#honestly idk i hate tags hhhhhh

[ciircusbrats]

what will you see in the mirrors                         &&         what will you read in the cards?

[veeveex3]

Just The Two of Us (Idia Shroud x gn!reader)

Tags: fluff, hurt / comfort, crack (?), miscommunication trope (derogatory), my attempt at perspective shifting and humor, idia slander /lh (idk why I bullied him sm in this chapter lolol)

Word Count: 3602

It's been a week since your last date with Idia and you're starting to believe that he's lost interest in you. However, Idia is insecure from what has happened on said date. Luckily, you're both able to clear each other's misconceptions.

AN: hhhhhh i'm sorry this took so longggg i just knew what I wanted to right but not how to write it, y'know. also i wanted to take a break from writing longer fics since I wrote the last one in the middle of the night (as if i'm not doing that again-)

You lay awake in bed. It's 1 am, the air is cool and the only noises you can hear are the trees shaking outside and Grim's little snores. You should, theoretically, be asleep right now. But your worries keep you up.

It's been about a week since your first, and seemingly last date with Idia Shroud. The boy you've had a crush on for so long. The boy you've been close friends with for even longer. And he hasn't talked to you since. You thought he hated you for that date. Maybe it was because you knew of his anxiety and still made him go outside. Maybe it was because you kicked him too much while playing that arcade game. Maybe it-

Your thoughts are luckily silenced by the bright light coming from your phone. You glance over at the notification. Speak of the devil.

Sans: hey you up?

You were annoyed by how nonchalant he seemed despite trying to avoid you for the past week but your desire to be closer to him was stronger than any resentment you had for the boy.

You: no lol

Sans: oh (╥﹏╥)

Sans: im sorry for waking you

Sans: forgot normies needed their sleep

Sans: ill let you sleep

You: no it's fine. i was just joking

Sans: ಠ︵ಠ

You: so, did you wanna talk about something?

There was silence for a few moments. Maybe he really was mad at you; you would think if the constant flickering of ellipses at the bottom of your screen had anything to say for it.

Sans: just wanted to ask you something (´-﹏-`；)

You: and this couldn't wait until morning??

Sans: yes

Sans: i wanna see you again

Sans: in person

Sans: i miss you

Sans: i really do

Your heart tightened with a multitude of different feelings. On one hand, you were upset because he could've spoken up about this beforehand. On the other hand, you would feel really bad to get mad at him if he was serious. And on a separate hand that swatted the other two away, you just wanted to hold your firey little shut in so bad!

You: you better not be lying y'know!

Sans: im not!!!

You: good, cuz i miss you too dumbass

Sans: (≧▽≦)

Sans: wait dumbass?!?!

If you were mad before, that feeling was swiftly filled with amusement. You tried to keep your laughter in, so as not to wake Grim, who was still peacefully sleeping at the edge of your bed. Feeling mischievous, you decided to tease Idia.

You: so, you wanna see me so bad huh???

Sans: ye?

Sans: if it's about me being distant for the past week, ikik

Sans: id rather talk about it in person though

Sans: i don't wanna talk about it over text and have you not believe me and get a bad end!

Your nerves started to grow again. You two didn't even start dating yet and he wanted to break up?! Hopefully this was just a misunderstanding on your behalf but given how tired and already upset you were before, it was hard to think rotationally.

You: k. how about we meet up tomorrow? or today ig

Sans: SO SOON?!?!

You were confused by his response. Clearly if he wanted you two to stay friends then he'd want to have this conversation earlier than later.

You: yeah, why not??

Sans: alright alright fineee

Sans: just dont come super early

Sans: maybe around 12 or something

You: sure. see you

You hoped your texts didn't come off as too bitter but honestly, you just really didn't want the relationship you two started to end so quickly. With that text, you tried to go back to bed.

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Idia: alright

Idia: night

Idia dropped his phone on his desk and plopped his face in his hands. Your texts seemed dryer than usual, you didn't respond back to his good night text telling him he should go to bed as you usually would, and you wanted to see him this soon?! Idia's leg began to bounce as he bit his lip in frustration. He should really clean up his room now. Yeah he would have less time to grind in the newest MMORPG he started playing but it's the price he had to pay for you not to call him a disgusting NEET.

Idia got up from his chair to stretch. His lips positioned themselves into his usual frown as he checked his phone to see if you replied.

.*♡Prefect♡*.: sure. see you

That was the last message you sent to him.

"Of course they're upset at me still" Idia thought to himself, "I mean, I did avoid them for the past couple of days." Since he didn't go to school in person, he spent 90% of his time in his room. Even then, he wouldn't respond to your texts.

.*♡Prefect♡*.: hey! how are you today??

.*♡Prefect♡*.: is everything alright??

.*♡Prefect♡*.: are you upset?

Of course he wasn't upset at you, you miracle given to him by the Great Seven themselves! Why would he be? You're nice to him, your patient, you care about his needs more than he did, you let him kiss you on the cheek-

Idia let out a long, pitiful sigh. He leaned against his desk chair, forehead digging deeper and deeper into the headrest. He wanted to kiss you again. Hell, he would give up almost anything to kiss you properly. But he knew he wouldn't be able to. I mean, yeah you took him out on a date, sure. But why would you, the nicest, sweetest, most precious, and most attractive person be ok with him kissing you, let alone on the lips.

He slowly picked himself up from his chair. I mean, his room isn't going to pick itself up!

"I just really hope they're not mad at me" Idia muttered to himself, "I really do."

