#hopefully with school ending i should be able to post more

[iunpackmyadjectives]

I know it’s highly unlikely now, but I did like the idea of Pixal working for the administration(close up under the cut)

[dunmeshistash]

Hi, so recently there was a dunmeshi signing (?) event with Ryoko Kui in Korea. And I have found some posts from korean fans about their experience and a bunch of illustrations. @Dgae_715 is the acc on twitter i have found most of information from reposts. But basically here are the most relevant facts that I have found (Please note that they may be inaccurate due to me relying on online translator):

A fan asked if post canon Falin will live longer, Ryoko Kui basically answered “maybe so, right?”

The same fan asked if Thistle without desire will able to live happily with the care of others, and as far as I got she said “I hope so”.(Note: I am really not sure if I got this one right at all) The fan themselves said the way Ryoko Kui answered was rather unprepared, so she may not have an answer in mind really on such specific questions.

Another fan asked how Mithrun is in post canon, Ryoko Kui said that he is doing well, working and pursuing hobbies.

Somebody asked Mithruns about strength, he is weaker than a soldier, even though he is got the fighting skills, but he developed them mostly because of his sense of professionalism (?), rather than for fighting.

Past Mithrun didn’t really fight that much, he was mostly an investigator(?), he rarely had to fight in the rear(?) units.

Apparently Falin’s chimera form can get oily, so she repells water a bit

In real life, Marcille would be a med school research student, while Laios would be a “furita” (basically a freelancer with no stable income)

Someone said if Ryoko Kui considered a bad ending for Falin, and Ryoko Kui said she, as an author wanted a happy ending, but in case of Falin, she was worried after the ending (14 volume or later?), but overall she thinks it turned out well. (I think the after the ending refers to her post canon fate, and maybe thats why Ryoko kui did an extra on that specifically later on) 8. Also someone asked if Ryoko Kui would eat the dishes from dunmeshi, and she replied she is a picky eater, and she also said to someone that she drew dishes that she liked and disliked in dunmeshi (I bet she doesnt like fruitcakes).

(Note: There is a 90% chance I got this completely wrong, translator was struggling a LOT here) Someone asked about what Laios is good at, she replied “when he is a party member”. 9. She also likes Lord of the Rings and Wizardly 6(?), and she likes Skip and Loather

When asked about what word definies Laios, she said he is actually a normal/usual person(?). I have lost the post with this specific answer, so I am going by my memory;-;

Some fan showed her that picture with Tennant Chilchuck, she didnt recognise the actor unfortunately. Also apparently this meme originated from Korean dunmeshi fandom???

There were other questions and answers too, but they mostly about Ryoko Kui. And I also may have forgotten to add some;-; Also some fan suggested to Ryoko Kui that Falin in the real life should be a dentist by the way she makes them drool(????I think they meant it in non-sexual manner, like an excited dog), they kind of laughed about it. Also Ryoko Kui drew Falin the most(?) for signing postcards, other characters, and only 5-6 Senshis, 2 Winged Lions

Anonymous asked: The same anon with Korean sign event ask. I knew I forgot something, but basicaly some fan showed Ryoko Kui the day dream picture that most of fandom presumes to be a Chilchuck’s wife and asked if its true, she answered “Its up to your imagination”. So basically neither no or yes

Thank you! I LOVE SKIP AND LOAFER WEEEE

Hopefully we get some more corroborating translations for the bits you're not sure!

[rwbie]

Words || Iso x reader ||

Iso x reader - School AU

Posts on Iso have been very slow lately and I've been compelled to write one myself. I write to fulfill my fantasies and maybe yours too? I am an English learner so feel free to give feedback or shit on it. If you like it, please like the post so I know <3 ^^

- Not proofread

"I love you..." The last thing you heard from Zhou Yu before you stupidly ran away.

It was a mistake to run away... Zhou Yu had confessed a few weeks ago, and you were left shocked. How could someone like him love you? In a result to that, when he did confess you panicked and ran away. You deeply regrated that, after time to yourself you realized contact with him had been cut off since that day. You tried texting him, but you were blocked. Going up to him? He wouldn't even look at you. Ouch...

You had a back up plan, writing a note and slipping it in his bag... hopefully he'd read it and give you a chance. While walking to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends you saw him leave his bag in the classroom, this was your chance. So you went in and left the note. This is what it read:

Li Zhou Yu, I'm sorry, I ran away after our most recent interaction. I hope this didn't rub off in the wrong way, I guess I'm just shocked. I wish I could talk to you again after that, but I lost touch with you, and you wouldn't even look at me in school. I'll be at the park tonight, usual place and time... will you be there?

And it ended with your signature... Once the note was dropped, all you had to do was wait until after school... But would he really go? So you went to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends and let the day pass by.

𓇢𓆸

Later that night, the sun had set and you sat on a swing that you would usually chill at. The moon was full and lit up the night beautifully, the stars barely making it through the light pollution. Checking your phone, it was getting late... Maybe he wasn't going to show up after all? Should you just leave...?

𓇢𓆸

Light footsteps were heard to your right. Surely it was him right? Your gaze fixated on the moon, the footsteps stopped followed by a heavy sigh. Definitely him... Hesitantly you look over to where the sound came from, and there he stood, his hands in the uniforms pocket, he said nothing. He leaned against the support of the swing.

"Zhou Yu...," You said quietly staring at his eyes that were perfectly captured by the moon.

He didn’t say anything at first he just continued to stare at you.. he was quiet, he was still upset. Then he spoke, "Why did you do that?"

"I'm sorry...," You paused and turned your head away breaking the stare. That's all you were able to say in the moment. Pathetically coming up with an excuse you still spoke quietly, "I panicked..."

He looked at you as you turned your head away from the eye contact. Letting out a scoff before he spoke again, his tone was a bit more serious this time, "Is this why you ran away and avoided everything I did? Were you just embarrassed after I told you how I felt?"

"No, no… I just needed some time to myself, I needed to process everything. I tried talking to you but it seemed like you didn't care, you just ignored me. You even blocked my number..."

"Because you ran away after I told you how I felt, and disappeared to who knows where, not speaking to me for days. You are really a jerk...," He said in a slightly rude tone, he was clearly annoyed.

"Sorry, I didn't want it to look like that, it's just..." Your hands slid down the chains of the swing, "Damn, I don't even know how to put it into words..." You mumbled to yourself and paused, having to put your thoughts into words. Something you do often, he knew that. You looked back at him.

"Zhou Yu... I do love you. I'm panicked. I'm just shocked how someone like you could love me...I don't understand why. What do you see in me? I- I'm sorry for running away. I'm such a coward..." She mumbled that last part, her eyes getting slightly watery.

As much as he was annoyed, he listened to what you had to say, looking into your now watery eyes. He sighed, "I love you because you always treat me tenderly. Every time I'm with you, I'm always very happy. I love the way you look. Every time I'm with you, I feel meaningful..."

He gently grabbed one of your hands.

Your gaze softened hearing what he said, you didn't expect him to actually respond to that question... you glanced at his hand that grabbed yours. You hated being so emotional. Yet again, he left you lost for words, but this time you wouldn't run away. Not again...

He held your hand tighter, he pulled you towards him. He put his other hand under your chin and made you look up to him..

"I know you feel shy easily…but I didn't know you could be so scared…"

He paused for a second, looking at your watery eyes..

"Are you really worried about why I like you…?"

Using your other hand you moved his away from your face, turning your head away again not sure if you could face him again before bursting into tears, "I-I just… I'm surprised, I believe you can find someone better than me…"

He watched as you turned your head, looking away.

He let out a scoff again, he firmly grabbed your chin and turned you to look back at him.

He pulled you even closer to him. You looked up at him.

"Stop worrying about me finding someone else, because I just want you, no one else, just you."

As he made you look at him again, you broke... Tears slowly flowing down your face, you muttered your words, "停止，停止……" (Stop, stop)

He saw as you began to cry... Seeing you cry made his heart ache, he had never seen you cry before... He wiped some of your tears away with his thumb, he then spoke in a gentle tone

"Don't cry... Don't cry..."

The last time he had seen you cry was in primary school over some stupid reason, but now is it still a stupid reason? Though your face was towards him, your eyes looked away not being able to meet his gaze.

He noticed that you still looked away…

He pulled you even closer to him, he moved your arms and wrapped them around his waist, so that your face was now pressed onto his chest. He pulled you up from the swing, pulling you into a hug. You mumbled to yourself as the tears still ran down your face, "I hate the way you make me feel…"

"Hey... don't say that."

He gently ran his fingers through your hair, he could hear you mumbling against his chest, he let you lean against him, he felt how tears were still streaming down your face on to his shirt yet, he held you tight...

He pulled away slightly so he could look at your face. He gently held your chin, tilting your head up, he looked down at you. Your face tear-stained. Your eyes were red and a bit puffy, you looked at him in the eyes this time. You spoke softly, "why do you make me feel like this…?"

That was something he couldn't answer, nor were you expecting one.

He decided to stay silent and comfort you, you needed it. As you looked up at him, he gently wiped the remaining tears on your cheeks. He could see how your eyes were red and a little puffy. He stayed quiet, as you spoke softly, he gently caressed your face. He knew you didn't expect an answer from him.... So he just stayed silent, letting you speak what was on your mind.

"Every time you come near me, I feel pain in my chest… and when you look at me, it speeds up. Every time I see you, I feel excited… but for me, this feeling is a bit scary…," You spoke in a soft tone, your voice slightly shaky, you looked at him with watery eyes.

He just stood there, listening to what you had to say, you always called him a good listener... as he continued caressing your face with his hand.

"我爱你..." You said quietly still looking at him. (I love you)

He felt and heard as you said those words to him. Seeing and hearing you say it to him, made his heart beat faster...

He gave you a gentle and warm smile, and he pulled you closer to him, he held the back of your head with his hand, he gently caressed you and pulled you into another tight hug..

He spoke in a soft and gentle tone "我也爱你…" (I love you too)

You held each other for a bit longer before you spoke up breaking the comforting silence, "So…what are we? What do you want to be?"

He held you tightly in his arms for a while longer, he then leaned back a bit. He looked down at you and he replied, "I want to be your boyfriend, if you'll let me be..."

