#hopefully they dont get sick of seeing him LOL

[paragonequinox]

Another commission I got from Mikky recently, this time featuring one of my favorite job quest NPC's, Fray!

Done by RMikkyart on Twitter

[6okuto]

hello!! hi. i hope you are not too busy. i have been enjoying your 'falling in love' hcs for the ts characters, and i was wondering if i could ask for the same concept with kuras? if possible? please take your time with it. ^_^ i thinjk he would be silly with it but would also want to biblically smite the reader with his mind (/affectionate) . or you two are psychoanalyzing each other from opposite sides of the room FAR away from each other. I Dont Know. packingf my suitcase and leaving

KURAS FALLING IN LOVE

gn!reader | didn't realize how poor a read i have on his possible plot until writing this. my bad. good job red spring studio U and ur mysteries and kuras's identity in the overarching lore got me this time...

this is going to be the most normal start of a relationship of the LIs. like he's just ('just') a doctor. you're about to strangers -> friends this through coffee and chatting

kuras doesn't...seek you out? not at first. that's not to say he isn't interested by you, but he has a job (and secrets) to handle. but he welcomes your visits as long as he has a break!

it starts with offering to grab or buy something, then staying and helping, learning about a random medicine he has on the counter, and then you're a semi-regular presence at the clinic, and you know which cabinets to check for the average sickness/bandaging. his practiced smile turns into a genuine one when you come through the door. he's asking how your trip was, catching you up on what's been happening lately

one moment i feel might happen is you finding yourself in his clinic, needing his help again,, hopefully your clothes are in tact this time. he jokes about how he'd rather not see you on the cot if you wanted to visit again.

little pranks...!! the senobium or him. roleplaying to throw guards off your trail y'know. getting to see that playful side of him :3

if it's him, he pranks you back, shooting you the same 'innocent' smile he does the guards. be careful about spilling that ink. you've been misplacing papers and pens all day too, haven't you? are you feeling alright?

another moment is. it's hard to say what, but you unknowingly say something tied to his situation. you casually drop your opinion on guilt and atonement—smth smth how guilt will rot and your atonement will never end if you don't let it smth smth the evil that others do with your kindness does not corrupt you smth smth—and it gets him.. Thinking. ! maybe you find those stories about a teacher and harbinger of chaos, and after bringing it up to kuras, he asks you for your opinion on them.

!! one moment i hope we get is kuras 'letting loose' or being silly. laughing really loud and apologizing as it lessens to a chuckle. trying to eat food because you don't know he doesn't eat, and it goes terribly wrong so he gives up and lets you laugh at him

LOL the psychoanalyzing. you say something and he has a weird reaction like Hm. sure, of course. and you're like ??? and he tells you it's nothing, just that that makes sense for you. and you're like Woah you wanna talk about My observations about You? and kuras looks at you like [ !! ] [ ?! ]

there's also small things that suddenly feel more intimate—him cleaning up a wound on your face and holding eye contact, his fingers lingering as they brush your cheek. you instinctively reaching for him when someone bumps into you, and him making sure you're alright.

kuras starts taking more initiative by inviting you to join him places and talking about himself. (cue joke about how information is power and him saying he'll make an exception for you.)

but it won't be all sunshine and rainbows considering he's an incredibly old angel and he has. shit going on.... who knows what shit honestly

you notice how he still doesn't share everything, which is fair enough—you're not spilling your entire life story either. but you still don't know basic things about this guy, you don't even know how he's kept his clothes clean all this time or how Old he is

that distance kuras keeps between you grows again because he doesn't want you to get in harm's way, and it's inevitable if you stick too close. he's an expert at dodging questions, answering just enough to keep people satisfied, but what does this mean for you? someone he's unexpectedly grown fond of, and who keeps calling him out for it?

you voice what you're both thinking. he has a frustrated expression when you point out you both like each other, and you want to help him for once, because ??!! he doesn't know what to do here.

something something, kuras's true form, him invalidating all the good he's done for the chaos and ruin he's brought, the world before, being the one to help him find forgiveness, the divine as neither good nor bad, kuras defining himself outside of a teacher and sinner Something Somethigngggaaghhh

Honestly. i've been messing with both ideas in my head and i haven't picked one i enjoy more so.

there's kuras, who's never been in love and is suddenly fumbling for once, trying really hard to 'do it right' and figuring out what it means to be in a relationship and in love (he's overthinking) (he was doing alright) (he asks ais/mhin for their opinions)

and then there's kuras who goes with what he was doing before, just with more affection/intimacy, because seriously he was already doing a great job at being a good partner :sob:

i think kuras's feelings are a slow burn themself. like, he takes the time to get to know you, to open up, etc, and he wouldn't define what he feels as 'being in love' for a while ?? he knows you're incredible important to him, and know him better than...probably anyone else. but he thinks "i love you" is a very significant thing to think and say out loud and he wants to make sure he knows for sure.

if you wait for him to say it first, i think he'd make it a really special moment! ^^ he thinks for a while about how to do it and, maybe uncharacteristically, gets nervous. his face lights up in its own way when you say it back (not a huge face-splitting grin, but his smile does grow and it's obvious he's relieved/happy)

it isn't often that the doctor is thrown off his game, especially not for longer than a few minutes, so if you ever casually, and Very Quickly*, say "love you" while you're leaving, it's a Sight to See. imagining ais coming to see him and going ...?? when kuras opens the wrong cabinet for the most basic medicine. he applauds your work the next time you see him

