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drrutherford · 20 days ago
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LOCATION — The Rutherford Estate, Kingston Upon Thames. DATE — October 25, 2024. Later that day. STARTER — closed for @cassandra-acton
Oh, he's still mad at her.
Deeply annoyed, in fact, especially when he'd found Spencer clowning around in a similar shirt not five minutes after leaving Cassie outside of that marquee tent, earlier in the day. But given the incessant yo-yo that forms the baseline of their relationship, it's easy enough to cast his irritation aside when he finds out who she'll be sharing a tent with, tonight. Bigger fish to fry, and all that, knowing her stance on the Russians.
So he looks for her on and off throughout the day, which is so much harder than it was in the morning, given the sea of people that have amassed on the grounds since then. It's early evening by the time he tracks her down, and from the look on Cassandra's face as she marches towards her camp site, his misgivings don't seem far off.
"Cass, hey... Slow down." She's got the gait of a soldier heading into certain doom, and he's a little winded. Too much checking in, too much running around, as Adriana would say. "I know you probably get tired of hearing this, but he's not like the rest of them."
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Gideon cringes inwardly, wary she might lambaste him for it. He's guilty of using the same excuse for Mila in the past; for some of his family, too. Cassandra's face is partly obscured, but he tries to spy out her expression, nonetheless.
"He wouldn't hurt you. I really believe that. But if you want me to talk to Diana..."
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kathonyy · 8 months ago
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KATE SHARMA and ELOISE BRIDGERTON in BRIDGERTON SEASON 2
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ourpretender · 3 months ago
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— coffee shop. @woozyhere
oliver is an expert at coasting, unnoticed. he never means to (and hardly enjoys it) but the benefits of such a skill rare their bitter heads on occasion, and in this one, it is a lingering eye full. opposing oliver in this social structure, is stuart; towering in height and talkative to an occasional fault. he makes it look easy, sidles through circles like there is a spot in every conversation, minted and made for him. and he leaves each fulfilled, checkmarked, stamped with flying colours. still it isn't jealousy that drowns oliver, but interest. he doesn't consider himself a lost cause just yet — only that the calculations, the plans that will knit them together (forceful or otherwise) — have yet to be set in motion. another day's patience, another week's research. oliver needles in long enough to forget his place, and his peering eyes come up, noticed.
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shevaults · 6 months ago
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a rad storm churns outside and nora is restless. they'd been waylaid by it on the way to a settlement that had requested help, and luckily, nora had stumbled upon a small bunker on her travels in this area in the past. they'd ushered inside, dogmeat sniffing the floor as he went on ahead of them ... but waiting out the storm was proving harder than she'd thought. the vault-dweller grumbles under her breath, kicking over a tin can in frustration. " how long left is there to wait? " she demands, flexing her fingers into fists before she throws herself down in on the aged sofa opposite hancock. it's her first time experiencing a rad-storm and it's the first time she's stopped since setting foot out of vault 111; the hunt for shaun is always on her mind, and only when it gets too much does she deal with whatever problem the minutemen need dealing with. now, with nothing to do except exist in the space they currently occupy, she hates it.
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the gleam of the wedding ring on her finger catches in the light as she sits back and folds her vault-suit garbed arms, her blue eyes meeting hancock's. " i might just go out there, " she lies—and she probably would, if it wouldn't endanger dogmeat. / @victorycola
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infernal-lightning · 9 months ago
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💅 from my own reblog ♡
//bc they rlly need to interact ❤️ hope ydm!
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This was quite possibly the strangest thing she had ever agreed to do. Photographing all sorts of morbid scenes? Fine. Killing for her art? Dandy.
But having Angel Dust paint her nails in his room like they were at some sort of childish sleepover? The kind she had grown up hearing about but never participated in?
Very. Strange.
Still - she had an event coming up, had offhandedly mentioned needing to look her best, listed off getting her nails done as one of many errands to run over the next few days...And next she knew the porn star was dragging her upstairs.
"Had I known you were this enthusiastic about the whole thing, darling, I'd have asked you sooner," the feline sinner lied with an easy smile. In truth, doing things like this alone suited her best - doing most things alone was preferable. But making nice at the Hotel would ensure her place here for longer... so she begrudgingly played along.
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Not that she'd ever let that show, of course - no, right now her face was one of picturesque relaxation, watching Angel as he meticulously worked on each nail.
"You're rather decent at this, you know," she observed casually, carefully crossing one leg to not jostle her hand nor his efforts. "Something you do often?"
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abysscs · 8 months ago
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CLOSED TO: H. GRACE. ( @shctsfired ) 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄.    9 years into the apocalypse and reuven has been trailing a stranger for the entire past day after she unknowingly entered his "territory". he is looking to catch her when she's off-guard and loot what she has.
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     𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐕𝐄, high, amongst the trees. It is melody of crow and sparrow, and they both call out into the evening for sustenance. Reuven's call is much quieter. Silent. And it is of boots crunching ever so slightly upon fallen leaves and rustled foliage where he pressed through, following, at a distance, after the stranger.
     It did not seem to him that she'd realized she'd crossed into his self-proclaimed territory. After all, his warning signal of strung up bodies on tree branches, shredded flesh dangling, well... that wasn't always as much of a get out sign as he might have liked it to be. Yet, still, Reuven was not a forgiving man. Not anymore. And crossing over into his space had held with it the sentence of which he should have applied some years ago, when he still had his children alongside him: death. Get too close, and he would not hesitate. Others' lives, to him, had dwindled in their worth. Down to nothing. Down to peace of mind, even. Yes, he would and had killed people, just to have the peace of mind that they would not attack him in the night.
     So far he had strayed from the man he once was. Where was that kind and patient father? Emotionally sound and firm yet loving? Whoever that was, Reuven today was just an echo of him. Some snuffed out and blurred version of him. Reuven had lost himself to the dead, and he wasn't sure there was a coming back, after the things he'd seen. The things he'd done.
     So there she was—this other survivor, and unlucky for her, she'd crossed over his invisible line, and earned herself a tail. He'd been following her for the better part of the afternoon—just far off enough that he could hide quickly when she glanced behind her shoulder. For the first few miles, she hadn't noticed him, and then he could see it, in her stature: she knew she was being followed. That didn't stop him. He would take any opportunity to amass more supplies for himself. Wherever she was headed, he was going too.
     In his arms, he cradled a black, military-grade carbine. Didn't have many bullets left, but all he really needed was one. It was as the dead came upon her that he stopped, to observe how she fought, and find some weakness he could use later. Did she stumble over her steps? Did she have an injured limb? Anything. He stared, from behind the rifle's raised barrel, deadpan, ready to shoot should the dead notice him amongst the brush. Or should she.
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10ccs · 1 year ago
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@recovened
sam has two glasses of red in hand. it wouldn’t surprise most people to discover him double-fisting two glasses of red wine at the afterparty of an awards ceremony, but they weren’t both for him. 
he spotted taylor from across the room in the middle of doing shots with his bandmates. the heathens took home an award for best original song and he was prepared to spend the rest of the night celebrating with them when his eyes landed on her and, as usual, couldn’t bear to look away.
“fancy meeting you here, doll.” he sidles up to her with a languid smile on his face, looking her up and down before finally meeting her eyes and offering out the glass of wine. he’s shameless, as always. “want a drink?”
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inkymonsters · 11 months ago
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@simplyhuntleys asked: "You're lucky you can draw...I do shitty job at drawing. I'm lucky enough that I'm able to draw a freakin' stick man!" (For Henry - Unprompted)
A SOFT CHUCKLE escaped the man’s lips as he looked up from his drawing, meeting Huntley’s gaze. “Well, I appreciate that. But honestly, it just takes practice.” Henry had always considered himself to be an AVERAGE artist — up until college, where he’d found his passion in cartoons. He was more confident now, though he still didn’t like to brag about it.