You were stunned yet again, "Yes, yes, I'd love that…"

[faetaiity]

As much as I adore yan/turtles, Casey doesn't get as much love as he should. So may I kindly request a yandere casey one shot?

<3 anon

HELLOOOOO I AM BACK (hopefully) FROM THE UNDERWORLD CALLED BURNOUT I wasn't truly able to make a one-shot bc I actually haven't thought about what kind of Yan Casey is, so I think this'll prolly be a Headcanon post with a small story at the end kjgfjlklkgt, sorry :')

✩ Yan! Casey Jones Jr x Gender-Neutral! Reader ✩

Story Format: Mostly Headcanons

TW: Manipulation, Guilt-Tripping, Panic Attacks, Yandere (Obv-) and Mentions of Trauma for Casey

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

I feel like Casey would be an (Unintentional) Manipulative, Isolating, and Paranoid Yan

He's heard so much about you from Future! Leo and Mikey in the bad timeline...

You probably let him stay at your apartment while the Turtles set up a room for him

I also feel like the first signs that he's slowly downwardly spiraling into toxic love is when you try to leave the apartment for work/school/errands

He flips his shit, still in the Apocalypse mindset of 'Don't go alone, you'll fucking die via the Kraang'

He has a panic attack, and you have to stay to help him because he is sobbing and begging you not to leave

He calms down after a bit, clinging to you as he begs you to stay for a bit more, or take him with you

He can keep you safe, you say you can defend yourself but he's adamant

He doesn't tell you why he freaks out when you leave specifically, but it's traumatic for him knowing you died in his timeline

If you end up staying, it's kind of like when you reinforce a dog's bad behavior, they'll do it more, thinking you will comply

Anytime you try to leave without him now, he sobs crocodile tears and begs you not to, it's gotten so bad that he doesn't even have the panic attacks anymore, he's faking it knowing you'll stay if he makes you believe he is.

He finds you trying to comfort him a euphoric situation, furthering his "love"

If you call his bluff, he'll immediately go back to actual panic attacks though

He gets defensive if you have any friends over that aren't April or the Turtles

He doesn't trust them, his memories of the Apocalypse made him wary of almost everyone, he's seen other survivors kill those he loves or knew from the Resistance

He can't let you meet a similar fate in this timeline

If you're a push-over, this can boil over into him being wary of everyone except Michelangelo and Leonardo

It's awful at that point, he has bad panic attacks (Both real and Faked) if anyone comes into the house that isn't Leo or Mikey

Once his room at the Lair is ready, he refuses to go, freaking out that he won't be with you and you will be alone

at this point, it's clear to everyone that he's extremely dependent and attached to you, almost to the hip at this point

He didn't have time for relationships in the Apocalypse, this can both be an Advantage and a Disadvantage

He doesn't know what's the "right" way to love someone romantically and is immediately overbearing and panicky

But he also doesn't have the belief that you would lie to him, you're someone who can be trusted, why would you lie to him?

You'd have to come up with a good lie, like needing to take a shower alone (This is especially good if you have issues with sensory input regarding showers)

Better hope your Bathroom has a window if you use that lie.

If he finds out you lied to him, game over, he's throwing an absolute FIT

Sobbing, screaming, hyperventilating

The whole nine yards man

He won't believe you ever again, even if what you're saying is true

Goodluck, bro is gonna be watching you pee or something, yuck.

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

You had lied to Casey, you don't know how he didn't deny your request, but you aren't complaining

You see yourself as one lucky bastard right now.

Turning on the cold water as a distraction, you stare at the tiny window, also known as your ticket to getting the fuck out of here,

Climbing on top of the toilet, you part the small private curtains blocking creeps from seeing you do your business, opening the window you try to find a good way to fit through it while making as little noise as possible

Hard task when you're trying to fit through a window the size of two desk drawers.

You fit your head through the window, eagerly pulling your body through until you hear Casey knocking on the door

Fuck.

"{Y/N}? Are you alright?" He asked, his voice sounded concerned and mildly bored, like he wanted to be in there with you.

You don't know what to say, as a heave of air would give away what you're doing.

Trying to get through the window quicker, his knocks become more frantic, as he attempted to turn the doorknob, but was stopped halfway due to the lock

Halfway through the window, you hear him trying to beat the door down, you panic and try to hurry up your pace, abandoning the attempt at being quiet

As you get your knees on the hard steel of the fire escape, you scream as you feel him yank you back into the bathroom, you didn't realize quick enough, and were dragged onto the hard tile floor within seconds before you could attempt to resist

Crying from the stinging pain of hitting the tile floor, you look up and see Casey, his face red with anger and tears streaming down his face

"Why?! Why were you trying to run?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!" he screeched, he's shaking from the anger and hysteria he's feeling

You flinch from his loud voice, unsure of what to do now, he's staring at you before grabbing your hand and trying to gently get you up, which seems out of character as he's literally crying in anger

You don't get up willingly, which makes him resort to just picking you up and walking into your bedroom, setting you on the bed as he pulled out a pair of cuffs, panic jolts through your body as he cuffs you to the bedpost, he heaves a sigh

"Now think about what you've done, what you've done to damage our relationship.... I need to go cool off...."

He walks out of the bedroom, leaving you there for what will feel like hours.

You just had to listen to him, and would've been happier, now look at what you've done

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 21

Executive dysfunction is a bitch and can go to hell. I had something I could have posted yesterday while I was working on this, but no...

I am starting to wonder if maybe I shot myself in the foot with my tag rant as engagement for the last Reconnect AU was WAY down. But oh well. I can only continue to move on and hope I find new people who like my stuff.

All righty, my lovelies. We have gotten to the part where I was going to end it originally before you absolute menaces said you wanted me to continue it through season 4.

But here’s the deal, this story has reached nearly novel length of 40k. So what I’ve decided to do is call this the end of book one. And then I will start up book two, which will be through to the end of the school year and probably through the events of season 3. And then book 3 should take us the rest of the way.

I hope that’s acceptable to all of you. I want to continue it, but I think from here on out the title doesn’t fit Steve anymore and he needs a new one.

Now if you’ve followed me long enough, you know that I don’t start putting out a story until it’s done (if it’s short enough) or if I’m three to four chapters deep. So hopefully by the end of the month (if not sooner) you should start seeing book two.

I will run a poll on how you think I should do the tag list for it. But thank you all for coming with me on this absolutely wild ride. And hope you’ll stick around for the next two parts.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

***

Word had been handed down, Mindy Jones, Ollie Anderson, and Kyle Carver had been suspended with word that Kyle being the instigator might be expelled. For sure he wasn’t going to be able to walk in his cap and gown at graduation.

Steve felt a sense of relief and strangely justice too. Yes, all right suspension wasn’t getting expelled, but the kids had been punished. They didn’t try to hand wave it away.

Steve had heard that Mr Vinke, the math teacher, Mr Cole, Miss Lucy, and Chief Hopper had all gone to the principal and superintendent for all three of them to be expelled.

The suspension was a given, but the school district wanted to do their own investigation and then expulsions might be handed out after it was complete.

Steve didn’t have much hope.

Marty, Gethin, and Janice all sat with the Corroded Coffin boys at lunch, something they didn’t normally do.

“Fuck,” Janice swore. “Why I am more nervous about tonight than I have all week?”

Steve nodded, poking at his food. “I haven’t been this queasy since I took a plate to the head.”

Everyone winced and murmured sympathetic platitudes and other noises of sympathy.

“I think it’s because it’s your last performance,” Gethin murmured. “Your last chance to completely biff it on stage.” Steve and Janice looked at him in wide-eyed fear. He waved his hands placatingly. “Not that I think you will. Just that your brain thinks you will.”

Steve and Janice looked at each other and then nodded.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “That tracks.”

Eddie slid his hand under the table and gripped Steve’s knee. Steve covered his hand with his own and gave it a squeeze of thank you.

*

Steve scanned the crowd the second night. He spotted Jeff and all his family, Gareth and Gethin and their parents, Brian and all of his younger siblings, and what looked like his dad. Wayne shuffled in his seat nervously, having never been to a musical before. But still no sign of his parents.

His mom promised that at least she would be there, even if his dad refused to come. And he held on to that. He managed to make it through the show and held it together.

He went out to be congratulated by his friends and their families. Wayne brought him flowers.

“You did good, boy,” he said gruffly, after giving him a hug. “I looked it up and flowers are the gift you give someone after a well-done performance.”

Steve looked down at the bouquet of wild flowers and smiled. “Thank you. I love them.”

Jeff clapped him on the shoulder. “They might be a tad wilted by the time we’re done, because we’re taking you out to eat in celebration.”

Steve teared up a bit. “Thanks, guys.”

Gareth smiled. “You deserve it, man. That was awesome!”

Gethin nudged his shoulder. “We’re just waiting for Janice and Eddie to get done.”

Steve nodded. Eddie had to reset the stage for tomorrow and Janice had to get out of a corset and that took some time.

“Yeah, no problem!” he enthused.

Eddie finished first and came out to meet them.

“Hey, Steve!” he said. “Feeling famous yet?”

Steve laughed. “I’m going to get fat if this keeps up. First ice cream last night and then dinner tonight.”

They all laughed. “It’s impossible for you to gain weight, man,” Brian huffed. “I’ve seen you eat a whole pizza and didn’t even get bloated.”

Steve laughed. “Playing three sports does that to you. Hell, I still life guard at the rec center every summer.”

Brian eyed his lean form skeptically. “I suppose so.”

“Swimming’s fun,” Steve said. “And it’s not just for us jock types.”

Janice finally came out. “Sorry to keep you waiting guys. Sharing with Tammy Thompson is hell let me tell you. I don’t know how someone so tiny can take up so much room.”

“At least you don’t have to share the choir room with twenty sweaty dudes that wouldn’t know deodorant if it bit them in the ass,” Steve grumped.

Gethin shook his head. “Shouldn’t you be used to that from sports?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “At least there are showers after basketball. Can’t say the same here.”

Gethin’s lips curled. “Fair.”

Wayne clapped his hands. “All right, I’ve got us a place reserved, so we need to hustle. Eddie and Steve are coming with me.”

Eddie and Steve filed out with the rest of them and followed Wayne out to his truck.

Steve slid into the middle between Eddie and Wayne.

“Thanks for this, Wayne,” he murmured. “And the flowers, too.”

