#i did the mantis quest which was awesome

[fenharel-archived]

*threatens todd with a bat* there is a good game hidden beneath all this jank todd i can see it. why did you insist on adding all these empty planets everywhere todd? why?! why the forced focus on exploration when we already always wanted to explore your games without you forcing us?!

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON POWER RANGERS: Ranger Slayer got herself captured by Dark Specter's forces while saving Drakkon's ass. BUT Drakkon makes up for it by saving HER ass from Dark Specter's corruption. BUT, he died in the process. So that means Slayer now has to save everyone's ass. Again. Seriously, this is like the third event where Slayer has to save everyone.

it's Power Rangers Unlimited: The Morphin Masters!

= so Drakkon and Slayer training together is canon, okay cool, book over, I got what I need

= But moving on from that these panels specifically make me crazyyyyy because what do you mean Tommy and Kim together means "happy ending"? What do you mean referring to Kim as Tommy's guardian angel? What do you MEAN redrawing Drakkon's death scene as more intimate than it was in 116????????

= MY STUPID EX-HUSBAND DIED ON ME SO I HAVE TO GO ON THIS STUPID QUEST

= So something cool about these energy beasts - they're all tied to ranger powers! A yellow bear, a red lion and ape, a gold praying mantis, a white rhino, and an orange scorpion. Sure, the latter wasn't TECHNICALLY a ranger power, just a zord, but there's a point to the "the PR universe did have Kyurangers at some point" theorists

= I just like this panel because it's silly. she's got the zoomies

= Slayer continuing to win the idgaf war against literal deities

= and then they founded an animation studio that gave us the Minions. so unfortunately they gotta go

= but in seriousness, I guess this is how we're going to rationalize how the MMs were portrayed in Beyond the Grid versus how they were portrayed in Power Rangers Universe - the BtG guys were a couple specific higher-power ones. It's fine, I guess. I'm still not a fan of the idea of an entire civilization just calling themselves Morphin Masters, though. Just make.....THESE GUYS the Morphin Masters. Why are they ALL the Morphin Masters??????? Now we have to establish a SUB-SECTION of the Morphin Masters!!!!!!!!!

= Slayer holding Drakkon and his death in high regard like this.......god. god.

= oh hi Blue really cool to see you again hope you don't die in the next few pages

= oh well never mind. Guess we're never going to find out why they came back to life, which was their reason for going into the Grid in the first place, huh

= I do like how we're going back to referring to Blue with they/them pronouns. I guess in hindsight we really were just misgendering them for years. awesome

= I'm glad we're fully acknowledging all the shit Slayer has gone through but I will admit my immediate reaction to the "it was fire" line was "she would not fucking say that". Maybe as a teen, sure. But NOW?

Pink: follow me to the orifice

Slayer: .....the ORIFICE?

= oh hey guys, how have you been since you got retconned into existence and therefore have accomplished nothing in the main series

= I know this is supposed to be a whole thing of "ohhhh these guys think they're free but they're still being controlled yada yada" but at the same time as someone who hated the Emissary retcon and wishes that we could have gotten more from the characters as they were before........them being angry over losing what they had is very very good and I wish it wasn't done through "evil corruption magic." It was good with corrupted Slayer because they dedicated an entire issue to it and FREED HER at the end, allowing more time and space for development; here it's just a quick fight scene and in the case of Blue, followed up with death. And slight spoilers here, even if they don't die here, the way the Emissaries have been dropping like flies doesn't give me much hope for their survival if they show up in the main series

= I wonder if this is a reference to how in an early draft for the Ranger Slayer one-shot, the Bow of Darkness was going to be broken in half by Zombie Rita and Slayer would have used it as dual swords. Either way it's fucking cool

= also while the inclusion of Dino Thunder as one of Pink's forms is a simple mistake, it takes me back to those old DT AU fics where Kim became DT Pink. They're canon now guys, no takebacks!

= So turns out the "Illumination" are just a bunch of senile grandpas. Yeah, that's.............the big revelation for where the Morphin Masters have been. ok

= Now let me just say for this story, the Morphin Masters being useless is a fine decision, for the same reason why the Morphin Masters were useless in Dino/Cosmic Fury - you can't have these overpowered god figures show up and fix everything with a wave of their hand. This applies to every story ever - the god-like figure is captured, or dead, or simply doesn't care enough to interfere. It's a very basic and logical choice for a narrative in order for our actual grounded protagonists to be the heroes.

HOWEVER. It's another instance of Boom hyping up these kinds of storylines as groundbreaking revelations of PR's mythos for years just for the actual reveal to be kind of a letdown. Phantom Ranger's identity. Dark Specter being a major villain. The Squadron Rangers. And now the Morphin Masters' current status. All hyped-up concepts that either get rushed or end up secondary to other concepts, and in the end, don't feel like they matter. It's getting to be a bit tiresome, and I'm saying that as someone who doesn't hold PR lore high on her list of reasons I enjoy the franchise in the first place. And it doesn't help here that, as I've said before, it just feels more like a way to stretch out this event to fill its year-long timeframe. By the end of this book, nothing was accomplished except two more Emissaries are dead (not that they did anything before this) and I guess Green and Black will eventually join the fight, so what was the point of it all. Slayer never really believed the Morphin Masters would help them anyway, so it's not like she changed by the end either - Pink was the only one who really developed as a character, and, well......

= Pink quick eat an imaginary Snickers you're not you when you're hungry

= this is the third person Slayer has killed in two books. she's so good at her job

= also you may have noticed that we've killed two Emissaries and they're not turning to stone nor having a giant spider boi burst out of their bodies. It's soooooooooooo cool how that entire story arc meant nothing in the long run

= ugh yes queen swear off religion just like that

= also at this point Drakkon has wielded the power of a Morphin Master and Slayer was offered the position of one. What I'm getting at here is Tomberly are indeed divine figures

[lady-of-luthien]

HFW thoughts

Have I been obsessed with Horizon Forbidden West since it came out on PC? Yes. I have finished the main game's storyline and recently finished the Burning Shores DLC. I've still got loads to do, so now I'm exploring without imminent questline doom getting in the way (I did plenty of that before I finished the main quests tbh. Who doesn't?).

I love this game. I love this IP. Love love love. OMG the second game IS SO PRETTY! I love all the traversal options and climbing puzzles. More thoughts later.

I want the HFW art book. I might want some merch. I downloaded the Focus on the Heart game and plan on playing that.

A friend of mine asked me recently "Which game do you like more? The Star Wars Jedi games (I was obsessed with Survivor last year) or the Horizon games?" I gave it some thought and while I love me some Star Wars (Merrin and Cere are absolute badasses), I think I like the Horizon games more.

I feel like Star Wars limits itself because it's been around so long and has had so many stories written in a specific time period, etc. I just want Cal and Merrin and the Mantis crew to DO STUFF without restrictions. Why is that so hard? Anyway.

TLDR: Horizon games are awesome for so many reasons.

