#honestly my gameplay review alone is 'great world that they did too little with' and i think that goes for everything else about it as well

[tommytranselo]

I noticed what you were saying about how you wished mafia 2 was as good as your obsession with it made it seem and I must say that I felt the same! I played Mafia DE and loved everything about it- the character’s cannon complexities, the mission’s cannon complexities, the real and personable emotions, etc. and then I played Mafia 2 and so much was left unsaid/unanswered, that the whole game just felt repressive and I had to squint between the lines to feel like I knew the characters :/ (1/2)

when i posted that i mostly meant in terms of gameplay (as in, i'd love to replay but most of the missions are annoying) but honestly, mafia 2 really took a while to grow on me–i started it only a few days after finishing DE and at first i was seriously disappointed; it just didn't capture the same magic for me as MDE had, i couldn't get into the characters (then again i went in with somewhat of a grudge against them), i didn't enjoy a lot of the missions and i felt like i had no time to experience the world. around the end of chapter 11 i had to put it down for a while (didn't have access to the computer i was playing it on), and after letting it marinate for a while, so to speak, i'd gotten more into it, and then, well–to quote a meme, "i do not control the hyperfixation." (i had a very similar experience with tarantino's reservoir dogs, funnily enough) personally, the characters and relationships felt just similar enough to the kinds of characters i write in my personal projects that they really stuck with me, but i think a lot of it's probably the echo chamber effect of tumblr. in total we've got, say...fifteen, twenty people (and usually less than that talking loads about it) all closely analyzing the game and extrapolating things and repeating them to each other. a lot of the talk about, say, eddie and carlo's relationship, or henry's dead wife bettina, or luca–that's the product of major extrapolation or borderline making shit up. add that to a fairly short game, and it's easy to remember a lot of the details and make something of it.

the description of it being repressive and having to squint between the lines, and a lot being unsaid/unanswered is very accurate imo–they cut a lot of content before release, and you can tell, 'cause it's left this distinct feeling of the game being rushed and unfinished, and of the lore barely holding together. quite frankly, i think a handful of fans on here have done a hell of a lot of squinting between the lines and answering things ourselves, and it might be because there's so much room to do so that we've ended up with this kind of a fanbase. there's just enough there to latch onto that a lot of people (myself included) seem determined to mine out the game's untapped potential. i've definitely noticed the other games don't seem to attract the same level of wild speculation and like...fixation over very very specific details.  i saw someone once describe the show supernatural as having had very little of its potential untapped by the actual creators but a lot of potential untapped by the fans, and i feel like mafia 2 is much the same.

despite mafia 2 (for some reason?) largely being the face of the series now, i've heard when it first came out it was widely hated by diehard fans of the original mafia: tcolh, and while i've never played the og, i can see why. i guess it really does just grow on you. like a fungus.

[hilltopsunset]

I Regret Buying Pokémon Shield

I told myself I wouldn’t do it. I’ve seen time and again the lack of innovation from main-series Pokémon games, and I insisted nothing would convince me to buy this latest atrocity. Yet here I am, reviewing the game I said I’d never purchase. I should have listened to myself. I KNEW BETTER! Strap in, ‘cause this one’s pretty long.

Pokémon has been around for a long time—like, a long, long time—and I’ve been around for every single new main-series game that’s been released since the franchise’s first arrival in North America back in 1996 with Red/Blue. I was not yet 10 years old, and I still remember the childlike excitement of finding rare, never-before seen creatures, the stress of trying to catch a wily Abra or elusive Pinsir, and the challenging first encounter with the Elite Four and the Champion, a 5-man gauntlet of trainers with powerful Pokémon rarely (if ever) seen in the game prior to that moment. It was exhilarating in a way that keeps me coming back for more, hoping to rekindle those same flames of wonder. 

While the main gist of the games hasn’t changed much over the years, one of my favorite parts of playing a new Pokémon game is seeing the improvements each game brings to the series. Many of the initial sequels made huge leaps in progress: Gold/Silver introduced a plethora of new mechanics like held items and breeding; Ruby/Sapphire introduced passive abilities and was the first to include multi-battles in the form of double-battles; Diamond/Pearl was the first generation capable of trading and battling online and brought us the revolutionary physical/special split so elements were no longer locked into one or the other. These changes all had significant impacts on how players approached battles, formed their teams, and used each Pokémon.

Those changes, combined with the addition of new Pokémon to catch, regions to explore, and enemies to fight, were enough to keep me interested. But I know I wasn’t alone in imagining all the possibilities of taking the franchise off the handheld platforms and moving the main series games over to a more powerful home console. In the meantime, each generation that followed Gen IV highlighted a new, troubling pattern that became more and more prevalent with each addition to the series.

1.       Gen V: Lack of meaningful gameplay innovation

By Generation V with Black/White, not only was Game Freak quickly running out of colors, they were quite obviously running out of ideas for significant gameplay innovation. The bulk of Black/White’s biggest changes were improvements on or adaptations to existing staples to the franchise: many new Pokémon, moves, and abilities were added, and the DS platform allowed for greater graphical quality where Pokémon could move around a bit more on-screen during battles, the camera wasn’t as rigid as it had to be in previous games due to machine limitations; perhaps most importantly, they FINALLY decided to make TMs infinite. Thank goodness. While the updates were nice, they were nowhere near as impactful on the game as previous generations’ changes were and served more as needed quality of life adjustments.

I would also argue Gen V also had the least inspired Pokémon designs (like Vanillux and Klinklang) with the worst starter choices of any Pokémon game, but that’s a discussion for another time. Excadrill and Volcarona were pretty cool, though.

 2.       Gen VI: Gimmicks as the main draw

Pokémon X/Y (See? They ran out of colors) continued this new downward trend in innovation. Mega-evolution—while admittedly pretty cool—wasn’t enough to carry the new generation into an era of meaningful improvement because it was equivalent to adding new Pokémon rather than developing innovative gameplay, ushering in a new era of gimmicks in lieu of substantial updates.

Though the gameplay innovation for X/Y was minimal, the graphic updates were substantial: Pokémon X/Y was the first generation to introduce the main series to a fully 3-dimensional world populated by 3D characters. However, since X/Y was on the 3DS, it was a ripe target for the 3D gimmick seen in almost all games on the console, which I personally used for all of 5 minutes before feeling nauseous and never using the function again.

Despite the fresh look of the new 3D models, the battle animations were, to be frank, incredibly disappointing. Pokémon still barely moved and never physically interacted with opponents, nor did they use moves in uniquely appropriate ways. To my point, for years now there’s been a meme about Blastoise opting to shoot water out of his face rather than his cannons. I was sad to see that they didn’t take the time to give each Pokémon’s animations a little more love. But I figured, in time, when or if the franchise ever moved to a more powerful machine, they would be better equipped to make it happen, right? I also convinced myself that the lack of refined animations were kind of charming, harkening back to the games’ original (terrible) animations.

 3.       Gen VII: Focus on Minigames

The main innovation (gimmick) that came with Generation VII, Sun/Moon, was the lack of HMs in lieu of riding certain Pokémon. Sun/Moon also added Ultra Beasts (essentially just new Pokémon) and Z-moves (just new moves) which only added to the number of gimmicks present in the games. These changes, which provide some mild adaptations to gameplay from previous generations, don’t fundamentally change the way players go through each game, the way that updates in the earlier generations did. I personally played through the entirety of Sun/Moon without using a single Z-move or seeing a single Ultra Beast outside the one you’re required to fight to progress the main story. Ultimately, these changes were not a significant enough experience to warrant an entirely new game that is otherwise full of more of the same stuff with slightly different creatures who have slightly different stats and occupy a slightly different world.

Though Sun/Moon was comfortably embracing the franchise’s affinity for gimmicks, it brought to the forefront yet another troubling trend: mini games. Between photography, the Festival Plaza, and Poké Pelago, the focus on and attention to detail toward mini games had grown considerably over the years. Pokémon games have always had minigames and other time-sinks—which is great! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate having more to do than trudge through the main story. But it is apparent that, with each new generation, more time seems dedicated to development of these extras. Pokémon Contests, Secret Bases, Super Training, feeding/grooming; a lot of their larger innovations after Gen IV were centered on non-essential parts of the game, which results in diminished game and story quality overall.

Admittedly, Sun/Moon did have some of the best exploration moments of any of the Pokémon games, which I did very much appreciate. More on that later as it relates to Sword/Shield…

 4.       Generation VIII: You Can’t Be Serious

When Game Freak finally announced they were launching Generation VIII, Sword and Shield, on the Switch rather than a dedicated handheld console, I was beside myself with excitement.

And then I saw gameplay footage like this, and my heart sank.

What is the purpose of launching the game on a stronger console if they are going to continue copy/pasting their sprites and their animations? If they aren’t going to provide the Pokémon any unique flair or create more appropriate animations? It was disappointing enough seeing the same animations/models from X/Y for Sun/Moon, but that was sort of expected since the games were on the same console. But now that the game has moved to the Switch, this is unacceptable.

When I learned that they were significantly cutting the number of Pokémon available in the game, I thought for certain that would translate to more time dedicated to the ones that made the cut, to focus on adding animations and character to the critters to make them feel like real parts of the world, rather than avatars of a child’s imagination, unable to fully process how the world functions. Alas, what was I thinking?

I thought the Dynamax gimmick would be one of my biggest gripes because it’s so pointless, or maybe the Wild Area’s severe lack of organic belonging (all Pokémon are just wandering aimlessly, weather can change drastically after crossing an invisible line, trees look like they were cut and pasted out of Mario 64, you can’t even catch Pokémon if they’re too high a level) but honestly the most disappointing part of the game for me was the pitiful routes between towns/gyms. Previous installments of the game included routes full of trainers and puzzles you needed to defeat or solve before you could progress—in Sword/Shield, the only thing that ever prevents you from progressing are some Team Yell grunts barricading paths the game doesn’t want you to take yet, for literally no reason. It completely removes player autonomy and a sense of accomplishment earned through overcoming challenges—now instead of learning that you need to find an item that allows you to cut through certain trees to gain access to new areas, you simply follow the story beats and then, upon returning, the path will be open. It’s inorganic, it’s clunky, and it’s extremely lazy.

Speaking of lazy, the story itself was another massive disappointment for me. Pokémon games are not particularly known for having deep stories, but Sword/Shield takes it to a new low. Every NPC simply pushes you to battle in gyms, and every interesting story beat that occurs happens just outside the player-character’s reach. Any time something interesting happens, you are shooed away and told to let the grown-ups handle it while you just get your gym badges. There COULD have been some interesting story moments where your character gets more involved with helping fix the havoc occurring around the Galar Region, but instead we as the player are simply TOLD what happened, why it happened, and who fixed it (usually the champion, Leon).

I honestly think having the game focus on the story of Sonia, Bede, Marnie, or even Hop (was not a fan of this kid) would have been a much more interesting game, because those characters actually had some depth to them, some bigger reason for taking on the gym challenges than simply “I want to be the very best.” Albeit those stories would have required a tremendous amount of work to add depth and details, the potential for a better story is in those characters. There is just no story at all to the main character, who is ushered from gym to gym because…because? Because that’s what kids do? I’m not even really sure what the motivation is.

There are SO MANY exciting, interesting, innovative ways Game Freak could drive Pokémon into a new and exciting direction while still maintaining its charm and building on existing mechanics, but they instead choose to demonstrate their lack of interest in significant graphical and gameplay innovation. I imagine this is largely because the masses will eat up just about any Pokémon product produced so long as there’s a new bunny to catch, and Pikachu is still involved. I’m disappointed, and I wish the Galar region could meet the expectations of my 10-year old mind’s imagination.

When abilities were added, we suddenly had to consider whether our Earthquake could even hit the enemy Weezing and adapt to the tremendous changes the passive skills added, reconsidering how we faced each battle. When the physical/special split occurred, entirely new opportunities opened up and certain Pokémon who were banished to obscurity due to their poor typing and stat distribution, like Weavile, were suddenly viable. Some even became incredibly powerful, like Gyarados, who had been hit pretty hard by the Special attack/defense split. There were also already-powerful Pokémon (Gengar, Dragon-types) who became even more so through access to STAB moves that benefited off their strongest stats.

I want new games to include updates that feel as impactful as these changes. If you’re interested in how Game Freak can improve on the main gameplay, I have some fun ideas that will be fleshed out in another article: How to Breathe New Life into the Pokémon Franchise. That article will be dedicated to explaining what those changes are, why I want them, and how they can improve future games.

[modmamono]

Why Space Channel 5 is one of SEGA’s best dumbest games ever, no questions asked. (Report 1 & 1/2.)

Space Channel 5 on the Dreamcast is one of my favorite things ever, let alone favorite video games. Though I more often watch it on YouTube then actually play it.

For those not in the know, Space Channel 5 is a game series developed by United Game Artists and published by parent company SEGA. And that’s the most Wikipedia quoting I’m gonna do in this gush piece.

There aren’t many games quite like this rhythmic, Simon says game. At least in style because this game has that in spades, the gameplay anyone can do. And I am not at all qualified to explain its style because I wouldn’t how to describe it as besides maybe very 70s?

Point is there’s something charming about this game, and I think SEGA agrees with me on that. The lead character, Ulala (seen above), appear in these games to name a few years after new Space Channel 5 games stopped being made after 2002:

2004: Sega Superstars

2006: Sonic Riders

2008: Sega Superstars Tennis and Samba de Amigo

2010: Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing 

2012: Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed and Project X Zone

2015: Project X Zone 2

And not to mention the invading aliens have been skins of the titular Puyo Puyo in that series for a while I can’t determine. Possibly since at most 2007 up until current day with Puyo Puyo Champions in 2018/2019.

ALSO not to mention the VR game that came out recently! (How could I forget that? That’s the main reason I’m doing this.)

So it is clear SEGA loves this game and it’s sequel a lot. I don’t think their most beloved cult classic NiGHTS: Into Dreams gets that much love from the company though it certainly does get a lot itself, most games wish their parents still loved them that much long after they had a game. Anyway...

Now the part where I actually talk about the game.

I wanna say, first and foremost. This is not a review of the game. This is just gushing about why this game makes me happy.

And everything I’m gushing about is just what you get from the from one playthrough of the game. Save for one exception, I will not be talking about supplementary material, nor Space Channel 5′s lore.

And yes, this colorful dancing/rhythm/simon says game has lore. Basically any non-repeated character model has their own biograph. So I will not go into that.

You’re not missing too much, there are interesting tidbits, sometimes they fill you in on background details of the story.

Speaking of the story. I’ll start in a second. But if this is new to you, you can watch it here first (The first playthrough is only half the video):

Prologue:

We start off with a bunch of alien sitting on a space couch watching space TV. These aliens are known as the Morolians and they’ll be the main antagonists for the evening.

This cutscene has no dialogue, so this is all open to interpretation for a first time viewer. Though I do enjoy this split second foreshadowing:

And that’s when the title screen appears. Blasting you with the series’ main theme Mexican Flyer. Look it up if you must. You’ll be hearing it a lot, it’s the game and Ulala’s leitmotif.

Report 1: This is terrorism attack on an airport... I’m gonna ignore that.

This is the only piece of supplemental material I’ll talk about, as it’s present in the game itself, but not elaborated on, and it is important to two of the character.

The game starts in a flashback. In the year AD 2489 a spaceship exploded. Everybody on board died safe for a little girl.

She was rescued by a man working for Space Channel 5. A news organization that with a specific focus on dancing. That last bit is nothing special though, as everything in this galaxy revolves around dancing.

After the little girl is saved by this kindly Channel 5 Gent (Age 25) she knew what she wanted to be after she grew up. She wanted to be a sexy dancing reporter for Space Channel 5 just like him (presumably). And to meet him so she can thank him in person.

10 years later......

It is AD 2499! And the Morolians attack a space airport and their ray beams hypnotize people to dance silly.

THE HORROR!

And that’s when Space Channel 5 sends in Ulala to report on the progress.

But what they’re actually doing is for Ulala to solve the problem instead of the Space authorities.

One character I do wanna mention now is that Ulala’s producer, Fuse, is an unseen character yet is important later. He’s the one briefing Ulala in the screenshot above. And oversees Ulala’s every move.

Also Ulala never got to meet her rescuer. He either left shortly after Ulala got rescued, or shortly before Ulala joined. Given what we learn later, likely the former.

Anyway onto the show:

BAM!

BAM!!

BAM!!!

I will always love that. Ulala got down on the ground in the panicking space air port to coolly report on the panic.

As quick aside, I wanna mention that Ulala doesn’t run in this game, she slowly struts and all of her struts are simply majestic. And those amazing struts lead her to the first gameplay section of this game.

Some Morolians hold a few hypnotized people hostage. This is is a dance battle. Meaning you got repeat exactly what the aliens do in the exact rhythm they did it in order to save the hostages. And I love this gameplay. It’s simple yet fun (provided you got minimal lag, you should look into that if you wanna play this game).

The controls are:

Up: Up

Down: Down

Left: Left

Right: Right/Light

Button 1: Chu (Aliens)

Button 2: Chu (Humans)

And this is how normal people settle things in this world apparently:

Party 1 (usually the Aliens) make up a tough but fair pattern for Ulala to copy in the hopes of psyching her out.

Party 2 (Ulala & Co.) gets as many chances ad she got. And the better she does more people tune into her news report. If she wins she gets what she wants. Saving the hostage and getting Party 1 out of her hair.

Every single one lives by this code of honor and I honestly have no clue if there’s an in-universe reason. But I love it regardless. I love it when people say: Up Down Chu Chu Chu. And the Ulala repeating it.

Though frankly, I don’t like it when the Morolians issue the commands. I like it when others do the exact same commands in this same game, so it’s a little bit of a bummer the Morolians do it.

Anyways. You save the hostages and they join in on Ulala’s unstoppable strut as will always happen if you rescue people. And they strut to the second gameplay type: The Shoot-out.

The controls are the same as the above but now you gotta watch out for humans in the mix.

In general these are trickier. And I might go into that later. But they do work on the same rules.

Don’t worry I won’t go over every dance or shoot-out unless there’s something special about it.

Also I’m pretty sure you kill people if you push the wrong Chu. Don’t do that, it’s bad for the ratings!

Skipping over three battles.Something new happens, rival space news station: Space(?) Channel 42 has a reporter of their own out on the field. And that reporter is planning to steal Channel 5′s viewership. And this is HER!

You do a dance battle and she dies.

Though seriously, I like this game does this. It’s not only aliens you fight, but other factions of the Space News Media. And it’s always a nice shake up when someone besides her shows up.

You see, for the most part any reoccurring enemy has recognizable mannerisms you gotta batlle, and her is no different. It’s hard to describe for me. You kinda gotta play or watch the game for yourself to see what I mean, but I think it’s best exemplified in Report 2. And the following games.

Though one thing’s for sure, each non-normal Morolians or rival reported does bring their own genre switch with them. Heck sometimes even normal battles have unique genres. I’m am not musically inclined so I wouldn’t know hers or most others. 

Any way, before she dies she give an emotional speech and gracefully suggests to take her Channel 42 guitarist with her and Ulala accepts that’s the least she could do for a lousy reporter like her.

And then it’s boss time!

Yeah, actual bosses with actual boss characters. And not like the recently deceased as shown above. She’s practically for all intents and purposes another Morolian dance battle.

And it’s down to funky jazz music, not unlike what you’d see in Sonic Adventure! Even Ulala comments on it, confirming it’s dietetic  Where does it come from? Not sure, there might be an explanation somewhere. But do keep that in mind. That the music we hear is also the music the characters hear as well.

Anyways:

Not Pictured: Super Stretchy Arms.

I think it’s a bit of a misnomer. Invader is correct, that’s what it’s here for. But is it really a robot? It moves like an organics and is a bit rubbery. This basically goes for all Morolian robots.

I can suspend my disbelief. You shouldn’t nitpick too much about Space Channel 5, it doesn’t want you to think too hard about it’s world even if there’s a lot to it. I’d be concerned if Space Channel 5 did wanna put its story and world building first and foremost.

But “Hypnotized Robot Invader”?

What?

Spoiler.

Robots and hypnotism... I’m pretty sure a sign that we made perfect human-like Artificial Intelligence if they can fall susceptible to Hypnosis. Even then I doubt it.

Sorry, that’s always bothered me, I get what they mean by it. It’s just the word choice... Did they mean Hypnotizing Robot Invader? This boss is great.

It starts off with a normal dance battle, but you get to watch a new Morolian enemy’s moves. It’s also quicker on the draw along with a few softballs to throw your timing off. Pretty good stuff.

And that applies to the next phase as well, where the the shooting starts.

I don’t have much to say.

Unlike the robot’s final phase where it’s the first phase again, but with guns and the robot goes to berserking speeds with the input commands.

And after you beat it, it joins you in a strut.

As does everyone you saved, No matter the gender, nor age, nobody is embarrassed imitating Ulala no matter what she does. We’ll be half as lucky to get a cool future as cool as 2499.

And with that the first report is over.

Report 2: (Age 35)

At the Morolian HQ (Presumably), their boss doesn’t like failure.

But like a good boss he doesn’t dwell on failure and moves on to the next plan. One of his lackeys has this plan: Another boss battle dance robot who operates on:

The everyone at the table is impressed. So I guess Ulala is screwed, game over.

This level is more of the same as the last one more or less, it’s possibly the most boring level in the series in that regard. It’s not bad, this is just the game bulding enough a status quo before they change things up in Report 3.

But that doesn’t make this level any less interesting to talk about, so I won’t go over it much.

The short story until something new happens is: Space Ship (think of it as a fancy yacht but in space) is being attack by Morolians, Ulala is send to report on it, and being the professional she is saves hostages as well.

She saves the captain, crew members, stewardesses, waitresses, the Space Diva (OH NO! NOT THE SPACE DIVA!), passages and the like.

UNTIL!

He voice says “I’m gonna steal you show, Space Channel 5”. And you see this ship flying by:

Another rival reporter, this one a pirate broadcasting station.

Side note: That’s sounds like the most important kind of pirate ever. Alternative news/non-mainstream with no money/rating motive blinding everything with journalistic integrity? Yes, by all means. If they’re pirates then so are Secular Talk & The Humanist Report.

Back to the silly dance game. The Pirates either jam or hack Channel 5′s signal and the Ulala is stuck with them for a while.

And then we meet that where we meet the gent above.

“[His] name is:“

“JAGUAAAAARRRR!!!” “JAGUAAAAARRRR!!!“

(Age 35)

LET’S DANCE!

Dude, I love Jaguar (Age 35) he’s gotta be my second favorite character in the series on account he’s just cool and incapable of embarrassment.

Remember the deceased of the last report? The Channel 42 reporter in the blue dress? He’s her counterpart for this chapter.

