#hoping there will be some response here but i know im not at all involved in the fandom so its unlikely to get a lot of engagement

[deansnotstraight]

Bucky Barnes fic recs request

I really don't post about avengers in general/winter soldier in particular like, at all, despite the fact that that is very much my primary fandom in terms of fics read? so uh.

in honor of the anniversary does anyone have any bucky recovery fics to recommend? I have been reading so many lately and its getting harder to find new ones. And by new ones i mean stuff i havent read i am very happy to read stuff from when the movie came out. Things I like:

long as fuck - the more slowburn the recovery process the better. (dont care about the romance, doesn't even have to be a ship fic really tho Steve does have to be like. there.)

Bucky has a dissociative disorder or something approaching that. doesn't have to have a fractured personality or sense of self (though he can!), the important thing is like. a sense of disconnect from being a person or having emotions or whatever else.

if characters use therapyspeak its because they like. learned that. and the narrative recognizes that that isn't just the default language everyone uses for emotions.

Jewish Bucky

If Sam is present he has a personality and motivations of his own beyond just The One With His Shit Together Who Is Very Helpful And Nice.

the more of these things the better it doesnt have to have all of them tho. AUs are totally fine if they do have these traits.

I find fics primarily through searching AO3, so if you figure i must have read something because its so well known please mention it anyways! thank you in advance!!! I can also post the things i have read and enjoyed lately if anyone is interested.

[yueebby]

Ok so this is a random and weird scenario i thought of after watching some INTERESTING videos on YouTube, I know but I just need to tell someone(it involves lovesick!Gojo- and no this isn’t a request, more like a rant😭)

imagine- it’s summer and all the second year students are sweating and want something cool to eat. Satoru randomly brings in a watermelon and challenges the others to try and open it without any cursed energy or a knife, just pure raw strength. Nobody can do it except him and he laughs a bit before reader crushes the watermelon between her thighs and opens it just like that…IDK Y I THOUGHT OF THIS AND IDK HOW HE WOULD REACT TO THAT BUT I IMAGINE HE WOULD BE RED IN THE FACE AND LIKE ‘me next🙋‍♂️’ IM SRY IM AWARE THIS IS VERY WEIRD😭😭

2:35pm — gojo satoru

synopsis. a certain challenge makes gojo go feral for you

contents. fluff, CRACK, lovesick!gojo, he is (highkey) a pervert, everyone in jujutsu tech is sick of him

“The one and only Gojo Satoru is here to save the day~” The familiar drawl of a sing-song voice calls over the sound of the dingy fan that you and Shoko were huddling in front of. Both of you were sprawled on a tatami mat with the door wide hoping, hoping to catch a gust of wind.

The grin adorned on his face didn't falter when his only response was three annoyed groans.

“It is way too hot for your antics Gojo,” You look up from the fan to half heartedly glare at the white haired boy in front of you. He stares at you, blue eyes slightly wider than usual before he gulps. You brush it off, knowing that you probably looked like a mess, considering you had just finished training in the sweltering Tokyo heat.

Your usual uniform is long gone, replaced with the dress shirt that you wear below it. Even with the undershirt and your skirt, you’re still suffering from the particularly hot day, skin glowing in the sun as a silent testament.

Gojo is forcibly kicked out of his trance upon Suguru harshly bumping shoulders with him.

“Show them what we got,” Suguru’s smooth voice says. Your eyes follow down to whatever he was referring to.

Without any difficulty, Satoru holds up a large watermelon proudly. Your mouth nearly waters at the sight of the large green fruit. How refreshing!

“Ah you didn’t have to go through the trouble after your mission, Suguru!” You leap from your spot, a bright smile painting itself on your face.

The pleased look on Satoru’s face turns sour. “I was the one that brought the watermelon?” He lifts the large fruit, flexing the muscles that were showcased from his dress shirt being cuffed up to his forearms.

“I should be the one getting the thanks, it was my idea to get it in the first place,” Shoko wraps an arm around your shoulder.

The taller boys in front of you look sheepishly away under her stern gaze.

You wrap an affectionate arm around her, “You’d make a good wife one day Shoko.”

Gojo’s jaw drops incredulously, leaning closer into your face, “What about me? [Name]! Wouldn’t I be a good doting husband too?”

You lean away, flustered at his sudden confrontation. His intense blue orbs never leave your face, expectantly waiting for an answer.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Shoko snorts, shielding you from his heavy gaze. “Anyways, how are we going to cut this thing? You brought a knife didn’t you?”

…

There is a long silence shared between the four of you.

You think you see an irk mark appear on Suguru’s forehead.

“I clearly told you to bring a knife from the kitchen,” Suguru snaps his head to his white haired counterpart.

“Must’ve slipped my mind, heh,” Satoru whistles. “We can just break it ourselves, no?”

TEN MINUTES LATER—

“Ready,” Satoru’s smile grows wide. “Go!”

You watch expectantly as Shoko’s hand descends onto the watermelon in a swift chop. To your shock, the watermelon stays unharmed despite the legs of the wooden table below it creaking loudly.

“Wha–?” She furrowed her eyebrows.

Satoru shrugs, “Better stop smoking and start training. You’re falling behind~”

You and Geto have to hold Shoko back from lunging at the smug white haired bastard.

“Next challenger, step up!” Satoru announces.

Fueled with hunger and the desire to get your hands on the juicy watermelon that awaits, you sit down on the cement floor of the school with the watermelon in your lap.

You gently place the fruit in between your thighs, inhaling slowly.

Squish!

The watermelon breaks in half with a crunch.

“Oh,” You blink in shock, surprised that your plan managed to work. “I did it.”

Your joy is short lived when you realize that your legs are sticky as a result of the juices of the fruit. A sheepish smile makes its way onto your lips.

“Gah–?!” Gojo chokes on air as he watches your thighs glisten with the sunlight. Though his mouth is agape, no words seem to escape. He’s nearly certain that the heat rushing throughout his body is not from the sun.

Shoko whistles, squatting down to eye level with your thigh to assess the damage done. She gives your thigh a good squeeze, “Nice legs.”

You’re too flustered to hear Gojo growl from just a couple of feet away at Shoko’s shameless attempt at flirting.

“My face next.”

extras:

- the only reason why satoru forgot to get a knife was because he was practically skipping to you once he got through the gates of jujutsu tech. suguru was nice enough to spare these details from you.

- despite all sorcerers being able to detect cursed energy, gojo satoru is pretty exceptional, being able to mask his cursed energy usage. that, and you were too tired to even notice it. (he lightly coated the watermelon right when each person went up to break it. suguru noticed immediately, but wanted to see how the prank would play out).

[the--rebel--fae]

ME ME FIRST IM FIRST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALASTOR X FEM READER WHO LIKE A HOUSEWIFE IN THE HOTEL AND TAKES CARE OF NIFTTY AND CHARLE AS IF THEY WERE HER AND ALASTOR CHILDREN

A/N: You my friend, caught my attention first because of such an adorable response. So ask and ye shall receive! Here's hoping I do Alastor justice.

(This is an adorable request btw)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Reader

Tw: None! Just pure fluff!

Word count: 745

The Hazbin Bunch

Ever since you came to the Habin Hotel, it felt like everyone was a little family. You were an older demon, having died back in the forties. So you have been in hell for quite some time. 

When you first saw the TV commercial you wanted to see what it was all about. Especially since you heard that your old friend Alastor was involved. You haven’t seen him in years. Seven to be exact. And to know that he was back sent butterflies in your stomach. You never told him, but you always harbored feelings for the eccentric radio host. You never had the guts to tell him though since you feared messing up your friendship.

Little did you know, he had feelings for you as well. Alastor was already intrigued with you when you first met. Just the way you carried yourself and treated others. It was also a plus that you hated that infernal TV just as he did. Plus, you were a great conversationalist and probably the only one who could keep up with him when you had the time to dance.

Soon enough, Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, Nifty, and even Sir Pentious became family to you. Almost as if they were your children. 

“Nifty my dear, if you truly want to kill those little bugs I suggest you swing your knife in a diagonal direction instead of a perpendicular. That way, they have less of a chance to escape.” You told the little red-headed cyclops girl as she chased around a few stray roaches.

Nifty paused briefly and looked up at you from your seat at the bar. “Ooh! That’s a great idea! Less chance for them to escape hehe.” She giggled creepily and then started back on her roach hunt. 

You shook your head and smiled fondly at the girl. Then turning back to Husk you regarded him with a warm smile. “Well, since I’m here I mine as well indulge in a small drink. What do you have in mind for me today Husk? I do so love the different drinks you concoct. If you worked at a bar back in my days on Earth, you’d be regarded as an artist.”

Husk chuckled as he started up your drink. “Weren’t you alive durin’ prohibition times though?”

You just waved your hand nonchalantly. “Ah, semantics. Besides, you know what they say. Nothing fun ever comes from following the rules.”

“How right you are Cher! Why if people followed the rules, things would be so terribly boring.” Alastor said as he popped out from seemingly nowhere.

Husk handed you your drink and you smiled as you took a sip. “Oh, hello Al. How was the radio show today?”

Alastor’s eyes lit up and his smile shone brightly. Most people would find it off-putting but you personally loved it. “It went splendidly, my dear! Thank you for asking.”

You were about to say something more, but then Charlie came down the main stairs drawing your attention. “Charlie, my dear! How are you, sweetie? Do you feel any better since the latest meeting with that infernal angel? Ad-what’s his name? The first man, I guess?”

Charlie met your gaze and smiled. “I’m doing a little bit better (y/n), thanks. But you don’t have to worry so much. That meeting was a month ago!’

You just chuckle. “That may be so, but I can tell how stressed you’ve been hun.”

Angel Dust clicks his tongue as he takes a seat beside you. “You know toots, sometimes it seems like you're the mom of this place with how ya act.” He then glanced at Alastor who unbeknownst to you was gazing fondly at you. “An if you're the mother of this joint, that’d make ol smiles here the dad.”

“Haha! You know, that doesn’t sound too bad Ma Cherie. I’d consider myself lucky to be assumed to be your husband.” Alastor said as he put a hand on your shoulder.

Instead of commenting, you could only blush furiously. Feeling the heat crawl all the way up to your ears, you tried your best to compose yourself and hide your growing smile behind your glass. Almost hoping that Alastor didn’t catch how much his comment made your long-dead heart soar. But he was no fool, he could see that beautiful smile of yours even as you tried to hide it behind the crystalline glass. 

Perhaps you truly were like a little family after all. 

Hope you enjoyed the story my friend! I gotta say, this was an adorable request. I had a lot of fun with it!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several page long one shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

[yok00k]

coming down

pairing: non-idoloc! x idol!jk

genre: angst

“i always want you when i’m coming down”

sypnosis: although you sleep next to jungkook every single night, it feels like you’re million miles away from him.

wordcount: around 1,000

warning: in 1st pov, it’s a little sad (for me), open ended ending, one sided love, allusion of cheating, oc’s world revolves around jk (don’t be like her)(lowkey im her), toxic relationship, lack of communication

author’s note: this did not go as I initially planned help-_- i was gonna make light jealousy oc/jk drabble idk how I ended up with this. i hope yall sob w/ me or lmk ur thoughts

an absolute ideal.

his performance. the concept. the way he sang his new released songs flawlessly. how smooth his dancing movements were. how the stage composition and development were so sumptuous.

and most importantly, how romantic the live performance was, given the fact that there was an actress involved in the show.

calling Jungkook an amazing artist would be an understatement. He’s creative, unique, and original in his masterpieces. Everything he does, no matter what, is just mesmerizing and astounding. He’s indeed a true performer.

Jungkook dedicated several months to work on his solo album. The time and effort he had put to his work is just admirable. On most days, he stays up late, trying to come up with so many possible ideas and options he can add on his album.

and I was there by his side. I chose to be.

I was there, waiting for him to come home every single night, or usually midnight, in our noiseless living room, wrapped with a thick blanket and loneliness. He would arrive home, but as night by night goes, I was accompanied by nothing but solitude. it feels like it’s taking over me.

I was there, in bad days where Jungkook is focusing on the negatives and having doubts in himself. Days where his standards for himself weren’t being met. both of my shoulders were closely next to him if he needed something to lean into. Reminding him that it’s okay and he’s doing wonderful.

I was there, even in times when he didn't want or need me to be there. times where he just wanted to be by his own with no distraction. but here I am, continuously showing him my undying love and support for him.

I chose to stay there. on nights where he stopped saying “i love you” back before going to dreamland. I hugged him closer as I convinced myself to believe that he just didn’t feel like saying those three words at those moment because of all the stress he undergoes through day to day.

I gave all of myself, I’ve done my part as his other half. Just like how Jungkook produces his works, I poured all my love and time to him, leaving not a thing for myself. It sounds foolish, but that’s just how I love

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

we’re both lying on the massive bed, only inches apart from one another’s body yet it feels like he’s millions of miles away from me as I stare at his cold, broad back that’s facing me.

I’ve got to used to this upsetting scenario at this point but that doesn’t mean it hurt less.

The whole bedroom feels chilly. I’m freezing, solely due to the fact that his warm arms weren’t wrapped around me like they used to be. as i’m not hearing his snores, I know that he’s still awake

“Do you still love me?” I manage to ask out loud and clear, immediately regretting the words that came out of my mouth even though it’s simply an inquiry.

a question that’s been going around my head for quite some time now. a question that i’m afraid to know the answer to because his response might be the response my heart doesn’t wish to hear or else it will shatter into millions of pieces.

my hope for an answer rapidly decreased as seconds went by filled with silence. The absence of noise that surrounded me was deafening; abundantly mocked the emotions I was feeling at the moment, screaming at me that my feelings didn't matter.

It's alright.

I did nothing but wipe the single tear that uncontrollably rolled down my cheek.

it’s stupid. I should’ve just kept it to myself. maybe that would be less embarrassing. less problematic. less painful than I was feeling minutes ago.

I turned my back against his as I accepted my defeat. maybe I’m just tired. maybe drifting to sleep will make me feel okay although I know deep inside that I won’t take the pain away. this is not some type of feeling i’m unfamiliar with to begin with.

I shut my eyes, as I try to put myself to sleep. but in that process, i felt his body moving, turning around, and finally snakes his warm arms around me. a pair of arms, the same ones I longed for so many nights.

“____, why would you ask that?” he giggly asked, sounding like he just heard a silly question. as if i was just being clingy and wanted some piece of his attention.

