#hope you don't mind me tagging you! just wanted to make sure you're getting proper credit!

[dreamnotnapss]

HELP ME everyone please watch the entirety of this tiktok that @ischugmb made it's literally making me cry rn

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [2]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 8.6k

I posted this a day later than the one on ao3 because I forgor :''DD

Seeing the support and comments from both website got me off my ass to fix the storyline, even made a lot of changes on the chapters I've had preserved.

this chapter got rewritten a LOT, and was longer than it initially was so I hope y'all don't mind long chapters.

<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>

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There's been times where your heart has truly fluttered for a man throughout your lifetime. Too many times has it been because some of your bosses (read: Jimin) flirted with you but you have never felt anything remotely giddy for anyone else outside the group.

Except for the man now sitting in front of you, flashing you a dimpled smile after handing out his card with an ease you only see in your friends and male leads in dramas. An action more attractive than any kabaedon or flexed muscles.

He's attractive but you don't like like him.

Yoo Guwon came to you as a bashful giant, rubbing the back of his head whenever he’s flustered and a constant sheepish smile featuring his deep set of dimples indented on both cheeks. He’s charming and articulate with his words just like a lawyer would be. Everything about him reminds you of another gentle and clumsy giant probably hunched over his music equipment back in the BigHit building.

It’s only been a few hours but you surprisingly covered most of the basic grounds of first meeting conversations during the short time you drove around Han River in a two seated bicycle. From the meager questions of ‘what dreams do you have?’ to the more complex and deeper ‘If the world falls into ruin, will you burn my body when I die?’. 

Too graphic for a first date but you wanted to test the waters and you concluded that he’s too perfect.

He knows the right words to say, the proper way to act and it makes you suspicious. Your mother has never recommended you to a good guy before, having a track record of ten shitty suitors who all ran their mouths about their mediocre achievements, and dared to ask you about your purity before ranting about how dirty you are for not saving yourself for your husband the moment they find out you're not a virgin anymore. Then all of a sudden, she led you to good boy Guwon.

And it makes your skin crawl.

What did that woman eat? Has your father fed her something bad this time? What is she planning? It’s scary how she has finally advocated for an actual nice guy.

After taking you to a museum you're sure Namjoon has visited once, he drove you both to the Han River to rent a double seated bike to drive around with before ending the night with a nice reservation somewhere in the Seocho district.

The place is as sophisticated as fine dining areas usually are. With an intimate lighting, marbled tabletops matched with soft cushioned seats and high ceilings to make space for modern glass chandeliers, the restaurant was no doubt expensive, the type you have to reserve a spot two months prior to be able to experience its greatness. The point was driven home when you saw the amount of zeros it cost for one can of soda. 

You asked him how he managed to get a table and he went down the rabbit hole of the many advantages he got from successful cases, ranging from a free monthly subscription to fruit baskets to a free week-long voucher to a five star hotel somewhere in Busan. 

Going back to the butterflies, while not as wild as it got when Hoseok possessively wrapped an arm thrown around your waist to pretend as your boyfriend to ward off a persistent suitor, they're there, albeit subtle.

Very subtle.

Maybe it's in the way he didn't think twice to hand out his card towards the waiter in the most suave way with the thick golden watch decorating his wrist, sleeves neatly folded up to reveal the thick cords of veins on his forearms with his hair strewn messily and a dimpled smile that made you react like that.

You ignore the voice comparing his uncannily similar traits to someone else.

Meeting Guwon wasn't like how the movies illustrated love at first sights. They talked of fireworks exploding in the background and hearing the sweet chimes of wedding bells upon eye contact but for him, it's just that. A meeting far more formal than you'd like. He has a lot of qualities that check your list of husband material traits yet instead of butterflies, you could only feel an echoing hollowness in your chest as you listen to him list out his future plans. 

It felt like surrendering to the fate the divinities had weaved out for you which is being an untethered forced to love someone you don't even feel any spark with.

He's a nice man who’s offering a comfortable future and you're just a woman who wishes to live a lavish life at home while your husband wastes his years away in the office. You might be a hopeless romantic who wished for soulmates and the like but you're not blind to the opportunity Guwon offers you.

You haven't texted the gc anything during the date other than the selfie you took before you left for the date but there's been constant vibrations in your purse and it's no doubt the guys asking for updates but for a moment you wanted to try to focus on the man before you.

Not that it wasn't hard to try with Guwon anyways.

Whenever the man spoke of his achievements and hobbies with a humble approach, he never forgot to ask you for your opinion or input on the topic. You also noted how he has never cut you off and let you speak whenever you wanted, listening with an eagerness only your friends usually show. He asked relevant questions with a genuine curiosity, eager to know more about you. 

So when he asked if you wanted to go on a second date that night, it came to no surprise for anyone when you accepted it albeit the heaviness in your heart.

It was funny how eagerly you searched for a husband you could bring to your parents' doorsteps but the moment someone with all the qualities you seeked came, it felt disappointing. Boring even.

But you can learn, this man is your ticket to living without working anymore.

It came to no one's surprise that your mother was overjoyed, she wasted no time calling you before you could even change to squeeze the memory of today out of you.

The shrill scream of victory she let out that night was unforgettable because finally, a suitor you actually liked. Your dad even congratulated her off-screen for her matchmaking achievements before telling you to bring Guwon home to meet them.

Logically, you’re aware you've won the love roulette—Guwon has it all, he checked every box on your list, yet it felt like defeat and it tasted foul, bitter on your tongue.

You couldn't tell them that it was you deciding to settle, that would break her heart.

Tapping the end call button felt like the dam breaking and all the water held onto for so long flowed out. You fall lifelessly on your bed with a heavy sigh. Taking a couple evening breaths, you finally opened the group chat with an overwhelming number of unread messages.

[Today, 08:49]

[08:49] Mimi: I'd run my bank dry to take you on dates if you'd dress so pretty like that, noona~

[08:49]Tete: We're really seeing this for free when the poor guy has to pay for it. #livingapriviledgedlife😁👍

[08:49] Hobi: Wow noona🤯

[08:50] Yoongs: 👍

[08:55] Tete: Wait, I don't think those shoes fit you, go back home and change it😁

[08:56] Jinnie: Hey, you're showing too much skin on the first date! Go back and change!

[08:57] Joonie: Ignore these haters noona, I hope you enjoy your day😊

[Today, 21:48]

[21:48] Jinnie: are you home yet? You haven't seen our messages in HOURS.

[21:48] Tete: NOONA DID YOU GET MURDERED?!😱

[21:50] Joonie: Let's be rational guys, don't jump to conclusions. The date might just be going great if she's busy enough to not check her phone😊.

[21:51] Mimi: doing great? don't scare me like that hyung😵‍💫

[21:51] Tete: BUT WHAT IF SHE GOT KIDNAPPED HYUNG????

[21:51] Hobi: please reply soon, we're worried🥲

Jungkook's absence from the conversation didn't come to you as a shock, the kid doesn't even reply to you for a week despite being one of the people who raised him. Nonetheless, you sat up from your bed to record a quick video of you giving them a thumbs up and turning the camera to show your room.

The latter was an assurance to Taehyung that no, you also didn't get kidnapped into someone else's house to be someone's housekeeper, and no, it wasn't a clone either.

The moment your message gets sent, the replies blow up your phone almost instantaneously.

[22:28] Mimi: noona you're alive!

[22:28] Joonie: How did the date go?😊

[22:28] Jinnie: how nice of you to remember to update us PEASANTS.

[22:28] Mimi: How was Guwon?

[22:29] Tete: I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE WENT WITH YOU ANYWAYS

[22:29] You: Shockingly, he's a pretty nice guy. Not too bad on the eyes, and pretty smart. I think you'd get along well with him, joon. He's a lawyer so he covered most of the expenses today😁

[22:29] You: Overall, it was great, we're gonna go on a second one. He's pretty cool.

Instantly, messages from the members, even Jungkook’s to your surprise, flooded your screen.

[22:30] Tete: Noona you've been cursed! We need to bring you to the nearest shaman to break it!!

[22:30] Mimi: don't joke with us noona

[22:30] Mimi: I just got goosebumps!

[22:30] Joonie: Congratulations are in order then? Will we be expecting him around you soon?

[22:31] Yoongs: I need to meet him, need to know if he's good enough

[22:31] Yoongs: men are trash, I need to see him for myself before I decide

[22:32] Yoongs: and you know what they say about lawyers, they LIE. I wouldn't trust him 

[22:32] Jinnie: WE need to meet the man who managed to steal your heart! I want to talk to him😊

[22:32] Mimi: don't use that emoji again, hyung

[22:32] Hobi: SCARY JWANN😱

[22:32] Joonie: Let’s not threaten anyone please.

[22:32] Joonie: But I'm really happy for you 😁.

[22:33] Tete: Those periods really scares me hyung…

[22:33] Tete: Somehow, I don't think you mean it…

[22:33] Joonie: What makes you think that, tae?😁.

[22:33] Tete: 😰

[22:34] Ggukie: a few drinks will fix you up, noona😁

[22:34]  Mimi: you'll invite me this time right?

[22:34] You: I don't know, you already used your mischief hours this week, I doubt Sejin would be so kind next time.

[22:34] Hobi: if he does that right now during practice, I also wouldn't be so kind to him😊

[22:34] Mimi: you are scaring me hyung…

[22:34] Hobi: good😊

[22:34] Tete: Hyung, are you just gonna ignore Jungkook leaving?!?!!?

The messages continued for a good five minutes, mostly consisting of holding Jimin back from leaving practice and him sending pictures of the infamous Hoseok death glare from across the room before your doorbell chime rang, making you shoot up straight.

A beat. Then it continues in three quick successions, the knocks almost in sing-song and sounded like two hands were used to produce the tune, giving you an inkling on who might be visiting you at this late hours of night.

Padding out of your room, the front door suddenly swings open without warning and you yelp. By the doorsteps stands the intruder, a tall man in a black coat with his face hidden by a mask and a cap. Your body would've frozen a thousand times over if you didn't know this stranger who's hugging two paper bags, one overflowing with snacks and the other a breeze away from tearing apart from the weight and water drenching the material of the bag.

"Hi noona!"

After today, seeing Jungkook felt like a cure, his presence alone repelling the heaviness in your shoulders and you ushered him inside and he wandered into your home with ease, approaching the coffee table to place down the shopping bags. 

Suddenly you remembered what he had scheduled prior.

"You're putting me on Hoba’s punishment rotation, what are you doing here?" 

He giggled. “We both know he won't, hyung loves you more than me.”

He falls on your couch with the ease of someone who has visited your space numerous times throughout the years, propping up his feet on the back support and folding his arms underneath his head before staring up at you, expectantly.

"Anyways, I brought us food and drinks, don't I deserve a little praise?" 

Sometimes it's easy to forget how young Jungkook really is, forced to grow and act mature to blend in with his surroundings, you've always seen him stand with pride alongside his hyungs. Seeing him awaiting for your praise so eagerly like a pup fills your heart with awe.

"Yeah yeah, good job. Now move over, let me sit down."

You tapped his arm, motioning him to move over so you could sit next to him, something he obeyed without resistance, busying himself in removing the contents from the soiled paper bag instead.

“Couldn't you have put some effort into it? At least sound grateful.” He pouts. Placing down the cluster of beer cans, you turned to him and pinched his cheeks.

“Oh my dearest darling, thank you for saving this noona of yours. Such an amazing baby I have here.”

Despite being the one who asked for it, Jungkook only rolled his eyes with a barely held back grin as he slapped your hands away, making you laugh, and turned to the bag holding the snacks he bought. You didn't miss the redness dusting his cheeks or the cheeky grin that tugged his lips wide as he spilled the contents of the last bag onto the table.

There's a significant amount of sweets and snacks laid before you, as well as stacks of canned beers and you turned to him with furrowed brows.

"Wouldn't this ruin your diet?"

He waved you off with a huff. "I work out enough to eat all of these in one sitting."

Instantly, your mind brings you back to white walls and gray furniture, faced with manager Sejin who warned you about interfering with the idols' diet at the start of your career. If it wasn't for Bang PD waving off their concerns, saying they needed to be rewarded for their hard work anyways, you would've been long booted out of the company.

It's a matter long settled yet it remains to weigh heavily in your head.

Seeing the hesitation in your eyes, Jungkook continues.

"I can show you proof of my efforts," 

He then reached down to the fabric of his shirt tucked into his jeans and tugged it up, flashing you the tightly corded muscles in forming on his abdomen and the thin happy trail you often see when patting his sweat down during concerts and you hastily pulled it back down with a yelp, cheeks growing hot while he laughed.

As he throws his head back in his mirth, you couldn't help but notice the way adulthood has taken away the fullness of his cheeks and has sharpened his features. A far cry from the sensitive young boy who cried his eyes out every time his hyungs got hurt. 

There was no denying that Jungkook had grown without you noticing and it makes your chest swell with pride knowing he's been raised well by the others, in extension, although not so much, you as well.

"Don't worry so much about me, noona. I can handle the consequences now, you leave the reprimanding to me."

Under the warm overhead light of your living room, even with the exaggerated puff of his chest and his nose turnt up high, Jungkook's shoulder had never looked sturdier, reliable, in your eyes. You smiled, reaching to pinch both his cheeks making him grin wider than he already was.

"Look at you acting so cool, when did you grow so much?"

He rolled his eyes, pulling your hands away from his cheeks and entangling it with his. “I've always been cool, you just don't pay attention to me, noona.”

Before you could reply, he's already moved to reach for the beverages on the coffee table, popping two of them open and handing you one can, immediately you take a swig.

The beer fizzled in your tongue and left a trail of burns down your throat. The sensation is refreshing nonetheless and you place it down next to him before picking up the large bags of chips and standing up.

"I'll go put these in a bowl, go put something on the tv."

"Can I play anime?"

You waved at him dismissively, unable to find it in yourself to say no to him as you head towards your kitchen to transfer the junk into a bowl when a shrill tune from your bedroom cuts through the air, someone was calling you. You look over to Jungkook, scrolling through his phone, no doubt looking for a movie online.

"Gguk, can you pick up the call for me? My hands are busy right now."

There's a shuffle of feet behind you and in a moment, your phone quietens down. Finished with filling one bowl, you turn to find Jungkook leaving your room with a deep look and your phone in hand. His jaw set tight as he stood there with furrowed brows, eyes lit with irritation.

