#honestly might end up redoing all of them since i lost all of the old ones anyway (┬┬﹏┬┬)
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fashion designer & her freelance programmer gf
#dela ostrow#mia hayes#ts4 maxis premades#ts4 townie makeover#ts4#ts4 cas#ts4 edit#ts4 portrait#the sims 4#i have no idea how to dress sims that are supposed to have good fashion sense#i feel like half of my sims look like they're toddlers who just started dressing themselves#anyway! gonna try to finish those maxis makeovers i started...checks calendar...just over a year ago#honestly might end up redoing all of them since i lost all of the old ones anyway (┬┬﹏┬┬)#also listen i really need u guys to ignore me fiddling with my reshade preset constantly ok#somethings still just not right about it but idk what so if it looks completely different in the next post SHUT IT
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.・゜゜・NAVIGATION
about me .゜ call me res! I go by he/him and I'm 18. I typically write longer fics but could probably drop some headcanons and drabbles later down the line! usually my fics are more plot and world-building based but I do write nsfw occasionally (sometimes I write plot solely so I can get to that lmao). I generally stick to writing for male/neutral readers but might eventually write for female readers too (genderfluid legend) - but male readers are more of a priority due to the content drought for them. honestly went awol on here for a while because I post more on ao3 but I decided to bring my newer works here too <3 so enjoy the blog
fandoms I've written for .・ in the past I've written for bleach, genshin, and jjba. some of my newer stuff includes that's not my neighbor, twisted wonderland, more jjba, and some itsv i wrote when it first came out. however, check out the current interests section to find out different fandoms I might write for in the future, as well as the requests + asks section :)
current interests ゜・ started playing honkai star rail recently, honestly really enjoying how interesting the character stories are. some manga I'm currently reading include blue lock, jjk, sakamoto days and jjba. I read a wider variety of manhwa and novels though, including orv, lookism, how to fight, return of the mad demon, solo levelling, concubine walkthrough (really recommend this one), legend of a northern blade... I can't list them all since I've read over two hundred lmao (please ask me for fic recommendations I've got so many) in terms of my other hobbies since I do have a life (I hope this is obvious) I like art, history, and the sciences (fuck I use so many science metaphors in my work...), so if you ask for scientist!reader... yeah you know what's up
things of note •. yeah don't follow me or interact with my work if you're racist, homophobic, ableist, or if you don't believe in a free palestine. idc who you are that's an immediate block.
requests + asks ・゜ I write as a hobby and honestly just to blow off stress! currently am doing my studies in a myriad of subjects and have lots to do, but my ask box will be open; just keep in mind I may not reply immediately (sorry about that). I probably won't be able to write longer fics but less than 2k is light work fr, especially if it's something like headcanons or drabbles or things of that nature. again, will write for neutral/male readers so please keep that in mind when requesting. my ask box will be open for just discussions or other things :) as mentioned previously, I write for male/neutral readers, but I might extend it to female reader eventually (or depending on the fic idea?? really does depend). while the majority (all...) of my work is x reader, I don't mind doing character x character I won't write any weird ships (no incest, big age gaps, just weird ships in general), and I won't write nsfw of aged-up characters that are minors in the original work!! in terms of fandoms you can request for, any of the aforementioned should be good, I just may not be very familiar with the character so it might take a while to find their 'voice' to write for. however!! if the fandom in question has not been mentioned above you can send a request anyway because I've extensively consumed media so I'll have at least heard of it (probably/hopefully)
what I'm currently up to <3 as of june, I'm continuing my jjba long fic and currently redoing my entire blog (my older posts look so UGLY omfd). debating whether to make a side blog for just discussions and stuff?? I'm also thinking of medium/plot-based fics for other fandoms to give myself somewhat of a refresh I'm fresh out of end of year exams but still have a lot to do elsewhere so this blog is going to be my proverbial terrarium to nourish and take care of so I don't lost my sanity
OLD MASTERLIST ゜・★・゚MASTERLIST
TAGS FOR NAVIGATION (will continue to be updated) [navigation] for things like masterlists + the navigation post (this one) [masterlist] for masterlists [res ・゚ writing] for any of my writing [old writing] for my old stuff that my og followers know me for
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Sly Cooper 1 Review:
As in, I recently completed the game and since I was asked to, I will give my review on it. I’m a little nervous because this is the first time I’m doing this, so hopefully I’ll get this right.
KEEP IN MIND: I did not grow up with this series, and I am going in after @oroanillado gifted me the entire series for the PS3. I am a new fan who basically grew up on Nintendo products, so my views might come off differently.
ALSO: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Onto the review.
0. Initial Reaction:::::::::::::::::::::::::
I was pretty surprised how the game collection required no download or installation. So that was a good little bonus as I could immediately sit down and play it without much of a wait. As for the starting point on top of the roof... lemmie say that Sly is adorable at first glance. His movements are fluid and it’s very satisfying to control him--especially the fact that he has a bass sound to his steps that is beyond addictive. I love it.
Not to mention the music is nice. Not exactly as memorable, but I can listen to it and it does give the area a feel.
And then Bentley opened his mouth. Whew boy. Okay. Rok heard my live commentary every time he opened his mouth, so it’ll be a theme. It wasn’t that bad at first though so it’s mostly me wanting to explore the Police Station. It’s mostly a tutorial level so it’s nothing impressive, just giving the feels.
When Carmelita showed up, like expected, I was stunned by two things: she owns an extra fancy taser gun, and that slow as fuck taser gun is able to cause the destruction of public and private property as a massive scale. Ma’am, can we talk? Can you not blow up the cars?? LADY-
As for the comic style animation? Yes, perfect. I was looking forward to it and was not disappointed. I love the cartoony look it gives to the whole world. Which is something else I noticed--the feel and look of the game is very much like the love child of Banjo Kazooie and Psychonauts. The colors and collectathon.
Also the character motivations for Sly, Bentley and Murray are believable. All are orphans, and Sly saw his family get killed but the bad guys and the family book of thieves stolen. Carmelita? Eh, wish I had more context to her but good cop trying to catch the robber is good enough.
Note: I had no idea Carmelita was actually someone that worked for Interpol. My dumbass thought she was just a French cop. The more you know.
As for the hub safehouse area, it’s simple and direct to the point.
Okay. We good? Now onto the levels.
1. Tide of Terror:::::::::::::::::::
Sly dies in one shot.
Sly dies in one shot.
Sly dies in one shot.
No. This was okay. I was determined to find out how I could get around this. I explored the initial open area, collecting the coins and trying to get the bottles because I knew that the point of the games was to collect all pages, right? So I needed the bottles to get the clues so Bentley could give me the code. Thing is, I ran into a few problems on the get go. BESIDES SLY BEING A ONE HIT WONDERBOY.
I didn’t know I could pimp whack enemies with the cane. So I see this walrus looking mofo just hammering away on a boat and I’m like... How do I not aggro this dude. Keep to myself, reach areas I new I could jump to, and... OH FUCK THERE ARE BOTTLES ON THAT BOAT GOD DAMN IT! Fine. Let’s sneak in. By sneak I mean run around the walrus and realize that the guy just sees me and hammers harder. What? Okay then he doesn’t chase me. Get the bottles, realize after 5 minutes that Sly’s pimp ass cane can in fact obliterate the ship’s pole to get the last bottle, before trying to confront the walrus.
So I died the first time. Then I smacked him. You know, for a one hit wonder as Sly is, I appreciate that the enemies are the same as well. That balanced everything out and not made it a colorful furry version of Dark Souls. So off I go. Up the ladder and jumping right into the second area where there are search lights. I’m like okay, let me go around these and--
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ROSE BUSH KILLED SLY?!
GOD DAMN IT!!
Yes, a lot of this happened. It has been a while since I played a colorful game like this and I a lot of this is simple designing that is obvious, but I am also someone that enjoys finding other ways to get around them. So many choices in the game seems nonsensical. A raccoon unable to brush by some thorn bushes was rather hilarious. I was basically fussing at full volume while Rok was laughing at me. Which was good, I meant to be hilarious.
I discovered the wonders that were the search lights and that they are easily turned off in the small sections. That I could in fact dodge most attacks from the minor enemy characters. Realized that this damn raccoon cannot swim to save his damn life. LITERALLY.
kjsdbkjsd And then I realized that I was missing quite a few bottles once I got to the end. I was frustrated. I wanted to get them all already. So I went back and tried figuring out how to get them and I SWEAR TO GOD I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT THE SAFE WITHOUT BENTLEY GOING “YOU DON’T HAVE THE BOTTLES NEEDED TO OPEN IT U-”
Bro. Bro I know. Bro please.
Shut the fuck up.
Got the bottles and moved on. Found out that I absolutely adore Sly being in a barrel and wanted to take that barrel with me everywhere but I couldn’t. Realized that Sly puts come paper cuts outs of his emblem in opened up safes and--can we talk about this? Does Sly just sit in his room with colored craft paper and cuts these out every night? Does he redo them if one comes out funky? Does he get glittery paper or is it like the kiddy kind? Does he do them in the van? Is it with scissors or an x-acto knife?! How do you make these bro you don’t simply walk into a FedEx’s Kinkos to print these out!
Anyway, I’m learning more tricks as I go along, getting all of the keys and bottles and I do go back to each stage to get all of the damn bottles because I am not leaving one behind because I really want all of the pages. I am also seeing all of the death animations Sly does and honestly, the humor in each of them is not lost on me at all. I adore them. The first time I saw him just realizing he’s gonna fall to his death and he just-
I busted laughing so hard and Rok got to hear me lmao oh my god-- But for real, most of his death animations are strangely adorable in my opinion. Especially when he just falls and his little leg twitches. They never made animations like that for other games I played so far (not even for Banjo Kazooie). And the lightness of everything makes it less frustration in my opinion. As though I had no problem if Sly died along the way. Whereas I would get way more frustrated with how Mario or Banjo would die.
Anyway those are my tidbits. But lemmie tell you something.Once I got to the last stage where I needed to get the 7 keys to access the final boss? There’s a treasure chest with crabs mini games.
FUCK. THAT. GAME.
The only reason I got through it was because I’m stubborn and I distracted my frustrations in my chat with Rok as I had this damn raccoon swim around in a submarine, killing about 100 crustaceans just for 40 chests!! 40! Not a normal number like 20 or 25. No. 40. That drove me nuts for some reason.
Anyway, finally got to the final boss after I collected all the horseshoes and lives around the main hub of the level, and then yeeted Sly from the canon ALA Wind Waker style.
Raleigh is freaking gross. Not in voice, but his animation made me feel really nasty with looking at him, which in my opinion was a good visual design and motivator to get rid of him faster. It was also easy to sort of find out what the boss fight was requiring from me in the end--making it so much easier as well. I guess for a kid it’s a bit more difficult and I can understand that. I just enjoyed the fights for having a repetitive nature that was satisfying. Like even if I died many times, the game didn’t throw me all the way out of the level at all. It restarted the fight from the beginning and that, to me, was a good way to introduce me to the entire function of a Sly Cooper 1 boss fight.
I felt happy when I defeated Raleigh. And of course, Sly isn’t a “killer” so froggo dude is still alive, just in prison after “HOT LATIN FOX LADY” caught him. Of course. Can someone tell me where Carmelita is from? Is she Spanish or Mexican or..? Like was that defined by the games or was it thrown up in the air?
Anyway, onto the next level.
2. Sunset Snake Eyes:::::::::::::::::::::
Lemmie just say that I actually enjoyed Mugshot’s backstory? It made me feel really sympathetic towards him in a way.... Despite him being a murderer but you know. It was a nice touch.
Okay so, are any of you familiar with the whole “Mickey Mouse is taking his dog Pluto for a walk” dilemma? Well, I had a moment like that as well in this section. Why? Because Mugshot has feral dogs all over his turf and that messes me up a lot for some reason. Like I always wondered how, evolutionary wise, can an anthro dog and a feral dog look so similar? I had a moment like that as well when reading Farewell, Beloved Falco. There was a feral pig in that comic and it bother the fuck out of me. But it didn’t impede me from playing the game.
The look was very much classical American desert wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Possibly southwest USA if I were to guess, and I liked the feel of the casinos and run down RVs, trailers and cars. However it made me question why this place was a junkyard almost if he kinda has a functioning casino. For Raleigh I could understand because it was a hideout, you do what you can right? Even if you have a fucking floating metal blimp over your hideout, like that won’t catch military attention at all, nooooooo--
But like, an abandoned casino suggests that it was once owned by the mafia or a mob, and just--Okay. Police regulations and gun control. Etc etc, I’m rambling on about things that have nothing to do with the game. Back to the design.
Again, collecting all the bottles like a desperate AA member that needs a hit for old times sake and running back to open up the safe. Can I just say that the names of each Cooper ancestor is rather amusing? Like some have the most dumb but adorable names. Huckleberry Cooper jfc--
And once I got into the main hub, I got my first taste of the “Murray can’t think without his stomach thus gets himself in trouble and needs to race his Moon Rover turned into a Van to win one of the keys” mini game and “Bentley told me I gotta keep you alive as you run through this area full of trigger happy criminals, Murray, plEASE STOP RUNNING IN FRONT OF MY BULLETS MURRAY-” mini game. Nice. Not as bad as the 40 treasure chests crabs.
Also, why would Mugshot or his minions just leave a red sports car running on reverse for days on end?? Anyway.
The inside of the casino was a nice section to play ngl. I enjoyed that a lot. The platforming too, despite some of the bottles being utterly difficult to get without having to die and do the entire section again to get them. And then comes the level when Carmelita decides to destroy private property because she’s after this dumbass raccoon. I wonder how she felt seeing him jump around back and forth breaking bottles and dodging her SLOW AS FUCK TASER GUN.
“Could you stand still?!”
“Nope. Not my fault you couldn’t get a license for a firearm.”
Finally I got to the Mugshot boss fight and like the first one, it was a very satisfying fight. Mugshot had me in stitches because he walked around with his long ass arms instead of his legs at first like lmao! Also once I got to the final third stage, I was all cautious and excite to jump around the wires. Yessss.
Defeated, all bottles collected, Carmelita caught this villain as well, and off we go... stealing shit from the USA before coming back to the Safehouse? Alrighty then.
3. Vicious Voodoo:::::::::::::::
Let me tell you something about myself. I have an intense love for Voodoo in video games. Started with Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father, Princess and the Frog and I had an intense call back to one of the swamp areas of Banjo Kazooie in this level.
So basically, this is my favorite level.
I think it’s also the level where I argued the most with Bentley as well. Or at least the second one because, since the very first game, he keeps repeating the same obvious commands all the time with a constant reminder of press the O button. Sly? Sly?? SLY! PRESS THE O BUTTON! Bentley? You’re cute, but you gotta stop my dude.
The sliding effect on the long branches was a lot of fun, the tree enemies that had more than one hit kills were also satisfying to beat the shit out of. I also enjoyed the general murky color of the level in general. Just the spooky was definitely my aesthetic. You know what wasn’t my aesthetic? The first mini game I ran into, which was the candle mini game where Bentley would repeat himself all the time right at the start of if you had to restart the level. I muted the entire thing and had Sly mindlessly killing the fishes to turn on the candles while blabbing to Rok on the phone so it was easier for me not to get nervous about the time limit or the amount of candles I had to turn on. It was the same thing with the Chicken Gumbo mini game, but I didn’t mute that one. Because Bentley stayed quiet.
Also, @oroanillado is the biggest troll. I was on the beast section of the game and they did not describe to me what it was like. So I’m honestly not expecting much at all, just wanted to grab my bottles and go. Once I’m halfway though, and I already saw the water moving around I’m having Amnesia the Dark Descent flashbacks like OH SHIT OH FUK O Shi- But no. No. What got to me was... This intensely huge serpent coming out of the water and chasing me and my camera kept pointing BACK instead of pointing forward so I could navigate Sly out of that mess while also getting the fucking bottles along the way!!
I was shrieking!! I have an acute fear of things that are larger than normal (it’s connected to my Agoraphobia). I have that with whales and sharks and fish, so I usually avoid big mobs if possible in any game. Yes, including the 3 mythical dragons from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. @thekursedone-lylat was present when I was freaking out about saving Naydra and how huge it was. But at the same time I have a big fear of these sorts of creatures, I was laughing and cursing at the end of the level because honestly, Rok was having a good time and so was I.
Oh yes, also the other mini game where I had to navigate the same speed boat thingy and shoot down the on coming ghosts and flaming rocks was pretty annoying until I figured out I needed to destroy the pillars where the ghosts came from. Then it was easy.
But my absolute favorite section of this whole level was the Green Water Full of Body Parts and Bones. Bentley was losing his shit at the beginning of the level and I would accidentally yeet Sly into the water of decomposing bodies like yeah, yeah the turtle won’t like the smell of this. It was just a well designed level, so I had no problems having to redo it to get all the bottles again and again.
Now, the boss fight? I was warned about this ahead of time so I had to unfortunately put Mz. Ruby on mute so I would concentrate on her attacks but apparently they were supposed to go with the rhythm of the song and the Sly Cooper Collection messed that up? I think she was the only Boss I was really wanting to listen to as she talked because she was giving me good “yeah I’m bad, probably not the best one in the group, but I don’t care I’mma own up to it so try to dodge my attacks as best you can” vibes. It was also entertaining to see Sly go Neo with some of the commands.
All bottles collected and onto Winter in China.
4. Fire in the Sky::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh hey look, fireworks!
.....oh.
Surprisingly, this entire stage was rather meh to me? It worked like the others, felt like the others, but I really wasn’t as wowed by it. It might also be just the fact that I mostly saw white in general due to the snow, and spent most of my time looking for a few bottles on one section that really irritated me. Like I legitimately got mad in one section and didn’t want to deal with it because of the noises some of the monkeys were making.
This section. I hated it so much because I thought the bottles I was missing were in here and 2 of them were but I needed hints for it. Argh... Everything else in this section was pretty much a blur for me besides the two mini games with Murray, and the one level where Carmlita came back again, destroying more private and ancient property with her taser gun--and the main reason I remember this was because:
Carmelita saying she was going to catch criminal scum Sly and Sly just went “you really need to get woke, I’m not the bad guy here.”
I collected all the bottles but Bentley told me I had to defeat Clockwerk before I could open this damn safe, and it was the only one requiring this!!
Carmelita went down with the dragon statue, into the hypothermia levels of cold water while shaking her fist into the sky.
I will say the part of Sly and Bentley discussing the whole mechanics of Sly taking the rockets into Panda’s lair was pretty funny tho. Just,
Bentley: Hey you might be able to reach the top of the tower before these explode.
Sly: Okay but what if they explode before I get there?
Bentley: Then I guess you’ll blow up into many pieces.
Sly:
As for the Panda King boss fight, it was okay. I just kept running in circles around the arena while approaching the dude. Defeated him and was like okay, I really need to go and defeat Clockwerk now so I can open that safe.
5. The Cold Heart of Hate:::::::::::::::::::
Look.
I get Sly probably weighs next to nothing, Murray, but could you at least break once Sly gets knocked off the top of the van? Or when the rocks are falling down towards us, maybe also step on the breaks so not everyone is being driven to their ultimate death?
No?
Okay.
I will say, I headcanon that both Bentley and Sly were getting an intense case of whiplash when Murray was driving that van around at 120 MPH collecting all 60 computers because... Bentley needed those to hack into something??? It wasn’t as bad as the 40 crabs and treasure chests but man. And then of course there’s the section where, oh surprise surprise, Carmelita is in an obvious trap, slamming her fist on the glass, needing to be saved. Bentley warned Sly it was a trap. But of course Sly is like:
OH THANK GOD THE BARREL IS BACK.
Anyway, obvious trap is an obvious trap. Carm just bitches at Sly right as he gets stuck in the glass chamber and is sprayed with RAID. So Bentley has to save his ass. This is possibly the mini game I dislike the most. I just put Bentley on constantly circling mode as he shot down the targets.I died about 9000 times before I won.
Carmen is all Oh I was wrong about you the whole time Sly!
Sly: Duh.
And off we go to the next section where Sly lost his cane and he needs to recover it with Carm’s help. So I’m controlling Carm’s taser gun. Guess how many times I purposefully killed Sly? Many. For funsies. Because the gun magically got faster once I was behind the trigger.
