#honestly screw anyone who thinks centipede were right

[cbs-scorpion-coffee-shop]

Dude they basically dogpiled on him and people say he's the wrong one

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-31

Mainline upd8 before the June break.  More Terezi!  That should put me in a better mood. (1 edit (2020-06-01) since posting)

> CHAPTER 10. 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3

Wait, fuzzily waking up seeing the new planet?

Wait, why is the site background still black?

Wait, is this one of the new alien race members just created?

That would explain the chapter title.  (Especially if they were part plant, but Terezi would say that regardless, when you think about it.)

> ==>

Coming more into focus.

> ==>

Oh!  Back to the normal background.

TEREZI: W3LL

She’s not the one seeing this, so is this an alien perspective or does Rose’s visual processing take a while to turn back on post-warranty-breach?

> ==>

Huh?  It WAS her point of view?

So this:

--is just an attempt at rendering her smell-o-vision?

I know her sense of smell is supposed to be amazing, but this is MARKEDLY less paint-like than previous depictions of her smell-o-vision.  See for comparison:

Was this an intentional difference in clarity? Laziness? Her scent-vision being sharper?  They’re practically making us feel like her eyes are healed again, which would be disastrous, and not something even Ultimate Rose should necessarily be capable of.

(I’m inclined to give them less credit than usual today, though, so a poor visual choice most likely.)

TEREZI: TH4T W4S PR3TTY FUCK1NG STUP1D

Hate-screwing Rosebot?  Why?

I guess it’d leave you sore.

> ==>

TEREZI: F4LL1NG 4SL33P H3R3 1S JUST 4SK1NG FOR TROUBL3

Oh.  Are the new races - or their precursor “experiments” running around?

> ==>

TEREZI: NODD1NG OFF L1K3 TH4T UND3RN34TH 4N 4RBOR34L 4MBUL4TOR TEREZI: WHO KNOWS WH4T COULD H4V3 H4PP3N3D TEREZI: Y34H 4LR1GHT, 4LR1GHT TEREZI: G3T OFF MY C4S3 4BOUT 1T ALR34DY TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 D1D 1T ON PURPOS3

Is Terezi talking to her other selves or something?  Or another brain ghost?

TEREZI: W3R3 JUST LUCKY TH3R3 1SNT 4NY W1ND 4T TH3 MOM3NT TEREZI: 1V3 3ST4BL1SH3D TH4T TH1S 1S WHY TH3Y MOV3 TEREZI: TH3 4MBUL4TORS 4R3 PL4NTS IN THE STR1CT S3NS3, BUT EXH1B1T LOCOMOT1V3 B3H4V1OUR DU3 TO TH31R UN1QU3 CONSTRUCT1ON

Ooh, moving trees.  Nice.

TEREZI: TH3 M41N BODY OF THE PL4NT CONS1STS OF A N3TWORK OF HOLLOW, TUB3LIKE GROWTHS THROUGH WH1CH 41R M4Y TR4V3L TEREZI: TH3S3 N3TWORKS 4R3 SO SOPH1ST1C4T3D TH4T TH3 SH1FT1NG PR3SSUR3 1NS1D3 TH3 TRUNK 4ND BR4NCH3S C4N C4US3 TH3 3NT1R3 PL4NT TO UPROOT 1TS3LF 4ND B3G1N "W4LK1NG", PROV1D3D TH3 COND1T1ONS 4R3 R1GHT TEREZI: TH1S PROC3SS, WH1L3 M4J3ST1C, C4N H4V3 DR4ST1C 3FF3CTS ON TH3 PL4NTS SURROUND1NGS

I know you like to eat them, but when did your analysis of plantlife get so clinical?  Do you have Aranea blabbing in your ear or something?

Oh.  OH, wait.  They have a Command Station.  Is Rose communicating with her remotely via that, and Terezi is just Dave-like vocalizing everything Rose punches into the terminal?  Then that would be Terezi arguing with HER out loud.  And the sudden transition of talk to “I’ve established that this is why they move.” is very Rose-sounding.

> ==>

That lil’ “hup” pose to jump over the gap Terezi’s making is adorable.  Also, those are bad failed experiments y’all have created and you should feel bad, Rose and Dirk.  (Rose is definitely to blame for this spider-bunny nightmare.)

TEREZI: HUP!

