#hope you enjoy this new stuff i'm starting to sell you

[viky2318]

Chapter 1: awakening.

Silence.

Darkness.

Emptiness.

That was all the young monster felt before everything. It wasn't unsettling, nor concerning. After all, he never felt anything else before that. He didn't even exist. 

A scream.

A soul shouting in pain, as if it was getting ripped apart.

And then pain.

A horrible feeling in his chest, like a burning fire melting his bones.

He didn't even know how he knew that, but it felt terribly familiar despite having never experienced it. He jolted up, his eyes wide open and his hands instinctively going to the area that hurted. There was a hole between his ribs, aching terribly. He was filled with holes, everywhere between his many bones, but that specific one was out of place. His ribs were melting around that area. It was terribly painful. 

Someone spoke.

"Wh- D1?!?" a stuttering voice exclaimed. The skeleton turned to the other person in the room (how did he know that was a room?). A terrified, short, yellow lizard lady in a long white coat was looking at him through the thin semicircular lenses of her glasses. Who D1 was? Who was she? The skeleton breathed slowly, the hole in his chest hurting like crazy. A few seconds ago there was nothing, and now… there was everything. Where was he? What was going on?

…

Who was he?

The lizard spoke again, unsurely stepping closer. “o-oh gosh,- 

“Are you ok?”

Duo quickly sat up, tense. He took a few deep breaths, regaining control over his messy mind as he looked around. The young skeleton was sitting on the bed of his room, quiet as usual.

… A bad dream. It was just a bad dream. 

How weird. When was the last time Duo had a bad dream about that moment? Surely a long time ago. Why was it back? Nothing special happened recently that could bring back that memory.

Alphys…

“Duo?”

The skeleton turned to the source of the voice, only to see a 12 years old orange-eyed human with a big green scarf and a concerned look. “Yes, buttercup?” Duo asked the little girl. “Is everything alright? Paps said you weren't feeling fine and when I came in you were shaking!” she exclaimed. 

“... Oh”.

… Even Paps noticed it?

Geez, that really wasn’t normal.

“... Don't worry Kate. It was just a bad dream. Everything is fine now”, the skeleton told the girl with a quiet smile. “But tell me: what happened to your hair?” he then asked. The little human’s black hair was way messier than usual, and looked roughly cutted in a way that seemed to resemble some sort of sophisticated haircut. Kate looked away nervously, a small smile appearing on her face. “uhh- well… I was bored, and in one of Uncle Blooky’s books there were a lot of super cool characters with really nice hair aaand… I tried to come up with something similar. But it didn’t come out as expected”. The skeleton raised a nonexistent brow. “Are you talking about that silly comic- how was it? ‘Mew Mew’ something…”. The girl huffed. “No! ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie’ is an Anime! It was ‘The Hero College’, which is way cooler!” she exclaimed, almost sounding serious. Duo chuckled. “oh, I see. Sorry buttercup, you’re the nerd here”, he apologized. “Now, let’s fix this mess”.

A few hours (and a lot of patience) later, the young girl had a more recognizable V-cut (shorter hair on the back and longer on the front). It surely wasn’t the best since Duo wasn’t a hairdresser, but it was better than the mess that there was before on the girl’s head. The girl was joyful nonetheless. She felt so happy she didn’t even notice she phased through a small blue-ish ghost monster while practically jumping out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. Said ghost, Napstablook, looked at her with a little confusion before turning to Duo and realizing what looked different in her. “Oh… You cut her hair?” they asked quietly. “yeah. Never gonna do that again”, the skeleton replied as he took the broom (he knew he would have needed it so he left it nearby) and started cleaning up all the small hair from the floor. the ghost tilted their head, frowning a little. “Why is that so? Kate looked so happy…”. The skeleton smiled, then replied: “She’s happy like she had never been, but my backbone surely isn’t as joyful. She’s so short, even while standing up…”. “Oh… you could have asked me to help you…” Napstablook commented, taking the dustpan. “I’ll remember it the next time she decides to turn her head into a bird nest”, the skeleton replied. The two monsters quickly cleaned up the floor, then threw away the hair and went into the living room. There, Kate was joyfully chatting with another monster, an incorporeal floating skeleton head that, to reply, turned himself into floating words. The moment the skeleton and the ghost entered the room, the incorporeal monster greeted them joyfully with a “good day to you!” that only Duo heard but with a big write in a nice font that both the two saw. “Hi Paps, how are you?”, the skeleton asked. The four started chatting quietly, the usual morning little discussions: how you slept, how are you, what did you dream, and so on. Duo, as almost always, avoided sharing his dream by saying he didn’t remember. It was 10:30 already. It was the first time the skeleton overslept. He usually woke up earlier than the others. After some time Napstablook left, as they couldn’t leave the family farm for too long. As usual, Kate asked if she could come with them and, as usual, Napstablook replied with a quiet “maybe another day”. Truth to be told, the little ghost wasn’t really sure if it was a good idea to bring her there. Not because she could mess around, but because she would probably get bored in a moment- snail farms weren’t really an exciting activity. The young human then went on the table and fed the pet rock, then sat down and started drawing something. Duo sat at the table as well, but for completely different reasons: he was studying the Barrier. Every week he headed to New Home and collected data of that magic shield that kept them trapped Underground, then brought his results at home and tried to understand exactly how it worked, how it was made, and most importantly how to take it down. Kate loved the Underground with all of her soul, but she had a family waiting for her on the surface. Neither Duo or Paps wanted her to live her entire life down there.

No one would like living forever in that massive graveyard.

Because that was what the Underground was now: a silent, immense grave. The four were the only beings down there. The other monsters were gone almost a year ago. Thankfully, it happened before Kate’s arrival. Duo wouldn’t have had any idea of how to explain to her the disappearance of hundreds of souls in a single month by the hand of another human.

Duo worked nearly everyday on the Barrier. there weren’t many other things he could do. He knew nearly everything that was already known about it, which wasn’t much. It was a giant sphere that surrounded the whole Underground made of pure human magic, a kind of magic that was based purely on their souls and therefore extremely powerful. It could be crossed only in one direction: from outside to inside. To go through it from inside, from what was known, you needed the power of a human and a monster soul. Not just that, the two souls needed to be fused together. Duo and Paps, for a little while, evaluated the option of giving up on their soul to let Kate go out, but then concluded that the little human was too sweet to let anyone die for her sake. The young skeleton studied the barrier carefully, considering any possible way to take it down or to at least let Kate go through safely…

But to no avail.

… -For now! Duo wasn’t planning to give up any time soon. He would have found a solution one way or another!

… Hopefully.

-No! There was nothing to worry about! He could handle this! There must be a solution!

He simply had to search more.

The day went on as usual. Nothing special happened. They went walking at Waterfall in the afternoon, paid a visit to Blooky and then, around 8:30 pm, went back home. Dinner, bed story for Kate, and then downstairs back at work. Paps always told him it wasn’t healthy for him to work late, but Duo either didn’t listen or told him it wasn’t a problem. The skeleton could stay up until midnight without getting tired. When he finally started to feel tired, he piled up his papers in a well ordered pile on the table, went upstairs and on his bed, careful to not wake Kate up in the meanwhile.

That same routine repeated everyday, for nearly one whole year and until the skeleton would find a solution to his problem.

Or this was what he thought.

FIRST NEXT

[justabigassnerd]

Secrets and Their Burdens

Pairing - Tim Bradford x reader

Word count - 21.8K

Warnings - inaccurate police & FBI scenes, drugs, needles, addiction, nausea, mentions of throwing up, angst, kidnapping, swearing, Graceland spoilers, alcohol, guns, murder

Summary - after an undercover mission gone wrong, you are forced to hide a secret from Tim until his curiosity (and jealousy) get the better of him

A/N - hey y'all! I'm so sorry it's been so long since I last posted a fic, I truly have no excuse other than the fact that this fic just ended up being so much longer than I expected (genuinely I'm sorry for the length). like I mentioned before, this is a crossover fic with the tv show Graceland so tbh I'm not expecting this fic to do very well I literally wrote this for me (but I'm more than willing to answer any questions people may have about it). I did have a lot of fun writing it though and I do kinda hope y'all enjoy it too. as per y'all please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Being an FBI agent wasn’t the easiest job in the world, especially when a large chunk of your life was spent lying while undercover with some of the most dangerous people in Los Angeles. You had moved into a mixed agency house called Graceland and had quickly formed strong relationships with everyone who lived there. As well as working undercover, you were also in regular contact with the LAPD and found yourself getting familiar with the officers of Mid-Wilshire Police Station, especially Tim Bradford who you had formed a close friendship with despite your attempts to keep some distance between the two of you due to the nature of your job.

“Agent l/n. What brings you here?” You turn around at the sound of Tim’s voice, a smile on your face as he approaches.

“Briggs has got me undercover with some drug dealers who deal with Caza Cartel stuff but there’s this new dealer called Odin whose drugs are hitting the street. I’m here trying to find out if you guys have arrested anyone who deals with Odin’s stuff.” You explain, arms folding across your chest as you watch Tim’s reaction, his eyebrows furrowing slightly in concern.

“Should we be worried about Odin?” Tim asks, not missing how you sighed, your eyes flicking to the floor for a brief second before looking back up at him.

“I’m not sure. Mike is undercover with a bigger drug lord, one we’re trying to coax into starting a new deal with Odin. We’re hoping Odin will show himself at a meet with Bello. Other than that we’re trying our best to target your average back alley dealer to see if they can get us a meet.” You say, feeling guilty that you had no other information. It frustrated you to no end that no one could get any information on Odin and what his plans were. All you knew was that Odin’s drugs were dangerous, and people would die if they weren’t careful, especially when the Caza Cartel figured out that there was a new supplier in town.

“Well, I can help you check our records if you want?” Tim offers, watching as you shake your head softly.

“You got in just after I finished checking, none of the guys you arrested have a clue who Odin was nor did they sell Caza stuff. Just run-of-the-mill drug dealers.” You shrug, sighing as you drop your hands to your sides.

“Hey, if I find anything. You’ll be the first to know.” Tim vows, noticing your dejected expression at getting nowhere with your investigation.

“Thank you, Tim. Anything you might find would really help and I’d appreciate it a lot.” You say, your smile making a small return as Tim returns with a smile of his own.

“Tim, Grey wants us to assist on a call.” Lucy gently interrupts, her gaze flicking between you and Tim as you look over at her.

“Got it.” Tim nods at Lucy before looking back over at you.

“Be safe out there. I don’t want the next time I see you to be in a hospital.” You say with a friendly wink as Tim nods with a soft laugh.

“You too. I’ll see you around. Hopefully not in a hospital.” Tim replies, his tone becoming lighter and becoming a joking tone as he nods before you make your way past Tim to leave the station while Tim watches you make your way out.

“You totally have a crush on her,” Lucy says quickly, making Tim’s head snap around to look at her, a shocked expression on his face.

“No, I do not!” Tim insists, his voice getting slightly higher at the accusation, all while Lucy folds her arms across her chest, an eyebrow raising as she studies Tim’s reaction.

“Okay, sure you don’t,” Lucy says, amused by how her training officer had reacted to her words and vowing to keep bugging him until he admits it.

“Anyone home?” You call through the house as soon as you enter, glancing around as you make your way inside.

“Yo!” You hear Jakes call back, following his voice into the kitchen where he is filling a glass with orange juice.

“Anything fun on the agenda today?” You ask, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

“Just still dealing with my smuggled bird's case. It’s got to be one of the longest cases I’ve worked and I still can’t figure out how I feel about it.” Jakes complains, leaning against the island as he takes a sip from his juice.

“At least you’re saving birds. They didn’t ask to be smuggled.” You say with a light shrug, laughing as Jakes rolls his eyes.

“You’re way too optimistic. You’re like a Johnny 2.0.” Jakes fires back as you laugh.

“Technically speaking I’m older than Johnny so shouldn’t Johnny be y/n 2.0.?” You question, grinning at Jakes as he scoffs, downing his drink before putting his glass in the sink and walking off just as Mike enters the kitchen still in his wetsuit and hair visibly wet from his morning in the sea.

“Where were you? You missed out on some good waves.” Mike comments, opening one of the cupboards and grabbing the bread, taking two slices and putting them in the toaster as you sigh lightly.

“I headed over to Mid-Wilshire to see if they had any recent arrests that could connect us to Odin but they all seemed to be dead ends.” You say, looking down to focus on the glass in your hands.

“Nothing?” Mike queries, grabbing a plate and the butter while waiting for the bread to toast.

“Unfortunately. But Tim said he’d let me know if they arrest someone who may be of interest.” You say, missing how Mike’s eyes widened slightly at the mention of Tim’s name as an amused smile crossed his face.

“Tim’s definitely got a soft spot for you,” Briggs says with a laugh as he enters the kitchen, also clad in a wetsuit and clearly having heard the last thing you said as you roll your eyes.

“No, he doesn’t.” You deflect, feeling your cheeks heat up as you turn away from the two so you can wash your glass and leave it to dry on the rack.

“Something tells me you have a soft spot for him too.” Briggs teases, crossing to you, slinging his arm around your shoulder and jostling you, ignoring your groan at the dampness of his wetsuit against your clothes.

“He’s a nice guy. He’s helped me on more than one occasion of course I’m going to be nice to him.” You huff, shrugging Briggs’ arm off you as he laughs. You had learned to deal with Briggs’ joking, he had quickly become an older brother figure to you when you joined Graceland. Plus he was the senior agent within the house so it wasn’t like you could get rid of him easily anyway.

“All we’re saying is there’s nothing wrong with liking him. I mean he’s a cop anyway so it’s not like you have to lie to him about your career like you’d have to with anyone else.” Mike says, a slight sadness flashing across his face at the thought of Abby and how he had to lie to her repeatedly about his life.

“You guys can believe I have feelings for Tim but you’re wrong. I was trying to see if they had any links to Odin and Tim offered to let me know if he found anything and that’s it. I promise.” You insist, folding your arms across your chest and leaning against the kitchen counter as Mike and Briggs exchange a look.

“Well, you keep believing that. I’m going to get ready, I’m spending the day with Bello, hopefully, he’ll take our bait and want to set up a meet with Odin after what happened with the Caza torpedo.” Mike says after a mouthful of toast, pointing at you as you roll your eyes at his first sentence.

“I can act as a middleman if Bello wants. You know I’ve already got a cover with him so it would be no water off my back.” Briggs says simply, crossing over to Mike, taking the second slice of toast off Mike’s plate and beginning to eat it despite Mike’s protests. Just before you can respond, one of the burner phones in your pocket rings and you pull it out, sighing as you recognise the number, holding up a finger to silence the bickering between Briggs and Mike as you step away to answer the call.

“What’s up?” You say into the phone, moving to stand near the large windows overlooking the beach, watching as the world goes by.

“Yo, y/n, I’ve been running low on stuff lately and the people from Caza are basically refusing to send it to me, saying something like I’ve been playing them or some bullshit. I need to go to Mexico to meet with some guys there and I’d feel much better having you come with me, I mean you’re badass and can hold your own. Can you come?” You hear the familiar voice of Luca ask, rambling as he fights to contain his nerves. You knew Luca had been rising the ranks among drug dealers and that could’ve been part of the reason why Caza asked him to meet face to face. You had a slight bad feeling grow in your stomach as you think over his question, worrying about what might happen to you but after a minute or two of silent debate, you push the bad feeling aside to prioritise the mission.

“I’ll come.” You say finally, hearing the relieved sigh from the other end of the line.

“Can you get over to mine as soon as possible? We need to hit the road as soon as we can.” Luca asks and you nod slightly before remembering he can’t see you.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get there as quickly as I can.” You say, listening as Luca thanks you quickly before abruptly hanging up, leaving you staring out the window with the phone in hand.

“Is everything okay?” You hear Mike ask, turning to face the two who are watching you worriedly.

“Luca’s got a meeting with Caza in Mexico and he’s asked me to come with him.” You say, not missing how Briggs and Mike exchanged a look between them.

“You better be careful out there. If Caza brings Jangles you get out of there before anything goes wrong.” Briggs says, striding towards you and placing his hands on your shoulders so he could look you in the eyes.

“I know. I’ll be careful.” You say softly, offering Briggs a small smile to reassure him that you’ll be okay.

“I expect regular contact from you every day you’re gone just so we can confirm you’re okay. Does that sound like a plan?” Briggs continues, folding his arms across his chest, letting his protectiveness seep into his voice.

“That’s fine, I can do that. I’ll only have this burner phone with me but I’ll contact you when I get a chance to. Promise.” You swear, watching Briggs carefully as he drops his chin to his chest, sighing softly.

“You better go get ready, huh? We’ll see you off.” Briggs says quietly, looking up at you and smiling softly as you nod. You then head upstairs to your room, dig out some clothes to wear, pack a small bag and make sure you have your gun and ammo as well as conceal your FBI badge and ID deep in your bag just in case you need it at all. When you’re satisfied that you have everything you need, you make your way back down the stairs and see Briggs and Mike waiting with small smiles on their faces.

“Don’t let the house fall apart without me, boys.” You tease, continuing to push your worry aside to appear confident in front of your friends.

“We’ll try our best,” Mike replies, bringing you in for a hug.

“Also I better not miss out on sauce night. I might never recover if I do.” You joke as you pull away from the hug, looking from Mike to Briggs.

“You know Charlie could never hold sauce night without everyone in attendance. Don’t worry.” Briggs says, tugging you into a hug of his own.

“That’s a relief. I guess I’ll see you guys in a week or so.” You say with a small smile, adjusting your bag and leaving Graceland, taking a deep breath as you exit the house before you make your way in the direction of Luca’s house.

After three days, you stopped communicating.

“Have you heard anything from y/n?” Briggs asks early one morning when he notices everyone gathered in the kitchen as Johnny makes pancakes. Briggs feels anxiety clawing at his stomach when he gets nothing but shaking heads and murmuring ‘no’s’ in response.

“I thought she said she’d message you daily?” Mike asks, his attention drawn from watching Johnny to where Briggs is standing.

“She hasn’t messaged me in a couple of days. I thought there’d be a chance she messaged one of you guys instead.” Briggs says worriedly, watching as everyone slowly realises that something may be wrong.

“She’s not said a thing to anyone?” Charlie asks, her jaw clenching when she sees everyone continuing to shake their heads.

“Okay well, we gotta get the cops involved, right?” Johnny asks, shutting the stove off, abandoning the pancakes and glancing from person to person.

“We definitely have to contact the police in Mexico and see if they can find someone fitting her description. I’ll go down there myself and oversee any investigation.” Briggs starts, and everyone begins to scramble into action.

“I’ll head to some of the local stations around here. If y/n ends up stateside without contacting us I’d feel better knowing that the LAPD are on the lookout for her as well.” Charlie says, grabbing her jacket and tugging it on.

“I’ll do the same. We can cover more stations that way.” Paige says, rushing to grab all her belongings so she can head out.

“I’ll go to the Bureau and report this. I’ll let them know what we’re all doing.” Mike says as he gestures for Johnny to follow him.

“Jakes, do you think you could get ICE involved? Keep an eye on people coming out of the border, especially if there’s someone who matches Luca’s description.” Briggs asks, pointing at Jakes who nods quickly, grabs his phone, and dials a number on his phone before getting up and moving away for some quiet. After everyone figures out what they’re going to do, they all rush out of Graceland, making their separate ways to start searches for you.

Charlie was the one to enter Mid-Wilshire, immediately making a beeline for Grey’s office, her urgency catching the attention of Tim and Lucy as they stood near Angela’s desk, listening to her explain the details of a case she had been working on.

“Agent DeMarco, can I help you?” Grey asks as Charlie enters the office, glancing up from his computer as she enters.

“One of our agents has gone missing. She went to Mexico undercover just over a week ago and we haven’t received any communication from her in a few days.” Charlie starts, explaining the situation as Grey raises an eyebrow.

“Respectfully Agent DeMarco, if someone has gone missing in Mexico, surely you should be contacting the Mexican police? We don’t have jurisdiction in other countries.” Grey asks, leaning back in his chair as Charlie sighs, crossing her arms.

“Briggs is already covering that front. We just want to make as many stations in LA aware. If y/n somehow ends up stateside and for some reason has no way to contact any of us at Graceland, I’d feel better knowing the LAPD are keeping an eye out for her.” Charlie explains further, watching as Grey nods slowly.

“I see. Well, we can get an APB out for her, but again since she went missing in Mexico we can only cover LA. But we will do what we can.” Grey says as Charlie nods.

“We’ll take any help we can get. We’re just worried about her.” She admits, fiddling with her fingers as a way to channel her anxiety. After giving Grey a description of you as well as the information she knew about Luca just in case he reappeared without you, Charlie exits Grey’s office, almost walking straight into Tim who had begun to mingle near the office.

“Agent DeMarco, is everything okay?” Tim asks, his hands resting on his gun belt as he watches Charlie shake her head.

“y/n is missing,” Charlie says, noticing how quickly Tim tensed up, his mouth dropping open slightly in shock as he tried to figure out a way to respond.

“You’re sure she’s missing?” Tim asks quickly, stammering and falling over his words, hoping that it was nothing more than a cruel prank being played on him.

“Positive. She promised Briggs that she’d be in contact daily and she hasn’t contacted any of us for a couple of days now.” Charlie says, explaining to Tim what she had just told Grey moments ago.

“Is there anything we can do? There has to be something, right?” Tim asks desperately watching for any kind of response from Charlie who just shrugs.

“There’s not much that can be done from here. The LAPD doesn’t have any kind of jurisdiction outside of LA but Briggs is in Mexico trying to start some sort of investigation but we’re just asking the LAPD to keep an eye out for her in case she somehow ends up back in LA without any of us knowing.” Charlie says simply, missing how Tim gritted his teeth, bowing his head in frustration.

“If you need any help. I’m more than willing to help.” Tim offers, looking back up at Charlie who offers Tim a soft smile.

“Thank you,” Charlie says softly, her smile encouraging Tim to give her a smile of his own, albeit forced. Charlie then carefully dismisses herself, making her way out of Mid-Wilshire station to go to the next station, leaving Tim standing in the middle of the room alone.

“Tim, what’s going on?” Lucy asks, approaching Tim after having watched his and Charlie’s interaction from afar.

“y/n’s missing.” Is all Tim can bring himself to say, unable to remove his gaze from the door Charlie had just left through.

“What? How do they know? Can we help at all?” Lucy asks, worry crossing her face as Tim finally turns to face her, shaking his head solemnly.

“There’s not much we can do. She went missing in Mexico. We’ve only been told to just keep an eye out for her in case she somehow ends up stateside without anyone in Graceland knowing.” Tim says, watching as Lucy fights back a frown.

“There has to be something, right? I mean you went to Guatemala to save Angela.” Lucy says, trying to come up with something that they could do to help you.

“That was to save one of our own and even then it was hard to convince Grey to let us go along with that plan. We won’t be able to get involved unless the Feds want us involved.” Tim says with a shake of his head, knowing just how impossible it would be to try and get involved. Despite that, he began to think, a single idea coming to mind before suddenly walking off, leaving Lucy confused and standing alone.

At a gas station, Briggs was filling his Bronco up with gas when his phone began to ring, and he quickly dug in his pocket, his heart pounding as he pulled the phone out of his pocket, hoping you were on the other end of the phone when he didn’t recognise the number.

“Hello?” Briggs asks, unusually anxious as he awaits an answer from the other end.

“Agent Briggs, it’s Officer Tim Bradford.” Briggs couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of disappointment at the voice. He had no ill feelings towards Tim, he just wished it had been you calling, telling him you were okay.

“Officer Bradford, what can I do for you?” Briggs asks, leaning against his Bronco as he stares up at the sky from behind his sunglasses. He found it unusually cruel for the day to be so sunny and cheerful when you were missing.

“I heard about y/n being missing and I want to help,” Tim says, pacing back and forth anxiously as he talks. He denied it to anyone who brought it up but he did harbour feelings for you, and you being missing and potentially hurt made his heart hurt.

“Respectfully, this isn’t really an LAPD matter. We only informed you guys just in case she ends up stateside.” Briggs starts, trying to let Tim down gently.

“I don’t care. I want to do what I can to help y/n.” Tim demands, ceasing in his pacing as his voice raises slightly, causing Briggs to raise his eyebrows slightly in impressed shock. He knew Tim cared for you, but now he was getting to see the protectiveness Tim had for you, a side neither man knew he harboured for you.

“Look man, I don’t know what your boss will say about it but if you really want to help me… I won’t stop you. I’m just filling my car up for the journey, you can meet me here and we can head to Mexico together.” Briggs finally says, respecting Tim’s drive to help and deciding that ultimately it would be safer if he and Tim teamed up as opposed to working separately.

“Where are you? I’ll swing by as soon as I can.” Tim asks, already prepping a lie about a family emergency as Briggs lets him know which gas station he is at. With Briggs’ location shared, Tim hung up the phone, ready to leave the station.

It took Tim about half an hour to get to the gas station Briggs was at after leaving the station. He had to make a quick pit stop home to pack a bag and call Genny to ask if she could look after Kojo while he was gone, letting her know where his spare key was so she could swing by whenever she could to collect him. As soon as Tim was confident he was sorted, he walked to the gas station, quickly recognising Briggs who gestured him over.

“Thanks for letting me tag along. I just feel so useless sitting by and doing nothing.” Tim thanks Briggs as they shake hands.

“Glad to see you care about y/n. But I do have to lay down some ground rules. I’m in charge here. What I say goes no matter what. I also trust you can look after yourself. Technically speaking you’re not supposed to be here and I don’t want you getting hurt or killed on my watch.” Briggs says as the two make their way towards his car.

“Of course, whatever you say goes,” Tim says with a nod, getting into the passenger seat while Briggs gets behind the wheel and begins the journey to Mexico.

The journey to Mexico was long, and Briggs and Tim weren’t quite sure how to hold a conversation together other than talking about how to try and find you. By the time they had made it to Mexico, they’d managed to set a game plan on how they’d go about starting the investigation when they made it to the police station nearest to where you had been. Upon arriving at the police station, both Briggs and Tim exit the vehicle making their way into the building and approaching the front desk. Briggs strikes up a conversation in Spanish with the officer working at the front desk while Tim stands back, listening carefully to what is being said. When the officer finds out that they’ve come from LA, he begins to talk in English, figuring it would be easier.

“So, you said you had a missing agent, huh?” The officer asks after introducing himself as Miguel as he leads the two men through the station.

“That’s correct, she told me she was in the area for a meeting with a Caza member and she’s failed to get into contact with us for a couple of days,” Briggs confirms, nodding as they reach a desk.

“I see. Well, I’ll get some men to call around local coroners offices and hospitals, so if you could give me a description and a name that would be helpful.” Miguel then says, glancing at Briggs who nods, giving him a full description of you and your name while Tim’s jaw tightens, eyes squeezing shut as he envisions you hurt or dead somewhere. Once Briggs gives out all the needed information, Miguel excuses himself to make some calls.

