#honestly the funniest part of all this is that in the midst of a story wehre like

[lord-squiggletits]

On my Pharma apologism bullshit again

So like, I've made posts in the past about how Pharma's trauma at the hands of Tarn/the DJD and his refusal to call for help makes sense given what we later learned about Tarn/the DJD's capabilities for isolating and brutally murdering targets. Basically, I said that it makes sense that Pharma is largely treated as a villain by the narrative because the present-day of the story takes place entirely during Pharma's madness/villain arc and that's the only function he has in the story: as a super tertiary villain that's not meant to be Super Deep. Since a lot of Pharma's character is stuff that you can only infer via retroactive lore scattered throughout future series, and the narrative never brings it up so you have to put the lore together yourself, it makes sense that Pharma's first/present-day characterization as a "mad doctor" is how he's primarily remembered.

But honestly, I still have to call bullshit on Ratchet immediately assuming Pharma was evil and working for the DJD. You don't have to sympathize/apologize for Pharma based on later lore that only we as the reader are subject to; you can find signs of it literally throughout MTMTE 5-6, the same issues that introduce Pharma and treat him as if he's simply a mad doctor/evil Autobot.

We establish that the facility of Delphi is on "the edges of DJD territory"

As characters introduce more details about the DJD, we find out a lot of "fun" facts about them:

They specialize in "extreme punishment" aka torture, as wee see a mech who looks like they've been completely stripped of armor and literally has their guts hanging out

They punish Decepticons who defect or turn traitor

Just witnessing the aftermath of what they do is enough to traumatize people (the Swerve line is played as a joke of how he was upset he couldn't talk, but the root cause of him not being able to talk was being traumatized by seeing the DJD's work)

Multiple Decepticons, including Drift who just earlier in MTMTE 5, tried to play off his fear of the DJD, say that they would rather be killed or euthanized than face the DJD

And, most importantly in regards to Pharma... the DJD were literally going to kill everyone at Delphi and destroy the whole facility if Pharma didn't comply with Tarn's demands.

And also: Delphi is harboring an ex-Decepticon who defected to the Autobots, aka one of the very people who the DJD are employed to track down and kill in the most gruesome of ways.

So in other words, not only would the DJD have wanted to kill everyone at Delphi simply for being Autobots, it also stands to reason that they would have inevitably come to Delphi at some point in time because they would've come for Ambulon and, presumably, Pharma's deal with Tarn was the only thing keeping Ambulon safe (as we can extrapolate since his t-cog deal was keeping everyone at Delphi safe).

Though of course, the characters in the story (I'll focus on Ratchet for now) aren't privy to all of this. But I still find it rather callous of Ratchet to react the way he does

Considering that before this conversation, he already knew the points mentioned above (including having the personal experience of Decepticons/Drift telling him they'd rather die than meet the DJD)

And what rubs salt in the wound is that later on Ratchet acknowledges that

For most of his life, Pharma was a fantastic doctor.

Later on in certain flashbacks we also find out that Pharma and Ratchet worked together at the DMF before the war even started and continued to work with each other throughout the war (such as when they saw all the dead Wreckers cadets), dating their friendship as having lasted at least 4 million years long. So basically, Ratchet has an intimate knowledge of Pharma from them being friends virtually their entire lives.

Then Ratchet sees Pharma go from "a fantastic doctor" to a raving lunatic killing his patients and just....... doesn't notice anything amiss with this? The ONE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE who was closer to Pharma than anyone else just didn't question this sudden, radical change in Pharma's demeanor? Even after knowing about the DJD being on Messatine? Even after being personally told that people would rather die than face the DJD? And Ratchet's first reaction to the whole situation is to say angrily to Pharma "You harvested organs on behalf of the DJD?!" as if it was some sort of choice Pharma did willingly.

It's not so much Ratchet being mad about Pharma killing people that gets to me, it's the aspect of how Ratchet was Pharma's best friend for 4+ million years, used to be inseparable from him at one point, and should therefore have known Pharma well enough to understand when he was acting out of character, both in regards to betraying his medical ethics and in regards to behaving erratically and acting stark raving mad.

Like really, this is just a personal thing, but as someone who HAS a best friend that I've been friends with for almost half my life at this point (and soon we'll have been friends for longer time than we didn't know each other), I can't fathom treating her the way Ratchet treated Pharma here. Anger and a feeling of betrayal, sure, but assuming the absolute worst of Pharma and not giving a single lick of care towards the circumstances all pointing flaming arrows to a sign that says "PHARMA WENT INSANE FROM BEING BLACKMAILED BY THE DJD"? That's just low, man.

TLDR: I thought that the sympathetic Pharma lore wrt his fear of/paranoia about the DJD was only established retrospectively, but it turns out the signs of Pharma being forced/driven mad by the DJD were there literally from the start of the Delphi arc and Ratchet just didn't give a shit about it I guess.

[kindahoping4forever]

I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You // Poly!Cashton

@cal-puddies​​ and I want to thank everyone who read/liked/reblogged/left us feedback during our Hoe For The Hoe-lidays event. We keep saying we can’t believe we pulled this off: between our 10 solo fics and this co-write, we posted over 30k words this week! I’m proud of not only that impressive feat but also the work we produced, these have been some of my favorite pieces in recent memory.

We knew we wanted to close out with a Galaxybrain co-write but we weren’t sure which of our lanes to feed. We figured, hey it’s the season of giving: why not both? 😏 In true Cass & Crystal fashion, this started out with us just being thirsty (we wrote the smut first lmao) but ended up being super heartfelt and emotional? Please be sure and let us know what you think, we couldn’t be prouder of this one!

Warnings: Reader x Calum, Reader x Ashton, Calum x Ashton; a relatively new throuple trying to figure out how to express their feelings for one another, filth but make it fluffy, unprotected sex within a triad relationship, oral sex performed on both a male and a female, manual stimulation of both a male and a female, cum play 

Word Count: 9150

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

“Food’s here,” a voice quietly announces with a rap on the door.

You turn to see Calum in your bedroom doorway, sheepishly mouthing ‘sorry’ when he realizes you’re on the phone. You step over to him and whisper, “I’m almost done, bub,” reassuring him with a quick peck on the lips.

A few minutes later, you follow the sounds of loud laughter and conversation to the living room; you smile when you see Ashton standing there, in the midst of an animated story while Cal sits on the couch, hanging on every word, laughing as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed. You honestly wonder if maybe it is.

You bounce over behind Ash, throwing your arms around him, nuzzling his back; his leather jacket feels cold against your face so you assume he hasn’t been here long. “I didn’t know we were seeing you tonight,” you chirp.

He chuckles, slinging an arm around you. “I was texting with Cal when he was ordering dinner and it sounded good so I invited myself,” he explains, kissing your forehead.

“Bullshit, I absolutely invited you!” Cal insists, smiling eyes betraying his words of protest. You giggle at their banter and untangle yourself from Ash to serve yourself some dinner. Cal continues his teasing, “The food sounded good, just admit you missed us and move on.”

Ashton sits down on the couch next to Cal and nudges his knee tentatively with his own. “Of course I missed you,” he says simply. The two men exchange sweet, almost shy smiles and you feel your entire being light up with affection as you watch them.

It’d been four months since you and Ash had asked Calum to be a part of your relationship and while the three of you were still individually and collectively deciding exactly what all that means, you were happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

In the year and a half you were with Ashton, it was as intense and meaningful a relationship as you’d ever had - but it was never quite right and you’d split up a handful of times. During one of your “breaks” last year, a friend of a friend suggested that Cal might be the answer to your search for a new roommate. You met for coffee one day and immediately hit it off; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t quickly develop feelings for him but more than anything at that point, you needed a friend and Cal was there for you when it really counted.

It came as no surprise that when Ash started hanging around again, he bonded with Cal as instantly as you did and the three of you became inseparable. You and Ashton reconciled once again and couldn’t help but notice how much more communicative and at peace with each other you were with Calum around. It’s like he had been the missing piece all along, he made everything feel right - and you eventually told him as much.

Which is why you’re struggling so much with the bad news you have to deliver to your boyfriends. You sit on your living room floor, picking at your dinner, going over the dilemma in your mind for the 100th time, trying to find a different solution.

“Darlin’?” Cal’s gentle but firm voice shakes you out of your thoughts and you look up blankly. “Ash asked if you wanted another soda.”

You blink a few times, as if that will reset your mind and bring clarity. “Oh. No thank you, love, I’m good!” You call out towards the kitchen.

“You feelin’ OK?” Cal asks, reaching across the coffee table to stroke your arm. “We’ve been talking about this food all day and you’ve barely touched it.”

You look into his dark eyes, full of care and concern and know you have to be honest with him. “I need to talk to you both about Christmas… it’s not great,” you admit.

Ashton searches your face as he sits back down. “Is your mom alright?” He gently asks, remembering a health scare your family was dealing with when he went home with you last winter.

You offer him a faint, loving smile. “Everyone’s fine… great, even. Uh… my sister is getting engaged,” you share, chewing your lip.

“Oh! ...Oh,” he responds, starting to understand the issue.

Calum looks between the two of you, baffled. “I don’t understand, why is that bad? I thought we liked her boyfriend?”

“We do,” you start, carefully. “It’s just… With this news in mind, I don’t know if it’s really the right time to tell everyone about our relationship now.” You can’t bring yourself to look in Cal’s eyes yet, not wanting to see if he’s as hurt as you fear he may be.

He sits back on the couch, trying to process. “I thought you said your parents would be super understanding and chill about us?”

Ash sees you struggling to find the words so he tries to help. “They would be. They will be,” he reassures Cal with a warm smile. “I think the concern is that an engagement might seem kind of mundane compared to an announcement like ours. What’s more exciting than a daughter bringing home one son in law? How about the other daughter bringing home two?”

“They’d spend the whole time doting on us, making sure we’re comfortable, Facebooking all the extended family who’s coming to visit to make sure no one says anything that might offend us… her moment would get totally overshadowed,” you explain. “And I’d hate that, this is a big deal, she deserves to be The Story.”

Calum listens intently, nodding. You finally catch his gaze and are relieved to see nothing but understanding and compassion on his face. “OK. Well, wouldn't it be better if I just didn’t go at all then?” He offers sincerely.

Your exclamation of “Bubba, no!” blends with Ashton’s soft sigh of “Cal…” and you all have to laugh at the outburst.

"That's not me trying to be dramatic or anything, I just don't want to cause any trouble," he shrugs.

You scoot around to come sit next to the couch. "I've really been looking forward to us spending our first Christmas together," you insist, squeezing Cal's knee. "If you're uncomfortable with coming under these circumstances, I understand but for what it's worth, I would like you there."

Ash places his hand on top of yours, reassuring Calum as well. "The family's already expecting you, just as a roommate," he points out. "Plus… trying to keep our secret could be kind of fun." He winks at Cal, who can't resist breaking into a wide grin.

Your “fun” holiday couldn’t be off to a worse start the next morning when Ashton arrives bright and early to pick you and Cal up only to find you still in your pajamas, rushing to finish getting your bags together. After a few minutes of Ash stomping around, huffing about getting a late start, Cal, peacemaker that he is, offers to help him pack the car while you finish up.

You meet them in the driveway a few minutes later, dragging your suitcase behind you. Ash promptly snatches it away from you without a word and you glare at him fiercely.

Calum appears at your side and holds you by the waist. “You can’t blame him for being irritated,” he says quietly, rubbing your arm. “You knew what time he was coming, you should have been packed.”

“Yeah… but,” you start.

Cal is already shaking his head. “No, darlin’, there’s no excuse. We had a plan, you should have been ready.”

“See!” Ashton says, coming up beside the two of you.

“Well, you don’t get to gloat, babe, you could have handled it better,” Cal chides.

“I don’t like it when you don’t pick sides,” Ash says, coming over to peck Cal’s cheek. He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I’m sorry I was a grouch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready and delayed us 15 whole minutes,” you reply.

Cal pinches your hip. “Passive aggressive much?”

Ash shrugs at you. “It’s coming out of your breakfast time. It’s a 6 hour drive, love.”

“I’m aware, love,” you fire back, helping yourself into the back seat. He sighs as you pull the hood up on your sweatshirt and stuff your hands in the pocket.

Ash huffs as he shuts your door. Cal gently grabs his arm. “Give her a few minutes. We’ll make breakfast quick, coffee and bagels; smother hers in cream cheese, get some caffeine in her and she’ll forgive you,” he reassures.

His prediction is spot on and by the time you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, you’re leaning into the front seat to run your fingers through both of your boyfriends’ hair. “I’m so glad I get to take you both home with me,” you say warmly. “I’m sorry it can’t be exactly what we wanted, but I know it’ll still be special, because we’ll be together.”

The rest of the drive goes smoothly and when you arrive at your parents’ house, the family is waiting at the door for you; after introducing Calum, you’re immediately whisked away by your sister, gushing about the recent trip her boyfriend took her on for their anniversary. You listen quietly and hope your smile doesn’t give anything away, you love that she has no idea what’s coming in a few days.

Your dad loves Ashton and couldn’t be more thrilled that you brought him home again; he offers to help him unload the car and makes a big show of pointing out how similar their leather jackets are, going so far as to make a “like father, like son” joke.

You sneak a few apologetic glances over at Calum, who you hope isn’t feeling too left out in his role of “your roommate” as he makes small talk with your sister’s boyfriend. You feel endlessly grateful for your mother when you see her sit down and start showing Cal all the gourmet vegetarian recipes she’s bookmarked on her iPad, asking what he’d prefer for Christmas dinner; she’s clearly charmed by his shyly polite responses and you fight the urge to go over and kiss over his squishy, crinkly face as her attention continues to make him more smiley and flustered.

While your mom and sister set the table for dinner, your dad and Ash carry the luggage to your respective rooms for you to get settled; you take advantage of the opportunity to break away and check in with Cal, under the guise of showing him the trick to operating the shower in the guest bathroom.

You turn the overhead fan on to help drown out your conversation. “You doin’ OK, bub?” You ask, massaging his shoulders.

He squeezes your hip. “It was hard at first but your mom’s sweet,” he gives you a sad smile. “Guess I didn’t realize how weird it’d be to see you and Ash act like a couple again, since I’m used to seeing you be… whatever we are.”

“The best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s what we are,” you easily respond, drawing him in for a quick, soft kiss.

He holds you by the hips, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “You better get out of here before people get suspicious.” He presses his lips to your forehead and you step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You spend the next few days trying to make sure Calum doesn’t feel left out. Your dad invites him to join some of the “future son in law” activities he’d planned but Cal is easily swayed to stay with your mom and help around the house. His height and muscle mass are highly desired for decorating or carrying in groceries and he’s so sweet and well-mannered, your mom is just tickled to have him around. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she had a crush on him.

The day before Christmas Eve, Cal agrees to join the men for lunch and last minute shopping; your mom encouraged him to go because she wanted to make a secret shopping trip with you so you could pick out a few gifts for the family to give him so he didn’t get left out.

From what Ashton tells you when they return, the outing seemed to go well; you chatted with Cal a little that evening and he seemed to be in good spirits, happy with how things had turned out. But you can still sense him needing the affection you haven’t been able to provide; aside from a stolen kiss here and there, you’d barely touched him since you arrived and he and Ash had been keeping their distance so as not to raise eyebrows. What weighs on you most is knowing Calum hadn’t slept alone since the three of you became the three of you and you can see it wearing on him.

Ashton climbs in bed next to you. “Love… who’re you texting?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“I just want to make sure he’s OK,” you say sheepishly.

“He’s fine, love,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then letting his lips trail down to your neck. “You’ve said he’s had fun with you and your mom and I saw him have a great day today. He’s good… now, me on the other hand? I could use some attention.” His lips firmly attach to your jaw and he’s practically laid himself on top of you, hovering.

You giggle at his lack of subtlety. “When do you not want attention?” You tease, pulling him into a hungry kiss. “I’ve been missing you too, Ash. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you much, I’ve just been worried about how Cal’s handling things and I love my family but being around them is kind of draining…”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss. “I know, baby… ‘s why I thought we could use a little stress relief,” he flirts, leaning in to mouth at that spot behind your ear that makes you crazy.

You hum with interest and brush his hair off his forehead. “We’d have to be quiet, we can’t have another incident like last year,” you say with a smirk.

Ash pulls back to playfully glare at you. “We’ve gone over this, technically that noise I made was your fault. If you hadn’t done that thing with your tongue, I wouldn’t have cum so suddenly and the incident would’ve been avoided,” he argues, tickling your side.

You try fighting him off to no avail. “My sister did think it was pretty funny… after the initial horror wore off,” you giggle, batting at his hands, trying to get him to let up.

After another minute or so of play fighting, you “win” by wrapping your legs around Ashton’s body and using them to draw him back over you. He kisses you with a little more emotion behind it than last time, pulling away to whisper, “I’m very happy I get to be here with you.” Your stomach flips at his sincerity and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your kisses tell him how much you appreciate him.

Things start to heat up and Ash’s hands slide up your sweatshirt and over your hips; his hands are slow to tease you the way they usually do and when you rock against him, you’re slightly surprised you don’t feel him straining against his sweatpants yet. Your fingers travel under his long sleeve tee and dance over his abs to meet his waistband. You’re just about to dip your hand in when he stops you.

“Does this feel weird to you? This feels weird to me,” he sighs, flopping over onto his back beside you. He runs his hand through his long, dark hair, distressed. “Why does this feel weird to me?”

You roll onto your side, curling up next to him. “Well… we haven’t been intimate together, just the two of us, since Cal happened,” you say gently, stroking softly at his chest. “Do you think maybe you miss him being with us?”

“Yeahhhhh, I think so…” He lets out a long exhale, playing with your hand on him. “I just… it’s silly, you and me had sex a million times before we met him and now… I pull away from you and expect to see his eyes smiling at me while he kisses your shoulders. Expect to feel your skin already warm from his touch… expect to feel him warm next to me. Want it, even.”

“Ash,” you pout, touched by how he’s opening up to you, how open he’s being with himself about his feelings for Calum. “It’s not silly, you care about him. It’s not that you and I are suddenly uncomfortable with each other, it’s just that we’re used to more than this now. Need it, even.”

You rest your head on his chest and lay together, quiet and understanding while you both evaluate your feelings. After a while, you decide to lighten the mood, lifting your head up to tease, “A million times, eh?”

Ashton laughs loudly, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. A beat passes and he meets your eyes for the first time since this conversation started, giving you an almost shy smile. “Think we could slip him in here undetected?”

You grin at him as you reach for your phone. “I don’t think the three of us would be able to keep it down, so no funny business,” you warn, texting your boyfriend. “But at the very least, we’ll get some alone time, even for a few minutes.”

Ash gets up and cracks the door, waiting for Cal to make his way down the hall; when he appears in the doorway, you see Ashton’s shoulders instantly relax. He gently closes the door behind him and wraps Calum in a tight, warm embrace; you can’t tell what Ash murmurs in his ear but whatever it is, it casts a soft, lovestruck glow across Cal’s features when he hears it.

His eyes meet yours and you open your arms wide. “Come lay with us, bubba,” you invite him.

“But…” He motions to the door, looking unsure.

Ash shrugs, “We can say we’re watching a movie.” He rests his chin on Cal’s shoulder from behind. “What do you say, babe? We miss you.”

Calum relaxes, gently reaching up to scratch at Ash’s scruff. He moves toward the bed but clearly doesn’t know what to do.

“Lay next to me, bub!” You smile, patting the bed next to you.

Ash lets a soft smile cross his face. “Why don’t you get in the middle?” He suggests.

