#honeygirl
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thenoodlesadventures · 4 months ago
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Crimbo pics!! Forgot to post these lol but also our tree is still up so it's still the season in our house 😆
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anais-mirliaz · 1 year ago
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Might I offer you some Baerith in these trying times ?
[Ko-Fi]
[get this baerith as a print]
[commission infos]
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from-your-lips · 1 year ago
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@through-my-rosecolored-glasses
Hearing a girl moan “right there”
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stingslikeabee · 3 months ago
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Me constantly appreciating @saishuu-heiki for indulging Melissa's motherly feels but also accidentally triggering this nightmare fuel:
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thelegendaryboy · 1 year ago
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Sooooo
What do you know about glamour and camp?…
💎✨💎
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yall im such a goshdarn sap
i just helped my gf search the gender wiki for the perfect one and he really likes luneboy, and because im an old fashioned gentleman of a husband and i want to support him in everything, im trying to find luneboy resources to support my husband and show him theres other people like him he doesnt have tumblr so this is our little secret <; if anyone knows of any luneboy stuff around the interwebs pls let me know <3
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fanfics-i-find-here · 2 months ago
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Do I Know You? Part 13
Synopsis: You're having a girl's night with Steph and Cass, whether you want to or not.
Note: I enjoyed writing this chapter. It’s kind of a change of pace from what’s going on I think. And of course, a moment away from Jason (with deep regrets). Enjoy!!
Masterlist
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With Jason out the door and said door locked, you sag against it with a labored sigh. You slide down until you’re sitting on the ground, and you take a moment.  You rub at your face. Part of you wants to open the door and tell Jason to come back, to stay with you forever and never leave. But you just can’t do that to him. Yesterday, he looked utterly exhausted, like he hadn’t slept once he brought you home and you almost told him to leave then. Instead, you let yourself relax in the safety of his touch and asked him to stay longer.  He looked better this morning, both when he was asleep and awake. He still looked sleepy in his rumpled clothes and a start of a scruff showing on his skin. Sleepy but not exhausted. You still felt guilty about him sleeping in the same clothes two nights in a row. You would be a bad friend if you made him stay any longer. Shuffling him out the door, you realized he didn’t even have a coat, despite for the moment that you thought Red Hood’s was his, the same that he had let you borrow many weeks ago. The Jar that you had placed in the corner of your mind, and nearly forgotten about, rattled a little. You didn’t have the energy to deal with it and blamed it on the still persistent headache you had.
Now, sitting on the ground, your headache was finally starting to dim, thanks to the pain meds Jason had you take. You became aware of the silence of your home, starting a creeping, anxious feeling in your chest. That wouldn’t do. You pull yourself to stand and start up your speaker to play some music. You were going to spot-clean your apartment, but Jason had already taken care of it. A shower it was then. You took a decent amount of time just untangling your hair, no conditioner and no brushing for two days had taken its toll. You took a painstakingly slow shower. Despite the pain meds, your back ached as you lifted your arms to wash your hair. You had to pause multiple times just to breathe normally. The conditioner followed the same slow process. You sat in the stream of warm water and tried to relax. You realized the warmth of the shower couldn’t match the heat of Jason’s body and choose not to think about that for too long. Two hours later, dressed in clean, not-so-matching pajamas (you had laughed once you noticed Jason had pulled a matching pair from the bottom of your drawer), you settle on the couch giving your body a break and mouthing along to the words of whatever song was playing.
You didn’t play your music too loud, trying to be a good neighbor, but you nearly missed the knocking on your door. It’s a quiet thing at first and you brush it off as something your mind made up (you wonder if you should text Jason to come back because your brain has already started hallucinating noises). The second round of knocks is a lot louder and it causes your shoulders to bunch up in worry. You turn on your couch to stare at the door, trying to will whoever it was to go away. Another, harder, round of knocking pulls you from your seat and to the door. You peek through the peephole into the hallway. You see curly blonde hair and then a warped face with green eyes. It takes you a minute to recognize who it is but once you do you unlock the door and open it.
