they will be punished for my treason against that false Odin! Your most loyal keeper of the bifrost must now hide in the shadows like a common criminal, and you want to walk?”

“Yes, I much rather I focus on the good with the time I have left here.” He took your hand and pulled you alongside him while leaving the room

“What do you mean?”

“I’m dying my dear granddaughter.”

* * *

You and Odin walked arm in arm to a nearby park, sitting on a park bench watching the people as they walked by; out of habit you occasionally glance over your shoulder. Odin’s much more relaxed than you expected him to be, not as much as Loki’s version of him. But he’s doesn’t seem like the conquer of realms, or the type of person to harm others on purpose.

“I don’t understand, how are you dying? You’re a god. You’ve been around for thousands of years.” A too familiar sinking in your chest washes over you

“And my years are coming to an end. Being away from Asgard has weakened me.” He tells you calmly

“So return, build your strength back. You can’t just give up and allow Loki to win.”

“Win? It’s not a race my dear.”

“But Loki, he’s killed people. He’s the god of destruction and mischief, he left you to die here alone.”

“And you wish to bring me back to dictate against my dying wish?” Odin raised an eyebrow

“No- I mean- Asgard needs its rightful leader on the throne.”

Odin sighs deeply “You never got the chance to meet your grandmother, my wife, Frigga. I did not deserve her, not with all the mistakes I made. Yet she still stood by me…. I wish to stand by her again.”

Your heart starts to ache when you hear his words, and your hand once again goes to Steve’s tags around your neck. You learned of you grandmother’s sacrifice to protect Asgard and your father’s then girlfriend, Jane Foster. Loki, as Odin, would talk about her often, saying how nurturing her spirit was but how she was also not to be crossed.

“I wish I could’ve met her.” You rest your head on Odin’s shoulder “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I was being selfish when I broke the spell. It didn’t occur to me that you would grow tired of ruling.”

“No my dear, you were putting the safety of your kingdom before anything else. That shows promise of a Queen to me.” He pats your hand

“Asgard would never have me on the throne. I am illegitimate, barely a princess and surely not a Queen.”

“Are you not the daughter of Thor? Goddess of life and light?” Odin proclaimed, catching you off guard by his sudden declaration “When the time comes, my child, you will be seated on the throne. Your mother, Norns rest her soul, sought to name you as a way to remind you that you are of royal blood.”

“She named me?”

Gainor and Cadence were never able to tell you what your intended birth name was, because your mother refused to tell anyone as a way to keep the pain at bay. Even when you came across the journals she kept before her death, she never referred to you by name, only ‘my lonely child’ or ‘daughter’. And for obvious reasons, the false Odin couldn’t tell you because he never knew either. You fumed about it for months, being so close to having the puzzle completed only to come up short once more.

“Yes, she did. She confided in Frigga while I kept her in the palace. Once you were sent…” He paused “When I cast you out, Frigga, all blood boiled, told me. Do you wish to know it?”

Before you could speak, the same orange light appeared in front of you and Dr. Strange walks through, cape flowing behind him.

“(Y/N), I see you found your grandfather. Unless you just pick up random seniors in the park.”

“I thought the cape draws attention.” You mocked him

“It doesn’t let me leave without it.” He shrugs and turned to Odin “Odin, All Father, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“A sorcerer? I’m must say granddaughter, you have an interesting choice of company.” Odin studied Strange

“Did you find them?” You asked him with hopeful eyes

“Sorta, Stark is upstate at the Aveng- at the compound.”

“And Steve?”

Strange doesn’t respond and his regretful expression makes your stomach drop. Odin notices your sudden change and speaks up.

“Perhaps we should continue this conversation elsewhere.” He looked around at the people stopping to watch them

“I agree.” Strange gestures for you and Odin to follow him back through the orange doorway he created.

You were back in the library of the Sanctum, Wong sitting nearby, eating out of a pint of ice cream. While Odin began to look around at the books and artifacts in the room.

“What’s going on?” You ask Strange “Where’s Steve? Isn’t he upstate at the compound with the others?”

“Not exactly. How do I put this delicately?”

“He’s a fugitive.” Wong blurts out “He’s been on the run for the last few months, nearly a year.”

“Captain America, on the run? From what?”

“The law, he went rouge.” Dr. Strange tells you

“Impossible, he would never do that.”

“It’s everywhere (Y/N), on the news, the internet.” Strange hands you his phone, several articles about Steve being outside the law popped up, a few about his 'most recent sightings’ and one saying he was abducted by aliens. “I didn’t tell you earlier because I wanted to see if I could find him first. You can even ask Stark yourself if you’d like.”

“I just might.” You start to leave when you see Odin settling down into a plush armchair with a book in hand “Grandfather, what is it you wish to do? I could return you to the nursing home.”