*very quickly because if you're in a situation where you're alone and he isn't needed, he's going to stop you?? like what?? can we have a conversation about this (not mad just stunned and values communication and also in love with you and)

[misc-obeyme]

more kitchen barb thots

playing music while mc and barbatos are cooking, each doing their own tasks. mc starts swaying their hips to the music- knowingly or not, but its enough to distract barb once he notices and he cant help but continuing to glance over bc the movements are just so captivating he cant help but watch despite all his usual self control. muscle memory has to take over for his task to continue but eventually even that falters (hopefully not while hes chopping stuff lmao) but mc hears the change in rhythm/slight clattering of the bowl and obvs has to check if their cooking buddy is ok!! and barbatos barely manages not to stutter as he assures them hes fine, just a bit distracted because of an "upcoming event" or some other excuse but hes got a pink tint to his cheeks from nearly getting caught staring.

at this point mc can either be oblivious to the reality and just reach out to give a gentle reassuring arm squeeze and a reminder that theyre 'always here if you need anything, we can take a break to decompress for a few minutes :) ' or theyre wise abt it and decide to tease the poor butler and go up to him, turn him to face them and put a hand to his forehead ""checking for a fever"" (pressing their chest into his at the same time ;) ). pull him away from the busy counter and dote on him worried 'but barb your face is so warm! i dont want my favorite demon getting sick :( especially since you look so cute with a blush it would be so unfortunate if the cause was you not feeling well' but internally theyre all >:3 lets see what it takes for his resolve to crack

i feel like the moment you catch him off guard with this kinda thing if you just keep up the "innocent/unaware" flirt teasing it would make it more and more difficult for him to pull it back together. but if he gets that moment then he'll start teasing back. this may be ooc rip and it got Way long but scenarios are fun lol

-🥐

Oh welcome back, 🥐 anon!

One of my favorite things about Barb is the way he teases. However, I also think it's fantastic when the tables are turned and he's the one who's flustered.

The thing about this guy is that he isn't easily flustered, but if there is anyone who can accomplish it without even noticing, it's absolutely MC. I have actually written scenes (though I think they later got scrapped) where Barbatos straight up cuts himself while chopping vegetables because of something MC did or said. So not like him! But that's the point! MC makes him do things he wouldn't normally do. And he can either lean into it or try to resist it and I think you end up with different scenarios depending on which way he decides to go.

MC's reaction certainly matters, too. If they're oblivious, I think Barbatos could safely pretend nothing happened and move on, but I also think he could be the one who teases MC and gets them all flustered.

But a wise MC who's all I'm just trying to make sure you're okay! Listen. I very much think that Barbatos would have a hard time controlling himself at that point. Even if he knows that MC is doing it on purpose. Maybe even more if he knows.

The best thing about Barb is that I feel like I can write him being a real troublemaker where he just messes with MC a lot, but I can also write him being the one who is easily flustered. Like yeah he's got that rigid facade, but you can say beneath it there is a man who is fully aware of what he's doing and deliberately does things just to get a reaction out of MC. Or you could say that beneath it is a suppressed man that gets blushy when you start to tease him. However, I do think either way he'd eventually give in because MC is the only person for whom he is lenient about anything ever.

MC might tease him and fluster him and get him all riled up, but as soon as he realizes what's going on, he starts playing into it. I think he'd use the whole situation to his advantage. Especially if he's like yes let's take a break because secretly he wants to get naughty but he doesn't want to mess up the kitchen lol.

[hazbinshusk]

What’s your opinion on Hazbin Hotel as of rn

I just saw the announcement for season 3 and 4 and like 😰 we haven’t even got season two yet-

Speaking of season 2, I don’t really have high hopes for it. I won’t get into spoiler territory but I thought the main conflict was the can they or can’t they be redeemed thing??? But like that kinda got solved? I get The characters don’t really know yet but I feel like that storyline could’ve been dragged out a little more. I really liked the suspense of it all..

And they offed my second love Adam? And he’s GONE for GOOD?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? That literally makes no sense to me 💔

I don’t really get what the story is supposed to be now. I know there’s still mystery and stuff but what’s gonna happen in between that? Is it just gonna be like a slice of life type thing? Like slay ig but I just wanted a lil more-

I’m just kinda..disappointed ig

DONT GET ME WRONG IMMA STILL WATCH IT 😭 I will absolutely be beating my bean to all the characters you can bet on that-

ANYWAYS RANT OVER 🥰

I'm still super excited for the new seasons. I get the trepidation, but I'm excited to see what they're going to do story-wise. I think just having the third and fourth seasons confirmed now is really reassuring, because I'm sick of getting into new shows only to have them cancelled lol.

I think the conflict is less about can they get into heaven but will they, y'know? Like, the issue with how "they" got into heaven is that you would need to do it without planning to get into heaven... so by aiming to get into heaven by doing it, your motives would be corrupt and therefore you couldn't.

And seeing the growth of characters like Angel (especially) and eventually Husk (and others) will be a big part of it. And bringing in the drama of Lilith (and potentially Eve and Roo) is going to be a big part of that (I think). And I don't think Sara is going to just... accept the change? So there will probably still be a lot of drama around the recent addition to heaven.

And LUTE... her revenge storyline is going to be AMAZING, I just know it lol.