Cal lays next to you and you instantly snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his body while Ash settles in on his other side. Cal wraps his arm around you and kisses your forehead; you look up with a pout and he presses his lips to yours. He pulls away from you when he feels Ashton nuzzle his cheek; Ash looks at him lovingly and gently plants a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Thought we were cuddling, lovers,” Cal whispers against his mouth.

“We are… just wanted to give you affection too,” Ash murmurs.

The three of you lay quietly for a while, Ash’s head next to Cal’s on the pillow and you draped across Cal’s body. His arm is tight around your back while he and Ash shyly play with each other’s fingers.

Ash looks over at you and you watch as his eyes take you in. “Our girlfriend sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Cal?” He whispers, lips gently pressing to Cal’s jaw.

“Gorgeous,” he agrees, turning his eyes to you, sweeping your hair back. Ash leans in to you first for a kiss, with Cal wanting one right after. You sigh, scooting up so you can rest your head in the crook of Cal’s neck, and let yourself drift to sleep. Calum knows immediately, he’s felt your even breath on his neck many times.

“She sleeps so easy with you,” Ash comments, brushing his fingers against Cal’s for the umpteenth time. Cal finally laces his fingers with Ashton’s, looking over at him. They stare at each other for a few moments before Ash speaks again. “I’m so glad you decided to come with us after all… I know it’s not perfect and not what we talked about, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy this without you.”

“I’m really happy to be here,” Cal responds quietly, squeezing Ash’s hand and your sleeping body gently. “I was definitely missing all of this though... thanks for bringing me in tonight.”

“We needed you,” Ash confesses, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Weird when you're not here now.”

Calum turns his face toward Ashton’s, nuzzling in and enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend, his rough hand wrapped with his; he grins against Ash’s cheek and Ash responds with a kiss to his forehead.

Cal stays, wrapped in the both of you, for another 45 minutes before the men agree it’s time to call it a night. He tries his best not to wake you as he slips out of bed but he fails, leading to an extra 15 minutes of your soft whines and insistence that he stay. He finally leaves you with a passionate kiss and a kiss on the cheek for Ash.

The next day, Christmas Eve, goes by fast. Various family and friends are in and out of the house all day, stopping by to share their holiday greetings. Continuing your family’s tradition, the men head out in the afternoon to pick out and haul home a Christmas tree and after dinner, you all decorate it together.

Like you’ve done since you were kids, the lights in the living room get turned off for a dramatic “reveal” of the lit and decorated tree when you’re all finished. The multi-colored lights get plugged in and brighten up the room, illuminating your sister’s boyfriend down on one knee. You squeeze Ashton’s hand and subtly brush your pinky down the back of Calum’s hand. Her “moment” is perfect and you silently thank your boyfriends with your eyes for understanding why you wanted this for her.

After some dessert and celebratory cocktails, everyone is exhausted but happy to be together. Your dad gets a fire going and your sister puts on the old Rudolph special you loved as kids; you plop yourself in Ashton's lap on the couch, with Cal sitting close by, close enough for you to keep throwing him little glances undetected. You know it must’ve been hard for him to go back to bed alone after the time you spent together last night and even harder today, having to watch you and Ash continually couple up and be gushed over by your holiday visitors.

Halfway through the show, your dad starts snoring so Mom decides it’s time for them to head up to bed. Your sister and her fiancée make it through to the end of the show but when you suggest following it up with Frosty The Snowman, they decline and tell you and the guys goodnight.

After such a long day, filled with so much unspoken emotion, it's surprising how quiet the three of you are now that you're alone. Sitting with your men in a room lit only by the warm glow of the fire and the soft colored lights of the tree - this was the type of scene you imagined when you envisioned your first Christmas together. But the feeling's not quite right.

You peck Ashton on the cheek before sliding off his lap, moving to sit on the other side of Calum, putting him in the middle of you and Ash. You run a hand through his hair, tentatively at first, just in case everyone in the house isn't quite settled yet. "How are you, bub?" You ask softly.

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch and you feel your heart both swell and break a little at how badly he was clearly needing your affection. "Good. Tired. Happy I can finally do this," he replies, leaning in to give you a short but needy kiss.

When he pulls back, he grabs your hand out of his hair and brings it up to his lips for a kiss; he waits a beat then reaches for Ash’s hand and kisses it as well. “Missed you too, bub,” you murmur with a smile.  

Ash looks at both of you, adoration in his eyes. You recognize that look on his face, the one that means he’s searching for the right words, trying to line up his emotions with his nervous tongue.  

You squeeze his other hand that’s resting on the back of the couch behind Cal, sensing he needs encouragement and he glances at you, grateful.

"We both missed you, Cal,” he starts, shaking his head as he decides to go all in. “I’ve missed you, is what I mean actually. Not being able to have you close the past few days has me realizing how much closer I would like you to be."

He cups Cal’s face, stroking gently with his thumb while he waits for his words to sink in and his nerves to settle. He inches forward and gently kisses him; it’s brief but Ash is purposeful in the way their lips slot together. When he gets bold and slips in his tongue, Cal visibly tenses and Ash pulls away gracefully, not wanting to push.

You stop yourself from obviously reacting but your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. You've watched them both struggle to navigate their feelings for each other over the past four months and you couldn't be happier to see at least Ashton take a step towards clarity. You gently rest your palm on top of their intertwined hands and squeeze twice; a supportive one for Ash and a reassuring one for Cal.

Cal, dazed, turns to look at you briefly before his eyes briefly widen as if a light bulb has gone off. He grabs Ash’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, this one more desperate, with daring tongue and teeth.

You quietly pull your hand off theirs, not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their moment. You can't deny that witnessing their hunger for each other has you feeling needy yourself but you know how important this exploration is for them, how important it is for the three of you, so you patiently sit and watch.

They eventually pull away from each other, panting. You see them exchange a look of some sort and then Calum is reaching for you; he kisses you feverishly while lifting you over his lap and fitting you in between him and Ash. His lips move down to your neck and suddenly Ashton's tongue is slowly tangling with yours; you can tell by his kiss he's still in his feelings and you do your best to match his energy, letting him know you're there for him.

You break apart, one of your hands in each of your boyfriends' hair. You all look back and forth between each other and quietly laugh, ecstatic to be alone together and ready to take advantage of this opportunity.

Ashton gives you another lingering kiss, massaging your breast over your sweater before pulling away and immediately drawing Calum in for a kiss; they sit up on their knees, making out over you and you watch how they lose themselves in it, yet keep their hands occupied in each other's hair, almost as if they're unsure if they should go further. They each let out a quiet groan and you note the tents forming in both of their pants; you decide to help them out and reach to palm their straining cocks while they kiss.

It surprises Ashton more than Cal; he stops their kiss to look down at you. He runs a hand over your face and smiles at you briefly before his mouth is back on Cal’s.

You turn toward Calum, gently lifting his shirt and kissing on his stomach. He lets out an appreciative moan for your touch and you take that cue to unzip his pants; he eagerly cooperates in helping you pull him out of his boxers.

“Oh god,” he moans against Ash’s mouth as you use yours to slick him up before stroking your hand over his now wet cock. You’ve missed him: his sounds, his taste, the way he feels against your skin, the way he appreciates you and the attention you give him. You press sloppy kisses to his length, grinning to yourself as precum beads at his tip, moving to kitten lick at it.

Ashton gently tugs on your hair, wanting attention for himself. You continue rubbing over his bulge, adding in a few squeezes, buying yourself a little more time with Calum. You finally pull off and look up at your boyfriends, still lost in each other, though Cal steals a glance down at you while Ash’s lips are pressed to his jaw. He gives you a little grin and pushes his hand under Ash’s shirt.

You notice Ash falter for a second in reaction to Cal touching him that way but he quickly recovers from his hesitation, moaning quietly and tucking a hand in your hair. You pull at the button on his pants, taking his cock out and slicking him up as well; you swirl your tongue around the head, enjoying the soft groans you hear coming from him, thrilled that you're not sure if they're being caused by you or Cal. You notice that his hand has left you and has begun unbuttoning Cal's shirt; Calum reaches down and yanks at the shoulder of your sweater, gesturing for you to take it off.

Ash quietly sighs at the loss of your mouth but is quickly distracted by kissing over Cal's now exposed chest; you pull your sweater over your head and tug your leggings down while you're at it, leaving you in your bra and panties. You give a small whimper of relief as you press your thighs together before reaching for the cocks on either side of you, shiny and red, begging for your attention. You stroke them both evenly and firmly, watching with pride as their expressions change in response to your actions.

Calum is the first to glance at you and notice your new state of undress. "Fuck, darlin', look at you," he rasps, leaning down to kiss you, sneaking his fingers inside your bra to play with a nipple. "Look so pretty under all these lights." Cal smiles against your lips as he feels Ash's hand stroke through his hair while he kisses you.

Ashton pulls his own shirt off and then his hand snakes between your legs, tracing over the front of the lacy, damp material. "Mmm, so wet for us, baby,” he teases lowly, dipping his fingers underneath your panties to tap lightly at your clit. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet if we decide to do anything about it?” Cal groans as he sucks just below your earlobe; he loves how responsive you are when Ash taunts you like this.

Proving his point, you let out a whine before quickly biting your lip to fight back any other sounds that might come out. Ash chuckles, suddenly rubbing hard and fast at your clit just to see how much restraint you have. You screw your eyes shut, determined to remain silent. “You’re one to talk, most of the noises I’ve heard tonight have come from your mouth, love,” you point out once you catch your breath. You squeeze his cock and he breathes out a deep moan, proving your point.

Cal chuckles at the exchange and Ash shoots him a glare, pulling him back over to him. “Laugh it up,” he smirks, kissing his neck to distract from his hand traveling to thumb over Cal’s nipple; Cal loudly gasps, body rigidly jolting like he’s been struck by lightning. He grabs Ash’s face with both hands and muffles his moans with an intense kiss.

You turn your focus back to Ash’s cock, knowing Calum is already dealing with a lot of stimulation from the nipple play. You bob your mouth on him a couple times, just because you feel like it and then work on building a steady rhythm with your hand. You bite back another moan when Cal’s hand moves down to cover yours, essentially helping you jerk Ashton off.

Despite their obvious attraction, your boyfriends have never gone beyond the occasional kiss during sex with you so tonight had already been a big step for them. You look up and see Cal, Ash’s lips firmly attached to his neck, looking curious but confident as he watches his hand move with yours. Your eyes meet and you nod, understanding; you drop your hand from Ash’s cock, leaning back to watch Cal seamlessly take over, continuing with the rhythm you started.

Ashton immediately reacts to the difference in touch: the unknown grip, the new sensation of rough calluses running over his shaft, the unfamiliar feeling of a hand much larger than yours stroking him. “Cal,” he shakily breathes, pulling back to look at him.

“Is this alright?” Calum whispers, hoping the quietness of his voice will mask his nervousness.

Ash closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cal’s, breathing deep, trying to ground himself, trying to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling in his brain right now.

“Don’t stop,” he states with certainty.

Cal’s hand swipes over the tip of Ashton’s cock, spreading around the precum he’s coaxed out, expertly keeping with the established rhythm. You watched Ash’s expression change from confusion to curiosity and now you see it switch to the confidence you’re used to seeing from him, especially in the bedroom; you see his hand fidgeting at his side moments before he clenches his jaw and reaches out to touch Calum’s cock. His strokes aren’t nearly as precise or measured as Cal’s are but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; Cal lets out a throaty sigh of his name and you swear it’s the most erotic thing you’ve witnessed yet.

The men lock their mouths into another heated kiss while they continue to explore pleasuring each other; with them distracted, you slide yourself up and off the couch, moving down to the floor to give them some space and to give you some space to spread out and really enjoy the sight before you. You tug at your nipples like Cal would and slide your hand down your stomach and into your panties to swirl your clit like Ash would. You miss their touch but you’re more than happy to wait your turn for it this time.

Your eyes don’t leave them for a second as you make slow, careful work of pleasing yourself. You watch as Ash boldly tugs at Cal’s jeans, trying to pull them down more; he gets them just below his ass and his free hand grips it tightly. You let out a little moan and Ashton reaches his hand out for you, finally realizing you’re no longer between them.

They pull out of their own little world, searching for you. Calum spots you on the ground first. “What’re you doin’ down there, darlin’?” He teases, moving down next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips while he undoes your bra; he quickly moves his mouth down to your tits, lavishing your nipples with much needed attention. “Just enjoying the show,” you confess, looking directly at Ash.

Ash moves from the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay in front of the fireplace. He discards his jeans before beckoning the two of you over to join him. You both crawl over to the blanket and before you get settled, Ash helps your boyfriend out of the rest of his clothes. He wraps a hand around Calum’s cock; he pauses to look at you briefly and then back over to the beautiful man naked in front of him. His tongue darts out of his mouth and before any of you can process it, he’s licking the tip of Cal’s cock.

“Oh,” Cal moans, tucking his fingers into Ash’s hair. Ashton, feeling emboldened by that response, wraps his lips around the head, continuing to test the waters. “Yeah,” Cal mutters. “That… that’s good.”

Ash’s other hand pushes up your thigh and you interlace your fingers with his. You watch as he tests circling his tongue around the tip before pulling back to turn his attention to you. He pulls your panties down, kissing your thighs and up over your lips, letting his tongue spread them so he can tease your clit. He pulls up as Calum settles in next to him, wasting no time in getting his turn at flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Been so good for us, think it’s time we repay you,” Ash murmurs, kissing up to your hip. He watches you tangle your fingers in Cal’s hair and groans when you do the same to him. His hand travels down between your thighs and he pushes two fingers into you. “Cal’s tongue feel good for you?”

You bite your lip, trying to hold in a moan. “Yes, love.”

Cal continues working over your clit while his hand reaches up your body, giving attention to your nipples once again; Ashton’s fingers continue pumping inside you, mouth settled against your jaw, unceasingly affirming his and Cal’s affection for you.

“So patient tonight, love,” he whispers, mouthing along your neck, careful not to leave any marks. “Lettin’ me and Cal play while you’re over here so wet and needy.”

You take a deep breath, overwhelmed at all of the sudden attention. “Wanted it for you, could tell you both needed it,” you admit, digging your nails into Ash’s arm as Cal’s lips enclose your clit and start sucking. “Didn’t mind watching either.”

Ashton grins and plants a sloppy kiss on you; he pulls away to lean down and run his hand softly through Cal’s hair before pulling him up from between your legs to kiss him passionately. Both men groan at the realization that Ash can taste your arousal on Cal’s lips; Ashton takes it a step further and removes his hand from your pussy, sinking his drenched fingers into Calum’s mouth. Cal hollows his cheeks and sucks Ash’s fingers deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, bobbing back and forth on them, wondering when he’ll get to give Ashton’s cock the same treatment.

For what feels like the hundredth time tonight, your jaw drops at the erotic sight before you and you reach out for one or both of your boyfriends to tend to you. Your head lolls back as you whine, “Please... babes… I need you so bad.”

Calum promptly pulls his mouth away with a lewd pop and lays on his side next to you. “Need you too, darlin’, you have no idea,” he murmurs as he grabs your hip, easily turning you to your side and slinging your leg over him. “Can’t remember the last time I went this long without having you.” He takes his cock in hand, running it up and down to coat it with your wetness before easing himself inside you, silencing your soft, relieved exhale with a kiss.

Cal softly rocks into you, sucking gently at your bottom lip, stroking your hair back with his hand; you feel Ashton lay down behind you and begin running his fingers down your back, quietly showing you his care while respecting the moment you and Cal are having, much like you respected their time together.

Your hand moves down to grab Cal’s ass, attempting to bring him even closer to you; you feel his muscles tensing and flexing under your hold as he pumps inside you and you bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out. You hear the slick sound of Ash’s hand working his cock as he watches you two together and you reach for him, wanting him near.

“I’m here, love,” he reassures you, nibbling at your ear, massaging over your breast. “You two look so fuckin’ good together, couldn’t help myself.” He extends his arm, reaching to squeeze Cal’s bicep.

Your hand searches behind you until it finds Ashton’s cock, throbbing against your ass; you give it a squeeze and he whimpers into your skin.

“Ash needin’ you too, baby?” Calum asks, voice scratchy with desire. “Know you’re gonna make him feel so good, just like you’re doin’ for me.” He gives you a couple more slow thrusts before he pulls out and helps you onto your other side where Ashton lays waiting.

You smile hazily at Ash as he lifts your leg over his hip and taps his cock against your clit. “So generous with your body, love,” he praises you, hissing as he slides into your wet heat. “Treatin’ us both so good tonight, thank you, baby.”

You caress his cheek as he starts slowly thrusting into you; you press your lips to his and you both lose yourselves in a slow, intimate kiss. Calum hangs back, watching you two communicate what you need to; when Ash breaks the kiss to moan into your mouth, Cal reaches over and begins to play with your breasts.

Ashton’s large hand grips your ass to pull you closer, getting a deeper angle that has you seeing stars. You twist your upper body toward Cal and he kisses you briefly before moving his lips back to your nipples. You push your hand down his body to find his cock, getting in a few strokes before he stops you. “Trust me, darlin’, I’m not needing any help right now.” His hand slips down your body to rub soft circles on your clit. “Let us focus on you.”

“Babes,” you sigh in the form of a soft moan, raspy as it leaves your lips. The sound is so sensual it causes Ash’s hips to lose rhythm and he lets go of your ass, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out.

“You gotta take Cal, baby, I need a minute,” he pants, clearly on the edge of losing it. He nuzzles his nose against yours, helping you turn back to your other boyfriend.

“Hey, darlin’,” Cal coos, grinning as he enters you again. You immediately pull him as close as possible.

“Want you both close,” you announce, looking over your shoulder at Ash. He scoots in against your back, kissing over your shoulders. You sigh, “Thank you.”

You give Ashton a short kiss before turning to press your face into Calum’s chest as he works his hips a little faster, harder. You feel a moan reverberating in Cal’s chest but it’s muffled when it spills from his lips; you look up to see him kissing Ash hungrily.

You moan, getting lost in your own world, letting Cal have your body, feeling his body on yours, Ashton’s body at your back, the strength in their frames as you lay between them.

Calum pulls out and turns you back towards Ash. Ashton is still breathing heavy and his kisses are needy, almost frantic, as he pushes into you. “I’m sorry, love, I’m s’close,” he chokes out. “Between you and Cal…”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Nothin’ to apologize for, love,” you murmur. “Want you to cum for me.”

His fingers dig in and hold on to your ass hard, pulling you tight against his body. “Cum for us, Ash,” Calum whispers as he slides his hand down to grip Ashton’s ass, causing Ash’s hips to stutter and jolt against you. You watch Ash pull on Cal’s neck so he can sink his teeth into Cal’s plump lower lip as he spills his cum into you, shuddering in your arms. You let out a loud moan and you all hold your breath waiting to see if it’s woken anyone up.

Once Ash comes down, he tenderly kisses you. “Love,” he murmurs. You give him a few more sweet kisses before you feel Calum’s eager fingers on your skin.

Ashton helps turn you around and his lips shower your shoulders and neck with affection as Cal sinks into you. He groans at the new sensation of Ash’s hot cum surrounding his cock, making you feel even more wet and warm to him.

Ash pushes his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit in time with Cal’s thrusts. “It’s your turn, love, been so good and selfless tonight. Let Cal feel you cum,” he coaxes. “Look at you, look at Cal, look at how good you feel to our boyfriend.”

Cal’s eyes are screwed shut, his lip between his teeth as he tries to hold in any noises. “Calum,” you moan softly. His eyes open to find yours and you lean in for a feverish kiss, a kiss that becomes all tongue as you work your body against him.

