#honestly you’re just some nobody with an insufferable attitude!!!

[pwurrz]

i think if you say shit like this and act like this people would be allowed to publicly stone you tbh

[knivesareout]

remain devious

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Smut (18!!!+ ONLY), slight sexism, oral sex (f receiving), mild breath play (under negotiated kink).

A/N: My fic for The SL+ Discord™ Fic Exchange! This goes out to the lovely @soyelfuegoquearde​​​ who I was graced with writing a fic for and here’s hoping I delivered. 💖

Read on AO3 here.

Summary: Javier Peña’s mouth was going to get him in trouble one day-- if only he’d put it to good use.

---

There weren’t many people who could go toe-to-toe with Javier Peña. You learned the first day on assignment in Bogotá that you could.

The embassy was a quick walk from the apartment complex they’d set you up in and while they had suggested you drive the standard issue bullet proof Jeep they’d provided, mostly for safety’s sake, it seemed like a waste.

A blonde man, who quickly introduces himself as Steve Murphy, was outside to greet you with a strong handshake and a grin. You almost anticipate him to be rude to you out of the sheer fact you were joining the fight late but he seems grateful, explaining to you the ins and outs of the different sectors in the large building that made up the Embassy: the DEA, the Mil Group, and the CIA-- all housed under one roof with a common goal: taking down Pablo Escobar.

“There’s another one, right? We have another partner?” You ask, turning a corner and almost running into a woman who looked beyond frazzled and you apologize quickly before catching up with Steve.

Steve turns over his shoulder to glance at you, a smirk curled on his lips. “Yeah. Peña’s usually late. You’ll meet him. At some point.”

Peña was two hours late.

You and Steve go through six briefs and four cups of coffee between the two of you in the small office shared among your team before your other partner decides to grace you with his presence. Your desk that was once clean was now a disaster with papers scattered and crumpled across the top and you now had a headache slowly creeping between your eyes.

“Well this just looks fucking sad,” a deep voice sounds from the doorway and you snap your head up to glare at the offending noise.

Steve lets out a low whistle, shaking his head. “What’s fuckin’ sad is you showing up two hours late and not even bringing us lunch, Peña.”

So this was him.

“Shut the hell up, Murphy. Who is this?” Javi points to you and looks at Steve, waiting on an answer.

“I’m your new partner.” You stand up and fix him with an icy glare. “And you can ask me if you have any questions, Agent Peña.”

He doesn’t respond and walks back out of the room, mumbling something about coffee.

---

You realize quickly that you and Javier are more similar than you would personally like. Word around the office was that he was a bit of a slut and that was something you knew all too well. Your reputation back home was something comparable, the whispers more annoying than they were degrading. Who cared if you liked to have sex? You were a grown ass woman and it was nobody’s business but your own.

And if you hadn’t learned just from the regular old office gossip, you were quick to learn from having your apartment right next to his. The walls were thin, the calls of ‘Más duro, Javi,’ in the dead of night interrupting your sleep more times than you could count.

Javier would walk into the office refreshed, hours late, while you were there, on time, and in desperate need of caffeine.  

It wasn’t worth mentioning; at least not at first. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that you could hear his sexual escapades and how he was clearly a fantastic lover. There was a bit of jealousy, just on the surface, because it wasn’t you getting laid and you were sure if you asked him to keep quiet, he would be able to tell immediately that you were hard up.

And while yes, he was getting information from his CIs that was helping in the quest to catch Escobar, that didn’t make it any more bearable. In fact, it made him even more insufferable because he felt like he was doing an extension of his job by sleeping with these women.

It all came to a head three months into your stay in Colombia.

Three nights in a row, Javier had brought women, different women, if the tones of their voices were anything to go by, back to his place. You’d gone into work with dark circles under your eyes after the third night and Steve had long since stopped asking what was wrong after you went off on him a month prior.

After you’d snapped at him and took the time to explain why you were in such a foul mood, he had immediately understood and offered to talk to Javier for you. An idea that you quickly dismissed, as it was your problem and yours alone.

Your head was buried under your arms, the bright lights of the office only serving to make your headache worse. There were two empty cups of coffee stacked on your desk that you’d downed immediately after walking in, Steve having left them there as a peace offering of sorts. He could tell after the second day that you needed the extra help and you had shot him a grateful smile when you’d walked in this morning.

“So, I’ve got a lead,” Javier announces walking into the office only 30 minutes late this time.

“Thank fucking god,” you mumble, picking your head off the desk and swiping at your mouth in case there was any drool from dozing off.

Javier’s head whips towards you, his gaze a mixture of anger and curiosity; like he can’t believe you had the nerve to say anything.

The two of you, at best, tolerated each other. Snarky remarks, quick jabs, and blatantly ignoring the other was how the you two communicated and you knew Steve was getting sick of it. It was a surprise that he hadn’t yelled at either of you over the whole thing but you chalked it all up to his angel of a wife, Connie, helping him keep his temper in check.

“The hell is that supposed to mean, Agent?” Not even on a first name basis, it was how the two of you addressed each other.

You shrug, “Just been hearing a lot of information coming from your apartment every night for the last couple of days. It was about time you got something useful.”

Javi goes to speak but Steve cuts him off with a finger and shoots you a pleading stare that says ‘not another word, please’.

You only keep your mouth shut to appease Steve and sigh, tossing your empty cups into the trash and wait for Javier to spill the information he received.

Javier shoots you a nasty glare before going on to explain something about a brothel in Medellín and some of Escobar’s sicarios. There was a meet up of sorts happening tomorrow afternoon, where you were almost guaranteed to catch Velasco and maybe a few others. Javier distinctly chooses not to look at you when he’s explaining, his information relayed directly to Steve. For whatever reason, this is what seems to break the camel’s back and you stand, beyond irritated.

“Agent Peña, if you have an issue with me then I’m going to need you to be very clear about what it is and why. I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve the freeze out you’ve been adamant about since I got here and frankly, it’s insulting,” you start, chest heaving as you try to keep a level head. “I’m on time every day, without fail. I work just as hard, if not harder, than you do in this wild goose chase and to be treated as anything less is sexist. We all went through the same training, the same courses, to be here. I don’t know what it is about me that bothers you so much but I’m going to need you to get the fuck over it and get with the program if we’re going to get anywhere.”

Your outburst seems to catch him off guard, if his open staring at you is anything to go by. Taking your seat again, you nod for him to continue and he does-- this time making sure you’re included.

Things get better after that and while it’s not quite the comradery you have with Steve, it’s better than it was before and you’ll take it.

Javier now treated you with mild respect and that’s all you had wanted to begin with.

---

The week had been long; tiring and full of false leads. You were sleep deprived and overworked. A chase mid-week that had put you all over Bogotá and left you empty handed was still wreaking havoc on your back a couple days later. Case files were taking over your desk and the thought of looking at even one more had you wanting to scream, the low lights of the office once again giving you a headache that no pain medication seemed to help with.

Javier and Steve were starting to pack up to head out while you sat there, eyes starting to blur as you look at your 5th file in the last hour.

“We’re headed to the bar near the apartment. You wanna come?”

Normally you turned down the invitations Steve extended you, knowing Javi’s nicer attitude probably only extended to working hours only, but you were so desperate to have an excuse to leave that you nod quickly, standing up and sliding on your coat.

“Let’s go. Murphy, you’re buying the first round,” you tell him as you pass by out of the office.

You can hear his laugh behind you as you walk through the empty building, hoping you didn’t just make a mistake.

---

They’re not far behind you but you’re already a drink in when they walk through the front door, Steve finding you tucked in a booth in the back corner already with an empty beer bottle on the table while you’re nursing your second.

“I started a tab in your name, Murphy,” you explain with a grin as a waitress comes by and takes their orders.

Steve grimaces but nods, taking it in stride. “Should’ve figured.”

Conversation is light and superficial and you can tell Steve is working to keep things peaceful and on neutral ground. Javi’s mostly one worded answers are almost worse than the snide remarks from before and you have to take measured breaths not to say anything, for your sake and honestly, Steve’s too.

“Can you let me out? I need to piss,” he asks you and you stand up to let him out, sliding back into the booth and taking Steve’s spot so he can just sit down when he comes back.

It’s silent between you and Javier for a moment, the loud noises of the tv and the bar crowd filling the space until he glances over at you with a curious gaze.

“Did you ever wonder?” He asks without context, sipping at his beer.

You’re taken aback by his question, tilting your head as you try to think of what he might possibly be talking about. “Wonder what?”

“All those nights where you could hear me through the walls. Did you ever wonder what I was doing?”

You almost want to laugh at his question. The fact that he’d been holding on to certain parts of your outburst for months has pride blooming in your chest.

“No, not really,” you tell him easily. “It was pretty easy to just make my own assumptions.

“And what did you assume?”

“That either they were faking it for your sake or you’re actually as good as they say around the Embassy.”

Javier smirks behind his beer and nods, licking his lips to chase the beer that dropped.

“Oh, I’m better than they say,” he promises.

“Prove it.”

You swallow thickly, wondering if you’ve just backed yourself into a corner when Steve comes back, launching into some tangent about Noonan and a new policy she’s putting through. His voice goes in one ear and out the other as you try to focus on anything other than the man to your left. You know Javier will make good on his promise when you feel his hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze and you breathe slowly, turning towards Steve with a smile.

“Yeah, agreed. She’s such a hard ass.”

---

You and Javi burst through your apartment door hours later and you silently thank whatever deity there is that Steve lives upstairs and is already home, your moans loud and carrying throughout the lobby before Javi can shut the door behind you.

“I’ve been thinking about this since the first day I saw you,” he admits, tugging at your shirt and undoing a few buttons in his haste to get you naked. His hands are everywhere once your top is pulled down your arms and you feel like you’re burning, the rough calluses on his fingertips creating a delicious drag across your skin.

It’s almost surprising to hear him say he’s thought about you in any context, let alone this one, but you mask your expression and cry out as his mouth finds your shoulder and bites down, sucking so hard you know you’ll be bruised come morning.

“And what did you think about?” You shoot back, arching your chest against his.

The yellow button down he’s wearing is your current nemesis as you fumble your way across the buttons and finally just yank it open at the neck, buttons scattering across the hardwood floors.

Javier grunts at the motion, moving his mouth down your chest, fingers finding the clasp of your bra and pinching it open until the material falls slack on your chest.

“Thought about how loud I can get you to scream my name,” he mumbles, leaning down to capture your left nipple between his lips while his fingers find the right and start pinching in tandem with the work of his mouth.

It’s been months since anyone has touched you other than yourself.

You’d made a promise to yourself before moving down to Colombia that your job was going to be your first and only priority. Work hadn’t leant itself well to finding randoms to sleep with anyhow, mostly keeping to yourself and the few friends you’d made around the Embassy that you’d grab lunch or coffee with in the very little spare time you did have-- so having Javier’s full attention on you, your body, was intoxicating.

“Is that a challenge?” You manage to get out, weaving a hand through his dark hair and tugging him away from your chest, angling his head to look up at you.

His eyes are blown wide, practically black and his hair is a mess but he’s never looked so fucking hot and you hate it.

Javi doesn’t answer your question, just moves up to slot his mouth against yours.

The kiss is angry. Teeth clashing, lip biting, angry. Even his hands feel angry as he tears off your clothes, leaving you naked before him.

Your chest is heaving as you try and catch your breath once Javier pulls away and you place a hand on his chest, making him take steps backward. “My room is back there,” you nod, pulling him in for another quick kiss and pushing him away.

Javier grabs you around the waist, pressing your naked chest to his own and noses against your ear as you both walk blindly towards your room. “I bet I can get you to scream my name so loud even Murphy’ll hear,” he tells you, dragging his nose up the side of your neck and latching his lips on the lobe of your ear.

His challenge makes you laugh and you roll your eyes before walking into your room and laying down on the mattress, crooking a finger towards him.

“Then fucking prove it.”

Javier’s on you in an instant, pushing your legs apart to settle between them. His mouth nips around your stomach, your thighs. Little love bites that you know will serve as a reminder of what a shit head he is, like he’s claiming his territory.

If they didn’t feel so good you’d push him away and tell him to get on with it but his mouth is so warm that you don’t care. Suddenly, you really don’t care that Javier Peña is the biggest fucking pain in your ass so long as he puts his mouth to good use.

His head moves lower and you can feel his hot breath on your pussy, his fingers sliding between the lips and exposing your heat to the cool air. Once his mouth makes contact with your clit, his name slips from your mouth quietly, “Javier.”

“Louder,” he tells you from between your legs while he drags a finger through your slick.

“Don’t get cocky, you-,” you start to warn him, going to kick him in his side until he slides two thick, longer fingers inside of you without warning and your leg goes straight, your head pushing back into the plush pillow behind you and you cry out his name at the feeling of being stretched.

Nothing is comparable to this feeling, no matter how hard you’ve tried and at that moment, you’d sing Javier’s name if he asked you to so long as he didn’t stop.

“More, please,” you whimper. Your eyes are screwed tight and you clutch the pillow behind you in a death grip.

“What was that?” Javi’s tone is smug and you take a breath, willing yourself to just submit to him.

“Please, Javi. More,” you tell him louder this time, voice strained.

He seems to like the sound of that, a third finger sliding home inside of you and you clench around his digits as he starts a steady pace, thrusting them slow and powerful.

The sounds that fill the air are pure filth. The wetness seeping out of you is coating the inside of your thighs and you’re sure you’re dripping onto the blankets beneath you. Javi’s tongue laps at your clit, bringing it into his mouth and sucking harshly.

That feeling is what brings you over the edge. Your body ascends and crashes in the same second and you take a shuddering breath as your cunt pulses long and hard around Javier’s fingers as you cum. Your whole body is buzzing like a live wire, your toes numb.

“What the fuck,” you groan, chest heaving.

“Never doubt me, Agent,” his tone smug.

“Shut the fuck up, Peña.” You push at his head and he laughs, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh.

Javier’s lips trail up your thigh, across your hip and up to your chest where he finally lands on your lips. The kiss is the sweetest it’s been all night and you relish in the languidness of it, the way his tongue sweeps across yours and licks into your mouth like he knows what you want. What you crave.

His cock, hard and rigid, bumps against your hip as he moves and seeks friction, so you slide a hand down his chest to grasp the thickness of him. “Fuck me, Javi,” you whisper as he peppers kisses across your throat and groans when you squeeze him tight. “Prove to me that you’re just as good of a lay as everyone says.”

Your words seem to kick him into gear and he shuffles back away from your touch, leaning back on his legs while he sits between your thighs and takes his cock in hand. His other opens the lips of your pussy and he moves forward just enough to tap the head of his dick against your clit.

“Just fuck me Javi for fucks sake,” you whimper, still sensitive from your previous orgasm and you just want him inside. The teasing was unnecessary but wholly Javier and you curse again when he slowly starts to slide the head of his cock down until it notches against your entrance.

Javier moves slow once he’s fully sheathed inside of you and it’s the best and worst thing to happen to you, you’re sure. The feeling of finally being filled is worth the wait but the way he does it is infuriating because he knows just how good it feels. Javier slides a hand to your shoulder and fixes his dark gaze with your own and it’s over from there.

His pace is like nothing you’ve endured before. The push and pull of Javier’s hips hitting into yours is loud in the otherwise quiet room, the wetness between your thighs now coating his own. He’s sweating as he moves, grunts spilling from his lips, “Fuck your pussy feels so good around me.”

Normally you’d snark out a response but words are hard to form with the way he’s working you over. His cock fits you like a glove, hitting all of the right spots and playing your body like a well tuned instrument. It’s just missing something.

Your hand that was clutching the comforter beside you reaches out to grasp his forearm that’s on your shoulder and you slowly move his hand until it’s cupping your throat. Javier’s pace falters at your movement and he just stares you down, a curious look pointed at you.

You’d overheard at work it was something Javi was into, some water cooler chat you’d walked into only a few weeks prior. One of the CIA girls had been retelling her hook-up story with Javi from months ago to a new hire and they were all eating it up. While you had only passed them by, not managing to hear more details, you still decided to file that information away for later-- a bit surprised that you had something else in common with him after all.

“Two taps if it’s too much,” you tell him, tapping on his arm so he understands and he nods.

Javier’s hand slightly grips your neck, his thumb pressing in on the side and the pressure is delicious and you clench hard around his cock at the feeling.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he groans out, his hips slowly starting to move again until he finds a rhythm.

His hand doesn’t do much more than lightly press against you but it’s enough. It feels safe, warm around your neck and you know Javier would never hurt you, the unexplained trust of having him as your partner translating now to the bedroom.

You both work in tandem, his hips pushing in and you chasing his as he pulls out only to slide back in. It’s probably the best you two have ever worked together and it’s irony at its finest.

Javier tilts your head back, baring the full length of your throat to him, his thumb tracing along your jaw and you cry out once he hits that spot inside of you that makes your limbs go numb in pleasure. He drags your bottom lip down and you suck his thumb between your lips, lightly scraping your teeth around the digit. He abandons your neck then, using his now wet thumb to press against your clit and that feeling coupled with his thrusts sends you over the precipere, your body baring down and clenching tightly around his cock as you cum.

Your whole body is shuddering, your mouth open as you try and find your breath as Javier continues to pound into you in search of his own release. He finds it just a minute after your own, his mouth dropping to your neck as he groans, hips stuttering as he pulses his release inside of you.

Careful not to just collapse on top of you, Javier rolls to the side and lets out a long breath before turning to you, eyes searching.

“If you’re looking for some sort of regret, you’re not gonna find it Peña,” you tell him, reaching over into your nightstand to find your emergency pack of cigarettes. You offer him the pack but he waves you off, swinging his legs off the side of the bed to stand up while you light up.

You watch as Javier moves around your room, slowly dressing himself. Jeans zipped back up and he’s left shirtless, his top somewhere in your living room missing half of its buttons.

“You want a shirt?”

He nods, “Yeah, that’d be good. Forgot you fucking ruined mine.”

Laughing, you stand and move around Javier to reach into your dresser and pull out a plain white shirt that you normally saved for laundry days. You toss it over to him and lean against your dresser, pulling a drag from the cigarette while you watch him tug it on. The shirt is a little too tight around the chest but it looks good on him and you’re almost sad to see him go. Almost.

“So I’ll see you in the office on Monday?” You ask, putting your half smoked cigarette out on the windowsill and leave it there, making your way out into the kitchen. Javier follows and tugs his boots on, shoving his socks into the pockets of his jeans and he nods.

You’re almost glad that Javier is the first person you’ve slept with while you’re here. He’s not expecting anything more than you are and despite the fact that you two work together, you don’t see any issues coming forward about your night together unless he wants to do it again. The prospect is nice and you pour yourself a glass of water, sipping as you watch him turn to leave.

“Yeah, Monday.” He gives you a salute and a wink. “I’ll see ya, Agent.”

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[neversatisfiedwithlife]

I don't understand why anyone even liked Doug in the beginning. I've always despised him, except for a few moments. The fandom called him out for how he treated Izzie in season 4, yet ignored so many other things?

Like did everyone just forget that he walked out on his family just because Sam was diagnosed with autism? He was gone for 8 whole months. And later on he said something about never seeing his son smile, or that he just wants something in common with Sam (when he forced Sam to watch games or something - I don't remember too well). Until later on in the show, Doug didn't do much to try and like one of Sam's hobbies or interests, and just in general took everything as a personal attack. And when he went to Elsa's group he really showed that he was really late in doing anything to try and understand Sam's autism.

Not to mention he was still ashamed of Sam being autistic, and didn't "get over it" until he was outed for it. Plus, he was only supportive of Sam whenever he had a chance to one-up Elsa. Every scene was just an opportunity for him to look like the better parent, it didn't feel like he really believed in Sam at first.

And I can't explain it, but Doug's attitude in the whole show was really irritating. Even if he was right for it sometimes (especially when he found out Elsa cheated), he really took victim playing to a new level. His self-pity was agonising to watch. Not to mention the subtle toxic masculinity here and there. He just overall sucked as a character. He's like that one guy that never seems to be able to stay in his lane.

Sorry for the totally random ask, I need this discussion so bad, I genuinely don't get why everyone loves this character

I do think people sympathized with him at first being cheated on because cheating is never the answer.

But I do get exactly what you're saying, let me try and organize my thoughts based on your points brought up:

Izzie, no surprise she's a lot of people's favorite. But I agree why only when it pertains to Izzie are people's characters defined? Like Elsa no one wanted to view her as a positive character until she was there completely for Izzie, and that confused me because I actually really enjoyed her in season 3 and on rewatch learned to be patient with her in s2.

To be honest some people bring up stuff from season 1 that I literally forgot happened, so yes that could be a thing. I usually start my rewatches at s2, which probably sounds dumb: but I am aiming to do an entire series rewatch.

This reminds me of the Arlo episode, Doug is kinda insufferable here, no surprise he was oblivious, either by choice or just truly that way, the reason behind Arlo's dad not wanting Sam around was because he wasn't neurotypical and because he has autism.

Also the fact that he didn't stay with Elsa's group was actually on my mind earlier. He really didn't put forth any effort to understand Sam and kids with autism.

Also he left and then Elsa is the bad guy when Sam and Casey get on a fight? I hate that nobody brings this up. Idc what happened those are his kids, but he really just said no.

But yes he's only interested in Sam's interest, Antarctica, after Sam and everyone else have paved him towards being self sufficient. When Doug realizes he can be basically completely hands off with Sam now he's intrested.

(Idk if my additions were comprehensive or coherent or even added anything but I hope so. Thank you for this post I completely agree. I've really been having a roller coaster of thoughts on Doug since Friday lol- im not the same person I was a day ago about Doug😂😂honestly though)

[obeymebeelzebub]

Can I Kiss You? | (Satan x Reader)

Satan asks you to help him with something - purely in the name of science, of course.

AO3 Link

Word Count: 1086

“Can I kiss you?”

You look up from your book in surprise, only to see Satan peering over the top with wide eyes. You tilt your head to the side with a bit of hesitation and lay your book down beside you.

“…Why are you asking me that?”

“I was reading about it,” he says innocently, and he brandishes a thick red book with the title Forms of Affection in the Human World written in neat black letters across the front. “and I was hoping I could test a few things out.” He moves to sit beside you on the couch.

It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to spend time alone in his room together. After divulging at the dinner table one night about how much you miss the quaint libraries in the human world, Satan offered to let you read your library books in his room whenever you wanted. He wouldn’t let you touch his personal collection, of course, but it was the thought that counted. He understood the comfort that came from curling up on a couch with a good book and a cup of tea or coffee, and he was more than happy to share those intimate moments with you as long as you didn’t interrupt his study time. Tonight was no different from any other night you two had spent together.

This was why you found it so odd he would come to you with this request. He was always one to search for knowledge, but to put things into practice was different and almost out of character. Satan was an observer - he loved to learn about the experiments of others, and was always the first to wonder how something would play out, but he would never instigate. He was always content to watch with a small smirk on his face and eagerness in his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile and flush a bit at the expression on his face, so atypical and childlike.

“Have you never kissed anyone before?” You ask, moving your legs under you into a more comfortable position. This placed you curled up while he sat calmly next to you with his feet placed firmly on the floor and one arm reaching across the back of the couch. You could almost catch the hint of a blush on his cheeks to mirror yours. You wonder for a moment if this position was something else he had read about.

“I haven’t, no,” he says, turning his head away from you to gaze across the room. “This may come as a surprise, but dating hasn’t been at the top of my priority list. There are other things that tend to catch my interest, and other people are very rarely one of them. Let alone enough for me to have some sort of physical attraction to them.”

You laugh a little as you shifted back into your seat. Satan was no doubt an incredible looking demon - he was no Asmodeus, but he stayed well groomed and proper. His hair fell right over his eyes, but they still managed to pierce through you every time you made eye contact. Sometimes you felt like he was staring right through you. Up this close, you noticed he smelled like leather bound books with a hint of earth to them. You had obviously paid attention to how attractive he was, but his attitude made him so hard to read sometimes. It never made sense to think of him as anything more than a friend, because it would lead to an inevitable heartbreak. Back in the human world, you had felt the sting of rejection, and it was not something you were looking forward to feeling again. The thought that he found you physically attractive almost slipped past you before you start blurting out words to cover the silence.

“I’m honestly surprised nobody’s tried to make a move on you yet,” You murmur. He tilts his head to the side - oh god, he can be so insufferably cute sometimes - and you quickly find yourself trying to explain. “You’re honestly one of the best looking demons in this school.” The words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them. You were impressed with your own composure up until this point, but this tips you over the edge. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth in a quick motion and you feel your face flush as the heat rises into your cheeks. Satan stifles a giggle as he moves his face in closer towards you. You secretly hope the ground will open up beneath you and swallow you whole.

“So it’s safe to say you’re okay with helping me out, then?” He teases, his eyes trailing down your face to take in all your features. With a gentle hand, he moves your hands from your mouth and rests them in your lap. He moves forward just a bit and parts his lips, waiting for you to close the gap between the two of you. Your eyes flicker over his features - his eyes, boring into you with a mix of what you could only hope was a mix of desire and curiosity, and his lips, soft and pink and inviting.

You close your eyes and tilt your head, connecting your lips in one smooth motion. He tastes like mint leaves and everything you had imagined. He moves one hand to cup your face as he deepens the kiss, only for a moment, before pulling back.

“Interesting.”

“Interesting?” You huff, and you’re suddenly painfully aware of how desperate you look. You had subconsciously moved your body towards his as he pulled away, and now you were almost in his lap, both of your hands resting on his thigh to prop yourself up. You pull away with a start, straightening your back and trying to regain your composure. Satan laughs, bright and warm, and you suddenly feel the tension in your body start to dissipate.

“Yes, interesting.” He leans in again and this time he doesn’t hesitate to kiss you harder. One hand is on your cheek, the other lightly touching the back of your neck, and your whole body feels as though it’s on fire. He pulls you on top of him, into his lap, and you place your hands on his chest.

You finally pull back and see Satan underneath you, pupils flared, and the faintest trace of a smile forms on his lips.

“There’s no way that’s the first time you’ve kissed somebody!”

[fae-fucker]

Review: Death Wind by Tara Grayce

Essie should be planning her happily ever after, not planning a war. Although they once were enemies, the humans of Escarland and the elves of Tarenhiel have allied to fight the trolls from the far north. But alliances are tricky things even in the best of times, and with Farrendel, the elves’ foremost warrior and Essie’s husband, captured by the trolls, the circumstances appear dire indeed. But Essie won’t give up, and she will make her two peoples work together to fight this war if it’s the last thing she does. One way or another, she will get Farrendel back, no matter what it takes.

Gonna be honest, didn't expect much given my lukewarm reaction to the previous two books, but this one? This one actually held my attention for genuine reasons rather than just being a light read. Because the plot involves a lot of conflict (arguably the biggest conflict possible, war), the pacing is steady, and two of the three POV characters are mostly suffering and/or being tortured, there's actually tension for once. It's a welcome change, and proves that the author is very much capable of writing it but just chooses not to in favor of boring and conflict-free family interactions.