Hup

TEREZI: 1 WOND3R WH4T TH3Y T4ST3 L1K3 >:O

They look like they’d taste like bee spiders with inedible stuffing throughout.

Trolls do find grubs of most sorts appetizing though.

> ==>

TEREZI THOSE ARE NO REASON TO BE HAPPY

> ==>

Yeah, beautiful field-shot aside I feel pretty bad for that creation.  Looks miserable.

> ==>

Now they’re just mashing up consorts.  Are they TRYING to populate the planet with weird garbage for the final products to eat?  (Or fight? Hard-troll-childhood style?)

> ==>

THAT THING IS NO REASON TO LOOK SO HAPPY EITHER REZI

Gosh, at least she’s having fun though.

> ==>

You’re ignoring Onionsan, Terezi

> ==>

I wonder what lazy name this Horsisaur has.

Fun abandoned. Survival instincts fully engaged. Terezi runs.

She throws backward sniffs over her shoulder as she tears through the scrubby cling of the planet’s undergrowth, catching fractured impressions of exactly what has decided to chase her. A shuddering, 20 foot monstrosity that somehow seems to both scamper and glide, like a centipede, rustling like foliage as it moves, as if an entire goddamn forest is bearing down on her.

Between the game and Alternia, you shouldn’t be TOO rusty at this, right?

The problem with using smells to navigate the world is that the unfamiliar can be difficult to parse. Every whiff over her shoulder gives her another blurry glimpse of what this beast is.

Yeah, smell is a little slower on the pickup than sight.

Rose shared her books with Terezi when she was on the ship, and her favorite by far was the compendium of the zoologically dubious. Everything contained inside was just so unbelievably unlikely. This creature appears to be a combination of all of them.

Really? What we see of it doesn’t look THAT weird.  But we only see about half of it from this angle, so.

--Twisted ankle?  Come on, you’re not THAT rusty.

> ==>

It’s fear, pure and simple. Unsurprising, when being menaced by a monster, but it also doesn’t last for more than a second. A cold flame that instantly burns itself out, and all of a sudden she is just deeply, impossibly, indescribably tired. Down to her bones.

You’re already giving up??!?

Honestly, she really has no right to feel this... this fatigue. This crushing embrace of endless struggle. Terezi Pyrope has not had an easy life by anyone’s standards, but so much of her thirteen or so sweeps has just been standing still. Waiting. Huddling blind and half dead in her recuperacoon, the sopor burning the hideous mess that the sun has left her eyes, alight with a hatred so layered and intense that she couldn’t make sense of it.

Dammit, do we have to go SO EXHAUSTINGLY DEEPLY into EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER’S PTSD?!??

It was horrifying--that pain or fury--but also, admittedly, very boring. Then there were the sweeps on the meteor, the endless, gelatinous stretches of time in the chaos of the outer ring, searching for... Vriska, ostensibly, but also maybe just for a chance to dry up. To disappear. Go extinct.

Terezi doesn’t know if it’s an attribute of her aspect, or the sheer psychic damage of spending so long in the company of two humans with god complexes. Maybe it’s just an inherited symptom of being conscious. But sometimes it feels like none of them are going to get out of this, alive or dead.

Fuck, apparently we are.  These writers don’t know how to let up.  Can’t we get a little more retroactive dwelling on how FUN some of their lives up til now were?  And then... maybe NOT only do that to contrast with how depressed they are now??  There was SO much delight in Homestuck amidst the hardship, and if you’re going to show us more of the hardship you have to show us more of the delight, too, or everything just gets pointlessly dark.

--ah, Rose redirected the command console to point to the monster and stopped it that way.

ROSE: I am devastated to report that those are really more vines than tentacles, and even worse, they aren’t mine.

Pff.

...Poking fun at the terminology for Patron Trolls, at this late date of all times.

TEREZI: D4V3 4ND 1 H4D 4 LOT 1N COMMON B4CK TH3N, OR 4T L34ST 1T F3LT L1K3 W3 D1D ROSE: As I have come to understand it, for a while at least, we were all being steered in the right direction by a debatably benevolent force. ROSE: One imposed on us by the game itself, even if we had yet to enter it. TEREZI: ... ROSE: You don’t believe me. TEREZI: NO, 1 DO TEREZI: 1T SOUNDS 1NCR3D1BLY DUMB AND UNL1K3LY BUT SO DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3 TH4T H4PP3NS TO 4NY OF US

Terezi, don’t you know at least half as much about Skaia as anyone else here? Isn’t that what she’s talking about?