“Steph?” you question, now face to face with the girl. She wastes no time working herself into your apartment with a grin.
“Hello, Honeygirl. I’ve missed you.” She’s carrying a number of bags and boxes. A lean figure with a mop of black hair follows her into your apartment carrying nearly the same amount of stuff. The items are set haphazardly on the ground, the island, and the dining table. Steph starts unpacking an ungodly number of snacks, skincare, movies, and games.
“What are you doing here?” you ask.
“Well,…” Steph goes on a rant about how you were gone and she had to listen to gossip from Darla and that, while it was entertaining, she wasn’t you. So, she decided why wait for you to come to work when you can hang out elsewhere? Which is all well and good, except you had never told Steph where you lived.
“…and I brought enough face masks to last a lifetime, also I brought Cass,” your mouth shuts from where you were going to interject yourself into her ramble. Your eyes meet brown instead of the blue you had expected. In all honesty, you thought Steph had brought Tim with her.
“Cass?” the girl grins at you and you're pulled into a stronger hug than you anticipated from her.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Her voice is soft and calming compared to Steph’s frazzled state. Speaking of Steph, she was still ranting, something about if a card game is turned into dice is it still a card game?
As you pull away from Cass, she’s still smiling at you with excitement but you’re not sure why.
“Stephanie.” You say. Steph had never told you her full name, but you can only assume. She pauses in her ranting and unpacking and turns on you with a pout. She takes a few steps forward and drags you into her own hug, petting at your hair like you’re an inconsolable child.
“No, no, honey, you don’t call me Stephanie, only Steph.” You wrangle your way out of her hold with a laugh and finally shut your door, locking it again.
“Stephanie,” she opens her mouth to protest but you beat her to it, “What are you doing in my apartment?”
Steph gaps at you for a moment, trying to collect an answer but Cass answers for her.
“Jason” Steph throws her a warning look that Cass is unbothered by. She picks up the unpacking where Steph left off.
“What she means is,” Steph adds slowly, “Jason told us that you were involved in the whole penguin thing that’s on the news.” Steph’s face cringes as she offers the answer. Your brows furrow. Jason doesn’t really gossip, and you can’t imagine him just spouting out personal information about you. But then you remember. Steph is practically family. Your mind makes a connection, that Cass is most likely the sister that Jason mentioned once or twice. You understand oversharing with family. You used to tell your sister everything under the sun. You want to feel mad at Jason, but you aren’t. At least not yet.
“How’d you know where I live?” Steph seems startled and you get the feeling she had not prepared for any conversation referring to her and Cass’s sudden appearance in your home.
“Tracking,” Cass throws over her shoulder as she shuffles through the kitchen and turns on your oven. You think you should be concerned about Jason’s sister, who is apparently cooking something in your home, but your eyes are focused on Steph for an explanation, as Cass seems a woman of few words. Steph glares at Cass before meeting your eyes with a calmer look.
“Family tracking app. Jason’s been here for two days.” Steph explains and she seems proud of herself, but you cut it short.
“And how do you know my apartment number?” Steph sags again and Cass hops back into the conversation, now adding premade cookie dough balls to a cookie sheet. Again, you think you should be concerned that she’s already made herself at home but part of you is pleased that Jason’s sister seems comfortable doing what she wants in your apartment.
“Barbara.” She says. Steph lightens up.
“Barbara?” you ask having not heard the name before.
“Yes, Barbara,” Steph declares, “She’s the commissioner's daughter.” Steph’s eyes jump to the dining table where the stack of papers the commissioner dropped off were. “He was here, so we asked Babs to get the address from him.” You think Steph is bullshitting you. Actually, you know Steph is bullshitting you. You can’t imagine the commissioner just giving out addresses to his daughter if she asked, especially on active cases. You recognize the name Babs more than the name Barbara, but you don’t remember why. You throw all of this information to the back of your mind and decide this is all Jason’s doing. You could tell how much he didn’t want to leave you alone and you appreciated the persistence, grateful to him again for reading how much you needed people around you.