But whereas the deceased’s gimmick sounded air headed for a lack of a better term. Maybe, girly? Point is, battling her didn’t feel too dissimilar to battling Morolians despite her rhytmic mannerisms.

Jaguar (Age 35)’s gimmick is that he just adds. He starts with a simple Up. And then he adds a Chu, and another Chu. Eventually it becomes a really long chain of commands, it has to be some of the longest in the series. And you have to do them all from start to finish because he does them all sequentially. Can you repeat?:

Up. Chu. ChuChu. Right. Left. Down. DownDown. Down. Chu. Chu. Chu.

He is easing you into it, but it is by no means an easy fight. Because after the chain is at its longest, he just spamming ChuChuChu in quick succession. And then a simple Chu.

After defeat Jaguar & Co, escape by jet-pack, saying they will meet later.

This battle is a highlight for me. Coco Tapioco and the big bosses to come are better if you ask me (with exceptions). But Jaguar (Age 35) is some of the best the normal gameplay goes.

And you could argue what normal means in the context of Space Channel 5. But effectively, like Channel 42′s deceased, functionally he might as well be another Morolian if he wasn’t there to be set up for later. Because you do get person that just joins your Strut Club like everywhere else.

You gain his Jazz Man and you get a great sax solo as a reward beating him. Like how you got Channel 42′s guitarist for beating them. I like the think the Jazz Man can work for Jaguar (Age 35) again while the Channel 42 Guitarist is blacklisted.

And before we move on from Jaguar (Age 35) check out his Chu pose:

BOSS TIME!

Jaguar (Age 35): The alien mothership is retreating. Don’t you have to follow them, Channel 5? Fuse: Blast you, Jaguar [Age 35].

With the pirates giving chase, Ulala is left with the cowardly alien robot to elegant music.

Ignoring the robot’s title, while silly, its cowardice is its greatest asset. For it has kidnapped some space schoolkids, making their space teacher worry. Their space teacher can actually be seen at the start of the report.

Space fashion, am I right?

I’ve exceeded Tumblr’s invisible limit of what to put in a blog post. I’ll have to rewrite this boss what I have to say for this boss. So full, can’t spell check! We’ll be back!

[morshtalon]

Dragon Quest II

Well, it's been a while since I wrote a review on something. I've played a number of games in the meantime, but none of them really gave me anything I felt was worth talking about or that hasn't been talked about before, so I just keep them in the backburner of my mind for possible future reference.

However, I feel like current circumstances make for a good time to dig up one of the games I wanted to share my thoughts on for a long time, and that I had beaten before even writing the first review I've ever "published". That game is Dragon Quest II.

Part of the reason why I held off on it for so long is that I don't think my review of the first game is all that great, and another part is that, again, I don't feel like I've bunched up enough good stuff to say, even though I really wanted to talk about it ever since I played it.

But hey, by far and wide my post popular post is technically related to Dragon Quest II, so why not cut to the chase and do it, right?

Anyway, to say that the first game took off in popularity is an understatement, it being the seminal harbinger of an entire genre of gaming that would soon take the world by storm. You would think that means this would be the time-old tale of "runaway success game making company executives pressure developers into slaving away at a sequel with suffocating deadlines". However, planning for DQII apparently began before DQI was released. 1986 was a different time, I guess. A time when the industry was fledgling enough that it wasn't that much more than a group of dudes banding together to bring an idea to life, and then - not a moment of hesitation after that idea comes to fruition - immediately start brainstorming ways in which they can build on it to give birth to new, more complex explorations of the concepts they had just tackled.

I believe this is why it's good to go back and play these games in their original versions, in chronological release order. Nowadays, it's virtually impossible to innovate. Back then, almost every big-time franchise was always finding ways to breathe fresh air into the structure of their games. Though Dragon Quest isn't the most innovative when compared to the likes of Final Fantasy, they were still making great strides into the codification of the type of game they had pioneered. With that knowledge in mind, one can really appreciate the evolution by going back and exploring these things as they grew with the times. And hey, Final Fantasy still wasn't around by the time DQII came out, so once again, they had to rely on ideas from western RPGs they liked.

In my opinion, II is the first jRPG that actually feels good to play, if you can put yourself into the mindset of an 80's gamer. The designers felt the 1v1 battles of the first title were boring - a sentiment which I share - and put in different groups of enemies as well as extra party members for you to find. One thing that some of these old RPGs that only let you target a group of enemies does is drawing only one enemy sprite on-screen to represent the entire group. Surprisingly, this game does not do that, even though it predates all the ones that do. It draws every enemy on-screen, which doesn't seem like much nowadays, but it's very appreciated nonetheless. Sure, it came at the cost of battle backgrounds (all fights in this game are set against pure blackness), but they did the right thing. The party itself follows what would become a typical archetype of 3-person groups: One character who is a jack-of-all-stats, balanced between physical prowess and magic, one who is focused on physical combat (in this game, this character actually has no magic capabilities whatsoever), and one who is a pure mage. Perhaps surprisingly, because these structures hadn't become tropes yet, the main character is the physical one, and he's also pretty much the most reliable party member by a reasonable margin, even though all he can do is attack normally. Balance issues aside (we'll talk about that later), I honestly sort of dig this arrangement. It's a little bit of a breath of fresh air to see the main character in an RPG rely completely on his weapons, and in the future, in any DQ title that has a reasonable degree of character customization, I always try to make the protagonist a physical powerhouse, to match the one from this game. It hardly ever works, but hey, it just goes for show that I enjoyed it while playing. Given that the other party members join you as you progress through the game at specific points, that also means the complexity of magic spells is added to your arsenal slowly, getting you used to it without feeling overwhelming. Sure, the game is simple enough that it wouldn't be overwhelming regardless of how they had set up the pacing, but I never felt like any of the times I struggled were because of insufficient knowledge of the game mechanics. So, the battles are fun enough, and they feel just right in terms of complexity vs. focus. The strategies to win are simple - really, the whole game is very simple - but it does its job well, and it allowed the developers to have near-perfect control of the game's difficulty curve. As a result, it is also - almost up to the end of the game - pretty nice, even if the whole thing is on the challenging end of things. At the end, it gets... A little special. We'll get to that later.

Let's take a step back and look at the gameplay outside battles. First of all, the story is... sparse, to say the least. Not as much as the one in the first game, and supplemented in the international version by a frankly kick-ass introduction that gives the experience a certain tone and atmosphere I appreciate a lot, but still, it's 1987. jRPGs were... not so much about the story back then, if you can believe that. In fact, they were more like an extension of a point-and-click adventure game. DQII is, essentially, a big fetch quest. In a different story, one that has enough plot points that you can sense a type of underlying narrative progression, I would not enjoy having the game interrupted by a blatant collectathon. However, the fetch quest aspect is basically the soul of this entire game. The extremely loose story paves the way for an experience that boils down to pure exploration and combat, with light elements of puzzle-solving woven in, using the fetch quest premise simply as a background to leave the developers with fertile soil to plant their little tricks and enigmas without worrying too much about how it would all connect rationally. And here, we witness an aspect of old games that could only spring about as a byproduct of limited graphics, ill-defined representations of the setting's reality, and a healthy disregard for common sense, things that were the style at the time. The puzzles, and sometimes just the exploration, violate logic quite heavily. Traversing through a monster-infested castle to get to a point that is technically outside the castle, but you can't just walk around it because most of the outside grass tiles are exit tiles that warp you back to the world map? Sure, why not? Having dedicated "teleport-room" maps that only serve the explicit purpose of housing a teleporter to another part of the world, except for one which also houses a chest with an essential item if you walk along the right border of the map, but not the identical-looking left one? Mario 2 hid a goal post inside a secret too, so yeah! Throw that in! Stairs down in a brick islet surrounded by water which brings you to a room that's... Also at water level? We hardly have enough tiles to go around, let alone a set to represent underwater or underground rooms, so whatever! Nobody cares! And, honestly, I truly don't care, either. If a game is up to, let's say, willfully forgo a bit of logic in order to formulate a creative puzzle to play around with your expectations, then all the more power to it. I honestly feel like puzzles nowadays are too sectioned-off, contained within a single room in a single dungeon, ready for the player to walk in, solve it, move on to the next point in the flowchart and never think about it twice. When puzzles are woven in so closely with the world, requiring the player to think outside the box at all times, as they're out there exploring, it makes the whole game feel like it's working together to make a point, and helps reduce that feeling one gets when playing RPGs where there are very separate elements of gameplay that... Don't really connect to each other very well. Sure, you're blatantly aware you're playing a videogame at all times, and it's not super great for immersion, but this was a time when there just... wasn't enough memory for immersion. It was a constraint that naturally gave way to challenges that capitalized on its own limitations, and therefore, created a type of immersion of its own, where the player is completely sucked into their own thoughts, holding a notebook with a rough sketch of the world map in their hand (yeah, I might have done that), taking notes and thinking where in the world could that last crest possibly be?! I think DQII hit that sweet spot of looseness vs. clarity in the narrative that helped these wild, nonsensical elements flourish. I really don't know how other people react to this sort of thing, but I don't care. I had a good time with it, and soon after this game, everything RPG started to become more focused on story. That's definitely not a bad thing, but I felt a kind of clear, developer-to-player kind of communication from these small bits of wrongness that made me more aware of the time, effort and creativity put into it by the people who were making it. I realized that, were I in the shoes of the dude who was making all this crazy stuff, I'd be stoked to see my friends trying to solve them. I'm not trying to be sentimental, that's how I honestly felt while playing that part with the teleporter and the chest. In any case, I appreciated it.

Then you get to the road to Rhone.

Though, apparently, the game was not pressured into deadlines by higher-ups, I did read something about one of the guys in the team offhandedly setting a deadline that turned out to be just that little bit too tight, requiring it to be delayed from November 1986 to January 1987. This, along with the fact that, at the time, the second title in a franchise had the habit of being designed for people who were hardcore fans of the first game in that series, might go a little ways into explaining why everything starting from the road to Rhone is absolutely fucking brutal. Every element of the game that, previously, was a tad questionable, leaving that little itch of worry in the back of your head, returns here with the express intent to make your life miserable. I have a high tolerance for difficulty, one that is even higher for RPGs where, for the most part, there are always ways to slightly circumvent it and make your life easier. The simplicity of design in DQII means that this is not the case here, and from this point on you're expected to not only have the skill and familiarity you've accrued while playing, but also a very healthy amount of luck to go with you, otherwise you will die. And rest assured, you WILL die. In fact, due to the specific way in which the player's mortality rate skyrockets in Rhone, it's almost not even a matter of the game being "hard" in the traditional sense, because it doesn't exactly require you to be strong enough or smart enough anymore, it just requires you to be patient enough to slowly trudge through the mountain of corpses of your former attempts until you figure out how to minimize your risks to the lowest degree they possibly can be minimized, then hitting that sweet spot of luck and control that finally allows you to reach the end of the game. This particular way of handling things means that, after you hit about level 30 with the main character, further leveling will only render you negligibly less likely to die, and the effects are not strong enough from level to level to even be clearly noticed. But what exactly makes it so hard? The answer is primarily RNG. When you reach the end, you will begin to notice just how much RNG there is through the whole game. Starting off, the turn order is entirely random. There is an agility stat, but I never found any evidence of it actually factoring into who goes first in battle (instead, it's a carryover from DQI that calculates your base defense). If there are more than three enemies, you're at a disadvantage, but even if there aren't, a stray run of bad luck - which is guaranteed to happen given the density of random encounters - means you're gonna have to scramble with enemy attacks, and they are perfectly capable of leaving you in such a state that it would take a miracle to put yourself back in shape, if they don't just wipe you out instantly. Now, remember, two of your three characters have magic. However, at this point in the game, enemies have a large amount of magic resistance to all kinds of different spells, and magic resistance in this game means that there is a chance the spell simply won't work. If it does, it deals full damage. If it doesn't, it deals none at all. I don't know about you, but I almost never take my chances with low-accuracy, gimmicky stuff in other games. This one renders all spells like that given enough time. If you decide to rely on physical strength, the main character is the only one who will bring you any significant results. The pure mage at this point in the game is far more efficient at support casting than direct damage, and the balanced character is - memetically, at this point - incompetent at both, and also sucks as a physical fighter, so once again, you're boned on that front. All of a sudden, running away becomes an alluring strategy. However, once again, there is an ever-prevalent random factor to it, so the pressure is on in all fronts. The game becomes a challenge of carefully planning out how to simply survive each encounter. Do you take the chance and run? If you fail, you'll be wailed on by the full force of the enemy party, and will likely be too weak to attempt mounting a resistance. Do you take the bait and unleash the full force of your attacks? What if they all target different enemies in the group? You won't deal enough damage to kill one of them, so you'll suffer heavy retaliation and waste precious MP that could be spent on healing spells. Did you win or escape successfully? You've only lost about 20% of your health, but some encounters can relieve you of the remaining 80% before you can even act, so do you spend MP healing or do you trudge on because you already don't have that many to go around? If you make the wrong decision at any of these break points - and rest assured, there won't be a shortage of them - you'll either die or get so close to death it will be almost irrelevant to keep going. And then, it's back to the last save point. Rinse and repeat many times until you clear the road and get to Rhone proper, for one final save point and one last, grueling stretch of game before the final boss. Here, the game introduces enemies that have, no joke, a move that kills your entire party and has 100% accuracy. Typing it out, it sounds like hyperbole, like i'm salty that I died so much and am exaggerating the things the game does in order to trick myself into believing that it was super impossible times infinity, but no, it's true. To be fair, there isn't a high chance the enemy will perform this move, but when they do, there's absolutely nothing you can do to save yourself. Just reset the game when the screen turns red. Other than that, the rest of the lovely cast of enemies rounding up the final waves are more than capable of just killing you the regular way, so keep your wits about you like you did back in the cave and grind yourself up until the stat bonuses start getting negligible, because now, you need to face five bosses in a row. Right, okay, technically you can go back and heal yourself right before the last one, but I didn't know that, so if you're an idiot like me, try to get ahold of a Wizard Ring, as well. It's the only way to heal MP, and can be used multiple times until - you guessed it - it randomly decides to break. After that, you just have to contend with two bosses that use a move that heals all their HP when it gets low, so you also have to roughly keep track of their state in your mind so you can unleash a full round of attack before they can get in that heal. Unless your spell doesn't hit them, of course. Or they happen to go first. Or you just barely miss the threshold of HP that will actually kill them. Oh, and be careful! One of the other bosses also knows the instant death move. He won't use it often, but 30 or so attempts in, you're likely to see it once or twice.

Then, the final boss can randomly spawn with a number of hit points between 75% and 100% of his assigned value (every enemy does that), and you're gonna deal an average of about 15% damage per turn to it. Sounds easy at first, but he will take you out in either one or two moves, and...

...Here's the motherload...

...He has a 1 in 16 chance of casting the full heal move at any point in the battle. And he WILL do that the first 2 or 3 times you get to him, sucking you dry of resources and smashing your face all the way back to the save point to try the 5 bosses again, so it's back to grinding attempts until you have another mostly hopeless shot at him.

But when you get him, man...

When you do it...

*sigh*

Anyway, this was a long, rambling, focus-shifting tangent just to correctly capture the degree of luck and randomness that constitutes the final stretch of Dragon Quest II. How does it impact the rest of the game? Well, I still appreciate it for what it did right, and there's a small, strange part of me that actually thinks the insane difficulty perfectly fits the stakes that the game set up, but it is, nevertheless, very hard. And once again, it's the kind of hard that is virtually impossible to circumvent. For any average, non-god-tier player, there is no alternate way of tackling the simple-looking, but highly controlled challenges in this game that trivializes it. You can't change your party, you can't buy extra spells, you can't really use stat-up items to change stat configurations in any significant way. You just have to keep trying and hope it works, and for the first few dozen times, it won't, so you'll just have to deal with it.

Still, it shows, even up to the end, that the DQ team has a certain grasp of consistency in design that will slowly grow and adapt as the series embraces new complexities through the years. DQII stands as somewhat of a black sheep in the series (as the second titles of old franchises often do), but I think it has its place, and it's surely a wild ride. Also, if you can get yourself into the mindset of late 80's design, I can assure you it won't ever be boring. Maddening, sure, but not boring. It's more fun in the midgame, in my opinion, as for someone who is very used to RPGs, it can be exceesingly simplistic at the start and too hopelessly uncontrollable at the end, but I feel it deserves a score of 7 out of 10. It's pure gameplay, and, for what it's worth, you WILL get an intense experience. Just be ready to shake, a lot. And pad your walls.

[skylights422]

Castlevania: Curse of Darkness Review

[Cross posted on pillowfort and dreamwidth]

A little while back I finally purchased Castlevania: Curse of Darkness. I had been wanting it for some time since it was another castlevania game on the PS2, and because I was very interested in the different playstle (various weapons, the innocent devils you summon and evolve to help you fight, the diverse landscapes), and I must say I wasn't disappointed! So let's go through and analyze it section by section. PLOT/CHARACTERS While the castlevania series tends to have simplistic plots, and in certain ways curse of darkness does as well, I found myself really enjoying the cutscenes for this one. The subplot with Saint Germaine and Zed gave an interesting air of mystery, and the main plot had characters that were charismatic enough to keep you invested despite the fact they don't really bother to explain much of anything in regards to backstory or lore. Plus, even with the lacking explanations it still felt like it had more going on than in LoI, which I appreciated. For those unfamiliar with the plot of the game, it follows a man named Hector who used to be one of Dracula's generals before betraying him once Dracula started killing humans indiscriminately. Hector was one of two 'Devil Forgemasters' in the world, humans who could summon creatures known as Innocent Devils to do their bidding. We're told they are also more easily swayed by Dracula's curse, and that it is considered dark magic, but that's all we ever learn about them. The other devil forgemaster, Isaac, remained loyal to Dracula and had Hector's wife killed in return for Hector betraying him. So the game starts out with Hector charging into an abandoned castle and demanding to fight Isaac to the death, even though at this point it is unclear if Hector has any weapons on hand and has not returned to devil forging. I gotta say, I really loved Hector as a protagonist. He was bold but courteous and had a righteous fury and determination that was a ton of fun. He also just had a very cool design, and I liked that he could use so many weapons (I think in nearly all the cutscenes he only fights hand to hand though, and I really love the mental image of him taking down Isaac with his beam sword and devils, Dracula, and Death with his bare fists xD)and he overall just worked as a lead character for this type of game. Isaac was a wonderfully over the top villain, and while none of it was elaborated on there was enough hinted at backstory/depth that he still felt interesting even if the main appeal was how deranged and sort of flamboyant he was. Isaac also apparently had a younger sister who looked exactly the same as Hector's dead wife, named Julia. Both of these facts are never explained (how did Hector never learn Isaac had a sister before? Why do the two totally unrelated women look identical? Who knows), but I really liked her as a character anyways. She was the shopkeeper of the game and the support character and she did all that with a lot of grace I thought. Oh right Trevor Blemont was there too. I'm sure he's great in Castlevania 3 when you play him, and I did enjoy his character in this game, but he was also very much a walking plot device. He was against you when the game wanted tension and supported you when the game needed you to use his Belmont magic, but then he sends you off to fight all the final bosses alone despite his entire reason for being there was to fight the final bosses and spent most of the game insisting he would beat them first. He was like a weird rival character who dropped out of the rivaling business for no apparent reason. I mean the reason was Gameplay, but a better in-story reason would have been appreciated. The end of the game was pretty decent, it wrapped everything up more or less, though I thought Hector deciding to move in with Julia in the middle of the mountains was a little weird. I love them as a brotp but I did not appreciate the romantic nod they were trying to include, she looks just like his dead wife for crying out loud! Overall though I thought the plot and characters for the game were Good and got the job done, so good job game. GAMEPLAY I LOVED the gameplay for Curse of Darkness. I liked getting to run around and fight the monsters, I liked leveling up my Innocent Devils and watching them learn new moves to help me destroy stuff, and the Chair Side Quest was the greatest thing the game gave to me. Honestly, it only added to my love of Hector, because you could interpret the whole thing as him having some kind of mind-room thingie where he collects chairs/benches/other things you can sit on (I laughed more than I should at some of them I'm not gonna lie). Like he just poses dramatically on all these chairs and its amazing. And the weapon crafting and combos were a lot of fun (he can apparently use the electric guitar very enthusiastically lol). The only downside to the gameplay was there was no sprinting feature (you do a lot of backtracking through confusingly designed areas, it got a little headache inducing at times), and I wished there was some kind of projectile weapon or something to make the fighting more varied than just the combos (which I admittedly took forever to discover) since you do so much excess fighting to level up in this game. But overall I really enjoyed the gameplay even with its flaws. The levels, I might add, while confusing and a bit ridiculous in layout at times, looked fantastic and all felt pleasantly different from each other, even the ones that were thematically similar. So if the maps had just been designed better the levels/areas would have been perfect. MUSIC/AESTHETIC The music was absolutely fantastic in this game! Castlevania usually has great soundtracks and this one is no exception. It was all very energetic and catchy and fit the mood of the game really well. Could have maybe had more stylistic variety, but that's a very minor complaint given how well composed all of it was. And i really liked how all of the levels looked! The graphics were pretty good, maybe not as shiny as LoI? But it captured the vibe of the game perfectly and still had some great visuals so it worked out. CONCLUSION To sum up, I really only have a few critiques of this game. Mostly it was an awesome experience to play, I had fun watching the cutscenes in both languages and seeing where the plot was going, and the chair side quest, as mentioned, gave me unparalleled joy. It was appropriately paced and about as long as it needed to be (unless it wanted to explain more, which would have been  nice, but also would have made it a much bigger game potentially). The maps were fun to go through when you hadn't explored much of it yet but eventually became a nightmare to maneuver, but the jamming music sort of made up for that. The characters really spoke to me despite all the unanswered questions about them. Actually its prime fanfic material, I may have to get on that sometime. But basically I would definitely recommend this game to anyone who likes popcorn gothic vampire slaying games (which is pretty much the Castlevania series in a nutshell, there's a reason I want to buy all games released during or before the PS2 era). 8.5/10

[gaming-rabbot]

Rabbot Reviews: Far Cry 5

Great taste, empty calories.

Far Cry 5 is the latest game in quite the lineage of a series known, as you might surmise, as Far Cry. Game number 6, actually, dependent on how canon you feel Primal was. FC as it stands now, though, is a bit of a… how to put it? A long call? A distant yell? An outlying wail? A remote shout? No, a far cry from the original two games, before Ubisoft bought the franchise.

(Yeah, that’s the phrase. Glad I thought of it, though I don’t know where I got it.)

((Incidentally, Remote Shout is the name of my new indie punk garage band. Album drops: never, because this is a joke.))

Starting after Far Cry 3, Ubisoft has been telling their dev teams to make lightning strike twice. Thus, each game hereafter has been an excited waiting game of seeing how they’ll try and ultimately fail to match the demented, yet incredibly charismatic villain that was Vaas.

