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Be Irresistible, Click Here Part 1 of a Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Orion Taraban, psychologist in the San Francisco Bay area. Orion's ... I I've I've worked with thousands of men in my private practice and in my consultations and men fall in love with strippers men fall in love with prostitutes men fall in love with women with personality disorders every single day why is that is it because these women love them so much is it because they're kind is it because they're supportive or virtuous no it's because they [ __ ] these men to the point where their brains start to melt okay and when a man has brain melting face skewing life-altering sex it's like a drug and it's like all that that guy can think about and that guy isn't going to just hit and quit a woman who does the freaky nasty [ __ ] for him because he knows he can't get that on any street corner I think the question all men want to know it's a very basic one is what do women want it's a very heavy one there's a lot to it right there is a lot to that that was the greatest mystery to Freud and the fathers of psychology the true and unsatisfying answer is women want what they want and the secondary to that is women want what other women want often women want what other women want more than they want what's best for themselves this has to do with the fact that both men and women are playing two different games simultaneously both sexes are playing their own intrasexual status games and they're also playing intersexual power games and it's very difficult for a man to win both of those games or a woman to win both of those games simultaneously for instance uh a man could potentially s powerfully for a woman and be at her beck and call and yes dear sweetheart and buy her flowers and roses and that might work in the short term to attract a woman into a relationship but that man isn't going to be elevated in status within his own intersexual hierarchy so other men aren't really going to look at that behavior um admiringly admiringly and that's going to be potentially a liability for that person by the same token a lot of modern women are in this trap where some of the behavior that might work to get them the kind of relationship they want from the men they want to have that relationship with is frowned upon by their fellow woman it's basically the equivalent of sing in men and the equivalent of sing in men for women is anything that has to do with let's say traditional reactionary feminine behavior that I am going to be submissive for a man that I am going to wait for him that's how it used to be where a woman what was that in the Odyssey where Penelope waited for 20 years for odys to come home and all of the suitors of Greece had taken over her house and she still refused to believe that odyusa that I'm going to serve a man or make his life easier or do any kind of domestic help all of these things would be seen as almost a betrayal of her gender at this point and so even though those behaviors might instrumentally help her get the kind of relationship she wants with the man she wants to have that relationship with it would come at the cost of let's say the respect of the women that she's competing against in her own intersexual status games so this is kind of how we get into our own ways these days Allan you have a YouTube channel called psych hacks which is uh I believe is going to be it's going to be the hottest YouTube channel in the world I think I I think it's just the most fascinating thing I've ever seen on YouTube uh one of your talks is on how uh how is the titled any woman can a woman can get any man she wants how to get any man you want yes and it's geared towards women there are three three steps to that right mm talk talk to me about about that sure first of all I'll go a little bit more what I say in those three videos because this is important there are two general approaches to dating and I call them hunting and fishing hunting is where you

can Target a very specific person for a potential relationship and you know pursue that one person fishing is more or less you cast a wide net and you develop optionality and and you choose the best option that also has already chosen you and I think it's actually in most women's best interests to hunt women can hunt in the dating Market much better than men can this is due to the fact that there is an enormous asymmetry between men and women's openness to a sexual relationship I'm going to take a little bit detour I'm going to get back to your question uh one of my all-time favorite psychological studies took place on a college campus a few decades ago and the researchers were trying to examine men and women's differential attitudes towards casual sex and what they did is they got a attractive young college man and an attractive young college woman and they basically memorized the same script and went up to members of the opposite sex on campus and the script was basically like hey I've seen you around school I think you're very attractive would you like to come to bed with me something like that um women are always saying I want an honest guy I want a guy to tell me what his true intentions are this is about as honest and true as a guy can get how many women do you think responded Yes to that Overture oh they they're all going to say no 100% 100% of the women approached that's a 0% success rate said they were not interested in fact many of them got offended and angry at the the supposition and what happened with the woman when the woman approached men 75% said yes only 75 well that's probably because the other 25% were looking for where the hidden camera was because this was such a strange and unusual circumstance they knew that something was up about this and so they probably their spidey sense was tingling and so they you know they holstered it and did the socially acceptable response that's my interpretation anyway so the fact of the matter is is that most women could just go up to a guy and offer to initiate a sexual relationship and she is overwhelmingly likely to get a positive response now women generally respond well Orion that's just sex I don't want to just have a sexual relationship with a guy I want to have an emotional relationship I want to have a committed relationship and I say okay that's that's fine but how else are you going to get the foot in the door it's like you have to understand women that sex is like the Trojan horse that gets you into the gates of the city that's what allows men to open up and let you in now if they let you in and then they just kick you out well that was a blown opportunity like you once you're in there are things that you can and should do to stay there but you can't do those things until he lets you in and the way to be let in to the gates of the city is to provide a sexual opportunity and most men are willing to have sex with most women whereas the converse is certainly not true that's why women can hunt and that's why women should hunt they should Target specific men they should do their research they should try to do as much stalking you know broadly defined on their target as possible they need to know who is this guy what is he like what is he not like what are his foibles what's his reputation like the more information that she has the more that she can bait her hook with for that particular man and of course the most succulent juicy bait is a sexual opportunity okay so once woman has decided that this is the man that she would like to Target for a relationship there's a few things that she has to do one is she needs to make it clear that she is open to a sexual relationship that she is not going to put up much resistance at all there's there's a kind of an art to this if a woman just kind of goes up to a guy and says uh I'm yours that's going to be kind of unusual and it's going to make the guy potentially standoffish um so women have to like put themselves in front of the

guy just like in olden days where they would kind of drop the handkerchief and bend over and the guy would be like H my lucky day you know it's we often think of men initiating but often women initiate the initiation you understand um and if a woman is just waiting for a guy to do that and she's not initiating the initiation I don't have a lot of sympathy because she has this she's sitting on this incredible gender specific success rate uh that has to do with initiation okay so a woman needs to make it clear that she is open to a sexual relationship with a guy because that's the Trojan Horse to get into the City and in general to keep a man it's important for a woman to not just offer a sexual opportunity but to be the nastiest [ __ ] version of herself possible and and there's a number of good reasons for why this is true first of all and and foremost men whether or not it's true but it's mostly true men gauge a woman's interest and attraction in him by what she is willing to do with him sexually it's been very well documented and I think all men understand this on like a gut level that women will do more things faster with in the bedroom with men that they like and they're attracted to than with men that they are not and so when a woman is the nastiest [ __ ] version of herself possible what she's functionally communicating with her behavior which is the only thing that really matters not with her words but with her actions that you are the most desirable man I've ever met and I am willing to break the rules for you that I strongly and rigidly enforc with all other men and that's going to play to a man's ego absolutely which is a trap for men but women should absolutely use that to their advantage whenever possible I mean All is fair in Love and War right uh that's going to make the man feel like he's a king of the bdis uh he's going to feel like and it's going to put him in his masculine all good things because when a man is put into his masculine and he feels that there is a beautiful woman who is sexually submissive to him it triggers his instinct to protect and to provide which how does that not redound to the woman's benefit you know what I'm saying it's actually a very easy Con on the part of the women I don't I don't know a guy they wouldn't fall for that it's it's very hard to do man so uh by being the nastiest [ __ ] version of of yourself possible women are communicating that I'm willing to to break the rules for you because I'm putting you above all other men which is going to make stimulate his ego and put him into that position now that's also going to keep him coming back you have to understand that one of my very first episodes years ago was everyone is unique and everyone is replaceable both of those things are true that's one of the paradoxes of being alive you are a unique individual No One Like You has ever existed before and will never exist again but once you're gone people will be making interviews like this and PE and and once I'm gone people will be sitting here answering questions like this and that's how the whole game continues forever and thank God for that or else everything would come crumbling down on some level so bad for the individual but good for society and the perpetuation of the game let's put it that way so if a woman simply provides a run-of-the-mill sexual opportunity that's very easy to replace and the fact of the matter is is that sex in today's Marketplace is extremely cheap it's cheap because sex must now preced commitment there's a whole other Spiel I can give you about why that's the case but let's table that for now because I still want to answer your question that's changed since our parents generation perhaps it's certain it's changed in the last 60 years and the main instigator of the change was birth control two minute sidebar the reason why commitment had to precede sex for so long is because the threat of pregnancy always loomed large and in that day it was extremely difficult

if not impossible for a woman to earn her own money and to survive in society without the pro protection or provision of a man or a governmental program that served as its surrogate and all of those things have changed the reason why commit commitment was required before sex was because the stakes of a woman becoming pregnant outside of marriage were extremely high and it was upheld socially because if that man couldn't be persuaded or coerced to commit then that single unwed mother and her children would have become society's problem so all of these things have changed women can and do earn their own money there are all kinds of governmental programs to subsidize single mothers men whether they commit to this Arrangement or not are legally required to give women child support uh for the children that they sire in some cases even for the children that they don't so the circumstances for requiring commitment prior to sex have shifted and one once a few women started to be okay with a sexual relationship prior to an exclusive commitment or marriage once a critical mass was reached then functionally all other women had to do the same in order to remain competitive within the sexual Marketplace because in today's day and age if a woman were if you were to go out in the first date with a woman she were to insist well I'm not going to have sex until I get married especially if she's not a virgin uh I mean she's going to price herself out of the sexual Marketplace that's going to be too expensive for any given man when there's a woman two swipes away who's going to be willing to go home with him for a drink or two so that's the situation that we live in For Better or For Worse so sex is kind of the standard we used to say why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free right well that presumes that milk wasn't being freely distributed in the pasture but now that milk is freely being distributed in the pasture you have to give milk not because milk will motivate anyone to make the sale but because not providing milk is going to be an a strange absence it's going to it's going to be more expensive for the buyer in a way that none of the competitors are requiring okay so this is the world that we live in For Better or For Worse so when women provide a sexual opportunity it's a good idea to not just be a run-of-the bill sexual opportunity because let me tell you I've I've worked with thousands of men in my private practice and in my consultations and men fall in love with strippers men fall in love with prostitutes men fall in love with women with personality disorders every single day why is that is it because these women love them so much is it because they're kind is it because they're supportive or virtuous no it's because they [ __ ] these men to the point where their brains start to melt okay and when a man has brain melting face ske life-altering sex it's like a drug and it's like all that that guy can think about and that guy isn't going to just hit and quit a woman who does the freaky nasty [ __ ] for him because he knows he can't get that on any Street Corner that's the second time I've laughed in 8,000 interviews the first time was last week so I mean does this make sense to you it makes perfect sense okay so the they used to say that the weight to a man's heartest through his stomach it's actually just a few inches lower and there's no reason why I mean all these are are like Behavior AV there's no reason why a non stripper SL prostitute SL borderline couldn't learn to do some of the things in the bedroom that these women tend to do and to get men obsessed with them okay so once you target a man and you provide the sexual opportunity and you're the nasti [ __ ] version of yourself then you have an in like you're within the city and you're you're not going to be kicked out anytime soon you're not going to be pumped and dumped if you an amazing over-the-top sexual experience okay it's very very important and you don't want to

do this with everybody because that just is a race to the bottom too because it becomes harder and harder to be the nastiest [ __ ] version of yourself if you're that with every single guy that's why you have to do your homework and you want to hunt and you want to Target specific men be selective it's important to be very select itive as a woman because men have all a very understandable but from a woman's perspective extremely frustrating double standard with respect to female Chastity Chastity is something that they would highly prize in a wife and don't want to see anything in a casual lover but the fact of the matter is that the pathway to become a wife for the vast majority of women is through the Casual lover route most women will see this happening they'll be with a guy casually for some months maybe even some years and then the guy will catch feelings usually guys it takes a little bit longer for them to catch feelings and then they'll start to ask questions how many guys you've been with you know what's your family like Patrice O'Neal had this great joke once where his girlfriend had been with him for seven years and he had been with her for four like it took 3 years for him to kind of like see that woman as his girlfriend you know and that's when the relationship begins to shift and that's when the guy starts to become a little bit more possessive potentially you know don't go out to the club or why are you dressed like that they're not going to act like that on the first date they're just looking to smash right so the fact of the matter is most men don't show up on first dates thinking oh please please Jesus alab Buddha make this the last date I ever have to go on I'm ready for the one I'm ready for my wife I want to settle down today they're looking they're thinking I hope she mostly looks like her pictures and she lets me Smash that's what most guys are thinking and so to get and and and a lot of women when they show up to their first date they're not thinking I sure hope this guy just buys me a couple drinks uses me sexually and never calls me again you know and yet that can happen right so it's like most women don't show up on a date thinking or expecting that they're going to go back to a guy's house and have sex and yet that happens every like all the time right why because that guy had a plan that guy had some game and that guy was moving the interaction in the direction of that kind of relationship the same thing happens for the committed relationships that women want they don't just happen they happen because a woman had a plan she had some game and she was guiding the relationship in the direction of that kind of encounter very few guys are going to give that uh voluntarily just like very few women are just handing out sex to guys just because they want it right wanting is free it costs nothing to want things my wanting sex from women has never persuaded any single woman to give it to me in my entire life why would a woman wanting commitment or marriage or exclusivity or Etc why should that motivate me in and of itself to give that to her like there has has to be some back and forth there has to be some strategy and there has to be some uh the value proposition has to make sense so to boil down the transaction that's hopefully taking place the woman is looking for a commitment and uh a better lifestyle MH and the man is looking for an attractive sexual partner most guys don't get beyond that that's right they're like I just I wanted to have sex that's why I called you up you looked hot and event hopefully they develop feelings often not always not always but yeah I mean what did Hannah Lector say we covet what we see every day so it's like you and there's the psychological term for that I think is the mere exposure effect which is the well-documented phenomenon that people just feel more positively towards people Brands ideas that they see every day that's part of why marketing works is that if I give you

two Brands and you've heard of this one and you haven't heard of this one you're going to feel more positively disposed towards this one just because you're familiar with it in fact a great deal of dating and the emotion attached to that is really just familiarity as opposed to let's say love but I digress okay so a woman's in she's now being the nasty [ __ ] version of herself so how can she convert that into the kind of relationship that she wants the key key it to stay there the key to deepen the intimacy of that relationship Beyond um pure sexual Dynamic is for the woman to become useful she has to be of use to the man in order to justify her introduction into increasingly intimate Circles of his lifestyle so let's go out in the limb and say that the men that the women are generally targeting for their relation ships are not just like Schmo who are sleeping on the couch in their parents' basement these are generally guys who are successful who are rich who are high status who have prestigious professions maybe they're famous like these women weren't there for this guy's struggles they weren't there for when he was upand coming they're targeting him now because of his fully extrapolated lifestyle style okay that's basically the biggest bait that men can use to attract women is Lifestyle the joke is basically that men want the Barbie doll that's it you know we we'll take the clothes off and just we want the doll don't tell me the name don't tell me the story we just want the doll and what women want is all the [ __ ] the kend doll comes with that's why there's Cowboy Ken and there's stock broker Ken and there's Malibu Stacy Ken and they'll throw the Ken away and they'll just play with the accessories in the Dreamhouse and that's why the gendered complaints always fall along the lines of the man is just using me the woman for sex and the woman is just using me the man for my resources and won't even [ __ ] me I have never ever in my life heard a woman complain to me I pay for the house I pay for the car I gave him the kids that he wanted and he still won't touch me I've never heard that not even once and I've never heard a man complain that he was just being used by a woman sexually I sometimes in my past I've wondered if I just wasn't attractive enough to be used sexually by a woman I mean I I think it might even be kind of a refreshing uh change of pace and that's an interesting failure intersexual understanding that men don't often see the problem of being sexually objectified because they think it's a compliment but I can see how it would be uncomfortable for women to be sexually objectified by men that they don't want to be sexually objectified by so once you're in you want to be useful this guy has been targeted by you because he's got a lot going on don't create problems for him because the more you rock the boat the more time energy and attention he has to take away from everything that's working which is why you're there is to enjoy the extrapolated lifestyle to focus on you so don't rock the boat don't make any unnecessary problems and then look around like open your eyes open your ears listen to the guy the guy will tell you all the time where he's struggling where he still needs assistance where his bottlenecks happen to be and then just start to help him just start to help him if if you see that something needs to be done and no one else is doing it congrad your [ __ ] lation you've just been elected you know and why would you do this because I know a lot of women out there are thinking ran this is a terrible idea I'm going to have to like what am I getting out of all this I have to do all this stuff for a man well what you're getting out of this is job security because the idea here is once you start to do things in an instrumental way that are necessary for the maintenance and the propagation of this man's lifestyle you become essentially indispensable to the whole Machinery it's would be very difficult or painful

