#honestly this could be any of odin's ships

[alldaddy]

@redhead-reporter / @redemptioninterlude / @aquariusvibes

[fluffyfantasticducky]

Mistakes and regrets

☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.

☆ Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.

☆ Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.

☆ Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.

“You’re not making it any for me brother.” Thor spoke through the glass.

“I want my freedom, brother.” Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. “Don’t think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I can’t exactly call this a life.”

“Director Fury insisted, I’ve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earth– uh, Midgard.”

“You've surely adapted well to living here” Loki rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Cooperate with me, I brother” Thor begged. “I want to help you, but I need you to help me first.”

“I’m not sure what I am expected to do from here” Loki huffed annoyed.

Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldn’t blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes… Sure he wouldn’t be all jokes and laughs.

“I’ve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedom” Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. “It’d be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. You’d have to wear cuffs or a while, but you’d be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.”

“Hooray…” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Please brother, I’m trying, I just need you to be patient.” Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. “I hate this as much as you do.”

“Do you?” Loki said. “As far as I know, you’re not the one in a crystal cell.”

“Alright, almost as much as you do.” Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.

He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.

Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanos’ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling… And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.

When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.

“Thor!” Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.

“Valkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!” Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.

“Thor you have to come quick!” Valkyrie urged him. “It’s Loki!”

Thor’s heart sank, his heart couldn’t stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents… he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.

“Please… not now… Let’s treat the wounded ones first…” Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. “I want to focus on saving lives first.”

“Thor, you don’t get it! He’s alive!” Valkyrie scolded him. “But he’s in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.”

A tear streamed down the new king’s face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didn’t lose Loki.

“Take me to him!” Thor urged them.

Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.

“Brother!” Thor said. “Oh Gods… You’re alive…”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily thunder brain… ugh…!” Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.

It was a miracle Loki hadn’t died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.

“We couldn’t abandon him” one of the healers spoke politely to her king. “After all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.”

“It’s no problem at all” Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. “Thank you for saving my brother’s life.”

The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.

The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thor’s blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.

They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.

Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened… he’d have two.

He couldn’t say Thor didn’t do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Loki’s immediate liberation.

“I demand my brother is released immediately!” Thor yelled.

“You should consider yourself grateful we’re allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!”

“Don’t you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people would’ve died if it wasn’t for him!”

Loki wasn’t sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.

It did stroke his ego being called “Asgard’s hero” in the middle of the yelling. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldn’t complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.

The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.

Soon he got better, he but wasn’t allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.

And when things couldn’t get worse… he met you.

“It’s lunch time” a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him… Tried.

“Tough crowd, eh?”

Loki couldn’t not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldn’t decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgard’s terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldn’t be much older than the girl Barton took as his protégée.

“What’s on the menu today?” Loki asked in a more formal tone.

“Why the hurry?” you asked, “don’t tell me you got somewhere else to be.”

“You think you are a lot funnier than you really are” Loki rolled his eyes. “And it’s not very nice to make fun of someone’s disgrace.”

“I hear you think I’m at least a little bit funny” you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.

“Please don’t drop my food, I’d like to have at least something to eat” he rolled his eyes.

You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.

“Alright, alright, I’m impressed” Loki groaned. “Can I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?”

“Why are you so moody?” you asked. “More than usual, I mean.”

“I’m starving, and you humans eat way too little” Loki finally admitted. “But that is still better than nothing… Please.”

You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were eating so little.” You admitted.

“I barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.” Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didn’t seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.

You weirded him out.

You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.

And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.

“What now?” he groaned.

You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.

“Bur…ger? What this?” he asked as he read the yellow letters.

“It’s food” you smiled. “Cafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.”

“This looks like junk” he snarled, making you laugh.

“It’s something like that.”

Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.

“There’s no fork.”

“You eat it with your hands” you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. “Like a sandwich.”

“What’s a sandwich?” Loki asked, making you laugh again.

Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.

“Unwrap it first!” you laughed. “The white thing paper is not edible.”

Usually Loki would’ve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.

“The taste is agreeable enough.”

“Try the fries!” you said eagerly.

“These yellow sticks?” he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.

“Yes, the yellow sticks, they’re potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook them” you smiled.

“That sounds unhealthy” he said, but he surely didn’t pass up the extra meal, and while he’d never admit it, but it was tasty.

“It is on the long run” you agreed. “But you don’t eat these every day. It’s more like… something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.”

“What’s on your bag?” Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.

“Ah, you said you didn’t have much to do” you said and passed him bag. “It’s a portable DVD player and old movies.”

“I understood the word portable from that whole sentence” Loki said in an obvious tone.

He wasn’t new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.

“You can watch recorded over produced plays on the screen” you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. “Fury said you can’t have access to internet, so I thought since I don’t use this anymore it’d keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.”

Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now he’d finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Loki asked.

“I don’t know” you shrugged. “You seem like you could use some kindness.”

“I’m a charity case?” Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.

“You wish. If I was charitable, I would’ve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and you’re a good junkyard to bring my old stuff” you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.

Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.

Now that… Loki didn’t see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.

Interesting.

The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.

So, you did fancy him… Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.

“I watched one of your… Dee Bee Dees…” Loki started the conversation while he ate. “The one with the funny doctor…”

“That… doesn’t narrow it down much” you finally spoke. “Sarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?”

“He is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entrance” Loki specified. “It was a sweet story… I did feel bad for him when he lost his… you know.”

“Ah, yeah…” you said sadly.

For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.

When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.

While Loki wasn’t as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.

And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.

Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didn’t have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.

You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner he’d be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.

Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.

“I had been dreaming of this…” you spoke softly. “And your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.”

That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?

“Alright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?” Tony warned him.

You wrapped your arms around Loki’s bicep pressing yourself against him.

“He’s gonna be perfect” you defended him. “And if I’m wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.”

Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?

Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed… until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.

Your bed the one right above Loki’s. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.

“Yes?” Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.

“S-Sorry…” you mumbled as your cheeks got red. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

“Aww, young love…” Kate cooed.

“SHUT UP! I’M OLDER THAN YOU!” you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.

“You’re both babies…” Yelena grinned.

“Shut up, you hag!” you and Kate argued.

“You’re all babies…” Bucky corrected.

“DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!” the three of you argued.

“I’m… not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years old” Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.

Meanwhile Loki wouldn’t stop thinking what you said to him. “I’m happy you’re here.” Third stab… How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?

The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?

You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.

Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasn’t used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.

“Take that!” you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.

Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Loki’s arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.

Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadn’t). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.

Oh, of course you were ticklish, he should’ve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed “tickle me!” And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.

Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.

“H-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!” you begged Loki, “thahahahahat tickles!”

“So? I hope it doesn’t bother you, my dear” Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. “I think I’d like to play with my pretty little toy some more…”

“Nohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!” you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.

Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.

“I’m nostalgic” Thor laughed. “Reminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.”

“I wouldn’t know, I was never invited.” Loki said.

“WHAT?!” you gasped and threw a pillow at Thor’s head in Loki’s defense. “JERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked. “You rejected us every time.”

“What are you talking about? You never invited me, brother” Loki explained. “By the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.”

“Sif and the guys always said you said no” Thor said. “That’s why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.”

Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Loki’s exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thor’s friends, not Loki’s.

“I enjoy time to myself,” Loki agreed. “But I’ve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didn’t want me near your friends…”

“Of course not, brother…”

“Don’t feel bad, Loki” Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. “Nat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But we’re sisters, adopted or not.”

“I said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!” Natasha argued with a laugh.

You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.

It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.

“You poof around when tickled, hm?” Loki chuckled. “Noted.”

“Not just when I’m tickled, when I get worked up by almost anything…” you explained. “I can’t always control it.”

“I see… so, I get you all worked up…” Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. “Heh… I’m flattered.”

“What about you?” you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Does something like that happen to you?”

“Mmm… my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when I’m pissed off.” Loki shrugged. “In a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery… he couldn’t ever keep calm and focus enough.”

It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thing…

Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.

“When I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell… it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams… And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. It’s… what’s the word? Automatic, at this point.”

“You haven’t used it since we met” you pointed out.

“There’s these preventing that” Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. “Maybe one day I’ll have you sleep visiting… who knows…”

You smiled too eagerly at the idea… it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.

The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Loki’s bed. Surprisingly he didn’t mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.

But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that should’ve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.

“I didn’t know… I thought I was the only one with one of these…” Loki pointed to his tracker.

“All mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have one” Tony explained with a yawn. “Basically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.”

“Or locked up” Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.

“You’re gonna be joining us, right, brother?” Thor smiled.

“Do I have a choice?”

Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.

But what about you? You didn’t strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldn’t picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.

“Has my darling decided yet?” Loki asked, he didn’t plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.

“Not before meeting you, we had tried, but I’d say with you two together… things have changed for the better.” Steve assured him. “It’s a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.”

For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.

“It’s gonna be for the best” Bruce smiled. “Fury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isn’t for everyone…”

Loki couldn’t see you long term here, you’d be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didn’t even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger… at least that’d give you some more freedom.

By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed… and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phone’s flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Loki’s bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.

“Let me stay with you…” you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.

Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah… Of course.

He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.

“Nooo… thahahat tickles…” you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. “You can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay baby…?”

“Ohoho! Is that so?” Loki chuckled. “That’s dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief don’t you think?”

“’s okay… I trust you…” you yawned snuggling against his chest.

“Y-You do…?”

“You’d never do anything to hurt me…” you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all it’s might to not succumb to exhaustion.

Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadn’t been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.

“I love you” you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.

“I… I love you too…” he whispered and kissed the top of your head.

Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.

The next morning was the last time he’d be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.

A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.

Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.

It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.

Adorable.

“Honey bunny, I’m gonna go to the city alone today… don’t follow me” you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. “And don’t snoop around my stuff! Love ya!”

And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but… he couldn’t resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasn’t smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki would’ve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.

“Loki!” you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.

You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.

“I missed you!” you smiled between kisses.

“You just left an hour or so…” he chuckled.

“It’s still too much time away from you!” you snuggled with him. “I missed this pretty face.”

“Heh…” he chuckled.

“I bought us something.” You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. “It’s a distance touch bracelet.”

You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldn’t have been cheap. And you still didn’t hesitate to get it for him.

“Now you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we can’t be with each other.” You giggled.

His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.

“Thank you…” he smiled.

Days passed and Loki’s sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.

You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it… And it filled his heart with a warmth he didn’t deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.

He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didn’t want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.

He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.

He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.

“No way! You’re ticklish?!” you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.

“Terribly so, I can’t stand being ticked in between my ribs” he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. “My magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.”

“Really?” you giggled and caressed his sides. “Can I try?”

“For a kiss…” he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. “I adore you… Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.”

“Just one minute?” you whined with that lovely smile of yours.

“Thirty seconds?” he smiled.

“Eh?!” you whined. “One minute!”

“See how convincing I am?” he grinned.

“Oh, you—” you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Ack! Hehehehe!” he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. “S-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-It’s been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!”

“I’m not done with you, you pretty tease!” you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.

“Oh yeheheah?!” he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.

You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didn’t stop tickling him.

“Hehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!” you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.

“You give up! Hahahahaha!” he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.

“Ack! Noohohohoho!” you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.

“You’re in trouble…” he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didn’t matter if you gave up. He didn’t stop until you were breathless.

Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.

“Remind me to not tickle you again, you’re sadistic” you smiled.

“You know it, darling…” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Did you have fun?”

“Mhm…” you smiled and leaned against him. “I love you.”

You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldn’t deny his feelings for you.

He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.

He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.

“You’re awake,” you surprised him despite your gentle tone. “Is something bothering you?”

“N-No, love. I just wasn’t feeling very tired.” He assured you. “Don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”

You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniff—probably smelling his bad breath—you stopped and smiled at him with kindness.

“Mmm… Insomnia, hm?” you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. “I know just the cure.”

You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his face.

“I’ve done so many awful things… And…” he spoke softly. “I don’t know how to fix them… I don’t deserve any forgiveness…”

“Oh Loki…” you hugged him. “No one blames you… you didn’t mean it… I’ve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world… Gosh, if I could take all the pain, you’re feeling for myself, I would.”

“Please don’t say that…” he begged. He couldn’t handle anymore guilt, but he didn’t know how to tell you the truth.

You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.

“Forgive me love... Please forgive me…” he begged between mutters. “I take it all back… please… Please don’t hate me… please…”

“Shh…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all gonna be okay… I’m always gonna be here for you.”

               Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch… his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.

Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.

“Monster…” a voice echoed so loudly it made Loki’s ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.

“Traitorous rat…”

“Murderer…”

“Beast…”

“Liar…”

“Frost giant…”

“Monster…”

“Manipulator…”

“Liar…”

“We finally had someone’s trust…”

“Of course, you just play around with others!”

Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.

Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.

“Loki…?” a different voice called. “Is this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?”

No please… you couldn’t be here.

“Darling… wake up… please don’t be here…” Loki begged you. “Please…”

“I’m not leaving you here on your own…” you spoke and kneeled beside him.

Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.

“Loki… what’s going on?! What’s happening to you?!”

Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didn’t obey him… but…

“Please… leave me here…” he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.

“Don’t say that... What’s… what can I do for you?”

There was something about dreams, and especially Loki’s dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.

Loki’s body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.

“STOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”

“What?!”

What?! No! That wasn’t true…

Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.

“I DON’T LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!”

“No… no, you're not… You wouldn’t…”

“I JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! I’V BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DON’T YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOU’RE PATHETIC!”

The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.

“I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CAN’T SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!”

You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collar’s shirt.

“GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!” Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.

“NO!” Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. “Love?! Thank goodness… I’m so— Love, w-what’s wrong…?”

You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.

“My love… and what’s wrong?” Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.

“Why did you say that?” you asked him.

“I d-don’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Loki stuttered. “My dreams are like that…”

“No. I mean, what you said was really specific. Why…?”

“I don’t—I don’t know why I—”

“Tell me the truth, Loki.” You ordered him. “Did you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?”

Loki stayed quiet. He didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didn’t have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.

“Y-Yes but I—that was before…”

“Get out…” you spoke.

“What? No, darling, listen… I…”

“I don’t want to hear you.”

“Please love… let me explain…” he tried holding you.

That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.

“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TALK TO ME!”

“Darling please…”

“I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!”

He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.

There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.

The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And… the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didn’t feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.

A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didn’t happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this… disappointment in his eyes.

“I hate dealing with moving companies” Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. “But Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. It’s a shame… The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.”

“Tell me about it” Clint sighed. “Kate is devastated.”

“Speaking of devastated…” Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki would’ve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. “See if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.”

You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever… than being around him?

This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that they’d never open again.

“Am I cursed?” Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.

“No.” Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.

Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.

“Then what am I?” Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.

“You're my son.” Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.

Clearly that was a lie. So why didn’t his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.

“What more than that?” Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. “The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”

Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.

“No.” Odin finally said. “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring— abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.”

That felt like a dagger piercing the young prince’s heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he could’ve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotun’s in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he could’ve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didn’t want him… and his adopted family never told him any of this.

“Laufey's son...?” Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. “Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”

“You were an innocent child.” Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.

“No!” Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. “You took me for a purpose, what was it?”

But Odin didn’t answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now… having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.

The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.

“TELL ME!” Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.” Odin confessed.

That was the final blow to Loki’s poor heart.

“What…?”

A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.

“But those plans no longer matter.” Odin clarified.

“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up… here, until you might have use of me.” Loki inquired in pain.

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked softly.

“You could have told me what I was from the beginning.” Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. “Why didn't you?!”

“You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor child’s heart.

“Wh— B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!” Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.

“Don't...” Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.

But Loki couldn’t listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didn’t allow him to trust Odin anymore.

“It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.” Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. “Because no matter how much you claim to “love” me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”

Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness… anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.

Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasn’t any less real.

He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.

