#hope any of this helps…..jeez and this was me trying to SIMPLIFY things…

[nymphacae]

I really hope this doesn’t come off as a weird question, but do you have any advice for socializing in online spaces? You seem to be really good at interacting with people. /gen

This isn’t a weird question at all! It's actually an honor that you consider me qualified to answer this question, bc a year ago I Definitely wouldn’t have considered myself someone who’s sociable! (still not, tbh, social media is terrifying in a different way than reality is, lol)

I’m coming at this as someone who gained a following through….recognition, i guess? I hopped on really late into the game, so by the time i was on social media, the community kinda already knew who i was. And I’m glad for that opportunity! It’s a unique situation, sure, but i understand the feeling of being bogged down by ‘oh god am i doing this right’ ajskajsk

So yea, being sociable online is HARD, but I’ll ATTEMPT to narrow down how I approach it:

Be respectful! The golden rule!! You don’t know what the other is going through, what they’re going to say, the duration of the conversation, who they even really are, etc. but that doesn’t mean you can’t be considerate. Do no harm, take no shit

Be open-minded – you’re gonna meet folks from all different walks of life, and there’s absolutely no shame in stepping back and just listening! You learn a lot this way and it keeps conversations innovative and new ! share your perspective and realize your story/worldview/opinions are not End All, Be All. it’s way more rewarding than it might sound, or maybe i’m selling it well, who knows!

Be sincere! Reach out to those in a genuine effort to be friendly, and try to remember some tidbits about the people you’re with! Personalized messages are a great way to let folks know you care about them, just think about how YOU’D wanna receive a message from somebody — we’re all just people behind a screen, shrug

And also, maybe I’m just old and grew up on scary Stranger Danger PSAs, but I think another thing that’s lost is: Know When To Step Away!!! It’s SO easy to get sucked into the wormhole of social media. One thing to remember is: if you’re online, you have an online persona, and if you have followers or FANS of that online persona, you can form parasocial relationships. IE: I have a responsibility to ensure I’m not subjecting anyone to anything they didn’t sign up for; as someone who tends to discuss darker, more mature topics I try and keep a fair distance away from my younger viewers and let them know WHY. I talk with/follow some teens, sure, but they’re not my immediate friend group, i’m probably not in their notifs very often; that’s just how I’M comfortable online

Establish boundaries!!! Be upfront! YOU curate your own space online – and in turn, Please remember you’re not responsible for the image people make of you in their head, don’t let blocking/unfollowing or anything like that destroy you, sometimes you just won’t Vibe with someone; you don’t Vibe with everyone either, yknow? you can only ever be yourself, and that’s a blessing or a curse, whatever way you wanna consider it

Again, these are just tools that help me, and I’m still learning! Just test out the waters; it’s that first step in making an account and getting to talking that’s the scariest, but once you find your Group a lot of things are gonna come naturally, i PROMISE you. And you’re already Taking a big step in reaching out to ask this! I’d get so nervous submitting questions on anon back in the day….honestly, we’re ALL just freaking out on the other side of the screen, if that’s any consolation, haha

[shackalacklargebottom]

Prompt:: Dan keeps on blushin during date night (egobang)

((actual footage of me writing this i’m so sorry it’s very late))

*** *** ***

Dan seized the opportunity to check his phone while Arin went  to the bathroom between episodes.

We still on for tonight?

Dan might describe his heart as “aflutter”, were he not trying to keep his hopes from climbing too high. He’d been online dating for awhile, but this was the first time he’d actually agreed to meet someone in person - actually liked someone enough to meet in person.

If you still want to see me?

Truth be told, they’d been messaging pretty much nonstop for weeks - anytime he wasn’t with Arin, recording.

It was odd, only having someone’s username to go by. They hadn’t swapped photos, phone numbers, or even first names.

Of course I do. I’m curious if you’re as beautiful on the outside as you are inside.

Dan might have been more honest about himself and his interests these days, but old habits died hard, and he still wasn’t sure if he was ready to advertise to the world that those interests included men. HIs phone buzzed again.

I’ll be in the pink tie.

He tried to relax. So far, the guy seemed so sensitive, and eloquent, and gentle.

Arin returned. “Dude, don’t go in there for like… at least seventeen minutes. It’s like a fuckin’ war zone.”

