#honestly. if I hadn't put so much work into it already. I'd just eat the 10% off my grade.

[kittlyns]

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

[doctor-bus]

not me doing the worst fucking job on an assignment for a strict professor lmao

[berryz-writes]

Faking it

(part 1)

Mattheo x reader

Summary: You and Mattheo pretend to date because your parents won't stop pestering you and girls won't stop falling over themselves to get to Mattheo

note: ignore the title its not very.........smart

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Mattheo asked putting his quill down and kicking his legs up onto the desk. History of Magic was the perfect time to sit and chat with your friends and catch up on missed gossip.

I shrugged "It's the ball tomorrow so probably getting lectured by my dear mother" A tradition since I was 12. To nag ask me to bring a date with me to the ball. This year was especially important because I hadn't brought anyone with me last year and my mother was not impressed.

Mattheo rolled his eyes "Please. You've got it easy"

I raised an eyebrow. What was he complaining about? "And what's troubling you so much?"

He sighed dramatically "All I here is everywhere I go is do you have a date for the ball? A guy can't even eat breakfast in peace"

I scoffed. He was always so unnecessarily dramatic.

"Well. Do you?" It's not like I was wanting it to be me, I was just genuinely interested. Curious. Not at all wondering who the girl was and what Matheo's standards and type was.

"Of course I don't. All the girls that come up to me are sluts who want me to take them to my dorm after"

I shrug "At least they have the confidence to ask. You'll be left with no one soon enough"

Mattheo rolled his eyes as if what I was saying was utterly ridiculous "There's always someone. And anyways I could always go with you"

I paused. The voices in the classroom had become a background noise in my mind. I looked at Mattheo, trying to see if he was making a joke out of all this. I could usually tell because of how his lips would always pull into a small smirk but this time he was utterly serious.

"Us two?" I asked. I don't know why I said that. Maybe it was to make sure I had heard him right.

"Yeah. It would get those girls off my back and your parents will probably be happy you've found a good looking guy like me"

I rolled my eyes, trying to act like this wasn't something I was excited about or wanted to do "Someone thinks highly of themselves"

Matheo's eyes had glazed over as if he was in deep thought about something. His hand was tapping his knee in a constant rhythm and his eyebrows were scrunched in concentration. It was quiet cute to watch, honestly.

"Y'know. My idea wasn't so bad."

I raise an eyebrow "Your ideas are always bad. Which one are you talking about this time?"

He moved closer to me so I could hear his quiet voice "Me and you. We could go to the ball together. Pretend to date for a while and then act like it didn't work out between us."

My heart beat's pace increased. Why was it increasing? I'd love to tell you but I didn't know either. Maybe it was the fact that I wouldn't mind getting closer to Mattheo. Or maybe the fact that I knew if I accepted his idea I would be heartbroken by the end of it.

"But once we break up I'm just going to have to find another guy" I tried explaining. I did want to go along with his idea but I didn't want to seem too desperate. Also I don't think my parents saw Mattheo as a great influence.

He rolled his eyes acting as if I was the dumb one "Just pretend your going through an emotional...breakdown or something. And by then you'll be able to find someone you like.  It's not as if anyone would reject you" He said all this with a serious tone, as if he wasn't telling me to keep a lie going to my family but also probably break my heart in the process. I skipped over the last bit of what he said because if I thought of it for too long I would become obsessed with it and that probably wasn't a good idea.

"I'll think about it" I finally decided. I already knew what my answer was but I didn't need his ego to inflate even more...also because I had pride in myself and wasn't about to cave to on of his ideas so quickly.

*a few hours later*

"Why do you ask to play if you know your going to lose?" I asked Theo feeling slightly bad for him at this point. It was our fifth game of cards and he had lost all of them. He rolled his eyes "I'm helping pass time so you should be thanking me" It was just after our last lesson of the day and we were all in the common room or out in the gardens waiting for supper. Luckily exams weren't anywhere close so I could use this time however I wanted.

I smiled slightly at Theo's disgruntled expression "Right"

Handing out the cards again I picked up my pile and spread them out looking for a diamond. I picked out two debating on which one, choosing the nine of diamonds when I heard a slight noise behind me.

"I wouldn't go for that. I've seen Theo's cards and he's going to get you back if you put that nine down" It was Mattheo. He had taken a seat next to me on a stool having seemingly finished the shouting match he was having with Draco a few minutes ago.

I glared at him in annoyance "You've just told Theo what card I have!" Was he being deliberately annoying or did he not know how card games worked?

A slight smirk on his expression told me he was being irritating on purpose "Don't be mad at me darling. It was a mistake" He had gotten closer to me now his proximity too much for me. Luckily Theo caused a commotion by throwing his cards onto the table, me and Mattheo both turning to look at him.

"I'm not playing anymore. I've had enough of losing y/n" He said dramatically, getting up and sticking up his middle finger at Mattheo before leaving. What was wrong with everyone today?

Mattheo let out a sigh "Finally. Have you decided then?" His voice had changed to being serious within seconds, his teasing smile gone.

I knew what he was talking about but all the same I furrowed my brows and acted confused "decided what?" It was his turn to frown as he moved even closer to me "The fake dating thing? Your memory needs fixing sweetheart" He said quietly waiting for my response.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn't look him in the eyes when he said names like that. Would saying yes lead to me having a broken heart and in a lot of trouble if my parents found out? Yes. But was I doing it anyways? Yes.

"My memory doesn't need fixing" I rolled my eyes but continued on "And fine I'll do it"

Mattheo grinned "Fucking finally" He got up and pressed a kiss to my cheek "I'll see you later. If anyone asks tell them your taken" He walked away out of the common room and to who knows where. I lightly touched where he had kissed my cheek. Was this going to be normal now? Him just kissing me any time of day? Not that I minded.

I looked around the common room to see a few girls in my year already walking over to me, raising their eyebrows. They were probably going to ask what the kiss was about and I'd have to tell them I was dating..... realisation hit me.

Mattheo hadn't kissed me because he wanted to but so the others could see and would come and ask me. He was smart. I would give him that but it did hurt my feelings slightly.

After a lot of explaining how me and Mattheo got together and lying for three hours straight I slipped into my bed earlier than usual, staring at my dress for the next night. It was a dark green almost the exact shade of our Slytherin robes except in silk. I turned to my other side wishing I hadn't eaten so much dessert because it still didn't seem digested to me. I could hear hooting in the distance, guessing it was probably other students owls, coming back or going out to send letters.

I had sent a letter to my parents just after dinner, telling them not to worry and how I had a date for the ball this year. I had re written the letter so many times, worried the expression when they read my words would make it obvious I was lying. After the fire had eaten up 4 parchments I finally sent the letter off hoping for the best. Pansy had ended up reading over my shoulder before I could stop her and had found out I was "dating" Mattheo. At first she was upset I hadn't told her. Her arms had been crossed and a permanent frown had been etched onto her face.

I couldn't lie to her so I eventually told her the truth, her eyes widening as I explained everything.

"I'm sure it'll be fine" She had said eventually. I hoped she was right.

The next day rushed by extremely quickly. It felt like I had just had breakfast but here I was waiting for my mother to show up. She had said she wanted to "meet me before she left for something extremely important in a different country"

She just meant she was going on holiday without me but I didn't mind. The last time I had gone all she did was talk about my grades and the clothes I was wearing or something else that annoyed me. I turned to Pansy who was starting to look at her nails in boredom.

"You should go. Start getting ready" I said to her. She was waiting with me, just inside the school gates. Pansy shrugged "I don't mind. You need support when your dear mother comes because Salazar knows you can't lie"

I crossed my arms even though I knew she was kind of right "I can. Listen I'll be fine, trust me. Go get ready"

Pansy hummed in thought "It does take me a while to do my eyeliner.....fine. See you, don't crumble under pressure" She blew me a kiss and walked back in leaving me to crack my knuckles repeatedly even though they were already cracked.

I couldn't even wait in peace because as soon as Pansy left I heard gravel crunch behind me and when I turned to look who it was, Mattheo's grin made me want to stop time. God he was gorgeous and he didn't even try.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he stood next to me, his body heat reaching me at his close proximity. He raised an eyebrow a knowing smile on his lips "You can't lie to me forget lying to your own mother"

I huffed in annoyance. Why did everyone underestimate me? I mean they were right but still. And how could I lie to Mattheo when his chocolate eyes would make me melt in mere seconds? And how did he know what I was waiting for? Pansy must have told him on her way in.

Without warning my mother apparated in front of me before I could confirm what I was thinking. She was wearing smart wizarding robes. She had probably just come from work. Like usual she didn't hug me, just giving me a once over and then turning to Mattheo instead.

"So your dating my daughter?" She got straight to the point, tossing her blonde waves behind her, eyes narrowed. Mattheo nodded his expression serious

"Yes maam"

Her eyebrows raised slightly but she carried on quizzing him about his grades, plans and even what he thought about marriage. I wanted to die right about now. Luckily she only turned to me at the very end of her little interview "I expect you to have good grades by the end of the year. Your father sends his love" And with that she apparated away just as quickly as she had arrived.

I let out a sigh "Thanks. She's a handful sometimes" I told him, feeling bad that he had to take the brunt of her questioning. He shrugged wrapping an arm around my waist "It's fine, nothing I can't handle"

"You don't have to pretend like we're dating when no one's looking you know" I said to him quietly. It was getting dark now and no one would be out in the gardens anyways. Mattheo ignored me, carrying on walking toward the castle, his hand shifting to pull me closer

"Someone could be looking though the window, sweetheart. You can't be too careful" He whispered in my ear, his voice making my insides heat and my legs feel like jelly. I blinked at him as he straightened up acting as if he hadn't just made butterflies erupt in my stomach from a few simples words.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I couldn't survive one night next to him without my brain cells melting how would I survive a whole fucking week?

[morose-melodies]

i love your genshin works :) i was hoping you could do separate headcanons on yandere capitano, pantalone, and pierro getting back their lover after she escaped. thank you sm

hide and seek | yandere! various! fatui harbingers

CAPITANO

he was surprised.

but he was disappointed with the house staff and fired them all.

there was a lingering thought at the back of his mind, "what did I do wrong?"

whatever it was he wanted to make it right.

he unacknowledged his safety just to find you and make sure you're safe.

once the initial surprise of you escaping faded, capitano was determined to find you.

saying that capitano was determined was an understatement - he was going to find you.

though it was dark out, he went looking for you, his mind full of worry.

you could freeze to death, get hurt, get mauled to death by wolves, or worse.

he set out, looking for you alone with only his horse, light, and a dull blade.

he couldn't allow himself to be overwhelmed with emotions at a time like this. he needed to find you. he needed to know that you were safe before his emotions got the best of him.

and then he saw you.

dress muddy, hair tangled, and limping.

you didn't seem to hear him coming, so he stopped his horse and trailed behind you.

until he got close enough to grab you.

...

"no!" was all you managed to scream as a string pair of arms wrapped around you and lifted you from the ground.

"what made you come out here, (y/n)? what caused you to leave me?" you were tense as capitano carried you back to his horse.

"I want to go home! please- let me go!" you cried, legs kicking around ceaselessly.

"i cannot let you go home. i'd miss you far too much," capitano's voice lowered as he adjusted you onto the horse before also getting on.

his arm remained tight around you, as he said, "ive tried my absolute hardest to satisfy you. tell me, (y/n), what have i done wrong?"

PANTALONE

honestly, he wasn't too worried.

but he sure did miss you.

he put GPS in your jewlrey ahead of time, in case this happened.

he would ask soldiers to go out and find you.

and be a little more strict on you after you were home.

coming into your bedroom to see you gone was... upsetting to him.

he provided for you, gave you a house to live in, and loved you, and you left?

you are unappreciative, and that upset him.

not only did you leave the room a mess, but you also left with all the jewelry he had bought for you.

silly you.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.

so he sent out three fatui soldiers to retrieve you, seeing that you were just down the road all thanks to the GPS in one of the necklaces he gave you.

he waited patiently, knowing you'd be back within his reach soon enough.

...

"don't you ever," pantalone pulled you into your room, hugging you, squeezing you in his arms, hard, "try to leave me again. do you know how worried i was for you?"

you refused to reply, your eyes narrowed and face in a permanent pout.

"no, don't look at me like that, this," he pointed at your arm, which was brushed and red, "didn't have to happen if you hadn't tried to fight the soldiers when they came for you."

all you could do was as pantalone pulled you into bed with him, hugging you harder and tighter as he whispered to you about how much he loved you and missed you.

PIERRO

he was disappointed.

very, very disappointed.

he couldn't understand why you kept trying to leave him.

your persistence to leave was annoying him.

though he says he's given you too many chances and he won't give you anymore, he continues to give you more chances.

it had been less than five minutes since you escaped, and pierro had already sent soldiers looking for you.

shamefully, the guards weren't able to stop you from escaping, pierro sighed. It was disappointing. he'd have to get new, more useful guards to watch after you.

and then finally, the doors to his office opened, and you walked in, a soldier following closely behind you.

"(y/n), sit down and you can leave," pierro watched as you sat down and as the soldier left.

"what were you thinking? did you truly believe you'd get away from me?" pierro questioned, watching as you uncomfortably avoided his gaze.

"I'm sorry, lord harbinger. please forgive me."

"no. i cannot forgive so easily this time. how many times have you tried to leave me (y/n)?"

"six times."

"when will you give up, (y/n), why are you so hellbent on leaving me? tell me why."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again, I promise. I really won't."

pierro smiled, as he stood up and walked overto you before wrapping his arms around you, "i believe (y/n) and let you with a gentle warning one last time."