to extricate you from all of the good stuff that that guy has that's where he's vulnerable where he needs help because if you show up that's an don't see that as like a chore see that as an opportunity oh I'll take care of that that's great um because it gives you one more like purchase into that life if you can take care of that it's going to be very very difficult to get rid of you and it also means that you're going to be around more and more and you're going to be privy to increasingly levels of intimacy in his lifestyle and that's basically how you achieve de facto commitment and exclusivity from a man and you're integrating yourself into his life and you're also the best sexual partner he's probably ever had that man is never going to [ __ ] leave you if you [ __ ] his brains out don't cause problems and help him men are not difficult like you can get any man that you want and keep him if you do those things he could be a millionaire he could be a billionaire he could be an athlete he could be a celebrity he could be a neurosurgeon you could be a rock star whatever floats your boat that's what you do but there's still one thing a woman can do to screw it up yes so women got in touch with me and they said Orion I tried all those things and it still didn't work and I believe them some women do do those things I mean there are certainly some women out there I mentioned some of them who know exactly what sexual buttons to push a man to turn him into jelly and they are great with let's say the love bombing and they show up and they overd deliver with what they're willing to do in the context of that relationship maybe they don't do it quite long enough to really be fully integrated into his lifestyle but they do those things a lot of women unfortunately can snatch defeat from the jaws of success by doing one thing and that one thing is disrespecting men this is what I call the unbreakable rule a woman can never ever ever allow herself to disrespect the man that she wants to be in a long-term committed relationship with and there's a number of reasons for that but one of the least appreciated ones is that if a woman allows herself to disrespect this man and he allows that as well then over time the dynamic of that relationship will shift to the point where that woman is functionally with a shell of a man that is no longer a person that she can respect or be attracted to and that's generally when she looks for the the door so disrespecting a man usually provokes conflict which rocks the boat which goes against the things that I was talking about earlier and it decreases a woman's own attraction for a man especially if he doesn't respond effectively um and what do they say in the Bible it's like a a a wise woman builds her house with her hands and tears it down my ellipses with her mouth it's like a lot of women will open their mouth and talk their way out of the relationship that they could have had with the men who actually wanted to have it with them and they do this because in the moment they might be frustrated or impatient so it's emotional regulation and self soothing uh women also disres ECT men in less obvious ways I mean obvious ways are verbal abuse criticism physical abuse um mocking especially in front of other people but a woman can also disrespect a man by demanding explanations by interrogating him these are forms of disrespect because they play inappropriately with power differentials the right to demand an explanation the right to ask questions always goes from the high to the low it never goes the other way around just think about the military if I were your commanding officer and I called you in and I told you about a mission you wouldn't have the right to ask me a bunch of questions before you decided whether you were going to accept the mission you know um you that would be insubordination and it wouldn't be tolerated so there is a way to get the kind of information that you want from a man without interrogating

without shaming without demanding you do not have to always agree with a man that would be impossible because Men We Men do all kinds of boneheaded things all [ __ ] time so women do not have to approve of a guy but they absolutely have to find ways to disapprove disagree without disrespecting and that's absolutely something that can be possible the general rule of thumb is if you wouldn't say that in that way to your boss if you were interested in keeping your job you shouldn't say that to a man so that was some great advice for the women what do men need to provide in order to find the woman they want it seems the ability to provide a better lifestyle is the number one thing a woman is looking for right oh generally yes so women treat men the way men treat jobs and this will help men not take the dating process as personally as they might otherwise think of it this way you might as a man have no problems at your current employment you might feel that you're perfectly happy there but if one day a recruiter called up and said hey Orion I got an offer for you would you be interested in coming over to this company will triple your salary we'll give you unlimited paid time off we'll give you a promotion and we'll make sure that you never have to work on any of the projects you don't want to work on ever again I'll take it you're at least going to consider that offer strongly and the vast majority of people are going to say you know what there's no problem here but I have to do this for my career and that's what a lot of guys hear especially when they're young when the women break things off because in the vast majority of cases that's what women do they say something like you know you were great I don't have any complaints about this I just have to do this for me this is something that I need to do for myself right now it's it's the same thing and everybody will understand at that company that this was the right move for your career no one is going to say oh after all all we've done for you it's like it's a [ __ ] job it's business and if that person were in the same position he or she would also have accepted the offer as well so we don't need to get on our high horse and pretend uh to a righteousness that we probably don't possess so the best way to attract a woman is to be a woman's best offer to be a woman's best option okay and this is no small small feet because when you're 18 and you're a man you have [ __ ] all like it's extremely difficult to be a young man in today's society and it is not appreciated at all in popular culture um it's very very difficult because at 18 women don't want you because you have nothing that women want you don't have any wealth you don't have any status you don't have any emotional maturity you're not ready to settle down and have kids you're useless you're just a big throbbing Hardon and you can't even use that to transact for anything of interest for the woman and you're kind of useless to men because you have no skills you have no experience you have no Mastery you're a liability on the [ __ ] team like I can help you you can't help me God forbid I have to fall cuz are you going to catch me absolutely not so it's like young men are double [ __ ] they're at the the lowest of the low of all of their status hierarchies that they have to compete in and they can be that way for 10 years because it can take about that long to develop an emotionally compelling lifestyle that might be the best option for a woman that that man is authentically attracted to okay so what do men have to do it's it's they have to do a lot and the first thing they have to do is they have to learn how to wait so this has to do with the let's call it the normalized sexual Marketplace values of men and women according to the research so women's normaliz sexual Marketplace value Peaks at 18 years old and drops precipitously from that day forward it never rises again men's normaliz sexual Marketplace value is lowest at 18 Gra

gradually Rises up until about 40 remains constant for about another 20 years and then slowly declines into old age it isn't until 30 years old that the average male sexual Marketplace value exceeds the average woman's sexual Marketplace value for the very first time this means that women's default action is to act like all things being equal they will never be in a moment where they can demand the relationship they want from the man they want to have it with then today because for the vast majority of women this is when they're going to have their highest valuation in the sexual Marketplace so their default is to act on the other hand most men will never be more disadvantaged in the sexual Market Place than they are today with each passing year they accumulate more experience more wealth more status more Prestige and these are the things that are instrumentally connected to women's attraction to men so the first thing that men need to learn how to do is to wait because it could be a while it could be a while before they can start to enjoy an advantage in the sexual Marketplace and most guys don't get there in the sense that they commit and foreclose before they experience that possibility it's not a coincidence that the average age at first marriage in this country is 29 remember I just said that 30 is the day when or the the year when the sexual Marketplace polarity switches for the very first time and it never ever returns so most marriages happen at the last moment that a woman enjoys a power differential over the man in the sexual Marketplace this is the smartest [ __ ] thing that she could possibly do because if she were to wait another year or two she might not have been able to get that same commitment even from that same man because she will have declined a little bit and he will have gone and he be like oh well wait a minute I'm starting to get some options here I'm I kind of feel attractive women are kind of showing themselves that they're interested in me maybe for the very first time you know what I'm saying but most men never get to a place where they are more attractive than most of the women that they're dealing with and so they think that it's almost like just a woman's right or an innate privilege to have that kind of Attraction it's it's not it it's just a consequence of being in a favorable moment in the sexual Marketplace men don't always get there they have to play their cards right but they might get there eventually later in life like a uh a division one athlete um or a profession athlete a little bit later in life uh a partner at a prestigious Law Firm a a politician these guys they understand that because they've played their cars right they have incredible optionality with women these days okay so men need to learn how to wait so what do they have to but they can't just sit there so that men have to do three things really to become attractive to women and these are things that I am extrapolating in the context of my metaphor for the sexual Marketplace which is a big dock like a a pier where all the ships Moore right is that women are looking for a captain and there are three things that men have to do to become a Captain they have to build a boat they have to learn to sail and they have to plot a course build a boat learn to sale plot of course and those three things can take 10 years at least to do and if it's going to take 10 years you might as well get started right so build a boat is a metaphor for your lifestyle it's going to take two things to build a boat resources because wood ain't free and it's going to take knowledge the the knowledge is a part that doesn't get a lot of airtime in today's society everyone's thinking about the money money is extremely important but if you don't have knowledge about how money Works you're not going to be able to keep the money if your fool ass actually looks out is able to get it you know if if you don't understand what women are and how they operate you're

not going to be able to keep one if you actually have the Good Fortune to attract one into your life do you understand so the knowledge that we're looking for is awareness for how reality actually works not how we want it to work not how we think it should work not how our society tells us it's supposed to look but how it actually works because if we can understand the principles and the laws by which reality operates we can flow with those currents and we won't be vulnerable when we're out on the Open Sea so we need resources and we need the knowledge and experience to be able to maintain all those good things that we built indefinitely because what's the point in taking a a castle if we can't keep it right um then we have to learn how to sail which is the development of some kind of Mastery or expertise the fact of the matter is that women want successful guys and successful men are not necessarily virtuous men they're not necessarily good men they're not necessarily the best men or Nice Guys the fact of the matter is that that successful men are men that other people want things from that's it successful men are successful to the extent that lots of people want things from them the more people want things from you the more successful you are as a man if nobody wants anything from you no one will give you the [ __ ] time of day if you're a guy that's just how is now this is the flip side of the male this is the male experience to the equivalent to the let's say the sexual objectification that women complain about and experience oh men just want to [ __ ] me it's like yeah kind of and if they didn't they wouldn't be talking to you the flips the equivalent of that is well these women just want things from me it's like yeah but if they didn't they wouldn't be talking to you dude so it's like pick your poison we both have have our struggles to deal with but ultimately we have to be useful to others and a successful man has developed a solution for a problem that many people have and those people will line up with dollars in their hand to hand it over to that guy for that solution okay so this could be anything from being a successful Community plumber to being a uh a a startup entrepreneur with the next app that's going to solve a a social crisis um it it could be anything but you need to be able to solve many people's problems and many people will need to want things from you in order to be successful that's learning how to sail and the third component is plotting a course this is really important is every man needs to have an overarching mission to his life um this is important because because when we're out in the open sea it's where there are no features of land it's very easy to get lost and how did The Navigators of old Traverse the wastes by looking at the stars because the Stars relative to the earth move in very fixed patterns we also will be blown off course by currents and weather and if we don't have a star to Sail by it's going to be very difficult to get ourselves back on course and we can't get oursel back on course if we of course we never had a course to begin with so the overarching mission to a man's life also prevents him from doing stupid things with respect to women like making women the center of his life the the fastest way to lose a woman is to make her the center of your life because women want a guy who's on his [ __ ] he wants they want a guy with ambition with drive with purpose they don't want to be that ambition drive or purpose they want to be next to the guy with those things and to enjoy the fruits of all of that ambition drive and purpose but if the woman becomes the ambition drive and purpose then functionally the whole operation begins to fall apart and this also helps a guy to resist the urge to appease in moments of crisis with a woman because it can very much happen in the course of a relationship where an unhappy woman might make certain unreasonable demands of a man either you you you work

too much you spend too much time at work so either you need to spend more time at home or I'm walking for instance well of course him working so much is part of the reason why she was attracted to him to begin with him working so much is what what got him the money and the houses and the reputation that made it likely that she chose him over all her other options she doesn't say when she goes out to dinner or on vacations or when she drives her car that it's too bad that the guy works so much and if this man in that moment were to cater to that woman's demand and he were to lose both his professional reputation and success and the relationship he would deserve it that would be his foyble and that's where men are mostly weak is they a lot of guys find it very difficult to stand up to a woman's negative emotionality whether it's their anger and their upsetness or their tears or their guilt tripping or their shaming all men it seems have an emotional THB screw there's like one emotion for whatever reason is particularly difficult for them to bear and if a woman sticks around you long enough she's going to figure out what that emotion is and if she twists the screw on that particular emotion and you bend and you appease and you change as a consequence of attempting to avoid that temporary pain and discomfort of coming into contact with that unpreferred emotion what you will do is create a monster in your relationship because you'd be training this woman unconsciously to know that whenever she really needed to get what she wanted all she had to do was hurt you in this way and she loses respect she loses respect and the guy feels even less appreciated as well because she be can she often doesn't even want the thing that she's demanding in that moment so it's it's just not a a bad it's a it's a very bad idea let's put it that way so that's what men have to do to attract a woman they have to build a ship which is to develop an extrapolated interesting emotionally compelling lifestyle they have to learn to sale which is they have to develop expertise and skills that are of use to other people and they have to plot a course they need to have an overarching mission to their life something that is more important to them than I guess anything else really it has to be more important than anything else if it's not then a woman will figure out what that other thing will be and that will be your downfall that will be your downfall so you've told us what women can do to get the man they want and you've told us what men could do to get the women they want but there's more to it isn't there of course the game oh yeah the game is infinite I can be a wealthy handsome man with a great future sitting at a bar on Saturday night and nothing's going to happen for me right correct especially if you're a man if you are a decently attractive woman and you were to sit by yourself at a bar on a Saturday night whether you wanted it or not you would soon have company but a man could be brilliant he could be rich he could be a neurosurgeon and he could drink by himself all night okay so men need game in the the sense of they need to put on they need some strategy in order to attract the opposite sex that's very different from the strategies that women do I'm not going to say that women don't have to do that they do all kinds of things to their appearance right because that's generally what's most important to men especially on first blush with respect to their attraction to women so they do all kinds of things with respect to their figure and their dress and their fashion and their makeup and things like that men For Better or For Worse we don't really have to worry about that as much so there are a few different strategies that consistently work to increase your attraction as a man to women let's see if I can remember them um cocky and playful is a is an old standby from the pickup Community um being like this is a tough one it's not the best one but being like

funny being the funny guy can work like there's um but it can also backfire because at some point you do have to kind of transition from being kind of like Goofy and playful to being sexual and sometimes that can feel like a bait and switch to a woman Patrice O'Neal used to say I wish I didn't have to laugh my way into [ __ ] but that was what he had to do apparently um there is also like low low activation game which is just sort of like confidence and not giving a woman much uh energy that works if you already have let's say some reputation buyin if you have a a table in the VIP bottle section of a club for instance you already have some social validation that you have the money to spend on that so you don't necessarily have to work as hard to attract attention to yourself because like you did that passively with respect to your structure and so you can actually kind of be a little bit more aloof and withdrawn which makes you potentially seem even more attractive in that moment right uh but the essence of game is to stimulate an emotional reaction in a woman that is the the easiest way to seduce a woman is to stimulate an emotional response in her um and it doesn't even really matter what the emotion is it doesn't even have to be a positive emotion I mean that's why negging works on some level um which is disrespecting it's a it's a teasing playful disrespecting yes it's sort of like treating a girl like your bratty little sister so it's not it should be anyway a real coldhearted harsh um disrespect it should be playful playful the idea here is is that I'm so confident in your presence that I can I can kind of toy with your beauty that I know will Dazzle and stun and petrify other men I it has no effect on me confidence goes a long way confidence is amazing so one of the things that a lot of guys don't understand so I I've had many a few different careers in my life so far I used to be an actor and when I was an actor as a young man it was easier for me to get laid than when I was a rich successful doctor it's changed a little bit now that I'm somewhat famous but until I started the YouTube channel and it blew up it was much much harder for me to get laid as a successful entrepreneur doctor than being a broke theater actor in New York City and this is baffling to guys but the fact of the matter is is that you do not need money to get laid you might need money if you want to get married but you definitely don't need money to get laid and a lot of guys and it's a a kind of a function of their male rational mindset they listen to talks online or they buy programs and they what do women want and they say Okay women want abs women want tall guys women want uh Rich guys and they think okay well some of those things I can do some of those things I can't do so but it's like okay I'll get the ABS check I'll get the money check and so now all I have to do is go up into in front of a woman and say in so many ways just let know hey I am a rich guy with abs and they're going they're supposed to just like line up to [ __ ] them and let me tell you that that's that's not how it works um so I call those things attraction proxies guys really want women to become attracted to them they hear that these things are what women in general want and so they say well I'll just get those things and then the attraction will be taken care of and that's not true I do all the time with guys who have super Yachts down in Miami who fly private jets and who cannot get [ __ ] laid because they have no experience picking women up they don't know how to talk to beautiful women in particular they don't have any problems with the ones they're not attracted to generally but obviously that's not the ones that they want the way to get laid is to learn how to seduce a woman that's it like you don't need ABS you don't need money what you need is seduction technique and the core of Seduction is the ability to stimulate an emotional response in somebody else and to guide