Next section was the whole climb up the beam tower as it’s being consumed by lava! I very much enjoyed this whole climbing bit. It was fun. Again, died a lot and I actually glitched through the walls because I jumped somewhere I wasn’t supposed to and had to kill Sly along the way. But still very fun.
FINALLY.
CLOCKWERK.
Are we serious? Are we actually serious right now? Clockwerk had absolutely no motivation beyond ultimate hate? WHAT?! That’s just... not a satisfying reason ngl. Anyway, the jetpack flying section was probably the easiest thing ever and I loved it. What I didn’t like was the laser section that came after it... I kept dying. Again. FUCK. THOSE. LASERS.
Clockwerk speaking random little words while malfunctioning was super cute those. I don’t why, but I loved it. I was shrieking by the end of everything though because once I got right at the back end, where I’m supposed to jump on this mad owl, I was not expecting the head to jump on me. HHHHHHH!!!
Anyway, I killed Clockwerk dead. Back into the lava you go. Witnessed Sly give Carmelita the slip of the tongue and handcuffed her onto a railing over an active volcano before yeeting himself. Classy. Then back to his old tricks again with the gang. End credits.
NO WAIT.
The last chest. In the Panda section. Yeah I went back for that and got the extra ending.
0. MY RATING::::::::::::::::::::
Honestly, 8 trashcans out of 10. If Clockwerk actually had a believable motive besides hate, I’d give it a higher rating. But the game is satisfying and I love the mechanics of it.
Bentley just needs to chill the fuck up tho. God.
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Pokemon Secret Journeys Snippet: “I have a sister now?”
So, here’s something different. I mentioned a few times before I published a fanfiction recently, it’s on FF.net and AO3. And I thought just for fun, and hopefully to get a bit more traffic slowing, I might post a few scenes from it here on Tumblr for people to read.
Here’s the general summary of the story:
An interdimensional being called The Beyonder has taken over the World of Pokemon, altering it to suit his whims. So naturally, it's up to Ash Ketchum to do something about that. Sent back in time on a quest to redo his journey in this radically altered world, Ash and friends are in for their greatest, most dangerous adventure of all.
.
Below is the first scene of the first proper chapter after the prologue, Ash Ketchum’s first taste of the rebooted version of the Pokemon World he’s found himself in. Also featuring the character of Molly Hale, from Pokemon 3.
If anyone’s interested, feel free to give it a read.
*Ring! Ring! Ring!*
Smash!
"Gah!" Ash leapt up so suddenly he ended up falling out of bed, face-planting on the floor just a foot away from his oversized soft Snorlax plush. With a pained groan Ash pushed himself up, glancing in the direction of the shattered pokeball-clock.
Panic quickly overtook him.
"Ah crud, not again!" Ash yelled, hastily looking up at the wall clock above his TV "Wait… seven O'Clock?"
Ash blinked a few times before letting out a huge sigh of relief "Well, okay then" He laughed, scratching the back of his head impishly.
In the original timeline, Ash had somehow managed to sleep through his alarm, only finally waking up after smashing his alarm clock after subconsciously throwing it in his sleep. Ash arrived at Professor Oak's lab pretty late as a result, after all the other three new trainers leaving Pallet Town that day had already gotten their starter Pokemon and took off on their journeys. Well except Gary, he stuck around just long enough to be really smug to Ash about the whole thing and how he got the best Pokemon.
By some stroke of luck, Ash had managed to avoid a repeat of that embarrassing incident this time around.
And yet, his clock still wound up against the wall.
'I guess some things are just fate' Ash mused to himself, observing the broken scrap metal littering the other side of his room.
Wasting no time, Ash pushed himself up onto his feet, stumbling slightly as it suddenly occurred to him he was still very tired. He vaguely remembered the now shattered alarm clock reading 3.45am and realised he'd probably stayed up most of the night planning out his next few moves after he left for Oak's Lab.
What those plans were completely alluded Ash at the moment, but he figured they'd probably come back to him when he was a bit more awake.
After scooping up the scattered remains of the pokeball clock and dumping them into a nearby bin, Ash stumbled over to his wardrobe and pulled open the doors, being greeted by a mirror on the back of one of them. The dishevelled teenager narrowed his eyes at the short tuft of hair on his reflection's chin.
Glancing once more at the wall behind the desk with his TV, Ash double checked the date on the calendar. Still the same date on which he'd first set out on his Journey.
Ash sighed 'Guess there's no point hoping it was all just a weird dream, huh?' Ash stroked the hairs on his chin, frowning curiously 'Am I supposed to start shaving then, or are you supposed to wait until it gets longer and it starts growing under your nose too?'
A loud rumble suddenly filled his ears and made Ash clutch his stomach in discomfort. Shaking his head, Ash grabbed a pair of clothes-the same kind he'd worn for most of his travels in Kanto through Johto-and made his way out of the room and to the bathroom 'I'll worry about that later. Right now I'm staaaarviiiing'
After a quick shower and feeling more awake, Ash got dressed and made his way to the stairs.
"Mime-Mime" a familiar voice greeted.
"Oh, hey Mimey" Ash responded as he passed his mother's Mr Mime on the landing before making for the stairs. About halfway down he suddenly stopped, his face going blank as Ash stood silently for a moment. Then with a sharp "Gah!" Ash leapt up, losing his footing on the step as he landed and tumbling the rest of the way down the stairs, his head becoming acquainted with an umbrella stand as he landed.
"Oww" Ash groaned, rubbing the fresh bruise on his forehead.
"Mr Mime?"
Ash glanced up the stairs and saw Mr Mime looking down at him with concern. As Ash began to get up, Mimey rushed down the stairs and offered him a hand, which Ash graciously accepted.
"Thanks" Ash said, momentarily forgetting the reason why he'd just tumbled down the stairs. It quickly came back to him after standing up "Wait-Mr Mime?! What are you doing here?"
Ash's first thought was to wonder why Mimey would be at his house instead of the Cerise Laboratory where he'd been staying with Ash. Then he remembered that he was sent back in time, so why would Mimey be at the Lab now instead of at home with his mother. And then Ash realised-hey, wait. He and his mother hadn't met Mimey until after he'd won all 8 of his Kanto badges, so what was he doing here at all?
"Mr Mime?" Mimey looked equally as confused as Ash did right now. He placed a hand over the bruise on Ash's head, leaned in close and began examining Ash's face with some concern. Ash just stared back at him awkwardly before eventually swatting the hand away and leaning away from the Psychic-type.
"I'm fine, I'm fine" Ash chuckled nervously, which just made Mimey look at him oddly. Ash scratched his head "I just-um… I was a bit dizzy, that's all. I, uh… didn't get much sleep-but I'm fine! Everything's good, Mimey, thanks. Ha ha"
Mimey eyed Ash suspiciously for a long moment, which made the teen a bit nervous. But eventually the mime's face lit up with a satisfied smile.
"Mime-mime" Mimey said while giving Ash a thumbs up. Ash mentally sighed and waved at the Mr Mime as he began climbing back up the stairs, picking up a stack of freshly-folded towels when he got to the top.
'Okay, so mom and I already have Mimey in this timeline' Ash thought to himself, scratching his chin 'Well, I guess that's not the most surprising thing that could happen. But now I wonder if mom's a blonde or something now?"
A quick trip to the kitchen proved that wasn't the case. At most his mother's hair was just slightly longer than it had been the last he'd seen of her.
"Oh, hey honey, glad you got up on time. What was that big thump just now?" Delia asked while washing the dishes.
"Thump?" Ash frowned "… Oh. Um, I fell down the stairs"
Delia put down the plate she was washing and looked at Ash with some concern, noticing the bruise on his head.
"Oh my gosh, Ash! Are you alright?" Delia squealed, rushing over to her son who quickly threw up his hands in a 'Stop' motion.
"It's fine mom, I'm alright" Ash insisted "You know me, I've been hurt way worse than this"
Delia stared at Ash contemplatively for a long moment before her expression relaxed and she sighed.
"Yeah, that's true" She said with some amusement "Honestly, I'd hoped you'd be over that clumsy streak by the time you set off on a journey, but I guess that's just who you are. Oh, by the way, breakfast is on the table for you sweetie"
With a relieved sigh Ash took his seat at the table and examined the contents of the plate his mother had laid out. Toast, bacon, fried eggs, and a croquette sandwich. Simple breakfast, but Ash was happy to dig in.
As he made a start on the toast, Ash looked over at his mother, watching her finish washing the remaining dishes. After the shock of everything he'd been through the previous evening and being told the entire universe had been torn apart, it was a welcome relief to see his mother again, just carrying on with her life as normal.
'Now how the heck am I supposed to explain all of that to her?' Ash asked himself, scratching his head. He then noticed the black mark on the back of his hand that read "20" and Arceus's advice on how to "Remind" people repeated in his head.
Ash noticed his mother turn her head to look at him again, and he quickly hid his right hand under the table. He silently cursed himself for not putting on his old gloves with the rest of his clothes, he'd better make sure neither she or Mimey noticed the mark just yet.
"Those are some pretty big bags under your eyes. I did tell you you'd regret it if you didn't get enough sleep" Delia lectured. Ash scratched the bottom of his nose with his left index finger.
"Hehe. I tried, but you know, I just had so much on my mind I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried" Ash replied. It was the truth of course, but just not for the reasons Delia assumed.
"Oh, Ash… well, I guess I can't blame you. This IS a pretty exciting day for any young man. Just promise me you'll try and sleep better the next couple of days. You may be 16 now, but you're still a growing boy" Delia said, finishing up with the dishes and going to make herself a cup of tea.
"I'll… try. I promise" Ash replied. Delia shot him a warm smile at that, and Ash suddenly felt the most at ease he'd been since before the world ended. His mother could be strict, embarrassing and overbearing from time to time. But she was still a wonderful, loving person with a big heart, and she always knew how to cheer him up.
He was so grateful she wasn't lost forever.
As Ash finished his toast and started on the bacon and eggs, a loud yawn caught his attention. He turned to the door that led to the living room to see a little brown-haired girl in blue pyjamas and a bow in her hair wander into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and looking very sleepy. Ash could only blink at her, thinking she looked very familiar.
"Molly, dear, what's got you up so early" Asked Delia with mild concern.
Ash blinked harder. Molly? Taking a closer look at the girl as her eyes drifted open, it suddenly clicked why he recognised her. She was Molly Hale, the daughter of a family friend that he'd met in Johto once on his journeys.
"I wa-" Molly yawned again, shaking her head and suddenly looking a little more awake "I wanted to be awake to see Ash before he left"
"He doesn't have to be at Oak's lab until ten, sweetie. You didn't have to get up straight away" Delia said, setting aside her unfinished cup of tea and pulling out a chair for Molly to sit on. The little one smiled and bowed graciously to her before she sat.
'Ten?' Ash pondered. He could have sworn he had to be at Oak's lab a lot sooner than that originally? Or had he really overslept that badly? Why hadn't his mother woken him up, then?
"But I won't get to see Ash for a really, really long time after today. So I wanted to make sure" Molly insisted. Delia giggled and ruffled Molly's hair.
"Aww, sweetie" Delia cooed.
Ash was just really confused by all this.
Molly noticed Ash staring at her and flashed him a sweet smile "Good morning Ash. Ready to be a Pokemon Master?"
"I… sure, I always am" Ash replied, glancing sideways at his mother "What's Molly doing here?"
Ash mentally winced slightly at the look of shock and concern on Molly's face when he said that. Delia looked at her son like he'd asked why water was wet "She's been here a whole week! Her dad's on a research trip with Professor Rowan, remember?"
"Professor Row-" Ash began, but then suddenly it hit him how what he'd just said was probably pretty dumb from his mother's perspective and changed direction "Oh-oh, right, research trip. I um, forgot? Ha ha"
Now Delia and Molly were both looking at him with a bit of concern. Delia heaved a frustrated sigh.
"This is why I don't want you staying up all night, mister. Lack of sleep really messes with your head" Delia mused.
"Is Ash going to be alright?" Molly asked tenderly.
"Oh, don't worry, Mr sleepy head will be fine once he's woken up some more" Delia said with a laugh. Molly giggled, though still looking worried.
Ash continued staring at Molly for a moment. In the old timeline, Ash apparently knew Molly when she was a few years younger than when they'd met again in Johto, but could barely remember much about her or her family before they'd moved away.
Evidently they hadn't moved this time around, and Ash figured from the looks of things he and his mother were a lot closer to Molly because of it.
But there was another bit of information that really caught his interest. Apparently Molly's father was doing research with Professor Rowan? He was the Pokemon Professor in Sinnoh, who Ash had met a bunch of times. It was at his Summer Camp he'd first met Angie, in fact. And Ash also vaguely recalled an encounter with a certain type of Pokemon in Sinnoh on another occasion…
"Are they looking for the Unown?" Ash asked.
"I don't think Spencer's been researching anything else for the last 10 years" Delia chuckled. Ash suddenly felt a bit uneasy, remembering the circumstances in which he'd originally met with Molly in Johto. And then another thought suddenly popped into his mind.
"Is Molly's mom with them?"
Ash regretted the question as soon as he blurted it out, and the looks on Delia and Molly's faces when he said it only reinforced that. Delia gaped at him in disbelief, then swiftly turned to face Molly, who was suddenly staring silently at her feet.
Ash gulped.
"I'm… I'm sorry. I… don't know why I asked that" Was all Ash could say. Delia shot him another disapproving look before kneeling down and putting a hand on Molly's shoulder, whispering something soothing into her ear. Ash looked away in shame.
He suddenly remembered quite clearly that Molly's mother in the original timeline had disappeared quite some time before he got to Johto, apparently it had something to do with the Unown kidnapping her in a similar manner they later did Molly's father. Or, he assumed that's what happened, since apparently she'd been found shortly after Spencer Hale was returned after the whole Unown crisis at Greenfield was taken care of.
Losing her mother had filled Molly with a lot of grief and left her feeling very lonely in the old timeline. And clearly, the same held true for this one.
Not wanting to stick around in case he said anything else stupid, Ash hurriedly finished the rest of his bacon and eggs and scooped up the Croquette sandwich to take with him to his room.
"I, um... I think I need to take a quick nap. I'm not thinking straight" Ash said hastily "Could-could you wake me if I'm not up in time to get to the lab, mom?"
"Sure, honey. Sure" Delia said, still looking rather cross with him. Molly glanced up at Ash, but quickly looked away. Ash felt like his insides had briefly frozen seeing the hurt look on her face, and he wasted no time getting out of the kitchen, bumping into Mimey on his way out who had just entered the room and was watching everyone else with some confusion.
Ash rushed up the stairs, scarfing down his sandwich as he did so. Pushing open the door to his room, Ash shut the door behind him, made straight for his bed and plopped down on it, heaving an aggravated sigh.
"Well, that was awkward" Ash grumbled to himself. He flipped over onto his back and stared contemplatively at the ceiling. He knew he was going to have to apologize to Molly for that little slip-up, but he wasn't quite sure what to say.
'Sorry I brought up your missing mom when you're still torn up about it. Don't worry, she's just trapped in another dimension by floating alphabet soup, and she'll totally come back once you dream up an Entei to blast them back to their dimension and make the world stop turning into crystal'
...
'Yeah, no, definitely not' Ash slapped his forehead and closed his eyes, thinking carefully about how to sound comforting without giving too much away…
...
...
...
He and Molly were decorating a Christmas tree together. Ash was standing on a chair and holding Molly up, as the younger girl struggled to reach out and place a plastic Clefable on top of the tree. Molly and Ash both cheered when she finally got the Clefable to stick.
...
Ash's eyes shot open as he bolted upright. For a moment he had no reaction other than to stare blankly into the distance. Then his senses eventually returned to him and a bemused frown spread across his face.
"What the… what was-GAH!" Ash's eyes snapped shut again as his mind suddenly went fuzzy.
...
It was Molly's fourth birthday party. Ash, his mother, Professor Oak and both of Molly's parents were there. Molly was struggling to blow out the candles on a cake shaped like a Teddiursa's head, so when her eyes were shut during her 5th attempt Ash blew them out for her and pretended she had done it herself. Everyone cheered for Molly, who was laughing and looking very proud of herself.
Molly was four and a half. She and Ash were at the park. Molly had just fallen off the swings and scraped her knee. She cried for five minutes straight while Ash bandaged her leg and told her over and over in a gentle voice that everything would be okay, that she was a big girl and didn't need to cry. When he was done putting on the bandage Ash gave Molly a hug, which finally calmed her down enough to make the crying stop. Ash picked Molly up and took her to find her father. Molly thanked Ash. She said he was the bestest.
Molly was two years old. Mr Mime was making her laugh by floating spoons, forks and plates around and doing a weird tap dance. Ash thought it was kinda silly, but Molly was loving it. Ash then decided to impress her by juggling apples. He was doing pretty well with three, but when he tried juggling five he hit Mimey with one by mistake and made him drop the plates and cutlery he was floating. The plates smashed against the floor. Surprisingly, this made Molly laugh harder than anything else Ash or Mimey had done, but Ash wasn't sharing her amusement. He was panicking over how much his mother would yell at him over the smashed plates.
Molly was crying her eyes out. A few hours ago, Spencer had come home a nervous wreck and informed Delia and Ash that Molly's mother had gone missing. Molly was five years old. Ash was now cradling the distraught little girl in his arms, gently telling her everything would be okay and that they'd find her mom before long. He wasn't sure himself, he didn't understand what had happened very well either, but he had to try to ease her pain somehow. Molly hugged him tight, begging her momma to come back.
It was three weeks ago. Spencer was talking to Delia in her living room. Ash was looking at Molly, who was sulking in the corner of the room. Spencer was telling Delia about how he was going to be moving to Greenfield, his childhood home where his now deceased parents used to live. He and Molly would go there a few weeks after a trip to Sinnoh he had to go on with Professor Rowan to study some ruins in Solaceon Town. Ash noticed Molly was shaking, and suddenly she shot up and yelled at her father that she didn't want to leave and that she hated him for taking her away from home.
A few minutes later, Molly had locked herself in the wardrobe in Ash's room. Delia and Spencer were waiting outside of Ash's room as Ash tried to calm Molly down. It took half an hour, but Ash eventually managed to get her to come out. She cried when she saw her father and apologised for saying she hated him, saying she didn't mean it and she just wanted to stay home and be with everyone. Ash sighed as he watched Spencer hugging his daughter, apologising for needing to move and promising they'd come back eventually.
...
In the present, Ash gasped for breath. His eyes flickered open and he began looking around the room, getting a grip on his current surroundings. He leaned back against his pillow, his mind racing to process that sudden burst of information. Something Arceus had said the previous evening repeated clearly in his head.
"There's another thing you should know. The longer the two of you remain in this new timeline and your bodies and minds begin to acclimate to it, the more you should experience memories of the lives you should have lead in this new reality. Flashbacks, most likely, though a few of them might be subconscious recollections you won't even notice were not related to your past lives"
It all made sense now. Those were his new memories. He was recalling some of the times he and Molly had spent together in this new version of his life. How Ash had known her since she was a baby. How the Hale's were close family friends who hadn't yet moved away.
How Molly had been like a sister to Ash.
Ash rubbed his head, his eyes glazed over as he became lost in those thoughts. Consciously, he knew he had never really experienced any of those moments… and yet, for reasons he couldn't understand… he FELT like he'd lived them. Those memories FELT as real and personal to him as any from the life he actually had lived up to now.
Ash wasn't sure if he should be concerned about that or not. All he really knew right now was that he felt even more guilty for making Molly upset.
He glanced at the clock. 8.15am. What? How long had he been staring at the ceiling?
Slapping his head, Ash got up and opened the window, breathing in the breeze of fresh air and leaning against the windowsill. He looked out at the town of Pallet.
Everything seemed exactly the way he remembered it. Same buildings. Same sky. Same Professor Oak's ranch in the distance. He even noticed the Dodrio that usually woke everyone in the neighbourhood up waddling around. The place outside Ash's window seemed just like the same old world he'd grown up in.
But it wasn't. It was so very different.
'Boy, I'll be glad when this is all over and things go back to normal'
Taking another deep breath, Ash cast another glance out at Professor Oak's lab in the distance. Pikachu was in that building right now, waiting for Ash to pick him and start their journey together. Ash's lip quivered. He wanted to smile, but he was feeling uneasy at the prospect. So much else seemed different about this new world already: Would Pikachu even be the same Pokemon he remembered anymore?