[moviewarfare]

A Review of “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)”

Guardians of the Galaxy was one of the best and most surprising things to come out of the MCU. They were an unknown group with heroes that were even more unknown than Iron Man (at the time). However, thanks to director James Gunn, he made them one of the most popular Marvel characters and team. I loved the first one and it is still up there in one of my favourite Marvel films. The second one is a great movie but not as good as the first one. There is a joke that the 3rd movie is always the worst which did occur with Ant-Man recently. Does Guardians of the Galaxy fall into this or does it deliver an epic trilogy?

One of the core themes in the Guardian of the Galaxy movies is family and loss. This is still prevalent here and still as powerful. We see the Guardians feel closer as a family than ever but also argue a lot like family too. In terms of character arcs, Peter is still reeling from the loss of Gamora, Yondu and even his mother which is making him go to the bottles. His struggles stem from self-blame for those losses and becoming more protective of his current family, The Guardians. He has conflicts with alternate Gamora who he still sees as his Gamora which she is having none of. Nebula is also a stand-out character this time with her being a member of the Guardians and not an antagonist. She has great interactions with everyone and her character arc is a great one. The character that is the major focus of GotG3 is Rocket. We finally get his backstory which is so dark and heartbreaking that it genuinely brought a tear to my eye. Mantis and Drax are still the idiot duo but they get some emotional moments and even cool scenes where they shine. Likewise, Groot, Kraglin and talking dog Cosmo are mostly just there but they get moments to shine too.

On that note, the return actors continue to do a great job in the role. They all get to flex more of their emotions due to this more emotional entry. Special praise to Bradley Cooper as Rocket who gives a stunning voice performance. Additionally, I must praise Chukwudi Iwuji's performance as the villain High Evolutionary. He gives a full-on narcissistic, zealous and unhinged performance that makes him so hateable. Another standout element from this series is the music and its incorporation of non-mainstream pop songs. James continues to use great songs such as "In the Meantime" by Spacehog and he uses them in great ways that benefit the movie. One difference this time is the use of some more popular songs such as "Creep" by Radiohead and "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machines. Nevertheless, they are used satisfyingly that I don't mind their use.

There are a couple of awesome action scenes. The ones that come to mind are the fight against Adam Warlock where we get to see the guardians struggle against a powerful foe. Moreover, there is a phenomenal one-shot-looking action scene that illustrates all the Guardian's fighting prowess and it was so cool. The costumes and set design are well-designed. I love how creative the world is with the unique-looking planets and different alien species. Most of the aliens are done using prosthetics and they look great! The story itself is quite basic as it is mostly a fetch quest but the emotional payoff to all the characters' arcs is extremely satisfying. We get what feels like a proper ending to the original Guardians team that I wouldn't be angry if this is the last we see of these characters.

However, I do have some minor gripes with the movie. Adam Warlock who was teased since Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 is finally here but he doesn't feel that meaningful to the plot. He is just there to be a nuisance rather than a significant antagonist. Him having the mindset of a child just makes him slightly lame. One common superhero movie issue is the vague villain powers which are also here. The High Evolutionary seems to be able to use telekinesis or emit giant energy blasts but never seems to do it against the Guardians when he should. Alternate Gamora was one of the biggest challenges as it was a Gamora with none of the character development from the first 2 films. In this film, she comes off as way too cold and aggressive than the Gamora of previous films which makes her not that likeable. Although, you could argue that was the whole point as she isn't the same Gamora, plus she does have her character arc. There is also a weird Nebula and Peter subplot that is hinted at but never amounts to anything.

Overall, what an amazing end to the trilogy! With MCU projects lately being kind of subpar, it was great to finally have an entry that delivers. We now have another entry in great MCU trilogies with Captain America, Tom Holland's Spiderman and now Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't know what is going to happen with the Guardians of the Galaxy movies now that James Gunn is done and moving to DC. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to what James does as head of DC and I can't wait to see what new direction the Guardians go in.

For more reviews like this visit:

https://moviewarfarereviews.blogspot.com/

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[ingloriousbi]

Long, drawn-out 80-hour experiences aren’t always a good thing. They can be incredibly frustrating.

Side quests become tedious, with no real rewards. They become fetch quests or grind quests or inconsequential rp quests. 100% requires all these little collectibles – like the ac feathers or solas’ orbs or what have you. Travel between locations can be difficult or stunted, and gameplay can become tedious – the fighting takes too long, or the cutscenes take too long, or the dialogue is unending. I usually find myself skipping through long dialogue when I can read the text, I don’t usually read everything on terminals, and I usually only ever 100% things out of compulsion.

For reference: my first dark souls 3 playthrough was 50 hours, but my second was less than 20. Even going by just the second play through I would consider dark souls 3 worth 60 bucks.

Because it isn’t *just* about hours. An 80 hour, long-ass drawn out low quality shit show isn’t better than a high-quality, well polished 20 hour game. But those 20 hours need to be *polished* and they need to serve the game. In a game like dark souls 3, that meant the atmosphere, combat, boss fights and environment needed to be polished and interesting. And they were! The atmosphere was amazing, there was good enemy variety, the boss fights were awesome, the lore was interesting enough to keep me on my toes, and the combat system had good depth to it.

But RPGs need roleplaying elements. Shooters need engaging gameplay. For 60 bucks, the outer worlds should have offered more time with its existing system or greatly enhance it.

The armor and weapons easily capped their max armor/damage, and with the tinkering ability and unending trash a-la fallout, I had a better weapon than any drop or quest item ever gave me. Instead, the constant armor and weapon drops exclusively became a means to money, and this translates into insane inventory management, because of course it does. I can’t speak too much to weapon/attack variety, because once I’ve got a gun I like I usually do a full playthrough with it (although the distinct lack of snipers annoyed me, especially for places like roseway and tartarus), but armor variety was shit. Armor offered little balance, bad mods, shitty stats, and all looked ugly as hell. I never used any medical items except for the standard heal, and never felt the need to (I was playing on regular difficulty). The difficulty curve was really weird; I struggled the first hour or so and soon after I was completely overpowered; but manti-queens were still always a tedious, semi-difficult bore, even when I one-shotted everything else.

The roleplaying elements started off really strong. Back in Edgewater, way at the start, someone even commented on my wearing marauder armor – which just happened to be the first thing I looted from some enemy. There was a lot of humor to balance how genuinely overwhelmed I felt with this new world (in a good way) that slowly gave way to more serious narrative, while never taking away your options for fun. As I found my bearings in the world, the narrative offered good themes and such (obviously; fuck capitalism!) but also had a good balance of “large save the colony!” vs “Im just a dude in space” and you can roleplay for either or in the middle of those two. There was never really a moment I felt it was weird that I was putting the main quest on “hold” to do side quests (with the exception of the fucking tailoring quest line which was really jarring lmao).

Questlines typically offered a healthy balance of options; it really allowed for different outcomes, different character motivations, etc. I didn’t feel shoe-horned into certain dialogue options in order to complete quests the way I wanted to complete them. There was nuance to your choices/dialogue options with characters and in questlines. Persuade, lie, or intimidate weren’t always a different button to the same outcome; oftentimes they actually led to different things happening in the quest. There were also different ways to complete your goals in-game, with different kinds of stealth, to murder or not to murder, talk your way through, guns-blazing, etc. Usually quests gave options I wasn’t really expecting and had a pretty good amount of interactivity between them (think the strike quest on Monarch, or the Sublight quests on Monarch). The only time I felt really shoe-horned was at the end of Lily Hagen’s questline and during the ending quest. Lily Hagen’s last quest is also the only time I felt like I got a significant choice where the consequences didn’t actually matter, which was really frustrating considering the ending of the fucking game.