them through an emotional Journey that ultimately culminates in a sexual experience that you've more or less curated for that person there's a saying that goes a man wants a good girl who's only bad with him and a woman wants a bad boy who's only good to her that's great yeah I heard that one about a year ago it resonated with me it's true why do women love [ __ ] why do women love [ __ ] well there's a number of reasons for that and there are good reasons first of all um an [ __ ] is generally somebody who doesn't care about another person's feelings this isn't my term this is a term that a lot of guys use when they're when they're losing out I hear we can use that term [ __ ] I got no problem with asshol um but let's break it down like what [ __ ] do get laid a lot they certainly get laid over the nice guys so what are [ __ ] doing or or how are they being with women that is allowing them to have and enjoy greater success than the the the nice guys out there well like I said one of the first things about [ __ ] is they don't care how other people feel and what did I just say a few minutes ago is like the Achilles heal for most men is the negative expressed emotion of women I'm upset with you I'm angry with you they start to cry it's like on some level a nice guy will be too empathetic will say oh I'm uncomfortable with This Woman's distress I am going to change myself I'm going to change the situation I'm going to change the relationship I will change reality itself if I can to get this woman to stop crying or to get this woman to stop being angry with me without necessarily considering whether or not this woman has a [ __ ] point whether her tears are Justified whether her anger is Justified like for better for worse men and women can get angry inappropriately maybe she's doing it just to see how spineless you are it's possible I mean we call those [ __ ] tests right and a lot of what happens in testing is unconscious I I think that there are some conscious intentional tests that women will do towards men but I think personally and professionally the majority of testing occurs below the threshold of awareness for women so an [ __ ] isn't vulnerable to those displays because on some level he doesn't give a [ __ ] he says sweetheart if you want to be upset with me that's fine that's your you're right why why do I need you to be upset or to be not upset it's you're a full- grown adult like if you want to be angry if you want to be out of sorts if you want to be despondent and sulky hey no skin off my back I don't have to feel those feelings I felt them I know they're not pleasant that's why I prefer not to experience them but for whatever reason you want to feel that way knock yourself out sweetheart I'm not going to stand in the way of you and your feelings and let me tell you to the extent that those feelings were instrumentally attempting to change that man's behavior if a man responds that way that emotion will disappear very quickly because it doesn't work most things most people don't persist in strategies that don't work if someone persists in a strategy it's because it at least partly works the word dysfunction is mostly the word function dysfunction is mostly functional in that it gets what it wants that's why it exists so if you want to look at any dysfunctional Behavior you have to understand that at least for a very long time and at least partly it has succeeded in getting that person what he or she wants that's why it's persisted through time that's it and if you were to change the operant conditioning like the Rewards or punishments as a consequence of that behavior consistently there're out you would very quickly change that behavior that's the only thing that works so that's one reason why women like [ __ ] is because they don't bend in ways that nice guys do that ultimately lead to the disintegration of the relationship and the attraction that she felt for the guy to enter into the relationship to begin with um

and this also extends to other people out there it's it's sort of like why does why does the woman gravitate towards the biggest scariest guy in the room often because he's the safest one now you might think well he sure doesn't look safe with all of those tattoos and and the the the leather jackets and the kind of like growly stare well he might not be safe to you another guy but he's safe to her because she's thinking if I'm with that guy no other guy's gonna [ __ ] with him so I want to be with the guy that no other guy is GNA [ __ ] with and [ __ ] they fight back they don't just say oh oh sorry uh maybe I did something wrong there let's let's work to friends you know get along an [ __ ] will be like go [ __ ] yourself man why would you do that and they they they have don't have a problem being disagreeable and they don't have a problem fighting for what they believe in now some [ __ ] are narcissistic and what they believe in is just their own misguided self-interest but not all of them right so but in any case they are willing to fight for what they believe and what they want and that's what makes them more safe to women than guys who aren't willing to fight uh [ __ ] also often know that people don't like them and they've developed a kind of social callous around that which gives them a social Freedom when you talk to most guys the thing that paralyzes them socially whether it's with other guys at parties to make new friends or with women picking them up is they're afraid that they're going to look awkward or they're going to say something and people aren't going to like them but when you're an [ __ ] people already don't like you I mean what's the [ __ ] threat here you know what I'm saying so because I'm used to people not liking me because there are people today right now who don't like me and I can deal with it I have a social Freedom that you don't I can speak my truth because I know what happens when people disapprove or disagree with me and they hate me not much like they get all been out of sorts and life goes on [ __ ] often get into trouble because they all they also understand that um rules are this is going to sound shitty but rules are really just suggestions to maintain social cohesion at the mass level but every rule has an exception every rule was created by people and so so every rule can actually be undone by people as well an [ __ ] knows that uh it's not a virtue to Simply uh follow a rule because it's a rule like it has to make sense it has to uh support I guess his goals whether they're personal or the social goals and he doesn't mind necessarily transgressing those rules from time to time and getting into trouble because trouble is not really a real Concept in many respects um some of the the darkest moments that some of the people I look up to have been in were really were really ways for them to launch their careers and their missions to an even higher greater level like when when Dr King was arrested and thrown into the Birmingham Jail do you really think that he was in trouble I mean he has a mug shot he was arrested there he was in jail in handcuffs that's about as bad as it gets in today's society but it was an opportunity for him to write some letters and it was then a pivot point to D to draw even more attention to a social cause which generated even more momentum trouble like a a master can use anything to it to his benefit trouble is wasted on those are just the unmas like nothing can go to waste to a Master not not a crisis not a not a disaster not a disagreement anything can be used to serve once you understand reality once you have exper experience and expertise and once you know what your purpose and Mission is anything can be used to further that you have nothing to fear so I would say that in many respects that's why women like [ __ ] excellent fascinating talk let's take a little break and I'll we'll continue this and I'll post it in a week for people that want want to hear more of ay thank you all right thank you .

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shadowsshowdown · 9 months

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Deus Ex: Human Revolution Shadow’s Showdown 65

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The Unperson.

Detroit. Rupert's home.

Rupert was at Laura's side in a flash. His calmness seemed to balance at the verge of coldness; in reality being only professionalism.

"Look at me!" he commanded, holding her face in his hands.

Laura struggled to focus her gaze on the Scot's face, now stripped of emotion again, similar to Adam's face when she first met him at Sarif Industries. Fear clenched her throat so tightly that she couldn't catch her breath.

"Breathe along with me. Slowly. Inhale and exhale."

She listened to him, trusted and let herself be guided. Rupert was like a lifebelt, thrown to a drowning man, for her. Now he was slowly pulling her to shore. Her heart gradually slowed down and her breathing returned to normal. Even her jittery hands were calmer now.

The psychologist returned to his armchair, having made sure the danger had passed. He lit his pipe again as if nothing had ever happened.

"What does Damien know about?" he asked looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

The woman sighed. His empathy seems to have been eaten by a dog, she thought. Now she couldn't hide anything anymore. Besides, she had come here to talk, and by not being honest she was only hurting herself.

"About the fact that I wanted to kill myself. He'll think he's won again and has power over me."

Rupert furrowed his brow. He despised suicidal people, but his personal beliefs could not interfere with his professional ones. Remaining impartial and listening to what Laura has to say is part of his job. Being as tactful as possible was his key to success in building trust. Besides, she was starting to become more than just a patient. The psychologist realized how big mistake he was making but justified it by the fact that their meetings were unofficial sessions. She didn't even have her medical file.

"Will you tell me more, Evie?" he used her other name intentionally. "Your secrets will remain among the walls of this office," he assured with convincing sincerity.

The woman sighed, and fled with her eyes to the right toward a semicircular niche filled with bookshelves, where had probably been a fireplace in the past. Evie knew she could trust him. Though the feeling was strong, she still hesitated. Uncertainty concerned Damien and his willingness to take Rupert as a target. On the other hand, he could have done something a long time ago so what she says now doesn't matter anyway.

"Adam and Joe's deaths are solely my fault," she choked out. The words burned her throat and tongue as if she had eaten some of the hottest peppers in existence.

Rupert sighed, let the air out through his nose then reached into his pants pocket for a cotton handkerchief. He then took off his glasses and began wiping them. "Talk, talk, I'm listening all the time," he assured.

The man's behaviour threw her off balance. What was he trying to achieve with this? She thought.

"Why do you think that?" he asked, pointing the lenses of his glasses toward the light. "If I hadn't been in their lives, Damien would have had no reason to kill them." "How can you be sure he did it? Maybe he was just a pawn in the game, or your subconscious is connecting events in the wrong way?" "I was at the company when the attack started. Damien sent me a clear message. Besides, I made a serious mistake." The woman bit her lips and clenched the hem of her sweater in her hands. "While strengthening the company's cyber security, I used a code, a way… tricks?" she tried to explain. The Scot furrowed his brow. "I think I know what you mean." Evie nodded her head. Not for a moment did she look in the direction of the interlocutor. "Damien took advantage of this fact as if knowing I would do so, and paralyzed the monitoring. After that, everything was easy." "How did he know your methods?" The psychologist focused his attention on the woman. He decided to use the information he received in the best possible way. At times like this if someone is lying or wants to conceal certain things it is easy to make a mistake. The right words can lead to making one."He taught them to me himself. He thought Joe was too gentle when he tried to break security and use electronic components for his purposes. That's why Damien showed me more invasive and brutal methods, which very often involved killing innocents. I never used them myself, but among them were tricks to make it harder to break security or track someone down. I didn't even think about harming the company with these. I didn't think Adam would get killed because of me…" "You know, I can keep repeating to the point of boredom that it's not your fault but you have to see it yourself before it's too late. I noticed that Connor is close to you so you are not alone. Let yourself be helped instead of piling up silly ideas in your head about jumping off the roof. I have no idea at all how you survived that fall."

Laura explained everything to Rupert. She talked about Connor being an aug and that, all in all, her jump was just an unfortunate accident. The Scot only nodded, but she felt a strange distance and even hostility toward her. Never before had he been so distant and spoken in such a cold tone. He was firm, sometimes brutal in what he said, but it always had a therapeutic purpose. Now, however, something had changed in his approach as if he had lost all his professionalism.

"Tell me as honestly as you can," she decided to take advantage of his weakness and expose it. "Do you see me as an unperson now?" "I do," he admitted openly. "What you wanted to do is contrary to my views. However, I made a serious mistake and allowed my private opinions to stand out."

The woman fled with her eyes to the side. On the one hand, she had achieved her goal and learned Rupert was treating her differently from the rest of the patients, and on the other, it hurt that he despised her so much.

"It doesn't surprise me at all," she replied. "Let me remind you that we are not discussing private beliefs. You came here for a specific purpose, didn't you, Laura? Or should I call you Evie? I don't know who you really are, but that's irrelevant." "Currently I am Laura. Maybe one day I'll be Evie again. I don't know." "It depends only on you."

The Scot's cool tone gradually made Laura retreat and close in on herself again instead of opening up and talking about problems. Rupert sighed, he wanted to say something but Demelza had just knocked on the office door announcing it was time to eat dinner. For the psychologist, it was a temporary salvation, but he couldn't leave Laura like that. He was far too harsh on her.

When they entered the dining room, Connor greeted them with a broad smile while finishing setting the table. Soon after, Demelza brought a tureen of soup and everyone sat down to dinner. Laura, despite Dale's insistence, was unable to eat anything. She now felt like an unwanted intruder and would have been most happy to go home. Rupert was sitting across from her, although his seat should have been on the shorter side of the rectangular table. His presence made the situation even worse. However, she forced herself to eat at least a spoonful of soup out of politeness.

"Don't you like the broth?" asked the concerned hostess while wrinkling her brows. "It's delicious, I love broth. I just don't eat much now," she replied, trying to keep her gaze on Demelza.

For a moment Connor wanted to deny Laura was eating like a bird, but it occurred to him in time that clearly something had happened in the study, and the result of the event was now visible. The Scot could no longer stand the tension that had condensed over the table and hung in a thick, black cloud.

"Excuse us for a moment," he said, getting up from the table and at the same time placing next to his plate the, folded in half, white napkin he had earlier in his lap. "Allow with me, Laura," he said in a gentle tone, quite different from the one he had used earlier.

The woman nodded, stood up and, like him, put the napkin down. She felt that she was suffocating, and her legs were no longer obeying her. With difficulty, she left the dining room and followed Rupert to the study.

"Don't worry Connor. It's probably just a minor misunderstanding," Demelza tried to reassure, still wearing a polite smile on her face.

The man, who had reflexively pulled himself up from his seat in readiness to move after Laura, sat back in his chair.

The Scot paused at his desk. For the first time, he didn't know what he should say so he delayed turning to face her. "I shouldn't have come here. You probably have a lot of patients, and I'm taking up your time without even paying for it." The psychologist let the air out through his nose and leaned his clenched fists against the desktop. "Money doesn't mean much to me," he muttered, turning to face her and crossing his arms over his chest. "I made a huge mistake today. Not even one."

The woman looked at him intently still not knowing what thoughts were swirling in his head. "Well, you yourself condemn running away from problems. How about solving it here and now before it's too late and the broth gets quite cold?" Rupert could not respond other than to laugh but quickly became serious. "You see, until now I've been able to keep my distance between sessions with a patient, in this case you, and what happens in private. Yes, it's true that I don't tolerate suicidal people, but I still try to help them because that's what my profession requires. However, after realizing I might never see you again, the line was blurred. I began to see in you the daughter I never had and anger surged within me.""But I'm still here and am not going to the other side anymore. As I mentioned before, it was an unfortunate coincidence because I didn't want to jump at all. I mean not at that moment. Connor has an extraordinary talent for negotiating. Besides, I like coming here." It wasn't until the last of the words rang out that Laura recognized that the sentences that had been spoken created a kind of meaningless gibberish, and she felt terribly stupid.

"Then visit us whenever you want. Even without notice," he suggested. "In the meantime, we'd better get back because the broth will indeed get cold and Demelza will be angry."

Imagining an angry Demelza was beyond her power but she left her thoughts for later and followed Rupert into the dining room. They both took their seats without giving explanations. Laura ate two plates of broth, which Connor whined under his breath, "Eating like a bird, huh." Later, Rupert cut the roast, and although he didn't like it at all, he did it for the family atmosphere that accompanied this idiotic activity. It had been a long time since he had felt so good. Although he was a psychologist, he could not help himself, only Laura's presence managed to change something. It awakened in him a feeling of joy, which, however, was quickly extinguished by anxiety. He shouldn't let his personal emotions speak, but it happened.

"Rupert, would you like a second helping of roast?" asked Demelza. "Rupert?" she repeated the question when she didn't get a response. "No, thank you, dear. I'm already full," he replied when her voice was finally heard by him.

After dessert, which was a delicious apple pie, and a cup of good coffee, Rupert again took Laura to the study where he looked at the shelves of the bookcase for a while in search of a book. Finally, he took out the right one bound in soft brown leather and quickly found the page that interested him.

"Read this poem aloud," he asked, handing the book to Laura.

The woman looked at him in amazement, hesitating for a moment whether she was sure she had understood him correctly. The man gestured again, slipping her the volume. She carefully took it in her hands, fearing she might dirty the precious thing. She took a few breaths and looked uncertainly at Rupert, who nodded and began to read.

„So, we’ll go no more a roving”

So, we’ll go no more a roving So late into the night, Though the heart be still as loving, And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath, And the soul wears out the breast, And the heart must pause to breathe, And heart itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving, And the day returns too soon, Yet we’ll go no more a roving By the light of the moon.

As she read, she couldn't stop the tears from coming. At first, she thought it was deliberate abuse, but in time she understood the psychologist's intentions. She felt the weight carried on her shoulders begin to disappear, and although she finally let go of Joe’s hand held tightly, she felt no regret.

"Do you feel better after reading this poem?" "Yes. I'm surprised myself but by some miracle, it helped me more than anything else," she admitted quite frankly. "It helps me too when I have problems." "Then why don't you read it too?" she suggested. "You still look like something is bothering you." "You are very perceptive," he remarked and sighed. "Unfortunately, this is something I have to deal with differently."

The beating of the old clock standing in the dining room broke through into the study with a muffled sound. Laura calculated it was already six o'clock and time to go home. She reluctantly told Rupert about it, but the psychologist reiterated his offer to visit them whenever she wanted. Having said goodbye to him and Demelza, the two went outside where they were immediately greeted by a cold gust of wind. Connor opened the door of the Aston Martin, gesturing with his hand to invite the woman inside. Laura reluctantly took a step toward the car but immediately took two back.

"Why didn't you tell me about Adam's funeral?" she asked quietly, looking at the boot tracks left in the snow.

Thickening snow was biting the cheeks and nose of the woman, who was now looking at Connor waiting for an answer. He was sure Laura was about to cry, or react with rage as she always did, but she was calm. Her calmness hurt him more than any other reaction. It hurt because he knew how much hiding the truth did hurt her too.

All chapters can be found: [AO3], [dA], [Wattpad]and [Tumblr]

#Deus Ex #DXHR #Deus Ex Human Revolution #Adam Jensen #Shadowfanfic #crunchy-shadow #Shadow's Showdown #Nifriel #I never asked for this #Fanfiction #Evie Dormer OC #Joe Mando OC #Cyberpunk #Writers on tumblr #Youtube

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credenzafart · 2 years

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Update for the record since I know no one reads these. So hi future me I guess lmao. This is about me going in to the doctor to start the process of getting T for the first time after almost a decade since I first wanted it.

