#hopefully i stay inspired to write bc currently i am STRUGGLING

[mysicklove]

writing the prequel to the big brother au rn 💅💅💅💅 (along with my other 2 fics in the works)

[manchair]

50 Question Tag

Shoutout to @tuanamino for indulging my vanity and tagging me in fun things like this! I only know like two people on here, so if you laid eyes on this post consider yourself cursed to receive endless middle school chain mail texts until you fill one of these bad boys out yourselves #makesomeinternetfriends

1) What takes too much of your time?

MCAT studying 😪

2) What makes your day better?

Ice cream. Going out with friends. Got7 comebacks! 

3) What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?

I binge-watched the new season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina with my sisters

4) What fictional place would you want to go to?

Idris from Cassandra Clare’s Shadowhunter books

5) Are you good at giving advice?

I like to think so. I try to dish out a good balance of logic and humor but I know I don’t always take my own advice, don’t @ me.

6) Do you have any mental illnesses?

Lol you mean besides the constant awareness of how cataclysmic the human experience is? Jk I probably have anxiety but nothing clinically diagnosed.

7) Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Luckily, my body is only problematic when I’m awake. It sounds terrifying so I hope I never do!

8) What musician has inspired you the most?

Halsey. Her albums have depicted our similar emotional development arcs and I pretty much worship the ground she walks on. Mad respect for kpop groups like BTS and GOT7 though, seeing as they have to go through so much extra shit in the Korean entertainment industry to achieve their dreams and that’s also mega inspiring.

9) Have you ever fallen in love?

“My first love was some insignificant boy when it should have been myself.”

10) What’s your dream date?

This one’s tough. Either a whole day at SixFlags or a beach trip somewhere exotic, just the two of us.

11) What do others notice about you?

My hair is pretty damn long. I was visiting family in LA once and a girl asked if it was real and that’s the most LA thing that’s probably ever happened to me

12) What is an annoying habit of yours?

Procrastination. Even I get annoyed with myself!

13) Do you still talk with your first love?

God no. The dude’s hella Mormon so he got married at 20 and is now happily appropriating Hawaiian culture. #goodriddance

14) How many ex’s do you have?

I’ve had several flings but I’ve yet to commit to anything official. High standards and what not. Zero for now, but Park Jinyoung can feel free to change that any time!

15) How many songs are on your playlist?

I’m an?? ENFP Libra?? I can’t?? Just have?? one playlist??!

16) What instrument(s) can you play?

None. I much prefer air guitar and bad singing. I did play the clarinet in 6th grade band though. Maybe learning drums would suit my personality?

17) Who do you have the most pictures of?

Friends, family, and various kpop boy memes

18) Where would you like to go before you die?

The shorter list would be where I WOULDN’T want to go. But I’d go visit any space colony. The International Space Station. All of Asia. Canada lol

19) What’s your zodiac?

Libra sun, Sagittarius moon, Capricorn rising

20) Do you relate to it?

Lmao yeah I’m def a Libra 

21) What is happiness to you?

Self-actualization. Books. Music. Dancing. Snacks. Writing. Learning. Being at peace.

22) Are you going through anything right now?

Sure, but isn’t everyone?

23) What’s the worse decision you’ve ever made?

I try to own my terrible decisions but I sorta dated a demon named Bryce in high school so there is that

24) What’s your favorite store?

I’m a sucker for Uniqlo but they don’t have one in my state *cue sobbing*

25) What’s your opinion on abortion?

I think people can be both politically pro-choice and morally pro-life. I think every woman should have the ability to make that decision for themselves.

26) Do you have a bucket list?

Not in a physical form, but yes in my head

27) Do you have a favorite album?

Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, Black Panther The Album, Got7′s Present: You album was def a GIFT, Kris Wu’s Antares has been in heavy rotation lately as has Bad Bunny’s X100PRE

28) What do you want for your birthday?

A medical school acceptance? To meet the love of my life? A billion dollars so I can pay off my student debt and see the world and give the rest away to struggling people? Too much??

29) What are most people’s first impression of you?

Lol that I don’t like them. I blame the RBF

30) What age do you seem according to most people?