Looking at his reaction, you asked about your mysterious caller.

"Who was it?"

When he turned to you, the tick in his jaw dispersed. All of a sudden, he's smiling at you with mischief twinkling in his eyes, the change giving you a whiplash.

"It was the others, didn’t answer their calls cause I want you for myself tonight, noona."

(Later on, you'd find yourself staring at the many unread messages and two missed calls from Guwon, wondering in your drunken state if you've muted your phone at some point earlier.)

Hearing it from his lips now, your body locks, heart stuttering in your chest and butterflies exploding in your stomach, spreading a tingly feeling throughout your body and you laugh. 

"Where did you hear that line from, brat? You just activated my fight or flight!"

"Taehyung says that and gets thanked but when I do it, I'm punished?" He pouts, stomping as he approaches the island counters and crossing his arms on the marble surface.

It reminded you of a bunny you saw from a video on the internet, angrily thumping their feet at their owner when it was being purposely ignored.

“In his defense, he does it while he’s acting like my crazy ‘exes’ and saves me from dates.”

“That’s just favoritism! I saved you once from a date!”

You threw him a deadpan stare. "Throwing me over your shoulders and kidnapping me isn’t the same as Tae and Jimin acting crazy enough to make the other guy uncomfortable to save me.”

Hoseok had your favorite troublemakers kneeled on the floor with both their hands up and facing the wall at the time, punishing them for being an hour late to their practice. He had called you in, asking if they had been accompanying you during —they weren’t. 

Long story short, you didn't risk sharing Hoseok’s wrath with the two and took Jungkook instead, a decision you quickly regretted later on in the night when instead of approaching to act like one of your exes when you gave him a signal, he hoisted you up onto his shoulder and ran away while your date only watched in terror.

“Now that’s blatant favoritism! I didn’t kidnap you, we ran away together into the sunset! It was romantic!"

"Not for the other guy, no! He was shitting bricks when he called my mom. She got me squatting the entire afternoon when we met again."

Mentioning it alone made phantom pains throb in your knees and thighs, you shivered. If torture wasn't a socially unacceptable and punishable offense in the modern world, you were sure your mother would have stripped you down to your underwear and made you squat under the sun in front of your family house instead. 

The absolute fury she unleashed on you that day is enough proof that she would've done it with no hesitation if it was lawfully appropriate.

"That's too much for a failed date."

"No reason to dwell on it. Main point is, don't take notes from dramas anymore."

With a last roll of his eye, Jungkook then picked up the bowls and brought them to the coffee table following you who had returned to your seat ahead of him. Once the two of you are situated back on the couch, he navigates through the streaming app for an interesting title before eventually settling on the romance anime he claimed to have heard amazing reviews about.

Without hesitation, Jungkook navigates himself into a familiar between your legs and leaned back on your chest, head finding his rightful space under your chin with a precision gained from doing so for years.

It goes without saying that Bangtan is affectionate. With the pressure they had during their rise to fame, it wasn't shocking that they comfortably seeked each other's comfort and spared no skinship. As one of the only staff within constant exposure that's close to their age, you too became one of their pillars of serenity. 

It was the reason you had crushes on everyone at least twice during your time as their make-up artist, not that any of the boys knew nor does it matter.

Stability and work takes precedence over something as shaky as love.

There's only so much comfort another man can offer, your mother says from years before.

Jungkook more than anyone else in the group. 

As a boy who sacrificed his childhood and time with his parents to pursue his dream, you felt more inclined to watch over him than the others who were adults by the time you joined. You were there for his first heartbreak, his first drink, his high school graduation; the point is, you were there and you held him every time he struggled with problems—mostly girl problems—he's too shy to seek his hyungs for.

But now with his growth spurt, cuddling up to you like he used to when he was younger with his gangly legs awkwardly hanging from the couch, carelessly leaning his head in between the mounds of your breast while his large hand mindlessly drew circles on your knee, you found yourself wondering about the appropriateness of it all.

A man and a woman alone in a room at night in close proximity, body leaning against each other. Society would argue they wouldn’t end the night as friends anymore after the encounter.

You paused mid-drink and grimaced.

It must be the beer talking.

"Noona."

"Yeah?"

"Wrap your arms around me, it's cold."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's not though? I always keep my house warm." 

He let out an exasperated groan before reaching behind to grab your arm and roughly slinging it on his shoulders.

As time continued its cycle and episodes started to fly across the screen, the pile of opened beer cans on the table expanded. You really tried to focus on the movie but the feeling of his fingers tracing stars on your bare thigh left you oddly bothered. Jungkook has shifted his position higher at some point during the movie, his body now turned sideways, successfully squeezing himself into the small space between you and the back of the couch, legs entangling itself with yours while an arm is thrown across your body.

This position puts his nose closer to your ears and it makes you shiver. The feel of his hot breath fanning across your skin has given you more goosebumps in under an hour more than you've had throughout your life.

Even drunk, you could feel the building tension thickening around you and the will to tell him to off ebbs away with every caress of his fingers.

Gone were the innocent traces of stars and hearts on your thigh, his hand now grabbed onto your waist almost possessively, thumb rolling slow circles on your bare stomach; the motion conjuring the most unholiest of thoughts known to mankind.

When the credits started rolling, you knew you had to draw the line before you lost yourself to intoxicated thoughts and end the night with regrets.

"Time for you to go home now, your hyungs must be looking for you."

You tried prying his hand from your waist so you could reach for your phone on the table only for him to tighten around you, stopping you from moving away. He groaned, head nuzzling closer into your neck and his lips grazed your skin. 

Instantly, electric jolts shoot through your body.

"Jungkook, I need to get my phone and tell someone to fetch you from here."

"Can't I just stay the night? I'm too comfortable right now…"

The gruff in his voice and the sensation of his lips moving on your skin has your stomach fluttering and you're too drunk to address the growing heat in your abdomen but thanked the sense of professionalism seeping through the fogs of your intoxicated mind.

Managing to pry him off, you reached for your phone and opened up SMS to tell Jin to pick their youngest up.

           [01:21] You: Jwannn

           [01:21] You: can you pick up your kid from my house? He's drunk and stinkyyy

           [01:23] Jinnie: your knight in shining armor is on the way!

“Just let me stay the nighttt,” he whined into your skin.

"I don't have any more spare beds other than this couch for you to sleep in, Gguk. I turned the other room into a closet, remember?"

"I can just sleep with you on the bed, we used to do that, didn't we?"

He attempted to reach around you again but you pushed his limbs away once more before slapping his arm.

You tried not noticing how thicker and harder the muscles felt, you really did. 

"But it's different now, Gguk. Come on, go wash up and drink water, I've already told someo—"

The moment you rose to stand, his arms shot around your waist in record speed and pulled you flush to his front, nuzzling his nose on the back of your neck before he sighed. When the first hot exhale hits your skin, you flinch away but the limbs wounded tightly around your middle restrict you from moving.

You try to ignore the heat simmering under your skin but it was hard when you felt the press of his plush lips on your nape as he leans closer into your skin. 

“You always smell so nice, noona.” He whispered breathily, the sensation of his moving mouth sending shivers down your spine and you shivered.

“I-I can give you my lotion brand later, let me go so I can get it.”

“But I'm comfortable here…”

Mustering every strength left in your body, you manage to pull an arm out of the death grip he had on your body and slapped his hand. Jungkook easily ignores it.

“Come on Gguk, let me out now. This isn't appropriate.”

"How is it different now?"

The alcohol intoxicating your system loosened your grip on your inhibitions and your lips regrettably moved faster than your brain.

"You're a man now, Gguk. Honestly, we shouldn't be even doing this right now. It's inappropriate."

You try to stand once more, managing to pry him from your waist and standing up before his arms hooked around you once more and tugging you back down, this time on his lap as he burrows his head onto your back.

"Gguk?"

"Yo-you see me as a man, noona?"

As a child your mother has taught you how words could heavily influence and drastically change a situation, now as an adult, you've mastered the art of speech. But as you sit still on his thighs, body warm and inhibitions blurred by the alcohol, your loose lips have led you back to the very thing you try to avoid.

"It's hard not to think so when you've grown up this much."

In a flash, Jungkook is now hovering over your face as he places you back down on the couch, his nose a hair's width from touching yours and his hands planted on each side of your head. 

There's a feral hunger swimming in his eyes as it stared into yours, desperate and intense before it fell to the plush of your parted lips and his gaze darkens. All of a sudden, you're a prey pinned down by an apex predator who's ready to devour you at any given moment.

Fire alarms blared in your mind and you regained control over your senses.

“Jungkook.”

"Noona."

You tried wriggling out of his grasp but it was no use, he's stronger. "Get off of me, kid."

“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a kid anymore?”

“I'm not hearing anything out when you're acting like this, Gguk.”

He scoffed. “I just want to sleep here, in the same bed, nothing else is gonna happen. Why is it such a bad thing?”

“It's different now, Gguk. Come on, let me go.”

“How is it so different? You and Jimin hyung cuddle sometimes, I've seen you fall asleep next to Hobi hyung once, why is it different with me?”

“It's different because we're both drunk and things could happen.”

“I wouldn't mind it.” Jungkook responds with a cheeky smile. His grip on one of your wrist loosened enough that you were able to hit his arm and he giggled in response.

“But I do. It wouldn't be fair.”

Even something as small as letting one member stay at your home without the others can be the loudest announcement for the rest of the group. All those times you've rejected your friends, with reasons like ‘I don’t want to risk everything’, and ‘I don't want to hurt the others’, to turn back around to accept their youngest would be hypocritical of you.

He scoffs. "You tell us about all your stupid dates, don't you think it's more unfair for us?”

A familiar weight grows in your chest. Guilt tasted like rust on your tongue and dug into your heart with a ribbed knife. Your own late night thoughts manifesting before you and you pushed him away.

After everything, you were all friends, you trusted them more than you do with your other circle. There's not a secret left undiscussed between the eight of you so it was no surprise that you had indulged them with the details of your quest for a husband. Nobody ever raised any complaints with you sharing your days so you never thought twice about it.

It's been five years since Jin had confessed, three for Taehyung. Their eldest had confessed for the sake of him finally being able to move on after your rejection and with how he acted after, you had believed him. It was different for Taehyung who had continued to act like normal after his confession, neither dejected nor did he show signs of letting go but he did introduce a date to your group once, a year later, so you had assumed the same.

Were you wrong after all?

“Jungkook, we're drunk. Let’s talk about this tom—”

“I've never been more sober in my life than I am right now, noona.”

You didn't respond, couldn't reply.

What were you supposed to even say?

Jungkook usually obeyed you and his hyungs without hesitation, happily offering his aid whenever he could. He's the type of friend who's run himself dry just to fetch you a cup of water from the other side of the world but now as he hovers over you, he became a whole new person.

Greed has always been an irritating parasite that eats away at a person's morals but somehow in your drunken mind, you thought it looked so good on him. It fits him and his generous character the way one light clothing molds well with the dark fabrics. His familiar scent of vanilla and coconut clouded your senses, calming your panicking mind into a hush, leaving nothing but the thoughts of how his lips tasted and wondering if he’s as sweet as he smelled.

He let out a shaky exhale from through his mouth as he watched your parted lips with a rapt attention as if hypnotized by the way they subtly trembled with every breath that passed through.

In the pregnant silence of your room, his voice cuts through like a knife.

“Can I kiss you?”

He whispers against your lips, voice breaking in the middle from the weight of his request, honeyed and pleading, as if your kiss holds the answer to the problems of the world and holds the power to break him.

His hand travels up to cup your cheek oh so carefully like you're fragile china yet you feel yourself shatter under his touch.

You are losing grasp on your sober thoughts as lust starts to cloud your already compromised judgment, his request far too tempting to ignore.

Maybe a kiss wouldn’t hurt. 

But wouldn’t it be unfair for the others who have expressed their romantic intentions to you since years ago? 

It was a last ditch effort to reason with your mind and your body froze from the cold wave of realization. In the short time after his question, you recall the confessions you turned down to not ruin the relationship Bangtan has established for themselves and the bitter taste it left on your tongue.

“Jungkook… we can’t.”

Watching his expression contort into confused hurt almost made you want to take your words back, but your mind takes you to memories of apologetic and understanding smiles you’ve received throughout the years and the aches from those moments resurfaces, squeezing your heart in a tight grip.

“I-I’m sorry I can’t control my feelings, I just wanted to tell you about it… Thought that maybe after this, I could move on.” An apologetic voice whispers, the memory of premature confessions in the middle of a cleanup resurfacing.

“I can’t—I can’t do it to them, it’d be unfair.”

You pushed him back and he relented, letting himself be sat back onto the other side of the couch defeatedly. Despite it, his tight grip on your waist remained, pulling you flush to him and burying his face in your chest as if trying to hear the lie in your words through the beatings of your heart.

“I’m also seeing Guwon now.”

“Then don’t let me meet him. I-I don’t know if I can take it.”

It was heart wrenching and at the same time, left an uncomfortable twist in your stomach. Jungkook never had to beg since you first met him, everything he could ever want was given to him by you and his hyungs without hesitation. Hearing him plead for you to never bring Guwon around if fate had actually paired you both, it was a different kind of pain.

It felt like thorns growing and rooting its stems of pointy ends into the deepest parts of your heart. You hated this, but you don’t want to hurt any of your boys by accepting one.

Relief comes in the form of Taehyung when he busted into your apartment while Jungkook has excused himself to your bathroom to sober up just a moment before. Seokjin trails behind him, calmer than the younger man who declared his arrival with a deep voice and a loud bang of the door. You immediately thought of the elderly couple and the new family of three living next to you and internally facepalmed.

“Noona! We’ve come to take Jungkook away!”

Kim Seokjin’s face has never been more handsome when he closed the door behind him, and you verbalized your thought, leading his ears to glow red in embarrassment.

“Am I only handsome to you when I’m closing the doors?! This face that people fawn over all over the world?!”

“It’s your true calling, door guy.”

“Oh shut it hyung, you’re making my head hurt.” Jungkook mutters as he reentered the living room, looking far better than when he left.

The tension was palpable, the effect of a rejected profession still raw and thick in the small joined space of the living room and kitchen and you caught Jin's eyes as the two youngest bickered, there’s a knowing look passed between you, an unsaid ‘let’s talk later’ hanging in the air.