The way skill points allowed for both in and out of dialogue improvements was really cool (e.g. persuasion isn’t just new dialogue options but affects enemy’s statuses, etc) and the combination of skills required during roleplay elements (i.e. you need persuasion AND science points to convince a scientist of X) felt really strong and did really well for my immersion. In the last mission this all went to shit though.

I liked a lot of the individual characters (I fucking love Phineas and ADA, Zora and Sanjar and even the Van Noys were really fun, a lot of characters were really sympathetic like Reed and Graham) and most of the companions have interesting enough personalities, but there’s a definite problem with the crew members and their implementation.

There was a huge difference in character quality between them; Felix has significantly less character depth to him than any of the other companions, even though his questline felt like it should have had a significantly larger impact on a person. Ellie and Nyoka are super interesting characters, but neither really allow for significant character growth after their respective missions or during companion dialogue.

Parvati and Max have significantly more depth than anyone else on the ship, and these are characters with the most growth and arguably most impactful side quests (measured by impact on the characters). They also have way more, and more in depth, companion dialogue. And still I’d argue the growth is too little. You run out of dialogue with your companions super quickly and they rarely have anything to say about your choices or whatever. Only Ellie really spoke up about some stuff I did/had questions for me about Phineas and even then it didn’t actually matter. Ellie’s lack of character growth was probably the most jarring, because she actively starts conversations that would/should lead to it but she remains unchanged until the epilogue informs you You Did Change Her Mind After All. Felix’s lack of anything was really disappointing especially since I didn’t really care for him, but he was really sympathetic to the captain and to the unification of the crew, especially near the end (his joining the crew was also the most random). I loved Nyoka but her alcoholism is a little much and casually overplayed for no reason, and it actively inhibits what could/should have been character development after her mission. I actually kind of feel like non-companion NPCS like Catherine Malin or Zora had more character development and relationship development with the captain than some of my companions. Parvati got the most personal and had the most growth, but it was *all* in relation to her dating life lmao.

This lack of depth or use for the companions is really bad when you think about the way they are positioned in relation to the factions and again, this is made worse during the last mission. I was kind of happy there were no romances when that was announced, because I thought it would allow for more independent character growth instead of development based on whether or not you’re fucking the player character, but what it really lead to was static characters and static interaction with them. The interactions between them are fun at the start but there aren’t many of them and they quickly end up repeating themselves. I wasn’t expecting fucking Mass effect or Dragon age companions, but I was expecting better than the fallout 4 fare.

The gameplay, skill division and choices/quest options really allow for interesting replayability for both different options/character motivations within an ending but even more so when you consider the fully pro-board playthrough (idk if I could stomach it though). But even with another playthrough I’d be looking at just 40 hours of gameplay (if I 100% it again, and I could probably do it in less than 20 now that I know where/what/how and how useless most loot is) and the companions would remain disappointing.

And the ending just throws it all in my face, especially the skill/stat division is just… terrible. I was level 30 and all side quests were done; I couldn’t milk more levels/exp if I WANTED to, and it was still bad. But I did get to walk back to my ship, re-spec my stats, and then walk all the way back to the end of the mission I’d already played which was super fucking funny.

It was a good game, and most of the game was genuinely good, but the things that let me down were the things that I really wanted, or are really impactful (IT’S A SHOOTER RPG, WHY DOES YOUR COMBAT SUCK). And it was so short. It was a eally well polished, quality experience, and I wouldn’t have liked to see it stretched out to 50 hours because it would have ultimately done it a disservice (and the story WAS genuinely really good and well-done, the world was well-crafted, and I would have hated to see it drone on and one when it’s better than that) , but I WOULD have liked to see an hour or two extra per companion and a price reduction to 40 bucks at launch.

Theme: 10/10 Narrative: 10/10 Atmosphere: 10/10 Environments: 9/10 Shooter-gameplay: 5/10 Character creation: 7/10 (shitty physical creator 3/10, very good stat creator 8/10) RPG Dialogue/Quest Gameplay: 8/10 Companions: 4/10 Inventory management: 1/10

[plush-anon]

tejoxys

I finally saw the Endgame spoilers clip

*rubbing my grubby little hands together bc I love a good roast*

Welp, if it’s a roast you want, a roast you shall receive!

(Note: I think I spoke vaguely enough about everything big in the Clips below NOT to warrant an outright Spoilers tag, so I’m leaving it with just an Endgame Leaks tag and a ‘Read More’ line. Message me if you’ve a.) seen the Clips/gone scrolling for more info in the Spoilers tag and b.) think it’s more spoilery than I try to vague it to be, and I’ll tag it post haste)

Christ Almighty, the Clips just make everything look like an enormous MESS.

Thor looks just... awful. In every scene. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE HE’S IN IN THESE SPOILERIFIC CLIPS, HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. There isn’t a single one where he doesn’t look like a mess. Everyone else gets a glow-up (new hair, tattoos, freshly shaved) and looks put together in general (which is admittedly baffling - really, EVERYONE looks good in the face of mass genocide and failure to stop it from occurring?) but Thor decided to whip out his Big Lebowski cosplay at their big ‘save the world’ get-together... why??? (seriously Thor, was a shower too much to ask for?)

Now, if we’d had ANY inclination that anyone else looked rough aside from Tony and Nebula a la the stuck-in-space teaser trailers we saw originally, that would be one thing. Everyone there lost a loved one, everyone there has probably had to come to terms with the fact that they FAILED TO STOP THANOS when they were all right freakin’ there! NO ONE SHOULD LOOK 100% OKAY HERE. Show me dishevelment, poor coping mechanisms, show them having to struggle for weeks (maybe even MONTHS) after the events.

But nope! They are ALL in perfect health according to the trailers we’ve seen before. Even Tony, after nearly dying in space multiple times, just takes a bath and appears to be in fine health after getting back (with some bags under the eyes). Everyone’s perfectly fine, except for Thor (and maaaaaybe Hawkeye, who looks to have gone full-on Frank Miller Batman in his quest for vengeance, but still had time to get a mullet and some sweet sleeve tats in between!).

Nice.

This is a MASSIVE problem with the MCU as a whole, and has been for a while: their repeated attempts to gloss over and sweep consequences of mental trauma and illness away under the rug until it suits them for plot convenience or for comedy. You see this in the Thor sequels a LOT (Selvig being institutionalized for comedy after being possessed, Loki being kept in literal solitary confinement for roughly 2 years, Valkyrie’s PTSD and alcoholism played for laughs, mocking Loki’s suicide attempt from Thor 1 and the actual death he survived in Thor 2, ALL of Odin’s outright dickishness as a parent a la narcissistic parenting, Hela being imprisoned in isolation for literal CENTURIES), as well as anything to do with Tony Stark and his thought process (everything he does is pretty much as a result of the trauma he endures, and everyone in the Avengers just??? doesn’t recognize it??? and attacks him for it without going ‘hey, maybe he’s got PTSD’ or something???? what the hell, man). GOTG does a MUCH better job of it with Rocket and Nebula, but Mantis is left woefully unrealized (thought they do touch upon it briefly, and handle it with relative seriousness). 