“Troubled, my son?” a voice spoke making Loki sit up.

“Father” Loki smiled softly. “I ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life… and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.”

“That sounds familiar” Odin chuckled. “You truly are my son, after all.”

“You had always been will always be my father…” Loki said the words he had denied for several years. “I never understand your reasons. Cruel as they were…”

“Not holding back against your old father, hm?” Odin laughed.

“Sorry…” Loki smiled softly.

“My original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully… but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realms” he spoke. “But that didn’t mean the love I had for you wasn’t any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.”

Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasn’t because he didn’t feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.

“That’s why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.” Odin spoke. “In my heart, you’ve always been my son.”

“I know, father” Loki smiled. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it.”

“I’m sorry I never told you before… I feared you wouldn’t take it well…”

“Me? I would never” Loki joked softly.

“We always loved you as our own” a female voice added making Loki turned around.

“Mother.” Loki spoke breathless. “I know… I know… I knew, I was just too scared I could’ve been wrong, and you didn’t…”

“You were too much of a charming kid not to love you” Frigga said compassionately. “Your little human surely thinks so too.”

Ah… that… Loki wasn’t so sure.

“I ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust I’ve earned from my darling.” Loki huffed out. “I manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.”

“Dear, there’s nothing final in these matters…” Frigga smiled softly. “If that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first… you need to apologize.”

“I don’t think I’m wanted anywhere near hearing range.” Loki explained.

“Do you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?” Odin smiled.

“Your father was too temperamental for that” Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. “But when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.”

Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odin’s temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husband’s temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.

Loki chuckled softly.

“Thanks…” he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. “I know what I have to do.”

Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Frigga’s, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Loki’s palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.

His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And… you deserved that at least.

He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first “dates” you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.

On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he could’ve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.

His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns… He had hurt you really bad.

“Love… Please… let me explain” Loki spoke softly.

“What do you need to explain, Loki?” you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. “That I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so you’d be a free man? I got that quite clearly.”

You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bed’s decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.

“What do you want, Loki?” you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.

“My darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realms” he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.

“It is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earth” he spoke. “It was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine… But I did it. It was heartless and there’s no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here… never speak to me again if you need, but don’t settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you don’t see the likes of me again…”

He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.

He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.

“You offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadn’t enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of me…” Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. “And all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.”

He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like he’d die without you. And he’ deserve it.

“I don’t care” you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. “You’re the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted… I should’ve expected I’d be just that.”

“No— No, darling!” Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. “No, my sweet, you— I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes I’ve now so cruelly filled with tears…” Loki spoke softly.

You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.

“None of what you heard that night was true in my heart…” he assured you “I never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside… knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.”

He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.

“I was selfish and a liar. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.” He spoke. “I fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.”

You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid you’d disappear if he let go of you.

You forgave him. He didn’t think he’d ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go… He couldn’t undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.

“Thank you… Norns, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.

You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.

“You’re gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you booger” you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.

“I’ll give you the entire world if you so desire, my love” he spoke with a gentle smile. “Just say the word.”

“I don’t need the world” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I’m a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.”

You held him tightly in a hug… in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.

“Did you think I was annoying when we first met?” you asked with a stern look on your face. “I want the truth.”

“Truthfully… you were a nightmare…” Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.

“HEY!” you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. “I said honest, not mean!”

“Ehehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!” he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. “P-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!”

You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.

“Plehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!” he laughed and did his best to not squirm.

“Fine… what is it?” you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.

Thank whatever superior force that was out there… Oh, you’re a wonderful blessing.

“You’re a nightmare turned into a dream” he clarified and he didn’t even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.

“You have 3 seconds to explain how that’s a compliment o I’ll tickle you until you puncture a lung.”

“Ihihi— I mean like, when you start having a bad dream… but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.” Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didn’t make any sense.

But that was enough for you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled.

“C’mon… don’t be mad at me for being foolish and wrong” he smiled as he squeezed you tight. “Surely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, we’re so different after all.”

You smiled and shook your head.

“I love my pretty prince” you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. “Flaws, differences, and all.”

“Do you, now?” he grinned cheekily. “I sure am a lucky one to be called yours.”

“A Loki one” you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. “Sorry! I thought it too late when I said it and— hehehe!”

“Oh, that was awful— C’mere… you!”

“W-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!”

As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldn’t doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.

| MASTERPOST |

[piffany666]

What you favourite gba character says about you! (Based on the Eldena doubleca5t series on YouTube)

(This is a joke please do not take any of this personally)

Loyal: your probably either a black butler fan or an angle beats fan

Servos: you had a crush on Marshalllee from adventure time

Yargwin: at some point in your life you've probably been obsessed with either Jack sparrow or Captin hook from Once upon a time. That being said you do have good taste

Kalomos: you just wanted good things for kalomos and really....who wouldn't?

Lry: you need everyone in this series to just chill the f*k out for like 5 minutes

Vail: your favourite trope is a character being blissfully unaware of how powerful they are

Raspa: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of a mad scientist

Mortals: you have some....complicated feelings about episode 3 of space pirates

Vision: your childhood crush was garnett from steven universe

Heartburn: you still don't know the answer to the mystery of 1. Why did yargwin tell him that "him and Arkov aren't married" and 2. Why heartburn is even here but the difference is that your not mad about the second one

Kaunda: your either a lesbian or a liar

Banar: you really like full metal alchemist

The butterfly king: your OTP is fizz x Ozzmodius from hellova boss

Albus: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of "I can fix him" but you will inevitably realise that you can't and then promptly exept him as he is

Devlin: your probably autistic and the quickest way to your heart is somebody showing even the slitest amount of intrest In YOUR special interest

Odin: you really like God of war

Odysseus: you understand the significance of Odin calling him that...also you probably really like "epic the musical"

Tyr: you really like lore olympus

Fenrir: you are a furry that or your just a redacted fan

Okami: you were the f*kers who kept spaming "okami did nothing wrong" in that one live stream

Makkaro: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of "a hero will sacrifice you to save the world but a villan will sacrifice the world to save you"

Zed: I want to use the joke used by the person this post was inspired by and say that you like "men👏 getting 👏pegged!" But honestly if your favourite character is zed you probably just really like the owl house

Mirrin: when zed asked the guardian if they used to be lovers you got your hopes up way to quickly

Frank: you had a crush on Billy butcherson from hocus pocus

Hipswich: you believe in the inherent eroticism of the song "good lookin"

Mahatma/atila: this is just the same joke as raspa but like even more so

Huginn: your favourite ship dynamic is "neurodivergent character rambling" x "could listen to them talk forever"

Muninn: your favourite asmr trope is reverse comfort

[angelosearch]

Tag game for fanfiction authors!

This one has been in my drafts for a while, I forgot where I got it from oops!! Tagging @tr1ck5 @suleikashideaway @gardengalwrites @aleheartilly @mathiwrites @waltzforthemoon @summonerluna and anyone who wants to join in!

Tell us:

The story you're proudest of: It's got to be Eyes of the Storm. It's a FFVIII AU but honestly, I don't think you need to know FFVIII at all to read it. It's magical realism with a lot of focus on place and nature and that's the kind of stuff I've wanted to write in long form for my whole life. I am so proud of it I kind of want to shake everyone I know and get them to read it.

Your story that's gotten the most love online: TECHNICALLY, Chaos Theory, but that's only because I've been posting it for a while and it's 21 chapters. In terms of Kudos per hits, I'd have to go with Silver Anniversary.

Tease a current WIP or idea you're working on: I'll give you two! First, a bit from A New Beginning's sequel (The Sorceress Awakens). This is from chapter one of three, "The Commander Dreams Again."

Squall nodded as though he’d been dismissed and started walking toward the door. “Hey wait son—I MEAN, son-dier! SOLDIER! No, Commander, Commander Squall? SQUAMMANDER—” “What, Laguna?” “Uh.. I just, uh…” Shit shit shit! He already looks annoyed! Gotta change the subject! “Uhh, what’s Rinoa up to these days? I’m surprised you didn’t bring her with you!” Perfect save, hell yeah! Squall looked away, and then to the floor. “She’s just busy, she couldn’t come.” And before Laguna could ask any further, Squall stepped out of his office.

And then a bit from the next chapter of Chaos Theory, "Part IV: The Edge of Chaos | Suspended Animation"

But there was another face there beyond his own. He could see his father’s features across the terrain of his countenance, filling him with a tightening ball of emotions too complex to name, nonetheless untangle.   Most people told him he, luckily, resembled his mother, but Laguna was there, hiding along his brow bone and around his jawline. His reflection reminded him that he had been behind that man’s face, felt the things he felt, thought the things he thought, and it made it worse to realize how much he and Laguna had in common. It had been simpler to just see Laguna as a man that lived up to the shoddy expectations of the people of Winhill, as a guy who pushed him away and let him down intentionally, and hate him for it. Now an entirely different picture had been painted for Squall, and it was hard to reconcile his long-held beliefs and tinted experiences against the formerly unseen reality.

Also, I have this project I've got bouncing around in my head called "Odine Asylum" which hopefully I'll try to put on a page soon.

Your top 3 fandoms: Final Fantasy VIII, Hazbin Hotel, The Locked Tomb!

Your top 3 ships: Squall x Rinoa (FFVIII), Trevor x Sypha X Alucard (Castlevania), Thrawn x Eli (Star Wars Thrawn novels)

Rec someone else's fic: UGH this is SO HARD so I am just going to go with the fic I've read most recently (there were moments that had me cracking up): Dirty Boots.

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst (but why not both?)

Oneshots or longfics

Canon compliance or canon divergence

AO3 or FF.net

[buffyfan145]

I'm so happy with that season 2 finale of "Loki" and that he's fully become the God of Stories!!! 😀 He's now in charge of the entire MCU and all the multiverse. It's been so amazing to watch this journey of his and going from being a "villain" to getting the full redemption arc and now being the most powerful being in all of Marvel. He found his true purpose and I'm so proud of him like his parents would be and Thor will be when he finds out. I know a lot of fans were worried last night this is his final appearance but I actually think it's the opposite. He's actually probably going to become the new Stan Lee as he'll be able to be in any MCU project from now on as we lead up to the "Secret Wars" movie that's about a multiverse war.

Years ago there was a theory that Stan Lee was going to be revealed as the Creator/Author (or basically God) of the MCU and in charge of everything. Now Loki is this. It makes sense for the projects we know are coming and he's not stuck there alone. He's connected to everything and everyone in every universe. He should be able to travel too as that never stopped Odin or Zeus, or even Freya who is in charge of the threads of fate in Norse mythology. Even for us shippers of any ship with him this won't prevent him from being with anyone if he chooses (again look at Odin and Zeus LOL).

I love that it's the World Tree where Loki's throne is. The World Tree connects all the realms/universes together, there are creatures that live inside it including a dragon, and you can travel it to get to the other realms/universes so that's likely how we'll see the MCU characters interact with other Marvel characters/actors from Sony's "Spiderman" films or Fox's "X-Men".

I'm seeing others think too Loki will also be like Nick Fury now too and recruit heroes to help him save the multiverse. Plus, the "Loki" producers are still saying they could get a 3rd season and they have plans for it, Loki is rumored to be in "Thor 5" which is supposed to feature Zeus and Hercules too as the Marvel producers have said the brothers will reunite, and him being in the movies as we head to "Secret Wars". Plus, The Telegraph just posted an article about how their journalist is upset it looks like Tom Hiddleston will be playing Loki from years to come (which honestly I'm happy about). LOL

So we got so much more to look forward to and Tom's getting interviewed tonight on "The Tonight Show" with Brie Larson so we might get more news soon. But going back to Loki being the God of Stories now and in the World Tree, this made me realize how I got my Loki Hallmark Christmas ornament last year and put him in my Christmas tree last year for the first time and will be putting the tree up again in a few weeks, and that it means more to me as I also found my true purpose being a writer/author and how I always deeply connected with Loki since I saw the first "Thor" film all those years ago. 🥰 🌲

[where-theres-smoak-2]

You still have to admire how crazy some pro Lokius are... I'm still stunned.

https://www.tumblr.com/darklinaforever/734355929616842752/everybody-lies

I do think they are living a bit in denial but I wish I could say this surprises me, but its not new, they've always taken sylki moments and tried to warp them into being l*kius moments. The 'its about who scene' although it is about the whole gang collectively it was confirmed that Sylvie was the last trigger that helped him control his time-slipping, when asked very explicitly if that line was about a specific person or the group as a whole the response the head writer said was it was both, meaning it was specifically directed and about Sylvie but also encompassed the rest of the group who were his found family, so you could argue that scene is a sylki scene but they always use it as 'proof' that L*kius is canon. Other scenes they use in this way are the 'for you' scene which as many have pointed out is a throwback to thor when he said the same thing. Again others have pointed this out but the structure of the original line was the 'for you' was directed at a singular person, his father, the 'for all of us' was to include thor and the people of asgard. Seeing as this line is a mirror of the original it makes sense that the 'for you' is directed at a singular person. It also makes sense with everything we've seen in the show, the fact that its the canon ship, that this 'for you' is directed at Sylvie. Especially as the line just before it is him saying 'I know what I want, I know what kind of god I need to be' which are continuations of conversations Loki had with Sylvie alone, the one in the bar where she asks him what he wants, and the one where he visits her to tell her about the loom being a failsafe and him possibly having to kill her and she says he'd be taking everyone's free will from them and asks him if that is the kind of god he wants to be. I'm not going to say this line is one hundred percent definitely directed at Sylvie alone, we'd need confirmation from a writer, producer or tom who improvised the line, for that. But logic tells me its most likely directed at her. But again any time a sylki makes a post about that scene you'll have l*kius shippers jumping in to scream that mobius was there too. Well thor was there too in the original scene but nobody will deny that the 'for you' was directed at only Odin. Sylvie was the more prominent figure in that scene, she was (literally) front and centre.

Then there is the scene you've mentioned here, with that final look loki gives over his shoulder, which honestly that look gave me goosebumbs. But as you pointed out Sylvie was the one they focus on the most in this moment, her reaction. But they edited her out completely in that gif set, though to be fair to the op of that gif set they have tagged it correctly so its up to them if they want to edit her out, shippers are going to ship. But what I love about that scene was how it parallels the one in 1x5 when they are facing alioth and Loki decides to be the distraction so Sylvie can enchant it, she shakes her head at him the same way because she doesn't want him to sacrifice himself, she doesn't want to lose him but he goes anyway because he knows there is a greater purpose and lives to save. To me the culmination of Loki's arc, of him making this sacrifice, comes back to that line in 1x6, he just wants Sylvie to be ok, this sacrifice is how he ensures that happens.

I'll admit I've never quite seen this amount of denial from a fandom before, like I've seen people ship non canon ships before, I've shipped plenty of non canon ships before myself, but usually the fandom will enjoy the ships scenes and content but still recognise that the ship isn't canon. Having antis try and gaslight me into believing that I misinterpreted the canon ship is also a new experience for me but, all of this being said, if they are keeping it in their own tag and not harassing sylki shippers, then I just leave them to it, if that's what makes them happy, why should I worry about what they ship or post? I find I am happier just enjoying the content from my ship and trying to ignore any negativity, though I appreciate that is sometimes hard to do especially when it features prominently in the main loki tag and some of the takes are, at best, really bizarre or, at worst, very insulting to sylki shippers.

