#honorable mention: rhonda

[angelsdean]

sorry i think it's fun to "pair the spares" of dean's exes / potential love interests:

jocassie

bennycrowley

OR crowleyketch (hatefucking)

victorbela

lisalee (mostly for the fun alliteration but also. lisa has a Type)

and anna doesn't get an ex but she does get to fuck his mom!

[simplydannie]

Inspired by and written for @gabykatttt! You know I had to add a little drama to it lol

Brozone is invited back to Mount Rageous as special guests for a singing competition where they will each mentor a young contestant.

Only thing they didn’t know: Floyd’s apprentice is someone they didn’t expect… and definitely don’t approve of.

●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

“Alright so let’s see here! My lovely Rageon is a boy named Taize, interesting!” John Dory flipped through the file,”Seems like the kid has spunk!” He handed his brothers their files. Brozone sat inside Rhonda on another trip to Mount Rageous, except this time, it was on better terms. Since the events that took place a year ago, Mount Rageous had invited Brozone back to take part of a singing competition and be the guest of honor. Each member would mentor a Rageon who’d be participating.

“Not to brag, but I think my boys got this.” He exclaimed.

Bruce open up his file, “Seems like me and Clay are assigned to two sisters.”

Clay took the file from his brother’s hand, “Glimmer and Gala. They have been doing singing competitions since they were four and winning almost every single one.”

“Sorry, JD, I think me and Clay have this one.” Bruce smirked.

Poppy popped in, a range of emotions whirling through her tiny body, “I can believe this! Brozone is officially back! Not to mention bringing in the next wave of musical talent! Even if they aren’t Troll of course.”

“But this is an opportunity! First Rageous, then the rest of the Troll kingdom!” JD announced, “Not to mention that Rageous officially extended the invitation to ALL Trolls and Bergens alike.”

“Whoa! So, this could really be big for us?” Clay responded glancing at all his brothers.

“Time for Brozone to get back on the map!” Bruce pumped, “Oh! Floyd? We didn’t even get to hear who you and Branches Rageon is.”

Floyd fiddled with the small file in his hands. He already knew who he had gotten to mentor, he wasn’t sure Branch would be okay with it though.

“You sure you don’t want to mentor your own kid, Branch?” Floyd asked again.

“Nope. I really would like to do this one with you Floyd. The two youngest, kicking big brother butt.” Branch crossed his arms and stared smuggly at his older brothers.

“Well good luck with that.” Clay stuck out his tongue earning a laugh from Branch. He turned back to look at Floyd.

“So? Who’s the kid?” Branch asked. Floyd let out a heavy sigh. “Oh come on Floyd. It can’t be that bad can it?” Branch took the file into his own hands.

“Alright let’s see here.” He skimmed the paperwork. “Our kiddo is……Veneer Vincent Montegue.” Branches eyes widened. He looked at Floyd who now had a sheepish smile on his face. “Veneer. As in Velvet and Veneer? You’re not serious Floyd!” The rest of the brothers, including Poppy, gathered around Branch.

“He’s not kidding.” Bruce mumbled.

“This has to be a mistake!” Clay exclaimed.

“Or a trap set up by them again. We can talk to the officials when we get there. We’ll…” JD began.

Floyd interrupted, “No! No, this…This isn’t a mistake. I’m….I requested it.

“WHAT!” Everyone echoed. Was Floyd crazy? Why on Earth would he want to mentor someone who nearly killed him?

“Floyd, the kid doesn’t have talent. That’s why he was using you!” Branch exclaimed.

Floyd scoffed at his remark, “Everyone has talent. It’s in there. And Veneer definitely has it. He just got the wrong inspiration.”

“No way! As the oldest I am not allowing this. His sister is obviously planning something. Veneer has the look of innocence but he’s not.” JD remarked.

“Velvets out of the picture… at least for now.” Floyd stated.

Poppy arched an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“When their sentence was up, she booked it. Sending tell him anything. Veneer was left completely alone. Other then her he has no family. So… he reached out to me.” Floyd said.

“What!? Like, he mailed to you? And you responded back?” Branch tossed the files on the couch. “And you didn’t think about asking US if we were okay with it?” He was fuming. How could his brother be so naive, so forgiving?

“I have to agree on Branch with this one Floyd, I know you feel for Veneer. Maybe he can be a good kid, but we’re not risking it.” Bruce added.

“Guys please. Listen I knew them before they did what they did. They were misguided, lost. They’re good kids I swear. Look I know what it’s like to walk on you sinking,” He looked at Branch. “I want to do right, I want to show Veneer what true family is about, what it’s liking to live in harmony with your siblings. Let’s do that guys.” Floyd looked back and forth between all his brothers, but he saw the stubbornness in all their eyes… they had made up their mind.

“You….you knew them before their little fame thing?” Poppy asked, earning a nod from the little Troll. “Guys maybe you should trust him. I… I think it’s worth a shot.”

“You can’t be serious Poppy!” Branch exclaimed.

“I’m sure they’ll keep a watchful eye on him. They wouldn’t let him participate in the first place if they didn’t have any protocols.” She added.

“No! I’m sorry Poppy, I know your queen, but I am the big brother. Sorry Floyd, but once we get there, you switch to someone else. End of discussion.” John Dory set his foot down.

Floyd sighed in defeat. He hunched over on the couch, looking at the file. Floyd didn’t bother telling them how excited Veneer had sounded when he mentioned the plan to get him back on his feet. He didn’t want to imagine the look on his face when he’d have to turn on him down. Floyd rode the rest of the trip in silence.

It was another hour until they finally saw the glistening lights shining from the mountain… they were back at Mount Rageous. This time they took the highway that lead them deeper in the glimmering city. They were finally able to see what it was all made of …. And it was stunning. Their buildings were made of gems and fine jewels the trolls have never even seen. Somehow they used these gems to power their technology. The deeper they traveled into Mount Rageous, the more adults they began to see. If they thought the teens were big, the adults were much taller. The Trolls also saw children and infants for the first time in the city.

“Alright, like, do all Rageons have to be good looking.” John Dory scoffed. All eyes turned to Rhonda as she went down the ride. Children giggled and starting chasing after her. Rhonda began getting carried away and playing with the children.

“Hey old girl! We have a destination. You can play later.” JD called out. Hesitantly, she continued down the road until she got to a beautiful park where a stunning stage was set up.

“Looks like this is it.” Clay exclaimed as Rhonda neared the entrance. She stopped, allowing Brozone and Poppy to hop off. It was intimidating at first, being surrounding by such tall beings, but the excitement of the Rageons upon laying eyes on the little Trolls allowed a calmness to overcome them.

“Oh my gosh your Brozone!”

“I loved your performance at the Rage Dome!”

“I’m so glad your brother is okay!”

“Can we have your autograph!”

Rageon upon Rageon came surrounding them. John Dory was overjoyed… finally he and his brothers were getting the recognition he’d dreamed of… not only to be known by the trolls, but world wide, every species chanting their name.

“One at a time guys! There’s plenty of Brozone to go around!” He exclaimed. All the brothers loved the attention, they loved giving autographs. Branch was one who was still getting used to it. If it weren’t for Poppy, he’d probably just shy away in the back. The only little Troll not participating was Floyd. He hung around near Rhonda. His eyes darted around looking for a Rageon with green swooped hair.

“Are you Bruce?” He looked up to see three Rageons staring down around him. Their look fit the description in the files: one boy, dark red skin with flaming orange hair styles in a faux hawk, and two girls, both similar in their blue tinted skin color, except one had peacock colored hair while the other aegean.

“Taize, Glimmer, and Gala I take it.” Floyd responded. The three young Rageons smiled.

“This is soooooo exciting!” Gala chimed.

“I bet. But I’m not Bruce. He’s brother over there. And that’s John Dory.” Floyd pointed out. “I’m Floyd.”

The Rageons gaped, “You were the little guy Velvet and Veneer troll-napped!” Glimmer gasped.

“Hopefully they’re still rotting in jail.” Taize added.

“Y-yeah.” Floyd stammered. Behind him he could hear his brothers approach them.

“Taize I assume! The names John Dory! I’ll be your mentor.”

“And I’m Clay, this is Bruce, were are both you’re lovely ladies mentors.”

Everyone turned to look at Floyd and Branch, “And we will be right back, we just need to have a word with the officials!” Branch pushed Floyd along to the main tables.

“Branch, I’m asking one more time: Please don’t do this? We can do really good by Veneer here. If you get to know him Branch, he reminds so much of you.”

“Whoa, whoa, don’t even compare me to him. I don’t go around stealing peoples talent.”

“But Branch…”

“No Floyd! I don’t normally agree with John, but on this one he has my vote. Veneer can cry me a river for all I care.” Branch scoffed.

“Floyd?” A familiar voice sounded from behind them. The two Trolls turned around slowly. Behind them stood a pale Rageon with bright green hair covered in a purple beanie. He wore a golden oversized hoodie over black skinny jeans and purple sneakers: Veneer. He smiled down at the Trolls….but they were speechless. It wasn’t seeing him in casual Rageon attire that threw them off….it was the tube connected to his nose, trailing behind him into a backpack. Branch pulled Floyd aside, whispering to where only he could hear.

“What’s wrong with him?” He demanded.

Floyd shurgged, staring wide eyes up at Veneer, “I….I don’t know.” The Rageon didn’t notice their surprised faces as he smiled at them.

“So, I guess, you two are my mentors.” He chimed. Floyd and Branch didn’t respond. For one, they didn’t expect to find Veneer in this state. But no, they couldn’t mentor him, wouldn’t mentor him, he didn’t deserve it….did he?

“Umm…Veneer…there’s something we have to tell you…I’m sorry….” Floyd began. It pained him to do so, to turn away someone who had reached out to him for help… but this was the first time his brothers really agreed on something. If he had to choose between the kid or his brothers, well, it was a no brainer…right?

[piperslovebot]

top that 70's shows ships? <333

ilyilyily <3

1. Jackie/Hyde (despite not being my #1 fave characters, they are my favorite couple)

2. Eric/Donna (always)

3. Kelso/Brooke

4. Kelso/Fez

5. Red/Kitty (I may hate Kitty atm, but her dynamic with Red is magical)

Honorable mentions: Fez/Rhonda (before Fez groped her), Fez/Caroline (before Fez became a dick), Jackie/Donna, Eric/Buddy, Eric/Mitch, Fez/Hyde (before Fez became a gross fucking perverted dickhead), and many more

[knowledgeoverknives]

Books I recommend for loved ones in jail or just want some extra knowledge.

Also some of these books have audio versions on YouTube for the many neurodivergent people like me who have the attention of a toddler 😁

The Secret by Rhonda Bryne - a very famous book on manifesting (NO IT ISN’T DEMONIC - we’ll touch on that later) creating your own reality, taking control of your life and circumstances - it’s just such a well rounded book, very motivational. -Audio Book Link-

Use Your Head by Tony Buzan - This is an honorable mention for anyone in jail or needs a boost in skills this book is AMAZING. It teaches you how to improve your memory, read faster, concentrate better and so much more. He has so many books, I’ll be honest though after a while the books do become repetitive - so to start I’d recommend the one mention or for a shorter version.. ‘Buzans Study Skills’ which is much shorter but still informative.

