#hopefully someday it gets better i’m hoping for that

[mer-se]

Gotta love when ppl make snarky comments about u still wearing a mask at work (around a bunch of elderly people, and audibly very sick snotty ass people queued up at a pharmacy all day everyday) like my body literally and at times scarily doesn’t work right since I had covid and I eat well - not overweight or old. (only worth saying because those are the excuses they use otherwise ur fine) It’s not ���a cold’ for a lot of ppl, and if it was congrats a lot of ppl don’t walk away the same and just because you’re a self righteous fucktard doesn’t take away the fact that it’s pretty serious for many. Yes - even still. Fuck off.

[obsessedwithhotmen]

⋆⁎✿ Finn ⇢ *- Taught To Please -* ⇠ Shelby ✿⁎⋆

⇾ (Peaky Blinders) Finn Shelby x fem!reader

⇾ Summary: essentially a part two for ‘Better than any other man’ where the reader teaches Finn how to please a woman.

⇾ Warnings: NSFW, oral (Female receiving) fingering,

⇾ Part One

It was safe to say that when Finn Shelby saw his brothers the next day, they had a few things to say about the rather dark bruises on their younger brothers neck. While Arthur assumed it had something to do with the whore that had been hired for him, Thomas knew it was something else, something that his brother wasn’t ready to share with the rest of his family, so he decided not to crack on to the young boy about it.

Although over the course of the week, the rest of the family began to question what the youngest member of the Shelby family was doing when he’d disappear without a trace.

So, as Finn was leaving after a long day of work, Thomas pulled him aside and into his office. “What is it Tom?” The younger boy asked, sitting down in the chair at the desk as his brother pulled out a cigarette, passing one over.

“We’ve all noticed the hickeys. Aunt Pol says you don’t return back home most nights. If it’s whores then I hope you’re being careful.” Tommy said, getting straight to the point.

Finn gulped, putting the cigarette to his lips and inhaling the smoke. “It’s not.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s not whores.” He confirmed.

Thomas raised a brow, sitting across from Finn. “Then who is it?”

“My girlfriend.” Finn answered.

Thomas nodded his head. “Your girlfriend… and who is that.” He inquired, wanting to make sure that Finn wasn’t putting himself in a bad place.

“I don’t want her to be apart of our business, Tommy.” Finn said, sitting up straight, attempting to appear confident.

“Very well, but expect that we will find out eventually. I’ll let the others know that a whore will no longer be necessary.” Thomas dismissed Finn, letting him finally leave, although he wasn’t planning on returning home.

Like normal, Finn showed up at your house, looking to stay the night. “Tommy knows about us, we’ll not about you. But he knows I have a girlfriend. The others I think are suspicious about it too.” Finn said as sat down beside you in front of the fire, enjoying the heat that the flames gave off.

“I know you said you don’t want them to know about me for safety reasons, but I don’t mind if you do want to tell them about me. It’d be nice to actually go out with you instead of meeting up in secret.” You tell your boyfriend, hoping he was willing to give it some thought and allow the two of you to go on proper dates together.

You watched him as his facial expressions shifted, as if he was lost in thought. “I know you’d like to go out, but it’s not my family that I’m worried about. It’s the threats towards us. I’ve already lost a brother because of it, and I can’t risk losing you too.” It wasn’t the response that you were looking for, but it also wasn’t something you could be upset with, after all he was right. His job was dangerous, a constant threat to those he cared for, and you could understand his fear for allowing people to know there are others out there that he cares deeply for. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, placing a hand on your thigh and lightly caressing your exposed skin.

“S’alright, Finny. I understand.” You smiled up at him, resting your head on his shoulders. “Hopefully someday we’ll be able to show the whole world that we’re together.” You mumbled, staring into the fire.

“Hopefully.” He repeated.

His hand had subconsciously shifted up, unaware of the state it put you in as his caressing drew closer and closer to your lower region.

You hadn’t noticed at first, that was until you felt the tingling sensation going straight to your core.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. You placed your hand on top of his, Finn thinking nothing of it until he felt you tug his hand further up your thigh. He glanced over at you, wondering what you were doing, when he noticed the hint of a smirk on your lips while you nudged him closer and closer. He didn’t say anything, opting for allowing you to do your thing while Finn silently observed.

When his hand disappeared beneath your skirt, and his fingers met your underwear, his breath hitched. “Y/n, what are you-”

He was cut off. “Remember when I said I would teach you about pleasuring me?” You asked, waiting for his nod of agreement. “Well… I was thinking we could do that today.” You suggested, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly.

His eyes brows raised at your suggestion, head cocking to the side. “And what is it you want me to do?”

“You know what.” You replied, feeling a sudden warmth hit your face as you grew shy.

Finn, taking note of the change in demeanor, started to smirk. “No, actually. I’m not sure.” He teased, thumb softly rubbing as the skin of your thigh.

You let out a huff in defeat, “I want you to touch me,” you pouted. Finn said nothing more as he allowed for you to press his hand over your underwear, grinding into him, “please,” you begged, pulling your skirt up so he could see the positioning of his hand.

“Oh shit,” Finn cursed, watching as you pulled aside your underwear, “uhm- what do I do?” He asked, unsure of how to actually please a woman as that was never something that he brothers brought up.

“Just touch me,” you stated grabbing his hand, “right here,” his fingers came in contact with your clit sending a shockwave of electricity through your body, “and rub,” you added.

Slowly, he moved his finger around the small bud of your clit, watching the way that you physically reacted to the stimulation. “Faster!” You begged.

Finn picked up the pace.

His confidence grew alongside your moans, feeling encouraged by the sounds you made for him.

At one point, his fingers grew slippery from your wetness, causing his finger to accidentally slip into your hole, to which Finn pulled his hand away and apologized. “S’okay, Finny. Your meant to do that too…” once again you grabbed his hand, pushing all but one finger down and pushing it as your entrance.

His finger slipped into your wet hole with ease, feeling the warmth of your inside and wishing it was his dick instead.

He pumped his finger in and out, even as you grabbed his wrist and dug your nails into his skin. “Finn- I’m close!” You moaned, eyes rolling back.

You reached down to rub at your clit, letting your orgasm wash over you. Your legs shook as you attempted to keep them open, until your high ended and the sensitivity came, then you clamped your thighs around his arm, stopping him from moving any more.

“That seemed easy, I thought there was more to it,” Finn commented, pulling his hand away from your core, unsure what to do with the wetness on his fingers.

“There is more to it,” you replied, placing his finger into your mouth and sucking off the juices.

Finns eyes widened at your action, thinking of the very first time you gave him head, and then it hit him.

A smirk grew on his face as his eyes dropped down to your closed legs. His hands landed on your knees, shoving them apart to make room for himself.

You let out a squeak as he dragged you down the couch and closer towards him, this way you were laying down.

Finn got off the couch, kneeling down on the ground and hunching over so he could be eye level with your core, looking up at you to gather your reaction.

You ran a hand through his hair, nails softly dragging across his scalp, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, usually men don’t like doing it,” you told him, but Finn was adamant in returning the favor.

He lightly kissed your thigh, trailing them up until his nose was almost touching your pussy, when he used his fingers to spread you apart, taking notice of the cum that had dripped out.

Finn thought back to how you started off giving him head, how you licked from the base of his cock to the tip, and kept that in mind. His tongue darted out, touching your hole and tasting your cum, before flattening it and licking up to your clit, feeling the little pearl flutter beneath his touch.

The way you gasped has Finn thinking he did something right with licking at your clit, so he kept at it.

He sucked and licked, listening and paying attention to your reaction with every little thing he did.

He could never grow tired of the noises you made.

Your legs were closed around his head, but Finn didn’t mind, nor did he try and open them, he just kept his focus on pleasuring you, and pleasuring you was what he was doing.

The hand you had in his hair was tugging softly, your hips gyrating against his mouth, “oh- Finn! Feels so good…” you moaned.

Due to your sensitivity from the previous orgasm, it wasn’t long before your orgasm happened once more.

You came on his tongue with no warning other than the rather high pitched moans and harder tugs to his curls. “Shit!” You cried, body shaking.

You were breathing heavily as Finn pulled away from your core, a daze expression on his face matched with a bright smile, happy to have made you cum twice without having to use his cock.

“Should have told me to do that sooner,” he joked, sitting up and leaning over you, placing a kiss against your lips, “you taste nice,” he said.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Please do.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

[moonstruckme]

can i request poly!marauders x female reader where she’s on her period and gets horrible cramps/back pain so the guys do what they can to help? With maybe the reader taking advantage of how hot Remus runs and using him as a heating pad? Thank you so much!!!!

The amount of times I've wished for almost exactly this is embarrassing. Thanks for requesting lovely, hope you enjoy it :)

cw: period pain, marauders are unbearably sweet and caring

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 943 words

“Feeling any better?” James murmurs, setting a cup of cinnamon tea down in front of you. 

Blankets rustle as your hands emerge from inside them, taking the mug. You blow gently before taking a tentative sip. “A bit,” you say, but grimace as another cramp comes to defy you, pain twisting through your abdomen and lower back. 