[large-lit]

We were about the same size when we met. I was a little heavier thanks to my efforts to fatten up alone, but you promised to change that.

After the first twenty pounds, people started assuming I was the one paying for our dates more often. I must have looked a little more mature and imposing with my bulk, I suppose. Or maybe they correctly assumed that I was the one eating most of the food ordered.

Fifty pounds, and people started giving you sympathetic looks once they recognized us in public. 'It must be so hard,' they must have thought, 'having a boyfriend who so completely failed to take care of himself. How could he have let himself go so badly?' If only they knew the sort of garbage you fed me behind closed doors, how badly you whined for me to get on top or crush you against a wall.

At the one hundred pound mark, I could no longer keep up with you as easily during our walks. You managed to maintain your slim, athletic physique while I had blown up into a genuine porker, and with every restaurant you dragged me to, every appetizer you had two bites of before pushing the rest onto me, the difference only grew more pronounced. Having replaced my entire wardrobe at this point, I joked that you had only blown me up so big to steal my clothes. You silenced me with another funnel full of gainer shake.

After one hundred and fifty pounds, my weight nearly doubled from when we met, you unceremoniously cancelled my gym membership. A fair decision, honestly, since I hadn't gone in months and that was perfectly good money that could go towards food. I was a little worried about my future mobility, not having enough muscle mass beneath the several dozen layers of padding, but you assured me that it was fine and stuffed another cinnamon roll into my mouth. You'd been getting more dominant the fatter I got for a while now, but here is where it really kicked into high gear. I couldn't have been more turned on by it.

At two hundred extra pounds, I was closing in on some seriously massive sizes. Not only that, but with how much facial and body hair was starting to come in on me, you decided it was time for some help in blowing me up. Now that I was undeniably in bear territory, you put me on the appropriate dating apps and advertised me as someone who needed help staying fed. With plenty of pictures of my smaller sizes to prove that I was a blubber bomb, you had no trouble enticing new feeders to your cause, and the weight continued piling on.

After two hundred and fifty pounds gained, I got called into a meeting at work. My size and drastically changed appearance was starting to affect my performance in the office, and it had gotten to a point where they could no longer ignore it. I was offered a work from home position, and you were over the moon when I told you, already scheming up ways to more effectively fatten me now that you'd have me home all the time. No office hours meant we could stop spending money on work clothes, but I pointed out that I would still need to be on video calls at times, and I'd need shirts for that. The idea of me popping even more buttons seemed to lift your spirits from the idea that I would not in fact have all my wobbling blubber on display at all hours.

The next milestone, three hundred pounds gained, came more quickly than either of us were expecting. Between working from home and having multiple extra feeders working on me over the course of the day, those next fifty pounds came on fast. Not a free moment went by when I wasn't either being hand/funnel fed, getting my belly rubbed, or both. We both laughed pretty hard when my office chair finally gave up the ghost while I was on a video call, sending me toppling to the floor and giving my coworkers a full view of just how wide and low my gut had gotten since leaving the office as I got back up. You insisted on a full sheet cake "reward" before we ordered a new chair.

After a whopping three hundred and fifty pounds gained, my weight triple what it had been when we'd met, I realized that it was now completely impossible for me to reach around my gut and between my thighs to get to my dick. You took obvious pride in this accomplishment, and celebrated with a double helping of gainer shake, funneled into me as you fucked my enormous ass. With all my numerous heavy rolls and folds of fat wobbling and jiggling, and me living in a near-constant state of arousal from how intensely you'd been feeding me, it didn't take long for me to have my first hands-free orgasm, filled from both ends and hearing you go on about how huge, fat, sexy, massive, etc I was getting. When I told you I was still hungry after we both finished, you looked ready to go for another round.

Another fifty pounds later, a package arrived in the mail addressed to me. Seeing as my main activities were either work, food, or sex, I didn't really have much time for online shopping. When I walked into the kitchen with the package, you grinned and sat me down in my chair, eager to see me open it. Inside was an enormous pair of sweatpants that looked like they would've drowned you, and a photo of us when we'd just met. Back when we'd been younger, and I much thinner, we'd joked about getting a pair of sweats just like these, ones that you could fit your entire body into one leg of, while I'd overflow the whole thing. After you did a quick test of your part, you helped me pull them up around my blubbery waist, having me hold up my gut as best I could so you could wedge the waistband between the two heavy, blubbery folds. When it came time to pull the rest up behind my rear, they only barely cleared my shelf of an ass.

In an uncharacteristic move of dominance that I could tell both surprised and aroused you, I whirled on you, pressing you to the wall with my belly. I grabbed your wrists to keep you against me as I waddled the two of us over to the couch. While you still reeled over having your whale of a boyfriend manhandle you so, I brought my immense belly down to rest on you, sandwiching you between my weight and the furniture.

"Any thoughts for dinner?" I mused idly as I looked out the window, spying one of our feeder friends pulling up to our driveway. "I think someone's bringing pizza today. Might call them to double the order, eh?"

From beneath me, I could feel you groaning and groping me, your arms barely able to reach halfway around me. I wasn't even close to done growing...

[surelysilly]

Writers ask game: planet, snowflake, desert :D

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

huh. this made me actually have to take stock of all the good going on in my life rn...

im slowly but surely getting away from a job that is much too mentally taxing (i am actively seeing the progress it's cool :3)

touching a lot of grass once more and learning what it actually is (going outside is great)

eating so much good food

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

dear me, what a question... i love time travel and time loops a lot, so like, just anything involving that with a nice plotty plot honestly that fully fleshes out the world of the source material... @/blackkatmagic has written some of my most favorite naruto time travel fics, so they obviously would already be amazing at it, so they would write it best (again) uwu

i'd love to be able to do what they did in those fics one day lol

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

the ones where people pick up what i put down (foreshadowing/hints at a wider picture)!! especially when i hadn't even realized it yet xD

i feel like i write too.... subtly sometimes, not as clearly as i could, so i always worry "does this make sense!! to people!!! who don't have the whole plot living in their head??" so i feel great when people say "i saw what u did there" >:3c

[elijasz]

Okay I was going to put this in the tags but its honestly too important.

Apart from the financial struggle, which includes having to potentially care financially for your family instead of the other way around, there are a BUNCH of other socio-economic factors that prevent poor people from getting higher education.

One is that people who grew up poor have much higher chances of having less language proficiency, knowledge about the world etc. One of the main reasons for that is communication with the parents. If your parents work a lot, they dont have time to talk to you. If you don't eat dinner together because your parents are exhausted, or you cannot talk about your day and your experiences and ask questions, discuss etc, you will likely end up with a smaller vocabulary, less grammatical fluency, worse conflict management skills, issues critically reflecting behaviour and actions (though this is quickly fixed because the world LOVES giving marginalized people criticism and forcing them to change), and much more. Just from a lack of conversation with parents or caretakers. We also cannot ignore the stress and psychological pressure poor people are under for a bunch of reasons.

But back to the language part, because that's what I know about. Children from less privileged financial backgrounds often acquire a certain way of speaking, that is connected to their class. They don't have the opportunities to develop an academic style and this can already inhibit their application process. Adding slower writing and reading speed and taking longer for listening comprehension means they take longer to process and produce work. This takes from their freetime. Their work also takes from their freetime. This is just one of the instances where "we all have the same 24 hours" is total bullshit. Now if you consider that poor people have a higher chance of medical issues, chronic illness, mental and physical disabilities etc, we get to the point were they already spend more money to live, then spend more money to study, potentially need more time to achieve the same goals, which also costs money, and then still have to deal with so much other stuff going untreated because medical care is fucking expensive, you have a recipe for self sustaining classism.

This isn't just an american thing either. We've been talking about this issue at uni in Germany. Our education costs "only" a few hundred euros per YEAR. But the issue is that your workload, the expected workload you have to follow if you want to finish in the recommended/expected time, is often more than 60h a week. Again, adding the extra time poor people might need, and the time people need to work because living costs money and living in university cities costs even more, you have people working 70-100h work weeks.

I worked a lot since childhood because I grew up poor. When I started Uni I lived in a cheap apartment and because I had a well paying job, I was able to sustain myself with only a little support from my parents (who worked extra so my sibling and I could get a higher education. All of us worked more so my sibling and I could afford getting something that's claimed to be "free" in Germany). But you know what happened? I got fucking burnout a few semesters in. Because I was at uni 8-10 hours a day on week days and worked at least another 2 hours after uni every day, and that was barely enough, because I didn't have fucking latin, or hadn't read Judith Butler, or Mann, or Brecht, or whatever else they expected my parents to have at home. I worked my ass off on week days and on Friday I went straight to work after uni, worked until 4am, went to sleep, worked on some paper or presentation, went to work again and so on. I had NO freetime. If my job hadn't required me to walk 10-20km every night, and carry a shitton of full glasses, I'd have gotten no exercise at all.

Went my therapist said I need to slow down, I asked him how. Because I was never asked to slow down before. It was always more more more. Never less. I had to learn to destress because I had several years of stress build up and didn't even realise because I still wasnt performing to the standard I compared myself too: Rich people whose parents were academics, whose parents paid for everything the owned, ate, smoked and drank, who didn't need to go to an extra course to understand the text that kept referencing historical events I'd never heard about or used Latin phrases that left me confused.

Being poor means trying much harder than everyone to achieve the same shit, breaking yourself to be average, and then getting ridiculed because you fall asleep in class, or get sick a lot, or start smoking to cope with the stress because god forbid your suffering isn't sexy and presentable.

There are so many classist systems and the education system is one of the worst. Its self sustaining and allows all other systems of classist oppression to continue. Because it prevents people from taking narrative agency, from telling their stories in a way academia deems acceptable and "scientific". Because it prevents poor people from gaining access to power and to the knowledge on how to break out of that system. I have broken out of that system. But it's cost me a lot and I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't had a supportive partner and parents, who literally worked themselves to failure to support me. (literally. they went to work sick, came home, changed and went to their other job. I'm not joking when I say they worked themselves to failure. Their bodies are failing and I don't have the option to support them yet because I needed to slow down myself so i dont break)

People don't understand how harmful, how deadly, this system is and how it goes beyond free education. Classism is a societal issue that needs to be resolved more than ever, as more people become poor and more money exists in the hands of those who need it least.

We don't just need free education, we need financial support independent of how long its taking you to finish your studies, instead dependent on how much you need to survive as an individual, not a calculated number. And we need a reformed system that recognises that some people will struggle more than others because of their background. With or without their own "fault".

[yoroiis]

Saiki sighed dramatically, setting down a cloth-wrapped box in front of her twin. Getting access to the station had been difficult; she was a member of the Yashiro Commission, and though the station was often open to anyone who needed to speak to a doushin, just walking in with intentions to visit Heizou wasn't something considered 'needing to speak to a doushin', and had gained her more than a few looks as she'd followed Cettra inside after finally gaining permissions, a good ten minutes after she'd shown up at their front gate. Honestly though, she couldn't blame them - It wasn't often she came by the station itself and many still didn't know her as a result, requiring the running about to not only see if such a visit was okay, but to confirm she was who she'd claimed herself to be in the first place.

All the same, her dramatics had come with a smile, focusing her pale green gaze on Heizou's matching eyes a moment later. "Your lunch delivery service is here. I picked up a little extra for Cettra, too - I know she loves mochi, so there's a little extra for her." She'd pause there, fighting back laughter at the sound of the wolf's tail thudding against the wall from her hidden spot around a nearby corner; did she not think they knew she was there? "I brought the papers you asked for, too. I don't know what case you're working on, but I brought everything I could find... Be careful, all right?"

He would. Heizou was a brilliant detective and his skills as a fighter was top tier - She had firsthand experience to be able to say as much, occasionally catching up with him for a sparring session to keep their skills sharp together. Still, that didn't mean she wouldn't worry for him, head dipping into a barely-there nod to silently remind him as much. "Whatever criminal you're looking for... They're slick. The information I could gather says they've been to just about every island and have had hideouts everywhere, so... Just promise me you won't cause too much chaos. And if you need more than Cettra to back you up... Call for me. I'll be there." Yashiro, Tenryou... It didn't matter which commissions they worked for - She'd be there as fast as she could, just to back up her brother.

" -Ha! I thought I'd smelled some actual food somewhere! You're a real lifesaver for bringing me all of this, Sis. I seriously thought Cee and I were gonna have to sneak out of the station again and grab a bite to eat on our own. "

And with the way Heizou's eyes seemed to light up just with Saiki's surprise appearance, she'd probably instantly be able to tell he appreciated the favor! It was no secret that the detective couldn't stand the pre-made meals at the police station. When given the option to take one during a break from his paperwork or starve -- Heizou would almost starve! Not being able to pick his own food literally killed the thrill of lunch for him...and Saiki seemed to realize that, too!

Even if that wasn't the sole reason he'd asked for Saiki to bring him something either.

The case in question was a missing person's complaint. Heizou had recently managed to make a break in the files the Tenryou Commission had and track down a lead to a suspect. The problem was, he hadn't been able to get any farther than that. The man he'd decided they were after was apparently a notorious Inazuman island hopper with a large criminal background. He hadn't expected Saiki to come through for him when he'd asked her opinion of the case like a shot in the dark-

But with fried food for lunch, extra mochi for Cee, and a new break in the case he'd thought had gone cold again -- Heizou was on cloud nine!

" But c'mon, Saiki! You know you don't have to worry about me like that! I've already had my nose stuck in this case for awhile, and if I don't see it solved and someone prosecuted for it, then I'll never be able to live it down. Besides, you know I don't ever do the actual arresting, right? All I'm doing here is putting together the pieces for the other, more qualified, doushin to tackle. "

So her help? He doubted he'd need it, but it nice to know she cared enough to even offer it.