And 5 feels like this illogical conclusion of just that. Because you have not one, not two, but four scenery-eating, rompy villains. Less a refined, precise attempt at the concept, and more of a blunderbuss approach; hoping to tickle a little of everyone’s villain fancy.

That, I feel, is the perfect metaphor for the game in general.

Last call to avoid spoilers.

Speaking of fitting descriptions of the entire game, let’s start with the intro. Because I have mixed feelings about it, at best. There’s a lot it does right, and some things it simply gets wrong, in regards to the rest of the narrative as a whole.

The pacing and atmosphere are phenomenal. The very air feels heavy around you as you enter into the church, here to take the titular Joseph Seed away from his flock. The pressure of the stakes are established flawlessly, leaving a feeling of palpitation, and a true understanding of just how dangerous Joseph is. Surprised as I was, the game even managed to shock me a little.

In that respect, it’s fantastic.

But then the game uses the cop crew you rolled in with as your motivation for the entire rest of the game, in the form of saving them from the Seed family, and oh god, it’s Fallout 4 all over again.

Just like the Bethesda example above, this aspect of the intro simply doesn’t work. And not just because it’s asking me to unconditionally care about cops.

This sequence of the narrative focuses on every other aspect of narrative setup except for the characters that you’re supposed to get invested in. You get but the most cursory taste of who they are as people. Such a small amount of time can mainly attach their personalities to a specific emotion.

Whitehorse is the calm voice of reason. Marshall Burke is frustrated. Pratt is nervous. And Hudson is… there too, I guess. Look, I’ll be honest, I had to look up half these people’s names for this review. Which I’m sure is only a good sign.

With so little to go on, I found I simply didn’t care whenever a cultist bigwig dangled one of them in front of me on a string, expecting me to bat like a good little kitten. Instead, I yawned and wandered off to play with the packaging the toy had come in.

Like a mischievous little kitten.

Which is such a shame, because there are so many other more interesting characters I actually did care about. And in the few scenes where the Seeds held them to ransom instead, the game suddenly had actual stakes.

Nick and Kim Rye were delightful every time they showed up. Virgil was so honestly sincere, I couldn’t help but like him; and his past, as it unfolded, was interesting to dive into. And Jerome was pretty much cool by default, and an excellent concept for a foil to the cultist bad guys, and everything they stood for.

But the story feels almost unconfident in its execution. Like the team is scared you’ll get bored. So the solution, write more story, or rather, several seemingly self-contained stories across the three separate regions.

With no overarching theme or plot threads besides “Joseph Seed probably gave the command for this at some point,” however, the connection feels loose at best. And this looseness makes the narrative feel all the weaker.

I’d much rather the story had been more focused and condensed. If they’d honed in on about one third as many characters, and if the villains felt a little less redundant, the overall narrative could’ve been much more refined and interesting.

Even the gameplay, while fun, has the same issue.

When traversing from place to place, you can’t drive for five minutes without a dozen random encounters passing you by, whether they travel by wheel or foot or paw. What should be a ten minute trek can sometimes take 30.

Again, it feels like the game is nervous. Like it’s worried that if I’m not firing a gun every two minutes, I’m losing interest. Look, I know this is the age of the internet, but my attention span hasn’t deteriorated that bad.

What were we talking about again?

But it’s sad though, as it detracts from what could be some very nice vistas and scenic routes. I can barely enjoy the quiet, introspective new addition of fishing without a randomly spawned cultist with an exaggerated country accent shouting “Fay-oond ‘eem!” and scaring away all the darn fish with a wild assault rifle volley.

Speaking of guns, let’s talk about politics. Something that could only ever be fun and only ever go over very well.

I don’t want to get too deep into this, as it’s been covered to death, and more eloquently than I’ll probably put it. For a better dive into the subject, I’d recommend watching Errant Signal’s “The Art of Saying Nothing.” To sum it up though, while at face value, FC5 might seem as though it’s about to lay down a scathing indictment of certain aspects of American culture, it really doesn’t.

Not for lack of bringing it up though.

The lady who owns Peaches the cougar, that is to say, the former owner of this sweet large kitten (no I’m not looking up the name this time; she’s not even a narrative footnote), is a prejudicial old woman who lives alone in the woods.

Immediately upon entering her domicile so I could acquire my new kitty and leave, she mentioned that my player character looked vaguely Italian, and made an off-color comment about not wanting her silver/jewels to go missing.

What is this, the turn of the century, last century?

At Hurk’s place, you can meet his dad, who wants to build a wall. What, no, not a wall down there. A wall in the north, to keep out those accursed Canadians and their liberal ideology.

Addressing controversy by obfuscating the real world equivalent is cute, but it lacks the punch that makes it such that it’s proving some kind of point. Here, it’s npc’s that you’re expected to stay on good terms with, so that you can get more quests and goodies, like a new pet or ride.

(Shame you never get a new pet who is also your new ride, though.)

And why? Because they’re supposedly better than the cultists who only physically hurt and impede people different than themselves? What’s the takeaway here supposed to be, that it’s only physical extremism that’s bad and--oh god wait no, it’s Bioshock Infinite all over again.

Of course, we all know the real reason why. To offend as few people as possible. Because every offended party is a potential lost sale. Hence why despite clearly using Christian/Baptist imagery and motifs, no cultist ever actually mentions Jesus by name, and the peggy symbol only vaguely and technically resembles that of a cross.

I’ve bad news for you, though, Ubisoft; it’s too late. If you wanted to offend as few people as possible, it was already over the instant you let writers set it in a rural, dominantly Christian, dominantly white community, in America. Right wing talking heads were lining up to be officially offended the instance promos started showing bad guys toting guns, bibles, and the American flag.

Because despite bragging about having thick skin, when it comes down to it, they typically don’t.

At some point, you almost want to lean in uncomfortably close to the game’s face and tell it “Go on. Say what you really mean.” And it never does. Making it satire with no teeth, which isn’t actually satire, but parody. It’s a flag-waving, gun-toting parody of American culture. It’s an American beer commercial meets Saint’s Row. It’s a romanticized outdoorsy rural locale with tacky looking guns and gruesome murder set to made-up gospel and old rock hits.

Which doesn’t feel that far off from a Saint’s Row game, but it wildly conflicts with the tone Far Cry 5 very quickly establishes for itself. And it’s such a waste, because to use an on-theme colloquialism, “bless its little heart.”

It’s trying so hard, and there are some things I can’t help but enjoy about it.

There was a moment early on, when I was creeping through the bushes of a small neighborhood as slowly and quietly as I could. I had not but a bow and a pistol to my name. Cultists were stacking dead bodies while their speaker-mounted truck played their very own choir, singing about water washing away sin. As they were finishing up, they began to sing along.

It was as First Blood meets Jim Jones as the entire game felt, and it all just clicked. The gameplay and tone all lined up so perfectly and felt so right. Where did that go?

Luckily, the game is also pretty charming in various other inadvertent or otherwise unintentional ways.

Obviously it’s cute and wholesome that you can pet all the non-hostile animals. But it’s completely adorable how Peaches growls at you when you go where she can’t follow.

There’s also random npc’s you can recruit for the game’s buddy system, aside from the nine named specialty partners. At first, I seriously wondered how any of them could compare to Peaches, the oversized mewling kitten, or Grace, the cool as a cucumber sniper lady.

But then I found some lady named Evie, who looked like somebody’s mom, and I honestly found it hard to part with her. There was something so ernest and amusing about the idea of somebody’s mom who used to embarrass them at every PTA meeting or bake sale, now in an awkwardly-fitting militia vest yelling “Get some!” to every other cultist who dared cross our path.

The gameplay is also varied enough with timed races, and puzzling treasure hunting segments. The latter in particular, I really enjoyed. They had me doing everything navigating mazes of fire to hopping and swinging along successive grapple lines under a bridge, skirting river water along the way. It’s good, varied fun.

I also really appreciate the organic way in which story beats are unlocked, which is really saying something for a sandbox. Normally, there are specific missions that unlock the next cutscene that actually matters, and everything else feels like so much filler and padding.

Far Cry 5 had the genius idea that everything should contribute to an overall progress bar. This makes it that nothing feels like padding, as you’ll always be working toward the next story beat, even if you’re doing what feel like side quests.

But it’s one step forth and one step back with you, isn’t it Far Cry 5?

Once you’ve unlocked the next story beat, you’ll be whisked away to the next cutscene to have one of the villains get in your face for the next five minutes, whether you were ready for that or not. It gets annoying after the second time, and downright numb the fifth or sixth.

It’s also where the writing starts to fall apart some more.

You know that old James Bond trope where the bad guy has him right where they want him? But then because the villain is so contrived in how they want to handle him, he ends up getting away? Well that happens almost every time. It’s cheesy.

Also where some of the worst writing in the game comes into play.

Jacob Seed has a neat gimmick, I’ll admit. He’s all about classic conditioning, A Clockwork Orange style. Alright, interesting enough. And instead of escaping, you wake up, presumably days later, having finally escaped his mind control. It was a neat twist at first.

What’s incredibly stupid though is everyone points it out. Dutch, Eli, all characters who know about Jacob’s MO, and none of them think anything suspicious about it. Nope, just “Hey, now that I can finally get in contact with you after an entire week of you not responding, come back and get uncomfortably close to me and people I care about.”

Nobody thinks anything’s up with that? Even after it happens three or four times?? And not even my own character thinks to warn them that I’m being psychologically manipulated to kill them???

Oh. Look at that. The game made me kill Eli. How very unsurprising. What is that, something like four hours of build up to a twist anyone could see coming if they’ve ever seen a story?

“Who cares, it’s fun, isn’t it?”

I mean, yes, sure. It’s very fun, in fact. Fewer things have been more satisfying than timing it just right to take down three baddies at once, with a sniper shot from Grace, a mauling from Peaches, and a throwing knife from myself.

And like I said before, the gameplay is just varied enough to not grow dull. But what should be a good game is held back by mediocre writing and a lack of commitment.

Weirder than any of it though is the troves of people lining up to say it doesn’t matter, because the game is fun. Listen, I can enjoy the gameplay for hours of mind-numbing fun, but still be able to pick apart everything wrong with the overall experience. There’s nothing really wrong with that. It doesn’t completely impede what enjoyment I, or anybody else, was able to get out of it.

I really don’t get this, though. This is no critique of the game itself, mind you, but it is at fault for bringing it up again, even if by accident. So it bears discussion.

Clean Prince was right when he said that Far Cry 5 brought up a lot of what’s wrong with modern gaming culture. Yet I can’t help but disagree with his reasoning behind this statement. Because he, like many, asked why any of it matters, so long as the game is fun.

Look.

Gamers clamored for years, demanding our hobby be taken seriously. Entire groups and brands like Extra Credits formed, to try and gain for games the same respect film and literature already had.

Nowadays, we have critics aplenty, like Super Bunny Hop, and the above-mentioned Errant Signal, who regularly dissect games with the same attention to detail movies, shows, and novels receive.

We did it. We’re here. We made it, right?

No.

People tear down bad writing in games, and suddenly it doesn’t matter. The game being fun is the only feature that matters, now that it’s convenient to dismiss anything that seemingly gets in the way of your enjoyment.

Even though it doesn’t.

If Far Cry 5 were a film, people would be trampling over each other to repeat the critics’ disregard of its milquetoast shotgun approach to writing, and lack of commitment to an actual point, despite advertising itself as any kind of satire.

It’s not like having an actual statement is foreign to Far Cry either. Far Cry 2 had a well implemented theme of deterioration in every aspect; your character’s health thanks to the malaria, the guns falling apart from being old, fire spreading wildly out of control.

It’s not even necessarily a Ubisoft problem either.

Far Cry 3 was all about the lengths you’d go to for the people you care about, and how growing and changing as a person ends up alienating you from them anyway. There was also an underlying theme about there being no real winners in a setting so deeply seeded with violence.

Ending sucks too. That’s not a good transition, but it’s as good of one as it deserves, to be frank.

It’s awful, but not because it’s unsatisfying and you don’t get to technically win. Not every game needs to end on a positive note, just because you work for it. Spec Ops: The Line had some of my favorite gut-punch endings in a game.

But the takeaway is just bad, for either ending.

Either you walk away from Joseph at the end, and Jacob’s conditioning kicks in again, and you kill everyone you just saved, or randomly and completely out of bumbling nowhere, several nuclear warheads go off around the tristate area. And everyone you just saved dies in irradiated fire anyway.

What’s the takeaway here? That we should just let dangerous people get away with violent uprisings, because hey, who knows, they may actually have been right all along?

The nuclear ending especially is just bad writing. It’s a twist out of left field meant to shock, and take you by surprise, but only because there’s nothing to indicate it’s going to happen. It’s trying, and failing, to ape the nuke scene from the first Modern Warfare game. But that scene was the dramatic release after an entire level’s worth of building tension regarding the bomb which was mentioned earlier. Of which said established tension, there’s simply none here.

Each region even caps off with you burning out the cult’s various bomb shelters. Only to find out, what? That you should’ve given up and let them kill and maim and steal all they like, so you could huddle down next to them in their bunkers? All because some uninformed zealot who doesn’t even sound like he’s actually looked at a bible lately made a lucky guess?

No thanks.

Instead of inspiring shock and awe, the ending feels random and nonsensical. Once again destroying any coherency the overall tone the game could’ve had. Is this supposed to be a fun, silly game to be enjoyed with a beer or a friend? 

Or a serious and somber game where you face the deepest human fear of all: how people manage to justify overt acts of pure evil as “the right thing?”

All in all, Far Cry 5 is like a cheap burger from a fast-food joint. The taste is fine and it’ll tide you over, but it’s probably not very good for you. And you can’t help but think about how much better it looks in the pictures on the menu.

[dentos-wife]

Alright I finished Ultra Moon! Game play was fun, the new totems were interesting I love the new outfits you can get (should have given us more darnit what are there two?!). And Ultra Space is fun probably the best thing about this game honestly.

But...anyone who knows me know I LOVED Moon, it actually has my favorite story in any Pokemon game as of late, a great cast and a wonderful plot. When USM was announced I had some concerns about how the plot would be handled. The only reason they had two games instead of one for their third game was because Nebby was two Pokemon they needed one for each. I was concerned due to Necrozma being the focus they’d kill the plot that made SM so good. Especially as when looking it prerelease material it seemed to be the same game with little touches here and there.  

If you enjoyed the original and want to play more go for it there are some differences you might enjoy but if you never played an Alola version and want to jump in I would call the original better in terms of the world of Alola but Ultra better for gameplay so it depends on what matters to you. I generally prefer character and plot, so my recommendation goes to the original most would say the opposite.

My full review with spoilers for USM under the cut

Sun and Moon was not really your story, it was Lillie’s and the bond she had with Nebby. Ultra Moon is treated just like Moon until the very last half of the game, and then the new plot starts and it’s a total train wreck. See, if they were going to do a new plot you’d think they’d start it earlier and not have all the dialogue be the exact same because it doesn’t work with the new plot. 

Here’s what I mean by the dialouge is the same at one point it’s hilarious because Hau beat Hala in USUM, but Gladion still states that Hau can't beat Hala when you first meet him. It’s just wrong and lazy. That a minor thing but then it cuts into story.

Lillie is still treated the exact same until everything starts and she’s roughly shoved aside. The touching moment between you and her on Executor Island? Gone. You go alone. She still does her Z form and all that but because Lusamine is so different (more on that later) it just feels pointless and all the power behind that scene is sucked away. She doesn’t even go to Ultra Space with you and obviously because her plot is chopped up she doesn’t go to Kanto either. She’s just there. And it would be okay because I get it different game but then why set her up to be the exact same as she was in the original games and then violently shove everything aside to make up for the new plot. It. doesn’t. work.

Lusamine....oh Lusamine, one of the most interesting villains we’ve ever had was reduced to wanting to go to Ultra Space to fight Necrozma because she has a hero complex and is selfish, same basic stuff we always had but it’s very hard to tell what they were trying to do with her. Because most of her dialogue is exactly the same and she still has the frozen Pokemon room and again it just doesn’t work. People are upset she’s now redeemable but she was in the first game too and at the very least it made sense in that one.

She lost her husband and due to it became an ultra beast obsessed Nilhelgo poisoned drug addict who continued to get more and more batshit insane the more she came in contact with said UB eventually becoming Mother Beast and needing a good old fashioned beat down and giving us one of the greatest confrontations and lines from her daughter. 

In Ultra Moon she goes to ultra space to fight Necrozma and comes out. Lillie and her apparently talk while you’re fighting Necrozma and...that’s it. 

Which again would have been fine if they didn’t set her up exactly like the original. Nilhelgo still shows up in Aether Foundation and you still battle the thing her lines are exactly the same. They don’t change until Lillie gets kidnapped.

Minimal changes usually do work, Platinum is the best example of that. But it doesn’t work with the plot SM had, USM should have gotten rid of the family drama then because that only works with Lusamine being the antagonist she was it doesn’t play as well with her sidelined role. Granted because she’s not toxined and Kanto’d you can unlock this but...that was also very underwhelming.

Hau on the other hand they tried to make this game more about him, and honestly they should have thrown Lillie’s plot out then because what they do do with him works. It was nice to see him beat his grandfather and being the “champion” you had to face instead of Kukui. That was all nice, but then they should have had him be involved in the main plot more. Then in post game it’s back to Lillie as Lusamine is kidnaped by Rainbow Rocket. And we see what we always wanted to see Lillie as a trainer! But it’s...meh not that powerful she’s only a double battle partner and then gives up and heals you along the way.

So what is the main plot? Necrozma fuzes with Nebby once it becomes Lunala (or Solgaleo if you’re playing Ultra Sun) retreats to Ultra Space and you with help of the Ultra Recon Squad’s Pokemon to get you there (otherwise they still do nothing) beat it and come back. In that Ultra Megalopolis thing right? Except man you’d think something with that name would be massive right? Even the prerelease material hyped it up. The distortion world was really cool! This though was a tower. That’s it. You can even do anything in the place it felt really bland. I half wonder if they planned to do something with it and then ran out of time. 

Anyway Necromza retreats and you can catch it right before the league on the mountain. Little underwhelming really. The URS was more of a walking plot device then actual characters too which is a shame as I wanted to like them but they would appear talk plot and then leave. And Necrozma isn’t even evil like advertised (Surprise! Who’s surprised? No one.)

So yes game play and all that is fixed but the plot is damn terrible. Seriously, yes URS is new but for the first four islands: "Hello. Cryptic stuff about our world. Bye!" and then straight back to the Sun/Moon plot. Which shouldn’t be how it was, they should have done more with them everything hits too late and EVERYONE suffers because of it. Except Hau, Hau did pretty well.

As someone who likes to get invested in the characters and plot I’m very disappointed. The Looker and Anabel quest is gone which...is a damn shame. That also gave us some more world building about Alola. Instead you get this Rainbow Rocket which is alright I guess. Ghetsis and Corless having a showdown was neat and you see a little into the past villains with some text. Guzma gets something which is cool too but why replace something that expanded on Alola for this? Could you have had both somehow then? I know Pokemon doesn’t have DLC and thank goodness but eh RR plot should have without a doubt been DLC. Delta Emerald was a great post game plot, it expanded on the world gave our new people some character and we learned more about Hoenn. Compared to that Rainbow Rocket was....fanservice. 

Since most people are into Pokemon for gameplay this will be fine I’m sure but as for me this game was basically my worst fears. I didn’t need to exist the same way BW2 didn’t need to exist (and as much as I rag on BW2 AT LEAST it was a sequel so there was nothing to ruin) I don’t agree with their choices and it was a total let down from BW but compared to this...which was a third game for a already pretty complete game. The one that NEEDED the fix was XY and it got nothing. I would have rather had Z over this honestly.

But the gameplay is solid at least, I’m just more of a involved with the world kind of person.

[c7thetumbler]

Quick Game Reviews: Games I played 2019

Hey All! We’re doing this again. Just a quick run down/impression of every game I played in 2019 (not necessarily released this year), and whether or not I recommend it and how much.

I don’t really do much creatively now a days. Or at all really so this is just a thing I’ll do.

Let’s get going; there are 55 individual items on this list this year, and 2 of them are trilogies, and then there’s Pokemon in there too, so you know there’s a rant coming! That’s a lot of ground to cover.

... I forgot how to do the tumblr bars that I use to separate sections so it’s just gonna be one big thing separated by just pictures instead after this keep reading split. There’s a lot of games.

Sonic Forces [Steam]

Coming off of Sonic Mania, this certainly served as a wake-up call as to what the Sonic franchise currently is, and how important it is that you have designers that know how to use the mechanics they’re building. It’s not “Bad”, but a lot of parts of it are. Modern Sonic stages are short but fun, the avatar stages had potential but fell short when they focused on the more tedious aspects of combat while platforming, which made the Avatar + Sonic stages a midway point between “Eh” and “Eugh”. Classic Sonic stages were just straight up really bad; They feel weird to play and don’t have any flow going to them whatsoever, which is really bizarre given they had the Sonic Mania team and didn’t work with them to build good levels, and how Sonic Generations at least understood parts of what made Classic Sonic good.

Not a terrible Sonic experience, but an incredibly skippable one at best. Play Colors and Mania instead.

Gizmo [Steam]

Gizmo is a “Prototype” of a 3D platformer that never came to be. As their steam store page suggests, they really love the genre and there’s a lot they wanted to do with it, but they realized that it was out of their scope so they packaged up the level they had and released it for free on steam. Honestly, it’s a really good start and I had a lot of fun with the one level they made; I really wish they could’ve made the full game but absolutely massive props for releasing what they did.

It’s free, like 3D platformers in any regard? Try it.

Suzy Cube [Steam]

Another 3D platformer, but this one’s in the vein of Super Mario 3D Land. Actually... It really IS Super Mario 3D Land in most ways. Definitely not a bad thing; if you’re going to emulate another platformer SM3DL is a good way to go, but that’ basically the experience here; SM3DL but with simpler design and controls, a little floatier as well. Levels are linear but there’s some good stuff in there, though the bosses are very repetitive and do take their sweet time near the end.

Like SM3DL? I Did, and this is more of that, so go ahead

Octopath Traveler: Wayfarer’s Edition [Switch]

I spent a few hours on this and only got to 3/8 characters (this is very little into the game). I can see a JRPG fan loving this, but to me the few mechanics they did introduce where definitely interesting in battle, but were a bit overwhelming and disparate outside of it. This isn’t bad; they definitely mostly allow for different interactions between you, the world, the NPCs and all those interacting with each individual character uniquely, but I wasn’t really in a mood to piece together a great, well-fleshed-out world.