That particular worry vanished when he glanced down at the mark on the back of his hand. He let out a quick sigh of relief. Maybe Pikachu would be a little different… but Ash could make it so he still remembered all the good times they'd had together in their old life.
They'd still be the best of friends. That much couldn't change.
Closing his window, Ash walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out the pair of gloves he'd forgotten to bring to the bathroom with him earlier. Checking his bag to make sure he really did have all the supplies he needed, he also pulled out the piece of paper with Angie's phone number and the jewel Arceus had given him.
Ash stared at the white gem. Supposedly it would glow when the time came for Arceus to contact him for an update on how he was getting along. Ash really wished it would glow now, he had so many questions he wanted to ask about this new life, and he was suddenly feeling a hundred times more resentful to the Beyonder than he already was for plunging him into this mess.
Shaking that thought from his head, Ash put the jewel and the paper with Angie's number back in his bag. He would have to call her once he got to Viridian. Hopefully she was adjusting to this whole situation better than he was so far.
Or rather, would be. With the time Zone she was probably asleep right now.
An hour passed as Ash sat on his bed, replaying the events that had happened in the Hall of Origins and everything that had been said in his head. When the clock reached 9.30, Ash got up, took a deep breath and clenched his fist with a fiery resolve. He picked up his backpack and flung it over his shoulders, then grabbed the cap sitting on the table next to his TV, putting it on as he left the room.
And then he saw that Molly was standing by the door, looking down at the ground and dressed in the same clothes Ash had seen her wear in their previous life. Ash blinked at the little girl as she looked up at him with an unreadable expression. A moment of silence passed before a sad frown suddenly spread across Molly's face as she turned away from Ash.
"Do you… would you be happier if I wasn't around, Ash?"
Ash's eyebrows rose. Where had that come from?
"What? Why would you think that, Molly?" Ash asked with genuine concern. Molly shuffled her feet, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger.
"Some… some girls in the park…" Molly's voice was shaky, and Ash thought she was trying not to cry "I mean… um… I was just wondering… you're going away for a really long time. On your journey. And… I was just wondering… I'll see you again, right?"
A sad smile appeared on Ash's face as he suddenly realised what Molly must be feeling. Her mother had disappeared just barely a year ago. She and her father were going to be moving away for a while… and Ash was setting out on a journey, so there was no guarantee he'd be here when or if she eventually moved back.
Acting on newfound instincts, Ash kneeled down and put a hand on Molly's shoulder, smiling softly at the girl as she turned to face him.
"I'm not going to disappear Molly. And I promise I'll keep in touch and come visit you when I can. You'll see me again" Ash said. Molly's eyes began to water. Ash ruffled her hair and smiled wider "After all… you're my little sister"
Inwardly Ash couldn't believe those words were leaving his lips. But what surprised him even more was how, deep down… he felt like he really meant it.
Molly let out a sob and turned away from Ash again. Ash gave her a moment to compose herself, and when she'd finally stopped sobbing he asked "Why would you think I wouldn't want you around?"
A moment of silence.
"The other day" Molly began, visibly nervous "I was playing in the park. Some older girls were talking with each other. The oldest one was complaining about her mom… said she was really bossy to her. I said… I said she shouldn't say mean things, and her mom was just trying to help her learn and be nicer to people. And then…"
Molly gripped the sides of her skirt, looking like she wanted to cry again. Ash put his hand back on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile, and after taking a deep breath Molly continued.
"She said… she said… she said the reason Momma went away… was because I-" Tears were most certainly welling up in Molly's eyes now, and Ash was bracing himself for what she was about to say "Because I was annoying and no one would want to have me as their daughter"
Ash's eyes widened as Molly let out an anguished wail and began crying for real this time. At first he felt too awkward to respond, but after getting a grip on himself he gave Molly a tender hug and let her cry into his shoulder.
Ash recalled his initial reaction to seeing Molly in the kitchen, and how hurt Molly had seemed when he asked why she was around. And it really hit him that she must have thought that maybe that cruel girl had been right. Maybe she was annoying. Maybe Ash didn't want her around, maybe he would be glad to be away from her. And then, what would that say about her mother and why she went away?
A fresh pan of guilt swept over Ash, and he hugged Molly harder.
What felt like a whole minute passed as Molly poured her heart out. When her sobs began to quiet down, Ash pulled Molly forward to look at her face to face again and gave her a firm look.
"Your mother loved you, Molly. I know that for sure, she didn't run away and leave you. I don't care what some jerk told you, you're not annoying. Don't ever let anyone make you think what happened was your fault, because it's not"
Molly sniffled "But-but then… why did she-"
"It isn't your fault! People just go missing sometimes, but we'll find her eventually. I guarantee you that" Ash said confidently. However different this timeline had to be, if the events behind Mrs Hale's disappearance were the same, then it was guaranteed she'd be found again just like last time. Right? "But more important than that, she loved you. And she would never choose to leave you. You're a good daughter, Molly"
More sniffles. Ash ruffled Molly hair again and gave her another smile.
"And just because I have to leave for a while, that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you forever either. Sometimes friends and family move away, or go different paths in life" Ash recalled the faces of many of his friends and Pokemon in quick succession as he said that "… But that doesn't mean we forget each other, or won't meet again. I promise you that"
More tears, and Molly wrapped Ash in another hug, though this time the tears faded pretty quickly.
"I'm sorry, Ash"
Ash looked down at Molly oddly "What for?" Molly pulled back a bit to talk to his face.
"For thinking you didn't care. I know you do. I just…" Molly hesitated "… I'm really going to miss seeing you all the time. I want everything to go back the way it was"
"I know the feeling" Ash said, thinking of the world the way it was before the Beyonder changed it. He frowned, knowing what he was about to say would probably be hypocritical coming from him, but Ash still felt it was what Molly needed to hear "… But that's just life. Change happens, and you just have to get used to it. Doesn't mean every change will be bad. You'll miss me for a while, but just try and think how happy you'll be when we see each other again. And how great you'll feel when your mom is found"
Molly looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled "That… that does sound nice"
"See, no need to be all doom and gloom" Ash chuckled. Molly wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and separated from Ash, looking a lot calmer now "So, feel better now?"
Molly nodded "Yeah… I'll be okay. You're a good brother, Ash"
Ash scratched his cheek, feeling pretty proud at that "Helps to have a great little sister"
Two hours ago, Ash barely knew Molly. She was just one of many friends that he only knew for a short time and then never saw again. But now, she felt like one of the most important people in his life. A part of Ash was really worried about that feeling. The world he was living in right now was a farce, something that had to be fixed and put back to the way it was. Surely it wasn't going to do him any good in the long run to start getting attached to this version of reality and the life he had here, right?
And yet… for the moment, seeing Molly's gracious smile and the sense of brotherly pride it inspired within him… Ash couldn't find it in him to worry too much about that just now.
"Ahem"
Ash and Molly turned to see Delia looking at them from the top of the stairs, a satisfied smile on her face.
"I really hate to interrupt this moment. But it's nine fourty five, Ash. You should probably be leaving soon if you want to get your first Pokemon" Said Delia. Ash suddenly turned frantic.
"I forgot!" Ash gasped. He turned to Molly quickly "Good talk, gotta go, I'll see you at the ranch later, bye!"
And with that Ash took off down the stairs, much to the bemusement of Delia.
"It only takes ten-" Delia was cut off by a loud thump. She sighed "Also, don't run down the stairs. Keep hitting your head like that, and you won't be in any condition to travel for another week"
"Right… sorry" Ash said, getting up and rubbing the fresh bruise on his forehead. His head was probably going to be purple all day if he kept falling like that.
A moment to let his senses come back later, Ash took off out the door, waving goodbye to Delia, Molly and Mimey who now stood in the frame to see him off as he ran down the path that would lead him to Oak's Laboratory.
"Is Ash going to be okay, miss Ketchum?" Asked Molly. Delia giggled and patted the girl on the head.
"Oh, don't worry. Our Ash can seem like a goof at times, but he's brave and resourceful and determined. He'll be fine"
"Mime, mime" Mimey chimed in agreement. Delia smiled, looking out at her son's shrinking figure in the distance. Her expression softened a little.
She had long prepared herself for this day, but she had to admit to herself she still was a bit worried for Ash's wellbeing. It was a big world out there, one that could be dangerous for inexperienced trainers. She was sure he could handle it, she'd raised him the best she could to be prepared for setting out on his own, but… well, she was a mother. Who could expect her to not have reservations?
Didn't help that she was also going to miss having him around the house almost as much as Molly would. She sighed "Although, I guess I should check to make sure he packed clean underwear before he leaves the ranch"
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All of the Stars - Bucky Barnes x reader
A/N: Hey, it’s ya girl. I wrote this in 5 hours over a discord call with @captainscanadian. I love this so much, it’s definitely the one project I’m most proud of. So enjoy and I promise, I’m not a heartless monster!
Summary: Hey look, it’s a rewrite of Endgame.
Warnings: Angst, tears, death mentions, spoilers for Avengers: Endgame.
Words: 3,674
23 days post Thanos
You were in the kitchen, heavy bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep. Every night, you dreamed of Bucky. There was no escaping it, it was something you had to push through. In your dreams, it jumped from laying in bed and waking up remembering he was gone and dreaming that he was in turmoil somewhere with no one to help him. A cup of coffee sat in front of you, being the only thing that kept you awake. Behind you, Steve had arranged a plate of toast, bacon and eggs, trying to coax you into eating something. These days, mostly you laid in bed with your mp3 player, listening to the playlist you had made for Bucky, filled with songs that reminded him of his life before HYDRA and of you as well.
“C’mon, you gotta eat…Buck wouldn’t wanna see you like this.”
It was the argument they used to get you to get up and try to live nowadays. It wasn’t like they were trying to be hurtful or upset you. But in reality, it did. You didn’t want to think about what Bucky would say right now, or that he would be upset because the truth of the matter was that if he was here, you wouldn’t be like this. You wouldn’t be in an ocean of grief.
These days, you leaned on Thor as much as you could. Most people stayed away, but you and Thor spent every sleepless night on the roof, watching the stars and telling memories about the loved ones who had died. And while Thor blamed himself, you reminded him each time that it wasn’t his fault. That Thanos was the one who killed everyone and not the God of Thunder.
You accepted the plate from Steve and began to pick at the food in front of you, managing to choke down some toast. You were pushing the food around your plate when you saw the light of…something. You looked up at Steve and you both ran outside, seeing a glowing figure…was that a woman? She was holding a ship in her hands and you held your breath. A few moments later, Tony Stark stepped out with Nebula and you let go of the breath you’d been holding, seeing him alive. You hung back while he said something to Steve but had to go back inside when he embraced Pepper.
It stung, and a part of you, some hateful and angry part of you, wished he had died instead of Bucky. It wasn’t kind and it was horrible for you to think that you could be so mean, but it was true. You loved Tony, but you would give him up in a second to have James Barnes back in your arms again. You went and sat back at the counter, pushing the coffee and food away from you and staring into space. The fact was you couldn’t change what had already happened.
---------------------------
You stood next to the new girl, a woman named Carol, as what was left of the Avengers discussed what had happened in the 23 days since that day. She chuckled slightly at Tony’s banter with Rocket but when Tony started getting upset, you stopped at stood up straighter. When he started yelling at Steve, you lost it and walked between them.
“You think you’re the only person who lost someone, Stark? We all lost someone! All of us! We could point the blame at any one of us. Hell, let’s look at you. If you hadn’t driven Bucky out of the states, if you hadn’t started a god damned war, I would have had time. I could have held him every night. But instead, I get memories of a year ago, when he was on the run. When you tried to kill him. Sure, there are some happy ones, but that is the main memory, Tony. We all are to blame.”
You didn’t stick around to hear his reaction. You went straight to your room and cried. You cried for Thor who lost his brother and his entire planet. You cried for Rocket, who lost his friends, the only family he ever had. You cried for every single person on the compound, including yourself. And it didn’t stop until late into the night, when your tears had run dry and you were too exhausted.
5 Years Later
You slammed your hand over the nightstand next to your bed, trying repeatedly to hit snooze but to no avail. Instead, you had to haul yourself up to do so, and by that time, you were already well awake. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you began your morning routine. Bathroom, clothes, coffee, food, and then off to work. Ever since ‘the snap’ as people were calling it, you’d been working with Steve on his support group. It had helped you through the past 5 years, and even helped you now. You try to keep things light and go with the flow, but somedays, it’s as if all of this happened yesterday and you lay in bed, crying, wrapped up in his clothes and holding the letters he wrote you from Wakanda.
But today was a good day. So you went out the door and walked to the building where the meetings were held. You unlocked the door and set yourself to work. Brewing coffee was saved for last, but you liked to clean before everyone got there. You set up chairs and tried to at least make the room somewhat cheerful. You had put on the stereo to a soft rock station while you worked and then set up your laptop and started answering emails. A lot of grieving people simply emailed instead of coming to meetings, whether they couldn’t leave home or they just wanted to remain anonymous and you and Steve tried to answer as often as you could. It hurt that you couldn’t answer them all, but you liked knowing that you could help soothe some people’s pain. You heard the door open and looked up from your computer, giving a small smile to the blonde man who’d walked in.
“Hey Steve. Just finishing up some emails and then I was gonna head down to the store and get something for meeting tonight. Anything in particular you want?” Your head went back down to typing as Steve walked toward you and put a hand on your back.
“Whatever you pick is fine. How you holding up? Nat said she hasn’t spoken to you since last week after group.”
You knew they worried about her. You lost contact with a lot of people after the snap. Tony cut you off completely, although Pepper emailed you pictures of their daughter. You’d been to New Asgard to visit Thor once or twice, but he told you not to come back. Whether it was because you reminded him of his failure or just because he’d rather be depressed and alone, you didn’t know. But you made sure the Valkyrie kept you in the loop, making sure he was at least alive. Nat and Steve were your only friends now and while you loved them, they could be very overbearing at times.
“I’m doing okay. I uh, I’ve been redoing my apartment. New paint, new rug, all that stuff.” Your fingers moved across the keyboard, your eyes not even looking up from the screen. “I know you guys are scared I’m gonna breakdown but honestly, Rogers, I’m fine. I’m trying to move on.”
Steve looked down at you and gave a soft smile before patting you on the back and going to get chairs to set up. “Can you grab more water and maybe some MnM’s?” You chuckled and gave him a thumbs up before settling back in and finishing up emails.
About an hour later, you headed to the store, music blaring in your ears as you walked, until a song made you stop in your tracks. It was one of the songs that Bucky had heard and insisted on putting on your phone. You remembered the memory so clearly.
You had been laughing and swatting at Bucky, screeching as he pinned you underneath him and began assaulting you with kisses. Bucky had started opening up a bit more and ever since, you had the time of your life. He kissed you more and wasn’t afraid to hold you, it was amazing. Your laptop had been playing some youtube playlist of old music, trying to compile a playlist for Steve of songs he might like to listen to while on the way to different missions. All songs from the 60’s and later. When the song ‘It’s Been a Long, Long Time” by Harry, James and Helen Forrest came on, Bucky stopped and listened before standing and a ghost of a smile was on his face.
“What you thinkin’ about, Bucky?” You focused on his face before it turned to face you and he held out his hands.
“This reminds me of home. Back then, I mean. Sounds like some of the stuff we would have played back then.”
You stood up and took his hands in yours, placing one on your waist before putting your own on his shoulder and swaying gently. When a woman’s voice started to croon over the speaker, you hummed along, feeling Bucky rest his head against your own. And for a moment, you wished that you were in a snow globe. That this moment would never end and just go on forever.
You felt tears rolling down your face and quickly swiped them away. It was the one song that you refused to delete. But you always skipped it when it came on shuffle, simply for the fact it made you cry every single time. You leaned against a nearby wall and just listened, holding back every feeling until the 3 minutes concluded. You had to compose yourself. If anyone at group and especially Steve, saw your tears, they’d know that you’d been lying and that in truth, you hadn’t moved on.
After a brief time of just standing there, you took a deep breath and began again toward the store. You grabbed a case of water, enough MnM’s to feed a small army, or just one super soldier, and a medium sized platter of cookies. You paid and began your way back to the center, this time with no issues. A quick set up and a couple pots of coffee later, people started showing up. You hugged and greeted each person by name and allowed everyone some time to talk before you and Steve brought everyone to the circle and started the meeting.
“Anyone wanna start?” Steve asked, looking around. You waited about a minute before you began to speak.
“I uh…I went to the store and got water today, and our song came on.” You kept a practiced, even tone, not letting your emotion show through. “I think we all try to ignore those little signs that they’re gone…but you can’t. Because it means pretending they never existed…I think we just have to push on.”
Steve turned to you and reached over, taking your hand and squeezing. “You’re right. We gotta move on. The world is in our hands, it was left to us, guys. We gotta do something with it. Otherwise, Thanos should have killed all of us.”
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You and Steve walked into the compound, you threw your bag on the table and walked into where Nat was, sweeping past Steve and heading straight for Nat, wrapping her in a hug. “I heard you were trying to get ahold of me, even though I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to watch out for myself.” You teased, grabbing a piece of Natasha’s PB and J sandwich and taking a bite. The redhead smiled up at you and held your other hand, before you both turned to look at Steve.
“You know, I keep telling everybody that they should move on and grow. Some do, but not us.” You moved your eyes back to Nat and squeezed her hand. You sometimes forgot how much Natasha was hurting, since she rarely showed that part of her to anyone. But she had lost the only family she’d ever known. Laura, the kids, Clint…even though he wasn’t dead, he still wasn’t here and that part was hard on Nat.
“If I move on, who does this?”
“Maybe it doesn’t need to be done.” The look in both of your friend’s eyes were sad and as Nat began to speak, you felt your own eyes water up. You moved to stand behind her and lean down, wrapping your arms around her chest in an attempt to comfort her. Soon after she was finished, you heard a beep on the security camera and your jaw dropped.
“Scott?” The man was speaking about a mile a minute and you knew exactly who he was. You’d met him before the boys went to the airport, and instantly liked him. And as soon as Nat confirmed that he was actually there, you actually had some hope.
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The wave of guilt you felt as you got out of the car weighed on you. Sure, you and Tony had fought before but this time it wasn’t something trivial or unimportant. You had blamed him for Bucky dying and there wasn’t really a way to come back from that. Pepper had forgiven you, understanding your grief and letting you slide. But seeing Morgan and Tony, brought back just how selfish you had been and you hung your head in shame. Instead of talking shop with the boys, you headed inside and chatted with Pepper, even playing a little with Morgan before Pepper sent her out to save Tony from the others.
“Thanks Pepper…for letting us come here. I uh, I’m glad you and Tony got your happy ending.”
Pepper wrapped her arms around you and shook her head. “Stop blaming yourself. It’s been five years, y/n. You need to stop letting this get to you.”
You smiled and pressed a kiss to Pepper’s cheek as you saw them getting up to go. “I’m really happy for you Pepper.” As you walked toward the door, you waved goodbye to Morgan and looked up at Tony. “I’m happy for you too, Tony.” He turned and called your name but you just kept walking, following Steve to the car and climbing in the back beside Scott.
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As you made your way to New Asgard, all the nerves you had pushed away came back. You hadn’t see Thor in years. And where you once were his friend and the person whose shoulder he cried on, you now were scared to face him. What if you reminded him of the bad things and pushed him into a depressive episode? You felt so much guilt for all the people you may have hurt when the Snap was fresh.
When Val looked toward the stack of empty beer kegs, you looked at her and your face dropped. He wasn’t just depressed; he was numbing the pain with alcohol. And while Bruce and Rocket may not understand, you did. You understood just how much Thor felt and what was weighing on his mind and heart.
When you knocked on the door, you didn’t expect an answer. Even so, you let Rocket try and when you ended up in the house, you couldn’t help but look around and want to cry. You knew Thor had to be in a bad place to live like this and it hurt for you to see it, but Steve had said you would do some good to see your old friend again, and you had hesitantly agreed.