[sieglinde-freud]

For the ask game: Ophelia and Camillia

HELL YEAHH hi stedy :) starting with ophelia

How I feel about this character

shes so cute. obviously super similar to her dad and while i feel like she doesnt do the chuuni thing quite as well, i think its cute that its mostly in an attempt to emulate her father, the bestest guy in the world to her, which differentiates it from odin’s mannerisms that were formed as a coping mechanism. shes just very happy and i love that for her :)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i remember really liking her with hisame at one point? i think i still do but i cannot tell you what their support is about. i forgot entirely. honestly, i need to brush up on the fates second gen because theyre a huge blank spot in my mind 😭 but like, conceptually, i also like her with shiro, caeldori, nina, forrest, and mitama. i just have to actually read those…

My non-romantic OTP for this character

i like her little trio with forrest and nina :) theyre so cute in heirs of fate… i wish we could see more of the second gen dynamic like that. in my head i also like her friendship with soleil, but… in terms of whats given to me in the game… its just… eugh.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i dont think she’s a better unit than odin in conquest. i guess it can depend on who her mom is, but odin is generally going to have much more survivability due to his defense and hp + joining you pretty early, making his role as a nostank reliable and costs zero effort. ophelia takes time, and ideally you want to hold off on getting her for skills/offspring seals. any early game build can be done with nyx or elise, to less potency maybe, but with way less effort especially now that the best way of support grinding (mycastle easy seize) is no longer possible. of course, you can use dlc maps but if you take dlc into account conquest is a whole different game.

One thing I wish had happened

how about something i wish didnt happen? her support with soleil is genuinely one of these most uncomfortable things i have ever read in fire emblem which is saying a lot! because the writing in these games suck! for the most part it is soleil’s problem and not ophelia’s, so maybe i shouldn’t be complaining about it here, but i dunno man. its just… its so bad. i cant even read it in game like it gets a physical reaction out of me and not a positive one.

ok camilla now :)

How I feel about this character

i love her lots :) my savior on conquest and she had the best hair in the game. her supports are… pretty unfortunate most of the time but i think the ones that matter are really good and she’s a really sympathetic character when you get over intelligent systems not trusting in her enough to be popular and slapping the gooner bait “big sister” crap on her

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i really dont have a major preference for her? in game, i usually prefer pairings that give her a kid because 1) woag god stats and 2) her hair color is sooo good i cannot waste it. but in terms of just shipping, shes good with like. everyone. some supports are bad but i can get over most of them if i like the ship as a concept. but off the top of my head i like her with selena, beruka, takumi, saizo, peri, laslow, odin, niles, hinoka, charlotte, arthur, reina, probably more but. yeah shes versatile to me. godmilla

My non-romantic OTP for this character

leo!! all the nohr siblings really but i think camilla and leo specifically are just. they give me lots of brain worms. elise obviously wasnt born yet to exeprience the concubine wars, and as the heir and, iirc, the only legitimate son garon had, xander didn’t really get involved as much either. im sure it affected him, but he wasn’t there actually taking part in it. leo and camilla shoulder a lot for their siblings and i think its very interesting that despite it all, theyre probably the only people that can ever really understand what the other has been through. and i enjoy their supports too, with leo wanting camilla’s attention but not being willing to voice it, and camilla understanding that her smothering would probably just piss him off so she tries to avoid it, until they ultimately find a healthy medium and can start to kind of… work on their relationship with eachother after everything. i love them lots :)

My unpopular opinion about this character

im not sure i have one? i feel like opinions on camilla are so all over the place so its kind of hard to have one thats “unpopular.” but i’ll say that i prefer her in malig knight rather than wyvern lord which is probably the worse play in most scenarios but… oohh hot lady on undead dragon… im very simple.

One thing I wish had happened

more elaboration on her past and her mother and some more story relavance for her. she just kinda… fades into the back after leo and xander come which happens with the other sisters too, but still……

[forsakenprogam]

Frrr i really wonder who he will fignt...?💭💭 Mabye Odin or Abubis....Who knows.

By the way had you ever heard of this simo hayha ship..?👀 SIMO X APOLLO. Is there any other you you like and why ,And your least fav and why?👀

I really love thud x raiden it is so cute!!!!! They are canon lol

But saski x poseidon idk....I get why people ship them...but....poseidon is asshole he treats everyone around him like trash even his own brother Adamas that wanted to simply bond with him ,Instead he end up killing his brother Adamas. HIS OWN BROTHER so sefish of him idc what any poseidon stan say thsts the truth. Only he shows so respect to is Hades but other anybody else ,Yes i'm super happy poseidon got what he dersvesed because he is fucking asshole. Poseidon is evil in his ways.

But not all gods are evil there is few that are not evil at all,Like Hercules, Thor, idk remember more but could be possible that anubis is not evil...he doesn't seem like it...

☆👓-anon.

I honestly think that Simo would fight Odin, like why not? What has Odin’s old ass ever done in this series except sit on his ass while his birds be talking shit?

And i’ve heard of the ship Apollo x Simo. but I never got the hype for it… like why do people even ship them together? Where is the chemistry between them? Who knows… We barely know anything about Simo and Apollo is a playboy who’s kinda fruity.

There’s many ships I’ve liked that aren’t canon. Like Lu Bu x Thor.. I DON’T KNOW WHY I LIKE IT, I’M JUST WEIRD LIKE THAT.😭

Bruh and I’ve seen people ship Okita x Loki. Like HUH?! I literally saw fanart on Pinterest of them kissing and I was traumatized…

Poseidon the type to wish for triple the student debt and double world hunger🙏 We NEED MORE POSEIDON HATE! If Poseidon got no haters, I have died.

I honestly love Hercules, in a platonic way. Like I really wanna be his friend! But I don’t really see Anubis as evil though, he’s just a hyperactive dog that gets crazy a lot. That’s how I see him.

[cursedalthoughts]

PR6 SPECULATIONS - Ironblood

In honor of Mainz (my precious little meowmeow) getting a skin, I've decided that the next nation to get a post is the Ironblood. Honestly I intended to do Eagle Union first lol.

Just like last post: Do not treat any of the following choics as guaranteed. I would not bet money on any of these specific ones getting added as part of PR6 this year, it's just the ships I see as Very LikelyTM.

Also, I will tell you which ones I think could be Priority Research (SSR) or Decisive Research (UR). Because I'm sure we could get another Ironblood DR.

Schröder

Let's begin with a possible DR, Schröder.

She's a large cruiser. Yes. But before you get your pitchforks out, Schröder could be the different large cruiser some of y'all have been wanting to get.

No torpedoes, but scarily good secondary armament (I'm talking as good as Odin in AL, but in the vanguard). Extreme speeds and evasion stats, she's a fast as fuck ship. On top of that, she has somewhat weak armor.

All of this combined would make Schröder a certainly unique shipgirl, vastly different from all the other large cruisers: a somewhat spongy (but not too tanky), super fast fire-setting ship.

Max Immelmann

The second possible DR, Max Immelmann. She's an aircraft carrier with only torpedo bombers and skip bombers, on top of having great armor and secondaries (she's literally an FdG with a runway on top).

Honestly, she's kinda bad in WoWs. She's hyped too much because she's marginally better than Manfred von Richtofen, the other Tier 10 German CV; but that's not saying much.

She would be a bomb spammer for sure.

Anhalt

This monstrosity you see is the German battlecruiser Anhalt. She has 15 305mm guns that are extremely accurate with a respectable 21.1km range, meaning she's a snipper. Her guns don't deal a lot of damage (because they're very low caliber) but she's somewhat agile and fast (not as much as Zieten, which is a mini Rupprecht) so she can get behind cover if needed.

Schultz

The Schultz is an enlarged destroyer - basically a light cruiser cosplaying as a destroyer. Unlike Dido or Atlanta or other ships that straddle the line between DD and CL, the Schultz doesn't fire too much, nor does she fire too fast. She's mediocre.

Her torpedoes hit hard it you can prepare an entire tea party while they reload. She has no hydro, making her instantly weaker than the other German DDs.

Still, she could be an extremely tanky destroyer.

Pommern

You know her by now, probably. The half-sister of FdG, Pommern.

She's one of my favorites. The pinnacle of German battleship gameplay in WoWs - meh caliber (380mm, low for her tier), torpedoes, brilliant secondary guns, terrible stern turret angles, amazing armor that gets negated by her huge superstructure, and hydroacoustic search.

She could be a PR version of FdG that fires torpedoes ala Odin.

Preussen

The last pick for a DR, Preussen.

With a proper build, you could have a Preussen with scary secondaries who also shoots every 21.1 seconds. 21.1 seconds. Tirpitz, a fast firing battleship, reloads every 26.

And with guns as big as Preussen's (457mm), being able to fire every 21.1 seconds means you don't have to worry about accuracy betraying you. By the time the shells arrive at the objective, your next salvo is about to be loaded.

A super-fast firing FdG with overall better stats. To balance her out, she could be greedy - she won't provide any buffs to any Ironblood shipgirl, and needs flagship position to get the most out of her.

[gloriousburden]

exactly. but marvel doesn’t understand that loki quite literally was in no place to have a love interest (the love interest in question literally cannot stand him btw) YET. because their problem is that they see romantic relationships as character development. so since they are lazy, they force it onto every character as quick, and easy “character development” that will save them from actually having to care about those characters, their motives, their pasts, etc..

loki didn’t need a love interest to be a good and beloved character before… why does he need one now? because the loki series writers are lazy, and reused michael waldron’s old, and flawed storyline. as well as them thinking every female character needs to be a romance plot device. black widow clearly getting the worst of it. she had a romantic sub plot with like… every male character in the mcu at the time it was so sick 😭

honestly i don’t think odin (himself) would’ve ever acknowledged how horrible of a “father” he was to loki. he did not care when loki died in thor 2011. and he would’ve had him executed in tdw if it wasn’t for frigga. he only saw loki as a pawn, and although he claimed to love loki, evidently just claiming it wasn’t enough. there are deleted scenes (of course) where frigga does try and defend loki, but they also sort of portray frigga as being shut out by odin. which wouldn’t be surprising. i definitely do wish they got more into the fact that thor belittled loki a lot, and was somehow shocked when loki felt inferior to him. “know your place, brother.”

loki definitely does deserve real friends who genuinely care for him and understand him. i wish that was something he got. for the loki series to really try and force the tva workers who treated loki SO horribly as his actual friends is so, so sick… he was physically and verbally abused by mobius (who the fandom reveres just so they can ship him with loki, and so they can trash on sylvie. which i have absolutely no love for sylvie, but mobius/lokius fans always act as though they are morally superior to sylvie/sylki fans despite the fact that mobius physically and verbally abused loki… they are both trash, is my point.) and sylvie who does not have any love for loki either 😭😭😭😭 not even commenting on the other tva people they’re forcing on him because it’s just so absurd. when have they ever cared about loki..

and obviously the warrior’s three treated him pretty badly too. they would mock and belittle him any chance they got.

as for loki being redeemed/having a redemption arc, it should be something/somewhere he feels he actually belonged. something he did for himself, and not for others/the acknowledgment of others. that he could heal from his various wounds. him finding out he’s a jotun, the battle of new york, frigga’s death, etc… it should be something he isn’t forced into doing, or another “sacrifice.”

this was kind of all over the place. i apologize i had like a thousand thoughts at once.

thank you for your thoughts!

question for any other fans of loki who specifically like the 2011 - 2013 versions of him:

if we did have a loki centered movie/series exploring either loki after the events of tdw, a prequel, or anything else, what would you guys want explored, explained, etc… in it? please add onto this, or even send me an ask! would love to see what you guys would think loki content should’ve consisted of/been about. or even just anything where various questions would’ve been answered. like more about his jotun heritage, his time with thanos between 2011 and 2012, etc..

please rb for reach, truly would love to see what everyone else thinks lol ^_^

loki cat gif bc i can’t get enough of them

[raventao]

Alright, so this is the AU mashup that I had tried to write, based off of a few of @evilwriter37 's AUs that I had read.

I'm not sure it'll be any good. I haven't had much time to write since I had my daughter 3 years ago. (I love her, but she is a walking tornado and requires 100% of my time and energy, so writing has been put on the back burner for now.) And it was written on Google Docs on my phone, so if something looks funky or anything, I'm sorry.

Also, I have never been any good at writing violence of any sort, so the fight scene towards the end was mostly written by my wonderful husband; @aviolentsailor, I just kinda cleaned it up.

____________

So basicslly this is a VigCup red string of fate soulmate AU + Met as kids same (ish) age AU (Viggo being 16 - 23 throughout the story and Hiccup being 13 - 20) + Dragon God Hiccup AU.

_____________

For the longest time Hiccup is just regarded as having exceptional luck. Throughout all of the dragon raids on Berk, he has never once actually been attacked or even accidentally injured. Dragons tended to either ignore him or go out of their way to not hurt him.

At first, Stoick is just glad he's okay when he watches Hiccup casually walk through the burning village and panicking vikings, not even batting an eye, putting out fires when he was 5. By the time he's 10, Stoick is pretty sure Odin himself is protecting his boy, and he's not complaining, Thor knows he needs the help. May the Gods bless whatever poor soul is his son's soulmate too, or he's sure they'll die of heart failure watching him run around with inventions that explode and ignoring dragon attacks as they happen. Or he will if they’re anything like his boy.

By 11, Hiccup wanders around on his own a lot more than Stoick would like, but no matter how many guards he has tail his son, he always manages to lose them and come back late into the evening. Stoick gives up. His boy will obviously find a way to do what he pleases, he might as well accept it. As long as he doesn't see it, maybe he won't worry as much? Nope. Doesn't work. Even Valka is lost when it comes to how to protect their boy from himself.

What Stoick doesn't know is that Hiccup has been sneaking off the island for years with the help of his Nightfury, becoming one with the sky and helping any dragons in need, or accepting offerings made to him in the name of the Dragon God. He hadn't told anyone who he was, hadn't wanted to scare them, especially when Berk was very clearly anti dragon. He wanted to help, but if they were fighting the dragons, then they weren't fighting the other tribes in the archipelago. Dragons hurting his people, he could do something against. Humans, in his weakened mortal state, he could not.

When he was 13 he had been out flying in the early morning mists, having had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. That was when he saw it. A ship. The flag was a dragon run through with a sword; Hunters. It was being bombarded by a horde of angry dragons. Looking closer, it appeared that the whole crew had been taken out. Whether they were all dead or just unconscious Hiccup didn't know, but something told him to check it out. Landing; he easily dismisses the attacking dragons with a wave of his hand.

"Go find some sea dragons to tow the ship back to Berk, Toothless. Around the back of the island. I'll tend to the crew." He says as he sets to work checking the pulse and injuries of each person he could find on the ship. He didn’t know why he was helping them. Honestly, they deserved this for all the dragons they had hurt in the past. But, then again, this was soothing that pit in his stomach, so this must have been what he had been worried about. The question then became; why? As far as he could tell it was a fairly ordinary Hunter ship, if not just a little undermanned.

There seemed to have only been 20 men on the ship, 7 of them had not survived, and Hiccup for some reason hoped they hadn't suffered too much. He dragged the remaining 13 onto the upper deck and set to work bandaging them up with whatever supplies he could find. One member in particular that caught his attention was the youngest member of the crew; he looked to be only a few years older than himself. He seemed to only have superficial wounds, only a few cuts and bruises. Gothi would know more. Perhaps he should have paid more attention when his father had sent him to learn from their healer? He knew enough basic first aid to help himself, but did he know enough to actually help these men?

None of them woke up on the trip back, as quick as it was. He took the time to himself to check the rest of the ship over and make sure that there weren’t any dragons onboard the ship. Just because he was helping them survive, didn’t mean he would let them hurt his children. Once to shore Hiccup leaves Toothless to defend the ship from the shadows as he takes off running back to the village. His father would be mad that he had been so far away, but hopefully the ship of injured men would take precedence. His father might be wary of them at first, but he knew that he was a generally good man. He wouldn’t let them die. Right? Right.

"Dad, there's an emergency!" He calls as he dashes into the great hall, approaching Stoick's throne. He knew there were other people in line to talk to his father that he had just run past, but hopefully they’d understand? "I was out on the far side of the island-" He barely gets that much out before Stoick cuts him off.