Either way, Thor concerns me a LOT, because he is the king of a very small group of Asgardian refugees (and given the scene that shows in the Clips, as well as the appearance of another Thor character later on, we KNOW there were multiple survivors), trying to find a new life on Midgard in the face of not one, not two, but THREE fcuking tragedies - the destruction of Asgard, Thanos’ attack on their ship, and the Snap. Why is he the way he is, in the location he’s in (which actually appears to be the apartment from Team Thor’s mockumentary)? He is the only semblance of leadership left for these people who have lost everything and he’s Like That. Where is a Thor stressed and fretting over being fully responsible for once in his life over the lives of his people, over what little remains of his kingdom? Where is a Thor struggling with guilt as he tries to build a new life for his people, struggling with rule and politics and trade? WHERE IS HE??? Bc right now, all I see is Chris Hemsworth auditioning for the remake of The Big Lebowski, having wandered onto the Avengers set instead of his audition location by mistake -_-

The scenes with Steve leave me absolutely baffled (and some of them just ooze cheese, and not in a great way), because how in the fcuk do we get to those?? His scenes feel the most disjointed here, bc they all have a similar vibe to his personality in Whedon’s Avenger movies. Kind of the ‘Boy Scout’ presentation, which is particularly odd in the aftermath of the Russo Fools’ two Cap movies and Infinity Fcuk Up, which made him more serious, less - bright? I can’t think of a good word for it rn. This is particularly highlighted in his big ‘save the world’ speech we hear - it feels kind of like an ‘okay team, time to save the world!’ speech, instead of something more serious. Is it to try to bring everyone’s hopes up? What else is missing here that we’re not seeing? Why does he feel like he’s back to this persona in light of all that’s happened? Is it to highlight how good and awesome he is in order to {SPOILER REDACTED} like we see in that final sequence? (Also, the imagery for SPOILER REDACTED, while meant to be badass and awesome, feels... kind of awkward, IMHO. Which is weird, bc I thought it would be more amazing and awesome. IDK, maybe I’m just super jaded with the MCU by now).

Carol Danvers’ scenes are actually pretty on point. She gets to be a badass in her fighting scenes and gets an awesome new look that pretty much only functions to further cement her Lesbian Status. The only way she would be more obviously a Lesbian is if her suit were in the colors of (one of) the Lesbian Pride flags and a Cyndi Lauper song was playing in the background (or maybe Joan Jett).

Hulk/Bruce Banner... I don’t even know how they’re going to swing this. Like, at all. I’m particularly baffled bc given how some of the scenes appear to be set early in the film, it resolves extremely quickly to get to that point, and after all the drama of Hulk not coming out in Infinity Fcuk Up, I just - who the fcuk knows at this point. Also, that one scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} could be effective depending on how they set it up, but then... why exactly is he the one in the scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} and not Carol or Thor, due to Obvious Plot Reasons?

Finally, Peter Parker. He’s adorable in his scenes, ‘nuff said.

Now, after seeing these scenes, I am left EXTREMELY CONCERNED for this movie’s tone. Granted, it was only 5 minutes of footage for a 3 hour movie. Quite clearly, there is a LOT we aren’t seeing. All the same though, it feels extremely disjointed. I know they’re trying to pull away from the dark and grim ending of Infinity War, but these clips make it all feel a little too casual, a little too ‘let’s go beat the bad guy!’ as opposed to ‘we have suffered a great failure and a great tragedy - as heroes, we MUST work to undo this for the sake of those we have lost, and everyone left alive who has lost the people they loved’. Idk, that may just be me on this one.

But you know the worst part of all of THIS? The worst part is that this is probably what we’re going to get on the release date. This isn’t a trailer Marvel released with deleted live-action scenes featuring minimal to no CGI, or sections clumsily edited over with explosion effects - this was a slew of scenes with a TON of special effects fully rendered in painstaking detail, recorded with a phone on its side in what looks like a movie theater, with foreign subtitles on the screen (I honestly don’t recognize the alphabet, but it might be Middle Eastern). That CGI is expensive and time-consuming as all hell to do, and considering how many of these scenes had it? Either they wasted a shit-ton of money on scenes they didn’t use (seriously, a number of them have Rocket in them, or Hulk - those aren’t the easiest characters to render, I would imagine), or these are in the movie, end of story.

Not to mention, TPTB clamped down on these Clips HARD - like, IMMEDIATELY - as opposed to the process behind deleting Reddit comments. The fast and heavy response from Marvel and the Russo Fools, COMPLETE WITH OFFICIAL TWEET LETTER, along with a Chris Evans tweet not to Spoil the Shit, was to chastise the ones who did (which is somewhat warranted here, given how extreme the security on leaks for Endgame have been).

This response, combined with the quality of the clips, and some of the plot threads that actually seem to be mentioned/referenced in the Lego sets, leads me to believe it’s real.

And I’m not really impressed.

On the flipside, I’m actually kind of relieved, knowing what I’m going into when I walk into the theater opening weekend. I’m not going to be completely shocked and horrified by what I see. This works well in breaking the ice, and also eases some of my anxiety on what to expect (bc I have had a LOT of it for this movie).

The downside to this is that at the end of the day, this is what 22 films ultimately amounted to. Something that feels a little too glib, a little too rushed. Something that doesn’t feel like it’s doing right by the characters who were left, and the characters we love (at least, not in full).

I understand that this is an insurmountable task - to bring to film, with limited time, a satisfying conclusion to so many characters. To arrange hundreds of people within thousands of hours on a set budget to bring this massive story, building for over ten years now, to a close that will resonate and sate with as many fans as possible. But I read fanfiction that does just that with less time, fewer moments, no budget - hell, there are 10k oneshots that rewrote Infinity Fcuk to make sense and treat the characters with the respect that they’ve earned over 20+ films.

This? Doesn’t feel like those.

I will happily admit, I am guesstimating a LOT here, based off of what essentially amounts to 3% of the movie (slightly more, depending on how long the credits are sans post-credit scenes, but still roughly 3%). There is a LOT that is missing, which could fill in these gaps successfully and make this whole post look completely pointless. If it does that, I will gleefully concede that it fooled us on this one. Maybe all of these scenes really ARE hoaxes (even if they were painstakingly subtitled in a foreign language and shown on a movie theater-size screen, but I digress).

But the framing of the scenes looks like it was meant to showcase what the movie would be as a whole, in terms of tone and what to expect. And from that, I’m not excited, or overjoyed. I’m just tired.

And I cannot WAIT for this all to be over, bc I’m fcuking exhausted just watching 5 minutes. Lord knows what 182 of them will leave me like in the end.

*peers up at massive unending ranty analysis post* ...ah. Well then. that happened again. Ah well. Hope you had fun reading my nonsense brain goop, kiddos.