“You’re welcome, Stevie,” he said. “I didn’t see your parents. Did they show up last night?”

Steve shared a glance with Eddie and then shook his head. “There’s still tomorrow.”

Wayne and Eddie shared a glance of concern over Steve’s head.

“I’m sure that’s the case,” Wayne agreed.

An uneasy silence settled on them as they drove to the restaurant. Wayne parked and turned to Steve.

He pulled him in for a great big hug and then opened the door. “It’ll be all right.”

Steve nodded and slid out after Eddie.

The dinner was just as ruckus as the ice cream parlor the night before. With just as many people. Steve looked around and smiled.

Yeah, 1985 was his year and it was just getting started.

*

Steve looked out to the audience and knew, even in the dimmed lights his parents weren’t there.

“Tell me, Mr Thomson, out of curiosity, do you stand with Mr Dickinson, or do you stand with me?” Vince asked.

Steve could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. He held up the dispatch. “I stand with the General. Lately–I’ve had the oddest feeling that he’s been–writing to me…”

He slowly rose to his feet as he sang,

“I have been in expectation Of receiving a reply On the subject of my last fifteen dispatches. Is anybody there?”

His voice cracked with emotion as he stepped half out of the spotlight.

“Does anybody care? Does anybody care? Y’r humble & ob’d’t–”

The drum rolled and Steve looked up into the eagle’s nest where Eddie was doing the spotlight. A single tear ran down his cheek.

Steve looked down at the paper in his hand and then back up at Eddie. And then he exited the scene on cue.

Eddie swore he saw more tears in that moment then for ‘Mama Look Sharp’ that night.

But that performance of Steve’s brought out something in Vince in that moment. Vince’s John Adams bid Hancock good night, but then it changed. All the emotion and fear of not being seen or heard. The loneliness that Adams must have been feeling in that moment, borrowed from the loneliness of both Washington and Thomson.

“Is anybody there–”

Silence.

“Does anybody care–?”

Again, nothing.

“Does anybody see–what I see?”

And then Kenny came on and delivered the line with a sharpness that hadn’t been there before.

“Yes, Mr Adams, I do.” As if to banish all the fears and insecurities that John was having in that moment.

And Steve could almost hear it as though it was coming from Eddie. As if it was coming from his friends. The party. Wayne.

Yes, his parents weren’t there. They never were. And probably never were going to be. But that didn’t mean that no one was listening to Steve. That no one cared.

They all cared. Every last one of the dozens of people that showed up the last two nights. They cared. They brought their families. Brought flowers. Thought he was worthy of celebrating. Worth treating.

For the boy with the bat.

The boy that never knew what love really was until he looked up from a god damned garbage can into those warm and friendly brown eyes. A warm hand on his back and a gentle ‘Are you okay?’

In that moment, Steve’s life had become changed. Different. Better. All because a teacher took pity on Steve and chose Eddie Munson of all people to be Steve’s protector.

And he looked up at Eddie in the rafters and though he couldn’t see him, he knew that Eddie was looking back at him. Smiling back at him. Loving him for all his worth.

And if you had asked Steve what his worth was back in December he would have told you nothing. He wasn’t worth anything but being the baby-sitter. But now?

Now Steve was a baby-sitter, chauffeur, groupie, actor, chef, swimmer, friend, brother, and most importantly boyfriend. And maybe if he was really lucky, someone’s son.

***

Fin.

Fuck, rereading this to add back in the formatting made me cry. My apologies if it makes you cry too.

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @garden-of-gay @anaibis @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites   @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @lovelyscot @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @jinxjinn @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @estrellami-1 @dangdirtydemons @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

[iciclehorrifica]

Holy shit I should preface I AM TERRIBLE at remembering I have socials to keep up with and forgetting to post whenever I've finished drawing something aksjdlaj but here I am putting my foot forward to hopefully start using my Tumblr more!

I've been wanting to use my Tumblr more because I really enjoy being able to write and talk about the characters I draw and my thoughts on story elements and yadda yadda.

Anyway, I had been drawing every day since the beginning of my spring semester for my classes and had kept that up even after school ended. I stopped though when I started packing my apartment and travelling, and when I got back to a place where I could draw... I couldn't like AT ALL.

I think my brain FORCED me to give myself a break. The idea of drawing at all was just BLEGH and after doing other things to relax and destress, I found my groove again and this piece was made!

At first, this was supposed to just be a simple headshot sketch of Ghost, but as I got into my rhythm, I returned to my usual habit of being a bit extra lkajsdla so I added on more until it became this really cozy piece featuring Johnny's tired confusion and Ghost uh... day drinking! :)

One of my favorite things to do with characters is put them in scenes that feel almost like game cutscenes and since MW is y'know a video game, I think it fits the environment and characters well! Also laying out comic panels is a bit tiresome sometimes LMAO

I hope y'all enjoy and please please I promise I'm going to post more laskdjalj

[deirakizuna]

Kalim's Birthday Fanart

As some of you may be aware already, for each twst character’s birthday i tend to make art of the birthday boy to celebrate, and my plan for this year was to use said art to promote different charities and local stores from countries in need. The next birthday on the list is Kalim’s and I wanted to make it special to promote a lot more charities than usual in a single post for the following countries: Iraq, Jordan, Lebanon, Palestine, Syria, Turkey, Tunisia and Yemen (I wanted to include Sudan as well, but I’m not sure if it would be okay to do so given the fact that it’s in Northeast Africa, either way I’ll be making another special art piece focused on African countries for Leona’s birthday but I really want to add Sudan to Kalim and Jamil’s art as well, please do let me know if that’s alright).

My plan for these is to put Kalim in these countries’ different traditional clothing (yes, all of them if possible, I like to put the boys in at least 2 different outfits for their birthday and I don’t mind putting them in more if given enough time), and while I’ve found something in my investigation I also feel unsure of how accurate said information is, as well as the fact that I haven’t been able to find good reference for each article of clothing (most pics I’ve found are low res and I can’t see the details like that). So, after consulting with my sister about it, I decided to make this post to ask for help for this, since I’m not from any of the countries mentioned and I truly don’t want to end up doing something offensive due to lack of information when my objective is to try and bring more attention to what is happening there and hopefully spread the charity links to help the victims.

So please, if you can help me in any way to verify the information I gathered or link me more sources and references I can use (especially if you’re a part of any of these cultures) I would be incredibly grateful!

Notes and List of sites I gathered and consulted under Read More.

Notes:

My plan for Kalim’s outfits based on the information I have so far goes like this:

First outfit: white Thobe w/ embroidered neckline and cuffs + red and white Kuffiyeh/Shumagh (possibly over his shoulders instead of in his head, but I might change it) – OR – Kurdish traditional clothing (sharwall, long sleeved jacket, dress shirt and pshtwen/pshten).

Second Outfit: simple white Dishdasha + Champagne colored Bisht (given his social standing, please let me know if it’s innapropiate) + classic black and white Kuffiyeh/Shumagh.

Third Outfit: Dishdasha w/ blazer + embroidered belt + Jambiya + Shawl wrapped like a turban (colors and patterns not yet decided).

Fourth Outfit: Jalabiya + scarf + skullcap (colors and patterns not yet decided).

I don’t really know if that number of outfits is enough to represent all of the mentioned cultures or if I should add more, so please let me know! I’m also trying to find more reference pictures so that I can be as accurate as possible, so links to online shops that sell these garments also work pretty well for me (preferably, with models wearing them so I can see how the fabrics and layers interact with movement).

Sources I’ve found/consulted so far:

Arab Clothing: The Ultimate Guide | IstiZada

Video: Muslim Dresses Around The World Countries 2022 | Islamic Traditional Cloth For Men | Islamic Updates - YouTube

What is a dishdasha and how is it worn? (custom-qamis.com)

What is the Difference Between a Thobe and Dishdasha? – newarabia

Bisht | Abu Dhabi Culture

Clothing – The School of Abbasid Studies

Home - Nationalclothing.org

Clothing - Kurdish Central

Again, thank you so much for the help! If you also want to send me links of charities whose proceeds go to the mentioned countries, that would be just as appreciated!

[slippinmickeys]

Prompt:

Mulder & Scully vacation Christmas/Hanukah at the Quonochontaug cabin post season 11

I got such wonderful prompts right before Christmas, and I was halfway through several of them when my kiddo ended up in the ER with the flu, and then my family and I all succumbed one by one. We’re finally at full strength, and I hope to fill each prompt you all sent at some point. Hopefully this festive one isn’t too late to enjoy.

Scully looked up at the constellations rising up above the line of the house’s roof, Orion standing just along the edge of the ridge cap, shooting his arrow into the onyx horizon. The Anishinaabe called him ‘The Wintermaker,’ and on this, the solstice, the longest night of the year, she could feel the chill he brought with him. She shivered, and pulled up the neck of her coat.

“Sorry,” Mulder apologized from below the lintel. “The lock’s pretty sticky. Hasn’t been opened in a while.”

“Wasn’t the caretaker supposed to get here before us and turn on the heat?”

“The ‘caretaker,’” Mulder said on a grunt as he pushed his shoulder into the now unlocked, water-swollen door, “is an eighteen year old kid still in high school. I think we’re lucky the place is even still standing.”

The darkened maw of the summer home stood open before them, and Scully, having only been into the house twenty years before with the whole of the Kingstown police department at her back, took a hesitant step inside.

“This is a summer town, Mulder,” she said, looking around dubiously as Mulder felt around the wall for the light switch. “Don’t they have a service you can employ?”

“‘Summer’ being the operative word,” he replied on a click, flooding the room with light. “In the dead of winter, the Quonochontaug labor pool isn’t exactly flush with candidates. I think we’ll be lucky if the trash bin isn’t full of empty Stoli bottles and dead soldiers.”

Scully made a face of distaste.

“Ah,” he said, blinking into the sudden brightness. “Actually looks pretty good in here. And I think the heat is on. Maybe I should give Logan a raise.”

Mood brightened, Mulder’s eyes rove around the room, all knotty pine paneling and 70’s decor. He reached out and ran a hand down her arm, smiling.

“Why don’t you take a seat,” he said, leading her over to an avocado green davenport. “Put up your feet. I’ll bring in the bags.”