TEREZI: SO YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 S4M3 TH1NGS TO TH3S3 CR34TUR3S TH4T SOM3 OTH3R CR34TUR3S D1D TO YOU 4ND YOUR FR13NDS ROSE: I suppose that is a fair assessment. Although we were not our own creators. It was John who— DIRK: I hate to break up the recap episode, but we need to deal with this situation before it gets out of hand.

Wait, she’s talking about the Exiles?  Terezi TOLD Dave about the exiles helping them.  SHE was the one who told us how that worked!  Although I guess you could chalk her questions up to her not knowing one of those “terminals” was involved.

TEREZI: 4ND HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3 4NYW4Y? DIRK: I have administrative privileges. TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4DM1N1STR4T1V3 PR1V1L3G3S TO MY P4LMHUSK DIRK: Yes.

Was Terezi dictating to her palmhusk earlier?  Why was she talking for Rose’s part of the conversation earlier, but not now?  Was that a mistake?  Or did Rose switch off the terminal, despite her apparent confusion with the terminal now???

Opinion of HS^2... dropping... keep it together stop judging the comic so hard... NOT dropping off in quality... shh brain! Shoosh!!!

(Seriously though, don’t put ANY asks in my inbox about HS^2 dropping off in quality, even as much as I’M starting to complain.  Gotta keep my hopes up to keep enjoying myself as I keep going.)

ROSE: Don’t let it get to you. My father has a habit of appearing in places he’s not wanted.

You’re seriously just CALLING him that now?!??

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives.

Ah, that’s why you used the terminology.

DIRK: I was saying that we should get Terezi down from there before continuing our mining of the core themes in our personal narratives. ROSE: Of course. I’ll take care of it. DIRK: Appreciate it. TEREZI: 1 W1SH YOU WOULDN’T DO TH4T WH3R3 1 C4N S33 1T DIRK: Do what? TEREZI: TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU G3T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 NOT M3 TO DO WH4T3V3R 1T 1S YOU W4NT TH3M TO TEREZI: M1ND CONTROL

Oh, damn.  That was a creepy order, then.  And is Rose STILL not wise to it?  Can Terezi and Dirk just TALK about the narrative control IN FRONT OF ROSE and have her not recognize it because of said control??? :C

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON DIRK: You can make more boots. TEREZI: 1M NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 BOOTS, NOOKBR34TH TEREZI: 1 MEAN TH3 M3N4G3R13 FROM H3LL DIRK: Well, we’ve encountered a couple bumps along the road. TEREZI: YOU DONT S4Y

This is fun, but I can’t help but notice that Rose has completely stopped talking.  Fuck having Dirk flaunt this even harder just ups the creepiness even more.

TEREZI: YOU GUYS R34LLY SUCK 4T TH1S DIRK: Yeah, agreed. TEREZI: ... TEREZI: WOW, TH4T W4S MUCH L3SS P41NFUL 4ND LONG-W1ND3D TH4N 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG 1T TO B3 DIRK: What was? TEREZI: CONV1NC1NG YOU TH4T 4LL OF TH3S3 "D3S1GNS" TH4T YOU H4V3 COM3 UP W1TH SUCK SH1T TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD T3LL M3 TH4T 4LL OF 1T 1S P4RT OF SOM3 "GR4ND PL4N" TEREZI: TH4T TH3Y SUCK ON PURPOS3 OR SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T DIRK: Well, it is a part of the grand plan. And they do suck on purpose. DIRK: But not on my purpose. DIRK: It’s Rose. She is remarkably bad at this. Voluntarily. TEREZI: DO YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S TRY1NG TO S4BOT4G3 4LL OF YOUR GR4ND CR34T1ONS TEREZI: OH POW3RFUL GOD PR1NC3? DIRK: No, she’s playing the game. That part hasn’t been a problem. DIRK: I mean she is just making incredibly nonsensical decisions and refusing to back down, even when I up the ante to preposterous levels. DIRK: You should see some of the shit she’s come up with. I’m pretty sure I watched a vagina on legs walk by this morning. TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 S4W TH4T ON3 DIRK: Despite her initial resistance, Rose has gone completely feral. TEREZI: YOU M34N TH4T SH3 1S H4V1NG FUN DIRK: Yes.

