#hope to continue talking to you more this year đ„ș
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Belonging with them
Day 3: Belonging.
Summary: He knew where he belonged now.
âąâââŠâââą
Word Count: 1150
Warnings: azzie continues being jelly of kaden lolll
A/n: i love hazel sm yall dont get it đ„ș this fic is based on a short i saw on yt and the dad is like the biggest hunk and gave such cassian vibes and he genuinely cried đ„ș i was gonna write this fic for cassian but then i decided to give this to azzie cus he deserves to cry hehe
(if you dont know hazel and kaden, theyre from my mini series overprotective bat. it was a 2 part series which can be found on my azriel masterlist. all the fic in this week will be revolving around these two cuties hehe)
@azrielappreciationweek
ANYWAY ENJOYYYY đ„ł
°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąâđââąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°
"I donât really know where I fit in anymore."
"Iâve been alive almost five and a half centuries and Iâm not sure of that, either."
The day he had said those words to Feyre seemed like a lifetime away, as if experienced in a dream centuries ago when he was younger and could not differentiate between reality and what his brain had conjured up. But he knew, it had merely been five years.
The five years he had cherished the most in his life.
He loved his family. He adored the way Rhys and Cassian bickered during their annual snowball fight, the way Amren found a way to slide in a snide remark at every dinner, the way Mor would always be ready to go partying. Above all, he adored how all his family including the Archeron sisters would be ready to help him and be there for him any day. Even in the middle of the night when he did not want to wake up his wife but knew he needed someone to help him with his crying daughter.
But⊠they did not complete him. He loved them to bits and would readily give his life for them⊠before he met his now wife and decided she was the one he would spend his life with, mating bond be damned. He had lost all hopes of finding his mate back then after waiting for five centuries.
Imagine his shock when on their wedding day, he felt another thread of gold tying him to his wife.
Now as he sat watching his daughter pet a purring Nuts lounging on the low table in front of him while explaining to him how tea was made, he smiled.
He had found his place of belonging. And it was with his wife and daughter.
Of course, there had to be that boy trying to take his daughter away from him. What was his name? Kade? Kaden? Azriel thought bitterly.
He knew he was being dramatic. His daughter was barely four years at this point, no four year old was going to steal her away.
Hazel turned to Azriel, making him focus all his attention on her. He offered her a smile when she handed him a small pink cup.
"What is this?" He asked, bringing the empty toy to his lips.
She shot him an incredulous look. "Itâs the tea you ordered daddy."
"Oh, yeah sorry, I was thinking about something."
She shook her head. "Stop thinking and focus, daddy. Kaden always pays attention."
Azriel stilled.
I am being compared to a four year old boy now? What has life come to.
He sighed, mumbling out an apology even though all he wanted to do was tell her to stay away from that boy.
He did not want to be forced to go apologise again.
She began fumbling with the littered toys on the desk once more, completely ignoring Azriel in favour of mumbling instructions to Nuts, as if teaching him how to cook.
As he watched her move over to the huge armchair and place a cup on it, conversing with what Azriel could only hope was not spirits of the deceased, his curiosity peaked.
Maybe it was a bad idea, but he needed to make sure that she was not getting overly friendly with Kaden.
"Hazel, this tea is amazing." He waited till she giggled before continuing. "By the way, howâs school?"
It was daycare to help her get accustomed to going to school next year, but Hazel insisted she was a big girl and attended big girl school.
"Itâs fine. Miss Black gave me a gold star yesterday because I helped her." Hazel was focused on the air she was stirring in her red pot as she talked, lips pursed slightly in concentration.
"Hmm. Whoâs your best friend?"
Please donât say Kaden. Not Kaden. Please.
She turned around to glare at him, and he wondered if by any chance he had said the words aloud. But he knew he hadnât. Azriel wouldnât let himself speak without permission from himself.
Her brows bunched up, lips pouting and eyes narrowed, she looked as offended as an old grandma being told her grandchild was full and did not want more food.
"Daddy, itâs you. Youâre my best friend." She rolled her eyes.
Azriel watched. He simply watched her return back to stirring her pot.
Cassian had been the one to teach her the eye rolling. Azriel had been amused. Seeing a child barely reaching his knees roll her eyes at him like she had lived five lives was nothing short of funny.
But right now, it felt anything but.
Itâs you daddy.
His eyes were prickling, that was his first conscious thought after long moments of silence in his head. His vision was getting blurry, throat clogging. Tell tale signs of a sob session oncoming. But he could not bring himself to care as he stared at this little faeling, who did not even realise what she had done.
Youâre my best friend.
Azriel simply sat back against the couch, the cushions pressing against his bare back, and let the tears have their way on his skin.
Iâm her best friend.
Even despite the emotions Hazel had brought forth, somewhere in the back of his mind Azriel was rejoicing that her best friend was not Kaden.
Guess Iâm never beating the territorial illyrian accusations.
The shadows settled down on his shoulders, swirling softly against his skin as they too watched Hazel play and pet Nuts occasionally. They did not inform him of his wifeâs arrival in the living room. They did not have to. He simply felt when her presence was near. The all consuming feeling of love growing stronger in his chest being another indicator.
"Hazel, itâs bath time baby. Letâs go."
Hazel huffed as if what Y/n had said was the most outrageous thing ever. "Mommy, I canât leave yet. There are customers."
Azriel practically felt his wifeâs eyes narrow. "Daddy can attend to your customers."
Hazel turned to look at Azriel pleadingly, her eyes wide and placating before they filled with shock. "Daddy why are you crying!"
Y/n drew closer. "Azzie?"
Azriel blinked, smiling up at his wife before picking up his daughter. "Itâs nothing. Just some dust."
Hazel turned to scowl at Nuts. "I told you to clean up properly. Now see, because of you my daddy is crying."
Azriel huffed out a laugh, pressing his lips to her round cheek.
"Letâs go shower baby. Iâll even get your toys, yeah?"
Azrielâs gaze swung to Y/n at the end of his sentence. She gave him a knowing smile.
"Can Nuts come too? Please daddy, mommy!"
"Fine, but no splashing." Y/n pointed a finger at the father-daughter duo, eyebrows raised.
Hazel had begun to whine, but even she knew not to argue when mommy was serious.
°âąÂ°âąÂ°âąâđââąÂ°âąÂ°âąÂ°
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you writing is so beautiful. the way that logan tries to stop her - how blunt and earnest he is and the worst person for the job (but also best, in his own way) but he's trying, gosh that got me. love the line about logan's tailights being a lighthouse, guiding her back out in all that dark, and then trying to make her promise she won't go back.
and how they bump into each other again, the way he takes time and listens to her each time had my heart aching. the way you write her grief felt so real (I really appreciate how you wrote this fic - my own mental health over the past few years has been rocky and this felt so - gosh, I don't know, relatable? hopeful? wonderful? to read), and the fact that he understands in a way that no one else she knows does - it such a rough connection but you have me feeling glad for each of their encounters.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
Wheezing omg - perfect Wade introduction. And then that she goes back, and I that she hates but I love that he is getting a handle at how she thinks, how he makes her be honest. And gosh when he opens up in return, that fondness he had for Wade, how he's still hurting from before, I was inhaling this.
Loving 'DVDJ' (and the F9/Wade & Logan references omfg) and I so feel for reader and how hard it is to put yourself out there, but what a great group of people for her to surround herself with. And the whiplash with her finding him like that, how it still comes back to him after all the healing he's been trying to do, all of this made my chest ache.
Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one. // âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Ahh this made me want to cry - I love how you dug into his grief in this. How she's able to help him this time, find the words he needs to hear. And ahh I love how you write everyone - Vanessa, Wade, Althea. Logan's chip! I am tearing up again, especially at this part:
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.â
oh!! đ„șđ and then I love the reveal that the cliff was a space in his world, even with their shared history of it. like they were always meant to meet, the âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â had me like !!!! - sad and lovely is so right.
ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
this made me laugh (reference to Hugh's interview right??) omg. and the way you pace things, how they slowly get better and fall into place for her, it makes me so proud, even just as a reader.
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â // It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
Grinning, oh my god. And how sweet she is with the gift and how Wade wants to take a new photo of his new world - my heart. And then how seeing Vanessa and Wade makes her think about more, when at the beginning that was impossible - weeping.
Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
!!!!! god, what a realization. and how she can't handle it, so real. And how he comes through the rain to check on her, oh my god. That he checked, and how scared he must have been!
âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.ïżœïżœïżœ // His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.
Oh. And oh my god that perfectly imperfect kiss, the fact he's been wanting to for ages!!!!! I am screaming. âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â !!!! (the vein appreciation, loved that)
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
eep! đłđ the smut was so perfect, so good. I am obsessed with how soft he is for her -
âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance.
LOGAN đł the desperation with how theyâre still on her table, how sweet and pleased he is - the âthen get it outâ, omg he is so filthy. This was amazing (that stomach vein yesssss) just absolutely steamy as hell and so so well-written and I had to keep taking breaks to stare at the wall. Phew! Fucking her against the wall!!!! I love the use of the strength here and yessss a long night indeed!! đđđ
And gosh, the last segment. No words, my heart is tied up in the sweetest of strings and knots. This was really something special. I already want to reread and pick each line apart. This was Logan and this is canon to me and wow I just loved this so much and I hope you are so proud of this fic because you really really should be. I am going to be thinking about this for a long time đ (and I would love to hear about the title, is Logan her cardinal?)(like a sign of hope and new beginnings?)
Cardinal
Pairing: Logan Howlett ("Worst" Wolverine) x f!reader
Rating: Explicit (for themes and smut).
Word count: 16.6k
Summary: At the edge of the world, someone from another keeps you from stepping off.
Tags/Warnings (Please, read the warnings!!): Post-Deadpool & Wolverine, female reader (female anatomy etc + 2 mentions of hair long enough to fall into your eyes), strangers-to-lovers, depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt and mentions thereof, addiction, drinking alcohol, drugs (mentioned not used), panic attacks, sobriety meetings, anxiety, recovery, co-dependency vibes, sprinkles of soulmateism, explicit smut (oral and unprotected PIV), happy ending (yay!!). If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Notes: Deadpool and Wolverine re-triggered my X-Men obsession and what started as a means to write some smut actually became this idea about two broken people who shouldn't even have met in the first place finding each other. There's a lot of me in this story, more than there's ever been I think. I'm sorry for this glimpse into my head, and I'm sorry if this isn't as Reader-insert as it should be, but... I'm not that sorry, you know. Huge thanks to @javier-pena , for not only reading this over and fixing so many embarrassing mistakes, but also for saying she'd read this even if it was 20k words and always believing in my abilities as a writer, even when I sometimes didn't.
If you want to read the smut as a standalone, you can! Just CTRL + F (or search in page) for 'Logan reaches for' and read away.
THE LOOKOUT
With closed eyes, you inhale the cool, December air, before looking down at your feet. Here, at the edge of the lookout, the grass has been trampled. You imagine friends taking bets on who dares get closest to the edge, lovers making memories, families taking pictures. Itâs strangely soothing that maybe youâre not the first to stand here to do this.Â
Far below your feet, the water laps at the rocks. The force of it depends on the weather and tonight itâs violent, with big splashes and crashing sounds. The wind tugs at your coat, pulling you towards the water as if to help you along, making you look up again as you hold your balance. In front of you, the line of the horizon is dark but visible â it would have been impossible to make out if the moon hadnât been as bright as it is.
Itâs like youâre looking at the edge of the world.
During the weeks that fall had made way for winter, you scoped the place out a couple times. The first time you stood at this cliffâs edge, the place it took you to mentally scared you so much that you got back into your car and broke down in tears. The next couple times, things became more and more serious, as your life crumbled around you, and your feelings numbed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Something had crept in while you werenât looking, settling somewhere behind your eyes and spreading out to make a home behind your ribs, slowly but surely changing you. And once you realized it, it was already too late. It had grown large, became jilted and jealous, like it wanted all of you. It pushed away everyone and everything you held dear, until it was just you and that⊠something.
Especially during the quiet of the night, the lookout became soothing, a strange sense of familiarity enveloping you each time you were here. It was addictive and pretty soon, it became a daily routine to visit. But lately itâs been losing its shine, your feelings here dulling and darkening too. Youâre exhausted, fed up, tired of giving it more of you.
Today you want it to be your last time here.Â
Youâve had countless hours to contemplate what it would be like, imagined â all but romanticised â how the cold water would paralyse your limbs if the impact wouldn't do the trick. You read somewhere that itâs apparently like falling asleep when the water finally fills your lungs. Youâll be gone, but the thing will be too.
The thought makes your eyes fill with tears, but not from fear. All you feel is relief, like itâs right, how itâs supposed to be. It makes you smile despite everything, andâ
âHey, stop!â
A voice behind you thunders through the silence and makes you shriek into the night, dirt toppling over the edge of the lookout below the shuffle of your foot. A string of curses follows, heavy footfalls behind you indicating that the intruder is approaching you.
âFuck off!â you throw over your shoulder, your voice a roar with how itâs amplified by the wind.Â
After, your throat closes up, fighting the angry tears over the fact that you canât even fucking kill yourself in peace. Never have you seen anyone here at night, never. What you hate even more is how it breaks your momentum. The haze that was surrounding you is pierced, and your bodyâs baser instincts kick in. Adrenaline suddenly pumps through your veins, making your legs tremble, your heart hammer, your body scream for you to step back from where youâre standing. Your anger, however, has you nailed to the floor.Â
You almost miss the much softer, âHey,â as a man steps into your peripheral vision. You pretend like you donât hear him, or see him â you simply pretend he isnât there, focussing on getting back into your previous mindset.Â
But then he takes his hands out of his pockets.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you warn, hating how your voice comes out trembling â weak.
âEasy.â He holds his hands up in surrender. âWasnât planning on it.â
You stand there together for what feels like hours. You will yourself to not let it affect you, setting your jaw to keep your teeth from clattering on account of the cold, allow the wind to blow your hair into your eyes without brushing it away. Even when it begins to rain, you donât move, donât blink even once more than you need to. From the corner of your eye you watch the man shove his hands back in the pockets of the brown leather jacket heâs wearing, and you quietly celebrate that your surroundings are fazing him more than they are you.
âYou knowââ he begins.
âIâm not really looking for a conversation.â
âMe neither,â he immediately counters, suddenly impatient, âso Iâll get right to it: You planning on jumping? Because if you think the waterâs gonna be nice to you, youâve got that wrong. Youâll end up in there feeling everything, that fall isnât gonna do shit.â
Having expected a gentle approach, his bluntness and his tone knock the wind out of you. You cock your jaw, the shame creeping up your body the first bit of warmth youâve felt in a while. Your cold fingers ball to fists as you will yourself not to care. Yes, his words and the way he's shatterĂng your expectations with them sting, but you donât even know this guyâ
âAnd thereâs nothing fuckinâ peaceful about it, itâs just panic. Right before you go too farâŠâ He raises a fist and holds it against the center of his chest, â...thereâs this burning right here thatâs hell.â
âAnd what makes you such an expert?â you finally spit out.
âDied like that a couple times,â he says without waiting a beat.
The casual statement of something so bizarre beats your resolve before you know it, your head turning in his direction. ââA couple timesâ?â
âI, uhâŠâ You watch him hesitate, the moonlight illuminating the tick of his jaw, the bob of his throat as he swallows, the way his chest falls as he sighs, âLetâs just say I canât die.â
Before you can stop yourself, you snort at that. âThat must fucking suck.â
He barks out a laugh, âGot that right.â It startles you when his head suddenly turns to you, when he looks you in the eye for the first time. âBut trust me, being down there isnât much better.â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes you waver. You canât really place it, or decipher why it makes you want to open up to him. Maybe itâs because youâre freezing and itâs your body betraying you, tricking you into moving so you can generate some warmth, moving your lips to keep them from going blue. Or maybe itâs simply because heâs a stranger and itâs so much easier to be honest when there are no consequences.
âThings just feel soâŠ,â you begin, voice shaky. Every possible way to end the sentence crosses your mind, seemingly all wrong, before you settle on whatâs closest to how you feel, âendless.â
To your relief, he doesnât say anything. Doesnât tell you to give it time that it will get better, or any of the other bullshit youâve heard from all the other people that had been in your life and left a long time ago. You do find something else in the shift in his eyes, something you havenât encountered before.
Understanding.
It might be worse. If anything, itâs overwhelming, making your eyes dart away from his as you sniff.Â
The wind still tugs at you, the waves still hit the rocks, but your moment seems to have passed. Itâs a sobering conclusion, a twisted version of wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe it was him who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, the outcome is the same.
You take a step back, and another, but it takes considerable effort; you hadnât taken your numb legs into consideration. You stumble, falling back on the dewy, cold grass, not quick enough to catch yourself on your hands. With a groan, you move to sit upright.
âShit. Hey, you still with me?â The stranger kneels next to you, fingers lifting your chin to look into your eyes. âJesus, youâre fucking freezing.â
âNo s-sh-hit,â you retort.
He sighs, offering you a hand so he can pull you up. âCâmon, let's get you warmed up.â
â â â â â
Logan.
Thatâs his name.Â
Itâs how he introduced himself, anyway, after he suggested you follow him. To his credit, he did offer to drive you, but you didnât want to leave your car in the parking lot of the lookout. Logan waited 15 minutes for you while you put the blowers on the highest, warmest setting and waited for the feeling to return to your limbs. After, his brown truck led the way here â here being some hole in the wall, 24 hour diner. You could have not followed, but the drive was kind of mesmerizing; the night seemed darker than usual, and Loganâs tail lights served as a lighthouse.
Outside, the diner is all Christmas lights and flashing signs, but the interior is like something straight out of Twin Peaks; booths to the left, red barstools to the right, a girl that looks too pretty and too young to be here standing behind the counter. There were two other patrons you spotted along the way as Logan led you to one of the back booths. Once seated, Logan studied the pamphletsâor pretended to, more like, because as soon as the waitress came up he ordered two whiskeys and nothing else.
Between then and now, as you nursed your drink sip by careful sip, you hadnât learned much more about him other than that he could knock back a glass of whiskey like he got paid to do so. And in truth, you like it this way; preferring silent company, the droning of the machinery behind the counter and the quiet hum of a song on the jukebox next to the entrance. The white noise helps to distract from the white noise in your head. Settling back into the leather cushions of the booth, you let some warmth seep back into your body. Opposite you, Logan does the same.Â
Some moments after you finish your drink, one of the waitresses walks up to your booth to ask you about a refill, like sheâs asked Logan twice now. Youâre handing her the glass when Logan says, âSheâs had enough.â
Your head whips from her to him. âExcuse me?â
He doesnât say anything, and from the corner of your eye, you see the girl leave. With your glass. Loganâs is on his lips, his eyes observing you over the rim, looking at you like heâ Dammit. You sigh deeply, a sense of anger filling you. You donât need this, least of all from him. When you stand from the booth, those eyes follow you, making you voice your observations,
âQuit pitying me, Logan.â
âIâm not,â he says before taking another sip. âYou still have to drive.â
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âAnd you donât?â
Logan shrugs. âItâs different for me.â
Anger is still prevalent in your voice when you ask, âWell, let me guess, itâs another case of âI died like that a couple timesâ?âÂ
He hums.
âAnd how does that work?â
âRegenerative ability,â he sighs. Another sip before he elaborates, âX-Gene.âÂ
The admission makes you plop back down in your seat. Well, that explains things â heâs a mutant. Youâre not familiar with that world, but you know enough to know it meant that. It isnât like you couldnât have deduced it before, but truthfully, you kind of thought he was bullshiting you as part of some tactic. Now, his actions and words make more sense: He really knows what itâs like to... Thatâs why he had that look on his face. Suddenly, you see him in a different lightâ
âNow whoâs pitying who, hmm?â Logan asks, giving you a thin-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he sets his glass down on the table.
âIâm not, Iâm just⊠processing. So this...â you lift his glass, swirl the contents around, â...doesnât even affect you?â
âIt does. For a few seconds.â He plucks the glass back from your hand, and throws the whiskey back with one gulp. His pupils dilate, pushing the hazel of his irises out until his eyes are almost black for a second, two⊠before going back to normal. âBut if I chugged the bottle, Iâd pass out.â
âWell, so would I,â you say with a chuckle. âSo maybe weâre not that different after all.â
Just as the corner of his mouth lifts, your smile falls, because⊠it isnât true; youâre very different. Youâre pretty sure you donât have what it takes to do what he did tonight. To care enough to do it. To sit with a stranger and hear them bitch and moan about being denied a drink. A feeling creeps up on you, sticky and uncomfortable, like youâve overstayed your welcomeâburdened him.
âI should head home,â you say, standing again.
Lightning fast, Loganâs hand shoots out to close around your wrist. âThat really where youâre going?â
âYes,â you reply. When you pull your hand back, he doesnât let up. You fish your car key out of your pocket with your free hand, voice tighter when you say, âLet me go.â
âJust promise me something,â he says, eyes as dark as theyâd been earlier, yet his drink has gone untouched since. âDonât go back there again.â
âNot making promises I canât keep,â you say, giving him a wry smile. âTo strangers, but least of all to myself.â
He sighs, and lets you pull yourself from his hold.
THE CRAVING
New Years comes and goes, and you quickly discover that it was foolish superstition to think that it might change how you feel.
You find yourself in some club, a drink in each hand. You hate to admit it, but Loganâs words scared you out of your original idea and the only time you can bear to think of how to move on from it is when alcohol soothes the embarrassing grief of your shattered, macabre fantasy. Itâs not a good way to deal with things, but it works.
Thereâs a part of you that welcomes feeling anything at all, but that⊠something inside you is busy trying to squash it.Â
Itâs getting somewhere, because you have no idea how much youâve already had to drink, but youâre buzzing pleasantly. Adding to it, you knock both drinks back, slamming the glasses on the bar before spinning around and facing the crowd of dancing bodies. The music sucks, the dance floor is cramped, youâre tired⊠The truth is that youâre too old for this, but itâs easy to escape here, surrounded by strangers. You clumsily drag the back of your hand over your wet mouth, push your sweaty hair from your eyes, and join them.
The past couple weeks, you found yourself craving something. Contact. And here is where you can get your fill; a hand on your waist, lips on your ear, the music too loud and yourself too drunk to even comprehend whatâs being said, but never more. You want them to get close, but never too close.
After some time â could be an hour, could be 10 minutes â you make your way to the bathroom. Itâs quieter here, the dulled thump of the music making the time you spend there feel slow and syrupy.Â
When you exit the stall, you bump into someone.
Itâs a man. The dark hood over his head obscures his eyes, but you canât help but think heâs looking right at you when a bright, almost unnatural grin appears on his face. It draws you in like a magnet, more so when he says, âNeed something to take the edge off?âÂ
Curiously, you watch as he opens his palm, long fingers unfurling slowly until they reveal a small plastic bag in his hand.Â
âFirst timeâs on the house.â
You have no idea what it is exactly, but your eyes widen. This is new territory for you, and all the possibilities it opens up are suddenly invading your mind. As if on auto-pilot, you reach for the place where you keep your money, the sound of the door opening completely lost on you.
A hand closes around your bicep, pulling you aside with a quick yank of an arm.
âShe isnât interested, pal.âÂ
Itâs another man, who effortlessly tucks you half behind him. Before you can protest beyond an indignant huff, thereâs a sound, like a sword being unsheathed, and you catch a flash of red, and of knives. Frowning, you try to get a better look, but your view is obscured by the manâs shoulder. The hooded man seems undeterred, regarding the weapons with the same sickening grin, before leaving the bathroom, muttering something that you donât understand on the way out. The sword sound returns, the man twists around, andâ
âLogan?â you slur in disbelief.Â
Logan doesnât reply, instead takes hold of your arm again, making you follow him out of the bathroom. There he stops the two of you to murmur something to a woman wearing the same clothes as him, before tugging you along again. Youâre stumbling after him on account of his pace and the iron grip he has on you as he leads you to the back door. He pushes it open with enough force to make the hinges creak, a gust of wind blowing in your face. Itâs a contrast to go from the crowded, sweaty club to the silent, cold back-alley where tall brick walls and employee cars cage you in. You shake your arm and Loganâs grip loosens â another and he lets you go.
âHow did you even findââ You cut yourself off, eyes widening, âOh, my god, are you following me?â
Logan scoffs, narrowing his eyes. âOh, please, do you think I have time to follow you around all day?â
âYouâre here, arenât you? You and your fuckingâŠ,â you gesture wildly into the air at him, âsavior complex.â
âI work here,â he growls. When you give him a look, he adds, âItâs temporary. âSides, me and my savior complex are the reason that creep isnât selling god knows what to you in that bathroom right now!â His voice is a roar, echoing off the walls around you.
âMaybe I wanted that creep to sell god knows what to me in that bathroom,â you say, doing a poor impression of his voice, before turning and walking away from him.
Logan sighs. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm leaving.â
âAnd then what, huh?â
âI donât fucking know, Logan,â you say, twisting around to face him again, arms spread out by your side. âFigure out a new way out of this.â
âYeah? Third timeâs the charm?â
âWhy do you even care, huh? You donât even know me,â you say. Almost immediately, you let out a bitter laugh as your own words hit your ears, a sad realization dawning on you. âBut I guess that makes two of us.â
Itâs not like you expected him to, but he doesnât answer.
âYou know I used to like myself? I used to smile, I used to have friends, I used to be more sober than drunk. But this feeling, it takes⊠everything.â You raise a fist, hold it to the center of your chest. âIt takes everything I love, pushes away everyone I love, including myself. It eats me up, and wants more and more, until Iâm something Iâm not and until Iâm so far away from that version of myself, my old self, that it feels easier to just fuckingââ you pause with a wet gasp for air.
âDestroy yourself,â Logan finishes for you.
Your chest heaves, an unshed tear clings to your lash line. âExactly.â
He takes a step closer to you. âLet me take you home,â he says, voice gentle.Â
You should hate the implications of that gentleness, but you donât. In your drunk state of mind, itâs easier to admit itâs nice that someone understands, that someoneâs there to stop you from going too farâŠÂ
Tomorrow, when some of your pragmatism returns, youâll deny this embarrassing thought ever occurred; if relying on other people worked, it would have worked a long time ago, and you wouldnât be standing here with him. If youâre lucky, you might even forget this entirely, and wake up with a hangover that youâll enjoy a little too much because it feels like a punishmentâ
âWhat about your job?â you ask with a sniff.
