#hopefully this is the last time i have to address this bc i honestly don't care anymore

[ansu-gurleht]

Kojima literally retweets SamHiggs ship art all the time and once called it a “necessary interpretation.”

do you get off on being a hater for no reason orrrrrr…?

"Also let’s not forget Sam’s internal monologue in the DS novelization where he described Higgs as having “captivating red lips,” a choice of words that inherently implies attraction. You don’t have to ship it yourself but it’s so fucking gross to be aggressive to people who do, not to mention homophobic to tell fans (many of whom are queer) that they’re making shit up. Kojima would not approve of that kind of behavior and has always been supportive of fandom shippers."

including your other ask to just answer them both at once.

i don't use twitter and elon musk is an idiot so i can't even view people's posts without an account and honestly? i cannot be bothered to make an account just to verify this. so sure, let's assume you're right.

as i said before, i don't really care what he says on twitter or in the novelization. (and i don't think mentioning somebody's lips being notable "inherently implies attraction" anyway, but whatever.) in the game death stranding released in 2019, there is nothing to suggest that sam and higgs have any real attraction towards each other.

i honestly don't think i've been "aggressive" towards people who ship samhiggs? i've mentioned that i don't ship it and that i don't think it's well supported in the game. and you do realize that almost all shipping in media is "making shit up," right? if it's not canon it's "making shit up". and there is no indication in the original source material (death stranding released in 2019, or hell from what i can tell the director's cut either, or the novelizations if that's the best evidence you have, although i'm very hesitant to consider the novelizations canon) that sam and higgs have any real romantic or sexual attraction to each other. there is actually a lot of evidence that sam hates higgs intensely and would not go for him if they were the last two people on earth.

i don't really care who you ship, to be honest. i also don't care what kojima says on twitter. i'm not going to address your accusation of me being homophobic (???) for not liking a ship, because that's childish and completely unfounded.

i think the more interesting thing is why you are so upset about what a random elder scrolls blogger, who is not actually part of the death stranding fandom that you are, and has no social capital in this situation, thinks about your beloved ship. who's the one who's really being aggressive here? the person casually expressing their opinions on their own blog? or the person coming to them, on anon, to call them names?

[loumauve]

work colleague (the one who I'm working on a project with, who was supposed to be showing me the ropes - which she already barely did - who is supposed to be a superior while our boss is on parental leave) told me that I need to join the team leader meeting next week "so things dont escalate again" bc apparently her temper got the best of her (she told me this herself btw, which.. jfc)

and I feel SO uncomfortable at even the idea of that thats I've been feeling sick to my stomach over it since Friday. I'm still an intern ffs, I don't get paid to do her job, which is to explain what we're doing and to explain why we're doing it. I didn't decide on making this a whole thing, and I certainly didn't sign up to take her place while she throws me to the wolves (clinic admins who are pissed that change is being introduced to how they've been running things for years)

I know I need to address it, and at least tell my boss, I feel like shit reaching out to him while he's supposed to be on leave, but if I don't push back and give in now when there's also so many other ways she's been dodging her responsibilities then idk.

she barely communicates which is the basis for working with anybody, and even when *I* reach out she barely ever replies and leaves me hanging, unable to progress in certain tasks just bc I *literally* don't know shit yet bc I've been working there for a total of two and a half months max. just.. boss guy would be happy for me to stay on but honestly that lady has as bad a temper and worse social skills than the lady who made my last job hell enough that I was out of commission for almost three years, first on sick leave and then in various rehab/therapy programs just to make it back to being able to work again.. I really don't want to go down this road again

so I guess I do need to write this all down tomorrow in a message to him and hopefully he'll at least acknowledge that this is a shit situation to put me in and have a talk with her. but idk tbh. not sure what to do if he asks me to still join that group meeting on Friday, also terrified of her reaction if he does bring it up with her, ngl

last time she got "upset" she didn't talk to me for a whole day, didn't reply to my message before I left for 5 weeks and then still didn't leave a single message to explain where to continue in our project before being gone herself for another 2 and a half weeks.. that kind of childish pettiness idk. really don't want to have to keep dealing with her

lazy colleagues idk sure it's frustrating cleaning up after them, but this kind of behaviour is as close to intolerable as things get before I need to get myself the fuck away for good

[chirpsythismorning]

Totally agree with everything u said. Early mlv break up makes sense. A big fight a la Stancy, then let's focus on other things, please. After THAT ending, imagine Mike n El are still together "One year later" Seriously. I can't even imagine them kissing or holding hands atp. They would both feel miserable. We don't need Ted n Karen 2.0 in the last season. I think even Ted n Karen will be different in S5! Come on

Yeah exactly.

