#like my deepest friendships are mostly just ‘send funny meme/bitch about work’ friends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

figureitoutinthemorning · 2 months ago

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Hmmmmm okay you all can ignore this lmao I’m just going to Complain On The Internet for a bit because I’m pretty sure it’s that or tell the next person to say hi my entire life story, and no one wants that, least of all me ✌️

#I imagine I am extremely boring to be around right now lmao but anyway #nothing’s unfixable and nothing is stuck like this #and if the version of me from a year ago saw me and found out I’d got back into acting? like I have an agent now and I’m getting roles #and auditions and stuff? past me would be so excited!!! and present me is too!#but it’s just everything else #99% sure I’m going to fail the panel resit on Wednesday #which is fine I mean I already have a master’s degree! no one NEEDS another postgraduate degree lol #at least not in my line of work #but I suppose another string to the bow would’ve been nice #anyway I’m sending off all these job applications so I can get out of Freelance Copywriter Hell #but it’s just rejection after rejection and sure I can manage as a freelancer but it’s shitty and unpredictable #and even with the cat I hate being at home it’s so quiet and empty #and sure I have friends but none of them are within ‘text to say I’m coming over’ distance #and I’m not close with any of them #I’ve known some of them for years but the ones I used to be close to have moved on #like my deepest friendships are mostly just ‘send funny meme/bitch about work’ friends #honestly the closest I’ve been with anyone recently was going out-out with the cast and crew form one of the shorts I’m working on #but like. we are Work Friends you know. a lot of them knew each other already but there are lines I can’t cross if we’re all gonna stay #*stay professional #oh and then there’s my grandmother’s funeral on Friday and I’m so angry for reasons I don’t understand #like I’m not angry at her for being dead. I didn’t even really cry about it #but it’s just been ‘hmm I could kick a wall right now’ for weeks now #I don’t even know what’s wrong with me recently #I keep trying to record music stuff but every time I open my mouth to sing I just want to snap the microphone cable #and if I was sad that would be one thing but I’m not #I’m just like… flat???? like I showed up somewhere and forgot to bring myself #does that make any sense #and I don’t want to be around my family on Friday and I don’t know why it’s not really fair to them #but I don’t even want to hear myself talk right now never mind anyone else #anyway it’s fine. cry about it then get a grip lmao

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