“We should start searching the area, right?” Tim asks the moment the two of them are left alone.

“We probably shouldn’t do anything without an okay from the Federales,” Briggs says, turning to look at Tim who watches Briggs, confused.

“She could be out there. Hurt. Alone. Afraid. And you’re just going to wait?” Tim asks incredulously staring at Briggs, shocked.

“y/n is tougher than you think. If she’s out there she’ll be able to handle herself. You agreed that you’d listen to everything I say and I’m saying we wait until the Federales say we can, and they’d be able to help us since they have more knowledge of the area.” Briggs says firmly, turning to face Tim properly. Both men stand face to face, Tim’s jaw clenching further as he glares at Briggs. Now that they were in Mexico, Tim’s agreement to listen to Briggs’ words went out the window. Tim was too worried about you and wanted nothing more than to just get out onto the streets and look for you. He was frustrated that Briggs was willing to break the rules enough to let him tag along but then the moment they could do any investigation he suddenly wanted to wait. Deep down, Tim knew Briggs was being rational, and that it would be best for them to get information from the Federales about where they could begin to look, but that rational thought was overtaken by Tim’s burning drive to find you and get you back to LA safe.

After some painful minutes of pacing and waiting for anyone to help, Miguel returned with his phone in hand.

“There is no one matching her description or name in any hospitals or morgues.” He informs the two, watching as Tim lets out a slight sigh, relieved to hear that you weren’t dead in a morgue anywhere. But you were still missing.

“Okay, so what’s our next play? We gotta get out on the streets and look for her, right?” Tim asks, looking between Briggs and Miguel, eyes searching desperately for an answer.

“That would be the next course of action, yes. You said she came for a meeting with Caza, correct?” Miguel asks, turning to Briggs who nods quickly to confirm.

“Yeah, someone she was undercover with was invited for a meeting with Caza. I don’t think either of them knew what they were getting into but if Jangles was involved…” Briggs trails off, eyes squeezing shut as he envisions what could’ve happened to you if Jangles was involved.

“Jangles? Who’s Jangles?” Tim asks worriedly, noticing the increased tension in the room.

“We call him ‘El Hombre Llave’ here.” Miguel says, looking over at Tim who only grows more confused.

“The Key Man?” Tim translates the name easily, but still not fully understanding the significance of the name.

“Named as such because he’s known for carrying around the keys of his victims. Us Feds call him Jangles on account of the sound of all those keys jangling. He’s Caza’s attack dog, if there’s someone they don’t like, don’t trust. There’s a high chance Jangles will come after them.” Briggs explains further, noticing how Tim grew more worried at what was said.

“You’re telling me that there’s potentially a killer out there after y/n? And I’m only finding this out now?” Tim asks, dumbfounded as he watches the two men carefully.

“Look, man, you’re not FBI so you didn’t know about Jangles and I was, and still am, hoping he wasn’t involved. For y/n’s sake more than anything.” Briggs explains, holding his hands up to try and keep the peace between the two of them.

“So, you were just planning on not telling me about the fact that this cartel has a guy they send to do their dirty work?” Tim asks, his voice raising as he addresses Briggs, completely thrown by the fact that Briggs was willing to keep such a vital piece of information from him when it would’ve been useful to know earlier, especially when a person of interest was dubbed as an ‘attack dog’ for the cartel you were investigating.

“Do I need to remind you of the rules we established? I’m in charge and I don’t have to tell you shit.” Briggs says firmly, stepping closer to Tim, the two men standing in a face-off.

“Whoa, please calm down you two. We need to focus on finding your agent.” Miguel says quickly, gaining the attention of both men as they back down, although still continuing to glare at each other.

“You’re right. Is there anywhere we can start our search?”

After three days of searching, Briggs and Tim found no clues to your whereabouts and the Federales began to draw the line, saying that the search efforts may be in vain. Neither man wanted to give up but they also knew they couldn’t keep wasting resources and police time. After the three days had passed, the two men were forced to return to LA, empty-handed and dejected. When Briggs made it back to Graceland, he saw the hopeful expressions that were quickly shot down by the shake of his head. Despite the failed search in Mexico, Tim continued to keep an eye out for you on his patrols, hoping you’d miraculously turn up.

Four days after Briggs and Tim returned to LA. You turned up at Graceland.

You stumbled into the house, pale, clammy, and shivering, but you were home. You made an immediate beeline for the kitchen, your throat screaming for water. You could barely focus on what was around you as you fumbled for a glass, knocking some things over as you tried to turn the water on to fill your glass. Once the glass was half filled with water, you turned the tap off, took a quick refreshing sip of water and made your way to the couch, placing the glass down before collapsing on the couch, letting out the smallest sighs of relief at the familiar comfort of the cushions. Just after your eyes slipped closed, you heard the familiar sounds of someone coming down the stairs, and whoever it was, wasn’t doing the best job at attempting to be stealthy. Your eyes peeled open as you looked over at your shoulder, smiling weakly when you locked eyes with Johnny who paused on the stairs as he stared at you, gun in hand.

“You know there’s no guns downstairs Johnny.” You laugh with a wince as a spark of pain shoots through you.

“y/n? Holy shit.” Johnny says, immediately putting his gun down and rushing over to you.

“Hey Johnny.” You say weakly as Johnny sits on the couch alongside you, pulling you into his arms for a hug.

“Where the hell have you been, girl?” Johnny asks, cradling your head against his chest, letting out the smallest sigh of relief that you’re alive.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m home now.” You whisper, clinging to Johnny, wincing slightly as you adjust yourself.

“We gotta get you to a hospital.” Johnny suddenly says, pulling away as you shake your head, ignoring the lightheadedness that comes with it.

“No. No, I’m fine. No hospitals Johnny. Please.” You plead quietly, watching Johnny carefully as he falls silent, debating what he should do before he sighs softly and nods.

“Okay. No hospitals.” He concedes, looking at you as you smile.

“Thank you. I just need a shower and a nap I’m sure I’ll be fine in no time.” You say, laughing lightly as you gesture at yourself to lightly mock your appearance.

“I wasn’t going to say anything but..” Johnny says cheekily, laughing as you roll your eyes, bracing your hands either side of yourself and easing yourself up onto your feet, wincing once more at the spark of pain that flies through you.

“Hey, I got you,” Johnny says quickly, leaping to his feet, wrapping one of your arms around his middle and helping you up the stairs, guiding you carefully up to your room so he could help you grab some clean clothes and a towel before helping you to the bathroom.

“I got it from here, Johnny. Thank you.” You say gratefully as you stop outside the door to the bathroom.

“If you need me just shout. I’m going to contact the others and let them know you’re home.” Johnny says, carefully helping you unwind your arm from around him, letting you go with a smile. When you enter the bathroom and lock the door you instantly turn the shower on, letting it warm up while you strip down, catching sight of your battered and bruised body, looking at each injury in turn until your eyes land on the bruises on the inside of your arm, biting back tears when you look at them. You spend a few minutes staring at the bruises before you bring yourself back to reality and get into the shower. You relax as the hot water rushes over you, the water slowly dyeing pink as you scrub the blood, both dried and wet off your body. You scrub at every inch of you, a desperate attempt to cleanse yourself of what you had been through over the last few days. After a long shower, you get into your sweatpants and loose shirt, heading to your room to throw your stuff into your laundry basket before grabbing a hoodie to hide your injuries even more. Once you were changed you once more caught sight of yourself in the mirror and you couldn’t help but wince slightly at how pale and clammy you looked. All you could do was hope you’d be able to play it up to what you had been through. Shaking your head lightly with a sigh, you head downstairs where Johnny is in the kitchen cooking.

“Cooking are we?” You ask teasingly, leaning against the wall by the stairs to the kitchen as a wave of nausea hits you.

“You don’t look like you’ve eaten much recently. Plus, I know you’ve been missing my cooking.” Johnny says, looking over at you and shooting you a quick wink, his smile faltering slightly when he sees how rough you look.

“Hey, why don’t you relax on the couch? The others should be back soon.” Johnny says, his hand hovering over the handle of the pan as he debates abandoning the food to help you over to the couch.

“I might do that, yeah.” You mumble, easing yourself away from the wall and making your way over to the couch, lying across it, shoving a cushion under your head and lying an arm across your eyes to shield them from the bright sunlight coming from the large windows. You squeeze your eyes shut in another attempt to close the overwhelming light out. After about ten minutes of lying on your back, listening to Johnny humming to himself as he cooks, you hear the front door fly open.

“Is she here?” You hear Briggs say, calling through the house, making your eyes peel open as you prop yourself up on your elbows smiling weakly over at Briggs.

“Over here.” You call over, your voice weak but Briggs hears you, rushing over and pulling you into a tight hug.

“Didn’t realise you’d missed me that much.” You then say, attempting to keep your voice light as Briggs hugs you tighter, making you wince silently but not wanting to break the embrace.

“You’re family y/n, of course, I missed you,” Briggs says softly, kissing the top of your head affectionately.

“I missed you guys too.” You reply, listening to Briggs’ rapid heartbeat begin to slow as he holds you close.

“You look like shit, is everything okay?” Briggs asks worriedly, pulling away slightly to take in your rough appearance as you laugh weakly.

“You really know the way to a woman’s heart, Briggs.” You joke as you hear the door open once more, this time looking over to see Charlie and Mike entering the house, seeing you and Briggs and rushing over.

“Hey, Chuck.” You mumble, smoothly transferring yourself from Briggs’ embrace to Charlie’s who holds you close, running a hand through your hair.

“What happened to you, Baby?” Charlie asks, her maternal instincts kicking in as she cradles you, shifting her hand from your hair to your chin, cupping it softly so she can look you in the eye.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” You say quietly, trying to reassure her that you are okay, smiling softly at her as Mike eases himself down on the couch.

“Mikey, you’re not missing out on this, " you say, gesturing him closer as Charlie carefully releases you from her embrace, swapping places with Mike so he can give you a hug.

“It’s so good to have you back,” Mike says softly, hugging you carefully as you smile, grateful to be back with the people you love.

“I bet I’ve missed out on sauce night, huh?” You ask, glancing between everyone, pulling away from Mike slightly but staying close enough that his arm stayed wrapped around you.

“Never. We could never hold sauce night without you.” Charlie says reassuringly, reaching across to rub a gentle hand up and down your arm, making you sigh with a soft laugh.

“You know, we’re not the only ones who missed you,” Mike says with an amused smile, glancing around at everyone before focusing on you.

“Was it someone outside the house?” You ask quietly, watching everyone’s reactions carefully, your heart rate begins to pick up as you start to hope who it was.

“That Tim Bradford of yours wouldn’t stop pestering us. He damn near demanded I brought him to Mexico with me when we first figured out you’d gone missing. That man’s got it bad for you.” Briggs explains with a laugh, watching as your eyebrows furrow slightly, looking up at him.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually let Tim come to Mexico with you.” You ask, worried about what could’ve possibly happened to Tim. Before Briggs could reply, you heard the door open.

“Levi, you better not be hogging y/n all to yourself.” You hear Jakes call, rushing into your line of sight as Mike rolls his eyes, gently letting you wiggle free from his embrace so you can lean forward and give Jakes a hug as you think about how you need to visit Tim soon to let him know you were okay.

“Paige said she was too deep into her case at the moment to come home right now but you know she’ll be here the moment she’s able to,” Johnny says, entering the living room with a plate of food and cutlery, handing it to you with a gentle smile.

“Somehow I don’t doubt it.” You reply, smiling as you take the plate, leaning back against the couch cushions so you can eat. You only manage a couple of mouthfuls of food before you begin to feel nauseous. You place the plate down with a trembling hand and get up from the couch.

“Sorry Johnny, the food is lovely I just don’t have as much appetite as I thought. I might go for a nap, actually.” You say apologetically, dismissing yourself and heading up the stairs, trying to contain each wince that flashes across your face each step you take.

When you make it to your room, you collapse on your bed, curling up as you shiver. All you could think about was what the cartel had left you, how much you regretted using it so quickly, and how you wanted more. Even as you tried to nap it was all you could think about as you tossed and turned. As your brain screams at you, unable to rest for even a second, you eventually push the covers back, crossing to your desk and digging through the drawers desperately to try to find one of the many burner phones you had stashed away. When you finally found one, you quickly discovered that it had run out of battery making you slam your hand on your desk angrily with a frustrated grunt before you dug around in your drawers further, managing to find a charger and shakily rushing to the nearest outlet, your hands barely able to stay still long enough to plug into the port. As soon as the phone was charging, you sat on the edge of your bed, knee bouncing erratically as you waited for the phone to power on.

The second the phone began to power on, you fumbled through the contacts, searching for the right number before you hurriedly typed out a message, your shaking fingers causing you to make multiple typos, your muddled mind barely processing any of it as you hit send, desperation clinging to every fibre of your body.

Mere seconds after you hit send, you hear footsteps approaching your room and you hurriedly shove the phone out of eyesight, diving under the cover just as the door to your room opens and the person on the other side knocks lightly. You feigned waking up as you glanced over your shoulder to see Paige entering carefully.

“y/n, you’re okay!” Paige says, relief crossing her features as she locks eyes with you.

“That I am.” You say with a small smile, lowering yourself back down to the pillow and curling up again, hoping Paige will get the hint.

“What happened to you? Where were you?” Paige then asks, her expression worried as she regards you.

“I’m not quite ready to talk about it yet, Paige. I’m exhausted and just want to rest. I promise I’ll come down when I feel up to it.” You mumble, burying your face further into the pillow.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just glad you’re home.” Paige says quickly and apologetically, beginning to close the door, whispering a quick apology before closing the door behind her, leaving you alone once more.

The second the door closed, your phone buzzed lightly, sending you scrambling out from under the covers, hand flailing for the phone as you pulled it closer to you. Your eyes hurriedly scan the screen, desperately focusing on the message, hoping you were getting the response you wanted. When you had processed the message, you let out a small sigh of relief, your body relaxing properly for what felt like the first time since you walked back through the doors of Graceland. All you had to do now was bide your time and then you’d get what you’ve been desperately craving, knowing you had to make sure that no one else found out about it.

A few days after you returned from Mexico, you finally got the courage to go and visit Tim to let him know you were okay. It was nerve-wracking to be stepping back into Mid-Wilshire, especially when you weren’t back on duty yet. You made your way to the front desk, awkwardly standing in front of it for a moment until you got the attention of the officer working there.

“Can I help you?” He asks with a raised eyebrow, eyes flicking from you to the paperwork in front of him, barely paying you much attention.

“I was just wondering if Officer Bradford was in?” You ask, an unusual sheepishness to your voice as you speak, fidgeting with your fingers and fighting the urge to shuffle.

“Why do you need to see him?” The officer asks with a sigh, looking bored and ready to send you away.

“I’m a friend.” You say, shoving your hands in your jacket pockets, your thumb brushing alongside your badge. You knew you could just use your badge, say it was an FBI matter but you also knew that you couldn’t risk putting people on high alert just so you could see Tim. You were also pretty sure that even with your badge the officer on the other side of the desk wouldn’t believe you with how rough you looked. Your split lip was still healing, you were pale and shaking, and you had obvious bags under your eyes. You wouldn’t have been surprised if the officer began to attempt to arrest you with your appearance the way it was.

“A friend, huh? Look, lady, I don’t know who you’re trying to fool here but if you think I’m supposed to believe that you are a friend of Tim Bradford’s, you’ve got another thing coming.” The officer says, rolling his eyes as he focuses on the paperwork before him, and as he talks, your gaze begins to wander, hoping by some miracle you’d be able to talk yourself out of this situation. Just as all hope seems lost, Tim walks in, ready to address someone but halting in his tracks completely when he notices you, jaw dropping open as he stares.

“Hey, Tim.” You say softly, not really sure of what to say to him.

“y/n? What? How did you? Where did you? Are you really back?” Tim stammers, unable to form a proper sentence as he refuses to remove his gaze from you.

“I’m here, Tim.” You say as Tim begins to take small, tentative steps towards you, stopping just in front of you as he regards you softly.

“Can I…?” Tim asks, unable to finish his sentence but despite that, you knew what he was asking for so you stepped closer, winding your arms around his middle and hugging him lightly, feeling his arms wrap around you, pulling you a little closer.

“I would’ve come by sooner but the Bureau wanted to ask me some questions first and quite frankly I’ve been feeling like shit.” You say quietly, relishing the feeling of how Tim’s arms wound around you so perfectly. Tim held you in a way that made you feel protected and made you believe that everything would be okay.

“I’ve been so worried about you,” Tim confesses quietly, his voice soft as he speaks, his lips brushing up against the shell of your ear.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. I promise I didn’t do it on purpose.” You make a weak attempt at a joke as Tim holds you a little tighter, somehow attuned to your unhealed injuries and not wishing to hurt you further.

“I know you didn’t. But it didn’t make me worry any less.” Tim says, unafraid to admit his worry to you.

“I’m sorry.” You repeat, shifting slightly so you can look at Tim properly as he shakes his head lightly.

“Don’t apologise. It wasn’t your fault. Hey, look I was just about to go on lunch, come with me. We can catch up and lunch will be on me.” Tim says, pulling away slightly, his hands moving up to gently hold you by the shoulders as he watches you softly.

“Tim I don’t want to impose…” you say nervously, watching as Tim shakes his head once more.

“I want you to join me. I’ve missed you.” Tim insists, his unusually soft eyes pleading with you as you silently consider his offer before sighing lightly, your head bowing.

“Okay. I’ll come.” You say as you look back up at Tim who smiles, leading you out of the station and taking you to a small food truck nearby, letting you sit at one of the tables while he orders the food for the both of you. It doesn’t take Tim long to return to the table, placing the two meals down on the table as you smile and thank him before digging in.

“What do you think of the food?” Tim asks after a few minutes of silent eating.

“It’s good. It’s no Hector’s but it’s pretty good regardless.” You admit with a nod, making Tim’s eyebrows furrow slightly.

“Hector’s? I don’t think I’ve heard of that.” Tim muses, stabbing at his food with the small plastic fork in his hand as your jaw drops open in shock.

“You don’t know Hector’s Tacos? It’s just the best taco truck in LA. Everyone at Graceland loves it. I’ll have to take you there someday. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve tried Hector’s Tacos.” You say with a laugh, watching as Tim nods with a chuckle.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Tim says jokingly, pointing at you as you laugh, rolling your eyes.

You spend about twenty minutes with Tim, falling back into your natural rhythm and you find yourself almost distracted from the nagging desperation in the back of your head until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You dug it out of your jacket and looked down at the screen, expecting it to be a text from someone from Graceland but instead, you saw a number you recognised all too quickly. You sat up a little straighter, your focus now entirely on the screen as you hurriedly type a response, getting to your feet.

“I’m so sorry, Tim. I have to go. This was amazing and we have to do it again someday.” You say, barely looking up at Tim who didn’t even have a chance to say anything before you darted off, leaving Tim alone and confused.

When most of the agents made their way back to Graceland after a long day at work, they were all expecting to find you somewhere within the house but instead, the house was quiet, with no sign of you anywhere.

“Yo, has anyone seen y/n?” Briggs asks as he comes downstairs after conducting a search for you upstairs.

“Nah, man. Last I heard she was going to try and visit Tim. Maybe things went so well they’ve wound up at his place.” Johnny says, ignoring the groans of his housemates as he laughs.

“As much as I’d love for those two to grow up and confess their feelings for each other I doubt that’s the case. y/n’s been through a lot recently, I can’t imagine that she’d want to confess her feelings now of all times and I’d like to think that Tim is enough of a gentleman not to do anything like that while she’s recovering.” Charlie says, lightly slapping Johnny on the back of the head as she talks.

“I agree. Maybe they’re just catching up? Talking to Tim is probably the best way for her to just get away from everything so I can’t blame her for wanting a few hours out of the house.” Paige says, defending you from the accusations even when you’re not around to hear her.

“She makes a good point. I’d want a few hours away from us too. Especially when she can’t get involved with work right now.” Jakes says with a shrug, taking a sip from his glass of freshly poured orange juice.

“Maybe…” Briggs mutters to himself, turning away from the others and crossing to the window so he could overlook the beach. The waves were big, a perfect day for surfing which is what Briggs would’ve been tempted to do had he not been concerned about you. He had been keeping close tabs on you since you got back to Graceland and he wasn’t glad to be recognising the signs you were displaying.

When you didn’t come back to the house until the next day, most of the team had become convinced that you were just spending the night with Tim but Briggs was still convinced that his hypothesis was correct despite what the others thought but he wasn’t prepared to jump to conclusions just yet. He wanted to be certain that he was in fact right before he tried to bring the topic up with you.

Over the next few days, Briggs did his best to keep close tabs on you. He’d question you when he found you attempting to sneak out of Graceland late at night after everyone else had gone to bed. You’d always use the same excuse every time you were caught, claiming you just wanted to clear your head and go for a late-night walk along the beach. After hearing the same excuse five times in a row, Briggs knew he had to follow you to get to the bottom of what was going on with you. Thankfully, on the night Briggs had chosen to follow you, you were so hyper-focused on where you were going that you had neglected to remember any of your FBI training when it came to making sure you weren’t being tailed. Briggs followed you through the back alleys and various neighbourhoods until he stopped, watching you enter a run-down house, knocking on the door and being let in by the guy on the other side of the door.

Briggs spent the whole night sitting on a curb, waiting for you to come out of the house, his leg bouncing anxiously as he worries about what condition you’ll be in when you come out. As the sun begins to rise, you emerge from the building. You look rough, like you’d been through the wringer.

“y/n!” Briggs called over to you, getting up from where he’d been sitting and crossing to you. You’d barely had time to process that he was there and that by the time he crossed to you, any hope of running away was gone.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, shocked as Briggs winds a protective arm around you, escorting you away from the building.

“I’m worried about you. What’s going on with you?” Briggs asks worriedly, leading you along streets you didn’t recognise, his walk hurried as he ushers you along.

“Nothing’s going on with me. What are you talking about?” You ask, trying to convince Briggs that he was reading into everything too much.

“Answer me this, what were you doing all night? It’s not like you to sneak off in the middle of the night and go somewhere as dodgy as this.” Briggs says, abruptly stopping in his tracks, turning to face you, an action you mirror as he moves to hold you by the shoulders to keep you in place.

“I was just… visiting a friend?” You attempt weakly, your shoulders slumping when Briggs shakes his head with a sigh.

“I thought being an undercover agent would make you a better liar. Look y/n/n, I’m worried about you. I have my suspicions about what’s going on with you. I’m hoping I’m wrong so I’m going to give you this one chance to prove to me that I’m wrong and you’re doing something else.” Briggs says, his voice was soft and concerned. A vulnerability you rarely see from him displayed all over his face as he talks.

“What do you think I’ve been doing?” You ask nervously, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you worry about what Briggs could accuse you of. You were especially terrified that if he had sussed you out, he was going to go running to the Bureau and report you, which would obviously lead to you losing your job.

“I think you’ve been sneaking out to go get yourself high,” Briggs says, his voice unexpectedly soft as he looks you in the eye. At Briggs’ gentle tone and lack of judgement, the built-up tears begin to spill down your cheeks.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” You whimper, tears sliding down your cheeks as your teeth clamp down on your lower lip to stop it from trembling violently.

“I won’t tell a soul. But I can’t let you keep going like this. This is dangerous for you and the house. I’m going to help you but I need you to trust me. Can you do that for me?” Briggs says, his voice never straying from the soft tone he had been using to talk to you as if he was talking to a scared child. In response to his question, you nod, more tears dribbling down your cheeks as Briggs smiles gently.

“I trust you.” You whisper, making Briggs nod slightly.

“Okay, let’s go. I’ve got someplace private we can talk.” Briggs then says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders again so he could lead you to where he knew you’d get some privacy.

Briggs takes you to a small apartment building, it was run down and clearly not maintained unlike the luxury you were used to in Graceland but you weren’t one to complain, especially when Briggs was helping you in your time of need. Upon entering the apartment, Briggs eases you down on the bed before sitting alongside you, angling himself so he can face you.

“I don’t want to push you but I think now is as good a time as any to explain what happened to you and what’s got you hooked on drugs,” Briggs says, watching as you nod lightly, lifting your hand to wipe away the fallen tears with shaking hands.

“The meet in Mexico was a setup. They… they killed Luca right in front of me. I know he was a drug dealer but he wasn’t a bad guy. He didn’t deserve to go out like that. I thought I was going to be next the moment I registered that they’d killed him but instead they just took me somewhere. I woke up tied to a chair and then…”

“Jangles walked in.” Briggs finishes your sentence when you become too overwhelmed to speak. Upon realising what Briggs had said, your eyes widen slightly and you stare at him with glassy eyes.

“How did you…?” You question, eyes fixed on Briggs as you wonder about how he could’ve possibly known that Jangles was involved in the whole thing.

“Because they did the same to me years ago,” Briggs admits, finding himself confessing something that no one else in the house, other than Mike, was aware of.

“What?” You ask quietly, questioning yourself on whether you heard him correctly.

“Before Graceland, there was another safe house for Feds, I lived there and my training officer was deep undercover with Caza, I’m talking about getting invited to Sunday dinners and the mother was calling him mijo. I stupidly decided to go to Mexico on an unauthorised mission and got myself caught by Caza. They must’ve known that I was FBI. They periodically got me high to the point of addiction and then left me for long enough that I was begging for more, but they never asked me anything. Once they got me hooked on heroin they had no more use for me, they just let me go but not without leaving me a ‘goodbye high’. It was definitely their way to get at the Bureau and clearly it got to their head if they’ve done something similar to you. You didn’t give anything away, did you?” Briggs explains, reliving the things he had been through in recent years and how much it hurt to give up someone he cared for, especially just because they got him hooked on heroin. In response to Briggs’ question, you shake your head.

“No. They didn’t ask me a single thing. They just came in, shot me up and then left. I think deep down they knew I was an agent so I’m shocked they didn’t kill me.” You confess quietly, more tears continuing to fall down your cheeks as you talk.

“It was another chance for them to stick it to the Bureau. They seem to find some sick pleasure in turning agents into addicts. They know that if word gets out about it, any and all cases we’ve ever worked would be reopened for investigation.” Briggs says, his voice reassuring as he wraps an arm around you and tugging you gently into his side.

“I thought I could beat it alone. Every time I left I told myself that it would be the last time, that I could stop whenever I wanted but every time I’d try I’d give in so quickly.” You admit tearily, leaning your head against Briggs’ shoulder as he rubs a reassuring hand up and down your arm.

