#honestly these have been really fun to do

[thehoneybeestings]

──˚₊•Under A Full Moon•‧₊˚──

Word Count: 3.8K

Synopsis: Sevika sees you once at Babette's before deciding you're her favorite girl; and luckily for you, she's your favorite client. Thus blossoms an unspoken exclusivity between the two of you... or so you think, until one night, you happen upon her in between your coworker's legs. You're left blindsighted, hurt, and just plain jealous; and worst of all... you know it's unfairly so.

Continuation of Service Top! Sevika x Brothel Worker! Reader drabble

Content/Warnings: nsfw, service top! sev, brother worker! reader, bottom! reader, fem reader, reader has female anatomy, romantic smut, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), strap (r receiving), useless pining lesbians, angst w/ a happy ending, L-word drop (love not lesbian you silly!) sev def has an abandonment wound poor bby

A/N: SERVICE TOP! SEV x BROTHEL READER UNIVERSE EXPANDS! thank you so much to this anon for the incredible idea; this is the longest piece I've written, so i apologize that it's taken so long; but here we are, many a late night later! i hope i did the concept justice; this piece was honestly a bit challenging because of it's length and because i had so much fun fleshing out the idea and had to reign myself in a few times, but i really enjoyed the process and hope you all will enjoy the product!

Love, Bee ୨ৎ

Today had been awful.

Unequivocally, comically awful. So much so, that Sevika finds herself standing outside of Babette’s, looking up at the silver moon, and wondering if its fullness has anything to do with just how bad her day had been; and she’s never really cared what the sun, the moon, and the stars had to say about her luck. 

It had been one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong- her mech arm had been short-circuiting all day, Silco was in a particularly pissy mood after a failed deal, and her team had fumbled a mission because some show-off new hire couldn't be patient- so she could only assume that today’s fury-inducing events were celestially predisposed. 

Actually, scratch that; she couldn't give two fucks about why her day been so shitty. All she knew is that it had, and she was exhausted, and she only wanted one thing right now:

You.

Of course, she wouldn't admit this, but the thought of your pretty eyes lighting up as she walked into your room, your sexy grin stretching across your face as you beckoned her over, your body underneath her as she coaxed you over the edge for the second, third, fourth time; these images had been the only thing holding her together today. 

Sevika knew better. Knew she had no business getting this attached to someone who was simply providing a service; and she'd scold herself for it later, but right now- as she opened the doors to Babette’s and made her way down the hall- she just wanted to see you. 

So, when she pushes the beaded curtain out of the way to see that you're not there, she hopes to the gods you're just on a break.

“Looking for Y/n?” 

Celeste, a coworker of yours, had found herself immensely displeased that you were hogging her favorite customer. Of course, she had failed to consider that clients choose their servicer and not the other way around, but she refused to believe that Sevika may not have been as interested in her as she was in Sevika. 

“Yeah,” Sevika gruffs, “I am.”

“Aw, that's too bad,” the raven-haired girl responds with a pout, “she just left for the day. Said she wasn't feeling well.”

Sevika would be unfathomably annoyed by this cherry on top of her already wonderful day if she weren't, first and foremost, worried.

“Not feeling well? How so?”

Celeste found herself becoming increasingly annoyed by Sevika’s show of concern for you. “She didn't say,” she begins impatiently, “but…” and then, she's trailing a finger down Sevika’s mech arm (Sevika didn't like anyone touching her mech arm but you) “I’d be more than happy to take care of you tonight.” 

Sevika had two options. She could go home and wallow in the frustration caused by the day’s events, or she could suck it up, settle for Celeste’s company, and at least end the night with some release. After all, it’s not like the two of you were exclusive, she thought; there was no reason why Celeste shouldn’t do, right? 

Right?

“After you,” Sevika huffed, trying her best to ignore how wrong it felt to follow anyone else to their room; and for the rest of the night, she’s trying her best to ignore how wrong the smell of Celeste’s perfume is, how wrong the taste of her skin is, how wrong her moans and mewls sounded bouncing against the walls…

And when you come out of the breakroom, you can feel your freshly blushed cheeks heat up in anger when you walk past Celeste’s room to see Sevika in between her legs. You only stand in front of the lace curtain for a second before you’re storming back to your room, and for the rest of the night, you’re trying to ignore how pissed you are. 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

“I feel so pathetic,” you whine, “I mean, why do I even care? It’s not like we’re together.”

It’d been a week since you saw Sevika with Celeste, and you were sitting in your favorite booth at The Last Drop, hoping that the giant margarita sitting in front of you and your best friend would aid in taking your mind off of it all.

They were no stranger to the situation unfolding between you and Sevika, and at this point, they were downright sick of watching you pretend your relationship with her hadn’t long exceeded client and servicer. 

“Do I seriously need to answer that question, Y/n?” They tease.

“You know, I’d actually prefer if you didn’t” you sigh, before taking a sip of the lime green drink in front of you.

“Right… because you already know the answer.”

They were right. You did already know the answer, but you weren’t ready to admit that the feelings you had for Sevika were very real, and only getting stronger. 

“Well, clearly, she doesn’t feel the same way about me,” you spit. An angry heat flushes your face as the image of Sevika and Celeste floods your memory.

Your best friend looks down at you with a soft, knowing smile. “You know, there’s no way of knowing how she feels unless you ask.”

You lean back with a huff, letting your head hit the back of the wooden booth with a soft thud.

“I can’t do that; and either way, that would be completely unprofessional… or, at the very least, completely humiliating.”

“Oh my God, Y/n, you’re impossible. All this yearning…”

They slide the glass over and away from your reach, taking a giant sip of their own.

You can’t help but let out a laugh, unable to deny the claim, but grateful nonetheless for the humorous distraction from the situation(ship) at hand. 

That is, until the situation walks through The Last Drop’s double doors; and just like it had when you walked past Celeste’s room a week ago, your heart drops. 

“Perfect,” you seethe, watching Sevika make her way to the bar. “I’m gonna head out, okay? Drink’s on me.”

“Fine by me,” your friend quickly surrenders, coaxing one last chuckle from you as you stand, “but hey, seriously, it’ll all work out. I’m here for you too, yeah?” 

You give them a small smile. “Of course. See ya,” you call out before heading to the bar yourself, hoping to Janna that Sevika will stay where she was on the opposite end while you close out the tab; and as you’re sliding coins to the bartender and turning on your heel to leave, you think you’ve successfully managed to avoid her, until,

The hand on your back is large, warm, gentle. You hate that you immediately recognize who it belongs to. 

“Y/n?” 

You turn around, taking a deep, steadying breath.

“Sevika.”

Her eyes are scanning your face, then your body; she looks relieved to see you. You hate that, too. 

You just wanted to be pissed at her, avoid her at all costs, and ignore how you really felt about her for as long as possible. Why did she have to make that so hard?

“How are you-”

You interrupt her before she has the chance to make any of those things any harder. “I was just leaving. I’ll see you around, okay?” 

More than anything else, you hate how her face falls when you pull away, making a B-line for the exit. 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

For the past three weeks, you had taken to avoiding Sevika like the plague. You figured that after enough time, your feelings for her would inevitably fade, and you could go on about your life as usual. 

Spoiler alert: they would not. In fact, she was on your mind now more than ever; and frankly, it was pissing you off. 

You knew Sevika wasn’t yours. What you had with her was nothing more than business. You had no right to be angry with her for spending her time and her money on a night with someone else. 

That pissed you off even more. 

You sat at a vanity in the breakroom you had quickly dipped into when you caught sight of Sevika walking through the doors of Babette’s. 

“Gods, she comes in, like, every day now,” you complain to the worker seated to your right; the both of you powdering your faces. 

“You know, I’ve actually noticed she’s barely ever here anymore,” they begin. “She used to be here almost every night to see you.” 

They don’t know they’ve struck a nerve; which is why you feel a little bad when you suddenly slam your powder down, their eyes wide and confused as they watch you storm back to your room. 

You shove your way through the beaded curtain, eyes closed and jaw clenched as you try your best to collect yourself. You stand in front of the doorway, taking slow, deep breaths:

In, and out, in, and-

Why does it smell like cigarette smoke in here?

Just as quickly as you register the smell of Sevika’s cigarettes, your eyes fly open.

Here she was, in all her glory, sitting on the velvet couch in front of you. 

You had almost forgotten how pretty she was underneath the warm, soft light of the ornate lamps littering your room. You wanted so badly to crawl onto your place in her lap, to run your fingers through her raven hair, to trace the scars on her face- 

Gods, you hated what she did to you, and you hated that you just couldn’t get over it.

“The fuck are you doing?” You spit, heart already speeding up.

She chuckles through her nose, putting out her cigarette on an ashtray before standing to meet you. 

The amusement on her face drops, her jaw set, eyes boring into you; and for a split second, you’re almost scared. 

Almost; because, despite her intimidating reputation proceeding her, you were privy to a gentleness that no one else saw. 

“Here to ask you the same thing.” she spits. “Fuck have you been dodging me for?”

You knew Sevika. You knew her well; well enough to know that she was far too observant not to notice you avoiding her like the plague. 

“What are you talking-” “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Unfortunately, your plans to ice her out hadn’t accounted for the fact that Sevika simply was not going to let you get away with this.

“Answer me,” she continues, nostrils flaring. 

You nearly break under her gaze, but Sevika knows you well enough to know that you’re nearly as stubborn as she is. 

So when you bite back with a, 

“Why do you even care?”

All she can do is let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Can you be fucking serious? Why do I care? As if I wasn’t showing up here damn near every night to see you-”

“Exactly!” You snap, eyes blowing wide. “Exactly Sevika; why bother showing up nearly every night for six months, refusing to see any other girl, making me feel like I was… I was special, just for you to turn around and fuck Celeste because I wasn’t primed and goddamned ready for you as soon as you walked through the door?”

A pregnant pause fills the room, tension thick in the air. 

Your wild eyes scan the expression on her face. She looks… confused; her own icy greys darting from side to side like she’s trying to put the pieces of some puzzle together.

You’re trying to figure out what’s so confusing.

“Don’t act surprised,” you begin, rolling your eyes. “Was this not the plan? Convince me we had something so you’d get special treatment?”

“Sweetheart, slow down-”

“Don’t call me that! What is your prob-”

“Y/n!” 

The sound of your name on her lips had only ever been sweet; gentle. 

Loving.

Hearing her say it so scoldingly makes your throat tighten.

You feel like a kicked puppy; and you must look like one, too, because she’s quick to take a breath, dropping her shoulders and relaxing the furrow of her brow. 

“Just… hold on a second, okay?”

You take a deep breath of your own before giving her a small nod. She rubs her temples, seemingly still puzzled, before she finally asks,

“What do you mean you saw me with Celeste?”

And now, you’re just as confused. 

“Um… I mean I walked out of the breakroom to see your face buried between her thighs. What else could I mean?”

Her narrowed eyes zero in on you as the pieces finally come together; and as soon as they do, all she can do is laugh, because her only other option is to walk over to Celeste’s room and let her have it here and now. 

“That bitch.”

“Who, Celeste?” you inquire, “I mean, yeah; she is a bitch. What does that have to do with this?”

Sevika lets out an exasperated sigh, stepping closer to you.

“The only reason I was with Celeste that night is because she told me you were gone.”

Your stomach drops, jaw dropping with it. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you breathe out.

“Wish I was. She told me you weren’t feeling well. Could barely focus that night because I was worried sick about you; been worried sick about you since, and if you had just talked to me, you would’ve known that.”

You’re flooded with so many thoughts- so many feelings- that you feel dizzy. This had really all just been a giant misunderstanding? Celeste had really lied like that? 

Sevika had really been worried about you all this time?

You feel a pang of guilt in your stomach. As angry as you were at Celeste, and as much as you wanted to blame all of this on her own jealousy, you knew that only yours was to blame for the month that had gone by since you’d given Sevika the time of day.

“I.. I’m sorry, Sev.” you mutter, hands wringing in front of you. “Didn’t think you’d be worried.”

“How could you not-”

She stops herself, running a hand through her hair as she turns away from you. 

The whir of her arm is the only sound filling the silence in the room, and you can tell by the tension in her shoulders that her thoughts are likely whirring just as fast.

For the the first time in a month, you reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles into the tight muscle; just like you would when she’d come to see you after a hard day. 

That’s all she had wanted a month ago; your gentle hands beckoning her shoulders to relax, your sweet voice beckoning her to talk, your soothing presence beckoning her to rest.

How could you not know that you had unwittingly made yourself her center of gravity?

Your hand stays planted where it’s at, but you don’t speak. You can tell by the way her eyes are nearly burning a hole into the spot on the floor she’s chosen to focus on that she’s got something else to say, and just needs a moment to figure out how to say it. 

So you wait; the soothing movements of your thumb saying, “I’m sorry; I’m here,” and the way she leans into your touch saying, “It’s okay. I missed you.”

“I know I’m not… good at this stuff,” 

You smile softly, tucking a stray tendril of dark hair behind her ear.

“So I can’t blame you for not knowing how I feel, but I… you…”

She huffs, and you can tell she’s getting frustrated.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, “Take your time.”

She turns to slump down onto the arm of the wingbacked chair by your door. You slot yourself in between her legs, hands coming to rest on either side of her face; fingers mindlessly tracing shimmering lines of blue. 

“I don’t let anyone else touch those, you know?” 

 Your head tilts to the side, eyebrows knitting together in curiosity. 

“You don’t?” 

“No. I don’t. Only you.”

Another pause settles between the two of you, but for the first time since this conversation began, it’s comfortable. Peaceful. Familiar.

“Wasn’t my plan to fall for ya,” she finally admits, “and when I realized I had, I wasn’t really sure what to do with that… but I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like I was messing with your head and all.”

“It isn’t your fault, Sev,” you sigh. “Should have talked to you sooner. I was just… scared.”