With Melantha introduced as a POV character, we're offered a pretty buckwild concept for this series: a character that makes mistakes and has to live with the consequences. I actually found myself liking Melantha, not because I thought she was a compelling character (she wasn't) or because I felt bad for her (I didn't), but because she had what Essie didn't: flaws. There's even a point in the book where Melantha thinks about how much she dislikes Essie because Essie is so sugary perfect and everything Melantha wishes she could be, and I think it's supposed to show us how bitter and insecure Melantha is? Except she's 100% correct, Essie is literally too perfect to be a real person and I just sat there going "yeah, you're right, and don't feel bad for being shitty because literally nobody can actually be like Essie."

However, Melantha suffers from Stupid Bitch Syndrome, which doesn't exactly make for a good protagonist/POV character. She's not intended to be dumb, the book expects us to think she was simply misguided and bitter and not, like, a complete idiot who should've known better. But her instant remorse feels less like character development and more like her suddenly realizing she’s actually a huge idiot who fell for the enemy’s nonsense, which she is. She's supposed to be an older elf, a grown woman, yet she makes such an obvious mistake and immediately regrets it and folds like a wet blanket the moment shit hits the fan. It's honestly a bit pathetic. The only reason I preferred her over Essie was because she introduced some much-needed depth to the character roster, but that depth was still about the size of a teacup, compared to Farrendel's thimble and Essie's singular water molecule. Her relationship with the troll prince was actually ... interesting? It was all mostly unspoken, which I think made it stronger than the overly telegraphed thing Essie and Farrendel have going on, and I’m sure it’ll be flattened out and become boring in the next book, so enjoy this potential before it’s wasted.

Farrendel spends the entire book being tortured and thinking about how he's being tortured. I can't blame him, but it doesn't make for good reading. I honestly think his POV could've been left out altogether and it wouldn't have changed much. Melantha is already there with him letting the reader know he’s suffering, we don’t need two POVs telling us the same thing. Oh uh, except for the part where he ... puts his magic in a soul-bond pocket. I'd mark this as spoilers but it's literally on the cover. I guess if his POV was removed then we'd never know how Essie learned to blast his power in battle at that one convenient moment, but it barely affects the plot afterward so um, yeah. I'm having a hard time justifying his POV at all. I'm still not over that part btw, how Farrendel just ... makes a "mental fist" (no, really), grabs his magic in one and his soul bond with Essie in the other and just puts them together like he's connecting two cables to an adapter. And he knew to do this ... how? It's not like we've seen him experiment with his magic before, in fact he's been shown to hate it and only use it when necessary, but apparently this tortured and exhausted man has the presence of mind to try something as vague and theoretical as ... putting his magic in a soul pocket. He spends a few pages going “I wonder if I can do this” and then it works on the first try. He does consider whether it’ll hurt Essie and decides not to try it, but as I said, he does it soon after anyway so like ... I don’t think it’s supposed to be funny or show how little of a shit he gives about Essie, but that’s sort of the implication and I thought it was funny as hell. 

Anyway, the magic pocket is about as much worldbuilding/lore as we get from this series entry, aside from the trolls having their own political intricacies and tensions, which I’m assuming the next book will expand upon. The writing itself in this book was pretty bad at times. The repetition of certain words and names was really glaring in some parts and felt amateurish. Take a shot every time the word “magic” appears and you’ll be in the grave before the book ends. Prince Rharreth and King Charvod are almost always referred to with their full titles and names for some reason? A few editing rounds would’ve helped this a lot, methinks.

The plot is mostly moved along in Essie’s POV, which is slightly less insufferable than usual because she’s the one observing the movement of the two armies and there are actually action scenes in there that, while don’t exactly made me worried about her (there’s no way this perfect idiot will ever die), still provided some tension. But it’s honestly not much, the “war” lasted two entire weeks (and that’s including the strategy, logistics, and mobilizing) and with how fast the armies travel and how little resistance they face (and how Deus Ex Farrendel-d the final battle was, the guy is apparently full of godlike destructive power despite being starved and tortured, go off king), it all felt very unrealistic and easy. Like, we have two armies marching in the middle of a mountain chain during magical snow storms, all while being regularly assaulted by the defending army, and they still get there no problem, without a single mention of soldiers struggling not to die of exposure. Aight. I guess these elves and humans are just very resistant to the cold, for some reason.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason it goes over so fast in-universe is because the author wanted Farrendel to be horribly tortured throughout his captivity, but also knew that if that lasts too long, the damage will be too severe to easily resolve in the next book. But instead of easing off the hardcore torture, because then we’d lose out on that drama and those High Stakes, she decided to speed up the whole war thing, because hey, who cares about that, anyway? We just want Farrendel back, right? Riiiight? Better hurry up guys! Don’t want Farrendel to be too tortured to fix with some strawberry-flavored medicine and vague counseling in the next book!

So yeah, the plot moves on speedily, but at what cost? Mainly depth. Again. And once again, Essie suffers the most from being a bland caricature of a person and dragging the whole thing down. The author’s GR bio says she writes “spunky and tough” leading ladies, and I guess having no other things in your brain except sparkly kitten gifs is a certain kind of toughness in an “immovable object” sort of way, but “spunk” implies a of counter-culture edge that sweet widdle Essie simply does not have.

There was one small section where Essie felt bad over how the human and elven warriors were going to die, how many mothers and sisters and daughters would suffer just so she didn’t have to, but then we don’t find out the death count, the casualties are never even mentioned, and Essie moves on from this without even a single thought questioning the morality of a monarchy or her own position of power. Now, I get that that’s not the focus of this series, but it just adds to how Essie’s worries are always surface-level and never justified by the plot, how she never has to do any introspection and is never allowed to not always be annoyingly positive. Whenever she even begins to think something negative, she instantly, almost compulsively changes trajectory and just decides not to worry about it, and then it never comes up again anyway. This would’ve been like, an interesting take on toxic positivity and how Essie represses her own emotions, but no, the book never goes there, she’s just that perfect and wee and optimistic, even during a war and when her husband’s being tortured to near-death. It’s kind of insulting to read, honestly.

Oh yeah, that’s another thing that annoyed me. Even when she loses Farrendel, she takes it surprisingly well and focuses mostly on keeping a positive attitude for his sake, so he doesn’t feel her sadness through their “heart bond.” I never really felt her loss, her love for him, when she so easily could just decide not to feel bad “for his sake.” I want her to feel bad, I want her to miss him and to ache at his absence and to fear for what they’re doing to him. But no. That would just upset him more and hurt him more. So Essie doesn’t get to experience any negative feelings because it might upset her husband. Essie doesn’t get angry and determined to fight, she just keeps being her cheery little Stepford Wife self because being nice will keep everyone’s spirits up and make them hope and fight harder to preserve that hope!! :)

It just comes off as really flat and moralistic yet dishonest at the same time, because nobody would fucking react like this IRL. Essie might be a good person in-universe, but she drags the entire series down just by being perfect, cheery, and never, ever challenged or even allowed to challenge anything herself. Essie isn’t allowed to have any negative feelings because it might affect her husband, and yet we’re supposed to find this empowering somehow? We’re supposed to believe she’s spunky and confident and a sweet little firecracker of a redhead?

Eugh.

At least Melantha is an idiot, I guess. One whole female character gets to have a flaw, and she’s the almost-villain who needs to be fixed with love.

Idk man. The sexism in this series is like a constant undercurrent that grows stronger with each installment as our “understanding” of this world expands. All of Essie’s brothers, including the king, are at the front lines because they are manly men “have to” be there, while the women who aren’t Essie or Jalissa stay behind to be mothers and caretakers. It’s never expanded upon and just sort of accepted as part of both human and elven society and the narrative treats it like this obvious thing that even Essie doesn’t really bother noting how unfair and/or weird it is. There’s not even a single comment on it. Essie is in the war not because she can fight but because Farrendel needs her, and Jalissa is there because ... Um. Because ... she. Uh. She needs to be there when they confront Melantha? She’s Farrendel’s sister? Idk. Jalissa’s main point in this series so far seems to be the ship tease between her and Edmund that feels awkward and one-sided as fuck.

So yeah. The pacing and plot flowed along really well, but the characters and the writing and worldbuilding are all just really undercooked, which, at three books into the series, feels more glaring than ever.

But hey, at least it was a quick read!

[phoebehalliwell]

Since nobody liked Billie and the Ultimate Power plotline, how would you have ended Charmed? (Because you come up with like the most awesome headcanons and should totes have been hired to write the reboot!!!)

okay so as we all know the only reason we got billie was because they really needed new blood to carry on a spin off series and i know people wanted wyyat & chris show but you can’t go to the cw in 2006 like okay we’ve got two brothers fighting magical beings there’s the snarky younger brunet brother who’s a bit of a black sheep and then his older blond brother who’s really good at this and also dad’s favorite son bc uhhhh they already did supernatural. so you know back track this is your feminist show about some magical ladies kicking ass you should get a magical kickass lady to carry your spin off hey you know who else was a kickass magical lady buffy everyone loves buffy what if we made her sorta a buffy type except okay here’s the 411 on buffy is we know she already got a lot of slayer training so her cocky devil may care i know what i’m doing and can kick ass attitude is fine be we’re following her and we’re like hell yeah But if you’re giving that personality to your new character who’s introduction is through the people trying to teach her this cocky i can handle myself attitude is actually Incredibly Annoying bc it’s obvious she doesn’t know everything and Of Course we are going to side with her mentors as we’ve been following their stories for nearly a decade now. so to fix season eight we need to fix billie.

having her be paige’s charge isn’t necessarily a bad way to introduce her into the show, but roughly everything else was. the costume (and the implication she bought it from saks fifth avenue??? she’s a college student????) the fact she would keep saying quippy one liners to demons that literally would not talk back making it feel incredibly awkward/cringy the fact that she was like an ass to paige and an insufferable know it all like. i get how these could be the personality traits of a fun character (like almost all of these are traits iron man has and his character essentially singlehandedly launched the mcu) but again having a know it all from a mentor’s perspective isn’t likable. having her in that lil costume doesn’t really match the tone of the show that’s been set so far. and her absolute abhorrence for studying and need to go kick demons ass for a buzz like. it wasn’t the character they should have given us. and here’s the thing: billie wasn’t all bad. she was incredibly smart and she was basically the first character we saw to combine magic and modern tech. this could have been incredibly interesting and y’know maybe the show would adopt it moving forward but like even when we first see her use it she’s basically showing paige “i know more than you” but we’re inclined to align with paige bc she’s a lead character who we’ve grown with. but like. paige couldn’t come up with that. that had a lot of room to do right with billie, but they really did wrong at almost every turn.

so if i were to reconfigure billie to in turn reconfigure s8, i would first start with her personality. as she’s clearly going to be the mentee to the charmed ones, the cocky know it all is a no go. instead, i might put her on a path closer to s1 piper, in which she has powers that she just knows nothing about and is worried she’s evil this that and the other but through the charmed ones she learns how to focus and hone her power while also gaining some of their confidence & sisterhood and all that. basically, working with the charmed ones, not against them. another thing that just sorta bugs me on a lore level is billie just sorta got her powers at age 20 like they were laying dormant before this but like?? it’s very much beem established young witches have powers, it’s not like a puberty thing or whatever and i really don’t think there would be any reason for them to grow into her life unprompted. workarounds for this could either be a) she was put up for adoption and was encouraged to supress her magic bc she could potential hurt others / be seen as a freak or b) some specific traumatic incident unlocked a hidden power (grishaverse think the first time alina realized she had her powers was when she was being attacked by the volcra in absolute darkness idk maybe one of them snatched mal the point is it was a moment of raw desperation in an environment best suited to unlock her powers). something like that some quasi life or death fight i can’t think of a good reason for that to happen to an average college student off the top of my head but like y’know finding hidden power that whole trope. the third option, aka my wildcard, is that the elders regift the twiceblessed destiny right then & there, and the new billie is also the new twice blessed (fully giving her the magic credentials to carry her own show imo)

building on billie’s intro, she gets acquainted with the charmed in like no earnest fashion. they are both using each other plain and simple this is acknowledged. the girls are using her to fight demons for them, she’s using them to properly teach her the craft. once again, it doesn’t really foster the relationship i feel like we would want to see from the new lead with the old lead. if i were writing this, i would have them take billie under their wing and teach her the craft, but billie being th smart cookie she is y’know does the reading and puts two and two together and is like “are you guys the charmed ones?” and by this time the girls genuinely trust billie enough to tell her the truth. it’s not a bargaining chip.

then. okay. you know how you can repress memories? like if something happened to you that was So Traumatic you can genuinely just forget that shit ever happened completely wipe it from your mind? okay. so like billie doesn’t like halloween. and paige is like you’re a college student how can you not like halloween and billie’s like idk i don’t like it. so maybe she holes herself up in the attic or whatever bc she really doesn’t want to acknowelge the holiday and phoebe’s like oh this is so my division y’know advice all that the point is she’s talking to billie and blah blah blah and she has a premoniton. and she sees christy being kidnapped and a young billie terrified this that and the other and phoebe’s like oh my god that’s why you don’t like halloween and billie’s like what? and phoebe’s like that girl? she was taken?? and billie’s like no idk who that is and phoebe like i think he name was christy and then something in billie just cracks and the memory shoots up to the surface blah blah blah

and then once again instead of really shutting the sisters out and going on some vendetta or whatever we really see the sister sorta help billie through this once again strengthening the bond between the leads we know and love and billie bc if they all love billie i feel like we are much more inclined to like her than if billie just bugs the shit outta them.

blah blah blah i’m not bringing the triad back i’m not bringing christy back until like probs the finale or the penultimate episode the main villain i think would maybe just be like a warlock faction like the underworld’s been so pummelled no triad no source zankou’s gone the avatars wiped out a fuckton of them the charmed ones wiped out even more so if you were gonna make a move for the throne the time would be now. also be we got too many demons we need more warlocks.

also, in regards to christy, having her be raised by demons is really too morally dubious like again there’s just like this debate is christy actually evil or does she just have a really warped sense of right and wrong this new christy would have escaped from them young and begun this new rough and tumble life on the road training herself becoming powerful and honestly would probably end up more like canon!billie but uhh she has the skills to back it up. with then the dynamic becoming christy, as the eldest sister and the one who’s survived on her own for years always wants to do things herself bc a) she doesn’t want billie to get hurt and b) really was an insanely low life expectancy for herself and y’know billie’s in college and could potentially have a normal life whereas christy believes herself to be too far gone and then have billie really try to be there like yes you were alone but that doesn’t mean you always have to be and sorta the softness & sisterhood we would have seen with her and the charmed ones would really carry over into her own show as she and christy really work to y’know build that bridge

[lovemesomerafael]

It’s Complicated                    Chapter 1:  Don’t Get Me Started

Source:  @repls

How does “Hate at first sight” become “Where have you been all my life?”

Rafael Barba did not make a good first impression on Francisca Rojas.  At all.  In fact, she found him to be an insufferable ass and hoped never to have to work with him. Unfortunately, given her new job, that was not going to happen.  Well, she was an adult, and a Forensic Psychiatrist, and realistic enough to have known that she wouldn’t like everyone she met at NYPD.  She could deal with Barba.  Frankie wondered whether her friend George Huang had ever met him.  If he had, it seemed like he should have warned her when she told him she had accepted his former position with NYPD.  

Mark Stephens was not their rapist.  Barba wanted him to be.  Frankie could understand wanting the guy they had in custody to be the doer, but he wasn’t, and Barba was just going to have to deal with that.  She wasn’t particularly impressed with a Prosecutor who wanted to take the easy way out.  A guy as arrogant as Barba needed to be able to back it up and, so far, Barba was looking like he might be all hat, no cattle.  

Francisca Rojas made an even worse impression on Barba.  He had been a Prosecutor for over twenty years.  A bunch of fancy diplomas and an FBI pedigree didn’t hold a candle to that kind of experience.  He knew what the hell he was doing.  She clearly didn’t.  Yet there she’d been, parading her ignorance before the entire squad, telling them that Stephens wasn’t the rapist because he didn’t fit her profile.  In what universe was that evidence?  

Olivia Benson was concerned. The Forensic Psychiatrist and the A.D.A. assigned to SVU needed to have a good working relationship.  She couldn’t have them disagreeing on something as basic as whether their prime suspect was the one.  She sure as hell couldn’t have them at eachother’s throats.  Liv kind of had to side with Barba on this one – Stephens was caught on the scene of the latest rape, and he had scratches on his face consistent with the size of the victim’s hands.  Even he admitted that the tests were going to show that it was his DNA under her fingernails.  A profile was only good to let them know who to look for – it was useless once they’d found the skel who did the crime.  Was their new Forensic Psychiatrist so conceited that she couldn’t admit she was wrong in the face of the evidence?  This could be bad.  

“Hey, Doc,” the tall, gangly, ridiculously pretty detective called to Frankie.  What was his name again?  Something Italian.  He caught up to her at the entrance to the stairs.  “Hey, um…  I’m interested in your thoughts about Stephens.”

Frankie took a few seconds to breathe.  She strongly suspected that the correct translation was, “I’m about to call bullshit on your theory.”

“What is it you want to know, uh… Detective?”

“Carisi.  Call me Sonny.”

“Detective Carisi. Sonny.”

“Well, you seem pretty, um, sure that Stephens isn’t our guy.  And Barba seems pretty sure he is.  I’m an attorney, so I’d like to understand why the evidence we have isn’t doin’ it for ya’.  Because I’m thinkin’ if you’re not convinced, a jury might not be, either.”

Frankie blinked.  He seemed sincere.  “Well, thanks for that.  I appreciate you asking, rather than just deciding I’m wrong.”

“Don’t worry about the squad.  They’re not closed-minded.  They’re just going off of what they see in the evidence.  If it goes in another direction, so will they.”  

Frankie laughed humorlessly. “And Barba?”

“Barba’s… Barba.  You’ll get used to him.”  

“Well, he’s wrong. And here’s why.  It’s a couple of things, actually.  First, Stephens’ story makes sense.  A woman who’s just been raped and beaten sees a man bending over her? She could react violently, just as he said.  She could misinterpret an attempt to help her as an attack.  And she’s not telling us differently, because she doesn’t remember anything.  Second, Stephens is talking to us.  He won’t shut up.  He’s doing everything he can to help.  Our guy, he won’t be like that.  He does everything he can to humiliate his victims.  He taunts law enforcement.  He thinks he’s smarter than anyone and can just play with us.  So in an interrogation, he won’t be talking.  He’ll be mocking.  He’ll be disrespectful, angry and superior.”  She smiled.  “Like Barba.”    

  Frankie’s shoulders slumped when her assistant told her that A.D.A. Barba was holding on Line One for her. She knew it.  She’d known very quickly after meeting him that he was going to be trouble.  He was the exact type that always was.  She looked up to the ceiling, shook her head, and sighed, “Put him through.”

“Dr. Rojas.”  

“Mr. Barba.  What can I do for you?”

“You can tell me what the hell that was back there at the station house.  How do you justify ignoring the facts in favor of a theory that doesn’t fit them?”

“I’m not ignoring the facts, because the facts do fit the theory.  You just don’t like the way they fit.  I wish I could agree with you.  I wish Stephens was the guy.  But I don’t think he is.”

Barba massaged his temples with his hand.  “Well, you aren’t afraid to stick to your position, I’ll give you that.”  

“Did you call to try to browbeat me into your way of thinking?  Because that would be a waste of time.”

Rafael wasn’t quite seeing red yet, but he hadn’t wanted to make this call in the first place, and that comment definitely made him mad.  “No.  I do not intend to ‘browbeat’ you.  I thought I would take an opportunity to try to discuss this case one-on-one, like adults.  But I appreciate you letting me know that would be a waste of my time.”

Really?  This overbearing troll was calling her a child? For standing by what all of her training and experience told her?  Frankie tried hard to hang on to her temper.  “Mr. Barba, I did my research.  I know who you are.  Your resumé is as impressive as your attitude would suggest, and so is your record in court. Your peers talk about you in superlatives, nobody wants to see you on the other side of a case, and the NYPD holds you in especially high regard.  I’d be an idiot to take a position counter to yours without damn good reason, and I am not an idiot.”

“I suppose that ‘fountain of praise’ technique usually works fairly well for you?”

Frankie, had she known it, mirrored Barba’s position at her desk, her hand massaging her temples.  “There’s always one,” she sighed to herself, before responding.  “Look. Stephens’ DNA will either match the rapist’s, or it won’t.  If it does, I’m wrong and you’re right.  You put Stephens away and you get bragging rights.  I can live with that.  But if it doesn’t, we still have a rapist out there.  And that is honestly all I care about.  This isn’t about ego for me.  It’s about stopping a rapist.”

“You expect me to believe that.”

“You know what?  I actually don’t.  Lucky for us, it doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not.”

“Doctor, we are going to have to find a way to work together.”

“Yes, we are.  And you may be surprised to learn that I’m sure we will.  This is not new territory for me, Mr. Barba.”

“Meaning what?  Everyone finds you difficult to work with?”

“Not everyone.  Just a certain kind of man.”

Rafael was certain he wasn’t going to like this.  “Enlighten me.”  

Frankie could hear the sneer through the phone.  Self-righteous prick.  What a piece of work.  At that point, despite her hard-won self knowledge and the many techniques she’d learned to control it, her temper pushed all her higher instincts out the window. Again.  

“You did your due diligence on me, same as I did on you.  And you’ve decided I’m a dilletante.  You know I’m Salomon Rojas’s daughter and you think daddy bought me some degrees so I could dress up and play FBI Barbie.“

Rafael said nothing.  She was uncomfortably close to the mark.

“I’m used to it,” she continued.  “So go ahead and discount me all you want.  And you’re welcome to set up whatever hurdles and challenges you find necessary.  They all do.”

“Well, thank you for reducing me to a cliché.”  

“Look, let me just save you some time.  I’ve been set up to fail by the best.  During medical school, during my residencies…  It didn’t get me to quit, Mr. Barba.  It made me a better doctor.  And you don’t want to know what I went through my first few years in the FBI, but suffice it to say that you will not be able to best those guys in either ingenuity or cruelty.  So bring it on.  The sooner you figure out I’m the real deal, the sooner we can get to work.”

“Thank you for sharing that poignant slice of your life with me, irrelevant though it was.”

“Was it?”  Rojas’s voice dripped meaning.

“You are a psychiatrist, aren’t you?  Next you’re going to ask me how I feel about my mother.”

“You adore your mother. And she adores you.  I’m not getting much of a father figure in your life, though.  That may be behind some of the attitude.”

It wasn’t often that Rafael Barba was at a loss for words.

Frankie stepped into the silence.  “When the DNA results come back, we’ll know.  And we’ll take the next step, whatever it is.  If Stephens is the rapist, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that you were right and I was wrong.  If he isn’t, I hope you’ll let me do my job and contribute to planning the team’s next move.”

“Well.  I thought I just heard you acknowledge the possibility that you might be wrong.”

“See?”  Frankie’s voice was all sarcasm.  “Your preconceptions are crumbling already.  Anything else?”

“Just…  Try to disagree with me a little more discreetly in the future.”

They both slammed down the phones at the same time.

Frankie cradled her head in her hands and groaned.  She’d done it again.  Barba couldn’t help it if he was the exact type of asshole who instantly got under her skin.  And she should be far, far above this kind of thing.  She was a damn psychiatrist, for fuck’s sake!  And she’d just set a land speed record for letting her temper take control of her big mouth.  She wondered how hard it would be to get her job in Quantico back.

The groan Barba uttered as he got up from his desk to refill his coffee cup was very similar to the one Frankie had just made.  She had an answer for everything, didn’t she? Rafael did not appreciate being pigeonholed or labeled, and he saw right through that tactic.  She thought she could dismiss his misgivings about her as part of some macho, “elite of the bourgeoisie” flaw in his character, turning any questioning of her into proof of his own inadequacy.  Clever. And annoying as fuck.  Rafael understood how she’d ended up in the FBI; he only wondered why she wasn’t in Psy Ops.  He couldn’t wait to see what happened when the DNA came back showing Stephens was the rapist.  

Only it didn’t.

The DNA under the victim’s fingernails was Stephens’s, as he’d said it would be.  But his DNA did not match the rape kits of any of the three victims tied to the Pattern 20 rapist.  The squad took it in stride, Lieutenant Benson was intrigued, and Barba was annoyed.  He could see absolutely no indication of gloating or superiority in Dr. Rojas as the team settled in around the SVU conference table at the station house.  Which was surprising, because he was watching for it. He knew it would come out eventually.

Amanda Rollins had been the one to state the obvious.  “Well, you were right.  Stephens isn’t our guy.”

“I wish he was,” Rojas had said, sliding a thin laptop out of her leather carryall before stuffing the carryall under her chair.   She hoped that was all she would have to say about it.  

“Sorry if it seemed like we doubted you,” the sexy black detective with the weird name said.  

“Don’t be.  We need to be candid with one another.  When you think I’m wrong, say so.  Trust me, I’ll fuck up,” she responded, lifting a cup of coffee to her lips and making a dismissive gesture with her other hand.  

“Fin, you want to start us off?”  Lieutenant Benson asked, beginning the briefing.  

Fin, that’s right. And his last name was…  Tortuga, Tutahkhamen, something like that.

Frankie was intrigued to see what Barba’s attitude would be. As Carisi had predicted, the squad seemed perfectly willing to follow the evidence wherever it led, but they hadn’t seemed to put their own credibility on the line as to whether Stephens was the rapist.  He had.  She was actually relieved when he said nothing about having been wrong, and gave no indication that there was anything to say.  Sometimes egotistical blowhards like him could be even more insulting when they tried to be polite.  

The briefing was fairly routine.  Having gotten through this first hiccup, Frankie hoped things would run more smoothly with her new team.  She couldn’t help feeling like she’d dodged a bullet in being right about Stephens.  Barba and the SVU squad all knew each other.  They’d worked together for years.  They could make all the mistakes they wanted at this point, and it wouldn’t change their baseline impressions of each other.  But if she’d been wrong, their first impression and permanent impression of her would be – well, it would be what Barba’s was. That she was a pushy know-it-all who couldn’t stand to be wrong, even when the evidence made it clear.

What she’d said to Barba was mostly true; she didn’t have much of an ego.  But she did have a tendency to say what she thought when keeping her peace might be a better choice, and when the team had looked to be concluding that Stephens was their rapist, she had been sure they were wrong, and had said so before she could think better of it.  She cursed herself, for the billionth time, for making such a stupid mistake, especially in a new job.  As she’d told Barba, she knew what people tended to expect when they first met her.  So why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut?  It didn’t matter what she thought – the DNA was going to tell the truth, anyway.  She’d never learn.  Sometimes she thought her life would be easier if she’d been born mute.

When the briefing was over, the team all had assignments, including her.  She re-packed her carryall to return to her office and get to work re-analyzing the victim and witness interviews.  Seeing Barba waiting for the elevator, she headed for the stairs.  

“Avoiding me now?”  He caught her just as she entered the stairway.

