#honestly if derek got to be that brave i would pass out

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Thoughts on a Wreck-It Ralph Sterek AU, where Derek comes from a violent, first person shooter game like Halo or Call Of Duty while Stiles comes from a bright, goofy, whimsical game like Mario Kart or Splatoon?

Honestly I think the idea is awesome but super funny. You’ll also have to sit with me here because I know nothing about video games or Wreck-it Ralph. To me, Stiles will always be the person more capable of violence, even if Derek is a werewolf. So the fact that he’s in a lighthearted game is super funny.

Derek doesn’t know anything but a life of violence. He mourns for a family that was never really his; as all the time he has with them are the violent flashbacks of the story line. He hates the argents with a passion, as they were the ones who order his family’s death. That’s why his character signed up for the military, to get revenge. Stiles is a mage who has never reached his full potential. His game is an adventure game, he tries to live up to a mother he never had, as everyone always tells him that she was the most powerful mage to live. Stiles always feels like he falls short. His character is like a fox and for some odd reason is treated harsher than the villian in his game. He is always wondering what the ending of the game would be like as no one has played until the end.

While Derek probably got sick of the unending violence of his game, it’s stiles who actually crossed over. Stiles got completely mind meltingly bored of his life within the game. He got tired of being stuck and feeling like he doesn’t belong. Being the ever so curious and mischievous person he is goes looking for an exit and finds it.

He leaves his game and Deaton puts out orders to drag him back by any means necessary. Stiles ends up running to Derek’s game because he knows that the characters from his won’t be brave enough to follow him in.

Derek was in the middle of a game, hoping that whomever was playing was semi decent so he would have to watch teammates die all over again. It doesn’t matter to him that they come back to life afterwards. When an boy falls from the sky. Derek thinks he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Something clicks in his chest and for once in his life feels whole again. He can’t remember the last time he met someone so full of life.

And when stiles tells him, he escaped from his game, Derek is ecstatic that he can get away from the death of his game.

The two of them go on the run while Deaton looks to drag them back. Derek swears to protect him, stiles promises to make him laugh. They make friends though out the games that they visit, and Derek has never been happier. In the end they find out that stiles code has been tampered with (like the little girl from wreak it Ralph). Deaton had tampered with Stiles’ code to suppress his magic. Deaton had grown jealous that Stiles was more powerful than him. Always stuck to be nothing more than a mentor, a passing character. Stiles and Deaton fight, and Derek unable to leave stiles behind takes a hit for him. In his anger stiles manages to knock Deaton out but it’s not enough to save Derek.

Stiles is begging and pleading Derek to be okay, but Derek smiles at him,“I promise you, I’ll be back, I’ll wake up again.” But they both know that only works if you die within your game. Derek has died before, but this has had to be the best one. And he tells stiles this, asks him to smile. Stiles kisses Derek.

Now I have two separate way to get to the ending:

1. Stiles in that moment unlocks all his abilities, like he would have if anyone ever played his game to the end and is able to save Derek and rewrites their codes

Or 2. Derek dies there in his arms, dissolving into pixels. And he wakes up, back his game with a killer headache. Must of been a bad round last game, he can’t remember anything after the middle of the game. Strange of him to die that early. Even stranger is the pain in his chest, Derek checks for injuries but he can’t find any, but it still feels like he got shot in the heart. Derek swears that he’s forgetting something but he can’t remember what. He spends the next few games in a haze. Something in the back his head tells him that something just isn’t right. For a brief moment as he dies each game, he remembers whiskey golden eyes and the prettiest smile he even seen.

Stiles on the other hand cannot forget what it was like to lose Derek. He is dragged back to his game, in chains by Deaton. His code is locked up even tighter than before. Deaton tells him that Stiles will be stuck in this game, and he’ll never see Derek again. The pain is unbearable and this cause Stiles to try and rewrite his code to forget Derek.

****this part is not apart of the story line but I like angst so feel free to skip but Double angst: Stiles manages to erase Derek from his memories. What he doesn’t know is that this has happened over and over again. Stiles begins to feel like something is missing from his life and goes to escape, finds Derek and loses Derek over and over again. No wonder the hale pack away treated them like friends, as they’ve know each other before, but they couldn’t say anything. Each time they fall in love, desperately trying to get it right. Desperately trying to save each other. No matter what Deaton does, no matter the code that he edits. Stiles always escapes and finds Derek and every-time they fall in love.****

Back to the story line, what Deaton doesn’t know is that pain, especially pain received out side of one’s own game, changes your code. So while stiles was looking for a way to forgot Derek he finds a way to send him messages.

Derek was on edge, everyone in his game could see it. He was far more reckless now, pulling stupid stunts to get himself killed. He’s hoping to see more of the eyes and smile that haunts him. He’s in the middle of a fight with an Npc, when he gets hit in the head and sees code. So when the game ends he goes to the console, something he has never done, and looks at the code of his game.

It’s there that he finds the messages from stiles. And it’s there that he remembers who stiles is. Derek is fill with rage, as he promises to get stiles free. Deaton wouldn’t know what was coming his way. Derek was the best hunter on his team, his early kills being savage enough to warrant the nickname wolf. He was going to rip Deaton apart and laugh at his corpse.

So he packs up and leaves his game, and hunts down stiles. His picks up the friends he made on his journey with stiles (Erica, Boyd, Issac, etc.) they managed to get stiles free and Derek does what he says he would. He rips Deaton apart, for the first time in his life he relishes in the violence he causes. Stiles unlocks every line of his code and he puts Deaton in chains.

He edits the code in his game and Derek’s to allow for each other to become a character if they so choose. Derek mostly goes to Stiles game, as he hates the idea of Stiles living in his game, of being nothing more than a soldier when Stiles is so much more.

They have each other and they have a home to go to, neither of them ever feel alone again. Derek tells the story of an angel falling from the sky at their wedding. The single moment that changed his life.

Anywhere, I hope you enjoyed this!! Thanks for the ask!!

[thegeminisage]

tumblr locked me out again so here we go: yeah i mean shes underage? and hes like a full on adult who is also a legit cop, i think people wouldnt be weird about it if they didnt cast like 25 yr olds to play 16 yr olds you know? but yeah lydia parrish is always platonic no smooching involved but also i want the banshee and the hellhound to commiserate about death TOGETHERthey’re wasting time with this lacrosse game again! so much wasted time!! i don’t care about these characters!

why is scott mccall not the focus OF HIS OWN SERIES. I LOVE WHEN PARRISH IS LIKE “I AM A DEPUTY” as if that means anything in beacon hills its hilarious a small joy. that makes sense, about the counselor. maybe instead of reading it like they’re shoving it in our faces its more that her character is going into this too eagerly/blind because she is inexperienced. i can get behind that. this moment with scott and malia and argent is lovely.

i wish scott and argent’s relationship didn’t have to come at the price of allisons death but ill take it i guess. that whole sequence was so badly done? the grenade so quick and the blast zone made no sense? NOOO PARRISH GOT LOCKED UP! nooo my son. where is lydia!! WHERE IS SHE!! why is this the “anyone other than the main cast” show now???? also lydia not registering for classes is an easy fix.. like she’s presumably already accepted her admittance bc thats how college works and

and she can always defer a semester. also if argent changes his allison password i will WEEP yeah i see what you’re saying with her and brett, honestly i just wish they hadn’t introduced another new character in this season? there are plenty of villains already to pull from without having to establish someone new and pull time away from the pack. GIVE ME THE CHARACTERS I ALREADY LOVE. I AHVENT STAMPED A BULLET SINCE ALLSION DIED GOODBYE FRIEND, IVE LEFT MY BODY GOODBYE.

i guess I’m just bored with this episode? idk it feels strange and forced and not in any way what i wanted, i miss the pack :/ lydia going back to eichen house is awful and she’s so strong and i love her so much and i wish this show treated her kinder. why is she constantly put through hell!! i hate this so much. i hated that whole arc and i hate her having to relive it now. LYDIA SAVING PARRISH A+ lydia owning her banshee powers is EVERYTHING. god scott is the MAIN CHARACTER AND HE HAS BEEN

IN 3 SCENES. I’m so mad about this. why isn’t he the focus of this show i hate jeff davis. ALSO GERARD IS BACK!!! GERARD IS BACK! which as much as i hate him hopefully he’ll finally face consequences

ANON WHY IS TUMBLR ALWAYS LOCKING YOU OUT WTF thats so dumb

re: lydia and parrish absolutely like i like their relationship and since both actors are in their twenties when you like. look at it on the screen it doesn’t seem weird until you remember hey, actually, lydia is really for real in high school and he really for real is 24! like that would be worrying IRL you know? it’s the same weird dissonance i get w/ sterek - i like their scenes together a LOT they’re really funny and i enjoy their banter and relationship but i can’t see derek sleeping w/ a minor especially after what happened with kate? like on the screen it doesn’t feel AS WEIRD bc the actors are similar ages! so i see why people want to be like that about it and just kind of wave away the age thing - but in real life that would matter a BIG amount - like you would just be v aware of how much younger someone is than you if they’re still in school - i have friends younger than me who are in hs and friends younger than me who aren’t in hs and i always forget when it comes to the friends who aren’t in school but never for the ones that are. so like…none of these adults would be banging 16-17yos in my eyes i just cant see it! i just can’t! that said i really really like parrish he’s like…so cute and good and he tries hard. like he’s just a good clean boy (“i’m a deputy” honey please) and i appreciate that.

also i know like i dont mind a little side character stuff but i dont care about liam as much as they want me to - liam’s at his most interesting when he’s paired with scott, and they didn’t interact at all this episode, so :/ out of the new characters i like mason the most cause queer solidarity + very smart, and he got a cute moment earlier tho so that was nice :’)

i also really enjoyed the stuff with scott and argent and malia, i’m glad scott and malia are interacting on an organic level like…if this romance has gotta happen pls let it not be as awkward as melissa/argent, yk? honestly as sad as i am that scott and argent only started getting along after allison’s death it’s like…quickly become one of my favorite relationships which has me #shook like i never expected to enjoy that so much but i do. there’s something very neat about him asking scott to glow his eyes for him and just like…this guy used to be a werewolf hunter and now he’s comfortably working with/protecting werewolves, i could go on yk but it’s nice

RE: the pack i know literally like i’m just gonna bide my time and Wait for the shots of them all together like i feel like they’re coming, we’re still in the setup stage, but i know from the trailers eventually they’re gonna punch us in the face with nostalgia…like i dont have to trust JD on that because i saw the footage myself, yk? frankly i think this was like a bit too disjointed and someone should have gone in with lydia but like - one of the things i’m looking forward to this season is that sort of bravery that she showed us - she had to go in and do that thing she was terrified of but she did it and she kicked ASS at it, yk? and i want to see that from all of them - as much as i love them i don’t mind them suffering a little if we get to see the best of them, what they’re really made of - like obviously there’s the element of “do you trust JD to pull this off? wouldn’t trust him as far as i could throw him no” but like the POTENTIAL nugget of it is really good i think. by all means let kate come back to terrorize derek if he gets to have an eichen moment, let scott and malia and argent and all of them be afraid for a little while if they get to come out on top like this, yk? i’m Ready for it

[whump-town]

Burning House 

I’ve wanted to write Hotchniss for weeks and then Harry Styles released that motherfucking banger “As It Was” and I ended up here… I couldn’t tell you, honestly, how that happened. I have no good Hotchniss thoughts :( I want to write about them though and this is as close as I got

Fire. There was something about the way Aaron said it, the wind shifting and throwing a face full of smoke right into him. Fire. He chokes on the word. They know there’s something more to him than what they see. Experiences and fears that he won’t speak of. Emily couldn’t wrap her head around why he chose to answer this one question so bluntly, so… He just answered it. No mind games. No trickery. No grunt. Derek looked over at him, feet kicked up on his desk – “Hotch, worst way to die?” And Hotch hadn’t even looked up from his coffee. He stopped walking, frozen for just the quickest half-second before clearing his throat. Fire. And he walked away. He glances at Dave, catching Emily’s eye on the way around. Keep walking. Fire. 

That was just a week ago and maybe that’s entirely the reason Hotch never speaks. Words have so much power and Hotch’s speaking into existence is his worst fear. 

Death by fire. 

“Go.” Emily looks back to the door, the flames are crawling higher up the wall. “Emily.” She was Prentiss just ten minutes ago. His voice is much stronger then, “you sure about this, Prentiss?” He wanted to go in guns blazing, no back-up. They didn’t have time. They still don’t. But she nodded, and smirked. Dave said it would get them killed. They’re an inexplicably good team but they’re stupid together. Brave. And that kind of bravery, the comfortable kind, is what gets you killed. She thought they’d go out together. Rapid gunfire and Derek’s angry voice over their radios telling them just to hold out for a minute longer. Death by fire has far less glory. The oxygen in the room is rapidly being eaten away. The flames inched closer, making her skin itch and burn. 

His breathing is laborious and quick. 

“I’m not leaving you.” She just doesn't know what to do. Leaving is nowhere near an option. “So shut up about it.” 

Gun blazing, no back-up. That’s how they’ve always done it and she knows the team will be here any moment but they’ll be outside. Out in the yard and in their SUVs watching parts of the house fall in around them. Unable to help. Not dumb enough to think they could be of any help also running into the burning house. The team is just outside that wall, she knows, but right now it’s just her and Hotch. 

And a fucking wall. 

“Emily.” 

She presses her palms into her eyes and pushes until she sees bursts of color. He says her name again and this time she can’t help it. “What!” She turns to him finally and her anger is stalled. He’s grown pale so quickly, face colorless as he lays pinned to the ground. Pale and sweaty, she can see how damp his skin is. How he’s baking just laying there, unable to step away from the flames inching closer to his bare skin. 

“Don’t watch.” It’s a plea. Her mind grasps the sound of his voice, and plays his words over and over in her mind in an agonizing fashion. Don’t watch. He grimaces, turning his head away to pull his hand away from a hot sheet of metal. The other is pinned beneath him, twisted and horribly broken. “Please,” he repeats, “don't watch.” It’ll be quick. Fourth-degree burns don’t even hurt – there are no pain receptors left. He’ll pass out before he gets there and it’ll be so quick. Just… five or six minutes maybe, he has a good pain tolerance and the flames will hit his legs first. They’re working their way under the wall sitting across his chest. His legs will burn first and the flames will move up. His breathing is already bad, there’s something wrong with his left side. It hurts to breathe. So, just five minutes. Five minutes and it’ll be over. 

She shakes her head. No, no she won’t leave him alone. He’s her partner. 

“Emily,” he pants her name. His eyes widen a little and he tries to sit up, grunting in pain. 

She crawls over to him and grabs his free hand. “What? What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, faces pinched in pain as he tries to work through the pain. He holds his breath. 

“Aaron,” his first name feels so funny to say but he’s dying and he deserves to hear his real name. To be comforted and not left alone to die in agony all by himself just because he thinks he’s strong enough. “Breath,” she puts her hand on his head. Moves back his sweaty bangs and feels his cold skin. This house is literally burning around them and he’s cold to the touch. 

“Leave,” he gasps, squeezing her hand as tight as he can. It’s a weak grasp. “Leave, Emily. Get out of here.” He doesn’t let go of her hand though. “You can – You can lead them back,” he wheezes. “Want to–” He coughs, turning his head as he whimpers. His ribs are in agony, the coughing doesn’t help. “–want you to leave,” he rasps. “Please.”

The back of her throat hurts, and the smoke is getting to her. Even dying, pinned, and looking down the scope of impending death, he’s in charge. Maybe not really. He’s not really in charge right now but time is slipping away. She’s going to start succumbing to the smoke. Right now she can clear her throat, and fight the urge to cough but in a few more minutes? By the time the flames get to him, she won’t be able to leave. She’ll die too. She’ll have to hear him die. Listen to his screams and watch him try and fight futility to get away from the agonizing pain. And then he’ll die. And she will too. 

“You don’t have to be brave,” his voice is weak, nothing above a whisper. The fire crackles and pops loudly. It’s getting closer. A tear slips from the corner of his eye and falls back into his hair. “You’re just being stupid. Get out of here.” He lets go of her hand with one final squeeze. She holds on. “Emily,” his voice hitches, and more tears fall back into his hair. “Emily please.” 

She squeezes his hand, minutes are gone. She’s got a second. Now. She has to decide now. “Okay.” She’s in tears. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go, Hotchner.” She brushes his hair back again, and presses her forehead to his. “Guns blazing, remember?” He smiles, he’s breathing too quickly. Short, pained breaths. She lays his hand gently on his chest. “I’ll be back,” she says. “We’ll come back for you.” 

As soon as he thinks she’s out of earshot he starts coughing, it pauses her step. They’re weak, wet coughs and they stop suddenly. He doesn’t fall silent, he gets louder. Hotch screams. It starts low, even alone he tries to stifle his pained sounds. He sucks in a labored breath, silent for a terrifying moment, and then he’s loud. A purely, agonized scream. Emily has to leave him. It’s against everything she knows. She turns her back to him and keeps going. 

Her knees buckle as she steps out into the cold, clean air. Derek sees her first and yells her name as he pushes past EMTs and firemen. He picks her up off the ground and she doesn’t realize it until her head is spinning, her eyes fluttering back open. “Aaron,” she rasps. She tries to sit up but her stomach knots itself up and her throat feels too tight. She feels immediately sick as Derek stands, her body draped across his arms. “Derek,” she tries to push herself away but can’t. “No, no we have to go back.” He holds her a little tighter and stops her from throwing herself out of his arms. “Derek, we have to go back. He’s still in there!” She groans, wincing as he heads closer to the flashing lights. Her head feels like it’s going to explode. “He’s still in there, Derek.” She shouts when she realizes where he’s going, hitting his shoulder as hard as she can. It’s nothing. The blows are weak. “No! No!” She throws herself away from him as Derek puts her on the stretcher. “He’s still in there!”

Derek catches her wrists and holds them down on the stretcher. “Emily, firefighters are in–”

“Fuck you!” She bucks up off the stretcher, screaming as an EMT to her left pulls out a syringe. “He’s still in there! He’s alive!” Her screams turn into sobs, no one’s listening. They’re just going to leave him to die. To burn to death. “Derek, please,” she whines as the syringe enters her arm, cold and sharp. “He’s alone,” she whispers, “he’s gonna die alone.” 

The drugs work so fast, her mouth dries out and she blinks her eyes hard and slow. “Derek,” her fingers are cold and tight around his wrist. “Derek, please, go get him.” She shouldn’t have left him alone. She shouldn’t have left him alone to die. Surrounded by fire. Left him to die alone and afraid and in pain. “He’s scared.” Derek moves her hand so he can hold it, and puts her palm on her hair. “He’s my friend,” she whispers, fretfully turning her head. Her arm is getting heavy, her body succumbing to the sedatives. An EMT places a mask over her face and Derek holds it in place. “He’s–” her eyes shut. “He’s scared.” 