But compliments were always appreciated, so Henry smiled warmly. “I think I’ve seen you around the music department a time or two. Are you a musician? Or am I misremembering? Sorry, there’s A LOT of new faces around here lately.”
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dualitytransformation · 9 months ago
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@monmuses asked: (random lines of dialogue prompts) "i'm fascinated by what happened in your fourteen minutes of absence." lizzie to jekyll
THERE WASN’T EVEN AN EXCUSE this time; Jekyll knew that. He’d never been good with being ON TIME; it was one of the many things that threatened to jeopardize his reputation. Before the experiment, he’d actually been trying to WORK ON IT, to work on keeping track of time so he could LEAVE on time. Unfortunately, that practice had quickly come to a halt after… everything.
“I’M TERRIBLY SORRY,” he apologized, quickly lowering his gaze as he entered the room. God, it was humiliating to be late. He despised having everyone else’s eyes on him. He couldn’t help being ANNOYED at Lizzie for bringing more attention to it, but he supposed it was only fair, so he just sat down next to her, then turned his full attention to the presenter — IGNORING the voice in his head that was mocking him for being late to ‘such an important nerd presentation.’
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fantasywritten · 1 year ago
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@monmuses ❤️ (for Muriel)
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THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULD DO. Jekyll had tried as hard as he could to fight Hyde, to stop the beast from taking control, to END IT once and for all. But it was hopeless. The ingredients he so desperately needed were an ocean away, and by the time they came, half the population of London would likely be wiped out. The only solace Jekyll had was those fleeting moments of control, those moments where Hyde would temporarily relent — and even those moments would END FAR TOO QUICKLY.
Perhaps Jekyll shouldn’t have been wasting his time on something as desperate as prayer, but at this point, he had nothing else to lose. Clasping his hands together, he fell to his knees, ignoring the TAUNTING VOICE inside his head that laughed at him for such a seemingly fruitless effort. “God… you must help me CARRY ON. Please…” His eyes closed, and he felt a rush of emotions threatening to spill out. But Jekyll held them back, instead opting to beg for something more. “Send me a solution… SOMETHING that will help, please… I cannot let anyone else die. I am desperate, God, SO DESPERATE…”
When he opened his eyes, he was no longer alone in the room. Eyes widening, Jekyll scrambled backwards, at first in surprise, then in FEAR. “Who are you?” He hadn’t heard anyone come in. “How did you… how did you get in here? WHO LET YOU IN?”
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planet4546b · 2 years ago
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image id: 8 digital paintings i have made in 2022, all featuring my original characters or characters from destiny 2. the art is characterized by bright colors and intense lighting, and most of the characters are seen from the waist or shoulders up, facing the camera. at the center is a photo of a white person standing on an overlook looking over a river and smiling, facing slightly away from the camera.
art vs artist 2022!!!! a year of going Oh my god i need to get silly with colors
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deathmaiidens · 2 years ago
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@enjoytheglow
"Wow, this place looks swank! Or should that be swell? I dunno the difference yet." Lily laughed self-consciously.
"Your guess is as good as mine, dear." Victoria gave her daughter a pat on the shoulder and exchanged a look with her husband, both as confused by all this Americana as ever.
Still, ever since their rambunctious Lily had been born, they'd been thrust into all manner of adventures. Victoria couldn't say she didn't enjoy it sometimes. After all, there was a bit of an adventuress in her heart, too, despite her very prim-and-proper upbringing and demeanor.
She stepped further into the Five and Dime, one delicate hand clutching her exuberant daughter's and one assuringly clutching Victor's. The sounds of jazz music soothed his nerves a little for their familiarity. While the young father normally preferred classical, it was nice to know there were places above ground full of the same energy and life as the Ball & Socket Lounge.
Something else that was familiar caught Lily's attention. "They're playing 'All The Cats Join In'!"
"All the what -- Lily!"
The child let go of her parents' hands with a little giggle, dashing around the dancing teenagers and leaping right up to the counter. She spun herself around in her chair a couple of times before looking at the menu. As she decided on just what she'd get to satisfy her sweet tooth (and of course, waited for her befuddled parents to catch up to her), she sang along to the music, tapping her fingers on the countertop and swinging her legs.
"What have we told you about running off, young lady?" Victoria scolded her daughter gently as she finally came around, a dizzied Victor in tow.
"It wasn't that far away!" Lily insisted laughingly.
"Just when did you say your friend was meeting us here?" Victor had been scanning the sea of young faces for the neighbor woman he'd heard so much about.
"Shouldn't be too long now - Oh! There she is! MAE, OVER HERE!"
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ofherbalisms · 1 year ago
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closed starter to @slavghters ! location: the farm
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  CALLOUSED FINGERS GRIP tightly to box, filled to near overflow with gourds and pumpkins. So frivolous the tradition of pumpkin carving seems now to him, with the demand of caloric intakes needing to be filled. A gourd makes a hearty soup. A pumpkin—creamy curries and savory desserts. That's not even considering the seeds, some to be roasted for high-protein snacking, and others to continue the cycle of life and death in the bodies of their population. He fervently protests the concept of a pumpkin carve. The idea makes his abdomen knot up; anxiety, blooming and wretched, for if they are not ahead then they risk famine knocking on their gates—a bailiff to revoke their lives at last; a reaper to beckon them to the other side. Nevermind his lack of Halloween traditions—his objection now is purely from a numbers standpoint.
  No. Reuven feels personally responsible for keeping food in the mouths of all their population now. Even if they have plenty of seeds and are meticulous in their farming and he and Astoria work like a well oiled machine together; even if the greenhouse is fragrant and the farm is flourishing and there is no forseeable shortage in grains, vegetables, meat or herbs, he still holds this worry that it will all go up in smoke one day and they need to be ahead. Always ahead. He thinks of the families, whose children survived the horrors outside, and imagines them going hungry. He remembers how desperate, how devastating, how hopeless it had felt to hear the words I'm hungry from his own child and have been able to do nothing about it. His hope is that not even one parent will have to hear the same from their kin behind these gates. It feels viscerally wrong to gather up gourds and pass them out with no absolutes that once they're done being carved, that they'll make onto a stove. It has kept his expression soured all afternoon, rather than its usual stoic.
  Though it is an autumn raging with cooled winds and crisped leaves, a sweat has developed upon his forehead and chest. He'd spent the morning tending to the herbs, the afternoon planting and now harvesting in the farm, and then would go up on the watch tower to keep himself occupied, because being in his solitude in that dorm room functioned only to fester woes. He's calling Astoria's name, to alert her to a localized infestation of aphids on the tomatoes—if they handle it now they'll be able to save the fruit. He's going to suggest ladybugs, but as he takes his concentration on the farmer, he notices a pile of dirt too late. His footing skips, balance fails, and he, and the twenty-something gourds go tumbling through resting leaves and stems. He's caught his fall, but not quickly enough to avoid being covered in dirt, and it surprises him. Not just because it was unexpected but because it is so unusual for him—he is normally pervasively observant of his surroundings. He doesn't speak it, but he internalizes the fall as a dwindling of his skills; as a rusting of his gears; as complacency, dangerous and unavoidable. His joints ache with their aging now, especially with the fall, and he tries to ignore what that means for the projection of his self sufficiency in the coming decades. Arm shovels the small gourds back into the box and he gives Astoria a thankful smile when she joins to help. "Really hope the kale survived," he mumbles and then nods back towards the tomatoes. "There's aphids throwing a party over there. Just a couple vines, but they're eating good. Think I saw a hornworm too... What do you think about ladybugs? If we can find them, and keep them off the greens somehow."