[prodigaldaughteralice]

alice liveblogs infinity war

we’re watching infinity war finally and I’m already mad at it or being grimdark

(spoilers I didn’t like it. also there’s some vague SU and PMMM spoilers in here because I ramble.)

like the end of Ragnarok was SO GOOD with the asgardian refugees and then they just fucking kill them all and the whole pre-credits bit was just pointless

also they pretended to kill Loki and that guy is never actually dead but it pissed me off

also I’m sad I’m so sick of Cumberbatch because I really like the idea of having a straight up wizard in your main party of superheroes

I’m glad Banner got to hug the shit outta Tony though

I really like this spider-man! I haven’t seen his movie yet but he has the goofy wisecracking that I loved about the comics as a kid DOWN

IRON MAN SPIDER SUIT?

why does tony stark have a samsung POS for a phone

and the Guardians show up and the mood immediately lightens; I am SO GRATEFUL TO THEM AND OH MAN MANTIS IS HERE I LOVE HER

HI THOR

your last movie was way better than this one

drax has the hugest boner for thor and I do not blame him but I would understand it a little more if he still had his luscious hair

THE FAMILY FUCK UPPERY COMPETITION I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TUMBLR JOKE

“all words are made up”ilu thor

okay who tf is this now in the fancy apartment with a glowy thing in his head am I supposed to know this????? THAT’S FUCKING VISION???????

also is that scarlet witch with him? I should probably point out that I watched Civil War once and I did not pay much attention because it was annoying the shit out of me

yep that’s scarlet witch here come her glowy things

designated girl fight time ughhhh

oH MY GOD STEVE ROGERS SHAVE THAT BEARD OFF RIGHT NOW nat what did you do to your hair did the director decide there could only be one ginger woman

oh I’m glad they got an excuse to reuse those awesome monster designs from the first Avengers flick in this flashback with baby Gamora

okay though I know they probably did it to make him look more like the comics but I cannot take Thanos seriously with that fucking CHIN he is committing hideous atrocities and now I am just annoyed and my immersion is broken

it is so obvious Gamora knows where the last stone is that I genuinely hope the secret is actually something else

...drax. why. stop eating. mantis you have saved me from that terrible joke I love you.

at this point it’s making me genuinely sad that I’ve been spoilered about the dust thing. like. I know he’s gonna get everything? I know he’s gonna ~win~ and oh my god drax fucking stop

THANK YOU MANTIS YOU HAVE RESCUED ME THIS DAY

FUCK YEAH GAMORA ABUSIVE DAD STABBING

oh jesus the blocks of clay/strips of paper effect is freaky as shit

jesus jesus this whole scene is freaking the shit out of me god ugh why there is no genuine point to dragging this scene out it’s just Suffering there are times in my life where I would be okay with it but Ugh

it genuinely took me a few seconds of Weird Romantic Music for me to remember they paired nat and bruce off in that one movie that was some weird shit can we just move on

YOOO IT’S WAKANDA TIME

...that was disappointingly brief

okay there is way too much torture in this movie. that’s the issue. physical emotional et cetera too much torture

I love spider-man though he’s a good boy

strange and tony are both the exact kind of arrogant asshole that you’re supposed to identify with but instead just annoys the shit out of me and spider-man is this scene’s only saving grace 

okay this new philosophy for Thanos since they can’t have him being in love with Death bc that would lead to Deadpool issues... it’s very... Kyuubey.

FUCK NO NEBULA SHIT BABY I LOVE HER AND THIS IS BULLSHIT I’M SO MAD JESUS THIS WHOLE FILM IS ABOUT TORTURE AND I HATE ITjesus jesus nope nope stop nope this is bullshit fuck

thor speaks groot and I am relieved but I miss movies where the default was thor speaking groot and there were only occasional dips into misery

why is thor trying to get a new hammer there was a whole deal in his last film about how he doesn’t need the hammer AND A ROBOT EYE? so they’re just gonna tear apart all the symbols of his character development? whyyyyyyyyy

groot put down your fucking ds

...is that peter dinklage as a giant I kind of love that

I’m glad Nebula pulled herself together I love herrrrrrr

they’re on a planet called Titan!! GAAANEYMEDE AND TITAN, YESSIR I’VE BEEN AROUUUUND... BUT THERE AIN’T NO PLACE IN THE WHOLE OF SPAAAAAACE... LIKE THAT GOOD OLD TITAN TOWN

“you’ll have to restart the forge... awaken the heart of a dying star” okay so it’s a side quest

mantis is bouncing around I love her

did Peter just adopt Peter as an uncle

...is that red fucking skull? like from hydra? why is there a nazi in space

the stone demands a sacrifice UGHHHHH this is DUMB this movie has no idea what genre it is so it’s just taking the superficial cliches from every one it finds

ughhHHHHHH and it’s gonna count her as ~someone he loves~ even though he’s just been a dickwad fucker who’s tortured her her whole life THAT ISN’T LOVE ASSHOLES ughhhhh fucking shit also attempted suicide on screen definitely did not make my night any better fuck this fuck this fuck this movie with a bread knife STOP HAVING DRAMATIC SHOTS OF HIM CRYING THIS IS BULLSHIT.

oh and now he’s floating in the void. on a cloud. in a pond. great. I don’t care.

wait all that and it’s not even the big stone for the back of the hand???? it’s a lil knuckle one???

rhodey just pranked the shit out of bruce and the mood whiplash is killing me

I fucking love shuri okay every second we are in wakanda is a gift and a relief from the rest of the movie

...explosions. of course.

“and get this man a shield” FUCK YES

I would like to interrupt this to point out that my cat is a perfect loaf on the floor and I love him

...suddenly there are monster hordes? where did they even come from? I mean out of the ships obviously but this is fucking stupid

oh my god all the wakandans with their badass ranged spear technology and then bucky is just standing there with a fucking gatling gun

black panther is a badass and I appreciate action sequences when they’re well done but this is not tied together enough for me to be invested I guess?

okay but there is legit zero explanation for why thor isn’t dying in the heat of the star? like. he just Decided Not To Die??? like. I would be fine if he was like “I have expanded my powers since I moved past my hammer, I think I can take it” or whatever but they just decided to have him be like “IT’LL ONLY KILL ME IF I DIE” which is just. dumb. 

ohhhh so they’re resurrecting him with the axe. which is not a thing we ever said the axe could do. okay. okay sure. sure. fine.

groot handle is badass but there’s been so much torture and self harm in this movie that having him whack his own arm off just is not fun even if he regrew it immediately

I’m glad thor is glowing again though.

ughhhhh thanos’s philosophy is so dumb I’m so done with hearing it YES DROP THE BUILDING LAPIS LAZULI THIS SHIT awwww he just got back up again I mean I guess BD did too DID DRAX JUST FUCKING HAMSTRING HIM

don’t you dare call him an insect arachnids aren’t insects ya purple dingus

NEBULAAAAAAAAAAA

they look like they’re gonna succeed but it’s too early in the movie and I want them to succeed right now so this movie will be over but also bc whatever they do to get him out of this will feel dumb

“he is in anguish” I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

DO NOT ENGAGE DO NOT ENGAGE SHIT

ughhhhHHHHHHH. GAMORA WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED YOU TO FUCK OVER THE OPERATION LIKE THIS. GODDAMNIT.

...any tree can drop an apple, he’s gonna drop the freakin’ moon?