“Okay,” you finally say. Steph seems shocked for a moment before relaxing.
“Okay?” her voice pitches in question and it makes you smile.
“Yea, okay, I’m happy you’re here. I’m happy you're both here.” You throw a glance at Cass to see her already smiling softly at you. You wonder how much she knows about you, whether the information she received is from Jason or Steph, and whether or not it's good or bad. Steph hops on her feet wildly.
“Good, because I did not want to return this stuff. I may have bought too much.” She notes scanning the bags.
“No kidding, what did you bring?” you take a step forward to look through one of the bags.
“Everything you need for the best girls' night ever!” she begins unpacking the rest of the stuff explaining as she went. You glanced at Cass, perhaps as an explanation for Steph's over-preparedness. She just shrugs and brings her hand up to make a talking motion before helping unpack. The motion makes you laugh and Steph glances at you but keeps going.
Enough face masks to last a lifetime was an understatement. Between those, the ice cream, the cookies, and all the other snacks, you think all three of you could stay in your apartment for years and live off all of the skincare and sugary food. The line between self-care and self-destruction is nonexistent. Pizza was also ordered just to make sure you all got the carbs you need.  The evening went off without a hitch.  You played all kinds of games and you figured out why Steph had her question about a card game being a dice game. She had found a version of Phase 10 as dice instead of cards, you all just decided it made for a quicker game.
Through the course of the night, you come to understand that Jason and Cass were definitely siblings. She reminded you of him, or at least the way he’d been acting since he picked you up at the stupid warehouse. She touched you in a way that felt like constant comfort. A hand on your arm or shoulders pressed to yours, holding your hand in tense moments of a game. You were a little surprised by it, not expecting the girl you had just met to provide such comfort. Steph was touchy too, but you already knew that about the girl. She was more rambunctious about it. A quick second hug when she would win, a tug at your hand to drag you wherever she pleased in your apartment. It made you laugh at how different Cass and Steph were but they balanced each other out wonderfully. You also learned some new things about the girls. They were super competitive
They had shoved the coffee table against the wall to have a game of Twister. You explained that your back was hurt but you would happily spin the wheel and watch. They crowded you, asking when the last time you took a pain med and if you had been drinking water and something about pineapple. You were confused (especially about the pineapple thing) but happily answered. They shuffled you into the kitchen and medicated and watered you. You laughed at them. You felt like you were being babied. It didn’t upset you, but it made you realize that Jason had also been babying you the past two days, just more subtle than the girls. You think you like being cared about in such a manner. Once medicated, they settled you on the couch and prepared for Twister. They had a really intense stare-off before your first spin. Ten minutes into Twister, you learn that they are both extremely flexible. Cass more so than Steph but both would have beat you in the game easily. As time went on you became increasingly worried about the way their bodies would bend until Steph finally collapsed with a huff. Cass easily pulls herself out of the warp of her body and stands victoriously.
“You guys insane,” you say tossing the spinner to the side, “The human body shouldn’t move like that.” They both smile at you, Steph less gleeful than Cass.
“You should see when we play with the whole family. Cass and Dick are always the last standing. The true victor is unknown because we usually cancel the game to do something else.” Steph tells you from her seat on the floor.
“Dick?” you question, feeling odd saying the word to the girls.
“Yea, Dick. He’s an acrobat, that’s hardly an even playing field.” Steph huffs clearly missing your question. Cass sits next to you on the couch and actually answers your question.
“Brother. Richard but we call him Dick.”
“Oh” you nod in understanding and realize now would be a perfect time to be nosey.
“And the rest of your brothers?” you try to casually slip it into the conversation. Meeting Cass’s eye you think she can read you pretty easily. Steph begins to roll up the Twister mat as Cass smiles and answers you. She brings her hand up to count on her fingers.
“Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Duke.”
“and of course the others like me” Steph does a jazz hand after she plops the mat in the corner of the room. She walks past you both and into the kitchen. You want to ask about that too, the “honorary siblings” Jason had mentioned, but you’ll come back to that later.