Ashton mutters “Fuck” behind you and Cal lets out a guttural moan as you start to squeeze around his cock. You whine helplessly, “I’m cumming.”

“I feel that… let it go,” Cal encourages. You press your face into his chest to quiet yourself and without thinking you start biting and sucking his skin. Ash keeps rubbing your clit through your orgasm until you gently push his hand away, too sensitive to let him continue.

When Ash pulls his fingers up, it’s immediately noticeable they’re covered in both your arousal and his cum that leaked out of you. As soon as that registers to Calum, he grabs for Ash’s hand and takes his fingers into his mouth again, cleaning and sucking them like before. Once he’s done, Ashton takes the opportunity to explore a little more, pumping his fingers, treating Cal’s mouth like he does your pussy.

You shift yourself slightly back, leaning more into Ash so you can watch Calum come undone. You feel his hips continue to drive his cock into you as you watch the obscene way Ash fingers his mouth. You could almost cum again from the visual alone.

“Gonna cum for us, baby?” You breathe, out of your mind with desire. Cal glances at you with a question in his eyes but you answer it before he has a chance to ask. “It’s OK, I want you to.”

Ashton pulls his fingers from Cal’s mouth and pushes your bodies tighter together. He wraps his hand around the back of Cal’s neck, thumb caressing his cheek. “Need you to cum for us, handsome.” And that seems to do it for him. Cal’s hips falter and he clings to you, groaning deeply as he pumps you with cum. It’s the first time you’ve ever let him cum in you and it couldn’t feel more right. His body is tense for a few more moments and then he relaxes, first pressing his lips to yours and then to Ashton’s.

“You’re gonna make a mess,” he chuckles as he gently pulls out.

“We’ve got plenty we can clean her up with,” Ash shrugs.

Cal considers that point and sits up, lifting your thigh to watch in awe as his cum - at least he assumes it’s his - starts to leak out of you. “Incredible,” he murmurs, leaning in, pressing kisses along your thigh.

Ashton sits up to join him and his eyes ping pong back and forth between watching you drip and watching Cal’s reaction to it. He swirls his fingers in the cum that’s now pooling on your thigh. He pulls back a little, drawing your and Cal’s attention. You watch in shock as he pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting all three of you together. He moans and repeats the action, only this time, pulling Calum in for a kiss, sharing the taste with him.

They break apart and the three of you smile at each other, basking in the intimacy of everything that’s just happened. Cal lays down next to you, stroking over your hair as Ash reaches for his shirt and cleans between your thighs. When he’s done, he curls up next to you and Cal kisses him and then you. “So lucky to have you both,” Cal murmurs.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ash smiles, grabbing Cal’s hand, interlacing their fingers and letting them rest on your hip.

“I hate that you have to go to bed alone after this,” you pout, kissing on Calum’s jaw.

“I’ll be just fine, this was worth it. Thank you both,” he whispers sincerely. He squeezes Ash’s hand and kisses your forehead.

You’re practically asleep, warm and naked, feeling safe with your loves when they finally decide it’s time for bed. The guys quickly pull their clothes back on and help you into yours. Ash takes the blanket to the laundry room while you put out the fire and turn off the Christmas tree lights. You hold their hands as you navigate the dark house, pulling them up the stairs.

You stop at the guest room to say goodnight to Cal. “You should come to bed with us,” you whisper.

Calum smiles at you but shakes his head. “I think we’ve already pushed our luck quite a bit tonight, darlin’.” He looks to Ash for backup.

“Your sister got her perfect engagement, we pulled off the world’s quietest threesome… we should take the win,” Ashton chuckles quietly.

You pout but know they’re right. Cal pulls you into him by your hips and kisses you, slow but passionate. “Get to bed, darlin’.”

You walk to your room and stand in the doorway, waiting for Ashton. You smile as you watch your boyfriends flirt, easily the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. Ash actively reaches out to pull Cal into a kiss and you decide it’s a moment for them; you lay in bed and close your eyes, letting the memories of the evening wash over you, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Ashton quietly enters the room, unsure if you’re awake; you feel the bed shift as he climbs in and you turn over to gaze at him dreamily. “How you feelin’, love?” You ask, carefully, wanting to encourage him to share with you without seeming like you’re pressing.

He lays on his side and gives you a loving, appreciative look. “Happy. Excited. Very, very grateful to have someone like you by my side,” he reflects, gently tracing where your t-shirt has lifted to expose your hip. “I know it’s taken me a while to kind of figure out what I need from this relationship… even back when it was just us, honestly. You’ve just always been so patient and open with me and I hope I’ve made clear how much I appreciate that. And you.”

You scoot in closer, resting your head on his pillow, your face inches from his. “Even before Cal happened, I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Ash. With me, without me… with me with someone else…” You both giggle and you peck his lips sweetly. “I’m glad you’re finding your place in all this. And I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you find it.”

You know it takes a lot for Ashton to share with you like this and you savor it when it happens. You lay yourself on his chest and he strokes your hair as you quietly talk some more. You’re starting to drift off to sleep when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You look up at Ash, concerned, before reaching for it.

“It’s Cal, asking if we’re awake?” You shrug, quickly responding that you are.

Seconds later, your bedroom door slowly opens and Calum carefully closes it behind him. Unlike the previous night, he doesn’t hesitate to help himself onto the bed and snuggle into your back, resting his hand on top of Ash’s on your hip.

“Couldn’t sleep. It just… I don’t know... didn’t feel right being without you both after that,” he explains, kissing your neck.

Light kisses and soft touches are exchanged between you all and then there’s a brief discussion about how long the cuddle session should be. You push to have Cal sleep in bed with you and Ash and though they’re reluctant at first, you eventually convince your boyfriends that the family will be none the wiser as long as you set an alarm to get him back to his room before everyone is up and around for Christmas morning.

Ashton untangles himself from you both to set both the alarm clock on the nightstand and the alarm on his phone, just to be safe. You turn towards Cal and peck his nose. “Feelin’ OK, bubba?”

He smiles, brushing your hair back. “Me? How are you? Tonight was kind of a lot. This week was kind of a lot, I feel like I haven’t checked in enough…”

“Bub, I’m so good,” you promise him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Ash… I get to wake up with you both on Christmas morning. It seems crazy to say but I actually think this all turned out perfectly.”

You feel Ash press himself tightly against your back, stretching his arms out to hug you both, sandwiching you between the two men. It’s sweet at first and then it quickly becomes silly and the three of you giggle quietly, giddy with exhaustion and affection.

“Plus, now everyone has an idea of what we're all like together so it won't come as too big of a shock when I post a picture of me kissing you both at midnight on New Year's Eve," you grin back and forth between the two.

Calum chuckles, "Oh is that the new plan?"

You wrap their arms tighter across you and contentedly say, "New year, new beginning. Let my sister have Christmas, New Year's will be ours."

Your words hang in the air as you all consider the weight of them. Ash breaks the silence by laughing to himself, causing both you and Cal to look at him with inquiry.

"Care to share?" You ask, using Cal's hand to playfully jab Ash's side, causing him to laugh more.

Ashton looks at you both and smirks, "I was just thinking… if tonight was Christmas sex at your family's house, the fuck are we gonna do to celebrate New Year's Eve at home?"

Calum snickers beside you, a naughty look on his face making you wonder what's running through his mind.

"Well," you start, playfully nipping under each of your boyfriends' jaws. "We've got a whole week to figure that out, now don't we?"

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

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[cassyapper]

thoughts on part 5 characters? especially part 5 pol 👀

OHHHH THANK U SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN <3 i will try to be brief (<- me, lying)

since u mentioned him in particular, lemme talk abt part 5 pol first (:

polnareff p5: i actually did like seeing him but i wish he was more relevant or at the veyr least we got to see him longer before he got nerfed by the second worst jojo villain. regardless of that tho i did like seeing how he matured even if it does make me sad cause you dont see any of his silliness/lightheartedness anymore..it's all serious and grim..): which i do mostly attribute to the fact we only see him in part 5 in the midst of a tense battle but still. i do think it goes to show pol lost some of the humor he found in the world...... ):

giorno: i understand why ppl have beef with him but i love giorno he is such a funny little guy <3 he's this insane teenager with a god complex but he's not an asshole about it like say his dad was. he's just very confident in his own abilities even when he has no experience (like when he fought bruno lmao). i do like the first half of giorno more than the second half tho if only cause the second half seemed to forget he was a kid and let him act as such. and to an extent i get that like gio is an abuse survivor ofc he's gonna act "mature for his age" but he still did that while being silly funny in the first half but in the second half they drained that away. honestly im sure this is more a david pro problem than a giorno problem im sure if i read the manga it'd be better. but as it stands this is it. anyway i love gio i think he's fun at least my perception of him

bruno: i do like bruno but he's not my favorite admittedly (not for any particular reason he just didnt scratch my brain the way other characters did). i do like him tho he feels very cautionary-tale to me...he has such a warped world view due to being involved in gang shit since he was a kid and it hurts ): you can see him try and save his past self in his early interactions w narancia...some part of him knows he was dealt and unfair card. but other than that tho he does deliberately lead ppl to the gang like fugo and abbachio (not necessarily to hurt them but really fucked up how some people he thinks are better than this life and some he drags down with him...) and i just think that's interesting to think about. he's not a saint but i think he thinks of himself as one or at least it's what he's trying to be. god his catholic guilt has gotta be nuts. he did love his team but i dont think bruno knows how to care for people...he's a soldier, a captain, it's what he's been for so long, i dont think he knows how to stop seeing everything in that lens (we esp see him struggle with this in trying to be a mentor figure for trish because he's used to having like boss authority over the people he mentors, but he doesnt have that hold over trish so he needs to learn how else he can guide her without relying on her Having to listen to him). it's so sad ):

abbacchio: i do not rlly think abt abbacchio i gotta be real. i dont lean one way or another. i think he can be very funny tho. i wish we saw more of his interactions with trish and narancia since theyre the two (besides bruno) he's clearly the softest for in the gang. also i do ship bruabba but i wish ppl would lay off the codependancy angle a bit...yes bruno is definitely abbacchio's crutch but i dont think he (abbacchio) would be happy about that, he hates that he forces bruno to care for him like a child and he hates that bruno is willing to feed that dynamic (not that bruno has like conscious malicious intentions behind that but. again he doesnt knw how else to help ppl without having some sort of authority over them and this dyanmic gives him that so). anyway abbacchio has potential to be the funniest gang member but it wasnt utilized in the story very well. sad!

mista: i also dont think about mista much i am not gonna lie. i dont rlly care abt him not by fault of the narrative he's just not the kinda character i fall for i guess.

narancia: fucked up meow meow! i love naranica he's such a funny guy. he's so needlessly violent and crazy but also he's very cheerful and silly it's so fun <3 his death was complete and utter bullshit. i love how everyone on the team + trish loves him so so much cause its representative of my feelings. he's just so loveable what with his absolute insanity. <3. i dont think narancia is a necessarily deep character but that's okay i dont think every character needs to be. it's enough that he's a funny crazy little guy who loves a good warm meal and swinging his pocket knife around <3 also he's a very loyal and kind friend. also congrats to narancia for having the only good localized stand name (lil bomber is sooo cute and fitting)

trish: TWISH MY BEST FRIEND TRISH so unpopular opinion she should've been the part 5 main character. i know it ruins the joestar bloodline thing but well then maybe they should've put giorno in her situation cause it was a great set up. at the very least she should've been the one to finish off diavolo not GER. anyway god i love her pink <3 anyway i love that she's a scared 15 year old but she's also a tiny bit vain and blunt and just gosh <3 points for depicting a 15 year old girl fairly decently esp in a shonen running in the 90s. she's very sympathetic i feel like u rlly feel for her. she just wants to be safe. she just wants the gang to be safe she didn't ask for them to die for her. she didn't want anyone to die for her. i think endlessly about her survivor's guilt and how she and polnareff bond over it. ugogugh. i love her stand too i really really really wish we got to see more of spice girls UGHH.

fugo: FUGO MY BEST ABSOLUTE FRIEND FUGO. i love fugo i have loved him since his lil giorno team up episode with man in the mirror i love him so bad and purple haze feedback really just sealed the deal god FUGO <3333333333 I LVOE YOU FUGO. FUCK. god idk i just love his duality a lot...he wants to learn how to be gentle but all he is is sharp corners and fire and angry angry angry angry at his family angry at bruno angry at himself angry but they're miles away form who he is can he really change enough? can he even change at all. also he loves bruno and he loves the team and he wants to be better for them but ssnjsjnsd;s; UOGUGHGHHHHH FUCK GOD AR EYOU KIDDING ME. i love purple haze and the whole conflict fugo has with him and how it relates to himself...also i love protecting my own experiences and . i guess trauma? for lack of better word i love projecting my own trauma and experiences onto him because. well. similar setups is all i wall say </3. anyway i love fugo i love that he returns to the team and fights for his redemption i love him i love the bonds he had with abbacchio/bruno/narancia/GIORNO. FUCK. i love him. he's my best friend.

diavolo/doppio: second worst jojo villain behind part 8's. i hate him he's so dreadfully fucking boring. the only reason he's not worse than part 8's villain is at least he was foreshadowed from the beginning. but he's just super lame and not interesting (like pucci) or fun to watch (like kira/dio). i don't even care about the endless death cycle because i do not care about him! not even in a love to hate him way! he does not matter to me. so fuckign stupid

most of la squadra i do not give a shit about but

risotto: i like him <3 i wish we got to see more of him. his stand was fucking awesome. he cared about his team so much ):

pesci: awesome guy. pretty cool. best la squadra member by far. his face off with bruno was awesome

okay I'm ending there cause this got long but thank u for asking dude! it means a lot <3

[riversofmars]

Answers at last! Well, I saw answers... :D

Chapter 7: So We Meet Again

The Library, 52nd Century

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?“ A male figure appeared in their midst. Dark hair and beard, stout frame, he took a twirl, looking around, delighted at the surprise and shock on everyone’s faces.

“It’s can’t be…“ River mumbled, trying to catch up with what was happening. How did he get in here? He was not part of the memory.

“It’s been a while, Professor Song.“ He turned to face her with a wide grin, baring his teeth.

“He’s not the Doctor, is he?“ Anita spoke slowly. She had learned enough about Time Lords during their extensive research to understand about regeneration and River had shown her pictures of all her husband’s faces. That man was not one of them and even on first impressions, he seemed in no way similar to the man she herself had met. He certainly didn’t look at River like someone would look at their wife, he looked at her like she was prey.

“The Doctor? Oh, don’t be ridiculous.“ He nearly burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing he had heard all day. “Been there, done that, just wasn’t my cup of tea.“ His voice turned to a snarl, it seemed to change ever so slightly; he shushed himself.

“No, this is another Time Lord.“ River said, balling her hands to fists, trying to maintain her composure.

“Of course you get it, you’re clever like that.“ He mused, tilting his head. “I’m difficult to forget, didn’t we have he best of times.“ He interrupted himself, his voiced higher and more excitable. He smirked with a mad sort of glee in his eyes. “No, no, shut up, it’s my turn now!“ His voice turned normal as he snapped angrily. Anita and CAL exchanged confused and worried glances, fearing they might be dealing with a mad man. River, however, already knew for a fact that they were:

“You’re the Eleven.“ She circled around the room slowly, coming to stand protectively in front of CAL and Anita. She didn’t know whether he was really here or just a projection, but she couldn’t take the risk. She had to keep them safe. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

“The Thirteen, actually, but who’s counting.“ He retorted graciously and took a little bow.

“Must be getting pretty crowded in that head of yours.“ River hummed and in response, another personality emerged:

“Long time no see, Ms. Song.“ His face contorted into a grin.

“Hello again, Nine.“ River remained calm. She knew it was the best way to deal with them.

“I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure.“ His voice turned higher, almost feminine.

“Twelve?“ River could only guess, as it was the regeneration of his she hadn’t met before.

“Shut up, the lot of you.“ The Thirteen regained control of his personalities. “Sorry, this is not how I was going to introduce myself, best foot forward and all that, but they’re just so excited to see you again. The Six, in particular, is very eager but we’ll save that for later.“ He smiled apologetically.  

“What are you doing here? How did you get in?“ River decided to ignore the games and cut right to the chase. She glanced to CAL, hoping she was paying attention. If they found out how he got in, they surely would be able to get rid of him as well. She would have to regain control of the computer.

“Seven hacked the system, child’s play really; and now I can see why.“ He smirked at CAL who took a fearful step back and Anita put a protective arm around her. “I’m not really here, of course, just a projection, but I liked the personal touch. Better than talking to a screen, you know?“ River felt a little better for knowing he wasn’t actually part of the artificial world of the Library core but hacking the system was just as bad. Who knew what else he was planning on doing?

“So you’re responsible for this?“ Anita concluded gesturing around to the woman and child that had stopped moving. She hadn’t really followed who exactly he was but it was was blatantly obvious that this scary vision was his doing.

“It’s from the Matrix.“ River stated and the Thirteen grinned:

“Indeed. I didn’t really have the means to play it. I needed a bigger computer, something able to convert it. And I needed someone who’d be able to interpret it.“

“So you used the Library, a computer big enough to handle Matrix data.“ River was beginning to understand. They weren’t her memories that had bled into the artificial reality. It was data the Thirteen had fed into the system. In turn it had helped her unlock her own memories of what she’d seen in the Matrix. “What is that memory? What’s the story behind it.“ She asked, drawing his attention back as he seemed momentarily distracted. Not by his other personalities, for once, but seemingly by something outside.

“A missing puzzle piece.“ He answered briefly and gave a dismissive wave with his hand. “Now we best get going.“

“What?“ Anita asked confused while River remained silent, her mind racing. What was he planning? She knew better than to underestimate the renegade Time Lord.

“The shadows will be back in a moment.“ He explained in an off-hand sort of way. “Get your coat, Professor Song. Oh wait, you haven’t got a body to put it on.“ He laughed, then disappeared.

“River…“ CAL reached out for River’s hand but she grasped into thin air, River was gone as well.

——

Glasgow, 2021

“So this is where you went once the Daleks were gone?“ Ryan asked Jack as they started walking further into the underground building.

“Had to go say hi to Gwen here and she filled me in on what’s been going on. I’ve been out in the universe too long it seems. Time to look after the home front.“ Jack explained with a determined nod and Kate smiled:

“We’re glad to have you, Captain.“

“How many people have you got here.“ Graham looked around, marvelling at the size of the place. It could have housed a hundred easily and there was an erie quality to it with how quiet and seemingly empty it was.

“Not as many as you’d hope. Friends of the Doctor’s it’s quite an exclusive club, but it’s not quantity, it’s quality.“ Kate answered leading the way.

“So how do you know the Doctor?“ Ryan asked Gwen who was walking alongside him.

“Only met him briefly, during one Dalek invasion or another. Honestly, it all blends together.“ She chuckled.

“Ms. Cooper is one of Torchwood’s finest.“ Kate interjected and Gwen sighed:

“And only remaining member…“

“Hey!“ Jack took offence and elbowed her.

“You don’t count, you’re off doing other stuff all the time.“ Gwen slapped his shoulder affectionately and carried on to explain: “I have been trying to rebuild the Torchwood Three hub as well, seeing as it’s closer to home, but it’s slow progress.“

“Torchwood, like UNIT, is like an agency, is it? To ward of aliens?“ Graham asked, trying to wrap his head around it.