“I’m pregnant, Mulder,” she said, rubbing a hand over the swell of her stomach. “Not incapacitated.”

He gave her a sheepish grin.

“Still,” he said, and she capitulated. It’s not like they had all that much luggage. She wasn’t comfortable flying in the third trimester, and so she eschewed her usual trip to San Diego to do Christmas with what remained of the Scully clan. Mulder had suggested spending the holiday at the house in Rhode Island and here they were, alone for a week in the dead of winter in a summer house.

“When was the last time you stayed here?” she asked, wrinkling her sensitive nose at the smell of dust, of mildew.

One suitcase on the floor at his feet, one still in his hand, Mulder closed the door behind him, his face ponderous. “Overnight?” he clarified. “I think I was nineteen?”

She imagined Mulder just before twenty, lifeguarding on the local beach by day. He’d have ropey muscles, suntanned skin—all the energy of youth, the metabolism of a racehorse. She preferred the thicker, more mature version before her, though his hairline was thinning and his knees ached at night; the version of him who lit candles for her in a church.

In the linen closet, they found flaxen pouches filled with brittle lavender tucked amongst the sheets, and they made the queen-sized bed in the back bedroom, the eiderdown quilt puffing up nicely with a few vigorous shakes.

Once settled—pajamas donned, teeth brushed, Scully found she didn’t have to move far in the bed to settle into Mulder’s side, the round of her stomach resting on his belly, her leg thrown over his. She’d barely be able to roll over without falling off, and she was pretty certain Mulder’s feet were hanging about four inches off the end.

“Your parents fit in this bed?” she asked him dubiously. “Both of them?”

He pet her hair, pressed a kiss into it. “It was a different time.”

Scully thought back to those sepia toned days and pictured the Mulder family summering here; the sliding door open to the Sound, the Eagles on the radio, cigarettes hanging out of everyone’s mouth. She saw Samantha on the beach in pigtails, Mulder reading a pulp novel in an Adirondack. There would have been Tupperware jugs of lemonade on the picnic table outside, the commodore of the yacht club dropping by for a gin and tonic.

She sighed. It was indeed a different time. Nowadays, puddles didn’t freeze in December and Fox was the only Mulder left.

She rubbed her stomach gently. Maybe not the last.

He shifted his arm until it was more comfortably under her neck and sighed into the crown of her head.

“I thought we could go get you a Christmas tree tomorrow,” he said. “There’s a farm nearby where you can cut your own.”

The idea sounded eye-wateringly quaint.

“We don’t have ornaments,” she pointed out, picturing a plain green tree taking up a corner of the small living room. She wasn’t really fighting the concept, merely tempering his expectations.

“We can get lights at the drugstore. We’ll make popcorn strings or something,” he mumbled. “I’m sure there’s some fishing line in the garage.”

The corner of the living room took on a cheerful air in Scully’s imagination, a small tree with bright white lights, a jaunty fire popping under the mantle. The smell of fresh pine would do wonders for the stale air.

“Sounds nice,” she smiled.

Mulder gave her a happy squeeze.

“I’ll get up early and pick up groceries,” he said with rising enthusiasm. “Hot cocoa and eggnog. Maybe some sparkling grape juice for you and the little one for New Years?”

It was sweet how hard he was trying.

“We may need something other than beverages,” she said pragmatically.

“Pancake mix,” he went on, his exuberance not waning in the least. “Or oh, how about those cinnamon rolls in a can?”

“Perfect,” she said, chuckling. Her eyes were getting scratchy with fatigue.

Mulder sighed happily, squeezed her again, probably assembling a grocery list in his head.

Silence settled over them and Scully could hear the surf crashing into the shore, the wind buffeting the eaves. The sounds were cold, but her thoughts were warm, and as her body drifted toward sleep, she pictured Mulder holding up a small child to put a listing star on the top of a tree, Mulder walking a toddler through the dune grasses, pudgy fingers gently clasped in the bowls of his hands. She imagined filling this old house with happier memories than it had seen in years.

“Hey Mulder,” she said, her voice slurry with lassitude.

“Mm?” he hummed.

“Get real champagne for New Years,” she said, wanting to toast this second chance. “We can handle half a glass.”

[extralively]

School Stories: Crush

Gojo Satoru/Original Female Character Pre-Relationship, Bickering, Teenage crush, Obliviousness 2372 words Also posted on AO3 Summary: Suguru comes to the conclusion that Satoru might have developed a little crush on a certain someone...

Honestly, I had the first part of this written for soooo long but I just hadn't been able to finish writing it for some reason (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩) I did end up sort of finishing it now, though it's shorter than I had initially planned, but alas. Should still be fun! Hopefully!

(Also, you may notice in this story that I mention a little something about how Gojo and Geto met that is actually all my own personal headcanon lmao. I don't think there's anything in the manga that necessarily contradicts this, but let me know otherwise! Basically, my headcanon is that they actually met a couple of years pre-Jujutsu Tech by running into each other, and Gojo immediately saw Geto's potential with his Six Eyes and started bugging him about it. So Gojo was the one who recruited Geto to become a sorcerer, and they eventually started spending a lot of time together and became friends, then ended up joining Jujutsu Tech together.

...idk I just like the idea that they knew each other for longer before everything went to shit, it hurts more lol)

Anyway, enjoy this silly little fic!

2006

It all started when Suguru came back to school from this one spring break.

...Well, okay, maybe it didn’t exactly start right then, but it sure got him noticing it more.

There were still a couple of days left in spring break before the new school year started, but Suguru had already come back to the school after spending time with his family. And as much as being with his family was nice and all... he was just really glad to be back in Jujutsu Tech.

So his first order of the day was to find Satoru so they could catch up—but the problem was that Satoru wasn’t at the dorms, and Suguru couldn’t sense him anywhere on school grounds. Well, Suguru had actually come back a little earlier this time around, and he hadn’t really let Satoru know in advance, so he simply pulled out his phone to text his white-haired friend and see what he was up to.

Suguru: I just got back Suguru: where u at

Suguru started making himself comfortable in his room, waiting for a reply. A couple of minutes later, his phone pinged with a text message.

Satoru: out

Suguru snorted—well, no shit. Satoru had too much energy to stay cooped up for long, so Suguru regularly received updates from his friend’s random outings—‘Suguru, I just bought new glasses,’ or ‘Suguru, they’ve got new Digimon figurines for sale,’ or ‘Suguru, I just got a girl’s number, and she has a friend!!’

...But, most often these days, Satoru’s messages seemed to revolve around one subject in particular.

‘Suguru, Wakatsuki and I went shopping, I got you a hat,’ he would text. Or ‘Suguru, Wakatsuki won’t let me pick out her karaoke songs,’ or ‘Suguru, Wakatsuki just fell asleep in my room watching a movie what do I do??’

If Satoru and Wakatsuki had unexpectedly spent a lot of time together last summer, it seemed that they were intent on doing the exact same thing whenever school went on break. And judging by how long Satoru had taken to answer his latest message, Suguru guessed the other boy was pretty busy right now.

Suguru: you out on a date

There was a pause before the next message came along.

Satoru: I’m with Wakatsuki

Suguru snorted.

Suguru: on a date

The next reply came hilariously quickly.

Satoru: no

Suguru snickered to himself.

Suguru: if you say so

Honestly, how had they even gotten here in the first place?

Last summer, Suguru had gone back home fully expecting Satoru to do the same—that the other boy would be heading back to the Gojo Estate during break. But then a few days after he’d arrived at his parents’ house, Suguru had discovered that Satoru had not, in fact, left school at all. After some prodding, the white-haired teenager had claimed he would much rather stay there than be forced to handle his family’s nagging face-to-face again, and had even rejected the idea to come stay with Suguru instead.

And that had worried Suguru a bit. Satoru, left all by himself at the school with no one around to rein him in?

A recipe for disaster.

Even worse was when he’d found out that Wakatsuki had also not left the school for some reason, and considering how she and Satoru had constantly been at each other’s throats during the first half of the school year...

A recipe for an even worse disaster.

Suguru had tried to assuage his fears by telling himself that Yaga would still be around, and that their sensei had actually developed a knack for keeping those two from throttling each other. But still, Suguru kept offering Satoru to join him during that summer, which Satoru continued to refuse; in the few times Suguru had brought his white-haired friend to meet his parents... it hadn’t turned out very well. Satoru was too different, too alien to get along with Suguru’s very normal parents, the small town they lived in too tiny and boring to hold Gojo Satoru for long.

So Satoru had stayed at the school all throughout the past summer, but at least he had promised to keep Suguru up to date with frequent text updates. That had provided some semblance of comfort to Suguru as he kept receiving reassurances that Satoru hadn’t blown up the entire school from sheer boredom, but then...

‘ugh, Yaga is sending me on a mission with Wakatsuki of all people,’ Satoru had texted him at one point. ‘I don’t need all the dead weight.’

‘Satoru,’ Suguru had replied. ‘Play nice.’

Suguru had been... a little worried. Mostly about Wakatsuki, because Satoru didn’t exactly know the meaning of the word moderation and Wakatsuki herself held no qualms about provoking one of the strongest sorcerers of the modern age despite their, ahem, differences in strength. And as Satoru’s texts complaining about the mission eventually ceased after half a day or so, Suguru had only ended up even more worried about what might have happened when those two were finally left alone with each other.

Really, Suguru had expected the worst.

But then a day later, Satoru had finally texted him back saying that the mission was done—and yes, Wakatsuki was still alive.

So that had been a relief. Satoru hadn’t accidentally squashed Wakatsuki while fighting, and those two had managed to survive being alone with each other for longer than Suguru had ever thought possible.

And as it turned out, they had done more than just survive being around each other, but Suguru would only come to understand what that meant after he’d returned from that year’s summer break. Because as he stayed with his parents during summer, Suguru had only vaguely started to notice that Satoru’s messages were slowing down as the days went on, almost like the other boy had found something to actually occupy his time with on a regular basis.

That something? Wakatsuki herself. And when Suguru finally returned from summer break, he’d been shell shocked to enter Satoru’s room to find them both there, watching a movie together.

So, something had happened during that summer, something that had eventually led to Satoru and Wakatsuki agreeing on some sort of truce between themselves. And that truce quickly evolved as they eventually became friends—real, honest, constantly bickering, friends. A true miracle had happened last year, and when Satoru wasn’t spending time with Suguru, then he sure was spending time with her.

