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#houstland
askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: Told Houston I like him. He said he’s unsure and needs to think about his feelings for me
Augusta: How long has he been thinking?
Portland: 3 years
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston: I need to get something off my chest.
Portland: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston: Fuck you
Portland: Is that an insult or a to-do list?
Houston: What?
Portland: What?
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
[upon learning that Houston finally returns Portland’s feelings]
Augusta: You and him?
Portland: Why not? He's a 9, I'm an 8.
Augusta: He's a 10, you're a 6.
Portland: You're a bitch, I'm a 7!
(Source: Ugly Betty)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston: I slept for 15 hours. What did I miss?
Portland: This dick.
Houston: Oh thank god. I thought I missed something big.
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Austin: Doesn’t your behavior contradict all the religious rules you’ve been espousing your whole life?
Houston: You’re right, it does. And it’s something that I’m struggling with these days.
Austin: Then why are you doing it?
Houston: Because I’m not perfect, Austin, and that man’s booty is.
(Source: The Big Bang Theory)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: You're crazy
Houston: What?
Portland: You were supposed to say "yeah, about you"
Portland: Why is real life never like the movies?
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: Ya know Houston, I’m kinda jealous of you.
Houston: What why?
Portland: You’re boyfriend’s so much better than mine. *Walks away*
Houston: Well thanks I gues- WAIT PORTLAND! YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND
(Source: Kookiedough Cosplays)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: I can't believe I left my brother with Mass for the whole day.
Houston: Augusta will be fine.
Portland: I'm not worried about my brother.
(Source: The Closer)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston, talking about Portland: He’s so hot but so crazy, which makes him even more hot!
(Source: 50% Off)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: Honey, it's really muggy today.
Houston: If I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn I'm leaving you.
Portland: *sips coffee from bowl*
(Source: Twitter)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: *hugs Houston from behind* I love you.
Portland: *whispers into Houston’s ear* But if you ever forget to feed the cats again I will destroy you.
(Source: Twitter)
0 notes
askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston: *sees someone do something stupid*
Houston: What an idiot.
Houston: *realizes it's Portland*
Houston: Wait, thats my idiot.
(Source: Twitter)
0 notes
askaphmaine · 7 years
Text
Season Three
This time, there’s 36 contenders. Also, last one for tonight.
The Bloodbath
Harrisburg runs away from the Cornucopia.
Northern California runs away from the Cornucopia.
Albany runs away from the Cornucopia.
Maryland grabs a jar of fishing bait while Massachusetts gets fishing gear.
Texas runs away from the Cornucopia.
Vermont runs away from the Cornucopia.
New Jersey and Augusta fight for a bag. Augusta gives up and retreats.
Houston runs away from the Cornucopia.
Boston, Jefferson City, and Maine work together to get as many supplies as possible.
Hartford grabs a shovel.
Providence runs away from the Cornucopia.
Annapolis scares Missouri away from the cornucopia.
Southern California runs away with a lighter and some rope.
Montpelier, New York, and NYC work together to get as many supplies as possible.
Rhode Island runs away from the Cornucopia.
Sacramento finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.
Juneau grabs a shovel.
Trenton grabs a backpack and retreats.
L.A. finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.
Delaware runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hawaii strangles Dover after engaging in a fist fight.
New Hampshire finds a canteen full of water.
Portland grabs a shovel.
Alaska grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.
Connecticut runs away from the Cornucopia.
Austin grabs a shovel.
Honolulu runs into the cornucopia and hides.
Concord runs away from the Cornucopia.
Dead: Dover
Day One
Trenton diverts Austin's attention and runs away.
Massachusetts questions his sanity.
Houston searches for firewood.
Albany fishes.
Harrisburg steals from L.A. while she isn't looking.
Jefferson City questions his sanity.
Boston tends to Annapolis's wounds.
Delaware receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Juneau receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.
Southern California chases Augusta.
Vermont tries to sleep through the entire day.
Alaska attacks New Hampshire, but he manages to escape.
Hartford sets an explosive off, killing Maryland, New Jersey, Montpelier and Hawaii.
Maine fishes.
NYC attacks Rhode Island, but he manages to escape.
Concord defeats Sacramento in a fight, but spares her life.
Portland severely injures Providence, but puts her out of her misery.
Honolulu explores the arena.
Missouri questions his sanity.