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lcriedlastnight · 3 months ago
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Ok so I got a request pls 🙏 🥹
Maybe Oscar's or Max Fs sister and Lando with the prompt "I'm your lockscreen?" - "you weren't supposed to see that"
I hope that's enough if not I can come up with a longer one
no this is so prefect! i love this so much!
tw: fem!reader, swear, lmk if you want me to add anything.
w/c: 933
max was a great brother. he was a little protective but overall he was the best. he had gone round all of his friends, every time he made a new one, telling them you were strictly off limits.
of course this also applied to lando, too. no matter how rich they were, or how famous or how pretty they were. yeah, you maybe had fallen victim to lando norris' charm. you had no idea what it was because he literally had no game, what so ever. you just thought he was cute, it made you feel like a teenager with a crush on your brother's best friend. half of it being true.
you had been looking forward to max's birthday celebrations, not to celebrate his birthday. no but to see his pretty, curly-haired best friend. you had not been this excited in a while. it was a little embarrassing but you just played it off like you were excited to be with your brother. maybe you were a little excited to see him too, you had not actually seen him in a while as he was almost just as bad as lando with being all around the world all the time. you were jealous, you always wanted to travel.
you arrive at max's house just after lando does. you two are the only guests that have arrived so far. seeing as max had asked you both to come a little earlier to help him prepare that did not surprise you. you do not even bother knocking, instead you just walk inside and announce aloud that you were here. you hear a muffled shout from the other room- well two muffled shouts to be exact, alerting you that both boys were in the kitchen. lando's laugh could be heard from a mile away.
max greets you as soon as he notices your presence while lando just stands in place, grinning like a fool. you do not understand him sometimes but you smile back at him anyways, never one to be impolite.
"hi. what exactly do you need help with, max?" you asked, setting your things on the counter so you could help him with the getting ready prospect of the party.
an hour later and you wished you had never bothered responding to your brothers desperate text messages last night, pleading you to come help him set up. both boys had ended up slacking so you had put mostly everything together. max complained "why should i have to set up? it's my birthday." but lando was quick to humble him, "you're the one who decided to throw a last minute party in your own house."
after a lot of of complaining from both boys, they eventually did end up pulling their weight and once all the balloons and banners were set up to max's liking he gave both you and lando the go ahead to begin getting ready. unfortunately because you knew you were getting ready at max's you had to haul a heavy bag full of your makeup and outfit options for the night in a tote bag. on the bright side though, lando offered to carry it up stairs for you and you got to see the way his muscles bulged as he strained to carry the bag.
for some reason lando had refused to leave your side as you got ready, claiming it was relaxing to watch you get ready. how you did not know this boy was down bad for you was unbelievable. he literally offered to let you play music on his phone while yours charged on the opposite side of the room. he watched on with a pretty smile as you scroll through his liked songs on spotify, trying to find the one that sets the mood of how you were currently feeling getting ready.
lando makes small talk as he lays on the guest bed behind you, just catching up with you really, as you follow the steps in your makeup routine. the song catches you off guard but you physically recoil as it plays. "i fucking hate this song!" you exclaim, the pre-game drinks settling in a little. you tap lando's phone screen to change the song when you catch a glimpse at his phone screen. it was a glimpse because it faded to black before you could really study it. you did not need more than a glimpse to recognise your face staring back at you.
"i'm your lock screen?" you ask lando. you turn to face him on the bed, you can see the panic in his eyes as your words register in his mind.
"what?" he laughs lunging for his phone like that would do anything. the damage was done now. you had seen the picture. there was no going back. "that's not- uh."
you smirk as lando tries and fails to dig himself out this.
"you weren't supposed to see that." lando blushes a little. it is the first time you have ever seen lando blush. you suppress the urge to grab your own phone and snap a picture of him, all pink cheeked and starry eyed. maybe you would make it your lock screen.
"it's fine. it's cute. now i want you as my lock screen." you smile at him desperately wanting to calm his nerves. lando just grins at you.
you had then made it that night's mission to take the cutest picture of lando to set as your own lock screen. you succeeded but not without a mouthful from max on what the fuck you thought you were doing.
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as-mod-eus · 1 year ago
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   𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐒 a strange thing. Despite having never had the privilege of a sibling in his life, he had sufficiently filled the void with his best friend; his brother from another mother. He and Hayden had been attached at the hip for the better part of thirty years, since grade-school. The man who was reverently regarded to as Lucifer by industry peers and employees alike, was called by his god-fearing, government name—Lukas—by those he shared close bond with. Hayden would be considered one of those people, and perhaps that was why the mogul had regarded his new girlfriend with such a harsh stare upon their... "introduction". The use of his real name, and not the pseudonym he'd naturally given the woman—what was her name again?—obfuscated things. He nearly hoped she would think him someone else, so he could narrowly escape this uncomfortable and borderline-betraying situation unscathed. But as the night had drawn on, and he had blurred at the edges with the help of one too many, Lucifer had lost his already loose grip on his conscience. Caution was thrown to the wind in a split second decision to follow after her the moment an opportunity for privacy emerged. He never had been a man of morals, but this would be a new low for him. After all, he'd practically grown up with Hayden. What was this pursuit but a testament to the Narcissus' true nature? He was willing to devastate his best friend if only to make some point to a woman he'd spent a summer with, mostly because he couldn't stand being vulnerable in this way. Having someone he didn't consider family knowing his real name. He felt exposed. All six-foot-three of him was alight with poorly contained anxiety about it, and that was manifesting through bad manners and recklessness. He would, of course, make that her problem and not his own.
Laura. He remembered her well now. Up close, with the moonlight draping across flushed features—yes, quite well. An unamused eyebrow lifted at her sentiment, and he replied rather disinterestedly, "You assume invisibility was my goal... Who's to say I don't want him to catch us?" The words left him in an almost teasing, challenging tone. They held no merit. "You didn't seem to mind my preferences in poison on the yacht," he commented, forthcoming, to get straight to business and on the same page, before taking his drink back, and intentionally lingering his touch upon her grasp. The remorse for it would come later, when his best friend smiled at him and thanked him for coming. "Calm down. He doesn't have to know. It's not like it'll come up in conversation." His gaze, so intense now compared to the last time he'd laid eyes upon her, traveled unashamedly down her form and then back to her eyes. "Beautiful as ever." A pause. He'd always had a thing for short brunettes. "Why him?" he asked, more curious than offended.