James frowns in sympathy, and Sirius makes a terribly soft soothing sound, petting your head where it rests on his lap. You set your tea back down to cool, curling in on yourself. It’s a feeble protection against the pains that have plagued you since the early hours of the morning, when you’d woken and found yourself unable to go back to sleep, lying curled up in your bed as you throbbed with waves of dull agony. 

You’re all supposed to be watching a movie, but try as you might, you can’t focus on anything but the pain. Your tits are sore, your back hurts, and your emotions keep ricocheting from grouchy to teary and back again. Your boyfriends don’t seem able to concentrate on the TV either, taking turns shooting you concerned glances and asking if you need anything. You appreciate their desire to help, you really do, but having to say “no, there’s nothing you can do” over and over again is beginning to grate on your oversensitive nerves. 

“Want another pain reliever?” Sirius asks. 

You look up at him hopefully. Truly, nothing would make you happier. 

“No,” Remus says sternly, his gaze turning sympathetic when it falls on you. “Sorry dove, you’re maxed out. You can’t have more for a couple hours.” 

Sirius pouts on your behalf, but you’re not so ready to capitulate. “It’s not going to kill me to have a couple more.” 

“Not immediately, but it’s not good for you.” 

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t care right now,” Remus reasons, “but you will if your kidneys fail someday because you had half a dozen pills over the course of an hour. Drink your tea, it might help.” 

You huff. “None of you know what it’s like.” 

Remus softens. “No, we don’t, darling, I’m sorry.” 

You don’t want him to be sorry, though maybe you do just a little bit. You wouldn’t wish this torment on your boyfriends, but you can’t help but harbor a tiny bit of resentment for the fact that they’ll go their entire lives without ever understanding what you’re put through for an entire week every month. 

Another cramp seizes you, and you press a hand to your stomach to hold your heating pad closer against you, only to find it barely warm. You press the button, waiting a minute for it to start up again. Nothing happens. 

You let out a quiet whine, tucking your head under your blanket and bringing your knees further into your chest. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” James asks tentatively, and you can practically feel the attention of all three boys as someone lowers the volume on the TV. 

“My heating pad broke.” 

James makes a pained sound, and then a hand lands on your shoulder, rubbing soothingly through the soft fabric of the blanket. “I’m sorry. Want me to warm you up a water bottle or something? Or maybe one of us can run and get you a new one.”

“Or,” Sirius says pensively, “Remus is always burning. You could try using him, see if that helps.” 

You poke your head out from within your nest of blankets in time to see Remus cock an eyebrow at the word use, but when his eyes slide to you they’re contemplative. 

“What do you think?” he asks you. “Worth a try?”

You hesitate a moment, unsure if you really want to be touched in your bloated, uncomfortable state. But your cramps are growing noticeably worse without your heating pad, and Remus does run awfully hot… “If you think it’ll help,” you say quietly, a note of pleading in your voice. 

Sirius eases your head off of his lap, moving to give Remus room to slip underneath you. You move around a bit, not quite sure of how to position yourself, but it’s no matter, because then Remus is worming his hands between your legs and stomach, wrapping his arms around you. You relax into him, giving James a small smile as he adjusts the blankets over you both. 

“Merlin, you’re a furnace,” you breathe appreciatively. 

Remus smiles slightly, seeming relieved and a bit proud that he’s able to help. “Is your back hurting you too?”

“Mhm.” 

He moves one of his hands from where it’s resting on your side, flattening it over your lower back and pressing down lightly. You sigh as his warmth seeps into you and relaxes your tensed muscles, your eyes closing in bliss.

“Thank you,” you murmur, feeling like you could cry from relief and the exhaustion that’s catching up to you now that your pain is abating. “Sorry for being mean.” 

You feel Remus’ chuckle rumble through his chest. “You weren’t mean, love. You’re just grumpy, and I understand. Don’t worry about it.” 

“You make it very hard to despise all of mankind when you guys are this sweet to me, you know.”

“Ah, well then, our work here is done,” Sirius says, poking teasingly at the blankets covering your feet. “You can leave ‘er be now, Remus, our nefarious scheme has been a success.” 

You exhale amusedly, but latch on a bit tighter to Remus, just in case he decides to go along with Sirius’ bit. 

He chuckles again, resting a hand on the back of your head with reassuring weight. “Don’t worry, dove, I’m not going anywhere.” 

[r0-boat]

For shits and giggles(or even angst whichever you like) can we get the kings reaction to the mc saying that they remind them of their ex?(can be based on looks/mannerisms/etc)

Also because lets be real we’ve at least had an ex like either Beel or Levi(or maybe that’s me and I’m outing myself HAHA)

Oh God 💀

This is very interesting let's see how they react

Whb Kings reaction to being compared to MC's ex

Satan

Satan takes it as a compliment; an ex is someone you dated before, right? So, in his mind, you would probably date him! It's probably for the best not to explain what you mean...

Mammon

He doubts it... Can your ex buy you an entire tropical island in hell or on earth? Nope. He would just give you a smirk and huff. No one treats you as good as he; there's a reason why they are an ex. That must have mean he has one over the person you've dated in the past which fills him with pride.

Leviathan

You have an ex?! *Envy mode activated* who is this human have you dated? And why did you stop dating them? Why do I remind you so much of them??? What am I doing that he has done??? I shall kill this man Only I shall remain!

Beelzebub

Oh really? Hopefully, they've been good to you. Maybe someday he'll meet up with them and maybe or maybe not brag about how he has you now, and how he fucks you way better. Humans just don't know I don't have fun the way devils do so he could see why you broke up with him. But he is flattered to know that he seems so familiar to you.

Lucifer

Excuse me? He does not know what that means. What is an 'ex' is this another human you're talking about? I guess he is pleased that he reminds you so much of home. But other than that, he is more confused, if anything. Human slang really confuses him.

*one Gamigin lesson on slang later*

Ohohoh child of Adam you better hope that you mean in a good way or else-

[yamamasjumpercables]

Not Our Time

Cheater!Chris!Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Warning: Wrist grabbing, cussing and that’s it

a/n: this took a while, hope you guys enjoy it

You were tired of it. The lying, sneaking, yelling, arguing. Everything. You found out Chris has been cheating on you 2 weeks ago. You loved Chris so much that you tried your best to see it through, pretending that it wasn’t true. Last week after you found out You went to confront Chris about the whole situation but, he kept brushing it off. Telling you that it was before you guys knew each other and there was nothing to worry about. You knew better than to trust what he said. Chris knew he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too, but he never felt the need to quit his ways.

Right now You and Chris were currently in his room trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. Chris’s phone was in your hand, the messages between Chris and some girl displayed on the screen. Tears were threatening to roll down your face, but you needed to be stern to get through to Chris. “Y/n it’s not what you think” Chris said running his fingers through his hair. “Then what the fuck is it Chris, cause it looks like you cheating on me” You said putting your hands up in defense. “I’m not cheating on you that was a long time ago you are just being delusional” Chris says annoyed. “CHRIS DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME, THIS WAS 10 FUCKING MINUTES AGO ” You say yelling. “YOU ARE DOING TO FUCKING MUCH SHES JUST A FRIEND” Chris says yelling back. “Oh she’s just a friend, I didn’t know friends sends nudes to each other” You said sarcastically. “YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY Y/N” Chris says yelling at you. “IM CRAZY, YO BITCH ASS CHEATING ON ME WITH A REJECTED VICTORIA SECRET MODEL AND IM CRAZY” You say yelling while getting in Chris’s face. “First of all watch your tone with me, I’m not one of your delusional ass friends who you can talk to like that” Chris says grabbing your wrist. “You are a fucking joke Chris” You say yanking your wrist back from his grip. “So what now you’re gonna break up with me” Chris says crossing his arms. “Yes exactly what I’m gonna do” You say laughing a little. “Wait wait you can’t be seriously willing to end this relationship over this” Chris scoffs getting worried. “Well no it’s not just that, you treat me like shit and act like I don’t mean anything to you so why stay” You say passionately. “Baby, don’t leave me I’ll change” Chris says walking towards you grabbing your hand. “That’s what they all say Chris” You scoff. “I mean it I won’t do it again, I’ll cut everyone off, I’ll treat you better, I’ll give you anything you want, I’ll give you more attention just don’t leave me Y/n” Chris says, voice breaking. “Chris I will always love you, but I can’t sit here and let you treat me like this anymore” You say, a tear rolling down your face. “I can do better I can change for you, I just need time” Chris says putting your hand to his face for your to hold. “I can’t sit and wait for you to be a better person Chris that’s something you have to do on your own, we were right for each other once hopefully we can be right for each other again someday, but it’s just not our time” You say crying. “Y/n please give me another chance” Chris says grabbing your waist pulling you closer to him. “I can’t Chris we have to be apart for a while, until you learn how to respect Me and Yourself” You say rubbing Chris’s face with the pad of your thumb. “I love you Y/n” Chris says as his voice breaks. “I love you too” You say before giving Chris a long passionate kiss. “See you around Chris” You say giving him a final kiss on the cheek and walking out of his room, on your way to start a new life without him. Leaving Chris with his regrets

I haven’t posted anything in a while plus I want to start posting more Chris fics 🧎🏾‍♀️

[writingquestionsanswered]

hey, i love your blog, you’re so kind for doing all of this. kudos.

i was wondering if you have advice on how to not be terrified of sharing your work with the world? i write a lot of fanfiction (and someday hopefully some original stories) but i get so so anxious about ANYONE reading them so they usually end up rotting in my google docs, and eventually i stop writing them because i don’t get the motivation that comes from reader responses

but the issue is i’m not sure how to tackle this anxiety. as someone who has published works, do you have advice for this?