“Hey, just because you got to escape Hoba’s practice without scratch doesn't mean you're hot shit, show me some respect!”

Seokjin scolds, accompanied by a playful kick to their youngest’s butt. Immediately the stuffy air dissipates and Jungkook responds in kind; by kicking him in the shin, hard enough to launch Seokjin into another lengthy nag.

It was a quick retrieval after his rant. Jungkook lets himself be towed out of your apartment by an oddly enthusiastic Taehyung who's going on about a new game trailer he saw online while Jin has offered to be left behind to clean up the mess. It was no doubt obvious, the familiar awkwardness and tenseness brought by a rejected confession lingered in the air when they arrived, it only took him one look at you and he already knew. 

The moment the door slams shut behind the boys, he immediately began:

“Did he admit it?”

His voice was soft yet it rang loudly in the pindrop silence of your living room. The sigh he let out echoed more when you nodded.

“I told him to not do it, you know? But you know how stubborn he gets.”

You didn’t reply. You simply move, walking to the trash bin to put the empty beer cans in and Jin follows close with the bowls stacked on top of each other to place in the sink. It was a brief moment of reprieve. He let the moment from earlier simmer in your stomach, let the smoke from it fill your lungs and weigh your heart till you burst.

Out of the seven boys, you've always turned to either him or Yoongi as they're older than you, so it came to nobody's shock when you break and told him.

“It just never gets better, I always feel guilty even if I didn’t choose. I’m just lucky I didn’t have to suffer through seven of these, I don’t think I could take it and just quit.”

It was a thought you’ve entertained when Taehyung came to you with his heart in his hand, giving it to you carelessly despite knowing how you’ve handled the other confessions. He was all dopey smiles and flushed cheeks, it continued even when you’ve pushed his heart back to him with an apologetic look.

Seeing the happy creases in his eyes iron out despite the huge boxy smile continuing to play on his lips, the existing pressuring guilt reawakened. Taehyung’s heart that gleamed and glowed gold, vulnerable for you to take and use from where it settled in the middle of his offering palms. You could’ve taken advantage of it all as they were rising in fame, when they were facing discrimination from the other companies and had found comfort in you but you didn’t.

Even with the attraction you've felt for them, you were nothing but a makeup artist to the company. Another asset to deploy and replace if it got annoying to handle. You couldn't risk your career on uncertainties, this is your dream job.

You loved them all equally and held them in the same regards as the others, they’re your best friends, chosen soul companions even without the marks to solidify it. 

They loved you and you loved them all but you wouldn't bet your life on an uncertain future.

“You should give us more credit, you know?” 

He says from the kitchen sink, the sound of water slowing into a halt. Seokjin didn’t move for a while. When he did, it was to place down the plates, washing his hands before turning around to face you.

“We’re grown adults now, we can handle rejection so don’t feel too bad about it. You can choose and we’d even help you keep it a secret from everyone besides us eight.”

It was genuine. Even in the haze of your intoxication, those words felt like a cool balm for your aching heart. While Namjoon’s words were cited research, formal and factual and Yoongi’s were calming droughts to ease the discomfort of sadness brought by gloomy thoughts, Seokjin speaks from the heart, true and unbiased but says it with a gentleness and care. 

Guilt sets like a boulder on your heart. Being able to feel, to experience such a privilege when all you've done is break his heart since your hunt for a husband, the weight in your chest multiplied and tears sprung from your eyes.

You wanted them but you couldn't risk your dream job, couldn't risk a friendship as precious as theirs for kisses and hugs that eventually has its ends.

You didn’t even notice it when he crossed the distance between you both and pulled you plush to his chest but you recognized the familiar sensation of plush lips pressing against your forehead.

If it lingered a few seconds past what's platonically allowed, you didn’t mention it.

Seokjin’s muted scent of freshly baked cakes brought silence to the rampaging waves of thoughts in your mind and if you pressed your nose flush to his chest to bury yourself in his fragrance, he didn’t say anything, bringing one hand behind your head protectively.

“I'm sorry to put you through this pain, Jinnie. I-I didn’t know.”

“I knew you didn’t know but I'll be fine... eventually.” He breathes out before leaning down to bury himself into the nest of your hair. "As long as you're happy, then I am too."

It was heavy, being loved and held so preciously even after you’ve turned him down, it felt cruel, sadistic even. But like the selfish woman you are, you accepted it. Soaked in his affections greedily.

“You know, he asked me to never show Guwon around you guys.”

He sighed. “I knew he would.”

“Do you want that as well?

Silence followed but you heard his answer loud and clear.

The second date happened after the first leg of the tour in Seoul.

Although planned suddenly, you appreciated the downtime after being lost in the haze of rushed outfit changes, reapplying makeup, and patting sweat from foreheads. If anything, you were thankful you could loosen up after earlier. The awkward tension didn’t go amiss, it only took Namjoon and Yoongi one look between you and Jungkook before taking charge on how the night progresses.

Yoongi didn't waste any time waving you over to ask for help for his makeup, even when he was already being prepped by one of your older colleagues, Ji hae. Thankfully, the woman lets you take over, saying she wanted a snack anyways.

The man didn't bother asking you what happened and settled comfortably in his chair but not before offering you the snack he bought earlier and was laying neglected on his lap. Yoongi asked about Guwon in a hushed voice, because while you were living in a reverse harem with most of his brothers, he was genuinely curious about your boyfriend-to-be.

Maybe it was the fact he has never admitted his affections for you that made it comfortable to discuss topics you could never talk about with the others with him, but you let your tongue a little loose.

And he listened.

Yoongi has always been a man of action not words, his love language has always been opening water bottles, blankets appearing from nowhere when you're passed out on their couch, and listening attentively. Despite what the world says about his nonchalance and silence, in your eyes, he's the sweetest guy on the roster—not that you'd tell Jimin that of course, he'd riot if he were to find out.

By the end of the concert, Guwon asks you on an impromptu date. A simple late night walk on a market nearby because there's apparently a food fair, and as usual, the expenses are on him. Hungry with a principle of never turning down free food, of course you accepted. 

Though you had a long time deciding whether to go or not with Jungkook’s confession still fresh.

Minutes later, he's waiting for you by the exit. The scene of him leaning on his Mercedes, waiting for you to reach him at the bottom of the stairs looks like it was pulled out of a kdrama.

Oddly enough, they didn’t question your lack of updates in the group chat but Jimin reached out later on and you suspect he told everyone your whereabouts instead, hopefully minus the date part to spare the others (read: Jungkook) from heartbreak.

The fair looked like a mirage of a paradise in the night hidden away in a small gently-lit up alley. The path was lightened up with gentle lanterns hung above you, the warm colors setting a more intimate scene. It wasn’t as luxurious as dinner from yesterday or as calming as the bike ride around the Han river but you appreciated it nonetheless.

You’re ready to drop dead but you pushed through, you wanted this relationship to work. Because then, maybe the monsters—your mother and her wide selection of personalities as well as aunties, her friends, trying to refer you to their horrible sons—haunting you from under your bed will finally leave you alone.

It was cruel that you’re using someone else to erase the memory of being professed to by one of your best friends.

Guwon was happy enough to take charge the whole date, leading you from food stall after food stall, ordering whatever your eyes lingered at which is half of what the fair offers. He understands your lack of responses as it is, tired from work, and talked enough for the both of you. Which you are grateful for.

He talked about his job and what happened that day, willingly telling you about the story of how he and his co-workers clicked back in College, never to part till now in the field they wanted. He spoke of his dreams, how he envisioned his dream home by the province surrounded by nature and the cat named Nabi waiting for him at home.

There's nothing more blatant of a signal than the last part, whether you accept it or not depends on you.

Normally, you would've frowned at the thought, immediately thinking of running away but as the night deepens and stalls start to close, the idea grows more and more tempting despite the logical voice in your head disagreeing. Seeking a distraction and possibly leading on a kind man is cruel, both to him and you.

But at the end of the day, it’s just an escape from the reality you're stuck in, a temporary answer to a long time problem. 

How harmful can it be? 

People had hookups before, you’ve had hookups before your mother has started a hunt for your husband this year so what are you so reluctant for? 

If this man is to be your husband, you should check your physical compatibility right?

You shivered. God, you sounded like one of those shitty guys you’ve dated before.

"Hey, the stalls just closed. Are you fine with me driving you back to your house?"

His voice cuts through your deep thoughts and you turn to him. Even in the dimly lit corner of the alley, Guwon looked attractive as ever with his dimpled smile and laid back attitude, his soft eyes gleaming under the lanterns, affections overflowing from his gaze and you. shuddered from its weight. 

Staring at the man, you wondered if you'd ever fall in love with him as he seemed right now.

Soon enough, you both arrive in front of your apartment building. However, not every plan goes through as you thought it'd go and you find two familiar figures rushing down to meet you. 

Taehyung didn't hesitate to run up to you with open arms and a wide smile. He didn't even care that you both almost toppled over if it wasn't for Guwon hand supporting you from the back.

"Wh-why are you two here? Shouldn't you guys be resting?"

Jimin shrugged but you caught the mischievous glint in his eyes as a small smile tugs his lips. "Hyung got so worried and wanted us to make sure you got home safely."

"Even a thumbs up would be great but you ignored every text and call! Jin hyung panicked and sent us out, if you didn't come home, he would've had a huge manhunt for you." Taehyung chimed in, pulling away but keeping his hands on your shoulders as he stared deep into your eyes, as if trying to hypnotize you into believing them.

Jimin snickered. “Yoongi hyung was an hour away from declaring you missing so the good dongsaengs we are, we decided to camp outside your apartment.”

You would've accepted his explanation, it was logically sound yet the dark glint of mischief and something else in his eyes as his gaze bounced from you to Guwon told you a different story.

They've always had to interrupt your dates when it becomes sour but this was the first time they've confronted a potential partner outside the intentions of ruining a date because you wanted it to suck.

This was them laying their claim over their own, a silent statement. A declaration you try not to think so much about, fearing you'd dig yourself deep and fall to your death.

“These must be one of your kids?” Guwon asks from behind, reminding you of his presence and you turn to him with an apologetic look.

“Yeah, Taehyung and Jimin. I practically raised them.”

Jimin scoffs and your head snapped to him, widening your eyes in warning to which he ignored. “Just because you’re a year older, doesn’t mean you could say you raised us you know?”

“See what I deal with everyday?” 

Guwon laughs lightheartedly before patting your head to get your attention. “Since your kids are here to protect you, I should get going now.”

“Drive safely.”

“See you soon?”

“Definitely.”

Then he placed a haste kiss on the edge of your lips, catching you off guard and you froze. Guwon was already in his car by the time you realized what happened and turned to chastise him. You couldn't even knock on the passenger window when the arms coiled around your shoulders tightened and tugged you close.

Letting Guwon kiss you in front of one of the men who confessed to you once was the first mistake, second was looking up at Taehyung whose hug is starting to hurt.

Gone were the usual giddiness and child-like enthusiasm that would pour from his eyes. It was replaced by a colder glare, almost blank and emotionless as it narrowed behind you and jaw locked tight. There was something primal in the way his hand behind your head was pushing you closer to him as if he was hounding over his game from another predator.

Goosebumps prickled your skin awake.

If butterflies exploded in your stomach and ignited a molten heat in your abdomen at that very moment, it's a secret you’d take to your grave.

“Tae?”

“Noona, I think we should head inside. It's getting cold.” Jimin’s sweet voice sounded forced and you resisted the urge to look at him.

While their reaction to being challenged is obvious, you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why he should feel like that when he’s been seeing other people since his confession. From your past dates where he attended as one of your escape plans, he’s  never expressed such an intense show of displeasure so you thought his fleeting crush had passed.

Until tonight.

When Taehyung pulled away, the traces of his hostility were gone and you had to double take at how vastly different he's appearing now. He has his lower lip pushed out into a pout, eyes wide with mirth as he reaches up to cup your cheeks, his warm palms heating your cold-nipped skin.

“Aigoo, you're so cold noona. Let's go in and binge that foreign show you've been following.”

With hands now intertwined, he leads you inside the building where Jimin was already standing inside and was holding the door open for you both. You were being tugged into your own home yet you couldn’t help but feel tense as Taehyung and Jimin welcomed you back in with the same dark look you saw earlier.

[persianflaw]

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! The M*A*S*H fanfiction community has been approved! actually it was approved two weeks ago but i was on vacation

This community is open to any and all fans of M*A*S*H fic. Whether you're a writer, a reader, or a total newbie, this space is for you! You can talk about fics you've loved, ask for advice about a sticky plot point in your latest WIP, ask for recommendations for a ship you like, share an AO3 link to your latest fic, or share snippets from your work; the world is your oyster!

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So when you join this group, don't just talk to people you already know. That defeats the point of joining this kind of community, anyway! Make an effort to talk to someone new. Leave a gushing comment about a stranger's fic excerpt. Tag someone who you think has a really cool interpretation of a character you like. Reply to a post that hasn't gotten any attention. Include people who seem a little shy. Be open and friendly and welcoming.

[yuus-sentient-teddy]

"You're Staying Here." Part 2

Part 1

((I started writing this in December 2023 and it's finally finished five months later ;w; Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in this story! I sincerely hope you enjoy part two!))

Tag list: @luminisciel

'Of course it can't be that easy to forgive,' he thought bitterly.

"I know you're changing. I've seen your progress and I'm happy you're becoming better, but. . ." Yuu's head lightly shook side to side, face apologetic.

"Sometimes, whenever someone looks down on me for not knowing basics in magic, I remember when you called me inadequate for not having 'proper' education and making it sound like my parents were lesser for being magicless. The way that person talks and looks at me are too similar to the way you talked and looked. It's like they're refusing to see me more than what I don't have."

"Even after we saved you from your Overblot, I kept thinking you still thought of me and my family that way until you told me that I was an honorary member of Heartslabyul and showed that you like hearing me talking about my family. I do like hanging out with you. It's just that your face and words are something I can't not remember no matter how hard I try."

It was like Riddle got punched again. He felt as though he lost his breath and footing; he couldn't form any words. He had caused so much distress to members of Heartslabyul dorm during his reign as dorm leader, and he worked hard to rectify it. The efforts extended to the Ramshackle Prefect, from offering to help them with their studies to inviting them and Grim to Unbirthday Parties. Though it was awkward in the beginning, Yuu never once was unkind to him. That was why he felt sick learning that his past self left such a terrible and strong impression.