I am bummed we didn't get more of Adam because he's such a fun character, but I feel like there will be possibilities for him to reappear in flashbacks for Lute (especially since Alex Brightman isn't going anywhere).

And I think the side plots of the Overlords will give us a lot in terms of action and drama, so I'm not too worried.

Hopefully it turns out to be all we want it to be :)

(And I will absolutely keep providing the material to help you beat that bean lol)

[reductionisms]

okay hi. how are you! you mightve noticed me liking and reblogging millions of your gintama posts. to which i say... teehee gomen? ;^__^ just wanted yo say i love the way your analysis and also the gintama math posts?!!!??!!! not saying im getting everything because im not (<- studied math for 3 years but not in english so i dont understand some of it) but yeah its was a nice approach. and im saving them to read later again when its not 2am

now for the ASK: have you thought about making a pinned post of all your analysis/the gintama math series? i would love to have them in one place

and the second ask: i noticed you and another blog (joleetwo i think?)(im planning on stalking all their gintama posts too. when it's not 2am) talking about gintoki = shouyo. would you explain it a bit? or if you already have, can you send the link?

THANK YOU!!!

hi!

tyyy, you flatter me too much... tbf even though i study math im pretty bad at it so i dont get everything either& half of what i write is abuse of notation lol

as for mathematics posting, unfortunately ive been sick on and off for the last 3 months and also very busy, so i didnt get to continue the tama series (im hoping to add it eventually, but right now its just the first installment). my other misc gintamaposting, including math posting (everything is math posting to me even if it isnt), is under “goose tag” in my archive if youd like to check it out. there’s also this compendium* i made of things i think are gintama math posting from other gintama mathematicians i love and admire. (*from early 24 so not updated since then- so not comprehensive)

as for shouyou=gintoki, i havent written on this specifically since it’s just something i carry with me always… in the first, in 519-20 when takasugi sees shouyou in his eye, in the next panel he sees gintoki in that exact position. to me, the first time i watched that, it just sort of clicked.

philosophically, gintama has this theme of what makes someone human. i feel like humanity here must be given to you by someone else (you have to be Named by them)— and it sort of aligns with the passing of promises (4devas, coan flashback)— that is, the passing of someone’s will. jirocho promises otose’s husband to protect kabukicho, which is otose’s husband’s will, and then gintoki promises jirocho to do the same, etc. similarly, gintoki upholds shouyou’s promise to protect their friends— which i am inclined to think is at least partially constitutive of shouyou’s person. that is, shouyou strove against utsuro to love and protect humans, which is what differentiated him from utsuro and eventually made him human (through gintoki, who makes him human). so gintoki receives shouyou’s promise, which is shouyou’s self (“a samurai is one who disciplines their weaker self”—follows this promise—self tied to promise), and on the cliff he acts it out. ie, by participating in shouyou’s will gintoki becomes shouyou. as do many people in gintama. and none at all. anyways unfortunately im sick and low energy so this is a bad explanation but hopefully that makes sense? Im sure joelle has written on this as well, as a heads up id just check with him to make sure he’s okay with spam notifs before going through his blog.

ty for the mathematics love since i love mathematics posting, & have a wonderful day!

[nitazenes]

praying for the heart stomper heels for christmas 😩

praying for the MH dolls i rly want

thats all i asked for for christmas haha but the heart stomper heels are pretty expensive, but I received my docs as a birthday gift ! maybe just maybe ill get the shoes, if not thats okay i will survive lmao

other than that all i want for christmas is to not be judged for being unable to afford many gifts

lets see

For my step mom I got soft decorative towels. a loofah and slippers and shower steamers.

For my aunt who is rly hard to buy gifts for i gave her a bunch of small gifts already, but i found a keychain that said "the best auntie ever, keep that shit up" and my aunt and I have always had a thing where when she gifts me something i tell her shes "the best auntie ever" so to find a keychain with that message, i hope she likes it lol. i also got her and electric heating pad for her feet bc her feet get cold and currently she has frankened a heating pad to go over her feet, so i just got her what she does, but in just one piece instead of her like using medical gauze to wrap it around her feet lol

For my mom I got her two brooches, she wears brooches for work so i got one that is a snake and and a doggy that looks like one of their dogs. I also got her slippers

For my step dad i got a tin of beatles themed guitar picks and a beatles t shirt : ) he's a big fan For my dad (whom i do not like): i got him Lemon Curd bc he loves it but never gets it, so i get it usually for christmas. he also never arrived to pick up his fathers day gift so hes getting a hat for christmas, he wears baseball hates all the time and his fav football team is the Denver Broncos so i got him a hat i dont think he has yet? but its like official merch for the broncos. I also got him this thing where he puts his dogs paw on it and it leaves an imprint of the paw : ) i was thinking about his dog a lot bc he has heart worms and is pretty sick.

arguably my best friend got the most because i collected things starting in September and sent everything for christmas. i think everything i got i him is vintage or antique. Highlights being a authentic WWII russian sterile syringe (hes a med student) and the coolest one was that i found this russian garrison hat with a shit ton of pins and brass. and patches. i think it is also wwii era but that was arguably the coolest gift bc he verified the medals and pins on the hat were real when usually you find reproductions of the pins it has. I also fought for an Esther Scroll earlier like last month.

