#hope she had a great night
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gave the cute older lady at the goth club compliments on her outfit 🥰 life is too short to hold back positivity
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can I be mean for a second?
#went to a concert last night and the girl in front of was 1) extremely annoying#(as is her right she was like 15 or 16 what else is she gonna do)#but 2) she had a picture of taylor and travis at that tennis thing as her lockscreen and homescreen#which like first of all is just a bit weird why would you chose a picture of them where travis is wearing that horrendous hat#but also#just sooo parasocial why is there a random couple on your phone#and then the pre-show playlist included ready for it and she didn't know the words???#anyways with all that being said god forbid teenage girls do anything#hope she had a great night#personal
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Really the biggest problem with the Great Gatsby on broadway is that they made Nick Carraway 90% less bisexual, and really that alone should've had them barred from the Tonys
#wacky watermelons#the great gatsby#yes i just saw it today dont @ me#really through my mother's singular obsession with jeremy jordan and my seemingly general interest in classic lit all things are possible#my mom got locked into conversation with a ~13 y/o who had turned around in her seat to talk about jeremy jordan + plays in general#so really she met her match#and i was sitting in the seat next to her rambling out the play vs the book and accidentally spoiling a very good bit of staging#(spoilers) the pit is dressed as a pool. the pool ladders are a permanent fixture and really are quite ominous once you notice them.#ANYWAY#i will not repeat my mini essay that i sent in the discord. i guess you can ask and i will. i do love talking. but here i will not#good night. i hope every day they send gatsby an american myth to broadway#edit: if you saw me mispell his last name. no you didn't <3
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lizzie get two wolves 👍
#strato.txt#oil painting#wip#im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge#ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here#i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family#solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me#ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art#my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young#she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it#they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately#the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared#and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming#somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me#my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars#so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life#anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe#maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk#either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before#and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek#i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see
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sadly i wasn't able to get any writing done tonight and will be a lil busy tomorrow, but pls have some chiyo headcanons before i go to bed <3
tokyo ghoul is really up there as far as chiyo's favorite series go; she has a lot of nostalgia for it, though when she reads/watches it, she tends to skip around the parts that make her sad. hide is her favorite character :' )
in general, chiyo gravitates towards characters who are very loyal and pretend to be fools/incompetent. the goofier and/or the snarkier, the better tbh!
the clerks at her local convenience store know her by name now and sometimes join her while she eats cheap ramen. she used to feel embarrassed bc it's a terrible habit to visit the store in the wee hours of the morning, but now she likes that they're growing to be friends. sometimes she'll tell them plot ideas for upcoming manga chapters
chiyo dabbles in all sorts of video games, most enjoying fantasy rpg's and horror games. she grew up watching her dad play the final fantasy and resident evil franchises, though her mom wasn't too happy when chiyo had nightmares about zombies later on :' )
chiyo has a bunch of different playlists she listens to according to vibe, activity, and the kind of inspiration she's looking for. all of these playlists were made by her cousin naoki
though she doesn't mind at all being the little spoon, chiyo prefers being the big spoon! there's something comforting about being pressed against someone's back, burying her face in their shoulder
chiyo constantly talks herself into and out of anything and everything. a new pair of jeans, hanging out after work, a new friendship, buying a new computer -- chiyo argues with herself a lot
chiyo's favorite studio ghibli film is howl's moving castle
#me who hasn't finished tg or touched it since the anime first came out: chiyo frikkin loves tokyo ghoul#asdfgh but she does!! and it's a lil bit of a reference to my obsession with it during her early days#she had a verse and everything... though it probably wasn't great :' )#and her favorite character being hide definitely tracks but it's also bc i'll never forget the hide who wrote with me#think about them every now and then bc they were so nice and our lil interactions stuck with me :' )#hope they're doing good <3#anyway!! time for bed friends#if i've posted this too late for anyone to see i'll just reblog it in the morning but till then!! good night!! MWAH!!#headcanons | chiyoko
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how deal with taidan