"Azul."

He swallowed, having an inkling of what they were going to say.

"I came to this world with nothing," they said. "I have no one to support me if something happens. Ramshackle Dorm was my only shelter and you had the audacity to take it away. Do you know what that's like?"

Their voice rose. The apologetic feelings they had for Riddle was absent for Azul, instead being replaced by hurt and exasperation.

"The headmaster is probably the closest to parental support, but he wasn't going to hesitate to let Grim and I starve if I didn't fix something you caused and he could've easily fixed."

Someone murmured a dumbfounded 'what?' while Azul nervously adjusted his glasses. "Sure, he could be nicer and a hell lot more competent, but you at least could have been decent and used something else for collateral or--I don't know--let me still live there while I ran your stupid errand of stealing from a museum? Did that ever cross your mind or were you just thinking how great it was that someone who can't even fight back--someone who could also get into deep shit for not having an identity in this world--was doing your dirty work? You even sent Floyd and Jade to make sure I wouldn't win--and let me remind you that Ramshackle is literally one of the only things I have in this world!"

Azul felt his cheeks burn. On either side of him, the Leech twins were quiet. He didn't dare glance to see how everyone else was reacting, he had a feeling what their expressions were. He could even feel the burning stares if he let his mind linger too long.

He wasn't sure how he was going to respond. He was already caught off guard by what Yuu revealed earlier and feeling a little guilt for having a hand in their rough experience in Night Raven College. The thing was, Yuu had never expressed any discomfort being around him--although, he was starting to wonder something.

He noticed they made a certain face whenever he brought up anything related to his contracts: a half smile paired with squinting eyes; what seemed to be part amusement, part feeling of being tired but still wanting to hang around. Had he misread that as a friendly expression? Was it actually discomfort? Disgust?

But that seemed to be the only outstanding thing. They sometimes sought him out to get his opinion on something or have long, pleasant chats. He still remembers the encouraging words they gave back in the Atlantica Memorial Museum all those months ago. There was also that vulnerable moment when they asked how he managed to deal with bullies.

So what about what they just said? From how much anger was in their voice and the gathering tears in their eyes, he wondered if their anger towards him had been bubbling just underneath the entire time, making itself known whenever he was around. If that was the case, then did that mean their friendly interactions with him was just them trying to get over their anger?

Or were they forcing themself to like him despite the grudge, finding that his expertise and skill sets were worth tolerating him?

The thought made his chest ache. He really thought he and the Prefect of Ramshackle were. . . were something like friends.

Jamil felt cold when Yuu's eyes turned to him.

"Let me ask you something, Jamil. Did it ever hit you that I might have been at my limit by the time winter break came around? You of all people should know how debilitating exhaustion can be."

"I was looking forward to sitting in front of the fireplace, have some hot cocoa, and chat the night away with the Ramshackle ghosts and Grim. You know, get a break from the chaos of the school and have some time to get back my sanity."

"But then you dragged me into a coup--and if only it was as simple as that! Get put through a training camp from hell and forced to march in a scorching desert and get searing sunburns? Watch other people suffer the same things and be powerless to help? Get hypnotized and make a choice I didn't want to make and become a hostage in an unknown dorm? Sure, why not!" Yuu threw their arms into the air. "It's not like I wasn't having an awful enough time in this damn school!"

Jamil knew he would be next at some point. He didn't blame them for being angry at him, not after all they've been through, so when he saw movement in the corner of his eyes, he said, "Kalim, you don't have to say anything."

"But--"

"Just drop it. This shouldn't be a surprise anyway."

"Were you going to say how Jamil has been working to make up for his actions?" Yuu asked tersely. "Kalim, I know what he's been doing, but that doesn't mean I've forgiven him for the shit he pulled!"

"No, no, it's not that!" Kalim said. "It's just that you're usually an open person. I'm wondering why you didn't bring this up with any of them sooner or even to us."

"I can't imagine how hard the school year has been for you. Getting pulled away from your home suddenly, having to get used to a new world, and being bullied. You've been angry and hurt for a long time, and I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way."

"It's great that you made many friends along the way. Despite the shaky beginning, I've seen you smiling and having a great time while hanging out with us here! And I haven't heard of any major disagreements. That includes with Jamil, Azul, and Riddle."

"All of us are your friends, Yuu, and we want you to be all right. It should be okay to share whatever has been bothering you. The last thing anyone wants is for you to be super uncomfortable or burdened by feelings of hurt and sadness."

He wasn't accusing Yuu of anything. He just wanted to understand them, and it was crystal clear from the way he spoke. Now that they thought about it, perhaps that little bit of sadness in his eyes was because the situation was kind of similar to his and Jamil's: Jamil never told Kalim about what he was dealing with and his wounds festered until they became fuel for his Overblot. For Yuu, it wouldn't culminate into anything that serious, but Kalim would want to help all the same.

They could have cried again from the blatant concern for them.

Finding their voice, they said, "Whatever happened is in the past. I don't see the point in bringing up things we want to move on from. I could either cling onto anger and have high blood pressure every time I see certain people, or I could let bygones be bygones and let you all learn and grow from your mistakes."

Then it hit them and they looked down guiltily. "Except I went against what I said just now and talked about stuff from the past."

"That's because you're still hurting. It's not good for you to continue like that and who knows what it might do to you if you don't talk about it," Kalim said.

"You also can't force yourself to be okay," Ace added. They didn't say anything.

"Yuu, if I may ask," Azul said, "have you been pretending to like being around us?"

They blinked, a little surprised. Their head shook a little, side to side. "No. Where did you. . ."

They shut their eyes and sighed deeply. Then, haltingly, they admitted, "Sometimes I just don't want to be in the same room as any of you."

Riddle felt his heart break a little and Azul inhaled sharply through his nose, like a gasp. Jamil's shoulders sagged and he looked down. And the rest wondered if Yuu had felt the same with them.

For some, it was kind of understandable: there would only be so many interactions before you want to be with someone else (but they will say it stung that Yuu felt so repulsed that they wanted to get away from them). For others, they either didn't want to entertain the thought or had entertained the thought and felt their soul get brutally crushed.

"But here's the thing." Yuu spoke louder. "All of us are dumb and stupid and young, and sometimes selfish as hell. But overall, you guys aren't that bad and I do like hanging out with you all. I really do. I just wish the terrible things that happened didn't happen." Then, to themself, "And I didn't have to bear with it."

"What about the Overblots? Did they also affect you?" Jamil asked.

"Yes, but you all weren't in the right state of mind when they happened and I don't think it's fair to fault you guys for whatever you did while in that state. That goes for the rest of you, too."

Yuu rubbed the back of their neck, looking down. "But if I'm being completely honest, I've had night terrors that sometimes woke Grim and I up from me screaming."

"Ah--" they waved their hands frantically--"you don't need to worry, though! I already talked to the counselor about them. Heh, you should've seen his face when I came in telling him about the seventh Overblot and the dreams from it. He was actually ready to give the headmaster a piece of his mind. 'You shouldn't have to go through things like that!' he said. Come to think of it, that was pretty unprofessional, so kudos to me, I guess."

"Yuu, that's. . ." Epel trailed off, a little concerned.

"I know. It's terrible. At least I got some good techniques for managing nightmares."

They slowly sighed. "I think that's all from me, although I really should apologize for airing out dirty laundry at a time like this. If no one has anything to say to me, we can go back to talking about saving Grim."

"Actually, there's something I want to say."

All eyes went to Jamil. "I've been meaning to tell you this after my Overblot, but I was waiting for the right moment to do it properly. Considering what we're about to face, this might be that moment, even if it isn't as formal as I want it to be. Yuu, I'm sorry for forcing you into a highly stressful situation when you needed to rest, and for the way I got you involved. You didn't deserve to go through the ordeal, especially when an Overblot occurred."

He bowed deeply. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I'm sorry for what I did."

"I'm sorry as well," Azul said. "For being insensitive to your housing situation and the vulnerabilities and difficulties of being someone outside of this world. It wasn't truly fair to you, someone who had to deal with power imbalances and the cruelties of those with power." He took off his hat and held it over his chest as he bowed.

"I'm also sorry, Yuu," Riddle said. "I'm deeply ashamed by my actions at the beginning of the school year and I'm sorry that it still hurts so much. I hope that one day that pain no longer torments you and no one ever looks at you like you have nothing to offer."

When he straightened himself up a moment later, Yuu looked like they were on the verge of crying.

"Are you okay?!" he asked, panicked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." A stray tear fell and Yuu wiped their eyes, then they smiled at each of them.

"Thank you, all of you," they said. There seemed to be a shift in their demeanor: somehow, they seemed brighter and their shoulders seemed less stiff, like a cumbersome burden had been lifted.

This look suits them better, the boys thought.

Finally, after a little more back and forth, Yuu was allowed to go with the group to save Grim--on the condition that they stayed far, far away. That was fine with them; they just needed to see for themself that everything would work out.

"Yuu."

They were trailing behind the group, looking through their bag. Apparently, Leona had been trailing behind the group too. "Yeah?"

". . . I'm sorry." They blinked, surprised.

"About wha--" The botanical garden and in Savanaclaw Dorm during the investigation of the mysterious injuries. "Is it for the first time we met and when you beat up my friends? I'm going to be honest, I almost forgot about them with everything happening."

"So I didn't need to say it?" He wasn't angry.

"No, no. I actually do appreciate it. It was pretty terrifying, when you said you were going to take my tooth, when I literally woke up in another world without knowing what the heck was happening. Not to mention, being at risk of another beat down when I was already dealing with threats and assholes."

"Yeah, yeah, you needed some mercy, which not a lot of people at school can give," he said.

"Yeah, but at least there are people in this school who know when to own up to something and apologize for it. So, thank you."

He met Yuu's smile with a smirk. "Sure, just don't mention it to the others."

They scoffed, smile still present. "Let me guess, to keep up the merciless princely front, right?"

They had just started walking when Leona called for them again.

"Hey. Earlier, when you said you thought we all didn't think you were worthy enough to stand beside us and had been tolerating you the entire time--don't ever assume that again."

Yuu was taken aback by his hard, pointed glare. "You're in a different position compared to your first day here, and everyone can see it. Even if they can't, it doesn't mean that you're not deserving of your place. If you need me to spell it out for you, here: you're worth all the effort you made to get to where you are now. Don't ever let anyone--even the people you idolize--make you forget that or make you lose your progress."

Their mouth had fallen open. "I. . ."

"Come on, I can see your friends worrying about you."

"Uh--" Leona had started walking and Yuu quickly matched his steps. "Thank you," they said.

He hummed in acknowledgment.

Yuu was alone on the battlefield.

No no no! How did that happen?! Yuu was hidden behind a column, last he saw. . . before getting hit with a spell that made him lose his breath.

Damn it!

"Prefect!" he cried. "Get out of there!"

Other yells joined his, but Yuu didn't glance at any of them. Not too far was Grim, shaking off the effects of a spell. His glowing blue eyes narrowed as they locked onto Yuu and a growl rumbled out of his maw. The Ramshackle Prefect met his gaze evenly and their shoulders were relaxed, like they knew he wouldn't actually hurt them.

Grim let out a dual-toned bark. They didn't flinch.

He lowered himself to the ground. . . and leaped.

"Yuu!"

"Prefect!"

Yuu felt warm air huffing onto their face. They slowly opened their eyes and found themself face to nose with Grim's snout. They looked at his eyes and found no traces of anger, which had been present throughout the fight with the NRC mages. That was when they realized he was whining like a sad dog.

"Grim?" they softly said.

"I'm sorry." There were two voices speaking simultaneously. The louder one was low and dark; the quieter one was much higher and a little nasally, exactly like Grim's normal voice. "I didn't want you to go and I broke the Dark Mirror. Now you'll never see your family again."

Yuu felt tears welling up in their eyes. The despair upon seeing the shattered frame and glass shards pulsed in their chest.

"I knew how much you wanted to go home, but I. . . I couldn't stop myself from blowing up. I wanted you to be next to me when I become a great mage. I didn't want to be alone again. But I ruined everything, and I'm so sorry."

Yuu gently touched his snout. "I know, and I know you didn't mean to ruin anything. But at least everyone is still alive. And while another way is being searched, at least you'll be able to keep me company in Ramshackle Dorm."

Big drops of tears slipped down Grim's face and created dark trails on his fur. His sobs echoed in the space around them.

He began to shrink. The chimeric parts of him--the hands, the snake-shaped tail, the wings--morphed and disappeared. The flaming mane extinguished. Very soon, Yuu was able to wrap their arms around him and he could burying his face into their shirt and cling onto them.

Their friends and upperclassmen gathered around.

"Thank goodness it's over," Ace said, sighing.

"I'm glad everything worked out in the end," Kalim said cheerily.

"Not quite. Grim still needs to face the headmaster and S.T.Y.X. for what he's done," Jamil said.

"He's going to need someone to be by his side when they happen," Yuu said, petting Grim's head. "I'm staying here for a while, so it'll be just like usual."

[cupcakeslushie]

Okay. I've been tip-toeing around this AU for a while now, but I just got caught up, and now I think I have a (decent) grasp on what's going on. So I wanna go over everything I know so far to see if I'm right or wrong on anything. Don't know if you'd be willing to correct me or not. Either way, I hope my mistakes can help you understand what to clarify to other fans like me. But, I also have some questions. You probably won't be able to answer most of them, but it's at least worth a shot.

First, where's Venus? Like, why is she not in your comics that are (sort of) separate frome the canon now story. The ones that skip to the future way after all the turtles reunite. Did she die? Did she escape? Is it because she wasn't introduced yet when you made those comics?

Two, why do you keep on making references to the future timeline? I know you're planning on possibly making your own stuff leading up to the events of the movie. It just gives me a jumpscare when I see certain...imagery in those comics. I guess you're hinting at what your version of the future apocalypse would look like, but it just hurts to see. Specifically in the comic explaining both the events and aftermath of the movie and the bad future timeline. It's starting to really confuse my brain as to where this story is headed. What's meant to be the main focus? The Hamto's reuniting? The aftermath? Or the future?

Third, did you make all those min-comics before you started the actual AU? Or did you do them during?