When you came face to face with the God of Thunder, you expected a lot of things. Maybe to be thrown out, maybe a kiss on the cheek or even to be ignored. You did not expect to see him shirtless with a beer belly and his long blonde hair knotted and greasy. You tried to smile, truly you did, but it surely came out as more than a grimace and when Thor wrapped his arms around you, you had to hold your breath. But in all the bad, you were just happy to see him again, in any form. And now in his arms, it almost felt like it had 5 years ago, but a lot softer.
When he let you go, and Bruce mentioned Thanos, you saw the reaction. The tears, the wetness in his voice. And the fake strength in his voice as he tried to kick them out nearly broke you. But he came with you, for the beer of course. But as he was buckling himself on the ship, you reached out and took his hand.
“I missed you, Thor.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was something and at that moment, it was the most important thing in the world. Because he was still the person she saw five years before, whether or not he knew it.
-----------------------------------
During the ‘time heist’, you stayed with Pepper and Morgan. You played games near the lake with the smallest Stark and when Pepper jetted off in the suit Tony made for her and Happy appeared instead, you knew it was the end. The question was, had they done what needed doing. God, you hoped so. When Clint had come by, and told you about Nat, it killed you. The scream that came from you, it was loud and guttural. Hadn’t you lost enough already? Had you not been through enough than to lose your best friend?
You laid on the couch with Morgan, watching one of the home videos Tony had made throughout Morgan’s childhood when you heard a commotion outside. You pressed a finger to your lips and you and Happy both went to investigate. When you saw an injured Tony, you ran toward him, as he was supported by Steve and Pepper. “Did we… Did we win?” you asked, out of breath and looking to Steve for an answer. You got a nod and fell to your knees, tears flowing from your eyes as the reality hit. Clint tapped you on the shoulder a moment later and your eyes flew up to meet his.
“By the lake. We’ll patch Tony up but you should go down to the lake.”
You nodded, and began your way there but when you looked up, your breath caught in your throat. There, back facing you, stood James Buchanan Barnes, in all his glory. For 5 years you had prayed that you would hold him again. But this time, it wasn’t a dream. He was real and he was here. You wanted to fall to your knees again and thank god or whoever had made this possible.
But instead, you ran.
Your feet grew wings and you ran toward him with a simple scream of ‘Bucky!’ echoing in the trees. He turned and caught you in his arms as your arms and legs wrapped around him, completely enveloping him in your embrace. His own hands found their place on your body, holding you tight to him and pressing his face into your neck. You couldn’t stop crying, all you could do was hold him. Because he was real, and he was here.
---------------------------------------
The table was set. Well, tables. Many laughing and smiling faces seated and there you were in the middle of it, making silly faces at Peter and Morgan from across the table. That was until you heard footsteps and you all stood, clapping as Tony sauntered in.
It had been a couple of months since the battle. A month since Thanos had been gone. Tony had almost lost his life fighting him, almost lost the little life he had for himself here. But he fought and with Bruce working on him, he was a force to be reckoned with.
“Thank you, thank you everyone. Very happy to be back.” Everyone sat back down and you slipped your hand into Bucky’s, leaning against him as you both watched Tony. “I just wanna thank each of you, because, well honestly, if it weren’t for you, we would have lost and all this would be…nothing.” He gestured to everything around him. Dinner continued on, everyone passing things around and telling stories to those who hadn’t been around or just chatting.
You stood up, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and excusing yourself, before going outside and settling yourself on the railing of the porch, looking out onto the lake. It was funny, how these things happened. You were sure that Bucky never imagined Tony as his next door neighbor but from where you sat on your porch, across the lake, you could see Tony’s house, just a short boat ride away.
While Bucky didn’t wanna stop fighting, he wanted a place where his family could be safe. So in the middle of the woods, they built their dream house, complete with your grandmother’s vintage record player sitting in the living room.
You felt a hand touch your shoulder and when you turned, you were shocked to see it was Tony.
“Hey kiddo. Nice place. Not as nice as mine, but you definitely could have done worse.” You chuckled and leaning into the man. Ever since his near death experience, you had talked. Long nights of discussing and thankfully, he forgave her. He understood, what you had said back then, and why you had felt that way. He was just so concerned and grieving and upset that he couldn’t handle any other person’s feelings at that moment.
“Thanks Tony.” You smiled before swinging yourself off the railing and pulling him back inside. “C’mon Iron Man, you got a party to get back to.” You pushed him back inside and leaned against the door frame, watching your family all play and laugh with each other.
A pretty perfect picture. And it was all yours.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#marvel x reader#thor x reader friendship#tony x reader friendship#endgame rewrite
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[Misty]
Misty walked through the forest headed towards the lost girl camp. It had been awhile since she had been there and she certainly wasn’t going to go home. She was still incredibly intoxicated but was trying to sober up before she heard a branch breaking behind her. “Hello?”
[Ash]
Out and about Ash had taken a night stroll to check his traps and secure some food. He had planted random gardens close to the lost girls camp. Sarah had said it was fine and would tend to them and they could split the food. Bag in hand Ash had found a familiar scent. Catching up to the girl he smiled stepping from the shadows. “Misty. You’re out late.” Alcohol. She was far from sober. “Had one too many?”
[Misty]
“Ash, hi.” She said looking at the male and what he was holding. “Long time no see, I...had a reasonable amount of drinks.” She shrugged. “What are you doing out so late?” She asked moving over to him.
[Ash]
He chuckled before opening the bag. “Vegetables. From the garden I have.” He said moving a little closer. “You shouldn’t be drinking and walking in the dark. You could lost or hurt.” Ash held out his arm in case she wanted help. “We should get you somewhere with food. And water. You should sleep this off.”
[Misty]
“I don’t want to go home, sorry I know you didn’t ask that but I just don’t want to. So wherever you plan on taking me, I just hope it’s not there.” Misty replied before taking his arm.
[Ash]
Tilting his head Ash was curious, but didn’t ask. Smirking he bent down and lifted Misty bridal style. “Easier this way. You look like you could use the help anyways.” Smiling he walked through the woods holding her. It wasn’t too far to the ship so he figured some light talk would help. “How have you been? Anything new in your life?”
[Misty]
Misty gasped as he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself. She looked over his features as they walked before hearing his voice, “Oh...uh I’ve been good. I just had new kids a while ago. Besides that pretty boring life. You?”
[Ash]
Smirking Ash glances down at her. “Well you look good for a new mother. Very good.” Giving a small smile he looked up as his feet hit the soft sand. “Not much honestly. Working out, redoing my spot on the ship. Got a new bed. King size.”
[Misty]
“Yeah I do not, I gained so much weight. I recently started running but Nibs doesn’t like when I wear revealing clothes so he doesn’t let me do that much.” She said having no filter drunk. “Hm and why did you feel the need to bring up your bed to me? I had no problem with the old one you used to have.”
[Ash]
“Well you can always come workout with me. I train almost every day. Full body workouts, running, the whole thing. And I won’t stop you from wearing what you look good in and what you like.” Giving a small shrug as his feet hit the deck Ash turned to start walking down the hall. “Well this way you don’t have to worry about being all cuddled up to me. Unless you want to be. I won’t argue.”
[Misty]
“I will think about it. Thank you for the offer.” Misty smiled at him as she looked up at him. “Ah I see...I guess we will just have to see how the night goes.” She replied teasingly as she looked at the ship. “I haven’t been here in a long time.”
[Ash]
Carrying her to his room Ash set Misty down on the bed and then went to shut the door. “You look like you could use a snack.” He chuckled as he pulled the veggies out and began washing them. “No? Why have you stayed away. Don’t you have friends on here?”
[Misty]
“My father was the last reason I came on the ship and he doesn’t bring good memories so I guess I just stayed away. But no, no friends. Zelda never liked me. Hook didn’t either and you well…” She trailed off as she took her heels off.
[Ash]
Listening as he cleaned the carrots Ash nodded. “Hook doesn’t like many people. But I…..” he turned off the water and paused turning to look at the girl. “I have no ill feelings towards you. I’ve always liked you. Things got messy, but that was due to being confused with the mess of Nibs. But I’ve moved on. I’ve learned to forgive him for whatever it was that happened. Now, well I don’t really think of it anymore. You’re still special to me.”
[Misty]
Misty looked at Ash as he spoke and bit her bottom lip as she thought about how to respond, “Whatever happened in the past I have forgiven. I have managed to move on as well. And before you and Nibs got together, I really liked you Ash. But I accepted that you and my best friend had feelings for each other. Back then it took awhile to bury my feelings for you.”
[Ash]
Hearing that he raised a brow and looked at Misty. That had him curious. “Well if it weren’t for Nibs I’d have been with you.” He admitted with a small smile. Moving to his closet he pulled out some warm, comfy clothes and handed them over. “Something to sleep in.”
[Misty]
She just shook her head, “You told Nibs I was a one night stand you planned on using. You never saw anything after that night with me and I see that. It’s okay.” She smiled back before standing up and taking the clothes from him. “Thank you. Where is your bathroom?”
[Ash]
“I told Nibs a lot of things. And him me. He told me we were mates for life. That he loved me. I told him you were a one night stand.” Ash said handing the clothes over. His hand brushing over hers. “Right there. Straight ahead. Next to the left side of the bed.”
[Misty]
“You also said it to me. I might have been childish and easy to please back then but that night, the way you touched me...when you said you were using me I believed you. It’s hard to accept that you lied when you said it.” Misty responded. She felt their hands touched and looked at him for a moment before heading towards the bathroom.
[Ash]
Ash didn’t answer and let her head to the bathroom. While she was there he removed his Nolan clothes slipping into simple sweat, but staying topless. Usually he did at night. It was comfier. Moving he grabbed two bowls and put ice cream in. When she emerged he held a bowl out. “Didn’t know if you wanted toppings or not. Oh and given the time, I would have loved you, maybe even married you.”
[Misty]
Misty changed into the clothes before coming out and taking the bowl from his hands. She listened to his words and dropped the bowl on the ground in shock. “Oh fuck.” She said getting on her knees and picking up the shattered pieces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry.”
[Ash]
When the bowl dropped he was slightly taken aback. Setting his bowl down he bent down to help. “No no. It’s me, I shouldn’t have said anything. Careful, don’t cut yourself.” Stopping her by taking her hands gently he removed the pieces and threw them out. “Can you grab me the rag from the counter?”
[Misty]
“No I just wasn’t prepared to hear that, I am sorry really I can get you a new bowl.” She apologized before feeling him taking her hands. “Yeah...yeah I can.” She said moving to grab the rag and handed it to Ash.
[Ash]
Taking the rag he shook his head. “No it’s really okay. It’s just a bowl.” He said taking the rag to wipe up the ice cream. “As for you go sit, here.” Handing her his bowl he smirked. Finishing cleaning the spot and wiping it down he stopped to look at her sitting on the bed. “Bet I look good on my knees. Between your legs huh.”
[Misty]
Misty made a personal note to buy Ash a new bowl before sitting down on the bed and taking his ice cream. She began eating it before hearing his words and looking down at the boy as she licked the spoon, “Looking good and being able to make me cum are two different things. You could look good but be shit.” She smirked handing Ash his ice cream back.
[Ash]
Smirking Ash crawled forward taking the bowl from her and setting it on the floor. Moving up he gently held her leg and kissed her inner thigh by her knee. “You may think you look terrible after your recent kids, but I don’t think so. You still look like a fucking goddess.” He murmured moving the kisses up as if the pants didn’t exist. He then took her hand gently kissing it. “I think it’s time for bed Misty. Don’t need you getting too worked up.”
[Misty]
She watched him move over to her and rested her hands on the bed as he set the bowl on the ground. She bit her lip as he kissed her thigh and her hands gripped the blanket under her as he moved up his kisses. Misty released a breath she didn’t know she was holding onto as she just nodded, “That is a good idea.”
[Ash]
He moved further up the bed and helped the girl get under the covers. Doing the same he pulled her closer moving hair from her face. “You know as unexpected as it was, I was telling the truth. But we can just say it’s the alcohol talking.”
[Misty] Misty looked at him as she pulled away from him. “Ash...I’m married and you have been gone and this is the first I’m hearing of any of this. Why wait until after I’m married?”
[Ash]
“Because me and Nibs were young and stupid when we got into things. We made so many mistakes throughout our relationship. We both did bad and towards the end I lost my head cause I thought he was my entire world. That him leaving me would be the death and I would have nothing. By the time I got myself together, and I was thinking clearer I realized I was too late to be with you, but also I was young and stupid. Now, well…..I’m not the same. And yet What I want with you is still the same. I don’t want to be below someone or above them. I want to be equal. I be treated like a person not their object or their belonging. And that’s what you are Misty. You’re my equal. I just realized it too late.”
[Misty]
She listened to his words before sighing as she ran her hand through her hair, “I really don’t know what you expect me to say Ash. How am I supposed to believe this now? What have you done to prove any of this?” She asked.
[Ash]
I’m not expecting anything Misty. Besides how am I supposed to prove this aside from waltzing into the castle and saying i’m stealing you from Nibs?” He chuckled nudging her playfully. “I mean I could send you gifts here and there. Take you on dates but we could say we are working on building our friendship back up as a cover.”
[Misty]
Misty just shook her head as she laughed, “You are trouble.” She replied looking at him. “I am sure Nibs will scare you off. He tends to figure things out so me lying wouldn’t be the smartest idea.” She joked.
[Ash]
“Ya well I’m prepared to deal with him. And since honesty is a thing with you I’m going to be honest too. I want you Misty, but if you do not want me and you want to be with Nibs, with your family I will understand. I don’t want to push you, but I don’t want to be on a cliff waiting forever. I will prove myself to you and if you don’t want me then I will back away.”
[Misty]
“I respect your honesty Ash. At this moment seeing where I am and how many drinks I have had I can’t give you a response but I won’t stop you from trying to prove it and us becoming friends again.” She smiled softly. “I should go though...it’s pretty clear that it might not be smart for me to stay the night.”
[Ash]
Ash sat up stopping her. “No, it’s okay. I’m not going to try anything. I’m smarter than that and i respect you. Besides Nibs would hunt me down if I did. Just stay, the bed is big enough there won’t be an issue.”
[Misty]
“No I trust that you won’t, it’s just best that I leave. I tend to make bad decisions when I’m drunk and to stop that from happening I should go. But it was good seeing you.”
[Ash]
Getting up Ash walked misty to the door. “Well at least take a blanket. It gets cold out.” grabbing a spare he tossed it gently over her shoulders. “It was good seeing you too. We will catch up soon.”
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Day 3! I can’t believe its already over! I have cried for three days straight almost and for the last day I decided to give you all a mix of crack-angst and smut! (My first smut so lets see how this goes.)
Chapters: 3/3 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Day 3 Goodbye: (Smut - Nsfw) Two years have past and fall is upon them when Eren have to face Levi with sorrow in his heart. Only that things are not always as they seem.
”I guess this is it huh…” Emerald eyes shone with unshed tears that threatened to fall any second. Eren clutched his chest hard to try and hold them in, but it was getting harder and harder to control them.
”2 years sure past quickly… Sure there were a lot of things that went wrong and there was times when I feared you would disappear as well… but I enjoyed all of our time together. I will miss you Levi and I just hope that you will find someone who loves you as much as I do… and always will.” Eren finished with a sniffle as the first tears started to pour. This was it. He always knew that this day would come eventually. There was no stopping it, but it was still heartbreaking. Having to watch Levi run off to find someone else knowing he would never see him again.
Levi had always been the strongest of them and had always been there for him even when Eren had felt like just giving up and ending it all. First when Armin had died from hunger in the cold winter leaving behind an empty hole in Eren’s chest. Then the second time when Mikasa had been taken away from them in cold blood. It had traumatized Eren to the point that he just locked himself up crying for hours. It had been the thought of Levi and Hanji that finally brought back his strength to get up from his bed.
Things had been peaceful and happy for quite some time after Mikasa’s death and Eren grew closer to the two he now called family, but things could never just stay happy could it?
Exactly one year had come and gone quickly since Armin died when the flood happened. There had been almost no warning. Eren had only managed to get Levi out by the time it reached them and they had both watched in horror as it had drowned Hanji. All Eren could remember was seeing brown disappearing under the black water.
Now back in the present Eren found himself standing before Levi who had just abruptly stopped during their hunt to just stare at the brunet. He had not made any sound, but Eren did not need any to know what was going to happen.
The second autumn had fallen upon them. The leaves were falling to the orange ground painting the surrounding in bright colours. It was time.
”Eren… Why are you crying?” Levi’s voice suddenly reached Eren’s ears, but it did not come from Levi in front of him. The voice did not surprise Eren instead it just caused the brunet to let out a loud sob.
”Because Levi is leaving me!” Eren turned sharply to face a short man with black hair styled to an undercut. Eren’s tears were now flowing freely down his red cheeks as the shorter man frowned confused at the statement.
”Levi is leaving you? Should I be aware of another Levi?” The man raised an amused brow while he crossed his arms and leaned back against the doorway behind Eren. His boyfriend gave him a half hearted glare before he suddenly pointed at the screen in front of him. Levi followed the finger and let a small smile grow on his lips. On the screen he could clearly read ’Shelter 2’ from the pause menu.
It was not a unknown fact to Levi that the first ’Shelter’ game had been one of Eren’s favourites. Shelter was a game where you played as a badger mother trying to help her babies to survive through unforgiving terrain for 2 years – one year was roughly 2 hours of gameplay. After said 2 years the babies would grow up to later leave in the fall to start the next generation. Eren had cried for days after his first badger baby had gotten eaten by a fox, but he had never reacted this strongly to the ending when they left.
It came as no surprise that Eren had bought the sequel the moment it came out. He remembered hearing his boyfriend talking about the game before it’s released and how it followed a lynx instead of a badger this time around.
”Ah. So you named one of your cubs after me? I don’t know if I should feel complimented or a bit concerned. What did you name the rest? If I remember right you named your badgers after Sasha, Connie, Isabel and Farlan.” Levi finally pushed himself off the door frame to walk over to his sniffling boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his shoulder. Eren – who was stills sitting in his chair causing him to be lower down – just leaned against Levi’s chest for comfort.
”Armin, Mikasa, Hanji and Levi. But Levi! You were the only one who survived! I’m a horrible lynx mother! Armin was white so I just lost him in the snow! Mikasa died ‘cause I was stupid and spawned the wolves! And Hanji died ‘cause I forgot what the ominous music meant! I ended up carrying Levi everywhere I went unless I hunted. And now he grew up and is going to leave mama for a new family… I’m happy but it’s so hard to just let him run off…” Eren sobbed more as he hugged Levi around his waist.
The older man smiled fondly as he loved how caring his boyfriend was even to virtual babies. His heart was bigger than a titan and Levi wished for nothing else but to just hold the man he loved in his arms. He wanted to just kiss away all of Eren’s tears and tell him how much he loved him.
”I don’t want you to leave me…” Eren’s voice was almost too low for Levi to hear as he mumbled into the older man’s shirt, but Levi had long since developed a skill to always hear anything Eren said as he did not want to miss anything his boyfriend said. So when his brain registered what Eren had said he went into action.
Eren let out a small yelp as Levi suddenly bent down to pick him up bridal style and started to carry him away from the computer and into their bedroom. Eren hid his face as he blushed from both embarrassment and shame for bringing up his insecurities. It was true that it would be hard to watch the lynx Levi leave, but what had really caused him to cry was that Eren always carried the fear that human Levi would leave him just the same one day. The man gave no such signals and always showered Eren with affection, but the fear was still there eating on him. It called him unworthy and always told him he was worth nothing.
When Levi finally stopped and put the brunet down on the soft bed Eren was quick to cover his face with his hands. He was trembling slightly as his sobs were still rocking through him. He both heard and felt when Levi moved on top of the bed to hover over him.
”Eren. Look at me.” Levi’s voice was nothing but soft and reassuring yet still Eren did not want him to see his ashamed and ugly crying face. He probably looked like a mess that needed to be cleaned up.
Levi would not have any of that as he gently grabbed Eren’s wrists and started to prey them off. He did not use much of his strength as Eren was not honestly fighting him. Levi was soon rewarded by the most beautiful man he ever seen. He thought that Eren looked stunning whatever he did even with droll on his cheek after sleeping sideways or with snot running from his red nose. Both his eyes and cheeks were red to from crying and blushing creating a stunning picture in Levi’s mind.