Connecticut thinks about home.
Northern California spears New York in the abdomen.
Texas hunts for other tributes.
Dead: Maryland, New Jersey, Montpelier, Hawaii, Providence, New York
Night One
Rhode Island receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
Texas lets Alaska into his shelter.
Austin cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.
Sacramento dies trying to escape the arena.
Northern California and Delaware track down and kill Jefferson City.
Juneau, Harrisburg, and L.A. discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Hartford, Annapolis, and NYC sleep in shifts.
Connecticut and Maine hold hands.
Concord lets New Hampshire into his shelter. (He’s your brother, dude. I would hope so.)
Massachusetts looks at the night sky.
Missouri receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Houston tries to treat his infection.
Boston is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.
Honolulu, Trenton, Augusta, and Vermont sleep in shifts.
Southern California receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
Albany and Portland run into each other and decide to truce for the night.
Dead: Austin, Sacramento, Jefferson City
Day Two
Trenton diverts Annapolis's attention and runs away.
Hartford camouflages himself in the bushes.
Alaska camouflages himself in the bushes.
Texas, Connecticut, and Maine get into a fight. Connecticut triumphantly kills them both.
Harrisburg sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.
Augusta defeats Boston in a fight, but spares her life.
Vermont tends to Concord's wounds.
Houston searches for a water source.
Delaware and Missouri hunt for other tributes.
Rhode Island attacks NYC, but he manages to escape.
Albany hunts for other tributes.
Southern California bashes Northern California's head against a rock several times.
Juneau defeats Portland in a fight, but spares his life.
Massachusetts constructs a shack.
Honolulu camouflages himself in the bushes.
New Hampshire tracks down and kills L.A..
Dead: Texas, Maine, Northern California, L.A.
Night Two
Vermont, Massachusetts, and Alaska sleep in shifts.
Delaware sees a fire, but stays hidden.
Honolulu is awoken by nightmares.
Portland climbs a tree to rest.
Concord tries to treat his infection.
Hartford, Boston, Augusta, and Juneau sleep in shifts.
Albany kills Southern California with her own weapon.
Annapolis tends to her wounds.
Harrisburg convinces Missouri to snuggle with him.
New Hampshire attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.
Connecticut tries to sing himself to sleep.
Trenton dies from thirst.
Rhode Island, Houston, and NYC cheerfully sing songs together.
Dead: Southern California, Trenton
Day Three
Connecticut discovers a cave.
Annapolis chases New Hampshire.
Portland injures himself.
NYC steals from Massachusetts while he isn't looking. (bOI)
Albany, Missouri, Hartford, and Juneau raid Houston's camp while he is hunting.
Honolulu discovers a cave.
Concord scares Vermont off.
Augusta cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.
Alaska steals from Boston while she isn't looking.
Delaware searches for a water source.
Rhode Island stalks Harrisburg.
Dead: Augusta
Night Three
Houston and Delaware huddle for warmth.
Boston attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.
New Hampshire is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.
Honolulu climbs a tree to rest.
Hartford tries to sing himself to sleep.
Rhode Island tries to treat his infection.
Missouri tries to sing himself to sleep.
Alaska goes to sleep.
Harrisburg destroys Albany's supplies while he is asleep.
Annapolis taints Massachusetts's food, killing him.
Vermont stays awake all night.
Juneau screams for help.
Portland tends to NYC's wounds.
Connecticut catches Concord off guard and kills him.
Dead: Mass, Concord
Day Four
Alaska overhears Missouri and Rhode Island talking in the distance.
Connecticut begs for Albany to kill him. He refuses, keeping Connecticut alive.
Delaware travels to higher ground.
Houston runs away from Harrisburg.
Annapolis is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
Honolulu explores the arena.
NYC runs away from Vermont.
Portland runs away from Juneau.
New Hampshire discovers a river.
Hartford and Boston split up to search for resources.
Night Four
Harrisburg, Portland, and Hartford discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Missouri cries himself to sleep.
Annapolis, Vermont, and Rhode Island get into a fight. Annapolis triumphantly kills them both.
Honolulu receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
NYC, Connecticut, Juneau, and New Hampshire tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.
Alaska climbs a tree to rest.
Albany cries himself to sleep.
Houston, Boston, and Delaware discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Dead: Vermont, Rhode Island
Day Five
Portland searches for a water source.