“I know. It’s really easy to convince yourself that it’s that easy to just up and quit whenever you’re ready but it’s really not. And the fact you’ve opened up to me and you’re willing to let me help you is a huge step.” Briggs says, keeping his voice reassuring and gentle as he holds you a little closer, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I can’t go to a rehab. That would raise too many questions with the Bureau and the others. So, are there any other options?” You ask quietly, eyes flicking around the room. At your words, Briggs nods with a slight hum in agreement.

“You’re not wrong. I have an idea but it won’t be pretty. It will require you to trust me fully. I know you’ve already said you trust me but I want to make sure I have one hundred percent of your trust.” Briggs says as you lift your head off his shoulder so you can look each other in the eye.

“You have one hundred percent of my trust, Briggs.” You promise, and your vulnerable expression makes it clear to Briggs that you trust him wholeheartedly.

“Okay, before we do anything. We’re going to make a quick run to the store, we’re going to be here for a few days so let’s stock up.” Briggs says, getting to his feet as you follow, slightly confused as to where Briggs was going with this. You follow Briggs wordlessly to the nearest store, watching as he piles various ready meals, snacks, and water into a basket before he heads over to the cashier to buy the food. After purchasing the drinks and the food, Briggs takes you back to the small apartment and lets you sit down on the bed once more while he unpacks the food and drinks.

“Briggs, what is this place?” You ask curiously, wondering why you had never learnt about this place sooner.

“It’s just a safe house. It’s only really been for emergencies if I need a place to lie low I come here. I’ve never told you guys about this place because if something happened and I was hiding out here I wouldn’t want to put that pressure to lie on you guys.” Briggs explains, briefly pausing his actions as he watches you, studying how you nodded shakily, exhaling strongly.

“That makes sense.” You mumble, jaw clenching as your gaze flicks to the floor.

“You feeling okay?” Briggs asks, having a feeling he was recognising the signs but not wanting to jump to conclusions just yet.

“Just feeling off, maybe slightly nauseous?” You say, looking back up at Briggs who watches you sympathetically.

“Okay. But that’s to be expected, right? This detox is going to be tough. You’re going to hate me, call me every name under the sun. You’re going to be in so much pain but I know you can do it. And I’ll be here with you the whole way through. Promise.” Briggs says, shoving the last of the shopping away before crossing to you, sitting down alongside you and smiling reassuringly.

“Can you walk me through how this detox is going to work?” You ask and Briggs could sense the nervousness and fear rolling off you in waves. One look at your nervous expression and Briggs wanted to abandon the whole thing and take you back to Graceland but he knew he had to persevere, for your benefit above everything else.

“It sounds like some kind of horror movie but the only thing I can really do here is strap you to the bed and let you ride out the wave. I know it sounds horrible but I know you’re much stronger than you look and that if you were desperate, which you most likely will be, you’ll overpower me and be gone in seconds if I give you the chance.” Briggs explains, getting up from the bed and crossing to one of the drawers nearby to grab a spare pair of handcuffs he had for emergencies. At Briggs’ words, you swallow nervously. You knew it was for your own good, it would help you get through the roughest part of overcoming your addiction and you were comforted by the thought that Briggs would be with you the whole time. You knew he’d look after you and help you no matter what happened.

“If that’s the best plan. Then I’ll do it.” You say, nodding slightly as you look up at Briggs who offers you a supportive smile as he reaches out to rest a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly in reassurance.

“Alright, sounds like we gotta get this show on the road then, huh?” Briggs says in an attempt to somewhat lighten the mood. Finally, after some deep breaths, you give Briggs the nod he needs to confirm that you are ready and you lie back on the bed, waiting patiently as Briggs handcuffs you to the bed, making sure you’re comfortable before he straightens up.

“Do you think you could let the others know we’re okay?” You ask, after giving your right arm a few test tugs to make sure the restraint is tight enough to keep you in place.

“Of course, I’ll do that. I won’t tell them where we are or what we’re doing. Promise.” Briggs says as he places a bucket alongside the bed just in case you feel the need to throw up. You nod with a small smile, wiggling slightly to get more comfortable in the bed.

“Do you think…? Do you think you could let Tim know I’m okay? I feel bad enough that I went missing the first time and he had no idea if I was even alive or not. I owe it to him to let him know I’m okay this time around.” You ask quietly, watching as Briggs nods once more.

“Got it. I’ll let the others know and then I’ll let lover boy know in the morning, now get some sleep, you’re going to need it.” Briggs says with a wink as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, his gaze flicking down to the screen as he types out a message to send to Charlie.

“Come on Briggs.” You grumble, glaring over at Briggs who chuckles at how quickly he had managed to rile you up.

“Sorry. You know I had to. Now sleep.” Briggs says with a shrug, before pointing at you, his voice slightly stern as you grumble, attempting to find a comfortable position to lie in, feeling the nausea and nagging demand for more heroin screaming in your ear.

‘Hey, Tim, It’s Paul Briggs. I’ve taken y/n away for a couple of weeks just to help her decompress after whatever happened with her in Mexico and we’ve both decided she’d benefit from it. She’ll be unable to contact you for a while because of it. Everything is okay and you have no reason to worry.’ 

Tim’s eyebrows furrowed as he read the text that came through on his phone while he was sitting at a table ready for morning roll call, studying the message carefully as if he had somehow read it wrong. After reading the text a few times over, Tim sighs heavily as Lucy gives him a side-eye.

“What’s wrong?” Lucy asks curiously, turning her attention to Tim with a confused expression.

“That Briggs guy just messaged me saying that he’s taking y/n away for a bit to help her after all that stuff that happened in Mexico,” Tim mutters, eyes remaining fixed on the message as Lucy takes in his words.

“I mean, it would make sense for her to want to be away from everything. She’s clearly been through a lot recently and if she’s still not cleared to go back to work I understand why she’d want time away. It sounds like Briggs is just trying to help.” Lucy says with a slight shrug, trying to reassure Tim that it wasn’t anything personal.

“I get that. I’m just worried about her. She hasn’t been herself recently.” Tim says, expressing for the first time that he was concerned about you. He’d recognised a couple of signs with you that he had seen with Isabel and he was concerned that something had happened to you.

“I know you’re concerned, it goes to show how much you care about her. But this is probably what she needs. I needed time off after what happened with Caleb. Sometimes the best way to overcome stuff is just to get away from everything and it’s good that Briggs is evidently helping her through it.” Lucy says, her voice level and calm as Tim nods despite his slight frustration and jealousy.

“I know it’s just-”

“You’re jealous that Briggs is the one helping her not you?” Lucy cuts in with a raised eyebrow, trying to get to the bottom of what is really bothering Tim.

“Wha-? No, I’m not jealous.” Tim insists, eyes wide as he looks over at Lucy who doesn’t look convinced by his words.

“Okay, so let’s just go over this again. You’re bothered that y/n has gone away for a few weeks but you’re not concerned that she’s gone away with Briggs of all people?” Lucy asks, carefully studying Tim’s reaction.

“Briggs has nothing to do with my feelings regarding y/n being away.” Tim continues to insist, looking away from Lucy as he lets out a scoff.

“Are you sure? I won’t hold it against you if you are.” Lucy says, smiling lightly to try and ease the tension that has now settled between them.

“Okay I’m not jealous but after going to Mexico with that guy I just have a bad feeling about him. He seems like he’s only out for himself.” Tim then says, turning to face Lucy again whose eyebrows raised slightly in shock at Tim’s words.

“You think he’s going to hurt y/n or something?” She asks, concerned about what Tim thinks Briggs’ intentions are.

“I don’t know. y/n’s always spoken highly of him. Said he was her training officer when she first moved here and she’s trusted him for years now.” Tim explains, thinking of all the times you’d talked about Briggs. He knew you trusted Briggs with your life but after the interactions he had with him in Mexico. Tim couldn’t help but feel that something was off with Briggs. He didn’t like that Briggs had been so nonchalant when it came to finding you and how he had lorded the command he had over Tim’s head when Tim was the only one that first day who was chomping at the bit to go looking for you.

“I don’t think y/n would go with him if she didn’t trust him.” Lucy bargains, trying to calm Tim and reassure him that he’s just overthinking the whole thing.

“I know. I just-”

“Alright, guys, look alive!” The voice of Grey booms around the room as all conversations suddenly die down and everyone’s eyes flick to the front, ready to hear about what is on the agenda for the day. As Grey begins to talk, Lucy finds herself studying Tim in the corner of her eye, worried about him.

When Grey had finally finished talking and dismissed the group of gathered police officers, Tim got to his feet and headed to his shop to check the vehicle over with Lucy following close behind.

“Hey, I’ll get the war bags and then I’ll drive today, okay?” Lucy says, her voice gentle as she pats Tim’s shoulder lightly before turning back to head inside and get the war bags they need for their patrol. When she returned, she loaded the bags in the trunk of the vehicle and took the keys from Tim’s outstretched hand before climbing into the driver's seat while Tim rounded the shop and got in the passenger side.

The patrol was long and stressful for Tim. He tried to ask for updates every half an hour but all Briggs would ever send in response was ‘she’s fine.’ It started to grow frustrating when Tim received that message for what felt like the hundredth time and he fought the urge to throw his phone.

“Is he not telling you anything?” Lucy asks, her eyes fixed on the road as she hears Tim let out another sigh.

“He just keeps saying she’s fine. I can’t get any more than that. I just wish he’d tell me something, anything.” Tim grumbles, thumbs hovering over his phone screen as he debates sending a message back.

“At least you know she’s okay. That’s something, right?” Lucy offers, trying to put a positive spin on things while Tim continues to frown angrily, eyes not leaving his phone screen.

“But he’s not telling me any more than that. It sounds like a guy holding someone for ransom or something. He could just let me call and speak to her but he won’t let me.” Tim says, his jaw clenching.

“Tim. She’s been through something. We don’t know what but it’s probably been traumatic for her so I don’t blame her for wanting to go off the grid completely with someone she trusts to get through it.” Lucy says, reiterating the point she had made mere hours earlier. Lucy felt like she had been talking to a brick wall for most of the patrol. Thankfully, Tim could pull himself together enough to respond appropriately to calls, but the second he was back in the shop he was staring at his phone like a moping puppy.

By the end of the patrol, Lucy had tried everything she could to calm Tim down and convince him that he was overthinking but nothing seemed to work. It became increasingly clear to Lucy that the only way to get Tim to relax was for him to see for himself that you were okay. All she managed to achieve by the end of the patrol was for Tim to agree to wait for you to contact him first although she could tell it wouldn’t stop Tim’s worry.

“Hey, Tim. Take it easy, okay? I know y/n being off the grid right now is bothering you but you can’t let it interfere with your work.” Lucy says softly after bumping into Tim on her way out of the locker room.

“I know. I’ll do my best.” Tim mumbles with a small nod, adjusting his bag on his shoulder as he looks down at Lucy. He was already planning on going home, relaxing on the couch, and watching the game with Kojo to try to take his mind off everything.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me if you need anything.” Lucy says, nodding at Tim before making her way out of the station so she can head home, leaving Tim in the corridor.

By the end of two weeks in the safe house with Briggs, you were more than ready to go back to Graceland and get back to normality. The whole detox process had been sent from hell itself. You had cursed Briggs out for days while you writhed in pain on the bed and then to make matters worse you started burning up with a fever afterwards. You were fairly sure that most of the food Briggs offered to you had ended up being emptied out of your stomach after a few short minutes. But the pain had been worth it. You had completely cleared the heroin out of your system. While it was still there, the nagging demand for the drug had lessened and you knew that with the support of Briggs, you’d be able to get back into work and get back into a somewhat normal life.

“Can we go home, Briggs? Please?” You ask quietly while in the middle of drying your hair with a towel after a long overdue shower.

“You think you’re ready?” Briggs asks after taking a sip from his cup of coffee. His tone lacked judgement, only filled with concern as he looked over at you.

“I’m ready. I’ve missed everyone so much. I just want to go home.” You say, tears filling your eyes at the mere thought of your family back in Graceland.

“Okay, we’ll get sorted and then head back to Graceland,” Briggs says, getting to his feet after finishing his drink and crossing to the sink to clean the mug.

“Thank you.” You whisper gratefully, your eyes still teary as you look over at Briggs who nods, eyes fixed on the mug he was cleaning.

“I’ll be keeping a close eye on you when we’re back home. If I catch even the slightest whiff of a relapse I will tell the Bureau for your own good. And I’ll have you coming to my Narcotics Anonymous meetings which I know probably sounds ridiculous but I promise you it helps.” Briggs then says, finally putting the mug down before turning to look at you, a look of seriousness on his face as his arms folded across his chest. You nod at his words knowing that Briggs would absolutely follow through on his threat if he deemed it necessary and you couldn’t blame him. Your battle with addiction could put yourself and so many others in danger if you relapsed. The idea of losing your job and the people you loved so much served to push you to better yourself, to not let the drug get the better of you again.

“You got it.” You say assuredly, a verbal promise that you’d adhere to any and all rules that Briggs may put in place for your own benefit.

“Cool. Right, let’s get going. I know Charlie is desperate to make her world-famous ragu but she’s been refusing to make it without you there. I’d be surprised if the house was still intact when we got home with how long it’s been since we’ve had sauce night.” Briggs admits with a chuckle, thinking about the various messages he had received from various members of the house.

“I feel like I need to buy some flowers or something to apologise for depriving everyone of sauce night for so long.” You laugh breathily as you stand from the bed, moving to grab your shoes as you discard the towel, hanging it over the back of the chair Briggs had placed by the bed, a way to sit nearby and support you through your detox.

“They’ll get over it. However, Tim was practically constantly pestering me for updates on how you were doing.” Briggs says, smoothly shifting the subject as you look over at him eyes wide with worry.

“You didn’t tell him what was going on, did you?” You ask, concern grabbing at your throat, constricting it as you fear what Tim may know.

“Of course, I didn’t. I only told him that you were okay and that we were away for some time to help you decompress after Mexico. I didn’t say anything more than that.” Briggs assures, grabbing his jacket from where it had been carelessly discarded on the table and tugging it on, waiting patiently for you to put your shoes on.

“Good. If he finds out, I want him to hear it from me directly.” You say, looking up at Briggs, briefly distracted from tying your shoelaces. Briggs watches you quietly, and a small sigh escapes his lips.

“Look, y/n. Telling Tim might not be the best idea. Secrets have burdens and telling someone, like Tim, who’s a member of the LAPD would really throw a stick in the works. I mean at the end of the day it’s up to you who you tell. But think about how it could affect them as well.” Briggs says, making your eyebrows furrow in thought as you think carefully about his words. You owed it to Tim to be honest with him, especially after everything that had happened recently, but you knew there was a possibility that he would react badly to the revelation. He was a Sergeant within the LAPD and you didn’t want him to have to go to work with that knowledge in his head. Briggs’ words also then made you realise that there was virtually no reason for you to even try and pursue a relationship with Tim anymore. Being an undercover agent was hard enough for relationships, let alone throwing in the fact that you were now a recovering heroin addict.

“You’re right.” You mumble softly, your mood now significantly dampened as you finish tying your laces, standing up and waiting for Briggs to join you.

“Let’s head home,” Briggs says softly, wrapping a supportive arm around your shoulders in an attempt to cheer you up after noticing how his previous words had affected you. You nod wordlessly in response and allow Briggs to lead you out of the safe house so you can both finally make your way back to Graceland.

The walk back to Graceland was quiet. Briggs had opted to take the scenic route home, walking along the beach. You admired the sights you had missed so much and watched the surfers who were in the ocean, patiently waiting for the next big wave. You couldn’t wait to return to the ocean, surf and forget all your worries. As you continue to walk along the beachfront, you hear a bark and perk up, noticing the familiar dog bounding towards you.

“Hey, BD!” You greet the dog excitedly as he presses himself up against your legs, eager for attention from you.

“It’s been a while, huh, buddy?” Briggs says lightly, reaching down to pet the dog as well. BD, short for Beach Dog had been living as a stray and roaming the beach since before you had joined Graceland. He was happy living on the beach and you and the others respected that. Of course, you’d bring him food and water on occasion, and pet him whenever you saw him, but you never tried to force him away from the comfort he had found from living on the beach.

“You haven’t been stealing any more of Mike’s flip-flops have you?” You ask the dog teasingly, stroking the top of his head softly as he pants happily, head tilting slightly as if he understood what you were saying to him.

“You’re just keeping Mikey on his toes aren’t you?” Briggs says down to BD, laughing as the dog lays down, rolling onto his back for even more attention. After a couple more minutes of fussing over the dog you had missed so much, you eventually decided to continue the walk back to Graceland with BD trotting alongside by your legs before he became distracted by something going on further down the beach and bolted off to investigate what was happening on his turf.

“Glad we were interesting enough for about five minutes.” You laugh breathily as you watch BD booking it down the beach, barking as he goes.

“I mean if I were a dog I’d probably find seagulls more interesting too,” Briggs says, bumping you lightly with his shoulder as you watch the seagulls that had been wandering the beach in BD’s line of sight take to the sky in a flurry as he rushes towards them.

“Yeah, I can’t blame him for that. He’s got to protect his beach.” You say with a smile as you watch BD bark at the birds that are now in the sky, squawking in warning to others.

You continue to walk down the beach until you finally approach the door to Graceland. You take a moment to stand outside the door, processing the fact that you are finally home after everything that has happened to you recently. You could only hope that this time you were here to stay. As if sensing your hesitation, Briggs gently hands you a key to the house, his smile supportive as he nods in approval. You nod back before lifting your hand to the door, carefully putting the key into the lock, taking a deep breath before turning the key and opening the door.

“Welcome home!” Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped when you saw your housemates standing in the living room, wide smiles on their faces as they stood in front of a ‘welcome home’ banner.

“How did you-?”

“Briggs told us you were coming home today. We hauled ass to get this together.” Johnny brags, crossing to you and pulling you into his arms with a grin. You were unsurprised to discover that Johnny was the brains behind the operation. He never turned down an opportunity to plan a party, no matter how small.

“You didn’t have to.” You say, your eyes growing teary with appreciation as you pull away from Johnny’s embrace slightly, looking over his shoulder to where the others are now approaching.

“We wanted to, y/n/n. You’re family.” Mike says, pulling you into a hug of his own as you mirror his actions, hugging him tight.

“I was only gone for a couple of weeks.” You insist, trying to fathom why they had gone out of their way to do such a thing for you.

“Yeah and after what you’d been through it’s the least we could do. Briggs didn’t give me enough of a heads up so unfortunately we can’t have sauce night tonight but three days from now we’ll have it, alright?” Charlie says, her voice soft and motherly as Mike lets you move to hug her, her hand instantly coming up to run through your hair as she hugs you.

“I’ve gone this long without it. What’s a few more days?” You joke lightly, eliciting laughs from the other members of the house.

“All that matters is that you’re okay,” Paige says, smiling softly as you look over at her, your smile matching hers as you detangle yourself from Charlie’s embrace to hug Paige who wraps you up in her arms quickly, hugging you close as you reciprocate the action.

“Jakes, are you not getting involved?” You ask, noticing how Jakes had elected to stay a few paces behind everyone else, watching the interactions from a short distance.

“Well you know parties aren’t my thing,” Jakes says with a light shrug as you are released from Paige’s embrace, an eyebrow raised as you watch him carefully.

“Not even a welcome home party for me?” You ask teasingly, opening your arms for a hug as Jakes chuckles lightly.

“Who am I kidding? Come here, girl.” Jakes says, crossing to you with a smile, wrapping you up in his arms, hugging you tightly as you laugh.

“Are you staying now?” You hear Mike ask, turning your head to look over at him with a small smile.

“Yes, Mikey, you’re all stuck with me once more. I’m going to head to the Bureau in a couple of days and see if I can get back out there working again.” You say, glancing around at each person in turn, offering them all soft smiles.

“You’re sure you’re feeling up to working again?” Charlie asks, her worry evident on her face and in her voice as she talks.

“I’m definitely feeling up to it. Being out of action for so long is sending me insane and I just feel useless sitting around doing nothing while you guys are still working.” You explain as Jakes loosens his grip on you, allowing you to step away and fully address everyone around you.

“Damn, was the two weeks with me that bad?” Briggs jokes, slinging an arm around your shoulders and jostling you slightly as everyone laughs.

“Yeah, what was it you were up to with Briggs?” Johnny asks curiously, eyebrow raised as his eyes flick between you and Briggs.

“I just needed time away from everything and Briggs was teaching me all his zen techniques to help after what happened in Mexico.” You laugh, the lie coming easily as the others laugh at the idea of you meditating with Briggs for two weeks straight.

“Well you’re home now, and we’ve got your back. We’re going to help you as much as we can.” Mike says, his smile gentle as ever as the rest of the group nods in support, making your heart swell with appreciation for the support you were getting from the others. They didn’t know the truth behind why you had disappeared but you weren’t ready to tell them about it, especially after Briggs’ warning. After a few minutes of catching up with the others, you head up to your room to put your things away and as you dig through the bag, discarding used clothes into the laundry basket, you find your burner phone at the bottom of the bag. The phone had been the one you used to contact the local drug dealers you knew, the ones you knew could get you heroin when you needed it. You hold the phone in your hands, staring down at the phone as it seemingly taunts you, a siren song to just turn the phone on and call someone to get the high you had been deprived of for weeks. After staring at the phone for what felt like hours, you snap yourself back to reality, standing from where you had sat on the edge of your bed and make your way to Briggs’ room, knocking on the door and waiting for permission to come in.

“What can I do for you?” Briggs asks with a smile after calling you in from where he was sitting on his bed, his laptop on his legs as he scrolls through files he’s not looked at for weeks as you close the door behind you.

“I need you to take this.” You say, practically forcing the phone in Briggs’ hand the moment you cross the room and reach his side, noticing his confused expression at the force behind your actions and your words.

“I’m sorry, why?” Briggs questions, discarding his laptop alongside him on the bed as he pushes himself more upright.

“I used that phone to contact people when I wanted a hit. I don’t trust myself at the moment to go around knowing that it was in my room. You can do whatever you want with it. Destroy it. Hide it. Bury it in a ditch for all I care as long as I don’t know where it is.” You say, not even able to bring yourself to look at the phone as you begin to pace anxiously. At your panic, Briggs gets up from where he is sitting, placing his hands on your shoulder, catching you in your pacing and ducking his head down to be in your line of sight.

“y/n/n. Breathe. I got you. You’re so much stronger than you think and the fact you’ve taken the initiative to bring this to me so you’re not tempted is a huge step and shows how seriously you’re taking your recovery and it gives me faith that you’re not going to relapse easily. I’ve got it handled. This phone is going to disappear off the map and you’ll never have to think about it again.” Briggs says softly, squeezing your shoulders ever so slightly to alleviate the tension he felt sitting there. He watched carefully as you nodded, exhaling softly before getting the courage to finally look Briggs in the eye.

“Thank you, Briggs.” You mumble appreciatively, the smallest of smiles gracing your face as Briggs nods, a smile of his own appearing.

“We have a meeting in a couple of days, it’ll feel scary and intimidating but I’ll be there too. And if the Bureau clears you for work I’m making sure you start off easy. I’m not letting anyone throw you in the deep end if I’m not there, okay? We’re going to figure it out.” Briggs assures you softly, his words giving you confidence that you’ll be able to get back to normality in time.

“Thank you.” You repeat, nodding as Briggs releases his grip on your shoulders, standing up straight and tucking the phone securely in his pocket.

“You don’t need to worry about that phone anymore. It’ll be gone before the day is up.” Briggs says with a quick wink, making you nod, grateful for the support Briggs was showing you when you knew he had no obligation to do so. With one final ‘thank you’ muttered, you turn on your heel and head out of the room, making your way back to your own room to grab a hoodie before heading downstairs to join the others who greet you with smiles.

“What are we watching?” You say, settling down on the couch alongside Mike who turns to look at you with a smile.

“Some western. Bello is obsessed with them so I’ve got to make sure my knowledge about them is top-notch.” Mike says as he settles back against the cushions, a slight sigh escaping his lips.

“And he’s recorded over all the shit I’ve recorded,” Johnny complains, entering the living room and dropping down on the couch next to you with a groan.

“I said they’ll be gone soon Johnny, stop complaining.” Mike fires back with a laugh as Johnny rolls his eyes.

“How’s it going with Bello, anyway?” You ask curiously, looking over at Mike.

“It’s going. He’s thinking about starting a deal with Odin. He’s hesitant because he knows going against the Caza Cartel can have pretty bad consequences.” Mike admits as you nod, unbeknownst to him that you had experienced the brutality of the Caza Cartel firsthand and could understand why someone like Bello was hesitant to move to another dealer.

“I can understand why he’s hesitant. From what I’ve heard, Caza can be brutal when they want to be.” You say, acting as nonchalantly as possible to avoid Mike and Johnny figuring out that you had a run-in with Caza, although you were fairly sure they had their suspicions after seeing the condition you were in when you had returned from Mexico.

“So, are you going to let Tim know you’re back? Honestly, I’d be surprised if he didn’t confess his feelings the moment he sees you.” Johnny says with a laugh, attempting to change the subject as Mike chuckles quietly, neither man noticing the dejected expression appearing on your face.

“I don’t know when I’ll see him. But we’re not going to start a relationship. He doesn’t like me like that. And even if he did, I couldn’t do that to him.” You say, eyes flicking to the floor as your knee begins to bounce anxiously.

“Do what to who?” Charlie asks as she enters the living room, having clearly heard the tail end of your words but not knowing the full context.

“She’s saying she couldn’t date Tim,” Johnny says, immediately ratting you out and ignoring your half-hearted glare as Charlie settles down alongside him on the couch.

“Why do you say that? He’s head over heels for you.” Charlie asks, her voice soft as she watches you carefully, not missing the tears welling in your eyes.

“Yeah! He’s so in love with you and we can all tell you love him too. Come on girl you need to go for it! Put us all out of our misery here.” Johnny teases, making you grit your teeth as the tears continue to build.

“I’m an undercover agent. I can’t in good conscience date him when I work such a dangerous job. He deserves better.” You say, the tears slipping past their defences and trickling down your cheeks as you squeeze your eyes shut, hands clutching the edge of the couch like it was a lifeline.

“Baby, you’ll never know unless you try. He’s LAPD, he understands our job more than most would. I’m sure the two of you could navigate a relationship.” Charlie insists softly, standing up so she can swap seats with Johnny, wrapping an arm around you and tugging you into her side the moment she sits down alongside you.

“I can’t put him through that. He deserves better than to be worrying about me when I’m undercover. And I won’t put a target on his back just for the sake of a relationship.” You say firmly, suddenly standing and making a beeline for the front door, wanting to get away from the questioning. You ignored the calls from the others as they tried to get you to stay but you feared that you’d snap if you endured any more of their pressing. You headed down to the beach, heading down to the nearest pier and sitting underneath it in the shade. It was hidden and peaceful so you’d at least have a small slither of time to yourself before someone tracked you down.