-Audio version kinda - it’s a very old video of him describing all the things he teaches in the book from a scientific approach-

Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Another one for a loved one in jail. It’s very interesting, captivating just an overall good read and has a whole book series which is better than the movie! This is sure to keep someone entertained..

Some other Audio books about changing your mindset, manifesting and basically changing your whole life 💗

[jerichomere]

MBS EPISODE EIGHHHHT

weak. I hate to say it but I could feel it in my heart from the start. It had good moments but this episode just didn’t bring it home. I’m going to break this up into my usual notes and then some general evaluation. Notes: What is the deal with curtain and food? He has so many weird scenes with meals.. there’s probably some hidden meaning here but I don’t know what it is And they didn’t get to chuck-root the school :((((( Constance? Wants to pour acid on curtain’s feet Haha I liked Kate’s little “Nyoope” when the recruiters found her Martina redemption and the fighting tetherball team, sure Jackson and Jillson get even more unhinged. they terrify me We got Kate yeeting Constance up the tower, but her bucket had a built in rope motor somehow WE GOT KATIE-KAT but we didn’t get Sorry it took me so long And Milligan’s still moody instead of joyous Go Constance, break the thing, yay Number Two and Rhonda had some real shippy energy in this episode and PLEASE they are SISTERS Two more close profile shots of curtain in this episode, one where he is physically shorter than Milligan but dominating the interaction, and one where he’s physically looking down at Reynie but Reynie’s getting to him. Reynie has a heart to heart and curtain passes out. That’s different. Sticky even said, “it’s anger” and he was like “no, it’s vulnerability” oooooookay then. The whisperer is not an intercom/loudspeaker. sheesh. So the kiddos leave and the twins talk, resolving nothing, then curtain escapes REYNIE AND MISS PERUMAL NO COMPLAINTS HERE *sobs* Kate and Madge at the end <3 Constance refuses adoption!?!?!?!??! And no age reveal obviously rip Sticky’s family redemption he’s going to the totally not made up Boatwright Academy now Mr Benedict is like, I love you all, no snowball fight, the end. SIKE Curtain, SQ, and a totally real engineer lady are on a BOAT. You know, I felt bad for the engineer this whole series, as she is portrayed as kind of doing the technical work hoping it’ll be used for good, while curtain abuses its practical application, but her mood really shifted in that last scene. She was like heheh hey guy that I know is definitely is evil, howabout this mysterious blueprint... are they really trying to set up the sequel. Some tree branches will have to get pretttty bent.

Evaluation: keep reading! (sorry it gets long)

To recap what I’ve said from the start, I think the casting is fantastic but the tone is wrong. The darker, more saturated filter, the isolating camera shots, and very understated music make things colder and stilted. This is a constant throughout the whole series. The book was warm, messy, and full of charm, which I didn’t feel watching the show.

characters were.. compromised? Mr B starts off with a LIE about test winners going to Boatwright Academy. That undermines EVERYTHING he does from then on. “Regrettable but necessary” DOESN’T cut it. He’s also just so anxious and jittery instead of his gentile, kind, strong book self. Just from the show, they didn’t frame his genius very well. He seems more like a fool. Not really confidence-inspiring. In the same way, Being directed to cheat is one thing, but Reynie should NOT have lied to SQ to manipulate him into seeing the forest or whatever. Yeah reynie felt bad about it and SQ called him on it, but this is like the core values of our protagonist team, the strong love for truth. Also, I feel like in the show Reynie’s leadership isn’t highlighted. Like, everyone else has their thing but you almost wonder why he’s framed as the main character. The girls got bonding and the boys got bonding but there was hardly opportunity for him to really bring the team together into a cohesive unit Also, as much as I love Number Two’s life of crime (because it’s funny), she too should have that love of truth, but instead regularly does unlawful things. AND they never explained her eating, and even stopped having yellow clothes :( Additionally, the side story of her and Rhonda’s friction (entertaining I suppose) also really changed the character dynamic. In the book, the adult team was unwavering and wise, a sturdy basis for the perilous missions of the children. But their internal strife, while adding drama, makes them seem unreliable and less absolutely good and trustworthy. And I think trust and integrity are key parts of the book’s solid narrative. Constance’s refusal of the adoption felt wrong too. She was like, “Respectfully decline, but. I’ll stick around here.” I think they were trying to keep going with her contrariness, but it just comes across as foolish pride? Constance is a LITTLE GIRL. She DESERVES a FAMILY. SHE DESERVES A LOVING PARENT (and two wonderful sisters). Yeah family doesn’t have to be by blood OR lawful paperwork, but her actions in this scene really just. cuts off the feels at the knees. We KNOW she’s strong and independent but that doesn’t mean she HAS TO BE or even necessarily WANTS to be all the time. Over the course of the series we see her warming up to people, a kind word here, a little smile there, but this adoption refusal is.. harsh. Then we’ve got Sticky. Yes, he struggles with the comfort of the whisperer. And he overcomes it. BUT in one of the earlier episodes, they had him fighting with the team, defending the whisperer, dismissing his friends... and I count this as betrayal. It may be extreme on my part, but I think he went too far. The Society is the Society. In the book he bested his fears for them and with their support. Yeah he desperately wanted to just give in but he had PRINCIPLES and knew why he couldn’t. His honor, his responsibility to stop curtain, and his loyalty to his friends got him though. But in the show he just dumped them. And then was like, oh oops jk I’m back. (I knowwwwww the book has the privilege of being able to explain characters’ thought processes and emotional states, while shows have to work with more tangible actions and words but stilll I did not Like That) And finally, curtain wasn’t smart. He had hired people doing all the work. He just used it to his ends. Less evil genius and more manipulating creep. But this? I’m more ok with. As an villain, he got the job done. But this makes him less of a foil for Mr Benedict and more of an antagonist, if that makes sense. In the book they never knew each other, but were both alone in the world and greatly smart, and they chose verrry different paths. Whereas in the show he and B were always kind of opposites, warring in motivation and method from the start.

Let’s talk about the boss battle (such as it was). I said it was weak and I meant it. The book is heart pounding. There is so much going on, and so many people in play, the narration jumping all over the place in real time, all culminating in that clash at the top of the tower. Now, the show... the highs weren’t the highs. It felt more like checking off story points. Kate and constance outside - check. Resist the whisperer to stall for time - check. Milligan reveal - check. Reynie starting to figure out narcolepsy triggers - check. Constance shouting then you are the greatest fool of all - um, no, that didn’t happen. Constance defeating the whisperer - check. Curtain escapes - check. We got zero action. No good fights. I know Emmy Deoliveira is a kid and I’m not mad at her for not being able to do action sequences or run with Constance piggyback. But there was almost no physical conflict on-screen, and that’s Kate’s real time to shine. Also they had Number two and Rhonda in the tower ready to fight and then they just didn’t. All this build up for nothing. Furthermore, and I think this is the biggest problem, there was no momentum. Yeah they cut from scene to scene, but the music and tone cut scene-to-scene too. So there was like, dramatic music, Kate’s ready to fight! Get hyped! and then cut to absolutely silent, mr curtain staring at someone. feel mildly disturbed. and then cut to Rhonda and Number two being friends and ready to fight! Aww! And yay! Get hyped! And then cut back to Sticky sitting in a chair, dead silent. It goes on like this. The music, the urgency, should have carried throughout, building in intensity and desperation as the kids come together and curtain unravels more and more and then BAM! curtain down and OH NO! the whisperer and finally Constance’s “I... DON”T.... CARE!!!” and then the madcap escape from the island. Watching, I just couldn’t get swept away. Storywise, they tied it all up and logically it made sense but the emotional culmination just wasn’t there. It was over and done too quick. It fell flat. I didn’t feel the struggle, the suspense. And then they gave us a fabricated Mr B and Curtain conversation that didn’t really help anything. And then the falling action had some nice moments but as I mentioned, the things with constance and sticky kind of made it feel less relieving, joyful, and sweet. I know a snowball fight is elaborate to set and film but I would have loved to see it.

Final thoughts I can’t help but love the kids. I’ll say it again, I sure liked this casting. And for all the changes they had to make, the original central plot was there, and most of the characters were recognizable even with all the alterations. So I did have problems with some of that underlying integrity, as well as the overall tone and execution, but I also laughed at the little funny things, jammed to the title theme, and was excited to see this, my favorite book in the world, get more recognition. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to adapt a work of prose into an audiovisual medium, and considering how outlandish the book sometimes got, they gave it their best shot. I didn’t love it but I can recognize the accomplishment. In terms of faithful and well-made adaptations, on a scale of Percy Jackson to Harry Potter, I’d give The Mysterious Benedict Society a 6.5/10.

[thestupidhelmet]

Hi! do you know why kelso wasn’t present in betsy’s birth? I think it would have been a very heartwarming and (with the others in the hospital too) funny situation rather than him waiting for a call

Because Shannon Elizabeth had left the show (or was let go as a recurring character; no idea which), and the writers wrote Kelso’s choices from the outside-in (i.e. whatever the plot and show logistics dictated needed to happen) instead of writing Kelso’s choices from the inside-out (i.e. allowing plot to arise naturally from what Kelso wants and would actually do because of it). Fathers were allowed in deliver rooms by the 1970s, and of course Kelso could have -- and would have -- been there.

But evidenced by how the show handled Kelso’s becoming-a-dad storyline in season 7, the writers seemed to want to brush it under the rug as if it weren’t a thing, except for a joke or mention here and there. Yes, we got one episode with Brooke and Betsy, but this is not how Kelso, Brooke, and Betsy’s story was supposed to go -- according to whom Kelso and Brooke are shown to be during the majority of season 6. We never got to see on-screen how Kelso’s life truly continued because of Shannon Elizabeth’s departure from the show.

Had Shannon Elizabeth not left, however, Kelso’s season-7 storyline would’ve been all about him learning to be a dad, and him dragging in his friends and the Formans into those lessons / story arcs in episodes. His relationship with Brooke would’ve continued to develop, too.

Then Angie’s story arcs would’ve been focused on her relationship with her newly discovered brother, not Kelso. Hyde’s stories would’ve concentrated on Angie and W.B. while Jackie supported him.

Jackie’s story, I hope, would’ve been about her graduating high school and preparing for college. No worries about Hyde’s commitment to her until she has to decide which college to go to. She’s afraid of losing Hyde if she goes too far away since he’s all set up in Point Place with Grooves. Hyde gives her the security of going to the college of her dreams, which -- let’s say -- is in California, by proposing to her.

Hyde would’ve worked out this choice not by getting wasted at a beer warehouse but by talking it out with Eric, Red, Kitty, W.B., and Angie. It would have been an Episode™. 

Red and Kitty should’ve been their S1-S4 in-love and hot-for-each-other selves. Red has his muffler shop. Kitty continues to be a nurse, and they could’ve had stories all their own, as well as the inevitable stories with the other characters.  

Ideally for Fez, would’ve gone to culinary school for a concentration in baking instead of the meh shenanigans at the hair salon. His parents sent him to America for a better education, and he was in honors classes during high school. He would have been far more ambitious and motivated not to waste the sacrifice his parents made by sending their son to another country.

Fez’s storyline could’ve dealt with getting into that culinary school and finding Rhonda there. She returned to Point Place without telling him, and she wants to become a baker, too. Through his interactions with her, Fez has a huge awakening about how selfish and boundary-invading-to-women he became (though, really, Fez never would’ve done what he does to Rhonda at the end of season 4).