“Dick, Damian, and Duke? Did your guys' mom go through a phase of loving D names? Also insane to have that many kids. Are you close in age?” Cass’s eyes wrinkle in confusion from your questioning.  She answers your second question.
“Mostly,” she says, making you want to ask another question, but Steph returns with headbands and face mask packets. She works a headband over your head as she talks and you let her.
“Everyone is around the same age. Jason and Cass are about the same age, then there's me.” She cups her own face like she’s presenting herself before pulling out face masks for you to choose from, “Tim is like a few months younger than me and Duke’s almost a year younger than Tim. Dick is just super old and Damian is super young but he was a surprise so I don’t think I should hold against him, but I will.” Steph rants as she pulls your chosen sheet mask out and presses it to your face. By surprise, you assume an unexpected pregnancy and with that many kids, you can't imagine that surprise.
“Are any of the others unexpected?” you ask as Steph starts putting a mask on Cass. Cass gives you another confused side glance.
“I'm pretty sure Bruce did not expect Dick, and he definitely wasn’t expecting Tim, but he has a way of getting into people's business.” She pauses a second, “You know everyone was unexpected, except maybe Jason.” Bruce. There's that name again. It's complicated, Jason had said.
“Whose Bruce?” They both look at you confused now.
“What?” you start to become self-conscious for a moment before it passes.
“Jason hasn’t talked to you?” Cass asked, less confused and more like she was worried about you.
“We tend to steer clear of family talk.” You admit, feeling guilty. Steph nods, a look of understanding on her features.
“That makes sense for him.” She doesn’t pester you about it, Cass’s hand curls around your own and you’re once again shocked by how the girl has become so comforting in such a short time.
“Bruce is Dad,” Cass states with an earnest look.
“Oh, why does-” you pause unsure if this is a conversation you should have with them or with Jason, “Why does Jason call him Bruce then?”
They both look at you with realization in their eyes, which was kind of funny considering the face mask.
“Jason is adopted,” Steph says slowly, “So is Cass and Tim.”
“Oh,” you begin to erase everything you had concluded about the family and feel dumb for a moment. Jason had told you Bruce wanted to adopt Steph. You kick yourself for not using more context clues.
“and the others?” you ask trying to reassess everything you learned in the last ten minutes.
“Everyone is adopted” Steph confirms
“Except Damian,” Cass adds.
“Oh yea. He’s actually Bruce’s I forget that sometimes. He doesn’t even call Bruce Dad though.”
“His biological son calls him Bruce?” Steph looks at you with a conspiring grin, like this was some hilarious knowledge.
“He doesn’t call him Bruce, he calls him Father” Her voice pitches into a hoity-toity accent, “Like some child dying of the plague.” You laugh both at the description and the voice, your curiosity continues to peek about Jason’s family.
“Enough family business,” Stephs makes a shooing motion with her hand, “Let’s watch something.”
You want to ask more but the girls move to putting your living back into its original state and search for something to watch. You head to the kitchen to collect ice cream and cookies. You spot your phone on the counter and pick it up to check for messages. You have one from Darla and another from Jason. You open the one from Darla and find yourself grateful for opening it away from the girls.
Darla: How’s your sexcation going? Hope that boyfriend of yours is treating you right.
You flush reading the message and glance at the girls sitting on the floor debating the movie.  Clearly, Jason hadn’t given her any details when he called you out from work.
You: It’s not a “sexcation”  I’m recovering from trauma
You mean it only slightly joking. She answers almost instantly.
D: I’m sure that dick is traumatic.
 Your entire body warms over in embarrassment. She must not be at work. While Darla was mild-mannered and gossipy at work, off the clock she could be downright crass. Time for some honesty.
Y: I’m serious
Is all you send, hoping she would understand. You don’t want to have this conversation over text.
D: What’d he do to you? Do I need to call the cops?
You sigh in relief that she finally understands.
Y: Cops have already dealt with it He picked me up and he’s been taking care of me
D: Are you okay? Do you need anything? You should have called me.
