#honestly the closest I’ve been with anyone recently was going out-out with the cast and crew form one of the shorts I’m working on

[figureitoutinthemorning]

Hmmmmm okay you all can ignore this lmao I’m just going to Complain On The Internet for a bit because I’m pretty sure it’s that or tell the next person to say hi my entire life story, and no one wants that, least of all me ✌️

[calpalirwin]

Let The Walls Break Down

Summary: Calum gets over his skepticism

Word Count: 2.7k

And away, and away we go!

__

“It’s almost impossible. Love sucks. Don’t try it. It’s a scam.”

That had been Calum’s general thoughts on relationships since the two of you called it quits. The “almost” bit was in admittance that 1.) your relationship had been amicable from start to finish, in fact the two of you were still close with each other, and 2.) he knew love worked for some people, however he didn’t view himself as one of those some.

Being close to Calum post breakup meant you had a front row seat to the man’s brief stints at romance, which was a nice way of saying “endless stream of one night stands.” The flip side was he had a front row seat to your own count of nameless men. While in the beginning, the others in your friend group joked in hushed tones that it was an act on both your parts to stir up jealousy, the longer it went on without any animosity building up between you and Calum, the more the whispers died down until they disappeared all together. Because the simple truth was that the one night stands were just about sex. After all, you and Calum had learned together that the two of you were too busy for anything more than casual sex. A lesson both of you considered well-learned until Michael got engaged and flipped everything into a new perspective.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in love,” you said after Crystal recounted all the details and you stopped squealing in excitement for her. “I mean, anyone who sees you and Michael has to believe it’s real.”

“Aw, Y/N,” Crystal blushed shyly.

You laughed, “I’m serious. You and Michael. Luke and Sierra. Ashton and Kaykay. I’m surrounded with reasons to believe love exists. The real ‘can’t imagine my life without you’ kind of love. But for me?” You waved a hand dismissively. “Pfft, nah.”

“Because you don’t believe he’s out there for you, or because you already had him and the timing was wrong?” she pressed suggestively.

You rolled your eyes. Right person, wrong time was the excuse you had given when asked when you and Calum split, because to you, it was the closest thing to the truth. “Okay…” you started slowly. “Of course I loved Cal. And I still love him now. But when we were together… We were kids who were focused on our careers. And we’re still those career-driven kids. Understanding the balance between professional life and personal life without feeling like we’re sacrificing a piece of it for another was something Cal and I will never master. We tried. I thought if I could find that balance with anyone, it would be with him. But it wasn’t. And that’s okay. I’m fulfilled in other ways.”

“But…” Crystal kept trying to press.

“But nothing,” you laughed. “I’m happy with my life the way it is, Crys. And beyond happy for you and Michael. You’re getting married!”

~~~

Across town in a celebration of their own, Calum was under similar fire. “Happy for ya, mate,” Calum said, clapping Michael on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Cal,” Michael beamed. “I think I’m still in shock from all of it.”

“I think that’s probably a natural feeling,” Ashton told him, playing the voice of reason. “It’s an exciting change that pulls things into sharper focus.”

“Yeah, like all I wanna do now is tell Sierra how much I love her,” Luke put in.

���Oh, you fuckin’ sap,” Calum laughed.

“Just because you’ve never been in love…”

“I have too!” Calum defended.

“Oh, really? Who?”

“Y/N, idiot…” Ashton told Luke with a roll of his eyes.

Luke nodded in a “Oh, yeah!” fashion, before going on, “Is she the only girl you ever loved?”

“Yep.”

“So why aren’t you still with her?”

Calum shrugged. “Timing was off. And we haven’t changed. So why would the timing have suddenly changed?” The question was rhetorical, without the slightest hint of hurt. A simple fact of life, nothing less, nothing more. A fact Calum had made peace with long before.

“So what? You’re fine with the greatest love of your life being over 2 years ago?” they questioned anyway.

He shrugged again. “Have been for a while, in case ya haven’t noticed. And no,” he raised a hand, cutting off any protest, “this isn’t a bitter, ‘oh convince me otherwise’ deal. Y/N and I are both more than happy with the lives we’re living.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I talk with her, and I trust she’s telling me the truth…”

“Alright, alright,” Ashton was willing to let the conversation rest, but he had one last question. “Is there any part of you that would want to try again with Y/N?”

A third and final shrug. “I mean, she was the only one I ever saw a future with aside from the band.”

“That has to mean something, Cal. C’mon. If there was ever a time to give love a chance, it’s now.”

~~~

While Calum’s head raced with his friends' words of encouragement, if he could call it that, yours raced with thoughts of feeling like you somehow failed in life. Sure, your career was everything you wanted it to be and more. You wouldn’t trade a single moment of your life for anything else. But now that your friends were clearly doing more than simple dating, the doubt started to trickle in. Would it be nice to share a life with someone? Absolutely. But not at the risk of your own independence. And the only person who had ever proven that you could maybe have the best of both worlds was Calum. And even that hadn’t worked. But maybe there was something to Crystal’s words about it being a case of bad timing. Maybe it was worth another try.

So that’s where you found yourself, sitting on the edge of your bed, sharing at Calum’s contact, finger hovering over the call icon, trying to figure out where and how to start again with the man. And then your phone was buzzing in your hand, and you gasped. Had you accidentally hit the call button?! No. Calum was calling you. Confused, you hit accept. “Hey, Cal. What’s up?”

“Not much. Just had a quick question for ya.”

“Well I might have a quick answer for ya.”

You heard his soft chuckle and then a brief pause as he cleared his throat, and you knew he was pushing a hand through his hair, stemming whatever nerves this “question” was creating. “You got any dinner plans for Friday?”

“No. Why?”

“There’s this new place I’ve been wanting a try, and you know how I am about eating out alone. And it’s been a minute since just the two of us hung out. So I’ll pick you up at 7?”

You gave a small laugh at the rushed excuse, wondering what he was really up to. “Sure thing, Cal.”

“Cool. Oh, and uh, dress in something nice-ish? The restaurant’s kinda uppity.”

