#honestly rewatching rise has made me realize how far from the tree most of everyone is

[purplepixel]

Donnie internally relieved that he tricked an entire fandom into thinking that he is in fact an unemotional bad boy

i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter four

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pairings: levi ackerman x reader / eren jaeger x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2574

You sat next to Jean at lunch, picking at your soup. He was retelling the story of the fight with Eren for the second time that day, each iteration with growing exaggeration of how badly he kicked Eren's ass. You weren't really listening, though. You were mostly rewatching the events of last night in your mind, like you had been since you went to bed after leaving the stables.

Every few minutes, you would feel the tingle of eyes on you across the room. Eren was glancing up at you, either to smile, mock your expression, or just to hold your eyes for a brief moment. You would barely turn up the corners of your mouth in reply, knowing your face gave away the blushing mess you really were. You replayed your own personal highlight reel in your head yet again: the sparkle in his eyes as he pressed your foreheads together; his hair tickling your cheek as he nestled his face into your shoulder; the steam rising from his back when your fingernails raked against it.

"Are you listening?" Connie asked, breaking you from your trance. You wracked your brain trying to remember what they were discussing before Eren sent you to a distracted paradise.

"Yeah, Jean kicked Eren's ass. He already told us," you tried, your eyes falling when Connie looked at you with disappointment.

"No, I was asking you how yesterday went," he said, meeting your eyes expectantly.

You looked away quickly. "Yesterday? What do you mean?" How could they already know? They would never stop making fun of you for as long as you lived. Jean was probably going to cut your head off.

"With Captain Levi?" Connie reminded you, staring at you like you had gone nuts. "Are you all there today?"

You internally sighed with relief. "Not really, honestly. I was up half the night with the horses. Levi put me on stable duty for two weeks," you answered, quickly seeing that your friends were looking at you for more. "He tried to have me clean all the superior's suites, but when I went to clean his, he said I was being disrespectful and dismissed me before I even started," you snorted, seeing the look in Levi's eyes again as you told them what happened.

"What did you say to him to make him so angry?" Ymir asked, but Eren had begun to distract you again.

"I don't even remember, honestly," you replied, your eyes floating away to meet the green ones a few tables over.

---

ODM training was one of your least favorite things about the Survey Corps. It was like Commander Erwin ignored that it was practically half of your cadet training. It had never been hard for you; doing it so repetitively made you absolutely sick of it. Levi was leading training, perched on a branch to better see everyone. Every time you glanced at him, you wanted to barf. He, on the other hand, was paying no attention to you.

You sliced through another practice pad on a stupid wooden "titan." Sure, the fake titans were cool the first time, but once you had actually been face to face with one, it was nothing but funny. Still, you used it for an outlet for your anger. The only ones in front of you were Mikasa and Reiner, the three of you hardly leaving any practice pads for those behind you. You tried to push Levi's infuriating words and Eren's inviting glances from your mind and throw yourself wholly into the exercise. For whatever stupid reason, you wanted to show Levi that you were one of the best. Perhaps it was spite.

You landed on the ground at the end of the training course, taking a seat and getting some water as you, Mikasa, and Reiner waited for your remaining comrades. Bertholdt landed soon after you, followed by Eren. You looked down at your canteen, trying your best not to look at Eren as he presumably went to stand with Mikasa. He no longer made ignoring him an option, however, when he sat next to you and opened his canteen.

"Eren," you said, looking up to meet his eyes, "I don't feel like becoming Mikasa's punching bag today." You weren't looking at her, but you knew she was looking at you.

"She's harmless, don't worry. I was just wondering if you'd be at the stables again tonight." He took a long gulp of water and looked back at you.

"I'll be at the stables every night for two weeks, thanks to Levi," you said, a frown pulling at the corners of your mouth.

"It hasn't been much of a punishment so far, has it?" he asked smugly, his proud smile pulling a laugh out of you. "I'll meet you there again tonight. Don't try to kill me again?"