For my partners i got them two heart shaped pillows, a bracelet for my gf and the boyf is getting somethin he wants in the mail but Canada is on a shipping strike so its going to arrive late.

i also made a ribbon toy for my cat : ) this drained my bank account and savings. i know christmas is not just about gifts but hopefully these small things still convey that i thought of them, and thats what counts.

[marxthedumdum]

just thought of this out of nowhere so i bestow upon ye headcanons of whatever state this blog's steven is in (a shapeshifter and basically a human(oid)-monster at this point) and a sick daisy

(totally not partly inspired by @//theoveralleye's dragon mike and sick y/n thingy) ❀ for when daisy got sick in the first place, i think she could be handling new pokemon with/for prof oak (can be from johto since GSC is a thing but think of whatever 'mon you want) and the pokemon starts misbehaving like they almost always do with the old professor in the anime ❀ maybe daisy got poison powdered by a budew (not toxic, in that case she'll just fucking die because it gradually gets worse), stun spored by a foongus, shroomish's effect spore shenanigans and so on, just something thats NOT lethal ❀ the usual items, inconveniently, can only work on pokemon and not humans, whoops ❀ (pretend berries dont exist, or imagine it isnt as effective on people and it only relieves the pain a bit) ❀ anyways, daisy is now bed-ridden, with blue being told to take care of her for the time being until shes fine again ❀ because of this, steven will soon enough notice daisy is no longer visiting him and would rush his way to the oaks' home ❀ stevy literally climbs on the house's wall like a spider and sees daisy laying on the bed face-buried into the pillow coughing and sneezing through a window in her room and LOUDLY pokes on the window to hopefully catch daisys attention and ask her "whats wrong? :(" ❀ if daisy doesnt answer? steven is going to come in (transforming into a ghost (type pokemon) and phase through the walls or missingno bullshits) and check on her. if she does answer? hes still doing the same thing anyway lol ❀ "hey daisy are you okay? are you tired? are you sick?" and blah blah blah hes VERY worried and will ask MANY questions as he nudges her ❀ he tries to help daisy get better to the best of his ability: lay beside daisy as a charizard for warmth, become an ice type (like, a smol lapras) and be her ice pack and yeah,,, ❀ he DEFINITELY gives daisy his jacket as an 'extra layer of blanket' ❀ ofc he gets off daisy and hides somewhere in her room whenever blue returns and gets back on her when blue leaves ❀ if daisy ever needs anything like food or something to pass her time like comic books and asks stevy, he will go out of his way to steal t- i mean- okay yeah he totally steals ❀ ran out of brain juice srry yall 😔😔😔

[yuhi-san]

1, 2, 3, 4 for the ask game!!!

yeees thank you for asking!!

1 the last sentence you wrote

What’s killing the murderer parading around as a priest? The flowers of a rare sickness born of unrequited love slowly suffocating him or the effects of fucked up experimentation finally taking its toll, everyone take their bet!

2 a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Wolfwood! he is the only pove in the story i have ready for vashwood week already and he's also the pov for well *points up* the hanahaki one. and also the newest few chapters of observations but we'll see if i post those or change some things

3 how you feel about your current WIP

tha hanahaki i only recently started, so we'll see about that. though i know all parts i want to write already. without spoiling it, i hope i can stick to the ending i have in mind. but its something i thought hanahaki in general and with the whole geranium thing going on in trigun i feel there are not enough fics exploring that so im excited

observations is currently on hiatus because while i like it, there is a lot of stuff i would like the gang around knives, meryl, vash, milly and wolfwood to do, i had to realize i can't put it all in one story so i am still figuring out what to put in and which darlings to kill, so to speak. i'm a little frustrated. cant do all i want. i have some chapters already ready but i am unsure what to do with them. it's mostly vash not having a good time and it shows how knives general attitude and unpleassantness is getting to him more than he wants to show. but if i open that can of worms, i don't feel like its something i can close in a few chapters either. so complicated i guess haha.

4 a story idea you haven’t written yet

hah! you know about the millyknives mermaid au! that i thought would be a fun one shot but i dont think it will be anymore lol. i really love mermaid aus and they fit trigung great with all combinations of human and merfolk and who is saving who but for some reason that one made me imediately think of millynai. the idea is that milly saves a injured knives (who i wanted to be a giant squid kind of mer but he'll be a sea serpent or oarfish because he'll be hard enough to deal with if he has three appendages rather than like, ten) and tends to him in her... bathtube. of course knives wont be very pleasant about it at first but that's not going to stop milly. i want to keep it on the fun and cute side, hopefully, despite knives being such a complainer. meryl and wolfwood are sure to make cameos, maybe even vash. still stuff to be figured out but i will definitely start that one after vashwood week

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

Hi! 13, 18, and 25 for the fandom ask :)

ohhhhhhhh hohohohoh thank you hehe

13 - worst blorboficiation

crowley good omens 😭😭😭 like guys i love him too i think he's a great but he is not a perfect little cinnamon roll who fell for no reason and ohhh aziraphale treats him so bad and ohhhh little baby demon so sad uwu ITS JUST HGNSHANGSHANSHAN i think he should do something actually really properly demonic and awful in canon so people stop doing that 😭😭 sorry thats harsh i know. like there so much good analysis of his character out there but then there's also A Lot of people who just immediately rush to smol bean him. and like yeah he does have it pretty bad but like. i think fandom tries to portray it as A Whole Lot Worse for angst value. and he's either super sexy or cartoonishly grumpy???? like??? idk man. sorry this is really mean hopefully i dont actually offend anyone i love crowley guys i promise i think he's fantastic.