Another small laugh. “Alright, Cal. See you Friday then.”

~~~

“It’s just dinner. It’s just Cal,” you told your reflection as you finished getting ready. “Nothing you haven’t done a million times before,” you kept trying to calm the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. While you had a pretty good idea on what this dinner really was, you didn’t want to get your hopes up that Calum was having the same change of heart that you’d been having. The man really did hate eating alone at restaurants, and if the place was as upscale as he had told you, then it made sense that he’d rather bring you along than Ashton. And he had been right about it being a good while since it was just the two of you spending time together rather than a larger group outing.

But when Calum knocked on your door rather than texting that he was in your driveway, you couldn’t stop the blush coloring your cheeks. And when you opened the door to reveal the man on the other side, dressed sharply with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand, you felt your heart skip a beat. “Oh, Cal,” you breathed. “You didn’t have to do that,” you told him, taking the flowers and moving to put them in a vase of water.

“It’s how you deserve to be treated,” he said simply with a shrug as he leaned against your doorway.

“You’re too sweet to me, Hood,” you teased lightly. “Ready?”

“After you.”

When he went as far as to get the car door for you, you had to laugh. “Okay, Hood. What gives?”

“I told you. I’m treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Nah, there’s more. I can tell. C’mon. Spill it,” you pressed when he got in the driver’s seat. “Flowers. Getting the door. Dinner at a place that requires me to dress like this. You’re up to something.”

“You look stunning, by the way,” he said, reaching over to give your thigh a squeeze.

“Calum Thomas Hood.”

He sighed. “We were good, right? Like when we were together? It’s not my memory playing tricks on me?”

“You were the best boyfriend I ever had,” you answered honestly.

He nodded. “Okay. You’re not allowed to make fun of me. But since Mike got engaged, it’s gotten to me a bit. Almost like I’m missing out on something, but it’s weird because my life is already everything I want it to be. So what could I possibly be missing out on, you know?”

“Why would I make fun of you for that?”

“Because it’s a stupid ass reason to take you on a date.”

“Oh, is that what this is? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Ha-ha,” he deadpanned. “Look, I guess what I’m saying is, recent events made me reevaluate things in my life. And I think I’m in a better position than I was a few years ago to be a real partner to someone. And even when I wasn’t that person, you were the only one I could see myself becoming that person for. So… if you’re up for it, I’d really like for us to try again.”

Underneath the streetlight casting him in a soft reddish hue, he turned his head slightly to look over at you, brown eyes hopeful and solemn. When the light turned green, he turned his attention back to the road, but kept stealing glances over at you, still waiting for your response.

“I guess it’s only fair to let you know that I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

The corner of his mouth curved up in a smile. “Really?”

“Really,” you said with a soft smile and a small nod of your head. “I was actually hoping this was more on the date side than the friends grabbing a bite to eat side.”

“Good, because this is definitely a date.”

“Good,” you nodded again before leaning across the center console to press a kiss to his cheek, grinning as warmth spread across his face.

~3 Years Later~

You startled awake at a phone ringing nearby, a tangled mess of limbs and bedsheets. “Mmm?” Calum rasped, voice heavy with sleep as he answered the phone, followed by a quick, “Whoa, mate, stop yelling. You did what now?” There was a small pause as whoever was on the other end of the conversation spoke in a rapid flurry that you couldn’t decipher. “You did?!” Calum clarified whatever the news was, sitting up straight in bed, your head falling from his chest to his lap.

“Ow…” you giggled, shifting to sit up against the headboard like Calum was.

“Sorry,” Calum mouthed, listening intently to whoever he was still talking to, raising a finger for you to give him a minute when you raised an eyebrow in silent question. “That’s fuckin’ great, Luke! Congrats to the both of you. Lemme know what the plans are for celebrating and give Sierra a hug from me in the meantime, yeah? Alright. Talk to ya later, mate. Bye.”

“Well?” you demanded.

“Luke and Sierra are getting married. Or he proposed anyway, and she said yes.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, I’m really happy for them. Wow… first Mike, now Luke. We really aren’t the same kids we used to be, are we?”

“I think in some respect you guys still are. You still cling to those roots of who you used to be, the things that shaped you into the people you are now. But you guys are also growing up, too. It happens, Cal.”

“Yeah, no, I just… Wow. It’s not something I really pay much attention to, us growing up, until something like this happens.”

“The last time one of your band members got engaged, you got a case of feeling like you weren’t measuring up somehow. You’re not feeling that way now, are you?”

“No. Not at all. In fact… Luke said something when Mike told us he got engaged. That he wanted to go tell Sierra how much he loved her.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet.”

“Yeah, and at the time I made fun of him for it. But… I dunno… I get it. This type of shit really shifts things into perspective.”

“I mean, yeah. Last time it resulted in both of us thinking we should try being an ‘us’ again. What’s the perspective shifting to this time? You’re not gonna go out, and buy a ring, are you?”

“No, I already have one in my sock drawer.”

You choked. “What?”

He climbed out of bed with a laugh, making his way to the dresser and rummaging around in one of the top drawers. Then, something small was soaring through the air as he tossed whatever it was onto the bed towards you. “Told ya,” he said simply, as you grabbed the small box, popping the lid to find a ring inside.

“How long have you had this?” you asked, your voice a small whisper.

“Uh… 2016 I think,” he said as he rejoined you in bed.

“So, since the first time we dated?”

“Yep.”

“Calum!”

“What?” he laughed. “I told you our entire relationship, both then and now, that you’re the only person I see a future with. Did you think I was lying?”

“No! I- I just didn’t know you went so far as to get a ring, and keep it for 5 bloody years.”

“Well, it would have been a little weird if you had it all these years, considering… ya know.”

You laughed in a mix of disbelief and shock. “You are absolutely crazy.”

“I’m not actually proposing, you know that, yeah? I mean, yes, the ring is yours. But only if you want it to be. I love the life we have together, more so than I thought I could love any other version of my life. I never feel like I’m stuck in place, or missing something when I’m with you. I’ll be just as happy if you never wear that ring, as I would if you wore it every day for the rest of your life. You, me, Duke, and music is all I’m ever gonna need in life. I’ve known it since the first time I said I love you. Even in those years we thought chasing our careers was more important, you were still the only person I’ve ever been in love with.”

“Calum…” you breathed, your lip trembling.

“Shh, if you want the whole deal of the proposal and the picture perfect wedding, I’ll give that to you gladly. That’s what the ring’s for. But if you’re content with what we have now, this will always be enough for me, and that’s a promise.”

“I don’t want a proposal only because Luke and Sierra made you extra sentimental. I don’t want to take their moment away from them either.”

“That ring has been yours far longer than any extra sentiment our friends getting engaged could stir up, but I get what you’re saying. If/when you want it, say the word.”

“Ask me again in a year,” you decided. “And I mean really ask me. The whole deal.”

“I can’t fuckin’ wait,” he murmured as his lips crashed into yours, his hands cupping your face. “I’m so in love with you. Always have been. Always will be.”

__

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[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Cats 1986 (and Others) vs. 2016

A post I made a few months ago comparing information gathered from interviews with different Cats casts has come up again recently and I’ve heard even more interviews since, so I want to add on to that a little and elaborate on the things I’ve already said.

CW: Some of the language regarding Demeter’s backstory is a bit darker than I’ve previously mentioned

So, I’ve now heard interviews from US Tours III, IV, and V, spanning from 1986 to 2012. They’re all Broadway-based, and the Broadway Revival went in a very different direction, but the three tours were all very similar to each other.

In both the tours and in 2016, the cast was sat down before rehearsals to hear the “story of Cats”. However, this meant two completely different things. The Tour casts were told the plot of the show, who their characters were and what they were meant to be doing. The 2016 was told the story of how the show Cats was created, how ALW had the idea and made a show out of it. No mention of the story and characters. This means that the Tour casts were given useful information for building their characters, while the 2016 cast got something that was interesting but did nothing to help them do their jobs in the present. More emphasis was put on the show’s legacy than on how to actually perform it. Trevor Nunn did the 2016 explaining, I believe, and it sounds like he was on an ego trip, talking about what he did instead of what the cast was supposed to do. Trevor Nunn is one of the few people who knows how the show works, so this is quite frustrating.

Though the Tour cast was given a whole story, most of them only remembered the perspectives of their own characters. The point of learning the plot was so that they knew what they were doing. It wasn’t supposed to matter to the audience. So, everyone mainly focused on their own jobs. But, everyone knew Demeter’s backstory, because it was the first thing they were told and it caught their attention. It almost became a meme that the first sentence of the plot was “Demeter was raped by Macavity”.

The story begins with Demeter having just escaped from Macavity. He kidnapped and raped her. Though she didn’t want it, she kind of enjoyed the sex, which messed with her head quite a bit. Bomba went through the exact same thing, but because she enjoyed it, she acts like the whole thing was nothing more than an annoyance. The two react to the same situation in different ways.

Jacob Brent was either given a toned down version of the story (he mentions kidnapping, but not rape), or he chose to give a toned down version to avoid the uncomfortable subject. 

The 2016 knew that Macavity and Demeter had some sort of backstory, but they weren’t very clear on exactly what happened. They decided that they’d had an abusive relationship, but that the whole thing was consensual and there was no kidnapping, because the only element of this story that the audience can pick up without context is that there was some sort of sexual relationship between Macavity and Demeter, but she’s now afraid of him.

At least one cast member said that Macavity was a rapist, but she didn’t elaborate.

This messed with Demeter’s character far more than anyone expected. The rape element honestly isn’t necessary. Demeter and Macavity had some sort of sex, but it could’ve been consensual, with Demeter enjoying the sex but hating the man. That’s actually what Gillian Lynne seemed to have implied in interviews. However, the kidnapping part of the backstory is important, because it establishes the connection between Demeter and Grizabella. While hiding from Macavity, right before the story begins, Demeter sees Grizabella on the Bad Side of Town. Due to not being a Jellicle before this night, she doesn’t know who she is, and therefore has no bias against her. She just sees this woman living on the streets, humans wondering aloud why she isn’t dead, and felt sympathy for her. 

So, when Grizabella appears at the ball and everyone hates her, Demeter wants to intervene, but she doesn’t want to upset her new friends. She came to the Jellicles for protection and is afraid of them rejecting her for siding with their enemy. Still, she tells the tribe what she knows about Griz, possibly trying to convince them to be nicer to her, but it doesn’t work and Demeter just starts following the crowd.

The lyrics Demeter sings, by themselves, are musical exposition that doesn’t imply sympathy. A line like “You’d really have thought she’d ought to be dead” sounds like it could be played as an insult. The words can either mean “I’m surprising the poor thing’s still alive in her condition” or “Why can’t the bitch fuck off and die already?”. Without the context of Demeter’s backstory, Kim Faure picked the latter, when with the context, it’s clearly meant to be the former. So, Demeter’s delivery of her lines in Glamour Cat in 2016 is venomous, almost sadistic.

Later on, towards the end of act one, 2016 Demeter reaches out to Grizabella like she does in most other versions, despite the earlier delivery. What made her change gears? I have no idea.

So, there was a lot of insight on Demeter. She’s the character with the most detailed backstory, making her the closest thing the show has to a protagonist. 

Another character that gets a lot of attention, as he demands, is Tugger. Many Tugger actors were interviewed. I think he’s the favorite character of the host of the podcast. Different Tuggers from different eras responded to certain topics differently. Tuggers from the 1980s were unaware that Tugger was commonly interpreted as Not Straight and that Tuggoffelees is a thing. But, the more recent the show their from, the more they’re aware of and interested in the topic. The Tour V Tugger joined very late, during the last few years of the tour. He had access to the internet and could see what the fandom was up to. He played Tugger as ambiguously bi and, though he hadn’t thought of it at the time, liked the idea of the Tuggoffelees pairing. Tyler Hanes, 2016 Tugger, was the only one interviewed who played Tuggoffelees on purpose.

Tyler Hanes was very interesting. He watched the 1998 film while preparing for the role and didn’t seem to like it very much. He wanted his version of Tugger to be his own and avoided taking inspiration from any other version. John Partridge’s Tugger and Hanes’ Tugger being so different from each other might’ve been deliberate.

But, the choreography is what really messed with Tugger’s character. The host of the podcast mentioned Tugger’s pelvic thrusts and Hanes said that he wanted to do that sort of thing, but the new choreography removed all of it. He couldn’t make Tugger as horny or sexy as he wanted to. It was a key part of the character, but the choreography just wouldn’t let it happen. The result is that a bunch of queens fangirl over Tugger, but because Tugger’s defining trait in his number is being vain and obnoxious, the reason why he, of all toms, is considering the sexiest is completely lost. He’s just a dick to everyone (except Misto) and they love him anyway. 

Other Tuggers do act like assholes during the number, but it’s not the focus. The lyrics are about Tugger being difficult, but the choreography, often to a comedic degree, isn’t about that. The message of Lynne’s choreography is that DESPITE Tugger being obnoxious, he’s a sex god and that’s what matters to his fans. Blankenbuehlers’s choreography mainly focuses on Tugger being obnoxious, which is a better match to the lyrics, but it makes the character less likable.

Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The two most sexualized numbers are Tugger’s and Macavity’s. Tugger’s number is about a man being sexy. Macavity’s number has two women being sexy. Blankenbuehler redid Tugger’s number, toning down the sexuality, but he left Macavity alone completely, so it’s as sexual as it always is. Male sexuality needs to be toned down, but female sexuality is fine. This is what happens when a woman is replaced with a straight dude. I doubt it was done on purpose, but there was definitely some subconscious bias going on there.

The way the casts talk about the two choreographers is also different. Both of them are treated as the experts on the show, more like how a director is normally treated. But, how well they filled that role varied. Lynne could explain what every single move meant. Those who worked with her knew exactly what they were doing. Nobody has ever described any of Blankenbuehler’s choreography with the same detail. In numbers in 2016 that Blankenbuehler left alone, even without Lynne present at all, everything was clearly explained. Skimble actors, since Skimble’s number wasn’t altered much, describe people who’d worked with Lynne talking them through the choreography. No one talked about Blankenbuehler’s work like that. Every move of Lynne’s Jellicle Ball apparently represented something. Blankenbuehler’s Jellicle Ball looks fine, but there isn’t that level of detail.

The rehearsals of the the choreography were paced differently as well. 2016 was apparently put together in something of a hurry. Most Cats rehearsals begin with several days of the cast studying cats and learning how to move like them. 2016 devoted only a few hours to this. Gillian Lynne reportedly visited a rehearsal and was upset the none of the dancers knew how to move like cats. Cats has unique choreography in a unique cat-like style, but the 2016 team had no time to practice it, so they often come across as a bit too human. They’re talented human dancers, but they’re not very cat-like. Blankenbuehler’s choreography is often in a different, more modern urban style, that doesn’t seem like it was done with cat-like movement in mind.

I don’t hate Blankenbuehler. In behind the scenes stuff, he seems like a nice guy that the team liked working with. But, I don’t think he really understood what his role was. He was a choreographer and he did choreography. This would’ve been fine, even great for any other show, but not Cats.

Most modern musical theatre is based on opera. Characters sing about their feelings and that tells the story. The added element of dance takes the feelings of the song and amplifies them. The actors are emoting with their entire bodies in a larger-than-life way that creates an emotional intensity that audiences can empathize with. The music makes the audience feel what the characters are feeling in a way nothing else really can. Music is kind of magical. You hear a certain melody with certain instruments, and suddenly you���re happy, or sad, or angry.

This, by the way, is why going for realism in musicals is a terrible idea. Musicals don’t exist in physical reality. They exist on an emotional level that realism takes away from.

Cats rarely works like opera. The lyrics are mainly just adaptations of whimsical poems, so they don’t tell you much of anything. Memory, which features original lyrics and no dancing is an exception to this rule. In general, because they’re not dance roles, Grizabella and Old Deuteronomy have to use music and song lyrics to play their parts in the story. Jemima also does this whenever she does something connected to either one of them.

But, Cats is normally more of a ballet than an opera. Ballet tells a story purely through dance. Because the lyrics in Cats matter so rarely, it ends up working like a ballet, because the dance, unrelated to the poems, means something. It’s still a heightened reality where music invokes emotions and actors emote with their whole bodies, like in other musicals, but instead of the dance being an amplifier, it’s the storyteller.

ALW really liked a bunch of poems and wanted to put them to music. The result was a bunch of songs with a similar them but no real connection to each other. That works as a concept album, but Webber wanted a musical, an actual show where people danced to his concept album. He didn’t care about the story and didn’t expect anyone else to.

But, other people cared about the story. No one knew how to make a musical that’s not about something. Trevor Nunn added Memory and the storyline with Grizabella as an emotional centerpiece. There wasn’t a clear plot, but, on an emotional level, it now felt like something was actually happening. Gillian Lynne had no idea how to choreograph a musical about nothing, so she didn’t. She came up with her own interpretations of things and made the show about something. Several somethings, in fact. Victoria is going through puberty and discovering her sexuality. Demeter is recovering from an abusive sexual experience, with Bomba having a different attitude towards being in the same situation. The women in the story were given detailed story arcs that often revolved around their sexuality.

How sexuality is portrayed in Cats could be its own essay. 

Anyway, Cats tells its story with a unique style of choreography. Because the choreographer is the story teller, Lynne had a lot of influence over the show. She was the one who knew all the details. Blankenbuehler was brought in to choreograph a show, like a normal job for him, not knowing what that would actually mean. He came in to have dance amplify the emotions in the song lyrics like in any other musical, not knowing that that’s impossible to do with Cats. The role of choreographer meant a level of knowledge and control that would normally belong to the director, composer, and lyricist. He didn’t realize that the show having any story at all depended on him.

So, he did stuff that looked cool, but didn’t tell the story, or that took the story in a direction that it wasn’t supposed to go. Tugger dancing in front of a giant mirror is funny in the moment, but that sort of narcissism, though funny, isn’t likable, and Tugger needs to be likable. He’s a major character and he helps save the day at the end by hyping up Misto. But, 2016 Tugger hypes up Misto because if feels like Misto is the only cat he truly respects. He has the same respect for Old Deuteronomy that the others have, but he doesn’t sound quite as sincere when he sings about him. He spends so much of his number antagonizing Munkustrap in particular that it’s hard to believe that he has any respect for him.

What can be learned from these interviews is that Blankenbuehler didn’t know what his job truly was and was there because someone important thought Cats would be more popular in 2016 if it was more like Hamilton and got the Hamilton guy to give it a make-over. Nunn was so proud of the show’s success that he neglected what made it successful in the first place, and the 2016 cast was rushed through rehearsals without proper instructions. Everyone tried their best, but they were all stuck.

For the most part, I blame whoever decided to have Blankenbuehler rechoreograph the show. Blankenbuehler did what he thought his job was and the cast did their jobs to the best of their ability. What really ruined Cats 2016 was an executive decision to fix something that wasn’t broken, believing if they made the Old Big Show more like the New Big Show, that would make people love it again. But Hamilton is no more like Cats than a cat is like a dog.

[bisexual-books]

Dustin’ off the ole blog (or why I don’t feel bad for Becky Albertali)

Hey guys.  Wow.  Its been like two years since anybody posted here and three since I wrote anything of substance?  In my defense I adopted a teen so life got super duper busy around that time, but now that I’ve (mostly) sorted out the day to day parenting stuff, I’m back.  At least for today.  Because whooo boy do I have A LOT thoughts and feelings about the situation with Becky Albertali.  

So let’s jump right in : I don’t feel bad for Becky Albertali .  Not at all.  I think she is wrong and am not moved by her medium post.  I think Gabby Dunn is on the right track to criticize her and I would like do so as well because I think she is wrong.  

What Albertali (and her twitter fans) seem to willfully ignore in her medium piece is that readers don’t side-eye straight authors without good reason.  We do it because over and over and over again, straight authors do a shit job of writing about queer issues, creating realistic queer characters, and discussing queer issues.  How does an author earn the ability to avoid that side-eye? How do they avoid questions, comments, and concerns about their ability to do those things in their writing?  By being an open and proud member of the queer community ie coming out.  Coming out is important and difficult work in a fundamentally heterosexist society, and hence is rewarded as such by our community.   If you don’t do that work, why exactly should I or any other queer person give you that cachet?  

Fundamentally I see Becky Albertali wanting the socio-emotional bennies of queer author status, without doing the work of coming out.  And I’m just not finding much sympathy for that. She is not owed the benefit of the doubt by readers, particularly queer readers.  She has to earn it.  Yes, it probably was difficult for her to be questioned about her orientation while questioning, but those questions are reasonable and legitimate.  

Queer readers don’t just sit around like a dragon hording legitimacy and saying ‘mwhahaha’ to poor little straight authors.  We do this as a self-protection mechanism with good reason. We’ve experienced characters that are just a grab bag of stereotypes.  We’ve been gutted when straight authors we trusted as allies say horribly offensive things.  We’ve read arguments about queer people that bear no resemblance to our real lives and we’ve literally cried ourselves to sleep over disappointing, nasty, rude, offensive, and heartbreaking books (at least I have).  