Loganâs palm finds the space between your shoulder blades with a gentle push, the warmth of it seeping in through your clothes, and he leads you to his truck. âTheyâll manage without me.â
â â â â â
When you wake, your world is tilted sideways, a blanket is pulled up to your chin and there's a pillow under your head. Theyâre not your own; the blanket is itchy and the pillowâs too small. When you try to move your legs, they stick uncomfortably to the material below them, and you realize youâre on a leather couch. You squint at the light that comes in from a window across from youâ
âMorninâ, sunshine.â
The voice startles you, eyes shifting to focus on the source: A man lying on his front on the floor, chin in his hands as he kicks his feet back and forth in the air.Â
âWish I could say itâs a pleasure, but it hasnât been very pleasurable. Youâve been barfing up the place since the moment you stepped inside. Kept poor Al up all night. Her ears are sensitive,â he adds with a whisper. âBut donât worry, she left about an hour ago.â
âWho are you?â you slur, blinking against the light.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
âCut it out, Wade,â comes the sharp protest from next to you. With considerable effort, you turn your head and see the actual Logan, slumped back in a recliner next to the couch, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes while motioning for the other man to go.
âIâll let you two talk.â Wade winks.
Logan stands when Wade does, walking from your field of view. Your head is scrambling to catch up, trying to piece together what happened last night, but only coming up with bits and pieces.
âHow are you feeling?â Logan asks as he makes his way back to you, handing you a glass of water.
You flinch when the front door closes behind Wade with a bang, before taking the glass from Logan and taking a few thankful sips. âLike shit.â
âYeah,â is all he says as he sits back down.
âWhatââ
âYou fell asleep in the car. Didnât know where to take you, figured the couch was the safest place.â
âOhâŠ,â you say, voice small.Â
You try not to think about being so wasted that you had to be carried out of Loganâs car, or about what Wade said earlier about the things that happened as soon as you stepped inside the apartment. During your silence, Loganâs fingers fiddle with the armrest, before his hand balls into a fist, and it unlocks something in your hazy memory.
âI have the weirdest memory of you having⊠a sword?â
You watch as Loganâs lips purse in amusement. His tongue rolls around in his mouth, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, âYou probably saw these.â He holds up his fist, flexing his forearm before three blades shoot from between his knuckles like claws, accompanied by a shing!
âJesus fucking Christ,â you startle, spilling some water on your blanket. Your head spins with your hangover and the bizarity of the situation. If it didnât sound so much like how it did in your memory, you might think you were still drunk.Â
Thereâs so many things you want to ask, your intrigue almost winning out over your hangover until the sharp start of a headache gives you pause. Instead, you take another sip of water before rubbing your temple.
âItâs a story for another time,â Logan says, like he can read your mind, and you want to ask him that, too. His claws retreat, the cuts they leave between his knuckles immediately smoothing over until theyâre gone. âI gotta go check if I still have a job.â
The words make you feel warm all over, the memory of your back-alley conversation coming back in full force. The thought of the things you admitted to him and that you put him in the position that he had to risk his job for you make you feel even warmer, your gaze no doubt laced with embarrassment and worry when you look at him.
ââS not your fault,â Logan assures, standing and fishing his car key from the pocket of his jeans. âYou donât have to rush but um, make sure you close the door behind you on the way out. Gets jammed sometimes.â
âYeah, okay,â you say, watching as he makes his way to the front door.Â
He takes a final glance at you over his shoulder, then leaves, accompanied by a bang.
THE PUZZLE
It takes you a little over a week to muster up the courage to go back. Admittedly, your courage is aided by another, foreign feeling. You donât have a name for it yet, or maybe youâre afraid to call it what it is, but somewhere along the week, you became consumed with the thought that feeling like you did wasnât all there was. That there is something beyond this.Â
Perhaps foreign wasnât the right way to describe it, because it is something youâve felt before â itâs just been long dormant. The last time, it lasted about a month before it all came crashing down, and you swore you wouldnât fall for it again, but you canât help it. The feelingâs too sweet, and the idea that thereâs still some baser instinct willing you to keep fighting for yourself makes you feel like the sun is shining on you.Â
So yeah, maybe youâre just having one of your good weeks, where the thing sleeps â quiet while its presence still simmers. But you figured nowâs your chance to take advantage of its unguarded moment.
Sneaking into the building is surprisingly easy. It helps that it isnât anything fancy. You wanted to forego the humiliation of ringing the bell and him not letting you in, but standing in front of the door now, panting after climbing three flights of stairs, you donât know if this is much better.Â
Just when youâre about to knock, the door swings open. In the opening, Logan has one arm in his jacket, head twisted to watch the other thatâs caught halfway in the sleeve. It takes him almost bumping into you to realize your presence. âShit, sorry.â He steadies himself with a hand on your arm, the touch leaving you as fast as it appeared.
âHi,â you breathe, taking a step back to give him a little more space.
He nods in greeting. âBrings you here?â
It takes you a moment, caught off guard by him skipping over pleasantries and cutting right to the chase, despite your best intentions; itâs not that heâs ever been any different in his interactions with you.
âI came by because I, um, owe you an apology, for my behavior at your workplace and for, you knowâŠ,â you trail off, gesturing at the door.
âBarfing up the place!â comes a shout from inside the apartment.Â
Loganâs eyes close with a sigh, before he steps into the hallway with you and closes the door with a bang.Â
âThat,â you finish sheepishly. âIâm really sorry.â
He nods in acknowledgement.
âI also wanted to ask, um, if you want to come with me to get a coffee. To make it up to you.â
Logan just looks at you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he crosses his thick arms in front of his chest. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. You hate how he somehow can see right through you, how he makes you elaborate, and honest.
âI want to quit drinking,â you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat. âIt doesnât make me better, and when I donât do it I finally feel a little⊠normal. Maybe coffeeâs technically just as bad, but itâs the only thing thatâs currently acting like⊠like a reverse gateway drink? And I feel like youâre the only person I know that might get that feeling ofââ
âI do,â Logan cuts in, voice softer than before â assuring. His arms drop from where theyâre crossed and he starts making his way to the stairs. âLetâs go.â
â â â â â
You donât know this coffee place, and from the way he looks around and shifts around in a chair that might be a bit too small for him, neither does Logan. Main reason you picked it is because the booths remind you a little too much of a bar â and you like the tall windows. The coffeeâs pretty decent.
âDid they fire you?â you ask, picking at a loose corner of one of the laminated menus before setting it back in its holder.
âBoss commended me for helping a customer, but not so much for leaving before my shift ended,â Logan replies. âGot off with a warning.â
âIâm sorry.â
âSaid that already, and I accepted,â he says. When he takes a sip of the coffee, he winces. âNo need to worry about it anymore, okay? I would do it again.â
You nod, folding your hands around the warm cup in front of you.
âBut, um, Wade hasnât shut up about⊠the incident.â Thereâs a different tone to his voice, like heâs trying to lighten the mood. âHis words.â
âYou know, I kind of get the feeling that Wade doesnât shut up about a lot of things.â It comes out a little meaner than you intend, but it makes Logan laugh and finally slump back in his chair a little.Â
âYouâre a quick study.â
Offering him a short smile in return, you continue with the other real reason you came to see him, before you chicken out. âI also stopped by because I wanted to, uh⊠because I realized I never really⊠I never⊠I never thanked you, for um⊠Andââ
With a shake of his head, Logan sits upright. âYâdonâtââ
To your horror, your eyes brim with tears, âLogan, Iâm supposed to be deadââ
âSo am I,â he counters. He lets the words hang between the two of you for a moment, until you look at him, before he continues, âIâve been where you are. Past it, even.â
You donât know what to say to that, if the lump in your throat will even permit you to speak, but itâs impossible to look away from him. Loganâs gaze is piercing, frown ever present, but itâs not from anger. Instead, itâs like heâs searching for something, the right thing, to say. The silence doesnât bother you; if anything, it makes his words seem more genuine when he does speak,
âI had someone who was annoying enough to not give up on me when I could really use it. If getting a coffee with you thatâs, franklyâŠ,â he makes a face as he pauses, âa horrible excuse for a coffee, helps⊠I can do that. I want to do that.â
The corner of your mouth lifts as you blink away your tears. âWas it Wade?â
Logan lets out a chuckle, and itâs honest â fond. âYeah.â
âFigured,â you say. âHow did you meet him?â
Across from you, Logan stills. You swallow thickly, adjusting yourself in your chair. Itâs an innocent question, but maybe it isnât something heâd like to revisit right now. Loganâs mug squeaks when he grips it tighter, and he looks at you with something like defeatâÂ
It makes you deflate. This must be what you looked like the night you metâŠ
Thereâs no way to have prepared for what he tells you next: That he came from another timeline about three months ago, that he and Wade saved this one from being destroyed and almost got killed in the process, that he has nothing to go back to after the death of his team, so he stayed here.Â
Thereâs hesitation in it, like he isnât telling you the whole story, though you donât comment on it. He doesnât owe you anything and youâre too busy putting all the pieces in the Logan-shaped puzzle in your mind together; his words and actions towards you are starting to make more and more sense.
âItâs a very brave thing the two of you did,â you say when heâs finished.
âHmm, it was all Wade,â Logan muses. âHe did it all for the people he cares about.â
âIâm sure you would have done the same if you were in his place.â
At that, he lets out a dry laugh with absolutely no joy behind it. âDo me a favor, donât put me on a pedestal.â
You frown, but before you can comment, he stands. A knot forms in your stomach, worried youâve offended him, but he clears up the uncertainty immediately.
âI gotta go but um, Wadeâs friendsâ,â he stops himself, correcting, âour friends are coming over to watch a movie, next week, 7:30. I have no idea what crap theyâre going to be watching but⊠itâs nice. Itâll be nice to be around good people.â Logan doesnât wait for your answer, simply takes his wallet from his pocket and leaves enough money to cover the bill.
âWait, no, I invited you,â you protest. âI shouldââ
âYou can pay next time.âÂ
When you nod, he says his goodbyes with a jerk of his head and makes his way to the door.
â â â â â
You see Logan two more times for coffee that week. He never lets you pay.
THE PANTRY
ââbut itâs the best one!â Wade protests, DVD in hand.
âThey fly a car into space, Wade,â Laura sighs.
âLaunched off a jet,â he corrects. Like it helps.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, hiding the smile that appears at everyoneâs babbling. Unbeknownst to you, you had found yourself invited to a double feature night, with Wade as the self proclaimed DVDJ. The credits had barely started rolling on A Good Day To Die Hard, or Wade had another DVD at the ready. It was met with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he presented the first.
It hadnât been easy to make yourself go to this tonight. On your way, youâd thought of turning around at almost every step. Of course, that was all before you knew it would be this fun, and that youâd be relieved you hadnât canceled last minute. Even meeting everyone hadnât been as bad as you feared.Â
Thereâs Peter, Wadeâs friend. Ellie, another one of Wadeâs friends. Yukio, Ellieâs girlfriend. Laura, Loganâs daughter. Mary Puppins, Wadeâs small, disgusting but adorable dog, who had greeted you with equal amounts saliva and enthusiasm, before falling asleep next to the TV, completely unbothered by the commotion. Unlike Althea, Logan and Wadeâs blind roommate, who had taken one listen to the gaggle of voices and left. The elusive Vanessa, Wadeâs ex-but-we-might-get-back-together you heard about a couple times, wasnât there.
Logan had been right, it was nice to be surrounded by good people. Especially good people who were⊠unconventional. It made joining them less complicated, less performative, and as the evening progressed it made you a participant instead of a silent observer. Wade even called you, âgood for the group dynamic,â and it made you beam with pride.
âDonât they have like, rockets attached to the car?â Ellie questions, to which Yukioâs eyebrows knit together.
âExactly!â Wade exclaims, mistaking her confusion for enthusiasm. âCitizen Kane wishes.â
Thereâs more grumbling from everyone when Wade pops the DVD into the player, and he grumbles something back about how Logan would back him up if he wasnât in the bathroom because he, quote unquote, goes way back with some of these dudes.
Youâre pretty sure heâs the only one who knows what heâs even talking about.
An empty bowl of popcorn rests in your lap, and as you put it on the table, you notice how sticky and greasy your fingers and palms are. When the opening credits begin to roll, you get up to wash your hands, assuring Wade he doesnât need to pause the movie before you go.
The apartmentâs small, so it isnât far to the kitchen, but itâs nice to stretch your legs. You can still hear the sounds from movie night; tell-tale action movie music, comments of disbelief and Wade shutting them down. Theyâre more faint, though, more so when you turn the tap on and wash your hands.
Right as youâre finished, you hear a dull thud. You turn the water off, head tilted and at attention while you dry your hands. Thereâs another sound, like a muffled groan. Itâs coming from the pantry, you realize, noting that the door is slightly ajar. Thereâs a shing! sound followed by a distressed grunt, and before you know it youâre walking over, wrapping your fingers around the door to pull it openâ
Youâre not sure what it was you were expecting, but it wasnât this. Loganâs sitting on the floor, uncharacteristically small, curled up against one of the walls. His chest is heaving, shoulders all but going up to his ears with how heâs trying to draw in breaths. Next to him, his fist is balled against the hardwood, claws buried in the floor.
Fuck.
Dropping to your knees, you wedge yourself between his. âItâs okay, youâre having a panic attack,â you explain, your hands landing on his shoulders with a light shake. âYou need to breathe. Iâll help you, just look at me.â
Loganâs head stays tipped down, a deep, rattling breath sailing from his mouth as he curls further in on himself.
âHey!â you say sharply, cupping his jaw with two hands and tilting his face up, âLook at me.âÂ
Loganâs eyes are wet when they meet yours, moving frantically as they search your face, tears spilling over when he blinks. Something changes in his gaze, like he finally sees itâs you, and his bottom lip begins to tremble. His hand lifts from where itâs buried in the floor, clutching onto your wrist like a lifeline.
âBreathe,â you instruct, trying not to flinch at the sharp claws in front of you. He doesnât catch on immediately, so you overdo the purse of your lips when you blow out a breath before exaggerating an inhale through your nose, showing him what to do. It starts off shaky, a fresh set of tears falling from Loganâs eyes as he does as you instruct, but after a couple of times you find a rhythm together. The silver between his knuckles slowly disappears. âThere you go, good job. Keep going.â
You sit like that, until the wild shift of his eyes stops, his pulse steadies beneath your fingertips, and eventually his eyes close with a deep exhale. His grip on you loosens and you take it as your cue to let go of him, slumping back against the wall opposite him with a sigh of relief. The both of you catch your breath, sitting together in silence until Logan breaks it.
âCame outta nowhere⊠suddenly I was back there⊠letting them down.â
âIt caught you off guard, it happensââ
âI let them get killed,â he says, voice raw. âThey were likeâ They were my family, they trusted me to be there for them and I⊠I was too caught up in my own bullshit. I should have been with them, I should be dead with them.â
Loganâs tears still come, but the words almost sound reverent; as if saying them out loud just to punish himself with his own shortcomings is a balm. Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one.
Itâs the final piece of your mind puzzle that makes his picture appear.
âHowâ How can I ever atone for that?â he asks. âHow can I everââ
âLogan, you can't change your past,â you interrupt carefully. âYou made your choices and they made theirs, and you honored them byâ byâŠstepping up to the task, by doing what you did with Wade.â
âWhat if it wasnât enough?â
âWhat if it was?â you counter. Your hand finds his knee with a squeeze, before adding, âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Logan blinks at you, eyes still glossy. He looks devastated yet calmer than before, like the emotion is still there, but displaced. For a good while, you sit with him like that while his sniffles lessen and his breathing returns to normal⊠until thereâs a loud explosion coming from the living room. Itâs followed by cheers and hollers, and youâre both suddenly reminded of where you are.Â
âCâmon,â you say, patting Loganâs knee before using it as leverage to haul yourself up with a groan. You give him room by holding the door open for him. âBetter get back before we miss the good stuff.â
Still on the floor, Logan exhales heavily. âThink this was the good stuff.â
â â â â â
Three weeks later, on your way to your third movie night, you catch Wade and Vanessa making out in the building hallway.Â
It stops you dead in your tracks and makes for an awkward meeting with Wadeâs mystery woman, who is beautiful but very direct when she asks you what the fuck youâre staring at. Wade certainly has a type when it comes to the company he keeps⊠He quickly shushes the situation, introducing the two of you, and it immediately makes Vanessaâs expression twist into recognition.Â
âNice to meet you,â she says, followed by an apologetic smile.Â
You respond in kind.Â
When Wade tugs at her jacket impatiently, they brush past you and make their way to the exit. âSee you around!â she throws over her shoulder.
A grin forms on your lips, realizing what you just witnessed, and you race up the stairs. With Wade gone, youâre not sure if there will be a movie, but at least you have gossip to share with your friends.
THE MEETING
April flies by, rolls into May, and thingâs are⊠okay.
With some help, you find a therapist. Itâs good, sheâs good, but itâs difficult to be confronted with things that are painful, week after week, and to keep reminding yourself itâs all part of the process youâre going through.
Last week, after a particularly difficult session, youâd left her office being auto-piloted by dark feelings, like they knew exactly when to strike. You had turned corners and crossed streets, wandering as you stewed on everything youâd discussed â like your mind was playing a constant loop of your most painful moments. It was a small miracle you had heard your phone, and that you had the presence of mind to thumb the green button.
Youâd answered without saying a word.
âGot any plans?â Logan had asked on the other side of the line.
âNo,â youâd replied, coming back to yourself a little bit at the sound of his voice.
âAlâs making her meatballs â she and Wade canât agree on if theyâre famous or infamous. Thought you might like to come. If it tastes like shit, weâll order in.â
Youâd hummed, managing to ask, âWhat time?â
It had stayed quiet on the other end, and thatâs how youâd known he was onto you, could picture the pinch of his brows, his lips forming a thin line. For the first time, you welcomed itâwanted so badly to reach through the phone, shake his shoulders, ask for his help and accept it, like he had done with you weeks ago.Â
âSounds to me like now might be good.â
âYeah,â you had agreed, the constricting tightness in your chest easing up. âYeah, Iâll be there soon.â Youâd released a shuddering breath, ear still pressed to the phone as you took in your surroundings before you auto-piloted yourself to a different destination.Â
âLogan?â
âStill here.â
âThank you for calling.â
ââcourse. Get here soon, Iâll stay on the phone.â
The afternoon had ended with Logan and yourself allowing Althea to boss you around in the small apartmentâs kitchen, rolling meatballs, sharing stories â Altheaâs recollection of something that happened to her in her 20s that involved her stealing a police horse while wearing nothing but a thong, made you cry from laughing.
The meatballs were the best you ever had, though you couldnât be sure if they actually were, or if it was just the taste of the moment that was better than anything had been that day.Â
Sometime after dinner, Logan had nudged your shoulder to show you a little plastic chip. He flashed it at you long enough that you could read the words one month, before he pocketed it again. Then he suggested you come with him next week.Â
âI thought it was bullshit too, but it helps,â heâd explained. âFigured I couldnât continue to drink whatever that stuff is you call coffee to⊠avoid my problems.â
You contemplated his suggestion. Things were going well for you in that regard, but your therapist had also recommended you go to one of these things, even if it was just for the community aspect of it. It just made it so⊠official. Your problems, but most of all, your recovery. You werenât good at keeping promises to yourself, and this felt like a big commitment. Not to mention the speeches and other peopleâs problems...
But as Logan told you more about it, the location, how it had been for him, you sensed something else between the lines: He wasnât just asking for you, he was also asking for himself. Maybe⊠this was his way of telling you he needed some support.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself inside a high school gymnasium a week later. Itâs as gloomy as you expected. Slick floors, gray fold-out chairs set in neat rows, buzzing lights in a high ceiling, and a slightly raised podium with a whiteboard that reads a welcome message in capital letters.Â
Unsure of what to do, you follow Logan as he weaves through the crowd to find a seat. As you do, it strikes you that thereâs a pretty even distribution of people, with many genders, ages and lifestyles represented. Eventually you take a seat; not quite in the back, but definitely not in the front.Â
The whole thing goes by in a blur, but where you expected to be overwhelmed, you feel⊠connected. Here you are, surrounded by people with different backgrounds, different lives, but all their stories have something you can relate to. Where you thought addiction was the common denominator, itâs actually the desire to turn your lives around that unites you the most.
âBefore we end the night I want to circle back to last week, when we spoke about goals, or things we want to work towards,â says the woman leading the meeting â youâre ashamed to admit you already forgot her name. âDoes anyone want to share something about that?â
It takes a lot to hide your surprise when Logan raises his hand.Â
âLogan! Come on up!â She sounds as surprised as you feel, beckoning him to her.
The plastic chair he sits on creaks when he stands and his boots squeak against the shiny floor as he does as she asks. He looks so out of place on a podium; both larger than life behind the lectern and lost to the space of the stage. He clears his throat as he retrieves a paper from his pocket and unfolds it while his eyes scan the room until they land on yours. You give him a little nod of encouragement, and it kicks him into gear.
âNot good at this stuff, so Iâm going to keep it brief,â he starts.Â
It earns him a chuckle or two from the other attendees, and you can tell he doesnât expect it when he looks up from his paper. Your hands clasp together with nerves as you watch him divide his weight from one leg to another, before focussing his gaze back down.
âMy life has changed a lot over the past few months. For the first time in a long time, itâs not all bad. Coming here has been good. Iâm starting to feel more like I did beforeââÂ
He stops his monotonous droning with a frustrated sigh, stuffing the piece of paper in his pocket and sounding considerably more lively after.Â
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.âÂ
You exhale for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
âSo, thatâs what Iâm currently working on.â Logan sighs. âThatâs it. Thank you.â
A small applause follows, and you quickly unclasp your hands to join in.
Your palms hurt after.
â â â â â
âIt was really nice, what you said in there,â you say, fingers caressing a little plastic chip of your own that you keep safe in your coat pocket. You havenât felt proud of yourself in a while, but tonight you do.
The evening is nice, the setting sun bathing the city in hues of orange and pink. Your pace is slow and comfortable, your arm occasionally brushing Loganâs when you make room for all the other pedestrians. You didnât plan on him walking you home, but he insisted and you enjoy the company â it makes you a little sad when you turn onto your street.
Logan scoffs in reply.Â
âIâm being serious,â you say, knocking your elbow against his arm on purpose now. âIt was nice for people to hear a guy like you say those things. Iâm proud of you.â
You swear he blushes. âA guy like me, huh?â he asks, almost amused.
Itâs your turn to scoff. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âA mutant?â He looks at you from the corner of his eye.
âNo,â you say, because itâs not what you meant, but the hint of seriousness in his voice and the fact heâs not entirely wrong make you track back. âWell, maybe that, too, but I meant someone who looks like you, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Sets a nice example.â
Logan doesnât shoot your comments down like you expect. Instead, he seems to consider your words, maybe he even silently accepts the compliment. âThink you have some things to say that could set a nice example, too.â
âMaybe next time.â
During the comfortable silence that follows, youâre reminded of something youâve been considering for weeks now. You hadnât paid much attention to it since that night, but as you worked through the feelings that got you to that point, the question kept coming back.
âIâve been wondering something,â you begin. âThe night we met... What were you doing at the lookout?â
Logan glances at you, contemplating the question. âWhen I had just, um, gotten here, it wasnât always easy to adjust, you know? So I went to all these places that I knew from back there, to ground myself, to see that things may be different, but that theyâre not that different.â
âYou went there on your side?â
He hums.
âBy yourself?â
He hums again.
âDid youâŠâ You hesitate to finish your sentence, both because youâre not sure if you have any right to ask and because youâve reached your building. You stop walking, and Logan follows your lead.Â
âNo, no, no, I⊠I canât explain it, itâs just one of those places I was always drawn to,â Logan says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans with a shrug. His brows furrow suddenly, his mind seemingly lost in something before his eyes flick back to yours. âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â
Itâs a thought thatâs equal parts sad and lovely.Â
The silence that follows hangs between you, thick with something you canât place, but Logan doesnât look away from you, eyes scanning your face before they land back on yours. You canât help thinking that maybe this is how he does it, and the question comes out before you can help it,
âIs mind reading part of the X-Gene thing?â
His eyes widen â amusement or surprise, you canât say. âIt can be.âÂ
âCan you do it?â
âNo,â he says. âAnd itâs for the best, fucking hurts when you canât control it.â Then the start of a smile begins to form on his lips. ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
It makes you chuckle. âRight. Not to mention some minds are probably a lot â imagine reading Wadeâs mind.â
âHurts to even imagine,â Logan says, gesturing for you to be quiet as he winces, but a smile breaks through anyway. When your shared laughter dies down, he jerks his chin at the building behind you, âThis your place?â
âWhaâ?â Going home long forgotten in the moment, you glance over your shoulder. âOh! Yes.â
âAll right,â he nods. âSee you next week?â
âDefinitely,â you reply.
âOh,â Logan says right before you turn around. âBring coffee? You owe me.â
You make a face at him. âYou donât have toâ Iâll get you something else, I know you donât like it.â
âI like it when I drink it with you.â
Itâs incredibly hard to hide your grin. âOkay, Iâll bring coffee. See you next week, Logan.â
âSee you.âÂ
He lingers, watching you climb the steps, waiting until the door opens after you turn your key in the lock. Itâs not until you close the door, when you can only make out his silhouette through the patterned glass window in it, that he walks off.
THE SUMMER
Walking back from a very successful job interview, you find yourself on your way to your friends with a big, plastic bottle of coke under your arm. Itâs a warm feeling to know that youâll soon have a job that suits you and that you have people to celebrate with; you look forward to seeing them and sharing this with them.
Youâre invited inside with open arms, tight hugs, exclaimed praise and congratulations, and it makes you giddy, a feeling so foreign that you wish you could bottle it up right this instant. With a grin, you shake the Coca Cola bottle, before twisting the cap off. You let out an excited shout as you watch the foam shoot out from the top, bubbles and dark liquid pulsing down the neck of the bottle as cheers surround you.
Itâs not champagne, but Althea grumbles about the soda ruining her floors, Wade gets mismatched glasses from the cupboard, and Logan clinks his glass to yours and tells you heâs proud of you.
Itâs way better than champagne.
â â â â â
Youâre in serious, desperate need of a new placeâŠÂ
The August heat is relentless, and the entire buildingâs AC isnât working. Itâs with considerable effort that you manage to make your way to your friendsâ place, the promise of a constant, cold stream of wind the only thing that keeps you going. But when the front door opens, it isnât with the welcoming, cool waft of air you were hoping for. Instead, thereâs no temperature change, only Wade in his underwear.