JRPG fans will like it, and while I’m not one of them I can see there’s a lot to like here

The Marvellous Miss Take [Steam]

A Stealth game where you wander the halls of various galleries (levels) and try and steal all your art back without getting caught, as one of I believe 3 different characters (I only got two). Again, I’m a bit out of my element here. I’m not a huge fan of stealth games, as one mistake usually means tossing the whole experience out, but honestly this is a very well stylized, neat take on it so it’s some fun for sure.

A fun romp for Stealth fans, and there’s a lot of missions and variations to take on.

Donut County [Steam]

Donut County is a game not unlike Katamari Damacy where you gather objects to get larger to gather larger objects. Where it varies however is that each level is a linear “puzzle” where you try and figure out how your hole interacts with the environment and what order you need to make things fall in it. It’s a fun experience, but missing any sort of replay-ability or nuance, so the Katamari comparison really ends after the immediate premise. That being said, it’s funny, well-stylized, and a nice little time. The interactions you have with the various elements on screen and the whole are interesting and make for some interesting puzzles and funny situations, but it can’t or at least doesn’t really go very deep with it.

A fun, quirky indie experience. Worth a shot if you want a charming, funny game to have a short but interesting time with.

Ittle Dew 2 [Switch eShop]

Ittle Dew 2 is an incredibly good Zelda-like. Like, very incredibly good. There’s a whole lot to explore, there’s tons of secrets, every part of it oozes charm and character. There’s tons to do and get, and there’s absolutely no shortage of difficulty. There’s even a whole lot of super-secret, incredibly difficult content that ranges from “Oh that was nice to stumble on” to nightmare-inducing monsters in hidden dream worlds accessible only via looking it up or remembering every detail you stumble on and piecing together a series of steps that rival ARGs. That being said, it’s satisfying just to beat alone without going that hard, but man, finding the rest is a whole new experience.

I can’t recommend this enough. This is an excellent, well-made adaptation on the top-down adventure model

Nippon Marathon [Steam]

This is an interesting little game, but for me it fell very short. It’s definitely a better multiplayer experience than single, but it stands on it’s premise: you’re a character running an incredibly bizarre race as if you’re in a Japanese gameshow. It’s funny and weird, and honestly not a bad premise... but for me, it fell on it’s face when you finally figure out how everything works, and suddenly you realize how incosistant and random parts of the games that shouldn’t be are. Platforming is weird, CPUs range from obnoxious to completely useless, and the story itself loves to put like 5-9 cut-scenes between actual gameplay.

Fun with Friends, but only very shortly. I’d just recommend Mario Party honestly.

Super Dungeon Boy [Steam]

This is a pretty standard, level based indie pixel platformer. You can decide whether or not to use checkpoints, when to activate them, and find quite a bit of secrets. Honestly, it’s not bad, but it doesn’t really do anything particularly interesting and I found it overstaying its welcome near the end.

It’s not bad, but you’re better off with some more notable Indie 2D platformers.

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy [Steam]

As a big fan of classic 3D platformers, it was a crime that I never got into Crash back in the day. I did try and get through the original Crash on an emulator years later, but honestly I’m glad I waited for this. This trilogy faithfully recreates the original 3 crash platformers, for better or for worse. I loved playing through Crash 1; It’s playstyle is a product of its time, but it’s still really fun and has a lot of secrets. Crash 2 expands on that, adding even more levels and secrets while keeping the core gameplay the same. Crash 3... Did the thing that a lot of series of the time liked doing: focusing on minigames rather than the actual platforming. 2/5 levels in each of the worlds were normal levels, the rest were underwater, auto-runners, races, etc. Additionally, 1 clearly got the most love, 2 did a pretty good job, but 3 was less polished overall. Looks like they ran through the games and were running short on time near the end, and the Spyro trilogy sees this too. It’s a shame, but I digress.

Worth the purchase for classic-lovers, but parts of it needs to be enjoyed with that time of game design in mind as well; There are a few unintuitive secrets and minigames that don’t hold up in the modern age. 

Grapple Force Rena [Steam]

So I’m a big fan of GalaxyTrail, the indie company behind this game and Freedom Planet because of how good the latter was. Before Sonic Mania, I would’ve called Freedom Planet the best 2D Sonic game. It’s a great experience that gets its core gameplay and is genuinely a fun time, but has moments where it falls on its face before picking itself up again. Notably Boss fights and Story in FP were pretty jarring against the rest of the gameplay (Boss fights could get PAINFULLY hard, story meandered and got weird). Overall I was excited to play another game from them.

Grapple Force Rena has similar problems with it’s Boss fights being pretty bleh, it’s story being quite bizarre (but not bad, just weird), but with it’s gameplay being pretty good still. Not FP good, but good. I’m thinking this is just something the designers need to work through; Bosses doing things off-screen and being unpredictable is a common theme, but their level-design is really good so I’m still looking forward to their future work.

Another 2D Indie-platformer with a fun gimmick, good for a nice time if you’re in the mood for it.

Deep Rock Galactic [Steam]

You and some friends pick one of 4 up-gradable, customizable mining classes and launch onto an alien planet infested by bugs to complete various mining objectives, usually mining a certain amount of special minerals or destroying specific bug targets. The mines are procedurally generated which is neat, and the humor’s pretty funny, but at the time it could get pretty repetitive.

You can also get overwhelmed really fast if you’re not careful, but honestly like Left 4 Dead that has it’s own charm in some ways. It’s all about who you play with. I wouldn’t be opposed to revisiting this one day if/when it has enough content.

It’s a lot of fun with friends, but you may get bored of it after a few missions and you run into the same patterns and environments in the randomizer.

Wargroove [Steam]

This was an attempt to try and get into the strategy genre again for me. It’s definitely a charming, well-polished game, but I found after a couple levels its slower pace and more strategic elements (literally the point of the game) just wasn’t for me (I’m very bad at strategy games (dumb)). There’s definitely a lot here for those who are into the genre, but I have a feeling with how much buzz was generated over this the people who would like it know they would. 

A well-made take on Advance Wars and grid tactics games, but definitely not for me

Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing [Steam]

I picked this up because I remembered how fun its sequel was, that the sequel to that is coming out this year (later in this very post), and that I never beat it on the 360. Definitely a fun game in its own right, and you can see how well it was expanded on in the sequel, but it also has a variety of its own issues. Mainly, Super Monkey Ball stages are geometric, really bad levels, and there’s a pretty small amount of levels overall. Overall though, the challenge mode is a lot of fun and this would be a fun multiplayer racing game.

Also doesn’t run/upscale well on modern PC, so make of that what you will. Overall this didn’t age well; maybe on console where it runs without PC variables messing with things, but this in and of itself was Sega’s first, admittedly very good, step into the kart-racing genre.

It’s great, but just get the sequel, Transformed. It does everything better, rivaling Mario Kart 8 and beating it in some areas even.

Risk of Rain 2 [Steam]

I played this when it first “entered” Early Access, so it’s probably an even better experience now. It’s a good time running around, learning each character and power-up, and figuring out how everything interacts for sure, but it can also get very frustrating very quickly. additionally once you start looping it gets pretty dull; you’ve basically seen everything the game has to offer after your second loop. This is a pretty common problem for a lotta proc gen games though. It’s a fun 3D combat romp with interesting ways of expressing variety, but I’d wait until it gets more content if it hasn’t already

Yoshi’s Crafted World [Switch]

This game gets a lot of praise, and honestly I can see why. It’s the essential 2D Yoshi experience with a cute theme and a whole lot of things to do and collect. I definitely enjoyed my time with it, but I found myself burned out about halfway through. It was very strange.

Levels each try and have one new mechanic in them, and the play with the foreground, background, flipping levels and all that is neat, but together it just kind equates to more sub-areas than really anything effective there. Additionally the styling is somewhat inconsistent (Why are some characters like Piranha plants and shy guys just kinda normal when everything is made of crafts? How come the Yoshis are just fuzzy yoshis, is that supposed to be felt?), and even some of the color tones hurt my eyes during extended play. That being said, while I preferred Wooly World, this really is a great 2D Yoshi experience and worth a pick-up. I believe it even has a demo.

Sea of Thieves [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

Gamepass was a buck for 3 months so I gave this a pick-up with some buds. I really enjoyed my experience with it; the random sea monster fights were really intimidating (at first) the quests they added in the update this year were pretty entertaining, and PvP can sometimes be fun.

... But then you get a game where you spend the entire 5 hour session fighting with a group of griefers who only want to sink your ship and then find you again when you respawn, meaning you get 0 gold for it. They needed a lot more variety for combat and sea monsters as well. Megaladons were scary at first, but eventually they just turn into a nuisance, and the Kraken is pretty vanilla as well. All in all, it’s a fun experience with a group of 3 friends who are into it as well, but the lack of goals and directions can turn you off pretty quick if you can’t make your own fun of it.

Snake Pass [Windows 10 Store, Gamepass]

This one is honestly pretty fun and I didn’t give it enough time at the... time? Good words C, doesn’t matter only King’s reading at this point. Hi King. 

Anyway, the game controls surprisingly well once you get the hang of it. Oh I should explain it. Hey this is a game where you control the head of a snake and then use the rest of it to grip onto ropes, platforms, sticks, vines, etc. to traverse a level. It’s pretty fun, and there are a lot of collectibles to keep you busy too. Again I didn’t finish it, but it definitely seemed pretty doable and didn’t overstay its welcome. I’d give this a hearty recommendation overall, but the controls very much make it not for everyone.

Team Sonic Racing [Steam]

I’m gonna be contrasting this one with the next one, Crash Team Racing, quite a bit here. First though, after S&SASR:T (nice acronym), my hopes were high on another racing game from these guys, especially one that narrowed its focus down to just Sonic since that would allow it do depth instead of breadth. In some ways I got what I wanted; mechanically the team stuff is really fun and interesting, and the racing itself holds very well. Thematically just using wisps for items is also pretty good... but...

The roster, level, and car variety kinda suck. There are only 4-5 teams, some of them don’t make any sense, and with Sonic’s gigantic roster that’s a crime. They did the small roster in order to have unlockable parts (I believe it was 30 per car?), but honestly that just allows you to min-max or play what character you want without actually playing different styles. Half the levels are re-used, and the single-player mode is really not much better than the first game in the series. That being said, it’s a shame they didn’t go hard on the roster and marketing, because this game shines with how much better it plays than most other Kart racers and how deep the team mechanics can go. I really want to recommend this one, but since there’s no competitive community and the online is dead, I really can’t say it’s even better than the last game in the franchise, which is better for a casual dip into because it’s best mechanics are pretty surface level and quick to get.

Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled [Switch]

This game has the opposite problem than the last one: way too much characters variety, not enough depth. I get that this is a remake, and that they had to stay faithful in some regards, but to me this just didn’t age well at all. it feels stiff, you can get screwed over at the wrong time and throw the whole race, the challenges can be very unforgiving for that reason, and holy funk the loading times. I averaged 40 second load times on the Switch, and yeah it’s not the most powerful console in all existence, but that’s just gross. They did an update that improved it a little after I had finished playing but I have no interest in going back.

This is faithful, colorful remake as far as I can tell, so if it’s for you you already have it and likely love it. As a modern day kart racer, building off what the genre’s learned for the past 20 years? Mario Kart 8 and Sonic Transformed blow it out of the water.

Super Mario Maker 2 [Switch]

How many games are left- oh jeez I’m not even halfway done. Why did I save this all for the end of the year.

Super Mario Maker 2 improves on the original in almost everyway, with the exception being that the online is still pretty not good and you should be able to download and edit other peoples levels. The Single-Player campaign is a very welcome addition, I’m not a huge fan of the 3D world style but it’s there and okay, and multiplayer can be fun. When it works. Very rarely.

The lack of amiibo costumes also kinda sucks, but honestly with how much content there already is and how well they supported the last game, this game really should’ve been something I revisited constantly. However due to my own personal “journey” (personal character traits that are generally negative and get in the way of me actually doing and enjoying things), the creative spark I had that made me really want to create and share levels just isn’t there, so this fell off my radar pretty fast after several frustrating moments both making and playing.

It’s still a fantastic game, and I would heartily recommend it. But don’t go into it expecting modern day QoL online features..

Earth Defense Force 5 [Steam]

Fight giant ants, Frogs, aliens, and God. Get all sorts of crazy, hilarious weapons and robots.Play with friends for best experience. 10/10

Basically the same exact game as the last one, and they changed the song you sing to be worse. 1/10

Look it up on Youtube and you’ll know basically immediately if this is the game for you. It’s obscenely long and repetitive, think Hyrule warriors level of repeating content, so if you’re not into it, you’ll never even beat one run.

Evoland Legendary Edition [Steam]

This is a cute idea that’s done relatively well. You go through the whole game “unlocking” very basic features which match up with the general progression of adventure -> RPGs through the years, getting more and more complex as the game goes on. It’s nice, it’s funny, it doesn’t try to be to intense or in some cases polished (and indeed that’s the point sometimes).

It’s not really anything groundbreaking, but I had a smile on my face as I went through it so if it’s on sale and you want some nostalgia based humor, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Minit [Steam]

This was one I was expecting to be a short, rather bland idea that I would think “Oh, that’s cute” and then walk away from. And I mean it was, but it was also surprisingly well done and polished, which is odd to say about a 2-color game where the gimmick is dying a lot.

It’s true though; you pick up the cursed sword and from then on it’s a classic top-down adventure game ala Zelda where you have 60 seconds (one minute) to do something in the world to progress. This can range from moving an obstacle, finding a new item, setting a new spawn point, or just learning something new. It’s pretty fun and very clever. Honestly a really fun little adventure. Again, short but very sweet, and there’s a lot of replayability for secrets and speedruns if you’re into that

OKAMI HD [Steam]

I’ve always heard great things about this game, and honestly I can see it. But like... it felt like 45 minutes of cutscenes back to back before the game even starts, and after that it is not afraid to stop you even more to explain. I get it’s an older game, and I’d probably have really liked it back in the day on the DS, but oof, this could’ve used some modernization. It’s a pretty game, but I couldn’t get very far. It definitely tells more than it shows, and I don’t have that much patience, but there’s definitely an audience for it so I’d use someone else’s recommendation to determine whether or not you want to pick this up

Speebot [Steam]

I have a lotta platformers on my list this year. This is another puzzle platformer, you play as a little robot and try to get to the end of each winding level. Some have powerups like an umbrealla that lets you go further, a jet pack to jump higher, etc. Each level has a collectible or something along those lines, and honestly it’s not a bad game by any stretch.

But with all the other platformers I’ve played, and with the weird angle this one sticks to it’s hard for me to recommend, especially when you hit the “final” level and find out there’s a lot more game but you can’t beat that level until you go back and find everything. Again; not a bad game, but you can do far better in this genre.

Dr Mario World [Android]

I really wanted to like this game because I like Dr. Mario, but man they did a whole lot wrong. For starters: gacha needs to die. It’s gambling in Mario, so focused on kids. even its advertisements were very kid focused, so they should feel ashamed of themselves for that. They only kinda get away with it because the gacha does incredibly little past getting a slight advantage in Multiplayer vs, but we’ll get to that.

The story mode starts out fine. Pills move up, you need to clear all the viruses in the set amount of turns, your score is determined by your combos & pills remaining, etc. That part’s not bad until you get later in the game when you realize oh, some of the viruses are random, and so are your pill colors, so sometimes you just lose a level and that’s it. Getting all the stars on a single level later in the game turns into spending all your stamina and hoping for good stuff and luck on your character’s abilities getting proc’d, which since most of them are useless that doesn’t happen often. That’s when this feels more like a cheap puzzling phone game than it does a well-tested, polished experience like what I typically think of with Dr. Mario. So it doesn’t at all feel like a Dr.Mario game despite trying really hard to be, and with how hard games on mobile already pretend to be Nintendo games, it feels like one of the cheap knock-offs.

Multiplayer vs is a little better in feeling like Dr. Mario, but WAY WORSE when it comes to luck and character choice. Each character has an attack (how many rows you send over to the other side)  and defense (How likely your character will block rows sent over). Winning strat is to go HARD on defense (best you can do is ~75% chance of defense without more buffs iirc), or go full glass cannon and win fast. Peach for example can buff up to 76%, maybe even 80% with the right gacha rolls, which allows you to more or less consistently rely on your own skill for clearing the board. But she’ll only send over one row at a time, where say Bowser can send over 4. Sure, odds are he’ll miss, but he’s going to try several times and it only takes one landed shot to kill you. If you clear all your viruses, 3 more rows appear for each player, but if it’s time with an attack, hey look, 7 rows and whatever pills were floating are now landed, so you just immediately lost.

This is a bad game, and not even a Dr. Mario experience. Skip it; you can do better on mobile in this genre, or just pay for a game that’s worth your time.

Slap City [Steam]

So I’ve not played much of this, in fact I got it recommended by a coworker, but this guy is a comp melee player and said this game slaps. that was really funny C so it’s a 2D platform fighter filled with wacky characters from the studio who brought you Ittle Dew 2 (which you should play) and Princess Remedy (Which is free, and you can also play). It’s unique in that it knows it’s ridiculous, and it doesn’t have characters that feel like smash bros character clones. It’s physics are pretty interesting too, so I can say This is like smash bros, but in its own unique way, and you should give it a go if you’re itching for smash you can play on PC

Pokemon Masters [Android]

Another cruddy gacha game! This time with your favorite pokemon characters who are finally given personality that the games themselves never did well enough because GameFreak can’t do story. Is that unecessarily harsh on Gamefreak? Maybe, but maybe they should make better games that are actually better games! Anyway, this one isn’t made directly by Gamefreak and I’m letting my anticipation of reviewing Shield spoil this one.

So when this was first announced I thought it was going to pair with pokemon Home, and be the “Battle Frontier/ Stadium” that would constantly be updated and supported along with the mainline games, as well as add new interesting challenges and challengers while allowing each individual character and battle type to shine.

What it ended up being was a gambling simulator that you can grind the same 3 missions for weeks and weeks to level up your duos enough beat the main story. Like, I’ll give them credit for not doing stamina and actually writing the characters, and the core gameplay isn’t bad, but don’t waste your time with this; it certainly loves doing so for the sake of convincing you to drop more money on it to get it to stop.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 [Switch]

Surprise hit this year. Honestly massive props to King, who is again the only one reading this so Hi King, for recommending me this for my long flights to and from CA this year. I played it for weeks afterwards, and even wanted to 100% it. It’s like what if you took minecraft but actually made it so your villagers were people with personality who had lives and could maintain and use all your rooms, which could be given specific purposes. Why yes, this is a kitchen that you can use in conjunction with a dining room to make a restaurant supplied by the storage room filled with crops from the nearby farm you don’t even need to maintain after you set everything up!

My only complaint with this is you can hit the villager cap very quickly, and that the story can overstay it’s welcome (it was like 60 hours for me). It’s on Steam now, and I suspect modders will help out with those complaints though, so now they just need to add switch save cross-play and JEEZ people need to get this game so we could all build a massive self-sustaining utopia. Get the Steam version because it’ll eventually allow you to mod out the restrictions, but to me this is Minecraft but better in every way. i can’t recommend this enough in that regard.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna, The Golden Country [Switch]

So last year I had problems recommending Xenoblade II- wait was it last year or the year before? Doesn’t matter; I still do, but I finally decided to give this game DLC/Prequel a go. To my surprise it’s... in the same boat, but for different reasons. Let me explain:

I want to recommend XBCII for the plot, but I can’t because it’s so heavy in fanservice, anime tropes, and genuinely bad jokes and writing that the parts I want to focus on are undermined, and the parts I want to say are so bad it’s good are as well. This prequel I want to recommend because the plot sets up weird elements and makes the main game make more sense, but one of the main characters’ motivations still make no sense with their actions in the next game and you really do need to have played the original to get it. I will say, the ending of the prequel’s tone sets up and contrasts really nicely with the tone throughout the original. Also Rex is a complete idio-

I want to recommend XBCII for the combat, but it doesn’t work until you get 85% the way through, which is 60 hours of your time that I can’t ask of you if I can’t even play games for an hour when they frontload their tutorials. This prequel has better, more streamlined combat, but in someways it removes aspects of the combo system that really brought the original together (at the end), and the only super amazing fight is the final battle, which is again a long ask.

The Prequel definitely improves the QOL, getting rid of the gacha blade system for set party members, and really doesn’t waste your time there, but it’s also lacking in its world in that you only explore 3 titans, half of one isn’t present, but I don’t know what I expected with DLC.

Anyway, play this if you enjoyed Xenoblade Chronicles II, but as a standalone or intro into it, it’s another difficult recommendation for me to give.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening [Switch]

Remember on WiiU when games that were remakes were priced less than the $60 asking price, even though they added a fair amount of content? I miss that.

Anyway, it’s Link’s Awakening that’s been heavily stylized and has a number of QOL improvements. It looks very pretty and plays well (drops frames a lot though which is strange), but it doesn’t add much other than a dungeon maker mode which doesn’t work online and is incredibly bland and limited, as well as a hero mode which is pretty straightforward there; just a hard difficulty with some knobs turned to make it so.

Link’s Awakening DX is available right now to buy on the 3DS eshop for like $6, and is a very close experience. I can’t say the graphics, QOL improvements, and single very underwhelming feature addition justify a $60 price tag. If it ever goes on sale for $30, sure, but it’s Zelda so don’t hold your breath.

Bomber Bother [Steam]

TRANS RIGHTS. ARE HU-MAN, RIGHTS

clap clap

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair [Switch eShop]

This is a very interesting, well-designed game from the 3D overworld to almost every 2D level that was clearly lovingly crafted that I would heartily recommend...

HOWEVER. It has one major flaw: It’s first and “final” level, The Impossible Lair, and that’s it’s premise.

It is incredibly unforgiving (I get that’s the point), very unfair (Again, I get that’s the point) and you’re supposed to lose it. A lot. And when you do, the villain who cheated laughs in your face and plants a big EPIC FAIL stamp on screen. You know; disparaging the player for doing exactly what they’re supposed to do.

The main crux is that you once the game kills you and decides that was your fault, you run through many actually good levels that change depending on the 3D environment around them that you can manipulate to unlock additional hits to take into the impossible lair. Problem is even after you get all 48 hits, you’ll find that one mistake can cost you several hits at once. Because the level is garbage and incredibly unfair. This aint the Dark Souls of platformer levels; this is the incredibly hard Mario Maker level with a 0.000001% clear rating because it dropped thwomps on you out of no where near the end of the level. Only throughout the level. With changing physics and underwater sections.

You get the point. If you can stomach playing an incredibly bad level, which unfortunately was the main draw of the game, the rest is a very solid Donkey Kong Country style platformer. But also: Tropical Freeze exists on Switch right now, and while it doesn’t have the 3D overworld gimmick, it doesn’t have that bad level problem either, sooooooooooooooooo weigh those options.