"Again? Hiccup, you know I don't like you adventuring so far out there alone! There are wild dragons out there, and wolves! You could get hurt and I'd never know!" Stoick scolds. It takes a lot for Hiccup not to roll his eyes at his father’s worries. He should know by now that no dragons are going to attack him. And if anything else were to try, be it wolf, wild boar, malcontent sheep or angry yak, Toothless would defend him. He was perfectly safe. But, he supposed his dad didn’t really know about Toothless so … it was a moot point.

"I know, but that'll have to wait, a ship of injured men washed up on the beach. I tried to help, but they need more." Hiccup huffs, crossing his arms as Stoick finally lets him talk. At this his father stands quickly and gathers a few of the men that were nearby to come with him to investigate.

"How many?" he asks curtly.

"From what I could see, 13 injured, 7 dead. It looks like their ship was attacked by dragons. There are scorch marks everywhere." Hiccup answers, conveniently leaving out the part about them being dragon hunters and that the attack would have been justified. Stoick sends one man to get more help from the village and another to help Gothi be ready when they return with the men. Some even go down to the docks, grabbing a few fishing boats to tow the ship around to the pier to make the trip easier.

Hiccup leads the party to the ship, climbing up onto the deck with ease, carefully motioning Toothless to stay hidden while everyone else is busy with the survivors. He knew as much already, but this was a lot of people, so it was better to err on the side of caution. One of the men seemed to be waking as Stoick stepped on board with a heavy thud and Hiccup was at his side in an instant. He really didn’t want this to turn into a fight and he was sure he was the least threatening person on the ship at the moment. A quiet “Take it easy.” being whispered under his breath to the newly conscious man.

"Ugh, what happened?" He mutters, voice laiden with a strange accent Hiccup had never heard. He opens his eyes slowly, though as soon as he sees Stoick and his men on his ship he reaches for his sword and pulls Hiccup to his chest, holding a blade to his throat. Hiccup wasn't fazed, he’d been threatened before, though Toothless had almost revealed himself if Hiccup hadn't caught it and ordered him to stay away with a pointed look in his direction. "Who are you? What are you doing on my ship?" he asks in panicked anger. Stoick tries to step closer, but the man presses the sword closer to Hiccup’s throat in turn. "Come any closer and the lad gets it." This was ridiculous. They didn’t have time to play paranoid, even if it was a perfectly natural reaction.

"Your ship washed up on our shores, you all looked injured from a dragon attack, so I brought help." Hiccup says easily. "You sustained losses, but most of the crew seems like they'll live, I'm not a healer so I can't say for sure though." That seems to get his attention and the man's grip loosens just enough for Hiccup to push the sword away and step back. It’s obvious he isn’t focusing on them anymore

"Viggo, where is my brother? Is he okay?" The man asks upon hearing and letting the fact that men had died in the attack sink in. Ignoring the pain from his own injuries he was surely feeling, the man got up and started looking around frantically at all the bodies of men on the deck.

"We'll find him, but you shouldn't be moving around." Stoick says, trying to push Hiccup away as soon as he's free. He simply side stepped his father's hand and moved to the other side of the stranger. He didn't hold the hostage situation against the man, he was scared and disoriented in a strange place he didn't know, and worried about his brother. Hiccup helps him sit back down, though it had been a struggle.

"What does he look like?" Stoick asks as the boats he'd sent around arrive and the other men set to work securing the tow lines so they can get the men to Gothi.

"He's the youngest member of the crew, 16, grey tunic, black hair, scar on his neck." The man describes shakily, taking deep breaths. “This wasn’t supposed to be a dangerous voyage, Grandfather will kill me if something’s happened to him.”

"Oh, he's fine.” Hiccup answers quickly, remembering the young man easily. “Pretty sure he just hit his head. I didn't see any blood on him when I was bandaging everyone up." Hiccup smiles, kicking his legs as he jumps up to sit on the ship's railing. "What's your name?" he asks, trying to get the man to calm down at least a little, focusing on other things would help, he hoped. Quietly, he directs Spitelout to where Viggo had been laid so he could bring him over to his brother.

"Ryker." Was all he got as the others set to work checking on the members of the crew. Viggo was brought forward to Ryker, who still inspected the boy himself. Hiccup didn’t mind, someone who knew him better might catch something he’d missed.

“What were you doing out there? I didn’t think Dragon Hunters came this far south.” Stoick asks once Ryker has calmed down enough to talk.

“We were out looking for his soulmate.” Ryker answers, nodding down to Viggo’s sleeping form. “It’s a tradition in our village that if your soulmate isn’t from the village that you go out to look for them. Viggo just turned 16 last month and planned out the expedition himself. We didn’t realize that his string led so far away though, or into such dangerous waters. We might just have to turn around and go back if it leads farther out still. It’s getting too dangerous for us to be out here.” he explains. Things went well after that. The news that they hadn’t been out hunting was a relief to Hiccup. Plus it turned out that the crew that had survived would be fine due to his quick action, Gothi even gave him a proud pat on the shoulder when she arrived on scene with Gobber and a whole lot of baskets of medicine and bandages.

The ship had been totaled, and their supplies were ransacked by the dragons, so the hunters would have to stay on Berk until it was fixed. Longer if they hadn't healed before that since several men had sustained serious injuries. Hiccup spent a lot of time in the great hall while the outsiders were recovering, watching them from the rafters and just observing them. Ryker had apparently been the captain, and from the bits and pieces he could catch, this had been the first time Viggo had been allowed to venture out past the main hunting grounds around their Village. There had been some sort of whisperings about the future chief being in danger too, but he couldn't quite discern who that was just yet. It had surprised him the first time Viggo had instantly spotted him up in the ceiling, but he supposed that maybe Viggo was just really perceptive? He hadn't stayed longer to find out. They were hunters. They killed his dragons for sport or for profit. He didn't need to hear any more talk about it. He had saved their lives on a whim, but that didn't mean he had to like them.

Stoick did though. His father was trying to negotiate some sort of treaty with the hunters, trying to find a way to protect his people from the dragon attacks that had begun growing in frequency. Hiccup disapproved, but he wasn't chief yet, so he couldn't say anything against a decision Stoick the Vast had already made. He thought he had been doing just fine protecting the village. Their losses in food had been manageable, and the last time anyone had died in an attack had been years ago. But apparently that wasn't good enough for his father. He left before things could be settled. He didn't want to hear how the hunters planned to trap and kill his dragons. And he especially didn't want to hear how Berk was going to help them.

He wanted to fly away on Toothless, clear his head and just enjoy his friend's company. He must have been more distracted by the conversation between Stoick and Ryker than he thought when Viggo managed to actually surprise him, pushing him out of the way and to the ground with a frantic call of his name just as Toothless emerged from the bushes at his bird call, ready to pounce and smother him in hello kisses. Viggo's sword was drawn and Hiccup felt his heart trying to beat out of his chest as he pushed himself to his feet to get between them.

"NO! Don't hurt him!" Hiccup shouts, throwing himself over Toothless' head to protect him.

"It's a dragon! A Nightfury! They're dangerous, Hiccup, get out of the way!" Viggo all but demands, and he has to wonder when exactly they became so familiar that Viggo thought he could order him around.

"Does he look like he's going to hurt me?" Hiccup glares as he straightens out a little, stepping back only just slightly, his hand still on his dragon's head. Toothless gives his hand a concerned nuzzle before curling his body behind him defensively, his tail raised in the air, ready to swoop Hiccup onto his back at the first sign of trouble. Viggo surveys them critically, obviously skeptical. It's fine. He understands.

"How are you controlling him like that?" Viggo asks, mystified, only dropping his sword a little. It’s pointed to the ground now, but he hasn’t put it back in its sheath, ready to come back up at a moment's notice. He doesn’t trust what he’s seeing, even if Hiccup does seem to believe what he’s saying. It’s still a wild dragon, no matter how you look at it.

"I'm not controlling him, we're friends." Hiccup answers with a roll of his eyes. "Put the sword away, he won't hurt you unless you hurt me." Viggo still doesn't believe him, but begrudgingly does as he's asked. He can tell that Hiccup does know this dragon better than he does, and that doesn't sit well with him. He thought this village was afraid of dragons, and yet, here was the chief's son running around playing with them? Was he the reason for all their attacks? Was his soulmate insane? As he watches the small viking boy climb up onto the Nightfury's back he concluded, yes. His bonded pair was, in fact, insane.

"It's a wild beast, it can't be your friend. It doesn’t understand what friendship even is. Now get off it before it decides to eat you as a snack." Viggo orders. Crazy or not, this boy was his, and he'd be damned if he stood by and watched him get killed. Hiccup just gives him a confused look before laughing at his order. Well, this wasn’t what he was used to. Back home everyone listened to his commands, sure, this wasn’t his home, but this still seemed like a reasonable order to his ears, and he was the elder of the two of them, he should be listened to for that alone!

"Toothless would never hurt me, let alone try to eat me." He declares jovially as he pats the side of the dragon's head and leans in to whisper something in its ear, still smiling wide. Before he can react, the dragon is running at him, he wants to bring his sword back up to defend himself, but he doesn't get the chance before he feels a scrawny hand on his arm and more strength than he was expecting as he's pulled onto the Nightfury's back behind Hiccup. The dragon warbles in a way that sounds disturbingly like a laugh and Hiccup himself does the same. "You'll want to hang on." He says. It's all the warning Viggo gets before the dragon takes to the sky, his sword forgotten, falling back to the ground as his arms wrap around Hiccup's small waist tightly. Was this boy actually eating anything? He felt like skin and bones. He’s liable to just fly away in this wind if he were to fall off this ridiculous flying lizard.

Viggo has never flown before, sailing, sure, but this was actually flying, not climbing all the way up to the top of the mast and hanging off the edge of the crowsnest to feel the wind in your face and see the horizon as you sail towards it. He had never even dreamed he would see a view as breathtaking as this. He was in the clouds for Thor's sake! The air was frigid and the wind felt sharper, but also, really good? He relaxed just a little as they leveled out. "So that's how you found us." He says reverently, taking in how far into the distance he can see from this height. "I knew we couldn't have drifted this far south in such a short amount of time." You could see miles out over the water, it wouldn't have been hard if Hiccup had been out here that morning to have spotted them. Hiccup stiffens a little in his hold but does give a small nod. "Did you tow us back with this dragon too?" Viggo asks. Maybe his soulmate is less crazy than he thought. Obviously he was still crazy enough to ride a dragon, but they did seem to have some sort of bond. That much was abundantly clear.

“No, I didn’t tow you back with Toothless, but I did have a few other dragons do it.” He answers. "I didn't have to save you though. Once I saw your flag I could have just left you there." Hiccup says, though, Viggo can tell he doesn't mean what he's saying. This boy is too kind to have left them there, floating and vulnerable to further attack. He’ll have to circle back to the other dragons bit later. For now, he had a hunch to follow up on.

"No, you didn't." Viggo agrees. "But, you did. You felt ... compelled to, didn't you?" The older teen asks carefully, a smirk worming its way onto his lips as Hiccup gives a hesitant nod. He obviously doesn’t know where this is going. He can't stop smiling, he really wants to tell him, so he holds up his left hand in front of the two of them. “Do you want to know my theory as to why?” Viggo asks, continuing before Hiccup can answer. "It’s because we're soulmates. The string you can't even see yet, told you to help us." Hiccup hadn't even considered that he might have a soulmate while he was in human form. And a dragon hunter to boot? Freyja had a sense of humor it seemed. He shakes his head.

"No. I saved you because human life is still sacred, even if you are murderers. You’re not my soulmate."

"We hunt dragons, not people." Viggo frowns. “But fine, don’t believe it, you’ll know the truth when you can see the string too.”

"Dragons are my people, so in my book, it’s still murder." Is all Hiccup says as he lands Toothless once more in the clearing where they had taken off from. Viggo gets off and looks around to pick his sword back up. He doesn’t need to look to know that Hiccup has taken back off, evidently done with the conversation. Viggo knows that if he says anything, the town would just think he was insane. No one would believe Hiccup had a pet dragon when the village was constantly being raided by them. Plus, then he would have to deal with the betrayal in the young man’s eyes every time he looked at him. He had just shared something amazing with him, it would be rude to out him like that. Even if it were for his own good. No, his secret was safe for now.

When Stoick and Ryker had learned that Hiccup and Viggo were soulmates, talk of the treaty became much easier. The question wasn’t what did the Hunters get out of the arrangement, but instead if they should send Hiccup back with Ryker and Viggo, or did Viggo stay on Berk. Hiccup didn't come home that night, he still didn’t, couldn’t believe that he had a soulmate, or that said soulmate would so readily hurt his children. He instead found comfort with his dragons in a nest of his own making on a small island past the tallest sea stacks south of Berk’s shores, somewhere he knew neither his father nor anyone else would find him. The God of Dragons, born mortal or not, and a Dragon Hunter? If not so absolutely repugnant, it would be laughable. Except that maybe Viggo was just a little nice to look at? And possibly, his voice was pleasant to hear as well. And okay, his mechanical knowledge when he'd popped into the forge one day was actually pretty impressive. No. No, he couldn't be falling for this human. Be it platonically or romantically. He was not going to let this man who would grow up to hunt his beautiful dragons, who probably already had judging from a few of those scars that littered his body, take up residence in his heart. Toothless snuggled in closer to his friend, purring quietly to help him relax and forget about his plight.

It wasn't the first time Hiccup had stayed out all night, likely wouldn't be the last either, but it was the first that it wasn't due to a fight between Hiccup and himself, and that was what worried Stoick. Perhaps he was worried about what having a soulmate from so far away would mean for him? Viggo had said that he'd told Hiccup about the string. Or maybe it had to do with the young man's occupation? Stoick knew his son liked dragons, more than he really should, given how the dragons regarded Berk. He always voiced his displeasure when any were killed during the raids, Valka smiling and backing him up, ever supportive of their son's whims. His family was going to be the death of him one of these days. He had tried asking Viggo to follow his string to find Hiccup, but he just said he couldn't. It sounded more like wouldn't to Stoick's ears. He knew from experience though that panicking and looking for Hiccup all night wasn’t going to work. If Hiccup didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be.

Viggo is the one to find him when he finally does return the next day around mid day, back in the same clearing as the day before. He's grilling some fish and sharing it with several small terrible terrors, curled comfortably into his precious Nightfury's side. Viggo still hasn’t fully decided if this boy is crazy or extremely brave, but either way, he belongs with him.

"How do you keep finding me?" Hiccup asks, not even turning to acknowledge that he knew Viggo was there.

"The string." Is all Viggo says as he shrugs and walks out of the shadows and over to the other side of the fire. Hiccup didn’t have to believe him that it was there, even though it was, so there was really no reason to start a fight over it. He would find out when he was old enough to see the string himself on his 16th birthday. "Why do I always find you with dragons?" He counters once he's comfortable. "Aren't they dangerous beasts that plague your village?" he asks, quoting Stoick’s own words to him.

"They have to." Hiccup answers with a frown, reaching out to pet one of the small dragons running around him. He looks distressed. "They wouldn't do it if their queen didn't demand so many offerings." That was interesting. How had Hiccup learned that?

"Kill the queen then?" It seemed simple to Viggo though. If he knew what the problem was, why not fix it?

"Because then Berk would be at war with the other tribes in the archipelago. I can handle the dragons, keep things to minimum bloodshed on both sides. I can't help with a war fought against men." Hiccup doesn't know why he's opening up to this hunter, just knows he's easy to talk to. He doesn't like this supposed string. As much as he didn’t want to believe in it, it was the only reason he could think of why things between them were shifting. Viggo stays silent, even after Hiccup offers him a fish, only nodding his thanks.

That admission was a bit strange, and more than a little confusing. How was he even supposed to respond to that? "Your father was worried when you didn't come home last night." He finally says after the fire has died down to embers. He observes as Hiccup only seems to nod.