”You’re beautiful.” Levi’s words made Eren’s eyes grow wide and caused him to let out a loud sob as more tears flooded his banks. Levi just smiled as he leaned down to kiss them away. His lips gently kissed every part of Eren’s face. His forehead to his nose and then over to his eye lids until they found familiar lips. The kiss was so soft and tender that the tears only multiplied making Levi’s effort to erase them in vain, but he did not mind to redo it.
”Eren. I love you and that will never change. Not now and definitely not in the future.” Levi spoke nothing but the truth as he stroked Eren’s cheek tenderly. ”If anyone should be fearing anything then it’s me. I’m 15 years older than you and when I’m 75 you will be in your prime age of 50.”
Eren widened his eyes in shock at Levi’s words. He hated the thought of Levi being scared of him leaving because of his age.
”Levi! I would never leave you for that! I love you and I want to grow old with you. I bet you will look amazing with some gray hair.” Eren managed to smile through his tears as he reached out his own hand to run it through Levi’s obsidian hair. He loved the feeling of it against his skin and Eren was not lying. Levi would look amazing with some wrinkles and gray highlights.
Levi felt speechless after hearing Eren’s words as they really meant a lot to him. The thought of Eren getting bored with his old ass was not as uncommon as Eren might think, but the way Eren had shouted at him with a burning passion and without any hesitation managed to silent the hunting thoughts.
”I love you Eren.” Levi did not give Eren time to answer as he locked their lips in a heated yet tender kiss. He just ate up the sweet sound that Eren let out as his pale fingers started to run over Eren’s hoddie. They travelled down to the brunet’s waist where they wiggled their way under to tan skin.
Eren shivered delighted as he felt Levi’s fingers play with his hips and he made sure to pour out all of his emotions into the kiss until Levi could sense what he wanted to say. ’I love you too.’
The kiss was soon broken off as Levi’s hand started to travel back the same way it had started, but this time under the shirt. Eren gasped and let out a sinfully sound that made Levi shiver as his pale fingers found a pink nipple. The hand started to skilfully tease and play with the swollen nub in a way that always made his boyfriend weak to the bone.
”L-Levi. Don’t teas-mpf.” Eren got cut off by another kiss that instantly turned heated. Levi’s hand had not stopped fondling and teasing the nub yet, but made sure to give the other nipple some attention too. Eren moaned and groaned into the kiss while his own hands started to unbuttoned Levi’s shirt. He growled slightly in frustration as it did not get off fast enough. Levi broke the kiss with a sultry chuckle before he with skilled hands pulled the green hoddie off Eren with ease.
Eren had to reluctantly let go of Levi’s shirt to help him get the hoddie off. He shivered as the cold air hit his skin underneath seeing how he had skipped wearing a shirt under. The brunet glanced up at the raven shyly only to swallow hard as he took in Levi’s aroused face. Levi was sitting back on his hunches as he looked down on Eren. His cheeks were tainted red and his lips were bruised from their make out session, but it was his eyes that made Eren shiver. His pupils had blown out creation a silver ring around pure blackness that threatened to swallow him. Eren felt like a sheep being watched by a wolf that knew its prey could not escape it.
”You look like you want to eat me alive Levi.” Eren chuckled amused as he watched how Levi licked his lips and smirked.
”Oh I’m definitely going to eat you Eren. You look delicious.” Levi gave Eren a wicked smirk as he leaned down to lick Eren’s ear before whispering sultry into it. ”I’m going to devour you so only I will ever be able to have a taste of you. You will be forever mine.”
Eren shivered at the low and deep voice Levi used, but he soon started to shake and covered his face with both hands. Levi felt the trembling and shoot up worried that he had scared the brunet. He tried to pray off Eren’s hands from his face again only to hear a small giggle that had gotten muffled by the offending hands. Levi smiled as he finally understood the trembling, but the smile then turned into a smirk as his fingers suddenly attacked Eren’s side making the male explode with laughter.
”Haha! No stop! Haha!”
”Only if you tell me why you’re laughing.” Levi smirked more as he leaned down and gave his boyfriend a raspberry on his stomach.
”Levi! Haha! It tickles! You just sounded so funny!” Eren panted out as he tried to catch his breath. Levi blinked once, twice until he suddenly snorted loud with merit in his eyes. Eren smiled as he could listen to Levi laugh all day.
”Oh? You think I’m funny huh? I will show you how funny I can be.” Levi wiggled his fingers before Eren’s face making the brunet laugh more until he wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s neck to pull him down.
”Oh come here you big goof.” Eren chuckled before kissing his dorky lover. Levi just smiled into the kiss as he let his hands fall to Eren’s naked hips again where they start to rub circles on the bone. Eren let out a hum in pleasure and quickly his arousal returned. He felt how his sweat pants were getting tighter and based on the bulge he could feel against his leg, Levi was experiencing the same.
Eren arched his back causing his hips to grind up against Levi’s crotch making them both break the kiss and groan from the sweet friction. Tan hands quickly returned to get the offending white shirt off once and for all so he could get the satisfaction of admiring those toned abs. Eren’s mouth just watered at the thought of touching them.
The moment their kiss had broken Levi’s mouth had gotten busy kissing and sucking the sensitive skin around Eren’s neck while the brunet tried to get the shirt off. It might have been a funny joke, but Levi loved the taste of Eren and it always drove him mad with the mix of sea water and vanilla. It gave Levi flashbacks to Eren standing on the beach with the sun creating a halo around his head and Levi could remember how they had made love on that beach away from preying eyes. The thought made Levi pant harder for what was to come and his mouth worked on autopilot as it found Eren’s nape where he bit down.
Eren had just gotten the last button off when his eyes rolled back in a sudden pleasure. His mouth hung open in a loud moan while his back arched up again against Levi who only started to suck on the same spot. They had both figured out by accident one day that Eren was over-sensitive at the nape just where his neck ended. They had both been at shock by Eren’s loud reaction, but by now that had become Levi’s favourite spot to torture his boyfriend with bites and kisses.
”L-Levi.” Eren’s voice dragged out into a moan that sent shivers down Levi’s spin. Oh so he loved that sound. He hummed and kept suck on the spot while his nimble fingers started to work on getting Eren’s pants off. ”Unf-fair! I haven’t gotten anything off you yet. ”
Levi chuckled at Eren’s whine as he leaned back and kissed that adorable pout away. Their eyes met as the raven leaned back on his hunches again to remove his shirt painfully slow as he let it slide down his shoulders and arms giving Eren a show.
The brunet had to swallow a cup full of saliva as he took in Levi’s toned body. He wanted to just run his hands on those marvellous abs. He then admired his boyfriend’s strong and muscular arms as the fabric finally disappeared.
”Like what you see?” Levi purred as he noticed how Eren’s beautiful viridian eyes had almost completely gotten swallowed up by blackness as his arousal was obvious. Eren nodded quickly as he reached out a hand to finally touch Levi’s strong stomach before they travelled down to the swollen bulb by his pants. Levi groaned at the touch causing his naughty boyfriend to smirk.
”I sure do, but I want to see more.” Levi could not help but want to give the brunet what he wanted when he used that deep and musky voice. Eren really did not understand how much he had Levi around his fingers. He would never be able to leave him. Only death could force him to say goodbye, but even then Levi doubted he would truly leave Eren alone.
”Oh you do huh? Well we can’t have you waiting now, can we bright eyes?” Levi marvelled at the bright blush taking over Eren’s face from the nickname. He always got embarrassed by it, but Levi knew he liked it. Levi wasted no more time as he started to slowly unbuttoned and unzip his pants before peeling them off together with his black boxers. Silver was locked with viridian as they both panted from what was to come.
Eren held the eye contact until he heard Levi groan as his cock escape its tight prison. Eren knew that he was bigger than his boyfriend when it came to comparing dick size, but Levi easily beat him when it came to the thickness and damn if he did not love how it stretched him inside.
”Now it’s you who is unfair Eren.”Levi said as he ran a hand along Eren’s stomach and down past his happy trial. Eren shuddered at the touch and he would gladly make it fair again. So Eren followed the pale hand and grabbed it. With a smirk - that Levi found was too sexy – Eren started to use Levi’s hand to continue where his boyfriend had left off. The button was halfway out so it went off with ease. Levi then grabbed the zipper on his own and together they pulled it down. It did not take long until Levi released his hands from Eren’s as he started to peel the brunet pants off slow to enjoy the show of those wonderful tan legs coming into view.
”You really all beautiful, bright eyes.” Levi purred as he let his hand stroke Eren’s inner thighs where the tender skin got goosebumps. Eren groaned deep as a shudder ran through him.
”Levi I need you. I want you.” Eren moaned as Levi’s fingers brushed against his still – to Eren’s annoyance – clothed crotch. He needed the boxers off now! Levi seemed to understand the frown that had taken over his lovers face as he smirked and pressed his hand down hard on his crotch. Eren moaned even louder before he gave Levi a glare.
”Fine, fine.” Levi chuckled amused before he finally grabbed the offended fabric with his thumbs and pulled them down. He did so while kissing Eren’s check and stomach until the member finally got freed. A pale hand was instantly on it the moment it spring loose and Eren threw his head back with a out dragged moan that sounded suspiciously like ’Levi!’.
Eren was driven mad as his boyfriends skilfully hand pumped him with just the right pressure. Levi’s mouth had yet again attached itself to Eren’s nape so the pleasure was almost over the top.
”Levi! Hurry! I w- ahh want us to come togethe-ah!” Levi had bitten down on the sensitive skin the at the mere thought of Eren’s wish. Who was he to deny Eren that?
”Then you better hold it out because I’m ready to go all night long.” Levi’s voice had dropped as low as he could as he whispered into Eren’s ears. The brunet only moaned in reply.
Things started to go quick after that. Eren’s boxers finally flew of the bed, lube and condoms were being thrown onto the bed and kisses were being exchanged until Eren had three fingers inside him. It was far from enough for him and he made it known.
”Levi hurry! I need you inside me!” Levi shuddered at Eren’s needy and husky plead. He was close to the edge as well from just giving his lover pleasure. Eren whined as he removed the fingers, but his whole body was shivering from anticipation knowing what was to come next. In his lewd and aroused state Eren quickly put his hands under his tights and spread his legs wide while his clouded eyes locked on Levi.
”Oh god, Eren. You are so fucking sexy right now.” Levi cursed as he saw Eren’s ready display and he almost went in unprotected and dry from the mere sight, but Levi would never hurt him like that so he swallowed hard and fished for the condoms while keeping eye contact with Eren.
Eren’s eyes never left Levi’s as the man was getting ready. He chuckled amused as his boyfriend was hurrying to get the condom on and in his hurry dropped the lube bottle as he went to grab it. He was clearly as inpatient as Eren was.
”Levi. Come here.” Eren whispered low as he spread himself even wider and this time Levi was ready for the urge that took over him. He placed his hands on each side of Eren’s tights and positioned himself against Eren’s entrance.
”Gladly.”Levi said with a husky voice as he slid inside. Eren groaned from pleasure as he felt how Levi was stretching him out and rubbing against his inner walls. He felt amazing even though it stung.
Soon enough Levi was fully sheathed inside him as he had to hold himself back from just starting to thrust like mad. He had to let Eren adjust and be the one to give the signal. Levi looked down to where they were connected and he almost came from just the sight of Eren clenching around him.
”You feel wonderfully, bright eyes.” Levi groaned as Eren suddenly squeezed hard around him. ”Fuck! Eren!”
”L-Levi move! Please!”Levi did not need to be told twice as he pulled out so just the tip was left before he slammed in with an angle. Eren’s loud shout was his sign that he had hit his mark. Levi started to ram in quick and rough with each thrust hitting the sweet spot that made Eren see stars.
”Levi! Levi! Ah! Levi!” Eren had lost himself fully to the pleasure that his lover gave him and his voice was getting raw from a mix of his crying and his shouting, but it did not stop him from showing Levi how good it felt.
”Eren. Bright eyes.” Levi was panting and calling his boyfriend’s name just as much and every time he used the nickname Eren squeezes him making Levi curse loud only to repeat the circle.
They both knew that they would not last much longer so Levi snaked a hand around Eren’s wonderful thighs and started to pump him along with his thrusts. Eren moaned louder at the overstimulence and started to thrash around.
”L-Levi! I’m s-so close!” Eren cried out as Levi started to thrust even harder and he knew he would have a hard time walking later, but he did not care as he pulled Levi down to a heated kiss that was more tongues than lips from all their panting.
Eren widened his eyes as he felt the familiar pressure in his stomach and with one last moan he hugged Levi tight with both his arms and legs keeping the man inside him. Levi moaned loud when he felt Eren’s walls squeeze around him and with just a few more thrust he came undone into the condom.
Levi managed to pull out before he collapsed beside Eren where they both laid panting for breathe. Eren turned his head to give Levi a bright and goofy grin which Levi replied with his own.
”I love you Levi.” The brunet giggled while he moved to snuggle up against the raven’s chest. Levi smiled bigger as he hugged Eren closer.
”I love you too Eren and I always will.” He answered and kissed Eren’s soft locks. ”You know. I bet that lynx Levi found a beautiful brown male lynx that he fell in love with.”
Eren leaned back to stare at Levi with a surprised look on his face. Levi could not help but lean down to kiss his nose as he thought Eren looked adorable. Eren blushed bright at the show of affection before he giggled. ”Well that’s funny.”
”Mm?” Levi raised a curious brow at Eren’s statement. ”What’s funny?”
”The fact that I can play as lynx Levi now and that he is having babies. Does that mean he is actually a girl?” Eren giggled more as he buried his face on Levi’s chest again.
”Mm maybe or maybe he adopted them.” Levi hummed low making Eren giggle even more. ”Hey Eren.”
“Mm?”
“We should adopt a kid.”
”HUH!?”
THE END
#ereriangstweekend#ererievents#ereri#riren#Levi/eren#smut#angst#though not really#more like crack-angst#one-shot#fanfic
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Honestly, Eliza isn’t 100% sure why she’s doing this, other than that her agent told her it was a good idea. She’s given countless interviews since the accident, and she doesn’t know what really made this one any different, except that they’re in Dublin and it’s a new season. Still, she settles into the booth across from a (thankfully) unfamiliar face, nurses a hot cup of black coffee between her palms, and offers a tired, but genuine, smile. “So,” she says, drawing out the syllable and clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “What do you want to know?”
o1. Are you happy with the way the quidditch season is going so far?
She leans forward a bit, takes a sip of her coffee, and ducks her head so she doesn’t just burst out laughing. The poor kid is just doing his job. She knows that, but it’s still a funny question to ask anyone who’s played the game before. Eliza shakes her head, glancing up at the reporter from beneath her lashes. “Would you be?” It’s impolite to answer a question with a question. She knows from her rookie media training crash course, but she can’t help it. Holding out a palm, she tries again. “I mean, I miss it, you know? I miss making that big stop. I miss the roar of the crowd. I miss being on the pitch when we come up with a big win and celebrating with my teammates. It’s not like I’m not grateful to still be around the team, but it’s just...it’s different. You know?” The reporter acknowledges this and Eliza continues.
“I mean, if I can’t play, if there’s no possibility, then, yeah, I always want to see them win. I just don’t really like seeing them do it without me.” Her eyes flick up from her coffee, then, a sheepish expression making her lips downturn. “Um, but, like I said, if I can’t go, I’d want them to win. They’re still my team. Still family.”
o2. What words would you use to describe yourself?
Eliza likes this question better. Her shoulders relax and the set of her jaw is less sharp as she leans back into the cushions again. She holds up the hand not gripping her coffee cup and starts counting. “Ambitious. Stubborn. Dedicated. Athletic. Loyal.” She sets her palm flat on the tabletop, drums her fingertips against it, and smiles when the person across from her asks her to...expand, if she could. “I knew what I wanted to do from the time I was six years old and I did it. I only wanted to play for one team -the Cannons- and I did that. I’m still wearing these.” She pulls at the collar of her orange warmup sweatshirt and chuckles to herself. “I have a new goal. And that’s what I’m working on. And no, you can’t know what it is.”
o3. If you could change one aspect of your personality, what would it be?
She blinks. “I dunno. I like myself, actually.” There is one, thing, though, nagging at the back of her mind. She picks at the laminated edge of the table, just for something to do with her hands. “...maybe that loyalty. I mean, I really limited myself during the combine. I didn’t even talk to any other ownership. Not that I’d want to play anywhere else, but you always think, when you’re in situations like that, what if I hadn’t been in that game? If I was with another club, if we’d played the Wasps on a different day, maybe that Beater would’ve been in a better mood. Who knows? So, that, I guess.”
o4. Briefly talk about a defining moment in your life. What made it so important?
Eliza smirks. She points at the reporter with her index finger and shakes it at them. “Now, I know you think you know what I’m going to say, but stay on the line, here.” She pauses to drink some of her coffee while it’s still hot, and she catches the person across the table from her leaning in, interested. She’s actually good at this part -she knows that. The entire professional athlete thing came easily to her from the skillset on the pitch to this part, even if she doesn’t particularly like dealing with the media. But it’s part of the job, and she’s good at her job. “It’s the first time we lost. See, when I was at Hogwarts, my team was really pretty successful. Sure, Gryffindor had our number a few years...” She rolls her eyes at the idea and waves it off, like Gryffindor’s Cups were just some fluke. “But I was used to being successful. When I came here, when I came to the Cannons, I mean, they were in the worst losing streak the Premier League had seen in...ever. And losing? Losing teaches you how to be a better leader than winning ever does. Like, I grew up in that locker room because of my captains, and I think I was a better teammate because of it.”
o5. If you weren’t involved in the quidditch scene, what kind of job do you would have?
“Have you ever watched football? No, not American- Like, the game with the ball on the grass? It’s pretty similar to Quidditch, actually, without the magic and the flying.” Eliza digs around in her bag to find a newspaper article and sets it between them. The photographs aren’t moving -of course they aren’t; it’s a Muggle paper- but it shows the Irish National Team’s last game-winning goal. “I’d be the one stopping those shots. Do what you know, right?”
o6. What are some similarities/differences between yourself and your teammates/coworkers?
Eliza purses her lips. “Well, they’re usually on brooms and I’m not...” She kind of wishes she had a beer in front of her instead of coffee, and Eliza’s gaze drifted idly towards the coffee bar, wondering if there was some kind of alcoholic option, before pulling herself back to the interview. “We’re all really goal-oriented. You have to be to be in this league. But there’s always different personalities in the room. And I know I’m not -I don’t play with them anymore, but the team is still who I’m closest with. I might bridge them to the management now, but you’re more likely to find me out with them celebrating a win on a Saturday than...whatever Edison gets up to.” Eliza laughs, then, and shakes her head. “So I’m really serious when it comes to Quidditch, and sometimes Greg isn’t. I’m not as dedicated as Robyn, though. And Rhys and I are exactly as charming, didn’t you know? We get on well. That’s what makes a team work, I think. And yeah, we’re different, but the same where it counts.”
o7. What kind of things do you think about when you’re alone?
“You don’t have a cat, do you?” Eliza asks, arching her eyebrows. “I just mean, I do, and so I’m never really alone, because he’s literally always in my business. But I guess I think about normal things?” She’s back to picking at the laminate again, examining the chipped polish on her nails. She’d need to redo that. “I think about paying my rent and what I’m going to have for dinner and if my ex is still a horrible person. And sometimes I think about Quidditch, but I’ve been trying not to, lately.”
o8. What are three good habits and three bad habits that you have?
Eliza wrinkles her nose. “Bad first?” She gets a nod and starts counting them off with her fingers again. “I drink way too much coffee. I buys way too many brooms. And I overanalyze and blame myself for stuff a lot.” She says this all very quickly, and is already into her good habits before the poor reporter can get a follow-up question in. “For the good ones, I’m the queen of to-do lists, I still talk to my parents every week, and I only fight with one of my siblings.” That did earn a follow-up, of course, about the brother she didn’t care for. Eliza sighs and dips her head to take another drink. “He just doesn’t think the accident was his player’s fault, and I can’t really forgive that.”
o9. What is your personal philosophy?
This one’s easy. The words are out of her mouth before her brain even has time to catch up. “Work hard, stay humble. We’re Quidditch players, and yeah, kids want to be us when they grow up, but we’re just people. We make mistakes and we have lives outside of this game, even if mine right now is my cat and a muggle band. But if you want something, anything, you have to work for it. And once you get it? Don’t forget the little people.” She considers this before adding. “Unless they’re on the team that ended your career. Then you can forget them all.”