If Becky Albertali and her defenders want to make life easier on queer authors, then instead of blaming queer readers for asking those questions, they need to interrogate why those questions need to be asked and how to reduce that need.

Instead I see Albertali in her medium piece blaming queer readers for needing to protect themselves, for needing to side-eye, for needing the explicit power of #ownvoices and support of out authors.  I don’t see her piece putting rightful, blame on straight people and straight culture that created these situations in the first place.  Blaming queer readers for daring to question her is a pernicious type of victim blaming, and I have no time or patience for that.  We erect these walls to protect our own hearts and souls, not because we’re big meanies.  If you don’t want to be on the wrong side of the wall, then help dismantle the need for it.  Don’t blame us for its existence. 

I’ve seen some people on twitter say this is somehow gatekeeping or cutting people off from exploring/discovering their queerness in art.  And I think that argument is off base.  No one was preventing Alberteli from making her art.  She could have written in a notebook or on Smashwords for all the days of her life.  People can make a dozen deviantart accounts or twitter accounts or AO3 accounts or tumblr accounts or discord servers and post their queer art creations all over the internet while they work out their queer feelings.  It is easy and free and no one is stopping anyone else from doing so. 

However I think when you cross the line from creating your queer art to profiting off your queer art, something fundamentally changes.  The stakes go up.  Queer readers need to know so they can decide who to trust with their hard earned cash.  We live in capitalism, man.  If you think that sucks, help dismantle that too. 

Albertali looked back in her piece, so I also want to cast back to early 2015, when Albertali first published Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda.  Bi YA author Corrine Duyvis woudn’t coin the term/hastag #ownvoices until September of that year.  And it was A LOT easier to get a YA book with LGBTQ characters published if you were straight.  How do I know that?  Because it was like pulling teeth to find queer authors writing queer characters outside of small queer presses.  I was hardcore book blogging at that time.  The mainstream publishing industry side-eyed YA/kidlit queer authors, especially those who were less polished due to poverty/educational attainment/systemic racism/disability, to favor straight white authors with post-graduate degrees along with a handful of token queer authors that were already a part of the publishing industry.  This was slowly changing but it hadn’t changed that much.  It was still easier to get a queer YA published as a straight person.

And Albertali knowingly entered into and profited off that system.   

She literally has cash in the bank off the publication of the book Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda, the subsequent film that became Love Simon, the subsequent book reprints and merchandise under the name Love Simon and the subsequent Love Victor show on Hulu.  They sold Love Simon shirts at Hot Topic for $20 for crying out loud.  She was able to obtain that money, prominence, and influence because she presented herself as a straight woman.

There is no comparable story in queer authorland because queer authors are simply not given the opportunity to turn their queer novels into multimedia cash cow franchises.  The closest thing I can think of is Armistand Maupin’s ‘Tales of the City‘ and that took 20 years to be made into a tv miniseries with subsequent books.  That was 27 years ago and to my knowledge, no one sold shirts.  So for most of my/ Albertali’s lifetime, there has been no viable path to create a queer media empire as a queer author.  None. 

Until Albertali did it while pretending to be a straight girl.  

She says that she legitimately did not know she was queer when Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda was published or when Leah on the Offbeat was written.  It does suck that she had to figure that out while living such a public life and I feel bad that it was hard.  But honestly it sucks for everyone to figure that out.  It sucks to figure that out as an isolated teen or a professional adult.  Its just an emotionally grueling process.  Wanna make it better for future people?  Again work to disable heterosexism and heterocentrism in wider society.  Blaming queer people for that heterosexism and heterocentrism, and chiding them for not giving you unearned benefits of the doubt doesn’t do anything to disable those systems.  No one forced you to sign a movie deal or do a ton of interviews, you did that all on your own.  Ignorance of the consequences of your own actions doesn’t exempt you from having to deal with them.  

Only very very recently has the publishing landscape shifted so #ownvoices is a selling point instead of a liability.  Only very very recently (and I would argue very minimally) has the publishing industry valued #ownvoices authors enough to nurture and polish their skills with open submissions and contests for people who don’t have grad degree levels of writing skills.  And Albertali is upset at being excluded from this?  When she literally has the educational privileges of a doctorate and significantly more money than the average queer author has made in my lifetime?  

The closet sucks but no one forced Albertali to stay in it and queer people didn’t create it.  She chose to publish and license her work to reap the benefits, and as such also reaps the consequences.  Apparently one such consequence was that it was personally difficult for her to understand her sexuality and her mental health was poor.  Well.... until we can disassemble heteropatriarchy that is the world we live in.  Get your queer house in order before you go pro and open yourself up to real reactions from queer readers.  But if like Albertali, you don’t do that while choosing more and more publicity and raking in wheelbarrows full of cash, well, don’t expect much sympathy from me.  

- Sarah 

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners Part IV

~Or~

A Very Amused Review of Emma (1972)

One doesn’t really know where to begin with this one. I’ve watched a few of these 70’s/80’s period drama adaptations, but I’ve never written a review for one. I think the tricky thing is it doesn’t feel fair to judge them against more recent adaptations because the approach and quality are so very different to modern television making.

But people do. I’m sure it’s different for people who grew up watching these, who are just used to them and their objectively terrible, stagey quality and can look past that particular weakness on the sheer power of nostalgia.

So I’m going to try and find a middle-ground here where I ignore the stagey and obviously dated aspects and judge it primarily on its value as an adaptation – is it faithful to the book?

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Normally I would start with Emma and Knightley but this time I’m gonna switch it up a bit and do them last because… well we’ll get there in a bit.

Let’s start instead with Mr. Woodhouse. I have to say, I kind of like this take. The 1996-7 and 2009 adaptations all kind of went for the same type of older man: a bit stout, or in Michael Gambon’s case… however you would describe Michael Gambon. With Donald Eccles, however, this version goes for a rather more frail looking Mr. Woodhouse; in fact to compare him to any recent Mr. Woodhouse, I suppose he comes closest to Bill Nighy (although the general characterization is of course very different.)  He’s a ridiculous but lovable soul who seems always, of course, worried about his own health and comfort, but in his own selfish way, concerned for his friends and family as well. My only complaint is that maybe they over-utilized him.

I thought the casting of a plump Mrs. Weston (Ellen Dryden) was an interesting choice, and definitely different from other versions. Her acting was actually really good too.

I wasn’t quite so pleased with the characterization of Mr. Weston, on the other hand. I have huge issues with this script vis-à-vis the men, but Mr. Weston and Knightley in particular. The problem with Mr. Weston is how he’s written as just verging on uncouth at some points. There are way too many rustic contractions here: “Ain’t I looking well too, Miss Emma?!’ “’Ark at that eh? The sly young rogue!” “Oh I think it looks tolerably gay and festive, don’t it?” and then just throwing himself back on the grass and chortling when Emma makes her fateful Box Hill faux pas? Like, what the hell? I’m not saying he shouldn’t use a few casual contractions (“How d’you do?” for example) but he seems almost like a positive country bumpkin and I don’t think it’s appropriate; he doesn’t talk like that in the book and I’m just all-around not here for it.

Constance Chapman, a well-respected character actress of the time was cast as Miss Bates, while Molly Sugden, of Are You Being Served? fame was WASTED in the bit-part of Mrs. Goddard. If you ask me, they should have swapped this casting, since I think Sugden, an outstanding comedienne, could have done so much more with the Miss Bates role than the usual wittery-old-lady style chattering Chapman delivered.

Mr. Elton was played by Timothy Peters (Right) and was, eh, adequate. They did slime him up a bit by having him over-eagerly offer to fix Emma’s bootlace, which she points out isn’t entirely appropriate for a man to do, especially the vicar and it’s pretty funny; but other than that, he has all the appearance of being a pleasant young man, as Mr. Elton should – becoming less pleasant as the story progresses.

One John Alkin (left) played Mr. Robert Martin, and he, too, was adequate. There’s not much of him and, since Mr. Martin wasn’t one of those characters this version decided to approach more three-dimensionally, there’s not much to say about him. 

Frank Churchill is… OMG IT’S PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER!

Ahem. Yes, Robert East (BETTER KNOWN AS PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER) plays a very agreeable (and smarmy, but not too smarmy) Frank. I think honestly this is as good as this part could get in the 70’s, although at 29 he was a little too old for the part.

John and Isabella, in an interesting (?) casting choice, were played by brother and sister duo, Yves and Belinda Tighe. I actually really liked Yves’s John Knightley (he’s actually one of the more handsome John’s, in a 70’s kind of way; for note-taking purposes I have nicknamed him “Not-Harrison-Ford”), but his sister as Isabella seemed kind of old and had just a really annoying voice. Also she doesn’t look at all like Doran Godwin, and Emma and Isabella are supposed to look somewhat alike.

The real casting stand out for me in this version is Fiona Walker as Mrs. Elton, although she too was a little old for her role, I’ve said before that there are no bad Mrs. Eltons (only bad accents) and she just absolutely nailed the insufferable chatter to a definitive standard (until the recent adaptations – 2009 onward).

I did however, get the feeling in this version that they kind of wrote in a through-line where Mrs. Elton is putting the moves on Mr. Knightley (to the point where they actually wrote out Mr. Elton from scenes he should be in) which was one of those unnecessary deviations which made me raise an eyebrow and also was just… weird.

Now my question is – why do all of the young women in this series kind of look like evil dolls?

Debbie Bowen, from a strictly book accuracy perspective is one of the most accurate Harriet Smiths I’ve seen – in fact we don’t get another this accurate (to my way of thinking) until Louise Dylan in 2009, who fits roughly the same model (fair and shapely). Its Bowen’s acting I don’t like, but I know that in the 70’s, this kind of simpering acting for this kind of character was just unavoidable. It was the style at the time, so I’m cutting her a break critically; but the performance just doesn’t cut it for me.

This Jane Fairfax (played by Ania Marson) is not my favorite interpretation of this character. At first I thought she was going to be alright, but in her first scene she bursts out and actually shouts in frustration at her chattering aunt (which she has some basis for, I’ll admit, since Miss Bates, in her muddle-headed way, could very well have unwittingly spilled the beans about Jane and Frank) but this is far more feeling than we should even have a hint of from Jane at this point. The whole reason Emma doesn’t like Jane (other than the fact that Emma is an attention whore and Jane steals her thunder by being so admired and accomplished) is because she’s timid and demure and reserved.

But the biggest problem I have with this Jane is that she can’t even fucking sing. I know they write it away as her having a sore throat (Which I think is a pull from a different part of the book?) but this was just egregiously bad to me. This is the only time in the series they show Jane singing so it’s never actually established that Jane really is more accomplished than Emma (although they don’t show Emma herself singing or even playing at all either.) Could the actresses just not sing well so they decided to write around it? You could have dubbed it; you had that technology in the 70’s!

OK. Now it’s time to talk about Doran Godwin. I’ve never seen her in anything else so I don’t know if it’s just that she can’t act, but I have no idea what she was going for with this portrayal of Emma, and this is something so consistent and unique to her that I, for once, can’t justify blaming it solely on the director because you can’t direct crazy-eyes. They just happen; and they happen A LOT in this series.

I’ve struggled to find the words to sufficiently describe my feeling about Doran Godwin’s facial expressions and her acting in this adaptation. In my ribbon rating notes I think I describe her as a “witchy automaton”? I stand by it. Every time she talks to someone her eyes go very wide and she sort of looks like she’s trying to hypnotize everyone in Highbury. The effect is just absolutely inhuman. I never thought I’d ever see anyone with more patently crazed Crazy-Eyes than Timothy “Crazy-Eyes” Dalton – but man, Doran “Hypno-Witch” Godwin just stole the prize. Perhaps she escaped from the set of a Doctor Who? telling of the story where Miss Woodhouse has been replaced by an android.

You have scenes such as this in episode 2 , where Harriet is trying to get Emma to acknowledge Mr. Elton calling after them as they walk past the vicarage, and Emma ignores her by mechanically continuing to talk, looking straight ahead with laser focus. Of course, Emma is intentionally ignoring Harriet because she wants Mr. Elton to follow them, but that wasn’t quite apparent to me until the end of her ramble – which I had assumed she was forced to complete due to some directive in her programming. I have more to say on her characterization, but we’ll get to that in a dedicated section of the review.

John Carson might actually be one of the better Knightley’s, but I’m sorry – at 45 he was just too old. This is something you can play around with in other characters (Mr. Weston and Miss Bates after all, have no stated ages in the book) but not only do we know how old Mr. Knightley is in the book, they state in the show that Emma is 21 (Doran Godwin was actually 28) and that Mr. Knightley is sixteen years older than her – 37 or 38 – and John Carson is CLEARLY no 38. This obviously-over-forty appearance does have an effect on how I view his banter with Emma, and it’s more avuncular than the older-brother feel that Mr. Knightley and Emma should have.

Whether by direction or actor’s choice, Carson’s Mr. Knightley speaks in a way that just doesn’t feel period to me. He has a very sort of 20th Century, stock British, hearty-good-fellow manner, that dates this adaptation pretty badly and feels old-fashioned (but not in a Regency/Georgian way) even in the 70’s.

Sets & Surroundings

Normally at this point in the review I would talk about the British manor houses and estates used and how they measure up to the book descriptions but the publicly funded BBC ran on a much tighter budget in the 70’s (apparent in the production values and number of obviously bad takes that they just decided to leave in, in everything they made) and as such they couldn’t afford to film in and rent out large estates quite as much, so this has the trademark 70’s/80’s BBC sound-stage quality of all of their other productions of the period. That said, this production actually has some of the better sets I’ve seen and that’s saying something, for being made in the 70’s. The walls didn’t actually shake when doors were closed, and it didn’t feel as stagey as some other Austen serials of the time. (This doesn’t improve the very “on-cue” acting in the series, but I have to give credit where it’s due.) I believe they may used a real manor house for the exterior of Hartfield (and not a landscape pastel) and maybe some of the interiors too? I can’t say for sure, and I would love to tell you what house and where it is but I can’t find any credits on it. I’ll just say that I think it’s very suitable and leave it at that.

Costumes

Much like today, the BBC almost exclusively used, re-used and rented costumes for their period productions. Almost every costume in this series was also used in the 70’s and 80’s BBC productions of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice (P&P being the overwhelming common denominator – almost every one of Emma’s evening dresses and pelisses was seen, primarily on Caroline Bingley.) Some of the shawls have been picked out in BBC Austens as recently as 2008.

For being made in the 70’s the costumes in this production are really kind of nice. They don’t date themselves too badly. The ones that do feel 70’s retro, in fact, were mostly styles borrowed from period accurate fashions that just happened to coincide with contemporary 70’s tastes, and which aren’t often used in Regency costumes today because, well they don’t coincide with our modern tastes. For the most part, they look well-made (although some of them do have that stiff, dingy polyester look to them and there are definitely some plastic pearls here and there).

I’m quite pleased with the silhouettes which don’t suffer from Square Bust/Boob Droop syndrome the way the 1980 P&P does. All of the assets seem to be lifted and shifted in the right places.

Daywear

I like Emma’s blue day dress the best of all her day-wear looks. It’s a rich color and has pleated cups (Also on her white day dress) which is a style I really love.

Emma wears the gauzy… let’s be kind and say ivory instead of “Yellowish” ruff during the day A LOT (Emma Pic 2). It’s a popular look on Jane Fairfax too (Jane Pic 2) and I just… I don’t like it. Not that it’s not period appropriate (because it unfortunately is) it just makes them look like Dr. Seuss characters to me, especially worn with short sleeves which is something these dramas do a lot and I hate it. It just makes the person in question look very awkwardly disproportionate to me, especially because. if they had long sleeves to go with it (which would be more correct from a historical authenticity standpoint) it would even it out so much better. Compare Jane and Emma to see what I mean. The single layer ruffle (Emma Pic 1) is much more agreeable to me. (I wanna point out that Jane wears the same green dress without any partlet or undersleeves for strawberry picking at Donwell, which is blatant Eveningwear-For-Daywear™ and looked really out of place since everyone else was wearing day-appropriate attire).

Emma’s wider, cuffed, long sleeves and Mrs. Elton’s puffy segmented Renaissance sleeves are exactly what I mean about period accurate styles that suit the 70’s in a way that they just don’t jive today. Even Harriet gets some.

Mrs. Elton Orange ™ is another crayon color Crayola should consider I think.

Harriet gets stuck with a lot of brown outer wear but her day clothes are otherwise pretty nice. I especially like the ivory and blue number (Bottom right) and her white day dress with blue accents (Top right) which I think is the nicest thing she wears in this whole series. 

Evening Wear

Emma’s evening wear confines itself pretty exclusively to cool purples and blues except for her white ball gown. I find this interesting because other versions tend to dress Emma in warmer colors and pinks (As I’m very partial to purples and blues, I love all of them). I can’t say it’s inconsistent with Emma’s cold characterization in this version. Mrs. Weston’s evening gowns are uniformly amazing. I especially love her blue party dress, which is my favorite in the series.

Both of Harriet’s party dresses are characteristically pretty and girlish. The pink is a bit fussy for me but I love the blue one (which has a lot more detail but I couldn’t get a full length shot of it.)

I’m pleased that Jane is given a bit of a break from the Jane Fairfax Blue ™ trope with her evening wear. She has one light blue evening gown and gets a few green numbers, most notable being her mint ball gown. Her beige party dress is absolutely tragic though.

Mrs. Elton’s evening color seems to be chartreuse (Which I think was also the case in the ITV version? ITV fans back me up.) Her black overlay/spiky number is iconic of the Austen Bad Girl, but her ball gown is a bit disappointing in its simplicity to me.

I would love to have seen a full length shot of Isabella’s black and purple number because I have a suspicion THAT would have been my favorite but I just can’t make out enough detail on it.

Zig-zag patterns on the skirt are a huge theme in this version, which is so of the period. Mrs. Cole (shout out to another future Are You Being Served? familiar, Hilda Fenemore) looks straight out of a fashion plate in her dark green party dress, which has (drumroll please…) a padded hem! 

Outerwear

This version has SO MANY PELISSES AND REDINGOTES. Are they all nice? No. No they are not; I particularly hate Emma’s fugly salmon number that she wears for Strawberry picking/Box Hill. Mostly because she looks SO over-dressed compared to everyone else who’s wearing loose fitting light clothes (except Jane, who’s wearing an evening dress). Just looking at her makes me hot. I’m also NOT a huge fan of her pink winter cloak. The one trimmed with… faux ermine? One can only assume. It looks awfully tacky.

That russet pelisse tho! This is one of my all-time favorites. It’s SO. PRETTY and so detailed (See this number on Jane in P&P ’80). I think her gray fur-trimmed pelisse is pretty fabulous too, but I do not like the hat she wears with it. The brim is kind of a funky shape to me.

I know I’ve criticized brown before, but I do like it in moderation and this version is astonishingly brown-free for being made in the 70’s, so I really like her red/brown velvet spencer, especially with the cream dress and gloves, and her hat has some amazing decoration.

Jane and Mrs. Weston are the only other characters who get pelisses/redingotes. I’m not a fan of Mrs. Weston’s fuchsia number, and while I like Jane’s, it does put itself solidly in the Jane Fairfax Blue™ category.  

Harriet gets pretty much only one form of outer-wear, her brown school cloak (a different brown school cloak from the one in the ‘97 version, in case you were wondering) and while it’s pretty dull, it’s hardly unexpected. Here it is paired with her rather ugly blue bonnet, with yellow ribbon. The bonnet features heavily in this episode.

To be honest for the most part I totally forgot about the… 

because a lot of it is very standard. No dandy standouts here, but overall it’s pretty okay and I’m really pleased to say that there are no bib-cravats. That’s not usually so much a problem in Regency Era stuff (Since ruffles were going out at around this time), but you can really distinctly see that the ruffles (where ruffles there are – usually on older men which is good) are part of the shirt and distinctly separate from the cravat. Also there are LOTS of high collars and they’re not comically high to the point where they get wrinkled, like they were in Emma. (2020), so points for that also. These are the screencaps I gathered going back over it for posterity.

Mr. Knightley doesn’t really get a lot of cool outfits. His best is his purple velvet evening jacket which somehow manages to not look ostentatious (but is his only dress jacket), and his gold-topped Prussian boots (which you should just be able to see bottom right.) The worst though… I’m sorry, (looks up costumer’s name) Joan Ellacott – do you really expect me to feel the weight of Emma’s cock-ups when Mr. Knightley is rebuking her in such a cartoonishly proportioned top hat? It’s like being scolded by the Mad Hatter. All of the men’s hats are pretty flared in this series too, and I’m not totally sure but, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that flared top hats are not right for this period?

I think Mr. Weston only has one day outfit (which, in keeping with his characterization is pretty farmer-chic) and one evening outfit. Frank’s dark green day-jacket is a pretty standard look on him and I don’t think we get a fresh look until his fabulous blue jacket/yellow waistcoat combo that he wears for Strawberry Picking/Box Hill. I believe his evening jacket is also dark green but it was tough to tell. Again I think he has only one set of evening-wear. I would expect Frank to have more, since he’s such a dandy.

Mr. John Knightley doesn’t have much to write home about in terms of evening kit, but DAYUM, his blue traveling coat is DOOOOOPE. 

Let’s Talk Script

This adaptation was directed by John Glenister and Dramatized by Denis Constanduros.

