#hopefully my (young) female characters don't all look the same

[cry-ptidd]

"Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!"

Lucy Westenra 🦇🪦

[solecize]

  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (6)

remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light now, i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time  ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes. ten years of lies and love and crawling back to one another. once shy, budding first love that blossomed before the weight of fame, the cracks begin to surface amidst your respective rises to stardom and navigation of your twenties. either finding euphoria or the end of the world, there's never any in between in existence for you and jungkook. as you build each other up and break each other down in front of millions of eyes, there is a crossroads ahead with words of "marriage" and "military" looming in the air - all while ignoring the price of fame breathing down your necks. this is the story of love and the lessons learned from the man you made your religion.  and i wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people-pleaser who only wanted you to see her

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: jungkook picks up the pieces of the mess he made, as he looks back on his choices and the people he surrounded himself with. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. PLEASE DON'T EXPECT HAPPINESS, portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. hi welcome back everyone!! it's been a very long time since the last update and i just really wanted to push something out, so hopefully this doesn't seem super rushed because it was important for me to get over my writing slump:) ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next

every mornin' i glared with you with storms in my eyes how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

TOP HEADLINE TODAY: are bts' jungkook and s.iren's nova the new power couple of the entertainment industry? positive reception indicates rare acceptance of idol relationshipㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   may 2018

jungkook was still so young, but as he examined his appearance in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice the way age settled beneath his skin. one couldn’t tell by first glance, but his eyes were old and tired. it was difficult to remember the last time they lit up with a spark, rather than sitting half lidded and apathetic. his lips were fixed into a permanent frown when he was away from the cameras, despondent like worn out leather. nothing could cut through the fabric, especially not now. he was reminded of this, as his manager read out his schedule for the day and several stylists picked at his dark hair that fell just above his eyes now. his shoulders drooped further when he heard your name amongst the activities laid out for him.

“the red carpet begins at seven, your and y/n’s car will arrive at approximately seven twenty four - not too late, not too early that nobody will be there.”

this was the first public event that the two of you were scheduled to attend as a couple. of course, that was nerve wracking enough, but it didn’t help that you were still giving him the cold shoulder. he didn’t expect anything else and any blame would be misplaced, but it was worrying to look forward to feigning happiness for the cameras. he knew you like the back of his hand and you were a horrible liar. he knew every quirk at the corner of your lips when you smiled and the way a crease formed between your eyebrows when you grew frustrated. jungkook was one of the only people who noticed the way you bit the inside of your cheek when you got nervous and how you looked at people’s ears instead of their eyes when you got shy. 

once upon a time, he would say that it was because you were his. now, you weren’t and he was just some stranger who knew every inch of you with his eyes closed.

jungkook hated himself for what he did to you and what he hated even more was that the world continued to spin regardless. his members, some oblivious to jungkook’s betrayal and others simply just suspicious of his faithfulness to his girlfriend, continued treating their youngest member as usual. seokjin and jimin gave him the hardest time, as the former was genuinely the most disappointed in jungkook and gave him a week-long cold shoulder after yelling at him, while jimin had to bear witness to the dramatic confrontation at hotel azure. however, there was no choice but to simply condemn jungkook’s actions and move on - they were still a unit whose careers relied on each other. they were also brothers at the end of the day and disagreeing with one person wouldn’t break their bond. 

besides, it was clearly a sensitive topic for jungkook, despite the mass of guilt weighing his body down with every breath he took. no one heard from him for days following the dispatch article, presumably locked up in his apartment and drinking his consciousness away. everyone knew about his growing drinking problem, but were shocked to see the extent of it when they finally confronted him.

“i don’t think you should be the one crying and hiding,” muttered hoseok, who led the charge in recovering jungkook after everyone got fed up with him ghosting anyone who tried to reach him.

it was the eldest four of the group who broke into his home, just several hours prior to their flight to tokyo for a weekend-long event. this was after the first few days since the news broke and since anyone saw him in person. seokjin, although refusing to speak to jungkook, brought food for him, while namjoon and hoseok physically dragged him out of bed and yoongi forcibly went through his belongings to pack clothes on his behalf. 

“i’m sorry, i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” was all jungkook could make out and it wasn’t clear if he was referring to the fact that he wasn’t cooperating or the situation with you as a whole. it also wasn’t clear if his hoarse speech was due to being under the influence or from crying. 

yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose, watching his members push jungkook into his washroom to get himself decent. “this. . .this is pathetic,” he said, as there were no other words to describe the scene. 

at least namjoon managed a sympathetic expression on his features. “he keeps saying over and over again that he’s sorry.”

and that was all jungkook knew. that he was sorry. that he had never made such a mistake in his life. he also knew that he had no explanation or excuse, no matter how he rationalized his actions to himself in the past few months. jungkook couldn’t figure out how he even did such a thing, until yoongi stopped him in his tracks, just before the five of them departed jungkook’s apartment. 

jungkook nearly lost balance, as his head hung low as he walked and dragged his suitcase behind him. the others looked on from the hallway, upon noticing that yoongi paused in front of jungkook before he could close the front door behind him.

“your pockets. empty them, kook.”

yoongi knew before jungkook even realized that he brought it along. it was simply second nature and that was the problem. if it was even possible for further shame to illuminate in his dark eyes, jungkook made sure to cut his gaze away to avoid his older friend’s fiery one. without a word of protest, jungkook reached into the side of his jacket and revealed a flask, which he tossed on the floor behind him. 

that was two weeks ago. it wasn’t much to be proud of, but jungkook swore on sobriety since then. 

that meant it was also over two weeks since he saw you in person. even though it felt like forever, he knew it didn’t mean jack shit to you, who he knew hated him. the look in your eyes when you begged your company to not have anything to do with him, was something he could never forget. he wanted to scrub it off his skin until it was raw. the shame jungkook felt overwhelmed him to the point where he knew he wasn’t even worthy to feel guilt. he was embarrassed for the man he became. 

however, the world kept spinning. nobody stopped to care for his problems or his mistakes, especially with the career he chose. jungkook was bts’ jungkook and people were relying on him - his fans, his group members, his company. nobody cared and he didn’t expect anyone to. 

he didn’t care about the world continuing to spin in spite of him - his thoughts were consumed with how you were doing as the sun continued to set and rise amidst your suffering. jungkook couldn’t even bear to look you up on social media or the internet. sure, he would be reminded of the insane predicament that your companies just placed on the two of you, but more importantly, jungkook knew that he had no place checking up on you. he wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and weep, to patch up the deep wound he inflicted on you. when your companies made the publicity plan official, jungkook thought it was the heavens above granting him some sort of second chance at winning you back. 

yet, as he waited in a limousine, waiting for your arrival to drive over to this red carpet event, he was nervous. jungkook felt oxygen trapped in his throat, choking on the fear of facing you once more and it burned a deep hole in his body. he didn’t deserve this. you didn’t deserve this. 

over the past two weeks, you didn't know how else to deal with your emotions other than the only way you’d done so for years - by ignoring it and shoving it into the back of your mind. if anyone crossed paths with you, they would simply congratulate you on the successful relationship and ask to say hi to your new public boyfriend. you would plaster on a tight smile and thank the person through your teeth. 

the worst part was that no one even knew. even if they were present on that fateful night at hotel azure, any party attendee who saw the news could only assume that you were merely a spineless coward that crawled back to jungkook despite being publicly betrayed. you were defenseless and all of your walls were broken down.

it was an ironic thing, for the two of you to be so alone in the world and being pushed towards one another at the same time.

anyone could see that something was wrong, but it didn’t matter and no one dared to speak up. your makeup artist’s curious eyes were hard to miss, as she prompted for you to stop furrowing your eyebrows during the application of your foundation, but your pr manager’s cut eye from the corner of the dressing room silenced any questioning.

“how many times did you read it over?”

through gritted teeth, you responded, “seven.”

the stack of papers wedged between a flimsy plastic binder were just about as thick as your wrist and felt heavier that it actually was - likely because you were forced to carry it everywhere you went for the past few days. it was a collection of various documents relating to media and public relations, including the full-length version of your NDA with your company and bighit in relation to your coupling with jungkook. there was also a detailed guide to answering interview questions, how to stand next to one another, social media etiquette, and anything that could ever come up. hell, there was written practice on how to look at one another. 

ms. choi was the special pr manager assigned to all activities and releases concerning your public relationship. you had met her at the meeting with the board of directors at the bighit company building and she reminded you of a math teacher that you used to hate in school. domineering, always looking over your schedule, and sent shivers up and down your spine. she was not someone to be messed with and above all, she was extremely particular about how she wanted things done. anyone would be a fool to cross her - perfect for the role she was hired to do.

she required you to review the binder several times before all public appearances and it was exhausting. you also had an inkling that your beloved didn’t have the same treatment and your suspicions were confirmed when you crossed paths with him for the first time in weeks, bearing no papers or preparation of any kind in his hands.

instead, he was positioned at the farthest corner of the limousine when the door was opened for you, taking his own precautions against you.

jungkook’s stomach dropped when the vehicle came to a stop in front of the familiar sight of your company building. there was a ticking time bomb at the core of his ribs and it was an explosion to be set off as soon as he saw your shadowy figure approach through the tinted windows. even though he’d been doing everything in his power to brace himself, he still flinched when the door swung open.

his entire body turned cold with rage and guilt when his eyes fell on you. he imagined greek goddesses dripping in gold and glowing in divinity throughout the history of time, but they still wouldn’t hold a candle to you. it was difficult to pinpoint the source of such celestial haze - perhaps your appearance long muddled in self-hatred and anger since hotel azure and now a glistening memory being remembered before his very eyes. it was like learning a lost nostalgia, as if it had been more than mere weeks since laying eyes on you. the taste was bitter and he refused to deem himself worthy of such a thing, but if you picked at jungkook’s brain and held him against his will, it would be a whispered confession of falling in love all over again.

in a tint of twinkling champagne, you donned a floor length evening gown with a fitted, mermaid silhouette. the beaded sweetheart neckline hugged your torso and was accentuated with a sharper edge at your clavicle, before creating a bolder figure flaring out into an hourglass shape. your hair was slicked back into a wet look, as loose curls enhanced by waist-length extensions framed your face. the makeup chosen for the look was simple - a nude gloss, soft flush of pink blush and a sharp eyeliner wing. the star of the show was truly your dress, as just a pair of small gold drop earrings were your only accessory. 

thankfully, the dress wore you and not the other way around, as your misery was too loud to not be seen and so, the glamour of your attire created a successful camouflage. if anyone looked at you, they would only see your beauty and not your anguish - a heartbreaking curse on women who chased fame as their body of work. 

the curse almost snuck past jungkook, who initially was struck by your appearance, but then saw the way you bit the inside of your cheek. the way emptiness sunk behind your regard. the way you accidentally locked eyes with him and broke away immediately, as if letting a curse word slip or touching something too hot.

“ten minutes to arrival.” jungkook’s manager cut through the obvious tension in the air, thick as nectar.

you sat opposite of him, pretending to pick at your manicured nails after setting your binder next to you and in between his manager. the space was well-needed, as you could barely acknowledge any of his team in the limousine. 

jungkook replayed this moment prior to your arrival dozens of times in his head and in every version, he couldn’t even sputter out a polite greeting. he had no place. in this timeline, he, too, failed to say hello.

as the next few seconds progressed, those around you and jungkook were shifting in clear discomfort. jungkook wasn’t exactly prepared by any means, as his staff had barely been able to get him to respond with something more than a grunt and nod to any attempted interaction throughout the day. meanwhile, your team was watching you like a hawk, policing you like a child with your every move. 

naturally, someone from your side - thinking that they uncovered the secret key - reached into a compartment and pulled out a pristine bottle of cristal. 

with the hopes of easing the tension-filled air, she looked between the two of you and mused, “first public appearance together. drinks anyone?”

you were reaching for a flute already, even before jungkook could wave off the champagne. he didn’t miss the way several individuals in the car, including his own manager, exchanged shocked expressions at his decline. jungkook never said no to a drink before an event and it wasn’t rare for him to already show up slightly inebriated in the first place. 

for the first time, you willingly looked up at him, also taken aback. before his eyes could blink back to yours, you were already staring out the window and sipping slowly on your champagne. if you allowed yourself to let your thoughts linger too long on jungkook’s rejection of alcohol, it would mean you cared. meanwhile, he assumed you’d already gone through all sorts of emotions, likely the entire seven stages of grief. maybe you finally came to accept that you no longer needed jungkook in your life.

however, there were precisely four moments that altered everything.

moment number one occurred precisely twenty three minutes after your reunion with jungkook. at this point, he’d used up the entire time on the way to the event trying to not appear like he was sulking. thankfully, your managers began explaining the agenda for the night and several, firm reminders of do’s and don’ts for the camera. the conversation filled up the heavy, dreadful space lingering between you two in the car. 

though there was an obvious attempt to not come off as harsh, given the circumstances of clear torment between you, jungkook knew that this night was crucial. the two of you really needed to sell being a couple or face consequences that he couldn’t even imagine. this was your career at the end of the day and its fragile state laid in his hands.

so, before you knew it, the short ride was up and jungkook was greeted by the blinding lights of photographers at every angle possible, even before the car door was fully open. he knew to step out first and structure the perfect gentleman image, as this photo was surely going to be on every social media platform, every homepage, every magazine. the weight of the world rested on his shoulders and the only thing he could do was stretch a pearly white smile across his face.

“jungkook! jungkook, over here!” several reporters called out, ready like a cannon to fire away all the juicy questions in their arsenal since the relationship announcement.

throughout the past two weeks, the youngest member of bts wasn’t all that concerned with the actual publicity of the relationship. he was far too deep into grief to even consider the emotional toll that this new aspect of his job was going to have. he knew that he’d have to spend a generous amount of time with you, which was where the source of his anguish and guilt came from, but he nearly forgot how awful it was dealing with media in general. jungkook should have known that it was only going to get worse in the role he was now forced to play, as your public beau.

“jungkook! how’s y/n?” one reporter kept repeating over and over, wildly waving with one hand to get his attention.

another yelled, “jungkook, how does it feel to be the most searched term with y/n for fifteen days straight?”

while the screams were loud upon jungkook’s appearance, a hushed anticipation floated in the air. some expected other bts members to appear behind him. the crowd couldn’t even dream of the presence of jungkook’s newly official girlfriend, but as soon as one golden heel hit the velvet carpet, the floor nearly rumbled at the volume of yells. 

this time, there was no choice but to hold a fixed gaze for longer than two seconds with one another, as your figure fully emerged from the limousine and met the blinding lights. the real job had begun and it was evident by the sudden smile mirrored on your face. it took jungkook aback, as he had been replaying your devastated expression at hotel azure over and over again for weeks. he was shackled to those memories of tears in your eyes - by the pool, in the elevator, at the bighit building.

