savingoursanity

[savingoursanity]

Me, chill? Hah, absolutely not, never. Complete and utter basket case.

However I refuse to make that anyone else's business or problem.

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If you’re looking for the perfect thing to hyperfixate on this spooky season may I recommend  “Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story”

It’s a 10 part series on YouTube by Shipwrecked Comedy which are one of my most favorite and near and dear content creators. It’s hilarious, it’s mysterious, it’s poignant there’s so much going on you guys have no idea but I know these guys are gonna wrap it up beautifully as they have for every other project they have done in the past (go check out the rest of their stuff it’s amazing). The cast includes a lot of possibly familiar faces depending on the circles you run with which make for the best characters and unexpected cameos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZjidIkpXS0&ab_channel=Shipwrecked.

The finale is next Monday so that leaves plenty of time to binge the current episodes in time to be ready for all to be revealed!! Did I also mention this whole thing comes with a companion series called Unsolved Babesteries; the name says it all it’s ridiculously funny and such a fun addition to the experience. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akoqPOycGZc&ab_channel=Shipwrecked.

I don’t often do shout out’s here but I feel it’s worth it for these amazingly wonderful creators.  They are the whole reason I discovered the joys of gif-making (I’ve made so many yall I may have a problem) because there are just so many gif worthy moments that I have to contain myself every time something new comes out. Not only is everything they make so friggin awesome, their involvement in the fandom is also just the best, using their platform here on Tumblr to share all the fan created content and interacting with everyone. 

Okay enough rambling, suffice it to say these people are my comfort content creators in these trying times and definitely worth the hyperfixation train. 

[savingoursanity]

Me: ok lets try getting a good night’s sleep 

My brain: 

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[savingoursanity]

Hey folks,

I'm getting real tired of how ableist our world can be and even to able bodied and minded people so here’s something I want you to hear if no one has told you yet: 

Please stop expecting yourself to give optimal performances and achieve optimal results if working with or in suboptimal conditions. 

[savingoursanity]

In the wake of accidentally cutting the bottom of my foot on a piece of glass I was reminded why self harm exists as a coping mechanism and/or form of self medicating to an extent.

I want to preface this by saying that I'm not encouraging self harm as a method of coping; I do not have any personal history with self harm, but I can conceive if only in part why people resort to it. Because lemme tell you as highly neurotic basket case with really wonky sensory processing my mind and body often don't like me very much so I tend to feel weird a lot in more ways than one. So while my foot felt terrible from the shard of glass that lodged into the fleshy underside, the rush of endorphins resulting from the process made the rest of my body feel great; I immediately felt more grounded and my mind felt sharper.

Of course this is gross oversimplification of the underlying mechanisms of self harm, but it was oddly fascinating to be reminded how the body is biologically wired to respond to pain. So while I would not recommend the experience and I definitely don't intend on purposely repeating the experience, I can see how that bodily response could ultimately be used to regulate and cope. Because beyond the mental and emotional aspect of control in the action of self harm, we are also very much sensory creatures and it's very hard to regulate in mind if our bodies are also not having any of it.

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The problem with being a hobby collector is the tremendous pressure it brings when it comes to deciding how to use your precious down time.

I'm just desperately trying to enjoy the few hours of leisure time that I have to recuperate from my day of work or life in general and unless I'm solidly anchored into the most recent hyperfixation I will be met with no less than a dozen interests all vying for my attention like neglected children.

Mama loves you all I promise but even on a good day I barely have enough executive function juice to make such an important decision, follow through with it and not feel bad about it

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For my next trick I will manage to be terribly overwhelmed and overstimulated while also somehow being dreadfully understimulated and bored

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I think people underestimate the notion that there are times when you can either have a good attitude or do the thing, because you physically, mentally, emotionally, cosmically cannot do both.

Sometimes things need to get done, but also sometimes you just aren't having any of it no matter how chipper or mature or rational or reasonable you usually are.

So if it takes you swearing like a sailor under your breath as you take out the trash in order for you to not burst into tears from life overload then that's what it takes.

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Me after finally going to bed at a reasonable hour to have a sufficiently decent night's rest: oh right, this is why sleep is important

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Sometimes self care is actually finally doing that important pending task you've been needing to get to

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It never ceases to baffle me to think just how much I would actually get done if I didn't overthink each and every single thing all the time

Mind you that's paired with the equally baffling thought of how people manage to live with themselves without overthinking each and every single thing all the time

[savingoursanity]

Me: ugh why is it so hard to get anything done

Brain:

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Me about the new hobby I just picked up: Oh what this thing that people take years to master yeah no biggie totes easy I got this these other noobs clearly don't know what they're doing

Me about my literal profession: uh well I mean uh yes I studied this stuff for years and did practicums so ig I'm decent at this but uh like I don't have like that much experience so like *drowns in imposter syndrome*

[savingoursanity]

Wanna save money? 

Just be terrified to go buy stuff in person but also get super overwhelmed when trying to shop online

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Me: how dare this world put me in a box and try to define me and tell me how things should be. I am a multifaceted jack of all trades that cannot be bound by the short-sighted and narrow minded figurative borders and labels that our society clings to so adamantly. Give me creative liberty or give me death!!

Also me: I need structure at all times lest time and space lose all meaning. My ability to function relies on a precarious balance of consistent routine and crystal clear expectations and guidelines for everything and anything. Nothing terrifies me more than a blank slate and the words "do whatever you want".

[savingoursanity]

In trying to do your part to make the world a better place, please know that it's not your role or responsibility to make it the best place