Dan shoved his phone hastily back in his pocket, to Arin’s shit-eating grin - crap. That looked guilty.

“Who’s that?”

“Nobody,” said Dan, with a surprisingly painful pang. They weren’t nobody. At least, he hoped.

“Mmmkay,” said Arin, knowingly. He flopped onto the couch. Dan’s stomach flopped at the proximity. “You turn bright pink when you lie, dude, it’s kind of adorable.”

“Thanks,” Dan said drily. That was another thing: it hadn’t exactly simplified his own self-discovery when he learned that Arin wasn’t exactly heterosexual, either. Arin, his best friend, with whom he was closer than just about anyone else. Arin adjusted his mic and checked their equipment for a few moments, before:

“Well, go on, dude, don’t just leave her on read, or whatever.”

Biting back how do you know it’s a girl? Dan sighed and pulled his phone back out.

Gotta go - work. See you tonight. :)

Shoving his phone aside, Dan settled nervously back into the couch - “And we’re back!”

*** *** ***

7:58 p.m. Exactly. Not that Dan was checking. Obsessively.

He’d already gotten a booth and ordered himself one glass of wine, which he was now sipping very slowly in between checking the time, loosening and then tightening his tie, checking the time, wondering if there was any point in trying to fix his hair, checking the time, and refreshing his app in case any Sorry, I actually decided I don’t like you and don’t want to go on a date messages somehow hadn’t popped up.

7:59 p.m.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan spotted a man walking into the restaurant alone.

Oh god oh god oh god oh god. He felt himself turning bright red. His pocket vibrated.

Are you here? I can get us a table.

By the window.

Dan coiled into the corner of the booth, frantically trying to collect himself.

“Um…”

“Hi!” said Dan, overly brightly, turning -

- Arin was standing in front of him. Arin had his hair back in a neat ponytail, had trimmed his beard, smelled just faintly of cologne.

Arin was wearing a pink tie. Dan’s brain momentarily short-circuited.

Fortunately, Arin seemed to be undergoing the same process. “Are,” he started, “-you,” and “-wait. What?” He checked his phone, as if he needed to convince himself the messages had been real. Meanwhile, Dan performed a hasty experiment as to whether or not he could suffocate himself by burying his face in his hands.

“You’re… not straight.” Arin said. It was somewhere between a question and a statement of fact.

When Dan found the courage to look between his fingers, he found that Arin had seated himself across the table.

“Um. I.. don’t think so?” he stuttered. He felt more heat creeping up into his cheeks. “I, uh, look, we don’t have to do this- we can just forget about everything, okay, I’m sorry-”

Oh, good. Word vomit.

“No, no, wait, Dan,” Arin reached across the table and carefully took Dan’s forearm. Slowly, Dan lowered his hands, gazing shyly at his friend.

“I- want to stay. I want you to stay,” Arin said, slowly. “Jeez. I just never would have thought… You could have told me,” he said, not accusatorily, but warmly.

Dan opened his mouth, then closed it, a few times. He had to be crimson by this point; he could feel it.

“To be honest, I realized because… because of you,” Dan said, his heart pounding thunderously in his chest. “And I kind of thought this might help me… get over you, or something, I don’t know.”

Arin tentatively smoothed his hand over Dan’s sleeve and took his hand. “Well,” he said, carefully, “I was kind of hoping the same thing.” Dan’s stunned silence prompted, “But, this seems way better?”

If it was possible, Dan turned an even brighter pink. He took Arin’s free hand. “I think this is better, yeah.”

Arin smiled. “You’re adorable when you blush.”

[jerepars]

The Con Extended Chapter Notes

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here. Direct link to this chapter is here.

> Air conditioning wasn’t all great in humidity. On the blue line, the mixed smell of sweat and air conditioning on the last day of August was an unpleasant smell that couldn’t be escaped. In theory, it could be ignored, but it lingered and it was always there until the humid heat went away. It was something I’d gotten used to quickly though. The combination of Chicago’s effective public transit system and location of the apartment I shared with my brother made me a nearly daily “L” train rider. After a whole day of ballet rehearsal, it was very convenient that the distance between the station at Jefferson Park and the door to our building was a mere seven-minute bus ride plus four-minute walk away.