Your feelings for Tim were overwhelmingly strong. You truly cared for him and wished you could be in a relationship with him but you knew you couldn’t. You were close enough with Tim to have learnt about his ex-wife Isabel and her drug addiction. You also knew how badly it had affected Tim as well. With what Jangles and the Caza Cartel did to you, you knew it would ruin Tim to try and be in a relationship with you and you weren’t willing to put him through that pain again. You couldn’t bear to potentially get into a relationship with him and then relapse, putting Tim through the pain of you giving in to your past addiction.

The longer you think about what Caza has taken from you, your emotions begin to get the better of you, tears flowing freely down your cheeks as you mourn a relationship you never had in the first place. You longed to be able to tell Tim how you felt but you knew the risks associated with your job would put him in danger and you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if something happened to him because of you. As you continue to cry, you pull your knees up to your chest, burying your face in your knees to try and stifle your sobs as they rack your body.

“y/n!” You’re vaguely aware of Johnny’s voice calling out to you, followed by rushed footsteps as he approaches but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak or even look at him. You hear Johnny sit down alongside you yet you still don’t look up at him.

“Hey, y/n/n. I’m sorry for the jokes. It was stupid of me to do that.” Johnny apologises quietly his gaze fixed on the ocean ahead of him. Johnny felt so guilty for joking about your feelings for Tim the moment you bolted out of the house, he felt like he deserved the slap on the back of the head he received from Charlie after everyone had processed what happened.

“It wasn’t you John.” Your hoarse voice speaks up as you finally lift your head from your knees, turning your head so you can look at Johnny who turns to face you with a sad look, guilt written clear as day across his face.

“You don’t need to lie to me, y/n. I know I upset you.” Johnny says, a weak attempt at a smile creeping onto his face as he watches you carefully. You fought back the temptation to frown. Johnny was the brightest light within Graceland, he was always smiling and finding the fun in everything around him despite the job he was a part of and he had become like a younger brother to you during your time in Graceland. You hated to see him so upset over something that wasn’t his fault. You knew he was just trying to make light of the situation and you let your emotions get the better of you.

“Johnny, I promise I’m not upset with you. It’s just been a rough few weeks and I took it out on you. That wasn’t fair of me to do.” You say apologetically, lifting your hand to wipe at your tears. Johnny then takes the opportunity to shuffle closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you gently against his side, smiling softly as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I promise I won’t make any more jokes about you and Tim. I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Johnny says softly, making you smile as a small laugh escapes your lips.

“I don’t mind jokes, Johnny. But less jokes about Tim would be appreciated.” You admit quietly as Johnny nods before resting his head atop yours.

“You got it. One hundred percent serious Johnny is here to stay.” Johnny brags lightly, making you laugh once more.

“I give you a day before you start cracking jokes again.” You mutter softly, a smile on your face as Johnny gasps lightly.

“You wanna bet?” Johnny asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, if you make even one joke towards me before tomorrow is up, you have to buy my drinks next time we go to the bar. If you make it through tomorrow, I’ll buy your drinks.” You propose, lifting your head from Johnny’s shoulder and holding a hand out towards him.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. I can’t wait to have a night of free drinks.” Johnny brags as he lets go of your hand, both of you laughing softly as Johnny pulls you into a quick hug. Before the two of you can go back to conversing, you hear the sound of two people running, before they stop suddenly alongside you.

“y/n?” At the sound of your name, you pull away from Johnny’s embrace and look over your shoulder and see Tim and Lucy standing alongside you.

“Tim.” You say quietly, both you and Johnny scrambling to get to your feet.

“I didn’t know you were back,” Tim says, trying to keep his voice steady and neutral while his brain was running at one hundred miles per hour.

“I just got back today.” You say with a small shrug, trying to downplay your absence.

“Oh, right,” Tim mutters, a weak attempt at a smile on his face as he regards you softly.

“What brings you guys here? Tim hates the beach so it’s definitely a surprise seeing you guys here.” You then say, changing the subject and looking over at Lucy.

“We’re working a case and we found a piece of potential evidence. Then a dog grabbed it right out of Tim’s hand and ran off with it.” Lucy explains, her hands resting on her belt as she talks.

“I bet it was BD. What do you think, Johnny?” You say, glancing over at Johnny who nods in agreement.

“Sorry? BD?” Tim asks, eyes flicking between you and Johnny in hopes of an answer.

“Beach Dog. We call him BD for short. He’s known around here for snatching stuff and running off with it. We’ll help you track him down.” You explain before beginning to survey the beach, eyes squinting as you hope to locate the dog in question.

“We should split up. I’ll go with you y/n, and then you two can go around together.” You hear Johnny suggest, looking back at the group, ready to nod before Lucy speaks up.

“I’d actually like to go around with you if you don’t mind, Johnny. I have questions about the FBI and I’d love to learn more.” Lucy asks quickly, looking over at Johnny who in turn looks at you, quietly asking for permission. When you nod lightly, Johnny then turns to face Lucy with a wide smile.

“It would be my pleasure.” He says with a grin as he and Lucy head down the beach in one direction while you and Tim head in the other, both of you surveying the beach in hopes of spotting BD or the piece of potential evidence.

“So, what is it we’re looking for?” You ask quietly, realising as you walk that you have no idea what it is you’re looking for.

“It’s a scrap of a t-shirt. Chances are it could just be a random scrap of cloth but with this being one of the last known locations of our missing person it would be stupid not to consider it evidence until proven otherwise.” Tim says, following you down the beach.

“And BD’s just gone and stolen it from you. He’s the sweetest dog but he really will just steal anything. Stole one of Mike’s flip-flops his first full day here.” You mutter, slightly agitated at the dog for potentially hindering a serious case.

“Is he a stray?” Tim asks curiously as you stop walking for a moment to look around you, allowing Tim to catch up to you.

“Yeah, and he likes it that way. He prefers living out here.” You explain as Tim nods in understanding.

“I see. Well if he’s happy out here that’s all that matters.” Tim shrugs lightly.

“Exactly.” You mutter before noticing some tracks that look like they could belong to BD, beginning to follow them as Tim rushes to catch up to you.

“How have you been? You were gone for a while and Briggs wouldn’t give me much of a response when I asked.” Tim asks, watching you carefully as you feel your heart twinge.

“I’m fine. I needed the time away from everything and Briggs was the guy who could help me most.” You respond as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. In reality, you longed to tell Tim the truth but you longed to protect him so you attempted to close yourself off, acting cold and distant to try and drive him away.

“And did the time away help?” Tim asks softly, wanting to know if you are okay or not.

“I guess.” You shrug, trying to be as vague as possible to deter Tim from continuing to question you about your time away from everyone. Getting the hint that you don’t want to talk more, Tim falls silent and continues to follow you down the beach until you find BD lying in the sand, a scrap of cloth in his mouth as he studies you carefully, ears perked.

“Hey, buddy. We need that. Is it okay if I have it?” You asks the dog softly, beginning to crouch down to his level but you quickly realise that BD was going to see this as a game as he gets to his feet, his eyes never leaving you.

“I’ve got something you might like a little better. How does a treat sound?” Tim asks the dog, digging in one of his pockets for a small pack of dog treats, extracting a treat from the packet and offering it towards BD who drops the scrap of cloth, allowing you to scoop it up while Tim gives BD a treat who accepts hit happily, allowing Tim to pet him briefly before bolting off down the beach, now uninterested in the two of you.

“You just carry dog treats around like that?” You muse with a small smile, raising an eyebrow as Tim shrugs lightly.

“I went into a store earlier to ask some questions and I saw these treats. I thought my dog would like them.” Tim says with a small smile, tucking the treat packet back into his pocket as he talks.

“You never mentioned having a dog.” You say, shocked that you hadn’t known that information about Tim.

“Yeah I have a dog, his name is Kojo,” Tim says as the two of you begin to make your way back towards where you had split up with Johnny and Lucy.

“Can’t believe you kept that information from me.” You tease, laughing softly.

“You’ll have to meet him sometime.” Tim then says, his voice softening as he glances over at you. He longed to spend more time with you outside of your jobs but he never wanted to push your boundaries.

“Maybe. We’ll see.” You reply, suddenly sobering up when you remember the rules you had set in place to protect yourself and Tim. Sensing that the conversation was ending, Tim radioed Lucy, letting her know that you had found the missing item. As you approach the meeting point, you see Lucy and Johnny chatting as they wait for you to arrive.

“Chen, we’ve got it,” Tim calls over to her, making both Lucy and Johnny approach the two of you as you dig the item out of your pocket holding it out towards Lucy.

“I don’t know how good this would be as evidence. It’s got dog slobber all over it.” You say apologetically as Lucy takes it from your hand.

“Forensics are good at their job. They should be able to find something of use here. Hopefully.” Lucy says, tucking the scrap of cloth away in a zip-loc bag.

“Forensics can find anything. If this evidence is useful, it won’t take them long to find something.” Johnny says confidently, lightly bumping Lucy with his shoulder and chuckling.

“Johnny’s right. You guys should get that to forensics so you can find out if it’ll help your case or not.” You say, looking from Tim to Lucy and back again as they nod in agreement.

“That’s true. Come on Lucy, let’s go and see if this was worth chasing a dog down for.” Tim mutters, nodding over at Lucy who mirrors his action.

“We’ll see you around,” Lucy says to you and Johnny before turning to leave with Tim, both of them heading back in the direction they had come from. You and Johnny watch them leave quietly before looking over at each other.

“We should probably head home before Charlie freaks out, huh?” You say quietly as Johnny nods.

“Yeah, I don’t feel like being murdered so the sooner we get back the better,” Johnny replies, gesturing for you to follow him and the two of you begin to head back to Graceland to spend the rest of the day relaxing.

A month later, you had gotten back into a regular routine. You weren’t ready to tackle undercover cases yet, so you had elected to work as a liaison between the FBI and the LAPD, offering support with tact teams and advice for any officers tackling any undercover cases. You had been regularly attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings with Briggs and with the support of him and the other meeting attendants, you had managed to earn yourself your one-month sobriety chip. You were so proud of yourself for getting this far. Some of your days were rougher than others, you’d be in a foul attitude and you’d snap at anyone who dared talk to you but on other days you were fine. Your good days were beginning to outnumber the bad ones and you were beginning to feel more and more like your old self. Your only issue was that you were still hiding what happened to you from everyone. You felt like the others in the house deserved to know about your struggles. Briggs might be okay hiding his struggles with addiction from the others but you felt like you were living a lie every time you looked one of them in the eye. You even felt like you owed it to Tim to be honest with him too. You had been spending more time at Mid-Wilshire and it was getting harder and harder to lie to him and pretend like everything was okay. You were willing to take the risk to tell him even if it meant he stopped talking to you altogether.

Tim had noticed your distant behaviour and had attempted to talk to you several times as well as trying to invite you to spend time out of work. Each time you had turned him down, telling him that you had planned things with the others or whatever excuse came to mind. Despite what Tim had been saying previously, Tim had found himself incredibly jealous of your closeness to Briggs. He regularly dropped you off and picked you up from Mid-Wilshire and Tim never missed the tight hugs and the gentle kisses Briggs would place upon the top of your head. He had no idea what had happened to prompt such a sudden bond between the two of you but it hurt to think that it could potentially be more than platonic between the two of you. After a month of you avoiding him and barely speaking more than a few words to him, Tim’s jealousy started to get the better of him and one evening after you left with Briggs, Tim decided to follow you.

It was easy to spot the orange Bronco even in nighttime LA traffic so Tim was able to follow from a reasonable distance so he could avoid being spotted. The drive was about twenty minutes long and Tim soon found himself parked outside a building and heading in. He had no idea where in the building you had gone but he could hear movement on the next floor so he carefully made his way up the stairs and headed towards the room with an open door, hearing a conversation begin to die down and just as he reached the door he saw you stood at the front of the room before a small crowd of people. Just as you prepared to speak, you looked up and locked eyes with Tim who had paused in the doorway, watching you softly. It took you by surprise at first, and all you could do was stare, shocked that he was there. Pulling yourself together, you took a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut as you inhaled before finally getting the courage to open your eyes, watching Tim once more as you began to talk.

“Hi, my name is y/n and I’m a heroin addict.” You said, the same way you had weekly since Briggs started making you attend these meetings. You watched Tim’s reaction carefully and did your best to conceal your building tears when he continued to watch you, the shock evident in his eyes. You continue to talk, opening up about how you’d struggled a little since the last meeting but taking a moment to be proud of your achievement now that you had reached one month of sobriety. When you had finished talking, there was a small ripple of applause from everyone seated in front of you, including Tim from his spot in the doorway as you sat back down alongside Briggs. Tim decides to step out into the hallway as the rest of the meeting continues, waiting patiently for you to come out when the meeting is over.

When people began to file out of the room, Tim headed towards the door, seeing you and Briggs talking to another member of the meeting and you looked over at him, nodding in acknowledgement before excusing yourself from the conversation and making your way over to Tim.

“Hi.” You mumble quietly, the atmosphere awkward between the two of you as you stand before him, eyes looking everywhere but at him.

“Hey. Can we go somewhere more private?” Tim asks quietly, and you nod lightly.

“Is everything okay here?” Briggs asks, sidling up alongside you and watching Tim carefully as if he were a threat.

“Everything’s fine, Briggs. I’m going to chat with Tim privately. I’ll find you when I’m ready to head home.” You explain, turning to look at Briggs who nods, unconvinced.

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few.” Briggs says, embracing you quickly and kissing the top of your head in support before releasing you, allowing you to head out of the building with Tim, finding somewhere quiet to chat. You find a bench overlooking the ocean, both you and Tim sitting down on it and watching the waves quietly for a moment before Tim speaks up.

“Did that happen to you in Mexico?” He asks quietly, his gaze fixed on the dark waves lapping against the sand.

“Yeah… Caza clearly knew who I was. They knew if news of my addiction got out, all my cases would be reopened and investigated. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” You explain, tears welling in your eyes as you apologise.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Tim asks softly, finally turning his head to look at you, sadness written across all his features.

“I wanted to. But I remembered what you told me about Isabel. I couldn’t put you through that pain again. You don’t deserve it.” You say quietly, watching as Tim shakes his head.

“You didn’t need to do that. I would’ve wanted to support you in your recovery. I still do.” Tim insists, his eyes growing watery before he blinks furiously to rid himself of the tears.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, tears spilling down your cheeks and Tim wasted no time in pulling you into his arms, holding you carefully as if you’d fall apart in his arms if he wasn’t careful.

“You don’t need to apologise. I’m sorry for following you all the way here. I wasn’t thinking straight and I let my emotions get the better of me.” Tim apologises, continuing to blink his own tears away as he holds you.

“I should’ve just told you sooner. That’s on me.” You say, sniffling as you cling to Tim.

“Don’t blame yourself. You went through something I could never fathom. And I won’t press you for anything more if you’re not ready to.” Tim says as you begin to pull away slightly so you can look him in the eyes.

“It was so much and I didn’t know what to do. It was weeks after I got back that I finally asked for help.” You admit tearily, lifting a hand to wipe at your eyes.

“And that was so brave of you to do. It took Isabel over a year to accept any help and I offered any time I could to help. The fact you’ve gotten help this soon and worked on it is incredible.” Tim says, his smile gentle as he talks, encouraging you to give him a small, weak smile in response.

“Briggs has been a massive help through it all. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without him.” You admit, thinking of your friend and how much he had been willing to help you.

“Is that what’s been going on with you two? You’re not… together?” Tim asks, aware that he might be pushing but his curiosity and jealousy were gnawing at his stomach and he didn’t have time to process what he was saying before it left his lips.

“Definitely not. Briggs is like an older brother to me. He figured out what was going on with me and like I said, he’s been my support system through all this.” You explain, waving your hand dismissively as Tim’s eyes fall to the floor, a slight blush covering his cheeks in his embarrassment.

“Sorry, that was completely unnecessary of me to ask and it wasn’t the place or time,” Tim says, rambling to try and recover from what he had just said.

“I don’t mind. I can understand why it might look like we are together.” You say with a soft smile, shrugging lightly to let Tim know you didn’t hold any bad blood about his question. The two of you then fell into a comfortable silence, but you could tell there was something Tim wanted to say so you waited patiently for him to get his confidence, wondering what it was he wanted to say to you.

“Hey, this is probably the worst possible time to say this but I owe it to you to be honest. I got jealous seeing how close you and Briggs were recently. It reminded me of what I was missing after you got back from Mexico because we used to be close. Maybe my feelings for you were just fuelling my jealousy I don’t know.” Tim explains awkwardly, fumbling to find the right words as he looks everywhere but at you.

“Feelings for me?” You ask quietly, shocked that Tim had admitted such a thing when you’d gone so long assuming that he didn’t see you in a romantic light.

“Uh, yeah. I have feelings for you. And have done for quite a while now.” Tim admits quietly, finally finding the courage to focus on you once more.

“Well, I guess I can’t lie to you anymore. I have feelings for you too. But I don’t want to hurt you.” You say softly, wanting to be completely transparent with Tim.

“Why do you think you’d hurt me?” Tim asks, tilting his head slightly in his confusion as you bite your lip, trying to fight back tears at the mere thought of hurting Tim somehow.

“What if I relapse? I don’t want to remind you of what you went through with Isabel. On top of that, my job is dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” You explain your fears as Tim softens.

“If you relapse, I’ll be there to help you every step of the way. I promise. On top of that, yes, your job may be dangerous but it’s not like I have no idea what your job entails. Isabel used to work undercover so I know what can happen. I can protect myself. Neither of those reasons is enough to scare me off. If you want to, I’d like to try a relationship. We can go at your pace.” Tim says, his voice gentle but his words confident and strong. He wanted you to know that if you were all in, he was too. He wouldn’t let himself be scared off easily.

“Are you sure?” You ask quietly, longing to just accept Tim’s offer but your mind was getting the better of you, making you overthink.

“I’m positive. But it’s up to you.” Tim confirms, making sure you know where he stands.

“I’d like to try a relationship too.” You reply shyly, both of you smiling lightly at each other before Tim embraces you once more, neither one of you wanting to break the embrace until you hear the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you, making you pull away and look behind you, seeing Briggs stood behind you with his arms crossed.

“Are you ready to go?” Briggs asks with a quirked eyebrow, clearly noticing the shift in energy between you and Tim.

“I probably should head home. I think I’m ready to tell everyone else about what happened. They deserve to know.” You say over to Briggs, fighting back a frown when he lets out a disappointed sigh.

“y/n, I don’t know if you should tell them. You’ve already burdened a member of the LAPD with this secret. If you tell the others they’ll be forced to carry it too.” Briggs says, making Tim clench his jaw before he stands up from the bench. He crosses to Briggs as you leap up to follow him, not wanting to witness a potential punching match.

“Hey, you have no right to tell y/n who she can and can’t tell. I am not burdened with her secret. She’s trusting me with it and I’ll keep it like my life depends on it. If she trusts everyone else in the house why shouldn’t they know?” Tim states angrily, stopping his approach towards Briggs when you place a hand on his chest.

“Fine. She can do what she wants, but this isn’t the first time I’ve warned her.” Briggs says after a brief staring contest between the two men before gesturing for you to follow him so he can take you back to Graceland.

“I’ll bring her back.” Tim volunteers, sticking close to you.

“Okay then. I’m going to head back, the others are probably having a campfire so you can join us whenever you are ready.” Briggs says, his voice losing its harshness as he directs his words to you but you already know how much he disapproved of your wishes. After he walks off, climbing into his Bronco and driving off, Tim turns to you.

“Are you okay? He was really harsh.” Tim asks, his eyes studying you worriedly as you nod.

“I’m fine. That’s just Briggs. He wants to do what he can to protect Graceland and everyone in it.” You dismiss with a shrug, following Tim to his truck, getting in the passenger seat when the vehicle has been unlocked.

“He didn’t need to make it seem like your battle with addiction is a burden,” Tim mutters as he starts the engine, pulling out of the parking spot and beginning the drive to Graceland.

“He’s not entirely wrong. Secrets have burdens. I know telling people can be bad, to give them such a big secret for them to protect is a lot to ask.” You say, your eyes fixed on the window beside you, watching the streetlights zip past, creating a blur of light.

“Still, if they’re close friends, it makes sense for them to know.” Tim justifies, his eyes fixed on the road.

“We’ve always had a saying that there’s no secrets at Graceland… unless you’re Briggs. They deserve to know. I haven’t told them a thing about what happened in Mexico since I got back.” You say, feeling guilt tugging on your heartstrings for all the lies you’d told your friends.

“If you want, I can be there with you as moral support,” Tim says, taking a brief moment to glance at you before focusing on the road again.

“You’d do that?” You ask, a slight shock in your voice as you look over at Tim who nods.

“Of course, I would. I can’t imagine this is the easiest thing to talk about and you’re about to talk about it for the second time in one night. If you want me there, I’m there.” Tim says as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, making a small smile appear on your face at his willingness to support you.

“I’d like that.” You say, watching how a small smile tugs at the corner of Tim’s lips as he continues to drive.

When you arrive at Graceland, you notice your friends sitting around a campfire on the beach and you tell Tim to follow you, both of you making your way down to the beach where everyone greeted you and Tim enthusiastically.

“What can we do for you two?” Charlie asks as Tim sidles up alongside you.

“I needed to talk to you guys about something. I haven’t been completely honest with you all since I got back from Mexico.” You say, taking a shuddering breath as all eyes fall on you and as if it was instinctual, Tim reaches out and takes your hand in his, squeezing softly to show his silent support.

Listening to you explain what happened to you in Mexico made Tim’s heart hurt. He hated having to listen to the pain you had been through and how long you had tried to deal with it alone before Briggs realised what was going on. Tim wasn’t too keen on Briggs, but he’d always be grateful that he noticed what was going on with you and helped you through everything. By the time you had finished explaining everything, tears had flowed down your face and stained your cheeks. At first, no one said anything, and as you readied yourself to apologise and talk about moving out, everyone got up from their place around the fire and rushed over to you, trapping you in a group hug as Tim relinquished his hold on your hand and stepped back to let your friends support you.

“Thank you for telling us,” Charlie says softly, wiping at your cheeks with her thumbs to get rid of the fallen tears.

“Your secret is safe with us, girl.” Johnny then says, followed by murmurs of agreement from the other members of the group. Feeling comforted by the support of the others, you thank them all quietly as they pull away allowing Tim to step back towards you, wrapping an arm around your middle and pulling you close, a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others. You spend a few minutes talking with your friends, telling them how your recovery has been going. They seemed to respect that it wasn’t the time to enquire about Tim and what your relationship may be with him at the current moment. After chatting for a while, a yawn slips past your lips.

“I might have to call it a night, guys.” You say apologetically, bidding everyone goodnight as Tim escorts you to the back door of Graceland.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Tim asks quietly, taking your hand as he stands facing you.

“I’m not sure where I’ll be at work tomorrow, but if you want to see me after work I’m sure we can figure something out.” You reply with a smile, squeezing Tim’s hand as he smiles softly.

“Well, I do need to take you on our first official date,” Tim says with a raised eyebrow, making you laugh softly.

“You’ll have to tell me the plan tomorrow.” You say before getting the courage to lean in and press a soft kiss to Tim’s cheek.

“Goodnight, y/n,” Tim says softly, pulling you into a hug and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you whisper goodnight in response. When Tim pulls away, you both whisper one final goodnight before he backs off, making his way back to his truck as you make your way into the house, heading up to your room and wasting no time in getting ready for bed and climbing under your sheets with a smile. As you curled up in bed, you couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of relief, you’d gotten the courage to do something you thought was impossible and now you had a bigger support system than ever.

You’d be okay.

Tim Tags (comment or ask to be added):

@callsigns-haze @fore45fore @reignsboy19 @xi1dius @plutotcles @lives-in-midgard @mystical-258 @malindacath @cuntyvicodin @brewolfhowl @child-of-the-sunshine

[cozylittleartblog]

hi I just wanted to say thank you for your post about sheezy.art! I didn't know that existed, saw your post, checked the site out, signed up, and I am having so much fun so far! ...And being reminded how much stuff I missed from older internet days (I have started putting stamps on my profile. I forgot how much I loved stamps) - which is fun! Just... Thank you for sharing that existed! I never would have known otherwise and I'm so glad I know about this now??? :D

o7 I'M DOING MY PART TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF SHEEZYART. I hope they seriously up their marketing efforts once the site comes out of beta next January, this site seriously needs more people and I am not kidding when I say I want it to become the next deviantart. It really is just Deviantart But When It Was Good, the deviantart of my late 2000s and early 2010s childhood.

I do not like modern internet design at all, but sheezyart gets it all right. Even my very few nitpicks can be excused by the fact the website is in beta, and they're still working on getting everything up to their standards. I need to get more stamps on my profile, it is The Way Of The Art Websites. and the biggest perk is again they are very anti-AI so all the artists are Real !!!!!!!!!

tired of the rapid eshittification of the internet? join sheezyart. tired of websites selling you out to train AI datasets? join sheezyart. miss Old School Deviantart? join sheezyart. need a new art website that actually respects you as an artist? join sheezyart. love super advanced profile customization? join sheezyart. even if you're not an artist, join sheezyart, cuz every art website needs a non-artist demographic to enjoy our works!!

if we want alternatives to the corrupt self-serving social media platforms, we have to support their competitors and help them get off the ground, so that one day they may have enough support to stand face-to-face with them.

everyone join sheezyart and then tell your friends to join it too

my username is Cozy if any of y'all want to follow me if you do!!!

[the-kingshound]

Warning inane ramble incoming, it’ll probably be annoying I apologize. (*_ _)人 I spent the last several days reading every post here. I managed to convince myself to start liking some (sorry about that I’m sure it was annoying to get all those notifications) I have this weird thing where I get nervous about liking older posts cuz I mean it’s been a long time and it’s unprompted so that’s weird right? It feels weird like I’m doing something wrong or I’m being annoying, I considered reblogging too but somehow that felt worse? Sorry I am not good with social rules they confuse me both on and offline Idk my brain is wrong and I’m just a nervous socially anxious snail. (＞﹏＜)

Anyways just wanted to gush about how much I love it here and I’m never leaving (´꒳`) ♡ First and foremost Yniol has a special place in my heart they will forever be my favorite bestie (*＾ω＾)人(＾ω＾*), yes I am biased as my partner is grey and though they don’t play IFs they were thrilled to learn about your character! Also your writing is just phenomenal, your fans are fun and creative, your characters give such warm and positive energy I love them so much they’re perfect, the inclusivity is such chefs kiss ( ´ з `) 🤌🏻✨, the angst is delicious, the fluff is so sweet and comforting, the spice is ... very blush-worthy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄). This has been a journey I laughed, I cried, I giggled, and I blushed and I have enjoyed every bit of it from pasta discourse to Moldien cult wars to Arthur bunnies, I’ve had the most wonderful time. Now my mind is gonna be filled with Arthurian stuff for months my maladaptive daydreaming is having the time of its life I have a road trip next week and I’m so looking forward to just staring out a window for 6+hours while my Hound's just alternating daydream adventures with the cast o(≧▽≦)o. Also speaking of your amazingly wonderful, sweet, and supportive cast I have decided my (though I love them all) favorite poly pairings are Arthur/Morien and whole crew polycule I’d sell my soul for those but I 100% understand why you can’t really do that. I don’t think I have the endurance in me to code a single poly no matter how much I wish it so the fact you’re doing any let alone several is just god tier you are awe inspiring.