Now I’ve seen a lot of positive reviews for this on IMDB calling it the… let’s see here… “The best Emma I’ve ever seen” and “The most true to the novel”… *Takes off spectacles and sighs heavily* I’m afraid I have to disagree. Several people also really love Doran Godwin’s Emma (We’ve already gone over why I don’t, and I have also seen reviews that name her and her lack of charisma as the main sticking point preventing them from really enjoying it, so I’m not alone). I’ve also heard it described as “sensitively handled” “Intimate” and “The most faithful to the spirit of Austen” and so forth, and again maybe it’s that prejudice against the stagey production and… no there’s definitely some other reason I have a problem with this version.

Let me make this clear – I don’t totally hate it, and I’m not here to shame the people who really love this version. Once again – if this version gives you what you want from the story I think that’s great for you. I, myself, like it pretty well and I think it’s one of the better early BBC Austen serials. It’s certainly not boring; but I do want to go over some of the changes that were made and choices in the script.

Some of them aren’t really that egregious, but they’re annoying in that I think they didn’t need to be made and don’t really add anything. Characters being added to scenes where they didn’t need to be and written out of scenes where their presence was missed. Like writing Mr. Elton out of Box Hill (And really the whole second half of the series, to facilitate Mrs. Elton flirting with Knightley), and adding Miss Bates into the after-dinner scene, I think at the Randalls Christmas party? I’m sure this was done for expediency but you have six episodes. It’s not as though you’re strapped for time.

Particularly praised, as far as I’ve seen, is the scene at Christmas when Knightley and Emma make up after their argument over Harriet. It takes place in the nursery, which I suppose isn’t an unreasonable place for Emma to be fawning over her niece (in the dramatization she seems to have been feeding the baby, where in the book she is playing with her). The book doesn’t specify where the scene takes place, although I assumed it to be a downstairs room, and I’m not sure that it’s entirely appropriate for Emma and a man (even one connected to her family through marriage) to be alone in an upstairs room together with the door closed and no more chaperone than a baby. But in spite of this, perhaps inappropriate, level of privacy, the scene feels less intimate to me than the book, where in the course of the conversation, where Mr. Knightley takes the baby from Emma “in the manner of perfect amity” and holds her himself and it is very adorable and sweet. In the dramatization, Knightley sort of just stands next to Emma’s chair and leans down a bit. After this conversation in the book, John comes into the room to talk to George, while in the show Emma puts the baby in the cradle and they leave the room to go downstairs.

But there are more outstanding changes that just feel wrong to me. When confronting Emma about her meddling in Harriet’s response to Mr. Martin’s proposal, Constanduros changes “What is the foolish girl about?” to “What is the stupid girl about?” it’s not that big a change, but it makes Mr. Knightley sound unnecessarily mean.

I’ve already mentioned the, er, additions regarding Mr. Weston’s dialogue and Mrs. Elton, and Jane shouting at Miss Bates; but by far the biggest, worst additions were made with Emma. The worst, I think, is the handling of this scene in Episode 4 when Harriet is feeling heartsick following Mr. Elton’s marriage.

And for those of you who don’t wanna follow the link, here’s a transcription:

Emma: Now Harriet! Your allowing yourself to become so upset over Mr. Elton’s marriage is the strongest possible reproach you could make to me!

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes it is! You could not more constantly remind me of the mistake I made, which is most hurtful!

Harriet: Oh Miss Woodhouse, it was not intended to be!

Emma: I have not said “think and talk less of Mr. Elton” for my sake, Harriet, because it is for yours I wish it. My being hurt is a very… secondary consideration, but please, please Harriet, do learn to exert a little more self-discipline in this matter.

Harriet: {Looks down} Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma: We are all creatures of feeling; we all suffer disappointments, it is how we learn to suffer them that forms our character. If you continue in this way, Harriet, I shall think you wanting in true friendship for me!  

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse! You, who are the best friend I’ve ever had? Oh what a horrid, horrid wretch I’ve been!”

Emma: Oh now Harriet – (She’s gonna console her now, right?)

Harriet: Oh yes, I have, I have!

Emma: Harriet, control yourself! (ha ha bitch, u thought) Now, you will tie your bonnet, and you are coming with me to call on Mr. And Mrs. Elton at the Vicarage…

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes you are! And I’m sure you will find it far less distressing than you think.

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse, must I?

Emma: Yes, Harriet; but you may borrow my lace ruff if you wish.

Harriet: Oh may I, Miss Woodhouse? Oh, thank you!

(Look how evil she looks! She looks like she’s planning on baking Harriet into a pie!)

While this scene is in the book and much of the dialogue is also from the book, it’s the lines that were added that stick out to me. Emma does tell Harriet that her allowing herself to become upset over the Eltons is a reproach on Emma more than anything else and reminds her miserably of the “Mistake [Emma] fell into” but from this point, the script takes a left turn from the firm but kind appeal to Harriet to move on for both her happiness and Emma’s own comfort, to a far more manipulative strain.

Even after Harriet apologizes, she goes from simply appealing to Harriet to let herself move on, to basically telling her that she’s a bad friend. She treats Harriet like she’s unreasonable for feeling this way, where in the book Emma is very understanding and feels that “she could not do too much for her; that Harriet had every right to all her ingenuity and patience…” and only after Harriet goes all afternoon with Emma soothing her and no improvement in her spirits does Emma take any kind of reproachful tack whatsoever.

    In this scene, Emma says that her own happiness is a secondary consideration (this is stressed much more in the book) but from the way she says it, it seems more like she just wants Harriet to shut up about it rather than actually meaning it. (This is a very prominent example of Emma’s not seeming to really like Harriet at all in this version, only tolerating her presence.)

AND THEN she does something which Emma in the book most certainly did NOT do and forces Harriet to come with her to visit the Eltons, as if to put her on the spot and test how good a little friend she will be. I can’t express how disgusted I am by the changes and interpretation here. This is the culmination of the general through-line of Emma’s manipulative characterization being taken to an extreme. She looms over Harriet sounding, by turns, like a school marm and a saccharine nanny. She’s like a (very) low budget version of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia. 

My question about all of these changes is simply: Why? They don’t improve the story or the characters. They’re not big, but a lot of them just strike me as weird and unnecessary, but I guess there’s no accounting for artistic license.  

Final Thoughts

So is it a faithful adaptation? I often find this a more complex question to answer for myself than one would think, since inflection and line delivery and even, at some points, intention behind what the characters say tends to be up to the interpretation of the person reading the book.

Is the dialogue faithful? Other than the many changes I’ve mentioned (and the numerous cuts and edits I didn’t – and besides no screenplay can be 100% faithful), for the most part yes.

Are the characters accurate to description / faithful in their portrayal – again this tends to be subjective and opinions vary. In my opinion, Emma is not. I’ve mentioned that Knightley is too old, and Emma not only seems more intentionally manipulative than I believe she’s meant to be, and also just does not seem 21. She acts and looks like a much older woman, especially when preaching at Harriet) but she’s also very gawky, and Emma is supposed to look very healthy and glowing.

So my book accuracy rating meets in the middle at a 4.5. It’s NOT the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, nor is it the most fun or the most intimate, but it’s not totally a travesty either and there are good things in it, even with a robot witch playing the main lead.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (43 Ribbons )

Tone: 4

Casting: 5 (Witchy automaton Doran Goodwin plays opposite avuncular good-fellow John Carson. Fiona Walker stands out as Mrs. Elton.)

Acting: 5 (Doran Goodwin is by turns crazed and mechanical with some momentary touches of what might be actual emotion. Raymond Adamson way over-acts Mr. Weston as a hobbeldy-hoi, verging on uncouth.)

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4 (A bump up from the usual 1 or 2 for TV dramas of the time. Surprisingly less stagey than expected.)

Sets and Settings: 5

Costumes: 7 (Very clearly of the 70’s but drawing on perfectly accurate styles that jived well with contemporary taste)

Music: 1 (Plinky, poorly played piano music. Only used for intro and outro I think? Jane Fairfax can neither play nor sing.)

Book Accuracy: 5 (They changed a lot of small details. Lines are changed unnecessarily (Calling Harriet “Stupid” rather than “Foolish” – Why?) Mrs. Elton seems to have a thing for Knightley? People present when they shouldn’t be, others absent when they should be present, again without any apparent reason.)

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 1: Janus

(Yes I’m staring with Janus and going backwards, I just need to talk about this snake man right now!)

Alright, I’ve seen lots of people give their takes on each of the sides playlists, and honestly... I feel like they’re not all that similar to my interpretations. I mean yes anyone can interpret the songs how they’d like, but some people just flat out ignore canon to see the songs as their ship instead of what I believe they are actually meant to be seen as. Anyways... Janus! Yes let’s go through each song one by one 💛

1) Black Hole Sun: I’ll admit this one was hard for me. The song is obviously so Janus, with plenty of references to snakes and lying, but I can’t seem to put a finger on the exact meaning. If I had to guess, it’s showing Janus’ fist instance of fearing society. He’s realized that the world is not a safe place for Thomas and no one can be trusted (“Times are gone for honest men” “no one sings like you anymore”). He longs for the ignorance of childhood when society didn’t seem to pose a threat and Thomas wasn’t aware of the dangers and lies it held, but he knows that someone has to protect him from it, and that is Janus (“my youth I pray to keep” “hang my head, drown my fear”).

2) Seemed the Better Way: To me, this is a song about Janus knowing his place as a dark side and knowing that the others will not listen to him (“I better hold my tongue” “better take my place”). He initially trusts the core sides to do what needs to be done and take care of Thomas adequately, but when he realizes that it isnt enough, he finds it hard to keep in hiding (“Seemed the better way” “now it’s much too late to turn the other cheek”).

3) Anywhere: A BIG middle finger to society (“It’s a beautiful world, if youve been lied to” “No no no, nothing in this world is beautiful”). Janus basically trusts no one in society, not even the people closest to Thomas because he believes that everyone will do whatever it takes to get what they want (“Every man standing on another man’s back”). He also believes that society has been a huge detriment to Thomas and, AGAIN, is very dangerous (“It’s the world’s excuse for being disfigured and lying to you”).

4) Talking at the same time: This song is about Virgil. The song begins with explaining that a hard time for one person can be a triumph for another in multiple different metaphors (“Umbrellas cost more in the rain” “hard times for some, for others its sweet” “someone makes money when theres blood in the street”). The next part of the song practically shoves it in your face that it’s about virgil leaving (“Well she told me she would leave me, I ignored all the signs” “I know you're leaving and there's no more next time”). Janus was clearly hurt by Virgil leaving and it seems like he was almost in denial about it happening. A line near the end of the song that I found particularly interesting was “Well we bailed out all the millionaires, They've got the fruit, We've got the rind”. This line to me shows that Janus and the other dark sides let Virgil go, possibly in an attempt to get all of the dark sides accepted. Virgil capitalized on this opportunity and of course, got accepted, however, he left the others behind. Despite wanting Virgil to get accepted by the light sides, Janus remains bitter that Virgil was the only one. Virgil got the fruit, and the rest of the dark sides got the rind.

5) All the Good Girls go to Hell: Janus believes that Thomas needs to listen to him if he is going to stay safe and healthy. He thinks that his assistance, above all other sides, expecially Patton, is crucial for survival in this messed up world. (“And once the water starts to rise, And heaven's out of sight, She'll want the devil on her team” “Look at you needing me”). You’ll find it a common theme in this playlist that Janus refers to himself as the devil or an evil entity of some sort... Just thought I’d point that out.

6) Denial: Well, its in the title folks! Thomas is (or was) in denial. Janus is aware of the moments when Thomas thinks about consulting him or using one of his functions, but almost as soon as he gets the idea, he drops it and acts like the thought never happened (“Don't just shut your eyes closed” “You know that I can hear you thinking, I've heard you all the way from here, But if I look you in the eye though, It's like your thoughts all disappear”). Thomas is struggling for answers to questions that only Janus can answer, but he refuses to listen to consult him and Janus desperately wants this to stop (“I know you're looking for direction, I know where you wanna go” “Please don't turn the light out, I don't think the conversation's over”).

7) Trust in Me: Obviously, the original song has much more sinister undertones, but when listening to the song from Janus’ perspective, I get a different vibe. Basically, Janus just wants Thomas to trust him and give him more reign over decision making. Not much for this one.

8) Razzle Dazzle: JANUS IS EXTRA! Is anyone shocked? Also a HUGE showman. But again, no one’s surprised. Janus believes that the only way to get the light sides to listen to him is to practically put on a show to cover up whatever his true intentions are (“How can they see with sequins in their eyes?” “Razzle dazzle 'em And theyll never catch wise!” “How can they hear the truth above the roar?”) I could keep listing lines but theyre literally all just different versions of the same sentiment.

9) When the Chips are Down: The title right off the bat shows that, again, Janus believes that Thomas needs to look to him when important decisions are on the line. There are also a lump sum of jabs at patton in this song, lines like “Aim for the heart, shoot to kill” and “Cast your eyes to heaven, You get a knife in the back”. Theres also a lot of lines, yet again, of Janus practically begging Thomas to trust him and no one else (“Ain't nobody but yourself to trust” “Help yourself, To hell with the rest, Even the one who loves you best”).

10) Mandy goes to Med School: Soooo this one... Honestly, I don’t really have a lot. The original meaning of the song is not very applicable to Janus, so its a bit hard to pinpoint its meaning. The only thing I can think of is that Janus is again hating on society and the crazy things that people have to go through in it. If you weren’t aware, this song is about coat-hanger abortions.

11) I put a Spell on You: This one seems pretty striaghtforward to me. Janus knows that Thomas doesn’t want him, and it drives him up the wall, but he does what a snake boi does and slithers his way in anyways (“And I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now” “I can't stand it 'cause you put me down”). I suppose you could argue that you could replace Thomas with Patton (mostly because daddy is used like 10 times in the song 😂) but a later song covers their realtionship extremely well.

12) Evil Night Together: Another toughie. My gut feeling is that this is a song about Remus and Janus just going out and having a wild night together. As I read into the lyrics more, though, it seems almost like Janus is doing this for Remus. Like he wants Remus to feel accepted and loved by him (something that can’t be said by Thomas). I just can’t read some of these lines without getting big Momceit vibes... i mean... theyre so supportive! “I'll hold your hand while they drag the river” “I'll cuddle you in the undertow” “I'll hold you close while they dust for prints”. Then theres of course this line... “Who's gonna make you a hero?” And to me, that is Janus saying that, if Thomas only sees Roman as his hero and not Remus, then it is Janus’ job to make Remus feel like a hero. Janus also saying “No need for cake or flowers” also feels like him reassuring Remus that he doesn’t need to be like his brother to be perfect and loved.

13) Don’t tell Mama: I think I’ve seen some people interpreting “mama” as Thomas in this song, but to me Patton seems like a better fit, especially after their interactions in the most recent episode. Basically this song is all about how Janus doesn’t mind people knowing about the bad things he does, but he can absolutely not have one person know. Janus seems to have grown a soft spot for Patton in the new episode and if you ask me, he would definately not want patton finding out about some of immoral things he’s wanted Thomas to do. I mean he literally waits for Patton to sink out and then the second he’s gone he starts scheming about pushing people down stairs and sabotage.

14) You’re a Cad: Another Virgil one, but this time it’s after Virgil’s acceptance. I think Janus has little faith in the beginning that Virgil would get far in his journey to the light side. Whether that is because of envy or just plain pessimism, I’m not sure, but he definately doubted Virgil would ever be able to escape his past (“So now you want the whole world to notice that you've come around, Now you expect, We'll see how you're really so much better now, But I know the truth” “What's the point pretending that you could be a better man, Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began”). Despite his reluctance to support Virgil’s endevors, Janus shows a softer side for Virgil that has gone completely untalked about in canon (“You're a rascal and a rogue, a villain and a crook, Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook” “Still I know the truth, but I have a sweet tooth for a Cad and a bounder, a dog and a cheap”). Janus really misses Virgil and I would go as far as to say that he regrets the things that he’s done to make Virgil want to leave (“I should be better, but I'm worse” “You're reckless with my heart, still I wait by the phone”).

15) As far as I can See: A sadie but a goodie. Janus doesn’t really understand love, but he’s sure that no one loves him (“As far as I can see Nobody loves me”). No one listens to him, no matter how much he shouts and cries. He doesn’t believe that anyone could love him if they are unwilling to hear him out and communicate with him (“As far as I can see, Nobody's listening” “And when I'm crying out, Nobody cries back for me”).

16) Criminal: AH MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! I LEGIT CRIED MY GUYS! Anyway. Janus LOVES Thomas. I would go as far to say that Janus loves Thomas more than any other side. Despite his lacking knowledge of love and what it feels like, he knows for a fact that what he feels for Thomas is the closest thing he will feel to love (“Because he's all I ever knew of love”). Now that thats out of the way, lets get to the juicy stuff... Janus feels like a criminal as he’s been taught over and over again that his opinions and thoughts are bad and harmful (“Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal” “I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins”) This song is ultimately about Janus wanting to improve for Thomas, the one he loves the most. He knows that Thomas needs him, and the only way to get Thomas to listen is to get some help. Whose that help you might ask? Patton. Janus wants to be more helpful, but he doesnt know how. He’s envious of Patton’s ability to be accepted so easily, so he goes to him for advice (“I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true, And I just don't know where I can begin”). Janus wants to be redeemed in Thomas’ eyes, he wan’ts to escape the criminal appearance he’s been doomed to (“And I need to be redeemed, To the one I've sinned against”). He HATES some of the things he does to Thomas and some of the things he makes him think, but he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he believes that he deserves to be punished, but he still wants to get better for Thomas. He just doesn’t know how to do that (“Oh help me, but don't tell me to deny it, I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies til I'm good enough for him”). Also, Janus sees Patton in a very very high place. He goes as far in this song to liken him to an angel while comparing himself, again, to the devil (“So what would an angel say, The devil wants to know”).

17) Change: The song is about, you guessed it, change! This to me is a continuation of the last song. Janus finally feels like things are changing in his favor (likely after the most recent episode). He was beginning to feel like there was no point in caring or trying, but now that he’s begining to see the light, he’s grown a bit hopeful (“Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care, Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?” “Trying to find the power in me to be faithful” “Change is a powerful thing, I feel it coming in me”). With Patton’s help and acceptance, Janus is begining to feel worthy of Thomas again and begining to see the he has a voice (“Maybe by the time this song is done I’ll be able to be honest, capable, Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful Or stable”).

18) Devil in the Details: Janus worries again about his ability to help Thomas. He doesn’t believe that he can tell the difference between good and bad and he looks to Patton for that differentiation (“There was love I meant, there were accidents, So tell me which is which. 'Cause I just can't work it out” “I have, no way, of knowing,…”). There’s also an odd underlying message about doing something that he doesn’t want to do, but continues to do despite this and I’m not quite sure what that could be referring to (“And I know the cost, and I want to stop. But I can't do it, I just can't do it.”). It could simply be referring to him lying or deceiving others, but that seems too simple. I wish I had a better answer.

19) Come Little Children: ALSO MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! This is really big guys. This song practically confirms the fact that Janus was in charge of taking in and hiding the dark sides from Thomas (“Come little children, I'll take thee away Into a land of enchantment”). The song literally uses the phrase “My garden of shadows”, a clear metaphor for the hidden parts of Thomas’ mind where Janus keeps the dark sides. But it gets better... Janus pities these poor sides. He hates the way that society has forced them away from the light and into the shadows (“Follow sweet children, I'll show thee the way Through all the pain And the sorrows”). Not only does Janus feel bad for these sides and longs to protect them from the cruelness of the real world, but he LOVES them. He values every aspect of them and thinks they are beautiful and perfect. He cannot fathom why society wouldn’t also love see them this way and it frustrates him to hide such amazing traits from the world (“Weep not poor children For life is this way, Murdering beauty and passions”). Despite this sadness and dissapointment, Janus does his job and keeps the dark sides hidden away, knowing that society would never accept them for what they are (“Hush now dear children, It must be this way”).

20) Into the Unknown (no not the Frozen song): This song is VERY IMPORTANT. I have seen so many misinterpretations of this song, and granted mine could also be wrong, but please hear me out. This song comes right after the last song for a reason. The sides that Janus had once hidden away are now being shown to Thomas. He is literally going into the unknown (“Led through the mist, By the milk-light of moon, All that was lost, is revealed.” “Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history, Lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place, called The Unknown. Where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.”) Thomas is figuratively traveling through the wood by learning more about himself and traveling deeper into Janus’ previously mentioned Garden of Shadows. The song ends, beautifully framing Janus’ love for the sides he’s raised and hidden away, calling them “ The loveliest lies of all”....

(Ahhh! I’m sorry that was so long guys 😅 Thank you if you read the whole thing or evern part! I’d like to hear your opinions, so let me know 💛💛💛)

[danceworshipper]

The Family Business AU: Part 1

Part 2