Tackling the Anxiety of Sharing Your Work

For my answer, I'm going to cobble together some bits from previous posts and add some new stuff. ♥

Sharing our fiction with others is one of the biggest steps we take as writers, and it can be scary no matter what you write. But, if you want to be published, it’s a necessary step. As with so many things in life, doing something that requires courage is often just a matter of taking a deep breath and doing it. "Ripping off the band-aid," as they say.

However, there are some things that might help ease the associated anxiety a bit:

1 - Try to Pin Down Your Specific Fears - One of the first things you may want to do is try to figure out what you're specifically afraid of or what's making you the most anxious about the prospect of sharing your work. If you can find the root cause, it might be easier to tackle the associated anxiety. Are you worried people:

will think your writing is bad?

won’t like your writing style?

won’t get your story/characters?

will judge you for what you write about?

will think less of you for writing at all or what you write about?

will blab about your writing to others?

will steal your ideas?

will see similarities between your story and others?

will make you feel tied to a project you might not complete?

I tackle some of these in the writing-related-fears portion of my Motivation master list.

2 - Don't Rush It - If you take the time to properly revise and edit your story, you can be confident in knowing you've put in the time and effort to make your story the best it possibly can be.

3 - Start Small - If you can, try sharing your story first with an "alpha reader," or in other words a trusted friend, family member, or community member who can appreciate your story. In this case, you might say you're not looking for specific feedback but just a general impression of what they liked about the story. This way, it's not about getting constructive criticism so much as getting over the hump of sharing it and getting the little boost of what they like about the story.

4 - Gradually Go Bigger - From there, you might try sending to a couple of beta readers and opening up to a bit more feedback. The great thing about this is not only are you conditioning yourself to sharing and getting the opinions of others, you can potentially use the feedback to iron out kinks in the story if there are any.

5 - Use a Pen Name - You might want to consider using a pen name for anonymity. Pen names have many different purposes, but much like wearing a mask at a party, they can decrease your inhibition a bit because it creates a bit of a buffer between the real you and your writing.

6 - Post and Let It Go - Many writers get around the issue by simply not engaging with reader feedback, and if you're someone who cares what other people think or are likely to be daunted by the prospect of criticism, this may be the best route for you to go. Now, I know that with fan-fiction in particular, reader feedback is often used for improvement. But the truth of the matter is, you shouldn't rely on reader feedback for improvement anyway. Alpha readers, beta readers, critique partners, and editors are a much better metric for where to improve. When you get your feedback elsewhere, you can post your story and let it fly on its own without worrying about what others are saying.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[f1goat]

mistake(s) x lando norris + part seven

In which you keep making the same mistake over and over again by fucking the boy you hate the most.

masterlist - playlist

part one part two part three part four part five part six

warnings: smut but with a plot, 18+ | english is not my first language fem!verstappen reader x lando norris

“Finally some fucking points,” Lando says relieved. He’s happy about the way his day went. The race may have been a total shit show, but for once it worked out for him. He finally got to race a bit more how he likes it. The car didn’t let him down this time. 

Lando is standing in a club with Max. Both celebrating their race. It’s a good day. He knows that you’re around somewhere in the club as well. He didn’t see you yet after his race. It kinda disappointed him, but he gets it. Your brother got first place - once again, so it’s logical you were with him at Red Bull to celebrate. But still. A text would be nice? He wonders why you didn’t text him about his points. But maybe it’s just a simple answer he rather won’t hear. You probably don’t really care about it. 

He takes a sip from his drink. For once Lando decided to drink some alcohol as well. After his points he deserves this. He talks a bit with Max about the race, mainly about the red flags that kept coming back. It was a weird race on that aspect. He still doesn’t get it, but he can’t say he’s mad about it. 

Lando wonders when you will show up. He knows you’re around in the club as well. He just didn’t see you yet. Hopefully that will change soon. You’re probably somewhere with Kelly he guesses. Maybe you’re just having fun, dancing around and drinking as well. Max told him that you were fond of the cocktails here. Now that Lando thinks about it, he has never seen you under the influence of alcohol. He wonders how you’ll be when you’re drunk. Maybe he will find out someday. 

Unknown to Lando is that he will find out pretty soon how you are when you’re drunk. After you’re confusing conversation with Max from a couple days back, you can’t stop thinking about you’re feelings for Lando. It has gotten pretty clear for you. You like him. Now that you realize, you also know that it might be time to stop this confusing thing with Lando. You can’t go on like this. It makes you feel disappointed and sad. And what’s a better solution than alcohol for those feelings? 

You’re dancing the night away with Kelly. The drinks are hitting you harder then ever. Maybe it’s because you don’t drink normally. You know that Lando is around here as well, but you don’t have the courage to see him right now. Since your realization, you don’t know how to act around Lando anymore. After the qualifications yesterday you couldn’t stop stuttering when he was with you and Max. Things are getting bad rather quickly. 

“Let’s go to the boys,” Kelly tells you. 

“Hmmm,” you say before taking a few more sips of your drink. You hoped to be a bit more drunk before seeing Lando. Maybe then you can behave normally around him. Kelly doesn’t wait for you to say anything else, she pulls you with her by your arm. 

Before you know it you’re standing in front of Lando again. You quickly empty your drink before muttering something about getting a new one. Letting Kelly, Max and Lando behind confused.

Lando didn’t even got the chance to greet you. He wonders about your sudden move to leave directly. Your dress distracts him a bit from his confusing thoughts. You look amazing. When you walk away, Lando keeps looking at you. He notices the way your dress moves slightly around your hips. The pinkish dress looks great on you. After a bit of doubting Lando decides to follow you towards the bar. 

He quickly finds you at the bar and takes place next to you. Before he gets the chance to let you know that he’s here, the bartender starts a conversation with you. 

“What’s your name beautiful?” The bartender asks you. 

“I’m Y/N,” you giggle. There’s the effect of the alcohol. You don’t even like the bold way of flirting the bartender does. Why are you even responding?

“I’m Jake,” the bartender tells you, “and this drink is one the house.”

Lando cringes from the conversation. He notices the good looks of the bartender. Could it be that you’re interested in Jake?

“Oh, thank you Jake,” you reply. 

Lando feels the sudden urge the mend himself into the conversation. Before he can think about it, he actually does so. He slips his arm around your waist and looks a bit annoyed at Jake. 

“That won’t be necessary Jake,” Lando states, he grabs his wallet and gets out some cash to pay for your drink. He slams it onto the bar while sending another annoyed glare at the bartender. 

You’re surprised by Lando. You didn’t realize that he was standing next to you. Where did he come from? And his arm is around your waist? Why does he act like this? You notice his frustrated tone towards Jake. What’s going on? 

“Oh sorry mate,” Jake says, “Didn’t knew she was taken. You’re lucky.”

“Yeah, I am,” Lando replies, “Come Y/N, let’s go back to Max and Kelly.”

Lando his arm stays around your waist while he walks with you through the crowd. 

“Your arm is around my waist?” You ask Lando a bit confused. You still don’t get what just happened.

“Yes I’m aware of that. What about it?” Lando replies.

You don’t know what to say to Lando. He confuses you. What about it? Why would he walk around in a public place with you close to his body like this? You let out a sigh. Why is everything so confusing all the time? It takes you a while before you realize that Lando isn’t taking you to Max and Kelly like he said earlier. He is taking you outside with him. It doesn’t take him long to do so. In only a few minutes you’re standing outside of the club with Lando. 

You want to ask Lando what he is doing, why you’re standing here with him instead of being with Max and Kelly, but before you can ask anything Lando starts to ask questions himself. 

Lando can’t stop himself from asking the things his mind has been occupied by for the whole evening. He thinks about the way you ignored him, how you didn’t say anything about his race and you’re weird interaction with that bartender. The words are falling out of his mouth before he can think about them. 

“Why are you acting so weird?” Is his first question. You can’t even think of an answer before Lando asks you another question. “Why didn’t you text me after the race?” And another. “Why didn’t you congratulate me with my points?” You want to say something, but Lando doesn’t stop asking questions. “Are you into that bartender?”

“Lan,” you sigh when he finally stops asking questions. “I don’t even remember half of the questions you asked. What’s going on?”

“I should ask you that!” Lando exclaims annoyed. He doesn’t know why he is yelling al of the sudden. He does know that he feels pretty frustrated. It’s him too much. Your weird behavior from the last days and that fucking Jake guy. 

“There’s nothing?” You try to convince yourself when you say those words, but you notice that it comes out as a question. Of course there’s something. You like Lando. That’s the baddest thing that could happen. 

“Then why are you ignoring me?” Lando continues to ask you.

“I’m talking to you, so I’m not ignoring you,” you state matter of factly. 

“Cut the bullshit,” Lando sighs annoyed. “You’re acting strange since Thursday. You barely talk to me, you leave when I come around and you don’t even congratulated me after I finally scored some points.” 