18 - it's absolutely criminal that fandom has been sleeping on...

DOCTOR WHO NEW SERIES ADVENTURES these books are sooooo goooddddddddd there so much Extra Lore! i love doctor who and its Extra Lore!! the new series adventures are so much fun and a lot of them have the character dynamics done so well - i can reccomend a few specifics if you like, a lot of them are on internet archive or i can send you a drive link lol but the character writingggggggggggggggg ALSO the novelisations!! again, its the extra bits and lore that couldnt really have fit in the episode that gets added in, and what they were all thinking. the one for rose is really good, and the one for the waters of mars

25 - common fandom complaint you're sick of hearing

hmmm the first thing that came to mind was people tacking on 'she deserved better' in the tags of Every Single Post About Martha Jones Ever cos i think its stopping people engaging properly with her character? like she did deserve better but you can still like her. she's still super cool and her character is very interesting. but i think the main one is people saying thirteen was badly written or they didnt like the timeless child or the flux was badly made, respectfully I DONT CARE :D. I LOVE THIRTEEN I THOUGHT THE TIMELESS CHILD STUFF WAS FASCINATING AND COOL. the flux was kinda confusing i will admit but I STILL LIKED IT. THIRTEEN IS COOL OK I LOVE HER SHE'S BRILLIANT. i dont care if her writing was a bit weird i know in my heart she was so much more than we got to see. and thasmin was perfectly fine. they could've kissed yeah but i think it fits their personalities that they didnt. so yeah.

[mrsmarch64]

Are you…taking it all back?(Kai Anderson x fem!reader angst)

Ok so warning lol I’m horrible at writing anything lol and idk what I’m doing this is my first fic ever so if anyone who has more experience pls comment and give some tips tysm I hope you enjoy this trash ✌️(ps this might be a series) its also kind of a short cute fluff.

Warnings:mentions of death and murder, and mentions of abuse,kissing, stalking, if any of this triggers you pls DNI Enjoy! 🖤

I was sitting at my desk until I got a Text from my ex boyfriend Kai.

Kai:“Hey… I miss you? How have you been?”

Me and Kai broke up about a month ago because I was sick of him always taking about death and murder. When we went out on dates he would always say stuff like his murder plans or something and I would just be disgusted.

Me:“What do you want Kai, I’m busy.”

I replied to his text and saw him type and I was pretty nervous I knew how Kai could be… and now that I’m not the love of his life he could do whatever he wanted to get back at me.

Kai:“I want to see you, got you a gift… think you’ll like it…”

I sighed, I really couldn’t do this right now I was so stressed and now Kai wanted to be back into my life.

Me: “Kai I can’t I’ve moved on.”

I replied putting my phone down thinking that was it. But no.

Kai: “I wasn’t asking, come outside”

Kai then sent a picture of my house. I gasped. I didn’t know what he would do if I didn’t obey him. I grabbed my pepper spray and walked outside to him. He leaned on the side of his car.

“What do you want Kai?”

I asked annoyed. He smiled at me genuinely and gave me a bouquet of my favorite flowers the ones he bought me on our first date,𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬.

“I got these for you, and something else.“

He said with a cute, 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, smile on his face. He pullef out a small gift box and handed it to me. I tucked the flowers under my arm and opened the box hesitantly and saw it was a beautiful necklace with diamonds on it, it was beautiful.

“Kai... Kai I.... I dont know what to say…”

I was in true shock maybe he did deserve a second chance.

“Please baby I’ll be better I’ll talk to you about what makes you happy and I won’t be as dark I promise please give me a second chance? Please?”

He said getting down on his knees begging me, I took his hand and pulled him up, I kissed him, he didn’t kiss back for a moment but he did after a bit and he was so gentle.

“Fine…” I Said embracing him

“I- I love you…” he said wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I love you, Kai.”

__________________________________________

Ok this was literally ass but I hope y’all liked it, it was my first fic and it sucked but hopefully it will be better in the fallowing parts bye y’all.

#Evanpetersmut #Kaiandersonsmut #stories #AHS #Americanhorrorstory #Evanpeters #Kaianderson #angst

[stewpid-soup]

vent post part 2 bc i hit the word limit! woopsues :p

take care everybody <333

TW/CW: breakup, moving, attempted suicide (not me), hopelessness, lots of sad venting

his mom responded, said everyone was okay and that my boyfriend was sick. i was confused bc he normally texted me no problem when he was sick, even when i would tell him to rest instead. i told her i was glad they were okay and to stay safe and take care.

fast forward, it’s the ninth day since i saw him in person. long story short, we called. he had texted beforehand that he was sorry he didn’t respond, a lot happened and he would explain. but he said he didn’t want it to change whatever decision i had made. i said okay. we called. i found out he had attempted to kill himself. he called the police on himself and was put into the psychward for eight days. i was glad he was okay, and he said that while the circumstances sucked- he was glad he went. he needed that time for himself, needed to talk to a professional. i was proud he was getting help. but we continued to talk, i clarified some things and we talked for two hours. the call ended with my verdict being: i wanted him to decide whether he felt he was in a good enough headspace or not to pursue a relationship. i told him it would be hard work, that things would be awkward for a long tiem, that i didnt forgive him for what he did, but that i loved him and was willing to work things out if he was ready for that. he admitted to being scared. j told him it was okay, i told him to take the time he needed to take care of himself and make whatever decision. the call ended on alright terms, we didnt text for a few days. at the time i had told him that taking a break was an option.