Ring Fit Adventure [Switch]

This was a surprising announcement and release, and not just because the premise was crazy and weird, but that it was actually by itself a good game. You run through a world using the Joy Con strapped to your leg and jump, blast, and manipulate air using the ring, which is actually pretty good at reading your inputs, as well as putting up enough resistance to put up a work out. The RPG mechanics itself are pretty straight-forward, but they work for doing reps and working up a sweat.

I can’t speak for how good this is at losing weight; I have a terrible track record with exercise which always kills it no more than 2 weeks in, and every review I’ve seen (not that many admittedly) says it’s good for working up a sweat and they didn’t gain weight, but they also didn’t see any loss. That being said, I’m sure this pairs excellently with diet and is fun in it’s own right. It’s a surprisingly great, charming game all by itself, and a good way to keep in motion, but don’t expect it to work miracles on it’s own.

 Mario Kart Tour [Android]

This is the most Pay-to-win, exploitative, disgusting gambling game aimed at kids using a beloved franchise video game I’ve ever seen. Do not buy this, and if anything actively encourage Nintendo to do better.

Well, that was easy.

....

So I guess justifying that, fine whatever. Each course has a small number (sometimes only one of each) of characters, karts, and gliders that are in focus, and without the right ones in the second half of each “tour” you won’t be able to get enough stars to get the gifts in the tour, which allow you to play the gacha for the EXTREMELY LIMITED characters in focus for at most 2 weeks, usually only one. Additionally you get a pitiful amount of rubies (rolling currency) each tour anyway.

You can do some challenges on the side for more stars, but it’s calculated in such a way that you absolutely must do those challenges to get enough stars to get all the gifts anyway, and half of those require specific characters as well. Often times the characters which are on sale in the weekly $20-$40 character packs, which is disgusting. Also, rolling the same character/kart/glider (we’ll say items now) increases the “Skill” of that item, which maxes out at a level of 6. Now that doesn’t mean 6 duplicates will max it out and you won’t roll them again; each skill level requires more and more dupes to complete. For rare characters which you have to pay over $200 to guarantee you’ll roll, you’ll need to do it at least 10 times.

Sad about how little rubies you’re getting? Excellent news! The bonuses other games usually give out to get you to keep playing are locked behind a subscription service. for only $4.99 a month, you can play a free-to-play game that actually wants to hook you on paying for the gacha. Since it’s a much better experience when it actually wants to care about your existence (now that you’ve proven you have a credit card and are willing to drop money on this game), you’ll be duped into going on forums and explaining how actually the subscription pass is an amazing deal! Praise Nintendo, as you spend $60 in a year for a version of Mario Kart that doesn’t play well, is completely random, and doesn’t reward you for skill as much as it does taking your money.

Do not even download it. This will be a case study in the future when we review how developers used the psychology of sunk cost and addiction to sell virtual items to the masses using brands they trusted.

Evoland 2 [Steam]

So whereas the first game was just a quirky little game that was having fun with a gimmick, this game appears to be an actual, fleshed out JRPG with some puzzley, platformer elements thrown in. Which is cool, and I don’t necessarily mind. There’s still some charm going on with the style changing and the mechanics of traveling through time in both the mechanics and the story.

But it’s a very different game in tone and execution. It’s for sure not a bad experience, but a more traditional JRPG one, which I wasn’t in the mood for when I picked this one up

Spyro Reignited Trilogy [Steam]

This has a lotta similar beats to the Crash Trilogy: The first game is well-done, the second is even better, but the third one is a little less polished and the presence of minigames is... disappointing. That being said, I liked this one a whole lot better than Crash. The music is fantastic, The level design for the most part is really well done, It’s got it’s own style and charm, and the gameplay itself holds up surprisingly well. Unlike the Crash Trilogy, I actually was very happy to 100% all three games. Whether you’re new to classic Spyro or want to relive it, it holds up very well in this trilogy. Protip: you can just delete the movie files for the startup logos and intro to immediately get into the game menu. 

That being said, in some aspects they were a little TOO faithful. All the characters existing in multiple places at once and feeling really stilted wasn’t really needed and they could’ve done better there. The skateboarding minigame is buggy and awful as all hell, I would’ve liked to have seen the speedway courses more fleshed out, and honestly I think it would’ve been cool to see a new level or two just to show that the developers can match the magic.

I mean that’s the point of these, right? To gauge the interest in re-introducing classic Spyro formula for future games? And not just a cash grab working of nostalgia for those sweet sweet moneybags?

Anyway, Activision making you sign a 42 page disclaimer before playing single player games is pure nonsense, what is that abou-

Luigi’s Mansion 3 [Switch]

This game is really good. I was a little worried after Dark Moon that it’d be incredibly linear, and to be fair... It kind of is. But in a good way, where you can explore a bit as you go through, and even revisit past areas with the knowledge gained from future floors for goodies, and honestly at this point we know I’m a sucker for collectathons so yeah.

Gameplay-wise it build on Dark moon’s mechanics while adding a few clever ones of its own. It’s incredibly well done and Next Level Games really made a gigantic effort to make each character express themselves in their own way, even if they were clearly somewhat limited for like Peach or Mario (Kinda weird how they seem to express themselves via their Spin-off like out bursts of “yahoo” and “Oh my” but that’s nitpicky af). The game is packed with secrets and is really funny and clever about them, as well as containing subtle nods to not just things present in the original but also how the original was structured for the longtime fans of the series. As a single player game, it’s a genuinely great time.

As a multiplayer game? It’s pretty good too. Scarescraper was a fun mode in Dark Moon and I’m glad to see it back, and for a few rounds it’s genuinely a fun time. Like all Proc Gen games though, you start to get a feel for what happens where and it becomes pretty easy to complete each floor and even carry teams which otherwise wouldn’t have succeeded. In that way, I’m both a little happy the Multiplayer will be getting DLC to add more variety, and dissappointed that it wasn’t there in the first place since right now Scarescraper is a carbon copy of how it was in Dark Moon. But I mean, it’s fun and they didn’t have to do it, so it’s definitely still worth a play.

Basically this is the best Luigi’s Mansion experience, and a must-have on switch. Next Level Games is a wonderful studio, and I’m happy to see them knock this out of the park.

If only that 3DS remake of the original was on switch instead tho

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 [Switch]

It’s really weird how this series plays out. It’s a pretty fun game in it’s own right, but what doesn’t make sense to me is their character choice. Clearly this is a fanservice series; Mario & Sonic characters duking it out in a friendly setting where nothing really matters to either franchise, and a little story that provides historical info about the olympics at the same time. It’s fun, for sure, but why does it limit some characters to just single events? Fan favorites like Diddy, Rouge, Rosalina, and Espio (and boring characters like the koopalings or the deadly six) really don’t have a reason to be limited in such a way, especially when they were used in previous games, so why do it? It’s quite strange.

Additionally the game could use a lot of QoL updates, none of which should be new. It’s essentially a mini-game compilation, and a lot of them are a lot more complicated while only being like 2 tries long, so being able to easily shift between them would be nice. Or at least have clearer explanations as to how to play or what each character does.

That being said, the classic style games are pretty fun, and the events are also pretty good once you get the hang of them so it’s a fun experience worth trying with some friends casually if you’re into that.

Human: Fall Flat [Steam]

So this one’s an old one, but so are a few others on this list so it’s fine. This is one of those games where the controls being wacky and strange with the physics is the draw. Again, normally don’t go for this, and I’m sure I’d get over it very quickly in single player. Multiplayer though? Incredibly fun. Highly recommend this with a couple friends and the steam workshop for some wacky skins for a fun evening.

Tiny Barbarian DX [Steam]

I dunno what possessed me to play this one. It’s another indie retro-styled platformer, and this one specifically seems to be structured like Ghosts and Goblins. It’s pretty difficult, but not overwhelmingly so. That being said I didn’t get very far, so take my experience with the first level with a grain of salt; it looks like it gets pretty tough later in the game.

It’s another indie 2D platformer that doesn’t really do much other than be difficult and have some basic combat mechanics. Not bad, but not really noteworthy there either.

Untitled Goose Game [Switch eShop]

This game stands really hard on its premise, which is completely fine because the premise of living out being an asshole goose is an amazing one and all power to it for doing it. You feel like an asshole goose every step of the way, including when you can pointlessly flap out your wings to look like a bigger asshole, which mechanically does absolutely nothing.

The puzzles are clever, though a few of them take a bit too much waiting or setup for my tastes. It certainly is an enjoyable time, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome being only a couple hours long at most. It does offer speedrunning challenges and secret tasks however, similar in replayability to Journey so that’s going for it as well. God I love Journey.

Anyway, you know about this game already, if you laughed at its premise you’ll like it.

Fighties [Steam]

I didn’t spend very long with this one, but I think I still get it. It’s a Platform fighter with 1-hit-to-kill, each of the MANY characters (very few of which are available at the start) have their own gimmick. It’s like towerfall, but less polished and with a ton more character variety, but since it doesn’t do a great job of explaining it and there’s more complexity in an otherwise simple game. It’s a simple concept, but it’s done way better in games like Towerfall.

New Super Lucky’s Tale [Switch eShop]

All the platformers on this list. So this is from my understanding the best version of this game, the original being a VR game for Xbox. Going into it I knew this was a game that was basically an intro for newer/younger players into 3D collecting platformers, but I was pleasantly surprised by how incredibly polished it is. Everything feels really good to play, and there are a few moments when the gameplay is like “eh, not so sure about that”, the marble levels and auto runners specifically, but everything else is so good I have to say this is an absolutely wonderful experience.

For those who have played 3D platformers before, yeah this game is pretty easy. But it’s never really boring though, something other games have an issue with if they’re too straightforward. Finding the collectibles never really blows you away in challenge, but still feels rewarding, and at the end of the game there’s a whole section similar to Champion’s road that puts everything you’ve learned to the test in some particularly challenging levels, with a really tough collectible to find in each. It’s not groundbreaking, but it’s a very well done platformer in its own right and worth a pickup for those who love that formula, or those who haven’t been exposed to it somehow.

They do try a little hard with the plot at the end though with an avengers style ending and that was a little corny. It’s fine tho.

Pokemon Shield [Switch eShop]

Here it is peeps. The big ol rant. The part where I call this game a gigantic pile of trash.

Like the picture, get it, it’s garbador but really big. because this game is garbag-

So I’ve already ranted for what feels like 9 long essays about this on twitter so I’ll sum up as best as I can here. Or at least shorten it. This game is by far the worst in the franchise, and here are my points:

This game is the shortest in the franchise, ranging at most 21 hours to beat the story, pretty bad for a Pokemon game let alone a JRPG

There are only 10 routes, all of which are linear and there are no “dungeons” like Team rocket hideouts, winding caves with multiple floors and interlocking paths.

The Gym challenge is the whole game. The antagonists whole plotline is introduced and then resolved just before the champion’s fight at the end in under an hour, again with no “dungeon” or build-up

Characters will often times tell you about all the interesting things they’re doing when you’re not around, stuff that in previous games you would be doing, before telling you to go back and just worry about the gym challenge. The most egregious of which is when Leon’s like “WHAT’S THAT COMMOTION OVER THERE!?”, runs off screen <fade to black pointlessly>, you go follow him through the next load zone just off screen, and are presented with a newspaper article of Leon defeating a Dynamaxed pokemon by himself right before where you’re standing and had to walk through anyway. The game is littered with similar moments, from Sonia putting together what happened in the past, to Hop beating you to the end of every route.

Only 3 legends, only 2 of which you can catch and doing so is mandatory

Battle tower is pathetic

Despite being on a cartridge that is MANY TIMES larger on a system that can save data orders of magnitude faster, you still have the same amount of pokemon storage space as previous games. Worse, they made no effort to make the UX of navigating the PC better and searching still doesn’t work like a search should

The wild area feels like an Early Access concept that wasn’t fleshed out properly, There’s nothing to discover other than Pokemon soulessly wandering around at most 20 feet away from you due to draw distance

The UX, and really the whole formula hasn’t changed at all, and fights take obscenely long because GF seems to think they’re developing for a Gameboy game still and animations and each individual line of text need to occur painstakingly slowly one after the other

Gigantamaxing, arguably the most interesting part of the game, is OBSCENELY rare to get specific pokemon for, and is honestly a post-game thing. It took me longer to roll a GMax Hatterene than it did to get 3 shinies. Having no way to G-max the pokemon you already have the adventure with is completely counter to the series’ core

Taking out all the online functionality they’ve had since gen 4 (a gen that had way more content), just to sell it back to you in a phone app that won’t be out for another half a year is a crime. The existing functionality, which requires a subscription already to use and doesn’t even properly work is a pathetic joke when the DS games had this solved first try in 2006 without a subscription

GF still doesn’t know how to make characters behave like humans, doing the classic turn in place, play same animation, talk, turn in place, animation, talk, walk off screen, fade to black because we can’t even unload characters properly thing

The intro to Pokemon cutscene, Hop’s in battle dialog, Piers singing, and many of the cutscenes with Leon all feel like they need to be voice acted. But aren’t, for whatever reason, which feels INCREDIBLY tacky and something I’d expect from a unity indie company

This game has less content overall than the first Pokemon games on the 3DS, and is arguably less polshed than the GBA ones in terms of their actual gameplay

All of this, and it’s clear that it’s a rushed, unfinished 3DS game. Only you get the privilege of paying $60 for it instead of $40, $120 if you want both versions which is a whole nother rabbit hole of “How are they getting away with this crap”

Notice: I didn’t mention Dexit once. That’s because the premise for the backlash is set on only being able to transfer pokemon that are already in the game, but I feel like I need to point out something people seem to miss, surprisingly? ... Pokemon Home isn’t out. It won’t be for 3 more months. Meaning you can’t transfer your Pokemon at all. This game isn’t even feature complete, and given that it’s one of Nintendo’s flagship franchises and isn’t supported by the cloud save feature, which again you need to have a subscription for to play a lot of the main features of this game, is another kick in the face from GF. Pokemon Home, or some sort of Switch-compatible storage system, should’ve been ready when LGPE launched last year and available to NSO subscription owners as a substitute for their inability to save progress. The fact that we have to wait until March to pay for another separate form to store Kilobytes of data on top of the subscription and insane markup on the base game is exploiting the franchise even more.

This is the worst game in the franchise, the most expensive game in the franchise, the most barebones game in the franchise, one of the buggiest games in the franchise, and the game in the franchise that cares the least about your time or previous experiences with it. I would say skip it, but it’s already sold way more than it has any right to, which is why I bought it as well. TPC and GF know this will always sell, so why put in the effort to top themselves with the highest grossing media franchise of all time. The sunk cost fallacy has my over 20 years of collecting hostage, get out while you can.

Halo The Masterchief Collection: Halo Reach [Steam]

This is unfortunately another game that serves as an example as to why I struggle with Multiplayer games. I’m unfortunately so far behind my friends that I consistently land bottom of the board, and there’s only so many times that happens before playing the game jut feels bad for me. That eing said, there’s a lot to like about this game in that aspect so I can’t hold it back because of my own personal struggles.

As for the campaign, it definitely feels like a game from it’s time, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I had fun with it, though i can’t say I’d do it alone or grind it out. It feels rather short, and I guess Reach isn’t a good starter point; just canonically the first in the series. It’s it’s own FPS experience and it’s unique in its own ways, so it’s worth a shot to try it out f you’re unsure where you are. But it’s also Halo, Xbox’s flagship title, so you probably also already know if it’s for you.

Sonic Forces: Speed Battle (Android)

So the mobile games this year aren’t reviewing well, and with my trek back to CA for the holidays I thought I’d give this one a go. It plays a lot like Sonic Dash; you auto-run forward, collect rings and power-ups, however this time there are a large variety of characters with different attacks to choose from. And you’re fighting other players. It’s pretty neat.

Monetization wise, it’s technically gacha, but not intentionally. You get character by getting enough of their “cards” to unlock them, and you get their cards via either random in-game chests which you unlock by playing/waiting (or watching ads), or you can buy packs that just flat out have the cards you need. The only “Gacha” in there is by technicality, you can buy red rings (premium currency) to buy the chests you normally find quicker, but those won’t have special characters usually. I like this model a lot better; If you want to pay money for a special character, you can just buy the character. If you want to play free, you’re not at any disadvantage because limited characters aren’t in a gambling banner, you do quests to get there cards.

That being said, after you play for a couple days it loses most of its charm. There are a lot of characters, but their abilities are near-identical, just with some bonus flair that has more minor effects. After playing 50 30-second ish matches, you get the picture and there’s not a whole lot of strategy left. There’s potential here, and the monetization model is definitely a lot friendlier, but overall it’s a pretty bland experience once you understand the core gameplay.

So when is that chao garden mobile game that ties into new sonic games gonna come ou-

The World Ends With You: Final Remix (Switch)

This is one I’ve been meaning to play for a long, LONG time but was never in the mood to get started on it. I knew it was a JRPG with really quirky plot & mechanics and a cult following, and boy do I need to be in the mood for that in order to actually get through them. They have a huge tendency to offload a crapton at the front and I’m very easily turned off by that, unfortunately.

As I was here, again, unfortunately. I can see why people like it, but I gave it a couple hours, argued with the controls,  got frustrated with the puzzles (getting stumped on the puzzle in the screen shot for 20 minutes before backtracking and realizing the game locked the solution I already knew behind an NPC I had already talked to was not great) and decided it was a “try again another day” sorta thing. I did this to Xenoblade Chronicles as well, and now I can’t recommend it enough and automatically buy every game in that franchise, so it’s no dig on this. I don’t have any valid opinion on this yet.

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD (Switch)

I don’t think I like Super Monkey Ball everyone! The first 3 worlds were fine, world 4 was starting to show some nonsense, and then world 5 and 6 had me going full “THAT WAS GARBAGE, I WAS ROBBED.” Cobalt Caverns has 2 levels specifically where it’s a straight crapshoot whether it works or not, and given that there are 6 playable characters one of those levels is straight impossible if you pick the wrong one.

I mean it’s fully possible that I “Don’t get it” of course. That the level that flings your character through a course at super speed that you have very little input in, which ejects your ball at random is in fact deterministic and possible with every character. That the course where you cross a winding downhill tightrope that doesn’t have the checkerboard pattern so you can’t see it tilts enough to make light characters fall off every time is in fact really clever.

But I don’t have the patience for it. Granted, I know Monkey ball is an arcadey, high-score experience and not one where you just go through the levels once and have a reasonable expectation of being able to complete them with relative, linear ease. But it just rubbed me the wrong way. I imagine if you know you’ll like Monkey Ball’s replayability, you’ll love this, but if you’re unsure then I’d say it’s not a game for the impatient.

Kero Blaster (Steam)

This is one that I’ve been meaning to pick up for a long, LONG time. Cave Story is probably one of the most important indie games out there, it was a ton of fun, and with recent resurfacing of Nicalis hate for doing Pixel dirty on the rights to the game and its characters, I figured now was a good time to try it. Especially since I liked its demo, Pink Hour, well enough last year.

It’s... Fine, for sure. nothing particularly wrong with it, but nothing really great about it either. I was okay with my time with it, and it felt like cave story. But it lacked a lot of the secrets, unlockables, story, etc. and the shop system really wasn’t as fun a system to replace it. That being said, it’s clearly supposed to be replayed since you unlock the first achievement and a new, harder mode after you beat the final boss, so there’s more there for sure. It’s a short, well-contained experience with some secrets to replay for, but overall nothing truly ground breaking. But you should be getting this to support Pixel rather than buying another version of Cave Story he won’t even get money for. And then Play Cave Story right now as well anyway, because Pixel still has it up on his site available for free. 

Brawler 64 (N64 Controller)

So I know it’s not a controller, but all my N64 controllers are trashed and I needed it to actually play some games so I’m just gonna review them here. These controllers are nice. I’ve always wondered why it was so difficult to find really good N64 replacement controllers that were designed sensibly so a human with two hands could actually use it. And that’s what this is! pretty neat.

Aesthetically they nailed the look; mix of grey and then the classic N64 colored see-through plastic, which is a controller look I miss but I understand not wanting to show internals now that they have moving parts. Buttons all are sensibly placed and it feels comfortable to hold. Only two gripes I have with the controller:

1. It feels really light, and a a result the handles feel a bit cheap. I feel like a hard enough grip could crack it, though I’m not sure that’s the case and I’d have no reason to grip that hard anyway

2. the trigger buttons (Z-button replacement) is analog despite being a digital input on the original controller. This makes no sense; I love a good analog shoulder button, but since the Z-Button is only digital, it would be way more satisfying and responsive to just have it clearly click to indicate the button’s being pressed.

Despite that, these controllers fix the main gripes with the original N64 controller and will probably last me a very, very long time. I’d recommend them as a good replacement

Pummel Party (Steam)

So this is a very “violent” but property generic version of Mario Party available on Steam, up to 8 players and compatible with online. Honestly, I only played one game but it’s pretty fun! I’m not sure how it evolves as you learn more mechanics; Mario Party can vary wildly in how that happens with sometimes it being a good thing to know the advanced mechanics and sometimes it revealing the flaws underneath and making it unfun past the first couple games, or with people who don’t.

But this was fun. Lots of weird items, they clearly tried to do something differently and balance out some stuff with the death mechanics. Some of the controls for the minigames are ehhhhh (should devote to encouraging a keyboard and mouse OR controller, rather than middling between them) and we saw a few repeats in a 25 turn game which was surprising, but we may have been unlucky. Definitely pick it up with some friends if you had a need for Online Mario Party

Gato Roboto (Steam)

God this game is adorable. It’s a super fun, condensed Metroidvania adventure that’ll run you under 3 hours, but it’s well made and look great, even with its 2-tone color scheme everything looks clear and pretty. Sound effects are great too.

The experience itself isn’t particularly ground breaking, but it wasn’t trying to be so that’s fine. I managed to find all the pick-ups, and not once was I like “Oh god, it’s a miracle I found that” or “I never would’ve guess this did that.” Everything was clear, it was crisp, and it was fun. Plus it’s got nice support for speedrunning; I was almost tempted but that’d be a fun reason to stream and I can’t have fun so that’s off the table. I highly recommend it; it’s just a short but seat and well-made Metroid game and sometimes that’s hard to come by without other new mechanics getting in the way.

Momodora III (Steam)

Got this one in just under the wire (hours before 2020). There’s a lot of small indie platformers on this list too.

So if you’ve played the much more, erm, advertised sequel, this game is a lot less metroidy and a lot more linear. You can go back and discovere secrets, but there’s not a lot (as far as I can tell), and it gets pretty tough in places. Even still though, I got 87.5% in under an hour and 5 minutes and beat the final boss (there’s seemingly a secret one tho).

So gameplay wise it’s fun, it’s pretty solid, and it has a few moments where you’re just like “Oh, that enemy throws instant death bombs, so uh, don’t die.” Overall though a quality experience, a lot of replayability if you love the first playthrough as well.