#^ crying over saki for the second night in a row#i am Not Okay about the fact her taidan is exactly a year after her pb footage aired on sky stage#bc that was the very last thing where i was like ok yeah maybe saki IS my second fave of all time#feels weird to call her my second fave#shes like basically on par w aasa 😭 idk how else to word itjfhd#idk not the point i am just emotional and sad and will miss her dearly#but also wishing her luck in whatever she decides to do next whether that be in the public eye or not#also just feel so sad about how busy ive been recently 😭😭#was planning on going back and watching all her shinkos and leads that i havent watched yet before the 13th but uni hit me like a truck#and i have not have time 😔#have not had *#sorry if you are reading this 🙏 it is not coherent 🙏🙏 fjdhdjd#idk i was torn up enough over kiwa and this is about to be 4000x worse sofhdhdjd#did watch every sakigumi show in order a while ago w my gf and that was nice at least#idk man im excited for aasas run im sure itll be great im just so not ready to say bye to sakigumi#god if youd have told me when i first got into zuka i would be this torn up over saki leaving i would not have believed you#but here we are#at no point was i expecting to get This Attached to saki but it just kind of happened#aasas fault whatever#fjhdjdhd#sorry none of fhis is coherent i do not know how to organise or articulate my thoughts#idk i love s4kiaasa so much#getting to watch them together both on and off stage for the last two and a half years ish since i got into zuka has meant so much to me#i hope they both continue to thrive and i look forward to seeing what they do next
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Oh my god hey besties guess who's having an awful time like mentally
#ironically I have an email to respond to for an appointment with my mental health worker but I don't have the energy to answer#I've eaten approximately one meal and then dessert today. Nothing else. It's 11pm#And the thought of eating just the half a bag (snack sized) of chips makes me want to cry#not to mention the days long urge to take a knife and try to cut out my veins. Like a dissection but I still get to watch#Playing guitar hero last night was great for giving me something to do that didn't make me think#except for the part where every time I missed a note I hated myself more#I ignored my bestfriend for 3 days after proclaiming that everything was bad and I didn't want to be alive#and then when he asked if I was still alive and I replied we had an entirely self deprecating conversation#Ryanna was texting me this morning and I replied but the whole time I had no interest#And at one point I wanted to cry just because nothing was right and it was all too hard#Ryanna is usually my favourite person to talk to#She said she'd text me again tonight (to finish the conversation) and I'm hoping she doesn't#I hope she's too busy#So yeah besties having a hard time lmao#jamie shut the fuck up#personal blog#just vibing#rambling#vent :(
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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Meanwhile, at Oedon Chapel 🌙
#sin scribbles#sinning in progress#(have a sneak peak of one of my favourite panels from the upcoming pages of altar. THORST.)#(and when i get that feelin....i want..... ✨️ sanguinous healing ✨️ )#(new ship name for ruzianna b like AKCKKSKDD IM JOKING or am i)#(oh lady ruza. my beloved. you and your adorable fangs)#(oh turns out i was lying when i said she had them for no reason except me being a gay. i discovered there is a reason LOL)#(ive drawn more teeth for these 8 panels than i have in my entire life god I HOPE YALL LIKE TEETH)#(ive just been sitting in the dark listening to hail the nightmare drawing these pages for the last week. its great)#(posts this while nobodys looking and disappears back into the night)
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*threatens todd with a bat* there is a good game hidden beneath all this jank todd i can see it. why did you insist on adding all these empty planets everywhere todd? why?! why the forced focus on exploration when we already always wanted to explore your games without you forcing us?!
#saskia plays starfield#i had a lot of fun last night tbh#i started the uc questline and i was pleasantly surprised how the quests where written tbh#i had a lot of personal conversations with my companions which i loved! her background and some perk she has coming up during dialogue#i did the mantis quest which was awesome#just! yesterday was great#but today. god so many instances where i was just dissociating through them loading screens again#counting damn sheep until my protag finally managed to walk 8787m through an empty planet to reach some quest area.....#it feels like im doing work sometimes which is not good#just. there is so much where im like ''god i cant wait until there is a mod for that'' dunno man. rather would have bugs rn than that#the beginning is so slow and then it becomes good. just to be constantly disrupted by its flaws#and dont get me started how unfortunate it is that new atlantis is the central hub and first impression the player gets of the game#the blandest city i have encountered yet#there are just. a couple things where i just dont understand what toddy and co. where thinking#actually i do understand but i wish it was different. oh well#sorry about the rant if anyone is reading this lmaooooo#i just hope tomorrow will be a good starfield day again. i paid enough money for this damn game#just imagine how this game could be if it where all on one map like bethy games usually are. i cannot imagine i would rant about it
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[X] has appeared! What to do?
"Okay, none of these options sound appealing."