You loosened her morals so she’d be conscience-free to go full zoological playground, and she’s GOING full zoological playground.  What did you expect?

TEREZI: 4ND WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH 4 L1TTL3 B1T OF FUN YOUR H1GHN3SS? DIRK: Nothing. I got absolutely no problem with having a good time while we see to the boring and altogether completely frivolous task of seeding the future of this planet. DIRK: But she really TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT3D H3R TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO HOLD YOU B4CK, 1NST34D OF TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND DIRK: No, that's not it. TEREZI: YES, 1 TH1NK 1T 1S 1T

What?  “Holding her back”?  How did this suddenly become about Dirk’s insecurity at his ectobiological skill?

DIRK: By project, do you mean that I expect Rose to be too much like myself? TEREZI: NO, 1 M34N TH3 OPPOS1T3 TEREZI: YOU 3XP3CT H3R TO B3 B3TT3R TH4N YOU TEREZI: YOU W4NT H3R TO PR3V3NT 4LL OF YOUR WORST T3ND3NC13S. TH3 W4Y 1 US3D TO W1TH VR1SK4 WH3N W3 W3R3 MO1R41LS

--Oh, you meant hold them back from going TOO FAR.  I see.  And also, the way Terezi and Vriska were “moirails” is the WORST example, and thus quite fitting to relate to this situation.  For their brief pale stint, Terezi never really STOPPED Vriska from doing ANYTHING. She just supported Vriska, while Vriska spewed some flattery Terezi’s way... and then proceeded to do whatever the fuck she wanted. Sometimes without telling her.  It was an AWFUL example of proper moirallegiance, as I covered in the above link.

Dirk wouldn’t know about that, though.  And neither does Terezi, apparently, unless she’s just not admitting it.

(EDIT: Also, Rose never had the slightest chance of ever holding Dirk back like she might have wanted because DIRK MIND CONTROL OVERRIDES HER EVERY TIME SHE HAS RESERVATIONS. The only way a moirallegiance can work at all is if the one being held back is WILLING to listen. Dirk has deliberately and continuously suppressed Rose's ability to even THINK about dissuading him from literally any course of action.)

TEREZI: YOUR3 3XP3CT1NG ROS3 TO C4TCH YOU WH3N YOU GO TOO F4R TEREZI: SH3 1SNT GO1NG TO DO TH4T, 1 DONT TH1NK TEREZI: 1N F4CT, 1 TH1NK SH3 1S MOR3 L1K3LY TO GO TOO F4R TH4N YOU 4R3 DIRK: What makes you say that? TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW TEREZI: JUST 4 F33L1NG, 1 GU3SS. 1 M1GHT NOT B3 4 GOD-MODD3D DORK 1N COSPL4Y, BUT 1M ST1LL A S33R TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4VE SP3NT W4Y MOR3 T1M3 W1TH TH3 TWO OF YOU TH4N 4LMOST 4NYON3 ELSE, WH1CH 1S 1NCR3D1BLY D3PR3SS1NG TO TH1NK 4BOUT

Guh.  A real pair of villains.  Is that REALLY why you brought Rose, Dirk?

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, 1F YOU DONT L1K3 TH3 W4Y ROS3 1S DO1NG TH1NGS WHY DONT YOU JUST NOT-M1ND CONTROL H3R 1NTO DO1NG 1T TH3 R1GHT W4Y TEREZI: PROBL3M SOLV3D DIRK: I’ve made the decision to freehand this one. I’m not planning to influence Rose’s decision in any part of the contest. Otherwise it’s too easy, and barely worth doing at all.

Obviously.  And you can’t argue her down the normal way because she was NEVER someone to listen to someone like you in a direct confrontation without any misleading subterfuge.  You would’ve had to Doc Scratch it.

DIRK: So you’re saying you want me to mind-control Rose. TEREZI: NO, 1M S4Y1NG TH4T 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 4 COW4RD TEREZI: P3RH4PS 1 W1LL T3LL H3R TH4T YOU H4V3 B33N WH1SP3R1NG YOUR STR4NG3 L1TTL3 1NC4NT4T1ONS 1N H3R 34R OV3R TH3 L4ST F3W SW33PS TEREZI: L1K3 4 CR33PY W31RDO DIRK: No, you won’t. If you were going to, you would have already.