Season 7 could’ve been fantastic if Shannon Elizabeth had stayed, Cynthia Lamontagne (Rhonda) had been brought back, and T7S had been given the budget for them and Megalyn Echikunwoke (Angie) and Tim Reid (W.B.). Brooke Shields left the show early in that season, so that freed up some cash.

But financial considerations aside, the writing would’ve had to be on point, allowing the stories to develop organically from the characters, not forced upon the characters who started to become unrecognizable as themselves because of it.

[josiebelladonna]

big four of thrash:

metallica

jane hetfield (full name: jane alana hetfield)

kira hammett

lara ulrich

chloe burton

jacey newsted

roberta trujillo

megadeth

davinia mustaine (full name: davinia skye mustaine)

davinia ellefson

martina friedman

nicole “nikki” menza

christina poland

ginny degrasso

anthrax

josie belladonna (full name: josephine antonina bellardini)

skye ivy rosenfeld

danielle “dani” spitz

francine “frankie” bella

charlcie benante (often stylized “charl-c”)

jane bush

janet donais

roberta caggiano

nelly turbin

slayer

toni araya (full name: tonia esmeralda araya)

kari king

greta holt

jen hanneman

davinia lombarda

honorable mentions:

alice skolnick

danielle lilker

charli billy 

bobbi blitz

lemina kilmister (courtesy of carla!)

brandy dickinson

oli osbourne oli oli oxen free

ronni jane dia

rhonda roads

petra steele

kelly hickey

big four out of seattle:

nirvana

kerry cobain

krista novoselic

davinia grohl

chalice channing

patricia smear

pearl jam

edwina vedder

sandy gossard

jen ament

mikayla mccready

davinia krusen (lots of davinias)

davinia abbruzzese

julie irons

soundgarden

christina cornell

kim thayil (...oh)

berta shepherd

molly cameron

himari yamamoto

skye sundquist

alice in chains

lana staley

judy cantrell

mikayla starr

shana kinney

mikayla inez

wilamina duvall

honorable mentions:

andi wood

teri doyle

mara arm

mara lanegan

berta macmillan

queen buzzy

delany crover

corey love

erica erlandson

[tcstu]

Ekphrastic Fiction Contest Winner (August 2020)

The winner for this month’s contest is.... Emily @emilyelizabethfowl​ ! Congratulations!!! Emily is an incredibly talented writer who previously won this contest twice in 2019. You can see those two entries here:

January 2019

June 2019

If you like Emily’s writing, make sure to check out their page here.

This month also had some pretty interesting pieces submitted, so please make sure to look for my Honorable Mentions post later today to see more unique interpretations of this piece!

As a reminder, the artistic piece for this month’s contest is titled, “G'Nar the Raven"  and was created by Nataly Lanier @nataly-lanier​. This character is actually part of a larger world called "The Lane of Vos” that was created by this artist. You can click here to learn more about this world, or click here to see more of Nataly Lanier’s original work.

  The Crows returned in a flurry of loose feathers and tightly wound rolls of paper, their wings beating in tempo with the clashes of armies outside the keep.

G’Nar gathered the rolls, kneeling to avoid the pain in his back. The constant ache was more annoying than he had ever expected it to be.

Of course, usually there was Alton around, but now-

”You taught us well, Master G’Nar.”

Ah, well. G’Nar straightened up with a sigh, missives safely tucked away. He still had his duties to fulfill, even in the midst of war.

Especially then, really.

The Crows showed no impatience, perched on the long stand; they were far too well taught for that. G’Nar filled their bowls with an assortment of dead mice, nuts and fruits. Only the best after their twenty long years of servitude.

“But we’re big birdies now.”

One, two, three, four, five-

Seven? Scrambling to put on his reading glasses, G’Nar head-counted them again.

Ryss, Ida, Cora, Kallia, Rhonda.

Owain. And… Lilly.

G’Nar touched her head with his trembling hand, half-convinced she was just a ghost coming back to haunt him.

“My sweet Lilly,” he sobbed out, “After all these years-!”

He couldn’t tear his eyes away, even as Owain preened pointedly, awaiting praise. No wonder he didn’t make it last month. The Ritual was done mere days after G’Nar had assumed him dead, and now he returned, having accomplished the impossible-!

If only G’Nar had waited…

“Ready to leave the nest.”

But how was he to know? There were five Crows left, and the baker’s dozen of teens had been more than ready to step in.

Centuries of careful experimentation, optimization, sacrifice, to ensure both the Crows and the Handler would be prepared for anything, ready to carry on the Order’s Mission, to keep peace across all the worldly kingdoms...

Years he had spent with these children.

Dozens of scrapes healed, hundreds of stories told, thousands of hugs exchanged… and yet, he had never seen it coming.

They had all been ready for the Ritual. All aware of their role in the Order, of the lifetime of spying they were willing to give, to keep balance in the world.

Or so he had thought.

“Ready to spread our wings.”

He had watched last month, full of pride, as they morphed within the Circle, faces extending into beaks, bones bending, black feathers covering their bodies, no complaint to be heard.

G’Nar had turned to Alton, to share this joy; To officially give the power to the new Handler, to the new generation.

The blood-thirsty smile had frozen him in place.

“Keeping balance sounds rather boring,” Alton had said then, the new Murder of Crows perching upon his shoulders, circling around his head. “We have something different planned for this world.You taught us well, Master G'Nar.”

Ever since, there was only chaos. War. Destruction. Everything in direct opposition to the mission of the Order of Crows.

“Although your teachings will no longer be required.”

[polkahotness]

SHORTAKI WEEK DAY 2

 FFN // AO3                        

                              Flinch

I'd never seen anybody go so hard on Arnold. And that's coming from someone who has literally bullied him since the dawn of time.

It all started when we decided to take the bus out of town to visit this record store that Arnold was dying to visit. It was new and located a couple of towns over—'The Record Skip.' It was a dumb name in my opinion and considering the size of the town it was located in, I didn't exactly anticipate business to be booming enough that it would stay open for much longer.

Thus, initiated our fun little trip.

Arnold was determined to get this one particular jazz album that he'd been hunting for online and at every thrift shop, music store, anywhere that you could possibly imagine. Personally, I thought it seemed like a lot of unnecessary work for a giant disc that was way larger than it needed to be when there are CDs or, dare I say it, streaming services that could play you the same music without lugging around ten pounds worth of equipment to do so.

But to Arnold, the records were just his… thing. Rhonda would call it an 'aesthetic' but in reality, he was just a big jazz nerd who liked the way that a record, "made the sounds of each instrument pop." He claimed that when listening to an old record on his fancy phonograph or whatever you call it, was like "being in the room of a jazz concert. You can feel the energy even if it was recorded years, decades ago."

Naturally, I laughed in his face, but I respect his love for the way the music feels and sounds. I remember when we first started dating our sophomore year, we would spend hours in his room with the lights down low as he played various vinyls while explaining the greats to me and the reasons why jazz music was his happy place.

Sometimes I think it's because it helps him stay close to his grandparents who, unfortunately, aren't around any longer to influence his eclectic tastes. Both Stella and Miles seem to understand why this mission of finding some specific LP was important, but me, his 17-year-old girlfriend who much preferred the music app on her phone, well I just couldn't quite wrap my head around the significance.

"So, how did you find this shop anyway?" I asked him as we jostled on the bus down the road towards the town I'd never heard of. "This city is like… the smallest dot on a map I've ever heard of."

"It isn't that small of a town, Helga," Arnold insisted before offering a small shrug of his shoulders. "I stopped here once one the way back from visiting Arnie a few years ago," he explained, and I rolled my eyes at the mention of his zany cousin.

"Right. Arnie. Talk about someone living in po-dunk nowhere," I commented, though Arnold didn't seem to react.

His attention was focused outside the glass of the window as he watched our bus slowly travel its way into the town Arnold was eager to visit. Once the sign for the town passed us by, I could feel Arnold's grip of my hand tighten slightly and I couldn't help but smile at the involuntary action.

He was excited.

That made me excited.

Even if it was just for some dumb record.

When the bus lurched forward at its stop, both Arnold and I stood up as he began rushing off down the aisle. He could hardly contain his excitement for the possibility of finding whatever long-awaited album he'd been searching for.

Me?

I was just interested in seeing what this album was in the first place.

Up until now, he had refused to tell me—said it was stupid and that I would laugh at him. While he wasn't exactly wrong because the chances of me laughing were pretty high, it didn't mean that I didn't care. I wanted him to be happy even if it was because of something that I found weird and dumb. My opinion didn't matter. This was his thing and as the loving, perfect, gorgeous, and incredibly supportive girlfriend that I had had the honor of being for nearly two years now, I was prepared to follow that footballhead into the depths of hell if it meant he'd wear that dopey grin of his for even one minute.

'The Record Skip' wasn't too far down the road from where our bus had stopped, and Arnold practically skipped his way down the sidewalk towards the small building with a giant record hanging above the door that read the name of the shop. It didn't seem all that busy and my suspicions were correct when we entered the store to find a lone cashier who looked bored to tears and a single customer perusing the endless rows of albums.

As my eyes scanned the bins filled to the brim with records of all varieties and in no particular order, I watched Arnold begin to sort through them feverishly. Wanting to help, I stood beside him and looked over his shoulder while quietly saying, "You know Hair Boy, if you told me what you were looking for, I might be able to help you find it."

"No thanks," Arnold replied automatically as a frown grew on my face. "If it's here, I want to be the one to find it. If that makes any sense."

Pulling away from peeking over his shoulder, I chuckled to myself with a lone shake of my head. "It doesn't, you know," I told him with amusement. "Make any sense, that is. I mean, look around!" I exclaimed while gesturing at the small store we had found ourselves in. "There must be hundreds of records in here and without my help, we could be here until closing time. And from the looks of 'Moody McGee' over there—" I pointed to the cashier tapping away on her phone without a care in the world, "—I just don't think they'd be all that stoked at such a proposition."

My words gave Arnold food for thought as he paused in his sifting through the records to consider my observation. He knew that I had a point and after a moment of silent contemplation, Arnold breathed a heavy sigh of defeat. "Fine," he said softly before twisting minimally to look over in my direction with a stern expression painted on his features. "But if I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh, okay?"

Once again rolling my eyes at his inane paranoia, I agreed to his terms and conditions. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, Arnoldo. Now what is it that we're looking for, huh?"

Arnold took a heavy breath as if to prepare himself for some big dark secret he'd been harboring. The dramatics of his lead-up to the important and somehow embarrassing tidbit threw me off once it was finally off his chest. "It's this Dino Spumoni record. It's… It's really, really rare because it was a live recording from one of his shows when he was still singing with Martin and Lewis in the Lounge."

I stared at him with my mouth ajar as though in shock, which I quickly wiped off and swapped the expression for a skeptical glare instead. "That's it? That's the big mysterious record you've been hunting for? Dino Spumoni?" I soon rolled my eyes while letting out a scoff. "Cripes, Arnold! Didn't your grandparents own basically every single one of his stinkin' albums? I'll bet it's up in some closet somewhere in a box, all dusty and—"

"Well, it's not, Helga," he interrupted me, and my mouth instinctively zipped itself shut at the sudden ferocity in Arnold's tone. When his wave of agitation passed, he soon apologized and explained. "I'm sorry, it's just…" He opened his mouth to let words pass through his lips, though only air escaped. As he scrunched his brows inward, he seemingly tried to conjure just what it was he had hoped to already have said and been done with.