You’re glad to know that she’s worried about you but you're not ready to admit that, at the time, Jason was the only person you could think of.
Y: I’m okay I’ll let you know if I need anything and I will fill you in when I come back to work
D: Okay, sweet thing. You call me if something else happens. Take it easy.
A different warmth overtakes your body, one of gratitude. You swipe out of her message and open Jason’s. You roll your eyes the moment you see it.
Jason: How are you feeling?
You ignore the question for your own.
Y: You're adopted?
He answers you in the time it takes for you to pull the ice cream from the freezer
J: Yea?
Y: I can’t believe you never told me!!!
J: Sweetheart
The one-word response makes your tummy roll and you can practically hear the chide in his voice without him being there.
Y: It explains so much about you
J: What’s that supposed to mean?
Y: Lol
You turn your phone off and perform an amazing balance act as you carry three spoons, your phone, two tubs of ice cream, and the plate of cookies into the living room (thank you practice as a waitress). You set the ice cream on the coffee table along with the spoons. You plop onto the couch between the girls, phone dropping to your lap, plate of cookies in hand.
“Is everything okay?” Steph asks as you settle.
“Yea, why?” she points to the phone in your lap. She must have seen you in the kitchen.
“Just people checking in” you add. A mischievous look slowly lights up her features.
“It wouldn’t happen to be a certain dark-haired boy, would it?” You turn slightly to face her, back to Cass, ready to argue when you're cut short by your phone ringing. You pick it up from your lap, and a photo of you and Jason meets your eyes. It was his contact photo, one of the few photos you had of him. You had taken the selfie when he had taken you to see the sunrise. It had been freezing, both of you wrapped to high heaven in beanies, scarves, and jackets. He had brought a blanket for you and wrapped it around your head and shoulders. You almost looked like a homeless person, but you had squeezed together for warmth. You had excitedly taken the picture, the orange of the sunrise lighting up your faces perfectly. Jason had actually smiled. It was your favorite.
If you had been looking up, you would have noticed Cass and Steph share a scheming look. Cass’s arms wrap around your shoulders, trapping your arms to your side. You had assumed she was just hugging you but then your phone is pulled from your hand. You reach for it but are halted by Cass’s hold, once again surprised by the strength of the girl. Steph looks far too giddy with your phone as she answers.
“Hello, Loverboy.”
“Stephanie!” you screech, trying to pull free from Cass with no luck (a choked panic attempts to claw its way into your chest, and you actively remind yourself that it’s just Cass). You hear a voice through the speaker but it's too low for you to understand what he’s saying to her.
“You worry too much. We’re just talking about you is all. It’s fine.” More talking comes from the phone and Steph throws you a get a load of this guy look. You huff as you still trying to wiggle free of Cass. You don’t think the girl is even struggling.
“It’s girls’ night that means no boys. Worry somewhere else” Your foot finally comes up and you kick the phone from her ear. She gawks at you in disbelief. You can feel Cass laughing as she finally releases you.
“I can't believe you two teamed up against me, " you complain as you pick your phone up from the ground. The call had ended, but you dared not call back in fear of the girls stealing your phone again. You do shoot him a quick text in apology before shoving your phone under your thigh.
“we’re just trying to hurry things along,” Cass says. She has a meaningful look in her eyes when you look at her, but you don’t understand it or the statement. You open your mouth to ask what exactly they’re hurrying along, but Steph cuts in before you can.
“Forget boys, it's movie and sugar time! Our ice cream will melt everywhere if we don’t eat it soon.” You eye the condensation that has started pooling around the containers and agree. You have questions you want to ask them, mostly about Jason, but you decide maybe for another time.
You settle back against the couch between them, a pile of blankets across the three of you. As the movie plays, the ice cream and cookies are passed around. Halfway through, a drowsiness overtakes. You feel pleasantly warm emotionally and physically. It's different than when Jason held you at night. This warmth makes you think of your sister. On the odd evenings, you were getting along and you would build a fort in your family living room and camp out on a Friday night. It was a feeling you didn’t realize you missed. A tender ache of grief that you're all too familiar with blooms in your chest but damps when you feel Steph settle her head on your shoulder and Cass turn to rest her head in your lap. You decide very quickly that you feel extremely fond of these two girls who have been in your life for a very short time.