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Best Game I played in 2019: Ittle Dew 2

This one was a bit tough here, so I’mma have an honorable mention section that’s basically equivalent. But this game takes the Zelda formula and polishes it while still being quirky and its own thing, then takes it WAY further with all the secrets, bonuses, power-ups, and dear got the nightmares you find. If you’ve ever enjoyed any Zelda game, ittle Dew 2 is a must-play for you as far as I’m concerned.

Best Game that Actually Came out in 2019: Luigi’s Mansion 3

This one’s easy. Next Level Games put so much polish and charm into the franchise while putting a lot of wit and depth into each room on the hotel. It’s not without flaws, but it more than makes up for them by being it’s own thing while building off both the previous two Games

Honorable Mentions: Dragon Quest Builder’s 2 & Spyro Reignited Trilogy

For just being like, great goddam games. Seriously; DQB2 kinda blows minecraft out of the water if only it had less town limitations and multiplayer server support. And Spyro aged pretty well with this trilogy, so I can’t not love it being a 3D platformer collectathon enthusiast.

Honorable Mentions That Are Quick but Great Experiences You Should Play: Gizmo, Minit, & Gato Roboto

I find I like short, simple experiences a lot more these days. These are that; well-made games that are far from overstaying there welcome definitely worth a go if you have a few bucks (or free I guess since Gizmo is a free unrealized demo) and an hour or two you just want to enjoy.

Also, Bomber Bother’s just really funny and free and spawned from a great cause so like why not.

...

And that’s all! One day I’ll actually like make a good game, or do something interesting, or leave Texas! Or any number of things other than typing out my opinion online that nobody even asked for for that sick dopamine rush.

mmmmm

C ya!

[metalgearkong]

Resident Evil 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Review

Developed by Capcom, released January 25th, 2019

The Resident Evil series was first to put the “survival horror” genre on the map. The very first game released in 1996, surviving the zombie filled Spencer Mansion, immediately became a revolutionary and iconic experience in the video game industry. Resident Evil 2 in 1998 was a well received sequel that further popularized the series and the genre. With the series changing and evolving over the generations, it took a more action-oriented tone. Resident Evil 6 was the peak of the over the top action phase the franchise transformed into, and the worst reviewed in the main series to date. Fans became extremely vocal and specific about how Resident Evil, their beloved video game series, had become unidentifiable, and needed to change. Capcom heard player feedback, and course corrected strongly with the extremely subdued, suspenseful, disturbing, immersive Resident Evil 7, which fans any myself adored.

Resident Evil 2 2019 continues Capcom’s streak of making games that returns the series to its roots. Remakes and re-released have been big business for this current generation of gaming, but I was skeptical about how faithful the Resident Evil 2 remake would be. Unless you’ve been boarded up in R.P.D. for the past few weeks, you may have heard how outstanding Resident Evil 2 turned out. From the graphics to the faithfully recreated maps, puzzles, retained difficulty, and modernization of the gameplay, Resident Evil 2 yet again is a smash hit. Not only is this already a contender for the best game of 2019, this may be my very favorite incarnation of a Resident Evil game of all time. While its level of commitment to the original does inherit some of the 1998′s imperfections, Resident Evil 2 stands as an industry standard on how to remake or re-imagine an old classic.

We chose to play as either Clair Redfield or Leon S. Kennedy, both with similar campaigns which overlap briefly on occasion. Whether you pick one protagonist over the other, the game is largely the same. Something I was worried about was the 3rd person camera angle, and the ability to shoot and move at the same time. Hearing about these features conjured bad memories of the action-heavy Resident Evil 6, notorious for being too fast paced and completely lacking in horror and suspense. Resident Evil 2 may have similar gameplay, but major tweaks keep this game from making the player feel too empowered. Any movement whatsoever while aiming greatly drops your firearm’s accuracy, so holding still while shooting is basically the only way to do it. The camera follows the protagonist closely, and nearly every room and corridor of R.P.D. is shrouded in darkness, barely illuminated by emergency lights and the beam of your flashlight. Somehow Resident Evil 2 has the best gameplay of the series, while still retaining nearly every shred of suspense from the original games. It’s the best of both worlds and I’m honestly shocked how well Capcom pulled it off.

The game begins with extremely limited inventory space, but can be grown over time by finding hip pouches. This is crucial as you’ll want to carry as many items with you as possible each time you navigate the halls and corners of the dark police station. There’s nothing more frustrating (in a good way) than finding an item and not being able to bring it with you because your inventory is already full. This retains gameplay from the old games that makes the series just as much of a strategy game as it is an action game. Resident Evil 2 retains the universal item boxes as well, usually found in save rooms safe from monsters. One of my favorite parts about this remake are key features that make the game less of a chore to play without sacrificing the atmosphere or suspense. For example, your map has always been your best friend in a survival horror game, and in Resident Evil 2, the game will indicate which rooms have had all of its items collected or not, and will label items on the map if you came across it, but didn’t pick it up yet. This is incredibly helpful for finding all the items in the game but also gives substantial peace of mind as you look at your map always wondering if you’ve truly found everything that can be found in any given room or hallway. It completely eliminates the “backtracking out of desperation.”

Saving is much more convenient as well, as in any difficulty short of the hardest, saving can be done as many times as you’d like. I do miss the Ink Ribbons from the past, as it added yet another layer of strategy to the original games, but I will take this level of convenience over having to suffer through the hardest mode in the game (when its already difficult enough). Ammunition is still very limited, and even simple zombies can take anywhere from 3-6 head shots before they are truly defeated. Zombies lumber around and moan more organically than ever before, and even with the added mobility of the characters, the small rooms still mean you’ll be grappled and bitten by a zombie more often than you’d think or care to admit. It makes all those “how did they not see it coming?” moments in zombie movies or TV shows much more understandable when you have to experience it for yourself. Most of the times zombies will even get back up after being defeated, requiring another 3-6 head shots to permanently kill them.

A great new twist are how we use knives and grenades. If you are carrying one of these items, you can trade using that item when being hurt instead of taking the damage. It’s like a safety net to keep you from damage if you foolishly get to close to a zombie, licker, or zombie dog, and I love the new way these items are used. The biggest and baddest enemy of them all is Mr. X, an Umbrella B.O.W. as persistent as a S.O.B. This does lead to a slightly negative aspect of the game I have, as he can follow you into almost every room except save rooms, meaning you have to run around losing him if he’s in an area you need to focus on (i.e. solve a puzzle or collect items). The sound design is fantastic as you can hear him through the R.P.D. stomping on the wooden and tile floors. Capcom wisely changed the sound of his footsteps if Mr. X enters the same room you are in, queuing you into getting the F out of there. He can make the second half of exploring R.P.D. a bit more tedious than it needs to be, which is why I find him almost as annoying as I do terrifying.

Claire and Leon’s campaigns do slightly differ, but not as much as some people may make you think. While you do explore the same levels, fight the same bosses, and solve most of the same puzzles, items are in slightly different places, and certain areas of the game are only seen by one character or the other. Each campaign also has a guest hero, who we get to play as in exclusive sections unique to each campaign. For example, Claire has a small scenario playing as a little girl escaping a creepy orphanage, and Leon has Ada Wong also running from Mr. X in the sewers. But, I do recommend beating both campaigns as this is how you get to see the true ending of the game. Plus, the game is so damn fun and well made, its easily worth two plays anyway.

Nearly every aspect of Resident Evil 2 is executed perfectly. From the graphics to the lighting, to the difficulty, to the strategy aspects, nearly every part of the game is a major win. Capcom did the world right with a reimagining that not only is great as a stand alone game, but is also a faithful and compelling recreation of the 1998 classic. Game studios across the world should take note on how to do survival horror well, including how to properly pay homage to a series fan favorite. Resident Evil 2 does become annoying with one or two puzzle areas, and Mr. X isn’t always a warm welcome, but with how intelligently the vast majority of the game was pulled off, it’s easy for the imperfections to sink below how awesome the rest of the game is. I can’t wait to see what Capcom does next for their Resident Evil series, whether it be a remake of Resident Evil 3, or make an entirely new entry with a Resident Evil 8. Both are exciting prospects, and I have confidence they will do it right.

9/10

[luzrof-rulay]

Tales of Berseria - Post Game Thoughts

Topics:

Introduction

Gameplay (graphics, systems, all that technical jazz)

Plot

Sidequests

Characters

Character Relationships

Music

In Relation to Tales of Zestiria

In Conclusion

  Introduction

After playing Tales of Zestiria, I found myself yearning to know more about the world’s lore – especially since we only see one continent during the game. Having heard that Tales of Berseria is set in the same world, but 1,000 years prior to the events of ToZ, of course I wanted to play it.

And last night, I after about 40 hours of gameplay, I defeated the final boss.

This will be a post much like my Post-Game Thoughts for ToZ – a collection of my thoughts immediately after finishing the game. I also tweeted a few vagueish reactions whilst playing the game, so take a look at that thread if you want to!

I’ve tried to keep this post spoiler-free where I could, but there are a couple of sections which contain spoilers - I’ve marked them with asterisks like so: *** spoilers ***. The spoilers generally come at the end of a topic section, so if you’d rather avoid spoilers, just go on to the next topic section.

For a short general review: 4/5 stars. It took me a while to get into the story, and much longer to care much about the characters (aside from one or two from ToZ bias). I’d definitely recommend playing it if you’re a Tales Of fan.

As for whether to play it before or after ToZ if you’ve not played it: if you want the story in chronological order, go for ToB first; if you want a more heart-breaking experience, play ToZ first.

(I’ll elaborate later.)

Now, onto my thoughts.

Gameplay

Okay I know I said that ToZ was beautiful when I played it, but ToB is gorgeous too. Somehow it feels like they’ve managed to smoothen the camera and the motions of the characters to look even more natural. I also loved the 3D cutscenes which showed the characters in battle – they looked fluid and realistic.

The designs for the locations didn’t fail to look amazing, either. Even though there are a few locations we already know from ToZ, they managed to show new sides of those locations, giving more insight to how they have changed over the last 1,000 years. We also got a lot more locations, in that this time the player is able to visit locations all around the world rather than just on the main continent. It made the world feel more open in some ways, though personally I felt closed in when running on the field, since the areas were made much smaller instead of being the large, open fields of ToZ (which I know a lot of people felt looked too barren and empty, but I found myself loving).

The character designs were also great, though it took me a long time to get used to Velvet’s outfit (seriously, was that the only thing she could find in the prison?). Roukurou’s in particular is a design I love because of its traditional Japanese aesthetic.

(Eizen’s design, whilst perfect for him as a pirate, has far too many references to dragons for me to not feel sad looking at him.)

In this game, they’ve changed the system so a lot of the buttons are assigned to different actions than they are in previous Tales games (on the PS4, at least). It took me a long time to get used to the menu, and any time I went back to ToZ, the change was rather jarring. Still, I enjoy the look of the menu, as well as the new menu actions we are given (though I do miss the characters doing the cooking for me).

As for the battle system, I prefer the ToZ battle system to the ToB one. I felt restricted by having artes assigned to the four buttons instead of analog stick movements, but perhaps I still need to find a way which works for me in battle. I also didn’t enjoy having some of the action buttons moved, simply because it makes switching between games more jarring. The amount of times I’ve tried to guard on ToZ and ended up armatizing instead is one thing, but they really need to find a set input for mystic artes in these games, I’m not kidding.

(Speaking of mystic artes, a certain endgame boss uses the mystic arte Savage Wolf Fury. Way to copy Yuri Lowell, lol.)

One thing I did think they did well in terms of battle was the use of break souls – I found myself using them quite often, even though I didn’t use burst artes in ToV or blast artes in ToZ. For a while I didn’t understand how to fill the blast gauge, and I still think it’s a little tedious, but mostly I’ve been avoiding battles for my first playthrough, so I suppose if I do another I’ll find more effective battle strategies.

(Speaking of battle strategies, I missed the monoliths from ToZ. Not because of the information, just finding them was fun.)

The skills system is something I didn’t put much thought to in this playthrough, mostly because this was a story playthrough which I did on the easiest difficulty. Still, it might take me a while to wrap my head around enhancing/dismantling equipment, mostly because they’ve changed it from what I’m used to.

In all honesty, the game did feel more hack-and-slash than ToZ, mostly because there weren’t quite so many puzzles. In some ways, this was good because it allowed me to power through the game quickly. Still, I felt a lot of the dungeons were less interesting than they could have been, but it makes sense considering the cast of characters presented to us – most of them would rather break down a wall than solve a puzzle to open it.

(I did really like the design of that one earth temple, though, and the water one was really interesting too, especially since it actually had a puzzle. Nothing will beat the trial shrines, though.)

Plot

Tales of Berseria is a game set 1,000 years before ToZ, following a young girl named Velvet Crowe as she sets out for revenge against the Shepherd, Artorius. Throughout her journey, more people who have a bone to pick with Artorius’ Abbey join her.

I enjoyed the plot, I guess. It was certainly an interesting concept, especially since we ended up following a character whose morals weren’t exactly those of our usual ‘pure hero’ archetype. I feel like it became more interesting as time went on and more characters were introduced. The ending, I felt was definitely more than satisfying, and I loved getting more context on some of the things which are only glossed over during ToZ. For me, the pace of the game felt good, since something was happening all the time.

A lot of my problems are with the characters, since I am of the opinion that plot is pushed on by characters and the decisions they make.

Sidequests

I didn’t do many of the sidequests, mostly because my ToZ bias made me care more for Eizen and Zaveid than any of the other characters. I did feel that the two sidequests relating to these characters which I completed – the nor dolls sidequest and the white-horned dragon sidequest – fulfilled the majority of my hopes for more information about these characters in relation to later events. I’ll talk in more specifics later on, but I loved these sidequests a lot.

  Characters

Overall, the characters in this game were certainly interesting, though most of them differed from the type of characters I enjoy in fiction media. I’ll talk a little about the main cast and some of the NPCs.

*** This section contains a lot of spoilers for ToB. ***

Velvet

Our main girl, the revenge-lustful daemon Velvet. After Artorius sacrifices her brother Laphicet, she becomes a therion and swears to have her vengeance.

And I get it, I really do. But all she does is whine.

Okay, maybe that’s not quite true. But for a lot of the game, I felt that she was kind of annoying, since all she would do was talk about wanting to get revenge and telling the others that she doesn’t care about them, so long as she gets her revenge. And it makes sense, for her character, and I see why others might like her. But personally, that kind of character just rubs me the wrong way.

Now, after the plot twist/Phi telling her to “quit whining already” (bless you Phi), she actually became a much more interesting character to me. She showed a lot more of her caring side as well as focusing on her goal, and hence felt a lot less one-sided. I admire that she doesn’t regret the consequences of her actions which lead her to becoming the Lord of Calamity, and I also admire that what she wants isn’t calamity for the world – just vengeance. It gave a much more interesting aspect to the character of a Lord of Calamity – the idea that what they want isn’t necessarily calamity for the world, but vengeance for someone doing wrong against them.

(Honestly, it makes it interesting to look at Heldalf from ToZ with this perspective.)

Her ending is one which I didn’t expect, but it makes a lot of sense.

Phi (Laphicet)

My boy!!! Protect him at all costs!!!

It might be my ToZ bias coming in again, but I have loved Phi since before I played the game. He is a sweet and pure malak who isn’t afraid to learn more and understand about the world, and the balance of light and dark within it. Hell, he helps the Lord of Calamity and genuinely cares for her.

(This boy is such a Hufflepuff.)

He legitimately cares about people and wants to make the world a better place for everyone, and he understand that the world needs to have balance between light and darkness – not just pure light, free of sins, which is what Innominat represented. Innominat felt empty because a world without sin is a dead world, and he can’t feed on emotions of people who have none. Honestly, this aspect of the plot is my favourite, because it’s so interesting to see how these characters feel the world ought to be.

Phi is such a great character, and I love that as he gains his own free will and learns how to be alive, he is able to stand up for himself and not be the pushover that he seems to be from appearance alone.

(Thinking about his future makes my heart hurt, but that didn’t stop me from giving him the bookworm Sorey attachment. For reasons.)

Roukurou Rangestu

For a while, I didn’t care that much about Roukurou’s story, but by the end of it, I really loved it. As a character, he is super interesting – calm and chill and laid-back, but able to get fired up and angry and filled with the desire to kill his brother. He doesn’t care that he is a daemon – it’s just who he is, and I love that.

I love his traditional Japanese aesthetic, as I mentioned before. I love that it extends past his appearance into his fighting style and even the food and drink he enjoys.

Magilou

I didn’t expect to love Magilou as much as I do, and yet here I am. She’s a super interesting and fun character, even more so once you consider her backstory and future. If you played ToZ before ToB, like I did, then her real surname might make you understand her motives a little more, because I felt like it did for me.

Eleanor Hume

I actually enjoyed Eleanor’s character a lot more than I thought I might, and I think that’s because I understand her viewpoint more than most of the main cast’s. Rather than seeking vengeance, she wants purity and peace for the world, but soon figures out that the Shepherd Artorius who she once followed has ideals which she does not agree with after spending time alongside daemons and malakhim.

Her development makes her character feel a lot more fleshed out and interesting, and her backstory makes it clear why she wants what she does.

Eizen

I saved him for last of the main party because I know I’m going to ramble a bit here. Apologies in advance.

I love Eizen so much???? Like I knew I’d like him because I’ve played ToZ and I love Edna but oh my god I love Eizen.

To start with, his Reaper’s Curse is something I found super interesting. I already knew from ToZ that it’s possible for seraphim/malakhim to have a curse instead of a blessing, but for some reason I really didn’t expect it with Eizen. It makes a really nice contrast to Edna, who mentions in a skit in ToZ that she has strangely good luck. Seriously, siblings with contrasting blessings? I’m in love.

(You would think they would cancel each other out, but I suppose Edna’s good luck is that she survived all the shit that happened to her when Eizen was around lol.)

I also love Eizen’s personality so much. He’s similar to Edna in some ways – stubborn and wayward and never straightforward about his personal emotions. Still, he geeks out about things like a typical middle aged man would about a car (fujibayashi’s rod, anyone?). I love that he has so many interests and so much knowledge… knowledge which ends up being outdated or wrong half the time lol.

(I finally understand that one ToZ skit (‘Edna talks about her brother’) where Rose asks if Eizen was like Sorey and Edna says “Maybe.” They’re both as adventure-crazy and interested in ancient artefacts as each other.)

And then there’s his fate – the malevolence he takes in from Theodora which will eventually turn him into a dragon. Since I’ve already played ToZ, I knew this would happen, which makes it all the more heart-breaking knowing exactly how that’s going to play out.

Zaveid

I had to talk about Zaveid here okay he’s half the reason I played this game in the first place.

Zaveid.

Who hurt you?

(That’s what we find out through his ToB sidequest lol.)

I had already heard that his character is a little different in ToB because some stuff happens to him, but I never expected it to hurt this much. He was so happy? Finally free of being a slave? Happy to just go around fighting but never killing? Checking in on a little family he cares about? Probably hoping to start his own one day?

I feel so bad for Zaveid. So, so bad. I love him so much. He has been through so much but I understand now why he is the way he is in ToZ. They really did a good job of filling up the holes in his development, because I remember after finishing ToZ the first time that I wished I knew more about Zaveid. Now I do, and I understand him better for it.

Others

Artorius was a really interesting villain. It was nice to see a Shepherd who had fallen so much, who had lost hope in humanity to the degree that he felt that taking away the emotions which create humanity was the only way to save it. His final scene is actually heart-wrenching.

The other side characters are all also really interesting, for the most part, and I felt they got good amounts of development.

(What I didn’t enjoy was Kamoana. I liked her story, but her English VA put me off her so much for some reason. Her voice grates on me so much.)

  Character Relationships

I’m not going to talk too much about this, because there isn’t much to say. In this game, however, the relationships between the main cast feel so much less like the ‘found family’ we get in ToZ. It’s definitely a ‘selfish co-dependence’ or whatever they call it. They use each other for their own ends, and sure they care about each other to an extent, but they are mostly self-focused, in my opinion.

Perhaps, in a second playthrough, I’ll have more appreciation for the relationships between these main characters.

  Music

If you’ve seen my ToZ Thoughts post, then you know I’m a massive music nerd. One of the things I love most about video games is the soundtracks.

Tales of Berseria’s soundtrack isn’t really all that striking, in my opinion. Sure, the music is good – I’m listening to the soundtrack as I write this post – but none of it is particularly stand-out amazing. I can’t really pick out a theme which I love above all, because none of them struck me all that much. I’m actually a little disappointed in how lacking this game is in the music department.

That having been said, a few of the tracks from ToZ have been re-used for this game, so I’m not complaining. I loved that they kept ‘Zaveid the Exile’, and the fact that they used the slow, calm part for the battle against the dragon gave me chills which I haven’t experienced since ‘The Full Moon and the Morning Star’ in the battle on the Zaphias Sword Stair in ToV.

I did enjoy a couple of the battle and area themes, and the music which plays in the two elemental shrines we visit (the water one’s called Palamides but I forget the earth one’s name) was beautiful. There were also arrangements of other themes mixed in there, but once again, none of them struck me very much.

The opening theme – Burn by FLOW – is one which, I’ll admit, I love a lot. Both this game and TOZX have introduced me to FLOW’s music, and Burn and Kaze no Uta have become two of my favourite songs. The part in Burn where the strings fade out and we get a guitar riff is honestly my favourite thing. Whilst I prefer White Light from ToZ, I still loved Burn as an opening.

  In Relation to Tales of Zestiria

This section is basically an excuse for me to rave about the connections between Berseria and Zestiria, and why those connections made the game more enjoyable for me as a whole. This does in fact mean it requires the following warning:

*** Major spoilers for Tales of Berseria and Tales of Zestiria follow. ***

I’ve already said that I played ToB because of its connection to ToZ. This meant that, when playing ToB, all the connections really meant a lot to me as a fan.

The most obvious thing to start with, I suppose, would be the world and its locations. Seeing towns and fields which I recognised and could place geographically from where they are in the future gave me a lot of joy, and I love that I now understand how Glenwood becomes how it is in the future, geographically speaking. I actually edited the map of Glenwood on top of the map of ‘Wasteland’ (that’s apparently the ToB world’s name) and marked where the locations in ToZ are in relation to those in ToB, and it definitely helped a lot.

Below are two images of that map, so you can also see how things have changed. It’s interesting to see how little the main continent actually changed, save perhaps for the drying up of a couple of areas which were once seas/lakes. I’m convinced that some if the islands surrounding the continent definitely shift to make some of the features present in modern-day Glenwood’s map, such as a couple of islands in the north. I also think perhaps Eastgand moved towards Midgand, but I’m not entirely sure.