If you've ever wondered why the rapid transit system in Chicago is called the "L" train, it is in reference to the parts of the rail that are elevated. It's also a bit of a misnomer because there are major portions underground (subway) and at grade.

Here's a simplified diagram of the CTA blue line (the real thing is not at all in a straight line):

Betty and Chic's apartment is in between the stations at Jefferson Park and Harlem, but using only transit, with a bus ride home after taking the L, Jefferson Park would be the closest. Betty is traveling downtown to any of the Loop stations: Jackson, Monroe, Washington. Probably Washington, which I think is closest to Joffrey Tower. It's about a 30 minute commute.

Shoot, is this how out of hand my notes have become? I'm using visual aids? Jeez. Somebody stop me.

> Now granted, Norwood Park didn’t exactly have the same allure or price tag as Wicker Park or Lakeview, but living where we did meant my corps de ballet salary didn’t need to be stretched thin. Besides, I liked the simple honesty of our neighborhood. It wasn’t a hipster community trying to be something it wasn’t, it wasn’t under process of gentrification, and it wasn’t millennials living beyond their means. It was a blue-collar neighborhood of the middle class, immigrants, and firemen. It was within city limits but bordered the sprawling forests of the suburbs. I liked that our local supermarket sold fresh pierogi and kolaczki. I liked the selection at the Italian deli and the Irish pub that always had Blackhawks games on under the hum of workweek drinking, from October through the playoffs in the spring.

I actually looked up corps de ballet salaries and found an article from Pointe Magazine from 2013 that gave average salary for corps members in their first year. Betty isn't a first year corps member, so I would hope she makes a little more. But even so, there are bills to pay. I lived in Chicago for a little bit, and from doing apartment hunting myself when I got there, I know getting further away from downtown does make a difference in rental cost. My favorite neighborhood in Chicago is Wicker Park but there's just no way they could afford to live there with the disparity in income between Betty and Chic. And not to take a shot at Logan Square talking about hipsters and gentrification and millennials, because I do like Logan Square, but there was no way I was going to have them live there, either.

> Chic and I had lived in our apartment since I got out of the Joffrey Academy dorms. Our current digs had always felt like an upgrade to me. Sure, the dorms had been right downtown in The Loop, and at the time I’d appreciated the quick jog to class during the months of the stalking Chicago winter, but it hadn’t been that fun to live there when I was underage. Anyway, the heart of Chicago was in its neighborhoods, each with their own hidden spots, their history, their culture. I much preferred living in a real neighborhood over one surrounded by high-rise office buildings and the tourist fare of State Street.

Technically, "The Loop" is a community in Chicago and technically there are neighborhoods within the Loop. But to only ever see the Loop doesn't give a realistic impression of the rich culture that the neighborhoods around the city boast.

> I quickly went from feeling bad that I potentially smelled like the piss and vinegar of the L to wanting to kick him in the shin. It was one thing for him to not notice me. It was another for him to say, in kinder terms, that I looked like shit. That was so much worse.

I figured I would mention this now, because I'm sure it will come up at some point in the notes for the coming chapters, the title of the previous version of this story was Shell Games. I think it's better for me to just call it by its title rather than always saying "the previous version of this story". Anyway, Shell Games was named after the song "Shell Games" by Bright Eyes. I know there's an idiom, "full of piss and vinegar," meaning (in Google's terms) aggressive energy. I think it works with a double meaning here, because the blue line can be spunky in both smell and passenger attitude. But back to the song: there's a line in the song that goes sold my tortured youth, piss and vinegar, I'm still angry with no reason to be. So I guess I'm alluding to both the song and the old story in this instance.

> It had been a while since the last time I’d seen Jughead’s sister. The last time I’d seen him was at my parents’ Fourth of July barbeque. I’d been so busy ogling him from afar and avoiding being around him that I hadn’t even thought to ask him about her academic future with their financial situation.

> “Well, technically I have to take a bus from the airport to the campus. I’m going to Miami of Ohio.” Jellybean clarified. “And classes started this week already. I’m on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday-only schedule. Four day weekend every weekend! Jug helped me pick my classes.”

This is now the second time Betty's made mention of Jughead's financial situation without specifying exactly what it is. I have my reasons. A lot is revealed about Jughead, and what she knows about Jughead, in the third chapter.