Frankie turned around to face him.  “Of course not.  I just like to take the stairs.”

“Don’t you want to hear me say that you were right and I was wrong?”

“To tell you the truth, not particularly.  I actually find that more awkward than the other way around.”

“That’s odd.  I don’t.”

It took all Frankie’s self-control not to make a snarky reply.  Of course this man didn’t mind hearing he was right.  “Well, I’m sure you’ll have that opportunity, Counselor.  Will you excuse me?  I’d like to get back to work.”    

“Not before I apologize and acknowledge that you were correct.”

“Right… um…  it’s all good.  Apology accepted.  I appreciate it.  I’m gonna just…”  Frankie pointed to the stairs and began to descend, deeply uncomfortable and desperate to get out of this situation.  

Barba shook his head as he watched her basically run down the stairs in her pumps.  Normally, he would have wondered how someone that amateurish had achieved the things this woman had.  But in the case of Francisca Rojas, he had a pretty good idea.  She’d said it herself.  She was a rich girl whose father had undoubtedly bought her way into Texas A&M, and all the way through medical school.  She hadn’t mentioned her looks, but Rafael had no doubt that all she’d had to do was shake that long, black hair and bat those dark eyes to get wherever she wanted to go from there.  FBI Barbie.  She had no idea how accurate he found that description.  

 “Hey!  Doc!”  

Frankie turned around to see Carisi standing in line at the coffee cart outside the station house.  He must have made a beeline from the briefing to be there already.  

“Detective Carisi.”

“Sonny.”

“Is ‘Sonny’ short for something?”

“It’s Dominick.  But my father is Dominick, so…”

“Got it.  Sonny.  And I’m Frankie.”

“Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

“I’d love it.  Thanks.  I’m addicted to the stuff.  Double-shot skinny latte.”

“Hey, that’s what Barba drinks.”

“No kidding.  You’re clearly a great detective.  You may have just found the one thing he and I have in common.”

“You two don’t seem to have gotten off to a very good start.  If you don’t mind my saying so.”  

“I don’t mind you saying the sky is blue, either.  Some things are just true.”

“So what’s the problem? Still the Stephens thing?”

“It’s nothing.  We’ll work it out.  We’re both professionals.”

Sonny knew a conversation diverter when he heard one. “Rojas.  That’s Mexican, right?”

“Right.”

“When I heard your name, and that you were from Texas, I wasn’t sure what kind of accent to expect. But I don’t hear one at all.”

Frankie laughed.  “Would you believe me if I told you I speak Spanish with a Texas twang?”

“Is that a thing?” Carisi smiled, which made his blue eyes crinkle in a way Frankie found endearing.  

“Actually, yes.”

“Barba speaks Spanish.”

Frankie tried not to show her irritation.  She really wanted to get off the subject of Barba.  “Great.  Then he can hate me in two languages.”  

They reached the front of the line and Carisi ordered their coffee.  “He’s a good guy, you know.  Really. Kind of a sharp tongue, but when you get to know him, you’ll see that’s just the way he talks.”  

Frankie didn’t believe him, and she made another attempt to change the subject.  “Speaking of accents, would it be rude for me to ask about yours?”

“Staten Island.  Born and raised.  Where are you from in Texas?”

“Just outside of Austin.”

As the conversation turned to more pleasant subjects, Frankie started to enjoy the opportunity to spend a few minutes outside on this sunny spring afternoon, having a calm, enjoyable conversation with one of her new coworkers.  It was even better when Amanda Rollins came out to join them, soda in hand.  She suggested they take a short walk to stretch their legs, which Carisi declined, saying he had some calls to make.  

“Is Sonny really as nice as he seems?”  Frankie asked as she and Amanda set off down the block.

“Unbelievably, yes.  He can also toss a perp against a car with the best of them when the situation calls for it.”

“Nice combo.”

“You know, I couldn’t help but notice things aren’t starting out so well with you and Barba.”

“Shit.  Sonny was just telling me the same thing.  I’m embarrassed.  I can actually behave like a professional, believe it or not.”

“But can you toss a perp against a car when the situation calls for it?”

“Probably not,” Frankie laughed.  “Although I’d like to try it with Barba.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?”

“It’s more me than him. I just have a visceral reaction to his type.  Arrogant, snide, macho, chauvinistic, you know.”

“You might be surprised to learn that Barba’s none of that,” Rollins noted.  “OK, arrogant and snide, maybe.  But in a good way.”  

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am totally serious. But in your defense, I thought the same thing about him at first.  Except I thought it was hot.”

“Hot?  Barba?”

“Of course.  Even if you don’t like him, you have to admit he’s got that whole green-eyed latin thing happening.  And the way he dresses…”

“Ugh.  Sorry.  I can’t get past the personality.”

“I’ll make you a bet. In a month, you’ll like him a lot better than you do now.  And you’ll agree with me that he’s hot.”

“I’ll take that bet.  What are the stakes?”  

“Well, I’m a compulsive gambler in recovery, so we better keep it to something in the realm of foods that aren’t good for us.”

“I’m a total sucker for anything with frosting.”

“Oh, well that makes it easy.  Patsy’s Cupcakes on Church Street.  Loser buys a dozen for the winner.”

“You’re on.”

[venusandluc]

The face of an angel :Chapter 4-

a warning he does get to see her undergarments but back then undergarments were basically shorts and a tank top so like I think you all be fine- plus they don't do anything so like... Meh

---------------------------------------------

There, he said it. And he immediately felt stupid. She saved him, of course, she was fine... But he couldn't be sure without her saying so. He feared, even if he thought it absurd, that if he left without asking,  something bad might happen. And for once he wasn't a fan of that forecasting.

She didn't turn to face him. Her body tensed. He could see that. A state of shock hitting her. Did he know? She knew it was possible, but she hoped that he didn't know.  The angel's body now completely shivering. The bitter cold entering her bones again. Her legs almost buckled under her gown, but she stood tall. " Why do you ask?" she needed to know why he asked. The angel wanted to know if they were on the same page. What did he remember!? Oh, my lord! Please don't let this man know!

" your shaking" the Phantom lifted a brow, not that she could see that. " it's none of my business, I rather not accuse another-" he stopped himself, walking towards her and away from the door making his way over to the small flower. "So. Are you going tell Erik~"  a smirk laid on his face as his velvet-like voice left his lips- towering over her.

her doll eyes didn't dare to meet his gaze.  " I don't have anything to tell Erik." she started, trying to forget about the discomfort her legs. "I'm fine." this was said in a cold tone as if she was telling him to leave. The tone was as frigid. As frozen as her legs. She was far from fine.

" Erik doesn't appreciate your lies-" hid voice hissed, "plus, I won't depart till you tell me."  with those words he leaned down so that was face to face. Blowing the hair out of her face, before laughing as she turned away from him. " giving me the cold shoulder? How rude." the demon snickered, " what's with the chilly attitude?" a big smirk on his face as he said such things, he was teasing her.

The nuns cold blue eyes suddenly looked into the sockets that Erik called his eyes.  She looked as she wasn't going turn down but there was some unease in her eyes. Sue knew this man could easily overpower her. But she didn't speak, placing her fingers on the brim of her mouth pretending to lock them, and flick the key in demons face.

The phantom could only groan and take a step away in reaction.

" you are just an arrogate little brat aren't you?" He frowned and turned from her, "well then," he headed for the door, as his tongue clicked to the top of his mouth. " we aren't alone in here, I'll just go to some other nun, tongued or

Untongued, and tell her! Then we will both be  but that seems to be what you want!"

The nun's eyes widened in fear, was he treating her?! How dare he! If he told anyone, the punishment would be harsh. They might even throw her out of the church! They punished her for even speaking, but for sneaking out. As well as bringing a man into her room. That would assume she had relations with this man!

Her hand clasped onto the others arm about to speak, when she collapsed. Falling into Erik's arms, who tried to catch her. The pain in her legs had finally become too much.

" See, Erik is always right." he sighed as he hoisted her up and placed her on the bed. Leaning on the wall next to it. " Warning, Erik has never given first aid to anyone, well, nobody but Erik. Erik absolutely has no idea what he's doing." 

that in no way helped, the sister's legs curling up more under her gown. Her face a light pink. Not being able to look in Erik's eyes. "I'm Fine... Please just leave. If you need to go, then just go."

She was stubborn, a stubborn little carnation wasn't she? "Erik, well, I don't need to go." not like he had anywhere to even go, all he ever had was gone, " I like to." However, even if it is a blessing to leave this room, this tension that you could cut with a knife, other things filled his mind. "I would like to assist you."

The nuns face held skepticism, she had always been alone, persay... It was hard for her to take help when handed to her. Plus, this help would include... Him... Beholding her undergarments.

Erik was now closer to the bed. A smug look ok his lips "oh, I would also like to know what to perhaps may have been doing, when- you know, saved me?~" Yes, that was very important as well, even if it caused her face to scrunch and become tense.

"no-" she said in a harsh manner. To both tries from the man. She refuses to talk about the lake or the water, and this help would most likely spiral into a conversation about it.

"Oh, come on, " he sat at the foot of the bed as if he was a dog. " You're very disrespectful. You can't act like this! Someone is offering you help for free! That's not very common outside, you know?" the former opera ghost placing his thin hand by the nun's feet. His spidery hand moving impatiently. " Now, let Erik help you." His hand grabbing the hem of her dress lifting it up so he could take a ponder at her legs.

But instead of seeing her leg, he got a foot abruptly colliding with his face, with such vitality that it would break a man's nose. But Erik didn't have a nose. It still hurt even so. Knocking him over. His boney fingers tracing across his disfigured face.  Him letting out a growl. Blood cramming into the bandages that laid on his face. " You insufferable little wench!!!!" he hissed out, as he stood up, swiftly pinning her to the bed.

" I OFFERED you my help and this is how you-" they're- right there in her eyes was fear- no pain. It hurt her as much as it hurt him. Pain shooting through her leg. Even if she was in pain she deserved it for knocking him in the face. He did loosen his grasp on her, he could honestly crush her at any given moment, kill her like all the others. Crack her legs off as she screamed! Or choke her! Immerse her! He could so easily do all these things. But he couldn't. Those thoughts now becoming a nightmare. It was her eyes, her face... he couldn't understand.

He tried to imagine his fingers grasping around her small delicate neck, once again, but nothing came up... Just more repulsion; and stress. It felt horrible! Maybe it was just the guilt talking, he didn't feel it often so it had to be true.

He slowly let go, looking away from her. Letting her sit up. " If you are frightened for my decency - don't worry. I'm not the type to lust over prudent children." Well, that was a lie. But he didn't lust for her. It wasn't lust, it was something entirely different, a want. A desire. Not for her body... It was so confusing.

" I'm not a child," she said swiftly, but she knew deep inside he wouldn't leave her be. She would eventually have to give in. " Fine-" left her lips. If he didn't touch her she would be fine. " But I will be taking off my own gown." the pain becoming too much for her.

Lucien's hands trailed down the dress before undoing the buttons. Dropping the black and white dress on the bed, leaving her only in her white undergarments. She wore white puffy like shorts, with a ruffle going down each 1 inch. And a white corset, like top. With small sleeves on each side. Her white, unnatural face gaining pink, even if it wasn't like the phantom could see anything.

He could see her legs now, they were so smooth and white, like glass. So skinny, so doll-like even. but containing the gray color of frostbite - no blue. No purple. As some blisters started to appear on her legs. Nasty purple little things. Ruining Erik's beautiful little doll.

His fingers traced her legs, brushing her ankle. " Can you feel anything?" he got no response just her jerking her leg away from his touch. His eyes shut as she retreated, his hands still yearning for her cold touch. When he glanced at her, he saw fear in her eyes. He hated that look. He desired... What did he desire?

"Carnation, you don't have to be frightened." the man sighed, and at that moment he knew. "You tended to my wounds, let me do you the favor and do the same."

"I - I don't fear you " those words music to his ears, almost. They could be a lie. For all he knew, they were a lie, wasn't the first time someone lied to him. " I'm just anxious "  it made sense for her to be, she was a woman in her undergarments in front of a man she pulled off the street. She wasn't scared of him, she was scared of the sin that she was doing. She has never been touched by a man. Unless you count the priest, but baptism doesn't count.

Her breath hitched a bit, the angels in her head crying out for her to stop, as she placed her leg on the other hand. "its only fair, for me to let you. As I had to get under your clothes... To get to all those dastardly wounds." she cheeks now a pinkish color but still containing her inhuman look.

He nodded and tried to ignore the newfound intimacy they shared. He applies soft pressure to her leg, again asking " can you feel that."

She bit into her lip as he did that, and nodded " yes- I can " she shuddered out, a warm but cold feeling shooting through her legs. Such a puzzling feeling. " Erik." was all she could mutter out as he stroked her legs absentmindedly, at least making them a bit warmer.

They were like ice, so cold, so pure. So different from Christine's. She wasn't as small. Of course, he could break her if he wished to, but why would he ever harm his dear Christine. But, even so, this girl, this one, he seemed to be able to apply such little pressure to her and the glass that made her would cover and the floor.

That when he noticed his wrongdoing, his usual yellow skin turning rosy under the bandages. " I heard body heat helps." he tries to excuse himself.

The angel didn't pull away but instead blessed him with her other lovely leg. "Yes- you are correct." she spoke as her legs relaxed in his hands, god would burn her in hell if he knew. Her giving into her desire, his desire. But she was no whore. Them just sharing a connection, that neither wished to let go of.

This moment lasted a bit longer, both of them not speaking a word enjoying the comforting silence. Her skin usually white, but the former Oprea Ghost could tell when it came to be natural for her. Taking his hands away from her pure skin, a sense of longing filling his fingertips. As if he made a mistake he could not fix. He sighed " feeling better?" breaking the delightful silence that consumed them.

She noticed the feeling gone and quickly nodded her head, lifting herself from the bed in order to get the feeling back, placing herself in the demon's lap. Erik's lips opened to make an argument but she ordered him to hush pressing her head to his chest. Enjoying this feeling.

Maybe she was using him for his body heat, perhaps the devil's ways that the others warned her so much about overtook her. But that didn't seem to matter now, as she pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the soft music of his heartbeat. Lulling her to sleep.

It seemed that their relationship developed quite rapidly under such circumstances... Erik could only embrace her, and rest his chin on the crown of her head. Warming her up some more. She was really tiny, fitting in his arms quite perfectly.

Has he ever braced anyone in this way? No... He didn't believe he had. It was so freeing.

Slowly, his lids begin to fall. Them to heavy, his body way too warm to keep himself awake. The fiend fell asleep, the first time in years feeling so comfortable. His dream's full of angels, music, his darling Christine, and the freezing water. Unknowing that this simple act would change his world, no, their world forever.

[panda-noosh]

Sunshine {demigod!Keith x Reader}

Words: 6k

  Summary: Keith Kogane was insufferable. An absolute nightmare to be around. So why are you getting visions of him kissing you?

  Genre: angst – percyjackson!au

  Warning: if pet names make you cringe, you might not wanna read this.

  Notes: masterlist – “Tbh just imagine a demigod au. Where Keith is still son of ares and the reader is the daughter of Apollo and Keith calls her sunshine constantly... fuuuuuuuuuuudgee I want Keith to call me sunshine.” I got this lovely anon message a few hours back and I really, really loved it. I know I kind of strayed a little bit from the main concept, but I have a habit of getting carried away with these things and my black heart just had to throw the angst in lol. But I hope you all enjoy!!

  ---

  He was stupid.

   Stupid, and annoying, and quite honestly, not worth your precious time.

   Keith Kogane had an attitude that just irked you. It got on your nerves, made you bristle with the firey need to put him in his place at all times. He could never just talk. He had to command. All because his dad was Ares, god of war, Keith thought he was some big shot demigod who deserved all of the attention and all of the fame and all of the credit for things that, honestly, he wouldn't have been able to do if it weren't for the Apollo cabin.

    It was an Ares personality trait, you were well aware. They all did it. They all had this aura of superiority about them, and even though Keith seemed mild in comparison to his siblings, he still managed to be the one guy who caught your eye and annoyed you.

   Even now, during the most quiet time of the day at Camp Half-Blood; training. Training was a necessary thing in Camp Half-Blood, and it was bad if you skipped it. Chiron often got angry at people for skipping it, and an angry Chiron was a Chiron you did not want to deal with, which was why you were currently leaning against the fence post, arms folded over your chest, trying to pretend like you weren't glaring over at Keith Kogane as he battled it out with one of his sisters.

     “You know, you're not making yourself look very subtle,” Hunk, your half-brother, called over to you.

   Your eyebrows twitched up as you turned to look at him, arms still folded over your chest so that your Sun Blade gently nicked against the fabric of your training gear. “Hm?”

   “You. You've been staring over at the Ares cabin for the past ten minutes. Haven't moved a muscle. I thought you'd been paralysed for a moment.”

   You flushed, tried to cover it by biting your lip and looking away. Hunk and you were of similar ages, but you didn't like to talk about that. The fact that your father had gone from your mother to Hunk's mother in less than a few months was a fact you both chose to ignore. It was easier that way, just letting the gods get on with their own things and hope they didn't interject in your business in the meantime.

    “Do you think you two will ever stop fighting with one another?” Hunk asked whenever you didn't respond to his earlier comments. He was busy now swinging a rope of fire above his head, ready to let it loose whenever the time was right.

    “Who?”

   “Well who else?” he said, getting impatient with your fake obliviousness. “You and Keith! The sexual tension drives me up a wall, and I think everyone would be a bit happier if you two just finally decided to stop pretending you hate one another-”

   “I'm gonna stop you there,” you said, before you clicked your fingers. A ball of fire erupted in your palms and you hastily threw it through the centre of the rope Hunk was still swinging around; the fireball sliced through it, and Hunk's magical rope of fire disappeared, ashes floating to the ground being the only evidence it had been there at all.

   Hunk frowned and glared over at you, but you ignored him and turned your head back to where the Ares cabin were training; to hell with them all, you said. To hell with him. To hell with his fancy equipment and the fact that he could easily lift a sword with barely a grimace to describe the weight of it. To hell with his sly comments. To hell with his protruding muscles and black hair that was currently slicked back with a thin sheen of sweat that was dripping down his forehead and his nose and making him glisten golden in the sunlight-

   Yeah. Yeah. To hell with him.

    Everybody else thought they had it all figured out. Everybody commented on the sexual tension between you and Keith – so much so that you had gotten to the point where you had just stopped trying to defend yourself. In your head, it was utterly outrageous that anyone would sense sexual tension between you and the son of Ares – whenever you looked at Keith, the last thing on your mind was jumping his bones. Whenever you looked at Keith, the only thing you wanted to do to him was tell him to shut up and perhaps send a swift punch to the back of his neck.

   But nobody else seemed to understand that. They all seemed to think you two were just dawdling. That you two were just playing your hand at this hard-to-get thing, and eventually you would come together and it would all fall into place and everybody would be able to say I told you so. You nearly scoffed, folding your arms back over your chest and going back to casually leaning against the fence post – they would all see. One day, you were going to fall in love with someone who wasn't a complete asshole, who wasn't a complete show off. Then they'll all laugh and talk about how stupid they had been to think you and Keith could be anything more than mortal enemies.

   ----

    “Good morning, Sunshine.”

   You cried out, eyes snapping open as soon as the words were whispered in your throbbing ear.

  You jerked upright and immediately came face-to-face with the absolute last person you wanted to see in this moment.

    “What the hell are you doing here?” you snarled, shoving Keith away from you. He laughed as he stumbled back, giving you just enough time to push yourself away from the tree you had been dozing against and stand up straight. You were well aware of the dribble that was staining the corner of your mouth, the hay currently weaving its way through your tousled hair. You didn't care. Not in the slightest. Not one bit.

   You were hurriedly fixing your appearance for you and you only.

   Keith was grinning from ear to ear when you looked back up at him, and it was only whenever you made eye contact with him that you realised he hadn't actually answered your question.

   “Did you just call me Sunshine?” you asked, forgetting about your previous query. You could care less what he was doing here – he could do what he wanted, just as long as he left you out of it.

   He grinned even deeper. “Did you like it? I came up with it myself whenever I was watching you fall asleep a minute ago.”

   You flushed crimson, despite trying your hardest not to. “Watching people sleep is creepy.”

   “Yeah, well, you kind of left me no choice when you decided to fall asleep whilst on watch. I've basically just saved your ass, Sunshine.”

   You gritted your teeth against the nickname, gritted your teeth against the absolute physical reaction it set off within you. You cursed to yourself. Butterflies were stampeding through your stomach, and you hated everything about it.

    “If Chiron were to have been the one walking through-”

   “Yes, okay Keith, I get it. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. You don't need to go on about it.”

   “Oh, but I do. And I think I will for a little while longer.” He chuckled as you ground your teeth together, fists clenching at your sides. You could feel your skin heating up with the anger coursing through you, and it took everything in you not to completely explode at him in this moment – he had some nerve!

    “You can go now,” you said. “You did your job – I'm awake.”

   “I thought I could give you some company. You still have another three hours of watch to complete, and I'm sure it gets lonely out here all on your lonesome.”

   You rolled your eyes and slumped back against the tree. Though he was right, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing such a thing. “I'm good, thanks. I'll make do on my own.”

   But Keith, forever being the stubborn Ares son that he was, did not listen. He barely even registered your words as he pulled his sword from his back, set it on the grass before he slumped down beside you.

   It was as soon as his shoulder brushed yours that the world melted away and left nothing behind but the oddest sight you had ever seen.

   You were familiar with this feeling, this sudden disassociation from the world; all of the Apollo kids were. Having a father who was the god of prophesies often left you no choice but to suddenly disconnect from everyone else so you could catch a glimpse into the future, but never before had you felt it this strongly.

   The sight before you was strange; you were familiar with the surrounding area, but you were confused as to why you would be standing in the Ares cabin. But you were. You could see the tapestries hung up on the wall, the weaponry littering the floor, the unmade beds and the scraps of food laying around hopelessly.

   The cabin was empty bar you and Keith.

   Keith was standing close to you. Much too close for your liking, and his hand was on your hip and you were staring at him in a way you were fairly certain you had never looked at anyone else before in your entire life. Your jaw was clenched – as it usually was whenever you were in Kogane's presence – but you were making no move to shuffle away from his touch.

   The scene was moving in slow motion. Keith moved forward a single step, and then your hands were slowly rising and knotting into his red shirt, pulling him closer as if the rope had finally snapped and you just needed him to be close to you.

    Keith leaned in. He whispered something you couldn't hear, leaned in a little bit more. From the sidelines, it was almost as if you could feel his breath tickling the space just below your ear, could smell his deodrant, could feel his heartbeat through your-

   “Y/N!”

   Your eyes snapped open. You gasped. The heat that had once engulfed your body had grown ten fold, and it took everything in you not to cry out with the slight burst of pain that came with snapping out of a prophesy.

   You scattered forward. You didn't want to be touching him. Not right now. Not whenever your powers were sensitive, and every bone in your body was vibrating with the overwhelming emotions you were feeling right now.

     Keith was on his knees, having clearly just been trying to snap you out of your episode. He looked at you now, though, with wide, worried eyes, his hands gripping the leaves you had once been sat on as if trying to stabilise himself.

   “I'm sorry,” you choked out, unsure as to what you were apologising for.

   “What just happened?” he asked. “Gods, Y/N, you look like you're about to pass out. You need to-”

   “I need to get back to the Apollo cabin,” you snapped. It came out harsher than you intended, but his recoil comforted you. It meant you weren't at risk of him touching you any time soon. “Can you – Can you take over my watch?”

   Keith was stiff. You expected him to tell you to go to hell, to tell you to suck it up and carry on with your job, but he didn't. His head barely moved, but you knew he was nodding, and as soon as you got the green light, you fled as fast as you could into the darkness, refusing to turn back and look at him.

   ---

   Surely he hadn't been about to kiss you?

   He was Keith Kogane, for crying out loud. The eerie, annoying boy you had despised from the moment you had both said hello to each other on that cold winters day all them years ago – you had only been seven years old, had been stuck at Camp Half-Blood for a little over two years whenever innocent little Keith stumbled in through the gates and immediately tried to make every person his bitch – he thought he was superior even then. It must have been a shock to the system whenever he learned that every single person he was trying to outsmart had been through the exact same thing as him – he wasn't the only troubled kid with a god for a parent.

   You soaked in the bath water and tried to think up any excuse you could as to why your brain had conjured up such an absurd image.

   Your skin was still scolding; it hadn't cooled down from the moment you had scrambled from Keith's side. The bath water you had run had been cold, but was now lukewarm at the contact of your flesh against it. You rubbed the water up your arms, but nothing happened. You were still sweating, still shaking as if you had a fever.

    It had given you such a physical response, and you couldn't quite figure out why. Perhaps it was because it had been cut off so abruptly – everybody knew that it was extremely dangerous to pull an Apollo kid out of one of their visions. It shocked the body too much, even had a slight risk of death if the shock got the better of them.

   You were lucky that your vision had been one you wanted to be pulled out of as soon as possible.

   “Y/N? Are you still in there?”

   You flinched upright, wiping hair out of your face. “Hunk. Yeah. Sorry. I'll just be a minute.”

   “Keith told me what happened to you. He seemed really worried.”

   You froze, hands gripping the edge of the bath tightly. So tight that your knuckles paled. Your throat suddenly felt slick, and you closed your eyes against his words.

    “You know we have to tell Dad whenever something like this happens, don't you? It's protocol.”

   “Hunk, please don't.” You scrambled out of the water then, grabbing a towel and wrapping it tightly around your middle. You were comfortable enough with Hunk like this – sharing a cabin with him for as long as you had done meant that having a towel wrapped around you was hardly a shock to the system.

   You opened the door to the washroom. Hunk was leaning against the door, messing idly with his bandanna which he had taken off for the night. He had a green face mask drenching his skin, and was dressed in his silken pyjamas with ducks on them.

    He looked up at you through the gaps in his face mask.

    “Dad has to know,” he said. “In fact, I don't doubt that he already knows. He sees everything, that guy, I swear to gods.”

   You winced. “I don't want to talk to him. I don't even – Look, it wasn't that big of a deal. We all get visions every now and then-”

   “And they're dangerous,” said Hunk, because they were. “There's a reason we're trained up to try and fight them off, Y/N. They cause trauma. They've killed some of us.”

   You shivered. “I'm still alive.”

  “But you're clearly shaken up.” Hunk sighed then and ran a hand through his brown hair. “Keith was worried, and that's what worried me. He said your skin started heating up really badly and then your eyes started glowing golden and then you just bolted from him. What did you even see?”

    “Nothing,” you said immediately. “Nothing special. I don't even remember it that well.”

    Hunk raised a brow, clearly not believing a single word you were saying. Oh well. You didn't need him to believe you – the prophesy was over, and it was obviously a mistake. What you had seen made no sense, and never would make sense, and you were better off just forgetting about it.

   With this thought, your skin heated up even more. You gritted your teeth against the slight buzz of pain that came with such a thing, and Hunk took notice.