“ready?” 

it took a second to process that you were actually talking to him, as he did a double take. you arched a single, perfect eyebrow at him, as if he just told you a funny joke. one thing you always kept up was the fact that you insisted you were the funnier one out of the two of you, often playing the dynamic of a straight man that refused to laugh. 

jungkook realized what you were doing - already portraying a different character for the cameras and it was one of a loving girlfriend that really wasn’t his. despite the heaviness in his chest, he had no choice but to play along, too.

he held out his arm for you and you gladly grasped it, looping your own through. although fans and reporters alike were still screaming at the top of their lungs, the touch of your hand on his arm nearly hurled jungkook back and to the ground. he forgot what it was like, to have your touch and to see your smile. moment one made him forget who he was and where he was, as if he was just yours once again. 

this single, seemingly mundane, snapshot of the night was immortalized within jungkook’s mind. it was a second that transported him back in time, almost mockingly. he decided right then and there that he would be chasing these moments for as long as he could.

there was a certain fear that settled in jungkook’s skin, wondering if he would forever have to deal with your silence behind the scenes or suffering through forced touches in front of the cameras. 

over time, it got better. when forced together in spaces like these, he was still too concerned with walking on eggshells around you to even try anything with you. he was too ashamed to talk to you, to laugh with you. there was always a safe distance between the two of you and jungkook made it a point to be as professional as possible.

the worst part was that he couldn’t read you at all. despite the fact that the two of you knew each other since you were practically kids meant nothing when the only face you wore was that of a stone cold expression. it drove jungkook crazy, especially when you so obviously feigned excitement or love when your job required you to. he watched puppet strings dictate every slight change of expression on your face and it felt like rocks in his stomach. 

this safe distance was easy to maintain when watchful eyes of staff members lingered at every schedule - until they didn’t.

moment two, unlike moment one with you on the red carpet, was approached with fear and uncertainty. jungkook was ill-prepared this time around, having thought that he was looking forward to a rare friday night off when his phone and ms. choi demanded his presence across the city in less than twenty minutes. unlike the jungkook he knew in himself from even just a month prior, he wanted nothing to do with anything if it wasn’t involving laying down in his bed for the whole night.

deep down inside, he knew he wasn’t a party animal. it was nothing he yearned for, but instead, the idea of losing a bit of reality for even just a few hours. down some drinks here, take some pills there. that was the lifestyle he learned from his group of “friends.”

the “friends” was in quotations because there were a select few people in his life that openly declared themselves jungkook’s real friends - his group members, a handful of the 97 line, and others. they were in mostly opposition to the circle that jungkook ran in outside of the, which included bored chaebols, influencers, producers and club promoters with the world at the palm of their hand. they found jungkook to be a cute little idol that could be used for clout. 

namjoon often warned jungkook about the people he surrounded himself with, but it was hard when they stuck to him like glue. it was as if he had his own little minions that enabled jungkook to do whatever he felt, as they crossed paths in every major city in the world. jungkook had his boys in los angeles, his connections in tokyo, the rich heirs of singapore. being constantly on tour and away from home was painful in every sense of the word, but he was able to numb it with the people around him.

that was the beginning of the end when it came to hurting when away from you.

surprisingly, jungkook avoided groupies. it was an easy trap for anyone blinded by the shining lights of fame to get lost in that world - maybe it had to do with his members and their own reservations regarding such a thing. while the company and management were strict, anyone could get their way if they were smart enough about it. regardless, it simply wasn’t the band’s prerogative to hook up with fans. instead, jungkook crumbled under pressure through other means.

it was a friday night like tonight, but he was certainly not laying down in bed. bts was in kyoto and celebrating their head choreographer’s birthday at a dingy, hole in the wall nightclub. the walls reeked of nicotine and it was so small that he couldn’t make two steps in either direction without crashing into someone. jungkook made this very mistake and that’s how she ended up falling into his arms. from there, they laughed it off, drank too much, and ended up in his bed by the end of the night. 

the only reason why it even happened was because you uttered the words that jungkook thought he’d never hear: i hate you. the fight over the phone was about a multitude of things that was exacerbated by the distance placed between you two because of work and the fact that you were under the influence throughout the entire conversation, sipping on gin on the rocks as it progressed and became rowdy by the end of it as a result. you yelled the three words and hung up on jungkook, prompting him to also get completely wasted before attending the birthday party. he thought that was the end of it, as he heard the words that broke his heart in that moment. you were never one to pull your punches when it came to the harshness of your words, even calling him names in the past, but those three words were beyond anything else.

jungkook didn’t expect you to call him the morning after in tears, apologizing and wanting to make it right.

“dude, it’s not a big deal,” kelvin, one of jungkook’s buddies that was next in line to inherit some singaporean tech company, tried convincing him one night. 

at this point, it’d been a few weeks after the affair and he was starting to feel the guilt building. the tour was about to end, which meant coming home to his girlfriend. the feelings only began to haunt jungkook at night, when he stared up at the ceiling of whatever hotel he was staying at that night. they scraped at his insides with metal forks and jolted his senses like electricity when he dwelled too long about the betrayal he committed. 

“besides,” chimed in nina, another member of their inner circle that was sitting a little too close to jungkook. “you’ve been complaining about y/n for how long now?”

she was a tall and pretty model that looked like she was ready to pounce on the chance to be jungkook’s next hypothetical little secret. jungkook never looked at her like that, though. she’d been bordering on inappropriate closeness with him for nearing a year now and you had been warning him of this, which he ignored. then again, that was the way you were with every female that even breathed the same air as him.

admittedly, you were a bit possessive. for instance, there was no way in hell jungkook was allowed to have female friends while in a relationship with you. you had his location, he had yours - not because he was obsessive over it like you were, but because it only seemed fair. there were multiple instances of you picking fights with girls at parties or other social outings because they simply looked in jungkook’s direction. above all else, it was your way or the highway.

jungkook was a people pleaser and it was his fatal flaw that had an even weaker spot when it came to you. you were outgoing and some may call it flirtatious the way you cozied up to men and women. however, you were able to easily soothe your boyfriend with affectionate touches when he got riled up about it and that was that. it was certainly problematic that you were prone to interacting with others that would have upset yourself and that was one of the issues the two of you often fought about. 

“i don’t complain about her,” jungkook began to scoff, but nina rolled her eyes at his response.

“every time you talk about her, it just sounds like you listing off all the ways how she controls your life,” she said. “just keep doing you.”

a few of the others in the group murmured in agreement. he and his friends were enjoying dinner at some fancy french restaurant that jungkook wasn’t particularly fond of, but went along for the sake of everyone else. in front of the entire group, kelvin decided to spill the beans about jungkook’s affair and of course, they all encouraged it. he was a star, everyone had some sort of little secret on the side. it was a rite of passage amongst celebrities, even. meanwhile, like namjoon, you hated his new friends and warned jungkook that they were full of trouble. it was all the more reason for them to validate his actions and encourage him to continue his affair, maybe even pick up on a few more, when they saw you as a nuisance. 

kelvin continued, “like, come on. everyone does it. who cares if it keeps going?”

it made jungkook feel okay. besides, she was there and you were not. it wasn’t just convenient, it was too easy to create her into an outlet to get away from all his feelings and troubles that couldn’t be numbed with liquor and pills. he was able to forget about all the pressures of being an idol - the way his every move was being watched and how the entire world talked about him endlessly. he didn’t have to think so hard about his growing dependence on alcohol. he was able to forget how much he missed his family and the time he lost to be able to be a kid. jungkook was able to forget how much he missed you and how he wasn’t able to protect you from the harshness of real life - being away from each other, the stress of your respective careers, and everything in between. he knew it was wrong to keep going and there was no excuse, but he also knew he was a coward.

his cowardice is what found him in silence as he waited for you in front of your apartment complex tonight, as per the instructions given to him by mrs. choi, and the aforementioned moment two. these next three snapshots frozen in time would finally melt the ice that burned the deepest crevices of your heart: right now, the night in the hotel room during a snowstorm, and the day of your solo debut. 

[ooeygooeyghoul]

How to make a child model in Anam/Ktisis!

Disclaimer: I am NOT an expert in the use of these mods! I'm still very new and learning the ins and outs of them! This method worked for me, and maybe there are better ways to do it, but I'm just explaining how I created my baby Shiun. If you know of a better way, or have any tips and tricks, please feel free to comment or reblog with your advice for the sake of other gpose newbies! :D Link to Ktisis's download page | Link to Anam's download page Guide and Tips/Warnings below the cut! Hope this helps <3

Summon your partner in crime. So first off, I equipped my summoner job stone and summoned my trusty companion, Carbie.

2. Add your Carbie to your actors. Open up Anam and add your carbie to your list of actors, by clicking the plus sign at the top of the menu next to your character's name (remember that with Anam, you can only edit appearances OUTSIDE of gpose). Click on the little button labeled "Carbuncle" to add them.

3. Turn your Carbie into a person. With your Cabie selected, go to the "Import NPC" at the bottom right and pull up the list. Find an NPC that is the same race as your desired character and select it. In this example, I just chose the first au ra NPC I saw in the list. (You can also directly choose your desired race in the customize menu and start from scratch, but I just do it the Import way, lol) ⚠️As far as I've experienced, it's a 50/50 chance on whether or not you can alter the age of your character's actor directly. Every time I've tried this, it breaks the model and never works the way it should. For simplicity's sake, I've always just used my friend Carbie.

4. Change the age of your new actor. Now if you look at the top left of the Anam window, there's a series of dropdowns next to "Race."

What you want is the bottom right menu. Click it and you'll see "Old," "Normal," and "Young." Clicking "Young" will turn your carbie into the child version of the race it's currently disguised as!

5. Customize and boot up gpose! Now you can customize them to be the adorable mini version of your beloved WoL/OC!! The bones are compatible with Ktisis and should be as easy to manipulate and pose as adult models. If you use the Carbie method as I have in this explanation, you can simply hide your main model in the default Gpose menu for pictures.

Some things to keep in mind! ----

⚠️Not every race has a child model. The only races that have child models are:

au ra - male & female

hyur - male & female

elezen - male & female

miqo'te - female only

⚠️It is very likely that the models will break or look a little funky when you first spawn them. They have a very limited number of faces, and a limited number of available hairstyles. If you choose an option the game does not have, it will create some... interesting results. Most other customizations beyond skin color, hair color, and eye color will also likely not work (tail type/length, jaw type, etc.).

Left: invalid face selected --- Right: invalid hairstyle selected

Usually, faces 1 & 2 are the only viable options, and hairstyles 1-5 are okay. (Note: the pictures of the hairstyle icons will NOT match the hairstyle on the model.)

⚠️Clothing is also fairly limited! I'm not sure what dictates what child models can and cannot wear, so as far as I know, it's just a game of trial and error. You'll know immediately if an article of clothing isn't compatible lmaoo. Hats... rarely ever work...

✨Don't forget that you can save your model's data! When your model is customized to your liking, click "Export" at the bottom right of the menu to save the data to Anam. That way, you can load the appearance immediately without rebuilding it every time!

It's a mixed bag of what will and won't work on the model. My best advice is to experiment and play around with it! It took me a little bit to figure all of this out, so hopefully this silly little explanation helps out all the other new gposers out there :)

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out and ask! I'll do my best to help! I may edit this as I go to correct things and/or add onto it!

[olderthannetfic]

Okay first as a disclaimer... Yeah I guess my first disclaimer was unnecessary I'm just paranoid and stuff

But on to the follow up I might not have explained myself properly or given enough context or my question was incoherent? But for context while I do like plenty of canon ships, my favorite ships tend to be MxM ships of characters who don't have canon female love interests. My fandoms tend to be fujobait/card game anime plus video games. (Honestly I kind of feel like the guy you called 'some fuck' in your answer tbh lol (Hopefully I'm not as obnoxious and arrogant as them though)).

Anyway the stuff I was mostly thinking about was stuff like the Ike/Soren defenses and the Ash Ketchum shipping wars. (Although I only read that instead of participating) But from your answer and thinking over it I realized that I had actually seen a good amount of Hassel/Brassius hint finding etc but I didn't realize it was the kind of stuff I was thinking of (probably because they weren't being defensive or worried about homophobic attacks). So yeah the kind of stuff I was asking about does exist but I just didn't realize it.

Anyway on the anti stuff... I feared that people interested in this stuff disappeared because they became antis but fortunately it seems that's not true.

Anyway thank you for the answer and apologies for any inconveniences and vagueness in my asks.

--

Ahaha. Really, anon? Your whole preamble was pure canon het shipper from big US TV circa 2005 in its tone.

Now I'm even more confused about why on earth you think you and I have beef.

--

I think the basic answer to some of your questions may be that:

Yes, people who like all kinds of things exist.

But if you're looking for shippers of something very specific, 99% of media and ships never generate A Fandom™ in the Destiel/Sterek/Drarry/etc. sense. Canon, not canon, slash, het: doesn't matter, most are small.

Have a look at that other recent post about what percentage of AO3 fandoms are what size.

--

Guys from "fujobait" who don't have canon female love interests seem like... not actually canon ships?

This just seems like the same speculation and looking for confirmation that all the other m/m shippers are doing unless they're into MDZS or Jordan L. Hawk novels something.

I'm not clear on what sets what you're talking about apart from... just the average shipper on tumblr.

I don't know much about the social dynamics of Pokemon or Fire Emblem fandoms except for a vague sense that FE has the usual modern fandom full of young idiots harassing each other problems.

People do move on from particularly unpleasant fandoms... but... mostly, people just move on from everything and usually quite quickly.

The only fandoms people stay and stay and stay for are those that are generating a huge volume of new material, usually fan-made, often in the form of novel-length fic. And even then, it takes a specific fannish personality type to stick to one particular ship or fandom for ages. There are people still shipping those two dudes from The Professionals and nobody else, but they're a rare breed.

--

I still don't understand what you were asking in the first place.

Someone who knows these fandoms, explain????

[my-mt-heart]

A few people were wondering what I meant when I said Daryl’s arc in S1 could ruin Caryl’s arc in S2, so I thought I'd try to elaborate. It's probably the 5th time in the last 24 hours that I've jumped on my soapbox. I'm a little burnt out, but hopefully this makes it clear where I stand. As always, my inbox is always open <3

There are very specific qualities that drew Caryl fans to Daryl’s character from early on. There’s his devotion to Carol first and foremost, his vulnerability, and his unconventional masculinity, all of which go hand in hand. But like I said, S1 isn’t targeting Carylers. It isn’t trying to nurture those qualities that we love. There’s a reason why everybody keeps calling it a “reset.” Reset in this case is just another word for retcon.

Based on what we’ve seen so far from the marketing, S1 seems to be targeting young males whose viewpoint clashes with our own. So instead of getting the Daryl that feels natural to us, a loyal man yearning to get home to the one woman he’s always been in love with, we’re going to get an ambiguous OOC Daryl who knows he has “people” to get back to, but also finds the newbies interesting enough to feel conflicted about it. That's according to the synopsis anyway.

There's likely going to be shipbaiting, case in point the bathtub. That does not mean Daryl’s going to get together with or even have explicit feelings for a younger female character who happens to fit the target audience’s view of a love interest. I'm *very* confident that will not happen. It does mean, however, that the show will do what it can to make you *think* that Daryl could have feelings for someone else or get together with someone else.

How many times have they tried to turn Daryl into TWD’s most eligible bachelor? How much did it erase his nuances? How much did it aggravate us? And the big question is, why are we being asked to pay for more of that same bullshit we never wanted? Because it’ll eventually pay off? Okay, but how are we going to feel when Carol, who’s crossing oceans and taking lives, finally finds Daryl? Happy for her? Or sorry for her because Daryl didn’t go to the same lengths that she went to for him?

Those are my biggest concerns. 1) Daryl’s and Carol’s arcs being uneven and 2) waiting a long time for gratification that may be underwhelming again if AMC is still trying to placate everybody.

“Well, fuck, MT. That was extremely bleak and it sounds like we shouldn’t bother getting excited about Carol/Caryl.”

I am not saying we shouldn’t get excited. After an entire year of misery and uncertainty, we know Carol is coming back. She’s going to ride Daryl’s bike, she’s going to rescue him, she’s going to wear a ring that looks like the mysterious one she wore in 11x15, she’s going to walk a bridge with Daryl that’s reminiscent of Consumed. That’s all stuff to get *SUPER* excited about. Unlike S1, S2 *IS* targeting Carylers. I just don't want anything to take the wind out of our sails before we even get there.

So I think it's important to keep urging AMC to show us that #DarylNeedsCarol on the deepest of levels. Show us that this is going to be *their* show, not just because Daryl and Carol are both going to be in it, but because it’s going to continue their shared journey (a title that encompasses both their characters would be an effective strategy, I’m just saying). We still have a long wait. We still have time to change our minds.

[mofffun]

While it looks like a big reveal, ep14 is just but a teaser to the "Past" arc. Rita said the royals including themselves, are like Himeno, that they all became kings in an impossible situation after God's Fury.

他の王たちも　私も似たようなものだ

誰もが無理にでも王になるしかなかった

I'm surprised enough Rita would suddenly talk about themselves even if it's just a plot tease and it works in context to convince Jeremy, but does their statment include Racles too? I hadn't expected all of them to suceed around the same time, but if God's Fury wiped out all of the previous rulers, that would explain why the current generation of kings is so young.

In ep13, God's Fury left N'kosopa in a state where a boy from the slums had to rebuilt it from trash. I wonder if it went so far as to wipe out the pre-existing royal family, the one that conformed with Shugoddom's expliotation that Yanma so despise. I admit I hadn't thought about if N'kosopa has been a yankee country for all 2000 years, but it would make more sense if some event left the state in vaccum that later revolutionized the political landscape. This would reinforce Yanma's rejection to the title of 'King'. In my mind he became their leader gradually.

As far as everyone concerns, God's Fury is a natural disaster. Maybe next week will tell us more about how it affected Toufu - the land of agriculture. I'm still sticking with my theory that Toufu was hit so bad during God's Fury that they exchange Suzume for aid from Shugoddom. The question is now how personally are Racles and Kaguragi involved in this exhange, or if it was a deal made by the previous rulers. If the script went with what everyone guessed and had females be the only eligible heirs, it could've been Racles who decide to deny Toufu their Queen after their parents died?

For Gokkan I think my "Rita Morfonia rival sucessors" theory is back in the game?? If Rita suceeded prematurely, I can still go by that the two of them were both candidates and had apprentice days together?! φ(゜▽゜*)♪ (basically i need Rita in that aide uniform in some way). That would also explain why they already have a suceessor chosen albeit this young themselves and one that's but similar in age (character-wise).