...Spending time with her in a strange way sometimes... and this spring break hadn’t been any different.

“...I’m gonna take it off,” a voice was heard out in the hallway, and Suguru perked up. It was a girl’s voice, a familiar one—and accompanying it was a very familiar cursed energy signature.

“No, you lost the bet,” Satoru’s voice was heard. Suguru jumped up to his feet, moving towards the door.

“I’ve been wearing it all day,” Wakatsuki said. “I’m done.”

“No.”

“I’m taking it off—hey!”

“You’re going to wear it all the way to bed!”

“Says who?!”

“Says me!”

As Suguru popped his head out of his room, his eyes immediately spotted the two other teenagers standing in the middle of the hallway—and the ridiculous Digimon hat that Satoru had undoubtedly made Wakatsuki wear.

“You two look like you’re having fun,” Suguru greeted them with a grin.

“Yo, Suguru!” Satoru greeted back—as Wakatsuki sent the white-haired teenager a half-hearted glare. Her hands were raised up near her head, probably to take the silly hat off, but Satoru had both of her wrists held in his own hands to keep her from doing just that.

“Lemme go,” she grumbled, trying to pull her hands away—but Satoru was not budging. So she huffed, leaning backwards enough so she could raise a leg and half-heartedly kick Satoru’s side.

He still did not budge.

“Am I interrupting something?” Suguru asked, his smile turning sly.

Satoru seemed oblivious to what Suguru was trying to imply, so the other boy simply grinned some more. “Wakatsuki is just being a sore loser, that’s all.”

“I’ve kept my side of the agreement!” Wakatsuki called, and Satoru finally released her wrists. Wakatsuki did not waste any time grabbing the hat off her head and chucking it straight at Satoru’s face, then promptly rushing off to her own room. “Keep that Digimon freak away from me!”

It was hard to take her seriously when she stuck her tongue out at Satoru before closing herself inside her room, the Digimon hat harmlessly thudding against the wooden surface after Satoru had thrown it back at her.

Suguru snickered to himself.

...What a fun date it must have been...

-

“Satoru,” Suguru called, trying to contain his smirk. “You’re drooling.”

Satoru blinked, finally realizing he was staring.

Staring at what, in particular?

Wakatsuki stretching out her legs as they warmed up for class, of course. She had worn shorts today, probably due to the increasingly warm weather, and it wasn’t hard for Suguru to notice where Satoru’s eyes had been glued to, even behind his sunglasses.

“Shut up,” Satoru suddenly said with a huff, immediately turning around and starting to stretch out his arms despite not really needing to.

Also, the tips of his ears were definitely red.

Suguru snorted, and from the other side of the training grounds, his eyes met Shoko’s to exchange a knowing glance with her.

(It seemed that Wakatsuki hadn’t realized it either...)

“Satoru,” Suguru half-whispered, his smile turning devious. “Do you have a crush?”

Satoru still refused to turn around, just as his ears refused to stop shining red. “S-shut up. I do not.”

Oh, he totally did.

Suguru would have to admit that his previous teasing of Satoru over his, ahem, relationship with Wakatsuki had been mostly just that—teasing. It was kind of funny to think about how close those two had gotten despite the rocky start they’d had, and that they actually enjoyed spending all that time together now without complaint.

But to think that Satoru had developed an actual crush on her?

Hilarious.

Wasn’t Wakatsuki the one Satoru had deemed a complete weakling on day one? And yet, now here he was, desperately trying to pretend he hadn’t just been ogling said weakling in the middle of jujutsu class because it turned out he had a crush.

...Honestly, how hadn’t Wakatsuki realized it yet? Satoru wasn’t exactly subtle, and they spent a lot of time together. Sure, Suguru himself had only just realized it... but he was pretty sure that, in the back of his mind, he’d known that for a while now.

It really was that obvious.

Throughout the years they’d known each other, Suguru had watched Satoru try to woo quite a few girls by now—and it was always a trainwreck. Satoru’s good looks were forced to the heavy lifting for him like 90% of the time, because when Satoru opened his mouth, he was as overly confident as he was a socially awkward mess. Suguru found it hard to miss whenever Satoru became interested in someone (he usually became three times as loud and obnoxious, for starters), though he’d have to say that Satoru’s arrogance usually covered up for his total inability to talk to other people like a normal human being—the Gojo clan’s fault, of course—so maybe it went unnoticed by everyone else.

...But also, Suguru thought Wakatsuki was smart.

Had she noticed it but was ignoring it? Suguru didn’t think so—given how those two were always bickering with each other, he didn’t think Wakatsuki would be able to act normally around him if she knew that Satoru kept ogling her in class.

But... did she maybe have a crush on him?

Suguru hummed to himself, thoughtful, as he watched Satoru try to get a rise out of the girl in question. Like a boy tugging on a girl’s pigtails to get her attention, almost predictably so—but what did Wakatsuki feel about it?

It was hard to tell, to be honest. Wakatsuki was a lot more guarded than Satoru was, and Suguru didn’t know her that well. Suguru knew that she enjoyed spending time with Satoru for sure, but how far did that go?

...Hm...

Suguru watched as Yaga scolded Satoru and Wakatsuki—Wakatsuki having been successfully riled up by the white-haired teenager. Then he snorted when Satoru turned around and Wakatsuki raised a leg to literally kick his butt, before scampering off to hide behind Shoko so Yaga wouldn’t scold them again.

...Suguru would not be opposed to playing matchmaker if needed to, actually. Satoru needed someone who could keep him grounded—someone who didn’t really care about his status of being Gojo Satoru, and someone who wouldn’t let his strength get to his head. Suguru himself was trying to do his part in that, and the Gojo Satoru he’d first run into those three and something years ago was certainly not the same Gojo Satoru that existed now.

‘You’re strong, actually,’ Satoru had told him back then, and even though it had technically been a compliment, Satoru’s tone of voice had made it sound like a backhanded compliment instead. ‘You should become a sorcerer.’

Satoru had definitely mellowed out a bit from the arrogant boy he’d first met back then, and Suguru had worked hard to steer him away from the asshole that the Gojo clan had raised him to be.

...So it was kind of funny that the other person helping with that now seemed to be someone on the exact opposite end of the spectrum of strength. The fact that Satoru had been able to overlook Wakatsuki’s ‘weakness’ spoke volumes to how much he’d grown, and the thought of those two getting together now amused Suguru to no end.

Maybe one day, once Suguru was sure that the crush was mutual. After all, he didn’t want to ruin the careful balance that had been struck between Satoru and Wakatsuki last year in case he was mistaken. Maybe it would be better to just leave them be and see where they ended up by themselves...

...for now. There would be plenty of time for some matchmaking later, after all.

End notes: So that was that! I really need to continue writing the main story now halp

[sebastianstansqueen]

Lost in The Shadows Sixteen

A/N: Hey I'm back, this is a little bitter sweet I will post the final part of this series soon, but that maybe my last post depending on later feelings, I'll always keep this account up however just very little interaction, Tumbler hasn't been what it was when I started using it like 4-5 years ago, when I was a freshmen in High School, it was a lot more fun and had a lot more interesting stories being posted at that time, I haven't found myself coming on here intentionally more out of boredom, and even then I don't see anything I'm interested in anymore. But this also could be a hiatus that last a few months to a year I don't know, my app will still be on my phone so don't be afraid to interact or ask me things, I still have another project I was working on and then stopped, I've also been so busy with my Job, that I just haven't had the energy to Wright like I used to be able to.

Wordcount: 1,404

Warnings:  Angst, Guns, then obviously Brock, kid’s, possible torturer, , If forgot anything let me know please!

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// 

Tags:@cherryblossomsky- @babylooneytoonz- @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond- @leyannrae- @avengerlex- @pineprincess - @nik2write - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel - @sebsgirl71479- @missvelvetsstuff- @hadesownhell - @casa-boiardi- @winterslove1917- @hallecarey1- @ash-craze - @barnesxstan - @unaxv - @bethexo07 - @itsmytimetoodream - @sebastians-love -@stoneyggirl2 - @ordelixx - @arunabrak - @cjand10

Four Years Ago

After coming back from being gone for months verging a year, Steve seemed to show up out of nowhere looking for Bucky. When Y/n answered and saw the policeman, her already pissed demeanor seemed to intensify, as her eyes shot looking at him that he knew he should already be ten feet into the earth with, he. “What do you want, Rogers?” She hissed. “You couldn’t give a mourning widow and Pregnant woman her space?” 

“Mourning Widow?” He asked, making her eyes widen with realization. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, you didn’t know, Bucky and I were attacked in Romania, where he was shot… twice.” Her fingers knocked themselves around each other. At this moment, Steve was seeing the woman, and not the crime syndicate boss. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He said softly, not really knowing what else to say, he left to process what he’d been told.

A week later he came back. “I want all the information on Brock, Y/n, I want to help you finish this.”

_______

Y/n learned as much as she could about this new chest piece Brock had added to the puzzle, he had insane abilities that matched nothing anyone she had, Y/n wasn’t ever going to send her men, nor Natasha into an unfair fight. So she  decided that tonight, she would end this war that had taken her babies father away, and a good portion of her time away from them as well. They were young, so Y/n knew if she died now, when they were older hopefully they’d forget. As she busted her way through the doors of the warehouse, allowing only the moon’s light into the dark building she could barely see anything. She had her gun ready to go off as soon as she saw anyone. “You came alone.” Brock's voice echoed. 

“I’ve seen what your guy can do. I wasn't going to risk any of my men.” Her voice was cold looking for where the man could be.

Brock’s laugh echoed through the building. “I’m the one who sent Romanoff the tip, I let him be seen by her, Y/n, I’m the one who gave you those videos. I wanted you here.” Brock’s voice turned dark. “I wanted you to see him, come out.” The tall brooding man stepped out of a shadowed corner, moving forward in the darkness, Y/n was only able to see the outline of his foreboding frame, when her arm came into contact with cool metal, the shiver it sent down her spine was one of memories, of being on the sandy beach of the Island in Romania and Bucky’s prosthetic running down her bikini clad back, or when it was nice and cozy that one whiter night and Bucky’s hand reached to pull her impossibly closer. 