“Of what?” She asks, looking up at you. “Of me?”

Damn her and those puppy dog eyes.

“No, not at all,” you quickly reassure. “Never of you. Was just scared to face the possibility that you don’t feel for me what I feel for you. Didn’t want to make a fool out of myself, you know?”

She lets out an incredulous chuckle; like there isn’t a world in which she doesn’t have feelings for you.

“Well… you’ve certainly made a fool of yourself now, doll.”

“Hey!” You scold, stepping back to cross your arms in front of your chest. 

“I’m just saying,” she says with a cocky smirk, “this could’ve all ended a month ago if you had just-”

“Okay, okay!” The wide smile on your face betrays the annoyance you’re trying to feign. Truth be told, you were too relieved by the appearance of her humorous side to pretend that you were mad. “I get it,” you continue, “I said I was sorry!”

“‘S alright, baby,” she shrugs, standing up to meet you; and when she steps forward to wrap her arms around your waist, pulling you flush against her, you can’t help but melt into the warmth you’d missed so much.

“Jus’ means we’ve got lost time to make up for.”

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

You’re two orgasms in when Babette comes knocking on your room’s doorframe.

Your head whips around to give her a wide-eyed stare from your place on Sevika’s lap- and on two of her fingers- chest heaving and lips swollen from the kiss you’d just pulled away from.

“The fuck? We’re busy here,” Sevika grumbles, hand waving to gesture towards the rather intimate position the two of you were in.

“Sorry ladies,” Babette sighs, “You know we close early on Sundays. Glad to see that you two are back at it, though;” and with that, she makes her way back to her office.

Still in shock, you turn back to Sevika; who seems entirely unphased by the interruption. 

“My place?” She shrugs; and you can’t help but burst out into laughter, leaning in for a kiss that’s all smiles. 

“Not gonna take me out to dinner first?” You tease, cocking a brow at her. 

Whatever cockiness you were attempting to exude quickly fails when her fingers curl up into you just right, and you gasp, hips twitching on her lap.

She wraps her mech arm around your waist, sitting up to place a kiss on your temple before bringing her mouth to the shell of your ear.

“I’d say we’re past pleasantries, don't you think?” she croons. 

A shiver runs down your spine, head tilting back as she lowers her head to plant open-mouthed kisses on your neck; and when her teeth bite down on your collarbone, all you can muster is,

“Your place.” 

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

The words slip out of your mouth before you can help it.

She’s got you laid out underneath her on soft sheets of maroon, legs thrown over her shoulders, hips snapping into you ruthlessly.

For what felt like hours, her mouth had been on you, languid and slow; and when her mouth wasn’t on you, she was leaving a mark somewhere on your skin as her fingers worked you open.

From the outside in, it may have seemed like she was teasing, and for a second, you thought that’s what she was doing. You couldn’t really blame her if she were; a little repayment for the silent treatment you’d given her. 

But you knew Sevika well; could read her movements and expressions like a book. She wasn’t teasing. 

She was drinking you in; your form under her hands, the taste of salt on your skin, your whimpers and whines floating through the air. She was committing this moment to memory like it might be the last time she has you, and you realize, she’s scared you might leave again.

It isn’t until you place a hand on her cheek, coaxing her to look you in the eyes and telling her that you’re not going anywhere, that she’s finally pulled out of her trance, lining herself up between your legs with a crooked smile on her face. 

Now, her pace is quick, rough; but her gaze is so soft, eyes blown out with adoration.

Your own begin to flutter closed, rolling back into your head when she shifts just enough for her strap to plant kiss after kiss on the sweet spot of your velvet walls.

“Janna,” you pant, tears pricking your eyes, “Right there, Sev; please don’t stop.”

Who were you kidding? She wouldn’t dare.

Her thumb moves to wipe away the stray tear trailing towards your temple. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

When you open your eyes to look up at her, she’s looking back down at you like she’s in love with you.

“So pretty,” she mutters, her flesh hand warm on your cheek as her thumb traces your cheek, your jaw, your lips. “So, so pretty, baby; missed you so fucking much.”

You’re overwhelmed. By the way she talks so sweet to you, by the way she fucks so deep into you, by the third orgasm that threatens to break like a wave;

And when it does, the words slip out of your mouth before you can help it.

“Shit, ‘m cumming… just like that, Sev; fuck, I love you so much.”

Your eyes go wide like a deer in headlights when you register your own words; and when her hips stutter, you’re already preparing yourself to be met with a look that says, ‘are you crazy?’ … until, she lets out a groan of her own, not even bothering to pull out before she’s gone limp on top of you.

You’re still mortified, frozen underneath her, staring up at the ceiling. She must feel the racing of your heart, the shallowness of your breath, because she cranes her head up from its place nestled into you shoudler to speak into your ear.

“Calm down, baby. I love you, too.”

──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──

The moon is full again tonight; a stream of its cool light spilling in through the crack in Sevika’s curtains. You’ve already succumbed to the heavy lull of sleep; of course, not before Sevika insists that you pee, have a snack, drink some water, and promise that you’ll be hers from now on.

She gets up to disarm the heavy metal attached to her shoulder- something she only does when she’s certain that she’s safe- and climbs back into bed, careful not to disturb you. You rustle anyway, rolling over to bury your head in her chest.

Sevika has never really cared what the sun, the moon, and the stars had to say about her luck. 

She cares even less now with the entire universe sound asleep against her. 

End ୨ৎ

[greengoblinswifey]

The Deal

pairing— nerd!luigi x popular!bitchy!reader

summary— Luigi was the nerd who always had his eyes on you, the popular girl who was way out of his league. You made a habit of teasing him for it and he never knew he could have a chance with him until you made a deal. If he got you an A on your assignment, you'd let him take you on a date. Based on this request.

warnings— praise kink, oral(m,f), fingering, praise kink, slight sub!luigi, hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare, fluff.

a/n— Luigi’s website for updates!

Luigi had always stared, it was impossible not to notice those piercing eyes lingering on you in lectures, even in the library. He was subtle about it, but you knew. He wasn’t like the frat guys or the football players you used to date, and he knew that too. No matter how deep his crush ran, he never thought he’d stand a chance.

So, you gave him one, for fun. It started small, teasing him whenever you caught him looking. A slow smirk, a roll of your eyes. Then it escalated, leaning in close just to watch him stammer, calling on him just to hear him scramble for an answer. Your little entourage found it hilarious. But the best part? Making him do your assignments.

“I could help you study instead,” he had suggested once, trying so hard to sound confident.

“Why the fuck would I study when I have you?”

And like everyone else in this school, he fell to his knees for you. No questions asked.

The last assignment had been brutal, and you’d made him an offer just to amuse yourself. “If I get above a 90, I’ll let you take me on a date,” you had smirked, watching his face light up like you’d just handed him the moon. Cute.

And, well, he was. Not just in the typical nerdy way, but genuinely. Dark curls, sharp jaw, broad shoulders that you knew hid something impressive under those hoodies.

All week, you kept up the act, teasing him relentlessly. Your friends joined in, laughing, asking if he really thought he stood a chance. He never had an answer. Maybe he didn’t believe it himself.

Then the grade came back. 98%.

You were shocked—actually shocked. You turned to him, eyes wide, before practically throwing yourself into his lap, squealing. “Oh my God, Lulu! You’re a genius!” Your lips pressed to his cheek in an impulsive kiss, even using the nickname you had given him and when you pulled back, his face was bright red, completely frozen.

You got up, laughing in his face.

“S-so, does this mean I get to take you on that date?” he stuttered.

You paused, tilting your head, really looking at him. You’d been so busy playing with him that you hadn’t noticed just how attractive he really was.

“Yeah,” you said, surprising yourself. “You can.”

And the way his breath hitched? Worth every second.

A couple days later, he was at your door to pick you up, but honestly? He still couldn’t believe this was happening.

You, the popular girl everyone wanted , the one who always had something snarky to say—had actually agreed to go out with him. And now, you stood in front of him, looking so effortlessly gorgeous that it made his chest feel tight.

“Still staring, Lulu?” you teased, stepping outside, the smirk on your lips and the way the nickname rolled off your tongue making his head spin.

He exhaled a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he opened the car door for you. “Guess I can’t help myself.”

You slid in, watching him as he walked around to the driver’s side. Even when you weren’t messing with him, there was something about you that made him feel unsteady in a way he liked more than he wanted to admit.

“Didn’t think you’d actually come,” you joked.

He shot you a glance, shifting into drive. “What, you thought I’d back out?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time a guy chickened out around me,” you shrugged.

“Yeah, well. I’m not like them,” he scoffed.

You grinned. “No, you’re not.”

And for the first time all night, you were the one staring.

Luigi was a proper gentleman all night. From the moment he picked you up, he was attentive, opening doors, pulling out your chair, complimenting you like you were the most breathtaking thing he'd ever seen. “You look beautiful,” he said softly, as his gaze lingered on you from across the table.

And for the first time, you actually talked. Really talked. It took effort on his part, his usual nervousness was there, but he pushed through, and you realized just how intelligent he was. Thoughtful, passionate, with so much more to offer than just the schoolwork you made him do.

Meanwhile, the wine had left a pleasant buzz in your veins, making everything a little hazier, a little bolder. And Luigi, he looked good, really good. That sharp jaw, the way his tie hung slightly loose now, how his dark curls made him so much more attractive, when he leaned forward, elbows on the table, talking about something that made his eyes light up.

By the time he drove you home, you could feel the buzz of the alcohol mixing with something else entirely. He had given you his jacket, paid the bill without hesitation, and now, on the drive back, he was rambling.

“I had such a great time tonight,” he said, gripping the wheel a little too tightly. “Thank you f-for actually going out with me. I mean, I know you could’ve bailed, and I wouldn’t have blamed you, but you didn’t, and—God, you are just—stunning. Like, I still can’t believe—”

You cut him off mid sentence, leaning over and pressing your lips to his. He gasped into it, shocked, but you could feel how quickly he melted, his hands twitching as if he didn’t know what to do with them.

By the time you pulled back, he was breathless.

“Are you d-drunk?” he stammered, eyes darting across your face.

“Why? Was that a sloppy, drunk kiss?” you smirked.

“No—God, no, it was amazing, but—” His face was burning. “Why would you ever kiss me?”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing his tie and tugging him toward the door. “Because I want you.”

You barely heard his shaky inhale before you pulled him inside, locking the door behind you.

Then, his lips were on yours again, this time, with more desperation, more hunger. His hands hovered, uncertain, but you could feel the way he shivered when you tangled your fingers in his curls.

And when he let out the softest, most helpless whimper? It made your pussy clench around nothing.

Luigi’s breath hitched as he took in the sight of you, shedding your dress only leaving you in lingerie, his wide eyes raking over your figure. He had always thought you were stunning, but this left him speechless.

“You— you’re gorgeous,” he murmured, almost in awe, his hands hesitating before resting on your waist.

You smirked, amused by his reaction. “Cat got your tongue, handsome?”

He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “No, I just, I never thought I’d ever—” He cut himself off, choosing instead to trail his fingers over your skin.

His admiration sent a rush straight to your pussy and when he finally gathered himself enough to kneel, shift your underwear, kiss your clit and murmur soft praises against you, you felt something shift. It wasn’t just the usual teasing, the push and pull you were so used to, it was something more.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered as he ravished your pussy. “So beautiful, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

Your fingers tangled in his dark curls, pulling him into your pussy, his nose nudging your pelvis.

“Is this okay?” he asked breathless, fingers circling your leaking hole.

You nodded frantically, bucking your hips, needing more.

His tongue lapped at your juices and he slipped a finger inside you, curling, like he was trying to memorize your walls. No one had ever been so focused on your pleasure.

“Fuck, Lu, you’re so good at this,” you moaned, hands gripping his hair.

Your praises willed him on and he hooked a hand under you, tilting your body upwards as his lips engulfed your clit and his finger thrusted inside you.

“Just like that, I’m about to—” Your words were cut off by your own scream and an intense orgasm washing over you. Luigi carried you through it, slurping up your juices as your entire body convulsed.

“You taste better than anything I’ve ever had in my mouth,” he panted, finally sitting up, lips glistening.

You smirked, pulling him into a sloppy kiss. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him on top of you. His cock was practically bulging out of his pants and you flipped him over, undoing his belt and pulling down his bottoms.

As his cock sprang free, you couldn’t help the audible gasp that left your lips. Luigi was huge.

Now, it was your time to stutter. “Y-you’re so big.”

He was thick, long, veiny and hard. It almost looked painful. Hesitantly, you took ahold of him, your hand barely able to go around it.

“Really?” he asked, shooting you a curious glance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s the least of my worries. Fuck, I want it to hurt,” you said, practically drooling as you stared down at his cock.

His breathing grew heavier, body practically shaking as you held his cock in your hand. But then, you let go of him, a smirk playing on your lips as you trailed your fingers down his chest after you ripped his shirt off, the buttons flying everywhere, feeling the way his muscles tensed under your touch. He was already breathless, watching you with wide, eager eyes, his hands gripping the sheets like he was bracing himself.

“You’re so easy to tease,” you murmured, tilting your head as you let your fingers ghost over his abs. He was built like a Greek God. “So worked up already, huh?”

He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You, you’re just—” He cut himself off with a sharp inhale when you licked his shaft, the warmth of your breath making him shiver.

His reaction only made you want to push him further. You placed a lingering kiss to his tip, feeling the way his cock twitched beneath you. “I haven’t even started, and you’re already falling apart,” you teased.

A whimper slipped past his lips, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands fisting the sheets even tighter as your lips wrapped around his tip. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

That sent a thrill through you. The way he was unraveling so easily, the way his breath hitched with every tiny movement, it boosted your ego.

When you finally took him down your throat, all the tension built up in him melted into a broken moan. His fingers trembled as they reached for you, barely managing to grip your shoulder as if he needed to ground himself.