" And if I'm not mistaken- " he'd continue in a teasing tone. " Aren't you usually busy running around with that lowkey celebrity of a housekeeper nowadays anyway? Why would I bother my 'rising star' of a sister when she's got more important matters to deal with. "

[riverageleis]

I've been MIA for a few weeks. Between my mental health, starting a couple of new projects, work, and renovations, my spoons have been dangerously low.

Mental Health

I had a Myriad genetic test to see why I failed so many SSRI/SNRIs. The answer is because of the answer is because of all of the ones on the market three (3) work with my genetics. The rest are 'might be okay' or 'absolutely the fuck not.' I've already failed one of the 3, so that makes two left. It is also why I have failed tricyclics. The vast majority of them are in the 'lolnope' category. So is my current antipsychotic, so I guess I get to detox from it. >:-[

Anyway, so Pristiq is making me vaguely paranoid (vaguely being above baseline...) and now I'm sleeping around 4 hours, which is why I'm up at 0130 typing this. I'm tired all the time, have a headache, have all but stopped eating, and in general don't constantly want to unalive myself, but holy fucking fuck! I'm so tired I could drop into a coma at any point during my day. All of these are known side effects., so yay. I titrated up on my dose a week ago and all of those things have gotten worse. Also, yay.

Oh! And a couple of weeks ago I had this random asshole get angry at me on the road because I had the audacity to be in front of him and slow down to turn into my driveway. He was going to turn into the drive behind me and make the biggest mistake of his life until he saw my partner come out of the house and then he thought better of it. That's twice now in the space of a year that men have thought they were going to intimidate me by following me because I had the audacity to be afab existing alone in a vehicle. (The other got mad because I had the audacity to pass him because he was going 20mph under the speed limit.) Some of us have no flight response. That's bad for someone just wanting to be a scary jerk.

New Projects

I'm about 4k words into 2 new stories with about 8k words to edit in my finished works. The aforementioned exhaustion has got those things moving slower than I'd like, despite all of the extra hours in my day.

Work

I'm working long hours again, this last week it was 49. The two weeks before it averaged 44 each. The extra pay helps with bills since my partner was unemployed for 2 months and has worked at his new job for 2 weeks. His unemployment still hasn't come through. (Thanks 'small government' Republicans! It's great that you're in my uterus, but also want to destroy any social safety net us poors might need, you know, like unemployment. You're awesome!)

Renovations

They all but stopped until the last 2 weeks. I think daddy was sick of my partner being under foot for everything instead of worrying about getting a job. Honestly, I was, too. We moved a year ago and he's been unemployed almost half that time. If we hadn't been living in an RV this whole time, we'd have been homeless. (Not really, but mom and dad would have been paying rent or bills or something because I couldn't.) It was only when I told him that he needed to think about moving back to Missouri did he find a job and quickly. It wasn't like this before we moved. He was always employed. I also have fruits and veggies going nuts. I have a sweet potato that I'm going to put in a hanging basket. I have 6 volunteer tomato plants, two of which are losing their minds. I have no less than 3, probably, cantaloupe plants in my burgeoning compost pile. Horsenettle all over the yard, muscadine vines (wild grapes), wild petunias. This wee witch's cottage loves us as much as we love it.

The Cats

And because I need to end on a high note, I need to talk about my cats. My almost 9-year-old beastie, Clarise the former completely indoor City Kitty, has embraced the idea of being a Country Cat. She's being supervised as she explores the yard and all that our wee acre has to offer her, which is mostly grass. She has flea and tick medicine on for the first time in her life. I also discovered that her soft double coat is too dense for a tick to get through. How? I found one on her face trying its damndest to get through to her skin. It was failing. So, now we do tick checks, despite the medicine. Lt. Dan is turning into the most rambunctious little bugger as she heads toward 6 months old. Still, nothing seems to phase her, so I hope she's going to be super chill. She was desexed recently and completely unbothered by the surgery. She also got her first dose of flea medicine because she didn't weigh enough to have any yet. She is also excited to be a Country Cat, except they don't make a harness small enough for her. Fun fact: Tiny dog harnesses are the same size as kitten harnesses.

[herroyalhighnessqueenmomo]

Faded Memories (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader) |Part 10|

A/N: Sorry this ended up being a teensy bit later than I anticipated but I got a cold at the end of my vacation so I was recovering a bit while also going back to work. In other news I tried to make this part extra long. Hope y’all enjoy! 

That morning around 10 you woke up to see Eddie frantically getting dressed. You squinted. "Jesus what time is it?" You croaked out while yawning. "Its gonna be 10 o' clock. I'm running late for work." He said in a panicked voice. "What?!" You sat up quickly. The bed sheets that were covering you fell onto your lap. Eddie avoided looking at your chest.

You didn't notice and got out of the bed. He was now more obvious about his attempt to not look at you. "Are you avoiding looking at me?" You asked him feeling a little confused and a little self conscious. "Yes I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with you. You look so beautiful like this, but I'm already running late and if I look at you right now I will want to take you again and I will never leave this apartment today." He stammered making you blush. You went to grab your bathrobe and wrapped it around your body. "Better?" You asked him. He looked over and nodded. He went and put on his boots.

"Let me make you something to eat." You stated whilst walking out your shared bedroom. "As much as I'd love that, I seriously don't have the time." He stated as he was still in the room buttoning up his jumpsuit. "I'll just get a bagel with cream cheese prepared for you. I'm sure you can eat that on the way at least." You made quick work of opening the pack of bagels on the kitchen counter. "Will it even be worth it? I don't even have the time to get it toasted." He was now in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

You shrugged and opened a drawer to pull out Eddie's lighter he would keep in there. You ignited it and held the bagel slices near the flame figuring this would work faster than his toaster. While you continued to do that you used your foot to open the fridge. You then put your head in and grabbed the tin of cream cheese with your mouth and shut the door with your foot. You could see Eddie pop his head out the bathroom. His toothbrush was in his mouth.

His eyebrow was raised in absolute confusion as he saw you with a lighter and the bagel slice with a random cream cheese tub in your mouth. You walked over to the counter to release the tub. "Its called multi tasking Eds." Was all you said to him. Both sides of the bagel had gotten a bit of color to them. When you were satisfied with it you put the lighter down and grabbed a butter knife to spread the cream cheese on the slices.

After finishing up with the bagels you realized that Eddie needed something to drink so you opened the fridge to see if you could find anything to give him. You spotted a bottle of Yoohoo and grabbed it. You shut the fridge and set the bottle on the counter next to the bagel. Eddie rushed over to you and gave you a quick kiss on the lips. "You're the best baby." You smiled. "So I'm told." You saw him sandwich the two slices together and take a quick bite. "Hey that's not how you eat a bagel with cream cheese you heathen!"

He just gave you a cheeky smile as he continued to chew. He grabbed the drink and gave you another kiss. This time he had cream cheese on his lips. He swiftly grabbed his keys and made an exit from the apartment. Once the door closed you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding.

You now had the chance to sit and process the events of last night. You honestly still couldn't believe it. Eddie and you finally had sex together for the first time. You realized that this was huge and you had to tell someone or you would die. Just dead on, body explosion. You quickly took a shower and continued to replay events from last night. The jealousy coming from Eddie, the way he professed how much he actually loved you, and finally the way he made love to you.

You shook off the thoughts and went to get dressed. You put on a pair of acid wash jeans, an oversized muscle shirt that was Eddie’s (it was relatively big on Eddie but on you, you could see your bare sides and some of your bra) and your old beat up All Stars that you threw on the floor last night. You looked in the mirror and turned to look at your bare sides. You shrugged and thought nothing of it. You’ve seen some other women in Hawkins wearing a lot less so it can’t be that bad.

You exited the bedroom and grabbed your keys as you left the apartment. You went downstairs and to your car. You drove to Nancy’s office to go talk to her about what happened last night. When you drove up to the building you noticed it was closed. You groaned and pulled back out of the parking lot and decided to drive to Family Video to try your luck. When you pulled up you stepped out and went inside. Luckily for you Nancy, Steve and Robin were all in one place.

You took in a deep breath feeling a little nervous since you haven’t spoken to Robin and Steve since your memories returned. You wondered if Nancy told them anything. You never told her anything about saying the truth to them. You honestly weren’t even sure if you wanted them to know. 

After hearing the door open they all turned to look at you. “Y/N! Good to see you!” Steve exclaimed seeming happy to see you. You smiled and walked over. “Yeah it feels like forever since the last time you’ve come visit us.” Robin stated. “Actually I’m surprised you knew where to come find us.” She added. You let out a cough of surprise. Nancy kind of looked at you wide eyed as she wondered how you would get your way out of this one. 

“Oh, Eddie told me where you guys worked.  I already knew where the store was.” You thought on the spot. “Really? I thought this store didn’t open until like 198-” Robin had started to say. “So Y/N how was your first day at the new job last night?” Nancy asked cutting her off in order to change the subject. You internally thanked Nance for having you back. “It was okay. Actually...no it wasn’t. The guys that have come in were total creeps.” You explained deciding to be at least truthful about this. “A lot of them kept hitting on me. Even made some inappropriate comments.” 

They all seemed surprised and disgusted. “You’re not going back there are you?” Steve asked. You shrugged. “I kind of have to. This was the only job opening I could find that wasn’t retail based. I really didn’t wanna work retail.” You explained. They all nodded remembering how much you hated working at the department store right before your move. Steve scrunched his eyebrows in thought. “Wait why didn’t you want to work retail? Do you remember what it was like when you had before?” He asked you out of curiosity. Your mouth opened but no words would come out. 

Nancy then let out a slight nervous laugh. “I mean would anyone really want to work retail? You two are kind of working retail now, you can’t tell me that you enjoy it.” She said defending you. Both Steve and Robin kind of nodded in agreement realizing that she wasn’t wrong. “Did Eddie get to visit you? I think you mentioned to me that he was supposed to.” Nancy brought up. You gave her a nod. “Uh yeah, he did. He also got to lay witness of some guy grabbing my ass.” 

“Wait what? Some guy grabbed your ass? Is he still alive?” Steve asked and seemed pretty concerned. “Uh, yeah last time I checked he was.” You replied. “Did Eddie not say or do anything when he saw that guy grabbed you?” Robin was now asking. “Oh he did. In fact he practically threatened to kick the guy’s ass but I tried to talk him down because that asshole was with a group of friends and I was afraid they’d hurt Eddie.” You told them. "He got kind of upset with the whole situation though and left. I did finish the shift though without any other problems."

The trio just stared at you with zero clue on what to say. You kind of rocked back and forth on your feet with your hands in your pockets. "Um...so by the time I got home from work Eddie apologized to me. We had a talk and then we had sex. So how have you guys been?" You quickly glossed over the mentioning of your physical intimacy with Eddie and tried to move to the next subject.

They all looked taken aback. The three of them knew damn well that, that was the first time that you and Eddie got hot and heavy. Steve and Robin both tried to not make it seem like a big deal since they still thought your memories were gone. If you were in fact married to Eddie in the past this would've been just another night of doing the devil's tango with your husband. Nancy on the other hand was inwardly freaking out for you.

"You guys actually did it?" Steve asked breaking the silence. You gave a nod. "Well no wonder you look like you're glowing. I think they call that an after sex glow." Robin stated. You snorted out a laugh. "Who has ever said that?" You asked. "I don't know I've read it in a magazine somewhere or something." She responded.

"So how was it?" Nancy asked you. "Should I really be here for this conversation?" Steve asked. Robin then turned to look at him. "Dingus, should I? I'm not sure I wanna hear about straight people having sex." Robin snapped at him. "We can talk about it later Nance." You suggested.

The four of you continued to just chat like you used to. It felt nice to you. At some point you checked the time and it was already going to be 4 p.m. You realized that Eddie would be having lunch soon and he didn't have anything to eat. "Guys I'm going to head out. I have to go home and make Eddie something to eat for lunch." You stated. "You don't even know where he works though, do you?" Steve asked. He seemed almost suspicious of you.

"Nancy showed it to me the other day." You lied. "Right Nance?" She nodded. "It will be nice to see the guys again, right? You haven't seen them in a while." Steve stated. "Yeah I haven't gone to see them since before Eddie was with- motherfucker." You fell for it again. "You got your memories back?!" Steve exclaimed. "Nancy did you know about this?" Robin asked. "I asked her not to say anything." You responded. "Why would you hide that from us?" Steve asked.

You let out a sigh. "I don't know. I just didn't want to say anything to Eddie yet and I figured the less people who knew, the easier it would be. I'm sorry for hiding from you guys." You explained. "Why don't you want Eddie to find out?" Robin asked. You shrugged. "I'm still not mentally prepared for the talk we will have to have afterwards. I know we will have a huge fight and I don't want things to get ruined between us. I'm finally happy."

"Do you really think he would stop loving you over something so simple?" Robin asked. You snorted and tried not to laugh so hard. "Trust me this is anything but simple Rob. We both have lied to each other. He told me he was my husband and I'm letting him believe I still have amnesia." You responded now pinching the bridge of your nose. "Our relationship is a sham. Built on lies." Steve shook his head. "No. Its not a sham. You actually love each other. There's no way to lie about that." He stated. "And what if its not enough?" You asked letting your doubts affect you.

Deep down you knew that nothing you could say or do would get Eddie to stop loving you. He proved that last night by the way he held and worshipped your body. You hated all the doubts that kept creeping up on you. It was something you had a hard time controlling.