I'm lowkey glad Rita's one step out of focus this time which means there would be MORE Rita-focus episodes later. Hopefully two, one with the previous ruler (+ odd eye) and one with their love for Moffun.

I'm not very confident the Jeremie arc would conclude neatly on 15 but I don't see any reason it wouldn't. Jeremy got his individual interactions with the core 5, Gira in 11, Rita in 12 & 14, Yanma in 13, Himeno in 14 and looks that way, Kaguragi in 15. If you consider 1-10 a big arc then it's acceptable the plot threads from 15 would linger over as well. I'm really looking forward to how Jeremy's cryptic nature would challenge the deceptive Racles.

[summersfirstsnow]

June Reads 2023

A Novel Disguise by Samantha Larson aka Local Spinster Has to Do Everything Around Here. This is the reading experience:

MC: is this a romance me: MAAM YOU BURIED YOUR BROTHER'S CORPSE IN THE BACK GARDEN THREE DAYS AGO MC: okay well I have to prepare this random girl's dead body for viewing, a job that is for some reason mine MC: * physically relocates the dead girl's jaw * MC: okay back to what I was saying about this being a romance! me: the fact that you are capable of contemplating romance in this murder mystery is amazing

Untethered Sky by Fonda Lee: if you watched How to Train Your Dragon and thought "okay but what if the dragons WERE incapable of loving you and would leave you for dead in a heartbeat and might try to eat you, wouldn't that be great" then good news! This is the book for you. I did enjoy this one, it's a very quick read (or listen, in my case). This is about giant birds (love it) and hunting monsters!

Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall: This was. Almost painfully tedious. If you're writing a story where both the romantic leads are women, then you NEED to conceptualize women as active characters who are allowed to be both funny and stupid or your sapphic romance will be so so extremely boring. If your female characters are all reactive rather than active, they will never be able to play off each other, because nobody in that relationship will actually provide the initial motion. And an object at rest will remain. At rest. Until we all die of boredom. Also the narrator choice was genuinely baffling, in all honesty. Like. I don't know why the author went "you know what this novel needed? Someone to constantly comment on how stupid all the events are, in case the reader hasn't noticed." Don't worry, Alexis Hall. I noticed. I noticed.

The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2021 edited by John Joseph Abrams & Veronica Roth: These were varying levels of enjoyable for me, but overall, it was a good collection! And This is How to Stay Alive by Shingai Njeri Kagunda made me cry from older sibling feels, among other things. Beyond the Dragon's Gate by Yoon Ha Lee was also a stand-out for me.

To Shape a Dragon's Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose: only YA novel on the list for this month, I think! I enjoyed this one a lot. Anequs is definitely a main character who pulls her own story along, and I'm looking forward to picking up the sequel when it comes out. I liked the organic integration of different ways of knowing very much! It does have some of the usual debut novel issues, but hopefully Blackgoose's writing will grow and those will get worked out at the series goes on.

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty: this book rollicked along well! The notorious pirate captain Amina Al-Sirafi is retired, and for a good reason, but finds herself pulled back into the world of supernatural creatures, mythical treasures, and high seas misadventure when she is asked ("asked" in heavy quotations) to track down a noble family's missing daughter. This book takes place in the same extended universe as the Daevabad trilogy, but doesn't require having read it.

Bad Cree by Jessica Johns: when Mackenzie, a young Cree woman living in Vancouver, begins bringing things back from her nightmares, she finds herself drawn back home to the rest of her family, to try to figure things out, especially as the dreams get more dangerous. This is a horror story about monsters, but also a horror story about grief and colonialism. It's about a family of magical dreamers, but also about the ties of family and the strength of those ties, no matter how tattered, in the face of generations of horror. This one is an atmospheric story that I found somewhat disorienting as a read, and has a couple debut quirks, but overall was a good reading experience. It got spooky and I just went "the only way out is through" and finished it at 1 AM.

Spectred Isle by KJ Charles: I feel like Saul just goes "well this might as well happen" about basically everything in his life at this point, which definitely brought a certain energy to the story. This one isn't my favourite KJ Charles book (not that I've read all of them but still), despite the fact that usually fantasy is me preferred genre.

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant: This is a reread for me, and still the Seanan Mcguire/Mira Grant book that appeals most to me. Still really enjoy the merfolk in this! Deep-sea dwelling and very toothy. Jurassic Park vibes overall. The dolphin sideplot still feels misplaced with the rest of the story, doesn't really accomplish much of anything, which made it a frustrating digression in an otherwise tightly plotted novel.

[the-hopefull-pessimist]

I finished my 1st playthrough of Veilguard and I definitely have thoughts. If you are still actively avoiding spoilers until you finish your game, do not interact. While there are no plot spoilers, I don't want anything in the post to potentially spoil something for you.

The Good:

I really enjoyed the game overall. Will definitely be playing multiple times, hopefully finding something new the next couple times. (I wasn't anywhere close to 100% this time around haha)

I love that I can make Rook and absolute purple menace, and I also love that sometimes the companions will call you out on it if it bothers them. I used the not-american voice option for my female Rook, and the voice actor was absolutely delightful. They really nailed the inflection and timing for me.

I really like the return to a smaller world as compared to Inquisition, but it still feels large and expansive without being overwhelming. And no bears! Or spiders!

The Lighthouse is so much fun to watch change as your relationship with your companions grows. Harding's little greenhouse going from boarded up and empty to a literal overflowing garden is soooo cool. And Lucanis going from an empty pantry to a less empty pantry with a lamp. 💀 Man is a whole ass mood, I get it.

I literally cried. Like had to put the controller down and take some time, cried. (You know the part) And here's the thing, I LOVE when media makes me cry. I LOVE having my feelings put through a pasta sheeter. I LOVE having my feelings hurt in the only way Bioware can. And when I look back on the entirety of the game now, I just.....wow. Very very good.

I surprisingly (for me) really enjoyed the combat. It kept me really invested in what was happening, and instead of just bringing the same few people I always do- I had to actually think about who combos with who and what not- which I actually found fun. Though I do wish there was a feature when choosing your party that showed which abilities or who certain companions comboed best with depending on their abilities.

I really like how the inventory works. I did fight with the menu from time to time, but that's a user error and just getting used to what buttons do what.

I could probably write a dissertation on the character creator, but enough people have already. It's seriously the most comprehensive character creator I've ever used to date. I think there's a few things that could be tweaked, but not enough to make me feel it's not amazing.

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE that you can choose an armor/weapon, but then set the appearance to something different. It seems silly to some, I'm sure, but I have had moments I've wanted to use a lower tier item because I absolutely hated the way the higher tier item looked. (I'm a visual person...not sorry)

BEING ABLE TO PAUSE CUTSCENES... as someone with a young kid, this is an absolute dream come true.

I love the campy dialogue. I love being a shithead to Solas. Some of it got a little cringe- but keeping within the dragon age charm we all know and love.

Auto saves at decision points is soooooo cool. Gone are the days of save scumming (to a degree). I love it so so much.

The Meh:

Sometimes the pacing gets a little weird, but that's kind of inevitable when you're playing a game with lots of little side quests like Dragon Age games usually have. I know a lot of people who played Inquisition didn't like the power system, but I found it really nice for getting a ton of side quests done and a large chunk of exploring out of the way.

Patch 1 dropped about halfway through my playthrough, but I did hit some weird respawn and mission bugs. I didn't go back to see if the patch had taken care of it or not, so we'll find out next playthrough. But I adored the new chest in the Lighthouse, and the nod to Mass Effect...that was so cute.

I know I just praised the character creator, but a few things: it does take a certain level of skill, and...if you lack skill...patience. I don't like the triangle sliders as much as I thought I would, but again...skill and patience. I know the more I practice with it, the better I'll get and the more I'll enjoy it. Also, in the character creator, I literally could not see the glitter anywhere, even when I turned the intensity up to 100% and made the glitter an obnoxious color. That could be something on my end, but I ended up always just using none and moving on.

For the amount of hair options they gave us, I still really struggled to find one I wanted. There are so many hairstyles where it's just a different length of the previous option, but of course not the one I wanted. (Also, a long- like chest length version of Antoine's hair would be so pretty... come on, bioware)

The Cons:

I need more companion moments. I need more romance scenes. I romanced Davrin for my first playthrough, and he's charming, he's flirty, but where's the spice? A huge selling point they gave us was how impactful and significant the connects we'd build with our team were, how deep the romances were, and how steamy and spicy the romances were. I'm not expecting (nor do I want) a full blown bedroom scene, but like...Davrin gave me half a shoulder rub and magically took my clothes off. Give me more buildup, more tension...something. I feel like they were so much more focused on the connections between the companions that the connection with the player fell to the wayside. The "dates" felt like filler, and the whole thing kind of felt like an afterthought. Seriously, bioware, if you need help writing romances, look to the fanfic community...we're going to be working overtime to satisfy a lot of missing content.

The lack of an epilogue other than the "where are they now" right before the credits is a HUGE bummer.

There are other thoughts, but they take a level of nuance to discuss that I don't think can be accomplished in this particular setting.

Overall, my opinions are overwhelmingly positive, and I'll definitely be doing a bunch of playthroughs. The game was so so enjoyable and I had a great time. I know the community will fill in the romance blanks with all the amazing art and fics. I'll also be writing up a storm...even in just the tiny bit of content I got I've fallen so hard for these characters.

Anyway, on to my next playthrough!!

[hobipaint]

Graffiti and Chalk- two

summary: You thought you knew him. You thought him gone. Kim Taehyung was part of you that you had carefully suppressed, keeping his memories to one box near the wall of your mind. That was your fault, though - empty walls demand for art. And who other than your own neighbourhood vandal?

↳ pairing: ex police student turned vandal! taehyung x officer! female reader

↳ genres: angst, fluff

↳ word count: 9.6K

↳ disclaimers: pg15!, vandalism, police officers, criminal past and heavy discussion of it, mentions of character deaths.

one | two

a/n: FINALLY AFTER A MONTH IT'S HERE! This took me really long to write but I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out : it's my longest work yet, and I feel like it would be among my best as well hehe. a massive thank you to @kookiestarlight because i swear i completed this in the first place because of tasha, @swcetnight who pointed out exactly where I need to elaborate stuff and places in which I was loosing parts of the plot because did I forget the whole storyline while writing this 🤡, @vaekth because this bby is absolutely amazing. she's supported me throughout the process of writing this, thank you so much!! thank you to @taecup-fics for beta reading this at the last minute and pointing out a bunch of grammatical errors because otherwise this would be a mess to read 😭 to everyone who has waited - I'm so sorry that it came this late, I suddenly had a bunch of exams that were announced and had to focus on those. Hopefully this lives up to your expectations!! Enjoy reading :)

Morning often dawns with a feeling of hope. With wistful sights of sunrise. Flowers open up to the golden haze that thaws the frost of the night. Birds roam the skies that had been but mysterious domains in the dark. People wake up with groans about the impending day, hopeful for it to end soon. You hoped for your mornings to always be similar to this- some constants were needed in places where you had cases as bewildering as missing pumpkin plushies piling up in your office. 

Your morning today, though, was much different. Much to your annoyance. 

You held the coffee you had brewed for yourself - another espresso, the universe knows you needed it - and handed one to Taehyung just as the cuckoo perching on the clock shrilly announced that it was eight in the morning. 

"Do you still have no answers for me, Y/N?" Taehyung looked at you. His eyes were sullen - no signs of the cheekiness that had peeked at you last night. Scattered rays fell across his body, highlighting the sunken cheeks, brooding eyes and tight smiles you could now see better in the daylight. 

You sighed- probably for the millionth time this night. "I do not understand your question, Taehyung." 

"You remember it. I've asked you thrice since I saw you again, Y/N. Do you not remember anymore? Do you not care for me? Was our idea of us nothing for you?" He looked at you with a myriad of emotions written all over his face- you looked away, not wanting to see them. 

Sighing, you gathered your thoughts the best you could. "Like I said, Taehyung." You looked at him- looking at the person you once fell in love with. The feeling you felt today, though, was much different. There was a feeling of running towards him, taking him in your arms and remembering who he was to you all over again, but it was overwhelmed by the confusion you felt - should you prioritize a past that wanted answers, or a future that was unsure? For now, you chose none pushing the time to make that decision further ahead. "We were an 'us' for only a few hours. Until you stood me up."

He rolled his eyes."That wasn't intentional, Y/N." 

"And how was I supposed to know that, Taehyung? I thought it was, since you had never told me anything beforehand."

Taehyung's eyebrows bunched together, as if coming to hear the stories that his eyes longed to tell- stories of events that you had never seen and never known. "Would you not hear me out, even once? For the sake of our old love?"

You bristled. "What love, Taehyung?" You got up to stretch your legs out, looking at the patchwork blanket that was stuffed in the corner. You had taken that for your first date with Taehyung, planning to cuddle with him and watch the stars - a date that never happened. "What love? A love where you don't speak to me for weeks, and then vanish for some crime? We were young then, and I got hurt then as it is. There's no need to go over this right now." 

"That was not my fault, Y/N. You know that." Taehyung seemingly sunk back into his chair, eyes downcast. "I had said I loved you. Before I ever went out with you." 

"Like that matters,” you scoffed, “what's the point in reminiscing promises from an old love?"

"At least, hear me out?" He looked up at you with hope sprinkled in the abyss of his eyes. "I don't want you to forget me."

You turned back to your chair, tearing your eyes away from the blanket that was now a pale blue in the sunlight - a few shades lighter than the cerulean colour it would be in the afternoon. "Not now, Taehyung." 

Taehyung sighed, looking at the floor, tension exhaled into the room. He sat silently for a few seconds, the ticking clock announcing each moment clearly to you. "That's fair. It's just.." He looked back at you. "I'm used to thinking of you as the person I loved." He nervously let his eyes pan around the windows, gazing at the sunshine that streamed through the window, before turning back towards your gaze. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I'm just really grateful for your presence-" 

"Taehyung." You sharply interrupted him. "Two years ago, when your case was reopened for investigation. Who did that?" 

"They told me that it was a well wisher in the neighbourhood. Another jailor said it was for good behaviour." He shrugged. 

You scoffed aloud, more loudly than you would have liked him to hear. 

He frowned, lips drawn in a tight line in annoyance. "Don't believe me? I'll have you know, Y/N, I was among the most well behaved at prison. Absolutely no tantrums. I even ate the salt-less, disgusting food they'd give there. No crying. Nothing. I can show you later on if you want, I think I have a report stuffed somewhere here," He got up, shuffled towards his bag and checked the last zip, hunting for a report you had never heard of. 

"It was me." 

Taehyung whirled around to face you, unruly hair swinging like the seats of a carousel at a carnival, and raised an eyebrow. "What were you?" 

"I was the one who insisted on opening the case for reinvestigation, the case of your stepfather's assault. Went around collecting evidence, searching for people who knew about your family better, getting their voices recorded, finding about the whole deal to frame you and stuff. Nearly got fired." You shrugged, sipping your espresso and wincing- too bitter. "You're welcome, by the way. The coffee is getting cold." 

"I don't care about the coffee." He moved the cup aside - nearly spilling the liquid, roughly settling back into the seat he had been occupying for the last few hours. "You were the one who asked for re-opening the case?" 

"Just said that." 

He slumped back in his seat, and your eyes took in how he spread himself out on the chair, tiredness lacing his figure. "I didn't know that." 

"Now you do." You said, sipping your coffee and watching Taehyung do the same. 

Taehyung stared blankly at you, and you couldn't fathom what was swirling in those ebony orbs of his. "Why did you do that, Y/N?"

"Honestly," you smile softly at him, "I was expecting a thank you."

"You should have expected questions, Y/N. Why did you help me?" Taehyung's blank expression made way for a confused one, eyebrows furrowing and lips pouting. 

"I did what I had to do as a-" You paused here, unsure of what to say. "As a friend, Taehyung, nothing more. I knew you were innocent-"

"How were you so assured?" He pressed on."I could be a complete 180 from the man I met you as. I could be fake. I could be an impostor. I could-"

"You could do a bunch of things, Taehyung." You stared him straight in the eye, trying to keep your emotions at bay. "But you could never tell a lie." 

Taehyung scoffed. "You sound like one of the wishy-washy pick-me kind of girls in the movie. No, I don't lie, but I could." 

You sighed. As much as you cared for Taehyung, you had never really cared for his argumentative attitude. "I went with the assumption that you were the same person I knew, Taehyung. The one whom I respected and trusted. I acted on that feeling." 

"That wasn't trust, Y/N. It was naivety. You were naive to believe me." Taehyung paused, uncertainty lining his forehead as he spoke. "You shouldn't have trusted me." 

You rolled your eyes- you couldn't understand why he was so desperate to make sure that you remained aloof from him. What had you done to be treated like that? What had he done to force everyone away from him? 