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open to: f / m / nb ( age gaps ok ! ) plot: 'my bf/gf brought me home to a big party/family gathering to meet his folks , and everything was going great until i bumped into his dad/mom/brother/sister and shit! guess we had a fling over the summer uh-oh! awkward' muse: laura ( 24 ,  dancer ,  bi )
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“    ok --- first of all , i don't think you and me being alone up here together is making us look inconspicuous as you want it to ,  ” hopefully nobody had actually taken notice of their absence from the gathering downstairs just yet ! " second of all --- i don't think alcohol is gonna help with this ! " that being said -- she's willing to give it a shot . " --- oh whatever , " she uncerimoniously snatches the drink from their hand and procceeds to down it , making the most pained grimace as the bitter taste pours down her throat . " ugh --- god ! why ?! why do you drink this stuff ?! "
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asahicore · 2 years ago
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gorgeous - lhs
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"you should take it as a compliment that i'm talking to everyone here but you / and you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room" - gorgeous by taylor swift
series masterlist - part one - part two - part three
prompt 45 of the 100 kisses list, "we shouldn't do this" but they do so anyway
pairing. best friend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader synopsis. Heeseung comes back from his first year of university a new man - forget nervous, fidgety, dorky Heeseung and say hello to confident, teasing, flirty Heeseung. This change of attitude doesn't help your longstanding crush on your best friend's brother, and neither does the rising tension between the two of you - a tension that is bound to explode. genre. f2l, did i mention this was a best friend's brother au?, only fluff in this part but more to come, perhaps suggestive due to tension between reader and hee and makeout session lol word count. 8.1k (yes an asahicore fic under 10k thank u very much) a/n. hi loves i'm super happy to be posting this bc its the very first fic out of the 100 kisses event and its a project im really excited about !!! i know i said like 2 days ago it'd take me a while to write this but i got super motivated over the weekend and it turned out shorter than i thought and bestie @k-ingzo zo did a super amazing job at beta reading this so i was able to post it really quickly !! anyways hope you enjoy this, pls lmk,, and hope u look forward to the rest of the series as well !! ok bye
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Nine years ago
“Y/N, honey, come meet your new friends!”
You rushed down the stairs at your mom’s call - at eight, you were always excited by the idea of new friends. She’d also called Naeun down, but lately, your sister had been acting like doing anything your parents asked her would cost her her life.
There in your living room were four unfamiliar faces, but your parents were smiling warmly, so you weren’t too nervous. Instinctively, you found your mother’s side and she rested her hand on your head, bending down to talk to you.
“Y/N, these are the Lees, they’ve just moved to the neighborhood.”
“Hi,” you greeted shyly, and were met with four hi’s in return.
“Heeseung and Seeun here started going to the same school as you,” she informs, nodding her head towards the young boy and girl. Now that she said it, the boy looked really familiar. You thought you recognized him from school that day - his glasses were definitely memorable. “And Seeun is the exact same age as you!” Your face lit up at that, and her expression mirrored yours as her lips curled into a smile. “Why don’t you show her your room?”
“Sure! Come on,” you said, holding out your hand for Seeun to take. She looked back at her parents who were nodding vigorously at her to follow you. You just played for half-an-hour, and Heeseung joined you quickly, saying he was bored with the adults downstairs. He didn’t talk much, instead found some of your toys to play with in his own corner. 
When the Lees left, you were thinking two things: one, you couldn’t wait to tell Chaeyeong about Seeun, and two, that boy with the big glasses was really, really cute.
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Now
“Seeun, why the hell didn’t you tell us that your brother is a mega-hottie now?!”
This is what your friend Chaeyeong whisper-screams in lieu of a greeting as she barges in Seeun’s room, plopping down on her bed like it was her own. It might as well have been, considering how long the three of you had known each other.
“If you ever refer to my brother as a mega-hottie again, I’m terminating this friendship,” Seeun replies, not bothering to look up from the bead bracelet she was currently making.
“Oh please, just because you’re his sister doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed how attractive he’s gotten,” Chaeyeong insists, but it just makes Seeun scrunch her nose in disgust.
“Chaeyeong, please stop making it so obvious you’re an only child,” Seeun sighs. You let out a giggle at your friends’ conversation as you search for another color that could go well with the pink beads you’d chosen for your own bracelet. 
Stealthily, Chaeyeong leaves her spot on the bed and sneaks up to you. “Y/N!” she exclaims suddenly, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a sneak-attack hug that makes you yelp. It makes you drop your half-finished bracelet, the beads falling all over the carpeted floor around you. You look up at Chaeyeong with a pout, but she just smiles at you and starts picking up the beads, gathering the tiny pink jewels in the palm of her hand.
“Y/N, you’re with me on this one, aren’t you?”
You ignore Seeun’s side-eye and give in to Chaeyeong’s encouraging expression. “I guess he does look very…” you pause to carefully consider your word choice. “Different,” you settle on.
“Different? That’s it? Y/N, you should really consider getting some glasses, seeing how you’re so blind to hot boys.” Cue a loud groan, Seeun’s courtesy. You just giggle again, slightly shaking your head at Chaeyeong’s antics. She rolled her eyes, disappointed that you didn’t back her up, but she drops the subject and switches to Seeun’s upcoming birthday party. Something great about being generally quiet? People don’t question it when you don’t partake much in a conversation. You listen and laugh as your friends bicker, but your mind is on something else.
Or rather, it’s on someone else.
Because Chaeyeong is absolutely right - Seeun’s brother has glowed up so much during his time away at university that you had a double-take when he opened the door for you earlier.
The sentence this is so unfair plays over and over in your head.
You’d heard of the freshman fifteen, of college first-years being so stressed over grades and having so little time that their diet consisted of instant ramen, quick cafeteria lunches, and an ungodly amount of coffee. And alcohol, on Friday nights, of course. After seeing how freshman year treated your older sister, you were dreading going to college, imagining it to be the complete opposite of what TV and movies had shown you.
So how the hell had Lee Heeseung gone from high school loser to campus hearthrob in the span of a mere nine months? (After some thinking, you realized that, well, if a woman can create a whole human being in nine months, maybe a regular guy can undergo great physical and mental change in that time, too.)
In September, when you’d last seen him, he wore the same glasses he had for all of high school - those slightly crooked ones that made his eyes look even bigger than they already were. He always had to push them back up his nose but he never bothered to get them fixed, even though all they needed was for the arms to be tightened. You remember his tic-like habit of readjusting his glasses, a habit so strong that he did it even when he wasn’t wearing them. Maybe they bothered him so much that he decided to get rid of them once and for all, you guess. 
Indeed, when he greeted you at his front door earlier (even after years of knowing Seeun and her family and no matter how much they reassure you that it’s okay, you’re unable to come in without knocking first, like Chaeyeong does), he wasn’t wearing his thick lenses you’d grown fond of. His eyes didn’t look unfocused like they usually would without glasses, so you assumed he’d switched to contact lenses - you knew it wasn’t Lasik surgery, because Seeun was always complaining that her parents wouldn’t pay for her or her brother to receive it. 
But it wasn’t just the glasses, of course not. There was an ease and confidence about him that he didn’t have before - no awkward giggles, no darting eyes, no weirdly positioned limbs. He held the door open for you and kept his eyes on you as you walked in, saying it was nice to see you again and asking if you were happy to be done with high school. You already weren’t expecting Heeseung to open the door in Seeun’s stead, so him actually looking at you while he spoke instead of mumbling a few words in your general direction and scratching the back of his neck rendered you completely flustered, cheeks heating up embarrassingly quickly.
His hair was different: it used to sit there atop Heeseung’s head, unsure what to do with itself, but now it was purposefully cut and slightly pushed back. When he turned his head, you saw something shiny dangling from his left ear.
Heeseung had a piercing. Shy, nervous, fidgety electronics club president Heeseung had a goddamn piercing, and it looked amazing. 
And then he laughed. He actually had the audacity to laugh, and then ruffle your hair. You could’ve died right then and there. “You’re still just as cute as before,” he mused, beaming down at you. Then he walked away towards the living room, saying Seeun was in her room upstairs. As if nothing happened. As if you weren’t on the verge of combusting, your saving grace being your friend’s voice calling out your name. You ran up the stairs, wanting to get as far away from Heeseung and his smile and his voice and his touch as possible. You busied yourself with the pearls and the small bracelet-making station Seeun had organized, trying not to think about the vein that ran down his forearm or about how his shoulders looked wider than before. And you’d managed to do that, until Chaeyeong brought him up.