A big part of it for me honestly is not being able to picture El playing the part of presumed gf with Mike for much longer. Her arc is more than that and not addressing her side of things sooner than later would make the little time we have with her full-on independence arc, feel unfair. I don’t think they want the audience to be halfway through s5, just now acknowledging El’s side of things. Let it be abundantly clear where she stands and let her actually focus on Max instead of letting fans think she’s holding out on Mike getting his shit together until there’s barely any running time left.

Even despite things being referred to as fast paced for the first couple hours of s5, there are just so many things they left unaddressed at the end of s4. And I don’t think they did that with the intention to hold out addressing those things for another 5 episodes.

I even remember them mentioning Will’s arc being comparable to the Steve and jancy love triangle, which was not resolved at the end of s4 and how that will obviously need to be dealt with.

They left things super ambiguous at the end of s4 for a reason. And if anything them saying s5 starts off fast paced, means that those things they didn’t address are literally set up to finally be unraveled early on bc it’s what we’re prepared for.

I think if they waited too long to address either of those things, it would fall flat.

By the time mid-s5 comes around, we’re going to have even more problems and things to be dealt with. And being stuck still addressing a bunch of stuff from s4 would take away from all the new stuff they’re adding to the mix.

It all really comes down to the pairings and groupings for s5.

I do think it’s likely Mike and Will are going to be alone for a couple episodes. And it makes sense to have that midway through when him and El are already broken up so people can actually see them around each other without this cloud of uncertainty in regards to Mike and El still being together.

I am intrigued to see how s5 starts off.

I think the groupings are likely to be bigger early on, with them branching off by 5x02-5x03 until like mid-season or maybe longer. That tends to be the formula they follow every season so it’s most likely that it’ll go down like that.

And I think especially considering Mike and El probably won’t be together alone for episode upon episode, whereas Mike and Will probably will, it makes more sense to have that addressed on the Mike and El front, even if maybe Will is not fully aware of it?

The time jump complicates things in terms of being able to predict a lot of things yet to come. But if there’s one thing I’m confident about it’s that El will hopefully get to finally speak on how she truly feels about how things ended in s4, and before a time jump, as opposed to holding off on that for too long when they’ll have a bunch of other stuff to address well into s5.

And again, they want us to let go of Mike and El and to root for Mike and Will, as it’s happening. So making it ambiguous until the moment Mike and Will are kissing would make that unsatisfying for not only the people unprepared for it, but even those that are.

[pholiabanna]

Confession time; i kinda hate the st writers. They are the reason why the pride was ruined during the vol2 waiting, the reason why we face constant homophobia from mlvns and the ga for shipping byler and all bc they refused to break up mlvn and also included that shit ass monologue. Now we have to wait years to see the conclusion meanwhile ppl gradualy start lose their interest. They ruined Nick's career and reputation for no reason when his site was there for years. The way they say nothing against the apparent fandom homophobia even though it is not even a secret since ppl sharw homophobic comments left and right. The way they use Will's car scene as a memeable moment even though many queer fans were devastated when the scene came out. The way they write these characters. The way they treate Will. The way they treated Robin. I have so much spite and hatred bottled in me and i am only starting to realize it after a year. If byler doesnt become canon i hope all st writers and the duffers lose their jobs and never manage to write ever again. I would even support Netlix going full bankrupt. My respect for the writers all depend on whether or not byler becomes canon and i dont care if it makes me stuck with byler or whatever. After everything the writers pulled, yes, my respect all depend on this choice for S5.

Honestly I see where you're coming from, so your feelings are completely valid. I do believe that the monologue and saving byler for the last season makes narrative sense because of the way they've written the story and how best friends to lovers stories usually work (they normally won't get together until the end of a movie, and you have to think of ST as a 5 season long movie).