Jellybean's college is Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. It's often referred to as Miami of Ohio. It's about 40 miles from the Cincinnati airport. The reason I know anything about this school is because I'm hockey obsessed and I know they have an NCAA Division I men's hockey team. I hear the name, Miami of Ohio, a lot in June around NHL draft time. Notable NHL alumni: Dan Boyle, Alec Martinez, Reilly Smith, Tommy Wingels.

So yeah, I figured why not put that useless knowledge to use.

> Funny, by looking at him, I hadn’t thought he was disheveled or unnerved in any way from the trip. But she was right. I did know Jughead very well from over the years. I knew he hadn’t even been on a plane until after his sophomore year of college, when he’d had a six-week summer internship in California. I knew he had a fear of heights. One time, the same year he met Chic, he’d climbed to the top of the monkey bars on an empty playground and sat there reading for hours. At first it was because it was the only quiet spot he could find, but in the end, he stayed up there because he was scared once he saw the distance to the ground. The only exception to his fear had been his boyhood tree house; solid wood and made just for him, a fortress fit for a prince with a crowned hat on his head.

This is just like the financial situation. There's a reason I introduced this fact about Jughead here. It will matter later on in the story. Can I just go ahead and say there's always a reason for the content I put into the story? I don't believe in filler so if I put something in there, it has a purpose.

> Fred owned a construction company and Jughead’s dad, FP, worked with him when we were all younger. Fred and FP had been friends and, as luck would have it, their sons became friends. I remembered seeing Archie hanging around with Jughead when he came to visit Fred. Their friendship was different than the infamous Cooper and Jones duo, and not just because Jughead was a few years older. The camaraderie was more in the vein of brotherhood than close friendship. Cooper and Jones were best friends, yin and yang, light and dark, but never the same. The Andrews had always treated Jughead like an extension of their family.

There's a distinction between brothers and friends. Brothers can be friends. Friends can be brothers. Friends can become brothers. But they aren't the same thing.

> Archie had preceded all of us in Chicago, even me, the early adopter. I’d run into him around town a few times over the years, but it was a big enough city that our paths rarely crossed. I’d never gotten to know him in Riverdale since he was so young when he moved away, and even when he would visit, I only knew of him because of Jughead. When we crossed paths in Chicago it was always a casual hello but nothing like friends catching up. So we didn’t really know anything about each other’s current lives.

In 1x02, there's a scene where Archie walks Veronica home and tells her about his friendship with Betty from age 4. I think it's very telling as to why in the pilot episode Betty felt she was in love with Archie. And I was thinking that if that held true in this story, if Archie had been there all along, it would still be him that she thought she had a crush on when she left Riverdale for ballet. So the necessary change, for the premise of her crushing on Chic's best friend, Jughead, was to take Archie out of the equation in the elementary years. It's from canon that we know Mary Andrews lives in Chicago, so if Archie was a little kid when the Andrews had their marital troubles, and if Mary and Fred had gotten divorced when he was at that age, then yeah, I think he would have stayed and grown up in Chicago.

By taking Archie out of the equation when they're children, it means Betty wouldn't have made an effort to stay friends with him and in fact, she probably couldn't have. I don't think many kids aged 4-6 have long distance friendships to the point where they'd consider that person their best friend (not trying to make a blanket statement, of course, if you know a 4-year-old with a very meaningful long distance friendship, that's fantastic). I think it makes sense for Archie to still have been Jughead's friend, because of Fred and FP when he visited Fred.

In the notes for the prologue I mentioned that Archie would have an important role in this story. The kind of role he plays will be revealed in the next chapter. This unfamiliarity Betty and Archie have with each other has significance to his role.

> But I didn’t correct Jughead this time. I was more distracted by his implication that Archie might want to hit on me. It wasn’t often he did it, since I hesitated to be around him, but it always bummed me out when Jughead went into protective older brother mode for me, like Jellybean and I were the same to him. The thought of him using some machismo I swear to God, I’ll end you defense of my honor only appealed to me in the context of jealousy. Except Jughead didn’t have machismo tendencies. He certainly wasn’t jealous of anyone hitting on me, either. And I didn’t care about his friends hitting on me. I wanted him to hit on me.

I don't really know how this happened but I was thinking about parallels between Jughead and Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (the show, not the movie), because there are some. My favorite episode of FNL is 2x10, "There Goes The Neighborhood", because Tim's heart always seems to be in the right place, the execution just seems to always goes awry for him.