“There’s nothing going on,” you try again to convince Lando. 

“You act like there’s something going on,” Lando goes on. 

“Why do you even care?” You ask frustrated, “We’re just fucking, why care about me not congratulating you?” You realize that came out way harder then you actually meant it. Fuck. 

“You know what, you’re right,” Lando says, “I don’t care. Just continue to act like this. I’m going back.”

+++

Since your conversation with Lando you can’t stop thinking about the words you have said to him. They were harsh. And more important, they were lies. If you were just fucking with each other, why would Lando plan a whole day in Australia? Why would you sleep over at his place then? And if you were just fucking with him, then why are you feeling like this? 

You try to forget all about it. You have drank way more then you should have. You’re dancing with strangers at the moment. There’s a boy dancing closely to you. You have no idea who it is. You try to ignore the boy, but he keeps coming closer to you. You watch around you for a bit, maybe Kelly is close and can save you from the strange boy? Then you notice him. Of course. Lando is standing only a few steps away from you and his eyes are glued to your body. He’s staring so much you don’t even doubt about it this time. You don’t know what hit you, but you decide to give Lando a show. 

You weren’t the only one who said harsh words. Lando said you were right. He doesn’t care. You will show him exactly how much he cares.

Lando notices you getting closer to the unknown boy behind you. He sees the way you greet the boy, only to hug with him a few seconds later. He’s already feeling annoyed by it. 

Of course you know this is the most wrong way to get Lando his attention, but you’re still happy when you notice that it’s working. You notice Lando his white knuckles that are holding his drink way too tight. Something else you notice is the annoyed look on his face. It’s hard to miss. 

Lando doubts about his options. He wants nothing more then to go over to you and pull you away with him. But what if you don’t want that? What if you’re actually interested in the boy behind you? You made it clear earlier that you’re not interested in him, so why would he bother? Lando notices the fast pace you have while drinking your cocktail. He realizes that you’re probably drunk. He starts to pay a bit more attention to the way you look around and the way you’re moving. It seems like you’re actually drunk. Then he should do something, right? You are in no right mind to be close with this boy. What if he is using your drunk state?

You decide to give Lando one more minute before you’re going to leave the boy dancing alone. You realize that the stranger is probably hopeful to end this night somewhere else and that’s something you really don’t want. So it’s better to stop on time. You feel the way the hands of the stranger touch your body, pulling you softly by your hips. Maybe you should ignore that minute plan and just leave already. 

It doesn’t take Lando more then ten seconds to stand in front of you and the boy. He noticed the way the guy kept coming closer to you and started to touch you more and more. He decided to stop this nonsense. Lando is quick to grab your arm, softly he pulls you closer towards himself and farther away from the stranger. 

You’re relieved when you feel Lando his hand holding your wrist. 

“We’re going home,” Lando states without even looking at the unknown guy. You hear the frustration dripping through his voice. 

“Home?” You ask Lando surprised. “We’re in Australia. Not Monaco. We can’t go home that easy.” 

Lando realizes at that moment that you’re more drunk then he expected. Fuck. He sighs before pulling you with him. This is going to be a long night. Still, Lando feels frustrated with you and he wants to tell you about it. When you’re standing outside with him, waiting for a taxi, he shares a piece of his mind. 

“What the fuck were you thinking Y/N?” Lando asks you, the frustration is still present in his voice. “What if that boy wanted to use you in your drunken state? What if I wasn’t nearby?” He continues to ask you annoyed. 

You giggle. You don’t think about the words that are coming out of your mouth. “I knew you were close,” you tell Lando. 

“So that’s why you did it? You thought I would come to save you if it didn’t work out as you planned?” Lando asks annoyed. 

“Nope,” you say with a smile.

“Then why would you do something that stupid?” Lando continues to ask. 

Again, you don’t think about your words. You wish you did. The alcohol causes you to say them way too soon. 

“I wanted your attention,” you simply state. 

Lando turns himself more towards you. He looks confused at you. Did you actually just tell him that you wanted his attention? Lando lets out a sigh. This must be the alcohol talking. 

“Well it worked,” Lando tells you, “but I don’t know if this is the kind of attention you wanted.” 

Before you can question Lando his words, he pulls you into a taxi with him. He ignores you during the ride back to the hotel. You feel yourself sober up a bit during the ride. You slowly start to realize what you have done and said. Fuck, you probably screwed up everything. 

+++

“So you wanted my attention?” Lando grunts. 

You have only been in your hotel room for a few seconds, but Lando is already unzipping your dress. Before you know it, you’re standing in your lingerie in front of him. He turns you around so you face him. Lando is still looking frustrated. 

“I told you babygirl, I don’t know if this is the kind of attention you wanted,” Lando tells you. 

You don’t know how to reply to Lando. In your drunken mind, every kind of attention from his is wanted. But it would stupid to say something like that to him. Right? You hold back the words. You don’t want to embarrass yourself even more tonight. Lando doesn’t look away from your almost naked body. He notices the way your lingerie isn’t matching like usual. This time you didn’t plan anything. Your agenda doesn’t include sex, he thinks. 

“Go lay down on the bed, naked. I’ll be there in a few,” Lando tells you. He takes your room card out of your hands. You quickly walk towards the hotel bed. When you pull of your lingerie, you hear how the hotel door is being opened and closed. Is Lando leaving? You trust him on his word and still act out his instructions. 

It feels like hours before Lando is standing in front of you again. Lando knows it was only two minutes. He is proud of himself for finally bringing a toy with him. He cursed himself multiple times for forgetting about it, but this time he didn’t. 

When Lando walks into the bed room, he notices the way you’re already laying ready for him. He lets out a soft groan. Fuck. 

“You look so fucking good,” Lando tells you, “so beautiful.” 

He walks closer to you. You notice that he’s holding a small bag. You wonder what he brought with him. Lando pulls out something that you quickly recognize as a blind fold. 

“Do you trust me?” Lando asks you. 

“Yes,” you reply within a heartbeat. 

Lando sits down next to you on the bed. He wraps the blindfold around your head. It doesn’t take long before you don’t see anything anymore. You wonder about Lando his plans. You also hope he still remembers that you’re on your period. 

“Spread your legs,” Lando tells you. 

You open your legs for him. Apparently not fast enough. Lando takes the matter into his own hands, he pulls your legs further apart for himself. You have the feeling that you hear something buzzing closely to you. Lando is caressing one of your legs, his hand is close by your cunt but not close enough. You let out a whimper. 

Then you find out what the buzzing sound was. Lando is holding something vibrating close to your tits. You guess it’s some sort of sex toy. It arouses you already. Lando brings it closer to your nipple, you feel the vibrations against it. He switches between your tits and nipples. The vibration is everywhere. In the mean time, his other hand is still massaging your leg. He comes closer to your cunt, but it’s still not close enough. 

Lando slowly moves the vibrating toy towards your pubic mound. You feel the vibrations getting closer to where you want them to be. Lando massages one of your tits with his other hand. You like the fact that you’re getting surprised by his movements. Every time he moves his hand on you, you have no idea where it will end up. Just like the toy. 

Lando removes the toy from your body for a few seconds. When you feel it again, you almost jump up. The vibrations are going faster. You feel how Lando moves it around the lips of your vagina. It’s getting closer to where you want it to be, but it’s still not doing enough for you. Lando moves it closer to your clitoris, but also moves it directly away from it when he comes to close. You let out another whimper.

“Stop.. teasing,” you say softly, “please.”

“This is my attention,” Lando states, “you wanted this.”

You don’t reply to him. Lando moves the toy and suddenly it’s touching your clitoris softly. He traces around it for a bit, before letting it touch you properly. You are quick to let out a moan. That seems to be Lando his cue to decrease the vibrations. You feel the toy slowing down a bit. You let out a frustrated sound. Lando moves it away again after a few more seconds. He places it back on your tit, it’s vibrating against your nipple. 

You hear how Lando is undoing himself from his bottoms as well. His belt makes a few metallic sounds, you wonder what he does with it. Lando moves the toy completely away from you this time. You feel the bed sunken a bit, meaning Lando just took place next to you. At least, you guess so. You feel how Lando takes you in to your arms, he lifts you up. Only a few seconds later you’re finding yourself in a new position. It feels like your laying on his lap. Your ass is high up. Lando caresses it. Slowly he moves his hand around it. At this point you almost feel like dripping out of your cunt. You need him to do something. It’s making you crazy. 

“If you take this like a good girl, maybe you’ll deserve to cum later,” Lando tells you, “But you also need to tell me if you don’t like it. This is new for me as well.”

You feel yourself getting more heated. You like doing new things with Lando, but you like it even more when something is new for him as well. It makes you feel good. 

Then without a warning, Lando smacks your ass with his hand. You are surprised by his sudden action. You let out a soft yelp, but it quickly turns into a moan when you feel Lando his hand hitting your ass again. 

“Like that babygirl?” Lando asks you. 

“Y.. Yes,” you stammer. 

His hand hits your ass again. You let out another moan. Then he stops for a bit to massage your ass. It feels amazing. You feel on fire. 

“Count the next ones for me,” Lando tells you sternly, “If you miss one, I’ll start again.”

