#honestly their choreo makes me so excited it's lit!

[binunus]

college bf!rocky

a/n next is our rock and aegyo king sorry sanha park minhyuk !! also I was going to post this yesterday :( but me and my roommates got a little too lit for valentine’s and I literally sat for 7 hours straight in zoom so I couldn’t finish it until now but !! I hope you loves enjoy!!

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 4.9k

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alright aright alrightttt

we’re gonna switch it up a little bit

add a little flavor

because as much as I would love to say that college bf!astro all got their partners in a cute and smooth sailing way

we all know relationships aren’t that easy

but before we get into how you and rocky met

major: dance

are we surprised? no

rocky is a prodigy in dance

he’s been dancing since he could walk

he started choreographing at age 6

it just made sense for him, like even his parents were like go pursue dance, you’re not a law or business type of kid

he can master any type of dance from jazz, to ballet, to street, to contemporary, to tango, whatever you can think of

he’s roommates with music tech!jinjin

jin literally takes care of him all the time bc rocky??? when he comes back to the apt after dance practice?? dead weight

only passes his gen ed classes bc eunwoo tutors him

if it weren’t for the boys, rocky would literally live in the dance studio

they make sure to drag him out for fun and food at least once a week

or they join and keep him company while he’s practicing

have they gotten noise complaints before while messing around in the dance studio? yes

rocky is loud alright, especially when he’s with astro

he’s a perfectionist, literally will not leave the studio until he’s 100% satisfied with his progress

oh the amount of times myungjun and jin nag at him to take care of his health

now now

you’re also a dance major

people could say that you and rocky are the top two dancers of your year

gasp a rivals to lovers au??? you betcha baby

granted you switched into a dancer major your second year so rocky technically had seniority

but boom baby as soon as you made your appearance, it rocked his world

now im not saying rocky’s cocky bc obviously he’s a cute hardworking humble boy

but was he used to always being placed first in evaluations or getting the highest marks??? yeah

so the first time you placed first and he placed second??? it lit a bit of a fire in him

he’s seen a ton of good dancers in his time, but no one has ever matched his capabilities better than you

there was an unspoken rivalry between you two, everyone knew about it 

you both always wanted to upstage the other

there was always a tension whenever you two were in the same room

but like...have either of you ever really talked to each other besides side remarks in class?

no

and it didn’t really help that the whole dance department basically pit you up against each other to see who was really the best dancer of your year

so you and rocky never had the proper introduction to a friendship, it just went straight to rivalry 

and then came the announcements for the end of the year showcase

and instead of putting on a solo, the department chairs decided to have you and rocky perform a duet

and you’ve never worked with him before so you were dreading the first time you met up

you to your roommate: ugh i can’t believe im partnered up with rocky, that arrogant rude–

your roommate: have you ever even talked to him, y/n? he’s actually very nice

you: no...but that’s what he wants you to believe!

your ego sorta just went along with the whole thing

and rocky was 15 min late to your meeting bc he was out eating food with the guys so your patience?? very thin

literally as soon as he stepped into the dance studio, the air turned stuffy

rocky could feel you glaring at him and he just smirks?? 

rocky: did I make you wait long y/n?

you: yeah you did

he liked pushing your buttons?? idk he just felt satisfaction knowing that any small of action of his affected you that much

it made him feel like he was winning or whatever

and god it took literally forever for you two to decide on a song and genre of performance for the showcase

you wanted contemporary, he wanted ballet

you were literally disagreeing so much on it that you had to ask Siri to flip a coin

and then you fought and said that Siri was rigged when it chose tails (contemporary)

so you decided on a happy? mix of both

rocky at the end of your first meeting: i get that we’re not exactly friends, y/n, but we have to work together so let’s at least be professional

you: i can if you can

rocky: fine

you two literally bicker like five year olds on a playground

even the guys are like ???? why are you being so childish ???

you have 2 months of preparation until the showcase and you start meeting once a week for choreography and practice since given the assignment

you two are pretty civil for the most part, you make the contemporary parts and he makes the ballet parts and then you combine it when you meet up and see how it can incorporate and complement each other

there’s not much joking around ?? like you know how rocky’s a clown when he’s teaching astro choreography?? it’s not like that at all

and honestly you two are too caught up in your rivalry and tension to notice that your styles really match and highlight each other well??

there’s definitely a lot of “i could do this better than you” from both sides

i repeat: you are children

and then there’s this one practice where you and rocky are trying a pas de deux for the first time

(i literally looked this term up, it’s basically what jungkook and jimin from bts did during the 2020 mma black swan intro...if you haven’t seen it, watch it bc it is perfection mmm chefs kiss)

and you don’t know if it’s because you didn’t have enough momentum or rocky didn’t prep himself enough for the lift but he ends up dropping you and you both fall

and you both immediately start blaming each other for the mishap

until you lift your hand to point at him and it just hurts

it’s like a switch goes off, rocky’s immediately concerned and he’s like gently taking your hand like: holy shit are you okay??

you shake your head and you’re wincing whenever you try to move it

you: ow fuck rocky, I think it’s sprained

and he suddenly feels so guilty, like he goes silent

you: can we stop for today? I’m gonna go get this checked out, make sure it’s not broken

rocky: do you want me to go with you?

you: no. I’ll see you next week.

boy he feels so bad, he texts you throughout the course of the following week asking if you’re okay, asking your roommate if you’re okay, telling you he’s sorry that he dropped you

you didn’t respond much, not bc you felt weird texting him–well, you did a little bit shhh–but bc you were beating yourself up for getting injured a month before the showcase

you show up to practice the next week with your wrist in a compression bandage

and he doesn’t greet you with a quip like he usually does, he immediately grabs your wrist (gently) and he’s like inspecting the bandage

you: uh...the doctor said I should be careful with it for a week or two if i want it to heal faster. so don’t bitch at me if i’m not going all out

rocky: y/n...i’m so sorry...I didn’t mean to injure you, it was my fault that we didn’t execute the pas de deux

you just shrug: it was both our faults...if I didn’t fall on my wrist maybe we could have avoided this little obstacle

rocky: if I caught you correctly, you wouldn’t have even fallen

you: are we really arguing right now about this??

and then the two of you just laugh??? 

this is the first real pleasant interaction you’ve had with him

and you notice like wow rocky had a nice smile

you: i should be back to normal before the showcase so we should be fine

rocky: don’t push it though while we’re practicing alright? if your wrist starts hurting then stop, and don’t even think about doing any floor choreo

the atmosphere between you and rocky change after that

he becomes pretty concerned about your recovery–and maybe it’s bc he still blames himself for the cause of it

each night before your set practice days, he always shoots you a text asking how you’re feeling and how your wrist is doing

he brings ice packs, painkillers, and extra bandages during your practices just in case you need it

and you’re actually pretty touched by his concern

about two weeks before the showcase, your wrist is back to full movement and you’re like excited to actually practice to your best ability

from now on you see each other twice a week, just to get that detail and fine-tuning perfected

rocky’s still a bit hesitant to have you go full out but you reassure him that you’re fine

you both try the pas de deux again the day you take your bandage off 

and you can see that he’s nervous to try it

you: rocky, i’m fully healed now. we haven’t practiced this move since the first time and we need it in our routine

rocky: but...y/n, what if I drop you again??

you: you won’t...i trust you 

and you really did, that move requires a lot of trust between partners and you know? maybe it didn’t work out the first time because of the lack of trust between you two

and so you go through the full routine and rocky was holding his breath when that part of the choreography came up but you both successfully did it!! and it was a beautiful move

he was so excited at the end of the run through that he hugged you

and you were smiling too bc this was the first time you did a full run through without any stops in between

you both don’t even notice that all the hostility is gone??

and the tension suddenly changed from hatred to...dare I say it...sexual

oo baby the day of the showcase you two were hella nervous 

but c’mon you and rocky were the best of the best so ofc you absolutely killed the performance

your energies literally merged as soon as the music started

every move was flawless

and you both had to face each other during your ending pose and you were just like looking at him like ??? wtf ??? did you maybe wanna kiss him??

and you know the look that rocky has in his eyes when he’s dancing

imagine that literally piercing into your soul

you got the shivers waiting for the lights to dim 

you both received a standing ovation after your duet obviously

astro watching it bc they always support rocky: they’re gonna fuck 100%

fast forward to the next term bc you both didn’t really have a reason to contact each other during summer break now that the showcase was done

you and rocky had two classes together, dance research and advanced modern technique

it was then that you started to see his actual personality and how goofy of a person he was

you still had a rivalry of course, but now it was healthy

instead of trying to bring each other down, you both started motivating each other to do better

and yes you’ve always been impressed with how good of a dancer rocky was (and vice versa), but now whenever you saw him practice you start to feel a little bit of stir in your stomach and shit are you blushing??

and then you two get paired up again for your midterm evaluation

your teacher: i saw the chemistry you had for the showcase last term, i think you two would work well together for this project

and god is your teacher trying to murder you??? the theme of this midterm was “couple dance” to encourage collaboration or whatever

you were just thankful that the song choice she gave you was more upbeat and not sensual bc you know for a fact that you would not survive doing a sexy dance routine with rocky

but that didn’t stop the way your skin felt like it was on fire whenever he touched you for partner-dependent moves

this time around, you did the choreography process together and it was actually pretty fun??

you and him would bounce back ideas and joke around whenever something looked stupid

you and rocky did this by the way for reference

and then there was one late night when you two were practicing

it was around 2 am, no one else was in the music building and you both didn’t have class the next day so you two were just like fuck it let’s just practice until campus security kicks us out or whatever

you both were literally dancing for four hours, not just this new routine but old ones and freestyles as well

and then you were doing your new routine and during the part where he had to twirl and dip you, you both fall again

but no one got injured this time luckily

and you both just burst out laughing, maybe you were a little delirious at this point in the night

you: i can’t believe you dropped me again

rocky’s laughing and you both just look at each other, and he’s hovering above you right???

and your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you’re positive he can hear it

and you’re thankful that your face was already hot from dancing so that he couldn’t tell that you were in fact blushing

rocky’s like looking at you for a good minute or so and he’s just like thinking in his head: have you always been this cute?

and maybe it’s bc you guys have been getting along so well lately and the vibes are??? immaculate

but the atmosphere suddenly gets super thick and he !! just !! leans down !! and !! kisses !! you !!

and phew baby you bet that you immediately respond to it

you’re literally making out on the floor for like five minutes

and mind you, five minutes is a long time

until rocky’s phone rings loudly through the speaker and you both suddenly separate

he scurries to his phone and you sit up trying to compose yourself 

jinjin: park minhyuk where are you?! it’s 3 am!!

you literally hear jinjin scolding rocky through the phone and you laugh a little bc it’s so cute how he’s getting nagged right now

rocky: hyung...im practicing...

jinjin: do i need to drag you out of there?! i’ll literally call bin to carry your ass to our apartment! how long have you been practicing huh?? have you eaten dinner at all??

rocky: okay okay I’ll come back home

he turns to you after ending the call and he’s so !! shy !!

rocky: I guess that’s the end of our practice haha...do you want me to walk you back to your place?? it’s pretty late out

you: yeah that’d be nice...hm you sure your hyung’s not gonna call a search party for you??

you’re teasing him and he just pouts

rocky: i’ll be fine

rocky walks you back to your apartment and it’s a little?? awkward?? 

but before you bid him goodbye he’s like: uh...the kiss earlier...sorry if I surprised you

your cheeks are hot again: it’s um...it’s okay, I didn’t mind it...it was actually pretty nice...I guess...

and rocky’s heart skips a beat and now he’s blushing: yeah...it was...i’ll see you in class then??

you: yeah, i’ll see you. text me when you get home okay?

he nods and waits until you’re safely inside and then he just starts grumbling to himself

rocky: i’ll see you in class?? could i say anything more stupid??? 

rocky’s adorable okay

him texting you when he gets back: im home :)

you: that’s good! good night rocky :)

he goes to the guys the day after like: i have a predicament !! me and y/n kissed !! 

jinjin: that’s why you were late last night??

eunwoo: you dirty dog, doing it in the dance studio??

rocky: we didn’t do anything else hyung !!

bin: so did you ask them out??

rocky: no...i said...i’ll see you in class

myungjun: i’ll see you in class?!?! are you an idiot??

sanha: hyung even I’d ask y/n out after that

rocky: i know !! im dumb okay!! help me

sanha: you’re a lost case sorry

jinjin: why don’t you start with, hey y/n do you wanna get some food with me??

rocky: AHHHH

yes he does want to ask you out, yes he does want to kiss you again more than he’d like to admit, but he’s shy

you’re not faring any better, you and roommate were literally talking about it all weekend

the next time you see rocky (in class), you two are awkward as fuck

you both keep stealing glances at each other and then if one of you get caught, you both immediately look away

those 50 minutes of class could not go by any slower

and you were so ready to book it after the professor dismissed you but then you hear rocky call your name

rocky: hey y/n, are you free right now?

you: uh yeah! why what’s up

rocky: do you...um...wanna get some coffee with me?? or food or something??

you: do you mean like just to hang out or...uh like a date?

rocky: a date...if you want it to be

and cue the blushies again

you and rocky end up going to this cute cafe and get smoothies bc neither of you were feeling caffeine at the moment

and the whole time you two are just ??? so cute and shy and awkward with each other ???

which is such a contrast from how you two would dance together

rocky’s so sweet, really the cutest boy

gives you so many butterflies

the two of you end up going on little cafe dates before practice 

and you’re all cute and wholesome

and then he turns all passionate and dominant when you start dancing

like wow alright rocky giving you whiplash or whatever

when you show the routine for your midterm, the teacher and other students give you both high praises 

and he’s all giddy after class and he goes up to you: i think its safe to say that we have really good chemistry when we work together, don’t you think?

you’re smiling hehe but you wanna mess with him a little: hmm i think we’re alright, but who knows, i might mesh well with someone else

and then he’s all frowny, a little jealous: what do you mean someone else? do you make out with someone who just has alright chemistry with you??

your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his mouth: im kidding!!

rocky just smirks at your embarrassed reaction and he like tickles your sides

and then he just grabs your hand like: don’t find another dance partner y/n, just be mine

how could you say no to that??? especially when rocky’s just looking all handsome and charming and shit??? exactly. you can’t and why would you ever say no in the first place??

you and rocky dating?? biiiig news in the dance department

and even outside of it

bc lowkey rocky had a bit of a fanclub bc of how good he is at dancing, are we shocked? no

the boys are so happy for him !!

you meet his friends literally the day the two of you start dating

and you’re a bit nervous meeting them bc ofc you want them to like you, they’re his friends

but they’re so sweet...and headass

when rocky brings you to their dinner, the five of them literally start applauding at your entrance

you were so confused and rocky’s just out here with second hand embarrassment

he’s the cutest boyfriend

shy with pda in public (unless you’re dancing), most he’ll do is hold your hand

but in private he’s very clingy

loves backhugging you

he also tickles you when he wants to be a little shit

which is 50% of the time

very playful bf, will tease you at least once every day

if you two are just practicing dancing, he’ll make any sort of excuse to hold you or kiss you

asddfadsjf he’s so cute

gets very soft at night especially when you two are worn out from practice

just wants to go back to your (or his) apartment and cuddle and sleep

imagine just you two cuddling in bed after hours of dancing and he’s just spooning you and he mumbles tiredly into your shoulder: you’re amazing y/n...you’re one of the best dancers i’ve ever seen

and before, his pride would have never allowed him to say that, but now it can

not really one for pet names in my opinion, but he does call you “my y/n”

after you two start dating, you begin to call him by his real name, minhyuk

or you say hyukie

he lowkey loves it when you call him that, it’s so endearing

the guys teasing him, cooing at rocky all gross like : heyyy hyukkie

then rocky just like crosses his arms: only y/n can call me hyukie

he didn’t realize he loves couple dances so much until you and him are dating

well he only loves it because you’re his partner ofc

alright hear me out !! slow dancing with rocky

slow !! dancing !! with !! rocky !!

he dims the lights in the dance studio until it’s just a single spotlight and some slow romantic music comes on and he just grabs you by the hand and twirls you once before pulling you close and you’re just swaying side to side

and then he presses your foreheads together and he’s just looking into your eyes and gives you the softest smile

!!! im freaking out!! i want this so bad !!

that’s how the first i love you comes out

surprise, you say it first

okay but like in the moment, the atmosphere is literally so perfect, and you can just see how much he treasures you and you always feel butterflies whenever he does this, but there was just something that night that made you say it

like your chest was constricting so hard and you were thinking to yourself, i love this man

and so you just said it

and omg the smile on rocky’s face just widens and he kisses you so sweetly before he says it back

loves kissing you, your lips are like a drug to him

can literally make out with you for hours

has pushed you against the walls of the practice room just for a little make out session

ahhh here we go ladies and gents

sex !! with !! rocky !!

first and foremost, dance studio sex??? yes

especially if it’s just you two late night practicing like the first time you kissed?

mirror kink? maybe so

and bc y’all are ~flexible~, you bet he likes bending your back like a pretzel

he’s a very passionate lover, your pleasure is his #1 priority

loves foreplay just as much as the main event

but oof his hips?? grrrrr bark bark ram me over with a truck

his stroke game is so good

literally knows how to fuck you in all the right places

and his stamina??? god tier, can go at it for hours on end

into edging and overstimulation, oof you bet you’re cumming at least twice during every session

i cannot stress this enough!! thigh riding

you know he has thighs of steel

will make you cum just from riding his thigh

most of the time you guys start off slow and sweet, and then just boom it turns it hard sex

will definitely get turned on from doing a sexy dance routine

the amount of times he’s wanted to just fuck you in the middle of class bc you turned him on?? but ofc he has public decency he won’t do that

he knows you get turned on from his fingers oops

anal or vaginal fingering?? he’s all for it baby

he’s loud during sex, all the grunting, huffing, growling, oo im getting chills

not afraid to tell you how good you’re making him feel

not really into spanking, but he grips a lot, like his fingernails have definitely left some deep imprints in your hips or your ass

hair pulling?? yes, both sides receiving

okay but if you call him rocky during sex? big turn on

i can’t explain why, it just is

favorite position?? cowgirl

he loves when you’re on top of him

yes he likes seeing you try to fuck yourself on him

and then when he can’t take it anymore and just grabs your hips and thrusts up into you until your body literally collapses on him

he always tries to make you cum first but oops sometimes baby just busts a nut

yes you will probably tease him about it and then he’ll just shut you up by kissing you 

on another note, no way to turn rocky on faster than sucking on his bottom lip when you’re kissing

will cuddle you after cumming, like he doesn’t care if either of you are sweaty or messy, he’s hugging you for at least five minutes

honestly becomes a baby after sex so it’s more like you’re giving him after care sksksk

the switch he makes from being a sex fiend to a clingy cuddly boy? whiplash

like you need to go to the bathroom to pee or something and he’s like: but...i wanna hug u

i would risk it all for rocky yes

anyway after graduating, rocky becomes a choreographer for this really famous dance studio and get recruited to join a highly-competitive dance troupe

you both do long distance for a little bit bc obviously he’s back home but you have to travel with your group for competitions, sometimes even internationally

and so that caused some strain in your relationship bc distance sucks, but you would always make sure to call him every night before going to bed and despite any time zone difference, he would always answer

your biggest supporter !! literally flew out to surprise you during a big dance competition in london or whatever and you cried happy tears bc was he really there right now??

that’s when you knew that he was the one :’)

you spent the night w him in his hotel room and after a good couple rounds of reunion sex, you were like trying to test the waters a little bit: i missed you hyukie

rocky: i missed you too, but now that you’re here with me, nothing else matters

you: what do you really think about this long distance thing??

rocky: it sucks...but i know it made us stronger. i feel like we can get through anything now

you: yeah, i agree

rocky getting paranoid: omg why? are you thinking of living abroad?? y/n, do i need to start looking at dance studios out here??

you have to hold in your laughter bc he’s so cute: why? would you move out of the county for me if i wanted to??

rocky: i mean...if you’re thinking of leaving for good...then yeah.

he gets so shy and quiet and you’re just !! wow you love him !! he’s yours !!

you kiss him shortly and you smile: no, i’m not gonna live abroad. I miss being home and I miss seeing you all the time. I told you before, I’m thinking of leaving the troupe in two months and then gonna find a job back home for good.

he lets out a sigh of relief: you scared me a little

you just laugh: I only wanted to confirm something and hmm I was right

rocky: what did you wanna confirm??

you being a confident baddie: that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life

rocky feeling his heart implode: you mean it??

you scoffing: why would I be lying about this?

he just laughs and kisses you: I wanna be with you too...I’ve been thinking it since the last time you visited. How much I love you and how much I hated seeing you leave for who knows how long, but I didn’t wanna say anything bc you’re still living your life and I didn’t want a promise like this to influence you to come back if you didn’t want to yet.

two months later you’re back for good and move in with rocky

you end up becoming a choreographer at his dance studio too

you and rocky: the couple™

and you live happily ever after

somewhere down the line...

sanha: hey remember when you two hated each other?

eunwoo: remember when you injured y/n??

bin: remember when you freaked out to us about your first kiss together

myungjun: and you said i’LL sEe yOu iN cLaSs

jinjin: those were fun times, right hyukie?

rocky: i hate you all

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2-16-21

[totallypathet]

Episode 8

A rusical, okay! We like a rusical. Interesting how they've done it this year though, I don't think they've ever done a rusical where they weren't either singing live or lipsyncing to a pre-arranged track of vocals. Half of me thinks it would have been better if they'd just sung it live, but then I guess they couldn't have done the OTT choreo.

The rusical itself was a little weird, some of the writing was just odd, and the "jokes" really weren't that funny. Anyway, let's talk about it!

1. Denali

I was worried for Denali this week! It happens so often on this show where we see queens say "I don't understand why I've only been safe I have to really up my game this week" and then they promptly get the judges attention in all the wrong ways and get sent home. I also kind of think Rosé did her a massive favour by refusing to give her the role they fought over (I can't even remember the names, they were all bizarre), because I think Denali would have got so in her head about that role and just wouldn't have been able to let go and have fun like she did.

After the Anne Hathaway call though, she just seemed so much happier and more relaxed, and she kind of just went into it with a much better attitude and she killed it! She did an awesome job in the rusical, it was fun to see her play a sort of grungy, messy character because she's so polished usually. She did an amazing job, and she deserved to be in the top this week!

Her look for me was a little bit meh, I just wish the snake headpiece had been bigger and bolder. From a distance it kind of looked like noodles. But it was still good, she still looked great, and I'm proud of her!

2. Elliott

Why is Elliott still there? I don't get it. She should have gone last week, and then this week her performance was just okay, and her look was a worse version of Tina's.

She should have been lipsyncing for me, or at least in the bottom three! I don't get what they see in her.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was great this week! I loved her performance, again it was fun watching her do something outside her comfort zone, she's not really known for being a dancer, so it was cool to see that. I really like that she really genuinely gave that her absolute best, like she knew she wasn't a great dancer but she worked really hard to get that choreography, and she did it great!

Her look was stunning, obviously! Gottmik and Symone are carrying the runway fashion this season. It was very cool, very conceptual, very Gottmik.

I dont know that I necessarily would have put her in the top this week. I think she was great, but I actually think Tina should have been in the top - which is something I never thought I'd say!

4. Kandy Muse

I feel like Kandy was mostly just unfortunate this week.

I think her recorded track was great - I did think there were to many vocal effects on it, but that's not really her choice, she can't blame her. I also think she's not a bad dancer, but I think she was thrown off to some extent by her wardrobe choices - the wig got in the way too much, and the skirt seemed to be a bit restricting, it just doesn't seem like she thought those choices through very well. It wasn't her best performance, but I also don't think it was a bad performance, which is kind of why I think she was just unfortunate.