   He shook his head. “Dad will want to see you. I wouldn't be surprised if he was here by tomorrow to talk to you.”

   “Dad doesn't need to worry-”

   “Dad isn't worried. He's doing what he needs to do to make sure his kids aren't prophetising some unknown war.” He sighed. “And by the looks of you now, what you saw disturbed you.”

   ---

   Apollo made his appearance the very next day.

   Just as you remembered him with his glowing, golden eyes and his tanned skin. He had on his usual pair of red tinted sunglasses, his fingers littered with an unnecessary amount of golden rings, golden necklaces looping around his neck. On his middle finger, he had tattooed a smiling sun.

    He grinned brightly when he saw you. “Y/N!”

   It was a surprise he even remembered you.

   You smiled shyly as Chiron closed the door and gave you and your father some privacy – privacy that you didn't see as necessary, but refused to comment on right now. It would only make Apollo uncomfortable, and you didn't want to deal with an angry, uncomfortable god at the moment.

   “I've been made aware that there's some stuff you and I need to discuss, hm?” he said. He pulled a chair out from beneath the large, mahogany desk and sat down, before he clicked his fingers and another one shot out towards you. You hesitantly took a seat beside him, idly messing with your fingers in your lap.

    “You had a vision last night, didn't you, little one?”

   You gritted your teeth. “I don't know what you're talking about.” It was easier to lie, even though you knew full well that your father was well aware of your deceptions.

   He raised a brow, barely visible above his massive sunglasses. “So we're playing dumb today, hm? Did I not raise you to never tell lies? Did I not tell you that lying wasn't going to get you anywhere?”

   “That might have been one of your other kids.”

 Apollo frowned thoughtfully. “Might have been. I don't really remember.” He snapped back to reality then. “Tell me what it was you saw, Y/N. Exactly what you saw.”

   And you were well aware that it was his powers making you do it, were well aware that your father was currently in your head, stifling through your troubled thoughts for that one memory, that one prophesy that had gotten you here in the first place. You were well aware that you wouldn't be able to lie even if you wanted to.

   The sudden pull on your conscience was entirely him, and without your permission, the entire vision you had suffered through the night before was pouring from your lips in immense, over-dramatic detail.

   Apollo sat back and listened as you unfolded for him. You winced when you heard yourself talking about how Keith had leaned in, how your hands had bunched up in his shirt, how you had been in the Ares cabin in the first place. That in itself was weird enough without the added dramatics of a potential kiss thrown into the mix.

   After the tale was told, you gasped and felt a force pushing you back into the chair. You hadn't even realised you had been leaning forward. Sweat now lined your forehead, and you felt manipulated.

    “Gods,” you whispered, wiping a trembling hand over your brow. “I don't know how things are in Olympus, father, but here on earth, what you just did is illegal.”

   “False,” he said casually. “Your government do it all the time. Now, let's discuss what it is I've just seen – does my daughter have a little crush?”

   You flushed bright red, hand freezing on your forehead. “What?”

   “Well, why else would you be having prophesies about kissing Keith Kogane? A son of Ares, of all people! You could have gone for someone from the Hephaestus cabin – they're much calmer, I think. Although Hephaestus can cause a ruckus every now and-”

   “I do not have a crush on Keith Kogane!” you shrilled.

   Apollo flinched back. “Don't raise your voice like that.”

   “Then don't make assumptions like that!”

   “It wasn't an assumption, little one. I saw what I saw, and you saw it as well – it was a prophesy. A very brief glimpse into the future that will-”

  “It was a mistake, is what it was,” you snarled. “Keith and I hate each other!”

   “Not according to Hunk.”

  Your face fell. “You spoke to Hunk?”

   “I thought I'd catch up with him, yes.” He casually leaned back in the chair, draping his arm over the back of it. At first glimpse, you would have truly seen him as no older than his mid twenties. “He told me that the son of Ares was quite worried for you yesterday – flustering around, asking how you were and if he could see you. That doesn't sound like hate to me – not at all.”

   “And what would you know?” you mumbled, folding your arms over your chest and sinking lower into your seat.

   “You're acting like a brat now, Y/N,” Apollo said. “You were never like this when you were a youngster. You're meant to grow out of these fazes, not grow into them.”

    You hollowed out your cheeks, resisting the urge to get up and leave. It was useless anyway. No doubt Apollo had put some magical, double bolted lock on the gods damned door and you would be trapped in here until his say so. But you had butterflies in your stomach, and your skin was prickling with a heat that had not come from the aftershocks of a vision – it was pure embarrassment, pure emotion that was making you want to open a window right now to let air wash over you.

    “Personally, I'm relieved the vision wasn't something more,” continued Apollo. “It could have been disastrous, but it was nothing more than some romantic awakening. Quite anticlimactic, if I do say so.”

    “Hmph.”

   Apollo grinned then, a grin that was almost identical to your own. “Oh, do cheer up, little one. Perhaps Keith Kogane will be good at kissing. Do I need to give him the dad-to-boyfriend talk before I leave?”

   “I think you can just leave.”

   Apollo grinned even brighter, as if his daughter hadn't just totally banished him from her presence. “Very well then. I bid you good luck for the future and all that.” He stood up, stretched out his limbs dramatically. As he brought his arms back down from their sky-high stretch, he slapped his hands against your head in that way grandfathers often did for the sake of it. You winced, shying away from his touch.

    “It was good seeing you again, little one,” he said. “And remember – there's no point in fighting off the inevitable. It'll just leech your energy.”

   And without a reply to carry him back to Olympus, your father erupted into flames and disappeared.

   ---

   “Oi! Sunshine! Oi! There you are!”

   You quickened your pace. He was the last person you wanted to see. The absolute last person you wanted to-

   He grabbed your wrist, tugged you back. As soon as his fingers wrapped around wrist, you gasped and flinched away, afraid of his touch triggering another vision. They were rare, but you didn't want to risk it happening again.

   “What do you want?” you hissed, rubbing your wrist frantically, as if trying to banish your skin of the feel of him completely.

   Keith's eyes widened. “Woah. What's wrong with you?”

   “Can you just say what you want to say and let me leave? I don't exactly wanna speak to you right now.”

   He seemed stunned. You weren't sure why. The both of you had ever gotten along – if he was shocked at your attitude now, you hastened to wonder just how soft you had been with him before.

    “Well, if you're gonna be a bitch, I guess I'll just go,” he said. “Sorry for wanting to make sure you were okay after last night.”

   You were angry. You were furious, and you weren't even sure why. Your skin felt warm, and his violet eyes were pouring into yours and you could feel your legs turning to jelly as you remembered the way you could genuinely feel his breath on your neck during your vision when he had leaned in so slowly, so teasingly-

   And it made you mad. It made you mad that people had been right, that this prophesy was something you couldn't avoid. Apollo had made it out to be something so simple, and you supposed it was to him, but to you, it currently meant everything.

   The fact that Keith didn't even know just made you angry.

   “Don't pretend like you give a shit about what you saw yesterday,” you snarled. Keith's eyes widened even further. “Gods, you must have thought it was so amazing to see an Apollo kid actually have a fucking breakdown in real life – you've only heard of them in story books, haven't you?”

   “Y/N-”

   “But they're real, Keith, and they happen, and they suck. They hurt, and they destroy lives. So get a good look at the aftermath whilst you still can, because I don't want to see you again after this.” With that, you stepped forward, shoved him roughly for no other reason than you just wanted to feel his skin beneath your fingertips before you turned and fled.

   This would be how you avoided the prophesy coming true. You just wouldn't talk to him. You would hurt him, say awful things to get him to stay away from you – then maybe the future would shift. It would change itself and you would never have to worry about making a complete and utter fool out of yourself ever again.

   Keith didn't even bother to reach for you whenever you turned and walked away from him, making sure to stomp your feet and clench your fists, making sure to make yourself look extra angry – maybe the fury would repel him even further. Maybe he would see this side to you and realise he had been an absolute fool to mingle with you in the first place.

   And weirdly, as soon as you entered the Apollo cabin and crashed down upon your bed, you had never felt emptier.

   ---  

   Weeks passed. Nearly an entire month.

   Hunk had been keeping you sane throughout the whole thing. He had been there for you the morning after your outburst on Keith, had rubbed your back and said he understood. Of course, he had told you that he didn't think you should have run from your feelings in the way you had, but he hadn't forced the topic of rekindling things with the Ares boy either, which was a relief. You weren't sure how much of that you would have been able to take.

   Keith had kept his distance, as well. For the first few days, you would hear the usual hollering of the word 'Sunshine' being thrown in your direction, but he eventually gave up. He had been repelled, making your life a hell of a lot easier. Now, you could easily brush past each other in camp and not even spare one another a single glance.

   And honestly, it was destroying you.

   You weren't sure why. For years you had been fairly certain that you had only seen Keith as attractive – his personality had never grabbed your attention. At least, you didn't think so. For years, you two had been at each others throats, and now that it was gone – that innocent back and forth – you weren't entirely sure what to do with yourself.

   The days were longer. Events became more like business than fun, because Keith had always made them fun. Even though, in the moment, you would swear left and right that he was annoying the hell out of you as he poked you in the side and tried to distract you from the task at hand, now that you were missing his constant mumblings in your ear, you missed it.

    But it was for the best, you reminded yourself. Always for the best.

    It was a particularly warm day whenever Chiron ordered you to take on laundry duty for the first time in years.

   Laundry duty was mostly taken on by people in the Hephaestus cabin, or the Aphrodite cabin. The kids in those cabins had a thing for perfection, and so they very rarely let others touch their clothing, which meant they took on the added task of doing everyone elses laundry, as well.

   But the Hephaestus and Aphrodite kids were out training elsewhere today, meaning the baton had been handed down to the Apollo cabin.

    “Just deliver these to the right cabins and that's it,” said Hunk, shoving a basket full of warm clothes into your hands.

   You groaned, throwing your head back. “I didn't sign up for this.”

   “Stop whining and get it over with,” he said.

  And so you did, much to your own dismay. You were surprised to see just how many cabins you had never been in before – they were all so different, and you felt a different type of uncomfortable pull with every one, as if the gods were angry at you for trespassing.

    You weren't really thinking of seeing him whenever you racked your knuckles against the door of the Ares cabin. At the end of the day, Keith was known to never be tied down to the indoors – he liked his freedom, liked walking around outside and showing off whatever cool new blade he had acquired. So the idea of him opening the door to greet you was the last thing on your mind.

   Until it was him standing in front of you.

    The both of you blanked. You felt your fingers slipping from the handles of the laundry basket, and you had to stumble to catch it upon your knee and haul it back into your proper grip.

   It was such an easy mistake to make. It was such an easy situation to fall into, and you had never thought of it happening like this – you delivering laundry. How anticlimactic was that? Whenever you first had the vision, you thought the only way you would ever end up within the Ares cabin would be by force, perhaps a battle raging outside forcing you under the only cover you could find – the Ares cabin.

   But nope. It was happening because you had been given laundry to hand out.

   “Uh – clothes,” you said. “I have clothes.”

   Keith nodded slowly, not once taking his eyes off of you.  

   “You can take them if you want,” you continued. “Actually, I'd prefer it if you took them. I need to get this basket back to Hunk, and-”

   Keith's hand suddenly reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

   You gasped, shocked at the sudden contact. Your fingers really did slip then, the basket tumbling out of your grip and landing in a pile right in the doorway.

   The clothes spilled out, scattered themselves upon the wooden floor.

   “Son of a bitch,” Keith grunted, bending down to clean up. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-”

   “It's fine,” you said, kneeling down to help him.

   Why you had done such a thing, you were quick to question, because you and him were suddenly very close together, and your body temperature was rising again, and this was it. This was the future happening, the future you had predicted. You knew what was going to happen, knew you should try and prevent it in some way, knew there was barely any point in avoiding the inevitable but wanting to do so anyway.

   You gathered the bundle of clothes into your hand and placed them messily back into the basket – you didn't even care that the remaining cabins clothing had been mixed up, that you would have to go back to Hunk and other Apollo kids and ask them to sort through the items once again. You just wanted to drop his clothes off and leave.

   You pushed past him, shoulders nudging as you made your way into the messy room. Keith gawked at you from the doorway, but you ignored him. You had to.

    “You should thank Hunk for the washing,” you grumbled, trying to make innocent conversation. Talking was perhaps the only thing stopping you from buckling under his intense gaze right now. “He even added a special powder so all of your stupid, skin-tight shirts smell better. But I think he ended up-”

   Your words died in your throat whenever you felt a warm hand on the small of your back – it wasn't anything suggestive. It was almost as if someone was easing you through a crowd, a gentle brush against the lower part of your back that had you whirling around to face Keith before you could think any better of it.

   His eyes were searing into yours. You were the child of the god of the sun, but his gaze had to be more smouldering than what yours was. His violet eyes had turned dark, and he was biting on his lower lip.

    “Sunshine,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Where have you been?”

   Your eyes closed instinctively. You weren't sure why. Where had the tough persona disappeared to? Why weren't you shoving him away, telling him to go to hell and take his stupid nickname elsewhere?

   Maybe it had something to do with the burning desire suddenly coating your stomach, the sudden urge to wrap your fingers in his red jacket and tug him closer to you, feel him closer to you.

   “Don't – Don't call me that,” you managed.

   He chuckled breathily. You felt it tickle your skin.

    “Where have you been, Y/N?” He whispered your real name as if it were some kind of secret, leaning impossibly closer to your ear as he spoke – this was just like an Ares kid to do, but it felt so different, so unexpected coming from Keith.

    “I've been busy,” you replied. “Why do you care anyway? It's not like we ever liked each other.”

   Keith scoffed. “We certainly didn't hate each other, though, did we? Even the other campers were able to pick up on that.”

   You winced, recoiling at the mention of the things the other campers had been saying about the two of you for years now, the things you had both denied left, right and centre.

   “You were avoiding me, weren't you?” he continued. “For whatever reason, that vision you had made you want to stay away from me. What did you see, Sunshine? What does your future hold?”

   “Don't be creepy,” you said. You were trying to bring the mood back down, trying to bring back the banter you were so used to having with him, but his eyes were still hooded and dark, and he made no attempts to move away from you. On the other hand, you were making no attempts to move away from him, either.

   “It was about me, wasn't it?”

   “So many questions.”

 And then his hand was on your hip all of a sudden. This was your moment. This was the time for you to pull away, to destroy the future you had been destined to have because you were too nervous to throw yourself into that kind of thing just yet – but you stayed rooted to the spot.

     His fingertips burned. It was fire against fire, your scolding skin igniting under his grip.

    “You know that old saying they have – it takes being away from someone to realise how much you need them?”

   Your breath hitched. “Keith-”

   “I believe it,” he gravelled. “I believe it now.”

   You eased then, his confession making you feel weak. Your eyes closed again and then you were letting yourself go, saying fuck it to every single anxiety you had once had as your hands travelled up Keith's middle until you were bundling your hands in his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer.

   He leaned in to whisper in your ear, just like you knew he would. “Neither of us can change the future, Sunshine. We might as well not try.”

    He kissed you then. Slowly and precisely, as if he was afraid of hurting you somehow. His lips were chapped and bitten, but they were perfect all the same, left you craving more.

    His other hand rose from his side and he cupped your jaw, moving your head only slightly but still giving you the freedom to do what you wanted – a characteristic you never expected from an Ares kid. He was going to allow you to pull away if you wanted to. For once, he didn't want to be in complete control.

    You pulled him closer to you, crushing your bodies together until Keith was gasping against your mouth at the sudden harsh tug you gave to his shirt. You let go of the material, instead wound your hands in his hair and tugged. Keith panted against your mouth before pulling away completely. His eyes were closed, and for the first time, Keith Kogane looked vulnerable.

    “Was that – Was that what you saw in your vision?” he asked hoarsely.

   You nodded stiffly, still trying to catch your breath.

    “And you never told me?”

    “I was trying to avoid it.”

   “Look how that turned out.”

   “You just have to be right about everything, don't you?”

   He opened his eyes then, grinned and pressed a short kiss to your lips. “Always, Sunshine.”

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

B99 and The Good Place

YES. THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE THE GOOD PLACE AND BROOKLYN 99 SO MUCH. AND NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO/WITH ME ABOUT TGP. I made my friend watch it with me just so I could talk about it with someone lol. Also because it's just a genuinely good show. (Next up I'm gonna make her finish iZombie with me too, haha.)SO! For B99Favorite Main Character:Its gotta be either Rosa or Jake. You know I'm in love with both Andy Samburg and Stephanie Beatriz. (especially Stephanie Beatriz, *dreamy sigh*)Fun fact! My favorite side character is Kevin. Whether it's in B99, The Good Place, or on the Thrilling Adventure Hour, I love the deadpan humor of Marc Evan Jackson. He is, after all, a naughty bitch ;p. Favorite Female Character:Oh, for sure this goes to Rosa Diaz. I love her so much and Stephanie Beatriz plays her to absolute perfection. it's so cool to be able to see such a badass lady cop on TV, who both plays to and subverts the typical Strong Silent Badass™ trope. Rosa is from a cooler world than any of us.OTP:I know it's a boring answer, but it's gotta be Jake and Amy. From the jump their relationship was built on mutual (if, admittedly at first, somewhat begrudging) respect and trust. They were friends, which is so rewarding to see. There have been couples like that on TV before, but usually it's all a lot of 'will they, wont they- which can be fun too if done right, like seasons 1 and 2 did -but it's refreshing to see it played in such a different way. Jake just straight up told her and didn't expect anything to come from it. He didn't pressure her to like him back and he didn't even hate on Teddy (until he got all weird and creepy in later seasons, and even then he was polite) while he was dating her. He respects her and treats her well and I will forever remember the scene where he tells everyone why/how he decided to propose to her, it was perfect and truely sweet. Jake and Amy make each other better. He helped her to loosen up a little and compromise without getting rid of her take- charge, eager-to-please attitude or her independance, and in turn she made him into a (slightly) more mature person. Amy helped turn Jake into a (somewhat) functional adult, but she didn't force him to lose his fun, childish side either. They genuinely care for each other in a way that you dont often get to see on TV between Het Couples. Like the episode where Amy takes the Sargent's exam and Jake says he always knew Amy would be his boss one day? HE RESPECTS HER SO MUCH. Almost any other sitcom would have Jake's arc for that episode be about him feeling insecure at the thought of his future wife being his boss, but B99 didn't and I love them for it. Their love is so sweet and believable. I even teared up a little during the wedding scene because I'm an absolute sap like that. I also really, really like the chemistry between Rosa and her potential new girlfriend Alicia (as played by the also amazingly beautiful and talented Gina Rodriguez.) They had immediate chemistry- which I'm huge on -and Alicia seems like a genuinely cool and sweet woman. Anyone who can make Rosa lose her composure in front of people she cares about has gotta be something special. I'm hoping in the next season NBC will let them bring Gina Rodriguez back and she and Rosa will become TV's gayest and most dynamic power couple. That would be pretty sweet. Sorry that this has turned into Rosa and Jake fest. But if it helps, Holt and Kevin are definitely couple goals too and I'm glad Kevin'sgetting so much more screen time. I agree with Jake: I also want them to be my two gay dads. Not that I dont love my dad, I'm just welcoming in the extra role models, lol. Lord k ow I probably need it.NoTP:I love that the show steered away from it, because I wasn't really much a fan of the Boyle/Diaz Dynamic of season 1. But, I do honestly love them as bros together. It's another trope the show subverts since Charles is the one who's super in touch with his emotions and helps out Rosa in her relationships when she has trouble expressing hers. I just... I really love relation/friendships built on trust and respect. It's my jam.Favorite Other Pairings:I know she's not your fave but I do like Gina and Rosa together, they have a fun, snarky vibe together and Gina does genuinely care for Rosa and respect her opinions, way more than she does with most other people. Except maybe Holt. Also Amy and Rosa. I love episodes where the two of them team up together. Basically, what I'm saying here is that I just want Rosa to date ALL the girls on the show, haha.Least Favorite Character:I hate to say it, but I want a huge fan of Pimento? Like, he was dangerous and rude and I know he went through a lot of trauma undercover, but dude needed some help, and I mean just that, really. He needs to be in therapy for his PTSD because it's affecting his relationships and his whole life.I'm not too big a fan of Hitchcock either, just because like... Okay, so, Scully is dumb and occasionally rude, but at least he tries to be nice most of the time and even tries to contribute; Hitchcock is... kind of a jerk most of the time? I know that's the point, but still... like, fix yourself my dude.Also, I do really love to hate The Vulture. He's insufferable, but his dynamic with the team and their hate for him is so much fun to watch. Of course when I say least favorite, I still like these characters, it's just that if I had to pick, it would be these three.Favorite Season/Episode:I actually really like this past season a lot. Like, so much happened! ROSA CAME OUT! JAKE AND AMY GOT MARRIED! HOLT AND KEVIN GOT QUALITY SCREEN TIME AS A COUPLE! It was pretty amazing.I love the episode where Rosa came out to her parents. It was so sweet ♡ and I think it's really important that it ended in such a medium place. Like, that happens to people sometimes other TV shows, sometimes parents dont either accept you wholeheartedly or kick you out and denounce you. Sometimes, you just get stuck in a crappy in between place (note: not deflection btw, my parents are cool with my identity, but I has happened to people I know and it sucks watching them try and get through it without sacrificing the relationship between them and their parent[s]). And we never get to see that because TV likes to focus on the extremes. And Rosa found out that you can find your own family if you need too. Which, as you know, I am always up for in my media. Found family tropes for everyone!Who Would I Date:I mean... look how many times the words Jake and Rosa have come up in this post. In your heart of hearts you know the answer to this question.Rosa (whom I have to separate from her actress because I love them both, and for different reasons) would be a little hard to date for me, just because she's so closed off and sometimes ya girl needs some validation of affection. But she's so...so cool. She does the right thing, even if she'd rather hit the problem in the face with an axe, and I know she's a police officer but it still counts, damnit. She has all these layers to her, like the dancing and the gymnastics and stuff. She doesn't reject traditional femininity, it just doesn't appeal to her. Also I bet she'd make anyone feel hella safe. She's... honestly the best word I can come up with right now is dreamy. Rosa Diaz is a Dreamboat with a capital D, and I'm sorry, but if you dont think so you're wrong.Jake is kind of the polar opposite. The only thing I would see becoming a hypothetical issue in the hypothetical relationship is that I can also be immature and messy and garbage at being an adult. We'd be too similar and it wouldn't help anyone, unlike with Jake and Amy. But he's so sweet and caring and funny. He's a genuinely great guy who respects everyone who deserves it, and sometimes even people who don't. Plus he's definitely a good cuddler and I like being the big spoon, so that would work out well for us.----------------------As for The Good Place:(WARNING! Spoilers for The Good Place are below, so if you're asking me but haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend skipping this until you do watch it, because I don't want to spoil anything for you. It's that good.Favorite Main Character:How, actually, do you choose on this? How?!? I love them all so much, truly. Chidi is a nervous smol (though also very tol) beanpole. Eleanor is always a Mood™ and she shows so much growth over the course of just 2 seasons (same with Michael, but that'smore over the course of 1 season. I'llgive him a pass though because it was entertaining as hell when he finally realized the concept of mortality). Jason became so much more lovable and sweet in season 2. Janet is my favorite omniscient NonBinary robot ever. And Tahani is, to quote Eleanor directly, "A sexy, tan rapunzel. The dream." Plus, she really knows how to go all out with something, which is fun. I loved how into her role as Rhonda Mumps she got. Plus, watching her tell off her parents was so good.I think I'm gonna have to go with Either Chidi Eleanor or Janet. That's as much as I can narrow it down though, because I am weak.Favorite Female Character: Well, since Janet is not a girl, but instead- as mentioned above -an omniscient NonBinary robot person, I'll go with Eleanor. I think I just really relate to her character. Which means I should probably shape up my life, lol. But it's so nice to see a smart, funny, unladylike and kinda sleazy character, who ultimately has that heart of gold and a desire for self-improvement played like this by a woman as a main character. She's like the likeable, morally gray sidekick in so many romcoms, but she gets to be the focus for once. I dig it. Also, I tend to flock towards bi-coded characters. Have you seen Eleanor's collection of flannels (Janet could literally get her anything to wear, but mah girl craves that bi aesthetic)? Any of her interactions with Tahani? That girl is bi af, if not pan. OTP:Oh, for sure it's Teleanor (Elhani?). Like, the chemistry between Jameela Jamil and Kristen Bell is so thick. They're so good together! And I swear if I dont get a flashback to attempt #218 at some point I will cry. 2nd OTP is Chidi/Eleanor because a) they're super cute together, B) they make each other better, and C) LOOK MA, ITS AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE AS THE MAIN FOCUS OF A SITCOM WHERE THE POC IS A DUDE! I've heard tell of it in legends but never seen it before in real life! I joke, but seriously, it is neat to see.Runner up: J² (aka Janet & Jason). What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute, oddball couples who shouldn't work but ultimately do.NoTP:I wasn't very keen on Tahani/Jason. Like, it was a fun distraction, and it did lead to the scene where Tahani tells her parents she ate a cheeto, and it also gave us some much needed Janet screen time/character arc stuff, but they just didn't work for me as a couple. I think, though, that that was kind of the point? Like, they needed to make that mutual mistake together so they could get to where they needed to be. Jason grew up a bit and learned to problem solve and Tahani gained confidence and the personal growth she needed to tell off her douchey parents.Favorite Other Pairings: Is it weird to say Shawn/Michael? I feel like it is, but I would still read it. Also maybe Janet/Eleanor. That could be fun.Least Favorite Character:This is slightly less tough than the questions above, but if it came down to it and I had to pick, I'd probably say it's pretty much just amounts to a few of the characters that the show designed for me to hate.Figuratively, everyone in Tahani's family is a garbage human being. And not in like, the fun, likeable way that say Eleanor or Jason were 'garbage people,' but in the awful, 'I would gladly punch you in the face' kind of way instead. Same goes for Eleanor's parents and her roommates (Though the one who remained her friend after she switched up everything in the season finale was okish in S2, what little I saw of her). It's super weird, but I actually do like the demons for the most part. Shawn is amazing to watch, which I, in large part, chalk up to Marc Evan Jackson's performance. And I even liked Vicky and Trevor, in that same, The Vulture from B99 sort of way. So literal demons are more likeable than the characters mentioned above, which should tell you something.Favorite Season/Episode:Season 1 was amazing and that first Cliffhanger twist was wild and awesome and I didn't figure it out until about 30 seconds before Eleanor did because it was so good, but it wasn't just a twist for the sake of it either, like, the season was built around it and makes sense with it, which is really cool to see in a sitcom. HOWEVER, all things being equal and with that said, Season 2 was EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW?!?! they ditched the formula and changed it all up! It's a sitcom! They never do that! And they only spent like what, 1 to 2ish episodes replaying the new attempts? And they focused on some of the Bad Place characters too while they were doing it, so it didn't get boring. That could have so easily happened too, if it hadn't been handled as well as it was by the writers. But it was handled well and they kept changing things up and giving us more info on the characters lives and their deaths and all that good juicy character development stuff I love so much and it was so, so worth watching.Episode wise, season two had my favorite episodes too, starting with the big neighborhood-ending party and all the way up to the finale (the episodes before then were also great, obviously, but that run towards the end had me captivated so thoroughly I almost called in sick to work to finish them, haha.)The stuff where they infiltrate The Bad Place was golden. If I had, had, had to pick a single episode... yeah, nope, I'm still not able to because it comes up a tie between the one where they leave the neighborhood behind or the finale. There was so much good character stuff, and lots of little found family type moments and Mindy even got a little bit of a reward at the end! (Side note: something deep inside of me loves Mindy St. Claire so much and wishes I could have more of her confidence and fuck it attitude). The demons were hilarious and Judge Gen was a delight to watch! This show is just so good, it makes me want to cry a little. Just a bit. I'm so excited for season 3!! Less than a month left yeah! ♡Who Would I Date:It would probably come down to either Janet, or Eleanor. Tahani has potential, but she's too...aristocratic to actually date for me, I think. Chidi would be an amazing partner, but I feel like we're both such anxious people that it would quickly become an unmanageable tornado of stress and bad decision making, lol.Janet would be cool because she's weird and fun and chipper and so sweet, plus she has all the knowledge in the universe which is neat. I do love a smart cookie. And with Janet since I'm more demi/ace-ish and since she doesn't have sex parts, that would take a weight off my mind I think. So check off 'would date a self-aware, omniscient robot' on my list of weird character traits.Eleanor would also be a good candidate too because she's relatively down to earth and laid back, as well as being fun and relatable and just... kind of a cool chick. Plus, I know deep down she actually does care about things and is a decent human being, which is sort of a must in a partner, lol. The only drawback is that we might make each other worse because we'd probably let each other get away with a lot, so it might be somewhat counterproductive to the point of the show, haha. ----------------------Thank you so much for asking these! And for letting me rant and rave over my two favorite sitcoms in what has, apparently, turned out to be a fucking essay on 'Things I love about Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place'. Sorry I got so verbose about it. I'm also sorry that I, as a person, always fail so completely at making choices and narrowing things down, lol. But this was fun! Hopefully you've seen TGP, I'd absolutely hate, hate, hate to spoil such an excellent and surprising show for someone. Assuming you have, I'm gonna run over and ask you about this one too. In fact consider this an open invitation: if you need someone to talk to about B99 or TGP, consider me your gal!