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Noon came and you found yourself pacing at Idia's door. Unknown to you, Idia was exhausted from cleaning his room all night and loathing all morning. And unknown to Idia, you were fiddling with the hem of your shirt, thinking that Idia wanted to end your relationship seemingly as soon as it started.

You hesitantly knocked on the door. You heard a soft yelp from the other side followed by a couple small crashes.

"H-hold on a second!" You heard Idia yell from the other side. "And don't startle me like that!" A moment later, the door unlocked and Idia peeked through the crack as he normally did.

"Did you really have to knock that loud?" His voice was soft but still had the air of annoyance you were used to. You nodded you head with a stupid smirk on your face, to which the boy rolled his eyes and opened the door for you.

His room was a lot cleaner than it usually was: his bed was neatly made, any wrappers and boxes were either thrown out or neatly put away, and the cords that were usually littered across the floor were tucked away under his PC. You have Idia a dramatic shocked face while looking at his room and back at him.

"Are you sure this is your room?!" you teased, "It's so clean! And I can barely smell the usual burnt hot pocket stench in here!" Idia lightly bonked you on the head for that remark, causing you to dramatically wince in pain.

"I do clean up here every once in a while, you know? You thought I just never cleaned?" Again, you nodded aggressively to his question. Idia sighed at you and plopped down on his bed. You walked up to his bed to do the same before you stopped yourself. The boy pouted as he noticed you standing in front of his bed still and ever-so-gently patted the spot next to him.

"Y-you don't have to ask permission to sit on my bed. I don't… mind." You did as he said and sat down next to him.

The next couple of minutes were met with silence. Occasionally, one of you two would open your mouths to speak only to be met with silence. Before the last couple of weeks, you and Idia would be a lot more relaxed around each other. Time spent in his room would mainly consist of Idia playing games or working at his desk while you would annoy him while sitting on his desk. What you would give to go back to bombard Idia with requests to pay attention to you just to show him a stupid meme or play the vibe boom sound affect to annoy him. It was like you were two different people now.

"So," you finally spoke up, "what'd you wanna talk about in person?" That question was so simple but hit Idia like a truck. He'd been rehearsing how to talk to you about this but fell short at the task at hand. His mind went blank as he stuttered, fiddling with his hands as he grew more uneasy knowing you were looking at him so intently. He took in a sigh.

"I'm really sorry." Idia trembled as he spoke. He brought his knees up to his face, hiding it and any potential tears that might come out.

"For what?" you asked. You hoped it was for him not responding to your messages for the past week but that didn't seem to be the case since he wouldn't necessarily need to apologize to you in person for that.

"For the date. I was really lousy and anxious and a burden, y'know? And I even had the audacity to…" he paused for a second, burying himself deeper into his knees, "kissing you, in the photo booth." Idia wiped any loose tears on his pants and looked at you to see your response. Surprisingly to him, you had the most deadpan face he's ever seen from you.

"Are you deadass?"

"Y-yeah? Did I say something wrong? Was that not a proper apology for you? You want me to grovel at my knees, begging you for my forgiveness and give you all of my possession?" Idia yelped again as he saw how your face looked somehow even more annoyed. He swore he was about to throw up right then and there. You stood up from the bed to stand right in front of him.

"H-hey, what're you-"

SMACK

Both of your hands held Idia's cheeks as he winced in pain.

"You have to be one of the smartest yet stupidest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting!" You began to smush his face together as he spoke. "I've known you for about a good year now. I've been friends with you for about a good year now. And I've liked you, ROMANTICALLY, for a long while now!"

"R-really?!" Idia looked at you with a dumbstruck expression. You squished his face closer together in response, kneeling down to his eye level.

"Yes, really. And I went on a date with you. I had so much fun that day. Hell, I even kissed you before too and you seemed to enjoy that quite a bit!" Idia grew flustered in your hold. You wondered whether or not he was a robot too, given how much he was seemingly malfunctioning.

"Well- that's because- you know, I-" The more Idia failed to speak the warmer and pinker he became; which was good news for you because you found that shit adorable. You were only teasing him but finding out he really did enjoy your little forehead peck filled your heart by tenfold. But now wasn't the time for gushing over how cute the humanized fireball was. You gently removed your hands from Idia's face and held his hand in yours, placing them on his lap.

"Idia, I'm not upset at you for the date. If anything, I'm more upset that you ignored me for a week since you were probably sulking the whole time." Oof, you hit the nail right on the head.

Idia shrank into himself, feeling even worse about himself. He trembled, trying to hold back his tears. He wasn't considering the fact that you enjoyed spending time with him. He was so used to only Ortho wanting to spend time with him and caring about him. Having a whole human being who wasn't his brother enjoyed his presence so much that they missed the absence of it filled him with overwhelming emotions. Then, you pulled him in for a loose yet gentle embrace, and he cracked.

He brought you in closer, shoving his face in the crook of your shoulder to hide the sniffles and whimpers. You gently rubbed small circles against his back and he trembled more from how hard he was holding back sobbing aggressively into your shoulder.

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Idia began to calm down in your touch, but soon got up to wipe his tear-stained face.

"So," you began to speak, causing the boy to jump, "should I leave now?" You didn't want to leave so soon, all you wanted was to hang out with your favorite gamer boy. However, from what he had displayed earlier, you thought it would be best for him to cool off on his own.

"Wait, no!" Idia realized how loud and desperate he sounded. He began to mentally curse himself for that. "I- I mean, if you'd like to leave you can. But I'm also fine with you staying too."

"Alright, then I guess I'm staying for the night then." You thought it would be best to go back to Ramshackle dorm and pick up some stuff if you were going to do so.