Her runway this week I think was stunning. I feel like every week I say she's never looked prettier, but honestly this week she looked so pretty!! I loved the daisy's in her hair, and that long wig was so stunning with all that gorgeous fabric, I just loved it.

I think it's right that she was in the bottom, but again I don't think she did a bad job this week, I think she just delivered an average performance, when most of the other queens had a good performance.

5. Olivia Lux

Another great week for Olivia! She has such a stunning voice I was so excited to hear her do more singing. I kind of think she should have been in the tip three, but again I am biased, as an Olivia Stan 😂

My only real criticism of her this week was her outfit in the rusical? I get that she was a tech student, and I think she was just going for a casual look, it's just kind of unfortunate that it came off boring instead. I kind of wish she'd leaned into a more student look, and done like, stained sweatpants, and a really messy bun. Actually, it would have been really funny if, you know like you see art students with messy buns and a pencil through it? If she'd have done a messy bun and like a computer mouse through it or something! But overall her performance was incredible.

She always brings it on the runway as well, she brings these kind of pageant gowns, but in a really beautiful and modern way? I love it. I loved the big puff sleeve, I loved the fringe, she looked stunning.

6. Rosé

Rosé made me so happy this week! Her voice is so incredible, that Don't Rain on My Parade pastiche literally gave me chills! She is talented as hell, and I'm glad the judges are seeing it.

Her performance was really incredible - she's an incredible singer, and a great dancer - but I have a similar thing as Olivia about her outfit in the rusical? It just seemed like kind of an odd choice. I didn't get until like halfway through that she was meant to be like "the slutty friend", I just didn't really get that from her look. When the dress kept riding up it just looked like a mistake, you know what I mean? Again, it's a nitpick - they probably didn't have a whole lot of outfit choices for this challenge because they didn't know their roles before they came.

I loved her runway look as well! I loved the Mask reference, the only thing I wish is that she'd had a big hat, instead of that tiny fascinator. I'm so nitpick today, honestly! I just sort of wish she'd walked out with a big hat pulled right down and then revealed the green face when she hit the end of the runway. But that's just me! I did think it was stunning. I also don't think it was orange? Like it was the orange side of yellow, but it was definitely still yellow!

I'm really glad she won this challenge, she deserved it so much!

7. Symone

Symone had a bit of a rough week, and I feel for her. She really struggled with her vocals, and look not everyone is a singer, that's okay! But I can see how much she got I her head having seen other queens absolutely kill their vocals, and I think she just felt really insecure about it. I do kind of think it's unfair that they record their vocals in front of everyone else. When it's a team challenge, it makes sense, but when they're competing as individuals it just seems unfair and literally designed to make the queens who aren't singers feel bad!

Also, sidenote, they recors vocals in this huge, wide open runway room, that can't be good acoustics in which to record vocals, surely. In earlier seasons they seemed to use (at least something akin to) a recording studio? I'm confused.

Anyway, it was tough to watch this week, because she really did just get in her head about it, and it affected her whole performance. She wasn't having a good time, and that was rough. I do think part of the problem is that she was wearing sunglasses during the performance? When the audience can't see your eyes it's really difficult for them to connect with you while you're performing. It was just a shame.

Her runway look though! Honestly, her and Gottmik are going to need physio after carrying the whole of the fashion for season 13 on their backs! It was so stunning, that big coat, and the suspenders; she looked so cool and fashionable, I just immediately forgave the rest of her performance!

Unfortunately, I do think she deserved to be in the bottom this week, but I really hope she can pull back up to being the Symone we all know and love next week!

8. Tina Burner

I actually really liked Tina this week! I've been very underwhelmed with Tina this season, but I actually think she did a great job this week! I loved her very Liza Minelli rusical performance (and look), she was giving me that very old Broadway half talking, half singing; and I think it was great! Okay Michelle, she stopped lipsyncing like 2 seconds before the track when she died, but she really performed her track, and she sang it really well!

And then her runway look was great! It was campy, but it was also beautiful! It was fitted beautifully, it was cut beautifully, she looked stunning, the headlights on the tits was hilarious - and I noticed after the lipsync that those were actual lights! They actually lit up! So cute! And finally she wore something other than a red wig, and she looked so beautiful! Her face was gorgeous, the hair was perfect, it was great. So polished.

She did not at all deserve to be bottom three this week - especially not when Elliott with 3 Ks was safe.

9. Utica

I feel like my opinion on Utica goes up and down all the Time. Sometimes I think she's great, and other times I just feel kind of bored by her.

This week I was a little bored. I think she did well delivering that track, that's a tough vocal part. That's it.

Maybe that's not super fair. I just think her actual performance was a bit boring, and her facial expressions are genuinely becoming hard to watch. I am not looking forward to watching her lipsync when she lands in the bottom two.

I also hated hated hated her runway look this week. I know she was going for this medieval thing and she explained the cutout sides and all that, but it was ugly. And not even in a cool way of being ugly but fashionable, or so ugly that it's pretty; it was just fuck ugly.

I think it was right that she was safe, her performance was better than Kandy, Symone and Elliott, but her runway look was definitely the worst.

This week was kind of a weird one, because I really really didn't understand the judging criteria this week. I am still baffled that Elliott was safe, I'm baffled that she's still there at all, honestly. I'm also still shocked about Tina being in the bottom?! I don't get it.

I am kind of glad it was a double shantay this week - I just kind of feel like neither Kandy nor Symone actually did a bad enough job to go home this week.

Having said that, it is getting very tiring that there is still so many queens there! 8 episodes and only 4 queens have gone home? How long is this fucking series going to be???

[blazinbeautywrites]

Band Wars: Rise of the Phoenix

Note: Due to the rampant uprising of plagiarism on this site and others I am stating once and once only that this is my ORIGINAL work. If I find out that you have stolen/taken any part of my work I will handle you and the situation the way I see fit.

None of the pics or gifs I use belong to me so full credit goes to the originators of said gifs and pics.

Length: 2,356 words

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out guys. I was not happy with the final results and when I was I still was unsure so I rewrote it again and decided to just post it. I’ll let yall be the judge lol.

Genre: Honestly idk lmao

Chapter 1

 Universal Music Group (UMG) decides to debut a new girl group, PHOENIX on their first ever reality show “Next Big Thing.” The winners of the show get a 5 year, 5 album recording contract and will tour with CNCO 1 year after they debut. The winner of the show was Zania Reye Bloom, followed by London Monroe Jones, Jolene Maria Sanchez, Siane Rei Choi, and Avery Lynn O'Reilly. The band is composed of 5 talented women with different ethnic backgrounds, ages 24-25. 

Since the show served as the girl’s training they were immediately thrusted into the spotlight after the show ended. They went to work on their debut album and as the release date approached the girls were getting antsy. Now only were they about to release their baby onto the world, but they were finally meeting CNCO today and discussing ideas for their tour.

*UMG headquarters in LA*

“Yoooo I’m fucking excited! Can yall believe our debut album is coming out in a couple days?” London said as she led a couple of her members to the elevators.

“Girl this tour bout to be lit as fuck. Bruuuh we’re going to fucking Sweden. I didn’t even think we had fans out there.” Zania said.

“Yeah you can thank that girl Astrid who made the finals. She was Swedish.” Avery said.

The girls finally heard the elevator ding at their floor and immediately got out. The girls walked into a meeting room where they saw their other 2 members Jolene and Siane bonding with the boys of CNCO.

“Finally you bitches show up. What took yall so long?” Siane asked.

“Avery thinks she’s still in Ireland and almost drove us into a damn ditch.” Zania said.

“You’re alive aren’t you? So quit complaining.” Avery said as she took a seat opposite Erick.

“Anyways if yall are done….THIS is CNCO ladies. This is Zabdiel, Christopher, Erick, Joel, and this is Richard.” Siane said as she pointed to each boy as she introduced them. Richard definitely caught Zania’s eye and she quickly averted her eyes so he wouldn’t catch her ogling him. Little did she know, he was checking her out too.

“And I’m Zania, and of course yall met Jolene and Siane. This is London and Avery.” She said as she gestured to her other bandmates. She was about to say something else when a tall, slender woman walked into the room followed by a man wearing the loudest shade of yellow and another woman dressed in all black.

“Okay let’s make this short and sweet. I’m Veronica Pierce, you can call me Vee or Ms. Pierce, never Veronica. Get it? Got it? Good. I am your tour  creative director. I’ll be working closely with you all to design your tour. And please, let’s all collectively agree on a specific concept. I will not have my people designing 2 separate stages. To my left is Chez Moa, your set designer. And to my right is Mel Carter she and her team will be styling you all so meet with her some time this week so she can get an idea of what you guys want and need. And ladies you have a busy weekend ahead. Friday you have your album release, press runs, then your album release party later that night. Saturday you’ll be on Good Day LA where you’ll be interviewed and then perform your lead single. Sunday you have a mini showcase where yall will perform some fan fave covers from the show and a few songs from the album, including your single with CNCO. You’ll have tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday to learn choreo for both performances. You’ll meet your choreographer tomorrow. Any questions?” 

The whole room was silent as both groups stared at Veronica and her associates. Zania raised her hand and the other members of Phoenix sighed. They knew how this shit was about to play out.

“So do we get to breathe? Or do we have to pencil that in too?” Zania asked. She knew she was being an asshole but this shit was ridiculous.

“Hmmmm you must be Zania Bloom. They told me you had a mouth on you. Listen up sweetie this my show. I call the shots and if they bother you, you can leave.” Veronica said. Zania smirked at her and leaned back in her chair.

“Nah I’m good. You may continue, Ms. Pierce.” Zana said. Sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Anyways that’s all for now. And remember this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It can be taken away in the blink of an eye so watch yourselves.” Veronica spoke. She eyed the room but everyone knew exactly who that was meant for. She, Mel, and Chez exited the room in silence. Once they left, Siane burst out laughing.

“Yo I was clenching my fucking ass cheeks. She’s soo fucking hot.” Siane said.

“Keep it in your pants Siane. And Zania, girl why did you do that? You made that shit more intense than it needed to be.” London asked.

“You know me, I just had to say something. She was a bitch to us when we did the show, now they’re making her the tour director, wtf?” Zania said.

“Am I the only one who noticed that guy had on too much yellow?” Chris said. Everyone turned to him and started laughing.

“Look, I ain’t wanna say anything but he was so wrong for that. And it was a complete contrast to Mel who had on all black.” Jolene said.

“But real shit Vee ain’t no joke, she can make or break you. So just be careful.” Richard said. He made eye contact with Zania and she smiled at him.

“Oh I’m not afraid of her. She’s on a power trip so I’ll entertain her mess for the sake of this tour. You don’t have to worry bout me baby boy.” Zania said. Everyone got up to leave but on her way to the door she was stopped by Richard.

“I don’t know if you realized but I’m a grown ass man so that baby boy shit not gon fly with me.” Richard said. Zania was amused.

“Oh did I bruise your whittle ego babe? Look it’s not that serious-”

“But it is that serious so treat me with respect or keep it moving baby girl.” Richard said as he cut her off. He walked away leaving Zania stunned in silence. She walked back to her group and chuckled.

“Yall…...that guy Richard just lowkey put me in my fucking place. Oh this tour is gonna be so damn fun.” Zania said. She and her bandmates went to find their stylists to get started on designing their perfect tour outfits.

                                             ______________

It had been a full 5 hours and the girls were hard at work on their choreo. They were thankful that most of the songs they performed were their covers from their reality show so the moves were ingrained in their heads. They breezed through their choreo for their own singles and just finished running through them a final time before Laurieann Gibson called for lunch. The girls were beyond starved and as they walked to the cafe area of the upscale dance studio they saw CNCO walk through the door.

“Oop the boys are here.” Jolene said as she fixed her slightly messy hair. She made eye contact with Zabdiel as he and the other boys walked into the dance studio they’s just left.

“Ooooohhh do I sense a little crush? London teased.

“See that tall one, Zabdiel? I promise you, I will climb him like a fucking tree.” Jolene said, much to the amusement of her group. 

“Woah. Down girl, we have a whole ass tour to get through.” Avery said.

“Look if I can’t fuck Vee, you can’t fuck Zabdiel.” Siane argued.

“Girl. Zabdiel is fair game, Vee is our fucking boss. There’s a difference.” Zania said as the girls found a table near the back of the cafe. Avery went to order them some food and soon a waiter came back with a tray of fruit, some finger sandwiches, and a basket of the cafe’s homemade potato chips.

“This looks so good and I’m starving.” London said. As the girls ate they discussed the difficult choreo.

“I really thought Laureiann was gonna throw her shoe or some shit at you cuz you couldn’t get that one move down.” Siane said.

“I wish she would throw some shit at me.” Jolene said while the others laughed at her.

“What kind of shit yall think they’ll have us do with the boys?” London asked.

“Probably something sexy, ya kno to pander to the fans.” Avery answered.

“I heard that they’re partnering us up with them for the collab so whomever we pick is our dance partner for the song.” Siane added.

“Well. this should be fun.” Zania said. The girls chat a little bit longer before cleaning up and heading back into the dance studio. When they arrived they heard their song with CNCO playing. Laurieann was teaching them their choreo and once saw the girls she turned the music off and immediately began assigning pairs.

“Okay London you’re with Joel, Jolene with Eric, Zabdiel and Siane, Avery and Chris are partners and lastly, Zania, you’re with Richard. Everyone please stand with your partner. I’m only gonna do the dance two times and then you’re gonna do it and we’ll fine tune everything afterwards” Lauriann said as she read off her list. Before the girls could even process anything they quickly got into formation to do the choreo.

                                            ______________

A few hours later, both Phoenix and CNCO were spread out on the floor, exasperated. Lauriann told them to rest up and that she’d see them in the morning before she left them all a sweaty mess in the studio.

“I swear there are parts of me that are sweating I ain’t know could sweat.” Siane said as she attempted to lift her head to no avail.

“Girl I feel like my fucking feet are gonna fall off.” Zania said.

“I can’t feel my left asss cheek.” Jolene mumbled.

“Bruh at least yall voices aren’t hoarse as fuck.” Richard said.

“We should probably start heading out because I need an ice bath or some shit.” Avery said as she willed her body to move. Everyone followed suit and struggled getting to their feet. When the girls began packing up to leave, Zabdiel strolled on over to pull Jolene to the side. Zania looked on and smirked to herself. All she hoped was that whatever they had going on didn’t get in the way of her group’s path to success. She snapped out of her little daze just as Jolene made it back.

“Well, what was that about?” Zania asked.

“Girl he asked for my number. I was like no and he said can you really say no to this face. I almost fucking melted so I gave him my number. He’s so fucking cocky. I love it.” Jolene beamed. Zania could tell her friend was happy so she chose to keep her mouth shut. The girls finally made it to the elevator when Zania realized she’d left her phone in the dance studio.

“Shut yall I left my phone. Yall go on I’ll text yall once I get home.” Zania said.

“Girl we’ll wait, just hurry up.” London said. Zania jogged back to the building and ran up the stairs to be quicker. Once she got to the door of the studio she heard the boys talking.

“I really like that girl London. She’s classy, yet has a sexy side. I like that.” Joel said.

“Now see Jolene….them lips. I bet her head game on point.” Zabdiel said.

“Ew bro what the hell!” Eric exclaimed.

“I know you of all people are not talking.” Richard said.

“Even though I think she’s kind of a bitch, Zania fine as fuck too.” Christopher said.

“Yeah she is fine. Yall seen that ass? I’d love to get behind that.” Richard said. Zania had heard enough and walked into the room.

“Yall should really make sure that the door is completely closed before you talk about us. Anyways I left my phone and just came back to get it. Oh and Richard, Zabdiel? I understand that Jolene and I are attractive but please don’t talk about us like we’re pieces of meat mkay?” With that she grabbed her phone and walked out, leaving the boys a little dumbfounded. Once she got back outside she filled her girls on what she heard.

“You know. We should teach them a lesson.” Jolene said.

“Oop I sense an infamous Jolene Sanchez prank.” Siane said.

“Yep. Okay so here’s the plan.” Jolene explains the little prank they’ll play on the boys at the showcase. They’d messed with the wrong girls.

                                            _____________

The rest of the week went by in a blur and before they knew it, their album release day was finally here. It’d only been a few hours and their album was already number 1 on a few of the urban and pop album charts. Siane screenshot the Billboard charts where their album was number 1 and sent it to their group chat. She then called them all on a video chat.

“WAKE UP BITCHES! WE NUMBER 1 BABYYYYYY!!!!1!” She yelled into the phone. The others, as groggy as they were, laughed at how hyped their member was.

“Girl you are so lucky I was up getting ready or I’d curse you the fuck out.” Zania said. 

“Bitch whatever. Anyways I love yall so much! We’ve officially ARRIVED! Like we in the fucking building forreal now. WHEW! Let me start getting my shit together. See yall soon. Love ya! Siane said as she hung up the video call. The girls were buzzing and couldn’t be any happier that after almost 6 months, their hard work has finally paid off and that their fans love their album as much as they do. They couldn’t wait to see what lie ahead for them. They knew whatever it was, it was gonna be big.

[ssixa]

CHANCE ENCOUNTER//MARK TUAN X Y/N

Description: Walking into the night shift at the hospital proves to keep you on your toes. Nights are left to the universe so you can only hope that tonight will be decent. What happens when you find out that one of your patients is THE Mark Tuan from GOT7? how do you try to deal with the chaos erupting from this chance encounter? and how many times do you have to tell yourself that you love your job?

Genre: fluff, slight cringe

Pairing: Black Fem Reader x Mark Tuan (though I will say there isn’t much description of black characteristics)

Word count: 3.5K

Warning: explicit language

A/n: yay finally a long chapter! glad y’all are enjoying this story! The collage sucks for this one, but it was a struggle lol.

*All pic collages are made by me unless I state otherwise. Individual pictures in the collage are not mine and I give credit to where credit is due.

Chapter Six

~Months Later~

I can’t believe the tour has already kicked off! Especially it being a world tour, the poor boys are going to be so excited and yet exhausted. 

“Yo bitch, whatcha doin this weekend?” I text my best friend y/f/n

“Nothin, probs just going to the bar. Wassup?” She replied 

“Guess who scored us some tickets to a very specific concert that we couldn’t get tickets for?” I send with a smirk

“Biittchhhh you dddiiiddnn’ttttt”

“Bbbiiittcchhhh I dddiiiddd” 

“How the hell did you get Got7 tickets when they’re sold out...what organs did you sell?” She questioned suddenly 

“Let’s just say I met a trustworthy person who was selling them for cheap” I reply not wanting to ruin the surprise

“Fuck it, I don’t want to know, just tell me how much they are later” she sends

“Np” 

“Also we better take some cute ass pics when we’re there, but then again, when do we ever not take cute ass pics” I send 

“Bitch you best believe I’ll look cute, don’t you worry” 

I put my phone away after scrolling through my social medias out of boredom. This weekend can’t come fast enough honestly. Just gotta make it through the work week at my other job. Yet again so many Karen’s coming in and doing what Karen’s do, men fully disregarding what I’m saying because I’m a young black woman; so on and so forth. The week was more busy than I thought because at a blink of an eye it was Saturday aka the day of the Got7 concert! I decided to get dressed at y/f/n’s place since it would be more convenient since she lives closer to the venue.

After getting dressed (and lookin fucking cute, but sexy at the same time) we head to the venue. I direct y/f/n that we should walk towards the ticketing booth in order to pick up the tickets. Luckily the tour and this venue had a common agreement on different ways you can have your tickets and luckily buying and picking up the physical ones at the booth was one option. 

“Ugh I seriously need to find out who got you these tickets! They can be our concert ticket dealer hahaha” y/f/n says

“A girl has her secrets” I give her a wink and keep walking.

We head towards the entrance of the venue and wait in line until doors open. As we do for past concerts, we start conversations with other fans in line. A basic convo of “who’s your bias?”, “what other groups do y’all stan?”, etc. Luckily it makes the time go by faster because before we knew it, doors opened and they started scanning tickets and letting everyone in. We found our seats and saw that some of the fans we made friends with in line were sitting right behind us. We continued our conversation about nothing specific really until I felt my phone vibrate. I looked down and see that Mark messaged me, 

“Y/NNNNNNN!!!!” Mark messaged

“MAAARRRKKKK!!!” I replied 

“I see you”

“Can you please not be creepy”

“Awe but it’s fun! ANYWAYS I can’t believe you’re here I can’t wait to see you!” he replied excitedly 

“I can’t wait to see you either! First time I’m getting to see you performing on stage. I seriously can’t” I quickly reply

“OH RIGHT! I remember why I texted you, check under your chair” he messaged

“You’re making me nervous boy”

“First of all, I’m a man. Second of all, stop being a wimp and look under your chair” he replies back with an eye rolling emoji. 

I decide to give in and squeeze myself on the ground between my chair and the chair in front of me. I feel a little bit around until my hand takes hold of something. I pull it out and it’s an envelope so I open it because what harm is there in opening a mysterious envelope from Mark. When I opened it, I shut it just as quickly, I looked side to side to make sure no one saw, shoved it in my bag, and grabbed my phone. 

“Mark Tuan imma kill you” I message adding a crying emoji

“Am I your favorite member now?” he said with a cute emoji

“Nope, still loyal, but Mark you really didn’t have to do this! VIP BACKSTAGE PASSES”

“How could I not?! You’re one of my friends that I cherish and it’s been so long. The fact that you thought that just attending the concert would be the end of it...I’m hurt” he replies almost sounding a little too butthurt. 

“Fine fine, but you know I love you right! I seriously can’t believe I can even call you a friend, let alone a close friend at that!” I message excitedly 

“I-love you too, you’re seriously someone I didn’t expect to show up in the circumstances they did. Thank goodness you did though, I was on the brink of murdering Yug because he was just calling me by my name. That child has no respect”

“Mark, honey, you’re American, I wouldn’t have guessed you were so serious about that type of stuff” I retorted

“Well I’m used to the way things run so I just want to hit him sometimes, what an annoying brat” he sent. I ended up laughing and y/f/n looked at me curious as to what was so funny on my phone. I quickly hid it, but I already knew she knew something was up. That’s why I was grateful when she didn’t push further because she knows I always end up spilling the tea later.

“That makes sense anyways you see where I am right?” I ask

“Yup, you look pretty” he comments as he always does

“Whatever, you see the girl to the right of me?” 

“Kinda, I can’t really see her face though”

“Oh let me help” I replied. 

“Yo y/f/n let’s take a pic” I get her attention. She turned around and agreed seeing that it wasn’t unusual for us to take pics together, especially at concerts. 

“Ooo these are cute” she comments then turns back around to keep talking to our new friends. 

“See now, cute right?” I text Mark

“Oh yeah~ she’s cute I guess, what about her though?” He replies

“That’s the friend I was telling you about and lucky for you she doesn’t have a solid bias in the group yet” I mention knowing that it would peek his interest. 

“Oh she doesn’t now, well now I’m even more excited to meet her” he comments, with easy excitement detected in his message. 

“Well thanks to you, we all get to meet each other!” I message excitedly 

“You’re very welcome sweetheart, but I gtg my turn to get pretty” he sends

“Lol you’ve always been pretty, but see you later!” 

“Lol bye” he texted lastly. 

I spend the rest of the time before the concert trying to devise how I’m going to keep surprising y/f/n until we reach the boys while still talking to our new friends. I decided that I would say I found these badges in one of the bathroom stalls after going in after a staff member and decided that it would be our ticket into the backstage. Perfect, not only is it a crazy idea, but the prize at the end (her reaction) will be the icing on the cake. I decided to text Mark about the plan and to also tell the manager so when we do get back there we don’t get in actual trouble. He saw my message and sent an emoji making sure I understood he got the message. This made the whole experience even better.  