Derek moves with the stretcher and keeps holding her hand. “They’ll get him,” he promises. Alive or dead. They’ll get him. 

She sleeps through the worst of it – through almost all of it. The sedatives wear off in a few hours but her lungs are weak from smoke inhalation, they almost lose her too. It’s too much to handle. Dave is beside himself. It was just a fucking joke, he meant just to tease them. Where one goes the other follows and those words have never been more true. He signs his name on so many forms, gives his consent to do whatever the doctors think will save them. She’s intubated for two days and for forty-eight hours Dave stares blankly at the tube protruding from her mouth. They extubate, randomly, at two in the morning and Dave is right there at her side. She’s not aware but he doesn’t want her to be alone.

Aaron is in the burn unit, alive by some miracle. Barely holding on. Dave thinks the way to save him is to save her. They’re connected. It makes sense to him and all the logic is thrust at him because she’s Aaron’s proxy and Aaron is her’s and since neither can speak for the other… that power goes to him. Twenty minutes after they extubate her, they ask him to step into the hall. “The damage sustained to Agent Hotchner’s left leg–” fourth-degree burns. Dave’s never seen anything like that in his life. They want to amputate and hand him the pen. “We’ll save as much as we can.” Bilateral. At the knee is their guess but his left leg is in really bad shape. His right hand is already a mess of pins, the function undoubtedly impaired by the nature of its break. Now they’re going to amputate his legs. 

“Dave?”

He sits up, glasses discarded in a heartbeat. Thrown atop his book. “Hey, kid.” He picks her hand up in his, and brushes his thumb along her knuckles. It aches, her hand hurts where the IV sits tucked under her skin. “How you holding up?”

She looks around the empty, dark room. “He’s dead.” It’s not even a question, she’s so certain. 

“No,” Dave breathes, too quickly, not assured enough. He sits down on the corner of her bed, gets closer. Holds the side of her face in his hand, smiles despite himself. He’s just relieved to have her back. Eyes open. Breathing on her own. “No, he’s in surgery.” 

Her breath quickens, they’d told Dave to keep her calm but this he has no control over. “No?”

He strokes her cheek with his thumb, hopes to placate her before the nurses come in and kick him out. “No.”

“I want to see him.” She’s choking on tears, her throat raw and angry but she has demands to make. Things she wants. 

Dave shakes his head, “no.” They won’t allow that. Derek has been with Aaron nonstop since he was brought in. He goes through this clean room and wears a yellow drape over his clothes. Scrubs his hands dry. He’s still not allowed to touch. A fucking cold could kill Aaron at this point. 

“Dave–”

“You were barely alive,” Dave cuts her off. “A day ago, you were intubated and I thought–” He loves the two of them so much, somehow for some reason. They’re stupid and reckless and act like they’re always trying to prove something. “I thought you were going to die.” He sighs, smirking as she tries to fight even without the words. They’re on the tip of her tongue, a careful argument that’s struggling its way up. “Aaron’s–” he has to be careful with his words. Knocking at death’s door will have her out of this bed in an instant. “He’s in surgery. They’re not going to let you in there.” 

He’s just a foolish old man for thinking that would hold her back. 

It takes her until lunch. Spencer sits with her while Dave takes the middle ground of meeting with Derek. He promises to bring them both back something, not from the cafeteria. He assumes the promise of hearing about Aaron’s current state will sedate the burning hunger she has to get to him herself. And hearing it from Derek kills two birds with one stone – they amend whatever was broken by this whole shitshow and she remains bedridden safely right where she is. He’s, of course, counting his eggs before they hatch. He should know better. 

Spencer caves upon her third request for “anything but this shit” to drink. She hates grape juice and the apple juice burns her throat. “Please, Spencer–” she’s completely manipulating the power she knows she has over him. He’s upset and agonizing over what’s happened, all he wants is for someone to tell him what to do. He caves. He knows he’s not supposed to but she’s so damn convincing. 

“Okay, okay,” he already knows he’s going to get in trouble. “Do you want a coke?” He knows she does and he smiles, he can’t help himself, as he leaves to go grant her this simple request. He can’t be gone for more than five minutes but he comes back to her empty bed. He calls Dave first but no one answers and no one answers when he calls Derek either so he just sits down on the edge of the bed, awkwardly waiting for someone to come back. He can’t imagine where she’s run off to or that she simply won’t just come back on her. Dave comes back only a minute later, with two sandwiches and one rice krispy treat. 

Aaron isn’t taken back to the burn unit after the surgery. Amputating what they can from his legs alleviates the majority of the burns that need to be monitored, so he rests in the intensive care unit. Here there is less torture, even if he can’t really remember what the last two days have held everything hurts. They keep him intubated – his body attempting to recover from a bilateral amputation will be exhausting and his heart is already having a hard time keeping his body oxygenated. He’s only vaguely present even with all of the sedatives have been lifted. 

He had a conversation with Derek this morning. He can’t remember the details just fuzzy feelings. The deja-vu of going over information he’s certain he knew at some point but now doesn’t. And he thinks he saw Dave, for only a moment. He has only the memory of opening his eyes and Dave being there. No idea what he said.

“Hotch?”

A nurse had just come in, shaking his shoulder until he opened his eyes so she could ask him questions. His heart stopped in the ambulance and this was the first real chance they were getting at making sure that downtime didn’t cause brain damage. Too many pen lights – follow the light with your eyes. Too many instructions. Too many words. It all turns out to be nerve-wracking for him. He knows these tests and he’s not awake enough, not able to think clearly enough to know if he’s failing miserably. 

“Come on you lazy ass–” The skin on his bicep is pinched and he grunts, peeling his aching eyes open to find Emily smirking back at him. “Do not give me that look, if you’d answered the first ten times I said your name I wouldn’t have pinched you.” She leans over onto the table they’ve moved over his hips, it does a good job of keeping his legs out of his line of sight. She pushes a pen into his stiff fingers and lifts his wrist so the paper can sit underneath. “They tell you what happened?” That I left you? She wonders if they told him the real truth. If he remembers it the same way she does. 

He nods – all he remembers is her sweaty forehead against his, their parting words. Everything from there is blank. He wakes up pinned to the ground. Emily promises to come back. The hazy memory of pain – his skin feels like walking in the freezing wind but like pressing his hand into the stove burner. Then here. 

“I’m sorry I left you.” He attempts to speak, frowning and fighting with the tube down his throat. He ends up turning his head, pressing the tube all weird in his throat with movements he shouldn’t be making. She had to leave him. They’d both be dead. He wouldn’t let her die, she has to understand that. Emily sits up, a little too quickly, but she pushes down on his shoulder. She’s afraid to hurt him and more afraid he’s going to hurt himself getting all worked up. “Stop, for fuck sake. I take it back, I’m – I’m not sorry.” 

He makes one more final discomforted grunt, this time just because he’s worked himself up. For the first time, he can feel the band wrapped around his thigh. The sudden cliff of tight sharp agony. Pain isn’t just at the back of his mind, it’s rocking hot and heavy across his legs. Agony. His nerves feel like they’re on fire – ones that aren’t even there, he can feel them where his toes should be. 

She sees the change and she follows his gaze down to his leg. “Does…” she glances back up at him but can’t finish the thought. The pen starts scratching across the paper and she leans close to see what he’s writing. “Your handwriting is atrocious,” she lifts his hand away, holds his wrist with as little contact as possible. “Liar.” In his chicken scratch, he’s managed to write little, he’s answered her question without her having to ask it. She can’t help her satisfied smirk. 

They were worried about brain damage but she’s certain now he’s at least mostly intact. Part of him is still there. He’d be better off if the part of his brain that makes him lie about stupid shit like how much pain he’s in was oxygen deprived but, whatever, no brain damage is a good thing. Still…

She didn’t have to ask if his legs hurt for him to know what she was going to ask. It’s not that grand but it’s something – it’s everything because she left him to die in a burning building a few days ago. She thought he was dead. 

He searches for the paper but misses it. 

“Here,” she moves his hand back to the paper. “Try to write legibly this time.” 

He scowls at her which isn’t half as effective as he thinks it is. 

She flattens his hand when she starts to realize what he’s writing. “I am fine,” her tone is flat, he doesn’t believe her. “I am, stop looking at me like that.” He looks at her for a few more seconds, squints. She rolls her eyes and sees that stupid thoughtfulness in the pinched-up part of skin between his eyebrows. “You’re so annoying,” she sighs. She tries to put to words exactly what it is she should and shouldn’t say. “I broke… two ribs? Little smoke inhalation. I’m fine. You’re the one with–” they look back to his legs. 

He smirks around the tube and moves his hand back down on the paper. 

“You–” she tries to maintain annoyance but she smirks. “Isn’t it a little too soon for those jokes?” It’s an intense jumble of letters that he’s managed to write but it’s all context clues. He must be something really strong to joking right now – no legs? 

He smirks – he has to be on something really strong. He only smiles like that when she over pours the red wine (and she always over pours). 

“Emily Marie Prentiss.”

She freezes, doesn’t look behind her even though she knows who’s standing in the doorway. “Uh-oh,” she whispers, “busted.” She smiles at Dave, “hey old pal.” 

Dave crosses his arms, “you’re hurt. You need to stay in bed.” 

Hotch squeezes her hand, she glares at him – fortunately, he’s not going to say anything with a tube down his throat so for once he’s the easiest to deal with. What’s he going to do? Not gonna chase her down and he’s not gonna rat her out. This is the best. 

“My ribs hurt,” she answers shortly. “That’s it. My breathing is fine. I got all the way down here on my own!” 

She’s like dealing with a teenager, a very angsty and aggravating teenager. 

Hotch squeezes her hand again and she cuts him off with a harsh frown, “shut up.” She turns back to Dave, “I’m fine.” He doesn’t believe her. She’s preparing another comment when a nurse walks in. 

“You all aren’t supposed to be in here.”

 No amount of arguing wins Dave or Derek a moment longer in the room. 

Emily holds up her wrist when the nurse starts to come for her. “I’m hurt,” she says, pointing at the white wristband. “Feeling really dizzy. Can I have some juice?” As the nurse steps out, Emily turns back to Hotch, smirking. “You think I can convince them to bring me a bed up here?” 

Hotch frowns – it’s the Hotch version of rolling his eyes. 

“Five bucks,” she bets. He frowns and after a moment pulses his hand four times. “Twenty!?” she asks incredulously. “You are brain-damaged.” The nurse comes back in, juice in hand. “Twenties a deal,” she whispers, turning back to smile at the nurse. “Thank you so much.”

He loses twenty bucks. 

At seven o’clock they wheel her back into his room – their room, he just hasn’t realized he’s been moved between floors. She’s smiling like a mad man. 

[luvspence]

shared jackets

spencer reid x reader

synopsis: you may have forgotten your jacket (on purpose) and spencer lends you his

a/n: i have an obsession with things that say my name (it’s the narcissist in me) and i have an even BIGGER obsession with stuff that says my s/o’s name. so i saw this scene at it came to me. just babie spence in his little jacket AAA

master list!

you rubbed the back of your arms, braving the new york night in nothing but a t shirt

“we had to budget for the jackets and i always forget it in the car” you said while shaking your head

“well, i think they were a good investment. so people are actually aware i’m an fbi agent and not just some nerd with a gun” spencer replied

you laughed and looked at him

“seriously?”

“well no ones out right called me “nerd with gun” but one time we were giving the profile and someone asked me if i was the guy to fix the copy machine”

he said sticking his hands in his pockets

“god why would the copy machine guy need a gun”

he shrugged and laughed as you two continued to walk, the suvs still being a good distance

a breeze blew by and you shivered once again

“it is so cold”

“well yes, but the wind does not make it any better. it’s actually called the ‘wind chill factor’ and it refers to the rate of body heat lost due to the wind, which makes it feel colder than the actual air temperature”

you nodded and continued to rub the back of your arms to try and produce some heat

spencer watched at your hair blew over your face, and you laughed and picked the stray pieces out of the way, as it sticked annoyingly to your lip gloss.

he reached out his hand to move one last piece of hair that you missed, his cold hands gently passing over your lips and your cheek until the hair was blowing behind your head

you shuddered when his hand touched your face

“oh i’m sorry”

“oh no it’s okay! thank you actually, i’m just really really cold and your hands are very very cold” 

spencer nodded, tugging on the fbi provided windbreaker he had on

eventually he pulled it off and stuck it in front of you

“here, this will keep you warm” he said with a smile

“then what’s gonna keep you warm?”

“well, w-ell i’m much taller than you! and well um heat rises so”

“i don’t think that’s how it works”

“it’s not, but given that i am taller i do carry more body weight meaning i produce more body heat. so i will be fine. but you seem to not be”

he said as he waved the jacket in front of you

“okay, thank you” you said as you put on the jacket

a couple sizes too big, spencer was right. he was tall. so the jacket hit your lower thigh, not to mention that “dr. spencer reid” was embroidered on the front

your hands didn’t even come out of the sleeves, they just awkwardly hung in the balance as you walked

“that’s infuriating” spencer said was a raised eyebrow

“what?”

“it looks better on you than it does on me”

you laughed “not even! you look great in this jacket come on, you look great in everything!”

you didn’t mean to say the last part, but it just kind of slipped

“i do?”

he said as he laughed and straightened the tie he was wearing

“yeah, you’re the only person i know who can pull off those button up short sleeve shirts”

he blushed “well t-thank you” he said was a tight closed mouth smile

and uncomfortable amount of time went past before spencer said

“you also l-look good un everything! i mean you look good always! uh regardless. yeah. y-you’re very pretty is what i’m g-getting at” he said basking in the awkwardness

“why thank you spencer that’s very kind of you” you said

you followed up “i think you’re very pretty too”

he just smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets as you finally reached the car

you got in the middle seat, smushed next to spencer and derek on the other side

you still had his jacket on, honestly forgetting it all together

spencer didn’t though, he spent most of the car ride nervously counting the days since he had washed it, and wondering if it smelt bad, and wondering if you would notice the curry stain on the inside or the hole in the pocket

while spencer was worrying, your eyes became heavier and heavier before you eventually fell asleep, leaning your head on spencer’s shoulder unconsciously

spencer didn’t move a muscle, just carefully sliding his hand over to move a piece of hair from your face, being careful not to wake you

he sat and stared at you, your eyes shut and your face perfectly rested on his arm

his day dreams of you borrowing his jacket and sleeping on his shoulder on a normal, non-platonic basis was interrupted by morgan

“kid”

“what?”

“this is getting sad to watch”

“what? and shh don’t wake up y/n”

he laughed

“oh i’m sorry you wanna keep your girlfriend all nice and comfy”

“shut up! she’s not my girlfriend. and what’s getting sad to watch now???”

he said as he looked down to insure you were still asleep

“you and y/n. y’all obviously got something, and you obviously are in LOVE with her, don’t think i don’t notice. the jacket she’s wearing says “dr. spencer reid” for a reason!”

“okay sure whatever maybe i enjoy her company and her laugh and her face and whatever okay just her! but, it’s not reciprocated. no way she totally just sees me as a colleague”

“you know what pretty boy, i’m gonna tell you something you don’t hear often. you’re wrong”

immediately after derek said that you opened your mouth, eyes still closed

“yeah you’re wrong spencer”

he looked at you in terror “you’re up?!”

“have been ever since you shushed morgan”

he laughed nervously

“so i’m wrong?” hes asked again

“yup, so wrong. i actually purposely left my jacket in here so i could wear yours” you said sighing into spencers shoulder “it just smells so good”

[motherjoel]

you like me (spencer reid x reader)

summary: you unfortunately run out of tampons and theres only one person who can bring you some

a/n: i get terrible cramps on my period so this is honestly based off of personal experience

wc: 2.5k

tw: vomiting

-

“Are you sure you can’t make it Y/N? Girls night won't be the same without you,” Penelope begged through the phone. You could almost hear her pout.

“I’m sorry Pen, I really can’t. My uterus is seriously trying to kill me right now and I am in no position to put on a tight dress and do shots,” you laughed into the phone. Penelope sighed.

“Okay, I guess that's a reasonable excuse. I hope you feel better soon, my love. I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re okay,” she said. You loved how sweet Penelope was, and although she was upset you couldn’t make it, she most definitely understood. 

She let you go soon after that, so you decided to turn on the TV to take your mind off of the pain in your stomach. Your cramps tended to get so bad that it was difficult to walk- you sometimes even got dizzy. You decided however to brave the pain, going into your bathroom to look for some medicine to possibly end your suffering. Your heart dropped when you remembered you had left your bottle at work in your go-bag. Your heart dropped a second time when you couldn’t find any more tampons.

“Shit, shit shit,” you said to yourself, sitting on the bathroom floor and moaning in pain. Thankfully, your phone was in your pocket. You pulled it out and scrolled through your contacts, trying to decide on who to call. You didn’t want to disturb the girls night out, so you couldn’t call Pen, JJ or Emily. For obvious reasons, you decided against calling Rossi or Hotch, and you didn’t think Derek knew the first thing about menstruation. As much as you didn’t want to call your best friend and (not so) tiny work crush, he seemed like the best option at this point. Pushing your embarrassment aside, you hit the call button and let it ring.

“Hey Y/N, whats up?” Spencer asked. You would’ve internally squealed at his cute voice if you weren’t about to pass out from pain.

“Spence, hi,” you answered, said pain evident in your voice. Little did you know, Spencer felt his heart stutter at your use of the nickname “Spence.” 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, slightly worried at your pained inflection.

“Well, not really,” you sighed, pushing aside your embarrassment at your situation. “I’m currently having my time of the month and I have come to realize I am completely out of…. tampons. And medicine,” you blushed and so did he. “I was wondering if… you could possibly pick some up for me?” you asked, fingers crossed. He didn’t even have to contemplate for a second.

“Of course, give me 10 minutes,” he said before hanging up. You looked at your phone in awe before you were hit with another wave of nausea. Doubled over the toilet, your peanut butter and jelly sandwich from an hour ago made a guest appearance.

-

You had yet to move from the bathroom floor when you heard a quick knock on your door.

“It’s open!” you yelled, soon hearing the rustling of bags and footsteps following your voice. Spencer looked down at you with pity, setting the bag down on the ground and sitting next to you.

“Thank you, Spence, you really saved me,” you said, taking the bag from him and looking inside. You saw not only a box of tampons and some tylenol, but a bar of your favorite chocolate and a heating pad. 

“My mom used to make my dad get her chocolate, when they were still, you know…” he trailed off, not wanting to mention his parents' early separation. You felt bad about his eidetic memory for once- that he had to remember even the bad things. 

“Did you know that menstrual cravings are caused by hormonal imbalances? It’s theorized that the drop in your progesterone and estrogen cause an increase in hunger,” he explained, speaking with his hands. You couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“What?” he asked, a confused smile on his face.