‘because i don’t feel like you love me anymore’

the man waited for a response, waiting to see if I was just fooling around or that was really genuine. the noiselessness, just like all times, answers the question we both interrogate to each other.

the heavy feelings just got worse, if not heavier. even so when he talks more. “i won’t be laying next to you if i wasn’t.” as if that makes me feel better.

indeed, he’s physically here by my side yet distant. Jungkook is so far off that I’ve lost him. numbness was all I felt as I heard his words. I couldn’t be more content now that I have my answers.

his indirect answer to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question is enough for me to know where we stand.

I can’t help but to turn my body to face him, just to stare at his doe eyes that I easily get lost in due to the fact that they hold thousands of stars, if not a whole world in them.

regretfully, my eyes should’ve just maintained contact with doe-like eyelids. but rather, they drop their focus on the side of his neck, detecting a foreign lipstick shade that he might have forgotten to wipe off. a shade that will be tattooed in my brain and will forever hate.

Inhale. Exhale. I chose to shrug it off, bringing my attention back to his worn out face.

“I love you” truthfully and whole-heartedly confessed to him once more just like I always do. although this was a little bit different because I don’t expect him to say it back anymore.

and with that in mind, this was also the last night that I will to express my love for him.

[eyeheartboobiez]

-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 6!! 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗂𝗍💕

liked by bigdickgrayson, cass.cain, and others

@rred_hood: hey guys. sorry for the radio silence, but i needed some time to figure things out w/ everything that’s been going on. just to give a quick update: these past few months i’ve been working on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. mostly though, i need to re-evaluate the people i allow to be in my life vs. the people i actually want around.

as you all know, artemis and i were seen out together a couple of months back, despite our very toxic relationship in the past. i’ve mentioned her abuse towards me here and there before, but now i wanna set the record straight.

me and artemis were NEVER happy. point blank. the first few months of our relationship seemed amazing, sure, but every moment after that felt like hell on earth. im not gonna go into the specifics of her treatment towards me (bcs frankly it’s not anyone’s business but mine), but the only reason we met up last month was to hopefully make peace with what happened during the time we were together.

as for the copyright situation and my alleged involvement in it; everything will be revealed before of the judge. while im legally not allowed to speak on it at this time, i will go ahead and apologize in advance for the news you’ll be hearing in the upcoming days…

before i post this, though, i publicly want to say this: @y/nforeal im GENUINELY sorry for any of the pain or stress all of this has caused you. i betrayed your trust, and have absolutely no expectations for you to forgive me. believe it or not, every second of our time together felt like pure bliss, and you’re the last person i ever wanted to hurt. i sincerely hope that you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of in life, regardless of whether i get to be part of the journey, or have to cheer you on from afar.

to end off, anyone who really supports me knows idc to involve myself in drama, so please, all i ask is that you be patient with me as i figure out a way to right my wrongs. peace✌🏻

View all 1,521,791 comments

user1: all the jason antis looking mad goofy rn💀

⤷ user2: this man js opened up about his trauma and you’re staring fan wars… get a life fr

user3: praying for ur peace jay🙏

user4: yea enough is enough artemis need to be locked up for life

⤷ user5: matter fact, put her under the jail

user6: i just hope that y/n understands🙁

— comments were turned off —

Case Closed, Artemis Grace headed straight to the slammer! Where does this leave us now? (2/27/2023 1:42 PM PT)

From TikTok, to Instagram; almost all of social media has been flooded with people's response to the verdict of one of the biggest cases in Hollywood right now. Fans all over the internet have been posting nothing but support of the court's ruling. The hashtag "#WHOMPWHOMP" has even found itself trending on twitter in response to Artemis' behavior displayed throughout the trial.

The celeb's unsavory etiquette is nothing new though. From sobbing in the witness stand, to lashing out at her own lawyer, Artemis has shown nothing but discomposure since the day charges were pressed against her. But, for everyone new here, let's start from the beginning.

For those who may not have been keeping up with the story, back in September, acclaimed singer Y/N Y/LN took legal action against Artemis Grace on the grounds of copyright infringement. After months of speculation, investigators found that Grace had illegally distributed a song that had absolutely no business being in her possession in the first place.

Although the track was taken very favorably by fans and casual listeners alike, the actual artist was nowhere near pleased. Once sharing her feelings about the situation online, Y/N immediately put her emotions into a new album, the same album that led her to receive the first grammy of her career.

Aside from the copyright violation though, Artemis is also being sued for causing emotional distress in regards to all the drama she got wrapped up in with her ex-boyfriend, Jason Todd.

While Jason and Y/N were presumed to have been dating since March of last year (if not earlier), that fantasy was quickly ruined when Artemis and Todd were caught being uncomfortably close with each other outside of a club last August.

Of course, many fans on both sides were reasonably hurt by the news. Those who have been following Y/N for a while now may know that she has had trouble opening up to people in the past; something she has expressed quite a bit in her music. So, when word broke out that Jason seemed to be playing with her feelings, her supporters were beyond furious.

Even songwriter Cassandra Cain, Jason's adopted sister, made sure to support Y/N in every way that she could. The two have been friends for years now, having officially met back in 2020 at the billboard music awards. While Cassandra isn't a woman of many words, she made sure that her actions spoke volumes.

Late last year, she helped Y/N write one of the songs for her latest album, basically ensuring her win at this year's Grammys. Outside of music though, posts have been made by the two besties seemingly having the time of their lives.

Between the high emotions and the immense camaraderie being shown, fans have come to the conclusion that both women may have gotten together at some point while working together.

Without a doubt, there was an obvious tension between the duo while doing promotions for their shared single. Cassandra, though a notable lesbian icon in the community, has yet to speak up on the rumors (and, knowing her, probably never will).

Back to the legal proceedings, the heartbreaker in question was also present during Artemis' trial. In order to shed some light on the story, Jason Todd appeared before the court as a witness in hopes of ensuring that Y/N wins this case.

Unlike Artemis, Jason showed nothing but absolute remorse for his actions. About a month ago, the Gothamite made a post to his instagram page detailing the shame he felt by being involved in such acts, although in reality he had little participation to begin with.

While on trial, it was found that Todd actually had little to no involvement with the illegal distribution of the track. In fact, Artemis herself confessed that he only talked about Y/N having a song that was "in the works". He also revealed to her that the track was "something his girlfriend (had) dedicated it to him", thus confirming our suspicions of their relationship status.

Alongside this, she also admitted that their meet up back in August originally had nothing to do with music, nor were they trying to rekindle their disastrous affair. Jason did state that he was notably intoxicated that night, while Artemis indicated that she "hadn't had anything to drink" prior to their conversation.

In the end, after the grueling legal battle, Artemis is soon to be locked up after receiving a firm guilty ruling from the judge. The now former singer has been sentenced to three years in prison without possibility of parole, in addition to paying $25,000 as compensation for emotional distress.

Outside the courtroom Y/N and Jason were seen speaking together away from everyone else, as well as sharing a meaningful hug before parting ways. The heartwarming image that was caught by paparazzi has given shippers more than enough hope that the two celebs can hopefully rekindle the love they once had.

a/n: thoughts?

taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420 @rwylm-things @sheluvv-gambino

[kieranxvalentine]

Your Love Is My Drug [M. O'hara]

༻♡༺✎ Miguel loved you with all his heart, and he would do anything to protect your peace. ༻♡༺✎ Yandere! Miguel O'hara x SpiderVariant! Reader ༻♡༺✎ 16+ (Yandere content, mentions of bullying, manipulative tactics (not too obvious), ༻♡༺✎ 1.4k words! ༻♡༺✎ Hi everyone! Please read the little announcment at the end of my story for an update on me! Hope you enjoy! [Hasn't been proofread yet]

“Great another one…” “Does she even know the responsibilities that come with wearing the suit?” “tch..I can see her crumbling in a few days.”

Besides your friends, some of the other spider variants were less than nice to you. It didn’t help that you already kind of knew Miguel from being rescued by him when your universe had a little bit of trouble before you were bitten. He's been involved in your life before you assumed the superhero role.

You walked past the trio, only to hear them snickering at you, making fun of you.

"She's so weak, always having to depend on Miguel..~" "Tch..that's pitiful, I know he's annoyed with her." "She didn't deserve to become a spiderwoman." "She's probably sleeping with him.." "Has to be.." "There's no way he would keep her around.."

You turned on your heels and immediately went to Miguel's Office. You could feel the tears pooling up in your eyes. While yes you found yourself dating Miguel. but that wasn't why you were here.

You were here after unexpectedly becoming spiderwoman.

How he didn’t know you were going to be this universe’s spidervariant surprised you. But he kept you close, already having an unspoken bond with you that he didn’t have with anyone else.

He would ask for you to come to his office just so he could hold you, to remind himself that you were here, that you were okay. 

He knew the harshness of the outside world. You were so small compared to him, you needed him for protection, for guidance. You looked up to him. He knew your worth, it’s why he brought you here the moment he discovered you were a spider person.

The two of you spent lots of time together before you even became spiderwoman after seeing him with Jess and Peter im her universe as they chased an anomaly.

Miguel was ever present in your life after that, he felt drawn to you. He knew right then that he had to have you nearby him. 

You were addicting, you were so sweet. Always checking in on him after a rough mission, bringing him food from the cafeteria when you’d realize he hadn’t eaten. He realized he was head over heels for you. 

He had to have you.

No one else might’ve seen your worth, but he definitely did. 

He saw so much in you. He loved you with all his heart, you gave him a sense of peace that no one else had managed to since he lost his daughter. It took him a minute to admit his feelings to you. But when he did he was hooked. You were such a darling. 

He called you many pet names, sweet, cavity inducing names and he would hug you every time he saw you, no matter where he was. He needed to hug you, to hold you in his arms at least once a day to remind himself that you were his.

Miguel was protective over you, he would be by your side on missions, always calling you on your watch  to make sure you’re doing alright. He didn’t like anyone messing with you. He was your protector.

So when you came up to him with tears in your pretty (e/c) eyes, he grew concerned. He heard your sniffles that you tried to hide as you slowly made your way over to him.

His heart twisted, but he also felt anger pool up inside of him. Who dared to make you cry?..

He hopped down off his platform and walked over, cradling your face in his large hands, wiping away your tears. “What happened?’ He asked and he watched as you averted your gaze.

“Ah..Ah..Ah, look at me, Mi Vida.” He knew you wouldn’t disobey him, you were so attached to him that you wouldn’t dare disobey his orders. Your eyes slowly locked with his once more.

“S..some others..called me useless..they don’t understand why you keep me here,” You say in between hiccups as fat tears continue to roll down your cheeks and Miguel pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back in silence, allowing you to let it all out.

You knew that their words mean nothing, Miguel makes it clear that he only allows the best of the best into the Spider Society. You were consider one of them, you shouldn’t be subjected to this harsh ridicule from people, especially ones that couldn’t even do a mission by themselves without fucking up horribly.

“Mi bebé, tell me who did it, tell me who said it to you..” Miguel wasn’t asking either, he was demanding. He didn’t like seeing his little spider upset, especially by people who were supposed to respect her and treat her as an equal.

“Don’t worry, Your Miggy is going to handle it okay? Why don’t you head on home? I’ll join you after I deal with business here.”

You nodded as he placed a kiss on your forehead before kissing you once more on your lips, whispering soft nothings to you before letting you go.

Miguel watched you leave before his soft grin turned into a menacing glare. He would see personally that this bastards who dared to even speak lowly of you. 

See the thing is, Miguel twisted things a little bit, so you could be right beside him. When that canon event happened in your universe, you were supposed to die.

But he couldn’t let that happen, he’d grown attached to you, often visiting you just to calm down after a stressful day of dealing with Spider Society. He couldn’t let you leave this world like that. So he saved you, which caused a minor shift, instead of your roommate becoming a spider variant, you did. 

He then approached you with joining the spider society, and the rest of it is history..

You were all his, you depended on him and he enjoyed that.

So to have people questioning why she was here, irritated him to the fullest.

Miguel hopped back up to his platform. “Lyla. Tell those three to come to my office.”

You were cuddled up in the shared apartment you had with Miguel in his universe, you rarely went back home to your own universe as you didn’t have many friends there, and you weren’t on the best terms with your parents after they found out you were spiderwoman.

You loved being here with Miguel, it reminded you of the times you would spend together before you became a super hero. 

You jumped slightly, being so lost in your thoughts that your spider senses didn’t even recognized Miguel had come up behind you on the couch. He bent over and kissed your forehead. “Are you okay now?..” He asked and you nodded.

You allowed him to pick you up and hold you in his arms, carrying you to your shared bedroom. He wanted to cuddle with you, especially after the mess he had to clean up after confronting the three spider idiots that dared speak awful of you.

You were like a drug to him, something that calmed him when he was angry, that reminded him of a time before he had to take on such responsibilities.

He placed you on the bed, placing his head on your stomach as the two of you laid there, enjoying the silence and each other’s presence. Miguel wasn’t going to let anyone else threaten the perfect life he had built, he could see you being his wife, being the mother of his children. 

He worked so hard for you to be here with him, he was not going to let some nobodies from random universes get inside of your head and twist your little mind into thinking you were not important.

You were his drug and he would go crazy without you.

While he was laying on your stomach, he was thinking of a way to convince you to leave the spider society, that you were too precious to him, and that the stress you experience wasn't worth it.

He was ready for the conversation, and he was ready to take things into his own hands if you told him no.

Miguel doesn’t see himself as a yandere, he just sees you as his future wife, the love of his life, and someone who he wants to spend his days with.

But he is more of an Protective and Manipulative Yandere, he takes advantage of you naiveness so he could make himself look like your protector.

Oh? You say someone was mean to you? That spider variant will be removed from the spider society.

Someone calls you out your name? Ooo they better hope that they escape before he gets his hands one them.

He puts you on a pedestal, he sees you as his gateway to a life that he so desperately wants once more. Despite knowing what he did to get this.

Miguel loves keeping his eyes on you, as stated before, he had eyes on you everywhere, Lyla wasn’t just his AI assistant she was also yours. Lyla would report back to him on everything that you’ve done throughout the day, who you’ve spoken to and what universe’s you visited.

Miguel wants you to be his perfect wife, and he will do anything and everything so that he can get it. No matter what he has to do, and no matter the cost.

©kieranxvaletine 2023 <3 Hope you all enjoyed!