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Additional Note: Cass is really trying to hit that fast-forward button and Steph is trying to hold her back. I hope that I have a decent characterization of the girls. From the tidbits that I do know about them, they are very fascinating. We will have one more chapter with girls and then we will have our boy back. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think!
Tag List: @little-miss-naill, @nikilolo787, @joonunivrs, @uzxotic, @qardasngan, @stormz369,  @g4bbi3xx, @iwatobiswimbros, @the-lonely-flute, @elz-xo, @gone-batty-fics, @princessesgarden, @notfckincreative, @love-theangel, @feyres-fireheart, @penguimlover23, @herodedicatedblog, @dearghostling
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sovonight · 12 days ago
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knit maxi dress, done!!
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pattern: honeygirl dress. i got it because it looked like an approachable intro to knits, and it has a d-cup option so i was optimistic it would fit well. i maybe should've started with a simple tee instead of literally the one pattern that uses up the most fabric possible, but my heart was set on the maxi dress
fabric: cotton pointelle, as recommended by the pattern. unfortunately, my machine just loved to chew this stuff up. i ended up using two layers of tissue paper as stabilizer for every tricky seam--it was a pain to pick out afterwards, but much less of a pain than unpicking wonky stitches
mods: i scaled up two sizes at the hips, because i really hate it when knit dresses cling to my stomach and wanted it to fall freely. i probably could've adjusted the center back to eliminate some bunching there, but it's minor and it's something i would have needed to do before even cutting the fabric out
hem: i went with a lettuce hem, and used a wider zigzag than the instructions suggested so that i could use an edge stitch foot to help guide the fabric. i was a little worried about how it would hold up in the wash, but i washed the dress yesterday and it came out intact, so all seems good👍
overall: it was tedious to sew on my machine, but i figured out my workarounds, and after finishing the dress i even went back in and made a matching pair of arm warmers (visible in the first pic), which says a lot. (i do think the dress looks best without arm warmers, but flared sleeves always leave my wrists cold when i'm outside, so i like having them as an accessory option). anyway, i'm happy with how everything turned out! it's comfy to wear, and i honestly could just wear this around the house as a nightgown or something
would i wear this outside?: yes, finally, i would wear this outside. it's literally so normal and mundane. i'll probably have to wait until fall though, it's like 70 degrees outside
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from-your-lips · 10 months ago
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@through-my-rosecolored-glasses
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'The Conspiracy' by Gavyn Dylan
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thenoodlesadventures · 9 months ago
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I just finished baby's first custom martingale and she's so cute 🥺😭
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anais-mirliaz · 11 months ago
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the special boy gets special treatment. what of it
[Ko-Fi]
[commission infos]
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secondarysefikura · 1 month ago
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I was about to fall asleep in class when an image of Sefikura in the Honey Bee Girls’ outfits randomly popped into my mind. It was only there for a brief second but it shook me wide awake. As of now, I still can’t get that image out of my head.
I’m just thinking of a slightly bizarre AU where instead of meeting the way they do in canon, Cloud and Sephiroth become Honeygirls (or are they considered Honeyboys?) and fall in love. This has potential for crack and humour or it could explore darker themes if one feels like it.
Sephiroth quits his job at Shinra (assuming he'd even be able to do that. More realistically he fakes his death) and starts anew. Except he doesn't really have a ton of life skills besides fighting so he goes to work at the Honeybee Inn. He flips between dressing as a Honeyboy and dressing as a Honeygirl, depending on where he is needed.
Cloud is Andrea's star performer. He trains Sephiroth on how to be a good dancer and entertain the guests. At first, Sephiroth thinks Cloud is a woman with a deeper voice since he has only ever seen Cloud wearing a dress, makeup, and hair extensions. But then one day he sees Cloud (in casual clothes) helping Andera with some papers during the day and he's totally smitten with this mystery man.