I told the nurse practitioner at the doctors office today that I’m trans and I need guidance on further steps — actually I didn’t get that far to say that I was crying too much 😳 I’ve never been so overcome by the urge to cry that I literally could not speak. Like I actually don’t remember that ever happening to me before today. I couldn’t even get the words out I had to try like five times wtf ?? And in my head I was gonna be so composed?? I was completely b-b-b-blindsided by the fact that I cried, I did not expect that whatsoever. How did I not expect that I would cry???? Anyway she just went ahead and gave me a referral for the endocrinologist and a psychologist and I was all set up lol. She was so nice to me she saw I was going thrrouuuuuugh it girl. She said “I hope that what you take from this appointment is that it’s okay to not be okay.” God that was the craziest experience ever. I was so embarrassed that I cried, but also I understand.

Man, on the bus ride there I really felt like some part of myself was dying. But not in a bad way, more like in a end-of-lord-of-the-rings-sailing-away-to-elf-heaven kind of way. That girl b dead. Shinigami Eyes by Grimes was playing and she was saying “are you ready to die” and my female form said YES BITCH TAKE ME ALREADY. I seriously felt so surreal. I knew I would never forget that bus ride for the rest of my life.

You know it’s funny, I think that how hard I cried actually proves to me more that this is real. I was repressing the shit out of these feelings. I really was. And whatever part of me keeps doubting if this is a good idea is quelled now because CLEARLY this is real and needs to be addressed. Even the doctor (or nurse or whatever) was pointing out how the fact that I was crying so much meant that there’s something going on.

The only issue now is getting an appointment, for endo and psych. They’re booked up for over a month for one and several months for the other… nah bc I need this now. Or like in a few weeks. Will update the record when I can. For now I’m on the last episode of season one of pretty little liars.

My crush is still the hottest person alive and I’m still super dumb for it meaning so much to me. Also I learned today on youtube that a lot of peoples attraction to men skyrockets when they go on T and some people who never knew they could be into guys become into guys. Very interesting to me. Might be a myth, might not. I’m already very into guys though lol. I’ve never dated a guy before and if I start now it’s because the dating pool is going from straight guys to gay guys and that’s a major improvement.

#testosterone #ftm #queer #testosterone update #ftm gay #trans #trans ftm

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cyarskj1899 · 2 years

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Sex & Relationships

Cosmo Confessions

55 Super-Sexy Ways to Turn On Your Partner

Arousal is different for everyone, but these ideas are A+ starting points.

by SYEDA KHAULA SAAD

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Like with most things when it comes to sex, everyone’s different, and there is no one-size-fits-all way to turn someone on. Everyone responds to sexual stimuli different, and it takes understanding, patience, and a whole lot of kinky experimenting to really understand what makes your partner horny on the reg. But a common misconception when your partner is a cis-het male is that they’re DTF all the time, 24/7, and that’s simply…not true for everyone!

“There’s a cultural expectation that men should want sex all the time, and when a man struggles with his turn-ons or libido, there’s a lot of stigma and shame that often goes with it,” explains sex educator Kenneth Play, creator of the Sex Hacker Pro course. “Seek to understand what’s going on without making it personal, and if you think outside of the box, maybe you can come up with a strategy together.”

And even if your partner isn’t struggling to get turned on, exploring new things in bed can take even the best sex to another level. As usual, we’re here with a few kinky ideas to help your sex life get where you want it to go, starting with the all powerful ~take it slow~.

“One of the most important things we can do to experience more pleasure and more consistent sexual satisfaction with our partners is to slow down,” says licensed psychologist and sexologist Dr. Nikki Coleman. “We need to learn to engage our sensuality—the stimulation of our senses—to enhance our sexual pleasure.”

Read on for more ways to boost your partner’s arousal game and turn them all the way on. (And remember, these ideas can be applied to partners of all genders, not just men!) Their sex drive—and yours!—will thank you.

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sexting

Sexting is truly an under-utilized art form. If you enjoy building up anticipation, nothing is as playful as the teasing that comes from a good ol’ fashioned sext. Whether you’re into detailed sentences about the dirty things you want to do to your partner, or you’re more of a “show don’t tell” type of person, sexting covers it all. “Get creative and make it fun!” Dr. Coleman says. Just make absolutely sure that your partner is comfortable by talking about boundaries in advance.

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go on a sexy scavenger hunt

Who ever said that scavenger hunts couldn’t be sexy? You can use intimate information (or items) that are special to you and your partner as clues. And as a prize? Naughty favors. “It creates a sense of intimacy and gives you pleasure,” Dr. Coleman says. “Best part about it? Everyone wins!”

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make your partner your main focus

Set up a date where you or your partner focus only on each other’s pleasure. “It's not about reciprocating, but it's all about giving,” Dr. Coleman says. A lot of this just involves staying in the moment and reconnecting with touch and sensation. You’ll see just how all of your senses are heightened by getting lost in pleasure and not focusing on making sex a performance.

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be attentive

Honestly, one of the hottest things you can do for anyone is give them your full attention. "Most people walk around with an invisible sign on their foreheads that says 'Make me feel important,'" explains erotic educator Taylor Sparks, founder of Organic Loven. "Find ways/things to compliment them. Is it their body, their mind, their desires, their dreams? Giving your person your utmost attention, especially in a public place, where there are lots of distractions, is a great boost to their ego."

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ask them what they want

As with anything sex-related, communication is key. "Ask them what turns them on and why that turns them on," says Sparks. "Be open/flexible to the possibility that they may be reluctant to share what turns them on because they are afraid of being judged." If you're not into what they want to do, totally fine (and uh, you obvi don't need to do it), but just giving them the space to share their fantasies is arousing.

And FWIW, if you're doing something that's not exactly working, Sofiya Alexandra, co-founder and co-host of the Private Parts Unknown podcast, suggests not taking it too personally. "It’s not a condemnation of you, it’s an adjustment in tactics," she explains.

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watch porn together

Lots of people get turned on by visuals, and luckily, there's a whooole market for that in porn. That's why ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist, Jess O’Reilly, PhD, suggests watching something erotic together. There are lots of different porn options out there if you're new to the genre, so spend an evening exploring the options together then talking about what you liked/didn't like.

Dr. Jess adds you can also watch regular television and film programs together to uncover what themes and experiences lead to arousal (looking at you, Bridgerton).

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read an erotic story

If you're not up for watching porn—or visuals just aren't as much your thing—Dr. Jess says you can also consider reading a hot story, or listening to an erotic audiobook/audio porn together. There are tons of options out there, whether you want something short and to the point or a whole series with an epic story tied into the sexiness.

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go to a sex club together

For the truly adventurous out there, Play suggests going to a sex party or sex club together. "You don’t need to do anything with other people," he explains. "But sometimes, seeing what other people do is a real inspiration."

If you decide you *do* want to play, make sure to talk about your limits ahead of time. If you need help negotiating that, Play suggests checking out Dr. Zhana’s Open Smarter course.

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...or just talk about it

If the idea of a sex club or sexy situation sounds hot but you don't actually want to do it, just have an evening talking about your fantasies in detail.

While you're chatting about what gets you going, Dr. Jess suggests discussing how you want and what you need to feel in order to get aroused. Do you want to feel loved? Challenged? Safe? Desired? Try to pinpoint what it is for each of you so you know what vibes to aim for when it comes to seduction.

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use only your fingertips

Touch is obvi super arousing, but sometimes the softer the sensations, the hotter the seduction. "Use your eyes to look your partner up and down, [and then] use your hands to touch all over and really explore," suggests Dr. Jess. "Tune in to the sensations in your fingertips" and even use your nails to lightly scratch and stroke their skin.

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get turned on yourself

The most basic way to turn someone on? Simply get aroused yourself. "Arousal is contagious," explains Play, so don't feel like you're doing all of this simply for your S.O. Turn yourself on by doing things that are both enjoyable for you and your partner.

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remove distractions

If there's one thing that can take away from the mood, it's distractions. Tablets, computers, phones, clutter—Dr. Jess says to get rid of them all so you can concentrate on each other and not the pile of mail in the corner or text notifications that keep going off.

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offer some stress relief

Even though you might not have considered it, outside factors can have major effects on someone's libido. "If someone is going through a lot of stress in their outside life—like losing a job or having some other big challenge—they might not be feeling confident," explains Play. And not feeling confident is a really great way to not feel sexy, which in turn, means you probably won't get aroused.

In this case, something as simple as a word of encouragement or a back rub to relieve some stress could be the key to a night of passion.

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use a cock ring

A cock ring is the perfect sexcessory to add to your playtime. And certified life coach Manya Wakefieldrecommends the Lelo Tor 2. "If you rotate it up, it will vibrate against your clitoris as you move with your partner. Rotate it down and it will drive them wild as it vibrates against the testicles," Wakefield says.

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get connected via tantric breathing

"Becoming connected to your partner through syncing your breaths together and by gazing eye-to-eye will connect your energy," says certified sexologist and tantra practitioner Tyomi Morgan.

Here's how to do it, per Morgan: "While facing each other, place your hand over their heart and their right hand over yours. Place your left hand over their hand, and ask them to place their left hand over yours. Then, stare into each other's eyes and breathe deeply into your diaphragm. Encourage them to stay in the same pattern as your breathing."

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let them watch you masturbate

Yup, they can look but they can't touch...until they're begging. "Have them sit and watch you masturbate," suggests intimacy coach Ro Sanchez, CEO of She.Slips. Bonus points: Tie their hands up with a silk scarf or some handcuffs.

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try dressing up instead of dressing down

Do you both have a sexy nurse fantasy or any other hot role-playing idea? Now’s the time to take it full-circle and make that dream a reality.

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give them a massage

Giving your partner a sensual massage can not only build excitement and get you both raring to go, but also helps you get in tune with their body and build comfort and trust.

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watch a sexy show together

If you’re looking for a suggestion, how about Outlander or The Witcher? Both shows are guaranteed to get your blood pumping in all the right ways. And never forget, the couple that streams together, stays together.

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try a remote-controlled vibrator

Want to hand your partner the reins? Try a remote-controlled vibrator that lets them control the intensity and pattern while you go to town across town. (Across town, in this instance can literally be on the other side of the bed, if you want.)

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try a remote-controlled panty vibe

If you love the idea of remote-controlled toys but want to keep all your fancy lingerie on, go for gold with a remote-controlled panty vibe. These underwear vibrators tuck into your panties for clitoral stimulation so you can continue to give your partner a show and parade around in your sexy wares at the same time.

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rim your partner

If anal foreplay is on your list of shared interests, there’s plenty of butt stuff you can do that doesn’t actually involve anal penetration if you’re not quite there yet.

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light some candles

Ambiance is everything, baby. Light some candles for a sexy glow that will not only make the mood extra sensual, but also make you feel your sexiest self while bathed in dim, flickering candlelight. A win-win! Even better if you get massage candles with an easy-pour spout so you can also transition into a sexy massage.

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incorporate some asmr sex into the mix

If you and your partner are people who dig ASMR, you can also incorporate that in the bedroom. It's called ASMR sex, and yes, it’s a thing. Put on some ASMR tracks (Spotify has you covered), and start throwing in some gentle touching and light tickling to see if you can feel the tingles on another level.

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play with their nipples

If your partner is male-identifying, men’s nipples are just as hot of an erogenous zone for him as they are for you. Try rubbing them in a circular motion, incorporating toys, or using your tongue to lick and suck. And then have him try it on you. Bonus if you have a nipple orgasm.

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also get naked

I mean, why not, right? Can't leave them all alone like that!

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cover their eyes

Make them put on a blindfold (or tie a scarf around their eyes) and drive them crazy with every mysterious stroke, kiss, lick, and touch. Only let them take it off if they beg (or use the safe word, ofc). ;)

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hold a 'magic mike' viewing party for one

Turn on "Pony" and ask your person to werk their best Channing impression. You can also watch both movies together too, for "inspiration."

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give them a show of your own

You can go for a minute, or if you wanna be playfully mean, way longer than that. They'll both love and hate you for the latter, so why not let them let off some steam?

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be the ultimate tease

Kiss and lick your way down their torso...then stop right before you get to their pleasure spots. If you really want to be cruel, give their penis or vulva a quick peck on the head. Then, walk away for a little bit. Only you get to decide when you come back.

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incorporate a vibrator

Or honestly, like 12. You just have so many options! You can try a couple's vibe to close up that orgasm gap, try out a vibrating penis ring, get flirty with a finger vibe, or honestly, just get off with a classic wand.

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think outside the bed

Vacation sex is usually such a standout because you're on vacation, aka moving outside your go-to sex routine. But if you don't want to wait for a trip to have incredible sex, take a smaller trip–to a different part of your home. Try the kitchen counter, a (sturdy!) table, or, hell, even lean against the bathroom sink. Just, you know, keep it indoors and legal.

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cook together

A bonding activity that's actually delicious. Also a great excuse to come up behind each other as you take turns making that sandwich. Sure, it might be two hours before you actually eat, but who's counting??

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turn them into a buffet

Do your taste buds a favor and dole out some flavored lube, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, or whatever else you consider a dessert on a total snack.

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own your inner cowgirl

Whether reverse or regular, being on top can make it easier for you to orgasm. And hey, your partner will not mind the view.

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find their p-spot (no, it's not on the penis)

The prostate—the walnut-size gland under their bladder—is a vastly underutilized erogenous zone. Try resting two fingers against the swath of skin between their testicles and anus when you ride them or give them head–it sounds random but trust, they will probably react. You can always move on to fingering or pegging too!

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give them the silent treatment

This is basically sex charades: Wrap your hand around their penis and don't say a word. When they do something you're really into, give them a little squeeze until you graduate to a full-on hand job.

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get dirty...with your talk

Telling your partner what you find so irresistible about them and what you want them to do to you is a great way to talk about consent and guarantee that the experience will be everything you hope for and more. Also, it's just a huge turn-on.

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compliment them!

Saying nice things to people is underrated. If you like their butt, tell them! If their legs could turn you on for daaaaaays, let em know!

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break out into downward dog

Have your partner perform a solo yoga sesh, or join them. Sexercise has never been hotter.

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give each other full-body massages

Grab some massage oil or lotion and get to work.

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institute a hands-off policy

You can touch each other's bodies with your lips, tongues, and breath instead.

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get the opposite of hot in here

Sometimes you gotta cool down to turn up the heat. Have your partner lie on their back as you run an ice cube from their neck aaaaalll the way down.

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get behind...and get ahead

Stand *behind* your partner while touching and stroking them. This positions your palm flat against their sensitive underside, the same way they grip it when they masturbate. Then do a few things they can't do themselves, like gently lick their ear or kiss their back. And if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can attempt the rusty trombone, where you perform a rim job and hand job at the same time.

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have them lift you up (physically, but ya know, also emotionally)

Ask your partner to hold you up against the wall, Ryan-Gosling-in-The-Notebook-style with your legs wrapped around their lower back. Not only is this minimal work for you, but watching them work up a sweat while they do sex things to you is not the worst way to spend a Sunday. Or a Tuesday night. Literally, everyone should do this more often.

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(provided your tub is clean) take a bath

Again, actual penetration might be tough here, but you can still grind up on each other and talk about your feelings!

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take a shower together

Shower sex itself can be tricky and even frustrating to pull off sometimes (despite what all the movies say), so don't feel pressure to do anything but watch the water and suds cascade off your bodies. Foreplay that also gets you clean is a tough one to beat.

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screw 69–try 77

You've probably heard of 69ing. Maybe you even hate it a lot. If so, consider 77'ing. No oral sex is involved here–instead, the numbers simply illustrate what your bodies look like in a side-entry position. If you're still skeptical, just know that this particular angling makes for A+ penetration that goes juuuust deep enough.

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play rough (again, with consent!)

Talk about your boundaries and safe words, learn what they're into and what they're not, but once you're both game, let loose and play rough. Try biting their lips, scratching their back, letting them tie you up—the sky is the limit.

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tie them up in a whole new way

Even a plain scarf does the trick if you use the right technique. Take a long silk wrap, place it around their penis and balls and tie it in a large square knot, leaving about a foot of fabric on either end to hold on to. As you're riding them, pull on the free ends so that the knot rubs against your clitoris.

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go deep

You can make it even better by drawing your knees toward your chest and grasping the back of your thighs. You can also place the soles of your feet on their chest if you're in the mood for some deep penetration.

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have them describe exactly what they want

Why wonder when you can just know?

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make it a quickie

OMG-gotta-have-it-now sex is soooo worth it.

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go for round two...or three...or four

If you're craving another go, tell them. Your partner probs has more stamina than you think.

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just hang out

Just because you're naked doesn't mean you HAVE to do anything other than enjoy each other's company. Order takeout and watch TV, reveling in your fully nude selves.