"No promises." Your smile faded as Jean landed. Eren spotted him too.

"I'll see you then," he told you quietly, brushing his hand over yours inconspicuously as he got up. He walked towards a glaring Mikasa with a grin, her eyes softening as he got closer. You realized that you felt bad for her; it was a shame Eren didn't feel the same way. Your musing about Mikasa was interrupted as Jean broke the short silence.

"What did he say to you?" he asked you curiously, taking the seat Eren had been in only moments before.

You quickly thought of a lie and answered, "He was supposed to be on stable duty this week. We ran into each other last night, so I sent him back to the dorms. He was asking if I was on stables the rest of the week or if he needed to come back tonight."

Jean nodded and drank from his canteen, leaning back on one hand. "I was wondering today when we would get to visit home again. It's getting kind of boring, staying here and training all the time, don't you think?"

You thought about that for a few moments. You didn't have a home anymore, or even a family. It must have slipped Jean's mind. If the Scouts were allowed leave, you would likely be staying with him, or just staying there. "I bet you miss your mom," you finally decided to say, avoiding the question altogether. You saw a look of realization on his face, and appreciated when he decided to ignore it.

"Yeah, sometimes. I mostly just miss waking up in my own room. Being surrounded by people at all times gets suffocating, you know? It seems like the good people are getting fewer and far between." You saw the frown on his face, and knew he was likely thinking about Marco.

You nudged his shoulder with yours. "I'm not going anywhere, big guy. As much as you might want me to." He looked down at you, grinning. He already knew that.

---

When you made it to the stables, Eren was already sat in the pile of hay the two of you laid in the night before. He greeted you and patted the spot next to him, motioning for you to sit down. The two of you talked meaninglessly for a while, tender touches and chaste kisses sprinkled in between words. After a while, he asked you to tell him about yourself.

"There isn't much to tell," you said, thinking.

"Well, where are you from? What's your family like?" he asked you innocently, his fingers tracing your knuckles.

"I don't like to talk about that stuff. After Wall Maria, I was the only one left in my family. Even Jean doesn't know where I'm from, or even my mom's name. I guess it's easier to pretend it never existed." You clenched your hand into a fist under Eren's fingers, clearly uncomfortable. You looked away from him.

"Let's skip that then. What's your favorite color?"

You laughed, relaxing. "I like green. Like grass and trees." You started to get embarrassed as you realized it was also the color of his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Mine is probably blue. Like the ocean."

"What's your happiest memory?" you asked him. The two of you went back and forth like that for what seemed like hours, pausing between to change how you were sitting, or laying, or just stopping to stare at each other for a few moments.

After some minutes of silence following your last answer, you laid on his chest with your eyes closed, listening to him breathe. Finally, he said, "My mom's name was Carla. She died at Wall Maria, too."

You were quiet for a few moments, then you said, "Did you see it happen?"

"Yeah." His chest grew tense. You were sure that if you looked up you would see the beginnings of tears pricking his eyes.

"You're like me, then." You ran your fingers across his ribs, trailing circles on his stomach. His arm grew tighter around you. You looked up at him slowly, meeting his bright green eyes that cut through the intense darkness outside. He removed his hand from where it rested on your stomach to cradle the back of your head, wrapping your hair in his fingers and pulling you closer to him. He kissed you, softly at first, but with growing passion as the kiss went on. His lips tasted sweet like watermelon, the salt from his skin being the perfect complement. He pulled you on top of him so that you were straddling him, letting his hands run down your back and up again, this time under your shirt. His hands were soft. He healed too quickly for the rough callouses that covered most of the Scouts' hands.

Your own hands were placed gently on either of his cheeks as he explored your body, soft fingertips tracing your spine, collarbones, breasts, stomach, and hipbones. Your breathing hitched as his lips moved to your neck, your fingers traveling to tangle themselves in his hair. You threw your head back and let a soft moan escape your lips. Without breaking his lips' hold on your neck, he gently flipped you so that you laid on the hay under him. He kissed down your collar bones, pausing for just a moment to lift your shirt over your head. When you tugged at the hem of his, he reached back and pulled it off in a single motion.