"It's just…what, Arnold?" I pushed gently and Arnold sighed before turning back towards the rows of records he began sifting through once again.

Quietly, he resumed speaking. "When Grandma died… Grandpa didn't take it too well." He glanced over his shoulder at me before returning his attention to the records he thumbed through, while muttering, "You remember that."

"Sure," I answered while walking away from him to walk around the end of the row and to the side directly opposite of Arnold. My hope was that from where I stood across the way, I could secretly peek over at him while pretending to look through records. "That was freshman year, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was," Arnold confirmed while holding an album up and turning it around to scan over the song listings before replacing it back to the slot he'd found it in. "Grandpa died our sophomore year."

"I remember," which I had—very vividly, in fact. It had been a really tough beginning of high school for the poor kid, and as much as I hated to admit it, their deaths were a large part of what brought the two of us even closer together. I hadn't been able to help myself from checking in on him and stopping by randomly to see how he was doing. Soon I was staying for dinner and helping move belongings and sorting through boxes.

It wasn't long after that Arnold and I began officially dating.

I always imagined how his Grandpa would have teased us; his grandma continuing to call me 'Eleanor' and maybe giving Arnold a new title of his own as an upgrade of sorts. It never had felt the same since they'd passed, but so was the nature of life—and Phil and Gertie had lived a couple of pretty amazing ones.

"Right when we first started sorting through things," Arnold continued on; effectively dragging me out of my thoughts and back to the conversation we were currently having. "I found this old Dino Spumoni record—one that I hadn't seen or listened to before. It was shoved all the way in the corner of my grandparent's closet, and we were all baffled as to why it had been hiding back there."

"So, naturally, we pulled it out and I began looking over the cover—memorizing it to the smallest wrinkle and shallowest scratch," he laughed at this as though ashamed of openly telling another person about what he'd done. "And one day, as I was pulling out the record to play it, it sort of… got caught on something? I yanked at it to try and wiggle it out of the slot, but when it got free, it slipped from my fingers and—"

"It shattered, didn't it?" I answered for him as he nodded slowly.

"Smashed," Arnold uttered with a shake of his head and a humorless smirk. "Just like the name of his song."

"And that's why we're on this hunt? To replace the record that you accidently broke?" I shrugged my shoulders while moving to the next column of miscellaneous albums. "I mean, I get it. It was your grandparents, but by replacing it, you're just honoring some other random person's copy, you know?"

"That's true," he agreed, though his tone suggested otherwise. "It isn't all about the record itself, though. After it fell and broken and I had been angry for a significant amount of time, I picked up the slipcover of the album and looked over it like I had before—memorizing every indentation and faded color that made the cover art. But this time, I ventured to look inside the slot to where the record used to lie."

A long pause followed as Arnold probably waited for me to beg for more. I was happy to oblige because I really was curious now. "And?" I pressed him.

Arnold shifted over to his next column of records and flipped with ease while glancing at each album that he passed. "There was a note shoved in the back corner. That's what the record had gotten stuck on. And since it hadn't been touched in who knows how long…" his voice trailed off as though verbally giving me a blank to fill in for him.

"It's no wonder you hadn't found it before," I finalized as he went on to tell me more about the note without my prompting.

"The note was a letter. It was dated from the 50s and it was addressed to my Grandma… from Grandpa… after their very first date."

My mind tried to imagine Gertie as a young woman and Phil as some young man; the two of them no different than Arnold and myself, but for a few years. I shook off the vision I couldn't make and said, "Well, are you going to tell me what it said, or what?"

Ignoring my sarcasm, Arnold recalled the letter as though he had recited it countless times before. "Gertie—I had a swell time with you at the lounge, tonight. Here's a cut from that performance, courtesy of Dino himself. Maybe on our next date I'll take you to meet him, as long as you don't go running off with him. He'd better not touch my gal." The both of us laughed as he ended the letter and offered a shrug. "Then he just signed it, 'yours, Phil.'"

"Your grandparents really were something," I noted while sorting through my pile; Arnold moving from the row he was in to the next one over and started going through more albums. Just beside him, the only other customer in the entire store also carefully inspected record after record—also a man on a mission.

It was clear that finding this record wasn't because he missed the music or wanted it for some kind of collection he had. Arnold was looking for this record because it was made from the very night in which his grandparents had shared their very first date. Unlike some of the zany stories told by both Phil and Gertie respectively about such a date, that letter had given Arnold tangible proof of their love story.

Finding that record meant completing the album Arnold had probably stashed away beside his bed so he could look at it the way he used to look at that old picture of his parents. Not like I knew that or anything. I didn't watch him from the skylight sometimes when it was really dark out because there was a new moon and he was distracted which meant I could hide in the shadows of the rooftop above him.

But that was beside the point.

I had to find that album. I wanted to give that back to Arnold—return to my beloved that which was lost with two of the most important people in his life. My sweet, poor, footballheaded darling. How I longed to take away the pain clouding his heart. How I desired to wave a magic wand and turn back time so he could reunite with his grandparents once again. If only I could find that album. If only I could be the hero and bring to him the one thing that would set off the familiar glimmer I longed to see from beneath his emerald green eyes.

If only… If only… If only …If—

"Hey! Give that back!"

Arnold's voice echoed through the shop, and I blinked myself back to reality to look over in the direction of where my familiar footballhead was glaring up at the other customer who was the size of a linebacker. In their hand was an album—one that I could see from where I stood had that of Dino Spumoni's face on it.

It was the album.

"No way, little dude," the stranger insisted while holding the album away from Arnold's desperate grasping. "Do you know how much this puppy is worth?"

"But I had it first," he expressed, his tone growing more distressed with each word and fling of his arm toward what the man held away from him. "You took it out of my hand."

"Yeah, so that I couldhave it," the man's voice was smug; arrogant. This dude thought he could just get away with taking something because he could.

As nice as Arnold was and as harsh as he could be when pushed, he didn't seem to phase the giant stranger who towered over him. "Please," Arnold began to plead, "You don't know what this album means to me…"

"And you don't know what it's gonna mean to my wallet," the man countered.

That was all that I needed to butt my way in to their dispute and place myself directly between this douche-nugget and Arnold. This imbecile thought that he was going to walk away with this album after swiping it out of Arnold's hands because he was some 'big, strong, tough guy?' He was clearly looking for a sweet, sweet kiss from my fists.

"Hey. Iron Giant," I addressed him while shooting a confident glare up in his direction. "How about you leave my friend alone here and I'll let you mosey on home without your eyes so swollen shut that you end up running into every single trash can, pole, and sign that you encounter?" My long-winded threat didn't strike fear in the man's eyes, though I could tell he was surprised at my sudden involvement.

With a somewhat awkward chuckle, the man shifted his gaze between Arnold and me. "Are you really threatening me? Over some stupid record?"

"Are you really so stupid that you think I won't punch your lights out faster than you can say 'I'm sorry for being a literal ass?'" I retorted as I tightened my fists at my side in preparation for my next move.

Arnold wasn't having it though.

"Helga, stop," He demanded in a harsher tone than I'd anticipated. The sudden change in his demeanor threw me off guard, and I stepped aside to look at him as he moved to the forefront to stare up at our selfish stranger.

"Listen," Arnold began firmly without so much as a stutter or waver in his voice. "I found that album first. Fair and square. It was in my hand and you will give it back to me."

This amused the man and he took a lone step in to further intimidate and loom over Arnold and me. In a low growl, he said, "Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it… kid?"

My eyes shot over to Arnold who didn't even flinch at the words the man spat in his face. With an intensity I hadn't seen in Arnold in a long time, he narrowed his eyes and matched the stranger's tone to say in return, "What will we do?" He repeated before turning to look at me and silently tell me the next step in his plan. Fully understanding what it was I had to do, Arnold faced the stranger again and simply stated, "We're going to take it back."

With that, as the stranger was distracted and utterly confused, I reached out to snatch the album from his grubby hands. "C'mon, Shortman!" I hollered as Arnold and I turned around to begin running away from the angry man we left behind.

"Hey! Get back here!" he demanded, but we didn't listen. The man may have been dumb, but he certainly wasn't dumb enough to follow after the two of us and cause a scene. Not only did this cashier not care, but we were just teenagers. Surely the dude didn't want to get into a huge fight with a couple of kids.

After we paid for the record and it was safely in a bag that Arnold carried with pride at his side, we slowly walked down the sidewalk in pursuit of the bus stop. Evening was approaching and the sun had just begun to slowly sink into the horizon; the sky morphing into bright hues of oranges and pinks that swirled together like paint on a canvas. Once we made it to the bus stop, we took a seat on the bench to wait while Arnold pulled out the album and gave it a look-over.

"I can't believe we found it," He mused while staring at the cover with a smile.

"Technically you found it," I corrected him before smirking and leaning back into the bench we sat on. "And what I can't believe is you, Hair Boy."

Arnold carefully placed the album back in the plastic bag before turning to look at me with a raised brow. "What can't you believe?"

"That guy was huge, Arnold," the words came out in shock as though the memory of him was even bigger than he had been in reality. "I'm surprised you had the guts to stand up to him like that. You didn't even flinch."

"You were the one threatening to start a fight, Helga, not him. Why would I flinch?" he soon countered, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"He seemed pretty antagonistic to me. He could have socked you right there, but you just…. Stood there." I said with a smirk. "But me? That's not really how I work, you know that. I was ready to pick a fight. And If he ended up giving me two black eyes, he would have at least gotten one and it would have been worth it, too. You were walking away with that album if it was the last thing I did, today."

"At least it didn't come to that," Arnold said while reaching out to lace his hand with mine and offered a light squeeze. "I think our plan worked just fine."

"You're telling me. For once you and your giant head were the brains of the operation," I offered, and Arnold shook his head in amusement.

"It can't always be you, you know," he soon replied with a twinkle in his eye; the hint of a tease with a half-smile that I could hardly resist. "I can be clever and witty too."

"You have your grandparents to thank for that," I told him earnestly; the glimmer in his gaze dulling as he soaked in what I was saying. "I think that Gertie and Phil would be proud of you for holding your ground and getting that album back. I'll bet it was something they would have done."

"Grandpa definitely would have," Arnold agreed with a nod and a smile at the thought. I could tell that he was thinking of either a memory or trying to imagine him doing such a thing. He was lost in the thought for a moment before letting out a chuckle and adding, "Grandma would have gone a much, much more dramatic route, though."

"You're probably right about that, footballhead."

Together we sat, hand in hand, on the bench as we waited for the bus to arrive. With each new conversation and laugh that we shared, I relished the future the two of us would surely have. If today had proven anything, it was that Arnold and I worked best in tandem with each other; just like another couple we knew.

And when we reached Sunset Arms again and headed up for Arnold's room, the first thing he did was put on that record; the music filling the air to transport us back to that legendary couple's very first date. Like them, Arnold and I would have many a story to tell our grandchildren one day, and maybe someday, they too would go on a mission to find some missing relic of our love and fight to get it.

My only hope was that, like Arnold, they too wouldn't flinch at the opportunity.