You tried to play off his remaining doubts and frustrations as insecurities he developed while in jail, and moved on."Alright then, you impostor. I was naive to trust you. And even more naive to believe you. Happy? Now shush. I don't want to talk about this." You tried to clear your mind of any doubts you had about Taehyung, but his behaviour, the way he interacted with you - it couldn't help but increase the worry and confusion in your mind.

Taehyung leaned forward to look you in the eye before smiling softly at you - you couldn't understand why. You were going to give him a criminal record, maybe arrest him. You were potentially ruining his life again, and he smiled at you. "If you say so, officer." Taehyung said, settling into the chair - leaving your mind reeling with questions you weren't sure you wanted the answers to. 

You opened the laptop again, wearily. "Let's get back to the questions; the sooner we finish this, the better. Where did you source the paint from?" 

"You mean the graffiti? And chalk?" You nodded. Taehyung sighed."Terminology, Officer, terminology. Make no errors." He raised a finger to wave at you, as if to say no. You rolled your eyes -it seemed that you were the only one concerned about what would happen to him after this, because Taehyung quite clearly was not. "I bought it with the allowance money that was kept for me in the bank- as much as I hated that man, his cards proved to be useful."

You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "You didn't steal it." 

"No. Took it from my step-father's account. Technically, now mine. Apparently he left everything to his children, and I'm the only one alive that I know of. Maybe he had other children- I wouldn't doubt it for a moment if he had, but that doesn't change my right to his money either." 

"Any other members of your family who had been granted access to that account?" You asked, wanting to make sure that there were no loopholes - you didn't want a future possibility of Taehyung being entangled with the wrong side of the law again. 

He rolled his eyes, leaning further. "Curious little thing, aren't you? Like I'd told you last night, most of them are dead. Mom had died a few months before I was arrested - thanks to my stepfather being an alcoholic and taking everything out on her. Grandmother already had massive health issues - she passed away after two years of me being in jail - they had let me come out for her funeral."

"My siblings - a brother and sister, if you remember - were taken in by a distant relative, and the last time I spoke to them was three years ago. I'm not allowed to contact them because I might end up being a 'bad influence'," he air quoted the words, laughing mirthlessly. "Guess they won't be too delighted to see me again. You probably know about my stepfather - got drunk and passed out. Permanently. But yeah, that's all. I'm pretty much the sole benefactor from that account."

Hearing how nonchalantly he spoke about it, you were forced to maintain a strong face and be professional. You couldn't possibly think of even wanting to comfort him in any way. "So, you were absolutely not stealing."

"Nope. No. Not at all. Want any further repetitions?" 

"That won't be necessary," You said, having typed out the information - tracking his expenditures would also be necessary now, apparently. "Any expenditure you make shall be monitored, now. Be careful."

"Always have been." He chuckled, getting back to spinning the glass on the table. "You know me." 

You ignored him. "Your cards will be tracked, and any loose cash will be checked by us. If we feel that there's any room for suspicion, you will have reason to be monitored." 

An odd silence filled the room while you tapped away at your laptop, filling in more details about the incident. Taehyung would be having a criminal record again, you thought to yourself. It was the only thought that echoed in your mind. It made you feel uneasy in a way, but you swallowed your unease down. There's a promotion to focus on. 

"Taehyung, something has been bugging me since I caught you vandalising." You shifted a little bit, before deciding to spit out the question. "Why did you do it?" You leaned forwards on the table, elbows digging into the wood as you tried to grasp the answers from him. 

Taehyung looked you in the eyes, and then looked away. "I don't know."

"You don't know." You raised your eyebrows, leaning back incredulously. "Taehyung, that's not an answer." 

"I did it because I wanted to. It was fun. I'd see kids in the morning pointing at my graffiti work and they would like it. There would be people claiming it looked good. I felt acknowledged and I just-" He pleaded, unable to continue without pausing to recollect his calm. "I felt like doing it. After years of having questions raised at me for committing a crime I never did, I finally had people talking about the work I did. Even if it was just chalk drawings." 

You exhaled in confusion. The Taehyung you had known - he was never like this. Confident, assured, independent. That was what he seemed to you when you were younger. And now, to see him want to be validated by others who never even cared for him- it felt ridiculous to you. Why was his only way of feeling validated involving something against the law? "Okay, then." 

You went through the complaints that had been registered against him, hand resting against your forehead as you asked him the most commonly asked question. "Why the insignia 'V'?" 

"V for victory?" He made a 'V' sign with his fingers, "I liked to think that I won against the world by rebelling against its sense of black and white. I saw everyone talk about it, and I felt like the same people who had once pointed fingers at me, blaming me for something I hadn't done, were now pointing fingers at something I had done - I felt victorious. I didn't need to show myself and possibly want more than I had already let myself have - this was enough for me." 

You pulled your lips in a tight line, and hummed in response - there were two places that together had put in about twenty complaints, so you had to respond to all of them. You kept reminding yourself that neither did you have the space to feel sorry for him, nor did you have the power to say sorry to him. You simply kept your head turned to the screen, typing in answers to all the complaints. 

Taehyung leaned forward after a few seconds. "What punishment do you think I'll get, Officer?" 

"If the chief is feeling good, maybe you'll get community service, with a fine," You looked up at him. "Or maybe some time in jail." 

"How much time?"

"Maybe a month or two?" 

"Oh." Taehyung slumped back into his seat nonchalantly. "Cool then." 

How was he this calm? You thought to yourself. He might be going to jail. For a second time.

"Yup." You shut the laptop, finally, after hours of typing information and recording it. Sighing, you lifted the porcelain mug once again to absolutely drain it of coffee, your rather loud gulps echoing in the silence of your office. 

Taehyung tapped his fingers on the table- probably some old tune he had learnt before. You remembered that he played the saxophone - from nights of serenading tunes that he had played for you with his beloved instrument. "How long do you think the chief will take to reach here?" 

"A few hours, maybe? I'd expect him around ten, to be honest. Nevertheless, let me check." You quickly called the chief on your phone, hearing his ringtone play some old Korean trot song before it was picked up. 

"Hello, yes, yes, Y/N. I expected your call." A gravely, rather rough voice responded to you- like it hadn't been used for a few hours. "I shall be reaching the office around eleven. Keep Taehyung with you." 

"Yes sir," you said, keeping the phone on your table and turning to Taehyung.  "The chief said he'll be here by eleven." 

Taehyung nodded in acknowledgement. 

"It's nearly eight thirty now." You looked at the cuckoo clock again. "Would you like to freshen up?" 

"Where?" Taehyung asked, eyes widening. "Shouldn't I just be at the office?" 

"Yeah, you should. My place is right here- the back of this office is where I live, so you'll be fine." You look down at his clothes, grease, paint and metal shrapnel all over them. "Besides, you look like you need a change of clothes." 

Taehyung stepped into your house with an air of curiosity, to see how his once classmate was living. His head stooped low to enter through the small door you had, eyes widening in surprise when he found that the hall of your house was larger than he had anticipated. 

The house was quaint, a hall with an old couch which doubled as a bed when needed. There was a table in the middle of the room, too low to be a dining table and too high to be a center table. For coffee, maybe? There were maybe five or six magazines scattered haphazardly over it, covering nearly every inch- except for one corner, where Taehyung spotted a shining acrylic blue. 

You, however, spotted what page you had left a magazine open at. Squeaking, "I'm sorry!" you ran to shut the booklet close, afraid that Taehyung would spot your love for shirtless men. 

Picking up the magazines, you grinned sheepishly at him. "Just a moment! I'll be back, a bit of cleaning to be done, sit right here!" You patted the couch, trying to convince Taehyung. 

Taehyung turned away from the pictures he had been observing- was there one of you both? - and nodded, eyes widening in surprise as he saw how you scuttled away to hide the magazines. He looked around again, taking a feel of your house- it seemed like the old you. There was some patchwork embroidery you had left in a corner, atop what seemed to be a showpiece? Taehyung stepped closer to see it in detail, and was amazed at the way you had managed to drag the red thread over and over the pink fabric to make floral designs. It reminded him of the rose he had been trying to complete the previous night, and he grit his teeth. He shouldn't be thinking about that now. That shouldn't be what he does anymore. No more.

You came back, looking quizzically at him. "Take a seat, Taehyung! It's alright." 

"Uh, yeah." He shuffled over to the couch again. "Did you make that?" 

You looked in the direction his finger pointed to. "Yeah. Tried doing embroidery for stress release purposes." 

Taehyung grinned at you. "Stress release?" He asked, bemused. 

"Yup." You said while making sure that the magazines were well hidden. "The department I wanted to be in was forensics, you know?" Taehyung nodded, he had been privy to most of your discussions about the advances in forensic technology and analysis - even if he didn't understand anything, he knew your love for it. "Well, they didn't allow me. So the whole 'stress' thing began." You walked back to him, making air quotes as you emphasized on stress. "My mother suggested embroidery would take my mind off it. So, that incomplete piece you see there?" Taehyung nodded, concentrating on every word that left your mouth. "That started a few days ago." 

"It looks like it's complete, though- are you really good at it?" Taehyung looked at you again, turning back from the embroidery you were now rising to get. 

"Pretty much? It's easy once you get the hang of it." 

"Ah." Taehyung said, a dull silence settling into the room for a few moments as Taehyung looked around your room.  

"That picture." He pointed, and you turned your head around. The picture he was focusing on was on your mantelpiece, resting happily. The frame had butterflies stuck on its corners, two large and two small. The border was white, now off white, and had pink dots in certain places. It was a picture of fireworks- red, yellow and blue mixing together in a dull sky to breathe life into the picture. And right in the middle, surrounded by this liveliness, were you and Taehyung. Beaming. 

Taehyung turned to, finger still pointing at the picture. "That's our picture, right?" 

You hummed in affirmation. "That's us, freshman party. We had known each other for a few weeks at this time."

"And I had stopped someone from asking you out, right?" Taehyung reminisced. "That was fun." 

You snort. "You had punched him in the face when he asked for my name, Taehyung." 

Taehyung smiled. "I didn't want anyone to harm you, Y/N, and he seemed like he would harm you." He spread out his arms and grinned smugly at you. "In a way, I rescued you. That night." 

And so many other nights, you wanted to say. For all the time you had known Taehyung, he had been fiercely protective of you - for reasons he never truly told you. You didn't question it either, basking in the feeling of being wanted by someone. 

You cleared your throat, hoping to clear your mind as well. "You should go take a shower, Taehyung." Glancing at the clock, you noted the time and motioned towards the washroom. "It's nearly nine. Go take a shower, call for me if you need anything. I'll go get some clothes for you."

Taehyung nodded, rising up slowly to go in the direction you pointed. "Towels are inside," you shouted after him, and he yelled in response to say he understood. In some ways, too many ways, he felt like the Taehyung you once knew. 

You went to your room to pick out some clothes, opening your meager collection to salvage something that would fit Taehyung. Your eyes scanned over your uniforms, jumpsuits, jeans, t-shirts and finally landed on the hoodies- probably the largest collection in your wardrobe. Thankfully, you loved large, loose hoodies. You started pulling them out, holding each one up and imagining Taehyung's proportions in them. 

The red one, with blue paw prints. "Nah. Too tight." 

The black plain one. "That's mine, I'm not sharing that." 

The grey ones- nearly three. You skipped over all of them, not understanding how none of these oversized hoodies would seemingly fit Taehyung. He'd gotten humongous, broad shoulders and everything. 

You picked out a few more, trying to see whether it would be a fit. None worked. 

When you picked up the next one, you could already picture him wearing it. It was the hoodie you had taken from Taehyung during the first year you knew each other. You looked at its loose sleeves, stretchy from you tugging Taehyung behind you with it way back then. The green fabric of the hoodie was slightly pale in a certain spot - you had spilled soda all over him in a fit of anger.

During your forensic chemistry class,  the teacher didn't recognise their mistakes in the procedure (they used the wrong test for detecting the sample, and blamed it on you), and you were pretty miffed the whole day. Taehyung had bought sodas for the two of you, having planned to go stargazing later on. And you, in a terrible mood, flipped him off in a way that had the soda spilling over him. You cried, Taehyung laughed, but the hoodie was still stained. You took it with you later on to clean it - but the stubborn stain never left. You were agonized, Taehyung amused, but the hoodie- it was still stained. Taehyung had laughed it off, telling you to keep it with you for as long as you wanted- he could buy a dozen more hoodies to last him till then. 

When you left to head home that winter break, you had taken the hoodie with you. You had taken it on your date, crying on its sleeves when you were stood up. And when you came back, Taehyung was suddenly a criminal. 

You shook your head to remove the memories of that time, holding the hoodie in your hand and gently caressing its sleeves. So many memories were held in these threads that meshed together to form the fabric of your youth. Good or bad? You didn't want to dwell on that. 

"Y/N? Could I get the clothes now?" Taehyung called from the washroom. You picked up a extra large pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie, and passed it to him without really thinking- you'd done it before when he got drunk at college too, having him come over at your place, shower, change, and practically behave like a couple- at least, that's what you had thought of it then. 

Get it together, Y/N, why are you thinking about that? 

"Thanks!" he shouted again, grasping the clothes with his fingers and whisking them away to the confines of the washroom. 

You gripped at your hair and pinched your cheeks. You couldn't keep thinking about the old Taehyung. You didn't know if it was truly him anymore. 

"Uh, Y/N?" Taehyung stepped out of the washroom, the previously oversized shorts clinging to his thighs for dear life and the hoodie snugly fitting his figure. "I think it's a bit tight, but I'll make do." 

Your eyes widened in horror; Taehyung looked like he was moments away from bursting the shorts. "I'll get you new pants, wait a second. These ones don't fit." 

You turned back to your cupboard, looking for the loosest bottoms you could find. "I think the hoodie still fits though, right?" 

"Yeah." You heard Taehyung right over your shoulder, scaring you. 

"Jeez, when did you get this close to me?" You turned to face him, crossing your arms, looking at his hair which still had droplets sticking to its edges. 

"When did you get this far from me, Y/N?" His eyes bore into yours, sweetly intense eyes gazing at you like it was the first time he saw you. "What happened?" 

You shrugged, not wanting to answer it. You picked up a loose pair of denim jeans that you had found stuffed away at the back of your closet. Pushing it into his hands, you told him to go change. 

Apparently, your instructions fell on deaf ears. "What happened, Y/N? Answer me. Please."

You moved your gaze to his clothes, not wanting to focus on the thoughts that rushed back when you thought of him. What had happened? You moved your hands to your sides, resisting the need to hold him and know him all over again. "The hoodie looks good on you. Would you-" 

"So do our hands." He held yours, snugly fitting his palm- your calloused fingers against his calloused ones, heat burning in the sleeping embers of your palm. His eyes gazed at the joint fingertips almost reverently. "They fit well."

"Taehyung, now is not the time-" You begin, cut off by his frantic breathing.

"When is the time, Y/N? When will I get to live? When will I get to feel like a human? When will I be innocent?"

His hand caressed your palm, touching your forearm, your elbow, your shoulder, and your cheek -leaving a burning trail behind him everywhere he touched. You shivered. "Do you know how long I have wanted you, Y/N? Years. Seven years, now. I have loved you for years. I have wanted you for years. I did all sorts of things to remember you while in jail- kept asking for you, kept calling for you. I didn't want to forget you, Y/N. Not you. I couldn't forget you, no." 

He pressed your palm to his chest, and you could feel a dull thump echo through the clothes, reverberate in your palms. "That fire, Y/N. My passion in the promises I'd made to you. It never went anywhere. I always loved you. I always will. You can't make me leave again, not again. Please, no." 

He held your palm up to his cheeks, not regarding the tears that were streaking your cheeks and his. "You feel me, right? It's me. Taehyung. I am the one you trusted. I'm the same. Trust me again. Please." 

You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to slide down your cheeks, not wanting to pain Taehyung anymore. He held your forehead to his, pressing on the back of your head to meet his - upclose, you could see the redness that clouded the shine that his eyes would normally have. You couldn't hold back your tears anymore, nearly whimpering when you saw how broken he was- sirens swimming in the whirlpool of his eyes, singing songs of misery. "You know me, right? Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Kim Taehyung, police cadet. Your friend. Your classmate. You know me, right?" He asked, nose nearly brushing yours. "Do you know me?"He cried, eyes washing over the fire that ignited behind his pupils. You didn't see a vandal, or a criminal, or a friend. You saw a broken man. 

"Taehyung, oh, Tae," you cried, putting your hands on his shoulders, watching him slink down to the ground as his body trembled and shivered. You wrapped your arms close around his figure, unable to understand his pain but just wanting it to go away. 

You sat like that for a while, coaxing the tears and short whimpers out of him as he held onto your fingers, wanting to remember something he once had: you. 