I think most of those things you pointed out are more of a fandom problem, like Will crying in the van becoming a meme- I believe it was portrayed very seriously in the show and it was a certain sector of the audience who decided to memefy it. Also, the homophobia would happen even if byler became canon in season 4, sadly homophobes are everywhere in every fandom. I also believe a lot of those things you pointed out are more of Netflix's fault, because using Wills scene as a meme was something accounts like Netflix, Netflix geeked, Netflix UK and other did, but I don't recall strangerwriters doing that (but I may be wrong so please if I am let me know). Their executives were probably the ones who decided to split the season as well, and having vol 2 come out right after pride month (being a terrible coincidence because of the byler-Milkvan storyline and the homophobia that subsequently came from maloobans). If I remember correctly, the writers account has stated a couple times that everyone should be allowed to ship whoever they want. But as you pointed out, sometimes I feel like they could do a little bit more. They tanked Nick's reputation (which I can understand up to a certain point if they are trying to protect the show they are working on from getting spoiled, but maybe they should have made a less vague and incriminating statement), and they definitely could address the rampant homophobia in the fandom more frequently.

It sucks that we need to wait so many years to prove we were right, but think about how satisfying it will be once the season comes out and you watch all of those people have a breakdown, and hopefully you see interviews from the duffers explaining how that was the intention all along. If that's the case, then I'll be happy, but as you said, if all of these was for nothing and byler isn't endgame, I'll definitely consider it queerbaiting, because they have built up romantic feelings for Will on Mike's side, even if some people want to deny it. So yeah, queerbaiting in 2023 sucks, and it's totally valid for you to feel like you won't respect them anymore if they go that route. I think more people need to realize this is not a matter of whether the couple I like ends up together over the couple other people like, it's a matter of whether queer people get a respectful and deserved treatment or not. And if they don't, then they're terrible writers, because if the way they fucked up that storyline, and terrible people too.

But hopefully not. Right now, I'm really convinced byler is endgame and they know what they're doing. We have to deal with crazy Melvin stans meanwhile, but the wait will be over before you notice and they'll get really quiet and embarrassed once they realize how wrong they were. But I'd like for them to address some of the homophobic comments online a little bit more often.

[mental-illness-bingo]

Officially uncomfortably close to my cardiologist/POTS specialist appointment. I'm really anxious and remembering how scary it was last time to the point where just before getting in the car, when I found out my fiancé was not coming, I refused and cancelled it. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I may have been diagnosed 8 months ago if not for that. I am also trying not to think about what to do next if this begins a process of gaslighting instead of answers.

I am, of course, perfectly aware it might not be POTS. But it *is* something, and I'm not really ready to have to fight for that to be accepted.

Wish me luck when it comes. Hopefully he can go with this time as planned so I don't back out bc I know I can't do this without him.

I'm honestly so close to giving up before I even try out of fear of spending years being told it's nothing. It's why I waited this long to try and address the symptoms at all (besides by doing what helps at home).

Everyone think non-gaslighty thoughts in my honor plz.

[landonkirbyappreciation]

I know a lot of people think that Landon in Limbo is actually Landon mostly bc he seems different. I mean of course Landon is going be a bit different he's just been through hell. There's just no way he wouldn't be different after that(even if they don't address his trauma it looks like they're showing it in the tiniest and easy way possible by showing him being a bit different, classic legacies I guess). And now he has to figure out why he can't go to peace(and I'm sorry but my heart will never break seeing the look on Landons face when the ferry man told him he couldn't cross. It was like Landon was thinking "of course I don't even get to go to peace"). But there's also one big reason I know it's Landon and not malivore is bc malivore doesn't have a soul so he couldn't be in limbo. And there's also the fact that Brett said that the malivore storyline is over with and they're moving onto something else.

I know a lot of people want the malivore storyline to continue bc we still got a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to him. And I myself wish we could get those answers but I've sadly accepted that we'll never get those answers. Just like I've sadly accepted we might never know what happened to Landon in s3(I'll never not be upset about that and I mean never).