You hear his belt clinging again. The metal sounds make you wonder what he is doing with his belt. When the cold leather of his belt comes in contact with your ass, you realize what he’s doing with his belt. He’s spanking you with it. You let out a surprised gasp. It’s harder then his hand was, but it’s still feeling insanely good. You feel how your ass is already getting a bit sore, but you can’t deny that you like the feeling of it. 

“Count,” Lando reminds you. 

“One,” you quickly say.

He’s quick to let his belt hit your ass again. 

“Two,” you moan softly. 

The third time he lets his belt hit you even harder then before. You let out a hard moan when the belt comes in contact with you ass.

“Fuck,” you hiss, “Three.”

Lando takes a short break. His hands caresses your ass. Then you notice the familiar vibrating sound again. What is Lando doing? You gasp when you feel him slide the toy inside of you. It slowly vibrates into your cunt. 

The belt comes in contact with your ass again. The vibrations inside of you are making it feel even better. 

“F.. four,” you stammer.

“Would you like one more babygirl?” Lando asks you.

“Yes,” you are quick to reply. You notice your own desperate tone. 

“Ask nicely,” Lando says. 

Lando lets the belt slowly move around your ass in the mean time. It’s making you crazy. The vibrating toy inside of you and the belt that can hit you anytime on your ass now. 

“Please Lan,” you beg softly, “One more, please.”

Lando can’t resist the urge to smirk. He lifts the belt up once again, only to let it hit you on the ass a few seconds later. It was harder then he did before. He notices the way your ass is already getting red. He did expect this to be a turn on for him, but he didn’t expect it to work this well. It feels like his cock can burst out anytime. It’s throbbing crazily right now.

“Five,” you cry out. You feel like an absolute mess. Moans are trembling over your lips. You can’t stop them. 

“Fuck,” Lando moans, “You’re such a slut for me.”

“Only for you,” you whimper softly.

“What did you say?” Lando asks. He needs to know for sure he heard you right.

“I’m only a slut for you,” you confess. 

“Fuck,” Lando sighs, “you’re perfect.”

Lando lifts you up again. You quickly feel the bed touch your back. Lando gets the toy out of your cunt. You let out a disappointed whimper. Lando hoovers above you. He lets his cock slide through your labia a few time. You’re literally dripping for him at this point. It’s making him even more horny. 

When you feel the tip of Lando his cock getting almost inside your cunt, you feel the need to inform him. What if he doesn’t want to fuck you because of your period? You certainly don’t hope so. 

“Lan,” you say, “I’m still on my period.”

Lando reacts with his movements first. He slides his dick inside of you. You directly feel fulled up. 

“I don’t care,” Lando states, “I want to fuck you.”

Then he does exactly what he said. He starts to fuck you on a fast pace. You feel his cock sliding in and outside of you over and over again. You’re shaking underneath him. Then you notice the familiar vibrating sound again. You’re surprised when you feel the vibrations on your clit. Lando is holding to toy onto your clitoris while fucking you. You let out a hard moan. 

“Fuck,” you moan.

Lando increases the vibrations of the toy. You feel like you’re going crazy. Lando feels your walls clench around his dick. He notices the way you start to shake even more. When your walls start to clench even more around him, he lets go as well. Together you orgasm.

part eight

[rose-pearls]

prompt 18 with finnick odair x fem!reader yelling at the other because you were scared to lose them

maybe something in the sewer scene but finnick almost dies instead of dying because lord that man deserved better

Hi! Thank you for the request, hopefully you like it!

You had a bad feeling.

Peeta and Katniss had been whispering with each other for the better part of an hour trying to find each other again as the rest of you were supposed to sleep but you couldn’t. 

Something was coming your way, you didn’t know what, but you had a bad feeling and usually your intuition was right.

“Hey, everything alright?”, you can’t help but jump slightly at Finnick’s touch on your arm and you turn around to see his worried gaze on you.

“Yeah, just have a bad feeling. Don’t know why. You?”, he looks worried at your words, and you try to smile at him reassuringly, but it doesn’t seem make him more at ease. 

“I’m right here, alright? No matter what happens.”, he whispers under his breath, and you take a minute to look at him. His sea green eyes are tired but there is still something in there that you can’t decipher. His hair is more of a mess then usually, but it makes him look younger. 

“I know, me too.”, you whisper back after a few seconds and the two of you just look at each other for a moment.

Finnick and you had always had a difficult story, you had won the 66th Hunger Games and the man quite literally saved you from yourself. The two of you grew closer to each other as you were sold to the Capitol and along the way you fell for the man. His kind heart under all of the charm and the small boy that just wants someone to appreciate him for more than his looks still make your heart hurt. You didn’t know if Finnick liked you that way, after all there was always something complicated between him and Annie but still you couldn’t help but hope for someday.

“Katniss.”, a voice whispers and you feel your breath stop at the words, you feel like time freezes as you turn around like the rest of the squad towards the tunnel.

“Katniss.”, the voices get louder and louder until someone screams to get out of here. 

You take Peeta with you, knowing that the man was still in a fragile state, and you try to lead him somewhere safe while Katniss uses her arrows against the mutts. 

The water is strong against your tired body, but you pull through, taking Peeta further and further until you arrive in a large space. A ladder can be seen, and you think for a moment that you can safely get the man out of there before a loud snarl comes behind you.

The mutt jumps out of nowhere and you manage to shoot it with your gun enough for it to fall backwards but others start to arrive, and you don’t know what you are going to do. Even when the rest of the squad is there you wonder if all of you are going to be making it alive.

Finnick has his trident and despite Peeta having little ability to use his hands he is able to get one off of Finnick.

Katniss starts to yell that we have to go to the ladder and as you get ready to go up on the platform you feel something taking your leg and throwing you under water. The sharp pian in your leg is enough to make your mind go back to your games but as the pain intensifies you remember what is happening right now.

Coming back up you see Finnick taking the mutt off of you but at the same time a mutt comes towards him.

“Finnick! Watch out!”, you yell and Finnick has by some miracle the time to turn around and kill the mutt. 

He takes your hand and helps you up on the platform while trying to kill the mutts, but one manages to hurt his arm making him wince in pain.

“Finnick, we need to go! There is no time to be a hero.”, you yell and take his hand to get him out of the water. 

A mutt nearly manages to take him at the waist but a gunshot straight in his forehead makes him fall back, letting Finnick come up on the platform.

Peeta looks pale with the gun in his hand, but he quickly lets it fall to the ground before climbing back up at Katniss’s desperate words.

“Peeta, common.”, Finnick yells and the three of you manage to make it out before Katniss whispers the code three times and bombs the entire thing. 

“We can’t stop, we need to go somewhere safe.”, you hear someone say and you nod, pushing all of the emotions under until you get somewhere safe. The pain in your leg is getting worse but you know that you need to get out of this place.

The run is long and painful as you see some of the squad disappearing under the lights and you try not to feel sick as Castor disappears in thin air. You nearly don’t make it and as you get ready to continue to run you hear Katniss’s yell towards Peeta.

“Stay with me.”, you hear her whisper under her breath as you wait, trying to get your breath under control. You don’t know how the boy was going to react but at her words his eyes seem to clear up and he whispers something back before Katniss takes his hand and starts running again. 

They arrive near a house, and as the door opens you feel slightly scared at the sight of the woman in front of you. You had heard of her, Tigris, but you had never seen her before, she seems to have no issue hiding you even if she could get a big sum of money for all of you.

The basement is larger than you thought it would be, filled with banquets and tin cans. Katniss is looking even paler than before, and you all turn to look at her as she starts rambling.

“I lied. I lied when I told all of you that I was-”, she continues to ramble along, and you close your eyes. You knew that every single one of you knew that she had lied about the fact that she was sent to kill Snow by Coin but still you had chosen to follow her, the Mockingjay.

“We knew. We followed you because we want the same thing as you do, Snow dead.”, you tell her, cutting through her rambles and she looks at you with tear filled eyes.

“You didn’t kill them, he did. Eyes on the prize, don’t let him get to you again. Don’t let Coin either.”, you tell her, and she looks taken aback for a moment.

“What do you mean?”, she whispers but you can see the understanding in her eyes.

“I can’t be the only one to not trust that woman completely, right?”, a murmur of agreement passes through the room, and you sigh under your breath.

“Trust your instincts, they saved you before and they’ll do it again and again.”, she nods slowly, looking in deep thought after your words.

“We should look over our injuries.”, Finnick says after a moment and we all agree, sitting down on the different patches of fur across the room.

Finnick comes towards you, and he starts rubbing alcohol down the scratches on your leg, trying to do it quickly as he sees you wincing. He takes his time with the bandages, and you can’t help but look at him for a moment, wondering.

“Why did you do that? Put yourself on the line for me?”, you ask him, and you feel his finger stop, as if frozen by the question.

“I couldn’t let that mutt get to you.”, he says after a moment, and you sigh at his words.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”, you tell him, and you know that your words should be softer but the stress of everything is getting to you and the realization that you could have lost him is a hard one.

“What should I have done then? Let you die?”, his voice is getting louder, harsher but still his fingers are delicate as he finishes the bandages to look at you.

“I don’t know, just not put yourself on the line like that. Multiple times.”, your voice is getting louder, and you know that you should keep it down, but you can’t help it, your mind is spiraling at all the different ways Finnick could have died.