"W-wait- what- h-huh?!" Idia rushed towards you in confusion. He had a bunch of questions to ask at once such as "Why are you leaving?", "Why are you staying overnight?", "Do you wanna sleep in my bed? With me in it?" "Am I dreaming???"

"Well, I thought now's a better time than ever to make up for the time you ignored me for the past week. Plus, I have to get stuff from my room like pajamas and snacks." You moved towards him, poking his chest to get his attention. "That is, unless you have some spare clothes you can lend me instead?"

He was gonna start crying again if you kept this up. He's not at a high enough level to unlock your SSR tier costume! He was just hoping that this limited-time event was gonna get a rerun.

"Well then, I'm going back to my dorm now. See you in a bit!"

"See you…" Idia shut his door as you ran back to Ignihyde's dorm mirror. He cursed himself for ever thinking of ignoring you for so long if this is what the consequences would've been.

You came back with a backpack's worth of stuff, in addition to a small bag of snacks and bottled water.

"What's the bag for?" Idia inquired.

"Well, since we're probably gonna be staying in your room for the rest of the day, I thought I might as well get us some food to eat." Idia's eyes widened, realizing the last thing he ate was a half-leftover bag of gummy worms last night before he started cleaning. How he's still alive amazes the both of you.

You set down your backpack at the edge of Idia's bed and the bag of snacks on his desk. You tried to pick snacks that weren't just sweets given Idia's shit diet that seemed to consist mainly of candy and energy drinks. You make a mental note to order something with vegetables for dinner. One snack in particular catches your eye though.

"Hey, Idia" you call out to him. He hums in response, also checking out the snacks in your bag. "Wanna watch a couple movies?" You grab a bag of popcorn chips and shake it at him.

"Sure" he replies, trying hard not to focus too hard on how hungry the popcorn chips make him, "I can boot up a couple on my laptop." Idia went to grab his laptop while you went to make a pillow nest on the floor.

"Do you really have to put all of my stuff on the floor?" Idia complained as you began to add one of his bean bag chairs in the nest.

"Would you rather sit and cuddle on the bed?" Idia flushed at the mix of tease and sincerity in your voice as he shook his head. You chuckled as you continued to work on your nest, making it big enough for the two of you to fit without making it too small so as not to make things too uncomfortable. The two of you plopped in your creation, pulling a blanket over your laps.

"What do you wanna watch?" Idia asked.

"I wanna watch something stupid."

"Huh, why's that?"

"The shittier the movie, the funnier it is to laugh at how much money the producers wasted."

"Fair enough." Idia chuckled as he went looking for a bad movie to watch.

As he was looking, you decided to sneak glances at the boy in question. His hair was put in a high ponytail, likely from when he was cleaning his room last night. His lips were slightly agape and occasionally wetted by his tongue. He was wearing his long-sleeved black and blue undershirt, black sweatpants, and uncharacteristic purple cat print socks. You bit your lip unconsciously; realizing how creepy that would have seemed, you pried your eyes away from him. You felt a slight tap on your shoulder, causing you to jump.

"Is this one ok?" He pointed to the screen, showing the description for a movie called "The Velocipastor". You failed to hold in your laughter reading it, leading Idia to laugh as well and start the movie. Some time passed as the two of you watched the movie while making snarky commentary on it.

"Why did the pimp even kill the main character's parents anyways?" You ask, reaching for another popcorn chip.

"I dunno. Maybe it's because most media protagonists need to have at least one dead parent to add to their tragic backstory. Imagine this movie as a shounen anime lmao." The two of you started laughing hysterically at the thought. You had to rewind just so you wouldn't miss anything.

As you went to grab more of your chips, you realized the bag was empty. Your hand went to grab another snack from your snack bag as your hand brushed Idia's. He was quick to pull his hand away, but placed his hand on the bag after you got your new snack. His golden eyes glanced at your hands every once in a while, you couldn't help but smile at how obvious he was being.

You slowly placed your hand on top of Idia's. His hand was large and slightly cool. It was rough likely due to how much he deals with machinery. His fingernails were visibly chewed on while his knuckles were boney and prominent. You began to rub over his hand with your thumb, causing the boy to let out a soft sigh. He quickly cleared his throat and rewound the movie once again. You looked over at the clearly flustered boy and chuckled at how cute he was being. The noticable pink tips of his fiery hair would be the death of him.

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Over the course of the night, the two of you watched four shitty movies, had dinner, and had a bunch of fun. After dinner though, you grew sleepy, having only so much energy left. You would slowly start falling asleep only to jolt yourself awake every couple of minutes. That was until Idia stopped the movie you were currently watching and closed his laptop.

"Why'd you stop the movie?" You tried to wipe as much sleep from your eyes as you could.

"Because you need to go to bed" Idia replied, getting up to put everything away, "A normie like you can't stay up for very long, y'know?" You pouted at his teasing, knowing he wasn't exactly lying. It was getting pretty late and your body was getting heavy from drowsiness. You huffed as you made a makeshift bed on the floor and lied down.

"Good night." You yawned, "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Night" Idia muttered, trying to grab a pillow for his bed. As he went to pull the pillow away, your hand grabbed gently at his sleeve, tugging it with just as much strength. His heart tightened from your display. He knew he'd regret it later but he'd have to be a new brand of evil to resist your sleepy charm.

Idia lied down next to you. As he did, he studied your face as he briefly noticed you did to him earlier. Every part of you was perfect to him: your parted lips, you gently fluttering eyelashes, your soft snores. He was so glad to have such a nice CG to go to sleep looking at. He knew he'd have the sweetest dreams from this.