“Feels so good,” he breathed, his voice laced with disbelief, like he couldn’t believe this was happening. “You’re—God, you’re amazing.”

His praise came in soft, desperate gasps, each one more raw than the last, and it only spurred you on. Every shaky breath, every whispered compliment, every helpless sound he made, it was enough to keep you bobbing your head steadily.

The way your tongue swirled as you took him into your throat, the way his pre cum and your salvia dripped down your chin, the way your eyes watered and the way your mouth stretched wide to accommodate his size had him whimpering so loudly.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m gonna last,” he managed to croak out, cock throbbing in your mouth.

You hummed around his cock, bobbing your head and massaging his balls as he bucked his hips, his entire body trembling. Your lips wrapped around the tip, suckling as you stroked his shaft and his hot load shot down your throat.

“Fuck. Thank you, thank you so much,” he moaned, toes curling as ropes of his cum coated your tongue.

You seductively shed yourself of your lingerie, your body bare as you climbed on top of him. He stared at you like you were a masterpiece, breathing heavy and his cock still hard. You took ahold of him, dragging the tip along your folds.

“You’re always such a tease,” he whined.

A primal sound left his lips as you sank down onto his cock, your nails digging into his chest. The air was knocked out of your lungs as took every inch.

“You feel so good. Oh my God,” he whimpered, hands resting on your hips.

After you finally adjusted to his size though it still felt like you were being ripped apart, you lifted yourself up and began bouncing on his cock. Your hands were flat on his pecs, your ass slamming down on him as you rode him like your life depended on it.

His whimpers went straight to your pussy, the sound like music to your ears as you circled your hips and moved back and forth. Every movement felt like he was brushing against your cervix.

His eyes averted between your tits and your wet pussy gripping his cock. “You look so beautiful riding me like that.”

A smirk was on your lips and you lifted yourself even higher, slamming yourself back down and making the entire bed shake as you bounced.

“Rub my clit,” you cried out, feeling your orgasm approach.

Without missing a beat, he began rubbing your clit in harsh circles as you moved back and forth. He felt like he would black out, the sheer pleasure and how good you felt almost too much. You wrapped your hand around his throat, the action making his cock twitch and you knew he was close.

“Cum with me Lu. Cum inside me, you deserve it,” you panted, bouncing wildly.

He wrapped his arms around you and you fell on top of him, your entire body shaking, your pussy clamping tightly around him as you squirted on his raw cock. The rush of liquid sent him over the edge and as you came, you felt him cum deep inside you, his warm, sticky load filling you up.

You lay on top of him, still catching your breath. Luigi was staring at the ceiling, chest rising and falling as he tried to gather himself. Then, he looked at you as you looked up, eyes soft, admiration written all over his face.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking,” he murmured.

You smirked, but there was something tender behind it. “Yeah? You weren’t so bad yourself.”

His face flushed, and he looked away for a second, running a hand through his curls. “Seriously, that was amazing. I don’t even know what to say.”

You rolled onto your side, propping yourself up on one elbow as you traced your finger on his arm. “You don’t have to say anything.” Then, quieter, “Just hold me.”

Luigi blinked, like he wasn’t expecting that. He’d seen you confident, untouchable—but never like this.

Without a word, he pulled you against his chest, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You exhaled, melting into him, letting yourself get lost in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

For the rest of the weekend, he took you out on more dates—dinners, late night drives and movies. And each night ended the same way, his cock inside you, bodies and hearts growing more in sync.

But eventually, the weekend came to an end, and it was time to go back to school.

As you and Luigi walked through campus, hand in hand, the stares were unavoidable. People whispered, eyes wide with shock, questioning how he managed to end up with you. But Luigi didn’t care. Not when he had you beside him.

And you didn’t care either.

He was yours. And everyone else would just have to fall in line. You were the it couple now.

[flowersbyphone]

(i was tagged in one of these????? this has only happened like one other time) thanks for the tag @invisible-airwaves !!

Favorite color: dark/deep ruby red (absolutely loved all the red motifs in Grace Under Pressure by Rush... is this off topic?)

Currently reading: the girldragongizzard series by theInmara, Pictures of an Exhibitionist by Keith Emerson, and Cosmic Clouds 3-D by David J. Eicher (some of these i haven't read in a while for no reason in particular, but i'm going to continue them... eventually) other than that, various fics

Last song listened to: Alien Shore by Rush (i'm listening to Counterparts for the first time right now i'm not kidding - im screaming im yelling)

Last movie: i'm trying to even remember... i think it was Groundhog's Day because my family has a tradition of watching it every Groundhog's Day - i wasn't really feeling it this year, but they really wanted me to join them (i still ended up enjoying it - still not a super big fan of the rom-com stuff, but that's just me)

Last Series: Star Trek: Voyager!! i'm watching it for the first time with my family (who has already seen it) and i love it so much - we're on i believe season 6 currently - they've been showing me all the Star Treks in order of release (which we started doing y e a r s ago, so this has been going on a while)

Sweet, savory or spicy: savory

Craving: nothing at the moment but when i try to think of things... salty or savory stuff sounds pretty good... stop i shouldn't be eating this late at night

Tea or coffee: tea! (i really like chamomile with honey - honestly i don't live around a ton of people who have tea as one of their main drinks so my experiences with tea are a bit limited - i thought i hated it at first, but it was just that i didn't know how to make tea)

currently working on: i'm doing a cross stitch of Kiryu's tattoo from the RGG/Yakuza/Like A Dragon video games - when i feel like it, learning/playing/sightreading music on piano or (at a much lower level) guitar (the music consists of anything i like - if i love it enough, i'm likely to try to play it) - i'm slowly/casually trying to understand Swedish better for music/band reasons (to maybe one day understand lyrics (plus a snippet of video) that i can't find translations for, and because they got me interested in it, plus it is fun to learn new things) - i have a colored pencil sketch of my ocs that i'm sporadically adding to (i don't draw that often, so this is the first time i've even drawn some of them LOL)

tagging (no pressure to do it): @cicadaofthelake @progfessor-dyke @mikeology @geddy-spageddy @primatechnosynthpop @wyndsong @childoftheriver @auroreamethyste @junecast-moonfast and anyone else who sees this - peace!

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!

Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.

Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.

Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni

Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?

Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol

Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick

Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.

Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol

Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.

Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...

Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.

Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.

Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.

Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.

With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!

[official-penis-posts]

hey, anon asking about my partner preferring to eat me out above literally everything else. i wanted to say thank you for replying and also for everyone in the comments of the OP sharing their stories about cishet male partners with similar tastes/functions.

unfortunately all of my prior experience with penises have been the extremely penis-centric version. male pleasure was always put at the utmost, and getting hard and having him ejaculate was always felt to be the priority of sex. i never got head unless i was going to give it back. it sucked a lot, and i really didn't feel good. therefore my only experiences have been with "PIV is the goal" sex.

and then i met him. (which, wow, never heard of a service top before and that sounds spot on to what he likes.) we've had multiple conversations about my worry that I'm not doing anything for him, and he's always enthusiastically assured me that he wants nothing more than to be used for my pleasure. he's never mentioned being upset about his dick-- in fact he's said that he gets hard way more often and for way longer around me than ever before.

he said when i touched him it felt great, but i didn't make him cum (and he honestly looks harder after/during pleasuring me than when i try to do things to him.) it's an odd juxtaposition, feeling selfish and like i'm having all the fun and feeling wildly lucky that he is the way he is. but thinking about it, i know i've been very horny without being wet, so surely the same can be happening for him. beyond that, he's always the one going down or pulling me onto his face-- definitely not the behavior of someone who feels unsatisfied or pressured.

TLDR; thank you all for sharing and helping me challenge some anxieties about being a bad/underperforming partner :,) <3

Hey it sounds like everything is just fine with you and your partner, and it’s actually societal expectations that’s fucked up. Enjoy!!!

[custardtartsfan]

Jason Todd head canons that have accumulated over time

many thoughts about the boy constantly rattle around my brain and i would like to share them ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) nothing hanky panky ish for i do not like to think about that

general bullshit ᝰ.ᐟ

he doesnt trust modern technology. he has a Motorola razr. no he will not upgrade, stop asking

has VERY messy hand writing. straight chicken scratch. barley legible

smoked during his late teens (post resurrection period, he was going through it). tried quitting in his early twenties, he bought a menthol flavour geek bar but threw it out cause Roy made fun of him

it wasnt even one of the cool ones with a screen. smh

he has a weird nostalgic affection for the thrift

it reminds him of being a kid, in the rare moments that his mother was sober enough to take him somewhere. and it was nice, his mom was conscious, all was well

and he could get whatever he wanted! he wanted a toy? sure bud, its only a dollar. why the hell not?

he recently walked into a Goodwill and damn near burst an artery when he looked at the tag on a pair of pants. it was NOT like this back in his day

his hair is like wavy, like not curly but wavy. however, he has no idea how to really care for it. shits dry is what im saying

i think hes very competitive about stupid shit

not like he gets pissy about mario kart, he will race you to see who can fold their socks the fastest

largest of the batfam. vertically and horizontally. hes a beefy dude. a brick shithouse

i think hes also the kind of dude that needs to know someone very well before he could consider dating them. id even go as far to say hes somewhere on the aro spectrum

i think he has a very high spice tolerance. like youll pry his siracha out of his cold re-dead hands. he LOVES African curry (yes this one is based off me) thats like his perfect kind of spice

back to his hatred of technology, he collects cds to listen to instead of streaming

he has one of those hip disk players with the headphones. Red Hood has been seen with a walkman

also hates tv, but will watch the news willingly. he will sit down and watch Wolf Blitzer of his own accord

romantic (୨୧• ꒳ •)=:♡

remember when i said he has the handwriting of an 18 month old toddler? yea well thats a little unfortunate cause he LOVES leaving notes for his lover. when he has to slip out the window for a job in the middle of the night, he writes a little note - “had to take care of something, be back soon. with bagels. love, Jay :)” but its written so janky his lover is spending the whole time hes gone trying to decipher it

dont tell him that though, he might cry

hes not a talker particularly. words tend to come out wrong in his experience. instead, he likes gifts acts of service to show you he cares

shopping with him and youre eying a particular top for a while? guess what’s mysteriously appeared in your laundry basket

lowq doesn’t have motion though..soo it might have been Bruce card. but honestly? money is money who gaf

what he occasionally lacks in funds he makes up for in willingness to let you do whatever you want to him

he will waddle after you in sephora, freaking out the occasional employee cause holy FUCK who invited the punisher, letting you swatch whatever you want on his hand

if you’re concerned about the milk in the fridge being yuck, give it to him to taste. he’ll let you know

there is no mountain to high, no dubious forgotten leftover too unhappy looking

cannot cook for SHIT. but he loves to eat

he will mention wanting food and stare at you longingly until you go to the kitchen

hes not gonna be playing fortnite while you’re cooking though, he can chop stuff. you may not want him within 50 feet of a place where food is prepared but he will offer

bless his heart

runs hot like a furnace. probably because hes a large meaty boy

he will grumble like a pensioner when you tuck yourself into his chest at night when its cold, but we both know damn well hes gonna be giggling and kicking his steel toed boots when he tells Roy about it later

he had pretty mixed, strewing negative opinions, about his little white tuft of hair at the front. hes tried cutting it, it grew back the same. he bought box dye, it doesnt take. so hes stuck with it. and he cant say hes happy about it

until you came along, all full of love and life, telling him you loved it. you though it framed his face perfectly and suited him great. you and your fancy affection fuck you

(he was cheesing for hours)

okay lets get sad now

hes got BADD anxiety about hurting you without meaning to. its a reasonable concern, hes a big dude. and these hands dont do a lot of cradling as a rule, more beating heads in

he needs to be reassured, but would rather roll around in broken glass then swim in lemonade than let that be known. hes more of a stare at you until you sooth him

he likes to be kissed and cuddled and cared for. so what? hes only incredibly ashamed. it doesnt matter how many times you re iterate that he has no reason to be, hes a stubborn bitch

thats all ive got! i hope you enjoyed reading my real time jason todd related word association. most of these were typed in a fury on the mobile web app on the subway so..if the formatting is yucky thats up to god (-.-;)y-~~~

[artstennisracket]

HEEEAARRR ME OUTTT

size queen! art donaldson

oh anon I hear you LOUD and CLEAR. this was easy because Patrick does have a big dick (Tashi confirmed). i had so much fun writing this so I hope you have fun reading :)

cw: big dick energy LMAO, throat training of sorts, dirty talk

Art could describe his sex life in a lot of ways. Fun is the first word that comes to mind, but lately it’s been more like…boring.

Ever since him and Patrick starting hooking up last semester, Art has realized that when Patrick’s on tour, Art tries to fill the Patrick shaped hole in his life with meaningless hookups. And at first that was fun.

Sleeping with different guys and girls, hooking up at parties, drinking, smoking, all that fun stuff. But lately Art’s been feeling less and less fulfilled, specifically with his guy hookups. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

Until last night when he was hooking up with this guy (Taylor or Tanner? he can’t remember) in his dorm. Once the guy had pushed in and bottomed out, Art felt underwhelmed. It wasn’t that Taylor/Tanner had a small dick, maybe it just wasn’t big enough.

Long after Art had kicked Taylor/Tanner out of his room for the night, he gets a text from Patrick at 1am, gonna be there tomorrow, can i crash at yours?

Art has a smile on his face as he texts back, and what if I said no

p: then id say i will fuck that attitude right out of you

a: in your dreams old man

p: that’s not what you said last time, it was more along the lines of “fuck me please don’t stop”while you moaned like a girl

a: whatever 😒

Art shuts his phone off going to lay down for the night and that’s when it hit him. Sex has been boring lately with men specifically because no one’s dick is as big as Patrick’s. Art tried not be a size queen and give everyone a fair shot but he definitely preferred dicks on the bigger end of the spectrum. Patrick was the biggest dick he has ever been with and he’s not mad at that fact. Nothing really compares to the feeling of being split in half on Patrick’s cock.