People always think I’m like 19 because I’m always joking around and I ain’t mad bc it’s my favorite number anyway

31) Where do you keep your phone while you sleep?

On my bedside table made out of books bc I’m an intellectual

32) What word do you say the most?

“Dude.” (I’m sorry, I’m from southern California, I can’t help it)

33) What’s the oldest age you would date?

Probably 29? That’s a hard limit bc your 30′s just seem like a whole other universe to me rn

34) What’s the youngest age you would date?

Yikes. 20, but I’m much better suited for someone older than me, sorry boys 😎

35) What job/career do most people say suits you?

Writer, interestingly enough.

36) What’s your favorite music genre?

Depends on my mood! Most days it’s rap, hip hop/R&B, Spanish trap, pop, and kpop, but I still have my classical and indie throwback moments

37) If you could live in any country in the world, where would you live?

Wherever I feel the most at home. I’ll probably end up staying in the US but I definitely want to try living in Hong Kong or South Korea for a while

38) What is your current favorite song?

Wow. by Post Malone lol #guiltypleasure

39) How long have your had this blog?

Years but idk for sure and now that’s going to bug me??

40) What are you excited for?

A sky rise apartment in downtown Chicago. A Got7 concert. Financial and emotional stability lmao

41) Are you a better Talker or Listener?

Depends on the topic of conversation! If I’m invested, talker. 

42) What is the last productive thing you did?

I sent emails to set up meetings 😕 #adulting

43) What do you want for Christmas?

Whatever I don’t get for my birthday...? 😬😂

44) What class do you get the best grades in?

I can write papers in my sleep. English hands down.

45) On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel right now?

7. I have this killer sunburn and a stomach bug rn

46) What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully practicing as a fully licensed physician who works out and has time for hobbies on the side and is not burned out *crosses fingers*

47) When did you get your first heart break?

The first time my mom said she wished she’d never had children. #yayoversharingtime #thiswholepostisprobablyoversharingohwell

48) At what age do you want to get married?

I’m recently questioning the very institution actually! I��d refuse anything younger than 25 because the average human brain isn’t even fully developed until then and no way am I following anyone to the altar before that happens

49) What career did you want as a child?

Professional dancer, specifically prima ballerina

50) What do you crave right now?

A tuna sandwich from Porto’s Bakery back home. New Got7 or Halsey music. The ocean. 

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @youngmoneymilla for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Eliza, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

13

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I did love writing OC’s because I have a lot of fun with physical description. However, that was when I wasn’t aware of Reader Inserts since I just recently came back into the fanfic world. Reader Inserts are great because I have to work that much harder on giving them a backstory/personality and not focus at all on physical description. Plus, everyone gets to read the work and hopefully find themselves in it. The only thing I hate is being unable to use a name. I can’t write “Y/N” bc it bugs me haha.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Ummm Angst probably? I’m a huge horror fan so, I’m trying to incorporate that into more work.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“It Would Have Made it True” just because I didn’t really connect with it that much and the ending was rushed.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

11 am to 10 pm haha. I’m an asshole and write a lot during my job.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from? 

I have about a million fics bookmarked from over the years, literally fics from when I was in high school to now. They’re so gorgeously written and they inspire me to write. I pretty much only read non-fiction outside of fanfic so, that doesn’t really work.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Bathtub/Bedroom scene in the second part of “Bungalows and Baths”

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yep. In one fic, I included a descriptive characteristic for the reader that implied she was white. It hadn’t even occurred to me but, I immediately fixed it when someone pointed it out.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

Tossup between Bucky and Steve. Bucky has the very obvious trauma and grief that’s interesting to write about but, Steve has a lot of buried darkness that’s subtle and extremely intriguing.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Maybe Bruce? I don’t care that much for his character (despite the fact I love Hulk)

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories? 