"He always is. I was fine."

"Where were you? I tried following the string but it led off the island."

Hiccup smiles and scratches Toothless' chin. "With them." Viggo decides then and there to stay on Berk. He needed to protect this boy; if not from outside threats, than from himself.

By the time Hiccup is 16 and can see the string for himself he has come to at least enjoy Viggo's company when he isn't talking about hunting. And Viggo seems eager enough to avoid the subject for his sake, so it works out. He stares at the string often, wondering how such a small thing had such great sway over him. It isn't until he’s forced to take action against the Red Death, to defend Toothless from his father and his village, that he even considers telling Viggo the truth; that he was a God in human flesh. That even though he was in a weakened state due to how much of his power this body could handle flowing through it, that he still held sway over them. Could communicate with them and feel their distress. In the end, he still doesn't tell him.

He had had to save his life, again. This time from a raging titan wing Monstrous Nightmare that had seen the weapons trained on them as Stoick's ships approached the nest and had tried to kill the closest man to it. He had had to exert his own will onto the poor thing to get it to calm down. He tried petting its nose to ease its distress once it had come back to its senses. The waring emotions of fear of both man and its queen's wrath, anger that its nest was being attacked, and hurt in general for oh so many reasons in its eyes broke Hiccup's heart. That was when Viggo suspected that there was more to Hiccup than just scientific curiosity at finding ways to placate the dragons to stop their attacks and animal handling affection. But Hiccup is gone before he can get an answer, just a quiet; "Try not to get killed while I'm gone." Leaving his lips as Toothless and he fly straight for the giant dragon breathing down pillars of fire onto Stoick’s men and his fellow Berkians and the Hunters that had come to aid them.

Hiccup manages to win, though no one is quite sure how, but the look in Hiccup's eye as Viggo approaches is akin to a monumental loss. It doesn’t feel like a victory when he sees him standing there, his hand on the dragon's maw, crying, muttering old words he can't understand, but somehow, knows are an apology. Viggo pulls his soulmate into his chest and holds him tight. He doesn't know why this has his Hiccup so distraught, but he will console him nonetheless. He doesn't like seeing his destined other half so upset.

It doesn't come up again until four years later, when they are 20 and 23 respectively, with the incident with Drago. He has never seen Hiccup so angry as he is when he hears what the self proclaimed Dragon Master is doing. He almost thinks that he'll fly out on Toothless and go on some sort of crusade. He would help him if the young man ever bothered to ask.

Hiccup tries so hard to talk sense into Drago, tries to show him that he doesn't need to dominate and degrade the dragons. That they could be his friends. It doesn't work, and so he's left with no other choice. It was too close for comfort, Drago having the Alpha Bewilderbeast command Toothless to attack him. His dragon would never do such a thing, and he hated having to fight for his dragon’s mind to be his own once more. That was the moment he knew he needed to face this like a God, and not a human.

Viggo saw the change when Hiccup returned to Berk. His eyes were hard and unforgiving, shoulders squared back as he rides with purpose back home. He didn't know what the young man intended to do, but he clearly had a plan. He trusted his soulmate with his whole being. Dominating the Bewilderbeast with Toothless was not exactly what he was expecting. Though after so long of knowing Hiccup, perhaps it should have been. Hiccup had his hand on Toothless' back the whole time. It was clear that they were a team, and they were planning to win, no matter what. With the Bewilderbeast out of the way all that was left to deal with, was Drago himself, screaming at his beast as Hiccup walked up to him, face to face.

"You don't deserve to wear these scales, you never did." He says curtly, though he is too far away for anyone other than Viggo to hear him as he pulls the Nightfury pelt off of Drago's shoulders, forcing the man to kneel in front of him with a single hand on his right shoulder. No one knows where he acquired the strength, but it could very well just be that Drago is in shock at losing when victory seemed such a sure thing.

"You go around, touting that you are the master of dragons but you are nothing more than a bully who wears my children's skin as a trophy. You are master of nothing, and I will show you how little you truly know of my children. Your fate shall be theirs to decide." He says just before every dragon aside from Toothless, both in the air and on the ground charge the man. The bewilderbeast's ice that had littered the cliff edge shattering with a small flick of his wrist that had he not been watching, Viggo was sure he would have missed.

Hiccup steps back as his children flock Drago; a snafflefang rips his metal arm off and throws it off over the cliff into the crashing waves of the ocean down below. While recovering from the force of having his arm none-so-gently ripped out of his latch Drago brings his right hand up to hold the now exposed stump of his shoulder, glaring heatedly at Hiccup. It’s short lived though, a Zippleback coming up and grabbing him by the legs, both heads fighting over him, pulling them in opposite directions and sinking their teeth into his flesh for better grip, shaking vigorously. Two Terrible Terrors jump up to chomp on his hand as it dangles in front of their faces. The combined force of the Zipplebacks shaking him and the jaw strength of the Terrible Terrors results in both small dragons falling back to the ground and spitting out two severed fingers before going back in for another bite. The Zippleback seems to lose interest in Drago when one leg ends up coming off with a particularly harsh tug of war.

Viggo isn’t sure if Drago has actually stopped screaming anymore if he’s just gone deaf to the sounds with the sheer terror of what he’s witnessing. Hiccup is just standing there watching as each dragon goes in to rip off pieces of their enemy. There is flesh littering the ground everywhere he looks, blood is oozing from every injury and painting the man red from the bottom up. A Monstrous Nightmare reaches over the rabble with its long neck and takes Drago’s body, flying high into the air, shaking him wildly before dropping him back to the ground amongst the other dragons. If he hadn’t been dead yet, he was now. Viggo can clearly see Drago’s skull shattered, face caved in and nearly unrecognizable from between the mess of dragon feet. By the time the dragons are all done ripping him apart, there are pieces of the man scattered all over the cliff and town. Bones poking out of piles of flesh and skin hanging off buildings. The smell alone is enough to turn stomachs. His eyes have both been pecked from their sockets and the whole left side of his face has been shattered, the back of his skull caved in and leaking blood and brains.

It’s then that Viggo realizes that none of the dragons had actually eaten any of the man, every part that was missing could be found somewhere in the vicinity recognizable or not in its current state. No one says anything as Hiccup and Toothless walk away stone faced from the murder scene. Everyone else is confused and horrified that the dragons they had been defending the last few years could do such a thing. None of them had acted this way since before Hiccup had helped the village train them. Viggo had so many questions, first and foremost, if Hiccup was actually alright. For now though, he would give his partner space and help clean up. He knew that after something like this that Hiccup would need time to himself to calm down. It had been the same after he had been forced to kill the Red Death, the normally talkative young man not saying a word for almost three whole days after. He didn’t have three days this time. He needed to know what was going on, and he needed to make sure that Hiccup didn’t run off with Toothless into the night before he had a chance to speak with him.

"Hiccup, we need to talk." He says, hours later after the village is put mostly back together. He had followed his string all the way back to the clearing, though if he were being honest, he was sure he'd have found him here even if they hadn't had the string connecting them. Hiccup barely moves, his hand heavy on Toothless' neck. He doesn't answer, just stares ahead at the trees along the rim of the basin. "Hiccup." Viggo tries again, this time placing a hand on his shoulder, and sitting down next to him. "My dear, what happened back there? You weren't acting like yourself." His voice is soft, so as not to spook him. He doesn’t want Hiccup thinking he’s in trouble. He’s not. Viggo just wants to understand.

"I was. I just hadn't been that version of myself in quite some time. Even before this incarnation, it had been a great many years since I was angry enough to kill a man so brutally." Hiccup finally says quietly, taking a shaky breath. "He used Toothless against me. He used my dragons against my family, my village, against you; my soulmate. His crimes were beyond mortal forgiveness. He needed divine recompense."

Viggo didn't know what he meant, but he sensed no lies in Hiccup's words. "And you could do that? Channel divinity and dictate his punishment? Dismembered and butchered by the very dragons he'd dominated?"

"I haven't needed to use that much of my power since before I chose to live among my children. I think it was too much." He admits, finally turning to look at Viggo, blood dripping from his eyes, down his cheeks like tears. He looks scared, and Viggo is too. Everything makes so much more sense now when he lets Hiccup’s words sink in, but he doesn't have time to focus on any of that. His soulmate is falling apart. He needs help. He tries to reach out and wipe away the blood trails, but it keeps falling, no matter what he does.

"What can I do?" Viggo asks, clasping Hiccup's hands in his own, his own hands are still bloody and dirty, but that's not important right now.

"This body is failing Viggo. It was never made to handle more than a small fraction of my divinity at a time." He says softly, pulling one hand back to cup his beloved's cheek. "You surprised me, I didn't think Gods could have soulmates, especially ones who had hunted my children, but I'm still glad, here at the end, that you and I were fated to be."

"No. No, this isn't the end, we'll go get Gothi, you'll be okay!" He says frantically, getting to his feet and scooping Hiccup into his arms. "We can hop on Toothless and I could have us back to my village in a week's time. We can get you help!" Hiccup gives him a sullen look, but nods anyway. He'll let his human try to save him. He can feel in his bones that this body will give out by the end of the week, but if it would make Viggo feel better to take him to healers, he would go. Truth be told he didn't want to leave either. There was so much left he wanted to do, to experience. So many sunrises and sunsets to watch quietly with Viggo at his side. He would have to make the most of the last few he would get.

[amatchinwater]

For the prompts—Romantic List, 1. "I could listen to you all day." My #1 ship choice is Sterek for this but feel free to write any ship that comes into your mind <3

Thank you so much for the request!! Sorry it took a bit to get done! It's Sterek and there aren't any warnings I can think of!

Hope you like it :)

---

Being the kid with ADHD, Stiles was always dubbed the spastic, annoying kid who talked too much and never sat still. Like it was his fault his brain went a mile a minute and the ideal medication was basically watered down speed. Seriously, whoever thought that Adderall was a good solution for people with ADHD was fucking high.

But he dutifully takes the pill as asked, no matter what weird effects it has on his body. The first time he accidentally took too much, he cleaned his room in about twenty minutes while Scott stared at him with a slack jaw. Don’t even get him started on the research rabbit holes that he goes on without the drugs. Good thing there’s usually enough monsters terrorizing Beacon Hills that Derek regularly needs the human’s help figuring out how to stop them.

It took the second monster’s research only taking him a short two hours for Peter to give Stiles a key to his apartment so he could have access to the Hale archive. Talk about awesome! The creeper wolf is actually pretty decent to be around with his sanity intact, like an older brother or uncle Stiles wouldn’t mind having. Derek even sits with them most nights they’re scouring through texts. Stiles is sure he’s just being a proper Alpha. His heart- that has a major crush on the wolf- would like to think he’s the reason Derek comes around so much.

Not that Stiles truly believes for a second that the wolf could have feelings for him too. But a guy can dream, right? Hope that the stupidly gorgeous Alpha could fall for the lanky, mole-speckled human by sheer willpower alone. That’s totally a thing that could happen. At least Stiles hopes so because he isn’t going to say a damn word. Embarrass himself like that? Nuh-uh. No siree. He’s just going to love Derek from afar and do things for him in hope that’s the Alpha’s love language.

Because words are fucking hard.

As of late though, Beacon Hills has been oddly quiet. No rogue hunters trying to wipe them off the face of the earth. No random Omegas joining forces to kill their way through town. Not to mention the wendigo last month eating anyone it could get its hands on. So, Stiles finally has been able to do things for himself. He’s missed staying up late at night with both Hales trying to figure out how to protect the pack. But nothing beats laying in bed, a bag of doritos at his side, and God of War on the t.v. Honestly, the only thing that could make this better is if a certain Alpha was here with him.

But how the hell does he ask the wolf for company outside of pack related activities without giving himself away?

A question Stiles doesn’t have long to contemplate. Just as Kratos gets to Freyja’s home, there’s a tap on the window. Locked in a cutscene and having played it enough to know there’s no fight after, Stiles lets it play while he sees who it is. Glowing red eyes meet him when he reaches the window and Stiles wills his heart to beat normally in his chest. Having expected Isaac to be waiting for him, not his fucking crush showing up after wishing he would.

“Are you gonna let me in or not?” Derek asks, shaking a to-go back, snapping the human’s focus back. Apparently he’d spent too much time trying to calm himself down. “Come on, Stiles, I’m starving.”

Right. He’s still just standing here.

Opening the window, Stiles takes the offered bag so the wolf can climb in. The human can’t help himself, Freyja looks out her window to her home land and Stiles gets locked in. Shoving his hand in the bag for some curly fries, he sits on his bed. Piling them in his mouth, he listens to her talk about how Odin wronged her.

“That’s right,” the human says around a mouth full of potato, “fuck Odin.”

Derek snorts and sits beside him, kicking his shoes off. Grabbing a burger for himself, the wolf asks, “why do we hate Odin?”

“Are you serious?” Stiles asks, pausing the game when the Alpha nods his head and takes a bite. “Odin is not much better than Zeus if I’m being honest.”

“We don’t like Zeus either?” Derek asks carefully, thick eyebrows rising.

“Oh my god,” the human groans. “Odin married Freyja for money and power disguising it as peace and love. Took her from her home and forced her to bear him sons. Then, when she tried to gain some sense of independence to be a fucking person, he casts her aside, strips her of her full powers, and erases her name from history. Condemning her to only be remembered as Frigg, his wife, it’s bullshit.” Stiles takes a gasping inhale at Derek’s shocked expression and realizes he hasn’t. “Sorry,” he clears his throat, “I got a little carried away there.”

The Alpha smiles softly at him. “You don’t have to apologize, Stiles.”

“No, honestly, I’m sorry,” the human repeats. “I know I tend to ramble and talk too much.” Stiles sheepishly looks away. “I should probably be told to stop more often.”

“Oh, please,” the wolf chuckles before eying him seriously. “I could listen to you all day.”

“You-” Stiles narrows his eyes, mouth falling in an open frown. “What?”

Derek wraps his burger back up, setting it on the other boy’s nightstand. “I love hearing you talk about things you’re passionate about. Or when you learn something new and get so excited you’ll tell anyone who’ll listen.” The Alpha ducks his head with a smile. This is the most he’s spoken in one go, Stiles isn’t about to interrupt. “Why else do you think I work with you and Peter?” Blue-green eyes meet amber pools and the human shrugs. “Because I want to be the first person you turn to. I- I want to be the one you tell everything to.”

“Well, yeah,” Stiles starts, thinking this must be the reason, “you’re my Alpha.”

“Not just because I’m your Alpha, Stiles.”

Obtuse as ever, Stiles continues down the path of obliviousness. “Well, you’ll have to fight Isaac for the title of best friend, dude.”

“I don’t want to be your friend,” Derek corrects him.

“I don’t-” Stiles shakes his head. Not really understanding what the Alpha is trying to say at this point.

The wolf pinches his face in contemplation and the human patiently- anxiously- waits to let him think. Derek must’ve come to some sort of conclusion because he looks at Stiles with newfound determination. “Understand you can say no.”

“What-” Stiles doesn’t get to finish voicing his confusion because the Alpha’s lips press against his own. Derek’s. Kissing. Him. Holy shit! As if he could say no to that. Yeah fucking right. The human eagerly leans into it, deepening the kiss, not caring one bit that he’s kind of squishing the paper bag between them. The wolf moves the bag and it thuds to the ground, grabbing Stiles by the hips to put him in his lap, growling in the back of his throat. “Wait, wait,” he says against the Alpha’s mouth. Not wanting to stop, but needing to sort his brain.

“Sorry,” Derek pants, leaning his head against the headboard. “Too much, too soon, sorry.” He tries to move Stiles off of him, but the human holds firm.

“No, it’s okay. I’m not mad or anything,” Stiles assures, trying to catch his own breath. “Just trying to process the fact that you like me too. I had no idea.”