BUCKY SPINNING WITH ROCKET IS HILARIOUS I LOVE IT also thor and cap’s moment of banter see THAT is what I like about these movies when they’re done well

scarlet witch is OP as fuck and I love her

designated girl fight x4????? we can mix it up a little okay????

bruce arguing with hulk is somehow relatable???

I love spidey’s robo legs tbh they’re super fun HE CAN’T REMEMBER NAMES FUCKIN RELATABLE

okay yes I still love having a wizard in the party I just wish it wasn’t THIS guy

did you just fucking stab tony that’s bullshit

“spare his life and I will give you the stone” WHY THAT IS A SHITTY DEAL TO MAKE HE’S ALREADY DYING ANYWAY this is a trick, right?

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

vision’s thanos-sense is tingling and I wanna go to bed like screw this

put some fucking sleeves on you big grape flavoured asshole

do we even know why Wanda’s energy is the only one that can destroy the stone? Was that explained and I missed it?

YO SHE BROKE THE THING

“I understand, my child... better than anyone” NO YOU DON’T ASSHOLE YOU KILLED THE PERSON YOU’VE BEEN MANIPULATING AND HARMING HER WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FUCK YOU

...he just undid it with the time powers THAT’S CHEAP AS FUCK ughhhhhhhhh also he just put that narrow oval gem into a nearly circular and much larger setting so fuck that

FUCK YEA THOR ugh this isn’t gonna stick is it ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is that baby gamora UGHHHH “what did it cost?” “everything” I DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING FAUX-SENTIMENTAL YOU SAY

and it’s time for the dusties. I got spoiled this happened but I don’t know who all it happened to

fuck this though

genuinely so pissed STOP TAKING THE BEST ONES NO NOT SPIDEY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCJ YOU FUCL UOI

fuck this entire fucking movie

ughhhhh and I really like the actor who plays Thanos he’s awesome in everything else I’ve seen him in but this entire movie was like. there was no point? they shoved so many people into one place that there were just sidequests instead of a plot. I want to go to bed tbh. Maybe I will be able to articulate my irritation later but UGHHHH.

[laughinglistener]

Girl Power & Talking Animals: The Sequel We Didn't Know We Needed

Again, not the American cover on the audiobook I listened to, but LOOK HOW AWESOME THIS IS.

Lirael

(Old Kingdom, Book Two) By Garth Nix

Format: Audio Book Narrator: The infamous Tim Curry again Length: 14 hours & 45 minutes Genres: Fiction, Young-adult, Fantasy, Adventure, Magic Take a Peek:  Audible  |  Overdrive  |  Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  Goodreads

Rating: 4 Stars

The saga continues! I had some serious doubts going into this sequel since the beginning of Sabriel was such a freaking bore. But once again, the promise of Mogget and Tim Curry made me take the dive and I’m happy I did. So far this Old Kingdom series hasn’t been pulse-racingly thrilling, but it’s a fun adventure with talking animals. That’s all I really need.

THE REHASH

*For some reason, this summary is super long. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Feel free to skip my rantings and head straight to the review on the bottom. I promise not to be offended.*

The prologue opens with a mysterious man named Hedge carrying the bells of an Abhorsen, instantly making the reader question where in the Old Kingdom timeline this is taking place. Last we heard, Sabriel—the new Abhorsen—was definitely female. Is this far in the future, or far in the past? He begins speaking with another powerful sorceress named Chlorr and it becomes obvious that they are followers of Kerrigor, the evil-being Sabriel defeated in the first novel. Hedge makes Chlorr his new servant and apparently these two goons are the new evil dream team.

This book is broken up into four parts, the first taking place 14 years after the ending of Sabriel. We see a girl named Lirael, who’s turning 14 and hates birthdays. They’re just a reminder of everything she doesn’t have. She’s a member of the Clayr, a group of mostly women infamous for their ability to see into the future, and Lirael has waited her whole life to get the Sight without success. Plus, her whole aesthetic is the complete opposite of a normal Clayr who are tan skinned with blonde hair, while Lirael is pale and dark featured. Now she is alone, her father’s identity a mystery and her mother long gone, with only an abrasive aunt as family. She is an outcast in every way—no easy thing for a 14 year-old—and goes to great lengths to push people away so she can’t get hurt.

After an abysmal birthday morning, Lirael spends most of chapter two listing all the benefits of suicide and plotting how to do it. In the end she settles for jumping off a cliff. You know, casual. The Clayr’s home is already set in the mountains and they have a paper plane hanger that would be perfect to throw one’s self from, so Lirael sets off. She arrives after a long hike and immediately hides, waiting for the guards to get lost to make her final move. As she waits, a paper plane comes gliding in and we finally see Sabriel and King Touchstone. They’ve come to visit the Clayr hoping for a vision that could help their current quest. Hedge is purposely causing problems as a distraction, though they don’t know this yet—only see the effects of his actions. The older Clayr deny having any related visions, and the now married couple set off again, but not before Sabriel spots Lirael hiding in the snow. Once the two are gone, the older Clayr demand to know what Lirael is doing and she breaks down. Without giving away her plan for suicide, she admits how miserable she’s been and how worried she is about not gaining the Sight yet. For some reason, the Clayr women are shocked and ask if it would help to have a job to take her mind off things. Um, duh. Lirael is overjoyed and accepts a position in the library, making you wonder why no one offered this to the poor thing earlier.

Contrastingly, fast forward four years and Prince Sameth is busy being a wholesome, trouble-free teen playing cricket with his cricket team. On the way home from a game, they belatedly realize that the driver has been going the wrong way and leading them straight into a trap. There’s a whole lot of zombies coming and Sam demonstrates his prowess as a leader, which is important because you’ll want to slap him in the coming chapters. Recognizing that the undead are being controlled by another necromancer, Sam decides to go into death to find them. On the other side, he sees Hedge who immediately tries to cast a control spell. It’s obvious that this entire plot was a grand scheme to get to Sam specifically and he just manages to thwart Hedge with some pretty kick ass moves. Sam goes back to reality barely making it out alive, with Hedge following close behind, determined to get control of the prince. For an awful moment it appears that Hedge succeeds, embedding something evil in his opponent’s heart, but we learn that he mistakenly hit Sam’s friend Nicholas instead. Nick is now unknowingly the host of an awful spirit that the creepy Hedge is trying to please. It’s all very Harry Potter, Professor Quirrell-esque.

via GIPHY

The cricket team narrowly escapes and they all go home, unaware that the danger has just begun.

While Sam recovers from the attack physically, he still suffers from post-traumatic stress and has become paralyzingly afraid of death (the place, not death death)—not too convenient for the Abhorsen-in-waiting. For a long while we follow Sam while he mopes about the castle, wondering how to tell his mother he doesn’t wish to be the next Abhorsen. We also see him get bossed around by his insensitive older sister Ellimere, which is apparently suppose to show us that she’ll be a great Queen someday. Just as the two royal siblings get word from their parents that things in the kingdom have gone from bad to worse, Sam receives a letter from Nick saying he’s coming to visit. This would be good news, but Nick didn’t want to bother Sam to come pick him up, so he decided to hire a random guide instead. It’s so obvious this “guide” is Hedge that even Sam sees how sketchy the situation is and decides to sneak out of the castle to go save his friend.