1o. Would you rather be liked or respected? Feared or loved?
“Are you asking the players these questions? Can I get a transcript? I think I’m going to be helping with scouting...” In Eliza’s mind, there was only one correct answer to each question, and they were...kind of contradictory. “First,” she says, holding up her right index finger. “I’d rather be respected. Because there are a lot of fans out there who don’t like me, but respect my game. And it’s really the same way from my end. I don’t have to like you to respect your game. I think Oliver Wood was one of the best Keepers to ever play the game, but I still wouldn’t have wanted to pay against him.” It was halfway through the answer that Eliza realized she was using the present tense, and she clears her throat before holding up her left index finger instead. “And second, I’d rather be loved. What does anyone get out of being feared? Like I said before, we’re all human beings as well as Quidditch players...you’re not going to get very far in life if you don’t have people to love and people who love you back. You have to have that balance.”
11. What are your thoughts on Puddlemere United?
A fond smile crosses her lips. She’s done with her coffee, so she flips the mug over upside down. “I hated playing them because they’re really annoying. They clog up the middle of the pitch so well, and it seemed like their Chasers were always coming at me.” An almost wistful sigh follows. “But I loved playing against them, too, because it was always a challenge. The rivalry is the best out there and we always showed up to those games. Even the ones we lost, they were some of the best ones to see as a fan.” She chews her bottom lip slightly. “I’m looking forward to being on the other side this time.” But she wasn’t, not really. Being a fan was awful; she coudn’t do anything to help.
12. What about The Chudley Cannons?
Her eyes lit up. “Them, I like.” Eliza laughs into her palm and watches the reporter’s quill taking notes. “It’s like when you go to school for the first time and find that group of weird people you finally fit in with. That’s what the Cannons are like. And I think our fans feel included, too, and we’re all one big group fighting for one thing, and when they won the Cup, I wasn’t there, but it’s almost like I was.” Almost isn’t the same, but her voice doesn’t waver anymore. So that’s a start.
13. If given a more lucrative position with another team, would you take it?
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Eliza answers, leaning in close and dropping her voice an octave or two. “Chudley isn’t the only team to offer me a job. I was offered coaching, no I’m not telling you where, but it’s not about the money. It’s about having a support system, about being close to my teammates.” The reporter, who has been nothing but gracious so far, seems intrigued by this and asks the awful question. If someone else asked you to play, though...? Eliza sighs again, more loudly this time, a bit exasperated with this whole business. It’s not worth the free cup of coffee. It might not even be worth a free drink. “No one’s asked,” is all she says.
14. Would you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?
She shakes her head. “I’m a realist. I don’t let myself get my hopes up too far or get too down in the dumps about anything.” Eliza points a finger towards her own chest. “The only person that has any say in what happens to me, is me.” That’s not entirely true and they both know it; her accident had been out of her control. But what happens after? That’s all on Eliza. “I’m not willing to believe some kind of statistical odds.” A smirk appears. “After all, the Cannons were 100/1 losers last year.”
15. What’s one thing you would change about your team, if given the opportunity?
Another softball. Eliza knows what they want to hear, and she kind of consider’s not saying it, but everyone would know she was lying if she didn’t say it. She stands up from the table, then, shrugs into her coat, and as she’s pulling a knit cap over her hair, says, “I’d be playing.” Then she turns to go.
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This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((
My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.
yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.
lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.
thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).
We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)
also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???
actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)
the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.
I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.
oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?
also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....
Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!
Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying
SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂
These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us
I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...
Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah
Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool
Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house
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Ripped
Character(s): Yoon Jeonghan
Genre: Angst :(
Word Count: 1,662
Summary: Jeonghan crafts through cloth, something that gives him endless possibilities. But something is tying him down, locking him away from that freedom.
A/N: Another snippet of what happens when I watch the VCR and decide to improve my angst writing skills. (this has been sitting around for like months lol) Honestly it’s really bad, but I don’t have much energy to go through and redo this whole thing, so I’ll just...... put this here.........
When Jeonghan found out he was a Creator, he didn’t know what area he would go off too. Would he take up working with paint like Seungcheol did? Would he carve and shape like Wonwoo and Vernon? When a younger, more powerful yet less known Creator came up, he suggested that Jeonghan work in the same field as him.
“Working with cloth?” Jeonghan had asked. Seokmin nodded.
“It’s something about it that I really like. Maybe it’s how free the cloth is until you shape it into something else, tie it together so it can no longer unravel unless your word calls for it.”
“So you’re saying that you enjoy taking away freedom?” Jeonghan teased. The younger shook his head slowly, lost in thought.
“Not at all. It might be how it makes me feel free. There’s so many things I can do with one piece of cloth.” He held up a beautiful red silk, saying it was a gift. “This... I can turn it into a blanket, gloves, a coat, a scarf, a pillow case, or a dress. If I felt like it, and conserved the cloth correctly, maybe even multiple of those.”
Jeonghan’s imagination flew with hundred -- no, thousands -- of ideas when the material was placed into his hands. “I’ll try it,” he said. Something about it just felt right.
That’s how he felt when he met you.
Something about you made everything seem right, seem okay. As another Creator, he felt that he could truly connect with you. He absolutely loved creating things of all sorts for you. Tapestries, new pajamas, blankets, you name it. He loved to make all of it.
But most of all, he loved to craft dresses. The way they flew freely with just a twirl, the way the cloth felt and allowed so much space for room, the way each and every one of them had a different shape.
You were his inspiration. His muse. Whenever he saw you at anytime all he wanted to do was create. This was certainly the cure for his block from so long ago. Jeonghan was addicted to this wonderful feeling.
Sometimes he’d watch you carefully move nimble fingers to craft the perfect scene made from whatever materials you had at hand. You were a sculptor. Unlike his soft and delicate hands, yours contrasted with his with an uncharacteristically rough touch. He marveled at them though, wondering how such beautiful hands manage to stay at work all day.
He’d play with your fingers when you took a break, a pure look of adoration on his face at all times. You’d have a sleepy and dreamy look on your face as you allowed him to talk to you about anything and everything.
Most often the topic circulated back to his work. The new dress he had in mind, the most extravagant design he had planned. He drew the patterns softly along the skin of your arm. Sometimes you were in awe at how soft his fingers were despite being pricked by needles every hour of the day. The soft curve of them had you wondering if his hands were actually real and you didn’t create him.
Ever since a mutual friend of yours told you that you could give life to your sculptures, you were terrified. Thinking about Jeonghan being with you only because he was practically forced to. It made your body cold despite the warmness he was offering.
Jeonghan was tracing a spiral on the back of your hand, his fingers gliding smoothly across your arm in more waves. He asked you if you were okay, and the gleam in your eyes told you everything you needed to know.
He was constantly drawing in a little sketchbook if he wasn’t with you or mannequins. He absolutely had to get all of his ideas down. And the more he drew, the more he created.
This drove you insane.
You kept wondering, still, about if Jeonghan were actually another being created just for creating. Or if he was a creation made by a Creator. And the only way to escape your hold on him was to distance himself by doing busywork.
Work. That’s all it was. No more did the conversations stray from one topic to the next. It’d always fo back to him and his dresses. They were beautiful, no doubt. They were surely something to be worthwhile talking about. But to come up in every conversation you had with him for the past month... Although it was irrational, the only thing you could think about was Jeonghan and his work and your problem with creating statues with a life force. Wonwoo told you about it, showed you even when you snuck away from Jeonghan for a day. When you saw the statue, cleaning up and taking care of Wonwoo with such adoration and care, you grew afraid and ran back to Jeonghan. When you had come back he was still working... like always.
You don’t know what started it. Maybe it was just some paranoid thoughts at first. Or stress. From the hard work of statues for days on end. You can’t say for sure, but nonetheless it wasn’t healthy. Your suspicion and doubt grew more and more once you noticed Jeonghan growing even more distant. He had another project in mind.
He knew you could put life into your statues. You told him and how it scared you. He had taken a hold of your hand and told you that you didn’t ever have to do that if you didn’t want to. After soothing you, he gave you a kiss on the forehead and walked off to do some more work. Jeonghan wanted to find out what he could do. Obviously he can’t make a dress speak, so maybe... just maybe... he could try to make it do something else. He’d find out.
It wasn’t until you heard Wonwoo tell you that animating the stone you worked with messed him up real good. Something happened. And that plagued your mind for the longest time.
Your thoughts traveled back to Jeonghan. What if you did create him unconsciously? Now you can’t even remember the details to how you met. What if you made a story to tell him and ended up convincing yourself as well? What if he was just a statue? Would you end up like Wonwoo and his statue? Did Jeonghan really love you?
You can’t remember really how it started. One moment you were sitting in front of an old, completed statue. The next it wasn’t there anymore. Jeonghan said it was one of his favorite pieces that you made. It used to be an animal of some sort. A sloth you think, you remember it vaguely, the shape of it’s arms. You had made it to challenge yourself on an uncommon animal to sculpt. Now, it lay by your feet in a million pieces.
You only feel bits of you still grounded. You can’t recall the feeling of the sledgehammer against your palms. Nor can you gather how you swung it over your head and blew another chunk off the statue. You can’t remember anymore. Not what this statue looked like before this, not what that one looked like, or this other one, or even the one in the corner. You can’t.
Everywhere around you is dust and pieces of stone, marble, wood, whatever you name it. It’s hazy and it’s not the particles flying everywhere in the air. It’s you. Your mind is no longer clear and you can feel yourself breaking too. This is something they warned you about.
When you are a Creator, you create. Now you are destroying. A Destroyer. That is the only thing you can call yourself at the moment, for everything else is lost. You saw a door in the dust, and headed towards it. You don’t remember that being there.
You’re in a hall. Now you’re in a room. It’s empty but it’s filled. No life around here, only empty mannequins dressed nicely. You remember something stirring inside of you. You can’t remember what. You notice you can’t remember a lot of things.
The cloth is light and soft in your fingers. Under the stress of it all, that’s all it took. You stared at the cloth in your hands, in between your fingers. Then you stared at the dress in front of you. Or... at least what was left of it. The mannequins around you also had tatters on them. Except one. The cloth around it still looks like it’s being worked on. So you leave it alone. Whatever is left inside of you tells you to leave that one alone, no matter what. Without a word more, you leave.
Jeonghan doesn’t understand what had happened. Seokmin told him that it’s what can happen to a Creator under too much stress. The divine connection between them and whatever caused their existence is what he believes is tampered with, corrupted. Jeonghan doesn’t understand why it happened to you. He can’t ask Wonwoo, he’s in tatters too over his own work. Now you. His friends have gone through it, turning into people other than his friends.
Now he’s lost you. And that tore him to shreds. He doesn’t know why you didn’t tell him sooner. Was it because he was so focused on his work? He had become so obsessed with it, wanting to better himself, figure things out, because he had been lost for so long. He thought he found himself. With you at his side, it’d been only that much better. You drove him to create, it seemed. But you also drove him away.
He was too distracted. He thought he was better, that the situation was better.
When Jeonghan found out he was a Creator, he didn’t know what area he would go off too. He certaintly didn’t think it’d end up like this. His heart ripped right out of him.
#elli writes#creator au#angst#jeonghan#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt scenarios#svt imagines#neutral pronouns
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Hey! I like your blog and recent fan of Cars since the newest movie came in! I am wondering of your thoughts about an AU scenario. What if the car that fixed the road in Radiator Springs is Jackson Storm instead? What if Storm and Doc Hudson made that first competitive race? I am curious on how would had been Storm attitude afterwards, I don't know if this had been asked before?
Welcome! :)
Okay, so an AU where it’s essentially Cars 1 with Jackson instead of Lightning? Hopefully I understood that right.
Hmm, that’s interesting. I think in order to figure that out we need to tease out the differences between rookie Lightning and rookie Jackson. One thing that comes to mind is how they treat their competitors.
In Cars 1, we see two example of how Lightning interacts with the other racers. He’s not a bit afraid to diss Chick to his face, making fun of the face that he’s always comes second with the ‘thunder after lightning’ joke. We also see Lightning talk to Strip, and he does so with at least some degree of respect. It’s obvious he’s too caught up in his own fantasies to hear what the veteran has to say, but he’s not directly rude.
In Cars 3, we see how Jackson treats Lightning, who at this point is the veteran. Their first interaction is literally Jackson telling him how much he enjoyed beating him and winning the race, and then mocking him for how old he is. Later on, Jackson is constantly threatening Lightning with the concept of retirement, trying to get in his head, and doing so effectively. And that I think is the difference. Lightning often made fun of Chick back in the day, but he’d never do so to mentally compromise him. That’s where Jackson’s worse. Jackson doesn’t seem to have respect for anyone other than himself, whereas Lightning at least knew the other racers around him his rookie season weren’t obsolete yet, and treated them as such.
So back to the point at hand - what if Jackson ended up pulling a stunt in Radiator Springs that got him road paving community service? He’d go through a lot of the same things Lightning did, having to redo the road, ending up in the cacti, finding out Doc’s past, and all that jazz. I think what would be lacking is that Jackson, while he might learn to appreciate a little hard work, still looks out for number one. I don’t see him being persuaded by Sally to appreciate the town and its history so much, and so he wouldn’t help the town out. Because he wouldn’t do that, the town wouldn’t much care for him, even after all that time. This leads me to believe that Doc wouldn’t care to follow him to California after he called the reporters and race officials.
But if he did, I think it would be super anticlimactic. Doc would want to coach him, but honestly, Jackson wouldn’t need a whole lot of help. He wouldn’t have screwed up right off the bat and lost that lap, because he wouldn’t be day-dreaming about Sally. He’d be fighting for the lead the whole race. There in that last lap, I also doubt Jackson would have stopped to go back and help Strip cross the finish line. Jackson, while interested in the Hudson Hornet’s story, wouldn’t have been so convicted by it, and wouldn’t have hesitated to cross that finish line and win after seeing the 43 crash out.
After the race, Doc and company would go back to Radiator Springs, and Jackson would continue to live his own life, never interacting with them again. Maybe he’d be a little more humble than he is now, but I don’t think the more brutal part of his personality would have changed enough to make a difference. Jackson would always look back on that week of his life with distaste.
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How do i take care od my shoes so they last?
CARING FOR YOUR SHOES 101
source: me. i'm a reparative cobbler. i literally do this for a living.ok so you have a pair of shoes of decent quality that fits (or crappy quality shoes that you wanna eek out every last bit of mileage out of in pure spite) and now you have to care for them like a doting parent, but how the fuck are you supposed to do that?? it's not as much of a production as most online how-to's makes it seem:
regular leather: if you're a dirty bitch or one of them people who likes running around in mud for no real reason, remove the excess dirt with a cloth or a soft brush. only use a little water as a last resort. if there's only regular dust and wear, just give them a quick wipe down with a cloth or something idk.apply a thin layer of cream shoe polish (Saphir creme surfine/deluxe is an excellent shoe polish and i highly recommend it. use incolore which has no colour pigments if you can't find the right shade, the shoes have multiple colours or a patina that you wanna keep or if they're brand spanking new and haven't lost any colour). allow it to dry in for like ten minutes before you polish with a cotton cloth (or an old t-shirt or a sock. it's not that important really).
suede/nubuck: remove dust and dirt gently with a suede brush (or one of them nail brushes), spray with waterproofing spray. done. use spray with colour pigments if they look sad and faded.
do these simple steps as often as you can stand, but try to do it at the very least once a month, preferably every other week. you can never do it too often tbh.
more shoe care tips, materials and products underneath the cut!
other materials:
spray textile with waterproofing spray. won't actually proof anything but will makes them easier to keep clean.
syntethic materials won’t accept any help from no shoe care products and will crack or break whenever it damn well feel like it. you can put shoe polish on the fake leather tho, just to make them look nice.
patent leather and such won't absorb any products cause the leather is covered with a thin layer of plastic, but there's special products for keeping them clean and shiny. a moist cloth tends to leave spots bc mineral residues and stuff in the water. do NOT use sour milk or other dairy products on your patent leather
white rubber soles can be maintained by simply wiping them off with a moist cloth when you get home. if really dirty, wash or take to a cobbler to wash.
rubber boots can do with some grease or oil tbh. will help prevent them from drying out.
oiled leather/nubuck tho. there's special products for these. check the labels but grease or oil spray usually does the trick.
but what about all the other stuff? like, the grease/fat/oil, the waterproofing, the washing and The Removal of The Laces™ that all the how-to's talk about?honestly, those things are often excessive and here's why:
washing: unless your shoes are actually dirty (partied too hard and spilled a drink or olive oil on them, large amounts of mud that can't be wiped off, water or salt stains etc), you don't have to wash them. water isn't good for the leather, dries it out so... only do it if you absolutely have to? preferably, take them to a professional and have them do it.
leather grease/fat/oil: honestly, this stuff IS good for the leather and you should use it. but there is such a thing as too much and y'all have no idea how many times i've had to wash a pair of shoes because the owner used too much too often and now there's clogging and fat and dust piled up at the seams like an abandoned butter factory and the shoes just look miserable. apply a thin layer and allow to dry before you apply shoe polish a few times a year. before and after putting your shoes into storage for the season, if they look and feel dry or if you wear them year round, put some on every other or third month. always BEFORE the polish.
waterproofing aka the thing every single shoe store employee tells you to do and it makes me wanna scream every time i hear it: only necessary for suede and nubuck shoes (and usable on textile, as mentioned above). seriously.
a)waterproofing your shoes won't actually make them waterproof, will only help suede to repel the stray water droplet so that it doesn't soak in. won’t help when it’s pouring down.b) proper shoe polish contains wax (is what makes shine when polished) that will protect the leather from water in the same way. adding the spray on top of that is pointless.c) can actually ruin your polish work, make it all matte and occasionally even leave stains, discolour or trap dust.d) is sold as a “fix all” for lazy people to use on all of their shoes regardless of material. fixes nothing. don’t bother unless suede.
removing the laces before polishing: ??? you don't have to? you can work around them. i mean, if you're doing a full care with grease and stuff, it might be easier to remove them but that's up to you. you might get some polish on them but unless you have light or brightly coloured laces it doesn’t hurt them. do exchange them if they break tho. (if they break easily, there might be a sharp edge that rubs at them or, and this is the most likely, you don't unlace properly before forcing your feet into your shoes. the laces take a lot of stress, be nice to them!)
other shoe care products:
wax: such as Kiwi Parade Gloss, Saphir Mirror Gloss etc. a hard-ish bit of wax product that comes in a flat tin. is used to acquire high shine on leather shoes (think spit shine). doesn't actually do that much for the shoe except shine and repel some water. a must for dress shoes but should preferably only be used on the toe cap since it can build up in seams and, if applied the bits that moves a lot, can "crack". it's not damaging to the leather but looks scruffy af. apply with one of them tiny brushes you see in shoe care stores or with a sponge/cloth. polish with a cloth, lamb wool polish glove or a horse hair brush.
fisherman grease: are you a fisherman? no? then don't use it.
quick shine or self shine: do not. contains silicone and shit that won't be absorbed by the leather and won't dry. looks amazing when fresh but will attract dust and turn matte within minutes. shit product designed to appeal to your laziness and take your money while giving you a false sense of accomplishment. seriously, if you're good with the shoe polish, all you need is a a quick rub with a cloth (or the sleeve of your shirt, back of your pant leg) to revive the shine. yes i am a little bitter about the existence of quick shine products,
mink oil: mostly used by old people and hipsters who buy into the whole "the old way is the best way". i highly advice you not to. mink oil is too good at keeping the leather soft. can easily make your shoe leather yucky soft and floppy, the shoe loses shape and turn into a sad, sagging lump. can also discolour the leather (usually into an unsightly green). only use a little if the shoe is drier than the sahara desert.
leather balm/renovateur: technically not the same but has the same usage area. generally too light for shoes but is excellent for other leather goods like jackets, bags and gloves. used the same as shoe polish: apply thin layer, let dry, polish with cloth. redo as often as you can be arsed but at least once or twice a year i mean come on, give your favourite leather bag or jacket some love!