By the time her brain caught up with her body she was thrown on the dirt looking up into a cold blue eye that held the moon's rays in them. “Bu-Bucky.” It came out in almost a sob of fear, relief, and sadness. In his eyes however all they held was nothing, maybe confusion, but mostly nothing. “This isn’t you.” 

Four Years Ago

It happened so fast Bucky hadn’t been thinking, as Brock lifted his gun at Y/n, Bucky swiftly moved so that she wouldn’t have gotten hit, as the gun went off once then twice, and the brutalizing pain that went through Bucky’s stomach and chest was worse than when getting his arm amputated, then again that had been done when he was partially in a coma and by professionals, but as he saw Y/n’s wide eyes he realized that for her and for his unborn baby he’d do it again for either one. “Get out! Leave Y/n!” She began running on instinct. 

“Grab him!” Brock’s voice of frustration was the last thing he heard.  Before waking up to himself being operated on by Brock's guys getting the bullets out, he tried to fight them off but quickly found his arm was strapped down and his prosthetic missing. 

“Don’t worry Barnes, you’re gonna be very useful in the downfall of your wife.” Brock Spoke from somewhere out of Bucky’s view. “Give it to him.” 

A blue liquid began to be put through two IV’s and Bucky felt everything in him burn.

_______

“That isn’t going to work Carter, he doesn't know you anymore, we put his mind into a blender.” Brock spoke passively, fueling Y/n’s anger. She only needed to get him, she didn’t want to hurt Bucky, if it wasn’t necessary.

She looked around for an out, so instead She let a low pitched whistle through her lips, making Brock arch a brow, The door’s she had just burst through, came in Steve and a squad of feds. “So you work with cops now?” He recoils into the shadows for his escape. “Ascetic, atack.” And as if a wire was plugged into a TV Bucky’s eyes seemed to darken, as he began to stock towards Y/n.

Steve ran to follow Brock, before he could witness what was about to happen, and all of the feds followed him choosing this time to rade the building, all while she was there facing him alone, he quickly got a hold of her forcing her to the ground, she swiftly jabbed his side. “Bucky, stop this, you need to come home, we have two beautiful babies waiting for us at home, Autumn and Aiden, and they would love to meet you.” She spoke softly, leading him outside as she moved backwards towards the doors. 

“Stop acting like you know me.” His voice held virtually nothing in it.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” She shook her head. “So you can kill me now, and leave Our kids orphans, or you can return with me.” He faltered taking a step back when Y/n offered to immediately be killed, it was shocking, but he felt a twinge of something when she mentioned the kid’s being orphans, why did he care? He thought.  She could see it in his eyes. “Death and I have shaken hands a few times, I’m not scared, and I’ve made my peace, so if you're going to kill me get it over with.” 

He knew he couldn’t he knew what this would result in when he’d go back, they’d beat him for not completing this, this is what he was made for this is what they told him that he would have to do no matter what, and sure he could and had killed people before but this was different. “You don’t have to go back with him either, you can come with me.” She spoke softly, as the moon shone down on them and made her eyes sparkle, he just shook his head before bolting away into the night. Y/n on fast feet, chased him, she wasn’t about to let him go again, but she only got so far until she felt as if her lungs were going to give up and her legs felt as if any more movement would cause her to collapse, the red, blue, and white, of a cop car was flashing nearby, she fell to her knees, as Steve came and found her his hand went to her shoulder. “We’ve got Brock.” He spoke looking for any sign of Bucky in the shadows, but there would be none, he was so fast he had to be at least a mile away by now. 

She nodded, getting up and composing herself, before getting into Steve's car. He turned to her with a look of concern as he drove. “What is it Steve?” She huffed.

“Are you alright, when you chased Bucky, Y/n you both ran ten miles in thirty minutes.” Steve told her, making her brows furrow, it hadn't felt that far or short for the distance, but her vision had gone into tunnel as she followed Bucky back there. 

She just brushed it off, shrugging, but her thoughts began to stir thinking of Bucky’s strength at the where house, when he tried to force her to the ground there was no possible way to fight back, and his speed he was a decent amount a head of her though still in view, she had no clue what Brock had done to him and she didn’t know if she wanted to. 

[friendlybowlofsoup]

Addressing My Recent Hiatus

Hello Everyone,

I wrote this post thinking it would be quick, but it ended up taking me about five hours to put all the words down coherently. As such, I will put the TL;DR here:

I am okay, but I have been grieving the loss of my dog since last year. Writing was put to the background until recently, but I'm slowly getting in the groove again, so I can only ask for your continued patience.

I am still trying to figure out a good system to keep myself in check, but moving forwards is all I plan to do, so hopefully, only good news ahead ^^

Below is the full explanation of the situation, but serves more as an outlet for me than information for you. Feel free to ignore it, as I leave my send-off here.

To everyone, I am truly thankful for the kind messages and asks received during my break. Although you didn't know it, seeing those messages in my email and discord made me feel less isolated, and I hope to return your kindness tenfold through my work.

--

In November, my dog passed away in a sudden accident. I have parted from beloved pets before, but never in such an abrupt and cruel way. Because of Covid, I spent every single day of the last three years at his side, and within the first few months of moving out again for school, he was gone before I could say goodbye.

I have been struggling to process it. It feels like it was my fault, that this happened because I had moved away. I convinced myself that if I lost him because of my studies then I should at least do it well, and so nothing but schoolwork could lessen my guilt. Honestly, I still can't shake this feeling, but I also don't want to keep doing this to myself.

This past week was my spring break, and I have been working to get back to my hobbies. My family and I cried and grieved together, and my friends have been enduringly supportive--with all of their help, I finally forced myself to sit down and write after three months, and today, I was able to make this post to all of you.

GotRM will be, as always, slow-moving. School continues to go on, and I'm still not in the best headspace, but I will put in an effort to write more everyday.

Things are looking up. I am better than I was before, and I am happy to be back (´꒳`)♡

Expect some asks to be answered in the coming weeks! I am writing with a rusty hand again, so please critique me on anything funky as it comes up.

Thank you again for your continued support of GotRM.

- Mei

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week was one of my favorite episodes of the season, because it focused on the drama between the friend trio. We delved into how important they are to each other, and their boyfriends (or soon to be (hopefully) boyfriends) supported them. I'm still thinking about the narrative of their dish. Ten got clarity from Prem after punching Chang Ma's nasty ass out, and Fire has promised to come out publicly when Dy wins.

Pang is a real one for recognizing a double date and getting out of the way.

"Put some meat in." Fire, he absolutely will.

Hell yeah, Ten! Show off your boyfriend.

Get you a squad that will cheer for your happiness like this.

Dish 11: Or...The Three Must-Eat-eers Will Only Be a Name

I love Dynamite so much. He said, "Girl, dish," and then immediately got jealous of the PDA and ran for his boyfriend. Some people think it's annoying to have a partner tell you exactly how to please them. Could never be me.

Oh no. The Internet is clowning them. Don't read the comments, boys!

Look at Ten. He got worried about a piece of information he found. He asked for clarity immediately. He got it. He moved on. He is the best man we've ever had.

I'm loving Boyfriends Era for them.

Wait why are they in the school kitchen? Didn't we get into trouble for being here before?

Nevermind. There's the security guard. This got so silly.

In the school kitchen??? Boys!

"It has to happen sooner or later," is the exact energy I expected from Dy.

He kicked my boy across the room!! I see the mom will be our final boss for them, because staying in the closet physically injured Dy there.

Now, Ten, don't leave that sticky note at your house like that!

Of course the bullies posted the punch on socials. Hateful.

Terrible, Ten's dad was right that Ten caused problems for Prem.

Dynamite and Fire are so fun to watch at this point. "Fy, I got slammed hard. I need to be hugged."

Oh, I like this A-B framing of the doc separate from the rest of the group.

Gun is beautiful, and we should have him smile with the whole squad backing him more often.

I love Dynamite so much. "Learn from them, Fy." "Of course."

This producer is like Masks Off and called them lame! Hold the fuck up! There are multiple posts picking at the dad scene but we don't want to cut her for this rude behavior? Priorities!

I'm actually enjoying the drama of this for Ten and Prem. Prem needs to be able to stand up to criticism if he's going to be a popular chef, and Ten needs to reckon with his own stubbornness if he's going to be a good doctor and partner. He gets all riled up about his dad, but he thinks he knows best about everything.

Oh no, Gun is crying. My weakness.

I like that Changma and Ten praised Prem for the same things. That's a good use of a second lead.

Hey, I like Changma also publicly owning his complicity in this bullshit.

I love these three so much as a friend group. I'm glad we have a good baseline for the rest of the year.

Goddamn this practice is not going great, guys.

For a second I hoped that Metha would show up to help Samsee.

Look at my boys go!!

The staff at this place is so bad at keeping the audience out of the show. You'd think they'd have done that after Ten interrupted the first time. Still, I love my boy Fire going public on TV like this.

Just gonna point out that the show remembered the dad laid hands on Ten earlier.

I really like the end of this episode. Yes, let's face that problem immediately;

Wow, we didn't have an episode 11 breakup. This was excellent. Ten and Prem tackled multiple crises this episode with open communication and mutual support. Dynamite and Fire are thriving and taking cues from their friends. Both friend groups are starting to blend. Our boys came together in the face of public scrutiny and pushed themselves to a new level. I'm having a great time. I love that we have three clear final hurdles: The Bully Gang Food War, Ten's Dad and the Scamming, Fire's Overbearing Mother. I'm so ready! The squad is together and we can take on anything!

Regarding the discussion around the dad that @lurkingshan has continued, I think we're fixating on a single moment in a single scene way too much. The show is aware of the dad's hypocrisy, and is using it to force Ten to reckon with himself. He does not care about his dad like that. They didn't forget that he struck Ten, because they brought it up as they set him up as one of our final problems to overcome. I won't be moralizing over that anymore. It's good drama inline with what we should be used to.