“In a nutshell, yes.“ Kate nodded as she lead them down some stairs. “If you come through here, I will introduce you to the rest of the team.“ The steps opened up into a large room. “I know it’s late but they have been waiting up for you.“ They reached a big communal living and working area. There were several tables, desks, computers and such and amongst it all: four people.

“Mr. O’Brien, Mr. Sinclair, let me introduce Dr. Martha Jones and Mr. Mickey Smith, two of UNIT’s finest field agents and former travelling companions of the Doctor’s.“ Kate gesture towards a couple who were lounging on a sofa, currently devouring a Chinese take away with great enthusiasm.

“Nice to finally meet you.“ Martha smiled at them warmly and Mickey, his mouth full of food, couldn’t speak and just gave a wave with his chopsticks. They got up to shake hands as the group approached.

“Likewise, I guess.“ Graham managed an awkward smile as well. During their travels with the Doctor, they had never really stopped to think how many more people had taken trips in the TARDIS before them. It was strange to think that there were other people out there who would understand what it was like, experiencing the vastness of the universe like they had.

“And these are the Osgoods, the scientific hearts and minds of UNIT.“ Kate carried on and gestured to two women, apparently twins, who were sharing a work station. They simultaneously looked up and smiled in greeting.

“I’m Ryan, this is my granddad Graham.“ Ryan introduced them. “We don’t usually do, like, formal…“ He looked around the room awkwardly. This was a lot more official than he was used to. “Like if you don’t mind, first names are fine.“ Graham nodded in agreement.

“Petronella.“ One to the Osgoods smiled.

“Petronella.“ The other Osgood smiled.

“So… you two have the same name? How do we keep you apart?“ Graham asked, confused, wondering what their parents had possibly been thinking.

“You don’t.“ Kate answered in amusement. “That’s the whole point.“

“Right.“ Ryan decided it was best to just accept that. They had just been recruited into a secret organisation to fight of extraterrestrial threats and entered what looked like a very fancy underground bunker… identical twins with the same names really wasn’t top of the weird-list right now.

“Care for some Chinese?“ Mickey offered. They had ordered way too much as usual.

“Don’t mind if we do.“ Graham grinned since they hadn’t had time to eat before setting of on the long drive. He had been eyeing it up, hoping that was where the evening would be going.

“Ma’am, if we might have a word…“ One for the Osgoods demanded Kate’s attention as everyone else settled down to eat.

“What is it?“ The UNIT chief asked and walked around the desk to be able to look at their computer screens.

“We have found another two bodies.“ The other Osgood answered, pointing something out on the computer and Kate frowned:

“Same MO?“ She asked, leaning closer.

“We fine-tuned the algorithm, running through police data bases and found two matches.“ Osgood confirmed.

“Where?“

“Greater London.“ The other Osgood answered. “Pulled out of a lake. It was fortunate that a couple was walking nearby and spotted movement by the water. Otherwise they wouldn’t have been found for weeks probably.“

“Captain?“ Kate looked up to Jack who was currently recounting to Gwen, Martha and Mickey how he had met Ryan and Graham. “Two for pick up.“ She announced.

“On it, will be back in a flash.“ He gave a dazzling and apologetic smile to the others and came to join Kate and the Osgoods. “Just tell me which morgue they’re in and you’ll have them on your slab momentarily.“ He looked at the screen and skimmed the report.

“So… not just people disappearing from time, murders too?“ Graham asked, listening in.

“This is not your garden variety homicide, I’m afraid, Mr. O’Brian.“ Kate retorted thoughtfully. “You’ll see when the Captain returns with the bodies.“

Jack gave a nod and engaged his Vortex Manipulator.

——

Orbit around the Library, 52nd Century

“Here we go.“ Jenny slipped her hand into her wife’s. She had a bad feeling about this but it couldn’t be helped. They had come out of hyper speed a few minutes ago and had fallen into orbit around the Library.

“A whole planet full of books?“ Yaz couldn’t help but marvel at the sheer size of it. The idea of having every book ever written together in one place was overwhelming and beautiful.

“And shadows that can kill…“ Dorium couldn’t help but point out. The idea that a world so beautiful was forever lost made Yaz’s heart feel heavy. What a waste.

“Right, here’s what we’re going to do: your UV grenades, Strax: our best bet would be to send one down ahead of us.“ Vastra looked to her butler who grinned with excitement as he proudly presented the grenades. “We arm ourselves to the teeth with torches and such. We won’t have to stay long. Just contact the Professor, ask our questions, fill her in, and be on our way.“ Vastra gave her wife’s hand a reassuring squeeze and looked around the room into determined faces. “Strax, Jenny and I will go.“

“I want to come, too!“ Yaz insisted immediately, she thought herself just as capable as any of them and she didn’t want to be left behind.

“That’s not part of the plan.“ Vastra shook her head.

“I have been in tight spots with the Doctor as well, I can handle myself.“ Yaz retorted, frustrated.

“I don’t doubt that but someone needs to teleport us back. Mr. Maldovar sadly won’t be able to.“ Vastra pointed out. She had no doubts about Yaz’s ability to hold her own but they needed someone to stay behind. She refused to be split up from her wife and Strax was best placed to handle the weapons equipment. It was the logical solution. “We all have a job to do and we need you to keep us safe from up here.“ She carried on to explain.

“Fine.“ Yaz huffed after brief consideration. “Doesn’t mean I like it though.“ She could see her point but she still felt like she was being sidelined.

“We will be back in no time.“ Vastra assured her.

“Right, let’s get this over with… before I change my mind.“ Jenny sighed feeling anxious. She ran her hand along the hilt of her sword despite knowing it would be useless against shadows.

“Oh, well that’s a surprise.“ Dorium pipped up, drawing everyone’s attention.

“What is it?“ Vastra frowned, confused.

“There is an incoming transmission! Someone in that Library is trying to reach out.“ Dorium explained quickly. He closed his eyes, trying to focus with the help of the communications chip connected to him.

“How do they even know we’re here?“ Vastra asked, worried. That didn’t feel right.  

“Beats going amongst the shadows, doesn’t it.“ Jenny pointed out and Strax huffed in disappointment:

“I have been looking forward to this for hours…“

“Put it on screen.“ Vastra ignored his complaint and turned to the large screen at the front of the ship. Yaz turned Dorium’s box around so he could see as well.

“River! River! Where are you!“ A small girl appeared on the screen, looking distraught. She couldn’t be older than ten years old, taking everyone by surprise. “Who are you?“ She demanded to know before any of them could get over their shock. Her eyes jumped between all of them. Her message clearly hadn’t been meant for them.

“I’m Madame Vastra, these are Jenny Flint, Strax, Yasmin Kahn and Dorium Maldovar. We mean you no harm.“ Vastra raised her hands appeasingly, trying to reassure her. What was a little girl doing in the Library? And why was she looking for River Song? “You were calling for River, I can only presume you mean Professor Song, we’re here to talk to her.“ Vastra carried on, hoping to explain and gain her trust. She seemed scared.

“You’re too late.“ The girl sobbed, getting more upset.

“What?“ Yaz asked, with a frown. They all exchanged confused glances.

“She just left, I was trying to reach her but it drains the power, so much energy…“ The screen flickered. There was a blip in the transmission, it wasn’t stable.

“Hang on, hang on, you’re in the computer?“ Vastra asked to clarify.

“I am the computer.“ The girl answered, taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She was not as little as she looked. “I’m CAL.“

“And Professor Song, she’s not with you anymore?“ Jenny deduced and her heart sank. This was the one eventuality they had not been prepared for.  

“She was taken.“ CAL confirmed, nodding, wiping her tears away.

“By whom?“ Vastra gripped the back of the pilot’s chair and dug her claws into the fabric. Wherever they turned, it seemed as though they were one step behind.

“A Time Lord.“ CAL answered, after brief consideration, seemingly deciding to trust them.

“What did he look like? Did he give a name?“ Yaz asked quickly.

“He called himself the Thirteen.“ The girl said quickly, as the transmission stalled again. “I’m sorry, I can’t maintain this much longer. Why are you looking for River?“

“We’re friends of the Doctor’s. There are some terrible things going on out in the universe and we need to talk to her.“ Vastra rushed to explain.

“Please find her, he… “

The connection broke and for a moment, there was stunned silence.

“How is that possible?“ Yaz turned to the others, slowly finding her voice again. “You can’t just, like, download a consciousness onto a USB stick or something…“

“Don’t underestimate Time Lord technology…“ Vastra mused, mulling over what they had learned. This was far worse than facing the Vashta Nerada. They had fallen another step behind in a race in which the goal posts seemed to keep moving.

“We need to find her.“ Jenny said, shaking her head to herself. If only they had been a little earlier, they could have prevented this.

“Who’s the Thirteen?“ Yaz looked around the room, hoping for an explanation. Was this another of the Doctor’s enemies she didn’t know about?

“Doesn’t mean anything to me either, I was hopeful you might have come across them?“ Vastra retorted with a frown as they exchanged confused glances. They had each assumed the other would have the answers but the alias was familiar to any of them.

“Oh no…“ Dorium mumbled, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Can you shed some light on this, Mr. Maldovar?“ Vastra asked, turning his box around to face them again.

“I’ve heard of a Time Lord that goes my numerical designations… The Nine, the Ten, the Eleven… depending on which regeneration he is on…“ He answered slowly. The reluctance in his voice gave them all pause.

“Stands to reason this is a new regeneration then?“ Yaz nodded, relieved that they weren’t completely in the dark after all.

“Why change the name though with every regeneration? Must be quite… disorienting, mustn’t it?“ Jenny asked.

“He is a very unique case…“ Dorium hummed thoughtfully.

“How so?“ Vastra could already tell she wouldn’t like the answer but she asked anyway.

“From what I have heard, he suffers from a strange affliction… called regenerative dissonance. While the Doctor and other Time Lords retain a sense of self and just change their appearance, he becomes a new person every time and when he regenerates, the other selfs are still present.“ Dorium revealed. He had never actually met them but he had heard enough stories to make sure he never would.

“Like a schizophrenic?“ Yaz asked, unsettled. That didn't sound like the kind of person they wanted to be dealing with.

“Anything else you can tell us, Mr. Maldovar?“ Vastra asked and Dorium gave a wary smile:

“He is a thief, a killer and utterly mad.“

——

The TARDIS

“Do you always leave the door open like that? Anyone could wander in.“ The Doctor found the Master leaning against the console as she reached the control room. Dark hair and beard, stout frame, he hadn’t regenerated, just looked a little worse for wear.

“Master…“ Her voice was barely above a whisper. All sorts of emotions boiled up in her: Disbelief at finding him alive. Worry for having him inside her TARDIS. Hate for all the things he had put her through.

“Hello, Doctor.“ He smirked pushing off the console to step closer. “Nice of you to finally show up.“

“How are you not dead?“ It was the most prominent question on the Doctor’s mind.

“Dying is for other people, dear.“ The Master laughed at how ridiculous that notion was.

“How did you survive the death particle?“ She pressed through gritted teeth as they started circling each other slowly. She was assessing her option for subduing him.

“Did you really think the Cyberium would let its host die?“ The Master’s grin was patronising, as if the answer had been obvious.

“Is it still inside you?“ The Doctor hadn’t even thought about the Cybermen AI that resided inside the Master. She had assumed it dealt with, just like the Master themselves but she should have known they wouldn’t be that easily destroyed.

“Nah… Fizzled out.“ He gave a dismissive wave with his hand. “The effort of creating a force field to protect me was a bit much… Plus, I expelled it and electrocuted it until it stopped moving. I was getting fed up of sharing my memory space.“ He snickered and the Doctor couldn't help but feel a little relieved; one thing she didn’t have to deal with at least.

“You’ve been here this entire time?“ She questioned.

“Where was I gonna go? I destroyed everything! No TARDISes, no space ships left… I did start fixing up a TARDIS but turns out your death particle wiped out the organic components in there as well. I’d have to grow a new one but where to start when every living thing has been destroyed!“ He started rambling in a maniacal sort of way, snapping with increasing anger.

“How long has it been?“ The Doctor asked, hoping he had at least suffered in the meantime. She wasn’t proud of it but after everything he had done to her, she felt he deserved it.

“Oh… a few years, blink of an eye. Ten, twenty? Not sure. Anyway, nice of you to turn up.“ He smirked and his eyes flickered to her reaching for something on the console. “Oh no, you don’t!“ He snapped and pointed the Doctor’s own sonic at her. That’s when she remembered leaving her coat; what a stupid thing to do. And to leave the door unlocked… “So why are you here, Doctor?“ He asked as she raised her hands appeasingly.

“To see if you’re still alive.“ She answered slowly.

“Well I am. What difference does it make to you?“ He snarled.

“And you haven’t left Gallifrey?“ She carried on, hoping to at least get her answers.

“I already told you, are you going soft in the head?“ He snapped.

The Doctor remained silent, unsure how to respond. Should she believe him? Did he have reason to lie? But why would he be back here if he had managed to escape in the meantime?

“And what’s this, Doctor?“ The Master demanded her attention again and held out another item he had found in the pocket of her coat: the green prayer leaf.

“Give that back.“ The Doctor exclaimed, quick to anger. She tried to snatch it off him but he pulled away, putting the sonic between them again.

“Oh, is it personal by any chance?“ He hummed, delighted.

“Give it here.“ The Doctor’s voice turned low and threatening. In her mind, she ran through the possibilities of what the Master could do with her sonic in here. There was so much sensitive technology, a blast at the wrong thing and they could either be thrown into the vortex or explode.

“A prayer leaf from the Gamma Forests if I’m not mistaken… traditional gift for a child… tell me, Doctor, are congratulations in order?“ The Master was quick on his feet as always.

“That’s none of your business.“ The Doctor bit back.

“I take that as a yes. But where is the little devil? And where is the wife?“ He asked feigning surprise. “I presume it is the Professor’s child, isn’t it? Not a little bastard born out of wedlock?“

“Hand that over.“ The Doctor demanded again, holding her hand out.

“No, I think I’ll keep it for the time being. Return it to the little one myself… Like Maleficent taking a gift to little Aurora. Why don’t we go see them.“ He suggested circling around towards the console but the Doctor didn’t move away, instead she stepped right up to him. “Come on, Doctor, I know how much you like your Disney movies. That was funny.“

“Where is he?“ She demanded to know, ignoring his giggling.

“Who?“ The Master frowned.

“My son!“ The Doctor practically yelled, losing her temper at last.

“Ohhh so he is missing? Let me guess, someone took him while you weren’t looking?“ The Master grinned and the Doctor couldn’t tell whether he was pretending not to know anything or if he really didn’t. “Was he getting ice cream across the street and a stranger snatching him away?“

“Don’t play dumb with me, Dorium saw you, you have something to do with this!“ The Doctor wasn’t thinking now. Anger and pain were overshadowing her rational thoughts.

“Dorium? Doesn’t ring a bell…“ The Master shrugged, unimpressed.

“You told him about the Timeless Child, that’s how this whole thing started!“ The Doctor yelled and gave him a shove.

“The Timeless Child? Why would I tell anyone about that dirty secret? Give you all that power? Elevate you? I don’t think so, that secret died with the Time Lords and it’ll die with you.“ The Master spat, suddenly furious as well. They were done doing their dance and playing games.

“You and me are the only people who know about it and I sure as hell haven’t told anyone!“ The Doctor snarled stepping into his personal space again. She wasn’t scared of him anymore. He had no power over her.

“Why would I tell anyone?“ The Master seemed genuinely disbelieving of her accusations. “I killed everyone that could possibly have known about it. And I’m gonna kill you, too.“ He jabbed his finger at her.

“You just try.“ The Doctor pressed through gritted teeth. “Where is my son?!“ She shoved him again and he stumbled backward.

“I haven’t got the faintest idea.“ The Master laughed and the Doctor could tell he was speaking the truth. It threw her for a moment, until a more horrifying idea occurred to her: What if she was just enabling this whole series of events to start? What if she was the reason the Master managed to get off Gallifrey? What if this was how he found out about her child, about Dorium, about the whole thing?

So, just to clarify, the Thirteen (well their previous regenerations), plays a huge part in the Eighth Doctor's audios but you really don't have to know them to (hopefully) follow this story. I fully intend to write it like he's a new character and weave all the information necessary into the plot as everyone else, the Paternoster Gang in particular, learn about him. Originally, I intended to just use Time Lord OCs but as I thought about it, I realised how pointless that would be seeing as there are so many interesting Time Lords in the extended canon. So, if anything is difficult to follow, please let me know! <3

[earthingoddity]

so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine

Introduction: ~7,600 words

mat barzal series

summary: A lot changes in ten years, and a lot changes when someone grows used to having constant attention, fans, and fame- so surely the boy you knew back then was long gone. Even if you had been the closest of friends that one month back in 2008, there was no way he remembers you, or even wants to talk to you anymore...

an: Here it finally is!!! I know, I know, it's super long. I was gonna split it up, but it made more sense to keep the intro in one part for the backstory and setting up the main plot and then have the rest of the story on the beach. I really hope this comes together like I want it to!

From the moment you first saw him, you knew you were going to be best friends; but what you could never know, at only nine years old, was that you were going to fall head over heels in love with him one day.

Looking back now, he was adorable as a child, but that wasn’t what your little nine-year-old mind was thinking at the time. All you were focused on back then was the sheer awesomeness of that sandcastle he was building and the overwhelming amount of loneliness that was overtaking you on what was supposed to be a fun, month-long family vacation. He was just a boy, caked in sand from crawling around on his hands and knees to construct what you thought back then was the most complex structure of architecture in existence, and you were just a girl, your desperation for a friend to play with outweighing your shyness. Your parents seemed too busy with the new babies to pay attention to you, so you had to find someone else to hang out with, and here was this boy. You had approached him hesitantly, just really wanting something to do and someone to play with other than your annoying siblings, hoping that he wouldn’t turn you away.

“Did you make that?” Your first words to him were spoken shyly, hesitant, and had him looking up at you, squinting from the sun through his dark locks of hair.

“Yeah.”

“All by yourself?” He nodded again, looking proud. “It’s awesome!”

“Thanks!” He glanced back to his work for a second before pushing himself to his feet and offering you a sand bucket. “You wanna help?”

“Yes, please.”

“Cool.” He smiled brightly, showing off a missing tooth, and you smiled back, it was impossible not to with how full of sunshine this boy seemed to be. You followed him out towards the water to scoop up some wet sand. “I’m Mat.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

It was really that simple to become friends. You soon came to find that Mat was really funny, one of the funniest people you’d ever met- and still to this day you couldn’t forget how green his eyes sparkled in the sunlight while he was laughing, even if he was just laughing at his own silly jokes. The two of you slaved away at building your sandcastle in the hot sun and laughing at each other’s jokes for what seemed like hours before your parents came over to find you playing with a new friend. Your parents and his talked- about nothing you cared about at that age- while you and Mat sat with your feet in the water, eating ice pops and getting sunburned without a care in the world.

You still thought back to that month to this day. It was still one of your happiest memories: those hot watermelon and ice pop summer days giving you sticky faces and hands and sunburnt skin, eating ice cream on your tenth birthday and skipping along the pier next to him with your moms chatting behind you, collecting shells and messing with crabs together, being splashed with seawater and laughing even though you wanted to be mad at him. That was your happy place.

One conversation you remember distinctly from later that month was when you and Mat were sitting on the beach, sifting through the sand and collecting shells. Well, you were the only one actually collecting shells; Mat thought it would be funny to sit there and throw little crustaceans at you and make you shriek. Eventually, a hush had fallen over the two of you, and Mat spoke up. “I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

“The what?” Mat laughed at you, but you genuinely didn’t know what he was talking about. You laugh at yourself today, looking back.