The lights dimmer and we knew the show was starting. The whole place erupted in screams and chants of “Got7” echoing everywhere. The stage lit up and the boys walked out. I screamed and almost busted a lung at how good the boys looked up there. Mark looking exceptionally nice almost made me forget how much of an idiot he really is. It amazes me how humans can deceive each other so easily by just putting on an act. 

The concert was beyond amazing! I almost forgot while in the middle of the concert how I actually know the boys and consider them my friends. My mind went back to just being a simple ahgase and it being just that. It wasn’t until Mark came to my side of the stage and did some weird thing that I recalled that I actually know this fool personally. Then Mark pointed me out to the other members so once they spotted me they made their rounds to come to my side of the stage and do something that made my whole side scream. One girl in front of me thought that the finger heart from Jackson was for her when it was really meant for me. Poor girl.

The concert went on, screams were loud, fanchants were strong, light stick choreo was on point, the BOYS choreo was definitely on point, and honestly everything was just perfect. In the back of my head I couldn’t wait to finally meet the boys and better yet, be able to get this secret off my chest. I still hadn’t told anyone of me knowing the boys so to be able to tell y/f/n was going to be a load off my chest. It was the end of the concert with the boys concluding it with a classic that is “A.” During one of the chorus point dances JB came to my side of the stage like he had done once or twice before. While Youngjae and him sang the chorus JB never stopped looking me during the certain lyrics

“Ei da aneunde wae jakku sumgyeo

Nega nal joahaneunge imi

Ne eolgure sseuyeoisseo

Ei nareul boda wae nuneul dollyeo

Da aneunde ei e...”

(Translated: “Hey I already know everything so why are you hiding

It’s written all over your face that you like me

Hey why do you look away

I know everything”)

Contradictory to the lyrics, more specifically JB’s verse, I couldn’t look away. Was he confessing...to me? There’s now way. My heart sped up at the thought that my bias, my ult bias at that, has feelings for me! It was hard to get immersed in the rest of the concert with my head getting mixed signals of what JB really did was meant for me or just did it to tease me, not like it would be the first time. We talked a lot over messenger and really clicked, that included him reminding me that he knew that he was my favorite. Yeah I grew legit feelings for him, but my brain rationalized that it wouldn’t make sense for that to ever exist beyond that, but if what he did right now on stage was him confessing to me, maybe...there’s a chance.

It’s just the possibility of him liking me from only talking to me, while my feelings have existed. I need to stop thinking about this because there’s no way

“Y/n just enjoy the rest of the concert” I mumbled to myself. Thank goodness it was loud and dark enough that no one could hear me or see me. 

When the concert ended, y/f/n and I just sat there in utter amazement. We couldn’t believe we just had the chance to witness this and not to mention a relief since it had been so long for Got7 to come back to a city near enough that we could travel. After a moment of shock, I looked at her

“Yo bitch” I said to grab her attention

“What bitch?” She replied, such friendship

“This night ain’t over yet” I commented and signaled for her to look down her face of confusion and shock filled her face

“Y/n how the hell did you get these?!” She whispered yelled to not get much attention to us

“Remember when I went to the bathroom earlier? I guess I used a stall after one of the staff members and they misplaced it there” I commented hoping she would believe the lie

“Y/n you don’t do wild shit like that though, it’s always me” she mentions 

“I know but I’m willing to risk it all because what’s the worst that could happen?” I say hoping to convince her

“Well first we could be black listed by JYP, we would be the new face of sasaengs and last I checked there aren’t many or many in general black sasaengs...that should be enough reasons not to do it” she said.

“Yes, but if it works then we have a high chance of meeting Got7 and think about how much staff they have. What’s the likeliness they would know who we are'' I bring up

“Damn, you making me do dumb bitch shit...fine I’m in” she says. Score. 

We made our way out with most everyone just like normal, but snuck away to a secluded area where security wasn’t looking through. We slipped through a door that led through a hallway that led backstage. Getting backstage we were looked at sideways but everyone was rushing everywhere not paying us any mind (thank goodness their staff was pretty diverse), but I’m surprised no one noticed how different we stick out especially with our outfits. . 

We slip passed another door, we turned around getting stopped in our tracks by the boys’ manager. He wore this scowl on his face and both of us freaked. Then I remembered Mark texted me saying the manager would have eyes around the place so when we sneak in he would know where we were. So when running into him and seeing the scowl I knew he was just faking it and yet it was so believable. He stared us down,

“Now I don’t think I recognize you two” he comments 

“Um well you see” y/f/n starts in a slight panic

“We were given these passes by someone higher up in the company so we just decided to let ourselves in instead of waiting for the person they were going to send” I replied back confidently hoping it sounded believable enough...to y/f/n that is.

“‘Someone higher up huh?’ well who might that be exactly?” he questioned 

“I don’t have to say and you can’t make me” I snap back with a bit of attitude 

“Well if it is like that, I can’t allow you to proceed any further” he snarls back. Wow he’s really into this. JYP should really look into an acting career for this man and if not that give him a raise or something.

“Now if you two ladies could follow me to this room and I’ll get security to come deal with you both” he continued. y/f/n was getting visibly overwhelmed, but thankfully she had her inhaler with her. I hated to see that her reaction was getting that intense, but we were so close.

“Fine” I replied back fake angrily. y/f/n and I follow the manager back to a room that was labeled “Security” on the front. Perfect, everything was going to plan. Mark helped give more detail to my plan and thought to get a sheet of paper and put security to make the plan more believable. What we didn’t know though is under that sheet of paper it actually said “Artists Dressing Room.” It also occurred to me how good the manager's english had gotten. I guess it worked out with my Korean also getting much better as well. Luckily, I told y/f/n that I decided to study Korean again so she didn’t question why I was able to speak so well. She is able to speak pretty well herself, but the intensity of the situation caused her brain to freak out not being able to respond.

Once we reached the door, the manager slowly turned around. We briefly made eye contact and a smirk slightly graced his face. This is it, y/f/n looked like her nerves were a bit calmer, but I was sure to stand behind her in case she passed out. The manager opened the door and stepped to the side, he ushered us in and I gasp really loudly, 

“OMG IT’S GOT7” I exclaim. The boys all shot their heads up from different areas of the room, the sense of panic that graced their face for a few seconds made it even better. That stupid Mark, I guess he didn’t tell the boys of the plan so they must have thought that we were crazed fans who actually snuck in. Once the boys stared in shock for a few more seconds, all the sudden I hear

“y/nnnnn!!!” Mark screamed and dashed from the chair he was lounging in for a hug. I start laughing hysterically when I turn to see y/f/n’s hella confused face. It took me all the strength to try and stop laughing, but eventually I was able to calm down enough to talk,

“SURPRISE BITCH!!” I look to y/f/n and yell, her face still in utter shock and confusion. 

“Hey boys” I wave crazily to the boys who finally have the previous shock go away and have faces grazed with the biggest of smiles.

“y/n, how are you here?!” Youngjae questioned. From my peripheral vision I could see the boys look with beaming eyes mentally waiting for the answer to that same exact question they were all sharing. I look to Mark and comment

“You idiot, you didn’t tell them?” I laugh

“Well seeing you were surprising your friend, I wanted to do the same for the boys” he laughed back. 

“Makes sense, this was worth it though to see their faces” we both started laughing. Mark went on to explain in Korean about the plan we concocted and how we were able to execute it along with the help of the manager and other staff members. The boys nod and I turn to y/f/n explaining everything similarly. 

“I hate you so much right now” y/f/n says but with humor

“Awe but I love you so much” I replied back lovingly

“Mark this is my friend y/f/n I was telling you about before” I turn to Mark and say

“Nice to meet you!” Mark said with a bright smile

“Nice to meet you too” y/f/n replied back slightly shyly but still with slight confidence. Mark directs us to go and sit down on the chair that was previously occupied by him and Jackson. We all took a seat while BamBam, Yug, and JB were getting their makeup taken off and getting dressed in more comfier clothing behind a panel. 

“This is crazy that we’re finally getting to meet you y/n though it feels like we’ve been friends for ages’ Jackson speaks up.

“I know right! It’s still surreal that we’re all pretty good friends given we’ve never met physically...well except for Mark that is” 

“Wait how do you even know Mark...like how the hell did that even happen?” y/f/n speaks up. The boys looked at each other surprised that she didn’t know even though Mark and I had been talking for months. I look to Mark to see if it was fine to tell her given that he’s not one of my patients anymore, but still it would be illegal and immoral to start spilling unless allowed. He gives me the go ahead and I turn back to y/f/n and explain to her how it came to be. From all the stupid stuff he said to getting to talk to the boys over facetime, nothing was left unturned. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing and how lucky I was to have a chance encounter like this. 

“Wow you really lived the ‘y/n’ life right now huh?” She commented

“I’m just glad I was able to get it off my chest, it was really hard trying to keep this a secret for that long” I laughed 

“But why now, like how long you think you would’ve held it in if they didn’t have a tour?” she questioned

“Honestly I was close to just spilling everything, but luckily the tour was announced. You can also thank Mark for the free tickets and passes by the way” I laughed. y/f/n looked at Mark and had no other way of phrasing words than to say thank you multiple times

“It’s no problem at all, your reaction was priceless though! It made it worth it in the end” he laughed.

I sit there looking at my surroundings amazed this is actually happening. Mark irritatingly asked y/f/n to tell him stories of stupid shit I’ve done in the past because I refused to tell him. y/f/n went along I’m guessing as payback for the stupid stunt I pulled with this whole encounter. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to put those two together because now Jackson is listening in and I guess so is BamBam from the makeup chair because I can hear him laughing along with everyone else at some part of the story that I don’t even remember (I must have been drunk...whoops). Even then, I don’t think anything could top this moment…

Now I have to figure out why JB has been avoiding interactions with me since y/f/n and I walked in. 

Previous/Next

[roadtohadestown]

hadestown thoughts n’ things song-by-song

Y’ALL KNOW I SAW HADESTOWN A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND I GOT SOME THINGS TO SAY !!! these aren’t gonna be me fully describing how the songs play out (a couple times yes, but not from start to finish), but are me pointing out little things that i found very memorable or funny or were little “OH SHIT” kinda moments.

(i’ll also be referring to the characters by their actors every now and then)

occasionally i’ll refer to the fates individually by their actual names (clotho, lachesis, atropos); if you don’t know which actresses play who:

yvette -> clotho // kay → lachesis // jewelle -> atropos

———

ACT 1

road to hell:

the cast came out all at once and i swear my heart JUMPED when i saw them enter and wave at the audience !!!!

andré came in walking slowly over to his usual spot on stage right. while walking, he was holding the hands of some of the cast who were sitting at the tables.

the fates snapping a sassy look at hermes when he says “three old women all dressed the same.”

introducing orpheus, orpheus is literally a happy ball of sunshine running onstage, holding a red rag and a crate and starts wiping down the tables.

when hermes introduces eurydice, orpheus and eurydice bump into each other at the center of the stage. they stare at one another for the rest of road to hell and it’s so so cute and enchanting. sitting on orchestra left, i was just watching orpheus’s face, so awestruck and in love.

any way the wind blows:

fuck i am so gay for the fates

eurydice’s “anybody got a match ??” and hermes holding out a matchbox to her. she snatches it and says “gimme that.”

eurydice lighting the candle and clotho blowing it out.

lachesis gracing a hand on eurydice’s hair (and i forget at which lyric because my mind is Like That and Forgetful)

come home with me:

eva casually dragging her hand back and forth above the flame, playing with it because she’s not really the focus of the scene and needs something to do while reeve’s busy crumpling a newspaper to make a flower for her

hermes saying, “orpheus......don’t come on too strong”

and orpheus—directly after hearing hermes say that—says to eurydice, “coMe hOmE wITh ME !!!” featuring reeve’s wonky movements that make orpheus seem awkward, which is just plain cute

at one point, he sits on the table beside her

hermes taking the candle from eurydice’s hands and placing it aside on another table. this candle stays lit for a lot of act 1, then is later blown out because we need Metaphors and Symbolism

i love that eurydice crumples up orpheus’s paper flower, then stuffs it in her pocket

wedding song:

damn i love eva and reeve

damn i love this ensemble

damn that flower is red

epic i:

once hermes says “sing it again though” and hands orpheus his guitar, orpheus straps it on. he takes a little moment of silence before he starts singing—like he’s trying to prepare himself first. in that moment, he’s actually just staring at eurydice and smiling because he loves her so much—

livin’ it up on top:

I LOVE THE FATES AND THEIR FANS !!! EVEN THEY’RE SUPER HAPPY THROUGHOUT LIVIN’ IT UP

WHEN PERSEPHONE COMES BACK FROM HADESTOWN, ORPHEUS IS SO GIDDY !!! YOU COULD SEE HIM SMILING LIKE CRAZY AND HE’S A LITTLE JUMPY BECAUSE HE’S SO EXCITED SEPH’S HERE !! HE’S LIKE AN EXCITED LITTLE PUPPY !!! HE WAS SO EAGER TO TAKE HER COAT TOO !!!

orpheus juMP

he was literally throwing a couple silver cups to hermes (who caught them)

there were cute little john and eva moments, with john dancing around her at one point

persephone tried to shove eurydice in with the dancing ensemble to get her to join, but eurydice walked away waving her hands and awkwardly smiling as if saying, “no thanks, i’m not gonna do that,” (but obviously later persephone successfully drags eury into dancing, and she’s wonderful at it)

when hermes said “let the poet bless this round!” ahmad, while holding one of the wine bottles, puts his hands up as if to say “alright, he can do it”

after orpheus gave his speech and they drank from their cups, hermes actually coughed—like the wine was just too much for him asjhsnsj

all i’ve ever known:

persephone’s onstage during the little hermes introduction bit. when he mentions orpheus and eurydice, seph holds out her arms to each of them as he does (as if indicating who’s who) before sitting down at the side to watch the two lovers.

orpheus takes off his apron (finally), revealing him in full with his nifty suspenders 😩💕

when eurydice said “now i wanna hold you too,” she was frantically moving her hands, grabbing different parts of orpheus’s arms

that sex scene was beautiful (IT’S JUST A GRACEFUL INTIMATE DANCE BETWEEN THE TWO AND IT’S PRETTY !! ESPECIALLY WITH THE LIGHTING)

mwah

way down hadestown:

orpheus and eurydice dancing around as everyone sings about hades and hadestown (spoiler: they’re cute)

as hades and persephone descend, smoke comes out of the pit, and the ensemble is leaning in to look down there. ahmad’s in front of all of them—leaning too—but also has his arms outstretched to his sides, keeping everyone else back. they all eventually break apart, and honestly the thing i most remember is just afra with her knees on the table and her hands gripping the edges of the table, too, to peer down into the pit.

gathering storm:

me, watching afra hand eurydice her coat

orpheus takes out his tiny notebook and pencil from his pocket and goes to the side to start writing in it, because he “needs to finish the song”

eurydice clutching her arms as she says “we need food.......we need firewood.....”

“okay, finish it...”

she goes over to orpheus and places a hand on his arm, then leaves

epic ii:

AW HELL YEAH, THEY BROUGHT BACK THE “doubt that she’d ever come, dread that she’d never come, doubt that his lover would ever come back” LYRICS !!

orpheus uses present tense instead of past tense !!! it’s now “he thinks of his wife in the arms of the sun” instead of “he thought of his wife in the arms of the sun” and etc.

chant i:

the workers’ choreo is so mesmerizing. SO MESMERIZING.

reeve sings the la la la’s differently than the broadway preview audio i heard before, and i LOVE how he sings it now. his ending “la la la la la la” leads into the workers’ “low, keep your head, keep your head low” and oh my god i am so in love with that

“is it finished !?” eurydice asks hermes. “not yet,” hermes replies. she asks “is he always like this !?” and he nods.

hermes is now narrating in third-person about how orpheus is ignoring the storm rather than speaking to orpheus directly

i really don’t know how i feel about eva going lower when she sings “harbor me.” in the past she’s went higher; and because i used to hear that all the time, now that she‘s going lower my mind‘s thinking “c’mon, you can go higher !! i know you’re capable of it.” but regardless, eva’s voice is still the most beautiful thing i’ll ever hear 😩💓

the way the fates snatch away eurydice’s backpack and coat is so elegant, yet cool and pitiful

EVA I HOPE YOUR KNEES ARE OK FROM THAT FALL. I KNOW YOU DO IT EVERY NIGHT, BUT STILL.

hey little songbird:

hades casually putting on his shades

patrick’s juicy low notes are to die for

“see how the vipers and vultures surround you” reveals the three fates making their way closer to eurydice

when the chips are down (intro):

the little coin ( / ticket to hadestown ) hades gives eurydice

the way eurydice holds up both the flower and coin in the air as if contemplating which to choose

when the chips are down:

yvette, please step on me

kay, please step on me

jewelle, please step on me

please. step on me.

gone, i’m gone:

shoutout to andré off to the side making all the necessary sound effects.

hermes jingles a coin bag until eurydice comes up and puts her coin (“ticket”) in the bag, indicating she’s boarded the train to hadestown.

cue andré blowing the little flute thing to imitate a train whistle. again, thank u for ur sound effects.

wait for me:

orpheus finally looking up from his tiny notebook with a smile on his face, as if he’s happy that he’s made progress on his song and wants to tell that to eurydice. but when he looks up, he sees hermes from afar instead and (still with an innocent smile) exclaims “mr. hermes !!” before going up to him. (unlike the london production, he doesn’t look around searching for eurydice first before encountering hermes.)

orpheus drops to his knees as he says “no...” during his convo with hermes

the workers shining the lights around like they’re search lights is so COOL

THE FOG !!!

the lights actually swinging over people’s heads in the first row. wow. just,, wow.

FATESFATESFATESI’MSOGAY

THE SET OPENING UP !!! I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN, BUT DAMN THAT WAS SO MUCH MORE EPIC IN REAL LIFE

the way reeve jumped off the platform !!! TBH KINDA HOT

i was watching him run along the turntable and it was an awkward little run LOL

“I’M COMING WAIT FOR ME !!!!!” “WAIT” “I HEAR THE WALLS REPEATING !!!” that scene was so GOOD and MUCH MORE INTENSE IRL !!!

i loooOOOVED the way the workers turned their lights at each “WAIT !!”

why we build the wall

the workers retreat to the sides of the stage and hades comes in. they’re so stiff just standing there and singing and i’m like—well fuck.

the saLUTE !!! it’s literally just them putting an index finger up, bUT STILL. FUCK.

eurydice looks around to see everyone saluting, and eventually joins in with them and does it too

the way amber dramatically turns around with her arms swinging about, pauses, then says, “anybody wanna drink?”

ACT 2

our lady of the underground:

“SSSSSSTEP INTO MY OFFICE !!!!” *intensely hip thrusts her way to hell (disregard that she’s already in it—)*

“i got the wind right here in a jar” *grabs her boob and jiggles it*

don’t we just stan amber gray

way down hadestown ii:

andré making the sound of “the pickaxe ringing” by banging a silver cup against the microphone on the stand

eurydice coming through the door and down the stairs. upon seeing the workers, she exclaims, “i’m eurydice !!” with a smile on her face like she’s ready to meet new people, but her smile fades away once she realizes no one’s paying attention to her. “doesn’t anybody hear me?” she asks the fates. and clotho responds, “oh they can hear! but they don’t care,” with a devious smile on her (and the rest of the fates’) face(s). “no one has a name down here.”

the fates proceed to tell eurydice how the workers have all forgotten about their lives before hadestown, and eurydice will turn out just like the rest.

lachesis says, “so what was your name again?” (no response) “see? you’ve already forgotten.”

flowers:

eva’s voice.........SO SAD

how she holds out her hand left hand to the side, as if trying to caress someone’s face who isn’t there.

come home with me ii:

yeah, orpheus comes in from the audience and climbs onto the stage as he says, “come home with me !!” and it’s ADORABLE

he puts his guitar down as he gets onstage (which i’d say is a metaphor for him choosing eurydice over his music)

she leaps into his arms, they embrace each other, and it’s the absolute most sweetest thing ever

papers:

“hades, i know this boy !” (persephone) // “one of the unemployed...” (hades) // “his name is orpheus—!” // “you stay out of this...” // and persephone gives him a look because he just shuts her down, and she knows she can’t do anything about it

as the fates approach orpheus, eurydice extends her arms out trying to protect him

clotho snatching orpheus’s guitar and mischievously examining it

mmmmm look at that fight scene

nothing changes:

ugh, i love that acappella and their voices are SPICY 🔥🔥💯🔥

the way clotho just holds his guitar above him while he’s lying there on the ground, beaten, like she’s teasing him

if it’s true:

eurydice retreating back to the turntable with the other workers, knowing full well there’s nothing she can do, and simply works away like the rest of them

“is this how the world is !? to be beaten and betrayed and then be told that nothing changes—will it always be like this !?” is my favorite

orpheus finally standing and is still in pain from all the workers beating him up

him pointing at each of the workers as he says “i’m asking me...and you and you and you!”

the workers each get up as they sing “we stand and listen” (or is it “we stand with him” ?? whatever, you get what i mean). but orpheus is giving them hope !!! yes !!!

how long:

persephone and hades standing on either side of the pit

they were staring at each other, moving in sync like a mirror; when persephone stepped with her right foot, hades with his left, and so on.

chant ii:

the workers and orpheus slowly rising up from the pit

“is it truuuuue ???” echoing in the back, then hades shouting “it’s the bOY !!”

when the workers say “i can’t look at my brother’s eyes,” afra and ahmad started getting up from the center and refused to make eye contact.

while i am still salty about them cutting persephone’s chant ii verse, i didn’t dislike hades’ new part. i liked it.

as hades shouts, “I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY !!!!” aLL THE LIGHTS IN THE THEATRE GO OUT AND IT’S WICKED COOL

epic iii:

sitting in my seat was honestly a perfect spot for me. hades was sitting in his stool and his back was to me, so obviously i couldn’t see much of his facial expressions, but it was literally like i was getting hades perspective as he viewed orpheus singing.

the most magical moment in the show tbh

when orpheus first sings “la la la” and hades says “where’d you get that melody ??” he gets up and starts walking towards orpheus like he’s about ready to fight and sue him for plagiarism

but persephone intervenes with a gentle “let him finish hades” before he takes another step. so he backs off.

when orpheus was singing about how hades “saw [persephone] alone there against the sky, it was like she was someone [he’d] always known,” eurydice steps up on the turntable. orpheus is in the center, with persephone and eurydice on either side of him—truly showing the parallels between orpheus and eurydice’s love with that of hades and persephone’s.

hades eventually gets on the center with orpheus, and the platform rises again. when everyone—workers and fates included—surrounds them on the turntable below, singing with orpheus, hades looks around at all of them, angry and confused

at the big “la la la la la la la” moment when everyone joins in with orpheus, the workers each get up in pairs as their side of the turntable finally faces the audience. they step up and remove their hats.

the workers finally make eye contact with one another

REEVE REALLY HITS THAT NOTE. AND IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL.

the way the flower just appears in hades hands after he sings “la la la la la la la...”

you can really SEE persephone crying

lover’s desire:

persephone putting the flower on his vest is so cute

SHE TAKES HIS HANDS

i love hades and persephone ok shut up i’m soft

KIMBERLY PUTTING HER HAND ON AHMAD’S ARM, THEN LOOKING UP AT HIM AND TIMOTHY. JOHN AND AFRA ARE SIDE BY SIDE, HOLDING EACH OTHER AS THEY WATCH HADES AND PERSEPHONE DANCE.

promises:

honestly i don’t remember too much of it visually because i was too busy crying.

i heard “i don’t need a ring for my finger, i just need a steady hand to hold,” and i just started BAWLING

i think i remember she takes his hand when he says “do you let me walk with you” though

“can we go?”