So I watched that episode again for a chunk of my editing and it just made me want to make reference to it in this chapter somehow. "I swear to God, I'll end you" is what Tim says to the kid trying to score with Julie at the party they go to. Here's a gifset of the scene. And here's the specific frame:

> Back in July, at the Cooper barbeque on Independence Day, Jughead confirmed he would be starting his Writing MFA program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago in the fall. Chic had told me about Jughead’s acceptance to SAIC last spring, and that he’d paid the deposit to hold his spot, but it didn’t really, truly settle with me that he’d be invading our lives until they were talking about scouting out places for him to live and the ins and outs of the Chicago Transit Authority as they ate their grilled hot dogs.

And now we know what school Jughead is going to. FYI, SAIC is in no way affiliated with the for-profit colleges called The Art Institutes. SAIC is a legit private art school associated with The Art Institute of Chicago, which is a museum, not a for-profit college. An art school with an MFA in Writing. So Jughead is technically going to art grad school? HA.

(Again, I didn't just pull this out of a hat. I chose this for him for a reason to be revealed later.)

I said I wasn't going to jump the gun and answer unanswered questions because the first chapter would take care of it. Um. Have I actually just sprinkled more questions into the mix? Oops.

Maybe it's because I know this story so well, but I feel like things need to be revealed and questions about the characters need to be answered at certain, specific points in the story (isn't that what's supposed to happen in a good story in general?) (not that I'm saying this is a good story). So I'll just stay tight-lipped. All in good time.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 12x15 “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell”

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. including (but not limited to) smart!Dean, headcanons about demon reproduction, Destiel, children wishing death on an enemy, Sam’s pink eyeshadow, fandom theory, politics, bears, and the pronunciation of Cas’ name

05:15

i’m sort of pre-offended by this because cas wasn’t in the promo

why would you put dean in glasses if cas isn’t there to appreciate it huh???

(that said, davy perez wrote “stuck in the middle (with you)” so he clearly gets it)

-

05:20

this bear video reminds me of that girl screaming at the bear who’s eating her kayak 

“BEEEAAAARRRRR”

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0)

wow ignore the youtube comments. much salt very negative

i thought the whole thing was hilarious

-

05:24

“will you marry me”

shoot this can only end horribly

-

05:27

“first of all it’s weird you know how much underwear i’ve packed”

this script tho

-

05:27

“inside out”

bruh that’s not gonna fucking help

-

05:28

MISHA COLLINS IN THE CREDITS AT THE BOTTOM MY EXCITEMENT JUST WENT FROM A 5 TO A 10

EEEEEE

-

05:29

can someone tell me why the winchesters are referring to the bmol as hobbits

sam’s got mike down as “frodo”

i guess it’s to do with the accents. idk i always thought of middle earth as a new zealand thing rather than “an actor from britain” thing

-

05:32

sam: “the computer told me”

dean understands the fucking computers okay, don’t give me this “simplify it for lil deanie weenie” shit, you motherfuckers

who built an EMF meter out of an old walkman in season 1, huh

who fixes his car and, i assume, fixes the wiring too, huh

who uses the internet to find porn and probably download a lot illegally and therefore needs to know how computers work, huh

who has evaded law enforcement while using their software to find cases, huh

whO HAD A BEST FRIEND NAMED CHARLIE BRADBURY WHO KNEW HOW COMPUTERS WORKED, HUH

TELL ME SHE DIDN’T TALK ABOUT COMPUTERS AND GEEKY SHIT NON-STOP AND DEAN WAS ABLE TO KEEP UP

HUH

HUH

CASH ME OUSSIDE HOWBOW DAH

seriously i’mma fucking fight you if you say dean doesn’t understand how a computer program could send cases to his phone

-

05:34

sam’s still wearing pink eyeshadow

headcanon: it’s a fasHION CHOICE QUIT JUDGING ME DEAN MEN CAN WEAR MAKEUP IF THEY WANT

-

05:35

i love that dean went straight from “baby wipes in the car” to “i’m using the fancy shampoo”

wow when this asshole decides to delve into self-care he goes all the fucking way

sidenote: then a zoom in on john’s baseball bat, ie. symbol of BRUTAL MASCULINITY which dean left behind to use the fancy shampoo