âNo.â Itâs a little embarrassing how you literally pout, but these are desperate times. âHere, too?â
âIf it wasnât this fucking hot Iâd be offended by that greeting.â He sighs. âCome in.â
Slightly defeated, you shuffle past the threshold, while Wade lingers. Mary Puppins trots by, an ice-pack wrapped in a towel secured on her back, and you catch a glimpse of Logan exiting the bedroom. Heâs in black shorts and a ribbed, sleeveless shirt, and with a desperate groan, he lets himself fall back into the recliner in the living room.Â
âTried everything, thereâs no fixing that fucking thing.â
Wade makes a face, âListen, I know what youâre thinking: Wadeâs in his underwear, Loganâs emerging from the bedroom⊠But we didnât fuck, itâs not that kind of stââ
âWho are you talking to?â you ask from behind him, glancing over his shoulder into the empty hallway.
âNo oneâYou!â The door closes with a bang.
Confused, you walk further into the apartment. âWell, telling me you didnât is just going to make me think that you did.â Wade darts past you and takes a seat on the couch, but you hang back and lean against the kitchen table to avoid sitting on leather.
Wade suddenly turns to face you. âDid I ever tell you about our time in The Void?â
âWade,â Logan warns.
Wadeâs eyes are sparkling with mischief and you canât deny how fun it is to indulge the way he pushes Loganâs buttons. Itâs a good distraction from how youâre drenched in sweat. And youâre actually curious.
You play your part, letting out a faux-scandalised gasp. âDid you..?â
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â
âShut up. Both of you.â Logan groans, lacking any real threat as he adjusts in his seat and wipes some sweat off his brow. âItâs too fucking hot to be annoyed.â
It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
â â â â â
Apartments look weird with nothing in them.
Itâs what crossed your mind after you finished packing up your place three days ago, and it crosses your mind now as you look into the open space of your new one from the doorway. Itâs a pleasant, late summer day; perfect weather to move, which was on your schedule for today.
âIncoming!â comes from behind you, followed by quick, heavy steps.
You jump aside as Ellie sails through the door, carefully setting a big box marked âKitchenâ down in its designated area, followed by Logan who is balancing three boxes at once. After a beat, Yukio follows, holding a single table lamp in her hand. It takes some effort not to laugh, not just because of how funny it looks, but also because you relate; after all the exhausting late nights you pulled packing up, thatâs also the kind of energy youâre bringing to this.
Itâs nice of them to help, and instead of shoving that feeling away in fear, you allow yourself to bask in it. You donât get long, however, because more help has just arrived.
Wade. With Vanessa. Hands interlocked.
It draws everyoneâs eyes to the doorway. Wade looks almost bashful, and it baffles you how someone who can say the most insane things unprompted, all without batting an eye, could blush while holding hands with a girl he likes. To his credit, he shakes it off quickly.
âAll right, all right,â he says. âStop ogling me and my girlfriend and get back to work everyone!â
â â â â â
âSo it was like an experiment?â you ask, stirring the pot on your stove before taking a careful bite of food off your wooden spoon.
Tonightâs your first night hosting at your new place â Family Dinner, Wade had dubbed it. With fall setting in, you had an idea of what to make, but it still made you nervous to have everyone in your space. Logan saw right through you, offering to come over early to help you prepare.Â
Once he had arrived, it hadnât taken long for him to admit he wasnât much of a cook, so he mainly chopped vegetables as you chatted; you about your new place, Logan about his new job as a boxing instructor, Laura going off to college. You donât remember exactly how the subject of his adamantium came up, but he was telling you freely about it.
âThey needed someone who could regenerate fast enough to bond with it,â he explains. âI was in a dark place. Figured I didnât have anything to lose if it didnât work.â
You nod in understanding. âDo you⊠remember much about it?â You put your spoon down, then put the lid back on the pan.Â
Loganâs knife stops hitting the cutting board. âYeah, I⊠I remember every second of it.â
You look at him then. His eyes are still cast down at his task. Unsure of what to say, you think about what youâd want to hear, and you find it might be best to say nothing at all. Instead, your hand finds his shoulder. Loganâs head turns to you, and you feel like the look you share is more important than anything you couldâve told him. His hand covers yours with an appreciative squeeze.Â
âBut Iâm trying to leave that there so I can focus on remembering what happens to me here.â As soon as heâs said it, his hand quickly slips off yours, adding, in a rush, âHere in this timeline, I mean.âÂ
You smile at him, but a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. âThat sounds like a great idea.â
â â â â â
âI need your help with something,â you say, balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder while you turn a birthday card over in your hand. Deciding you donât like it, you throw it back on the pile of cards and continue your grocery shopping.
âJust say the word,â comes Loganâs reply from the other end.
âI need you to steal something out of the apartment for me.â Thereâs a silence, and you purposely let the feeling of trepidation linger.
âAm gonna need you to say a little more than just that.â
You laugh, âWadeâs been talking about getting a little frame for his polaroid. You know, the polaroid that you held on to for him in The Void, after the two of you fuââ
âYes, I know the one,â he interjects with a huff. He pauses, sighs, then says, âConsider it done.â
THE PARTY
âThere you are!â Wade shouts after he opens the door. He pulls you into a hug that you return with a wide smile. Over his shoulder, you see that the apartmentâs crowded, bustling with people who are there for his birthday party.
âI got you something,â you say, offering the small package to him after you step inside and hang up your coat.
âWouldnât have let you in if you hadnât,â he admits as he closes the door behind you with a bang. Wade takes the package from your hand, shaking it next to his ear but hearing it make no sound in response. âIs it a cock ring?â
You canât help but laugh at that. âUnfortunately, they were all sold out.â
âThey always are,â he says, making a disappointed face. Bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you watch as he tears at the wrapping paper to reveal his gift. He makes another face when he sees it. âWell, now I feel like an asshole. This is really nice.â
âLogan helped me kidnap it,â you explain, pointing at the picture. âAnd the little red hearts on the frame, well, theyâre your color, but they also reminded me of how much you care about people.â
When he looks at you after, itâs with genuine emotion⊠but Wade is Wade. âNever thought Iâd say this, but Iâm kind of happy you walked in here barfing up the place.â
A strange mix of embarrassment and gratitude claws its way up your neck. âThank you.â
âWe should take a new one,â he decides suddenly, pointing at the picture. âYou both should be in it.â His head turns, watching as Logan approaches the two of you. âBut letâs be realistic, his shoulders are so broad he wouldnât even fit in the frame, much less his bulââ
âStop talking about my dick, Wade,â Logan snaps.
âI was saying only good things! Jeez, so sensitiveâŠâ Wade turns, putting the picture on the kitchen table behind him where it joins all the other gifts.
âDid he like it?â Logan asks, voice low.
âYeah,â you smile.
âGood,â he replies. âWas a nice idea.â
You eye all the other gifts, some clearer who they are from than others. âWhat did you get him?â
The corner of Loganâs mouth lifts as he points at a roll of silver duct tape with a small red bow on top, making you fix them both with a confused look.
âItâs an inside joke,â Logan shrugs.
Wadeâs eyes sparkle, but in a rare turn of events, he doesnât elaborate, only adds, âItâs classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.âÂ
âAnd I have top level clearance, lieutenant,â you reply. You exhale through your nose in an amused laugh when Wade makes a surprised face that indicates youâve gotten the reference. âWhat, you thought a Tom Cruise impression could save you?â
âNo,â he grins, and as if on cue, the doorbell rings, âbut that can. Birthday Boy duty calls, but I want it on record that I could do Top Gun, easily, while Tom would never be able to pull off Deadpool.â
â â â â â
The party settles into something comfortable, soft music in the background of lively chatter. Yukio has just finished telling you about a Professor Layton cosplay sheâs doing when you excuse yourself, both your glass and your social battery empty enough to look for a momentary out. Finding your way through the crowd, you make it to the kitchen, filling your glass with water and taking a few sips.Â
While you do, the music suddenly gets louder, taking over for the steady chatter. You turn around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, and watch as Wade drags Vanessa to the middle of the apartment. People make room for them, exchanging looks while Wade wraps his arm around her waist, takes her hand in his and begins dancing with her. With a laugh, she slaps him on the chest, before settling into his embrace anyway. Some follow their lead, but your eyes stay glued to them. Wade spins Vanessa under his arm, the smile on her face bright enough to light up the entire room. In return, he looks at her with so much adoration heâs almost glowing himself. It fills you with warmth to see the both of them so happy.
It hits you how you havenât thought about this in a while. Youâd decided long ago that the future wasnât something you had to worry about, but suddenly youâve arrived, like youâre in some alternate reality where your future is now, and that it would be nice to share it with someone. The sting behind your eyes catches you a little off guard; mixed feelings of time that has been taken from you, but also of time youâre getting back with the life you now have.
For a while now, youâve suspected the thing inside you is gone, that there isnât much to feed off of anymore. If it is, it would make sense that thereâs room for something else.
Wade and Vanessa make it look easy, even though you know itâs been far from easy for them. You suppose thatâs what itâs like, especially as you get older. Itâs less about big gestures, more about small ones; someone to make you laugh, to spin you under their arm, who knows how to apologize, seeks you out during your quiet momentsâ
âDo you dance?â
You startle, head turning towards the voice next to youâÂ
âLogan,â you breathe.Â
Itâs like youâre seeing him for the very first time. Heâs standing so close, almost touching you but not quite, heat radiating off of him nonetheless. The plaid shirt heâs wearing isnât even buttoned and still the fabric is pulled taunt over his shoulders and the thick of his biceps. Heâs grinning, his nose pulled up in an adorable scrunch, the corner of his eyes crinkling - you never noticed before, but thereâs a hint of green between the hazel.
It hits you so suddenly that you have to grab the counter to keep your balance. Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
All you can do is blink at him, dazed, unable to speak, even more so when he leans in a little closer, mistaking your silence for misunderstanding. âI mean, not that Iâ You and Wade were doing a bit earlier, itâs a reference toââ Logan straightens suddenly, his expression slipping into concern as he watches you, âAre you okay?â
You feel warm, so aware of all his attention on you that youâre afraid he might be able to see your pulse blink rapidly below the angle of your jaw. âYeah,â you reply, voice hoarse, looking away from him to blink the leftover wetness from earlier out of your eyes.Â
Anxiety claws its way into your chest, your mind coming to terms with what itâs puzzled together at such a sickening pace that thereâs an immediate knot in your stomach. The party has instantly lost its shine, and you look down at the glass in your hand, gulping down its contents. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you need to think about this beforeâ
âI gotta go,â you say in such a rush that it almost sounds like one word while you set your glass on the kitchen counter.
Loganâs eyes follow you as you push past him, grab your coat and reach for the doorknob. âWaitââ
âBye, Logan.â
THE TABLE
Once at home, you change into something more comfortable, your mind racing while you peel your party clothes off, toss your bra aside, change into an oversized shirt and plop down on the couch after.
Despite having already established that your mind was occupied with other things for a very long time, itâs laughable in hindsight that you never noticed your feelings before. Itâs not like you donât know what Loganâs like; heâs kind, funny, supportiveâŠ
âŠbroad, handsome.
Shit.
Why did you have to come to your senses? Things were better before that moment. Loganâs your friend, whom you met in the most unconventional way possible. Itâs ridiculous to want more than what you have when what you have is good. Or to think that he would want more.
But he might.
Because you may have been occupied with depression, anxiety, recovery, and everything in between, but you were there; you remember the time you spent with him, the way he looks at you, drinks the coffee you like, laughs at your jokes, seems to know exactly when to call you, seeks you out in a crowd.
But it would change everythâÂ
Actually, not a whole lot would change, if you really think about it. You already see him all the time, youâve seen the very worst of each other, overcome a great deal of hardship together, you make each other better, his friends are yourâŠÂ
friends.Â
You didnât say goodbye to Wade.
The thought comes suddenly. It was his birthday party and you didnât even say goodbye to him before you left. Youâre a terrible friend. Dread sinks into your limbs, and you reach for your phone to type out a quick, apologetic message. Just as you hit send, thereâs a series of loud knocks on the door, and it makes you freeze up where youâre seated.
âAre you in there?â a muffled voice calls out.
Itâs Logan, you realize, and a plethora of fake excuses as to why you left the party early present themselves to your mind as you quickly make your way over to the door.
The first thing you notice when you open it is that heâs dripping wet from the rain, clothes soaked through and his hair flat. Thereâs a deep furrow in his brow, and itâs different from how he usually looks; he looks actually mad.
âLogan, is everythingââ you begin, concerned, but he cuts you off by pushing past you and letting himself inside, boots stomping against the wooden floor.Â
âJesus, here you are. Whyâd you leave like that, huh? Saying goodbye, your eyes all wet. I went after you and you were fucking gone, it scared the shit out of me. Didnât see the car at the lookout, but I went to look for you anyway, and you werenât in the water, thank fuckââ
âWait, you wentââ you pause, the mental image of Logan running out into the rain to the cliffside making your eyes widen. âDid you think..?â
âYeah,â he sighs, shoulders slumping.
âShit.â Your heart is racing when you step closer to him. âNo, I wasnât⊠I donât want that anymore.â
âThen what the fuck was that all about?â
The desperation and misunderstanding in his eyes is unmistakable, and you hate that you made him feel like that. âI was just⊠I needed a moment, after seeing Wade and Vanessa like that,â you say, trying to provide yourself with more time to think, unsure if you already want to broach the subject of why you really left.
âYou⊠like Wade?â Logan asks, his frown deepening.
You canât help the laugh that escapes you at the unexpected question. âNo. I mean, I adore Wade, but not like that. Heâs with Vanessa.â
The answer does nothing to change his expression. âAnd you want it to be different?â
His line of questioning confuses you. âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.âÂ
Internally, you curse the way he always makes you say too much, because you can see the understanding wash over his features. His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.Â
Logan reaches for you so quickly that you can barely prepare for it, a hand on your waist to pull you in, another on your cheek to tip your face up and guide your mouth to his. A shaky breath sails out through your nose when your lips meet, your eyes fluttering shut and your palms sliding up his damp but warm chest to curl in the soaked fabric of his shirt. Itâs eager, and the angle is off, but itâs quickly adjusted with a brief parting and a near in-sync tilt of your heads in the other direction.Â
Logan pulls away, but stays close, and you almost feel his words before hearing them, âBeen⊠thinking about doing that.â
âReally?â you say, breathless and amused. âWhen did you, um, start wanting to do that?â
âFew weeks agoâFuck, no, more than that. Almost did, that day after your first meeting, after you told me you were proud of me,â he admits. âBut I wanted to give you time, space. Wasnât sure if you feltââ
âI do. Didnât realize it before, but I fucking do,â you assure him, another tug on his collar trying to pull him back to you. His admissions, knowing he wants you too, only make you want him more, like you have to make up for all the time you wasted not doing this sooner.
Loganâs hand on your waist holds you off. âI just donât know how to⊠how to be this,â he confesses softly.
âThatâs okay,â you say, your nose brushing against his. âI donât either.â
He inches forward like he intends to kiss you again, but seems to reconsider, swallowing hard before saying, âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â
The words make you surge forward to close the gap between you, your brows creasing, attempting to convey everything you feel with one press of your lips to his. Loganâs hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you to him in a way that seems to mirror your efforts. Something lights up inside you, something you lost long ago, and it makes you bold, opening your mouth under his to get a taste of him.Â
His grip on you tightens with a groan, spurring him into action and walking you backwards into the dark kitchen, the only illumination the slivers of moonlight that come through the kitchen window. You jolt when the back of your thighs hit the table, before youâre scrambling to get on top of it, two hands at your waist helping to hoist you up. Your thighs widen to make room for Loganâs while you push the green flannel shirt off his shoulders, struggling to peel it off his arms to the point you have to break away with a laugh to really get it right. It lands on the floor with a wet sound, before he reaches for the back of his shirt, curling his fingers around the collar and pulling it over his head.
Loganâs sturdy, warm to the touch and surprisingly pliant when you canât help but let your fingers flit along the corded muscles and protruding veins while he toes off his shoes. His hand flies to the back of your head to fist the hair at the nape of your neck when your lips explore, find his jaw, and travel down his neck. A soft sound sails from his mouth, a barely audible moan that carries over into something deeper when your lips brush a spot just above his clavicle. Using the grip he has on you, he drags you back up to his mouth, doing some more of his own exploring when his warm tongue strokes against your own.Â
âYouâre so good to me,â he murmurs with a buck of his hips against yours. The thrill of having him pushed up against you, half-hard, warm, full of promise, makes you moan, teeth clacking against his when you do. âAlways so fucking good to me.â
It makes you want to protest, from the very moment you met, heâs the one always being that to you, but it dies on your tongue when Loganâs flicks over the tips of his fingers. His impatient hand finds its way between you, disappearing under the waistband of your underwear and stretching the material to make room. His name comes out as a whimper when his spit-slick fingers easily glide through the soft skin between your legs. He curses, another buck of his hips pressing his hand closer against you, and your kiss turns messy and uncoordinated when he dips one finger to touch your clit.Â
âThis okay?â Logan asks when you gasp, drawing languid circles between your legs.
âYeah, itâs justâ Oh, god.â Two thick fingers find your entrance, swirling the wetness there around. âBeen a while,â you manage to finish your sentence.
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
All you can do is nod, and Logan presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before he pulls his hand back. Itâs paired with a wet sound that makes your cheeks heat, more so when you watch him get on his knees and yank you to the edge of the table, the quick turn of events and the casual display of his strength making you a little dizzy. Loganâs nose presses into the fabric between your legs with a sharp inhale, before quick, practiced moves work your underwear down your legs. One eager hand places a thigh on his shoulder as another holds you at the bend of your knee. You lie back, arching as you hurriedly pull your t-shirt over your head, leaning up on your elbows just in time to watch him bend down.Â
The feeling of Loganâs hot breath sailing out over your sensitive skin alone is enough to make you gasp. He drags his lips and nose across your folds, easing you into it as much as his lack of patience will allow before tasting you with a swipe of his tongue. It isnât tentative or testing, but firm and sure, and clearly for his enjoyment as much as yours when he repeats his action and groans into you. The vibrations of it and the gentle scratch of his facial hair only add to the liquid feeling in the pit of your stomach. Letting go of your knee, he curls a strong arm around your thigh, spreading you open then pulling you flush against him while he sucks your clit into his mouth.
âOh, that feels really good,â you spur him on, your heel digging in between his shoulder blades. You watch him with hooded eyes, shifting your weight to one elbow so you can cup your breast with a whine.Â
Loganâs eyes slip shut in focus, working his tongue up and down your clit and making you arch into his mouth. Reaching for you blindly, he slides a hand over yours on your chest, fingers fitting between your own and squeezing while his tongue slides lower to lick over where youâre dripping for him. He lets out an appreciative hum as he repeats the move until your thighs clench and shake around his ears. His tongue dips inside you, curling up against the slick walls of your cunt, and his name tumbles from your mouth, soft, pleading, making his eyes shoot open to meet yours.
The sight of him looking up at you like that from between your thighs, with dark eyes, the tip of his nose glistening with your wetness, will probably haunt you for the rest of your life.Â
Logan shushes your begging, pulling away and watching as your pussy clenches at the sudden lack of attention. âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance. It meets absolutely no resistance, a second finger sliding inside with just as much ease, and he sets a steady, deep rhythm before his mouth returns to your clit.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuckââ Your head rolls back between your shoulder blades, mouth open on a silent gasp, but he draws your attention back to him with a curl of his fingers, finding a spot that makes you go rigid for a second. It all builds so fast, so suddenly. The hand on your chest shakes Loganâs off, finding the crown of his head and sliding your fingers into his hair. Heâs too strong to really make purchase, but you try anyway, using your grip to roll your hips against him. The sound of his groans, every flick of his tongue and every squelching, delicious curl of his fingers all send you closer and closer, until his hand presses down on your belly, andâŠ
âLogan,â you manage, voice sharp with a warning that comes too late when he makes you tumble over the edge.Â
Itâs so much after so long, the force of it making you fall back against the table, something between a gasp and a shout tearing from your throat. He holds you tighter, to keep you in place and guide the desperate roll of your hips against his face. Your orgasm quickly slips into something bordering on oversensitivity, and you let out a dry sob that makes you slap a hand over your mouth when Loganâs tongue travels a path from where his stilled fingers disappear inside you, up to your clit. He stays there, gentle, uncharacteristically patient as you slowly come to a twitching halt.Â
Heâs a blur when he comes back into your field of view after standing up, towering over you to watch as you come back down to earth. Becoming sharper with every heavy blink of your eyes, you notice the smile on his face is smug, that the hair surrounding it is a shade darker than the rest. You sigh softly when his fingers slip from you, the feeling of them sliding wetly over your clit making you tremble, but his touch doesnât leave you completely when he moves to stroke the outside of your thigh.
âHowâs that?â Logan dares to ask.
âHmm, no speaking yet,â you protest.
Reaching for him, you slide both of your arms up over his broad shoulders, wrists crossed in the nape of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Itâs slow, and deep, the taste of yourself shared between the two of you as your tongue slides over his. The table protests with a creak when his hands land beside your head, more when his chest pushes down on yours and you wrap a leg around his waist to get him even closer. The hair scattered across his broad chest teases your nipples and the hard ridge of his cock strains against his jeans and presses up against your slick cunt. It makes your jaw go slack, stoking your desire and making you burn with the need to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.Â
With a push against his shoulders, you take him along as you sit upright again, accompanied by another creak of the table. Mouth still on his, you slide a hand down to cup him over his jeans, the weight of him against your wide open palm making you pulse. Logan grunts when your hand squeezes, and your mouth slides off his, kissing his jaw, sliding back down his neck. He cups your head, keeping you in place while watching your hand.
âFeels nice,â he husks, voice so deep it makes you want to push him aside and get on your knees for him, but then he asks, âAre you gonna let me fuck you?â
âGod, yeah,â you say with a nod, watching as the mark you just sucked into his neck disappears far too soon while you continue rubbing him over the denim. âWant you inside of me.â
âJesusâThen get it out,â he instructs, guiding your hand to his belt.Â
If you werenât so turned on you might wince at how eager you are, at how quickly you tug the buckle open and pull the leather free. Logan groans when it relieves some of the pressure, letting his forehead rest against yours. Together, you watch your hands make quick work of his zipper, your fist closing around his cock while your other hand works his pants down until he can kick it off and under the table.
He fits nicely in your palm, heavy and ready, sticky at the tip. With a purse of your lips, you let your spit trickle down in a straight line, and he hisses when it hits him. Your free hand flattens against his stomach, sliding down along the hard planes of his body and following the vein just below his belly button down, until it meets your other hand that loosely strokes up to the root of his cock. Logan arches into you when you stroke back up with a tighter grip, all but getting on his toes to chase your touch. Using both of your hands to get all of him, you twist your fists in opposite directions once, twice, before circling his tip with one thumb. Your other hand curls around the underside of him, dragging some of your spit down to his balls with the tips of your fingers.
âFâfuck,â Logan stutters when you play with him there, cupping him in your hand as well as you can and squeezing his shaft when it twitches in response. His eyes slip shut as his palms land on the outside of your thighs with a smack, fingertips digging into your soft skin.Â
It makes you jolt, then grin, giddy from the sharp sting and the power you have over his pleasure. âHowâs that?â you echo with a teasing lilt.
He does have the words to answer, albeit a little slurred, ââS good, sweetheart.â
The nickname tacked on at the end takes root in your chest, blooms bright and makes you ache. You translate your appreciation into tightening your strokes and spreading more of the precome that steadily leaks from his tip around.
âCâmere,â Logan says softly, taking over for you with one hand, giving himself a few strokes before pushing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer to line himself up with you.
Youâre so wet that the head of his cock is practically already slipping inside of you, but your hand clasps around his bicep when he really starts to breach you. After giving you a shallow little thrust, his hips draw back, before pushing a little further, gauging your reaction.
âJust like that,â you sigh, watching the careful slide of him in and out of you. âKeep going just like that.â
He gets you opened up like that, giving you a little more with each wind of his hips. Loganâs hand finds the back of your neck, his palm splaying out and keeping you close enough that youâre practically sharing air with each sigh and moan. Eventually, your knees have to draw up to his flanks in order for him to keep going and you wind a leg around his hip to close the final distance with a press of your heel into one of the firm cheeks of his ass. A long breath sails out from between your lips when you pulse around him, slowly adjusting to having all of him filling you up. You can tell he has to put considerable effort into letting you, wood groaning below you when he clutches onto the table.
âFuck, itâs a lot,â you say, and when he grins against your mouth you canât help but kiss him again â just a peck. The hand at the back of your neck squeezes in reassurance as he continues to let you lead, and itâs a small gesture, but it makes you feel warm all over. You melt into it his touch, your body relaxing as the pleasure of the stretch of him takes over. Â
âCan stay like this a little longer if you want,â he says, but the strain in his voice says something different.
âHmm, no, you can move.â Youâve barely said it, or his hips are drawing back, and it would have made you laugh if it didnât feel so fucking incredible. He almost slips from you completely, before sliding all the way back inside with a grunt. The table scrapes along the floor, and vaguely you register one of your chairs falling over in the process. When he repeats the action, the furniture squeaks again below you. âJust donât break my table.â
The sound he makes in response is non-commital, and when he fucks back into you and nudges against something wonderful, you canât say you disagree. Grabbing hold of his shoulder and using the leg you have wrapped around him, you roll your hips against his, and he begins to meet you halfway until you work up a rhythm together. The table protest further, a shrill sound filling the room after each slap of skinâ
With a frustrated groan and accompanied by a startled squeal from yourself, Logan lifts you. The surprised laugh that threatens to bubble up your throat quickly morphs into something heavier that comes out with a rasp when he makes it all look unusually effortless. Attempting to brace yourself, you sling one arm over his shoulders, the other winding around his neck so you can rake your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. Itâs a struggle to keep your balance, a helpless heel digging into the back of his thigh to keep yourself upright. Quick to aid, Logan slides an arm under you, fingers splayed across your ass as your knee hangs off the inside of his elbow. He turns a quarter, presses you up against the wall, and doesnât miss a beat as he continues fucking you.Â
âJesus, Logan,â you say, voice almost a growl and barely recognizable as your own.