“It’s just… I'm sitting here on my bathroom floor with my coworker, who is incredibly sweet for doing this by the way, while I basically die from period cramps 10 minutes after throwing up,” you continued to laugh- Spencer just looked concerned.

“You threw up?” he asked, worry written on his face. You nodded, opening the box of tampons as Spencer walked into your kitchen.

“You need to eat something. I’m making you toast,” he yelled from the kitchen. You smiled and shut the bathroom door, taking care of business.

You brought the bag of medicine, chocolate, and the heating pad with you onto your couch. You plugged in the heating pad and held it close as you curled into the fetal position. After a few minutes, Spencer came into the room with a plate of toast and a cup of green tea, your favorite. You smiled and accepted the plate, taking the medicine with the tea and sitting back. Spencer continued to stand in front of you awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands slightly. You wordlessly patted the couch, motioning for him to sit down, which he did.

“Thank you again for this Spence, you really went out of your way,” you said, hoping he knew how thankful you were for his kindness. 

“Of course, anything for you Y/N,” he said, trying to mask his blush after he realized how intimate that sounded.

“So… did I ruin your Friday night plans?” you asked, hoping he didn’t have anything to do.

“Oh, no,” he started, and you were relieved. “Well, I had a date, but-”

“You had a date?!” you yelled, hitting him on the arm. 

“Ow! Yes, I did. Is that so hard to believe?” he asked, grabbing his arm.

“Well of course not Spence, you’re a catch,” you told him, and he blushed. “What’s hard to believe is that you ditched it for me! I would’ve been fine!” you lied, which was evident on your face. 

“Y/N. You so wouldn’t have been fine!” he laughed, and you began to speak before he continued. “I saw a... friend in need and I helped them. Besides, I wasn’t really even interested in her,” Spencer said, looking at his fidgeting hands.

“Why did you agree to go out with her if you weren’t interested?” you asked, wondering why the genius, a man of reason, would waste his time.

“Morgan set us up,” he started, and you nodded immediately understanding- when Morgan was trying to set someone up, he was relentless until you agreed. “He thought she’d help me get my mind off of… nevermind,” he blushed, seemingly accidentally saying too much. Your heart cracked a bit at the thought of your crush having feelings for someone else, but you continued to pry.

“Ohh I see. Who’s the lucky girl?” you asked, with a bit of an edge.

“I can’t tell you that Y/N,” he answered, avoiding eye contact. You pouted for a moment. “Besides, I think she just sees me as just a friend,” he continued, disappointment on his face. It hurt you to see him upset but you couldn’t help but feel relief that he wasn’t about to be taken anytime soon.

“Well, I guess you can say I’m in the same position as you,” you confessed, not going into any more detail. His face visibly dropped at this- he seemed disappointed, but you were sure you were overthinking things.

“Well Y/N, any guy would be lucky to have you,” he said softly, finally making eye contact. Maybe it was your hormones, or maybe you were just feeling cuddly, but you scooched over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your head on his chest. He raised his arms in surprise at first, before wrapping them around you. 

“You smell good,” you told him, before regretting it immediately and blushing profusely. You could hear his heartbeat, which may have been at an elevated pace. You pulled away and he looked a bit disappointed.

“Would you… would you stay with me for a bit Spence?” you looked up at him, stars in your eyes. 

“Of course,” he said softly. You sighed with content before another wave of cramps set in. You groaned and clutched the heating pad, once again in the fetal position. Spencer felt helpless, just watching you in pain. In a movement that surprised both him and you, he leaned behind you and wrapped his arms around you, basically spooning you. You were too in pain to react, but the feeling of his warm chest on your back had the ability to simultaneously soothe and excite you. He rubbed circles on your arm with his hand and you could feel your heart rate spike. You hoped he couldn’t see the blush rising on your face. 

“This is nice,” you mumbled, earning a soft hum from Spencer behind you. Before you knew it, you fell into one of the best sleeps of your life with your long time crush.

-

The next morning, you woke to whispering from the one and only Penelope Garcia. You opened your eyes to see yourself face to face with Spencer- you must have turned around during the night and cuddled into his chest. Your face felt hot when you noticed he was still asleep- you slowly untangled yourself from him and stood up to greet Penelope, who had apparently put her spare key to your apartment to good use. 

“I called it!” Penelope said, half to you and half to Derek, who was currently facetiming her. You shushed her and dragged her into the kitchen, Spencer still fast asleep on the couch.

“So that's why you ditched us last night!” she laughed, mouth wide open in shock.

“I didn’t know the kid had it in him!” Derek said from the phone. You were confused.

“What do you mean?” you took the phone from Penelope. 

“You mean… Reid didn't… tell you anything?” he asked.

“No, I… I ran out of tampons last night and I called him to bring me some, I guess we just fell asleep on the couch,” you explained. He cringed when you said tampons.

“Why didn’t you ask me princess?” he inquired with a smirk.

“Derek, you almost passed out when I said ‘tampons’” you told him, he just shook his head. Penelope took the phone back from you just as Spencer walked into the kitchen. 

“Oh hey, what are you doing here Garcia?” he asked, yawning mid sentence.

“I’m just here to drop off some pastries for my lovely Y/N to make her feel better. Although i'm sure you don’t need much help with that G man,” she said with a wink. You and Spencer avoided eye contact like two high schoolers with a crush. “Well, I guess i'll be on my way!” she announced, hugging you both and speedily leaving your apartment, which was odd- if anything, Garcia tends to overstay her welcome. 

“Those smell good,” you said, walking over to the bag from your favorite bakery. He mirrored your actions, seemingly hungry as well.

 You both ate the pastries in silence for a few minutes when you noticed Spencer had a bit of icing on his chin. Without thinking you reached up and wiped it with your finger, licking it off your thumb. He stood there, with his mouth open for a moment before his cheeks turned red. When you noticed his embarrassed reaction you immediately regretted it.

“Oh im sorry, I forgot you have a thing with touching Spence,” you apologized.

“No no, it’s okay. I don’t mind when it’s you,” he confessed, finally meeting your eyes for the first time that morning. You nodded and continued to eat your breakfast, ignoring the flutter in your heart. 

“So, about last night…” you brought up the elephant in the room. “It was really nice,” you confessed, remembering the feeling of his arms around you. 

“Y/N, what I’m about to say is either really stupid of me or the smartest i’ve ever been, but, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” he confessed, your astonishment written on your face. “And- and not in a friendly way,” he said, before frowning. “Well that sounded, wrong, of course it was ‘friendly,’ but I meant it as more than… that,” he finished, biting his lip. Your mouth was open, surprised at his confession.

“Oh, Spence-” you started before being interrupted.

“I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer Y/N, you just made me so flustered and when I saw you hurting last night it hurt me too, so i thought it was a good opportunity to get close to you. Not that I was taking advantage of you! God that sounds bad, uh,” he made a face, trying to think of a better way to word it. You just wrapped your arms around his midsection, much like you had done the night before, and held him tight. He smelled like apples and coffee. You lifted your head to look up at him, arms still around his waist. 

“Spencer, I’ve liked you for a very long time,” you laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t realize sooner, I mean I thought it was obvious when I always sleep on your shoulder during jet rides or when I bring you coffee like every day, or when I-” you were interrupted by his soft lips on yours. Your eyes widened before they closed, and you moved your hands to the sides of his face, his hands on your waist. He pulled away, leaving you in a daze.

“Sorry, I’ve just been wanting to do that for awhile,” he smiled softly. 

“Oh, uh, no problem,” you replied, still flustered from the kiss. “You like me,” you teased, poking his arm and giggling like a 13 year old.

“Well so do you!” he laughed, poking you in the stomach. Your eyes darkened with mischief and so did his. Before you knew it, the two of you were on your apartment floor, tickling each other's ribs. Spencer eventually got the high ground, straddling you and relentlessly tickling you until you couldn’t breath. He stopped after a moment, looking down at you in awe, before you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him in for another quick kiss. 

“Penelope’s gonna be so excited,” you giggled.

“Oh yeah, her and Morgan will finally stop teasing me about liking you,” he said, standing up from his position over you and holding out a hand to help you up. 

You spent the rest of the day with him cuddling on your couch and alternating between playing cards and watching shitty reality TV (which he got surprisingly invested in), and it was arguably one of the best days of your life. And you knew from the way that Spencer kept stealing loving glances at you, he felt the same.

[missmonsters2]

Courting Your Plus One

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader/OFC

Prompt: Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend’s wedding? I told them I’d have a plus one.

Note: Thank you for sending in bby 💘 We are here for a good time. @ludwigvonbaethoven​

Warnings: Y’all know you love this trope.

Genre: Fluff & humor 

Count: 5253

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Sometimes you imagine life (your life, specifically) being one big giant clusterfuck of a disaster.

Because you're not sure how else to explain how you got invited to your friend and your ex's wedding. 

Because, yes, they're fucking marrying each other. 

It honestly felt like you were being punched in the gut.

You would say your friendship with your friend is very complicated. It's based more on competition and envy than anything.

And not to brag, but you've pretty much have outdone for your friend in every aspect of life effortlessly.

Except you lost the girl.

Or more accurately, she left you.

Because you made it very clear to both of them that the people you date are not a prize to be won, and you don't chase people.

That being said, maybe if you went to therapy while in your childhood, you would grow up to be a well-adjusted adult who didn't believe that in a breakup, there's always a winner and a loser.

And by God, you refuse to be the loser in this breakup. 

"Yes, I'm really bringing a plus one," you tell your friend. After skillfully avoiding any questions that would require you to disclose any details of this 'plus one,' you needed to actually find a plus one.

But this was more than just a plus one.

You needed to find someone who was hotter and better than your ex in every way. 

"I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or insulted."

"Neither, Nat. Please just do me this favor, so I'm not humiliated twice by the two of them," you beg.

"Hasn't it been 4 months now? I doubt they will antagonize you since they've seemed to move on and all," Natasha looks at you with a brow raised. Natasha isn't a stranger to these two, but she's not really sure she's up to go along with this insane idea.

And despite the biting words, you show Natasha a text you received just hours after opening the wedding invitation.

Hey, with the history and all, we totally understand if you don't want to come to celebrate our wedding.

"Wow," Natasha whistles.

"Yes," you agree, putting your phone away.

"They really said that," Natasha comments while nodding her head and pursing her lips.

"They did, so please pretend to my girlfriend and attend this wedding with me. I don't want to rub it in their face, but I refuse to be alone."

"I just want to point out you actually have nothing to rub in their face."

"Nat."

She sighs.

"Fine," she grumbles, "I'll go, mostly for the free meal and drinks I'm going to get out of this, but you owe me big time for this."

You sigh in relief, the stress partially leaving you. You're thankful to have a friend like Natasha. You were friends throughout university and even were roommates for a while. Granted, you didn't get to see each other often now with the fact she travels a lot for work, but it seems like she's finally settling in the city for a while.

"So, what day is it?" Natasha asks while sipping her coffee, swinging her legs.

"So...it's out of town, and it's two days and one night," you smile sheepishly.

"For fuck sakes."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The wedding comes faster than you're ready for, and you've got the jitters as you adjust your one-piece jumpsuit.

Natasha picks you up, looking glorious in her dress, and for a second, your nerves calm as you take a deep breath.

"You look beautiful," you compliment to Natasha who merely smirks. 

"Nervous?" Natasha asks as she pulls out of your driveway and heads to the airport with no rush.

"I don't know if I would call it nervous as more of I really hope there are no incidents," you huff, 

"Hopefully, this will all go smoothly, and we just eat and drink ourselves into oblivion."

"What about dancing?" Natasha asks.

"For the sake of your feet, we 

better not," you half-joke.

Natasha lets out a burst of laughter, and you lick your lips at the sound. 

"So? What's the plan?" Natasha looks over to you briefly before turning her eyes back on the road.

"Plan?" You hum.

Natasha looks back with a raise of her brow at you.

"What? You just want to wing it when people inevitably ask us how we met and started dating?"

"Honestly, this is already stressful enough, I would prefer to not lie more than we have to. I've seen enough movies to know that's how you get fucked later. Everyone knows we've been friends forever. Let's just say we developed feelings, and then I asked you out."

"What if I want to be the one who asked you out?" Natasha frowns.

"Then you can be the one who asked me out...?"

"No, it's okay. I would rather you ask me out."

"Natasha, I'll fucking strangle you," you huff.

"Not my kink," Natasha then looks at you and smirks, "...Well."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You're trying to not seem twitchy when your plane arrives in Hawaii, and you head straight to the venue. 

Other guests have started to pour in, but you don't see the couple of the hour.

Natasha slides her hand into yours easily, and you're having a fleeting thought about how your hands fit together well. Her hand is soft, a little cold, but you don't mind because your hands are too warm.

"Relax," she whispers, and you nod.

You're thankful that they decided to have the ceremony and the reception right after, both at the same venue. You can't imagine trying to stretch this entire day out.

You grab champagne glasses and pass one to Natasha, who hums in thanks.

A couple people come up to say hi to you and fawn over how beautiful Natasha is and how you met. It's going well so far. Thankfully, no one has actually asked about how you're feeling about this entire wedding, or how brave (or stupid) you are to come. 

At least to your face. 

You already know people are whispering behind your back.

You take your seat with Natasha, and the second you hear the songs playing, you have to resist the urge to roll your eyes so fucking far back into your head because it's literally the same playlist you shared with your ex when you were dating her. 

This has to be some new level of pettiness, right?

Natasha seems to recognize the songs right away. After all, she had been the one to listen to it first to give her opinion before you sent it to your ex. She looks over at you and places her hand on top.

The touch grabs you out of your thoughts as you turn to look at her for a moment. You're reminded to take a deep breath as you turn your hand over to lace your fingers together.

You wish you were a little drunker when the bride comes out, and they say their vows, but your motto is that it could always be worse. 

You hear Natasha clear her throat, and you look at her curiously.

She's grinning at you mischievously, and then your phone buzzes.

Nat: Let's play a game. Every time she looks at you, you owe me a dance. Every time he looks at you, I'll buy you coffee when we're back.

You: Why? Because you don't want to be able to walk anymore?

Nat rolls her eyes at you, unable to hide the small smile on her lips.

Nat: Surely you can't be worse than when we were in university.

You: Debatable, but I'll play along. It's your toes.

Putting your phone away, Natasha smirks at you as you turn your head up to face the front.

It's easier to drown out the officiant and the couple's vows when you're trying to focus and keep count of how many times the couple looks at you.

By the time they kiss, Natasha's got you beat by 7 looks.  

And in total, you owe her 62 dances.

"Alright, if we just continue to dance for about 3 hours straight, I'll have paid my debt," you say, causing Natasha to laugh.

It's probably improbable you'll be able to give Natasha 62 dances, even if it's over the course of two days, but you're just happy you got through the ceremony. 

You move into the resort, snacking on hors-d'œuvre and wine while you chat with Natasha.

"I have to give it to them, the food is good. And, it's an open bar, nothing can beat that," Natasha says as she's already on her third glass of wine. 

"Your standards for a wedding is incredibly low," you shake your head at her, even if you do agree the food is not bad.

"Are you offering to show me better? What? Do you need a fake wife now?" Natasha teases you.

"Oh, would you be a dear and marry me then?" You blink innocently at her before grabbing her hand, "C'mon, I think the officiant might still be here."

You tug her hand a little, but Natasha tugs back to keep you in place.

"Alright, funny face, that's enough. If you think you can marry me after three glasses of wine...you are absolutely right, let's go," Natasha tugs you this time, and you let out a burst of laughter before tugging her hand back.

And then you see from the corner of your eye the newlyweds coming up to you, and you wait with bated breath.

"Wow, it's so good to see you, you look good," the bride comes in to swoop you into a hug, and you're almost taken aback at the familiar smell of honey and peaches.

"Hey, Vanessa," you breathe out, forcing a smile, "Congratulations, you look beautiful."

Vanessa laughs, clinging onto you a little too long when the groom sweeps him.

"Derek," you greet, "congratulations."

You don't say anything more because the second you look at them together, you're reminded that he went after her while you were still dating and that she did leave you for him.

He smiles at you, a little smug, as he shakes your hand and pulls you in to slap you on your back for a greeting.

"Thanks!" He enthusiastically says, "So, you brought Natasha. Why didn't you just say so over the phone?"

Derek goes into hug Natasha, who gives him a light smile and a weak hug in return.

"Thought it'd be a nice surprise," you reply, wrapping your arm around Natasha's waist as she settles into your side.

"Natasha, huh," Vanessa eyes the redhead in your arm. "How long?"

Okay, so maybe Natasha was a sore spot when you were dating Vanessa. She always complained about how you spent too much time with Natasha, even when she wasn't living in the city.

You're too lost in that Natasha has to be the one to answer.

"Well, it's pretty new, actually. As you know, we spend a lot of time together, and I don't know. The timing seemed just right that she confessed to me, it was really romantic," Natasha says, turning to look at you with a soft smile you're not sure you've ever seen on her.

You also noticed the biting mark about how you spend a lot of time together because Vanessa smiles contritely at the comment.

"That's great," Vanessa says offhandedly while she grabs her husband's hand. "Well, we gotta keep making rounds, but we'll catch up with you later."

With a little wave, the couple flitters off, and you feel like you can let out a sigh of relief.

"I always forget how wonderful of an actress you are," you turn to Natasha, your hand still on her waist as you smile thankfully at her.

"Yeah, imagine all the practice I got scaring off your one night stands in university," Natasha retorts back at you, and you look to the side, pretending you didn't hear that as Natasha laughs and slaps you playfully.

"C'mon, let's find the other food and refill your glass," You smile as you pull her along. 

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You leave your fake girlfriend for not even two minutes to find her the stupid hors-d'œuvre that had bacon wrapped around something.

You come back to find some dude hovering over your girlfriend like he's a fucking vulture.

It reminds you of back in university when you'd be studying in the library with Natasha, just enjoying the quiet time together with the occasional banter. 

And then some stupid jock, or someone from the student council, or whoever Natasha was dating at the time would come and interrupt. 

You stalk up to the two, catching the end sentence about how the guy has a yacht he would love to take Natasha on.

 "Hey," you interrupt, a fake smile on your face, "Sorry it took so long, I basically had to fight another woman for these, so you should probably eat them all now before she finds us."

Natasha laughs, giving you a smile as she beings to eat the appetizers.

"Who's this?" You ask, looking over at the guy.

Natasha looks over at the gentleman, blinking as she had definitely forgotten his name.

"Lentle?" She said, her tone rising at the end at the apparent guess.

"Leonard," he introduces himself with an unoffended smile.

"Well, Lentle, thanks for keeping my girlfriend company," you smile with a nod, and the guy gets the clear sign and books it out of there.

You turn to Natasha.