“I wanted to protect you!”, he yells after a second.

“You could have died Finnick!”, the words seem to hit him as he looks taken aback and the room is silent after your words.

“You could have died there.”, you say again pushing a finger on his chest at each word, feeling tears in your eyes.

“I could have lost you without you knowing that I love you.”, you whisper brokenly, your voice raw from emotions, ones that you haven’t felt in a long time.

Finnick is looking at you in disbelief, like your words are something that he can’t believe but after a moment the finger that had been stabbing him in the chest is laying across his chest and that seems to make him react.

His lips are soft as he brings you into a heated kiss, trying to convey every emotion he has ever felt for you into one kiss. Your hand on his chest stays there but your other hand brings him closer by his hair. He is holding your cheeks like you are the most precious thing on earth and that he needs to protect you.

After god knows how long you pull back, needing the air to breathe again and as your eyes flutter open you see his familiar green eyes. 

“I love you too, so much. You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted to say that.”, he whispers, looking at you with that same gaze he did earlier that day, one filled with love and adoration. 

His finger is softly rubbing your cheekbone and you can’t help but let a tear slip out of your eye.

“I’m sorry, I was just so scared to lose you.”, you whisper and Finnick nods un understanding.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t lose you either.”, the two of you look at each other for a moment smiling like idiots before a voice breaks through.

“Finally.”, Peeta mutters under his breath and everyone turns to look at the blond man who looks surprised at his own words.

“Sorry, you two were just verry obvious.”, the rest of the group agrees, and you can’t help but laugh at the reactions. 

“Thank you.”, Finnick says at Peeta, and the man looks at him slightly confused.

“For what?”

“For saving my life.”, Finnick says, and you can’t help but nod at his words, smiling gratefully at an embarrassed Peeta.

“You would’ve done the same thing, so no need to thank me. I’m glad that you are alright.”, Finnick smiles back at the man before kissing my forehead.

“Help me bandage my arm?”

The rest of the night is spent looking over everyone’s injuries and as all of you decide on a sleep schedule you lay down next to Finnick.

“Sleep well.”, you whisper and Finnick smiles before kissing you slowly.

“Good night beautiful.”, he brings you closer, as close as your injuries allow him too and as you drift off to sleep you can’t help but feel safe for the first time in a long time.

You know deep down that this isn’t the end but with Finnick and the rest of the squad you know that you can do anything.

[bruhstation]

assorted 2x3x4 stuff from a few months ago (except the last one! it’s recent! it’s a limbus company AU I’m working on)

also a small life update under the cut

hi! it’s been a while since I last uploaded art or anything cstm-related. the truth is that I’m a college student now! yay! I’m studying to become a doctor too! double yay! I’ve been feeling much at home here rather than at high school to be honest XD and it’s great to have the privacy I desired compared to my dormitory life many months ago. the big city I currently reside in (I’m a country boy lol) also gives me a lot of cool places to visit, cool people to meet. I’ve been doing well, maybe a bit on the mental side? haha, it’s just the first week of uni, so I won’t get way too hopeful, but one’s gotta be optimistic

but with university comes a lot of homeworks!! not as much as in high school, but I get home late and I have to think about lots of things other than homeworks, like cleaning the apartment, cooking, etc. I’ve been busy both with my personal life and my social life in uni. I’m also currently hyperfixated on my ocs and welcome home, and lately I’ve been trying to slow down on drawing too much and avoiding burnout (also some things regarding the ttte community but atp it’s just a long lost memory and I prefer to think about the better stuff).

I have many drawing ideas for casa tidmouth, a few fanfics planned too, but I’m whittling at it all, bit by bit, at a pace I desire. hopefully, I can fully return to bruhstation later and gain my footing again. I love my story, I love my friends here, I love my supporters. I’ll just take my sweet sweet time.

thanks a lot for sticking around!

oh, I’ve also been reading more books. a LOT of them!! I think they’re a good way to expand the way I weave the themes in my story, and they’re so good. demian, the stranger, 1984, wuthering heights, moby dick... do check them out someday!!!

[connorsnothereeither]

So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

i loooooovvvvvveee this one!! im so excited for all the angst leading up to bobby finding out (or i guess charlie realizing that bobby is eddie’s boss). so happy for eddie growing emotionally - him accepting that he’s in love with a man, and that man is the 2nd most important person in his life 🥲 someone he can’t lose. 💗💗💗

also, does frank canonically have a husband? or is that a headcanon ive absorbed? (i watched 911 in like 2 weeks and i thought he was paralyzed until i rewatched the s3 xmas ep and he stands up and is an amputee 🤦‍♂️)

HEY! Thank you so much! I am really excited for sharing it.

And tbh, I recently rewatched, and I don't think we know anything personal about Frank. So that might be fanon.

---

78 for ❄️:

---

"I know it feels like forever, but believe me. The wound isn’t as deep as it seems. You’ll get him back.”

Eddie’s eyes start to well up. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“I do,” Charlie says. “I do know.” 

“How?” Eddie asks, helpless. If someone has answers he is desperate for them.

“You feel like you’re at the end of something, but you’re so young. So ahead of where most of the people in our group are. You are going to do better, because you’re braver and stronger than you realize. You will get through this. And this will all just be a distant, painful memory. This isn’t your whole story, Eddie.” 

Eddie can’t stop the tears in time. He starts to cry, right in full camera view of Charlie. 

“I’ll prove it,” Charlie says. 

“How can you do that?” Eddie asks tiredly, voice tight enough to crack.

“I’ll fix things with my brother,” Charlie announces. 

“What?” Eddie asks. 

“Doesn’t matter what happens between you and your guy, okay? I’m letting you out of the deal. I will still talk to my brother,” Charlie says. 

“You will?” Eddie asks, blinking through his tears. 

“Yes. I will. That is the oldest, deepest wound in my life left with someone alive to mend it, and I will do everything in my power. If I can do that, there’s no way you can’t fix things with your son. Much sooner.” 

“You don’t have to… Just to make me feel better,” Eddie blubbers, sort of pathetically.

“Not just to make you feel better,” Charlie smiles. “It’s about damn time to be brave, I think.” 

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right about that.”

“I’ll let you know how it goes, okay?” Charlie assures him.

Eddie nods. “Thanks. I really hope it goes well. You deserve it.”

“I hope so, too.” Charlie sighs. “I guess it’s time for me to plan a trip.” 

“Your brother doesn’t live in Wisconsin?” Eddie asks. 

“No. I moved states decades ago. He has too.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Eddie mumbles. “Well, good luck. Safe travels. And uh… I believe in you.”

“Thanks, kid. I believe in you, too.”

▪️▪️▪️

After his call with Charlie, Eddie thinks a lot about being brave. 

Not about Buck. That’ll take some courage, sure. But not the most courage. And it’s not the most pressing need, either. He loves Buck. He loves Buck so much. He wants them to be together, and he wants to be a good partner for him. Someday. Hopefully. But he knows that none of that will make him happy long term if he doesn’t fix things with his son. 

He needs to be brave for Christopher now. The way Charlie is being brave with his brother. 

Only, he doesn’t quite know how. What is the line between being brave and trodding over boundaries? How does he make things better without risking making them worse? 

[rollofleaf]

Owlcatober Day 1: Teatime

Hopefully I'll be able to do this consistently this year! They're going to be short because I'm trying to do all of them. First up we have toxic longing yuri. I swear I'm going to get to all of my Owlcat OCs and it won't just be Hilde and Arueshalae forever, so let's start with Ethyn!

“Right, then we’ll set out for Varnhold immediately!” With the council dismissed, Ethyn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. First her barony had been assaulted by hordes of monsters from the First World, now her neighbors had just vanished without a trace. It was no wonder no one had managed to settle the Stolen Lands yet, if events like these were normal. But Captain Varn, her missing neighbor, had been kind to her ever since they first met. His mercenaries had aided her barony against the animal attacks, he was a good trade partner, and he had even sent personal gifts of weapons and magic items to her. If Ethyn didn’t know better, she’d suspect he fancied her! Regardless, it was long overdue for her to aid him in turn, so she packed her bags and set off quickly, throwing the doors to her audience hall open and stepping out.

As the paladin passed through the doors, a brief bout of nausea overcame her. When she opened her eyes, she was somewhere else. She glanced behind her, the doors to her audience hall were nowhere in sight. She felt the tingle of magic brimming in the air, familiar from her last visit to the First World to destroy the flower assaulting her kingdom with monsters. And standing before her was Nyrissa, the beautiful nymph that broke her heart. The nymph whose heart had been stolen.

Ethyn's cheeks flushed with joy at the sight, but she held her composure and gave the nymph a calm, even look. Still, the question fluttered into her mind and she had to ask, "Nyrissa... Are you responsible for what is happening to Varnhold?"

The scorn in the nymph's eyes was replaced by a spark of surprise, quickly buried. "You... Know my name. Hmph. Even a simple hound can surprise on occasion. Come. Share some tea with me and I will answer your question.”

Suspicion sparked in the paladin’s golden eyes, but it would be rude of her to reject an invitation! And to sit across from the nymph, so close to her… No, Ethyn, focus! The nymph walked over to an ornate wooden table for two that had appeared in the mist, alongside some tea.