“Do you know what hockey is?”

“Duh. My dad watches it.”

“I like to play hockey. I’m going to as a job one day.”

“That sounds cool!” Your young mind couldn’t even comprehend having any adult job, let alone knowing at this age what you want to do for the rest of your life Obviously, Mat was a boy who had plans. “It looks dangerous, though, do you get hurt?”

“I don’t really get hurt much.”

“I bet you’re good at it, then.”

“I am!” You smiled and laughed with Mat and leaned over your pile of shells to hug him, the deepest form of showing affection you knew at that point.

“I’ll come to see you play one day. I promise.”

Remember when life was so simple that a sandcastle was all that was needed to spark the beginning of a wonderful friendship, even if it only lasted a month? Remember when we didn’t have to worry about grades and work and money and taxes? Sometimes you wished you could take yourself back to that month, so you could have a distraction. You’ve been looking for a distraction like Mat had been all your life- while your parents fought from the other room, while you stressed over tests in school, during heartbreak after heartbreak, while you dealt with pressure taking standardized tests or getting your first job, or moving to New York City alone only weeks shy of your 20th birthday during the summer before you started college. Every now and then you would forget about that summer, but the moment you’d stress over something, your mind just drifted off and daydreamed of that lighthearted smile, and those shining green eyes, and you hoped he was happy wherever he was.

Mat.

Damn it, you would have tried years ago to google him or something if you knew his last name, or even where he lived. Unfortunately, those aren’t topics of interest to children, so they never popped up in your conversation, and neither your mom or dad seemed to care enough to remember what they talked about with his parents, probably too busy fighting all the time, you mused.

The fall after you’d moved to New York for college, your roommate Amy, who was extremely welcoming and always made you feel at home, decided to introduce you to the sports teams of the city in an effort to get you out of your apartment and away from your work. It was just your luck, you realized later, that she was especially into hockey. You were vaguely familiar with hockey, your dad used to be a huge hockey fan in your youth, but stopped many years ago in the midst of your parent’s marriage practically falling apart. Now he only watched it occasionally, a few years behind on who was up-and-coming. “Hey, might as well learn the sport. Maybe one day you’ll reconnect with that boy from your long-ago summer romance!” She spoke teasingly, lightheartedly, always loving to hear the sweet story of your childhood best friend who had slipped away and may have disappeared forever. She was always one for cliches. You had told her many things about your time with Mat, but never used his name; no, that felt too personal, as if he was a secret for only you to know about.

“Oh, come on, Ames!” You laughed, but you couldn’t help but hope. “We were, like, ten! I don’t think that qualifies as romance.”

“Maybe not, but the way you describe him… If you would’ve met in your teens, that story would have ended with some cute, awkward first kisses.” She loved a good love story, and you smiled and shook your head. Yeah, honestly, you wish you’d known him later in your life.

“Yeah, maybe.”

So, eventually, she took you to an Islanders game, letting you borrow a blue hoodie of hers from her large collection of NHL merchandise so that you would look like more of a fan. You sat through the game with her, excited and interested and eager to learn as she kept pointing things out to you to help you understand the game. Despite it being an NHL game, you hadn’t thought of the boy that sparked your interest in the sport all night, until, about halfway through the game, you saw a name mentioned overhead.

Mathew Barzal.

You knew it was nothing. Literally nothing. There are plenty of other people named Mathew, idiot. But you couldn’t help the soft spark of memories in you. You pushed it out of your mind and went back to the game, even though something, just something was nagging away in your head. When you looked up to the screen above the ice, you caught a glance of the name again. Mathew, spelled with one ‘T’.  A vivid memory pops to your head- you and Mat tracing your names and other words into the sand with sticks, just for fun, because that’s what entertains a ten-year-old apparently.

“I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

Mathew. One ‘T’. NHL. You knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, plenty of people probably spelled it that way, and you were probably grasping at straws, but hey what were the odds? A hockey player, Mathew. If only you could get a good look at the guy. Or… or something. You probably wouldn’t even recognize someone after ten years of not seeing them; you could hardly recognize ten-year-old you in photos! In your head, Mat was still eleven years old. Honestly, was there even a way to figure out if it was him or not? Ask him if he happened to meet a girl on a family vacation a decade ago? Yeah, and when would you get the chance to ask a professional athlete such personal questions?

...Well, tonight, apparently.

As you left your seats after the game, everyone happy and celebratory after a win, you almost had a heart attack when Amy grabbed your arm and shrieked. “Oh my God, oh my God, (Y/N)!” She pointed to her phone in shock, and you still couldn’t tell what she was reacting to, but calmed down, realizing it probably wasn’t life-threatening.

“Holy shit, Ames, are you trying to kill me?”

“Listen, listen.” She calmed down a bit, letting out a small laugh. “So let's just say someone I know, knows somebody,” You laughed a bit, knowing this was gonna be some new interesting gossip. “And they know where the players are going out to celebrate tonight.” She sent you a suggestive, winking look.

“No way. You want to go and… interact with them? Professional athletes? Us, talking to professional athletes?”

“I mean, yeah. Are you telling me you don’t want to flirt with a hockey player?” She saw the look on your face and shook her head. “Or! Or not even flirt. Just talk. Get a picture with them, or a signature? Or just let me talk and you can wave to them. I can promise you they’re all pretty nice to their fans.”

“You sound as if you’ve talked to them all before.”

“No, only one. And it was more of me talking and him saying ‘cool, cool.’ while he signed my jersey. But I always hear that they’re really sweet.”

“Well,” you thought for a moment. It would be pretty freaking cool to try and befriend a professional athlete, or even just pretend for a night that you knew them. You definitely don’t go out enough, you hadn’t really been to many bars- you had only turned 20 a few months ago and couldn’t drink yet, so what was the point? In fact, you’d barely left your tiny apartment since moving, and even though you weren’t one for bars or clubs, you were in New York City, for fuck’s sake! Might as well go out and live, right? “Alright, let’s go. But if we actually see them, you have to be my wing-woman.”

“Oh, hell yes.”

The bar you were going to wasn’t far from the rink, and according to a google search of the place, it didn’t seem too sleazy or gross- that was good. Of course it’s not sleazy, why would someone as rich as a bunch of professional athletes go to a sleazy bar? Because it was only a little further than where you had parked, the two of you walked together. As it settled in your head that you might actually see professional hockey players tonight, you started feeling a little nervous. Partially because you’ve never been in a place with that many famous people at once, but also because of the name that was still circling your brain.

“Hey, so I’ve had something on my mind because of this game.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re gonna think I’m completely crazy, but listen.” She looked up with a face, ready for your story.

“Give it to me.”

“Okay, so... this kid I told you about, that I met that summer? His name was Mathew. Spelled with only one ‘T’, I remember that clearly.” You laughed a bit, wondering how crazy you must have sounded to her. “And he told me he was gonna play in the NHL, right?”

After a second, you saw it click in her head. “No fuckin’ way. You think it’s Barzal?”

“Ames, I don’t know, I don’t know! There are plenty of Mathews who play hockey, right? But maybe he doesn’t even play hockey after all. Kids aren’t great at choosing their career paths, ya know? I just never learned his last name. I need his age or... something to identify him with.”

“He’s… like, 21, I think.”

“Yeah?” You paused. Why was this all actually matching up? “Yeah. So ten years ago he would’ve been eleven.”

“Holy shit, hoooolllly shit.”

“But I’m sure there are plenty of Mathews who are 21 right now.”

“Girl, holy shit. Look up a picture of him right now. If you had a summer romance with Barzy, I need to know immediately.”

“Okay, it still wasn’t really a romance, but same.” You pulled out your phone and typed his name into the search bar. “I don’t even know if I’ll recognize him after ten years.” Immediately after you opened the images tab, the first thing you noticed about him was the hair. Dark and thick and kind of wavy and looking extra soft in a few pictures, it did remind you of your Mat- whose hair had been full of sand and salt water and kept drying softly as he ran around in the sunlight- but you still couldn’t be 100% positive. It was after you scrolled past all the on ice pictures where you couldn’t really see his face well behind the helmet and found a picture of him- unstaged and off the ice and genuinely smiling- that you felt a strange spark ignite inside of you. Sunshine. His smile felt like sunshine. Maybe. Just, maybe.

Scrolling through other photos, your eyes caught one in particular. You opened a close up of his face and zoomed in a tiny bit more. Those eyes, shining all pretty and green in the sunlight. You could never forget them- not after ten years, and not after a hundred. His eyes, his chin, even the size of his goddamn nostrils, all the tiny, stupid details in his face… was this actually him? “Biiiitch....” Amy leaned closer to you and bumped shoulders with you in acknowledgment.

“What? Do you recognize something?”

“Kinda, yeah. It’s so weird.”

“So you think it’s seriously him?”

“I don’t know. But the last picture of his smile, I’d recognize that smile anywhere and… this. His eyes- that eye color…. I remember thinking it’s so pretty… even his fucking nostrils, Amy!” The fact that you took note of his nostrils might have been funny at another time, but you were currently having a crisis as to whether or not you were once friends with fucking Mathew Barzal.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re kinda big…”

“I… I don’t want to say that I think it’s him, that might just be me being too hopeful. But...”

“Holy shit. You might have been Barzy’s friend at one point. You could reconnect with him, and we could hang out with the players!” You shot her a look, and she knew to calm down. “Sorry. Alright, whether or not it was him, I’m still gonna get you to talk with him tonight.” You hadn’t realized that you had basically arrived at the bar, and you felt your heart start pumping you full of nerves as she opened the door. “You have my word.”

The bar wasn't too crazy- there was music playing overhead and that weird hazy bar feeling lingered in the air. Immediately you could see that there was a celebratory group of of tall men, some standing at the bar talking with each other, others talking with girls- some shared wedding bands with the women they were talking to, their wives apparently. So you figured those were the players. 

 “I can’t believe it.” Amy was still in shock next to you; you were too, but you needed to pull it together. “You and Barzal…”

“Well, we don’t actually know yet.” You pulled her into you by the elbow. “But please please don’t mention that to them, I don’t need them to think I’m crazy before I even talk to them.” She nodded back, but before either of you could comprehend what was happening, somebody- obviously one of the hockey players- seemed to catch her eye as they came into view near the bar. “A player you like?”

“Anthony Beauvillier.” She pronounced his name with an obvious swoon and you laughed. Oh, so this was that favorite player that she kept talking about. “Tito. Yeah. He’s cool.” She nudged you, smirking. “Oh! And he’s besties with Mat! I bet I could get him for you.”

“You? Talking to them?” As much as Amy liked to talk and wanted to meet the players, you knew she wasn’t the type to just go out and throw herself into conversation with somebody, and you knew she easily got tongue-tied- that’s where the two of you were most similar. But maybe it was just the fact that she was trying to help you out that gave her the boost of confidence to begin chasing after him. “Hey, actually, maybe we shouldn’t bother them. I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with fans.”

“We won’t pester them or anything. I’m sure they’ll see we’re not like, crazy crazy fans. Anyway we have a mission.”

“A mission?”

“Operation… I don’t know, Operation Find Mat Barzal for (Y/N).”

“Wow. Creative.”

“I know.” She laughed and smiled at you reassuringly. “Come on, both of us need to learn to be more assertive, don’t you think? We’re not annoying them, just telling them we think they’re cool, and maybe getting a picture. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” There was nothing you could say before she was- to your horror- reaching out and tapping Anthony’s arm. You were sure you looked nervous as he turned to look at the two of you, and your friend started rambling with a big starstruck smile on her face. “Hi, uh yeah. You’re cool.” You weren’t only feeling embarrassed yourself, but also for her. “I’m a big fan!”

To your surprise- or maybe not, he seemed like a sweet guy- he smiled back at her, and you almost melted under kinda his blue eyes as he looked between the two of you. He thanked her as she complimented his performance tonight and motioned to the phone in her hand. “You want a picture?”

“Yes please!” You took her phone for her to snap a couple of pictures of the two of them, glad that this guy seemed so chill and friendly. After the picture was taken, Amy still didn’t let him leave, no, to your absolute horror, she motioned to you. “My friend here, (Y/N), tonight was the first game she’s ever been to.” You could feel your cheeks heat up when he looked over at you, but couldn’t help but smile back up to him. Oh, he was kinda really cute...

“Oh yeah? Hope you enjoyed it.”

Oh. Oh, he was actually talking to you! “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t understand everything that was happening, I’m still learning, but.. it was still really fun!”

“Actually,” you felt Amy’s arm fall across your shoulders, and you looked over at her. God, what was she planning now? “(Y/N) happens to be a big fan of Barzy.”

“Oh God, Ames stop…”

“And I’m sure she’d like a picture with him. So if you could, I don’t know… point her in his direction, please? If he’s here? And if you think he’s got time for it?” You were in the middle of burying your red face in your hands in embarrassment when you heard him laugh goodheartedly.

“He wouldn’t mind. He likes talking to his fans.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure he’ll be especially happy to meet a new fan. He loves the praise.” All three of you laughed a bit, and you couldn’t believe that you were currently chatting with an NHL player. He looked behind his shoulder for a moment, before moving aside and motioning to the bar. “He’s over at the bar somewhere, by himself for the moment. Better hurry before someone else beats you to it.” There was a certain lilt in his voice, was… was he teasing you? You smiled- but it probably looked pretty nervous- and glanced over to Ames.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She winked at you and nudged you in the direction of the bar. “Go!”  

You bit your lip to hold back the growing smile at the thought of getting to talk to him, whether or not he remembered you at all. You looked up at Tito with a quick “Thank you!” before snaking around him and finding your way to the bar.

It didn’t take you long to notice him- he had a recognizable face, and you’d recognize him anywhere after looking at pictures of him for the whole ten-minute walk from the rink to this bar. He was standing at the bar, drink in his hand, and scrolling through his phone, a lock of dark hair drooping onto his forehead. His skin looked so golden in this light, as if he was back under the sun on a hot summer day- and it gave him a striking resemblance to the boy you knew ten years ago. There was something so different about seeing him in person rather than as a photo on your phone- it sparked up a weird feeling inside of you. If this was really him, it had been ten years since you last saw him, and a lot changes in ten years of somebody’s life. It may have been a strange thought but, wow, puberty really hit him in all the right places. He looked… wow. His cheekbones, his jawline,…. Okay, maybe it was kinda thirsty- ogling him like this- but you couldn’t help it.

Not only had he obviously changed physically, but he might be a completely different person. He was a professional athlete now- why would he need you anymore? That much attention changes a person. He might not be as kind as he was back then at eleven years old, he might not want to be friends with you or reconnect.

That is, if this even is him.

You swallowed down all your nerves and slid up next to where he was standing.

“You really made it to the NHL, huh?”  No shit he made it to the NHL, you thought. What the fuck kind of conversation starter is that?  It was a painstakingly slow moment as he directed his full attention away from his phone and towards you, and could practically feel the shot of confidence and adrenaline draining from your body when his pretty, confused eyes met yours. Oh, they’re a lot more light brown than they are green, you noticed, and you wondered if maybe all your memories of his “dazzling, gleaming green eyes” were wrong. You realized how strange you must look to him- you were just a random girl, approaching a super successful, let alone attractive, professional athlete at a bar. He probably thought you were trying to get a drink off of him or get into his pants for the clout.

Maybe you were expecting him to look up and immediately recognize you after ten years and sweep you up into a hug like in the movies, but it certainly didn’t seem like that’s what was coming.

“Yeah…?"  

He looked confused- his eyebrows furrowed up a bit as he looked you over, sizing you up or checking you out or just trying to figure out why this stranger was approaching him about his career choices. Suddenly, you found it difficult to hold eye contact. Of course he didn’t remember you. Who needs to remember their one-month-long friendship when they’re busy getting into the NHL? This was really starting to make you feel pathetic for holding onto the memory of your super short friendship for so long.

Well, you officially wanted the floor to open up and swallow you. Right now would be great. "Okay… that probably sounded really, really strange if you don't remember me. Or if it’s not even you. Umm, we hung out together in 2000 something…. 2008? The summer of '08?” You laughed awkwardly, trying desperately to lighten the mood. “We were, like ten, eleven?" He still said nothing, just watching you with a strange, unreadable look in his eyes. Oh god, you wanted  lightning to strike you dead, NOW. Literally anything would be better than standing here waiting for him to say something, anything! Even if he just says 'Who the fuck are you?' It would be better than silence. The silence was humiliating. "Okay, I’m so sorry. I probably got this all wrong and look like a weirdo." Right as you started to back away to run to find Amy and get the hell out of here, he held out a hand.

“Wait, wait!" His eyebrows shot up as if he couldn’t believe something, his outstretched hand reaching back to run through his hair. "Holy shit. Is it… (Y/N)?"  Your heart almost stopped right there, the moment he said your name, either that or it was beating so fucking fast you couldn't feel it. He said your name. Your name. He knows your name.

"Yeah.” You watched his face relax into a gleaming smile. Like sunshine. It’s him. You knew it now. “So I’m not crazy? It's… it’s actually you? Mat?"

"It's actually me." For the first time since you set foot in the bar, you felt yourself relax completely, and although you hadn’t had any alcohol, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Jesus, it was actually him. You crossed your arms on the bar and lay your forehead down on it. "Sorry, I just, it took me a second. I should have recognized you sooner.” You laughed a little bit into your arms at the sheer craziness of the situation. He still had that same warmth to him, the way he was always able to make you feel happy and safe, like when he distracted you on the beach while your parents were yelling inside or when he went too far trying to scare you with crabs and had to hug you and promise you he’d protect you from them.

“I can’t believe this.” You lifted your head to look back up at him, and he had a wide smile spreading across his face. “We actually ended up in the same city ten years later without even knowing each other’s last names.”

“Holy shit. Ten years? I feel old. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” Your heart soared at the idea that he still thinks of you- of the fun you two had together that summer. He took a sip from his drink, going quiet and just staring at his glass with a smile.

“You still think about it?”

“Sure, sometimes. I wonder how you’re doing, and where you ended up. I guess you ended up in New York.” He looked back up at you, eyes catching yours and gleaming all honey-hued golden brown and sending butterflies straight to your stomach. You could barely contain yourself, it didn’t matter that this was Mathew fucking Barzal you were talking to because to you he was still just your Mat, and that was even better. The sandy little boy with scraped knees. You couldn’t help but imagine how many people would kill to be in your position right now.

“I guess I just thought you would have forgotten about that summer, considering how successful you are now and stuff.”

He shook his head, smiling softer and reassuringly. “C’mon. I could never forget about that. It was my favorite summer to date.” He extended an arm and dropped it across your shoulder, pulling you in closer- no closer than two friends should be, but much closer than you ever thought you’d be to someone of his "social rank". It wasn’t any closer than you’d been in the past, but you were children back then. Now, you were young adults with hormones. He was a man. You would be crazy not to notice how warm and built he felt under his hoodie from obvious years of playing hockey, and there were dirty thoughts spinning around your head as soon as his large hand dropped to your arm and the dizzying scent of his cologne hit your nose. “You want a drink?”

You blushed and stuttered, shaking away any indecent thoughts. “Uh, I- I can’t. Yet.”

He seemed confused for a moment before laughing. “That’s right! You're a year younger than me, right? Aww, you’re still a baby. Can’t even drink yet.” He ruffled your hair gently, careful not to actually mess it up, and called the bartender over and asked for a glass of water, making sure to let him know that you weren’t old enough to drink yet. You could only laugh, remembering how much he loved to tease you back then. He obviously hasn’t changed in that department. “Ya know, you could’ve just DM'd me or something as soon as you found me. You didn’t need to dramatically approach me in a bar.”