Credit for the maps: Glenwood | Wasteland

Another thing which becomes clear thanks to ToB is how the situation of the world in terms of malevolence and shepherds comes to be in ToZ. That is mostly thanks to the fact that we learn of Maotelus’ origins, and by linking that up with what we know of him from the iris gems, we can see that once he became the Fifth Empyrean, he spread his flames of purification across the world and became the prime lord for shepherds who would swear to purify the malevolence in the world whilst allowing people to live and have a second chance at life.

Maotelus obviously stays as the prime lord for all these shepherds until a calamity 200 years before ToZ, which is when we hear of the last known shepherd having lived. After that point, I assume the belief that people had in Maotelus fell, and he continued to give his blessing to the continent until 20 years before ToZ, when the Age of Chaos began, and the malevolent Maotelus is bound to Heldalf, the Lord of Calamity of the time. Lailah, not wanting there to be no chance of there being a new shepherd, takes the oath in order to gain the powers of purification, and is unable to speak about the events surrounding Maotelus due to this.

I feel like this explains why Zaveid, in ToZ, says he has a score to settle with Maotelus – because he knew Phi, however briefly, and obviously he had heard that Phi became Maotelus, the new Fifth Empyrean. When Maotelus suddenly disappeared, Zaveid must have thought that he gave up on purifying the world, or something similar. That’s why he has a score to settle with him – the Phi he met would not give up as easily as this.

Maotelus managed to hold out against malevolence for probably 200 years as people stopped sending prayers to him. He did not give up easily, but was forced to, once people desecrated his shrine.

This means, ultimately, that Lailah is most likely the only one aside from Mayvin and the survivors of Camlann who knows what actually happened back then. Zaveid learns the truth at the same time as everyone else – the only help he had was having known Maotelus back when he was Phi.

There is so much more about the connections between ToB and ToZ that I could rave on about, but these were the main two which relate directly to my understanding of the world which I haven’t already spoken about in non-spoilery detail.

(I’m thinking of saving discussion of Zaveid’s backstory and Eizen and Edna for some meta posts I’ve been planning. Feel free to yell with me about them in my ask box though!)

  In Conclusion

I liked Tales of Berseria, but had I not played Tales of Zestiria beforehand, I don’t think I would have been so invested in it as I ended up being, because I had already fallen in love with what I knew of the world in ToZ, and what I loved most about ToB were the connections to that world. Really, I can see now why I relate with Sorey and Mikleo so much – because it’s the history and the lore of the world, and the backstories of the characters I already knew from the future, which made this game as enjoyable to me as it was.

I enjoyed playing the game, and I’m glad that I did experience it for myself. However, Tales of Zestiria will always be the game which I prefer in this universe.

That isn’t to say that it might not be different for you, if you’ve not read it, though. Playing both games is really useful if you want to understand the world a lot better, even if you play ToB first – playing ToZ afterwards gives you an idea of how the world has changed for the better, as well as how one or two of the characters are doing. I definitely recommend playing or watching both games, if you can.

Now we’ve reached the end of this post, I’d like to thank you for reading it! If you want to discuss anything with me, please feel free, because I love this universe and would love to share thoughts and opinions on it!

[aurimeanswind]

Switch It Up—Sunday Chats (2-26-17)

February has really flown by huh? This second month of the year has drawn to a close, and with it my life has irrevocably changed, I’ve got a ton going on and a ton more to get done, and we are a mere five days away from a console launch.

So uh, let’s get started then, huh?

GUESTPERTS

First up, I’ll be on a LIVE podcast tonight, so it is definitely time to devote a little attention to that. It’s called The Power Switch, which adds just another beautiful layer to the title of this week’s Sunday Chats (almost like a certain fantastic teen drama that I do a podcast on). The show is hosted by Peter Spezia, a long-time podcaster and was the host of the first video games podcast I ever listened to, Show Me Your News! I’m very excited to have been invited on, especially as the first guest host, so it’ll be one to listen to.

If you’re checking this out before it’s live, you can call in via Discord!

rhymeswithasia.com/call

If you miss it, you can always find the show on iTunes or the website after the fact, so don’t sweat it!

http://rhymeswithasia.com/topic/the-powerswitch/

My Brother, My Brother and Me

The MBMBaM show went live this week over on Seeso.com! For those who don’t know, the McElroy brothers have been doing this podcast for seven years. It actually started three months before Irrational Passions Podcast, so the show holds a special place in my heart as a show I’ve been listening to for as long as I’ve been doing my very own show. It’s one of my favorite podcasts ever, probably my all time favorite non-gaming show, and second only ever to The GiantBombcast otherwise. 

They did a show this week, and it honestly blew me away. I’ve been thinking about doing a full written post on my blog about it, but the final scene of the show is this incredibly genuine, heartfelt moment from oldest brother Justin McElroy, who I’ve been lucky enough to meet a handful of times, is someone I look up to in the games industry, and it’s a just such a sweet realization of all the things this show means to me. It is as much about funny goofs and good times as it is about the true love between three brothers, and it honest to god blew me away. I know I said that twice in this paragraph, so as a writer, it’s indicative of how speechless I was at the end of the experience. It’s well worth the four dollars for a month of Seeso just to see the show, especially if you’re a fan of MBMBaM. If you’re outside the US, I am dearly sorry. Hopefully you’ll be able to see it soon!

What’s on Tap

Tales of Berseria

FINISHED. I am finalizing my review sometime this coming week.

Overall: fantastic. Weird how there are some unpolished parts of it, but they by no means hinder the experience I had.

Heartfelt, smart, genuine, and hokey, all at the same time, Berseria has a great message and is a truly excellent complement to Tales of Zestiria. It makes me wish that other game was better, but regardless, Berseria stands tall and proud as a remarkable achievement in a franchise that desperately needed it.

Nioh

Gah. I wish I loved Nioh more!

Don’t get me wrong, Nioh is great, but it’s issues, or at least the issues I’ve run into while playing it, are really starting to wear on me.

I find myself far more frustrated with Nioh, and though I can’t quite put it into words, I can describe my experiences to you.

One: there is this boss that sucks. It has a laser beam that literally did over 800 damage more than my max health, and I was considerably over leveled for this particular level. Many times, when entering the boss’s arena, it’d just immediately just start charging this laser beam attack, and half of my total deaths (or probably more) were just to this dumb fucking attack. I commented out loud, frequently, “oh hey I like how fun and great this is”.

Two: I find myself dying before I can even begin using my health options. I feel like I don’t even have time to use my resources, because the game trivializes either my health, my abilities, or my stamina before healing or items even come into the picture. I feel helpless in the least productive way.

Three: the game begs for comparison to Dark Souls. I’ve avoided it so far, but when almost every aspect of what you’re doing is very much a reflection of a series that I think just does those things differently or better, it’s hard to not bring it up. You take and take form another series, so I don’t think it’s unfair to judge what you accomplish to that series, even if what you bring to the table is great in some cases. But I’m conflicted, as a critic and a reviewer.

We’ll see where I end up, and I know much of what I’m saying here (if not all of it) is mostly negative, but I swear I do enjoy the game, and for the most part have a good time with it.

I think that’s all I got... Onto the questions!

Questions

Please god I have so much work to do you guys no. There is so much to see and do at PAX Kaylie! Go see and do it!

GUYS. I’M NOT THAT INTERESTING

I HAVE PREVIEWS TO WRITE.

PLEASE.

So I think a big part of context is the piece you (Logan) wrote today in your Sunday Wrap Up, which I will link to... HERE:

http://www.leftyloggy.com/blog/2017/2/26/sunday-wrap-up-february-26th-2017

So some discussion was happening about this in the Irrational Passions Podcast live chat last night too. To summarize quickly, Logan was very off put by Zelda 1, and discussed the evolution of narrative and gameplay. It seems, going off your piece today Logan, that you’ve warmed to the game a bit. You’ve also been using a guide for it.

So Zelda is one of my favorite franchises, second only to Persona. I have played and completed every game in that series, save for Zelda 2, so of course it holds a special place in my heart. I don’t want to put you on blast Logan, but I do want to full answer your questions, with context given.

I read what you wrote and I genuinely believe you’re not giving Zelda 1 enough credit. That game is brilliantly smart, and you speak to many examples of the game being too “convoluted” but reading your thoughts it really reads to me as someone who doesn’t like this kind of game, because I can name plenty of games that tread similar water, and still don’t execute on it as well as Zelda 1 does.

I have played and finished the game. I mostly used a guide, just because I was much younger, and I knew that would lead me to frustration, but I also knew I had to appreciate it. I like the more grand-sweeping, narrative driven A Link to the Past, but Zelda 1 is so cool. That game really rewards exploration. I know it doesn't seem like it, but there are people in dungeons that give you hints on how to find the next dungeon, as well as scattered caves that are alluded to in obtuse text. It’s by no means “convoluted”, but I just think that’s the wrong word to use when describing it. Obscure, or obtuse, may be more accurate.

But by playing with a guide, you lose the significance of having to find these shopkeepers and old men who give you cryptic hints.

The game rewards exploration. It’s a world that simply exists, and much like I said about the turn in mystery Alex Talks, there is just genuine experimentation that goes into finding those secrets. You talk about how silly you found it to be to bomb some seemingly random wall only to find some hidden cave and item behind it, but also many of these things aren’t necessary to do, and when they are, there is someone out there in the world that will tell you to do it.

It was very much of a different era, and how well it has aged is exceptionally dependent on what kind of gamer you are. Modern gamers and players are far, far too impatient for this game. As someone who talks of jumping into gaming a the N64 era, there was a lot of directional hints learned around that point in time that lead you to have that kind of expectation. Truthfully, many NES games are like Zelda because  of Zelda, and its one of few games in that entire franchise that really adventures. 

To close, I don’t have a ton of love for the game myself, but I think I’d like it a lot more today, and it is an exceptionally important video game. Think of save states, save files, persistent worlds, and exploration in those worlds. Zelda, in many cases, did it first. Even the first Metroid game didn’t have the consistency that Zelda 1 did.

You by no means need to like it, but I think to ignore it’s triumphs and accomplishments without full understanding it would be misplaced. It’s a game that I don’t think is for everyone, but is still critically important. Play it, finish it, as I know you are, because when you play A Link to the Past, a far better game in my opinion, it’s gonna fucking blow your mind.

SO PUMPED YOOOOOOO

I’m more excited for Zelda now, but after hearing my boys Greg Miller and Colin Moriarty talk about it, I can’t wait for it to show up on Tuesday. Look out for that launch stream on Twitch.tv/IrrationalPassions!

Attachment rate? It’s gotta be really high. I only know one person who is not getting Breath of the Wild with their Switch, and that person doesn’t like 3D Zelda, so that makes sense.

Overall, it is the system seller, and I’d bet the attachment rate would be around 70%-ish. I say that, just because I know some people will just be getting the hardware because of budgetary reasons, and that number is always higher than I expect.

I still have not! I feel bad because I always try whatever dumb shit Taco Bell puts out. But we’ll see. Every time I go back to Taco Bell now I just feel like garbage because there was enough time between when I last went and now that I have stopped liking their food as much. :/

SO PUMPED. Brining a writing team in 2014 was the absolute highlight. So stoked to be able to do that again, because I honestly never thought I would. It’s gonna be a blast.

As for tagging along, apparently everyone wants to follow me around at PAX East? I honestly prefer to be alone on the floor for the most part, but I’m sure there will be much time to spend in the press room discussing things and writing previews. Hit me up. Let’s make some #content.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

L-O-L

LOOLOLOLOL

I don’t know. It’s honestly more swallowable with Nintendo because the Switch is a cheaper price going in at $300 than the $400/500 of the PS4 and Xbox One, but I’m sure saying that people will think i’m fucking crazy.

It’s definitely possible, but I still think that leads too hard into Nintendo looking at their competition and going off of what they’re doing, something Nintendo has very much never done. So probably not.

I still believe in my handheld-only version of the Switch that comes out in a year or two. A smaller, resigned version of the same hardware just cheaper and with a better battery life. Maybe it uses smaller Joycon too. Who knows. We’ll have to wait and see.

Shoutouts

Hey shoutouts to the Adventure Mode guys for having me on their show. It was a ton of fun, and hopefully Dustin and Brandon will have me back on to their show for a full podcast. Check out the latest episode on their site:

http://www.handsomephantom.com

Okay, that’s all I got. I’m drinking beer and gearing up for one helluva podcast with Peter Spezia, so have a good week, play some games, get your switch on and as always...

keep it real.

[casualarsonist]

The Division review (PC)

Jesus Christ Ubisoft, you really can’t help but kick yourself in the dick, can you? Is it...is it something sexual? I mean, I’m not going to judge you, but it kinda feels like there’s something else going on here. 

<Ubisoft executive masturbates aggressively>

Let’s look at the facts - you put out Watch Dogs and you lied about a whole bunch of shit in the marketing. Then the game comes out and it’s absolutely savaged by the press and public alike because the reality of the game is far from the false hype you built around it. But the interesting thing is that it’s not a bad game, not by a long stretch. It’s a fun third-person shooter with a massive open world and a deep attention to detail, entertaining mechanics (even if it does have a bit of your mindless collecting bullshit scattered around), and some top-notch production values. But you couldn’t have the public believe you were simply releasing a release a ‘good’ game, could you? No, you had to make them believe that you were releasing the BEST game, all the while knowing that the final product wouldn’t meet the promises you’d made. 

I mean, you don’t have to do much to impress us anymore. 

Why did you do that, Ubisoft? Had your CEO made certain commitments to the shareholders about pre-orders and day one sales figures? I genuinely can’t fathom why you would make such terrible, terrible marketing decisions when you had to know that there was going to be blowback - you had to know because you had been there before, hadn’t. Which brings me to the pertinent point: if your methods failed you multiple times before, why did you do it AGAIN?

Because here is The Division - a fun third-person shooter with a massive open world and a deep attention to detail, entertaining mechanics (even if it does have a bit of your mindless collecting bullshit scattered around), and some top-notch production values, and once again you lied about it in the marketing. And once again, when it was released, the game became a pariah - not because it wasn’t a good product, but because you fucked it over before it was even released. It didn’t stand a chance really, not with your ridiculous schemes to deceive the public with an almost sociopathic level of denial and self-delusion. What is it that the villain in one of your own games said about the definition of insanity?

Pictured: Ubisoft.

The Division came out TWO YEARS after Watch Dogs. And you learned nothing. People should have been fired over this. Many high-ranking people should have been fired. 

God damn you, Ubisoft. 

The Division is a third-person sort-of-MMO set in a dystopic near-future New York City. You play a nameless and voiceless agent of The Division - a top secret unit of sleeper agents brought in when the shit well and truly hits the fan. And it has, because NYC has been decimated by a deadly man-made virus transmitted via banknotes on Black Friday. The city itself has been left near deserted but for the scant few civilians who were trapped inside the quarantine, members of the Joint Task Force, and roving bands of gangs and private military soldiers that rob and kill on-sight. Your mission is to do what the normies can’t, venturing into dangerous enemy lairs to procure people, intelligence, or simply the corpses of notorious trouble-makers. 

The city is mapped, as far as I can tell, to a nearly 1:1 scale. The level of detail and effort put into the design is unprecedented; I can honestly say that I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. From the buildings that are meticulously designed inside and out, to the changing weather effects that completely alter the atmosphere of the city, to the destruction, decay, and seasonal decorations littering every single street and alley, it’s almost inconceivable the years of work that must have gone into the production of this.

<I masturbate aggressively>

The enemy leveling is handled intelligently and in such a way that a challenge always remains present, and wandering into a pack of gun-toting psychopaths can and will get you killed most of the time. It keeps you on your toes, and keeps the threat of the city real. The loot system is excellent too, and you’ll find that loot drops just rarely enough for it to feel like a real reward, yet frequently enough for you to always have something to sell or disassemble. 

And while MMOs can often be troublingly unbalanced, rewarding griefers, or forcing you into playing with people who rush the objectives and leave you behind, The Division’s multiplayer elements are not so. For the most part the game is perfectly enjoyable as a single-player-only experience as the difficulty of the main missions can be adjusted to suit those that just want to get through them as well as those that want a real challenge, whilst the base difficulty of the general encounters around the city is just high enough to keep a lone player engaged and excited. You can join other human players at any point, if you so choose, and if you do the game encourages co-operation and teamwork for the most part by carefully and astutely balancing the damage taken and dealt by enemies, making for a challenging and fun multiplayer experience, and punishing players that try to rush ahead by hammering them into the ground. 

The only time in which PvP is forced upon the player is the Dark Zone: a no-man’s-land located in the centre of Manhattan, and cordoned off from the rest of the island by towering walls. The Dark Zone is an anything-goes environment filled with the best loot in the game, difficult computer-controlled NPCs, and (on weekends) human players looking to score some sweet treasure. You can be attacked by humans only if you’re carrying loot yourself, and can traverse the area safely (at least safe from human players) by simply walking around empty handed. However, if you do collect some gear, you can only take it out of the Dark Zone by initiating a timed helicopter extraction at a few select areas of the map. During the two and a half minutes the extraction takes you will often be assaulted by computer controlled enemies, although players in your sector can also see that the extraction is taking place and can either come along and send their gear up as well, or, more commonly, try to kill you and jack your stuff. 

Pictured: How not to be a little bitch.

It is this latter behaviour that has garnered the Dark Zone an infamous reputation - one reviewer called it a ‘failed experiment’. But after enough time playing in the area, you begin to understand the psychology that may drive a lot of this behaviour. The smartest players will always travel in the Dark Zone in groups of two or more as it always pays to have backup on hand, but this doesn’t stop the odd stray player from trying to kill and rob you both. The freedom of the area allows all kinds of behaviour, and those feeling cocky or perhaps even just wanting to experiment with the game’s mechanics can often try to take you down just to see if they can get away with it. And once that’s happened to you a few times, you will begin to learn that in some situations it’s better just to shoot first and ask questions later rather than tolerate a bunch of interlopers that will likely end up shooting you in the back when they have the chance. 

Pictured: Other players in the Dark Zone

Mutually Assured Dickishness doesn’t exactly give the game a pass from all accusations of toxicity, but the roguish nature of the Dark Zone fits perfectly with its narrative context and allows for some incredibly tense and memorable gameplay moments, like the time that a player dozens of levels higher than the area catered to ran rampant, killing everyone on sight and taking what could only be worthless loot for himself. My teammate and I were hunted through the streets as we tried to flee this terrorist, hiding behind cars and in alcoves just praying that he would pass us unknowingly. Or the time that I came across two players who let me attach my gear to their extraction, seemingly uncertain if I had any friends, before attempting to take it when they realised I was alone. I waited around a corner and watched them warily, and once they did try to swipe my stuff I gunned one down before I was killed myself, but not before my gear had been extracted. I came across the same two players at a later time as they rounded a corner to find me standing there with my weapon raised. Knowing that I had outmatched one of them earlier we stood there in a tense stand off before I managed to flee unharmed. Yes, it is more lucrative to venture into the Dark Zone when others aren’t around, but there’s a certain tension that comes with never knowing when you might come across another player, and never knowing if they’re going to be friendly or not, that lends a wonderful sense of threat and challenge to the situation, and makes escaping with loot all the more rewarding.

While the DLC isn’t anything to write home about, the handling of the end-game content is enough to keep me going for at least another dozen more. Beyond the maximum player level the difficulty balances out to a more manageable degree, and the pursuit of the highest ‘gear score’, i.e. a score that denotes the level of quality gear you have equipped, becomes a customisation goal. This gear score is visible to other players, and becomes a good way of judging a threat in the Dark Zone; my gear score is likely the reason I escaped a confrontation unscathed on more than one occasion. The idea that you can intimidate Dark Zone players into not attacking is great, especially when that experience is balanced against memories of being walked over by jerks. And as the Dark Zone inevitably becomes one of the last unexplored areas of the game, the desire to level this gear score up becomes a deeply motivating thing. But even if you don’t wish to indulge that area of the Divison, there are still dozens of hours to devote elsewhere. I mean, I’m 40 hours into a game that I bought for ten pounds and I don’t want to stop, and I think that’s a damn good bargain. The player count isn’t as high as I would sometimes like it to be, especially when I’m trying to get through story missions on a really high difficulty and no-one is responding to my matchmaking calls, but it’s still alive enough to satisfy most social desires. 

Which is why it’s such a shame that Ubisoft do their utter damnedest to shoot themselves in the foot when it comes to marketing their games. The company and its leadership have lost themselves inside a world of meaningless expectations and promises, and long ago lost sight of what really matters to consumers. The bar isn’t set as high as they think it is, and endevouring to make the world think that they’re a bunch of shithead liars is counterproductive, especially when The Division is a standout in a number of ways. In fact, most of their games far exceed the expectations I have of them after the community savages them post-release. Ubisoft can make good games. I just wished they could come back down to earth and trust that we’ll see that. 

8/10

Very Good

[operationrainfall]

Title KUNAI Developer TurtleBlaze Publisher The Arcade Crew Release Date February 6th, 2020 Genre Metroidvania Platform PC, Nintendo Switch Age Rating E for Everyone 10+ – Mild Blood, Fantasy Violence Official Website

I should point out that until I played KUNAI, I was totally unfamiliar with developer TurtleBlaze. Thankfully, I had some experience with The Arcade Crew, thanks to their also publishing the fantastic Blazing Chrome, by JoyMasher. All I knew early on was KUNAI is a game where you control a ninja tablet (no, you didn’t just suffer a stroke, that’s the actual premise) as he hacks and slashes his way through robot hordes with his magical energy stealing katana. That alone was enough to grab my interest, but when I learned that the game was also a Metroidvania, I was hooked. So I greatly appreciated the opportunity to review KUNAI for oprainfall. The question then is, was KUNAI able to live up to my hype for the game?

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The premise of the game is loosely based around some sort of undefined apocalypse that wracked the Earth, killing nearly all the humans. In the interim, apparently a bunch of robots achieved sentience and started spreading out, with some aiming to wrest control and others retaliating as a ragtag group of freedom fighters. You play the heroic ninja Tabby, who is activated by the resistance to set things straight. There’s also an evil A.I. referred to as Lemonkus which is apparently responsible for this scenario, and while you do learn more about them, I never learned enough for my satisfaction. There’s a cool concept here, but there’s too many opaque bits that prevent the story from being fully realized. For example, who built all of the robots? What endowed them with sentience? How exactly did humanity perish? Where did the sword that steals life force come from? Which ancient warrior is Tabby supposedly infused with? There’s a lot of questions, even after beating the game. Which isn’t to say it’s not fun and there’s not plenty to enjoy, there absolutely is, but in a game that is so mechanically fantastic, the overall lack of a coherent plot stands out all the more painfully.