"It will be enough. And in a crazy impossible chance where it isn't, I will quite literally stop believing in love." Steve proclaimed. You crossed your arms. "Why would you stop believing in love?" You asked. You honestly thought he was being dramatic and were confused.

"Because, you two have loved each other for years, whether you were willing to admit it or not. That kind of love is unconditional. So in the impossible case where that love isn't enough, I will give up. Love wouldn't be worth it, not if it can be broken apart like that." Steve finished explaining. Robin patted his back. "You know, you're a real hopeless romantic." She stated. He only rolled his eyes.

You nodded. "Look you're right. Which honestly I hate having to admit. I just have a lot of self doubts. I'll think about telling Eddie, but right now I really have to go." You replied and said your goodbyes.

You made your way to the apartment and quickly went in to make Eddie some lunch. You made him a simple ham and cheese sandwich then added all of the condiments he loved. You grabbed some chips in one of the cupboards then grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. You placed all of it in a paper bag to make it easier to carry. You then left the apartment and ran back downstairs.

You drove to the Garage that Eddie worked out. It hasn't changed since you last saw it. It has been over a year since you last visited and you were kind of nervous to see the guys again. A part of you was a little excited too because you did miss them. They all were sweet and very caring of you. You grabbed Eddie's food from your passenger seat and got out of the car.

You took a deep breath as you walked into the shop. The first person you noticed was Mack and as soon as his eyes landed on you he beamed up immediately. "Y/N! How are you doing sweetie? It's been so long." He quickly wiped his hands on a rag beside him before he went to approach you. "Oh, you probably don't remember me. I'm Mack. I was your favorite." He stated the last part in a hushed voice. "In your dreams Mack. Now let the girl breathe or else she won't come back here to see the likes of you." It was Charlie who you saw approaching now.

You missed them both. They both looked like they have aged a bit more in the past year. Mack managed to grow out a beard while Charlie just had his usual shadow. "So what brings you here girlie?" He asked you. You held up the paper bag. "Just bringing Eddie his lunch." This made Charlie smile. "You haven't changed a bit, Y/N. Just like old times." He stated. "Hey Munson!" Charlie turned his head to call out behind him. "What is it?!" You heard Eddie call back out. "Your beautiful wife is here!" Mack exclaimed.

You heard the sound of a tool drop and the sound of running. "Y/N is here?" You saw another man approaching. You recognized him immediately. It was Dave. "Hey I called Munson. Not you." Charlie stated. "I'm not missing an opportunity to say hi to Y/N. How you doing hon?" He asked you with a smile on his face. "I'm okay. Thank you for asking. How are you?" He looked like he was over the moon that you cared to see how he was. "My day just got a whole lot better since you're here to visit." He responded.

"Alright, alright. You guys are crowding my wife. Settle down." You smiled as you saw Eddie walk up. "Hey its not our fault that we miss the little lady. You've been keeping her away from us." Mack stated. Eddie walked up to you and gave you a kiss. "Hey princess." He greeted you. "Alright Munson. You can go on your lunch break now since your wife is here with your food." Charlie stated. Eddie nodded and led you to his van where he opened the back door for the both of you to sit on the van floor.

You handed him the paper bag. He pulled out the sandwich and examined it. "You got all my favorites in here." He stated. Your heart dropped. "Oh I do? Huh, I just kind of threw it all together without even thinking about it." You lied. Eddie shrugged and took a bite from the sandwich. He then began to munch away at the chips. He looked like he had been starving as if he hadn't eaten in days. "Whoa, slow down there Eds. You're gonna choke." You joked. He grabbed the bottle of beer and used the edge of the van floor and his hand to open the cap. He took a swig of it. "Have I ever told you that you're the best?" He asked.

You smiled. "Only constantly." You replied. "So how has your day been so far?" You asked him. He simply shrugged as he finished his sandwich. "Same shit, different day." He said with his mouth full. You let out a laugh. "Eddie don't talk with your mouth full." He swallowed. "Sorry mom. I won't do it again." You rolled your eyes. "Ha ha very funny." You said sarcastically.

Eddie turned to look at you and then his eyes landed on your chest. "Hey buddy. My eyes are up here." You pointed to your eyes. "Sorry. I just...is that my shirt?" He asked. You looked down at the muscle shirt you were wearing. "Maybe." He took a sip of his beer. "It looks good on you."

You blushed. "Thanks." He leaned over and kissed your temple making you smile. "So what have you been up to today?" He asked as he munched on his chips. You shrugged. "Just went to Family Video to visit Nance, Steve, and Robin. Got to talk them a bit." Not to mention Robin and Steve now know your memory has returned but you couldn't tell him that. "Oh yeah? How was it?" He asked. "It was nice talking to them. Steve doesn't seem to think I should go back to the bar to work." You stated. "Good because you shouldn't." He replied.

You groaned and threw yourself back so you'd be laying on the floor of the van. "Come on don't give me that. You know I'm right." Eddie stated as he turned to look at you. You groaned again in annoyance. "Well grrrr to you too." He said.

You sat back up. "Okay how about this. I'll quit working at the bar." He fist pumped the air. "Yes." "If and only if, you can find me a better job that I would like." You finished. Now he groaned. "Babe are you serious?"

You nodded. "Yes, I'm not quitting unless I have another job. I don't mind working at the bar, at least I get good tips. You're the one who doesn't want me to work there." You explained.

"How about you quit now and we'll go job hunting tomorrow." He bargained. You shook your head.

"Nope. Nuh uh. Nice try but I'm only quitting when you can secure me a job." Eddie sighed. "Okay. Fine. I guess I gotta work quickly." He stated as he took a sip of his beer. "Only if you're that serious about me quitting."

"Oh I am dead serious about you quitting. I'm coming into the bar again tonight after my shift is over. I swear if I see some other guy hitting on you or has his hands on you, I'm kicking their ass and dragging you home with me." Eddie said in a very matter of fact tone. You let out a laugh. "Sure." "You think I won't?" He asked. "I never said that."

He turned his head to look at you. "You didn't have to. I could just tell. But I would do it." He said. "Okay." He let out a mock gasp. "You really don't believe me."

You rolled your eyes. "Why does it matter if I do or don't?" He clapped his hand. "Aha so you admit you don't believe me." He pointed at you. "I admit to nothing. It was just a question."

He seemed to deflate a bit. "I'm just really worried about you. I mean after everything that's been going on lately...and now you're just throwing yourself into work so soon?" Eddie finally let his guard down. It wasn't something that happened a lot. In fact, he only ever let his guard down with you. Well, you and maybe Dustin.

You took his hand and gave him a gentle reassuring smile. "You don't have to worry about me. I know that you will no matter what, but I'm okay. I promise." You stated.

He sighed and nodded. You held his face with your hand and gave him a kiss. You then separated from his lips and rested your forehead against his. "I love you. With all of my heart." He said. "I love you too. More than you know." You replied.

But Eddie knew. He knew you loved him so much it hurt. He knew that if he was with someone else you wouldn't be able to stand to see the sight of it. You were willing to leave him and sacrifice your happiness for his because you thought it would've been the best for him.

You hadn't realized that you were the best for him. He knew that without you in his life, nothing would be the same. Not the big things like birthdays or even new milestones with his band. Not the little things like getting a new riff down finally or getting the latest album of a band at the record store. None of it would be the same because he wouldn't have you by his side to celebrate. It would never have been worth it.

It was scary, terrifying even. Wanting to live and breathe for someone else. To be the best possible version of yourself because of someone you love. You made him want to be a better man, for you. He realized that if you wanted to you could rip out his heart and shatter it into a million pieces and he would still love you. His love really was unconditional in every sense of the way just as Steve had told you.

"I think I do know because that's how I feel about you too. You don't know what you've done to me." He says simply. It almost sounds like an accusation. Like a 'You and your beautiful soul, you made me love you and now I can't live the same life without you, how dare you.' sort of way. If it was an accusation, it was definitely one you could live with. "What have I done to you?" You asked innocently.

"You made me a slave for your love and I enjoy every moment of it. I wouldn't want it any other way. I would do anything for you." It felt like your heart just skipped a beat.

"God if you didn't have to get back to work in about five minutes I would seriously jump your bones right now." You muttered out without a second thought. Eddie let out a hearty laugh. "I hadn't realized my words had that affect on you." He stated.

The two of you chatted a little more and joked around comfortably with each other like the way you used to when you were just friends. In truth, being in a relationship with Eddie didn't mean you lost him as your best friend. Instead you just gained a life partner, and lover. He was always your soulmate and now you're closer than ever. Deep down you knew you'd be even closer if you just told him the truth.

It made you think about what Steve had said to you earlier. That no matter what you could do Eddie would still love you. Your love for one another was unconditional.

"Eddie I have to tell you something. I actually ha-"

"Munson! Come back over! Break time's over!" You heard Charlie yell out from inside the garage who interrupted your confession. Eddie finished his beer then got up from his seated position. "Well, guess that's my cue." You nodded and gave him a small smile as he helped you up.

"I really appreciated that you went out of your way to bring me lunch. Kinda feels a little like old times." He said to you as he held your hands still. You smiled and gave him a kiss. You knew exactly what he meant. Those were the good times you had in your friendship.

Before anything actually got complicated with the addition of Kendra to separate the two of you. This was something you used to always do. Bring him some kind of lunch and hung out with him during his break. You would talk about any and everything under the sun. Always about music, movies, and of course new D&D campaign ideas. It was nice and the two of you enjoyed it.

"Well I'm glad you I was able to come and give you lunch." You replied. The two of you walked towards the garage hand in hand. "Well look at the two of you. Such a beautiful couple." Mack stated. "Always said they would be. Damn shame it took him so long to realize she was perfect for him." Charlie replied. "Guys I'm right here." Eddie cut in. "We know." Charlie said.

"You guys make it sound like you've never seen us together." You stated. You thought maybe if you had a hard time telling him the truth he could say it instead. "Uh...its only because you haven't visited in a while. Thats all." Eddie stammered nervously. "Guess I should change that." You said. "Oh please do, we all have missed you." Mack replied. You gave him a sweet genuine smile. It was the kind of smile he was used to before. The one that warmed his heart.

You cared for all of the guys. It was like they were extended family. Almost like your uncles and you treated them as such. "Will do Mack." You checked the time. It was around 5:30 p.m. "I should get going. My shift at the Hideout starts at 6." You stated. "Whoa little lady. You work at the bar?" Mack asked you. You gave a nod. The guys all looked at Eddie. "And you're letting her work there?" Charlie asked.

Eddie put his hands up in surrender. "Hey, don't look at me. I tried to talk her out of it, she wouldn't listen to me." You rolled your eyes. "A job is a job. I don't see what the big deal is." You stated. "The deal is that there are going to be a lot of drunken assholes who can hurt you." Dave said. "Last night I caught this guy grabbing her ass." Eddie added. "You kicked his ass right?" Charlie asked.

"I was going to but Y/N wouldn't let me." He replied. "Because I am not some damsel in distress that needs you to save me. Besides he wasn't alone. You would have had your ass handed to you." You said in defense. Eddie shook his head. "Give me more credit. I could have taken all of them." He said. You rolled your eyes again. "I don't have time for this. I need to head to work."

"You're going dressed like that?" Charlie asked. He sounded like an over protective father. "Yes like this. What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" You were confused. It wasn't like you were showing any cleavage or wearing a mini skirt. "Anyone can see your bra from the side." Eddie said almost in a whispered tone. You face palmed. "Oh no. God forbid my bra is visible. Now everywhere I go guys are gonna cream there pants." You said as your voice dripped with sarcasm. "Get real."

"No you get real. Guys are into crazy shit." Eddie shot back. "I'll just tell them I'm married. Oh wait, it won't matter because you have never given me a ring so they never believe me." You jabbed. Eddie let out a small gasp. "I-I have been working on it. "Really? You're finally married to the girl and you haven't given her a ring yet?" Charlie asked shaking his head in disappointment. "I've seriously gotta go. I'll see you at home Eddie." You said as you walked towards your car.

You understood where they were coming from but you were just generally irritated by the whole damn thing. You hated that Eddie felt like he needed to protect you for whatever reason. You actually were more irritated at the mere thought that even Charlie saw you as a delicate damsel that couldn't handle working at a bar. Hell apparently all the guys did.

You didn't want to be viewed as fragile. Not by anyone. Especially not by Eddie. You always thought highly of him. Always thought he could do any and everything. That he was strong mentally and physically. You inwardly groaned. You knew that the real problem was that you still felt like you had to prove yourself to him.

Those days were over. Eddie thought the world of you. He said so himself. But you couldn't shake that feeling. You spent years pining after the damn enimiga that was Eddie Munson. Years of silent torment. Of wanting him to see you as that only girl in the world. Now you had him in your grasp. He loved you, but somehow you felt like you were just still waiting for it to shatter.

You were waiting for it to all disappear as if it was all just a beautiful dream. To put it simply. It felt too good to be true. Sometimes you even sit and wonder if it really was and that you were in fact still in that hospital room in a coma.

You finally arrived at the bar which prompted you to get out of your head. You did not even remember driving and now you were already at your job. You got out of your car and headed inside the Hideout.

You walked towards the back and clocked in with your time card. "Hey kid. I'm Marve. Nice to meet you." Your new coworker greeted you. You have a polite smile. "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you too." Marve then became very serious. "Now Bernie filled me in on what happened last night."

You gave him a nod. "Yeah I'm sorry if my husband upset the customers yesterday and I walked out, I-"

"Are you kidding? Don't apologize at all for that. Those guys were assholes. Bernie banned them from the bar. I was just gonna say that if you experience anything like that again just please let one of us know and we will handle it." Marve explained which shouldn't have surprised you but it did.