[debbiewilder]

(idk if tumblr ate my other ask up so im just gonna say it again lmao) do u have any predictions for glow s4 or like.. a wishlist maybe?

oh i got it dude, if you write me an anon that requires more than half a brain cell to reply, it usually takes me a few days to respond, but always good to check, tumblr can be weird!

anyway, to answer your question, here are predictions and a wish list mixed into one, good luck figuring out which is which.

-I want Ruth to start season 4 exactly like we saw her in season 1…at a shitty audition. It’ll feel even more hollow and painful now though (for audience and for Ruth) bc she’s dealt w so much at glow but is still in the exact same place. I think that would be a strong way to start the season, and I could actually see them open with that? 

-I want Ruth and Debbie to spend some time apart. Kind of like Killing Eve season 1, the characters could spend time away from each other but be obsessing over/thinking of each other?? Like I could see that really really working for season 4. I mean, I would obviously love if every scene was Ruth and Debbie together, but I also just think the only way Ruth can figure out who she is and what she wants is if she gets away from Debbie for a little while. Not to mention the only way to get Ruth and Debbie to a healthier, more balanced place is if they spend some time apart I think.

-I mean I obviously wish for Ruth and Debbie to admit they’re in love because duh but….yeah not predicting that 

-I think the last frame of the series could be Ruth and Debbie together looking all happy. Kind of goes against the last frame of the first ep where Debbie is pinning Ruth to the ground in the ring.

-I’m really curious to see what they do with Bash?? I guess we’ll see what’s suggested in Season 3. He’ll start having sex with men, Rhonda will probably find out somehow because she’s pretty perceptive, and she’ll also try to be there for him but it’ll be a huge mess because Bash doesn’t want understanding in ways he prob wants to be hated for being gay…I wonder if it’d jeopardize the new network but I doubt they’d go that route, I think that’d prob be a lame route to take. Rhonda has always been really good at communicating to men who are dickheads to her so I think it’ll be interesting to see what she does when she finds out Bash is gay. And what Bash does in turn anyway.

-Oh, Debbie Eagan. My favorite fictional character of all time. I think her arc is almost all the way there. She’s come a really long way. EXCEPT it’s time we see what she’s like without Ruth. Because that Debbie is gonna be a big ol’ mess and I can’t wait. She’s used to relying on Ruth for like everything. Also, Debbie used some shitty, selfish language when she offered her eden for Ruth and Debbie. I don’t trust GLOW to actually have Debbie realize that though but I wish her to realize that…I mean given how much they’ve skipped over so much other stuff (Debbie took drugs while wrestling meanwhile Ruth thinks Debbie broke her leg on purpose, Ruth had an abortion after having sex with Mark and Debbie doesn’t know etc etc etc). But I do WISH they would have Debbie realize that she used shitty language with Ruth and grow more? So, we’ll see. I think time apart could do them some good and there’s at least a chance Debbie will realize like oh telling someone their dreams will never come true isn’t the best thing to say kjlsdf

-I do think they’re finally gonna give their protagonist a bit of an arc. Sure, it’s in the FOURTH season and that is…ridiculous but…it feels like Ruth may actually get to grow. My fingers and toes crossed that happens dude!! 

-prediction def not a wish: Sam and Ruth have sex. I think Sam could encourage Ruth to reach out to Debbie? Def not a wish too because I want Ruth to figure out her shit on her own but…the writers seem to struggle with making Ruth active so it might be a way to include Sam. I also don’t think Ruth and Sam will end up together or if they do it might have little screen time since the writers seem pretty uninterested in Sam in season 3? I don’t know, we’ll see. 

-Honestly really curious how they resolve Sam’s storyline with the health stuff…because he starts drinking when the doctor told him not to which suggests yeah he could die…but could he die?? In a show like GLOW?? Not sure?? He felt kind of…besides the point in season 3 so not sure what they’re gonna do with him tbh

-unsure what they’ll do with the other girls and how they’ll include them all? I could see the first episode having a more limited cast or something. Until X and then the gang has to get back together again. Oh god I hope it’s not a funeral or something. Or, the B and C story feel super unrelated to each other for a while. Really looking forward to seeing how they bring everyone back together. 

-curious what the new network will be like for Bash and Debbie. In ways, I could see it really working out and meanwhile they’re falling apart in their personal lives because that sorta defines Bash and Debbie? I can’t wait to see them working together omg

-What will bring Ruth and Debbie back together? I don’t know! Ruth goes on an audition and accidentally sees Debbie at the casting. Ruth finally goes to Debbie because she’s ready to be her equal…Debbie goes back to Ruth and realizes her first proposal was shit and she learns her lesson like in Pride and Prejudice and does a better proposal. Not sure. Doesn’t matter, point is Ruth has to figure out her shit first. What acting means to her. What directing means to her. Some ppl in fandom seem to really want Ruth to be a director and think she made a huge mistake not agreeing to Debbie’s terms. I disagree. It feels like she’s done directing in the past because Sam wasn’t doing his job or whatever. She def shouldn’t just be forced down some path someone else wants for her, even if that person is Debbie. Like, Ruth may realize she wants to be a director in season 4 but I just really want Ruth to figure out what she wants and who she is on her own terms and go for it. She could have a healthier relationship to acting. She def needs to have a healthier relationship to fiction and express herself more fully in her real relationships. That would be a happy ending to me. Not her just going to directing because Debbie says she should. I just want Ruth to explore and find a healthier relationship to herself and fiction and Debbie and that’s really my main wish for season 4. And, I predict they may finally honor her.

Hope this nonsense was worth the wait, anon :) 

[the-record-newspaper]

The killing of Rhonda Hinson Part 49

James "Flash" Pruett and his wife Rhonda, as they embark upon a trail conducting them to the petroglyphs discovered near their home at Pahvant Butte in Fillmore, Utah.  It was snapped in July, 2015 by Ruth Riddle Jones.  

 An Encomium

 By LARRY J. GRIFFIN

Special Investigative Reporter

For The Record

 Editor’s note: This is the continuation of a series on the Dec. 23, 1981, unsolved murder of Rhonda Hinson.

 To James “Flash” Pruett—a foremost champion of the law of his generation…whom I shall ever regard as one of the best and wisest men whom I have ever known.—Adapted from, “The Final Problem,” by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

 As a tear trickled down his cheek, Detective James “Flash” Pruett silently slipped away into perpetuity on Saturday, March 14, 2020.  The time was 7:15 p.m.  

His wife, Rhonda, was by his side, as she has been over the last heart-rending months, weeks, and final days of her husband’s life struggle.  “I know he heard us,” Rhonda Pruett averred during conversation with this writer.  “He had been out of it the entire time. So yes, I talked to him and gave him jobs to do when he left….”

Ironically, the 69-year-old lawman died on the birthday of the Pruetts’ beloved dog, Paiute, that they lost just weeks ago.  “He died on her 14th birthday, Pi day,” Rhonda informed friends on her personal Facebook page.  

The former detective will be missed by a plethora of appreciative admirers for the impeccable, incomparable investigative work that he did relative to the Rhonda Hinson murder case—the proof of which can be found on the Remembering Rhonda Hinson Facebook page.  As of press time, over 9,400 friends and followers of the page have read the post announcing his demise, with over a hundred respondents offering their commiserations to Flash’s family and friends. And condolences continue to come.

Jill Turner-Mull—Rhonda Hinson’s best friend and lifelong activist for obtaining resolution for the 38-year-old murder case—was one of them. “This saddens me deeply but I do find comfort in knowing heaven gained an angel.  Big hugs and prayers sent to Rhonda and the family.”

Connie Barnes—Rhonda Hinson’s friend and indefatigable advocate for justice for the slain 19-year-old—agrees with Jill, “Heaven gained an angel for sure.”  Then she adds, “Thinking of his family and praying for their comfort in the days to follow.  You are our hero, Flash…your dedication to Rhonda’s case was the best.”

Mark Perrou—a friend of the Hinson family and activist for justice—directly addresses the detective who worked diligently to solve Rhonda’s case: “Thanks, Flash for being a loyal servant to the community.  Godspeed, Sir.”

Janis Mullis—a Hinson family friend and outspoken advocate for the resolving of Rhonda’s case—offers, “Many, many prayers for his family and much appreciation for his hard work that will live on!”

 Others write descriptively of Mr. Pruett’s professional prowess:

“--Absolutely the very best, trustworthy awesome intelligent detective I have ever known and I had the honorable luck of calling him and his equally precious beautiful and talented RN wife for my friends.”

“--I had the pleasure of working with Flash at BCSD.  He was a Great Detective and a very honorable man. This world needs more men like him. He will be missed greatly.”

“--So sad to hear this.  I met Flash and worked with him as an electrician.  A very smart and proficient individual not to mention a great guy.”

“--He was a very caring and kind officer, enjoyed working with him.”

“--I’m sorry to hear this.  He tried hard for Rhonda and her family to solve this murder.  God Bless you Flash—you were one of the good guys for sure!”

Still other respondents—far too numerous to enumerate—sent condolences, prayerful commiserations, and expressions of love to Detective Pruett’s wife, Rhonda, and the rest of his family.  

For Bobby and Judy Hinson, the detective was more than just a lifeline back to the investigation into the murder of their daughter, he was a friend.  Judy Hinson writes articulately about the man whom they felt cared the most:

“Flash was one of the finest people we have ever met.  There was never a time that he was too busy to talk to us.  He always answered any questions that we had.  He never made us feel like we were bothering him when we called the department and the times we called him at home.  Flash was always so kind and so caring.  Not only his family but all the people who knew him have lost someone that can never be replaced.”

Detective Pruett’s comprehensive investigation into the killing of Rhonda Hinson has become legendary.  As previously reported, Flash was officially assigned the case by Major Robert Lane and Lieutenant Greg Calloway on Friday Jan. 20, 1995, during the Richard Epley administration.  Gene Franklin was tasked with the responsibility to assist Detective Pruett in the continuation of the investigation.

Over the next five-years, Flash applied a systematic, logical approach to the conduction of his investigation—in contrast to the often inconsistent, inconstant efforts of most of his predecessors, as reflected in case documentation.  In an interview with News Herald staff writer, Jen Pilla, three-years after his assignment to the post of lead investigator for the Rhonda Hinson case, the detective articulated the course he would pursue throughout:  “When I was assigned to this case three-years ago, I decided it was time to go back to the basics and back to the crime scene itself.”

And back to the basics it was as he conducted interviews, tracked leads, and continuously examined and re-examined the totality of accrued evidence. Moreover, on the morning of Wednesday, Oct. 15, 1997, he initiated and assisted in the performance of an SBI ballistics assessment for the expressed purpose of ascertaining the trajectory of the projectile that killed Rhonda Hinson on the early morning of Dec. 23, 1981. He, along with a team of SBI agents, utilized a 1982 Datsun 210—similar to the 1981 Datsun 210 driven by the decedent—that the Hinsons had acquired and ceded to BCSD to be used to perform whatever testing deemed necessary.  

The results obtained from the ballistics assessment, as reported in the summary, forever dismissed any possibility that the shooting was done from Interstate 40, from Elmer Buff’s property, or from either embankment along Eldred Street/Hwy 350.  The conclusion?  Only a person standing on ground level and behind Rhonda’s car could have fired a shot that matched the calculated trajectory of the missile that extinguished her brief life.