<3 Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this fanfic! I wanted to talk with all of you about something! As you know I'm a nonbinary creator! But recently I have discovered that I am leaning more towards the transmasc territory. I haven't told my parents and I don't think they'll understand (especially since my dad is homophobic-). I am raising money through commissions so I can prepare to get top surgery! and i can be comfortable while i do so! Feel free to share my kofi link, donate or just spread the word to help a creator out! <3 Also! Don't forget you can place requests! Especially since i plan on writing for Pokemon as well <3

Here's My Link~! Thank you! and hope that you all have a good rest of your morning/day/evening/night!

[voidedaurora]

Apologies for the ask about the 🍉 thing.

If you have a story to say you should say it, the group who made the document thought it was important to make it public. Maybe you can reach out to them if you need help. It’s never too late to share your story if you believe the person deserves to be called out.

She’s already known for lying. And she never addressed a lot of the things in the document. Like those multiple false grooming allegations. Just remember that there’s no backing out once you have it out to the public. Once on the internet always on the internet.

Hope you’re ok. Don’t be intimidated because of fans. They don’t know what you’ve gone through. You have a support group who already set the ground for you. Good luck with what you choose.

Not specifically replying to this ask but Im going to use this to say a bit of what I need to say. Follow up to my last post, Mel has made it clear that she is not going to talk to me, one of her friends dmed me (one of the two I mentioned prior) trying to get me to vc with all 3 of them to get "closure" and talk about things, this was only prompted by the fact I am now speaking out about this (clearly just trying to save face), I stayed silent for nearly 3 months giving her time to come and talk to me and it was honestly the last nail in the coffin for her to clearly only give a shit now that I'm speaking about it. So I'm done, I'm not going to keep any of her shit to myself anymore, I know I shouldn't have been keeping them to myself to begin with and I completely accept anyone who is upset at me for not speaking up sooner. Quickly, I will say that some of this I cannot provide solid proof for, you will all have to take some of this with a side of salt / use context to come to your own conclusions, but I still think its important to mention because I know what I saw and experienced, It is up to you whether you believe what I have to say or not Aswell, Some of this obviously could be wrong as she has refused to clear things up privately but I believe them to be true since I experienced what I experienced :/. I do not condone Harassment, witch-hunting, threats, attack anyone involved, or anything else of the sort You obviously may be honest about your feelings on the matter but have your morals about you when doing so. People that did not consent to being mentioned here will be censored when possible I will be reffering to Quartelz as Mel in this, just felt I'd clarify TW: S/A, Coercion, Grooming(?), General Toxicity, etc.

Firstly, To everyone who supports Mel after the google doc she "made" I've got some unfortunate news to share, She did not write that doc. Mel had quite a few of her friends at the time essentially write the entire document for her, I was one of those people. To clarify, we were not forced but since we all wanted the best for her and for her to be able to move on from it all so we all helped her. The apologies ESPECIALLY she did not write nor mean, She has stated many times to me personally that everyone did not deserve an apology, I will provide some screenshots backing up these claims below Others writing the doc/Proof I can edit the original doc (the public document was moved into a fresh file because I suggested it)

Proof of Mel being an unapologetic asshole about the whole thing (sorry for the rudeness) Her saying "how to write an apology I don't mean" which Is pretty self explanatory, Included more context of the convo so she cant scream at me for not, AS you can see I was very insistent on her writing the apology because I did think they all deserved one, aswell me saying "I'd write it for her but that'd "I would literally write the apology for u but that'd be bad" Which is bad on my end 100% especially because I went through with that, I accept full responsibility for that and I am sorry, you all deserved better

More apology stuff bruhh

(so sorry archi I know you are mentioned here alot but I need you for proof, If anyone attacks you I am so so sorry) Admitting the apology wasn't written by her directly + re-stating she didn't mean the apology a million times and not taking any accountability

Bonus SS of talking with one of her friends at the time about our frustrations of helping her with the doc only for her not to work on it I think that's enough proof she didn't mean a lick of that doc and didn't even write it herself, I do NOT have proof that I specifically wrote the apologies but before the doc was sent out to the public I practically rewrote entire areas to make her sound more genuine aswell fixed the entire thing up, then I had her go over it and edit it to "sound like her" Time for the next part which is one of the more serious topics within this whole thing, I initially was NOT going to bring this to the public or mention it at all since its fairly private but after thinking on it really hard ,and the fact this will never have any closure Clover and I have decided to let you all know about it, I am sure she's going to be quite upset this is public now but she shouldn't have done any of it in the first place. TW:// S/A and Coercion I don't really know how to approach talking about this but around the 30th of march 2023 (before and after) Clover, Mel, And I had all gotten pretty close as friends, This eventually evolved into us having sexual interactions with each other as a group twice. At the time we had all had lengthy conversations making sure everyone was ok with it, the whole consent protocol and such. Edit: for the record, our age differences at the time were me: 16 (10/16/2006) Clover: 17 (3/03/2006) Mel: 17 (8/30/2005) This is relevant because a while back (I am not sure when) Mel had admitted to me one day that she had only slept with Clover to do things with me. I know for a fact she will deny this. This obviously horrified me and clover both because we were under the impression it was a mutual thing between all of us, I'm sure Clover feels violated, used, and a sleuth of other things, I feel absolutely terrible about the entire thing because I was the one who had helped her feel comfortable with the whole thing in the first place and convinced her it was something mutual, and to have Mel later on admit it was not and she just wanted an excuse to do shit with me is absolutely disgusting. Clover and I are both extremely damaged from this and neither of us ever got an apology for this and probably never will, not one that she means at least, shes already proven she doesn't feel remorse for anything she does. You'd think the person that allegedly got assaulted herself and had dealt with homewrecking related things herself wouldn't do something like this but here we are. (Just clarification this was a 3 way, sorry to have to blatantly state it but I didn't want any confusion. Aswell I'd like to state for the record that the interactions happened twice total) I will not be sharing proof of any of this as it would include sharing sensitive information/conversations I don't think any of us would be comfortable being public, You may take this as you will but Clover and I both are living proof of this happening and I just hope you'll take our word for this one as it was already obvious Mel had a thing for me to literally everyone around us, I genuinely do not think I need proof to prove that part alone. There was another section I was going to add explaining another situation but I do not have enough proof gathered to speak on it at the moment so I'll keep it at these two for now. I initially wasn't going to make a big post like this but I wanted to get the stuff I know 100% out there (aswell wanted to get some of the worst out of the way :/) There is absolutely MORE I could/want to talk about but I simply do not have the context/proof to make a proper statement on it at the moment, maybe in the future I will.

also, if any of ya'll need more proof of stuff I CAN dig but I think I got it all covered? That's it for now, She's either going to deny everything, have her friends to defend her, flee the internet, or retaliate. Have a good day ya'll, I am done staying quiet for her also I'm so so sorry if this isn't written well in certain parts, I don't really know how to make stuff like this

[in1-nutshell]

IM GETTING EVERY IDEA I GOT OUT WHILE REQUESTS ARE OPEN IM SORRY

also I'm sorry i keep bringing up chaotic teen Buddy and Megatron, but i love seeing this fucker suffer through forced adoption.

I'm still kinda trucking through the comics, but i know that at some point Megatron is essentially yeeted into a whole ass different dimension and spent 300 years there (i could be totally wrong, if so ignore.) long story short, i have been stuck on the idea of Megatron getting stuck there for 300 years, mourning his funny little human child after 80 years, cause he figures even if he does get back home, they wont still be there.

Luckily for everyone involved, that 300 years was just a few months for the lost light. unluckily for everyone.

Buddy - "My father is gone, therefore I am no longer responsible for the consequences of my actions."

Hello again! Don't feel bad for asking/ requesting. Requests are fun to do for me and I can write almost anything someone asks, almost. Still, ask if you want something written. It is time for the return of Fearless Buddy!

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless Buddy reaction to Megatron coming back from the other dimension

SFW, platonic, familial, bit of angst here and there, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Buddy had conveniently slept when Megatron had left. Don't blame them, they had been running off of little to no sleep for weeks and their body finally had enough.

Rodimus had to break the news for Buddy.

"What do you mean Megatron is 'gone'?!"--Buddy

"He left, he just up and escaped! But don't worry we'll get him back on board in no time."--Rodimus

"He... He really just left?"--Buddy

"I'm afraid so."--Rodimus

"Well, you know what? Who needs him anyways! The big sorry pile of scrap can go rust in space for all I care!"--Buddy

"Buddy--"--Rodimus

"Who needs him! Thanks for letting me know Roddy, really. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some important things to go over with Whirl."--Buddy

"What important things? What could be more important than this right now?"--Rodimus

"We are going to put a bumper sticker on Minimus saying 'Kachinga'!"--Buddy

"... Carry on!"--Rodimus

Rodimus really wishes now that he had stopped Buddy from making it to Whirl's. The ship had become the two's playground for pranks and sillies.

No one was spared from their wrath.

Many bots on board got mad at the two. But it was the bots closest to Buddy to realize something was deeply troubling them.

Their enthusiasm seemed forced most of the time. Their laughter almost seemed... Robotic almost. And their eyes... they looked so hollow and lacked the usual twinkle they had before.

Whirl appointed himself Buddy's guardian in the meantime. There wasn't much argument there as being Buddy's Amica, it was probably for the best.

Whirl lost count of the amount of times he caught Buddy going into Megatron's habsuite and crying over some of his poems. He wants to hurt Megatron so badly for the pain he inflicted on Buddy. They became Rung's most frequently seen patient after talking with Whirl.

"You really think this is going to help?"--Buddy

"I'm sure of it! If Eyebrows here can stand me, then you'll be like a walk in the park!"--Whirl

"... Thanks Whirl. I mean it, you're the best Amica a friend could ask for."--Buddy

"Hey now, don't get soft on me yet. That's Rung's job. Now get in there and punch those feelings in the face!"--Whirl

The day when Megatron comes back after everything is settled Whirl is one of the first in line to deck him across the face.

"You sorry excuse of a tyrant!--"--Whirl

"I know you're upset Whirl... Buddy passing must not have been easy..."--Megatron

"Passing? What are you talking about?"--Whirl

"Surely they have already passed it's been more than 80 years."--Megatron

"Megs, it's been a couple months since your little disappearing act."--Rodimus

"...Is Buddy alive?"--Megatron

"Of course they are! Why--Hey!"--Whirl

Megatron sprinting pass him and to Buddy's habsuite.

Megatron had never sprinted as fast as he did at that moment. For the past 200 or so years he had been in a constant state of mourning. He thought he had lost Buddy forever. The biggest regret he had was not at least telling them good bye.

Now here he was... He almost backed out of knocking on the door, but he did it. The doors opened revealing Buddy in all of their morning glory.

"... Buddy?"--Megatron

"Ah man it's one of those dreams again. Listen fake Megs, I'm not in the mood right now. So if you'll just come back next week that'll be great."--Buddy

Megatron finally snapped out of his dazed and scooped up Buddy into his servos and held them close to his spark.

It took Buddy a solid second to realize this wasn't some fever dream.

"Megs?"--Buddy

"I'm here now. I'm here."--Megatron

"...How... How dare you! YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE! YOU DON'T JUST CALL SOMEONE THEIR KID THEN LEAVE THEM HIGH AND DRY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE ME?!? OR AT LEAST SAY GOOD BYE!? TELL ME! TELL ME WHY?!? DAD WHY DID... why did you leave me...*--Buddy

"...I am so sorry..."--Megatron

"...you better be... I will never leave your side again... You're worse than a toddler getting lost at a Walmart..."--Buddy

It wasn't an easy transition at first. Buddy had their friends always within arms length from Megatron. Buddy themselves put up some walls to avoid getting hurt again.

The two eventually decided to seek counseling to try and mend their relationship. Thank goodness that happened.

Now Megatron was sitting in his habsuite with Buddy telling him all the latest news on the ship while reviewing their latest poems.

These were the little things he missed most and was glad he had gotten a chance to get them back.

[invertedheaven]

If You Really Love Nothing

chapter 12: another one?

chapter index | next chapter

And when sukuna met gojo half way the handshake held more weight and tension than any conversation could.

The employee who had been trying to chat it up with gojo immediately noticed the shift in energy and made himself scarce, he could tell this was a conversation he didnt want to be a part of.

“So its been a while” gojo joked uneasy, he doesn’t know how to explain it but he could feel that his father was watching

“It has” sukuna dryly responded “figured it’d be sooner considering the brat has been hanging around you lately”

“Around megumi, not me, I hardly see him” gojo lied and shrugged as he reached for a non alcoholic drink from the tray that a waiter was holding “Hes a good kid though, not sure how you guys are related”

Sukuna smiled with a glint of irritation behind the eyes that anyone else wouldn’t have notice but gojo had the luxury of being classmates in high school with this guy so his mannerisms didn’t go unnoticed

“So you and her?” referring to you, Sukuna bit the bullet and asked because at the end of the day both him and gojo knew the conversation would end up there

“What about her” gojo didn’t take the bait though

“Just didn’t take you for a guy who would take someones leftovers” sukuna shrugged he knew the line that came out of his mouth was gross and in no way did he view you in that manner but he just needed to get a reaction out of gojo and insulting you or that black haired loser gojo used hang around would be the quickest way

“So thats what you think of her? Im sure she’d be thrilled to hear that” gojo tried to temper his attitude but sukunas comment agitated him, even if he knew it was just to get a reaction, it was working.

The immaturity sukuna was displaying made gojos stomach turn at the idea that sukuna would talk about the mother of his kid like that (sure he doesn’t know airi exists but still why would he speak about you in that manner even if it was for provocation)

“Well she’s dating you, so I’m sure shes heard worse” sukuna bit back, still not getting a direct answer

“Thats interesting for you, of all people, to say” gojo smiled with a contemptuous look on his face. Sukuna was halfway to a response before he was cut off

“So I see you two are finally having a chat” Gojo Sr. cut in conveniently at the right time to which satoru rolled his eyes

“Yes, I can see your son inherited your way with words” sukuna changed his demeanor entirely as he addressed Gojo Sr.

“I hope you mean in a good way” Gojo Sr. joked as he and sukuna laughed, Satoru stared at them with a fake smile

“Yeah, sukuna here has shown me why you both were able to come to an agreement with a deal” satoru interrupted with a cheerful tone “Certain minds think alike”

“Don’t you mean great?” Gojo sr. corrected with a playful tone that had an edge to it

Satoru hummed “no, I don’t think so”

Before gojo sr. could say anything back he was called away by his assistant and Satoru couldn’t have been more thankful, he didnt need his dad trying to get involved. The man wouldnt ever stay in conversations for long but when he did talk he was insufferable. Sukuna watched the interaction keenly, it was obvious by the way Gojo sr. spoke of his son to sukuna, that there was some level of disdain— from both father and son and the interaction only proved to be a confirmation.