He quite enjoys the burn and stretch he feels when Patrick pushes into him for the first time. Or the inescapable gagging and choking when Patrick fucks his mouth, forcing Art to deep throat. But he can never fit it all in his mouth anyway. Patrick’s dick was long but also very girthy. Fuck.

Art can feel his own dick peaking interest from his line of thinking. He tries to focus on something else so he can go to sleep so tomorrow can come faster and then Patrick can fuck him properly.

…

When Art gets back to his dorm later the next day he finds Patrick already inside seated on his bed, wearing only boxers and a t-shirt.

“how did you—?” Art questions dropping his backpack in the floor by his desk.

Patrick smirks as he shrugs, “i have my ways”

Honestly Art doesn’t even care how he got in but he’s happy he’s here. Art wastes no time going to straddle Patrick’s lap, pulling Patrick into a heated make out session.

Art can feel Patrick’s growing interest underneath him (literally) and grinds down on Patrick. Patrick sneaks his hand into the back of Art’s shorts, slowly pushing his finger into Art’s hole.

“ah—missed you, missed this,” Art mumbles into Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick adds another finger, pulling away from the kiss so he can watch Art grind desperately on his fingers. Fuck, he’s so fucking hot. “stanford boys not doing it for you?” He smirks.

Art shakes his head no, “no, fuck, not even close.”

“why don’t you show me just how much you missed my cock baby,” Patrick responds pulling his fingers out.

Art smiles climbing off of Patrick’s. He goes to lay down on his back, with his head hanging off the side of the bed.

Patrick raises an eyebrow. He smirks as he stands up, “is that what you want?”

Art bites his lip looking at Patrick as best he could from his position before he says, “you already know the answer to that question.”

Patrick glides his tip against Art’s lips smearing his pre-cum, “dirty, dirty boy.”

Art sticks his tongue out to lap up the rest of the pre-cum on Patrick’s tip before he opens his mouth up to let Patrick in.

Patrick takes his time pressing deep into Art’s throat, watching Art’s throat bulge, “fuck” Patrick whispers under his breath before he starts fucking Art’s throat.

Art tries to keep his throat relaxed because he wants to see if he can take more of Patrick than he did last time, but once Patrick starts thrusting down his throat all bets are off.

Patrick moans, “there you go, taking me so well baby fuck.”

Between all the noises Art’s making choking on his cock, his balls slapping against Art’s face, and watching his cock go in and out of Art’s mouth Patrick can feel himself getting close so he pulls out.

Art sits up, swallowing all the spit that’s accumulated in his mouth. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand before he starts shedding the rest of his clothes, “need you to fuck me, please”

Patrick takes off the rest of clothes before he lays Art on his back, positioning himself between Art’s legs, “how bad do you need it? tell me,” Patrick smirks before leaning down to kiss up Art’s neck.

Art knows that Patrick just wanted him to feed into his ego but Art was too horny to care at this point. “need you to fuck me so bad, want you to split me open on your cock,” Art whines.

Patrick lines himself up with Art’s hole, teasingly tapping his cock against it, “yeah? missed my big cock stretching out your tight hole?”

Art nods. He’s growing impatient, “yes so can you please just do what you said you would do and fuck—”

Art is cut off by Patrick shoving himself in and bottoming out. Art lets out an egregious moan, just short of a scream, “ah ah- yes fuck please, need your fat cock yes”

Patrick picks up the pace of his thrusts, drilling into Art, “these stanford boys weren’t fucking you properly hm?” Art shakes his head no because Patrick is right, none of them seemed to satisfy him the way that Patrick does.

Patrick smirks, “they dont know how much a greedy cockslut you are, just want the biggest dick possible huh?”

Art nods again moving his hand down to start stroking his own cock.

“tell me how much you love my cock baby,” Patrick grunts out, making sure to punctuate every other word with a particularly hard thrust.

Art is rambling at this point. He’s so close and Patrick knows it too, “i fucking love your cock so much fuck, think about it all the time, everyday, just want you to fuck me all the time, fills me up good, nobody fucks me as good as you- oh fuck i’m gonna cum.” Art spills over his fist and his tummy.

Patrick grabs Art’s hips and starts thrusting faster before he spills inside of him. Hearing Art say all those things really got him going but he wondered if it was true.

He pulls out and grabs a rag to clean them both up. “did you mean what you said?” Patrick questions lying down next to Art on his bed.

Art half smiles letting out a breath, “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” He shrugs, he wasn’t going to feed into Patrick’s ego anymore, he already got what he wanted (to be fucked).

Patrick scoffs shoving Art playfully, “so you’re saying I’m not the biggest dick you’ve been with?”

Art rolls his eyes. He knows Patrick won’t let this go without an answer. “are you the biggest dick Tashi’s ever been with?” He smirks.

Patrick smiles letting out a chuckle, “i think so yeah.” Tashi’s actually only ever slept with one other person besides Patrick and that was the guy who took her virginity. He’s almost 100% sure that his dick is bigger than that other guy, I mean his dick is bigger than 95% of the population.

Art starts to close his eyes, getting ready to take a nap, “well then there’s your answer.”

[dronningreid]

All my what-ifs.

At his darkest point, Reid decides to meet with reader under the pretext of closing that chapter in his life, but maybe his feelings for reader are more alive than he thought.

change the ending series masterlist

who? Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

category: angst

warnings/content: mentions of Maeve, discussions in a public place, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), special appearance by sassy Reid (because i'm his fan) mild use of vodka and mention of alcohol. English is not my first language.

word count: 3.8K

a/n: Obviously the name of this part is a reference to cardigan but I love What if...? so it's a fun coincidence. And I have a very good justification for what reader did so wait for the final part. I wrote this a while ago and I was going to wait longer to publish this but unfortunately I've been too busy to finish my drafts and it's been a rough couple of days which has also prevented me from doing what I love most. Anyway I hope you enjoy this <3

What if you were to appear in his life again?

Maybe if he hadn't asked that damn question...

Well, long before that, a lot of blood had already been shed and most of it was his.

What if he agreed to meet you?

Well, it was something Spencer was about to find out and honestly it wouldn't be the first time a question had gotten him into trouble.

<<Maybe the past should stay where it was>> He kept telling himself but he was never good with that.

"Hey Spence, drinks at O'Keefe, you come?" JJ asked as the rest of the team made their way to the elevator.

Reid pulled on his coat. "No, I uh, I have a date." The words were out before he could reason them out. "Well, it's not really a date, more of a meeting of old acquaintances..."

JJ understood immediately. "The lawyer?"

Reid's gaze was lost on the floor. "Yeah, her." He sighed.

"Are you going to see her? I don't know if that's a good idea." JJ didn't get a answer.

"I read the file I asked Garcia to make for you. Her mother was the principal at your high school and her father was a professor at MIT at the time when you studied there before going to Caltech." Yes JJ, there was a reason why that had happened. "That happened a decade ago Spence, I guess it ended badly and I know for a fact that no one can be special for that long time, not like that."

"She does." The truth broke through his stone wall. "A file doesn't say how much I loved her, all the times we shared, how I thought I knew her better than she knew herself, and it doesn't say I slept with her." The lump in his throat thickened. "Someone I had my first times with will be special until the day I die."

The thoughts materialized into reality before he could stop them. It was horrifying to be seen so vulnerable by someone...

But he had to admit that it felt good to relieve some of the burden on his bones.

JJ's eyebrows rose and her eyes widened. "You're right..." She whispered. "But if she's so special, why didn't you treat her like that at the police station?"

Reid picked up his briefcase. "I wouldn't have done it if she hadn't crushed my heart." He replied curtly before walking past her towards the exit.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

"What are you going to order?" You asked him as your eyes scanned the menu.

He should be repeating your action, but instead he was watching you.

From the moment you entered the restaurant he felt like he was so close to have a heart attack. Well, his skin was cold, he was dazed and he swore he felt a pressure in his chest but of course he knew he wasn't having a heart attack because statistically it's more common to have a heart attack after the 45 than at his age.

"Same as you." He replied without interest in a successful attempt to hide his true feelings.

You nodded before pointing the waiter to the saucer on the menu. "Two orders but one without creamed spinach."

A crack appeared in his stone wall.

His heart skipped a beat at that 'nonsense' and he hated himself for it.

He seemed to be 100% sure that you never loved him and now you came out with this, remembering perfectly what he hated...

The waiter took the order and then left with the menus.

He was so quiet so you decided to be the first to break the ice. "How's your mom?"

His mind played tricks on him as projected the time he introduced you to his mother. "She's fine." He said defensively.

Your brow furrowed. "Hey, you were the one who called." You had a very good point that even he couldn't deny.

He sighed and folded his hands together on the table. "And you were the one who suggested we meet."

You leaned over the table. "Don't start with that or you'll lose." The waiter came back and left the dishes on the table, so you rejoin in your seat.

"Lose? Is everything a game to you?" He asked sternly. Oh no, this was heating up a lot sooner than you anticipated.

"Of course not." You defended yourself. "But don't pretend that I started this when I know damn well that you investigated me."

His brow furrowed as a question swam through his mind. "It wasn't me to begin with."

"Oh sure." You took out your cell phone and placed it on the table.

He took your cell phone when he saw a photo of him with Penelope taken directly from her instagram.

"I get a notification every time someone searches for me on the internet, but I didn't get the IP address of course was the FBI." You explained.

"A little so paranoid, don't you think?" He said cynically.

"Let me continue." You reprimanded him. "And oh surprise after being investigated by someone anonymous, a certain Penelope Garcia started following me on Instagram."

Reid closed his eyes for a moment. "In my defense, I didn't ask her to do that." JJ do, but he don't.

"Of course, it was like a favor between friends?" You crossed your arms.

He looked at you directly. "What does that tell you that she's only my friend?" Reid knew exactly what he meant by that.

"Well she's not your wife." You looked at his hands thankfully finding the absence of a ring. "And I doubt she's your girlfriend. She's not your type." Your second statement was accompanied by a slight movement at the corner of your mouth, almost like a smile.

He leaned forward. "Oh yeah? So who's my type?" He whispered so damn provocative.

Spencer had that damn power where his eyes seemed to be able to read your soul. "Me." The words left your mouth almost immediately.

"Don't give yourself so much credit." That was a huge blow to your ego. "Maybe you were my type, when I was seventeen. But look at you and look at me. I'm thirty one and I'm not a kid anymore."

And when you had nothing left you used your last weapon. "Well, you act like one."

Reid sighed as if it wasn't worth his time to continue wasting his time on you. "You and your old tricks."

You looked away, trying to find a better counterattack. "So tell me, what's your type now?" Curiosity won out over revenge.

"Well I'm dating someone now." Those simple words were the equivalent of a gunshot or so you thought, you'd never been shot.

You swallowed in an attempt to undo the lump in your throat. "And what is she like?" Yeah, maybe you didn't want to hear the answer to that.

"Very clever would be an understatement." He replied proudly.

<<Of course, someone like him>> you thought.

At that moment a memory invaded your mind.

"So you're dating with Spencer Reid? Isn't he too smart for you?"

Words spoken 14 years ago still had the power to make you feel so small and it was worse when it were accompanied by that thunderous teenage laughter.

"And is she pretty?" You asked as if something as absurd as physical appearance would make you feel better.

His mistake was answering you truthfully. "I think so." He immediately scolded himself.

Your brow furrowed. “You think so? So you don’t even know what she looks like?” You let out a humorless laugh. “That’s so stupid, dating someone you’ve never even met.”

His eyes flared with anger, but he tried to maintain his composure. "Appearance is not something that has ever mattered to me and even though I have never seen her in person I know her better than I ever knew you."

"If appearance never mattered to you then what the hell did you see in me?" Your voice rose a little. "Because I was never as smart or perfect as you wanted me to be."

"I never, ever made you feel inferior to me." His voice rose as well. "And now that I think about it, I have no idea what the hell I ever saw in you."

Your bottom lip trembled slightly, almost imperceptible but he saw it and you saw that he saw it, so you looked away in an attempt to not look so fragile.

"I..." His voice faltered, of course he was still angry but the possibility of hurting you, no matter how small, made him feel like he didn't deserve the air he breathed. "I really don't know, it was only when I least expected it that the feelings were there..." He sighed. "I guess I just needed the happiness you gave me." His words were barely a whisper.

How could forget?, you had drew stars around his scars from the second he met you. But what did that matter when you made him bleed?

"And now someone else gives you that happiness?" You looked down at the floor, fearing the answer.

When he said yes it was like you had nothing left. Immediately your eyes filled with tears and you tried at all costs to avoid him noticing.

But he was a profiler so of course he noticed.

What if you would've confessed the truth on that swing?

Before answering his question, it's necessary to take a look at the past.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

<<I did something wrong?>> The question settled in his mind a week ago when you started acting weird around him, but since then the question wouldn't leave him alone.

You were alone in home, just lying on the couch watching TV.

But you were forced out of the comfort of the blanket when there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” You wondered if you should pull out the welcome mat or a knife.

"Spencer Reid." He didn't need to say his full name, it's not like you'd meet another Spencer and even if you did, when you heard the name you'd only think of him, your boyfriend.

Hearing his voice from the other side of the door, you immediately put on your slippers to go over and open the door and when you did...

"You've never told me what your favorite flowers are, so I bought one of each. Well, at least from the ones in the flower shop." As he explained, your eyes took in each beautiful flower perfectly arranged in the large, beautiful bouquet. "Maybe I should have gone to a bigger flower shop..."

You immediately shook your head and moved closer to join your lips with his. He accepted immediately, placing his free hand on your waist.

You gave him small kisses before pulling away. "It's perfect, thank you." You whispered before taking the bouquet.