 There were some “firsts” accomplished by Detective Pruett:  the assignment of significance to the articles found in Rhonda Hinson’s Datsun 210 that were not present when she left her parents’ residence to attend a company Christmas party on Tuesday evening, Dec. 22, 1981, and the first-ever interview of Mark Turner—Jill Turner-Mull’s boyfriend and Greg McDowell’s friend—over fourteen-years after Rhonda’s murder. Flash seemed convinced that the gray-hooded sweatjacket, belonging to Miss Hinson—that she left in Turner’s automobile, yet managed to be prominently displayed on the sundeck of Rhonda’s Datsun 210 on the morning she was murdered—was as a key to cracking this case. Turner, however, told the detective that he could not remember how it got out of his car and into that of the slain 19-year-old—an asseveration that Flash clearly did not believe.  

Detective Pruett also applied surveillance equipment to the investigation, as he leveraged the relationships that Mark and Faith Turner and Jeff Hinkle had with Greg McDowell, in an effort to capture incriminating statements offered by Rhonda Hinson’s former boyfriend while engaged in casual conversation.

On Tuesday afternoon Dec. 23, 1997, Detective Pruett—along with Sheriff Richard Epley and an entourage of others—interviewed Greg McDowell in his engineering office in Hickory.  He noted that the 34-year-old engineer admitted—for the first time—that he knew that Rhonda had called him from Sherry Pittman Yoder’s house, in contrast to his statement to law enforcement, proffered immediately following the murder, in which he maintained that he thought Rhonda was at home.  McDowell also informed Flash and the others that a pink snake, acquired during a Myrtle Beach trip and among the items found in Rhonda’s Datsun 210 on the day of her death, “stayed on his dresser at home.”  

Unfortunately, subsequent to a near-fatal automobile accident that occurred during Winter 2000, Detective Pruett’s days as lead investigator and employee at the BCSD were numbered.  While he was having back surgery to repair damage sustained in the accident, Flash was supplanted by Sheriff John McDevitt when he hired former SBI agent, John Suttle to head his criminal investigations division.  It was News Herald staff writer Cheryl Moose Bollinger [Shuffler] who reported the action in a Nov. 19, 2000, article entitled, “Retired Agent Back in Law Enforcement.”

Shortly after his return to the BCSD and not completely rehabilitated, James Pruett was afforded the option to resign or face the prospect of termination, according to statements that Flash made to this writer across several interviews.  A similar scenario was recounted by former Sheriff McDevitt when he admitted to the Hinsons, at a local restaurant in the Fall 2019, that he had to get rid of Flash because he didn’t think that he could do the work any longer.

Though Mr. Pruett admitted to being treated badly under McDevitt’s administration, he refused to castigate his fellow law enforcement colleagues who were instrumental in effecting his departure from the BCSD.  

One singular feature of Detective Pruett’s investigation that distinguishes it from those conducted by others, was his detailed notes that he assiduously recorded at the conclusion of every day that he worked the Hinson case. They not only offer descriptions of actions, procedures, and factual summaries of interviews with principals, they also provide insight into the detective’s hypotheses and questions yet to be answered.

Whether intended or not, Flash’s notes are reflective of the measure of the man himself—his characteristic dedication and compassion; and his respect and caring concern for Bobby and Judy Hinson.  Sometimes they bespeak his own very human, personal feelings which were otherwise masked beneath the stoic façade of a seasoned law enforcement officer.  None illustrates his inherent character better than the final paragraph of his detailed description of activities on what would have been the day of Rhonda Hinson’s birthday –Wednesday Dec. 13, 1995:

“The last thing I did today was to go by Rhonda’s gravesite.  I spent about five minutes there in prayer.  I could see the pain in Judy and Bobby’s faces when I was with them today, Rhonda’s 33rd birthday.  I could feel the weight of that pain on me at the gravesite.  It was especially hard on all of us today.

Though he was criticized for his “obsessive” attachment to the “most investigated case in Burke County history,” Detective James “Flash” Pruett persevered.  Some of his last sentiments expressed to this writer indicated his desire to leave the rehabilitation facility and continue—on his own time—the investigation into the killing of Rhonda Hinson.  

“There are things that I should tell you,” Flash declared to me. “But I can’t tell you right now and not here.”

In his final two months of life, while in the throes of Parkinson’s Disease, the quintessential detective was ready to resume the work toward achieving resolution to the 38-year-old murder case and obtaining a modicum of peace for the Hinsons.  

This is the “stuff” of heroes.

James “Flash” Pruett

August 16, 1950—March 14, 2020

[piperslovebot]

T7S otps because I wanna be positive

Jackie x Hyde

Fez x Kelso

Eric x Donna

Brooke x Kelso

Red x Kitty

Honorable mentions: Fez x Rhonda, Bob x Joanne, Jackie x Eric, and Donna x Jackie

[shortmania]

Hi Shortmania! I send this ask for character design reasons. Do you have any headcanon heights for any of the HA! characters at their "The Patakis" age? I don't need all of them. Just Arnold and Helga will do nicely as a starting point. You can google mrinitialman if you want to look for something to have a better visual representation of what you have in mind Thank you for taking the time to read this regardless.

Well, first of all, thank you for the neat new resource, whoa. That is super helpful and I will definitely be using that in the future.

As for my headcanons, I’m a little nervous to say because I know they’re unpopular, lol. So little disclaimer there, but.

At age 15 (and likely the rest of their lives since growth spurts after 14 (female) and 16 (male) are rare):

FOR COMPARISON:US MALE AVERAGE: 5'9"US FEMALE AVERAGE: 5'4"

Arnold: 5'7"Helga: 5'6"Gerald: 5'10"Phoebe: 5'4"Harold: 5'5"Patty: 5'11"Stinky: 6'3"Sid: 5'6"Rhonda: 5'4"Curly: 5'12"Eugene: 5'3"

And those are the ones I’ve thought about and stand behind. I think most of these are pretty self-explanatory, they’re just based off their parents, but I’ll explain the ones I know most other fans are likely to be confused by. You can skip anything you’re uninterested in, Anon. ❤️I just like to be thorough. 

It is controversial to propose Arnold and Helga end up about the same height–most everybody prefer one of them to be significantly taller than the other–but it’s… just not my preference, for a few reasons. The Shortmans are a tall folk, Craig has confirmed that, but I like to think the males on Stella’s side of the family run a little smaller just because the idea of Arnold tall seems strange. He’s been consistently small throughout his childhood, and even at age eleven didn’t really grow more than maybe an inch or two since the fourth grade. Specifically, I think Arnold’s namesake, Stella’s dad, was the same. That is to say, I think he was a shorter than average dude, and I like to think Arnold strongly resembles him. That’s a baseless personal headcanon, and I acknowledge that. Arnold could be a late bloomer. I just like him a little smol.

On Helga’s end of things, my reasoning is just that… Well, there isn’t really any wrong way to calculate Helga’s height because we know basically nothing about her roots apart from Bob and Miriam. And Miriam appears to be average-ish, maybe above, Bob actually isn’t too too much taller (maybe 3-4 inches, and 2-4 inches shorter than Phil who I imagine is about 5'12"-6'0"), and Olga’s either average or below since she’s noticeably shorter than Miriam, so it’s just easiest for me to headcanon Helga as a couple inches over 5'4". It’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s funny because it subverts expectations a bit. But I will say this: Miriam’s family is from South Dakota, Bob’s probably is as well, and South Dakota boasts some of the tallest folks in the US. Bob is also some form of Scandinavian – Hungarian, German, Ukrainian, Polish, who knows – and men in those countries tend to float around the benchmark of 5'10", and women an inch or two below the US average. So, Helga could easily be tall. Helga could also be pretty short. I do enjoy it when people portray her as this hulking powerhouse of a woman who could lift Arnold with just one arm, it’s a high quality option I would like to see more of, but my thing is that I’m always trying to a) be realistic, and b) leave room for funny scenarios. And Arnold being literally just one inch taller than Helga and Helga being endlessly salty about it is hilarious to me. 

Apart from all that, I hate to mention this, but: Helga isn’t consistently fed, and when she is fed, it’s usually with crap, so. When kids aren’t fed well or often, they don’t tend to grow quite as much as they might have otherwise. So, that is something to take into account. Moving on now.

About Gerald: thing is, there’s that stereotype of black men being absolute mountains because of basketball and I think that’s probably why most people see Gerald being like six feet, but… Gerald’s dad is a frugal numbers-obsessed business man. He’s nerdy. He’s kinda short. It makes a little bit of sense to me that Gerald might be tall-ish because for a nine-year-old boy, he is fairly big? But eh. I just try to split the difference, to honor both his genes and his onscreen rate of development, and I arrive at a little above average because the thought of Gerald being the sole Tol of his immediate family (taller than Jamie-O, especially) is funny to me, and I will always pick the option that is funny to me.

Aaaand both of Harold’s parents are tiny. I don’t really know why people always draw/write him tall--I guess it’s more attractive? he always refers to himself as big? he’s a part of the hulking bully/gentle giant archetype?--but people forget he’s 13 in-show and actually pretty small for his age. At least compared to, like, fifth and sixth graders. Wolfgang is at least twice his height, and I’m pretty sure Harold is older than him. This show is ridiculously confusing and inconsistent about age and child development, but, well. These are the only points of reference we have, so. Yep. 

I love Patty… That’s it. That’s my reasoning. Let her tower over us all as she rightfully deserves.

I hope this was helpful! You don’t have to agree with me, of course, but I hope I at least gave a fair baseline for you to form your own conclusions. Thanks for caring about my dumb opinion, lol, and best wishes on all your projects.

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

Tagged by @kingofthewilderwest! ahhh, thank you, this is gonna be fun! Aside from the fact that picking a favorite character is like picking a favorite child in some cases and it makes me feel like I abandoned my other babies.

Rules: List 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and tag some people.

Soos Ramirez (Gravity Falls)

[honorable mentions: Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Ford- seriously I love all four of them equally and passionately and I have to pick Soos because picking only one twin feels like a betrayal when I love them all so much]

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How to Train Your Dragon)

[honorable mentions: Ruffnut, Stoick, and Meatlug]

Fishlegs No-Name (How to Train Your Dragon, books)

[honorable mentions: Hiccup, Camicazi, Toothless, Wodensfang, Norbert the Nutjob]

Tenya Iida (Boku No Hero Academia)

[honorable mentions: waaay too many, but Uraraka, Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, All Might, Mirio, Aizawa, Tsuyu, Fatgum, Kirishima, Eri, Midoriya, and Inko are all up there]

Reynard Muldoon (Mysterious Benedict Society)

[honorable mentions: Kate, Sticky, Constance, Mr. Benedict, Milligan, Rhonda, Number Two, S.Q.)

Agent Oona (Odd Squad)

[honorable mentions: Oscar, Olive, Otto]

Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

[honorable mentions: Hughes, Ed, Winry, Riza, Alex Louis Armstrong]

Yui Hirasawa (K-On)

[honorable mentions: Mugi, Mio, Ritsu- honestly I like the whole main cast pretty equally]

Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

[honorable mentions: Nebula, Mantis, Okoye, T’Challa, Agent Hill, Thor]

Edmund Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia, books)

[honorable mentions: Lucy, Aslan, Puddleglum]

The hardest part of this was thinking of ten different fandoms. I could’ve listed a whole bunch of characters from Disney/Pixar/individual movies, but then there’d be too many and we’d be here all day. I’m not that emotionally invested in Marvel, but I’ve invested too much time in it not to list it. XD I’m not actively into Odd Squad anymore, but it was my first real fandom and it’s still funny and the characters are still great and it has a special place in my heart.