I'm finally getting around to writing something! This story is an AU where my main mcs, Gracie and Tessa Chiva, were raised in R their whole lives and are only just now, at the age of sixteen, starting to have doubts. I'm not sure how long the story will be, but I've been toying with the idea for a while now and I couldn't stop myself from writing it any longer. The basic background info is that the twins' maternal grandmother, Lorraine Black, founded R while her four children were still relatively young. In canon, her children weren't really on board, but in this AU all but one stayed with her. Clarissa, the twins' mother, never truly approved, but saw what happened to her brother and decided abandoning her family wasn't worth it. If you know my mcs, you'll know that while Gracie and Tessa are technically identical twins, Gracie has alternate coloring to her from a curse that happened in their first year (Tessa has dark brown hair and dull green eyes whilst Gracie has bright white hair and unnaturally bright green eyes, and is much paler). In this AU, that still occurred, however the curse was staged to give them a reason to go into the vaults as their brother never did, and she has no negative side effects from it. The 'Jacob' character has been renamed to Vance, just because I honestly don't like the name Jacob, Gracie and Merula are together, Tessa is single and newly the captain of the Slytherin quidditch team, Rowan is the prefect because she deserves it, and the two additional mcs in the story belong to @gcldensnitch and @weirdcursedvaultkid!

The Great Hall always felt so loud and bright on the first day of school. Even on the days the whole family was gathered together, their grandmother's dining hall was never as noisy as when the whole of Hogwarts was sitting eating dinner together. It made Gracie's head pound, and Tessa wasn't faring much better. If only their mother had listened to their pleas to drop out of school - but alas, Clarissa was firm in her belief that they needed to complete their education despite being next in line. It's what they deserved for asking the parent who had been a Ravenclaw during her own time at Hogwarts.

Of course, education aside, the twins really did need to stay in school. Them dropping out now would raise too many questions, especially with the two of them so invested in the Cursed Vaults. Besides, they would miss their friends. The friends that they'd been lying to since they met them. The friends that were now in terrible danger.

The twins had different thoughts about their lies. Tessa felt much more guilty about it, always having been the more empathetic twin. She especially felt guilty about lying to her best friend, Colette Belrose, whose older brother Jacob was someone Tessa saw rather frequently while Colette herself had no idea what he was up to. It reminded Tessa of how she had no idea where her own brother was, and if he was okay or not. He had run away from home directly after graduating and hadn't contacted his sisters at all. R had placed him high on the 'wanted' list. Seeing his name still there, not crossed out, was the only way Tessa and Gracie could have hope he was still alive.

Gracie was better able to justify her lies to herself. How could she continue to be trusted by her friends if they knew she was a member of the very group they were trying to take down? How would they react if they knew that she hadn't been cursed in her first year, but marked as the next leader? In order to protect the people Gracie cared about like Rowan and Merula, she needed them to trust her, and they never would if they found out about her lies now. It wasn't like she could tell them even if she wanted to; the secrecy oath she swore when she was eleven made that impossible. She suspected that was the only reason Vance hadn't told everyone before he ran away. You didn't break the oath by leaving. You broke the oath by dying.

This very oath, while necessary for R's security, was something that the twins were growing to despise. Lorraine, their grandmother, the founder and current leader of R, had laughed at them when they screamed and cried about Rakepick torturing Merula while the group was in the Portrait Vault the year before. Rakepick was just playing her part, Lorraine said. It didn't matter how close Gracie and Merula were, because in the end, Merula was an enemy to R and their mission, and would be treated as such. If Gracie wanted Merula safe from R's members, she'd have to convince Merula to become one.

This was the twins' goal this year. Between working on the final Cursed Vault (that the Hogwarts students knew of; the twins knew it was, in fact, the second-to-last), they were determined to convince their closest friends to join up with R for their own protection. How they would do that without being able to tell their friends about their family, they didn't know. But they had to try.

"Tessa!"

Tessa's head shot up as Colette sat down on the bench next to her and threw her arms around her. Colette had a smile on her face as she pulled back.

"Your hair is so long now!" Colette exclaimed. "I love it!"

Tessa smiled back weakly. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just not used to the noise yet," Tessa responded truthfully. "It's not very loud back home."

Colette squeezed Tessa's shoulder in comfort. "You'll be used to it in no time."

Gracie watched the exchange and sighed. Rowan was a prefect, so she was off making sure the dorms were ready for the new students who would be coming in, and Merula was nowhere to be found. Merula had been off all summer. Having the Cruciatus curse cast on her had caused her to become even more determined than ever to prove herself as powerful, and it left their relationship wanting.

Gracie plugged her ears as the chatter around the hall grew even louder, feeling Tessa lean closer to her. The first years had just entered the Great Hall to be sorted. Hopefully Rowan would be here soon.

----------------

Dinner had been miserable, just as it always was during the first week or so. The twins never truly appreciated the quiet at home while they had it. Rowan had finally arrived just as the last first year was sorted, still catching her breath but beaming from a job well done.

"The Common Room is sparkling," she had told Gracie. "And I scented the candles with a faint hint of orange, just for you."

Rowan was so good. She cared about Gracie more than almost anyone else, and though she was nerdy, weird, and awkward, she was one of the most incredible people Gracie had ever met. Rowan was the one Gracie was most desperate to get on R's side. As much as she loved Merula, Rowan had been Gracie's friend from day one. Losing her would hurt the most, she was sure of it. Rowan had to be turned.

Tonight, though, Gracie had to find Merula, or else she'd likely stay out all night. Rowan said she had seen her out of the Training Grounds blasting the dummies to pieces, so that's where Gracie went after dinner was over.

The night sky was clear, and the air was nice and warm, a welcome change of scenery as Gracie let her stress wash away for just a moment. Staring at the stars always made Gracie feel less anxious. The stars didn't care what happened to her. She was nothing but a speck of dust in the universe, and nothing she ever did would matter. It was a comforting thought.

"Are you just going to stand there, Chiva?"

Merula was now standing next to her, looking at her with a cold expression.

"Hi," Gracie said softly. Every time she saw Merula she was caught off guard by how pretty she was, even when she was angry.

"What do you want?"

"You missed dinner."

"I wasn't hungry."

It was a bad lie. Gracie held out the plate of raspberry tart she had been able to sneak out, and Merula took it without a word.

"What were you doing?" Gracie asked.

"What do you think?" Merula jerked her head toward a group of dummies, two of which were still lying on the ground in pieces.

Gracie sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. "This isn't healthy, love. I want to get back at Rakepick too, but you're running yourself ragged like this. We've barely spent time together recently."

At those words, Merula seemed to deflate just a little. She had another bite of tart before answering.

"I know."

They stood without talking while Merula finished her tart. She didn't say thank you, nor did Gracie expect her to. Merula just vanished the plate and crossed her arms.

An owl hooted in the distance. Gracie wondered if it was a school one or a wild one.

"Train with me," Merula said suddenly.

Gracie shook her head. "It's late. Come inside with me."

"Duel me once and we can go in."

"You're the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts," Gracie teased, enjoying the way Merula rolled her eyes even as they lit up. "You have nothing to prove to me."

"Just one?" Merula asked again.

And Gracie was never able to resist. "One."

----------------

"I've already been asked by three different people when I'm going to be holding tryouts," Tessa whined. "It's the first day back; can they not wait a single second?"

"Apparently not," Liz said, leaning back against her headrest. The two were sitting on the bed, catching up. Liz hadn't been able to visit for the second half of the summer as she had been on vacation in Canada, so they had a lot to talk about.

"I snuck out of the hall to visit everyone in the Reserve," Liz continued. "You need to come with me tomorrow so you can see how much bigger the thestrals are. Victoria says hi, I think. I still can't see her."

Tessa raised an eyebrow. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I want to see how beautiful she is! You keep saying she's the prettiest thestral you've ever seen but I don't have a point of reference."

"Take my word for it, Liz, she's gorgeous."

Liz frowned. "I wish seeing the death of a pet counted. It's like even magic itself thinks creatures are less than humans."

"But if seeing the death of a pet counted, Thestrals would never be able to live in peace because then nearly everyone would be able to see them," Tessa reasoned.

"I cannot believe Hogwarts uses them as carriage horses. Thestrals as carriage horses! What disrespectful prick came up with that?!"

Tessa glanced around the dorm as Liz carried on with her rant. Gracie wasn't back with Merula yet. Colette was talking with Rowan and Alex Vega, happy as could be, completely unaware that twenty feet away from her Tessa was trying to figure out how to recruit her to the very wizard cult her brother had abandoned his family to work for. And what about Alex? Would Tessa and Gracie try and get Alex too? Alex was in danger; she had gotten involved with the Vaults a few years ago and now spent a lot of time with Ben, someone who, at the end of last year, made quite an enemy of himself in the Portrait Vault. If only he had stayed a spineless coward, he might have been safe. It might be the only circumstance Tessa was displeased with someone's personal growth.

Ismelda was sitting by herself, skimming through this year's History of Magic textbook. Ismelda was probably the safest one in the room, having never really helped the Vault hunt or done anything that would anger R. She mostly just kept to herself. Ironically, Ismelda was probably the most likely person to be willing to join R.

Liz snapped her fingers in Tessa's face, making her jump.

"You look scared," Liz stated, blunt as ever. "It's okay, you know. Dumbledore knows now that Rakepick is evil. She'll have a hard time finding us to try and hurt us."

She was kind of close, Tessa thought, but that wasn't quite it. It wasn't like Liz could know Rakepick would never, under threat of death, ever hurt even a single hair on Tessa's head other than under strict orders for cover.

"Yeah, I know. But it doesn't feel right."

Liz elbowed her in a way that was probably meant to be encouraging. "We're a team. No one is going to hurt you on my watch."

That only made Tessa feel worse. Liz would never say those things if she knew who Tessa really was. Salazar, how was Tessa ever supposed to convince Liz to join R? Rakepick was in R; no one at Hogwarts would ever consider being on her side. Besides maybe Ismelda.

The door finally opened to reveal Gracie and Merula. Tessa watched her sister accept Alex's hug, looking just fine. How did Gracie do it? Did she really believe she could change her friends' minds, or was she just better at hiding her emotions than Tessa?

You're too sensitive. Leaders have to be able to step back from their emotions and look at a situation rationally. If you can't do that, Tessa, you can never be a leader.

She didn't want to be a leader; Gracie could do that. Tessa just wanted to be good enough to be worthy of being the leader. She wanted to stop being second best. She didn't want to be Tessa, Gracie's twin sister anymore. She wanted to be Tessa, her own person. It wasn't like her Quidditch skills would matter in a couple of years when she had to work for R full time. Maybe she could talk to Diego tomorrow; she needed to get back into her dueling training.

Merula stomped off to talk to Ismelda after having been convinced to hug Alex as well. Gracie spoke with Rowan for a moment before they both came to join Tessa and Liz, leaving Colette and Alex fawning over Colette's cat together.

"I beat her," Gracie told Rowan, then turned to address the whole group. "Merula made me duel her again."

"Isn't she ever going to get tired of getting her ass kicked by you?" Rowan joked.

"She won't stop bothering you until you let her win, you know," Liz told Gracie.

"She'll know I let her win and then she'll be even more mad."

Gracie looked over at Tessa, who had drawn into herself. Tessa felt the Legilimency link they shared open up.

You okay? Gracie asked.

I'm scared.

I know.

Gracie paused to laugh at something Liz said. Tessa attempted a chuckle. She didn't know what Liz had said.

We can do this, and if we can't, we can protect them. No one is going to get hurt. I promise.

You can't guarantee that.

"I'm tired," Tessa announced, closing the link and standing up.

Gracie stood and pulled Tessa into a tight hug.

"I love you," Gracie said.

"I love you too."

Tessa, having already changed into her nightgown some time ago, climbed into her bed and shut the curtains, ignoring the concerned looks from her dormmates. She'd feel better tomorrow, she told herself. She was just tired and it was making her worse. That was all. It wasn't like she had to turn everyone by the weekend; the first proper "attack" Lorraine had planned was over a month away, and it was less of an attack than a "scare the kids" bit. They'd be fine. She had plenty of time.

"Did something happen at home?" Liz asked quietly.

What hadn't? It was a better question, but no one knew that.

"Our grandfather is sick," Gracie lied, hoping she'd remember to tell Tessa before someone said something tomorrow. "He'll probably be fine, but he's old, you know? He was still in pretty bad shape when we left."

Rowan made an odd face, but it was gone before Gracie could even process that it happened.

"I'm sure he'll be okay," she said.

"Yeah, he's made it through dragon pox, he can handle this," Liz nodded, yawning. "I might go to bed too."

"Yeah, it's late," Gracie agreed. "I still have to get changed though."

Rowan perked up. "You'll like what I did in the bathroom. Pretty tough bit of magic, but I think it was worth it."

"Really now?"

"Mhm. Here," Rowan said, holding out Gracie's toiletry bag before she could even open her trunk. "I got it out for you, and your nightgown is hanging above the heating stone so it'll be warm."

Gracie felt another surge of guilt wash through her. "You're the best."

Rowan grinned. "Come on, I want to see your reaction!"

What Rowan had done in the bathroom was charm the mirrors to look like the surface of a calm lake. When Gracie put her hand out to touch it, it rippled.

"This is so cool!" Gracie exclaimed, momentarily forgetting her troubles.

"I know! And when you want it to be solid so you can see perfectly, you just tap it with your wand and say sile, like so."

Rowan tapped her wand against the mirror to demonstrate. The water-like surface stilled and became clear as a regular mirror, as if it had never moved.

"Libera."

Another tap, and the mirror once more began to flow gently.

Gracie ruffled Rowan's hair, earning a smack to her wrist. "How long did that take you?"

"The first one took a good ten minutes," Rowan admitted, smoothing her hair back down. "After I got it it was easy to do the others."

"You did this in all the rooms?"

"Of course I did!"

"You really are incredible."

Rowan beamed. "Thanks, Gracie. You want me to wait up for you?"

Gracie shook her head. "It's okay, I have to wait for Merula anyway."

"Ooooh, you're gonna cuddle?" Rowan taunted.

"Oh, shut up!" Gracie laughed.

"You never cuddle with me."

"Did you want to cuddle?"

"Not really," Rowan conceded. "But maybe if you held my hand once in a while I'd feel better."

"Get out."

"Night!"

----------------

Both twins had a nightmare that night, a dream full of blood and tears that made them wake up with a scream.

[goth-girlfriend]

GIF originally posted by Demigodxtonio

Pairing:

Enji Todorki/ Endeavor x Student areader

Summary:

After the sports festival you spend a week with the man who’s company accidentally sent you a request.

Notes: No fluff or Smut, slight ooc

Part: 1/?

🖤💙❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️💙🖤

“Hey, Todoroki.” I looked at the split haired boy.

We recently become, friends? He doesn’t do much talking rather then listening and staring.

“Hm?” He hummed his answer back.

“How tough is your dad?” I asked pulling my long sleeves into the center of my palms.

“If your not up to his standards he will break you down and remold you in a way that leave you feeling empty for his own sick pleasure of being able to take down the number one hero.” Todoroki kept a straight face but his voice was colder.

“Okay then.” I nodded and kept following. “Why didn’t you stop me when I said I wanted to take this offer?”

“The thought of being alone with my own father was unbearable. With the company of someone I know and am comfortable with, I thought it would be easier.” He didn’t look at me.

May heart warmed, the company of someone he’s comfortable with, usually he just refers to me as someone he knows. I smiled, and looked down.

“Honestly I don’t think he wanted me, It was probably some mistake.” I shrugged.

“So are you sure your okay with my crush on your dad and being this close?” I asked nudging his shoulder with my own.

He let out the friendly version of a scoff, “Just don’t do anything weird when I’m around.”

He nudged me back and I grinned, “Got it, keep the weirdness of the down low.”

We stopped in he shadow of a large building.

“It’s huge,” I felt a familiar line coming, “Sure it’s big enough, but just look at the location.”

I laughed at my reference, Shoto let out like two laughs before he gave me a look.

“Oh right, no weirdness got it.” I coughed to clear my throat.

“We should watch another DreamWorks or Pixar movie. Or like go to Univesal, I’ve only ever been to the one in Florida, and I live in Japan you would think this would be the Universal I got to but no.” I talked to Todorki.

He nodded not really listening but taking it in. Then, we entered the Lobby. There he was, all six foot four and two hundred and forty pounds of daddy.

“Shoto.” He greeted his son.

“You must be (L/n),” he eyes me, I felt nervous but if it showed he’d probably shun me.

So instead I took a deep breath, stood straight and puffed out my chest. I looked him dead in the eye and did a quick bow.

“Yes Sir, I’m (Y/n) (L/n) of Class 1-A” I held my breath, if I die, it’s because he rejected me.

“Well, you know how to present yourself at least.” He scoffed and turned around.

I sighed and deflated, I looked at Todoroki, he had a faint smile but nodded at me.

“I’ll just follow you.” I sighed catching my breath.

“Yeah, you did better then what others have done. They think submission is the way to go. No one understands that to work here you need to be assertive but respectful...” Shoto said looking down.

“Why would you want a coward for a Hero?” I asked out my left hand on his right shoulder. “Also it’s probably a bad time but I’m hungry.”

I whispered the last part hoping Endeavor wouldn’t hear me.

The day passed quickly, we learned what we’d be doing. I’d go on patrols with whatever hero I could, and do coffee runs for the office. I mean I didn’t work myself to the bone to be a secretary. Endeavor took Shoto away so I wouldn’t even have anyone to talk to. I huffed and made my way to the elevator.

“Stupid coffee, stupid card, stupid barista, stupid man who bumped into me and made me go back to buy more coffee.” I mumbled and stepped into the elevator.

My phone rang, “Hello?” I asked.

“Yes, (y/n)?” It was the secretary from the floor Endeavor was on.

“Yes, how can I help you?” I asked the same line over and over.

“The meeting is about to begin, do you have the coffee and breads?”

“YES,” I seethed through my teeth aggravated as the elevator stopped and no one was there.

“I’m coming up right now.” I spoke through clenched teeth.

“Alright, thank you.” She spoke.

“ITS YOUR JOBS TO GET COFFEE AND RUN ORDERS NOT MINE KAREN! IM A STUDENT WHO IS SUPPOSED TO LEARN ABOUT THE HERO WOLRD NOT BE A STUPID SECRETARIES ASSISTANT!”

I stripped my cloak off, revealing the mesh bodysuit I wore under leggings, and the other things I wore. I tightened the black strips of fabric around my wrist and began fidgeting.

“You’re late.” Endeavors message Pushed it.

I rushed out of the elevator and to the secretaries desk, “Do your job you lazy scum I shouldn’t have to run coffee and bread and papers back and forth, I’m on an internship you get paid to do this I’m not here to do your job I’m here to learn what being a hero is like.”

I slapped my cloak onto her desk, the coffee splashed onto her crisp white shirt and stained her papers. I turned and rushed down the hall to the meeting room. I shoved the door open and gently placed the coffee and bread on the table. I turned to Endeavor, he seemed aggravated at my disturbance.

“Sir, you look aggravated,” I played and stepped in his direction, “Maybe you should take a break.”

I faked worry, Todoroki was staring at me and whoever was at the other end of the table was staring.

“Maybe you should take a break, it’s what I do when I’m aggravated.” I looked at him, anger emitting from him.

I sat on the table, “I mean, today, I’ve taken it all, someone’s wrong breakfast order, all over the back on my cloak, four cups of hot coffee to my chest and stomach. A perverted man harassing and then groping me when I was running papers for your secretary.”

I crossed my right leg over my left leg, “Every patrol opportunity I was given, has been cancelled, or I was told I was not allowed to go.”

I looked at to my left, there sat the guest, I smiled and nodded. It was hawks.

“Hello, hope your having a good day, would you like some bread?” I offered the bag.

He took it and offered some to Tokoyami.

“Also, I have gained little to no experience, I have five days to learn something, and so far everyone who works here acts like they hate me, and honestly I’m starting to hate it here.” I smiled at Endeavor.

“So, I quit.” I tossed my tag at him.

He caught it with one hand, he watched me as I slid off the table.

I walked to the door, “Make sure Karen or whoever knows how you like your coffee, God forbid she have to run back to the coffeeshop five times in an hour.” I snarled and slammed the door open.

I walked out before I heard laughing, And then a growl. I took the stairs and rolled my eyes, I’ll just call Aizawa and study under him if it comes to it. I’ll even take Present if it comes to it. Making to the lobby I looked down at my phone. I opened it to call the contact number Aizawa gave us, just as I went to push call my phone was snatched. I looked up to meet golden eyes and glasses.

“Your boss is looking for you babe, better go back.” He laughed and his red wings flared slightly.

I stared at them, “nice wings, be a shame to lose them.” I said and ‘reached’ for my phone.

He pulled his hand back and left me and opening, between his shoulder and neck I reached right over and touch his wings. His eyes widened as his wings closed to his back.

And some sprouted from my own back with sick cracks.

“What did you do?” He asked.

“Give it an hour, you’ll be fine.” I shrugged and took my phone out of his hand.

“She is able to permanently copy quirks of others if she can touch it physically. It leaves her opponent at a disadvantage of not being to use their own quirk for a certain amount of time.” Tokoyami said and stepped around.

“Must be nice having a chill guy for a boss.” I told Tokoyami.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

“Hey, Get back here I don’t wanna do this alone.” -❄️🔥

I sighed and turned around to the elevator, “Todoroki needs help.”

👌- ☀️🖤

I got into the elevator and headed back up. Todoroki was outside his dads office, I haven’t even been in there.

He had a huge smile on his face, I pouted.

“I wanna go home.” I smacked my head into the closest wall.

“Yeah, no. He wants to talk to you so have fun.” Todoroki opened the door and waited for you to go.

“Come with me.” You whispered.

“Ok.” So you took a deep breath and walked in, only to hear.

“Yeet.” And the door closing.

Did, Shoto just yeet?

I looked up, Endeavor was standing in a window, the sun casting its glow over him. He was taking out over the city. It’s a sight I’d like to enjoy if I weren’t so aggravated.

“Sit down, we have a lot to discuss.” His voice tumbled and I sighed.

“Alright.” I was tired of taking orders, he didn’t specify what seat so I took his desk chair and turned in it to face him.

“What?” I asked.

He turned to me, and with a very hard stare told me to get out of his seat. I sighed and got up and stood by his desk.

“Why are you upset, you embarrassed me and my agency in front of guests.” He said and sat down, his legs spread a bit for comfort.

“Well Incase you didn’t understand, I’m just a secretary. I didn’t come here to be a secretary.” I sassed looking at him.