It wasn’t unfair because he’d grown mysteriously hot - it was unfair because to you, Heeseung had always been the cutest boy around, but now other people had surely noticed too, Chaeyeong amongst them. Now, you were just one of the many girls that had a crush on Heeseung, even if yours dated back to the first time you’d met him when the Lees moved into the neighborhood. 
Their parents had been delighted that two girls of their daughter’s age - eight, to be precise - lived on their street. You were delighted that the cute boy you’d seen at school that day was her big brother, just one year older. Chaeyeong and you gladly welcomed Seeun into your friendship and you had each other’s back through the awkward phases of your early teenage years and the stressful times as high school seniors getting ready for college. You shared everything - clothes, jewelry, homework answers, gossip, tears, laughter. Secrets.
You liked to think there wasn’t a thing you didn’t know about them, but you couldn’t say the opposite was true - there was a secret you had to keep from them. A secret that grew bigger and bigger as time passed, but that you needed to keep locked in.
You had the biggest crush known to mankind on your best friend’s brother. It was either keep quiet or tell both of your friends; you trusted Chaeyeong, but you didn’t want her to carry that burden. You had no idea what Seeun’s reaction would be if you admitted you liked her brother, but you didn’t want to risk it. Every best friend’s brother (or brother’s best friend) romance you’d read had told you that the former was always against and deeply disgusted by the idea of their friend dating the latter. The last thing you wanted to do was make things weird, so you said nothing and suffered in silence, as one does. And so, for years, Heeseung was your little secret.
But not anymore, apparently. And it felt unfair. You didn’t have much of a chance to begin with, but now, getting with Heeseung was inimaginable. You’d just have to continue pining from far away, just as you’d gotten used to.
-
Four years ago
Your heart pounded as you made your way to the bus stop, steps heavy and head full of thoughts. Even though your older sister told you there’s nothing to worry about, you couldn’t help it. You were used to walking to school, not taking the bus. After three years of seeing the same people roaming the hallways, it was nerve-wracking to arrive at a place where most faces would be completely unfamiliar. You didn’t know what your teachers would be like, you were scared your classes would be a hundred times harder than before, you heard the cafeteria food was really bad. In short, you were absolutely dreading high school. And today was your first day.
The only thing that calmed you down was knowing that in a few minutes, you’d be with Seeun and Chaeyeong, and just seeing them would make you feel instantly better. You were meeting at the bus stop.
But when you reached it, neither of your friends were there. You shouldn’t have been surprised, since you’d come ten minutes early, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. That is, until you recognized someone else.
“Heeseung?” you called out before you could stop yourself. The boy snapped his head in your direction, and his eyes widened at the sight of you. Simple things like that made your heart burst with adoration for him.
“Oh, h-hi, Y/N.” He smiled the shy smile you loved so much and looked back at his feet, holding on tightly to the straps of his backpack. You stood next to him, close enough to have a conversation if he wanted to but not so close that it’d be weird.
Heeseung was the only person you felt awkward around. Even though you were on the quieter side and strangers weren’t your favorite people per se, being around people you didn’t know well wasn’t your definition of torture like it seemed to be for Heeseung and other kids from your school. But Heeseung’s awkwardness was contagious, and your crush on him didn’t help your ease of mind - so you imitated his posture, swaying back and forth on your feet as you held onto your backpack straps just to have something to hold onto. You smiled at the ground, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by looking at him, but that meant you missed the growing blush on his cheeks.
“So,” he started, “nervous?” He glanced quickly, just once, at you. You were so surprised at his breaking the silence, used to a quiet Heeseung, that you forgot to answer, simply staring at him. His panicked expression and mumblings were what jolted you out of your daze. “I-I mean, you know, cause it’s your first day and everything, and I was really nervous last year- I am today, too, actually- so I thought maybe, you know, you’re nervous too, but maybe you’re not, I don’t-”
He said all of this so quickly, you started laughing, slightly bending over. He let out a chuckle too, but as you continued laughing, a pout started to form on his lips. “What’s so funny…” you heard him grumble as he kicked a non-existent pebble.
“Sorry,” you said, regaining your breath. “I’m sorry, Heeseung.” The sound of his name made him glance at you again. You wished you could kiss the pout off his lips. “I was nervous, actually. But I feel better now.”
A quick smile appeared on his lips, but he willed it away. “I’m glad my embarrassment made you feel better,” he sighed.
You gently kicked his shoe with yours to make him look at you. “No, it’s because you made me laugh. I needed it. Thanks,” you corrected with a smile. Heeseung may have made you feel awkward, but the easiness with which he always got flustered made you love to tease him slightly.
His smile widened as he looked away once more, the blush having spread to his whole face by then. “Whatever,” he murmured. There was no time to say anything else because Seeun called out your name, practically skipping towards you. 
She gave you an excited hug as a greeting before turning towards her brother with a glare, punching him hard on the bicep, making him wince in pain and reach his hand to cover his arm where she hit him. “Thanks for waiting for me, loser.”
“You were gonna make us late!” he whined, rubbing his arm.
“Yeah, ‘cause I obviously missed the bus,” she tutted.
You watched the siblings with an amused smile, used to the exact same kind of banter at home. Your sister, who was in her last year of high school, had decided not to drive you for some reason only an older sister could make up and pretend was reasonable. Your parents had tried to convince her, but you didn’t mind taking the bus with your friends, so they didn’t push it, just glad they could somehow keep the both of you happy.
Heeseung didn’t say anything in return. Your eyes met for a moment, and his frown relaxed into a smile when he caught your expression. It lasted a second but it was enough to make your stomach twist. Seeun, oblivious, grabbed your arm and started telling you about all the things she was excited about for today. You were worried Chaeyeong wasn’t going to make it, but her footsteps were loud as she ran, reaching you just as the bus stopped in front of you. Heeseung took what you soon found out was his usual spot at the front of the bus while your friends dragged you towards the back of it. You tried not to let your thoughts drift towards the boy with the messy black hair and crooked glasses, but his shy smile replayed in your mind all day. For a year, you’d gotten used to not going to the same school as him - you didn’t know how you’d survive seeing him at least five days a week once again.
-
Now
You were really determined to not let Heeseung’s newfound confidence sway you, physically shaking your head every time a thought of him popped in your head (useless) and racking your brain for reasons you shouldn’t like him (not many of those). There was just one teeny, tiny problem.
He was making it impossible to pine for him at a distance. 
It seemed like everywhere you went, he was there. Maybe that was due to the fact that your most frequently visited place was literally his house, but still. It was frustrating. You didn’t need to be met with his stupid smile whenever he opened the door for you, you didn’t need to catch him cutely napping - how was that even possible?! - in the living room, a random sitcom still playing on the TV, you didn’t need to hear his laughter when his friends were over, and you definitely did not need to see him half-naked as he came out of the bathroom, hair wet from the shower and sticking to his forehead, towel wrapped low around his hips and his abs fully on display. Because of course, you had to be in the hallway, heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water, at the exact same time as him. 
You almost start to resent the fact that Seeun had the comfiest bedroom out of the three of you, as well as the most snack-filled house, which was why you had decided years ago to hang out there the most. Especially during school breaks, you were there almost every day, so you were bound to see Heeseung a lot. But for some reason, that didn’t seem to be enough, and over the course of June, you also ran into him while shoe-shopping with your mom, then another time as you entered the public library just when he left it, and another when your friends and his had decided to get ice cream at the same time. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The worst part? Every time he saw you, while you simultaneously wanted to run away from him and into his arms, his damnedly handsome face broke into a stupidly beautiful smile that looked far too genuine for your heart. “Y/N! Funny seeing you here!”