Derek reaches up and brushes a stray hair from Stiles’ forehead. “Do you think I bring every member of the pack dinner so that I have an excuse to be around them?” The human opens his mouth with an exaggerated shrug, the Alpha covers his mouth. “No, I don’t. It’s called courting, Stiles. I thought you had looked up everything there is to know about wolves.”

“Not the fun stuff,” he responds under the wolf’s palm, knowing he’d still be heard.

Derek chuckles and lowers his hand, “had I known you had no idea, I would’ve been a little more obvious about it. I’m sorry.”

“Uh-uh, no apologies,” Stiles leans in to kiss the wolf. “More kissing. Lots and lots more kissing. You’ve got lost time to make up for here, Sourwolf.”

“Anything for you,” Derek says, sealing their mouths again.

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Drabble

Reader comforts Loki

It's short and it's kinda dumb but guess who has feels from this picture (spoiler): So we're gonna have a fic where Loki looks like that

-

You hadn’t seen Loki since the assembly. You tried asking Thor, who was busy with his new makeshift throne, tried Valkyrie who was raiding the alcohol reserves, Heimdall who was trying to see for any potential threats and said he could not be asked to look, and even faced Korg. Nothing.

At last, growing concerned that Loki was nowhere in the main areas, you tried searching in the rooms cordoned off for you and Loki. Far away from the rest of the members of the ship.

Loki’s reign as Odin had been peaceful and dedicated to the arts and infrastructure, but it had still been under false pretenses. And the true king had still died during his time. Feelings were not altogether toasty, though they were mixed. It was complicated and Thor wasn’t sure how the general public would react around Loki. Honestly, you were more uncertain how Thor would react around Loki. Loki had rewritten a millenia of hate on frost giants in the span of a few years. As ever, you were so proud of and amazed by your beloved husband.

So here you found yourself, entering into the shared chambers, the bright lights of the outer hall bathing the black room in one long strand of light. Slowly the strand of light spread wider and wider until there was a wide strip entering into the room.

“Loki?” You called uncertainly.

There was silence.

You were just about to leave when you noticed off in the corner, at the edge of the bed, deep in the dark recesses of the shadows a hunched over figure.

Flicking on the lights to their dimmest setting, you shut the main door behind you and pressed your back to it. Waiting for some sign of recognition. Nothing came.

You bit your lip then slowly you walked over to him and knelt down beside him.

Loki turned away.

“My love.” You breathed softly.

Loki had his legs pressed together with his hands clenched tight between his knees. He turned his shoulder towards you when you approached, still staring stoically ahead. His shoulders were hunched slightly forward and his head was upright as he stared fixated on some unseen spot, but you could not see his face.

“Loki, please, look at me. What pains you so?”

You could see the faintest movement of his shoulders. Glancing down, you saw the tears on his trousers and your heart split.

“Oh Loki my beloved.” You crawled on your knees to be in front of him so he could turn no more away from you.

Loki stared ahead in silence, a few tears escaping down his face from time to time. His mouth was in a thin flat line and his green eyes so full of life looked dark and dull. He looked as though he had aged a hundred years, his jaw clenching and unclenching, a hollowness to his face, that he had never shared before. In fact, he did not quite look like your Loki, his jaw seemed wrong, his cheeks were puffy from tears, the eye color was wrong from the emotions. The strength of the emotions had even colored his usually pale skin. Nothing was right, he had clearly been pulling at his hair and rubbing his hands through it.

“Loki.” You said more forcefully, now a third time.

This seemed to stir him from whatever dark place he was in and he looked towards you, some of the life coming back to his eyes, but only momentarily. He bowed his head. “I killed them.” He choked out.

You reached out and cupped his face, standing up. Still gripping his cheeks, you turned his head to sit down beside him. “Who did you kill?”

“Our people.” He choked out.

“Loki, you saved Asgard.”

“I started Ragnorak.” Loki said, trying to pull away from you, his hands gently reaching for your wrists.

“You saved so many of our people. If you had not saved some of us, we would have lost all of us.” You pressed your forehead to his. “Loki my beloved, you made a sacrifice that no one else was strong enough to make. Thor put the heaviest burden on your shoulders because you are the strongest among us.”

Loki scrunched his eyes and shook his head. “I’m not that strong.”

You pulled him into your arms and began rocking him as he leaned his face into your chest, his arms wrapped around your neck. Gently you ran your fingers through his hair, fixing the knots and stray curls that had come undone from his frenzied thrashing when he finally realized what he had done. The chest of your clothing grew wet and you finished the knots in his hair and moved to stroking his back. Loki moved no more, made no more noises, still you swayed gently as he leaned against you.

Whispering soft nothings in his ear, you waited until the shaking had stopped. “I’m not letting go of you, alright? You need to know that there’s someone out there, in here, that no matter what happens, they, I won’t let go of you, I won’t leave you. Do you understand?”

Keeping his arms wrapped around your shoulders, Loki straightened up and nodded, “I do.”

“Good.”

And then, just faintly, Loki smiled.

[electronictimetravelmoose]

Being Thor and Loki’s younger sister (HCs) pt. 1

you were a total surprise baby

Frigga and Odin were fine with only having the two boys but things happen and here you were

your brothers loved you from the moment you were born and for the first few months the would always switch who would carry you around for the day

Frigga was hesitant at first but both Loki and Thor took extra care to make sure you were alright while showing you around that she allowed it and observed with a smile

being a few years younger than them has its perks but also its downsides

you were the angel that could never do wrong and was loved by everyone around you but every time you wanted to play and train with your brothers they told you you were to young for it

seeing you sad because of not being able to spend so much time with them Loki showed you the fun in reading and oh boy he was going to regret that soon

you basically devoured every book you could find and soon enough you found a book about Valkyries

and you wanted to become one, being an amazing warrior who fights and kills monsters besides other cool warriors sounded like a dream

talking with you parents went actually quite well, Odin was hesitant at first but Frigga always stood behind you and your decisions no matter how young you were so ultimately Odin caved in

telling Thor and Loki ended in absolute chaos

both wanted to protect you no matter what and seeing you becoming a warrior which could kill you in the future was something they didn’t want to see

after the fight that ensued you didn’t talk with them for over two weeks, focusing on your studies and now training as well, both Loki and Thor realized that they couldn’t change your decision and apologize

be ready for supportive brother now

Thor who was always a fan of valkyries become your number one cheerleader and fanboy who always hyped you up

Loki kept his support more subtle, helping you out when you needed it and comforting you when training didn’t go well

years passed and you all grew up but you never quite grew out of your old habits

starting prank wars with your brothers which were mostly won by Loki

sneaking around so they wouldn’t find out about the people you dated or to be more specific you were trying to date

you really thought that your two older brothers would approve of just anyone? hell no

they scared most of the people who showed interest in you off the moment they saw them look at you for a second to long

boys…

when the events of the first Thor movie happen and Loki falls off the bridge you were devastated and decided you couldn’t stay on Asgard anymore

you travelled from planet to planet and helped where you could

it took your mind off of things and helped you discover who you really wanted to be and what was worth fighting for

when you came back to Asgard to visit your family you found out that Loki was in prison for killing hundreds of humans and trying to take over Midgard

it was a shock, thinking your beloved brother was dead but finding out he was actually alive and become a monster in the process

it took you a while before you were able to go down and face him and seeing him locked up in his cell broke your heart

“Ahh my dear sister, finally came to visit your brother and tell him how badly disappointed in him you are?”

you felt a pang in your chest upon hearing the tone in his voice and what he said, he was never like that before and you felt a tear running down your cheek

you may have become a hardened warrior by now through your travels and many battles but you haven’t mastered your emotions yet, especially when it comes to your brother

“No, just here because I missed and thought he was dead for the past few years, you know…”

his features immediately softened when he saw your tears and he felt the same hit in the chest as you did

“I only have one question for you… Why?”

you saw when your father treated him differently than Thor and you, you listened to him rant about all this stuff for years, you were there when he found out that he was adopted and actually a frost giant and you comforted him through everything so why was it suddenly so hard for him to tell you the truth

“I had to do it, there was no other choice. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Maybe back then I wouldn’t but now I do, you are not the only one who has changed, brother.”

but he couldn’t and later on he would fake his death once again

this time instead of leaving on your own you left with Thor and went back to Midgard where you met the Avengers who you would become part of very soon

throughout the next few years you fought alongside them and befriended them

your relationship with Thor grew stronger than before and you became inseparable, supporting each other and being there when things get rough

everything started to get normal...

until Loki happened again

honestly you should have seen it coming but rather than being sad you were angry

he deserved the punching he got from you

and what followed when Doctor Strange made him fall for 30 minutes straight

you liked the man immediately and quietly thanked him for making Loki suffer a bit more

seeing your siblings suffer without any harm being done to them is just something that siblings enjoy, and hey Thor laughed as well so it was fine

when you three met your older sister Hela tho it became very clear that you were in more trouble than you thought

to sum it up you end up on Sakaar first where you had to fight some of the guys who were trying to kidnap you for some money, while trying to find a place you stumbled upon a woman which you immediately recognized upon her tattoos as one of the valkyries

she tried to fight you but you showed her yours as well and explained who you are

she told you her real name and let you stay with her for a while until you find some place of your own but that didn’t quite turn out

you also met the Hulk again who recognized you and immediately hugged you, at least you weren’t so alone on this planet after all

a few weeks later Loki and after that Thor end up on the planet as well and things start to turn upside down once again

throughout the rest of the events leading up to the evacuation and destruction of Asgard it was a bit tense between the three of you but it turned out alright and you were on your way to finding a new place for your people

but happy things don’t always last, it seems

Thanos attacked, killing most people under them being Loki and Heimdal, and getting the infinity stone before leaving you and Thor in the exploding ship

after being found by the guardians you didn’t have much time to mourn them because you needed to stop Thanos under all costs so you left with Thor, Rocket and Groot to Nidavellir in hopes of being able to forge a weapon that could kill Thanos

and you did so, but Stormbreaker wasn’t the only weapon you forged that day in hopes of defeating Thanos with it

-------------------------------------------

Tagging: @satans-bae-and-queen, @hippogreif-joana

[wordynerdygurl]

Skin Deep - Part 6

Author’s Note:  Honestly, this story is nearing it’s ending.  Hard to believe that a little idea I couldn’t shake has now grown into this mini-series!  For all my die-hard homies, waiting for the next installment, I hope this is worth your while!  If you’re new here, take a look around, see if you like anything and please, let the management know if you have any questions!! As always, writing like this requires the emotional support of people and pets.  My dogs, Murphy and Winston, get me through a lot of plot bunnies just by being stalwart companions.  My husband, graciously, lets me take these flights of fancy when I probably should be paying better attention to him and his day... and some of my besties here on Tumblr make it possible for me to do this for you guys.  @sammy-jo1977​ , my sister from another mister!  Couldn’t/ Wouldn’t do it without you! To all the folks who follow me... My Minxes!  Love you all!  Stay well, be kind, and remember that Love, really does conquer all!  If you want to be a Minx, send me a note, I’ll happily add you to my tag list! Lastly, be sure to like and share anything that you see on Tumblr that catches your eye.  Creative types, we need the constant validation, you see?  Without it, like an unwatered plant, we wither on the vine and perish!  Be kind to those who help you through the day and reblog! Skin Deep Part 5 - click here for the previous chapter! Pairing:  Loki x Reader, Steve, Valkyrie & Thor all make appearances Summary:  Continued from Part 5, You and Loki put your plan into action, returning to Farmhouse.  When you encounter Steve again, you learn there’s more than two sides to this story. Warnings:  Loki’s POV and perspective, including mentions of his time under Thanos.  I’m re-writing MCU history here, but some of the main beats are the same, so look out for SPOILERS for Dark World, Ragnarok, and a touch of Infinity War.  The SNAP never happened because, reasons.  

Empathy used to seem such a human emotion.  Loki had no time for that on Asgard, not when Odin denied anything as frivolous as feeling.  Hiding in plain sight was the means to survival and if that made the young prince sneaky and sly, so be it.  By placing those parts of himself under lock and key; the parts that hurt, the ones that ached, Loki found it was safer to disconnect from others than subject himself to their suffering too.

Operating under the influence of Thanos and his minions when he held the scepter, Loki had purposefully divorced connection of any kind from his mind.  It was dangerous.  Weak.  And moreover, it allowed Loki to do what Thanos commanded without really experiencing the horror, the havoc, of his actions for himself. 

  Who could hear the screams of women when the voice of Ebony Maw subliminally chanted all the ways that one could be dismembered at Thanos’ hands should Loki fail?  What man would shed a tear after the near constant beatings doled out by Black Order members, just for the fun of it?  How could someone care about a house, a car, a city, when they no longer cared about themself? Losing the Battle for New York had consequences far beyond the destruction of property.  With Thanos’ hold over him vanquished, the walls around his heart, constructed in youth, crashed and burned like the dream of ruling Earth.  Suddenly and completely out of reserves, Loki was powerless.  And he felt everything.  The fresh hurts caused by his manipulated ambitions in the hands of Thanos. The furious feelings of his brother, the inadequacies of his character, the feeble needs that drove his wild ambition washed over him unceasingly.  Anger.  Loss.  Lunacy.  Loki learned a hard truth in that moment.  He was a monster.  A freak.  A creature beyond hope and salvation; proving his adoptive father right and his own hopeful heart wrong.  Bitterness soured the fallen prince. Endless hours in isolation on Earth, which continued in his father's house, had Loki believing he had no chance of seeing the world outside again, and it hardened his heart further.  To feel was so painful, so raw, and so humane.  Why bother anyway?  All that emoting, those high spirits, all they really did was expose you to derision.  What was grief to a goblin?  What was horror to a monster?  What was love to a villain like him?  An evil, conspiring demi-god, with a mind bent toward domination.  A damaged, destroyed, deity alone and in pieces.  Who would ever give someone like Loki Odinson a chance?  Why should they?

Turning to his mother, Loki did everything but ask for forgiveness.  In long rambling talks, her projection to his jailed person, the pair talked around ideas of guilt and innocence, of fate and fortune, of destiny versus desire, yet Loki never heard the words he needed in order to truly find peace.   

If Frigga was aware of her son’s need for absolution, Loki would never know, as their last exchange was harsh and full of anger.  Another stroke of loss, crippling now, because there was nothing Loki could do to change any of it from inside his prison cell.  No illusion could conceal the painful ache that consumed him entirely. 

Those days were dark, even for a soul as dusky hued as his own, and Loki’s thoughts followed a similar path.  If there had been a way for him to shake off this immortal coil, free himself of the burden of living, Loki would have done so and been glad.  Death was welcome compared to all this longing and heartache. But life, even a nearly immortal one, was funny. 

When Thor provided a chance at redemption, Loki snatched at it, in his own detached way.  He played hero, rescuing Jane, aiding his brother.  And if he took a bit more in the form of deposing his arrogant, aging father, who would be surprised?  He was Loki, God of Mischief, after all. Ruling the Nine Realms without the oppressive oversight of his father allowed Loki to prove himself in ways he never imagined.  And Loki wasn’t just good at it.  He was great. Of course, it helped that no one knew he was Loki.  Living disguised as Odin was often unpleasant, frequently frustrating, but entirely necessary.  Being Loki was still too difficult and likely to bring unwanted attention in the form of The God of Thunder, a thing that no one truly wanted, Loki least of all. Return Thor did, along with an unknown sister and the end of Asgard.  When confronted with the insanity of Hela’s bloodlust, Loki’s only thought was of his kingdom, now without a ruler.  He had worked too hard, too long, to see the land he cared for in the hands of an enemy, even if she called herself sister.  Opening the Bi-Frost, panicked, his mind was solely on saving those he had recently held dominion over.  They were his people, after all.  But he never reached Asgard. Swallowing his fear, Loki focused all his energy on staying alive in a new and distracting environment, initially.  What Loki found on Sakaar wasn't a new home base under a flamboyant, ineffective leader that he could control, even if that was his first design.  On Sakaar Loki found his loyalty.  