You stirred a bit, causing Idia to turn around away from you, just in case his face creeped you out. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt a slight push against his back. Turning slowly as not to disturb you, he found you trying to tuck yourself into his back. He turned back again to face you and pressed his forehead against your temple.

"Sweet dreams."

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

[philotimon]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: Steel

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I can wiggle my ears.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Hair (beard optional, but preferred). Arms/shoulders. Smile.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Potatoes or pasta.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE:  Chickpeas. Beans. Peanuts. (All things I should eat as a vegetarian, and yet.)

6. GUILTY PLEASURE:  Uhhh, I’m honestly drawing a blank. Takeout? I’ll go with takeout.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN:  Sweats & a hoodie.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I would have never befriended a particular individual.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: Very affectionate once you get onto my buddy list.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: St.ar Tr.ek (2009). I have a lot of issues with JJ Ab.rams, but the movie was incredibly inspiring to me when I first watched it, and it roped me into St.ar Tr.ek on a whole, so. Yes.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: The Wh.eel of Ti.me. It’s a high fantasy series that’s 14 books long. I can’t pick just the one.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: A wolf, because I am love them so much.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: dsgfdg I haven’t had this blog long enough to actually do many ships, but James ships I like are: James/Willow, James/Oz, James/Qrow, James/Glynda, James/Arthur. Yeah, those work.

15. PIE OR CAKE:  Cake.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Clean clothes & floral body washes.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Hhhhhh, I guess Karl Ur.ban. Chris Hems.worth. Katie Mc.Grath. Simone Sim.mons.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO:  Ireland.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert to the max.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY:  Oh yes, I’m a big baby.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID:  Android forever.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Sometimes... when I remember I own games...

23. DREAM JOB: Being a published writer someday.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Never work again. Buy a house & design it the way I want it. Travel the world. Give a ton to my friends & family.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Hate is such a strong word, but I guess I wanna punch a lot of them. Jacques and Adam come to mind, when it comes to RW.BY.

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Uhhh Tsu.basa? IDK, I can’t remember leaving any fandoms recently. I mostly lurk. 

TAGGED BY: Everyone’s doing it tbh, so. TAGGING: Everyone!!

[rinniekins]

I got tagged by @miunala, thank youuuuu!!! ♥

RULES: Bold what you prefer and tag ten people!

coffee or tea

tea is my life source

early bird or night owl

I’m not very good with mornings lmao, and I always stay up very late if possible. (+ insomnia lmao) I kinda wish I was an early bird though.

chocolate or vanilla

I don’t like vanilla that much and I absolutely love chocolate hhhhhh

spring or fall

DEFINITELY fall!! it’s my favorite season out of all. ;v; it’s so pretty and describes my aesthetics completely lol

silver or gold

I honestly like both but I’ve always liked silver a bit more for some reason??

pop or alternative classic & instrumental

yeh

freckles or dimples

I honestly adore both buuuut I’ve come to really like freckles lol. I used to hate my own but I’ve come to really like them uvu dimples are v good too tho

snakes or sharks

I like sharks too tho but snakes aaahh!!

mountains or fields

I like both skfhksfh but mountains ahh ♥

thunderstorms and lightning

... they kinda complete eachother so I really can’t decide lol

egyptian or greek mythology

I like both tho!

ivory or scarlet

obviously.

flute and lyre

I LOVE THEM BOTH!!

opal or diamond

hhhhHHHgh pretty

butterflies and honeybees

I love ‘em both!!! both are super pretty and sooo important

macaroons or eclairs

ye

typewritten or handwritten

handwritten texts show more personality!! and it’s always unique.

secret garden or secret library

I love gardens and flowers and nature overall

rooftop or balcony

#aesthetic

spicy or mild

I can’t handle spicy food too well :c if it’s too spicy I mean lol

opera or ballet

idk why honestly lol

London or Paris

uhhh just because

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

denim or leather

#aesthetic again

potions or spells

so cool and super interesting!!

ocean or desert

pretty. also I kinda dislike deserts thanks to mmorpg video games oof

mermaids or sirens

yeah.

masquerade ball or cocktail party

idk honestly lol, never been to either one of ‘em so

I’m tagging @kinjaru, @laamanautti, @hautakumpu, @krasaar, @avaruusmarsu, @pixlh3art, @plsinsertcoinz, @forestcrowcaw, @caroliner-de-las-noche and @lairofanoutcast !! no need to do this if y’all don’t want though. uvu ♥

[huangfilms]

❁ soft bias tag! ❁

tagged by the lovelies: @yukuwu and @qteaxuxi i love you!

1. who’s my bias?

✧ ez money, i love my bubbly boy renjun! i love him so much im so Soft For Him *FAT FUCKING SIGH*

2. what made you notice him?

✧ when i first saw him in chewing gum i was like- i’m NOT stanning ANY of them (tru story i think i was jealous cause they out here DOING STUFF and im just sitting on my broke ass all day smh) but then when his hot cheeto headass came in mfal my heart: stolen,,, now i literally love him so much it HURTS !

3. what’s your favorite thing about them?

✧ i love his laugh/smile so much but i also love the fact that he can put his members in a chokehold and they wouldn’t even FLINCH 

4. who would initiate skinship more?

✧ me,,,,,,,,,,,,, im a clingy ho but i feel like we would both initiate skinship ! but i also feel that renjun is more likely to initiate skinship behind closed doors like kisses and cuddling

5. who would hog blankets more?

✧ LMFAO THIS IS COMING AT ME! i 100% would hog all the blankets im sorry sweetie HAHAHAH

6. who would be more clingy?