Alas I have rambled far far to much I wish I could be more eloquent in expressing just how much I enjoyed experiencing all of this but for now this is the best I can do (╥ω╥). Thank you for sharing your wonderful work it’s truly a gift to experience. ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧ I wish you wealth, health, and all the best in all your creative endeavors. -🐌

No, please please do not apologize. You made my entire week <3 This ask is straight up going into the folder where i keep my motivation to write and to be just a little proud of my work, thank you so so much for sending it.

For anyone having the same thoughts about liking or reblogging old posts: please do it. When I see the notifications, get very giddy and pleased, and I hope you are enjoying the food. Liking, and especially reblogging things, even more so if you add tags and reactons, not only fills me with glee but it also reminds me of old asks that I want to reblog again for new followers. So yeah, I love it, please feel free to go on a liking/reblogging spree!

You are so relatable for the maladaptive daydreaming (this game was absolutely born out of my own mental movies), I wish I could speed up the writing and editing for the next update so you can read it while you travel but I'm afraid it's a lost cause (I have been working on things, even now, but I am currently rewriting like half of it and while it is way better it takes sooo much time and energy). Knowing my characters and story are in someone's thoughts it the best kind of reward I need. I will never likely monetise this game, so this is the thing I wish to leave people with, and I hope the characters can be comforting and keep you company <3

You have no idea how much I would love to write the full polycule... maybe one day :,) But don't lose hope for the Arthur/Morien poly yet, as I decided to cancel the Gwyar/Morien poly and now I have a potentially free slot. In any case, awww, please know that this ask made me so happy today and will be in my thoughts as tkh is in yours.

Please have a lovely day and a lovely week and also a very lovely trip! Thank you again so so much!!

[punkeccentricenigma]

Hey, could I request headcanons about the boys' reactions to Reader giving them a Candy Ring?

Reader gives Rise!boys a Candy Ring

Relationship status: Platonic

Reader prounouns: They/Them

TW: Short, Some grammatical errors because english is not my first language.

Author's note: My first request, yay! I hope you'll like it. Honestly, I don't recall them selling such candy rings in my country, at least when I was a little shit-kid. But in elementary school, I used to buy something similar, but it was more like pacifiers for children than rings. It was awesome and cheap.

Leonardo

◇It's probably clear that you deliberately chose the blue candy ring for him. He adores that color so much that you're not even sure if he can wear anything in a different color.

◇Knowing his playful nature, before giving him the candy, you knelt dramatically in front of him when you were playing a random game you found at the nearby dump.

◇"Hm? I knew you had a thing for me, but to propose right away? I feel honored." Typical smirk ™

◇He joyfully accepted the gift, and as you might expect, he started sucking on it. By the way, you didn't hold back on immature jokes, lmao.

◇But that's not all; the next day, Leonardo bought you three candy rings in your favorite colors.

◇He felt a bit awkward receiving gifts without giving something in return.

Raphael

◇Today, you were in a great mood, so without holding back, you went to visit your turtle friends to spend time with them and share the sweets you recently bought.

◇Since Raph was currently in the main area of the Lair, skateboarding around, you gave him the candy ring first.

◇"Uh, thanks?" He responded uncertainly, taking the red crystal from you. The ring was definitely too small for his mutated fingers.

◇A look of embarrassment crossed your face. Did you do something wrong? Or maybe the eldest of the brothers didn't feel like seeing you today? Apparently, your concern was more noticeable than you thought because Raph continued to speak.

◇"I really appreciate it, [Y.N]! But, you know, I'm not a kid anymore, you don't have to buy me stuff like this, hah."

◇Oh, that's what it was about! "I know, Raph, but I just wanted to show how much I care about you guys."

◇Those words triggered a warm feeling deep inside him and brought a smile to his face.

Donatello

◇"Oh, Donnie~! One of your favorite people is here!"

"Damn, please no."

◇Did you have to enter Donnie's lab in such a way? No. But did you want to be as annoying as possible for your own amusement? Absolutely!

◇"I have something for you!" And you placed a purple candy ring wrapped in foil on his desk.

◇The only response you got was a skeptical look and the words, "What do you want in return?"

◇Your brave smile faded, and your mind started overthinking. Maybe you should have just walked in normally instead of acting like Leo?

◇"Um, nothing. I don't want anything in return."

◇Oh boy, it was really an awkward situation.

◇ "I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me as a close friend." His stern gaze didn't help maintain eye contact. "Are you mad at me? I can bring something else if you want!"

◇He blinked a few times, leaning back slightly in his chair; it looked like his mind went through some sort of reset.

◇His eyes also softened but were somewhat embarrassed.

◇"No, I'm not, sorry." He began, focusing on the candy as he took it into his hand. "I've just had my mind swamped with new projects lately."

◇He felt a little embarrassed, so he unwrapped the candy ring without hesitation and started eating it.

◇His posture immediately sharpened, and his face brightened. Obviously, he enjoyed it.

Michelangelo

◇There's not much to say here, to be honest.

◇As perhaps not the only one, he reacted with joy to the free candy.

◇"I can't believe it, it's my favorite! How did you know?"

◇The orange color says it all, lmao.

◇He'll definitely convince you to buy many more of these goodies (of course, he'll chip in too, he doesn't like using his friends like that), and you'll have them on just to pretend to be "rich people."



[sleepnoises]

hi! apologies if you've been asked this before, but do you have any advice for first time online store owners? i'm thinking about opening one to sell sculptures of my own but i've got no idea where to start, and was wondering if you had any tips to share.

anyways, i love your charming little clay fellows and i hope you have an excellent new year 🤎

i may have been asked it but i can always answer again! tagging this with "clay ask" so you can review past answers

tips:

it's fine to start small and go slow and not optimize everything right away. sculptures are a luxury good and they will usually not immediately start flying off the shelves.

that said: it's nice to track what time you're spending on what. just block it out on google calendar after you're done so you can tot it up at a later time. this tip is super hypocritical but i've done it in the past

i use and like big cartel for my storefront. it doesn't have the fees of etsy or the will sell your stuff twice if people buy it really fast of storenvy. it also doesn't have the discoverability of either, so you'll have to try harder on other social media, but it's a worthwhile tradeoff for me. i don't know anything about shopify and i won't learn

i like pirate ship for shipping labels; it talks directly to big cartel (and a lot of other storefronts!), gets good rates, lets you preview hypothetical packages to check shipping costs, and lets you save package presets. i have a shipping label printer but you should be fine with a regular printer + packing tape.

try to make some reliable size classes of sculpture so you can use a few package settings and not recalculate shipping every time

i try not to buy shipping material from uline because they love trump soooooo soo much. if you have anything local, that's generally a smart call for last minute supply runs, especially because shipping on boxes is spendy. i like upaknship.com for jazzy bubble mailers. i haven't researched their politics but at least they aren't uline

do not put anything particularly delicate in a bubble mailer. i assume you can guess this but a friend once mailed me a plant pot in like. a plastic bag with some shredded paper. so i don't trust what people know about distribution of force in packaging.

you want pressure to be pretty evenly distributed. you don't want anything to be able to twist or bend or snap or rub against itself. you want your packed mailers and boxes to not make any noise when you shake them or to "clunk!" when you drop them on a table from a foot or two up. if you're worried about dropping them that far you have not packed them right.

people will often give you packaging materials if you say you're collecting them

it's nice to have a tape gun... i inherited mine from a childhood neighbor who was a wonderful lesbian

take very careful notes on expenses and income. expect about 25% of $ that comes in to go to taxes (i'm in CA, this might vary)

have a cute logo :) just for fun

these are my THOUGHTS. enjoy!!

[utilitycaster]

What are some of your favourite podcasts / podcast recs?

It's hard to pick a favorite though I will say at the moment Midst is the one I think I look forward to the most, so I'm just going to go through basically all podcasts I currently or relatively recently previously listened to and sort them by rough genre. Note that as with all recommendation requests it helps to know the vibe of what you're going for and what's important to you (I know I just was like hey I'll take most music recs but the commitment for music is like the length of a song, whereas podcasts/books/movies/tv are a bit more time put in)

Actual Play:

Longtime listener of NADDPod and TAZ which I'm guessing if you follow me you are broadly aware of but if not feel free to ask more; I also post about Worlds Beyond Number enough that you might know what it is. I checked out Burnt Cookbook party a while ago both because I liked Jenna Stoeber's work with Polygon and because someone asked me for Actual Play podcast-only recs with more than one woman or nb player that weren't RQG and I was like oh I should find some. Anyway it's quite good! it's definitely lower production values than bigger podcasts but the plot is highly original and really good, the vibes are fantastic, the characters are a lot of fun, and all in all worth checking out. I also do listen to the Re-Slayer's Take which I've really enjoyed! Everyone's good but while I was familiar with (and a fan of) Jasmine Bhullar and Jasper William Cartwright's work, Jasmine Chiong as Farah speaks to the Grouchy Old Hunter Woman fan in me and has been a personal standout. It is very heavily edited, which does take some getting used to. Also, I mentioned RQG (Rusty Quill Gaming). It comes with the caveat of "very good but slow to start and then doesn't really stick the landing, imo, though the epilogues help" but I can recommend with that warning.

Scripted Fiction

Camlann. Modern post-apocalyptic Arthuriana/Folklore of the British Isles, with some hints of other folklore as well. 1 season; hoping they get funding for a second because it was very well done and also I want Gwen and Morgan to kiss.

Midst. Hard to describe but if you follow me you've seen a lot of posts that might help. Extremely good! About to finish in a bit over a week's time! Check it out and I advice you check out the first 3 episodes at once to get a feel for it; the three-narrator thing is also "get used to it and it will be fine".

The Penumbra Podcast. Originally envisioned as an anthology podcast but then two specific settings (noir-y space opera and medieval court monster hunters) were very popular. Also nearing its end.

The Silt Verses. Quite literally everything on this list would be described as "New Weird" and "has queer characters" and this is maybe the New Weirdest. Anyway, set in a world where gods are real, require human sacrifice to live, and society is both very complicit and also uses the gods to sell shit. I think people who are mad about D20 or CR not being explicitly political enough should listen to it. Extremely good. Also in its endgame, but they've had a very drawn out schedule as of late.

Welcome to Night Vale. You are on Tumblr; presumably you know the drill. I can't say I'm like...super following what happens but it's one of those things that's been a constant in my life for over a decade and takes up a very pleasant hour-ish per month. This feels like damning with faint praise but the earlier stuff was great and it's still strong, it's just, you know, the inevitable slowness of an indefinitely long slice-of-life-ish show vs. the more plot-driven ones above.

Within the Wires. By one of the Night Vale Creators. I have a post about it but it's set on an alternate history Earth where a cataclysmic war/plague/various other bad things absolutely destroyed the population in the early 1900s, leading to a very different global society. Some people say the seasons are very uneven in quality. They are incorrect. The seasons follow different people and all are in the form of found audio, so they are all quite different, but it's entirely a matter of personal preference if you like a season or not; it's not that some are Objectively Better.

Wolf 359 finished a long time back and I haven't relistened since my original listen in like...2018, but of "podcasts that have finished" it's worth it. Weird space stuff.

Informative(?)

Home Cooking by Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat; was a pandemic project that now only airs yearly, really, but worth checking out if you like cooking.

I found out about Home Cooking via Song Exploder, which is just Hrishikesh Hirway talking about songs. Great podcast; the editing is fascinating and I have found a lot of good music from it!

I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats. Has only two seasons but they are both very good if you like The Mountain Goats as a band.

No Such Thing as a Fish: the QI (British quiz show) (if you're British you know this better than I do) researches talk about weird facts and riff on them.

Sawbones: Justin McElroy and his wife Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy talk about weird medical history and dumb wellness trends on tiktok. This is one of the earliest podcasts I subscribed to back when I did not drive nearly as much.

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Has also completed and there's a book that's basically covering the same ground. It's not like, purely informative; it's very anecdotal (as is I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats) but I learned a lot from it.

Honorable mention: I just didn't have the time or energy to keep up with Ologies by Alie Ward but what I listened to was fun and interesting and my sibling is a big fan.

Comedy and Miscellany:

Beef and Dairy Network: also British, on the Max Fun network with the McElroys. Fucking weird. I debated putting this in the scripted fiction because it's basically "what if Welcome to Night Vale was a little less story focused but still had throughlines and was specifically about the cattle industry in some absurdist alternate version of our world" but stuck with comedy bc the absurdity outstrips the plot. It's weird!

My Brother, My Brother, and Me: you probably know this one; either you love it or you don't.

My Dad Wrote a Porno: also British and from what I understand a bigger deal over there. Has uh. reached completion, in that they decided they were done, but the books apparently go on (sorry Rocky I'm not buying them). A guy and his two good friends read and roast his father's self-published erotica e-books about Belinda Blumenthal, Pots and Pans saleswoman, ft. bad accents, corporate espionage, and, of course, The Duchess.

The Empty Bowl: Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert of Cerealously's ASMR podcast about cereal. legitimately has helped me calm down when anxious at night. I am not even a big cereal eater it's just entertaining and chill.

Anyway any other podcasts I have listened to I've either forgotten, weren't good enough to recommend, just disappeared without any conclusion [*cough* king falls am] or involve way more reservations than I am willing to go into without knowing more about what you are looking for.

[mcromwell]

Ayo! New follower here. I love your art and your mind set of just messing around to make cool stuff. but I’ve also seen you love been to at least one convention (I didn’t scroll far enough to see more about conventions) and I wanted to ask. How you did it? I really enjoy making art and I would love to make it a career so this boils down to :

how did you do it? And how can I do it too?

not just like first steps but what happens after that? I’m young enough that if this doesn’t work out I have plenty of time to look into other careers before worrying about paying for rent or necessities with money from my future occupation. I know that everyone’s experience is different but I still hoping you can give me a somewhat clear answer.

thank you for inspiring me

(sorry this ask was so long)

Hello there! Thank you for your message.

These questions are large and hard to answer. Being more specific in your questions helps. "How I did it" is very... large in scope. That question could be answered just by saying, "I did it by never wanting anything else and never losing sight of my goal." But that doesn't help you much. So I'll just try to touch on some key points and contexts.

I'm 32. Only in the last couple years has my practice been enough to make a living doing it. I've always wanted this and literally everything I've done in my life has been to get here. I've worked two jobs my entire working life (age 19-now): retail/customer service and art stuff on the side. Because of the pandemic, I got double unemployment and stimulus checks, which became my initial investment into merch and savings safety net to get started. I started therapy to address my fears of asking for help, my negative self-talk, and catastrophic thinking. (Therapy has helped me with my art so much.) Then I was laid off for real in 2020 and hit the ground running with art. I split rent with roommates, I live very very cheaply, and art is my passion. If art for a living is what you want to do and you're happy to make lots of concessions to get it, this career works. It takes a while to get momentum and regular sales/attention-- just don't quit. The more stuff you do the more people will recognize you and like your work.

It would be dishonest to not address my privilege here, too. My parents have always emotionally supported my practice, my friends too, and I got to go to art school with no debt. I did outside of school art mentorships. My art education experiences taught me a lot of art techniques and self-employed skills and that only happened due to the support of my folks. I had resources a lot of people don't. (Which is why I want to help new artists learn this stuff as much as I can; not everyone is as lucky as I am.)

My advice for you if you want to do what I do, which is being self-employed making and selling art and art merchandise for a living:

Get used to making concessions right at first. Your art career will probably not start out gangbusters, so get used to low sales and saving money and working hard. Make things within your means and grow from there.

Fuck around and find out. Try making merch, try making videos, try things you see other artists doing, try everything and see if it works for how you like to make stuff. I learn so much from YouTube, to be totally honest. Artists are good sharers.

Follow a shit ton of artists and see what works for them. Join artist groups and ask thoughtful, specific questions to learn from those already doing it.

Learn how to write about your art. Write about why you make it. It helps make it more compelling to others. "How to Sell Your Art Online" by Cory Huff is a good book to read for tips on this.

Develop a healthy relationship with art-making. If you sit down at a blank page and it terrifies you: address that first. Don't try to start a business if you're still struggling with making art regularly.

In fact, don't start a business until you're really ready. Art comes first. You can easily do art and build skills and do commissions and run an online shop along with working a job that pays bills reliably while you grow into the artist you're meant to be.

Don't pigeon-hole yourself into only one channel: don't JUST apply to cons, try street fairs too. Don't JUST sell online, get your work into cafes as well. You'll see which routes are more profitable/worth the time as you try them out. Eggs in many baskets, you know.

There's probably a whole essay I could write on this. And you're right--mileage varies between person to person vastly. The part of the world you live in, your access to transportation, education, your mental health, what type of work you like to make, etc. Art careers almost never look the same 1:1 even in fandom spaces like furry/anime. If you're self-made, it will reflect that.

I recommend the YouTube channels Rafi Was Here, Robin Sealark, Cat Graffam, and the website The Abundant Artist (again by Cory Huff) for more resources.

Don't be afraid to take leaps of faith. Try everything. Be true to what works for you and what doesn't feel sustainable. Be authentic with your art and stay true to your interests. And good luck.

[genericpuff]

Winter is Coming - Rekindled schedule adjustment and plans for next year!

So it's that time of year now when conventions, markets, and expos for next year are rolling out their submission periods. So far I've gotten accepted to attend the Atlantic Entertainment Expo again (both venues so two shows), MiraCon, and I'm gonna be attending not one, not two, but THREE tattoo expos ! Which is definitely a lot, but I'm excited, it's gonna be good publicity and good money :' ) I'm also gonna be applying to HalCon, Geekquinox, and Animaritimes again, I didn't get in on HalCon this year and didn't find out about Geekquinox until submissions were done (and I only got in on Animaritimes at the last minute when they were looking for people to fill in) but if I do get into any (or all) of those, I'll have to play the fun game of "make sure none of these events land on the same weekend" LMAO

All that's to say, it's gonna be busy next year! (and all of those are the ones I actually decided to apply to, there are ones I did this past year that I'm not planning on doing again because they just didn't turn out to be as good as I had hoped). Thankfully, none of this is starting up until spring, so I'm gonna enjoy the winter off and get to work on new stuff to sell. I'm really eager to get through the rest of [AFTERBIRTH], it's still got quite some time until it's done but my plan is to pitch Thread of Fate to publishers once [AFTERBIRTH] is finished - and if it's not able to get in with those publishers, then I'm gonna pursue other means in getting it published, either digitally or traditionally. Time Gate is a series I've been working on for well over a decade of my life, and it's not something I want to keep throwing to the wolves of free-to-read platforms like WT. As much as I love being able to offer it for free, I want it to be taken more seriously than being just another free to read comic and that starts with me and how I choose to distribute it.

Right now working on all these things is sort of limiting due to the fact that I'm stuck on my iPad, but I'm making it work as best I can and I'm hoping to have the new PC setup going by the end of the year running with a new tablet (currently shopping around between an XP-pen and Huion, I don't want to get a Kamvas 22 Plus again if it's gonna shit the bed in 2 years like this one did, apparently this is a common problem from what I've seen :/)

So yeah, with all that in mind, I'm planning on adjusting Rekindled's update schedule. While I did initially want to offer a poll for y'all to choose between "shorter updates once a week" and "full updates once every 2 weeks", frankly I'm erring more towards the "every two weeks" one because it'll give me more actual time and room to work on everything else. Not to mention (and I'm sure you've all noticed by now) that I have a very specific way that I structure many of these episodes so making them shorter would sort of ruin that rhythm. I don't want to be sacrificing the comic's quality, pacing, or narrative progression for a schedule adjustment.

This isn't going to be an immediate change, I'm thinking of doing this sometime in December so that y'all can have a decent amount of heads up before the switch. I know it's gonna be a little painful to go to a slower release schedule but ultimately I think it's the best way to go so that I can balance all of the projects I have going on without sacrificing quality. Rekindled may be a free to read non-profit project, but I still hold myself to high standards and I want to do my best to deliver on those standards !

Thank you all so much for your patience and support. It seriously blows me away to see all of the wonderful comments, asks, and support for what I do here every day. I'm gonna do my best as well to respond to asks in my inbox as they come in, but please just know I get a LOT of them on a regular basis, it's sort of a Hydra situation where I respond to 1 or 2 and then get 4 more LOL That said, rest assured that I do read and appreciate each and every one of them <3 That also includes essay posts about LO, with LO returning in November I'll surely have more stuff to say about it so I'm gonna try and keep up as best I can :' )

On a final note, we're coming up to the one year anniversary of when I started posting actual episodes of Rekindled!! I'm so excited for this, I can't believe it's been a year!! And I have so much awesome stuff planned for the story that we're gonna see throughout the next year, I can't wait! Thanks so much for being a part of this project with me, I couldn't have asked for a better audience <3

(P.S. everything I have lined up for next year is lining up with the dry period for FF XIV between Endwalker and Dawntrail so I won't have distractions until the summer LMAOO)

[emo-toaster]

Look at that! I'm back with chapter 2 already! I guess you guys gave me some motivation to finally start writing more of this story. I hope the 2nd Chapter will not disappoint! I'll be posting some art soon so you can imagine the characters better while reading!

Warning!: English is my second language. If you find any errors in my writing, please understand. I used autocorrect to help me with my grammar and spelling, so I'm deeply sorry if any mistakes were made. Dyslexia + writing in a second language = challenging task (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

But besides that, enjoy!!!

✦————————————————————————✦

✦————————————————————————✦

Beauty and the Beast

Miko's attempt at writing the 2nd chapter.

✦————————————————————————✦

Chapter 2: This world is full of surprises.

✦————————————————————————✦

The forest was so quiet…even birds wouldn't make a sound. The old merchant, known more as your father, slowly walked through the deep, dark woods, pulling a cart with his creations inside. He was supposed to get into the capital and sell his products, but the seemingly right path wouldn't lead him anywhere. This definitely wasn't his best journey, on the way here from home a few boxes already got lost due to him being deep in his thoughts. That was certainly a shame, he'll get less money if he has less merchandise, but going back to find the lost items would be too time consuming, so it was better to just keep going. Your father was a strange man sometimes, he was a perfectionist but could also be messy and forgetful, he would say one thing and then do the other. Seems like it could just run in the family, but it wasn't a flaw, at least for you. Stuff like this built character, that's for sure.

It was slowly getting colder and colder, which was odd since it was the middle of June. At some point the old man could hear delicate crunching underneath his geta, just to look down and see a tiny bit of…snow?

“What's wrong with this path…” He muttered out, shaking his head and continuing to walk. Maybe he just picked the wrong way? Maybe, because the environment began slightly changing, with the plants growing there becoming rather like those you'll find in the mountain area. That was suspicious, but maybe it wasn't? Your father many times admitted that he always has this feeling that he's doing something wrong just for it to be nothing more than a simple suspicion in the end. Well, even if he went the wrong way, it doesn't mean he won't find wealthy customers that will be willing to buy his beautiful music boxes.

Slowly, more snow started appearing. It all felt a bit off, and perhaps it should be alarming, but your old man unfortunately had a lot of optimism in himself and would continue his journey. With more and more time passing, the cart was getting harder to pull. The woods grew deeper and darker, silence was almost eerie and it made even the simplest sounds like breaking a branch or going through the bushes utterly terrifying.

In the distance, there was a faint howling audible. This was certainly weird, wolves were supposed to be extinct in Japan. Of course, maybe a few were still around, and this place seemed to be fully claimed by nature. This path was definitely abandoned, so the old man's suspicions were right, he did get a bit lost. Well, it seems that's enough for today, it's better to just turn around and find the right path instead of wandering around like a helpless child. The merchant was about to go back but…there was no path. Perhaps he came down from it, walking through a new area instead? No, he could've sworn that a path was there just minutes ago. The man didn't get much time to think, because a low growl was audible in the bushes. Maybe it was a fox or something similar, it couldn't be a wolf, right? It wasn't worth the risk, especially when he was pulling a cart with his precious music boxes inside. The old man quickly walked away, slowly speeding up whenever he felt like something could follow him. This was all a disaster, if he gets lost in the woods instead of selling his music boxes, he'll be disappointing his dearest child. That wouldn't do, even if Y/N would understand, the man wouldn't bear to come back empty handed. He'll think of something for sure, in situations like this people tend to have the best ideas.

The growling wasn't audible ever again after that, so it was probably safe. The old man didn't know why this creature, whatever animal it was in the end, wouldn't follow him anymore. He quickly understood why though. Before man there was a heavy gate connected to a thick wall, protecting an even more impressive Castle. The place was huge, yet looked almost abandoned. To the man's surprise, the gate was opened. The presence of a huge palace in the woods was mysterious enough, no one in their right mind would enter, but as they said, your father wasn't in his right mind. The now thick snow made a satisfying crunch as the old man walked through the gate, pulling his cart and leaving it next to the wall as he himself walked further, exploring the courtyard. It was so quiet, the only sound was the howling wind as snow fell down from the sky. All this in the middle of June! It was so cold outside, the old man was wearing only a thin yukata so the low temperature made it even worse for him.

To the merchant's surprise once more, the main door was open as well! It wasn't protected by anyone or anything, the locks were loose, just waiting for the door to be opened.

“I shouldn't, this place is probably occupied…” The man muttered, but then once again, someone wealthy had to live in this palace. He could possibly sell his music boxes and come back home with a lot of money for him and his child! The old man gently knocked on the door, and when there was no answer, he slowly walked in.

Inside there was darkness, everything was so quiet. The man stepped inside, slowly taking in his surroundings. The palace was beautifully furnished with both Japanese and western furniture, trinkets and other gizmos. On a low table there was a candelabra and a clock, both beautifully crafted, probably by a western master due to their complex form and detailed look.

“A work of art, truly…” The merchant muttered before picking up the candelabra, slowly examining it before his eyes fell on the beautifully crafted clock, also admiring it's painting, details and the mechanism. The man looked at both items in awe before hearing a noise in the distance, which made him put the candelabra back to it's original spot and move towards another room, looking for anyone he could talk to.

“You heard that? He called me a work of art…” The candelabra chuckled quietly before an annoyed sigh came from the clock.

“Exactly, and works of art don't utter a word.” The clock huffed immediately, which earned another melodic chuckle from the candelabra.