“i don’t know...”

word to the wise:

the fates dancing around hades was just. mmMMM.

his kiss, the riot:

he removes the flower on his vest. (oh, symbolism, we meet again.)

hades is beside hermes as he tells him “let there be one term to be agreed upon...”

wait for me ii (intro):

ah yes. hermes sitting on that stool as it slowly turns around on the turntable.

wait for me ii:

during my show, andré accidentally sang “that is the road to paradise and likewise the path to ruin.” which is alright. we all make mistakes, it’s okay fam 👏

i started crying again once eva and reeve harmonized on “wait for me...i’m coming” and looked at one another

“are we gonna try again?” “it’s time for spring...we’ll try again next fall.” “wait for me?” “i will.”

as orpheus is walking along the turntable, hermes, persephone, eurydice, and the workers are gathered in the center. near the end of the song when they’re all singing “waiiiit for me... i’m comiiiing, waiiiiiit i’m... coming with you” persephone’s holding out the red flower while eurydice has her hand outstretched to orpheus.

EVA JUMP

“I’M COMING WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE I HEAR THE WALLS REPEATING THE FALLIN’ OF OUR FEET AND !! IT SOUNDS LIKE DRUMMIN’ !!!!!!”

it all goes dark as they sing “i’m coming !!!! (coming !!) (coming !!)”

doubt comes in:

IT’S LITERALLY AS GOOD AS YOU’D THINK IT IS

SO OMINOUS AND SPOOKY WITH THE FOG !!!!

eurydice’s following right behind orpheus, but he doesn’t know that. and the doubt and uncertainty on his face is heart-wrenching.

like. the STRESS on his face as he throws both his hands to his head and clutches his hair.

as the scene needs to focus on orpheus and his perspective of feeling alone, the spotlight is taken off of eurydice as she stops walking and lets the turntable turn until her full figure retreats into darkness. the spotlight is fully on orpheus and orpheus alone.

in the dark, three lanterns gradually rise up from the pit. as the fates start singing, their voices are hauntingly beautiful in the scene.

“doubt comes in...the wind is changing...doubt comes in...how cold it’s blowin’...doubt comes in...and meets a stranger walking on a road a l o n e . where is she ?? where is she now ??”

orpheus’s “who am i ?? why am i all alone ?? who do i think i am ? who am i to think that she would follow me into the cold and dark again.”

“orpheus, i’m listening—i’m right here !! and i will be to the end !! and the coldest night of the coldest year comes right before the spring.”

“i used to see the way the world could be...and now the way it is is all i see.”

orpheus’s realism contrasted with eurydice’s optimism just tugs at your heartstrings. orpheus, the once optimistic poet who “could see the way the world could be” no longer has that gift. eurydice, once a realist, has now been given hope that her lover can show her the way.

near the end of the song, the stairs begin to light up, and so does the exit. they’re so close to the surface—they’re almost there. and eurydice is so hopeful. she’s so certain they’ll make it that she doesn’t even doubt for a second that orpheus will turn around. but suddenly you hear a gasp. and you realize in the blink of an eye that orpheus had made a grave mistake. he’s turned around. his eyes are on eurydice, who’s frozen and in tears.

“it’s you...” he utters.

there’s a long silence

“it’s me...” her words are weak. “orpheus...?”

“eurydice...”

eurydice drops to her knees as she quickly descends back to hadestown. orpheus had scrambled his way to the edge of the pit, helplessly on his knees, staring down at where his lover had just been.

road to hell ii:

hermes’ “a’ight” after a long silence just brought me so many emotions. fuck.

as hermes is singing, eventually orpheus gets up and, with no other choice but to push on, continue his way up the stairs (to the surface), slowly and alone.

“‘cause here’s the thing: to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again...as if it might turn out this time...i learned that from a friend of mine.”

“see, orpheus was a poor boy—“ dressed in her act 1 clothes, eurydice reappears onstage saying, “anybody got a match?” hermes is still up front in the center, facing the audience as he holds out a matchbox in his left hand. “but he had a gift to give...” eurydice comes up and takes the box from him, “gimme that.” she sits down on the ground and takes out the candle from her bag, lighting the match, then lighting her candle.

from her pocket, she takes out a red flower and holds it to her face, sniffing it. a soft smile forms on her lips—like there’s some sentiment to this flower that she’s yet to know of—and puts it in her hair.

as the pit comes back up with all the tables and chairs, there’s persephone sitting on one of the tables.

at the end, orpheus returns back onstage with his apron and everything, stopping at one of the steps as he makes eye contact with eurydice. they’re staring at each other, lovestruck, just as they were in the beginning. “we’re gonna sing it again...”

we raise our cups:

persephone and eurydice’s harmonies 💞💓💖💕❤️💞💞

orpheus playing his guitar onstage even though all that shit just happened 😭 i cri

———

miscellaneous things:

act 1 was great, but the moment act 2 started i instantly knew it was gonna be my favorite. in the past when listening to audio, i always preferred to listen to act 1, with only a couple songs from act 2. so i always thought act 1 was my favorite act. but finally seeing hadestown in person, i think act 2 probably takes the cake.

once curtain call started, i was clapping like mad. when we got to the ensemble bowing, my hands were already dead but i was like, “FUCK IT, IF MY HANDS FALL OFF TONIGHT IT WAS WORTH IT BECAUSE I GOTTA APPRECIATE THIS ENTIRE CAST”

[hookedontaronfics]

Honky Dancer series - Chapter 3

Chapter title: Caught in the Middle Read the previous installment here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Slight cursing, mentions of sex A/N:   More mature themes will develop, so be warned! Enjoy! X

I had never felt so tired in all my life. Or so happy.

I knew balancing work, rehearsals and being a mum would be difficult but I had completely underestimated how exhausting it would also be. Still, I wouldn’t have given up my chance to dance for Rocketman for the world, and somehow my daughter intrinsically gathered that her mummy was doing something inherently “cool” and managed to not give me too much grief when I fell asleep at the supper table. On more than one occasion in the past two weeks.

Still, we managed to fall into a rhythm with me actually getting dinner on the table and helping Clara get her homework done and off to bed at a reasonable hour, and after a lot of bitching on my part, my ex started picking up the slack, which gave me more time to actually sleep. I hated missing out on those evenings with Clara when she was with Zayn but I also knew it was temporary, and I needed to still take care of myself too.

Which is what I was doing that very evening, sitting on the bathroom floor and unwrapping the blood-soaked gauze from my poor feet. I sucked in my breath as I treated the various blisters I’d collected. Yes, even though I danced for a living, I could still end up with battered feet the same as any novice dancer. I hadn’t spent a lot of time in character shoes and my feet weren’t happy about it. I ran some bath water, poured in some epsom salts, and perched on the edge of the tub as I soaked my feet, sighing at the mild relief this afforded me.

Just then my phone pinged with a text, and I reached over to grab it from the sink.

<Rich and I will be in “Honky Cat” rehearsals tomorrow. I have to admit, I’m feeling rather nervous but it will be nice to have a familiar face there.>

I couldn’t help but grin at that. Taron and I had become fast friends over the past couple of weeks. Any time he saw me in the studio he’d stop to chat and was just engaging and charming always, even when he looked beyond tired. I appreciated his sort of positive manner and the way he was kind to literally everyone. He had confided in me about his insecurity over his dancing ability, and even commented that he wasn’t sure he was going to love it, but knowing I’d be there made it feel a little less like a chore. Every time he said something like that I wasn’t exactly sure how to take it.

<We’ll take it easy on you, promise! It won’t be so bad, you’ll see> I texted back with a small smile.

<Yes well, me in tap shoes is an absolute recipe for disaster> Taron texted back, and I had to disagree. It would probably be exceedingly sexy, but I wouldn’t exactly be telling him I thought that.

<As long as you don’t fall on your ass, I’m sure no one will laugh> I teased him lightly.

<There are no guarantees> he replied, making me shake my head and also suddenly start thinking about his ass, which I didn’t need any help with drooling over. He’d alluded more than once to how large he thought his ass was, but I just couldn’t see it. Sure, he was never going to be a lanky man, but that didn’t fit the bill for everyone and I personally thought he was rather fit.

We texted for a little bit longer but I was so knackered that I decided to call it a night shortly after. Dancing already took a lot out of you and required a lot of energy and sweat equity; trying to do that exhausted and semi-braindead was the true recipe for disaster. 

Still, I was excited for tomorrow’s rehearsals. We’d already been working on our “Honky Cat” sequence, as obviously our choreography was more involved than what Taron or Richard Madden would have to learn. I’d yet to meet Richard, though he was all the other girls could talk about. Apparently he was rather handsome but I really only had eyes for Taron, even though we would likely only ever be friends.

I crawled into bed gratefully and crashed hard, having a strange dream where the dancers were actually human-size cats dancing around in sequined, sparkling regalia and waking up semi-amused and also slightly terrified. I grabbed my jar of overnight oats and ate them on the tube as I made my way across town to the now-familiar Paramount studios.

I joined everyone else in warming up, stretching out my long legs in a split, trying to stay loose. The older I got, the more of a battle that ended up being. I chatted lightly with Markus, who I’d gotten to know even better as he stretched next to me. A lot of times the five of us, including Dennis, Pietre and Leah, took our meal breaks together and had come to be quite close friends. I was nervous, for some reason, to be rehearsing with Taron and Richard, though I had no idea why that made me nervous. Maybe it was simply because I didn’t know what to expect with the two.

“So I was thinking we could maybe get drinks later tonight. I’m finally free,” Markus said, breaking into my thoughts.

“Hmmm?” I asked, shaking my head. “Oh, right, yes… We should,” I smiled, remembering that I’d promised to do that with him. “That would be nice. Just tell me when and where,” I said sweetly as Markus’ eyes fairly raked over my body in the leotard and sweatpants I was wearing.

I think he was about to respond but then our choreographer and assistants entered the room, and along with them, Taron and Richard. Somehow Taron’s gaze managed to find mine across the room, and he gave me a sweet smile as the choreographer called us all to attention. He introduced Taron and Richard to us [as if we didn’t know who they were already] and I managed to see several girls pretending to fan themselves. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes slightly at their behavior. Just because I found Taron sexy didn’t mean I was going to let anyone else know it.

We soon got down to business, running through our choreography as Taron and Richard were led through their various parts in all of it. Taron seemed engaged and curious, while Richard was quieter and perhaps more observant.

There were multiple facets of the Honky Cat sequence. At one point the choreo required all the men as tailors and waiters; at another, several of us girls were selected for a dressing room-type setup. I was one of the lucky few chosen for that part, and I had a burning curiosity to know whether Taron had anything to do with that. The part we were working on today, though, was the last finale number, which included tap shoes, top hats and a lot of flamboyance.

To their credit, Taron and Richard put in a hell of an effort though it was obvious neither of them were natural dancers. But they laughed at themselves often and didn’t take it too seriously when they totally messed up, and by the time a break was called we were all a bit out of breath and I had the chorus stuck on endless repeat in my head.

“Hey! You’re doing great!” I grinned as I walked over to Taron. His face lit up as soon as he saw me, and when I came near he threw his arm around me casually.

“Well I haven’t completely disgraced myself yet, you mean,” he laughed. “Have you met Richard yet?” he added, as Richard actually extended his hand out to me, so I took it gingerly and he placed a kiss on my hand. I could literally feel the glaring daggers from the other girls behind me.

“Hi, it’s Juliette. It’s so nice to meet you. Taron’s only gone on and on about you,” I said, making Richard laugh. He had a rather cute chuckle and I could see his curls plastered to his forehead with sweat. Let me tell you, it wasn’t a bad look on him, but I also couldn’t forget the fact that Taron’s arm was around me like we were just old chums. He probably wasn’t thinking about how it would look to anyone else in the room.

“Has he now?” Richard grinned.

“Guilty as charged,” Taron just smirked.

“Not remotely surprised,” Richard bantered right back in that accent of his; I could understand how he made girls literally melt. It was also fun to see Taron and Richard’s obvious camaraderie as we chatted a bit longer before needing to get back to rehearsals. 

I was honestly impressed with the amount of energy and enthusiasm Taron (especially) and Richard gave during rehearsals, if not actual skill. Sometimes effort made up for a lack of actual technicality, at least in the entertainment aspect, and I already knew this movie was going to be entertaining as hell.

Taron, of course, caught up with me as we were packing up to leave. I had two afternoon classes to get to before I was free for the evening, so my lessons were on my mind and I was in a bit of a hurry to get across the city. “Hey, you seem busy,” he said, walking along with me as I headed toward the exit.

“I’ve got two classes to teach still,” I explained. “No rest for the weary, it seems,” I smiled.

“No, I guess not,” he said, looking as if he had something on his mind but had decided not to ask.

“Did you have something to ask me, or …?” I asked, turning to him slightly.

“Oh, it’s probably not important,” he said, shaking his head. “And I really don’t want to add to your workload.”

“If you were about to ask me for help with the choreo, I’d love to. Text me later and we can figure out a time, yeah?” I grinned, and he looked both surprised I had sussed it out and also relieved that I had already agreed to it.

“You’re brilliant. Thank you,” he said, biting his lip slightly, making his adorable dimples pop out.

“Yeah, gotta run, but we’ll talk!” I grinned, waving and pushing my way out into the still-too-warm day. I made it through classes, texting with Taron off and on until we finally agreed on a plan. I didn’t actually have rehearsals the next day, so he agreed to meet me at work after I was done teaching, and we’d have one of the studios to ourselves. Nothing could go wrong with that, right?

I had just enough time to run home, shower, scarf some dinner and try to get ready for my date with Markus. I put on a cute floral dress and a jean jacket over that and pulled on a pair of white slip-on sneaks. I felt effortlessly cute and was excited to spend some time outside of rehearsal with Markus. We had some kind of chemistry and I was curious to see exactly what that meant for us. As Madison had told me, it was time to finally move on from Zayn.

I had agreed to meet up with Markus at a basement cocktail bar called “Happiness Forgets” over in Shoreditch. The place was pricey and popular, and was bustling when I arrived, but Markus found me immediately, sliding his arm around my back and escorting me to the seat he’d saved for me. He looked amazing in tight jeans and a plaid shirt, a grey beanie pulled over his hair and making those steely grey eyes of his stand out.

We ordered drinks and had to lean in quite close to hear each other over the din of the place. The conversation flowed pretty easily and he really made me laugh. I was feeling myself start to relax as I finished my first drink and ordered a second. A couple of times, though, I caught myself thinking things like “I wonder what Taron would think about that,” and I had to wonder what was wrong with me. I tried to make myself focus on Markus and only Markus, because thinking about anyone else wasn’t fair to him.

The night wore on and I admittedly got a fair bit more drunk than I had intended. I was having trouble standing, actually, and was leaning heavily on Markus. “My place is really close to here. Maybe we should just head there first, let you sober up a bit?” he offered, and I nodded at that. Anything to make the room stop spinning would be good. I don’t remember much of the taxi ride to Markus’ flat, to be honest, other than thinking he was absolutely hilarious. God, I was such an idiotic drunk.

He made me sit on his couch and brought me some water, and then sat really close to me, his hand on my bare knee as I sipped the water and tried to focus on his face. We talked briefly - I don’t remember what was said now - before he leaned in and kissed me. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it didn’t light a fire in me either. But it’d been a while since I’d kissed any boy, and I was drunk and I think just wanting to get it over with. So our kisses turned into a lot more, and somehow we ended up in the bedroom together.

He’d pulled my underwear off and shoved my dress above my hips, and he must have been pretty drunk too because otherwise he might have noticed that I wasn’t really into what was happening. I remember wondering if I really wanted to sleep with Markus, but then he was on top of me and pushing inside me and I didn’t tell him no. Did I want this? Did I want him? Or was there someone else on my mind?

I woke up the next morning with my head pounding, alone in the bed. I was disoriented and my mouth was dry. I sat up, still in my dress from the night before and feeling sore between my legs. I groaned as images from the night before started to come back to me. I rolled out of bed and retrieved my underwear from the floor, pulling them up before going to look for the bathroom. The flat was small, so that wasn’t hard to find. I did my business and then looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess, my makeup smudged and I felt like a cheap whore. That wasn’t exactly the outcome I had been hoping for. Even worse, I couldn’t actually remember if my paramour had used a condom. How I was always getting into these situations was beyond me, but I was feeling pretty low about myself. 

I scrubbed my face and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to make myself look a little less awful before going into the main room. Markus was in the kitchen, the sound of something sizzling making my stomach turn. The last thing I could think about was food. Markus came out and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me sweetly, obviously a lot happier about how things had gone than I was. I plastered a smile on my face for him anyway.

“Hey sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” he asked me.

“Hungover as hell, to be honest,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead as he went to retrieve some painkillers and orange juice for me. He was being so sweet to me, so why did I feel so sour? I thought with a sigh. 

It was still early, which meant I wasn’t going to be late for classes, so at least I had that going for me. I put on my best performance for Markus, trying to keep up with his small talk until I could excuse myself without seeming rude. I had no idea what was wrong with me; I’d truly enjoyed his company. He was funny, engaging, and easy on the eyes too. Any girl would be happy to be with him, I was certain. Even worse, he had actually been sweet to me after the fact. Maybe I would have felt better if he’d treated me how I felt on the inside. These thoughts stayed with me the entire rest of the day, and I was exhausted by keeping up a cheery persona through my entire roster of classes.

I had completely forgotten about agreeing to help Taron until he showed up at the dance academy, asking for me at the front desk. They’d sent him up to my studio and I jumped when he peeked his head around the door.

“Oh my goodness, hi,” I said, feeling at once flustered and somehow not prepared, even though there really wasn’t anything to be prepared for. I didn’t like getting caught off guard, but Taron also hadn’t done anything wrong so I tried to once again stuff my irritation with myself down deep.

“Juliette, your student awaits,” he giggled cutely, holding out his arms in a grand gesture before taking in my countenance. I had at least managed to grab a shower on my break, but I still must have looked rough because his brow wrinkled in concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Just exhausted, Taron, but it’s the usual lately,” I said, trying to muster a smile for him.

“We could always reschedule,” he said, walking softly across the hardwood floor. “I’m more concerned about you right now.”

“That’s awfully sweet of you, but I promise I’m fine. Dancing will help me forget I’m so tired,” I grinned. Yeah, dancing with Taron specifically would help me forget my troubles, I thought, as we wired his phone into the studio’s speakers. He’d managed to smuggle out a copy of Honky Cat and made me promise not to tell anyone, which just made me giggle. Such a rebel.

“Who am I going to tell, Taron Egerton, my mum?” I asked, making him chuckle at that.

“Well, mum’s the word, m’dear,” he snickered, and his joy instantly lifted my mood.

“Very punny,” I laughed despite myself. “Alright, let’s get something done, shall we?”

We went to work and probably laughed more than Taron actually danced, but I was able to help make some sense out of certain movements for him, things that weren’t natural in the way we normally walked or moved our bodies. Learning that dance language took years to perfect, but I loved seeing the lightbulb go off in his mind; his face was always just so expressive so it was obvious when something clicked for him. I enjoyed how much of a natural performer he was also; I’m sure some of the funny faces he pulled were only for my benefit that day, but he was the most joyous person I’d ever been around.

There was one movement he was struggling with, though, and I crouched down to help explain it. I was so used to physically correcting my students that I don’t think I exactly thought it through when I put my hand square against his hip and told him to give me his leg. I was grateful he wasn’t looking at me because I was blushing hard.

He shifted his weight into his right as I tugged his foot up, making him bend his knee. He tottered like that for a brief moment, trying to figure out his balance, and cursed slightly when he started to fall and had to catch himself but then crashed into me slightly. “Fuck, I’m sorry!” he gasped, embarrassed and red-faced but I had to laugh.

“Taron, you’re not the first guy that’s fallen on me,” I teased, waving it off and realizing how very close our faces were now as we stared at each other. He had his hands on my shoulders to steady himself, but then dropped them awkwardly to his sides.

“Still, I feel like I should apologize,” he admitted, and I shook my head.

“Nonsense. It happens. And no one would feel comfortable in platform tap shoes anyway. I think you’re doing brilliantly, and that you wanted to work on this outside of rehearsals shows how much you care. Now, let’s try it again.”

We worked on that sequence more than a few times, and I think he was getting it by the time I decided we should take a water break. He left to use the restroom and I grabbed my phone, checking it in case I had any updates on Clara I needed to attend to. Instead I had several texts from Markus asking me when we might get together again. The idea of it actually made me slightly apprehensive, but I gave a non-committal “soon! Look forward to it” and figured that wouldn’t actually be happening soon because we were both incredibly busy with rehearsals and teaching. Dating as an adult in my 30s was so completely different then it ever had been when I was younger. I didn’t realize all the time I used to have back then that actually belonged to me; now it was just enough to get myself fed and showered and keep my flat some semblance of not a total disaster.

I must have been extremely lost in thought because I didn’t hear Taron return until he had taken a seat next to me on the floor, crossing his legs and tipping his water bottle back. “Going to tell me what’s bothering you now?” he asked gently.

I wanted to lie and say everything was great, but the way he was looking over at me, studying my face in his introspective way, told me he’d already determined I was using this session to run away from my problems.

“I went out with Markus last night. We had sex, and now I feel awful,” I blurted out. I have no idea what possessed me to tell him that much, but I also intrinsically knew I could trust him. And somehow, it made me feel better to get that off my chest too.

“Why do you feel awful. He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Taron said, narrowing his eyes for a moment but I vehemently shook my head.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just, I was very drunk and I’m not sure I would have made that choice had I been completely sober,” I admitted. “But the thing is, there’s nothing wrong with Markus, and I enjoyed his company a lot. And I don’t know if there’s just something wrong with, well, me.”

“What? Of course there isn’t anything wrong with you, Juliette. You don’t have to be physically into every guy you go out to drinks with,” he said, reaching over and grabbing my hand supportively. And it was comforting, that one small gesture. “That doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you human, and full of emotions and desires that don’t have to make sense to anyone else.”

I’m not sure what response I had expected from Taron, maybe to assume something bad about Markus? But he had said nothing of the sort, was only protective and supportive of me and how I was feeling. I looked over at him, searching his gaze for something but I wasn’t really sure what.

“You are crazy talented, and have the most generous heart when it comes to your students, and your beauty is beyond my ability to describe,” he spoke in a whisper. But the way he drew goosebumps over my skin without a single touch, he might as well have been shouting them in a megaphone. Oh, I heard him loud and clear, my breath catching in my throat like I’d just done 18 fouettes in a row.

“You can’t possibly mean that about me,” I whispered back.

“Oh but I do, and I’ve thought it ever since I saw you dance. Your spirit just commands the space. I don’t even think you’re aware of that, but you put all of who you are out there. You’re not afraid to just be in that moment, completely and unapologetically who you are. And it’s both admirable and breath-taking. Maybe no one else has taken the time to look, but I have, and I see you.”

The tension in the room couldn’t have been heavier at the moment, as I crashed so suddenly into feelings I’d been holding back, feelings I wouldn’t allow because there was no way Taron would have returned them. Only right now, the words he was speaking said otherwise.

“We should get back to our rehearsal,” I said a bit weakly, closing my eyes for a moment, almost as if to break the spell his green eyes had put me under.

It didn’t work, because the next thing I knew, I had leaned in and he met me the rest of the way, kissing me so gently, so achingly sweetly, I wasn’t sure I’d ever really been kissed before. And then I kissed him back, and his hand gently tangled in my hair, and the room started to spin in a completely different way. We got lost in the feeling of our lips against one another’s, our breaths mingling as an entirely new facet of our relationship opened up before us. I could have kissed him forever, but we had to breathe at some point, and we were both panting when we pulled away. I giggled shyly, covering my mouth with my hand and at a total loss for words. I had just made out with Taron freaking Egerton, and I just wanted to do it some more.