Very true, I’m honestly so glad that Landon was actually acting a bit different. Not because I want him to be different, but to have him acting exactly the same and as if nothing had happened would be wrong and would just be ignoring what he went through. Because exactly, realistically, there’s no way that he wouldn’t be changed after what happened to him. So I’m glad they’re showing a little something, even if it’s nowhere near enough. But yep, this is Legacies, so unfortunately it’s to be expected at this point... And I know, the fact that Landon now has to figure out why he can’t go to peace, especially after all he’s been through, he can just never get a break. It’s one enormous and traumatic obstacle after another (hopefully his time in limbo won’t be at all traumatic though). Obviously he needs to just come back to life, but from his perspective, he doesn’t know that’s possible. He just wants to find peace and can’t even do that, so it hurts knowing it’s yet another thing he has to deal with. I can’t imagine how exhausted he is, idk how he’s not snapped yet.

And yes, very true, Malivore wouldn’t have had a soul and Brett did say that about Malivore’s storyline being over too. And I’m one of those people who would want more of Malivore’s storyline because I still can’t believe we didn’t get any answers to so many questions, no explanations for so many things. And also because they built up that storyline for so many years and didn’t even really do much with it or explore it much at all. But you’re probably right, if we didn’t get any answers in the first four episodes of this season, we’ll probably never get them. And yeah, there’s a very good chance we may never know what happened with Landon last season. Which, if you’ve seen enough of my posts, you’ll know I’ll never not be upset about it either. Like it’s been driving me insane for months. 😀 And wouldn’t you think that if you were one of the writers that it would drive you insane too? If you created the show and the story and the characters, how could you not wanna explain or do anything with such a huge part of the story for one of lead characters? Isn’t that kind of a big part of being a writer, to explore something like that? I’ll never understand.

[v-hope]

Shipping Material

Pairing: Park Jimin x International Singer!Reader

Genre: Idek, fam. For default, I guess fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

Request: "hopefully your requests are open, bc i wanted to ask u if u could write an imagine with one of the maknaes of bts where y/n is an international star (model, actress, singer, whatever) and she is on like jimmy fallon where she gushes over bts and especially of either jungkook, v or jimin. and like maybe she even danced the choreography to one of their songs which makes army ship them? i hope u understood that and if u didn’t it’s okay:) and btw i really like ur blog, xx♥️"

A/N: I went with Jimin bc... "Hey, Jimmy! I'm Jimin!" still gets to me #NoShame. I also took it like a step further, I hope you don't mind 😬

Update: This can be read as a standalone or as the first part of a series, you can find the rest in my masterlist!

I couldn't find the source of this gif. If anyone knows, please let me know.

“Okay, so” Jimmy Fallon suddenly said after having talked about your new album, “let's move on to something a little juicier now”.

You cocked one of your eyebrows, not knowing if you should feel scared by his mischievous smile.

“Pardon?”

“So the American Music Awards were last week” he dove right into the topic, “and people have been speculating about you and a certain someone getting a little handsy”.

You didn't even have time to out your confusion when the group picture you had taken with BTS was showing on the screen for everyone to see, making a huge smile to form in your lips. You still got shivers at the thought of having met them.

“Care to explain that huge smile of yours?”

“Ah, how could I not smile like that when I had just met the people I look up to the most?” you sheepishly questioned, receiving a collective ‘aw’ from the audience.

“You're a big fan then?” Jimmy smiled fondly.

You nodded your head. “I am. They're honestly so talented and hardworking. It still messes with my head how they can sing and dance at the same time. I know I could never" you admitted. “Also, they all remain so humble? I was seriously shaking when I met them and they were such sweethearts to me” you laughed, getting goosebumps at the memory.

“Mhm…” Jimmy playfully glared at you, “I'm sure one of them comforted you more than the rest, though” he teased. That remark of his reminding you of his previous words.

“Okay, so who was I handsy with?” you chuckled, addressing the ridiculous rumor that had apparently been circulating.

“Oh, come on!” Jimmy threw his hands up in the air, “Jimin!” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Don't you see his hand on your arm?”

You squinted your eyes and leaned forward to take a better look at the picture. “I'm pretty sure his hand doesn't get to touch me” you argued.

Although the angle made it kinda look like Jimin's hand was placed on your arm, it was not – the guys were way too respectful to touch any woman they had taken pictures with, honestly.

“And anyway, since when has that clasified as being handsy?”