"I always asked for you, you know that?" Taehyung shivered as he spoke, even if the chills of the weather outside barely seeped into your home. "I always loved you. I don't know why they kept me there for so long, Y/N. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know why I'm made to feel like this…" he trailed away, tears gathering at his chin as they endlessly flowed down his cheeks. 

You glanced a nervous eye at the clock, wanting to make sure that you get to the station- no matter what happens. The bubbling of water distracted you from the ticking of the clock, and you turned off the stove. Scouring your cabinets for a chamomile tea bag was hard, but you knew you needed it. Taehyung always seemed to calm down with tea - you had used it multiple times before. Times of which you have multiple memories. Times you wish to forget. 

Why did I ever love Taehyung? The question kept echoing in your mind as you leaned on top of the kitchen counter top. Things would have been so much simpler if simply looking at him wasn't so hard. His smile, his behaviour, his tears - it was all but a painful reminder of what you could have been if things had gone different. If only. 

You poured the hot water into the mug you had settled on the kitchen top, watching the water bloom into a serene shade of yellow as you dipped the tea bag into it repeatedly. You prepared one mug, then another, hearing the soft declarations Taehyung kept repeating while he was seated. 

All you had wanted to study was forensic science, and that was simply for one reason: you didn't want to interact with people. 

People are complicated, over emotional beings. and you couldn't help but feel helpless every time you had to encounter a suspect. You would constantly be told by your professors to see them as lawbreakers - but all you tried finding was signs of humanity in them. That even the most vicious killers had scope for reform. That's why you stuck to the subjects you wanted - you were good at finding signs of life, not squashing them. You consistently failed those classes, without any doubt. And today, it seemed like all those classes were laughing at you. 

"Here." You handed the mug to Taehyung, who muttered thanks. He rubbed his hands once or twice on the pants you told him to change into and took a sip from the warm tea. You resisted the urge to reach out and wipe the tears that lined his face, and try and wipe the scars of the past that had scarred him so badly - but you couldn't. You were a mere spectator in the game of his life. You couldn't possibly do anything other than hurt him more. 

"Thank you. For letting me express all of it. I could finally say everything that I wanted to before I was forbidden from speaking about it again." Taehyung tapped against the mug, fingernails resting on ceramic as the sun slowly headed westward. "I'm sorry that I've been such a burden to you, Y/N. I wonder if I can do anything to reduce the pain and confusion I put you through - I doubt I can." He looked at you carefully, though you couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Thank you." 

You let his words echo in the room, preoccupied with your thoughts. It hurt you to see him so broken, and you couldn't help but worry about him. 

"Taehyung, I-" You opened your mouth to respond, watching Taehyung pay attention to every move you made - only to be interrupted by your phone loudly ringing. 

"Sorry, this must be important." You got up to get your phone, watching Taehyung slump in his seat from the edge of your vision. 

"It's the chief," you announced, picking up the phone. 

He got straight to the point. "Come to the station, soon. Bring Taehyung with you." he told, his voice laced with a rather sharp edge- a tone that you had recognized in the years you had worked under him. Things were- most probably- not good. 

You responded with a simple "yes", mind dwelling on the impending result that Taehyung would get. You felt that it would be unlikely that he would be going to jail- at least, you hoped so.

Turning to Taehyung, you tried to hide the fear and shakiness that lined your voice. "Let's go." 

Taehyung sighed, playing with the mug as he rose up. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Good morning, Sir." You greeted the chief as he hurried into the small office, giving Taehyung a glance and then facing you. 

"Morning." He gruffly responded, turning to your laptop. "We found an eyewitness for the vandalism, so we are getting them for the interrogation as well." 

"Another interrogation? We've already done it, sir, and all the information is recorded here. I doubt it will be necessary-"

"Please, Y/N," He calmly said. "Leave the decision about it being necessary to me." 

You stepped back, subconsciously edging closer to Taehyung - a move noticed by the chief as well. 

"Y/N," he began, "I need to speak to you. In private. Step outside for a few moments, please." 

You nodded, briskly walking towards the doors and yanking them open. There was a warm gust of wind that blew across your face, and you turned to face the chief. 

"Y/N," the chief began, before pausing for a moment, "Officer Y/N. I'm going to need you to think clearly now." 

"Yes." You set your features as tightly as you could, not wanting to seem distracted in any way. 

"Do you have any type of bias in this case, perhaps due to your past relation with him?" he looked quizzically at you, as if trying to decipher an enigma scribbled onto your face. 

Your blood chilled, for some reason. Were you having any bias? "No, sir." 

The chief hummed - you couldn't make head or tail of his reaction. He kicked at a pebble before continuing. "From the recordings I heard the previous night in the office, and the way you let him come with you to freshen up a bit, one particular thing has struck me: you were trying to find reasons for Taehyung to be justified as a victim, weren't you?" 

You gulped before responding. "Yes, sir. I believe the culprit committed vandalism as a coping mechanism to get over the hurt caused over the years." 

The chief sighed heavily. "Well then," he said, "I suggest we continue with our investigation, and find a way to make sure the culprit in the matter is stable as well. We can't have repeated cases like these - we have a reputation to uphold for the police as well." 

You nodded stiffly. "Yes, sir." 

The chief sighed again, glancing at the street. "Our witness should be here soon." He turned to you again. "Funnily enough, she volunteered as a witness with CCTV backup to claim that Taehyung had vandalized her shop too. Apparently she heard you arrest him last night - so we have to hear her out." 

The chief turned again to the road, eyes narrowing in hopes of spotting the witness soon. "The investigator whom she contacted has said she is a reliable witness, but I'm going to need to verify her statement nonetheless." He turned back, heading into the office.

You stared at the road that the chief was looking at before - the direction from which the supposedly reliable eyewitness would come, before heading back inside. 

Taehyung was still slumped in his seat, fingers tracing drawings all over the pants you had given him. The chief was shuffling around behind the desk, pulling two spare chairs ahead - one for Taehyung, you presumed, and one for the eyewitness - whoever that would be. 

"Mr. Kim Taehyung," the chief began, "there has been an eyewitness who has offered their testimony - whether it is to defend you, or further establish evidence of you vandalizing public spaces, I'm not yet aware. We shall be interrogating them - and maybe you, as well, now." 

Taehyung rose up from the corner he had settled into, and shuffled into the seat the chief had set for him, wordlessly. 

The door opened to reveal an older lady, dressed in a purple shaded hanbok, hair delicately pulled back into a tight bun and eyes peering around the whole office in curiosity. She found the chief, walking closer to the desk where he was arranging the records. "I'm here as the eyewitness..?"She said, looking at both you and the chief. 

"Ah, yes. I presume you're Ms. Park?" The chief asked, pulling the chair out for her to settle into it. Under the light that shined across her face, you could make out the wrinkles that lined her skin and the greys in her hair - not that that was relevant to what would happen. 

"I saw him vandalize the outside of my store a few days ago," she earnestly began, pulling out pictures that she had taken of the design on her window.  "I'm a florist, you see. His designs are clearly inspired by that, aren't they?" She pushed the pictures in front of your vision, and you could see what she meant - the designs of orchids, hibiscus and asters stared back at you, intricately painted onto the glass windows of the florist's shop. 

She pulled out more pictures. "There's been similar instances all over the neighbourhood- the other florist had a rose, the school received drawings full of children's stories and fairy tales, and had their walls painted with similar stories. In fact, the restaurants around here even said that their menus were drawn onto the streets, right in front of their doorstep." 

The chief looked at the pictures carefully, with you peering at them as well, taking in the detail that Taehyung had while he worked while making each of his works- no, vandalising, you corrected yourself. He raised an eyebrow at the eyewitness, who seemed to shrink into her seat. "What does this bring forward as evidence for or against the culprit? We already know what the crime is, and its details. We just have to determine a punishment- either a hefty fine or jail. Do you have anything that can justify him getting exempted from either?"

Ms. Park looked at you and the chief before turning to Taehyung apologetically, placing a hand on his knee - as if consoling him. "I think that at the end of the day, all he was doing was beautifying the neighbourhood, wasn't he? And most of the residents here don't have a problem with it-" the chief looked at her incredulously- "so please, don't punish him or something. A lot of people appreciate his work in our neighborhood, you know?" 

"But we have been receiving complaints about him since the past few days," the chief said. "Why the sudden change in opinion?"

Ms. Park fidgeted with the hem of her hanbok for a few moments, shaking her head nervously. "Some of us shopkeepers were really bothered by it at first, yes, but we also had some customers come over to inquire about the artwork. It looked professional to them. So we came to an ultimatum : we will let this young man paint and draw for us, on our walls, as much as he wants - as long as it's pretty," she emphasized, one hand patting her chest, "we'll pay him to do it." 

You held back a sob as you saw Taehyung's eyes glimmer - a ray of hope shining in them.His knee bounced up and down- a habit you knew was something he had had since years - and he smiled softly when Ms. Park squeezed his hand. You felt like things were finally going to go well. The chief exhaled roughly before rubbing his forehead, glancing at Ms. Park, who smiled at him in the hope that he would understand her reasoning. 

"The law, honestly, doesn't care about intentions- I don't think I really understand why I should even let him go. Vandalism is a punishable offence, and the perpetrator has been aware of its consequences. Why the sudden feeling to save him?" The chief questioned, eyes steely and tough. 

Ms. Park hesitated for a few moments. "I believe he deserves a second chance." She pulled her chair ahead, the metal ends scraping against the tiles, and pleaded once again. "He was arrested for years for something he hadn't even done - and now, might face a few more months in the same place for simply being artistic. I don't think it deserves punishment."

"That's for the law to decide, not you, madam." The chief sternly said. "I suggest you leave such decisions to us."

The room remained tense and quiet for the next few moments, and your eyes were trained on Taehyung. You noticed the quiver in his hands, the way he shrunk into his chair - as if to hide away from whatever the upcoming decision would be. 

Ms. Park was the first to interrupt the loud silence. "Oh, come on. Let me just pay for the boy's bail." 

The clock chose that moment to loudly announce the next hour: was it eleven? Twelve? You weren't paying attention. You only saw the way Taehyung rose up from his seat - in happiness, you thought - with fists sticking to his sides. "No. I won't accept it." 

You felt the chief look with just as much disbelief as you did. Why was he so hellbent on being a perpetrator when he could be free? 

Ms. Park laughed. "No. I'm not listening to that whole self righteous thing that you probably have," she swatted the air with her hand, as if to push away any explanations Taehyung could give.

"Look, ma'am. I have the money to get a bail, or even pay the fine. I don't want you to pay for me and then hold it above my head like a massive favour you have done for me." Fire blazed in his eyes as he spoke up, rather indignantly. "I can take care of myself." 

"To hell with that attitude," Ms. Park said. "I decided to help you because I didn't want you to suffer once again because of misunderstandings." She pulled Taehyung back to sit on his chair, clasping his hand between her wrinkled ones. "You had to go through so much pain at such a young age - no one deserves that. I was a mere bystander at the time you were arrested, and I regretted it then. I still regret it now." 

She sighed before caressing the back of his hand lovingly, thumb gently pressing on the skin- as if to feel the pain those hands had to go through, and you thought you saw a hint of a tear on his cheeks. "So don't question me for 'saving' you, or something - what you did was perfectly fine for me. I love the way my street looks now, and so do the neighbours. All that really remained was the artist's identity- and now that I know it's you, I don't feel any sort of guilt in justifying what you did." 

You were right. Taehyung was crying. It wasn't silent tears that rained gently down his cheeks, it was a whole thunderstorm. You saw the chief turn away, from the corner of your vision, but you couldn't bring yourself to do the same. He was biting on his bottom lip to hold back any of the sobs or whimpers that came, head lowering to hide the tears. 

Ms. Park simply caressed his hand, over and over, till he calmed down enough to wipe his tears with his free hand. And when he raised his head up, you saw him like a new person. The wound up Taehyung you had met again a few hours ago was slowly vanishing - in his stead, there was a free Taehyung who smiled like the world's burden had been lifted off his shoulders. "Thank you," he murmured. 

The chief sighed again. "I still don't understand how it came to this." 

"Neither do I," Ms. Park laughed. "But it is what it is. We'll pay the fine."

"I'll do it," Taehyung started, only to be shushed by the elder lady. "I want to do it. Let me do it." She turned again to the chief, the bubbly happiness giving way to seriousness. "You can make sure he pays the fine, right? Withdraw the complaints for us too." 

The chief looked at you and nodded, and you got to work - carefully opening the laptop again and making sure that you transferred the report from 'investigation' to 'resolved', and that the complaint was withdrawn. 

The chief, meanwhile, made physical records of it, and informed Taehyung of the fine - which, despite his insistence, Ms. Park paid off, whipping out a cheque she had kept ready, somehow. You added the details to his resolved record as the chief dictated them to you, keeping them for future references - which you hoped would only be needed to prove his innocence in any situation. 

Nearly twenty minutes of details, questioning, and a written assurance from Taehyung that he would be liable to arrest if he continued illegal activities, it was done. Taehyung was free. 

The chief read over the details once again, thoroughly, eyes getting heavier and softer with every document he checked. Once it was all done, filed, and you had stacked the records back in the drawers they were placed in, the chief sagged into the chair, hands clutching the steel arms for support. 

"Thank God," he whispered, eyes closed. "You're fine now." He got up shakily, hands wiping at his eyes to erase any traces of the tears that had possibly leaked out. He walked around the table, reaching for Taehyung - as if beyond the lines of that desk, his duties as an officer stopped and those as a teacher resumed. "Don't you dare do that again, Taehyung. Never again." He held his student by the shoulder tightly, gripping him and shaking him a little - like a parent would scold a kid. "Live a good life, please." 

Taehyung nodded frantically, eyes still wide in disbelief as he ignored the grubby tear streaks on his face. "I will, sir." He had his hands placed politely in front of him, trembling fingers clutching onto the rough denim fabric of the old, loose jeans you had made him wear. 

"Live well," the chief repeated again, thumping Taehyung's shoulder once and then turning around to collect the documents he would need to take with him. He bowed to Ms. Park, who acknowledged him before something at a corner of the small office caught her eye, and turned sharply to you. "Officer Y/N," he began, and you tensed a little bit more. "There was an opening last night in the forensic science department that I got notice of," he said, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips when he saw how your demeanor brightened. "Reach the head office tomorrow in the morning at ten, and I'll give you the details. All the best." 

You hastily held back the sudden smile that threatened to split on your face, smartly saluting your senior before he turned around to leave the office. As he opened the door, you felt a burst of warmth all over your body - the heat of the sunshine rushing into the room. 

Ms. Park walked from her corner to Taehyung, taking his palm between hers and squeezing. "I'm happy that you're free now, Taehyung." She looked carefully at his face - sternness making way for soft concern, and said, "Live wisely. If you need money, or a job to get you started, come to my shop - it's the one you painted with orchids. You remember it, right?" 

Taehyung responded with a rather choked 'yes', nodding his head frantically. He placed his other, trembling hand upon the lady's hands, and solemnly thanked her. 

"That's not needed, I told you." She smiled, before patting his cheek. "You deserve to let yourself live, so use this chance well. Work hard." She turned her head to look through the window behind her, groaning a bit at the sight of the brightly burning sun. "I better leave now - it seems that I'll end up getting a sunburn the nearer to twelve it is." She turned back to Taehyung, smiling softly, and patting his cheek. "Turn up at the shop tomorrow morning, we'll figure something out." 

"Oh, and officer?" she faced you, pointing in the corner where she was standing a few moments before. "I think my grandson had left his plushie over here a few days ago - it's this one, right?" You followed where her hand was pointing, finding a pumpkin plushie left casually on top of a table. "Sungwoo told me he had lost it some time ago, so I just thought it was this one," she laughed awkwardly. 

"I think it is his, he had come yesterday to file a missing complaint for it too," you said, causing Ms. Park to laugh. "He really loves it, doesn't he?" 

"He's not slept well since it went missing. Anyways, I better take it with me, if that's all."

"Just a moment, ma'am," you stopped her hastily. "He'd left a note for the plushie too - I believe Peter?" 

The elderly woman laughed at her grandson's antics, taking the note you offered her and grinning as she read it. "Yes, yes, Peter. I'll take the note with me. Thank you so much for everything, officer."

Thank you, you wish to say - unable to understand how she volunteered to be an eyewitness and defend the one person you cared so much for. Maybe words wouldn't be enough for you to convey how grateful you were to her, so you simply bowed to the woman. 

She took Taehyung's hand again, gently pressing on the back of his hand. "Your mother used to help me out in the shop, you know." Taehyung nodded, and she smiled. "Your hands are like hers. Delicate, yet strong. You can craft beauty with this hand, Taehyung." She squeezed his hand, smiling. "Don't just let that beauty slip away from you." 