but then i found out i was moving. it was very sudden, but it was too good of a deal for my parents to refuse. we needed more space, and we needed to get out of LA. i texted him that, saying that it might impact his decision so i thought i would let him know.

we called the night after that text after i ate dinner. he said he wanted a break because he wasn’t in the right headspace. i said that i was proud of him for being honest. i also said that because im moving, and because to me it feels like the healthiest option for both of us, that the best decision would be to end things on a good note. i said that i didn’t want to put so much hope on a maybe, only for him to move on during that time while i held on to him. i said that it didn’t mean i would ignore him, or that i didn’t love him, or that things couldn’t change in the (far) future. i said that right now, the best decision feels like ending things on a good note. he said that made sense. we cried a lot. im going to (hopefully) see him tomorrow to return his favorite hoodie, and get in a final goodbye. because even though he’s now my ex-boyfriend, he’s still someone i considered my best friend. someone i care about. i told him i’d be there if he needed me, but that i didn’t think we’d be talking regularly for a long while. that things would be awkward. he said okay. we called for an hour that time. i laughed with him for a bit, and it felt good. having one more normal conversation. i ended the call. i’ve sobbed because of my chronic pain, but it’s been a long time since i’ve cried so hard because i felt so hurt and sad. i know it’s over, but i miss him. i miss us. i have all his gifts and it hurts to look at them, but i dont think i can throw them away. i might have to get a bigger memory box because there’s so much in there now lol

over the calls and stuff, i worded myself a lot better than im typing rn. im just elly hurting and needed to vent before my brain shut off for the week (idk HOW ima do homework). im glad things ended how they did, but it doesn’t take away how much i love him. but i have people supporting me. so i know i’ll be okay, in the end. but i just needed to dump all my stupid thoughts and feelings somewhere, and this is the only place that i feel like i can vent and yell out into existence without him seeing it and getting the wrong idea.

now ima go sleep, bc im exhausted. spent all day packing stuff up. take a pic of my cat and sumn my mom got me a year or so ago to make me smile.

if anyone made it this far, ty for reading my rants even tho u didnt have to. i appreciate u listening, whether u comment or not. <33 much love to everyone and stay safe. things will get better. even if it feels fucking hopeless right now, things will get better. stay strong everyone <3

[omggitzflutterzx3]

hi tumblr!! ive already talked to you a lot today but havent done my actual diary thingy yet so.. time for that!1

todays been super slow, but im starting to feel better! so that's exciting.. im still worried that i got twi sick but hopefully she's doing ok. i wish i could call her and ask her about the trip so far but they dont let the students bring their phones. its a nightmare >< really excited for twi to get back..it's gonna be weirdd not seeing her at school on monday. but i gotta start getting used to that cus she's starting high school in the fall! which is super awesome im so happy 4 her but also its gonna be so weirddddd cus we've always gone to the same school..it's one of those ones where it's from 1st-8th grade so we've been at the same place forevarrr.. and by the time ill make it to high school she'll only have a few years left..and then she has college @.@..i hope she doesnt go to far for that but mom says basically any school in the whole country wuld except twilight..and they should she's sooo smart!! smarter than YOU! i just..hope she doesnt go to far ><........... BUT ANYWAYS LOL other than taht, like i said todays been in slow motion..just been watching youtube lol. and ive hung out with jeremy a bit..he's been gaming the whole time, which is basically all he does when he's not at school lol i dont even think he eats or sleeps and ESPECAILLY DOESNT DO HIS HOMEWORK!!! he just games games games 365 24/7 such a DUDE he says him and i are gonna do something tomorrow night but wont tell me what but he says it's gonna be fun so im excited!! i should hopfuly be feeling better so i should be up for fun! lolololololol i thinnnnkk that;s all i gotta say tonight so i'll see you tomorrow tumblr!!! sleep tight!!!!

~Flutterz(again LOL) 05/10/10(˃ᆺ˂)

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE PLEASE DONT FEEL LIKE YOUR RESPONSE WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! I honestly don’t care how long they may be, like the fact that you’re even acknowledging my asks is already so special to me! So if you ever don’t have the energy to answer, you really don’t have too! I won’t be hurt because you’re well being is far more important ❤️I’m sorry you were feeling a bit off :( I hope you felt better or are feeling better! Hopefully you don’t get sick right before your break!

Also side note when you mentioned sneakers with a wedding dress TELL ME WHY WHEN I THINK OF MILLENNIALS I THINK OF THIS! Like you mentioned side part and I didn’t even think to associate them with that up until this whole GenZ vs Millennial comparisons started to become a thing lol

ANWAYS now let me express my LOVE for toothpaste part 2! Once again you wrote such a good part! And omg this MC is BOLD bc I would actually EXPLODE from the embarrassment if I said that my dentist😭 but honestly I don’t blame her because if my dentist was Harry I would be so down bad it’s not a joke 😭 I loved how we got to read Harry’s pov from reading her file and seeing her for the first time! Ugh it was so cute like you know I love how obsessed each of your Harry’s are with their pairs! AND I LOVE WHEN HARRY GETS FLUSTERED!! It just does something to me that I love when the MC’s do that to him 🤭 AND THAT LAST LINE SAM I CRACKLED AHAH

So good bestie! Hope you are treating yourself well! -💜

NO BUT I LOVE SENDING YOU THOUGHTFUL MESSAGES.