The now 18 year-old Lirael, on the other hand, is having a grand time working at the library by day and exploring it’s hidden rooms at night. She’s very gifted with charter magic and uses it to sneak around after hours. During one of these excursions she accidentally unleashes a freaky praying mantis monster and in the chaos, finds a little dog figurine. Once she manages to get away safely, she casts a spell to bring the dog figurine to life and OH MY GOD THERE’S A TALKING DOG NOW. Sassy Tim Curry dog is just as amazing as sassy Tim Curry cat and ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. Together they team up to defeat the scary praying mantis and explore the library in more depth, eventually finding the secrets of Lirael’s past hidden in one of the old rooms. The elder women of the Clayr help her find some answers and confess they’ve seen Lirael in a vision helping a sick young man.

They send her on a quest to find him, where she sails—quite literally—into Prince Sameth and they discover they’re looking for the same person. Both Lirael and Sam join forces to save Nick and *crosses fingers* defeat Hedge. In the end, we’re left on a cliffy and have to read book three to find out what happens.

THE GOOD

My main gurl Lirael is awesome and I really loved the parts told from her perspective. Even when she was having a major pity-party at the beginning, on the verge of throwing herself off a cliff, she was still relatable. What person hasn’t felt like an outcast at some point during their life? Plus, the Clayr seemed so oblivious to her plight that it really made me feel for Lirael. Once she gets the job in the library, though, she becomes a magical bad ass and it was amazing to watch her grow as a character.

Plus, let’s not forget Lirael’s bff, the TALKING DOG. Mogget the cat really saved me during the first novel and the Disreputable Dog (I’m calling her DD for short—that name is way too long.) saved me during this one. It’s kind of poetic. I’m really hoping this is a theme that runs throughout the series and we’ll just get more and more talking animals. Talking dragon. Talking horse. Talking bird. Talking fish. The possibilities are endless. When Mogget and DD finally met and bantered together towards the end it made the whole book for me.

I also think Garth Nix did a good job in the way he arranged the plot, and it really made everything more exciting. The way he switches perspectives between the two characters is great, and it helped build a lot of excitement for when Sam and Lirael finally meet. At the end of Sabriel, there was a time crunch and a sense of urgency that this book was lacking since it cuts off before the main confrontation. Breaking it up into different parts and characters was a good way to compensate for that.

And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Tim Curry makes this audiobook worth listening to. He has the best voice and does an amazing job acting out the story. I have already mentally added “animal voices” to the list of reason why I love Tim Curry so much.

THE UGLY

By the end, Sam is not my favorite person. It’s odd because I started off really loving him after that whole cricket team battle, but my opinion just got progressively worse and worse as the story went on. When he goes into death to hunt for Hedge, some horrible things happen and it’s completely understandable that this would freak him out. I never blamed him for the post-traumatic stress, and even felt for the guy when he went back home and had to deal with his awful sister without any help from his parents. After a while though, his whining starts to get old and by the end I wanted to kick him. My new literary best friend Lirael is making plans to go save Nick, and Sam says he wants to stay back and let her go without him. What?!? Are you kidding me right now? After everything you’ve been through and the countless times she’s saved your sorry butt, you’re just going to let Lirael rescue Nicholas (who’s your friend to begin with, by the way) alone? UGH. GTFO. I think part of the problem is that the book cuts off and we only see half of Sam’s character transformation, but that doesn’t make it any less infuriating.

Plus, I can’t lie, parts of this book were a little boring for me. Particularly Sam’s sections that depict him depressingly roaming about the castle and dancing terribly as a bird. I loved Lirael so much that I found myself anxiously awaiting her parts and not paying too much attention to his. It was nowhere near as dull as the first one, but still a little on the subdued side nonetheless.

FINAL WORD

This was really fun to listen to and definitely a better overall book than the first one. How often does that happen? If you liked the ending of Sabriel and loved the characters, this is definitely worth reading. All of the good ones come back and I really enjoyed seeing the story continue. On to the third!

And again, do yourself a solid and LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK.

Girl Power & Talking Animals: The Sequel We Didn’t Know We Needed was originally published on Laughing Listener

[joboysu]

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 – FUNNY AS IT IS EPIC AS IT IS DRAMATIC

(image source: JoBlo.com)

(image source: JoBlo.com)

**PRECAUTIONARY NOTE: Most of what is written here are my opinions. Don’t take them in a bad note. Everyone’s got opinions.**

Since 2008, Marvel Studios has been delivering us massive films based on their comic book works and so far they are doing a pretty good job. They’ve been earning tons of box office money—approximately $11 billion worldwide—and almost all of their entries are well-received by critics and fans, even those who don’t read the comics, like me (I’m too lazy to read but I sometimes acquire knowledge from those materials; sometimes I thank the YouTube series of Marvel called “TL;DR”, which stands for “too long; don’t read”, for acquired knowledge, and so far the episodes I watched were about Spider-Verse, Infinity Wars, and the Deadpool Kills series). Anyway…

The first entry of Marvel Studios of this year 2017, Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2, opened internationally late April and in the US May 5th. With a box office performance record of about $145 million domestically and about $430 million worldwide and an 82% “Fresh” Rotten Tomatoes rating, Guardians Vol. 2 is becoming an enormous hit in cinemas everywhere, from its special effects to its storytelling.

I for one am extremely amazed with the delivery of Guardians Vol. 2, and I had to watch it twice so I can see again how really great this film is, and also so I can write this review/reaction post. The visual effects were mind-blowing, the verbal humor was lovable, despite the mild cusses (no complete F-bombs, don’t worry), the visual comedy was colorfully funny, the pacing was fast enough to be satisfying, the characters were well-developed, and the drama equates the level of its comedy. Oh, the soundtrack was also pleasing; good for that “chillax” feeling you want. Those qualities of the film, from my perspective, can surpass those of the first Guardians and even those of Ant-Man, which almost shares the comedic concept (did I mention that Edgar Wright was the exec producer of Ant-Man and supposed director? That man’s really good in visual comedy. Take The Cornetto Trilogy and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World as examples. Also, don’t miss his new Baby Driver film.).

**SPOILERS AHEAD! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED GUARDIANS VOL. 2 YET!**

Again? Another CGI de-aging? Well, this one from Guardians Vol. 2 is just as okay as that from Ant-Man’s Michael Douglas. That from Captain America: Civil War on Robert Downey, Jr. as young Tony Stark? It’s not actually bad, but it’s also not good enough. It looked unfinished, but that really nailed the young RDJ look. Tron: Legacy’s Jeff Bridges-de-aging wasn’t good-or-bad as well. All I can say is CGI de-aging is just meh-okay, but hey, it’s necessary to the story so, okay, go with it.

I have said that I don’t read comics but gain sometimes knowledge about them from the internet or hearsay, but Ego The Living Planet (played by Kurt Russell) being the father of “Star-Lord” Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) instead of the comic-original J’Son of Spartax is kind of ridiculous, but somehow it worked, as the creators gave a different take on the origins of Star-Lord, making a powerful Celestial-hybrid version of him.