Are you talking about the narrative mind control or are you talking about something else?  Something weirder?  Because calling them “strange little incantations” sounds like he’s been doing some creepily Doc-Scratchy grooming to her like how Doc kinda rage-controlled the trolls to write his genetic code on their walls in their most vulnerable moments.

DIRK: Unless you think I’m still projecting my "image" of what I think Rose "should" do, and she actually won’t give a shit. TEREZI: NO, 1 TH1NK SH3 W1LL B3 CONFL1CT3D TEREZI: UNL3SS YOU M1ND-CONTROL H3R NOT TO B3 DIRK: Not mind control. TEREZI: WH4T3VER!

And that’s just it.  Rose WOULD have been very conflicted about MUCH of this if you hadn’t used your narrative control to override all her inhibitions.  So instead you get the version of her who would have gone with your plans without hesitation, which is the WORST version of her.  And she doesn’t even have a choice to be better.

Alright, that’s the end of the upd8.  See y’all!  Maybe a bit after the commentary goes up for this (already has for the Influencers bonus) I’ll cover the commentary on both this and the bonus, but that’ll be in at least a few days.  Ciao

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac. 

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo 

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps. 

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1. 

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes. 

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal. 

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge. 

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

[whalefairyfandom12]

Your Love's a Fucking Drag (But I Need it So Bad)

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different.

A/N: We've been writing this fic for over a year now and it's strange to think this is the last time we'll be doing this. Thank you so much for all of your support and we hope you enjoy the final chapter <33

Masterpost

Chapter Nine

 *picks up after “true bros swallow” from chapter seven

-

don’t judge me makila

I’m 110% judging right now smh no homo just bromo

I came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Not as attacked as Dan’s cock amiright

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELy

...That's what he said and then Phil made him

My mind is literally blank rn jfc i have absolutely no comebacks whatsoever

On a scale of one to Dan’s mind during orgasm from a brojob how blank?

Like dan’s mind during orgasm and then some

Yet somehow Phil Lester’s lips aren't involved. I think he got the better deal, really. Also cuddles after

Im jealous of dan i want phil lester’s cuddles :<

I swear to god we sound so ace right now 100 to 0 real fast

*writes sex scene* “Wow i cant wait to cuddle the fuck out of phil” 100% ace

Seriously though Phil probably gives some of the best cuddles imaginable I'm jealous

My friend met him and she said he gives the best hugs out of anyone she’s ever met

You know what fuck Phan I'm stealing Phil for myself

“Hi do u have any philxreader fics” dats u

“I don't want the yang wang dang just the hugging”

Im fucking pissing myself im hilarious

I think my mom just heard that snort

Im literally laughing so hard and my dogs started barking bc of it christ i need sleep

Jesus Christ has very little to do with this conversation, trust me ;)))))))))))))

I hope he isn’t too mad that i started involving him in our crimes

We’re all going to hell anyway, what's one more crime really

Imagine if jesus went to hell with us JESUS READS TOO MUCH GAY PORN

“So what was your punishment?”

“I liked sucking cocks too”

“Same. Only bros?”

“True bros swallowed. Dat was me.”

Jeezy wheezy (sry i cant type wow) thats amazing and i had something to say but i dont REMEMBER

They say losing your memory this early means you're definitely screwed and damned to hell

I mean we already knew i was going to hell so whats the difference

I've spent my evening reading gay porn stars AU instead of studying that ship has sailed

Porn star aus are the best thing ever no ragerts

“Ragerts”-Rachel, 2016

The sin has clouded your thoughts

Im gonna get that tattooed on me “no ragerts”

You can say not only were you extremely drunk when you got it you were also drunk when you thought it up. A win win

“How did you get that tattoo??” “Well im always drunk man”

“Drunk on gay smut and memes”

I read too much about bros swallowing loads

You need to fire your autocorrect and get a better one

Im on my computer so looks like i just have to fire my brain

Our wordcount has upped significantly can we just keep this here. “Now presenting a short intermission from your writers”

Oh my god when we upload the last chapter (whenever the fuck that will be jesus christ what are we doing with this story) we should post this

Imagine the day when our inboxes will no longer be filled with messages of “WHEN THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YLAFD GOING TO BE UP??????”