No, Heeseung, not funny.
You didn’t want to be that girl whose brain cells stopped working whenever she encountered an attractive male specimen, but that was apparently who you were meant to be, because all words left you when you saw Heeseung. Although you’d been somewhat flustered around him in the past, he was always much more so than you, which reassured you and gave you enough confidence to actually talk to him. But now that he had realized how handsome he was and was clearly using that newfound knowledge against you (or so you thought), you were unable to string a coherent sentence when his shiny eyes bore into yours.
You think he might’ve sensed your awkwardness, because he never lingered, never made useless small talk, just asked about your favorite ice cream flavor or the book he’d checked out, patted your head, then was on his way.
There were so many butterflies in your stomach, you were scared it might fly away.
One afternoon in the middle of July, you and your friends come back from the city pool completely exhausted after playing around for hours in the water. All bundled up and close together, you try to nap on Seeun’s bed. Keyword try, because even though your friends’ soft snores quickly start to fill the silence of the room, you can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter how heavy your eyes feel.
Quietly, you get out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen, hoping a cold glass of water will help sleep come to you like it usually does. You shouldn’t be surprised to see Heeseung in the dining room/kitchen area, busy with a puzzle, the pieces of which he’s spread out all over the table, but your heart still does a flip. He must be really engrossed in it, because he doesn’t notice your presence in the room until you fill a glass with ice, the sudden sound making his head snap up at you. You hate that his face breaks into a grin as soon as he sees you.
“Oh, hey, Y/N! What are you doing?”
“Just getting some water,” you explain, raising your glass with a small smile. Your whole body tells you to run away, back to Seeun’s bedroom, but something in your gut tells you to stay, to get closer to Heeseung. So you do. “What about you?” you ask, slowly making your way towards the table and peering at the puzzle in progress.
“Just whipping up some brownies,” he retorts with a devilish smirk, big eyes looking up at you. 
You fight back a smile in vain. “Shut up,” you mumble, but take a seat next to him anyway. He seems slightly taken aback by the sudden proximity, and you are too, but you keep your gaze focused on the puzzle in front of you so that you can’t think too much about how close you’re sitting, and how your knees could touch if you angled them just so.
For a small while you sit in silence, watching as he puts pieces together and even finding a couple of your own. It’s a one-thousand piece jigsaw that he’s clearly only just started, but Heeseung doesn’t seem fazed by that. You like seeing how his eyebrows slightly furrow when he’s searching for a particular piece, and the pleased smirk that graces his lips when he finds it. You break the silence after a few minutes.
“So you still like puzzles, then?” you ask, voice low. You’ve always been told you speak quietly - even too quietly sometimes, but you can’t always help it. Especially in situations like this, when it’s silent around you anyways, you don’t see the point of raising your voice. When Heeseung replies, he speaks at the same volume as you, and there’s something comforting about it, about speaking quietly in such a spacious and sunlit room - the words you share are for you two, and you two only.
“Yep, ever since that day.” He glances quickly at you and smiles at the piece in his hand, and it’s like getting a glimpse of the Heeseung you had known all those years. Your heart warms at the sight.
“That day?”
This makes him look properly at you, his eyes darting back and forth between yours as if searching for something there. Your heart is now on fire. “Don’t you remember?”
You tilt your head in response and he turns his attention back to the puzzle. “It was at this table, too. I think your grandparents- your grandma, I think? Anyway, someone had gotten you a puzzle for your birthday.”
You ‘ah’ in realization. “Of course!”
Two years ago
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this, it’s so complicated,” Seeun pouted apologetically, looking at you sadly. “We’ve been here like an hour and we’ve barely gotten anywhere.” 
Chaeyeong, head on the table, groaned in agreement. You followed your friend’s gaze to the puzzle in front of you - she was right, you hadn’t made much progress. But you liked it. The picture was pretty and you’d like to see it completed, but more than that, you liked finding the right piece, figuring out strategies.
You hummed, mirroring Seeun’s pout. Chaeyeong snapped her head back up to look at you. You’d think she hadn’t slept in days, but that was just bored Chaeyeong. You loved your friend and her over-dramatic antics. “Can we just take a break?” she asked, tone like you’d kidnapped and forced her to do this.
“You guys go ahead.” You smiled. “I like it, I can just continue this for a while and you guys do whatever you want.” The three of you spent so much time together that you didn’t need to be doing an activity together to be happy - being in each other’s general vicinity was enough to be considered a hang-out.
“You sure?” Seeun asked.
“Yeah, ‘course.” You chuckled at the obvious relief on your friend’s faces. “Just don’t watch the next Extraordinary You episode without me, okay?”
They both gasped and clutched their hearts like you’d accused them of murder. “How could you even think that, Y/N?!” Chaeyeong exclaimed.
“We would never!” Seeun added.
You shook your head at your friends’ antics, laughing as you waved them off. “Just go, already.”
“Yes, ma’am!” And with that, they were off, running up the stairs to Seeun’s bedroom.
You were only on your own for around ten minutes - the front door opened and closed, and the quiet shuffle of shoes being taken off and replaced with slippers let you know Heeseung had just come home. Seeun always made a show of being exhausted after school, groaning as she threw her backpack to the ground, while Mr and Mrs Lee always announced their arrival with a sometimes cheery, sometimes tired ‘I’m home!’. But Heeseung, quiet as always, simply set his backpack next to the stairs, slipped into his slippers and made his way to the kitchen, fond of a quick snack after school. Even Chaeyeong made herself more known when she entered the Lee household.
Every day except for Fridays, he came home two hours later than his sister because of either magic or electronics club (yes, magic club. It was cute, okay?!). You always looked forward to the monthly meeting of the book club you were in, partly because it meant you could take the bus back with Heeseung afterwards. Even if the ride was usually mainly silent, just sitting next to him was enough for your heart to do all sorts of tricks worthy of an Olympic gymnast. 
“Oh, hey, Y/N,” he greeted softly, probably surprised at seeing you alone at the dinner table.
“Hi, Heeseung. How was the electronics club?” You wanted to make conversation, but you winced immediately at your words - was it normal for you to know what club he had on what days?
But Heeseung seemed to pay it no mind, just smiling shyly, a blush already creeping on his cheeks. “It was nice, thanks.” He opened the fridge, taking out a carton of milk. “Do you want a glass?” When you didn’t respond immediately, he was quick to add, “Of milk? O-or orange juice? Or I can make some tea, if you want-”
His hands were already busy with preparing whatever drink he thought you might want. You held back a chuckle and smiled as you answered, “Milk is fine, thanks.”
His blush spread all the way down his neck and you turned your attention back to the puzzle so he wouldn’t see your grin. “Right, milk. Milk,” he stammered, then got two glasses out of the cupboard.
You loved moments like these with Heeseung - flustered, light-hearted, slightly awkward, moments that made you want to giggle out of nerves and delight. Basically every moment with him was like this, so it’d be more accurate to say you loved every moment with him.
“I didn’t know you liked puzzles,” he said, an upward tilt to his voice, as he set your glass next to you and took a seat across from you. He peered down at the pieces spread out in front of you, fixed his glasses on his nose, and took a big gulp of milk.
“I didn’t either,” you said with a chuckle, and stammered out an explanation when he looked up at you questioningly. “My, um, my grandma gave this to me for my birthday last month. She’s got a lot of grandkids, you know, and I think she might’ve mixed up my other cousin who likes puzzles and me…” Heeseung nods slowly, the corners of his lips tugging up in amusement. “But I don’t mind it,” you add, “I’m having fun, actually. Seeun and Chaeyeong are of a different mind, though. It’s a bit hard doing it on my own but I like it anyway.”