With your new position, you can see him better, the both of you lit from the side with the window to your left. The moonlight paints him in a tapestry of light and shadows when the wind blows through the tree branches, momentarily amplifying the glint in his eyes and the flex of his chest and arms like a strobe light.
The different angle he finds with his cock is a little too good, the feeling of the thick base of him stretching you open with each thrust making you dazed and talkative, âItâs so deep like this, canâoh, my godâcan feel you everywhere.âÂ
Logan curses at your words, squeezing your waist and pushing you harder against the wall. Thereâs a deep-voiced appreciation of how good you feel in there too that doesnât quite make it from your ears to your brain because somehow heâs still speeding up. His head ducks down to your chest, mouthing at the soft skin of your breast before closing his lips around a nipple.Â
You whine, using the grip you have on him to roll your hips against the piston of his while you pant into his crown. Though the sound he makes against you when you do it makes you beam with pride, itâs not something you can keep up for very long, your hold on him slacking after a few thrust until you slip back against the wall.Â
Logan pulls back when you do, tightening his hold on you while his eyes glide from the bounce of your tits that glisten with his spit to down between your bodies.Â
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, grunting when you immediately do as he says by bringing a hand down between where youâre joined. Your fingers spread in a V-shape around where he fucks into you, collecting some of your mixed arousal before using it to rub your clit. âThatâs it, sweetheart, fuck, make yourself come.â
You nod, rapidly feeling everything zeroing in on the fingers that draw tight circles over your clit and that spot deep inside you that Loganâs finding with every thrust. âYeah, fuck, IâmâDonât stop, donât stop, pleaseââ
Heâs coming before you are, tucking his head below your chin to let out a deep, drawn out moan against your neck that ends with his teeth grazing your skin. Itâs so much, the pressure of him grinding himself into you with twitching, barely there thrusts, the heat of his release as it fills you where youâre gripping him like a vice, and as your fingers still twirl between your legs you come, and come, and come.Â
The leg you have wrapped around his hip slips off, but before your toes can even scrape the floor, he catches your thigh, cupping your ass with both hands now to keep you up, and close. With a soft, satisfied sound, you let your forehead fall against Loganâs shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat with every light press of your lips there.
It takes you a moment to notice your back has come off the wall, that Logan is walking the both of you into your living room and to the couch. He bends his knees, dropping you between your pillows, where you land with as much grace as you can muster considering you feel like youâre made of lead. The soft couch is pleasant against your body, your sore limbs sinking into the cushions.Â
Logan fits himself between your legs again, widening them around his broad shoulders before his lips find your overstretched thighs, leaving marks and kisses up up up, until his tongue slips back into your pussy. Your back arches off the couch, hands shooting down to fist his hair with a whine while Loganâs hand fists his cock. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell heâs already getting hard again, and his tongue is making something swirl low in your belly thatâs making you pant, and...
Itâll be a long night.
THE PEARL
It had taken a lot of convincing and downright groveling, but Wade had allowed you to bring a movie for movie night. It wasnât that he didnât trust your taste in movies, his main gripe with your choice was that it wasnât a Christmas movie â mandatory for December. Wadeâs right, but after you explained that itâs the movie you always watch at the end of the year (and after Logan and yourself conceded that yes, his birthday was technically also your anniversary) heâd agreed.Â
Now that youâre actually watching it, you suspect heâs genuinely invested, because after a handful of comments about The Hulk, heâs been quiet for longer than youâve ever heard him be quiet.
In the scene on the screen, Mark Ruffaloâs character Dan and Keira Knightleyâs character Gretta are taking an evening walk around New York City, dancing, singing and sharing music with each other as they do. Eventually, they stop and sit next to each other on some steps, watching as the city continues to move without them.
â...the most banal scenes are suddenly invested with so much meaning, ya know? All these banalities, they're suddenly turned into these⊠these beautiful, effervescent pearls,â Dan says, wistfully looking on as New York bustles around him. âI gotta say, as I've gotten older these pearls are just⊠becoming increasingly more and more rare to me.â
The arm Logan has slung around your shoulder tightens, and the couch creaks softly as you lean further into his side, your cheek squishing against his warm chest.
âMore string than pearls?â Gretta inquires with a frown.
âYeah. You got to travel over a lot more string to get to the pearls.â Thereâs a pause as he turns to look at her, âThis moment is a pearl, Gretta.â
She gives him a hint of a smile. âIt sort of is, isn't it?â
âAll this has been a pearl,â he admits, sharing a look with her.
A finger curls under your chin, tipping your head up until your eyes meet Loganâs. He gives you the same look you just saw on the screen, his eyes soft as they take you in, the hint of green between the hazel illuminated by the light of the television. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip fondly, before he leans down to kiss you.
It takes a lot of string indeed.
Sometimes even interdimensional string.
â â â â â
(THE END)
If you made it all the way here, thanks for reading. Seriously. Please come say hi and/or share your thoughts via ask/messages/reblogs/whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope to share more writing soon - emphasis on hope, I'm not making promises, just an educated wish.
And lastly, if you're struggling with mental health problems, please don't wait for a handsome stranger to sweep you off your feet. I know from experience that it can be incredibly difficult to reach that hand out, but I also know from experience that things can get better. There are ways to get help and you deserve to get help ïżœïżœ
#this was incredible#logan howlett x reader#jess reads#2024 fave fics#fic rec: logan howlett#fic rec: deadpool & wolverine#thinking of queue
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Pls I just thought you postponed answering it then forgot đ but no tumblr just wants to destroy our friendship (hope this one actually gets to you, I'm writing it as a letter and sending it by owl to make sure)
I was just flattered that you called my alias pretty and that it suits me because then, I too would be pretty- shocking!
But anyways, I've been studying for my finals and my god it's taking forever; I've still got 2 more weeks to spend studying and then another to get them over with. But I'm still hanging in there!! Think I'll be dying by the time I actually have to do them though.
And my birthday was a while ago so I've got a cake and flowers and some really nice scented products to keep me hanging in there, and I'm watching gilmore girls for a drop of fun in my life.
That's all I've been getting up to! What about you!!
i could never forget about answering an ask from you :( the owl was the fluffiest ive ever seen thank you for sending her đ
and yes?? why wouldn't you believe you're pretty???? only the prettiest aliases for the prettiest girls đđ
omg finals đđ yeahh i totally get you grrr it's nice to have time to study but at some point you just want to get it over with đ« đ« don't forget to take breaks!!! sending you a million hugs >.<
and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY??? sobsob im so sorry i meant to drop by to wish you but i got super busy over the holidays đ cake and flowers and nicely scented things sound absolutely perfect it's what you deserve !!!! did you have fun celebrating that day!! hope this isnt a crime but.. ive never watched gilmore girls HDJSHAHAH
THANKYOU FOR THE LIFE UPDATE! ive been more busy with irl stuff đ„č i think half my break was spent training hahaha bc we had grading early in dec and then after that we had our training camp! and ive also just been hunting down my friends bc it's so hard to find time to hang out once the sem starts đ„Č but it has been lots of fun spending time with family and friends (old and new hehe) ive also just been playing genshin a lot oops HAHA am hoping to clean up my desk too bc school starts in about a week đ„Č
ANW I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD HOLIDAYS AND THAT YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS AS LOVELY AS YOU!!! ilyily im wishing you only the best this 2023!!
#put the rest under a cut bc my reply got longer than i expected FJSJSHS#ILY THANK YOU FOR STILL TALKING TO ME EVEN WITH HOW LONG I TAKE TO REPLY đ„Č#hope to continue talking to you more this year đ„ș#my elise â#asked & annswered đ§Ą
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yeah i agree with your point about survival mechanics and i feel the same way about the lack of combat mechanics. "why would an educated city doctor need a weapon" because shit is hitting the fan in every way impossible and pretty much everyone is walking around armed... also why am i supposed to believe the the fact that he's a man of intellect will somehow provide him with food? i don't think anyone is going to be too eager to share food during an outbreak intellectual or not...
+ follow up for the previous ask but actually my favorite quest from the original pathologic is the day 11 bachelor quest that involves shooting down soldiers. i think it really drives the point home about how this random fuckass guy who is supposed to be battling a plague doesn't even have the time to do that anymore because the people in charge are asking completely irrelevant things of him now and he's at a position where he cannot refuse what is being asked of him. like i think it was good storytelling that even as the guy who lowkey wants to deal with the plague and solve its mystery you still have other, more pressing, less interesting and or pleasant tasks to complete
i agree! honestly, i feel this way about the combat mechanics even more than i do about the physical survival (food, health, illness, sleep) mechanics. because sure, i can see how it makes sense for daniil's position of authority to mean that his basic needs are somewhat provided for -- although i don't think it makes more sense than what we got in the original game. i've never seen anyone bring up "isn't it kind of unrealistic that the bachelor isn't given lots of food during a massive food shortage?" as a plothole that needed to be resolved. the townspeople generally don't like him much, and most of the people with power don't either, except for the kains. sure, maybe it's kind of weird that you can go see the kains while broke and on the verge of keeling over from hunger, and they won't do anything to help you, but... the kains are pretty self-centered, and they're so goddamn weird that maybe they forget that you need to eat food to live anyway. and it's half-implied that the powers that be are ultimately giving daniil this role as a convenient way to kill him, so it makes sense that they would put no pressure on the town authorities to keep him alive.
(and honestly, artemy is taken under the olgimsky's auspices as much as the kains take daniil's under theirs! which is to say, selfishly, with ulterior motives that are more important to them than the well-being of their healer, but... the olgimskys are set up as the wealthiest of the 3 families financially, as well as the ones with the most access to food, given their control over the meat industry. so if anything it's "weirder" that artemy isn't more materially provided for, though to be clear i don't think there's an actual plothole there either way.)
but anyway, you could handwave it and say that daniil's position of privilege and authority gives him more perks than he got in the original game, but the amount of fighting you have to do to get through town is... kind of an unavoidable physical reality? like you're given so many sidequests that you often wind up walking around town after dark, and that's when the bandits come out. is the idea that the bandits would be too scared to attack him because he's so important? because that doesn't make a lot of sense to me, and even pathologic 2 establishes that he's seen as a valuable target by the bandits:
and then there's the quests where combat plays a more direct role in the story itself, like getting involved in saving andrey from the firing squad, or killing guards to break artemy out of prison, or the quest where you have to kill var in attempt to stop the arsonists (which i include on the same tier as the other ones because i really like the quest journal entry he has if you complete it where he blames himself for willow's death. it's a good character moment.)
hell, even in pathologic 2 itself, one of the biggest Bachelor Moments is on day 11, when you have that big dramatic convo with him after he killed a soldier for the papers he was delivering. plus one of bad grief's idle dialogues in patho 2 is commentary on the bachelor being "quick on the draw" and that he "already shot someone". like he just straight up is not living a combat-free existence. and overall, combat isn't just a good tool from a mechanical perspective, heightening the stakes and placing pressure on the player (though it is), it's also pretty important for him on a thematic level imo, almost as important as artemy and his "rivers of blood". in patho classic, daniil has this early interaction with the inquisitor:
which, thinking about it from a doylist perspective, was probably the writers' attempt to make it sound more plausible that this random medical researcher from the big city was competent with multiple types of guns. and i appreciate them coming up with that hint of backstory to cover their bases a bit, but with those bases covered, i think the fact that daniil ultimately spends more time shooting people than he does prescribing medicines for them actually does a lot for him thematically? i mean, if his whole thing is that he's this "tempted destroyer", someone who frames his career as a combative battle with death rather than a quest to save people's lives, whose "default" solution is to raze the town with artillery because he's too limited by his rationalist worldview and military upbringing (and bitterness over being manipulated and sabotaged) to come up with a solution that saves the any remaining infected survivors on his own. plus the way that clara frames artemy and daniil as two sides of the same coin in being violent destroyers and killers, who without player intervention will immediately devolve to running around chasing each other down in what's either an insanely dedicated tom and jerry LARP or some really elaborate foreplay. imo, that whole dichotomy (which is pretty core to the game, as the idea of dichotomies are core to it in general) works so much better with the way they're both presented in classic, stalking around with gun/scalpel in hand. hell, not to mention the effect that spending 12 in-game days trying not to starve and getting killed by bandits or guards or worms or soldiers every day would have on the player, and the way it would make them feel about the town and their natural projection of those feelings onto dankovsky, who is a perfectly fitting vessel for them as the avatar actually undergoing those virtual experiences.
ultimately i think they are mainly going this direction out of a desire to do something more creative and original, which is fine... it just seems a bit silly to me that they keep saying "well obviously that doesn't really work for the bachelor's scenario", when, well... even as recently as patho 2 in 2019, they seemed to think it fit his narrative pretty well! i'm also guessing that a lack of combat won't be that bandits are just no longer roaming the streets at night. it sounds more like pathologic 3 is set to be more of a nonlinear experience, where you'll probably fast travel from place to place instead of having to walk across town so much? so you'll be avoiding bandits just in the sense that the gameplay will be avoiding them. i guess i'm hoping that at the very least, there's still the implication of the crunch of not getting enough sleep or food and the threat of being stabbed to death while trying to get through town occurring to dankovsky in the background, even if those mechanics are deemphasized in favor of more macro-level town resource management, time control, and sherlock holmes fruit ninja or whatever the hell they were on about back in 2022 lmao.
#pathologic#pathologic 3#i probably sound insane talking about pathologic 3 i'm like pleaaaaase let there still be violence in it đ„ș#and tbf i dont think thats going to be a major lacking area; they're stringing up 12 year olds like party streamers in the fucking trailer!#but even before the trailer came out i was like i think its important that he still has to kill some people honestly...#my other wishlist thing is that i hope there's still moments where he gets btfo'd and it fades to black.#like the moment with the guards in the cemetery when you try to desecrate a grave or with the termitary on day 8#or with the soldiers on day 11 if you try to talk to them about andrey instead of reading a walkthrough and killing them in advance LOL#there's like 1 similar moment in artemy's route (when he gets put in jail) but i think its funny how much more often that happens to daniil#bro keeps getting his ass beat. and i hope it continues#on an upside i guess if they really are removing all combat it might bring a wider audience who hadnt played until now?#like i play plenty of combat-heavy games but a lot of times i get bored of it and a game having none of it is a selling point to me#like when i first heard about disco elysium it was marketed as this really cool game that had no combat and that's half of why i picked up#and tbh technically that wasn't true about disco but yeah...#also thanks for the ask!!!!#patho meta#patho#mine#asks
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I loooveee the way u write nanami đ„șđ„ș was wondering if u could do a mini fic on nanami x reader but when they were in high school :O I feel reader would constantly flirt with him but he stays unbothered until she stops đ”âđ«đ”âđ«đ”âđ« thank uuuu
à±šà§ Ë àŁȘâč HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS â nanami kento
omg thank u so so much, you're very sweet <3 i think i was taking requests when you asked this, so im so so so sorry i took forever to answer :( this isn't exactly what you said but i hope it's close to what you had in mind <3
contents: sfw, high school nanami & reader, mutual pining, silly teenage emotions, fluff, it's not even really romantic but they're best friends that won't admit they have a crush on each other, reader is shorter than him, gn!reader â 1.2k
âyou canât stay mad at me forever, kento.â
your best friend â or so you thought â stayed silent as you walked through the abandoned warehouse, searching for the curses that needed exorcising. so far, theyâd evaded you, just as kento had all of your questions.
he glanced over at you, mouth drawn into its usual line. âi can if i want.â
âoh really?â you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you continued forward, following him through the building. âare you fifteen or five? youâre supposed to be the mature one!â
kento rolled his eyes, but didnât dignify that with a verbal response, letting his blade dangle loosely at his side. an odd sound echoed through the hallways, but it wasnât quite menacing enough to be a curse.
you groaned. âdonât you know everyone will just keep pairing us up on missions until we work this out?â if kento was going to continue to be a pain, you wouldnât allow him the silence he wanted so desperately. heâd been ignoring you for over a week. âhaibaraâs lucky. he gets to go with the second years.â
nanami glanced over his shoulder, raising his eyebrow, before looking ahead once more. âyou mean heâs lucky he gets to go with gojo.â
though you werenât sure if it was supposed to be an insult to you or not, you laughed. âmaybe.â
âyeah,â kento scoffed. âi thought so.â
the tone was flatter than usual, even for someone like kento, and you raised your eyebrows, letting the words settle between you.
âyouâre being so sour. you know, you never even told me what i did wrong. youâre so mad at me, kento, and i donât even really know why.â
kento watched his feet take one step, then another, the opposite ones moving ahead. heâd grown a lot over the summer â a fact youâd somehow only realized. since when had he been that much taller than you?
âiâm not mad,â he finally settled on. a weak argument as to why heâd been ignoring you for the duration of your mission, and the week before.
you frowned, chewing the inside of your mouth. although kento had a kind heart, you knew how nasty he could be to people he didnât like. you didnât want to be one of those on the list. âkento⊠i really am sorry. if iâve done something wrong.â
the tension drained from his shoulders. he sighed. âyou havenât.â
despite wanting to push the issue further, you let it die, deciding to listen to the silence in case of any curses. though, it had been nearly half an hour, and you hadnât found any yet. you were beginning to think that maybe your teacher had led you astray.
âcan i ask you something?â kento, after ten minutes, finally interrupted the quiet again. and though that sort of phrase was never a good sign, you wouldâve taken anything to get him talking to you again.
âof course, kento.â
he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, seeming shy, almost. had it not been so dark, you would have seen the slight tint of pink on his cheeks, that you only assumed was there to begin with.
âwhat is it about gojo that you like so much?â
you blinked. âwhat do you mean?â
âyouâre⊠interested in him, arenât you? like that?â kento shifted awkwardly, holding his body as if it wasnât quite his own. âi mean, i just assumedâŠâ
all over, you great hot, your cheeks burning with embarrassment, a wave of dread heaping onto your stomach. âyou think i have a crush on gojo?â
âdonât you?â
you thought about it for a moment, staring at the ceiling. âi donât know. maybe.â
âmaybe?â kento pinched his eyebrows together. âwhat the hell kind of answer is that? you either do or you donât.â
âi think heâs...â you stumbled over the words, not really sure when youâd started talking to nanami kento about these sorts of things. the words tasted sour in your mouth. âwell, i suppose heâs attractive, isnât he? heâs certainly charming. he makes me laugh.â
âyouâre always flirting with him," kento said skeptically.
you shrugged. "i'm just teasing. if you consider that flirting, then i guess i am."
âhm. you sound like you think youâre supposed to be interested in him, just because heâs gojo.â
that raised a small laugh out of you. âmaybe youâre right. i think i might just be interested in people i know wonât ever like me back.â kentoâs eyes flashed, and before he could say anything, lips parted, you continued. âbut what do i know about anything, anyway? teenagers are supposed to be dumb like that, arenât they?â
kento frowned, brown eyes softer than youâd seen in awhile. âi donât think youâre dumb.â
âthanks.â for some reason, that made you bashful, darting your eyes away as you smiled at the ground. âhave you ever had a crush on anyone, kento?â
he gave you a tiny little smile, poking you in the temple, before repeating your words from earlier. âi donât know. maybe.â
âyouâre so stupid.â
kento laughed, then, a light noise that was more familiar to you than it was to a lot of others. âyou know, if it makes you feel better, i think gojo likes you. really, i do. he thinks youâre pretty. he likes when you laugh at his jokes. geto told us. he talks about you to him all the time.â
and though youâd expected the words to send a wave of glee over you, the sort of silly emotion that came with a teenage crush, you didnât feel excited as you should've. perhaps because satoru had never been the one you wanted.
âgojo just likes to be admired. besides, everyone likes when people laugh at their jokes. that's not special.â you kicked at the floor. âanyway, getoâs probably just telling you all that so youâll tell me and iâll make a fool of myself in front of them. that would really make them laugh.â
kento frowned, contemplative. âi donât think he would do that.â
he wouldnât. it just seemed the only good way to diverge the conversation.
you threw your hands up, expelling a loud sigh. âwell⊠whatever. honestly, it doesn't matter. i donât think i even want a boyfriend.â
kento gawked at you for a moment, lips slightly parted, before he shook his head, another snort of a laugh leaving him. âyouâre so confusing.â
âyou should be relieved. wouldnât you be miserable if i started dating gojo?â you were only teasing him, bumping his shoulder with your own, a playful grin on your face.
but kentoâs voice was gentle when he returned his answer, and the relief was evident on his face. âi would.â
whether you knew it then, or not, that little confession had changed the course of your life. you brushed it off easily, gripping your cursed tool tightly as you turned the corner again.
âhey kento?â
âwhat? the curses are going to sneak up on us ifââ
âyouâre my best friend, by the way. even if i was dating gojo, youâd still be my best friend. youâll always be my best friend.â you stopped him, serious now. âno matter what happens.â
kento smiled softly, barely there at all. he squeezed your hand in return. âi hope so.â
#kento nanami x reader#jjk x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x y/n#kento nanami x you#nanami x reader#jjk x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#xoxo rylie đ à§â ËïœĄâ#xoxo rylie đ â ËïœĄâ
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promise me ice cream! - jeon wonwoo
warnings: slightly insecure wonwoo?
pairings: jeon wonwoo x reader
genre: drunk confessions, friends to ???
wc: 1.3k
a/n: I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve 223 of yall following me but thank you đ„ș
drunken confessions series
check out my masterlist!
your best friend, wonwoo is sprawled on the bed, looking more like a puddle of drunk affection than his usual composed self. he's clinging onto you, he wedges your leg in between his own; hugging it like it was a bolster as his head rests on your lap as if it were a pillow, his arms wrapped around your leg, not wanting to let go as if itâs the only thing keeping him grounded. his gaze is hazy, eyes blinking slowly as he stares up at you, his lips curving into a drunken smile, âyou're so pretty.â he says as you chuckle while you run your hands through his hair; messaging his head a little to relieve the potential headache.
âwhy'd you drink so much tonight?â you asked, âits not like you, you're not usually like this.â wonwoo lets out a deep sigh at your question, âyou were talking to jun all night andâŠi dont know, i just didn't like it. i got jealous. it's likeâŠyouâll never pick me.â he says with a pout, eyes closing shut. âjealous? of jun?â you frown, trying to make sense of his words. if only he knew, âdon't be silly, you know i talk to jun all the time but you'll always be my best friend. there's nothing to be jealous about.â you reassured. â& iâll always pick you.â
âyou're breaking my heart.â wonwoo mumbles so soft, you almost would have missed it if it weren't for a drunk wonwoo clinging onto you for dear life, heightening all your senses & leaving your heart beating so fast. âwhat do you mean, wonwoo?âÂ
"youâre my favorite person," he says, his voice soft and slow, like heâs trying to convince himself of something. "i donât know if iâll ever be your favorite, but... you're my favorite." his hand gently strokes the inside of your thigh, sending shiver down your spine. his fingers light against your skin as if heâs trying to memorize the feeling of being this close.
you smile as you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. youâre a little amused yet also, a little taken aback by the way heâs acting; he's never been like this. you gently run your fingers through his hair, trying to coax him to sleep even though you're sure heâs already half asleep. & maybe you're also just taking advantage of the situation and being a little selfish; having him like this.
"iâm just me," he continues, voice drowsy and laced with alcohol. "iâm just wonwoo, you know? just regular, plain ol' wonwoo. but you're... you're perfect. sparkly. i donât even know why you ever looked my way years ago, let alone be friends with me.â
you laugh softly, but itâs mixed with a hint of sadness, wondering how he could ever think that about himself. "youâre not just wonwoo, you know that, right? youâre more than that."
wonwoo shakes his head, but his grip on your leg tightens. "no, no, no. iâm just me. iâm just wonwoo, and youâre... youâre so pretty and you're so kind. you're such a good person...so much better than I'll ever be. that's why you would never like someone like me."
his words sting more than they should, but you can tell he's too drunk to mean them fully, right? that's what you hoped for at least. you want to tell him how wrong he is, how much you care for him, but instead, you sit in the quiet, letting him speak his mind as he clings onto you, his drunken ramblings the only thing filling the space between you two.
after a moment, he sits up a little, his gaze suddenly lighting up with a burst of energy. "ice cream," he says, as if itâs the most important thing in the world right now. "we should go on an ice cream date. right now. letâs go."
you glance at him, blinking in surprise at the sudden contrast. itâs already past 4AM and heâs drunk, this is not the time for an ice cream run date. "wonwoo," you say softly, trying to get him to focus. "itâs really late. weâre not going for ice cream right now, okay?"
he looks up at you with wide, sad, hopeful eyes, and you canât help but find it endearing, even if itâs a little ridiculous. "why not?" he asks, his pout deepening, and his grip on your leg tightening again as he drags himself impossibly closer to you. "i want to go on an ice cream date with you, please?âÂ
you laugh, though it's full of affection and fondness. "wonwoo, youâre drunk & itâs really late. weâre not going anywhere. you canât go out for ice cream right now, I don't think you can even walk straight, did you forget how I had to haul you back here?"
he pouts even harder, his lower lip trembling slightly & he almost look as if heâs about to start crying any time as he sits back and crosses his arms, looking like a grumpy child. "but i want ice cream. now. iâm hungry."
you canât help but smile at his stubbornness. "weâll go tomorrow, okay?" you promise. "iâll take you out on an ice cream date tomorrow. I'll even let you pick all the flavours you want, even if its 5 of them."
wonwoo tilts his head to the side, staring at you with a suspicious frown. "tomorrow? donât lieâŠiâm only asking you now because⊠this is a dream, you wouldnt reject me in my dream, would you?" he asks, his voice filled with doubt. "because i know you wonât really take me for ice cream tomorrow when I wake up. you donât like me like that. youâre just humoring me."
"wonwoo, i promise, tomorrow, weâll get ice cream," you reassure him, your voice gentle and warm as you stroke his hair again, trying to comfort him.
but wonwoo still looks disappointed and doubtful, his shoulders slump. "tomorrow will never come. this is all a dream. youâll wake up, and iâll be... iâll be just me. plain wonwoo. i wonât be good enough for you. you will never pick me.â
your heart aches at the way heâs talking. he doesnât believe that you like him, doesnât believe in this moment, in the promise of tomorrow. "wonwoo, iâm not going anywhere," you say, taking his hand in yours. "i'll be right here when you open your eyes when the sun rises & i'll tell you all the reasons why you're more than enough. i really do like you, I love you, and tomorrow, weâll get ice cream. i promise."
he looks down at your hand, still not fully convinced. "promise?" he asks, his voice small and fragile.