That’s the day that the earth will truly implode

See the real question is who’s going to store all these screenshots on their camera roll? Forfeit those sick GBs

I can screenshot them on my computer hahaha

Way to ruin the moment Rachel wooooooow :(((((((( That was so low not even Dan could recover (get it because he’s a bottom? I'm so tired smh)

Sorry bro (*insert lenny face here bc im too lazy to do that*) i hope dans proud of me

He knows it's just about bros doing bro things I'm sure he’d fully endorse our fics. (And let’s be honest, I'll bet you one hundred dollars this hasn't happened to him at least once)

Oh him and phil have d e f i n i t el I GIVE UP fucked

Which will come out first? Dan Howell or Sherlock’s next season? YO MAMA’S SO FAT BY THE TIME SHE TURNS AROUND DAN HOWELL CAME OUT!!!!!1!

JESUS CHriST “How many licks does it take for dan howell to come out?” “The world may never know”

Oh he’ll be coming all right *insert lenny face*

HE’LL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES

╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…..╚(███)╝……╚(██)╝………(█)……….*

WHAT THE FUCK MAKILA NO the human centipede lol

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ POOP

Ur enjoying urself aren’t u

FIGHT ME (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง (what? I don't have an entire wall of lenny’s saved to my notes for this very purpose that would be ridiculous haha ha ha ha…)

Usually when i use a lenny face i go back and copy it from one of my friend’s text messages so ALL THE JUDGEMENT HERE UR FIRED

AT LEAST LENNY STILL LOVES ME 
( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ᕤ holy shit we broke 14k yay us #rakilaftwrioolymipcs2k16

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) we literally broke 14k because we wrote an entire essay about how much of a meme we are (why is this a different color text wtf)

All better. The perfectionist in me is satisfied.

Im proud of you makkypoo

BU-BUT SENPAIIIIIIII REALLY????? JU-JUST ME???????

JUST U MACKLEMORE (i think im so funny)

Macklemore I'm dying (right and Phil’s dating Dan. Oh wait)

I think your nickname is no longer makila but instead macklemore

Once we release these screenshots it will be THANKS RACHEL UR FIRED NOW

BUT ): A KOUHAI CANT HIRE THEIR SENPAIIIIIIII (also i hope you start getting messages about macklemore now)

WOW I FEEL SO LOVED :,(((((((((( a single man tear

A man tear… like uh i dont have a fucking comeback im So TIRED LIKE UR MUMS MAN TEAR

THE NERVE!!!!!!!!!1!1! WELL YOUR MUM’S MAN TEAR IS SO UNMANLY NOT EVEN DAN WOULD THINK IT WAS ATTRACTIVE SO THERE BITE ME

Cuz we all know dan thinks every man tear is attractive rip to dan’s heart (and his sexuality)

“Here lies Dan’s heterosexuality and heteronormativity. It will be sorely--screw it no it won't.”

Dan’s heterosexuality&heteronormativity,,, June 10, 1991 - Today (what is today) August 20, 2016

“We gather to celebrate with smut and Lenny human centipedes.” I need sleep so badly right now smh I'm dead tomorrow

GO TO SLEEP (honestly i do too i have to wake up early to move back to uni rip)

I will if you do. A bro pact. (A broct? Pacbro?)

Just… stop right there LOL lets form a broct(?) and just brosleep it out

I hope Phil brohugs you bro

Thanks bro i hope phil brocuddles u my dude, my bro

Aw you mean it bro? U r always there for me, man, I luv u u r like a brother to me, bro

Bro… oh my god bro, that’s the broest thing anyones ever said to me… i love u bro.. Like bromantically

Not as much as I platonically 110% heterosexually love u bro. Just bromo tho no homo

That’s the new phrase of this fic “just bromo, no homo”

*deletes summary and changes it to that* seriously why aren't we sleeping GO TO BED RAKILA

OKAY IM GONNA ACTUALLY SLEEP NOW CUZ WE NEED IT

NIGHT BRO DON’T LET THE FIREFLIES BITE MAN

NIGHT TO U TOO BROKILA DONT LET TO BRO BUGS BITE