"I leave you for not even two minutes, and you've got yacht offers," you tease her.

"I know, so lame, right?" Natasha licks her lips. "Yacht offers were only cool in university."

"And what? You've traded in yacht offers for dances that will end in your toes being broken? I think you've got it backwards, sweetheart."

Natasha laughs as she finishes the last bacon appetizer. 

"Oh, you don't know how priceless your dancing is."

"Just for that, I'm taking three dances off my debt," you stick your tongue out at her while Natasha rolls her eyes playfully.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

This was only asking for trouble.

Natasha knew that.

She's not entirely unused to it. Living in a dorm with you while in university gave her plenty of opportunities where she had to pretend to be your scandalized girlfriend to scare off your one night stands.

But you were never there when those girls came knocking at the door.

She never had to hold your hand, gaze lovingly at you, potentially have to kiss you.

Natasha had been very careful throughout the entire time she had known you. She never made sure to cross any lines that she couldn't come back from.

Especially when you've had too many drinks and had a bad habit of kissing whoever might be too close to you back in the day.

It was necessary for Natasha to survive. 

Because she was in love with you.

And she still is.

But you had never indicated to her that you were interested in her in any other way than a friend. And so, she settled into a good place where she could be just your friend.

But this was threatening all of that. Natasha knew she should've said no when you came to her with this odd request, but you had looked so desperate and beat up that Natasha couldn't say no. 

When you were dating Vanessa, that was probably the worst time in Natasha's life. You were so obviously enamored with Vanessa, even if you did not admit it. 

Natasha had to deal with all the same intricacies of you dating her. Like helping you with the first date, listen to the playlist you made her and had to listen to you talk about Vanessa.

Nevermind when Vanessa left you for Derek. 

That might've tested Natasha's limit to the edge.

Now, she was standing with you at the bar, grabbing drinks as you held her hand, swinging it back and forth with a smile.

The dinner reception would be soon as the catering team started setting the tables and bringing food out.

"Does swinging our hands back and forth count as a dance?" You ask, and Natasha rolls her eyes over to you.

"Don't think you can escape a single dance," Natasha tells you, and you sigh dramatically.

Natasha can see Vanessa occasionally looking your way, and Natasha has to tell herself that being in your personal bubble, and brushing your hair behind your ear is justified now.

She can do those things.

Even if it's fake.

The reception is more boring than Natasha would like. Just people sharing toasts about how wonderful Derek is, and how in love they are. Natasha puts a lot of effort into distracting you.

And when the dinner comes to an end, the dancing begins. 

The couple shares their first dance together, and also dance with their parents.

The sun is setting, and when the floor opens up, Natasha is immediately dragging you onto the dance floor.

Your hand easily settles on the dip of her back as you pull her close, your other hand delicately encasing hers as you gaze in Natasha's eyes.

"This is a pretty good start," Natasha quirks her lips, "I remember the first time I tried to teach you how to dance, you look down the entire time at our feet."

"Yes, you're welcome for not crippling your toes at that time," You smile back. 

The slow music starts, and you begin to lead Natasha into a simple slow foxtrot.

"Hey, no broken toes," Natasha teases you, and you roll your eyes.

"Don't jinx it now," You try not to look down out of habit. Sure, over the years, you've gotten better at dancing, but it still wasn't your favorite activity. You still turn it down if given a chance.

After an hour into dancing, taking the occasional break in between, you need a break.

"Nat," You huff, "I don't think I'll be able to complete 62 dances with you. Can we convert dances into something else? How about drinks? I can get you drinks."

Natasha starts chuckling, "We'll see. I feel like you still have some dance left in you. C'mon, this is such a classic dance song."

Guests around you are wasted as they sway around on the dance floor. Derek has his tie around his head as he's goofing around with his buddies.

The dance is different this time. Natasha pulls you close, flush against her, and you're not sure if it's all the drinks you've had, but it feels different.

Her hands settle around your neck, her leg slightly in between your own.

And then she grinds to the beat of the music.

The feeling makes your breath hitch initially, and you see Natasha smirk subtly. Your hands automatically fly to her hips as you match her rhythm. 

Natasha's face is close. Close enough that you can feel her breath on your lips. 

You swallow. 

Somewhere in your mind, you're trying to remind yourself that Natasha is a friend. 

She's always been.

But tonight, you feel like she might cross a line that you didn't know existed between you two.

As quick as a fleeting thought to Kiss Natasha comes, she spins in your arms, back pressed against your front as she continues to sway and grind. 

Your hand slide over her stomach, and you're not sure what's happening. 

The song slowly comes to an end, going into a slow dance song, and you have a fleeting thought the DJ sucks.

Natasha turns back around, looking at you, and she's leaning in, and your heart is thudding, and you think the air is leaving your lungs, and--

"Hey."

The voice interrupts the two of you, and it's like whatever magic was happening, the spell broke.

You look over to see Vanessa standing between you too with a hand on your shoulder.

"Mind if I steal you for a dance?"

"She's kind of busy dancing with me right now," Natasha smiles, but you've seen that type of cold smile before.

"Well," Vanessa's eyes turn to Natasha, "I'm the bride, and it's my day, I think you can survive a dance without her."

Natasha looks like she wants to say something else, but you put your hand on her arm and give her a smile to show her it's okay.

Natasha wants to roll her fucking eyes at how smug Vanessa looks, but walks off to the bar.

She really needs a drink.

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You pull Vanessa into an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you as you lead her into a dance.

"You're quite open to dancing tonight," Vanessa comments, knowing in the past you seldom danced with her.

You shrug, "I've already had about 18 dances with Natasha. Plus, it is your wedding day."

"I'm surprised you actually came," Vanessa twirls in your arm, coming back just an inch closer than before.

"Why wouldn't I?" You challenge.

The dance is cut short with Vanessa stilling, sighing as she pulls you out of the venue and down to the beach, standing in the warm sand.

"Why do you always do that?" Vanessa says, crossing her arms.

"Do what?" You reply.

"You know exactly why I'm surprised you came. Did I really mean nothing to you? Why would you even come here? And especially with Natasha," Vanessa is frowning, and her brows furrow the exact way you remember them when she's upset.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

"I'm not doing this with you, Vanessa," you tell her slowly, "it's your wedding day."

You turn to leave, but Vanessa pulls you back, colliding her lips against yours.

The feel of her lips is entirely too familiar.

Too raw. 

You put your hands on her shoulder, pushing her back.

"What the hell, Ness!" You yell at her as your brows burrow in anger.

"You didn't come back for me!" Vanessa yells back at you. You look around, glad that you're far from the venue, so no one can hear you.

You turn your head back to your ex.

"You left me, remember?" You hiss quietly.

"You weren't paying attention to me," Vanessa quiets herself as well, grabbing on your dress jacket.

"I thought that if I went to Derek, you were going to fight for me, but you didn't," She admits.

You sigh, "Vanessa, I told you right from the beginning that I don't chase people. If you felt that I wasn't giving you enough attention, you should've just told me. You leaving me for Derek is not going to make me fight for you. Of all the things I will compete with Derek for, women are not one of them."

"But you do chase people," Vanessa retorts bitterly, "you're always chasing Natasha."

Your brows scrunch together.

"What?"

Vanessa rolls her eyes as if she thinks you're just playing dumb.

"Every time Natasha needed something, you dropped everything to go help her. Do you even remember my birthday? You left midway because Natasha called and said she was stuck on the highway."

"You said you were okay with it. If you weren't, you should've said so!" You argue with her.

"I shouldn't have to tell you that I obviously wouldn't be okay with that! For christ's sake, you hate dancing and you just danced 18 times with Natasha!"

You pinch the bridge of your nose, a minor headache from having this conversation.

"Regardless," you finally say, "whatever has happened, it's in the past now. You're married now. You said, 'I do,' to him. What do you want from me now?"

Vanessa takes a step forward, grabbing onto the edge of your sleeves again.

"I--I just want to know that I matter to you, that you still love me," Vanessa says softly, and she's leaning up on her tippy toes, getting closer to your face.

You're frozen.

Not sure why the hell this is happening to you.

But before you can push her away again, Vanessa is pushed back by someone else.

Natasha is standing there, furious as her eyes are set ablaze.

"I'll appreciate it if you keep your hands and lips off my girlfriend," Natasha grits out.

Vanessa rolls her eyes at Natasha, before looking at you, "I know you're not really dating her. If you wanted to make me jealous by bringing Natasha, then fine. I'm jealous, but you don't need to keep up the charade."

"Er--I'm not--We really are--why would you think that?" You start to stutter before asking.

"Natasha may have always been in love with you, but if you liked Natasha, you would've left me for her long ago. You're telling me throughout all the years of your friendship, you never thought about dating her earlier? I don't buy it," Vanessa squints.

"What does it matter to you? You're married," Natasha deadpans.

"And I can get a divorce if I want to," Vanessa fires back. 

Something seems to stem inside Natasha. A hot, burning, possessive feeling boils in her because she has a taste of having you hers, even if it's pretending.

And something just possesses Natasha as she pulls you close, wrapping her arm around your neck as she meets your lips with fervor. 

The taste of Natasha hits you different.

She tastes like vodka and pineapples, and you find yourself quickly returning her kiss. Your hands grab her waist, pulling flush against you, and your mind wanders to her grinding on you earlier. 

Has Natasha always felt this soft? Were her lips suppose to slide against yours so perfectly?

And then everything Vanessa said just hits you. You don’t chase people, but you’ll chase after Natasha. 

You always have. 

You hate dancing, but you’ve never turned down a dance with Natasha. 

You’re jealous, you’ve been jealous. It takes a lot to just barely temper the desire to possess.

Natasha was the first person you thought of for everything.

God, have you been an idiot? 

You distantly hear a huff in the background and footsteps stomping off.

You aren't sure how long you're kissing until Natasha pulls back.

She stares at you, and something just snaps.

"I can't do this," Natasha says, turning around and walking further onto the beach.

Natasha briskly walks along the shore, cursing herself. The kiss was amazing.

Everything and more than Natasha dreamed it would be.

But deep down, she knew that you didn't feel that way about her.

And now she had this blessing and curse to remember this kiss for the rest of her life.

"Hey!" A sudden arm grabs onto Natasha's wrist, and she turns around to see you panting as you chased after her.

"You know," you pant, "I'm beginning to think Vanessa was right."

Natasha immediately shirks at you as you stand up straight, sliding your hand down until you grasp her fingers.

"I don't chase people, but I chase always after you," you pull Natasha closer, and she looks alarmed.

"What are you say--"

"Is it true? Have you always been in love with me?" You cut her off.

Natasha is silent, face impassive as she always does when she feels vulnerable. 

But you always knew the answer when she did that.

"Why didn't you say anything?" You ask softly only for Natasha to scoff.

"Why would I? We're great friends, I'm aware of that. You've never indicated to me that you felt anything more for me," Natasha looks out onto the ocean.

You're not really what to say at first because it's true. Throughout your years of friendship, it never really crossed your mind that Natasha could be more to you. 

But not for the reason she thinks. 

"You know," you start, drawing her attention back to you, "When I first met you, you were like, the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my life, the statement still standing true to today."

Natasha feels her cheeks warm at the soft way you're saying it.

"Then I got to you know, and you were funny, charming, very sarcastic, ambitious, and god, all these amazing things," you sigh, unable to really convey how Natasha is.

"You dated all these guys--and girls--in university. You dated the student president, the student from abroad who literally sounded like James Bond, and even the girl who was in theatre major who is now like a famous broadway actress now or something," you recall all of Natasha's suitors in university.

You laugh, "And don't even get me started on the people after university. I still get Facebook messages from that CEO who tried to give you his company."

Natasha is listening to ramble, but honestly, she doesn't remember any of these people. 

Because in university, she was busy taking the scenic route to her class so she could bump into you more. Natasha was occupied with taking non-related classes for her general studies requirements with you. And she was really too busy watching go from fling to fling, wishing that for once, you would just look at her.

"What does that have anything to do with you?" Natasha asks.

"Nothing," you reply, shrugging your shoulders, "Which is exactly the point. While I was busy with one night stands, you were long term dating other people. How can you expect me to even think that you might've been interested in me? How could I let myself want to be more to you?"

And Natasha was extremely aware of it. There were so many moments, too many to even count, where Natasha would be internally screaming for you to look at her, see the truth that she was in love with you, all while refusing to make it known that she was even an option for you.

But Natasha doesn't know where to go from here. 

She's still in the same place she started with you.

Natasha feels you tugging on her hand, pulling her closer while you cup her jaw.

"So, I'm going to ask you again. Have you always been in love with me?" You hover over her face, breath on her lips.

"You know what? Nevermind, I'll find the answer myself," You say before you swoop in capture Natasha's lips.

The second kiss is entirely different from the first, and Natasha is completely helpless for the first time with you. Your lips are velvety soft, delicate like a feather. 

And it's hard to Natasha to process the fact that you're kissing her, she's convinced that your lips have changed her very existence and she'll never be the same. 

And when you pull back, you rest your forehead against Natasha's.

"Is it okay for me to say that I've been really blind and that we've got it all backward, but the timing is actually right, and I'd like to take my fake girlfriend on a date tomorrow morning so she can become my real girlfriend?"

And Natasha just chokes on a laugh because she's pretty sure she stepped on a rock, and it hurts, but it's the only thing that tells her she's not dreaming as you pull her into a hug.

“You’re such an idiot,” Natasha mumbles.

"Just one thing," you say, playing against the back of Natasha's neck. 

"What?" Natasha pauses.

"Can we convert dances to kisses?" 

And Natasha laughs, wrapping her arms around you as her head rests against your shoulder.

"I'm open to the idea," she smiles. "So, what about the wedding brunch tomorrow?"

"Oh, fuck the brunch."

[brythebibliophile]

dance with me--a spencer reid x reader

a/n: hi everyone! sorry I haven’t posted that much, my life has been kind of hectic. this idea just kind of came to me so I hope you enjoy it!

warnings: none! just fluff :)

word count: 1570

-

“Jeez,” you said as you shut your book and grabbed the closest thing to you(your arm rest). There was turbulence on your way home from a case in Colorado, and while you weren’t a nervous flier, you would still prefer for the rides to be smooth and calm.

“I really do not appreciate that turbulence,” Rossi stated from his position across from you. It wasn’t a secret that Rossi liked his plane rides smooth as well. 

“Relax, guys. Did you know that the actual chances of a fatal injury from a plane crash are 5% or less? Also it would be kind of difficult for the plane to actually crash. Most things have a low risk of happening but the stakes are high if said event actually happens--like in rock climbing. The chances of the climber slipping are slim, but if they do fall the injuries could be fatal. Anyways, as I was saying, lots of activities are like that, but plane crashes are at low risk in both areas. So hopefully that can help to...calm you down,” Dr. Spencer Reid said in an attempt to help.

Spencer and you always had a weird relationship dynamic. When you guys actually interacted you two always had a good time, and when you got put together on cases things normally went more smooth than usual, but something had just never clicked with you two. The rest of the team didn’t know it, but you knew that the reason(at least on your part) was that you had a crush on Spencer. Big time. So, the only way to ensure that you didn’t accidentally slip your feelings or make a complete fool of yourself in front of Spencer was to...avoid him, mostly. 

“Thanks, Reid,” you said. “You know, I’m not that nervous of a flier, I just prefer a smooth ride. Helps to ease the anxiety more than your statistics, that’s for sure.” That earned a chuckle from Rossi.

“Yeah, yeah. Excuse me for trying,” Spencer said with mock hurt, but the smirk he offered you let you know that he was kidding. “We should be landing soon, anyways. I estimated our landing time and we should be down in eight-ish minutes.”

“Wonderful. I honestly cannot wait to get this paperwork done and go home because I have been craving thai food since we left for this case!” You said, your mouth watering with just the thought of red curry, pad thai, basically everything on the menu.

“Woah, did someone say thai food??” Derek’s head popped up over the other side of Rossi’s chair.

“Yes! I’m planning on grabbing some on my way home. Do you guys want to come over actually? Anyone who wants to come can!”

Everyone on the jet agreed to coming except for JJ, who wanted to get home to Will and Henry, and Spencer. 

“Reid?? You in?” You nudged him a little bit with your foot underneath the chess table. 

“Ummm, maybe? We’ll see how I feel after paper work because I’m a little tired.” You frowned a little bit. That wasn’t the answer you had wanted.

“Okay! Just whatever works for you.” Soon after that conversation, the jet landed and the team went in to finish up the paperwork for the case and meet up at your apartment. You always dreaded this part of the case. Normally the jet gave you time to cool down and try to forget about the awful things you had to face at work, but paperwork always managed to open up the wounds while they were still fresh. The amount of paperwork you had to do normally depended on your role in the case, but since you had been the one to type up a working profile for Hotch before you all delivered it, and you were the one who arrested the unsub, you had to do quite a bit. 

Spencer had been watching you. From his desk a little ways away from yours, he had seen you filling out the papers you were required to and turn them into Hotch. Reid didn’t really have to do much paperwork, but he was waiting for you to be done because there was no way he was going to miss this thai food despite what he eluded to on the jet. The young doctor noted the ways your body language changed as you recounted the events of the case. He saw how you bit your lip either out of frustration or to keep your tears from falling. He saw how your brow furrowed as you looked over the case file one more time. He saw how your hands shook as you passed of the papers to Hotch and walked back to your desk.

“Okay, everyone, I’m gonna go back to my place and shower but everyone meet up at my place in like an hour? Will that work for everyone?” The rest of the team nodded and grunted out agreements as you turned and walked to the elevator. Spencer jumped in with you. Just as the elevator started to descend, an extremely loud jolt of thunder erupted from the heavens. You jumped a little bit, then blushed because you were embarrassed. 

“I’m not scared of thunder, you know,” you smiled and relayed this news to Spencer after hearing him softly chuckle at you. “I’m just a little jumpy after relaying the details of our case, that’s all.”

“No, I get it. It’s just that I’m normally the one jumping for weird reasons.” Spencer returned your smile, and the elevator opened for the ground floor. You two started to walk out together.

“Sometimes I just wish it would all stop. I mean, I’m here for a reason and I love that I’m helping people! It’s just, I dunno, people are really messed up sometimes. The world can be really sucky,” you admitted to Spencer as you walked across the lobby of the Bureau.

“Agreed,” Spencer breathed out as he grunted when he saw that it was absolutely pouring outside. “Great. I don’t have an umbrella. Do you?”

You shook your head. “Well, this will be interesting. Are you coming by the way?? To dinner?” Spencer nodded. “Great. You heard my announcement about time, right?”

“Right. Well, let’s brave the rain!” You and Spencer nodded to each other as if you were going into a battlefield and stepped outside of the main set of doors.

“So apparently, not only do the people of the world suck, but the world itself does too! Blasted rain,” you joked. Something shifted in Spencer’s face. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked. You nodded, a bit skeptical. “Come here.”