“Okay, I give that to you” he sighed. “But, can we get a little zoom on their faces, please?” Jimmy asked the staff.

“Oh, please don–”

“There” he pointed to both Jimin and you, causing the heat to reach your cheeks immediately, “your smile and eyes scream ‘omg, I'm right next to my bias!’”

That made you roll your eyes exaggeratedly. “He's not my bias”.

“Oh?” Jimmy was surely caught off guard. “Are you sure? Because that would be a shame since Jimin's face screams just the same about you”.

“Oh, my God” you let your back lean against the couch, “he's not”.

“Is it Jungkook then?” he wondered. “Since you're closer to his age an–”

“I'm close to Jimin's age too” you defensively cut him off.

Your hands immediately went to cover your mouth, wanting to hide anywhere as you felt Jimmy's cheeky smile on you and the audience laugh.

“So it is Jimin, you sneaky little liar!”

A whine abandoned your mouth before you hid your red face in your hands.

“It's okay” he reassured you, “we all have a soft spot for him. He's my favourite, too! Our names united us ever since we met, it's a special bond we cannot break” he said in a dreamy way, earning a chuckle from you as he stared off into the distance.

Lucky him.

“But back to you and him… why is he your bias?” Jimmy's voice along with the way he placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands, let you know he was dying to hear your answer. So was the rest of the audience who had simultaneously cheered.

“I, um…” you shyly started, already feeling your cheeks burn again, “I just think he is the sweetest guy? Like, he is so friendly and he doesn't let language be a barrier for him when interacting with people”.

“You tell me” Jimmy's words made you laugh.

“Yeah, when we met we didn't really get to talk much since we were both in a rush because of our performances, but he still managed to be really sweet and tried his best to speak my language, and I really admire that” you gazed down after hearing everyone awe at your words. “And he's so talented! Oh, my God. His voice is my favourite, I could listen to him sing and talk for hours. And his dancing? Have you seen that?! He is the definition of talent”.

Jimmy smiled wholeheartedly, bringing his finger up to wipe one of his fake tears. “That was the purest thing I've ever heard”.

“Shut up” you mumbled, not being able to suppress your embarrassment anymore.

“His dancing skills are pretty cool though” he decided to focus on that to ease your flusteredness.

“They are!” you went straight back into gushing mode, hearing a few laughs from the audience. “I wish I could dance like that but I have two left feet”.

“Oh, come on, if I can dance to IDOL I'm pretty sure you can dance one of their songs, too”.

“So far I can do Jimin's shoulder ‘accident’ move” you shook your head in amusement.

“The what?” he frowned.

“You know” you shrugged, standing up due to his confused expression and giving him a demonstration of the part in Blood, Sweat and Tears’ choreography – the loose jacket you were currently wearing being beneficial for your dramatic purposes.

“Wow!” Jimmy exclaimed, starting to clap with the rest of the people as you sat down.

Laughing off your silliness, you brushed your hair with your hands. “I know, I know. Hold in your amazement, people”.

“Such a prodigy dancer” he played along with you. “You should definitely make a dancing collab when you visit Seoul next month”.

“As if” you laughed. “I'm sure a singing one would be more appreciated, but there's no way we're meeting up”.

“But Jimin told me he and V already have their tickets for the show”.

A loud ‘ohhh’ was heard through the room, and you swore your heart stopped for a second there.

“Shut up, they don't”.

“They do!” Jimmy effusively nodded his head. “The perks of having almost the same name. We're practically best friends now, I know a few things” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

You just rolled your eyes, trying once again to helplessly not let it get to you and conceal your excitement, although you still did not quite believe what Jimmy had just told you, not wanting to get any false hopes.

That marked the end of the whole ‘BTS and Y/N’ topic and the interview moved on to the next one, which was, precisely, your current World Tour.

When you arrived back to your hotel room that night, you had to admit you were actually scared to check your social media, since your notifications had been blowing up more than usual and you already knew why. You were not ready to deal with all the hate you had probably been getting ever since the interview.

However, what you did not know was that, yes, there was a considerable amount of hate comments being directed at you, but they were overshadowed by how many fans, both yours and his, wanted you guys to actually meet again – some of them going even further into the topic and starting theories about the two of you already being something more.