Fourth, are any of those mini-comics relevant to the actual story now? Or have you changed your mind on a few things? It's just that everything is so all over the place, I don't really know whether to trust if they're accurate. I know most of them are just there for funzies, but the longer ones concern me. I guess I'm just not used to the storyteller doing sequel, start, prequel, start, sequel, prequel, prequel, sequel, and then end. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm sleep deprived.

My little observation speech is gonna take a while for me to get out in your asks because when I get theoretical, my speech gets long, and my proper English goes down the drain. So I'll be back. I appreciate your work very much. Despite the pain it causes me, it's still amazing.

I’ll try my best to clear up what confusion I can!

1. As far as Venus. The answer is kind of a mix of, I was still figuring out her design and backstory while coming out with some of those early comics, and then, once I had that down, I wanted the boys to grow strong bonds as a main cast. That’s why a lot of the side characters are only making small appearances in the Sep!AU Life stories, as those are mainly for the boys reconnecting. (Usagi shows up the most because I love him and am totally biased towards him).

This maybe hasn’t been stated outright, but I wasn’t really expecting so many ppl to like Vee as much as they do, and now im trying not to spoil too much of her story. It’ll unfortunately just take us a while to get to the meat of it. Since the boys reconnecting takes up a lot of the early s1s2 story, Im trying to follow the familiar Rise blueprint of Draxum, Shredder, Krang, and then in s3 we’ll have crazy fun new stories with the extra characters.

Ive also decided to take this little nugget from one of the Q&As, and use it for Venus instead of Jennika. It was a much needed bit of inspiration to explain why Venus sorta disappears for a while and will go through some major physical changes (not yet revealed) before the family can figure out a way to reach her.

2. I’m not sure if you mean jump scared in a bad/triggering or neutral way, but if you need me to tag anything on those posts please let me know!

The glimpses of the future timeline, are being scattered throughout wherever they parallel the present story in little ways, but that’s only for now. As we get closer to the movie plot, bigger chunks of the future will be revealed, because the future versions of the boys will have a larger role to play in the present timeline. So we will need more backstory than what the canon got. And also I just enjoy drawing my future versions so sometimes I don’t think too hard on a reason. I just like throwing them at ppl with no warning or reason.

When s2 ends, I plan on collecting all the future related stuff that’s been released, and recapping it for easier reading. Right now, it’s just little sprinkles of foreshadowing to give ppl an idea that, ‘oh crap. The doomed timeline is a bummer’. In my mind, I guess i thought it’d be kinda like a fun scavenger hunt for clues, but maybe ppl don’t like that 😅

3. All of the side-stories were written as the main comic was/is being released. A lot of them resulted from asks that just spawned the need to expand on certain ideas, or a desire to give all the turtles their time to shine.

For instance, when I was doing Donnie’s section of the main comic, it was a good few months where we hardly saw anyone but him and Venus. I wanted to just mix it up, and give Raph some love with his ‘Raph Time’ short. When Leo was front and center in the main, we hardly saw the others, so Mikey and Donnie got their little ‘Secrets’ short (and it was also I fun thank you for EW making it so far in the tmnt sep competition).

4. Anything that has been reworked/revised or just plain dropped should have an ‘Edit’ note because yes—I have gone back and changed some things, but more so from the asks i got in the early days, and some movie idea drafts.

All the short comics done in the last year, especially the ones that are listed in my pinned post, are canon and fall somewhere in the timeline. They’re like supplemental reading though—extra meat to give the world and the characters more personality. They do have particular backstory plot and important info in them, but nothing that shouldn’t eventually be re-visited/repeated in the main story.

um I hope that cleared up some things! I know it’s kind of a crazy amount of lore. I’ve tried my best to organize it in the pinned post, huge timeline, and search bar tags, but I know it’s getting harder and harder for newer ppl to jump in as it just get bigger. Thanks for reading regardless!

[frickingnerd]

the aftermath of that night

pairing: qrow branwen x gn!reader

summary: after a one night stand with qrow, you start to avoid him. but qrow demands to know why you're avoiding him!

tags: smut/suggestive, hook up/one night stand, idiots to lovers, angst with a happy end, confession (reader to qrow), oblivious!qrow, qrow calling reader 'sweetheart', angst to silly fluff

“where do you think you're going?”

qrow had you cornered, his hand gripping your wrist, to make sure you wouldn't run away again – just like you had the last few times the two of you crossed paths.

“i-i'm busy… can i leave?”

you looked up at qrow. you didn't struggle, nor did you raise your voice. you didn't plan on making a scene, since you knew qrow would never hurt you. but you still didn't want to be around him…

“you've been busy a lot recently. but i don't buy it.”

qrow loosened the grip on your wrist, to show good faith. but he wouldn't let you go until he got answers from you.

“i don't think you're actually busy. i think you're avoiding me. and you've been doing that ever since we hooked up!”

you looked away, but it was already too late. even when avoiding eye contact, your reaction gave you away. qrow had figured you out.

“so that's it. i knew it…”

qrow mumbled and let go of your wrist.

“was it that bad? if you didn't enjoy it, you could've said something… or was it that good~?”

qrow tried to lighten the mood a little, but it seemed not to work on you. instead of laughing, you only seemed to lower your head further and stare holes into the ground.

“so it was that bad, huh?”

“no, it was… alright”

that didn't sound very enthusiastic.

“listen sweetheart, just tell me what's up. if you don't want me around, then tell me. but don't expect me to be able to read your mind”

you sighed, slowly raising your head. your eyes met qrow's and your words got caught in your throat. you opened your mouth, struggling to tell him what's been bothering you.

“i… i enjoyed it a lot. but i was… kind of hoping for more…”

qrow smiled amused. that certainly wasn't the answer he had been expecting.

“well, if you want a round two we could always just go to your place now or–”

“not like that–!”

the mere suggestion of that made your cheeks turn red. it seems you really had to spell it out for qrow. how embarrassing…

“i was hoping we'd do more than just… you know. that maybe… this wasn't just a one time thing… and that you'd ask me on a date or something…”

you were mumbling those words to yourself, but qrow managed to pick up enough of what you were saying to understand what you meant.

“sooo you're saying… you have a crush on me~?”

qrow was acting overly flirty and cocky. but honestly, he was just overcompensating, as he tried to cover up how flustered he was getting. he was used to one night stands, but nobody had ever cared to return for a second night, let alone a date! this was a first for him…

in response to his question, you only nodded shyly. you still avoided eye contact, scared of qrow's reaction. but he gently lifted your chin with two of his fingers, to make you look up at him and see his genuine smile.

“if you wanted a date, there was no reason to be shy and avoid me. you're obviously my type and now that i know i'm yours too, i'd love to take you on a proper date!”

[betweenthings2]

1 and 4 for the cuddling prompts (gatty)🫶

Thank you for the ask!! The prompt list is here if anyone else wants to see it and all the prompt lists on my blog are tagged as 'prompts' =)

I'm so very sorry it took me so long to answer this. I have no good excuse, but I hope y'all enjoy.

Cuddling prompts 1. Digging at each others clothing in search of skin to feel even closer, and 4. The silent agreement to only speak in whispers and murmurs.

Digging at each others clothing in search of skin to feel even closer.

George is wearing too many layers, Matty decides. Really, it's only two layers, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt, but Matty would like it to be no layers, his hands against George's bare skin. Matty himself is similarly bundled up, the heating slow to come on and warm the house up when they'd just gotten home last night. Still, he'd like it if George were wearing less clothes. It's making post-nap cuddling very difficult, in Matty's humble opinion. He'd like to be closer, but there are all these layers between them.

George has been awake for a while, but Matty's only just woken up and he's pretty sure he could go back to sleep, if only he could get closer. In an effort to do just that, Matty starts by tugging at George's sweatshirt then running one hand under it, his t-shirt the only thing between his bare skin and Matty's hand. George lets him, the same way he let Matty burrow close and rest his head on George's chest and nap. It's not long before Matty starts to tug at George's t-shirt, too, though.

"What are you doin', love?" George murmurs.

"You've got too many layers on," Matty answers, petulant.

George can't help but chuckle at Matty's answer. He should have expected it, really. Matty likes contact. "That's kinda hypocritical, don't you think?" he counters, not minding the fact that he has a hand resting against Matty's bare hip, under his sweatshirt.

"Hypocritical?" Matty echoes. "I guess I could go nap on my own. Just be cold and lonely, but if you're gonna be mean to me," Matty lets himself trail off.

George squeezes Matty's hip and laughs again, saying, "'m just teasing, sweetheart, don't go anywhere."

"Are you gonna be nice to me?" Matty pushes, again tugging at George's t-shirt again.

"You're laying on me. How much nicer do you need me to be?"

Matty hums like he's considering, then responds, "Well, you called me a hypocrite and you've still got too many layers."

"I didn't call you a hypocrite," George corrects, combing fingers through Matty's hair. "I asked if you were maybe being hypocritical and it's still cold in here."

"We could be under the blankets together, but you wouldn't let me."

"You're impossible," George murmurs. "And it's not that I didn't let you, no one lets you do anything, it's that I said I might get up if you slept for a while. Do you want to be under the blankets?"

Matty nods. "Yeah."

"Ok, then," George agrees. "You'll have to get up, though."

Reluctantly, Matty sits up, then clamors to his feet and watches George do the same before pulling the bedding so Matty can get back into bed.

Matty goes to pull off his own sweatshirt, then pauses, asking, "You're gonna lay back down, too, right?"

George nods.

So Matty pulls off his sweatshirt and gets into bed, immediately pleased at how comfy he is. All he needs now is George, preferably without his sweatshirt. George follows Matty's lead though, and pulls off his own sweatshirt before laying down. Matty immediately cuddles close, resting his head back against George's chest draping an arm over his ribs.

"Happy?" George asks once Matty is settled.

Matty nods. "Very."

----

4. The silent agreement to only speak in whispers and murmurs.

The back lounge of the bus is quiet and still. Matty has no idea where they're going, but he can't bring himself to worry too much about that. He got a proper shower after the show at the venue, he's comfortably tired, and pressed close to George, his back against George's chest, while a film plays on the small TV mounted on the wall. They decided on the film together, but Matty hasn't really been following it. He's not as interested in following the film as he is simply being here with George.

He'd like to ask if George is still awake, like to share what he's thinking about, but it's so quiet. Matty would hate to break the peace, especially if George is asleep. He debates for just a few more minutes, then speaks.

"You awake?" Matty asks quietly. He supposes he could speak normally, but everything is too quiet, too still for him to dare being any louder than necessary.

"Yeah," is George's answer, his voice similarly hushed. "You ok?"

Matty nods. "I just wondered. I was just thinking."

"Oh? 'bout what?"

"You," Matty responds. "Us. How nice this is. I miss this, sometimes, when we're touring."

"This?" George echoes, half confused.

Matty nods again. "Bein' close to you. Like, when we're home, we get to do this kind of thing all the time. We get to just, like, hang out together and be close. 's hard to be close when we're living on a bus."

George presses a kiss into Matty's hair, and murmurs, "It is kinda hard, isn't it? Are you doin' ok?"

Matty kind of shrugs in answer.

"What's botherin' you?" George pushes.

"'s not that important" Matty mumbles. "'s silly."

George takes one of Matty's hands and intertwines their fingers and tries again, "It's important if it's bothering you."

Matty glance down at their hands, illuminated only by the low light of the film still playing and the way headlights cut through the gaps in the curtains, and lets them rest against his belly. The muscles there are tense, like he's debating between being vulnerable and running away, crawling int his own bunk and pulling the curtain closed.

"If it bothers you, it's important to me," George tries again.

Matty lets out a breath and makes an effort to relax before admitting, "I miss sleeping next to you. I know we have a hotel night soon, but it's hard to sleep without you."

"That's not silly," George promises quietly. "I sleep better with you, too."

"If I, uh," Matty yawns, "if I fall asleep here, will you-" another yawn.

"Will I what? Make you move?" George finishes.

Matty nods. "Would you?"

"Probably not. We'd both regret it, though."  

Matty makes a quiet noise of discontent and shifts to rest his head against George's chest. "I just don't wanna sleep alone. 's cold and lonely and I miss you."

"Cold?" George echoes. "You're like a space heater. How are you cold?"

"George," Matty whines.

George laughs, quiet, then murmurs, "I know. Sorry."

Matty can't help remember the days when they'd squeeze themselves into a single bunk, back when they were younger and more tolerant of discomfort and before his back really started to bother him if he wasn't careful. "I miss when we could both sleep in your bunk," he says.

"No, you don't," George responds. "Do you remember how cramped and uncomfortable that was? I love you, but I'm never sharing a bunk with you again."

"I always slept," Matty protests. "Always. Those times when I couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two and I'd climb into your bunk and I'd sleep. Every time."

George doesn't bother bringing up everything else that was going on back then. Instead, he runs his fingers through Matty's hair and murmurs, "If you wanna sleep here, I'll stay."

"Thanks, G. I love you."

[gt-abby]

Mar and Jake- chapter 7

Since you guys want it so bad, here it is, chapter seven!

Don't forget to reblog and comment what you think of the story so far (no pressure tho!)

Tag list: @soakedmilkgt

Chapter 1 chapter six chapter seven (you're here) chapter eight

----- 2400~ words

Mar froze. Then she remembered who it must be and she let herself relax. Jake got up rather quickly and looked through the peep hole just to make sure no one who shouldn’t would see his tiny friend, then opened the door with a relieved smile.

“Hey guys! I’m sorry I’m a bit late, got caught up.” Emily entered the apartment before Jake could offer her in. She then knelt down in front of Mar with a big smile and rubbed her head with a finger. Mar didn’t know how to react to that so she let her ruffle her hair, but she was in a bit of a shock. She still wasn’t used to anyone but Jake knowing about her situation. She still felt a few reservations about this, but she tried to reassure herself that Emily must be trustworthy. Jake quickly approached the two women and knelt down in front of Mar as well. That made her a bit uncomfortable- being surrounded by giant people that were looking down at her.

“So, you have to tell me, how come you can… shrink?” Jake just cut to the chase. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“Oh, I can grow, too.” Emily smirked and stood up, motioning for Jake to as well. Then, she slowly rose above him and touched the ceiling with her head. Jake and Mar were shell shocked, Mar more so than Jake. Now she was barely the size of Emily’s pinkie. This made her reservations about Emily grow, but as per usual she didn’t voice her concerns yet. She gulped, but Emily quickly shrunk back to regular human size.