He led you to his car, then took his messenger bag and your briefcase and shoved them in the back seat. He locked the car again.

“Spencer! What in the world do you think you’re doing?” You inquired, a little frustrated but mostly curious.

“Come here!” Spencer responded. He grabbed your hand, which took you by surprise because he was normally such a germ freak. He dragged you out to a portion of the parking lot that was normally deserted. “Dance with me!”

“Spence! What? You aren’t making sense. What are you talking about?!”

“Your hands have been shaking ever since you handed Hotch the case papers and you’re being more talkative than normal! Those are both indicators of stress and you don’t deserve that. So, I’m asking you to just forget about it. Dance with me.”

“Spencer, I have places to be! I need to pick up dinner and no matter how hard you try to make me forget about it the world is a crappy pla-”

“Dance with me and pretend the world doesn’t exist,” he pleaded, cutting you off. “Please.”

You gave in. He smiled. You started out doing a goofy dancing thing, the kind of things they showcase in cheesy teen sitcoms when they say a character is bad at dancing, but you slowly morphed to dancing with each other. At one point, Spencer span you out, and you came spinning back in to him. You breathed him in, and even though he smelled mostly like the rain that soaked his clothes, you could pick up traces of coffee and books, both trademark Spencer scents. You looked up at him and your eyes met. Then neither of you could take it any longer. You kissed. It was spontaneous and desperate and beautiful. You both smiled softly at each other when you pulled away.

“I need to go home and take a shower,” you said slowly, easing your way out of Spencer’s arms. “But I’ll see you soon, okay?” Spencer nodded. “Walk me to my car?”

You held hands all the way over to Spencer’s car, where you picked up your things, and then over to your car. You weren’t sure if that kiss was like a one-time thing but you really hoped it wasn’t. Too late to turn back now, you thought as you pressed a kiss to Spencer’s cheek before turning around and opening your car door. 

“Thank you. For making me forget about the world, I mean. Even if it was just for a little bit. Hopefully you can do it again sometime, Doctor.” Spencer smiled and nodded. You drove off with a sense of satisfaction, and a new optimism that maybe the world was not, in fact, as bad as it seemed.

[elisela]

your name like honey on my lips stiles x derek, g, fluff & softness, 1.6k (ao3) for @tylerhunklin‘s prompt: “okay but like…what happens when derek gets too drunk at the bar and stiles has to drag him home…” -- lauren my sweetest love this is likely not what you were expecting but guess what, neither was i so.

--

It’s a bit of a surprise that the bar Stiles was called to abruptly in the middle of the night wasn’t terrible. Stiles had, when he’d finished stumbling into his jeans and made it outside, assumed that any place Scott would choose to get plastered in would be run down and disgusting, lacking appeal in everything except for cheap booze. Scott’s lucky to have a friend like Stiles, honestly, someone who’s willing to drag themselves out of their warm, comfortable bed at half past one in the morning and brave the frigid streets to go pick his drunk ass up. It makes him feel better to tell himself that, to dwell on his response to this situation instead of giving in to the irritation that Scott didn’t even have the decency to tell Stiles he was going out that night.

It was supposed to be Stiles’ night to celebrate; he’s got a brand new master’s degree in hand (okay, he’ll have it when they mail it to him in four to six weeks), he’s got two weeks to do nothing but laze around playing video games in his underwear until he starts his new job, and said job will finally afford him the chance to move out of his ninth-floor walk-up and hopefully into a building where the hallways don’t smell like three week old garbage that’s been left out in the summer heat despite it being January.

He loves Scott. Scott is his best friend in the entire world, the person who’d packed up everything he had and left his hometown just because Stiles had admitted to being lonely in New York; Scott is the person who makes Stiles believe there’s still good in the world. Scott is—

Not at this bar.

There’s hardly anyone in the place, not that he’s surprised—it’s Tuesday, a cold front has swept the city, and anyone with an ounce of sense is home. In bed. He mutters a curse under his breath and steps up to the bar. “Hey man, sorry—I’m Stiles? Someone called, said I needed to come get my buddy?”

The bartender jerks a thumb towards the end of the bar, and Stiles opens his mouth, ready to ask what the hell is going on because that’s not Scott, Scott’s got adorable wavy hair that stills flops down in front of his eyes sometimes, and he’s not nearly as built as this guy is; the guy may be slumped over the bar, head burrowed in his folded arms, but he’s got more muscle on him than Stiles and Scott combined. Whoever this guy is, Stiles doesn’t know him, doesn’t know why he asked the bartender to call Stiles to pick him up or how he even has his number, because Stiles only knows one person with a body like that and there’s no way that—

“You said adorable,” he hisses as the bartender, pointing wildly in Derek’s direction, because of course it’s the guy he regularly makes a fool of himself in front of over there, the one who he’s pretty sure can’t stand him even though Stiles has tried at least seventy-eight different ways to get his attention. “You said talkative. You said—”

He stops.

She holds up her hands and shrugs. “Look, we’re closing. If you don’t want to deal with him—”

“No, it’s fine,” he says, staring at the back of Derek’s head. He wonders how many drinks it took Derek to turn talkative; Stiles had, until this moment, seriously wondered if Derek had some sort of curse placed on him that only allotted him a few dozen words a day. He says more in ten minutes than Derek says all day, something he knows due to a combination of spending long days in the library writing his thesis and strategically choosing tables that offered him a view of the reference desk.

For easy research access, of course.

“You want me to call a cab for you two?”

He should stop staring. When he’d answered the phone—the Sheriff’s kid never, ever lets an unknown number become a missed call in the early hours of the morning—and she’d asked him to come get his adorable, talkative friend who wouldn’t shut up about him, he never expected this. “Yeah, that’d be great, thanks,” he says. He hopes Derek doesn’t live far, he’s still got a month before his first paycheck will hit his bank account and his take-out budget is going to get a serious chunk taken out of it if it turns out Derek lives out in Brooklyn or some shit.

He makes his way over until he’s on Derek’s other side and can see his face, eyes closed and resting peacefully. Stiles kicks at his foot gently; when that does nothing, and wraps his hand around Derek’s bicep—oh sweet Jesus—and shakes him a little, shoving his hands into his pockets when Derek’s eyes flutter open. “Hey, big guy,” he says, and Derek blinks up at him for a moment before smiling. Stiles draws in a breath and pastes a smile on his face because no, he is not affected by this. So what if he hasn’t ever seen a smile grace Derek Hale, permanently grumpy research librarian, before? There’s no reason why such a sight should make him want to melt into the floor right there. “Need some help getting home?”

Derek, it seems, has passed the point of happy, talkative drunk and has fallen straight into sleepy and silent. Stiles can’t decide if that’s better or worse, and when Derek finally slides off the barstool and straight into Stiles’ arms like he belongs there, nuzzling his face into Stiles’ neck with a sigh that bleeds contentment, Stiles starts calculating the odds that he actually died earlier in the day and this is his own personal heaven.

Or, more likely, a dream, because even though he’s got ten fingers and the cab waiting for them outside smells like vomit and greasy pizza, Derek shrugs helplessly when Stiles asks where he lives and his license lists somewhere upstate as his address, which means that his only real choice is to take Derek home with him, back to his shoebox of an apartment that’s barely big enough for a bed and a table, where he may have just enough room to sleep on the floor but certainly doesn’t have enough extra blankets to ensure he won’t freeze to death.

So he gives his own address to the cab driver, even though it’s only six blocks away, and stays pressed too close to Derek’s side, comfortably numb over the way Derek’s hand rests against his wrist, pinky and ring finger pressed against Stiles’ pulse point as they sit in silence. There’s so much he can’t wrap his head around that he doesn’t even try, because what good would it do to ask questions when Derek’s not said a single word to him so far? It’s startlingly familiar, just a different setting, a different hour, a different look on Derek’s face when Stiles helps him out of the cab and into his building.

By the time they’re up the stairs—a not insignificant feat—Derek is staring at him openly, mouth soft at the corners and eyes wide, fingers walking slowly up Stiles’ arm as he wedges his key into the lock and coaxes it back and forth until the deadbolt finally gives in and slides open.

“It’s not much,” Stiles says, curling his arm back around Derek’s waist and pulling him in, “and uh, I hope you don’t mind sharing the bed, I’ve got some—well, no, I don’t have any pants for you, sorry, but I have a shirt that might fit. It gets a little cold in here.”

He digs around in his dresser, pulling out of one the long sleeved shirts he wears to bed—it’ll be tight on Derek but it’s better than nothing—and tosses it at him while he pulls his own clothes off for the second time that night and looks around for the sweatpants he’d abandoned on the floor in his haste to leave. Derek’s still sitting on the edge of the bed when he’s done, looking down at his hands, and Stiles kneels in front of him without thinking, working at the laces of Derek’s shoes until he can pull them off.

“You’d be more comfortable without these,” he says, rubbing his palm against the jeans Derek’s still wearing. “You can leave them on if you want, but—it wouldn’t bother me if you took them off. If you’re comfortable with that.” Derek nods after a moment, leans into Stiles as he strips, keeps his hand on Stiles’ arm even as they crawl into the bed. He lays closer than Stiles thought he would, knees coming to rest together as they turn on their sides.

He’s almost asleep when Derek finally says his name. The light from the street below falls across Derek’s face at an angle, casting most of his face into shadow, but Stiles can see how Derek’s eyes sweep over his face, can feel the feather-light pressure of Derek’s thumb coming to rest against the corner of his mouth. “Is this real?”

There’s a slight slur to his words, a drunken lisp, and he can’t help but smile, Derek’s thumb tracing the line of his bottom lip. “You think this is a dream?” Maybe he shouldn’t touch—Derek’s still drunk, can’t really consent to anything and has never even remotely indicated that he would be interested in being in Stiles’ bed before this, but Derek’s touching him like he matters, so Stiles brings up his arm to rest around Derek’s waist and scoots a little closer.

“Yes,” Derek says quietly. “I won’t see you anymore. You’re—gone. I didn’t want you to be gone.”

“You can see me anytime you want,” Stiles says, tilting his head in, releasing a breath when Derek does the same, foreheads pressed together.

“Tomorrow?”

Stiles yawns, tugging Derek closer. “Every tomorrow,” he murmurs as he closes his eyes, and he falls asleep slowly to the sweep of Derek’s thumb across his cheek.

[jazziwritesthings]

We Were - Derek Hale

Inspired by We Were by Keith Urban

Lyrics in Bold

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Word Count: 2082

Warnings: Cancer, Death, maybe swears

A/N: I’m Sorry.

*******

We were just a couple years short of the age By my name on a fake ID And still 'bout a hundred away from the day Your daddy said you could run with me We were a couple of line steppers Who just couldn't wait to step over the line

Derek met you when you were both 17. You tried so hard to try to get him to trust you. He wasn’t about to let himself get invested in someone again. Not after Paige. It had only been a few years and Derek was still broken about it, but that was something that would never leave him. He knew he couldn’t make that mistake again. No, he wouldn’t, or so he thought. After almost a year you had worn him down and got him to open up a bit. He liked being around you. You made him feel like a normal teenager. Then the fire happened. You got a call from an unknown number, it was Derek at the sheriff station. He asked if you could pick him up. You borrowed your dad’s car and definitely went over the speed limit trying to reach him as fast as possible. You ran into the sheriff's station and saw him just sitting on a bench. You walked over and stood in front of him. Without warning he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head into your stomach. You could feel his shaking and eventually you heard his sobs. You just stood there playing with his hair telling him you loved him, all while trying to keep the sound of your sobbing controlled.

We were gonna make it, weren't we, baby? Had it all laid out in our mind By the time we knew time was runnin' out We done run out of time

He had to leave Beacon Hills. He had no choice, he was a minor and now Laura was his guardian, and she couldn’t stay here. You understood why but you didn’t want to be separated from your best friend. The day they left was one of the toughest days of your life. You and Derek had spent the night in your room. Your dad wasn’t around much since your mom passed, so it was always just you and him. That night was the night when you both admitted you loved each other, more than just friends. That was the night you gave him everything and he gave everything to you. The next morning was rough. The car was already packed and Laura was just waiting for Derek. You stood in front of the garage with your hands on his chest and his on your waist with your foreheads touching. “I love you so much. Promise you won’t forget me?” He let out a slight laugh/sigh and pressed one last kiss to your lips, “ I promise.”

And we were leather jackets hangin' onto a Harley Two heartbeats in the moonlight

The first year he was gone he had tried to keep in contact with you. It wasn’t easy, he didn’t have a phone and could only reach you by pay phone. Laura said it wasn’t a good idea to keep that kind of stuff because it meant that hunters could track them easier. Derek would never tell you that part. As far as you knew, he was normal. His whole family was normal and the fire was an accident. Eventually it got hard for him to keep contacting you. Every time he heard your voice or you told him things that were happening around Beacon Hills he became so homesick and it reminded him too much of his family. It hurt too much for him to continue. He didn’t mean for it to happen how it did. He just quit calling and writing and before he knew it, six years had gone by. Laura had told him she had some business to attend to and that she would be back in a few weeks. When she didn’t call Derek at all the first week he started to worry. He finally went through Laura’s things and found where she had gone and why. She had gone home. He packed what little they had and raced back to Beacon Hills.

He arrived and it seemed like nothing had changed. Everything looked the same and honestly he felt homesick all over again. He didn’t know where to go so he went to the only place he knew he could. Walking up the front steps of his childhood home brought up a lot of pleasant memories. Most of them were his mom sitting on those stairs giving some of the best advice she could offer. He looked around the porch and noticed there were bouquets everywhere. Some were very dead and others looked semi-fresh. He’d been there about a day when he heard someone pull up in a car. He secretly watched out of the upstairs window. As soon as she got out of the car Derek knew who it was immediately. He could smell her all the way up the stairs and she still smelled the same. He got brave and quietly went down the stairs. He watched as she turned and walked back to her car. He walked out onto the porch, “ Y/n?” You froze at the sound of your name. In all the years you were coming here no one had even stepped foot on the property. You turned around and were surprised to see a man standing there staring at you, “ I’m sorry. Do I know you?” He walked off the porch and when the sunlight lit up his features she took a step back, “ Derek?” He looked at you with a huge smile on his face, “Yeah.” You looked at him for only a moment before your mind was made up. You walked over to him and grabbed his face, pulling him into a kiss. The butterflies and the fire were still there. You had had other boyfriends before, but none of them ever measured up to Derek. No matter how hard you tried nobody could compare to him. It wasn’t that long before he disappeared on you again. You shouldn’t have been surprised but you were, and it still hurt just as much as the first time.

At least there's a little bit of sweet in the bitter Though a part of me is always gonna miss her I am who I am, I just miss who I was when we were

You had always remembered your time with Derek fondly. He was your first, for just about everything. You had tried to get into contact with him through the teenagers he had here. They periodically checked up on you and you assumed they reported back to him. Eventually they stopped coming around. So when you got sick, there was no way to tell Derek. Your doctors told you it wasn't a great chance. The surgery could work or it could make it worse, you may not even make it out. You had done what felt like hundreds of rounds of chemo and nothing was working to get the tumor to shrink. It was in a place that was very hard to operate. It was in your brain. There was a chance that if they were able to get it that the cancer wouldn’t return. You knew the risk of surgery was dying, but if you didn’t try you were going to die anyway. Before you went in for surgery you wrote a letter and mailed it to the McCall house, addressed to Derek.

Friends say, "Oh well, let that ship sail" "You gotta let go of her" "Just wasn't meant to be" But somewhere down deep I still believe That we were

When Derek finally returned to Beacon Hills he went to Scott’s house first. The boy had said he had something important for Derek. Derek knocked and waited before Scott opened the door. “Hey man! We’ve been trying to get a hold of you for like a year!” Derek nodded, “ Yeah I was busy, what do you have for me?” Scott picked an envelope off the coffee table and handed it to him. He read the return address and when he saw your name he froze a bit. “Okay.” He left Scott’s house without another word. He walked to your old house and saw that there was a different family living there. He decided to just walk while he read.

Dear Derek,

Hey. You know I was never any good at this sort of thing, but I figured this would get to you eventually. I want you to know that you are my best friend. I can tell you that I would not have survived my teenage years if it wasn’t for you. I know I wouldn’t have made it through the time after my mom died without you. I need you to know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Even though you did ignore me for most of our 20s. You need to know that no matter what I love you. Always. I don’t care how many bad things happen, you are and forever will be my person. I couldn’t have lived this life without you. So thank you.

Derek quit walking and chose to sit down on the sidewalk. This felt like a goodbye.

I know I know. I’m getting all sappy and you hate that sorta stuff. Deal with it. What I’m about to say is going to make you angry. I kept a secret from you. I got sick. I know we all thought it wasn’t a genetic thing and that I would be okay, but I’m not. I’m sick and I’m going to die. I’ve had so many rounds of chemo that I can’t even tell you how many. So many failed attempts at remission. The tumor is in my brain. I’m opting to have a surgery to try and remove it. If the surgery works then I should be cancer free. If the surgery doesn’t work, well that would mean I would die. So either way I’m pretty screwed, the chances of survival with the surgery are about 5%. So either way I guess. I don’t want you to be angry. I know you're not mad at me, you’re going to be so angry at yourself for leaving me but Derek it’s what had to happen. I’m glad you haven’t seen me lately. I don’t feel or even look like myself. Remember me how I was that night. You know the one. So I guess this is a goodbye. I never thought we would have to do this. I’m sorry Derek. Please keep living for me. I love you. Y/n

By the time he finished reading he felt completely numb. You were gone. He would never hear your voice again. He would never kiss you or hold you again. He stood up and ran. He ended up at a spot that you and him had been so many times. He walked over and his gut was right. Where there had been one stone for so many years, there were now two. He walked over and sat down in front of it. He ran his hand over the words, Y/n L/n The light of everyone’s life. The date was from over a year before. You had been gone a year and he didn’t even know it. The love of his life was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. He all of a sudden couldn’t breathe. He was a mess of tears and sobs. He put his head in his hands. If he would’ve known he could’ve done something. He could’ve gotten you turned. As soon as that thought crossed his mind he got angry. He couldn’t have saved you. If you had known about him and the supernatural, you wouldn’t have wanted the bite. You wouldn’t want it because it would’ve changed everything. He was pacing now. His anger and grief got the best of him as he let out a very loud roar. He knew all of Beacon Hills probably heard it, but at the moment he didn’t care. The only thing he cared about was gone and never coming back. He looked down at the head stone before kissing his fingers and placing them gently on the top, “ I love you too.”

[asterekmess]

(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.

ANYWAY.

I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.

ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)

I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.

Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.

We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)

Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.

And what’s creepy about that?