#🌈 || dashboard games#🌈 || memes#Stolen from Rue Draig and Holly#And probably a few other people I forget who reblogged this today and last night#KHARE FEELS CONFLICTED BY THESE RESULTS#She hates getting yelled at#She's had way too many scares this year#Do “it” sounds incredibly threatening#And feed... well#She has a very restricted diet and can only taste/consume a specific food group#Feeling so very good today!#Got one longer response done and feel writing motivation coming back#Had an awesome shift at work too#It was busy but just nice you know?#Hope you all had an equally great day! <3#I'm hoping this streak continues and I can do more writing#I realized I can write if I don't focus on how hard wording is
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merry crumbus or whatever
#yay its almost overrrrr#im still stressed out lmao#im gonna complain a little okay. cause our family decided to do a secret santa this year instead of the traditional gift giving#of whoever buying whatever to whoever depending who has money and whatnot#but anyways. i got off fairly easy with getting my sister so no problem there. i know what she likes and everything#the problem is that my gift giver is most likely gonna be either of our parents. and i know i shouldnt complain butttttttt#(i also know its not my older brother due to context clues and i doubt my sister got me back. which leave our other brother and parents#i'd trust my brothers but not my parents to buy me gifts. especially since we had a 'no requests' rule in place for this exchange)#so either 1. im gonna be hearing from my mom that im difficult to shop for and she doesnt know what i like and i get to listen how estranged#i am. once again. hurray#or 2. my dad is gonna buy me clothes that are a size too small and then complain to me and call me fat which. great /s#the best option is my brother did get me and im just gonna get nerd shit for christmas but. im not super hopeful#so i hope im terribly wrong about this and it'll all go fine and i know i shouldnt care so much about gifts but also#we are only giving out things to one person each this year. it has some weight to it. so like... i dont wanna be rude but my parent dont#know how to shop for me. just because i couldnt ask for a hairdryer and a rice cooker that i would have wanted#anyways. i need to clean a little idk when my dads picking me up. im just ugh. stressed and its stupid but yeah#complaining about gifts as a 32 year old is so entitled i know but goddamn what am i gonna do with clothes that dont fit for example#sigh. sorry i needed to get that out#also my face still hurts yay fuck my wisdom tooth tbh#night is an absolute mess on main
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Successfully fended off The Group Chat on a THIRD platform.
#although technically I’m still in three because this girl has added me to TWO insta group chats. I gave her my number for an unrelated#thing and the next thing I know I am in a text chain with her and her coworkers. they talk about work. I am unrelated to any of this.#she told me to join the discord and I said I didn’t have one. I hate group chats. I don’t ever have anything to say they don’t provide#useful info that someone else wouldn’t simply share with my privately and they clog up my notifications.#I went over for game night and we played a flattery game for FOUR HOURS 😭 it was agony. I didn’t know anyone and I’m supposed to choose#flattering cards for people??? like you give the best hugs. you are loving to ok you meet. your smile makes me melt.#like hello I know your pronouns that’s it. and at the end we all had to take pictures of our cards to remember what everyone things of us.#like. I didn’t think any of that of any of you. it was such a weirdly fake and manipulative game for an outsider. hated it.#did I mentioned three round of this took four hours? it took four hours. four. hours.#cute game for close friends and/or partners. not so great for someone you don’t know. and who is also uncomfortable with this sort of#manufactured intimacy. she admitted to hoping I join the polycule ‘someday’. I said no. I said I wasn’t interested. but I’m starting to#think that means very little. when I came over for game nights I was forced to stop and have a meeting with them to say when I would show#up to events on the group calendar. I feel like I’m in a cult!!!! what???? text me the week before it happens maybe I’ll come. I’m not#going to commit to smoothies on Tuesday the third week of December!!!!!#anyway. all of this is making me really nervous to text my classmate. I feel like I’m going to come off as her. just. incredibly needy. ugh#anyway just have to vent because this is feeling so bizarre. I’ve been so tired this week socializing and this game was a bad way to end it#I’m also getting paranoid that they have tumblrs and will find me and read these and confront me about it. I should delete them or#private them. this is ridiculous.
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Okay I have a story.
So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)
During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.
She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!
I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.
I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.
My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.
No. Me and Cat Pole.
It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.
Um.
Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.
Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.
Great.
Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."
I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.
After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.
I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"
My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.
This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.
I take a picture. I text her.
Okay.
I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.
I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.
My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.
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I got a vaccine on my left arm and I drew all day, so my right arm hurt more than my left cksbjd
#the last two time only my arm hurt nothing much aside from this#so it will probably be similar#it just hurt and kind of stiff where I got it not the rest of my arm which is great#the nurse was incredible I barely have time to finish my sentence of ‘’I’m only getting covid cause I’m afrai of needle’’ she was done bxjsb#she was like ‘’that’s fine cause I’m fast ! actually I’m already done’’ kfjdkdjd#she was so nice !!!#and she had pokemon band aid I was hoping she sees my Pokémon shirt and give me one but no 😂#i Hope it won’t hurt a lot during the night I get up at 6:30-45 and I’m already so tired cause I slept like 6 hours last night :’)#but I’m going to answer dono asks eat a little and go to sleep at probably midnight I will be done !#alex.txt
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No One's Gonna Love You Like I Can - London Nov 1st 2024
#laura marling#the bit where she stops playing and says “cursed”#was because there was some weird feedback on a mic#but also she'd told a story earlier in the show#about a guy who seen the previous night's show#and then come up to her before this show and said something like “you were great yesterday hit a few bum notes but great”#and she said “hope I'm not going to be thinking about that for the rest of the show”#and then lots of tiny things kept going wrong#and so she made the joke about him having cursed her#v cute#whole thing had “dead puppies” vibes IYKYK
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