I'm feeling fine! I have semi-chronic stomach issues. I think I (knowingly) ate something that I shouldn't have. It really didn't sit well with me. BUT I feel fine now 😂 BUT REALLY I ALWAYS GET SICK ON OR BEFORE VACATIONS. Ever since I was little. Fortunately I will only get my period during break this year. Lucky me 🙄 Pollen season is upon us though which will be stellar too ☠

I try not to do a whole lot of millennial/gen-z comparisons if I can help it but I will probably be buried in skinny jeans and I would rather be bald than do a middle part 😂 That's so interesting about the wedding dress and sneakers thing! I didn't really think of it as a millennial thing. I meant it as a me thing hahahahaha mainly because I used to DESPISE heels. I had some structural damage to my ankles due to sports and anything with a heel terrified me because I was scared of snapping my ankle again hahahaha but like I said last time, I'm such a wedge girl now so I would probs wear heels at my wedding.

SO glad you liked Toothpaste! I tried to write a version of myself I wish I could be (just slightly bolder than my current self I think--she was still a whiny baby last time about her toothache which was so me). I would never flirt with my dentist either--maybe if he was Harry, that I agree 💕 I have great ammo for my next part after my own trip to the dentist. I know it's part of his job but this man really stuck his whole finger in my mouth and massaged my cheeks and lips around my gum line. It's hard to explain but I either don't remember him doing it the other recent times I've been to the dentist or if I was paying closer attention since I was thinking about Toothpaste the whole time. Honestly it was hilarious when he did it, I was lucky I didn't laugh. Too bad I'll be making it sexual for Toothpaste and probably make it harder on myself when I have my next appointment in six months 😂 I love to make men flustered in general. Always keep them guessing, ya know? 🤭😉

Speaking of men, how is our hot TA?

I am def going to be treating myself to a shopping trip that I cannot afford but I don't care. I am in the mindset (for this weekend) that I am here for a short time and I need to enjoy myself while I can and the money will come back eventually.

Hope you have an amazing weekend and you get to do something fun again! 💕💕

xoxo

[hobimo]

https://www.tumblr.com/hobimo/744601071599714304/the-way-i-instantly-knew-who-youre-talking-about?source=share

yeah their first fic put me off from reading other stuff for a long time lol. i always thought they're the colleen hoover of the jikook tag 🥴 not when it comes to abuse between characters but the whole thing about the numbers they pulls and quality of writing is very much the same..

btw since we're talking i wanted to say i love your werewolf au a lot it made me laugh out loud many times and jikook being dumb is a canon event to me. also the space fic!! i have it on my kindle so i can reread whenever i want hehe i just love loser jungkook so badd :( all i see is ceo jk alpha jk mafia leader jk wherreee is my loser jk attt :(

i haven't read all of your works bc i try to ration the works of the writers i like so i don't end up with nothing to read shshdh the next one is gonna be the isekai au ☺️

"colleen hoover of the jikook tag" KILLED MEEEEE.... you're so real she absolutely is. the way she always manages to write a character that is genuinely unhinged at times weirds me out so bad. genuinely cant believe her ao3 debut was That Fic and that's what got her so popular???... deranged and insane behaviour from bts fanfic readers

thank you for your kinds words about my writing 🥹🥹 if u liked my stupid a/b/o au you will hopefully enjoy the sequel bc jungkook is such a massive loser in that fic... when ur bf/husband/mate gets turned semi-werewolf and you wanna hit soooooooo bad but he's busy being sick and feeling miserable with the change and you dont want to disturb him because you love him so muchhhh... anyway.i rly want to post it for someone's bday in may so feel free to bully me if that does not happen 👍 good luck with the isekai fic its an absolute mess bc i threw it together in a couple of days and i have not. looked back at it since i posted it so i apologise in advance orz thank u for ur message anon you are so sweet. hand in marriage?

[hellysriggs]

Heyy dw anon here. hope you’re doing good! Bit late on this review as my uni started up again and I am swamped already. but anyway. Episode 5. Want to preface this by saying I did really enjoy the episode. I am just a bit irritated with our girl Bernadette.

That being said loved the Chee and Bern moments. The whole she dated Elvis reveal had me gaping at my TV like??Damn Girl ok?? Thanks for sharing or good for you or? The writers are really trying to embrace the time period in the funkiest way possible!

Blond man is still being awful, Joe should have scalped him and called it a day but nooo some dumbass had to let Gordo drive the dude ALONE at NIGHT like ofc he escaped, who is surprised raise your hand! Need him executed asap.

then the whole thing with Dean was soso sad but so well done. His words to Bern about them not even being recognized as Americans obviously shook her entire worldview a bit.. and her giving him the necklace and a hug was soooo :((( her internal turmoil over Dean and the draft is so much worse in context with her border patrol job too like Bern I know you want to move up the ladder or whatever the fuck but jfccc get a gripppp. Atp I am genuinely concerned she’s going to leave like don’t you fucking dare!!