[stxrrywildflower]

brother

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you lose your brother to the hands of a killer

warnings - cursing, blood, injury details, character death (not major, just mentioned)

word count - ?

note - this was kinda just a little idea i had and wanted to write it :)

the team walked into the conference room on monday, ready for whatever case was presented. once sitting down, everyone seemed to notice that you were missed.

“where’s y/n?” morgan asked, looking over at spencer for answers. he shrugged, “i haven’t talked to her since last night.”

the second strange occurrence was that hotch motioned for garcia to sit down. he took the remote and stood in front of this team. all eyes were on their boss as he took a deep breath.

“i have to warn you, this case is going to impact us all emotionally,” hotch spoke. just as he hit the first button, pictures of two victims appeared on the screens and tablets; one male and one female. “is that?” j.j. started.

“lake placid, new york. two victims, clara smith and benjamin y/l/n. yes, this is y/n’s younger brother. she took the first flight out this morning upon hearing the news. we were called in due to the fact that benjamin had y/n’s name carved into his right arm.”

with the information presented, the team felt like a bomb was dropped on them. everyone met benjamin at least once. for spencer, he had met benjamin on multiple occasions.

“of course y/n is going to be affected by this, that is obvious but we need to be there for her. she is also most likely going to bring her in for questioning. then, she can pick whoever she wants to talk to and we go from there,” hotch spoke before adding, “wheels up in 20.”

after the team briefed on the plane and got their assignments, spencer moved away from the team and over to one of the seats in the corner. derek noticed the younger agents absence and sat down in the seat across from him.

“what’s on your mind kid?” morgan asked.

spencer rubbed he bridge of his nose before speaking, “y/n, she lost her brother to a killer. we saw how that affected hotch, i can’t imagine what’s going to happen with her.” derek leaned forward and rested his arms on the table between them.

“kid i know you’re worried about her, and you have every right to be. and i know you lost someone too, don’t act like i don’t know you and benjamin were friends. but right now, we really just need to be there for her and catch this unsub.” spencer presses his lips together and nodded. he thanked the older agent before going back to his own thoughts.

the team arrived in lake placid an hour and a half later. j.j. and hotch were going to the police station to set up, rossi and spencer were going to the morgue to look at the first victim, and derek and emily were going to where the latest victim was found. the body of benjamin remained there due to how little time had passed since he was found as well as the markings on his arm.

derek and emily pulled up to the hill overlooking the lake where benjamin was found. a couple local police officers were scattered around, checking for other evidence. however, they noticed a familiar figure,  squatting down by benjamin’s body.

you stood up upon hearing a car pull in on the dirt being you. you then turned around to see derek and emily stepping out of the suv. you kept your eyes on the grass hill as the other two agents took in your appearance.

you were dressed in leggings with a white simple tank top and your black combat boots. a tan knitted cardigan that fell long down your back and was a little oversized in the sleeves. your eyes were red and puffy, no doubt from crying.

emily took a hesitant step toward you as derek moved past you to the body. no words were exchanged between the two of you as emily pulled you into a hug, cradling your head with her hand as you pressed your forehead into her shoulder.

“why don’t you go to the car. we’re going to the police station after we are done here,” emily spoke in such a calm and reassuring voice that you followed her orders and sat in the back of the car.

the other two agents made their way back to the after just a few short minutes. the body was being brought to the morgue for further inspection. the drive back was painfully long. as emily drove, derek noticed you in the back seat visible shaking. your head was pressed up against the window as you bounced your leg.

once arriving at the police station, derek jumped out of the car to alert the team of your presence as emily helped you out of the car. she kept her arm around your waist as she led you into the building. you felt all eyes on you as you walked in. you pressed your lips together and slowly looked up at your team. off to the side you noticed your parents, talking to one of the police officers. honestly, you weren’t close with your parents at all and you already greeted them.

spencer was the first to notice the tears begining to fall down your cheeks. he tossed down the file onto the desk before slowly walking over to you. “y/n,” he spoke in a soft voice. you didn’t say anything but instead wrapped your arms around him. he pulled you into a tighter embrace, not caring that his shirt was getting wet from your tears.

the team watched on as spencer whispered something in your ear. it was inaudible to them but upon seeing him lead you over to a chair before sitting down and pulling you into his lap was explanation enough.

“when she’s ready we’ll see who she wants to interview her. for now, morgan and j.j. interview the parents. find out what you can on the personalities and social life of these victims. rossi, head down to the morgue and find out the similarities. everyone else, victimology,” hotch ordered.

it took you close to a half an hour for you to fully calm down. rossi was just walking back in the doors when you had told spencer you wanted to do the interview.

“i’m ready,” you told your boss with a slight smile, trying to put on a brave face.

“alright who with?” hotch responded. you looked around the room at your team who were all doing their own things. “you,” you responded.

hotch nodded before leading you to the interrogation room. once entering, you took a seat as your team gathered in front of the window to watch your interview. they wanted to get better information but at the same time, wanted to be there for you.

“alright y/n, just for record, what is your relation to benjamin y/l/n,” hotch asked first. “older sister,” you simply stated.

“why don’t you start out with telling me anything about benjamin. then we will go into actual questions, okay?” you nodded to hotch’s words as you mentally prepared yourself.

you took a deep breath before starting, “benjamin and i were always close, practically best friends. since we’re two years apart, a lot of my friends were his friends and the same with my friends. we never had the cliche of not wanting to be around each other in high school. when i committed to nyu, he was so proud. prouder than my parents i would say. i was just so scared of leaving him. we really relied on each other. but deep down i knew he would be fine. benjamin wasn’t exactly popular but he was so nice to everyone. kinda became what he was known for,” you let out a slight chuckle at that.

“and then when i was 20, he committed to university of south carolina. being so far away from my brother was difficult but we made a habit of talking two or three times a week. and that stuck to today. when i told him i was applying and then got accepted into the fbi acadamy, i wasn’t sure who was more excited, me or him. he told me that he knew i would be such a good agent because i loved helping people. i moved to washington, d.c. and him to new york city. i didn’t get to visit him as much as i would like but again, we called. he was only supposed to be up here on a visit. he loved meeting the team so much. him and spencer got on so well because they both had such similar interests. and it really made my so happy to see them bonding,” you spoke.

“deep down you always have a fear that this job is going to take someone you love. whether it’s a significant other and a family member. i just never thought it could happen to benjamin and i don’t know what to do. should i be mourning him or jumping right back into work? nothing feels right. i just feel so fucking guilty that he’s dead. the killer wanted me here and took away my brother because of that. my own name was carved into his arm. i just don’t know what to do,” you managed to choke out. hotch stopped for a moment, moved slightly by your speech. before he would have to ask you the tough questions, he decided to give you advice.

“when i lost hayley, i felt like there was such a big gap missing. foyet took away someone i loved. but, i had jack and the team. both kept me going and helped me grieve but also move on and continue a sense of normality. the team is all here for you as well as your parents,” hotch said to you. he was about to respond but stopped when you rolled your eyes and laughed slightly. “i doubt they really care,” you grimaced.

“excuse me?” hotch responded, confused on your comment.

you leaned forward and rested your elbows on the table. “you know know deep down you have the feeling someone doesn’t like you? with both their body language and words? that’s how benjamin and i felt growing up. our parents made sure that they were around just enough that was legal and allowed but they never really seamed to care about us. when benjamin and i both went to college, they absolutely didn’t care. didn’t get a goodbye either. didn’t even show up to our graduations. they always hated us for not visiting but benjamin and i agreed that we wouldn’t unless we both felt that it was right to do so. i’m shocked if their mourning right now,” you revealed.

derek suddenly stepped away from the integration room just as hotch was asking you more questions and went over to the phone. just as the team followed, they heard him ask garcia for records on your parents.

“i think we need to look into y/n’s parents. i got a bad feeling from them when interviewing and i think what she said might be a key,” derek spoke in a hushed voice. from there, the team dispatched.

you and hotch exited your interview twenty minutes later. you were mentally exhausted from having to recall all these memories about your deceased brother. j.j. was the only one in the station. you heard her tell hotch where each individual member of the team went. you sat down at one of the desks and looked at the case file of the first girl. she was a high school senior, you had no clue who she was or why she was the first victim.

you decided to do some digging and dialed garcia number. “hey pen,” you spoke softly into the phone. “oh y/n, how are you feeling lovie?” the technical analyst responded. “i’m coping. this is just a curiosity question but did clara have any siblings?” you asked.

“she had an older brother. he moved to los angeles from new york and is currently on a flight back home,” garcia informed your. “alright thank you penelope, you’re the best,” you said as you hung up.

“hey hotch,” you spoke softly, gaining the attention of your boss. “clara had an older brother who moved away from home. i think that this might connect our victims,” you informed him. hotch obviously didn’t like that you were doing work but he dismissed it and looked at the file. “maybe he’s punishing the older siblings for leaving their younger sibling,” you suggested. hotch nodded and with a quick ‘good work’ to you, he was on the phone and out of the room.

days later, the team had a lead. your parents had rushed to the police station upon hearing this. the unsub wasn’t working alone but if they found one, they could find the others. as the team was begining to grab their gear, you reached to your side to make sure your gun was there. instead, you found nothing but an empty holster.

“hotch where’s my gun,” you asked sternly. hotch glanced up and motioned with his head over to where rossi stood. the oldest agent had your gun secured to the other side of his hip. “you aren’t coming,” was all hotch said as a response.

“like hell i’m not!” you exclaimed.

hotch as well as the team looked at you. “you are too emotionally invested in the case. we do this to any agent who is directly linked. stay here and we will be back soon.” with that, the bau team rushed out the door and to the cars.

you collapsed into a chair and put your head in your hands. all you could do was wait.

an hour later, the team walked into the station holding a man in his early 20’s. he held a wide smirk as morgan pushed him in. you stood up, stoned face with shaking hands.

“he did it?” you asked morgan, your voice barely above a whisper. derek nodded grimly.

“oh so you must be ben’s older sister! shame mommy dearest had to kill him. i don’t blame your parents, it really was your fault after all,” the unsub taunted.

your parents? you turned around to where your mom and dad were now standing. the pieces slowly clicked in your mind. you stormed over to your mom, pushing her into the wall and holding her neck against it with your arm.

“you killed him?” you asked sharply. your mom didn’t respond but you instead pressed your arm further into her neck. “answer me!” you yelled, tears welling in your eyes. the team had never seen you so angry and aggressive before.

j.j. and spencer rushed forward, pulling you away from your mom. spencer wrapped his arm around your waist and led you out of the police station. once in a more secluded area, you broke.

sobs racked your body as tears openly fell. spencer kept you in a tight embrace the entire time. you cried for your bother. you cried over the fact that your parents had murdered their own son. you didn’t even consider them parents anymore.

it had taken you awhile to calm down. spencer’s phone had started ringing, causing you to pull away. you managed to catch a glimpse of the caller i.d. and once seeing your bosses name, you nudged spencer. he shot you a smile before standing up and answering the phone.

a minute later, he returned. “hotch wants to know if you are staying here or returning back to d.c. with us tonight,” spencer spoke softly. “d.c.,” you responded blandly. your boyfriend spoke to hotch again briefly before hanging out.

“i don’t think i ever want to come back here again.”

on the jet that night, the team was in one corner, talking quietly amongst themselves, while you were in the other. spencer was convincing you to try and sleep. he stayed by your side, rubbing soft circles on your thigh as you slowly drifted off. once you were fully asleep, spencer stood up and took a seat next to emily.

“you think she’s going to be okay?” morgan asked.

spencer sighed, “i don’t know. her brother was murdered and she found out it was by her own parents? there’s a lot of trauma there.” hotch looked at his team. “i’m making her take two weeks off minimum. then, after a psych evaluation, she can return,” he informed them. they all knew you wouldn’t want to take a longer break than you had to.

spencer looked over at your sleeping figure before standing up. he was satisfied with the teams short conversation and made his way back over to where you slept, taking a seat next to you. you immediately leaned into his side as his arm draped around you. j.j. tossed spencer a blanket, smiling at the two of you.

spencer sighed, content before shutting his eyes and drifting off beside you.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@dancingcoolcat​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@ixchel-9275​

__________________________________________________________

There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met.  They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another.  But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n).  And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone.  As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.  

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best.  In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards).  Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me.  It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm.  It had been a long day.  5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor.  I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang.  She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together.  She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs.  We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had.  For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me.  We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us.  When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself.  For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him.  I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system.  We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life.  You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her.  Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them.  Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on.  Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy.  I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered.  Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm.  Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly.  I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet.  With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU.  From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress.  I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive.  But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s.  She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life.  You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future.  She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose.  Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery.  His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted.  I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her.  I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly.  God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice.  I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded.  I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

[lowellchanning]

Q U O T E

Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

B A S I C S

NAME lowell thibodeaux channing NAME MEANING since lowell’s father passed before he was born, lowell’s mom, birdie, wanted to honor her late husband in naming their son. channing means young wolf, so she chose lowell, meaning little wolf, as a way to carry on her husband’s legacy. thibodeaux, meaning bold or brave, is birdie’s maiden name. NICKNAMES in college when he grew a beard each basketball season he garnered the name sasquatch, sometimes shortened to squatch. some of his coworkers call him that around the station. GENDER cis male PROUNOUNS he/him AGE thirty-two BIRTHDAY august 13 BIRTH PLACE new orleans, lousiana

F A M I L Y

PARENTS guy channing (father; deceased), birdie (mother; surname tbd); charles (step-dad; surname tbd) SIBLINGS step-sister (name tbd; wanted connection here!) PETS gus, a rhodesian ridgeback

A P P E A R A N C E 

FACE CLAIM derek theler BUILD 6′5, athletic. lowell’s muscles have always tended to be defined without him having to put too much effort into it, though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t put in the hours needed both for his health and his profession. lowell balances his love of junk food and midnight snacks with lean proteins and plenty of greens. HAIR light brown. the longer it gets, the more curl and texture it has, and lowell takes the time to style it properly. when he grows a beard his whiskers tend to be more on the ginger rather than brunette side of things. EYES blue DISTINGUISHING MARKS surgical scar on his left elbow from fixing a break sustained during a basketball game when he was 12. TATTOOS wolf paw print between his shoulder blades STYLE modern, casual comfort. shorts, tanks, jeans, t-shirts, and flannels. ACCESSORIES his father’s watch. lowell doesn’t wear it on his wrist, but it’s usually in one of his pockets, or kept safe and tucked away in his nightstand. HYGIENE lowell sometimes showers multiple times a day, and has for years depending on sport practices, games, and workouts, and then on work calls SCENT le labo santal 33; sandalwood and leather

P S Y C H O L O G Y

LANGUAGES english and some creole phrases/expressions VOCABULARY average-ish. he can figure out ‘big’ words with good context, and got used to looking things up from a young age. MEMORY keeping a calendar and to-do lists on his phone is needed more so for organizational and focus TEMPERAMENT sanguine  LEARNING STYLE mainly kinaesthetic, but there are some auditory elements that work for lowell. EMOTIONAL STABLITY pretty high, though that’s because lowell’s worked hard (after some rough teenage years) to have a steady foundation, which his job definitely depends on. sometimes he still bottles things up and will release it all during a workout, but over the years he’s learned when to confront something head-on rather than allowing it to fester. 

C H A R A C T E R

PRIORITIES carrying for others and most importantly his family, both familial and found MOTIVATION making his family proud SELF CONFIDENCE lowell’s always had confidence in his physical abilities. it’s his intelligence where his confidence will at times waiver, but he feels like he’s found a profession that allows him to shine. SELF CONTROL lowell had to learn some level of discipline pretty early on when it came to managing sports and academics. those lessons his mom helped instill have carried through to adulthood and lowell’s career choices. HOBBIES playing music, basketball, outdoor adventures, camping, gardening MANNERISMS usually a bouncing leg/knee when sitting still, especially for too long. running his hands through his hair when talking. touching his neck when nervous. scratching his forehead or cheek when stumped and trying to come up with an answer so he won’t feel dumb. also saying his sirs or ma’ams or missus as his mother taught and expected of him. HABITS after failed medication attempts, lowell found that yoga helps center and focus his mind, plus has improved his overall flexibility, which helps on the job, so he does at least a short routine every morning. on saturdays or sundays, depending on his shifts, he’ll make a big breakfast spread, have hot chocolate (sometimes with coffee), and do a crossword puzzle, because having to look up clues on his phone isn’t cheating, it’s just learning. ABILITIES strength and endurance. musicality. empathy.  INEPTITUDES lowell isn’t the brightest crayon in the toolshed, and had to put forth a lot more effort than most when it came to learning and course work in school. he also can’t dance. whatever grace and agility he has when it comes to athletics, and the fact that he can drum and keep a beat, goes completely away the moment he steps on a dance floor.  SOFT SPOTS animals, tiny humans, and other people who have suffered loss GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT graduating college, then the firefighter academy, and passing his EMSVO, EMT, and AEMT certifications WESTERN ZODIAC leo CHINESE ZODIAC dragon PRIMAL SIGN orca HOGWARTS hufflepuff ONE SONG "in the air tonight" phil collins ONE BOOK the giving tree shel silverstein ONE MOVIE mrs. doubtfire

P R E F E R E N C E S

LIKES the tired feeling in his muscles and bones after a productive and intense workout or physical call. tacos. pizza. nachos. whoopie pies. his mom’s etouffee and po-boys. root beer floats. spending the day out in nature. gaming. sports. DISLIKES moxie. salt and vinegar chips. ranch dressing. still not a huge fan of maine winters but dealing with it. KINKS consensual voyeurism. PET PEEVES people who are rude to service workers. the trend of crank 9-1-1 calls on tiktok.

H O M E  +  W O R K  +  E D U C A T I O N

HOMETOWN new orleans, lousiana (until 14); somerton, maine CURRENT RESIDENCE bridgeport, row house TRADITIONS sunday family dinners HIGH SCHOOL bursted park high (basketball and jazz band) COLLEGE somerton university (basketball) DEGREES b.s. with a concentration on social work/sciences CERTIFICATIONS FFI, FFII, hazardous material operations, public safety diver, EMSVO, EMT, AEMT PROFESSION firefighter/emt (10+ years) EMPLOYER somerton fire and rescue EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES pick-up basketball, cover band drummer

B I O

New Orleans was all Lowell had ever known. Aside from only a few out of state vacations, the city had always been home. And honestly, growing up in Nola meant Lowell got the best of the both worlds: big city living with a small town feel thanks to the neighborhoods and wards of Nola. Families on their street were friendly and nosy, and honestly Lowell’s mom, Birdie, didn’t mind at all because one, she had nothing to hide, and two, was more than happy that when other people learned of her situation -- a widowed and working single mom -- they were more than willing to help out. Which was how instead of becoming a latchkey kid, between after school hours and school vacation, Lowell became a surrogate member of more than a few neighboring families. And while Birdie wished she had been able to make it home from the hospital for more dinners, she was always home in time to sit down at the kitchen table and help Lowell struggle through his assigned school work.