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

A/n: Hi! This is my first time writing fanfiction and I will admit that the first few chapters are a little rocky, but hang in there and I promise it’s a fun little read. I tried to structure this story as a cutesy, lighthearted romance novel, and I think I found that pace later on. With some of the chapters containing adult content, I would ask that minors do not read or interact with my posts. There is explicit smut and fluff, and some intimidation in a couple of chapters. Other than that and the age gap (MC is 26, Javi is in his 40s), there are no other major trigger warnings. I also purposefully did not give the main character any physical descriptors, other than her being shorter than Javi, because I wanted whoever is reading it to be able to picture themselves. I found it too difficult to write the story from the perspective of “y/n.” I tried to choose a name that was hopefully racially ambiguous enough so anyone could connect with the character. Finally, if you do choose to read my story, thank you and happy reading! Summary: Ava Cohen is a 26-year-old production assistant working tirelessly to achieve her dream of one day becoming a film director. As hiatus from her last project comes to a close, she returns to set with Norwick Productions, whom she has worked with for the past four years. After a major fo paux on the first day of work, Ava is worried she has offended the star of this next production: Javi Gutierrez. She will soon come to realize, this couldn’t be further from the truth. When the cast and crew travel to Italy to film on location, the seriousness of what Ava is feeling becomes all too real, just as a new career opportunity lands in her lap. As tensions run high, watchful eyes set in, and her career is put at stake, can all of this be worth it in the end?

Content Warning: 18+

Chapter 1

I wonder if it's possible to drive with your eyes partially sealed shut. It should be illegal to be awake this early. 4:30am call time on the first day? I've been on more productions than I can count, though I fear this one will finally be the one to take me down. At least this morning we're on the sound stage as opposed to on sight in Italy. Maybe most 26-year-olds would be jumping at the opportunity to fly abroad with all expenses paid. But to me, the thought of being stuck on a steel tin in the sky for any amount of time is enough to make me consider throwing in the towel on this job all together. But I'm not going to think about that right now. I take a deep breath as I pull onto the lot. The first day on set is always the most chaotic. The amount of people who seem to forget how to do their jobs during hiatus grows every time we return. I can't judge of course, because I may soon be one of them. I've been with Norwick Productions since I was 22, and I'm already feeling burnt out after only four years. Granted, the burn out could be due to completing grad school homework until one in the morning, and arriving here before the sun came up. Regardless, my first stop is craft services for coffee. After I'm caffeinated and signed in, my duties pile high. As a Production Assistant, I'm given any and all tasks other employees didn't have time to complete. Sometimes the lack of time to complete the task was due to a lack of desire to complete it, which could lead to some pretty unfortunate chores for me. Picking up dry cleaning, faking tears over the phone to convince the fire department to give us a permit, walking talent's dogs, cleaning up said dog's poop, you name it. I even had to shave our leading lady's armpits. Twice. They take the "other duties as assigned" line on the job application to the extremes.

Talent is arriving in two hours and we still don't have everyone's trailer set up, so that is my first stop. The one thing I pride myself on is that despite being a major movie buff, I had an uncanny ability not to get starstruck. No matter how often their name was trending or how many awards these people have won, I always saw them as part of the crew. Was I a little rattled on my first set? Sure. But when you realize how helpless a lot of these rich actors are, the sparkle sort of wears off.

I typically never got a chance to read the script beforehand. It isn't a requirement of PAs, and in fact, we're not even allowed to see them every time. So until I have the call sheet in hand, I'm not sure who I am setting up these trailers for. And in my dazed need for coffee, I forgot to grab a call sheet (a huge no-no for PAs, but I'll blame it on last night's homework bender). From what I saw inside a few minutes ago, it looks like the first scene has something to do with the CIA. There were giant print-outs of the lettering all over the wall. For now, all I have to go off of is the CIA and the impending doom of travel to Italy in a few weeks. I finish prepping the two lead's trailers with a welcome letter, various snacks, and a copy of today's filming schedule. I check my watch: 6:00am. Still a half hour until they arrive. I tip my head back, taking in as much of my coffee as I can as I head toward the door of the trailer.

I swing the door open, and crash right into something hard. The movement sends my coffee splashing down the front of my shirt and dripping onto my shoes. "Shit." I hiss, looking down at my soaked t-shirt. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." A sincere male voice causes my head to snap back up. In my sleep-deprivarty, I didn't connect the fact that I had crashed into a person and not a wall. The man in front of me is taking off a pair of sunglasses, a mortified expression on his face. A face that I don't recognize. He's certainly attractive, and possibly in his forties? His dark brows are pulling together in concern, his brown eyes deep with sympathy. A rush of embarrassment creeps up my cheeks as I realize that I had walked directly into his chest when I was trying to leave the trailer. I take a step back so I don't have to crane my head to look up at him. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking." I say quietly, warmth still coating my cheeks. "You're sorry? Don't be. I wasn't looking either." He steps inside, ducking his tall frame under the door to enter. "And your poor shirt..." He gestures to my now semi-sheer t-shirt. I put my coffee down on the small table and cross my arms over my chest. "You don't have to worry about this trailer," I say, changing the subject. "I already prepped it." "Oh, uh, thank you." He looks confused now, and he starts shrugging off a backpack I didn't realize he was carrying. He tosses the bag on one of the chairs at the table. I notice he doesn't have a walkie either. He must be new, and sure to get a talking to by Lloyd if he's dumping his stuff in a talent trailer and strolling around without a walkie. "When were you hired?" I keep my tone casual, conversational. I find that I can deal with embarrassment better if I keep the other person talking. "About five months ago, I think." He starts to run his hand across the table between us, watching his own movements carefully. I get the sense that he's trying not to look at me. "Well, welcome aboard. I should warn you that the director is pretty strict about PAs walking around without walkies. Trust me, I got my ass handed to me during my first week. Super embarrassing." I roll my eyes for emphasis. He looks up at me then, his smile warm, and his tone carries a humor that I don't quite understand when he says, "Thank you. I'll keep it in mind." "No problem. Oh, and I'm Ava." I extend my hand and he takes it. His hand envelopes mine, and I realize in that moment that he is quite a bit larger than me. This realization, combined with the warmth on his palm makes me feel funny. "I'm Javi." He smiles again. "Good to meet you," I say, taking my hand back to check my watch once more. "Talent should be arriving soon so wherever you need to be, I would head over there now." I walk toward the door as I say it, taking extra care when opening the door this time. "I'm sorry again, Ava." He calls after me, his voice still just as sincere as the first time he apologized. "Don't worry about it!" I call back, closing the door behind me. I take the few steps down from the trailer, breathing a sigh of relief to be out of that moment. However, that sigh gets sucked back down my throat when I see the two words in bold on the front of the trailer I just left. Javi Gutierrez

And if my cheeks were red before, now they are maroon.

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

[yoonieper]

NOTICE

Hello everyone! Couple of things! Over the past week I’ve been busy getting ready for school and moving so I’ve been very busy and haven’t gotten much time to edit part 5 like I’d would’ve hoped. School starts for me tomorrow and idk how this week might go, so just to give myself a little more time and ensure you guys a good quality chapter I’ll be pushing part 5 to release this weekend— either Saturday or Sunday, I should be able to let you know on Friday which day I’ll go with!

That being said, while I won’t be dealing with moving and all of that, school is starting for me. The posting schedule unfortunately probably won’t be as consistent as I’ve managed to keep it over the summer while I was releasing it. Like I mentioned on the masterlist but dates are subject to change! Hopefully it shouldn’t ever deviate too much, but depending on assignments and all of that plus just any other stuff happening in my life at the time, the chapters just might end up getting moved. At most it should only be a couple of days, but I’ll let everyone know when the time comes. This shouldn’t be a problem for the last two chapters of this arc, but all chapters releasing from now up till the one scheduled for November 30th might end up getting changed!

I’ll try my best to stay on schedule and I’m really sorry about part 5! I thought I’d have a little more time this past week, but things didn’t go as planned ;’) I’ll be back Friday to let you know about the release date!

tl/dr: I’ve been busy moving and getting ready for school so I didn’t get time to edit part 5– should be released this weekend. School starts for me tomorrow so release dates are a lot more likely to change from here on out!

*Also, please make sure to send some love to Yoongi— I’m sure most people here know about what going on, but the letter he released today was heart breaking to read :(( if you have a little time, send a nice message over to him on Weverse!*

[riftwirecrystal]

NINJAGO STARSTRUCK AU - SPINJITZU AT 25:00 OPENING

This is the opening of the Ninjago x Project Sekai Nightcord swap.

Hey guys, I worked hard to make sure I kept most of the character's traits present, while coinciding with N25's main story. It would mean a lot if you stopped by to read a bit!!

Harumi Yoisaki

"This isn't right. Maybe if I…? Yes, that works."

My name is Harumi Yoisaki. I am a digital composer.

I would be a second year student of high school, but I do not go to school. I live by myself and complete online courses. My parents used to work in music.

I work in a group. We meet every night on our night chat, Spinjitzu. Ever since my parents were hospitalized I promised to keep doing what they did.

I don't live in a very roomy apartment. I barely pay the rent. Sometimes I will forget to eat.

But, I continue. Because I must compose.

I visit my parents sometimes. They don't wake up. They never will.

Because they are dead. And it's my fault.

So I continue. And the cycle will go on.I must compose.

Even though sometimes it's hard, I continue. Because this is my place. I will save someone.

I just need to keep composing. And soon…I will be able to save someone from the same fate as my parents.

They went out to drive…

"No. I will not think about it. I will keep going. I must save someone…

"My screen lit up.

"Hey Rue, I finished arranging that part for you. Do you want the demo?"

It was from L. He arranges my music and adds lyrics.

"Yes please," I wrote back. He sent the file, and I pressed play.

A harsh, but sweet melody flooded the room. The composition flowed smoothly with the arrangements L did.

"Thank you, L. It sounds good," I typed.

"I'm glad. I think I'm going to log off," he typed back.

So early? That's weird…"Get some sleep! You must be tired, but it sounds good though," typed Nyad.

"Yeah, I heard you had class tomorrow, so rest well," added PIX.

Nyad works with our other member, PIX. Nyad does the art while PIX does the editing.

We post songs and music videos on our shared account, S25. Usually I get slightly more of the cut we make due to my living situation, but I still make sure to give them the amount they deserve too.

We've never met each other face to face, but I find joy in working with the three of them.

Even with that, I'm not doing this for fun.

I must compose.

Lloyd Asahina

I logged off the computer.

I am Lloyd Asahina, a second year high school student.

I glanced at the sheet of music on my desk, then the workbook that’s shoved to the floor.

Guess I should do that then, huh?