“I see,” he turned him his chair towards me.

“Come here.” He pointed in-front of his lap.

I flushed and hesitated, but walked over.

“Get on your knees.”

I dropped and looked down I couldn’t stand the embarrassment.

“Give me your hand.” I prepared my self for lewd actions.

I flinched feeling a burning sensation as a loud smack filled the room. I looked up at him tears in my eyes from the pain. He held a thick flat stick. It resembled a ruler, he placed it on his desk.

“Stand up,” I stood and tried not to flinch.

“Your going to wait here while I rearrange the schedule.” I nodded and turned to go Alejandro the desk.

“I said wait here.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down into his lap.

I was burning, this is embarrassing. He leaned foreword, his arms came around my shoulders and his chin on my shoulder. I watched him move papers and write down a few things. It was hot, Why was I so nervous. There’s no way this is real right?

Sitting in the lap of the number two hero, my crush, best friends dad in his office at his agency? I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Well things didn’t get worse, but they got slightly better.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Support a Small business

[lizardkingeliot]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @akisazame thank you darling! 💖

Name: Holly (peacefrog on AO3)

Fandoms: Currently hyperfixating on The Magicians with no end in sight

Where you post: AO3 :)

Most Popular One-shot: Only looking at my Magicians fic, that would be wellspring.

Most Popular Multichap: Teeeeeechnically life fades (but you remain) has more kudos, but time cast a spell on you (but you won’t forget me) has had far more interaction in terms of comments on each chapter (and nearly three times the subscribers lmao) so I’m gonna go with that. I adore my monster fic child that is going to exceed its estimated word count by 150% with my entire soul.

Favorite story you’ve written so far: time cast a spell on you (but you won’t forget me). I’m about seven months into writing this monster and it’s the most work I’ve ever put into any piece of writing ever. It has been the most blessed escape during this most cursed year. But I will also give an honorable mention to by night, beloved, tie your heart to mine and a myth of devotion which both hold very special places in my heart.

Fic you were nervous to post: I’m always nervous about posting new chapters of time cast a spell on you mostly because... it’s a very messy fic about very messy people who are exceptionally skilled at hurting themselves and each other. And I’m always like... this is certainly going to piss someone off! But over the months of posting I’ve come to accept that as a reality lmao. Honorable mention to by night, beloved, tie your heart to mine which I was nervous about for similar reasons. Mostly the infidelity thing, which I’m generally... not a big fan of in fiction. But I’m really glad I wrote it the way that I did. It feels honest and true and what is fiction for if NOT exploring the messiest parts of being a human.

How do you choose your titles: I hit up my poetry books a lot. Song lyrics, song titles. The usual...

Do you outline: Not at all. The closest I come is having a doc filled with notes for longer fics. It tends to all live in my head honestly. For something like time cast a spell on you, I didn’t allow myself to start publishing without knowing some of the main plot points that were going to be essential to the entire story (the why of it all, how certain things happened). But the journey getting there all comes out on the page as I write. I generally have a rough idea of scenes for each chapter (especially now as I’m getting closer to the end), but outlining just does not compute with my brain...

Complete: 144 works on AO3 currently

In progress: Wait I guess the above would be 143 if I’m not counting my current wip? time cast a spell on you is my main in progress at the moment. If we’re counting wips that haven’t been published at all, um... yeah I have way too many of those........

Prompts?: The best. My four most recent fics have been prompts from the not alone here charity auction. I love the feeling of collaboration that comes from getting a generally very vague idea from someone else and watching it unfold into an entire world there on the page.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I have a doc with like 3 dozen fic ideas to go to town on once time cast a spell on you is all wrapped up, so... out of those probably the one where they complete the mosaic when teddy is ten and return to earth as dads pushing 40. That will probably be my next long project at least.

Worlds I would love to write for in the future: WHO KNOWS. I don’t see Queliot leaving my heart anytime soon, so I suppose it’s all up to wherever these idiots in love take me...

Tagging @nellie-elizabeth @fishfingersandscarves @rubickk7 and anyone else who wants to play.

[joe-sleepy]

“The Destructive Eggman Empire”

Practice!

I started getting into painting with acrylics back in December. Up until recently, the paintings I’ve done have been landscapes, which I’ll get around to sharing here. Probably. 

I’ve decided to go out of my comfort zone and try practicing more with shapes. The problem with that is, I’m not creative and don’t want to paint just basic shapes so I’ve decided to think about some of my favorite franchises for inspiration! 

Here is my take on The Eggman Empire symbol inspired by the events of the current arc in the IDW Sonic the Hedgehog comics! (Comic spoilers ahead!)

The Sonic the Hedgehog franchise is a complete guilty pleasure for me. Even though the quality of the mainline games can be pretty inconsistent, most of the installments are a lot of fun and I love (most) of the characters. 

A few months ago I decided to delve into the IDW comics that follow the events of Sonic Forces. They are fantastic and some of the most entertaining and fun stories involving Sonic I’ve ever seen. The characterization and the use of video game continuity by Ian Flynn have been phenomenal. The art is top notch as well.

Currently the comics are going through what’s essentially a zombie apocalypse crafted by Eggman without the foresight of being able to stop it.

 What follows is the closest we’ll see to Sonic crossing over with The Walking Dead. Even though by the end we know things will be fine, the story is still fantastic. Even with the main cast from the games being at risk of succumbing to the metal virus, which turns anyone organic into a metal zombie robot bent on spreading the infection, there are moments that truly invoke a sense of anxiety and dread. Even with Sonic himself being infected very early on. 

The way Eggman spreads most of the virus himself is pretty psychotic - even by his normal standards. It’s truly Eggman at his most mad scientist.

And that’s what I wanted to convey with my choice of colors for this piece of fan art. I mean, he’s using a face ship to vomit the virus onto innocent people. 

The fear that comes from all this is not something that’s sugar coated at all.

The way the sense of loss and fear is conveyed is something I never would have expected to see in any official media related to Sonic the Hedgehog. It really is one of the best stories in comics right now. 

So, I think I’ve made my point pretty clear.

Here are the WIP photos!

I don’t have a steady hand whatsoever so I used a math compass for the eyes and face. Though... when trying to do the outline for the teeth, I realized pretty fast that using the compass was not going to cut it. 

I accidentally brought myself back to 2003.

So I quickly realized I was going to have to try to free hand most of the teeth. 

Getting the symbol’s teeth just right was astonishingly fucking frustrating. I got there eventually. Kind of. Used a ruler to get the teeth as straight as I reasonably could and did plenty of trial and error to make the curvature of the teeth to be mostly presentable.

After I felt I was ready to start coloring in, I filled the entire canvas with care with white paint to be a primer.

Though my hands aren’t steady and I knew sooner or later I wasn’t going t ostay in the lines. I didn’t color enough coloring books as a child. Clearly.

Though I think that somewhat worked in my favor. Helps convey a sense a chaos, I think. At least that’s my excuse to myself anyway.

Starting on the background. I started to really enjoy seeing it all come together.

And here we are! Back to the final product! I might go back to this and touch up the background. Or not. This was ultimately practice and I’m pretty satisfied with how it looks honestly.

Thanks for reading!

[thedeaditeslayer]

Exclusive interview: Bruce Campbell is having a renaissance.

Here’s a highly recommended interview which discusses what Bruce Campbell has in store for fans in the future.

Bruce Campbell is experiencing a creative renaissance, of sorts. In a recent chat with the actor, he discussed a return to his horror roots, cutting a comedy album with Ted Raimi and so much more.

Bruce Campbell hasn’t been idle during his time in self-isolation. The actor has been experiencing a creative renaissance of sorts. So, we figured now would be a perfect time to reach out and get some of our burning questions answered.

With so much uncertainty in the entertainment industry at present, rumors are running rampant. We gave Campbell a chance to clear the air so to speak and address some of the myriad of questions that fans have regarding Mortal Kombat 11, the latest Evil Dead incarnation, Ripley’s and whether or not he will work with Sam Raimi in front of the camera again.

The actor also surprised us with some monumental news. He will be returning to his horror roots with the sequel to My Name Is Bruce as well as several other projects that he has on his docket including a comedy album with one of his closest friends.

Get comfy, grab your favorite beverage and let’s catch up with Bruce Campbell.

Mortal Kombat 11, Ripley’s and the State of the Industry

1428 Elm: Thanks for speaking with us, Bruce. It’s always a pleasure. We have so many things to discuss. Recently, a site came out and said that you were definitely going to be Ash in Mortal Kombat 11. It seemed like a done deal the way it was reported. Can you comment on that?

Bruce Campbell: I probably shouldn’t emphasize yes or no because I don’t know. I have not been told. If it is not through my agent or proper channels than it usually means its wishful thinking.

1428 Elm: Apparently, an email from Warner Brothers Interactive was sent to a well-known entertainment site and Ash as well as Army of Darkness was mentioned in it with the trademark from MGM.

BC: The reason why it may not happen, just so you and the readers can know this, a lot of time for legal purposes, that character cannot appear in other things because of the license. If you can’t make a deal, that character is not going to show up. So, we may have been talked to about it.

But I do know with MGM that handles the Army of Darkness licensing that they’re hasn’t been a discussion with them about it. They’re pretty touchy. We have to be careful of ownership.

I honestly don’t know. I think I would have heard something. It’s not like my agent books me without consulting with me.

Even if Mortal Kombat came to me and said they want to put me in it, you still have to make a deal. If my agent says, “Bruce Campbell wants a hundred billion dollars,” and then they say no, the deal is dead.

The answer is we don’t know. No point in beating around about that.

1428 Elm: You might not be able to discuss this but what’s going on with Ripley’s Believe It or Not!? Will there be a Season 2?

BC: We’re one and done. It’s not your father’s Travel Channel anymore. If I wanted to host a ghost hunting show, I’d be on the air right now.

Ripley’s was made for the older school Travel Channel like Drive-Ins and Dive Bars where you go to wacky places around the country. There is a big push for paranormal, mystery and science-fiction, Discovery type stuff. I think we just “out aged” ourselves.

1428 Elm: It would have been nice if the Science Channel would have picked it up.

BC: It’s all good. I remain philosophical about all shows that come and go. There are so many factors involved. You change executives and things change, companies get bought and sold and things change, ratings aren’t what you expected…

After this virus, we’re going to see what shape the motion picture industry is in. It’s going to be a wounded beast. Projects are going to go away.

You’re going to have fewer tentpole movies too. I am hopeful we’ll have a return to low budget filmmaking.

That’s what I hope comes out of it. Each studio will start a low budget division and spend the money wisely.

Number One on the Charts with a Bullet

BC (Cont.): In the meantime, what is nice, I’m finishing up a couple of projects. I’m hoping by the end of the year to put a book of essays out and a comedy album with Ted Raimi.

1428 Elm: A comedy album?

BC: Yeah, we finished it. I’m in post-production on it. I’m putting all the sound effects in now.

1428 Elm: That sounds great!

BC: Who knows? We’ve never done one before so we’re going to find out.

1428 Elm: So, you guys are harkening back to the 1960’s when comedians like Bob Newhart had hit albums?

BC: It’s our version of that. I used to listen to the top comedy albums during the 60’s and 70’s. I wouldn’t dare compare myself to any of the masters like Mel Brooks and the 2,000-Year-Old Man with Carl Reiner. We gave it a shot. I love audio and I like radio plays.

Bruce Campbell vs the Classic Monsters

1428 Elm: So, tell us what is going on with your political satire, House Divided. Are you still working on pitching that once everything gets back to business as usual?

BC: It will be on the sales block. It’s a harder sell. There’s no blood. It’s not a horror movie, it’s a political satire. Associating Bruce Campbell with political satire isn’t the first thing investors whip out their checkbooks for.

To combat that, I just finished writing a sequel to My Name Is Bruce. The idea is we want to take Bruce and have him go through each of the classic film monsters. The sequel is Bruce vs Frankenstein.

We’re done. I finished my draft and sent it to Mike Richardson, my partner at Dark Horse Comics. We’re actively looking for money on that one. It is the Expendables of Horror. I fully intend to load the cast with so many familiar horror faces. It should be a lot of fun.

It would be a cavalcade of genre stars, old, young, on TV now. We really want to cover the bases. A lot of people will be getting killed. Guest star kills. Basically, Bruce bumbles his way into being a hero.

1428 Elm: Will you have to go through Universal to get permission to use the classic monsters?

BC: Some stuff is public domain. I’m not a lawyer but we would figure out a way to do this.

I think the bolts on Frankenstein’s neck are trademarked, as well as certain looks. But you can make a Frankenstein. That story is under public domain.

It’s also a parody of a Frankenstein movie and that gives a lot of leeway legally as well. I don’t think you can say, “Wolfman,” but I think you can say Bruce vs the Werewolf. This is my version of the Bob Hope road movies.

Ted has two parts; I have two parts for Robert Englund and I have a couple of parts for Kane Hodder. If they’re a name, I am going to put them in it.

After we come out of the zombie apocalypse that we’re in and everyone gets back to work, that is what I will be actively pitching. There’s plenty going on. So, I have been self-isolating in a constructive way.

It’s an Evil Dead World

1428 Elm: We’re curious about the 1970’s period piece that you were working on when we talked to you last year. What happened with that?

BC: It’s currently on my action board. I will eventually get to it. I am going to finish my book of essays first and then I am going to get to that one.

The story is set in 1979. The idea behind it is what would have happened if us raising money for Evil Dead went horribly, horribly wrong. It becomes a horror movie in and of itself.

1428 Elm: How did this idea come to fruition?

BC: I was going through projects in my computer. People who have a lot of downtime do spring cleaning. Clean out your woodshed, toolshed when you have extra time. In this case, I went to the head of my projects folder.

This one popped up and it was just an outline that I had written 15 years ago. I thought, wait a minute, this is pretty well thought out.

In the 70’s, filmmaking was real, you didn’t have a lot of options. You had to get cameras from a certain place, you had to have insurance. There were a lot of steps that you had to take that made the process really difficult.

I remember making calls for money from payphones in blizzards and s*** like that. You had to leave messages, you’re getting busy signals, you’re not texting anyone. There are no computers, there’s no email, its old school. You sent things in the mail.

Today, filmmaking is not difficult. I can go to a store and buy a 4K camera. I can make a movie with $5,000 worth of equipment. Probably less.

1428 Elm: Well, you can do it on your phone too. Sam Raimi is on Quibi now with 50 States of Fright, which is entertainment tailored to your device. If his series continues once everything settles, do you think there’s a chance you might appear on the show?

BC: Never say never, that’s all verbally at this point. They have to succeed; they have to survive. Any new format, any new platform, I’m game and if Sam’s involved all the more reason.

1428 Elm: Have you ever thought of doing anything like Quibi?

BC: Not yet. I’m used to writing 90-page screenplays with a three-act format. I can adapt anything too.

I was thinking the other day, I have a few screenplays that might be tough sells but maybe I might convert them to a fricking novel and put them out as books. There’s lots to do. I’ve got plenty going on.

1428 Elm: Has the current situation affected the new Evil Dead? We remember that you talked about possibly going into production at the end of this year. Is that pushed back like everything else?

BC: No, not really. It was so early in the stages that we can keep going. I just read the first official draft today. So, then we’ll give notes and additional writing will take place.

Then you have to budget the thing so you know how much money you need to raise and then you have to get the money. Nothing will stop any of that.

You can make calls for money, you can send the script to people, you can do budgets. The only thing that will be affected will be the actual start date. Which we didn’t know anyway. We may end up not being delayed at all.

Many thanks to Bruce Campbell for chatting with us.

[samanthaa-leanne]

*Whispers* Do them all! (If you're okay with it)

YES THANK YOU!!!!!

3 Fears: Spiders, snakes, and death.

3 things I love: Moon, pizza, animals.

2 turns on: Anime boys and more anime boys.

2 turns off: Non anime boys and uhh non anime boys.

My best friend: oof I have a lot. Theres my HS bff Krista, as well as @handsoffmyfriends @shinsou-lovin-hours-anon @yeet-these-hoez @taepoppin & @asadgwen

Sexual orientation: Bisexual.

How tall am I: 5′5 5′6 ish.

What do I miss right now: Getting 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Favourite color: Blue.

Do I have a crush: On about a million anime boys.

Favourite place: Beach.

What am I listening to right now: I’m watching Criminal Minds 

Shoe size: Don’t make fun of me but 10.5/11. I have big feet.

Eye color: Blue.

Hair color: Brown with blonde highlights.

Meaning behind my URL: It’s my first name with an additional A and my middle name

Favourite song: At the moment? Brand New Vision by Point North

Favourite band: Way too many to count. 

How I feel right now: Happy

Someone I love: All of you

My current relationship status: Married

My relationship with my parents: Ehh okay..

Favourite season: Summer/Fall

Tattoos and piercing i have: My ears used to be pierced and I have a matching tattoo with my dad

Tattoos and piercing i want: I have an anime sleeve planned, a moon phase tattoo, and a few song lyric tattoos. 

The reasons I joined Tumblr: I honestly don’t remember

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: No :(

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Yes.

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Like 20 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: Nope

Where am I right now?: My house

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?” The louder the better

Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Nope. I own my own house

Am I excited for anything?: I have a trip to japan planned for October

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: My brother Alex is honestly one of the best people in my life.

How often do I wear a fake smile?: 8 hours a day M-F while I’m at work

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Tom Holland or Johnny Depp or Jim Carrey. Honestly so many people

What do I think about most?: Haikyuu and BNHA

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind

What was the last lie I told?: That I don’t smoke pot lol

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: I prefer to text

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Yes and yes

Do I believe in magic?: Yes

Do I believe in luck?: Yes

What’s the weather like right now?: Its 92 degrees rn

What was the last book I’ve read?: I’m re-reading the House of Night series by P.C and Kristin Cast

Do I have any nicknames?: A lot. Sam, Sami, Sam I Am, Sammy Sosa, Bubbles

Do I spend money or save it?:  A little of both

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: No :(

Favourite animal?: Penguins and Flamingos

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Falling Like The Stars by Cole Norton

What is my favorite word?: Any cuss word. Probably fuck 

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: @myherowritings @handsoffmyfriends @akaashichigo @burnedbyshoto @gallickingun and so many more

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: What’s up bitches

Do I have any relatives in jail?: Nope

What is my current desktop picture?: My Karasuno babies

Had sex? Yes

Bought condoms? Yes

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Maybe? I don’t remember

Had job?: Yes

Smoked weed? Yes

Smoked cigarettes? No

Drank alcohol? Yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No 

Been overweight? Yes

Been underweight? No 

Gotten my heart broken? Yes

Been to prom? No

Been in airplane? Yes

Learned another language? Kinda? I did 4 years of German in HS but I don’t remember most of it.

Wore make up? Yes

Dyed my hair? Yes

Had a surgery? Does oral surgery count? I had my  wisdom teeth taken out

Met someone famous? No

Stalked someone on a social network? Maybe...

Been fishing? Yes

Been rejected by a crush? Yes

What do I want for birthday? Anything anime related tbh or maybe another tattoo

Do I like my handwriting? Ew no

Where do I want to live when older? North Carolina or somewhere where there’s no snow

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No

What I’m really bad at: Drawing

What my greatest achievments are: My SMAU’s

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: My dad called me a cunt one time 

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Pay off my house and my car and buy my mom the house she deserves.

What do I like about myself: My eyes

My closest Tumblr friend: @handsoffmyfriends

Any question you’d like? I really like the swings

Are you outgoing or shy? A little bit of both

What kind of people are you attracted to? Anime boys

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?: Yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?: My brother

What does the most recent text that you sent say? lol ok

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Me Against Myself by Wage War, Remembering Sunday by All Time Low, The Langdon House by Issues, Brand New Vision by Point North, Favorite Place by All Time Low.

Do you like it when people play with your hair?: AHHH YES

Do you think there is life on other planets?:  For sure

Do you like bubble baths? Yes

Do you like your neighbors? Yes

Where would you like to travel? Japan, Ireland, UK, Italy.

Favorite part of your daily routine? Leaving work lol

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach

What do you do when you wake up? Go pee

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Nope

Do you ever want to get married? I’m already married

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Sorta.

Would you rather live without TV or music? Neither

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes

What are your favorite stores to shop in? Target

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depending on what they do

Do you smile at strangers? Sometimes

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?: Nope

Ever wished you were someone else?: Sometimes

Favourite makeup brand?: I don’t use makeup

Last thing you ate?: Pizza

Ever won a competition? For what? Nope

Ever been in love? Yes

Facebook or Twitter? Twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? Yes, Criminal Minds

What colour are your towels? Multicolored

Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie n Cream

First person you talked to today? My husband

Last person you talked to today? My husband

Name a person you hate? I don’t hate anybody

Name a person you love? Everyone of you

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Probably lol

Do you tan a lot? Not anymore

Have any pets? 2 dogs and a kitty cat

Do you type fast? Yes

Do you regret anything from your past?: Ohh boy yes

Ever broken someone’s heart?: Probably @handsoffmyfriends with all my angst

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?: Yes

Is cheating ever okay? No