“Holy shit, I’m so… I didn’t mean… I mean, was that okay?” he asked me, eyes wide and looking a bit shell-shocked himself, like he had no idea what had gotten into himself.

“Better than okay,” I nodded, a bit breathlessly.

“I don’t want to be taking advantage of you being emotional or anything,” he said, stuttering a bit over his words.

“Taron, just stop. I know you wouldn’t be like that,” I smiled, slowly running my fingers over my lips, which were still tingling. “I’ve been feeling this for weeks about you.”

“You have?” he asked, the surprise evident in his voice. Clearly, I’d done a good job at acting indifferent toward him but the last bits of my resolve had already crumbled away.

“I mean, it’s hard to not be curious. We clearly get along really well. And the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I’ve wanted to know about who you really are away from the cameras.”

“So, how about that dinner we talked about? I could bore you for hours about all of that,” he said with an adorable grin. “Let me prove I’m more of a gentleman than I just showed you,” he chuckled, running his fingers through his hair a bit shyly.

“How about Saturday?” I smiled; his nervousness as he fidgeted with his hands was cute.

“Yeah, perfect. I’ll pick you up, so just text me your address,” he said.

“I can take the tube, it’s no big deal,” I laughed.

“But it is to me. I don’t make my ladies get themselves about town. You’ll be properly escorted, m’dear,” he said, smirking at me slightly.

“I can’t argue with that,” I said, genuinely excited about it and looking forward to some one-on-one time with Taron not at the studios. There was so much I still wanted to know about him, and he still didn’t know about Clara yet either. I figured dinner might be the best time to bring it up, lay the cards on the table so the speak.

“So, shall we get back to this rehearsal of ours, then?” I laughed. “We aren’t stopping until you get that sequence down perfectly,” I smirked as he groaned playfully. I stood up and offered my hand. “Well come on, princess,” I teased, pulling him to his feet as he laughed over that.

We finished our practice, sweaty and out of breath and also feeling pretty good about where we were both at. He thanked me so sweetly for helping him out and I could only hope he was feeling more confident than before. He kept me company as I locked the place up and even dared to kiss me on the cheek after walking me out of the studio.

We took our good-byes and as I rode the tube across town, the feeling of his lips against my skin lingered long after we had parted ways. I picked up Clara from my mum’s and after making dinner, helping with homework, taking Troy for his evening walkies, and getting my daughter tucked in for the night, I finally phoned Madison, who was simply dying for an update. 

“I can’t take it anymore! You have to tell me how last night went!” she squealed without even a hello when she picked up the call. Wednesdays were always a day off for her, so we hadn’t run into each other at the studio or I’m sure I would have already had to recount all of this.

“Well, it’s been a hell of a night and day, I can tell you that,” I laughed softly. “Last night was… well, drinks were fine, I was enjoying the night but I got way too drunk and ended up at Markus’ flat.”

“Oh no,” Mads replied sympathetically, knowing where this was going. Look, I can only apologize so much for having a predictable history.

“So yeah, drinks turned very quickly into sex,” I sighed, having almost forgotten how bad that had made me feel after Taron had managed to lift my spirits.

“You don’t sound pleased. Was he just bad?” she asked.

“I couldn’t tell you. I barely remember it. I mean, he didn’t really do anything wrong, because I didn’t tell him no. But when I woke up the next morning I just felt used and slutty, to be honest.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, Juliette. That’s not how it should have gone down,” Madison replied, still with that tone of sympathy in her voice.

“No, but again, Markus didn’t really do anything wrong. He was sweet enough, and he looked handsome. But I don’t really think my heart is in it, at least not yet.”

“So are you going to see him again?” she asked.

“Maybe? I don’t know. I feel like I should at least see how it goes without the aid of alcohol, you know? Give him a fair chance before I reject him totally. And anyways, I still have to dance with him.”

“That’s not really a good reason to date someone, you know,” she said, and I could practically visualize the concerned look on her face.

“Yeah, well, maybe it’s what I deserve,” I replied, a bit tritely. “I mean, I did make out with Taron when he came over for his practice today,” I continued, barrelling right through Madison’s attempts to say I didn’t deserve to feel bad or something.

There was complete silence on the other end for a moment. “You what?” she practically screamed, and I tried to explain exactly what had happened, though it was a bit difficult without the full context of the conversation we had been having.

“So… We have plans, for dinner on Saturday. Like a real dinner, I think. He wants to pick me up and everything. Which I’m absolutely thrilled about but how do you go from having sex with one guy and making out with another in 12 hours and feel not like a complete whore?”

“If that makes you a whore then I have no idea what I am,” Madison said, making me roll my eyes.

“That one time you were invited to an orgy and you thought it was a costume party doesn’t count, Mads. You’re the most innocent woman I know.”

“Doesn’t excuse my one night of debauchery,” she giggled.

“Oh please. I think worse things on a daily basis then that,” I joked back. “You saw some naked bits and then called me drunk and blubbering about it to pick you up,” I laughed.

“Well anyway, the point is, doing one ….ahhh person, and wanting someone else, isn’t exactly a sin. And you’re not technically in an exclusive relationship with either. There were no promises broken here. I told you to explore your options and you are, so I think you should be proud of yourself really, because I am.”

“Thanks, Mads. You always know how to make me feel better,” I smiled.

“You overthink everything. I love you, but it’s true. Just have some fun. I mean, it’s not every girl who gets to say Taron Egerton took her to dinner,” she giggled along with me.

“Holy shit, right?” I grinned.

“And I will forever get to say I told you so,” Madison laughed.

“Yeah, yeah,” I groaned at that. We talked a little bit longer but it had gotten late and I was completely exhausted by that point.

I got myself ready for bed quickly, trying to not hold onto any guilt or shame. As Madison had said, I’d made no relationship promises to either man. Markus was attractive and lovely, sure, but there was something about Taron that made me stupid in the best way. He was incredibly handsome but I think it had more to do with the way he made me feel like the most important person in the room. When they talked about having that “IT” factor, well, Taron had it in spades. And I was head over ballet heels for him. I knew it, and not denying it anymore was its own kind of relief.

How he would react about my daughter, though, that would be the real test. I would never be able to consider someone who didn’t want to fully engage with her in their lives. I would eventually have to make the best choice for my daughter as much as myself, and this tempered just a little of my excitement over Saturday. I eventually managed to slip off to sleep, wondering how the next couple days of rehearsals, with me caught squarely between Markus and Taron, would go.

Keep reading in Chapter 4 HERE.

[catsandstrawberries]

Real Family 8

Pairings: BTS x teen female reader, platonic love

Warnings: Language, neglect, descriptions of a panic attack and past child abuse 

A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in so long, hopefully, this chapter makes up for it. Also, I PROMISE Yoongi gets better but for the next few chapters he's going to be a jerk..I'm sorry but I can't imagine him feeling ok with reader living with him at this point in time. 

Summary: It’s not blood that makes a family. It’s love.

Masterlist 

The week after they had given me my own phone they had automatically became super busy. They were always leaving early in the mourning and coming home late at night, I didn't really expect anything different considering they were idols. Sometimes they would invite me to come with them to dance practice, I thought it would be fun until I saw all of the hip rolls and thrust in their choreo. Dancing like that in front of the girl who's living with you and trying not to be too sexual is weird.

So for the most part I stayed at home, and indulged in the Netflix account Jungkook made for me. Honestly, most of my days were spent eating and watching the show called the Office. In the past week I had watched seven seasons of the Office and finished Parks and Recreations. Both of which made me cry at some point from laughter and sadness. Taehyung also helped me set up an Instagram and Twitter, and sometimes we would send each other awkward selfies when he had some downtime at work. Apparently, Namjoon had even started an Instagram called the BTS family, and I later found out that the day I was supposed to get coffee for Bang, led to him yelling at the boys for not using me to my promotional potential. Or at least that was my guess and when I told Jungkook my theory, his widened eyes and exclamation of ‘you're not a promotional tool to us!’ told me my hunch was right. 

All the boys had the password except for me to the Instagram account, which was a little aggravating but Namjoon also had to sit me down and talk to me about how I would need to be responsible in what I posted since I gained about 8 million followers on Instagram. The Bts Fam account was also just cringey photos of myself. There was one of me from the photo shoot, one of me and Tae, the rainbow shot of the boys and one of me sleeping on the couch. I messaged Jin asking (begging) him to delete it because I was drooling in the photo but in response, he sent me a laughing emoji.

Currently, I was watching reruns of the office since Hoseok asked me not to watch the final season without him. I refused to hold back my laughter as Kevin spilled his chilly onto the floor or when Stanley talked about his love of pretzel day. But as soon as the door slammed shut followed by a silence I immediately muted the show, calling out, “hello?” Even though I knew the house was pretty top security, doors slamming and the silence always scared me. “Just me (Y/N)!” Namjoon poked his head out from behind the wall, looking up from his phone and tucking it in his pocket. “You're back early,” I stated turning around on the couch and leaning my head against the frame to get a better view. “Yeah practice got out earlier and they decided to give us off till Monday.” He sounded so relieved but it was only Saturday, it was sad to think they had to work so hard just to get one day off. Instead of crushing his dreams though I simply smiled. “That's great.” I then noticed the quiet in the building, “what happened to the boys?” He flopped down on the couch next to me, “they went to get food-.” I immediately groaned, “Not salads again!” BTS comeback was in a few months and of course, they all were expected to diet and one of the first and only things Yoongi had said to me this week was, “If we're doing it so is she.” He didn't even say it to my face or address me, so our relationship wasn't really getting anywhere. “Sorry.” He smirked, words not matching his emotion. “Actually, when the boys get back we all should talk.” I gulped, turning off the Tv and turning to Namjoon. “Is s-something wrong?” I stuttered, despite the fact I was getting more comfortable with them I was always waiting for something wrong to happen, expecting it. Maybe this was it. Namjoon opened his mouth but the loud shouting of Hoseok prompted him to roll his eyes instead. “(Y/N) you better not have watched the last season without me!” An annoyed sigh followed by a wack came from the other room. “Can you quiet down Hoseok, anyways we have to talk to her remember.” Jin's strict voice startled me, what was so important? Jimin soon filtered into the room ruffling my hair as he passed by then jumping over the couch to sit by me. After he had done it at the photoshoot it kind of became our ‘thing’. Even after plentiful whining from Tae and Kook about how they wanted a ‘thing’ too. The rest of the boys flooded into the room, Jin handing me a bowl of greens and vegetables, the only thing slightly appealing was the boiled eggs. I tried not to act too ungrateful, even a salad was better than no food, but why did I have to diet with them, stupid Yoongi. Once everyone had settled down and Jungkook handed me a fork, all eyes were on the leader. He twiddled slightly with his thumbs as he spoke, “So (Y/N), I got a message from the state the other day about them sending a social worker to check up on you. Apparently, it's routine for them to see your lifestyle, how you're adjusting and everything.” I practically sighed in relief at his words, if this was the news then I had nothing to worry about. I suddenly perked up as a thought entered my head, “is the social worker Katie?” I honestly missed Katie, even though we fought and got on each other's nerves she was the closest thing I had to a mom. Jimin chuckled next to me and I blushed from my sudden excitement, stuffing a large piece of kale into my mouth. “The email didn't specify,” his tone then turned serious, “but, (Y/N) I was doing some research and they said if the meeting didn't go well you could get revoked from our parental rights.” Of course, I knew this, since it had happened in the past, but was he really worried about that?  “Namjoon it's nothing to worry about, the state would only take me away if I was in an unfit home. Like the last place I lived at they drank a lot, called me names, tried to…” I faltered off just as Jimin had tensed from beside me. “I-I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry.” I hung my head in defeat, that wasn't just something I'd blurt out why did I feel so inclined to bring it up now. “Anyways, you guys will be fine, I have a roof, food, The Office.” I chuckled but this time no one laughed with me, all eyes downcast or glaring into the distance. Clearing my throat I started to eat more of my salad, “you guys will be fine, when is it?” My question caused Namjoon to blink a few times before looking at me. “Tuesday. We’re supposed to have a practice that day but I convinced Bang to let us leave for a few hours.” Jungkook let out an audible ‘yes’ followed by an ‘ow’ as he was smacked by Yoongi. “Is that all we had to talk about?” The nervous look on Namjoon's face only deepened and my stomach started to twist. “No. We enrolled you into a private school.” I gulped the remaining food in my mouth hanging my head in my hands once again letting out an annoyed groan, “you start Monday.”

When Tae had offered to take me to Target to shop for school supplies I did not question him. I thought he was just trying to do something nice. But as soon as the car pulled up to the mall Tae started to head for the store that screamed expensive in big glowing letters. Gucci. “Tae I can't go in there, isn't that for like expensive people?” Tae turned towards me, pushing his sunglasses up once they started to roll down the rim of his nose. His black and red checkered bandana pulled his hair back and the black Gucci shirt and jeans did nothing to hide his appearance or physique. “Don't worry so much, we’ll just make a quick stop then leave.” I grumbled under my breath, I doubted Tae could simply just make a ‘quick stop’ at Gucci. The security guard in front of the store gave Tae a nod followed by, “welcome back, Mr. Kim.” Jesus how many times had Tae been to this store. The guard gave me a side eye but didn't mention anything as I walked closer to Tae. The insides of the store were terrifying, everything looked expensive and I worried that if I touched something I would somehow fall 5 million into debt. The store was lit with a soft yellow and white glow, a set of purses in a glass case covering an entire wall, a full room of shoes and mannequins with strange looking sweaters were placed in the oddest of places. Turning a corner I almost jumped when seeing a mannequin holding a Gucci bag in one hand and a strange interpretation of a Kimono on the body. Trestles and chains hanging from the shoulders.

“Tae can we please get going soon, am I even old enough to be in a store like this?” Just as I asked, I walked by a set of baby clothes all pricing over 1,000 dollars. “Don't answer that,” I grumbled while Tae openly laughed at me. “Why don't you go wait outside while I check out,” before I could argue Tae was raising an eyebrow at me. “I'll be quick I promise.” Taking him for his word I exited the fancy store, casually leaning by the wall and taking out my phone.

Not even five minutes after walking out of the store Tae was done, meeting me outside a bag in hand. “What did you get?” I asked but he simply brushed off my question, “just some stuff. Here I got you these.” He placed a pair of sunglasses over my eyes, “you'll need them the more we go out in public.” Pulling a black mask from his pocket he quickly placed it over his mouth, “let's go.”

Once we had gotten to Target, Tae of course immediately got distracted. “(Y/N) these would look so cute on you, look!” He was like a kid in a candy store, shoving clothes in my hands and carrying me throughout the department. “Tae, why are we looking at clothes when I have a school uniform?” Tae turned towards me taking the clothes out of my hand and placing them in a handheld basket. “Don't think I don't notice the seven pairs of clothes you rotate through in a week (Y/N). I'm not an idiot.” Despite the cloth, over his mouth, I heard every syllable, and I looked away in annoyance. “Besides I can't let my kid go out in public without the proper clothes.” He turned away for a moment muttering something about how he wished it was Gucci, but the only thing I cared about was how he described me as ‘his kid.’ “Go try these on.” He handed me a big basket of clothes, “all of them?” Tae glared at me, before sighing. “Seriously (Y/N), please go try them on.” I glared at the ground as I walked towards the dressing room, not missing the smirk that passed Taehyung's face as I muttered, “only because you said please.”

After a full-on argument with Tae about how I didn't need 12 pairs of jeans he finally gave in and let me choose half of the clothes out of the pile he gave me. So the original fifty items soon turned into twenty-five. Shopping with Tae was seriously a hassle. Every time I remotely looked at something he would be breathing down my neck asking if I wanted it. Sure it may seem nice but it was also annoying. So far he had shoved Yankee Candles, fairy lights, and some supplements into the basket for my room, stating that ‘I needed to decorate.’ He tried to grab more especially when we got to the room decorating section with sheets, mirrors, hangars, couches and the fancy led lights. I had to drag him to the school section which was odd because that was the ONLY reason we were supposed to go to Target and we seemed to buy everything except for school supplies. As soon as we got to the aisle Tae’s nose scrunched up in disgust, “I hated school.” I glared at him and he quickly realized his mistake, “I mean school was fun...yay, learning.” Tae walked over to a pile of fancy looking notebooks and binders and simply swiped them into the basket from the shelf. “I actually met Jimin in high school.”

“Really?” I asked slightly in awe, everyone always talked about how once they graduated they moved on from there high school friends. “Yeah, Jimin got picked on a lot for his accent so I always tried to stand up for him. That's how we became friends.” He turned back towards me a smile on his face, “I know school can be rough, but try giving this one a chance.” I smiled and nodded throwing a pack of pens into the basket. If only I had known exactly what would happen at my new school.

[popliar]

BTS: Love Yourself in Hong Kong

23 and 24 March 2019 - I loved it and had many thoughts about it below the cut.

For the Saturday 23 March show, our seats were basically looking onto the podium at the end of the catwalk so they were great. But the venue is honestly so small that any seat would've been good - this was the 3rd of 4 shows in Hong Kong, and probably the smallest shows they played on the Love Yourself tour and the smallest they'll play in years (except for Muster, lol).

For the Sunday 24 March show, our seats were one section further away from the stage, but it was still a great view with a broader angle that gave me a better view of the staging and VCRs. Both nights, I had a better view than I did at the Sydney Wings show in 2016 - this was just a smaller, closer arena.

And I enjoyed both shows so much! The shows were almost 3 hours long each but they felt like they went by in a flash. And they played so many songs, but also there were SO many more I wish they could've played - their discography is really wild at this point, it's just PACKED with hits.

In many ways the live show is the ultimate piece of fan memorabilia - but it holds a kind of tension within itself too. On the one hand, it's a unique, irreplaceable experience that can't be duplicated or repeated. On the other, especially in kpop where we have so much access to fancams and concert footage, there's pressure for the experience to meet the expectations that we have, to live up to the hype of the previous shows.

(Those two things play off each other too. How else would we - or some of us, anyway - know to watch out for those micro deviations, those little moments when Jimin runs away from Namjoon in Anpanman, when Taehyung and Jin look like they're gonna make out in So What?)

But this idea of the experience as unique and non-replicable is not quite true or not quite as simple as that. We live in an age of digital media and - this is especially true in kpop - incredibly high quality fancams and photos. Sitting at a remove of many metres, and viewing only one side of the stage, there were definitely moments that I 'missed' and had to discover later through social media. And also there's a concert DVD and a concert movie which captures maybe not your show in particular, but the essentials of this tour.

One thing that can't truly be replicated - the atmosphere. It made me laugh, in a delighted way, when the crowd just screamed and sang along to every MV and BT21 CF shown before the show. I just love the comraderie of fandom, the build of excitement. Or how pretty it looked when all the Army bombs were lit up, or when we all took out our phones. It was a good feeling. (Though as @proteinscollide said some Korean-speakers in the row behind us pointed out - it was noticeable that the crowd was much quieter when it was the Korean rather than English! LOL.)

Some of the very brief ments early in the show were repeated the following night, but their ending ments were unique to each evening. A Cantonese translator from behind the scenes translated after each of them spoke, except when they spoke in English - this helped me a little, but my Cantonese is so poor and the crowd was so LOUD that again I had to check on twitter afterwards for full translations! A few of them tried to also say some phrases in Cantonese which was very endearing; out of them all, Hoseok had the best pronounciation (which I guess fits in well with his history of having pretty good Japanese and English pronounciation too).

ETA: oh and I loved Jin with the disco ball sunnies and the pirate mask for each of the end ments!!! He's so ridiculous....I love him....

Notably on the 23rd, it was the first time Namjoon referenced their upcoming Map of the Soul: Persona comeback. On the 24th, he mentioned again that comeback was coming and it felt like it was really soon - you're telling me LOL.

Okay brief notes on the setlist:

Idol - what a way to start the show with a bang. As far as live staging goes, it's so dynamite.

Save Me/I'm Fine - I always feel like Save Me is such a tease because it stops right before my favourite verse from Hoseok and Yoongi lol but I DO love I'm Fine!

Magic Shop - lots of walking around on stage rather than choreo, this is such a lovely song!

Junghope VCR - this VCR omg. I had seen blurry fancams of it before but can we just pause and reflect for a moment on how immensely shippy it is? THEY ARE IN LOVE! SO DOMESTIC! THE RED STRING OF FATE don't look at me.

Just Dance - wow, Hoseok just makes such amazing use of the stage. Even after having seen the LY concert movie and NUMEROUS fancams, it really is true that the full impact of this stage is best experienced live (this is a great thread). The way he uses the entire space, on the raised platform and then on the catwalk, how he interacts with the crowd - he's just DYNAMITE.

Euphoria - the aesthetic of this song is so Jungkook to me, the optimism and the brightness. Also I don't know how but on the first night I somehow did not notice the gold glitter in the air AT ALL? I guess I was too caught up in JK and the dancers!

I Need U/Run - I JUST LOVE THESE SO MUCH THANK U. I was rewatching the MVs today and I just… what a time, what an era. HYYH gave us so much.

Minjoon VCR - this just screams Lake House AU, doesn't it? Separated by time but not space… Speaking of AUs, it's fascinating to think about how this was originally Yoongi and Jimin (shown in the concert DVD behinds). So they originally paired up Serendipity and Seesaw? I think it makes more sense the way it is now. Would be super interesting to see the unshown VCRs though.

Serendipity - I looked for Jimin’s tattoo both nights! And did not see it, argh! Yet the fansite photos clearly show, it was there. Sometimes, you don't see it at all at the time. This is a great stage, Jimin is such a magnetic performer and it's a super impressive dance. Also, bubbles!

Love - the boldness of Namjoon to perform this completely solo, no dancers, no stage effects aside from lighting - I admire that so much. He has the charisma for it. (Also it is very great when Namjoon slips off his robe and Hobi helps him put on his jacket, in a neat reversal of what they did for Boy Meets Evil/BST at an awards show a couple of years ago, p.s. Namseok.)

DNA - The screams for this! Both during the show and before the show when the MV was showing - it really speaks to how many people became fans in the LY era, I think. I think I've come really full circle on DNA. I grew almost tired of it when it was at its peak, but now with a bit of time and distance, I can really enjoy it again. That choreo is still wonderful. (And it's hilarious seeing that Vhope moment in the beginning get more and more casual over the course of this tour. At both shows, they just held hands or just hugged.)

Medley - the first night was I think Boyz with Fun, Attack on Bangtan, Fire, Baepsae, Dope. Second night was Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat and Tears, Boy in Luv, Fire. I enjoyed both immensely! Hobi did the splits for the Baepsae dance break! I will never be over BST! I LOVE!

Airplane Pt 2 - this is just such a superior song and superior choreo, it's SO GOOD, thank you.

Taehyung VCR - this is so stunning, I can't even. When it pulls back and he puts his hand on the glass… and it frosts over... At the end my friend leaned over and said 'house of psychics' and was she wrong? NO SHE WAS NOT.

Singularity - this stage was immensely beautiful and breathtaking and Taehyung is purely charisma. I found out after the show that he was kind of sick on the 23rd? I honestly could not tell.

Fake Love - I've seen this so many times but you know what, this choreo is still GREAT. And Bangtan in all black, all emo is such a look.

Yoonjin VCR - this was the most straight forward of the VCRs. Again, fascinating to think it was originally Namjoon and Seokjin, Love and Epiphany.

Seesaw - the staging for this is so fun, Yoongi doing his dances and sliding off the bench and running back up again - he's so good at this!

Epiphany - oh good crying time. I did actually get a tear in my eye when this played the first night. It's just a song that means a lot to me… MUSIC, EMOTIONS! A POTENT COMBINATION! And Jin is very handsome.