You went to get a flower vase from the kitchen and you didn't see Spencer, so you peeked out only to see him standing in the doorway, waiting.

"Are you a vampire who needs to be invited in?" After a week a joke had the honor of leaving your lips.

He smiled shyly before he closed the door behind him. "Where's your dad?"

"Exam season he stays late, you know." You explained as you filled the flower vase with water. "You must be pretty stressed and busy too." You glanced at him briefly before placing the flowers in the vase.

"I'm never busy for you." He cautiously approached you.

Your gaze was lost in the beautiful bouquet he bought for you and then you had a hard time breathing because of how sweet he was, such a good boyfriend, so perfect. You thought that you didn't deserve him.

"Well then what do you want to do? We can go outside to the swings in the garden or we can go up to my room while dad is not there." You suggested, lowering your voice a little as you said the second.

Reid's cheeks quickly flushed pink. "I... uhm." He scratched the back of his neck.

His skin grew warm just remembering your hand inside his sweatshirt. It had only been a couple of days since his first time with you and he was still breathless just remembering it.

"We can go to the swings and talk, that's what I came here." He paused. "But if you want, we can go to your room afterwards..." He whispered.

Both swung on the swings, the air brushing against your face as both rose higher.

"And what did you want to talk about?" You asked while stretching your legs to climb higher than him.

He stopped the swing from moving and looked at you as if silently requesting you to imitate his action.

Your swing stopped next to his. “You’ve been a little distant lately. Did I do something to upset you or hurt you in some way?” He scanned your expression for answers.

You shook your head immediately.

"So what is it?" He looked at you with pleading eyes before taking your hand and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

You nodded, you needed to tell him something and despite what he said you couldn't tell the truth. So you opted for something else that had also made your days bad.

You took a deep breath. "My parents are getting divorced."

He looked at you with understanding but said nothing, waiting for you to continue.

"I was having a bad day and luckily you showed up." You smiled lightly at him. "They gave me the news a few days ago and I don't know how I didn't see it coming. My mom is in Las Vegas and my dad is here in Cambridge. I thought the long distance relationship was working for them but it turns out that they cannot tolerate being close to each other."

Your eyes filled with tears. "I know I'm not a little girl anymore who has to suffer because her parents are separating, but it hurts." He nodded before placing a sweet kiss on your knuckles. "Now that I think about it, I don't know of any relationship that has lasted that long. Can love last that long? Because if not, then how much time do we have left?"

Panic welled up in his gut. “We’re not your parents and we’re not my parents.” He tightened his grip on your hand slightly. “I’ll always be yours.” So that’s why it’s said to be careful what you say.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

"Have you ever wondered what would happened if you had told me the truth that night at your house?" The question came out before he could stop it.

You managed to keep not a single tear from falling, you had gotten good at that over the years. "You would've broken up with me." Yes, you had thought about that a thousand times.

"It's not true." The truth was humiliating. "And if it had been so, what was the point of you leaving me first?" He scolded you, pain and repressed anger seeping through every syllable.

What if you hadn't left like a father and running like water? The answer was not good for his dignity.

"Well if you think you have the answer tell me what would have happened if I had told you the truth that day?" You asked abruptly.

The truth was something I would never say out loud to you, but I had thought about that answer for 14 years.

He wanted to think that both would have worked things out together, that both would stay together until you finished college and then he would bought the most beautiful ring and gotten down on one knee.

You probably said yes and then you would be his wife now, Mrs. Reid. And maybe both would have a child, maybe two.

But that was only a possibility 14 years ago, now it was an impossibility. Because he lived in a cruel reality where he wasn't your husband or the father of your children.

"We could have fixed it." He replied with a half-truth, leaving out the rings, the white dress, and the cribs. "But you left me and ran away from me..." The words burned in his throat.

"I wasn't running away from you..." You whispered.

"Then what?" His tone was harsh.

"Of the consequences." You tried to hide the vulnerability in your words, but what your lips hide, your eyes show.

He had nothing left, why continue hiding the truth? "I would have forgiven you." He confessed quietly.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

Spencer hated when you and him separated at parties, because he was only there for you.

This time both separated because you had to go to the bathroom or so he thought.

"Hey Spencer, you need to control your damn girlfriend." Kelly's words made him frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you heard? The whole school is whispering that she slept with Ryan and like two minutes ago she kissed him in the garden." Kelly replied, almost steaming from her ears.

But for Reid what Kelly said couldn't be true, you would never be capable of doing something like that...

But once doubt sets in there's only one way to stop it. So he came look for you.

When you came out of the bathroom a couple of girls gave you a glass of vodka perhaps, a glass that you accepted.

You took a sip before walking into the living room, back to Spencer. But he met you halfway and snatched the glass from your hand. "You said you weren't going to drink tonight." He spoke in an unusually serious tone.

"I'm sorry, but the girls just showed up." He continued to look at you with that horrible seriousness. "I only took a sip, if you want I can throw it." Your attempt to please him didn't work.

"Whatever, that doesn't matter now." He set the glass down somewhere. "We need to talk." He ordered, the boy who always asked you if you wanted to do something or not.

Your hands immediately turned cold. Maybe he had already decided that you weren't enough for him. "Yes, yes. Here or-?"

"Outside." He took your hand and led you outside before you could say anything.

"Kelly told me something... interesting." He kept his ice mask on or he probably would collapse there.

"Kelly always tells gossips, she loves gossip." You laughed at the quality of your 'friend' who was one minute away from ruining your life.

Spencer didn't laugh, he remained serious. "Kelly said you kissed Ryan today and that you slept with him." You immediately frowned upon hearing something as absurd as that.

Then some popular guys walked past you and Spencer, unfortunately you heard what they were whispering.

"What's someone like her doing with a nerd like him?"

"She's going to end up being a loser like him." Well at least he already has a PhD and is close to have another one.

Well, you'd heard worse things about him and yourself actually.

"Is that true?" He ask, obviously trying to find out the truth and recapture your attention that was lost with those boys.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" You insisted when you felt those looks judging you, mocking you, burning you...

"Why? Are you ashamed of me?" He crossed his arms and looked at you sternly.

"What?!" You immediately scolded yourself as you earned glances from a few guys.

"I'm sick of pretending I don't notice that you've been avoiding physical contact when we're with your friends lately, among other things that make it seem like you're embarrassed to dating with me." Between his words and the stares on your face you felt breathing getting harder with every second.

"Spencer, can we really talk somewhere else?" You asked as your eyes darted around, feeling the stares judging you.

"No, let's talk here and now." He replied firmly.

Everything was starting to spin and your breathing was getting harder and harder. Then, like a miracle with some price, your phone rang.

"It's my dad, I have to answer." You told to Spencer, still in a daze before moving away from him so you could answer.

He let out a frustrated sigh but let you go, not knowing you weren't coming back.

∗⋅✧⋅∗

"But it's too late now." He said quickly in the moment he seemed you were to say something.

Your eyes closed for a moment. Defeat was something you didn't want to get out of this meeting. "I'm really sorry Spencer, I've had a really bad fourteen years just tearing myself apart over a mistake I made when I was young and didn't know anything, I was only seventeen..."

He looked at you without compassion. "Very bad years?" He let out a humorless laugh. "You were engaged during those years while I had nothing." He emphasized his words. "I was the same age, so your only justification will be that nonsense?"

"Yes, I was engaged but that's over." You replied firmly. "However, I'm sorry and there's nothing I can do to make up for it because for you nothing will ever be enough!" You raised your voice again, not remembering that both had an audience, it was a surprise that they didn't kick you out of the restaurant. "Besides, that happened fourteen fucking years ago, get over it!"

"Get over it? Get over it is what I've been trying for more than a decade and just when I'm overtaking you, living in my present and finding a good girl you come back to my life like a damn storm to truncate everything I built." He also raised his voice, letting everything come out of his system. "Sometimes I wish I had never met you."

His words went to pulverize every one of your bones. "I'm really sorry..." Your voice was barely a whisper.

"If you're so sorry then just leave me alone for good." He demanded, his tone lowered this time but just as painful.

"If that's what you want..." You replied quietly, you would have liked to be the first to leave but it seemed like your body was still clinging to something that was never going to be.

Spencer paid the bill before leaving you with your words stuck in your throat.

Reid walked alone down the street, the cold brushing his skin and then he looked at the broken cobblestones on the ground...

Would there ever be anything in the world that didn't remind him of you?

What if there was a woman (other than you) that he could love?

Maeve was the answer.

Or so he wanted to believe, because he knew very well that saying he loved Maeve was too soon to be real.

He thought he did, he really did. But then the memories of you coming back to haunt him and he realized that saying he loved any woman wasn't you would be blasphemous.

Spencer could never, ever loved someone the way he loved you. The way he maybe still love you...

And that brings us to the last question.

What if he still love you or you still love him?

Maybe he should make a call...

[bambambwi]

Back in the Spotlight?

context ; you had to cover a song for the 2024 mbc music festival.

"you agreed to WHAT ?!" you said both shocked and anxious at your staff.

"You can’t back out now." one of your staff members insisted, their tone firm.

“We already made the decision, you’re performing, and that’s final." another added, arms crossed as if to shut down any argument before it could begin.

You swallowed hard, anxiety creeping in. It had been a long time since you last performed as an idol, and the thought of stepping back onto that stage made your chest tighten.

With a deep breath, you exhaled sharply through your nose. “Fine. At least tell me what song I’m covering.”

“Move, by Taemin.”

You froze.

“…You’re joking” you said flatly, searching their faces for any sign that this was some kind of prank. But the silence that followed only confirmed the worst.

Letting out a slow sigh, you ran a hand through your hair, trying to process it. Like it or not… this was happening.

"Move, huh?” ji yong leaned against the frame, arms folded with a knowing smirk. “Not a bad choice.”

Your head snapped toward him. “You knew?”

He shrugged, pushing off the doorway and walking over to you. “I may have been the one who suggested it.”

Your jaw dropped. “You-...” Words failed you for a moment as you pointed at him in betrayal. “Why would you do that?”

ji yong chuckled, completely unfazed. “Because I know you can pull it off.” His voice was calm, steady, like he had no doubt in his mind. “And honestly? I think it’s about time you reminded everyone just how good you are.”

You wanted to argue. You wanted to protest. But the way he looked at you like made it hard to fight back.

Letting out another sigh, you muttered, “You’re lucky I like you.”

ji yong grinned. “I know.”

You spent weeks preparing and practicing for this performance, pouring every ounce of energy into perfecting each move. Move wasn’t just any song, it was Taemin’s. And of course, that meant it was hard.

The fluidity, the control, the precision,it demanded everything from you. Every practice session left you exhausted, muscles aching, mind racing with thoughts of whether you could really pull this off.

But backing out wasn’t an option. Not after how much time and effort had already been put into this. 

ji yong attended your practices from time to time, offering quiet observations and the occasional smirk when he caught you messing up. 

At first, it was just him watching from the side, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. But eventually, he started stepping in. Adjusting your posture. Helping you refine the details.

“You’re overthinking.” he murmured one evening, placing a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “Just feel the music.”

Easy for him to say. 

Still, having him around his guidance, his reassurance made it easier. Like some of the weight on your shoulders had been lifted, even if just a little.

And then, just when you thought his involvement couldn’t get any deeper, he decided to help with your stage outfit.

“This isn’t just about the performance.” he said, casually flipping through a rack of clothes. “It’s about the presence. how you own the stage before you even start moving.”

You gave him a flat look. “Since when were you my stylist?”

He grinned, “Since you agreed to perform.”

You sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. Your boyfriend was into this more than you were.

It was cute, the way he carefully picked through the outfits, tilting his head in thought as if he was styling himself. 

“You know...” you teased, crossing your arms, “I feel like you’re having more fun with this than I am.”

ji yong didn’t even hesitate. “Of course I am! If you’re gonna be on stage, you might as well look good doing it.”

You shook your head, but you couldn’t fight the warmth spreading in your chest. Maybe you were still nervous, but with him so invested in every little detail, it was starting to feel less like pressure and more like excitement.

The day of the performance had arrived. You sat at your vanity desk, staring blankly at your reflection, hands resting on your lap. The nerves settled deep in your stomach, making it hard to focus on anything.

You barely noticed when ji yong walked in, but you felt the warmth of his presence as he stood behind your chair. Then, his hands found your shoulders, grounding you.

“It’s going to be okay..” he murmured, his voice steady and reassuring. “You’ll do just fine.”

Before you could respond, he leaned down, his face close to yours, and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. When you turned to look at him, he was smiling, calm, confident, like he had no doubt in you at all.

And somehow, just that small gesture made it a little easier to breathe.

You let out a slow breath before standing up, turning towards him, your arms naturally found their way around him. You stayed like that for a moment, letting the warmth of his embrace calm the nerves buzzing under your skin.

Neither of you spoke. You just rested against him, feeling the way his hands gently rubbed your back in silent reassurance.

Then, a knock on the door.

“It’s time.”

You exhaled, pulling away just enough to meet ji yong’s gaze. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, a soft, lingering kiss that felt like everything you needed in that moment.

When he pulled away, his eyes were full of quiet confidence. With a final squeeze of his hand, you turned and walked out. It was time to take the stage.

ji yong stood backstage with your staff, his eyes fixed on you as you performed. He watched intently, a quiet smile tugging at his lips, his hands occasionally giving out small, appreciative claps.

The staff members around him exchanged glances, some quietly giggling at how adorably invested he was.

“Look at him.” one whispered, nudging another. “He’s like a proud boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“He really is!” another murmured, grinning at how ji yong seemed to be fully caught up in your performance.

Were you even nervous? The way you commanded the stage, your every movement exuding confidence, left no room for doubt. Your presence was unmatched and effortless. It was as if you’d never left the spotlight at all.