Do you believe in true love? Yes

What your zodiac sign? Virgo

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) “Beautiufl, see the cloud, the cloud appear. Beautiful, see the rain,  the rain draw near.”

[lizacstuff]

Bunch of anons about Carina and Roswell NM drama

Under the cut because it’s long and gossipy...

Anonymous said: Whatever nonsense Carina may have been up to with Jeanine and Nathan, both the leads have seemed to keep their private issues to themselves by not telling other cast or friends. That's why it angers me that the person who leaked the information disregarded Jeanine as a person and victim.

I’m of two minds on this.  On one hand I totally agree and I hate that Jeanine’s name was drug into this and her involvement was shared by the multiple inside sources, but on the other hand I do not like Carina, I think she was awful to work for, and I think it’s a good thing if it’s know in the industry that she created friction on set and was investigated by HR.  

She was so unprofessional, just from what we could see as fans, that she should NOT be put in charge of another show any time soon. So I think for the sake of people she will work with in the future, it’s a good thing it’s out there.  She has a whole lot of growing to do before she should ever work in television again. 

You make a good point about Jeanine and Nathan keeping their business to themselves.  Carina is out there over-sharing constantly, putting every neurosis on full display, and forcing half the cast to be out drinking and entertaining her on a regular basis. While those two, kept quiet and out of the spotlight. In interviews/panels they’ve both been completely professional, doing their jobs while also being charming, funny and eloquent.  

It was obvious to those of us watching closely that all was not well between J/N and Carina when the season started shooting. Carina was bitchier when she talked about them and those characters than she had been before, and J/N were nowhere to be seen in her braggy out-partyin’-with-my-cast IG stories and posts.  

As you say, it doesn’t look like J/N tried to drag any other cast or crew into whatever the issue was. I’m not sure the same can be said for Carina, that speaks volumes about the character of all involved. 

Anonymous said: I saw that abnormallyadam is doing a live social media thing with Jeanine and Vlamis soon. I guess we might get more information then and if Jeanine decides to say anything.

How hilarious would it be if Adam gets the scoop of a lifetime!?

I’m guessing this chat or whatever it is was set up before Jeanine and Vlamis knew the studio was going to swoop in and make their lives a whole lot better by firing Carina. So it will be interesting to see if it still happens on schedule or if it’s postponed for awhile.  

If it does go on, I think they will probably cover it really quickly and superficially like Vlamis did when he was schilling his merch the other night and then move on.  They won’t deep dive into it, that’s for sure. 

Anonymous said: Carina has been tweeting incessantly today! Like tweeting about other meaningless things won't make people forget lol. Also about that anon message you received about unfollowing nathan - wowwww she used to be up his butt.

Yes, remember the days when Carina used him as her social media crutch (every post she makes like that with a hot actor or country singer is basically her rampant insecurities saying: “hey look at the hot guy(s) who hang out with me and take pictures with me, it means I have value ya’ll!”) before she moved onto Trevino and then Vlamis.  So sad.   

They were clearly friends after The Originals and she invited him to audition.  I’m glad she did, he’s great in the role. Although it sounds like he was lucky that the President of the CW saw him and told her he was a leading man, since she didn’t see him as a lead. Sometime a friend’s preconceived notions might actually hold a person back... 

Who knows what happened, but just knowing human nature and Carina’s energy, I’ve always wondered if she thought she was going to have her friend on set and he was gonna be her social crutch, her go-to to entertain her and party with her, but right off the bat he and Jeanine got together so during the first season filming he wasn’t so much interested in the single, going-out partying lifestyle that she’s clearly addicted to and that rankled her a bit. Perhaps she lost her party buddy to her leading lady, and the loss of that attention “displeased” her. (to quote Kamran who said Carina told the writers to punish actors who displeased her by reducing their screen time. Interesting thought, no?)

Anonymous said: Well the interesting thing is some of the other people she follows don't post much either and she continues to follow them. Interesting interesting.

I know. She didn’t unfollow him because of that. That was definitely a show of cutting ties with him. It was probably in a fit of rage because she can’t unfollow Jeanine (because that would look terrible).  Also she has been so humiliated between being unceremoniously fired and losing her development deal with WB, the Hollywood Reporter article making her look terrible, and that writer spilling tea, that my guess is she’s hoping to shift focus to someone else and she knows unfollowing him will make us all wonder why. 

Anonymous said: Well shoot, maybe it was Nathan and not Jeanine who went to hr? And Carina found out? Or Nathan took the fall? Sorry I'm just going down a rabbit hole of conspiracy.

In my opinion there’s no reason to think those sources got it wrong. I would guess that Jeanine was involved, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t also involve Nathan.  Those two are a self-professed team, so no reason to think they wouldn't be in this instance as well. 

Anonymous said: Does this mean she'll unfollow Jeanine too??

I’m sure she wants to, but she can’t unless she wants to confirm that, yes, there was friction on the set and, yes, there was a specific problem with her leading lady.

Carina went out of her way to try and combat the “rumors” about her and Jeanine not getting along, addressing the situation in her goodbye post-- drawing more attention to it in the process-- so unfollowing her now would just make her look foolish and like everything she said was a lie and everything from the inside sources is true.  

Anonymous said: Carina will definitely do something stupid. She can't help herself. But even though there's no reason to follow Nathan, he's been inactive on Twitter for over a year and for her to unfriend now during this drama and mess...how is that a coincidence?

As I said above, I know it’s not a coincidence.  She’s dumb because by doing that she pretty much confirmed that there was friction on the set.  If there wasn’t, she wouldn’t be unfollowing the person in the main cast who she was closest too prior to the show. 

Part of me wonders if, as an old friend, she asked him for something (to defend her or a show of support) and he wouldn't do it.  Perhaps she’s most hurt by him not supporting her since they were friends before and she did give him a lead role on a network show (and also accidentally introduced him to his girlfriend.)  Maybe she thought he owed her and he didn't step up to defend her or even just give a tacit show of support by responding to her social media posts on leaving??

I’m guessing if he had come out of social media hibernation to give her one of those paltry “Thanks for everything” responses to her IG post like the other actors she wouldn't have unfollowed him. 

Anonymous said: Someone said the writer deleted all his tweets about Carina.

Not surprising, it was a crazy spree he was on, who wants to bet that he got contacted by a lawyer late Friday night?

I’m sure Carina was doing everything in her power to threatened him and to get him to stop. 

Anonymous said: I remember the writer also referring to Nathan as Carina's "friend." Is it in quotations because they are not actually friends? Frenemy? Carina was recently saying nice things about Nathan so based on her perspective, she thinks they were still on good terms?

Well they were apparently friends before he was cast, what happened after that is hard to say. They seemed fine during the promotion of season 1, but as soon as season 2 started filming, Carina’s tone when talking about him and Max got ugly and Nathan and Jeanine were staying far away from her socially. I mean Jeanine hosted a ladies Friendsgiving at their house, where 40 women from the cast and crew came over for a Thanksgiving feast, but the female showrunner wasn’t there. Hmmmm...

However, this spring things seemed to have thawed a bit.  Jeanine and Carina would occasionally like each other’s IG post (someone pointed out to me that had stopped during summer of 2019 and they didn’t engage with each other’s posts much if at all during S2 filming) Jeanine and Carina did that IG live and Carina was talking positively about Nathan and Max and seemed to be setting him up for a big season 3 with the dual roles and talking excitedly about that, so honestly, to me, it seemed like they had made their peace.  Perhaps Carina getting fired (and the straw that broke the camel’s back on that was clearly her idiotic tirade against the UK distributor) brought back up all the issues??? Or maybe Carina blamed them because of the prior issues? Or maybe they didn’t support her with the studio when she was trying to salvage her job? All I know is that Carina’s public behavior on social media is enough grounds to fire her, so she has no business blaming anyone but herself. 

Anonymous said: Someone said to the writer that jeanine, amber and nathan are staying silent on the matter and kamran replied that "Silence speaks louder than words." just above that they also were wondering who Carina harassed and bullied into silence? was it nathan?

Who knows... ask the writer. 

Anonymous said: Carina going from Zapit straight to writing for TVD is peak white privilege. After that THR article you could tell she believed a little too much how far that privilege would get her. Good riddance. Good luck getting another job for being such a big liability. I don't see any corporation hiring her again.

I think the only way she’s getting another job in TV anytime soon is if Julie gives it to her. She’s talented, once she grows up maybe she’ll be capable of running a show, but it was clear from the peanut gallery she should never have been given that amount of responsibility that she had on RNM. 

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

question for you! (Sorry if you've gotten this one already.) If you WERE going to direct a production of Les Huguenots, how would you do it? How would you cast it, what kinds of sets/costumes would you use, and how would you stage certain events?

Hi! Sorry about the long wait, as a) this is a rather long ask and b) I have Thoughts TM, but here goes!

Someone asked me virtually this exact question almost exactly one year ago, but a year is a year and a lot changes in a year (especially in a year like 2020 that forces you to reconsider your own life pretty much entirely but I digress), so here we go!

On the one hand, I feel like the opera could potentially work in just about any setting because of how universally human the main ideas and conflicts of the piece are (and I have seen a couple of pretty-conceptually-solid updated productions, most notably the Paris 2018 “hypothetical future” production although I feel like there were other things that production could have done way better). On the other hand, though, the piece does feel most at home in its original setting (historical grand opéra is not particularly well-known for updating well) and especially for updated productions, they tend to do a lot more “imposing of the concept”, to the production’s detriment. (For example, I overall loved the Geneva production but the movie studio business a) got very confusing very quickly, especially because it wasn’t consistent throughout the production and b) seemed to work against the story in some places rather than for it. However, when they dropped the movie studio business once and for all in the final scene, that was incredible. One of the best takes on the final scene I’ve ever experienced.)

So I’m really torn as to when exactly I would set it. And I’m going to be very honest with you: especially during the summer, a lot of what happened in 2020 uncomfortably reminded me of this opera, which makes me even more inclined to see a contemporary-set production (which I have never seen done—the closest is the 1991 Berlin production, which I can’t tell whether it’s set in the 1940s or the 1960s, as it seems to keep shifting between the two) provided that the director (whether it be me or no) actually takes the opera seriously and doesn’t mangle it with cuts or try to impose some sort of overarching concept.

Because everything you need to know about what this opera is trying to say is in the opera itself. You just have to know how and where to look.

Anyway, those are just my overall staging thoughts.

Sets and Costumes: Again, this is going to differ a little bit based on when someone chooses to set the opera, but the same basic guidelines work for both: big, realistic, but not too fussy sets, and costumes that look good and can differentiate different characters and parties easily. Usually, productions split Catholics and Huguenots by color, and while the Huguenots pretty much always end up with various brooding neutrals (which makes sense), what the Catholics get depends a lot on the production: in Paris, they got varying bright warm-colored shades, in Dresden (which I haven’t seen in full) and Montpellier they all got red and varying shades thereof, in Budapest they all got white and gold, in the most recent Berlin production (which I haven’t seen in full either) they got all different shades, but in nearly identical clothing styles (dress uniforms, tailored suits, and mid-20th-century ballgowns). Honestly, I think either “bright of all colors” or “white and shades thereof” work best because those are the most direct contrasts. So I think everyone gets put into one of these color schemes—except Valentine. 

Valentine is the in-between. (The rhyme is unintentional.) She is both, but she is neither. She isn’t moored to any one side. She’s the one bridge and the one true hope that both sides have, even more than Marguérite. She is the one person in the opera who can truly convince anyone to look at things with a more open mind (Nevers, you tried, but you failed. sorry.). And when she dies, any hope of peace and any hope of the opera miraculously turning out okay die with her. So she is the in-between. Her costumes have to contain elements of both sides, yet something all its own. (The Paris production, I think, got closest to this: with the exception of the wedding in Act III, she wore bluish-green, a color which no one on either side wore. The Sydney production, with the progression from pale blue to the Protestant black over the course of the opera, is also very close.)

Casting: Hoo boy, with the recent stream of productions worldwide, there have been plenty of great singers who have taken up these main roles as of late. I’d take at least four people from the superb Geneva cast (Osborn, Willis-Sørensen, Desandre, and Duhamel, who are all among the gold standards for their respective roles right now). Oropesa is a must-have. Relyea has done Marcel and while there’s no available full recording of the Dresden production so I can only say I’ve heard a tiny clip of him in the role, I’m fully confident he can do it anywhere. I’m not completely satisfied, to be frank, with any of the singers who’ve played Saint-Bris in different productions. (Seriously, this is a surprisingly hard role to pull off, and the one I find myself more often than not being disappointed by in terms of casting.) You know who I think would be a great fit? Gerald Finley. There. I said it. (Or maybe Christian van Horn.)

Staging Certain Events: I’m not 100% sure what you mean by this, but my main guideline here is “just look at what’s in the libretto and what it wants to tell you and don’t try to put in an ulterior concept because you’re more likely than not fuck it up and then just go out there and do it”. 

Although yes, so help me God, Nevers will get the heroic onstage death he deserves.

(If you have any specific requests, please send me another ask and I will amend this post accordingly. Also my brain came up with a New Way Of Staging The Ending That Somehow Makes It Even Worse, so if you want that too, DM me and I’ll tell you.)

Anyway, thank you for sending me this ask and letting me yell about this opera for a bit. Once again, sorry for the wait.

[nossbean]

@sarahoftarth tagged me ages ago, thank you and sorry it’s taken so long!! So pandemic brain has been doing a number on me the last couple of months (few weeks? honestly time means nothing atm which is probably part of the problem!) but I’ve been getting my energy back up in fits and starts, and I remembered this comfort meme! It seemed like a great time to pull it out and have a go 💕

🌿 Favourite comfort food: rolling around in starch, basically! Bangers and mash swimming in gravy has been my main comfort food since I was a tot, also love pizza and nachos just HEAPED with tasty things and ice cream sundaes with nuts and hot caramel drizzle thank you

🌼 Favourite drink: loooove iced blended matcha drinks. Am trying to figure out how best to replicate these at home. Alcohol-wise, either a Pimms with UK-style lemonade and all the fruity/vegetably bits, or a rosé cider.

🌷 Favourite relaxing activity: long baths with candles and either fiction podcasts, or music and a good novel or fic

🌻 Favourite calming scent: rain, all permutations, by far. 

🌺 Favourite relaxing/uplifting song: hmm the closest I can answer this is by revealing the contents of my ‘in case of emergency’ playlist, best played on shuffle: Mutha’uckas by Flight of the Conchords; Goodnight New York by Vienna Teng; Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman; A Million Dreams from the OST of The Greatest Showman; Across the Stars from the Star Wars OST; and rounding it out, two from Galavant: No One But You and I Love You (As Much As Somebody Like Me Can Love Anybody). 

🍄 Favourite book to get lost in: Oh geez. This is hard for me to answer because I get lost in written stuff a lot. Instead of specifying a fave, I’ll just answer the last book I got lost in, which was All Systems Red by Martha Wells, the first in her Murderbot series. Best summed up as a robot security guard (refers to self as Murderbot) who just wants to be left alone to watch its shows but accidentally catches feelings for the humans it has been contracted to work for. Would v highly recommend, the story is a lot of fun, has great worldbuilding, and is in all ways a romp. Also, pro-tip, Tor.com’s newsletter gives away a free SFF ebook monthly, which is how I got this one (in fact, I’m pretty sure All Systems Red has been their free giveaway at least twice in the last 18 months or so, so a good chance it’ll come around again!)

💐 Favourite chill out TV show: a rotation of Mike Schur shows <3 Parks and Rec will forever be the show of my heart, but The Good Place is a close second, with Brooklyn Nine-nine bringing up the rear.

🍃 Favourite cheering podcast: I’ve added this one because I listen to loooaaads of podcasts and reckon I’m not the only one! That said, feel free to delete as needed! There’s two I’d definitively recommend, starting with The Good Place: The Podcast. Initially it was essentially episode commentaries done in podcast interview format, and now it’s expanded to a bit of additional content (they did an episode on the recent Parks & Rec special, for instance). It’s a really great listen, with lots of talk about all the things that make The Good Place wonderful with the crew & cast. I could honestly happily listen to hundreds of hours of Mike Schur interviewed by Mark Evan Jackson about the philosophical underpinnings of the show. It also has this bonus lovely segment at the end of every episode called, “What’s Good” wherein each guest shares something good in their lives/the world, and I’ve actually pulled that concept into my advocacy meetings because it’s so nice. 

And the other is How Did This Get Made of which I’ve been listening to a lot the last few weeks. They’ve got a long back catalogue, a lot of their discussions go off the rails in the most delightfully cracky and funny ways, and particularly of late, they are a Safe Listen, in that they’re politically conscious and bring that into their discussions which is great because a lot of the films they watch are... hoooo-eeeee. Not. (Note this doesn’t hold for their earlier eps necessarily. They’ve been doing the podcast for 10 years and the hosts have Been On a Journey which is nice in a different way!) Bonus shoutout to The Guilty Feminist for your comedy/serious-discussion-of-feminist-concepts needs, and The Strange Case of the Starship Iris for your radio drama-esque progressive radical rebels in a space ship sci-fi needs (which, honestly, I didn’t know I needed this until I listened to it and fell in love)

🌹 The best advice you’ve ever had: oh gosh. Okay, I’m offering two since I am apparently in a rambling mood this evening! One of a more personal persuasion and then also the best piece of professional advice I’ve received. So personally: try to be gentle with yourself and remember you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough. I’m trying to remind myself of this on the daily, as pandemic brain has taken me the fork out for the last while and I’m feeling behind on All The Things. The compulsive worker in me caveats that there are times when being gentle with myself can be taken too far, but frankly, I’ve found I’ve never been in the brainspace to have that constructive conversation about when I need to push myself a bit, if I haven’t been able to acknowledge the time before has been as much as I can give (that’s a convoluted sentence and I hope it makes some sense!) So in case it’s helpful: you, yes you reading this: you’re doing the best you can. And that’s enough 💙

Professionally and relating to teamwork, as I used to work in a high-pressured and often very time-sensitive field where projects had multiple moving parts, often based out on location, and where teamwork was basically the only thing which could guarantee success: when things go right, celebrate responsible individuals as well as the team on the whole. When things go wrong, tackle it as a team only. (There are caveats of course: ‘go wrong’ holds a whole host. But assuming we mean simple human error as opposed to bigotry, harassment, or malice, then the point is that it does no one any good to point fingers, or pillory any individuals, particularly since sometimes/often it was a collective erring along the way in any case. And if needs be, there can always be a debrief later) In my experience: this works well to getting a team through some of the worst of situations, and creates a more cooperative working environment overall. Also, a related note, is that particularly when the error comes from someone lower on the hierarchy, who is probably overworked and underpaid, this approach is far better for encouraging learning and growth than anything else.

Tagging: @amuserobin @forbiddenfantasies1 @djeli-beybi @brynnmck @beesreadbooks @ajoblotofjunk @fireinthetwilight @twelvemonkeyswere @klingofff @pretty--thief @ilikeblue @ronordmann and truly anyone else who fancies it! Not sure how much this one went around so sorry if I’m double tapping you & would love to see your answers!

[kshitij1997]

Welcome back!

Well, the die has been cast, and Europe shall endure the consequences. Or will it?

Onward with the story :)

All Frozen and Tangled characters belong to Disney. All I own is this retelling and some original characters.

Chapter 10: Felino the crooked nose

 

February the 5th, 1828,

‘You’re a frigid, wormy piece of shit, you know that?’, growled the recently anointed Tsar at the Arendellian Monarch. Not a good sign for the conference the concert of Europe had arranged; the Monarch of Arendelle was hellbent on closing his country yet again, and no one was willing to budge on their stance.

‘I care not for the impression you choose to have about me, your majesty. I have my reasons and my fears to support my decision. I have to do what I feel is best for my kingdom, as would you if you faced a decision of a similar magnitude.’ Agnarr stated his position calmly, even as he felt no genuine respect for the Russian Monarch. Unlike his late brother, Tsar Nicholas the first had no great capacity for empathy and understanding. He had chosen to keep himself and his people ignorant. After all, what could one say of the sovereign who treated his highest officials and closest advisors like the serfs he saw them to be, and the holy synod under him bragged openly about how it was their god given duty to keep the downtrodden as they were. Oh, how their man, Sergei Uvarov, the Tsar’s minister of education, openly declared: “If I can extend Russia’s childhood another fifty years I will consider my mission accomplished.”

Oh, the Tsar saw himself as a god, and a jealous one at that. Agnarr understood that and knew that as a fellow sovereign, the Tsar could do little but rant in his face for the insult. Even if he would want to wage war upon Arendelle, he wouldn’t wish to give up access to the only warm water seaport he had. Still, Agnarr’s worries were far greater than some disgruntled people in power.

Elsa had lost control of her powers and was crippled in her fear, Anna had been forced to selective amnesia from Grand Pabbie, leaving no trace of Elsa’s powers and Olva...well she hadn’t been so fortunate. Against the advice of Grand Pabbie, he and Iduna had insisted on the procedure of wiping her memory clean of Elsa’s powers and the accident. The hermit warned of the consequences he was facing now with Olva, but how was he to know in his panic and desperation? Now the poor girl had begun experiencing fits and severe headaches, along with bouts of fainting for several minutes. He hadn’t slept this past month properly in the worry of what could happen to his family. Now he had a solution, and he would not back off from it. He must protect his family in any way possible. He must.