The story was always the same each new school year, with every parent-teacher conference and IEP meeting. Lowell was always a pleasure to have in class, but he was either struggling with math or reading comprehension or his overall attention was lacking. But while Lowell and the general classroom weren’t on the best of terms, he excelled in other areas. Given his size and the fact that he towered over most of his classmates, it wasn’t shocking when the gym teacher had glowing remarks and commented that Lowell’s abilities were well beyond his years, but Birdie was surprised to learn from the music teacher that her son was both attentive and eager to learn in her class, too. After informing Lowell that participation in extracurriculars was dependent upon remaining in good academic standing, sports and music became an award system of sorts. It also didn’t hurt that burning through energy on the field or court, or banging it out with his drums meant that Lowell was less inclined to take out his frustrations of not understanding a word problem or summary question on a kitchen chair or wall.

The summer before eighth grade Lowell started to notice that his mom was coming home early from shifts now and again, getting gussied up, and leaving him with instructions for cooking frozen pizza or bagel bites while she went out. She was always home in time to look over homework and make sure Lowell was in bed on time, so Lowell never wondered too hard about it. Until the day she came home and said they’d be having a guest for dinner. Lowell met whom would become his step-dad that night. Two weeks later he met whom would become his step-sister. And before the start of the new school year, but after a small ceremony in the backyard, the new family had packed up all their belongings to move nearly 2000 miles up north. Chuck, an anesthesiologist,  had a new job at Kane-Russell Memorial in Somerton, and there was no doubt that he could pull strings and get Birdie on the RN rotation there, too.

While having a new family should have been the biggest change in Lowell’s life, everything about Maine was so different from Louisiana. Somedays it felt like Lowell was waking up in a whole new country, especially with his accent and missing his favorite local foods. But eventually school started and Lowell fell back into familiar routines of sports, music, and school work, and soon enough it wasn’t so scary putting roots down in a new place with a new family.

By the time Lowell graduated high school he had a scholarship for Somerton U. Even though he could have lived at home, he lived on-campus to have the full college experience, which also included playing as 4-year starter Seahorse on the basketball team. Lowell might have graduated with a social sciences degree, but after their team bus came upon an accident one winter night and Lowell witnessed firsthand everything the emergency response squads were doing to not only save people, but just to calm their nerves, he sort of felt like maybe he had a found something that could be a good fit for him. Lowell was already working towards his EMT certification when he graduated, and after moving back home began to apply to the Somerton firehouse. Lowell’s been part of the Somerton Fire, Rescue, and EMT Services family for ten years now and loves that every day is a bit of a new adventure. When he’s not working, Lowell’s playing drums in a cover band that sometimes performs at On the Rocks or hanging out with dog, Gus.

[charliesworkshop]

Pairing: Loki x fem!Reader

Song of the day: Hurts - Something I Need To Know

Chapter warnings: angst, a lot of angst tbh, cheating if you squint, imma say abusive relationship just so there won't be any surprises

AN: Series of smutty / angsty fics inspired by songs by the band Hurts. Mostly angsty, because I'm a sucker for pain.

Reader is an Avenger with the power to create and control fire, and as they say, opposite attracts, so Loki takes interests in her.

MASTERLIST 🌹

Loki had a lot of patience. He just didn't like to use it, not when it was about things he really wanted. In this case he wanted to know what the fuck was going on between you and him.

You've been on one date so far, if you can call watching a movie and drinking whisky in the Avnegers' Tower a date.

You've shared few kisses, stolen in those rare moment when you've been left alone, hasty and innocent, nothing more than two pairs of uncertain lips brushing against each other.

But it was enough for his heart to quicken its pace whenever he thought of your soft, warm lips on his. The memory of your taste lingering in his mind long after you've left.

He assumed everything was going well, but then you suddenly stopped texting him back, ignored all his calls, and it's been almost a week since the two of you talked.

It would be much easier if you lived in the tower, but you were politely refusing moving in every time someone suggested it, jokingly saying that you didn't pay hell of a price for your own place only to abandon it after two years.

But it wasn't that hard to find out where you lived, it only took few hours of convincing and a promise to his brother that he won't do anything stupid or irresponsible with that information, and Thor asked Stark about it.

Gathering enough courage to actually go and see you was entirely different story. He really wanted to talk, to understand why you acted like this, but on the other hand, he had no rights to violate your privacy like that.

It was eating him alive, though, the fear that he did something wrong, that he somehow offended you, was creeping underneath his skin, present in his every breath, thought, beat of his heart. He was scared he's hurt you in some way, that he made you leave him.

It took him two days to finally snap. Whatever the truth was, he needed to know, for the sake of his sanity. And it was obvious you were hiding something from him.

It was Friday evening when he decided he's ready to talk to you, he was drinking Asgardian mead Thor brought from home, going through everything he said and did around you, and he couldn't find a single reason why would you ignore him.

He was tired of suspicions, tired of wondering why.

So he ordered a cab and went to see you in your flat in Hell's Kitchen, so sure of what he's going to say, so sure...

Until you opened the doors, dressed in an oversized sweater and nothing more, your hair messy, mascara smudged around reddened eyes, eyelashes still clumped with tears that already dried on your cheeks.

And all words escaped him in a split second, his heart dropping to his stomach, heavy, drumming, aching.

"It's really not a good time," you spoked in hoarse voice, barely above whisper, but it cut through air like a whip.

"Is it... Is it because of me?" He would rip his heart out if he was the reason of your misery.

"Why...? No, no," you stammered looking everywhere but his face, "I'll explain everything, just... Tonight isn't a good time," you repeated this like a mantra, hoping that will be enough to make him go away. But the look on his face was telling you it won't work.

"Y/n, I need to know, please..." He was ready to beg you for an explanation, but then his gaze fell upon a bag lying on the floor next to a couch, overflowing with clothes.

Male clothes.

"What's going on?" His firm voice made you shudder, your shoulders slumped even more and you looked like if you wanted the ground to open and swallow you whole.

You knew he noticed, and there was nothing you could say to make things better. So you remained silent, gaze fixed on his shoes, your eyes filling with tears again.

No one was supposed to know about this, about your stupid ex who didn't want to leave your flat for weeks now. Especially not Loki.

You planned on telling him about Derek, but after you're finally free from him, after you fix the mess of this horrible break up.

"Do you... Are you in a relationship with someone else, y/n?" You could hear the hurt in his voice, how he swallowed hard, it's must have been really difficult for him to ask this.

"Not anymore... We broke up two weeks ago for good," you answered honestly, a sigh leaving your trembling lips as you looked up at him.

It was over. You couldn't hide it anymore and Loki deserved better, much better. All of his emotions were written on his pale face, paler than usual, more tired and troubled, you noticed.

You knew what's going to happen next, so his outburst didn't surprise you. But it didn't hurt less just because you were prepered.

"Two weeks...? Two weeks?!" You stepped back, watching him with fear as he stalked you, closing the gap between you two, until you had nowhere else to run, back of your legs hitting the armrest of the couch. "You want to say you were with someone else when I kissed you for the first time?! How could you...?"

He knew he was probably overreacting, and that it was the alcohol speaking, but he was angry at you. He couldn't wrap his finger around what was going on in your head at that time when he kissed you for the first time, and then the second, and then another... And you were always kissing him back, despite having a boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, Loki... I didn't want to hurt you... I just didn't know how to tell you..."

"I wanted to know the truth, it's my fault," he laughed darkly, almost histerically, clenching and unclenching his fists over and over again, trying to calm down, to build a wall between you and him, his hurt feelings, and sarcasm was his way to do it. "I can't believe I actually thought I did something wrong."

"I know you're angry, but let me explain, please..." You wanted to make him understand, but it'd be very hard without telling him all the details of your previous relationship, without admitting how fucked up it was, how much you wanted to escape it. To the point that when Loki made a move... you didn't fight it.

"What, y/n? What do you want to explain? I already know everything," he half snarled, half laughed at you, and you could feel hot tears stinging your eyes.

"I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up, I know..." your throat was tight as you fought the tears, the clearly audible crack in your voice threatening to break your ability to speak. But you swallowed the lump in your throat, bravely looked up at his face, and continued, "You have all rights to be angry, but just listen..."

"You cheated on your boyfriend with me, y/n," he interrupted you once again, and suddenly, you got angry as well, "Prove me wrong."

You knew he was right, that he was hurt by your actions, by you ignoring him for a week, you really knew and understood... But something about him not listening made you so, so angry in that moment, because he knew the feeling of being misunderstood, he knew how it it feels when no one listens, no one lets you explain.

"I didn't cheat," you snapped at him, all those bottled for weeks feelings finally finding their outlet, and you felt good and bad at the same time, but it was too late to stop, so you continued, "I can't cheat on someone who's never here when I need them. I can't cheat on someone who's just using me as a stress relief and never listens to what I want! You think you know everything..." you smiled with sorrow, your brows knitted, folding arms on your chest, "But the truth is you know nothing about me. And you definitely know nothing about him," you finished with an angry huff, unfolding your arms and walking around Loki to your doors to open them wider. "You should go."

"Y/n, I had no idea," he muttered, turning around to face you, but you've had enough, you've made your mind.

"Yeah, but you decided to judge me anyway, so go. I already told you it's not a good time," your voice was cold, firm, he never heard it before, he didn't even know you were able to sound so aggressively. "He'll be here soon to pick up his shit. I have enough problems without him knowing about you."

You were no longer looking at him, and the entire anger clouding his mind faded away when he noticed how your shoulders trembled under the weight of anger, guilt, and sadness.

"Y/n... I'm sorry... You should've told me..."

"I want you out of my house, I won't repeat myself," you threatened, glancing at him, your eyes flashing red for a second, but you managed to control the fire spreading through your veins, only your fingertips were burning, foreboding flames that were soon to burst out of your clenched fist. "Don't come here again."

He wasn't going to challenge his luck, knowing that with your powers you can easily hurt him very badly, even kill him if you really wanted. So he walked passed you, his lips pursed, as he took in the sight of your broken face.

"I'm sorry," he only said again, and then left you alone, the sound of slamming of your front doors echoing long in his ears.

So after all, he was the one who fucked things up. And only because he didn't listen.

Tag list: @someonekeepstakingmyusernames

So... first of all, sorry it took so long, I'm struggling with a writer's block, but I really wanted to finally finish and post this. It turned out more angsty than I intended, and I promise the next parts are gonna be better. I have no one to check for mistakes and grammar errors, and I typed it on my phone, so I'm sorry if there are any. Dunno when I'll write the next part, hopefully sooner than later. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! <3

[imaginedeux]

Girl At The Rock Show (E.D. Imagine)

A/N: So Warped Tour happened like almost a year ago now, and I've been wanting to write something. I’ve read a couple of imagines where the reader goes to Cochella with the twins, but I haven't read them going to Warped Tour, and that’s honestly a concept. The show is going to be in San Diego, but i’ll be putting set times from when I went.

“Hey whats up guys! We’re back! Well, I’m back, Grayson is sick and can't film/ can't leave the house, but don't worry, we have four other amazing people here to help me with today’s video! Please introduce yourselves to the camera!” Ethan yelled at the camera from the passenger seat, pointing it at you.

“Hey! It’s (Y/N)! And I’m currently driving E’s car the three hour journey to San Diego.” You fake groaned, before you smiled at the camera, making sure you stayed in your lane. Your three other friends in the back seat all yelled hello before Ethan said he would update them when they got to the location.

“Awesome, now for a 3 hour nap.” Ethan sighed, putting his feet onto the dashboard.

“Oh, heck nah! You have at least three hours to learn one song from one of the bands playing today.” You explained, giving him your phone that was tethered to the car’s bluetooth. “I have a playlist on Spotify with a bunch of songs from some bands playing today, so you better get learning.”

“I’ll give you 3 seconds to guess where we are today!” Ethan yelled at his camera as you grabbed your draw string backpack from the trunk, ready to get the long day stared. “Well you’re probably wrong, or you're right cause you read the title to the video. I’m at the LAST Vans Warped Tour in San Diego! As you know a couple of months ago, Gray and I surprised (Y/N) with a ticket to Cochella, and she had the time of her life. Now a month-ish ago she surprised Gray and I with tickets to Warped Tour, but unfortunately Gray got sick, so we gave his ticket to one of (Y/N)’s friends since they didn't have the chance to buy a ticket before it sold out. So now we’re here, I’m not sure how much i’ll be able to film because it is a sold out gig and there are going to be a ton of people, I might just get (Y/N) to film for me.”

“I’ll only film for you if you end up crowd surfing, everything else is on you.” You shook your head closing the trunk of his car, after making sure everyone had what they needed. “Alright lets head out!” A five minute walk from the rather sketchy $20 parking lot later, your group came across the end of the line. “No fucking way, the entrance is literally around the block, and the doors don't open for another hour.”

“See, I told you we should have brought the cans of food, we would have gotten early entrances.” Your friend Carla, lectured as people with bags of food cans walked by.

“I completely forgot about them! I could have sworn I had them at the apartment before we left, but I couldn't find them this morning.” You explained, groaning. If you had non-perishable cans of food, or even an old cellphone, and you donated them, you'd be able to enter the grounds, about half an hour before everyone else did.

“Wait, were they all cans of corn?” Ethan asked from behind you. Turning, you gave him a look.

“Yes...” You answered squinting your eyes at him. “Did you take them?! I swear E, if you did...” You started before Ethan covered your mouth with his free hand, the other holding onto the camera recording the scene in front of him.

“No, wait, they’re in the car. They were in the cardboard boxes next to the first aid kit.” Ethan explained, pointing the camera at himself, before the group of you started to yell.

“E, can you PLEASE, go and grab them? Please! I’ll buy you a whole pineapple pizza to yourself when we get to the hotel tonight.” You pleaded, taking the camera away from him. A laugh at the group later, he was sprinting back towards the car, ready to get this long day started.

“Thank you guys for the donations, you all have a good day!” The woman taking the cans said, scanning your tickets.

“Likewise!” The lot of you smiled back, making your way towards the grounds. “So how is this going to work? Cause I know Carla, Kevin and Jack wanna go and see Crown The Empire, and it looks like they’re one of the first to play at the White Lightning Stage, and that’s on the other side of the venue.” You said looking up between the inflatable line-up and the venue map you payed way too much for. 

“Well, it looks like All Time Low is gonna be the last to play today at the Right Foot Stage at 8:30, and thats a band we all wanna see so we can meet up at the end of the day of thats what you want?” Jack, said pointing at the line up. This was one of the things about warped, most of the time the bands you wanna see play at same time and on opposite sides of the venue. 

“Wait look, Chase Atlantic is playing at 7:55, isn't that the band you wanna see?” You asked looking up at Ethan, who was looking back at the line up.

“Yeah it is, but its at 7:55, which means that we’ll be late to the band y'all wanna see.” Ethan realized, looking at how long Chase would play. “I know you’ve been wanting to see All Time Low for years, and I don't want you to miss out on them.”

“Thats nonsense, so looks like we have a plan. Jack, you, Carla and Kevin wanna see the same bands, so you can stick together. I’ll stick with Ethan, so we’ll meet you at the Right Foot Stage at around 8:30, if anything I brought an extra battery pack so I can text y'all.” You smiled at the group before the five of you split. 

“You ready to see a real rock show?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, maybe its a good idea that Gray didn't come, he’d be freaking out about Chase, he’s the one who got me into them.” Ethan laughed as the two of you walked by multiple vendors trying to sell the two of you things you really didn't need. 

“Get your free bracelet for the opportunity to meet State Champs!” A vendor yelled as you walked by, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. You weren't sure if it was the State Champs t-shirt you decided to wear with a pair of high waisted black shorts and your trusty Sk-8 Hi black Vans, or if it was the multiple home-made SC patches that decorated our backpack, that made the lady yell the moment you passed by.

“E, give me a second.” You whispered, before you hauled ass towards the booth with the lady who was yelling. “Hi, is it true you’re giving fans a chance to meet State Champs?”

“Yup, I saw your patches and I couldn't let the opportunity pass. So, it is a free meet and greet, all you have to do is watch this video, its only 2 minutes long so it won't take too much time out of your day, then after its done, we’ll go ahead and give you a bracelet for the meet and greet at 1:30 at the tent right next door.” She explained pointing at the places that you needed to go to, to be able to meet your favorite band at the festival.

“Can I get to meet them too?” The hazel eyed boy asked from beside you.

“Sure, just go ahead and watch a quick video and I’ll give you a bracelet to meet them at 1:30 at the tent next door.” She gave him the same smile she gave you, pointing everything out. The video was short and to the point, don't smoke, it'll kill you. “Thank you so much for watching the video, and here are the bracelets you need to meet State Champs. The meet and greet will start at 1:30 so if you want to get here before hand thats alright.”

“Thank you!” The two of you yelled, walking away from the tent not sure what to do next. “So are there any bands you wanna see?” 

“DID YOU SEE THAT?!” Ethan yelled coming back up from behind you, you had to admit that you were surprised to see Ethan actually crowd surf his way to the front where Mayday Parade was playing.

“Of course I did, and you're gonna be happy I got that all on film.” You laughed at him, with the camera in your hand. You and your friends were concert goers but not brave enough to crowd surf yet. “This video is going to be killer to edit next week.”

“Dont worry I’ll get Gray to edit it since he was too sick to come along.” Ethan laughed looking over the crowd as they jumped and danced along to the band covering Blink-182′s Girl at The Rock Show. “Not even at Coachella are people this hyped to see their favorite band or artist. We need to come to more of these.”

“Some of the bands have been making music since a lot of these kids were young, they grew up hearing these bands. Warped is decently priced so this might be some of these peoples only chance of seeing their favorite band live.” You explained as the lead singer, Derek thanked the crowd for letting them play main stage, and said they would be playing their last song next, which was a fan favorite. “Come on E, Mayday’s almost done, so that means its almost 1:30, its time to meet State Champs.”

~~

“Next please!” The already annoyed merch employee yelled as some kids stepped out of the tent.

“Holy shit E, it really is them!” You mumbled covering your mouth as you and Ethan stepped into the tent.

“Hey yall, how’s warped tour going?” Derek, the lead singer asked as the two of you came face to face with one of your favorite bands in the last couple of years.

“It’s good so far, it’ll be even better once I see yall play! By the way, can I get a hug please?” You asked almost shaking, this band was the reason you got out of the comfort zone of your hometown and are the reason you moved to L.A., they gave you the courage to do everything you were scared to do before.

“Come on in here!” Ryan, one of the guitarists laughed bringing you in for a bone crushing hug. “You to my man! Hugs for everyone.” E’s laugh rumbled through the tent as the group of you came in for a group hug. You never thought that you’d ever be able to meet them, much less hug them.

“Can we get a group picture?” Ethan asked this time, you’d honestly forgotten about asking for picture with them, being in the same city as them was good enough for you.