[lilylovessev]

severusloveslily​:

- - -

Severus clinked his glass with hers and nodded. Hmm. He owed Minerva an apology then. They were friends. That was odd to think about. 

“I agree. I’d much rather work on academia than go through the headache that are perpetual first dates because nobody can hold a decent conversation. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit what your favourite colour is,” he muttered. He looked at her as she began laughing, and he couldn’t help but crack a smile as well. He hadn’t intended that as a joke, but if the wand fit…

He walked out of the restaurant with her and stood close to her. It was bloody cold. “When would you—” he started, then stopped as she cut him off. A smirk spread across his lips. An almost-smile. “Okay. Same time tomorrow. See you then,” he said. They parted ways, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit excited about the morning to come. 

- - -

That was, until they were shouting at each other and Severus was on the verge of throwing a fucking potted plant at her. Why was she so insufferable? 

“In case you have forgotten or all that fucking hair has constricted your brain, I have been a world-class Potions Master for decades longer than you’ve even been alive, girl. I think I know what I’m talking about,” he snapped as he sidestepped her throwing some papers at him. “You have gone mad. It’s not my fault you made the most idiotic suggestion I’ve ever heard. I was merely informing you that you sound like a fucking moron,” he said angrily. Of course, she hadn’t taken well to that, but in the moment, it was true. 

“I can throw shit too, Hermione, I don’t care if you’re a woman,” he snapped as he grabbed some of the papers and threw them at her. He swiped things off the desk and threw his hands up. “See? I can make a fucking mess just like you can. Only you don’t have to clean it up. You get to go home to your annoying fucking spawns of Satan and deal with them. Joyous is your life,” he said angrily as he turned away from her. 

He hated all the fighting. He hated that she just wouldn’t back down. What happened to the old Hermione Granger? What happened to the girl that just laid down and let people steamroll over her? Obviously the war had changed her in more ways than one. He knew shouting probably wasn’t the best way to handle things, but he couldn’t help it. She wound him up in a way unlike anyone else did. 

He escaped out to the garden and was taking a rather large drag on a cigarette when she came and found him. He shook his head when she apologised. “I have no intention of telling you I’m sorry, so save it. Let’s just put it behind us,” he said. He didn’t look over at her, but could feel her presence lingering. “What do you want for dinner?” he muttered lamely. 

- - - 

Hermione sighed, folding her arms defensively, sincerely glad that he wasn’t currently looking at her or else he’d definitely see her annoyance. She had been trying her best to retain a neutral expression throughout that encounter, which she was fairly certain had only ever riled him up further. “Honestly, I’d rather not stay here and eat if you’re going to be quite so petulant about everything,” she responded, “You know fine well that I’m right.” She couldn’t help but twist the knife just a little. This man had suffered through far more than being wound up by a younger woman over the smallest part of their research project that he just so happened not to agree with her about. 

“But, if you’re going to act decently, I’ll stay for some food.” She wasn’t particularly bothered by him and his attitude. It did phase her once upon a time, but now? Not quite so much. 

She couldn’t help but smirk as he huffed and puffed, before walking back into the house, not offering her a drag. She stayed outside for a short moment, inhaling and then exhaling a calming breath before following him back in. He was hard work, but she was willing to put up with it, because she knew that there was something more there. She knew that he was worth her time, that he needed her right then, just as much as she felt that she needed him. It was odd to admit, but true. As everything else in her life was going to shit, he was consistent, if not a little explosive.

//

“Snape?”

“Yes.”

Harry eyed her, raising his pint of beer to his lips, “Ron isn’t best pleased about it, is he?”

“What do you think? Why are you asking me, Harry? I’m fairly certain that you know everything already.” It would be difficult not to be a little grouchy when it came to discussing all of this with him, knowing that Ron would most definitely have been bitching about her. That was exactly what it was; bitching. It was pathetic, the lowest form of utterly pathetic behaviour. 

“We’re working together on some research. On his behalf, a tad reluctantly, he has plenty of his own research going on. I think that we’re doing a bloody good job of it. I think that our joint work is better than his initial proposals, not that he’d confess to that. He was giving me his time somewhat reluctantly to begin with, but I feel as if he’s rather liking it more now, as if he actually wants to be doing this with me.” 

She would tell Harry the truth, there was no hiding anything from him, not that there was actually anything to hide. “We all know that he’s a good man. We know that he has atoned for his sins. I don’t see anything wrong with working with him, and I am going to continue to do so, regardless of what anyone thinks. You best believe that he’s actually being a friend to me right now.” She looked up at Harry, narrowing her eyes slightly, glad to see a little shame in return. “I know that this is a difficult situation, but I have never felt quite so alone. I shouldn’t feel that way and you know it.” 

“It’ll blow over, eventually. You know that we’re all here for you, just as much as we are for him. It’s just a little awkward with the family situation is all. It will get better in time,” Harry responded, clearly trying to appease matters. It wasn’t anything that she hadn’t heard before though, on numerous occasions. It was all that she could do to just smile and nod and act as if he was right, when she knew that nothing was ever going to be quite the same again, no matter how hard they tried.

[mintcrash]

ok so I haven’t written anything in many mnay years, but procrastination and too Many Comics can do strange things.

Just some drabble which forms some coherent one-shot I guess.

Damian never liked Tim,but after this, he will never forgive him.

Basically Tim has to monior Damian in some ‘mandatory dress training’. Damian is cute and angry, Tim is a good brother, and Dick is less so.

~1800 words, literally don’t know what I’m doing, mindless fluff and poofy dresses.

—

Damian doesn’t know what to do. Damian Al Ghul: Robin, son of Batman, heir to the League of Assassins is absolutely stunned. He’s faced assassins, demons, beasts of unfathomable proportions. He has come so far in his few short years that immortals would be seething with jealousy. He came back from the dead, and he doesn’t know what to do. Trained by the world’s greatest, and here he stands, Tim Drake having frozen him in his tracks.

“You want…I’m sorry Drake, but what?”

“You heard me.”

“Drake, of all thi- this is ridiculous-“

“Yeah, well it’s a compulsory part of the training, and now you’ll fit into it, so get over here and put this on right now or I’m calling Dick.”

“-Tt-,” he scowled as he eyed Tim, glancing between his brother’s innocent, amused expression and the object of questionable origins in his arms, “You would enjoy this, you-“

Tim’s hands went up defensively, a film of glitter gracing his forearms. “Nuh-uh you stop looking at me like that right now demon child. This was definitely not my idea and I just want to get back to my case so if you wouldn’t mind-”

Damian snatched the pile of hoops and fabric from him. Honestly. What kind of family is this. “Well then, whose idea was it?” He struggled to turn the pale pink mess over in his arms, barely catching glimpses of the layers of tulle sticking out from what was presumably the bottom.

“Nobodys! I swear, this is actually a part of training,” Tim grimaced, ignoring the laugh building in response to Damian’s disgusted face, “Bruce makes all of us do it, but seeing as he’s overseas, Dick’s busy, and Jason’s who-knows-where, I’m in charge of…this.”

Damian wasn’t convinced. He could see Tim’s mouth twitching in that insufferable face he made whenever he had something to do with something unpleasant. He’s lying. It had to be some kind of sick Tim Drake joke. After all this time, he should be forced to wear, well, this. Despicable.

“For what possible reason – “

“Hey - don’t get me started runt.” Tim sauntered past the table, grabbing his coffee before planting himself in the nearest armchair with great satisfaction, falling into what looked like the least comfortable position any human being could manage. “I had to learn how to walk in it. Dick had to learn how to dance in it.  And – holy cow- Jason­ knows how to seduce anyone in it, so I’m sure that you, with your mighty mind can master all of that and more. Hey, I have to say though, it is easier than sitting in a pencil skirt, but doesn’t make your butt look nearly as good.”

Damian stared as Tim serenely sipped his coffee. He’d been through heels, and the cursed pencil skirts, but this? He stared at the pile in his arms with distain.

“Why does it have to be pink.”

“Hm? What was that?”

“I hate you Drake.”

  ----

  Two hours, a torn underskirt, a snapped hoop, a broken zip and four fake bras later, Damian Wayne finally came into the lounge so that Tim could assess him.

“Finally, took you - woah”

Damian’s cheeks flushed. He was used to being critiqued and hunted by his insufferable brother, not flattered.

“Well? Stop staring you trout, do I pass?”

His mouth just hung open. What used to be his little demon brother actually looked, well, really good. His hair had been ruffled from wrestling with the dress, which somehow made him look even better. The dress managed to frame his lithe, false-breasted body exceptionally. Alfred was probably the only reason it was still in one piece, and the old, pristine fabric of the training gown caught the fading light perfectly. A river of fuchsia sequins rippled like a tail down the centre, framed by black velvet stripes. A black collar complemented dark sleeves, flowing from a high-waisted pale pink centrepiece, ending in a thick black ribbon. From this stemmed a pink hoop gown, the rich satin glistening in the fading light from the half-open curtains.

Dang, his brother looked better than he ever did in that thing.

Snapped out of his musings by a sharp -tt-, Tim hastily responded, “It, uh- the colour…really, brings out your eyes, I guess.”

“Really Drake? Am I that good that I don’t require any real critique?” Damian swished, hands falling in a naturally petite manner to his hips.

Tim had to hold back a snort. “Well, if you really want to know, you’re as ugly as ever, and need a wig. Your hair is shocking. And your shoulders – I can tell you’re a little self- “

“I am n – “

“Don’t interrupt me, princess. As I was saying, you’re self-conscious. You’ve got to hold your shoulders back, puff out your chest a little - no not like – agh wait, lemme, more like this, see?” Tim stood as close as he felt was a safe distance to the dinosaur in a dress, but pulled himself into a ballerina stance. “It’s like someone’s drawn a string up your spine, yeah that’s a little better, but don’t be so tense, relax your shoulders a little. Yes. Much better.”

Tim continued to give instruction and Damian let himself relax a little. The dress wasn’t all uncomfortable. Besides, there was no denying Drake thought he looked good. At least a little.

After learning to walk, especially up and down stairs holding the length of puffy fabric, Tim called for Alfred to bring in the shoes. Combining them with the dress proved to be…difficult, but he only stepped on the hem twice, and that was because he was trying to stand up and the dress just got everywhere once you sat down.

Dancing was a lot harder.

“You know-“

“Yes, of course I know the waltz, you dimwit. And I am not dancing with you, no matter how much ‘practice’ anybody insists I need.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Tim sat back into his observing station, nursing his third coffee of the day, taking note of his brother’s movements.

“You’re doing the girl’s part, remember.”

“Shut up”

“…Keep your back straight, you’re losing-“

“Mm”

“…Relax those shoulders princess.”

“-tt-“

  ----

  Asides from the occasional misstep in the heels, which left a few new holes in the first layer of the skirt, and his tense shoulders, Tim thought Damian was more of a natural in the dress than any of them had been, except maybe Dick.

“Are we done now?”

Turning his head from a fresh brew, he sighted the pile of fabric sprawled on the furthest armchair. The second pair of heels had been kicked off and a light sheen of glitter rested with them on the floor nearby.

“Sadly, no.”

“What?!” The pile twisted as Damian almost fell on the floor, “You said one more dance-“

“Until I’m done, you still have something else to do.”

Damian’s face could probably boil water, but Tim wasn’t finished. “After this, you can remove the beautiful dress and reclaim your natural demon state. Besides, a normal gala usually goes for at least another twenty minutes. Put on that one pair of heels which you actually liked, and I’ll give my final assessment.”

Damian tutted, pulling on his shoes and staring daggers at his brother before finally straightening up and twirling one more time.

“Fine. Just…hurry up.”

Then Dick walked in.

He froze. Damian stiffened. Tim grinned.

“You…little…”

“DAMI!”

Dick spread his arms wide, soggy hair from his after-work shower flicking drips behind him as he bounded up to his little brother. Damian braced himself for whatever was coming.

“Damian it…you…it’s perfect! You look amazing!” He turned to Tim, “How’d you-“

“With a lot of patience.”

Both smiled like maniacs as Damian suffered their compliments.

“Oh Darlene, your dress is stunning tonight.”

“Oh Diana I love your shoes!”

“Dmitri, that colour really brings out your flawless skin.”

“And your eyes!”

“Did he get the posture right?”

“Most of the time”

“Dami, relax your shoulders-“

“So.  I’ve.  Been. Told.”

“Oh you have to give me a walk. Come on, just one? I promise I will never talk of this –“

“Shut up. I will, only because I want this torment to end sooner.”

So, Damian did. He glided flawlessly up the room, twirled liked only the finest of socialites, then turned to see – Grayson’s Phone. Abandoning any hints of walking, Damian pulled up the dress, revealing a half-on shoe. With a quick and expert flick of his ankle, it flew off and landed violently on the camera. Tim snorted, sharing a quick smile with the youngest. Dick just looked hurt.

“Aww, come on Dami! It’s compulsory for everyone to have documented photos of all important training events. Besides, Bruce needs photographic evidence of this occasion.”

“Shut up, Grayson. I swear if you show those to anyone I will slice your hand off.”

“Well, I think that about covers everything now.” Tim interrupted before Damian actually attacked anyone. He stood, and with the straightest face and most serious voice he could muster, said, “You have my permission, as your supervisor for this training session, to get out of the dress, until such time comes that it is needed for mission purposes. Also, I’ll have to write all this down, but you really need to work on relaxing your shoulders.”

Damian’s sour expression turned to Tim, “Drake, if you mention this to anyone, I will have a good reason to cut off your coffee supply for a week.” He turned with great flair, radiating an attitude fitting for his outfit, and stormed into the next room.

“Oh, and Damian?” Dick called before he slammed the door behind him, “Just remember, with the whole relaxing your shoulders thing, think of it like swordplay – you only tense before you strike. And if you do ever have to wear one of those, at least you’ll be prepared. Plus, Bruce had to have this training too, so-“

“Wait, what?!? Father had to- “

“Ohohoho yes he did.” Dick’s phone was back up as he searched for the ‘compulsory photographic documentation’.

Damian stalked over as fast as he could, hoisting the dress.  Tim rolled off the couch too. He was not going to miss this.

“He thought he should try it out when he made me do it. Justified it as ‘needing practice’ and ‘learning from a woman’s perspective’, but I don’t think anybody his size needs to put themselves through something they obviously can’t pull off. Now where’s…ahah!”

The room fell silent. The air was concrete as Dick held in the fiery laugh building in his chest.

“Is that-“

“Yes.”

“Gets me every time.”

“In pink-“

“Oooohhh yeah.”

“You know it.”

Damian was disgraced. Tim was choking back his laughter. Dick was…well, Grayson was beaming in the background of the photo, wearing the same dress Damian had on now. It…complemented his Father’s.

“Oh he really cannot pull that off.” Tim commented.

“I KNOW, right?! He kept telling me it was for experience but honestly I think he was just enjoying himself.”

Damian snuffed, “-tt-, he needs to relax his shoulders.”

Tim and Dick shared stunned glances before Dick mumbled, “Guess it runs in the family.”

[cunzy4]

Wake Up and Smell the Kool-Aid Chapter 1: The Cultist’s Revenge

Daniel's out for revenge, and he's set his sights on a naive, gullible, innocent ball of sunshine named David.

Max will not stand for this. Nobody is allowed to traumatize David but Max.

David narrowly survives being sacrificed to Daniel's gods, but his optimism does not. After his unfailingly positive attitude has been destroyed, it's up to Max and Gwen to pick up the pieces.

AO3 link: 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11787621/chapters/26582388

David woke up with a sharp gasp.

The first sensation he was aware of was a blinding pain in the back of his head. With a pained groan that came out as more of a whimper, he tried to roll over in his bed to ask Gwen if she could watch the kids so he could take the morning off.

But he couldn’t roll over because he wasn’t in his bed.

In fact, he wasn’t anywhere he recognized at all.

Through the tear-blurred haze of pain, David realized he was alone in a pitch-black room. The chill seeped through his knees from the bare concrete floor. His hands were tied painfully behind his back- wait, where had his shirt gone?- around some sort of post embedded in the floor.

The utter confusion wore off and the fear began to sink in as David realized that he was not, in fact, dreaming. Somehow, he had been kidnapped out of the camp right in front of the kids-the kids!

David jolted with a spasm of pain as a wave of terror on behalf of his campers overwhelmed him. If he was in trouble, were his kids safe? Had someone kidnapped them too? Even if they had somehow escaped the danger, would Gwen be able to take care of them by herself? Camp Campbell needed David. Mr. Campbell was depending on him to be in charge. He could not let his kids down now.

He twisted his wrists experimentally, but his lifetime as a woodsman was no match for the mass of knots that pinned his arms behind the wooden pole. The only result of his struggles was that the ropes had begun to chafe at the skin of his wrists.

Around that time, it occurred to David to scream for help. The concrete walls of the basement seemed to swallow his voice as he screamed himself hoarse until he fell silent, gasping and coughing. His head drooped forward as he struggled to regain his breath. The action pulled painfully at his already raw wrists. His sore head throbbed with renewed pain.

Okay, David, he said to himself silently. This… isn’t the best situation, but you have to stay positive. You ALWAYS stay positive no matter what, remember? All you have to do is hold on, and I’m sure someone will come for you soon.

With that, he tried to wriggle into a slightly less uncomfortable position. His knees were starting to hurt from the concrete floor, but he ignored it and began whistling a camp song.

Six hours later, more or less, David’s stomach was starting to growl. His mouth was too dry to whistle any more, and his knees were really starting to hurt from being stuck in the same position for so long.

Stay positive, he commanded himself even as his fingers slowly grew numb. Just stay positive.

After another hour or two, he lapsed into a fitful sleep. Every time he jerked awake with a pained groan, he tried to force himself to focus on the bright side. It’s not safe for a person with a concussion to sleep for too long at a time, he rationalized. It’s a good thing that I keep waking up like this.

As the hours continued to drag on, David found it harder to find happy things to think about. Closing his eyes to block out the bleak reality, he pictured himself in a happier place. Hiking along the lake, with happy campers following along. Birds are singing, and so are we. Even Max is smiling.

Max…

David’s throat constricted as he thought of his least happy camper. I hope he’s doing alright without me… I hope he isn’t getting himself into too much trouble…

The thought briefly occurred to him that his predicament could be the result of a mean-spirited prank from Max, but he dismissed it firmly. Max may have been an irascible scamp, but there was no way he would go this far for the likes of a prank. No, Max was certainly not responsible.

But then… who was?

The silent, empty basement offered no answers.

It had been, as far as David could tell, two days.

His empty stomach twisted painfully. He was lightheaded from thirst, and his wrists and knees were scraped raw and dripping blood.

Still, still, he forced himself to stay positive. Getting depressed now would only make everything worse, and David had no intention of giving up so quickly. Come what may, he was determined to face everything with an upbeat attitude. Even if it meant starving to death alone in a pitch-black basement.

Out of nowhere, the room was abruptly flooded with light as the door opened. David flinched back, blinded by the first light he’d seen in days, until the door at the top of the staircase closed again and a set of footsteps approached him.

“H-hello?” David’s voice cracked pathetically. “Who’s there?”

“Aww, David,” a disappointed voice echoed from the blackness. “And here I thought you’d recognize your old pal.”

At that, a flashlight switched on to illuminate an all-too-familiar grinning face.

“D-daniel?” David choked. “What are you doing here?”

Daniel wasn't the same clean-cut, cheerful man David remembered from camp. His blond hair was a wild tangle, his white outfit torn and stained with... was that blood? Most unsettling was the maniacal expression on Daniel's face. He giggled hysterically, the flashlight bouncing with the movement. “Really? Really? What do you think I’m doing here? Delivering your newspaper?”

David couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could the eager counselor he remembered have turned into such a... ruffian? “A-are you saying… you’re the one who k-kidnapped me?”

Daniel was still laughing. “Aww, David, I thought you’d be smarter than this. Did you seriously still think I was a nice guy? Even after I tried to kill everyone in your camp?”

“You what?” David stammered. “But- you were just-”

Daniel laughed so loudly that he dropped the flashlight, the entire basement half-lit in the diffuse glow as it rolled into the corner of the basement. “Ha- haha- oh, David, can one person really be so naive? You- you honestly thought- all that time, you never caught on, even after-”

He doubled over in another fit of laughter, too overcome with mirth to speak. Just as suddenly, he stopped laughing.

“That insufferable brat was the only one who saw right through me,” Daniel spat. “Because you were so gullible, so utterly trusting, that you were blinder than a ten-year-old kid, I nearly killed the whole bunch of them.”

“No-” David whimpered, unable to stop the tears that now flowed freely down his face. “I- I didn’t-”

He choked off as Daniel leaned uncomfortably close, their faces practically touching. David could feel Daniel’s shaky breaths as he giggled again.

“But since I couldn’t sacrifice your dear campers after all, David,” Daniel hissed so, so quietly, “I guess you’ll have to take their place!”

He screamed the last words as David cringed away, but Daniel roughly grabbed David’s hair and forced his head up as he held a twisted knife to David’s neck. The tip of the knife slid across David’s throat down to his chest, drifting almost playfully over his collarbones.

“D-daniel, please,” David begged, shuddering with fear. “Th-this isn’t funny, can’t we t-talk about this-”

He flinched as Daniel leaned in closer, reaching behind him with the knife to cleanly slice the strand of rope that kept his wrists tied to each other. David slumped forward, unable to catch himself, only to land in Daniel’s arms.

“Are you ready?” Daniel giggled softly, his lips against David’s ear as he tried unsuccessfully to squirm away. “You’re the perfect sacrifice- so pure, so innocent- I’m not even disappointed I didn’t get to kill your kids.”

David choked as Daniel’s free hand grabbed him by the throat. Daniel rose to his feet, dragging David with him, and threw him to the ground again.

David landed painfully face-first on the basement floor, unable to catch himself with arms that felt like limp noodles. As he struggled to pick himself up, he felt Daniel pacing a slow circle around him.

“Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t kill them anyway once we’re done here!” Daniel cackled.

It wasn’t until Daniel kicked him onto his back that David realized Daniel had lit a circle of candles around the two of them. Too quickly, the room began to fill with an odd hazy smoke that choked David’s lungs with a suffocating heaviness.

“N-no-” he gasped before he was overwhelmed by weak, rattling coughs.

Daniel was still laughing as he straddled David, slashing the knife across his chest without fanfare. David let out a strangled scream, choking and crying as Daniel carved another line into his chest.

Daniel’s face looked truly demonic, illuminated by the flickering candlelight in the red smoke. He was grinning maniacally, chanting under his breath in Latin as he unhurriedly carved a pentagram into the weakly struggling David.

David’s vision was fading. He couldn’t breathe, or move, or think, and the choking smoke seemed to be weighing him down until he sank into the floor. Dimly, as though from far away, he felt his own blood draining out onto the concrete, he heard Daniel still chanting, but now everything was dark and heavy and he couldn’t recall who… or why… or…

Daniel’s face was nothing but a dim shape down a long tunnel when the door was broken down and the room was once again flooded with light.

“Hey, you idiots! He’s down here! I found him!” a different voice shouted distantly. “Get your asses over here!” The voice was familiar, but David couldn’t quite place who it belonged to.

David barely noticed several overlapping voices shouting angrily, or Daniel being thrown off of him, or being lifted somewhere and a mask being placed over his face. He felt weirdly floaty, and he couldn’t quite recall the importance of the flashing lights, or the hand that gripped his and the panicked voice that kept saying his name, or any of the other voices that were saying a lot of things.

The shouting was replaced with sirens and someone was poking at the wounds on his chest, which hurt, he really should say something but he didn’t quite remember which muscles to move in order to speak.

In any case, he felt as though a warm, fuzzy blanket was being wrapped tightly around his entire body and weighing him down. He tried again to say say something, but he was suddenly so tired and sleeping seemed like a really good idea right about now…

As Gwen rode with him in the ambulance, David drifted into a drugged slumber.

[archivesdiveronarpg]

Congratulations, LOLA! You’ve been accepted for the role of ROSALIND. I have waited for my small, fighty daughter for so long -- and now you have absolutely blessed Diverona with her. Lola, I am completely and utterly over the moon with this all; from the interview, to the future plots, to the para sample, and the headcanons that detail her facets and characteristics perfectly. Ramona is, perhaps, one of my absolute favorite characters with her tongue-in-cheek humor and her need to fight with every breath that she takes. Bless you for bringing Ramona to the dash! I can’t wait to see what trouble she stirs up and what trouble she is bound to get into! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

Out of Character

Alias | Nicola / Lola (’ello, it’s me, i’m weak af)

Age | 21

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | I go to university three times a week and am currently looking into getting a part time job plus my own rp project is soon to open but I always try to check in at least once a day unless I am not physically capable of it whatsoever — and, in all honesty, if I really vibe with a group, I become embarrassingly obsessed and will just be around during all my waking hours pretty much.