As the performance continued, he couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. He’d known you had it in you, but watching it unfold before him was something else. he was just lucky enough to be there to witness it.

Once you were done, the transformation was subtle, but ji yong noticed it immediately. You shifted from the fierce, captivating presence you had commanded on stage to your usual, shy self as your staff hurried to fix your hair and makeup for picture time.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Even as they worked, adjusting your hair and touching up your makeup, ji yong’s gaze never wavered. He was mesmerized by the way you effortlessly slipped between the two sides of yourself.

Despite the quiet change, there was no denying that you still held him, and everyone else, captivated. Even in moments like these, you were unforgettable.

ji yong stayed back, not wanting to disturb you or your team as they took pictures. He admired you from afar, content to let you shine in that moment. but the staff members nudged him.

“Come on, take a picture with her.” they urged with a grin.

How could he refuse? You looked absolutely stunning today, and he wasn’t about to miss a chance to capture this moment with you.

With a soft chuckle, ji yong slipped into position beside you. His arm naturally found its way around your waist, pulling you closer as you leaned your head against his shoulder. You positioned your hands into a heart shape, your smile bright and warm, radiating everything he loved about you.

Once the staff finished taking pictures, ji yong didn’t let go. Instead, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer as he leaned his head against your neck from behind. The weight of his embrace felt comforting, like a safe haven after the chaos of the performance.

“You did better than expected.” he mumbled, his voice warm and filled with admiration.

You stared down at the ground, a soft smile playing on your lips, but you didn’t respond. His words were more than enough, he didn’t need a reply.

Before finally letting you go, ji yong pressed a gentle peck to the side of your neck, lingering there for a moment. “I’m coming with you, I don’t feel like saying goodnight just yet.”

You didn’t argue. You were perfectly fine with the thought of spending the rest of the day by his side.

Later, you found yourself snuggling on the couch with ji yong, the soft hum of the TV in the background as you scrolled through your phone. The adrenaline from the performance was finally starting to fade, but the excitement lingered, especially when you noticed the pictures from your performance flooding the media.

Every swipe seemed to bring another shot of you on stage, your fierce energy captured perfectly in every frame.

ji yong noticed the photos on your screen and let out a chuckle, his arms tightening around you a little more as he leaned closer to see.

“Guess the whole world saw you kill it today !” he said, his tone with a hint of pride.

You smiled, not knowing whether to feel embarrassed or flattered by the attention. 

“Guess I did..” you said, your eyes still glued to your phone as you scrolled.

[sturniololuvz]

Omg Hii!! I love all your sturniolo little sister fics and k was wondering if you could do one where she is maybe 14 or 15 and she goes to get her wisdom teeth removed and shes really scared and they comfort her while she’s getting them out and after she’s done? Sorry that was a really long sentence 😂!

lmaoooooo yes

“Wisdom Teeth & Secrets”

Sturniolos x sister

Warnings : none

Y/N was freaking out.

She sat in the dentist’s office, gripping the armrests of the chair like she was about to be executed. Her heart was pounding, her palms were sweaty, and her brothers—Matt, Nick, and Chris—were standing around her, trying (and failing) to calm her down.

“Dude, it’s not that bad,” Nick said, sitting on the stool next to her.

Y/N shot him a glare. “Not that bad? They’re gonna rip my teeth out.”

Chris smirked. “Technically, they’re cutting them out.”

“CHRIS!” Matt smacked the back of his head.

“What? I’m just being factual.”

Y/N groaned, throwing her head back. “I wanna go home.”

Matt grabbed her hand. “You’re gonna be okay, bug. I promise.”

She exhaled shakily. “But what if—”

“Nope,” Chris cut her off, grabbing her other hand. “No ‘what ifs.’ You’re gonna go in there, let them do their thing, and when you wake up, we’re taking you to get ice cream.”

Nick nodded. “And you’ll probably say some dumb shit while you’re still drugged up, so honestly, it’ll be fun for us.”

Y/N groaned again. “I hate you all.”

Matt grinned. “Love you too, kid.”

Then the nurse walked in, smiling kindly. “Alright, Y/N, we’re ready for you.”

She froze.

Matt squeezed her hand. “You got this.”

Chris nudged her. “Be a champ.”

Nick smiled. “We’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Y/N exhaled, nodded hesitantly, and followed the nurse.

When she woke up, she was high as hell.

The first thing she saw was Matt sitting next to her, and she immediately burst into tears.

“Mattyyyy,” she slurred, grabbing his face.

Matt blinked. “Oh, God.”

Nick and Chris walked in at that exact moment, and Y/N immediately reached for Chris.

“CHWISSY!”

Chris cackled. “Oh, she’s gone.”

Nick pulled out his phone, already recording.

“Do you feel okay?” Matt asked gently, brushing her hair back.

Y/N sniffled dramatically. “I love you soooo much.”

Chris snorted. “Dude, we know.”

She turned to Nick, her face dead serious. “You’re my favorite.”

Chris gasped. “EXCUSE ME?”

Matt raised a brow. “Since when?”

Y/N just giggled, leaning into Nick. “He’s so cute.”

Nick lost it. “What?”

Chris looked offended. “You think Nick is cute? I’M cute.”

Y/N waved him off. “Shhh, you’re annoying.”

Matt smirked. “She’s finally being honest.”

Chris gasped again. “Bro, I’ve been carrying you all day, and this is the thanks I get?”

Then Y/N giggled. “I have a secret.”

Nick’s eyes widened. “Oh, let’s hear it.”

Matt warned, “Dude, don’t take advantage of her being drugged up.”

Chris ignored him. “Nah, spill.”

Y/N grinned, looking mischievous. “I stole your hoodie last week.”

Chris gasped for the third time. “I KNEW IT!”

Nick laughed. “Oh, she’s wild.”

Y/N pointed at Matt. “You have a crush on that girl from the grocery store.”

Matt’s face turned red. “What?”

Chris and Nick turned to him immediately. “Wait, WHO?”

Matt groaned. “Y/N, shut up.”

She giggled. “I saw you looking at her.”

Chris laughed so hard he had to sit down. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER.”

Nick wiped a fake tear. “I’m so proud.”

Y/N yawned, leaning into Matt’s chest. “I wanna go home.”

Matt sighed, rubbing her back. “Yeah, okay, let’s get you out of here.”

Chris smirked. “I’m posting all of this.”

Nick grinned. “Oh, for sure.”

Y/N mumbled, “I hate you guys.”

Matt kissed the top of her head. “Love you too, bug.”

[paintedscales]

8 A 8 aaaaa, thank you!!

um!! i have some lovelies that i would love to share!!!

@blossomblade -- i have to show off my partner of fifteen years. other than just being the best person i know (totally not biased), elika is a bombastic character i think more people should get to know! he's been stepping out into doing more stuff with his character, and a lot of his gposes are honestly really good, too.

@nicholerose92 -- one of the sweetest people i have had the absolute pleasure of meeting here on tumblr since i joined. host of the glitter and story halls, it has been an absolute blast getting back into rp and storytelling. likewise, the stories that have been made about all her characters are so well done -- if you have time to read them, you should!

@ainyan -- has such evocative writings involving her ship with thancred; each piece i've read it such a delight. not to mention that kali is just absolutely gorgeous, and the poses that are made are so lovely and tender and great all around.

@sasslett -- also an amazing writer, and has such dedication to it to have an amazing series of events and histories to reference in regards to jess and her partner, varrus. plus, there are so many soft and sweet gposes that are really worth checking out! and! i can't forget about the fact that she literally organizes one of the neatest little ffxiv swap events that allows ffxiv creatives of any passion and skill level to make stuff for one another in the spirit of making stuff for one another!

@sylaurin -- if you haven't seen kab, iskra, or thiago yet, you should! there are so many awesome gposes that sylaurin makes -- many humorous, and many also just rich with storytelling that i'm always happy to see more of.

@naejlas-axe -- an amazing writer with a fun viera to bully. i have thoroughly enjoyed being able to read and learn about lejo, not to mention also having rp'd with him in the past. did you know they're also drawing now, too? \ o w o / sketchies and drawings to get into the swing of things, and i'm enjoying getting to see that work get done and put out there! :D

@shadesofblades -- art friend \ o w o / !! has awesome art with bold lines and puts such attention to detail -- especially in au ra scales (my weakness when it comes to people that draw au ra)! but also, you should learn about baatu or aoki! they're the ones i see -- or at least notice -- the most! and i enjoy learning more about them the times i see them!

@mimble-sparklepudding -- another one of the sweetest people i've had the pleasure of meeting here on tumblr. the poetry and limericks he has made -- some just spur of the moment -- have all been so uplifting and have been a needed laugh whenever i come across them. plus, all the surprise poems and limericks made for others? absolute sweetheart for doing that. ; ;

@finishing-touch -- i mean... look, if you haven't seen finishing-touch's gifs just yet, you really should. i mean, they are so well done in the fact that a lot of them are rich with characterization, are shot well, and there are ones that you can tell a lot of work and love go into. genuinely an inspiration when it comes to me shooting for gifs and getting them set up on my end. and not just gifs! i've also used that inspiration to make little movies on my own time!

@icehearts -- esca is gorgeous and the gposes that come from icehearts are so lovely when it comes to getting everything set up. i enjoy greatly getting to see esca any time she shows up, and just how the shots are often taken care of to really make such awesome pieces.

@valdiis -- has amazing writing that i've gotten to chip away at as i work on getting through all the entries i have left of ffxiv write 2024. i've enjoyed aeluan for a while, and getting to see more characters written and detailed are just...so...!!! well done. i love the mixing of humor into the writing i've gotten to consume, but also the contrast when it comes to the more serious stuff as well.

also, shoutout to my fellow estinien enjoyers!

@janzoo -- the first wolstinien shipper that reached out to me, and has such a cute polycule between drakyr, aymeric, and estinien. i love that there's just a lot of sweet indulgences in the gposes that have been made -- especially just setting up aymeric and estinien in gpose to be sole focuses in new outfits, or outfits that just look nice.

@humblemooncat -- ki'to and u'lohi are absolute amazing sweethearts with their polycules. plus, i've seen an amazing evolution of gposing since i first joined and met humblemooncat, and have been so happy to see the growth.

@vasheden -- another person i've been glad to see the visible improvement of when it comes to gposing! i've seen so many good gposes over time, and i love how i've just seen them get better and better, especially when it comes to the tender moments between kaia and aymeric (and estinien whenever he decides to stick around :9)

@amalthea-felsblood -- makes wonderful little vignettes and stories of amalthea and estinien that make them look so sweet and tender between one another. there's a lot of care and attention that goes into setting up those poses and stories.

@mrlarkstin -- has amazing gposes! not to mention has a cute polycule with their wol, estinien, and vrtra who have a cute little bean of a daughter. seriously the composition of the gposes that are made are so good and i strongly recommend looking at them.

SHAMELESS PLUGGING - FFXIV STYLE!

It's that time of year again! Here are just a FEW of the amazing blogs available to follow in the FFXIV community here on Tumblr! (A lot of them can also be found on Bluesky--two for one shot!) If you're not following them, YOU SHOULD BE!

@lynxden -- gorgeous shots, amazing information on lion dancing and the history of it, even some goddamn STOP MOTION ANIMATION with FFXIV screenshots, that is astounding.

@coldshrugs -- a gorgeous WoL and some absolutely amazing screenshots, I am just... *sigh*

@darcar -- a Viera as pretty as Anna (and I rarely say that...)

@cerbaros -- the GPose just gets better and better and BETTER...!

@zylphiacrowley -- ever wanted to go through the MSQ in graphic novel format? Zyl's got you covered.

@mist-touchedxiv -- come get you some Viera lore theorizing and some really interesting backstory!

@abyssalmermaiden -- legit I wonder what people drink to come up with such absolutely fucking cool character ideas...

@iron-sparrow -- why are you not following them? Why are you not following them? YOU'RE MISSING YEIN!

@ink-dreams-ffxiv -- the fishercatte is so CUTE!

@oneiroy -- not only do they put up some hella good mods, they take AMAZING shots.

@verysmallcyborg -- and if you follow Ryss, you have to follow Fornax so you can get the complete "butches in love" package!

@nolanel-corbeaux -- you will meet the skink and you will thank me for directing you to this one.

@ser-corviknight -- Avery has such FUN characters and one of the most unique WoLs I've ever seen.

@ahollowgrave -- I will always and forever push more people to follow Odette.

@feralkwe -- watching Feral get into GPose crimes is almost as delightful as reading their fanfic.

@arty-ffxiv -- when you meet Kupa, you'll wonder why it took so long to follow.

@drownedlight - this is really just a gateway to their AO3 page, but I know the fanfic will lure in just... OH so many...

@sezja -- a violet Hrothgal is the first beauty to greet you, isn't that a delight???

DO YOU KNOW MORE??? ADD MORE!!! GIVE ME MORE WONDERFUL, TALENTED PEOPLE TO FOLLOW!!!

(Like you @luck-and-larceny I see you posting more Malika lately...!)

[truelotus]

If Looks Could Kill — 07

Yandere! Sosuke Aizen x f! reader

warnings: no warnings.

a/n: haha I had fun writing this, I love writing these kinds of parts.

Context: Shinji finds you and your son, informs you that Aizen was sent to muken. A couple of months later, you take yourself and your son to muken so Aizen can meet you both once again.

“Come on darling, You’ve got to do it like this.” You performed a kido spell, trying to show your son how it is properly done.

It has been 115 years ever since the birth of your child, he was born with talent. So training him was easy but lacked the skills of kido, just like you.

He is a strong and tall child, he is around the same age as Toshiro Hitsugaya—you’ve never actually seen him but this is only an example—

He enrolled himself into the Shino Academy to become a soul reaper, of course he was questioned when his classmates found out about his last name from the higher ups. But he only answered that you were his distant relative.