Emily laughed, a rolling, contagious laugh. “Oh, this never gets old, your faces.” Jake returned a fake, nervous laughter. Mar didn’t.

“Anyway, to answer your question, I’ve always been able to do that. It took a few years to master it fully but now I’m a proper sizeshifter!” Emily exclaimed proudly. She then looked down at Mar and asked, “you can’t do that?” Mar shook her head. After meeting Emily for the first time, she tried commanding her body to grow back several times but nothing worked. Emily replied with a ponderous gaze.

“So your parents are… how did you call it .. ‘sizeshifers’ too?

“Oh no, they’re regular people. They know I can sizeshift, though. At first they thought it was a disease, but doctors have never found anything wrong with me, I was always perfectly healthy. But aside from me, no one that I know can do that, either.”

Mar wished Emily would shrink down to her size to keep her company and make her feel more comfortable, but she didn’t voice it. Emily didn’t seem to notice, and neither did Jake, that Mar was rather extremely uncomfortable at the moment.

Two giants were standing, towering above her, having a conversation between them as if she wasn’t there. If she were to speak up, would they even hear her? If she were to try to join in, would they even include her?

Those anxiety-driven thoughts plagued her mind as she spiraled into this deeply depressing mentality that she’s grown to feel weirdly comfortable with. She watched as the two titans sat down on the sofa and continued their conversation as if forgetting about her completely. She was invisible, non-existent perhaps.

“-Right, Mar?” she was pulled away from her thoughts by her name being called.

“Um, sorry what?” her voice broke, but it was so small she really hoped they didn’t hear it.

“Tell her what happened to you.”

“Oh, umm…” She hesitated, feeling embarrassed. But she sucked it up and retold the story again. No one interrupted her. She added her dream to it too, as to explain why it happened, but none of them actually understood exactly why. She ended up rambling for a few minutes, while Emily and Jake looked at each other as they listened. When Mar finally finished, she tried apologizing for talking so much, but the two reassured her that it was all okay.

“I’ve actually had a few dreams like what you’re describing, but I can barely remember them. I remember something, someone, who knew me, but I’ve never met before, appear in my dreams and to talk to me, but I can never remember what they were saying. I… think they were made out of a blue flame or something? I’m not 100% sure.” Emily became uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. Mar’s heart skipped a beat when Emily said she had those dreams too, but she was meekly disappointed to hear that she remembered none of it. How come she remembers but Emily doesn’t? Now she has more questions than answers. “Say, what’s it like being small all the time?” Emily asked Mar tactlessly, changing the subject. She then proceeded to jump onto the coffee table, shaking mar and almost making her fall in the process, while also shrinking back to her size and sitting, crosslegged, next to her. Emily saw the grim expression on Mar’s face and realized. “You don’t like it, huh, well I think it’s pretty cool, you get to be “babied” around, getting carried everywhere you want to go, and all the food I so huge you can eat all your favorites for forever!” She laughed, making Mar chuckle.

“Well, that’s one way of looking at it. But… it was so scary at first, I… I never wanted this to happen, all I’ve built up to in my life is now either useless or gone. My parents even didn’t take it well, so now I’m all on my own.” Mar felt bad about ruining the mood, but she felt like she had to let this feeling out.

“That’s not true, Mar, you have me,” Jake piped up. She looked up at him with a smile. He’s right. He’s been there for her at every turn. Even if she does’t fully feel comfortable leaning on him like that, but she certainly knows she can trust him.

“And me,” Emily exclaimed. “I know we don’t know each other all that well but I’m here for you, no matter what.” She rested her hand on Mar’s shoulder.

“Thanks, you guys,” Mar wiped away a tear. “I really needed that.” She let out a happy laugh of relief.

—

After a few more hours of the three of them hanging out, it was finally time for Emily to go home. Mar felt. Ted bit sad to see her go, her energy was contagious, but they all knew all fun times must come to an end. After Emily had left, Jake sighed heavily and held out his hand to Mar, indicating to her that he wanted her to come with him. He looked tired, and Mar guessed he wanted to go to sleep.

“So… what are we doing tomorrow?” She asked him while crawling onto his palm. “Am I coming with you or staying home?”

“I’ll… let you chose this time. I know I wasn’t the nicest towards you this morning, I wanna make up for that.”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. Umm I guess it’s best if I stay home, since we can risk someone else seeing me and anything bad can happen outside. I can’t move anywhere on my own right now so… I’d feel safest here.”

“Alright. Then Ill make sure to get you everything you need within reach before I leave. I’ll do my best to come back as soon as possible, but I do have work after class so I’ll still be back late.” Jake placed her on his nightstand carefully with a soft smile. Mar tucked herself in the sock he gave her as he went over to the bathroom to get ready. She had a bad feeling for some reason, but she couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from or why. She drifted into sleep before she could hear the bathroom door open back up and Jake return to his room.

“You’re here again at last.” That familiar voice… it struck fear in Mar’s heart as it did before. She was dreaming again.

“What do you want now?” Mar asked the deity, already impatient.

“We have infinity to spend together now, must you be so hostile?” They replied mockingly. Mar scoffed. She had no intention of spending her lifetime connected to this condescending “god”. When she finds a “cure” for all of this, she’ll finally come back to her normal life. “Anyway, how have you been faring the past few days? Have your powers come to you?”

“No.”

“I see.”

Silence befell them in the void. The fire knew Mar wasn’t interested in a conversation, and any attempt at one would be shot down immediately. Mar herself didn’t know what the deity was capable of, but there wasn’t much they could do in the dreamscape. Her physical body wasn’t here so nothing bad could happen to her. So she turned away from the deity and sat on the ground, staring at the void until her eyes began creating shapes in her vision.

“Turn around.” Mar heard a voice from behind her, so cold it made her shiver. But she didn’t reply. Suddenly she felt heat coming from behind her and turning around she saw the fire being grow, bigger and bigger, until they were Jake’s size- hundreds of times her own. Mar was looking up at them, open mouthed, beginning to shake in fear. She felt as if she was first shrunk all over again- the size difference terrified her, especially when it was someone made entirely of flames. Regardless of whether she wasn’t going to be physically harmed, this was a petrifying sight.

Then, her worst fear happened. The deity reached down towards her with their hand, yet Mar was frozen in place. She couldn’t run, or hide, or do anything but stare in disbelief as the fiery palm got closer and bigger. She cowered, looking away, when she felt heat surround her and the giant hand close around her, so tight she felt her breath be taken away.

“No please”, she cried out, as she felt herself be raised from the ground so high up if she fell she could easily die.

“So you humans are just as easily scared as you were back when I last returned, I see.” Mar looked up to see the indifference in the deity’s voice also appear on their huge face. They looked disappointed, too. “I find that extremely pathetic. How did my host come to be this way..? You all have lived far too comfortably in the last millennia. Must I remind you of what I’m capable of? Your life is, quite literally, in my hands. So remember that when ever you plan on disrespecting me, young one.” Mar gulped. This was truly a nightmare. She felt her chest be crushed in the titan’s grip before being completely let go, and, as she fell screaming, she was woken up to Jake’s gigantic face peer upon her and his hand shaking her awake.

“Thank god, Mar, you scared the hell out of me.” He said, wiping away sweat from his brow. “You were screaming, did you know that?” yes, she could feel her throat was sore. “I-I’m sorry” she was breathing heavily, cold sweat pearls on her forehead.

“Look at me,” he pleaded with her, and when she did what he asked, his heart sank. Her eyes were in total shock, darting to everywhere on his face, wide and with tiny pupils. What could she have dreamt about that was so petrifying? “Are you okay? Breathe.”

She took a deep breath and let it all out, looking away from him. “Y-yeah… I’m not… dead so... I guess.”

“Now… please tell me, how the hell are you doing that?” he gestured to her body, and it took her a while to realize there was nothing underneath her. She let out a yelp thinking she was still falling, but she was actually hovering in place, the sock she was sleeping in already slipped off.

“What…?” she stood up in the air and looked around her. Nope, there was nothing underneath her that was holding her in place.

“Of course you wouldn’t know.” Jake sighed. “there’s something new about you every day, huh?”

“Why didn’t this happen like two days ago?!” Mar exclaimed in frustration. “I wouldn’t have broken my freaking leg!” She cried out, her emotions overwhelming her- first, the fire deity scaring her to oblivion, now this.

“Wow, wow, Mar, calm down, it’s okay, these things… happen.” Jake tried to calm her down, unsuccessfully. He resorted to his secret technique. He grabbed her as softly as he could and pressed her against his chest. Her heart was beating so fast he could even feel it. It was faint, but it was there. Slowly but surely, it began to deescalate and she took a deep breath and tapped the inside of the ball he created around her and he let her go. He uncapped his hands but she stayed laying there on one of them, looking up at her giant friend. She wiped away her tears and looked away. Jake took his other finger and used it to position her head so she would look at him, and he raised her to eye level. His eyes looked very concerned and not convinced that she was alright. The way he was looking at her made her eyes water again, so she sat up and looked down at the ground- well, Jake’s palm. He felt her tears falling down on it and his heart dropped some more.

“What… was the dream about this time?” He asked as softly as he could.

“T-they’re back…” Mar replied, still looking away from him. “I tried to ignore them so… they got mad-“ she wiped away the tears- “and became giant, like you, and held me tight. They threatened me and dropped me and then I woke up.”

“My god…” Jake gasped, “No wonder you were panicking.”

“Yeah…”

“W-well, you’re okay now, and I’m here for you- u-unless you need me to leave.” He added, scared he was contributing to her panic, since he was also a giant compared to her.

“No, no, please stay…” She grabbed his thumb and hugged it, finally looking up at him. Jake sighed in relief and his heart skipped a beat- he could not help how cute she looked to him as she hugged his thumb with her entire body. Her size could never stop looking so adorable to him, but he pushed those thoughts away- he didn’t want to dehumanize her like he did the day before.

“Okay.” He pressed her against his heart in an attempt at a hug and she reciprocated and spread her arms and hugged him back as much as she could.

“Thank you.” She whispered

[randoimago]

Day. 4 Enemies to Lovers, but Roomates with Kristoph Gavin

Note(s): I'm surprised by how easily I wrote this. Kristoph is pretty difficult for me. There's not really anything related to the plot of Ace Attorney in this; it is a college setting, though. Still upset Tumblr took away the ability to just insert a dash.

Requested by anon

"I didn't become roommates with you to be greeted with a mess daily." It's yet another day of Kristoph finding reasons to criticize you. You roll your eyes at his words and shake your head. There's a single, unwashed plate in the kitchen sink. But being as sophisticated and refined of a man as he (heavy on the sarcasm), it's the biggest mess he's probably seen.

"I was going to wash it in a moment," you reply. You weren't sure when you were going to actually clean, but if it would keep him from griping and moaning, then you'd just get it done.

"Good. I'll be out for the day. I do hope that there's not more of a mess when I get back." His tone makes it clear that he's warning you. You shake your head and wave him off, already tired of dealing with him.

You breathe a sigh of relief when he finally does leave. When you moved into the dorm, you had hoped you would have a more chill and relaxed roommate. Not a stuck-up, egotistical asshole like Kristoph. Maybe that's rude, but you've tried to be nice to him. Your patience has a limit, and he's able to hit it when he breathes.

It's just one dirty dish, it's easy to clean so you do so and put it away, washing the sink too since you know he'd comment on that if you didn't. You don't know how the man can see every single particle of dust and dirt, but he does and it drives you insane.

You decide to just walk around the place to make sure there isn't anything else that'd cause your annoying roommate to talk. There's a pause in your step when you see his jacket just laying draped over a chair.

"And the bastard says I leave behind a mess," you mutter, knowing that if it was you leaving clothes around, you'd get comments about it.

You pick up his jacket, intending on just throwing it in his room, but you pause at how soft it is. You weren't expecting your prim and proper roommate to wear soft clothes. You expected the jacket to be as stiff as he is. You glance at the tag and frown as you see it's insulated. Did he leave the jacket out to rub it in your face? To show you that he has such soft, warm clothes that cost way more than you can dream of?

There's a thought that enters your mind, one that should have made you scoff and continue on your day. But instead, you gave in to it, slipping his jacket on. If he didn't want you wearing his things then he should be less of a jerk and actually put his things away.

You're almost mad at how soft and warm it feels when you put it on. Not to mention it smells good too. Although, you cringe at that thought, because if the jacket smells like anything then it'd be of him. And yeah, he takes care of himself, of course he'd smell good. It's not that you enjoy the smell because it's his.

But you continue cleaning, wearing his jacket, and not thinking twice about it.

---

Kristoph felt off, and it took him a little bit to realize why. He left his jacket in the dorm. He didn't want to be late with his classes, so he didn't return it, but when he finally had a break, he immediately headed for the dorm.

Entering it, he glances around to see if he'd run into you, but he doesn't see you. He hums to himself as he walks to where he left his jacket, annoyed when it's not there. He stops by the kitchen and is pleased that you cleaned up like he told you to. He's glad you're obedient, at least.

Kristoph knocks on your door, having the manners to do that. He waits patiently for you to answer, but you don't. He knows you don't have classes today and don't have plans either because he had asked you the prior night if you did. So he knocks louder.

There's the sound of movement in your room, and he hears you mumbling something. Perhaps he woke you from a nap? He would feel bad, but he's helping your sleep schedule by waking you, so you should thank him if anything.

Kristoph patiently waits for you to open the door, ready to ask you about his jacket and if you've done anything besides sleep today. His words die on his tongue when the door does open, and he takes in your appearance.

You obviously just woke up, so you're a bit of a mess, but he's more drawn to the fact that you're wearing his jacket. He can see it's wrinkled, letting him know you wore it while sleeping. For once, he doesn't have a snide remark. At least, not at first.

"Did you sleep well?" He asks and you raise an eyebrow, groggy and annoyed that he woke you up. That causes him to be amused. "Considering you stole my clothes, I assume you were comfortable?"

A mix of emotions crosses your face as you realize you are still wearing his jacket. You feel your face heat up and roll your eyes at him.

"You shouldn't leave your things lying around. I didn't take you for someone to be so messy," you remark, making him chuckle.

"I left it lying out so I wouldn't forget it so easily. But it looks like it's a good thing I did."