"Are you sure? I don't want us to lose customers be-" He shook his head. "No don't even worry about it. You are here to provide a service, do not fool yourself into thinking you are supposed to just take getting touched inappropriately on the job." You smiled genuinely now. "Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate it and I'm sure my husband will too."

You were sure that it wouldn't matter since Eddie was going to still probably want you to quit but hopefully this would get him to relax just a little. Marve clapped once which snapped you out of your thoughts. "So today I'm going to teach you how to use a bar spoon and how to make a few different cocktails."

You raised an eyebrow. "How to use a bar spoon? Its just a spoon. Its pretty self explanatory, isn't it?" You asked. He simply laughed. "Of course, you dear child might think that, that might be the case but it isn't true. It is relatively easy to get a hang of but its important you don't mess it up." "But...its a spoon."

Marve shook his head. "Okay. It is just a spoon but lets just pretend I taught you something absolutely revolutionary." You nodded as you laughed. "Sure okay I can do that." "Okay great. The most important thing about using the bar spoon is how straight you are holding it or the specific angle. I can guarantee it to you your presentation will be off if you can't perfect the spoon usage." He explained. "Does anyone at the bar even care about the presentation?"

Marve stood there in silence as he thought about your question. "Do you always like to burst people's bubbles?" You let out a laugh. "I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to."

He went ahead and continued his explanation of the bar spoon and its uses. That conversation only lasted all of two minutes. He then taught you a few new cocktails to make. Your shift was going by slowly but as it got later more people showed up and time began to fly. Thankfully no one was hitting on you or making you feel uncomfortable.

“Hiya princess, did you miss me?” You turned around and smiled as soon as you saw Eddie. “I don’t want to give you a bigger ego than you already have, but yeah, I might’ve.” He gave you one of his signature smirks. “I believe you still owe me a drink from yesterday.” He stated and you gave him a nod. “What can I get you?” You asked. “Just a beer.” He said. You frowned. “Waaas that the wrong answer or...”He was confused by your facial expression.

“Well don’t you want to see me make one of the drinks I learned how to make today?” You asked him. “Not really, no.” You mock gasped at his response. “What? How rude. I learned how to use a bar spoon and everything.” You responded. He raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it just a spoon? How hard can it be to use it?” He asked. You scoffed and crossed your arms. “Well for your information Munson, the bar spoon is very technical. You have to hold it straight when you pour or you could ruin the presentation.” You explained using Marve’s own words.

“Presentation for what?” You face palmed. “The drink Eds, if you move the spoon or angle it wrong it messes up the drink’s presentation.” Eddie squinted his eyes as he tried to understand. “Since when did the people who come in here care about presentation?” You pinched the bridge of your nose and just walked away to pour your fake spouse a beer. 

“Hey toots can you get me a drink?” You heard the loud voice of a man shout. You were almost done pouring Eddie his beer. “Sure, I’ll be right with you.” You stated not turning away from your task. The guy groaned. “Come on lady. I ain’t got all day.” He complained. Your eyes flickered between that asshole and Eddie. You knew he was going to say something. 

“Hey man she said she’d be right with you. Give her a break.” Eddie said as he decided to speak up. You were quickly trying to serve your husband hoping the guy wouldn’t pay him any mind. You did a speed walk towards him with his full glass of beer. “You got something to say to me punk? Huh? What’s it to ya? You tryna get in that bitches pants? Is that it?” The guy sat up straight now looking very confrontational. Eddie now stood up from his seat. “Hey show her some fucking respect. That’s my god damned wife you’re talking about!” 

“Eddie, please.” You said quietly trying to get him to calm down. “Oh so she’s your little wife? How come she doesn’t have ring? Or did she not want to wear it cos she’s ashamed to be married to you?” The guy asked now chuckling to himself. “The fuck did you just say to me prick?” Eddie asked now speeding over to get face to face with this guy on the other side of the bar. The guy now stood up and was eye level to him. 

“You heard me jackass. Your wife is probably ashamed to be with your little punk ass. Needs to be with a real man. Not some long haired bit-”The guy cut off by Eddie sucker punching him in the face. The sudden act of violence made you jump. “Eddie!” You ran out from behind the bar and towards the two men who were now fighting.

Marve who was tending to people out on the floor at the tables, ran over as well to try to stop the fighting. “Y/N, what the hell happened?” Marve asked as he tried to pull the guy away from Eddie. “I don’t even know, it all happened so fast!” You exclaimed as you tried to pull Eddie back as well. “Eddie you need to calm down!” He wasn’t listening to you. He was too focused on beating the shit out of this guy. “Eddie please!” Nothing. He wasn’t responsive. He was still thrashing around trying to throw punches at the guy. 

“Eddie I remember everything!” You shouted out loud causing him to stop his actions.

Taglist:

@thegirlthatsfalling

@fangirling-4-ever

@lechera-con-leche

@toomanybandstocare

@fujiihime

@sashaphantomhive

@urmomgov

@harrys-tittie

@thedarkwolfserenity

@missgay15

@h-ness1944

@frozenhuntress67

@therezeesworld

@rhijonrs

@yeswhatever33

@mcueveryday

@mattefic

@livasaurasrex

@mel119g

@basketcaseeeeee

@kaitcreatesart

@bleachbetch

@grungegrrrl

@theforgottenages

@eddieussy 

@mattymurdocksbitch

@brxkenartt

@iamaslutforcoffee

@metal-sunflower

@midnightmystic

[vee-is-a-clown]

Log Entry #4

Red,

You would not believe the day that I've had. I am mentally exhausted. I need to write all this down. Where do I start?

First thing I did today was go into town with Kosmo to buy food. I wore my fancy coat and put my hair in a ponytail. It makes me look like I have something important to do and people don't bother me. I got bread, potatoes, carrots, honey, and tea. I could get more but I don't have the time to cook nor the patience to learn how.

I got home and put everything away. I then set off with Kosmo to go to the McClain's house. I was not excited. I didn't want to be weird about it. I absolutely was though. I was absolutely freaking out.

I got there and Mrs. McClain was worried because I never go to their house. I told her that everything was fine and that I wanted to talk to someone. I don't think she believed me. She invited me in anyway. I honestly don't know what I expected. Would she not invite me in? Probably not.

She sat me down in the dining room and left to make some tea. In that short time, Veronica came in and asked me how I was doing, Rachel passed through and waved at me, and Nadia skipped in and asked where Kosmo was. She then left to go pet him. She's such an energetic little girl, I wonder how they get her to sit still.

The McClain family truly amazes me sometimes. Anyway, Mrs. McClain came back with a pot of tea, apple slices, and honey. I keep telling her that I don't need her to put effort into our interactions but she won't listen. I don't see why she does things like cutting apples or even making tea. It really doesn't matter. Infact, it makes it worse because I don't want to be ungrateful and not eat the food but if I eat to much, then I'm taking advantage of her hospitality.

We talk for a bit. I think it was around noon at this point. Lance stumbled in, looking dazed. It was as if he just woke up. I didn't exactly recognize him but he's the only McClain that I haven't seen and he perfectly matches his mother's description. He yawned and looked around until he saw me and I thought I was going to die. Nothing happened but he looked at me for longer than someone normally would as if trying to recognize why a stranger was having tea with his mom. Completely reasonable, honestly. It still freaked me out though.

What happened next was so confusing. He called me "That boy from the hospital" and asked me how I was doing since I left the hospital. How the hell does he know me from the hospital? I didn't say anything so he kept talking and asked me where I'd been. He said that he hadn't seen me in ages. Again, what the hell? I have no memory of even seeing him. How does he remember me? It's been about 5 years since I've worked with Shiro, in the hospital. He seemed a little offended that I didn't remember our interactions.

Also, apparently his family has been refusing to tell him my name or current occupation which is funny. I would do that to Shiro if he didn't already know everybody.

Anyway, Lance sat down next to me and had an apple which I didn't mind and Mrs. McClain luckily didn't scold him for. I hate when people get in trouble when I'm around. It makes everything awkward. But Lance just sat there and Mrs. McClain told him that I was here as a guest so he should be mindful. She then continued our conversation.

It was hard but I managed to bring up my possible need for an assistant which confused Lance a lot. He still somehow didn't piece together that I'm a witch. Mrs. McClain laughed which scared me because I don't know if she's laughing at how stupid the situation is, how stupid I am, or some silly little thing in her head.

Anyway, Lance finally learned that I'm a witch and volunteered. Yeah, I'm screwed. It was at that point that I realized that I hadn't thought this through. I was committed now. I'm going to have to work with this boy who apparently knows me.

Also, he definitely doesn't live close enough to me to do the job. It's an hour's walk and judging based off today, he wouldn't get here until after I would actually need him. I'll have to make a deal with Allura for him to stay at her inn.

I stayed at the McClain's a little bit longer but I left pretty quickly. As in, I stayed for 15 minutes then left before my ability to be social left without me.

That interaction was so stressful. Sadly, I'm going to have to do that more because I just decided that I needed somebody to help me. I really am an idiot sometimes.

After I went home, I was productive and made some potions (finally). It was a nice destresser. When I make potions, it feels natural. If only talking to people felt like that.

Here are the potions I made today:

Hunk's 5 fire potions

Farmer's 5 plant growth potions

[fraks]

i hate making posts like this, but i am honestly at a loss as to what to do, and maybe someone here has an idea. for the record: i live in germany, so solutions that might work in the united states probably won't work for me.

i'm the child of a mentally ill mother and a neglectful father. growing up, i was systematically abused, both psychologically and emotionally, by my father's girlfriend while he stood and watched, and still to this day denies it ever happened. i developed c-ptsd and social anxiety disorder as a result. i had two rounds of cbt years ago, which, while good for me, didn't "cure" me, and all the meds i tried didn't help either.

that's not even the problem though, only necessary background info. in august of 2020, my partner of 13 years suddenly up and left me for someone else. unable to sleep or eat, i was put on sick leave for a few months, which cost me my job and, subsequently, my apartment. with the housing market being what it is, plus the covid situation, i wasn't able to find a new place and have been officially homeless since march 2021. i stayed with my little brother for a bit, but my "family" eventually abandoned me, too, when i didn't get better fast enough, and threw me out.

none of my "friends" were able or willing to help, either, until i reconnected with an old internet buddy on the other side of the country who, without any hesitation, offered me her guest room for however long i needed it. i hate having to rely on near-strangers (we hadn't been in contact for years), but i was in no position to refuse. so i am currently staying in said guest room. the problem? my friend and her husband are ultra-religious evangelical nutjobs. as in, if they knew i was queer, i would be thrown out immediately. and as in, they hit their toddler when she doesn't obey them because proverbs say it's okay to hit your kids. and of course my friend isn't vaccinated, just to complete the picture.

i don't know how much longer i can survive being here. my friend lives in a tiny village (population of 720), so there's no public transport and i'm stuck inside this house (and mainly this one room) nearly 24/7. my social anxiety disorder makes it impossible for me to just apply for unemployment benefits—i'm trying, but the system isn't meant for people who are unemployed and homeless at the same time, and i'm falling through the cracks. i need to get back to my hometown of berlin (so i can finish my engineering degree), but to get an apartment there, i need to prove i have an income, and to get an income, i need a proper place to stay. i also need to prove i've paid my rent for the past three months, but as i haven't lived in a rental place of my own since march, i don't have that proof, which means my application for apartments automatically gets thrown out for being incomplete.

and amidst all this chaos, my brain has decided now is the perfect time to relive all the childhood trauma and i get at least one major panic attack per day. i don't remember when i last spent a day without crying. and ofc i can't see a therapist because i need to know where i'll be staying for a few months before i can be put on any therapist's waiting list. oh and i'm about to lose my health insurance cause unless i get unemployment benefits or find a new full-time job, i'd have to pay nearly 300€ a month, which i simply do not have, especially given that i'm already paying 500€+ a month from my meagre savings for a storage unit that has all my stuff in it.

until now, i've survived by talking to online buddies like @justplainsalty and @leliesblou and @cminerva and others in the mfmm+leverage fandoms in particular, and reading posts by @wilwheaton and @furiousgoldfish on abuse and trauma to reaffirm i'm not crazy, but i am so profoundly lonely in this place, and i honestly don't see myself surviving long beyond the new year.

so if anyone has any ideas or advice on what to do, please reach out, and feel free to reblog or share in other ways if you know anyone who might be able to help.

[laskyy]

Hey everyone! Sorry for the wait, but I didn't have much inspiration this week. This imagine that I wrote is probably not gonna be my best, but I hope you enjoy it, because I still worked hard for it! Love you 💖

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Took you long enough

Tw: food, kissing (let me know if I missed something pls)

Genre: extreme fluff

---------------------------------------------------

It was around 8:30 a.m. when you heard your phone ring, so you picked it up without looking at the caller ID because you were to sleepy to care at this point.

"Hello?" You said in a groggy voice.

"Hi sleeping beauty, did I wake you up?" The voice you couldn't get out of your head giggled.

"Oh Intak! Hi there, and well kind of, but I was about to wake up anytime soon so it's fine!" You said as your voice just sounded happier, because of Intak.

Oh and by the way you had a big fat crush on Intak and you were pretty sure he felt the same way, because you guys shared a lot of affection with each other that friends don't. Like kissing the corners of each other's lips, you have slept together in the same bed and you shared longing hugs that neither of you guys wanted to pull away from, but you were still being cautious as you didn't want to move to fast and scare him away.