I slowly and miserably picked up the book from the ground, then placed it on my desk.

But I couldn't open it.

I didn't want to open it.

But I had to, didn't I?

I had to.

I ended up finishing the notes and assignments I was supposed to take next week.

Hopefully that will be enough…

My mother called from the hallway. "Lloyd? Are you still awake?"

"Yeah. Just finishing some things for next week," I said.

She softly opened the door. "Good. I don't want you being all caught up with those people online again. You know what happened last time. You're so talented and gifted, and I want the best for you… okay?"

It's hard to fight with her. I gave up a long time ago. Now I only hide.

"Yes, mom," I replied.

My mother is Dr. Misako Asahina. She is one of the most famous and world renowned doctors in the world. She has no interest in music, and expects me to take a similar career to her.

But I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I am.

What do I want to be…?

But I continue to do whatever she says. I don't know why. I just can't defy her, no matter how hard I want to.

I'm supposed to be the best for everyone around me. Why stop now…?

I haven't known myself for a long time now. It's nothing new to feel like this.I can't help it. I still hate it.

But if that's the case, why can't I leave it…?Deep down, I knew the truth.I could not escape.

I have been forever alone.

I hate it.

I hate myself.

I have lost who I am.

Nya Shinonome

For forever, I have wanted to become an artist.

I have many names.

Nya Shinonome, for one.

But I can also be Kai’s sister, a little girl, the loner, etc.

I am all of them.

Yet I am none of what I want to be.

I do not go to school during the day.

I have never been able to choose my own path.

When I try, I am constantly told I’m not good enough.

I should give up.

I should stop trying.

I am not talented.

I am not valued.

But I persevere.

My destiny should be what I make. Not what anyone else says. I will be good enough. I can be good enough.

But am I really?

Yes, I always tell myself.

As I tell myself this again, I get a text message from PIX in the chat.

“Hey Nyad, can I see the storyboard you were working on for the next song?”

I quickly sent her the progress I’d made so far. “Here.”

“Thanks! You’re so talented, I’d never be like you,” she responded.

That made me feel a bit better.

Sometimes it does get hard.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right.

Sometimes I feel completely and utterly useless.

Sometimes I just feel like I want to disappear.

It’s the worst feeling in the world.

But I need to prove everyone who doubted me wrong.It doesn’t matter who tells me I can’t do it.

My parents, my teachers, my brother, none of them.

I will pursue my dream.

Even if it means I’ll have to fight all the doubts clouding my head.

Pixal Akiyama

I sighed.

Everyone else had logged off already.

What do I do now..?

I looked at my bag and remembered the schoolwork due next week.

"I really don't want to do that right now…"

I tried to ignore it and started working on the new music video. My name is Pixal Akiyama. I am a first year high school student.

I use my friend Nyad's art in edits for Rue and L's songs. Lately my inspiration has been lacking. I'm not sure why.

School life isn't much better either. It's been a while since I've talked to Sora… I noticed an influx in people calling me names and avoiding me too. I'm always excluded and made fun of.

I don't know why.

I miss my dad…

My dad is Cyrus Akiyama, a clothing designer with a very different approach to styles. He moved away to work for his company a few months ago.

I haven't had many people to talk to recently.

I miss talking.

It's been so long…

I miss having people to confide in. To run to. To trust.

No one accepts me. And no one will.

I am alone. Forever and ever.

[elizaditton]

Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 10)

Links:

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

- - - - - - - - - -

Biology is easily my worst subject, but it's made a thousand times more difficult by the feeling I get when my deskmate stares at me from above. At least, I feel like he's staring at me. I haven't been able to catch him yet.

As the teacher rambles on about the makeup of DNA, I begin to doodle absentmindedly in my notebook. A paw here, some jagged fur there, and before I know it I have a crudely drawn Catmium from Stranded. That's when it hits me. That weight. I slowly turn in my seat and look up only to lock eyes with my deskmate. My face gets hot and my heart bangs against my rib cage. I immediately turn back towards my desk. So he was staring at me! Was he staring at me the whole time?! Is he still staring at me?!

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my deskmate scribbling in his notebook. After a moment, he slides the notebook beside me and taps the page. I hesitate, but end up looking at the notebook.

Is that Catmium?

What?! What does he mean 'is that Catmium'?! I know pertheans have better eyesight than humans, but could he really see a little doodle in my notebook?

My deskmate taps his fingers on the desk, like he's waiting for a response. What should I do?! I cover my drawing with my hand and pull my notebook closer to me, and hopefully out of the boy's sight. I decide to try ignoring him in hopes that he'll just leave me alone. Fortunately for me, it seems to work as he eventually pulls his notebook back towards himself with a sigh and starts erasing what he wrote. I peek behind myself once more to look at him. His eyes are drooping and his brows are upturned. I bring my focus back to the lesson being taught and decide to pay my deskmate no mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Koronian was the longest class of the day just because I knew it would be the last one. At long last, the day has come to an end and I can say 'nokyer' to this school! Well, at least until tomorrow.

"That went by way too fast," my deskmate says as he walks down the hall. "What do you think?"

I sit still in his hands, yet my heart beats just as fast as when I first laid eyes on him. I keep my head down in silence, ignoring him, hoping he'll stop trying to talk to me.

"Miss Finch? Are you alright?"

"Derrick! Over here!" yells a familiar voice.

I look up and across the hall to the balcony, where Brittney is jumping up and down. I let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her, although seeing her boyfriend standing beside the balcony sends shivers down my spine. Brittney looks so alive and full of energy while he just looks to be... stoic. Maybe even a little dead inside. I have no idea what she sees in him.

My deskmate rushes to the balcony upon hearing Brittney shouting.

"Not so loud," he whispers.

"Oh, right!" Brittney says, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Here, Miss Finch," my deskmate says, placing a finger in front of me, "let's get you onto the balcony."

I reluctantly wrap my arms around his finger, the sheer size of it still somehow managing to take me by surprise. Really, how can anyone be this big? My deskmate lifts me up and places me on the balcony beside Brittney. Once I let go and he removes his hand, all I can think about is bolting for the nearest exit. I know that I shouldn't, however, as that would definitely alert my deskmate to my fear. So instead I stay put, keeping my head down lest I look up at the boys in front of me and faint.

"How was your first day back?" my deskmate asks.

"Boooring! I'm already missing New Year's break," Brittney says.

As Brittney and my deskmate get to talking about their day, the boy beside my deskmate remains silent. I've witnessed him staring at me on more than one occasion. Could he be staring at me now? My hands shake and my legs wobble. I don't want to look, but not knowing for sure is killing me! I slowly tilt my head upwards until I'm looking at the perthean boy right in his narrowed eyes. Yikes! He was staring at me! My gaze shoots to the balcony floor as my complexion turns a bright red. My mind starts racing. What could be the matter? Why would he just stare at me like that? Is he mad at me? Could I have done something wrong?

"What about you, Kaylin?" Brittney asks.

"Oh, me? What was the question?" I respond, snapping out of it.

"Do you have a favorite subject?"

"Oh, uh," I say, pondering for a moment. I'd never really picked a favorite other than art, which this school doesn't offer. "English, I guess."

"That's a good one!" My deskmate says. "I want to teach English one day, maybe in another country."

"I thought you wanted to teach Koronian?" The boy beside him asks.

"I did, but human languages are pretty cool," my deskmate says. "Besides, it would help the rest of Perthea to become more acquainted with humans."

"Awesome!" Brittney exclaims. "Well, although I could stand here talking to you guys all day, I do have a rail to catch, so I better get going."

My heart plummets to the floor. She's going home? So soon? And leaving me here by myself with these two pertheans?!

"I-I have to go, too!" I sputter. "My dad wants me home to help with dinner."

Again, Dad could probably care less if I was home any time soon, especially since it's only three o'clock. If it means I'm hanging around pertheans more, he probably wouldn't care if I'm not home until dark.

"Come on then," Brittney says. "We'll walk out together. Bye, you guys!"

As Brittney and I head for the exit beside us, I let out a sigh of relief. It's over. It's finally over.

"Wait, Miss Finch!" My deskmate says. "There's something I wanted to ask you."

I stop dead in my tracks. With Brittney already through the exit, I'm left alone with the two perthean boys. I turn around slowly, my entire frame trembling, and look my deskmate in the eyes. I swallow hard.

"Y-yes?" I ask.

"It's just that... since we're deskmates now, I was thinking we should do something to get to know each other better. Maybe tomorrow, if you're not busy... I mean, if it's okay with your parents..."

As he rambles on, I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to stop the shaking. Can't he get on with it already?!

"Do... do you want to maybe hang out sometime?" He finally asks.

Everything stops. All I can hear is the sound of my own heart beating a thousand times per minute.

"I-I..."

I stumble backwards, feeling for the door. Me? 'Hang out' with a perthean?! Never!

"No," I finally say, turning around and running through the door as fast as my legs can carry me. I have to get away. Now.

"Oof!" Brittney says as I bump into her from behind.

"Sorry," I say, still shaken up. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"And here I was talking to myself, thinking you were behind me the whole time!" Brittney says, looking me up and down. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I— well, no."

Brittney's eyes soften. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sigh as we walk through the hall together. "I guess," I say, rubbing my arm as the shaking starts to subside. "My deskmate asked me to hang out. I was barely able to tell him 'no' and make my escape! I'm relieved I was able to get away."

"You just told him 'no'? That's it?"

"Well, what else was I supposed to say? 'Never'?"

"Kaylin... I know things must be hard for you because of your fear," Brittney says, "but you might want to try and think about how you handle it. You might end up doing something that comes off the wrong way and really hurts somebody."

My heart sinks in my chest.

"So... are you saying what I said was wrong?" I ask.

"Not what you said as much as how you said it and what you did. You ran away, didn't you?"

"Yeah... but what if he didn't like my answer? What if he grabbed me and forced me to hang out with him?"

Brittney glances at me over her shoulder with one eyebrow raised, almost as if to ask why in the world anyone would do such a thing.

"It's just— I was scared, okay? I still don't know him and I don't want to get hurt," I say.

"I know. And there's nothing wrong with that," Brittney says. "But try to remember that your actions, whether you intend them to or not, can affect others. Especially your deskmate."

"Right," I say, following her through the elevator doors and down to the school lobby.