✧ WHKASDHF 100% me i need hat Attention All The Time 

7. who would say “i love you” first?

✧ i feel like we both be too shy to say ‘i love you’ first but i feel like i would get tired of waiting for him to say it so my headass would probs say it first HAHA

8. who would be more easily flustered?

✧ both of us, idk i get so blushy easily! ajsdhl and he gets blushy too! so both of us = flustered easily

9. what cuddling position would you two have?

✧ HM I FEEL LIKE we would both be big AND little spoon, like if he was feeling down then he would be the little spoon and vice versa! im getting soft who made these questions i just wan. t to talk.

10. which colors remind you of them and why?

✧ I INSTANTLY SEE THE COLOR YELLOW WHEN I SEE HIM OR ORANGE BECAUSE I LOVE THOSE COLORS AND I LOVE HIM AND HES JUST- I LOVE HIM! SO MUCH! but anyway yellow because when he smiles i just feel warm and yellow is warm to me askdjfh

11. which season would you like to spend with them?

✧ i would love to spend spring with him! spring is such a soft concept to me because its not too hot or too cold and its the perfect weather to go on picnics or outdoor dates and im! soft! 

12. who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter?

✧ i’m pretty sure i would make the cookies and he would steal the batter LMFAOOOO i love baking and honestly- renjun is just Evil Like That

13. which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

✧ WHAKSDH I WOULD MAKE THE BAD PUNS ALL THE FREAKING TIME AND RENJUN WOULD PROBABLY TELL ME TO SHUT UP AHAHKSHA

14. who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

✧ i would love to adopt 50 dogs renjun would probs adopt balloons but anyway if renjun would want cats then we getting cats i don’t hate cats i just prefer dogs over cats LMAOHDKSHG

15. which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

✧ i think we’re both mediocre enough at cooking to NOT burn the kitchen so i thhink we’re good with that HAHAHDKS

16. who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

✧ i feel like my headass would be leaning over the railings a lot cause im a Dumb Bitch but like anyway renjun would probably have like his hand on my shirt every time there was a railing HHHHHH

17. what would watching a horror film with them be like?

✧ WHSDKJH UM I WOULD PISS MY PANTS! I HATE HORROR AHHAHA I WOULD PROBABLY BE UP ON HIS LAP TRYING TO HIDE OR LIKE ALWAYS UNDER THE BLANKET JUST SQUEEZING THE CIRCULATION OUT OF HIS HAND he would laugh at me asja

18. who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

✧ neither of us would be a smooth flirt we would both be cheesy and cringe at each other The Whole Time HAHKAF

19. who is more competitive?

✧ probably me??? i like the idea of winning but i always know that its just a game HAHAHKASD

20. who would have to be given constant reminders (reminders to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc.)

✧ he would probably have to remind me a lot of these things because i tend to be VERY forgetful,,,,,,,,, i always place my phone somewhere and like 3 minutes later i don’t know where i put it HAHAHA im so dumb

21. who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3am?

✧ BOTH OF US! i feel like we are both equally meme-y and clingy to be sending memes and saying ‘i miss you’ so i think it’s just an even playing field ya know !

THIS IS LITERALLY SO FREAKING SOFT I CRIED WRITING MY ANSWERS!  anyway

i’ll tag:  @norenmin-enthusiast @ggukxie @renjunchokingtaeil @cokehei @peachchenle and @starsindreamies ! 

i’ll also tag whoever wants to do this! if you’ve been tagged already then u can ignore this and carry on with life LMAO! no pressure!

[jeonginsdimple]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*soft bias tag*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

okay so i was tagged for this about five times i swear but they’re so deep in my notifs that i Can’t remember who tagged me and im too lazy to look but whoever u are i love u with all of my heart thank u it’s like this tag was made 4 me i am such a soft stan

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. Who is your bias?

g o d not this question. i’ll do jeongin bc he probably owns the most uwus of mine

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. What made you notice them?

hm.... honestly his b o y s sweater in hellevator was the first thing i saw HJDSHJS i was like “wow.......... that’s...... kinda gay also he’s really cute” but if i’m being completely honest he got such little screen time + lines i couldn’t tell whether he was a part of the group. later on when i looked up their profiles and i saw him i screeched he rly stole my heart very very early on. before i watched the show i kept thinking abt how excited i was to see more of him on screen PFF

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

okay uhhhh u must be the Biggest Bool around if you think im going to name one thing anyway here’s my eight page essay--

fr ok i was going to list some things but i started writing about the first one and it’s too much i’m just going to keep that LMAO

his deep heart is something i think about a lot. i have to admit that i didn’t start watching the show until around when the fifth episode? came out. beforehand i had seen a clip from the fourth episode where jeongin had been practicing for school life, and he started admitting all of his struggles n insecurities n everything (the clip is called ‘jeongin is tired’ or something to that effect on youtube). anyway that was the first thing about stray kids i ever cried about! i sobbed so hard watching that y’all i felt like the Largest Clown around crying alone in my room sobbing over some boy that doesn’t know me PFF. watching him work so hard and worry so much about everything made my heart ache so bad hdsfsjkfdsjk especially since about .2 seconds before watching that clip i had seen a few people hating on him on twitter (which is why stan twt is inferior! too much hate tbh). i think it was at that moment, even if i wasn’t fully aware at the time since i hadn’t seen enough of them, that i really fell in love with jeongin anyway this is getting Too Soft god i’m moving on

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. Who would initiate skinship more?