-

05:38

OH MY GOD IS SAM TALKING TO MARY WHILE DEAN TALKS TO CAS

IDK WHY BUT THAT’S REALLY CUTE

for a second i forgot dean and cas aren’t actually married BUT THEY TOTALLY ARE

-

05:40

I’mma cry cas still puts the fbi badge upside down

oh god i fucking love him so much

i don’t understand why anyone would dislike him

i really, truly don’t

he is the purest more wholesome character and I’M LITERALLY VIBRATING RIGHT NOW I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM

I’VE MISSED HIM

OH GOD IF I’M THIS DELIGHTED TO SEE HIM I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT DEAN FEELS WHEN HE SEES HIM

honestly if i told dean right now how happy i am to see cas, would he roll his eyes, or would he duck his head and smile ?

...option one? probably. option two: that’s jensen about misha

-

05:44

“agent solange”

OKAY THERE IS ONLY ONE OPTION HERE AND THAT IS THAT CAS IS A HUGE APPRECIATOR OF BLACK CULTURE AND MUSIC AND/OR THE KNOWLES FAMILY

I’M SO PROUD OF HIM

-

05:46

see this?

he-heyyyy!! herb nelson who runs this joint

the deadly duo need to fucking pay attention, this is how you get a random side character to be interesting and not just rattle off boring by-the-book introductions

-

05:48

THE QUEEN’S HEAD ON AN ALIEN

I FEEL LIKE THIS ROOM WAS DECORATED TO MAKE MISHA BREAK CHARACTER AND LAUGH

I ALSO SEE “LIZARD PEOPLE” AND ILLUMINATI TRIANGLES

-

05:51

herb: “most sheeple can’t handle the truth”

me at age 12

-

herb: “i’m woke”

i’m ENJOYING THIS SO MUCH

herb: “palm pilot, more like a tracking device”

and this was written before all the stuff about samsung tvs recently. that kind of shit never stops and it’s been going for forever. what is it about people and wanting to spy on other people

i just googled “samsung” and apparently the south korean president was just removed in correlation, one hour ago (disclaimer: i only read the headline, i’ll read the rest later)

oh boy, what a time to be alive (/sarcasm)

(but actually tho. something big happens in south korea and we know about it by typing a single word, that’s cool)

-

05:57

cas just taking things and walking away

imagine him shoplifting in plain sight and security just being like “???”

-

05:58

dean’s undercut seems fresh

i wonder if he shaves the back of his head himself or he goes to a barber every few weeks or if sam does it

-

06:00

“much handsomer brother”

at least we can say that, for all dean’s insecurities, at least he knows he’s hot as shit

(but also that could easily be overcompensation, and he thinks sam is more attractive. oh god what a mess he is)

-

06:02

if i were gwen and two giant dudes came to the door i’d probably ask for them to stick around while i wait for someone else to COME TO MY FUCKING RESCUE

jeez who lets two men into their house just because they have badges and well-balanced faces

-

06:04

yeah you go gwen!!!

don’t need nobody telling you bullshit

-

06:06

this scene of dean saving gwen from the hellhound seems reminiscent of that time he got torn to shreds by hellhounds

the room setup seemed similar at least

i wonder if that makes her a dean parallel character, or if it’s meant to remind the audience of dean’s history with hellhounds

-

06:09

lucifer to crowley: “hm. kinky.”

this show does this amazing thing where it gets as close as fucking possible to being the gayest thing on earth with every character being canonically and violently queer without actually being gay or queer or canon or count as representation at all

i don’t think queerbaiting has ever, ever been done to this level in history

sometimes i wonder what all the heterostraight dudebros (TM) think when they see this kinda stuff

i personally know a giant black dude in his late 30s who watches this show and 100% of ALL of this stuff goes right over his head. he watches for the brothers fighting monsters, and doesn’t understand cas. his wife Gets It and she’s a feminist who Cares About Things, and even though she doesn’t analyse the show, she understands why i ship destiel and feel the need to write novels about their relationship

my only other experience meeting heterostraight dudebros in my life (holy shit how lucky am i) was at a convention a few years back, kim rhodes was up on stage and there were these two sweaty, snotty dicks in front of me, buttcracks showing, booing every time anyone dared to mention female characters or cas or destiel. like i’m p sure they were just there because kim rhodes is hot and has boobs and talked about guns one time (i mean, not that that isn’t a valid reason to watch the show or enjoy it.)