“I can help you,” he suddenly blurted out, and he looked just as surprised at his words as you were. “If you want.”
You smiled at him, and Heeseung and you actually looked at each other, actually held eye contact for three seconds, until you felt your face burn and had to look away. “Sure, yeah, that’d be nice.”
Although it took some time to finish the puzzle - putting 500 pieces together was a lot trickier than you thought it’d be - Heeseung and you managed to do it, high fiving celebratorily after almost two hours of hard work.
Now
“I just had a lot of fun that day.” Heeseung shrugs. “Plus, I already liked things like Legos and Rubik’s cubes, so it made sense I’d like puzzles, too.” 
You nod in response, watching as he twirls a puzzle piece between his thumb and middle finger. “It’s funny that my grandma’s mistake is what made you discover your love for puzzles.”
Heeseung chuckles along with you, and you’re relieved the atmosphere is somewhat lighter than before until he looks straight into your eyes, locking your gaze in his own, and a breath gets trapped in your throat. “I’m glad she did that, otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now.”
You’re still staring at him, dumbfounded, mouth agape, when he looks away with a smirk and turns his attention back to the puzzle, analyzing it seriously as if nothing happened. You come back to your senses after a few seconds, clearing your throat before imitating Heeseung and trying to focus on the puzzle once again. But that’s hard to do when your hands brush ever-so-slightly every time you fumble around the pile for a particular piece, or every time he hits your knee with his, inadvertently or to tease you, you’re not sure.
The first thing to do when starting a puzzle is looking for all the side pieces to build the frame. When Heeseung spots one in the pile next to you, he leans in to grab it, and he’s suddenly close enough for you to get a whiff of his cologne that had faded over the day. You think he’ll just take the piece and sit back in his seat, but instead, he turns his head towards you, and that’s when you realize just how close you are. Close enough that it wouldn’t be hard to close the gap and have your lips on his - just as the thought hits you, his eyes drift down to your parted lips. Is he thinking the same thing?
You take a sharp breath in, eyes fixed on Heeseung, mind racing with thoughts and assumptions of what might be going through his head right now. But your brain goes haywire when a smirk blooms on his lips, clearly enjoying your reaction. His gaze finds your eyes once more and he raises the piece between the two of you, in the small space that separates you. “Got it,” he says quietly, voice lower than usual. It makes your insides melt. He could be very well talking about you - he’s got you absolutely wrapped around his finger, and he seems to know it.
He turns back to the puzzle, smirk still on his lips, and you’re so embarrassed and confused that your flight instinct kicks in. The screech of your chair as you push it back and stand up makes Heeseung look up at you again, his smirk having dissolved in surprise and - disappointment?
No time to ponder, you need to get. out. of. here. 
“Right, well, that was fun, haha,” you breathe out, actually saying the word ‘haha’ and wanting to run away even more thereafter. “I should probably head back to the girls, now.” You’re already backing up and walking away when Heeseung calls out your name, but you just turn around and rush back upstairs, yelling out a small “bye, Heeseung!” on your way.
You’re already back in Seeun’s bedroom when Heeseung shakes his head at your sudden disappearance, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Cute,” he says under his breath.
-
To minimize any chances of running into Heeseung, over the next two weeks, you ask Chaeyeong and Seeun if you could hang out at your house more often, using the excuse that you want to spend as much time as possible there before leaving off to college. They don’t question it too much - next year, they’ll be able to come back fairly regularly to their parent’s houses, since the college they’re going to is less than an hour-long car ride away, but you’ll be further away, too far to come back home often.
It just so happens to be the university Heeseung is studying at, but you don’t need to worry about that right now. They had one of the best English Lit programs in your area and you’d been wanting to go there for all of your high school years - you used to think of Heeseung’s going there as a pro, but right now, it felt more like a con.
You manage to only run into him twice over the course of those two weeks, and both times, just in passing. But now it’s the night of Seeun’s birthday party and it’s impossible to pretend he isn’t there even when you’re in a crowded room together. Heeseung and Seeun’s parents have lended their house for their kids to have a party there, using it as an opportunity to have a date night, and Heeseung and his friends have graciously provided a big portion of the alcohol, saying it was their birthday gift.
You aren’t the biggest fan of alcohol, so you opt for the fruitier, lighter drinks, but still, two hours after the party starts, you can already feel your head start to spin, your voice is louder, everything makes you laugh. When a friend from school tells you they’re playing seven minutes in heaven in the hallway upstairs, you think that's the funniest thing you’ve ever heard and immediately agree to join.
The sight of Heeseung sitting in the circle, already looking at you with a lopsided smile, almost sobers you up completely.
You’d tried to avoid him as best as you could, but it was like you couldn’t escape him - maybe that was due to the fact that the heart of the party was kept to the kitchen and the living room, just a few people sitting on the stairs at the entrance to get away from the noise, but still, it annoyed you to no end that you had to keep seeing him everywhere. Maybe that was also what made the alcohol easier to down.
At some point, you were in the kitchen, doing a shot of God-knows-what with girls from school. You heard his voice before you saw him, and it made you roll your eyes but also your heart skip a beat. “Didn’t know you were such a drinker, Y/N.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and when his face came into view, you wanted to slap it away. Or kiss it away, maybe.
“I’m not, I’m just trying to have fun,” you retorted, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you poured yourself another shot. I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas started playing in the next room and the girls shrieked before rushing to the made-up dancefloor. You wanted to join them, but something kept your feet firmly planted at the kitchen counter.
Before you could bring the shot glass to your lips, however, Heeseung stole it from you and downed it himself. “Hey!” you protested, but it was done, and he was scrunching his nose at the bitter taste, shaking his head. You wished he could stop being attractive for one damn second.
“You don’t need that to have fun.”
He placed his forearms on the kitchen counter and leaned on them, forcing him to look up at you. You had no idea what the hell he meant by that, nor did you want to try and figure it out - all you knew was that you couldn’t stay there with him when he looked at you so intently, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, hair perfectly disheveled and biceps apparent even under his t-shirt sleeves.
“You’re right, I don’t,” you made yourself say, and spun on your heels to join your friends on the dancefloor. 
And a few drinks later, here you are, sitting in a circle on the hallway floor, Heeseung right in front of you, leaning back on his palms and looking down at you with that same stupid smirk once again.
The game goes as such: one person spins the bottle twice, and the people it lands on have to go to a bedroom closet for seven minutes (timed carefully by Jake, Heeseung’s friend who is taking this game very seriously) to do whatever they want, while the others occupy themselves with other games. When the seven minutes are up, the doors burst open, and you have to leave the closet. 
And because it wouldn’t be any fun otherwise, after a few rounds, the bottle points straight at you, then straight at Heeseung, and before you know it, everyone except for Seeun is cheering, and Heeseung is holding out his hand for you to take, and you do, and he raises you up, and together, you head to his closet, as per the rules of this stupid middle-school game you should never have agreed to play in the first place. You can barely Seeun’s voice as she shouts, “Y/N, I trust you!”, which just makes Chaeyeong burst into laughter and whoop louder for you. You’d also barely registered Heeseung’s friends clapping each other’s backs, smiling like they were in on something.
The sound of the closet door shutting is what snaps you out of your daze. You hadn’t even realized Heeseung had kept your hand in his until he released it, leaning his back against one wall of the closet, facing you. All three bedrooms in the Lees’ house had built-in walk-in closets which meant you weren’t sandwiched between Heeseung and his clothes, but still, you wished you could put more distance between your two bodies - one step closer, and you were done for.