SYEDA KHAULA SAADSyeda is a writer for Cosmopolitan who likes to analyze and improve the way we look at sex as a way to topple the patriarchy

1 note · View note

secretsbehindthenine · 2 years

Note

Request open? Do you think we could get some randy hurt and Howard comforting him/ helping his wounds or something? Or maybe randy having a nightmare and him and Howard talking about it?

Howard was shit with feelings—let's just put that out there on the table where everybody could see it. He barely had a handle on his own, so it should've been a no-brainer to anyone with a functioning brain that you should never come to him if you needed to sort out your emotions like a normal fucking human.

And yet—

"Cunningham, it's okay," he muttered, hand practically clenching down on his phone in a vise-like grip. "I'm okay."

"But you weren't," Randy hissed on the other side of the line. "The Tengu, it...I...I had to—"

"Save me from being a honkin' bird demon's glorified meat puppet?" Howard cut him off. "Yeah, dude, I know. And I'm glad you did."

A breath, shallow and shaky.

"Are you sure you're okay? I-I mean, you were the one that got possessed."

"But I'm not that's getting nightmares about it, am I?"

That was a lie, that was a fucking lie. Once you get a centuries-old bird demon shoved up your ass and ingrained in your mind like a goddamn parasite, "normal" felt more like a distant past life than a state of being you'd return to once everything was said and done. He could still feel the Tengu's talons on him, hear it screech garbled Japanese into his ears till his mind went blank. But Howard couldn't tell Randy that. Not now, at least.

Or ever, really.

"Howard—"

"Cunningham, I'm okay." He shifted in his bed, rolling over onto his back so that his eyes were on the ceiling and not on the shadows that filled his room. "I'm always gonna be okay, as long as I got you."

A pause, quiet and lengthy.

"Even when I wonk things up?" Randy asked, his voice softer than anything Howard's heard before.

"Even when you wonk things up."

Another pause, this one longer than the last. It lingered between them, minutes blurring into one another. Howard's eyelids were already halfway closed when the other line came to life again.

"Thanks, Howard. For, uh, ya know. This."

"I'm your best friend, dude," he said with a barely audible laugh laced into his tone. "I'm legally obligated to counsel you like goddamn therapist when shit gets real and you need someone to vent at."

Randy chuckled. "You'd be a terrible therapist."

"Hell no. I'd be the terrible therapist." Howard fluttered his eyes shut, his words becoming nothing more than a slur of mumbles and murmurs just barely above audible. "The honkin' golden poster child of shitty psychologists everywhere."

"Will you get a certificate for your shittiness?"

He scoffed. "Fuck yeah I will. I'll get three of 'em. An associates' in dogshit, a bachelor's in horseshit, and a masters' in bullshit."

If you could grab and feel sound, Randy's laugh would be like a cup of hot chocolate after trudging through a mile's worth of snow. Or jumping into the pool on the hottest day of the year. It eased the tension out of Howard's limb, making him sink into his mattress.

"Good night, Professor Weinerman."

"Night, Cunningham."

#rc9gn #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #randy cunningham #howard weinerman #ah i hope you like this one anon!!#went with the nightmare prompt bc who doesnt love some good ol fashioned 3am phone calls #might post this on my ao3 later #who knows ;)#Ari writes requests

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momoliee · 3 years

Text

WHY YOU SHOULD READ MO DU/SILENT READING :

Did I spend the last 10 days holed up in a corner greedily drinking this novel in one go cause I just couldn’t get enough? Yes. Am I gonna make it everyone’s problems and drag everyone into reading it too? Also absolutely yes.

To start off, this novel is a mystery/thriller/crime/psychological horror/action modern BL novel. It has some EXCELLENT psychological analysis, criminal profilings, and very very intense cases and crimes as well as certain philosophies that will make you question society as a whole and be unable to distinguish between good and bad, justice and tragedy.

Like baby, we talking yellow ‘keep out’ tapes, white investigation boards filled with suspects, car chases, bombs, explosions, gun fights, hostages, MURDER, time limits, adrenaline, INTERROGATION ROOMS, a lot of psychological horror, absolutely no censoring, and just crime crime crime crime.

Each case has its own little twist, each case is horrifying and terrifying and creative and interesting and engaging and my god are the interrogation room scenes some of the BEST and MOST INTENSE that I’ve ever read with a whole ass battle of wits and don’t even get me STARTED on gathering evidence and rounding up suspects and being put in mortal danger—

We got Fei Du, genius psychologist, rich CEO, low key sociopathic, with some high key fucked up trauma, and some A+ flirting skills that WILL make you blush

Then we have Lou Wenzhou, captain of the violent crimes team in the city bureau, he’s hot he’s charming he’s fast he’s strong he’s quick he’s sharp he’s baby he’s HUSBAND. The only one who can handle Fei DU’s flirting by flirting back even HARDER and trapping his ass

Their relationship follows the enemies-rivals to reluctant allies with subtle sexual undertones to friends with not so subtle sexual tension to lovers and I swear, it’s one of the HOTTEST slowest most torturing and addicting romance that I’ve read in a while

Nevertheless, the novel focuses on the incredibly woven and brilliantly spun plot. Imagine you’re still 16 watching some crime show and the detective pulls out the white board with all the pictures and red lines on it. That’s the plot. Everything adds up, everything connects, no loose endings. The action will fuck you up and leave you on the edge of your seat. One scene your characters will be lazily mocking each other for checking in late, the next they’re engaged in a life or death car chase against a hoard of criminals while they fight to reach the small piece of evidence before it slips through their fingers. Priest will confuse you, she’ll make you suspect everyone, she’ll spin you around in circles before laying it all out loud and clear. And I loved every moment of it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: psychological horror, crime, blood, explicit gore, explicit torture, psychological torture, sexual assault, rape, pedophilia, child rape, animal abuse, trauma, ptsd, suicide, self harm, depression, child abuse, explicit abuse, minors doing things minors shouldn’t do, drugs, addiction, substance abuse, human trafficking, forced prostitution, gaslighting, manipulation, arson, bullying, classicism, rehab, electric chair

#danmei #cnovel #priest #mo du #mo du zhe #silent reading #danmei recs

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theotherackerman · 3 years

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Thursday January 7th

song mikasa is singing: my tears ricochet- taylor swift

chapter thirteen: hear my stolen lullabies

“It’s stuck!” Floch yelled.

“I told you to lift your side higher!” Niccolo shouted back.

Today was another moving day at the old Jaeger house. Most of the things would be loaded up into the moving truck.

Eren had caved and packed up his bedroom early this morning before everyone else arrived. Niccolo and Floch had been in charge of getting the wrap around couch in the basement out in sections. They had been having issues this entire time.

Now a section couch was stuck in the doorway to the basement. It was at a strange angle so that the back and the front were both tipped up. It almost looked like the couch was floating.

“You two are fucking idiots,” Zeke said as Eren helped stabilize the refrigerator on the dolly.

“Zeke, help us!” Floch whined.

“Moving a fridge right now,” he grunted as he tipped the refrigerator back.

“I’m going to be stuck in the basement forever,” Floch muttered.

“Oh you can finally improve on your bass skills,” Niccolo laughed.

“Ha ha ha. That joke was only funny the first ten times you said.”

“Oh no, it’s still funny. Just not to you.”

Suddenly, a group of people had descended on the couch.

Two girls went under the floating couch to the other side.

“Move,” Mikasa said as her and Historia grabbed onto the side Floch was holding.

Ymir and Sasha were on the other side, ready to lift.

“On three!” Sasha yelled. “One! Two! Three!”

The couch was free.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Niccolo muttered.

They carried the couch outside and onto the truck where Zeke and Eren were waiting for them.

They placed the couch down.

Zeke and the rest of the group exited, leaving Eren and Mikasa alone in the moving truck.

“Hey,” Eren said.

“Hey,” she said simply.

He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, “thanks for coming.”

“Of course. It gives Annie and Armin some alone time before he goes back to campus.”

“Levi not there?”

“Oh no, he’s there. He’s just got his earbuds in and he’s cleaning the entire house.”

“He didn’t make you help?” Eren raised an eyebrow.

“We tried to this morning and he ended up just getting frustrated with us. Besides, he’s really picky about how the Christmas decorations get put away.”

Eren laughed, “sounds like Levi.”

“Can you two go flirt somewhere else? We’ve got another piece of the couch,” Ymir said as she e ntered the moving truck holding one side of the couch.

“Ymir! Be nice to them,” Historia said as she held the other side.

“We’ve got the next piece!” Sasha called from outside the truck.

Moving went much faster than Eren had thought was possible. The girls were like a finely tuned machine. Even though he had seen them like this for years, the way they anticipated each other’s next move was still impressive to Eren.

They took a break for lunch. Everyone sat on the floor with their own carton of Chinese takeout.

“So how far are you going to be from us, Eren?” Sasha asked before taking another bite.

“A little over an hour. I’m fifteen minutes from the club we were at on New Year’s Eve.”

He couldn’t pretend not to notice Mikasa looking down into her takeout carton. He knew he was thinking the exact same thing. They had just got one another back in their lives, now he was leaving again.

“What’s your place like, Zeke?” Historia asked before she gave Mikasa a small pat on her knee.

“Well, there’s a lake. I’ve done quite a bit over remodeling the past few years since our grandparents died,” Zeke answered.

“Wait, your grandparents just died?” Ymir asked.

“Ah. Yes, our father lied about that too. While I was kept a secret from Carla and Eren, Eren was kept a secret from our grandparents.”

“What a piece of shit,” Ymir said before taking a bite.

“Zeke’s house is really nice. If you get the chance, you should come sometimes for band practice. The lake is awesome in the summer,” Niccolo chimed in.

“You can’t just invite people to Zeke’s house,” Floch said.

“It’s fine. They’re welcome too. Besides, Levi has an open door policy so I might as well too,” Zeke said before eating.

“Do you like being a psychologist?” Historia asked.

“Yes, I find it fulfilling. It’s nice to help someone improve their own life. It’s very rewarding to see someone take control back. There are also those that come simply to talk and it’s nice to be the person they confide in.”

“So what about you, Floch? Do anything interesting since high school?” Sasha asked.

“Joined a band. I’m in my last year of college. You know, normal stuff,” he said with a shrug.

“Wow, as normal and boring as ever,” Ymir remarked.

“Hey!”

“So Niccolo, are you ready to get grilled with questions?” Ymir smirked.

“Uh, sure. No, not really,” his face went red as he looked down into his container.

“Hmm, I don’t know about this one, Sasha.”

“What? Wait, you can ask me anything. Just not too personal. I mean I don’t have anything to hide. I….I’m in culinary school. I’ve played drums since I was five. I work as a bartender and at a restaurant. I’ve only had like two girlfriends before Sasha. And I really like your friend,” his face began to turn red.

“Oh you’re going to be fun,” Ymir smirked again.

“If they don’t tease you, you should be worried,” Mikasa spoke up finally.

“Oh. Good to know,” Niccolo replied.

The house was empty by 4:00 pm.

Zeke wanted to leave to make sure that he would make it back before sunset. Floch and Niccolo were following him back while Sasha took all the girls, besides Mikasa, back to Levi’s house.

So Eren and Mikasa were left alone in the old house to make sure everything had been cleared out.

“You’re not ready to say goodbye to this place, are you?” She asked as they stood in the basement.

“No, not really. It still hasn’t sold yet so Zeke will have to come by every so often to make sure everything is okay. We’ll be starting regular band practice again soon. It just makes sense for me to be there.”

Mikasa simply nodded.

“Looks like down here is all empty. We can check the rest of the house.” He grabbed onto the long sleeve on her shirt and gently tugged it.

She gave him a smile before nodding again. They walked upstairs, not once did Eren ever let go.

“You know an hour is not that far away.”

“I know.”

“And I’ll be back sometimes.”

“I know,” she repeated before looking down.

He let go of her sleeve and cupped her face with his hand. “I’m not giving up on this. I’m not giving up on fixing this. You gave me another chance. I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again but I promise that I’m not giving up on you.”

That made her cry. He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He stared at her lips for a brief moment. He couldn’t put into words how desperately he wanted to kiss them again. He knew he shouldn’t so instead, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He took a step back from her. Mikasa went over to his backpack that was sitting in the corner and swung it over her shoulders before grabbing Eren’s sleeve.

“Let’s go home,” she replied simply.

---------

“Why would you name your child Anchovy?” was the first thing Mikasa heard as she entered the house. Ymir and Sasha were watching tv together.

“It’s a very delicious fish,” Sasha chimed in.

“Oh gross,” Ymir replied. “It’s a dumb name.”

Mikasa and Eren looked at one another before they took their shoes off.

“Is Annie naming her kid Anchovy?” Eren asked.

“No, at least I don’t think so. If she does, I’m going to tease her forever. It’s this dumb movie. Apparently, the couple is naming their child Anchovy,” Ymir said as she pointed to the tv.

“Where do you find this stuff?” Mikasa asked.

“Well, this one is on Hallmark. I guess they ate anchovy pizza the first date they went on. It’s dumb as hell.”

“House empty?” Sasha asked.

“Yep, we checked everything. Nothing left behind,” Eren answered.

“Good.”

“Thanks for helping, all of you.”

Ymir waved her hand, “it’s what friends do. Besides, Zeke bought us food. That makes it even.”

“Where’s Historia?” Mikasa asked.

“On the phone with my dad. She’s going to work at the indoor farmer’s market with us if she likes what he has to say,” Sasha replied before stretching.

“I got a job at the bar. I knew having an alcohol license would come in handy,” Ymir said.

“What about you, Mikasa? Got any jobs lined up?” Eren asked as he sat down in Levi’s chair.

“Oh! He doesn’t know!” Sasha exclaimed.

“Oh, right. So you know my mom’s tattoo that I got?” Mikasa asked, “the one for her family?”

“Yeah, I went with you.”

“Um, well. I guess I had a great aunt alive. Mom had her put me on the trust when I was born and she recently passed….”

“And now she’s loaded!” Ymir exclaimed.

“Well, not yet. Because of the holidays, things got slowed but it should go into my bank account any day now,” Mikasa sat down in between Ymir and Sasha.

“But Mikasa is boring and responsible so she won’t be doing anything fun with the money,” Ymir s coffed.

“That’s not true. I just...don’t really want much. I want to record an album but there’s not a studio space around here that’s easily for rent. I’ve been looking into it,” Mikasa replied.

“You could buy yourself a car so you could go visit him every week,” Ymir nodded her head in Eren’s direction.

“I..uhh…” Mikasa’s face went red.

“Sasha, I forgot how nice your dad was,” Historia said as she entered the room.

“So are you working with me?” Sasha asked as she took her phone back from Historia.

“Yeah!”

“Yay! It’ll be so nice to have you working with me. I get so bored sitting there by myself. I just end up drumming on the stand and driving all the other vendors nuts,” Sasha laughed.

“Speaking of which, are we practicing today?”

“As soon as Armin and Annie get done. They’re still looking at doctors,” Historia said before leaning on the back of the couch. “Eren, you want to join us?”

“Thanks but I’m going to get Armin into gold today. You said we could use your console, right?” Eren asked Mikasa.

“Yeah, it’s in my room.”

“Good luck with that. He got me killed multiple times last time I played with him,” Ymir scoffed.

“I’m carrying him but it should be fine. I’ve done it before.”

“....any chance you want to help me get back up in the ranks?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m staying here until Saturday. So I should have plenty of time.”

“Awesome!”

Mikasa smiled to herself. She had missed this, all of her friends together, happy.

Historia played with the back of Mikasa’s short hair so she leaned back.

“Want to go work on a song?” Historia asked, “oh I forgot you have such pretty eyes, Mikasa.”

Mikasa flushed, “thanks.”

“Let’s go work on lyrics,” Historia smiled.

“Okay,” Mikasa replied before going to the sun room with Historia.

Silence filled the living room besides the Hallmark video playing for a brief moment. Then the piano music began.

“You can go watch if you want,” Ymir finally said before resting her feet up on the table.

“No, I know how Mikasa can get sometimes with her lyrics,” Eren turned his attention towards the tv.

“Oh, that’s right. You haven’t seen her and Historia write. You’ll be lucky if they acknowledge your existence sometimes. They just get into this zone.”

“It’s like they can read one another’s mind.” Sasha added.

“Or they’re already seen the song in the future or something,” Ymir said before standing up.

Eren and Sasha followed her towards the sun room.

The music got louder as they walked.

“Their roles switch. It’s so interesting,” Sasha said, “Historia plays and Mikasa sings.”

And sure enough, Mikasa’s voice began to fill the air just as they reached the doorway of the sun room. Mikasa and Historia were sitting next to one another on the piano bench in front of the keyboard. Mikasa was writing down lyrics as she sang.