The Truth Untold - vocal line all in a row like four flowers, they're just so good! The way this stage used the raised platform and the four screens was also really effective. It's such a lovely song.

Tear - I've seen so many fancams for this and the concert movie but I was still? blown?? away????? Rapline are just absolutely monsters of charisma and stage presence, and the way they deliver this with complete commitment - I was slain right there. Hoseok's ending verse, FUCK.

Mic Drop - NO ONE DOES IT LIKE BTS thank u

This was the 'end' of the show but of course we all knew there would be more. Strangely, or perhaps this is cultural, this led to a subdued interlude. There were definitely attempts to get fanchants going - sometimes successful, sometimes not, I laughed a little at some of the awkward pauses - and especially on the 23rd, there was a touching crowd singalong to Spring Day. But overall it was more subdued than I expected given how loudly the crowd did scream when BTS were on stage.

So What - SUCH A CLUB ANTHEM, it was so delightful seeing them all having so much fun! I had fun too! Fun for everyone!

Anpanman - the cutest fucking choreo, and the cutest fucking group, that is all.

Answer: Love Myself - all the ending feels… emotionally wrung out… a little exhausted… but just seeing how happy they looked and how happy I felt - I love concert.

[thewickedverkaiking]

DEH Recap 25 July 2018 (Stephen's Debut!)

I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND REALIZED I NEVER POSTED ABOUT MY FIRST EVER BROADWAY MUSICAL WHAT THE FUCK IM A DUMBASS

anyway here's my recap of deh when i went to see it on broadway back in fucking july of last year

ACT 1

we were towards the back of the theatre but the music box is so small we honestly had a great view of both the stage and the band!!

stephen was such a cute evan, he was really anxious but a little more optimistic than ben platt

the opening monologue was so fast omg 

it might just have been me but it seemed like rachel’s mic was turned a little low especially in comparison to evan. it sounds fine in the audio but i had a *little* trouble hearing one or two of her lines in the theatre. it might have been acoustics idk

heidi is so painfully optimistic it hurts my heart

alex’s connor literally does not give a fuck. mike’s connor came across as a kid who had too many emotions he didn’t know how to deal with; alex’s connor is just flat out apathetic

jlt’s cynthia seems a little sterner/reprimanding compared to the earlier boots i’ve seen so that’s an interesting change

at the “he’s not high” part alex had a really creepy smile on his face and then he stalked so defiantly offstage

olivia’s zoe was colder than i expected; her zoe is a little more similar to laura’s 

phoenix’s alana—bless her heart, she was so earnest and adorable 

when jared said that line about zoe’s instagram, stephen was so distressed he spun in an entire circle to make sure no one was listening it was hilarious

sky is really funny but i feel like will is much funnier in terms of comedic timing? like sky’s jared is still an asshole but will’s jared is like. Major Asshole™

there was this mixed groan + laugh throughout the audience during the school shooter line

waving through a window was gorgeous i’m not ashamed to admit that was when i started crying

‘evan right?’ ‘eVAN!!’ and he was so horrified he covered his mouth with both hands

during the jazz band part my mom was like “he’s so nerdy” lmao

the staging and choreo of wtaw is so fucking powerful i love it i love it i love it so much

evan’s desperation during the letter scene was so painfully acute and real and he started crying during ‘i wish everything was different’ 

i’ve always liked the letter scene/wtaw reprise but i never expected to cry so hard during it

alex said the line ’you fell out of a tree? well, that is just the saddest fucking thing i ever heard’ like, completely monotonous 

‘because there’s zoe’; my mom next to me: ‘oh no’

the only time real!connor ever showed emotion was when he yelled at evan at the end of the lab scene he was completely apathetic anywhere else 

asa somer’s larry is a little less stoic than michael park’s 

evan’s head nod at the dinner table was so exaggerated it was like he was going to nod his head off lmao

righ after evan said “i remember a lot of good things about connor” his face was instantly like ‘oh shit’

for forever never used to be a favorite song of mine until now bc wow it was so pure and earnest and heartbreaking 

‘girls we wish would notice us’ he looked at zoe and then whipped his face away so quick

the absolute sass and shade heidi throws about evan’s stepmother lmao

ALRIGHT!! IT SAYS CONNOR!!! ON YOUR CAST!!!!

honestly evan talks to heidi like he’s just…trying to placate her and wait until she’s gone; like he doesn’t really care about what she’s trying to say and it breaks my heart :((

fake connor is so much more animated than real connor alex really shows the difference between the two 

the nipples pose was the most Fucking Cursed thing i’ve ever seen in my life 

sky laughed so hard at ‘im sending pictures of the most amazing trees’

alex does the ‘not because we’re gay’ line quite differently from mike; alex’s one is like ‘no of course not we’re not gay!!’

connor and evan high-fived

jared actually never touches them when during the sincerely me dance, it’s like he’s trying to participate but can’t and idk i think that was a really genius blocking move

when evan left the murphy after giving them the emails he made a huge berth around zoe 

requiem fucked me up!! when cynthia was sitting on connor’s bed and hugging his pillow to her chest i couldn’t take it i started sobbing

olivia’s voice is so lilting and pretty, but she hit ‘monster’ really harsh and then broke down crying 

the transition from heidi not being able to do taco tuesday and evan going for dinner at the murphys is just genius that’s all

evan freaked out so bad when he said ‘you’ve never been poor then’ and olivia was so deadpan the whole time it was great

evan’s so in love with zoe during if i could tell her it was adorable and tender and sweet

i think zoe genuinely wanted to know what connor thought about her, she just didn’t want to show it 

he didn’t freak out that much after ‘really pretty—er, good’ but when zoe asked ‘he did?’ he made this really frustrated ARGH noise which was so funny

zoe really was just drinking in everything evan said, which was beautiful and heartbreaking

stephen's voice wavered a little on the last 'i love you' which was kind of funny

phoenix's comedic timing as alana is really great which kind of surprising.  i didn't expect alana to be so funny even with all her intensity and earnestness

anyway, disappear was really cool because alex and stephen are almost the same height? and from the back of the theatre they look p similar in terms of build and all that, so the way the scene was blocked made it look like good angel/bad angel which was just so neat!

the scene where cynthia gave evan connor's tie just broke my heart ouch

the part where evan screws up his speech just before ywbf is honestly so painful to watch because of how accurate it is

stephen is such a great actor his horror and fear and shame is all so palpable

he was just lying there on the ground and sobbing

you will be found was glorious the whole stage was lit up and all the projections were screaming

cynthia's "you did" was just so excited and joyful her smile was so infectious 

baby alex was really adorable i die

when zoe appeared on her bed with the blue light washing over her she looked so alone and so sad i just wanted to run up to her and give her a hug

when larry broke down and cynthia hugged him i wanted to cry

the whole scene and song was just so powerful and the lights and projections and blocking all just tie in so so well

actually that applies for the whole show lmao

ACT 2

evan really brushes off jared after the sincerely me reprise and sky really plays up jared's hurt and ouch

honestly evan's fights with heidi in act 2 are so painful because evan's just getting colder and drifting away and you can tell how frantic and heartbroken heidi is

ngl i don't really like the line about evan not taking his refills and how his anxiety is okay but idk 

'so, you and zoe' 'this glove's really cool wOW' lmfao

ugh, to break in a glove was so heartbreaking guys larry really cared  about connor okay?

asa's larry seems less stoic than michael's and you really see how much he likes evan and he's not afraid to show that affection

"in three hours!" evan's growl was so cute and adorable

he was like yelling and freaking out so bad over the breakup part and then he went 'thank you' in the smallest most embarrassed voice 

only us was pure and wholesome and i couldn't help but think throughout that entire song that wow zoe is amazing and i really want her as my girlfriend

also olivia puckett's voice is really smooth and gorgeous

and evan's really confident in only us which is just such a sweet thing to see 

alana was really fucking pissed at evan wow 

and jared is just flatout apathetic and unsympathetic while evan freaks out

heidi's so shy at the murphys she's adorable

"he's got his own toothbrush" my mom laughed out loud at that line lmao

larry went over to evan when he was curled up on the chair and  kinda like, nudged his shoulders and lower back to get him to sit up straight it was so funny

you can see how mortified heidi is and evan just KNOWS he's going to die once they get home

ngl heidi IS terrifying once they get home 

evan really doesn't hold back with his barbs holy shit 

good for you!! rockstar heidi!! rbj just strutted out like a fucking model!! i love her so much!!

i love this song so much the lighting was amazing and the music was like. shaking the theatre 

same thing for the ywbf reprise

it's so haunting and terrifying and you can just Sense how evan and the murphys feel everything falling apart

stephen's acting during words fail. holy shit. i thought no one could top ben platt's words fail? but i have to say stephen probably gave my favorite performance of the song ever

i've never been so emotionally shaken by a song before, i was sobbing so hard and i need to say that that scene alone was worth the entire price of the ticket. 

so big/so small was so soft and heartbreaking. evan just collapsed into heidi's arms

stephen's kinda lanky and it was really funny seeing rbj trying to half-hug/half-carry him on the couch

i didn't cry as hard during that song because i think i ran out of tears after words fail

when the scrim is pulled back and everything turns blue?? so bright? so emotional so beautiful

all those plants rising up from the ground

the ending was so satisfying oh my god i have never seen a better musical

STAGEDOOR

it was my first broadway stagedoor and we got out asap after the show ended but holy shit there were so many people

it was drizzling just a little bit so some people left before the actors came out

the most annoying thing is when there are people going in and out of the theatre and the stagedoor keeps opening and closing and you're just on an emotional rollercoaster bc you think the cast is coming out >:)

april lavalle (alex's girlfriend)  stuck her head out of the door to look around at one point! alex didn't come out tho :((

asa was the first to come out!

he was so sweet, i asked him to sign a playbill for my friend sarah and he was like 'do you want me to write her name?' and i was like 'yes!' and he drew a little heart next to it was so sweet omg

sky was the next one out and i told him he was really funny and he was like !! thank you and i almost died 

stephen was the last one to come out and sky got really excited and yelled 'this is his first stagedoor' and everyone cheered for him

he was really shy at first and didn't want to take pictures

but he and asa and sky took a selfie! i couldn't get in but i got a photo of them taking it and omg i would die for this cast that's all

when stephen signed my playbill im pretty sure i told him something along the lines about him being fantastic and i was so happy to have seen him and he smiled this cute dorky grin and said thank you and i died a little inside

down the line he agreed to take some selfies 

and then the security guard told us that that was everyone 

i was really hoping to see olivia but it's okay!! it was such an amazing incredible wonderful experience

oh and apparently my parents were waiting off to the side of the stagedoor crowd and my mom said asa waved to them as he left the theatre?!?!?!

also she saw phoenix leave

and yeah that's basically what happened

i'm still pinching myself wtf

im sorry this post was so long i have a lot to say

this is also lowkey for me to look back on next time and so i wont forget what happened

:))

pictures

[bokdeongeori]

SEVENTEEN IDEAL CUT FAN ACCOUNT 180628/29/0701

So I went to IDEAL CUT on June 28th (”The Scene” All Units), June 29th (Hiphop Team Day), and July 1st (Performance Team Day) in Korea and I want to jot down all my memories and things that stood out to me! I couldn’t go to Vocal Team’s day because I had something else I had to do that day but I wish I could’ve! ;__; I’m going to sort it by day so that I can keep my thoughts organized but honestly this is everywhere because I have so many things to say.

180628 The Scene

This was my first day and understandably I was the MOST excited because I didn’t know what to expect. I managed to get seats on the 2nd floor so it was decently close! This is how close the extended stage was! 

It was POURING outside that day, but I remember feeling how unreal it was to be queuing in line AND watching Jeonghan and Vernon’s pre-concert Vlive right outside the venue. Usually I’m watching from like 2AM in my room, so it was unreal how close they were. Soggy shoes or not, I was so happy to be there. 

The first day, the first few songs were kinda a blur because I was just in pure shock. You know it’s about to start when they play the Thanks MV in full stereo and everybody is doing the fanchant (which I still can’t do lol), but then the VCR plays and we scream every time a member comes on screen (so we screamed a lot.) The first day, everything was new so I died at EVERYTHING lmao. There were so many VCRs and the visuals were out of this world. The lighting and effects in this concert was incredible, it made everything BIGGER and BETTER and the synchronized carat bongs flashing different colors was the most beautiful sight. 

First song was OT13 Highlight, then Thanks and they did this really cool dance breakdown in Thanks that I didn’t get to record because I was dying, seriously my heart was beating so fast. It was so unreal hearing their voices and SEEING the choreo I’ve watched millions of times over through a computer screen, I’m still in shock, it’s exactly as you imagine it. Perfect synchronization and always in tune, and their stamina is amazing. DK and Seungkwan were obviously the strongest singers but everybody held their own. I remember thinking how HIGH Seungkwan, Woozi, and Joshua’s voices were in the theater in comparison to how it sounded on recording, which is interesting because their voices are already high.  

Hoshi and Woozi did Bring It and I was like......what song is this??? BUT IT WAS SO LIT and the choreo is so badass. Hoshi’s stage presence is so commanding, probably the best out of all of them, but Dino is so charming and so is Vernon, but in a swaggy chill way, you know what I mean lol.....

FLOWER, the choreo is sooooooooooo good, I DEMAND A DANCE PRACTICE VIDEO TO DO IT JUSTICE. I was just screaming my head off and trying to pay attention so I didn’t miss anything. The formations.....CHAN U RLLY DID THAT LIL BUDDY!! Later on during the ment when they told us that Dino made the choreo all by himself he was all bashful about it and they kept making fun of him, but then Coups stopped them and praised him on how hard he worked and how stressed Dino was, and Wonwoo/Coups said it must’ve been hard for Chan to teach hyungs because they don’t listen well. AHHH CHAN ;___;

Then they performed NO FUN and CHUCK, which was so cool to see live and sing along. Then they did a long ment to introduce themselves. Hoshi really knows how to rile up a crowd. He comes to the front and we all chant “wangja-nim” (prince) and he LOOOOOVES that, then he asks “what time is it?” etc. u know the drill, BUT HE’S SO FUN and interactive in concert, HE’S JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE. I love Hoshi a bit more than I already did after Ideal Cut. Jun and Wonwoo were the more quiet ones but they were always whispering secrets, Wonwoo was always whispering to members next to him. Dino did this thing where he’s like “SAY HO!” “HOOOO” “SAY ____” “____” sorry I forgot but those kinds of little things were fun. Mingyu and Seungkwan were bickering as usual, I love them. Then they performed Run to You and everybody had mic stands. I loved seeing Vernon and Minghao air guitar with each other. 

Beautiful was a lot of fun because they ran everywhere and HOSHI WAS RIGHT THERE. Then leader line did Change Up AND I DIED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE THIS SONG LIVE SO BAD. Hoshi was on that extended stage for so long we all tried to wave to him and he waved back looked at everyone, I love him. :(

Then Hiphop Team did Un Haeng Il Chi (me: died), and an unreleased song (me: died 2x) I think I blacked out like the entire second HHT song because it was new, all I heard was SKRRR SKRRR and Vernon’s MOSHI MOSHI and I was really dyinglmaodshlskhkd. Mingyu came up to the extended stage and we all Died. 

Then Vocal Team did Habit (rearranged) and Pinwheel, ugh my heart. They sounded so beautiful. This was when I noticed how high some of their voices really were. I can’t believe the first time I saw Pinwheel in full was LIVE. 

Then Performance Team did Swimming Fool, and there’s this one part where everything went in slow motion and they were doing funny/cute poses in the air, I love them so much. :(  AND JAM JAM. I GOT TO SEE JAM JAM, WITH THE8′s T-H-E-to-the-8 PART MY GOD.........and Jun doing Vernon’s rap part and the dance breakdown and the part at the end where they all do a freestyle. 

Then on to my favorite set, the cute bongbongs. I was dying of how cute they were because they all wore the Bongbong outfits exactly as Mingyu drew them on the washi washi tape they sold as merch. 

They performed Thinkin About You which was the CUTEST EVER. WONWOO WAS SO CUTE WITH HIS LIL PINK LAPTOP AND JEONGHAN WITH HIS MILK AND ANGEL WINGS AND PRINCE HOSHI AND SCOUPS WITH HIS LEADER FLAG AND EVERYONE FOLLOWING HIM LIKE LIL DUCKLINGS AND DINO MAKNAE ON TOP AND JUN WITH A CAT......GOD...... We all sang along to the “I’m thinking about you” part so much fun...

Then Mingyu, DK, and Jun did Hello, which was so cute and sweet. I think they threw their roses into the crowd, lucky carats! 

THEN, THEN..........I GOT TO SEE ROCKET WITH MY OWN EYES!!! You don’t know how badly I wanted to see Rocket, it was so much fun, the choreo was so cute and Joshua and Vernon utilized the entire stage. At the end they did a freestyle dance off, but the first day it was Vernon’s spotlight and the 2nd day it was Joshua’s. I believe they’ve would’ve switched off again but Vernon got injured by the 3rd day. :( Vernon was like “JOSHY JOSHHH!! GO JOSHY GO JOSHY GO GO WHOAAAAA” it was so much fun. 

THEN I GOT TO SEE MISS PRETTY U??? THE LEGEND?? Boo Seungkwan’s high note, that’s all. Then there was another VCR and they did the killer combo of Shining Diamond, Boom Boom (Remix), and ROCK. Mingyu was lying on the floor after they did that set lmao he was so tired. They did another ment and they ended with CLAP (remix). Then they showed a long interview video before the encore and I wish I understood more of what they were saying but basically saying how happy they were to be on stage and in SVT and how thankful they are for carats, etc. people in the crowd were sniffling. :’( 

Then the encore, they did Campfire and we held up our signs....I saw Verkwan in action and also Seokkwan because they were sitting next to each other. They did another ment to say their goodbyes and it was so cute because we were already “AWWW-ing” when it got to Hoshi and Joshua even though they hadn’t said anything yet lol. DK looked really touched but he was like....stop I’m not gonna cry, and he didn’t (At least not on the first day....)

Then they performed Healing (so many cute moments) and Very Nice, which they punk’d us by making us think it ended but it didn’t........like TWICE. And this time it worked because it was the first day. You know how everyone always uwuwuwus Woozi during Healing, well this time, Woozi went down a line and avoided them all but then he got to Wonwoo and PICKED HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS SLKdhflksdh don’t know if Woozi’s that strong or Wonwoo’s that skinny, probably both. DK always had a spotlight during Very Nice, he was so hype and funny. We all stood up for the last 2 songs and we were about to sit down after they took their bows but THEY STARTED SINGING AJU NICE AGAIN I WISHED IT WOULD NEVER END.  AHHH it was so much fun, I was so excited to go back the next day.  

180629 H Cut (Hiphop Team Day)

Alright so for Day 2, I’m gonna mostly talk about Hiphop team’s performances because the others were basically the same. Although the thing I really appreciate about SVT is that they realize there are many people who come to their concert more than once so they always change up little things in performances that you would only notice if you saw it before, it’s really the in the little details and they’re so good at that.  But I loved seeing everything again because once wasn’t enough and this time I actually had more of a bird’s eye view. Also, the things they talk about during ments change a little bit too, they always keep you entertained. Oh, and HHT’s parents/families were there too. Vernon was like during his ment, “I love you guys” :’) 

On HHT day, vocal unit still performed Pinwheel and Performance unit performed Jam Jam, but there was no Change Up. 

Hiphop team started out with with Un Haeng Il Chi and THIS TIME they went all out. There was a loooong table with backup dancers and it was so LIT, like at one point Coups got up on the table and walked down the table passing Vernon, Wonwoo, and Mingyu one at a time. I was so unprepared for what was gonna happen next, I expected like, Trauma and Check In BUT NO WE GOT FUCKISDGNDLHF SOLO STAGES. 

WONWOO. There was a female voice in his track so I didn’t know what was happening but then he appeared by himself and I was literally about to pass out. HE FINALLY GOT THE EMO RAP TRACK HE DESERVES. The song has Epik High vibes and he killed it, he really fits that style so well............I have a fancam but it’s honestly a mess bc I was dying so I can’t let u all see me like that. Oh and during the ment, they kept making fun of Wonwoo’s solo by imitating the girl’s part, (Hoshi did of course), yes I saw Soonwoo in action.

VERNON. His track so SOOOOO.....HIM. It’s has a summery chill hop vibe with Deep lyrics about finding himself YOU KNOW, VERNON STUFF, I love him. Did I mention Vernon has so much stage presence, it’s natural and it just oozes out of him. I HAVE A FANCAM OF HIM TOO. I realized they put his lyrics on the screen so I filmed that, and he mentioned that he requested they do that. Okay go off poet. 

MINGYU.......I was clutching my heart. Hiphop team went off but Mingyu, Mingyu finds his true calling. He sang his big heart out beautifully, a soft spring ballad, I was dying in my fancam of him too lmao GOD I’m so embarrassing. His song was so good, and I’m partial to ballads. In the ment they mentioned that Woozi made the song and Mingyu helped and he got scolded a lot....lol love it. At the end of the song he has this look on his face and I just......anyway...

S DOT COUPS. Oh my god, he did some magic trick where he was in a room with a glass window and someone shot the window then POOF he’s outside the room with a gun in his hand and I guess HE shot the window?? He freed himself?? Deep stuff. I think I heard Woozi’s voice in his track, but Mr. Coups went OFF and he was really h...ot, we don’t talk about it anymore. 

They they all show up again for the unrleased HHT track they performed the other day, which I got a better fancam of because I knew it was coming. The other performances were basically the same, I’m just glad I got to see them again. 

180701 P Cut (Performance Team Day, Final Day)

So again, same stuff so I’m mostly going to be talking about the solos and some ending stuff because this was the last day. It was so bittersweet. Honestly I was thisclose to crying because what kind of devil plans these events. 

I didn’t get any fancams of this day because I just wanted to enjoy it. Also, this was Vernon’s second day of having to sit in performances because of his ankle. I was so sad for him, so I screamed so loud for him every time he appeared. But the members were so sweet to him, like there was always someone there to keep him company when he had to sit on the main stage while everyone was running around. Like Coups or DK or Wonwoo, I love a family. :’(    

SO...DINO’S SOLO STAGE. DINO IS SOOOOOO CHARISMATIC, SO TINY BUT STAGE PRESENCE SO HUGE, AND HE’S THE BEST DANCER!!! LIKE THAT’S MY SON UP THERE!! Before the song began, he had his jacket hung up and he changed into a different jacket and we all screamed, then he danced his butt off to some autotuned EDM bop and of course paid tribute to MJ at the end. I was just screaming so loud, Chan makes me so proud, I rlly raised him. 

Then The8 performed his mixtape but in Korean, and his stage was sooooooo beautiful and relaxing. I’m glad he found his style because he really shined. He was sitting on swing and the backdrop was a crescent moon so it looked like he was sitting on the moon and the lyrics were to the right of the screen in the stars, gosh it was so beautiful. 

Then Jun performed a pop rock song in a sheer shirt which i didn’t even realize because I was so far away but you could definitely see.....everything...lmao. ANYWAY I’m so glad Jun found confidence on stage when he’s with carats because he ROCKED IT OUT THERE AND THE VOCALS WERE GOOD. #morelines4junnie

Then Hoshi, oh my god Hoshi. He really brought it all out with the sensual stuff, like he went full Taemin on us. He came to the middle stage and the lights came down staggered and he started dancing like “you. can. touch” the stadium went wild. The DANCE was really like.......sensual?? but like not overtly sexy like um...WHO, but really sensual and reminded me a lot of Taemin’s Move. Not like a copy, but like, inspired by it. And he had female backup dancers oh ho ho Mr. Hoshi. AND THE DANCE BREAKDOWN, there was a part when he bent backwards at the knee but he kept going down step by step, it was so cool, I was screaming my head off. 