ME HAHA WHAT KIND OF QUESTION-- have y’all seen that boy he’s like a metal rod when it comes to skinship. there’s this one video where minho’s doing a little pat pat 2 jeongin u kno nd he was STIFF AS HELL it was so funny. i’m so annoying and touchy i’d be attached to that boy deadass like some kind of leech he couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. trying 2 sleep? too bad Big Fool! suddenly i am Your Pillow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. Who would hog blankets more?

hm............ well usually i’d say me because i get cold way too fast, but tbh if it was in a situation where i was laying w jeongin??? i’d let myself contract hypothermia and die he can have it

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. Who would be more clingy?

i kind of covered this already but 100% me y’all i’m so loud when it comes to being clingy. i’d be around him all the damb time if i had the chance fr

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. Who would say ‘I love you’ first?

also me i say i love you way too much. like on a more serious (kind of) note i sometimes worry that i say it to the point where it loses its meaning. i feel like that i should sometimes find other things to say because if there comes a time where someone really needs to hear “i love you” and they can’t believe me because of all of the casual times i’ve said it i’ll probably hate myself lmao. but that’s not important anyway in this situation i’d probably tell this loser i love him every time he came into my line of sight

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･  8. Who would be more easily flustered?

honestly ion know prob both? idk i’m such a loser and i get embarrassed so easy but @ the same time jeongin seems like he sucks at receiving attention without dying. so probably both depending on the situation

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. What cuddling position would you two have?

i am Embarrassed writing this but whatever i’ll just go 4 it. so i really love cuddling. like a Lot. also i have to take into account that i am Large and about two inches taller than jeongin. anyway i’d almost always prob be the Big Boy when cuddling. like i’d be wrapped around him in any way i could be. literally every position would be the one.......... if i wanted to give an example tho y’all know the vliev photoshoot that skz had........... the position that hyunjin n woojin were in? i’m hyunjin and jeongin is woojin that’s just how it is

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. Which colours remind you of them and why?

black bc he’s edgy uwu (no he’s not but for some reason black usually comes to mind......... it’s my favorite color tho so uhhh correlation) also pastel pink bc he’s so sweet and it’s like The soft color and i am Soft for him

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. Which season would you like to spend with them?

winter bc 1: his birthday uwu i’d spoil the fuck out of that boy with my 7 dollars and 2: so many kinship opportunities bc of the cold i’d live 4 it. plus there could b like........ hot chocolate and stuff wowow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

hm........... i like baking....... so i’d prolly bake n jeongin would snatch the batter and i would absolutely Not be angry that boy owns my heart and he can own that batter too

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

ok i’d make so many bad puns every chance i got. fr give him incentive to smarten up and get the fuck away from my annoying ass

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

hhhhhh probably me. like i can’t recall any specific time that jeongin’s even talked abt animals. even tho i’m wildly allergic 2 both (but i have two of each rn i’m not weak y’all can fight me) i’d force him to get AT LEAST one dog with me

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

okay i would definitely be the one burning shit down i have literally burnt mac n cheese. i may b able to bake but once it comes to anything that involves an appliance that isn’t an oven i’m screwed

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

that boy would lean over a railing on like the twentieth floor deadass “owo whats this” and i’d barrel across the room breaking the sound barrier in the process to save that boy i’m way too nervous all the time

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. What would watching a horror film with them be like?

ok well i for one enjoy a good Spook. if it’s like..... real scary tho i’m a little bitch lol. anyway i’d be holding that boy to me like he was on the verge of death the whole time. if he ever jumped i’d probably hold him tight enough to the point where he couldn’t breathe it rly be like that

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i’d be cheesy 100% i’m so greasy. idk if jeongin would be smooth but considering he likes to introduce himself by saying he falls into our hearts and i introduce myself by messing up my first name i’ll take a chance and say he’s smoother

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. Who is more competitve?

him i’m literally so lame i’m not competitive at all. i’d let that boy win in a heartbeat if it made him happy (unless we were playing some like video game shit i get immersed in that)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. Who would have to be given constant reminders? (Remember to eat, don’t forget to your keys, etc)

me all the way i am the most forgetful person on earth. i could be leaving the house n boy’s like “hey loser don’t forget ur fuckin pants”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 22. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘I miss you’ texts at 3am?

i send both and he purposely leaves me on read until i apologize

Tagging: anyone fr i don’t know who’s done it already except @dinonugggies u have to

[primordialwhale]

Tagged by @heliager!! (ffff sorry this took a hot minute)

Rules, answer these questions and tag 20 people!

Name: Rye

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius babeyyyyy

Height: 5′10″

Language spoken: English. I don’t know anything else well enough to list here kjhgldkjdfg

Nationality: American

Favorite fruit: Mangoes!!

Favorite scent: HMMMMM i rly like fruity/sweet/spicy scents

Favorite color: uhhhh black & like pastel purple/pink

Favorite animal: Foxes, Ravens/Crows, Wolves, Octopus, Squid, Cows

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Uhhhhh tea. I’ll drink coffee when i’m in the mood and i’m not a big chocolate fan

Favorite fictional character: YALL IDK. Vex’ahlia. Keyleth. Alphonse Elric. Master Chief

Dream trip: uhHHHHH honestly just a trip where I can go place to place to see my family and my friends all over. Also iceland. 

When was your blog created? this one was 2015 but i’ve been on tumblr since 2010 (yikes)

Last movie you have seen? fuuuuuuuuuuck uhhhhhhhh Civil War?????? 

Song you’ve had on repeat: OH MAN I actually haven’t been on a big music kick lately but!!