Ethyn closed her eyes and murmured a soft prayer, then walked over and took a seat. She smiled softly as Nyrissa poured her a cup. “Thank you. But… Why, if I may ask? Such civility, serving me tea, it’s so unlike you.”

The nymph flashed a coy smirk, making no attempt to hide the cold, loveless emptiness in her eyes. “Perhaps I am simply seeking to poison you, hound. Why, if I may ask, do you indulge in sharing tea with one who will destroy you?”

Ethyn flashed a smile as she took a long sip of the tea. It was fragrant and strange, tinted with unknown notes from the First World. “Mmm. It is delicious poison, I’m quite glad I protected myself from it.” She winked at Nyrissa’s scowl. “As for why… Well, I cannot refuse such time spent with the one I love.”

The nymph sipped her own tea, raising an eyebrow at Ethyn at that word she so detested. “Love, you say? As though a mortal could understand the depth of that terrible feeling… It seems I didn’t crush your heart as thoroughly as I had hoped. Or are you simply delusional?”

“You shattered my heart, Nyrissa.” The paladin maintained her calm smile, though there were notes of anguish buried underneath. “But it’s alright. Far worse was done to you. I’ve glimpsed what you used to be, the Guardian of the Bloom, and that was stolen from you…”

“So you think you love an illusion. A phantom. Naive girl.” Sparks of anger lit in the nymph’s eyes as she stared Ethyn down.

“No. I love you. As you are. As you were. As you could be, someday. As I hope you will be. And I will try to save you.” The paladin flashed a smile, full of genuine compassion and sorrow. It nearly made Nyrissa wretch.

The nymph’s gaze was as cold and cruel as ever, but she felt something stir inside her. The paladin was sickening and naive, but there was something endearing about it, like the devotion of a puppy. An unbidden smirk came to her lips as she set her cup down and stared over at Ethyn. “If you are so foolish as to love me, then would you allow me to kill you? It would prove your devotion to me.”

Ethyn let out a melodious chuckle. “No, my lady. I know my feelings are not returned, and I do not care. I know that you wish to destroy me and those under my protection, and I will fight with everything I have to prevent that. It does not change that I love you.”

“Then you are casting yourself down the path of either death at my hands, or breaking your own heart by killing me.” Of course the latter was quite impossible, but Nyrissa could humor this idiotic paladin.

“Perhaps. And perhaps if my heart must truly break, we will understand each other.” Ethyn idly took a sip of tea and let out a deep sigh. “There is something so beautiful about doomed love, isn’t there?”

Anger sparked in Nyrissa. What was this girl, some kind of tourist parodying her own tragedy? What beauty could she find in Nyrissa’s suffering? At last, that was the final straw. Abruptly, the nymph stood up. “Enough, hound. How dare you insult me like this... We are finished here.”

Ethyn tried to protest, but the nymph was gone before she could react. “I… I am sorry…” She said to the quiet town. The sweet taste of tea still lingered in her mouth. Perhaps she was making too light of the nymph’s situation? Or was that just her trying to manipulate Ethyn? She only wanted to understand Nyrissa. But how could she? She was just a mortal girl, she knew nothing of what it was like to be a fey queen, much less one suffering from the curse that afflicted Nyrissa. But… She could learn to understand her. She would learn. That understanding was love, to the paladin.

[luckydicekirby]

would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite

okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!

(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)

this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.

the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!

One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.

For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.

oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.

ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:

Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.

and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:

Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 

[amorgansgal]

Please Don't Leave Me

Inspired by my own post, I decided to write a little fic for my female tiefling tav x Gale, but I've decided to avoid using names, so if you have an insecure tiefling tav who loves Gale then hopefully you might enjoy!

Female tiefling tav x Gale

CW: Some reference to sexual content, but nothing too explicit.

His mind drifts back to what she said now that they’re lying quietly, curled up with one another, her head resting on his shoulder, her fingers lightly skimming over his chest, her long nails leaving little goosebumps in their wake, his arm is wrapped around her, keeping her close, his hand resting on her hip, the other trails up her arm, until he cups her face and kisses her softly. Gods, he loves her and she is such a beauty, dark eyes gleam in the low light, her skin is soft but covered with little bumps and ridges he has made it his mission to map out, her lips full and soft and so easy to kiss. Every night when they close the tent flaps and tumble into bed together he thanks the stars, fate, the gods for letting him have just the smallest of tastes of this glorious, wondrous woman. How lucky he is to get to hold her, to kiss her, to love her and she… She loves and embraces and kisses him! 

And yet his mind replays her words, over and over and over, how when her arms and legs were wrapped around him, when he was buried inside her and she was panting and moaning so sweetly. 

‘Don’t leave me! Promise you won’t leave me!’ she had begged and he had sworn he never would, he had held her tighter, kissed her more passionately and fiercely, hoping that it would convey in some small form how much he adored her, how he would never ever even dream of leaving her, that he couldn’t.

“Why did you beg me not to leave you?” he asks now and feels her tense up, he soothingly strokes her arm and back and is glad when she relaxes. He kisses her forehead, mindful of her horns. “You must know that I could not even think of such a thing, that I love you too much and I know how lucky I am to even have you look at me.”

She shrugs and nestles closer. “I feel lucky to have you. You’re a great wizard and a wonderful man, you could have anyone you wanted. I know I don’t offer much-”

His hand tightens on her hip. “Well I do not want anyone else, I want you. I love you. And you offer me plenty, you offer kindness and goodness and unconditional love. I’d have to be a mad man to turn my nose up to that-”

“I’m a petty thief with a few knife tricks, not to mention my own past is… well… dubious,” she sighs.

“None of us are exactly without flaw,” he points out. “Besides, none of that matters to me. You must know that.”

“I just think you could do better and so I’m fearful you will do so and someday you will leave me.”

“I won’t. You have my word. My solemn oath. I will never leave you. And I cannot do better, when I already have the best woman in the entirety of Faerun.”

She gives a small snort of laughter. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do,” he places two fingers under her chin and raises her head, encouraging her to look at him. “You have my heart, entirely and completely. I am at your mercy, please don’t leave me and don’t doubt me.”

She smiles, almost shyly, and he kisses her again. She hums contentedly into the kiss and he brings her hand to cover his heart so she can feel it beating under her fingertips, then he covers her hand with his own. “This is all yours,” he murmurs.

[belee-art-dump]

I’m a Leah girlie I sWEAR

-

This emo guy just has me in a chokehold, but Leah will be next. Should be. Hopefully. Mayybbbeeee

-

I’m really trying to get better at drawing folks interacting with things, in hopes that someday I’ll be trying to add backgrounds too. But we’ll see about that one lmao

-

And is that a signature??? Yeaahhh, should’ve been smaller, but we’re trying, I like the design at least. Hopefully I’ll have that shit figured out someday ✨

[mychoombatheroomba]

I'll Be Missing You

Between the Bones (Leon x GN! Reader) - Chapter 44

Leon writes his letter to Sherry and you both continue to heal in different ways.

(Cross-posted from Ao3)

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Index

He finished the letter just before lights out. You helped, even if you insisted that it hadn’t been much. 

It helps to have someone listen to it, Leon had insisted, reading you the words he’d written and rewritten until at last he was satisfied. You’d done your best to point out what you thought Reed and Hellman would want more vague explanations about, suggesting how to phrase some things. Otherwise, your supportive expression and quiet nods were enough. 

The letter, though . . . that would never be enough. It would never convey all that Leon wished to say, or all of his regrets. It would never right the wrongs that began that night in Raccoon City. 

It was a start, though. 

Sherry,

I will never be able to apologize enough for not writing back to you sooner. I’m sorry, I promise if I could have, I would have. 

I am okay. I can’t tell you everything, but just know that I’m okay, and I’m so glad to hear that you are too! I’m so glad that you’re feeling better! Told you that you would! You’re a regular Supergirl! I know it’s frustrating, not being able to go back to school. Just keep studying. It’ll be easier when they let you go back that way! I know I probably sound like a boring old fart, but it’s true! 

And hey, tell you what? I don’t want you missing out on all the fun. Go ahead and watch Star Wars without me! You can write back to me and tell me all about what you thought, if you want! In fact, that’s my mission for you! Watch as many movies as you can! Read as many books, and just have as much fun as you can! I want to hear all about it! 

I wish I could tell you what I’ve been doing these past few months or tell you about the people I’ve met. I wish I could have written to you sooner. I wish a lot of things.  Just know that I’m going to be trying to keep people safe, just like Claire did for you. And know that I didn’t forget you. Never could. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit you. Someday soon, I hope. Until then, please keep writing to me. I’ll write you back every time, I promise!

Don’t get into too much trouble, okay? 

But even if you do, I know you’re smart enough to get out of it. Just stay safe, okay? Talk to you more soon, hopefully! 

I miss you too.

- Leon

It wasn’t perfect, but you nodded your approval as he finished reading it aloud all the same. “I think that’s good.” 

“Not too much?” Leon asked, eyes betraying his worry. 

“I’m not exactly an expert on writing letters.” 