You loved the feeling of his skin on yours as he continued his path with his mouth, from your shoulder, to your clavicle, to your left breast. His lips attached to your nipple, suckling gently and letting his teeth graze it every once in a while. Your back arched, his name escaping your mouth almost silently. He kissed down your stomach and finally made it to the waistband of your pants, looking up at you with wide eyes and swollen lips. When you nodded, he unbuttoned them slowly, sliding them down your legs and placing them gently on the hay.

He placed methodical kisses on your inner thighs as you spread your legs, trailing upwards with each lick and bite. It felt like tiny shocks of electricity each time his warm mouth took your cold skin between his teeth. When his tongue finally landed on you, you were in ecstasy. You felt it shoot upwards through your body as he gently toyed with your clit, sucking softly as your hands found his hair. You kept trying to pull him closer, your hips rolling slightly to meet the intense pleasure at the source.

He moved his tongue against you for what you wished was forever, pressure swelling inside your core. His fingers slid into you with ease, your opening completely slick. He worked at your spot relentlessly, his long fingers twisting and bending to make your experience as pleasurable as possible. After a while, he gently pulled away, causing you to whine at the loss of sensation. Everything building up inside of you seemed to fade almost completely as he rose back up level with your eyes. His mouth was wet from you, glistening in the warm light of the lantern. Still, you leaned up and kissed him with as much as you could muster, your tongues falling recklessly in each others mouths as he used one arm to prop himself and the other to unbuckle his belt shakily. You reached down and finished the job quickly, yanking the buckle apart and sliding his pants down his hips.

You took him in one of your hands, stroking him softly has you continued to kiss him passionately. You bent your knees to allow him better access as you positioned him at your entrance. He took your other hand into his, placing it next to your head and interlocking your fingers tightly as he pushed into you slowly, whimpering quietly as he buried himself completely in you.

"Eren," you gasped, shocked at your sudden fullness like you hadn't been reliving it since last night. He nestled his face into your shoulder as he started to move back and forth, leaving chaste bites on your collar bone. He smelled like vanilla and sweat. It was currently your favorite scent in the world -- he was intoxicating like this; his body surrounded you in the most comforting, gentle way. Sex with him was a side you had never seen before; he was usually so grandiose and angry, but when he was intimate like this he was anything but. He was caring and gentle. He was a giver. He whimpered and moaned where you would expect grunts and groans. He would whisper your name over and over into your ear, like he was doing then. Your body would tingle with each time he said it, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

He took his head from your shoulder and his hand from yours, pressing his lips against yours with pure desire. He hooked his arms under your knees, pulling you upwards. He created an angle that left you breathless as he thrusted into your spot relentlessly. Your fingernails found his back, leaving long scratches down either spot as steam rose and healed it almost immediately. He stifled your intense moans with his own mouth as he slipped his tongue between your teeth. He moved his lips to your neck yet again, letting your moans free as he let his own slip out. "Are you close?" he asked you, looking into your eyes for the first time since you had begun.

"Yes," you told him breathlessly, causing him to speed up and continue his assault on the most sensitive parts of your neck. All of the pressure building inside of you exploded in a second, sending volts of electricity through your whole body and his name out of your mouth with a string of expletives as you came, pulsing around him in ecstasy as his strokes became sloppy and out of rhythm. He kissed you as he pulled out of you quickly, releasing himself onto your stomach with a moan that sent vibrations across your lips.

When you managed to pull yourselves apart, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "I came prepared this time, love," he told you blissfully, wiping you clean. He threw the cloth to the side and slid his arms around you tightly, holding your head to his chest as you both caught your breath.

Stable duty wasn't half bad, after all.