Timezone | GMT+1

Triggers | none, actually c:

Permission | Sure, I don’t mind!

Current/Past RP Accounts | oh god I have so many that I’ll just go with the most recent ones, this smol son of mine & this fierce daughter of mine whom I only got to play briefly but there’s a nice lengthy writing sample under the diary tab of her navigation!

In Character

Character | Rosalind — also known as Ramona Marlena Aguilar

What drew you to this character? | The first thing about her that caught my eye was her attitude — seizing the day, fighting back even when the odds aren’t in your favour, never caving in because the very act of living has so much left to offer you. I love that she hasn’t allowed her grief to define her but has clung to her rebellious mindset despite (or perhaps because of) the obstacles thrown in her path, even in times when she might have been better off becoming the submissive little girl she could never stomach being. To me, she feels like a free spirit but not the spacey, reckless kind without a care in the world. Instead, she perfectly combines this aspect of her personality with ambition, determination and endurance which could one day get her far should she stick to them.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | I would hope for Ramona to keep her spirits and carry on fighting her way through the tragedy of her life with her focus set solely on a positive outcome, never risking a glance back at the dilemmas of the past. In terms of plots, I hope she can have, in correspondence to my earlier elaborations, mostly — but not only —positive development. (I’ve honestly been dreading this part a little and procrastinating it until I ended up kind of researching past events and kindly getting fed some inside info on recent happenings so I’m really sorry if it’s a total mess but I had very honourable intentions??)

1. Increased ambition. With the sudden collaboration between Capulets and Spades, I can see Ramona’s will to fight being at an all-time high, her eagerness exemplary and dedication to the Montagues’ cause admirable, verging on (perhaps) ever so slightly obsessive. In times like this, she will be looking to prove herself both to herself and to her superiors in hopes of her efforts paying off and there being a higher rank within the organisation she now views as a substitute family but would like to have a little more say in in her future  — unsurprisingly, considering Rosalind famously happens to be Shakespeare’s female character with the most lines.

2. Increased concern. After the fiasco at The Dark Lady earlier in the month, Ramona can’t seem to shake a certain feeling of discomfort looming in the pit of her stomach when she isn’t sure about Valentina’s whereabouts, her friend’s life having as much value to her as her cousin’s at this point, both of them much more valuable than her own about which she rarely worries — after all, she has always pulled through so far. With the enemy growing stronger, I could see her concern for her closest friends growing larger, eventually spanning the grand majority of the mob. While the role of the mother hen may or may not suit her, she surely shouldn’t forget to keep looking out for herself for no one has any use for a dead protector.

3. Increased sense of self. Albeit lacking blood relation, Ramona has always viewed herself, first and foremost, as an Aguilar, and deemed the family as good as holy, their cause and intent always, without exception, matching her own, transforming her into merely a puzzle piece needed to complete the bigger picture. In interplay with her carpe diem mantra, I would love for her to put more thoughts into her individuality, which she does claim to value greatly but nevertheless pushes aside with ease in hopes of it being beneficial for the others. Perhaps she could come in touch with her roots or simply take a little time to ponder what she wants out of life for herself and not just the mob, to find a goal other than staying alive and to actually live every day to its fullest which I don’t think she has fully achieved quite yet for it is certainly a task much easier said than done.

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona? | A coy grin took a hold of her lips, orbs formerly described as doe eyes by her late father exhibiting a fiery glimmer, unmistakable proof of wildness untamed beneath the surface. Countless options shot through an alert mind at the speed of light, some of which turned the corners of plump lips further skywards; strange concepts of a past long behind her. Quiet places, the right location for a nobody to morph seamlessly into the crowd, often recommended to her when the city was still as foreign to her as she was a stranger to it. The Capital Library of Verona, the silent façade a cover for the organisation that should turn out to be her destiny, bearing the possibility of premature membership had she taken this well-intended advice. The elegantly educational confines of the Twelfth Night Museum, strictly honourable by day to make up for the debauchery unfolding in its upper realms night after night. The Castelvecchio Bridge she loved to cross consciously in the company of mindless pedestals, fur-clad paws of her tiny companion slowing their pace as they sensed the danger in the air she thrived on. Countless options, only one would be revealed. “Since I first heard of it, I was fascinated by the concept of a nightclub in a museum. In fact, I used to take it for a wild fabrication of someone trying to screw me over when I was first told about it.” Soft laughter scattering in varying directions with every shake of her head. “The initial bewitchment of the Tempest Lounge has faded, of course, but I still like going there just the same. It’s the kind of place where you can truly lose yourself for a bit and we all deserve a break from our woes and worries every once in a while.”

What does your typical day look like? | Briefly pursed lips, accentuating a tentative expression, soon opened again with delight, some of her daily rituals evidently close to her heart. “First of all, I wake up. Obviously. Before I do anything else, I take a few minutes to meditate; align myself with the universe or whatever you want to call it. Tell myself it’s going to be a day worth living, you know? Then I have a quick breakfast — I’m not really the type to lounge around for hours before I do anything productive — and make myself look just presentable enough to walk Persephone. After that, I usually pop in at our headquarters, or wherever else I’m supposed to meet with someone, to see what needs to be taken care of. I’m not very fond of always having a perfectly thought out plan when there isn’t any need for one so I just take it as it comes, hence once there’s nothing to do for me anymore I just try to make plans with Valentina or Castora or stroll around for a while or have a nice evening in with the dog.” A nonchalant shrug. “Whatever the day ends up having in store for me, I take it — unless it’s a shitty offer, of course.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

“I consider it a necessary evil,” Ramona noted matter-of-factly, features hardened to an extent they bordered on neutral unreadability. “There’s always going to be bloodshed in this world, especially in this city. Someone is always looking to screw someone else over, even if it’s just two cockroaches. There’s no such thing as peace and harmony in a place like this and conflict is inevitable, no matter what the motives. It’s either the Capulets or the Spades or the two of them combined or some other leech trying to creep up our leg and suck on as much of our blood as they can before they’re being squished. That’s just the way this wicked game called life is played. As long as you keep fighting,” she shrugged, “you’re doing it right. And none of us should ever cease to fight. They asked for it.”

In-Character Para Sample:

“For fuck’s sake, where the hell are they?!”

Aggravated stomps carried a petite frame through the living room straight to the bedroom, prompting a tiny ball of white and grey fur to hop onto the bed in agony, shelter found on top of the covers. It’s a rare occasion in which one can witness Ramona losing her temper to this extent over something of so little significance but when the time has come, she is set off by even the smallest inconvenience that stands between her and a good time. In this particular scenario, the pair of earrings she was set on wearing tonight was the insufferable offender, whereabouts currently unknown, no sign of life provided. Behind her laid a trail of doom, chaos lining the lingering shadow of her steps, a freshly cleaned up flat transformed into a war zone within ten minutes or less. Thus far untouched, the bedroom was soon to follow the example set by its neighbouring localities, the first step to uncleanliness being the rummaging through drawers of her vanity the woman would have loved to simply pull out, their contents to be carelessly scattered on the floor — but her chance was missed the moment her fingertips brushed against the silk surface of a small pouch stored at the back of the first drawer, leaving her frozen mid-motion. Slowly, with extraordinary care, the unexpected meaningful discovery was retrieved with trembling hands, widened pupils settling on the fabric as though they were focusing on a dreamlike vision, her grip on reality lost once and for all.

Dumbstruck, the brunette plopped down on the chair strategically placed behind her, nails dug deeply into a token of her past she had believed to have vanished, a keepsake nearly forgotten. Deep breaths. In and out. Inhale. Exhale. Lids fluttered as she concentrated on her breathing, her increased heart rate only slowing down reluctantly. What shocked her the most, more than stumbling upon this little memento, is the shock itself. Wasn’t she supposed to be over it, the girl who lived, the girl who left her past behind along with the pain it caused her? Then why did a tied up pouch clasp her throat so tightly she feared she might choke any second now? Because she knew all too well what treasures it bore, stored within its hidden confines in a haste without a second look or thought, to be dug up nevermore.

Yet nevermore had come upon her, not the most unlikely guest considering the languid measures she had taken to prevent it from returning to her doorstep; measures she had taken because deep inside, the notion locked within her heart’s chambers, she knew all too well that one day, she would want them back in her line of sight: items she could no longer refrain from revealing if she was ever to regain her peace of mind. A gentle tug on the woven string, the innocent prisoners practically breaking out without further ado, gathering atop the vanity’s stark white surface.

A pendant sans its chain, shaped like an owl, its wise eyes staring back at her uneasy expression caught her attention first, pointer tracing its outline. This one she was given by her father, his pupils clouded with paternal concern. “Now, you’re a wise girl, Ramona. As wise as an owl, aren’t you? So please,” he had implored her, “please do me a favour and act like it.” A statement that could have easily triggered offence and, alas, it did for a few fleeting moments long since lost in time, but the addressed could only still hold onto it fondly, the memory of the encounter blurrier than she had hoped it would be. These should be the last words directed at her to drip from the man’s lips, his passing inevitable and to set in merely two days later. Pursed lips gathered at the corner of her lips in a soft frown. At least she hadn’t completely let him down. Granted, her way vastly differed from his but, in her eyes, she has been wise. A wise girl making wise decisions, finding herself a new home and purpose in a world of exaggerated cruelty.

Next came a marble seemingly made of its name twin so delicately painted, once her brother’s most prized possession in days of infantile innocence far away from this city’s shameful alleys he had given to her with a heavy heart full of love, the final seal of approval ending a rite of initiation as his sister. Oh, how she craved to regain the lightness of being they both possessed then, irrevocably lost the instant their soles touched Italian ground. “Relax,” he had sneered down the line, the connection wavering along with his voice. “You’re taking things way too seriously. If you go on like this, you’ll end up just like dad.” Only that he would be the one to end up like their father, finding eternal rest beneath the soil within the same month, she had begun to fear while he hadn’t anticipated it in the slightest.

Last but not least, an almost cruelly ironic jest. A pair of hoop earrings, worn by her mother when she was nothing more than a toddler wrapped up in her arms, in such impeccable condition they looked unworn, as had all of the woman’s possessions. “You’ll be good, won’t you, baby?” She had crooned, exhaustion oozing from every widened pore of her poisoned body, a layer of cold sweat glistening on dull skin. “You’ll live a good life full of happiness. Don’t you ever let sadness pull on your heartstrings for too long.” Advice given to a girl so young she lacked the capacity to follow it immediately but she had remembered it, word for word, clung onto it in desperation and embraced it with a slight delay, just in time for it to become her saving grace.

The electronic ‘ping’ of her phone, urging to be taken out of her pocket, broke the eerie silence that had been threatening to swallow her whole, chasing away the tears she was forbidden from shedding, the faint hint of a smile taking ahold of her lips as she spied Castora’s name on the screen.

“Still coming?! Valentina says to tell you she’s freezing her ass off in an accusing tone.”

A soft sigh, a newly found warmth triggered by relief flooding her body within moments. Her fingers typed at the speed of light, features softening at long last. “Five minutes. I got held up.” For there was no chance in hell she would allow for this to be what had last been directed at her by either of the women who gave her a reason to willingly get up in the morning. Two of the three tokens were gently replaced where they belonged — the third was to adorn their heiress tonight, once more possing as the solution to a problem at hand.

“Never, mama.” A quiet whisper drowned out by the nightly breeze. “Not as long as I can fight it.”

Extras: I’ve made her a little mock blog right here c:

HEADCANONS

CLOSE TO THE HEART:

• There’s a certain silver necklace Ramona is not likely to be caught not wearing, an amethyst pendant the star of the show, one of the few heirlooms passed onto her by her late mother she managed to hold onto after the move to Verona. In fact, she wears it with such routine that she feels uneasy without it either being around her neck or at least in her bag.

• Her dog Persephone joined her minimalistic family set up about a year and a half ago, a malnourished stray running into her near Castelvecchio by sheer luck or twist of fate. Knowing all too well how helpless and hopeless the little furball, presumably a Maltese mixed with some breed or other, had to feel, Ramona didn’t have the heart to leave her behind. Her name is her new owner’s way to make final amends and peace with death, in this case the underworld, after her frequent encounters with it.

• Although she has long given up on Christianity, if anything considering herself Wiccan, she regularly visits her father’s and brother’s grave, never without a token of her affection in tow. Usually, she spends thoroughly silent moments there, her form of communication with the deceased mutely mental unless she is extraordinarily distressed — then the emotional rants may very well unfold.

INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR:

• Staying in shape has always been important to her, her first regular workout being daily yoga sessions which she originally gave a try in hopes of it helping her become the quiet, calm woman who will under no circumstances stand out from the crowd her father hoped for her to transform herself into. While it failed to magically change her personality, it has helped her calm herself down and leaves her feeling centred and grounded, hence she still pursues it whenever she can. Once she realised that yoga didn’t have all desired effects on her, however, Ramona attempted kickboxing, hoping to achieve her goal with a rather clashing approach, which she immediately found herself enjoying. She has dabbled in various martial arts disciplines since but always finds herself in boxing gloves again sooner or later.

• It didn’t take long for Ramona to figure out that she was pansexual — in fact, she never had a true moment of realisation in that regard but accepted every form of attraction she has ever felt as factual and pleasant, meant to be if you will. Due to her lack of care for the concept of sexuality in itself, she never defines herself in any way, accidentally leaving even her friends in the dark about it only because she doesn’t consider it worth mentioning.

• If asked, Ramona would describe her clothing style as ‘functional 21st century Stevie Nicks’. Flowy, bohemian fabrics as light as Verona’s summer breeze are her wardrobe stable and what she is most likely to be seen wearing on a daily basis but she cleans up well and happily so, never underdressed for any occasion. Her hair she likes to keep in braids for the majority of the time but isn’t one to shy away from bolder moves, bleaching strands to douse in semi-permanent colourful dye or weaving in little accessories that best convey her current mood from time to time. In terms of makeup, she aims for a dewy, fresh-faced and rejuvenating look, her skin well moisturised and glowy, an artificial flush of life reviving her even after long nights and her eyes being the most accentuated feature, her mascara use heavy and her eyeliner look never being precisely the same the following day, if she uses it that day in the first place.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #190

“General Visitations, Giselles Punishment”

[Doc] Fixes hir hair self-conciously-

[Winston] Leaves once more-

[CP] - It will take him a few moments to gather them,  Doc, are you sure you want your dragon here?

[Doc] Looks at Yaunfen - I'm not sure I'd want them to be anywhere else either. If they're by me, I know they're safe.

[CP] - But they also might be seen as a target

[Gk] Wait! Before they get here. I like a good suprise- He shrinks down into his human form and rushes inside to stand casually at Cp's side.

[Doc] Only if they're stupid. They saw what I did to Giselle. And it shows I'm not the only dragon here either.

-Lie's guard slinks into the shadows, invisible unless one is really looking for them-

[CP] - Alright...  Have you let MB and TLOT know they might be fighting?

[Doc] Do you want Mb to run here with a sword in each hand? Because that will likely be his reaction.

[CP] - And TLOT?

[Doc] Gives Cp a serious look - do you really think he hasn't been listening? His powers have actually increased because of all the Testificates on the sub-seed.

[CP] - Don't remind me about them

[Doc] Aww, they're harmless. And they like you, so shush.

[CP] - Can I make them not like me?

[Doc] No.

[CP] - Fuck you

[Doc] Pats his arm- I know you're nervous. It's okay. I won't embarass you. Not intentionally at least.

[CP] - I'm suspicious of that claim

[Winston] Finally creates another portal and steps through, the other Nether generals following and shifting into more mob like forms-

[Giselle] - Oh Master, here you are!

[Grayson] A lumbering giant of a pigman snorts in irritation, cracking his knuckles- Hello sir...

[Gk] Is doing his best to look formidable, his eyes are very bright in comparision to the blobby black scars around them.

[Doc] Geetings, again.

[Blake] - Oh not you again

[Doc] What? It's my server. I'm one of the natives here.

[Yaunfen] Giving suspicious eyebrows to the group, xe scuttles up Doc's back and watches them from hir shoulder

[Magnolia] Shyly-  Hello Master, Mistress

{CP] - Magnolia, I'm surprised, you don't often travel far from your home

[Giselle] - I made her come, she is a Nether general after all

[Banette] Approaches Magnolia curiously- Baaaan?

[Magnolia] - AH!  She ducks behind Winston

[Doc] It's okay. It belongs to Cp.

[CP] - The four of you wished to see me?

[Giselle] - Oh Master, we're just worried!  You've been gone for so long!

[Grayson] - Perhaps your growing weak...

[Doc] That's rather presumtous of you Grayson. Insulting even.

[CP] - It's just how he thinks

[Doc] Then I'll inform you that it's a foolish thought. Cp has been the recipient of my greatest gift. I assure you he's nigh indestructable now.

[Grayson] - I doubt that

[CP] - I don't feel like fighting Grayson, but if you're determined to fight, you could fight a weaker brine here on this server

[Doc] Then you insult me as well. And you do so at your peril.

[Grayson] Snorts in annoyance-

[Yaunfen] Little hiss- Burp!

[Blake] - Master, why not come back to your server instead of this annoyingly peaceful one?

[CP] - Because I'm working on alliances Blake, alliances to help defeat NOTCH, since your units seem incapable of doing so

[Gk] quietly- Heh, burn.

[Doc] Our server is peaceful because it's filled with powerful entities that respect the space enough to not want to wreck it with useless fighting.

[Giselle] Ignoring the other brines- Master, I'm sure if we had more units and could train them against humans then we'd be better prepared to take on your horrible excuse for a father

[Doc] Then you don't realize how valuable an ally even a single human can be either.

[Lie] - You've seen what became of me, I was originally a human, but now I'm a brine

[Giselle] - Oh shut up you ditzy little slut!

[CP] Growls darkly-

[Yaunfen] - Learned taunt- Pulls a rather obnoxius face

[Doc] Actually suprised- Yanufen? How did you...? The eggs... oh dear....

[Gk] Don't call Lie a slut unless you want me to replace you right now by breaking your face.

[Giselle] - Replace me?  Ha!  As if!  You're not even remotely ghast like!

[Gk] Nope, and I don't have to be. I was born in the Nether. It's in my blood.

[Giselle] - The Master would never replace me

[Grayson] - Shut up you little brown worm

[Gk] Pfft! Your position is tenous at best. Likewise for your fuckbuddy there.

[Doc] Zip it roadhog. That's my child. - Scratches Yaunfen's chin and tickles hir long whiskers

[Grayson] - What sort of abomination did you fuck to create that?

[Blake] - I assure you, my position is in no danger

[Doc] They're adopted. But I assure you, my mate is just as monstrous as I. And you get one more insult before I knock your rotting block off.

[Gk] Ha! You don't get to decide sweetheart. It's Cp's call. And it's just  that attitude that's put your jobs in question.

[Giselle] - We're to important, besides, currently there's nobody ready to be put in training for the general position

[Gk] Wrong. I'm ready and willing to take both your places.

[Blake] - You know nothing of our units!

[Gk] How do you know? Cp's told me everything I need and I can always whip a few mobs into shape if anyone feels like mouthing off.

[Giselle] - Master, you wouldn't!

[CP] - Giselle, how many warnings have I given you recently?

[Gk] Too many I think. You ought to just banish both of them.

[CP] - I know, but I didn't want to drag you away from helping with Endrea

[Blake] - Oh what does that flying bitch have to do with anything?

[Gk] Dangerous growl - Don't talk that way about my niece or there won't be enough left of you to fill a bucket.

[Giselle] - Your niece?  Ha!  That's ridiculous, the only relations Endrea has is to her precious little ender children

[Doc] I'm not the only one here who believes in adopting loved ones.

[Gk] Yes, and they're under my protection as well.

[Blake] - Honestly Master, why are you putting up with this foolishness?  You haven't killed any humans in months and it's starting to affect you

[Gk] Don't talk around me, you meally mouthed ass-kisser! What he does is none of your fucking business anyway!

[Blake] - Oh?  Does anyone else hear an annoying little fly?

[Gk] Turns to Cp- Beaten up or dead? Your call.

[CP] - That's a tough one..

[Giselle] - Master!

[Lie] - CP, don't kill them, you yourself said something like that could cause a rebellion

[CP] - Good point...

[Gk] So can I beat him up or no?

[CP] - Go ahead

[Gk] I'll be outside, if you're man enough Blake. - Stalks out.

[[Blake] - That insufferable little-

[CP] - GO

[Blake] - Ah, um, yes Master- He goes and opens the door, stepping outside

[Gk] Is in his full glory outside the door, flames are curling from his open lips and a long slimy tongue slurps over his fangs as he grins wickedly. He opens his wings and the ghast tentacles wiggle obscenely. - Me first- He kicks out with his sharp hooves at the blaze general.

[Blake] Is thrown back inside, nearly hurtling into Lie who is pulled out of the way by CP-

[Giselle] - Blake!

[Gk] Lets the open door frame his fearsome visage. - Anyone else want proof of my qualifications?

[Grayson] - Those two are always weaklings

[Gk] Says the pre-roasted piggy.

[Grayson] - Match my size and we'll fight

[Yaunfen] Makes happy noises at Gk-

[Gk] Sorry porky, I only come in two sizes, small and XXXL.

[Grayson] Growls-

[CP] Sighs- Are all of you done yet?  I'd rather get back to my work

[Giselle] - But Master, wouldn't it be best to do your work in your office?

[Doc] You think he doesn't have an office in his wife's house? That's rather silly.

[Giselle] - In this dump?  It can probably barely hold a candle to his real one

[Gk] Don't talk shit about Lie's house. And what the fuck do you know about decorating?

[Doc] It's just a big empty room, what's so special?

[Giselle] - Plenty more than that bitch

[CP] - Giselle, you will cease now

[Banette] Kicks Giselle in the leg like a small child and then flees behind Cp-

[Doc] You just hate her anyway, who cares what you think?

[Giselle] - I was supposed to become the Master's mate

[Doc] Says you and no one else.

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[Grayson] - Perhaps we should see what's so damn appealing about this server

[Giselle] - For once you've had a good idea Grayson

[Doc] As long as you leave our humans and little ones alone, I'm fine with that. The rules are simple; no stealing or griefing.

[Doc] Pulls out a command block and begins typing- I've got some temporary names set up, it's a thing I'm testing. You're on respawn as guests but don't use it as an excuse to start shit or I'll turn it off.

[Grayson] - Such things are for weaklings

[Doc] whatever. I'm doing it for Cp, since your his guests.

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[TLOT] is already walking to the spawn, shaking his head in amusement-

[CP] - Remember, this is not a seed that we're taking over

[Giselle] - Who would want to stay in such a low resolution anyways?

[Doc] Some of us are older then Minecraft. Low is comfortable.

[Magnolia] - Um...  May I be excused from this?

[Winston] Pats her on the head-

[Doc] Magnolia? Are you actually a child? There are lots of kids in the village if you'd prefer to go play. No offense meant.

[Magnolia] - Oh, um, not really...

[CP] - Her more child like form is because it's more comfortable for her and fits her demeanor better as well.  She's not the most bold and it makes it easier for her to hide

[Doc] Understood. I thought there was a chance she was more like Sally.

[Blake] - Shall we be off to see just what could be so appealing about this place?

[Giselle] - Yes, let's

[Gk] Moves graciously away from the door and cat-loafs to watch them exit.

[Doc] I will be keeping an eye on you, just in case

[CP] Groans- This could create one Nether of a mess...

[Gk] it shows you're confident though

[CP] - I'd rather those three not be here

[Doc] I understand. Yaunfen? You ready for a little ride?

[Yaunfen] Burp!

[Doc] It's gonna be okay Cp. -grinning- and if it's not, I'll just arrange an accident. - winks -

[Doc] Shifts as Xe exits and the bitty dragon ends up coiled in hir mane.

[Lie] - It will be alright CP, Doc, TLOT, and GK know what their doing

[CP] - I know, but those three idiot generals of mine don't know that

[Sweet Alex] is coming up the path to Lies house with a chest in her arms-

[Giselle] Scowls at the sight of the human- Pathetic thing

[Sweet Alex] Good morning! Who are you guys with? Wait... Is that Winston? Nice to see you again!

[Winston] Gives her a friendly wave-

[Giselle] Preps a fire charge-

[Doc] Arches up behind them - Good morning Sweet Alex, whatcha got there?

[Sweet Alex] Cinnamon rolls! Thanks for the spices Doc!

[Giselle] Scowls at Doc- She's a human, why not just destroy her?

[Doc] Because that would be super dumb?

[Sweet Alex] You don't like humans?

[Doc] Sweet Alex is the best glitch-talker on the seed and she's performed two miraculious healings so far with nothing but her own good energy.

[Sweet Alex] -Blushes-

[Blake] - Humans are prey which the Master subjects to his whims and nothing more

[Sweet Alex] Which brine is your master?

[Doc] Cp.

[Sweet Alex] See now you're just being silly. Cp is a grump but he's not like that at all.

[Giselle] - Shut up you twit, you don't know our Master at all

[Sweet Alex] He's my neighbor, and I know him quite well thank you.

[Grayson] - Pathetic little weakling, I think I'll kill you here and now

[Doc] Considering that she's under both my protection and Gk's, that would be a very poor idea.

[Grayson] - I don't care- He approaches the small Alex

[Sweet Alex] Takes out a rather large flower, it's rainbow colored and nearly as tall as she is.

[Doc] Alex....

[Sweet Alex] It's okay. TLOT gave it to me.

[Grayson] Raises his fist-

[Sweet Alex] Shakes the gaudy flower right in his face-

[Grayson] Stumbles back and rubs at his eyes- WHAT THE NETHER IS THAT!?

[Sweet Alex] Walks calmly around him- It's a color flash. Maybe next time I see you, you'll be politer.

[Doc] Chuckles-

[Grayson] Swings wildly at the air in the general direction of Sweet Alex-

[Sweet Alex] Evades him easily and walks under Doc's feet and back towards Cp and Lie's place. - See you later Winston, Doc.

[jewel] -stumbles past doc for a few blocks before collapsing on the ground she is still awake but she seem to be sweating heavily because she is still in her cat suit-

[Doc] Jewel! - Trots quickly over to her- What happened?

[jewel] it's hot to hot

[Giselle] Starts moving away from the group-

[Doc] Take some of your clothes off. No one cares.

[jewel] I do I wont I refuse to take them off

[Doc] Even if I gave you something cooler to wear?

[Blake] Distracts Winston so Giselle can get away-

[Gk] Has come up the path and follows Giselle from above-

[jewel] what can be cooler when you want every part of you body covered

[Giselle] Is approaching CP's place, looking for an opportunity to strike at Lie-

[Doc] I could make you a long dress out of something light?

[Gk] Lands quietly on Lies roof and watches Giselle-

[jewel] then someone could see under the dress

[Giselle] Is sticking to the shadows and watches as Lie steps out to greet Sweet Alex-

[Sweet Alex] I brought you some cinnamon rolls Lie!