"promise," you say firmly, hands finding his as you lock your pinky around his.
wonwoo hesitates for a moment, then sighs, his expression softening. "okay...okay," he murmurs, closing his eyes as he rests his head back on your lap, your hands instinctively go back to playing with his hair, he's completely content now. "ice cream date tomorrow. iâll wait for tomorrow...even if it doesn't happen it's okay..at least im laying on your lap nowâŠat least youâre playing with my hair nowâŠat least now i know what it's like to hear you say you like me too.â
you smile, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, watching him drift off to sleep in your lap. even though heâs drunk and unsure, you know he believes you somewhere deep down. & tomorrow, youâll take him for ice cream, just like you promised. and maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, heâll realize how much you really do care about him, & how much you really do love him.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo seventeen#seventeen wonwoo#jeon wonwoo fluff#jeon wonwoo angst#jeon wonwoo imagines#jeon wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo x you#wonwoo#jeon wonwoo x reader
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On our own terms
Nicholas Alexander Chavez x black!famous!reader
Description: After going official, some time has passed in Nicholasâ and (y/n)âs relationship and a continuation of part three.
Warnings: none
quick note: itâs been like a year since they went official.
Parts: one two three FOUR five
masterlist
âââ
(y/n)
tagged: nicholasalexanderchavez
Liked by nicholasalexanderchavez, vogue, and 2,789,218 others
(Y/n) i canât wait to see what the future has in store for us. Four years down and forever to go đ€
sofcruz yay! My favorite couple! đ©ââ€ïžâđâđš
user1 you were dating secretly for THREE YEARS?!
> (y/n) đ€
sofcruz if there are no more (y/n) and Nick shippers Cooper and I are dead
> liked by cooperkoch, nicholasalexanderchavez, and (y/n)
> cooperkoch SO TRUE
> (y/n) ILY both
nickand(y/n) OMG HUSBAND?! I would secure that bag immediately too
(y/n)ismother HUSBAND? I apologize Mr. Chavez, I was unfamiliar with your game đ€đ
nicholasalexanderchavez GUYS MY WIFE IS UNREAL đŁïžđ„”đđ„
nicholasalexanderchavez how is she so perfect?!
nicholasalexanderchavez literally in awe of you, love of my life
chavezsightings AHHH you mean now I get an excuse to officially officially merge my two pages?! SAY LESS
nicchavezismine ewww heâll wake up one day and realize heâs settled
> nicholasalexanderchavez definitely not đđ hope this helps
> user1 LMAOOO love a sassy man from infinity to infinity
> goddess(y/n) somebody check on her đđđ
user2 sometimes I still think about them having fan pages for each other đ„ș
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nicholasalexanderchavez
Tagged: (y/n)
Liked by (y/n), zendaya, cooperkoch, and 2,113,213 others
nicholasalexanderchavez I donât know if there are enough words to fully be able to tell you how much I love you, my beautiful wife. đ€
(Y/n)ismother i love love đ„č
cooperkoch (y/n) you are now my favorite Chavez. Love you! đ
> nicholasalexanderchavez RUDE
> cooperkoch you know itâs true
> (y/n) awww Coop đ„ș thatâs so sweet love you
User1 this couple is single-handedly making my little cynical heart believe in love again
no1nacsupporter congrats! The way you love each other should be written into history đ„ș theyâre so cute
zendaya congrats (y/n/n) and Nick! I donât think Iâve ever seen you both happier
> (y/n) thank you Z đ«¶đœâš
user2 getting married on your dating anniversary is so cute
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chavezsightings
tagged: nicholasalexanderchavez & (y/n)
Liked by (y/n), nicholasalexanderchavez, goddess(y/n) and 500 others
chavezsightings theyâre so cute together. đ„șđ
These pics were sent in by a couple of fans that saw them yesterday. They went on their honeymoon a couple of days ago. The fans wrote and I quote:
âTheyâre literally so sweet. We didnât want to interrupt them but they waved at us and started talking to us so we took a pic together and then left them alone. Iâm not going to post the pic bc I look like trash but I love them together <3â
âMy friend and I honestly couldnât believe it when we saw them at the same restaurant we were at. They were so nice and it was amazing to talk to them and congratulate them on their marriage and newest projects. Theyâre so supportive of each other and the way they look at each other is literally out of a romcom. Theyâre definitely soulmates.â
(y/n)andnick would it be weird to say that I canât wait to see their kids?
> user1 yes and no? Kinda? Idk but i get it girl
user2 OMG THEY LIKED
goddess(y/n) Itâs so nice seeing them together. They look so happy.
user3 WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN
sofcruz theyâre so cute itâs actually sickening
> user4 OMG HI SOF
> sofcruz lol I told you i was their biggest shipper
> cooperkoch đ§ââïž
> sofcruz âŠone of their biggest shippers
> cooperkoch better
user5 i want to meet them đ„č
nicchavezismine heâd look better with me instead of that ugly bimbo
> user6 lol youâre still around after he checked you on his own page?
> user7 seek help loser
> user8 deactivate quickly đ
> user9 heâs literally marriedâŠto a supermodel. I can assure you that you have no chance.
no1nacsupporter omg the first pic was from me! They were so sweet. Heâs so protective and supportive of her đ„ș so excited for their married era!
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taglist: [comment or dm to be added!]
@hockeyboysarehot @jukeboxsweethearttt
#black!reader#nicholas alexander chavez#poc reader#nicholas chavez x poc reader#nicholas chavez x black!reader#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez#on our own terms smau#vinylmango#nicholas chavez imagine
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Hello, author-san! How are you? Could I please request some angst for the poly!marauders, where R is someone full of tattoos or piercings but is smart, a sweetheart, golden retriever coded, and Lily is their friend. Lily knows about their infatuation with the boys. Being a great friend, Lily wants to set them up, but they're a bit uncertain about R because of their tattoos. Then one night, R overhears them talking in the common room with Lily and voices out their opinions regarding R, causing R to become insecure and try to hide it. You can continue however you like! Angst with a happy ending if it's okay! đ„ș
Thank you, author-san!
đđ»
Thanks for requesting sweetheart! Sorry it took so long, hope this is okay! gn!reader x poly!marauders, pre-relationship
cw: prejudice associated with tattoos and piercings, swearing, angst to happy ending
1.8k words (oopsie)
It was like you could hear their words on repeat as you raced up the stairs. What hurt the most is that you knew that some people would judge, but you hadnât expected it from them.Â
âI just donât know about 'em, Lils.â James winced. âLike they seem nice, but you know about people who choose to look at thatâŠâ He trailed off.Â
âIâm sure theyâre not all bad.â Sirius cut in, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. âBut Prongs does have a point.â
âItâs just the impulsivity of it all.â Remus reasoned. âLike if youâre making rash choices like that, what else would you do.âÂ
That was when you left your hiding spot in the stairs and ran back to your dorm. You could hear Lilyâs âIâm so fucking done with you being stupidâ voice as you trailed away, making you smile at the knowledge that you had such a good friend.Â
But you had heard enough. They had clearly made their minds up about you. Besides, you knew your appearance was an⊠acquired taste, to say the least, and you couldnât expect them to be with someone they werenât attracted to. You didnât think you looked that odd, but maybe your perception was skewed. No matter whose perception was more accurate, they clearly didnât particularly like you, and it was probably best to keep your distance for now, at least until they really got to know you.Â
You knew that your appearance didnât really match your personality. People often assumed you were rude, a slacker, confrontational, or even hateful. But the opposite was true in fact. You always made good marks, you were friends with loads of people, always trying to be as open as possible. And yeah, some people were intimidated at first, but they usually warmed up very quickly.Â
Apparently those three, the three you wanted the approval of the most, had not been as warm about you as you thought.Â
You crawled into bed and curled into yourself, trying to get a few hours of sleep before breakfast.Â
James yawned loudly, blinking his eyes rapidly to get rid of the sleepy, fuzzy film coating them. Him and his boyfriends had been up all night, getting lectured literally until the sun came up.Â
He had to admit, it was for the best. All three boys had gone to bed, feeling thoroughly corrected. Even slipping into shame.Â
âWhat the hell is wrong with you three?â Lily whisper-yelled. âJames, you are the LAST person to say anything about appearances. Remember when I had to go around convincing people you hadnât become mean after your growth spurt in fourth year? Just because you were big and scary and you hadnât realized how you were coming across?â She scolded, before turning her head to the mouse-haired boy sitting by the fire. âAnd you,â She seethed. âYou have no clue if her choices were ârashâ or not. Iâve heard plenty of rumors about your appearance, people saying similar things about you. About your âaggressionâ just because they donât know whatâs going on with you.â She snapped her head over to Sirius, her fiery hair flipping around from the movement. âAnd Sirius, youâre just overcompensating because youâre jealous! Youâre not fooling anyone, you would look like that in an instant if you could. Youâre just too scared to do it.â
Sirius played with his thumbs, not able to dispute the accusations. None of the boys could actually. Lily could tell, she was satisfied with her work.Â
âI love you three buggers,â She pressed a friendly kiss to each of their cheeks as she stormed upstairs. âYou just need to stop being such idiots.âÂ
Sirius didnât think anyone could change personalities that fast, but it seemed all three boys had woken up different people. That morning they had all just nodded to each other, acknowledging that their opinions were very different than they had been 24 hours ago and all walked shamefacedly down to breakfast. Sirius kept pushing his eggs around his plate, too busy staring at you to take a bite. You looked a lot different today. Your hair was ruffled in front of your face, hiding the metal glinting on your nose and eyebrow. You also had long sleeves and pants on, covering the ink detailing your skin. You still hadnât waved at them, or even acknowledged the boysâ existence. Usually, you would be bouncing over to them, talking about the weather or whatever was on your mind at the moment. Sirius missed it if he was honest with himself. He was disappointed, he had been excited to show you his outfit. He crafted it with you in mind, teasing his hair up extra and being a bit more outlandish with his top, even stealing Marleneâs varnish to paint his nails.Â
Remus missed your interest in the latest book he had read. You always had so many interesting questions and you listened so intently. He missed how you played with the hoop in your septum as you nodded along to his plot summaries. You were always so patient and careful, it made his heart crack.Â
James was equally distraught. He had always prided himself on being open and friends with everyone, and he had considered you his friend, which just made him feel worse. He knew that stereotyping people never led to anything good, especially when someone's personality was completely ignored and replaced with caricature. Yes, you did look intimidating, but he actually liked it. It accentuated how soft your personality actually was. You were like a big dog that everyone was terrified of, but in reality was scared of butterflies and just wanted to love everyone. He laughed sadly, catching the other two boys' attention as he stared longingly at you. All he wanted to do was go over there, but you were completely ignoring them, so he figured it was best to just not bother you and continue on with his breakfast.Â
You were being equally as forlorn, continually sneaking glances over at the boys. They looked quiet and tired, but no less handsome. You felt sick, moving to leave your breakfast and all but run to the library. You needed to study anyway, you had become so infatuated that you were ignoring your classes. You had barely made it down the corridor before you heard three sets of panicked footsteps, quickly catching up to you. You tried to walk faster, but unfortunately Remus had very long legs and he briskly made it in front of you, trapping you in. He was looking flushed, amber eyes focusing on you way too much for comfort.Â
âY/N,â He sounded out of breath. You fixed your face down and back, away from their gaze. You stopping had allowed the other two the opportunity to catch up, and soon you were face-to-face with all three of the people who apparently disliked you, but to your dismay, you were still completely attached to.Â
âYou guys okay?â You asked, as kindly as ever but far quieter than they were used to.Â
âWeâre fine, lovely.â James said, confused. âAre you okay?â
âIâm good.â You muttered, shifting your feet.Â
âBabe,â Sirius scoffed. Your heart jumped at the honorific, but you quickly scolded yourself. Sirius just called everyone that. You had heard what he, what all three of them had said last night. âYou ran from there like bat outtaâ hell.â He said like you were being ridiculous.
âAnd you havenât spoken to us all day.â Remus cut in before you could respond.Â
âItâs only seven.â You mumbled.
âStill odd.â James quipped, moving ever so slightly closer to you. âYouâre not okay.â He said, with enough finality that you gave up the act all together. They really werenât going to make this easy on you. They said all those things last night, but they were still going to put you through the misery of having to listen to them say all those things directly to you.Â
You sighed dejectedly, starting to pick your nails. âLook okay,â You tore the words from the back of your throat. âI know that you donât like me or donât think Iâm nice or whatever. You donât have to talk to me, itâs okay.â You did your best to give them a reassuring smile, even managing for water to stay out of your eyes, but their expressions didnât make it easy. Sirius cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose, James looked like a kicked puppy, and Remus was hiding his eyes from you. You started to walk away, but you were blocked in.
âShit, you heard last night?â Sirius winced. You nodded painfully, looking back down at your shoes. The silent tension was so thick you felt it suffocating you. James was the first to do anything, wordlessly striding over to pull you into a bone-crushing hug. You stumbled from the shock, easing into him accidentally, but you made no moves to tense away. You limply wrapped your arms around his waist.Â
âIâm so sorry, angel.â He said, panicked. âI was so stupid, I- I never shouldâve said it I donât know what I was even thinking.â He pulled you tighter to him, enough that you were worried of your feet leaving the ground.Â
âIâm sorry too.â Sirius said, much more morosely than usual. âNever shouldâve said those things, and you never should've heard it either.âÂ
âWeâre all sorry.â Remus said firmly. âWe all know better, we shouldâve known not to think that way. Itâs awfully closed-minded. Youâre our friend, we shouldâve acted like it.âÂ
âItâs okay.â You squeezed out.Â
âNo.â Sirius said sharply. âItâs not okay. I donât know if you heard what Lily said back, but she pointed out a lot of things, and I can promise that we donât think that way anymore.âÂ
âPlease, please forgive us, baby. We were so wrong. Youâre so kind and smart and funny and gorgeous an-â James was rambling on and on.Â
âJamie, itâs okay. I know youâre sorry.â You giggled at his panicked tone. âCan you uh- youâre kinda crushing me.âÂ
âShit! Sorry.â He released you quickly, but not before slicking your hair out of your face. You just laughed, feeling ten times lighter.Â
âWeâre okay.â You reassured. âI forgive you all, it hurt, but it seems like you are all beating yourselves up enough.â
âJusâ feel bad.â Remus grabbed you unexpectedly, tugging you into his arms. He wasnât squeezing you like James, but rather greedily absorbing your touch. This felt like a big deal, you almost never saw Remus hold anyone.Â
âDonât feel bad.â You pleaded. âEverythingâs fine now.â You rubbed his back in a way you hoped was soothing. You felt him relax in your arms.Â
âOkay stop hogging them.â Sirius tugged Remus out of the way, making him grunt in dissatisfaction. (You pretended to not notice the sneaky kiss Sirius pressed to the taller boyâs knuckles.) âItâs my turn.â He grabbed you with loving aggression.Â
âI wasnât hogging.â Remus quipped.Â
âYeah, you were.â Sirius sassed. âBesides, I was the biggest idiot. I need to give the biggest cwtch.â His reasoning was flawed, but you settled into him nonetheless.Â
#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders angst#marauders#marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders#drabble#marauders fandom#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#marauders era#the marauders#the maruaders#the marauders era#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#oneshot#angst#angst with a happy ending#anon ask#anon request
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đœđđĄđđŁđđ đđȘđ© · đđâžâ¶
summary: Trevor isnât a fan of how Jackâs changed for his girlfriend.
warnings: use of y/n, kind of angsty, more fluffy, trevor being kind of a bitter friend,
word count: 1.1k
authors note: i really liked the request prompt but i struggled to write it. to the anon who requested it i hope it doesnât let you down đ„ș
ïżŒ
Y/nâs laughter echoed through the restaurant, a melody that seemed to seep deep into Jack's soul. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her throw her head back, revealing the small, delicate spot on her neck where he knew her pulse would be racing. He knew if he placed his lips to it just how the noise she would make would sound. Her hair, usually pulled back into a tidy bun, had come loose and now framed her face in a halo of curls. It may have been two years since they started dating, but Jack still found himself completely and utterly captivated by her.
As they finished their dinner, Trevor nudged Jack and motioned for him to follow him to the bathroom. "Look," Trevor whispered, "I know you love her and all, but she's holding you back, man. You need to live a little, go out with all of us, have some fun." Jack sighed, feeling torn. He knew that Trevor was his best friend, but he also knew how important y/n was to him. He didn't want to lose her, no he couldnât lose her, but he didn't want to miss out on all the adventures he could still be having with his friends.
"Why don't you come out with us anymore?" Trevor asked bluntly. "You used to be the life of the party. Now you're just...different." Jack hung his head, unsure how to respond. "I just want you to be happy, man. I really think you're making a mistake by staying with her." Trevor opened the bathroom door and walked back towards the tables. It was purely happen chance he was even here and Jack was too. Trevor on a date while Jack was on one too.
The two boys returned to their respective tables, Jack couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in tightly churning in his gut. Trevor was on to something; he did miss going out with all their friends and having their crazy adventures. But y/n was everything to him. She made him feel loved in ways he had never experienced and supported him in everything he did. It may have only been two years, but Jack couldn't imagine his life without her now. He knew he couldn't continue like this, though. Something had to give.
That night after dinner, as the two walked hand in hand through the park, Jack managed to gather up the courage to confront his new worries with y/n. "Hey, there's something I want to talk to you about," he said, his voice barely registering over the children still playing on the playground. Y/n stopped and turned to face him, her eyes instantly filled with concern. "What's wrong, Jack?"
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I love you, y/n. I love you so much. You know that. But I feel like I'm missing out on a lot with my friends. I want to be able to spend time with them like I used to." He looked down at his girlfriend who drew in and chewed on her lower lip, clearly being hurt by his words.
"Jackie, I thought we had talked about this.. I thought you trusted me enough to know that I would never stand in the way of your friendships?. If anything, I want you to have them in your life more. You are my life, today, tomorrow, hopefully next week and further, but I want you to have a life outside of me too. I love you more than you probably think I do, but that doesnât mean we always have to be together.â Y/n told the sweet boy standing before her. He was awestruck while she was speaking.
He looked at her, his eyes searching hers for any hint of deception. An action he instantly felt guilty for. He shouldâve never let his friends inside his head. Seeing nothing but sincerity, he exhaled slowly.
"I guess I just... I just need to find a balance, huh?" She nodded, wrapping her arms around him. "I'll always be here for you, jackie. And I want you to know that I understand. We'll figure this out together."
The next weekend, Jack and y/n arranged a "double date night" with Trevor and his newest girl. The four of them went to one of the local art galleries, something y/n loved to do, afterwards they went to a cozy Italian restaurant for dinner.
As they walked side by side, Jack was overcome with a sense of excitement and anticipation. Both had been building within him since the plans were made. For the first time since meeting y/n, he felt like he was truly experiencing something elating again.
The entirety of the night was filled with wholesome laughter and conversations about everything and anything, as both couples shared stories and experiences, and found common ground in their shared love for art and food. Y/n and Trevor even managed to strike up a conversation about their favorite artists and sport teams, which surprised Jack and made him smile. He had never really thought of his best friend and y/n having much in common, but it seemed like tonight was proving him wrong.
âSeems you picked a good one Rowdy.â Trevor snickered referring to y/n. âIâm glad you changed your mind about her Zegras. But I didnât just pick a good one, I picked the best one. At least for me.â Jack was smitten with her and Trevor fake gagged. Earning himself a laugh from all of them.
While they finished their meals and sipped on their respective drinks, the atmosphere in the restaurant shifted ever so slightly. The lights were dimmed, and a soft, romantic medley filled the room. Jack caught y/n glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, an expanse flush of warmth spread through his chest.
In that moment, Jack realized that this was exactly what he needed: a balance between his relationship with her and his friendship. He didn't have to choose between them anymore.
As the music continued, Trevor and his date excused themselves to the dance floor, leaving Jack and y/n with a moment to themselves. She smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling practically screaming out her love for him and Jack himself was flooded with a rush of his affection for her.
He leaned down, gently brushing his lips against hers, whispering a quick intimate âi love youâ. He placed another kiss on her lips, meant to be soft and innocent but as their kiss deepened, the warm, content feeling of love and happiness spread throughout both of them.
The rest of the night flew by in a blur of conversation, laughter, and dancing. They all truly seemed to enjoy each other's company, and Jack couldn't help but feel grateful for this unexpected gift. As the night drew to a close, they agreed to get together again in the coming weeks. Trevor and Jack said their goodbyes before everyone went their separate ways.
âY/n?â Jack called out softly from beside her. She glanced up at him, as if to ask him âwhat?â âThank you for tonight. I really appreciate what youâve done for me. For us.â She squeezed his hand and smiled up at him. âI love you, I donât know how I got so lucky to have you but I hope I keep staying lucky.â Jack brought her hand up to his lips placing a quick kiss to the top of it.
#trevor zegras#jack hughes#jack hughes fic#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x you#nj devils fics#nj devils fluff#cay writes#requestsđ#nhl writing#writblr#hockey fics#platonic!trevor zegras#nhl#hockey fic
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Please pls pls write for Eddie Diazđ„ș
Sleepover
Eddie Diaz x reader
summary You're on the way to pick up your son, Liam, but it's hard to get him to go home when he's begging to sleepover at his new friends house. Turns out you don't mind as much when you met said kid and his dad.
word count 995
tags fluff, reader simping over Eddie, kind of open ending
a/n I got this idea randomly so I hope you like this <3
part two
masterlist
âLiam!â You call out when you spot your eight year old son busy playing with another kid. Usually whenever he heard you he'd come running; with every year he turns older you expect his clinging to reduce but it never does. Not like you mind, he may be eight now but he's still your baby.
But today he just glances and waves before continuing to giggle and talk with his new friend.
You're surprised as he usually never stuck with one kid, most of the time he'd even stay by himself. It worried you, even when you figured he just preferred to be by himself and did it by choice and not because he was left out.
One of the teachers at the side shrugs with a smile after seeing Liam and his new friend.
You approach them and put a hand on Liams back before bending down and kissing the top of his head. âHey, buddy. Did you make a new friend?â
He grins and nods eagerly, âChris! We've been playing all day. He's my best friend!â You chuckle at the eager introduction and wave at Chris, who looked almost shy if not for the cute grin.
âWell in that case, it's nice to meet you, Chris.â He politely holds out his hand, âIt's nice to meet you too, ma'am.â He says quietly and slowly. You melt on the spot and gently shake his hand.
Your son stands up quick enough to knock the top of his head into your chin, leaving you to grunt in pain as he excitedly bounces in his spot. âI have to sleepover at Chris' house!â
Your eyebrows raise as the two boys continue making plans about tonight. You don't want to be the killjoy but for one you had never met the other parents nor had they met you. Otherwise you would've easily agreed; you were just happy Liam had finally made a friend.
âAlright, boys, I'm afraid this won't work out⊠We don't even know if Chris parents are going to agree,â you say and pointedly look at your son who's about to pout (you couldn't resist him and you would not let him make you feel bad about making a reasonable decision).
âMy dad will say yes. He always says yes.â Chris says seriously and pushes his glasses up with his index. You smile as both of them look at you with equally big, pleading eyes.
âI will say yes to what?â
You almost give yourself whiplash with how fast you turn around because whose voice is that sexy? You'd never heard anyone talking that attractive.
And surely when you look at him you basically faint. Brown hair that seemed to be a grown out buzz cut, brown eyes and white teeth with a grin that makes your heart actually stop for a second.
âSleepover!â Liam yells and then turns shy when the man looks at him with a smile that should be illegal to look that good. âA sleepover? That sounds exciting.â He gets even more attractive in your eyes when he leans over and kisses Chrisâ head in greeting. So he was great with kids too? Wow.
He then fixes his gaze on you and you do everything in your power not to fluster as he rakes his eyes over you and back up to look right into yours. âHey, I'm Eddie. Chris is my son.â He extends his hand and you shake it before remembering to introduce yourself as well.
He smiles at you through it and if it wasn't for Liam gently clinging to your hand as he and Chris watch you and Eddie talk you'd have actually lost it.
âSo these two want to have a sleepover?â The boys both yell in agreement and you laugh, shushing your son a bit. Eddie looks at you with a questioning look and you shrug your shoulders. He had something trustful about him and with the way he acted with both the kids he already checked a few boxes.
But still, this was your son and you wouldn't leave him overnight with - practically - a stranger.
âMy dad is a firefighter, he will protect us.â Chris mentions and you look at Eddie in surprise. He chuckles a bit bashfully but nods, âI'm with the 118.â You hum in recognition, âI work at the dispatch center.â He looks surprised now and you chuckle as he comments, âThat's a coincidence.â
After that conversation flows easy and after probably fifteen minutes is Liam who pulls your sleeve with an impatient pout. You coo and pick him up with ease, letting him wrap his arms around your neck as he sleepily rests against you.
âChris is clingy too, I feel like I shouldn't be indulging him so much, butâŠâ Eddie starts and you see him ruffling Chrisâ hair with a fond look as the boy looks at his dad with pure adoration.
âIt's hard to resist. Yeah, same here.â You hum and both of you laugh a bit.
The teacher takes note of both the kids being picked up and you start walking to the parking lot after getting the backpacks. Chris is on crutches you note and slow your steps for him to comfortably keep up.
âSleepover?â Liam asks again after - you were quite sure - a nap. Eddie tilts his head and looks at you, giving you the chance to decide.
Wow. So far he's more than just a green flag.
âHow about we do a few meet ups first?â You suggest and both boys groan but ultimately agree.
Eddie nods and after letting Chris into the car he turns back to you and holds out his phone with a small smile, âJust so we can, you know, organize their play dates.â
Your heart actually stops for a second before resuming twice as fast and you take his phone to put your contact in.
âI'll see you around.â You smile and wave, Eddie grinning too as he waves and gets in the car.
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thirteen crows: chapter one
summary: buck and eddie come visit you at work, then offer to walk you home.
word count: 2.8k
series masterlist (with a better summary lol)
a/n: yay new series!! i hope you like itđ„șđ„ș this chapter is kinda boring since itâs mostly world building but i promise itâll get better. enjoy<33
warnings: mentions of violence (nothing graphic), slight stalker behaviour??, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
You flinch when a group of men start to cheer loudly across the bar, beer spilling on the already sticky floor and their chairs screeching across the floor as they stand up abruptly to celebrate their team scoring a touchdown. You roll your eyes as you continue with your work, wiping the counter down and moving empty glasses to the dishwasher.Â
Thereâs always a group of men here for football nights, as the bar you work at has special deals for those that show up in sports jerseys. Youâd think that by now, youâd be used to their yelling, but even after two long years, it still manages to surprise you every now and then. The incidents happening across the city donât help with your jumpiness, but you donât have another choice than to continue to work.