“What are your intentions?” gojo finally spit out after his father was out of earshot, Sukuna gave him a look as if asking him to elaborate so gojo said your name quietly and that gained a glint of amusement from sukunas eyes

“That’s something that is none of your concern” sukuna replied smugly. Just because you’d been with gojo for the past few years doesn’t mean gojo has any right to be involved in you and sukunas business, at least thats how sukuna saw it.

“Not my concern?” gojo laughed in disbelief “You mean the same way it’s not your concern what her love life is like, right?”

Sukunas eye twitched slightly before gojo continued “if you really cared so much why didn’t you reach out to her in the months you’ve been back?” gojo was venturing into territory you would’ve smacked him over the head for but he doesn’t care he finds he genuinely needs to know what sukunas playing at

Through the years gojo has seen you pick yourself back up and piece yourself back together, constantly trying to be better. Trying to be someone without sukuna, something you hadn’t known since you started dating him so young. The very idea that sukuna could prance into your life and possibly undo all that makes gojo seethe. Gojo knows you’re an adult who can make your own decisions, he’s just looking out for you the same way he’s sure you’d look out for him if the shoe was on the other foot.

Before sukuna could even respond gojo was being called over by his father to prepare for some ridiculous speech. Sukuna is not stupid he’s aware if he screws up here with his behavior it wouldn’t look good for either company. No matter his distaste for gojo it wasn’t worth losing his job over. He kept that in mind (even if he despised gojos words) as he watched the white haired bastard walk away.

Or at least he thought but as the night went on he felt genuine disgust just being in gojos presence. Even as both father and son made decent speeches about another successful year for the company, even as gojo had the ability to work the room with literally any conversation. Nothing about it was genuine though, and it made it sukuna scowl every time he was subjected to hearing gojos bullshit in the next group over. Sukuna smirked thinking about how it looked bad on gojo considering this was supposed to be “his company” someday, yet the lack of tact was alarming.

Whatever, it wasn’t his problem, but it was truly sukunas favorite pastime to judge and criticize other peoples poor decisions. He just simply would not find himself in such ridiculous situations, he thinks, as he overhears most conversations through the night. It was all just petty drama or conversations that he considered himself above. A couple of times, rei would try to engage in conversation with him but his mind was only on you. As if fueled by his confrontation with gojo, he now swears he’ll be back with you. He doesn’t care if you and gojo are dating, he knows you still love him. You have to, right? He’s never really thought about if you don’t.

On the other side, in all honesty gojo had forgotten sukuna was there as he focused on entertaining the party. He was able to ignore sukuna for the sake of his job, something that he knew if he didn’t put his all into he’d hear it from his father later. So sure, he caves in and does what he does best— put on a show. A passionate worker that looks forward to all the great things the company has in store…bullshit. He did have changes he wanted to implement but with his father still in control of most of it, it just felt like an endless cycle of going nowhere. It wasn’t even two and a half hours into the event and gojo found a way to ease himself out of a too long conversation, as he searched for his secretary.

“Hana” gojo half shouted to her as she was enthusiastically talking with rei, she glanced over and waved at gojo

“Haven’t seen you all night, I assume its been busy” Hana joked

Rei admired Hanas ability to speak to gojo with such ease, if rei was in hanas shoes she’d be a rambling mess. Hana is aware that rei would jump at the chance to be with gojo but its simply hilarious to her because if rei really knew how gojo was, that physical attraction could only do so much for someone with a strong personality like he has.

“Yes, but im afraid I have to go” gojo made sure to sound somewhat devastated

“So early?” Hana asked with a bit of concern

“A family emergency” gojo smiled apologetically. He was flat out lying but he had every intention of getting out of this party unnoticed by his father but he figured he should at least have Hana pass the word along if she was asked.

“Oh” Hanas brows furrowed she fights the urge to ask what happened, knowing he wouldnt even tell her with this many people around “If Gojo Sr. asks ill be sure to pass your message along” Hana bowed her head slightly

And with that gojo left with a weight off his shoulders knowing he did his mandatory appearance and got away from sukuna without too much of a hassle.

————

“Okay, but we only have time for one book” you picked up airi from the living room floor, she was practically falling asleep as she was brushing her dolls hair but she insisted that she wasnt too tired for a bedtime story

“I want the one about the worm that eats too much” airi pleaded

“The caterpillar?” You asked, she couldn’t really say caterpillar at the time you bought the book so gojo told her to call it a worm and the name stuck, you really had to fix that soon

You’re not even 4 pages in and airi knocked out, still holding onto the sleeve of your sweater as you knelt on the ground next to her bed. You took in every feature of her peaceful sleeping face, she was so precious and looked so devastatingly like Sukuna, you wonder if he saw her would he figure it out without being told?

You brushed her hair out of her face as you hummed a simple song, you didn’t want to leave her yet but the sound of the front door opening caused you to rush out her room to find satoru holding a bag of takeout leaning against the door taking his tie off. He wasn’t supposed to be back this early and you bit back a comment on how he probably escaped

“Im exhausted” he moved to take his shoes off as you took the food from his hands

“Was it that bad?” You asked

“Not so much, just cant stand my old man” he waved off the subject

You nodded in understanding as you took the takeout to the dining table, megumi had retired to his room hours ago and it wouldn’t surprise you if he actually fell asleep and before you could ask gojo spoke up

“Saw sukuna”

You hummed in response

“He asked about you” gojo reluctantly admitted

Your breath got caught in your chest, quickly recovering because its embarrassing that you feel giddy at the thought of him asking about you like some idiot with a crush “about me or about if we were dating” you snap out of your hopefulness knowing Sukuna probably didn’t really care to know about you but more if you moved on, which hurts you.

“Well about if were dating but” gojo sat down at the table pulling out his food from the bag “I don’t know, I asked him what his intentions were and he told me it wasn’t my business” gojo shrugged

You rolled your eyes “hes a grown man, if he had any intentions besides being petty about the idea that I might’ve actually moved on he should say it”

Gojo could tell the subject touched a nerve with you, there was no winning. You would’ve been unhappy if he didn’t bring sukuna up, thinking he didn’t even ask about you and here you are unhappy that what sukuna did ask was immature. Gojo tries not to laugh at how you seemed to never really change, and he guesses he hasn’t either

————

“Ungrateful children” Gojo Sr. grumbled as he stood next to sukuna “never have them” he continued, swirling the liquid in his glass which by the looks of him wasnt his first drink

Sukuna refrained from rolling his eyes but he was irritated for two reasons, he purposely secluded himself to the corner of the room where he wouldnt be dragged into conversations and the second reason being he didnt care one bit about this old man yet he played along

“I don’t plan on it” sukuna playfully responded

For the duration that hes been in collaboration with the gojos company, sukuna has been more or less working at an angle of trying to get Gojo Sr. to trust him, not for any reason other than it would get under gojos skin to see sukuna being chummy with his dad. That and maybe Gojo Sr. could tell him something useful about you and gojo.

He’d have to know something, yet as time went on sukuna lost hope, seeing as the old man hadn’t mentioned anything at all and seeing how this was probably the last night he’d be around the Gojos, he couldnt bring himself to pretend to care about what the old bastard had to say.

“I don’t understand, he’s getting this successful business I’ve built from the ground up, literally handed to him, and he cant even stay until the end of the event” Gojo Sr. scoffed “all for some ‘family emergency’ which is just a lie”

Sukuna glanced at Gojo sr. he didnt wanna make it clear that this intrigued him considering you were probably who gojo considered family. In the forefront of his mind he was wondering if something had happened to you. Were you okay? he didn’t care for gojos brat but he knows you cared about him, so for your sake he hopes nothing bad actually happened. He doesn't think for a second it involves his brother because yuji wasnt even supposed to be around the fushiguro kid today and if yuji was involved you would contact sukuna... or you should at least.

For someone who swore up and down about maintaining the family image, Gojo Sr. sure did a great job at undoing it in just a few minutes, thanks to a few drinks in his system and some misplaced trust. Sukuna had yet to say anything because for all he knows, Gojo Sr. could possibly get mad if sukuna does choose to say something, even if it was a chance to dunk on gojos character.

“Family this, family that yet those damn kids aren’t even his” Gojo Sr. turned to look sukuna directly in the face who now had a look of interest on his face “he should be more like you— motivated and passionate, hell you even stayed later than him” he dryly laughed as he took another swig of the drink in his hand

“Im sorry, kids?” Sukuna asked, he brushed off the other comment, he needed an elaboration. There was no way there was more than one, it’s just supposed to be fushiguro.

“That whore he lives with is using his no-- MY money” the older white haired bastard took sip of his drink “now my idiot son is raising some kid who isn’t even his” sukuna tries to keep himself composed, hearing you spoken of in such a negative way has him more irritated than any encounter with gojo could.

Sukuna is still convinced this escaped nursing home patient is just confused “i’ve met the kid, he’s well mannered” he tries to frame it in a way that’ll get Gojo Sr. to elaborate

“Not that one… that kid” he waved his hand in the air in a dismissive motion “his dad died years ago” Gojo Sr. shook his head at the memory

Sukuna hoped he wouldn’t elaborate he didn’t care for a back story right now (hes pretty sure he’d already heard it from you anyways). Right now he’s finding out you and gojo might actually have a kid together. He thinks this old man must lying about it not being gojos kid since it seems he doesn’t like you at all. Sukunas too focused on genuinely trying to keep his shit together

“There’s another one” Gojo Sr. bitterly continued “he thinks I’m not aware but I know and I don’t appreciate him being played for a fool its bad for our image and damaging financially” Gojo Sr. doesn’t really realize, through his buzzed state, that hes revealing more than he would had he been sober and it didn’t help that he truly thought positively of sukuna.

Another one? An actual second kid? Whatever else the old man was saying was drowned out by the ringing in sukunas ears. He could feel the sweat building up on his forehead as his heart beat wouldn’t slow down. He swears he feels himself grow light headed. Years of memories flashing in his mind as he accepts the reality that you’re actually with gojo, hell you even have a goddamned kid with him. His mind is racing genuinely questioning if you truly moved on so fast. He really thought he’d get you back but now? That seems like the most unlikely path in this scenario. His mind finally registers the old gas bag next to him is still talking and he catches onto something that he wishes he misheard, for the sake of his sanity

“That whole mess was... 4 years ago. I haven’t heard much about that disgrace of a woman since, but she’s still being a gold digger” Gojo Sr. sighed “I may have found out but my son does a good job at keeping his affairs private, I’ve only met that woman three times”

4 years? sukuna doesn’t want to let himself think about the fact that the timing was weird. Were you cheating on him with gojo? Did you rebound as soon as sukuna broke up with you? Every possibility was running through his mind until a horrifying possibility hits him as if a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown on him. That couldn’t be it… there was no way.

Sukuna thinks back to how the past two weeks yujis been avoiding him in ways he didn’t before. The kid can barely make eye contact and while sukuna initially thought maybe he was just hiding bad grades, was it actually something serious?

Theres no way you had a kid and it was sukunas, he refuses to accept that reality because the you that he knows and loves, would tell him. You wouldn’t keep something like that from him, so sukuna decides to convince himself that the idea of you possibly rebounding with gojo hurt less. He also refuses to accept the idea that you’d cheat, in his mind he creates an elaborate reason that maybe you and gojo had a kid for tax benefits or something along those lines.

Even if yujis awkward and terribly distant behavior was an indication that he’s hiding something and even if the way you no longer looked at sukuna with stars in your eyes, none of that was enough to convince him that you had his child, and decided not to tell him. And even worse, his own brother knew of this and didnt say anything. He rules this idea out of his mind as he doesn’t even realize its become painfully obvious how fast he’s spiraling.

Gojo Sr. finally realized sukuna was no longer paying attention to him “Are you okay there? You look awfully pale”

Sukuna abruptly ended the conversation, excusing himself as he ran to the nearest bathroom, he splashed water over his face and stared at his reflection for longer than he realized. He needs answers, and he needs them now. He knows he’d be able to get something out of yuji, the brat couldn’t lie to save his life, and now that sukuna knew what he needed to ask, he was gonna see what exactly yujis been hiding from him.

Sukuna didn't even remember his drive home, his mind was simply not present. He really truly hopes he’s being unreasonable and piecing together a theory that could very possibly be incorrect it was more than likely he was dead wrong and yet he's never felt so anxious in his life. You having a kid is enough of a shock for him— but it possibly being his? He cant even wrap his head around it. He actually finds himself hoping that its actually gojos, because if you knew… if you knew the kid was sukunas and didn’t tell him. He doesnt even stop to allow a logical thought like adoption or something, no he immediately jumped to conclusions, because when it was you all rationality was thrown out the window.

As sukuna slammed his car door, fumbling with the keys in his hand and struggled with the door knob just long enough that yuji swung the door open with an agitated look on his face — frustrated because he had to pause the movie he was watching when it was at the best part.

But the frantic look in sukunas eyes was enough to have yuji quickly making his way back to the couch

“Wait” sukuna said so quietly yuji would’ve missed it had the house not been dead silent

Yuji turned awkwardly to look at his brother. Yuji was never truly afraid of his brother, he’d always considered him all bark no bite, but there was something about the almost crazed state he was in that made yuji doubt that judgement in this moment. What could possibly have him this frantic? Yuji wondered, it was truly out of character for his brother, he was always composed even in the worst situations. Yujis breathing got heavier as he realized theres exactly one thing— one person, who could have him on edge like this. He’s scared to think of what would come out of sukunas mouth next

Sukuna mumbled your name so quietly, it was enough for yujis to hold his breath as he waited for sukuna to continue “does she have a kid?”