Crush - Tessa Violet

The Grey - Thrice

The Optimist - The Funeral Portrait

Ashes - Assuming We Survive

Favorite candy: uhhhhhhh Red Vines or those Sweet and Spicy starburst

Favorite Holiday: Halloween!!

Last book you’ve read: uHHHH i’m re-reading the fall of reach rn! 

Favorite TV Show: HHHHHH i don’t watch tv. Gravity Falls. 

Tagging: anyone???? pls don’t make me tag ppl i hate it fghk;dfjkgh;djkg if u read this and u wanna do it ur tagged

[grungothe2st]

woa H a tag

I was tagged by @cool-beenz for an 82 question challenge and tag 20 people (thank you ily  💗 💗 💗)

LAST

1. Drink Surprise surprise one of my Bing Energy Drinks

2. Phone call My main homeio Jon

3. Text message My mohm

4. Song I listened to Are You Happy by Bo Burnham

5. Time I cried Maybe a few months ago over like anxiety or something idk

6. Dated someone twice? Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Nope

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yeah

10. Gotten drunk and thrown up? Nope

FAVOURITE COLOURS

11. Apple Green 12. Lavender 13. Crimson

IN THE LAST YEAR

14. Made friends? Hell yeah and I love ALL of them

15. Fallen out of love? uhhh ? maybe idk

16. Laughed until you cried? Yep

17. Found out someone was talking about you? No but honestly if people do I don’t blame em’

18. Met someone who changed you? Yeah I’m pretty sure

19. Found out who your friends are? Yep, I love them all

20. Kissed someone on your Facebook list Hell no

GENERAL

21. How many Facebook friends do you know irl? Most of them but some of them don’t really like me so I’m ????

22. Any pets? My two dogs Bella and Brutus, my cat Melvin, my turtles Zee and Roxie, and my 7 fish and I love all of these fuckers so much my sweet babbies

23. Do you want to change your name? Yeah I want my dead name to Begone T H O T

24. What did you do for your last bday? Just had some friends over and hung out not much

25. What time did you wake up? 10 something

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? I have a shit sense of time and I was very tired so I was probably hanging out on discord and drawing or watching MBMBaM

27. Name something you can’t wait for The two concerts I’m going to !! For Saint Motel and The Killers

28. When was the last time you saw your mom? A few minuets ago

29. What are you listening to rn? Sweet Talk by Saint Motel

30. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Maybe? idk I don’t really remember any Tom’s

31. Something that is getting on your nerves? America

32. Most visited website? Discord

33. Hair colour? Brown

34. Long or short hair? Short

35. Do you have a crush on anyone? Yeah and I wanna stab myself for it cause I hate having crushes

36. What do you like about yourself Uhhhh my legs are rock solid so I guess that

37. Piercings? Nope

38. Blood type? I really have no clue

39. Nicknames? Cai, Mord, Mordo, Gay Boy

40. Relationship status? Single and dying yeET

41. Zodiac? Capricorn

42. Pronouns? He/him

43. Favourite tv shows? PEOPLE OF EARTH OHHHH PLEASE WATCH IT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

44. Tattoos? No but soon I hope

45. Right or left-handed? Right handed

46. Surgery? No but there are some I need and hope to get at some point

47. Sports? Tennis

48. Vacation? Canada or New York

49. Pair of trainers? I’m guessing this is shoes so just my grey and green nikes

50. Eating? I just had some toast

51. Drinking? MY BING ENERGY DRINK HAH

52. I’m about to? Draw my characters or watch Groundhog Day idk yet

53. Waiting for? nothing really

54. Want? uhhhh idk rn

55. Get married? Maybe someday who knows

56. Career? Comic artist or something idk

57. Hugs or kisses? Both

58. Lips or eyes? Eyes

59. Shorter or taller? I’m 5′4″ I’m short and I hate it

60. Older or younger? uhhhh I’m 17 so I guess young but I’m older than a lot of my friends so

61. Nice arms or stomach? Hah funny

62. Hook up or Relationship? Relationship

63. Troublemaker or hesitant? More hesitant than troublemaker I guess

64. Kissed a stranger? Nope

65. Drank hard liquor? Nope

66. Lost glasses/contacts? When I was younger I might have lost my glasses a lot but otherwise no

67. Turned someone down? Yeah

68. Had sex on the first date? Never been on a date so no

69. Broken someone’s heart? I think so hhhhhh

70. Had your heart broken? Yeah

71. Been arrested? Nah

72. Cried when someone died? Yeah

73. Fallen for a friend? Too many times

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

74. Yourself? Eh

75. Miracles? kinda ????

76. Love at first sight? mmm not really

77. Santa? Totally

78. Kiss on the first date? If the other person wants to then yeah sure

79. Angels? Nah

OTHER

80. Current best friends name? Jon (my HOMIEO)

81. Eye color? Hazel

82. Favorite movie? Nightmare Before Christmas @musical-trash-number-one @overcastboy @duckaesthetic @donglaurens @doebt @shinyremix @whitefx (idk who else cause idk who else is okay with being tagged hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) Anyway thank you Alice ILY !!