"Okay then! I called to ask if you wanted to come over and have breakfast with us! You know, to catch up since we've both been busy and I want to see you, if that's okay with you." Intak said in a soothing tone and at this point you were thankful he couldn't see you blush.

"I'd love to come over Intak! I also want to see you." You said and you were sure that Intak could tell by the tone of your voice that you were smiling.

"Alright! I'll see you in 20 cutie!"

"Okay, see you!" You said as you hung up and couldn't help but blush at the nickname.

You got ready and passed by your and Intak's favourite bakery to buy some croissants and other pasteries for everyone to eat.

As you got to the dorm you texted Intak instead of knocking on the door, because you didn't know if the other boys were already awake or not.

As soon as you texted him the door opened and your favourite boy was standing right in front of you with his slightly messy hair.

"Good morning Y/n! Come in!" Intak said as he closed the door and pulled you into a warm hug.

"Good morning! How are you feeling today?"

"I'm great! And you love?" Yeah, you weren't that great after hearing that nickname, it drove you wild! And you guys weren't even dating yet!

"I-I'm good too! And I brought some food!" You said happily as you pulled away from the hug and showed him the bag of pasteries.

"Aww Y/n! You're just the sweetest! Come here, let's go to the kitchen while the other get ready to come down to eat." He said as he grabbed your hand and guided you to sit down on one of the chairs in the kitchen next to him.

"I really missed you Y/n! Can I hug you again?" He said as he gave you those puppy eyes you could never say no to.

You didn't even hesitate, you obviously accepted as Intak englufed you in a beat hug as he put his arms around your shoulders and you put yours around his torso.

"You smell really good!" You said against his chest.

"Oh, thanks I showered!" He said as you both laughed and pulled away from the hug.

Intak was the most handsome guy you had ever laid eyes on. And as cheesy as it sounds you could not stop looking at him. He was just that impactful (Intaktful - no? Sorry, moving on).

"What's wrong cutie? Is there something on my face or you just can't get enough of me?"

You laughed "Oh, you are so full of yourself. But yes I was admiring you, I have to admit it"

"It's good to know you're as smitten for me as I am for you" He said and kissed the corner of your lips softly.

You couldn't help but blush and hide your face in his broad chest as you felt it vibrate with laughter.

"You're so cute when you're shy." He said as he gave you head pats.

You guys pulled away and were just updating each other on your livres while you played with Intak's fingers, a habit that always made you feel at ease.

Eventually, the boys started coming to the kitchen and they couldn't miss the small acts of affection and little looks and giggles you shared with their member Intak, and honestly they just wanted you guys to stop tip-toeing on your feelings. They wanted you guys to realise you were, in fact, perfect for each other.

"Good morning lovebirds!" Jiung said as he softly laughed.

"Good morning!" Both you and Intak answered at the same time.

"Oh who brought food?" Soul asked as he saw the bag from the bakery down the street.

"It was Y/n! They were kind enough to bring food for breakfast!" Intak said as he pulled you closer to him.

"You brought quite a lot as well, but since you were so considerate I'm sure Intak won't let it go to waste!" Keeho said teasingly.

Intak blushed as he looked at your interwined hands.

"Aww look at them being awkward!" Theo said as he looked at Intak and you.

"Yeah They're cute! But I'm hungry and we have work later on so we need to eat!" Jongseob said as he sat down on one of the chairs as well.

You guys were eating and you lost count of how many times Intak wiped your lips or even got hair out of your face. You also lost count of how many times the members gagged! Yeah, they sure love pda.

Once you all finished eating you offered to clean up since they needed to recharge for work later in the day.

You were cleaning the kitchen when Intak wrapped his arms around your waist and softly backhugged you.

"Hey cutie, need help?"

"Hey! It's fine I'm almost finished!"

"Good, because I wanna cuddle!"

While you and Intak shared this sweet conversation in the kitchen, the other members were talking in the living room.

"Don't you guys think it's about time they start dating?" Theo stated impatiently.

"Yeah, but they just won't make a move to ask each other!" Keeho said.

"Maybe if we say something they'll consider it?" Soul said in a questioning way.

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! But they won't listen to just anyone. How about Jongseob says something about that! Since he's the baby and yeah you get it!" Jiung suggested while the other nodded in agreement.

Later on in the day the guys had to head off to the van so they could go to the company and it was also time to get the plan in action!

"Can we meet up tomorrow?" Intak asked as he caressed your cheek softly.

"Yeah, I'd love that actually." You said and pecked his cheek while he giggled softly.

"Look at them! We really have to do something! They've been in this stage for ages! They already look like a couple why do they assume themselves as friends? My God Jongseob do your thing!" Jiung said as he just wanted his two friends to understand they both wanted the same thing.

The boys went to the door and blocked it as Jongseob went in front to talk.

"Intak, Y/n. I just wanted to say that the both of you would look like a great couple! I mean you already do, why not make it Official! Please! You guys want this so bad! And we're not letting you get out until you're both dating each other, so good luck!" Jongseob said as he exited the dorm alongside the other members and let you two stay inside.

"Wow that was... Wow!" Was all you manage to say as you were still in shock.

"Yeah! But well we wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of them would we?" Intak said as looked you in the eyes.

"But do you really want this? I don't want us to date just because of peer pressure!" You said as you wanted to make sure Intak really wanted to be with you.

"I really want this! The reason I hadn't asked you yet, was because I never found the right moment to do it but now that they sort of gave us this oportunity I'm not wasting it! Do you want this as much as I do?" He said as he held both of your hands as a way to calm you down.

"I really do! I've been waiting for this for a long time! I didn't ask you before because I didn't want to scare you away!" You said as you smiled shyly.

"Well then, do you want to date me officially?" Intak asked as he looked at you hopefully.

"Of course I do bub!" You said as you hugged him tightly" You said and you could hear the members on the other side of the door cheering for you.

When you pulled away Intak kissed you right away and honestly it felt better than you could have possibly imagined.

"I love you Intak" You said as you pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you too Y/n" He said while leaning in for another kiss which you gladly accepted.

After a while you opened the door and were met by the members cheering for you.

A chorus of "Awws" was heard when Intak kissed your head softly.

"Took you long enough!" Theo said as the rest of you laughed.

---------------------------------------------------

Hope you guys liked this imagine! And once again happy birthday to our puppy Intak! Hope he has a great day! And I hope you guys have a great day as well!! Love you 💖💖💖

[mimisempai]

You are making every day a little less ordinary

Summary:

During one of their usual lunches in the TVA cafeteria, Casey, curious about his friend's datinf life, wonders what a date between Mobius and Loki is like. Loki remembers and recounts his most memorable dates.

Or

5 times where Mobius surprises Loki and once where Loki returns the favor

Notes:

Tumblr request : 5+1 about their dates with one being a picinic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32863855

3042 words - Rating G

"Hey Loki, mind if I ask you a question?"

Casey and Loki were eating lunch in the TVA cafeteria, as they regularly did. Loki was still surprised at how Casey had somehow grown fond of him, where many people kept their distance. Which he couldn't blame them for, given his past.

So he was enjoying these moments with Casey.

"Since when do you need to ask?"

Casey looked a little hesitant, "well, it's a little bit of a personal question."

"Go on and shoot." Loki replied, curious as to what the man was going to ask him.

"Ahem... you and Mobius are together."

"I think that's obvious, since we don't hide it."

"Yeah, yeah, and so considering it's been over a year, um... I guess... you guys have dated already... and uh... I have a hard time imagining what you and Mobius can do on a date." Casey paused, his cheeks on fire before continuing, "No, forget it. I should never have asked you something like that."

Loki shook his head and laughed, "No, no, I have no problem talking about this. You're talking to someone who didn't even know what a date was until a few months ago..."

Loki straightened up a bit in his chair and continued talking, "Looking back, I'd say our first date took place here."

"Here?"

1.

After their return from Pompeii, Loki had fallen asleep in the middle of their research. Mobius had woken him up and taken him to the cafeteria. Thinking back, even if at that moment they were not together, for Loki it was still a first date.

There were only them in the cafeteria, the light was rather dim, which had given even more of an impression of intimacy and in addition there was the close way they were sitting, their legs touching.

Loki remembered perfectly all the details of that moment.

Those few minutes of respite, where they had gotten to know each other, or rather where Loki had gotten to know Mobius.

"By the way, at your desk, that magazine?"

"Yeah. The one on jet skis?"

"Yes. Why do you have that?"

"Because they're awesome."

There was something touching about Mobius as he spoke of his passion, a passion he had never practiced.

"So, why read about them?"

"It just helps remind me of what we're fighting for."

"I mean, you really believe in all this stuff, don't you?"

"I don't get hung up on, "Believe, not believe." I just accept what is."

He was surprised by what followed, not by the content, because it was clear that Mobius really believed in the cause he was working for, but he was surprised that Mobius did not feel attacked, that they both left the dialogue open, without judgment.

"Actually it's exactly the same thing. Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose."

Mobius' arguments, in the context in which Mobius lived, had held up surprisingly well.

They had not agreed, but they respected each other's opinions. If not for the context, of Loki in captivity of sorts, and the lie upon which the TVA had been built, the evening could almost have ended in "My place or yours." Because undoubtedly they had gotten closer at that point.

So yes, it was indeed for Loki their first date and that's what he told Casey.

**********

"Honestly Loki, I have to say that this is an original first date, but ultimately a true reflection of your couple." reacted Casey with a wink before continuing, "but now I'm curious what your other dates were like, if there were any at all."

Loki laughed softly, "Oh there were, many. Mobius, knowing that the concept of a date was totally unknown to me, redoubled his creativity and used this pretext to make me live all sorts of unknown experiences."

"You don't want me to feel sorry for you, do you?"

Loki smiled again, "Oh no, I have nothing to complain about at all. I'll tell you the most memorable ones for me. One of them was a picnic."

"Oh?" Casey's eyes sparkled with interest, as he settled down to listen to Loki's tale.

2.

Loki was reading on the couch when Mobius hugged him from behind, kissing the top of his head.

Then Mobius had said in his ear, "Sweetheart, don't be scared, I'm going to blindfold you, because I'd like to take you somewhere and keep it a surprise until the end."

Loki trusted Mobius completely so it was easy for him to agree.

"I'm really curious though."

Once the blindfold was tied, he felt the light caress of a kiss on his lips and Mobius took his hand.

He let himself be guided.

He heard the typical sound of a timedoor appearing, and then letting himself be pulled by Mobius' hand, he recognized the usual sensation that accompanied the crossing of the door.

He felt a difference in the ground under his feet, like grass perhaps.

Deprived of sight, his other senses were alert, so he also felt the warmth of the sun on his face and the smell of flowers reached his nostrils, while he heard birds chirping around them.

Mobius was now holding him by the elbow and guiding him gently.

"You still okay, sweetheart?"

Loki simply nodded, a smile on his face because he could feel the excitement in his lover's voice.

After a while, Mobius stopped him, and made him sit slowly on the floor, on something soft. Then Mobius gently removed the blindfold.

Loki's eyes adjusted to the radiant light even though they were in shadow, and he took in the sight.

77_Frigga... the little planet Mobius had already taken him to when Loki had told him he missed the starry skies of Asgard.

Loki looked around, he was sitting on a blanket spread on the ground, under a tree that while providing shade, did not deprive them of the beautiful light. They were in a field of flowers, the same paradisiacal vision as on their first visit here. Mobius sat next to him and clearly waited for his reaction.

Loki leaned in and put his lips to Mobius', letting him know in a slow, passionate kiss how much he enjoyed his surprise.

Mobius turned to a basket that Loki hadn't noticed and began to pull out everything needed for a perfect picnic.

"Did you pack all this?" Mobius nodded his head and Loki kissed him gently again.

They enjoyed the meal peacefully, chatting about everything and anything. Once the leftovers were put away, Loki lay down on his back, his head on Mobius' lap

"Thanks love, that was amazing."

Mobius, a little embarrassed, leaned over and kissed him tenderly.

They had finished the afternoon while enjoying the heavenly surroundings and each other's presence.

**********

Loki lost in his memories, was brought out of his reverie by Casey's whisper of admiration, "Aww, Mobius is really dedicated, you know you are lucky right?"

"Don't worry Casey, I'm totally aware of how lucky I am."

This reminded him, another original date, another surprise from Mobius that he was quick to tell Casey about

3.

Sounds from the kitchen woke Loki from his sleep. He stretched, shivering because the sheet had slipped down to his waist.

"You're awake."

Loki looked up to find Mobius smiling at him, standing by the bedroom door, dressed in just sweatpants and a t-shirt, his longer hair still disheveled and a budding beard. A perfect view to start the day, in Loki's opinion.

What caught his eye was the tray in his hands.

Mobius moved closer, carefully perching himself on the bed and balancing the tray on his lap.

"I wanted to surprise you." Mobius smiled, offering the tray to Loki and laughing affectionately as he watched him contort himself to sit up. "Breakfast in bed or let's call it a breakfast date. I thought it would be a nice change, since it's our day off."

Loki's mouth suddenly watered between what he saw and what he smelled.

Usually they had a light breakfast, but on days off, getting up later, breakfast also served as lunch.

On the tray was a plate of bacon and eggs, buttered toast, a small pile of pancakes covered in syrup, a large glass of orange juice, and an assortment of fresh fruit.

"Oh Love, you spoil me." said Loki, a piece of pancake already in his mouth.

Mobius shakes his head with a small laugh. "I always want to spoil you."

Loki leaned forward to capture Mobius' lips in a sweet kiss. Mobius took the opportunity to sneak his hand through Loki's hair and pulled him to him while being careful not to flip the tray.