Yujis eyes widened and he took a few steps backwards, his heart was beating so fast he swears you’d be able to hear it thudding. How sukuna found this out was still a complete mystery, yuji swallowed slowly trying to think of words to say but this was not his conversation to have. Did sukuna talk to you? Or Gojo? Yuji genuinely had no words, nor was he ready for this.

next chapter

[ppnuggie]

can you do a haedcanon of a fem human just drinking SO MUCH COFFEE like cup after cup an she is litery shaking in her seat her entire body is like a maraca an she she swerves bar so can u do headcanons for this for first aid, perceptor, brainstorm, chromdome an cyclones just teacting to this madness

　　　　　　LOST LIGHT x fem reader

　　　　『　first aid ,, brainstorm ,, perceptor ,, chromedome ,, cyclonus ,, female reader 』

　　-> reader who drinks too much coffee and gets really hyper

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, magnus is forever suffering

　　— here you go !! :3 tysm for requesting !! tried to make it funny 🫡 hope you enjoy it <3 i loved writing this one but be warned as i dont drink coffee nor rlly know much for the side effects or smt from drinking it 😭😭 even though im literally working at dunkin rn and they only rlly got coffee

- first aid

| • he'd be worried at first with the amount of coffee you've consumed ,, having learned about humans and other things concerning them incase of an emergency

| • in this case ,, itd seem the knowledge he learned wasnt too helpful

| • bouncing all around the medbay and just hyper in general was quite a pain for first aid to deal with

| • but he didnt want to be too rude to you ,, and gently coaxed you into spending all that energy of yours running laps around the edge of the medlab where you wouldnt get too hurt

| • though when you finally wear it off ,, he'll be quick to scold you ,, holding his digit in front of your face and waving it side to side in a 'no no' motion before taking you to his habsuite and laying you down for a nap

- brainstorm

| • he honestly doesnt know better okay ? you could tell him anything and suddenly he wants to put it to the test

| • so when you said you could drink a bunch of cups of coffee and wouldnt bat an eye ,, he was immediately like bet and then that led to the current situation

| • perceptor is facepalming and immediately making brainstorm take blame for encouraging you to do this ,, because now theres a hyperactive human running around the lab

| • i mean you're practically flying around with how much coffee youve drank ,, hell you could probably beat blurr in a race

| • official you wouldnt say that out loud because lord knows some of his fans to be a bit crazy and would immediately be on your case saying "no you wouldn't !!" and maybe a few death threats involved as well

| • dont mention it in front of brainstorm either because hes already calling blurr to set you up for a race

| • hes no help ,, dont ever tell him your ideas or encourage his crazy ideas unless you wanna end up in magnus's office ,, having him scold you like a dad does to their child who drew on the walls and is trying not to laugh at the situation

- perceptor

| • thanks to brainstorm ,, you chugged too much coffee than your body ever really needed ,, and with perceptor as your not-so-official-but-official-in-his-mind-protector-slash-guardian-slash-alien-robot-boyfriend-slash-fun-killer he just sighs and takes you out the lab

| • he doesnt have the patience to deal with any acidic spills from you bouncing off the walls left and right

| • nor does he really need you getting hurt in any way shape or form

| • lets just say its an awkward trip to the medbay to see if ratchet has anything to help with your situation

| • and when he comes up empty handed ,, percy resorts to scolding you whilst the caffeine starts to wear off

| • it taught you better than to listen to brainstorm again because bro was yapping at 100 words per minute you swore he couldve talked faster than blurr at that point

| • bro was an absolute chatterbox just yapping and yapping that you fell asleep

| • never again would you do that ,, or think about doing that because the headache afterwards when you woke up was so not worth it

- chromedome

| • he also doesnt know any better ,, but he's definitely more responsible than brainstorm is

| • he'd know to at least keep a lot of caffeine or high sugar products out of your reach ,, just hiding it on your top shelves or above your cabinets like parents do with their kids' halloween candy

| • though when you accidentally made too much coffee ,, and didnt really feel like wasting it ,, you drank it all in one go ,, or well multiple big ass gulps

| • and then rewind walks in on the scene and sees how hyper you are and is honestly thinking youre sick with some make-a-person-crazy-illness-virus-disease-thing that he swears is somewhere in his database

| • and now chromedome has to play dad and parent you the whole time

| • bro probably put your ass on a leash ,, locking it in so the rope only goes so far and just stands there as you run around

| • this is what he gets ,, he thinks to himself ,, its the last time hes putting something so low in your reach again

| • at this point ,, hes just gonna store all your unhealthy and junk food away in a desk in his habsuite

| • he'll leave you fruit and vegetables but if you want coffee ever again youre gonna have to behave really good to get it

| • and its only a spoonful ,, as a little treat

- cyclonus

| • so you just trying to show and answer tailgates crazy ass questions that youre not even sure where he got them from

| • he probably got them from his ass at this point ,, asking if the coffee gives you super powers and you have to explain thats not true before he spreads lies around

| • and if that happened ,, you shivered at the thought of magnus banning your coffee aboard the lost light

| • that was pure trauma to even think about right there

| • anyways you made too much ,, and instead of storing it away or pouring it down the drain ,, tailgate dared you to drink it all

| • and well ,, momma aint raise no pussy but she did raise someone who makes bad decisions

| • because the moment you get your spurge of energy tailgate runs to cyclonus and tells him all about it

| • bros going on and on about how youve lost your mind and he thinks youre gonna die and cyclonus had like 600 heart attacks right then and there

| • he busts in like hes the damn swat team ,, door kicked down and pieces of it flying everywhere as you're running around like a wild banshee

| • he's looking for the demon and meanwhile youre out here acting like a damn demon ,, almost frothing at the mouth from how insane you are from the coffee

| • lets just say it makes magnus ban tailgate from ever daring you to do anything ,, bans you from having your coffee ,, and bans cyclonus for ever kicking down a door like that ever again because it was so unnecessary

[st4rgzer]

MATT BUT ITS THE AUDIO I SENT U

UNREQUITED PT. 2 matt sturniolo

summary: pt 2 of unrequited love, you make some plans that take a turn for the worse

genre: PURE angst

cw: mentions of self deprecation, flirty jokes

a/n: for my lobe, @iha8you , hope you enjoy it, sorry for what happened again, fuck him!

Its been 2 months since i started distancing myself from the triplets and anything involving them, more precisely, matt.

Of course they noticed, i have more than 11 missed called from nick, not trusting my messages saying “im fine, just busy, ttyl” Im never like that, not with them at least. Today I’ve made up my mind, im going to put my silly feelings aside and hang out with my friends, its was i need, it’ll do me good, i know it will. They pick me up from my house, the drive to theirs being the most awkward thing in the world, worse than telling a server at a restaurant “you too!” In response to “enjoy your food”, yeah. No one said a word, that was the worst, its everyone expected someone to say something but no one dared to break the silence. I think I could see matt smirk in the rear view mirror, I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, did he find this amusing? We arrived home a few minutes after, which felt like an eternity. I undid my seatbelt and we all went to the front door, waiting for nick to get the keys, he fiddled with them, trying to open the door

“Whenever you want nick” Chris said sarcastically, annoyance visible in his voice, as he always did when he bickered with his brother. Eventually, he got the door open and we all got set up inside, I sat on the couch with nick next to matt and chris.

“Do y’all wanna watch a movie or…?” Nick said looking around, everyone nodded, including me, I would rather just watch a movie then have to talk. I cleared my throat and crossed my legs, getting comfortable. Nick got up after putting on a scary movie and went to get some drinks and snacks

“I’ll come help you!” Chris exclaimed, he probably just wanted to make sure no one got his pepsi, but whatever. I come to the realization me and matt are alone on the sofa, the movie is paused, we glance at eachother awkwardly, even if we never argued or said anything about how i felt, we both knew something was up, he was the first one to break the silence.

“Hey you can talk to me you know, you act like you love me or something” he laughed off, my stomach dropped, did he know? No, that’s impossible. I laughed along.

“No I’ve just, just been really busy and-“ i get cut off. “C’mon don’t tell me that bullshit, I know you haven’t been THAT busy to hang out with your favorite friends” he said rolling his eyes, he hit my shoulder playfully. He touched my shoulder. I looked down, trying to find a better excuse, or hoping that he’d just let it slide.

“Well, I’m just reall-” saved by the bell. “LOVEBIRDSSS got the popcorn, drinks, and ready for another hour of edward scissorhands” Nick said placing the popcorn onto the table, crossing his legs over the couch, and grabbing the remote. I let out a sigh of relief, matt looked over at me and huffed, im sure he’ll forget. Chris put his feet over matt’s lap and sipped his soda.

After the movie ended, it was fenomenal as always by the way, we got to talking, great.

“So y/n, what have you been up to? We really haven’t seen you at all these months” Chris spoke between handfuls of popcorn. Nick nodded along

“Well i-“ I glanced over at matt, he was looking at me, of course he would, im speaking, what am i even saying? “I’ve had a heavy month of recording and editing videos, im in the middle of looking for a new editor, AND im getting my drivers license, so yeah, pretty bus- occupied…” I explained to them, half of that was true, i WAS looking for a new editor, just not actively doing so, and i AM getting my license, just not till January…but they bought it, which is the important part.

“Well we’ve all missed you around here” nick scooched next to me. I smiled in return.

“Yeah especially matt” Chris said suggestively, prolonging the word matt in a singsongy voice. Im sure he didn’t mean it that way, was he mocking me?. Matt just rolled his eyes.

“Sure, well im not the one who’s in love with me” he smirked at me, I scoffed, again? Really? Its like everyone is in on a big inside joke but me, and i hate it.

Nick notices my discomfort and diverts the attention from me.

“Hey how about we call Alanha and Madi and we go to Mcdonalds or something” he suggested. “Yeah that sounds great!” I responded, the other two agreed in unison, and we left the previous subject alone, thank god.

As we pulled up to Alanha’s house, Madi and her went out of the door and got into the backseat next to me and Nick, we squeezed in all we could, we laughed about it a bit, it was a relief to see them really, Madi was the only one, along with some other gfs, that knew about it.

“Y/n! Its so good to see you, its been forever” Alanha side hugged me, with difficulty in the cramped car.

“Yeah i know, its good to see you guys too” I smiled at both of them, the car ride to the Mcdonalds drive thru was short, thankfully. Matt lowered the music as the speaker took our order, everyone whispering theirs to him, he remembered my order. We pulled into the parking lot, sorting out all the food.

We decided to eat out in the car park, it was dark so there was no one there, so it was quiet and peacful, we were eating our food and making jokes, Matt kept on slipping little flirty remarks but I ignored them, after all, he was just making fun of me.

“Fuck arent you guys cold?” Madi shivered, rubbing her hands together, it was chilly but we all had at least a hoodie on.

“Here, im warm from all the food” Matt took off his hoodie. He handed it over to her. She put it on. “oh” i thought.

All the sounds around me kind of tuned down, furrowing my eyebrows and snapping myself out of my state, my breathing got a little heavier, i shook my head. Why was a being so dramatic? For the love of god, he just gave her his hoodie, its not like he declared his undying love for her or something, either was it still hurt a little, im lying, it hurt a lot. Madi put her hands in the pocket of Matt’s black ransom hoodie, she smiled and the conversation carried on, but I wasn’t paying attention

“Y/n? Y/n are you theree?” Nick waved a hand in front of my face.

“Sorry I just zoned out there for a sec” I laughed somehow, I didn’t know if it was really visible in my face how upset I was.

“Oh im sorry did you want my hoodie” Matt joked, everyone else laughed along, it was an innocent little joke for them, i get it. I bit the inside of my cheek, he took my feelings as a hilarious thing, as if I was the kings jester. I breathed in, trying not to let the stinging feeling of tears in my eyes win over, I didn’t wanna be the one to say they wanted to go home, so i just waited, not participating in the conversation, but laughing and nodding along at the right times to not raise any suspicions, eventually, Alanha said she had to be up early in the morning, if we could go home, so we did.

“Guys just drop me off here” I sighed, getting out of the car, waving little goodbyes to all of them. Another successful night, drained, the only comfort being my bed and being enveloped by my fluffy sheets. Another night wondering if there’s something wrong with me, and another night realizing once again that hope is, indeed, a dangerous thing for someone like me to have.

a/n: everyone say “fuck you danny!” 🙂🙂 @iha8you

should i do a taglist or something?😭 tell me if u dont wanna be on this

@dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @20nugs @mettsturniolo @iha8you @lvrsparadise @gabbylovesreading

[batsplat]

Oh im obses whit your blog like you are such a great historian on vale and love the way you analys stuff admire the way of writing all of your toughs in such a corent way 🩷🩷🐹

this is so nice, thank you!! okay so this ask was initially sent in response to this post about how marc knew what a dick valentino was to his rivals and appreciated/wished to emulate that side of him, in particular in the context of copying the jerez pass. and... well, there is one more follow-up post to that I did want to make. it didn't really work within that post because it's pretty speculative, but I think it's fun! here goes

so you know argentina 2018, right, big drama, reconciliation over, bla bla (I promise this is going in a more fun direction, stick with me here). there's a bit of marc's post-race media scrum that I am a wee bit obsessed with. or well, two specific lines, one in english (0:00) and one in spanish (1:02) - I've included the full responses for context, but in this post I'm really only interested in those two lines

in english:

But he was in the past also 25 years old, and will remember, everybody.

and in spanish:

He has also been 25 years old and, well, I hope that people also remember.