“Am I an ill fitted jacket? You cannot return me anywhere. No, I shall be here when you return.” Odin waved you off, as he opened the book in his hand

“Uh..” you turn to Strange with a unsure shrug

“He can stay with us until you get back.” He nodded

“Thank you.”

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[bemorecronch]

The Hand that Flannels (Male Reader X Jared Kleinman)

For that one anon! Sorry it's not smutty, WARNING: light making out and some fluff, swearing and drinking. You placed the empty cup down on the mantle. Fuck this party. The music was terrible and you barely knew anyone; Brooke was the only girl you knew and she’d ditched you for her girlfriend Chloe, but she was also your ride home. You didn't want to stand in the corner and be miserable so you made the very conscious decision to get drunk as fuck. You were only three beers in and weren't feeling anything. Glancing around the room you planned your route to grab another drink, but were stopped in your tracks by a figure standing in front of you. It was Jared. Shit. He was such an asshole. That one kid who very openly laughed when someone got the answer wrong, or who thought his sarcastic comments were the most important part of a conversation. He leaned against the wall, “didn't think you came to things like this.” “Didn't think you got invited to things like this.” You shot back. You think you saw him flinch for half a second but he shrugged it off, “my parents rang the hosts parents so- not that I'm bragging.” He was smirking and you raised your eyebrows, “wow.” Sarcasm dripping from you. He leaned back, “so why you here?” He changed the subject quickly and you both started moving towards the beer, “my friend said she'd stick with me if I came.” “Where is she?” “No idea.” You see him smile a little, “yeah I've got no one to talk to either.” You cocked your head to the side and smirked, “you mean constantly correcting people and judging them doesn't overwhelm you with friends?” You're tone is a little lighter and playful and you see him relax, “shut up.” There's a second where you think you might be enjoying his company, “so your plan is what? Get drunk and try to like the people here?” He asked and you nodded, taking a drink and handing it to him before grabbing one for yourself, “pretty much. You?” “Find someone as miserable looking as me to hang out with until my mom picks me up.” You choke on your drink as your eyes light up, “your mom?” You repeat and see him duck his head, “look, I don't have a car what was I meant to do?” He spoke quick and a little aggressively and you out your hand up in surrender, “I was just messing with you… My friend can probably give you a ride home if it means you won't be beaten up quite so severely by literally anyone who sees you getting in your mothers car.” You try to make it sound casual and he looks up, “yeah. Ok. Thanks… I'll text my mom.” He brings out his phone and sends a message, looking back at you a little embarrassed. There's a moment when you look at him that you swear you can see him blush, but he downs his drink quickly after, so it's hard to tell. As what feels like the hundredth person pushes past you, you look around- “it's way too crowded, wanna go outside?” He nods, “god yeah. What about your friend?” You look quickly to seeing Brooke doing body shots off her girlfriend, “yeah I’m sure she’s good.” You both pushed past the now fully drunk teenagers to let the cool air hit you. It wasn't exactly cold, but in a t-shirt you could feel yourself shudder. He glanced at you and wordlessly took off his flannel shirt and out it around you, “smooth.” You mutter, nudging him. He rubs the back of his neck, “whatever. Don't bite the hand that flannels.” You smirk and pull it around you a little closer, grateful as a breeze hit you. “You're a lot nicer than you come across.” It was more a subconscious thought, and you're not entirely sure how it found itself outside your head, but once you said it he let out a loud, bizarre laugh. Like if a bouncy-ball had hiccups in an echoey hall. He grinned, “you too.” You must look a little offended because he looks panicked, “I just mean- you know, you're so quiet and you roll your eyes a lot.” You feel yourself biting backs smile, “well you say some obnoxious shit. Someone should be rolling their eyes.” He prods your arm lightly, “I can take that flannel back anytime.” You mimic him, “I'd like to see you try.” He's smiling, and he's got a fantastic smile. You can feel yourself staring and you quickly snap your vision away. Jared looked away too, “I don't say obnoxious shit.” He chuckled, and you leaned against the door frame, “yes. You do. You said 80’s movies were terrible.” “And I stand by it.” “Alright,” you turn to him and pull the flannel tight as another gust come through, “we have to have an 80’s movie night. Breakfast club, Lost Boys, Ferris Bueller, all of them.” He gulped hard and gave a small, shaky smile “are you asking me out on a date?” There's a heavy mocking sense to his words, but his eyes actually look a little hopeful. You feel your face flush, “get over yourself.” You laugh, now fully unable to make eye contact with him. Suddenly you feel an arm link into yourself, your heart jumps into your mouth when you think it's Jared, but you turn and see a wasted Brooke hanging off you, “babe I can't driiive.” She whines into your ear. Chloe's behind her, barely standing and supported only by holding Brooke's waist. You look at her and smile, “looks like