She patted his hand again, before turning to you and smiling, and heading out. The sunlight bounced off her gray hair to shine on Taehyung as you looked at him - even with a tired expression, he looked more alive than you had seen him in the last few hours. 

"I'm free," he said, saying it aloud and letting himself feel the sensation for a few moments. 

He turned to you, watching the way your eyes told him that you understood everything you wanted to tell him - even the things he himself didn't understand. "I'm free, Y/N," he repeated, carefully examining his wrists that were once bound with handcuffs - no. There were no restraints there. 

His eyes panned around the room. There was no investigator who questioned him about why he simply couldn't admit his crime. No one who made fun of him for seeking comfort in his art - even if it was illegal. "I'm really free," he murmured again.

Taehyung leaped towards you, pulling you close and holding you tight, as if unable to believe that you were there with him: and that he was here with you for as long as he wanted to be. You let your arms circle around his neck, one curling through the hair at his nape and pulling him further into your embrace, and the other spread out over his back - trying to remind yourself that yes, he was here, with you. 

"Thank you," you felt him murmur into your shoulder. 

"For what?"

"Just being here. With me." He sighed, further tightening the hands that rested around your waist. "After so many unfamiliar faces over the years, seeing yours feels like a reward of sorts for behaving well." 

You laughed at him, slapping his back light heartedly. "Don't talk like you did anything wrong all those years ago. It's not good." You let your hands pane across the expanse of his skin, feeling him cling on to you as you tried to calm him down. "I'm happy for you, Tae." 

He held you like that, for a few more moments - like you were slowly pulling him back into what could be his new normal life. Waking up every day in a room that doesn't have steel bars as a door. Not having to crash at the old house that had haunted him for years. Not having to hide his face in the fear that someone would taunt him for his past. Actually doing something that made him feel happy, confident, and alive. 

"I'm happy too," he murmured into your shoulder. You hummed as he looked beyond your frame to see the streets outside the window - seeing how they were illuminated in daylight. How animatedly people were talking about what their plans for the day were. A kid kept hopping on a chalk drawing of hopscotch he had drawn on the footpath, clutching onto a plushie that oddly seemed like a pumpkin. Someone walked around their stall, setting things up for the day. 

You pulled him away from your grip to look at him again - not wanting to forget any part of him in any way. "I still care for you as much as I did all those years ago, you know." You put your hands on his biceps, just as you used to do when you had to knock sense into your friend. "You better not hide anything from me now." 

"I have no intentions of," he grinned. "Thank you very much." 

You giggled, a feeling you hadn't felt in years fluttering around your stomach like butterflies. 

"About us," Taehyung began, holding your hands in his, "You know that I love you, right?" You felt yourself tense up, and probably Taehyung did too, as he squeezed your hands. "I'm not in any hurry. I want to take some time to understand myself and what I want to do before I think of anything with you. But when I'm settled, and I'm someone I can be proud of, I want to come back to you. Be with you forever." He let go of your hands to hold your cheeks, smiling as he saw your big eyes peer at him. "You'll let me, right?" 

Your eyes softened. "Of course, Taehyung."

"Tae." He corrected you, coming closer to press a kiss on your forehead. 

You smiled when he moved back, glancing down at all of him and laughing. "For beginners, how about we get you clothes to change into?" 

He looked down at his clothes, laughing with you. "Let's go, then?" 

You nodded at him, pulling him out of the office, and locking it securely before turning to a widely grinning Taehyung. "I have a feeling I'm going to love the daytime. It's just so positive, and nice, don't you think? Really warm all over." 

"You're just saying that because you lived like a night owl," you laughed at him, watching his eyes sparkle in the sunshine. 

"Yeah, that wasn't the best way to live, was it?" He clicked his tongue and frowned. "Guess I better start living well now. To new beginnings, then, Officer!!" He grinned and poked your forehead. 

You watched Taehyung skip over the pebbles that were lined outside the office, walking freely on the streets, feeling the dread that you had let build up in your heart for so long slowly drain out of you. "Wait for me!" You screamed behind him, running to catch up to him. To new beginnings, you thought. 

a/n: hopefully, this piece of writing was worth your time 😊 thank you so much for reading graffiti and chalk!! I'd love to hear any feedback you have. Feel free to send it in as a comment, reblog, or as an ask! love, hazel 💞

taglist: @taejinnies (the torture is over bahaha), @xiaokoo, @thedarkwinterrose, @shatzkrinslinzki

masterlist

[liddolwhynot2000]

Decisions Of a Capricorn

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Summary: Levi Ackerman woke up one fine morning. In the past. Shit.

Genre: Angst, lets-change-shit, drama, liddol romance (Levixhappiness)

Pairings: Levi/Original Female Character, Levi/Petra

Warning: Manga spoilers

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Chapter 1. Chapter 2

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Chapter 3: Brace

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Summary:  Capricorns can be naturally pessimistic. They already expect unfortunate things to happen in life, so they take them in a stride.

Alternatively, Levi braces himself for the worst and is pleasantly suprised.

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Telling his squad had gone better then he thought it would. His special ops members took the news it in a stride, immediately launching into a discussion of what they needed to do now and how to utilize this information best. Eren, as expected of his 15 year old version, was befuddled.

Levi wondered how someone so innocent looking transformed into a complete monster in such short time.

His squad had lived up to his expectations, easily concluding that they need to keep this information to themselves for now. Eld, ever the natural born leader, took the lead and suggested that they need to learn to work with Eren. So that they aren't caught off guard on the bare minimum skill level they can expect from the traitor.

Gunther was the one who brought up the possibility of facing the armoured titan, and even though Levi was sure they wouldn't have to face that particular beast yet, he still agreed with their suggestions of carrying some fire arms. Thunder spears didn't exist yet, which meant that grenades and canons would be their best shot.

Eren had tried to voice out his own suggestion, that he wanted to train his skill set too. He felt that he needex to improve in some areas, and although Levi bitterly recalled how much Eren had improved without help in another life, he had to agree with the brat.

His squad, however, didn't share the same opinion and immediately began to shut Eren down.

'Eren, your job is to trust us. We expect you to leave it all to us and transform as an absolute last resort!'

'Yeah, you brat, don't get cocky. The only way you'll fight is if we somehow di-'

Olou had bitten his tounge and cut himself off before Levi could. Levi had then interrupted before Eld and Gunther could throw in their two cents.

'Eren is the main target, what will all of you do if Eren is somehow dragged away you from you and has to fight for himself? We need to prepare this brat for everything, especially how to fight in his titan form.'

They had all shut up, but he could tell it was only because of Eren's presence. They wouldn't be caught dead speaking speak out against their superior, especially in front of Eren. Levi had taken advantage of that little fact.

'We'll get back to this in a while-- Eren it's time for you to transform. Four eyes is here'

____________________________________

It went just like last time, Eren wasn't able to transform. He sat in front of Levi, looking just as despondent he had the last time. He didn't walk away from Eren like last time, instead having chosen to stick close to the brat. Some things still needed to happen, and Levi was just waiting for that inevitable explosion.

When Eren accidentally transformed this time, he immediately took out his blades and points them at his team, not at all surprised that they had already drawn their blades.

They would always be talented little brats, but they had a long way to go..

'Captain-'

'Put down your blades Petra.'

'Captain get away from Eren-Please-'

It had continued on, with the brats arguing in favour of heatedly questioning Eren and his motives, while he had ferociously stood by the him. It was a part of the plan really-he knew that Eren would be fine no matter what. He just hoped that, at least this time around, the brat would take his taking a stand for him like this into consideration before he decided to launch a mass genocide on his own.

'Shut up and obey.'

His team had faltered, and then slowly lowered their swords as he began to speak.

'Do you have any other titan shifters?'

They all looked confused. Only Olou managed to speak croak out a strangled no. Levi pointed at Eren, who was panicking alot less since Levi had begun to speak in his favour.

'You see this dumbass? He's our only shot. There's no replacement for him. All of you can be replaced, Erwin can be replaced, Hange can be replaced. Despite your silly admiration of me, I could easily drop dead and be replaced too.-'

His squad had looked scandalised at the thought of their beloved captain being anything remotely close to being replaceable. Then again, none of them had experienced Mikasa and her unnatural strength yet.

'We need him. He doesn't need us. Understand that none of you can afford to point your blades at him without my orders. The next time you do so, I will be your opponent.'

Eld and Gunther had looked nervous, Olou had visibly begun to sweat and Petra had looked at him a little strangely. However, they all seemed to understand the point he wanted to make. '

'Am I clear?

They all nodded

'Yes Sir!'

____________________________________

He had made sure to still have that chat with Eren, to make him understand his squads actions. He knew Eren trusted him a little more this time around-his showing support toward him like this had likely changed his opinion of him, if only a little. Levi was banking on that, hopefully he could push the kid in the right direction.

He had gone to his room after Hange had explained Eren's transformation and his squad had shown support towards Eren by biting their hands. A filthy act, but he supposed in this case he would allow it. Not that it stopped him from ordering them to go sanitise their hands and not come near him for a while.

He had even made his tea on his own, unwilling to let them touch them with their germ infected hands. Petra had looked at him oddly when he had told her he would do it on his own, almost like a kicked puppy.

He sat in bed, tea long finished and mind occupied.

He had been somewhat productive so far, managing to manipulate Erwin into changing the plan to capture the female titan. His squad was well in the loop, and likely making several plans to take on a titan shifter. Eren was beginning to look at him with more trust, something he hoped would blossom more.

There was still too much to figure out though. And since Levi had resolved to not let Erwin in on the plan, he was now drowning in things he needed to figure out. How Erwin managed to sort through so much crap was beyond him.

Some things, he had already figured out. Others were still being debated upon.

When it came to Historia, he would injure her tommorow, to the point she wouldn't be able make it to the expedition. She would likely try to jail him for it after taking the crown, but he figured he could call it vacation time from work and enjoy the silence. Those brats were too loud anyways.

He knew that Rod Reiss might come after her sooner after hearing that she had been injured, so he would have an old friend keep an eye out for her. It was an aquantince from the underground, one of the few he could trust, that had managed to crawl their way to the surface too. He was strong and capable-and very good at hiding when he needed to.

Only Levi had ever been able to find him- and since he knew Kenny Ackerman wouldn't be used yet, he felt it was the best way to keep her safe.

He had also decided that he would have to kill Kenny. He had contemplated recruiting the old bastard, but Kenny was too much of a gamble. The type only Erwin would take on trying to recruit. And while it would be feasible to drop hints about his mentor in the underground to the Commander, he wasn't sure the Survey Corps could handle a mission like that. Their attention needed to be on capturing shifters and getting Historia to the crown.

Maybe Erwin could risk something like that, but this time it would be his deicison. Kenny, despite his conflicting feelings towards him, had to be eliminated. He just couldn't chance their opposition having someone like that on their side, and wasn't confident enough that they could get him to jump ship.

The rest he was still a little muddled on. He was reasonably sure he could draw Ymir to their side, especially if he told her about how Historia would be queen soon. But the girl wasn't dumb, she would also be able to tell that Historia would have a part time job as child breeder, and might even try to leave with her then.

It pained him to do so, but he couldn't save Historia from that fate. He could, however try his damned hardest that her children wouldn't be turned into shifters.

The other shifters left him feeling conflicted. They needed the Colossal titan, he would be their mass weapon against other nations. The moment he could, he would get the serum and feed Bertolts titan to one of their soldiers. There would be no compromising on that, no matter how much he wished he could lure the kid to their side instead and spare him from that painful death. He just didn't know the kid enough to ensure he could win him over.

As for Reiner, Levi recalled the young man who had stepped up to stop Eren. He recognised that he was stuck in a tough place, but again, he would have to harden his heart. He had to keep his side as safe as possible, even if it meant taking away the armoured titan.

A part of him still hoped that he could get the kid to join him though, he would definitely try for it.

As for Zeke and Pieck, who had likely already arrived on the island, they would be dealt promptly. Zeke would need to be restrained and hidden away in a deep tunnel, while the cart titan would be given to someone else.

He would, unfortunately, have to allow Zeke to turn Ragako Village into titans. But he figured not everyone needed to be turned for it, he could at least get the children out of there. Connie's mother had been key in figuring out the truth about titans, and so he would have to sacrifice her. But Connie's siblings would at least live this time around.

More of his cormades would survive the attack too, having less titans to deal with. He was hoping that Mike and his squad would get out of it alive and not be dealt the same unfortunate fate they had suffered through before.

When it came to Annie, however, Levi already knew what to do. If all went well, he was more then sure that the Female Titan would be fighting for the Island soon enough.

His plans regarding the shifters were a big gamble on his part, since it was all relying on one thing specifically.

Getting the titan serum from the Royal government.

But Levi was a thief at heart, a man who knew how to get things no one wanted to give, to find them in the shadiest corner, completely undetected. Worst comes, he would easily infiltrate. Their security was crap anyways.

He would know. It wouldn't be the first time he had stolen something from those bastards anyways.

Levi laid down, covering himself with a blanket. He thought of one last thing before he allowed sleep to overcome him.

It was dumb of Marley to send six of their shifters to the Island, and all at the same time too. Because Levi had no intention of letting any of them go back home, not this time around.

____________________________________

In all his years of living, Levi had gotten used to being surprised. He had gone through surprise attacks, friends turning into foes, getting punched by the Queen and even time travelled. Yet had taken it all in a stride.

He had expected that half his plans would fail, that he would end up losing his squad anyways, that Annie would escape this time too. But here they were, sitting in the mess hall, post expedition, and very much alive.

Erwin had informed more squads about the traitor, although thankfully Reiner and his squad hadn't been told. Most of them had understood that they likely wouldn't be able to take on the threat, and their squad leaders had made sure to have them engage very litte. They had tactfully allowed the Female Titan to pass through the formation, thus leading her to Eren. More lives had been saved this time around, much to his pleasure.

They had gone through the same plan, trapping her in the forest. Erwin had stood by and watched as the female titan glared at him. Beside him had stood soldier with black hair, wearing a hoodie. Their face had been hidden, but everyone had called that soldier captain Levi. It had made Annie think she was safe, that when she called titans to her and left to go after squad Levi, Humanity's Strongest wouldn't come after her until she accomplished her mission.

It was only when she reached the squad and made to slice at Gunther that she realise that she had been duped. The sight of Humanity's Strongest blocking her blade with his own had caused her to sweat.

Things had gotten on easily then, she hadn't been much match for him. And his squad had taken double their usual measures, going as far as to throw explosives at her before he could carve her out of the nape. Eren had watched it all in awe, thankfully the brat hadn't needed to transform this time around.

His expression had quickly changed to shock and betrayal once he spotted his comrade sealed in a crystal. Levi wasn't suprised that she had sealed herself like that this time too, he had been counting on it actually.

Levi snapped out of his thoughts and pushed his now empty tray away. He decided it was the perfect time to put his plan into action.

He needed to pay Annie Leonhart a visit.

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A/N: Heyooo. Here's chapter 3! Any guesses how Levi is getting Annie on their side?

Sorry I don't post much, but I swear things have been ridiculously busy. Uni life, housework, and my mom is sick too :(

[af1899]

FEH - update notes [5.10.0] + thoughts and reactions

So, I.S. posted the release notes for the Fire Emblem Heroes 5.10.0 software update with quite the delay, but you can see them here.

I'll comment on each point of interest right below, skipping on less relevant stuff Imo.

Tfw you were saving for the merge but it'll come at you for free the same month

I was planning to save for Halloween Kagero (and use the opportunity to perhaps get a merge on either/both Halloween Myrrh/Mia) but her first merge is literally coming my way with enough participation in events and I'm excited to get it of course, I'm definitely gonna work my way through it. My plan now is to summon all but blue in her rerun banner in the first round, then wait for whatever banner could be of my interest before deciding if I wanna keep trying... at least this free merge will help me...

If you're looking to fodder her, she has [Bottle Juice+] (always active [Guard] positive effect) or [Bold Fighter 3] as noteworthy fodder, you'd probably prefer the former since it's seasonal and somewhat useful, but the latter is also great.

This time, both 5★ [Combat Manuals] are seasonals, the other is Halloween L'Arachel who has a bunch of nice fodder options, I'm taking [Madness Flask+] (grants same effect as [Fury 3]) and [Rally Atk/Spd+] as I think they are among her best comboes (as for who will get those, it's been decided to be Female Robin... I don't really like at all the Lv.2 {Tactic} effect and I'd daresay Cecilia is better for colorless/blue checking overall, so I'll delegate that role to her and do something else with Female Robin... who should start to get some premium skills), but should you need to plan ahead who needs some of her skills, she has the mentioned ones plus [Swift Sparrow 2] and [Spd/Res Ruse 3].