A lot of the time, it’s a line that’s said throughout the narrative. However, I have a word doc filled with random quotes I like and I usually throw something together. I always think up the title at the end and it’s always an afterthought. Titles blow.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

I am currently writing a Bucky x Reader fic (TRYING TO AT LEAST) that is going to take the team to New Orleans. It’s going to involve vampires since I wrote a novella about vampires back in high school and want to re-explore that mythology. However, there is going to be a lot of twists and it won’t be an AU, it’s just introducing the possibility of vampires in the MC universe. The reader and Bucky will both be struggling with the idea of themselves as monsters and trying to help themselves through that. It’s going to be a lot of voodoo and magic and angsty “will they, won’t they”. I’m going off on a tangent now but, that’s the gist. I have not written an actual series in a long time so, this would be my first one.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

There are many half-filled one- page word docs on my desktop that are rotting away as we speak. I just get bored or think of something else.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’d love to do more fics with the same reader from Bungalows and Baths.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Lol I’m actually annoyed with how I ended 6 Times right now. Not sure why.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Omg I admire so many but, here are a few.

@bitsandbobsandstuff – obviously for her “Safe with Me” piece which is fantastic, emotional and well-paced. Pacing/keeping the reader on their toes is the hardest thing for me in a series and so, I really admire her ability to do that. I also LOVED her “A Million Invisible Threads” piece because it’s such a gorgeous character study on the Winter Soldier

@a-splash-of-stucky  – She’s the Queen of Angst duh and a GORGEOUS writer. I love her stuff. A Messed Up Place left me weak.

@imhereforbvcky – Her “Mirror for the Sun” fic inspired me to start writing from Bucky’s POV actually. She’s just a beautiful writer.

@tilltheendwilliwrite – I love everything she writes. I love all the mythology she brings to her fics while still staying within the Avengers universe. Her smut is on another level, too. I find myself rereading her stuff again and again.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Here and there. There are definitely moments in a fic where I think why did I keep that. It’s usually because I ended it too quickly or just wanted it over.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? 

I love music when I write fics. It’s all movie scores. I have a spotify playlist for it.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve cried (ish) when writing anything that has to do with alcohol/substance abuse. I’ve been in and out of AA for the past two years and have finally started recovery again. I also have depression so, writing about that can leave me raw. Writing truly always helps though.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

SMUT. Jesus Christ. I struggle so hard with making smut sound hot, as well as lyrical so, it can fit with the narrative. I don’t want to reuse anything I’ve used in other fics before or repeat words but, it’s SO hard (pardon the pun). I always forget what position they’re in and where the body parts need to go. It’s legitimately why I have yet to write a Stucky x Reader fic. I can’t introduce another person into my difficult SMUT journey.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? 

I usually have a general idea and I’ll have a very vague outline going. I just write everything out like word vomit and go back and edit.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction? 

That some of the best stories I’ve read aren’t necessarily the ones with the most likes or comments. I stumble upon stuff and wonder “HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE 2K LIKES”.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

That’s tough. Maybe the stuff I wrote in the beginning where I didn’t have many followers. I loved the concept of “You Don’t Mean for it to Happen” but, sometimes I want to rewrite the whole thing. I put a lot of myself into “I Think of You All the Time” but, I feel like that got some good traction. IDK.  Bungalows and Baths got a crazy amount of love. Did not expect that but, v grateful.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? 

Nope. I appreciate any love haha.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Well, I think it goes without saying that every reader character has a little bit of the author in there. I think I pull from some of my friends but, not really.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? 

Someone once said that their soul was marked by “Bungalows and Baths” which was amazing haha.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten criticism other than that time I screwed up on including a feature for a white reader. I felt terrible about that.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Not really. I don’t have people to share them with haha.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My best friend knows but, she doesn’t read fanfic. Shockingly, my mom and sister know but, I told them that they could never read them. I just share reviews with them. My mom likes to know that I’m staying creative.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written? 

Oh jeez idk if I have one. Natasha isn’t considered a minor character but, she usually plays a side character in my stories and she’s fun to write for.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Once I get started, I’m usually good at keeping it going. Music helps.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Probably slow burn romance or one of the lovers is injured/captured. I also am a huge sucker for love triangles because I’m greedy AF.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Lawl this might not have been the first one but, I read a Lizzie Mcguire SMUT piece when I was maybe in 6th grade and was severely chilled to the bone. I was trash even at 12.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I always write better when I’m emotionally distraught and tortured. Although as I get older, I realize this isn’t fabulous for my own mental health.