“That's why you're speaking as well, I presume, Akaza-dono~” The candelabra giggled before immediately silencing itself when the old man turned his head towards them again with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hello, is anyone—...there?” The man hummed, not seeing nor hearing anyone or anything. He shrugged it off, slowly stepping further into the castle.

Maybe this place was just playing pranks on him? The old man wasn't sure. He could've sworn that he heard someone! But he was alone in the end. Before he even knew it, the man made it to another room, the dining hall it seemed. The room was beautifully furnished as well, with western and Japanese furniture once again. Oh, someone rich had to live there if they could get themselves so much western furniture. On the table there was one, hot meal. Steamed rice, fish, soup on the side and even some sweets! At this sight the old merchant could feel his stomach rumbling, but he knew better than to take someone's meal without permission, so he helped himself to some tea instead. The man gently took the teapot, pouring some tea to the cup before…the cup slid across the table on it's own towards the man.

“What the—” Your father gulped softly before looking at the teapot which also moved!

“Would you like some sugar? It goes great with black tea, people from the west add sugar to it— it tastes great, you can trust me!” The teapot chimed softly before looking up at the terrified merchant.

“Oh, I'm sure, but you see, ma'am, I think I forgot something from my cart…” The man answered calmly before quickly rushing out of the room and running through the dark hallway towards the main entrance as fast as an old man can run.

“Ah, Kotoha my dearest, it seems like you spooked the guy.” The candelabra chuckled, slowly making it's way to the dining room and onto the table, not being able to hold his soft laughter at the sight.

“Oh, what a shame, I was hoping he'll stay for dinner.” Kotoha answered with a small sigh, sounding clearly disappointed.

“Oh, don't be silly, maybe he's really ‘’getting something he forgot from the cart'.” Douma joked again, letting out another stream of chuckles before getting a punch from akaza.

“Let's hope not. It's enough that he entered without permission. I hope the man just leaves and doesn't bring trouble.” The clock, Akaza huffed with a stern look on his face.

“Ah, you're no fun these days, you're truly hurting me, Akaza-dono…” The candelabra whined dramatically, throwing himself down onto the table like an offended diva.

.

.

.

As the old merchant neared his cart, his legs were already hurting. Maybe he was really getting too old for this? Well, he'll have to remember the path to the castle, so that he'll never come across it again. That teapot was alive! As your father slowly made it to the gate he remembered something. Roses. Roses grew on the castle grounds. He promised you a rose when he comes back. He already didn't make it to any town, not even one music box has been sold, he failed at everything else, so he won't at least fail at delivering his dearest child a flower. The old man slowly stepped away from the cart, going towards the rose bushes. How did those even bloom here? It was so cold and there was snow all around the castle! It was truly magical, this whole place had to be cursed at some point.

The old man didn't dwell on this any longer, he just stepped closer to the bush, slowly reaching out for one of the flowers and plucking it.

“There we go…this will do.” He muttered, looking at the flower he just took before hearing a low growl behind him. The old man turned around just to see a tall, skinny figure jumping down from some high point right in front of him.

“Good for you…good for you. A cart full of goods, probably a warm home is waiting for you to come back…you have it good man, you know…?” A raspy, croaky voice said as the creature neared the man. Even if this thing was hunching, it was still towering over the merchant.

“You have so much, man, yet you still came to steal from me…oh that's unforgivable!” A wild scream left the thing's throat as a rough, veiny hand grabbed the old man by his yukata, lifting him up angrily

“No, I'm sorry, I didn't know— I would never—” Your father stuttered, trying to apologize. His eyes slowly wandered at the other's face, looking at those down-turned, bloodshot eyes. Those eyes felt so inhuman as the warm yellow sclera, with lime and red iris shone in the darkness with a menacing glow.

“What'cha staring at, eh?” The creature growled, squeezing the man's clothing even tighter. It seemed to just grow more and more angry with every second as the old man couldn't get his eyes away.

“Ah…so you came here to stare at me? Oh…I hate people like you— I can't stand it!” He roared out as his other hand clawed at his face. Only then the old man could see the face of his oppressor, which made him gasp in horror at what he saw. This seemed to anger the being even more as it harshly dragged the old man into the castle, not listening to his screams nor pleas…nor cries.

✦————————————————————————✦

Father and to be busy. Maybe he was living his best life, selling as many music boxes as possible? You wondered what could've happened, father didn't come back yet, and you started to worry. Days were passing so slowly when you were alone. Avoiding Kaigaku became even more challenging. For some reason he grew more and more stubborn, and it was slowly becoming annoying. What could you do? The person who'd usually give you advice was gone right now and it was slowly driving you crazy.

You could swear that you'll go crazy if everything will stay like this. The days were all the same and it was awful! As if life was playing a cruel prank on you, very slowly bringing in more and more torture. You began losing all hope before there was a knock on the door! Father! Father came back for sure!

You rushed to the door, getting excited that your parent finally came back from his journey. You opened the door, smiling happily and…

“Oh, someone seems happy to see me.” Kaigaku chuckled softly, proudly sticking out his chest and smirking. Oh no, not this again.

“Kaigaku—” you began saying, but you were quickly silenced by him.

“Ah, no need for all this. I came with an offer. See, my training has been getting successful, I'm getting high in life, slowly becoming a powerful samurai…one or two years and I'll be at the top as an honorable warrior…and every warrior needs their person of honor, no?” Kaigaku hummed, smirking at you as he took a step closer.

“Say, what?” You muttered, obviously dumbfounded before backing into your house. Kaigaku followed you in, kicking off his zōri and looking around the house as he continued talking.

“Picture this…me coming back home from a long, awesome journey, full of slaying dangerous beasts and enemies, and there would be you, waiting for me with a basket of peaches and dinner already waiting for me at the table…” He hummed as he followed you when you still stepped backwards. Honestly, just thinking about your future looking like that made you cringe.

“Just you, me…maybe some kids too, who knows. You know, I'm truly worried for you! I don't want you to end up like poor lady Tamayo, with nothing going on for her, living alone in a small shack, amfar away from the village...” He added. Oh no, no, no, this was the worst idea you've ever heard. As Kaigaku neared you, you slowly dodged, going back to the door and leaning against it.

“Oh, this sounds so interesting, I don't know what to say…” you answered as Kaigaku leaned in with a small smile.

“Just say we'll get married, hm?” He answered, leaning in even more…

“Oh, truly, that's a really nice offer but…oh, Kaigaku, I just don't deserve you!” You answered before swiftly dodging him and sliding the door open, making Kaigaku fall out of your house before the door was shut behind him once again.

Zenitsu, who followed Kaigaku here of course, couldn't help but chuckle softly, but when Kaigaku stared daggers into him, Zenitsu immediately cowered, running away, knowing what was coming. You probably got lucky, because Kaigaku immediately chased after Zenitsu, shouting at him in anger.

Seems like you've just dodged a bullet. A soft sigh left your lips as you walked out of the house through the second door in the back. There was still no trace of your father. But, when he'll come back everything will be better…he has to come back— or you'll have to really get hitched with Kaigaku, which sounded like a literal nightmare.

The blades of grass danced softly on the gentle wind as you walked through the less crowded parts of the village, slightly getting away from it to find some peace of mind. The sun fell onto the rice fields in the distance as clouds swam through the blue sky like little pieces of cotton on a lazy river. There had to be something waiting for you out there, something more than this simple, provincial life where there were limited options for happiness. As your hair danced on the find you could just feel yourself begging for something to happen, for something more to come your way! This couldn't be all this world had in store for you, there had to be more, and if there indeed wasn't, you'll go get it yourself! People are alive to do great things, this world has so much to offer and it's just waiting to be discovered by someone! There's no way that in all this there wasn't something that was waiting just for you…there had to be. Right? You began to doubt yourself a little before you stopped walking as your feet hit something hard.

A box. One of the boxes that had your father's music boxes inside— he dropped it? Before you knew it you could see another one in the distance. The lost boxes had to create a small trail, so perhaps they'd lead you to your father? Besides, it would be good to collect them anyway, once father comes back, he'll be able to sell those too later. You gathered up all your courage and determination, picking up the first box and rushing towards the next one. Slowly stepping into the dark forest. Whatever is in those woods, it better brace itself, because you're on the way to get your father back home.

✦—���——————————————————————✦

And with that, chapter 2 is over! I don't know how many chapters will be there in total, but I'll try to make them a bit longer since I want you to enjoy the story to the fullest! Also, I want you guys to fully grasp the idea that I have in mind.

With all that said, have a nice day/night!

[alectoperdita]

i don’t know how this could be conveyed in fic, but i’m always thinking about kaiba filming promos and what not for tournaments/dm stuff and he makes snarky jokes about jounouchi’s presence but the camera keeps zooming in his face to emphasize the adoration and glee on his face when he sees jou do /any/thing. but kaiba is not selfaware. he reviews the footage wondering why the cameras keep recording his reaction during jou’s duels instead of the audience. they want u 2 notice something, kaiba

Ooo this is such a juicy idea, anon! I love me a pining Kaiba. It's even more entertaining when he's a bit oblivious.

I know you didn't quite mean this as a challenge, but it activated my outsider-POV-loving neurons. So I attempted to write a little ficlet based on your idea. Sorry, that was why I was delayed in responding to your ask. Also apologies that I'm a little rusty. Haven't been writing regularly recently. 😭 I hope you still enjoy it.

---

Kenji always figured that Kaiba's, well, everything was an act. A show persona put on for the masses to sell his tech and promote his tournaments.

No one could be that genuinely ridiculous.

Except he was. Kaiba appeared to be every bit that extra, as Kenji's teenage daughter would say.

("Dad, no one says that anymore!")

Because in the week since he started following the larger-than-life CEO around, he recorded a number of baffling incidents on film. Initially, he wrote them off as the producers' or Kaiba's people's attempt to inject more oomph into the series. It wouldn't be the first time. Kenji wasn't paid to care about that. He was the film crew. His job was to point the camera wherever the producers told him.

But not even Kaiba would stage an attempted kidnapping as a publicity stunt, right?

Kenji could've done without that one. Not just because he got far closer to a gun-toting maniac than he ever wanted to. The police also confiscated his equipment and that day's footage for their investigation.

But they were back to business the very next day. Nothing changed except for a few extra suits lurking in the background. Kaiba showed no signs of being shaken or slowing down. He had a tournament to throw, after all.

That tenacity and resilience were admirable. Kenji could see why Kaiba was so successful at his young age. Barely nineteen and he had the world in the palm of his hand. It was easy to forget the boy wasn't that much older than Kenji's little girl.

Nowhere was that more apparent than when Kaiba was surrounded by his peers.

Kenji kept his camera trained on the trio of teenagers. Kaiba towered over most, including people twice his age. Next to Mutou Yugi, he looked like a telephone pole.

"Kaiba-kun!" Yugi grinned, craning his neck to meet Kaiba's eye. "Glad to see you're well!"

Even an old fuddy-duddy like Kenji (again, much to his heartbreak, his daughter's words) knew about the storied rivalry between Kaiba Seto and the King of Games. But he was surprised by how calmly and politely Kaiba returned the greeting, even if his tone was a touch gruff. Kenji was unfamiliar with the blond boy who slung an arm over Kaiba's shoulders, however.

The blond boomed. "Still in one piece, eh? Saw the news about what happened. You really kicked those guys' asses."

Kaiba swiftly threw off the arm, but the blond didn't seem too offended. He also took a step to the side to put space between them. In profile, the tips of his ears went pink.

"They should've known better than to try anything. They've learned the hard way," Kaiba grunted. He made a motion to dust off his left shoulder, where the blond's hand rested mere seconds ago, yet his fingers seemed to linger momentarily on his flamboyant coat.

Not that the blond noticed. He was busy sweeping his gaze across the surrounding. "Yeah, tournament security's tighter than usual. Noticed 'em spooks hanging everywhere." Then he spotted Kenji. Or more likely Kenji's camera lens. He immediately perked, straightened, and puffed out his chest while flashing a crooked grin. "Hey, are they filming me?"

"No, deadbeat. Who would want to film you? They're filming me," sneered Kaiba.

The blond snapped toward Kaiba and took a step forward with his hands fisted at his side. A menacing move if directed at most people, but Kaiba wasn't cowed. He merely stared down his nose at the other boy.

The air crackled with palpable tension. If they started fighting, should Kenji keep filming or break up the fight? His producers probably preferred the former.

Yugi's eyes flitted between the two boys, then to the camera. "Kaiba-kun, Jounouchi-kun, calm down. Let's not fight before the tournament. I'm sure Kaiba-kun didn't mean that."

Kaiba and the blond, presumably Jounouchi, stared at each other for several more beats.

With a scoff, Jounouchi wheeled back and stuffed his hands into his ripped jeans. "Whatever. They can get a load of when the great Jounouchi-sama beat your flat ass out in the arena."

Kaiba smiled a sharp, toothless grin. "In your dreams."

Another charged pause.

Yugi shifted nervously.

"Only if you're lucky."

Kaiba's expression froze up. It looked as if he'd blue-screened and crashed. His ears were definitely pink now, though Jounouchi likely didn't catch that given how intensely he was staring at Kaiba's face.

But it didn't escape Kenji's notice. Or his camera.

Jounouchi smirked. "What? Cat got your tongue there, Kaiba?"

Kaiba coughed, making an admirable recovery. His expression retained an imperious quality when he replied, "Hardly. I'm merely stunned by your astonishing lack of self-awareness."

Jounouchi rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man. You're fulla hot air."

And just like that, they found their way back to the conventional arena of trash talk.

Yugi checked his watch. "We should get to our places, Jounouchi-kun. It's almost time."

"Run along, deadbeat. Or you'll be disqualified before you even take a step into the stadium."

Jounouchi made a rude gesture that Kenji was sure they'd blur in post. Yugi cheerfully wished Kaiba luck before following the other boy. Strangely, though, Kaiba's gaze seemed to linger on the departing figures. For no more than a beat or two, then he straightened and strode down the hall in the opposite direction, coat tails flaring dramatically in his wake. Kenji had to hand it to the boy's stylist.

***

There was a surprising amount of downtime when the duelists weren't playing. Much more standing around and gossiping and observing the current game than Kenji expected. Now that the tournament had officially started, Kaiba joined the other duelists stadium-side. Kenji naturally followed him.

Kaiba stood ramrod straight, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the tournament proceed. It was a picturesque pose, but even that became dull when he did and said nothing further. He had already played his first seed of the tournament and won summarily.

Kenji hoped this wasn't how the rest of the day played out. It would be dreadfully boring in that case.

Then Jounouchi took center stage for his duel.

Kaiba scoffed silently, but he remained as attentive as ever. Maybe even more so.

Not even two turns in, the mic picked up Kaiba's stray comments.

"Again with that unreliable gambling mechanic."

Still, he grunted in near approval when Jounouchi called his coin flip correctly. Soon, his stance and facial muscles eased to a state one might even call relaxed.

"Lucky," he muttered when Jounouchi countered his opponent's trap, but the light in his blue eyes shone brightly.

Kenji was a Duel Monsters novice, but he could read the room. The crowd's energy—Kaiba's energy changed as soon as Jounouchi was backed into the corner. Even Kenji winced when the opponent's monster halved Jounouchi's lifepoints with one attack.

Kaiba took a step forward before catching himself. A newfound tension vibrated through his body as Jounouchi picked himself from the floor. "Don't tell me that's all you got, deadbeat," he snapped to no one in particular. "This is just the first round."

Jounouchi didn't give up. Determination shone through his every move and declaration. It made for dramatic television, which the official tournament crew was filming. Kenji stayed focused on his assignment, which was recording Kaiba's every reaction to Jounouchi's moves.

A cheer rose among the spectator.

Kaiba stiffened, but the corner of his lips twitched. Upward. "Oh, he updated his deck."

Something warm and fond bubbled beneath the surface. It might be pride.

A dragon materialized on Jounouchi's side of the field. Kenji couldn't help but be struck by how its appearance was the polar opposite of Kaiba's sleek, white ace monster—black leather wings, sharp, and covered in spikes.

Ironic.

Or, dare Kenji think it as he zoomed in on Kaiba's face, serendipitous, judging by Kaiba's familiar expression. It was the same one Kenji's daughter wore when she thought of her "beloved"—one Kenji probably still made for his Ikuko. Infatuation was the best word for it.

***

"Isono."

"Yes, Seto-sama?"

Isono glanced up from where he was taking notes of his boss's comments to send back to the production team. Reviewing the cut footage took time, but Kaiba had a vested interest in how he was portrayed and he preferred the hands-on approach in this instance. Kaiba's brow furrowed as he watched scenes of Jounouchi's tournament duels interspersed with close-ups of his own face and reactions.

"Why is it so focused on the deadbeat's duels?" he asked. Not angry, though clearly baffled. Even now, Kaiba's attention was glued to Jounouchi's face as it always was whenever the blond duelist came into the vicinity.

A moth drawn to the flames.

Isono's eyes flitted between his boss's current oblivious face and his smitten expression caught on film. Most people wouldn't recognize him as smitten, including Kaiba himself. Isono did, thanks to his years of employment, though he initially doubted it. Evidently so did the cameraperson.

For a second, Isono contemplated confronting his employer about his crush. But he liked his job. Kaiba was a bright young man. He would eventually realize it, right?

He cleared his throat. "Jounouchi-san performed quite favorably in this recent tournament. Stories about underdog competitors are always a crowd favorite."

He gave himself a mental pat on the back. Both statements were technically true.

"He did perform above expectation," mumbled Kaiba, studying the paused image of Jounouchi on the screen.

Isono dared to hope on his employer's behalf. Then it was dashed.

"We'll see how long his luck lasts then," Kaiba smirked.

One day, thought Isono, Kaiba will realize what had been staring him in the face all along.

[l00na24]

I Got Your Six - Chapter 5

Warnings: Death, some things won't be 100% accurate to reality and are written that way for the sake of the story

Word Count: 9k

A/N: Hello 🤗 First of all I wish everyone a happy new year even if it's a bit late but I hope all of you are doing well and had a great start into the new year! 🥰 I am so sorry it took me sooo long to finally get this chapter finished (after changing it about a million of times because I wasn't happy with it lol), which I had wanted to get out before Christmas but unfortunately I got sick for a few weeks and then real life stuff came up right after 😓 But now it's here and I hope you enjoy reading it with things turning up a notch 😋 And don't worry, the next one won't take that long because I'm already on it! 😉

Also a little part of this chapter was inspired by the original Triple Frontier Script which I totally recommend you to read if you haven't already!

7 days later, 4 PM, Brazil, Jungle (at Lorea’s house)

It was a humid warm and cloudy day when I crept through the various green plants that surrounded me. The typical climate you would expect in a jungle.

Exotic birds occasionally flying high above the treetops and filling the wild and untamed nature with their chirping or insects buzzing around between leaves big enough to cover my body entirely, some smaller ones with the similarity of palms that fit perfectly in the spaces between together with other, more colorful plants or bushes on the ground. Meter long lianas hanging from above that were winding themselves along the branches of some big trees like snakes.

If I wouldn’t be here for a mission, I would take my time admiring every little detail and the peaceful, quiet and yet a tad mysterious atmosphere with the slight fog floating around.

The calm before the storm.

How the ridges of the Andes, completely covered in green nature and shrouded in banks of clouds, ominously greeted us at our arrival. Like they would be announcing a bad omen that was in the air.

Normally I wouldn’t be faced much by anything when it came to a mission besides the flying part but this time I’d been restless as soon as we were on our way to the destination Santiago had given me when I called him a few days ago.

My gut was screaming at me to not do it, to turn as fast as we could and fly back instead but it was too late and I wouldn’t leave them alone in this. I never backed down from a mission. No matter what. And I’d never forgive myself if I did now.

It had been the first warning.

My team and me nearly got caught in the crossfire of some criminals and the local police on our way to the friendship bridge, the signature element of the Triple Frontier, that connected Paraguay to Brazil over the Parana River.

We were slowly driving through the outskirts of Ciudad del Este, the second largest city of Paraguay and a literal hotspot for any crime imaginable thanks to the Triple Frontier connection, the biggest part being the smuggling of a lot of dangerous things. You could practically see on every corner you turned, that the criminals were ruling this place. My trained eyes spotting them from miles away out of the car window next to me or the guns some people were carrying with them, hidden beneath their clothes in hopes nobody would notice, even if they were way too obvious. Drug dealers selling their stuff openly on the street without a care as if it would be an everyday business. The poorest of the poor together with other citizens weaving through the thick traffic between cars.

You should think we would actually change something with our work but looking at this, I understood what Santiago had meant. Nobody was giving a shit about government or authority here, they had their own laws and the police were only bystanders, not able to do anything and probably not even bothering anymore or corrupt to the core.

Just as we were crossing an intersection, suddenly loud sirens started to blare in the distance and only seconds after a sports car nearly crashed with us when it flew by in high speed, the police following close behind.

“Alex! Watch out!” I shouted from the right backseat when I saw it speeding directly at us.

“Oh fuck!” As fast as he could, Alex hit the brakes. The force of it jolting us forward in our seats as we came to an abrupt stop just enough that the car only lightly grazed our front and didn’t crash into us.

In the middle of the chaos that broke out with people screaming and madly running around and vehicles on the street trying to get out of the way, I saw the windows of the sports car rolling down and persons with assault rifles leaning out of them to shoot at the police car.

“Get down! Put your heads down!” I raised my voice even louder before I heard the first shot being fired and made myself as small as I could.

The bullets were flying everywhere, one piercing through our windshield and almost hitting my shoulder if I hadn’t ducked to the side in my seat.

“Is everyone okay?” Luc asked from the passenger seat in the front and immediately looked over to Alex and then behind to me and Mick in the backseats.

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

The boys breathed out after everything seemed to be back to normal like nothing happened and people resumed their ways. The bullet hole the only reminder of what had just transpired.

“What the fuck is wrong with these people?!” I let out with irritation.

“I think they had a slight disagreement with each other.” Mick commented from the left.

That had been the second warning we ignored.

Stalking like a panther through the thick foliage of the jungle, I moved forward to the spot I was supposed to be and grabbed my TAC-50 that was slung around me as I came closer.

When I looked through my scope, a set of two big, black eyes ogled me and I looked up confused, spotting a little black and white patterned gecko sitting in front of its lens on my sniper.

What the heck?

“Hey there, little guy. You should be careful, you could get yourself hurt.” I said and inspected him curiously.

He held eye contact when his tongue darted out and ran along his mouth before he carefully moved across the upside of my gun, over the scope to its long rear where he laid himself flat on his stomach, his tiny feet spread wide from his body and blinked a few times at me and slightly tilted his head.

“You better get down there.” I told him and slowly moved my hand that wasn’t holding the gun to him.

Without moving he still sat there, not letting me out of sight. After another moment of studying me with his big, round button eyes he got up and came toward my hand. Stopping for a moment right in front to look, before carefully climbing with his sticky, nub-like toes onto it.

He was running all over it, in my palm and between my fingers, stopping at some point and dragging his little pink tongue along my skin.

“Did you… just lick me?” I asked him surprised, staring at the little reptile who didn’t seem bothered by me.

He only looked back innocently before he started to advance up my arm to my shoulder.

“Oh, no, no, little guy! You can’t go there!” I slightly panicked, not wanting him to touch or come close to the part of my body that was forbidden to everyone.

Thankfully he stopped as if he understood what I was saying and changed his direction. Moving over to my other shoulder along my front and looking from there at me once he had reached it.

“Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable, hm?” I asked and held my hand at him again, so I could put him on one of the plants around me, waiting till he was back in my palm.

I let him climb on one of the lianas hanging down in front of me.

“Watch your six, little guy.”

Following his movements along it until he turned upside down and looked back at me before I turned around and continued onward. At least a nice surprise for a change.

Brushing past some large ferns, I made my path through the wilderness with a watchful eye on the ground to not fall over tree roots or for any other kind of danger and made sure to take slow steps to not cause any unnatural movement that potentially could be spotted.

As I reached my spot, I got in position hidden behind a wall of leaves and cocked my sniper to inspect the rest of the area around the house after I had done a full circle of observation.

“I don’t like this.” I spoke into the com I had placed on my in dark and light grey tones camouflaged gear.

“What’s your concern?” Alex’ voice crackled through my earpiece.

“Looks too easy.”

“Did you expect a heavily fortified fortress out here in the middle of a jungle?” Mick asked chuckling.

“Considering the millions of dollars he’s supposed to have and that he’s one of the top tier pieces of shit here, yes, that would be my first expectation if I’m honest.” I retorted while letting my sight wander around through the scope, not spotting much besides some guards hanging around in a few corners with submachine guns strapped to them.

“You aren’t wrong. I estimated with more defense measures too, looking at his profile. But let’s check what we’ve gathered so far.” Luc suggested, wanting to hear what we had detected during our surveillance so he could start thinking about possible tactics at how we would approach this.

“Guards on all sides of the house in groups of two to max three, no protection and armed with SMG’s. Three right, left and rear side, two front, potentially more inside. Lots of spots all around the house where we could easily slip in without a problem except the front. There’s a long, unprotected driveway, ending with a couple of concrete jersey barriers on the sides and a steal gate. Could be breakable with a car I would guess, if you manage to destroy the barrier that comes out of the ground when the gate closes but that would alert everyone, which rules it out as possible option. The only real “danger”, if you wanna call it that, is the machine gun in a sort of tower behind it. 50 caliber, that would shred you before you come even close. I would need help from one of you to take both guards out undetected if we do this the ‘silent way’.” I explained my observation.

“I could give you a hand. There’s a small waterway from my position leading in your direction, would be a matter of seconds to get to you.” Alex confirmed.

“Perfect.” I answered before continuing. “I’ve also seen some surveillance cameras around. We will have to either destroy them when we approach, or we have to look inside the house for a security room to deal with it. They didn’t seem to give a shit about aiming them at the crucial spots, but I would like to take care of them, so we don’t have to worry about it later.”

“They are not looking like the newest ones there are. Don’t wanna know where he got them from, but it will be enough if we take care of the hard drives.” Mick brought in his opinion. His expertise as the best engineer we had in Delta gave us a huge advantage with any tech or gadgets we had to deal with in our missions or other unconventionalities.

“Also, we have high fences extending around the house in a radius of probably twenty to thirty meters. We won’t be able to climb over, but we could cut through them. I’m actually surprised they aren’t charged with electricity.”

“If I were him, I wouldn’t want my kids getting roasted, that’s probably the reason.” He had a point. I had seen them playing outside and some toys laying around but I doubted that it was why.

“The less time we need the better.” Luc pointed out, reminding us that we would have a time window we had to keep in mind once we were in.

“Look what we have here... Someone’s got some little toys.” Mick’s amused voice came through the com again.

“What is it?” The tone he used set off alarm bells in my head. Something was wrong.

“Ground sensors.”

Well, shit.