You may also be able to get that Young Innes, a good practice is to save all {Divine Codes: Ephemera} of the month until no more are obtainable, then pick the [Combat Manuals] you need, otherwise you may be risking to lose one of the free 5★ ones or even the [Heroic Grails] one — which you shouldn't — but with active participation you should get something over 700 to get those.

The red refines batch

This time, everyone is only red, like... why? But at least, some units that have been waiting on those refines will finally get them, Soleil has sure been waiting for long, hasn't she? I'm not excited for her at all but I'm glad for her fans.

I'm moreso looking forward to Laevatein's refine, even though I don't have special admiration for her, she's still an interesting character indeed, I actually have her but never built her properly... and I'm glad I did wait this long since a refine should give me a better direction on how she should be built:

Bridal Tharja was also due her refine since she was the next seasonal with preference weapon waiting on a refine, next should be Summer Tana, which I'm hyped about!

I'm also curious about Julius too, sadly I foddered one of the free copies but I still have some around should I end up building him someday, hopefully his refine will give me a "oomph!" to get on it.

Wrapping things up

Gonna start to finish this post talking about this new feature, from the looks of it, the [Memento Events] (cinematics you watch to get [Rapport] and rewards) can be now obtained by choice using a specific resource that's locked to the current season of the [Heroes Journey] event, so you should use them before they vanish...

[Memento Events] can now be watched anytime, instead of when [Heroes Journey] is around.

I think this is a nice feature, it doesn't do much to improve the event's overall rating Imo, but it's nice that at least, I.S. allows us to somehow relive it anytime.

I realized I've never gave my opinion on this event... I'll rate it at 7.5/10, it's nice to have more interaction with our units, we can even hang out with our favorite character by bringing along [My Summoner] in a growing variety of sceneries, some of them being really heartwarming, but the rewards are slightly underwhelming barring [Orbs], and asides the cutscene stuff you have to partake in [Heroic Ordeals]-esque battles that cost [Stamina].

Aaanyway...

...Yes, I consider this part important, I'm still waiting to put "No Justice" (whichever version) from Fire Emblem Fates everywhere in the game, best track of the game hands down.

This is more important though:

...There'll be a maintenance period, we've been notified before I believe, neverthless, it doesn't hurt to add the periods here and remind you the game will be unplayable during this period, the seasonal banner comes the 7th.

Use this clock for reference... so you can have an idea of when maintenance starts; for me, it starts at 9 p.m. the 5th and ends the next day at 2 a.m. (PT is 4 hours behind GMT-3), it's likely we'll get the trailer in-between, and the update roll out at 8 p.m. (GMT-3) at the usual day before the banner, do note they don't say when the update will be out.

As for you, use said clock to determine what's the difference between the PT timezone and yours, then use that difference to go forward/back in the time periods that appear above.

For example, it's 10/1 11:50 p.m. in PT, and 10/2 3:50 a.m. in GMT-3, I can see there's a 4 hour difference, so I add 4 hours to each timestamp I.S. gives me: "10/5/2021 10:00 p.m." in PT is "11/5/2021 2:00 a.m." in GMT-3. (The date format in my country is DD/MM/YYYY but normally I'll use the American format here, to avoid confusing the English-speaking community)

The update details are now in the bulletin board in-game but figured you could keep this advice for the future, the in-game notices already convert the timestampts to your timezone.

In any case, that's all for this post and I hope the info here has proven to be helpful to you!

Btw... I just spent 4 [Orbs] on [Performing Arts] revival banner (had a circle with three red stones, 1 colorless and 1 green, chose the latter first then the former) and got nothing special on either, just some random low rarity units... meh, I'll just keep saving.

[lunawritesaa]

Well you already know who i am. But i guess i'm not an anon anymore if i submit this haha. The twins were born from my love for sebastian. I'm german btw so sorry if i make any grammar mistake. Also trigger warning for some topics. Ok let's go.

(adding a readmore bc of said sensitive topics, please read at your own discretion - luna)

Naamah and Noah Lillith are unidentical twins, born from the same mother but not from the same father (heteropaternal superfecundation), thus making them actually half siblings. They are nonbinary and 20 years old. Noah is the tallest of the siblings, with 210 cm in height. They are also the tallest character of all the AA cast. Naamah follows in the second place with 209 cm. Their real height is 201 cm, but they try to catch up with their sibling in height by wearing heels. Naamah has a little complex in that area, but still love their older sibling. In body built Noah is the person with female parts but male attributes, while Naamah is the one with male parts and female atrributes. Noah is more on the chubby side and doesn't like to show their body alot, Naamah is the complete opposite.

From the day they could think, they would always hear from their mother to be the best. You see while other kids had a loving family, the twins mother was known to only care about appearance and riches and her children were not spared from her toxic behavoir. Since Noah was on the chubby side, their mother would belittle them calling them fat, ugly, etc. Naamah was spared, beacuse they had the body of a model. However their mother would also scream at them for not doing things how she liked. This left Noah with large social fear and Naamah with a little infurity complex. Noah would only be their true self while in the presence of their sibling and Naamah was a little jealous of their siblings height, but loved them and cared for them still. They met Sebastian Debeste when their mother visited Blaise Debeste to discuss unknown matters. The twins and the little boy became fast friends and from the duo became a trio.

The night their mother died was also the manifastation of a deep trauma (memory loss or forgetting about the acciedent that caused the trauma). The mother of the twins was belittling her children as always but this time Naamah had enough. They no longer wanted to be pushed around and formed into something they don't want to be, so Naamah took a gun that their mother kept for safety and shoots. However the first shot misses it's target and hits Noah in their eye. The second shot was a bullseye with their mother proclaimed dead. The case was filed as self defence.

The twins grew up with Naamah wanting to be a prosecutor and Noah as their assistant. They met with Sebastian again while studying at the same school. The twins gratuated 2 years earlier than Sebastian and took on cases that were quickly solved. During the events of the game the twins can be often seen with the young man, helping with the investigation, trials and his memory/speaking problems. Naamah seems to be closer to Sebastian than Noah, with Naamah openly flirting and teasing the man. Later when it was found out that Blaise Debeste was behind everything the twins had to be physically held back by many police officers, so that they would not harm the old man. Naamah comforted Sebastian after that and they confessed to eachother.

Hopefully this ok. And i don't have to many grammar mistakes haha. Also i apolegize if i made you uncomfortable with anything i have writen in there.

Art of the twins i drew (i swear they looked better in my head T-T):

——

OOOOOO ONCE AGAIN I AM BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR CREATIVITY!! THIS IS REALLY, REALLY INTERESTING!

i feel so bad for them :( like i just wanna give them a hug because of what they went through. but it’s a very interesting backstory.. it’s very traumatic and sad, but you did a good job of writing it! sometimes it can be hard to write such detailed, sad backstories so you really did a nice job.

i love that they’re so close to sebastian. he honestly needs people close to him that can understand his trauma and can sympathize with him. your ocs seem like they’d be really good friends to him!! i love it sm and i just know that they’d be good friends! and lovers omg they’d be adorable couple!! i lowkey ship it haha

the drawings too??? wdym they’re amazing!! their designs are so beautiful ahh!! i really, really like how they look! they’re both very pretty :) your art is amazing, give yourself some credit!

and your grammar was fine! nothing to be concerned about at all, it was perfect. thank you for sharing! it was a really interesting read and i appreciate you sharing this with me ❤️

feel free to talk about them more if you’d like!

[el-pintor]

Thoughts about the Christmas special

This will be a long, long, long post...

First, I write about ZhanYi and then about Tianshan.

ZhanYi:

Jian Yi's comment about his strength:

— Jian Yi mentions that he is so strong that he could pull trees out. This is pretty interesting information. Because this could indicate the time during the kidnapping, depending on how seriously you can interpret the statements. Did he continue to train or drill? Is it the result of training with He Cheng?

- In addition, this drunk talking could also refer to earlier chapters. Jian Yi has a desire to become stronger because he felt helpless against Mo. Incidentally, it is the first appearance of Mo.

The apartment:

— Whose apartment is this? Probably Zhen Xis, since Jian Yi is only at Xi's apartment in the future chapters. In contrast to earlier insights, the apartment is also pretty tidy.

– However, the interior differs massively from the previous chapters. I don't expect Zhen Xi and Jian Yi to be living together at this point. Old Xian just may not have used the previous references.

— So the connection between the two seems to be as strong as ever since Xi possibly brings him home to his flat instead to Jian Yi's.

- And another proof of how much Xi's character has changed. Because in the beginning, he didn't want anything more than kicking out Yi as soon as he showed up.

- He also apparently abandoned the violent nature. Instead of beating him up, he sits down on the couch with him in an embrace and falls asleep. He doesn't even take off his jacket, but lets Jian Yi willingly hug him.

- Somehow cute. Nevertheless, I hope that he will soon no longer keep Jian Yi friendzoned and return his feelings.

- Just as home furnishings have changed, Zheng Xi's character has changed.

— But maybe that's Jian Yi's apartment after all. No one knows about his living condition.

- Does he live alone? Or with his mother? Maybe he's back in He Cheng's care? Does Zheng Xi even know Jian Yi's address?

I hope we can find out more soon.

Tianshan

I think there are a lot of inconsistencies and you don't really get their behavior.

First of all a few trivial comments.

Rings:

- He Tian wears the ring he took himself as a gift. Coincidentally, it also fits like a glove. Either it would be too big for Mo anyway, or you can adjust the ring.

- In the first panel, it seems that Mo is also wearing a ring.

He Tian flirting:

- He Tian goes straight to the attack and leaves no unnecessary time and doubts about his intentions: After flirting, he just takes off his jacket and throws himself and Mo on the bed.

- He is hopelessly in love and love everything about Mo.

- That Mo has a newfound interest on studying turns he even more on.

- I think despite the fact that the room is too small for him, he will develop a secret preference for the bed. Because it's narrow and there is no place to escape and to keep a certain distance. So perfectly made for  cuddling and sticking close together.

The apartment, Room, whatever you can call it:

- I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books).

- The guitar on his bed plus other books.

- At first I thought that the "apartment" consists of only one room, but the kitchen and at least the bathroom are missing.

- it's quite empty and reminds of He Tian's empty apartment.

- Still, it's pretty run down and seems so cold. I hope Mo doesn't freeze.

Living condition:

- The question, of course, would be why Mo lives under this condition, although he would have it better in his mother's old apartment.

- Did he want to become independent as quickly as possible and therefore moved out so as not to further burden his mother?

- However, I hardly think that his mother would have been satisfied with the condition of the apartment, because the condition is worrying. I don't think he invites his mother over to his house.

-I don't know if that is standard in China when you don't have money. In addition, 19 is still quite young. Many people still live with their parents at this age.

- Did something happen to the mother? Hopefully not.

But maybe Mo is just rebellious and proud that he could afford something of his own.

Indications of Mos' current activity.

- As I said, I immediately noticed the rule with books (if they were books). Which of course is totally untypical for Mo, since he was never interested in books and learning.

- Are these cook and music books?

- Can someone tell me what's written on this book?

- The book in He Tian's hand has an unusual book form. So I suspect that this is a music book with notes or tabs. It seems to be at least a book for studying.

- So does Mo study anything with music and do his part-time jobs to finance it?

- Does he study anything else?

- Does he go to university at all?

- Or does he really earn his money only with part-time jobs? Obviously he won't make much money with it, so they could only be an interim solution if Mo didn't want to keep this lifestyle for life.

- For the university in China you need a lot of money, which you couldn't pay on your own. But there is the possibility of scholarships (I just assume that there is also something like that in China). Maybe he got a music scholarship?

- Mo doesn't seem to have many things. Of course, the books and the guitar are striking.

The guitar

- At first glance, the guitar is reminiscent of He Tian's guitar, which he would like to give to Mo.

- If you take a closer look, they are identical in shape and color, but they are two completely different guitars.

- He Tian's guitar is an acoustic (or concert) guitar and Mo's is an electric guitar.

- Could it be a little mistake from Old Xian?

- Perhaps this is also a later gift from He Tian after Mo learned to play guitar with the acoustic guitar and get advanced. A lot of people start with an acoustic guitar before playing electric guitar.

- Maybe the guitar is from the same serial production.

- Maybe He Tian owns the acoustic guitar and buys an electric guitar for Mo from the same series after Mo's interest for learning guitar has been completely awakened.

- By the way, you need a guitar amplifier for full fun with an electric guitar. I didn't see it in his room.

- Unless this could be an amp. Does anyone know what this thing could be? For me this could be organizers.

- It's s also extremely inconvenient in an apartment to turn it up fully. (Do more people actually live there? The apartment looks more like an old rehearsal room or a garage. My rehearsal room looked something like this, that's why the associations).

- You can also play the electric guitar on headphones, but that's pretty impractical because of the sound (it differs, if you use headphones ir not) and you still need an amp.

- By the way, music it's a costly pleasure. So, it is all the more interesting what exactly Mo does and how he finances everything.

- But I think those are little things that Old Xian probably doesn't think about (something that you easily can forget) .

- I wonder if Mo is in a band. Maybe with Zhen Xi together.

So now to the most complicated point:

Hey Tian, ​​his disappearance and the relationship with Mo.

- One learns that He Tian was not in China for a while.

Many questions arise from this:

- When was he gone?

- How long was he gone?

- Has he been away for a long period of time or is it a coming and going? A lot of it is pretty unclear, so you could guess both.

- The fact that He Tian was away for a long time speaks for the fact that he has never been to Mo's apartment. Has Mo just recently moved there?

- What is also new for him is that Mo reads books or even studies. You should actually know that if you were in regular contact. So is this a recent Mo hobby? That is rather unlikely. So how much did they really have to do with each other in the 4 years?

— However, there are some arguments against staying longer:

- He Tian knows where Mo works. If He Tian had been away for years, how would he know where Mo works? From Jian Yi or Zahn Xi? Maybe from Mo himself? Mo would most likely not give it away. So He Tian should at least stop by for visits.

- The second thing that speaks against it, is that Mo knows where He Tian lives. He Tian probably didn't change his apartment, but could have been if you weren't in the country for a long period of time. At least that doesn't indicate radio silence.

The relationship with Mo:

- After the chapters and all the hints, it was thought that the penny had finally fallen between the two, but no.

- Their relationship to each other has not really changed.

- Mo is still dismissive to He Tian.

There are several reasons about this matter:

— 1. Mo feels hurt and probably betrayed too.

- He Tian asked Mo in middle school not to abandom him. Now HE was the one who left and left Mo behind. Depending on the point in time at which this occurred, it is logical to first react in a negative manner.

— Nevertheless, He Tian seems to be a part of Mo's life, which he does not really want to give up and maybe also gives evidence that he might misses him.

The following aspect indicate

- He lit a cigarette, reminiscent of He Tian.

- He is still wearing his earrings.

- In addition, the design of his electric guitar is similar to He Tian's.

— 2. Mo couldn't build a closer bond with He Tian because He Tian left the country right after middle school.

- How can you build a relationship if you hardly see or not see each other?

- Mo has problems with trust. So I can imagine, that this could be extremely bitter for him and he is angry. Especially if he had open up to He Tian and then his gone.

— 3. Mo is just too stubborn to admit his feelings and get involved with He Tian and is a tsundere, so he have to act this way.

- Definition of a tsundere: "A tsundere is a character, most often female and in anime, who switches from being tough and cold towards a love interest into being soft and sweet"

- Well, I'm not so keen on these whole tsundere explanations. Of course his character is like a tsundere but it would be to simple to explain his character so one sided.

- Even tsundere characters can make progress and that's what I missing. The reationship between those two is going back and forth mostly two steps back and one forth. It's like they are stuck in this, just like ZhanYi are stuck in their relationship. But in this matter you know that Jian was gone for three years. Still I hoped Zhan Xi would finally admit his feelings, but he rather go with the safety zone. The case of Tianshan is way more complicated: You don't know what happened between them in these years. But He Tian seems to be in love more than ever and Mo seems to that he still hasn't figured out his feelings and doesn’t give the attention that He Tian wants. Mo is 18 or 19, not 15 anymore and I wish he would act more mature. But on the other hand, He Tian is really pushy again and is testing his limits. It's understandable that Mo acts irritated.

- So I think they are still don't there where you can call this a mutual relationship.

- They will eventually in the future, but this will take a lot more time obviously and they have a long road ahead.

Of course there is progress:

- Mo seems to have grown used to He Tian's approach.

- He is less aggressive, can even be touched, and he doesn't immediately panic. In the other special he even voluntarily shares a room with He Tian.

- On the other hand, He Tian seems to have become more courageous, so you thought, they really started out with a physical relationship.

- He gives away condoms, hugs him profusely, and tries to get to his butt (other special).

- Maybe they really did have an on-off thing.