[Doc] Maybe you should go visit Gem? She has a whole room made of ice.

[Lie] - Oh that sounds wonderful!  Thank you!

[Sweet Alex] I ran into Cp's associates. They're rather rude, aren't they?

[jewel] -slowly gets up- that might be the best

[Doc] Do you know where she lives? I can chat and let her know. She might enjoy the company actually.

[jewel] I don't live that far from there so I have seen it

[Lie] - A reason as to why they're here is my fault, two of them really don't like me

[Giselle] Creates multiple fire charges-

[Doc] Here take this in the meantime- Gives her a block of packed ice. -   That should keep you from passing out at least.

[Gk] Clears his throat behind Giselle-

[Sweet Alex] Oh! Hey Gk. You again!

[Giselle] Growls- Fuck off asshole

[jewel] -takes the block- thank you doc -starts to walk to gem's house with the packed ice on her head-

[Gk] Leave her alone unless you'd like to be dragon chow instead of fired.

[Doc] You're welcome Jewel. Stay hydrated!

[Giselle] - I don't answer to you- She fires off the charges towards Lie

[Gk] Leaps over her and takes the hits himself broadside- Son of a bitch!

[Sweet Alex] Gk! - As a reflex she draws a bow -

[Lie] - GK?

[Gk] Is on the ground and swearing a lot-

[CP] Hears the explosion and rushes out, his aura dark and dangerous-

[Sweet Alex] Looses a very fast arrow at Giselle, aiming for her head-

[Giselle] Launches more fire charges, one destroying the arrow-

[CP] Blocks the rest-

[Gk] Smashes into Giselle with one of his wings and tangles her up in the tentacles-

[Giselle] - Let me go you curr!

[Gk] Thumps her against the ground a couple of times- Fuck you!

[CP] - GK, hold her still- The grass around him is turning black and burnt

[Gk] Adjusts his grip so She's upright in his tentacles with only her torso tangled-

[Sweet Alex] Gk... did she hurt you badly?

[Gk] Not fire-wise but the impact hurt like hell!

[CP] - I gave you many chances Giselle, but you just outright attacked my mate...  This is not acceptable, so, I will strip you of everything, your dignity, your status, and your power.  You will be weaker than any other of your kind and I will make certain you never enter my sight again!

[Giselle] - But...  But Master!

[Gk] Told ya you were getting fired.

[CP] Focus' his power and Giselle begins writhing, shifting into a normal ghast once more in what appears to be a very painful manner-

[Gk] Adjusts his grip so he has her tangled in both wings- You spit anything at me I'll head-butt you in the eyes with my horns.

[Giselle] Angry ghast screech-

[Gk] What are you going to do with her Cp?

[CP] - Banish her into the farthest corner of the Nether where she will be alone

[Gk] Which Nether?

[CP] - Mine, so I can be sure she doesn't try to return or get help from anyone else

[Lie] Spawns some healing flowers near GK-

[Gk] What about her butt-boy Blake? You risk making her a martyr

[CP] Growls- You think I don't know that?  But he hasn't done anything to directly harm Lie.  Nor has he done anything bad enough to deserve banishment!

[Gk] Smiles wickedly. - I have a wonderful idea....

[CP] Snaps- What?

[Gk] Have TLOT make her small and give her to Blake. Then tell him if he behaves you might consider restoring her, not to any authority, but to human shaped so they can boink again.

[CP] - And what if he spreads that it's her?

[Sweet Alex] You shouldn't seperate them if they're a couple anyway. That's mean.

[Gk] So? It's called an object lesson. If you send her off, NOTCH might find her and pump her for info.

[CP] - They're not an actual couple, they just bang because they can't do it to me

[Sweet Alex] He has a point though, you can keep an eye on her if she's close, but she can't do anything herself if she's small. And nobody should be alone. That's mean.

[Lie] - CP, think about how much you hate being a cat, it will be many times worse fo her because she won't be able to change back

[Gk] And it shows just a little bit of what TLOT is capable of....

[[CP] - FINE!  But you can fucking take her there, I need to go punch stuff

[Gk] Deal. - Gets up with a groan- Alex kiddo, you gonna be okay going home alone?

[Sweet Alex] I'll just hang out with Lie for a bit, if that's okay with you Lie?

[Lie] - Absolutely, why don't we go into the green house

[GK] Adjust his grip on Giselle so she's upside down on his back and tangled in both his wings - We're going for a walk beeyotch.

[Giselle] More angry noises-

[Gk] Whatever- Heads for the spawn-

[TLOT] Is basically meditating on a dirt block and raises his eyebrows at Gk's burden-

[TLOT] Ummmm

[Gk] Hey TLOT, I have a little task for you. Turn this ghast into something smaller for me. Cp's request. It's a punishment.

[TLOT] Can I ask what it did?

[GK] Attacked Lie, more then once.

[TLOT] Gets a rather dark and angry air- Did you have anything specific in mind?

[Gk] Your choice- He pulls the Ghast down and forces it against the ground-

[TLOT] Asks it a mental question- any last words?

[Giselle] - I refuse to be belittled like this, the Master will come to his senses!

[TLOT] Ah stubborn. I'll take that into account. - He advances on the vast creature and grabs it easily, smushing and molding it down, before stepping back to check his work. Where the ghast was is a pure white donkey.

[Gk] Niiice

[Giselle] Loud angry bray-

[TLOT] Same to you.

[CP] Mentally- Is that bitch taken care of?

[TLOT] I made her look more like her actions. She's now a donkey. You're welcome.

[CP] - Still seems to good for her...

[TLOT] Meh. It's worse then being a cat. At least a cat kinda has fingers and a sort of thumb.

[CP] Grumbles-

[Giselle] Kicks at TLOT-

[TLOT] Slides around her and throws a tether on her before lashing it to a post and sitting back down. -I'm betting the others will be along eventually.

[gem] -flies down and lands softly in front of tlot-

[TLOT] Hello Gem, what are you up too? I heard you were getting a bit overheated?

[gem] I was but now I have these cold flowers to help but I came to ask a favor

[TLOT] Puffs up a bit  - I'm just in high demand today! What can I do for you, my friend?

[Gk] Has curled up and is just watching Giselle with a satisfied air

[gem] well I need a -air quote- toy

[TLOT] Ooo! Now that's what I like to hear. - He wiggles his fingers in anticipation- What kind?

[gem] a dildo but to be specific one that has soft spikes because space angel have hole that are reversed to match males patterns

[TLOT] Cocks his head - You mean it's like a puzzle piece inside and you need a really specific shape to fit?

[gem] kind of because those hole are extremely sensitive and will feel better if I was able to get into them

[TLOT] I think we may need some privacy for this.... Gk can you watch the jackass?

[Gk] Sure thing.

[TLOT] Come with me. - Waves her over to the netherbrick house by the horsepen

[gem] right -follows tlot-

[Giselle] Is pulling at the lead in much frustration-

[TLOT] Slides down the ladder and leads her to a room with several beds - I'm flattered you came to me, though I think Doc could do this more easily.

[TLOT] I can make kind of a cast of your innards but I'll have to touch you a bit, is that okay?

[gem] It's ok

[TLOT] Have a sit and I'll get something soft.

[gem] -sits on the bed-

[TLOT] Starts fussing around and finally settles on a rubber ball he found LH playing with and copied. He makes a few more copies and picks them apart before mashing them in his hands. - Sorry Gem, I think this will feel rather wierd.

[gem] I can't assume it won't

[TLOT] Fair enough - He feels around a bit until he gets a finger inside her and pushes the glob in in a rough tube shape.  -

[gem] -jumps slightly at the feeling-

[TLOT] Pushes a bit and the glob starts reforming to fill the weird topography inside the space angel-

[gem] this defiantly at the moment feels very weird

[TLOT] I'll try and make it quick- He wiggles it around until it's the right shape and then pulls it back out of her-

- the spikes are on uneven spots on the dildo spread out over mostly the top half of it-

[TLOT] Well that's interesting. Does it need to be slightly smaller?

[gem] not at all

[TLOT] Okay, then I'll spiff it up. - He makes a happy whistling noise as he changes the colors of the pixels to a sparkly purple and added a bit of redstone to the core of it. - Just give it a tap right here and we're in business! - The little device begins wiggling, shaking and humming like it's trying to get away from TLOT.

[gem] thank you tlot for your help with this

[TLOT] Any time! - hesitates-  I'm sorry if you're lonely Gem. If I knew anyone suitible I'd introduce you. - Hands her the toy

[gem] -take it- even if I don't find someone I still have great friends and family

[TLOT] Is just beaming. - I feel the same. You guys make me feel like the whole servers dad. -chuckles- Doc is motherbrine.

[gem] -laughs- best father and motherbine ever

[TLOT] Don't tell Doc I said that okay. Haha. I've seen the way they deal with Yaunfen when they think no one is around. 100% mom.

[gem] I won't but I have quite a bit parent in me I guess we all do

[TLOT] Hows the baby doing?

[gem] aqua grew

[TLOT] Really? How big?!

[gem] aven and ben had to use their water powers to move him into a new pond because he out grew the one he was in

[TLOT] Ah, Is it going to be a visit to Herabrine pretty soon? I think that's gonna be a big dragon. Are you planning on moving?

[gem] my house no use less I can find a winter biome but I haven't seen one and I doubt aven and ben would want to move the house

[TLOT] So are just going to keep making bigger and bigger ponds on the savannah for Aqua? That might be a little cruel.

[gem]  don't live that far away from the ocean I was thinking if we really need to next time aqua need to move  we can add a temporary gate to a section of the ocean instead till aqua is ready to be free

[TLOT] That's why I was suggesting you talk to Herabrine. Doc can make walls in any terrain easily, but she can find you a good spot that's protected.

[gem] i would rather make the wall myself i miss the amount of building i use to do back in my server

[TLOT] Well you should talk to Hera anyway. You are eventually going to be putting a huge dragon with untested social and language skills in the vicinity of her house. She's already mad Doc brought that gigantic black thing in here.

[gem] I have introduced hera to aqua but I will talk to her again about moving him into the ocean

[TLOT] Do they know any words yet? Yaunfen is at two so far. "Burp" and "no".

[gem] not that I know of but aqua has seemed to have made friends with hyrule

[TLOT] Laughs- I knew it. He's gonna be a water baby. I bet those two will be best friends. How big of a conniption fit did BEN have?

[gem] according to vin he will yelling his lungs out

[TLOT] I kinda feel bad for him, but he needs to get over it. It won't be long before that kid is running all over the place just like all the villager's children.

[gem] he has been getting bigger faster then a human would but not super fast

[TLOT] It's probably a mix of parental traits and being born in this game specifically. With a ghost and a creepypasta for parents who knows what to expect really.

[gem] all hell to break loose is what I think is going to happen once hyrule can walk and say more then three words

[TLOT] Doc is concerened about Slender... I picked up on it easily after their last talk. It's actually lucky that Aven can't leave.

[gem] aven would turn to a ghost if she did she would basically be in spectator mode but slightly truculent

[TLOT] I know. It keeps her safe because Slender can't kidnap her.

[gem] I am glad to I would rather her not die for a second time

[TLOT] I heard a juicy little rumor actually...

[gem] oh do tell

[TLOT] Well you know from BEN that creepypastas with the Insanity posession can't breed right? Apprently two of them have been trying to have a kid out there for some time. So we may get some new arrivals when they get desperate enough to trade the posessive bitch for the chance at a baby.

[gem] awe I hope they do so they can also have a happy family

[TLOT] Who knows? I don't know what they're like. They might not even be humanoid.

[gem] I barely am

[TLOT] Good point. You know... speaking of nonhuman things... I had the weirdest experience. I think Doc's house is haunted by something more then just Chomplies.

[gem] oh I think I know what your talking about I heard it roams at night

[TLOT] I've gotten some weird feelings I can't put my finger on. Lots of sadness. But it always seems to get away before I can find where it's coming from. Doc's house is such a maze. Anything could hide in there.

[gem] I was going to do a stake out in the kitchen to get a screen shot but I kept putting it off

[TLOT] It's not always the kitchen though. I've seen some odd shapes in the water at night that I know aren't anything that should be in the bay.

[gem] I feel like we need more then one person to this stake out to cover all the places it could apear

[TLOT] I don't know if that will work anyway. It seems more sad then dangerous. I feel bad for it. And I'm worried it's something Doc made that they don't want to talk about. So I don't say anything when they're around.

[gem] well if we can figure out what it is maybe we could cheer it up

[TLOT] Maybe. Do you have any ideas? Besides a stake-out?

[gem] well no I barely know what it is and if it's sad I wouldn't want to put any catching traps that might scare them

[TLOT] Yeah, that would be bad... I don't know.But you know you have the run of Doc's house if you ever want to explore.

[gem] snake tends to do that for me because he really like to I still get his memory of the place

[TLOT] Has he seen anything?

[gem] most of it none that involves going down a ladder or he would never get back up

[TLOT] Quite a few rooms require a ladder. If you want to explore, it should probably be you rather then your guardians.

[gem] I will keep that in mind I am going to head there now

[TLOT] Okay, I'm goign to stay by the spawn. I think our visitors will find their way there pretty soon. - heads up the ladder and back outside

[gem] -follows tlot up the ladder before heading to the castle-

[Exeggcute] Is sunning themselves on the porch by BEN's old room-

[gem] -walks up to the porch and sees the exeggcute- oh hey there

[Exeggcute] Looks at Gem curiously and there's a bit of buzzing in her mind from it

[gem] -is thinking about how cute exeggcute look. sits on her knees to reach out to pet them-

[Exeggcute] Seems to get it and the pods shuffle to get under her hand-

[gem] -pets them her four arms make it easier to pet all of them-

[Steve] Is tending to the horses under their feet.

[gem] -gets up and goes inside and enters the horse pen area one of her horses are still in the pen from when ben left them there-

[Steve] Is surrounded by horses, there are several skeleton ones, a trio of normal horses and Doc's zombie horse, and towering over them, the imposing form of the Mudsdale.

[gem] hello steve

[Steve] Is giving Gir a hug, the zombie horse makes a hollow whinny, but it's obviously content- Oh! Hey Gem! Gone to ground with the rest of us huh? I heard Cp's generals are bad news.

[gem] really how bad are we talking and I came more to explore the house a bit more my self

[Steve] Oh. They're hot-heads. I heard one of them attacked Doc on more then one occasion. They don't like Lie at all.

[gem] -growls a little at the thought of them attacking people on the server-

[Steve] It's okay. We're strong too. I'm not afraid of them at all. But... Markus is here. Cp wanted to hide him to avoid any awkward questions....

[gem] isn't he also sick that can't be good him to meet violent hot-heads

[Steve] Yes, he can't get out of bed. Flux is looking after him though, Dolly is nearby too if she needs help.

[gem] it also seem youhave an extra horse then usually

[Steve] Yeah. Someone must have left one. I wonder who's it is? I'm sure they'll be back eventually.

[gem] they are mine but I didn't bring them here and I was look for them.

[Steve] Spreads his hands- well.... I guess you can take them whenever then. I'm okay with looking after them in the meantime.

[gem] i'll take them home when I leave for home thank you for taking care of them while they are here

[Steve] Hey, anytime.

[gem] hey have you seen anything strange wondering around?

[Steve] Stranger then usual I assume? Haha. Yeah... sometimes. Doc's lab is full of weird noises at night, and I don't mean the caged mobs.

[gem] something none has caught a real glimpse of has been moving around at night sometimes

[Steve] Shivers- I've heard it. It sounds like someone dragging a huge slimeblock.

[gem] I plan to get to the bottom of this and find out exactly what it is

[Steve] Whatever it is... I think there must be another way to get into the bay from the house besides the moonpool in Silver's room. We find big patches of water in the lower tunnels sometimes.

[gem] hmm pieces of a curious puzzle.

[Steve] Just... be gentle okay? I don't think it's anything bad. I know Doc has secrets, we try not to pry. There's a lot of heartache in hir past.

[gem] tlot said it was sad I really want to find out what it is to cheer it up and get a screen shot

[Steve] Ha, you sound a bit like Arden. He's the same way. Wants pictures of everything strange. Can't imagine what he thinks he'll do with them. Something tells me that group is going to end up digital just like Markus from staying here too long.

[gem] arden was the first one to tell me about this thing running around

[Steve] Maybe you should talk to him then. I know he's a night owl anyway.

[gem] I will have to talk to him more about what I found out anyway I should go look for him

[Steve] Check the Shrine. He likes to read on the bed by the map.

[gem] thank you steve i'll go do that -heads to the shrine-

[Arden] Is laying on his back snoring lightly, there's a book on UFOs splayed open across his chest.

[gem] -enters the room and sees arden- hey arden

[Arden] snnnnnnnnrk....

[gem] -pokes arden-

[Arden] Stirs a little and opens his eyes, they go very wide for a second at the angel's appearance and then his breathing slows down a bit as he realizes who it is and wakes up fully. - Hey Gem... sorry I kinda nodded off. I like this stuff, but it makes for rather dry reading sometimes.

[gem] it's ok I have been finding out a bit more of the thing running around

[Arden] Perks up, - do tell!

[gem] tlot for reading emotions told me they seem sad and steve said it sound like a slime block being drag around and would find patches of water around sometimes

[Arden] It smells super odd too. Spicy almost. I'm used to finding little trails of slime from the Goomy, but every so often I'll find one of these weirdrer patches that's really fragrant.

[gem] well I am looking to find out just what it is and maybe cheer it up as well

[Arden] Well... Most of the activity seems centered around the lab and lower levels. Though once I saw something in the water over the kitchen, but it was a moonless night and I just got a brief glimpse of something rather big.

[gem] all it seems to be is glimpses I am going to be sneaky and get close

[Arden] I think maybe it's just a dark colored thing?

[gem] still need to get close to it to cheer it up and the closer I am the better the screen shot I can get

[Arden] I hate to say it, because I want proof too but... from what I've been reading... certain types of monsters can sense intent and will avoid anyone with a camera. I think that's why I'm not having any luck. It might be psychic or just really sensitive.

[gem] well if I am going to cheer it up I would rather ask for the photo rather then scare it off by taking the photo you can cheer up someone who ran away

[Arden] Good point. But I would say, really get into the house, places where the sun never touches. That's your best bet.

[gem] there are a lot of underground areas i would assume they could be in any of those areas

[Arden] I guess. But... I hear it in the lab hallway sometimes... I think.... it's sat there outside my door before. But I might have just dreamed it.

[gem] steve said he heard it in the lab before i would say the lab would be the best bet at this point

[Arden] Probably. I'm betting Doc wouldn't care if you claimed one of the recovery rooms for the time being.

[gem] my excuse is recovering from this terrible heat

[Arden] Sounds legit. Why is it so hot anyway? I didn't think this game had seasons?

[gem] the game updated it tend to affect the weather last time it snows several feet and i was having a ball in the snow while everyone else bundled inside

[Arden] Ugh. I'm glad I missed that. I never want to see snow again. It's bad enough that I still have nightmares about... that night... oh my god.. I'M SO STUPID

[gem] your not stupid

[Arden] YES I AM. - he tangles his fingers in his ginger curls- I've smelled that before! In Dolly's house! It must be... something that followed us in! But how? It's obviously huge?!

[gem] even if it did we can still figure out how and why it's sad

[Arden] I don't know... But if it was with the group of things that was trying to kill us. I wonder why it hasn't acted already? Maybe because it's trapped here?

[gem] maybe or maybe it's not violent at all and it's scared after all it keep running away

[Arden] Either way, I'll keep looking. I'm curious like that.

[gem] just always be careful

[Arden] Always. Doc says it's impossible to die for good here, but I'm not going to test it!

[gem] well if you see patches of dark blue orchids with glowing white dots that's where I have died in the server

[Arden] That's weird. But it sounds pretty.

[gem] they are. well if you will excuse me I am going to explore a bit before night falls hopefully I can meet them tonight

[Arden] Best of luck.

[gem] -heads of to explore-

-There's the sound of a rather gruff female voice arguing with someone a bit further down the path.

[Herabrine] No, he's totally right, blue is a flavor. [Enderbro] SEE!?

[Steffan] Stop encouraging him!

[Blake] - What in the Nether is that?

[Grayson] - More weaklings most likely

[Enderbro] Notices them- Hi!!!

[Doc] Seeing an opportunity for mischief- Bro, I have something that might be blue flavored...

[Enderbro] GIMMIE.

[Steffan] WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP GIVING HIM SUGAR?!

[Herabrine] Because it's funny!

[Doc] Pulls out a pair of large blue gems that sparkle in the sunlight.

-An Enderman teleports off-

[Blake] Scoffs- Did Endrea finally give up and start creating rubbish?

[Doc] He's not from her seed. Bro is special. - Xe offers one of the gems to Yaunfen, who takes it in their teeth egarly and gives the other to bro.

[Enderbro] Turns the gem over twice and licks it with his long purple tongue before shoving it in his mouth. muffled- BLUE FLAVOR

[Doc] I figured that's what you were on about.

[Herabrine] Wanna see something funny Steffan?

[Steffan] NO.

[Herabrine] throws a small piece of candy in his open mouth and he falls over instantly.

[Enderbro] STEEEEVE fell down.

[Grayson] - These pathetic things should be exterminated

[Doc] Um Hera... what was that?

[Herabrine] Just some special candy Lj gave me.

[Doc] He's asleep isn't he?

[Herabrine] Yep.

[Enderbro] Sucking ont he gem- So cute.

[Steffan] -begins snoring loudly-

[Doc] You've got a serious attitude problem Grayson. That sleeping Steve removed a curse from one of our most powerful brines. Specifically the dragon that kicked Blake earlier.

[Enderbro] Has made a little wreath of flowers and sets one on Magnolias head.

[Magnolia] - Oh, um... Thank you

[Yaunfen] Overly loud slurp as xe sucks hir gem-

[Enderbro] At Winston - Is she your daughter?

[Winston] - No, not at all

[Enderbro- Okie-dokie - huge crunch as he bites the candy gem in half

[Herabrine] Giving another tour Doc?

[Doc] Nah. Just supervising.

[Grayson] - We can at least get rid of this retard!- He aims a punch at Enderbro

[Endrea] Tears in from the End and land heavily between Grayson and Enderbro, roaring loudly at the pigman-

[Enderbro] WHOAH MAMA! - waves his skinny arms wildly-  Hey Endrea!

[Doc][ Ah, good to see you back.

[Endrea] - Briefly, one of my other children alerted me to the situation here. And you- She turns towards Grayson with a snarling growl- Will back off immediately lest you wish to be devoured!

[Enderbro] Has basically never been defended by a mother figure and tears up instantly- I HAVE FEELS WAAAH!

[Doc] Eh, dont eat him Endrea, you'd probably get some kind of nasty stomach flu from his rotten pork flesh.

[Endrea] - It's a risk I'd be willing to take

[Herabrine] I could just drown him Endrea.

[Enderbro] Latches onto Endrea's leg in a hug -

[Endrea] Briefly reaches over to lightly nuzzle Enderbro before bringing her wing down over him to shelter him and returns her attention to Grayson-

[Grayson] - Are you really defending that defective abomination!  Just get rid of it!

[Endrea] Snaps at Grayson, making the pigman stumble backwards-

[Herabrine] Picks up Steffan who's still snoring and walks over to Bro who adds him to the hug around Endrea's leg-

[Doc] You are really judgemental Grayson.

[Grayson] - Weak mobs are worthless, it's as simple as that

[Herabrine] Dude, you have issues.

[Doc] Endrea it's okay. I've got this in hand. You shouldn't leave the little dragons alone for too long anyway.

[Endrea] - Very well, but these two are coming with me for their own protection

[Herabrine] I love it! Make sure you take a screenshot of Steffan's face when he wakes up!

[Doc] You're awful Hera.

[Enderbro] We're going for a ride?!

[Endrea] - Yes little one, hold onto me and your friend tightly now

[Enderbro] Is sparkling way more then usual, his usually invisible mouth is split in a huge grin-Ready for takeoff!

[Endrea] Creates an opening to the void beneath her, her home briefly visible before she slips through and closes the opening behind her-

[Herabrine] Is cackling in evil glee.

[Doc] -sigh-

[Grayson] - Pathetic, running away to her home where she cannot be reached

[Doc] She has children that need tending you turd. Her primary babysitter is here because of stupid Blake and that bitch Giselle.

[Blake] - You dare to insult me!?

[Doc] Dare? Normally I don't put on airs, but you're a mob, I'm a Herobrine. That was a mild insult. Get over it.

[Blake] - I do not have to accept anything from you!  You are not my Master!

[Doc] Pfft. Whatever. Unlike Cp, I have better things to do then put up with mobs whining at me all day and night.

[Magnolia] Creeps a bit closer to the water-

[Herabrine] Whatcha looking at kiddo?

[Magnolia] - I can feel a magma cube nearby...  I'm worried about the fact that it seems to be under tha water...

[Herabrine] Oh! That's Maggie. My house is down there- points to the bay.

[Magnolia] - Is she safe?  She must be scared...

[Herabrine] Yeah, she's fine. She keeps me company. Maggie's got the run of the house.

[Magnolia] Worried noise-

[Herabrine] Pulls a nightvision potion from the creative and splashes Magnolia with it. - My house is glass, you should be able to see her if you look down

[Magnolia] Peers- If you're sure...

[Herabrine] Positive. what's your concern anyway? You just like bouncy mobs?

[Magnolia] - I'm the Master's general for Magma cubes and Slimes

[Herabrine] Cool beans.

[Blake] Starts storming off- I'm bored of this, I'm going to find Giselle

[Herabrine] -shrugs- Whatever. I'm headed back for the woods. Have fun Doc.

[Doc] You're spending an awful lot of time with that clown...

[Herabrine] Maaaybe. Oh well.

[Grayson] Follows Blake-

[Doc] Winston... I trust you well enough. You have free range. Feel free to take Magnolia to the bar and have some lunch if you want. I'm going to stay close to those two just in case.

[Winston] - I understand

[Doc] Thank you- Pads after Grayson and Blake.

-The two generals are approaching spawn-

[TLOT] Has settled back down on his block and is just enjoying the sun. He's still in just his pants with his shirt over his shoulder.

[Grayson] - Oh look, another pathetic excuse...

[TLOT] Doesn't bother to acknowledge him

[Gk] Opens one eye. - Got bored of wandering around already?

[Blake] Scowls at GK- Go away

[Gk] Nah, I'm comfy. Get bent.

[TLOT] It's not smart to tell dragons what to do anyway.

[Doc] Chuckles- Words to live by.

[Blake] - And you are?

[TLOT] Streches a bit - The native brine of this seed and protecter of everyone on it. I am Herobrine, The Lord of Tears.

[Grayson] - Tears of a scardy ocelot I bet

[TLOT] The tears were my own, and the name was chosen by my subjects, but I'm sure my recently dead NOTCH shed one or two.

[Doc] He certainly screamed a lot, that's for sure.