And when you finally were done evading Twitter, you decided to check on it – one particular mention catching your attention.

Because, after that specific part of your interview had gotten to Jimin and he heard his name being said, realising he was the subject of it, he had ran to ask Namjoon to translate it for him. And when his hyung had done so, he had to, first, calm down his speeding heartbeats just like any fan of yours would've had to do in such situation and, then, he had to build up the courage not to give a damn about the scolding he would probably get from BigHit afterwards, and rely on the internet to type in your language:

@BTS_twt: @Y/N Let's collab! I'm looking forward to your show in Seoul! #JIMIN

As if that simple tweet alone hadn't been enough to confirm what Jimmy had just told you earlier that day, it had also fueled the fans’ excitement about you and the idol interacting.

You? Besides not being able to erase your smile and your hands shaking furiously, you thought not only about replying to him, but also about upgrading his and Tae's seats to backstage ones. You know… for courtesy and safety reasons. But that would be arranged later by your managers.

So, wanting to do just the same effort he had done, you, too, relied on the internet to 'teach you' Korean.

@Y/N: @BTS_twt Let's do it! See you next month then x

[savingoursanity]

Hi. I was wondering, is it possible to not have a coping mechanism? 🤔 I had to go to therapy because I felt too stressed and anxious all the time (unfortunetly I had to quit it) and the psychiatrist told me to find coping mechanisms for myself. I also told her that I don't seem to be really good at un-stressing myself, although she seemed like I will find it for sure.... Well I didn't. It's been about 6 months and no matter what I do I never let go of that stress, nor do I relax. I mean I can't relax when I have that tiny "episode" of being stressed, bc ofc it's not like I actually never relax.

Do you maybe know why I can't find any healthy coping mechanism? Only distraction works for me, like watching movies, social media, but the psychiatrist told me it's not so healthy to depend on distraction. I really tried, I was meditating, going on long walks, exercising, writing a journal-at some point even poetry, cleaning, changing my diet, drawing, sleeping, riding my bike, cooking, to be honest I don't think there are things I didn't try to do. And it's annoying because even if I do cardio for an hour I still think about that one thing which stressed me out or I get distracted while writing/drawing and circle back to being anxious. Even if sometimes I actually get a little bit relieved, it never really works for a long time.

I hope you don't get too worked up with these asks because it seems like you get them pretty often haha. You have a really kind heart. ❤️

Once again thank you so much for trusting me with this ask! I have loved getting these so much they have been a bright point in my life during these bleak times.

Although I will be completely honest this ask has been sitting in my drafts for months (I'm so sorry). I'm not going to try and find any excuse for myself so lets just right into things.

I've been toying around with how best to answer this ask because there are so many ways I could go about it. I could go on and on about coping mechanisms as a concept as well as other related concepts because I'm such a nerd about this stuff. However I know for a fact that would wind up becoming a very long and dense post (worse than what this one currently is *cough cough*) and I want to avoid overwhelming you with more technical information.

So I'm going to try and answer this as clearly and directly as possible. There were certain parts of what you've said that stuck out to me that I'd like to explore a bit more.

To begin with, I think we have a collective misunderstanding of what it means to relax and let go of stress. People will experience stress and anxiety in many ways and because of that there's equally as many if not more ways of coping and dealing with it.

Stress can express itself in three main ways: through thoughts, emotions and physical sensations (i.e. fatigue, tension, pain, intestinal discomfort, etc.). The way you experience stress and anxiety may very well involve all three to a certain degree. This is why it's important to learn to know yourself to be able to understand how you specifically experience anxiety at baseline or how you react to stressful situations. It's by getting to know yourself better that you'll be able to next be able to explore just how to find coping strategies that are more appropriate for you. Which brings me to my next point.

You've mentioned that distraction is what you have found to work. Distractions can take many forms, and I get the feeling that's why you may have hit a roadblock. You see, the types of things you've tried can still act as distractions depending on how you do them or use them.

Now we give a lot of flack to distraction because often it's another term for avoidance or repression. But sometimes we really do need to take a step back and remove ourselves long enough to come back and deal with the issue with a clearer more collected mind. For more physical and sensory aspects of anxiety, the activities you've mentioned can help to reduce the stress activation in the brain to a level that is more tolerable. Our mistake is that we use these distractions and stop there, which is why they appear to not work very well or for very long.