The rest was basically the same with an added aju nice, but Hoshi kept HINTING that we had to stay until the end, ok we see you. Oh, and on the last day, DINO, DK, AND JUN CRIED. My heart really couldn’t take it. SEEING DK IN TEARS GETS ME EVERY TIME, JUN TEARING UP AFTER SAYING HE FEELS SECURE IF MEMBERS AND CARATS ARE WITH HIM, AND DINO ALWAYS BEING STRONG BUT FINALLY BREAKING DOWN AFTER MEMBERS SAID HE DID WELL.............i’m crying right now.  

God I love them so much, you could really feel the sincerity, like they LOVE IT on stage and they love performing at concerts so much, and they say we make them so happy but do they know they make us so happy ;__________; 

And they played the teaser you all saw on youtube at the end of the concert after they exited the stage. All in all, I lived my best carat life and I have no regrets and my love for them grew infinitely, which I didn’t even know was possible. The only thing is that I have terrible post-concert depression after 3 days and I miss them so much now. Like I woke the the morning after the last concert and saw Hoshi on Vlive chat and...........

 .....tears. See why is he so happy? Anyway thanks for reading my long fan account if u made it to the end, amazing. I hope I see them again someday and I can’t wait for the comeback!!!! 

[kneeuh-nia]

BTS Love Yourself Tour LA Day 2

 ~basically my experience at the concert before i forget everything cause im lowkey already forgetting parts of it~

~I love all of them but my bias is Jimin & my bias wrecker is Jin~

i actually wasnt planning on going to the concert but my cousin somehow managed to get a second pair of tickets even tho she already went on Day 1. Anyways my uncle asks if i want to go with her to the thursday show & I immediately say yes. So i basically only have 2 days to mentally prepare myself to see them after stanning them for like 4 years

Thursday comes, I go pick up my cousin & we get to staples around 5PM & theres so many people w/ BTS/BT21 merch. I meet up w/ my friend & the other person she went to the concert with & we chill around for a bit. I didnt have an ARMY Bomb but the other 3 did so i kept debating on getting it or not & i somehow i reasoned myself to get one.

Around 5:30 they start letting people into the venue but we’re confused on where to go & as soon as we get in I get separated from my friend but it didnt matter cause we had different seats anyways. Instead of waiting in the merch line outside I bought my lightstick from the store inside Staples where there was just a wall full of them & no line so that gave me no time to convince myself I didn’t need one. (But now im hella broke （πーπ）but having one made the concert so much better)

We go buy some snacks & head to our seats. I was so shook when I found out before the concert that we had P1 seats in row 1 but when we were actually there I was even more shook cause it was basically on the left side of the main stage in the area right after the people on the floor. By then we had 2 hours left before the concert started but they kept playing their mvs from War of Hormone era until Fake Love era on the screens (I wish that they played their mvs from before WoH & from rap line’s mix tapes). Even tho the same vids kept replaying throughout those 2 hours everyone kept screaming/singing & doing the fanchants. With only 30 min left before it started my cousin wanted McDonalds so i rushed out to get some & ate basically in 10 min. Then the concert started.

Basically throughout the concert I kept debating on whether I wanted to take good pictures, good videos, or just pay attention so i did a mixture of all 3. (Kinda wish that i only took vids & gave up on taking pics cause they weren’t that good & I was too focused on pics to give them all of my attention). So basically it started w/ a VCR of all the members & then fireworks went off & they walked out w/ outfits that made them look like princes & they started doing IDOL & it was so amazing w/ everyone cheering especially when the backup dancers came out for the last chorus part.

After they did IDOL they did their individual introductions & all of them were hyped & excited & cute & unreal & just ugghhhhh. I dont remember the order they went in & what they specifically said but i’ll just go through each members intro. I dont remember what RM said specifically but he had some of the loudest screams of the night & that continued throughout the entire concert. JHope did his “I’m your Hope!!!!! I’m your angel!!!!!! I’M......” & everyone responded w/ JHOPE!!!! & i think he said something along the lines of being excited to be back in LA but i think besides RM he spoke the most English during his time to talk. Suga did his dramatic standing  there for a bit & took out his ear piece to hear ARMY scream for him & then did his intro. Jin did his flying kiss again for his intro!!! (I was kind of hoping he would have a little heart event thing like he did last tour where he took out random hearts) Jungkook’s mic wasn’t working so RM lent him his mic to introduce himself & he said “it’s been awhile” which has basically been going everywhere. I don’t remember what Jimin & V did or said but they were so beautiful IRL. & since Jimin is my bias i just kept thinking he looks so good w/ his ashy brown/blonde hair & contacts. While doing their introductions Jungkook kept trying to fix his mic & eventually had to go backstage to fix & when he came back all of them were like “Are you ready Jungkook?”

Then they did Save Me & I’m Fine. Watching them do this stage on like MCountdown or any of the music shows doesn’t give these songs & choreo justice & the transition between Save Me to I’m Fine was so smooth. Everyone did the fanchants w/ all their names & everything for Save Me. I was so excited to hear I’m Fine cause it was one of my fav songs off Answer cause of Yoongi’s rap & he went in on his part & it just made my life complete hearing his rapping live. They performed Magic Shop next & that was more fan interaction. They mostly stayed on the main stage & a little bit on the runway towards the extended stage. V & Jungkook I think kept looking towards our section/area & all of them kept waving their hands towards the upper levels. & everyone responded w/ “I’ll show you” when it was the “so show me” part. & Jimin’s vocals during his high note was sooooo goood

JHope’s & Jungkook’s VCR played next as they went backstage so I was getting hyped for the all the solo stages that were gonna be happening. JHope’s solo was first & just his dancing was amazing & it just looked like he was having a good time & he kept jumping around & throwing hearts but also dancing at the same time & he was just fluid while doing everything while singing & rapping his song. Euphoria was next & of course cause it’s the golden maknae so his stage was amazing. (I was tempted to do the ‘annyeonghaseyo joneun bangtan sonyeondan hwanggeum maknae jeon jungkook imnida’ meme thing that Byron started but i was way too focused on his stage + plus i would mess it up anyways) His stage really was Euphoria for me

They all came out w/ white outfits for their I Need U + Run stage. They actually didnt do the choreo for either song. I Need U was more on the main stage & as it was ending they went towards the extended stage where they did Run. Run was so hyped & they kept jumping & spinning around the ‘Run, Run, Run’ & they kept doing fanservice towards the pit area. I really wish that i recorded during this but i just ended up taking a bunch of pics. They just seemed really happy during this part & they kept smiling & everyone was extra loud during the English parts

Then it was RM’s & Jimin’s VCR & solo stage time. Jimin was so cute during the VCR & he came out & did Serendipity (the FULL VERSION) & I lost my shit for my boy. I knew he’s a good performer but seeing his dancing & singing just made it more real. He’s so fluid while dancing & his voice is amazing & just the amount of people that were singing his song made me so proud of him. His stage also had bubbles instead of confetti like some of the other members & it just made his stage more ethereal. He also had a part in the choreo that involved the floor & everyone lost their shit when that happened. RM came out w/ this long blue jacket that he lowkey kept making it come off one his shoulders at the start of his stage like Jimin’s “accident” during BST. But again everyone was hyped & we all did the “saram, saram, saram & I live so I love” His rapping was great & then his singing part came & we just lost it...but then we lost it again when the rest of the members came to join him for the last part of the song

Then it was time for DNA & then their medley of other songs. During DNA the fanchants were on point & Jimin kept throwing hearts around when it was his part & Jin did another flying kiss. They did a diff medley from Day 1 & this was their more lit medley w/ Attack on Bangtan, Boyz with Fun, & Baepsae, & Dope, which just made them more hyped & let them more fun on stage. Honestly they’re was so much going on it was hard to focus on everything but there are so many memorable parts. Like at the end of Attack on Bangtan they were all fanning Jungkook. Jungkook was doing the shoot dance on the runway towards the extended stage. Hobi was lit the entire time & there was time where he just kept dancing towards our section. Namjoon was also feeling himself during one of the songs & kept dancing. They were all just rude during Baepsae I can’t. & Jimin did another heart at the end of Dope

After that they did Airplane pt.2 & i live for the choreo w/ the mics. I loved the mariachi part + just when they kept naming all the different cities. & then it was V’s turn for his solo & he had the VCR to himself & he did the choreo w/ the coat & masks & his deep voice got me. They performed Fake Love & Jimin had an “accident” w/ his shirt & Jungkook was rude w/ his shirt lifting part & the fanchants were sooooooo goooooddddd again.

The last solo stages were Suga’s & Jin’s. Suga’s song is my fav out of the Trivias & he just started his stage by lying on a couch but then he got up & did his choreo & ooooohhhhhhh boooooyyyyy HIS RAPPING & SINGING OOOHHH GODDDDDD how can people say no one cheered for his stage the first day. Before Epiphany even started everyone was chanting KIM SEOKJIN & the stage opened up to him playing the piano. Just his vocals & high notes were on point that night. How dare BigHit deprive this man of the lines he deserves. There was a part were he was walking up the stairs to an elevated stage & everyone started chanting KIM SEOKJIN as he walked up them. & then he finished out his song w/ those high notes. Honestly Jin’s solo stage might have been my fav solo stage

The rest of vocal line came out & performed The Truth Untold. This was probably my favorite stage of the whole concert cause everyone was singing the entire song. Their vocals & harmonies were unreal & they were on this raised platform where at the end petals fell down on them & made them look ethereal. Rap lines turn was next & they performed Tear. Lowkey I didn’t know the lyrics to this song that much but I was still hyped. Then they announced their last song was Mic Drop & again it was lit again especially w/ that dance break.

Their ending VCR was played & everyone kept chanting BTS as we waited for their encore stage. We had ARMY Time & took out the slogan banners that said “if we’re with BTS, even an endless maze is paradise” They came out w/ ARMY Bombs & V had these huge glasses that I didnt expect for him to have & sang So What & Anpanman & they went crazy on stage again & at the end of So What they messed w/ Jimin’s hair & V kept patting his butt/side where his Army Bomb was. Anpanman = lit & fun. Jungkook was extra & did the thing where he laid down on the floor & didnt use his hands to get up

They had their final ment. They were talking about the banners we held out for them & leaned hella close towards the pit & Jin gave a thumbs up to the crowd when he read what it said. They kept saying ARMY was the best & we are their superheros. Again, I think Hobi spoke the most English during his time to talk & he had this little bag w/ his sticker on it & he asked if we wanted it & everyone yelled out YES!!! LOL & he said he was so happy for being there & for having 2 more shows. When it was Jimin’s turn he kept doing random poses when he saw he was on the screen & he thanked us for making their album #1 on Billboard & he did more hearts. Jungkook had this cute head bobbing thing as he listened to us scream & just thanked us again. Jin & his kiss thing AGAIN. He also had 4 mini ARMY Bomb rings on his hand that he was showing off & then Suga stuck his hand near Jin’s face to show off his Suga rings that he’s so proud of. Jin is as much a fan of ARMYs as we are of him. V talked slowly so that he could pronounce everything he wanted to say right & wished everyone to have sweet dreams. Suga looked so happy just looking at the crowd. He talked about a LA Dodgers player LOL & just said thank you. RM had the loudest screams during his final ment & he was flustered with the response. & the boys kept hyping him up & Jimin & V messed w/ his face & he had to quiet us down so he could say what he wanted. He talked about back in 2014 when V, Jungkook, & Jimin were handing out invitations to random people on the street to come to their show & KCON at Staples when they were only guests but now they’re here for their own show for 4 days cause of ARMY. Then they had their actual final song Answer: Love Myself & they kept waving their ARMY Bombs around so we could follow them. Then they each walked back towards the main stage & took their final bow. 

This was soooo long. I didn’t expect to go the concert at all & gave up on trying to go months ago. But I guess I’m hella lucky. This just made me love them so much more & I wish I could go to another concert day or just another concert in general. I feel like I didn’t spend that much attention on Suga & Jungkook & I REGRET IT SO MUCH BUT I LOVE ALL OF THEM BTS I LOVE YOU 💜

[westywrites]

I’m Sorry

This is why I should never make promises... I know I said I would have the next part of Soulmates to go out yesterday, but obviously that didn’t happen. I was invited very last minute to be part of the ensemble for Mamma Mia in the theatre festival and between my play and hurriedly learning the blocking/choreo for that (as the festival opens tonight) I have been in theatre for more than three hours everyday since Monday. Not much time to write. 

As an apology I have decided to post the entire first chapter of my WIP, “Story with Gods”

Next

The floor was cold and hard against her back, made of metal that had been painted dark just like the walls. The room itself was bright, lit by rows of white fluorescents that stung her eyes. She laid still while making these assessments and tried to move only her eyes. There was another person on either side of her, to her left was a girl about her age but a fair bit taller, to her right was a large man who grunted slightly with each breath he took. Her mind had been spinning tirelessly for hours but she still couldn't think of where she could be or why she would be there. She had been on her way to work, a part-time job she hated, before she suddenly woke up in that small cold room full of people. She didn't dare move or speak, filled with fear and thoughts of the B-rated horror movies she loved so much. No one else seemed to be awake. Whenever the man beside her stirred she would pretend to sleep. To her it seemed like an eternity had passed before anything happened.

"It is currently 7 am. Those of you who are awake may come and retrieve your breakfast,” a man's voice said from the small speaker in the corner. "Please be sure to take only your portion and not to share with others." At this announcement a couple of others got up, a university-aged boy and a middle-aged woman in a beige blazer and pencil skirt. They moved quietly to one wall. The girl was hungry and surrendered to the smell of toast. She stood slowly and joined the woman and boy at a small counter with a row of containers on it. Without saying a word, each took a container and retreated to a corner to eat. The breakfast consisted solely of a soggy piece of toast and a small bottle of water. The girl sighed and ate slowly, as she ate she examined the room. With only bare metal walls, one large door, a bathroom and the food slot there wasn’t much to see. The people, however, were much more interesting. There were eight in total, all different in just about every way. However hard the girl searched she couldn't find anything they had in common. Slowly each person got up to eat and sat themselves around the walls of the room. They all moved in silent slow motion, their faces blank with shock or filled with confusion.

"Listen here," said a large black man in a tight shirt, "if we're going to be stuck here together we need to know a bit about each other." He waved his toast around as he spoke and the girl had a feeling that he was just talking to keep himself from having a breakdown. "I'm Isaiah, I'm a volunteer firefighter in Belleville and a father of three young girls." He turned to the lady beside him.

"I'm Jen, I work as an administrator for a company in Toronto." She looked like she was in her mid-twenties and wore very modest clothes. Her eyes were wide and her voice was barely a whisper.

"This is stupid." The university-aged boy complained, his foot tapped rapidly against the ground as his eyes darted around analyzing his surroundings. "I'm Quentin, I'm an engineering student at McMaster." From there each person introduced themselves in much the same fashion. The man who had been next to the girl was Phil, an electrician; the woman in the beige blazer was a paralegal named Karen, and the scrawny man who had sat down all too close to the girl would only say that his name was Anthony. The girl shifted slightly away from him and flashed what she hoped was a warm smile at the others.

"I'm Sophia," she said, "I'm 16 and I'll be a grade 12 student come fall." She winced at the waver in her voice and felt her smile grow awkward.

"Oh good, I thought I was way younger than everyone." The other girl sighed in relief. "I'm Olivia, just turned 17 and also going into grade 12." She pulled her dark hair away from her face and shot a sideways glance at Sophia. Her green eyes stood out against her brown skin and Sophia saw something deeper than just the pain of the current situation within them.  

"Well, that was very helpful." Quentin the engineering student rolled his eyes. "What now?"

"Now we find a way out." Isaiah the firefighter responded, cracking his knuckles and forcing a deep breath. Everyone, with the exception of Quentin, anxiously scoured every inch of the room and the small adjoining bathroom. The only openings were the long, thin slit where the food had come in, a tiny vent in the bathroom, and the large door with no handle. As the largest men, Isaiah and Phil the electrician took turns trying to ram it down. Seeing as the door was made of the same metal as the floor, no one was surprised when nothing came of this. Hours had passed before everyone gave up and began to sit in quiet conversation or pace around the room.

"So what courses are you taking next semester?" The girl, Sophia, asked needing to talk about something and not coming up with a better topic.

"Math, French, drama, and a spare." Olivia shrugged, her voice had a practiced lack of emotion. "I'm excited to have a spare last class though, hopefully I'll get to go home and work in my grandfather’s greenhouse."

"I don't have any spares." Sophia smirked, talking about school in that room just seemed absurd, but at least it was better than dwelling on the present. "I'm kind of an overachiever, but I mean all my courses are fun so it'll be great. I’ve got law and English and world cultures and classical civilizations. I've got all the boring stuff second semester." She could tell by the look on Olivia's face that those courses didn't seem fun to her. "Yea I know I'm a huge geek. I literally want to become a history and law teacher, though I'm also thinking about being a university professor."

"I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life." Olivia sighed. "My parents want me to marry the rich and successful son of one of their friends back in India and honestly I may just go with it."

"C'mon there's gotta be something you're passionate about, you can make a career out of anything if you care enough. You said your granddad has a greenhouse?" Sophia then spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out Olivia's life for her.

Come lunchtime everyone was getting restless. Leaving eight strangers trapped in a small room isn't a very good idea, and there had already been a number of small arguments. That all was nothing compared to the fight that happened when lunch showed up. At 1:30, according to the announcement, a single plastic container slid through the slot. It had a small note attached saying it was meant for Quentin and only Quentin. He opened it slowly and as far away from himself as possible, fearing that it may be a trap of some kind. Inside was half of a sandwich and a water bottle. At that moment the announcement came on again and explained that since everyone else had tried to escape only Quentin got lunch. If he shared any of it with anyone, no one would get supper. This news, understandably, caused outrage.

"You vile little creature." Isaiah hissed at Quentin. "You knew this would happen."

"You better give us each some of that sandwich," Karen, the paralegal, demanded.

"No way. You heard the announcement." Quentin held the container tightly against his chest. "If I share we all won't get to eat, besides there's not enough for all eight of us."

"Then give some to the girls,” Phil suggested gesturing at Sophia and Olivia. "They're small and young, they need to eat." Both of the girls made a face to disagree with Phil.

"It's my sandwich I earned it." Quentin backed into the corner. Isaiah cursed at him and Phil took a menacing step forward. The three of them yelled back and forth for some time as everyone else watched in silence.

"Maybe if you can't share the sandwich you just shouldn't eat it," Jen, the administrator, interrupted in a small voice.

"That wouldn't make any sense. Then we'd all just be hungry." Quentin whined at her.

Suddenly Anthony swatted the container out of his hand and the sandwich fell out onto the floor. "Only fair," Anthony said as he squished the sandwich with his foot. That effectively ended the argument and everyone sat in agitated silence, except for a few hushed conversations, until the announcer spoke again.

"It is now 6:30, please retrieve the containers from the counter." The announcer held no emotion in his nasal voice. Eight containers slid out and Isaiah looked triumphantly at Quentin. The containers were handed around and opened in anticipation. Inside each container was a water bottle, only half full, and a note with one word on it. Once they figured out the order the words formed a simple sentence. "If you really want everyone not to eat..." The announcer read out the message as soon as they had put it together. "Then don't follow the rules. It's quite simple, listen and you eat but don't listen and you don't eat." Olivia and Sophia looked at each other, Olivia didn’t even try to hide the fear on her face this time.

Karen, Isaiah, and Phil all took their turns cursing out the announcer before everyone fell into a tense silence again. That night everyone slept in groups to try and stay warm against the cold metal floor. The next day was similar to the first but they received some food three times that day. The day after was the same, and the days after that. They all struggled to understand their situation, fighting often, and crying even more. They told stories and sung songs to pass the time. However, as time passed their fear only grew, each day the portions of food seemed smaller and they all were hungry all the time. This went on for nearly two weeks before Isaiah decided he couldn't take it anymore.

"You listen here!" He yelled at the announcer. "You're starving us, we need food and you aren't giving us enough. There are children in here. I have children at home." He gestured around the room. "I know you've got a camera somewhere to watch us and I beg you. There's better entertainment elsewhere, just let us go." Isaiah knew there wasn't really any point in his protests but he just couldn't sit back anymore.

"Hey, it's alright." Sophia placed a hand on his arm. "If he wanted to kill us he would've already. We can get out of here eventually." She led Isaiah to sit in the corner. Sophia had a natural ability to talk people down from high emotions and she had found herself using that a lot during those past two weeks. She wanted to help more but there wasn’t much she could do, or anyone could do. That night at supper a portion didn't show up for Isaiah and he sat trying to hide the tears in his eyes while the others ate.

"I can't stand this," Sophia whispered to Olivia. "Us all eating while he watches. I know it's against the rules but I just can't do this."

"Wait, what are you planning?" Olivia grabbed Sophia's arm, her nails digging in. "Don't you dare screw yourself over, you need the food more than he does." Sophia had already been incredibly thin when they got there and at this point she looked sickly. Sophia debated convincing Olivia to let her, she knew she could, but she knew she had a point and surrendered. She ate her supper in silence, all the while looking forlornly at Isaiah.

Another week passed in much the same fashion and they continued to get increasingly small portions of food. There were arguments regularly but everyone stayed far away from any territory that could get their food taken away. They were all exhausted, filthy, and miserable but Sophia was determined to maintain her optimism. She forcibly kept her hope that they would get out soon and she would try to get others to tell stories or sing songs with her like they had before. Outwardly the others were annoyed by this but Sophia knew they needed it. Her determination grew even stronger when Quentin got sick. It started one morning when he wouldn't wake up for breakfast. He was pale and running a fever. Sophia sat by him and took care of him, forcing him to eat what food he was given and drink water whenever they had it.

"How's he doing, Soph?" Olivia asked her at supper. As the weeks had passed Olivia had softened to her, at this point they had told each other everything. Some unspoken bond seemed to draw them together.

"No improvement, but he's not any worse so that's good." Sophia stroked his hair repetitively. She bit her lip as she looked at how dry his lips were.

"It's really kind of you to do that," Jen said, kneeling beside them. “Wish I could be like that.”

"I just wish I could do more." Sophia shrugged. She sat with Quentin throughout the night, gently singing and talking to him while everyone else slept. In the morning they found her asleep against the wall with his head in her lap. Everyone made sure not to wake her. When the announcement came on for breakfast she opened her eyes groggily and looked down at Quentin. His breaths were shallow but his fever was down from the night before. Olivia brought breakfast for the three of them. Each container had only a small piece of toast, less than a quarter of a slice, and a nearly empty water bottle. Sophia bit at her own lip again and ran a gentle finger along Quentin's bottom lip. His lips were so dry and cracked. She made a decision then and she was the kind of person who, once they made a decision, no one could stop.

[some-weird-kpop-girl]

KPop Update!!!

Finally... I really suck at social media guys

But I’m gonna make up for it because I’ve been working on a lit fanfic. I have the first three chapters done and I’m so excited to post some!!!

I’ve gotten into six more groups since the last update, so let’s get started.

Stray Kids/3Racha

Bias: Jisung (I don’t even know what to say about this kid except that his “sexy dances” *cough like the one with Minho cough* make me die of second-hand embarrassment but for some reason I still love him)

Bias Wrecker: Changbin (Grr... that’s all I have to say)

Favorite Song(s): Ok, so like, I really love My Pace so much. Like not only does it sound cool, but the lyrics are also super meaningful? I love it. But I also really love M.I.A., Insomnia, and STOP. Also, since I’m kind of mashing Stray Kids and 3Racha together, I just want to add that I love Wow with my whole soul even if it’s the epitome of meme content.