It wasn’t just Heeseung’s presence in the narrow space - it was his scent filling your nostrils, the combined smell of the cologne he was wearing, of the fabric softener on his clothes, and an unfamiliar scent you somehow recognized as unique to Heeseung, his skin, his hair, smells you’d wanted to discover for years but never got close enough to. Well, now you did. And it was intoxicating - you wanted more, wanted to bury your face in the crook of his neck and inhale. You wanted to know what his reaction would be, if he’d let you, if he’d push you away.
All those thoughts were running wild in your head. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your stomach was in messy knots, your hands were sweaty and you had no idea where to place them, your eyes wouldn’t stop darting around the dark room. Everywhere but Heeseung. You could feel his eyes on you, but you were too nervous to meet them.
Your breathing must’ve gotten loud enough for him to hear, because all of a sudden, you feel his hand take yours, and he’s stood up from his position against the wall, his body too close to yours for your heart to handle. His thumb rubs what he must think are comforting semi-circles on the back of your hand, but the touch just destroys any capability of thinking straight you had left.
“Y/N,” he calls out, and the sound of his voice makes your eyes close shut. You cannot give in. You had seen Seeun’s disgusted expression when you and Heeseung were picked for the game - if just the idea of you and her brother kissing repulses her, what would she say if she knew it actually happened, or if you started dating? You may have the biggest crush ever on Heeseung, but no one was worth losing your friendship with Seeun.
“Calm down,” he says, and you wish you could be as steady as his voice. “There’s no reason to be nervous.”
This makes you scoff. “You touching me is not helping my nervousness.” The words are out before you can stop them, and in the darkness of the room, you have to concentrate to make out the tilt of Heeseung’s head. You don’t need to see it to know he’s smiling, the satisfied smirk that has been gracing his features for the past month and a half.
“Yeah? Why is that?”
You take your hand out of Heeseung’s and cross your arms over your chest. “You know why,” you say, not intending your voice to come out as weak as it does.
Heeseung takes another step closer to you, and the only ray of light that comes through the panels of the closet door hits his face, making it visible for you to see. “I do, but I want you to tell me.” Another step, making you back up until you hit the wall behind you.
You call out his name shakily. His lips are right in front of you at this point, and you can’t not look at them.
He places a hand delicately on your waist, as if not wanting to scare you off. “Yeah?” He’s so close now that you can feel his breath fanning on your lips.
“We shouldn’t do this,” you say, and finally, your voice is strong like you want it to - but Heeseung isn’t deterred by it.
“Do what?” he asks, pretending to be stupid. “We haven’t done anything. Not yet.” He adds the last part in a whisper, his eyes drifting down to your lips, and you can feel your resolve crumbling piece by piece, the opposite of completing a puzzle.
“You know what I’m talking about,” you whisper back, voice almost pleading with him. Stop this before it’s too late, you want to tell him, but for some reason, at this point, you’re more scared of nothing happening than something happening.
“I do, but I want you to tell me,” he repeats, and you can’t help but let out a chuckle. Laughing helps relieve the tension, but it’s back as quickly as it left when his hold on your waist gets tighter, bringing you closer to him. Your hands that had fallen to your side come up to grab the sides of his t-shirt, gathering the fabric in your fists. There’s no going back now, you can tell - you wait for Heeseung to make a move, both dreading it and craving the relief that will come with it.
Heeseung’s free hand comes up to your face, and he traces your jawline with a knuckle before taking your chin in two of his fingers, gently raising it so that your face is angled up towards him. His touch makes your skin burn and takes away your ability to breathe properly.
“We shouldn’t do this,” you repeat, voice barely audible, a weak and half-hearted attempt at stopping this now that you still can.
“No, we shouldn’t,” he agrees, and before you can say or do anything else, Heeseung presses his lips to yours, finally, finally.
His lips are just as soft as you’d expected them to be, and the kiss is light, slow, careful. You’re grateful for it, because you’re not a very experienced kisser - if Heeseung had plunged his tongue directly into your mouth, you wouldn’t have known what to do. It’s almost like he knows this, like he’s giving you time to figure it out, to get used to it. His hand snakes its way to the small of your back, pressing you closer to him, while the other cups your cheek with his palm. You, on the other hand, have completely forgotten about your hands, only able to focus on where your lips meet.
It’s easy to fall into Heeseung’s rhythm, to let him take control of the kiss. But maybe it’s too easy, because soon enough, you start to want more - as amazing as this is right now, a slow kiss like this is not enough to have dissolved the tension in your body. You remember your hands and inch them up to his hair, your fingers finding purchase there and slightly pulling as you open your mouth just a bit wider, hoping Heeseung will get the message.
For a second, you think you’ve got it all wrong - Heeseung pulls back an inch, peering down at you. You’re both breathing heavily, and you’re scared you might have gone too far. But then, he murmurs a small fuck under his breath, and just like that, his lips are back on yours, your back is pressed against the wall again, his body encaging your smaller one. The kiss now is nothing like it was seconds ago - it’s turned hungry, hot, messy. You love it.
You had no idea you would want to kiss Heeseung like this, but now that you were doing it, you couldn’t get enough. The intensity with which he held you, the feel of his tongue against yours, the small groans that escaped his lips every time you pulled on his hair, it was all making you more drunk than the alcohol had.
You swear you haven’t even been kissing for two minutes, but then, all of a sudden, the doors are snapped open, and light pours in the closet, and Heeseung’s lips aren’t on yours anymore. You hadn’t heard the timer go off, too engrossed in Heeseung to pay anything else any mind. When you turn your head, Chaeyeong and Jake are staring at you and Heeseung, mouths wide open and eyes darting back and forth between the two of you.
“Oh. My. God,” Chaeyeong says, while Jake starts laughing. A shy smile appears on Heeseung’s lips, even plumper and pinker than usual from your kiss. His hair is a mess, and you’re sure you don’t look too different. He scratches the back of his neck, and you can’t believe this sheepish boy is the same that was kissing you roughly not a minute ago.
“Chaeyeong,” you cry out, voice already pleading as you take a step out of the closet and take both of her hands in yours. “Seeun can’t know about this.” She raises her eyebrows in surprise but nods her head in agreement, and you’ve never been so thankful for your friend as now. 
“Would she really mind?” Jake asks, looking at you, then at his friend. You turn to look at Heeseung behind you, who purses his lips.
“I’m not sure, but I have a feeling she would… She’s always told me she didn't want me hanging out with her friends,” Heeseung says, and you and Chaeyeong exchange a look; this was news to both of you.
You have no further time to discuss it, however, because Seeun’s voice calling out your name and Heeseung’s make all four of you widen your eyes. Chaeyeong fixes your clothes and hair as best as she can, then smiles at you reassuringly and nods, prompting you to imitate her. She ushers Heeseung into his bathroom and tells him to “freshen up or whatever,” and you, Jake and Chaeyeong leave the room just as Seeun reaches the door.
“Where’s Heeseung?” she asks, not a trace of suspicion in her voice, peering behind you into her brother’s dark room.
“Just needed the toilet,” Jake answers quickly, and that seems to convince her. 
She turns to you, an amused expression on her face. “Hope that wasn’t too awkward.”
You’re so surprised at your friend’s quickness to assume that nothing could happen between you and her brother, as if the idea was truly unfathomable to her, but you figure it’s for the best. You all head back into the party, Heeseung appearing some five minutes later. He scans the room for you, and when you make eye contact from across the crowded living room, he smiles, his shy, genuine smile that you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. 
You already miss him, you realize, his lips, his touch, his scent. That’s how you know that you’re in deep, deep shit.
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