... 25 years old, did you say?

okay, look, fair warning. the rest of this post is going to be reading too much into what was probably an off-handed comment - even if, I'd just like to point out, it is something he felt the need to say twice. but let's just have some fun here, and read too much into it. as a treat

so obviously the most generic way to read this is him saying 'well valentino used to be really aggressive on-track too, so people shouldn't be criticising me more than they did him'. thing is, I wouldn't say there was that much of a noticeable decline in how aggressive valentino was being, and 2017 did still feature some major scraps where valentino very much got his elbows out (cf assen and phillip island, I included a bit more detail on this in the marc race rec post). sure, valentino did increasingly have his reservations about some of the behaviour of younger riders, so maybe he was less aggressive now relative to the field... but I just don't feel like that's quite what this line is implying. it's also not about valentino making 'mistakes' in general, because there would have been no reason to refer back to past-valentino in that regard... the 25 year old version of valentino was considerably more error-free than the 39 year old

so then, my theory is that it's about valentino's controversies! that's what people "will remember", right - it's not the general style of riding, not just innocent mistakes, it's the times when valentino caused a bit of a stir on and off the race track. now, again, you could go the generic route here and say 'ah well maybe marc is just thinking of all the mess valentino got himself involved in when he was younger, from getting into a fist fight with max biaggi at age 22 to pissing off casey stoner through his aggressive riding at laguna at age 29'. but let's say for a moment that marc was thinking a bit more specifically than that... after all, if we're just talking about valentino controversies in general, surely marc should be able to think of a rather more recent example where valentino, like marc at argentina 2018, caused another rider to crash and was subsequently penalised for his riding? of course, marc probably didn't want to bring up that particular controversy - but it's still interesting he feels the need to refer back to a younger version of valentino at all, the fact that this crossed his mind in the first place to make him bring it up unprompted while making his case. so maybe when marc, who is after all a known valentino rossi fan, refers twice to what valentino was like at "25 years old"... he is in fact thinking of what valentino was like when he was 25 years old. and in what year would that be? well, here's the thing. it would be 2004

readers of the sete post can probably guess where I'm going with this, but let's just take a moment to review what specific on-track incidents marc could be thinking of here. let's give him a little bit of extra leeway in terms of the age, even though I trust marc to be more on top of the exact age gap than valentino was in times past. let's throw in one year either way, so 2003 to 2005, and draw up a list of any particularly controversial races valentino was involved in. here's what I've got:

assen 2004 - valentino executed a hard overtake for the win on the last lap on sete gibernau. he's not in complete control and almost loses the front at the next corner, which would have taken them both out

qatar 2004 - after his team rubber up his grid slot the night before, valentino gets slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty. he ends up crashing out of the race and burns his relationship with sete in the aftermath

jerez 2005 - at a time when their relationship is already very chilly, valentino and sete engage in another duel. valentino executes a block pass with contact at the final corner and is booed by the crowd

motegi 2005 - the first chance to seal that year's title, and one valentino would very much have liked to take to spite honda. an unwise overtaking attempt on melandri leaves both on the ground

so, my guess is that neither assen nor motegi were really big enough controversies to fit the bill, though maybe they stuck in marc's mind as instances of 'reckless riding' that he includes in a more generic internal understanding of young valentino rossi. we do of course know for a fact that marc was more than aware of what happened at jerez 2005, not least because he, you know, directly copied that move twelve years later (again, link to the relevant post). like marc in argentina 2018, valentino barged into a rival in rather controversial fashion, and obviously it also made the relationship between him and said rival deteriorate still further. sure, you can't really argue the move was 'as bad' as argentina 2018, but as far as I'm concerned it has the same general vibe

you know what else has the same general vibe? here's a race description for you:

a 25 year old rider is sent to the back of the grid for a reason they consider unfair

they proceed to deliver a phenomenal performance even by their lofty standards, quickly working their way up to a position that seemed unattainable to them

they barge a rival out of the way in their impatience, reaching back to apologise for the move

the race ends poorly for them and they fail to score any points

afterwards, their relationship with a rival is ruined as a result of the events of the race, and the whole thing remains a lingering controversy for years to come

one race that fits this description is, of course, argentina 2018. the other is qatar 2004. there's obviously plenty of details that are significantly different - valentino's move on barros is less egregious and far less controversial, and his race ends in the gravel rather than with a post-race time penalty. still, that start of valentino's? the impatience? the post-race fury? the repercussions this race had? come on, look at the race footage I included in the qatar post and tell me there's not a little bit of a shadow of that qatar fury to the argentina recklessness

this is a point I snuck into the marc race recs post, where I included this excerpt from a post-argentina 2018 write-up:

phillip island 2003, hm? as it happens, in the qatar post, I did include a bit of the autobiography that compares those two specific races:

so, phillip island 2003: a performance that made everyone wonder just how much valentino had left in reserve to draw on whenever he needed it. what valentino is saying here is that this performance wasn't a result of him holding back in all the other races that year - this was speed that was accessible to him only in that moment because he was so angry. so yes, maybe it's a valid question to wonder what would have happened at phillip island 2003 if it hadn't just been the ghost of his bike that had to pick its way through the stragglers. then again, valentino says it's not just rage that does the trick for him - it's controlled rage... which is all well and good, except when you lose control

and see also:

that's what argentina 2018 is all about, isn't it? it's a performance that's rooted in impatience, in restlessness, in frustration - where marc tuns his "rage into pure speed", as valentino would put it, in a hubristic dismissal of the rest of the field. ideally, the two of them channel those emotions to spur themselves on to special, signature performances... but sometimes, it gets the better of them. it got the better of marc that day in argentina and cost him the tentative peace with valentino. at qatar, it could have cost valentino the title

(also shades of this in jerez 2020 - an error sets the stage for some extraordinary pace before it all goes wrong) (catalunya 2003 is a fun more compact nephew to that race without the unhappy ending)

now, look, am I saying that marc was really referring back to qatar 2004 specifically, a race that had happened fourteen years earlier, when making an off-hand remark in a post-race media scrum as he tried to do some damage control in the wake of one of the most controversial races of his career? well, no. he could have been! but it's unlikely. maybe he's shit at maths and was actually thinking about laguna 2008 after all. still, I would like to once again point out that he felt the need to mention valentino's behaviour at age twenty five not once but twice. he's telling us that he wants people to remember what valentino was like at that age, and in the most literal sense I am doing what he's asking for. surely it's worth at least noting that there just happens to be a race where valentino was at that exact age and his temper overcame his rationality, leading to him making a costly error... surely it's worth acknowledging this...

even if marc wasn't actually obliquely referring back to that race or indeed any of the races I mentioned above, of course the parallels between valentino's foibles and marc's are in any case interesting. it speaks to how they get those special performances out of themselves, the similarities in how they operate in that regard... but of course also in how they both sometimes stray rather close to the limit, how they repeatedly flirt with crossing the line. a stubbornness and a hubris and a rage that can sometimes lead to disaster for the both of them. and another thing - who knows if marc was thinking about qatar 2004, but he must have been thinking about something. that's the point of that jerez post, right... marc is valentino's successor in so many ways, he has fashioned himself in valentino's image - and he keenly grasps and remains aware of all the different aspects of that legacy. he's the most accomplished of valentino's students and he felt strongly that what he did in that race in argentina was in some way comparable to what valentino himself had been doing at his age, part of the same tradition even. yes, to some extent marc is obviously accusing valentino of hypocrisy here: how can you judge me when you were once young and foolish too? his tone isn't exactly filled with remorse either, is it, he's pretty feisty in that media scrum! still, there's something more to it... something almost poetic to the whole thing, wouldn't you say? valentino had just accused marc of ruining the sport - and in response marc wants people to remember that they are just the same

[im-out-of-it]

HAPPY ALEC RANT: MAINLY SHOW ALEC (KINDA BOOK ALEC) BUT HOW HAS MY BOY NOT HAD A MILLION MENTAL BREAKDOWNS?????? CHEERS TO MY MAN ALEC FOR KEEPING HIS SHIT TOGETHER

seriously alec puts up with sooooo much shit. he’s always saving jaces worthless ass, Maryse and Robert are always on him for “family honor”, jace is always yelling at him when clary goes missing as if he can be held responsible for her, and poor soul is just so unhappy

book Alec: not going to mention the writing because it’s so atrocious and ah shit, I already did!!!! seriously, Alec gets treated badly by jace mostly all throughout the series. Alec constantly has to save his life in every book. he’s made to feel that he needs to come out. even Magnus (WHY MAGNUS) is pushing Alec to come out and coming after A TEENAGE ALEC. I feel like Alec is simply not happy basically throughout the whole TMI series. he’s made to be biphobic, acting as though Magnus can’t have a past, tries to make Magnus mortal (ALEC WOULD NEVER), and dude can’t even be his own person without thinking of jace. he’s so badly written and cc has damaged his character so much. I genuinely hope in my world, he’s more like show Alec and living his best and carefree healthy life with Magnus 🥰

show Alec: MY FAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! his parents are on him for saving the family honor and reputation (because of fucking clary ew), then Maryse gets mad after Alec finally chooses for himself, jace is always using him and expecting Alec to drop everything and save him, clary does the same and doesn’t care about the rules just what she wants. Lydia was such a small character and I know some don’t like her but at least she was nice towards Alec.

honestly in majority of the first season, everyone is yelling or getting shitty with Alec. I’m sorry but this man is so reasonable and lenient. he has let a ton of shit fly!!!! if I was in charge of the institute, I would’ve shipped clarys annoying ass off somewhere else. sorry but not my problem 💀 and the way jace treats Alec is unforgivable. I really wanted Alec to give in and go off completely. I’m glad he stands up for himself cause boy did not have the honor to do it in the books. we know we get the “I’m not your bitch” line but let’s be honest, Alec isn’t his own person.

I’m just amazed he never went completely unhinged. Magnus, Lydia, Izzy (mostly) are probably the only people who are nice to Alec and don’t treat him badly. a little bit of Simon too!!!!! Alec seriously deserved a huge vacation after season one. I’m amazed he stuck by jaces side after all jace did. let that fucker die and stay dead, please!!! IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT LMAO

just major props to Alec for not losing his shit and being one of the best characters ever. I can see why Matt is so proud of Alec and whoever changed show Alec and made him better, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

because what the fuck was it with jace saying “oh Alec will be here.” like Alec has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be involved with all the missions clary is trying to accomplish (bitch there are rules wtf), resulting in his family’s reputation, Izzy being almost deruned. he expects Alec to do whatever he says. and then when ms. I don’t care about the rules so I’ll run away does indeed run away, jace says Alec isn’t doing his best. might I add, is crossing the line. Alec has done so much for you, you ungrateful unworthless ass!!!!!! somebody needed to beat this child I swear

he gets to be happy with Magnus and actually shows what a healthy and fun relationship is. tries to change the relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters. MAKING HISTORY!! is probably the best leader ever in my opinion. he’s just out here thriving

also wish they would’ve kept his sassiness throughout the seasons. imagine his range and sass please. WE NEEDED IT

[alphabetatoes]

under the mistletoe (n. kento x reader)

summary: you're back in town for winter break, and gojo has a plan to get you with your crush: nanami kento. cue operation: under the misletoe + let the shenanigans begin. gen. info: college au, fluff, this could very well count as a crack fic, mdni please and thank u, no beta we post like men!!1!1! c.w.: slight suggestive content toward the middle of the fic, drinking games, alcohol, dub con*, some language, everyone involved is 21+, satoru gojo is a menace to society, mutual pining, maybe possibly ever so slightly ooc, why did i make it sort of angsty at the end lmfao w.c.: 2.8k (oops - this was supposed to be a drabble) *given that alcohol consumption is a part of a fic involving intimacy (even if its kissing), im playing it safe and tagging this as well.

“Did you see who’s back home for the holidays?” Gojo practically catapults himself through the door of Shoko’s apartment, eager to break the news of your arrival back home. Geto’s eyes widened slightly in excitement, shifting up from his slouched position on the couch. “Kento’s gonna be elated. He hasn’t stopped talking about her since she left.” Nanami had come to confide in the group, Gojo especially, about his qualms with your relationship. He felt like everything was one step forward, two steps back. And the worst part? It was no one’s fault but his own. Every time he saw you, he was rendered speechless. In awe that a person like you could allow themself in his presence. Utterly and unabashedly infatuated. However, when all the words he could seem to muster to you were short and curt, it made getting to know you better just a little difficult. But, of course, you were well unaware of this. “Is he actually going to talk to her?” Shoko questions, “Or is he just gonna do that brooding thing where he looks longingly from the corner of a room?” Utahime nods in agreement, but Gojo gives a smirk. “I have the perfect plan.” Gojo fills the group in on the grandiose idea he’s come up with to get the two of you to talk to each other, aptly named ‘Operation: Under the Mistletoe’. Everyone seemed to be on the same page for the plan, but Utahime raised a skeptical brow. “Just know Satoru, if this all goes to shit I’m kicking your ass.”

You feel the vibration of your phone in your back pocket, notifying you of a new text message.

gojo: holiday party at mine tmrrw night. be there or be ⃞ ↳ 🫡🫡 yessir

Once you sent your response, you pondered on how the night would go. Would Nanami be there? Would you actually get to say more than three words to him before getting too nervous and darting away? At this point, you were certain he’d pay you no mind. One too many awkward interactions to warrant anything other than a polite acknowledgement that the two of you were in the same room at the same time. Simple semantics.

You triple checked your location to make sure you didn’t accidentally drive into a gaudy Christmas postcard. The Gojo estate was breathtaking, adorned top to bottom in ribbons, lights, and greenery. Off to the left side of the house, there was a winding garden path leading to the guest house, which doubled as Satoru’s residence when he visited home for the holidays. You parked your car and made your way up to the guest house. Gojo was waiting on the porch for you, giddy at your arrival.

“You’re here!” He jogs over to you, holding out his arm so he could escort  you in.

“Sure am. Hope I’m not too late?” The simple banter was something you’d grown to miss while away at school. You were all too ready to fall back into the routine of being back home.

“Never.” Gojo opens the door for you, and you make your way into the house. It was just as ornately decorated as the main house, with holiday decor at every corner. Shoko and Utahime come up to greet you, giving you a hug and divulging how much they missed you. Geto joins Gojo, wrapping his arm around the white haired boys waist, and greets you as well.

Nanami was propped up against the doorframe leading from the living room to the kitchen. It was surprising how a man so big was hell bent on making himself look small. You give him a small wave, and he nods quickly in acknowledgement.

After some small talk with the group, Gojo calls the party to order. “I mean, now that everyone’s here, we can start the game.”

“What game?” You and Nanami questioned the white haired boy in unison, causing a light blush to brush against your cheeks. 

“It’s called ‘Cootie Shot’. You see the mistletoe around the house?” Gojo motions at various nooks and crannies adorned with the plant around the guest house. “If you and your partner are caught under it by a different team, you gotta kiss. Otherwise, for immunity, you have to take a shot of your choice. Cootie, shot. Cootie shot!” Gojo himself would be sticking to juice for the rest of the night after having his first shot. There were a handful of nights out drinking that were memorable to say the least. “Suguru and I are together, obviously. Shoko and Utahime are partners, and, last but certainly not least, you and Kento.”

You take the shot, feeling the gentle burn of the liquor as it goes down. 

“Let the games begin!”

It took all of 20 minutes to find yourself under a bushel of mistletoe with Nanami. Ever the eager one, Gojo was first  to notice.  You look up at Nanami, giving him a nod. He’s tall enough to where you’re standing on your tiptoes to lean into the kiss. A simple peck is what he gives you. His arm rested against your waist, keeping the two of you steady. But maybe he gave you a small smirk once you pulled away, just for the two of you. And you could taste the liquor lingering on his lips from the first shot of the night.