Like I get it. I do. Glass ceiling on the rez and all that. maybe she feels trapped (tho if that’s actually the case I would have liked the show to make that more obvious beyond her just saying “I want to find my own way”) And having modern day context for how shit the US border patrol is and how badly women and especially woc are treated in white-male dominated professions (and this is happening in 1971 to boot) helps to make it seem like she’s making an even worse decision if she goes. to me it’s a no brainer, I’m staying. But I really just think Bern doesn’t know any of that, or at least choses not to acknowledge it. Like she saw what happened to Jim in the FBI, come on now. and he warns her too this episode, “-I can come back” “Can you?” *silence*. He almost didn’t get to come back! Bern fr needs to make a weighted decision matrix and figure out her decision that way bc I think the lack of sleep is starting to affect her cognitive activity.

Anyway. Sorry for being a downer this week irl shit combined with the fact that the finale of s1 wasn’t exactly happy is giving me a creeping feeling that ep6 will be a rough one. Hopefully I’ll be wrong and we’ll actually get to see everyone experiencing happiness on our screens, but we’ll see!

everyone dont moveeeee, dark winds anon is back.

OKAYYY so we were a litttleeee off in our predictions HOWEVER I will say, in my heart I know what is chrew. that small scene of them sitting on the floor of her living room…….I currently live there in that moment nobody break the immersion for me. yeah, it was kinda weird for them to say that like at first I thought she was joking but no mames, she was actually being serious 😭

literallyyyyy not a bootlicker or whatever but iirc, cops follow a two buddy rule system so like, the fact that gordo probably gave himself the task of driving this sick son of a bitch on his own by himself bc #ego like omfg shut UP take someone with you, idiot 🙄 it’s like every time they try to shoot at the suspect and never shoot at the tires…these people are making the WORST decisions like if I were in that university, that blond man would nottt have escaped. we’d do a better job than the police -_-

omfgggg that part with dean and bern now THAT….moment of silence bc I almost cried LOL sorryyyy the emotions got to me again. if this was meant to push her into the border patrol route, oh, I’m shaking my fist because what is this show without miss. bernadette manuelito?? like, I’m really scratching my head at some of the decisions that are being made in this season. a part of me respects the route they’re taking, there are parts that I do love, and other parts where it makes me look around the room and wonder what everyone is thinking.

this show has always been bold in its message and like you said, I wish they had pressed more into those issues and leaned into the reasonings. I just don’t want bern to become some weird girlboss whedon strong girl because she’s always had that strength within her. it never had to do with the job, it’s about who she is as a person. exactlyyyy like why did she even apply in the first place when she saw the chokehold the government had on jim…….we need to go back to the drawing board…maybe a nap and a sandwich will do her some good 🙏🏽

don’t apologize for anything, babe!! we won’t always dig every single episode. it can be frustrating as well when it’s a show that you care about and they slip a bit and you’re like I know you’re better than this, girl 🤨 to me, I blacked out and only remember the jimbern moments bc the rest I was like, okay, we’re setting things up but I’m yawning a bit. finale day, everyone. and to those who already saw it on amc+, should I prepare for trench warfare or,,..

[videostak]

duuude my living situation sucks so much donkey dick it makes me wish i could like cry :’( srlsy just got cussed out by my dad for not doing things that are supposed to be other ppls chores. i wish i could pinpoint the point in my life where my family started seeing me as their personal maid to yell at whenever anythings a mess. i know it started with me doing the dishes (my family and mom specifcally had stated that we would all help with the dishes and then after like a week no one else helped and it all fell on me and since then theyve just stopped doing stuff that they used to help out w/ so now im like doing everything basically or at the leeast the one whos expected to keep things tidy) probably the closest ive ever been to ssaying fuck you to one of my family members let alone a living person at all. tho i thought things would be crazy dire when it reached the point of being chewed out for things that arent even my responsibility but in reality when i felt like saying it i realized like it would have no impact. like my dad said fucking 600 times while chewing me out and i was like didnt kno he reached that point where he just cusses his own family members out right out the gate. it was literally so insane hes insane and just has such a fkd idea of what like dumbass nuclear family bs. every1 else puts up with his shit and just avoids talking to him and i feel like im the only one who actually takes a stand for myself cause idk i feel like i dont have anything to lose. if he kicks me out ill live on the streets die on the streets idc like just so fucked living like this. every1 expects to clean up after them but if they catch me cleaning up after them thhey act like im babying them and not letting them be adults its so fkd like theres truly no way out the only way out is just like thru with blunt force  i think. like im so sick of my dad theres so many times id put up with his bs and take his side on things but i rly do not wanna talk or even entertain the idea of talking to him to him. literally anytime any1 talks to him he just turns it into a 30 minute lecture and he acts so childish when things dont go his way. like when i got furniture for my room and he was annoyed cause i didnt ask him for furniture (wtf) and  then once when i said i was looking for a round lil table and he takes me to the garage to show me a long rectangle table that doesnt even match the other furniture in my room and when i say its not what i was looking for he goes all silent and just guides me out lol. liek when i was a kid i thought it was so amazing that my mom and dad got married when they were p young (dont remember the ages exactly but im p sure my mom was 19 and my dad was idk how many years older he is but just like a few) but now like i see so clearly how totally much it stunted their growth. they both act like little kids and never listen or behave like adults can never take accountability or give actual apologies like def made me realize u should wait as long as possible to get married. i guess its good they got married or atleast had sex since it means i got to be born (yay) but everything else abt it is a real bad deal. rly dont see myself being able to move out anytime soon but ill honestly just keep at the work and save up money and like some day go back to college and hopefully make connections to finda roommate or smthn.