[Grayson] - I doubt that claim, if our Master can't kill his own, then how could yours be dead?

[Doc] I was there. Cp also helped to kill the beast. Ask him yourself if you doubt us.

[Grayson] - Aww, so you needed help?  Pathetic little weakling

[TLOT] There's nothing wrong with taking offered help. Or giving it. That's what friends do.

[Doc] Trust me, he's not weak.

[Grayson] - Prove it

[TLOT] Magick, mental or physical?

[Grayson] - Physical, those other two are cowards ways out!

[TLOT] - sigh- Oh well, it wouldn't hurt me to take a bath anyway, I'm already sweaty. - He puts his shirt away before hopping down from the block -

[Doc] Oh dear. Try not to kill him, okay?

[Grayson] Immediately charges TLOT-

[TLOT] Crouches and uses Grayson's momentum to throw him - Ewww! Fuck you're all greasy! Ever heard of a shower?!

[Grayson] Grapples at the ground to stop himself and charges again-

[TLOT] Throws a straight punch at Grayson's charging head-

[Grayson] Brings his hand up to catch TLOT's fist-

[TLOT] Twists upward and kicks at the pigman's stomach.

[Grayson] Grunts but doesn't budge-

[TLOT] Tps out of Grayson's hands and kicks him in the ass.

[Grayson] - Swings around to slap TLOT away- You're an annoying little fly

[TLOT] I'm a griefer, duh! - Grabs Grayson's arm and uses his force to toss himself clear.

[Grayson] Scowls in annoyance and charges again-

[TLOT] Tp's slightly above him and stomps on his back so he ends up with a mouthful of dirt.

[Grayson] Pushes himself back up surprisingly quickly-

[TLOT] Man, just using physical on physical attacks is boring. Damn it Doc you spoiled me!

[Doc] I can't help it!

[Grayson] Jumps at TLOT-

[TLOT] Throws an uppercut at his jaw-

[Grayson] Stumbles back-

[TLOT] You're a general right? Don't you have any special powers at all?

[Grayson] - I have a different weapon, strength is the only other thing I need

[Steve] Has crept down to the spawn and is watching from the archway-

[TLOT] Lame.

[Blake] Notices a bit of movement and growls at the Steve, flames gathering-

[Doc] Throws a tail swat at Blake- Don't do that unless you want to die.

[Blake] - That is a Steve, all of them should die

[TLOT] Hears him and snarls - That is my husband. Touch him and I'll shred your code.

[Doc] He'll eat you. Not kidding.

[Grayson] Tries to take advantage of the distraction-

[TLOT] Tp's next to Steve and leaves a two stack of cobbles for Grayson to run into

[Grayson] Runs straight into it and is stunned-

[Blake] - You're a fucking lucky Steve, I'll spare you for now...

[TLOT] Snorts - There is no 'for now.' Ask your friend Giselle what being a murderous bitch got her.

[Blake] - What are you talking about?

[TLOT] Points at the white donkey that's still tethered to the post. -

[Giselle] Angry donkey noises-

[Blake] Erupts into flames- WHAT DID YOU DO!?

[TLOT] Punished her. As Cp requested. She attacked Lie.

[Doc] Is all eyeballs.

[Blake] - That little bitch probably deserved it!

[Doc] For what? existing? Breaking the bubble of Giselle's delusional fantasy?

[Gk] Be grateful. I talked him out of outright banishing her. If you're good she might get a reprieve someday.

[Blake] - The Master must not be in the right state of mind.  I will speak to him about this is why the Master needs to return to his seed.  He's growing delusional!

[TLOT] Want me to call him? You might get punched.

[Blake] - No need, we'll simply go back to him and take him back with us

[Doc] Snorts with laughter- YOU are going to force Cp to do something?! Okay, wait for me! I want to watch!

[Blake] - You can go away!

[Doc] No way I'm missing this!

[TLOT] Unties the donkey and holds the lead- ready when you are

[Steve] Is staying very close to his hubby.

[CP] - Is still ripping into his punching bag-

[Gk] Is already flying there and lands on the roof- Lie!?

[Lie] - In the greenhouse

[Sweet Alex] Over here Gk!

[Gk] Come out here! Blake says he's going to force Cp to come with him, this should be a hoot!

[Lie] - What?

[Doc] Is prancing along - and me with no popcorn!

[Lie] - I am not making a popcorn plant

[Doc] That would be a noisy bloomer.

[TLOT] walks up with the donkey. - Hey Lie.

[Steve] Greets Sweet Alex-

[Blake] Glares at Lie- You fucking bitch

[Lie] - Same to you

[Steve] Guess what Lie. - Points to the donkey-

[Lie] - So don't work with that one, got it

[TLOT] As far as I know we're sending her with Blake anyway

[Blake] - Master!  Where are you?

[CP] Growls from his private chambers-

[Doc] Cat-loafs with a huge smile-

[Yaunfen] Crawls up onto hir head for a good view-

[Blake] Storms inside, looking for CP, it isn't long before there is an explosion and a good chunk of one of Lie's workshop walls is now missing as Blake is thrown back towards the group, CP flies up, covered in blood and his eyes glowing dangerously bright-

[CP] - You will fuck off Blake!  You are forgetting your place!

[TLOT] Quietly- well I guess the pecking order is being re-established at least.

[Doc] I'll help you fix it Lie.

[Steve] Me too.

[Lie] - Thank you, both of you

[CP] Is now beating the crap out of Blake-

[Doc] Very quietly - So glad it's not me for a change, also i'm not expected to stop him. Thank goodness

[CP] - Finally finishes and creates an opening- BOTH of you, LEAVE.  NOW.  And fucking take Giselle with you

[TLOT] Behave while Cp is gone.

[Grayson] Drags Blake through-

[CP] Closes the portal behind them, he's still rather aggravated-

[Doc] Deep breaths Cp.

[TLOT] Yeah, it's okay. Just sit down if you need too.

[CP] Growls-

[Lie] Approaches him- Hey, focus on me for now

[Sweet Alex] Is making a romantic face- Only beauty can calm the beast.

[Steve] That's adorably poetic

[Lie] With several calming words eventually gets CP to calm down-

[Doc] Is surveying the damage

[Gk] That was a royal beat-down, bravo Cp.

[CP] - Fucking assholes

[CP] - Where's Winston and Magnolia?

[Doc] Probably at the bar, I trust Winston to wander freely. I had to go after the bigger threat and we got seperated.

[CP] - I'm going to look for him, let him know what happened

[Lie] - CP, maybe you should change your clothes first?

[CP] - Hm?

[Doc] Unless you intend to scare the daylights out of them.

[CP] Grumbles but does go inside to change his clothes-

[Gk] That was fun. I'm gonna get a head start then.

[Sweet Alex] Gk?

[Gk] Hmm?

[Sweet Alex] Can you give me a ride home?

[Gk] Blushes but crouches down so she can get on.

[Sweet Alex] Thank you Lie.

[Gk] Trots off-

[Lie] - It was nice seeing you Sweet Alex, and thank you for the cinnamon rolls!

[Sweet Alex] You're welcome.

[Steve]There were rolls? And we didn't get any?! - pouts a bit-

[TLOT] Oh hush

[Lie] - Well, guess I'll start repairing the wall

[Doc] Oh let me help Lie. I can do it quickly.

[Lie] - Thank you

[CP] Comes out in fresh clothes and heads for the bar-

[Doc] Is already multiplying the remaining blocks and painting them over the busted areas with hir paws.

[Lie] Is repairing her brewing station even though she never uses it-

[Steve] Is there anything I can do?

[Lie] - Anything you can...  I don't know if any of CP's area needs repairs though...

[Steve] Hesitiates before peeking down the ladder

-The punching bag is ripped to shreds and there are chunks missing from the walls as well as half of the short couch-

[Steve] TLOT?!

[TLOT] I'm on it my lamb. - He slides down the ladder and the two of them start cleaning up-

[Lie] Starts putting the windows back into the wall-

[Doc] Is finishing up with the ceiling. - There we go, good as new. And really I think that was the best we could have hoped for situation-wise.

[Lie] - I suppose, could have done without being attacked

[TLOT] Calls up - But no one on our side got hurt!

[Lie] That's true...  Who all did they harass?

[Yaunfen] Is sniffing around the room again-

[Doc] They tried to take a poke at Enderbro and got a faceful of Endrea for their trouble.

[TLOT] And I had a brief fistfight with the pigman, what a candy-ass.

[Lie] - Endrea was there?

[Doc] Briefly. She took Bro and Steffan back to the end with her.

[Lie] - Oh dear...  I can't imagine Steffan being happy about that...

[Doc] He got knocked out as joke by Herabrine. I think it will be a rather rude awakening. But it's not like he's in danger.

[Lie] - Good point

[Yaunfen] Finds a random book and proudly carries it over to Doc-

[Doc] aww, what do you have there? Do you want me to read to you some more?

[Lie] - It might be one of Ashe's...  Or a floof book

[Doc] Let's see what it is. - Takes it gently and looks at the cover-

[Steve] Is dusting behind TLOT as his hubby cleans up the blood

[Lie] - You two okay down there?

[Doc] Xe looks a little distressed- This looks like an old fantasy book Yaunfen... let me skim it first. Maybe we can read it later.

[Steve] Just tidying up. It's messy down here.

[Lie] - What makes you say that Doc?  And of course it is Steve, I think CP's gotten a little to used to how good Winston is to him

[Doc] Because... - xe whispers to Lie. - Bad things happen to dragons in fantasy books! I don't want hir to have nightmares!

[Lie] - Oh, good point

[TLOT] I presume he doesn't like you down here Lie?

[Lie] - I don't know, I've never gone down, I don't want to intrude on his space

[TLOT] Has fixed the punching bag and re-hangs it. - Sounds like a good policy. But you can peek if you want, since we're fixing things.

[Lie] Hesitates but does peek-

[Steve] Pokes a few keys on Cp's typewriter-

[Lie] - Well that's a nostalgic sound

[Steve] Smiles happily- It is satisfying, isn't it? - he types- 'Lie loves you' in the middle of a small paragraph of random characters.

[Lie] - Steve I suspect your doing something...

[Steve] Just making noise.

[dreamscript]

Word for Word (M)

“Less talking. More fucking. Yeah?”

You swore you’d never sleep with him again, but people change. For better or for worse--who cares? Nobody’s trying to commit, anyways.

    ➟ jungkook x reader

    ➟ college/fratboy/fwb au.

    ➟ 3.4k of collegic glory & newly redacted frat names         ↳ tw: smut.

Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy through and through. If you look through all his social media photos, all you see are countless images of him sandwiched between two girls, his muscular arms wrapped around their shoulders. Two different girls in each picture, never the same. Most of the photos are dark, dimly lit party scenes with the flash in their eyes, but sometimes there are filter-saturated beach pictures in which Jungkook’s shirtless and hugging girls in bikinis.

(Quite frankly, at times you weren’t really sure who to be jealous of: Jungkook or the girls. Both looked really fucking good. But it’s not like you were really Instagram stalking him and actually cared about his pictures or anything. Totally not.)

His friends aren’t any better. Their entire squad is worshipped by a surprisingly large portion of the male population; your guy friends spend way too much time scrolling through the photos, gushing over the girls, gushing over how much they’d like to be Jeon Jungkook, gushing about any of his friends. And the girls think he’s hot (and, okay, so do you). They flirt and tease, show up at his frat; smiling, giggling. They drink, party, fuck around. Come and go. After all, in this generation...

“...having a fuck buddy used to be such a scandalous thing, you know?” your friend says. “But like now, it’s kind of just like ‘oh, you have a fuck buddy? Is he hot? I bet he’s good in bed. That’s so cool.’ It’s kind of like that kinda thing now. Because it’s basically like having a significant other, but with no strings attached.”

You nod and take a sip of your drink. “Yeah. Commitment’s kinda scary, isn’t it? Having to devote so much of your time to just one person--like hell, I don’t even devote that much time to studying so I can graduate!”

Your friend cackles madly and raises her coffee cup in a mock toast. “Preach, oh my god same.” 

You knock your cup against hers and gulp your drink. “Okay, but speaking of classes, I actually should get going. I’ve a presentation later today and I kinda need to prepare. I wrote the entire script last night. And honestly? I’ve been running on some mystery combo of Monster, Red Bull, and who knows what else that my dormie handed me. She’s quiet but super helpful in her own way.”

“Jealous. Mine never leaves the room and is always blasting kpop or something else of the sort. She’s not bad, but I kinda wish I had a dorm mate who would hand me caffeine-packed, heart-attack-inducing energy drinks,” your friend jokes. 

You give her a tight smile. 

“Yeah, alright, fine.” She makes a dismissive gesture. “You going to the ▒▒▒ party tonight?”

“Yeah.” You stand up, gather your things. “D’you know any of the brothers there? I heard it might be a closed party.”

She makes a face. “Really? I was hoping you knew someone.”

“I mean, I do,” you say, slowly. You think of Jungkook, snapback backwards on his head, wearing a tank that shows off his absurdly toned arms. How he holds his cup high up in the air whilst dancing and shoots all the girls smirks and grins. Including you. You’d been avoiding going to the ▒▒▒ house for a while, but the memories seem fresh in your mind--almost tangible. “But I don’t know him well enough. I’d prefer to get turned away than to call him. A pride thing, I guess. We might have to scout out for other open parties just in case, or head to the bars.”

Your friend pouts. “Aw, come on. Well...fine then. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to bring a jacket because you know how gross those places can get, but whatever. Anyways, what’s your deal with him, though? I thought you guys like...were...a thing. A while ago.”

“We had sex once.”

“Yeah. Was it really that bad?”

“Well, let’s just say it was...not the best experience I’ve had in bed.” You’d promised yourself that it wouldn’t happen again because A, he was actually kinda terrible and B, his snobbish compliments to himself-- “God, I’m so hot, feel these abs girl”--during sex became a little annoying. 

You’d thought that someone as good looking as he was would actually know how to seduce someone effectively, but unfortunately all the good looks only made his head big. Freshman you was not that great at choosing who to have sex with, apparently.

“Really? People tell me he’s hot as hell and like, really good.”

You roll your eyes. “Either they were so wasted they didn’t remember anything and just made shit up, or a miracle happened and Jungkook learned how to actually fuck someone right while keeping his narcissistic comments to himself. For the record, I think the first one is a lot more likely.”

Your friend laughs. “Alright, well, get ready to meet him tonight.”

“Ha ha, so excited.” You mutter, taking your leave.

//

Thirty minutes into your class and you’re standing at the front, positioned in front of the podium, with a powerpoint projected behind you.

“Why do people find the ‘bad boy’ trope so appealing? Psychology Today tells us that women may be attracted towards these ‘Dark Triad’--otherwise known as ‘DT’--men due to two factors: sexual selection and sexual conflict,” you say. The next slide has a graph representing a study relating to the theory, which you go on to explain in great detail.

Your gaze flits across the room as you attempt to find a place to focus on: the wall, the chairs, the table, your peer’s faces. Your eyes catch Jungkook’s and he’s smiling wide, a dark grin on his face. It’s probably because he’s enjoying the presentation. A lot. Because it’s about him. And people--especially those like him--love hearing about themselves.

You curse inwardly when you realize that you’re stroking his ego with this presentation. Then again, you figure that there isn’t much more room for his ego to grow any bigger.

“And finally,” you say, moving onto your final slide. “It is important to keep in mind that many of these studies have been conducted with the younger generations, in which short term flings are popular, thus making the concept of play boys even more appealing.”

“Thank you,” your professor says. She jots down something into her notepad and glances around the small, introductory class. “Any questions?”

There are a couple, nothing particularly alarming or that would make you want to shrink in a hole and die because you have no fucking clue what the answer is. Thank god. You catch Jungkook shrugging on his hoodie, the large, lumpy Greek letters flashing under the light of the room. Insufferable.

You think of tonight’s party. You then think of ditching. And then you start to think of your friend’s look of betrayal, jaw hanging open and eyes wide. She’s going to be wearing a cute top and matching skirt. Her makeup’s going to be on point (for once). You feel bad--maybe you shouldn’t ditch, maybe it won’t be all that bad (after all, there were some incredibly hot, decent guys in the frat). 

Jungkook sees you watching and winks.

If it wasn’t for Jungkook and his cocky, fuckboy attitude...

“If that is all, thank you very much,” the professor says. “Next, let’s have Jeong Inseong present…”

//

You pick up the plastic bottle ungraciously, practically dumping the whole thing of cheap vodka into your cup. It’s been a long night. You’ve spent who knows how long on the dance floor, and have managed to finally find your way to the messed up drinks table, somewhat covered in sticky liquid. You tell yourself that it’s all alcohol as you set the half-empty bottle back down, though you know it could very much well be other things. Because you told yourself the sticky shit in the bathroom of your first-ever frat party was alcohol, only to find out that it was actually--

“I had no idea you’d be here.” 

Oh lord, here he is. Jungkook. You roll your eyes and take a sip. 

“Did you have an invite? I heard they were being really strict out there, even to girls. You could’ve told me you wanted to come from the start, you know.”

“It’s fine. Your bouncers started letting in pretty much any girl after 11, anyways. And I only came because of my friend.” Thankfully--or perhaps, unfortunately--the bus had run late, so you and your friend had arrived later than expected. 

“Well, alright then,” he says, running a hand oh-so-casually along your thigh before resting it on your hip. “Also, I didn’t get to tell you this, but that was a nice presentation today.”

You roll your eyes (again) and turn around. “Thanks, Jeon.” 

He smirks. “It had an especially interesting topic. Care to tell me how you came up with it?”

“While reading Pride and Prejudice, actually,” you reply. It’s true, really. You’d been skimming through the book when a question came up in your mind, which was answered by another question, and another and another until finally you ended up with four tabs of cat videos, one tab blaring 2010 pop songs, and another tab containing an old Buzzfeed article about far-fetched reasons as to why narcissism gets you laid.

Jungkook looks slightly taken aback. “Oh? Really? Why were you reading that book?”

“I had to proofread some high schooler’s essay and decided I needed a bit of a refresher to, you know, spot any blatant bullshitting.” You take a sip of your drink and give him a look. “I went from being a comp lit major to a plain old English major since the last time we talked. As a result, I might have to stay an extra semester, so I took up a side job for the extra money.”

“Ah, I see.” He takes another drink from his cup. Even though it’s a plain old, stereotypical red solo cup, the way he sips from it elegantly has you thinking for a brief second that it could be a sophisticated wine glass. It’s kind of a dumb thought so you blame it on the fact that you’re beginning to feel the buzz of alcohol.

“So, Miss ‘plain old’ English major, do you have anything more to say about that presentation? Hm? Maybe something more sexual in nature?”

It’s such a ridiculous way to come onto someone but Jungkook’s a prime example of a person who can bypass all sorts of typically socially awkward situations simply because he looks really attractive. He presses closer to you, and you can’t deny how fucking hot it makes you feel.

“Well, I can tell you that although women may think bad boys and the like are more attractive--comparatively, of course--it doesn’t necessarily mean that they would be more likely to have sex with them.” You bat your lashes at him and feign a bright smile.

He falters slightly but smirks to cover it up. There it is again: getting past the awkward feeling of being sassed with a simple, killer look. “Really? That’s unfortunate.” He leans in close, whispers into your ear. “But maybe we could change up that statistic?”

You make no move to push him off of you as he begins to mouth at the shell of your ear, instead gripping his waist. “Oh please, is this going to be another replay of freshman year? You were a flop back then,” you tease. The way he’s mouthing you right now is making heat pool at the bottom of your stomach. You’re going to make another mistake and you know it, and you’re struggling to decide whether or not you should care.

Jungkook groans. “Freshman year was freshman year. Times have changed. Drastically.”

“What, did you take sex ed? Shit like that doesn’t make you any better at it. Like standardized test prep.” This time, you push him off slightly, enough so you can smirk at his face and throw back your drink. It burns. It’s bitter. But it gives you all the courage you need to face him again. Intoxicated, but not incapacitated. He grips your hips tightly, with both hands, and brings your bodies together again.

“Then let me prove it to you,” he says, and leans to mouth at your neck, your collarbone. “Let me prove it to you that I’ve gotten better.”

If you accept, you’d be conforming right with most of your presentation’s findings, giving into the pride and cockiness and narcissism of Jungkook. And for a second time. And yet, right now, you’ve decided you could care less, as he tilts your chin up to kiss you, hot, wet, sloppy. The alcohol makes you feel loose and frankly you’d like more of it, but maybe not, because, if anything, Jungkook’s more intoxicating.

“Alright, playboy,” you say, reaching to play with the collar of his shirt. “But you better be as good as the rumors say you are.”

He chuckles darkly as he brings you in for another open-mouthed kiss. You trail your lips over his skin and over to his ear--

“Let’s take this into the bedroom, shall we?”

He complies. He always does.

As soon as the door is shut and locked--because nothing’s more embarrassing than being caught having (tipsy) sex by strangers--Jungkook’s mouth is on yours again.

Hot breath, skin to skin; you moan into his mouth. When the two of you break apart there’s a thin trail of saliva that connects your lips, but neither of you could care less, and it’s actually kind of hot…

You grind your hips against him and he groans, pushes you back against the bed, only to struggle with taking off his pants. You giggle, reaching over to help unbuckle his belt, slide his jeans off. Tease with the hem of his boxers. Slide them down, casually, sensually.

“You’re such a tease,” he murmurs, taking off your bra, throwing it aside. You run a thumb over his collarbone as you lay on the mattress in your panties, and your panties only.

“Oh, I’m the tease? You--ah--”

Jungkook’s roughly shoved a finger inside of you, working it in and out. He chuckles darkly and lifts your hips up slightly, sliding your underwear down your legs and tossing it aside. He returns to his ministrations, now using two fingers and making scissoring motions. You moan.

“Want me to eat you out?”

“Only if you can make me come.”

You don’t even have to lift your head to know that he’s smirking. “Oh, I can do that plenty of times, in more ways than one if that’s what you want.” Before you can snark back at him, he slides down between your legs and all of a sudden your mind’s whirling, your head a hazy, lusty mess of pleasure. You can feel his tongue working inside of you and holy shit it feels so good, and then he kisses your clit and sucks it, roughly. You moan.

“You like that, huh, princess?” He licks at your clit as he shoves his fingers back inside you once more, curling his digits and pumping them in and out. You can’t reply, too breathless for words, as you feel the heat burning and twisting and curling and then there’s this overwhelming sense of pleasure that floods your mind as you orgasm, convulsing around his fingers.

He licks you one last time and pulls himself up to you. His mouth glistens obscenely. Panting, you catch your breath.

“Good boy,” you say, voice a bit hoarse. You sit up and smirk. “Now, my turn.”

He grins. “Does this mean--” he strokes his length and you bite your lip as you take in sight the thick girth of his cock, the precome leaking from the head “--you’d like to suck me off?”

“No,” you reply, crawling over to him. You push him onto the sheets and straddle him. “I’m going to ride you.”

“Oh? For some reason I--”

“Shut it, playboy,” you say, hands splayed across his toned chest, and grind teasingly against the tip of his cock. Jungkook groans and presses his head against the pillow. “Less talking, more fucking, yeah?”

“F-uck,” he bites. He brings his hands to your hips, fingers sliding against sweaty skin. Deftly, you push his hands aside and roll your hips, earning another moan. “Ready, Kookie?”

And Jungkook relents, he gives in, resolve crumbling to nothing. He lets you ride him. You, sinking slowly down onto his length, muscles tightening around him. You, letting out sweet, satisfied moans as you adjust around him and then rub at your own nipples. He bucks his hips up involuntarily at the sight, so turned on and overly eager to get his release.

As you pick up the pace--breasts bouncing, movements getting erratic--Jungkook attempts to match it, bringing his hips upwards in motion with yours. As he senses you nearing your edge, he reaches slightly to rub at your clit roughly.

You squeak in surprise at first and the moan, pressing your hands firmly against his chest. “Jungkook...are you close yet?”

He grunts in response. God, he’s close. He’s right at the edge and it feels so fucking great…

“Cum inside of me if you are. Now.”

He doesn’t need anymore prompting before he releases, riding out the orgasm in rhythm to your hips. You cum soon enough, shuddering slightly and muscles squeezing tightly against his cock. Jungkook continues to rub at your clit to help prolong the orgasm.

“F--uck.”

With all the grace you can muster, you tumble off of him, your tipsy, fucked-out mind still buzzing with the warmth of all the pleasure. Jungkook grunts as he wraps an arm around you and tugs the covers up. You whine.

“Kook, I’m hot.”

“I know,” he says. He nips at your ear and you roll your eyes.

“I meant temperature wise.”

“You’ll be fine.” He doesn’t let go, and lets himself easily drift off into sleep. You snort and follow suit.

//

Skin feeling slightly sticky, throat dry, mind hazy, you fumble around in the sheets and groan upon seeing Jungkook’s sleeping face. Right in front of you, mere centimeters away. He lets out a puff of breath from his nostrils and it’s so utterly adorable it kinda makes you mad. You resist the urge to flick his forehead.

He hisses and immediately moves to cover his forehead. Impulse control is poor. Too bad for him that you don’t regret it, though. Probably wouldn’t ever. “Wha’ wassat fer?” he mumbles, voice thick with sleep. You retract your hand and shrug, propping yourself up on the pillow.

“Dunno. Good morning to you, sleeping beauty.” You hop out of the bed and stumble over to where your clothes are, a crumpled mess, flung about the room. One by one you pick them up whilst running a hand through your hair. It’s probably mess right now, just like you. And not a hot one, either.

“That’s right,” Jungkook says, flopping onto his side. “I’m the most beautiful man there is.”

You roll your eyes as you tug on your panties, clip your bra on. “That was sarcasm, dumbass.”

“No, it was the truth,” he murmurs into the pillow. He then turns his head to the side and manages to open his eyes, blinking them slowly as he watches you dress. You snort.

“Yeah right.”

He makes a whining noise and scrunches his nose in an adorable way. Runs a hand through his bedhead--now that’s a hot mess. You turn away to shrug your shirt on. 

“We should continue this.”

You turn and give him a disbelieving look. 

“I’m serious,” he says, propping himself up on the bed. The cover slides down his body, revealing his toned abdomen. “That was literally the best sex I’ve had in so long.”

“And what makes you think that was the best sex for me?” The emphasis on me comes mostly from the added grunt as you attempt to tug your pants up your kind of damp, alcohol-reeking, (frankly) not exactly appealing body (at least, at the moment).

“I--” he stops and turns his head away, embarrassed.

You laugh. “You’ve improved, Jeon.”

He looks at you shyly now. “Thanks? Uh, so…?”

You shrug. “If it’s just sex, that’s fine with me.” You look at him. “After all, commitment’s kinda scary.”

He looks happy, stares at you kind of mindlessly. A bit offsetting but nothing you can’t get used to. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Commitment’s kinda scary.”

a/n: oops i accidentally deleted the content of this fic when i was revamping my blog, so i re-filled it all in with an older version i had, which i edited. i couldn’t find the old gif so i left things as is!! oops