“[lyrics redacted].”

Eren been the one to say that to her. He recognized the words as soon as he heard them. Ymir walked over and lounged in one of the chairs. Sasha sat down at her drum set.

“Grab a chair, Eren. They aren’t paying attention.”

“ [lyrics redacted] .”

If Mikasa and Historia did notice them, they sure didn’t act like it. They were both clearly lost in the music.

“ [lyrics redacted] .”

Mikasa’s eyes met Eren’s for a moment.

“ [lyrics redacted] . ”

She looked away.

He was starting to think Ymir and Sasha had been wrong.

Both Historia and Mikasa clearly knew that people were there.

They just chose to ignore them.

Except Mikasa didn’t ignore Eren.

When had either of them been able to ignore each other?

“ [lyrics redacted] ”

Historia finished playing the song.

“Oh I liked that!” Historia beamed.

“Me too. It still needs work. I mean the whole first verse doesn’t exist. I think we could add more to the bridge.”

“Oh! What if we had rotating pieces to the chorus? Like we use similar lines and then change them. I really like ‘ [lyrics redacted] .’ I worry though if we repeat it, it’ll lose its meaning.”

“How high of a note can you sing again?”

“Why?”

“Because I think there needs to be something between ‘ [lyrics redacted] ’ and ‘ [lyrics redacted].’ I think whatever we put here, it needs to go up a few octaves so that it’s impactful.”

“Oh! I like that. Maybe we can have Annie or Ymir sing those two lines and then I’ll sing whatever the other two new lines are.”

“That works.”

Ymir had been right about their level of working together. They bounced ideas back and forth between one another. Though he and Mikasa had worked similarly to this, the way Mikasa worked with Historia was perfect. He wondered if leaving her had actually given her the push she needed. She wasn’t self conscious with Historia. She didn’t seem to care who heard her sing.

Maybe he was the problem.

No, she was just nervous because it was him, Eren corrected himself mentally.

Mikasa worried what he thought.

It wasn’t anything more than that.

Wasn’t he the same way?

Annie and Armin came into the sunroom.

“I thought I heard music,” Annie said with a smile.

“Pick a doctor?” Sasha asked.

“We picked a top three. I’ll start calling tomorrow. It’s kind of late for that now.”

“You up for band practice?” Ymir asked.

“I’m pregnant, not dead. Of course, I’m ready,” Annie scoffed as she walked over to her guitar and began tuning it.

Sasha laughed, “what song are we doing?”

“We should do another livestream soon. So maybe we’ll pick a song to do for that?” Historia suggested.

“What about that one summer song? The more recent one,” Ymir suggested.

Mikasa nodded, “it’s upbeat. I think that’ll be good.”

Levi entered the sun room with Sawney and Bean following him. “Not so fast. Ymir, you put your feet on my table. You get to clean it.”

“How do you know it was me?” Ymir asked.

He just stared at her.

“....Fine. I’ll be back.”

“Ready to go for gold?” Armin asked Eren.

“Yeah, let’s go. Have a good rehearsal,” Eren smiled.

Mikasa couldn’t help but smile back.

-------

“You’re in love with her still. Maybe even more now,” Armin said as he walked over and turned the console on.

Eren groaned, “don’t remind me.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I see her and I want to kiss her. I want all of her, emotionally, physically, and I had all that and I fucked it up. So now I get to sit here and wish I could go back to the way things were.”

Armin handed Eren a controller before he grabbed one from the charging dock Mikasa had.

“So why not just give in?” Armin asked as he sat down on the floor next to Eren.

“Can’t fuck it up this time. She gave me another chance. I have got to do things right. That’s why I came up with that plan the other day.”

“You’ve come a long way in this last year. Not just giving into everything you want to do and actually thinking things through for once.”

“Well, I did almost have sex with her that day after the graveyard.”

“Yeah, she told me. How did that happen?”

“I don’t know! She’s just standing there being herself and I missed her and...she was saying all these things about not wanting to leave me. How she wants to share my burdens. I just sort of….got caught up in the moment. I’m sure you understand that,” Eren smirked as the game loaded up.

“Yes...but probably a good thing you didn’t.”

“But I still wanted to.”

“Wanted?”

“Want. It’s only her for me, you know? This time last year, I was sure I would never see her again or you. Then she happens to be at my concert? She walks back into my life and all I want to do is keep her here and make up for my fuck up. That’s all. So if that involves a lot of cold showers for a while, I’ll deal with it.”

Armin looked over at Eren and smiled.

#mmtylif #my writing

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jiminicus · 4 years

Text

Fluffy First Times

Genre: Fluff 🐨 , Smut ⛓️

Pairing : Jungkook x Reader

Word count : 4.6k

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Sexual Content

Mealis was an average college student in the fourth year of her studies. In high school, she was the quiet girl that rarely went out to with her friends. When she first entered college, she thought she would be finally able to socialize, get a boyfriend, fall in love, and do all the good things that people did in their youth. However, as the years passed, she always preferred to focus on her studies, never finding time to meet new people and achieving her so-called “social goals” that she had set. She was starting to get disappointed with herself. All her friends, even the shyest ones had at least had their first kiss.

Today, this was all going to end. She was now in the waiting room of a nicely furnished, modern building, filling some paperwork. She was here for “sex therapy”, as the website she found out about them liked to refer to their services. At that time, she was not looking to get laid, but after reading the reviews on their website for a couple of months, the idea didn’t seem that bad. All service providers were trained to create unique experiences for every guest and tailor the session according to the needs, desires, and personalities of their clients. They specialized in providing “therapy” to those dealing with problems in their sexual life as well as people who had insecurities and fears, and sometimes even helped people explore their sexuality, showing them new ways to have fun.

This kind of experience was of course expensive, and she had to work some extra hours in the nearby café to be able to afford it. It seemed to be worth it though, getting an actual boyfriend was time consuming, and based on her friends’ stories, she didn’t want to end up having her first time with someone that would break her heart. Spending the night with a professional was going to be easier, and it would also take away some of the nervousness she was feeling. She would never see him again after all.

When she filled the papers and checked them thoroughly, she passed them to the lady on the front desk. She instructed her to wait some more in the waiting room until her “therapist” was ready to take her in. Drinking the hot tea she was offered when she first entered the building, she looked around the place. Nothing about it hinted to what happened behind the closed doors, it looked like a normal lobby to normal business. She was happy for it though, she didn't want to be seen is some sort of a sex dungeon.

In some nerve wracking minutes, the young lady from before reappeared.

“Your therapist is ready and waiting for you in room 003.” She said politely and gestured towards the pathway Maelis was supposed to take.

She walked towards the room slowly, trying to calm herself.

“It’s finally happening.” She told herself taking a deep breath, feeling her heartbeat in her head.

She knocked on the door with the number 003 painted on it. In a few short moments, the door opened and a smiley boy stood in front of her. He had long black curly hair and an adorable bunny smile. He was dressed comfortably in some sweatpants and an oversized shirt that revealed part of the tattoos on his forearm. He looked young and friendly and his soft eyes immediately calmed her.

“Hello, my name is Jungkook and I will be your therapist for today.” He said as he opened the door wider to let her in.

“I am Maelis.” She responded quietly, still studying his features.

“Nice to meet you Maelis, please take a seat on the bed.” He said as he motioned towards it.

She sat on the corner of the bed while he set himself in the middle of it. Seeing her awkward position, he spoke.

“Take your shoes off and seat here.” He patted the place next to him.

She shifted her weight towards him, but the proximity made her shy and she diverted her eyes to her lap, trying to hide her blushing cheeks. His charming aura may not be that helpful after all.

“We have an hour and a half at our disposal today. We will spend some time talking and getting to know each other in the beginning and then we can go to more intimate acts. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, please let me know.” She did feel uncomfortable. He was perhaps the hottest guy she had ever seen and the fact that he was staring at her right now made her heartbeat go wild.

“You should know that this is a safe place and anything we say and do will in this room, will stay here.” He finished, summarizing the rules on the papers she had agreed on.

“Okay.” She said simply, unable to form a more complex sentence.

“On your papers you said you have never had sex before, so I assume you must be nervous.” Jungkook said as he shifted his weight so he was sitting in front of her.

“I am very nervous.” She admitted feeling his eyes burn her skin.

“It’s ok to be nervous,” he smiled softly “But don’t worry, there is nothing scary at all.” He said and he took her hands in his, slowly moving his thumb across the back of her hand, trying to calm her down.

“So, tell me what kind of romantic intimacy you’ve had before?”

“None...” It felt embarrassing to say out loud. “Nothing at all.”

“Really?” He looked surprised at her confession. “Not even a kiss or holding hands with someone?”

“No. I have never had a boyfriend or anything.” She wished for the floor to open and swallow her in. She always felt that people were going to make fun of her and call her prudish when she told them about her nonexistent romantic life. Jungkook however, seemed to sympathize with her. He dealt with people who had problems in their sexual lives every day and he really wanted to help them feel better.

“Is there a reason for that?” He said with caution, knowing that it could be a sensitive topic for her. He didn’t want to admit it now, but he was also curious, why has a beautiful girl like her never experienced romantic love?

“I never had time…. And I guess I just never really wanted to.” She said as if she just realized it, lifting her eyes to meet his for a second.

He wanted to ask more questions. Why did she change her opinion now? Why did she come to him? But he knew those questions were prohibited to ask since they usually made the clients feel embarrassed or humiliated having to admit they needed help.

“What matters is that you want to try new things now, right?” He said cheerfully.

“How about we do something simple as we talk? Do you want to cuddle?”

“Yeah, sure.” She said relieved that the conversation about her life ended.

He sat with his back resting on the headboard, making some space between his legs. “Come here!” He said, the kind smile never leaving his face.

Maelis sat with her back relaxing on his chest. He put his hands around her waist and hugged her from behind. This position was definitely more comfortable and less awkward, as she didn’t have to look at the model looking guy she was supposed to have sex with.

The conversation took a lighter mood this time. He told her that he was a post-graduate psychology student and that he did research in the field of human sexuality. She told him about her failed previous relationship attempts, feeling more comfortable knowing she spoke to an actual psychologist.

It was fun and easy to talk to him and she almost forgot the actual reason she was there, until she felt his warm breath on her neck. Her body tensed as he pressed a soft kiss on her skin.

“Relax Maelis, it’s just a kiss.” Her cheeks took a rosy shade and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

“Tell me what you wished your crush did that night.” He placed another kiss just under her ear, referring to the story she was just telling him.

“I don’t know… I just wanted him to talk to me some more.” She said, trying to respond as if nothing happened.

“And then what?” He said in a suggestive manner.

She started to get nervous now. The conversation had taken a quick turn and she wasn’t prepared for that. She fiddled with her hands. Jungkook noticed her sudden change, but despite that, he wanted to make her express her desires, knowing very well that she was not going to do that by herself.

“What do you want me to do?” He said separating her hands and intertwining his fingers with hers. “You know I won’t judge you, nor I will make fun of you, I just want to know what will make your heart flutter.” His voice was gentle and soft as if he was talking to a child.

“What you do, already makes my heart flutter.” A shy smile appeared on her face. It was a simple confession, but it made her feel relieved she didn’t have to describe to him some kind of a porn scene.

“This?” He replied as he pressed another kiss on her neck. Another one followed, this time he parted his lips and slightly licked her skin. A shy moan slipped from her lips as he continued to shower her with kisses.

“I am so sorry!” She said right after, feeling embarrassed once again.

“Don’t be so shy sweetheart. I want to hear you enjoy yourself.” He whispered in her ear.

He then let go of her hand and slowly slid it under her sweatshirt, letting his fingers ghost over her skin. It felt electrifying having her stomach touched by someone in a situation this. It felt new and exciting and she sure enjoyed it, but something inside of her couldn’t quite let her let go, and live in that moment. She was tense and her mind was rushing through all the things that could happen next. She felt anxious. Was she really going to have sex now? Was she ready for it? Was spending the night with a stranger a good idea? She didn’t know what to do or how to act, she was frozen.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook said letting his head rest on her shoulder.

“I am sorry... It’s just a little overwhelming...” She snapped out of her trance.

“Stop overthinking babygirl. I know it’s all new to you, you don’t have to be perfect, just try to enjoy yourself.” Treating such an inexperienced person was new to him and making her comfortable was going to be challenging.

“Wanna turn around so we can do things a bit differently?” He said gently pushing her back. She turned around and he laid down on the bed, next to her.

“Imagine I was your boyfriend now and I’d let you do anything you want to me.”

The offer was tempting. What did she want to do the most? She wanted to kiss him, but he was too intimidating for her to attempt that. She opted for a hug. It was not that intimate and she felt nice cuddling with him. She wrapped her hands around his waist and lowered herself to his level. He embraced her back and pulled her down so she was now laying on top of him. Her head was on his chest and she could feel his heartbeat. He was calm and relaxed, nothing like the way she felt.

“Now what?” She said with a smile.

“Now nothing. You can do whatever you want. You can kiss me or touch me as I did to you. The hour is yours.” Did they spend thirty minutes talking? If she had to be honest with herself, she wouldn’t mind spending the rest of their time just cuddling in each other’s arms, but she wasn’t here for a cuddle session, she was here to have fun for once. As much as she enjoyed her time with him just chatting, she had paid way too much for her to waste it so easily.

She pressed her lips on his neck and he immediately tilted his head giving her more skin to work on. She tried to copy what he had done to her before while he run his hand through her hair. To her surprise it didn’t feel as awkward as she thought it would.

Maelis continued her actions for a minute or two before she decided to let her hands explore his body. The baggy shirt he was wearing didn’t show his musculature, but the thin material gave enough for her to feel his toned body. In a similar fashion, she slipped her hand underneath the fabric and let her fingertips barely touch his warm skin. It felt nice exploring his body while planting kisses on his neck and collarbones, but this was all he had done to her and she didn’t know what to do next.

“Jungkook.” She called him quietly. “What do I do now?”

He opened his eyes and smiled cupping her face with his palm. “What do you want to do? Wanna take it off?” He said while placing his other hand on her hand beneath his shirt.

She nodded. He got up and let her slip the material off his body. It was hard for her not to look at his well-defined abbs. His chest was broad and his arms were equally as toned, decorated in beautiful drawings. He looked like a Greek statue and she couldn’t help but stare at him.

"No wonder he had such good reviews on the website.” She thought.

“Like what you see?” He smirked.

He came closer to her, putting his hands on her thighs to support himself. He leaned even closer, leaving only a few inches between their faces.

“Your lips are so beautiful.” He said, running his thumb over her bottom lip. “They feel great against my skin too.”

Maelis was both uncharacteristically calm and having a heart attack at the same time. She had just locked her eyes with his and became enchanted in them. For once she wanted him to continue his suggestive words.

“Want to feel them against my lips too.”

He looked in her eyes, searching for a reaction, a permission to fulfill his words. To his surprise, she closed her eyes and leaned in first. He closed the remaining distance and connected their lips. It was a slow and soft kiss, gently touching their lips together.

Maelis never knew that lips were so soft and sensitive to touch. The feeling was inebriating and she felt the butterflies in her stomach again. Not knowing how long the kiss should last, she slowly pulled away.

For a second, she made quick eye contact with Jungkook before joining their lips for the second time. She felt his tongue licking her lower lip asking for permission to deepen the kiss. She parted her lips and let him slide in, intertwining his tongues together. All her thoughts were gone, she just wanted to feel more of him.

The kisses continued for a few minutes, as Jungkook slowly became more dominant, pushing her towards the bed. Once she was laying on her back, he set himself above her figure. He let his hands roam across her body. Her curves were exactly as he loved them and it would be a lie if he said he didn’t enjoy the session a bit more than usual. He wanted to see her body, so he started to lift the hem of her sweatshirt.

Once her stomach was uncovered, he broke the kiss. He gave her a quick peck on her nose and smiled kindly. He then lowered himself leaving kisses on her neck and then skipped over to her tummy leaving a row of raspberry kisses.

“You are tickling me.” She said through a wide smile, always having been sensitive in that area.

“Is that so?” He replied playfully and continued to blow even more raspberries on her tummy.

“Jungkook stop!” She felt tears start forming in her eyes from the laughter.

“I’ll stop only if you let me take this off.” He said holding the hem of her sweatshirt.

“Fine.” She agreed without much thought.

She got up and let him peel the material off her body. The cold air made her feel naked and she brought her hands to her front trying to cover herself.

Seeing her discomfort, Jungkook connected their lips again. In this position he took her hands in his and let them fall to her sides.

“You are beautiful, bub, don’t hide it.” He whispered against her lips. The innocent sweet kisses from before were gone. He was now passionately attacking her lips. She began to feel excited, anticipation replacing the nervousness in her lower stomach.