The game continued on throughout the night, with Gojo and Geto in the lead. They’d managed to catch Shoko and Utahime five times already, but neither seemed to mind the shot penalty. You and Nanami caught the former pair a couple times. Gojo opted to stick to the “cootie” part of the game after the first shot though, partially under the advice  of  his partner but also to make sure he didn’t make a complete ass of himself. The night was still young, and there was still plenty that could happen.

Gojo put on a holiday mix of music he claimed to have ‘curated perfectly’ and to set the atmosphere for the night. As if on cue, you could hear the piano chords of an all too popular hit from the 80’s. “What’s a party without a power ballad?” Shoko and Utahime immediately jumped in and began acting out the lyrics with him. It was a performance worthy of awards. You might have even shed a tear if you didn’t look over at Kento actively trying not to laugh at the sheer intensity of the show. And his laughter was contagious, with you yourself falling victim to it. Once everyone was able to collect themselves, you all decided to decompress for a moment. Soft holiday music began to fill the room as the six of you indulged in some much needed catch-up. Feeling the pull of the music, you walk over to Nanami and place your hand out, offering him to dance. He takes it with a smile, letting his hands rest on your waist. Yours found a spot comfortably around his neck. Swaying to the beat of the music, you take note of his cologne. It’s strong but not too overbearing, smelling like spice and wood. It was perfectly Kento.

“You two sure you don’t want to call it a night early? Catch up? Catch up?” Gojo’s eyebrows nearly jump off his face with the velocity he’s raising them up and down. Your brief moment of splendor was interrupted by a rather overjoyed Satoru.

Utahime gives Geto a look of dissatisfaction. “Can’t you put him on a leash or something?” 

“I would say yes, but, knowing him, he’d probably like it.” Geto remorses, rubbing the back of his scolded lover to soothe him.

 “I could always tranquilize him.” Shoko deadpans. Despite her drunken stupor, it wasn’t a half bad idea.

“Cootie shot.” Shoko catches you in the middle of a conversation with Nanami. It takes you a second to register what she’s talking about, but the interruption gives you an idea.

“I mean, I was starting to get thirsty anyways.”

“Me too.” You took his hand and led him to the kitchen, taking note of just how big it was compared to yours. And warm. While your hands were typically frigid, Nanami’s provide solace. 

You settle yourself on the kitchen island, letting your feet dangle off the edge. Nanami plays bartender, grabbing two shot glasses from the cupboard and setting them next to you on the island. “Pick your poison.” You ponder momentarily, but select a tried and true. “Shot of vodka.” He pours the shots and hands you one, placing his glass in the air. Your glass joins his as you toast to being caught, once again, under the mistletoe. “Cheers.” Once the subtle burn of the shot wore off, you took initiative to ask a question that had been plaguing your mind ever since you arrived. “So what made you decide to come tonight? I thought you didn’t do parties.” Nanami’s face turns serious for a moment, retreating from the relaxed demeanor he had come into during the night. “I was told you’d be here.” You’d blame the everpresent blush on your face from the liquor, but it was all too obvious what the real cause was.

“Do you want to go somewhere else? Be able to actually talk away from all…” You motion to the party and its attendees, “-this?” He takes you up on your offer, helping you get down from the counter so you could find a place more secluded. There’s a small guest room at the end of the hall connecting to the living room, near enough to not draw too much attention during your absence. 

Once you shut the door, you join him on the bed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you left, and I missed you… and I had no fucking clue what to do about it.” He starts to ramble as you take his hands in yours, hoping to soothe his racing thoughts. You look him in the eyes, let him have your full attention. “What can I do for you now?”

“I want you so fucking badly.” And you can see it in his eyes. Everything about you has him under a trance.

“So show me.”

He held you close, but with care, like you were the most delicate thing to exist. Scared that you’d shatter into a million shiny pieces if he were too rough. And much like the first kiss, this one was soft. You could feel his heart going a million miles per hour when you rested your hands on his chest. He was holding back, scared to ruin what was going so perfectly. You deepen the kiss, moving your hands up to play with his shirt collar. Emboldened by your advances, he hooks his fingers in your belt loops to bring you as close to him as possible. He moves a hand to run through your hair, pulling gently. You give a sigh of approval into his mouth and it drives him wild.

A knock on the door breaks the two of you apart. You mouth a simple “Sorry” as Kento gets up to investigate.

‘Can I get you kids anything? Some water or a snack maybe?” Satoru calls from the other side of the door. Nanami gets up and straightens himself, throwing you an apologetic look. He opens the door and leans on the frame, daring Satoru to comment. But Gojo isn’t stupid, taking note of the new wrinkles on Nanami’s shirt collar and the disheveled state of your hair. He throws Kento a cheeky smile. “Glad to know the two of you are having fun.” Kento rolls his eyes and shuts the door. He pulls you up off the bed and into his embrace, resting his head in the space between your shoulder and neck. He whispers in your ear, soft enough so the man on the other side of the door can’t decipher. “We’d better get back out there. God knows what rumors Satoru will be starting if we stay here any longer.”

The night was winding down, and you all found yourselves gathered around the fire pit on the patio. You sat on one of Nanami’s legs, and settled into him. Nanami wrapped one arm around your waist to keep you anchored to him. HIs other arm rested plush on one of your thighs, kneading the flesh softly. The glow of the fire illuminated your surroundings, and you could just barely make out a single bushel of mistletoe tied up near one of the patio banisters. You nudged Kento, raising your brows as you looked up at the plant of topic. 

Nanami picked up on your cue and gently moved the hand on your thigh up to cup your cheek. 

But something felt different about it this time. Not that the others were unwanted, but there was less pressure with the kiss. An organic expression, something just for the two of you. Sickly sweet, yet everything that dreams were made of.

“Not even prompted this time.” Gojo elbows Geto, drawing his attention to the pair of you. “Guess Operation: Under the Mistletoe worked!” Geto just crosses his arms and smirks, ready to watch the mini-circus about to happen from his revelation.

“Satoru, this-“, Utahime motions at his general Gojo-ness, “is precisely why we don’t let you drink. One shot and you’re done for.”

“I can still tranquilize him.. just saying.” You might just have to take Shoko up on her offer at this point. 

And as Gojo divulges into the inner workings of the ‘operation’, you can’t help but laugh to yourself. It seemed everyone was privy to the fact that you and Kento liked each other except the two people involved. You hope Nanami can see the humor in the situation. But in all honesty, he’s just relieved that you reciprocate feelings.

As the night drew to a close, you prepared yourself to make a quiet exit. Satoru and Suguru were entangled in each other and passed out on the living room couch, and Shoko was helping Utahime nurse a bottle of electrolyte solution in the kitchen.  You found yourself curled up into Nanami on one of the recliners, resting your head against his chest. He played with your hair, occasionally tucking the pieces that would fall in your eyes behind your ear. If you didn’t get up now, you’d probably never leave. You tap Kento’s leg to cue your departure, and he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you back into him. “Stay here?” There was a slight whine in his voice, not wanting to have to give you up yet. But it was nearing dawn, and you were ready to recline in the comfort of your own bed. Let sober thoughts prevail tomorrow. “At least let me walk you home.” You only lived a couple blocks away, but decided to take him up on his offer to escort you home. It was still dark outside after all. 

Shoko sends the two of you off with a simple salute, and motions for you to text her once you get home safely.

Snow coats the street, freshly fallen and devoid of impurities. Your footprints are the first to break the layer of snow. The walk home is quiet for a bit, only accompanied by the sound of snow breaking below your feet. Kento helps keep you steady as you wane off the last bit of a buzz you had worked up during the night. He’s also the first to break the silence. “I had a lot of fun tonight.” His voice is soft, speaking out of earnest. It was nice to see him be so organic with you, the awkwardness at the beginning of the night a mere glimpse of the past. ”Yeah, we should do it again.” You give him a quick smile and squeeze his hand. Gojo had suggested a New Year’s Eve party earlier in the night  (no covert mission involved this time), so there was ample opportunity to get to see him again. Get to be with him. 

The rest of the walk home returned to quiet. He stops in the middle of the sidewalk in front of your place and turns to you, making sure he has your full attention. “I really did miss  you, you know.” The cold winter air only aids in the blush tinting your cheeks and the tint of your ears. You give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but he holds on to you for a bit. His broad frame engulfs you into his chest, not quite ready to let you go. But all good things must come to an end, and you see him off on your porch.

“I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve, Kento.”

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

Once you got inside your house, you nearly passed out on the couch, drained from the events of the night. You sent Shoko a quick text to let her know you’d made it home safe, and let yourself fall asleep.

a.n.: this was supposed to be out on christmas (oops). also me struggling not to write 'y'all' instead of you/you all- i am born and raised in texas, it's like breaking muscle memory for me ;-; also i needed this OUT of my drafts, could NOT keep looking at it

[an1tak]

recommendations of books! by ana

I read until I fall asleep

ʚ- All books im looking foward to read this summer! some non fic and fic hope you find something that interests you. its kinda long

ʚ- Almost all of them are tiktok recs the user of where i find the book will be in pink.

Book's:

Memoirs / essays

Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture : Cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay has edited a collection of essays that explore what it means to live in a world where women are frequently belittled and harassed due to their gender, and offers a call to arms insisting that "not that bad" must no longer be good enough.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone : From a psychotherapist, and national advice columnist comes a thought-provoking new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world -- where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism : The author of the widely praised Wordslut analyzes the social science of cult influence: how cultish groups from Jonestown and Scientology to SoulCycle and social media gurus use language as the ultimate form of power.

Romance

Book Lovers : If Nora knows she’s not an ideal heroine, Charlie knows he’s nobody’s hero, but as they are thrown together again and again—in a series of coincidences no editor worth their salt would allow—what they discover might just unravel the carefully crafted stories they’ve written about themselves.

Seven Days in June : Brooklynite Eva Mercy is a single mom and bestselling erotica writer, who is feeling pressed from all sides. Shane Hall is a reclusive, enigmatic, award-winning literary author who, to everyone's surprise, shows up in New York.

science / philosophy

When god was a woman ; Here, archaeologically documented, is the story of the religion of the Goddess. Under her, women's roles were far more prominent than in patriarchal Judeo-Christian cultures. Stone describes this ancient system and, with its disintegration, the decline in women's status. Index; maps and illustrations.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle : A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field

Written in Bone: Hidden Stories in What We Leave Behind : Drawing upon her years of research and a wealth of remarkable experience, the world-renowned forensic anthropologist Professor Dame Sue Black takes us on a journey of revelation. From skull to feet, via the face, spine, chest, arms, hands, pelvis and legs, she shows that each part of us has a tale to tell. What we eat, where we go, everything we do leaves a trace, a message that waits patiently for months, years, sometimes centuries, until a forensic anthropologist is called upon to decipher it.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents : If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

feminism / law

Justice and the Politics of Difference : This book challenges the prevailing philosophical reduction of social justice to distributive justice. It critically analyzes basic concepts underlying most theories of justice, including impartiality, formal equality, and the unitary moral subjectivity. Starting from claims of excluded groups about decision making, cultural expression, and division of labor, Iris Young defines concepts of domination and oppression to cover issues eluding the distributive model.

The Hundred Years' War on Palestine: A History of Settler-Colonial Conquest and Resistance, 1917-2017 : Original, engaging and striking, Palestine – A Biography crosses historical events, never-before-explored archival materials and accounts of generations, dealing in a simultaneously sober and emotional way with the facts of a tragic confrontation between two peoples who claim the same territory.

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny : Misogyny is a hot topic, yet it's often misunderstood. What is misogyny, exactly? Who deserves to be called a misogynist? How does misogyny contrast with sexism, and why is it prone to persist--or increase--even when sexist gender roles are waning? This book is an exploration of misogyny in public life and politics, by the moral philosopher and writer Kate Manne.

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity : Since its publication in 1990, Gender Trouble has become one of the key works of contemporary feminist theory, and an essential work for anyone interested in the study of gender, queer theory, or the politics of sexuality in culture. This is the text where Judith Butler began to advance the ideas that would go on to take life as "performativity theory," as well as some of the first articulations of the possibility for subversive gender practices

Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of "Sex" : In Bodies That Matter, renowned theorist and philosopher Judith Butler argues that theories of gender need to return to the most material dimension of sex and sexuality: the body. Butler offers a brilliant reworking of the body, examining how the power of heterosexual hegemony forms the "matter" of bodies, sex, and gender. Butler argues that power operates to constrain sex from the start, delimiting what counts as a viable sex.

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot : oday's feminist movement has a glaring blind spot, and paradoxically, it is women. Mainstream feminists rarely talk about meeting basic needs as a feminist issue, argues Mikki Kendall, but food insecurity, access to quality education, safe neighborhoods, a living wage, and medical care are all feminist issues. All too often, however, the focus is not on basic survival for the many, but on increasing privilege for the few.

Aquí no ha habido muertos : El ciclo de terror, corrupción y tragedia impulsado por las drogas en Colombia no terminó con la muerte de Pablo Escobar en 1993. Justo cuando los colombianos estaban listos para dejar atrás el legado asesino de los cárteles del país, se desarrolló un nuevo y sangriento capítulo. A fines de la década de 1990, los grupos paramilitares de derecha con estrechos vínculos con el negocio de la cocaína llevaron a cabo una campaña de expansión violenta, masacrando, violando y torturando a miles de personas.

Poem

Good Grief : When Brianna Pastor released her self-published poetry collection, Good Grief, she was blown away by the outpouring of support from people who reached out and said, “Yes. Me too.” For anyone who has struggled with questions of identity or coped with serious emotional issues, including grief, trauma, anxiety, and depression, this collection will help you find hope on the other side.