Sephiroth: Hello, I don't believe we've met.
Cloud: Haha, very funny.
Sephiroth: Oh, your voice sounds familiar...
Cloud: Do you seriously not recognize me?
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rottenpumpkin13 · 8 months ago
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Between Reno, and Genesis. Who has a better sex life or at least "gets the most action/dates"?
Both are comfortable with their sexuality and don’t shy away from casual dating or pleasure-seeking—though Genesis is a huge romantic. Gen isn’t as promiscuous as the public believes, which bothers him a lot. Nowadays he prefers to develop a bond with someone before dating or engaging, unlike his reckless teenage years and early First Class days when he explored all that fame and admiration had to offer. The amount of action he gets is the amount he wants , which varies based on how he’s feeling.
Reno learned to detatch emotions from dating and sex because of his job, since being a Turk often requires manipulation on his part and those things come with it. He doesn't have the luxury of picking up just anyone—which also comes with the nature of the job—but he doesn't shy away from it. To him sex is just sex. He has his set hookups and the honeygirls he likes, and that's it. The amount he gets is also the amount he wants, he just needs more sometimes.
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pulpsandcomics2 · 2 months ago
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Hellcats & Honeygirls
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fluoxetinehcl · 19 days ago
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[Rufus x OC]
A Honeygirl and her flower 😂
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makomoogle7 · 2 months ago
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Cloud/Roche fic: "Colors Without Names"
- Excerpt from a work in progress -
(For @ffviirarepairweek 2025, Day 7: Arts.)
Excerpt rating: Teen (for language and innuendo)
Premise of WIP: Cloud is only performing at the Honey Bee Inn tonight as part of his plan to infiltrate Don Corneo’s mansion and save Tifa. Cloud’s too worried about Tifa to enjoy himself (not that he’d enjoy any of this under other circumstances, either).
But then Cloud spots Roche in the audience. Roche is watching Cloud intently… and sketching in a sketchbook? Cloud’s night is about to take a colorful detour—a detour that could change his life.
Excerpt (1,093 words):
The lights above the stage are blinding, and whoever is controlling the damn spotlight has a real talent for angling it right at Cloud’s eyes. Cloud is sitting in a chair on the stage of the Honey Bee Inn as a honeyboy applies makeup to Cloud’s lips.
“You were born for this,” the honeyboy says, smiling.
Ugh. Cloud’s so ready to be done with Wall Market.
The spotlight shifts away from Cloud’s face, and Cloud blinks rapidly to try to get his sight back. Echoes of colors and shapes float through Cloud’s vision as his eyes recover from being overwhelmed by the spotlight.
But then Andrea Rodea takes Cloud by the hand and pulls Cloud out of the chair.
“Woo-hoo!” Aerith calls from the audience. “Get it, Cloud!”
Cloud tries to glare at her, but then Andrea suddenly draws Cloud closer, getting Cloud off balance.
“You have a fan,” Andrea says in Cloud’s ear.
Yeah, Aerith definitely seems to like what she sees, judging by the constant catcalls from her.
“I mean the gentleman in the SOLDIER uniform,” Andrea says, a laugh in his voice. “At the table next to your friend’s.”
Cloud’s gaze shifts and—
Oh, fuck.
It’s that dumbass from the Sector 7-6 Annex. Roche. He’s not even looking at Cloud, though. He’s looking down at something. A sketchbook? Is he drawing Cloud?
Suddenly, Roche’s eyes meet Cloud’s own.
Cloud expects a wink or a smirk or some other sign that Cloud’s being mocked, but instead Roche just frowns slightly and gets back to his drawing.
Whatever Roche’s agenda is, Cloud has to get out of here. He has to get Aerith to safety. Shinra’s after the both of them (although he’s still not clear on what Shinra wants with Aerith), and Cloud can’t afford to get sidetracked from tonight’s mission to rescue Tifa. The last thing he wants is to waste time on yet another duel with this asshole.