He moved his lips on her jawline and her neck. She felt more comfortable this time and let her heavy breathing be heard, sometimes letting a moan slip from her lips. He went lower, to her collarbones and cleavage. He found a place right on the curve of her right breast and placed an open-mouthed kiss, sucking on the tender skin. After decorating her cleavage with kisses, he licked the strip of skin right on the hem of her bra.

“Let me take it off?” He said lifting his gaze, to meet her eyes.

“If you want to.” She replied, trying to copy his tone from before.

Hearing that, he slipped the straps off her shoulders, leaving a kiss on each collarbone. He then reached behind her back and unclasped the bra. Once the bra was off, Maelis’ hands traveled to her now naked breasts in embarrassment. He placed a kiss in the center of her breasts and his mouth traveled up, towards her nipple.

“What did we say about hiding?” He said as he bit on her finger that was covering his target. His dorky behavior definitely worked and she removed her hand smiling at his actions.

He took the nipple in his mouth and toyed with it with his tongue. It felt good and she felt herself getting wet, rubbing her thighs together to get some friction.

“That’s my job darling.” He warned, placing his hand between her legs spreading them apart. He put one of his legs between hers and laid down on top of her. The pressure his thigh was putting on her core was making her skin burn but not giving her much pleasure.

His mouth was kissing and sucking on one of her breasts and his hand kneaded the other. After one particularly good lick on her nipple, she involuntarily moved her pelvis against his thigh, letting out a moan from the sudden pleasure she felt on her core.

“Impatient huh?” He said teasingly and moved lower, towards the hem of her shorts. He placed a kiss bellow her belly button and then continued south. He hooked his fingers on the waistband and tugged gently, asking her to take them off. She lifted her lower half letting him remove them.

As the fabric left her skin and found itself on the floor, all her worries fled her mind. The only piece of clothing remaining on her body was the thin fabric of her panties. She was naked in front of a sexy stranger that was supposed to take her virginity. She wasn’t on birth control. Did he have condoms?

“Of course he has condoms, it’s his job after all.” The rational part of her reminded.

But then, she didn't know what to do. What if he doesn’t enjoy the experience? What if she messes something up? What if she didn’t shave that well? What about the stretch marks on her thighs? Had he noticed them?

“What’s wrong?” His angelic voice took her thoughts away from her mind as he was running his hand soothingly over her thigh.

“I am nervous... What if something goes wrong?”

“I am here sweetheart." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I’ll tell you if you need to do something. For now, just relax.” He found his place between her legs and leaned in for a kiss.

“Do you have a condom?”

“Why? Do you have a preference for texture or flavor?” He said smiling at her naïve question.

“Maybe.” She said connecting their lips again. As the passionate kiss ended, Jungkook went down again, never breaking eye contact. He found her pink panties and placed a kiss on her clothed core.

“Let me take those too?” He said as he trailed his fingers on her inner things. A simple nod was enough and she found her wet lips exposed to the cold air.

“So wet baby...” He run his finger collecting some of her juices.

“I want to taste you.” He said licking his finger. He then licked a stripe from her clit to her opening. Maelis let a loud moan. She had surely touched herself before, but she had never found herself that sensitive in that area. The simplest touches were sending waves of pleasure through her whole body.

In the next few minutes, his lips never left her clitoris, constantly playing with it. Sometimes with feathery licks and other times with harsh sucks on her most sensitive nub. When she was wet enough, he slowly slipped a finger in her core, watching closely for any sign of discomfort. None was present and when he started moving his finger, her moans became louder.

He added a second finger, but this time, she felt some discomfort from the stretch from the depth at which his fingers penetrated her. After giving some more attention to her clit however, she felt the warm feeling in her lower stomach and told him to move his fingers, trying to chase out her orgasm.

Just before she could go over the edge, Jungkook stopped all his movements.

“Wait some more princess. Can’t let you cum now.” He said taking off his sweatpants and boxers at once.

She looked at him as he took a condom from the bedside table and slipped it on his cock. He looked beautiful naked, she thought. His muscular chest and thighs, his well-defined abs and... She didn’t want to stare at his cock for too long, but it was the first time saw a man naked in front of her and the girth and length of his member made her feel both intimidated and excited.

He turned back to her and lay between her legs. Their lips connected once again in a lustful kiss.

“Ready babygirl?” He said, pressing their foreheads together.

“I’ll be gentle. If you feel any pain or if for any reason you want me to stop, let me know and I will, okay babe?”

“Mhmm” Was all she could mutter. He lined his member with her entrance and delicately pushed forward. He moved slowly as he left gentle kisses on her neck and shoulders, trying to distract her from any discomfort.

Somewhere halfway through, she felt ripping pain and asked him to still his movements for a second.

“It’s okay baby.” He said kissing her shoulder.

When the pain started going away, she gave him a sign to continue. He slowly moved forward again till he felt himself bottom out.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Tell me when you are ready to move.” His voice softer than ever, his lips never leaving her skin. The feeling in her lower region was no longer painful but rather uncomfortable. Having something inside her felt unfamiliar.

“I am ready, Jungkook.” She said running her hands on his back. He started moving at a painstakingly slow pace. God, he wanted to move faster, she felt so good, he thought.

After a while, the uncomfortable feeling was almost gone and she began to feel the pleasure as he moved.

“Go faster.” It was all he needed. He gradually increased his speed and made his thrusts more powerful while always keeping it gentle.

It’s been a while since he treated a virgin but for the first time, it felt as if it wasn’t just the sex, they felt... close. Their lips danced on each other's bodies while their bodies moved in sync. It felt intimate, almost as if they were a couple that had long waited for their moment together. Maelis thought it was because Jungkook was a professional, but he knew, that what he felt at that moment was far from professional, ever for his job.

They felt their orgasms approach and the pace became faster, Jungkook moving his hand to rub Maelis’ clit. She felt a warm feeling build up in her lower stomach.

“Jungkook I...”

“Me too baby.” His thrusts lost rhythm, becoming more sporadic, chasing his orgasm. The change of pace sent Maelis over the edge, her body starting to shake as the orgasm rushed through her body. Shortly after, Jungkook too felt his orgasm approach, spilling his milky cum into the condom.

He let his body fall on top of hers, placing one last kiss on her forehead. She run her hands through his hair as he caught his breath.

“How do you feel bubble?”

“It felt good. It never feels this good when I do it by myself.” She admitted. “How do you feel?” She asked cautiously, not sure if he actually enjoyed his time with a beginner.

“Amazing. Are you sure you have never had sex before?”

“You don't have to try to not hurt my feelings.” She said pushing him playfully away from her. He laid next to her staring at the ceiling.

“I don’t.” He looked at her direction with a smile. “You did well sweetheart.” He caressed her hair with his palm.

“I’ll go take care of myself for a second. You can stay here and rest.” She watched him go to the room attached to the one they were in.

“Did I really do this?” She wondered. It felt better than what she had expected, and Jungkook … he was so gentle and caring. She heard the sound of water in the other room. Was he taking a shower? She looked at herself. She needed a shower too. They got pretty steamy after all. Turning around she saw a stain on the white sheets.

“Oh, no!” The sheets were now covered in bright red blood. The pain wasn’t terrible and she didn’t think she had bled. How was he going to react when he sees it? She put a pillow on top of the stain, she was going to deal with this later. She got up and took her sweatshirt from the ground. It was better if she at least had something on.

Jungkook had just exited the bathroom, wearing only his boxers.

“Where are you going bub? Leaving so soon?” He said wearing a pair of sweatpants.

“No umhh... Something happened...” She said sitting on the bed, while he looked at her with concern.

She lifted the pillow covering the stain. “I am sorry.”

He looked down at the bed and let his bunny smile shine through.

“It’s okay. It’s normal to bleed on your first time. I’ll change the sheets.”

He came back after discarding the stained sheets and hugged her from behind, pulling her towards the bed.

“Isn’t our time over?” She said remembering their time limit.

“Yep.” He said simply. “My next appointment is in an hour. Wanna cuddle some more?”

“Do you do this with all your clients?”

“No, but you are a good cuddler.”

“You are good with other things too.” He said whispering in her ear. “Maybe we can try some of those textured condoms next time.”

#jeon jungkook #reader #jungkook x reader #bts #smut #fluff #oneshot #story #first kiss #first time #sex worker #jungkook is a sweetheart #shy #btsguild #bighitcity

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davidlynchschreibner · 4 years

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*Today I found this silly little story slice buried in my computer files. It was written before it was apparent Lukas was growing a beard so was fed primarily by my own feelings about the joy some trans men experience if/when we can grow facial hair. Very self-indulgent and poorly written but as our fandom has quieted recently I thought perhaps it would be a nice contribution? I don’t know. Might as well share it.

Whiskers on things other than kittens

or, David grows a beard

As the summer of his first year of film school approaches, David is immensely enjoying the dark recent addition to his jawline. He's waited so long for it to fill in fully from scattered whiskers to patches of hair to an uninterrupted band. After spending what seems an eon impatiently noting how much more he was shaving away as the months advanced now at last he can savor the fruit of his body's labor. A beard makes him feel handsome, mature, and more settled in his body than before. In comparison to other major notes in the rising chord of his transition it is a low and quiet one, yet he feels the resonance in his bones. Like all else he has worked for this with every psychologist appointment and prick of the syringe. He can allow himself to wear it proudly. Every time he catches his reflection in a mirror or window he experiences a little flare of confidence that pushes his shoulders back and lifts the corners of his mouth. Facial hair does not a man make by any means but this feels like his inner self is growing outside the skin it's been trapped in for so long. He can see the tangible evidence of his journey with all its strife and victories--- and so can the rest of the world.

He's not the only one who is pleased. Half the students in his film classes eye him appreciatively, charmed by the combination of sharpening features and warm energy. As he comes into himself his appeal increases accordingly. People have liked him in the past--- even flirted with him at times--- but he has never felt so positively noticed. After years spent compressed by his desire to not be seen he finds air fills his lungs more fully when his posture relaxes. The chitinous shell of the frightened boy he once was is fragmenting, peeling, and falling away to reveal a more fully realized young adult. Some of the girls turn a little giddy when he speaks to them and it is strange with newness but makes a flicker of pleasure spark inside him every time. Small validations fortify the foundations he is building to house him, making a place to live that he doesn’t have to run away from. He’s happy here. Matteo finds his developing reputation of resident 'hot guy' very entertaining and will tease him about his supposed powers of seduction (with occasional exaggerated displays of being effected) until David crowds into his boyfriend’s space and silences the annoying ribbing with kisses.

It's rather hypocritical of Matteo to tease considering no one is as attracted to David as he. It's of course not just the beard, as he was equally infatuated when David had gone through a period of being entirely clean shaven. But the increase in self-assurance this new look inspires does seem to drive Matteo to distraction on a regular basis. Sometimes David catches him staring openly with a hooded, enraptured expression and restless fingers. If they're alone David will tilt his head and smirk until Matteo is so flustered he has to get his hands on his boyfriend. In public, Matteo restricts himself to draping his body over David like a heavy blanket and sneaking a kiss to the newly roughened point where a pulse thrums steadily. It is not new to be so tactile in their appreciation of each other, but there is a fever in Matteo’s cheeks that rises when he observes how his boyfriend begins to show himself more openly. They never did spiral into the slow disinterest of some established relationships and it seems that will not be happening anytime soon. Matteo thinks David is the hottest guy in the world and reminds him every day in myriad ways.

The first time David finds himself unconsciously stroking his chin while he edits footage he jerks to a stop and laughs incredulously at himself. It’s a ridiculously cliche thing to do and he feels acutely embarrassed afterward. But sometimes in a moment of absent-minded contemplation his hand makes its way up. He expects Matteo to mock him for looking pretentious the first time he’s caught, but surprisingly the other boy does not. His bemused expression softens into the familiar tender smile that says ‘I love you’ without parting lips. Then he returns to his game and never mentions it after. Indeed, he seems to find the beard just as enjoyable to touch. In the mornings, when Matteo is sleep-soft and resisting attempts to wake him, he strokes the scratchy strands framing David's jaw with his fingertips. Sometimes he'll rub his cheek against the texture, affectionate and possessive as a cat. David huffs in exasperation at first but soon it becomes just another weird but endearing thing Matteo does. He never can find it in himself to reject any form of affection the other boy gives him be it a hug or a kick. Eventually he likes it so much that he wonders if he will ever decide to be bare-faced again.

One night they are lying tangled together beneath the quiet observation of the moon and David breaks the long silence to ask if Matteo likes him better with the beard. The words are drawled nonchalantly but the brittleness that dysphoria makes of his ego creaks in the undertone. He doesn’t need this sort of reassurance often, less and less as time goes on, but may always find occasions for it. The conflict between wanting to be seen this way and the worry that he lacks without makes a sharp cramp of overexertion seize in his chest. Matteo lifts his head from where it has been resting beside David’s and gazes with all the patient understanding people often don’t expect he possesses. The two of them know every dip and swell of each other’s voices now and nothing is hidden when something is not spoken. Matteo responds with quiet certainty, ‘You like you better.’ David waits, knowing instinctively that Matteo is taking time to find his words. ‘I like you most being happy however you want to be.’ Then he smiles and burrows into David’s shoulder, making stupid little grunting sounds like he’s trying to wrestle a pillow into shape. David swallows against the knot of emotion in his throat.

‘Being a man’ is a bewilderingly intricate definition unique to each person. It is not a list or a diagnosis or a quiz with an answer key. David has tried many times to articulate its broad strokes and nuances to professionals and peers alike, yet found it cannot be confined to succinct sentences. He can collect as many indicators as there are days in a year but all told it is simply that he knows he is. It only increases in complexity because he is still discovering what it means to him. No part of his body will ever make him more or less who and what he is. But there are things he grasps and holds close as affirmations. He likes expressions commonly understood as masculine and needs without negotiation to alter the shape beneath his shirts. His facial hair doesn’t make him more a man, nor a person of more worth or quality. But he feels the power of reclaiming what his first puberty tried to take away from him whenever he grooms the borders of his beard. The person reflected back at him in the mirror looks more like he feels inside. And he’s starting to really like that guy.

#druck #druck og #david schreibner #a fic #sort of #I don't know I just project my trans feelings onto David sometimes #my content

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leporellian · 4 years

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I want to know about that Mozart convo you had a few days ago! I saw the drawing but you didn't specify but I'm 99% sure it's autism related

it was on some subreddit (cringe i know but i’m really only on that site for opera gossip) where people were asking about how the whole rumor that saileri killed mozart began. thankfully i know about What Actually Went Down so here’s what happened and why people began to think that, as well as what i think (read: know) mozart actually died of (and a summary of what I answered with):

mozart was something of a workaholic. true, he may have appeared to be flippant and egotistical, but a terrible father and a childhood defined by exploitation left mozart desperate to please anyone in his path and terribly afraid of rejection. (this might have been rejection sensitive dysphoria but We Don’t Know.) mozart believed that the only way to please people was through his work, and so, he worked tirelessly at his music. he caught an unknown illness around the october/november of 1791, but instead of having it treated he ignored it and continued working. this illness more or less lead mozart to run too much in parallel and work himself to death- even as he died he was still composing.

naturally, a composer dying at 35 in the prime of his life is an Interesting Topic of Conversation, and so rumors spread about it like wildfire. the most prominent of these that’s stuck to this day was that antonio saileri, another composer, killed mozart. obviously, salieri didn’t kill mozart. they were, while rivals in the early 1780s, eventually colleagues and even close friends, who actively supported and loved each other’s works. so why did people blame salieri in particular? well, german music students and italian music students hated each other at the time, and naturally they all knew mozart was german/austrian and that salieri was italian. so the german music students had an idea: make the italians look bad by saying salieri killed mozart! and so it spread.

the rumor didn’t actually get to salieri until 3 decades later, when the dude was old and mentally unwell. the revelation that people thought he killed his friend wrecked salieri, and led him to have multiple nervous breakdowns. after this, salieri hit his head particularly hard and also developed dementia, leading his mental state to become so fried he claimed the rumors were true and that he really did kill mozart.

a few days before his death, however, salieri briefly became lucid long enough to tell the truth: he had nothing to do with mozart’s passing, and that the rumors came out of spite. and so, salieri’s story ended.

then alexander pushkin, noted russian poet, came on the scene and saw the rumor and was like ‘yo let’s write a play about this!’ and so Mozart and Salieri- a play about salieri poisoning mozart out of jealously and then beginning to regret it- became one of pushkin’s four little tragedies (along with, funnily enough, a play based on mozart’s don giovanni), which made people interested in the rumor all over again.

and it was that play that inspired the movie amadeus, which immortalized salieri’s supposed killing of mozart in popular culture.

people were asking me questions on mozart from this Measured Response, which included:

- “why weren’t u there” - “did mozart have tourettes” (i’m really sure he didn’t, but there’s like a 98% chance he was autistic. he might have also had adhd but i’m less sure on that. note that i’m not a psychologist i just know a lot abt neurodivergence bc i had to research it to know why tf i am like this) - “did beethoven write about salieri going insane in his diary” (yes) - “what’s the deal with mozart being austrian/german” (they meant the same thing at the time, more or less. german people really want mozart to be german and austrian people really want him to be austrian. heated debate. i have never understood it either) - “how did he think he was the hottest shit on earth but was also a people pleaser” (That’s Gifted Kid Syndrome, Babey!) - “was mozart successful when he died” (yes because people really liked the magic flute for some weirdass reason)

and that was The One Time My Knowledge On Mozart And Salieri Will EVER Be Somewhat Useful lmaooo

#mozart

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fatchange · 5 years

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How to Talk to a Climate Change Denier

I love the winter season. The cool crisp air, the misty mornings, my warm bed. The problem is that winter is becoming a thing of the past, as our planet faces neverending summers. As I write this post, the Antarctic is 65º F (18.33º C). This is the hottest temperature ever recorded. As a mother, it's tough to accept what my kids will face. At this point we need ALL HANDS ON DECK. We have less than 10 years to slow down the cataclysmic effects of climate change. So how do we talk to climate change deniers and win them over?