This is where I have a bit of a bone to pick with the whole self-care™ mentality we have nowadays. Yes it's important to take care of ourselves and our bodies, but it only goes so far for dealing with the emotional and thought aspects of stress and anxiety.

You've said it yourself, no matter what you do those anxious thoughts and feelings are there to greet you once again the second you stop the activity or even while you're doing it. If I can reassure you in any way, it's not exactly surprising that these things haven't been working for you and it's not because you haven't tried hard enough for that matter.

Honestly it makes sense that you haven't found those things helpful, because that's not where your problem actually is. I myself have long struggled with excessive anxiety and all those types of activities can be great in terms of trying to find a little oasis of relief, but unless they actually help you better face reality afterwards then it somewhat defeats the purpose.

If you want my actual honest opinion about why you haven't found a 'healthy coping mechanism', it's because you haven't been directly addressing what's been bothering you enough. That and you may be hoping to find 'THE' fix that will work, but when it comes to chronic anxiety there is no quick and easy fix. These are tough pills to swallow I know, but unfortunately there isn't exactly any way to go around it. You can't fix a broken arm with a band-aid after all.

That being said, I'm fully aware that addressing anxiety problems is much easier said than done. Helping yourself deal with an issue you are the cause of and are still creating is a very weird battle to be fighting make no mistake about it. But that doesn't mean it's impossible.

It starts with little things that you can try to put in place and every baby step counts. Be willing to be kind with yourself, to respect your pace no matter how infuriatingly slow it may be. The process of growth is not something that you can fast track, believe me I've tried.

Now knowing where to begin working on your anxious thoughts is different for each person, but I want to offer some suggestions that might hopefully help give you a bit of direction.

For me personally one thing that has really helped in my journey of dealing with anxiety has been learning to accept that I have anxiety. That may sound obvious and straightforward but it weirdly enough it often isn't. You see a lot of us deal with what I call anxiety² aka "stressed about being stressed". We're all guilty of it to some level either because of family or social expectations or because of the way we perceive and interpret these expectations.

However feeling or being made to feel bad or ashamed for being anxious has helped literally no one ever. You just wind up spiraling even faster than you already were. Going from anxiety² to plain ol anxiety is, in my humble opinion, a first step that needs to take place before anything else can really happen.

It starts by trying to just be able to accept your anxiety for what it is, not as something wrong, bad, shameful, etc. but as something that is plainly and simply a part of you. You may be surprised at how much better you feel by being able to do that.

My other suggestion is to try to find ways to externalize those thoughts and feelings. Because in a way anxiety actually is "all in your head", it's not by staying in your head that you're going to find a way out. This is where some of the activities you mentioned in your ask can be used, but perhaps in a more constructive way. It's all about mindset and intention so not so much the 'what' but the 'how' and 'why'. Instead of trying to "achieve zen" or something equally ridiculous, channel your anxiety into what you're doing. Creative outlets are great for that, so writing, drawing, music, etc., as a way to get what's bothering you out of your system. The same can be done with exercise and any other activity too if you use a little bit of imagination. Find whatever works for you that allows you to get out of your head.

One last thing I will suggest is try not to do it all on your own. All the activities you mentioned can work well and maybe even quite well, however, we can't overlook the impact of talking out our issues. See, because of how anxiety as a psychological construct works in our brains, for most of us trying to work at it on our own will have limited effectiveness. That's not to say that all the things mentioned before aren't worth doing because they definitely are and talking about anxiety is scary and hard after all. If for now you can only handle the things you can do yourself then that's totally okay. I'm also very aware that not everyone has the greatest support system and that talking it out with those around us might actually cause more problems in the end.

That being said, if you can, try to find people you can talk to about what you are thinking and feeling. You don't have to open up about everything or try to find solutions for your problems either for that matter. Again, talking it out is mainly and mostly having another another way to externalize what you are experiencing.

Once again thank you so much for this ask and I wish you the best of luck in finding ways to manage the beast that is anxiety. As always my dm's and asks are open to anyone who has any questions about mental health or anything else they feel like talking about. Take care and I love you all <3