Looking over this list, I don’t think I have as much of a “type” as some people do. But I definitely have a thing for analytical boys, nerd boys, good boys, sassy British children, and unabashedly weird girls. XD

Let’s see, I’ll tag @thepotatoreader, @trixytheunicorn, @artsy-dreamer, @nightfury-2001, @deepfathom, @fluffyrainbowbutterfly, and @extract0fllama, if y’all feel like doing this would be fun.

[yaachtynoboat711]

At First Glance Ch. 3: Keep the Family Close

A/N: Remember when I said in 2.2 that there’d be a 2.3? I lied. This is going to be the second to the last chapter of the At First Glance series. There will a few one-shots stemming, but no more chapters after Chapter 4. Can’t believe I’m almost done. Also, Yaa and Khalida are used interchangeably. Now with the formalities out of the way, this comes just in time for one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving!!! This particular chapter has been in my archives since forever ago lol. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving with your family and friends, beautiful people!

Warning(s): Fluff, slight hints of angst, language, Yaa the Librarian has returned.

Translations: Marraine= Grandma (Creole);Rainy—>Parraine=grandpa (Creole); aibnatu=daughter (Arabic)

Word Count:

(Ch. 1)(Ch.2.1)(Ch. 2.2)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013, Darrow, Louisiana, 11:23 p.m.

Thanksgiving is a holiday of family, food, and the unofficial beginning of the holiday season. This was no different for the St. Pierre-Daniels family. Their first granddaughter, Yaa, was bringing her new boyfriend Winston down to Louisiana to meet the entire family. God rest his unsuspecting soul.

The couple’s flights arrived in New Orleans at around 8:30 that evening and getting the rental car took an unnecessary hour and an act of Congress, making their actual departure of New Orleans closer to 10. Their hour-long trip provided Yaa to give her boyfriend a recap on their past conversations of her family.

“One last time: Rainey expects you to help out on the ranch, Aunt Rhonda has a thing for Caribbean men and she’s been pushing my buttons since 2011, so that means we actually may fight. My cousins Dom, Erica, Whitney, Delonte, and I are the Turn Up Krewe, so don’t be surprised when we pass by the Quarter and we all turning up, and finally whatever you do, DO NOT, Winston Christopher, EVER refer to New Orleans as Nawlins, cuz that ain’t it, y’eardme?”, Yaa pleaded. Her New Orleans accent was dancing with her normal accent.

“Why not?”, Winston asked as he now had to keep himself from slipping up.

“Because, that’s not we pronounce it here. Some duckass clown from outta town more than likely and got even mo’ duckasses saying it.”

“Noted. I’m nervous, K.”.

“For what?”

“I mean, what if they don’t like me?”

“First of all, you’re the first boyfriend to actually make it to visiting the entire family...at the house. Second, Carrie wouldn’t have asked for you by name to come down. If Carrie wants to see you, she must want to get to know you, which is an honor. Thirdly, the family haze ain’t that bad. It may be worse for the fellas because, you know, the matriarchy, but you should be fine.”

“Wow, no pressure. That’s cool.”, Winston said sarcastically. Yaa took his large hands into her small ones and began rubbing them.

“Be yourself. It attracted me to you ,right? If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for them loud ass folks I call my family, y’eardme?”

The remainder of the car ride was filled with laughter and some good ol’ NOLA Bounce music.

Finally, they turned onto a street where they were met with a massive mansion lit by lanterns. She’d alluded to the family home being a mansion, but Winston wasn’t prepared for the colossal antebellum structure before him. She rang the bell and was let in. After finding a good spot to park, Winston opened his girlfriend’s door and they got their luggage from the back seat. Winston rang the bell and a young, petite woman about Yaa’s age opened the door.

“May I help y--AAAAHHHHHHHH KEEDYYYYY! Y’ALL KEEDY HERE WITH HER MAN!” She ran and hugged Yaa. “WHITNEY, BITCH, WAZZAM?!”, Yaa asked now in her full accent. Winston looked visibly terrified as he walked into the house.

“Guess who decided to pass by Darrow for da holiday?”, Whitney announced into the living area as the three walked into the grand foyer. The family members in the house turned around and began to get up to greet their baby and her boyfriend.

“Keedy, cher, you look good! How’s our favorite lawyer doing? And who’s this nice chocolate King behind you? Is this the subject of Mama’s curiosity?”, her Aunt Rhonda inquired as she half-hugged her niece and made her way to Winston.

“I’m tired as hell from the flight and yes, this is Winston. Winston, this is my umi’s older sister, Rhonda. Aunt Rhonda, my boyfriend, Winston Duke.”

“Winston Duke? That has a little Caribbean weight to it, don’t you think? Where you from, dear?”

“I was raised in upstate New York, but I’m…” he switched into his accent “...originally from Tobago.” Yaa was shook and a little turned on. He knew what he was doing. Aunt Rhonda and Yaa were probably going to scrap by the end of the week.

“T&T, eh? Mama didn’t tell us you were from the Islands, Winston.”

“She didn’t tell yo thirsty ass, Ma!”, Delonte yelled from the next room. The entire room sans Aunt Rhonda erupted into laughter and the couple moved to the kitchen.

The kitchen was filled with the smells of cajun and pre-Thanksgiving cuisine, not to mention the aunts and uncles that prepared the feast were standing around the large island conversing. When Yaa and Winston came in, they all got up and hugged the two. So far, so good, the family was very receptive of Winston. He kept his accent, which was a bonus for originality. After the introductory conversation, Uncle Pat asked the all-important question, “So, Winston, I’m sure you’ve heard this question a million times, but how did you get the pleasure of meeting my niece?”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind telling everyone how my life how my life has been changed.” Yaa rolled her eyes and huffed in dramatic annoyance at her boyfriend’s cheesy answer. “ANYWAYS, we met at the Black Yale benefit a month ago... today actually. Her friend Tanisha introduced us, but we saw each other before the formal introduction. She looked like an angel in her costume and I, a total duckass.” Everyone stared at Winston for his proper usage of the term. “The moment I saw her, I knew she was special. It was like Heaven put an arrow over her head as the indication that she was the one. I almost didn’t go to the Benefit this year, but I’m glad I did.” The aunts awed as they realized their niece was in love with someone that was in love with her. Winston gripped Yaa by her waist and kissed her temple. She looked up at him with a side eye. “You’re pushing it,Duke.”, she whispered.

After saying hey to damn near everyone in the house, Yaa went looking for her parents. “Aunt Heather, where’s Deej and Mustapha?”, Yaa asked her aunt.

“You didn’t see them in the back dining room?”, her aunt replied.

“I haven’t been to the back yet. Is Carrie in the Room?”

“Yes. Matter of fact, I just went back there to tell her and Daddy you’re here. She’s ready when you are. Nice to meet you and welcome to the family, Winston.”

The couple traveled to the back dining parlor, aka the actual dining room where everyone ate. Sitting at the table where Yaa’s parents Khadijah and Mustapha, along with her twin sister Farrah,her boyfriend Avery, and their younger brother Jahlil. With parents’ backs to the door, a surprise was inevitable.

“Farrah, have you heard from Khali? It’s after midnight and I’m getting worried. I want to meet this young man she’s been talking about.”, Khadijah asked.

“I texted her a few moments ago, but you can definitely ask her.”, Farrah nodded her head in the direction of the doorway. When Khadijah turned around, she fell to ground, overcome with emotion. Mustapha shot up and hugged his first-born (Yaa was an hour older). “Babycakes!”, he exclaimed as he kissed the top of Yaa’s head. “Baba!”, she replied. Yaa was in heaven as she was in the embrace of her favorite man. Khadijah joined in the lovefest as they had not seen Yaa since after celebrating her passing the bar exam in late May. Jahlil cleared his throat to break up the lovefest. “Uh...Umi, Baba, we have someone here.”, his said pointing to an innocent looking Winston. The trio separated and Yaa stood proudly next to her man. “Family, I’d like for y’all to meet my boyfriend, Winston Duke. Winston, these are my parents, Drs. Khadijah and Mustapha Abdullah, my twin sister Farrah, her lame ass boyfriend Avery, and my ugly ass baby brother, Jahlil.”, Yaa announced. Winston nodded his head at everyone. Mustapha, who proudly stood at 6’5” as well, walked up to Winston with a sincere look in his eyes as he gave him a nice sturdy handshake, which led into a hug.

“So, Mr.Duke, man to man, what are your intentions with my aibnatu?”, Mustapha’s gaze fixed on Winston’s face. Though he didn’t know Arabic, Winston understood the context clear as day. He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts.

“No offense, Dr. Mustapha, but I intend to make Khalida happier than you have made Dr. Khadijah. I know it’s only been a month of us knowing each other, but this is the woman God intended for me to be with. Period. You and Dr. Khadijah have created and reared a woman of grace, class, and uniqueness. So, my intentions with your daughter is to make her the happiest woman this side of the Universe.”

The room went quiet. Mustapha and Khadijah looked at each other. Khadijah smiled and looked at Winston. “Well, son, I think I speak on behalf of the family that there is no offense taken. We teach our children to do and be better than us. I’m so elated that you’ve found happiness with Khali.”,Khadijah sat extending her arms to Winston to embrace him. “Mother is waiting for you all by the way. Go on and go to the Room.” “Yes ma’am.”, the young couple said in unison.

The two walked through a labyrinth of turns and secret doorways until they reached a red door at the end of a secret hallway beneath the back staircase. Yaa knocked on the door three times. A raspy yet kind voice answered, “It’s open, cher!”. Yaa opened the door, took her shoes off, and instructed Winston to do the same. The dark room was lit with massive candles surrounding the altar in a corner of the vast room. Relics, more candles and skulls littered the altar’s table. Carrie sat on her knees facing a much bigger altar that covered a majority of the wall. She turned around and extended her out to her granddaughter to help her up. “My first grandgirl! How was your trip down here?”, Carried asked.

“Long and tiring. It’s always the drive that gets me.”, Yaa replied. Carrie craned her neck up at Winston’s figure as she wrapped her arm around his waist. “Welcome to the family, my son. I’ve heard great things about you and I hope you the same with me. Please, have a seat.”

Carrie pulled three chairs into a triangle and re-adjusted her turban. “So, Winston, I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve been expecting you since you met my baby. I wanted to see for myself and see if you’re the one the Universe has ordained for her.” She took his massive hands into her small hands and looked into his soul. She held her hand to his heart and began shaking her head as if she was having a conversation with his heart. She smiled.

“It’s apparent that you love Khalida.”, Carrie began, “I mean, hell, she’s my joy and we have a strong soul tie. You two have a stronger soul tie than I’ve ever felt between two people than any of these knuckle-headed ass men that have married my babies. You two are without a doubt soulmates. However, your journey, like many, won’t be easy.”

Winston sat up in his seat. “What do you mean, Mother Carrie?”, he inquired with worry. His furrowed brow matched his tone.