Despite all of the evidence, there are people who don't believe human activity (burning of fossil fuels, which creates excessive greenhouse gas) causes of climate change. They're at our dinner tables, at work, at school, and on Facebook. They're our friends, family, acquaintances, pastors, coworkers, or teachers. They may share our concerns about extreme weather events, but they don't accept the science of climate change.

We Need All Hands on Deck.

They come up with the strangest reasons why climate change isn't happening or it's a hoax. Some extremists believe it's a plot by the Illuminati to depopulate the earth. A close relative of mine believes that the governments of the world are secretly geo-engineering extreme weather events to lower the population. Here are a few of the statements I've heard.

"The weather changes all the time. There's no way to predict if the earth will continue to warm."

"Human history is a few thousand years, the world is billions of years old, we can't possibly know the weather patterns from thousands of years ago."

"The scientists claimed the earth was cooling in the 1970s, now they say it's warming."

"The earth is in a natural cycle of warming. Humans have no control over it and we can't do anything about it."

"The sun is getting warmer and producing more heat, thereby heating the earth more."

"The magnetic poles are changing, which increases the heat."

"Only God can change the climate. The end times are near."

RELATED CONTENT: 13 Things We Can Do Today About Climate Change.

Yes, these are REAL responses I've personally received when discussing the realities of climate change. There's a reason why these statements exist. Similar to the tobacco industry in the mid-20th century, the oil and gas industry came up with plan to seed doubt about the causes of climate change and they were very successful.

We are all products of our environment and the communities we live in. I'm not better than anyone else. I just woke up from 'The Matrix' a little earlier. We're dealing with a misinformation campaign on a massive scale, such as forming "scientific" advisory committees, writing papers, utilizing conservative media to deliver talking points, and buying off lawmakers.

How to Talk to a Climate Change Denier (and win them over)

1. Don't Insult Them

...because they don't believe the causes of climate change.

If you want to convince someone of your point, don't insult their intelligence, talk down to them, or call them names. Insulting someone will immediately put them on the defensive (and rightfully so). Psychologists have determined that our brains interpret humiliation as physical pain. This is a profound point. If we are publicly called out and told "YOU'RE WRONG" our brains react as though we are in physical pain. From an evolutionary perspective, humans along with other species instinctively avoid pain.

Humans are hard-wired to double down on our own point or run away even if we're wrong because admitting that we are wrong hurts. You can apply this to many other things, like politics, medical decisions, and conspiracy theories.

If We Are Called Out Publicly Our Brains React as Though We Are in Physical Pain.

That doesn't mean we can't speak truth to misconception. We can and we should. We can speak in an assertive, tactful manner that doesn't denigrate or humiliate, yet shows our authority to speak on this subject.

RELATED CONTENT: See how to Lower Your Household Emissions Instantly

2. Stick to the Facts

Present Climate Change Data.

Learn the basics of the causes of climate change, climate change data, and greenhouse gas emissions. Here are the facts about climate change from NASA, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), and the scientific community:

Skeptics are correct with regard to human history, but they are not correct with regard to measurement. Central Greenland ice-core records provide paleoclimatic temperatures dating back hundreds of thousands of years.

"Scientists have evaluated all-natural forcings and factors capable of driving the Earth's climate to change, including orbital (Milankovitch) and solar forcings, and it is only when the anthropogenic forcing is included that the observed modern warming can be explained."

"Scientists have also quantified the warming caused by human activities since preindustrial times and compared that to natural temperature forcings."

"The Earth's climate only changes in response to warming or cooling forcings. No known natural forcing fits the fingerprints of observed warming except anthropogenic greenhouse gases."

"Changes in the sun's output falling on the Earth from 1750-2011 are about 0.05 Watts/meter squared. By comparison, human activities from 1750-2011 warm the Earth by about 2.83 Watts/meter squared (AR5, WG1, Chapter 8, section 8.3.2, p. 676)."

"What this means is that the warming driven by the GHGs (greenhouse gasses) coming from the human burning of fossil fuels since 1750 is over 50 times greater than the slight extra warming coming from the Sun itself over that same time interval. Models use the physics of our world with data from empirical measurements and scientific observations serving as initial starting parameters."

"CLIMATE CHANGE IS A FACT, BASED ON DATA AND EQUATIONS. It’s science (not politics). The human-causation of the current observed warming over the past half-century is well-documented and well-established and is uncontroversial in a scientific sense."

"In comparison, there has never been a period in the last 2,000 years when temperature changes have been remotely as fast and extensive as in recent decades. The difference between the two is stark. By the mid-20th Century, global temperatures had exceeded those of the Medieval Warm Period and global temperatures have significantly warmed even more, since."

"The effects of global warming on the timescale of human lifetimes are irreversible, are happening now and will continue to worsen in decades to come: 'The removal of human-emitted CO2 from the atmosphere by natural processes will take a few hundred thousand years (high confidence). Depending on the RCP scenario considered, about 15 to 40% of emitted CO2 will remain in the atmosphere longer than 1,000 years. This very long time required by sinks to remove anthropogenic CO2 makes climate change caused by elevated CO2 irreversible on human time scale. {Box 6.1}'”

"But it IS stoppable. Recent public discussions of '12 years' (now 10 years) point to having a limited window before some of the worst effects of global warming and climate change become locked-in. In reality, the effects are a continuum and many things like ice sheet mass losses and subsequent sea-level rise will still occur for centuries and millennia to come, due to the human burning of fossil fuels to date. But just as when you're in a well that the stoppage of digging makes the well stop getting deeper, so too is it true that time yet remains to make a difference, for those generations yet to come."

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3. Make it Personal

Connect the realities of climate change to their daily lives.

Stop posting pictures of polar bears. It's sad, but the unfortunate truth is that discussing the plight of the most climate-vulnerable animals, like polar bears, does not have the effect we intend it to. So what does have an effect?

The Australian wildfires were horrific. The sight of wildfires destroying an entire continent resonated with people because it was PERSONAL. Seeing people running toward the beach for sanctuary with red skies in the background was PERSONAL. Watching kind souls rescue koalas from burning alive was PERSONAL. People lost their homes and their lives. One billion animals were lost. That figure is mind-boggling. I still can't fathom it.

People Losing Their Homes is Personal.

In the United States, midwesterners are experiencing historic floods, 20-year rains are happening every year, some areas are in severe drought, the southeast is getting hurricanes no one has ever seen before. This is real and it's happening right now.

Lastly, the elephant in the room is PHYTOPLANKTON. Phytoplankton produce about 60% of the planet's oxygen. There's already some indication that warming oceans are killing phytoplankton. What happens when 60% of our oxygen goes? It won't be sea-level rise that kills us. It will be oxygen deprivation. THAT'S PERSONAL.

4. Accept Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is real y'all and we all have it.

So what is cognitive dissonance? It's a psychological theory first investigated by Leon Festinger. Festinger discovered that people are prone to have "conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors" to reduce their own discomfort. In simple terms, we know something intellectually, but we reduce the importance of that belief to relieve our psyche. We find ways to justify behaviors, instead of acknowledging it.

The Scientific Community Needs to Communicate More Than Just Science.

We all do it, to various degrees. We don't exercise when we know we should, we smoke, we lie, we buy $5 shirts made in sweatshops, we buy meat from animals kept and slaughtered cruelly, we buy SUVs despite the environmental cost.

Our own death is the ultimate cognitive dissonance. We all know that we're going to die, but we don't want to acknowledge it. YES, I JUST WENT THERE. It's uncomfortable right?

So what does cognitive dissonance and climate change have in common? We know that 90%+ of scientists agree that climate change is happening and the causes of climate change are from human activity. The remaining scientists who dispute climate change typically work for the oil and gas industry. Yet, depending on one's belief system they will doubt this consensus.

A 2012 study suggested that the scientific community needs to communicate more than "scientific evidence." "It also has to create a climate of deliberations in which no group perceives that accepting any piece of evidence is akin to betrayal of their cultural group.”

5. Find What You Agree On

Even if someone cannot be convinced about the causes of climate change, they typically do agree on something.

Our current culture is TOO disposable. Remind people of how our grandparents lived (minus the racism and sexism of course). My grandmother cleaned up messes with cloth towels, put bread in the freezer, and mended her clothes. Most people can relate to this and agree that reusables are better than disposables.

People have an idealized view of what life used to be like in the mid-20th century. Before the United States Environmental Protection Agency (U.S. EPA) was created, pollution was legal. You can see these vintage photos of what the United States looked like before pollution was regulated. It's important to remind people that the good ole' days weren't necessarily good.

EVERYONE wants clean water, clean air, and good food to eat. THIS IS COMMON GROUND.

Remind people of what their children and grandchildren will face when they're gone. We all want our children to have a better life than we did.

Appeal to their religious or intellectual beliefs. As a Christian, I believe God has charged us to be good stewards of his creation. This is a value that people from various backgrounds share.

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6. Discuss What They Can Do as Individuals for Climate Change Mitigation

When someone talks about systemic change (change on governmental or corporate levels) people's eyes glaze over. In public administration, climate change is what's known as a "wicked problem." Theorists Horst Rittel and Melvin M. Webber first used the term "wicked problem" to refer to problems that were unsolvable, hard to define, unique, lack criteria. The list goes on. Thnk world peace, hunger, poverty, and now...climate change.

People want to know WHAT THEY CAN DO as individuals to help. We can control our behavior as individuals easier than we can solve "wicked problems." Ultimately the only way we will slow down climate change will be at the governmental level through voting for climate-friendly candidates, running for offices ourselves, and supporting policies for renewable energy.

However, getting people to acknowledge their part in the climate crisis is the first step to systemic change. Listed below are 16 things we as individuals can do to mitigate climate change.

The biggest thing people can do is VOTE. Vote for candidates who will fight for environmental protections (regardless of affiliation). Did you know that many environmentalists don't vote? If you are privileged enough to live in a democracy please VOTE and donate to a politician who will fight against climate change.

CONSUME LESS. "72% of global greenhouse gas emissions come from household decisions, including mobility (especially using cars and planes), diet (especially meat and dairy consumption), and housing (heating and cooling, and electricity consumption)." --Guardian 06/29/2019

EAT LESS BEFF & DAIRY. "Meat and dairy with other agricultural practices, such as fertilizer, and land-use changes, such as deforestation and soil disruption"...generate more greenhouse gas emissions than the entire European Union. --Forbes 04/04/2019

FLY LESS. "A one-way flight across the Atlantic from New York City to London emits one ton of carbon dioxide per passenger. Aviation emits about 860 million metric tons of carbon dioxide every year, or about 2 percent of total global greenhouse gas emissions." --Vox 09/27/2019

PLANT A GARDEN. During World War II they had victory gardens. Throughout history people have had potager (kitchen) gardens on small patches of dirt, in a pot on their window sill, or on their porch. Growing your own food (however small) will lower your disposable plastic waste.

LISTEN TO INDIGENOUS VOICES. Indigenous people were the first environmentalists. All over the planet they are fighting against the fossil fuel industry. From the Amazon to the Australian outback to Standing Rock to Hawaii. Support indigenous voices on social media and donate (no amount is too small) to help their cause (which is your cause too). Visit Indigenous Environmental Network.

WATCH OUT FOR GREENWASHING AND SAVE YOUR MONEY. Biodegradable products are problematic. There is a distinct difference between biodegradable and compostable. Compostable means an organic product can be broken down in the environment when exposed to certain factors and oxygen flow.

DRIVE LESS. "A typical passenger vehicle emits about 4.6 metric tons of carbon dioxide per year." Combine errands to make car trips more efficient. Remove excess weight from your car and use cruise control. --US EPA

MANAGE YOUR FOOD WASTE. If food waste was a country it would be the 3rd largest greenhouse gas emitter on the planet. One-third of all food produced in the world for human consumption never reaches the consumer’s table. Learn how to manage your leftovers properly with some tips from the U.S. EPA. Here is a food waste tool kit to help lower your food waste in your home and community. If you have space to compost consider learning about composting.

SAY NO TO FAST FASHION. "The apparel and footwear industries together account for more than 8% of global climate impact, greater than all international airline flights and maritime shipping trips combined." Buy secondhand clothing or from ethical/fair trade manufacturers. --CBS News 04/19/2019

JOIN A BUY NOTHING OR GIVE AND TAKE FACEBOOK GROUP. A buy nothing group is a hyper-local group focused exclusively on the barter economy. Members give secondhand items away or receive them. ⁣The Buy Nothing Project has local chapters all over the world. Visit buynothingproject.org.

ADOPT ENERGY EFFICIENCY MEASURES. Energy efficiency is the cheapest and easiest way to lower emissions because saving energy is more efficient than making new energy. Change your 5 most used light bulbs with ENERGY STAR models. Learn all about adopting energy efficiency measures here.

DIVEST YOUR FUNDS FROM OIL & GAS COMPANIES. This may be a tough sell to a climate change denier, but give it a go anyway! Oil and gas companies are the biggest polluters in the world. Many are investor-owned. These corporations have known about climate change for decades. Yet they have funded and promoted climate change denialism. Go to gofossilfree.org to learn how to divest your funds.

LOWER DISPOSABLE PLASTIC USAGE. Recycling isn't on this list for a reason. Recycling is a failed concept that gives consumers a false sense of security. Most disposable plastic thrown in the recycling bin is never recycled. Instead of recycling, lower your disposable plastic usage. "Plastic contributes to greenhouse gas emissions at every stage of its lifecycle." --Guardian 05/15/2019

GO ZERO WASTE. Don't let the title fool you, there is no such thing as zero waste. Even the most ardent zero wasters produce waste. Zero waste is about conscious consumption and lowering your individual waste stream. It is an old concept and the way people lived for centuries before consumerism exploded in the mid-20th century.

REFUSE, REDUCE, REUSE, REPAIR, REPURPOSE, ROT, and RECYCLE. The first mantra of zero waste is to refuse. Is there something you have been purchasing that can be purchased in sustainable packaging, can you make it yourself, or go without it? CARDBOARD and ALUMINUM are typically better than plastic.

Compost food scraps. Organic material in landfills creates methane, which is a greenhouse gas. If you don't have access to composting, plan out your meals by inventorying your pantry, refrigerator, and freezer.

7. Discuss the Positives

Renewable energy can bring jobs and economic prosperity.

Depending on someone's circumstance, they may have different motivations and ways of helping the cause. Finding what motivates people is key. I would highly recommend the books 'Switch' and 'Microtrends.' 'Switch' explains how we can make dramatic changes to our communities with little to no resources or authority, by "directing the Rider, motivating the Elephant, and shaping the Path."

Direct the Rider - The Rider is our RATIONAL SIDE. Motivate the Elephant - The Elephant is our EMOTIONAL SIDE. Shape the Path - BUILD A PATH TO SUCCESS.

We need to have a vision of the future to promote it to others. What do people want? A peaceful life, with prosperity, and safety. If we can have renewable energy for the same price as fossil fuels isn't that a great idea? Windmills, solar panels, carbon sequestration, and biomass are the future. Clean energy needs workers. Clean energy can bring prosperity to areas hit hard by plant closures.

It's hard to think about prosperity when basic needs aren't being met. Rent is too high, food is expensive, and they don't have healthcare or are underinsured. Supporting policies that benefit working people such as access to affordable healthcare, parental leave, and livable wages will help people envision a better future for their lives and their children. It's hard to focus on climate change when you're behind on your bills and living hand to mouth.

I hope you've enjoyed the 7 Ways to Talk to a Climate Change Denier. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please share with me in the comments or on Instagram.

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#climate change #climate crisis #Climate emergency #climate activism

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