but i found it interesting to see the difference between them (the minority) and the rest of the people in the room (flamboyantly queer mostly-women with hearts full of love for cas)

(on that note, why does cas seem to be the dividing entity between pure wholesome fans and the aggressive hate-speech kind of fans? is there some kind of thing about cas that makes you love him if you have a good heart or something idk)

(although that’s not strictly true because kim rhodes said jody would use cas as a human shield because he’s sorta useless, and kim was still one of the coolest and kindest people i’ve ever met)

-

06:29

i love the thought of fetus gwen wanting a) a hello kitty backpack, or b) the death of an enemy

...........i was joking but typing this immediately makes me think of that time i was like 7 or 8 or 9 years old and took extracurricular maths at a lady’s house after school, and she was nice, and she gave us juice and biscuits. except i hated the fact i had to do EXTRA MATHS so, so SO MUCH that i used to wish she’d drop dead and i wouldn’t have to do it any more.

and then she died of cancer. and her kids (my age) were left motherless and i’ve never really gotten over that

i try and remind myself that death doesn’t work like that but how the fuck /?? why

i really hope i don’t have death note psychic powers

but after that experience i’ve never once wished anything bad on anyone. if i do by accident i immediately un-wish it just in case. come to think of it, i think that experience alone turned me into a more tolerant, empathetic person

rather than wish bad things on bad people, i wish that they learn how to understand the people they’re hurting and work to reconcile their wrongdoings

but dear god i still feel bad

(edit: not that i’m saying my maths tutor was a bad person, i’m talking about like... nazis. punching nazis is still a means to an end though)

-

06:39

quietly wondering if dean ever wanted a hello kitty backpack

OH NO

TINY FETUS DEAN LOOKING AT NICE PRETTY THINGS AND JUST KNOWING HE CAN’T HAVE THEM SO NOT EVEN TRYING TO HOPE

wow it’s way too easy for me to hurt my own feelings

(see also: Raising Hell in a Hotel)

-

06:42

regarding the theft of demon babies

given we’ve never heard about demons breeding (as far as i know), i’ve long held this headcanon/theory that demons (who were originally angels, corrupted by torture) bred by sealing deals. that’s their motivation for making demon deals: they make a deal, they collect a soul at the end of 10 years, take it to hell, make it torture other souls, and eventually a new demon is sired/born. and the new demon is the sire demon’s baby, in a way. they make deals as a form of reproduction.

which doesn’t fit with the idea that demons have actual small crying babies

so... i guess those would be made if two possessed people copulated? but if angel babies are a huge deal in this universe, wouldn’t demon babies be some other bizarre plot twist? or is this demon baby stealing thing meant to be a throwaway line????

someone explain me a thing

-

06:48

OKAY SCRATCH THAT THE BABIES ARE FOR EATING

all right we’re all good

i still think demons breed by making deals

..........but actually though, what happens if two possessed people made a baby (not that i want to know in canon, because consent issues)

also where the fuck are demons getting babies to eat

is there a black market baby eating demon ring

is this a common occurrence

did a dingo eat her baby or was it demon interference

are there legends or competitions about the most daring baby thefts

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

-

06:54

dean either likes posies or koalas

or both

someone please make cute fanart of dean happily cuddling a koala, lying down in a field of pink/bisexual-flag-coloured posies

please

i need it

because of reasons

-

07:00

i like how it’s the white demon who’s grovelling and the black demon’s just chill and talking to lucifer like an equal

that’s cool

-

07:02

dean’s gentle “take care of her”

IT’S OKAY SAM I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT GWEN TOO

sometimes i forget dean’s an asshole who cares more about his car than anything else

-

07:03

i still want that episode, where the impala is either a beautiful badass 45-year-old black woman with tattoos and scars, or a foxy grey-haired dude, either of whom could seduce dean in 0.3 seconds

-

07:06

mmmmmmmmmmmm i loooove how this angel says cas’ name

“kas’tyl”

mmmmmmmmm say it again

i love how everyone always says it differently but it’s always beautiful

(my own name has been pronounced 300 different ways and it always sounds like me somehow, and i’ll still respond. everything from “al-may-oze” to “ee-lumz” to “el muss”. my nickname Elmie is a derivative of Almaas because of mispronunciation followed by an autocorrect error and i love it anyway)

-

07:11

kelvin: “all the paaw’r of heav’n behand you”

dear god i love how this angel talks ;A; i’m swooning

-

07:13

kelvin: “don’t get me wrong, i love earth, it’s quirky. it smells like hay. but it’s not home, is it?”