“Well, you two are going to separate at some point. But don’t worry; you’ll get back together. The foundation of your friendship will and shall be constant. You’ll have to see each other happy with someone else to realize how much you mean to each other.I mean, I’m confident that you already do, but it’s easier said than done. But don’t worry; there will also be many more signs during your separation that will aid in your reunion. I’ve never seen anything like you two. This is nothing but the work of Oshun. I prayed that at least one of my babies would be blessed by Oshun and my prayers have once again been answered.”

Winston was visibly uneasy and overwhelmed by Carrie’s words. “But why separate? I don’t understand. We’re already long-distance as it is.”, Winston wondered.

“Because, my dear, you have to let go of the things you love the most to really understand their true value. Now, you two are tired I’m sure so go on to the room.”, Carrie instructed basically pushing them out of the Room.

When they returned to the remainder of the house, the living room was empty but the grandkids’ floor was jumping. With 21 grandkids, it’s only but so much turn up that can occur. The hallway was filled with muffled sounds of laughter, chatter, and music throughout the many rooms.

The hallway was filled with muffled sounds of laughter, chatter, and music throughout the many rooms. Because she was the first girl, Yaa was fortunate to have a room to herself at the very end of the hall. Winston looked in amazement at the beauty of the house as he toted their luggage to the end of the hall. “This room is..this whole house is...wow.”, Winston struggled to put into words everything he’d experienced since being at the house. From the vast columns that supported the house’s exterior to the smaller ones on the inside, the remodeled interior of the former plantation was indeed a wonder to behold.

Yaa’s room wasn’t as big as the other shared rooms, but it was definitely spacious enough. The dark hardwood floors and window treatments perfectly juxtaposed the off-white walls and neutral-toned furniture. Her room was the only room on the floor that kept with the modern farmhouse interior of the house.

By the time Winston got the bags in the room and got himself comfortable, his girlfriend emerged from the bathroom in her pajama shorts and her NFL ex-boyfriend’s Saints t-shirt. “Well don’t you look at peace”, Winston commented as he examined his girlfriend with a smirk on his face. She began playing music on her iPod dock and folding the comforter to the foot of the bed.

“Wins, I worked a half day, flew for hours, suffered through airport bullshit, and still had to drive to get here. I’m not snapping on you at all, it’s just a relief to finally take my fucking bra off. It’s waaay past time for me to do so.”, Yaa responded. There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?”, Yaa asked. “Bitch, it’s me.”, Erica responded semi-annoyed. Before Yaa could respond, the barn doors slid apart. Her cousins Delonte, Erica, and Whitney practically ran into her room and onto her tall bed just like old times. The trio climbed on the bed ever so awake, as though it wasn’t almost 2AM. “Where’s your man, girl?”, Delonte inquired. Yaa pointed to the bathroom door. Winston had the shower on. “Tay, I really wish you could’ve seen the look on yo momma’s face when Wins broke out in his accent.”, Whitney said holding back laughter. Delonte shook his head, “Bitch, I felt her thirst from the den. You ain’t gotta tell me shit.”, Delonte said in an embarrassed tone, “But enough about my wild ass Rhonda, let’s talk about how Ms. Khalida over here got her groove back. Looks like you got yourself a good one. ESPECIALLY if Marraine asked for him by name.” Yaa’s other cousins turned to her looking awaiting her response. Yaa threw a pillow at Delonte, “Shut the fuck up.” A beat. “Nah, but for real, he’s an amazing guy. He’s sweet,observant, cultured, funny, well-versed, intelligent, and just a good time overall. He done fucked around and softened a thug.”, Yaa failed to keep the grin she had from forming.

The three cousins looked at each other in disbelief. Their super hard, mean, and physical embodient of “Knuck if you buck” cousin was in love. Granted, she felt something for her previous boyfriends, but nothing came close to how Winston made her feel. She was glowing with joy and bliss. She was so enamored with her thoughts that she didn’t realize Winston and more cousins had come in her room. “Ooohhh, our lil triple OG for a cousin done caught feelings.”, her oldest cousin Daniel proclaimed,causing her other cousins to snickered. “Daniel, if you don’t get yo ugly, pea head ass out my goddamn room, nigga. I ain’t that soft. Get the fuck on!”, Yaa barked. Daniel swiftly did as his younger cousin told him.

Everyone conversed for another hour until Yaa kicked them out. Winston and Yaa were finally alone and cuddling each other to sleep. Yaa was almost there until Winston began striking up another conversation.

“Pumpkin?”, Winston called softly.

“Why aren’t you sleep?”, Yaa replied half-sleep and slightly irritated. Her back faced Winston’s face.

“Aren’t you worried about what your grandmother said this evening?”

Her eyes flew open. “I mean,yes and no.”

“Explain.”

“Nigga it is...3:54 in the goddamn morning and you asking me shit like it’s 4PM? This ain’t Oprah.” A beat and and drawn out sigh. “Look, I don’t think anyone wants to break up a great relationship. It concerns me like I’m sure it does you, but you gotta trust the process. Carrie and even her and my Rainy. However, unlike them…” she finally turned around gazing into Winston’s eyes, “...we had this detected early. I’d rather the plane’s malfunctions be detected before take-off and assessed on the ground than while we’re 10,000 plus feet in the air. But like she said, our bond as friends will help us along with other signs. I don’t want to let go either because I just got a hold to you.” They both snickered. “But I have to come to grips with the fact that this is going to help us. You gotta fight for who and what you believe in.”

Winston pondered on her words. He loved that she always knew what to say and how to say it.

“Well until you said it like that, I--”

“--You get it! Now goodnight.” She kissed his nose and placed his arms around her waist before she turned around and went to sleep.

Thanksgiving Day

“...and it is in this that we all say asé.”, Rainey prayed. The family responded back with scattered “asé’s” around the dining rooms. It was finally time to eat. After Rainey gave thanks to the ancestors through libations and prayer, everyone practically ran into the kitchen for the food. A handful of family members grabbed the various dishes and brought them to the main dining room.

The silence of the room was interrupted by the consistent and almost rhythmic clinking of silverware to the plates. Winston occasionally moaned in pleasure for his newfound love of Cajun-style fried turkey and fried catfish. The family laughed as their newest addition’s initiation was off to a great start.

Waiting to reach a reasonable pause, Rainey finally struck conversation. “Keedy, have you heard anything from your dissertation committee? It’s almost graduation time, you know?”, everyone at the table looked to Yaa for her answer,Winston included. “Yeah, babe. Who was that you were on the phone with on our way back from the orchard? Dr. Stoudemire,I think?”, Winston said coaxing her eyes to meet his.

She took a nice sip of wine and finally met his gaze. She crept one of her hands into both of his large,slender chocolate hands. You can do this, sis. She finally opened her mouth to speak, “Yeah. That was her and I’m sorry…”, her voice trailed off as she choked on her words, now softer than Janet Jackson in a confessional. The family looked to her to finish her sentence. “Pumpkin, what are you sorry for? Talk to me.”, Winston whispered.

“I-I’m sorry that...you all...uh...are gonna have to ask ‘which one?’ everytime you hear Dr. Abdullah because it’s now three of us at the table.”, Yaa said tried to contain her laughter. A natural-born actress. Despite the groans of those who were suckered into her act, almost everyone else celebrated the newest doctor at the table. Yaa hugged Winston’s neck as he whispered, “You play all day.”, into her ear.

“So that’s it? That’s all you had to say? So much for the surprise failure from Little Miss Perfect.”, Aunt Rhonda groaned. The table chatter quickly subsided as everyone else at the table looked at Aunt Rhonda, Yaa, and Carrie. Yaa’s aunts and uncles shook their heads as they knew Carrie, their niece, or a mix of two were about to cut the fuck up. “Ma, please don’t do this today...or ever. Just be happy for Keedy.”, Delonte pleaded. “Nah, fuck that. She always doin’ shit and never falling. Perfect life, perfect career, Hell, she even got the perfect man. Knowing her, he’s prolly not even really her boyfriend. How you go from that trash ass Quincy to Winston without missing a beat? What was the prayer,Dr. Keedy?”, Rhonda spat with such vitriol and sarcasm.

Yaa continued eating her shrimp etouffee and sipping the last of her wine as her aunt vented her frustrations at her. Yaa waited patiently for her to end.

“Well, Rhonda, since you want to act like a fucking child, I’m going to address as such. I’m human, so I’m not perfect, and you should have more common sense to understand that. Second, I don’t understand why you’ve had a problem with me since 2011. Now,I’ve allowed you to hurl all of your verbal punches at me for this long, and now tonight is the night.”, Yaa pointed her fork across the table towards Rhonda, “Woman to child: stop it. Grow the fuck up. As for us in this family, we don’t acknowledge that bastard’s name or presence. You understand me? In closing, as for my Winston, he is mine. Period. The prayer? I saw Uncle Wes’s new boyfriend and I said to the ancestors, ‘I see what y’all are doing for Unc, and I just ask that y’all slide me the same.’ Someone pass me the Pinot noir.”

Everyone covered their mouths in disbelief. Leave it to Aunt Janice to summarize the thoughts of the room. She,too, poured herself a glass of Rosé as she said, “Rhonda, we tried to warn you. That gal is Momma in a younger body. You knew better to touch the hot stove and now you burned yourself. Do what Tay said and just be happy for the baby. She done worked hard to get this doctorate a whole semester early.” In fairness, if Rhonda was going to bring up Quincy, then by the laws of pettiness, Yaa was obligated to bring up Rhonda’s ex-husband and Delonte’s dad Uncle Wes, who came out earlier in the year.

Khalida excused herself from the table and ran upstairs to her room, Winston trailing behind her after giving a fifteen-minute head start. Knock, knock. “I wanna be left alone.”, she said choking on her words. “It’s me, Pumpkin. We can talk through this locked door if that’s what you prefer. I just wanna see if you’re ok.”, Winston said loud enough for her to hear through the door. A few moments passed before Winston the unlocking of the doors. He walked in and walked onto the balcony where she had just finished rolling up. “I’m sorry about what happened back there, Pumpkin.”, he began, “I just came up here to make sure you were ok.” He pulled a loc out of her face and cautiously wiped the cold stray tears from her eyes. She kept her silence as she continued to cry and smoke her blunt. “There’s nothing you should be apologizing for, baby love.”, she spoke barely above a whisper and sniffled. Pulling the last of her blunt, she walked into the warmth of her room, motioning for him to follow suit. Eyes low, she looked into his concerned eyes and smiled. “I should be the one apologizing. I came out of myself in front of the whole family and you.” Winston shook his head no. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her light brown locs. They held each other for what seemed like eternity. “You know, the family was expressing their shock for your read down there. They weren’t ready for that.”, Winston chuckled. Khalida answered, “Well,shit. Wait till I tell them I’m going with you to Tobago for Carnival instead of Mardi Gras next year.”

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Smackdown Power Rankings: McIntyre Spoils the Party

Smackdown Power Rankings: McIntyre Spoils the Party

Check out this week’s Smackdown Power Rankings to see how the Blue Brand prepared for Clash at the Castle. Honorable Mention: Hit Row: Top Dolla, B-Fab and Ashantee The Adonis are moving up the card. 5: The Viking Raiders: Erik and Ivar continue to dominate The New Day. 4: Rhonda Rousey: The WWE has made her the badass she should have been all along. 3: Karrion Kross: Finally, the Kross and…