shoe trees: please? do use. preferably made out of cedar. can be expensive but will last you a life time. they will absorb the moisture from your shoes after wear and help them retain their shape (see those creases right at the bend behind your toes? yeah, those will always show up but shoe trees will help minimize them). you can get buy with just one pair, just stick them into which ever pair you wore last. it's highly recommended that you let your shoes dry completely and rest between each use. having two pairs of shoes that you alternate between is good enough.
if you're gonna store your shoes and can't afford buying shoe trees to all your pairs, you can just stuff them with paper or bits of a foam mattress or something, just to help them keep their shape. the ones that has a metal spring in the middle and a ball at the end should be used with caution and only for a day or so at the time, since the spring loaded ball (heh) puts constant pressure on the back piece of the shoe and can actually push it out which is bad and also ugly.oh! and if your knee high boots have zippers, do make sure that zipper is straight when not worn. use a boot tree, a rolled up news paper or a stick a plastic bottle in them. just so that they don’t fold over and put stress on the zipper.
shoe deodorizer: if your shoes are leather with a leather lining and leather inner sole (AND YOU WEAR SOCKS! seriously, please always wear socks or hose or something inside your shoes at all times. or your foot sweat, dead skin and dirt will build up inside your shoes and it is Gross™), they honestly won't smell much at all. deo is unnecessary (unless you have some kind of affliction which makes your foot sweat super powered, which some people actually have and i feel for them). synthetic and fabric shoes are satan when it comes to foot odour and all you can do really is make sure to wear clean socks and change the inner sole as often as possible.
the washing machine: PLEASE. DO NOT PUT YOUR SHOES IN THE WASHING MACHINE! no, not even your converse hi-tops. seriously. all shoes are glued more or less excessively, and the heat and water will make the glue unstick and your shoes will fall apart quicker. take them to a cobbler for a wash if they're really dirty.
and finally: inspect your shoes. if you spot a seam coming out, or the sole unsticking on the inner left or the heel piece is worn down: take them to a reparative cobbler asap. do NOT try to fix it yourself (you can actually make them ten times harder or even impossible to fix). most things that breaks on leather products can actually be fixed, but the longer you let it go without addressing the damage, the worse it will get and the more expensive it will be to fix. expect to spend about half the purchase price on maintaining your shoes at a cobbler. more if they're your favourites and fit like a dream.
do try to find a good cobbler, some are absolute hacks that can ruin your shoes. if you live in a big city, go to the finer parts of town and accost a rich person and ask what cobbler shop they go to. they usually have a favourite cobbler that they remain loyal to/cling to desperately. instagram and/or facebook can also be a good place to check.
craftsmen in europe has journeyman or master "letters" (basically diplomas) that they can only acquire after they've worked in the profession for a certain amount of time and can prove that they're skilled in various parts of the job. you can ask if they have one and if they do, they're probably not completely unskilled.
rule of thumb is if the cobbler also does dry cleaning, seamstress work, plumbing and a hundred other vaguely connected things, chance is high that they aren't as good. this is largely dependent on country tho so... use your common sense.
also, don't bother with chains (such as mr minit) and those that offer quick jobs. doing a job properly takes time and care. rushing generally leads to lower quality work, as with everything. it’s up to you tho.
aaand i think that's about it!
i'll post a guide on how to buy good quality shoes that fit later, but until then, if you have any further questions, or want specific shoe or leather care advice my ask is always open and i'm happy to help :D
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ch4 (pt 1)
is that fire or is it like one of those public school yearbook picture backgrounds from the early 2000s (idk what they’re like now)
why am i even getting to see this, where did it come from
also i know that he was specifically saying this isn’t his first killing game because i understood what he was saying in Japanese and he said ��し合い. hm. it’s obvious from context anyway, but still.
i guess i’ll find out more whenever the game feels like showing me more. back to Shuichi!
he went to the dining hall right away the next morning, but the mood’s pretty bleak. there are only two people that seem to have lighter moods this morning.
Gonta isn’t a cannibal! ...probably.
haha, why did Shuichi react that way to what he said...
speaking of Gonta, though, he’s not in the dining hall right now. Kiibo says he’s probably still sleeping.
Himiko is actually also relatively energetic this morning; she tries to rally the others to be more lively. she’s obviously still depressed about what happened, but she’s trying to live positively for the sake of her friends.
Gonta shows up and tells everyone that there are more letters on the rock or whatever that thing is he keeps looking at.
this world is mine? this world is fine. this world is pine. this world is vine? this world is online. this world is--oh wait, if i found this rock in Japanese at the same point i might be able to actually piece it together.
...that doesn’t feel fair, though, so i won’t. also, i’d probably end up spoiling myself on everything accidentally while i looked for this exact rock.
my game just crashed! it loves doing that.
back to where i was... they don’t know what’s up with the writing. Monokuma and the two remaining cubs show up with some prizes:
i know where that brush is probably used! not sure about the other things, though. since the card key is somehow a motive, most of them don’t think they should mess with it, but--
you better be careful with that thing.
he runs off before anyone can stop him and Kaito goes chasing after him. the others tell Shuichi that they’ll also go track Kokichi down, so he should focus on the other two items (and the newest flashback light) for now.
oh, wait, i do know where the blue thing goes! i think. first the brush, though.
fifth floor!
:o oooh...
Tsugumi’s lab is up here!
and i guess she and Shuichi are going to have some non-alcoholic cocktails for no reason!
she says she used to make them a lot at her old job. hmm.
yeah, do it, Shuichi! cosplay with Tsumugi!
Shuichi says he’s in the middle of investigating right now, but Tsumugi just says he can do it later, then.
:D! Shuichi’s lab is up here, too! what a cozy little area~
Maki says she gets a bad feeling from this place, though. the music is all weird too.
:O
haha. a detective could easily be a criminal, given all they need to know to be effective at their job. oh! Maki basically just said the same thing.
on the other side of the room there are some files about various murders that detail the tricks used in each one.
Shuichi starts getting kind of depressed about how his talent’s only useful after people die, but then Kaito shows up. the three of them chat for a bit--Maki warns Shuichi that he’s done so well that the next culprit might aim for him, Kaito says he’ll ~protect his sidekicks~, and also apparently Kaito lost track of Kokichi. Kaito did find the flashback light while he was chasing him, though.
there’s still the other place to go to, so Kaito goes to the dining hall to wait for Shuichi to be finished.
are they flying bugs? are they actually bugs at all?
no answers there yet, either.
robot lab!
it’s very sci-fi in here, which Kiibo doesn’t like.
the game automatically goes to the dining hall after that, where everyone remaining (sans Kokichi) is gathered.
nevermind, Kokichi’s here now too. he claims he couldn’t use the card key, so he just gave up.
he goads Kaito into using the flashback light once he notices it’s there and then they all get another memory... thing.
which i tried to screenshot, but it didn’t work. oops. it was the news thing about the meteorites from before + some people rioting or something.
oh, there are the people again!
they also remember something called the “Gofer Project” that was supposed to save humanity or something, but Kokichi says he heard it failed (which some others also remember hearing). they can’t remember anything more than that.
Kaito’s reacting to Kokichi saying a bunch of things about how he wouldn’t be surprised if they were all dead and this was the afterlife or if some weird virus spread because of the meteorites or something, considering the other weird things here.
there definitely is a lot of weird stuff here, and honestly, i’m not expending the effort to figure out what’s going on. the game will tell me whenever it wants and speculating isn’t going to get me anywhere; i don’t trust that it won’t come up with some kind of ~twist~ after what it did to Kaede.
anyway, free time happens after that!
orphan assassins are pretty common in fiction! it makes sense, i guess, orphans don’t really have anything they can do about their situations and they don’t really have anyone that will object to them being trained as assassins...
she talks about how the training was a bit--how they tortured them and taught them how to die, because that’s what they had to do if they failed a mission.
Maki mentions something about how “that girl” would replace her if she ever failed, but she apparently didn’t mean to say that much, because she tells Shuichi to forget what she just said.
aw, that’s the only bit of free time i get. i was going to hang out with Tsugumi because i feel bad that i completely forgot about her in the last chapter when i was trying to figure out how many girls were left... i guess i’ll just have to do it the next chance i get.
😒
aren’t you two technically siblings or something... i don’t really know how the bears work. then again, Korekiyo was a normal human and he was in love with his sister, so whatever.
a waste of time, that’s what.
oh, they’re doing sit-ups this time! c:
...well, two of them are, anyway. Kaito eventually gets up and says he has to use the bathroom. Shuichi notes that he doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry; Maki asks if he wants her to go check on him, since she finished her 100 sit-ups already. Shuichi points out that he’d be in the boys bathroom, though, which apparently didn’t occur to Maki.
Maki decides that now is a good time to ask Shuichi if he liked Kaede. she thinks it’d be weird for him to like someone he’d only just met. Shuichi asks when it wouldn’t be weird to like someone, then. Maki doesn’t have an answer for that. she tells Shuichi to forget she asked about it, which Shuichi isn’t very happy about.
Kaito wanders back before they can talk more.
no!
he convinces them to redo their sit-ups, though only Maki can redo them all in the end.
the next morning, Shuichi runs into Maki again. she doesn’t apologize for asking what she did and upsetting him, but she does say that he assumed she didn’t actually care and that he shouldn’t have done that.
Shuichi also runs into Himiko. i guess he’s going to watch her train in the dojo now?
what
seriously, why do i ever talk to Miu. i should know better by now.
haha, Shuichi’s wondering if she’s on drugs or something... who knows. possibly.
let’s go to the dining hall!
Gonta wants to fight Monokuma. everyone else thinks that’s a terrible idea.
including Kokichi, though he thinks it’s just pointless; he says it wouldn’t stop the killing game and starts talking about who great/exciting it is and how if no one else kills someone he’ll do it, etc.
hey! you can’t just punch him like that! i mean, you can and you did, but you shouldn’t. one, he’s super tiny, that’s not even fair. two, you shouldn’t just hit people because you don’t like what they’re saying, you brute. :/
Kiibo gets him to back off by saying violence is unacceptable and can lead to murder.
um... are you okay
surprisingly, Miu steps in when Gonta says he definitely has to fight Monokuma if people are going to be fighting like this. Miu says that she’s going to ~save everyone~, so he shouldn’t be reckless like that. she claims she’s going to bring them to a world where the killing game doesn’t exist.
oh, yeah, she’s been messing with that world computer or whatever. good luck with that! hopefully no one kills you now because you let them know about it. well, vaguely. she didn’t spell it out or anything. also, hopefully that thing doesn’t do something terrible instead.
things are weird and awkward in the dining hall now after what happened! let’s leave.
:D
that was Himiko’s training! it was mostly posing and stuff, but hey, at least she’s doing better.
after that, free time! but before i do that for real, i wanted to see what Kokichi was up to, so:
haha.
i reloaded after that, since i already have all of the little friendship pieces for him or whatever.
time to see Maki again!
oh, i see. :o Shuichi’s relieved to hear that.
haha.
apparently Maki volunteered to take that girl’s place, because the scouts wanted the other girl first and Maki knew she could never be happy there. aw.
aww, she played house with the other girl! that’s so cute!
Maki, Champion Dad
(she just tells him to be quiet and stop imagining whatever it is he’s imagining.)
next up, Tsumugi! to make up for forgetting her before.
...but that’s why, you’re so plain that i actually forgot about you and then i felt bad...
Shuichi tells her she’s not plain (and he means it), but she says she is. weirdly enough, she seems to take pride in how plain she supposedly is...? she doesn’t like Shuichi explaining away things like store clerks not noticing her in a busy store.
once that’s over, it’s nighttime. Kaito seems to be feeling off again.
and so they do!
...the way the shine is in Kaito’s hair is so weird...
Kaito asks Maki what her favourite bloodtype is, which confuses her and makes Shuichi tell him he’s bad at asking questions. Kaito tells Shuichi to ask Maki something, then.
Shuichi does actually have something he’s curious about--he wants to know why she introduced herself as a Child Caregiver. Kaito says he asked that way too suddenly and they should ask her about her favourite spaceship instead, but Maki starts replying to Shuichi’s question.
she talks about the orphanage and how she used to look after the younger kids. that wasn’t a lie, then.
one day some dudes started showing up and offered to donate a lot of money to the orphanage if she went with, so she felt like she had to go.
it was extremely difficult and draining at first, but eventually she just got used to it. she still wonders what she would’ve been like if she’d just stayed at the orphanage.
after Maki shares that, the three of them just talk together about whatever comes to mind. ~they’re having fun~
gee, i wonder what Kokichi is up to
he’s having some kind of secret meeting with Monokuma about a way to make the game more ~exciting~... i guess he’s having fun too, in his own way.
the next morning, Shuichi eats breakfast!
okay, geez, you really don’t need to be like this.
i had a sword, so i get to hear about Maki’s failed katana mission. apparently she was mistaken for a cosplayer.
both Shuichi and Kaito say that the story is cuter than they expected. it wasn’t cute for Maki, since she was worried about the whole “funding for the orphanage” thing, but she’s not upset about them saying that.
speaking of Maki! time to talk to her again.
oops.
it’s kind of okay, though, because Maki thinks she died happy saving someone else, and she lives on in Maki’s memories.
Shuichi feels bad that Maki’s stuck as an assassin and wishes she could live a normal life. he offers to investigate the assassin cult, but Maki tells him that people use assassinations to deal with complicated situations. ...so he can just do his best as a detective and maybe find ways to solve those kinds of problems without assassination. then she might have to quit.
~friends~
ooh, money. i don’t really need a ton of coins or anything, though...
i decided to hang out with Himiko after that. i don’t know who the next to die will be; i might as well try to hang out with everyone left at least once if i can...
it’s kind of inconsistent due to her change in personality (she’s back to being lazy again), but that’s okay.
later, someone is at Shuichi’s door! he thinks it might be Maki or Kaito looking for him.
it’s Miu, though. she says she’s got a way for them to leave, so he should head to the computer room on the 4th floor. ...well, she’s more vulgar about it, but that’s the only important thing she’s saying.
that light was green before :/a
what the heck
didn’t you guys already put something on your heads in your flashback memories or whatever, though... are you just going to continuously go into weird computer programs or something... that doesn’t seem like an actual solution to any problems. also, what if someone does something to you while you’re in the “other world”? also also, seriously, what does this actually fix. how is this a good idea in any way.
Miu says that she didn’t even make it. Shuichi asks her who did and Monokuma pops up--apparently he did. Miu says she stayed up all night making sure nothing dangerous was left, though, so it’s completely safe.
after hearing Monokuma created it, most of them want nothing to do with it. Kokichi says there might be ~secrets~ in there, or something Monokuma left for them.
Monokuma confirms there is--if they get their hands on whatever it is, they’ll instantly know what’s going on outside of the academy.
now people want to go. eventually all of them agree to go, some more reluctantly than others (Tsugumi’s the last one to agree, with Shuichi and Himiko also being some of the last to give in).
this is going to be too tiny to see, but Kokichi’s got a little “c:” face right now and it’s cute.
this seems like it could easily go wrong.
wow, this has been tested so well
oh gosh, they’re so cute!
Maki’s super cute too~
TINY
you could just put them all in your pocket--HE JUST SMACKED KIIBO RIGHT IN THE FACE
which lets them know they can feel pain, i guess, but geez. ...actually, why can Kiibo feel pain, he’s a robot. how is that useful for him in any way.
what do you even do here, though...
:O i can run around as Shuichi.......
Miu’s got some extra stuff to explain: objects are unbreakable, they can’t be injured (though they can be hurt), and everyone’s got equal strength here to make things fair. also, to leave, you use the phone. you have to use that phone and it’s only in this room.
...so if objects don’t break and the only way to leave is via that phone, could you hypothetically bar someone in a different room and they’d never be able to escape? if they can’t break down the door or whatever’s keeping them in there and they can’t log out, they’d just get stuck, right? that seems like a legitimate concern. i’d be too afraid to leave the room with the phone, tbh
map! the salon is where the phone is.
there’s also another map that shows the rest of the world. it’s surrounded by a wall of nothing, basically. Kokichi asks Miu if she made the maps (not Monokuma) and she says she did, but Shuichi thinks something seems off about her response.
Kokichi starts to go running off so he can explore. he can’t really be stopped; Gonta decides to watch over him and make sure he doesn’t do anything weird.
once they’re gone, everyone else decides to go check out the roof.
it’s snowing and apparently it’s also cold.
i understand, Tsugumi
let’s check out the shed on the roof!
and some rolled up carpet, which he also points out.
not really relevant to this or the game, but there was an incident a while back of a kid dying in a rolled up gym mat and no one could figure out how it happened. i think they ultimately determined he just fell in and couldn’t get himself out, but people thought it was suspicious...
anyway. i tried to look through the binoculars, but it wouldn’t let me look everywhere i wanted because i accidentally got to the border. u_u
speaking of the border, it makes Kiibo think of the wall at the school.
time to go to the river~
...she’s referring to Shuichi and apparently all of the other girls agree with her... why... Shuichi did nothing to deserve this reputation...
well, whatever. he’s getting a sign so it can be used as a bridge. it can’t break, but if it falls into the river, they won’t have a way back across.
Kokichi and Gonta show back up just in time to cross the river.
the squiggly line represents a loading point.
makes sense.
chapel! Miu is apparently deciding where everyone goes when they split up. she tells Kaito to go to the roof and he protests until Kokichi implies he’s too delicate to do it, basically, at which point he’s 100% for searching the roof. u_u
Kokichi is sent to the salon, where the phone is. Gonta, Tsugumi, and Shuichi end up also going along to search the mansion. (Kokichi tells Gonta to come with, Tsugumi wants to make sure Kokichi isn’t abusing Gonta somehow, and Kaito tells Shuichi to come to the mansion.)
Maki seems pretty upset that Kaito didn’t ask her to go to the mansion. he’s oblivious, though, and asks Shuichi if he did something to upset her. u_u
MIU, NO
now Miu, Kiibo, Himiko, and Maki are stuck over there...
since there’s nothing they can do to fix it right now, the other five go investigate the mansion like they planned on doing originally.
hmmm.
that’s never a good sound.
no one has any idea what it is, though, because they can’t see anything that would’ve made that noise. Kaito’s the only one from this side that didn’t come outside and react to it, though.
there’s the board for the bridge, since the others are still stuck on the chapel side.
apparently something happened with Miu and her avatar isn’t moving.
they decide to all log off; Maki goes to the roof to look for Kaito (telling Shuichi he’s cold for not getting him in the first place). she doesn’t find him up there, though.
:/a
being completely honest here, if i could have him do that i would. not that i dislike Kaito, but i hate that ~*MANLY MACHISMO*~ stuff and it’s just baaaaaaarely balanced out by him believing in the power of friendship and whatever else.
i think Kokichi is fun and interesting, which matters more to me in fiction than someone being a helpful and good person. oops.
idk why Shuichi’s upset, it’s not like Kokichi said anything terrible to him.
you do you, Kokichi.
...except maybe don’t strangle him, because i don’t think he’d appreciate that much.
anyway, Shuichi has logged off now! and i’m going to split the post because while it’s not lagging yet, it’ll probably start up soon.
(next part)
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you know who you are
2/7/18 12:43 am
now that you’ve moved on from me completely, you probably don’t even check up on this page anymore. but in the off chance that you do, i just have a few things i want to say. and i’m saying them on here because if you are on here, it means you wanna know how i’m doing and how i’m feeling, without asking me. and if you’re not on here, i’m not gonna force my way into your text messages once again to bombard you with another long essay about how i’m feeling, because if you’re not asking and not checking up on me, you clearly don’t care. and i’m not gonna give my time and effort to someone who clearly doesn’t care. but if you are here reading this, thank you for caring enough to check up on me. and if you’re wondering, i do check up on your page too. p.s. i still check up on #she who shall not be named (until later in this post)’s page too, and i’m still convinced that all of it is about you. but so is most of mine. lol.