You told him to do so, you did not want to be involved with the soul society any longer after giving birth to your son, you wanted to focus on protecting him and becoming the best mother possible for him. He of course knows your past and just who his father is, he’s made sure to never get noticed by his father since he hates that man, your son never wanted to get close to Sosuke.

You lived in the world in the living with him, in Karakura town. You’ve noticed the presence of your old comrades and you made sure to not cross paths with them. You were too ashamed to talk to them ever again.

You were fully aware of what happened in Karakura town, Sosuke had battled the others recently. You chose to not help, even though you oh so badly wanted to, you did not have the courage to fight alongside the gotei 13.

You just couldn’t go against the man who you love dearly.

knock knock

“Were you expecting someone ma?” Your son said, immediately stopping his movements and you as well stopped. You weren’t expecting anyone, you don’t even have any friends here in the world of the living so you were confused.

“I actually wasn’t expecting anybody.. I’m going to go see who it is.” Your son nodded, you walked away and he followed behind you. He was going to protect you, just in case the person tried to attack you.

Your son was a complete momma’s boy—of course theres a healthy and normal relationship between you two, not those gross mom and son relationships—

“Can I help you?” You opened the door slightly, just enough to see the persons face.

Your eyes widened when you saw the man who you once betrayed in the past, Hirako Shinji.

You tried to close the door as fast as possible, but Shinji blocked the door with his shoe. “Oh come on Y/N, is that really such a way to greet a old friend?” Shinji put his hand on the door, forcing it open.

“S-Shinji..” Your son noticed your uncomfortable stance, so he jumped in, pushing you aside. He put his arm out over you.

“Ma, who is this guy?”

“Ma?”

Shinji had quite a shocked look on his face, this kid not only resembled you but he resembled of that man as well..

“So you’ve got a kid now huh, Y/N?” Shinji pushed your son aside, he stepped closer to your face. Smirking at your timid expression, it’s been a while since he’s last seen you and honestly he didn’t expect for him to find you here. He thought Kisuke was really just pulling his leg when he told you that you lived here.

“And what is this?” Shinji accepted the paper that Kisuke had given to him, he lowered his hat down but he was still able to see his eyes slightly.

“You’ll find the woman you love here, she should be there. She doesn’t leave her home so you should be able to catch her! Tell her I said hello!” Shinji widened his eyes, he didn’t think that you were still alive. He thought Sosuke drove you out and that resulted in you killing yourself or something.

It was stupid of him to believe Kisuke so easily and quickly, but when he was given the opportunity to see you once more; he just couldn’t resist himself. You betrayed him and the others, your captain, his love, everything. But he knew.. deep down that, that was not your character.. that is why he continued to love you after all these years, he still remembers the way you looked at him that night..

“Shinji.. please leave. I don’t want any trouble with you, please just.. go.” You balled your fists, holding back tears. You felt ashamed that you were the one holding back your tears, why were you trying to act the innocent one? You were far from innocent, you were no better than Aizen Sosuke.. so why are you here acting all anxious.

It pained Shinji that you were pushing him away.

He should hate you.

He should be angry with you.

He should have killed you on the spot.

But he just.. couldn’t.

He’s loved you ever since, he knew he could never have you. He knew that with just by the look of your face, the way you looked up to Sosuke, his lieutenant. The way your cheeks turned red when talking to him, how you would fidget when he was around.

He knew he could never have you the same way Sosuke did, How embarrassed he felt. He was jealous of his own lieutenant at the time, his lieutenant was loving the woman he should have loved, he was kissing the lips of the woman he loves, making love to her. It all should have been him.

He could never hate you.

The only person he can truly hate was Aizen Sosuke.

He took everything from him.

He even gave you a child.

A child he did not know he even had.

“You’re so dumb sometimes, Y/N.” You stopped your tears when he said that, you wiped your own tears and tried to clean up the little snot you had with your sleeve.

“I came all this way just to see you, and yet you’re here pushing me away. You ain’t as nice as before I’ll tell ya that!”

You and your son were confused, especially your son. He’s never met this man after all, so it’s only natural that he is completely lost.

“I don’t care what you did in the past, I know it’s not what your soul truly wanted to do. That’s why I ain’t putting a finger on you. I never will and never have.”

He’s right, The last time you and Shinji were together. You two fought each other.. you remember very well that he never tried to attack you, he was defending himself from your attacks.

He never wanted to fight you that night, it pained him that you were still fighting him, just for Sosuke.

“Look, I’m not here to catch up or anything. I’m here to inform you about Aizen.” When hearing the last name of Sosuke, you couldn’t help but feel like something heavy came down on your chest. Were you really prepared for whatever he was going to say next?

Your son walked up to you, he noticed you were afraid. He grabbed your hand, letting you know that he has your back; that everything would be okay.

“He’s been sentenced to muken, I forgot for how long but he’s there now so.”

Shinji turned to leave, he really could not handle this anymore. He came to see you, but he couldn’t face you. He felt ashamed that maybe he could have a chance now, a chance that he could love you.

But judging from your reaction, you were still deeply in love with his ex-lieutenant.

“Shinji, wait.” You put your hand out, grabbing his arm, stopping him from leaving. You wanted to say sorry, sorry for ever betraying him, letting Aizen use him for an experiment. For breaking his trust and love.

“I’m sorry, about everything. I understand if you don’t ever want to forgive me! I’m just.. sorry Shinji.” Your breath was shaky—as well with your words— you looked down even while talking to him.

Shinji had a shocked little look on his face, there was a bit of a silence. Then suddenly, Shinji let out a loud laughter. You looked up slowly, confused on why he was laughing so hard.

“You haven’t changed, I’m glad.”

Sosuke Aizen, sat alone in the cold, dark walls of Muken. The prison that can cage his body, but not his thoughts. It was a place of complete isolation, isolation from the world he once sought to rule over.

The silence was suffocating, he really could do nothing but stay there, alone with his own thoughts. His mind, that is usually sharp and calm, now drifted to places he never thought he would ever think of.

In his solitude, his thoughts returned to one specific part, you. His lover, the woman who was supposed to be the queen of his newly built world. Aizen had very little regrets, but his biggest regret would have to be killing you off.

It was pointless now, he was never going to create that new world, at least not for now. He killed you in respect of your own wishes, but now that means nothing.

He wasn’t ruler of any world, he couldn’t rebuild this world, he was restricted from his power, he didn’t have you by his side. A man is nothing without his woman, that is what he thought, and you were once his woman. Now he’s here, only able to see you in his own thoughts.

He wondered on how things would have been if he never killed you that day, would things have been different? was killing you his whole mistake? is that why is he is prisoned in this wretched place.

The thought gnawed him, the bitterness of abandonment and the ache of loss mixing in together, it was something that not even Aizen could conquer with his great intellect and power. The thought of your warmth, your smile, your loyalty, everything.. was now the only comfort he longed for. The idea of being with you again, felt like a dream he would never be able to reach again.

Just as his thoughts were consuming him once again, the air around him shifted.

The soft sound of footsteps coming closer, followed by another pair of footsteps. His heart clenched, a flicker of hope firing him up.

He blinked his eyes lightly, making sure his vision was clear before seeing the person here before him.

And there, standing right in front of him, was you.

Your presence was unexpected, but oh so real. You stole the breath from his lungs, but then.. he noticed someone else. Someone who he recognized.

He looked at the young boy, then at you. Looking at the resemblance between you two, it was truly amazing.. and most obvious that.. this was your child.

How could he not catch it? He was certain that he remembered your face quite well, it is not like Aizen to make a mistake on a person like this.

“So this.. was your child all along.”

You nodded softly and slowly, your gaze never leaving his. He looked different.. he no longer had his glasses and his hair was slicked back, his eyes, half-lidded. You were a bit ashamed that you thought he looked cute with his new look.

“Our child, all along.” You said with a steady voice, Sosuke’s eyes opened up slightly, he looked at you then at your child once more. This was.. his child?

“I never got to tell you.”

“Our child..”

The words echoed in his head over and over again. He starred at his son’s face for quite some time, his son seemed to be.. angry. He could only assume that his mother told him what Aizen had done to his mother. He respected his son for that, standing up to his own father while knowing what he is capable of.

Aizen never paid attention to his son when he was still a part of the gotei 13, he never needed his son—who he did not know was his son at the time— in his plan, so he ignored him. He was already set with his plan and did not need the use of anybody else.

For once, Aizen felt something other than control. He had always prided himself on his unshakeable composure, but now..

The woman he loves dearly, and the child who he never knew he had, was breaking down the walls he built over himself. He could not describe this feeling, but he did not like it one bit..

“What do you want from me now?” He said with a steady and stern tone.

You stepped forward, while your son followed of course. Your steps were hesitant but sure, “I’m not here to ask you anything, I just wanted to see you, how you were. And your son was quite curious on how’d you react.”

Sosuke’s lips curved upwards, his son was protecting his mother, from him.

Sosuke stood there, his mind was spinning—slightly— he had spent quite some time in this prison of isolation, wrapped with only his thoughts. But now with this new reality standing before him, he was not sure what to do. He desperately wanted to be with you again, he needed you by his side, he wanted to parent his child with you.

But there was one thing Aizen was certain of.

He was no longer alone.

[delilahsturniolo]

— ୨୧ wildflower . . . m.s

in which . . . matt takes care of his drunk ex girlfriend at a party, not expecting you to confess feelings you shouldn’t have.

warnings . . . unresolved angst, mentions of a break up, alcohol mentions, honestly really sad.

written by @delilahsturniolo. do not copy, steal, or modify my works. if you are taking any inspiration from this, please ask me first before posting and credit me in your description. happy reading! :)

matt had never expected to see you again, especially not like this.

the bass of the music pulsed through the floor as he made his way through the crowd of intoxicated strangers. matt wasn’t even sure why he had come. maybe out of obligation to his friends, the feeling of being left out, or maybe because deep down, he still searched for you in every room he walked into. matt told himself he was over you. It had been six months since you both ended things. six months of forced smiles, of avoiding old songs that reminded him of the way you used to hum along, of ignoring the aching loneliness that crept into his chest when he least expected it.

and then, just as he turned the corner—he saw you.

you were slumped on a couch in the corner of the crowded living room that flashed with colorful lights, a half-empty red plastic cup dangling lazily from your hand. your hair, which was perfect a few moments ago—was now a disheveled mess, your makeup was also smudged unintentionally. you were laughing with a guy, a guy you didn’t even know, a guy you met 10 minutes ago. and that pissed matt off.

the random teenage boy giggled at whatever drunken nonsense slipped out of your mouth, but when matt looked into your glassy eyes—he saw nothing but sadness, and hurt. it was absolutely breaking his heart to see you in this state, something twisted in his gut, you never ever drank like this, at least the old y/n wouldn’t.

without thinking, matt stepped forward, brushing past people until he reached you. he stepped in front of the guy you were talking to, not giving the slightest fuck that he interrupted your conversation with him. how could that boy just—stand there and let you do this to yourself? matt leaned down, delicately tapping your cheek and placing that same hand on your shoulder afterward. “y/n.” he spoke.

you slowly lifted your head, squinting at him as if he was a mirage or hallucination of some sort, your mind was foggy. your lips parted, “matt?” you slurred. matt swallowed thickly. “yeah, it’s me.” he reassured. your face crumpled, and for a moment—he thought you were going to cry. instead, you let out a breathless laugh and reached for his face, your fingers clumsily grazing matt’s jaw. “i misssseddd youuu, i knew you’d be hereee!” you laughed stupidly, slurring your words. matt frowned, noticing how you were barely able to sit upright. he touched your arm, rubbing it soothingly, suddenly you felt a familiar sensation of warmth and comfort again, even when you were drunk. “come on, let’s get you some water.”

you immediately pouted at him. “nooo, i like it here! ‘cause you’re here!” matt ignored the way your words sent a sharp pang through his chest, he crouched beside you. “you’re drunk, love.” he cursed himself in his head for letting that familiar name slip out, he was just so used to calling you that. “so what? it’s fun when i’m drunk!” you giggled, swaying slightly.

“no, y/n. you’re hurting. you’re coping with alcohol.” matt spoke, his voice breaking slightly. for a second, something flickered in your eyes—like a moment of clarity cutting through the haze. but then, you let out a dramatic sigh, letting your head fall against matt’s shoulder. “i miss you.” you whispered weakly. matt’s breath caught. he should have let it slide, brushed it off as drunk talk. but the way you said it—like it was something you had been holding in for so long, something too painful to admit sober, made it absolutely impossible to ignore. “y/n…” matt hesitated.

you lifted your head, your expression hazy yet heartbreakingly sincere. “do you ever think about us?” you murmured. all the time, he wanted to say. every damn day. he thought about you so much it killed him, you were the only thing that consumed his thoughts, and his heart. but instead of responding to your drunken question, he looked away. “let’s get you home, yeah?”

you whined in protest but didn’t resist as he helped you up. you were very unsteady, leaning heavily against him as the two of you navigated through the party. people stared, some whispering, but matt didn’t care at the slightest. all that mattered was getting you out of there safely. the cold night air hit you guys as he led you outside. you shivered, and without thinking, matt shrugged off his hoodie and draped it over your shoulders instinctively. you blinked up at him, eyes wide, like he had just done something earth-shattering.