- Old Xian indicated that He Tian was allowed to stay the night. So Mo doesn't throw him out. The only question is whether he is allowed to sleep in bed or whether the floor has to suffice.

- So yeah, for me this is really confusing.

Other abnormalities:

- Where's the dog?

- Did Xi stays true to the music? So far there has not been a hint of a musical instrument at his flat.

- What about Yi? Does he continue to play the guitar?

- And He Tian?

- When and why did Mo get his second piercing?

- He Tian doesn't seem to wear the chain with ring. Maybe he get it later?

[angstywriterangst]

Tagged by @wishingupontheskyandstars Thank you <3

Rules: Name your top 10 characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 people.

(Do not do what I did and write essays on why you like what you like lol I doubt anybody will read this or cares)

In no particular order-

1. Star Wars: Ben Solo/Kylo Ren (he has my whole ❤️), but also Ahsoka (my role model), Ventress (what a character arc!), Rey, Anakin and Padme, Yoda (in the OT he was hilarious! In the prequels he was too serious. I guess exhile will do wonders for your sense of humor 😂 ) ugh so many great characters!!! I better stop myself.

2. GoT: ugh so many good characters in this fandom too... Arya, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Sansa, John, Sam, Tormund, Sandor, Jamie (except the show ruined his arc!!! Come on George, finish those books to heal my soul)... and as much as I hate her, Cersei. Yes, I know I know, but she is such a complex and well written character, and she was perfectly portrayed by the incomparable Lena Heady. She must have been so much fun to play. A once in a lifetime role, and just phenomenal for an actress to score. There are so few good female villians. You just love to hate her.

3 HP: the fandom that started it all for me, and the first novel I ever read all by myself. Also, so many good characters... Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore (an imperfect human being, but that's why he's a good and complex character), Snape (same reason Snape is a good character. Characters don't have to be saints to be fascinating), all the Weasleys (except Percy, you can go impale yourself on a cheap cast iron fence because you didn't spend enough time with boys, according to the psychiatrist in the Virgin Suicides aka the dumbest movie about mental illness I have ever seen).

4 Dr Who: 4th and 10th doctor. Donna (I relate to her so much and her arc is perfect and breaks my heart), and Rose (same).

5. Merlin: the best plotted fantasy show ever. Everything was tight and seemless. Again, so many great characters, but I'm in love with Merlin and Morgana (phenomenal downward chart arc! Once in a lifetime kind of role, a perfect and sympathetic villian you hate to hate because of who she used to be, and love to hate because she's such a fantastic villian)

6. Supernatural: also one of my earliest fandoms! So sad to see it go 😭. Again, so many good characters. Of course my 3 boys, Sam, Dean, and Cas, and Cas' side chick Crowely. Lucifer, Gabriel, Chuck, Meg, and the queen, Rowena.

7. The Black Magician: probably my second fandom I entered as a young child. Literally no one knows about these books, written in the late 90's and published in Australia. I admit they aren't the best written, but they were the first high fantasy I ever read by myself, introduced me to tropes that are still my favs to this day (like enemies to lovers, guardian/ward, master/apprentice, exploring themes of classism, racism, and overcoming homophobia) so they have really influenced my writing in that way. The old 90's style fantasy covers are gorgeous oil paintings that have nothing to do with the plot but they look cool 😂 the new ones are a huge downgrade, still have nothing to do with the plot, but are boring and unimaginative photoshop (fantasy, sci/fi, and romance covers of the 20th century were gorgeous). But anyway, characters. Sonea, Akkarin, Dannyl, Rothen.

8.Hannibal: yes, I am a fannibal! The NBC show is incredible, Bryan Fuller is a gift. True genuis, I've never seen more beautiful cinematography. Hannibal, Will, Alanna, Abigail

9. Grisha verse: I recently read the Shadow and Bone trilogy and I'm in love! Especially with Darkles 😊 that unrepentant irredeemable sociopath has my whole 🖤 'every inch of my tar black soul'. I haven't read YA lit for a few years, but I'm so glad I made an exception for these books! Hopefully the new Netflix adaptation will do it justice. So many good characters, but I'd pick The Darkling, Alina, Nicolai, Genya

10. PotC: my love for all things swashbuckling started in childhood and it hasn't waned a bit! Elizabeth Swan is an incredible female lead, and she especially stands out against the other female characters of the early 2000's, which at the time there wasn't really much conversation on 'the strong female character' questions all actresses get asked these days. I especially love that she's always a little smarter than Will, and the only one to ever outsmart Captain Jack himself. She has an incredible arc. This is also imo the best thing Johnny Depp has ever done. And Orlando Bloom is as magnificent a pirate as he is an elf (he was probably my first celebrity crush lol). It also has some of the best fight choreography, there's always multiple layers going on in every scene so you never get bored. The first movie is an example of a perfect film (in fact there's a video essay about it on YouTube I recommend if that's your thing), the second film is also solid. The 3rd wasn't as tightly written (they hadn't finished the script by the time they started filming lol) so it's too long and meandering but still fun. And I don't acknowledge the other films exist (although the mermaids are pretty). Elizabeth, Captain Jack Sparrow, Will, Barbossa, Davy Jones, Pintel and Raggeti

Honorable mentions:

Uglies (fantastic sci/fi, strong focuse on female friendship. Scott Westerfield is one of two male authors who can write realistically from the teenage female perspective imo), Tally, Shay, Zane, David.

The Tommorrow series (John Marsden is the second man able to write from a teenage girl's perspective) if you're not Australian or a Kiwi you probably don't know about this either lol but it's absolutely a fantastic must read! Ellie, Fiona, Robyn, Chris

Mercy Thompson (the ultimate urban fantasy werewolf series! With mysteries, fae lore and vampires thrown in to spice it up), Mercy, Adam, Jesse, Bran, Stefan

The Hollows aka Rachel Morgan series: (fun urban fantasy adventures and mystery's! Starring a witch, pixie, and bi-sexual vampire living in and running a private investigator business from a rented church, complete with old tombstones in the backyard. Also the slowest of enemy to lovers burns 😋) Rachel, Jenks, Ivy, Trent, Al

The Witcher: I'm brand new to this fandom, but I'm loving it. Yennefer is my queen!

Broadchurch: a perfect mystery series. Hardy and Miller

Hades and Persephone: The Curse of the Golden Arrow- if you like Greek mythology, Hades and Persephone, perhaps are a reylo fan and are a fan of the incomparable @heidihastings (who I'm also challenging!) reylo inspired art, then go buy this gorgeously illustrated novel! (There's a kindle and a black and white version. But if you want to splurge on the colored version of the physical copy, here's the link for that. It's worth every penny.)

I challenge:

@heidihastings @jrae5 @qotsisajakk @shadesoflondonxoxo @a-nerd-obsessed @tracy-adkins @writers-block-personified @ann3onymous @hauscrashburn @starawr

[scriptmyth]

Hello, I am planning on writing about mermaids. But I don't want to romanticize it or anything. I want to write how it is according to myths. I found a load in books and online, but just to be sure, I was wondering if you know anything about them? Or some details, maybe? Thank you!

Can I ask you something about mermaids? I know basically nothing about them, aside for the fact that different cultures see them in different ways. Like… I would like to know HOW they are seen in those different cultures. (½)

Does it change their attitude? Where they live? Are they always “bad creatures” or not? And last.. What about selkies? (I’m sorry if this is not very clear but english is not my mother tongue) (2/2) 

Hello!

So we had two asks that were pretty similar about merfolk and since one was anonymous we’ve answered them both here. Hopefully, neither of you mind.

In Slavic culture the beliefs around mermaids vary. The moost used Russian word that is generally translated as “mermaid” is “rusalka” (русалка); it is present in different Slavic languages. Many scholars also believe that the Ukrainian and South Slavic “mavka” or navka (мавка/навка) has many similarities with rusalka, and can even be considered the same thing. Another word that can be used is “pharaonka” (or faraonka) (фараонка) – this one comes from one of the beliefs of their origin – in some regions it is believed that mermaids originated from the pharaoh’s army after they drowned in the Red Sea (Book of Exodus). 

The word “mavka” or “navka”, on the other hand, is usually connected to Proto-Slavic “nav’” (навь) – “death” or “the dead”. As for the word “rusalka”, its origin isn’t exactly clear – some think that it comes from the Roman festival Rosalia (mostly basing it on one of the old Slavic festival “rusal’naya nedelya”, rusalnaya week), others connect it to different words around water – streambed “ruslo” (русло), or dew “rosa” (роса), or even the names of the rivers. Yet another scholar finds a connection between the name and the most common hair colour for the creatures – fair (rusyi – русый – in Russian). 

While “rusalka” is one of the common translations for the mermaid, in many ways they’re more like nymphs – sometimes they’re believed to be wood sprites. Still, in many regions there’s a clear connection between rusalkas and water, and it is one of the popularized and culturally accepted translations. 

Slavic mermaids are usually mischievous or even evil young women or girls. They lure young men into water and then drown them or tickle them to death (which could have been a euphemism of a sexual encounter, but it is not clear at this point); alternatively, they help young children who got lost in the woods or those people who help them. 

Beliefs on where they come from varies: in some regions, as mentioned above, they’re the remnants of the pharaoh’s army, in others they’re dead young girls that died unmarried, or that committed suicide (usually by drowning) – the latter was popularized by one of the Gogol’s classic stories (although, he never uses the word “rusalka”). Some say witches become mermaids when they die, others that witches can’t become mermaids, it can only be young dead girls. 

As for appearance, it can vary as well. Usually they’re described as young women with unfastened green, blond or fair hair wearing white garments, like sarafans. They also can be imagined as young girls. In other instances they’re scary old hags with huge breasts. Unkempt hair seems to be a very important attribute that is present in any description. 

Their character vary in different regions. In Ural, rusalki sit underwater all the time. If we go south, we find out that the creatures are generally outgoing and come out of water for rusalnaya week to dance in circles not only with each other, but with other people as well. It’s not dangerous to contact them in general, but one shouldn’t go in water with them. Sometimes certain weeds and herbs are used to ward them off. Summing it all up, Slavic mermaids have a definite connection with death and supernatural and can be quite dangerous, but it’s possible to communicate with them without harm to yourself.

So, for the Philippines with it’s 7641 islands, many regions, many influences from other countries across time— there’s bound to be a wide variety of merfolk. Different places will have different stories. Some merfolk will be a bit more like half fish-half human. Others, especially those closer to inland waterfalls or where the rivers have strong undercurrent, the merfolk look almost exactly like humans. Sometimes they have gills or a strong fishy smell. Others are more like fish with scales on their skin, two legs and two arms, webbed feet and hands, as well as a fish head. 

The terminology itself is… it depends who you ask. Some would say there is a hierarchy of merfolk and things like the Catau/Kataw are stronger because they also have abilities to control the waves, storms, the water as opposed to the Siyokoy and Sirena. Others would say that these are just different ways of calling merfolk and the different attributions each culture gives them (in which they don’t exist together in the same oceans)— Catau would be used by the Cebuano, Siyokoy and Sirena is more used by the Ilocano and the Tagalogs, Ugkoy is more used in Waray but I also had a friend who is Waray and calls them Catau. 

Like other beings in the Philippines, they generally don’t mean to harm humans. Often, however, they do kidnap humans because they want to marry them or take them to their homes. They can also be rather generous with giving people gifts of gold jewelry and precious stones. 

In western folklore they’re seen either as a good omen or an extremely bad one, tempting sailors to join them to be their husbands. Of course since humans can’t breathe water this ultimately means their death. 

Selkies are super neat. They are seal women, spending most of their time on the water while occasionally taking off their seal skin on land to sun themselves. If a man finds their skin and hides it, he can take a selkie to be his bride and there is nothing she can do to stop him. However, should she ever find her skin, she will immediately take it and return to the sea, never to be seen again.

Etymologically, selkie means “seal”; in some regions they’re perceived as a creature other than mermaid, but we put them together because they share a lot of features with European mermaids, as well as mermaids around the world. Also, in many stories selkies are never referred to as such: they’re just called maighdean mara (“maiden of the sea”) – or, technically, the term that can be as easily used describing a mermaid or other water sprite.

One interesting feature of selkies is that they’re often connected to certain Irish families. Descendants of these supernatural creatures are either disfigured in one way or the other, or have exceptional prowess in some areas, especially stuff connected to the sea (seafaring, fishing), or sometimes both. They also might have a prohibition against killing seals, or have a physical reaction in response to seal-killing – when seals are killed on the shores of Inishowen, people in the village of Málann reportedly get nosebleeds. In many cases, the “supernatural” abilities are those that give the families advantage in the area or give them important roles in the community.

By the way, not only the Irish prescribed supernatural water-connected ancestry to their noblemen: another prominent example is the legend of Mélusine, the supernatural female ancestor of House of Lusignan. Although, giving any dynasty supernatural ancestry has always been a popular way to legitimize them to the common people; but that’s a different and a very long story.

In this sense the legends and folktales about selkies can be connected to the legend of the birth of Meroveus, the founder of Merovingian dinasty, although it’s more similar to the Irish legend of The Man Who Never Slept – here we deal not with sea maiden who are brought in to the human family, but the fruit of sexual encounter (normally without consent) between a woman and a supernatural water-dwelling being.

You can find much more about selkies, Meroveus and Mélusine, and also the connection between legends concerning them and societal changes of the time in the article “On Mermaids, Meroveus, and Mélusine: Reading the Irish Seal Woman and Mélusine as Origin Legend” by G. Darwin.”

-the Chorus

[soraenun-archive]

well hello there 💕 it is i, your secret admirer (writing to you made me think of all those scenes in shows where someone discreetly drops a letter in their friend's locker to tell them how much they like them) 💌

i'd like to first thank you for putting so much thought into answering my little asks. the fact that you wanted to feel better to give me a thorough response means so much to me 🥺 i'm sorry that you didn't have the best day yesterday :( hopefully, today you're feeling at least a little better. just in case, here are a bunch of hearts just for you 🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍

oh yeah, i definitely feel for my friends who biased nugu/flop groups and when they heard the news of the disbandment, it broke their hearts. which is why i was so happy for brave girls because they got some spotlight after so many years 💓 i was also happy for my mutuals who bias them because you could the genuine excitement through the screen :D you made some great points that i didn't think about. it's true that acting can be more sustainable, especially because not everything is based on your appearance. i mean, looks and appearance overall still play a major role in acting, but you don't have to be young and energetic to play a certain character. whereas, in kpop, once you show signs of aging, you're kindly shown the exit. it's so sad because things don't have to be this way. especially with women, they always get unfair treatment, compared to men :( also, when a new group from the same company debuts, ggs begin to count the days until they have left. i talk from experience because a lot of ggs i liked back then disappeared completely once a new gg debuted.

ghibli movies are so good i wouldn't be able to choose just one. also, i think if i told you my favourite, you'd know who i am in a second. and i'd like to keep my identity a secret for a little while hehe little forest is a great movie. like you said, it's calming and chill. it's a movie for when you need to slow down.

i'm so glad we got a rv comeback 💖 i did listen to the album and my favourite songs are bamboleo and good, bad, ugly 💗 i keep repeating them. they're SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

question of the day: do you have any hobbies? or anything you do to unwind?

as usual, i hope you're having a good day (at least a better day than yesterday) and please take care 😘

from 🐘 anon

oh please thats so cute!!! you can just imagine me reading it with the biggest smile on my face! 🥰💘

yeah it’s been a pretty hard couple of days! my cat has been unwell and sadly he isn’t with me anymore and i miss him terribly :( but i’m just trying to stay busy and distracted and focus on things that make me happy <3 your messages make my days so much brighter so it was nice to get one today when i really needed it! thank you for all the hearts hehe 💕💖💞💗

ohhhh yeah i was so happy for brave girls!! their new song is so cute too! i hope they do well on queendom even though i think the show is gonna be kinda messy overall but rollin’ was a great song i’m glad it finally got the love it deserved! yeah not a lot of groups stand the test of time, especially female groups. usually when the company debut a new one they tend to make the older group take a backseat and you’re right it is totally unfair :(

ooo well even though i am super curious i will respect your wish to remain anonymous!💗 but yesss the rv comeback was really good i’m looking forward to the live stages and seeing all the cute outfits!! hopefully they will do a few special promotion stages for bamboleo since everyone seems to love that one too!

i wish i could say something really cool and interesting but my hobbies are probably that of a 15 year old boy lmao i really like watching football and playing video games! but i also enjoy watching asian dramas (thai and korean specifically) i feel like you might also watch korean dramas (correct me if im wrong ajshda) but i wonder if you’ve ever seen any thai ones? i have a whole sideblog dedicated to dramas and one for football too sadkjahsdak

thank you so much angel! my day could have definitely been better but your message really cheered me up! i hope you’re having a lovely day!💓💓