Delaware receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Hartford diverts Annapolis's attention and runs away.
Connecticut steals from Missouri while he isn't looking.
Harrisburg shoots an arrow at Houston, but misses and kills Juneau instead.
NYC bashes Alaska's head in with a mace.
Honolulu searches for firewood.
New Hampshire and Albany split up to search for resources.
Boston searches for firewood.
Dead: Juneau, Alaska
Night Five
Hartford, Portland, and Connecticut sleep in shifts.
New Hampshire forces Annapolis to kill Honolulu or NYC. She refuses to kill, so New Hampshire kills her instead.
Harrisburg passes out from exhaustion.
Delaware cooks his food before putting his fire out.
Missouri defeats Houston in a fight, but spares his life.
Albany and Boston huddle for warmth. (Albany, NYC isn’t dead yet-)
Dead: Annapolis
The Feast
The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.
Delaware decides not to go to The Feast.
Albany decides not to go to The Feast.
New Hampshire decides not to go to The Feast.
Missouri decides not to go to The Feast.
Honolulu decides not to go to The Feast.
Portland decides not to go to The Feast.
Hartford decides not to go to The Feast.
NYC decides not to go to The Feast.
Houston gathers as much food into a bag as he can before fleeing.
Connecticut decides not to go to The Feast.
Harrisburg decides not to go to The Feast.
Boston decides not to go to The Feast.
Day Six
Connecticut camouflages himself in the bushes.
Missouri, Houston, Delaware, New Hampshire, and Harrisburg hunt for other tributes.
Hartford stalks NYC.
Albany tries to sleep through the entire day.
Boston collects fruit from a tree.
Honolulu receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Portland receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. (wHY-)
Night Six
Delaware, Honolulu, and Boston discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
NYC quietly hums.
Albany tries to treat his infection.
Harrisburg, New Hampshire, and Connecticut get into a fight. Harrisburg triumphantly kills them both.
Missouri, Hartford, and Portland discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Houston receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Dead: New Hampshire, Connecticut,
Day Seven
Portland receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. (stOP-)
Delaware sets an explosive off, killing Honolulu.
Harrisburg thinks about home.
Albany practices his archery.
Missouri discovers a river.
Hartford, NYC, and Boston hunt for other tributes.
Houston receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. (HOUSTLAND DOES NOT NEED BOMBS OKAY)
Dead: Honolulu
Night Seven
Hartford receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
Portland and Albany tell stories about themselves to each other.
Missouri is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.
NYC screams for help.
Delaware poisons Houston's drink. He drinks it and dies.
Harrisburg and Boston hold hands.
Dead: Houston
Day Eight
Missouri tends to Hartford's wounds.
Boston collects fruit from a tree.
Delaware is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
NYC sprains his ankle while running away from Portland.
Harrisburg chases Albany.
Night Eight
Delaware, Albany, and Hartford cheerfully sing songs together.
NYC sets up camp for the night.
Portland begs for Boston to kill him. She refuses, keeping Portland alive.
Harrisburg repeatedly stabs Missouri to death with sais.
Dead: Missouri
Day Nine
NYC constructs a shack.
Hartford and Portland hunt for other tributes.
Boston and Delaware fight Harrisburg and Albany. Harrisburg and Albany survive.
Dead: Boston, Delaware
Night Nine
Harrisburg, Portland, Albany, and Hartford sleep in shifts.
NYC is awoken by nightmares.
Day Ten
NYC practices his archery.
Hartford poisons Albany's drink. He drinks it and dies.
Harrisburg explores the arena.
Portland explores the arena.
Dead: Albany
Night Ten
Portland sees a fire, but stays hidden.
NYC dies from thirst.
Hartford pushes Harrisburg off a cliff during a knife fight.
Dead: NYC, Harrisburg
Day Eleven
Hartford bashes Portland's head against a rock several times.
Dead: Portland
Winner: Hartford.
Portland. Boi. Stop giving me hope. Hartford had the most kills, with 7, then Harrisburg with 6.
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Portland: Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?
Houston: What’s a matter baby?
Portland: Nothing sweetie, what’s-a-matter with you?
(Source: Tumblr)
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askaphmaine · 7 years
Conversation
Houston: I think you're an idiot, but you're a very cute idiot.
Portland: Do you ever date cute idiots?
Houston: Almost exclusively.
(Source: How I Met Your Mother)
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