I didn’t expect to be Ego to be a villain at first, but unlike what a lot people say about “underdeveloped” villains of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, like the first Guardians’ Ronan The Accuser (Lee Pace), Ego’s villain development was a huge jump from supposedly-good-guy, and man, it was good and a nice representation of his power, and a good twist as well, when Star-Lord finds out that Ego was the one who caused his mother Meredith (Laura Haddock) to have that cancerous tumor on her head that lead her to her death in the first film.

Talking about comedy, we expect Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) to be the biggest funny highlight of the film, but he’s just under who’s actually the highlight: Drax The Destroyer (Dave “Batista” Bautista). Yes, the brawns of the titular ragtag group is the comic relief. Sorry, Groot, but you’re still the cutie relief of the film. You’re so adorable to be killed, as said by—*chuckles*—Taserface (Chris Sullivan).

What makes him so are his laugh reactions, like when Mantis (Pom Klementieff) revealed that Star-Lord is romantically, sexually in love with Gamora (Zoe Saldana), his (back to Drax) awkward descriptions to Mantis, calling her ugly and horrible but beautiful on the inside (before for you criticize this part, I just wanna say that I have zero problems with “ugly” people), and his misinterpretations of figurative language. Also, his riding-along with Rocket’s (Bradley Cooper) quips are the best, like when the latter threatened Star-Lord to put something under his pillow, and it’s gonna be turds of Drax, Drax laughed and responded “I have famously huge turds”. His awesome moment, however, is when he shot down one of The Sovereign’s drones whilst screaming “DIE, SPACESHIP!” That I can say is one of the subtle signs of Drax’s character development of finally understanding nonliteral speech, aside from the first movie’s “finger-to-the-throat means death” scene.

Other comedic highlights include Rocket’s traps set for the Ravagers when they hunted down him and Groot, plus Yondu (Michael Rooker) when they rebelled against him for his “softness” on Star-Lord, Taserface’s name that even made The Sovereign’s High Priestess Ayesha (Elizabeth Debicki) laugh, plus Rocket’s insults to him, the excessive amount of hyperspace jumps caused by Rocket upon escaping from the Ravagers and arriving to Ego (the planet which is also part of Ego the man, of course) which caused the faces of Rocket, Groot, Yondu, and Kraglin (Sean Gunn, brother of director James Gunn) to warp and distort, and of course, Groot misunderstanding Rocket about pressing the right button to set off the bomb to blow up Ego. Another funny Groot moment is him shown to be growing up to his teen state, where Star-Lord scolds him of shedding leaves and growing roots too much to fill his room while playing a tablet game. I also laughed out loud when Star-Lord compared Yondu to Mary Poppins when the latter was holding on to his whistle-controlled arrow while landing in a manner Mary Poppins does with her flying umbrella. And lastly, subtly funny moment is where Star-Lord is given by Kraglin a final memento from Yondu: a Zune player, serving as a replacement for his Walkman destroyed by Ego and has about “300 songs”.

Cameos! Stan Lee’s cameo, shown in both the “hyperspace jump scene” and the post-credits scene, was also a funny highlight when he tells his stories to what seemed to be the Watchers. This somehow is a hint to who Stan Lee really is in the MCU, which producer Kevin Feige confirms that he is a single character roaming around the films. Is he also a Watcher? Cameos also count Howard The Duck (Seth Green) who first appeared in the first film’s post-credits scene, Cosmo The Space Dog’s return, celebrity cameos like Sylvester Stallone, Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor from Smallville), Ving Rhames (Luther Stickell from the Mission: Impossible franchise), and Michelle Yeoh (Yu Shu Lien from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) as the first Ravagers, whose characters are based on the original incarnations of the Guardians Of The Galaxy: Stakar Ogord, Martinex, Charlie-27, and Aleta Ogord respectively, Miley Cyrus (WHAT?!) in an uncredited voice role of another Guardians original Mainframe, David Hasselhoff when Ego shapeshifted into Star-Lord’s childhood hero Michael Knight from Knight Rider, and rock icon Rob Zombie as the voice of a Ravager. Jeff Goldblum (David Levinson from Independence Day and Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park) appeared dancing along with the main characters in the credits role as his Thor: Ragnarok character The Grandmaster.

Easter Eggs! A Marvel movie cannot be complete without itty-bitty, or maybe as large as the cameos, details referencing other Marvel works. Aside from the appearances of the original Guardians as mentioned earlier, Ego’s Celestial being was one Easter Egg. Yes, it’s a largely seen Egg that’s part of the plot but this can mean the Celestials, known to be “judges” of the worthiness of worlds, will actually be in the MCU. Adam Warlock was also revealed in one of the mid-credits scenes, where Ayesha was shown staring at his birth pod, wanting to call it “Adam”, and as we know, Adam Warlock is a genetically-engineered being and an original ally of the Guardians and the Fantastic Four (whose film rights should have been on Marvel Studios’ hands right now and not of Fox’s) but also a dangerous villain due to his Magus alter-ego.

The visual effects did not fail to amaze. The work of Industrial Light & Magic shows their greatness with stunning visuals of the environments and the powers. Really feeling like they’re actually there and the characters are actually on those environments.

Fun put aside, the story was well done. Its pacing was fast but it told a lot for us to know about the characters. It made those characters grow more and show some changes in them in such situations. Nebula’s (Karen Gillan) relationship with Gamora was somehow built on her quest to win against her, despite keeping on saying she wants to kill her but just wanting to “have a sister”. Rocket’s feelings about Yondu comparing himself to him were kind of heartbreaking when we know of Rocket as someone who doesn’t care about everything around him, and that somehow built also a relationship between the two, and made them realize about losing friends. Speaking of Yondu, his sacrifice to save Peter was the biggest dramatic highlight. His revelation to be the real father figure to Peter was impactful, and his death is heart-shattering and it left no eye dry.

The soundtrack. Ah yes. It’s really good to listen to. Those 80’s songs, like what the first film delivered, are unique add-ons to the film making the viewers feel a different feeling, and they really fit into the scenes, from the swooning “Brandy” by Looking Glass to the tear-jerking “Father And Son” by Cat Stevens. “Come A Little Bit Closer” by Jay & The Americans was a perfect fit, title-wise, to the scene of Ravagers hunting down Rocket and Groot [and Nebula], and as mentioned, “Father And Son” was so sad to show Peter’s realizations of Yondu being his true “Daddy” in spite of wanting to feel the love from his blood-related father [Ego].

Overall I give Guardians Vol. 2 a solid 4.5 out of 5. Marvel has done yet another stunner with this film, compared to Doctor Strange which is also a visually great MCU entry, and Guardians Vol. 2 surpasses the fun and excitement of the first film, while keeping the flow started by it to show good development.

Sources:

http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/franchise/Marvel-Cinematic-Universe#tab=summary

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/guardians_of_the_galaxy_vol_2/

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/marvel-kevin-feige-stan-lee-cameo-guardians-of-the-galaxy-2-a7707101.html

http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2017-04-30/the-11-best-easter-eggs-in-guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2

http://www.ign.com/articles/2017/05/02/adam-warlock-explained-who-is-the-guardians-of-the-galaxy-character

http://www.ign.com/articles/2017/05/04/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-easter-eggs-references-and-cameos