You tend to get good tips on football nights, anyway. You and all the girls you work with decided to buy cheap football jerseys to wear on those nights, which for some reason, men love to see. Tonight, youâve used a hair elastic to secure the jersey around your waist, which helps accentuate your curves, and paired it with a short, black mini skirt and sheer black tights. Your outfit has proven to work to get tips, which makes you laugh to yourself. Men are extremely easy to please, and you almost feel bad taking their money. Almost.Â
There arenât many other customers apart from the group of men tonight, and youâre grateful. Youâve had to do most of your tasks yourself tonight, and all that youâve had to get for customers since youâve gotten to work is beer. Youâre about to go to the back to quickly unload the dishwasher when the front door opens.
A smile erupts on your face as two of your regulars make their way into the bar, their conversation dying down immediately and their eyes moving to you. They act surprised to see you there, as if they donât know your work schedule, greeting you warmly once theyâre close enough to the bar for you to hear them over the game blaring from the tv.Â
They sit down on the barstools in front of you and you donât even wait for them to order before you start pouring their drinks. You have quite a few regulars, and while you donât remember most of their usual orders, you canât help but remember theirs.
You met them almost a year ago, you think, and theyâre always extremely nice to you, even more so than any of your other coworkers. If that wasnât enough, they also always tip you extremely well. The first time they did it, they left you a $20 tip on their $35 bill, and you chased them out the door when you realized, assuming they had meant to give you a $5 or a $10 bill. When you caught up to them outside the bar, however, they reassured you that they meant to give it to you. That you deserved it.Â
They left you under the dim light of the bar sign flashing âThirteen Crows,â slightly dumbfounded as you watched them smile at each other as they walked away. It was impossible to not like them after that. Youâre pretty sure even if they were assholes to you, their tips would let you put up with it.
âYou closing again tonight?â Eddie asks you a little while later. Youâve been talking to them since they got here, like usual, and youâve gotten so used to their company that you even hang out with them when youâre off the clock. Theyâve become good friends, and it barely feels like youâre working when theyâre here to keep you company.
You hum softly as you nod, giving them an absentminded smile. They frown, looking between each other with a mischievous look. You donât notice however, as your eyes move down to your hands cleaning the bar mat right after you nod. You also donât notice that both of their eyes travel down the parts of your body they could see over the high counter, drinking in your soft curves.
âArenât you scared? With the killings, and stuff.â Buck speaks, giving you a concerned look as he leans his elbows onto the counter. To be honest, you are a little nervous about being here with whatâs been going on lately. For the last three or four months, people have been showing up dead around LA; stabbed to death. It has you on edge, obviously, but you donât have any other choice. The Thirteen Crows isnât in the best part of town, and since you donât have a car, you donât have any other choice than to walk fifteen minutes back to your shitty apartment thatâs not near far enough away from the more dangerous part of town.
Your manager tried to help out with the nervousness you and your coworkers were feeling and started scheduling two people to close each night, but your coworker called in sick tonight, and no one could cover him.
âI gotta pay rent somehow. And we usually close with another person anyway.â you tell them with a shrug, waving their concerns off. You know theyâre looking out for you, and itâs sweet, but you donât want them to worry. You can take care of yourself.
âWhoâs closing with you, then? Tara or Grace?â Eddie asks, looking around the bar. Neither of them had seen anyone else since theyâve been here. You shake your head with a silent laugh. You find it a little funny that they know most people here by name, and even more funny that they even know who you usually close with.
âIt was supposed to be Isaac, but he called in. No one can come in to cover him. So, itâs just me tonight.â Isaac is a newer server, having started a month or two ago, and usually works during the day, which is why Buck and Eddie havenât seen much of him. While he doesnât work as much as you, Tara, or Grace, heâs become a really good friend to you.
âAre you gonna be alright going home by yourself? This isnât exactly a safe part of town either way.â Buck asks, brows furrowed as his eyes trail down your figure again. A soft, sweet thing like you? Youâre practically wearing a sign that says âeasy target.â He doesnât want to see anyone try to take advantage of you, but, thereâs a part of him that would love to see you helpless and teary-eyed, begging for mercy.
âIâm sure Iâll be fine. You only need to worry if you donât see me the next time you come in here.â you try to joke. An absentminded smile appears on Eddieâs face as his eyes seem to stare at your chest, although unfocused, while Buck continues to frown. You purse your lips when you realize that they donât find your joke even remotely funny, and you sigh, rolling your eyes. âWhat, you wanna stay and walk me home?â you ask with a raised brow.
âWe can. If you want.â Eddie tells you earnestly, his eyes coming back into focus and darting up to meet your gaze. Anything to keep you with them longer. Anything to see the fear in your eyes at every bump in the night up close. Theyâre both thinking about how it would feel to see you scared and cowering in fear as you walk home, but neither of them show it. They continue to show you concern for your safety, their eyes trying to insist on walking you home.
âYou really donât have to do that. I promise, Iâll be fine. Itâs not a long walk.â you tell Eddie as your eyes move between the two of them. They both sigh, nodding at you, seemingly defeated.Â
Once you turn to clean up behind the bar a little bit, putting bottles back into their places, they both look at each other with smirks, silently coming up with a plan. Itâs almost too good of a chance to pass up. Youâre all alone tonight. No one to protect you from anything or anyone.Â
They came up with their little arrangement a few months ago. It started when they accidentally let someone die on the job. The man was beating his wife, and she finally found the courage to fight back, grabbing a kitchen knife when he came at her yet again. Both of them felt a rush they had never felt before when he died right in front of them, and before long, they were hunting down all the people they ran into that deserved something worse than death and killed them. Brutally.
âWell, Iâm gonna head out, Iâve got an early morning tomorrow. Babysitting my niece.â Buck speaks about an hour later, pulling out his wallet and placing some money on the table.Â
âOkay, Iâll see you next week?â you ask him with a smile. He nods, licking his lips as his eyes dart down your body once last time.
âWouldnât miss it, sweetheart.â he tells you, placing his hand to his chest, almost like a promise.Â
You feel your cheeks heating up as you say goodbye, and with one last wave and a wink towards Eddie, heâs out the door.Â
Buck leaves only twenty or so minutes until close, and once heâs gone, thereâs no one in the bar but you and Eddie. The group of men watching football are long gone, and like usual, youâre going home with more than usual in tips. Eddie still has half of his beer left, and tells you this is his last, so you finish your cleaning while he keeps you company, watching as you make your way around the bar to wipe down tables and grab the last few empty glasses scattered around.
Once everything is cleaned and put away, Eddie slides some cash across the bar to you. Once again, itâs far too much, but you donât try to argue with him. You put the money in the register, then pocket your tip, and once youâre done, he stands up, ready to follow you out of the bar so you can lock up.
âThe offer still stands.â he tells you as you lock the front door. He looks around while you focus on your keys, almost as if looking for something. When you turn to face him with a smile, he knows heâs got you. Heâs glad Buck mentioned the murders earlier; it seemed to make you just that little bit more nervous. Just enough for you to take up his offer.
You both begin to walk towards your apartment. You know he drove here; you saw his car keys when he first walked into the bar, but you donât question why youâre walking instead of driving. Heâs already being generous enough, you donât want to seem ungrateful by asking him to drive you instead of walking you home, even if youâre only thinking about him having to walk back to the bar after he drops you off.
You lead him down an alley; a shortcut you usually take. You know you shouldnât necessarily take a shortcut down here; the lights are barely bright enough for you to see ten feet in front of you, but it gets you home quicker. You and Eddie walk in silence, which magnifies all the sounds around you, but you feel a little more at ease with him here anyway. You kick a rock as you walk, catching up to it every few steps only to kick it again, but one of your kicks sends the rock flying vertically and right into a big pile of garbage beside a dumpster.
This causes a cat to jump and yelp loudly, now becoming visible from behind the plastic bags and cardboard boxes. Youâve never seen a cat down here before, so when the rustling of trash bags hits your ears, you jump, your eyes going wide as your shoulders raise to almost touch your ears.
Eddieâs beside you in an instant, his body tense, but once he realizes what made you jump, he chuckles. You look over at him with a sheepish smile, then continue to walk, albeit closer to him than before.
When youâre finally out of the alley that youâre sure youâll never want to walk down alone again, a strange feeling spreads through your body. You look around nervously, keeping yourself alert as you continue to walk. It almost feels like someone is watching you, and you donât like it. You know youâre relatively safe; most people who would plan to attack you would back off if youâre with a man, but you canât help but still feel on edge.
Eddie is smirking as he walks behind you, grateful for the cat that put you on edge. It wasnât something they had planned, but it was a good way to get you to react exactly how they want you to.
As you continue walking, you hear something in the distance, a bottle breaking, you think, but youâre not sure which direction itâs coming from. It rings in your ears, and you jump again, practically jumping into Eddieâs arms. He lets out a low grunt as you make contact with his chest, but his arms are around you in an instant, squeezing a little too tight, fingers digging into your plush middle.
âShhh. I got you, honey. Youâre safe.â he whispers into your ear. He smirks down at your scared expression and trembling form as your head swivels all around, desperately looking for the sound of the noise. You will never find it, though. Theyâll make sure of that.
Eddieâs embrace, paired with his sweet words, calm you down, and soon enough, youâre detaching yourself from him and continuing to walk as you mumble a soft âthank you.â
You feel nervous the entire way back to your apartment after that, still feeling like someone is watching you. Every small sound makes you flinch, but Eddie is quick to shush you, telling you that heâs right here.
The noises are almost dizzying, and if you didnât think the idea was so ridiculous and unlikely, youâd think that someone is messing with you. Footsteps to your left, something being kicked down the street behind you, another bottle breaking to your right. It feels like someone is circling you, like youâre their prey.
Once youâre finally home, you stop at your apartment door, looking up at Eddie with a soft smile. Thereâs still a hint of fear in your eyes, which Eddie sees immediately, and he smirks as you try to cover it with your smile. Poor thing. You havenât seen scary yet.
âThank you.â you say softly. Itâs late, and your apartment walls are paper thin. You know if you speak any louder than a whisper, one of your annoying neighbours will complain to the landlord. And you really donât need any more problems with him.
âOf, course. Thatâs what friends are for.â he tells you, peeking into your apartment over your head as you turn and open your door. He desperately wants you to invite him in, but he knows itâs far too early for that. Heâll wait until the time is appropriate.Â
He can tell that once you turn to face him again, youâre going to say good night, and heâs desperate to keep you here. He wants to see you again, soon.
âChristopher has been asking about you. Wondering when youâre gonna come visit.â he says, shoving his hands into his pocket as he feigns indifference. You smile, thinking about Christopher. Heâs a good kid, and you love to see him when you go to Eddieâs house. With the way Eddie is looking at you, it hardly seems like Chris is the one that wants you over, but youâre too oblivious to tell.
âIâm off next Thursday. I could come by then?â you say, raising your brows as an unsure expression crosses your face. He gives you an almost devilish smile at your words, and nods.
âItâs a date.â he murmurs, his eyes trailing down your figure. He loves when you wear your black mini skirt, and if he and Buck didnât get most of your attention when theyâre at the bar, he would be tempted to gut all the men that stare at your ass as you serve them.Â
âOkay.â you speak quietly, nodding as you smile up at him. He bids you goodnight, then turns and walks back down the hallway toward the elevator. Before he makes it to the elevator, he turns to see you still watching him walk, and he smirks before he speaks.
âAnd donât forget to lock your doors. Thereâs a lot of creeps out there.â
next chapter
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bob floyd fic plz loving your fics anything really with some spice đ„șđ
Risky business ( Robert " bob" Floyd x Reader) 18+
summary : home doesn't feel like home so y/n takes a risk moving to san diego to the man she always felt was her home her best friend robert floyd , she thinks he friend zoned her , he thinks if he tell her about his feeling for her he'll lose it til one night he takes a risk and hope its a good one .
warnings : swearing , very fluffy like super fluffy , mutual pinning , idiot in love , bestfriends to lovers , dagger squad being the best smutty fun , oral ( female r), fingering , p in v ( unprotected don't be silly wrap that willy ) .
Risks are scary, big or small, and can be terrifying when you donât know the outcome. It's scary when you do but most risks are usually the best decisions in a person's life. Coming from Montana to San Diego because your best friend is permanently stationed is a big risk , not telling said friend and making sure no else did, big risk. Yet standing in some bar called hard deck hoping they would show up like they most nights. what maybe helped already knowing with the help of a certain female pilot promised they would be . talking away with the pretty kind eyed bartender as patron began to fill the space with a blink of an eye it was sea of people , each time she would hear the door open her eyes would dart in the direction in hopes to see the WSO she hadnât seen in a year or more . texting and calls were main communications and social media which is how she began sort of friends with natasha trace bantering or in bobs word torturing him on a post or meme which became a regular and a mutual online friendship was formed . bob always gonna be her best friend two growing up together playing on her ranch , he even worked there summers with her so they could spend time together. Montana suddenly didnât feel like home anymore it missed one major thing and that was robert floyd so she packed her things and now here she stood in a bar trying to see through the sea of people . a polite smile and shake of her head at the men coming her way offering one liner and drinks . she sipped her beer and continue as nat promised she would get the weapons systems operator to the hard deck even if she had to drag him herself .Â
â well well i didnât know it was my lucky nightâ a voice called as she turned to see a blonde and along with a few others eyes locked on her and her glance short because she saw him standing there almost flying off the stood and running past the cocky blonde.Â
â BOBBYâ She yelled almost knocking the poor man to the ground as his mind was catching up and making sense to what was happening.Â
â guess itâs not a lucky as you thought bagmanâ .Â
â y/n shit what you doing hereâ he lifted her up and spun her around .Â
â to see ya stupid why else â she giggled as he put her down .Â
â told you iâd get him here also nice to finally meet youâ a voice called as she turned seeing the brunette that help and share memes to torment bob.Â
â nat wow nice to meet ya too â she turned hugging the woman .Â
â could we meet you too⊠hi names bradley â he smiled holding his hand out and they began pushing each other out of the way telling her their names and call sign.Â
â erm let sit over hereâ bob pulled her to his side and guiding her to the usual space as hangman and rooste more or less yelling about their skills in pool and darts . he didnât know what was going on or it was some hallucination , did they crash and this was some coma dream or his own form of heaven .Â
â y/n let me get you a drink to welcome to the hard deck â of course jake was already putting the charm on .Â
â oh thank you â she smiled softly as she told him her order before her attention was back on bob . â i was so scared you werenât gonna show up but then again i knew nat wouldnât have let the surprise go to wasteâ she giggled as they guy simultaneously sighed dreamily.Â
â That's why you kept trying to get me to leave earlier. I should have knownâ he chuckled .Â
âI didnât wanna leave this hotty at the bar too long on her own â nat winked .Â
â you flatter me really , hell iâd say the guys have a hard time flying with you around huh?â.Â
â more her mouth than anythingâŠ. So what brings you to fighter town pretty girl ?â rooster asked, hand on his chin and big eyes in her direction .Â
â well home was boring without bobby around ainât felt much like home so I kinda packed up my car and decided hell why notâ she shrugged.Â
â wait your staying like staying stayingâbobs eyes widening and excited smile on his face shit why was so cute , handsome and fuck why couldnât she stop feeling like this for her best friend. Â
â well sheâs been planning the last few months and honestly iâm proud of myself for keeping it a secret so longâ nat smirked.Â
â and nat helped a lot she viewing places for me which i will make sure to send something âŠfood wise since you wonât let me pay you anyway â she rolled her eyes .Â
âHonestly better than money or whatever sweetpeaâs cooking is to die for â bob almost moaned at the thought of tasting her food again one of the things he missed being home.Â
â sweetpea?âÂ
â nickname from when i was kid my mama was really into flowers and well one of it meanings is loyal when i got into trouble a lot for picking up for bobby she called me sweet pea also because they were grown for beauty too but i think more the loyal part â she rolled her eyes.
â your beer darlingâ jake returned flashing a million dollar smile her way .Â
â thanks cowboy , so this is famous hard deck iâve been hearing all about hell penny is a peach , where else is fun around here?â she asked looking around mainly her eyes where on bob , they always were even as kids she thought he was the prettiest boy , cutest smile and innocent eyes but she say other side when they got dark when he would get pissed off or when he got drunk how it would be a goofy grin . She was one who saw most sides of robert floyd , reading him like a book or so she thought.Â
Ever since he was little boy the only girl to fully make robert floyd heart beat fast and his stomach to flutter and a warmth fill through his body was y/n , his sweet pea who go out of her way to take care of those she loved and put a person in their place of needed to be . since they were kids she didnât take to kindly to other kids teasing him or even adults as they got older . Her mother was right she was loyal to a fault often trying to see the best in people and never returning it back . Hated the guys she dated ones that didnât appreciate the best woman on gods green earth . then he would pick up the pieces of what was left behind unknowingly making things worse because they got that chance because she thought he saw her as sister , constantly made sure to let slip in the fact they were best friends so she dated idiots she thought would distract her from her decent in the depths of the of friend zone. Now she was happy being single maybe she needed time to get over those feelings first before jumping into a mistake. She was happy now being with the one man she couldnât have it should of stung but a life with him in it even as her best friend was what she was willing to settle on. She got along with the dagger squad they were good people , fun and very welcoming . rooster and hangman to offering to teach her to play darts which made bobs face light up , the coy act as she stood unsurely throw the first one missing reeling them in til she turned to bob not even paying attention to the way their jaws drop when she hit the bullseye while taking about her day of unpacking.Â
â would ya look at that â she winked before heading to get another drink .Â
â look like your game isnât working tonight boys â nat snortedÂ
â iâve a better shot then hangman âÂ
â you wish chicken boy âÂ
âI donât think either of you two have a chanceâ payback announced as he shot the WSO a quick glance . being the married man and obsessed with one woman in his life he could spot something the others didnât. Her eyes didnât devour them any of them , she only looked to answer or tell them a story but other than that her full attention was on bob and bob alone . heart in those eyes  and it was returned what he didnât know was there wasnât more to it , how two people undeniably in love and yet just friends maybe he would find out but for now he observed see how long it took the other but only the knowing look on phoenix face he wasnât the only one that spotted it , the rest would need to get over the egos first .Â
After week one fanboy spotted it followed by javy at week three  but rooster and hangman were two busy in a silent competition it didn't hit them til six months of y/n being around. The two men saying they totally spotted it way be for then but they couldnât hide when it clicked now they were waiting for those two to see it , would their be harm in helping a gentle nudge in the right direction so to speak. Another new favorite in the shift of the routine was eating dinner in y/n which the name was a distant memory as sweetpea continued to live on in san diego , even pete mitchell addressed her as such .  they decided maybe it was best to skip one dinner night even though the idea of it had some of them pouting like spoiled children .Â
â you better not mess it up â was all the message from hangman and rooster read as he stood on the porch ready to knock not knowing what his friends where on about . then when the door opened the thought went straight out of his head as she standing head tilt in pair of cotton shorts and tank , brows furrow.Â
â i thought the squad was busy?â god her voice something as simple as her voice had him in a puddle . sometimes he would get her to talk about her hobbies , things she loved just to hear her ramble excitedly .Â
âI .. not all the squad i guess , iâll call for pizza and you pick out the movieâ he chuckled letting himself in .Â
â beers in the fridge or ginger aleâ she called and yet he couldnât help it watching her walking away how it made the blood rush sound and his mouth run dry . he felt the buzz of his phone to see the text in the group chat. Â
Phoenix : please make a move or iâve suffered the whining of bradshaw and seresin for nothing.
Baby on board : what you mean ?
Bagman : either get the girl or i willÂ
Rooster: iâll get her before bagman Â
â bobby? â she called as he pocketed the phone a gulp as he looked up nervous was it that obvious , it was clearly it was plain as day for his friends to spot it and now he was scared on her catching on what if he scared her away .. what if he lost his best friend because he couldnât contain the feelings . maybe it was better tell her , face the rejection and get over it so he could get on with his life .Â
â yeah .. yep coming sweetpea â he walked probably slowest heâs ever walk in hope of the short distance he could sort himself out . that would of been blown away as she sat looking up his eyes straining to stay on her face and not the plush of her thigh as she sat on the sofa feet tucked underneath her legs and big bright smile on her face.Â
â ya coming or whatâ she snorted looking to the tv eyes scanning through the potential choices . when he finally took his seat as far away as he could get without being in a different room .Â
â Do I smell?â she arched her brows to which he shook his head so fast she thought his glasses would fall off . â well come over hereâ she patted the seat beside her . Â
â you wanna drink like i said beer if you wanna stay over or ginger aleâ she asked getting up .Â
â you hate ginger ale why you always get it âÂ
âCause you donâtâ she easily said . â same way i get those nuts ya like or the chips which honestly iâm starting to think something wrong with ya taste budsâ she snorted heading off to the kitchen . Â
â given the chance iâd taste you â he mumbled .
âWhat was that â she carried in the beers .
â i said nothing wrong with my taste thank youâ he coughed bringing the bottle to his lips least he couldnât have slip ups if it was occupied right.Â
â you ok â she asked concern on his face as he nodded. â ya sure like a bag of cats since you got in here â .Â
â just thinking of something that well is a big risk and i donât know what to do , itâs classifiedâ he sighed.Â
â take it i mean risks are scary sure but if it something you love or something in your life that needs changing , iâd say go for it once it not life on the line that that risk , i moved out her away from everything i knew and i think it was best decision i made â she smiled softly and yet it did comfort him but same time the fear was winning . â think on what i said decided then but for now lets watch this movieâ she giggled hitting play and the lights . of course she would pick the movie he said he loved , she always done little or big things like this having his favorites for when he was over , packing extra things when they were out like sun cream and aloe vera when he did burn . wipes for his glasses . little things that didnât feel that little they meant a lot to him. He kept thinking it over the movie long forgotten as she cuddle into his side nothing new but still he was trying to think , trying to decide take the risk or not.Â
â fuck this â he finally said only he didnât mean to say it so loud making her startle and sit up right .Â
â What's going on? What's got all worked up â she ask pausing the moving . â I know you said classified what is itâ .Â
â Â itâs you â his head fell back eyes closed fuck it may aswell do it cause if he didnât he was going to be in a padded room .Â
â me? What i do?â he could hear it the hurt in her voice , he knew her too well knew how her mind worked and he knew she was worried she done something wrong.Â
â nothing wrong i mean itâs more me than anything before i could do i think being deployed and stationed places helped i was able to hide it better , now others see it too and then your gonna see it , but iâm taking your advice and it feel life risking but shit i need to tell you iâve been in love with you since we met shit i donât think theres a time i havenât been and i understand if this changes things between us i mean if you want me to walk out that door i will as much as it kills me but i canât pretend iâm not anymore and no iâm gonna loose my best friend and jake and bradley are gonna hate they miss the food for me fucking everything up but i love you , in love with you â he could lie and say that the beating of his heart help since he couldnât hear anything yet her mouth fell open and her eyes wide , she was frozen to the spot and now he wanted to run literally run his ass out that door and keep running maybe start a life somewhere new .. like the moon . â please say something⊠anythingâ he was more quiet  , vulnerable and small in his voice.Â
â you fucker âŠ. Asshole ..â that was not the words he was expecting to hear. â your telling me you felt the same all this fucking time⊠.asshole what was the whole thing of constantly added the fact weâre bestfriends in any conversation you shit i thought i was so deep in the friendzone the titanic would of been found before anyone found me down thereâ she quipped .Â
â i more said that to myself than you â he wincedÂ
â why didnât you tell me sooner â she asked .Â
â i was afraid iâd lose you why didnât you tell meâ.Â
â because you dick i thought you friendzoned me â she huffed and yet the smile she was fighting it was , winning as her lips twitched up .Â
â so we both love like in love with each other â he asked shyly .Â
â i guess we areâ she nodded.Â
â so i can kiss youâ.Â
â iâd be pissed if you didnâtâ she turned only for his hands on her cheeks and lips crashing against her. It was soft at first , almost testing the waters  , crossing new bound and borders and yet it felt like it was most right thing to do , it was like the whole cliche puzzles pieces souls connecting goodness wrapped in a bow that would make the hallmark channel proud . til the kiss got hungry , heat , sensual . nip to her bottom lip granting the entrance , tongues dancing along side each. Pulling her closer , needing her closer lifting her to his lap , where she always should of been his hand on her hip , the other tangled in her hair . her own at the nape of his neck the soft tug pulling him for her lips as she kissed down his jaw . wet open mouth kissing along his neck setting his skin a blaze the room suddenly feeling like a sauna as she nips and lick the skin . his now free hand , fingers under her chin pulling her face to his , his eyes darkened that made her gulp and her thighs willing to clench under the almost burning gaze .Â
â baby girl i need know you want this â he voice few octaves lower if he wasnât holding her by her chin her mouth would of fell open .Â
â i want this i want you pleaseâ she whine her eyes full of needed , lust blown pupils and kiss bitten lips made his cock throb straining against his pants . the gasp from her lips when she felt it pressed again her , her panties soaking , clothes feeling tight as she ground her hips down showing him how much she wanted him , needing him . the delicious friction his hand falling down to her ass squeezing as the moan spilled from from her lips like a flip of a switch , the resolved that was holding on by thread snapping . Instant he stood lips crashing against her harder , hungrier , her legs wrapped around him as he carried her to her bedroom. Her top thrown to one corner and her short to another like the clothing personal offended him . the groan when he seen it she been sitting beside him all night nothing underneath , laying bare beneath him as he pull his own clothes off in record speed. His grip under her legs pulling her close her chest rising and falling, her eyes pleading him to continue shit he had to of died to get this piece of heaven . kissing down her legs not once did his eyes moved , her mouth open as he place sloppy kisses slow , tortuous she needed him to do something before she was driven crazy . closer and closer til she felt it , felt his tongue broad stroke from her entrance to her clit . head falling back as sound that came from her lips almost had him blowing his lips . paradise if it had a taste it would be her sweet pussy if he could heâd spend the rest of his life between her plush thighs. A grip on his hair as she cried out his name a sound he imagine and yet it didnât do it justice , none of this was even close to what his mind tried to conjure.