When they separated, Loki was out of breath.

"Let's eat."

Mobius sat next to Loki, the tray resting on their knees. They ate breakfast, talking, feeding each other.

Later, Loki hummed over one last incredibly delicious bite, his head resting on Mobius' shoulder.

Definitely, this dating concept was quite interesting.

*********

"Okay Loki, thanks to you, now I'm hungry." Casey paused for a moment and then resumed staring Loki up and down, "But I wonder where you put it all..."

Loki replied with a mischievous smile, " Workout, Casey, workout..." His impish look left no doubt as to what kind of workout he was referring to.

Casey pretended to cover his ears. "I don't want to hear about it!"

Loki chuckled, "Too bad you won't hear about another memorable date of ours."

Casey, calmed down, too interested in what was next.

4.

"Uh, wow, that's... that's gorgeous." said Loki, looking around their living room.

The entire room was bathed in a soft glow from a multitude of small candles, scattered here and there.

"Do you like it?" the voice of Mobius whispered in his ear as his lover took off his jacket, before hugging him from behind.

"Hmm." Loki nodded in the embrace.

"I figured we both needed a little break, are you hungry?"

"I'm starving." replied Loki turning his head to drop a kiss on Mobius' cheek.

His lover directed him to the table that Loki had not noticed, perfectly set, bathed in soft light, and garnished with two steaming plates and glasses of fresh wine.

Mobius gallantly pulled out the chair for him to sit on and took a seat opposite him.

They began to eat, discussing their day, their work, and all the while hardly letting go of each other's hands that were entwined on the table.

Then after the dessert, Mobius got up, took the remote control of the music system and a soft music invaded the atmosphere. Under the eyes of Loki, he approached him and offered his hand, « May I have this dance, sweetheart?"

Loki nodded, smiling softly, and took the outstretched hand. Mobius immediately wrapped his arms around him and they began to sway to the soft notes coming from the speakers.

Loki sighed with contentment, his face buried in Mobius' neck.

They must have looked like the epitome of sap and fluff, but at that moment, Loki didn't care. This was them, here, in the privacy of their lives. Their happiness.

They continued to sway for long moments, so absorbed in each other's presence that they didn't notice that the music had stopped.

**********

"Loki... you know I just feel like I'm listening to a digest of all the romcoms out there?"

"Romcom?"

"Romantic comedy.Haha I know something you don't."

Casey laughed cheerfully at Loki.

"Very funny, but do you know what karaoke is?"

"Yep... I'll remind you, since the fish thing, I've been catching up, and I'm learning every day. So what about karaoke?" Casey frowned for a moment and then exclaimed, "No! Karaoke? Who? Mobius or you? Or both?"

Loki chuckled at Casey's excitement.

"Mobius came up with the idea for the date, but I did the singing.

"Tell me about it!"

5.

"Mobius..."

Loki stood on the stage of the small bar, and pointed to his lover leaning at the bar, "Mobius, my partner, brought me here because he dreams of hearing me sing in my native language for him. No one will be able to say I don't like to satisfy my beloved." He blew a fingertip kiss to Mobius under the whistling and wolf howls of the customers. He waved to the DJ and the music started to play. He began to sing in Asgardian, the words and notes flowing naturally on his tongue.

So many people around me without a meaning or a goal

It's always someone left

Tell me, why does it always be like that

Someone from up above must have seen me

And yet thought that it's his turn,

my turn to meet someone who knows what I need

it seems like my lonely days

For its always gone

As he sang this, he began to walk towards Mobius, his eyes in his. He saw the understanding in Mobius' eyes, who, understanding perfectly all languages, grasped perfectly the meaning of the song for Loki and him.

For I have the heaven around the corner

My own angel in a bed

As if all the heavens tiny stars

Sang for me, sang for you

In a wonderful refrain

You are the heaven

around the corner for me

When he reached the end of the song, Mobius' eyes were filled with emotion.

As soon as the last note came out of his mouth, Loki hugged Mobius and kissed him, ignoring the cheers and applause of the customers.

When they separated to catch their breath, Mobius asked him, his forehead against his, in a joking tone, « Am I your own angel?"

Loki grasped his head in his hands and replied seriously, his mouth against his, "You are Mobius. You are the angel that brought me out of my darkness. You saved me from myself." Then he captured his lover's lips again, putting into the kiss all what Mobius meant to him.

**********

"Loki, I think I'll be fine, I think I've had my fill of sweets for the day, if not for the next month. If I get diabetes, you'll be responsible for it."

Loki laughed again and shrugged, "Hey! You're the one who wanted it."

"Well, at least you have a lot of work to do to be on the same level as him, because apart from the karaoke, he still made the most effort."

Loki smiled cheekily, "Hm, I think I made up for it with our one-year anniversary date, but since you don't want any more sweetness... I'll shut up."

Casey pointed his fingers at him, "Ah no Mr. God of Mischief, you're not getting away with this!"

Loki surrendered and began his last tale.

+1

This time it was Loki who had surprised Mobius by blindfolding him and leading him through a timedoor.

When they reached their destination, he slowly untied the blindfold, "You can open your eyes, love."

Mobius opened his eyes and gasped. Then he laughed softly.

Loki hugged him from behind and whispered in his ear, "Happy Anniversary my love. It was here a year ago that I started to fall in love with you."

They were in the TVA cafeteria. Alone, because Loki had made sure of that.

A table, THE table was elegantly set.

Mobius let himself be guided by Loki, who said softly, "I know it's unconventional, that we weren't a couple yet, not at all, but-"

He could not continue, Mobius had closed his mouth with a tender kiss.

Pulling back, he placed a finger on Loki's lips and replied, "Don't justify yourself.First of all, since when are we conventional?" he raised an eyebrow before continuing, "Secondly, you weren't the only one who was already feeling something at that moment sweetheart."

It was he who pulled Loki to the table.

They sat there, almost the same way they had that day, their knees touching in a familiar way. But this time the rest of their bodies were close. They shared the meal, interspersed with renewed oaths, smiles and casual conversation. Just savoring the joy of being together.

Mobius noticed, however, that the closer they got to the end of the meal, the more excited Loki seemed, almost as if he couldn't wait for the dinner to end. So much that once the last bite of dessert was swallowed, he stood up and bounced over to Mobius and held out his hand.

"Our night is not over, I have one more surprise. Can I put the blindfold back on you?"

Amused and intrigued by Loki's excitement, Mobius nodded.

Loki tied the blindfold behind his head, placed a kiss on his forehead and took his hand.

He felt them pass through a timedoor again, then suddenly felt a great warmth around him. He recognized Loki's magic that passed over him, and suddenly felt warm sand under his naked feet.

The blindfold came off and he let his eyes adjust to the light.

For the second time that evening, he gasped, and then almost cried with emotion at the sight before him.

He realized he was in a bathing suit when Loki made him put on a life jacket. Then his lover gently pushed him towards the jetski that was waiting for him at the end of the pontoon. "Go my love, go..."

He moved forward a few steps and then turned back to Loki who was looking at him with a loving smile. "And you? Don't you want to come?"

"You deserve to have your first round alone, don't worry, I'll be there."

Winking at him, Loki pointed to two lounge chairs under an umbrella.

"Go my love."

Loki went backwards to settle on the deckchair and with a cocktail in hand, he did not leave the eyes of his lover who listened to the instructions of the instructor before finally making his first ride of jet-ski.

Long minutes later, he saw Mobius coming towards him, a bright smile on his face, he whispered again, "Happy Anniversary my love."

________

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd and english is not my native language I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

Song used for the karaoke date : Himlen runt hörnet by Lisa Nilsson

Whole series of oneshot here : X

[libertarianblue]

hey im curious about something, I have seen only some of your blog, and, yeah i quite get your distaste for authoritarianism, and to some extent i understand it leaking into you having a distaste towards communist leaning ideologies, but, in any case, if your distaste is towards authoritarianism more so than some other stuff, what are your thoughts on the more libertarian kinds of communist ideology? say, anarchy communism, syndicalism, mutualism, that kind of stuff. no state needed.

I dozed off for a bit partway through responding and woke up feeling wired (jeeze, I hope I can get to bed now) so I wrote more than I intended to. Here's a tl;dr then I'll put the long answer behind a cut:

TL;DR: If anyone wants to live under socialism I think they should form a commune and do it. I genuinely hope it goes well. You're right that my primary concern is freedom so I wouldn't object to a theoretical totally free socialist system. But I personally like capitalism, and all else being equal I'd choose a capitalist society over a socialist one just as a matter of preference.

I wouldn't say I'm 100% against any state at all, as fun as ancap memes are. But yeah you're right that my biggest concern is the anti-authoritarian aspect and keeping the government from overstepping its bounds.

There's examples of small communities that work well under socialist systems, especially communes and religious groups. Places where everybody is there voluntarily and is a true believer in what the group is doing, or maybe in adoration of their leader. I'm not sure it's scalable though.

Apply it to an entire country and you need to answer questions like how do we keep everybody devoted and productive. Any system based on "From each according to their ability, to each according to their need" tends to break down when cynicism is introduced. People realize they get the same outcome if they work at 100% or 75% and then you get cascading supply issues. Firing underperformers doesn't matter since they're still provided for, so now you have to figure out what to do with them (and the people that don't participate at all) that doesn't involve state violence.

Another big question is how you manage distribution at scale without some kind of central planning, and that's basically primed to become the next politburo. I'm not saying these problems are insurmountable, I'm just saying that I personally don't know what the answers are. I have suggestions, but they'd all sway things either back toward authoritarianism or the free market.

That brings me to my last point. You're already allowed to live as a socialist in the US. I'm not sure private capitalist societies would be allowed if the US was socialist. That doesn't work for me, because honestly I like capitalism. It's not without adversity, but I'd be a much weaker man if I hadn't faced those challenges. Most of my complaints with the system have little or nothing to do with capitalism, so I don't feel an urgency in replacing it. So if I had to choose between two hypothetical equal societies- one liberty minded and socialist, one liberty minded and capitalist? I'd probably choose the capitalist one. I think I'm better suited for it.

I hope that answers your question, anon. I appreciate it and the fact you asked in good faith instead of just telling me to eat a bullet or whatever, so I hope you found the answer to be in good faith, too. Hope you have a good night. I'm up way past my bedtime so I've gotta try to get to sleep ASAP.

[managedmischiefs]

north//chapter twenty

genre: fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of canonical violence and deaths, lmk if I missed anything

word count: 4k

summary: Spencer is getting reacquainted with life outside of prison, and he gets a not-so-great phone call.

pairing: season twelve spencer reid x oc

please remember to comment, like, and reblog!!

AMELIA

Spencer and I managed to sleep through the entire day and the majority of the night. After all, the previous day was probably one of the most eventful of my entire life and it left me absolutely exhausted. I can't quite speak for Spencer because I'm sure he's had much longer days than yesterday, especially when he has been away for cases, but it was still stressful and way too long for both of us.

I wake up before Spencer as the sun starts to rise the next day, the sunlight pouring in through the opened window on the other side of the room. Before I even consider getting out of bed or looking at my phone, I look to my side to check on Spencer. He's sleeping soundly, his cheek pressed against his pillow and his hand on my side of the bed, no longer wrapped around mine. He looks absolutely angelic at this moment, his mouth hanging open and his body completely relaxed.

I promised Spencer that I'd be here for him and that I wouldn't leave the bed without him. I've never broken a promise to him before and I don't plan on starting now. So, moving as little as possible so I don't disturb him, I sit up against the headboard, reaching into my bedside table for my journal. I pop open the top and start furiously scribbling down everything I can remember from the last two or so days and how I feel about it, how excited I am to have Spencer home again, and how terrified I am to have Spencer home again.

I barely even notice it when Spencer starts squirming beside me, and my attention is only taken away from my journal when his hand grabs onto my thigh. I smile down at his suddenly tiny figure, finding that he's already looking up at me with a tired gaze.

"Good morning, love," I chirp, tossing my journal onto the floor and sinking back under the duvet in an attempt to absorb some of his radiating body heat. Since he already touched me and he's seemingly feeling okay in the morning sun, I let my hand stray and trail through his flat curls. "Did you sleep well? You didn't wake me up."

Spencer sucks his lips between his teeth, shrugging softly. "I woke up a few times. I just--" he wiggles his hips as he tries to come up with an excuse, "I didn't need to wake you up. I didn't need to bother you. Having you here was enough."

I bring my hand to the back of Spencer's neck, huffing with some slight annoyance, "You're not a bother. You never have and you never will be," Spencer just shrugs dismissively in response, and reaches his hands up to rub his eyes. Spencer has never been good at these kinds of conversations and I imagine he's far too tired to entertain a lecture about how important he is. So I make a mental note to bring this topic back up as I sit up and stretch. "Alright, well, do you want some breakfast? I can make us something to eat."

"Yeah, sure," he nods, ducking away from my grasp and quickly sliding out of bed, putting on a pair of shoes I hadn't realized he set up on his side of the bed.

I reach for a pair of sweatpants but when I look up to find Spencer frozen in his spot, staring at the bed, I drop the pants and sit up on my knees. The sheets are rustled and the duvet is in a heap under me, and he's very fixated on this. His arms are glued to his side but his fingers are twitching like he's dying to use them.

"Spence? Everything okay?" I ask gently, and like the other instances where he gets lost in a daydream, he doesn't react to me. "Spencer?" I call again in hopes of getting some sort of response. But his fingers just twitch and he takes a long, frustrated breath. "Talk to me," I don't know if pressing the issue will help, but if I don't at least try to get him to talk, then I'll never figure out what his issue is. "I just wanna help you, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

Spencer quickly covers his face with his hands, his breathing becoming labored and heavy, chest heaving. "The bed. It's the bed. It's-- I need-- it's the bed."