(i’m probably gonna reblog this once a week. to increase the chances that you might read this. eventually, of course, i will stop. and that day will be the day i will be freed from the fear of your judgement, and freed from you completely.)
first of all, i miss you. of course i miss you. you were the best friend i ever had, girlfriend or not. and i hope like hell that you miss me too. but i also wanna say that i’m sorry. i am truly and sincerely so sorry for hurting you like you said i did. you know that was never my intention and i regret anything i did to make you feel that way. i loved you. with all of my heart. through everything we’ve been through. the good, the bad, all of it. i loved you in a way i’ve never loved anyone else and if i had the chance to redo all of it all over again exactly how it happened, i would. even though i’m still in pain from how everything ended, those amazingly perfect 9 months were worth the past 3 months of emotional hell. so i’m sorry for hurting you. i hope you don’t think of me any differently than you did when we were together, because i’m still that girl. i’m still the girl that taught you new life skills and brought you to new places. i’m still the girl that pushed you outside of your comfort zone, the girl you had so much fun with for so long. i’m still that girl who never once stopped hyping you up, who was rooting for you and who never stopped believing in your talent and passion (including now). i’m still that girl who made fun of you for not knowing how to tie your shoes, or how to put on a bra. i’m still that girl who genuinely loved and cared for your family. i’m still that girl who made you feel like a goddamn princess. even through what we’ve been through the past few months, i’m still that girl. and that girl is terribly sorry that she was ever capable of hurting you in any way.
with that being said, i guess i’m still in shock at how things ended. not our relationship, that i’ve had time to process. i mean how our friendship ended. you were the one who wanted to stay best friends. you were the one who said you “still had feelings for me” and that you “weren’t actively trying to get over me”. you were the one who said you’d take it slow with her, and that you and i would take things “day by day”. hell, you even made sure she was cool with us being friends before you even made things official. not that that matters anymore... i guess i just still can’t believe that in less than a week, we went from eating every meal together and doing things best friends do, to not speaking at all. maybe even one snap a day. and it’s almost as if you made things official with her purposely while i was out of town, so that you wouldn’t have to face me and tell me in person. i would be able to accept things a little more easily if they actually happened on more reasonable terms i guess.
how am i feeling? i’m feeling a little played, if i’m being honest here. i feel like after the break up when we kept hooking up and stayed close, it’s like now i realize you basically just led me on and strung me along until the next best thing came around. and the second you found her, bam. all communications ceased. you started blowing me off, stopped asking to hang out with me, stopped talking to me completely. do you understand how that feels? to feel so used by someone you were once so dedicated to and so deeply in love with? it hurts. it fucking hurts like hell. it feels like you just needed to keep one foot planted firmly in one boat until you could step on into the next boat with the other foot and once that foot was settled, take your other foot out of the old boat, completely abandoning the old boat. like you just kept me around so you wouldn’t be so lonely, until someone else came around and you could ditch me at the first chance you got. 2 weeks. you hadn’t even known each other 2 weeks before you became official. didn’t even take 3 dates for you to kiss her. and then you kissed me the next day. remember that? i sure do. does she know about that? definitely sounds like taking it slow to me.
now this next part i just know you’re not gonna like, so read at your own discretion. i’m just writing about it because it’s been on my mind and i need an outlet; you know, because i don’t have any friends anymore? but it just blows my mind a little how fast you really have taken all this. i mean, when you really think about it, she’s really your 4th girlfriend in 2 years. Lacey, me, Caylie, her... and i was 11 months of that. isn’t that something? 3rd girlfriend since you moved out of your childhood home. think about that. now i’m no psychologist, but if you asked me, i’d say that it may or may not be correlated to the relationship you have with your parents. you and i both know that they absolutely pampered you growing up, and heck even still do at this point. and i’m not saying that your parents loving you dearly is ever a negative thing, but you depended on them your entire life, and then you moved 14 hours away from them. and right after moving out, you met me. and then you depended on me for a year and a half. you needed me. i never really admitted it, but i knew you did. you needed me to take care of you and to show you love and affection, the way you’re used to, the way your parents did/do. and then that ended. we ended. and you didn’t know what to do. you didn’t wanna depend on me anymore but you didn’t have anyone else down here to lean on emotionally. so you put up with my ass for a few more months, however frustrating it would turn out to be. and then you met her. you met someone new that you could depend on and you saw the opportunity and you took it and you ran with it. someone willing to support you and love you? didn’t hesitate for a minute. fell for her right there on the first date and less than 2 weeks later, made it official. well now that you had her, you didn’t need me to depend on anymore right? right. so you dropped me. as quickly as humanly possible. did a complete 180 degree flip and turned your back on me. left me in the dust all alone and said “good luck out there, kid.” and that fucking sucks for me. but you know, glad you’re moving on and such.
and if you think that i’m mad, you’re absolutely correct. i am mad. i’m pissed in fact. but i’m not mad that you’re with her, or anyone new for that matter, or that you’re moving on from me. i expected that much. i’m mad that you abandoned me for her. i’m mad that you replaced me with her. i’m mad that you didn’t think that we could be mature enough to stay friends while we moved on from each other. and i don’t mean see-each-other-everday best friends, i just mean you didn’t even think we could even just be friends that talked at all anymore. i’m mad that you thought that “doing the right thing” was a big ol’ fuck you to me, walking out on me at the exact moment when you knew that i needed someone by my side more than i ever have. that’s why i’m mad.
now, i know i won’t stay mad forever. because that’s not healthy. and honestly, it’s not very realistic. i knew you would move on, i just didn’t know you would hurt me even further in the process. but that’s okay. things happen, people change. we move on. you’ve clearly moved on, and now so am i. you tell me all this shit about how you want me to find my own happiness. well, i am. but i’m not doing it for you. i’m not doing it because you told me to. i’m doing it because i’ve wasted so much time and i’ve wasted so many tears on you. i’ve spent way too many nights thinking about you, when i just know you weren’t thinking about me. i’ve lost so much sleep, worried about our relationship as people. and i know that now. i know that i deserve better than the way you’ve been treating me. i know that i deserve to be truly happy, because i haven’t been truly happy in a very, very long time. i know that i have great things lying ahead for myself, whether that be in my career or my personal relationships or anything else. i know now that i can have a happy future without you. and that is so, so liberating to me considering there was a long period of time in my life where i couldn’t imagine living without you either (because i know you thought the same exact thing). i know this now. just typing this all out, i already feel so much weight lifted off my shoulders, even if you never read any of this. if we have said our final goodbyes and we have kissed our last kiss, that’s okay with me. and coming to terms with all of this, as trivial as any of it may seem to you, is such brilliant progress for me both mentally and emotionally. slow progress is progress. i’m doing just fine, and soon i’m gonna be doing great. without you. and i personally can’t wait until that day finally arrives.
#unsaid things#part of me really hopes you’re reading this#partly because it means you care enough to check up on me#partly because i do want you to hear these things i’m saying#i’m just not saying them directly to you because frankly i’m pretty sure you’re gonna explode if you see that i wrote another 4-page note#also i know i’m a bad person for thinking it#but i really hope you’re not happy with her#i really hope you miss being around me#i hope you were right when you said you couldn't imagine a life without me#i hope she doesn't treat you nearly as well as i did#so that you could see what an exceptional girlfriend i was#so that you could understand what you gave up on so many months ago#you know who you are
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So, Maybe I Need You
@saltyalienmilk asked: Fam, you should write a fanfiction where Michael calls Jeremy jemmy (*`・へ・´*)
Anon asked: Boyf riends fic idea that Jeremy and Micheal are hanging out in Micheals basement, playing video games or getting high or smth, and jere playfully calls Micheal a loser, bla bla. Michael has a small panic attack bla bla jere tries to help… basically it ends in fluff. Your really good at balancing fluff and angst so I decided to ask you, ur awesome! Bye.
Remember guys if it’s not ok you can ask for a redo! I’m sorry this isn’t the best quality but I hope you like it!! Let’s get into it:
“Dude, my man, my best bro of twelve years, are you ready?”
“Michael I was born ready.”
“Ready for what? Masturbating?”
“Michael!!”
The best feeling in the world had to be when Jeremy and Michael slipped back into their normal friendship again. Both of them never thought it’d happen, especially now that they aren’t each other’s only friend anymore. Somehow though, after a few weeks of effort, they managed to bring back a routine just like the old days. And boy, were they happy to be back in the basement again, chilling on two bean bags while Michael sets up the Nintendo 64.
Honestly this night couldn’t get any better. Jeremy had passed his final exams with way higher scores than expected, he hadn’t heard from the SQUIP in a long time, and his dad hung out with him right before he left for Michael’s. Michael had gotten a free slushee, found a sweet deal on some old retro games, and was becoming less awkward with the new friend group. To top it all off they had a bowl of party mix, a bunch of candies, and two rolled up blunts for later. It was going to be the greatest night since ever.
Michael plopped down on the bean bag next to Jeremy, leaning back and craning his neck to give the taller one a giant goofy smile.
Jeremy laughed at that, “so what game are playing?”
“What do you think, Jemmy?”
“Mario kar- I’m sorry what?”
When Jeremy turned to face Michael he saw the boy sitting there with a mischievous smirk, one that pushed his cheeks up to his eyes. His eyes held a glint that said “you heard me, boy”. See Jeremy was used to random nicknames by the other, there was even a phase where Michael had called him “Jerry baby” jokingly. Michael gave him better pet names than any girlfriend he’d ever had, and he had like…two! But…
“Jemmy? That’s a new one. Sounds like jelly.”
“It’s cute! Like you-!” The second that came out of Michael’s mouth he seemed to regret it. He instantly lost eye contact as Michael’s eyes darted around the room, his face a shade of red to rival his signature hoodie.
“Michael you think a lot of things are cute.”
“Do you not like it? I’m hurt! I give you quality names to be called by and this is how you treat me?” He held a hand to his forehead, swaying back dramatically.
Jeremy just rolled his eyes, playing around with the control as he tossed a Swedish fish into his mouth. He started to play the game, he as Luigi and Michael as Peach, then Michael picked rainbow road.
“Why do you do this to me?”
“Cause your my friend, Jemmy!”
Jeremy nearly drove right off the track, “Oh my god”
“Oh is something wrong Jemmy ? Jemmy, Jemmy, Jemmy!”
Unsurprisingly? Jeremy completely lost. There was something about that nickname and the whole way Michael said it that left his stomach with this fluttering tingle. Kinda like on those elevator drop roller coasters, you know, when they drop you. His face heated up and it was almost like…whenever Christine talked to him. Weird. Either way it was distracting and he’d lost.
Jeremy groaned as Michael swallowed up his victory and rolled in it. He took a big swig of sprite as Michael tossed his fists up and ranted about how he would always be the number one gamer.
“Ready to get your ass whooped again, nerd?” Michael smirked at him, excitement coursing through him as he happily played with the controller, ready to go.
Jeremy laughed, unable to say no to that determined face and the way Michael stuck his tongue out, “I’m the underdog now and by like, movie law, I have to win.”
“Yeah well does your movie law work with this?” Michael moved the joy key, and with a press of a button rainbow road was selected again. Dammit.
“Wha-! Dammit Michael! You’re the worst, oh my god!” Jeremy said it with a lighthearted laugh, not noticing the way Michael’s shoulders went tense. It wasn’t the first time Jeremy had said something like that of course, they tease each other like that all the time. But…now was after the SQUIP.
Jeremy prepared himself to dish out a full on beating, leaning over in his chair like a hunch back, with a way too confident smirk.
“Hey…hey Jemmy.”
“Don’t you dare start-”
“I gotta present for you, Jerm.”
“What is-”
Suddenly he was hit right off the map from a green shell, launched by no other than princess peach.
“Oh my god you’re such a nerd what the heck!” He laughed, getting right back into the swing of things once he was on track again. Michael felt his hands twitch with hesitation again, but he ignored the feeling in his gut and kept going. He had a title to uphold after all.
But then it happened again. Jeremy was behind him and Michael was too smart to just let the boy pass him, and without any tools to help him, he simply blocked Jeremy’s path.
“Cmon get out of my way loser!”
That was the last straw for the restricted beating in his heart. It broke down the bars and started rampaging like an angry gorilla in a zoo.
He felt bad, he really did. He knew he had a dependency issue and he knew that it wasn’t healthy to be so dependent on one man but…god he couldn’t help but think back to that night. Jeremy might abandon him again, leave him behind like the undeserving loser he was. No, no Jeremy didn’t mean it like that, he was being too clingy and looking to deep into it. Michael ran off the track, but when he was put back he didn’t drive. He sat there as the same music repeated itself, not realizing when it had paused. Not realizing when Jeremy had a hand on his shoulder.
“Woah, woah, Michael! …are you ok?”
Michael felt hot shame running through him. Yeah sorry man no big deal I just can’t live with the thought of you being an asshole and leaving me again. He pulled his hood up and over his head, his hands shielding his face, “yeah…yeah I’m fine. I’m sorry. I’m fine, really.”
He heard a small shuffle, and he saw the tips of Jeremy’s converse moving to face him. Jeremy must have gotten out of the bean bag and was now bent down in front of him. Jeremy wasn’t the best at comforting people, he was awkward and sweaty. But right now he’d damn well do his best for someone like Michael.
Michael felt the hand on his shoulder give a light squeeze, it was oddly grounding, “Michael…you can tell me what’s wrong, like, I’m here? I guess. Get it? Heere?”
Michael couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing Jeremy was only making those jokes to cheer him up. He took a shaky breath, focusing on the hand through the anxious fuzz in his mind. He brought a hand from his face and placed it on top of Jeremy’s.
“It’s stupid..”
“Well, not if it did this to you.”
Michael took a deep breath through his nose, the floor suddenly being the most interesting thing to look at, “I just…you know…I don’t…”
Michael’s voice wavered as little wet spots started to form on the ground, “I don’t want to lose you again.”
There was a harsh silence, one that would have convinced Michael that Jeremy had left if it wasn’t for the hand on his shoulder. He just focused on the little tear stains building up in the floor, making little splashes. He really fucked up this time. He should just keep his damn mouth shut-
A warm embrace distracted him from his thoughts, shielding him from both the world and his own thoughts. Michael quickly wrapped his own arms around Jeremy, taking in the sweet scent of blueberries, vanilla, and cigarettes from hanging out with Rich. For just a second everything felt fine.
“I’m not going anywhere, ok Michael? The SQUIP is gone…he’s gone and I- I don’t wanna lose you either”
Michael nodded, trying to stop the tears from making a wet spot on Jeremy’s shoulder with no success.
“I need you.”
“I need you too, Jemmy.”
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Hi! Would you mind doing a fluffy scenario with Mizuki? If not some fluffy (and nsfw) headcanons will do! Thank you😊
((Sure thing!))
–
It was one of those nights, the kind that keep you up into the early morning hours as your mind refuses to be quiet. It was the kind that had you staring blankly at the ceiling, wishing sleep would just wrap you up in its embrace and allow you to forget the world for a little while but it simply would not.
Having had enough of tossing and turning, of which you had been doing for the past few hours now, you decided with a long, quiet sigh that you simply could not fall asleep right now. Your mind was too restless and as you threw the warm duvet off of your body you sat up as quietly as you could as to not disturb the slumbering person next to you.
You were honestly jealous that he could fall asleep so easily, yet as you glanced over your shoulder at your beloved, a small smile formed at your lips. He was just too cute when he was sleeping, even with drool trickling down the side of his cheek, burgundy hair sticking up all over the place, and his deep snores filling the room.
With your bare feet hitting the cool, wooden flooring of your small bedroom and a chill running up your spine as a result, you did your best to stand as easily and as silently as you could, cursing internally when your old mattress let out a rather loud creak as your weight had been lifted from the springs. You really ought to look into getting a new mattress, you thought, since it was not the most comfortable of things and it had seen better days.
Saving the thought for a later day, you meandered to the kitchen, treading carefully so you wouldn’t run into anything and risk waking your boyfriend up. You slipped out of the bedroom and padded down the hall, crossing underneath the walkway that connected said hall to your destination and immediately searched for the light switch on the wall to your left. Even though it was nearly pitch black, you were able to easily locate the switch and once your hand made contact, you flipped it on and the lamp that hung from the ceiling in the center of the room, just above your island-top counter, flickered on and flooded the room with light.
You shuffled over to the fridge next and opened it, searching inside for the gallon of milk you had bought from the old convenience store just down the block from your apartment. Once found, you removed it from its shelf and set it on the counter and then searched for a mug in the cabinet directly above your sink behind you. You grabbed one of the many that you owned and set it next to the jug, poured the white liquid in just below the rim, returned the gallon to its original place in the fridge and popped your nearly full glass of milk into the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up. Your mother had always given you a cup of warm milk as a child when you had awoken in the middle of the night either due to nightmares or simply because you just could not get to sleep and it always seemed to work. You hoped that would be the case tonight.
A loud beep resonated from the microwave, signaling that your milk was done heating up and you removed the mug from inside. You then hopped up on to the red cushion of one of the few bar stools you had that surrounded your island countertop and took a sip of your beverage once you were comfortable, the warm liquid immediately heating your body up in a pleasantly familiar way.
You propped your elbows up on to the counter and held the mug with both hands, the rim grazing your lips as you took another sip and sighed contently. Glancing at the transparent clock on the wall just above your stove, the blue numbers showed that it was just now reaching 3 o’clock in the morning. You set your mug on to the surface below and lazily drew your finger around the rim, your focus not really being set on anything in particular.
You missed your mother. The feeling came out of nowhere, but the more you thought of her, the deeper you craved to see her once more, even if only for a little while. You see, she had passed away when you were only twelve years old from a nasty cold, one that the doctors were unable to find a cure for. It was horrible to see her suffer as much as she did. She fought to stay alive as best and as long as she could, but it was no use. You had been placed under the care of your grandmother, your last known living relative, after she died.
A loud yawn suddenly broke you from your reverie, and you lifted your head towards the doorway to find Mizuki standing there in nothing but his red boxer-briefs and a black T-shirt, running a tanned, calloused hand through his messy locks. “What are you doing up, love?” he asked through the yawn. His sea foam-colored eyes opening slowly to meet your own, only to have worry flash across his face suddenly. “And why are you crying? Is everything alright?”
As he hurried over to where you sat, you noticed that there were, in fact, tears streaming gently down your cheeks. You lifted a hand to wipe them away quickly, but he had beat you to it. Cupping your cheeks in his hands, his thumbs wiped away the wetness and his brows knit themselves together in concern. He tilted his head and peered into your eyes, waiting patiently for you to speak.
You sniffled and looked down at your lap, “I’m sorry,” a weak chuckle escaped your lips, “I was just thinking about my mom, that’s all. I didn’t mean to wake you up. You should go back to bed, I’ll join you in a bit.”
Hoping that would be the end of it, you waited for him to leave. Only he didn’t. Instead, he pulled the stool next to yours closer and sat down, moving his hands from your cheeks to gently grasp one of your hands and his eyes never leaving your features.
“How could I possibly go back to bed knowing that the love of my life is upset?” he questioned, giving you a small smile. He brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a gentle peck, doing what he could to comfort you.
You sighed, and as you sat there you lifted your hand to stroke his cheek, your thumb running over the tear drop tattoo under his eye. The corners of your lips quirked upward while you met his gaze, his presence alone being enough to cheer you up, at least a little bit. Nuzzling into his side, you felt his arm wrap around your waist and his nose buried itself into your hair.
You sat like that for a while, silence sweeping over you. It was a comfortable silence, and the longer you were in Mizuki’s embrace, the better you felt. He really did not need to do much to cheer you up. You were thankful for that. Finally, you pulled away and looked at him, exhaling deeply and allowing yourself to smile.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better.” you confirmed.
He then planted a kiss to your forehead lovingly. “I’m glad. Now, let’s head back to bed, yeah?”
You nodded, finishing off your milk and placing your mug into the sink. Mizuki then swept you into his arms bridal style before you could go very far, earning a small squeak from you. He laughed a bit and kissed you deeply. You felt your cheeks heat up but returned his affection nonetheless, arms wrapping around his neck as he brought you back into the bedroom.
Laying you down onto the bed gently, he pulled the duvet over you and snuggled into your side. You flipped the lamp off and got as comfortable as you could before snuggling back and slowly falling asleep soon thereafter.
–
((Eh, I’m not really happy with this one. I lost inspiration in the middle of writing it and every idea I wanted to do for it flew out the window. I hope you like it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I might end up redoing it eventually just because I’m that unhappy with it lmfao. I’ll tag it and come back to it one of these days))
#anon#anon ask#answered#my post#scenario#dmmd#dramatical murder#dmmd scenario#dramatical murder scenario#x reader#mizuki#mizuki x reader#come back to later
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