â fuck bobby donât stop â her hips following his movement as his tongue swirling around her clit as his finger pumping in and out hitting spots she never knew existed , the fact he ate her pussy like it was first and last meal , like it was his first taste of wandering the desert . robert floyd ate pussy like it was an olympic sport and he was going for gold . he had her ruined knowing nothing , not even her own fingers could ever feel as good. Build and building , winding so tight she could feel it coming to the point she was already trembling crying not to stop it was coming and coming til stopped .Â
â the fuckâ she panted as he rose cocky smirk on his face she felt like sobbing and slapping him all at one .Â
â when you cum for me for first baby it gonna be on my cock â he kissed her nose . she went to argue but what ever argument she had turned to a moan inch by inch he filling her.Â
â fuck so tight .. she made for me huh.. All mineâ he groan his forehead on her kissing her lips til she bucked her hips a sign for him to move his hand on her cheek kissing almost swallowing the moans , trust slow at first feeling his cock stretching her velvet walls . soft sensual movement til his pace got faster and fast hold her face in place as he looked down . his other hand coming between her bodie , teasing her puffy clit he could feel it feel her getting closer and closer the way she was sucking him in , how being buried in her sweat cunt was addictive.Â
â iâm gonna fuckk ⊠like that gonna â she couldnât get it out everytime she tried to get the sentence out of her mouth he would hit the spot so deep in side she was going brainless . pressure building crying his name like it was only word she knew in that moment was . like a explosion her eyes rolling back as her legs clenched around him walls tight on his cock .Â
â good fucking girl â he growled his own movement sloppy til he was shooting his own release painting her cervix with thick ropes of cum . body cover in sheen of sweat his lips peppering her face with delicate kisses before he got her lips . a collective wince as he pulled out collapsing beside her pulling her to his chest.
â thatâŠâÂ
âIs happening all the time agreed .. your a dickâ she sigh happily.
â whyâs that baby girl â he chucking looking down at blissed out grin on her face.Â
â we could of been doing that all this time .. but hey least i was right risk are worth taking â she giggled as he pounced on her kissing her once more , kiss his best friend and his girl .
#top gun fandom#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#robert bob floyd#bob floyd x reader#bob floyd x you#bob floyd x y/n#robert floyd#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd x you#robert floyd fanfiction#bob floyd smut#robert floyd fluff#robert bob floyd x reader#robert floyd imagine#bob floyd#top gun bob#phoenix#rooster#payback#hangman#coyote#fanboy#natasha trace#natasha phoenix trace#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman seresin#mickey fanboy garcia#reuben fitch#javy machado
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Hiii, can i request a scenario on how naoya (when he has reached a point where he loves wife!reader from an arranged marriage) would react to one day not being greeted at all when he comes home? It is completely silent, no response as he calls for her and is getting a bit worried as he starts searching the rooms. But then he sees her laying on the couch, shivering and sweating from a cold thatâs so intense sheâs barely lucid and canât even tell heâs there and talking to her
Heya!!
So... I took some liberties when writing this, kind of went a completely different route (the sick part, alongside worried Naoya still remains though), it just occurred to me when reading your ask, but I hope it's still of your liking đ„ș!!!
anyways, here are the warnings: mentions of death, miscarriage, a very concerned and overprotective Naoya, a bit of fluff, and everyone wants to spoil you rotten lol.
And without further ado, happy reading!
âY/N, Iâm home!â
Home.
A word he never really cared for, always considering it sappy, alongside the fondness that was usually assigned to it, which Naoya couldnât think of as nothing but ridiculous, if not hilariously overrated.
For many years, Naoya thought that a home was simply the place that one was raised in and thatâs about it. Nothing of the sentimentality others liked to apply to it, brag about itâŠ
Until, of course, he finally came to understand what the word meant; why it was so special, and why it was important to have one.
A home wasnât made by the people he knew as family, blood related, found in the place he was forced to be in since he was born, and probably die inâno; itâs the one that was made by the people of his choice, people he met through his course of life, connected with, and now, cherished.
Amongst them, you.
He considered himself lucky to have found the love of his life, a concept he considered so⊠foreign, impossible for someone like him, if not a stupidity of delusional people desiring more from life.
So was Naoya destined to think for the rest of his existence, condemned by his same family to live a life of loneliness, hatred, and die the same way.
But youâd come to show him otherwise, shockingly, and unexpectedly, and in such a way he couldnât even put up a fight, completely surrendering to you and the wonderful feelings that being in love with you provided.
Now that heâs experienced them, he couldnât find the reason as to why his family would ever reproach such beautiful thing as harshly as they didâor that he believed them in the first placeâŠ
Well, thatâs not something that bothers him anymore; the Zenâin clan could continue on in their hard stuck ways for all he cared; he, on the other hand, plans to spend the rest of his days alongside the woman of his dreams, starting by today, finally back in your arms after days of being pulled into pointless missions after pointless missions, which he would not hear of for a few weeksâhaving earned a well-deserved break for his consistently good performance.
Naoya even prepared accordingly for the occasion, having bought gifts from all the places heâd been to, as well as ideated ways to distract you from the boring estate and his nagging relatives he knows you donât enjoy being around with, only tolerating them because they were, well, your in-laws, his familyâwith exceptions of those you do get along, and for them, heâs grateful that they do.
Ah, he couldnât wait to see you, your face, and the adorable way it brightens up whenever receiving him.
To tell you of his day while resting his head on your lap, with you passing your fingers through his hair, gently soothing his stresses away as you reassure him that heâs the best sorcerer out there, heâs just⊠unlucky to bump into lesser talented ones.
Get something to eat too, heâd like his favorite for a start, miso soupâand perhaps have you feed it to him? God, itâs been a while since both have done that, and itâs not because he doesnât like doing it, or you for that matter, but rather, he doesnât want to risk being seen by others, it has to be in the utmost privacy, after all! He isnât to be vulnerable in front of his family!!
Oh, he needs wishes to see youâright now. And heâs absolutely sure youâre feeling the same wayâŠ
If so⊠why hadnât you responded? Why hadnât you come to receive him in the same manner youâve always done?
Naoya knows that his schedule can be a bit⊠unpredictable, making it difficult for you to know exactly when heâll come back homeâbut even then, it didnât take you that long to meet him after announcing his return.
Youâd always come to the entrance, no matter if it happened right that moment, or a bit later; you just⊠did.
But today⊠it seems that you opted to break the routine by taking far longer than you usually do.
Heâd remain attentive to his surroundings, hoping to either hear your approaching footsteps or voice softly calling for him at a distance, yet as time went on, he was received with neitherâŠ. And Naoya only begins to grow more worried.
Your husband tries to not jump to the worst conclusion just yet, opting to think that you were perhaps simply caught up tending to the house, maybe even partaking in an unwanted conversation with one of his relatives and having trouble brushing them offâfor no matter the times youâd reminded them that your husband was back, and you needed to be there to receive him, still acted as if it wasnât that important.
Things that implied that even when running late, you were still ok.
YetâŠ
âY/N!â Naoya calls once again, hoping for a changeâŠ
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
Silence.
Itâs by this time that he decides itâs better to search for you than to stand around and wait for you to magically appear.
Naoya begins by going into the main wing, eyes scanning through the gardens, your usual place of leisure when not busy, where youâd calmly enjoy the diligently tended for flowers (the ones he had changed to your favorite as soon as he found out which ones they were) while snacking on something, or in the company of your loyal staffâif that were the case of your absence, he understood why you didnât answer.
But he wouldnât find you near any of the gardens, or anywhere in fact! A statement that weighed even heavier upon finding out that the staff was in the same predicament as him, for when he asked a nearby servant of your whereabouts, he was received with the following answer:
âWe havenât seen herâ Naoyaâs heart sinks.
âWhat do you mean you havenât seen her?â he breathes. âWhere could my wifeâdid sheâdid she leave the estate?â
No. You⊠didnât. Because thatâs not what you told him youâd be doing a few hours ago, after letting you know he was on his way back home; if anything, you replied with how excited you were to see him again and that youâd be eagerly waiting for him!
So obviously, their words didnât make sense. But if so⊠where were you?
Naoya now frantically searched for you through every wing, room, space, chamber, closet, justâ anywhere, literally anywhere you could be while repeatedly calling out your name in hopes of getting a response, or even a glimpse of you; he doesnât care what at that point, heâs happy with either!
Yet, the longer he went on without an answer, the bigger his sorrow became, to the point where his mind was machinating nothing but the worst-case scenarios, slowly losing his inhibitions as he repeatedly wondered Where were you? How come no one has seen you? Did he have to escalate this situation?
JustâWhere are you, Y/N?!
Thankfully, there would be no need to pursue bigger solutions for heâd get his answer soon enough after entering the east wing, passing through the living quarters, and arriving to the laundry room, one of the last places heâd thought youâd beârightfully guessing so, for you were there, apparently washing whatever garments you had pending, which you hadnât been able to wash due to a variety of unknown reasonsâŠ
But far from feeling elated to have found you, Naoya felt as if whatever he had left of his heart was effectively broken, which felt short compared to the way he found you.
âY/N!â
The sight that received him is one that will remain imprinted in the back of mind: you were laying on the floor, on your side, tightly clutching to your stomach as you breathed heavily, eyes tightly shut while groaning in what Naoya could only interpret as pain.
As if his worries werenât through the roof at that point, this last conclusion is what urged Naoya to hastily make way to your side, swiftly kneeling to your level as he calls out for you once more.
âY/NâY/Nâ Heâd breathe, firmly yet carefully placing his hands over you with intentions of picking you up, but his hold falters when his fingers briefly graze your skin, making him gasp in return. âY/N youâreâyouâre burning!â
This would be the only time youâd respond to him, barely able to move your head onto his direction, slightly opening your eyes to see him, a gaze that shows how much pain you were going through, barely able to understand what was going on, except for gently breathing the word that makes his heart squeeze out in pain.
âNaâNaoyaâŠâ
Any hesitation is effectively thrown out the window by that point, picking you up and rushing you towards their shared bedroom, all while barking orders to the nearby staff, demanding them to call for a doctor, as quickly as possible, unless they wanted to be jobless by the end of the day!
The staff reacts accordingly, and a few minutes later, the family doctor arrives to the estate, guided to your room and seeing that you were already being tended to, or at least thatâs the idea he gets from the dampened towel on your forehead, undoubtedly in efforts of lowering your feverâwhich unfortunately, had been for nothing.
Well, he was there now, and he didnât waste time either to get to work, quickly assessing your condition by the apparent symptoms, starting by your temperature, the color of your skin, and even the way you reacted to him while doing so, completely uncooperativeâapparently, whatever put you in this state had evoked great instability from you, thus the doctor found it necessary to put you under sedatives.
But even when he was able to quickly gain control of the situation, the doctor still couldnât arrive at a proper conclusion, less when the people around you had an even smaller idea of what struck you.
âIâI donât know.â Naoya would respond, angrily, frustratedâand rightfully so. How come none of the servants had noticed your absence? Or worse, hadnât seen anything that could hint as to what your sickness was about?! âCanât you justâhelp her?!â
âThatâs what Iâm tryingâI canât help her if I donât know what Iâm dealing with.â The doctor responded as calmly as he could, but even he had to admit that everyoneâs seeming ignorance annoyed him as well. âBut I can still say that this seems much more than just a simple⊠sickness.â
âWhat do you mean?â Naoya frowns, the doctor looks at the nearby servants, tasked to be on stand-by if needed.
âIâd like to discuss this in private.â He tells them.
The servants donât wait for Naoya to repeat the order before theyâre already out the room and away from their earshot; a request that while didnât raise any concerns from Naoya âif anything, he was glad their pesky, useless presence, was finally away from youâ the doctorâs face was quick to convince your husband that something far worse than what met the eye.
And this made Naoyaâs nerves reach a new limit.
âI told you; I donât know what happenedââ Your husband is quick to defend, believing the doctor was to interrogate him once more, only to be interrupted.
âYou donât need to tell me for me to know what happened.â He interjects, Naoyaâs eyes widen.
âIâm lost.â Naoya scowls. âStop talking cryptically and get on with it!â
âIâve seen these symptoms before, Naoya. And as I said, these are not from a simple sickness, an allergy or any of the matterâ He takes a deep breath. âI heavily suspect she was intoxicatedâand not accidentally, but rather, intentionally.â
âExcuse me?â Naoya frowns. Â âI told you to stop talking in riddles, say what youââ
âPoisoned, Naoya. I believe your wife was poisoned.â
Naoyaâs world comes to a screeching halt.
YouâŠ
You were poisoned.
According to the doctor, youâYou were attacked, besieged, with malicious intents.
Taken advantage of in the one place youâd never be on edge, your home, the same one he had repeatedly reassured your father that youâd be safe inâthe Zenâin estate, home to the prestigious Zenâin clan! There was no safer place in the whole world! There couldnât!
No oneâ no one wouldnât dare do such a thing hereâthey knew better! Naoya would force them to now betterâŠ
Yet, someone dared to commit this transgression against you.
And to make it all worseâŠ.
Almost got away with it.
Who would even think of doing such transgression against you?! You?!
You had no quarrels with anyone, and even when you did, you handled things in such an amicable way just so youâd live peacefully, free of nonsensical argumentsâyou had no space for them in your life!
And yet, this still happened, and right underneath his noseâŠ.
Thereâs no doubt that heâll put an investigation into order to find the bastard responsible for your suffering, and once he does, heâll make him regret his existence, to the point heâll have him begging for mercyâand even then, it wouldnât be enough for Naoya.
However, that is something that will have to wait until he knows youâre safe, healthier, which the doctor had slowly began to help you with by giving you something that will immediately trap the poison from being further absorbed by your bloodâactivated charcoal, so he remembersâ as well as some other prescriptions for side effects he wishes to prevent.
âYour wife was very lucky to survive, have you waited a second moreââ
âI wasnât waiting.â Your husband immediately responds, offended by his wording. âI wasnât aware of this until I returned.â
The doctor presses his lips together, taking notice that throughout his whole visit, Naoya has never left your side, nor freed your hands from his.
âAnd Iâm not surprised.â He silently admits.
Naoya hates the notion the doctor was implying, that this was an inside job. But considering the odd behavior of the staff, their seeming ignorance of your location and your status⊠it all pointed to that same conclusion.
The boiling fury inside him grows bigger.
âHow could this be?â Naoya seethes.
How could someone get this far, this close to you, and no one suspecting a thing?
Your husband mightâve reproached the way the doctor expressed himself, but there was an undeniable truth behind them; he truly was lucky to have gotten back home just when he did, for had he taken a second longer, just one, you couldâve dieâ
Outside of that, the second most important question regarding this whole situation wasâŠwhere was your staff? Why, of all days, were they absent?
Naoya is confident that if Mariya, your closest confidant, had been around, this wouldâve never happened in the first place; the moment she saw anything out of the ordinary, she wouldâve pulled all the stops and acted accordingly.
Yet, she was nowhere to be seen, and this makes Naoya both highly suspicious, and furious.
Where was she? Â Where are the rest? Why would they leave you in your most needed time? Did they plan this? Plot against you?! Where the hell could they possiblyâ
âTheyâre going to be away for the weekend to visit their families.â
He suddenly remembers; you told him so earlier that week through a text.
âWill you be ok?â Naoya also remembers asking; he didnât feel happy knowing youâd be alone without your most trusted staff.
âItâs just a few days, Naoya. Besides, they deserve a break! I donât want them to get tired of me, you know?â  you laugh. âBut you better come back quickly, ok? Just because theyâre not around doesnât mean I like being aloneâŠâ
âI wonât take long. I promise.â
If only heâd kept his wordâŠ
Well, if that was to be the answer to their absence, then it wasnât fair to hold any level of animosity towards them, a weight being lifted from his burdened shoulders upon realizing your staff could strill be trusted in. Â
Now all that was left to worry about is finding the culprit⊠and the status of that too.
âIs she ok?â Naoya would ask.
âShe is, I managed toââ
âNo, I mean⊠that.â Naoyaâs voice hints to a silent agreement between the two. âIs⊠that ok?â
The doctor quickly catches what he means, affirming so by a nod. His reassurance lifts an immeasurable weight from his heart, even greater than the alleged betrayal of Mariya and the rest. One less thing to worry about.
âWhat now, then?â
âSince the damage was limited, to say the least, it wonât be necessary to move her to a hospital, howeverââ
Sheâs still in danger. Naoya concludes. More so if the attack came from someone inside⊠And what makes him think that just because heâs back theyâll stop trying?
If anything, seeing how close they got, they could try once again!
The mere thought is enough to push him into taking what is perhaps the most radical decision he couldâve taken in this situation, something that might come to torment him in the future, but until then, he wonât care, not even a bit; not when he had your safety to worry about:
That is⊠Naoya fired everyone, effective immediately.
He took no heed if any of them had been serving the family for years, if they were close friends of his father, or if their livelihood would be affectedâ Naoya just wanted them out of his sight, the estate, and as soon as possible, less they wanted to receive more of his anger, before continuing with the rest of his plan.
Due to the gravity of said situation, Naoya knew he had to contact your family; he also knew that you wouldâve refuted the idea as soon as he mentioned it to you, not wanting to worry them if youâve truly been attacked, but he couldnât do this to your father; not when he was amongst the few people in the world he knew had your wellbeing as utmost priorityâ as well as holding a great amount of respect and appreciation for him, specifically for the way he welcomed him into your family.
Eiichi, your father, had to admit that getting a call from the Zenâin estate that didnât come from you surely surprised him beyond any comprehension, and yet, that would be nothing compared to the shock heâd get upon knowing the motive behind said call; Naoya swore he almost heard your father passing out, or at least, in the process of.
âPoisoned?!â Â Eiichi gasped, tightly clutching onto the phoneâhe mightâve as well passed out and dived into a nightmare! âIs she ok?! Where is she right now?â
âAt the estate, with meâthe doctor didnât think it necessary for her to be hospitalized since he was able to stop the poison from spreading any further, but she still needs rest.â
âAnd the baby?â Â the referenced secret between Naoya and the doctor; your pregnancy.
âFine.â He breathes, swallowing. âThe doctor didnât tell me of any damage done to the baby⊠ but IâmâIâm still taking her to the doctor, justâjust to be sure.â
âHow could this happen?â Eiichi laments, heart breaking not only for you, but for Naoya as well. Your father knew all too well what it was to lose the love of his life, a pain that he would never desire on anyone, not even his own enemiesâŠ
One that he could slowly begin to hear in Naoyaâs voice; oh, he could only imagine the pain he was going through, or what waited for him if he had lost not only you, but his child too.
But, well, the worst is over⊠at least for now.
âSomeone from the staff did it.â Naoya declares, Eiichiâs heart sinks even further. âBut Iâve taken care of it, Iâve fired everyone.â
And your father, contrary to Naoyaâs relatives, did not question him. If anything, he seconded his decision, because had he been in your husbandâs shoes, he wouldâve done the same thing.
âWas her staff involved?â Your father asks, feeling a slight⊠anger with the idea that the ones you greatly cherished couldâve plotted against you.
âNo, they were not; in fact, they were out of the estate when all this went down.â Naoya responds. âBut I know that if they had been here, this wouldâve never happened in the first place.â
âBring her here, with me.â Eiichi immediately suggested, Naoya blinks, startled by the idea, if not against it.
âFatherâ"
âWe can take care of her while sheâs recuperating, take her to the doctor too. Iâll make sure that she has everything she needs. And not to misjudge your staff, or lack of, but the people here would never hurt herâtheyâve known her since she was a child! There wonât be another safer place for her to be than here, Naoya. At leastâŠÂ until sheâs better.â
Previously, Naoya wouldâve questioned the veracity of his words, done all he could to prove you were much better with him, but after this occurrence⊠he had to agree.
As much as it hurt him to know youâd be away from him, especially when you were pregnant⊠he knew this was the right decision to make. He couldnât expose you to another similar situationânot even if he got a completely new staff⊠or if you didnât want to leave.
So, Naoya accepts Eiichiâs suggestion, alongside buying him a ticket for the earliest available flight to Kyoto; a few hours later, your father would arrive to the estate, rushing to your side, keeping you company while tending to your every need as Naoya prepared everything for your departure.
When you eventually regained consciousness, you were (although a bit surprised) overwhelmingly elated to see your father visiting you, for it had been so long since youâd seen him, probably around the time you announced your pregnancy!
However, that excitement would soon diminish when Naoya told you why he was there⊠alongside the cryptic explanation of your âsickness.â
âIt was an allergy.â Naoya would say, not wanting to stress you by the fact that you were intentionally poisoned, although that excuse did little to stop you from doing so. âRare, but it can happen, especially with pregnant women.â
âAn allergyâŠ? But I didnâtâŠâ you frown.
âIt happened to your mother, once.â Eiichi followed Naoyaâs lead. He hated lying to you, but⊠he concurred that keeping you safe, both mentally and physically, was worth doing so. âItâs nothing but hormonal changes, so donât worry much about it.â
âI guessâŠâ you frown, pressing your lips. âBut that still doesnât explain why I have to leave.â
âWe need to check what caused your allergyâ Naoya responds. âIt might be something about the food, the flowers, or even the wood; I rather you be safe than to go through that scare again.â
âBut is⊠all this really necessary?â Naoya gives you a tight smile and a nod. âNaoya, Iâ"
âItâs not all bad, Y/N.â Naoya says.
âBesides, donât you want to spend time with your papa? Itâs been so long since Iâve spent time with my adorable pumpkin!â Eiichi laments.
âDad!â you gasp, flustered by his words. âDonâtâdonât say that in front of NaoyaâŠâ
âWhat? Itâs true! And thatâs all Iâve ever wanted to do since I learned Iâm going to be a grandfather!â
âStop it!â your face becomes redder. âYouâre embarrassing me!â
Naoya chuckles; itâs not like heâs seen you in⊠worse situations. Or better?
âBut⊠I guess a visit is overdue.â You eventually concede, Naoya and your father sigh out of relief. âThough what about Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi?â
âTheyâll go with you, if you want.â Naoya says; he doubts theyâll say no, especially after knowing of the whole fiasco that occurred when away, might even offer themselves before he suggests the idea.
âIf I didnât know any better, sounds like you want me gone.â You jest, Naoya frowns. âItâs a joke, of courseâŠâ
âThereâs nothing more I would like than you staying here, but until we figure out what caused that reaction from you, Iâd rather not risk it.â
âItâs only temporary, Y/N. Besides, lookâI brought you gifts!â Eiichi says, taking out the bag he brought from home seemingly out of nowhere, filled with things he knew youâd love, such as sweets, your favorite mochiâs of course, alongside some plushies that would always brighten your day when you were a child. âAnd thereâs much more back homeâŠâ
Naoya canât help but feel relieved you had your father for support, but at the same time, a bit jealous and, well, threatened. Not for bad reasons, of course, it was simply because how the hell did he not think of bringing you gifts first?!
âDad⊠youâre embarrassing me in front of Naoya.â
âAh, thatâs a parentâs bane, isnât it? To always embarrass their childrenâyouâll see what I mean when you both have your baby.â
Perhaps the main reason why you ended up agreeing to leave was because your pregnancy did not seem affected by your supposed allergy; had it been you wouldâve refused to leave your husbandâs side!
⊠Well, you still wouldâve refused either way, but perhaps a bit more. You hate the idea of being away from the father of your child for too long, after all.
âI donât think soâNaoya and I are going to be the cool parents, youâll see.â
âThatâs what your mom and I thought, and look at me now, canât even say anything without you telling me Iâm embarrassing you!â Eiichi says, you chuckle.
âI donât know what youâre talking about, mom was cool! You were always the funny one!â
Naoya smiles.
Now he knows for sure that thereâs no safer place for you to be in than with your family, even if that were to be on the other side of the countryâŠ
After Naoya prepared everything for your departure, the three eventually made way to the exit, where you and your father would bid their last goodbyes.
âWonât you accompany me?â you ask, a slight pout on your face, he smiles in hopes to cheer you up, but really, he felt miserable.
âI want to, but I canât.â He explains. âI have to deal with this as fast as possible if youâre to come back quickly.â
â⊠Will you visit me over there, at least?â you frown.
âYes. As soon as I have a chance, Iâll go see you.â Naoya promises.
It had all been too soon, just a few hours ago he arrived at the estate, and now, youâre leaving. Naoya laments that he couldnât spend a day with you before your departure⊠but he guesses this to be a rightful sacrifice for your well-being.
âI wouldnât dream of keeping away from my wife and baby for too long.â
At those words, Eiichi couldnât help but frown out of sorrow.
It wasnât fair that neither of you had been able to enjoy this wonderful occasion as you should.
He still remembers the excitement in your voice, the glint in your eye, and the beaming smile on your lips when announcing your pregnancyâalongside the nerves that came with it, of course, which Eiichi eased by reminding you and Naoya that their enthusiasm was nothing but indicative they were already on their way of becoming the loving and supportive parents their baby needed.
But as excited as both were, Eiichi had to cruelly put a stop to their celebrations, especially after Naobito was made aware of this, who wished to proceed by announcing the news to the whole community.
âI have to disagree, Naobito.â Eiichi would be the first to reject the idea, much to everyoneâs surpriseâyours, specifically.
âAnd why is that?â Heâd ask back, not understanding why the father of the expecting mother, of all people, would be the one to reject so.
âItâs best if Y/N keeps her pregnancy a secret, at least⊠until itâs undeniably noticeable.â
âBut⊠why, dad?â you asked. This was a moment of absolute joy, to be treated as such! So why did he intend to keep it a secret? Was he⊠disappointed?
No. Never. He was nothing but happy to see you happy and become a grandfather himself for the first time in his life!
But as a man of his years, heâs learned to be cautious of how said blessings are to be celebrated, as well as seen his fair share of happiness turn sour⊠things that Eiichi would rather take upon him than allow them to ever befall you.
âBecause thereâs people out there that might try to hurt youâor the baby.â Â Heâd explain. âNaobito cannot not deny this, but if anyone hears that youâre pregnant with the Zenâin heirâs baby, those that want to hurt the Zenâin clan, or our family, will see this as the perfect opportunity to do so.â
âIâd never allow such thing, rest assured, thereâs no safer place thanââ Naoya quickly interjects, wanting to reassure your father, but Eiichi was set on his warnings.