The proud, deep resonance of being Asgardian, of being an Odinson, of being capable and cool under pressure.  Sure, he had to prove himself to Thor, Valkyrie, Banner and honestly, the rest of the kingdom, but actions speak louder than words.  And through his actions on Sakkar, and by extension rescuing the people of Asgard, Loki had shown everybody his true mettle. It was on the deck of a stolen ship headed for Midgard that  Loki had made a commitment of sorts.  One that was not to the people, so recently saved or for his found family.  This time, the promise Loki intended to keep was for himself.  Loki was going to change. The problem is, a task like that takes time.  Patience.  Motivation.  It was something that Loki had to work at and it was exhausting. They say that the best things come to those who wait.  Loki was learning to wait everyday.  Having earned a place at the side of his brother, he worked tirelessly to win over the heroes of his new home planet.  Was it easy?  Hardly, but Loki wasn’t willing to compromise.  Not anymore. A life like Hela’s was not in his runes.  Loki was simply going to be better.  Not perfect.  No one could be as good hearted as Captain America, nor could one be as tech savvy as Stark.  So Loki was planning on being the best Loki he could possibly be, and that’s how he found himself going to meetings at The Avengers Tower, a mostly welcome addition to the team. Meetings weren’t all that exciting and boredom was an awful temptation for a deity devoted to mayhem.  In fact, Loki spent more time doodling in his notebook than listening to whoever was droning on about whatever part of the world needed the attention of this motley crew.  That was, until Pepper Potts hired her new assistant.  That you were polite, pretty and pert wasn’t lost on the young god.  Sitting outside Mrs. Iron Man’s office, typing away with a phone tucked under your ear, moving faster than anyone he had ever seen was certainly impressive.  You were quick witted, clever and most of all, funny. Everyone else seemed to fall under your spell without much effort on your part, something that Loki found frustratingly fascinating.  Here he was, struggling to get people to say his name without having a traumatic flashback, while you simply smiled and smarted off prettily, and had everyone singing your praises.  But Norns, were you adorable. If he thought about it, and while off planet, Loki definitely had, he could remember the moment he realized that you were the woman he wanted.  You were busy, as always, fielding phone calls and flipping through screens yet every moment your flying fingers weren’t hovering over a keyboard or pushing down telephone buttons they curled around a heart shaped charm at your throat.  Clearly, it was a habit and one that you weren’t even aware of, still - it transfixed him all the same.  Watching you from his side eye, your voice never wavering, your tone always so pleasing, and your nimble digits returning again and again to the small sigil around your neck.  “Loki?” “Huh?”  Dumbfounded at your call, those deep sea eyes blinked wildly at the sound of his name on your lips. “Hi!  Yes, Pepper can see you now.  Go ahead, she’s ready!” He rose on stiff legs, adjusting his tie, about to lie to Tony Stark’s woman all for the chance to see you in passing.  Who had he become? It started out innocent like that, but soon, Loki was having to invent excuses for being in the office so frequently.  Missing files, random visits, even going so far as to buy Tony coffee just for the thrill of seeing you.  Something needed to change, and quickly, or Loki was going to blow. On another made up errand, hanging around the executive’s high rise office, Loki was doing a bad job of pretending not to see you.  His mind was on your pouty lips as you sipped lemonade through a straw and not on the stately woman seated behind the desk. 

“Loki, you’re a man of some… style.”  Pepper said it so casually that he almost didn’t hear, his head lost in thoughts that would shame any other person. “I like to think so.”

Shutting her folder with a snap, Pepper smiled, “And you’d love to help your old friend Pepper out, right?” That got his attention, and quickly.  Loki, shoving his hands in his pockets, turned to face Pepper with a widening grin, “I feel like I’m being baited.”

“Baited?  Never!  It’s just, you’re always here and I have a… project that needs the kind of help that you can provide.”  At those words you entered the office, ready for action with a notebook and pen, eager and excited. Suddenly, it was all clear to Loki, “Pepper, no.”  

The noose closed in on the handsome god as Pepper gathered paperwork without looking his way, “Come on, it’s the Stark Homecoming Gala and the two of you will do great!  I have faith in you both.  I can’t wait to see what you come up with!” “Really, Miss Potts, I simply can’t-” Stopping short, the strawberry blonde whipped around, almost nose to nose with Loki.  Shrewd and straightforward, Pepper interrupted, saying, “You’ve been dancing around my office for weeks now.  Clearly you like her and… against all the odds, she likes you too.  I’m doing you a favor and when someone does you a favor, you say “Thank You”.” “Thank you.” Nodding curtly, “You’re welcome.  Now, make yourselves comfortable, order some dinner, my treat.  And do whatever you need to make sure this is one great party!” That’s how Loki found himself sitting at a clear glass table over sweating bottles of iced tea as you discussed color themes and tablecloths.  You were shy, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you reviewed notes from previous gatherings both large and small.  His hands itched with wanting to do that job himself. “So, what do you think?”  It was the first time you had addressed him directly since coming through the door and for a moment Loki couldn’t answer.  You were too… not beautiful, that wasn’t the right word, although you were.  No, you were too open, too easy to read, and the earnestness you offered him was downright frightening. Sitting forward in the uncomfortable, yet fashionable, office furniture, Loki cleared his throat and again tugged his tie, “What I think is that you should let me take you dinner.” Dropping your eyes, your cheeks colored slightly as your fingers found that locket charm once more, “Loki, I… I don’t know-” Grabbing for your hand, suddenly afraid that you would take those shining eyes away, Loki lowered his voice and did something he never thought he would.  He begged.  “Please?  I find that you’re all I can think about.” It rushed out of him in a torrent, the way truth so often does, and he found himself unable to look you in the eye.  Loki was afraid to see rejection on your easy to read face, afraid that wanting you had cracked open the lock box holding his heart, afraid that you would see just how weak you made him.  Your fingers twined with his own as you replied, “You didn’t let me finish.  I don’t know what took you so long.” Sighing with relief, his face melting into a genuine smile, “Me either.” Over the next two months the pair of you worked tirelessly to plan and execute a perfect party.  You were inseparable during the day, heads buried together as you discussed linens and table settings, the quality of cocktail glasses, and debating over a band or a dj.  But at night, at night Loki talked about the things that haunted him in the dark.  And you loved him in spite of the awful things he had seen and done and said. Others took notice.  Loki was more lighthearted, more available.  He listened when people spoke and wasn’t constantly doodling during meetings.   Yes, Loki was learning how to love through your loving him.  If empathy had seemed too humane before, then sharing his life, his love with you, was the kind of immortality that earned someone a place in Valhalla.  It was the bravest thing Loki Odinson had ever done and he didn’t mind one bit.

The first time Loki tasted you was burned into his brain, as bright as a flash of lightning.  A firefly in a memory jar that he kept returning to, time and again.  Loki remembered what you were wearing.  He recalled exactly how the light shone in your eyes.  If he concentrated, he could tap out the rhythm of your racing pulse as he held you in his arms. It was the night of the gala.  Inviting everyone under the Stark Industries banner, up to and including the heroes tasked with saving the world, the event was a way to earn money for one of the many charities Tony supported.  The place was full of beautiful people wearing gorgeous clothes under perfect lights set to the hand crafted soundtrack you had created together.

But, Norns, he could still remember the way your eyes sparkled under the lowlights of that hall.  How your dress, simple but sophisticated, clung to the fullness of your bottom.  Low cut but somehow still modest, Loki couldn’t tear his gaze away from the promise of your curves, willing himself to find anything else as interesting as the idea of you.  

You were across the room hanging onto Tony’s every word, eyes bright and cheerfully glowing as you sipped champagne.  It made Loki want to do something grand, something suave, something that would demand your attention for his own.  Moving towards you, his tuxedo perfectly pressed and fitting better than it had any right to, Loki looked long and lean.  Each of his steps seemed to echo, even though the room was full of sound, and you turned your head as if you also heard.  Breaking away from the cluster of acolytes surrounding Iron Man, you bit into your lip as the crowd parted, moving closer together one step at a time.  It was one of the sexiest things Loki had ever witnessed. Lifting your glass in a toast, taking in the room of mingling millionaires, wealthy hangers on and Avengers, “Well, we did it!” “You did it, my dove, I just hung around and judged everyone.” “Oh stop.  I couldn’t have done it without you and you know it.”  Playfully you pushed against his shoulder and Loki took advantage, using your momentum to pull you to his side, your curvy figure flush against his own. Crooning into the shell of your ear, his lips brushing over that sensitive skin, “Somehow, love, I think you would have managed.”  Before you had time to think, Loki had melded his mouth with your own, stealing your breath along with your heart.  Loki’s feet moved in time with the music as he pulled into a dance, laughing in his arms, your cheeks hot and your head swimming. You laughing was, without question, Loki’s favorite sound.  Nothing in this world or any other came close to matching the joyful, childlike glee of that enchanting noise.  Loki memorized its melody, the rise and fall of your giggle.  He had craved it, being away for so long, and now he wanted… no, needed to hear it.  But you were the furthest thing from happy at the moment.   

"Darling, please.  We have to go."  Loki tapped his watch, shaking himself free from the memories of your previous life together and barely suppressing his irritation.

Tears filled your eyes as you whipped your arms around Thor’s mighty shoulders, his deep voice grumbly with emotion, "Take care of him, would you?  He's a jerk, but Loki is the only brother I have."

"Of course… always.  And Valkyrie, your highness, I can’t thank you enough for-"

"No need.  Loki, and by extension yourself, will always have a safe haven here in my palace."

Looking on, Loki and Thor embraced almost tenderly before crashing their heads together.  

"Stay safe, little brother."

"Be good, Thor."

Eyes on the sky, Val ignored the show of masculine emotion, chastising your plan, "You’re going to start a war, Loki."

Straight backed, Loki turned to the king, "Not on the grass of New Asgard.  I will take the fight to them, that is my vow to you."

As Loki offered his hand, Valkyrie shook it, with parting words, "Work on staying alive.  You have a tendency to worry your brother."

Solemnly nodding, "As the king commands.  Shall we?"  With that Loki laced his fingers with yours, leading you a few paces away from the people who loved him most, before summoning the magic that had you both transcending space and time.

This time when your feet touched down it was on the familiar turf of the orchard, surrounded by the scent of apple blossoms and the buzzing of happy bees.  Morning had broken and the world seemed full of promise, with the exception of that knot in your stomach.

"Are you ready?  Darling?"

"Oh… yes.  I mean, I still don't love this plan, but-"

"But it's going to work."  Only it was no longer the baritone voice of your long, lean Loki speaking.  In his place stood Nick Fury, leather duster and eye patch in place.

"If you say so!"  And you clutched your own throat as Natasha’s bored tones came out of your mouth.  The suit, skin tight but flexible, molded to your modified form.  All in all, you were comfortable, "The boots are a bit much."

"Ya think?  This jacket weighs a ton."  Pulling at his collar, "Why does he wear a turtleneck anyway?"

"Loki, this is so weird.  It feels so weird."

"Agreed, but then, why am I so turned on?"

Laughing, you shook your false red hair, hands resting on Natasha’s waist, "God, I've missed you."

"Same, dearest.  Now… let's get your necklace and some answers!"

---

 Convincing Bucky to head home had taken a lot of work, but sometime around 2 am Steve had finally seen his friend off.  The house was empty.  Steve felt the same way.

Turning the black velvet box in his pocket, fingers crushed against the fragile fabric, Steve struggled to feel anger.  When that didn't materialize he shot for sadness but even tears seemed beyond his ability.  

With a sigh, climbing the same stairs he had trudged up a hundred times before, Steve started going through the motions of bedtime.  Only tonight you weren’t there to tease him about the wildly inappropriate amount of toothpaste on his brush.  He didn’t have your light footsteps to follow to the bedside or your help with stacking all of your extra, yet entirely essential, pillows on the chair.

Someone must have changed the sheets, he thought.  There was no evidence of you and Loki’s adventurous afternoon anymore.  Steve made a mental note to thank Buck for that little piece of kindness in the morning.

Shucking his shirt, Steve sat on the mattress, a hand to his forehead.  He had lost.  Captain America had been bested.  Beaten.  And by Loki, no less.

Moonlight in silver slivers shone through the window panes, squares of light in the deep of night.  Steve was alone.  Utterly and totally alone.

And there was no one to blame but himself.

Sighing hard, Steve stood, pacing the floor to work off some of the unspendable anxiety he kept creating.  The room still had your energy, your vibe, as you liked to call it, and the feeling was a prickling itch Steve couldn’t quite satisfy.  Traces of you were everywhere and something about you leaving all of it, and him, behind was just too big to process. “Damn it.”  Even whispering sounded like thunder in the silence of your recently vacated room.  His hands, so big, so strong, smoothed along the fabric of your hanging clothes.  All that power had done nothing to help Steve get the thing he wanted. Sorting through the baubles and trinkets on your dresser, bottles of perfume he had purchased, necklaces and pins, each with a moment of memory it hurt him to recall.  Your watch ticked away the minutes as he stood, stoic and still, surrounded by the shadow of you.  In the orchard the birds were waking, their song filling the air, as morning broke in low golden rays.  Abandoning his plan for sleep, Steve watched as the light chased away the dark, casting rainbows on the floor.  The sun was reflecting off of your Grandmother’s necklace.  A pretty, ancient, carved cameo,  heart shaped locket.  He recalled his own mother owning one just like it, pictures of loved ones pressed inside, holding them as tight as history would allow. Fisting the filigree chain, winding it around his fingers as if it would somehow undo what he had done, Steve slipped it into his pocket before settling back onto the bed.  ----

At the back door to the home you so recently shared with Steve, Loki hung back, “I think this is where we split up.  You go find your treasure and me… I’m going to find some answers.” Nodding, Natasha’s signature red hair swinging, you squeezed the hand holding your own.  It no longer looked like Loki’s long fingered paw, but that was only a skin deep change.  You felt the undeniable essence of him in the press of his fingers against your own. “Be careful.” “That’s no fun, dove.” “Loki-”  You hated the way your voice broke as you said it, but there just seemed to be so much at stake and you had already lost him once. Sensing your unspoken concerns, Loki flashed you Nick Fury’s best smile, “I will.  I promise.”

“Ten minutes.” “Ten minutes.”  You watched the black coated back of your charmed paramour as he opened the shed door, hoping that he’d find something worth knowing in that place out of sight.  Inhaling deeply you twisted the doorknob as quietly as possible, letting yourself into what was once your kitchen, “What a mess.”  It was impossible not to notice the unwrapped leftovers and empty bottles littering the table.  An overturned trash barrel, crumpled beer cans littering the counter, things that Steve, your Steve, would never have tolerated.  All evidence that the grand evening he’d envisioned had been thwarted by Loki’s arrival and your collective escape.  

You started up the stairs, praising Natasha's footwear for its stealth, when you heard the toilet flush and the unmistakable shuffle of Steve’s feet on the carpet.  There was no place to hide on the wide stairwell.  It was time to see if Loki's plan was going to work.

Voice blurry, eyes rubbed red and raw, you couldn't deny that Steve looked like shit, “Bucky?  That you?  You back?”  Steve’s voice bounced around the brightening room as morning sunlight filtered through the soft sheers you had picked out for exactly this reason. Panicked, you backed into the railing with an over loud “Oof!” “Nat?  What are you doing here?  I thought you and Fury were headed to New Asgard?”  Suddenly wide awake and wondering, Steve rushed to your costumed side, eager for information. The man in front of you now bore little resemblance to the angry Avenger you had escaped from hours before.  This man had hair sticking up in odd angles from near constant finger raking.  This man had a hint of a stuffy nose and red rimmed eyes, all indicators that tears had been shed.  Now those blue eyes were scrutinizing you closely, full of concern.