“Well, I did kinda only find you tonight,”

His eyes went wide with a smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. Listen...” You launched into your story as to how you came to realize that your long lost friend was NHL star Mathew Barzal, and how you didn't actually know who he was as a player. He actually listened intently, unlike any of the disappointing boyfriends you’d had in the past. Man, whatever girl he gets is gonna be lucky. “I wasn’t sure if it was you or not. I spent the entire walk here looking up pictures and trying to decide if I actually recognized you or if it was just my brain being hopeful.”

“Wow. I guess I’ve changed, huh?” He rubbed a hand across his face, still smiling that stupid, beautiful smile that made you all nervous, and your eyes followed, tracing over the familiarity of his features- from his eyes up to his hair and down to his chin, maybe lingering for a second too long on the way his lips looked so soft and tender right now, curled up at the corners into a little smirk.

“Not that much, actually.”

You hadn’t realized how intimate that moment seemed until he caught your gaze, smiling cheekily, and you were pretty sure he knew you were just checking him out. “Lucky for you, you got to skip past my awkward teenage years.” He lightened the mood, poking fun at himself like he knew how to do. Brushing the hazy hot feelings out of the air and blaming them on the rush of meeting your childhood friend after all these years, you reached for your water in order to cool the fire inside of you and the blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure I would’ve loved to see that.”

You and Amy were over the fucking moon when you went home that night. You had exchanged Instagram handles and said your goodbyes to each of the men you had been talking with- she claimed to have been talking to Tito for the rest of the night and honestly, you’d believe anything at this point, after learning that your childhood romance- ahem, friendship- was with Mat Barzal. It took everything in you not to shriek like crazed fangirls. As soon as you got out of the bar, the realization finally hit you that you finally found Mat, and meanwhile, Amy was starstruck, having spent the night actually talking to NHL players and actually holding solid conversation.

“Holy shit please tell me everything! Right now!”

“Ames…” You could have told her what it was like to talk to him, disregarding anything in your past, the way he listened intently and made you feel like the only person in the world when his eyes were on you. You took her hands and looked into her eyes seriously, “Ames, we were right.” Okay, so much for not shrieking. Your friend threw her arms around you, jumping up and down for you. You couldn’t blame her, everything that happened tonight was crazy.

“You’re telling me that the kid you hung out with at ten years old has evolved into the one and only Mathew Barzal? Did he remember you?”

To be honest, it had taken everything in you not to try and drag him home with you or go home with him. He was intoxicating in all his warmth, the way his nose scrunched up, and his eyebrows arched when he smiled. The way he threw his head back when he laughed. The scent of his cologne had buzzed around your senses all night, clouding your judgment and making you want to say “fuck reconnecting as friends” and jump him right there. In fact, it still lingered around you after being pulled against his chest all night, and part of you wondered if it was the alcohol in his system, though not enough to make him drunk, that caused him to wrap his arm over your shoulder. If you had maybe harbored a tiny crush since your summer with him, it was heightened times 100 because of tonight.

You could tell that reconnecting with him- and eventually becoming friends again- was going to take a lot of self-control if you were gonna feel like this the whole time.

“Yeah. And he wants to catch up tomorrow. He said he’d DM me.” Amy was in the middle of shrieking in joy for you when, as if on cue, your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the first thing you saw after opening it was a message.

barzal97: Get home safe :)

“Girl, he loves you!” You laughed and shook your head as she shook your shoulder and patted your back, “You snagged yourself a hockey player!”

After you left, Mat didn’t see any reason to stay out longer. He almost couldn’t believe it- had someone slipped something in his drink? Was this just a dream? But then he opened Instagram and scrolled through your Instagram momentarily after DMing you and stopped on a picture of you and your friends, it was clear- he’d found you. You’d found him, more like. After ten goddamn years. It felt like a movie. You still had the same vibe, he could feel it in him the moment you were beside him. What was it…? Familiarity. Warmth. Comfort. Nostalgia. Whatever it was, it was you. After taking a moment to reflect on everything that had just happened, he was quick to finish his drink and find his friend, wanting to head home and prepare for his little meetup tomorrow.  

As he was heading out the door with Tito, Mat knew he needed to confide in somebody. “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Does it have something to do with that girl I sent over?”

“(Y/N)? You sent her over?”

“Yeah, I was talking with her friend. I noticed she didn’t come back after going to look for you.” Mat noticed the suggestive tone in his friend's voice and felt his face go pink at the thought of hiding away in a bathroom to make out- and maybe more- with you.

“No! Nothing like that. She was my friend when we were kids.” He had a serious look on his face, and Tito knew that Mat wasn’t kidding about this. “Really. We have a crazy story. We met ten years ago on vacation. We hung out for a month, and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t know her last name or anything, and she didn’t know mine, so it’s not like we could look for each other. But she found me.”

“Wow. She just said she was a fan.”

“Well, wouldn’t you think they were crazy if they told you that story.”

“It does sound like a movie.” He laughed a bit, patting Mat’s back. “So, what’s the deal with her now? Friend? Do you liiiike her? Do you like-like her?” The teasing tone in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“What are we, in middle school?” But he still shrugged, sighing. “I don’t know. We’re going out to catch up tomorrow.”

“Ooh.”

“Shut up.” He went silent for a moment, wondering over his question. Did he like you? He wasn’t sure. “Ya know, she’s with me in almost every photo from that summer. That’s how much we were together.”

“Well, if you guys hit it off, you should date.  I don’t need a competitor for best friend.” It was a joke, Mat knew and smiled at it, but he honestly couldn’t shake the idea of dating you. No, no, he’s only feeling this way because he hasn’t seen you in a while. It’s nothing but a bunch of resurfacing memories.

Hopefully, anyway.

The two of you really did hit it off the next day. And the next. And the next. And the next. You still got along just as well as you did when you were young, and maybe even better, now that you were adults and had more interesting things to talk about. He was funny, even funnier than he was as a child, and despite your original thought that the fame of being in the NHL must have changed him, he was actually kind of modest and shrugged and smiled with a pink flush on his face when you brought up his accomplishments. It was easy to be with him. He could talk and talk about his life and still keep you comfortable, inviting you to tell your own story, gushing over accomplishments that felt so small to you.

And that one catch-up date ended up being months and months more of friendship.

Friendship with Mat was one of the best things that ever happened to you. He was the ideal friend, he listened to you and kept an eye on you and pushed you out of your comfort zone when it was necessary. He loved hearing you talk about things you enjoyed and tried his best to find joy in your hobbies, even if he thought some were funny or boring. He was sweet, endearing, teasing. And it wasn’t long before he began bringing you out on casual outings with some of his personal friends, gushing and getting really into telling the story of how you were separated for ten years and reunited by maybe fate, maybe luck, who knew.

The only problem was that you wanted him to kiss you.

You wanted him to kiss you when you went out with him and Tito and Amy on Christmas, singing carols together and teasing him, asking him to sing louder because you loved the sound. You wanted him to kiss you on New Years, when you stood hand in hand in Times Square, shivering and smiling with red cheeks, but instead settled for a hug. You wanted him to kiss you after returning from his first All Star game in January, you wanted to congratulate him on being an All Star, because he spent so much time praising you and you wanted him to know he was just as amazing. You wanted him to kiss you when he was drunk on his 22nd birthday, all red-faced and giggly and dancing in the nightclub with a red solo cup in his hand and that stupid snapback on that made him look like a frat boy but suited him so well. He was hugging you to his side with one arm and, even like this, you were just praying that he would lay a messy, drunk kiss onto your cheek.

You just wanted his lips on yours. So, so bad.

But despite that, behind Amy, who was still holding onto the title of best friend, he was always the one you went to when you needed comfort or a companion or a distraction, or just to talk about certain things. Things like this.  

A week after his birthday, seven months into your friendship, you showed up at his door without warning, slumping against the doorframe when he opened it. “I have a problem.”

“With showing up unannounced? Yeah, I know.” He was joking and smiling, but maybe you missed it with how stressed you were. When you didn’t respond, he must have noticed the tired, strained look on your face and his happy expression dropped. He let you into his apartment, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. It wasn’t an odd thing in your friendship, he was always a touchy guy, especially when you were down, and you always welcomed it. He pulled you over to sit at the island in his kitchen and sat across from you. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a voicemail from my parents today.” You were already pulling out your phone to play the voicemail for him. Ever since that one month on the beach eleven years ago now, you and your family had been going back every summer for a week, up until four years ago, when you suddenly had a summer job and couldn’t afford to take a week off. You missed the beach, sure, but you definitely didn’t miss the way your parents would always find a way to argue and fight. Now, they were calling you and asking if you could come along this year.

“I think I’m missing the problem here. What’s so bad about a beach trip?”

You sighed and lifted your head. “Well, I want to go, and I already got my boss’s okay to take that week off. I really miss the beach. But my family is just… so overwhelming sometimes. I could try to hang out alone the whole time, but I’ll go crazy before the week is over.” There was a pause as Mat leaned back in thought, considering his options. Was this crazy? Was he crazy for doing this? Definitely. But, fuck it, ya know?

“I can come with.”

You scoffed. "No way, I'm sure you have other plans."

"Not really. Not that week." He saw the look on your face, and he really didn’t want you to have to deal with your family all alone for a week. "Look, I'll pay for my share of the trip, and I won't bother anybody." You laughed. There's no way Mat could go a week without bothering anybody. He laughed along, glad to see you happy. "Seriously. If you need somebody, I'll be there."

And that was it. That was how you ended up on a beach trip with the one and only Mathew Barzal, eleven years after you first met..

The first few hours of the trip down were blurry. Your family, in true vacationer nature, decided that all of you, your parents, siblings, you and Mat, should carpool together. So, at 8:00 AM, you loaded into the car, your parents up front, obviously, your younger twin siblings behind them so they could be monitored, and you and Mat in the very back. This was definitely a bad idea, 100%, but you couldn’t help the giddy feeling that sparked up inside of you when you told your family you would be bringing a boy along. Or the feeling you got when you looked at Mat sitting next to you, looking worn out and sleepy after six hours of travel-rest stop-travel-gas stop, with four more hours of travel left and suggested he try to get some sleep. You slept through the rest of the day, only waking up for bathroom breaks and rest stops, until eventually, you woke up around six in the evening with your head on Mat’s shoulder and his body angled towards yours, snoring softly and looking ever so soft.

“Mat, Mat wake up.” You shook him gently, laughing at the way he was drooling a little bit. He blinked his pretty eyes open and looked around, a little dazed.

“Are we there?” His sleepy, mumbling voice was so cute.

“Technically, yeah. But we can’t get into the rental house until tomorrow morning. So we found a place to sleep.” He groaned, his eyes slipping shut in protest, and showed no sign of moving from his seat. “Come on, you’d rather sleep in a real bed than this car, right?”

Those words had him slipping out of the car, his eyes half shut and holding your hand loosely, dragging his feet the whole way as you led the way to your shared room. He looked so cute in this outfit, grumpy and soft in a tee shirt and shorts and his hair looking extra messy. There was nothing you wanted to do more than sleep, but one detail had you stopping in your tracks as you opened the door.  Your parents had paid for three rooms- one for them, your siblings, and you and Mat- and of course, since your parents hated each other and apparently can’t stand to sleep in the same bed anymore, you and Mat got stuck in the room with one bed. Mat didn’t seem to care though, as he dropped his slides by the door and immediately collapsed in the bed, falling asleep almost immediately after mumbling for you.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get in...”

As you dropped down beside him in bed an appropriate distance from him and tried to ignore the sleeping beauty beside you, you began wondering if this whole trip was a bad idea. No, no way, you quickly pushed that thought away. This was Mat, your Mat, and you’re actually on the beach again with him. You fell asleep that night with a smile on your face, listening to the soft snores of the man beside you and trying to imagine what your week had in store for you.

Realistically, there's only one thing you can predict about this trip- it’s gonna take a lot of self-control.

[ot3]

wait wait wait can you explain more how to be funny and what makes humor work preferably a la essay form if you’re up to it. I’m reading a comic and the jokes aren’t sticking so I’d love to be able to properly be able to figure out what makes some joeks works but others not so I articulate what I hate about it

This response got kinda long so i’m sticking it under a readmore. TL;DR: I don’t think I can tell you how to be funny and what makes comedy work, I don’t think anyone can tell you that. However, I can give you a bunch of advice and guiding questions on how to go about figuring out these answers for yourself

Honestly I don’t think that’s something I’m capable of doing this in any sort of reasonable amount of time. It’d either have to be something really short and really general like what I wrote in the rvb0 post or it’d have to be incredibly long and incredibly specific where I pick specific good and bad examples of comedy and break down what I think works and what I think doesn’t. It’d take a lot of slow and meticulous work I don’t really have the time for, and I’m also not sure how helpful it would be, because once again, comedy is super super subjective and I don’t want to risk overemphasizing my own tastes/general observations as any sort of gospel.

the best advice i can give you would be to try and properly figure out for yourself why these jokes aren’t sticking! because processing something as Funny is much more of an innate reaction than, like, engaging Cerebrally with Narrative Developments it can be much harder to actually realize why something works or doesn’t. I’m going to start by sticking in what I said in my original RVB0 post here in case anyone is reading this without context. 

A rule of thumb I personally hold for comedy is that, when push comes to shove, more specific is always going to be more funny. The example I gave when trying to explain this was this:

saying two characters had awkward sex in a movie theater: funny

saying two characters had an awkward handjob in a cinemark: even funnier

saying two characters spent 54 minutes of 11:14's 1:26 runtime trying out some uncomfortably-angled hand stuff in the back of a dilapidated cinemark that lost funding halfway through retrofitting into a dinner theater: the funniest

The more specific a joke is, the more it relies on an in-depth understanding of the characters and world you’re dealing with and the more ‘realistic’ it feels within the context of your media. Especially with this kind of humor. When you’re joking with your friends, you don’t go for stock-humor that could be pulled out of a joke book, you go for the specific. You aim for the weak spots. If a set of jokes could be blindly transplanted into another world, onto another cast of characters, then it’s far too generic to be truly funny or memorable. I don’t think there’s a single joke in RVB0 where the humor of it hinged upon the characters or the setting.

Then there’s the issue of situational comedy and physical comedy. This is really where the humor being ‘tacked on’ shows the most. Once again, part of what makes actually solid comedy land properly is it feeling like a natural result of the world you have established. Real life is absurd and comical situations can be found even in the midst of some pretty grim context, and that’s why black comedy is successful, and why comedy shows are allowed to dip into heavier subject matter from time to time, or why dramas often search for levity in humor. It’s a natural part of being human to find humor in almost any situation. The key thing, though, once again, is finding it in the situation. Many of RVB0’s attempts at humor, once again, feel like they would be the exact same jokes when stripped from their context, and that’s almost never good. A pretty fundamental concept in both storytelling in general but particularly comedy writing is ‘setup and payoff’. No joke in RVB0 is a reward for a seemingly innocuous event in an earlier scene or for an overlooked piece of environmental design. The jokes pop in when there’s time for them in between all the exposition and fighting, and are gone as soon as they’re done. There’s no long term, underlying comedic throughline to give any sense of coherence or intent to the sense of humor the show is trying to establish. Every joke is an isolated one-off quip or one-liner, and it fails to engage the audience in a meaningful way.

When you see a joke that doesn’t land - try mentally rewriting it. Is there anything you could do to make it funny? Can you bring to mind any similar jokes from other pieces of media that you did like? How does the joke effect the pace of the story - is it an awkward and unnatural pause within the flow of events/dialogue? Is the joke well implemented - that is to say, regardless of how ‘objectively’ funny or unfunny the actual meat of the thing is, is it coming from the right source and directed at the right target? Does it add to your understanding of events/characters/setting, do nothing in this department, or does it detract from/contradict them? Is it immersion-breaking (and if so, is this intentional or meaningful?) or does it pull you deeper into the world you’re being shown?

Once you start asking these questions of both media you like and media you dislike you’ll start to recognize patterns in what lands and what doesn’t, and I don’t think they’re questions anyone else can really answer for you.

I think it also is a question of whether comedy is the intended final destination of a piece of media or just a step along the way. Media that exists solely as a vehicle for jokes is going to have comedy that looks very different than the comedy present in media that exists for heavy narrative purposes but includes moments of levity. 

Here are two examples of shows I think are really good and are also about as different in concept, execution, and intent as humanly possible: phineas and ferb and breaking bad.

Breaking bad is probably the most emotionally taxing television experience I’ve had in my life. I mean this as a compliment. breaking bad is supposed to be grueling to watch. It also has jokes in it. the scenes that are funny server to really meaningfully increase the immersion, not break it, and they do this by bringing a very realistic sense of human interaction that grounds the high-stakes melodrama into something that looks a hell of a lot more like reality. There’s one scene in particular i think does just such a great job of exemplifying this. here we’ve got jesse having dinner with walt and his wife while they are, as always, fighting with each other viciously and creating such a horrible and suffocating miasma of tension over the entire narrative, and jesse is trying to break some of this tension very poorly.

Then, in literally the complete opposite vein, you’ve got the phineas and ferb episode ‘lets take a quiz’ which i consider incredibly formative in the development of my sense of humor. The entire Bit of literally this whole episode is that they’re doing this terrible quiz with no rules that makes no sense and candace is trying to win but nobody knows how to play this game. 

Phineas and ferb is an episodic children’s cartoon that deals almost exclusively in unreality and the absurd, and so this kind of bit works here.

Saying ‘whats good comedy’ is really hard because it’s just like saying ‘whats good narrative’. There’s no one set of criteria; it boils down to what is the intention of your comedy, and how successfully were you able to act on these intentions?

This really got away from me sorry I am working on extremely little sleep i hope this helped even a little bit. My final piece of advice is: go watch hot fuzz. seriously. go watch hot fuzz (2007) dir. edgar wright and look at how the jokes in that movie are because theyre perfect and i love hot fuzz and it’s fucking funny

[madsdefencesquad]

@madisonsbabiesdaddy asked: How do you think they will explore Madison and her relationship with the other characters? Like, her individual storyline(s) and relationship with Kevin, Kate, Toby etc?

Her main storyline with Kevin will definitely be front and centre 100%. Since we know that they’ll end up engaged after six months and the writers have pretty much hinted that we’ll begin s5 during that flash-forward, I reckon we’ll see their relationship unfold through flashbacks, jumping from past and present, kind of like how they do the Jack and Rebecca storyline from past to back past.

This is the first love story for TIU that’s doing it backwards (pregnancy first before falling in love and getting married) so I’m glad there’s an entire season (and another!) to tell this story kind of like with Kate and Toby taking two seasons before they finally got married. In saying that, Madison’s arc will definitely involve the whole strangers to friends to lovers relationship with Kevin, her family history, her bulimia, the rough pregnancy, her body dysmorphia issues, the birth of the twins, parenting, the wedding, and being married with a family.

In s5, I see them starting it with them turning from strangers to friends while navigating the pregnancy. Dr. Mason, Madison’s OBGYN will be prominent in both their lives and particularly Kevin, apparently, so I’m thinking flashbacks to Dr. K with Jack or maybe even with Rebecca post-Jack as a parallel with theirs.

During this friends stage is when they’ll really delve into Madison’s past a bit more since we, like Kevin, are also getting to know her. I don’t think we’ll get a full episode to her backstory like with Beth (but I’m all for it!) because it’ll be interspersed with how her and Kevin get to know each other. So, I see it more as flashbacks perhaps when they’re on a drive to the doctor’s office, or maybe at her house just chatting, or doing some co-parenting planning, or even when they’re trying to look for baby names! So many possibilities but it’ll definitely be revolving around the domesticity of their life as they adjust to each other being so there.