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However, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s focus on what KUNAI does best – the gameplay. Early on you only have access to your katana, which is not only your primary means of offense, but also your only way of healing other than using save points. Every time you slay a foe, you’ll get a little bit of health back. Soon enough, you also come across a pair of the titular kunai with chains, which allow Tabby to swing from the ceiling and climb walls. They’re a lot of fun to experiment with, and allow you a wide movement range. Just keep in mind not all surfaces can be grabbed, usually ones that are coated with metal plates. You would be forgiven for thinking that’s all the tools at your disposal, but as the game progresses you get a lot of other nifty items. None that ever totally eclipses the effectiveness of the kunai, but many that do open up the experience. For example, you’ll get a shuriken that can trigger switches and stun foes, as well as a few guns that serve multiple functions. Take the dual SMGS, which can obviously be used to unload on foes from a distance, but can also be aimed downwards to essentially hover as you blast a stream of bullets below yourself (which is awesome). You’ll also get a very powerful rocket launcher that can scatter foes to dust or be used to catapult you vertically into the air.

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Point being, everything in KUNAI has a variety of uses, and manages to make the experience more compelling. And that’s before you even take into account the upgrades you can purchase from the Tabos, accessible from old school routers littered throughout the game world. You can not only upgrade Tabby’s weapons, such as giving his katana a powerful charge attack or turning your rocket launcher rounds into homing missiles, but you can get important passive upgrades. Perhaps the most important is the one that lets Tabby slowly heal continuously, which is vital when you’re low on health, since the game never provides any disposable healing items. Generally I would clear out a room and then just take a breather for Tabby to heal back to full health. I really liked being given free reign which abilities I upgraded first, and my only real complaint is that there weren’t even more options, since I had pretty much maxed them out a while before the final boss. Which correlates to my only other major complaint about KUNAI – it’s too short.

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KUNAI is very fun while it lasts, exploring, regularly finding upgrades like double jump and dash, slaying enemies and fighting powerful bosses. Some of my favorite bosses were Furious Ferro, a giant gooey creature that crawled the walls and scattered minions on the floor, and the Guardian, which starts in a giant cocoon and then erupts into a dangerous electric butterfly. It’s also entertaining to talk to random NPCs as you wander, since they often have very funny dialogue that pokes fun at other popular nerd culture, such as Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon, various anime and even a well known game store franchise. It’s clear the folks at TurtleBlaze not only love game culture, they love to poke fun at it as well, but never in a way that felt cruel or derogatory. Suffice to say, even though the plot of the game left me underwhelmed, the dialogue and humor were much better than I expected.

Exploring the various areas is a treat, and very rarely was frustrating. They range from deserts to lava filled mineshafts and haunted factories. There’s a fluidity to the combat that just made KUNAI a step above many others in the genre. I loved swinging around, jumping and slashing foes, and even blasting them to smithereens when I got testy. There’s also tons of hidden corners in the game, where you’ll find one of two items. Either you’ll find heart pieces which extend your maximum health (always handy) or you’ll find hats. And surprisingly, you’ll find a lot more hats than anything else. And while it’s fun to dress Tabby up with monocles and horned hoods and even plumber hats, sadly none of these serve any gameplay purpose. Once I discovered that, my desire to find them all withered away. If only the various hats would change up the combat or alter my stats in some significant way, I would have gone out of my way to discover all of them. As it is, I found hats a silly bonus without much function. Oh and apparently there’s also a hidden Time Trial mode in the game, but I couldn’t find it. And given that I hate feeling rushed when I play a game and don’t focus on speedrunning anyhow, that just didn’t provide me much incentive or replay value.

Ultimately, that’s where KUNAI fell short, the length. The whole experience is pretty linear, and though you are given some free reign to explore, there’s nothing really important for you to find. I managed to beat the game in 6 hours, which is 2 less than the developers said the adventure will take most people. If there had been more than one ending or a couple hidden areas or even a boss rush, I would have felt more satisfied. But without them, the game is just over way too soon. It’s a blast to play, and runs silky smooth, but once it’s over, it’s over.

Visually, KUNAI is a treat. It’s colorful without being too flashy, and managed to evoke classic games while still feeling modern. I loved all the silly faces that Tabby wears as you experience the game, and especially enjoyed the hand drawn cutscenes and sub item introductions. The various minor enemies were pretty distinct and varied, and there were none that were clones. Likewise, the bosses are all very different and quite a challenge to best. This is a game that makes great use of visual clues and storytelling, such as how Tabby’s face flashes red with a battery symbol when low on health. Musically, the games is frenetic and fun, and manages to infuse just enough ninja flair to keep things fresh. I also really loved all the mechanical beeps and boops and explosions for sound effects. I really had no complaints about the design of KUNAI whatsoever.

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Now, even though I’ve touched upon the major issues with the game, the following is an assortment of minor quibbles that also kept this from being a perfect experience. While the game is a lot of fun, sometimes things aren’t as well balanced as they could be. An example is how one of the early areas, an airship, has a forced sequence requiring kunai swinging over instant death pits that felt way too challenging that early in the game. I also found how Tabby “climbs” vines incredibly awkward. Instead of climbing up and down, he kind of floats and you have to hold down to force him back to earth. And though I very much enjoyed the katana charge attack technique, which lets Tabby charge up and then rush all nearby foes with a flurry of katana strikes, it was very hard to tell at what range it would react to foes. One time it even glitched and managed to push Tabby into the background in the Mine area, forcing me to restart since I couldn’t get free. Another issue was that there weren’t really enough bosses in the game. There’s a hilarious pirate captain I thought would be a boss which instead is turned into comic relief twice, and there’s a long section where you escape from the police (dubbed Popo), but can’t actually fight back. And though the final boss was epic, it was also frustrating, and made me wish I had some way to heal quickly during fights.

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In summation, I still rather enjoyed KUNAI. I just wish it was a longer experience with a more coherent plot. That said, there’s tons of charm and humor here, and plenty of challenging and satisfying gameplay. Honestly, it’s hard to go wrong for only $16.99. I admire TurtleBlaze for this first Metroidvania, and even though it’s not perfect, I think it could be the starting point to many other tremendous projects. If you’re a fan of the genre, I’d say you owe it to yourself to pick this up.

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[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”3.5″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: KUNAI Title KUNAI

[zydrateacademy]

Review - Monster Hunter World (PC)

This review contains spoilers. The benefit of playing a port months after the game initially hits consoles is that there are a host of guides available, which I recommend if you want to take this game moderately seriously (bit of an oxymoron there but bear with me). I don’t typically like games that require you to have extra study material to understand but to its credit, all I had to do was watch one video guide about the mechanics of my favored weapon, the Light Bowgun. After which I was probably fifty percent better every hunt after that. So I certainly recommend looking into that.

The story begins with your highly customize-able character on a ship to a ‘new world’, previously undiscovered in other games of the franchise. Your ship gets waylaid by a mountainous “Elder Dragon” who came up from sea. His back is full of magma and volcanic spouts and you climb his back in order to escape. Once you’re in safety, you find out he’s one of many that have migrated to this place for mysterious reasons. Typically one every few hundred years, now it’s one every decade and that has caused some turmoil in the ecosystem. Your job is essentially research. Kill monsters, stabilize the ecosystem, and arm yourself while doing so.

Eventually there is an extended epilogue. Once you discover that Elder’s goal and what it might mean, you enter a “High rank” hunt mechanic because the ecosystem has changed and you react accordingly. Monsters in these quests are tougher and more aggressive, and you continually work your way up.

This review may maintain some comparisons to Dauntless. As I mentioned in that very review, my only experience with MH as a franchise was during a brief road trip with my friend back in the PSP days. I have little memory of it and I doubt I was any good or understand any of the minutiae of mechanics. As such, a majority of my experience in this genre comes from Dauntless, the free-to-play variant with more dumbed down mechanics than you couldn’t shake a stick at. Veterans of MH are calling World dumbed down, ha. If only they knew how far that could actually go. My immediate first impression of MHW was actually quite positive. There’s something I can do here that I never really could at Dauntless; actually solo monsters. Dauntless was fairly unforgiving, only giving you five (count them: five) potions per hunt. You burn through those without burning the monster down properly, and you were done. Mercifully here, you not only get dozens of varying degrees of usefulness, you can also craft more on the fly or withdraw some from your loot in various camps set up around the impressively large zones. While some monsters give me more trouble than others (most flying types can do a one-two knockout by rushing me, putting me in a twelve hour stun animation, then merely swipe at me for an instant death), I’ve been in awe at what I’ve actually been able to accomplish on my own. ...And unfortunately, I am forced to do a handful of things on my own. Let me tap into some of the problems I have before diving back into the meat and mechanics of the game. Steam reviews are mixed for a couple of reasons. Bad controls and connectivity issues. The bad controls are a remnant of the fact that it was originally a PS4 game and the menus really show that. The UI itself is very controller friendly while the M/K is barely given a second thought. I had to rebind my weapon draw to left click like it is with melee because I’d find myself engaged in too many fights, frantically clicking only to find out I was actually just using my slinger and tossing useless rocks at the monster. In addition, the radial menu might as well not exist, as it is bound to your various F1-F4 keys. It’s very clunky and not at all the “quick” menu that it’s supposed to be. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing “just get a controller” from my friends. I don’t think I’ve touched a controller since 2008. Next is a problem that Capcom and Steam are already looking into. While I’ve been able to progress, just last night I lost out on three high ranked hunts because it kept dropping me from the group. From what I’ve read, the monster’s hitpoints balance towards groups (instantly doubling when a second person joins your hunt) but doesn’t at all go back down if anyone leaves. At the time I was replaying what was basically the main story’s ending, fighting the last boss over and over. Thankfully his mission doesn’t have a lot of open combat and is mostly just firing cannons and ballistae at him over and over. Still, it dropped me three times and had little to show for it overall.

There’s no direct party system, just player listings and hubs. You have to find a convoluted “Session ID” in the menus for your friends to copy and eventually join together. Someone posts a quest and everyone joins it. You won’t physically see anyone outside of a hunt unless you visit the gathering hub on top of the main town. The whole Session ID is just a pointless extra step that the likes of Capcom just love throwing in there. I am reminded of Black Desert Online. Despite being a different country, it still has the same idea behind its mechanics. One does not simply just craft or buy potions. First you have to press thirteen buttons just to get a stack of them. Then they might be put in your storage box, not personal pouch so you have to remember to take them out before your hunt. Then there’s the canteen mechanic, where you’re encourages you to eat to gain decent buffs before every hunt. Why not make that a single item you can use midhunt? Like Dauntless, pretty much every important thing in town is far apart and forces you into miniature loading screens. After every hunt you’re plopped on the bottom level but you still have to run up to the Blacksmith to fetch some upgrades. One does not simply make armor, too. In the higher levels you have to micromanage “decorations” to socket into your arms and armor to increase various passive skills. Why not just make those skills up-gradable like the armor itself? Indeed, one does not simply upgrade their armor! You have to collect “spheres” that you get from bounties and hunts in order to do so. Everything just has a pointless extra step, but I admit these are all nitpicks in what I do believe is a pretty damn good game. I have adjusted to the controls (even though it takes twelve clicks to get anywhere in the menu, but the combat is fine) and I can stomach the connectivity problems... for a time. Everything else is just a niggling annoyance that I have to deal with before I get to the real heart of the game: Expeditions and hunts. To its credit there’s a lot to do. Expeditions are the closest thing this game has to an “open world” setting. You will keep everything you acquire, gather materials and hunt the local monsters at your own leisure (though once you attack, they enter a sort of timer where they will flee the area if you fool around too much, but the mode itself will never kick you out). You can pick up quests on-site and continually remain in the zone you’ve chosen. Admittedly I haven’t explored expedition mode to a severe degree, as doing the various optional quests and bounties give me more than enough gameplay on their own. I never really need to piddle around the same zone for that long.

I mentioned earlier that I was happy that I can actually solo a handful of monsters in this game as opposed to Dauntless. There’s a lot more to that, the “simplest of MH’s” claim be damned, I embrace convenience if it comes hand in hand with actual fun. You can farm the same monster a few times but I found that the game offers you a handful of armor sets that can be crafted from bones and minerals alone. You can pick up bones from piles around every map and mine at little alcoves and continually gain materials to sets that will be perfectly passable for a time. I wore the basic “bone” armor for a while before getting into the more specialized stuff. Revered is the Anjarath, the game’s T-Rex who has a fire breath attack that will absolutely one-shot you and serves as the game’s first difficulty wall. His armor, however, gives fire resistance so if you can stomach fighting him a couple times (ideally in multiplayer), then you can likely build yourself up to handle him properly. Fun fact; I’ve yet to solo him myself. Other monsters have given players trouble that have instead given me more fun. The Radobaan for example, a sort of mid-game encounter in a zone called the Rotten Vale. It is a place where many monsters go to die and their essence feeds the Coral Highlands above it. The Radobaan covers itself in the bones of dead creatures and is thus highly armored, and you must burn through that in order to do some raw damage. I know of players who find this armor annoying but his movements are highly telegraphed and he’s a fan of stumbling himself which gives me a lot of free shots at him. So far he’s honestly been one of my favorite monsters to fight.

I did not realize this was the franchise’s first foray into big name consoles and even PC, the rest were evidently all handheld games. The intro into this hardware allows for a lot more powerful mechanics to come into play. New to the franchise, as far as I’m aware, is animal behavior. I can’t speak for the other games but I noticed a few things. There’s a turf war mechanic where two big bad monsters will encounter each other and start their own duel regardless of your presence. Each monster has its own “rating”, and I doubt a Great Jagras (the first and easiest monster) ever wins any of those.

In addition to that, I’ve found that docile animal mechanics can occasionally tip me off. You see it in a cutscene a time or two but even before my scoutflies (the game’s justification for a “go this way” mechanic) start tracking the monster, I’d be going down a path and find herbivores running the opposite direction. Sure enough, down that path was a large monster. Part of the hunt or no, animals do react accordingly. Sometimes they’ll take defensive positions as you initiate combat, or sometimes they’ll fly down and knock you over in a moment of monster camaraderie that I wish they hadn’t bothered with. Still, its moments like this that help the world feel like an actual world, appropriate for the game’s namesake. I know I droned on a bit about the problems the game had but some of them (the controls) can be mitigated. I’m enjoying myself, spending a good majority of my time responding to SOS flares or pushing myself in the high rank hunts to see what exactly I might be able to handle. I rarely push myself to see what exactly I’m capable of in gaming, but MHW pays that off so well. Maybe I can’t handle that flying Rathian on my own, but managing to take down a tunnel dwelling Diablos was a thing of beauty. The hunts can be long and exhausting but finally watching a beast get taken down after a couple of deaths can be very exciting. The genre may not be for everyone. If you’re story driven, you’ll find the one here is short and weak and mostly just serves as a framework for the gameplay. If you like content, then there’s plenty to do that should be varied enough to keep you around, and I’m sure they’ll update more monsters in as time goes on. Even after I get my fill, I’m sure I’ll keep an eye on this one.

[stack-of-shame]

Shamesplosion II: Regexance

Game #26: Legend of Kay, Neon Studios, 2005

Legend of Kay is part of a peculiar group of games from the waning years of “Character Action Games” (now known as 3D platformers). In some ways these games, including Kay, are some of the best in the genre. The industry had learned how to make controls feel good. Even more esoteric things, like combo moves, had been standardized to a degree. The camera, once nausea inducing, now seamlessly balanced between the gentle hand of the game and the user’s input. 

For all that is expert about Legend of Kay, it flies a bit too high. The cutscenes and conversations over-rely on generic, canned animations. I believe that all the voice talent in Legend of Kay were fine actors, but, searching the game’s credits, there was not a dedicated voice over director. As such the voice performances as a whole leave something to be desired. 

Why am I picking these nits? Because cutscenes demand a certain quality to justify their presence in a game. Unless they are very good, they drag the experience down. I think I’d have enjoyed Kay more if the conversations had been presented only as text. I don’t say that to be cruel, I honestly believe that the atmosphere would have been easier to establish. 

Game #27: Quadrilateral Cowboy, Blendo Games, 2016

Quadrilateral Cowboy vs. Jazzpunk is an amazing case study in game audio

Largely because, given access only to the visual elements of both games, you could easily be forgiven for confusing the two.

Both have an aesthetic that blends minimalist geometry and a honey-mustard color-sheme with 80s cyberpunk, both feature a main character who is sent on various "jobs" which involve traveling to an ambiguously virtual dimension to perform espionage, and both treat pre-digital and recently digital technology as a plaything in their world-building.

If, however, you were given only the audio of each game, you would never confuse the two.

On the blog for Necrophone games, they outline the absolutely bonkers lengths they went to to achieve the sound. Many of the noisemakers used for Jazzpunk's soundscape actually built from scratch, soldering and all, by the game's creators. Bringing that level of depth to a game's sound would be admirable for a sound designer, let alone someone who is also devoted full time to simply making the game.

The soundscape of Jazzpunk is like nothing else I've heard before or since, except perhaps in a Martin Denny record. It's a jangly, agitated mix of synths and old jazz records, a kind of James-Bond-cyber-mambo. The implementation is straightforward for the most part, though outright bizarre at times, with attention-grabbing samples coming it at inappropriate times, but because the rest of the game is so damn weird you forgive it somehow.

For everything that is bizarre about Jazzpunk, it relies on more traditional adventure puzzle mechanics, as well as callbacks (there's a quake clone hidden in a wedding cake). The puzzles are hilariously gratifying to solve, but Jazzpunk does not have many new skills to teach the player.

Quadrilateral Cowboy is, in some ways, more sophisticated than Jazzpunk, and I'm not just talking about their approach to humor. Cowboy's gameplay has something quite new to offer players, and something which feels like somewhat of a holy grail in game design; it makes it feel cool to write code. For a while it seemed like there were so many attempts to make games about coding that reviewers were declaring the effort itself to be futile. But Cowboy has done it.

When you look at the credits in Quadrilateral Cowboy, under audio, it simply says "Soundsnap.com" As such very little in Cowboy's soundscape really feels like it belongs to the game. Many of the sounds are appropriate enough. But they do not have that intangible sense of having somehow come from the game itself.

The implementation of sounds is just as puzzling as in Jazzpunk, but unfortunately it is to negative effect. Point-located sounds are at maximum volume when standing near them, and nearly silent when a few steps away. When the player character throws something, they often emit a cough, not the expected effort sound.

The music is completely diagetic, which can be a powerful decision. It is all licensed, and is used to build the settings and tell you things about the characters. All in all a strong point in the soundscape.

I adore both games, but y'all can guess which has been my enduring favorite.

Game #28: Snuggle Truck, Owlchemy Labs, 2012

This game has been in my library for five years, and I sorely regret not playing it immediately after buying it. Snuggle Truck smacks of the Indie Revolution. These kinds of games, centered around a straightforward-but-wiley physics-based mechanic, will always have a special place in my heart. I found myself wondering if this game would be able to stand out if it were released today. Perhaps it would, given Owlchemy’s outreach. 

But how Snuggle Truck would do in today’s market has nothing to do with it’s validity as a work of art, nor does it have anything to do with how deserving it is of commercial success. 

I think about the discussion going on in the indie game community, about the “indiepocalypse” and the “indie bubble.” I think it’s easy to forget that there was never a time when making a game was risk free. It was never a case of, “make game, get paid, onto day three of my indie adventure.” It has always been hell. Maybe the marketing wasn’t hell for a short while. Everything else has always been hell. 

Game #29: Day of the Tentacle Remastered, Double Fine, 2016

I don’t like admitting that I always kind of thought Broken Age invented the whole switching between characters thing. I’ve been touting myself as a fan of point and click adventure games for a while now, and it’s just embarrassing to think I had gotten the whole picture after having played only a tiny selection from what the golden age of this genre has to offer. Man there are a lot of these things. They are a huge time sink though, often designed to take 40 hours to play. I’m not gonna lie, as much as a I adore these games I have myself a good ol’ fashioned think before I choose to start in on one. 

Day of the Tentacle is great, by the way. 

Game #30: Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death, Rebellion, 2003

According to steam, I have played this for 13 minutes. I couldn’t tell you a thing about it because I have no memory of doing so.

Game #31: Elite Dangerous, Frontier Developments, 2014

Oh the deep, dark, horrible shame. My boyfriend bought this game for me at considerable expense in the hopes of giving us another thing to do together. As we booted up the game, he explained to me how we would do one simple thing to boost my cash reserves, and that we’d then be able to do some fun stuff together. He would give me some items, I would sell them. Easy. Would you care to guess how long this took? Trade and sell. How long? How long do you think? 

Three hours. It wasn’t because of our internet connection, it wasn’t because we were very far apart, it wasn’t because we had to do multiple runs, that is how long it takes to do all of the preparatory work in the 20 odd menus and locales you need to visit, then rendez-vous in space, then use a slightly smaller set of menus to open a thing, arm something else, send out another thing, there’s something called a limpet, (I’m assuming it’s named after a British cookie) and then I got the thing and then I could fly back to the station blah blah blah blah. 

I cried. I cried, people. I felt so much like a dumb failure, like a complete waste of my boyfriend’s generosity, that it honestly upsets me to write about it. He did his best to comfort me and assured me he wasn’t mad (yeah, he saw the cry happen) but we have never played it again. I still technically own it but I have hidden it from my steam library because the mere sight of it is disturbing to me, even now. 

Game #32: Mass Effect 2, Bioware, 2010

I have started using Mass Effect 2 to bone up on my German. It’s got full German language support. I only get about a 3rd of what they’re saying. It makes me chuckle how the made-up sci-fi words get pronounced with an American accent. 

Game #33: TRI: Of Friendship and Madness, Rat King, 2014

Exposition of any kind is a tough sell, especially in the fantasy genre. Unless you have Ian McKellen in your roster, almost any fantasy writing is going to sound silly when read aloud. Put another way, dramatic voice over in a game is one of those things that cannot be anything less than great.  I’m tempted to compare this to Journey. Both do a good job of building a fantastical world with magical architecture and a story that existed long before you arrived, but Journey does it better. They probably could have gotten a budget for voice over, but they chose not to use it, and I think it was the right decision. Even with the best voice cast and writers in the world, human voices would have made the world more familiar, to it’s detriment. 

And here’s the thing: in all likelihood, the team behind Journey wrote down just as much detail about the backstory of their game as Tri presents aloud, and a million times more. It may seem that choosing to tell your game’s story without voice over would save effort in terms of storytelling, but nothing could be further from the truth. To expose a world to a player without dialogue, you have to know how your world affects the walls, clothes, materials, gestures, decor, artifacts, absolutely everything the player encounters, because that is the sum total of what you have at your disposal to tell your story.  I’m told that there’s a real mind bender of a game waiting for you if you stick with it, so I may revisit. 

Game #34: Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball, Erik Asmussen, 2015

I am a chronic late adopter of multiplayer games, partially because I’ve never been able to afford them when they’re new. I’ve never joined one in time to get good at it at the same pace as all the early adopters. For my entire life playing games, I’ve found myself getting stomped by people who have hung on long after a game’s heyday, people who know every trick, and who’s patience for newbs ran out years ago. Which is a shame because this game is colorful and awesome.