"And why's that?" You ask, not liking the smugness in his eyes as you cross your arms over your chest, trying not to focus on the fact that you're still wearing his jacket.

"Because you look a lot more appealing in my clothes." You're more flustered at his backhanded compliment and you don't think as you shut the door on his face, staying in your room. You hear the bastard laugh on the other side of the door, and you hate how it makes your heart speed up a bit.

"I would like my jacket back tomorrow," you hear, and you would throw his jacket in his face if it weren't so comfy. "And thank you for cleaning."

That was… surprising. You didn't think he knew how to say "thank you". You're tempted to ignore him, but if he was being nice…

"You're welcome," you mutter, not knowing if he heard you. But you hear his footsteps move away from your door, and a sigh of relief escapes you. Now if only your damn heart would calm down.

[ovaruling]

Hey! Sorry if you get this a lot, but you mentioned in your one really long post that you'd maybe talk about the "non-invasive" procedures one day. I have a friend considering a few (notably that ice fat removal one, cryo something) and I was hoping you could tell a bit more about your experiences with them. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

hi! i’m happy to discuss, definitely. i hope you don't mind my publishing this, because i haven't yet had a chance to publicly talk about CoolSculpt (similar if not identical in fashion to cryo- methods of "fat removal") or other med spa procedures, and i'd like to add this to my anti-cosmetic surgery tag. if you're not comfortable with this ask being published, please let me know asap and i will remove it without issue!

if your friend is indeed interested in CoolSculpt, my caution there is firstly going to revolve around Linda Evangelista, the 90s supermodel.  

her story about PAH (paradoxical adipose hyperplasia) that she experienced because of CoolSculpt is harrowing. here’s an article about it.

this happens a lot more with CoolSculpt than most people realize. i didn't experience PAH necessarily, but i will say that when i got CoolSculpt on my inner thighs, it left them extremely, extremely lumpy, and hardened. i already had one spot--about the size of a prune--on one of my inner thighs from when i got actual liposuction. i figured it wasn't the end of the world, and ignored it as best i could.

but when i went in and got CoolSculpt, i noticed in the weeks afterward that my thighs looked... bumpy. lumpy. like there were small, hard avocado pits underneath my skin. of course, i freaked out. i didn't know why it looked like that--the technician and the ads had all said it would be left smooth, fat-free, no trace of a procedure left behind.

before my last session (CoolSculpt takes multiple sessions), i asked the technician to take a look. she said, "oh, that'll go away in a few weeks. your body just has to detox it."

i was skeptical, but i wanted so much to believe she was right.

i waited, and i waited. i waited some more. weeks and weeks and weeks passed. not a single change.

i still don't rightly know what happened. i haven't quite had the time to get it checked out, because, depressingly, this disfigurement is very low on my list compared to my more pressing issues atm.

i also want to mention that i got CoolSculpt on my arms (they offered me a free "area" with my purchase of the inner thighs) and so i figured i'd try to get rid of some of my the fat under my biceps and triceps. all that happened was that the skin began to droop and sag. CoolSculpt did not transform my arms into firm, smooth limbs, not by any stretch. (there was no muscle there, so obv this was gonna happen!)

so, the inner thighs remain a mystery to me. the hardened lumps are still there, and seem benign, but they are extremely annoying. and i no longer care what they look like, but back when i did, the extremely firm lumpiness really, really bothered me. it was like huge ocean waves, frozen. Linda described her aftermath as "protrusions," and i kind of relate, honestly. i don't have it nearly as intensely as she does, but protrusions is a perfect way to describe the behavior of the flesh post-CoolSculpt.

as i've built more muscle in my legs over time, the lumps are less visible, but i still feel them there. it's really unsettling. makes me think of having parasites under my skin, which then makes me really queasy and panicked. but i can't do anything about them.

i got one suggestion to try to massage them, because they may just be gnarled tissue of some kind that could be broken up and metabolized if given proper stimulation and circulation. but no such luck--they're still there.

so, again, not totally sure what happened to me--not quite what happened to Linda Evangelista, but. i still had an adverse affect, which is frightening.

the people at the med spa i went to, btw, refused to acknowledge this as an issue. they told me i must just "metabolize fat poorly." not their fault, evidently. and i was powerless to challenge them, because i had signed a lot of waivers.

so, here i am. CoolSculpt just gave me another in a long line of apparently permanent side effects, even though it was noninvasive.

i wish so much i had just... fucking stopped, honestly. i should've begun my fitness journey then, if i wanted "toned thighs" so much, instead of spending a ridiculous amount of money (that i didn't have, btw) on this completely unregulated procedure that remains wildly popular. it is 100% a scam.

at least with working out, i gained confidence and strength and stopped caring so much about how i look once i realized that how i feel is so much more important. having done both, i can firmly say that i would choose my strong, big, muscular thighs over the trim, slim CoolSculpted ones any day.

and to drive the point home, i do still have the lumps in my thighs.

CoolSculpt is a waste of time, money, and health.

please do encourage your friend to look up the side effects reported from CoolSculpt, and keep in mind that most women who get CoolSculpt do NOT follow back up with the med spas they received treatment at. so when you see "over 95% of patients reported satisfaction with their treatment," know that they are NOT returning the calls of those who received adverse effects.

as i do with all cosmetic procedures, both invasive and noninvasive, i believe the percentage of those who have been "botched" is way, way, way, WAY under-reported, underrepresented, and vastly, vastly underestimated.

technically, because my surgeons never returned my communication, and because i never participated in an official survey (usually provided by the place that gives you the surgery, lmfao), i would not be included in the data collected for "botched procedures."

so please, please keep that in mind. most of us who have received life-altering results from any manner of cosmetic procedures either A) are not being communicated with by the providers of the procedure afterward, or B) are not even thinking about communicating with the provider of the procedure because they are now at their doctor or a hospital, trying to find answers to what went wrong.

or simply C) are too embarrassed to come forward and admit that we were “botched.”

or even D) have accepted it in numb silence or deeply flat denial because it would be too painful or too much effort to acknowledge that we most certainly didn’t get the results we were promised.

like, trust me, no one is calling me or knocking at me door asking me if i’m happy with my surgeries or my noninvasive procedures. not a single one. as far as the world was concerned, until i spoke up this year, i was a happy customer. so idk WHERE the fuck they get all these surveyed patients from. but sure as hell, no one ever asked me.

my point is, i don't believe the data collected on procedure satisfaction is AT ALL trustworthy, let alone accurate.

if there's another procedure you have a question about, i'd be happy to answer it to the best of my ability.

[djfatchip]

DJFatChip Was Tagged!

I was tagged by my lovely friend @ratchsellsfornax to answer 5 questions that she posted from this OC Questions post and asked this for Cassidy Rose Ryder, MEA OC.

👕Appearance: 3. Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible? ->Answer: No. Cassidy loves how she looks. She used to dye her hair different colors for fun in her youth. But that's it really. She doesn't, or rather hasn't, dyed her hair in a long time.

📦Objects: 4. Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back? ->Answer: Hm, this one will need sometime to think since she left the Sol System for Andromeda, i'm sure there is something she left that she can't ever get back again. But not sure at the moment.

🍽️Food and Drink: 1. What flavor would your character say their personality is? ->Answer: Hm, I would have to say a black plum. Very sweet when it's not completely soft. When the fruit is soft, I don't eat it. It taste gross to me. She is similar in personality, I think, hahaha! xD

🌤️Weather and Nature: 4. Is there a natural phenomenon that scares your character? ->Answer: I would say a tsunami would scare her. The thought of the great sea just coming at you. Can be a scary thing.

🤝Community and Relationships 13. Would your character be good at providing medical assistance? ->Answer: No. You're on your own to live LMAO I'm kidding. She does have some medical training to make sure you get out of the place alive enough to get proper medical care. Or at least, she hopes she can get you out alive to get proper medical care.

💓Mind, Body and Soul 21. If your character had to act in a play what role would they think they’d best perform? ->Answer: You can give her any role and she will shine in it, but being the protagonist is where she excels at. She enjoys being in the spotlight and taking charge.

🎲 Hobbies and Activities 18. What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about? ->Answer: There isn't really a topic she wouldn't want to talk about, she is more about *who* she would talk about these topics with.

Thank you so much for the tag, Risi! :D This is a cool way to ask so I might join you and make a new post and tag people to answer questions! :D Whenever i'm around, that is. ^_^

[notthatsamkim]

𝕯𝖎𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝕴𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

heeseung x fem!reader

genre : strangers to lovers? - the forbidden "i warned you" type of story

warnings : fem!reader, reader skips class, abandonment of friends.. lmk if i missed something

a/n : this is just a snippet of a possible longer fic i am planning. just trying to see where i'm at with my writing skills after my year-long hiatus from writing — i suck at editing so let's see past that

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"y/n y/l/n??!" 

heeseung had watched you linger around one of the benches as your other classmates had made their way to their respective classes, phone against your ear several times to no luck. he watched you get up, playfully swinging your bag left and right behind your back as if you’d given up trying to reach whoever it was on the other end of your call.

"why, what's wrong?" heeseung chuckled nervously.

all coherent thoughts were thrown out the window when his legs took him in your direction. the few classes on his schedule he was due to be present at, were put on hold. all he cared about was the adventure you ought to set yourself on. he wanted to know why his friends warned him about you even though things like that can end up badly, but he also remembered being told to not pull judgement about anyone or anything if he hadn’t tried anything - for the sake of witnessing himself - yet.

"i know you're entitled to be attracted to whoever your heart desires but,.. i just don't get good vibes from her."

"you know her?"

you’d made it to the gate when you finally noticed someone following you. you’d turned around. at first, you wanted to make sure it was not you he was interested in, so you continued walking until he too turned the corner to walk through the park towards the bus stop.

“oh.. hey there?” heeseung waved shyly, suddenly losing every ability to say something. you’d rummaged through your brain where you remembered seeing him as you allowed your eyes to trail away from him. he was seen hanging out with the people who had not so nice things to say about you and you never understood why, because you thought they were grown enough to form an opinion of their own. clearly not.

not until heeseung.

"i talked to her now and then, but i definitely don't want to be her friend."

“a-are you here to report me?” 

heeseung was taken aback when your first question wasn’t why he would be following you, “why would i do that?”

you wanted to open your mouth, but didn’t find it appropriate to fill him in on how his friends had watched your every move on your way out of the school grounds, when you hadn’t had proper conversations with him yet. and it was as if heeseung got a sense of what you were trying to say.

"how do you know what she is like?" heeseung challenged. 

“i don’t know where to go yet, i guess i’ll find out when i get on the bus.”

“why don’t you ask your friends?”

you waved your phone in the air and chuckled, "tried that.”

there weren’t many times he’d ever crossed paths with you so he thought that time could be the first of many. bold coming from him, but he would have to start somewhere if he wanted to prove himself.

“would you… mind hanging out with me then?”

a quizzical expression took over your face, “sure you aren’t here gathering intel for your friends?” there, you said it.

heeseung sighed, “i’m not. but i am curious to know what is so bad about you.”

you nodded. “i hope i don’t disappoint then.”

you already regretted showing the very side of you that people are apparently warned about - being vulnerable, translated into clinginess.

"i can smell it from miles away.”

“likewise,” heeseung smiled.

"well.. i don't know her so maybe she's not like that at all and people just read her wrong?"

"i don't know hee, just be careful. or stay away to be safe."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── tagging : @kurosism @seungkwan-s @alohajun @kpophubb @doehee for testing

[jurijurijurious]

Tagged by @period-dramallama - thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?:

Seven. Not enough.

(Guys there's no number 2 in this thing, where did it go??)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At present, ReBoot and sometimes I drop back into Elizabeth (1998). I was much more of a fanfic slut in my youth, multiple fandoms on the go. (I've done Power Rangers, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Disney's Hercules...)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dodge and Burn (ReBoot)

Road to Ruin (ReBoot)

Mea Culpa (Elizabeth 1998)

Inconcessus fructus (Elizabeth 1998)

Dodge and Burn: Chapter 11.5 - Optional Add-on (ReBoot)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. It's something I've always done. I think it stems from the early days of Fanfic.net and Live Journal where many people were more generous with their time and left lots of comments and engaged in discourse, whereas now I get very little feedback. I enjoy thanking people or answering questions, it makes the work put into a fic feel worthwhile that it's created some kind of engagement. I think society now is more geared to comsuming but not reflecting which is a shame.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm hoping "Dodge and Burn" will fill that gap. I'm not sure Mea Culpa or Incon' were angsty? They had angst but I think the ending tied up ok.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What's a happy ending? I don't think I've written a happy ending for years. Maybe back in my Doctor Who days.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not any more. I wrote a Star Wars fic a good 20 years ago which to be fair was terrible and featured lots of unnecessarily cruel tropes but it got a lot of love at the time, until quite some years after, someone randomly began reviewing every chapter and bombing it. I don't know why they kept wasting their time on something they really didn't like, I guess people enjoy dumping on others. I just turned off the notifications, it was wirtten too long ago for me to care. I've grown since then. I don't get hate any more really, my fics are super niche rarepairs in minority fandoms, I don't get many readers. You're either into it or you've never heard of it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. It's pretty tame overall, I try to focus on emotion rather than action. I seem to enjoy writing some sub/dom elements - not proper BDSM but there's certainly power play in my smut. It's a battlefield more than a bedroom.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've touched on crossovers but they're such hard work and really only appeal to me rather than a wider audience as I fix on really weird-ass combinations. I've never finished a crossover fic. I started a Lion King/Discworld one many years ago. Recently I had fun with Elizabeth (1998)/Attack on Titan. I wrote some snippets and am determined it could work if I put my mind to it but yeah, way too niche.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I doubt it. I have this low key - not fear, perhaps curiosity - that things I wrote years ago might have been repackaged and recirculated and I'd have no idea because I've lost touch with so any fandoms.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No. I'm too much of a control freak to want to share a fic.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I can't choose one. I love, love, love Elizabeth/Walsingham (Walsibeth) from the Elizabeth movie as it just means so much to me, and it's been with me a long time. And I feel like it's almost exclusively mine, I've read very few other fics of that pairing before I started writing it in the mid 2000s.