Leon could sympathize. “Neither am I. Obviously.” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d written home because . . . well, there was really no home to write to. He’d wondered if that was the same for you, but there had been enough painful memories resurrected that day. He wouldn’t ask. Maybe you’d tell him eventually, but the two of you had given the fallen their due deference. It was their day, after all, but now, Leon wanted to think of the living. 

He wanted to think of just how lucky the two of you were to have survived all that you did, because he’d come so close to never knowing you at all. He’d nearly lived in a world without you - something that in just a few months had become unthinkable to him. 

The thought of leaving you in a few weeks was painful enough in his heart. When this had all begun, he’d never entertained the possibility that he’d finish his training before you. You’d been here longer. Trained harder. You were the best and then . . . well, you both knew how easily disaster could befall you and change everything, didn’t you? He didn’t want to leave you behind. Not now. Not after all that the two of you had shared, and all that he wanted to share with you still. But he couldn’t heal the broken bones in your side any faster. All he could do was try and remind you that he was out there. That he would think of you every day. 

“I can write to you,” he offered. “When I . . .” he didn’t even want to say it, just as you didn’t want to think about it. Leon saw your expression fall, something in your eyes going a little distant. You were worried. He could see it. He would be worried too, he supposed. But maybe if he wrote to you . . . 

You didn’t say anything, at first, just listening to the ever-playing radio. 

“I mean, if you want-”

You didn’t give Leon’s doubt time to grow, and he was grateful for that. “I do.” Your answer was simple and straightforward, as it always was. 

And as always, it made Leon smile. “I will, then.” 

“You’d better.” There was something in your voice. Strained. Brittle. Ready to break. Your voice had sounded like that throughout your entire tale of what happened that night in Finland. Then, as now, you hadn’t been able to look Leon in the eye as you spoke. 

So, he reached for your hand, his brow furrowing as the skin to skin contact made your nostrils flare and your lips purse. Like you were resetting the mask you wore. If that was what you needed right now, even if it hurt to see, Leon understood. That still didn’t stop him from holding your hand, even if for just a few moments of silence. 

Moments that ended when you spoke, your voice soft. “And you’d better be careful, too,” you finally said, and the desperation of your words . . . it gave Leon pause because he’d never heard you like that before. 

He knew exactly why you were making that demand of him now, too. He knew it was because the memories of those you’d lost weighed on you still, because you cared for him. 

Because you didn’t want his to be a story you told and mourned in a year. 

“I will be,” he agreed, but when you finally turned to him, he knew that his words weren’t enough. 

“You have to be-”

Your name slipped from his lips, and he leaned in, his free hand finding your cheek. Making you look into his eyes fully so you would know the sincerity of his promise. “I will be.” Because he wouldn’t leave you alone. He would come back to you, he could feel it in his bones. Whatever other fears he held, he couldn’t let you be another unwalked path, another what if in his life. Another joy taken from him. You wouldn’t lose each other, he would make sure of it. 

You would be different. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” he told you, and he could see you fight tooth and nail for even the tiniest of smiles to form. And when he still saw doubt in your eyes, he leaned in further. You always were someone who preferred action to words, anyway. 

The kiss didn’t last as long as he’d like, but it, like his letter, was a start. A promise. 

You searched his eyes when you separated, and Leon felt such a beautiful pain in looking at you, because he knew now what you’d been through. He knew what you’d lost, he knew what you feared to lose. And he knew exactly why you asked your next question. 

“How can you believe that so easily?” 

Honestly, Leon didn’t know. He had expected only death and pain in his future when he’d been forced to join STRATCOM. He went to sleep every night fearing that he’d relive Raccoon City, and now he was a few weeks away from facing it down in his waking hours too. He had prepared himself for that. What he hadn’t prepared for was you. Your presence and the friendships he’d forged despite the odds . . . if he could find something good in this hell, then maybe not everything was lost. “Not saying it’s easy to believe,” he grinned, “but I do anyway.” 

You scoffed a laugh at that, shaking your head but not moving away. “I hope you’re right, then.” 

“So do I.” He had to be. 

Because the world owed you both that much. It owed you the chance to heal, even if only a little. It may not give you much of one, but . . . well, if it was a lifetime of dressing each other’s wounds, of putting each other back together . . . then maybe he could find it in him to face what was to come. 

Maybe he could have hope again. 

⧫⧫⧫

“You’re looking better.” 

You tried not to frown at the words, because, encouraging as they were, “better” wasn’t healed. It didn’t mean you were back in fighting shape. You still had several weeks before that was the case. Still, after the weeks of rest you’d already endured, it at least was starting to hurt less to breathe. That was something. Seeing the x-rays of your slowly healing ribs was something of a comfort too. To you, to Doc, and to Krauser, who stood with his arms crossed, leaning against a wall on the far side of the room. 

“Should be on track if you keep the rest up like you have been,” Doc told you, though you knew the report was for the Major as well. 

Krauser had been . . . well, he’d been quiet these last few weeks. Since Memorial Day, really. You’d seen him mostly at night when the two of you set up for the next morning’s lessons, but even then, there hadn’t been many words exchanged between the two of you. A few months ago, that wouldn’t have bothered you. Now, though . . . well, things were changing, weren’t they? 

“I’d still give it a while,” the Doc went on, “but you should be okay to move a bit more in two weeks, give or take.” Two weeks and then you could start training again fully. That meant four before Leon’s graduation . . . 

“Good,” Krauser cut in, his voice curt as it had been the few times he’d really spoken to you these last few days. “Then I want you with the new recruits in melee drills. No fighting, but you’re going to be giving notes. Watching their technique.” 

Your brows furrowed as you looked towards the Major, and you were hit with a feeling of deja vu. And a feeling of confusion, because when Krauser had pulled you in to spar with Leon’s old squad, he’d done it to get you more practice. Watching people fight wasn’t useless in developing skills, you knew, but so much of the extra help you’d given Leon had been because you could physically cross blades with him - him and the rest. If you couldn’t actually fight, though . . . “Not sure how much help I’ll be to you if I can’t demonstrate.” 

“Not me you’re going to be helping,” Krauser corrected, somehow sounding more displeased than he already had been recently. “Reed and the other instructors are taking over their combat drills for the time being.” 

And just like that, you were pissed off too. 

“What?” Your voice took on a tone of incredulity, your focus completely turning away from the Doc because the sheer notion of Krauser not being the main instructor-

The Major’s frown didn’t lessen, but he shook his head and clarified all the same. “Just for the new blood. Hellman and I have things to set up, so we needed to reallocate responsibilities.” He pursed his lips together, then his chest rose as he took a breath. “I need someone watching to make sure he’s not teaching them bullshit.” 

Because he didn’t trust Reed. 

You couldn’t blame Krauser for that. You sure as hell didn’t trust the agent either. You wouldn’t even agree to help that bastard in any way if it weren’t Krauser asking - if you didn’t know that he had his reasons. As it was, however quiet the Major had been with you these last few days, this set your mind at ease because if he didn’t trust Reed, this request proved that he did trust you. So, there was only one answer you could give. “I’ll do what I can.” 

Krauser nodded, his expression that had been so stormy as of late calming just a touch. A moment, that’s all it was, and then the Major pushed off from the wall, his expression resetting once more. “Good,” he said simply, and was about to show himself out when the door opened in front of him. 

Someone you didn’t know stepped in - a man about your age, his face drawn in an expression of pain and one hand wrapped around his wrist. One of the more recent recruits, you realized. His eyes widened though, as soon as he caught sight of Krauser standing in front of him. “Major! Sir! Sorry. I was told to have the Doc look at-” 

“Then what are you wasting time talking to me for?” Krauser deadpanned before stepping aside, making way for the young soldier to scurry past. 

He’d taken a bad fall from the obstacle course, he explained. It didn’t take long for the Doc to have a rudimentary diagnosis. “Probably a sprain,” he informed the soldier, then looked your way, finding you ready and waiting. “You know what to do?” 

“Ice it and wrap it,” you answered, already moving towards the door. 

Once there, Krauser stopped you with a raise of his pale brow. “Been playing medic, too?” He said it like he almost couldn’t believe it of you. A few months ago, you wouldn’t have, either. 

“You told me to make myself useful,” you shrugged, glad that you could pull off that small movement without being in agony, now. 

By the smile Krauser gave you, you could tell that he was glad too. “Well then get to it.” 

You surprised yourself by giving him a smile back. “Yes, sir.” 

He was gone by the time you returned, allowing you and the Doc to wrap the recruit’s wrist in peace. Your work was observed and approved of with a nod . . . and a surprise when evening fell. 

You’d never thought that half of a homemade sandwich would look so good. 

The Doc looked more than a little amused as he handed it to you, no doubt because of the surprise on your face. “Fair payment for fair work,” he told you. “But not a word of this to anyone. Can’t have people thinking I’m running a deli out of the med bay.” 

You nodded, taking the first homemade meal you’d had in . . . well, maybe in years, with an eagerness you hadn’t expected. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Doc.” 

You already had your fair share of secrets to keep, after all. What was one more? 

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A/N: Sorry for the delay! Took a little break from tumblr, but I'll be updating regularly again! Also, we're almost caught up to ao3 now! Anyone reading and enjoying this deserves a medal for putting up with how long this shit is XD But seriously, I so so appreciate anyone reading this story, I have loved writing it, I hope you all have loved reading it!