Notes: Ok, so like, I’ve lowkey been procrastinating writing this because I had just started to really, really like Stray Kids... and then Woojin left... I mean, I want the best for him and I hope he’s okay and happy... It just sucks and now I’m crying

(picture of Woojin because he deserves it)

ATEEZ

Bias: Yunho (tol baby and I love him. Also his opening line in Pirate King is akdofawretaodkjf)

Bias Wrecker: Hongjoong (ok, like the man paints his nails to stand up against child abuse and I’m not saying that I love him totally and fully because of it but I am saying that I love him totally and fully because of it)

Favorite Song(s): All of them. Seriously. I can’t even choose two favorites from each album.

Notes: Ok, so like the first time I ever heard ATEEZ was shortly after Pirate King was released and I was like “meh, not my type” like I honestly didn’t really like them at the time and I don’t know what was wrong with my ears back then because their music is literally the only thing I live for and they have already become one of my favorite groups. Their albums and choreos are lit as heck and can we just talk about Promise? How many songs can you start with the same tune and still make each one of them different and amazing ok I’m going to stop now

(cute tol baby)

Monsta X

Bias: I.M. (His raps are my life)

Bias Wrecker: Well, now it’s Minhyuck but... we’ll get to this later

Favorite Song(s): Jealousy is my jam... heh heh alliteration... sort of

Notes: Ok, so, um... I got into Monsta X after Wonho left... which really sucks because after watching all their videos and stuff he has become my bias wrecker but like... he’s not in the group anymore, so I guess Minhyuck is my bias wrecker now... unless we storm Starship Entertainment and bring Wonho back... just sayin

(also a picture of Wonho because he also deserves it)

3YE

Bias: Haeun

Bias Wrecker: Yuji

Favorite Song(s): OOMM (I danced to it for a scholarship audition)

Notes: Not many, they’re just so talented and pretty and I love their music

(she’s so pretty what the heck)

EXO (and all their sub-units)

Bias: Baekhyun (this boy is my life, but also the death of me. I love his voice soooooo much. Also, can we please give him more rap lines?)

Bias Wrecker: Chanyeol (I have a weakness for tall bois)

Favorite Song(s): Tempo is my favorite, but Ko Ko Bop, Call Me Baby, and Love Me Right are very close to tieing

Notes: So, I never thought I’d get into Exo, simply because I felt like it was too late. Like, I thought they’d been a group for too long and there was like a certain time period where you have to start stanning a group or else you were too far behind? I don’t know. It was weird. But, anyways, now I have and I’m so so so happy. Their music is amazing (I already had like, every title song downloaded prior to stanning them) and they’re funny as heck

(an ethereal god I love him with my whole heart)

Super M

Bias: Baekyun

Bias Wrecker: Mark LEE (sorry. Inside joke)

Favorite Song(s): I really, really, really like Super Car but I’m highkey salty that Mark’s teaser rap wasn’t in it... that stuff was lit!

Notes: Super M (specifically Baekyun) is what got me into Exo. Also, I have mixed feelings about Baekhyun being the leader despite the fact that he’s my bias. Like, I don’t care what y’all say but he is the definition of chaotic evil. He’s already told the members that he will use his power as leader to take the best stuff (although I lowkey think he was just teasing). Anyways, we’re in for an interesting ride (or “a long-ass ride” lol)

(these teaser photos were the death of me)

HINAPIA

Bias: Yaebin

Bias Wrecker: Eunwoo

Favorite Song(s): Drip

Notes: I love the choreo to Drip so much. Especially Gyeongwon’s last line. You know, the part where they’re marching? Yeah, that part.

(a gorgeous girl)

Ok, that’s all for now folks! Stay posted for fanfics! Woot woot!

Bye!!!

안녕!!!

[restlessmaknae]

Step by step [pt.2]

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Genre: fluff, comedy, romcom, haters to lovers

Main Characters: Park Chanyeol; Kang Yushin (OC); Kwon Soonyoung; Byun Baekhyun; Kim Jongdae; Do Kyungsoo

Setting: college AU; art college AU; dance class AU; college band AU

„We take a dance class together and our next routine calls for partnership, and we got put togeth−STop standing on my foot!” AU

A day later, I found myself in the university’s practice room with a sly Soonyoung and a never-been-clumsier Chanyeol.

Actually, let me tell you that this class was for amateurs only. If it hadn’t been for Soonyoung’s internship, he wouldn’t have to teach classes for people who were – to be honest – quite analphabetic when it came to dancing. Not to mention that if it weren’t for my best friend and for the extra credits, I wouldn’t have joined his class, let alone let him tease me with my non-existent dance skills, no matter how much I enjoyed it. Dancing wasn’t my field, I just loved doing it from time to time but I guess we were all there for such reasons. We were all art students but keen on expressing ourselves in a different way. For example, Jungkook was at the Fine Arts departure as a photographer prodigy, Soonyoung was – if it wasn’t obvious enough – at the Dance departure as a soon-to-be choreographer and I… well, I was just an ordinary student majoring in Critical Writing in Art and Design. According to my best friend, even the name of my major tells a lot about me. Well, decide it for yourself.

You can easily see that we weren’t professionals, therefore I didn’t even expect Chanyeol to be any different. He was talented in singing and writing lyrics but he wasn’t particularly good at dance. What now? The thing was that he wasn’t just bad, he was literally the worst amateur that I had ever met. I know we had exactly 2 classes together so far but that 3 hours that I had to spend with him – as his partner! – were the definition of Hell. The epitome of wasted time.

Small wonder why I continued on my rampage when after another terrific dance class with my absolutely “flawless” dance partner, I heard Soonyoung’s plan – or to be precise, it was more of a demand coated with sweet, friendly words.

“Guys, you’ve been doing great since I put you in pairs, so now, I want you to do something without my guidance,” he announced energetically and some guys even hollered in joy while others clapped enthusiastically. On the other hand, Chanyeol became like a living statue beside me, his features firm and his smile replaced with a worried flinch.

“I want you to find yourselves a choreography that you think would fit both of your personalities – or even better, you can come up with a choreo on your own – and show it to us,” he not-so-obviously winked at me while I glared at him like I wanted to eat him alive. “I know you are probably busy, so you can perform your dance anytime until the end of the semester. Of course, I want you to challenge yourself, so you can also dance with chairs or blind-folded, you can dress up as your favourite kpop member. Whatever. Just work together and enjoy yourselves!”

A wave of undeniable bafflement and ecstatic euphoria filled the room, leaving students bouncing up and down like two-year-old kids, flinging their arms in the air in disbelief or standing in bewilderment with their mouth agape. Needless to say but I was the member of the last group.

“What?” Chanyeol snickered, apparently unable to process what he had just heard and I soon joined in, too.

“What?” I exclaimed frantically, my voice higher than usual. I was seriously struggling to keep my rage at bay because I didn’t want to look offended or anything but… I was undeniably offended! How could that Soonyoung guy come up with such a gruesome idea? How could he think that we would be able to learn choreographies without his guidance? How could he do this to us? To his best friend?

“If you have any questions, you know where to find me. But for now, let’s call it a day! See you next Monday!” he waved to us with his trademark grin and made an attempt to scamper away. Of course, I couldn’t let him run away without being scolded.

“What were you thinking, Kwon Soonyoung?” I spat fervently but all the rage that I had accumulated lately decided to come to surface right then and there. The blonde guy’s tiny eyes widened in shock, probably more because of my way to express my anger, rather than my accusing tone. He knew just as well as I did that I only called him by his full name when I was pissed off. When I was really, really mad. Utterly mad.

“I was thinking that you would see it as an opportunity to finally get to know your partner a little bit better.”

“Why on Earth I would want to know him better?” I cried out in annoyance and flailed my arms around wildly. From the corner of my eyes, I saw as Chanyeol flinched but I couldn’t care less. Not when my life was falling apart thanks to the on-going divorce of my parents and the significant decrease in my grades. I had far worse things to deal with, so I didn’t need anything else to make me lose my mind.

“Yushin…” he let out a tired sigh and looked at me dearly. It was that kind of best friend look that you get before the huge life lesson comes. “Dance is about so much more than just moves after moves and beats after beats. It’s about exploring the deepest parts of your soul. Without exploring it, you can’t express your feelings, let it be joy, hatred or disappointment. The same goes when you dance with someone else. If you don’t know them, you can’t work with them,” he pronounced with the utmost care and his wide words cut into my soul a bit.

Honestly, I couldn’t agree more with what he had said. Dance was a way of expressing our feelings just like any other forms of art. For me, writing was the one which turned out to be the most accurate way to voice out my opinion but dance was also another compass of my emotions. Not until Soonyoung actually made me remember why I had initially enjoyed dance so much, did I actually realise why I found it so hard to indulge in it lately. Because I was afraid of my own feelings. I was terrified to present them to others. I didn’t want anyone to know about them since I always tried to prove that I was so strong and invincible. Yet, I wasn’t. I was a fragile human being and I wanted someone to figure that out. Just that someone still hadn’t come and I was trapped in an ice castle built up by my own worries.

“I know,” I whispered with wavering lips and immersed into toying with my fingers. I had already told him what was going on with my parents because he noticed my mood swings and rebellious behaviour but he couldn’t help me. He was there as a shoulder to lean on but I also had to learn how to overcome hardships on my own.

“I know you are going through a really hard time but that’s exactly why I think that Chanyeol and his usual optimism would do good to you,” Soonyoung added gently, letting the words sink in. Due to the fact that I was looking down at my own hands rather than his mesmerizing orbs and I got caught up in my worrisome thoughts, I didn’t even notice when he bid his goodbye and left the practice room. That meant that I was left alone. Or not really…

Luckily, there was no soul in sight, except Park Chanyeol. I wouldn’t want anyone else to hear the conversation that I had with my best friend. Not like they would know what kind of hardships I had to face lately but still, I needed a little more privacy in my life. It’s so upsetting that Soonyoung had to choose this period of my life to come up with the idea of having a group project. Dance should be a fun free-time activity but now… it seemed like it would turn into an irritating burden.

“So, I guess it means that we have to work together even more…” Chanyeol started vaguely and glanced around instead of looking into my eyes. I couldn’t really detect what was going on with him because he was uncharacteristically shy but hey, maybe he had a rough day! Or, worse than the fact that the happy virus Chanyeol had his first bad day during the semester was that he had heard something from our little chat with Soonyoung and he didn’t know how to act in order to avoid being too obvious. I seriously hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“Yep,” I nodded in agreement.

“So, I guess it also means that we have to see each other more often.”

“That’s right,” I bobbed my head again because I had no idea what else to do. I tried my best to keep my deadly serious face on but it was so hard when Chanyeol’s eyes suddenly lit up at the thought of us spending more time together. His Oreo-like eyes were immediately filled with blossoming joy and overflowing excitement, he became radiant in an instant. He glowed like a shooting star hovering on the pitch-black sky.

“Wow, I’m so happy! I can finally learn something from you!” he beamed excitedly while I directed a suspicious glare at him. He caught sight of the doubt written all over my face, so he made an attempt to clarify himself. “I mean, as far as I could see, you are probably the most passionate and most talented dancer in our team, so I’m sure you could teach me a thing or two. I know I have a lot to learn, so you would be an excellent teacher for me,” he giggled a bit at this part and I just stood there, cursing the whole universe (and especially my beloved best friend) for putting us in a pair. I predicted a serious outburst in the near future. There was no way that I could be with him without shouting his head off.

“Please take good care of me!” he bowed as a sign of respect but I didn’t know what it was for. I didn’t do anything to earn such a behaviour from him. I was seriously taken aback. My deadpan expression must have not leave an impact on him since he acted just like his usual self. Weird. Really weird. This guy could never get angry?

After pondering for a thought, I cleared my throat in an attempt to get his attention.

“How about we meet on Friday and watch some choreographies together, so that we can decide what we will choose?” I suggested with a mediocre friendly smile and his reaction couldn’t have been better. The guy clapped his hands and I swear he could have won the award for the widest grin ever. There was no other like him and his trademark grin.

“Amazing! I can’t wait to see you! I’ll be sure to check out some choreographies, even before our encounter, so that I can be prepared for Friday,” he promised gleefully and fished a post-it note out of his pocket. He looked at it for a mere second and then, he reached his hand out and motioned me to get it. “Here’s my number if you want to decide on the time and location. I’m usually available, so look at your schedule and call, okay?” he glanced at me and sputtered so rapidly that he had to catch his breath at the end. I assumed that he finally shut up for a minute and I had the chance to say anything but no, he casually started speaking again. “But now, I’ll have a band practice, so see you on Friday! Have a nice afternoon!” he hollered like he was in the 7th heaven and left the room while humming a funky song and dancing his way past the door.

I couldn’t quite process what I had just seen. Did Chanyeol really get on cloud 9 after realising that we would get to spend more time together? Like, what was wrong with him? Did he – perhaps – like me?

Oh, no way! Why would he? We hadn’t even talked to each other before Soonyoung’s dance classes. Oh no, that’s totally and absolutely impossible. There was no way that he liked me. No, not at all. Plus, why would I be appealing to him? There was nothing lovable about me. So why was he so hyped up?

Gosh, he was weird. Guys were weird.

[sambashua]

11 questions~ (again)

I did this a while back but i think it’s really fun so thank you @yooncheoly​ !! Also I’m answering my sister’s questions @aegyovendingmachine​ too bc I like talking abt myself ok (bye this is so so long rip when will i shut up)

Kelby’s Questions!

1~When did you first get into Kpop?And what was the first MV / Song that got you hooked? Wellllllll I first started listening to BTS in October 2015 probs but I didn’t branch out to more groups until March 2016 ish. But the first MV that got me hooked was Dope on the Fine Bros react channel lol

2~Who are your Bias Wreckers for the groups that you love? AHAHAHHAHA (this is gonna be so long dear lord) okay soooo my bias groups are svt and nct and honestly?? I love them all a ridiculous amount! so in svt I am stupidly loyal to wonwoo bc I am a messssss and i go through phases of loving each of them more~ I never rlly feel threatened that wonu will be debunked as my ult but probably the one who rlly gets me goin the most is hosh:) for nct I used to bias mark then yuta lol but i think the dreamies are my true bias group who even is jung jaehyun tbh so yeah donghyuck is everything to me. for other groups ! ummm in bts I love them all a lottttt a lot too but I think lately jin and jungkook have mostly been wrecking me? I’m p loyal to monnie tho! okay for astro it’s 10/10 jinjin at the moment but sanha and mj snatch me often enough too for sure~ in twice mina has been ruining my life but what’s new tbh. jae for day6 destroys me way too often someone collect him. in shinee it’s probably key! just bc I really like his sense of humor and I relate to him haaa. honestlyyyy in all girl groups i am high key disloyal and swerving all over the place oops. anddd sehun is legit my ult bias wrecker like at this point he might as well be my bias baekhyunnie is dead to me 

3~If you had the chance to go to ONLY 1 concert and go backstage and hang out and meet everyone who would you choose and why? BOIIIIIIIII um probably seventeen let’s be real just bc they are my bias group and although I love a lot of groups I feel like they would make me feel very welcome!!

4~Have you ever met one of your idols?How was it if you have?And if you haven’t, who would you want to meet and why? omg no I wishhhhhhh but I am going to see monsta x in July!! I am very very excited!!!!

5~What’s the coolest thing that you have bought(Merchandise wise)From the groups that you love? Ummmmmm I don’t have a whole lot of merch but I have the Love & Letter album and the Boys Wish DVD and it’s my fave

6~Can you recommend some of your favorite MV’s to watch? UM IDEK HELP ME WOW okay so I’ve kinda gathered through emma (correct me if i’m wrong ah) that you haven’t branched out to a whole lot of groups yet? Is that incorrect ? idk BUT WOW DO I GOT A LIST I’ll just list some of my faves tho! (side note: i’m not a huge mv watcher i’m more of a dance practice gal)

Day6 - I’m Serious : I’m not sure if this is my favorite of their’s bc it’s hard to compare them all but it’s a really cute and summery video:)

ASTRO - Baby : OKAY IT’S REALLY NEW BUT I THINK IT’S MY FAVORITE ONE THEY’VE RELEASED it’s so high budget and pretty wahhh

NCT U - 7th Sense : This one really brings me back to when I didn’t know any of them and cass showed me it in senior year english wow what ride it’s been (a long ass ride)

Nu’est - Love Paint : THIS MV IS SO PRETTY OKAY STAN NU’EST PLZ

SF9 - Easy Love : This is my favorite SF9 mv bc I like the song and they all look so handsome!!

Victon - I’m Fine : my cute cute sons w their cute cute debut

SHINee - Can I Get Your Number & Tell Me What to Do : cigyn was a fave of mine from when I first listened to them and then tmwtd just makes me laugh bc of taemin at this part like why tae omg

Monsta X - Beautiful & Stuck : honestly love all their mvs tho

my sister’s gonna kill me Zico - I Am You, You Are Me : it’s rlly cute okay i like it AND SO DOES WONWOO BYE

Up10tion - White Night : THIS MV STILL BLOWS MY MIND OKAY

Twice - Cheer Up (ofc)

Red Velvet - Dumb Dumb : the aesthetics on all their mvs are so good

Wonder Girls - Why So Lonely : dude this mv is so good I miss them so much

Luna - Free Somebody : THIS SONG/MV/DANCE IS MY LIFE OKAY LIVE FOR THIS STAN LUNA

(okay i’m gonna stop hmu anytime for mv or music recs damn i need to chill)

7~Favorite Video games(If you play them)? no juego los videojuegos ahhhhhhhh sorry idk i never got into them… i used to play the sims… but Just Dance is my shit also Mario Cart

8~Favorite picture of your ultimate bias? DON’T DO THIS TO ME (okay i narrowed it down to 4 that was a trial in itself jesus this post is getting so long free me)

9~What’s your favorite choreo? KELBY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I LEGIT WROTE AN ARTICLE ABT THIS AND IT WAS JUST FOR 2017 (jan-march) AND I WAS ALREADY STRUGGLING okay jk i just realized NCT Dream’s My First and Last was a thing that is 100% my favorite choreo for so many reasons !!!! first the choreo is ridiculous like come on all the cool tricks and floor work is amazing. second it never repeats except for one part at the very end of the chorus repeats once, but other than that every single move is different literally how tf. third the formations are so diverse! especially since they’re an even number (jaemin i miss you) formations are always tricky so i was so impressed. lasttttt they are literal children? how? stan talent stan nct dream (oh also shout out to ten’s dream in a dream that was some lit stuff)

10~Favorite era? probablyyyyyy the renaissance hahaaa just kidding ahhhh wow i’m funny. but fr i am not sure???? i literally stan sooo many groups it’s really hard to narrow it down… but my bias group is svt and i think my favorite era is Love & Letter! (i would say nice but ah wonu) bc they all had cute hair and it was their first win and it was the first comeback i was part of the fandom!

11~How do the people in your life react when you tell them that you listen to kpop?Are they supportive or just against it? lol soooo idk I don’t necessarily bring it up these days ? just bc I’m in college now so idk I only bring it up casually I guess… BUTTTTTT when I first told my friends I was so nervous and they judged me so hard and a lot of them still judge me but they now know it’s part of who I am and they kinda accept that! I actually was the first person I knew to get into kpop so I dragged a lot of my friends irl into it too! (shoutout to @aegyovendingmachine @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking @honestlay ) and i’ve made so many friends through it online and in real life! (shoutout to @atshinee i know it wasn’t why we became friends but it definitely helped make us close!)

Sister’s Questions!

1. Who is your favorite person on Produce 101? (if you’re not watching the show or don’t know anything about it then which is your favorite predebut project? i.e Fantagio I-Teen, SM Rookies, K.A.R.D, Pledis Girlz, etc.) YOOOOO DON’T DO THIS TO ME but my top 11 boys are probably Park Woojin (my most precious baby ilh), Samuel Kim, Kim Sanggyun, Kim Jonghyun, Im Youngmin, Noh Taehyun, Jung Sewoon, Kim Donghan, Kim Yongguk, Takada Kenta, Daniel Kang, and Lee Daewhi (ah there’s so many more too rip i’m crying) idk there’s so many in the top that... not saying they don’t deserve it... it’s just that they’re given more screen time by chance and not bc of talent.... also i’m crying for my eliminated babies Hong Eunki (it is such bs he got eliminated fight me he was my fave), Byun Hyunmin (HE WAS SO PURE AND ADORABLE I MISS HIM SM), Woo Jinyoung (he was such a good rapper he didn’t deserve this), Kim Dongbin (listen he wasn’t the best but he really did improve so so much), ALSO CONSIDER THEY HAVE ELIMINATED MOST OF THEIR VOCALISTS THERE’S GONNA BE NONE LEFT AND ALL THEIR SONGS ARE GONNA BE TRASH I HOPE YOU’LL ALL BE HAPPY

2. What’s your favorite idol group friendship? (Mine is probs SVT x Monsta X or Astro x KNK) YO KNKSTRO IS MY SHIT I LOVE MY BOYS well okay also monsta x svt is a fave also ncteen but I mean I’m a ho for svt interacting with any idols so~~

3. What concert would you most like to see? honestly I feel like SHINee puts on the best concerts and SHAWOLS are the cutest and nicest ever!!

4. Which disbanded group would you bring back if you could? (Or, alternatively: which members that have left a group would you bring back?) UM WOW GUESS WHO’S CRYING sistar’s disbandment was so recent this hurts me... but probably Wonder Girls bc they were one of my first favorite girl groups:(((

5. What was the last thing you texted someone? wtf these were all kpop i wasn’t readyyyyy “STOP HE IS LITERALLY THE SOFTEST BOY IN THE WHOLE WORLD I LOVE HIM” I’m so extra

6. When/how did you get into kpop? bye how many times do i have to answer this YOUTUBERS>BTS>HELL

7. Who is your youngest bias? ohh this is interesting... most of my female biases are younger... yehana, yeri, chaeyoung, suhyun are all 99 line! (suhyun being the youngest of them) but I mean the dreamies are ~basically~ my bias group so all of them are younger than them (also does samuel count as a bias? bc he’s 02 line) my youngest “official” boy group bias is moonbin tho!

8. What’s the most extra thing you remember saying in the tags on a post? bitch you know every tag i do is extra how tf am i supposed to find this???? well recently I tagged this post [#svt #boy wyd layin upside down like that ya gonna crack ya damn head open #he makes me so nervous #joshua #al1] is that good enough~ also my entire jaewindo thread bc i’ve reblogged the same post so many times bc it’s my fave! (i just realized i’m most extra when tagging my shua posts gdi)

9. What is your favorite reality show? (not like Real Housewives lmao but like NCT Life or One Fine Day or smth like that!) oh damn idk probablyyyyy NCT Life and then OFD... jsut bc I’ve only seen three seasons of OFD so idk if i’d like it if I wasn’t into the group but every season of NCT Life is golden soooo (plz put markhyuck on the next season i’m begging you sm)

10. What’s your favorite drama? (if you don’t watch dramas you can just use your favorite TV show it’s fine) Probablyyyyyyyyyy Doctors Crush or Legend of the Blue Sea!!

11. Post your favorite selfie of your bias’! you know my man is anti selfie what is this

this was so expected sorry if you thought I would choose any other selfie then unfollow me now this was the selfie that reassured that my man was on the mend!!

here i’ll post ones for namjoon and jaehyun just bc I want to give them more love

bye this was so difficult he has soooo many selfies what the heck~~~ I’m not confident but this one is for sure adorable!!

THIS WAS ALSO DIFFICULT AH bc he honestly looks good all the time so this was unfair

this was the longest post of my life jeezzzzzz well probably no one read this but i’m not gonna tag anyone bc i am so bad at coming up w questions sorry.....