“thank you for taking care of me, you always do.” you said. matt looked away, “old habits.” he shrugged. you reached for his hand, your fingers lacing through his. it was instinctual, natural, like muscle memory. and gosh, he wanted to pull away. he wanted to tell you that this—whatever this was, wasn’t fair. but you looked at him with so much raw vulnerability that he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“i still love you,” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. his heart stopped upon hearing this. “every single day,” you continued. “and it sucks. it really, really sucks, because i see you everywhere. i hear your stupid favorite songs in coffee shops, and i still order your dumb vanilla lattes because they remind me of you. and i know i messed up, but, i don’t know how to stop loving you.” matt clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stay still, to not let his emotions take control. “you’re drunk, y/n. you don’t mean that shit.”

you let out a humorless, dry laugh. “drunk words are sober thoughts, right?” more like—drunk words, sober heart. matt closed his eyes. he wanted to believe that you were just saying these things because of the alcohol, but deep down, he knew better than that. and you were right, these were things you were truly feeling.

you were hurting. just like he was.

and for a brief, fleeting moment, he considered telling you the truth—that he still loved you too, that he had spent every night wondering if you missed him even half as much as he missed you. that maybe, just maybe, you guys could find your way back to each other. but then he remembered why they broke up in the first place. the late-night fights. the misunderstandings. the way they tore each other apart even when they swore they wouldn’t. so instead, he exhaled shakily and forced himself to say, “you just need to sleep this off.”

a tear slipped down your cheek, but you nodded. “okay..” your voice broke. matt’s gaze softened as he wiped your tears, feeling a pang of sympathy and guilt within him. he helped you into the passenger seat of his car, buckled you in, and drove in silence. every now and then, he’d glance at you, at the girl he once called his forever, and silently wondered in solemn if love alone had ever been enough.

when matt finally reached your apartment, he walked you to your door, making sure you got inside safely. you turned to him, looking heartbreakingly sad in his oversized hoodie. “will i remember this in the morning?” she asked softly. he forced a small smile. “i don’t know.” you hesitated, then whispered, “would you…want me to?” matt swallowed the lump in his throat. every part of him screamed to say yes, clawing at his brain to just grab you and kiss you tightly, break down in tears and apologize for everything.

but he knew better.

“goodnight, y/n. get some sleep for me okay?”

and with that, matt turned and walked away—leaving behind the only girl he had ever loved, even when it broke him to do so. some people weren’t meant to stay.

just like wildflowers, they were beautiful, but they didn’t last forever.

© delilahsturniolo do not copy, re use, or modify any of my works.

taglist

[randooffthestreet]

Burn

1k words, implied character death

If Soap had to describe his experience growing up in a small town in Scotland in one word, he would call it suffocating. All of his teenage years were spent fantasizing leaving and seeing the world, and becoming comfortable in his own skin. He knew that he would never be happy there, where everybody knew everybody else’s names and family drama.

Meeting the military recruiter was like being handed a key, a way out. Consequences be damned, it was better to die in the field than in that town, his life never amounting to anything.

He had broken his parents’ hearts when he told them he’d been approved to join. With some forged documents, he was able to join a year before he was supposed to. While joining the military is still probably one of his best ideas to the date, it wasn’t…quite as freeing as he had hoped.

Many of the jokes were the same from the other recruits who had been force fed toxic masculinity, poking fun at the women and people who were different from them much in the same way as the people in his little town had.

Soap could mask it well enough, he had practice.

When he left his old team, he couldn’t help but be relieved. Sure, he’d gotten along with some of them, but they weren’t his friends, and honestly, they were jerks. They’d make fun of his restlessness and accent, and anything they could really. They’d given him his callsign. Soap. He made up some bullshit story about how he could clean out rooms to tell his new teammates, but unfortunately, it was from a…combination of things he tried to not dwell on.

His new team, the 141, seemed to take his words at face value. They seemed nice enough, and hadn’t made fun of him yet. Honestly, he thought he would have tougher skin by now, but he felt like a child waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A few months into his new team, he slowly started to relax. Sure, his lieutenant had told him “English, MacTavish” a few times, but it was pretty clear he didn’t mean anything by it. It didn’t have the same bite to it as it used to. He would even consider them his friends.

Las Almas solidified his comfort in his team, even if it was possibly the worst experience in his military career. Graves had betrayed them, and Los Vaqueros. When he had gotten away from the gunfire, he was fully expecting to have to brave the streets alone, especially when he didn’t get a response from Ghost. Luckily, Ghost was always a contrary bastard.

He felt bone deep relief when he heard his voice over the coms, sounding concerned of all things. He called him Johnny. Nobody had done that in a very long time. “Solid.” He said gruffly. Despite everything, Soap couldn’t be less alone. He learned a few things that night.

One, Ghost of all people loved dad jokes. Two, Soap hated Americans. And three, Soap hadn’t shoved his feelings deep down enough at all.

Afterwards, learning that Ghost could’ve left him at any time, that Gaz and Price were planning on backing them up as soon as they heard, and that Alejandro and Rudy trusted them made Soap feel like himself for the first time in his life.

Leaving Mexico may have been the hardest thing he’d had to do in his entire life.

As the months passed by, he felt even more suffocated. It seemed that once he was able to be himself for a fleeting moment, it was so much harder and that much more devastating to shove himself back in a pristine and military friendly box.

His friendship with Ghost was so different. Hard earned through blood, sweat, and tears. They were a pair, never just Ghost and just Soap, but Soap and Ghost.

He picked up pretty quickly that the Lieutenant didn't talk about his personal life at all, much less his love life, but the banter, the flirting, the lingering gazes and touches that burned like fire on his skin and warmed his insides into goo was driving him crazy.

Sometimes, Ghost was lingering warmth on bedsheets, the scent you turned to and buried your face in the pillows to inhale to think of a lover for a few moments longer.

Others, he was the firm press of a body against his back in early morning hours, undeniable and yet comforting all the same.

He was almost positive his feelings were returned.

…Almost.

And wasn't that almost holding him back from the greatest possible fucking thing to ever happen to him?

He wanted to tell Ghost, God, he wanted to so badly. His chest ached as he lay awake at night, thinking of what might be, of what future they could have together.

But sweet thoughts are poisoned and twisted into the hatred and prejudice he remembered, the casual jokes and pretend flirting that people of the same gender would do. What if it was a joke? What if Ghost just thought it was funny, that Soap was just joking too?

He thinks that might break him for good this time.

Still, it’s easy to fall into the banter, to fill his days with lingering touches. He was happier than he’d ever been.

…

He felt Ghost’s hands cradle his head, and he felt himself smile, leaning into the burning touch. It hurt more than usual, but he was content to shut his eyes and let the simmering flames stoke into a roar and lick at his skin, charring away his meat to his bones, to his heart that was always meant for this fire.

He knew that he’d always be safe in the all-consuming inferno that was the man he loved.

He exhaled, feeling black creep in and fuzz his thoughts. The last thing he knew was the hot hands on his face, warming his aching soul.

He’d been cold all his life, but this liquid warmth was all he’d ever needed.

[cocainesuperstarblog]

okay, so... i am sure this has been discussed at length here and i am late as fuck to add to it, but i also don't really care because I joined this fandom two months ago and the brain rot is not going anywhere soon.

~~~

about emmrich's romance - do we think he fell for rook at first sight? or did it gradually build when spending time together? what is the head canon for your playthrough(s) romancing him?

because, honestly, i can see both.

it's just the way he looks at rook right after they have introduced themselves, the way he asks them where they are from and to tell him of their journey's. and honestly? he does strike me as a man who would love those 'love-at-first-sight-stories', probably wished to experience something like this himself when he was younger. his mind considers the rarity of it happening, especially while time flies by, alas the hope never really leaves his heart. emmrich is a man of big feelings, we all know that, so simple crushes would probably go hard, too.

but then again...

emmrich is old-ish. he is a man of experience, with no small number of relationships that were both serious and casual, dalliances, and just a bit of fun. he's seen a lot over the years. would he still be able to be swept off of his feet that easily? rook flirts with him, and the attention is nice, so he flirts back. it's nothing serious until he realises that it is becoming something serious when they help him in the memorial gardens the first time. it is becoming something serious when they chase after the unknown necromancer and they comfort him after it is revealed it has been an old friend of his. it is becoming serious when they show interest in him beyond fancy words and dashing looks and do not mind his necromancy even if it frightens them.

i don't know, i just had to get this off of my chest... i just love my old necromancer so much, and i can not decide which route to go for with my own rook.

what do you think fits him best? love at first sight or gradually building with time or something else entirely? i would love to hear about it!

[kitts-mechanix]

Exactly! The fact that so many people are leaving the fandom is....it's tragic. Just about everyone I know is gone at this point. I've spent an entire decade teaching myself how to draw, creating entire worlds, writing immersive stories, things I hope people could love and appreciate the way I love and appreciate their works. So many things that I've yet to post even. I think one of the reasons this fandom used to be one of the safest, kindest fandoms is because we all knew what it was like to be put down, bullied, ostracised by others for loving "the weakest Pixar franchise" and especially Cars 2 AKA "Pixar's most hated movie". And the community was active and supported each other. Most of us were never famous, but that was okay because we did all of this for fun, not fame.

I honestly feel guilty, and even like a whiny baby, when I lament about no one comments on anything anymore. I can't recall the last time I got a meaningful comment on my work, or a comment about how the chapter of a story made them feel, details they loved, etc. I don't want to sound entitled, but I miss the days when people took the time to write out thoughtful comments and read. And the fact that no one really does that anymore, honestly just makes my writer's a block a lot worse. Why slave away on something no one will read? I'm not going to stop doing what I love. But it's harder now than it ever was before.

There were so many people in this fandom I loved who have moved on. Some were like sisters to me. Fizz was my inspiration too, and I've always appreciated my interactions with Blay. I lost two online sisters (I won't name them) who both fell down dark paths and cut me out for no reason. (A major FU to CC for turning one of them into Anakin Skywalker). I remember talking to people like Asphalt, RMS Olympic, or Fizz, or Eclipse, or Shadow and it felt like I was meeting a celebrity! I especially freaked out when I became close friends/sisters with some of them. This was back in 2017. I could have never foreseen what would happen after 2021....

And speaking of 2021, I think the reason we were so darn blessed to have one last year of what we once had, was because of one thing: Cars 2 10th anniversary. The diecast collection was exciting again. People made content and interacted again. We all had a renaissance. I had THE best Christmas since 2016. I thought this was the dawn of a new era. And then my 22nd birthday was pretty incredible too with all the cool Cars stuff I got, best one since my 16th! But that was the last spark. With one final burst, the fire had died out. I have not been able to rekindle it since.

And yeah I know about that monster being back, I really hope that petition will make a difference (last I checked it just needs 20 more sigs). I am slowly re-uploading my stuff (although a certain OC is probably never going to see the light of day again) but if things get too crazy I will honestly lock it behind "members only" for the sake of my mental health. I feel the fandom is either less welcoming to diverse people now or the welcoming sides are very extremist, neither of which I ever saw in my old days in the fandom. And while I'm not a fan of yaoi ships personally, I do believe people should have the freedom to create, express and share things like that. If people don't like something, they need to learn they have two options it: go back, or if you must, block it. It's that simple.

Anyway sorry for the ramble. I'm just glad someone gets it, you know? Honestly, I've been holding these thoughts in for a LONG time and now I just....I can't hold it back anymore.

I love this series and its characters with all my heart. Nothing could ever take that away. This franchise saved my life in 2015, just like G1 Transformers did back in August. But I cannot deal with what this fandom has become anymore.

RIP Cars fandom. 2006-2021

Fandom Problem #7581:

I hate how normalized harassment, bullying and overall being a dick has become normalized in fandom spaces. What's sick to me is that these people will harass and dox someone over the dumbest shit and then try to make themselves seem like they're morally right to do so, it's like it's a game to them. It honestly makes me feel like there's no point in being in fandoms at all if I could get harassed off a platform for the dumbest thing

[optimisticflicker]

MOTA 1st Birthday Bingo (Flying Fortress-Completed)

Hi everybody, here is my completed bingo for the Flying Fortress. You can still sign up for your own bingo or to understand the rules here. This was so much fun and so happy I got to see how talented this fandom really is. 💕 Thank you so much @mota-collab for creating this super fun event!!

(Shoutout to @onyxsboxes for my card and @avonne-writes for helping deliver it!!)

Disgust: one way, or another by @blixabargelds

Literally exactly as one of the tag says, a planned kidnapping gone wrong, and there are certain parts where even though not explicitly said you can feel the disgust coming off one of the main characters in a big scene, not only with he’s been asked to do but also just with the whole situation

Post-war: nothin’ but blue skies from now on by @majorbuckyegan

I love this fic so much and just the love that Gale and John have for each other and starting from zero until they find their footing again. Also just protective Gale, my beloved.

Send an ask to a creator you love highlighting your favorite work of theirs: @rambleonwaywardson

You can find the ask here but you should definitely check out all their work. I’ve fallen in love with their Clegan Astronaut AU and there have been little snippets from that universe and I just can’t wait to see what else is in atore for them!!

Genuine apology: What else should I be? (All apologies) by @heretoobsessstuff

Such a good fic, literally made me want to jump inside my device and give him the biggest hug and Gale my love, you have no need to apologize 

Anxiety: sweetest of the sunflowers by @avonne-writes

So so so so AMAZING! One of the first weeks I had read when I was getting into the fandom and man do I keep coming back to it. Wanna give both of the boys the biggest hug. 

Sharing a blanket: I Don’t Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon

Starts out simple enough, just sharing a blanket and bunk to conserve heat but then turns spicy. Honestly an amazing one-shot!

Breakfast in bed: “My Sun”, “My Home” by @optimisticflicker

Alright so an original work for this promotion, actually my first work that I’ve done after so many years of writer's block, specifically for this event. Was having trouble finding a bed in breakfast work so I just thought why not make one? Pure fluff. Literally the Buckies just being obsessed with each other. 

Pre-WW2: It’s different with you and me by @joeyalohadream

So adorable, and of course Gale getting involuntarily getting into trouble while Bucky wasn’t around and knowing it would be the same viceversa is very on brand for them. 

Coffee shop au: Baking Spirits Bright by Happy_Days19 on AO3

Such a cute coffee shop meet cute au, and Bucky pining over Gale while he’s stressed and just tries to make his day at least a bit better with his little messages is just so cute.