we’re walking. You gonna be ok for a few blocks?” You ask and she nods sleepily. You turn back to Jared, “sorry- shit you cancelled your ride and everything.” He started sauntering beside you, “yeah you're a total inconvenience. I don't really have a choice except to walk with you.” You smirk, watching Chloe and Brooke walk a head giggling, “you're allowed to want to walk home with us.” You whisper, dramatically looking around for whatever spies Jared was convinced were following him, trying to catch him being nice. He shoves you with his shoulder and sighs, “yeah- I mean you did ask me out before.” You feel that familiar heat rising to your cheeks, “you're not terrible to be around. The word ‘tolerable’ comes to mind…” You watch him stuff his hands in his pockets and figure you may as well dip your toe in, linking your arm around his, you're not sure if he’s into guys or not but this is… Excusable right? This is just a friendly gesture, “…so I wouldn't mind spending some of my free time with you.” You grin and catch him staring at you before he snaps out of it, “wow. Was that Shakespeare?” He laughs You happily spend the rest of the walk like that. Comfortable jabs at each other intermingled with passive-aggressive compliments. You keep your arm around his for the walk, getting closer to one another so that in the silences you can actually rest your head on his shoulder. You wave Brooke and Chloe into Brooke’s parents house as you walk along together. You mention the movies he's definitely going to be forced into watching, and he's distraught that you haven't seen episodes 1 to 3 of Star Wars, so they too are added to an ever growing list. Once you reach your house you pause, “how're you getting home? You just sort of kept walking.” You ask. He shrugs, “I’ll text my mom again, she won't mind.” “How long will it take her to get here?” You're trying to sound casual, with the distinct feeling that you're failing. He looks at the clock on his phone, “10, 15 minutes?” He shrugged and you looked at your house. You're parents would be asleep. You shift your weight on you feet and glance at him, “you wanna like… Wait inside?” He looks up; eyes wide, “if that's ok?” You nod and lead him in and unlocking the door. He sat down on your sofa and you made your way to the kitchen. You glance in through the door frame, “Do you want tea?” “Are you gay?” You pause, “what?” “Nothing.” He stutters. You sit beside him and turn to look at his now beetroot face. You nod, “I’m attracted to guys… Is that a problem?” He shook his head, “no, it's good- I uh… I'm… That too.” he's stumbling and can't even look at you, you fight down a smile, “gay?” You ask and he nods. Every fibre of you tells you not to- but maybe those beers are effecting you more than you'd like. You watch yourself lean in and kiss him lightly on the lips, cupping the side of his face. He didn't move and your pretty sure his eyes are still open, but he lets out a small squeak. You pull away, feeling his gaze on you as you turn pink and hold your breath waiting for some sort of sign. You turn completely away and feel anxiety grow in the pit of your stomach, “Jesus I'm sor…” You start, but you can't finish. He's kissing you. His slightly chapped lips pressing against yours as the smell of way too strong cologne fills you up. You part your lips slightly and bite his bottom lip and tongues brush against the act other. You pull him slightly on top of you as he leans in between your knees. You run your hands through his hair as his hands fumble their way up to your shoulders and hold on. You fight back a smile realising quite suddenly he has no real idea what he's doing. You pull away and kiss the crook of his jaw, trying to be careful not to leave a mark. You hear him whisper your name and you bite a little harder, you never knew you could be actually turned on by a dork like Jared Kleinman. He traces a hand up the back of the thigh if your jeans and you kiss down his neck to his collar bone; sucking lightly until you heard his breath hitch. “Please…” He whimpers, “I can't get in my moms car with a boner.” He sounded desperate and you smirk, “I mean maybe don't talk- about your mom- when I'm kissing your neck.” You speak into his jaw and feel him nod, “right, sorry.” You smile, blushing as you slowly feel blood rushing from your head to your crotch. He kisses you again, ever so slightly more confident as he holds your hips and pushes back your hair, finding some sort of rhythm in himself that neither of you knew he had. You can feel your shirt riding up as he pushes his hand up your stomach to your chest. You're blushing heavily as you realise you’ve wanted this for longer than you thought. Actually, you want him to rip your clothes off you right now and pull your legs apart and just start- HONK You both freeze. He looks behind his shoulder, “was that?” HONK “Your mom’s car.” You answer, sitting up straight and pull your shirt down; trying to not look so disappointed. He stuffs his hands in his pockets trying to hide a still fairly obvious erection. He gets up slowly, sighing in pain as he stands and you get up to open the door, “see you at class?” You ask. He kisses you quickly, pecking you on the lips, “see you then.” You're embarrassed to admit you feel your heart flutter. You watch him climb into the back seat of the car and drive away. You smile to yourself as you close the door, fully aware that during that movie marathon you'd planned, neither of you would be watching any of them.