This is also where Kate and Toby will feature more since Kate’s most definitely going to give Kevin an earful and will be a little shell-shocked for Madison, but I hope without hope that she steps up for Madison just as Madison did for her with Jack. Toby’s going to mostly be comedy relief. Especially when things start to heat up between the two and Kate’s feeling weirded out by it mostly because she’s super protective of both of them.

I hope we see more of Kate and Madison’s friendship shine through here but I’m not holding out too much hope since she has a pretty big storyline with Toby next season with the whole adoption, so it’ll mostly be Kevison-centric. Randall, Beth and the kids and even Nicky will all eventually play their part afterwards but that’s for a bit later. I can’t tell yet the dynamic between them and Madison but I reckon Nicky will find Madison charming kind of like how he eventually saw Kevin, and Beth will view her a little differently. I see her playing the part of Madison’s go-to when it comes to raising the kids.

Once Kevin and Madison have settled in comfortably in the friends stage is when things will start to heat up. The most exciting avenue the writers can really address here is Kevin finding Madison physically/sexually attractive despite the change in her body that is making her feel even worse than when she had body dysmorphia. Like, that is what’s going to differentiate this love story from any others that Kevin and Madison’s have had.

By now, Kevin (and us too!) will have known about Madison’s health history and the reasons why, so for him to find Madison attractive and to subtly (or not subtly) show this in the episodes, is going to be sooooooooo good. And also slightly angsty given that Madison’s most definitely going to question everything, especially Kevin’s intentions and the things he’s making her feel. It is going to be so dang J.U.I.C.Y.

Apart from the 90% chance of Caitlin being bumped into a series regular, Kevin’s definitely still going to be prominent in the Kevison episodes because well, he is the main character after all. So, we’ll definitely be seeing Madison more through his eyes, especially when he’s beginning to fall in love with her or in the midst of being in love with her. It’ll probably show her being the perfect person for him in the way that she doesn’t judge him for his past and doesn’t hold it against him and will probably be a strong advocate for everything that he wants to do i.e. there’s probably going to be a scene of Kevin getting a call to do a great acting job and Madison will urge him to go and not to worry about her, but he will, and it’ll be yet another catalyst for him to realise that she’s become more important to him than he’s realised/thought possible.

Everything leading up to Kevin proposing will be real ANGST CITY though like you just know that they’re going to make it heart-wrenching for us viewers TIU-stylez. I can almost see the scenes of Kevin telling Madison that he’s fallen in love with her only for her to tell him that what he’s feeling isn’t real or whatever and him doing everything he can to assure that he really has fallen for her and not just for their kids and ughhh I’m already crying just thinking about it! I’d like to see Kate in the middle of this, actually, as both Kevin and Madison’s confidante when it comes to each other.

In terms of other characters, I’m thinking Rebecca will be more prominent after the twins are born mainly because I’m not sure when exactly she leaves the clinical trial for her to be at the 40th birthday or when the proposal even happens (my guess is closer to the birthday). Perhaps Madison being pregnant plays a big part in Rebecca leaving the trial given that she wants to be there for her and for Kevin - she does have the experience of a multiple pregnancy, but can’t tell yet. They can definitely bond over the pregnancy, but I see it more as a chance for Kevin and Rebecca to bond even more too in terms of flashbacks to the early days of her pregnancy with the big three and how her and Jack are navigating it together and post-pregnancy too with screaming newborns.

And I honestly don’t see Miguel anywhere in this situation apart from being happy for Madison and maybe joking around with her about her finally being part of the family and not just having to put up with them.

After the twins are born and leading up to the wedding day will be very interesting too because they’re obviously juggling a stage of complete responsibility for newborns whilst navigating their feelings for each other. I mean sure, they’re engaged, but they’re also newly in love so having to juggle that with such immense responsibilities of caring for their newborns whilst trying to have alone time together is going to be hectic. Their dynamic is going to shift a lot and there may be some clashes there as they try to work things out and this is where the real testing happens in their relationship where it can go both ways: Kevin finds solace in the chaos of his new family as he juggles his work and his issues with Randall and his mother’s deteriorating health or Kevin will feel overwhelmed and find other ways to find relief. I doubt the latter will happen though because Madison will play a huge role in Kevin’s life.

She’ll be the Rebecca to Kevin’s Jack and she will be his anchor. That’s why the wedding will be the greatest parallel of all. Jack and Rebecca got married at city hall, but they won’t. We didn’t get to hear Jack and Rebecca say their vows to each other but we will definitely hear Kevin and Madison say it to each other and it’ll reinforce the “great love” and “love of my life” theme of the Pearsons, but with them two being the most unconventional and unexpected of them all. 

It’ll be the most beautiful conclusion to Madison’s story specifically. Her whole story revolved around her never finding anyone to love her enough to commit to her or see a future together with her even though she gives them her everything to make it work but now, finally, and unconventionally, she finally found him, and she gets to have him as the father of the children she thought she’ll never have. Woo!

Also, I’m super excited for them to explore the comedy aspect of Madison too now that she’s paired up with Kevin, who is the funniest Pearson/character in the show. Madison’s pretty on par with Kevin in terms of wit and unlike all the other ladies who’s fallen for ol’ Kevo, Madison will definitely challenge Kevin like no other by calling him out (“Why would you even say that to me right now?”) and ordering him around and be super unapologetic about it but doing it all with so much love and affection for him and it’s going to be great! I AM SO READY TO SEE MADISON SHINE ✨

[nad-zeta]

Match up (◕‿◕✿)

Hi, can I please have an ikesen matchup? I just saw your other match up and I love it. 💚 I’m introverted at first but I got wack when I’m with my friends, randomly giggle or laugh. I also love animals (all animals) and humans- not very much but if I hear a sob story, I will melt. I also cry easily although I try not to. I’m basically the “I’m baby” meme

Hi, there love! I hope you are having a good day! (◕‿◕✿) He is your match up dear, I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for the kind words, I’m so happy you have been enjoying me work so far <3 And soz for making ya wait sooooooooo long for this  <3

So I match you with………………. Yukimura

The first time you meet Yukimura was when he saved you from falling down a freaken cliff. You were soooo freaked out. The whole night had been a massive rollercoaster. First, you get flung into the past, then some hot dude asks you the rule the world by his side, then some other dude death stares you, you freaked out and ran away bare freaken foot through the forest, then ran into the hands-down scariest man you have ever seen and to top it all off, you almost plummet down a mountain to your death. If there was a prize for the worst night of your life tonight would definitely win by a landslide. You couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face, you were in shock. Yukimura stared down at the woman he had caught just in time, he was feeling super awkward. He never really speaks to a woman much less comforts them. All he can think to do is pull you from the edge of the cliff and give you a clumsy head pat “Hey look your okay, no need to cry or anything”. The two of you are joined by yet another group of strange men, you take cover behind Yukimura, who starts to chuckle a little. That’s when you spotted a familiar man. He walked up to you and pulled you aside, explaining the whole concept of time-travel. You were shook! Never in a million years did you think this could happen to you. Just before the two of you could finish your conversation, you heard the sound of hoofbeats in the distance. Damn, they are coming to hunt you down. Sasuke disappeared before your eyes, and so did the rest of the strange men leaving you to stand alone in the forest confused

Masa was the one who found you and brought you back to the castle with him, where you were named as the new princess of the Oda forces. You were super-shy, and it took you a looong time to open up to the odd bunch of men. You worked extremely hard to gain their respect and trust, and soon you found yourself befriending all the warlords. As time went on they actually all seemed to adopt you as their sweet little sister

You went out of the markets one day to get Nobunaga some sugar candies. Hideyoshi had hidden all his away, and he needed to replenish his secret stash, so he turned to you his beloved little sister to complete the top-secret mission. As you were out in town basically buying the wholes shop supply, some stranger put a cloth over your mouth causing you to pass out. Yukimura and Sasuke who were nearby and saw the whole scene unfold “Hey Sasuke, isn’t that wild boar woman over there getting kidnapped like a friend of yours or something?” Sasuke’s eyes went wide, he tried to see if one of the Oda warlords were nearby to come to your aid but sadly not, so it was now up to him and his BFF. The two of them trailed the kidnappers back to an abandoned shack in a secluded part of the woods. They were busy writing Nobunaga a ransom letter when a smoke bomb went off in the middle of the room, rendering them sightless.

You were slowly starting to regain consciousness when you saw some scary looking men discussing the terms of your ransom. You prayed at that moment that someone would come to your rescue. And just like that your prayers were heard and answered, Yukimura made quick work of the ropes tying your hands and feet together. You had been sitting for so long that Yukimura had to pick you up and carry you to safety.

The two friends took you back to their safehouse and made you some tea to help calm your nerves. You were yet again in tears before Yuki, and he yet again didn’t know what to do. Sasuke had left the two of you alone to go pick up some snacks to have with the tea. Yuki sat down beside you and clumsily rubbed your back. “Its okay now dummy, see, no one is gonna hurt you!” You picked up a nearby pillow and lightly smacked him with it, embarrassed by the fact that he has now twice seen you in full-blown crying mode. Yukimura smiled and picked up a pillow of his own, “Hey two can play that game dummy”. The two of you were now in a full-blown pillow fight. During the midst of your playful fight, one of the feather pillows actually burst open covering the whole room in feathers. The two of you were now running around throwing each other with the fallen feathers while sneaking in a few hits of the still intact pillows. Sasuke walked into a room covered in feathers, only to see that your sadness and fear of being kidnapped had been long forgotten. You and Yuki were now both clutching your stomach in laughter

You didn’t know what it was about the two men, or maybe it was the adrenalin now pumping through your veins, but you found yourself opening up and revealing your wack personality to both of them. The room was filled with laughter as the three of you drank tea and made the funniest jokes. You honestly found Yukimura to be hilarious. You were so thankful that the two of them had come to your aid, and you were even more grateful to Yukimura from turning an almost horrible day into a super fun one.

Since that day the two of you cuties would almost always run into each other. Both of you would usually have some tea and sweet buns together during his break. The one day while the two of you were out laughing as goofing off in a flower field, as you do, a big wolf pup came bouncing his way through the flowers and hit Yukimura  straight in the chest causing him to topple over. You laughed as the pup now mercilessly licked Yuki’s face. The second the lil thing heard your voice; it was now your turn to be licked to death. The two of you played with the little doggo all afternoon. You couldn’t help but fall in love with Yukimura. He was fun and outgoing, and he even trusted you enough to tell his sob story of a backstory to you which definitely pulled at your heartstrings.

Yuki was determined to take your relationship to the next level, so one day as the two of you was playing in the flower field with the little puppy, you noticed a small note attached to his collar. You took the note and started to read it, it had been a clumsily written love letter. You looked up to see Yukimura staring down at the ground red as a tomato. You had to chuckle at the fact that even his ears had turned a deep shade of red. He shyly looked up into your eyes, and the two of you just gravitated towards each other to meet in a sweet kiss. Which was ruined moments later by the pup jumping on both of you, now licking both your faces.

Yuki loved you so much from your wack personality to your ability to cry so easily. He would always be there to wipe away your tears and replace them with a big bright smile on your face. He loves to bicker and banter with you all day. HE loves nothing more than to hold you in his warm arms as the two of you sit together in the shade of a tree, simply enjoying each other company. Despite appearances Yuki is actually quite the romantic, often planning these little picnics for the two of you. He will literally hold you in his arms for hours while you talk his ear off about the happenings of your day. He will definitely occasionally drop as small butterfly kiss on your cheek all while being bright red.  The two of you can often be found spending time together playing with Yukimura’s little wolf pup or spending a quiet evening in Yuki’s safehouse just cuddling for hours.

Other potential matches……………..Ieyasu

I hope you enjoyed it dear 😊 <3 @fayeyey

[my-little-yellowbird]

Fangirl Asks...

I know, I know.  This has taken me 5-ever to complete.  Thank you to @bbcshipper , @elasticmonk , @fourteen-teacups   @thatginchygal and @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant for tagging me in this fandom questionaire.  I really enjoyed doing it, and got kinda loquacious with my response.  This is definitely worthy of a Reaad More break!

@bbcshipper asked:

1. How much do your real life friends/family know about your fandom life?  My family knows, or think they know.  Friends, nope.  They know I’m a fan, but have no idea of the extent of my madness.  I hold back with “normals.”

2. Have you ever embarrassed yourself fangirling? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.

3. What’s a recurring theme of fanfictions of you OTP that you find annoying/dislike?  Live and let live, and all, but I avoid nun smut.

4. What are some prompts/ideas you might want explored more in fanfic? (asking this one for some ideas, hope that’s okay!)  I love  fluff, of course, but I really enjoy fics that explore the real-world, ordinary problems and compromises that come with marriage.

5. What’s the meaning behind your tumblr name?  There’s an Everly Brother’s song of the same name, and my Grandmother used to sing it to me.  I commissioned an artist to make a stained-glass yellowbird and its become a sort of talisman.  

6. Favorite moment(s) with your OTP?  The hand kiss, the misty road, “What’s she like?” the so-sexy almost kiss in the tent, Teddy’s birth (I know. Don’t @ me. I complain about the story arc, but I’m not heartless)

7. How far would you travel to meet your OTP in real life?  If I were to meet them IRL, I’d have to pretend I was someone else.  I’m not good with worlds colliding.

8.Do you have a playlist for your OTP? (again, looking for ideas!)  Sorry, not really.  I’m terrible with playlists.  There was an old Youtube video featuring Pink and Nate Ruess of “Just Give Me a Reason” that gets to me.

9. What about your real life would shock your OTP?  Shelagh might find it odd that Patrick looks remarkably like Mr. Birdy.

10. What have you learned from being a part of the fandom?  I’ve learned a great deal about how different people cope with anxieties.  

11. What’s the best thing about your fandom?  My friends.  

@elasticmonk  asked:

1. What was your first fandom?  Call the Midwife is my first true-blue, throw-yourself-into-it fandom.  

2. What’s your favorite thing about your main fandom now?  People get me.

3. What is your main fandom?  Turnadette (sorry--do people actually have others?  jk)

4. Who is your favorite character of all time?  I can’t think of one, honestly, but I’ll say Molly Weasley, because of the next question.

5. What three quality’s do you think you share with your favorite character (of anything)?   Molly Weasley is devoted to her family, not afraid to love them and not let them get away ith nonsense,  and brave enough to stand up for right.

6. Where would you like to see your OTP vacation and why?  I’d like to see them at the beach in Torquay.  If Shelagh could wear the yellow swimsuit with the white band across the top, that would be ideal.  In fact, if they could live out any of my fics, I’d be a very happy bird.

7. What’s your favorite gif from your fandom?  I don’t know how to post an annotated gif mid-post, so I’ll just describe it.  It involves tiptoes, dancing, and a giant hand sprawled across a tiny back.

8. What’s your favorite picture from your fandom?  NGL

9. Who was your first OTP?  I guess I shipped Jo and Prof Bhaer as a kid?  

10. When did you start your main fandom?  I lurked through 2013 and into 2014.  I was very wary of the internet world, so when I finally identified myself, my palms were sweaty!  (My very first post was my first fic ever!)

11. AU or canon complaint fanfiction?  Canon-compliant, but I will read AU if it’s done in a way that sheds a new light on the characters.

@thatginchygal  asked:

1.  What was the first fanfic you ever read?  I can’t remember the first Call the Midwife fic I ever read.  It was all such a blur!! But...I think the first ever fic-like thing I ever read was a published Star Trek novel by A.C. Crispin, entitled Ishmael.  It was a mash-up of Star Trek and Here Come the Brides. So, so right.

2.  What was the first fanfic you ever wrote (if any)? Not Listening

3.  Your last text message is the title of your next fanfic.  What is it (and a brief summary)?

“I got you a glow stick.”  It was for a candlelight march.  I wonder...now i may have to do some research into marches in London in the early 1960′s...Or reinterpret that text for an altogether different purpose...

4.  Do you keep your fandom interests a secret from your RL family/friends?

No, it’s not a secret.  At least, not generally.  My feeling is, I have nothing to be embarrassed about, so if they want to see, then go look.  If they have a problem with anything they see, that would be on them.  Fortunately, their respect for my  right to have something just for myself--added to a little bit of fear of what they might find--keeps them away.

5.  What is one of your favorite scenes between your OTP?  I think Im going to pick the almost kiss in the tent.  It’s SoMarried!! and very sexy.  But you know, add about 100 more scenes and I’m good.

6.  Do you have a playlist for your OTP?  Sorry, no.

7.  Why do I suck at coming up with these questions?? You’re better than I am!

8.  Would you want to live in the ‘world’ of your favorite fandom?  Maybe visit?  Probably not.  I’m content to watch from here.

9.  What is your favorite piece of fandom merchandise? Oh, this is so easy.  I have the companion books to the series, a boatload of Nonnatun Holiday cards, my Yellowbird stained glass statue, but what I love the most are the crocheted Yellowbird my friend Soph made me, and the Yellowbird Christmas card Mushy sent me this year.  It’s framed!

In the fall of 2015, a group of lucky Nonnatuns went to a CtM panel that featured Heidi Thomas, Stephen McGann, Jenny Agutter, Emerald Fennell and Dame Pippa Harris.  A week later I recieved this promotional post card in the mail:

I have to admit, I was a little teary when I saw it, mostly because I was so touched that in the midst of their own fun, two friends had me in their thoughts.  They told the panelists about me, and how their show had helped to build friendships.  Everyone signed messages to me on the back.  I’m pretty sure HT’s message included an invite to tea.

10.  Have you ever drifted away from a fandom only to be sucked back in (perhaps by a new season or change of storyline)? Not really.

11.  Do you prefer canon-compliant fanfic or AUs?  Definitely Canon-compliant.

@fourteen-teacups asked:

1.  How did you come to join your first online fandom? Blame Call the Midwife.

2.  If your first fangirling obsession pre-dates access to fandoms, what was the show and/or your OTP?  In college, a friend was a huge Start Trek fan.  By default, I got interested (alas, not obsessed).

3.  If your OTP came to visit you in your town (in present day) where would you take them?  We have a lot of parks suitable for camping.  I could take them there to see a lovely site, then bring them back to my house for a nice cuppa and fresh sheets.

4.  What three things do you have in common with your favorite character?  

5.  What prop would you most like to have from your favorite show? (I borrowed this question from a behind the scenes CtM interview.)  The photograph of the cricket team on the surgery mantle and Shelagh’s long-lost sunflower brooch. 

6.  Same question but for an article of clothing.  I want the Tan Overcoat of Love.

7.  Where would you like to see your OTP go on vacation and why?  See Elasticmonk q6

8.  Do you have a) multiple OTPs; or are you b) a one-OTP-at-a-time person?  I have a great appreciation for many OTP’s, but for me, there can be only one.

9.  In question 8, if you answered a) list your top three OTPs; if you answered b) what was the OTP you dropped for your current one?

10.  If you lurked in your fandom before joining (or even if you didn’t), is there a fellow fan whom you consider “famous” in the fandom that makes you fangirl whenever they comment on your posts?  I was desperate for @this-unruly-heart to notice me!  One day she messaged me asking if I was the one who wrote a "Letters” fic that she loved. 

11.   Was there a particular person who was especially welcoming and/or helpful when you first joined your current fandom?  Many of the Nonnatuns of old that were supportive of my early efforts have moved on to other things, but the boost they gave to my confidence was immeasurable. Oh, and Sarge, too!