It looks like a bed to me. It's a messy bed, sure, but it's just a bed to me. I pause for a second to try to get my brain to match Spencer's. I try to see what he is seeing, but all I see is a bed that we just used for its intended purpose. It just needs to be made, that's all. I can't see into Spencer's brain so I have to resort to asking. "What about the bed?"

"I--" he drops his hands, balling them up into fists again, "The bed is supposed to be made. I need to make the bed. It needs to be made or else they're gonna come and I'll get in trouble. It-- the-- the bed needs to be made."

Oh, this poor baby. My heart aches for him. Not all of him made it out of that prison cell. Part of him is still there. He's not here with me. He didn't really come home.

"Spencer, you're not gonna get in trouble here. It's just me. It's just Lia," My voice shakes as I try to speak, my hands pressed to my cheeks to continuously wipe the tears that start to fall. "I'm never gonna yell at you or hurt you or get mad because you didn't make your bed. Dove, you can make the bed if you want to, but you don't have to. It's okay. I'm not gonna be mad. You won't get in trouble. It's just me."

Spencer stares at me, his eyes wide and his lips parted. His hands aren't twitching anymore but they're still reaching towards the bed. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me in bewilderment.

I compose myself with a deep breath, wiping my cheeks quickly and climbing off the bed. "Dove, make the bed, please. I want you to do anything that makes you feel better. But if you choose not to, I'm not gonna be mad," I step towards Spencer, holding my hands out in front of me and not expecting him to grab them. "I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna start cooking, and you come down when you're ready, okay?"

I give Spencer one more attempt at a convincing smile before turning and going downstairs. My first stop is to the living room, and I pop the record into the player that Spencer had put on yesterday. If it did something to comfort him yesterday, hopefully it will do the same today. I grab both of our phones and start cooking breakfast.

I mix batter for waffles in a bowl as I check my notifications, sifting through a whole load of texts. My groupchat with my friends has a couple hundred texts, starting off with lots of questions and concerns about Spencer from yesterday, asking if he's okay, if he's home, wondering how happy we are. I have other texts from Wendy and Mike, asking the same types of questions that my friends did. I send some quick responses to all of them and let them know that we're home, we slept for a very long time, and that I'll contact them later with more updates.

Spencer's quiet footsteps approach and I turn to face him, breathing a sigh of relief when I find he's not so worked up anymore. "I hope waffles are okay."

Once I've closed the waffle maker and let it start cooking, I glance over my shoulder to ee what Spencer is doing. He's sitting gingerly at the island, placing his elbows on the granite and eyes darting around the room. Honestly, I don't even know why he sat there. He absolutely hated sitting there and eating yesterday, and it made him have some sort of flashback. Maybe it's because he started off the morning with the prison-bed situation, and now the natural order of events in the day is to be transported right to prison-breakfast.

"Hey, bub, you don't have to sit at the table," I say casually, trying not to bring too much attention to it. "You didn't like that yesterday. But you seemed better when we sat on the floor so we can do that again, or we can go on the couch or the balcony." I don't even have time to see his reaction before the waffle maker beeps, and I have to whip around to pull the waffle out.

I can hear Spencer shuffling behind me, and then I feel his shoulder brushing against my leg as he slides down to the floor beside me. I put the waffle onto the plate and hand it down to him, then open the drawer above his head to grab a fork.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbles, catching my free hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of my hand. It's clearly a thank you for more than just handing him a fork, or making him breakfast, or sleeping with him, or showering with him, or anything of that. It's a thank you for being so patient with him, but I couldn't fathom not being there for him in the way he needs. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to thank me, but in his mind, it is something he needs to do, so I decide to let it happen for a while before I start to refuse his thanks.

The next week functions almost identical to this. Spencer is quiet, keeping to himself and eating his meals on the floor and making the bed perfectly in the morning, cleaning the bedroom floor every night, wearing a tee shirt to bed. I get just a few glimpses of the man he was, but not many.

Emily had called later that day to let Spencer know that the entire BAU was placed on a mandatory six week leave, but also that he had to be evaluated for reinstatement. A whole slew of people have to review Spencer's actions, have to interview him, have to test him to see if he's fit to return to work, and he didn't take this news well. He didn't talk to me for a hours and just curled up on the floor of the bedroom, staring out the window with the drawn-back curtains. I tried, for so long, to get him to talk to me, but he didn't budge and he didn't even look at me. So I just grabbed whatever book was inside his go-bag from the last case he went on and sat beside him, reading aloud in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. And when he did, he went off to shower and then straight to bed.

Spencer's work is his life and there's few things he loves more than his work. I know that he would be lost without the BAU and that he would have absolutely no clue what to do with his life if he couldn't keep working there. So hearing that there's a chance that he may not be reinstated to the BAU is absolutely crushing.

On the other end of the spectrum, the prospect of Spencer not being reinstated isn't all bad to me. In his line of work, there are always going to be enemies. There's always going to be another Cat and another Lindsay. He's always going to have guns pointed at him and bombs blowing up beside him and people wanting to kill him. If he's not reinstated, I get to have him home every morning and night and I won't stare at the wall at lunch with Jenna, wondering if Spencer has just been shot or if he has a knife to his neck. I know that he would absolutely hate not being reinstated, but it would save me so much heartache.

That's an incredibly selfish thought, I know. I'm happy and willing to strip Spencer of one of the things that makes him happiest in his life just so I can sleep at night. But all I've wanted from the moment I met him is for him to be safe and to be happy and if he's not chasing serial killers, I know that he will at least be safe. Happy? I can't help but imagine he wouldn't be.

After a tense week at home, I convince Spencer to let me take him back to his apartment. He insists that he doesn't want for stay there and would rather stay with me, even though I said I would stay at his apartment with him, but I'm happy to let him keep with me. I just want him to be happy.

So I drove him over to his apartment, picked up most of his clothes and whatever else he was needing, and he rounds up an entire duffle bag full of books that I'm sure he would read in just one day. But we collect whatever he could possibly need and shove it in my car, then go straight back to my apartment. I'm starting to get a little stir crazy, being trapped in my apartment, but Spencer doesn't want to go out anywhere yet and the last thing on my mind is forcing him into things he's uncomfortable with.

"So what do you wanna do today?" I unzip the bag full of books and start making a few small piles against the wall, glancing over my shoulder at Spencer. He shrugs gently, too distracted with picking a record to properly respond to my question. Sighing, I return my attention to the books.

The record turns on and this time, I recognize it to be a record full of Christmas music. We've been listening to nothing but Taylor Swift, Frank Sinatra, and Christmas music this past week, and while that's my favorite music and I have no problem with it, it's odd. Spencer never really listened to that music, whether we were together or not. He always managed to convince me to put on some cello concerto that wound up being fifteen minutes long. I thought he would rather listen to that and not Christmas music when it's almost the summer, but I haven't questioned this yet.

"Could we," Spencer starts speaking after a moment, tearing my attention from the books, "maybe watch a movie?"

It's the first time he's suggested anything like that. Honestly, it's one of the first times he's suggested that we do anything. He's just been staying quiet and following me around like a puppy dog, watching me attempt to draw in a sketchbook or watching me cook or watching me do the laundry. He's stuck to my side, even if he hasn't been touching me much. So now that he's suggesting that we do something, I'm not about to pass up this development.

"Yeah, of course. You can choose whatever you want. I'll be over there when I'm done," Spencer nods and turns his back to me, and I pick up my pace in emptying the books from the duffle bag. I don't want to lose this momentum of him, maybe, feeling just a little bit better.

Once I've stacked all the books, I fold up the duffle bag nicely and put it in a place where it won't bother Spencer, and then head into the living room. He's sitting on the couch with a DVD case in his lap, and he holds it out to me when I approach. Always a technophobe, he never goes near the DVD player and lets me do it.

"Polar Express?" I raise my eyebrows, but that's as far as my questioning goes. I pop the DVD out of the case and put it into the player, then grab the remote and press play.

I settle onto the couch with my favorite plaid blanket, draping it over my lap. As the movie starts and the title screen shows, I feel cold. I'm completely covered and under my trusty blanket, but I'm cold. Absolutely freezing. I pull the blanket tighter around me and when my temperature doesn't shift, I quickly realize where the cold is coming from.

Spencer and I are a very physical couple. Despite his aversion to touch, he never seemed to have the problem when it came to me. Especially when we watched movies, we were always touching. Legs, hands, shoulders and heads, laps and heads. There was always a connection, but now there's none. I'm left on my own couch cushion, not sharing Spencer's cushion and continuously pushing closer and closer until we're squished together. A shiver runs down my spine.

We watch the movie in silence for a little while, all the way up until the three main characters are singing a song at the back of the train. And while they're singing, I feel Spencer reaching over, grabbing the edge of the blanket, tugging it closer to him. "You can come closer," he tells me, looking up at me through his lashes, fingers grasping the fuzz of the blanket.

Happy to comply with this request, I scoot closer to him until our legs are touching. I think that's enough for now, but then Spencer slings his arm over my legs and tugs me closer until my knees collapse over his legs and I'm laying my head on his chest. It's a position that I'm so familiar with and I've been dying to be in, but he hasn't been up for lately. My body warms up. The shivers stop.

I completely melt into his embrace, pressing my ear against his chest to listen for the steady beat of his heart as I wrap my arm around his stomach. I let my eyelids flutter closed and relax into him. The movie isn't important anymore, at least not to me.

///

SPENCER

///

Today is a good day, one of the first I've actually had since being home since my prison release. I thought that actually leaving Amelia's apartment would make me nervous, but returning home wasn't as horrible as it seemed like it would be. For once, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm even feeling well enough to watch a movie and cuddle with Amelia on the couch, just like we used to do. She still can't creep up behind me or touch me without showing me her hands first and I still can't eat at a table, but it's an improvement. Albeit a tiny one, but it's there nonetheless.

By the time the movie is coming to an end, Amelia has slid down to rest her head on my lap, her curls sprawled out and her hands pulled up to her chin. She looks ridiculously adorable like this, and even though it's a sight that I've seen many times and I've committed to memory, I wish I could sit and stare at her forever.

But that plan is foiled when my phone starts buzzing on the coffee table. My first instinct is to look down to check that Amelia is still sleeping, and all she does is scrunch up her nose a bit before relaxing. Adorable.

I grab a pillow from beside me and slide it under her head when I slip out from under her. Thankfully, she doesn't notice and she doesn't wake up. Pleased with this, I grab my phone and rush onto the balcony. I don't have time to check who it is before I answer. "Reid."

"Hey, Reid," Rossi's voice comes through the phone. "How's it going?"

"It's-" I ponder my answer for a moment, double-checking that the door is closed as I sink into one of Amelia's adirondack chairs, "um, it's a good day today."

"Good, I'm glad. And I'm glad you've got Amelia to look after you. You've got a good one there. She really cares about you," Rossi says, and his words prompt me to turn and peer into the window at her sleeping form, curled up on the couch and holding the blanket to her chest. "Where-- uh-- where is she right now?"

"She's sleeping right now. I'm on the balcony," Honestly, this is already some of the most talking I've done in the last week and I'm exhausted. I'd rather be talking to Amelia, but Rossi called me for a reason, plus I know that Amelia needs to get some sleep. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid I may need to bring your day down a bit," Rossi sighs, and my heart drops down to my feet. "I feel horrible calling you now, after everything you went through and while the BAU is on leave, but you need to know the situation."

I furrow my eyebrows, balling my free hand into a fist, digging my nails into my palm to give the pain somewhere to go. "What situation?"

"Damian Kelsey's signature popped up on two bodies in LA."

I didn't think that I would have to face a day where Damian Kelsey's signature reappears. I admit that I have stayed late at work many times just to look at Damian's case file and rememorize the details and try to predict what his next murder would have been all while ignoring the chilling family photos that contain my girlfriend as a horribly abused child.

And this is the worst possible time for this to happen. I can barely go a day without flashing back to prison or almost yelling at my amazing and patient girlfriend. How can I possibly tack on dealing with her serial killer father's signature resurfacing, all while trying to keep it a secret from her? It's nearly impossible. I thought that I could just take these stupid six weeks off to spend time with Amelia and try to rest comfortably, but I guess that's not possible.

"I'm heading to LA as we speak. I'm getting on a plane right now. And while we both know what his signature coming up again could mean, the good thing is that these are male victims and they're not surrogates for Amelia. I know that's what you're worried about. The other good thing is that this is across the country and obviously nowhere near Virginia. So--"

"Spencer?" Amelia's sweet voice comes from the balcony doors, the blanket disregarded on the couch and her hair messy on the top of her head.

"Gotta go," I mumble, hanging up my phone and tossing it aside, not even waiting to say goodbye to my coworker.

Amelia steps onto the balcony, her bare feet silent as she approaches me slowly, rubbing her eyes like a small child. "Everything okay?"

I reach my hands out for her and she smiles, placing her hands in mine and slowly sinking onto my lap, resting her head on my chest, similar to the position we had been in before. Amelia runs a hand over my chest and it takes everything in me not to let out a sound akin to a cat purring.

I just hold her tightly in my arms, probably the tightest I have since I saw her for the first time in the parking lot of my correctional facility. Rossi swears that Damian Kelsey won't come after Amelia but I just hold her tighter, as if that will protect her from the horrors of the world. I have a lot of holding to make up for from when I was gone, and I suppose that time starts now.

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