Megabyte and Dot from ReBoot are my current obsession and again that pairing is something I've liked for a long time. They're so much fun to write, at constant battle with each other. I think I'm better at writing them now that I'm older as I can tap into life experience and not just ride on my youthful hormones.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I rarely finish anything tbh. I will say Dodge and Burn, i desperately want to finish it but my legacy does not bode well for it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Sexual tension I think? Maybe.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have been overly descriptive in the past and spoon fed the reader with the character's thoughts and motivations. I'm trying to peel back from that and show rather than tell. There will definitely be other weaknesses. I feel like I focus too much on dialogue but I love writing dialogue. I hate writing battles or heavy action scenes, I need to focus on building my skills in that area.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm not a linguist so I wouldn't dare.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

If we're talking pre-internet childhood, maybe Power Rangers?

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I do love Dodge and Burn which I'm currently working on, it's a lot of fun, but I remain proud of Inconcessus fructus that I wrote in the mid-2000s, I actually think it's one of my best pieces of writing and I fear I peaked back then.

Tagging @buginateacup @thisbluespirit @thatfilthyanimal if you fancy.

[hextechmaturgy]

Do you have any headcanons for how Grief and Andrey's relationship is like? What do you think Andrey has done for the town's criminals? (i saw your tags on the voice lines reblog)

OH FRIEND...... YOU HONOR ME WITH THIS ASK YOU DO..... i got so excited to answer. i'm actually writing an angrief fic atm spanning from when they meet to when the game ends, but because i'm a very very very slow writer it's not coming out anytime soon. if you're interested tho wink i'd be happy to send u a very short sneak peak in dms wink

regarding headcanons tho, i'll try to be concise but honestly i have many unorganized thoughts and feelings about those two. should also be said that i have a timeline in my head for pre-game events that probably doesn't match canon at all, but it makes sense TO ME and time in pathologic is more of a suggestion anyway sooo hihi let's go

andrey is a bit older than grief; they meet at age 19/20. artemy is leaving and grief's losing his friends, his family. he's turning to gangs for company, which only further alienates him from lara and stakh. andrey is making friends for once, a rare thing after years on the run. his head's full of ideas, ideas that someone actually wants to hear, it's exhilarating. they meet at a plot of land where a staircase will stand one day, both immediately clocking Each Other™️, but the knowing looks go beyond a tick in their gaydar. andrey is a free man and grief wants to be free, desperately so, but he's also afraid. what will it cost him? grief fears the unknown, the steppe curses that keep him up at night, the scorn of his friends and the abandonment, the unknown. it's hard to be authentic, isn't it? andrey sees this struggle, understands the want to fight, the want for freedom. andrey tells him it's okay to want

that first meeting emboldens grief, sustains him when his family breaks for good. they don't see each other for months, and a lot changes for the two of them, but they still remember and all too well. andrey asked to see him again, grief is reluctant. just meeting the man was already impactful enough, he's relived it so often, lost in dreams. but he feels bold, andrey makes him bold. he finds andrey bleeding at his own bar. he needs stitches somewhere he can't reach, won't you help me out, sweet filin? he does. his hand trembles, his stitches are terrible. odd thing, piercing skin, sinking into another man's flesh. hope this doesn't awake anything in him!!!

(spoiler: it absolutely does)

it's probably not a huge surprise at this point if i state i write grief with internalized homophobia in mind, and a considerable amount of religious trauma too. the man he wants to be brings him to shame, and that reflex goes beyond sexuality yes but it's also about that. andrey is uncharacteristically patient. he'll push and prod, poke at the hidden layers behind those freckles he's memorized for some reason, but never goes beyond grief's limits. freedom shouldn't be scary. grief will evolve, he will grow, and andrey will look at him with pride in his eyes and something that is definitely not love (andrey only knows violence. what does he do with love?)

grief is becoming a proper criminal now, respected even if he won't cut, perhaps respected because he gets the job done without cutting. he becomes a seller of all things illegal, and andrey is always in the market for something dangerous. he wants a weapon that will allow him to get up close and personal, and he gets something personal alright. grief gives him a knuckle-duster, a gift. places it around his fingers to see how it fits, awfully gentle. it's not a ring, it's not a promise, they're not that ridiculous

(spoiler: they absolutely are)

the first outbreak is scary. peter suffers immensely from it and when peter suffers, andrey agonizes, but peter is fine...... grief wonders if the pest is divine punishment, if he's to blame for it somehow, but surely not....... they're both restless and healthy, alive, and they're sort of neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors). it's easier to call their INVOLVEMENT stress relief. neither is prepared for the truth really

friends who bang! andrey's got plenty of those and this one isn't any different, okay? barkeeps hear all sorts of juicy gossip, and if he happens to perk up at news on grief and his gang, it's only because andrey is a dangerous man too, and he's wise to look out for the goings on of the underworld. i'm actually still unsure what the line 'wasn't long ago he was on his knees, begging before me' is all about, but i'm convinced it's not horny, at least not 100%. they spend a lot of time on their knees before one another, almost anything andrey says sounds like a threat or a preposition. andrey is held responsible for the death of at least one man (rip farkhad) so he's probably feared in the town. his lifestyle alone shocks plenty of people. grief holds his men back with a "no stabbing, no shooting, no killing" leash, but we know they're able, we know some are willing. perhaps grief needed andrey to intimidate a gang member he was having trouble with, truly desperate, out of other solutions. i'm begging you for help, on my knees if i have to. those men are terrified of you, and frankly so am i (but not in the same way, oh never, somehow i know you would never kill me). it would explain why andrey brings it up to artemy during the second outbreak. grief's men will start misbehaving soon - i wonder if he will come crawling to beg again

i think they're amicable for the most part, their personalities bounce of one another. they're insistent on the just friends thing mostly out of habit. i know you will come if i need you, and we have plenty of fun together already. that's enough, no? what else could a bastard need

second outbreak is a mess and we all know just how much. apple basket reunion is awkward because hey grief why did the guy at the bar tell me about you being on your- how about we don't talk for a while? oh also, this is a small thing, but shout out to the day you find grief and peter at aspity's house. i laughed so much imagining that conversation, or the very OBVIOUS lack of one. peter isn't even really there, dozing off lost in his thoughts, and grief is nearby sweating bullets. be cool grief, be cool - wait why are you even trying to impress peter?

when the polyhedron dies - because she is alive, and she is dying - andrey is lost to senseless violence. he doesn't believe artemy's confession because that would mean killing grief's childhood friend. it's easier to be angry at thirty faceless men. we also know that grief is... NOT WELL, after the whole thing with aglaya. grief is sitting at a staircase (THE staircase that once wasn't here) and he stays there until it's dark, until it's light again. andrey finds him, drunk out of his goddamn mind, probably guided there by all the twyrine in his system. it's unsettling to not see her when he reaches the top, it's unsettling to not see grief as well. what can two broken men do but weep? they whisper to each other. come with me, let's kill them all. it's not worth it, nothing is anymore. i'll go without you. you'll die. do you care?

there's stuff i missed, stuff that probably doesn't make sense, i'm writing this at 6 am in a frenzy of angrief feelings because i love them. i love this ask, i had to reply or i wouldn't sleep. what happens after the game is a wonder to me as well. i've said before somewhere that p1 grief is who p2 grief could become after the diurnal ending. andrey is also going to struggle with his place in the world, mourning the loss of a perfect tower that can never be reproduced, of brilliance and hard work, probably mourning the loss of his brother too, not to the pest but to love. peter has grace now and i think that will be jarring, not being the only family peter has. the twins have only ever had each other, is andrey falling behind? how will he catch up? can he? twins are perfect opposites, he says: it's only natural that when peter starts to improve, andrey begins to degenerate

but i like to be hopeful, because i like these characters a lot (i know u would never be able to tell xoxo). two negatives make a positive, so maybe andrey and grief can be miserable together, and maybe then they'll realize that love is fit for bastards too

[violetsareblue-selfships]

Promise

Ship: Scaramouche x April | Word Count 1042 | Warnings/Tags: Death mention (like the concept - related to her being mortal).

A/N: Haha, get used to Scara being the main star of the fics I post for a bit since I've written a lot of him in the last month. I'll try to space it out some but he's all I've been writing *shrugs*. Hope you all enjoy! This is the fic that explains just why he's so sure she'll never betray him <3

A choked whimper splits the silence as Scaramouche shoots up in bed. The air feels suffocating, thick and hard to drag in a proper breath. The only small mercy is that he doesn't exactly need to breathe, but he's grown so used to it for appearance's sake that it feels bizarre to not be able to breathe properly.

His body feels shaky and he realizes with disgust that tears are streaming down his face. He swipes at his eyes angrily but the tears keep coming. His mind won't clear of the past memories his nightmare brought to the surface.

How weak is he to be brought to tears by things so long in the past. He thought he'd buried these feelings so deep within his mind that they'd have no hope of ever surfacing again. But even he is powerless against his subconscious.

A soft sob escapes him and he presses his hands over his mouth, silently cursing the way his body his reacting. He's so lost in his own thoughts, in past memories, that he doesn't realize that he's woken the other in the bed.

Arms wrap around his middle, the warmth of her body chasing away some of the shadows from his mind. Not enough to make him stop crying, but enough to make him realize where he is, or better yet, who he is with.

"Go back to sleep." His voice cracks with the order and April hums softly, pulling him gently up against her.

"I don't think I will." She murmurs. "I think you need me to stay awake."

Scaramouche grumbles softly in response, but he lets her move him until his face is buried in her neck, his body flush up against her. The tears fall faster at the way she sinks a hand into his hair and scratches gently over his scalp, her other hand rubbing soothing circles over his back.

"Now… I probably don't have to guess what that nightmare was about." She muses softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "But am I right in thinking it was about your past?"

Scaramouche sobs again, clutching her tighter. "And that's a yes…" April says, her heart breaking for him. She's never seen him this upset before. Even when he was telling her his past, he did it in a detached way.

"You're alright." She says, placing a few kisses to the top of his head. "You can cry it out. It's alright. You're safe here."

Scaramouche wants to scoff. Like he needs her permission to cry. He's the Balladeer, he never cries.

Yet, the permission feels soothing like a warm blanket has just been placed over him. Maybe it's this sense of safety he feels that has him uttering words he'd never say otherwise. How could a normal mortal reduce him to begging?

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. I'm right here." She says, misunderstanding what he truly means.

"Promise you'll never betray me… Like the others." The words are muffled, spoken into her neck as they are, but April hums as she realizes what he means.

"I promise." April says, continuing to stroke over his back softly. "You will never face a betrayal at my hand. I'll always be by your side."

This time, Scaramouche does scoff. "How can you promise that?" He asks. She's mortal. All mortals have to die someday. Sure, she can keep her promise in the time up until that inevitable end, but even she can't guarantee something like this.

"Because, my heart, I found a way around that pesky little detail." She says, laughing softly at how quickly he pulls his head up to look at her. He looks shocked, primarily, but there's a slight hint of hope that he clearly doesn't want to let himself feel. It's that hope that has her expression softening.

"Yes… I'll show you the source material on it later, so you may see for yourself that I'm not lying to you, but I found a bonding ritual. One that if done between an immortal and a mortal being will share that immortality with the mortal so long as the immortal is alive. There's a few other details to it, but that's the primary function of it."

Scaramouche feels at a loss for words. He'd had no idea such a thing could possibly exist. How did she manage to find it?

It doesn't matter. What matters is that if they did this, she'd be with him forever. Even time couldn't take her away from him.

April smiles softly at the stunned look to his eyes and she shifts one of her hands to cup his face. Her thumb brushes under his eye, brushing away the last remaining tears. "I'd be yours forever, Kuni. I told you, I'm never going to betray you."

"I think I'm starting to believe that." Scaramouche says softly. If she went through the trouble of researching and finding such a ritual, then she clearly wants to be with him. For hundreds or maybe even thousands of years.

"Now… why don't you snuggle close and go back to sleep?" She asks softly. "We'll talk details of when we do that ritual later. But you deserve some peaceful rest, my darling. I hope that being in my arms like this will chase away the rest of your nightmares."

Scaramouche nods slowly and sinks back down to bury his face in the crook of her neck. He almost doesn't think he'll be able to fall asleep with this new revelation, but as he lays there, listening to her heartbeat and the steady inhale and exhale of her breathing, he grows sleepy.

April begins to hum softly, some kind of lullaby that has him drifting closer and closer to dreamland. "I love you, Kuni…" She murmurs in between verses and he is barely awake enough to kiss her neck softly before he falls asleep in her arms.

She continues to hold him for a little while longer until she's certain that he's asleep before shutting her own eyes to do the same. They've still got work to do tomorrow, after all, so she needs to rest as well.

Neither of them has any more nightmares that night, only the sweetest of dreams.

[askinkiskarma]

Hello!! Just want to stop by and say, you're one of my favorite writers here and I really adore your stories ⁀ᗢ⁀ I've interacted with you before and you're one of the kindest person around (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Do you mind if I ask something? I'm planning to start writing for the fandom, do you have any tips for starting a blog? Thank you! Hope you have a nice day/night ^^

You would be one of the first writer I would like to follow once I started ٩(＾◡＾)۶

hi bb xx that is so so sweet, omg i'm gonna cry :(( i'm so excited that you want to start writing, i love having new mooties and reading new stories for the fandom. i have been asked this before, and as far as advice goes, i will just probably reiterate the same points x

first off, i think the best piece of advice i can give you to start is to just do it. it took me a long time of thinking and debating whether i should do it, and i regret waiting as long as i did, considering i could have gotten a lot more engagement and built my amazing little community faster if i just faced my fears and posted my first piece sooner. so whatever you have written, or you're inspired to write, just go for it!! i'd love to read it and i'm sure a lot of other people would, and pls do tag me in anything you write xx

try to look at blogs you like and how they format their fics, a lot of the times the formatting/header/title can make or break a fic bc it's the first thing people see and if it doesn't catch their eye, or it's too confusing/complicated, people might not even give it a chance

put the proper warnings, it's better to be generous with the warnings than not put enough (trust me i've learnt the hard way), use the read more so the fic doesn't take too much space on the dash and it also makes people more intrigued to read it imo

tag things properly (only with the main character, if you have oc don't tag it with x reader, if it's a neteyam story, don't tag lo'ak, stuff lke that), which also makes your story appear in the tag and get more interaction

finally, interact with people, send them asks, leave them nice comments, reblog their stuff, which helps you get out there and reach more people as well and also make friends xx

hope this helped, and pls know my inbox is always open xx smooches and good luck!!