[internet-content]

Ok I'm actually really excited to hear that you didn't like Jurassic world because I didn't either and I want to have a more articulate and informed way to tell ppl why I don't like it other than the "unnecessary and forced romance" point and "it just lost the magic" I was just super disappointed w it and I want to hear more abt your opinion on it. Sorry if this is kind of rambling btw

no worries! for those of you who did not read the tags on this post a couple nights ago, I said:  #I did my capstone on this!!#jp is so explicitly and awesomely feminist#(even though it only has 1 human female character)#the other part of my capstone was that jurassic world is shit garbage its shit it sucks and I fucking hate it

first off I want to correct myself, I said that sattler was the only human female but HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT LEX

these are the bullet points of my 14-page senior project (you asked for it):

jurassic park subverts the male gaze (the dinos do basically all of their murdering when they’re unseen or partially obscured, esp. in the “clever girl” scene; this could be down to spielberg’s famous “less is more” approach to monsters to enhance their effect but still)

this one’s a little more of a stretch but isla nublar, the dinosaurs, and nature in general are all coded as female in the context of the film, and humanity as a whole is coded as male. humanity (who is attempting to impose restrictions on the island and life itself by putting up cages and commercializing everything) is inarguably completely and utterly defeated by the dinosaurs and the island, the protagonists barely get away with their lives and hammond is the only jurassic park employee to see the end of the movie. (female-coded) life finds a way. asshole

also the female characters (ellie and of course LEX) are hugely expanded from the novel (where lex was a whiny younger sister stereotype with no redeeming traits) and ellie probably takes more direct action towards saving the humans than any other character. not to mention that most of the heroic male characters are killed, injured, or too old to contribute anything of value (looking @ you hammond, whose masculine god-playing was the cause of this whole shitstorm in the first place; “dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth”). also the book ends with the island getting firebombed and all the dinosaurs fucking dead but spielberg wasn’t having it

jurassic world is on the other hand a rampaging sexist dumpster fire which specifically subverts most of jp’s feminist ideas. owen is in charge of the raptors, when they defy him they are killed (this is the movie where a velociraptor is unceremoniously blown the fuck up for daring to violate her master’s control, in a moment that is an echo and inversion of the “clever girl” scene, i’m pretty sure that prior to this the only thing capable of killing raptors was the t-rex)

claire fucking dearing. hhhh. I won’t go into detail about everything (you can go through my sources at the bottom if you want) but this character is constantly belittled for…basically everything she does, no matter what (even when she saves the kids’ lives they want to chill with chris pratt like fuck no he’s a dick in this movie) but ESPECIALLY egregious is how much everybody (her sister, owen, the kids) wants her to be a fucking mom, she’s “defrosting ice queen” personified but it’s like the movie wants her to be defrosted through sheer brute force (alan grant was forced into a paternal role in jp but that was due to circumstance, not so much his brother on the phone weeping and begging him to quit his dumb job and focus on the important things like babies) she’s basically on the verge of tears this whole movie and it’s not hard to see why, it’s really uncomfortable to watch it while paying attention to how the other characters treat her. the 3.5 inch heels aren’t even worth mentioning tbh. oh also there’s also a moment where owen is pressuring her to prove that she’s worthwhile in a survival situation (my paper was called “sexism in survival situations” after the scene in jp) and she does so by…removing her top. hhhhhh I could go on but there’s more than just this one fucking character wrong with this movie

remember zara, the assistant who’s forced to do the mothering while claire goes and TRIES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN’T FUCKING DIE thus leaving her nephews to hang out for 4 HOURS AT MOST? (this unforgivable transgression is what prompts judy greer to call her up WEEPING) well you might remember that she lets one of these asshole kids out of her sight and they go on a……..guided tour in a bulletproof glass dome. and then endanger themselves by straying off the path into an area clearly marked as not for access. so I’m pretty sure zara weeps too as a result of this and then later on she is torn apart by like 20 different dinosaurs over the course of a full minute. and a lot of people already know this but it’s just so worth mentioning: this was the first time a woman had been killed onscreen, EVER, in a jurassic park movie. it lasted 60 goddamn seconds, twice as long as it took the main villain of jp (wayne newman’s character) to be killed. i mean. you can just imagine the filmmakers going “you know what? it’s time for a woman to die onscreen, i think that’s what the franchise needs” like

owen grady (chris pratt) really is a pervy piece of shit in this movie, constantly hitting on claire, esp bad since at the end they fucking make out for no goddamn reason. chris revealed in an interview that the first kiss with her after they fight the pterodactyls was unscripted, and a total surprise for bryce dallas howard (colin treverrow, the director, was also there and he confirmed this). I think there’s another interview where she addresses it and she didn’t seem to mind really so ymmv but that’s at least a little icky idk

this movie has more characters overall but the amount of female characters who contribute anything goes down from 2 to 1. it’s been over 20 years but we can’t have 2 women who push the plot forward, okay, whatever (the characters I’m not counting are the lady in the control room who literally friendzones nick miller and zara, who did nothing wrong and died too soon. i liked merlin. she should fire her agent)

god and there’s so much more wrong just with the structure of jurassic world, the characters, the cgi, the themes, everything about it just falls apart under even the smallest bit of scrutiny, I could turn this into a generic shitting-on-jurassic-world post but it’s already long enough

I might’ve gotten a little carried away but like… jurassic park honestly isn’t even in my top 10 favorite movies but I’m so angry about jurassic world. I really hope the person who sent me this anon actually follows me and I didn’t just write this for nothing lol. jurassic world is so bad. its so bad.

“sources” (these are mostly subjective movie reviews that I used to help me form my arguements, this whole post is basically subjective so who gives a shit): Chris Pratt/Colin Treverrow interview, Jurassic World’s Mother of a Problem, ‘Life Finds a Way’: Monstrous Maternities andthe Quantum Gaze in Jurassic Park and The Thirteenth Warrior (it’s ch. 1 in this doc), The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s SilliestCharacter, The Death of Zara Young, or: How I Learned toStop Worrying and Hate Jurassic World, Jurassic World Has A Serious Woman Problem