OOOH BOY MORE CAS CHOOSING HIS HOME ARC

YEAH GIVE ME SOME OF THIS

but please let him choose dean

(or don’t, and watch dean die inside some more. that’d be fun) (/sarcasm)

-

07:19

JOSHUA

FOR YEARS I’VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT HIM

ALL HAIL DAVY PEREZ FOR INCLUDING SO MANY ACTORS/CHARACTERS OF COLOUR

I’M SO RELIEVED SOMEONE ON THE WRITING TEAM HAS THEIR HEAD SCREWED ON RIGHT

-

07:22

cas is so beautiful ;~;

-

07:23

white demon: “only thing i care about is Making Hell Great Again”

i think it’s fair to say that anything akin to those words in that order inspire a fireball of R A G E inside me

-

07:25

fuck

i saw it coming

is anyone making a death toll for characters of colour this season

of all the things i’m enjoying from this episode, the aspect of “as soon as a black dude sees a white dude as an equal and wants something in return for his services to their shared society, he deserves punishment” is not one of them

not cool

i mean the white dude dies too, which turns it into a political “trump fucks with minorities first and the white people are next and somehow they think they’re being blessed” but STILL

i guess the fact there’s other surviving characters of colour this episode makes it less shitty

-

07:28

DEAN IN GLASSES

i’m still salty but AAHHH

-

07:33

eyyyyyyy dean said thanks to crowley for saving cas

good

-

07:33

crowley: “maybe i’ve rubbed off all over you”

aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back to the gay

mm

i hope people never forget that they canonically banged, as problematic that relationship is/was

-

07:35

they. look. so. damn. good. in. glasses.

-

07:36

dean looks like he either belongs in the x files or scooby doo

-

07:38

oooo the carrrrrrrrrrrr

dean’s gonna be pissed

-

07:43

oh shit the music changed very very subtly as lucifer hits crowley’s face

i suddenly get the feeling crowley’s gonna die

he just got his redemption and NOW HE’S GONNA DIE ISN’T HE

I HATED HIM BUT

LIKE

NOW I DON’T WANT HIM TO DIE

-

07:45

oh good

okay

man that was a weird emotion

now i’m back to hating crowley again

i guess it’s fun to hate the baddies

-

07:47

it’s really nice to have a phone call between dean and cas but see both of them

weird how rare that is

-

07:48

DEAN BEING ABLE TO JUDGE CAS’ EMOTIONS THROUGH HIS VOICE AND THEN GETTING WORRIED

-

07:49

sam: “no... it’s.. uh.... mick davies”

oh so THAT’S why gwen told sam her story about lying to her boyfriend. i was thinking it was odd sam was the one hearing that, since dean usually gets an earful of people’s sob stories that Mean Things In His Own Life

so her story made sam tell dean the truth

gwen did so much this episode!!! affecting the season-long plot and saving herself and shit!!! yee

-

07:51

THIS PINK EYESHADOW THOUGH

-

07:56

wow that was a lot of stuff for one episode

good!!!! very good

9.5/10, could be improved by a bechdel test pass

i don’t really have much to add, since i said it all while watching, which is why this took me nearly 3 hours to watch (over 3 hours to finish this post)

but yep. good solid episode, i wish more were like this

so damn good to see cas!!! but the fact he still doesn’t feel like he has a home makes me sad

DEAN AND SAM REALLY NEED TO INCLUDE HIM IN MORE THINGS AND SMOTHER HIM IN HUGS AND GIVE HIM GIFTS AND STUFF

i think it’s because he’s still riding the border between brother and not-brother and doesn’t really know where he stands

poor baby

dean, you gotta cowboy up and tell your angel you love him back already

aaaah

also shoutout to director nina lopez-corrado for that super neat shot of the hellhound, seen through the glasses on the ground