Instructions for Traveling West: Poems ; A vivid and inspiring poetry collection about what’s possible when we heed our instincts and honor our intuition, allowing ourselves to strike out for new territories of love, pleasure, and peace.

omg i just ove books xoxo ana

reading playlist +

[marlboroenjoyer]

let me show you my thanks

so here is part two to 'cat got your tongue' i love miguel and i dunno maybe this was ooc but its my first smut fic with him be gentle. also i tried desperately to get like actually grammatically correct and normal sounding spanish from a bunch of different websites; so i really apologize in advance if it sounds disjointed or weird. im a patehtic monolingual individual :(.

summary [2.9k words] - you took an unannounced break from the spider-society after the fiasco that was your last meeting with miguel. he wants to show you just how thankful he is for you.

warnings - 18+ (if you're a minor and i see you interacting with my stuff you're getting blocked). SHARP TEETH BABY RAAAAHHHHHHHHH, inappropriate use of venom, slight degredation if you squint.. nsfw under the cut!

you were on autopilot for the next few days after your conversation? argument? with miguel. you were home in your own universe; you had shucked the gizmo off your wrist the second your feet landed in your small apartment. you didn’t even want to think about miguel let alone get contacted by the man so you shed your brain of anything involving hq. the days consisted of bouncing between your mattress and your desktop, occasionally fighting whatever enemy decided to break your peace. it was nice to fall back into your once usual routine before your discovery of the spider-society. and it was even nicer to finally have a little peace of mind. not thinking about miguel had made everything a little easier.

you weren't worried about his reactions to anything. you weren't concerned about his hair trigger temper; about whether or not something you said would set him off. there was the smallest licks of anxiety in the back of your mind as the radio silence was unnerving to a degree, you had grown accustomed to hearing lylas cheerful voice break into your mind. it was easy to shake those feelings though; spending the mostly quiet evenings catching up on shows or games you just simply hadn’t had to time for anymore. 

it had been storming all day, and you had found out after talking with other spider-people, that you had gotten quite lucky with your version of new york. the storms never pulled more trouble out of the damp dark cracks of the city, if anything it deterred them. the city life was hushed by the gray gloomy skies spitting fat raindrops at your window. you felt something ping up your spine as you were sitting at your desktop. it wasn’t the same feeling you got when you sensed some form of danger; this surge of nerves was telling you something was off today. before you could even get up from your desk chair, a large orange spiral of energy tore into your dimension; and out popped the looming man you were trying to avoid.

“you took your bracelet off.” there was an edge to his voice; something unknown on the cusp, threatening to fall out and into your lap. you didn’t dignify his statement with a response. you didn’t owe any responses to miguel. so you just stared at him in the silence of your apartment; his vivid eyes searching you for anything; and after a few more moments of silence he decided to continue talking.

“we’ve– i’ve– been trying to contact you.” another long beat. “you had duties to fulfill. you’ve been holed up in your dimension while i thought– lo que sea…”[1] his mouth snapped shut before he finished his sentence, cutting himself off before giving an exasperated sigh. his hands rubbed down his face, before revealing his eyes which were intensely trained on you. your expression gave nothing away, you were just going to stand aside and watch him fight with himself inside his head; or maybe he’d even just give up and leave. part of you hoped for the latter, but you also wanted him to finally be able to figure out how to speak to you.

“listen. i understand you were, shit probably still are, angry about how i reacted.” his words for grating against his clenched teeth and set jaw. clearly this was very difficult. “but i didn’t know how to react to the fact that you were a breath away from meeting death. i had come to terms with death a very long time ago. but i don’t know if i’d be able to get over it, if you died.” you continued to let him speak, watching him as he chewed on the words and mulled them over in his head. 

“you are so fucking annoying sometimes, but you are so lovely and you’re so soft. and i know you can hold you own but you…” you could practically see steam coming from his ears, as the cogs in his brain turned away trying his best to figure out how to express his thoughts. he stopped talking for a moment as he approached you slowly. “tenía tanto miedo que sentí ganas de vomitar.”[2] his voice was a fraction of the volume it once was. his hands gently grabbed yours.

“i’m sorry i was…more or less a dick. you didn’t deserve that, especially after you saved my skin. quería… darte las gracias por salvarme la vida.”[3] his eyes bore into your own. now you were genuinely speechless, and not just holding out due to spite. thankfully your body acted for you, reaching forward and wrapping your arms around miguel’s strong abdomen. you let your head rest against his chest and you waited for his reaction. after a few beats his arms wrapped around your frame. his head ducked down to tuck into the crook of your neck.

you whispered out a thank you, to which you felt a quick puff of air escape miguel’s nose. he couldn’t understand why you were thanking him. you pulled your arms back and over his shoulder, gently grabbing a handful of his dark hair and pulling his head back up to look at you. before he could say anything you lightly placed your lips onto his in a timid kiss. an action so tender and so soft, it managed to shatter miguel's heart and rebuild it anew. it took less than a second for miguel to kiss you back. immediately the atmosphere changed, electricity surging through the both of you as miguel deepened the kiss. his hands skated around your body, kneading the flesh underneath his fingers whenever he paused his ministrations.

your hands were still occupied with fists fulls of his hair, and you took that as an opportunity to tug on his hair as you two made out. his mouth pulled away from yours for the briefest moment; allowing himself to let out a breathy groan. his hands planted themselves firmly on your ass, squeezing hard making you yelp. as you both made out, he was backing you up into the wall; and before you even realized your back was pressed flat against the wall. his knee immediately slid between your thighs, slotting right between them as if you were made to fit against each other. 

his thigh pressed hard against your core, and you let out a stuttering gasp at the pressure. he gradually took hold of all of your senses. he was becoming overwhelming. you gently pushed against his chest, humming against his lip as his tongue continued to play with your bottom lip. he pulled his head away after a few more moments, almost irritated by the prospect of leaving your lips for more than thirty seconds.

“what’s wrong mi amor?” his voice had dropped a couple of octaves. his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you. “are you still hurt?” you shook your head in response. he had backed up enough to let you slip out from between him and the wall. you grabbed his hand and led him to your bedroom. the whole apartment was dark aside from the dim lamps you had lit scattered around the few rooms. you could hear the rain still colliding with the glass of your window, however that was mostly drowned out by the pounding of your heart. you swore miguel could hear it as well, which only made matters worse.

you had merely dreamed of scenarios similar to these, never once thinking they could actually become real. some section of your brain wondered if you were passed out in bed already. sure you and miguel were amicable with each other, but he was such a shut off man that you were never really able to characterize what you were to him; and vice versa.

the end of your bed came in contact with your calves, and miguel pushed you down onto it. you landed with a quite huff, while the realization of what was going to happen tonight dawned on you. miguel must’ve seen the deer in headlights look on your face, as he leaned down with his hands bracing himself on either side of your shoulders.

“i want to show you just how grateful i am for what u did for me… only if you allow me.” his face was nothing but completely genuine, giving you a way to say no to all of this if you really wanted to. you didn’t say anything in response, you merely wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back down into a much more heated kiss. miguel groaned low in his throat at the feeling of you yanking him down. unfortunately for you though, he started pulling away, instead standing upright once more to take on his suit. with a quick shrug of his shoulders his chest was exposed, suit still sitting low on his hip. not like it was hiding anything from you. you could clearly see the line of his hard dick straining against this unstable molecular prison.

“baby, if you want this to keep going… im gonna have to hear you say it.” the corners of his mouth were tugged upwards in a sly smirk. he wanted nothing more than to hear you say how much you wanted him at this moment. fuck he felt his cock jump at the mere thought of your plush lips opening to beg for him. he watched as you opened and closed your mouth a few times, observing the way your struggled with vocalizing your thoughts.

“miguel…” your voice was a pathetic whimper, and you squeezed your thighs together to alleviate your desperation. miguel’s practically rolled back into his skull, hearing you say his name like that– his big hand gripped your knees which had been brought up to your chest, his talons threatening to spring out and dig into your soft skin.

“say it baby. i gotta hear you say it.” he edged you on, his erection now pressed firmly against your ass as encouragement.

“miguel please… i need you so bad. dreamt about this moment.” your confession felt like a swift quick to the chest, successfully ridding his lungs of any oxygen. you’d dreamt about this before. how could he hold back now.

“dios mío… siento que un día me vas a matar.”[4] his voice was a mere growl at this point, his jaw clenched as he stared down at you. “tell me, what exactly have you dreamt about?” he shifted you further up onto the mattress, giving him the opportunity to box you in with his huge frame. embarrassment was licking at your subconscious like flames, making your whole body get swelteringly hot. but there was something in miguel’s expression that egged you on. you felt like you were going to die if you didn’t tell him.

“i think about your teeth…a lot… recently i’ve found myself– ugh this is so…” you covered your face with your hands before continuing on. “i think about you biting me…again i guess… i think about your venom.” you just never ceased with rendering miguel speechless, he guessed it was just one of your many talents at this point.

you were starting to get nervous about your confession. miguel hadn’t responded yet, but before you could get too into your own head you felt his lips ghost over you neck; right across the spot he bit you the first time. your breath hitched in your throat, and you involuntarily whimpered.

“you’ve really gotta trust me if you want that. you’d give everything up to me.” you only nodded your head. you trusted him; in all honesty you think you trusted him more than almost anyone in the society. you heard him click his tongue sharply.

“what did i say earlier? if you want this i gotta hear you say it.” you felt his breath fan over your neck, as he peppered small kisses all over it and your chest. you had wrapped your legs around his waist, and he was very gently grinding down into you. gentle vibrations wracked their way through your entire body causing small gasps and whimpers to come spilling from your kiss swollen lips.

“please miguel… i surrender everything to you. i trust you.” that was all he needed to hear before he bit down into your trapezius muscle, just like before. only this time you were much more aware of the effects now. he stayed like that for a couple seconds longer, before detaching from your neck and licking away the blood from the wound. slowly but surely you felt all motor functions slip from your body. you were overcome with this euphoric dullness, you felt like you were floating. while you slowly felt all control drain from your body, miguel was making quick work of your clothes, sharp claws slicing through your shorts and shirt like it was nothing. he whispered promises of new clothes as he continued with your bra and panties.

“how are you feeling mi amor? can you speak at all?” you acknowledged miguel’s questions with a quiet moan. as much as he wanted to take his time with you, work you up before tearing everything back down; he knew he had very little patience left, and limited time to work with the venom. your metabolism was extremely fast in comparison to the usual suspects he would subject his venom to, so he had much less time to keep you in this dreamy haze. he wanted to make sure the only word you could think of was his name.

the rest of his spider suit disappeared into nothing as he positioned you. you legs had fallen from his waist a little while ago when you first started feeling the venom, so he flipped you over onto your stomach. he arms wrapped underneath your hips to hoist you up so your ass was in the air, with your back arched and chest pressed into the mattress beneath you. he knew he was going to warm you up. miguel hasn’t exactly had many partners as of late but he was aware of his size. one of his hands found its way to your pussy, his other hand bracing your hip and keeping you steady. his fingers rubbing gentle circles into your clit. hazy pleasure rolled through you, like waves lapping at the shore. long strung out moans clawed their way up your throat; spurring miguel on. his fingers had moved from your clit, moving deeper in as they breached your hole. a deep groan echoed through to room.

“christ you’re so fucking wet. such a slut, ready to give up any control.” god his dick was painfully hard now. pulsing steadily every few seconds, weeping precum and begging to be buried deep in your hot cunt. he felt your walls flutter and clench when he degraded you, and he filed that information deep into his brain. his fingers were so overwhelming through the fog that settled inside your skull. your breaths had become erratic, chest rising and falling to desperately take in air. you moans were cracking, as miguel fully rammed three fingers in and out of you.

“i hear you baby, i hear you. im gonna take care of you.” he curled his fingers in search of that one spot that would make you see stars. it didn’t take long for him to find it as your volume increased even more. 

“m-mig…” you desperately tried to form words; to warn miguel of your rapidly approaching orgasm. you were fighting against the paralysis and the overwhelming floating feeling. your pussy clenched down tight against miguel’s fingers, a sudden wetness coating most of his hand. he pumped his fingers a couple more times as he worked you through your orgasm. once your breathing settled a little he gently took his fingers out of you. he took his fingers into his mouth, grunting as your taste flooded his taste buds. 

his patience had thoroughly snapped, two iron grips digging into your hips as he lined himself up with your aching pussy. he steadily began to push himself into you, breath getting punched out of him with every inch your hot walls enveloped. once he finally bottomed out, you both needed time to catch your breath. you were so full of him and you finally felt complete. the only thing you could think about was miguel. no amount of time could have prepared you for miguel to start moving. he immediately set a brutal pace, the sounds coming out of him resembling that of an animal. 

“god you’re– holy fuck- practically strangling me. greedy pussy just sucking me in for more.” you struggled to comprehend what he was saying. miguel curled in on top of you, pressing you flush against his broad chest. one hand started rubbing hard circles into your clit, whiled the other held you firmly to him. the placement of his arm across your chest allowed him access to your nipples, something he quickly took advantage of. he tweaked and pinched the hard pebble, as he struggled to keep his eyes open. he wanted to look at your face as he caused you to come undone for a second time. your mouth had lulled open, freely drooling onto the pillow beneath your head. tears squeezed their way out of your eyes.

your bodies stuck together, the sweat clinging to your skin. miguel continued to incoherently mumble spanish to you, and you were far too blissed out to listen to anything at all. the white hot coil in the very bottom of your stomach threatening to snap. you cunt fluttered and clamped down on miguel’s dick. it only spurred him on even more, his pace punishing now as he fucked you into the mattress. a long broken scream boomed from your throat as you came, your vision going completely white despite you eyes being clenched tightly shut. your eyebrows screwed up in an expression of pure pleasure. miguel slammed down fully into you, his cock kissing your cervix as he came with a loud moan. you were already so full of his cock that there was practically no room for him cum. he watched with wide eyes and his cum spilled from your spent pussy dripping down around his cock that was still inside you.

he let you both level out before pulling out as carefully as possible. the friction still causing you to cry out in overstimulation. miguel hushed your cries by pressing light kisses all over your face and neck. his thumbs brushed away the stray tears. he finally turned you back over, carefully laying your head back down onto the pillow below you.

“can you move at all mi amor?” your headspace had still not returned to normal, seeing as how you didn’t really respond. miguel got up from the bed and quietly padded over to your kitchen. you whimpered out for him to return, not enjoying the silence of being alone in the room in this loopy headspace you’ve found yourself in. a few moments later he returned to the room, a cup of water and warm washcloth in his hands. the bed dipped underneath the weight of his body as he set the cup of water on the table for a moment and began working on getting you clean. once this was done he flung the now dirty washcloth into your hamper.

his strong arms shifted you for the last time that night, leaning you against him with your head cradled against his chest once he had gotten comfortable. with you in this position he reached over to grab the water and pressed the rim to your bottom lip, silently offering. you dipped your head back just enough to take a couple of careful sips before relaxing your head against him once again. with the rain as white noise in the background you drifted in and out of consciousness. 

“gracias, mi amor.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[1] - whatever

[2] - i was so scared that i felt like vomiting

[3] - i wanted... to thank you for saving my life

[4] - dear god... why do i get the feeling you're going to be the death of me