âI wouldnât have said this if I didnât see it myself.â Eiichi reminds him, Naoya swallows. âWe live in a highly competitive world due to the nature of our families; Iâve lost my wife because of this! And Iâd be damned to allow it to happen again to my daughter.â
He hated to remind you of the harsh truth; hated to see how your face would sadden, the excitement for your first child, his first grandchild, quickly disappearingâŠ
âWhy would someone do that?â you murmur, frowning.
âThey wouldnât dareâIâll make sure of it.â Naoya hisses.
Eiichi remained silent, sad for you and your husband. Because even if youâve experienced first-hand what it is to lose someone through these matters, both have yet to fully understand the extremes those supposedly loyal to them can go to if properly incited. Especially for someone who had so much to lose, just as the elite members of prestigious Zenâin clan.
Even then, your father would not allow such pain to reach you, not the same way it almost did to him and your mother, so, he insisted you keep these news secret from the worldâand if you must, only if you must, reveal it to your most faithful ones; the rest could learn when your stomach was too big to deny.
If you do so, keep your baby hidden from the world, safe from those that harbor nothing but pain and sorrow⊠all will be fine. Eiichi promises so.
âŠ
Or so, thatâs what everyone hoped wouldâve happened, because if thereâs one thing to be learned from this incident, is that no matter how cautious you were, word of your pregnancy still managed to land in the wrong ears, and now, were actively against it.
The question no longer pertained as to how, but rather, who; who was the author of this terrible act?
The notion that someone of Naoyaâs relatives, indirectly informed through Naobitoâs⊠drunken rambles, soon crosses the minds of your father and husband. If so, it would make sense as to why theyâd use an innocent staff member to do the deed, keep their hands clean of the whole situation, instead of going to bigger extremes.
Itâs the most probable of the theories, but they could not annul the following: jealousy from the servants.
Naoya considered that statement to be the most delusional one your father couldâve gathered, but heâd be wise to remember how others perceive himâor more like what he represented. It wouldnât be too far-fetched that others would desire what he had, or him, in some cases. And naturally, youâre an obstacle to that goal, your baby even more soâŠ
It wasnât fair, but it was your reality.
Nonetheless, Eiichi and Naoya will still do whatever it takes to keep you safe.
âItâs just for a few days, pumpkin.â Your father would say upon seeing the sadness in your face, which remained even when reassured that Naoya would be with you as soon as possible. âBesides, youâre going to see your brother and sister tooâtheyâve missed you very much, you know? Theyâve been wanting to spoil you and their future niece, or nephew!â
You smile, itâs good that even when in the storm, your family is still able to exude happiness. You could only imagine how enthusiastic theyâd be when the baby was finally here.
âI know⊠I missed them too.â You admit, before looking over to Naoya one last time. âWell⊠I hope that whatever is keeping you here is quickly dealt with.â
âYou wonât even notice Iâm gone.â Naoya promises, placing a kiss on your forehead. âDonât worry your pretty little head about anythingâbefore you know it, youâll be back at the estate, with me.â
Thatâs a promise he unfortunately, doesnât know if will become true inside the promised timeline, but will do anything in his power so it does.
Either way, itâs safe to say that Naoya did manage to keep one part of his promiseâand that would be the one where he reassured you wouldnât even notice his absence, done through sending you endless amounts of gifts, every day, effectively filling your room to the brim with all things heâd knew youâd like, and some for baby too: from clothes for you, to cute onesies heâd like his baby to wear when she was finally here.
âYou still think the baby is going to be a girl?â youâd ask through one of the many videocalls heâd makeâone daily, at the very least. âWait a minute⊠you better not have spoiled me!â
âI just knowâ He reiterates with shrug; you roll your eyes. âIf not, then Iâll have lots of things to return.â
âWell, if itâs worth anything, I also feel like our baby is going to be a girl.â You smile, warming up Naoyaâs heart. âI canât wait to meet herâI just know sheâs going to have your eyes!â
âOr yours, I hope.â He longs, you blush. âHave you been eating well, my love?â
âYes; and no allergies yet.â You explain, Naoya feels relievedâat least the problem didnât follow you there. âMaybe I was just unlucky that day, Naoya⊠Are you sure I canât return to the estate yet?â
âNot until Iâm sure youâre going to be safe here.â Naoya responds, and while his words are meant to be comforting, you canât shake off the sense that something worse happened; that something far bigger than a simple allergy had struck you, specially with the way your staff and family would act around you, going as far as denying you of any information pertaining to the Zenâin.
But⊠if your husband had a reason to not say anything now, then the best you could do is trust him. The truth will come out eventually, you suppose. So instead you could focus on other pressing matters.
âWell, at least donât send me too many gifts.â You continued. âWhile I appreciate them, between you and my father, I donât think my house has enough room to store all the things youâve both given me.â
âWhoâs given you more things? Me or your dad?â Naoya nonchalantly asks, you gasp.
âNaoya! Thatâs not theâtake it seriously! Control yourself with the gifts, ok?â you say, he chuckles, but ends up agreeing; at least until the topic has quieted down, because thereâs no way in hell heâs going to let your father win the upper hand like that one day ever again. âOr at least save them to when Iâm back at the estate⊠which I hope is soon.â
âAlmost there.â Naoya says. âJust a few more things, and weâll be together once again.â
⊠even if the answer was to be the same, you still needed to ask.
âIs⊠everything ok?â
Not precisely, not when he has yet to find out the one responsible for all thisâŠ
But heâs gotten a lead, an idea of where to start, of who to huntâwhich he knows heâll find in record time thanks to the fury he harbors, further motivating him to do this as quickly and precisely as possible just so heâd have you back home, with him.
âNothing you should worry about.â He reiterates. âJust keep focusing on your health, the baby, and not doing anything strenuous.â
âIâm just pregnant, Naoya⊠nothing extraordinary. I still want to help around., you know?â
âI know, and youâll be able to do that and more in due time, but for now, keep safe, for me, ok? And our little mochi.â
âWhen will I see you again?â you ask again, hoping that perhaps this time around, the answer will be different.
âSoon.â He promises. âSoon, my love.â
Once he deals with the bastard that hurt you.
Naoya will give them nothing but a glimpse of the sorrow and pain theyâd put you through, his furyâmake their life a living hell, make them regret the foolish idea that they could ever get away from it; and still, he doesnât think heâll be satisfied with his revenge.
Heâd want more, heâd want everyone to know that his family are not ones to mess around with.
Heâd burn the whole world to set the message across if necessaryâand that would only be the bare minimum for you, the love of his life, and now, his babyâŠ
His home.
#ask#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x you#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#prompt series: jujutsu kaisen
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Watching Are You Sure?! EP 1
A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally as a happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!
The episode starts with Jimin showing up right before JKs GMA performance and interview, July 14th 2023.
Them meeting up and talking about how he has his performance in NY on GMA later. Jimin saying that he hadn't seen him in a while, their schedules kept them SO BUSY đđ this trip was so good for them. And the way he caressed JKs throat and told him to rest his voice and take care of it since it had been hurting. đ„ș So many soft touches too as soon as they were able to see each other again. And we didn't even get to see their actual reunion.
JK packing up his hotel room and talking about how he never traveled so freely before. They are so sweet and so busy and I'm so glad they were able to carve out even just a few weekends for time to themselves. And the way when the staff was talking to them about plans and who would drive etc, JK said he would drive and was just sitting there talking about traffic while they were holding hands interlocked resting in Jimins lap đ that's so??!!
Then fighting over the AC in the car in efforts to take care of the other is so cute. Jimin wanting to make sure JKs throat stayed okay, JK not wanting Jimin to get sick. They baby the heck out of each other. And Jimin watching his GMA performance on his phone đ„° JKs cute smile while Jimin was jamming out to his music đ„ș
"JungJi" new ship name alert?! Lmao!
JK ordering for the table đ
The absolute bickering over who is a bad driver/bad at parking. The get out. Lmao the way they absolutely irritate each other on purpose is amazing and soooo best friends/might as well be married behavior đđ€Ł
When they went shopping together and JK said they should buy the same shorts together đđ„° matchy matchy always!!
And an ARMY recognized them and saying hello and they were so cutely excited about it. "We've still got it." đđ„șđ„°
JK ordering for them again at the brewery đ„° and I love that they went to an LGBTQ friendly brewery for one of their first hang out spots. Some ARMYs went and talked to the people working and said they everyone said Jikook were super polite, no one had recognized them and they kept to themselves a bit and just had some phones/go pros for recording.
The way that they also started talking about how this was their trip before military service. And how JK started bonking Jimin over the head with his camera when he mentioned it. Jimin was giggling but you KNOW that they was emotional from it too. This was when they were thinking there was still a chance they would be separated for 2 years. I know they were anxious to get to cherish this time spent together. I know it meant SO much to them both and probably so much to JK that Jimin traveled all this way and made it happen.
The way that JKs kayak tipped over immediately and Jimin just was cackling as he continued to paddle away and the staff were fishing JK out of the lake đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł just for JK to furiously row up on him and be like "you have your phone?? Tip over!!" đ€Łđ€Ł They are so funny and cute! And Jimin taking a photo of his baby đ the way Jimin spent the whole time on the water just laughing and smiling fondly at everything JK would do. It's so freaking sweet. They just really had so much fun together being silly and goofy.
Not Jimin giving JK the "you come here often?" Pick up line and the immediate roleplay they both get into đ
đ€Łđ they really can't go too long without at least a little bit of flirting lol
We know there was a getaway cabin with a 2 bed option but Jikook picked the one with just one bed. Lmfao good for them. Hey BH, we know you have no issues with filming the members while they sleep, even while they share the bed. How come we got zero footage of Jikook sharing the bed? đđ
Jimin being like "JK, you are a good cook đ„ș" and Jungkook just immediately getting to work on cooking them dinner đ„șđ although when Jimin asked for a taste, why did JK feed him from his FINGER?! Lmfao and what the hell was the noise he made when Jimin licked his finger đđ€Ł half moan, half laugh? I don't even know lmao
And the way he ran to go feed Jimin a piece of the chicken because he was proud of how his cooking was turning out. Sooo cute. Jimin accidentally dropped a piece of chicken and acted like he committed a great offence đđ the way they spilt dinner duties though was so cutely domestic.
JK speaking directly to the camera to speak to the viewers. Man has done too many hours long live streams. Lmao he is too used to just chatting with ARMYs đ€Łđ that was adorable and Jimin thought so too. And the way Jimin goes "I miss V" and JK immediately is like "let's call him!" Anything to make Jimin smile! But they clearly cut so much of that convo, BH, give me my members loving each other istg I miss them too much. And don't even get me started on the yoonminkook conversation. I genuinely almost teared up. I miss BTS so much đ their laughter is healing
Jimin getting a stomach bug đđ my poor baby. And the screen just going black while Jikook cuddle?? The give us minimal Audio and a black screen and then they cut away entirely and we KNOW they are cuddling. Lmfao TF BH!! We know they cuddle, where is my fanservice?! And JK turned over at some point and elbowed Jimin in the nose. You KNOW they were all up in each other's business on that bed for that to happen đđđ
And my poor Jimmie... He feels so bad đđ JK is taking such sweet care of him though.
JK outside stacking rocks while Jimin rests is giving me Yumi vibes. Lmfao I love him (and her!) SO MUCH! The way he prayed after too for a good trip with Jimin. The rock tower is also (correct me here if needed) a way to pray for someone's health and well-being. My poor sick Jiminie. Yumi also used the rock towers as ways to pray and communicate with her Gods.
Wrap up thoughts?
Not much I haven't already said honestly. Lol but just more emphasis on how special this trip is, both to Jikook themselves and for us to have it shared with us. This IS comfort TV. They bring each other such peace and happiness. They both banter and tease and have such fun. They both baby the heck out of the other. JK taking care of a sick Jimin was soooo nice seeing. The way Jimin wasn't feeling good, but rallied in order to have a good time for their weekend away.
It's also interesting that so much of this is honestly filmed from GoPro. They have some staff and crew there, but from what I've seen it's a smaller number than normally goes to film these shows and they are left alone with just installed cameras fairly often. That's extra nice for them. đ
I am and forever will be salty about all the cuts. The Tae face time was cut short, the cuddling was cut, so much was cut. Which duh, I get why. But I still want more đ looking forward to the behinds to see if we get anything more. That black screen cut from them cuddling though was đđđđ
JK was such a good leader and took charge so much so far this trip. It was cool to see, Jimin ALSO thought so! The way he was speak for both of them, drove them around, ordered food and drinks for them, gave dinner prep instructions. Gave Jimin his medicine.... I'm not saying it's hyung behavior.... But... Lol also I did notice that there was a pretty even split of address between him calling Jimin hyung, or just by his name. Along with all the little random bits of flirting sprinkled through the episode lol so cute..
Hope you guys enjoyed it!! And thanks for reading all my random thoughts! Onto episode 2!
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why do i see cheerleader reader having daddy issues, so when she tells rafe sheâs pregnant, sheâs so emotional and scared about how heâs gonna react and if heâs gonna break up with her or something
it tracks đ„ș she always expects to be disappointed by men and itâs not just because every guy sheâs dated before rafe has treated her badlyâŠ
based on this fic
when she moves in with rafe after she finishes her post-grad internship, sheâs still on the pill. one day, sheâs complaining about the side effects of it as sheâs making herself lunch and her boyfriend says, âthen stop taking it.â
she looks at him from across the kitchen.
âweâd have to use protection,â she says. âevery time.â
âsure. but is it so bad ifâŠ?â
sheâs shocked. theyâve been together for about two years now and theyâve never talked about kids past a mention of itâd be nice to be parents some day.
âif i get pregnant?â she says.
âyeah.â
âisnât that fast?â
ânot for me. is it fast for you?â
she shrugs. maybe itâs not so crazy. they have their future set. a child would be a nice addition. they havenât talked about marriage, but sheâs in no rush. they donât have to be married to have a baby.
âif we both want it⊠i guess if it happens, it happens,â she mumbles. âbut our lives would change really, really drastically.â
âi know,â rafe says comfortingly.
she continues to make herself food and he stares at her, imagining her with a baby bump and that bump turning into a little human whoâs a mix of him and the person he loves most.
he knows sheâd be a great mom. and heâs always wanted to be a dad. heâs always wanted to undo how his own father had raised him, making his only son have to struggle for his fleeting approval.
three months later, she misses her period. she doesnât tell rafe. she picks up a pregnancy test. she doesnât tell him that, either. when she sees the double lines on the test, sheâs standing in the middle of their bathroom, her body trembling.
and she hates that she doesnât feel excited. sheâs scared. she thought she wanted this. she hoped for a positive. but this isnât the feeling she thought sheâd have.
she goes through the motions of ordering a custom newborn basketball jersey with cameron stitched on the back, having dreamed of telling rafe that theyâre expecting that way.
a couple of days later, it comes in the mail. she has actually sort of liked keeping the secret while she waited because it meant she could pretend it wasnât real yet.
she does what she thinks she should do. she puts the tiny shirt in a bag, sets up her phone to record, and calls him over to tell him something came for him. this is what a woman whoâs excited to tell him would do, she tells herself.
at first, when rafe opens the bag, he doesnât say anything. his jaw goes slack, he blinks a bunch of times, and then he pulls her in for a tight hug.
sheâs already shaking, tears in her eyes, when she hears him sniffle. he pulls back. his hands are firm on her cheeks, gazing at her through glossy blue eyes.
âyouâre happy?â she whispers.
âyeah,â he responds, saying it like itâs obvious. âwe wanted this, right?â
rafe stills for a moment when he sees just how anguished she looks. she doesnât seem happy at all.
âright?â he repeats.
âyeah,â she says, nodding and looking down. âi donât know. itâs weird. maybe itâs the hormones already.â
âhow long have you known? do you feel okay?â
âjust a couple days,â she says. âiâm tired. a little nauseous. but he hasnât made me throw up yet.â
âhe?â
she meets her boyfriendâs eyes.
âi know itâs too soon to tell,â she says, âbut i really hope itâs a boy. youâll feel more connected to a boy.â
he can tell by the way sheâs stuttering and crying that somethingâs wrong.
âbaby,â he mumbles. âiâll feel connected no matter what. itâs my kid.â
she shudders, nodding through her sobs.
âwhatâs up?â rafe says softly. âdo you⊠are you regretting it?â
âno,â she replies, âbut are you sure you want this?â
âyes. we talked about it,â he reminds her. âitâs not like this was an accident.â
âyeah,â she mumbles, looking down at her lap again.
rafe stares at her, slightly shaking his head in disbelief. sheâs acting like this was unexpected. like sheâs wishing they never started trying.
âwhat is it?â he says. âif you donât want this, then just tell me.â
she curls up, slouching as she dips her head into her hands, the tears coming harder now.
âif it gets hardâŠâ she whimpers, her voice muffled. âyou canât leave me to do it on my own. you canât.â
heâs floored. they havenât mentioned anything about the possibility of things not working out with them in ages. and back when they did, it was almost always rafe needing reassurance that she wasnât planning on leaving him.
âi would never do that,â he says. âlook at me.â his fingers wrap around her wrists, pulling her hands down from her face.
âwhereâs this coming from?â rafe mumbles. âdid i do something?â
he thinks back to the past few days, trying to remember if he said something even in passing that would make her worry about him abandoning his girl and their baby.
the look in his eyes almost looks like betrayal. like he canât believe sheâs saying this.
she swallows hard, coming to terms with whatâs been swimming in her head for days now. her father was absent. the only example she had of a dad was one who never really acted like he wanted a kid at all.
âi donât know what it looks like,â she begins, âwhen a man actually wants to be a dad. maybe youâre excited now, but what if when it gets hard? when heâs crying or sick or keeping us awake?â
âweâll deal with it,â he says. he pushes past his own ache to try to understand her.
his cups her hands in his, searching her face with concerned eyes. he remembers her opening up to him long ago about how she always wondered if her dad would have loved her more if she was a son instead of a daughter.
âwhen he or she is giving us hell, weâll deal with it,â he says. âi love them already. thereâs nothing thatâll change that.â
he puts a hand on her stomach, rubbing gently. she finally cracks a smile, softly laughing. his chest loses its tightness when he sees her look happy for the first time since he got home.
âi was reading that itâs the size of a pomegranate seed right now,â she says.
he smiles in awe, kissing her wet cheek.
âwhatâs next?â he asks. âwhat appointments do we make? what should you be eating?â
she laughs again. rafe has always been so intense, so focused on the next step.
âlet me catch my breath first,â she teases. she looks over, just now remembering she filmed all this.
âmy bad, baby,â he laughs. âbreathe. thisâll be good, alright?â
âalright,â she says. and she believes it.
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THIS IS ALL MY FAULT | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | requests or let's talk!
sebastian vettel x platonic!photographer!reader
based on this request: Okay! So after watching the run Sebastian organized at Imola, I has the idea of reader being someone that works for him (not sure what for though) maybe getting really sick for running in the rain that day, which ends up with Sebastian feeling guilty over it. Itâs a silly idea, really, but I think it has a lot of potential to vibes similar to what Sebastian seems to have with the drivers, kind of playing dad to the grid đ„ș.
summary: you work as a photographer during the forever senna tribute seb prepared, but you end up being sick
word count: 1618
warnings: none of them really! seb feeling guilty because he thinks reader got sick because of him.
a/n: I'm finally back! sorry for not posting at all during all this past month, university has had me really stressed but I'm finally free from it until september! idk if this is actually something well written because i haven't written anything for a month! also, hope you anon like this even it's definitely crap đ
© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
The rain kept falling on the circuit, but that wasn't such an excuse for Sebastian and his team to cancel what they had been working on for months.
The run that the retired driver had decided to organize on Thursday not only with Formula 1 drivers, but also with those from Formula 2 and 3, and even other members of the sport, in honor of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger, was more than perfect. It was an absolute success. And Sunday, when Vettel would drive the car that once belonged to the Brazilian pilot who died 30 years ago on that same circuit, hadn't even arrived yet.
You had been busy taking photos of everything, as you were Sebastian's official photographer. Now, you were gathering all the equipment you had used because the cold you were enduring was barely bearable. You had been out in the rain all day, following Seb wherever he went, which had made you feel increasingly worse. Now, your hands couldn't stop shaking, and you felt like you were about to faint at any moment.
"Y/N, are you okay?" one of the team members asked.
"Yes, of course," you replied with a weak smile. "I'm just a bit cold. I'll be back to be the same me as soon as we get back to the hotel."
The man nodded, not wanting to press you further despite not being very convinced by your words after seeing your completely pale face.
You decided to continue with your work, ignoring anyone who approached you to exchange even the slightest word. You tried to ignore the growing headache, the fatigue, and the tightness in your chest, which seemed to be worsening. Although the rain had stopped and you were in one of the garages, the sky remained dark.
You were surprised to see Sebastian, still wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, just a few meters away from you. You shook your head, trying not to pay attention, and certainly not to worry. He was just your "boss," so to speak, and he was old enough to know what he needed to do to avoid getting sick. Well, he also had Britta, who was like a second mother to him.
A sharp pain pierced your temples. You staggered slightly, and if it hadn't been for your momentum making you lean your back against the wall behind you, you would have fallen to the ground.
"For God's sake, Y/N, you look terrible," he said as calmly as he could, though you could sense his nerves in his tone of voice. "You should go and have a rest. Like⊠now."
"Seb, we still have a lot to do. It's not just packing up the equipment, but also transferring the photos to the computer, editing them, then preparing the posts for you Instagram account..."
"Y/N, I love your work, but you've done more than enough for today," he interrupted, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers carefully over it. "Now, I'll talk to Britta and we'll assign it to someone who knows what they're doing, okay?"
For a moment, you considered protesting, reproaching him that this was your job, and that's why he wanted you on his team since shortly before leaving Aston Martin, but the way he looked at you made you stop. He seemed worried, very worried. That's why you ended up not only reluctantly accepting but also letting him guide you to a nearby chair.
"Stay here. I'll bring you something warm."
As you watched Seb walk away, you sighed, managing to relax somehow. You saw him enter the Red Bull hospitality, and you assumed it was where he felt most comfortable. A few minutes later, you saw the blonde with two small steaming cardboard cups. As he reached your height, he offered you one of them.
"Thank you," you murmured, wrapping your hands around the cup and taking a sip. Chocolate, something you loved, and Seb knew it perfectly.
"Do you promise you'll go back to the hotel as soon as you finish your hot chocolate?"
"I promise," you assured him. "But I can't promise that..."
"Y/N, just no work for today," he cut in, seeing that you weren't going to fulfill what you had promised. "I want you to spend today and tomorrow resting. Sunday will be a tough day for us. You can do it, at least for me, or am I wrong?"
You nodded your head as if you were seven years old again. You knew you were going to rest as much as you could in your hotel room, but that didn't mean you weren't going to do anything. As you had already planned, you were obviously going to continue with your work. You couldn't disappoint Sebastian, not on such an important weekend like this.
[...]
Sebastian accompanied you to the door of your room, and despite having exchanged a couple of messages with you on Friday, having let you rest all afternoon and part of Saturday morning, and having agreed that you would come to a meeting room in the hotel at 12pm on Saturday to finalize the details of tomorrow's tribute, he didn't see you there.
"Have you seen Y/N?" he asked Britta directly, a little distressed. "She told me she would come with no doubt."
"And she did come," the ex-pilot's PR commented, "but I sent her back to her room as soon as I saw her shivering. Her forehead was burning, and she said she had a slight fever. It wasnât just a slight fever, Seb," Britta assured him.
The man nodded but became even more worried. Quickly bidding farewell to Roeske, he headed towards your room. He saw the door slightly ajar, possibly your mistake. He knocked softly before entering, and the sight that greeted his eyes made him feel bad instantly.
You were curled up in bed, trembling uncontrollably. You had a small towel on your forehead with cold water to see if you could control your body temperature since you couldn't take your medicine again until the corresponding hours had passed, which was already the next day.
Your face was completely flushed, and your breathing was labored.
As soon as you realized Seb's presence, your eyes welled up with tears. You tried to force a smile, but all that came out were tears from how bad you felt not only for Seb to see you like this but also for ruining something so important.
"Seb... You didn't have to come," you stammered, your voice barely audible.
"Of course, I did! Don't be ridiculous!" he responded quickly, sitting beside you. He placed a hand on your forehead and realized Britta was right. "My God, Y/N, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling so bad?"
"I... didn't want to worry you," you admitted between tears of frustration and exhaustion. "Tomorrow is an important day. You need to be resting to give your best tomorrow. There are people who have come just for you, Seb, you can't let them down."
You noticed him tense a bit at the mention. His lips curved, and his jaw tightened. He took a deep breath and took your hand almost without thinking.
"This is my fault..." he whispered softly. He seemed overwhelmed with guilt, and much of it. You cursed yourself for making him think that when it was all really your fault. "Nothing is more important than your health, Y/N. I'm so sorry, really..."
"Seb, it's okay, really. These things happen; it's completely normal. There's probably someone else like me..."
His silence was the response you partly expected, but it didn't hurt until you saw him shake his head.
"I just wanted to give my best so that the photos would turn out perfect and you would have content worthy of all the work you've put into this..." was all you could say.
"You're already the best, Y/N," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "In fact, you're so perfect that you should stop being so perfect to start worrying more about yourself. And since you don't worry about yourself... let me do it for you, okay?"
Although you didn't agree with him and didn't believe you deserved his praise, you were too weak to argue.
Sebastian stayed with you all day, including the night. He made sure you were as comfortable as possible, brought you water, and soaked the cold cloth in water to lower your fever as soon as possible, miraculously something that worked. He didn't leave your side, not even when you had a coughing fit or sneezed without covering your mouth.
Your fever began to lower in the late hours of that day. Your breath calmed down, and the color seemed to return to your cheeks. Seb sighed with relief, quickly hugging you while continuously placing small kisses on your face and playing with your hair, making you laugh incessantly.
After ordering room service for dinner, since your appetite seemed to have returned, you fell asleep, at least apparently. To avoid disturbing you, Seb went from lying down next to you to reclining on a sofa next to the bed. His eyes were heavy with tiredness, but that didn't stop him from staying alert in case you needed his help.
"Rest, Y/N," he whispered, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before caressing it. "I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner for the damages I caused."
You smiled at the last thing Seb had said, grateful that every time you got sick, you didn't fall into a deep sleep, and wishing that what Seb had said was true.
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