“The lethal kind?” I inquired with a hint of worry and scoped the area more wary a second time and focused on every detail I could find but spotting none of the mentioned sensors. They must be hidden underneath the plants.

“Hard to say but I don’t wanna find that out.” He answered thoughtfully when he inspected the object on the ground more closely with his trained eyes.

“Any way we can deactivate them?”

“Negative. Not without setting them off.”

“Copy that. Eyes up and on the ground then. Be careful where you’re going.” I spoke sternly, not wanting my team to have an unpleasant encounter that could end potentially deadly and risk the mission before it even started.

The theory with his kids was off the table with that but now we had an explanation why he wasn’t using electricity. Lorea probably thought it would be enough to rely on the sensors and I guessed, he hadn’t even wasted a thought about the possibility of some highly trained and lethal delta force soldiers attacking him or figuring out his location in the first place. Very bad mistake.

But it didn’t make our situation any better, knowing we practically walked around in a minefield. I had to hope the other guys would spot the objects in time and not run into one by accident, not having the possibility to communicate to them what they were about to walk into without revealing myself. They didn’t know we were here and I wanted to keep it this way till we were done with the recce.

“We’ve got company now, boys and girls.” I heard Luc shortly after through my earpiece upon spotting the arrival of the five ex-delta soldiers we had been waiting for. Their timing was just great… note the sarcasm.

“Make sure none of them notices the slightest trace of you and get your comms ready.” I ordered in the serious tone as their captain, wanting to avoid getting detected by any of the boys at all costs.

“Copy.” The three men of my team answered in unison.

I lowered my weapon and slung it back around me with its strap, reaching into a pocket on the backside of my vest and pulling out the com I had requested for me and my team from Santiago, so we could listen their conversation, putting it in my other free ear. They couldn’t hear us unless we used the manual trigger of the mic, which me or my teammates wouldn’t dare to touch and continued to use our own to communicate with each other.

Hearing their line crackling to life, I left my position and disappeared back into the thick foliage.

“So what's this guy got against banks? At least a safe.” Will’s deep voice reached my ears and sent a shudder down my spine that halted my movement for a moment. It felt weird to hear their voices after so long. I needed to get used to them again.

“The house is the safe.” Santiago answered cryptical. What was that supposed to mean?

“Got any idea what he’s talking about?” Alex questioned through our com and spoke out what I was asking myself.

“No clue.”

“Feels like he didn’t tell you everything.” Mick threw in skeptically, emphasizing the most important word in his sentence. Everything. Santiago better didn’t withhold any important information we should have known about before.

Carefully ducking underneath some low hanging branches, the quiet rustling of plants caught my attention and I looked alarmed around. It didn’t come from me but who- or whatever it was that made them was close.

The only thing I saw was a backwards cap in green camouflage moving through the greenery of the jungle and I knew who it was. I stopped dead in my tracks and didn’t dare to breathe or even blink. Ben had no clue I stood directly behind him when he moved by, not more than a thin wall of leaves separating us. His sudden closeness speeding up the beat of my heart in an instant that was pounding loudly in my ears and I prayed he couldn’t hear it. Keep your god damn composure, Y/N! Don’t panic.

Fuck. Did he have a compass which seemed to always lead him to me?

His hand was not a mere inch away and nearly brushed my belly. I’d be so, so fucked if he was able to sense me. Please don’t let him notice. Only this time.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

After a few beats of him deciding it was a good idea to stop and stand right there in front of me and I thought I’d die from my heart jumping out of my chest, he finally started to walk away and gave me an actual chance to get some desperately needed air into my lungs again. I swear, this man was the death of me, in more ways than one.

This was waaay too close.

My eyes had grown at least double their size as I followed his path till he was out of sight, not making any kind of motion or noise yet for fear he could pick up on it and discover who was here with them.

“I'm at the gate.” I let out a sigh of relief when I heard his still well too familiar rough voice speak through their com that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. If someone would have told me, I’d ever be relieved not having to be near him… Nothing could have been more wrong…

“This looks like everything was done about 82% right. They got all the toys out here, but these cameras aren't even aimed at the weakest breach point.” Ben continued and repeated in his own words what I had observed before, showing clearly why both of us were the experts at reconnaissance.

“Someone’s got some knowledge there too, huh?” Mick indicated, somewhat surprised there was someone else ‘as good as me’ as he would put it, in this field.

We had been the perfect team… And now we were standing on opposite sides.

Deciding to stay silent, I put more distance between us when I was sure he would be far enough away and went with fast but still calculated steps in the other direction. I didn’t want to have another close encounter with him.

“Your girlfriend's making her normal money drop?” Tom’s voice joined in and halted my steps a few meters after once again. What were they talking about now?

“Yeah.” Santiago answered him directly like they were talking about the weather, despite knowing that we could hear their conversation. “She's prepared to record the inside of the house.”

Girlfriend?... Wait a minute…- His so called ‘informant’ was his girlfriend?! And he had the nerve to not tell me before all of this?! He just had dug his own grave.

I was sure my teammates didn’t take this new information any different. I could already imagine how their brows would knit together and their jaws would clench at the revelation.

Santiago had unknowingly managed to turn our team against him before they even had the chance to meet with his move. The fact that none of them felt like speaking up about it told basically everything already. Good luck for him to get out of this.

“Pope...” The person using his callsign was Frankie but it sounded a bit off. Was that concern I heard? What was worrying him? Everything should be fine, I made sure of that before they arrived. Besides… My thoughts went back to the discovery we had made not long ago. Damn it. He didn’t accidentally set off one of the sensors, did he?

“Pope, I have kids over here. Does he have kids living in here with him? 'Cause that's gonna make things a whole lot more complicated and is not what I signed up for.” He shared his discovery over the com and thankfully not confirmed my suspicion but reminded me of what would be another part on my personal task list which I hadn’t wanted to think about yet. If Fish had known what he signed up for… maybe he would’ve had considered his options better.

I continued my way with quick strides through the jungle while I listened, passing by the gate in the distance with enough space to not get noticed and reaching the spot on the left side of the house where I had originally begun my observation round.

“The family's not the problem. They're the answer.” The addressed man replied without the slightest concern. What was it with Santiago and his cryptic sentences?

“Why?” Frankie wasn’t the only person who liked to know.

“Church.” Santiago simply answered. “Lorea's very devout. Every Sunday morning, he sends three guards to the 6 AM service. When they get back, he sends the rest of the team, along with his family, into town to mass. That leaves him and three guards in that house, and that's our window.” He elaborated and I could only shake my head at what I heard. I wouldn’t give them a chance to escape and not finish the mission properly, he could totally forget that. I didn’t care how many guards Lorea had in his house, ten, twenty, it didn’t matter. We would have the army with us too, which would be way enough to wipe them out for good. Not that my team and I could handle it on our own. I didn’t understand why he was making such a fuss about the damn family. There was definitely some business we had to discuss later.

“Why would he do that?” Will inquired, which wasn’t really surprising. He always was someone for details. Too bad he didn’t pay attention to them when he actually should have.

“Worried about someone taking his kids. And he never leaves his money.” These would be the least of his problems very soon…

“Also, I don't think he believes anyone actually has the balls to come out here and rob him.” Santiago added bluntly. That was another way to put it, except ‘rob’ was the wrong word for what we’d be doing. Let me correct, what they’d be doing. My team wouldn’t get involved with the money the guys would confiscate together with the army after we were done. So was the plan. But I didn’t like how he said it and the feeling it caused in my gut.

“It's probably cause it's a stupid idea.” At least Will had some common sense. Yes, it absolutely was. It was the stupidest idea on earth to be exact.

The sound of a car approaching had me drawing my sniper in a flash, holding it steady with both hands and looking out at the driveway through some trees and bushes from my higher position. A black van came into view that slowly approached the barrier at the gate where it stopped. The guard not standing behind the machine gun walked up to the passenger side.

“Pope, I got your girlfriend coming up right now.” Ben announced at the same time.

“Y/N, do you have the safety of your gun on?” Mick joked into the com right after, who had been uncharacteristically silent, already knowing what my reaction would be and wanting to check up on me.

“Maybe I accidentally switched it off.” My voice dropped lower, with an underlying threat behind it my boys were familiar with, while aiming through the scope of my TAC-50 at the woman’s head. It would only take a little pull on the trigger…

I inspected her nearer and got slapped in the face with the bitter truth that I couldn’t compare to her, and it was obvious why Santiago seemed to have a liking in this woman. She looked attractive with her tanned skin, the dark brown, shoulder long, wavy hair and dark eyes. And I bet the rest of her body looked just as good. Something I wouldn’t ever come close to…

“Holy shit. She is beautiful, man.” My blood ran cold at Benny’s next words and something broke inside me. He should have kept his damn mouth shut. The grip on my weapon tightened with my fingers wrapping themselves like snakes around it that were about to choke their victim to death.

Don’t let it get to you. Just ignore all the shit they’re talking. He’s not worth it! None of them are worth it!

“He doesn’t know that the most beautiful woman is already here.” Alex threw in quickly, trying to lessen the damage but he had no clue that what Ben said had fueled my wrath already to a dangerous level. He only tried to lift the situation and make me feel better, knowing about my insecurities that got much worse after what I had been through, but this was something even he couldn’t fix. Only one person could have done that and he wasn’t here anymore… because of me.

Fuck him. Fuck all of them. I wouldn’t give them even the slightest chance to hurt me.

Thank god the van drove past the gate a moment later before I couldn’t resist the temptation to shoot her and the driver anymore. My index finger hovering dangerously close over the small part of the gun that could decide between life and death in a moment’s notice if I wanted.

“I got an execution about to go down over here.” As if sensing my mood for satisfying the craving I felt, Will spoke through their line, adding greatly to the need for shedding blood. Did I hear execution?

“Are you at the tennis courts?” Santiago wanted to know and I looked around if I could see the mentioned place from my position to follow what was happening there but to my disappointment it was out of my sight.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, that's his spot.” He confirmed. Of course Lorea would kill others for his sake, people like him were all the same. He wasn’t the first and surely wouldn’t be the last.

“Anyone have sight on it?” I spoke into the mic, in hopes one of my boys would be close by and could give more detailed information about the situation.

“Positive, I do.” Alex answered while watching Lorea with a guard next to him getting ready to kill the unfortunate souls that were kneeling on the ground with bags over their heads. He had also found the blonde person lurking behind the small brick wall not far from him who must be one of the ex-delta soldiers, watching through the free spaces in between what was about to unfold.

“How many?” I inquired after his response, meaning the number of people the drug lord was about to kill.

“Four.” Too many. I would make sure to pay it equally back to him. He wouldn’t hurt someone ever again after we would be finished with him.

“Man, this guy really takes his business way too serious.” Mick commented with a snort when multiple shots of a gun filled the atmosphere. It wasn’t meant as disrespect toward Lorea’s victims but more his own way to cope with what we had to experience in our job and to not let it get to him. The complete opposite of me.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

“One more reason to get rid of him.” The grip on my sniper hardened even more at the thought of how many people had died because of him. How many lives he had taken for all the blood money. This guy was practically begging to be killed. A shame I couldn’t do it right now.

“Why is she doing this?” Frankie wondered as he saw the dark-haired woman and a few men getting out of the van and entering Lorea’s house with some bags, bringing their line back to life after it went silent for the time of the execution, everyone probably listening the sound of bullets delivering death and leaving nothing but corpses behind.

“She hopes I can get her little brother out of jail.” As if it hadn’t been enough to hear that she was his ‘girlfriend’ but to also find out she was doing this for Santiago to get her brother back on top of it… This was the culmination of it all. How did he even wanted to do that? If her brother was involved with Lorea, there was no way he could get him out legally. Or was he simply playing her so she agreed to help him? Like he tried with me also with leaving out what I heard since they arrived? He had chosen the wrong person.

“Tell me he isn’t fucking serious?!” Our engineer let out in vexation, being careful to not speak too loud and give himself away to the person with a cap he had in sight while he looked over the entrance area of the house where the van had stopped not a minute ago.

“I guess he ‘forgot’ to mention those little details, right?” Alex was just as pissed off, the kind where he questioned himself if he should shoot first and ask questions later or the other way round.

“He should pray I won’t find him right now.” Mick threatened afterwards, directly voicing out what his Spanish brother had hidden behind his words.

“You should give him a chance to explain himself and not make any assumptions already.” Luc spoke up, surprising us with his calmness and how he wasn’t on the side of his brothers. Sitting still on his spot on the other side of the house and following the guards’ movements while also keeping a careful eye on two of the ex-delta soldiers laying on top the massive concrete wall underneath some plants.

“What the fuck, man?! How can you defend him?! There is no god damn room for assumptions because everything is fucking clear! We need to have a talk after this!” His friend shot back with a growl.

It would be an exhausting drive back… Releasing some air and not wanting to take part in their conversation to fuel the tension that already had manifested itself with my own emotions, I focused back on the other boys.

“Did you put him in jail?” I heard Ben asking the most obvious question, silencing and distracting my three men from their heated discussion. I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if Santiago did.

“Not really.” There we go. So he had something to do with it. He might be able to fool the others but not me.

“I'm guessing that's putting her at some risk.” Tom pointed out and a sarcastic chuckle left me. It was putting her at the risk of vanishing from the face of this earth as soon as I got my hands on her.

“Man, I almost forgot why I got out of this business. Shit gets so dark so quick.” Frankie shared his thoughts, not knowing how true his words actually were and hitting the nail on the head. Explaining why I was as I was and bringing back painful memories. Nothing would come close to what I had to experience.

My knuckles turned white from the force I was gripping my weapon with now, teeth grinding hard against each other and shutting my eyes to force the unwelcomed thoughts away before they had a chance to get through.

Keep breathing slowly. You’re not going back to that place. You’re over it.

“Oh, shit, we got ground sensors here, boys.” Benny suddenly announced alarmed over their com when he found himself near the dangerous little object that blocked his way.

“Did you hit one?” As soon as Santiago had asked his question, my focus completely relied on them, tensely waiting for an answer and cursing under my breath that of course it had to be him out of the five to get himself into this situation.

“I don't know, I'm not sure.” With concern heavy in his voice and face Ben answered, uncertain if he had activated it or not and quickly taking a look around to check if he had been detected but everything seemed normal until Fish’s warning hit his ears.

“Benny, I got two guys on motorbikes coming your way.” He informed the younger Miller when he watched them speeding down the driveway in the direction of the gate where Ben was crouching deeper into the bushes covering him.

The urge to eliminate the enemy grew with every passing second and I considered starting the mission early. They wouldn’t get anywhere near him. I wouldn’t allow it. They’d be dead before they knew it.

With him already in my sight from my place across, I switched off the safety of my sniper once again. Making sure he was unharmed and nobody would come too close to him and discover where he was hiding.

Will left his position right after, following back the way he came through the small waterway around the area toward his little brother.

“Hold tight, Benny. I'm trying to get out there to cover you.” He told him, the protectiveness as his big brother coming to the surface. Moving as fast as he could till he got in position behind a small tree on the opposite side of the gate and aiming his pistol underneath its branches toward the newly arrived guards.

I shifted my view to the gate when I heard the sound of motorbikes approaching, noticing Will at the edge of my scope. Shutting out everything to not get distracted from the threat at hand and taking in controlled breaths to keep the heavy weapon steady while looking at the guys getting off their bikes, ready to shoot at any wrong movement or getting closer to Ben’s position.

“A stock boy job at Walmart's starting to look pretty good right now, boys.” It wouldn’t be Ben if he didn’t make one of his comments in his current situation, holding his pistol low but ready to use if needed. He was unaware that me and his brother had him covered from both sides of the gate and nobody would have an actual chance to harm or get to him without being killed. It kind of was like a déjà vu.

For a long moment they stood there, talking to the other guards. Thankfully not showing any signs that they were alarmed or actively searching for Ben. With a wave of a hand from one of them they got on their motorbikes again and drove back where they came from.

“I'm clear. They're coming back to you.” Ben confirmed to Frankie and watched them retreating, putting the gun back in the waistband of his jeans and relieving all of us with his words.

“Let's get the fuck outta here.” Will ordered into their com, keeping his hand weapon aimed on the men until they were out of sight. He had seen enough and didn’t want to push their luck any further, it had already been a close call with his brother and there was no reason to risk another encounter. The intel they had gathered should be enough to make a plan.

“Two retreating on my position.” I informed my team, watching both Miller brothers leave and disappearing into the jungle. Lowering my sniper and allowing my muscles to loosen up after I made sure my surroundings were safe.

“Positive, two as well here.” Luc responded first.

“Affirmative. One on me.” His friend Mick validating the same after.

“That’s all of ‘em. Alex, you clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Copy. If y’all are, I’ll meet you at the car. Be careful out there, boys.” I instructed before heading to where we had parked and took the earpieces out. Not looking forward to what awaited me…

35 Minutes later, 6:18 PM, Brazil

A bump in the road we were driving along woke me rudely from my nap when my front made contact with the car door to my right side I had leant to in my sleep. Startling me awake with the force of the impact.

A very faint “Sorry!” rang through the car.

“Can’t you drive more careful? If you continue like this, you gonna wake her up!” Alex complained annoyed from the left backseat, taking a look beside him in the dark of the car to ensure their girl was getting some much-needed sleep.

“I’m very obviously trying my best here. It’s not my fault this road is absolute shit. How is someone supposed to drive safe here anyway?” Mick complained back and shot his friend a glare through the rearview mirror before looking back at the road and giving Luc a glance on the way in the passenger seat.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere, you won’t find any better ways out here. I’m afraid this is the best we can get, gentlemen.” Luc declared with a chuckle.

“Still was a mistake to let him drive.” Alex grumbled lowly, not agreeing with the choice they had made earlier because he had enough experience with his recklessness at times. Especially with driving.

“If you think you can do it better, go ahead, pen-, pem-? Whatever you call asshole in Spanish.” Mick challenged him, struggling to find the word he was looking for because his knowledge of his friends’ second language was very limited or rather nonexistent and slowing their vehicle.

“It’s called pen-de-jo, dumbass. And we all know I’m a better driver than you.”

“Who almost caused an accident when we came here? Hm?”

“Seriously?! It wasn’t my fault some crazy people were having a fucking chase with the police!”

“Whatever you say, bud.”

“If you keep going like this and not lower your volume, it won’t be the movement of the car who’ll wake her up.” Luc clarified, sending a look their ways that didn’t require any further words.

With a slight groan I came to and opened my eyes slowly, noticing the lack of daylight.

“Great job, Mick. Look what you’ve done! You woke her up!”

“It certainly wasn’t me!”

With an eyeroll Alex shifted his head in my direction and gave me a smile.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He greeted me softly, his hand searching mine and giving me a light squeeze while caressing the back of it with his thumb. A ritual my boys always did when we were out on a mission, to assure me I was safe and in the present while I was waking up out of my half sleep.

“Hey. What’s… happening?” I answered groggily and looked at him with barely opened eyes, giving a squeeze back.

“Nothing you have to worry about. You okay?” He asked, letting me take my time to get more conscious and inspecting me.

“Mhm. As best as I can be.” I saw it in his eyes when I nodded at him that it wasn’t the answer he’d been waiting for, even if he did an excellent job at not showing any changes in his facial expression and maintaining the smile on his lips for my sake. Giving me a final caress with a bit more pressure before retreating his hand.

“Welcome back.” Mick’s cheerful voice broke our moment and my sight went to the front of the car. Realizing night had settled in with the headlights illuminating the earthy path ahead and the instruments inside being our only light source, now that I was more awake.

“How was your little nap?” Luc turned around in his seat to face me.

“You know how it was.” I told him right away, every person in the car aware of the fact that my sleep was screwed for good with permanently fearing to have another nightmare yet again when I allowed myself to rest. But of course it didn’t keep them from asking anyway.

“Sorry by the way if we woke you.” Came it from the driver’s seat, a brief side eye meeting mine while Mick took one hand off the steering wheel and rubbed the back of his head in a guilty manner.

“You didn’t.” I assured, not wanting him to feel responsible for something he wasn’t the reason of.

“And for earlier… I didn’t mean to be an ass.” He added more quietly, exchanging another look with me, the memory of our “chat” before the drive in his mind that hadn’t gone like probably all of us had intended it to. But on the other hand, they had gotten a chance to release some steam and cool off which mattered the most for me, not blaming them at all about their complaints and voicing them out loud. Taking in every last word and feeding the side of me that lived from it, that didn’t know anything else and used what I bottled up within me as its catalyst to cause the fatal havoc it was meant to do. To make the world burn for what had been done.

“There’s nothing you’d have to apologize for, Mick. And aren’t you an ass all the time? At least to Alex?” I tried to lighten the mood and draw the attention away from me.

“Whoa! Now that’s just cruel, Y/N! You can’t say something like that when I just apologized!” Our driver let out in his usual overdramatic way, going along with it. Making his friends laugh heartfully, mostly about his reaction but also my words. The joyful sound wrapping around us like a comfortable, warm blanket in the winter. Only that its warmth wasn’t enough to reach my cold, dead soul. It would never be enough to bring it back to life ever again.

Another precious moment between us I should enjoy but couldn’t, with the inability to feel the same happiness as them - or any at all. Faking a small smile to not ruin the entire situation because I didn’t want them to have to deal with me more than they already had to, like the constant loneliness I felt even if they were always around me.

“Totally deserved.” The Spanish man next to me nodded in agreement and fixated his brother in front of him with a wide smirk.

“Keep going and I throw you out of this car myself, then you can see for yourself how you get there.” A finger pointed in his direction as a warning sign before Mick had to focus on driving again and put his hand back on the steering wheel.

“Why do I have the feeling I missed something important?” I asked in confusion, suspecting there was more to their talk than I knew and switching my sight between the boys.

“Oh trust me, you didn’t miss anything, Y/N.” Luc laughed to himself, the other two starting to snicker along him.

“Okay…?” Coming across my lips in more a question than a normal pronunciation. Despite my curiosity I decided to not dig further and leave it at that. It was probably just another banter of theirs like usual. Looking a last time between them before I shifted my view out the window into the night and silence falling over us with only the faint tune from the radio playing in the background.

A few miles later when I couldn’t stand the quietness anymore, I leaned forward in my seat over the center console as far as my seatbelt allowed it and grabbed the inner edges of the front seats with my hands.

“How long till we’re there?” My nervosity getting the best of me because the previous silence grew too loud for my head and I couldn’t keep the thoughts in it no longer from running wild, threatening to overwhelm me.

“We still have a bit to go. You can take another nap if you want.” Luc answered and looked over to me from the side.

“I’m not tired.” I quickly refused his suggestion, as everyone expected, because it had become a common thing over the last 2 years and they were used to it by now.

“Y/N… Then at least try to get a bit more rest, please. You know-” He tried to reason like a parent with their child who was too stubborn to follow their instruction, but I interrupted him before he could finish what I had to hear too many times already: “You know he wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger.”. Who the fuck cares?

“I don’t wanna hear it.” A well-meant advice to drop what he was going to say.

I had decided to walk this path with no looking back till the end, whenever that would be. There was nothing waiting for me anyway. It was like I had been stuck somewhere along the way and got lost in search for something I had known once but wouldn’t find again, left alone in the shadows with nothing more than misery, sadness and deafening silence as my companions, the only remains of a life before that had stopped existing.

With a heavy sigh I sat back in my seat and busied myself with the sight out the windshield, not wanting to continue the conversation we’d had so many times before like the words he wanted to use.

“Can we not-” I instantly stopped midsentence when I saw a hooded figure appear out of nowhere in the shine of the headlights that stood on the side of the road, directly facing us.

I wasn’t sure what it was but the feeling hitting me in this very moment I couldn’t place - something both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time - had me sitting up straight immediately.

“Mick, stop the car! Stop the car!! Now!” I yelled when we drove past it, my eyes glued to where the figure had disappeared behind us in the night and hands pressed hard against the glass. Startling the boys with my sudden change and the urgency in my voice.

“What? Why? Did I hit an animal or somethin’?” He asked as confused as his brothers, all looking at me now with big question marks in their faces.

“Just stop it already!” I urged impatiently, not caring to elaborate and wanting to get out as fast as possible.

“I’m on it! What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

Before they got an answer, I was out as soon as we came to a stop in the middle of the road with only the person I saw in mind and ran back through the dark to where I had seen it. Shouts of my name erupting from behind me when the three quickly followed and ran after me.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” My raised voice filled the night, loud enough to be heard for a few meters distance but I got no answer or any sign that somebody was there.

“I know you are! Come out and show yourself! I won’t hurt you, I promise!” After nothing happened and I didn’t want to wait any longer I spoke up again, opting for a different way to get the person to reveal itself but it turned out the same as my first attempt. Looking in every possible direction in hopes of finding what I was searching for.

Multiple cones of flashlights lighting up my surroundings more and more from behind announced my team’s approach very soon after but I was too focused to pay them any mind for now.

With hands crossed over each other, raised pistol in one and a flashlight in the other held next to it, how they had been trained to, so they could shoot at any possible threat lurking out there while still being able to see, they closed the distance between us with fast steps and in their tactical formation with Alex on the left side, Luc in the middle and Mick on the right to cover as much ground as possible.

“Can you tell me what the hell this is all about?” Taking in a defensive stance, Mick came to a stand next to me and let his eyes roam around to make sure no danger was in sight before they landed on me, displaying his obvious discontentment about my careless action.

“They were here.” I answered without looking away from the spot I had been staring at, still clinging on to the false hope of the person showing up.

“Who?” He questioned confused, not understanding what I meant and being more concerned about my safety since I wasn’t wearing a bulletproof vest or a weapon.

“The Person. They were right here.” Repeating my words, assuming he would catch on, I tore my gaze away and toward him. Noticing Luc and Alex next to us and the handguns they carried with them. “And put your guns down.”

“Well, I don’t see anyone. Are you sure?” Taking another attentive glance around at my words, he followed my instruction and lowered his pistol slowly after he spotted nothing but grass.

“What Person?” Alex asked from the other side while doing the same as his brothers and loosened his stiff posture.

“That stood on the side of the road looking at us.” I elaborated a last time with slight agitation, not getting why they asked all these unnecessary questions when they must have seen the person too.

Luc, Mick and Alex exchanged a troubled look with each other.

“There wasn’t anyone.” Luc said after a short pause.

“But…- No…- They were standing right here…! I swear!” Denying his words and pointing at where the person had stood, I took a few steps forward, letting my sight wander through the dark once more and staring at the earthy ground in front of me in total disbelieve after I still found no evidence that someone had been here only minutes ago. This couldn’t be true… I knew what I saw… I wasn’t making it up…

“Hey, we believe you, okay? If you say you saw someone, you did.” Alex assured, stepping before me and searching my eyes. The other two not wasting time and appearing at my sides, forming a half circle.

“How did they look like?” Luc changed the direction of our conversation, deeming it a good choice to distract me from the thoughts he practically could see swarming my head and make sense of what I was saying.