“Sure, anything you guys wanna do?” Tyler, the other guitarist asked.

“How about 90′s rap cover group picture?” You asked shaking out of your state of shock. “Honestly its the only thing I can think of and I’m just remembering the photo of pigeons that looked like they were about to drop the greatest rap album of the century.”

“I know which one you’re talking about! Dude I honestly didn’t think anyone remembers that photo.” Tony, the bass player grinned at the thought of the pigeon photo. Handing over his phone, Ethan quickly squatted down in front of you, Derek doing the same as the rest of the band stood next to you, allowing you to be in the center of the picture. 

“Thank you again for coming to Warped Tour, thank you for being a fan of us and allowing us to come out and play all away across the country from our hometown.” Evan said giving you another hug. 

“Thank you all as well, your music gave me the courage to move out of my little hometown to L.A., without ya’ll, I don’t know where I would be.” You grinned, before you hugged all of them one last time. “Can’t wait to see yall play later!”

~~

“I still can’t believe that we met State Champs, they’re all as beautiful as they look like on Instagram.” You gushed biting into one of the ice pops the two of you bought for way too much.

“(Y/N), that was like two hours ago, you even got to see them live. How are you still going on about them?” Ethan asked chucking the stick into the nearest trashcan, it’d been a couple of hours since State Champs played and the two of you decided to wonder around the festival grounds.

“I don’t know, their music gave me so much courage to be myself, they’re the reason why i’m standing here in San Diego, because without them I wouldn’t have moved to L.A., met you, Gray, Carla, Jack, and Kevin, and without yall, I wouldnt have gotten the chance at meeting them.” You explained grinning at Ethan. “I really do owe it all to them. So, anyways, what do you wanna do now? We have a couple more hours till Chase, so we have time to do anything you want.”

“We haven’t filmed anything for the vlog in a while, why don’t we find a place to sit, and talk to the viewers.”

“Sorry it’s been a minute since we’ve updated you, but the group was disbanded so we could watch the bands we wanted to watch. What bands have we seen today?” Ethan asked, looking between you and the camera the two of you set up on an empty picnic table you were able to grab.

“We’ve seen Mayday Parade, we got to see a part of 3OH!3′s set, which was at more lit than I thought it was going to be, we saw my band State Champs, go follow them on all social media you wont regret it, when we finally got out of the pit, we got to see the last couple of songs for Simple Plan, and we just finished watching Bowling For Soup’s set. For those who dont know, Warped Tour is consisted of six different stages, the Journey’s Left Foot and Right Foot stage are the two main stages of the festival, while the other four are smaller stages, two are for the heavier bands and the other two are for smaller bands. Anyways, the reason we’ve seen 5 bands, is because they’ve been on the Left and Right stages so they’re right next to each other. Now we’re waiting for Chase Atlantic’s set and we’re going to meet back up with the group to watch All Time Low, another band you should go and follow on all social media, just follow all the bands, they’re all good.”

“Wow, talk about that plug. But I have to admit, their music has been really good, a lot of music you could work out too for sure. Oh, we also met (Y/N)’s favorite band State Champs, and they were actually really cool, they seemed really down to earth,” Ethan started before you gestured to put the photo in the video. “Insert picture here, I dont know how it looks and (Y/N), chose the pose, so if we look like idiots, blame (Y/N).”

“Hey, I’m giving them quality content, so you’re welcome.” You sassed looking down at your phone. “My friend from back home is mad at me that I’m Warped without her, and shes telling me to go check out a band if they haven’t played yet. Can I borrow your phone, to see if they’ve played yet?”

“So demanding,” Ethan joked as you grabbed his phone out of his hand. “If you have a chance at trying to come to one of these shows, do it. If you don’t mind walking around for hours, or being around large groups of people, and some of these band’s fans do go hard and start moshing, but if you don’t mind any of that, it something everyone should do at least once in their life.” 

“Hey, the band my friend is talking about is going to play in like 30 minutes, can we head over? It’s on the same page Chase Atlantic is playing at.”

~~

“We’re With Confidence, we’re all the way from Sydney, Australia, thank you so much for letting us play few songs for you guys today!” The lead singer, and also bassist said smiling. “I’m Jayden, this beautiful man on guitar is Inigo, and this equally beautiful man on drums is Josh. If you guys dont mind we’ll be meeting any one that wants to meet us, right at our tent over there, it’s big and pink you cant miss it. We’ll be signing your things and if you want, you can pre-order our album coming out at the end of the summer, and you can get both a physical and digital copy when you buy today.” 

“Oh my god, do you hear those accents? Why are they so beautiful?” You gushed as they played a new song coming out on the album they were talking about. Like most of the other songs they had played, they were all high energy, the kids up at the barricades were jumping along to the beat, and some of the kids in the middle of the crowd were opening up the pit for a circle pit, the dust flying up into the air as they ran around in a circle. That was one of the perks of being far from the barricades, and on the outside perimeter of the pit, you were able to see everything, and how the kids were reacting to the band. “I’ve never heard of this band, but they are amazing, i’m definitely signing up for a CD.”

“First, State Champs, now these guys? Who don’t you love, (Y/N)?” Ethan sighed, rolling his eyes as you got footage of the band and of the kids in the moshpit.

“I fall easily, all it takes is a pretty face and an amazing accent.” You stuck your tongue out at Ethan as the band started to play their final song.

“This entire video is going to be just you meeting bands.”  Ethan laughed as you pulled him to the meet and greet line for With Confidence.

“Hey, i’m at least giving you content E, you would have probably just pranked Gray if it wasnt for me.” You grinned at the camera knowing it was true.

“I mean true.”

“And, i’m giving your Instagram followers content as well, y’all have no idea how many times E has taken his shirt off today because of how warm it got, and he’s definitely gotten some stares from some of the kids here.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault it’s gotten warm!” He explained grabbing the camera from you, pointing it at himself as he tried to defend his actions.

“Um, I told you to wear shorts and a tank top, but no! I know how to dress for a festival, and its not going to get hot.” You mocked Ethan, grabbing the camera out of his hands as you used his cool voice. “And here he is suffering in black plaid jeans and a white long sleeve.” Laughing you showed the viewers the outfit he decided to wear to a summer festival.

“Well you’ll be the one complaining later when we go and see All Time Low, and you’re freezing.” Ethan shot back as one of the security guards started allowing the first kid to meet With Confidence.

“That’s what you think! While you were meeting some of fans, I went and bought myself an All Time Low hoodie so HA!” You laughed, shoving the camera towards Ethan to grab the hoodie you got from your favorite band. “They didnt have my size so I had to get the next size up, but its so comfortable guys.” You could already feel the shift in temperature so it was the perfect time to put on your hoodie. The hoodie reached below the hem of your shorts, and the sleeves went passed the tips of your fingers with ease, it looked like you were ready for bed, not ready to rock out at a concert.

--

Meeting With Confidence was a whole other experience, they were so happy to see people lining up to meet them. They were constantly thanking you and Ethan for being there to see them, and giving their band a chance. They were happy to hear that you were going to buy a CD and a couple of shirt from their merch stand, and were like that with the kids before and after you. A couple of heavier bands later, and Chase Atlantic started to play is when you started recording the crowd’s reaction to the band. Both you and Ethan realized that the music they’ve released, is played differently live. Rather than the sensual RnB vibe, they sounded like all the other rock bands that played that day. Midway through their set they thanked everyone for stay to see them play since they were one of the last bands playing that day, as they continued to thank the crowd, Ethan grabbed the camera and started recording the crowd from his perspective. This is something that the two of you had been doing all day, so both of you could enjoy the band, and it would give Gray more angles to edit. Its once Ethan started recording the crowd and the band that he realized how well you knew the lyrics to the songs. You swayed when the music slowed, you jumped along to the kick drum, you spun around as the lead singer sang the lyrics all the kids in the crowd knew. Ethan stepped back and started recording you as the lead singer stopped singing, allowing the crowd to sing the lyrics to one of their more famous songs. Although the temperatures continued to lower, that wasnt causing the blush on Ethan’s cheeks to appear.

“Alright, this is going to be the last song we play tonight, thank you for allowing us to play here to night, and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of the evening.” The lead singer, Mitchel, thanked as the band started playing the last song.

“E, come on! We need to head to the Right Foot Stage, Carla, Kevin and Jack are already there!” You yelled, literally pulling him out of his day dream and out of the crowd. As the two of you ran to one of the last stages still up, the two of you could hear the sea of kids singing along to some of the songs that were playing through the speakers, waiting for the final band to play. “Look, there they are!”

--

“Thank you guys so much!” Alex thanked the crowd before he started the last song of San Diego’s Warped Tour. 

“I’ve got your picture, i’m coming with you. Dear Maria count me in, theres a story at the bottom of this bottle and i’m the pen!” The entire crowd sang as, Alex, Jack and Zack jumped around the stage and around Rian, who was playing the drums. By the time the lot of you had gotten to the stage, you were a good twenty yards away from the stage, but it didnt bother you. If anything it allowed your group to step back, and be able to dance along to the songs you grew up with. It also gave Ethan the opportunity to record you guys without being shoved around in the pit. Then the song reached the long awaited climax, as Jack and Alex threw their guitars across the stage, the confetti cannons showered the crowd in multi colored paper. Although the sounds of the cannons startled Ethan, he never took his eyes off you as the pieces of paper fell around you. It was the gasp that made you stop spinning around to look at Ethan. 

He could have sworn that the sound of the crowd drowned out his gasp, but apparently it was loud enough for you to hear and stop spinning. It was the smile that put the nail in the coffin for Ethan. It was the biggest, and the realest smile he’s ever seen from you. Since the beginning of your friendship with Ethan, there was a difference in it. It wasn’t a normal friendship the two of you shared, it was something more. although the two of you refused to admit it. The two of you could lean on each other, the two of you were closer than even the fans knew about, and a majority knew how close the two of you lead on. The two of you talked about everything, from things that you saw that reminded you of each other, to desires of what you wanted to do in both the near and far future. When you started talking about how you wanted to go to the Last Cross Country Warped Tour, Ethan instantly jumped on the chance to buy the two of you tickets. So, no, Grayson wasn’t sick, he knew about the little plan his twin brother was creating. But since you weren’t aware, you invited your friends, who weren’t aware of the plan Ethan was planning either, along since they also had tickets.

The thing was, you had a plan up your sleeve as well. You knew from the very beginning that your friends were going to be watching groups you and Ethan hadnt heard of before, so you knew you would have some time with Ethan without feeling pressured by your friends to make a move. Through out the day the two of you laughed at random jokes, you shared your drinks and food with each other, you even encouraged each other to do things you’d never have the guts to do if you were by yourself. As the day continued, the two of you held on to each other as the bands you were watching played the slow song of the set. You hugged Ethan longer, and harder after meeting With Confidence, and State Champs, quietly thanking him for sharing the experience with you. With a smile still on your face, you brought Ethan in for a hug, one harder than any of the ones the two of you had shared before.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what today means to me. It wouldnt have been the same without you.” You confessed looking up at him.

The look in your eyes were ones Ethan had never seen before. There was something about them that were different, but looked familiar.

Its the look my parents have when they look at each other. You realized as Ethan looked down at you, swaying the two of you back and forth. As the song started to fade, you started to stand on your tip toes as Ethan started to lead down. Little did the two of you know that your friends were sneakily taking a photo of the moment, something they had been doing all day. Besides seeing their favorite bands, your friends knew of the plan through Grayson, and were capturing the moments neither of you were getting on camera. What a better way to end Warped Tour in the arms of someone you cared for deeply, and that care for you the same way.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch 31

This chapter is a slightly shorter one, clocking in just shy of 1600 words... I know it’s a really short update after the revelation in the last chapter, but this was the best point to break chapters 31 and 32.  Chapter 32 is a very long chapter to make up for it, so there is that to look forward to. 

I may post Chapter 32 later this week, depending on how guilty I feel about how short this chapter is :(

Content warnings for crying and mentions of violence.

Days passed as I waited for the Hujylsogox technology to heal my injuries.  My sister and Antoine were frequently in the room when I woke, watching me like they thought each time I fell asleep may be the last, and visibly relieved that I opened my eyes.  Derek stopped in briefly when he was released, unceremoniously spreading the blanket he borrowed over me before shuffling out of the room, presumably back to his quarters. Conor visited on a handful of occasions, but he always seemed torn between being happy I was okay and feeling guilty for what happened. Eventually, I couldn’t take any more of it and asked everyone to give us some privacy.

Conor looked like a deer caught in headlights as I struggled to sit up. “Conor,” I started softly. “You aren’t responsible in any way for this, you have to know that.  You weren’t even allowed on Level One, there was no way you could have known, much less stopped it.”

“But it is my fault,” he insisted, turning his head away. “I should have seen it, noticed something. You know I watched her constantly, any time she was around.”

“First of all, it sounds really creepy when you put it like that. Second, you watched her because you were in love with her.  Not being able to take your eyes off someone is not the same thing as watching them like a hawk.  You aren’t responsible, you’re a victim, just like the rest of us.”

“You wouldn’t be victims if it wasn’t for me,” he whispered.

“What?” That made no sense to me.

“It’s my fault!” he shouted suddenly, startling me.  “You wouldn’t even be friends with her if it wasn’t for me! I’m the one who invited her to eat with us the first time, I’m the one who wanted her to be around so badly! This is all my fault!” Conor slid down the wall he had been backed against since he first entered the room, sitting on the floor.  The door behind him had opened when he raised his voice, but I just held up a hand to stop my sister and Antoine before waving them back out of the room.

“You really believe that I would never have been friends with Arantxa if you hadn’t invited her to eat with one that first time?  Do you even remember why she was there?” I asked calmly.  He looked up at me, eyes red and wet with unshed tears. “She came to inform me that I was being placed on the Council, and she was my new assistant, remember?  I would have worked with her, day in and day out, whether I knew you or not.  As far as being friends, keep in mind that I met her the same day I met you.  She introduced us, keep that in mind.”

“Yeah, but Sophie – “

“No ‘buts’, dude.  I don’t think any of this would have played out differently, whether I knew you or not.  Yes, one less person would be hurt, but that one person is you, not me.  The only thing you’re guilty of is having bad taste in women, and I can’t even fault you for that because, apparently, I have equally poor taste in friends.  She fooled everyone, but it’s not your fault I ever met her, it’s her fault I met you, and that’s the only crime I can’t fault her for.  I would never give up knowing you, Conor,” I finished softly. “I know how it feels to blame yourself for something beyond your control. I blamed myself for years for what happened to my sister when she was a teenager.  It took what felt like forever to really understand that I had no way of knowing what was going on, and even now, my mind tries to play ‘what if’: what if I had ignored my mother’s refusal to let me talk to my sister, what if I had been more insistent, what if I had just showed up for an unannounced visit. Sure, it could have prevented something, but it also could have replaced what happened with something even worse. In the end, I have no way of knowing what I could have changed.  But Arantxa? Dude, even Derek couldn’t trace any of this back to her from what Noah’s told me.  There was nothing stored on the data center in her quarters, or our office, or even on her data screen.” I shook my wrist at him meaningfully. “All they have is the records of her physical location in proximity to the others involved.  Antoine is a licensed therapist, and he noticed nothing.  My career before everything went to hell in a handbasket was based on understanding and modifying human behavior, and she was practically my shadow for months.  Neither of us noticed anything.  How could anyone expect more of you?”

He wiped away the tears that rolled down his face. “Sophie, you could have died. You almost did. I just – I feel so helpless at the idea that she nearly killed you – “ he gasped before letting out a sob.

“But I didn’t die.  Please stop acting like I have, it’s really starting to hurt my feelings,” I tried joking.  “I need my friends and family right now. All of you.  So please, stop acting like you’re afraid I’ll vanish in a puff of smoke, or die if someone looks at me the wrong way.”

“I just wish I could do something,” he cried.  It was breaking my heart to see Conor, a man who could literally cheer people up just by existing in their presence, so vulnerable and damaged.

“Honestly, I could really use a hug right now, and I really wish I could give you one,” I tried. “But I’m not allowed out of bed, and you’re over there, so that means I need you to come here.”  I scooted over in the bed and patted the space next to me. “I promise, there’s nothing wrong with my spine this time. It’s all in my head, so just smoosh the ribs if you can.”

When he lifted his head, his face was a portrait of confusion – Baffled Irishman on Spaceship, I giggled internally.  I just patted the bed again, patiently, before holding out both my arms in the standard human gesture for ‘hug’, known by every toddler ever born on Earth. “C’mon. Tyche doesn’t do touchy-feely stuff with most people, including me, and you know Derek won’t hug me.  Don’t make me get Simon’s ass down here so I can get a smoosh.” I kept my arms up and wiggled my fingers for emphasis.

He moved like he thought I may change my mind, slowly making his way across the room to gingerly sit on the bed.  When I wrapped my arms around him, he tried just carefully patting my shoulders. “Seriously, not gonna break any more than I already have,” I grumbled into his shoulder. Still moving slowly, he finally wrapped his arms around my torso and rested his chin on my shoulder.  I squeezed him as hard as I could manage until he finally got the hint and hugged me so tightly, he lifted me slightly off the bed.  It felt so good, so comforting, that it brought tears to my eyes.

As soon as the first prickles of tears started, the brave mask I had been forcing on while I recovered came crashing down.  My best friend was a traitor. My heart had a big, gaping hole where a friend and sister used to exist. I felt like Conor was the only person on the ship who knew exactly how I felt in that moment, aside from my sister. The four of us had been the core of my makeshift family, what Noah called my ‘pack’, for so long that all of this felt like losing a limb.  On top of all that, I was scared. I had nearly died.  This time, it wasn’t because someone wanted the resources I had, or wanted to turn me into pot roast.   I nearly died because some insane zealot wanted to wipe out what was left of the human race, and viewed me as an obstacle.  Brave face or not, I was scared shitless.

I don’t know how long Conor and I sat there, crying on each other. I heard the door opening and closing, people entering and then leaving the room.  They may have spoken to us, I’m not sure.  While we had started off sitting across from each other, at some point Conor had fixed the uncomfortable position by pulling me into his lap while he leaned against the wall.  Even when I was exhausted and out of tears, I still held on to what I realized was the first comforting touch I had experienced since originally waking up on the Ark.  “Thank you,” I whispered finally. “I don’t know which one of us needed that more, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Mmm hmm,” he hummed against the top of my head.

“I probably need to go to sleep,” I grumbled.  I was surprised by how reluctant I was to get off of my friend.

“Okay,” he whispered.  When I prepared myself to climb off his lap so he could leave, he just reached out with one long arm to grab the blanket Derek had returned and wrapped it around us both.  “Go to sleep, Sophie,” he murmured, wrapping both arms around me again. “I’ll make sure you’re safe.  That much, I know I can do.”

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