“Don Corneo won’t want to see tonight’s bride candidates for another few hours,” Andrea says. “I’ll set you up in one of our rooms in the meantime so that you can wait in privacy.”
“Thanks,” Cloud says. He’s glad he won’t have to deal with hours of public scrutiny. And it’ll be good to have someplace to stay out of Roche’s sight.
Andrea smiles. “You’re very welcome.”
---
After the performance, a honeygirl escorts Cloud and Aerith to their rooms. Rooms—plural.
“No. We shouldn’t split up,” Cloud says as the honeygirl gestures for Aerith and Cloud to enter two rooms across the hall from each other (she gestures for Aerith to take the room on the left side and for Cloud to take the room on the right side).
“You mean you want to share a room with me?” Aerith says. “You know what kind of place this is, right?”
Cloud scowls. “Yeah, I do. And that’s exactly my point. You shouldn’t be alone here.”
The door to Aerith’s room opens. Madame M saunters out. “She won’t be alone. I’m not satisfied with her dress. I’ve brought my tailor to make adjustments. Don’t tell me you want to join us for the show?”
Cloud’s ears heat up. “No, I—”
“Good,” Madame M says, grabbing Aerith’s hand and pulling her into the room. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay in that room of yours until you’re summoned.”
“You okay?” Cloud says to Aerith.
But Aerith isn’t listening to him. She’s already chatting up the person who Cloud assumes must be Madame M’s tailor.
“Don’t worry your pretty head about us,” Madame M says. “You have enough on your plate already.”
What?
The door to Madame M and Aerith’s room slams shut.
“Your room, sir,” the honeygirl says, once again gesturing for Cloud to enter the room on the right.
“Yeah, thanks,” Cloud mumbles.
The door closes quietly behind him. The room is pretty big and surprisingly nice, even if it’s still an unmistakably Wall Market-esque aesthetic: the duvet on the large bed is black, the pillows are a deep purple, and there are red lanterns hanging from the ceiling.
There’s a knock at the door.
Cloud stiffens and readies his sword. It could be anyone on the other side of that door.
Cloud cracks the door open.
…It’s Roche. He’s holding a sketchbook and a bouquet of colorful flowers.
Cloud shuts the door in Roche’s face.
“I come in peace, my friend,” says Roche from the other side of the door.
“Go away,” Cloud says.
“Am I interrupting something?” Roche says. “I hadn’t realized you already had company, although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re very fetching in that dress.”
This guy is such a pain.
“Go away,” Cloud repeats.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Roche says. “I can help you. I’ve heard a little rumor that you and your friend are trying to gain access to the infamous scoundrel Don Corneo. I assume you’re hoping that one of you will be chosen as tonight’s bride. But I regret to inform you that you’re not likely to even be invited into the building if you can’t play your part more convincingly. Your body language is all wrong. Let me offer you some pointers.”
“What, you like to dress up and seduce mafia bosses in your spare time?” Cloud says.
“I’ve been sent on more than a few honeypot missions involving corsets and high heels, yes,” Roche says. “Such missions aren’t my favorite, honestly—the clothing is wonderful but the men are such bores—but I’m told I’m very, very good at them.”
Cloud tries and fails to imagine Roche in a dress, seducing some rich guy. “I don’t buy it.”
“Yes, well, I don’t buy you as a coquettish mafia bride, either, my dear,” Roche says. “And neither will Don Corneo or his men. I assume you have a very good reason for wanting to gain access to Don Corneo’s mansion tonight. If you want to succeed, you’ll let me help you. Are you sure you want me to leave?”
Cloud opens his mouth to say, “Yeah, I want you to fuck off, thanks,” but he hesitates. He needs to succeed tonight. He needs to get into that mansion, get Tifa, and get out. And the only way to do that without facing down an army of mafia goons is to play the part of mafia bride convincingly. And it’s true that Cloud has absolutely no idea how to do that.
…Damnit.
Cloud opens the door. “Fine,” he says. “Get in here.”
Roche grins. “I thought you’d never ask.”
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