“Their… clothes were all black… with a hood over the head. And… the lower half of the face… was covered with a black mask.” I stuttered out. “I know how this sounds but I swear to you I didn’t imagine it!” Seeking the boys’ eyes for reassurance that I wasn’t going mad and my mind didn’t make up things that weren’t there when I just had literally described what we normally wore on our missions.

But it was hard to miss the doubt in them which hurt me more than I wanted to admit to myself when I realized my mistake, not allowing my expression to show I had noticed and quickly cutting off our line of sight to avoid getting more upset and revealing my emotions. I shouldn’t have told them.

“Did you notice anything else? Or were you able to identify the person?” A vertical shake of my head was all I gave Luc, feeling a surge of rage rush up that I didn’t pay closer attention to the person’s face, so I would have known who it was and if they were real but everything had happened too fast and caught me right off guard.

“What’s the plan here then? Are we going for a search?” Mick wanted to know, switching from expectantly looking between us four and checking our surroundings from time to time.

“I don’t see any footprints but if somebody was here they couldn’t have gone too far.” Our Spanish man moved his light around, emphasizing he wasn’t completely dismissing it. His way of telling me he didn’t think I was crazy.

“We surely would have noticed anyone by now - and I’m not saying I don’t believe you,” Coming up with the fact none of us could dismiss, Luc stepped into his role amongst our team and I could feel his observing gaze that hadn’t left me since his arrival. He noticeably changed the pitch of his voice while adding his own assurance into the sentence - a smart move, to ensure I would be listening. “But we won’t find much in this high grass with only our flashlights at this time of day. Also don’t forget we still have a good few miles to go and I doubt we wanna be too late.”

“As much as I agree with you, but I’m not comfortable leaving without knowing if we’re being followed-”

“Luc’s right. It doesn’t make sense to try and find someone in the middle of the night, Alex. And I said we’d be there.” I countered him with a defeated sigh, not having the nerves to argue with my boys about the actual existence of the person but wanting to ease at least his worry that was an ever constant of the trio below the surface since certain things had happened all of them never fully recovered from and wouldn’t. Another thing I was the reason of.

“I mean it won’t do any harm if we take a quick look, right? I’d feel better if we do. And let’s be honest here, none of us gives a damn about being late.” Mick suggested, not passing the opportunity to add one of his blunt comments.

“It’s just a waste of time, forget it. Let’s go and get this over with as fast as possible.” To make this decision wasn’t easy for me but it was the most rational in the current moment. Swallowing down my increasing anger. If things continued like this, I would need an outlet soon because I could only hold it in for so long until I had to release it.

Casting my view for a moment toward the sky in hopes of finding some relief, my mood dropped further when I saw nothing but clouds plunging the stars in their darkness to snuff out their light, like they were foreshadowing what was to come. Not deeming me worthy of the only thing bringing me some little kind of comfort for what I was about to do.

Averting my eyes, I turned around and started to walk back to the car.

“Wait! Y/N!” Alex tried to stop me and was hot on my heels.

“I already told you we’re not searching!” I let out angrily and sped up my steps.

“I swear to god, this woman…” Mick huffed out quietly before he and Luc got moving too, earning an amused snort paired with a smirk from his brother next to him.

“That’s why we love her.” He patted him a few times on the shoulder. “And you wouldn’t want it any differently.” Luc added after a short distance without looking back, following their captain and Alex who was making some gestures with his hands and arms on her side only to be ignored.

“I hate when he’s right…” The last member of the team started to catch up in a sprint.

From afar a hooded figure in black was watching them…

If I had at least understood my third and final warning.

A/N: I want to thank every single one of you who gave this story a chance in the last year and supported it so far, no matter if it was through a like, a lovely comment or a reblog! Each one means the world to me and is greatly appreciated and a huge motivator, regardless how small it is! And I hope I can continue to bring you more enjoyment in the future with it! ❤️

You can definitely look forward to the ultimate clash that's bound to happen which we are approaching with careful steps! Maybe in the next chapter already? 😱

If you enjoyed feel free to reblog, like and comment! 🥰

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.81 Guilty

Sophia and I stumbled into the house that night under the influence of comfort and joy. After so much laughter, delicious food, and merriment, we were tuckered out. I don't know what our dogs got into while we were all laughing it up and opening presents, but for the first time ever, all of us when to bed at the same time, and it was adorable. Sophia nestled her head on my shoulder and draped her arm across my chest. I enjoyed the chill of her ring touching my skin. It was such an odd thing to notice, as I closed my eyes, but I felt like it would become something I'd look forward to for the rest of my life.

In the morning, I slept in just long enough to get a few extra zzz's, but not so long that I wasted the entire morning. Sophia was already up and at it when I awoke, so I took advantage of the alone time to scroll through Social Bunny and catch up on everyone's holiday shenanigans.

Dub replied to my last message, and that reminded me I never sent him the details I promised, so I took care of that. No sooner than I hit send, Mama sent me a text suggesting we sell all our presents and put the money toward our new house. She got us some pretty expensive gifts, and Father Winter was serious about his extra special gift. Between the two of them, we likely had more than §5,000 worth of stuff! I never would have thought about selling even though we didn't need half the stuff we got, but it was a great idea; Mama always had the best ideas. When the time was right, I'd mention it to Sophia. I was certain she'd be down with the plan, given her concern about us not yet being able to afford the house.

The clamor of plates and forks grabbed my ear, so I went to the kitchen to see what she was doing. To my surprise, I found her eating a hot meal, and a platter of food awaited me. The sweet gesture made me smile. I had become the cook in our house, and I didn't mind at all. But it meant a lot that she would do this for me.

"This is about as far as my cooking skills go," she said. "I hope it's good."

"I know it is," I said.

"How?"

"Because it was made with love."

After I had my fill of eggs and toast, I got dressed and headed out to Evergreen Harbor for a long overdue talk with Maira. I understood friendships drift a little when we fall in love, get married, and start families. The situation was inevitable and beyond our control, but I hated feeling like I had neglected her again. Sophia and I may have been getting married, but our relationship was still very new, and I wasn't ready to let anyone else into our bubble. Hopefully, Maira understood that. After all, she encouraged me to go after her.

She answered the door and commented on my outfit. I told her I was just trying something new, but in reality, Yasmine and Chi Chi inspired me to put more thought into what I wore because their sense of style was impeccable. I wasn't sure what my vibe was yet, but I wanted to try different looks until something spoke to me. So far, wearing hats in winter was definitely a must keep, and I had no idea why I never wore them before. I thought my thick, long curls did a good job of keeping my head warm, but it amazed me how much warmer I felt with a hat.

I wasted zero time getting to my news, but I did not receive the excited response I had expected. Quite the opposite, actually. Maira glared at me, and I knew I was in trouble. Still, I played dumb.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You like this girl enough to marry her, and I don't even know her name? I thought we were closer than that!"

"Of course we are! I wasn't trying to shut you out, it's just... Everything happened so fast! I'm sorry."

She sighed and fell back onto the couch.

"I know. It's no one's fault. And I really am happy for you. I guess I'm just bummed."

My stomach dropped, and everything inside tensed up because I knew she was about to pull a Yasmine and declare all these feelings for me even though she was the one who told me to move on and forget her. Maybe Sophia was right about me being a ladies' man.

"Why?" I asked.

"It's just... Things are changing, and I feel like I'm being left out of everyone's life simply because I've chosen not to participate in all that."

My body relaxed, and I let go of the breath I held. I was glad she understood.

"I didn't think about it that way. I told you before, though. You're not going to lose me. But it cuts both ways, Maira. I don't have any missed calls or texts from you either."

"I sent you messages on Social Bunny!"

"So did I."

"Okay, fine! We're both guilty, and I can't be mad at you. Let's move on. Tell me all about this lucky woman."

I started from the very beginning and didn't leave anything out. Finally, by the end of my story, I got the excited response I was expecting.

"We're having an engagement party tonight. Will you come?"

"Dumb question! Of course I'll come."

"Your sister will be there too. Apparently, she and Sophia are best friends."

Her eyes lit up like a Winterfest tree.

"She's that Sophia? What a small world! I don't know know her, but I like her."

I lit up that time. I never expected any of my friends would have a problem with my soon-to-be wife, but one never knew how sims felt about adding new blood into the circle.

"I'm glad to hear that. I need to ask you something else..."

I had thought long and hard about who I wanted representing me in the wedding party. Well, as long and hard as one can do in two days, heh. Sophia and I would have our own sims of honor, but the other positions would have to be agreed upon by both of us. I only had three potential names for everything: Maira, Alessia, and Dub. Maira had been a very good friend for a while, so I considered her for my sim of honor. But my sister had been my best friend for my entire life and would probably kill me if she didn't get that role. Dub was a good friend too; maybe even my new best friend. But we had only just met. How would the other two feel if I picked him over them? My sister had to be my sim of honor. Period. I hoped Maira would understand that.

"Will you be our flower pal?"

"Don't kids usually do that?"

"I don't know. Your niece is the only kid we know, and she's going to be the ring bearer. My sister is going to be my sim of honor, and I wanted you in the wedding too."

She smiled warmly.

"Of course I'll do it. I'm glad you thought of me."

[thewakingcloak]

The State of Things Yet to Come

The Ghost of Spacefarer Things Yet to Come is a hard guy to get ahold of, but I have at last wrangled him and tied him down until he wrote the blog post he promised:

The blog post he promised

I have looked into the future… where I am from… and ok yeah let's start off with the big news first! In the future… ProtoDungeon: Episode III will be on Steam!

That means you can wishlist ProtoDungeon: Episode III on Steam!!!!

And here's a little mini announcement trailer for just this occasion :) (and turn up the sound! I made a lil tune for this!)

So please go give it a wishlist!

Steam's inner machinations are something of a secret to everybody, but wishlists absolutely help the folks who make games. It's one of the most important ways you can help me, even if you're not sure you'll ever buy it. Wishlists get games seen, so please wishlist!

I'm really excited about this. This one actually my original plan for ProtoDungeon, to put each individual episode up on Steam and use the experience to improve… but I was talked out of it by a guy who was mad that Episode I wasn't a full-length game, and by his predictions of my failure. I switched to only publishing for free on Itch and decided The Waking Cloak and ProtoDungeon DX would be the only games I put on Steam.

I wish I'd never listened to that guy. He clearly didn't care about me, and I let his words and attitude control me.

The future is ever-shifting

There's a lot of things I've been doing because I felt like (and have been told) I should be doing. So for the future, I had been intending to really hit the ground running on all fronts, posting to social medias everywhere, launching tiktok and insta reels and youtube shorts, and generally pouring my efforts into "marketing."

I don't think there's anything wrong with this, but it's also… not me? It's not really what I want for my future. I've thought long and hard about this hobby, and I want to enjoy the parts I enjoy, and not let pride prevent me from letting other people take over the parts that I'm not really good at and don't have the time for anyway. Let's face it: my plate is full with my job, my kids, my house, taking care of my wife, chronic illness/pain, etc.

On top of that, I've been off social media for a long time now, and it's been so restorative. I don't fault anyone for being on any of them, and I'll poke my head up every now and then, but… I'm letting go of "making it" on socials. I can't keep up with the sacrificial requirements of the Algorithms. I can't keep up with the comparison game with everyone else making stuff on there. I had spent a lot of time curating my feed(s) so that I saw only wonderful people making wonderful art, and I still felt like I was always "coming up short."

The new plan: just post here on the devlog… just things I want to post. Focus on making my games and having fun doing it. I'm not gonna spend time finding the opportune moment to generate traffic or to say just the right things to sell people on playing my games or learn all the metrics and stuff. I won't post in every conceivable space hoping I'll get enough momentum to go viral or even just noticed.

Will that mean fewer wishlists, fewer followers, fewer people playing my games? Yes. And I'm content with that. I just want to enjoy the act of making games. I don't need to "make it big" anymore. I look up to folks like ConcernedApe (solo dev of Stardew Valley) and Team Cherry (small team behind Hollow Knight) and their lovely games and experiences, but I don't need to BE them anymore. I'm me, and I like being me.

Okay but what am I actually doing…?

Practically speaking, the plan is now as follows:

Publish ProtoDungeon 3 on Steam/Itch for $8.99, with a two-week launch discount of 15% (so, $7.64). I'd like this to be in Q1 of 2025, but I'm keeping things loosey goosey here

Publish PD1 and PD2 on Steam for $4.99 each, with the same builds as on Itch now (so they won't have Steam achievements). These might come before 3 is released, we'll see!

Continue with episodes 4 and 5, also on Steam/Itch--these will be significantly quicker to develop than 3, as they will be smaller and also will not require fundamental changes as 3 did. Pricing will probably be lower than for episode 3 and likely higher than episodes 1 and 2.

All of the above will be self-published!

Once those are complete, I will be working on The Waking Cloak, and it's here that I'm seriously considering looking into a publisher. I do want my games to be played by more people, and having professionals handle all the marketing and socials and console porting and other fine details would be such a burden off my shoulders. I've got my eye on a few in particular, but I'm putting more thought into this before I say anything else.

What about…?

Why are you working on ProtoDungeon and not The Waking Cloak? Trick question! (You didn't know you were asking a trick question, did you?) I say this a lot but it bears repeating: ProtoDungeon is helping me build up the mechanics and assets for The Waking Cloak, and is helping me get lots of practice with game design, as well as with art and publishing and so forth.

Will ProtoDungeon have spoilers for The Waking Cloak? Nope! The only spoilers will be purely mechanical, but I'm holding back a lot of puzzle concepts and a few mechanics for TWC itself. ProtoDungeon is a separate prequel story and has unique dungeons that will not show up in TWC.

What is ProtoDungeon DX? This will be the combination of all the ProtoDungeon episodes, with the early episodes rebuilt, and with additional content (like an overworld). I'm planning on working on this after The Waking Cloak. There will be some kind of discount based on your collection of individual ProtoDungeon episodes. I don't know how that works yet, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Whatever happens, I want to make sure it benefits y'all.

Why isn't ProtoDungeon free anymore? Simply put, because I think they're worth it. I've put a lot of time and effort and love into them. Also, I have a family to support, and this hobby is not free either! The episodes are short, yes, and that's why they'll cost less than a movie ticket.

Patreon? Development will be open and free as always, but patrons will get a first look (like with this post!) There are other goodies at higher tiers, too. And I should mention: funds go towards stuff like key art, publishing fees, and other minor operating costs. I was able to commission some wonderful art for ProtoDungeon: Episode III with y'all's support, but I've also bought some music tools (such as Chipsynth SFC), and I have a Studio Spacefarer P.O. box as an official address for legal reasons when publishing newsletters. I also am able to keep the main site, https://studiospacefarer.com, up with these funds. So, thank you!

To the future!

ProtoDungeon: Episode III has been a difficult beast to tame, partly because of fundamental changes to all the systems, but also because of where it fell in my life, amidst the pandemic and grief and changes and moving. It's become more important to me because of that, because it's a way to process everything. I had always known ProtoDungeon was about grief, but now it's much more personal.

I'm excited to work on things again. I look forward to sitting down and working out the details and adding the new ideas. I can't wait for y'all to experience it. Thank you for following along, and here's to future days!

Oh and did I mention…? please wishlist ProtoDungeon: Episode III on Steam :)

[zephyr-bazaar]

hello!! i hope ur having a nice day!!

i'm willow and i just started playing harvest moon! you seem to be really well-informed about harvest moon, so i hope it'd be okay if i asked you for some advice? :O if not, feel free to ignore this! (also, i emulate my games, so if you're uncomfortable with emulation i completely understand ^^)

i'd like to ask what ur favourite nds harvest moon is! yesterday i started playing tale of two towns and i've been seriously enjoying it haha. i'm now a little bit bored though (i've been playing it for the entire day now 😵‍💫) so i thought maybe i should try the other games, but there are just so many i'm not sure which i should try! the sad thing is that i'm only able to emulate nds games (3ds ones are definitely out sadly, and i tried to emulate the wii and gamecube ones but they didn't work unfortunatelyy) so i won't be able to enjoy trio of towns and more 😔

i really like the social aspect of the game (even though i haven't been able to get married to any of the bachelors ahaha) but i like the farming aspect too! do you have any game in mind? (or just your favourite one!) thank you so much! im so sorry if it's rude of me to suddenly ask you this. i hope you have a great week ahead!! 😊

(folds my hands together and leans in) you have come to the right place.

I actually was having a replay of ToTT before Mistria came out! It wasn’t one I was fond of, so getting a new perspective on it and finding things to like was nice, even if I do agree it’s on the boring side. (Side note Gombe is the best character in the entire series and I wish he moved in with you too if you marry Nori/Nana.)

As for my favorite DS game, well, (gestures to my username). Grand Bazaar is one of my favorites. It’s actually the first game Dirk was from and his older brother is my favorite bachelor in the series!! (I also think Dirk’s ToTT version is a LOT better if you’ve played GB; it’s very nice to see his character development between the games if you see any of his GB heart events.)

A lot of the mechanics are more on the simple side (Iirc it was meant to be a beginner’s game), and since you’ve played ToTT you’re familiar with the hell that is the freshness system. (GB and ToTT are the only games with it; in every other game things never go bad. One of those experimental things that didn’t stick, which the DS games had a LOT of.) GB also has a mechanic where if you step on your crops too much their quality will go down, but as long as you switch from running to walking while watering them for the day, you should be good!!

The biggest mechanic change, and the one the game is based around, is in the name itself; the bazaar! You don’t have shipping bins in this game, and instead you sell everything at a weekly bazaar on Saturday! You run a stand with all your items set up, and ring a bell to attract customers. Generally if you’re focused and stay for a while, you’ll sell all your stuff. (The game’s goal is to earn enough at bazaars that you’ll be able to have it keep growing and become more famous, which also helps a LOT in the selling regard as you’ll get more customers the higher your rank is.) I tend to save all my stuff for the end of the season and sell all of my crops at once.

This is also where you’ll be able to buy everything; while Raul runs the general store in town, Enrique sells animals at the bazaar, for example. As it grows you’ll even have stands with characters from Island of Happiness and Sunshine Islands setting up shop!!

It’s also MUCH easier to unlock makers than every other game in the series with them, including the games before it. The other gimmick is town has 3 Windmills, all of which are unlocked automatically in your first year. I’m not quiiiiiite sure how they work on emu because they involve blowing to speed up production time, but doing a quick search for people playing Professor Layton and Ace Attorney on Reddit says it’s doable to configure, it just depends on what emu you’re using.

I’m not toooo familiar with animals because I never keep any (seeing this in the first game in the series I ever played when I was 11 traumatized the FUCK out of me and now it stresses me out to have them in any of the games that aren’t AWL LMAO.) But looking it up it seems to be standard fare, with the barn actually attached to your house to make it easier to reach them. You can’t sell your animals unlike other games, but besides that they’re functionally the same but with much easier access in the morning.

I also ADORE the cast so, SO much. Like I said, my favorite bachelor in the series is in this game. The entire cast is very colorful and charming. Both the art style and designs are, overwhelmingly, the biggest influence on my (chibi) art and overall character designs- which says a LOT about the series that made me start drawing as a child in the first place. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I don’t have a number one favorite mayor in the series, but a tie between 3. You better believe Felix is one of them. He’s SO good. Especially when ToTT Rutger if you chose Bluebell is very generic as far as bokumono mayors go. (Luv Ina/Irusa though)

Also it introduced tea leaves to the series which was the most goated thing to ever happen. Tea leaves are the best crop. I love tea leaves.

TLDR Please play Grand Bazaar I love Grand Bazaar.

(I also hope you can get other emus to work! All 3 of the 3DS games are the best in the series, Imo, and the Wii games are classics. If you have Steam you can also get Friends of Mineral Town (the best starter game imo), and A Wonderful Life (it’s a black sheep in the series but a VERY VERY beloved black sheep and the original GameCube version was a LOT of people’s first game.) I’m olivetownhater199x though)

I hope you have a nice week as well!! :) I have job interviews tomorrow and Tuesday so fingers crossed 🤞🏻

EDIT OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO SAY THIS. If you have trouble starting out Fogu’s Guides for the series are a godsend!! I still use them every time I play. (Even if she does also cover the bargain bin harvest moon games. Every game titled Harvest Moon from The Lost Valley onwards isn’t actually a part of the Bokujou Monogatari series, but rather games by the original localizers profiting off brand name when Marvelous switched to in house for translation.)

[sashi-ya]

ᴍɪɴɪ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ > ＣＯＴＴＯＮ ＣＡＮＤＹ ＣＬＯＵＤＳ˚۰

ＶＩＮＹＬ 💿 ＲＥＣＯＲＤＳ ｓｈｉｎｊｉ ｘ ｇｎ！ ｒｅａｄｅｒ

request. Anonymous asked: Hope I'm early but can I request Shinji with vynil records ? It feels like that word is there for him (and my mind instantly came up with so many potentials) tw. none. sweet modern (or not?) au. wc. 1.3k masterlist.

“You should close the store; nobody still buys vinyl records” “I will…” but I don’t want to.  

Is not that you were extremely attached to the past, but your family has been running that business since a long time and now it was in your hands. Sure, technology has managed to overcome the old vinyl discs, but you still had hope. There were some amateurs who would buy some, but, time passed, and the industry slowly decayed…

“You are in debt. Severe debt” your accountant tells you, straight to the point through the phone while you play with an old vinyl around your index. “There is a man that wants to buy the shop, he is willing to pay double the amount of your debt. They are planning on setting a bubble tea shop”

You sigh… another tea shop. It’s ok, your place is located in a good place where summer days are lively and the fairy lights shine with charm on winter busy nights.  

“All right. Give me one more week and I’ll give you an answer”

Some tears form in the corner of your eyes. Everybody is right. You should use this last week to finally say goodbye. There is no way you can transform your business by yourself, and apparently nobody is willing to help either.

You spend longer than expected inside, well passed the closing time. You decided it was time to see which of the things you will take with you, and which ones you were willingly to sell on the internet.

Scrutinizing old boxes you have in the back, you find some particular one. A set of Jazz vinyls that catches your attention immediately. In the front cover a man, with blond almost yellow hair and straight bangs smiles.

“What a particular smile…” you mumble, inspecting the disc. “This looks extremely old, it’s probably been here since my grandfather opened the store” you think, while you turn on the turntable to try it.

As soon as you place the needle on the black surface of the disc, and after some white noise, a peculiar song starts playing. It has Spanish vibes, but it’s also jazzy.

You have no idea what the title means, but, apparently the band is called “Vizards” and the first song “Escalon”

And, for some reason, you enjoyed it way more than you thought you would… and it made that last week a little more bearable. Selecting what goes and what not, cleaning and selling the last stuff before closing was clearly breaking your heart, but, the weird songs of that old vinyl made it all better…

The seventh day had arrived. Being the day you have to finally give the buyer an answer, you walk through the same streets you had always walked to get to your shop.

There is something in the air that makes it difficult to breathe, like a high pressure over your shoulders. You try to dismiss it, it’s probably just anxiety.

Playing with your keys as you approach your store, you keep humming that “Escalon” song. The sky is clear today, so you let the sun kiss your cheeks with its morning yellow light.

But, even if your life was about to change, there was someone who was willing to change it to a totally different idea of what you had already imagined…

“Hey! Are you the owner of this shop?” A blonde guy, with straight bangs and fancy looking clothes startles you at the very entrance of your shop.

There is something about him, something that feels familiar…

“Not for so long… I’ll be right with you, sir” you tell him, while the keys slide on the lock.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been looking for a vinyl store! I’m new to Karakura town, so, I’m so glad you are open!” he says, smiling…

oh, that smile…

You turn around to take a look at him before opening the door, and while you do, and the little bell chimes you realize how similar he looks to the guy on the “Vizards” vinyl. What a strange coincidence.

You sigh, though. He is glad you are open, but he might be the only one after all. “Actually, today is the shop’s last day” you confess.

“What? Why?!” he asks, taking his beret off completely outraged.

It makes you kinda laugh, he might not realize he is the only person wanting to buy vinyl records.

“Because nobody else buys vinyls anymore, sir” you say, turning the turntable on to musicalize the shop, while you get ready to sell whatever is left to that smiling being in front of you.

The man takes his hands to his tiny waist. He seems annoyed at your statement; he is there to buy, so, nobody wouldn’t be the proper term.

However, even if he wanted to say something, the melody that starts playing makes him go silent. He comes closer to the music source, and tilts his head to the side so that he could read the title on the spinning vinyl.

“I can’t believe it… I want a copy now” he chimes, excited as if he had found something he’s been looking for so long.

“Unfortunately is the only one I have… you see I found it on an old box, probably my grandpa’s belongings from when he opened the store” you excuse yourself, realizing that the last disc you were probably selling cannot be sold.

“Then, I will come back here to listen to it every day” he says, giving you the sweetest, most big smile you’ve seen. It leaves you startled, out of words.

When he is about to leave you gain your voice back; “Sir this is the last day of the store, you can take the vinyl for free!” you tell him, after all he was kind enough to believe in you when the rest didn’t.

“Are you sure this is the last day? Maybe things are about to turn upside down for you. See you tomorrow!”

You stutter, what is he talking about? As he leaves you simply laugh, sure that that man is nothing but a crazy one…

“So, (Name), if you are finally willing to sell the shop, the buyer will visit you there at 3 pm. I will be there too so that we can sign the papers”

“Yes… I will. May I ask what’s the name of the buyer?” you inquire him, just to know the name of the person that will transform your family’s legacy into yet another cafeteria.

“Hirako Shinji, he is the owner of “Upside Down”. You know, the bubble tea chain from out the state”

“Upside Down, you say…?”

You smile to the phone… If that’s a coincidence, you don’t wanna know…

The weird Spanish like song of Escalon fills the shop with their notes, it’s almost 3 pm and the inevitable it’s about to happen. However, there is something inside you telling you to be at peace.

The first to arrive was your accountant. He is not a bad guy; in fact, he has been there since the beginning for your family and you when you had to take over the business.

“The man is lovely, you will see. He is a little bit weird, but you can trust” he says, while you smile.

And just as he says so, the chime on the door announces the arrival of the buyer.

“Hello, hello! I’m back! I forgot to tell you my name, I’m Hirako Shinji” he presents himself, shaking your hand with great enthusiasm. Making you smile so widely. “So, let’s give this beautiful Vinyl store a little bit of life. Do you think you can still work for me? I want people to have some tea while listening to your wonderful melodies”

You gawk… this man… “So, you don’t want to get rid of the vinyl records” you ask, with glimmering eyes.

“Of course not, I knew this was the perfect place the moment you had my grandpa’s band playing in your store. I love jazz, and I’m a collector myself. I want you to help me and I want to help you make this business bloom… what do you say, cutie?”

You laugh at the “cutie”… but how can you resist when he has just arrived to put your world upside down? 💖