@like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  asked:

1. When did you start taking part in fandom(s)?  I dipped my toe into the Star Trek fandom back in the late 1980′s.  A dear friend was a huge fan, and her enthusiam was contagious.  Sadly, she died in December 1988, and I had to leave fandoms behind.  Then, in 2005 we moved away from the very close world we had built, and I was lonely.  I started to look around for period dramas to watch and stumbled upon North and South.  I was unbelievably grateful it wasn’t the old Civil War mini-series, and I started to read everything I could find.  I came across C-19, and found fanfic as I now know it.  As much as I enjoyed it though, I wasn’t ready to participate as anything other than a lurker until Call the Midwife came along.

2. Which fandoms? Sorry, I think I answered that in th eprevious response

3. How long did you stay? Ibid

4. Did you write fanfics?  Yes, although sometimes I need a kick in the butt to make sure it doesn’t become a past tense thing.

5. Any memorable funny event in your fandoms?  So many ridiculous things have happenned here.  Hiatus Challenges, Limericks (!!!), Twitter responses (remember when HT used to answer our questions? Flat/house! Names!), Nonnatun Holiday Card Exchanges...It seems that the funniest things would come out of nowhere.

6.  Did you get long-time friends? (even as Real People)?  Definitely.  There are people I have met here that I feel I know as well or better than people IRL.  And one poor soul has had to bear meeting me in person and somehow still continues to be my friend.

So here are my questions.  

How has fangirling made an impact in your life?

What makes fangirling most worthwhile to you?

What have you learned about yourself by being a part of a fandom?

I tag: @elasticmonk @thatginchygal @fourteen-teacups @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant  @lovetheturners @hihereami  @pellucidthings @gabolange  @missouiser @ilovemushystuff @it-is-bugs @crinklybrownleaves @majsmom   @missbergmans @miss-ute @snoopctm @mg-bsl381 @turnt4turnadette @cooldoyouhaveaflag @eatapinkwafer @weshallc @westcoastwilma @skerri @beatrix-franklin @alice1nwond3rland @sincerelygeertje @silentkw @flyingnonny @anamarialujan @purple-roses-words-and-love @bloghey131313 @poplarpatience @soibhanmannion @kaguyahime1224

and anyone else who sees this. My fingers are tired.

[seriouslyhooked]

So In Love (The CS Mixtape) Part 126/?

Series of CS oneshots inspired by music. Collection on FF Here.

A/N: Hey all! This is a modern AU drabble prompted by a follower who wanted ‘Danny’s Song’ (sung by the Swon Brothers) where Emma and Killian are newly weds who are really young (still in college) but are on the way to starting their family. It’s literally all fluff, but I hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!

Sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, awaiting the chance to figure out if Emma’s hunch that she was expecting was true, Killian could barely wrap his mind around everything going on. He was elated, hopeful in a way that he couldn’t easily describe, though he also knew that this was a moment when fear could be understood. A baby, a new life to support and to care for, would be a major change, one neither he nor Emma had been expecting, but even if the timing wasn’t perfect, Killian couldn’t help but feel so incredibly happy.

Because the truth was that he loved Emma. He had been in love with Emma since the moment they met on the first day of classes freshman year. It was an adjustment, coming to America from a different country and starting anew. But in that time of darkness, in the midst of that uncertainty, there was a girl who was as beautiful as she was guarded. She also happened to be whip smart, far too good for him, and the funniest person he’d ever met. It was easy to outline the reasons why he’d fell for her, but that love only increased as time went on.

Emma’s origin story was a sorry one, and as soon as Killian discovered the full extent of what she’d missed out on, he made it his mission in life to make amends for all that Emma had gone through. She’d never had a place to belong? He’d help her find her home. She’d never had a family who wanted her? There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to stand at her side and see her happy.

Now more than three years later, Killian was truly blessed, because somehow Emma was his. She’d chosen him in return and there wasn’t a day that went by when Killian didn’t thank his lucky stars for that fact. Emma loved him just as much as he loved her, and in break from what most people would expect, they were already married. They hadn’t wanted to wait until they were done with school. It felt like a lifetime to them, waiting two more years. Honestly any amount of time was too long when you knew you’d found the one, and so they didn’t. Last summer they’d been married in the meadow not too far from school that Emma loved best in front of their friends and Killian’s brother. It was the single best day of his life and nothing could hold a candle to it, until the morning Emma told him her feeling under the weather and about the fact that she was late.

“Tell me it will all be okay.” Emma said the words from beside him and Killian turned to look at his wife. Her hand was already in his, her body hugging close to his chest as she molded to his side, but he could feel her anxiety, and instinct demanded that he ease it away.

“It’s going to be more than that, Emma. I know this wasn’t the plan. I know we both wanted a bit more stability before this, but I have to believe everything happens for a reason. Fate brought me you, and so I’ll never turn her down. Whatever the doctor says, we’re going to have each other, and someday, whether it’s months or years from now we’ll have that family we both want, and it’ll be the best thing in the world.”

Emma smiled, and though Killian could see some lingering worry, it was clear that his words were helping. Her hand made its way to his chest, just above his heart, and finally she exhaled, gearing herself up to talk to him.

“It’s just…” Killian moved one of his hands to cup her cheek and waited until her green eyes met his before he urged her on.

“Whatever it is you can tell me, Emma.”

“I never want to let our kids down. I want to be there – to really be there – and I want to do it right. I want them to know how much we love them and how we’ll always choose to be with them. What if it’s too soon? What if we screw up? We don’t know how to do this.”

Each one of her concerns latched onto his heart and it hurt, like a thorny prick against his chest, but it was always better to see inside his Swan’s heart. Emma trusted him, and that was one of the greatest gifts she’d ever bestowed on him. It was his job then to make her see that there was hope, even through the fear.

“You are the smartest, kindest, most fiercely determined person I have ever met, Emma. Everything you are, everything you’ve been through – that we’ve been through together – it’s given you the answers already. We’re never going to know exactly what to do. We’ll never get it perfect, but there is no doubt in mind that our kids will know love. With a mother like you, they’ll have the best. Belonging to you is a miracle, Emma, and any child of ours will know that.”

Killian didn’t know what he expected from her, but it wasn’t the kiss that he received, a searing one meant to show him how much Emma needed him and how much he meant to her. In that moment the waiting room faded away. There was only Emma, and the possibility that soon their life and their love would to bring something all together too beautiful to describe into this world.

“I love you.”

Her whispered words were simple in the face of all of his, but they brought a genuine smile to Killian’s face. All this time later and there was still nothing like knowing he had Emma’s heart. It filled him up with purpose, and this feeling like everything truly would work out in the end. She was his hope and his light, and the funny thing was she seemed to think it was the other way around. She always saw the best in him, and it was her belief that motivated him to be better in every way.

“Emma Jones?” The nurse called from the doorway and Emma jumped as Killian held her in place. He gently brought her hand that he was holding to his lips and pressed a kiss there.

“Whatever happens, love, know nothing in this world makes me happier than you.” Emma whispered that it was the same for her as they got up and moved together behind the nurse.

The appointment was pretty typical to start, just getting Emma’s vitals and such, but when the doctor came in and the truth came out, that they were expecting a baby in about six months time, Killian couldn’t help but let his joy be known. There were tears in his eyes, and he wasn’t too proud to let them fall when Emma decided to get an ultrasound and they heard the heart beat of that precious little boy or girl.

“We did this,” Emma said, clearly as blown away by their tiny miracle as he was.

“Aye, love.”

“I love them so much already.”

Killian heard the warm reverberations of Emma’s joy in her tone. There were tears in her eyes too, but there was also so much more. She looked lost almost, caught in the same fantasies he was having of little girls with their mother’s blonde hair and knowing eyes, and boys that looked like him, causing mischief but always vowing to protect the people they loved most.

He knew Emma was awaiting some sort of reply from him. Killian could see it in her beautiful face as she looked up at him and he tried to find his own that could do this feeling justice, yet he was speechless. It was unexpected, and this little boy or girl would be facing some interesting times with them ahead, but hell if Killian could regret a single part of this. This was the epitome of happiness. This was love made real. It was him and Emma’s passion and need for each other that made this possible. They’d started a family a family he would cherish and protect and live for all the days of his life.

“You’ve given me everything, love. Everything and more.” Killian pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued to hold onto Emma, from when the appointment ended until they were back in their little apartment set to make plans.

As expected, Emma was the picture of ability and capacity. She set forth a plan and in the course of one afternoon she’d gotten them on a track to not only graduate early (so that both of them would have their degrees by the time the baby was born) but to find a place to live once they were done here. They had a lot of questions to consider and not the least of them was where to call their home.

But when the sun set on this day, and Killian’s ability to wait any longer was tired out, he pulled his lovely wife into his arms and brought her back to bed, wanting and needing to celebrate this news in the way that only the two of them could. And later on, when the two of them were wrapped up in each other in the bed they shared, Killian told Emma the absolute truth: that there were no limits to the love between them, and that he was so in love with her and so devoted to their family that nothing could ever come between them.

………..

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, And we've just begun. Think I'm gonna have a son. He will be like she and me, free as a dove, Conceived in love. The sun is gonna shine above.

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey, And everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning, when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though, a month ago, I was Beta-Chi, Never got high. And oh I was a sorry guy. And now I smile and face a girl that shares my name. Now I'm through with the game. This boy will never be the same.

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey, And everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning, when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything, is gonna be alright.

Love a girl who holds the world in a paper cup. And drink it up. Love her and she'll bring you luck. And if you find she helps your mind, buddy take her home. Oh don't you live alone. Try to earn what lovers own.

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey, And everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning, when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey, And everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning, when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Post-Note: So I just want to thank my reader for being so kind and patient as I worked to find the muse for this story. I really liked the idea of a younger Emma and Killian starting a family, and though it took some time to figure out how I wanted to express that, I hope I did your vision justice. Also thank you to everyone else for reading as well and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46, Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53, Part 54, Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60, Part 61, Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68, Part 69, Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75, Part 76, Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83, Part 84, Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90, Part 91, Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98, Part 99, Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103, Part 104, Part 105, Part 106, Part 107, Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112, Part 113, Part 114, Part 115, Part 116, Part 117, Part 118, Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123, Part 124, Part 125

[recentanimenews]

Best Isekai of 2018 Should Have Been a Category So I'm Doing it Right Now!

Best anime by genre categories are out in this years Anime Awards in favor of some more focused awards. Although the anime of the year are a strong line-up, I think that something important has been lost in this different direction. We’ll know the best overall, but what about those of us who favor action? Comedy? Drama? I can’t let this stand. Before the winners are announced, I need to put up one category that absolutely deserves a place among the 2018 awards. The one genre that I absolutely can’t be ignored. Perhaps the most important genre of all.

  I’m talking, of course, about isekai.

  Although it’s hard to trace the precise origin of isekai, with stories as old as Dante’s Inferno representing the genre, no medium has claimed it as wholeheartedly as anime. There’s fierce competition in 2018, averaging 3 or more per season (depending on your definitions). Having spent my time with each of them, I feel uniquely qualified to handle this category on my own. No fan vote or panel of judges needed. Below are my nominations and I’ll even announce the winner well ahead of the actual awards. You’re welcome

    Nominations

  Caligula

    Didn’t think I’d be able to bring up Caligula again, did you? While technically the world of Mobius is a digital space, the fact that individuals around our world fall into a coma and emerge into this one speak to some supernatural developments not unlike a series like Overlord or Demon Lord where a game becomes real. So basically, it totally counts. The Go-Home Club having to battle the same inner demons that drew them into Mobius and μ’s own twisted perception of the paradise she has created for them provide a ton of fertile ground for cool plot developments. Also the weapons are cool and the villainous Ostinato Musicians are wonderfully over-the-top.

  Digimon Adventure tri.

    Part 6 “Future” of Digimon Adventure tri. came out this year along with its episodes 22-26 and the series has gotten real. The Digital World has begun to overlap with ours, Digimon are going crazy, and the Digidestined have to venture once again into the Digital World to figure out what’s going on. They’re dealing with growing up, accepting responsibilities, and loss in the new storyline. If you’re unfamiliar then the “Digital World” part should have irrefutably proven that, yes, Digimon is an isekai. If you watched the series as a kid then this deserves a watch because it’ll shatter your heart into a million pieces. Not gonna lie, this one gets a ton of points just based on the beauty of its key art alone.

  HINAMATSURI

    Reverse isekais have been the dark horse of the genre for some time now, delivering consistent quality with titles like Re:Creators and Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. Hinamatsuri stays the course with an unbelievably charming, funny story of psychic child soldier catapulted into our dimension in a likely effort to dominate it and sell it off like a baby saiyan. Hinamatsuri is among the greatest comedies of the year, which is a considerable feat next to titles like Zombie Land Saga, Pop Team Epic, and Asobi Asobase, with some stellar animation and genuinely heartfelt moments. I’m definitely ok with this becoming a new trend.

  How Not to Summon a Demon Lord

    Won’t mince words, I have more than a few problems with this series, but among the number of more orthodox and exhaustively titled isekai (looking at you Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody and The Master of Ragnarok & Blesser of Einherjar) it definitely distinguished itself on a pure visual level, delivering ridiculously animated magical explosions every episode. It definitely had a plan for its humor as well, leaning on Diablo’s absolute lack of social skills to force a him to roleplay his way across the fantasy world as his OC (plz dont steal). It even landed, giving his personality a bit more punch than your average high school boy catapulted into a land of sword and sorcery.

  Overlord III

    I’ve watched 3 seasons of Overlord and I’d honestly be lost if you asked me to tell you where it’s going. While Ainz himself is hard to root for, his rogues gallery of crazy and colorful minions are hard not to like. It’s definitely the most dedicated to world-building, regularly switching between global politics and substories among everything from elite adventurers to lizard people in the midst of romance. It’s often extremely difficult to determine where certain plot threads will become relevant until it all falls together. The fights are neat, most of the people in charge deserve whatever they’re going to get, and the lizard people found true love.

  That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

    Easily the strongest of the more traditional isekai series (although to be honest the genre really got its start in shoujo), Slime takes a lot of unexpected turns from the usual isekai formula, starting with the Slime. Until So I’m a Spider, So What? comes out, Slime will be the only isekai anime featuring a protagonist who is turned into a monster or object (get ready though, there are a ton of light novels) but that may be the least dramatic difference between it and its competition. Many heroes try to resolve things peacefully, but Rimuru really take the time to integrate himself into the stories of others, learn about their problems, and find the best way to help them. Also the extended cast are adorable and the series itself is freakin’ gorgeous.

  Winner

  HINAMATSURI

    I almost feel bad for doing this since Hinamatsuri made it into the nominations for anime of the year (I’m as shocked as anybody) and Nate claims it Hinamatsuri deserves best fight scene of the year (I extremely disagree), but it’s under consideration for multiple awards for a good reason. The anime really has it all. In a year blessed with awesome comedy anime, I’d honestly say that Hinamatsuri was the funniest, balancing Hina’s ridiculous humor with the dark comedy of Hinata’s eternal suffering perfectly. It had both hand-to-hand fights and psychic combat every bit as good as the other isekai on this list. Anzu’s subplots were also devastating. Hinamatsuri could do no wrong.

  Congratulation, Hinamatsuri! You win this extremely official and real award for Best Isekai of 2018!

  Do you disagree with my assessment? You probably do… Who do you think should have taken the award? Did I leave out an isekai that deserves consideration? Does Steins;Gate actually count as an isekai because technically all the timelines are individual, though similar, universes? Let us know in the comments below!

---

Peter Fobian is an Associate Features Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[maurienity]

They say that when it feels scary to jump, you jump

They said that when it feels scary to jump, you jump.

But in my situation, there are two cliffs. None of them seem to be a good option for the jumping thing.

The truth is, I did not go to class. Again. For the nth time in my college life.

It is very depressing when I start to think about my family and the amount of money they have spent for my education, and the faces of professors who try their best to bring out the best in every student they have.

Then me, the hopeless stubborn me. The person who’s giving it all up just because she could no longer take the humiliation of not studying the night before and the days before that. The person who does not have the courage to attend the class she is required to attend.

Once upon a time, I was one of the active students. I had good grades and my name was once posted on boards to be one of the Dean’s Lister. I used to be happy.

Then came the weight of things. I’m not blaming it to the people I met, to the friends who cut class with me, or to anyone or anything that crushed me. I take all the blame. This is my doing. This is my fault.

I never chose to be better. I chose to be stuck in this hell hole and never stand up. I chose to be the evil person that I become.

So even when it depresses me to see the people that I love exert effort to support the things that they think I do, I just could not fix myself. I also never asked for help, and maybe whenever I do, I just shrug it off. I think of myself as a mature and independent woman. But I am nothing but a girl too scared to move on with life.

In my situation, law books are meals I forcefully feed my brain. I do want to be a lawyer, fast-forwarding to that glitter and gold that most lawyers gain at the peak of their careers. What I did not see was the sea of words I had to memorize, claims I have to prove and cases I have to digest. In my mind, I skipped the very essential part of becoming my own dream, so that was when I started to suffer.

In my chosen field, if you’re not smart enough to sound like the author of a book you haven’t read; or diligent enough to read all the assignments the professors gave a week ago, then you’re either stupid or just brave to attend the class. While the lawyer-professors encourage their students to attend their weekly sessions of endless legal matter, the real danger is on the part of the students on whether they actually understood the subject matter.

Smart students have the right to cram since with one look, they’re armed with the facts of the case. They know the twists and turns of the law in five minutes. If they were in the zone the night before, they have larger chances of winning the fight.

The diligent students, on the other hand, are the all-nighters and highlight warriors. It should always be about their notes and the colors of their photocopies. They’re prepped enough to answer recitations.

The funniest people are those who knew nothing at all. No notes, no photocopies, no books—nothing. Just their stupid selves in class. I belong to this category.

Each meeting, I look at my classmates to see whether they studied or not. I would resent the idea that I did not study from the first place, then promise myself to become a better version of myself next time. Then the cycle starts again.

I never studied. Whenever I have time for my books, I’d spend it reading online blogs or Stephen King’s It. Sometimes I’d just slumber in bed and dream of happy things.

But to tell you honestly, I never once considered myself happy as I refuse to read my law books to fulfill my dream. I never once enjoyed the idea of standing hopelessly in front of my classmates, waiting for an answer that won’t come in the midst of recitation. I never once enjoyed the idea of getting very bad grades over the easy things—the kind that I could have exerted effort on. It’s stupid to be depressed on both the things I did and didn’t do. And the more days I let it happen to me, the scarier it is to face life and the problems accompanying it.

I wake up everyday to tell myself to be brave no matter what happens to me, because there are days that I really wanted to jump off and end it all. I understand that it’s my fault, so instead of fixing things that I wouldn’t want to fix now, I would just kill the monster that is myself.

Truthfully, whenever I have time (which is always) I’d read suicide books to know how the character went with his or her story. Theodore Finch, Hannah Baker, Emily Gold, Alice, Virginia Woolf, Will Traynor—they all died. Even Glenn in the Walking Dead died. When I figured that blogs about getting better do not actually help, I started researching about suicide. It came to a point that I called the suicide hotline and talked to this girl Andy who does not seem to convince me out of it. I also started thinking that I wouldn’t reach this point in my life where I have to take care of kids and fall in love and be happy. Bad days always have the habit of visiting my almost perfect day.

At the end, it’s harder done because there are still people who actually cares. So I try, God knows how much I try, to live every single day with bravery in my heart even when there are times it’s harder to breathe, or that I throw everything up, or I lose all the control I have in me and break down.

I know and I believe that this isn’t a bad life after all.    

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