[furidojasutin]

Title: Caught between Honor and Heart - Tragic Ending

Pairing: Fraxus (Freed x Laxus)

Characters: Freed Justine, Ivan Dreyar, Laxus Dreyar

Rating: T

a/n: I... don’t know why this happened hA no actually I do, music but it did so... Have some angst. I rarely write angst bc I myself am not the biggest fan but I hope this will please some angst lobers out there, pfft. I highly recommend reading a bit slower and listening to >this< while doing soundtrack was what inspired me. More of this Knight/Prince Medieval AU: Part 1, Part 1,5, Part 2

The hall was dead silent. The only sound he registered was the beating of his heart and the soft sound his footsteps created when they made contact with the floor. He could feel their eyes burn on his skin, following his every movement. He didn't look down, instead held his head up high. He was not going to drop his pride, not even for one second.

Secretly, his eyes were seeking for one particular person in the hall. He knew Ivan planned to force him to watch... This cruel, cruel man. His stomach twisted sickly as he thought about leaving Laxus alone. He had failed him... He had failed Makarov... He had broken Ivan's rules more than once and while he was uncertain whether or not this mad king knew about his and Laxus intimate love he knew that this had not been the trigger for what was going to happen in a few minutes. All he had wanted to do was to make Laxus happier, stay tall for him when he was in rage or loneliness or sorrow and all because of this... this monster of a father, this monster of a King. But now it all found its ending... and not the one the two young men had hoped for.

His usual armor had been exchanged for a pathetic piece of fabric, sword not by his side and now Freed's breath got stuck in his throat. Breathing was suddenly harder as he came to a halt in the center of the large hall that was crowded with people all around him. His heart ached. He wasn't afraid of dying but he was afraid of leaving Laxus behind, of losing him. He didn't want to lose him.

Freed had yet to make out the familiar head of blond. He almost began to panic when he had a hard time recoginzing anyone really but that was before an all too familiar figure stepped out of the line of people before him with his disgusting grin. Oh he was going to enjoy this, wasn't he? No, he probably wasn't even going to do it himself, this coward, Freed thought and hardly felt himself gritting his teeth. They had probably been right to remove every weapon he possessed... but he was positive that it wouldn't stop him from reaching out and throttling the King right before him with his own hands if he did so much as to indicate that he would harm Laxus for the knight’s crime. He had broken the rules and influenced the prince, that's what Freed had told him after his own verdict had been decided on already. If he was to going to die then he would at least attempt to protect Laxus from following consequences to the best of his abilities.

"Sir Justine..." There was nothing but scorn in Ivan's ridiculous voice and he felt the new captain of the knights grip his wrists and pull his arms behind his back. Still afraid I'm going to harm anyone, huh? But a moment later Freed's focus was back on the face he disgusted so much. His heart roared at him to inquire after Laxus but... he could impossibly risk rising more suspicion, if that hadn't happen already, that is. He dearly hoped that it hadn't... If so... What was Ivan going to to to his son and the man Freed loved?

Rough fingers cupped the green-haired man's face, pressing against his cheeks in a hard almost painful grip. But he didn't care. This was nothing in comparison to the pain he was able to withstand, the pain he had experienced in countless battles, the pain he experienced in his heart at this very moment. Ivan moved closer and Freed could smell his foul breath. Their noses were almost touching and the knight's eyes narrowed to slits in challenge almost, chest heaving heavily in his hard breathing. "You should not have... broken my rules. Thinking you're smart enough to escape any consequences and drag my son into your disgusting business."

At first Freed's expression remained stern but when he heard the last statement he had troubles not to widen his eyes for a brief moment. Was that... Did that mean that...? Did Ivan know? About them? He dared to look aside but still couldn't spot Laxus and anew panic welled up within him. Perhaps he just didn't want to watch... Though he had been so certain that Ivan would force him to do so.

"I shall raise him to a glorious, powerful man. A true King."

"Oh I can be assured of one thing... He is going to be... a King ten times better than you are," Freed spit out between gritted teeth, eyes flaring and voice clear enough for everyone in the otherwise quiet hall to hear.

"You... Dirty, little bastard!"