‘Your majesties, please don’t antagonise each other. This concerns all of us. You’re not the only ones troubled here. King Agnarr, you’d best explain yourself.’, queen Sophia spoke firmly as she presided over the conference. Agnarr’s declaration had shocked everyone, and he was yet to provide an explanation.

‘Thank you, queen Sophia. I have no intent on stepping on anyone’s face or insulting anyone. This sudden policy of isolation is a measure of precaution. I have it on reliable sources and personal knowledge that there are elements of revolution and insurgency brewing up in my kingdom. I can’t ignore it like the previous bourbon king of France in his time, god rest his soul. I must deal with these rebels quickly and with extreme prejudice. Because if I don’t then Arendelle falls forever, and if Arendelle falls, all northern Europe shall sink along with it.

And before you decide on persecuting war against me, ask yourselves this. Haven’t we had enough of war? We saw 2 decades of war followed by a decade of relative peace. If you ask me, I’d rather prefer the latter. I make this tough choice for the safety of all Europe, please understand.’

He paused to size up the room, who could be his allies and enemies hereafter. Corona and Austria-Hungary were definitely his allies; he knew Reginald would support him in the end. Weselton and the English would be against it; his partnership with them and America would be at risk, he’ll have to accommodate them somehow. Same was the situation with Russia. Maybe the Ottomans had to be brought in to keep Russia in check? Spain and the Southern Isles could be neutral; the Spanish could not care less, their main rivals were the English and the French, they would only vote as a formality. As for the Southern Isles were represented by queen Paulina, for the king had taken ill. On the surface, Paulina looked pleasant and charismatic, yet Agnarr knew that she would be a formidable and dangerous foe if he didn’t play this right. He began to speak again but was rudely interrupted.   

‘And what would be these insurgent elements? The Northuldra?’, asked the duke of Weselton. The room tensed at the duke’s blatant attempt towards badgering the king of Arendelle. Agnarr had to fight a very strong impulse towards bashing the duke’s head on the wall. After composing himself mentally, he replied with barely concealed intentions ‘Why, yes. They have been neglected for far too long. I must attempt to bring them up with the kingdom. They are too obscure and are getting discontent.’

‘Just the language your father used, didn’t he? And where is he now? Lost like the rest of them. I’m telling you; this country is a lost cause. The Northuldra are ‘discontent’? Don’t make me laugh. They’re out for your and your family’s blood. They have been for years.’, the duke was clearly enjoying himself at Agnarr’s expense.

‘And if I hope to pursue a peaceful solution and keep Europe out of the mess, what is so wrong with that, duke?’, Agnarr nearly spat out the last part.

‘It’s always something personal. What, a problem with your kids now?’

‘Why, your uncouth son of a-‘

‘ENOUGH!’, the presiding queen roared. ‘That’s the second time you have tried to lay discord in the concert on purpose, duke. Once it was over my kidnapped child and now this. I swear, if it happens again, you’re going to meet your maker without warning, in front of everyone!’

‘I can’t believe you’re still going on about your bloody kid. She’s fucking dead! I always get enraged how the kings of Europe are disturbed about such trivial matters, and I’m to be punished because I call out the bullshit for what it is?! Fine. Hang, draw, and quarter me all you want, that does not change the fact that once again, some people are sullying the good name of the concert for their own interests.’, the duke spat venom without a care.

‘I’ve heard enough. Marshals, break the duke’s kneecaps.’, an enraged Sophia gave the cold order to her personal guard. The duke’s bravado melted away instantly, and he shrunk in his stature as the marshals came to deal with him.

‘Sophie, stop!’ King Reginald shouted.

‘Pray tell, what now, Reginald?’ his spouse was beyond annoyed by now.

The king of Corona whispered in his spouse’s ear ‘We’ll get the coward some other time. I need to talk sense into Agnarr somehow. I advise you to break for recess.’ A rare sight for the usually tempestuous king to calm down his calmer, more pragmatic wife.

Queen Sophia sighed heavily and announced a recess.

Once they were alone, Reginald confronted Agnarr ‘What’s gotten into you, Agnarr? You’re supposed to be the sensible one amongst us two.’       

‘I’ll tell you what’s sensible. I should invade the fucking duchy of Weselton, lay it to fucking waste, burn it to the fucking ground, and salt the fucking remains barren forever!’ Agnarr snarled with uncharacteristic murder in his eyes.

‘Oh, calm down, crusader. I hate the duke much more than you do, believe me. Nevertheless, even I must agree with that poltroon over your course of action. It’s drastic and uncalled for. Tell me honestly what’s bothering you. We’ll make it right. Tell me.’

‘You don’t believe me? I told you every reason I have for doing this. My kingdom has only just recovered from the previous war. I can’t risk another. I certainly can’t afford it to become a pan-European conflict. At the end of the day, I just want my heir to inherit a stable state. An agitated group of people is not the hallmark of a stable state. Even if it takes me years, I must resolve this once and for all.’

Reginald spoke empathetically ‘Alright, but it still is a visceral reaction to the situation. I think foreign aid would only help more. Are you sure about it?’

Agnarr thought about telling the truth to his best friend, but ultimately decided otherwise; he couldn’t let the secret get out in any circumstance.

‘Yes I am. I also believe that those so-called insurgents are supplied by foreign powers themselves; they would like nothing more than to make my kingdom their colony. And that fucking Weselton shill... I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s behind the whole damn thing.’

‘That may be true, but without solid evidence, we can’t deal with him effectively. We must be sure.’ Reginald advised him.

‘Alright, but I can’t back down from my position. Yes, my kingdom will suffer in the short run, but I know we’ll be secure and united eventually.’

Ultimately, the concert decided that Arendelle would only keep one point of access open to the outside world; the main port. Only diplomats and special traders would be allowed. Every other traveller, from tourist to student would have to be barred from entering the country. It may cause uprising among the international students in his kingdom, but he’ll have to deal with them on his down. To preserve the security, the red tape for the traders and businessmen became very harsh. All, in service towards protecting my family; Agnarr thought.

A week later

A craven figure along with half a dozen guards floated in a rowboat towards one of the northern shores of Arendelle, beyond the mist. A hooded figure in silhouette waited for them on shore, heavily dressed to protect them self against the bitter February cold. Upon reaching the shore, the hooded bowed in respect and said ‘Welcome, honourable duke of Weselton. I hope your journey was pleasant enough.’

‘As pleasant a trip I could hope in stormy, waning winter, thank you for asking.’, the duke removed his cloak and coat to make his face more visible, and gestured his guards to disembark and stand around. The scrawny man took a moment to stretch himself, and at length, spoke ‘How many instances of forbidden people wandering into your grounds?’

‘Not as many as before, however a group of the Iceni tribe were intercepted in the valley of death during patrol two months ago and dealt with without exception. No survivors that we know of.’

‘Good, the illegals are dwindling, soon they would be no problem. However, as long as Arendelle stands, you’ll never be safe. We’ll have to confront them once and for all.’

‘Let’s continue our discussion on the way to camp, honourable duke.’

The Northuldrian camp was twenty-five kilometres inland from the seashore, but the spirits had grown very erratic in recent years, so the Northuldra had to find new routes to their homes every few weeks. The latest incident was particularly severe; a landslide had destroyed the usual detour they took, so they had to take the tributaries by another boat, a slower but safer way of travel.

‘Forgive me, honourable duke. I know travel by water does not agree with you.’

‘I’ll live. Tell me, how is everything holding up north of the mist?’

‘We’re eking out a living somehow. As you know, the rivers have been gradually changing course towards the south, our arable lands are going barren as a result. Adding to the problem, the rains are becoming scarcer with every passing year bit by bit. I regret to inform you that the poppy plantation is facing a loss, the raw material for the heroin would be short this time.’

‘It seems you’ve lost the plot, haven’t you? How will I get you your weapons if your end of the bargain is low? Weapons, armament, lumber and steam technology for ships don’t come cheap, you know?’ the duke said with the faux humility that masked grave threats underneath, and the hooded figure knew well what those threats were. Nevertheless, a low yield was not the biggest problem.

‘There’s more, honourable duke. Arendelle has tried to sue for peace and is willing to cooperate.’

‘Yes, I heard. We both know it’s nonsense.’

‘I’m not so sure. The terms they have offered seem rather reasonable.’

‘I’m sure they are. They may be too reasonable, I’m afraid. Implying something between the lines. The implication being disastrous for the Northuldra. If you ask me, I would never take any terms Europe offers at face value.’

‘I’m a fair sceptic of the south, just as you are. But since the rise of the mist, they have not engaged in any big skirmishes.’

The duke sighed and said ‘It pains me to say it, but you lack an ocean of imagination. There are uncountable ways to fight a war of attrition, and Arendelle has chosen the most insidious way.’

‘What do you mean, duke?’

‘I’d rather tell this to everyone at once, instead of making it a poor game of translation errors.’, with that, the duke fell silent, knowing full well that the hooded figure’s doubts had been flared up.

After a voyage of two hours, the party reached the camp. A huge crowd had gathered upon the riverbank where the canoe stopped. The hooded figure removed his hood and stood beside the Northuldra leader as her most trusted vassal. The Northuldra leader went by the name of Yelena, a woman moving towards middle age, standing barely above the duke in stature, but those aged eyes had seen many ups and downs. The leader slightly prostrated herself before the duke; the Northuldra way of showing respect towards authority.

‘Welcome, o duke! I hope your voyage was pleasant.’

‘As much as I could hope it to be. I must say, the Northuldra’s native lands grow more beautiful every time I venture up’ the duke said.

‘Your grace flatters us. I believe my trusted vassal has given you the lowdown for everything that has happened in the past three months. We’ll be happy to discuss a compromise for the goods you need.’

‘Thank you, your excellency. However, my worries include the survival of the Northuldra as well.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

‘You may have received terms from the king of Arendelle for a peaceful cessation in the past few days, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, they are more reasonable than I expected.’

‘I feared so, for if you paid attention, you’d realise that the terms are too positive. They’re willing to overlook the massacre of the group of Iceni that happened two months ago. Not to mention the fact that they may have stumbled about the truth about our trade operation as well.’

‘Speaking of the trade operation, what we may be short of in terms of goods, we’ll make up in plunder in the North Atlantic. I have sanctioned three fleets for the same purpose later this week.’

‘That is encouraging, but I must warn you, the plundering operation would become very difficult very soon. What with the king of Arendelle sealing the kingdom’s maritime and overland borders.’

‘Excuse me, come again?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you knew.’

‘No, I didn’t. Please enlighten us, your grace.’

‘Well, your excellency, the king of Arendelle has decided to isolate the country, and I quote his speech: “This sudden policy of isolation is a measure of precaution. I have it on reliable sources and personal knowledge that there are elements of revolution and insurgency brewing up in my kingdom. I can’t ignore it like the previous bourbon king of France in his time, god rest his soul. I must deal with these rebels quickly and with extreme prejudice. Because if I don’t, then Arendelle falls forever, and if Arendelle falls, all northern Europe shall sink along with it.” Now you tell me, is this the language a man would use while suing for peace?’

Yelena became quiet for a moment, taking in al the information. At length, she asked ‘What are the possible ramifications of this declaration?’

‘They could be numerous, but I’ll tell you the most obvious one. Within a month at the latest, the coasts would be dotted by the Arendellian navy, putting a blockade through which nothing except their own ships could get in or out. You can imagine they would be only too happy to hunt down your pirate ships before you’re able to secure any loot at all. You can’t raid through the land, as the mist is your most powerful jailer. It will surely be a stifling experience; I won’t deny it.’

‘What if we do sue for peace? If we sincerely send an envoy to the south?’

‘Aye, you could try that. In fact, I suggest you try that without fail.’ Interrupted a tall, dark man as he made his way inside Yelena’s tent.’

‘Mathias, just because the mist forces me to tolerate and learn to like your presence doesn’t mean you interrupt me in meetings about the matters of state.’ Yelena bristled with annoyance.

‘Believe me, once the mist lifts up, I’ll ride south, first thing on my to-do list.’

‘Mathias, you look familiar. Tall, dark, muscular, good posture. Does your Ethiopian father still till the grain and tan the leather shoes?’, making harsh, cutting remarks was a talent the duke used well.

‘No. Does the honourable duke take me for his wretched bastard slaves in the Congo?’ Mathias growled.

‘Gentlemen, please. Your grace, please don’t mind Mathias. Yes, he’s a southerner. He was in king Runeard’s personal guard from what I gather. He may look brutish and imposing, but he’s harmless and dare I say, a halfway decent man. He doesn’t usually interrupt one of my meetings, so this instance must be special. Tell us big boy, what should bother us?’ Yelena finished as she turned to Mathias.

‘I’m sorry. I’m not willing to entertain the stories of a deserter.’, the duke said nonchalantly.

‘As if your pip squeakiness has ever been in a battle to judge a trapped prisoner of war?’ Mathias seethed.

‘See, even he agrees, we’re at war.’ Oh, they were all playing right into my hands, the duke thought with glee.

‘Yes, and now peace must be made. Yelena, this is not the time to go on the offensive. Trust me.’ Mathias faced Yelena as he settled down beside her.

‘Maybe, but it is a peace we would be forced into. We want it on our own terms, Mathias. I understand you’re homesick, but we haven’t had a home to go back to for decades. We will assert our terms onto the king, and he will have to accept it. If he doesn’t, it’s war.’

‘Lofty words, your excellency. Alas, there’s no substance or weight to back your words. You’ll be blockaded soon, and travel by land is impossible anyhow. I suggest you make a permanent settlement here and be done with it.’, the duke laid the bait.

‘And perpetually disturb the peace of the spirits by claiming their sacred forest? Never.’, and Yelena took it.

‘Well, I can’t negotiate such a big difference in your quantity of goods. You’ll have to offer me something if I must continue supporting your struggle. What about lumber from the forest?’

‘You must be reading a fucking comedy. When we refuse to make a permanent settlement in the forest, YOU PROCEED TO SUGGEST SOMETHING FAR WORSE?!’, Mathias had half a mind to strangle the duke right there, when he was stopped by Yelena.

‘Sit down, Mathias! We’re in desperate times. We’ll have to do what we must in order to survive.’

‘Making a bad situation worse is survival?! Can you imagine or fathom withstanding the rage of the spirits if we cut down the forest?! How can you even consider this, Yelena?’

‘If I may ease your concerns, I’ll vouch for the fact that a sacred relic commands a lot of value in the market. Especially amongst those who are powerful, proud, wealthy and don’t ask too many questions. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll introduce a tiny amount in the market. People would recognize it as sacred or magical with plenty of history behind it. Once I do that, I can manipulate the price for it and bring you all the money, all the weapons, all the ships you need.’, the duke reassured the Northuldra leader.

Yelena spoke at length ‘Alright, I agree to the venture. Let’s begin with ten logs.’

Mathias hung his head in defeat and nursed his forehead, which had begun to throb. This is not going to end well.

Yelena tried to comfort him after the duke left ‘Listen, for every tree we cut down, we’ll plant ten, I promise.’

‘Even if you do that, it won’t be the sacred forest of the fifth spirit anymore.’ Mathias said ruefully.

As the duke made his way to the ship waiting off the coast on his rowboat, one of his taciturn guards asked him ‘Your grace, why do we need these bunch of sheep worshippers?’

The duke grinned darkly ‘When a rival nation is at war with itself, best let it consume itself.’

Around the same time, somewhere in northern Greece

‘Rider, move your ass and get over here!’ A portly man called out as he wiped a greasy hand on his apron.

‘Coming, Elios!’ Flynn came running in. He was now a man of seventeen; having seen a fair bit of the world by now and had been working with Elios for a few months. Elios had hidden Flynn to save him from ‘The Hawk’, a notorious smuggler who had trapped him in his ring. In return, Flynn agreed to work for him in his front business.

‘Why must I go through this fucking chore every time? To have to call you up like a fucking parade float to just do your blessed job?’

‘I’m sorry for being two minutes late. I already did the prep for tonight; the bar has been cleaned and stocked. I just took a nap, calm your tits.’

‘I’ve heard that many times, give me something new Flynn’ Elios rolled his eyes.

‘What do you think I’ve been doing? Making merry around the city square? Come on, I know better than that.’

‘Don’t bother lying to me. I swear, one of those women is gonna make you the sacrificial goat someday.’

‘Alright, I heard your speech. Got it, can we move on?’

Elios wiped some sweat off his forehead and asked, ‘You know who’s coming tonight?’

‘Yeah I do, friends loyal to the Greek cause.’ Flynn answered without faltering

‘Not just any friend, mind you. The Gent is coming along with the Sicilians.’

Flynn’s ears perked up at that piece of news. The Gent was a legend in Northern Greece, almost singlehandedly forming the on-land resistance against the Ottomans in the Greek war of independence. He had been involved in the resistance for nearly seven years now and was lobbying for foreign support.

‘Wow, that’s a hero if I ever saw one.’

‘I told you I’ll introduce you to him soon. Today’s the day.’

‘Now, why would he visit an affluent restaurant filled with Turks day in and out, I’m sure I don’t know.’ Flynn stated incuriously.

‘Hey Flynn, let his people worry about it. I’m sure his people would be clever enough to figure it out.’ Elios was a practical man who knew the streets well, however, forethought was not his strongest suit.

‘No, Elios. Hear me out. If the Gent is ambushed here, we’re done for. Everything will be up for grabs and I know neither of us would like the prick of the cold sabre chopping our necks. And if we know The Gent is coming, the officials certainly know. And if the Sicilians find out, you’ll end up wearing concrete shoes, old boy. You may know the gutters and the roads, but I know loyalty.’

‘What do you suppose we do now? We can’t really serve them in public view.’

‘That is true. Tell you what, let’s clear the cellar for their dinner. I’m sure they don’t want any outsider to hear what they are discussing amongst themselves. Also, I think you should serve them personally, Elios.’

‘No can do. I’m the front. If I don’t stay there, they’ll investigate. You’ll have to serve them yourself. I’m sorry Flynn. The Gent trusts me, if he sees that I consider you worthy, he’ll be comfortable.’

But I don’t know the first thing about him and the others. What if I offend them without meaning to?’

‘Don’t be stupid, Flynn. We both know you know better than that. If the service is good, they’ll fill your pockets with enough dosh to set you up for years. If I truly know you, you wouldn’t miss this opportunity for the world.’

‘Alright, I’ll do it. Say Elios, what if I warm them personally first about the last-minute change of scenery?’

‘No. I’ll have to warn them myself. Set the cellar up. I did contact them two days ago; I’ll do it again.’

‘Just make sure you’re not followed.’

‘Hey Rider, who knows the street better?’

‘You do, clearly.’

‘Yup. I’ll be back soon.’

A few hours later, a party of people showed up. There was the Gent, a tall slender man, worn down by the hiding and fighting. His face was warm enough, save for the green eyes that could bore holes through the Earth, and a crooked mouth that had a scare across the top lip. Still, he felt like a man who could fight forever. As for the Sicilians, they were something else entirely.

It was a band of seven people. The man most fancily dressed, along with the ruby ring on his little finger and the gold watch and chain, was obviously the leader. The six were presumably his bodyguards, each one burlier and more imposing that the last, looking like killers happy to kill a priest in the middle of a sermon. Ruthless and royal. Dressed to the nines up to their plug caps.

Flynn suddenly felt dwarfed and puny.

‘Gentlemen, this is Flynn, he’s been working with me for a few months, he’ll be serving you tonight.’ Elios gave a short introduction and left. Flynn gave a short bow, not sure how to address these powerful men.

‘What’s your name, green boy?’ The Gent asked.

‘Flynn.’

‘How old are you?’

‘Going to be seventeen next month.’

You’re not from around these parts, are you? Your accent tells me....Austria Hungary?’

‘No sir, Corona. The Rhinelands, to be exact.’ 

‘Uh huh. How’d you end up in Greece?’

‘War orphan from the Napoleonic wars, pushed around all of Europe, ended up here.’ By now, Flynn knew the story by heart.   

‘My condolences. Ok Flynn, you’re going to undergo something unpleasant. Forgive me, just the nature of these times. I need to be sure of your loyalty.’

Before Flynn could reply, one of the goons was upon him, almost choking him with his weight, pressing down on his spine. Even if Flynn had any wind left him, he couldn’t yell.

‘Answer me, why was the room changed at such short notice?’

‘When the Gent asks, you better fucking answer, figlio di sfagato!’

‘Get off him, let him speak.’ The goon got off at once.

Flynn coughed and gasped for air. When he could breathe normally, he said weakly , ‘Mr. Gent, it was Mr. Elios who suggested it.’ Flynn barely finished his sentence before receiving a punch in the gut, knocking the air out of him.

‘That’s a lie. Elios is not that big a thinker. You seem to be smarter than you let on. Why’d you try to protect us from the Turks?’

‘I didn’t want them to kill you here. That would be underhanded and filthy. I’ve heard....heard that you believe in engaging them head on, I didn’t want them to ambush you. You’re a hero around here, would be a shame if I couldn’t do my bit for your cause.’ Flynn was hit yet again by the goon, this time in his nose. Blood had begin ebbing from his mouth and nose.

‘You’ve said enough. I can guess the rest of the story. Either betray the Turks and face the sabre or betray us and face getting shot in the face. Why choose us over them?’

‘I gambled here.....I’d rather be loyal to someone fighting the slavers for freedom than the slaver themselves.’ Flynn braced himself for another hit, but the hit never came.

Instead he could hear a chuckle from the Sicilian leader, who had gestured his goon to stand down. He approached Flynn and held him by the cheek, saying in thick accent, ’Felino. That’s your name from now on. Felino the crooked nose. Drinks on the house, all night. Keep the drinks up, you’ll be richer than the sultan come morning. Good boy.’

The leader, or don as they were calling him now, lightly tapped his cheek and went back to his place, settling down with the Gent and the other goons. Flynn left the room and almost crumpled on the floor. I could’ve died there, he thought for a second. Nevertheless, he composed himself and put on his charm; Felino the crooked nose had a job to do.

Ha, the duke of Weselton’s such a bastard, always stirring up shit wherever he goes lol. I love the potential his character has.

Our Man Flynn is serving the big boys now! What could happen?

Thanks again to those who continue reading this silly story :P

As always, constructive feedback is always welcome!