“Uh… We... We got intel.  Yea, intelligence, that Loki was headed back this way.  Turned around… and uh, here we are.” One of those sandy blonde eyebrows lifted, “Natasha?”

Squaring your shoulders, channeling that cool confidence you’d see Black Widow display over and over, “Steve?”  Something about your tone of voice convinced him in a way your words couldn’t.  He visibly relaxed, those broad shoulders going slack as he asked, “Didn’t make it to Norway, then?"

Nodding a negative, you felt the unfamiliar brush of her red hair at your cheek and had to fight the urge to tuck it away, “No.  Loki’s using some sort of transporting power to move them around.  Fury suggested I keep an eye out here, in case they come back this way.” “She won’t be back, Nat.  There’s nothing for her here.”  To you, Steve sounded so sad, so removed, that you had to will yourself not to comfort the giant before you.  “That’s not true!”  It came out of you forcefully, thoughtlessly, and you saw the shock register on the Captain’s face. “That is, Fury and I… we… have reason to believe that she will come back.  They left with nothing, Steve.  She’ll need clothes… maybe some shoes… and-”  Swallowing hard, you didn’t want to give anything away, “-a necklace from her grandmother.” Steve, patting his pocket, felt the weighted chain and it’s heart shaped locket, “I don’t think-” Stepping up to his bulky form, suddenly aggressive, you started, “Never mind what you think, Captain.  We're here for a necklace...  the necklace.  Our intel suggests that your former flame might return for it and… And, I want it, with me, as a means to subdue her when she arrives." Sounding forceful and official was enough to back Steve down.  Just a touch deflated, you watched him shrug, “If that’s what you want, Nat, here-”  From his pants he pulled out the shining bauble, a trinket really, but full of sentiment and memory. Sitting in his palm, the tiny heart that held the picture of your grandmother and mother looked so small, almost unreal.  Reaching for it with wet eyes, you smiled at Steve as you lifted the charm and chain, “Thank you, Steve.  Thank you.” Nodding deeply, that golden head bobbing, “You’re welcome.”  The large grandfather clock could be heard ticking throughout the house.  The sun was gaining on the day and you, dressed as Natasha stood in silence in front of a somber Steve.  For another long beat nothing was said, then, as if sensing a shift in your conversation, Steve flashed your fake Natasha a weak smile, “I could use some breakfast.  How about you?”

“Um… sure.  Yea, ok.  Breakfast.” 

Steve started moving again, downstairs towards the cluttered kitchen when he paused, "So how did you get back so fast?  Cause that's like a 7 hour flight, even with you in the cockpit." “Steve…”  You could hear it, the whining almost pleading tone that signaled the end of Loki’s well planned charade.  That wasn’t enough to stop Steve.  He broke hard, one of those strong arms stopping you in your tracks before you could reach the lower level. “It’s clever, I have to give you guys that.  Almost perfect, really.” Panic rising, you doubled down on the ruse, struggling to keep your voice even, “I don’t know-”  Blocking you in, his body the perfect unmovable buffer, “Loki’s here too, isn’t he?” Pushing against “Steve, I… I don’t…” “Don’t lie.  You don’t have to…” “But… how-?” “You’re not mean enough to play Natasha, doll.  Not by a long shot.”

--- It was strange to be seated at the table and chairs that you and Steve had picked out together one sunny Saturday when you thought that your future was going to be Loki-less.  Your place, the one that you had imagined filling with children that had golden hair and bright blue eyes, felt like a set.  Something false and fake.  A facade, put together simply for show. Steve must have felt it too because his fingers drummed against the white washed table incessantly.  Clearly he had something on his mind.  “Steve-” “No.  No.  Please, let me just get this out, ok?” Raising an eyebrow, you waved at him to continue, nervous but interested in what the super soldier needed to explain. With a shaky inhale, running his constantly moving fingers through his golden locks, Steve caught your eye and didn’t waiver.  “When I saw you… No, that’s not right.  Let me start at the beginning. “When Loki left Earth, you… you were so sad.  It hurt me to see you so… deflated.” “Steve, I-” “You know it’s true.  When he returned to Asgard, something in you, it dimmed, and I just couldn’t allow that… Not when I felt the way I did about you. “I don’t think you realize just how incredible you are… how full of life!  And since I had already missed one chance to be with you, I knew I needed to prove that I could be the man you needed… If you forgot about Loki along the way, even better. “Only… you never did.  I waited years for you, ya know, doll?  Years.  And just when I thought there was no chance with you, Nat gave me a reason to hope. “She was your friend.  An ally.  Someone you could trust… someone I could trust.  I swear it started out that innocently, at least for me.  I just wanted to make you smile again.  But she had other plans.  Plans that came from higher up the ladder of SHIELD. “Fury, he wanted us to watch you… something about Loki being too powerful.  And-”, grabbing your hand tightly, Steve emphasized his point, “-I promise you that I had no idea about his success, or the messages he had sent to you through Nick.  Like you, I thought that Loki was gone.  Missing.  Never coming back.” “I… I believe you Steve.  I know that you didn’t do all this on your own… but what was Nick hoping you’d find out?  I knew less than nothing about what was going on!” “I think he was worried that Loki would get to you first.  That if… when Loki returned, you would be his first stop.  Then you would know about Loki’s success and, frankly, Fury’s failures.  You would also know… well, everything you know now.  That Fury had you tailed, lied to, and led on in an effort to stop Loki from out flanking him.” Frenzied and frantic, you felt anger boiling up inside of you, “But I thought Loki was gone forever.  There was no hope for him and I… and Natasha, she told me that he was dead.” “All a part of Fury’s plan to keep you neutralized and Loki away.  If Loki thought that you’d ignored his letters, that you no longer loved him, why would he come back here?  And, if that didn’t work… when Loki came back and you were with me, what else could keep him on Earth?”

Whispering with realization, “So, they used you too.” Steve sighed and buried his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, “Don’t feel bad for me.  I let them use my love for you, let them twist it up and shape it as they needed.  Honestly, I wish I could tell you that it was for you, but it wasn’t.  It was for me.  I wanted you, so, so badly.  I didn’t care what strings were attached.  And we built a life together, you and me.  I thought I could outrun the reality of the constant monitoring and daily reports.  Telling Natasha and Nick about every word and each email.  Don’t you see, I love you… and I wanted you, however I could get you.” Shaking your head, Natasha’s red wisps flying, “That’s not love, Steve.  I don’t know what that is… but love isn’t it.” “No?”  With a loud thunk, Steve slammed a small velvet box on the table between you. “Is… Is that what I think it is?”

“Last night.  It was going to happen last night.  Our friends here, under the lights and the stars, I was going to ask you to marry me.  I still would if-” Realization hit you like a ton of bricks, “If Loki hadn’t stepped back into our lives.” “-If Loki hadn’t stepped back into your life.” It made you both laugh in a sad way, how you finished the same thought, and for a fleeting second you could see why you had allowed Captain America to sweep you off your feet.  He was a lot of things to you now, but there was a time when he had been almost everything.  The evidence of that was in the small black square that said nothing but spoke volumes. “Steve, I don’t know if I would have said yes… even without Loki’s… arrival.  I think I have always known that you and I… we are very different people.” Sitting back in his chair, his gaze still locked on your own, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.  I’m sorry about what I’ve done… what I’ve said… How, shit, how I’ve behaved.  I could say that it was my duty.  I could tell you it was out of love, but the plain truth is that I have always been jealous of what you and Loki share.” “You’ll find it Steve.  You really will.  There’s a person out there waiting for you.  And once you’ve found them, oh Steve, you’ll see that this… what we had, it’s a shadow.  An illusion.  Because love, real love, doesn’t come with caveats and catches.  It is an undeniable force which, in my case, even the boundaries of time and space can not deny.” Something like a sob burst out of Steve, and you were surprised to see tears in his eyes, “I was so wrong.  Could you ever forgive me?” “I want to, Steve.  I really do... “  What more could you say?  Patting his hand you started to rise, “I have to go now.  Loki and I need to keep moving and I don’t want to risk running into Nick and Natasha.  At least, not yet, anyway.” “Where are you planning to go?” “To the Avenger’s Tower.  I believe I know what Mr. Fury has been planning all along.”  Loki’s strong voice entered the conversation as smoothly as his arms wrapped possessively around your waist. Steve took in the protective stance of your returned lover with a raised eyebrow, and without further comment asked Loki, “Really?  And how are you going to breach the building?  They’ll be looking for you, even with disguises…  Fury is no fool.  Plus, there’s little chance that Tony hasn’t activated a million safety and security protocols by now.” Only interested in you, Loki refused to give Steve any of his attention, “Getting in can’t be that hard!  I’ll figure it out when I get there.  Ready pet?” With a gentle push under his broad hands your feet started to move towards the door.  Loki was eager to be off and away, especially after hearing so much of Roger’s confession.  Just knowing what Steve had done, manipulating you while also convinced of his love for you;  it was enough for Loki to commit murder.  He was having quite a difficult time not tearing the good Captain’s limbs off his body. Softening his tone, Steve practically pleaded, “Loki.  Wait.  I… I can help.” Turning his attention fully to your former flame, Loki purred venomously, “You can help?  I’d love to know what entails, Captain.” “I can get you into the place and take you exactly where you need to go.  Fury’s going to hate it, but I’m tired of taking orders that hurt the people that-”  His pause was as lingering as the look he gave you, “- That I love.”  Before Loki could offer a sincerely sassy reply you grabbed his sleeve, tugging, “Um… Excuse us a minute Steve.” Pulling him down the hall of a home that felt like a familiar faced stranger, you waited until you had a bit of distance from Steve before harshly whispering, “How long were you listening?”

Serving you that small, sexy smile, Loki grinned, “Long enough.  How did you know I was there?” “You are sneaky, but even you, God of Mischief, cast a shadow.” Swinging you close enough to catch your mouth with his own, Loki pressed a sweet kiss there before answering, “A mistake I will be careful not to make again!” “The tower, huh?  That’s where you want to go?”  Grabbing you at the swell of your hips, grinding his frame against your own, “Where I want to go, my darling, is to the nearest bed, preferably naked, with you and you alone.” Your hands traced over the lapels of his borrowed leather duster, pausing only to jerk him closer by the supple fabric, “Hmm… is that so?” “Oh yes…”  Loki’s buttery grumble filled your ear as his strong hands dug into the flesh of your bottom.  For a moment you thought he’d give in to temptation, his sweet lips teasingly close to your own upturned mouth, “But-” On your toes, leaning into Loki’s sturdy, leather draped frame, you paused, “Ugh.  But?” Moving you to a safer, less kissable, arms length away, Loki sighed with the same frustration you felt, “-But, where we need to go, as soon as possible, is the Tower.” Moaning grumpily, you stepped out of the arms you longed to linger in, “I was afraid you were going to say that.” “I know it’s less than… ideal, love, but I did find something useful before the good Captain unburdened his soul this morning.” “And that is?” “Fury’s plan.  At first I couldn’t figure out exactly what he was after.  What did Fury want?  How was I involved?” Loki was dragging this out, loving how it kept you hanging onto his every word, and you rolled your eyes, “Well?  What is it?  Weapons?  War?” “All of that, yes… and… yours truly.”  That triumphant smile that filled Loki’s whole face lit up his mischievous eyes.  Tilting your head, struggling to make sense of what Loki had just told you, “What do you mean, you.  Fury wanted you… to do what, exactly?’ “Loki was going to be the patsy.” You both turned toward the sound of Steve’s baritone at the door, suddenly remembering that the Good Captain was still there and that he was waiting to see what you were going to do next.  Leaning his 100 year old bones into the doorframe, Steve crossed his arms, “The fall guy.  An example of what happens if you cross SHIELD.” “I think, my dear Mr. Rogers, that you mean, I am to be used as an example of what happens if one crosses Nick Fury.”  Loki countered, slinging an arm over your shoulder protectively. The idea was frightening.  A man like Fury had too much power, too much at his disposal.  Just knowing the lengths he had gone to in order to keep you and Loki apart was scary enough.  Making enemies of your friends.  Threatening the people you loved.  Selling your affection to Steve in an effort to control Loki.

Now, the knowledge that all of it was done in an effort to ensure that Nick Fury was the toughest guy in the galaxy, it made your stomach clench.  “What do you mean, an example?” “Unless my intelligence is flawed, I believe that Fury was going to kill me.  Is that correct, Captain?” Steve felt the weight of two sets of eyes on him.  Yours, full of fearful love and blind hope that this was all just some misunderstanding.  Innocent and naive and as lovely as he could ever remember.  Loki’s were reflecting a deeper understanding.  The kind of knowledge that only time in the trenches teaches. There was no answer from Captain Rogers.  None was needed.  Honesty, final and resolute, was out in the open.  “Look.  I know I’m not the guy you want on your side.  I’ve… I haven’t been the man I needed to be.  Not for you-”  Steve locked his bright blues onto you, offering a small smile that spoke of sadness before facing Loki, “-Or you, Loki.  But if you let me help you now, I promise that I can get you into the tower and maybe, one day, you won’t think so little of me.” 

Around you the morning gained strength.  Somewhere nearby birds chirped wildly, blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding in the modest little farmhouse and its implications on intergalactic politics.  Without  moving a muscle, Loki plainly asked you, “Do you trust him, dearest?” Squaring your shoulders, you crossed your arms, staring down the man called Captain America.  Nodding decisively, “I do.  I don’t think he’d spill everything like that only to turn on us.  He’s not so bad Loki, really.” “We’ll see about that.  For now, we trust Steve.  Ok, what’s your plan, Rogers?” --- “Hey.  I… I have one other thing to show you.”  Steve was dressed for action in his branded tactical gear, looking every inch the super soldier that Dr. Erskine envisioned. “Steve, we have to get moving.  Loki’s eager and -” “Just open it, ok?”  The envelope was thick with folded paper, the flap tucked under and not sealed.  Clearly it had spent time in and out of pockets, the edges frayed and tattered.  In exasperated curiosity you gingerly pulled the sheets free.

Shaking, your hands trembled holding the once white documents as your voice thickened, “Is this… is this what I think it is?” Cocking his head playfully, that rueful smile pulling at his full mouth, Steve almost seemed cheerful as he teased, “It’s yours.  I think something about this place has always been yours and I want you to have it.” “But-” Folding your small hands in his mighty ones, Steve squeezed gently, “It was a wedding present, or it was supposed to be.” “But we’re not getting married.” “I know.  Still-” “I can’t, Steve.  It’s yours.  Your house, your farm, your dream.” Shaking his head, disagreeing, but feeling lighter than he had in decades, Steve insisted, “Too late, I’m afraid.  It’s done.  Actually, that version of the deed has been signed since our second week here.” As realization sunk in you appraised the man changing right before your eyes, astonished but exhilarated, “Where will you go?” “I dunno.  Think I might need to be alone for a bit.  Maybe see the world… but first-” “First, we have to stop Nick Fury.”

To Be Continued... My Minxes:   @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @iamverity​ @mizfit2​ @sammy-jo1977​ @wolfsmom1​ @jessiejunebug​ @iluvsumbucky​ @unadulteratedwizardlove​ @procrastinatinglikeabitch​ @shxdowofdarkness​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @ahintofkiwistrawberry​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @rorybutnotgilmore​ @crystalizedcaramel​ @lokislittlecorner​ @capcapcapsicle @jamielea81​ @caffiend-queen​ @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​ @jenjen8675309​ @that-one-person​ @roguewraith​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @just-random-obsessions​ @brokenthelovely​ @lots-of-loki​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​