Freed felt Ivan's nails dig into his skin and see the wrath in his eyes. He was well aware of what he had just said in front of his people. The truth. And this expression satisfied him. Lips curved into a bitter and somewhat devilish smirk when the King let go of his face and shouted for someone to bring in the sword. "A man who is unable to handle a simple truth will never be able to keep his people's respect, let alone rule a Kingdom. Laxus is the true King."

"Go to HELL!"

Freed only chuckled at the curse though his features twisted in pain when the man who had just fetched the sword aimed a hard punch at his stomach and the knight let out a groan in pain as he toppled to his knees. His bangs fell in front of his face and when he looked back up, his wrists tied up by now so the captain of knights could hold the weapon, there was ire burning in his gaze. This time however it got disregarded completely. All Ivan did was to send a nod towards his new captain before he walked back to his throne and seated himself on it. Oh he would indulge in seeing Freed's head drop on the floor...

But Laxus, where was Laxus? The green-haired male wasn't even certain if seeing him one more time would ease his pain or strengthen it but... He needed to see him, know that he was as alright as he could be in the current situation. Ivan's previous statement had caused more insecurity to form. What if he was going to punish Laxus more cruelly than ever? What if he was going to torture him? Laxus... please be safe...

Trying to ignore his hurting heart though not quite succeeding Freed dropped his head and felt how his long hair was being shoved out of the way for better access to his neck. Eyelids fell closed and he took a long breath. He had never been afraid of death... until he fell in love with Laxus.

The cold and familiar feel of metal pressed softly to his neck didn't do much to distract him. The only thing he wanted to focus on now was the man he loved before he fell, and hopefully with pride. He had his honor still. Tainted hands and a corrupted mind but loyalty to where it belonged, a heart at the right place and his honor. Do it already..., he thought and sucked in another breath as the moment seemed to stretch out far too long. But then, and at first Freed wasn't sure if it was just his mind playing tricks on him or reality, he heard someone shout.

"NO!"

Laxus? Heads turned everywhere and the man kneeling on the floor looked up just to see a head of blond hair storm through the left side of the crowd. Ivan spun around and Freed could hear him hiss in anger. Everything happened so fast. "Guards, stop him! Didn't I TELL you not to let him move?"

The prince was desperately trying to knock out every guard that crossed his path and tried to take a hold of him but even though his punches were forceful and accurate it was simply too much and he was weaponless. People stepped back, sounds of surprise and shock echoing through the hall. Some were covering their mouth with their palm, observing the scene in disbelief. Freed watched how Laxus sunk to his knees metres away from him and he could feel his heart twist painfully at the sight. Until now the blond had indeed been kept at bay somewhere in the room, forced to watch but not allowed to get close enough for this exact reason. Ivan knew that he would try to do something against the chosen punishment.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Despite being on his knees Laxus was still fighting against the two guards trying to hold him down, his expression desperate.

"Quiet and watch," Ivan commanded coldly, a strange madness flaming in his eyes. "The only bastard... is him." He pointed at Freed and that was the moment Laxus made eye-contact with the swordsman he had learned to love so dearly. "He broke my rules. And what... did I teach you about what happens to someone who breaks my rules?"

The prince didn't seem to listen at first. He was looking at Freed still, breath heavy and he saw how Freed tried to mouth something, 'Laxus, don't', but he didn't register it. Instead the blond now turned his head abruptly and snarled. "I don't care."

Ivan didn't pay attention anymore. Now that everything had come down to a moment of silence once again, finally, he gave the captain of knights the final nod. Laxus, forgive me..., Freed thought as he forcefully ripped his gaze away from the man that had captured his heart and soul wanting him to be the last thing he saw, Please be safe. I love you.

He closed his eyes, feeling a tear threatening to slip out of his left eye but he fought against it. The sounds of Laxus struggling and hearing the tone of his shouts become more desperate as he captain lifted the sword to prepare the final strike didn't help his own mess of feelings. The only wish Freed had now was for Laxus to stay safe. Please let him stay safe.

He squeezed his eyes shut, not able to stand this pain in the blond's voice, the anger gone entirely, but it was too late - with the sword's swift movement Ivan had taken away the last person Laxus held dear in his life and the prince cried out in agony as he realized that Freed was truly gone.